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raschuuuu · 3 years

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WHY DON’T YOU LOVE ME BACK? // M.YG angst (Suga)

Summary: You finally had your debut with your girl group with Big Hit entertainment. That was your absolute biggest dream but what happens when you have to decide now? Do you want to live your idol life and let the love of your life go for it? Or do you decide for the life of your life?

Word count: 5k

Genre: angst

warnings: established relationship / swearing / soft yoongi / mentioning of breakups / mentioning of suicide/death

Pairing: Yoongi!idol x female idol!reader

A/N: Hello guuuuys! Today I hope very much that you will like this one here! I didn't get any requests so I want to say it again one more time: FEEL FREE TO SEND ME YOUR REQUESTS!!! 😟🥺It’s my second fanfic on this blog I worked very hard on it so I really really hope you guys will enjoy it. If you guys think I could do anything better or you have another preferences please let me know. I’d be very happy if you guys leave a like so I know you read it and liked it. Another note: English is not my first language I’m very sorry if you guys find any mistakes.. 💔

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5th December 2020

What could be better than having a debut just before the year ends? My group and I were supposed to have our debut much earlier but that was postponed due to the COVID pandemic so it was complicated to have a debut this year but nevertheless our company managed to give us a debut before the year ends and I really have to say it's the best thing that could ever happen to me!

My dream has finally come true. How long was I a trainee? Exactly. Six years. Six freaking years I was hidden behind the scenes of my big and famous company. It feels really shitty to be in the shadow of two famous groups in South Korea. Don't get me wrong I'm a really big fan of BTS and TXT but we got tired of being told that we're going to make our debut but at the end we didn’t. I know the guys from BTS and TXT personally and we all get along super well even the other members of my group. But to be honest BTS and TXT couldn't wait for our debut to happen and finally it's here (y/g/n) finally gets the recognition.

31st December 2020

Of course our lives have changed dramatically since we made our debut. Of course it's much harder to go out alone now than before. Before I was a nobody. No one knew me but now I don't even dare to go alone to the convenient store that is just around the corner of our dorm. You might think I'm exaggerating a bit but no, unfortunately it's the truth. Nevertheless, I don't want to spoil my idol life. After our debut we had a lot of promotions and interviews. But even before that we didn't have much time because we had to shoot our music video and photo shoots and we were all sent to the hairdresser because our old look was officially bye bye. I’m happy with my new look I think I look so beautiful I can't believe what a haircut and a nice makeup can do to a person.

Today is the 31st of December. New Year's Eve! New year takes place in less than 24 hours! Where am I? I'm at this year's MBC Gayo DaeJeon. My first new year's eve without my family and officially my first new year's eve as an idol. I'm so excited I can't believe it I'm going to be on stage with my girls and I'm meeting other idols how exciting is that. I'm sitting in the makeup room getting my makeup done by our makeup artist and on the side our hairstylist is making me a high ponytail. I hope I'll look good. Dabi, the oldest of our group and therefore our Unni, has just finished and looks adorable. Miso sits to my left and is also getting her make-up and hair done. Hyemi is getting ready after me because she doesn't take up much time. She has the shortest hair of all of us. I’m sitting with my mobile phone in my hand and texting with my mother. Sometimes I wish I could be with her and with my father and my siblings. I miss them all like hell. I haven't seen them since before our debut. I can't wait to hold them all in my arms next time.

(eomma):

y/n we miss you! New year's eve isn't the same without you but hopefully you'll have fun on stage today. We'll all be watching you! Your dad and I your grandparents and your siblings so don't worry we're always with you! Good luck my child fighting! 🎉🎆

I notice how i get tears in my eyes but no I mustn't cry my makeup gets ruined. Just as I want to answer my mother i get a new text on my phone.

(yoongi):

I'm excited to see you tonight! You'll be great I believe in you.

By the way... I guess I didn't tell you that I'm dating Min Yoongi. That's right, Min Yoongi.

flashback

2014

"Y/n! We're about to meet BTS!" says Hyemi as I just walked into the dance practice room. What BTS? The group that made their debut last year? "Really why?" I ask looking at her confused. Apparently all new trainee male or female, are introduced to BTS because they want to give us some nice words and encouragement on our way as trainees. Just as I was about to sit down, the seven men came in the door. One after the other, they passed us by. Wow, these guys can count themselves lucky that their time is up. But one boy in particular stands out to me. He has red hair. Not too light and not too dark, a red that almost goes brown. He is beautiful.

I haven't really informed myself about who BTS is, of course I still have difficulties to remember their names, I just became a trainee before I didn't care who was a trainee here... but this man is beautiful!

Oh crap he looks at me. Why is he looking at me. Someone tell him to look the other way please I’m so awkward I don't know how to act when someone looks at me I better look the other way. The leader said some nice words to us they all wished us luck and said that they can't wait for us to make our debut and that when the day comes they're all gonna be happy and supportive! Really nice of them I never thought that they would do something like that. We all got up and bowed and said thank you, while BTS was about to walk out I saw the red haired boy looking at me one last time before he went out. Crazy man do I have something on my face stop staring!

2015

I started to get to know them better each and every one of them. I get along best with Hoseok and Taehyung. Every now and then we run into each other in the building and talk for a few minutes. We trainees also got to meet all the guys in person, they are all so nice and down to earth I don't regret it one bit that I joined this company! Jungkook is about my age and every now and then we have a few laughs together. Once you are in the company you are like one big family whether it is with the trainees or the staff. However I have not been able to get close to one person and that is Min Yoongi. I don't know what it is but every time he and I are in a room with other people it just gets awkward. I don't know what it is but every time he is near me I feel intimidated and just want to get out of there. We've never spoken a word to be honest maybe it's because he feels awkward around me too? I can't understand why he feels this way I always try to get along with everyone even if i don't want to and make everyone feel comfortable around me because I want it to be mutual. So what's his problem?

2016

I have heard from his members that he has a crush on me and gets shy around me which I totally don't understand because how can anyone be into me? Especially back then! I don't want to go into too much detail but I can tell you that after a while and with the help of Hoseok and Taehyung he and I started texting at some point. We had been friends for a long time but only online. We were both too nervous to meet in person and to be honest that had been impossible because he was busy as fuck and no one was supposed to find out that we were texting. BTS recognition grew more and more each year and he became busier and busier each day. I was of course very happy for everyone and one rainy day in the evening Yoongi appeared out of nowhere on my doorstep and confessed his love to me. I am still overwhelmed by it and it all feels so unreal and like it just happened yesterday, but I went for it and agreed to be his girlfriend.

back to December 31st 2020

For four years we have been hiding our relationship. Nobody knows about it the whole Big Hit staff doesn't know about it and neither do our managers the only ones who know about it are his members and recently my members. I didn't want to tell them until we made our debut together because I was too scared of being told off during my trainee time. But I have to say that the girls stand behind me and accept our relationship and they all swore they would take it to the grave with them.

I quickly turn down the brightness of my screen because there's too much danger of my hairstylist and makeup artist reading the text. I close my phone and put it on my lap. How much I want to answer him but I don't dare I can't answer him when there are too many people around me. After a while we were called and it was finally our turn I'm so nervous but we managed it all with flying colors and we were the topic of the evening.

In a few minutes it's already new year I'm ready and let 2021 come to me. At midnight Yoongi calls me and I answer the phone with joy.

"Happy new year y/n! I love you and I hope we will spend more time together this year even though it will be harder now." I smile to myself and say "Happy new year Yoongi... how is your shoulder? Are you resting enough? Are you eating enough? Are you sleeping enough? Are you in pain? If you are in pain then take a painkiller and go back to the doctor!" I can't see it but I can tell he is grinning and shaking his head. I don't let him get a word in edgewise.

"Don't worry I’m fine I just miss you you're the only painkiller I can take" - "Hahaha yah! You're so corny! I miss you too sweetheart I wish we had spent this new year together... I’m sorry it turned out like this!" I feel really bad because I know he won't be able to spend new year with his boys or me... To be honest we have never had a new year together except on the phone but this time it could have worked out! He is at home with his injury and if we wouldn't have had our debut then we would have had a first new year together after four years of relationship!

January 10th 2021

At the beginning of the new year our manager gave us our schedule plan at it looked hella busy! This whole January we would be completely busy we don't even have one weekend off! I can’t believe it how will I able to see my family or even Yoongi? I saw him at the first weekend of January we spent it together at his family’s house in Daegu behause to be honest that is actually the only place that we can go to a little far away from Seoul without having to worry that any of the staff could know or see us. My family also knows and loves him to death but with my family living in Seoul it’s complicated to take him there. Our manager left the room and I looked at Dabi with the ‘You and I bathroom NOW!’ look she understood and got up from her place and she followed me to the bathroom. We checked if any other person was inside when there wasn’t I said “What the fuck I’m I gonna do now Unni? How am I able to see Yoongi? How will I be able to even go out. I won’t even have time to take the fucking trash out from our dorm when it’s my turn to clean!” I yell. She stands there giving me a confused look. “What do you expect y/n? You chose to have this idol life you know its busy and complicated to have a boyfriend especially as a fresh debuted idol! Why do you think they won't let us have a relationship? I wish I could help you but I can’t. We’re gonna be busy as fuck!” she yelled back. “Psh shut your volume down unni!” she opened the door to see if there was anyone outside but there wasn’t.

I feel bad I really do. I don't want my members to be in trouble because of me that's the last thing I want. I hug her and apologize to her. I have to think of something I don't know what to do. I don't want us to be away from each other for too long what happens when he stops loving me all of a sudden? What do I do when he goes back to work then it will all be worse! Before I became an idol we could always see each other at the end of the day but now it will be impossible. I have to talk to him about it because one thing we promised each other is that we talk about everything because that's the only way a healthy relationship can work and such a complicated relationship we both have. I take out my phone and write him a message.

(me):

Yoongi. Tonight FaceTime date you and me?

In less than two minutes I already get my answer.

(yoongi):

of course!

evening

I turn on my MacBook and call him on FaceTime. After three rings he answers the phone and turns it off too so he doesn't have to hold it in his hand. He still has his bandage on and his hair is wet he must have been in the shower. He wears cute pyjamas and fight me or not but black haired Yoongi is the most beautiful Yoongi. I always fall in love again when I see him. Hard to believe we were so awkward with each other back then but this year is already approaching 5 years together. I could never imagine my life without him.

"Hey my darling" he says happily and smiles at me. I smile back and ask him how he is. He tells me that he is getting better every day and that during his time off he has found a lot of time for himself and his music and how much he misses the others. And me too, of course. "What's wrong with you?" he asks me when he notices that my mind is somewhere else. I think he took the Facetime date too seriously. He be sitting there with his cup of ramen. I just laugh. "Yoongi... I'm going to be busy all of January and manager oppa said that February might not be any better," I say and wait for his answer. He swallows his noodles and drinks a glass of water. "Does that mean we won't see each other this month?" he asks. I think he's a little disappointed I know him and I know his tones and his looks and I can hear my heart breaking by now. And how much I'd like to see you Yoongi. Every second every day. "No," I say, and then an uncomfortable silence descends.

“You know what baby it’s fine don't worry. I mean I wasn’t any better back then do you remember when I always used to be so busy? I never had time for you and I felt so bad. But you were there for me and you stayed by my side and you were and still are the most supportive girlfriend I could ever ask for. I think it would be unfair to be mad at you. I’m happy for you forever and always” well that was unexpected. I start getting tears in my eyes. I didn't think of this reaction not at all! I smile at him and say “Thank you baby... I will appreciate it I really do. But still I feel bad because especially in this period where you're sick I wish I could be there for you and take care of you. This debut was so unexpected I’m really sorry” - “Yah don't be sorry y/n. You worked your goddamn fine ass off to be where you're at right now be proud of you this is just the beginning. And it’s not like that we won't see each other ever again right?” he says. He’s right. He’s totally right. It’s not like we won't see each other ever again.

January 17th 2020

Well... seven days passed and we still haven't seen each other and we haven't talked since one week. We text every now and then cause I really only get to use my phone when it's night and we go back home but every night I'm so damn exhausted and tired that I forget to answer to his texts. I don't even have time to text my parents back or my siblings. I feel so bad I'm such a bad person. I miss them all so much. I miss my parents. I miss my sister and my brother. I miss my grandparents. I miss my boyfriend. I miss my boyfriend so damn much. I really didn't think this life is gonna be so hard for me. I feel like I've been put in the middle of a scale with my career on one side and my relationship on the other side and I have to choose one side or the other. I've never thought about breaking up with Yoongi ever in my life. Never. I just can't. I need this man too much. Even though we never have the most beautiful and perfect relationship and see each other very rarely, it's just the thought that I know there's someone in my life who loves me and accepts me for who I am that counts. He took me with my imperfections he put his career what he loves most in his life in risk to be with me and now that we are both in this situation I don't know what to do I feel bad and selfish for even thinking about it I don't want to make him feel like my career is more important than him or our relationship he doesn't deserve that he deserves the world and he deserves to be happy. But I love my career I love my job I love my members I love our staff I love our fans. Our biggest fear was not being accepted by the society outside especially now in this period when BTS is one of the biggest groups in the whole world and have a very big influence in the KPOP industry. We were afraid that society would think that since we are the first girl group to make a Big Hit debut in a very long time that people would think that we would mess with the boys heads or that there would be any rumors started between us and the other groups. But on the contrary people have been happy for us and love our music and us individually. I feel like Hannah Montana I feel like I am living a double life.

20th January 2021

"I know you are overwhelmed with the situation my child, I can imagine that it is very hard for you but you have to know what is best for you. You can't tell anyone from your company, you are a rookie, if they find out you had a boyfriend during your trainee time then it is even worse. I wish I was with you and could help you or just be there for you. I love Yoongi very much but I love you even more and I am happy with any decision you make. Just make the right one" my mother says on the phone. Tears have been flowing since she got on the phone but I don't want to tell her and I try not to sob but I know she can tell by my tone that I am crying. She is right. I have to make a decision. Yoongi is getting better day by day and soon he will be busy too he will go back to his daily routine and the other members. He will have comebacks he will have dance practices he will have to go to the recording studio he will have photo shoots he will do interviews and when the corona situation allows he will have to go to other countries and I have to do the same.

I love him to death and I will never love anyone as much as I love him but I am just not happy like this and you can tell me what you want he is not either but he doesn't let it show. Yesterday on the phone there was such an awkward tension between us it felt like I was making small talk with a stranger. Even though I might be the bad guy but one of us has to make the first move. I have wished and hoped that this day will never come but I have to do it.

23 January 2021

Yoongi told me that he is back in his flat in Seoul with his mother. Unfortunately he still can't travel alone so his dear mum went with him. I missed her too, she's the nicest and sweetest woman ever. When I imagine that I won't see her again either, tears well up in my eyes. But today I have to do it. Who would have thought that our reunion would be like this? Who would have thought that I would break up with him. He won't expect it but I have to do it. I’m cold and sick and I just want to go to bed and get the day over with. It's 11pm at night and we've come home after a long hard day. I look out the window and wait until our manager is out of sight.

My members know about my plans and of course have asked me a million times if I am sure and if there is no other way out. I am very happy that they are worried about me but I also feel bad towards them. I have been hiding it from them all our trainee years and when I told them they were all so good about it and even want me not to do it. But no I will do it I am young and want to concentrate on my career and what is coming up for us.

I told Yoongi that I would come, of course he doesn't want to because it's way too late but I said it was important and that we had to talk about something. When I said we had to talk about something he was quiet and then just said he would wait for me. I put on a hat and a thick jacket and the hood of the jacket and a mask and a scarf and go out into the high snow that has covered Seoul. His flat is not far from mine but still I have to take a taxi. I ask the driver to wait for me because I don't want to stay there long I want to get it over with quickly and go.

(me):

can you come down?

(yoongi):

why don't you come up?

(me):

I think its better when you come down Yoongi I don't want your mom to be worried or hears any of that were gonna talk.

He doesn't text back instead I just see the lights turning on from his window. A few minutes later he comes down. Oh my fucking lord he is so handsome. I want to run up to him and kiss him from head to toe. I want to be in his arms. I want us to go upstairs together and fall asleep together. I want to build a snowman with him. I want to be with him forever I love him he is the love of my life.

He comes up to me and smiles at me. He stands in front of me and we both don't say a word. His smile turns into a confused look he notices something is wrong. "Don't I get a kiss or a hug?" he asks me. My heart breaks into a thousand pieces. I would love to rip your clothes off Min Yoongi.

"I want to break up." Silence. Silence. Silence. Silence. "Yoongi say something?" I ask him. He says nothing. He looks at me with a blank look he is sad he is disappointed he is devastated just like me. "Yoongi please?". He does not speak.

"Yoongi, I'm sorry. I-i-I really love you I love you more than anything but I know that I can't give 100% in our relationship now. I just want us to be happy but I see that we are not. It could have been great during your time off but I can't be there for you... sooner or later it should have happened. I want to be with you but I can't anymore it was okay then but it's not okay now we're both famous you're in the biggest boy group in the world if anyone finds out we're together we'll be screwed. Especially me Yoongi. Female idols have it harder than male idols you know that. I’ve been thinking about this for a long time and I think this will be the best thing for us I-" he interrupts me.

"How dare you to tell me what's best for me? Do you have any idea what you're talking about y/n? Stop trying to tell me what's best for me when you know you're the best thing that's ever happened to me in my life god damn. I was going through a difficult time in my life and you were the only one who was there for me! And now you're telling me let’s break up because you're afraid people are gonna find out? And that they are gonna blame you? The fuck? Theres always two fucking persons in a relationship y/n! I also wanted that. I wanted you. Don’t you love me anymore? Why don’t you love me anymore? We hid our relationship for four fucking years why can't we hide it now?" he said yelling at me.

I am shocked and sad I want to die. I don't want to live in this life without Min Yoongi. But I know it's best for us I do it for him and his career too.

"Yes I don't love you anymore" were my last words before I left.

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A/N: damn y/n!!! did you just break up with the mf min yoongi? you better save your relationship! guys if you want a part two (with maybe a happy ending?) let me know! love you bye 🎀

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readyplayerhobi · 5 years

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Peppermint | 01

; Hoseok x Reader

; Genre: Fluff, future light angst

; Word Count: 10.6k

; Synopsis: Achieving your dream job is something that very people manage to do, which is why you’re all the more happier when you land a job on the film team at Poppin’ Culture; the biggest pop culture website, blog and YouTube channel around. What you don’t expect however, is to fall for the exceptionally shy and awkward colleague who is not even remotely your type. Or is he?

; A/N: This is just what I’ve been writing to try and get back into the swing of things. It’s just...light and fun. Was supposed to be a one shot but it’s getting long and it feels like a good place to end as a first part! Please send me thoughts, comments and encouragements as it’s a struggle to write lately ;-;

01 ; 02

“And this is our main office. It’s open plan, as you can see so I hope that doesn’t bother you too much. We’ve found it works better to just throw ideas out in the open or to just get reactions so feel free to shout out if you need something. Everyone’s very friendly,” Seokjin smiles at you brightly, his thick lips turning up and making his eyes sparkle behind his glasses as he leads you into the wide open space. “And this is your desk. Feel free to decorate it however you want. Nothing will beat the car wreck that’s happening on Jimin’s desk.”

“Hey! This is artistic mess. Everything has a place and there is a place for everything.” The bubblegum pink haired man in question half stands, a finger pointing threateningly while his pearly white teeth peek out from beneath plush pink lips. You can’t help but smile, as his slim frame and cute cheeks make him look distinctively non-threatening and ruin any hope he has of convincing you otherwise.

It could also be the fact he looks like a hipster from Seattle with the thick, black plastic frames delicately placed on his nose and the retro 80s film shirt with an open black and white plaid shirt over the top. Still...he’s rather pretty and you wonder momentarily if you’ve somehow entered another dimension with astonishingly beautiful people.

Either that, or you’ve walked into the set of some reality TV show but you’re not quite willing to break the Matrix programming just yet.

Seokjin snorts and rolls his eyes, lifting a ring laden hand to brush his black hair out of them. It’s hindered slightly by the tan beanie on his head and you’re momentarily distracted once more by his impressive frame. The white shirt with the Jaws film poster on it stretches rather enticingly over his broad shoulders while his black, ripped jeans are snugly secured with a leather belt that has a Superman belt buckle.

Honestly, how were you meant to work in this place?

He’d already introduced you to Namjoon, the creator of Poppin’ Culture who oversaw all aspects of his slowly booming media empire along with Namjoon’s wife, Chaeyoung. She oversaw the HR aspect of everything and had been your first point of call before Seokjin had come down to retrieve you upon getting the call that you had arrived.

Seokjin is the editor of the Poppin’ Culture website, which is the big daddy of the whole enterprise. It had originally started 10 years ago in Namjoon’s university bedroom apparently, just posting reviews of retro films and any new films that came out.

A decade later and it was the biggest source of pop culture news, blogs and entertainment in the Western hemisphere. The website scores over 250,000 hits a day with the blogs averaging a pretty healthy number too and the YouTube channels generating a steady enough income to keep a small team afloat with ease.

His sheer love of all things cultural meant that Poppin’ Culture had expanded far beyond its original remit of film and now had something for everyone. There was the film blog, the gaming blog, the music blog, the television blog and even the book blog. And you’d heard rumours of them branching into sports with talk of a fighting blog and channel appearing soon which would be interesting.

Sports were a whole other thing in the world of things people obsess over.

Either way, you’d been rather desperate to get a job here when the opening had appeared on the job listings website for a new in house content writer. When you’d found out that you’d got it, you were pretty sure that you’d almost deafened Sunmi with your screams of excitement.

As a film major with an English literature minor, it was perhaps the dream job to combine both of your loves together and work with people who were just as enthusiastic about the world of film as you were. Your friends and family had long since grown bored of how you picked apart the latest films or their trailers, but now you would have an audience of thousands that would not only be receptive to it, but interested too.

In your earlier meeting with Namjoon and Seokjin, they’d laid out your responsibilities for you pretty clearly. Given that you were in your six month probation period, you would be expected to create two blog articles a week with the possibility of writing a video script if it was approved by the video team.

Two articles may not sound a lot, but you’d already been informed that you would also likely have to do some indepth research into the topics to provide factual information, along with making sure it wasn’t something that had been done before. Not only this, but you would be expected to be constantly scouring the internet to find new topics of interest and trying to catch the latest leaks before they even happened.

While you’d been hired for the film team, you’d been told that most people tended to dip into other areas to help out or if they had some particular interest in it. As such, you could be expected to possibly be asked to find out the Top 10 Facts About The NES or 15 Things You Never Knew About Taylor Swift or something.

Wasn’t the most scintillating of things to you, but you were willing to branch out and help if necessary. It was a small team and you understand that sometimes you’d need to pitch in when it was required of you, which in turn meant you knew that you could rely on the same help.

“Jimin is our music guy. He’s the one who usually writes the music blogs and videos but he also does the gaming stuff sometimes. Also has a regular book blog where he reviews obscure international books because that’s his thing.” Seokjin says, rolling his eyes as he leans against the desk.

Jimin’s desk is littered with piles of CD cases - who even uses CDs anymore? - along with three different pairs of headphones. He also has a ton of Funko Pop! Vinyl figures that you recognise to be musicians along with a set of Assassin’s Creed characters. You recognise them because Sunmi’s ex-boyfriend had them too.

“Really? You’re going to come into my space, and ruin my time while insulting me? Am I going to wake up tomorrow morning to find you shitting on my lawn too?” Jimin slumps back in his chair, pulling a pair of pink and white headphones over his head to rest around his neck while eyeing the taller man with narrowed eyes.

“You live on the top floor of an apartment building ‘Min. What am I? A wizard?”

“I wish. Maybe you’d wingardium leviosa your ass off my damn desk.” He grumbles, nodding his head at you. “Have you ever read In The Miso Soup by Ryu Murakami?”

The question is so sudden that you’re left standing with wide eyes, shaking your head slowly. You’d not read a lot of translated work in college, though you were hoping to change that. Jimin sighs and slumps in his seat, clicking on his mouse a few times.

“Fucking weird dude. Still not entirely sure what went on it.”

Before you can even respond, Seokjin is leading you over to the desk behind Jimin. This desk is even messier, only you really can see the artistic mess here. It’s covered in pencil sketches that are stacked haphazardly while a high tech looking electronic drawing pad takes up most of the space with even the keyboard pushed away.

The guy sat comfortably in the green and black gaming chair has a black beanie on his head too, only he has platinum blonde hair that covers his eyes. And what pretty eyes they are when he looks up at you; as if someone has reached up into the sky and plucked two of the brightest, shiniest stars and placed them directly onto him.

“Oh, hey. I’m Jungkook. Jeon Jungkook. I’m the graphic designer here...with a side passion of actual drawing obviously. I mostly use Photoshop but I like to get a bit hands on.” He talks rapidly, his voice quite deep but soft. Pausing, he bites on the black lip ring embedded in the right side of his lower lip before sitting back.

The vibrant and colourful tattoos that run up and down his arms do nothing to hide the obvious fit physique he has and you find yourself dragging your eyes away from that ridiculously broad chest. He’s only wearing a black shirt but my god.

Seokjin lets you both talk for a little, discovering that if you need anything made graphics wise then to let Jungkook know. Apparently he’s the head designer and has two more people under him; Jennie who deals with a lot of designing and Soyeon who handles their website and online shop.

You’re then introduced to Yoongi who is in charge of sound for the videos. He’s pretty quiet but friendly and bright, secluded away in the corner of the office with a soundboard in front of him, while his co-worker Lisa, a video editor, is entirely the opposite. They’re both sat on the same bank of desks, and the difference between Yoongi’s monochromatic desk and Lisa’s bubblegum pop explosion is almost amusing.

The video game team was made of Miyeon, Yugyeom and Baekhyun who all took up the corner on the opposite end of the office to you. You weren’t a huge gamer, but apparently the video game side of Poppin’ Culture was one of the most popular and profitable so you could understand why they had the largest team compared to the others.

Your desk is opposite Jimin’s, allowing you a view of him if you look to your right and it looks sparse compared to everyone else’s. The guy behind you is Taehyung and you’re pleased to discover that he’s friendly and warm with a bright box smile that makes you feel at home instantly.

Taehyung is the other content creator on the film team and someone that you’ll be working closely with, though apparently he also works with Jimin on music. From the short conversation you have with him, it seems that Taehyung mainly specialises in foreign film and you surmise that you’ll be left with most of the more mainstream options with the Oscar bait films being split between you both.

