#you literally could not put on a glove bc you caught on fire

[starsreminisce]

I never understood why Feyre is labeled as E/riel shipper when after acowar she never mentioned them ever again. she even talked about Lucien's glove to Elain and how she should use them to not get her hands hurt in her bonus chapter. or how in acofas Feyre kept encouraging the two to talk that Mor told her to get out of their business and let them deal with it themselves!! I think she stopped engaging the idea after Rhys told her so but I'm not sure, what I'm sure about is she never thought about Elain with Azriel after acowar.

or how they keep saying she will be mad at Rhys for stopping them while Rhys other than proving Az only wanting Elain for sex, he brought up some good political reason that could put their court in danger AND most importantly their baby! do they really think she wouldn't also be mad at Az for putting them in danger bc he was horny?

It's probably because they tend to cling to the one part that validates their belief without giving much thought to the context that surrounds it.

The same reason why they would say Azriel "wouldn't go so far as to call Gwyn a friend" is because that's verbatim from his chapter. This completely ignores the fact that he didn't correct Clotho about his relationship with Gwyn or express how he felt after the necklace was given away.

Feyre asked why they weren't matched, similar to Azriel's inquiry about why the third sister wasn't assigned to him.

However, you should also consider why she didn't want it to be Lucien. She held anger and weariness towards him for what transpired in the Spring Court.

Despite this, she continued to encourage Elain to get to know Lucien. She even went as far as showing her trust in Lucien again after the war and nudged Elain, who then invited him to live with them again.

She specifically pointed out how, throughout the rest of the year, Lucien was willing to turn a blind eye to those he had every reason to hate and be angry with, all to offer them help.

Azriel only said coldly, “If Lucien kills Graysen, then good riddance.” ... Lucien had encountered him, I realized. Somehow, in living with Jurian and Vassa at that manor, he’d run into Elain’s former betrothed. And managed to leave the human lord breathing.

Feyre observes Lucien literally fighting against his instincts.

She mentioned the lack of communication between Elain and Lucien but didn't mention the time Azriel and Elain spent together.

Feyre didn't ask Elain for her opinion on Azriel, remind her to reject the bond, or reinforce her belief that Elain and Azriel were a better match, even after their lengthy conversation during Solstice, especially in front of Rhys.

Feyre, Nesta, Cassian, and Rhys have all noticed and mentioned something about the Elucien dynamic that we, as readers, need to know.

But little about Elain and Azriel other than it's weird.

Even Nesta's observation over Azriel's brooding at Solstice:

Then his gaze shifted to Elain, and though it was utterly neutral, something charged went through it. Between them. Elain’s breath caught slightly, and she gave him a shallow nod of greeting before brushing past, leading Nesta into the room. Mor lounged on a green velvet couch before the fireplace;

Nesta didn't say anything about this exchange but she did have something to say about this:

Elain, the wretch, had taken the seat between Feyre and Varian, about as far from Lucien as she could get.

I also don't think that Nesta knows how Azriel felt about Elain either.

Azriel lingered near the door, quiet enough that when Feyre and Mor began talking about some of her paintings, Nesta went over to him. “Why don’t you sit?” She leaned