He seems enigmatic enough, with the white ribbon wrapped around his neck and billowing white button up shirt that ends with a pair of baggy, tan trousers. He’s not wearing any shoes, or socks, and you wonder if that’s a violation of something somewhere but no one seems to be saying anything.

His entire desk is full of various plants, artistic photographs in elegant frames and beautiful old film posters in miniature form. A photo of a black and tan Pomeranian is eagerly introduced to you as Yeontan, his dog and you can’t help but laugh at how excited he is to show off his lil pup.

But perhaps not as excited as you when you discover that Friday’s are ‘Bring Your Dog To Work’ day. Apparently Taehyung, Yoongi and Jennie all bring their dogs and it usually ends up just being people playing with them.

Yep, definitely the best workplace already.

“Hey Hoseok, come here before you sit down.” Seokjin calls out to the late entry into the office before looking at you. “I’ll introduce you to our head video editor. He’s the one who usually helps with recording videos, then he’ll edit it all together. He works closely with Jungkook for graphics and if you write a script then he’ll work with you to see if you want anything extra added in like humourous cuts, edits and so forth. He’s got Lisa on his team and a guy who works part time, Taemin.”

The man in question almost shuffles forward, a delicate looking hand gripping the brown fabric strap of his shoulder bag tightly while he looks down at his scruffy, black Converse clad feet as Seokjin introduces you to him. He looks about the same height as Seokjin, though all you can see is a head of messy chestnut brown hair and black circular lens glasses that looks like they’re going to fall off his nose.

“Nice shirt.” You say with an encouraging smile, wondering why Hoseok looks like he’s trying to crawl through the floor mentally. He looks up at that with almost shockingly wide eyes and you almost groan out loud.

This place is blessed or cursed. You’re not sure which yet.

He’s wearing a faded Jurassic Park shirt, the famous logo sliced by ‘dinosaur’ claws, while a pair of ever so slightly baggy and ripped denim jeans are kept up by an oversized tan fabric belt, the end trailing down to his knee. A knit grey cardigan covers his arms and you find it oddly endearing how it’s slipping off one slim shoulder, obviously far too big for him.

The shoulder bag he’s carrying also has the Back to the Future logo on it and you point at it with a grin. “Great Scott! I like your bag too.” You point then at your own chest, your shirt emblazoned with the Back to the Future logo and frown as his eyes dart down before his cheeks flush bright red.

His obvious shyness just seems to make him more endearing to you, and you let out a quiet laugh. There’s an almost awkward silence for a moment as Hoseok just stands there, giving Seokjin tiny glances before he finally sighs and points to the desk behind yours. Hoseok almost bolts there, disappearing behind the iMac and you look back at Seokjin with a raised brow.

He kneels down so he’s closer, the music of the radio that’s blasting out 80s classics drowning out anything he might say to you. “Hoseok’s a good guy, he’s just a little socially awkward. A hard worker, and he’ll do anything you ask but...it’s a little hard to get him to open up. Keep trying though, he will occasionally have a full conversation with you and I keep trying to make sure he’s included so he doesn’t feel left out. Don’t take it personally, it’s just how he is.”

Nodding, you turn on your own iMac and wait for it to boot up before going through the process of getting everything ready for you to work. Given it’s your first day, Seokjin just gives you some simple tasks to go through to help familiarise yourself with their method of working before leaving you to your own devices.

It’s as you’re sat reading through the style guideline for the blog that you watch as Hoseok suddenly appears in the corner of your vision. He’s rolled over to the edge of his desk, hands flipping through the stacked letter tray there as he searches for something while he presses his lips together and blows his cheeks out. You can’t help but watch him with idle interest as he does so.

He’s definitely cute, in fact he’s more than cute. Hoseok is actually stunningly beautiful and from the side, you’re getting to see his arresting profile with ease. A strong jawline swoops in bold lines on his face while his nose is a straight slope with the gentlest turn at the end, his lips thin but full enough to look delightfully kissable as he pouts suddenly without thinking as the tiny frown of concentration causes his strong brows to fold in.

As he finds what he needs, you watch as he disappears back behind his screen before sighing quietly to yourself.

It’s probably not very moral, but you definitely had enough new material to keep your spank bank going for a good few months now. If nothing else, you should thank Namjoon for that.

“Did you watch Roma yet?” Taehyung asks, rolling his chair backwards until he appears in your vision. His wispy blonde hair lays straight on his forehead as he rests his hands behind his neck, letting his long sleeved blue sweater stretch across his torso. It’s unusually tight for someone who basically lives in baggy clothes; you’re pretty sure he’s even worn his pyjamas once.

Over the last three months of you working at Poppin’ Culture, you’d understandably grown close with Taehyung as you’d bonded intensely over your love of film. It turns out he was also a film major with a photography minor, meaning he was exceptionally invested in the artsy films or just films with great cinematography.

You’d already been subjected to two passion filled rants of his about Mad Max: Fury Road and Blade Runner 2049 as being prime examples of great cinematography in big budget cinema. It was okay though, as you’d already chewed off his ear about why you thought Aliens was one of the best sequels ever made in history and he’d listened with interest.

There was nothing better than someone who was willing to indulge in your long winded talks about your favourite films; from cult classics to obscure favourites to Hollywood blockbusters. Your rapport with him was so good in fact, that Seokjin had had you do a test video with him to see how well you worked in front of the camera.

The results must have been positive as you’d been given a weekly film podcast with Taehyung that talked about the week’s releases along with any news in the film world. If there was time then you both would regale viewers with your favourite films and analyse them.

So far, it was doing pretty well and you were pleased with the numbers it was pulling in. Not to mention that people seemed to like your inclusion into the videos, which was why you’d ended up in a few other videos around music or even gaming just to voice over them. Taehyung had obviously been a hit.

He had a face for the camera and you’d already jokingly suggested in many a team meeting that they should make merchandise with just his face on it. His little fan club even named themselves ‘Taes Baes’.

“No, I haven’t had chance yet. I’ve been watching The Sinner, I’ve only got like two episodes left but I’ll check it out at some point! Alfonso Cuarón makes such good films; Gravity is still amazing and I’m still mind boggled at the sheer complexity of how that must have been to film with all the CGI they had to do but I feel like Roma looks a little more stripped down.”

Taehyung is nodding slowly, biting his lip almost absentmindedly as he listens to you. “Gravity is great, but you should definitely check out Children of Men. Much better, but Y Tu Mamá También is also phenomenal if you don’t mind the sexual scenes. But yeah, watch Roma. Definitely going to be a bit hit with the awards season and I can see him getting Best Director at the Oscars.”

“Really? It wouldn’t surprise me.” You muse, leaning back in your own chair and crossing your legs as you watch him now.

“Yep. And if he does win, then that’ll be his second Best Director win and it will also mean that Mexican directors have won five out of the last six. They’re killing the Oscars game lately. I still wish Barry Jenkins had won for Moonlight...way better than La La Land.” He sighs wistfully before nodding at your computer screen inquisitively, the beginnings of your latest blog post on the screen.

“Oh, I’m writing why I think Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse deserves the Best Animation at the Oscars. I liked The Incredibles and Ralph but if they win over the magnificence of Spider-Man then I will flip this table.” Pointing to your desk jokingly, Taehyung giggles sweetly.

Your desk has also changed over the last few months as well. A few cute Funko figures of your favourite Star Wars characters have popped up along with one or two more stylised figurines like your Xenomorph alien. Along with that, you’ve invested in some funky letter trays and pots to just bring some brightness to portray your personality a little more.

“I’ve not watched it yet. I know, feel free to pinch my arm. Hoseok has watched it though, he mentioned it the other day. Hey Hoseok, come here bro.” He calls out loudly, turning slightly to watch for the quiet man who spends his days on the computer behind yours.

Slowly, and adorably you might add, Hoseok’s meek face peers around the side of both his and your monitors as he stares owlishly at Taehyung beneath those outdated glasses. You’d say they were ugly, and they were, but he seemed to pull them off.

His hair is hidden today beneath a sand coloured beanie, leaving his entire face exposed and you coo softly at his tiny folded ears. It wasn’t something you’d noticed till Jimin had one day pointed over to the video editor, whispering words of adoration to you as he stared a little moon-eyed and lamented how his own ears didn’t look that cute.

It was beyond endearing, along with the slight pout his lips were pursed in. He probably hadn’t been listening to your conversation and so had no idea what was going on.

You’d noticed that Hoseok either kept an earphone in at all times or covered them with over-ear headphones when he wanted to work hard and not be disturbed. He certainly wasn’t rude but he definitely didn’t seem to be hugely confident in making conversations with people.

That didn’t stop people from trying to include him though, and you got the definite sense that everyone in the office adored Jung Hoseok and simultaneously wanted to hug him and protect him. You certainly did, and you were quite pleased that no one bullied him.

He, unfortunately, had the demeanour that would attract the attention of assholes but Seokjin and Namjoon ran a tight ship here. You did kind of wish that he got included in more outside events though.

“S-sorry. W-wh-what?” His voice is soft, the perfect mix of deep and high as he stutters out a response to Taehyung. The long sleeved shirt he’s wearing is almost salmon pink and has some generic looking cartoon on the front. It looks warm, and you find yourself lamenting the fact that you hadn’t brought a cardigan with you today.

“Spider-Man, the new one. You said to Jungkook that you’d watched it right?” There’s a moment of hesitation as Hoseok’s eyes flick to you before he’s nodding slowly. Almost immediately you grin brightly, not noticing the way that Hoseok pauses with his breath caught before his shoulders shift up to his ears.

“Oh my god, wasn’t it so good? The animation is just beautiful, it makes me want to scream. Like those cityscape shots? Could easily be mistaken for a photo if you just showed someone it. And the perfect blending of the different art styles of the Spider-People and god the music was so good. Miles is amazing and if it doesn’t win then I’m gonna Hulk out,” You pause and look at Taehyung who’s smirking in amusement. “Seriously, I don’t even know how to describe the animation. Think 3D...but not. You get me, right Hoseok?”

Hoseok’s eyes go astonishingly wide once more as you question and his mouth opens and closes a few times as he struggles to find an answer for you. He just settles for nodding quickly, reaching up to pull his beanie off and sort out his hair.

The chestnut locks have gone a bit wild under his hat and you have to bite your lip to stop laughing at how it goes all over the place, though another part of you wants to aww at how cute he looks.

“One day Hoseok, one day I’ll get you to spout poetic bullshit about a film you love.” You tease lightly, tapping at your gel wrist rest that lays alongside your keyboard to ease the pressure on your wrists as you type. He swallows audibly, causing you to laugh out loud while Taehyung chuckles and shakes his head.

“Hoseok has fucking terrible film taste. He thinks Batman v Superman was actually good.” Jungkook calls out and you turn to look at the graphic designer. He’s reclining in his chair, hands over his stomach with an ankle hooked over his knee while he observes the scene on the other side of the office.

Jimin is in the exact same position behind him while he nods his head sagely and you gasp in horror, a hand to your chest as you look back at Hoseok. “Say it isn’t so Hoseok.”

The man in question looks like he wants to sink through the floor as he gives a meagre shrug. Your wail of horror has him cringing while everyone else in the office sniggers and Taehyung pats your back in consolation.

“This can’t be. Why? Is it because your mom is named Martha too?” Jungkook lets out a bark of laughter at that while Jimin creases, folding over in his chair as his forehead rests against his knees from the force of his laugh.

Hoseok attempts to speak a few more times before he frowns deeply, taking a deep breath and shaking his head. “N-no. That was d-d-dumb. I just like Batman. I-i-it’s not my favourite f-f-film but it’s not terrible.”

You lean back and stare at him, raising a brow slowly as you narrow at your eyes at him. “What is your favourite film then?”

This is probably the most you’ve talked to Hoseok in the whole three months about non-job related work. You’re actually surprised he’s engaging this far, and you study him closely to make sure he doesn’t look uncomfortable or unhappy. The last thing you want is him to get upset.

But he doesn’t back down from your question, instead staring at something on his desk intently before looking back at you. You almost lean back in reaction, the intensity of his gaze far stronger than you’d expected and you’re surprised to feel a slight stirring of sexual lust for him. While you’d always acknowledge he was handsome - wasn’t everyone in this place? - you’d never quite seen Hoseok in a ‘oh holy cow’ light until right now.

“I-I-I don’t have one. B-b-but I like Jurassic Park and Blade Runner. And the Godfather. Oh, and Big Hero 6.” He adds as an afterthought, and you feel oddly proud that he didn’t stutter throughout the rest of the conversation. It was obviously just a nerves thing, but you kind of hope that he’ll get a bit bolder if you keep trying with him.

“Good choices. Solid. Not pretentious like the avant garde master here. He probably watches his porn in French black and white too.” A casual thumb thrown in Taehyung’s direction gets you the finger in response.

“It’s black and white softcore German, you heathen. No one does the group sex quite as good. The camera angles when there’s so many bodies.” He kisses the tips of his fingers before blowing them in the air, causing you to stare at him with a slightly grossed out face.

Looking at Jimin, you shake your head. “You know, I’ve only known the two of you for three months now. But I can easily see how you started dating. You with your weird music and books and Taehyung with your pretentious films.”

Taehyung gasps theatrically before smiling, fully aware that you’re joking around with him. Jimin on the other hand, snorts loudly and sticks his tongue out at you. “Hey, there’s nothing weird about my music choices. And what the hell. You’ve been listening to Billie Eilish non-stop lately according to your Spotify. And while she’s incredibly talented, I wish she’d lighten up a little.”

Turning to look at the cotton candy haired guy, though his hair was mostly hidden today by a black ball cap, you raise an eyebrow slowly. “Firstly, don’t insult Billie like that! Her songs are beautiful and soothe my soul. And also, this coming from the guy who listens to Morrissey. Unironically, I might add. Your opinion is invalid in this conversation.”

“...You know what. I can't even argue that. You right.” Jimin shrugs in defeat and sits back while Taehyung makes consoling noises at his boyfriend from his seat.

The delicate snort from behind your monitor makes your eyes widen, causing you to shift over slightly to watch Hoseok as he giggles. His white teeth peek out at you as he bites on his lower lip to try and contain his laugh.

And from how pretty and sweet it sounded, you wish he wouldn’t. The soft noises he lets out are oddly infectious, causing you to laugh in turn with a pretty dopey expression on your face and making you completely oblivious to the sly look Jimin and Taehyung are sharing.

“You love Imagine Dragons too, right? Hoseok listens to them all the time.” Taehyung says helpfully, gesturing with his chin towards the man behind your monitor.

Spinning back, you look at Hoseok with a happy grin and clap your hands together excitedly. “Oh my god, yes! I’m in love with Bad Liar right now, and Zero is so fun. I think Jimin keeps laughing at me for dancing in my seat.”

Hoseok doesn’t respond to you properly though, just nodding his head and smiling slightly as you playfully glare at the slim man across the office.

“On the subject of dating though...Hoseok. Have you ever had a girlfriend before? Or boyfriend, if that’s your thing.” Jimin asks, his tone not even slightly sly and you look at him in surprise. If he was trying to not be obvious, then he was being about as subtle as the Seattle Space Needle. Surely they’d already know this right?

As far as you’ve gathered, Jimin has been at Poppin’ Culture for four years and Taehyung for three. The two had started dating two years ago and despite your teasing, you were already confident that they were two of the cutest couples you’d ever seen.

Hoseok though, had apparently been with the company for years. He’d gone to college with Namjoon, Chaeyoung and Seokjin and had a film production degree. Namjoon had started Poppin’ Culture when he was 19, in his second year, and Hoseok had come on board once they’d branched out to a YouTube channel.

Still, you’re surprised by the way Hoseok’s cheeks go bright red and his eyes dart to you for a moment before he’s looking down at his desk once more. A wet tongue peeks out of his mouth quickly as he licks along his lips to wetten them, coughing to clear his throat before he’s looking back up at Jimin with a frown.

“Would you like the name of my e-e-ex-girlfriend? I’m s-s-socially awkward, not inept.” You suck your lower lip between your teeth as you look at Jimin with a ‘wtf’ look. As nice as he was, he was a bit blunt and you felt that situation could have probably done with a little more tactful handling. Hoseok looked like he could fry an egg on his cheeks and Jimin winces at the glare both Taehyung and you give him.

“Sorry man. I was out of line. I didn’t mean to insult you.” The apology is sincere in tone, with Jimin ducking his head and turning back to his work. You watch carefully as Hoseok eyes the younger man before letting out a quiet sigh and nodding his acceptance.

The atmosphere is slightly awkward now, and you’re desperate to make Hoseok less uncomfortable which is why you find yourself blurting out words you immediately want to swallow back up. “If it makes you feel any better, I’ve not had a boyfriend since I was 20 and I’ve not been laid in four years.”

Almost immediately your hand is slapping over your mouth as your eyes widen in horror, apologies falling from your lips like honey as your cheeks burn with embarrassment.

Not only are Hoseok’s eyes resembling dinner plates, his jaw dropped open in shock, but so is just about everyone else’s in the office. Well, that’s certainly one way to make him feel better about himself you guess.

“I’m sorry for your loss. Everyone, we need to be careful with her. She’s going through some tough times. Only 26 and already looking at a life of non-sexual fulfilment.” Taehyung drones deeply, his voice faux-sincere and you glare at him while pushing his hand off your shoulder.

“I will delete your folder of obscure foreign films.” You hiss at him through narrowed eyes, causing him to burst out into laughter as his hand slaps his thigh in amusement.

“Oh god, you crack me up. I need to thank Seokjin for hiring you, seriously. God, get on with your Spider-Man boner before you accidentally reveal something else way too intimate for the workplace to know.” He snorts before rolling back to his own desk. The office thankfully goes back to normal after that, the low level of chatter competing with the soft sounds of today’s playlist.

Looking at your screen, you’re distracted momentarily by the sight of Hoseok still in view just around your monitor. He’s looking at you in that way people do when they’ve checked out, their brains focused on something else entirely and you watch him back in amusement until he realises.

Almost immediately he cringes, bowing his head slightly and giving an uncomfortable smile before sliding back out of view. Smiling, you shake your head and pop your headphones back into your ears as you get back to work.

You’re oddly pleased to see Hoseok stand up for himself bluntly, and you remind yourself not to baby him. He’s a grown man after all, older than you.

The flashing of your phone lets you see that you’ve got a new notification from Facebook, and you roll your eyes as you click on your screen to see what it is. What you see however has you slowly smiling as a flutter of butterflies take flight in your stomach and you tap accept eagerly.

You have a new friend request: Jung Hoseok

The next few weeks roll by quickly with Taehyung and you becoming inundated with awards season nominations, ceremonies and just general Oscar bait films. It had even resulted in a whole ‘Top 10 Oscar Bait Films’ video on the Poppin’ Culture Film YouTube channel which had proven remarkably popular, even spawning a sequel that was generated purely from user comments.

You’re actually surprised with just how much you continue to love your job, even with the sheer pressure of blog and video deadlines constantly breathing down your neck. And it doesn’t take you long to realise that it’s because of the people you work with who make working that overtime all the more sweeter.

Jimin is genuinely hilarious and when paired up with Jungkook he becomes hysterical. Lisa has easily become your female work best friend, with the two of you Skyping all the time on your work computers and soon venturing out into the world to go to dinners, concerts and the cinema while Taehyung is an incredibly hard working colleague who always keeps a close on eye on how you’re doing.

It’s genuinely one of the best places you’ve ever worked and you thank all your lucky stars that you’d been accepted because you were pretty sure that you were making some of the closest friends you could.

And then there was Hoseok.

Jung Hoseok still remained a mystery to you and you weren’t entirely sure why you so desperately wanted to figure him out. Or maybe not figure him out, because you kind of liked how shy and mysterious he is.

The rest of your colleagues have been pretty open books and you were pretty sure that you were on the verge of receiving daily updates on Jimin and Taehyung’s sex life - you were that close with the two. But you still knew almost nothing about Hoseok and it drove you wild.

What was even more annoying was the fact that only you were apparently bothered by it too. The others just shrugged and said that he’d always been quiet and introverted, so they just made it clear to him that they were there if he wanted to talk or make friends with them. Apparently he never went out on the workplace socials and he rarely talked to others via text or Skype.

Which kind of infuriated you, because it probably was true that Hoseok preferred to be alone and lost in his world of music. But there must be something horribly isolating about never getting invited to things or never being included, which is why you kept trying to include him in your own conversations. The others would sometimes talk around him, but you always tried to make sure that he felt comfortable and included in your conversations.

Taehyung had honestly admitted in a meeting that he wasn’t entirely sure why you kept asking Hoseok things, pointing out that you might be annoying him. But you’d countered with the fact that you always gave Hoseok plenty of options to slip out of the conversation, yet he would continue it on sometimes.

It had been then that Taehyung had flushed a pretty golden pink, nodding his head as he acknowledged the fact that Hoseok had opened up more in the last few months of you being here than in the years he’d been here. That on its own had made your heart hurt. No one could enjoy being so easily disregarded, no matter how quiet and introverted.

Currently though, you were slouched on your couch with your best friend, Sunmi, as you both ate pepperoni pizza while watching Avengers: Infinity War for the bajillionth time. You, because you just loved the film, and her because she really loved Chris Hemsworth.

Honestly? Mood.

“I swear, this is the most badass entry scene of any entry scene in all of film,” You blurt out randomly, lifting your fist as Thor appears on screen in the middle of the battlefield and shouting out alongside him. “Bring. Me. Thanos!”

Sunmi snorts elegantly from your side, taking a bite of greasy pizza and chewing slowly while she eyes up her fictional man with pleasure. A hum of delight leaves her when Thor meets up with Captain America and you laugh, poking at her side.

“Imagine being in a Chris sandwich.” She looks at you and wiggles her carefully put together eyebrows before giggling.

“I wish. God, they can wreck me any day. You know, I can’t believe that you get to watch stuff like this and then write about it or make a video about it. Why can’t I just laze around and do that? Do they have an opening for me?” She pouts at you, placing the crust back in the box before wrapping her hands around your wrist and playfully whining.

You laugh loudly and take a bite of your own slice. “For what? Sorry Elle Woods, but you’re going to have keep your bending and snapping for the judge and jury. I doubt Poppin’ Culture - The Law Version will be very popular.”

“What about if I wear a hot pink bikini?” She says seriously, her face carefully blank as you give her a droll stare.

“Yeah sure, lemme give PornHub a call. I’m sure they’ve got a whole audience just waiting for their law lectures from Bikini Girl 3.” Sunmi shrieks with laughter at that, rolling backwards until her head is hitting the arm of the sofa and relaxing into the pile of cushions there.

Reaching her foot up, she prods at your thigh annoyingly until you push her away with a sigh.

“So, how is your work though? You’ve been spending a lot of time there. Which, by the way, is ridiculous. I only spend extra time doing work if I’m getting paid for it because I do not enjoy my job that much.” Sunmi sighs heavily, letting her arms fall behind her head as she turns her gaze back to your large television screen.

“Okay firstly, it was your decision to take a law degree. Your parents are assholes but they’re not dickish. They would have been fine with you being a doctor instead. Secondly, you make so much money an hour that you shouldn’t complain. You can literally buy a pair of Jimmy Choos with an hour.” Closing the pizza box, you lean forward and place it onto your wooden coffee table before leaning back and patting your stomach affectionately.

“Firstly you bitchass, I don’t make a lot because I’m still not fully qualified yet. It costs a lot to be a lawyer and the work is boring because I’m in property law. Yawn. Secondly, I hate property law but I would’ve passed out being a doctor. Blood and snot? No thanks. Maybe I should just give it all up and go back to college to become an artist.” She says dreamily and you look over at her with a raised brow.

“Do it. If it’s what you want. Your life shouldn’t be made on a decision you did based on what your parents wanted for you, as much as you might want to make them happy. They’re not your life, and you’ll burn out quicker if you do something you hate.” Sunmi just hums before shifting the pillows until she’s looking at you.

“Still. It’s nice that you’re enjoying it. I’m happy for you. I need to meet this Lisa, so you better set up a playdate or something. If she’s banging, I may just bang her. I mean, if you’re alright with that. And she likes girls.” Sunmi wiggles her brow and you laugh, shaking your head slowly.

“I think Lisa swings both ways honestly, so go for it. She’s pretty and cute with a really nice and fun personality. I wish I could introduce you to Jimin and Taehyung as well. They’re funny individually but hilarious together. Urgh, I wish I had someone the way Jimin eyefucks Tae across the room.”

“Does he realise you can see that?” She asks, an incredulous look on her face and you nod with a laugh.

“Oh yeah. He just gives me an innocent smile. They’re fun though and make me laugh, it’s like a family.” You sigh softly, slumping down further into the couch pillow. Sunmi’s quiet for a few seconds before speaking again.

“What about that quiet guy? Hoseok right?” Pausing, you chew on your lip as you stare blankly at the screen and wonder how to describe him to her.

“Hoseok...is sweet. Quiet but sweet. He doesn’t get involved in conversations of his own accord still, but I include him and he’ll get more involved now. We even have whole conversations just him and I, particularly about our love of 80s films though they’re not very long conversations. It’s nice, I’m literally watching him become more integrated and it’s kind of annoying that everyone just let him stagnate in his isolation. Like, seriously. Did no one ever think that maybe he doesn’t get involved because people have let him isolate himself? It’s hard to pull yourself out of that, and he’s obviously trying.” You don’t even realise you’re half ranting until you see Sunmi’s bemused smile, causing your cheeks to heat.

“Anyway, yeah. He’s a lot more caring than people think too. He just doesn’t show it in ways that you or I would, nor does he talk about them. Like...the other week I came in one morning to find a tube of dissolvable vitamin C tablets on my desk. When I asked where they’d come from, Hoseok Skyped me and said that he thought I looked like I was lacking a bit of vitamin C and to take one with water every day. And then when I was feeling a bit tired, he made me a cup of green tea. I swear Sunmi, he was so sweet and adorable because he kept stumbling over his words while telling me that green tea was healthy and rejuvenating but he didn’t like the taste so he always has peppermint and he hoped I liked peppermint too.”

Sunmi says nothing for a moment and you look at her in confusion, wondering why she’s suddenly decided to be quiet. It’s not like her to not get involved in your conversations, only she’s staring at you with wide eyes and a pretty mouth that’s fallen open.

“Oh my god. You like him.” Her words cause you to pause, frowning immediately as you shake your head in denial.

“What? No I don’t. I mean, yeah as a friend. Or I hope as a friend, but not anything more than that.” She lets out a peal of high pitched laughter while sitting up, looking closely at your face with those mahogany eyes of hers.

“Yes, you do. Oh my god, he is not even remotely your type from the sounds of it yet you’re falling hard girl. Show me a picture of him.” You want to keep denying her, mind spinning from what she’s come out with as you wonder where she’s got this impression from.

But once Sunmi has made up her mind, then it’s game over for everyone else. Sure enough, you find yourself scrolling through your phone on Facebook to find a nice picture of him to show her. And as you look through his, admittedly few, profile pictures, you pause for a moment as you realise that maybe she’s right.

Only people who like someone try and find the best looking picture of them, too afraid that their friend or family member will laugh and think their crush ugly. The swooping sensation in your stomach is confusing, and you don’t know whether it’s shy excitement or just plain old nausea.

Finally deciding on a picture of Hoseok that has obviously been taken in a coffee shop, you turn the phone screen so she can see. It’s got dim lighting, and has looks to have been taken on a Polaroid style camera from the style of it but he looks good.

In fact, he looks beautiful and his bright smile kind of takes your breath away.

He’s just wearing a plain white, long sleeved shirt with dark brown hair parted in the centre, the strands laying carelessly on his forehead while those beautiful chocolate eyes stare out from behind the lenses of his glasses. The table blocks anymore view of him and yet you can’t help but feel the fluttering in your stomach slowly spread along your veins.

Hoseok’s smiles are still rare, but they’ve slowly been becoming more frequent as you continue to talk to him. And every time you think he should smile more often, because he has a face that’s made for a smile.

His mouth is stretched wide with perfectly white, straight teeth showing and the force of the expression causes his eyes to narrow, soft tan cheeks looking adorably kissable.

Oh, you’re totally fucked.

“Holy shit…are you kidding me? This is Quiet Guy? Shy Guy? Holy fuck girl. He’s gorgeous! Look at that smile, oh my god. And he has such pretty eyes, that’s just not fair. Oh, please go for him. I know I said that he’s not your type because you normally like either those hipster guys or bad boys but he looks like he’d be so good for you. He looks kind, like you’d call him and say you’re sick and he comes right over to make you food and wraps you up in a blanket before cuddling with you, telling you that you need body heat to stay warm.” You look at her with a raised brow as she takes your phone and scrolls through his photos.

“And he obviously likes you.” Her words throw you then, causing you to frown as you stare before finally asking why she thinks.

“Because you said it yourself. He talks to you, even when he doesn’t talk to the others. You’ve said he keeps conversations going with you. He added you on Facebook first and he’s taking care of you in a weird but cute way of flirting. Like I said, he looks like he’d be a good boyfriend because he’s already trying to make sure you’re healthy and okay.”

She hands your phone back and points at the screen, where a new photo of Hoseok is. It’s not from his profile pictures, so you just presume it’s one that someone took of him and tagged him in. He’s asleep on his side on a couch, his right cheek smooshed into a pillow while his other looks soft and round. Pink lips pout in his sleep, the ends turned up while his lashes remain firmly closed and his hair is all over the place.

You have the strongest urge to reach through the screen to kiss his cheek.

“I think you should think on it, because I know you. And you’re probably having a little internal argument right now about whether or not you like him. But...if you decide that you do. Then I think you should go for it, because he looks nice. Get to know him a bit more, get him to open up his walls to you a bit more and then see if he really is interested. It’s been a while since you smiled like that about someone, and even longer since you searched through their pictures to find me the most flattering.” Dammit, you knew she’d figure you out.

You don’t respond though, simply locking your phone and placing it down on the cushion next to you as you both turn your attention back to the film. But you can’t help the what if’s that float around in the back of your mind, wondering if perhaps she’s right not only about yourself, but also him.

Did Hoseok like you?

Quite understandably, your interactions with Hoseok are suddenly tinged with a film of awkwardness as you contemplate the fact that you quite possibly like your shy colleague. And that’s to say nothing of how closely you watch his interactions with you to see if there’s a chance that he likes you in the way you like him.

Honestly, anyone would think you were 14 and not 26.

But he made you feel like a teenager though. The fluttering of nervous excitement in your stomach whenever he would look at you with that soft, bashful smile he’d give you whenever he caught your eye in the office. The way you would feel sad resentment when he was ill or was working from home and so didn’t come in.

How could you not though? Not only was he soul wrenchingly handsome and pretty, he was also thoughtful with the few conversations he would engage in and he was so sweet and kind.

When you’d complimented him on the peppermint green tea he’d brought you the other week, you found yourself with a mug being made every time he got up to go to the kitchen. You’d be completely absorbed in your work, staring at your screen intently with headphones in to keep distractions at bay, when you’d suddenly smell the pleasant scent of peppermint drifting to your nose.

And then you’d look to your side and see a fresh cup of tea sat there, steaming slowly in your Star Wars mug.

A quick glance behind your screen would let you see Hoseok staring firmly at his screen, refusing to look at you and yet his cheeks tinging a rosy glow that made your heart tug. It was only fair to respond in kind, and so you’d taken to making him a cup of your favourite tea as well, delicious salted caramel, and leaving it on his desk.

He hadn’t complained, so you took that as a sign that he enjoyed it too.

Maybe others would look at your interactions with laughter or bemusement, but you liked them. If he was flirting with you, because let’s face it you were flirting with him, then you were quietly excited and hopeful. You could cope with glacial, as long as it would hopefully result in something at the end.

Currently, you were attempting to film a video talking about the films that were snubbed completely at the Oscars. Taehyung had written up the script for you but was suffering from a winter cold at home. You’d claim man-flu, only you’d video called him and seen the dark circles under his eyes, sallow skin and bright red nose as he’d sniffled and snorted his way through your conversation.

As a result, you’d had to grab your emergency make-up kit from your drawer and rush to the bathroom to apply it. Today had been a lazy day; meaning you were just wearing a pair of ratty black jeans and an ancient Star Wars shirt that had once been black but was now an odd shade of grey.

Once you’d felt that you looked at the very least passable to the potentially thousands upon thousands of people who would be watching your face, you rush back through the office to place your kit back before heading over to the recording room. Tapping on the door lightly, you open it up to find Hoseok and Lisa inside as they set up the camera and lighting.

Already, the big ring lights are glaring and you’re feeling hot as you move over to the two, watching as they mess with the camera before checking over the computer on the desk next to it. Lisa moves around to the front, standing over the duct tape X on the floor and clipping the tiny microphone onto her shirt while waiting for Hoseok.

He’s wearing a plain white shirt today with a yellow and black check shirt open over the top and a plain pair of jeans. For some reason, he’s apparently decided to emulate Jungkook and is wearing some tan Timberland’s as well, though they surprisingly work well with the outfit.

You’ve noticed that Hoseok isn’t exactly the most fashionable person, but he’s yet to wear something that you find genuinely offensive. In fact, you often find that he manages to look hot even when he really shouldn’t. Maybe it’s just a talent attractive people have?

Hoseok gives a small nod to Lisa as his eyes flicker up from the screen, the light being reflected in his glasses. Lisa begins to talk random nonsense, performing a soundcheck to make sure the microphone is working properly while also making sure the camera’s fine.

Once done, she helps you to thread the microphone through your shirt and clip it on while placing the main pack into your back pocket. You stand on the X while going over the script that you can read on the screen reader facing you on the table.

Lisa slips away while you’re busy practicing, going through quick vocal exercises to warm your voice up as you continue to read over what you’re going to say. In your mind, you’re already visualising what the video will look like and you kind of feel sad that Taehyung can’t do this. It’s a good script.

“Okay. Are you ready?” Hoseok’s voice is soft and light, every word sounding like it has been cautiously thought of before he speaks it. You smile slightly as your head nods forward in response to him before clearing your throat and clenching your hands a few times while letting out a deep breath.

“Am I in the right place?” Looking down at the floor, you make sure that your feet are squarely on the spot and Hoseok looks through the camera before giving a cute okay symbol with a wink and pressed smile. It causes you to bite your own lower lip, desperately keeping inside the ‘cute’ that wants to escape.

“Okay, recording in three...two…” He stops speaking after that and mouths out the final one before pressing the button to record, a red light sparking to life on the camera and immediately you’re smiling brightly.

There’s no real pressure on you to do a good take in one shot, because Hoseok will be editing the scenes together and making some shorter to suit the video anyway. But you don’t really like wasting unnecessary hard drive space for him if possible. Plus, it just means he has to stare at your foolish facial expressions for longer and you’d really rather not.

On that note, it’s a little unfair that he gets to watch your face up close with a 4K camera. Actually, you’ve never thought about that before and almost immediately your brows crease at the thought of him seeing every pore and blemish on your skin. Christ, the camera does not do anyone justice and you want to whine at the thought of him seeing all your bad points in such harsh lighting.

When you don’t actually start speaking and instead start making a distressed face, Hoseok’s head peeks out from behind the monitor and he frowns at you in turn. Eyes focusing on his pretty visage, you have to squint slightly to see him properly from behind the astonishingly bright lights set up but you shake your head to reassure him.

Rolling your head on your shoulders and blowing bubbles with your lips, completely unaware of the tiny amused smile on Hoseok’s lips as he watches you through the monitor, you force yourself to get back into the zone.

The rest of the hour spent recording goes more or less like usual, with multiple outtakes when you mess things up and cause yourself to laugh. One of the hardest things of recording videos is just being able to being able to speak properly. You’ve had to learn to over-enunciate sometimes to avoid slurring your words together, because that just encourages hate from viewers.

And you are not in the mood to get hate. It’s already hard enough being a female commentator on the channel, and you’d had to grow some pretty thick skin in both the comments and on your own social media.

But there were plenty of equally great people too in fairness, and you’d even kind of got to know some regular viewers from the constant interactions you got both on your videos and on your own Twitter account. It was nice to have a mini fan club of people who were willing to defend you against the trolls and raise you up when you’re feeling down, though it’s not nearly as many as Taehyung’s extortionately big legion of fans.

There’s only a few major mishaps this time, with a few pronunciations of your words going horrifically bad and you find yourself cringing. Hoseok has a good chuckle on occasion and the bright bubbles of his laughter make you smile in turn, heart sparking with happiness at making him laugh.

Once Hoseok gave the signal to indicate that he was pretty happy with the recording, you let your shoulders drop while your head falls back on your shoulders, a deep groan leaving you as your entire body relaxes. Reaching to pull the microphone and its pack from under your shirt, you move over to Hoseok as he turns the light and camera off before he’s checking over the computer to transfer the new video files to his solid state drive.

“Did everything look good in it?” You ask, leaning your hip against the desk while your arms cross over your chest. Hoseok pauses for a moment at your close proximity before looking up at you slowly, his beautiful brown eyes looking sweetly innocent and big as he takes you in.

It’s still ridiculously endearing how shy he gets around you, but what you like even more is how it’s only when he’s not doing work related things. The last hour has been spent with him practically bossing you around, barking out polite requests when you’ve moved out of frame or have said something wrong.

He wasn’t mean about it or anything, he just took his job very seriously and it’s what made him such a damn good videographer and video editor. He knew what he needed and wasn’t afraid to tell people what to do in regards to that, so the sudden reversal back into the meek Hoseok tugged at your heart.

“Y-yeah. You did good. Less bad shots today.” You pout at him theatrically before pushing lightly at his shoulder, just enough to make him rock where he stands.

“Hey! There’s no need to be mean. You make it sound like I’m as bad Yugyeom! I don’t mess up that bad.” Lower lip sticking out, you look down at the floor until Hoseok lets out a soft and breathy laugh, shaking his head while adjusting his glasses slightly.

“I-I didn’t mean-. I’m not saying anything else,” He looks at you and gives you a wry smile. “I-I’m not stupid. I think I’ve dug enough of my own grave here.”

You can’t help but laugh out at that as you lean forward, body moving of its own accord before you move around him and rest your hand on his shoulder. It’s warm and solid beneath your palm, even through the layers he’s wearing and you swallow in sudden awareness of the firmness of him.

He freezes in place subtly as well, the muscles under your fingers tensing a little as neither of you move for a moment. It’s the first time you’ve ever touched him, and neither of you really seem to know what to do.

Swallowing, you let out a chuckle that’s a little higher pitched than you perhaps intended but you try to make it sound as natural as you can. Even if you’re feeling a little overwhelmed now when your hand feels warm and bizarrely sweaty.

“Funny, you’re way funnier than I thought Hobi!” The nickname you’d overheard Seokjin calling him once slips out without meaning to and you cringe with gritted teeth behind his back, taking your hand off his shoulder to pinch your leg at your stupidity. “Well, I hope it goes well. Let me know if there’s anything you need from me or just when it’s done so I can look it over? Thanks and bye!”

You can’t stop how fast the words fall from your lips, a faucet stuck on full when what you really want is a vault so tight not even the crown jewels of England can get out of it. Giving him an awkward smile, you book it out of the recording room as quickly as you can and leave him alone.

In fact, you go so fast that you don’t get to see the way Hoseok watches after you with widened eyes of shock which soon melt into half-moons of unguarded happiness in the quiet room. His hand shakes as it moves up to press at the place your own hand had been, the skin feeling prickly underneath and his breath shakes as a hesitant smile slowly paints its way on his face.

You don’t see that, nor do you see the way he pauses on a close up of your face with a fond smile before closing the programme down and leaving.

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aspaceformyselffics09 · 5 years

Text

Pied piper - Final

A/N: So, the ending here might feel a bit rushed, sorry about that. I was actually really stuck with how to give it a proper closing. But towards the end, I may have come up with something that could work. No, honestly, I don’t really know what I wrote. I hope you all enjoy it anyway :DD

Summary: After getting spell bounded by your voice, Jungkook begins to frequent the cafe where you worked at. But when his friends, the cafe owners Jimin and Yoongi urge him to talk to you, how will things spiral out?

Pairing: Jungkook x reader (ft. Jimin and Yoongi)

Genre: Fluff, AU

Warnings: none

Word count: 3.5 k

Read part 1 here

Time moved strangely. Well, stranger than it usually did. Jungkook was sitting in a bus, his hands fiddling around with his phone. Occasionally, stealing glances at his watch. Barely a minute had passed since he last checked. Time was indeed moving strangely. Or is this just a sign of his growing impatience? Sighing to himself, he looked out the window. It was a clear evening outside, the dense cloud cover that hung around until the afternoon seemed to have magically dissipated. Jungkook was thankful for that, like very thankful. He was half worried you’d have to cancel on your “meet up” due to the weather. Soon, the sun began to set and dusk cast its spell over the city.

“Guess I got lucky,” he told Jimin over the phone, the night before, to which the other just hummed.

“I told you, she wasn’t going to reject you kook,” He said.

“This isn’t a date hyung,” Jungkook whimpered, dramatically falling into his couch, “I just helped her and she agreed to come along as a thank you. That’s all.”

“Let me take you out on a date”, Jimin sneered over the phone which makes Jungkook turn around on his couch and flop his face into the pillows, “Isn’t that what you’ve said?” He laughs.

If technology allowed him, Jeonguk would definitely like to grab Jimin’s neck through the phone and strangle it.

One more stop before he reaches the decided place. He runs a hand through his hair, checks his reflection on his phone and falls back into his seat. He can’t seem to believe that he was about to go out on a date with a girl he pined after for months and months together. It still felt unreal that you even agreed to let him take you out on one. No no no, he corrected himself, this isn’t a date. Maybe you agreed to go out with him but it doesn’t mean it’s a date. Although he said it’s a date. In his mind, girls like you (soft looking with the voice of an angel, smelling like vanilla and cinnamon) don’t go out with guys like him (lazes around on the couch all day, eats junk food and plays video games)

Denial until the last moment.

To be honest, he doesn’t even know why he’s denying it when he was the one who suggested it in the first place. Way to go Jeonguk.

Jungkook jogged his way through the vast swarm of people on the streets, into a lane that opened into a wide alley. Around him, the avenue was alive and bustling. The area sort of looked like a night market with a lot of pop up stalls and food vendors around. The air smelled like freshly baked goods and grilled meat. Jungkook liked it. For a while, he stood around looking for you. He wasn’t sure if you had reached and was about to give you a call when he spotted you, standing under a street light. You were wearing a white T - shirt with blue stripes, sleeves so large that your fingers almost disappeared at it’s tips, a ripped jeans, and a big red scarf wound around your neck. Hung behind your back was what looked like a guitar case. Your eyes were darting all around the place, maybe a bit lost. Your hair left free was stumbling over your face. Every now and then, you tucked a stray hair behind your ear but it came loose anyway.

Shit.

That was all Jungkook could think.

Shit.

You looked absolutely beautiful standing under the light.

Shit.

Jungkook felt his heart contract in his chest.

Shit.

Jungkook was done for.

Rapidly shaking his head, Jungkook trotted over. Halting a step behind you, he tapped you on your shoulder. You turned around, quivering a little at the unexpected touch. Jungkook was standing in front of you, looking as breathtaking as ever. He was wearing a white baggy t- shirt with a black leather jacket over, paired with an equally black fitting jeans and a bucket hat over his head and some boots. You blink and stare at him for longer than a moment. Your eyes travelling all over him. His big doe eyes staring into your own. Somewhere in your chest you could feel your heart squeeze.

“Hey” Jungkook says, not quite sure what to say. He then points to your guitar case, “You play a guitar”.

It was more of a statement than a question.

“Oh,” Your eyes flicker at him and then at the guitar case hung on your shoulder, “yeah, I do.”

“I hope you don’t mind that I brought it along,'' You added, “I just got done with my lessons and directly came over here.”

“Oh no no,'' he says, waving his hands in front of him, “I just hope you’ll let me listen to it when you play”.

“Of course”, you smile at him, your eyes crinkling.

helpless.

You are walking now, through the avenue. Jungkook wasn’t quite sure where you were heading to or what you’d be doing. He was surprised when you asked him to let you decide the place, he was expecting that maybe you both would go to a restaurant or something and then leave. To be honest, he didn’t try to make his assumptions. But, this was a pleasant surprise. Jungkook loved the streets, he loved street food more.

The market was crowded, but this was expected out of a weekend. Around you, smells drifted and shifted, the area here is much warmer compared to before. The number of stalls and the crowd grew inconsistent and louder. People scurried past each other, one shoulder bumping into another. The path way was so narrow amidst the hive of activity that Jungkook and you couldn’t help but get pressed against each other’s side as you walked. Jungkook turned his head, gauging your expression, feeling a bit bashful. You weren’t looking at him, your eyes were fixed on the path ahead of you, but despite all this, there was a faint coat of pink on your cheeks. And Jungkook wasn’t sure if it was because of the cold or because of him. He wished it was because of him.

“Here” You stop abruptly. Jungkook taken off guard bumps into you.

It was a small ramen house seated amidst the number of stalls that littered the area. It didn’t look like something that started recently, but had an authentic Japanese feel to it. There were elaborate paintings decorating the sliding doors, several low tables were scattered across the floor and lanterns hung like stars on the ceiling. Throngs of people kept pouring in and out of it. To Jungkook it felt like a place straight out of an old folk tale. It was entrancing.

Upon stepping inside, you were guided to a small cubicle at the farthest corner of the house. It was good because it gave you some privacy.

“This belongs to a friend of mine,” You say sitting from across him, settling your guitar down next to you, leaning it against the wall, “but, I’ll bet you my entire guitar that the ramen here is amazing!”

Jungkook chuckles at that, “I can’t wait to find out.”

You both lazily flip through the menu, chatting a bit here and there but the awkwardness between you still present and felt.

“Found anything you like?” A familiar voice hovers above them and Jungkook looks up. His mouth drops open. Yoongi.

From across him, you order a Miso ramen without batting an eyelash and Jungkook stares at you baffled. After taking your order, Yoongi turns to him.

“What about you?” he asks him, no change or whatsoever in his expression. Jungkook rigorously shakes his head and dives back into the menu. He orders a Shoyu Ramen. A last minute panic decision. Yoongi nods, scribbles on the small notebook he’s carrying around and looks at them again. Jungkook is still staring, his mouth wide open.

“What?” he asks him confused.

“What’re you doing here?!” Jungkook manages to squeak out.

“Oh,” Yoongi says pointing towards the counter, “I’m just helping out for tonight, a friend of mine owns this place”.

Jungkook and You follow the direction in which Yoongi was pointing at. A tall guy with broad shoulders and an undeniably handsome face was waving at your group. You enthusiastically wave back, a small but bright smile on your face. But that was soon cut short because a group of people crowded around him and ushered him away.

“Oh, that’s my friend,” You say, giggling a little.

Jungkook’s mouth clamps shut. This has to be the whole universe scheming against him.

And when he doesn’t say anything any further, Yoongi remarks, “I see that you finally worked up some courage,” a hint of a smile was playing on his lips, “Not bad, Kook, not bad.”

With eyes widening and panic striking, Jungkook’s attention immediately snaps to you. You were staring between him and Yoongi with a quizzical expression on your face. Jungkook makes a face as if he’s warning Yoongi, “One more word”, he thinks to himself but Yoongi chooses to ignore him.

“Well, I’m just glad you decided not to run away from your feelings,” Yoongi winks at him and paddles away, leaving Jungkook mouth gapping and glaring after him.

“What’s he talking about?” You ask as soon as Yoongi was out of earshot. For a while Jungkook doesn’t say anything but his ears were burning red. Well, thank you Yoongi.

And thankfully you don’t probe any further either. But the awkwardness at the table seemed to have spiked up a notch higher than before or this could just be Jungkook panicking. Clearing your throat, you reached out to the glass of water in front of you, the sametime as Jungkook. Both your faces turn pink and you retract your hands almost immediately. Gosh, this is soooo awkward! Jungkook winces internally wondering if you’re actually hating how the whole thing was going so far. He wouldn’t be surprised if you gave him an excuse and left as soon as you’re done with the meal.

This is a disaster.

And then, a distinct melody filled his ear. He looks up. You were humming, your eyes closed. Jungkook’s nerves settle down.

“You have a beautiful voice,” he says, his eyes softly gazing at you.

“Thank you,” You nod at him, smiling, your eyes cracking open enough for you to see him.

“I’ve always watched you sing,” he adds without thinking, his mind coming to an abrupt halt, “I mean listened to you sing, I love your voice.”

You don’t say anything but continue to hum, the smile on your face widening. Jungkook thinks he can watch you smile all day long.

“Did you always liked music?” He asks, a soft smile on his face..

“Yes!” You pipe up, your eyes shining and face glowing, “I’ve always loved music ever since I can remember.”

You’re not a person who says much, Jungkook finds out. But when it comes to talking about music, your eyes sparkle and you talk. A lot. You tell him the story of how you came all the way from a small town, somewhere from y/c/n, moved to Korea, to study under your aunt who’s a medic. But you don’t really enjoy it, since it was something formerly decided by your family. Jungkook feels bad for the kind of situation you were in but also learns that, you’ve been considering ditching it and continuing to pursue music full time.

“Meeting Jimin and Yoongi and performing at their cafe was an awakening for me,'' You tell him, “It made me discover how much I enjoy it. How it fulfills me in a way anything else can’t.”

In turn Jungkook tells you about how he’s an art major, how he loved to paint ever since he was a kid. How he had to struggle for about four years fighting with his parents to let him choose his own career and finally how he moved to Seoul. You both understand each other this way. The struggle, the passion and the pain to keep doing what you love and chase it with all your heart. You both go along this conversation for almost an hour, your ramen comes and you finish your meal, but, you can’t stop talking. There was a point in between where both of you bickered to pay but in the end Jungkook beat you to it and told you, you could pay for something else later and winked at you. You turned beet red at that.

It feels nice you think. To be able to talk so much with someone and feeling at ease about it. It had been a while.

You’re back on the street now, walking alongside each other. Somewhere in between paying and getting out, Jungkook took hold of your guitar case and hung it over his shoulders.

“I feel cool”, he tells you, to which you giggle, “But gosh, I’ve always wanted to try playing a guitar before”.

“Why didn’t you?” You ask, looking up at him.

“Oh well,” He scratches the back of his neck, “I don’t know, I actually went to some classes you know? But gave up in between. Now the guitar just rots in my home attic. Back at Busan.”

“Why did you give up?” You ask, kicking along some pebbles on the street, playing with them.

“I don’t really know I guess,'' he chuckled, “But mostly, life happened and I got busy.”

“Understandable”, you agreed.

Behind you, the scenery shifted from the market to comparatively quieter residential streets. Somewhere along the way, you both bought some mini pancakes which you were sharing back and forth between you two. Around you, most people began to retire to their homes but you don’t stop walking. To be honest, you hardly even noticed the shift in your surroundings. No one notices the time and no one notices the place. You just keep walking, talking, playing around, blushing every time your hands brush or shoulders collide.

“Hey Jungkook,” You called, tugging on his sleeves. Jungkook turns towards you.

“You should let me see your paintings one day.”

He smiles at that. It was blinding.

“Sure, I’d love to.”

At one point though you might have taken the road to the beach. Because right now, in front of you was a vast spread of sand and waves crashing against each other. Perhaps mirroring you two. Above you, the moon is high up in the sky, shining especially bright tonight. It casted down splinters of solomon gold making the sea crests sparkle like elf light. Jungkook and you settle down on the bleachers lined up along the entrance, facing the vast body of water in front of you. A gust of cold breeze swept from across the ocean, through your hair and disappeared into the sky above. For a while no one said anything, you just stared into the ocean.

Jungkook decided he likes how the dark blue of the sky and the ocean were reflected in your eyes. And as if feeling his gaze upon you, you turn toward him. Your eyes flickering up to look into his own. The pale moonlight and a distant street lamp were reflected on his face creating stark outlines of yellow and white in contrast to the shadows that were cast upon him. The sight looked enthralling, it took your breath away. Both Jungkook and the scenery behind him and how seamlessly he seemed to blend into it.

Jungkook probably wasn’t expecting it. Even with how close you were sitting next to each other. You had no idea what possessed you to do it. You probably weren’t thinking. One second you were lost in the boy and the scenery in front of you and another second you were leaning in and pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth. A look of surprise and confusion slide across Jungkook’s face and you realize a bit too late what you’ve done. As soon as the realization dawns upon you, you do a double take and your hands fly to cover your mouth.

“Ohmygod!” You gasp, your eyes wide, panic surging through your entire body, your face tinted with the brightest of reds,“I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry! I wasn’t thinking! OHMYGOD! I’m an idiot, I fucked up! I didn’t even ask you! I’m so sorry! OHMYGOD!”

“Hey,” Jungkook calls out to you amidst your panic but you ignore him, continuing to do what you were.

“Hey y/n,” He calls again, this time, his hands found their way to your shoulders and were tightly gripping at them, “Hey y/n look at me.”

But you hardly heed his words or pay attention to him. Your hands move to cover your face. An attempt to hide yourself away. You wonder if it’s physically possible for you to melt into the floor and disappear off this world. This is so embarrassing! But before you can blink, his hands move to your wrists and he pries them open, pulling you into his space, his lips capturing you in a kiss. For a moment you find yourself unable to say anything. Stunned wasn’t even the right word. You could hardly even register what was going on. Everything comes to a standstill as you slowly melt into the kiss. The rhythm of his lips moving against yours. Like the sound of waves crashing against each other, pulling and pushing.

You sigh shakily into the kiss. At a point Jungkook does too. To you, he might look like he has everything under control. But only he knows how overwhelmed he was feeling. Overwhelmed with the fullness of your lips over his own, the quivering of your eyelashes, the soft hitch of your breath. His mind still reeling and realigning around the fact that yes he is kissing you, holding you. Yes, you’re here sitting under a sky full of stars, in front of the vastness of the sea and kissing. Maybe, a few minutes into the date Jungkook didn’t think anything would lead up to here. Honestly, this wasn’t even on his mind. But here he is, here you are. Here you both are. It wasn’t a deep kiss, nor was it rushed. It was slow, soft, feathery and burning. Somewhere in between, you move your hands to his neck, settling them around it, your body moving closer to his and his own hands land on your cheeks. A while after savouring each other, you part.

Silence.

“You okay?” Jungkook asks you after a beat, carefully scrutinizing your face, trying to look for any signs of discomfort or unease.

“Yeah,” You answer him, your breath trembling, still dazed by the sudden turn of events, “Are you okay?”

“Never better,” he chuckles, his hands still cupping your face, “Gosh, I wanted to do this for so long…”

“Me too.”

“You did?”

“You know,” You pause looking away and then added, “I saw you everyday, at the cafe. You were there every time I performed. I always saw you.”

“Yeah?” Jeonguk’s voice comes across as a breathy titter. His breath feels completely caught, trapped half way. His mind sent into a dreamy haze. He never thought you noticed him.

“Whenever I felt like I was not enough, or whenever I was losing confidence in my own voice,” You continued biting your lip, “Just noticing you among the audience, day after day, listening to the same songs everyday, over and over again. It helped me regain that confidence.”

Jungkook really didn’t know what to say. He was knocked into silence.

“How could I keep away,” He finally says, “You were mesmerizing. You were like a pied piper calling me to you. Everyday, over and over again.”

“That’s cheesy,” The giggle that escapes your chest sends goosebumps all over Jungkook’s body and he couldn’t help the inevitable smile on his face.

“But thank you,'' You added.

Finally, the initial shock fades away and you grin at each other, parting, turning yourselves to face the blue in front of you. You remain like that in silence but content.

Then it’s midnight.

You find yourselves walking back home.

“Jimin is finally going to be happy,” You say sniggering behind your fist.

“Jimin? Why?” Jungkook asks you amused.

“I’ve been eating his head off since the past couple of days,'' You say in a matter of factly tone.

“What have you been chewing him off for?”

“Well….” You trail off, trying to suppress a giggle that was trying to escape you, “I may have been bombarding him with questions in regards to a certain someone who comes by to all my performances.”

Another breath knocked right out of his windpipe. This is so unfair.

“You’re so unfair!” Jungkook exclaims, burying his face in his hands and crouching down on the floor, “So unfair!”

“Jungkook”, you poke at him, now laughing out loud, “If you continue sitting here, I’m gonna leave you behind.”

Sucking a breath back in, Jungkook lifts his head to look at you. His face adorned in a pout.

“Well”, he sighs, “That makes two of us. Jimin will be happy.”

“Jimin will be happy.”

“You’re forgetting Yoongi.”

“Yoongi too,” You giggle.

“And we are idiots.”

“That we are.”

#kwritersworldnet #btsbookclub #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook x y/n #member x reader #jungkook fluff #jungkook fanfic #jungkook scenarios #bts jungkook #bts fanfction #bts fanfic #bts au #jungkook au #kpop fluff #jeon jungkook

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yooncuffs · 4 years

Text

10 Songs You’re Obsessed with and 10 People to Tag!

These are my current favorite songs and a few songs I can’t stop listening to, you should try and listen to some of these if you haven’t(I didn’t include BTS songs because I’d have a hard time picking one or a few😂)but thanks for tagging me @sonyeonsideupsmile 💖🥰

Tomorrow by Together - 20cm

IU- Blueming

Billie Eilish- All I Ever Wanted

Arizona Zervas- Roxanne

Epik High- Eternal Sunshine

Ariana Grande- NASA

Monsta X- Someone’s Someone

EXO-CBX- Blooming Day

Ateez- Illusion

Offonoff, TABLO, Miso- Cigarette

Tagging my Tumblr buddies and faves: @laneyh23 @milkie-yoongi @btyh @btsinlondon @btaes0711 @sugaa-sugaaa @namuswife @jungkookiebus @euphoria-teal-black @bangtanlovesyou

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nako-doodles · 4 years

Note

Hey babe, any song reccs for someone who's up for a long night of coding? It's cool if the music is sad because I think the crying over code is gonna be inevitable. Also I LOVE YOU YOU WHOLESOME JIN THOT I WANT TO GIVE YOU HUGS AND SMOOCHES AND PROCRASTINATE FROM MY JOB BY SCROLLING THROUGH YOUR BLOG but i won't i actually really am a responsible adult fuck who can't say no to work ALSO TO REITERATE I LOVE YOU AND HAVE A GREAT DATE

oh boy fam long nights coding are the ABSOLUTE WORSE im so sorry bubs. I feel ur ache :( however, in the words of our cult leader min yoongi, YOU SHOULD GO AND EARN THAT MONEY!!!!!!! (I see ur sneaky pun about iterations I love you too sweet pea💖💖)

this is gonna be less mellow and more slow grind bc lets be real late night coding is really just late night grinding ft 3 pints of tears. slow bc usually if I have hard hitting club music on the entire time I get a headache, but if its too mellow I pass out 🤣🤣🤣 this playlist is split into 3 major stages of regret during late night coding so you can pick and choose what you want 👍👍

tldr; theres a little bit of everything and I hope you like it 😚

‘maybe i can get my minimum 6 hours tonight’

epik high - lullaby for a cat

sarcastic sounds - i cant help

dvwn - insomnia ft. yayyoung

magik monkey - tokyo lights

baek yerin - maybe its not our fault

rm - seoul ft. honne

gallant - weight in gold

rad museum - dancing in the rain

baek yerin - suddenly (digging club seoul vers.)

miso - take me

winner - baby baby

offonoff - 춤

gallant x eric nam x tablo - cave me in

dean - D half moon ft. gaeko

owol - why

penomeco - no. 5 ft. Crush

suran x coogie - into the abyss

chai - color you ft. sam kim

far east movement - don’t speak ft. tiffany & chain

tanaka alice - bad day so, what

flying dog - galactic mermaid

‘some (coffee) vibes darker than the night outside, and we’re getting somewhere’

j.lu - tokyo ft. nodsgn

jasmine sokko - #0000FF

hyorin - youknowbetter

bevy maco - so faded

han yo han - closer ft. stella jang

bts - save me

dress x lydia paek - emotion

kris wu - tian di

taeyeon - find me

groovyroom - this night ft. blue.d, jhnovr

coeur de pirate - drapeau blanc

apm - apro ft. k.vsh

katie - love kills

wheein - easy

baekyun - pyscho

code kunst - x ft. lee hi

heize - she’s fine

steady lake - amortentia

macklemore & ryan lewis - light tunnels ft. mike slap

lee hi - fxxk wit us ft. dok2

dean - bonnie & clyde

ladies’ code - galaxy

f(x) - shadow

owol - nuna

epik high - here comes the regrets ft. lee hi

ciara - paint it black

dean - pour up ft. zico

sleepy - body lotion

jero - delusional

‘its 5am and if theres no hard-hitting beats im gonna pass out onto my keyboard deadlines be damned’

jvna - im with you

cosmic girl - don’t you worry bout me

kitti b - doin’ good

2pm - hands up

mamamoo x basick - stand up

after school - flashback

(g)i-dle - hann

super junior - black suit

taetiseo - adrenaline

vixx - silence

pony - divine

apink - %%

sunmi - burn

owol - problem

r tee x anda - what you waiting for

femme - whiplash

bvndit - dumb

far east movement - sxwme ft. jay park

vixx - beautiful killer

sonamoo - we are legendary

bap - one shot

block b - nillili mambo

d. holic - color me rad

clc - hobgoblin

kard - dumb litty

sak noel, kuba, neitan - no boyfriend no problem ft. faky, femm

jay park - mommae

hyuna - just follow ft. dok2

agust d - tony montana ft. yankie

monsta x - trespass

pentagon - gorilla

bastarz - zero for conduct

shinee - dangerous (medusa II)

kanye west - no church in the wild ft. jayz, frank ocean, the dream

exo - let out the beast

chungha - gotta go

vixx - spider

nct 127 - limitless

mino - body

yammo - boss ft. dean, dok2

jay park - you know ft. okasion

4minute - huh

bts - not today

t-ara - no. 9

nct u - 7th sense

I wish both you and your rubber duck that you will inevitably chuck across the room before apologizing profusely to it the best of luck 💖💖💖

may all your runs be smooth and debugging endeavors quick 💖💖💖

#I wanted to link you to YouTube but my wifi is really fucking slow :(( im sorry bby #I hope this helps bby 💖💖💖 I love you more than the stars in the sky 💖💖💖#(((((also the fact that my blog is procrastination worthy im-)))))#ok last aside: I really tried making this playlist positive without it sounding like a sunday afternoon at the beach #hang in there bby I believe in you #ans

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magicshopaholic · 1 month

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Hey I don’t know if you got my previous ask but I just wanted to say I’m so excited for where Yoongi and miso’s story is going. Their story feels so different from the others, almost like a thriller (In fact all your stories are like different genres - coming of age, indie, drama thriller). When will you be updating their story? I swear this is no pressure, I’m just so excited!

I don't think I did :/ But I'll answer you now anyway: I'm so glad you're excited! So am I tbh because I have Big Plans for them :D I LOVE that you think that about the genre because that's lowkey one of the main reasons I decided to go with separate series within a multiverse instead of just one large series, because I just had so many ideas. I couldn't imagine Hoseok x Chaeyoung and Yoongi x Miso existing in the same fic, but I could imagine them in the same universe, if that makes sense. How would you categorise the series into genres?

The next fic is a two member fic with Yoongi and Miso being one of them, so next weekend probably?

#notes🍷#yoongi x miso #thanks for your kind words!

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jiminrings · 2 years

Text

four seven eight (3)

pairing: jungkook x reader

wordcount: 11k

glimpse: now that your month-long break’s over, you’re supposed to come home to jungkook at eight in the morning, right before he wakes up — it’s been two hours now, why are you still not home?

alternatively, jungkook will fight with you even if it’s the last thing he’ll do.

[ part one + intermission + part two + intermission 02 + finale ]

[ fluff, full-fledged redemption arc I Swear, some angst, jealous jk, so much longing, references to anxiety, suggestive themes n flirting, everything gets sorted out, based on the moral dilemma of whether or not it’s okay to be friends with ur ex ]

notes: it’s the finale now can u believe :O thank u for staying tuned for the past two weeks — i sincerely cherish each one of u who’s ever interacted with 478 and took the time to be with me throughout the whole thing!! i’ll be taking a lil break this summer btw see u on the next fic <3

as always, lmk what you think <3 send in feedback n love to my askbox anytime!! even replying to this post sends me over the moon :) | series masterlist

The mornings are too long for Jungkook.

They’ve been too long since your break started, dragging out endlessly that he’s just started to close the curtains to not be reminded that the sunset’s still hours away before it fades into night. Mornings were too bright; too intimate to be spent by himself. When you leave for work, you already leave before sunrise, but that’s still morning in your husband’s head.

Jungkook misses his mornings with you.

He misses the mornings where it’s still dark out and he’s been asleep enough for long that he could make out your figure in the dark, either buried to his arm or to his pillow despite the huge expanse of your bed. Mornings nowadays were only reminders for him that he didn’t overthink nor cry himself to the point of passing out from the night before.

He longs for the mornings where his alarm rings before yours and he fumbles to get up immediately, actually excited to wake up for the day. The routine starts with him kissing you on the cheek as silently as he could before replacing himself with a pillow so you could still embrace something while you’re asleep, navigating the dark without turning the lights on so you wouldn’t wake up. The next thing he does is prepare you your breakfast, and if you want to savor in all your sleep and just squeeze in a quick shower, he’s just as ready to pack your meal for you to eat on the go.

The evenings are just as hard but they’re not as long as mornings. If Jungkook spends his nights regretting, then he spends his mornings longing. Reliving his guilt is just as draining the way Jungkook feels like his stomach’s sinking to the floor, but especially during evenings, the guilt is what reminds him that he’s learning.

Longing feels way worse.

Longing feels worse especially during mornings because unlike guilt, it’s formless. It’s fluid enough that it doesn’t make Jungkook cry point-blank nor feel the urge to smack himself in the head for being stupid. It’s listless and repetitive, sneaking into every thought he could form during sunlight. It’s worse than guilt because unlike the bile that rises to his throat, longing is the absence of it. His yearning is what reminds him of who he’s missing.

Even the cat knows who’s missing.

“Miso,” Jungkook hums to your pet that’s the only one who’s been keeping him company these days, the chunky mass of fur not exactly having a choice.

She’s gotten warmer to him when usually her kindness would only be reserved for you. The more bitchy, devious side of her rescinding from the amount of undivided attention Jungkook gives her now. He’s been teaching her tricks — practical, useful tricks.

“If you ever see this man with mommy,” Jungkook hums, showing Miso a picture of Yoongi on his phone. He interrupts himself with a thought, smiling to why he didn’t think of the correction earlier. “Or y’know what? Even if you just see this man, I need you to scratch him, okay?”

Jungkook scratches her chin to get her to look at him, repeating his words again while humming to retain the information on her tiny brain. Mornings are more survivable this way, even if he’s spent the entirety of the past week’s mornings teaching Miso tricks. So far, she knows how to sit, roll around, and jump kick the door to close it.

Hopefully, she also learns the petty trick of hunting Yoongi in the event that she sees him.

Jungkook hums in satisfaction while he gets Miso’s toy, seeing her ears twitch in anticipation. He establishes your co-star’s name (he’s too caught up to even acknowledge him as your friend) to her so not only would she know what he looks like, but also know who is he. “Here, Miso. Practice on this. Pretend that this rat is Yoongi.”

The thought that crosses Jungkook’s mind recently these days is that he doesn’t even know what exactly to feel about Yoongi. He knows him, sure, but only in the same degree that he vaguely knows everyone his wife’s associated to somehow. He knew of him both as an actor and as your acquaintance back then, but just like with everyone else, Jungkook didn’t ask about him. He didn’t ask you all that much about him because there’s no reason to, his trust paramount enough that he didn’t even consider the possibility that Yoongi had a thing for you.

Maybe it’s his fault, Jungkook thinks. Maybe it’s no one’s fault at all because to think of it, he can’t blame Yoongi either.

You’re lovable. Extremely and undoubtedly lovable wherever you go, but the thing is, it isn’t your fault either. Jungkook thinks that perhaps you don’t even know just how admirable you are, the realization sinking into him sometimes that out of all people, it’s him whom you love.

Yoongi’s undeserving of his anger but Jungkook doesn’t know where else to put it, the abundance of it overflowing on himself that even if he knows how wrong it is, he pins it to your friend for the meantime.

In the same vein, Sora’s undeserving of your anger too. She isn’t responsible for any of your insecurities because in the first place, she didn’t even know about the concept of you initially.

Even though both Sora and Yoongi are pillars of your past, the latter continues to be in your present and it’s something Jungkook has to learn to grow accustomed to. Sora’s an ex, Yoongi isn’t. He’s harmless as an almost-your-lover could come, being your best friend at the most with no malice behind his warmth. He’s not responsible either for Jungkook’s insecurities — at the end of the day, it boils down between you and your husband.

You quickly realize that your month apart with Jungkook shouldn’t only remain stagnant. He’s trying and so should you, his pride nowhere to be found nowadays that it’s slightly painful to watch. You’re not devoid of faults entirely, the need to make things right with him from your side of the plate becoming more and more apparent each day.

You’re not even one full ring in until Jungkook immediately answers, his habit of keeping his phone with him at all times paying off now that you called him first.

“Hey, Jungkook,” you hum, trying to swallow down your nervousness. You’re stalling with conversation but he doesn’t need to know that. “Are you free this weekend? It’s the last day of renovation at the shop and my parents want us there.”

“Of course I’m free,” Jungkook answers instantly, furrowing his brows in confusion. He doesn’t even know why you’re asking at this point, the both of you knowing he hasn’t denied the offer once. “I’m a househusband, y’know? Your husband. Why wouldn’t I be there?”

He’s not hurt at your doubt for him but what he feels is close enough, akin to the confusion of why you’re silent.

“Dunno,” you clear your throat, playing with the fraying ends of your throw blanket that you’ve been anxiously taking apart since you started staying in your house. “Thought you were busy.”

“I’m busy missing you if that wasn’t established enough.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll meet you there,” your throat clears at your husband’s deadpanning, sensing that he’s not playing around at the moment with his moment.

Jungkook sighs, letting go of the hurt that comes with your unsureness of his presence just seconds ago. He speaks more lightly this time, a chuckle leaving him. “Should I tell them you slept in? Or do I think of another excuse why we aren’t coming together in one car?”

“Just surprise me, I’ll act along with it,” you sigh in relief at the absence of hostility, rubbing your eyes in thought.

You think of how it would go — if Jungkook’s eyes would light up again once you enter the shop, or if he would kiss your cheek again to greet you in front of your parents. You wonder if he’ll hold you again this time, slinging a warm hand on your waist that’ll make you instinctively lean into him.

Jungkook wonders how he’ll approach you this time — if your eyes would widen when he kisses your cheek tenderly, or if you would notice how he breathes in your perfume that lingers in your hair. He wonders if you’ll reciprocate his affection and put a hand on his waist, enough to make a man like him soften in your hold.

Suddenly, Jungkook doesn’t mind that much anymore that the two of you would come to the shop separately, all if it would mean that he’d get to hold you again just like last time.

There’s a silence that lingers, one that’s peaceful for Jungkook yet loaded for you. You’re deflecting without even trying to, clearing your throat to get rid of the lump that comes with the urge to say what you really needed to. “Also, my parents want Miso to be there too. Do you think you can take her with you? What’s she up to?”

Your parents do miss Miso but not to the point that they’ve outright asked if you could take her with you, hoping that your impromptu plan of dragging their name along for the sake of making conversation with Jungkook doesn’t bite you in the ass later on.

“I can take her, no problem. She’s gotten close to me,” Jungkook hums, getting a loud meow right on time when she returns the toy rat to his palm and you pick up on it.

“Is that her? What’s she doing now?”

“Nothing much, I’m just teaching her how to hunt.”

“But cats already are hunters.”

“Yeah, but I’m teaching her how to hunt a specific person,” Jungkook mumbles in the same time your courage finally gets filled to the brim in your head, the go signal loudly beeping to make you cut to the chase.

“Jungkook, I need to tell you-” your focus is momentarily interrupted, his words belatedly sinking into your head. “Did you just say person?”

“Nothing. I said nothing. What were you going to say?”

Jungkook dismisses your worries even if what he said only slightly bothered you, eagerly waiting for your words. You wait for yourself even with bated breath, wanting to get this over with.

You count to three in your head, screwing your eyes shut. Now wasn’t the time to deflect; not the time for your roles with Jungkook to switch because you could feel that you were being passive while he was being proactive. If Jungkook’s trying, then you need to try too.

“I just wanted to tell you about the episode that’s dropping tomorrow,” you finally say, tugging harshly at a particular thread that it digs into your fingers. “Yoongi and I kiss.”

It’s normal. You’re no stranger to kissing scenes considering that it’s a part of your job. You’ve done it as a minor character already, even when you and Jungkook were still dating and not yet married. You tell him about your acting scenes in passing, especially some that required you to be affectionate and intimate to a certain degree.

Jungkook understands, he should understand. Acting’s your passion and your actual job, one that kept you going. He’s merely a husband at home who’s unconnected to your job and therefore should understand that sometimes, his wife needs to kiss someone else who isn’t him.

He knows he needs to understand that this time, you needed to kiss Yoongi, someone who was almost your lover; yet you don’t know of at the moment. He should grasp that his wife has a drama episode where she kisses Yoongi, one whom she’s linked to in a dating scandal.

Jungkook tries his best to understand but his comprehension doesn’t equate to ease, feeling the burn in his throat when he asks you.

“How many times?” he asks meekly, gnawing on his bottom lip and ignoring Miso for the meantime, the cat concerned because her owner simply just froze into the couch. “How many times do you need to kiss in the episode? In the whole series?”

“We haven’t wrapped up filming for the drama,” you admit, looking down on your lap in unease even if you can’t feel Jungkook’s eyes on you. “But this episode? I have uhm — Yoongi and I have four scenes.”

“And how many takes did it need?” Jungkook asks next, distancing the phone from him a little so you wouldn’t hear his heavy exhales. “It’s a drama, right? Surely there’s a hundred angles and rewinds on one kiss alone.”

He doesn’t know why he’s asking. He doesn’t know if he’s committing penance from wanting to know how many times his wife had to kiss her onscreen partner. He still asks even if he knows that whatever answer you’d give him, it would still sting. “Ten? More than ten?”

“I didn’t count, Jungkook,” you answer truthfully, rubbing your temple.

“Was it too many to count then?”

His retort comes out a little piqued, a little too sharp that it makes you sigh. Jungkook reminds himself to calm down and not think about you kissing Yoongi at all. To not think about you kissing and least of all, loving someone who isn’t him.

“Sorry. Thanks for giving me a heads-up,” he apologizes, the discomfort in his stomach slowly rising that he can’t stay seated. “Miso’s... Miso needs food now. She won’t stop meowing.”

There’s no meows at all. No urgent pawing from her that signified she wanted her food bowl to be filled.

The two of you both know that he just needs a little time; a little time to try and breathe. Jungkook urgently needs to get his mind off that he rushingly ends the call, not even waiting for a reply. “Thank you. Bye. I love you.”

Four seconds. Breathe in through your nose.

Seven seconds. Hold it.

Eight seconds. Exhale through your mouth.

He doesn’t know what to do, seeing you and Yoongi be intimate. He’s watched every episode of the drama so far and he could still swallow your dialogue with his character. He chuckles at the banter when you cuss him out. He smiles when the cinematography captures you the way his eyes do, through the lens of someone who loves you deeply.

He doesn’t know what he’d feel seeing you, along with a lot more people at this case, kiss Yoongi. He doesn’t know what to feel knowing that just like the vast majority of people and fans outside of your closest and most trusted family and friends, nobody knows that he’s your husband.

It’s hurtful but it’s needed, a reminder he engraves in his brain because this is what he initially thought he wanted for himself. Nowadays, he wants nothing more than everyone to know that he’s yours.

Jungkook reminds himself to breathe.

( ♡ )

All the lights are turned on.

All the lights are turned on along with every other single discomfort Jungkook could think of that would take away the intimacy when tonight’s episode drops.

He gave Miso the loudest and most annoying toy she could ever play with, the tinkling of the bell inside the bouncy ball ringing almost every minute. He took a shower and barely dried off his hair, the ends of it still dripping wet to the cushions of the couch. Jungkook orchestrates everything to be at unease so he’d be distracted when the real unease comes, the tiny little inconveniences hopefully enough to cancel out what he’ll be seeing later.

“Can you stay on the call with me? I need you to tell me when it starts and when it ends,” Jungkook mumbles to his phone, the volume on loudspeaker so it would disrupt him too.

“You could just not watch the episode,” you sigh, offering the simplest and most effective solution to his current problem. You don’t even know why he’d willingly put himself through this, aware that the kissing scenes would do nothing to alleviate the matters of his heart and mind.

Jungkook snickers under his breath, dragging out his exhale when he explains his dilemma. He didn’t want to be selfish, unable to forego watching the episode just because he’s throwing a hissy fit over his wife’s job.

“I watch every episode to support you, though. Not everyone could say their wife’s on TV.”

Somehow, you get it. You could grasp Jungkook’s eagerness to support you by watching you do what you love most, and in the same time comprehend his aversion that doing what you love most somehow entails landing your commitment to kiss Yoongi.

You get it, you try your best to understand where Jungkook’s coming from but at this point, you’re merely a bystander to his worries. Neither are you there nor capable enough to do something about it.

“I’m sorry, Jungkook. But I can’t — I can’t do anything about it, y’know? This is work,” you emphasize, hoping that the reminder of your job atleast helps the webbing that’s in his mind. “I can’t think of any romantic drama that doesn’t have a kissing scene in it.”

There’s the sinking feeling again in Jungkook’s stomach, one that tells him he’s asking too much from you despite barely verbalizing it at all. He feels selfish to the point that he’s even called you tonight even if he didn’t ask beforehand if it was okay, the reminder present that the two of you are on a break for a reason.

You don’t see him now but you could only imagine the conflict that manifests in his downturned lips, eyes beady and remaining shut while he tries to regain his bearings.

“Do you want me to turn on my video? So you could see me, if it helps,” you offer gently, not wanting to get ahead of yourself in the event that Jungkook can’t even stomach looking at you.

“It’ll help,” Jungkook instantly answers, shoulders slacking in relief when he sees you on his phone. He lets himself smily briefly, turning on his own video once he sees you settled in. He sets his phone (or rather you) on the coffee table, the angle turned upwards so you could see him resting into the couch.

If you notice the way that overhead lighting’s used instead of ambient lighting, despite the disuse of the latter gives him a headache, you don’t comment on it.

You don’t ask why Jungkook’s hair is sopping wet and why he’s wearing a hoodie that he hates because it made him itch and sweat. There’s no acknowledgement to why he’s wearing his old glasses instead of his new ones, because the ones he’s wearing at the moment are clunky and has an outdated prescription.

In some odd reversal, you’ve become Jungkook during your break with him. You’re observant but you don’t act on it. You listen but you’re silent. You continue to notice everything and process it by yourself instead of doing the easier way of addressing him.

Jungkook’s become more like you — a little more talkative. He’s more obvious and readable nowadays, not one thought going unspoken. He comments continuously, babbling while the episode starts.

He giggles through the funny scenes and comments how you’d say something exactly like your character would in real life, absorbed into the show that he doesn’t even know you’re only looking at him.

You see every smile that forms in his face whenever you come into the frame, eyes twinkling when he sees that smile mirrored on the screen as if you could see him while you were filming the episode and knew he’d be watching.

The video’s clear and although not comparable to what you’d see if you were face to face, you could see every detail and every thought that passes through your husband’s visage. You see the way his lips would purse whenever Yoongi’s character pursues you, mind going a little blank when he sees him reaching out for either your hand or your waist.

You see Jungkook through the first of it, when you hear the familiar score leading up to the first kissing scene of the episode and the entire series for that matter. He was on alert the whole time, but nothing could ever prepare him into seeing you look so deeply into Yoongi as if you’ve known him your whole life.

Nothing could prepare Jungkook into seeing Yoongi smile gently, securing his hand on your cheek when you giggle upon looking at him.

The musical score doesn’t help in the background because it’s of bells and a gentle uprising of the piano, the peak of it powerful enough that it convinces everyone watching that oh — this is probably what love looks like. You and Yoongi on the screen must be perfect enough to convince everyone who’s watching, and even Jungkook for a split second, that your love is what love should look like.

Jungkook’s unprepared when he sees you close your eyes the moment Yoongi leans into you gently, no resistance at all to the love that he gives. Yoongi’s portraying love, he must be, Jungkook thinks. Yoongi’s doing it so well that even he, your husband, is momentarily convinced that Yoongi knows how to love you the most from a kiss alone.

You see everything. You see Jungkook squirm when you press your lips harder to Yoongi’s to reciprocate his kiss, tilting your head to complement his movements so he could kiss you deeper. You see him anxiously play with his wedding band when the camera pans to your ring-less hand gently stroking Yoongi’s nape, your on-screen partner’s hand straying to the small of your back warmly.

There’s no prepared unease that could ever orient Jungkook because seeing you with Yoongi, someone who isn’t him, brings him the greatest discomfort of all. It’s heavy on his body, the trepidation crawling from the base of his skull all the way to the tips of his toes.

It eventually ends, yet it was only the first of four in the episode. The first of the many indefinite kisses he’s yet to see in the entirety of the series.

“Jungkook.”

Your voice is what snaps him out of his reverie, rapidly blinking and genuinely confused when he feels that his cheeks are warm from all the tears he’s been unconsciously shedding throughout the scene.

“Yeah?” his voice croaks, reflecting the sinking feeling that ponders on his ribs.

“I love you.”

You say it gently, the first you’ve ever uttered for almost a whole month of not doing so. You didn’t plan on it and yet it’s already escaped you, unwilling to take it back either because it’s the truth.

“I love you more,” Jungkook smiles, genuine despite being tight-lipped because if he were to smile bigger, the tears would just pour.

“Please don’t cry,” you request, albeit weakly because you can’t find the fight in your voice. It’s unavoidable for him.

“I can’t help it,” Jungkook truthfully says, playing with his wedding band before the thought crosses his mind of what he’s been meaning to say. “I need to tell you something this weekend, by the way.”

“Can’t you say it now?” you hum, growing curious.

“Not really, it’d be better if I say it to you in person.”

Jungkook rewinds his memory of learning from Jimin that Yoongi was so close to being the love of your life, narrowly being beaten by a day. It still hasn’t sunk in completely that it makes Jungkook snicker at thought, having to shake his head to try and get rid of it. “Just thinking about it makes me want to run into oncoming traffic.”

“Is it that bad?” you chuckle, figuring the extent of it now that Jungkook’s joking about it but simultaneously looks devastated.

“For me, yeah,” he answers without a doubt, trailing when he tries to consider your side. He’s not sure, the uncertainty of your reaction almost winding him breathless. “For you… I don’t know.”

Jungkook’s trying to tell you everything and so would you, attempting to bare it all no matter the initial unease it brings.

“I wanted to say something to you too,” you clear your throat, rethinking the night at the club that Yoongi admitted he has a crush on you.

“Is it worse than what I have to say?” Jungkook chuckles, looking at the screen with a hope you can’t distinguish.

“I can’t tell either.”

Jungkook nods but it’s apparent that neither of you could leave the conversation at that, a little antsy to know something yet not everything at this time of night.

“How about we say a keyword each?” he pipes in, the suggestion being more than welcome. “That way, we’re not entirely clueless before we see each other this weekend.”

“That could work,” you try to say nonchalantly, attempting to disguise your curiosity into relaxation yet you can’t do it anyway. “One, two, three.”

“Yoongi.”

“That fucking guy,” Jungkook humorlessly chuckles, shaking his head once it sinks into him that Yoongi happens to be the common denominator of the things you wanted to admit to each other. It’s not lost on him that Yoongi just happens to be a variable, but the more irrational part of his brain is what makes him angry at the guy.

“We have different things to say that somehow involves Yoongi too, hm?” you ask despite knowing the answer, seeing your husband suck in a harsh inhale.

“Yeah, unfortunately,” he breathes out, rolling his eyes when his face appears in his sight for a second. “Yoongi that fucking rat.”

Jungkook utters your friend’s name with such venom that it wakes Miso up, the ball of fluff previously asleep in the corner of the living room yet came to life as soon as she heard rat and Yoongi in the same sentence.

Miso suddenly speeds into the couch on high alert, tail puffed up as she runs and sits next to Jungkook, obviously in a panic and on the lookout. It happens so fast that your husband barely even registers it until you ask in a hurry.

“Why’s Miso angry?”

The realization clicks in Jungkook’s head soon enough, the moment becoming the peak of the lessons he’s taught the cat every morning for the past week. “I taught her. Watch.”

“Miso,” Jungkook drawls, scratching her chin before pointing to the screen. “Who’s that? Isn’t that Yoongi?”

Like clockwork, Miso leaps to the TV from a sprint and bounces off of it, the force enough to rock it backwards but not enough to take it out of its mount, thankfully not shattering the screen. Jungkook’s caught it in video, the back camera capturing his proud moment as a (cat)dad.

“Jungkook!” you yelp when you look at the TV, the video once again returning to his face because he realizes now that you don’t need to look at the exact aftermath of Miso’s party trick. “What did you teach our cat?”

“I taught her how to hunt,” he huffs as if it’s the most obvious thing ever. “Don’t look at me like that. I have to cope somehow,” he adds, “plus you know Miso. She doesn’t really engage with things she isn’t passionate about.”

It’s true; just like the twenty toys you buy but two of them only stick. When you bought her a cat tower, the box that it came with is what she became fixated on. Even getting used to the baby blue floor couch was a struggle because at the first month of the furniture inhabiting your living room, Miso used to hiss at it simply because she hated it. She became passionate about it soon enough when she figured that the stream of sunlight is perfect for her midday naps.

“What’s that, Miso?” Jungkook gasps now that Miso’s back to him, sat on his lap as she tilts her head on you curiously at the screen. He lends her his ear and just in time does she peer at Jungkook, making it seem like they were gossiping; the sight’s too warm you can’t help but to screenshot. “You don’t like mommy kissing other guys?”

The sudden skit that unfolds catches you off-guard, warranting a surprised cackle from your lips that makes Jungkook crack up.

“That kissing scene alone can buy you five years’ worth of cat food, Miso.”

“What was that, baby?” Jungkook gasps once again, brows furrowed as he stares down Miso who’s definitely not talking. “You’d rather starve than see mommy kissing that guy again?!”

“Miso’s new trick is to talk?” you pipe in when Jungkook doesn’t let the act go, tilting your head. You playfully chuckle, raising your eyebrows at him. “Are you jealous? Is that it?”

“Amongst other deprecating things, believe me,” he mumbles, resorting to cradling Miso in his arms like a baby. “I just admitted to teaching our cat to attack Yoongi on command. I’m not exactly hiding that I’m jealous.”

“Jungkook,” you hum with the intention of reminding him something, the switch of tone evident that it makes him alert.

“Yeah, baby?” he sighs, running his hand through his hair while he looks at you.

It’s not lost on you that Jungkook called you an endearment other than your name, and yet you try to swallow down your reaction, a tight-lipped smile replacing your previous laugh.

“You just sat through all four kissing scenes. That was the last of the episode.”

His eyes widen because he forgot that the episode was ongoing in the first place, gaze flitting to the screen as he realizes that true enough, the credits are even bound to roll soon. “Oh.”

The silence comes back and as much as you want to linger, you will yourself not to. “I’ll end the call here, alright?”

“Thank you,” Jungkook says, a grateful smile on his lips that you stayed throughout. “I love you,” he reminds. “I mean it.”

All you could give is a timid smile before you drop the call, sighing when you bury your face to the couch; your massive gray couch that is not the baby blue floor couch you have at home.

Jungkook doesn’t need to say the words but he does anyway, reminding you just how sincere he is when he says that he love you. He means it; you’ve always known. “I know you do.”

( ♡ )

The days leading to the end of the break are easier.

They’re easier in the sense that Jungkook can sleep for minutes at a time at night, granted if he had any sort of interaction with you that day. The days are easier as they pass but Jungkook doesn’t grow complacent, putting in the work whenever he could.

You’re positively confused (and a little worried) when you receive an email from Jungkook, a meeting link attached that starts at the exact moment he’s sent you it. You think for a second that he’s hacked because he barely even opens his email, but the signature of <3 jungkook at the bottom tells you that funnily enough, it is your husband.

You indulge him, even if you’re five minutes late from the time it took to fetch your laptop from your bedroom. Jungkook was starting to think you weren’t even gonna show but by the time you enter the meeting room, he’s the one who’s surprised by your sudden barrage of questions.

“You emailed me a link,” your brows furrow. “Is your phone not working? Should I buy you a new one?” you think out-loud but reel yourself in once you see Jungkook patiently waiting for his chance to speak. “I’m not opposed to talking to you virtually, Jungkook. Just… why a Zoom link?”

Jungkook never thought you’d ask, shrugging when you lead him right where he needs you to be. He says it like it’s obvious, as if you’ve been doing this everyday since you got married.

“Because we’re in a meeting,” he trails, retaining his gaze on the screen while he tries to discreetly prepare his slides in the background. “I’m presenting.”

You can’t be any more confused than you are now, having just gotten home from work at ten in the evening. You haven’t even showered yet, too puzzled with Jungkook emailing you that you couldn’t pas it up. “What? Presenting what?”

Once again, you give Jungkook the perfect opening because as soon as the last word leaves your mouth, the screen changes.

It’s a presentation with a very familiar color scheme, big bold letters right at the middle entitled “Why You Should Let Mr. Jeon Win This Time” — the same animation for the text beyond recognizable. The subtext reads as “I’m still very sorry” — the background of the presentation being the very two things you’ve used this presentation for; the baby blue floor couch, and the third-biggest variation of a king-sized bed.

A laugh leaves you even before you could conceal it, the surprise in your face evident with the way you’re covering your face. Jungkook himself laughs at your reaction, a welcome feeling now that he gets to try giving you a presentation of his own.

“Stealing from my book now, hm?” you hum, wiping the stray tears out of your eyes. “Be honest, you love the couch. You love the bed too!”

It’s a welcome moment; a needed moment between the two of you. Not everything’s fixed but you’re getting there with small baby steps, each one clearing out the miscommunication and lapses of judgement that landed the two of you here in the first place; even if it’s one presentation at a time.

“With you in it, duh. The couch is a nightmare to clean,” Jungkook groans, resting his face on his hand as he could see you happy by your tiny icon, the presentation he’s spent the entirety of last night over taking up his whole screen. “I need you in my bed to enjoy it.”

It’s perhaps a welcome moment too; perhaps not extremely vital to the situation, but still welcome nonetheless.

“I didn’t mean-“ Jungkook’s cheeks flush, pursing his lips to think of what excuse he could say for himself. He racks his brain for a second now that the two of you are just staring at each other from his accidental innuendo, ultimately concluding that there’s nothing. “Okay, fuck it. I do mean it in that way too.”

The unabashed admission is what gets you, an easy chuckle being squeezed out of you as you try to retain your eye contact with Jungkook who’s apparently very passionate in explaining.

“Once you come home, I’m gonna,” Jungkook grunts, his two hands up as he grasps the air and squeezes. “I’m really just gonna-…”

Your laugh is what reminds him that you’re still there, looking at him directly while he makes a fool out of himself by vaguely detailing just about what he means when you come home.

“You’re gonna what, babe?” you hum playfully, the endearment slipping right out of you. You realize belatedly but neither of you comment on it, letting the term linger in the air.

Jungkook’s the one who’s caught off-guard now, at a loss for words while he resorts to rolling his eyes playfully.

“You’ll see.”

Your husband jumps from one slide to another, taking his sweet time in explaining and expounding each one. There’s no script at all, obvious from the way he stutters and laughs between words.

The moment doesn’t last forever but it’s welcome, all the while worth it because by the time Jungkook reaches the last slide, the two of you feel considerably lighter than before.

“Our break ends one week from now,” Jungkook reminds you when your laughs die down, cheeks still a little pink from catching his breath from all the talking that he had to do.

You look a little more somber now, still admirable despite the exhaustion (and relief) you’ve went through today.

“Come home to me, okay? Come home to me before I wake up.”

“You don’t sleep, though.” It’s your turn to remind him, voice more gentle than before.

“Yes I do,” he weakly argues, but there’s no point in telling the white lie.

“Okay no, not really. But since you’ve been calling me, I could doze for thirty minutes at a time.”

It’s the first time you’ve heard of Jungkook’s improvement in sleeping without you, unsurprised that the genuine happiness in your features already translates to your husband who preens at your reaction.

“You’ve been gone for so long, do you even remember what time I wake up?” he asks harmlessly, no malice to his tone when he brings it up.

“When I’m with you, you wake up thirty minutes before I leave,” you squint in thought, sure of your answer because it’s a routine that’s stuck for quite some time.

“And when I’m not there-” you start yet you don’t know how to finish, eyes suddenly going blank because there’s no answer that comes to mind. “I don’t know.”

You try not to dwell about your lack for an answer — the reason either being you forgetting it or you not knowing at all. Nonetheless, you try to rectify your lack for an answer by immediately asking.

“What time do you wake — no, you don’t sleep. What time do you get out of bed when I’m not there?”

“Eight,” Jungkook answers. “I get out of bed at eight in the morning when you’re not there.”

He sees you take note of it in your head, your lips mumbling the time to yourself to internalize it without having to write it down.

“I’ll sleep the night before, I promise. I’ll sleep the entire night,” he adds if it means he could lessen your load of worry that you carry with you, trying to find more ways in sharing your burdens that concern him one way or another.

You nod, inarguably feeling lighter.

“Okay.”

( ♡ )

Your parents don’t suspect a thing.

They don’t suspect a thing between you and Jungkook despite knowing the two of you, most especially you, very well. They didn’t think twice about the two of you arriving to the shop in your own cars because just like last time, Jungkook arrives earlier than you and explains why his wife, their daughter, is late.

There isn’t anything questionable about it. You being busy is clockwork by now and Jungkook being the filial son-in-law isn’t anything new.

What is new to them is Jungkook being a little more talkative.

It’s not as if he’s never talked to them when you aren’t by his side, but something was just different to the way he carries himself now. His shoulders are still relaxed but his hands don’t tuck themselves into his pockets, his fingers instead pointing around to ask them about something.

Jungkook seems more present in a way that you almost miss it. Your parents can’t pinpoint what it is exactly but if Jungkook was warm before, then he’s become even warmer now.

He talks more; more attentive as he notices your mother’s new earrings. He’s always figured that she has a penchant for changing up her jewelry but it’s only now that he comments on it, complimenting the dangling charms on her ears that makes her blush.

He laughs more, your father figures. Jungkook outsizes him in height but when he laughs, his shoulders hunch and his face scrunches brightly that they’re almost the same height. He jokes more with your dad nowadays, their banter and shoulder jabs more apparent that it would seem like he’s his actual child.

They just can’t put a finger on it because as much as Jungkook’s always been kind and warm, there’s something about him now that makes him shine a little brighter.

“Hi, baby,” Jungkook greets you the moment you enter the shop, wasting no time in slinging an arm around your waist and pressing a kiss to your cheek. He moves like he’s never seen you before, in fact meeting you by the door before you could even take two steps in and go about what he’s been yearning to do since last week.

“There you are,” he hums, smiling so hard that his eyes crescent when you roll your eyes before returning the kiss to his cheek. He lets his arm wrap around your shoulders, taking you closer to him. “You just really had the urge to deep-clean your couch at four in the morning, huh?”

The half-scoff that leaves your lips is more playful than it is offended, shaking your head when you play along. “Mhmm. Our couch, of course. I love that couch,” you exclaim, finally taking your eyes off him to acknowledge your parents who are watching your interaction unfold. “Takes you longer to clean and exhausts you more when your husband doesn’t help clean it.”

“Oh so now we’re just straight-up lying,” he hums, laughing before letting you go so you could hug your parents.

Your mom and dad can finally put a finger on it now — Jungkook’s just in love. He’s even more in love with you than the last time, the realization fitting just perfectly to the twinkle behind your husband’s eyes.

The shop hasn’t felt this warm to you until now.

Somehow, it’s even warmer than the times you’ve spent your childhood birthdays in here, perched on the counter with a different cake each time. Today’s warmer than that time before when you were excited to take your portraits to commemorate your coming-of-age, eager to brag to your family and friends. It’s warmer than when you came into the shop to announce you received your very first callback in your career; unable to wait for it to close that you ended up yelling the news the moment you came in, and despite not knowing anything besides that you were the daughter of the owners of the shop, everyone else cheered with you.

Now is warmer than the past. Now is warmer with Jungkook.

It helps that your hearts are somehow lighter now because the last time the both of you were at the shop, it was merely the 15th day of your break — and here you are, undoubtedly blithe and easier together on the 28th day.

It’s a foundation that grows solid day by day, the space you’ve established giving more leeway for the two of you to grow and occupy it altogether once more when all faults are recognized.

You and Jungkook work through the motions of completing the renovation, teaming yourselves up with only small talk about the task at hand. The urge to talk to you quite literally shows in the way Jungkook’s eager to finish earlier, his keenness making you smile while you take your time.

It’s only after sunset when everything’s finished; when the second coats of paint are all fully-dried and the shelves are built, when all the furniture’s arranged and Jungkook’s successfully picked up every time-consuming task in the shop to wrap it up earlier.

Jungkook’s body physically burns from the labor but he’s not weary just yet, tugging you to the empty breakroom to catch his breath and finally talk.

“Can I go first?” you ask when Jungkook finally looks like he could blink without seeing darkness at the corners of his eyes, making him drink from your own cup.

Your husband nods eagerly, sitting himself closer to you on the floor because the two of you were too afraid to sit on the new sofa in fear of dirtying it.

It’s quiet like this; with the doors closed and no TV present to provide white noise, no Miso either who’d fill up the space with her presence. This moment alone with Jungkook is what reminds you that it’s been far too long since the two of you have gotten this intimate; this close to each other and this willing to talk.

The two of you are together now simply because you are; no longer in the context of you coming home late at night because of work, too tired to initiate conversation.

“When Yoongi and I were in the club, he admitted that he had a crush on me,” you start as gently as you could, thankful that you’re sitting beside Jungkook and not opposite of him so you wouldn’t feel obligated to look at him. “Had a crush on me back then when we were young, and he has a crush on me now.”

You don’t look at Jungkook because you don’t want to see him upset, but it’s only inevitable that you look at his hurt for you to understand his side completely. It’s not exactly an everyday occurrence to know that your wife’s co-worker, one whom she has to see practically everyday for months, has a crush on her.

“But I told him I was married and he understands, he’s not getting between us or anything like that,” you’re quick to amend, but not in the tone that you’re making it seem you’re on Yoongi’s side. “He told me just a few days ago that the crush he has now is nothing serious, by the way. It’s just the admiration from afar thing.”

Jungkook’s still silent but maybe it’s only like that in your head because you’re still gathering the courage to look at him, only doing so when he squeezes your knee.

“I just wanted to tell you that. It’d be wrong for me not to,” you say truthfully, unable to digest the guilt if you do otherwise. “I’m sorry. I never really got to apologize to you about the Yoongi thing.”

You’re not devoid of faults — you never are and never will be.

“I know this whole dating scandal is hard on you too. Especially Jimin’s plan of not doing anything about it at all,” you chuckle, trying to grasp what you’d feel like if it’s Jungkook who was the celebrity and not you.

The scandals weren’t dying down, in fact they were only getting bigger in number given the new episodes, all of where Yoongi and you kissed and were significantly more affectionate. The two of you haven’t met outside since the article was released, meaning that anything from that point forward is purely made-up.

Jungkook won’t deny that he searches your name and Yoongi’s these days, scrolling through countless of comments. He doesn’t exactly know why he’s doing it either but after every scroll that just unknowingly adds to his own insecurity, Jungkook figures that his trust in you never faltered.

“It’s okay. I’m not upset over it,” your husband admits, having had the time to reevaluate all his initial anger over Yoongi when he saw the two of you at the club. “If I knew from someone else that you met up with your ex, I think I’d get a drink with an old friend too.”

He puts things into perspective and the way he does it relieve you of all your residual guilt, realizing now that although not the best option, your response was only rational; a little confusing and a little flawed, sure, but never malicious.

“I don’t have an ex.”

You smile in reminder that it makes Jungkook do the same, his intake of breath turning a little sharper when he realizes that you’re done with your side.

“It’s my turn to tell you then.”

This time it’s you who eagerly nods, oddly seeing yourself in Jungkook’s actions when he looks down the floor instead of you, a little nervous in saying the truth.

“Yoongi was supposed to ask you out back then.”

Jungkook says it as casually as he could, to not make it seem as serious as it actually was. He doesn’t know if he executed the bit perfectly but it warrants a reaction from you anyway, eyes widened in genuine surprise.

“What? I didn’t know that.”

“I know. Jimin slipped about it,” Jungkook continues. “He brought it up casually because he told me that Yoongi told him, then he thought I knew about it because he assumed the two of us were friends.”

“When did you and Jimin even talk?” your eyes narrow in confusion. The last time you checked, Jimin was close to you (and Jungkook by extension) enough to attend your wedding, but not close enough for him and Jungkook to sustain a conversation by themselves.

“How were your meals?” Jungkook grins, dimples in full display while he watches the gears in your head turn. “Did they taste good? I hope they were still hot when you got them.”

“My meals? What — no,” you gasp when you realize, knowing that your suspicion over catering cooking your every favorite meal was too good to be true. “You were the one who made them?”

“Mhmm,” Jungkook proudly hums, feeling a burst of your pride when you lean your head on his shoulder giddily. “Then I got Jimin to deliver them to you personally so you wouldn’t question catering.”

“Cute,” you mumble, looking up at him from your spot on his shoulder. “Back to the Yoongi part?”

“Right, the Yoongi part,” Jungkook sighs, putting his arm around your shoulder while you held his hand. “Based from what you just said, maybe Yoongi didn’t just have a crush on you, y’know? He loved you enough that he planned to ask you out.”

“And get this,” Jungkook adds, a solemn look to his face when he almost whispers it to you as if it’s a secret. “I only beat him to it a day earlier.”

He watches you process it all, waiting for it to click in before he continues so he’d know you were on the same pace with him.

“I asked you on the 1st, right? Do you still remember the date, hm? I bet you don’t,” Jungkook teases, a welcome moment of playfulness from the nature of your conversation.

“Don’t test me,” you huff, crossing your arms in retort. “You asked me out on the first day of October,” you enunciate, not having to think about it twice. “In case you don’t remember, dummy, October 1st is also our wedding date.”

“Wow. My girl knows so much, hm?” Jungkook laughs heartily, throwing his head back when he resumes his hold on you while the two of you lean against the wall. “I asked you out on October 1, then that means Yoongi would’ve asked you out on October 2.”

It’s fate; narrow fate that would’ve been changed completely if only it wasn’t kind enough to favor Jungkook.

“I narrowly beat him by a day. It was almost not me,” he plays with his wedding band. “If I was just a day late, I don’t know if I’d even be here.”

“Yoongi was almost your first boyfriend, your first love,” he exhales heavily at the thought, smiling although it doesn’t exactly look the happiest. “Your first everything.”

It’s a thought that sinks into him every second the moment he’s learned of it, the alternate of what could’ve happened haunting him by the minute. Jungkook doesn’t even know if lucky was the right term to call it. Luck seemed too shallow to be in charge of a blessing as big as you. “I’m glad fate was on my side when it led me to you.”

“It’s hard to digest everything, I know,” Jungkook admits, because even he found it difficult trying to take everything at once. “I don’t know if I could wrap my head around it now, but I want to ask,” he swallows the lump in his throat, looking straight through you that you can’t find yourself avoiding his gaze. “Please don’t lie to me.”

“If I got the whole timing wrong and Yoongi asked you out first, would you have accepted?” your husband asks. “Would you have married him?” Jungkook asks one question after the other, the gravity of it still plaguing him even if he’s said it out-loud. “If it was him and not me, would you still be happy?”

It’s a question that rattles you to your core, all the way down to your bones that your fingers tingle and it’s your ring finger that feels like twitching. It’s a loaded question that only crossed Jungkook’s mind a hundred times before he sleeps, and it a question that’s only crossed your mind now.

“I wouldn’t know, Jungkook,” you whisper, a little winded. “I don’t know.”

“It’s okay,” Jungkook nods, swallowing the hurt.

He can’t blame you — he wouldn’t blame you. He’s not the only one hurting in this equation and it would be unfair of him to require you to give him an answer now; now when it’s apparent that you’re beyond shaken and your mind feels like it’s about to split open.

“Now stand up. Ring me up as the first and last customer of the day before I go home,” Jungkook urges you to stand up, leading you by your hand to place you behind the counter, and him to stand at the other side of it.

“What are you doing?” you mumble, barely coherent because one second, your husband’s asking you if it would still be him if Yoongi had only asked you out earlier, and now, he wants you to play cashier with him.

“I have an order, baby. Just stand behind the counter and let me pay.”

Jungkook explains gently, fetching his bag with him and pulls out a whole lunchbox filled with undeveloped film canisters, the same container where he’d put in all your snacks before you left for work.

You’re speechless as you look at the collection, neatly placed together but you know that there’s hundreds of pictures and memories in that single lunchbox alone, the fact that this is all coming from your husband making your mind blank.

“All of these, please. I’ve been collecting for awhile,” he says casually, pulling out his wallet.

“Jungkook,” you call, opening the lunchbox to see the canisters for yourself if they were real and not merely props. “Since when did this start?”

Your husband doesn’t answer, instead giving you the exact amount and peering over the counter because you’re still dazed, using your fingers to punch his order in. “You’ll know. I never turned off the timestamp.”

“Bye. I love you. Text me when you get to your house,” Jungkook bids you goodbye and it’s only then that you snap out momentarily, eyes beady from trying to process the last minutes alone. He leans in just a little, all to be able to press a kiss on the corner of your mouth.

You stare when he exits the shop, watching him drive away until you could no longer see his car from the distance.

There’s no time you waste when all of the systems in your head tell you to develop your husband’s films now, not passing up a single second because it’s more of an instinct than an urge. You get to work immediately, having to fend off your parents that you’ll handle this alone and they could come home while you close off everything once you’re done.

You get to the darkroom and do everything as quickly and as precisely as you could, seeing vague figures by the moment you hang each print to dry. It takes you the rest of the night until the early hours of morning to go through everything, greatly too impatient that you physically had to step out of the room while waiting.

It’s only when your timer goes off that you allow yourself to be in the same space with the pictures that your husband took through the years, eyes skimming over each one to look at the timestamp.

The very first picture, the very first one you processed that’s hung in the frontmost line in the darkroom dates back to October 1, five years ago — the very same day he asked you out.

The realization hits you deeply because the moment you step back, you see that every image, every composition in this darkroom of all the film pictures Jungkook has taken for the past five years, is you.

It’s pictures taken of you candidly, when you’re in mid-conversation and when your eyes are turned away from the camera. It’s images of you that are taken from afar, your silhouette turned to Jungkook and facing whatever’s in front of you instead, almost never making eye contact at all. There’s several where there’s mirrors involved and while Jungkook meant to capture your smile, he unintentionally captured his too while looking at you.

There’s pictures taken of you in your important milestones; in your wedding dress while Jungkook hung around in the back to see you getting prepared for the reception, and in bed when you’re wearing his shirt, reading the script for In Terms of Eternity’s pilot episode.

There’s mementos taken of you all over the place; ones where you’re in the driver’s seat and ones where you’re on your phone. There’s pictures of you fixing yourself in the mirror and pictures of you as you sleep, your head tucked to his neck and where half of Jungkook’s face is visible. Pictures of your hands with your wedding band worn and even pictures of you laughing, the shots itself being blurry because Jungkook laughs while you do.

Each one, all of them you.

It’s a definitive answer that you can say to Jungkook now, the question to whether or not it would still be him if Yoongi got the better slice of timing. You don’t know any other love like Jungkook’s and you’re content with it — you’re at peace knowing that Jungkook’s your first love, your first kiss, your first everything.

The answer’s clearer than ever when you see each picture that proved to you Jungkook’s love had never wavered nor faltered, no matter the distance nor the blurriness in his pictures.

It has always been, and always will be Jungkook.

( ♡ )

You can’t move.

Your body feels far too strained and exhausted to move, even attempting to raise your head makes you want to faint. It’s barely going well and you want to try so hard to leave your house and come home to Jungkook, but things simply were not on your side.

You already should’ve left at six in the morning and that was when you gathered your remaining strength that was left from your fever that developed drastically overnight. It was just the occasional headache and the nausea a few days ago, but figuring that you thought little of it and proceeded to work with filming until the late of the night, your sickness has gotten worse unsurprisingly.

You’re more than prepared, even packing back all your stuff into the luggage you came with and setting an alarm for you to drive home early. All you had to do was wake up and drive — and now that you’re barely coping with the first, your car won’t start.

It won’t start no matter how much you try to remedy it by popping open your hood, unable to gauge what’s wrong because your fever’s getting the best of you and you could barely function. It was six in the morning when you trekked back to your bed and decided to take just a brief nap in hopes you’d get better.

But it’s already been four hours — it’s ten in the morning.

It’s two hours past eight and Jungkook’s been waiting for you for two hours, unable to hold it all in when it turned seven in the morning and you still weren’t there.

Jungkook’s hurt and cries his heart out because he’s slept for this, hoped for this. He didn’t know how to react when he opens his eyes at eight in the morning to not see you beside him. Jungkook’s hurt, beyond hurt to the point of speaking but he stands up immediately with a newfound drive.

He won’t settle for this. He’ll fight you on this.

Jungkook takes his key to your house and wastes no time in jamming it into your front door, vision blurry still because he drove all the way here while barely coherent. He marches up the stairs, failing to see your luggage that’s already near the front door, all that’s left for you to do was to load it in your trunk and go home to him.

Your husband storms to your room and throws the door open, voice cracking to see you still underneath the comforter.

“Get up.”

He sees you rumbling from underneath it but you don’t talk, only making him more distraught that he comes closer to the foot of your bed.

“Get up from bed right now because we’re going to fight.”

He’s no longer your husband who didn’t want to fight you on things for the sake of self-preservation. He’s no longer the one who avoided confrontation in fear of setting you apart from him because this is what he gets from being so passive — from being so unwilling to fight you.

“We’re going to fight right now because I don’t want you to break up with me,” he grits through tears, shaking your foot at the end of the bed. “I don’t want to let you go.”

Your movements from underneath the comforter are more apparent but you still don’t get up, springing Jungkook into walking to your side of the bed where your head laid.

“Get up, Y/N. I’m not kidding,” Jungkook tears up, only to shake you awake by your shoulder but he feels the abnormal warmth of it before he could even speak, the realization settling in.

“Can we fight tomorrow?” you ask in a small voice, turning over to look at Jungkook who’s been crying. “My head feels like it’s splitting open.”

“You’re sick,” Jungkook exclaims, half in worry yet half in relief because it’s the only reason to why you didn’t come home to him before hoke up. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

He was worried, beyond out of his mind that the first thing he does now is get underneath the covers with you, embracing you tightly. You feel it too, feeling apologetic that you were late but what’s important now is that Jungkook’s here with you, fully aware that you have no intention of leaving him.

“I was gonna come back home, trust me. My bags were all prepared,” you mumble to his neck, your husband immediately cradling your face to it as he hushes you to not strain your voice and explain. “I really was! But then my car wouldn’t start, and when I woke up this morning, I was sick.”

“I know. I know now. It’s okay, baby. I understand,” Jungkook says gently, rocking you back and forth and only thinking of now, choosing to plan later on how he’ll nurse you back to health and eventually take you home to where you belong.

“Were you serious awhile ago?” you ask while your face is still buried to his chest, your husband unwilling to ease up because he’s missed you beyond words. “Would you really have fought with me if I didn’t come back?”

“Of course. I won’t let you break up with me until I lose my fight with you,” Jungkook answers without skipping a beat. “I’m not letting you break up with me until I know I’ve exhausted every possible way for you not to.”

“I never plan on breaking up with you,” you snort, the sudden reply making you wince because your head ached from it. You get the teasing, lightest ever possible forehead flick you could ever receive in your life, your husband hushing you to just stop talking.

“Jungkook?” you hum, making him open his eyes because they were closed from how at peace he is just by being with you. “I have an answer.”

“Answer to what?” your husband’s brows furrow, a slight pout on his lips because he can’t decipher what you’re pertaining to.

“When you basically asked me if it would still be you if you got the timing wrong and everything,” you trail, the realization finally crossing him.

You think back on all the pictures Jungkook’s taken of you, several of the many manifestations of his love for you. He hums, raising an eyebrow with a curious smile on his lips.

The words didn’t need to be said at this point because it’s an unspoken truth anyway, but with all your heart and experience of loving Jungkook, sometimes, saying the obvious wouldn’t hurt.

“The answer’s you,” you smile, warm hand finding his to flick at his wedding band. “It’s always you.”

EPILOGUE

In Terms of Eternity turned out to be a massive success that just two years later, it’s been announced to have a sequel.

Everyone’s happy with it, you yourself in a great shock over it too because you got bigger than you could ever imagine — and in the peak of it, you get to wear your wedding band to work.

The entirety of the people responsible for the drama’s in your home, one that’s a house outside of the city and not an apartment in the heart of it. It’s rightfully massive, just enough to fit everyone who’s ever contributed to the success of it.

The house was built from the ground up instead of bought, each single centimeter of space being carefully planned by you and Jungkook together. It’s new, but it’s a beautiful, exciting kind of new — one that didn’t need everything to be replaced and instead housed some of the old; just like the baby blue floor couch and the third-biggest variation of the king-sized bed that are your clear favorites.

Countless presentations have been made of letting the other win, all varying from Jungkook’s requests of having a game room and a den to your plea of commissioning to have an obscenely large painting of your choice to put in the house.

It’s a matter of yielding and loving, all of it that made this space the home of your dreams with your husband.

“Scotch for you,” Yoongi greets from nowhere as he squeezes in himself between you and Jungkook, giving the drink to your husband who surprisingly, clicked with him and is now his best friend.

He’s just about to say his next words when he sees Miso from the corner of the living room, coming to hide slightly behind Jungkook even if the cat makes no move. “God, she scares me. Did either of you ever know why she’s tried killing me multiple times already?”

“Nope. Not a single clue,” Jungkook laughs, shaking his head while he pokes a tongue to his cheek.

Yoongi lets it go, grinning as he holds your drink up. “And gin for you.”

Your mouth dries before you could even push the drink away from you, your husband already stepping in.

“Mhmm, no. No gin for my wife,” he hums, taking the glass instead to pour it into his throat all in one go.

“But you love gin!” Yoongi furrows his brows in confusion, offering you his glass of gin instead that he hasn’t sipped out of.

“I do, but I really can’t, Yoongi,” you smile, biting your lip tentatively when you raise your eyebrows at him.

You wait for a beat for your best friend to comprehend but he still doesn’t, reminding you that he could be a bit slow sometimes.

Jungkook can’t take it either that he just laughs, taking you closer to him by the waist and puts you in front of him, announcing the news in a low voice with a warm hand on your stomach.

“We’re expecting.”

#the finale <3 ty for being here with me!#jungkook imagine #jungkook oneshot #jungkook oneshots #jungkook angst #jungkook angst imagine #jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #jungkook au #jungkook scenario #jungkook fanfic #jungkook x you #bts jungkook imagine #jungkook fic recs #jungkook masterlist

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minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong · 6 years

Text

The Parting Chapter Seven

Description: The only certainty in life is death, and it seems to follow Park Jimin. All his life, the icy shadow of death has hung closely by his side, along with the shadow of…something else. Reapers exist to guide the souls of the living to the world beyond. But what happens when a particular Reaper tampers with the natural order and saves a mortal boy’s life? What will they do once their fates become inextricably linked?

Genre: Supernatural, Drama, Fluff, Angst

Pairing: Jimin x (f) OC

Word Count: 8.8k

Tags: Flower Shop Owner!Jimin, Reaper!OC, Non-Idol!AU, Cop!Yoongi, Supernatural!AU

Warnings: Death, swearing and mentions of alcohol, although infrequently

A/N: HI BABES! How are you all doing? I hope you’re doing well and if you’ve started school already, then I hope you’re not feeling too stressed. I’m still working on all the requests I have, but don’t worry! If you’ve requested something, then I will get through it within the next week or so. I’m sorry for the delay! I just have to juggle a bit between writing this fic and writing requests. As always, I will respond to all asks received within a day of receiving them, so feel free and feel comfortable sending me anything! And please send feedback, criticism, comments or concerns my way so I can address them.

AHH! And please follow @actualsoonshine! She’s such a lovely person, and my IRL friend and she just started her writing blog! If you like Seventeen and BTS, you will LOVE her!

- Mercury

Previous Chapter – Next Chapter

Chapter One

Masterlist

Weekly updates: Sunday, 1PM (PST)

Jimin sat up gently and turned to me, brows furrowed. “Nari, are you alright?”

I sobbed as I looked at him. I could tell from the innocent, fretful expression on his face. He didn’t remember. I felt inside me something altogether new. A nameless frustration that manifested in tears. I never knew I’d become so hungry for answers. I never knew that having those answers appear before me and then suddenly disappear in one fell swoop would be so incredibly infuriating. I wiped my eyes and shook my head as Jimin propped himself upright, eyes scanning me worriedly.

“You don’t remember anything?” I asked, desperation sitting heavy like fog in the air.

He shook his head. “I’m sorry. Sometimes I sleep walk a little and I don’t remember it in the morning,” he said, voice low as he scooted closer to me on his knees, placing his hands on my wet cheeks. “Nari…”

I sniffled, eyes cast on the linoleum. “It wasn’t that,” I said.

He gently guided my face closer to his so I would look at him properly. “What are you talking about? You’re starting to scare me a little.”

I felt more tears brewing in my chest, but became powerless to stop them as I looked at his pure expression. He wasn’t lying. He wasn’t withholding information from me. He simply…didn’t remember. Just like that.

“I had a dream,” I said quietly. “A really strange dream.”

He nodded. “Did you remember something? Is that why you’re crying?” he asked.

I shook my head and shooed his hands off my burning skin. “Forget it,” I said, standing shakily to my feet. “Just…go to bed.” I began towards my room but stopped short as he grabbed for my wrist, fingers tight.

“Wait! We agreed that we’d start trusting each other more. Talk to me,” he said. He was begging me.

I sniffled once more and considered shaking him off again, considered going back to bed and burying my head in the sheets where I could cry and cry and greet him in the morning as if nothing had happened at all. But he spoke again, and when he did his voice broke.

“Please.”

I turned to look at him. Perhaps subconsciously, he wanted to remember too. Perhaps deep down he knew there was something between us that went deeper than either of us imagined. Perhaps we were both the keys to unlocking it. And perhaps…perhaps if I told him what I’d been dreaming, if I let him in just a little…

Perhaps we could solve it together.

I sighed and settled on the small couch, watching the rug as Jimin joined me. “You said you knew who I was,” I said.

He stiffened beside me. “I…I don’t know why I would say something like that.”

“Me either,” I said, then met his eyes. “But you know it means something, right?”

He blinked rapidly a few times before sighing and grabbing at tufts of his hair. “I don’t know, Nari. Earlier, I was mostly playing around. Do you really think there’s something weird between us?”

I nodded. “More than I can even say,” I said. “I’m certain of it.”

He watched me carefully, reading me. He stared at me long enough for Miso to leave his bedroom and pad over to us. Long enough for me to hear the refrigerator kicking on. Long enough for my tears to nearly stop. And, after an eternity, he nodded and his hand fell from his hair to his lap.

“Okay…assuming that’s the case then…what does any of it mean?” he asked.

I sighed, patting my chest and shutting my puffy eyes. There really was a special sense of relief that came from confiding in someone. “I don’t know. But Jimin…I’ve been having really strange dreams.”

Jimin tilted his head to the side as Miso jumped onto the arm of the couch, peering at us with glowing eyes. “What kind of dreams?”

I shook my head and turned to him properly, grabbing his forearm. “Jimin, do you know what shinbyeong is?”

Jimin cocked his head and pursed his lips. “I…I’ve heard of it. It has something to do with old shamanism. Like…when a shaman was becoming a shaman they say that they’d go through shinbyeong. It’s like…,” he paused and glanced into the middle ground, thinking. “I’m trying to remember what I learned about it from high school, but it’s something about the death of the self. Like, assuming a god as yourself.”

“What?” I asked, shaking my head. “That’s impossible.” I’d have known if the spirits of gods were entering the bodies of humans. And, furthermore, I’d never even heard the term before having those dreams. “What happens during this time?”

He shrugged. “I think…it was kind of like out-of-body experiences? Hallucinations or something?”

I sighed. “It doesn’t help much,” I said. “I’ve been having dreams that I was a poor girl a long time ago. I can’t tell exactly when but I can approximate. There were kings and a royal astronomer.”

“Goryeo?” he asked.

“No,” I said. “The language wasn’t so unfamiliar. It was Joseon.”

“Huh,” he said, then shook his head. “I know this is weird, but do you believe in reincarnation?”

I shook my head. “I do not,” I said, releasing his forearm. That much was true. I did not know where souls went after being Reaped, but I knew they didn’t fly off to another body.

“Maybe you should start,” he commented, then sighed and leaned back against the couch, running a hand through his wild, fluffy hair. “Honestly, it sounds like you’re remembering a past life.”

“That’s impossible, Jimin,” I said, meeting his eyes.

He shrugged. “Why?”

Because I was not human. Because I was a Reaper. Because this was the first time I’d ever been in a human body…

Wasn’t it?

I shook my head. “Jimin, it is impossible.”

I watched him swallow roughly before he glanced away and nodded. “Then…I don’t know, Nari. It’s weird. What else did you dream of?”

“I had a family,” I said. “A younger sister and a mother and a grandmother.”

“No men? In the Joseon era?”

I nodded. “We were in the lowest social class. Cheonmin.”

He raised his brows as Miso hopped agilely off the side of the couch and onto his lap. “Not slaves?” he asked.

I shook my head. “Seems like shamanism ran through the family, although my sister was not affected. My mother did not believe in it,” I said, then coughed slightly. “Or…whoever they were.”

Jimin inhaled sharply. “And…you said I woke up saying I knew who you were?” he asked, his eyes tinged silver in the moonlight.

“Yes,” I said, watching his jaw work, clenching and unclenching.

“I…I’m sorry, but I don’t know,” he said, then huffed, causing Miso to startle and jump across the couch to my lap. “I’m so sorry, Nari.”

I shook my head. “It’s not your fault, but…,” I began, them glanced at him. His expression was weak, frustrated. “I wonder if perhaps you also had a strange dream.”

His eyes snapped towards mine. “I…I mentioned that I dream about wearing a hanbok a lot, right? Back at the hospital?”

I conjured the memory and, although it was only a week ago it felt like a lifetime. Sitting in the sterile room. Talking of dreams… I nodded. “I remember.”

“I…Nari, I know you don’t believe in this stuff, but whenever I’d have a dream like that my mom would tell me it was just…deja vu. From my past life,” he said, then scoffed. “It sounds so stupid saying it out loud, but with everything you’ve been dreaming of…it’s the only thing I can think of.”

I furrowed my brow. How did I know for certain that reincarnation was impossible? Just because I didn’t see it myself? I was a Reaper after all. I only dealt in death, not what happens after…

I sighed. “So you think…I’m remembering a past life?”

He nodded. “I don’t understand it, but,” he began, grabbing my hand, “maybe since you lost your memory…different memories are returning.” His words came out quiet, careful, like they were meticulously hand-chosen.

I nodded. “It is the most reasonable conclusion for the time being,” I said, then gave his warm, soft hand a squeeze. “If I remember anything else, can I come to you?”

He nodded eagerly and flashed a bright smile. “Of course! Anytime.”

I forced a smile and glanced away. “Thank you.”

He blinked at me and chuckled, a fluttering, nervous sound. He patted the top of my hand and withdrew his own. “Y-You’re welcome,” he said, laughing once more as he rubbed the back of his neck.

I stared at him for a long moment, scanning his soft features, the kiss of blush in his cheeks. I sighed, long and slow, and nodded. “We’ll figure it out together, then.”

I counted the bills in the cash register quietly the next morning, Jimin retrieving new buds from the greenhouse and placing the pots prettily along the countertops. Jin had Wednesdays off, so the two of us worked quietly alone. As I counted the last of the money I tilted my head to the side, furrowing my brow. Jimin’s shop was surprisingly wealthy for such a small place. I glanced at him as he worked, a soft smile on his lips, lashes brushing against his cheeks as he focused on the pots. I smiled too. There was some relief at least in sharing my burdens.

The front door bells tinkled and a patron entered the shop. I was midway through standing straighter to greet them when I saw who it was. “Oh, Jisoo,” I said with a chuckle.

She approached the desk, her hair pulled back with a delicate floral pin on one side. She leaned forward at the waist and rested her hands on the counter, her chin on her hands. She smiled up at me and, coyly, turned her head to the side slightly, revealing the pin. I glanced at her, placing the money into Jimin’s tackle box, and took a proper look at her new accessory. As I did, my eyebrows raised and I smiled.

“Lilies,” I said.

She grinned and leaned away, popping her hip to the side and resting a hand on her pleated skirt. “Pretty right?” she asked.

I nodded. “It suits you,” I said. “But I get the sense that there’s something more to it.”

She laughed and nodded her head eagerly. “It’s a gift,” she said, flipping her tidy hair behind her shoulder. “From that boy.”

My eyes widened. “You don’t say!”

She nodded. “I do say.”

Jimin approached and stood beside me, easily draping an arm over my shoulders. I felt myself flush and glanced away, back towards the register. “Our Jisoo looks so pretty today!” he exclaimed, laughing.

Jisoo rolled her eyes. “I’m not going to take compliments from any other boys from now own,” she said, then smiled at her hands, clasped around the handle of her book bag. “Since I have someone I like now.”

I grinned. “What progress you’ve made!”

She met my eyes and nodded vigorously. “It’s thanks to you! After we talked yesterday, I realized it was better for me to be there for him like he really needed rather than trying to take care of him without him knowing.”

“And?” I encouraged.

She smiled. “And it turns out he knew it was me all along,” she said, bashfully rubbing the back of her neck. She chuckled. “He was just waiting for me to come and talk to him properly. He bought this for me after I got him that bouquet you recommended, Jimin.”

“Ah, the lilies,” I said, nodding.

Jisoo cocked her head to the side and peered up at me. “But you weren’t there, Nari. How would you know?”

I coughed into the crook of my elbow and shook my head. “I just meant the lilies on your hairpin,” I said.

She furrowed her brow and nodded. “Well, anyway we’ve agreed to eat lunch together now.”

“Good for you, Jisoo. I’m glad things worked out so well,” said Jimin, then chuckled softly. I felt it rumble in his chest, just beside my shoulder. My heart thundered. “Although I don’t really know what you’re talking about exactly.”

Jisoo waved her hand. “I’ll fill you in later,” she said. “For now, I’d better get to class. I just wanted to show Nari the pin.”

I couldn’t help the smile that touched my lips. I met her eyes and gently reached across the counter to smooth her hair down, tucking it behind the pin carefully. “It looks beautiful.”

She beamed at me. “Thank you,” she said. “I’ll be sure to come visit again sometime soon! Maybe I’ll be able to bring him with me this time.”

I nodded. “I’d love to meet him.”

“Me too!” added Jimin, leaning one hand on the counter as Jisoo ran out the door and onto the sidewalk, waving wildly over one shoulder. “She’s cute,” he remarked.

I slipped from beneath his arm and nodded. “She is a good girl.”

Jimin smiled down at me. “You like her don’t you?” he asked.

I glanced away. “Of course not. I’m…fond of her precociousness.” I cleared my throat and ran a hand through my hair.

He flicked the side of my head and shook his own. “You’re allowed to care about people,” he said, then chuckled. “The way I see it, you care a lot more than you realize.”

I stiffened. “How so?” I asked.

He shrugged. “I know you have some information that would’ve put Jungkook in a tougher spot,” he said, turning on his heel as he made his way back towards the greenhouse. He glanced at me over his shoulder and smiled. “But you chose not to share it. I wonder why.”

I blinked at him. “It’s nothing special! Just…,” I began, but by the time I’d composed myself enough to respond, cheeks aflame, he was already walking into the greenhouse, chuckling and waving at me before shutting the door.

I pushed a grocery cart while Jimin piled food items into the basket: breads, meats, packages of ramen and other processed food I didn’t even recognize. We rode through the aisles together, the fuzzy overhead speakers playing a song that was popular ten years ago. Few people were roaming the store in the middle of the day, the aisles sitting pristine before us as we turned down each one. Jimin paused in front of the cereal boxes, causing me to bump his hip with the shopping cart. I backed away and stared at him with wide eyes.

“Sorry,” I said, glancing toward the cereal. “What’s wrong? We need to get back to the store soon.”

Jimin waved his hand at me. “Say, Nari what do you like? Like…food?” he asked.

I stiffened and pursed my lips. “I…wouldn’t really know.”

He sighed and nodded, still stewing over the cereal. “I wanna take good care of you so you can remember something more.”

My cheeks warmed and I smiled at my hands, clamping them around the cart a little tighter. “I’ll be fine regardless of which cereal you purchase, Jimin.”

He pouted slightly and nodded. “You’re right.” He smiled at me and grabbed a box before jerking his head toward the register.

The employee checked our items and stowed them neatly away, and we made our way out towards the exit. We only made it a few paces before a familiar, joyful voice called after us, “Hey!”

I turned towards the back of the store and noticed an older employee smacking the back of another employee’s head. Dark, untidy hair. Red patterned bandana. I smiled. Jungkook had gotten a job? I decided not to bother him while he worked and instead adjusted my hold on the groceries.

Jimin opened the door and held it for me to walk through, but as he did, he stepped back to walk beside me. Our steps were identical as we walked through the empty aisle. Every swaying step we took caused the backs of our hands to brush just slightly. Neither of us moved slightly to prevent it. Neither of us even looked at the other. But there was a strange shift occurring. I’d noticed it particularly in recent days. Jimin was becoming more and more comfortable touching me. Under normal circumstances, perhaps I’d have found it strange. But maybe I was too enamored. Maybe a part of me believed that if I allowed us to move closer…I could figure something out. Capture something elusive about those odd dreams which had been evading me. After all, it seemed we were intertwined somehow.

Or was I just giving myself an excuse to be greedy?

We walked back to the store, chatting idly, each of us holding two pager bags of groceries.The weather was fine and, for a brief moment, I was grateful to have a body to enjoy it with. I felt my senses were rather acute, like my body was anticipating something. I glanced around, down towards the uneven pavement, up towards the bleached buildings, up towards Jimin’s grinning face. We neared the shop, the greenhouse catching sunlight and sending it off in prisms. My steps slowed and Jimin matched me subtly as something caught my eye on the ground. Glittering in the light, fractals of something sat at awkward angles. I could almost swear it was glass…

As we approached the steps up toward the apartment, I paused. Jimin was still engrossed in his story about a middle school soccer game, but my attention was seized. “Wait,” I said, holding my hand up and resting the groceries on the bottom step of the stairs.

Jimin stopped and stared down at me. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

I shook my head and walked, tentative, towards the front of the shop. Something was pooling in my stomach and I recognized it at once. I’d felt it the night I’d saved Jimin.

Dread.

I stopped dead in my tracks as I stared at the front of the shop. I’d been right, this fractals on the ground were shards of broken glass still falling onto the ground from the windowsill as the breeze knocked them around. It must have occurred rather recently, as the door stood swinging on its hinges. I took high, careful steps around them to avoid puncturing the toes left exposed by my sandals and held my hand up behind me as Jimin approached too quickly.

“Hold on,” I said, eyes set on the floor. “There’s glass.”

“What?” he asked, and I heard his steps rushing forward despite my warning. “Wait, why-,” he began, then stopped speaking as he noticed the broken window. “Oh my God.”

I nodded and wrapped my palm in my shirt, trying to preserve any residual DNA, twisting the door handle. “I’ll go look around-,”

“Absolutely not,” said Jimin, grabbing my shoulder and wheeling me backwards.

I stared up at him with wide eyes. “Excuse me?”

He shook his head. “Nari, you could get hurt. What if someone’s still in there?” he asked.

I furrowed my brow and cocked my head. “Then I’ll be able to identify them.”

“Nari,” he said, tone stern and low. My heart raced. “I said you could get hurt.”

I shrugged. “If so, then that’s fine. I’d rather catch the culprit,” I said, then sighed at the damage in front of me. From what I could see in the store, numerous pots had been shoved from the shelves and the cash register had been forcefully pried open. Thank God I’d removed it that morning. “You’ve already been attacked. What will I do if that man isn’t caught?”

He stared down at me with smoldering eyes and a stiff jaw. “Nari, this isn’t something to take lightly. This is damage of property. Someone forced their way into the shop. They might have a weapon.”

I remembered what Yoongi said. If anyone else died, it was on my shoulders. After years of taking lives, why now did the thought of being responsible for someone’s death feel so serious?

I sighed and shook him off. “Jimin, does that matter?” I asked. “What if this is the only chance we get to catch him? To clear Jungkook’s name? To keep you safe?”

He leveled his gaze with mine and set his lips in a straight line. “If you go in there, I won’t forgive you.”

I swallowed hard, catching a hint of that earthy smell he had on the lazy breeze. I glanced away, back towards the ground, and chewed on the inside of my cheek. The day Hyungwon and I had fought, I was certain Jimin would hate me. I was certain that after everything he said, every request of his that I hadn’t heeded, he would surely cast me aside. But he’d forgiven me. Surprisingly easily, at that.

But this time…he wouldn’t. I could see it in his eyes. Normally lustrous and bright, now the endless brown of his eyes seemed dark, troubled, serious. I blinked at him before taking a step back, away from the shop’s front door. I sighed and crossed my arms, shaking his hand off my shoulder, and walked towards the steps beside the shop, sitting down beside the groceries we’d left behind.

Quietly, Jimin approached and pulled his cell phone from his back pocket. He typed a number and pressed it against his ear without looking at me. He was silhouetted beautifully against the radiant sun, and normally I’d have admired it for a moment. But I was frustrated. Frustrated with him.

Just like that day with Hyungwon, it felt suffocatingly familiar.

I rested my head against the railing and sat with crossed arms as Jimin began speaking. “Hey. Someone broke into the shop. I don’t know when, but…,” he paused and listened quietly, voice terse. “Yeah. I’m not comfortable having Nari here, so could she maybe…yeah, that’d be good.”

My eyes snapped towards him and I furrowed my brows. He avoided my gaze. “Jimin,” I said, loud enough for the person on the other end to hear.

He cleared his throat. “Alright. We’ll wait here for you…five minutes? Okay.” He hung up the phone and slid it into his back pocket, coming around to sit beside me on the stairs.

I edged away and leaned against the railing once more. “Sending me away?” I asked.

“It’s safer.”

“I sincerely dislike when you decide things like this for me,” I said, staring out at the stone wall separating the street from the cliff face. “It infuriates me.”

He sighed. “It’s because you are totally incapable of making normal decisions,” he said.

I scoffed and angled my body away from his. “I am making perfectly rational decisions,” I said, then shrugged. “Seems you prefer to choose emotionally.”

“Do you just, like…not value your life? Or what?” he asked, clearly getting riled up.

I watched a car zoom past and rolled my eyes, although I wasn’t sure when I’d learned to do that. “Nothing would have happened, and if it did that would have helped your case,” I said. “Now the perpetrator is long gone from here. No chance of catching him now.”

Jimin laughed, but it was bitter. “Alright, so it’s my fault for wanting to keep you safe.”

“Yes,” I said. “What value do I have if not to help you?” I asked, then shook my head. I’d said too much.

He huffed. “That’s insane. If you really think that way, then it makes me very uncomfortable,” he said, staring at me with heavy eyes.

I met his gaze and furrowed my brow. “You have no idea what you are talking about,” I said, surprised at the bite in my own words.

He raised a brow. “I don’t? Then explain it.”

How could I? How could I tell him that the only reason I was human was because of him? “Forget it. Just…ignore me,” I said, settling once more against the railing. “This conversation is meaningless.”

“Do you really like me that much?” he asked, a cruel laugh escaping him. “You hardly know me. Please get a handle on your feelings.”

I felt my throat tighten. I tried to remember a time in the years I’d watched over him when he’d said something so unkind. Nothing came to mind. Did he really think all that? Did he truly want me to collect my emotions and settle them somewhere else? After asking me to trust him, after touching me and smiling at me and making himself dear to me? Was that really fair? I glanced at him and saw his gaze was locked far away.

“If that’s what you want,” I said, nodding. I watched two police vehicles slow to a stop on the side of the road and stood to my feet, walking towards them.

Jimin sighed and I turned to watch him kick a bag of groceries harshly, scattering the contents across the cement. I shook my head and walked to the edge of the sidewalk. Namjoon exited the first car while the second one idled. I stiffened as his penetrating eyes landed on me. Was he perhaps still upset with me? Had he not had enough time to cool down? My heart pounded.

Slowly, he offered a small, dimpled smile which set my nerves at ease slightly. I sighed and retuned the gesture. “Hello,” I said.

He bowed his head. “Hi,” he said, then examined the damage over my shoulder. “God…I’m sorry you’ve been through all of this.”

I shrugged as Jimin stood beside me. “I suppose I’m only involved by proxy,” I said with a dismissive shrug. “I shouldn’t be especially bothered, should I?”

Jimin groaned. “Nari!” he exclaimed beside me.

I met his eyes and shrugged. “It’s true isn’t it? They’re your problems after all,” I said, returning my attention to Namjoon. “What should I do? Jimin’s sending me off somewhere, right?”

Namjoon nodded. “Yoongi is waiting in the other patrol car. Please go with him to the station,” he said, smiling at me.

I sighed and felt my shoulders fall. “I think I would prefer the crime scene,” I mumbled, but as I turned to look at Jimin I found his brows lowered and his gaze sturdy, irritated. I swallowed and bowed my head to him. “I’ll be going then.”

I stepped away towards the second patrol car and opened the door. Yoongi stared straight ahead, not so much as making eye contact with me. I settled beside him and latched my seatbelt. “Are you not assisting Namjoon in this investigation?”

Yoongi bristled and his grip on the steering wheel tightened. “He thought it would be better to keep me and Jimin apart for a little while.”

I chuckled as he started the engine. “I suppose that’s best.”

“And you?” he asked with a smirk and a sly glance my way. “You’re being exiled too.”

I stiffened and leaned back in the seat, watching the road before us as it stretched along the cliffside. “Just drive.”

Yoongi had a surprisingly gentle expression while he worked. I sat opposite him at his unruly desk, reclining against the stiff chair he’d given me as he shuffled through papers. Occasionally, a sigh would escape him or he’d work a hand over his jaw. Watching him that way mad a thin sliver of guilt course through me. Of course he was rough and caustic, but I wondered if perhaps he had a reason to be. I wondered if I’d been to quick to write him off. Perhaps, just like Jungkook who looked rather harsh, he was soft inside. Maybe he was like Hyungwon: scaly exterior revealing an innocent heart. I watched him carefully. His eyes stayed steadfast on his papers, scanning then, and now and then his dark hair would slip onto his eyelid and he’d flick it away with a huff and a pout.

Half an hour passed before he spoke.

“Can you stop staring at me?” he asked quietly.

I continued observing his fine motions as he lifted his gaze to meet mine. “What else am I meant to do?”

He sighed and sat upright, folding his arms across his chest. “Why did Jimin send you away?” he asked. “Aren’t you his pet or whatever?”

Indignation rose in my chest and I sat straighter. “I am not,” I said, remembering Jimin’s words. He wanted me to sort out my feelings after all. “I wanted to investigate the shop in case the person responsible was still inside, but he opposed.”

He chuckled. “You sure you’re not his pet?” he asked.

I opened my mouth to retort, but simply sighed and shrugged. I’d grown tired of fighting. “I think I’m worse than a pet,” I said, shaking my head. “Even Miso makes her own choices.”

Yoongi raised a brow. The air between us was different than before, perhaps less acidic. I wondered what could have caused such a shift as he smiled softly and arranged his papers. “Well…for what it’s worth, I think you had the right idea.”

I nodded. “It’s only rational.”

“I agree.”

“And if I got hurt, then at least he would have been caught,” I said. “We gave him every opportunity to get away, and then afforded him extra time for cleanup.”

“It was a critical time period that could have been used to further the investigation,” said Yoongi with a nod as he set the documents aside and laced his fingers, resting his chin atop them as he examined me. “I’m surprised we think alike for once.”

I set my lips thin and glanced away towards the wall beside me. “Perhaps we think alike in more ways than we know,” I said with a shrug.

He chuckled. “You never know.”

“Do you have any hypotheses about who could have done it?” I asked.

He shrugged and leaned back in his cushioned chair. “Well, it’s most likely the same man who stabbed Jimin in the first place. He’s a target now.”

I furrowed my brow. “It seems likely but…,” I began then sighed. “But the reasoning seems strange. You’re watching for him very closely. Why would he make such dangerous moves just for one victim that escaped?”

“Seems like a rookie move,” he said with a nod. “It’s weird.”

“Do you still think it’s Jungkook?” I asked quietly, watching his expression fall slightly.

“I don’t know,” he said. “Truth be told…well, what you said the other day kind of messed with me. Am I looking at this case objectively or am I trying to force the pieces to fit my own narrative? For my ego?”

I raised my brows. “You thought about it?”

He scoffed. “Am I an idiot?” he asked, sighing and averting his eyes. “Of course I thought about it. You had a point anyway.”

I smiled. Humans were pretty charming. “Well I’m glad you’re moving on to other suspects.”

He glanced up at me. “We haven’t yet though,” he said. “And especially after today. Intimidation is usually associated with gang activity. And with the crowd Jungkook runs in-,”

“It wasn’t him,” I said. “This time I’m certain. Jungkook was working.”

Yoongi raised his brows. “Working?”

I nodded. “At the supermarket.”

Yoongi laughed. “He tried to rob the owner and now he’s working there?” he asked, smiling to himself. “That kid…”

“So he has an alibi.”

Yoongi shifted forward to look at me. “Or it’s more elaborate than that,” he said, smirking. “Maybe they did it during his shift to take the heat off of Jungkook’s back.”

I stiffened. “I…I don’t think so,” I said, rubbing my chin. “Hyungwon and Taehyung came with Jungkook to the shop yesterday evening. They were nothing but cordial. Apologetic even.”

Yoongi exhaled slowly. “All I’m saying is that it’s possible this is more complex than we think,” he said.

I nodded. “On that, we agree.”

He smiled, almost mischievous, and glanced at me. “That’s twice today.”

I shrugged. “Please don’t read too much into it.”

He nodded. “Well…I guess you’ve been kinda helpful,” he said with a sigh. He crossed his legs and rested his hand atop his knee. “Talking with you gave me some new ideas.”

I pursed my lips. Again, nobody was in the facility. I supposed in such a small town the police force wasn’t all that large. Distantly, I heard the hum of chatter, perhaps coming from one of the private offices. But in that dim, cold room I couldn’t help but feel slightly sympathetic towards Yoongi. How often was he alone here? “Do you not have anyone else to talk with about the case?”

He shook his head. “Joon’s giving me the cold shoulder lately,” he said, then laughed. “Nobody else in the office likes me all that much, so they’re not options.”

I shook my head. “That doesn’t seem right.”

“Hm?” he asked, eyes round, almost doe-like.

I swallowed and glanced away, disarmed. “Well…you should maintain healthy interpersonal relationships if you intend to live a healthy life.”

He laughed. “Weird way to say I’m antisocial, but…”

I met his eyes and sighed. “You’re not so bad like this,” I said. “If you could show this face to the others…I’m sure they’d like you.”

His high cheeks went slightly pink and he cleared his throat. “Well…anyway, thanks for talking it out with me. You’re…you’re not that bad either, Jane Doe.”

I blinked. “What exactly is this?” I asked, pointing between us. “Are we friends now?”

He sputtered a laugh and leaned into his chair, tilting his head back as he continued laughing. “Where did that come from?” he asked.

I shrugged and pointed at him again. “You were being warmer to me! I only assumed naturally based on the conversation and atmosphere-,”

“Acquaintances,” he said, nodding. He smiled at me. “Acquaintances until we don’t benefit each other anymore.”

I blinked. “Rather…pragmatic.”

He nodded. “Gotta be in life,” he said. “Anyway, you want some coffee? I’ve got some in the back.”

I cringed at the memory of that bitter drink and shook my head. “No thank you.”

He chuckled. “We’ve got some snacks too. How about you come take a look and see if you want anything,” he offered, standing and gesturing towards the break room in the back of the office room.

I followed suit. As I stood to my feet and dusted off my pants, Yoongi turned to me and, with a smirk, added, “Please don’t read too much into it.”

Yoongi offered me a copy of a novel Namjoon had loaned him, Demian, to read while he worked. We sat quietly opposite one another, neither one intruding on the other’s private time. A half-empty cup of sweet orange juice sat in front of me as I reclined against the chair, letting my mind wander as I read the story, scanning the pages easily as a comfortable silence enveloped us. Every now and again, Yoongi would make a sound that would rouse my attention, causing me to move only my eyes to inspect him. Every time, I found him in the same position: gaze downcast, tabbing through papers or typing at the computer, elbows resting firmly on the desk. It was as if his body was making the noises without his knowledge. Little coughs here and there, exhalations that sounded like sighs. I wondered how much stress he was under.

Again, guilt descended upon me. Was I doing the right thing opposing him so steadfastly? Was I defending Jimin by opposing him? Or was I simply being cruel? I was learning every day that the world was not as binary as I used to think. Right and wrong, sympathy and apathy, one side and the other. It seemed everything was separated not by uncrossable roads but thin, transparent, fading lines. My eyes fell again upon the worn pages of Namjoon’s book as Sinclair spoke about the painting of the woman.

“We’re back,” called a voice from the entrance.

I snapped upright and glanced towards the source. Nearly two hours had passed, with noon turning to midday without my notice. Namjoon sighed and removed his light jacket, setting it atop his desk as Jimin followed behind with crossed arms. I watched him, gauging his expression for any sign of regret or apology.

None was present.

I crossed my legs and returned to my book, sparing Namjoon a soft smile as he approached. “Did you find him?”

He sighed. “Unfortunately no,” he said. “Looks like he fled the scene pretty quickly after breaking in. He tried to rob the register and then ran on foot out the back through the workroom.”

I nodded. “Do you have a timeframe for the incident?” I asked.

Namjoon settled in the seat beside me as Jimin lingered to the side, avoiding looking at Yoongi who was avoiding looking at him. “Probably fifteen to twenty minutes before we got there.”

I hummed. “Pretty quick,” I remarked, then met Jimin’s eyes from my seat below him. “I can’t help but feel like I could’ve done more. Since it happened so shortly before we arrived.”

Jimin inhaled as if to speak, but Namjoon beat him to it. “We wouldn’t want you risking getting hurt just to find this guy,” he said, rubbing his forehead. “If it really is the killer, he’s already hurt enough people.”

I shrugged. “Might’ve helped the investigation at least if I’d gone inside.”

“I agree,” said Yoongi. “Who cares about personal injury when a killer is walking around?” he asked. “Seems like Nari is thinking seriously about all of this.”

“Enough,” said Jimin, sharp eyes scanning me. “Nari wasn’t thinking. That’s the problem. Being brave and being careless are different.”

I glanced at Namjoon who shifted uncomfortably in his seat with a sigh. “Anyway, do you have any leads?” I asked.

He shook his head. “Since Jimin doesn’t keep cameras in the shop, there’s not a lot to go on.”

“Hm,” I said, sipping my orange juice. “I like this book, Namjoon.”

He glanced at the novel in my hands and grinned. “Oh yeah? Yoongi let you borrow it?” he asked, then chuckled. “It’s a good read.”

I smiled and handed it to him. “I like that line — what was it?” I began, flipping through the files of memories in my mind until I landed upon it. “If a person is afraid of someone, it’s because he has allowed that someone to acquire power over him.”

Namjoon’s brows raised. “Funny, I liked that line too,” he said.

I peered up at Jimin as he sighed and crossed his arms. “Nari, we should leave. I’m booking you a hotel room.”

I stood up and scoffed. “When was I going to be informed of this?”

“Just now,” he said, jerking his head towards the exit. “Let’s go. It’s right down the street. I’ll walk with you.”

I rolled my eyes. “No. If you’re going to make me stay someplace, then I may as well stay here,” I said, turning towards Yoongi who watched us bicker with a sly smile. “You operate during the night, right?”

Yoongi shrugged. “Sure do.”

“Nari!” shouted Jimin, setting his jaw firmly. “Let’s go.”

I huffed. “If you continue to insist on being my benefactor, then I have no choice but to refuse!”

“What’s wrong with that? I’m just trying to take care of you since you don’t have anyone else to do it! You seem pretty damn ungrateful to the person who’s been taking responsibility for you,” he said, shaking his head.

I nodded. “Responsibility?” I asked, all anger fleeing from my body, replaced with something far worse. Hurt.

He raked his hands through his hair. “I can’t deal with you right now. Meet me outside or don’t,” he said, waving his hands before turning on his heel and storming out the front door.

I stared after him before sighing and rubbing my forehead. “I’ll go then,” I said.

Yoongi laughed. “After all that?” he asked.

I smiled softly and shrugged. “I never intended to be obstinate until the end,” I said. “I just…I want him to understand me.”

“He’s having a hard time,” said Namjoon gently from below, giving me a smile. Although there was still something odd between us, uncomfortable.

I glanced away. “I know. I will try to be softer with him,” I said, then smiled at Namjoon. “May I come back sometime to finish the book?”

His back went straight and he nodded quickly. “Anytime you want.”

I nodded. “Thank you for keeping me company, Yoongi,” I said, waving at the dark-haired man as he chuckled my way, tossing a lazy hand in the air in response.

I walked outside to find Jimin leaning against the front of the police station, kicking dirt on the ground. It seemed there was still something irreconcilably different about the two of us. Despite promising to figure things out together, I was beginning to wonder if we could. We were both too stubborn, perhaps. I was used to being alone and making my own decisions, so his well-meaning care felt like an imposition. Likewise, Jimin was likely used to caring for himself so caring for another person could be difficult.

And besides, I was nothing more than a responsibility. An obligation.

I was a burden to the one person I valued above anyone else.

He lifted his heavy gaze to meet mine and sighed. “Why fight if you’re gonna do it anyway?” he asked.

I said nothing and simply stood at his side. “If you’ll tell me where the hotel is, I can go alone,” I said, avoiding meeting his eyes.

He groaned and threw his head back. “Jesus Christ, Nari. Enough of the drama!” he said, grabbing my shoulders and forcing me to look at him. “I’m looking out for you.”

“I understand,” I said, nodding. “Now if you’ll just tell me where it is-,”

“God damnit!” he shouted, shoving his hair off his forehead before taking my hand in his and wheeling me down the street.

I struggled against his grip. “No! Jimin, no! I can go alone!” I yelled, writhing backwards.

He was stronger than me, however, and easily overpowered me. He walked ahead, clasping my hand so tightly the blood rushed out of it, and led the way down the sidewalk. After a few moments of protesting, I sighed and simply walked behind him, watching the ground as my feet slapped against it. There was a heavy silence, the kind that you can feel, and I jammed my free hand in the pocket of my slacks.

The hotel came into view at the end of the block and I was thankful for the rather short walk. But my legs were tired from keeping up with his ruthless pace, so once we entered the lavish lobby and Jimin released my hand to speak with the receptionist, I gave my thighs a quick squeeze before massaging my wrist. He’d been too rough — not rough enough to hurt me, but rough enough to make me sad. He’d mentioned that he was scary when he was angry, but I never imagined that anger would be turned on me.

Perhaps I really was a heavy burden.

He turned back to me and, without looking at me, took my hand once more. His grip was softer this time, more yielding. I walked beside him with furrowed brows, watching his face as he stared ahead. He didn’t even spare me a single glance, simply pushing the call button for the gilded elevator and leading us inside silently. He pressed the button for my floor and released my hand to fold his arms over his chest, brow heavy and eyes dark.

I wasn’t going to be the one to break the silence. Not for stubbornness or hurt, but rather because I’d lost the confidence to speak comfortably with him. How long had he been seeing me as a responsibility? How much of what he’d done for me had been done out of obligation? How much had I asked of him without even knowing it? The fact alone that he wished for me to settle my emotions for him was telling enough…

We arrived at the tenth floor and he walked out first, leaving me again to follow. This time, however, I didn’t fight. I simply walked a few paces behind him in silence and when he slid the electronic key through the reader in one of the doors and swung it open, I walked inside after him. He placed the plastic key card on the table in front of the big bed and turned to me, meeting my eyes for the first time since we entered the hotel.

“You’ll stay here until I get the shop cleaned up,” he said.

I swallowed and glanced away, towards the wide windows behind his back overlooking the endless ocean. “I can just…go stay at the police station instead,” I said, rubbing my hands together.

He stiffened and stared at me. “What?” he asked.

My throat felt tight. “I never considered the position I’d been putting you in all this time. I feel like I may have overstayed my welcome and expected too much from you,” I said with a nod.

He sighed. “Is this because of what I sat outside the shop? About sorting out your feelings?” he asked.

I shook my head and met his eyes. “It’s not just that,” I said, forcing a smile. “Of all the people in the world…you’re the last one I want to burden.”

His expression softened as he looked at me, his brows now knitting. “Nari…,” he said.

“It’s okay,” I said with a smile. “Really. We can still…help each other. But I think I was expecting too much.”

“Stop it,” he said, voice gentle as he walked closer. “You know I say stupid shit when I’m mad.”

I nodded. “But even if you don’t realize it, those might be your real thoughts,” I said. “And you have every right to have them.”

“It’s not that, Nari.”

“Back when Hyungwon tried to hit you, you said something similar,” I said softly, wringing my hands. So much guilt was weighing on my shoulders lately. “You said I’d caused you a lot of trouble.”

“You know I didn’t mean that,” he said. “It slipped out because I was mad.”

“I don’t want to cause trouble for you-,”

“Nari!” he shouted, placing both hands on my face, causing me to meet his eyes. As I did, I felt tears brimming over my eyelids and falling onto my hot cheeks. He wiped them away carefully, smoothing his fingers over my skin. “Do you know how worried I was about you?”

I swallowed my tears, but they kept falling. “What?”

He stepped closer and I stepped back. “Back then and today too. I’m so worried about you, every day,” he said, eyes scanning my face as he set his jaw. “You care so much about me that you’re always putting yourself in dangerous situations. Someday, you’re really gonna get hurt because of me.”

I shook my head. “I told you there’s no other reason for me to be here,” I said. “If I’m not protecting you, then it’s all useless.”

He shook his head. “I don’t understand,” he said gently, thumb rubbing softly against my cheek. Unconsciously, I leaned into his touch. “There’s so much that I don’t understand, Nari. But…more than anything I don’t understand why, from the start, I feel this way about you.”

I stiffened and took another small step backwards, countering his forward step. “What are you talking about?”

“Why does the thought of you getting hurt make me so angry? From the very beginning, I couldn’t stand it,” he said. “I don’t care if you hate me, but you can’t get hurt.”

My skin felt hot, especially so beneath his gentle fingers. “I-,”

He took another step, forcing me back against the hotel door. My eyes widened as I stared up at him. His cheeks were pink and his eyes were tender, warm. “You don’t cause trouble for me,” he said. “But having you around makes me so confused. Because every day I care about you more and I don’t understand how.”

“What?”

“I’ve spent my whole life being careful of people,” he said, the puff of breath from his sigh brushing my hair off my forehead. “It’s…it’s so scary to let people close, you know? They could leave so suddenly and then what?” he said, shaking his head. “So I take my time. Always.”

I blinked. “You have so many friends.”

He chuckled, eyes dropping. “That’s not the same,” he said. “You’re the only one who’s seen me like this. You’re the only one who makes me so mad.”

“That’s a bad thing,” I whispered, more tears spilling.

He shook his head and wiped them away. “You don’t get it,” he said, voice breaking. “I shouldn’t care about you this much. We hardly know each other and still…you’re shaking me up every day.”

My heart fluttered and my stomach felt light, as if I’d fallen from a great height. I balled my hands into fists and scanned his features. “Jimin, what are you saying?”

“I don’t know,” he said, moving his face closer to mine. I could see every detail in his eyes, every long dark eyelash. “But you’re not a burden. It’s not you who needs to sort out your feelings. It’s me.”

I swallowed something tight in my throat and watched him carefully as his hand moved to the back of my neck, holding me in place. “I…I think you’re confused,” I said, but my words were weak like my resolve. I could feel my knees shaking at his proximity. Every centimeter between us was charged, and I was hyperaware of his chest heaving so close to mine.

“Then let me try to clear it up,” he said, nodding at me with worried eyes, as if asking permission.

I could say nothing more. It took everything I had within me to stand erect without falling. He was frustratingly handsome, even up close. Since when had I found him so beautiful? The delicate curve of his lips, the smooth rosiness in his full cheeks, the softness of his hands on my skin. It was inexplicable. And as he moved closer, I didn’t turn away. I was not naive. I knew what he was doing to clear up his emotions. I knew what was coming, even before his lips touched mine.

But when they did, I could no longer keep my eyes open and my hands, holding all the tension in my body, released against my thighs. His lips were soft and gentle against mine, almost pleading, and very warm. I felt his nose brush against my cheek and flush as he eased my lips apart. I didn’t protest. I didn’t want to. The sensation of it was not only intoxicating, it was…familiar.

He took my lower lip between his own, eliciting a gasp from me that made his grip on my neck tighten. Without meaning to, my hands found their way to his wrists, holding tightly to his forearms until one slipped down to my waist, pulling my body flush against his. I was feeling hot, and as he embraced me I felt even hotter. My stomach did flips and my heart was pounding loudly in my ears. He pulled away and unwittingly I followed, only to crash his lips against mine again, forcing me back against the door once more. His hand roamed my lower back and my own raised to clutch his shoulders, fingers digging into his skin. I ran a hand through his soft hair, pushing it back from his forehead as I’d watched him do countless times. He sighed against my lips and chills ran up my spine.

“Nari,” he whispered against me, pulling back once more and opening his eyes. “I…”

I blinked up at him, my face flushed and my hands starting to shake. My knees felt unsteady and I had to hold onto his shoulders to remain standing. As I took in his unruly hair, his reddened lips, and his tender eyes my vision began to blur, darkness encroaching from the sides. I began to feel lightheaded. Was this what happened when humans kissed? Was that why they wrote so many songs about it? He scanned my features, eyes hooded as if he may kiss me again. But as he leaned in once more, the darkness overtook my vision and the last thing I felt was my body collapsing against his.

And the last thing I heard was Jimin’s panicked voice calling, “Nari!”

73 notes · View notes

awakeshedreams · 6 years

Text

Parachute {7}

Summary: Jungkook would do whatever to keep you safe.

Pairing: Jungkook X Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut.

Wordcount: 3K

Warning: light swearing. Mention of death.

A/N: Hello friends :) a quite heavy angst themed chapter oof 😳 a couple of chapters left fr this time hehe tbh I'm kind of nervous to end it because sjsjjsjs I don't know :( anyways I hope you all have a great day/night 💜 sorry for the spelling or grammatical errors I've edited again and again but there'll definitely be something.

*italics are flashbacks

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Jungkook sneers with flared nostrils as his grip tightens around the brunettes wrists, instead of showing any sign of pain or struggle to get out of his grip, she smiles. She was enjoying it.

“I just came to visit you Kookie, don't you miss me? ” She pouts and Jungkook scoffs.

“I don’t know how the fuck you got in here but you better leave and I better not see you again.” He threats, throwing her hand away as he walks past her. He has some thing more important to do, finding you.

Miso almost trips when their shoulders brush against each other and she clenches her fists in embarrassment and dejection before turning around.

“You know I’m the only one who can handle you, she'll get tired. The only one who knows about you. You know that.” She blurts out, making Jungkook stop in tracks, exhaling deeply, tongue poking at his left cheek.

He was going to snap.

Jungkook freezes as his eyes widen. You must have been the one to let Miso in, it was just the two of you here. And if that’s the case and you’re currently nowhere to be seen, she must have said some thing to you. And knowing Miso, she definitely would have said something.

Jungkook turns hot on his heels as he slowly walks towards Miso, a wry smile etching on her lips as she crosses her arms over her chest.

“What did you say to her?” He growls lowly and Miso just laughs.

“Oh Jungkook,” she says as she uncrossed her arms, her red painted nails trailing down from his collar bones, solid chest and ridged abdomen to the band of his sweatpants before Jungkook grabs her hand and glares at it.

“Are you scared?” She whispers as she gets closer to his face, the smell of her perfume as intoxicating as ever, a scent he once found comfort in and seeked but now it made him dizzy and nauseous in all the bad ways.

She bites her lip, before she abruptly place a kiss in the corner of his lips with a smirk, leaving a faint red stain.

Jungkook tenses up as he looks at the mischievous girl with wide eyes.

He feels his blood boil to the max as he stared at the her with eyes filled with spite and anger.

“Leave,” He growls but the girl simply smiles as she bites her lips.

“But Kookie-" Just then the sound of some thing dropping makes Jungkook freeze and the dark haired girl of him just grins as she looks past him.

Jungkook had been so consumed by anger and hate that he didn’t even hear the front door open.

You had went out with Hoseok this morning to get groceries. Today was Jungkook's birthday and although you always made a special dish, the boys had suggested this time making him seaweed soup. Usually Namjoon's wife would help you but she was gone so Seokjin said he would over the phone.

Hoseok came earlier saying he came to pick you up to go grocery shopping because Seokjin was busy with some wedding stuff at the moment, reminding you to leave a note telling Jungkook where you would be before you left. He laughed when you asked him if he was going to be cooking, telling you he really can’t proper cook even if it would save his life.

“Jungkook! We're back !” Hoseok chirps as he joins you at where you stood frozen with grocery bags plopped on the floor. Hoseok's furrows his brows before following your gaze freezing when he sees Miso and Jungkook. He must admit, from the angle it looks quite suspect.

Before Jungkook can turn to face you and Hoseok you look away.

“Um I’ll be in for a while. Sorry about this but can you help keep this for me?” you say as you lean down to grab the two small plastic bags and hook it onto Hoseok's fingers and turning around. Not caring to stop when you hear him call out for you and quickening your pace when you hear Jungkook call out for you and you hear his footsteps approaching you.

You hold in your breathe until you finally get to the door, opening it and shutting it in a second, sighing in relief when you hear the click from the lock.

Jungkook stops on the other side as soon as he hears it too, hand on the doorknob as his shoulders slump.

“Hyung,” he says sadly as he looks at his older brother who comes to give him an encouraging squeeze of the shoulder.

“Just give her time. She’ll cool down,” he reassures with a soft smile and Jungkook nods.

He looks over to the girl in red, the one who always managed to ruin everything in his life till this day. He glares at her with disgust and hate.

“I hope you know that I fucking hate you more than before.” He says with a dry laugh and for the first time since she has arrived, the smile on her face is wiped off.

“Also leave before if have my men make you.” He rolls his eyes before walking off, leaving Hoseok and Miso.

Hoseok doesn’t spare her a glance, following suit as he sighs and small smile forms on his face, irritating Miso who clenches her fists.

“Why is Miso here ?” Jungkook asks everyone in the room with piercing eyes, hunched over the kitchen island.

“We needed her for the next mission.” Yoongi shrugs as he slurps on his ramen.

“And you didn’t tell me any thing about it?” Jungkook laughs dryly.

“I forgot.” Yoongi honestly says to which Jungkook sighs.

“I was going to tell you, to be honest she wasn’t even supposed to come till after you agreed to it, if you would. She just appeared today for some reason.” Yoongi continues to explain.

“She hasn’t changed one bit, huh?” Seokjin shakes his head as he laughs.

“Well, we don’t need her. We can do it without her.” Jungkook insists, arms crosses over his chest.

“Do you have a better option?” Jimin smiles mischievously. Jungkook doesn’t pay much mind to Jimin as he is always like that that but when he sees what he is hinting at he immediately refutes.

“No. I'm not doing that. Never.”

“What about Taehyung's girl-" Jimin begins but shuts his mouth the moment Taehyung walks in. Namjoon sends him a scowl of disapproval as he shakes his, to which Jimin just shrugs.

“What have you got Tae?” Hoseok smiles at the younger man who had just walked in, comforting Taehyung who smiles back and joins them.

“A lot.” He says with a victorious smile as he lays down documents on the table and Jungkook can’t help but chuckle as he pats his shoulder.

“Great! Make it quick. Jungkook has somewhere to be in a bit.” Seokjin says as he locks his arms around Taehyung and Jungkook’s necks making the younger boys laugh.

“Yeah,” Jungkook nods with a sad smile. Taehyung ruffles his hair and the boy is smiling brightly again.

“Stop. Let’s get to business." Jungkook says firmly as he says Taehyung’s hand away and tries to hide his smile and begins to take in his other persona.

You don't know how long you've locked yourself in your room but you know that it’s probably been one too long as the room has gotten dark and the sun has began to set.

You wanted to leave the room but you were still on edge. Was she still there ? Was Jungkook there? Were they still talking to each other? It looked like she kissed him. Did they kiss? Did he like it?

Miso.

You’ve never seen her in your life but you’ve heard that name.

But the moment you saw her there with Jungkook, you knew it had to be her.

‘jet black hair', ‘bright red lips,’ ‘sharp dark eyes,’. Those features anyone could posses but you’ve heard too much about her during your time at the gym to not recognize her when you encountered her.

The OH so famous Miso who had broken the ‘bad beast' Jeon Jungkook’s heart.

It was the talk of the gym, the town even. You can never forget just how hurt he was then. At first all you would see was how much more aggressive he was when boxing, even during training. He had ruined so many punching bags.

This was before you had really gotten close with Jungkook and he was still not very talkative then.

You had sneaked into the dressing room, not knowing if Jungkook was there. You had left your gift for Jungkook here when you were helping cleaning around the other day and you came to get it back.

That’s when you heard the voice of someone crying.

You froze when you saw him, hunched over his lap with his face in his palm.

You felt your throat go dry and heart clench at the same time.

But still you approached him, slowly sitting next to him.

You simple stared at the locker ahead of you and you tapped your lap.

“Y/N?” He asks and you suddenly jump in your seat.

“Yeah?” you asks as you smile and lush yourself closer to him, heart clenching when you see just how red and puffy his eyes and nose were. His glassy doe eyes looking at you for comfort and you feel a sudden need to protect and take care of him like he’s a little hurt boy.

“Can I hug you?” He asks suddenly and you are taken back, eyes wide as you try to process what he had just asked of you.

“I'm Sorry, it’s okay if you don't want to it’s just when I’m sad my mom used to hug me and I feel comfortable with you-" he had began, brushing it off lightly with a nasally laugh but you didn’t let him finish.

You wrapped your arms round his neck, taking him by surprise but he doesn't retort, instead his arms come around your waist, pulling you closer to him as he nuzzled his neck into the crook of your neck and took in your scent.

You began rubbing his bare back and whispering comforting words when you felt your shoulder dampen while his body shaked.

Ever since that day, you had envied and admired this Miso girl.

The first and last time you saw Jungkook full on cry was because of and for her. He must have really loved her. She was his first love after all.

Even after you two got together you were still somewhat insecure, you had heard some of the things the guys would say regarding Miso and Jungkook’s previous relationship.

Some said she got pregnant and for very long you lived in anxiety thinking that one of the days she would show up at your door with a child in hand and Jungkook would go with her, he loves kids. And you wouldn't stop him because no child deserves to be fatherless, especially not because of your selfish feelings.

Some said that she cheated on Jungkook and vice versa but you knew Jungkook would never cheat so you didn’t pay mind to that. Some even said he got involved with her so he could fuck her mother and when her husband found out she broke it off so Jungkook was broken. That's where you drew the line and stopped listening. There were so many more rumours but you never once asked Jungkook to confirm or deny any of them. You trusted him.

So why did you storm out like that before ?

“Ughh!” you groan as you tug your hair, wishing you could rip it off your skull.

Just then there's a knock on the door.

“Y/N?” Seokjin calls out from the other side.

You get up, slowly opening the door to a small crack and using your one eye to search the living room beyond Seokjin’s broad shoulders.

“It’s just me,” he laughs and you flush, suddenly feeling embarrassed at how you were behaving.

“Let's go,” he chirps as he walks into the kitchen.

You don’t even end up doing much, after making you chop up some onions and veggies Seokjin has you sit down while he takes over. He handed you some snacks since he knows you haven’t had any thing since you got back and you've locked yourself too long in the room since morning on an empty stomach.

You're staring the wall and too deep in your previous thoughts that you don’t realise Seokjin has been calling you for a while.

“Y/N?” Seokjin calls in concern as he gently taps your shoulder.

You jerk up in your seat by surprise.

“Hmm? Sorry I was... I wasn't paying attention.” You laugh sheepishly.

“No it’s fine. We all daydream.” He laughs as he shakes his head.

“Pass me the salt, please,” he says as he motions towards the island and you get up immediately and pass it to him.

“You’re a really good cook.” You compliment as you observe the simmering pots next to him.

“Yup. Heard that a lot. Except from one person. They trash my cooking but still eat my food, not leaving a single thing on the plate.” Seokjin laughs with subtle pout and you can’t help but laugh.

“That’s cute,”

“Yeah, she really is.” Seokjin says as he smiles and you can’t help but feel warm at the adoration in his eyes.

“So what is your plan for today?” Seokjin asks after you are done for a bit and he joins you at the dining table.

Right. It was Jungkook's birthday. You usually only spent the mornings with him, some time in the afternoon he would go out and come back late at night and you would have a cake lit up for him and the two of you would celebrate together.

He would always come back with puffy eyes and avoid your gaze, wanting to just hold you or for you to hold him to sleep.

You couldn't help but think that maybe he went out to cry about Miso, today was after all the anniversary of their break up and it was something that had really shook his heart and scarred him, she was his first love after all. But again, you never asked.

You shift in your seat as you play with your fingers.

“I don’t know." Honestly you didn't, what if he went back to Miso and would never return?

Seokjin nods as he clasps his hands together on the table.

A thought comes in your head.

“Seokjin, I have a question.” You asks shyly as you suddenly feel invasive.

“Sure,” he smiles and you exhale before speaking.

“On his birthday, Jungkook... He’s been going out and coming back at night. Do you know where he goes? D-does it have to do with Miso?” you ask nervously and Seokjin eyes go wide.

You begun to panic and worry, so it’s true ? He goes to Miso? So he really could not return this time?

Your hands shake unknowingly as your eyes tear up.

Seokjin notices and immediately realises you probably have your doubts and decides he should clear them quick.

“Relax Y/N,” he smiles as he places a hand on your shoulder and you feel your breathing get lighter but not light enough.

“Jungkook never told you about any thing? About his birthday? What do you know about it?” Seokjin asks carefully and you shake your head.

“No. He never said any thing. But he always seems so sad at that day, I guess it’s because it’s the day he and Miso broke up.” You painfully admit as your finger nails dig into your palm on your lap.

Seokjin sighs in defeat. He was waiting for Jungkook to tell you but it seems that today’s interruption and the sudden appearance of an unwanted uninvited guest wouldn’t allow it. He knew Jungkook had planned it, he was even going to ask you to go with him to the place he visited every year on his birthday.

“Y/N, it has nothing to do with Miso.” He says and you furrow your brows.

“What?” you ask in confusion. It had everything to do with Miso, right?

“Yeah, they did break up on that day but Jungkook couldn't care less about it, not then not now. ” Jin says with a reassuring smile and you feel as if a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. But just as soon as you heart feel a light and free, new load of curiosity and guilt weighs it down heavier.

If it wasn’t because of Miso that he had emotionally broken down in front of you that day and that he spends the whole night out for every year then what is it. Where was he going and why ?

“T-then what is it?” you ask, stuttering as you take in Seokjin’s sombre expression.

“Y/N, Jungkook's birthday, his mother died on that day.”

You feel your heart drop to your feet as you process the words he said.

Suddenly everything clicks.

That's it for today :) I hope you liked it! Next time 💜

304 notes · View notes

guksuu · 7 years

Text

a giant post about tag games that im gonna finish right now [pt. 1]

skjfhsdkf i’ve been tagged for games and i’ve been neglecting to do them so here’s a giant post with all of them! not gonna tag anyone cause there are so many BUT feel free to do them :’) im warning u, this is gonna be super long!

kpop q’s!

tysm to @yugy for tagging me!!

1. who was your first female bias?

2. who was your first male bias?

cheondung from mblaq!

3. who are your current biases? other than the above:

no biases..im an OT stan (lmao am i the only OT stan for all groups?)

4. in the entire kpop indrustry, who is the closest to your ideal type?

jkshdfksd hmmmm...i dont really have an ideal type..

5. have you ever attended any kpop concert/fan meet/fan sign?

yes!

6. if yes, which group/artist? how was your experience?

my first concert (which is the only concert i’ve been to so far), was club eskimo (dean, offonoff, miso, saay). it was amazing! the performances were a1 n meeting them was so cool. i also saw monsta x! it was such a great night n the boys were so sweet!

7. which group(s) would you like to see live?

got7, seventeen, block b, b.a.p, day6, nu’est, winner...a lot of groups lmao

8. how did you get into kpop?

my brother actually showed me suju’s sorry sorry like in 2009 n i got really interested, so i started looking around n finding more groups.

9. who are your otps?

i haven’t really gotten into otps yet, but some i do know are: yugbam, verkwan, jinyoon, sope

10. when did you start shipping?

jkshfksd im still figuring out ships

11. what was your favorite fanfic genre?

anything thats fluff n angst dkhkdfg

12. what is your favorite music genre?

i listen to a lot of genres

top 10 bias tag

thank u tracy, @eggciao, for tagging me!!

sdfkhsdf im ot so this is gonna be hard but o well (i already did this but imma do it again lmao)

1. junhui (svt)

2. yongguk (b.a.p)

3. chunjin (myteen)

4. ten (nct)

5. johnny (nct)

6. yoochan (a.c.e)

7. dowoon (day6)

8. hyungwon (monsta x)

9. dongho (nu’est)

10. jisung (wanna one)

song tag

thank u @otteryj n @kawaiikpopofsatan n @calemiel for the tag :-)

rules: put your music on shuffle and list the first 10 songs and tag 10 people!

1. 짜장면 - myteen

2. cant see the end - seventeen

3. cry - mblaq

4. stop it - b.a.p

5. moon, 12:04am - offonoff

6. 다시 앞으로 (ft. sumin) - loco

7. 밀착 - taek

8. hey - got7

9. rollercoaster - monsta x

10. good bye bye - nu’est

five things tag

thank u to the lovely @smilingvernon n @whaaattheflower for tagging me!

rules: write the five things in the situation, and then tag 15 people~

five things you’ll find in my bag:

headphones

tons of pens

gum

color pencils

tons of random papers that I need to throw out

five things you’ll find in my bedroom:

vinyls

art supplies scattered everywhere

all of my ceramic and sculpture works

lots of club supplies

binders that are super old, which I need to get rid of

five things I’ve always wanted to do:

travel

learn a new language

go to a festival

sell art

volunteer in a different country

five things that make me feel happy:

dogs

my family n friends

food (so cliche but honestly..)

my lovely mutuals

my favorites loving themselves

five things I’m currently into:

skin care

old school rnb/hip hop/soul/rap

asmr

crime shows

plants

five things on my to-do list:

possibly dye my hair bc senior portraits are coming up

explore n go outside

buy more vinyls even though im broke shfksdsdf

stop being a pushover ://///

fix my sleeping schedule before school starts but we all know it’s not going to happen

get to know me tag

thank u to @cngkyns n @urmomstax n @sleepyw0ns n @nyaaaaaw for tagging me!

rules: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

the last: 1. drink: boba 2. phone call: my mom 3. text message: “50% sweet and light ice” (i was texting my sister my drink order lmao) 4. the song you listened to: diamond 4 ya - b.a.p 5. the time you cried: ahh i don’t remember

have you: 6. dated someone twice: no 7. kissed someone and regretted it: no 8. been cheated on: no 9. lost someone special: yes 10. been depressed: yes 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: no

list three favorite colors: 12-14: black, yellow, green (that muted green color though lmao)

in the last year have you: 15. made new friends: yes 16. fallen out of love: yes 17. laughed until you cried: yes 18. found out someone was talking about you: yes 19. met someone who changed you: yes 20. found out who your friends are: yes 21. kissed someone on your facebook list: no

general: 22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: a majority of them 23. do you have any pets: used to have fishes, turtles, and birds 24. do you want to change your name: not anymore 25. what did you do for your last birthday: went out to go eat with the family 26. what time did you wake up: 11am 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: watching one fine day 28. name something you can’t wait for: la trip in october

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: yesterday night 30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: im tired of being a pushover :///

31. what are you listening right now: yoongi’s mixtape 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: yes? 33. something that is getting on your nerves: people who love calling others rude names over minor mistakes, ANYONE THAT SEXUALIZES MINORS, passive aggressive people. i have more but that would be a long list. 34. most visited website: tumblr

lost questions aka random info about me 35. mole(s): one on my thigh (if i remember correctly) 36. mark(s): on my elbow from falling, one between my brows when i slipped on the stairs n fell during tag 37. childhood dream: i had so many like being a dentist, firefighter, cop, etc. 38. hair color: dark brown 39. long or short hair: i like both!

40. do you have a crush on someone: nope 41. what do you like about yourself: my ceramic and sculpture skills! 42. piercings: nope 43. bloodtype: i dunno 44. nickname: lili (that’s what my cousins calls me)

45. relationship status: single

46. zodiac: aries 47. pronouns: she/her 48. favorite TV Show: all the old nick, cartoon network, and disney shows, law & order svu, ridiculousness, wild n out, mr. robot, etc. 49. tattoos: nope 50. right or left hand: right 51. surgery: yes but when i was younger 52. hair dyed in different color: i have done like an ombre before 53. sports: i like basketball, swimming, and baseball 55. vacation: i wanna go back to hawai’i, visit korea, thailand, philippines, etc. 56. pair of trainers: 2

more general: 57. eating: lots of viet and chinese 58. drinking: water, and boba 59. i’m about to: watch some shows, make gfx n gifs 61. waiting for: the day i graduate highschool 62. want: lots of food n rest 63. get married: yes, but maybe after i get settled a bit w my career 64. career: sculptures&ceramics/graphic designer, or psychology/criminal justice

which is better?: 65. hugs or kisses: hugs

66. lips or eyes: eyes!

67. shorter or taller: either

68. older or younger: either, but not by a lot

70. nice arms or stomach: either lmao

71. sensitive or loud: both!

72. hookups or relationships: relationships

73. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

have you ever: 74. kissed a stranger: no 75. drank hard liquor: yes 76. lost glasses/contact lenses: yes 77. turned someone down: yes 78. sex on the first date: no 79. broken someone’s heart: yes 80. had your heart broken: yes 81. been arrested: no 82. cried when someone died: yes 83. fallen for a friend: no

do you believe in: 84. yourself: not really :/ 85. miracles: yes, but where are they in my life lmao 86. love at first sight: depends 87. santa Claus: no 88. kiss on the first date: no 89. angels: yes

other: 90. current best friends name: hannah, jane, kim, christina, and jhkdfs all of my network pals :-)) 91. eyecolor: dark brown 92. favorite movie: any studio ghibli film i’ve seen, kill bill 1 & 2, forrest gump, wonder woman, beetle juice, boyz n the hood, etc.

question tag

tagged by @wooziology!!! tysm :-))

1. ARE YOU NAMED AFTER SOMEONE?

nope

2. WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

i don’t remember

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?

i like it. it’s super small.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?

beef or chicken

5. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?

yes?

6. DO YOU USE SARCASM?

yes

7. DO YOU HAVE YOUR TONSILS?

yes

8. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?

no thank u

9. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF CEREAL?

cookie crunch, cinnamon toast, or regular cheerios

10. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES?

yes

11. DO YOU THINK YOU’RE A STRONG PERSON?

12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?

coffee

13. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

their personalities

14. RED OR PINK?

both!

15. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE PHYSICAL THING YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF?

my forhead lmao

16. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING NOW?

black jeans n black/white vans

17. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?

pizza n pasta

18. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?

OYEAH by olnl (he’s a really nice rapper, check him out!!)

19. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?

grey

20. FAVORITE SMELL?

mint

21. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU SPOKE TO ON THE PHONE?

my mom

22. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH?

basketball

23. HAIR COLOR?

dark brown

24. EYE COLOR?

dark brown

25. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?

26. FAVORITE FOOD TO EAT?

noodles, especially noodle soups

27. SCARY MOVIE OR COMEDY?

both!

28. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?

the belko experiment (one of the most wild films i have watched)

29. WHAT COLOR OF SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?

tan wih orange stripes

30. SUMMER OR WINTER

winter forever

31. HUGS OR KISSES

hugs!

32.WHAT BOOK ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING?

none but i wanna read the divine comedy, the lathe of heaven, and demian

33. WHO DO YOU MISS RIGHT NOW?

my brother n cousins n parents

34. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?

i dont have a mouse pad

35. WHAT IS THE LAST PROGRAM YOU WATCHED?

seventeen’s one fine day

36. WHAT IS THE BEST SOUND?

the rain or waves. they’re honestly so soothing

37. ROLLING STONES OR THE BEATLES?

im more familiar with the beatles, so beatles

38. WHAT IS THE FURTHEST YOU HAVE EVER TRAVELED?

hawai’i

39. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?

do my ceramic n sculpture skills count or?

40. WHERE WERE YOU BORN

california!

30 questions tag!

tagged by the cuties, @lastnamesuh n @eatnamjin n @princesssjoy n max. thank you so much!

nickname: hmmm...my monbebe pals often call me baeiley...i think someone also has me as baeleaf too lmao. other nicknames beside that are lili, which is what my cousins call me.

gender: female

star sign: aries

height: 5′3

time: 6:20pm

birthday: april 1st

favorite bands: nu’est, b.a.p., got7, seventeen, monsta x, myteen, a.c.e, winner, nct (lmao all of three), block b, btob, day6, theboyz, victon, vixx...n a lot of other groups.

favorite solo artist(s): im such a big khh/krnb fan so brave, saero, crucial star, samuel seo, jeebanoff, dean, dpr, punchnello, bewhy, crush, g.nine, loco, bloo, dumbfoundead, olnl, sik k, n a lot more. others are taek, paul kim, iu, jung jin woo, ra.D, grizzly, moonmoon, sam kim, miso, suran, etc. for american music, its sza, kehlani, sob rbe, childish gambino, made in tyo, amine, isaiah rashad, kendrick lamar, etc.

song stuck in my head: overcome - nu’est & crush - yuna

last movie i watched: hmmmm...men in black. its one of my favorites!

last show i watched: law & order svu

when did i create my blog: i created this blog...like 2014? this blog was originally my personal but i moved it so it can be my primary. i would say i changed into a kmusic blog this year in january!

what do i post: lmao im multifandom so a lot of groups, also some aes n social stuff.

last thing i googled: the word “blithely” for my english class

do u have other blogs: i have my personal which is @medasins n another blog but i aint gonna tell u the other one bc that one is still being edited. i also run monbebe net as an admin with four of my other mutuals.

do u get asks: super rare lmao. i dont mind people sending asks though!

why did u choose this blog name: i wanted a general username n i just love noodles so much jksgfddfhggj

following: tons of talented/adorable mutuals that i love so much! also others that make a lot of beautiful content!

followers: 517

favorite colors: literally the color scheme i have for my blog rn (black, mustard/golden yellow, n this blueish-grey). i also rlly like grey, or any other muted tones.

average hours of sleep: during school...3-7 hours. during the summer/weekends...8-10 hours.

lucky number: i do not have a lucky number but 0?

instruments: i played brass/lower brass instruments (trumpet, cornet, baritone, n french horn) from like 5th-8th grade. right now i play/am learning a bit of ukulele!

what am i wearing: black running shorts n a grey tee

how many blankets i sleep with: one but two for winter

dream job: i dunno...still figuring it out

dream trip: traveling!

favorite food:

favorite food: literally noodles, any noodles. i also love homemade viet n chinese food. O INDIAN N THAI TOO.

nationality: chinese!

favorite song now: ummm...lately i by saero, but also 짜장면 by myteen

#ty to all the pals who tagged me!!! ily!#JKSDHFKSD THIS TOOK ME SO LONG #u dont have to read this lmao so spare urselves kjsdfsd #i still have to do the photo ones djghfdkg im sorry :////#ill try to get them finished this weekend!#tag: game #celestial mutuals

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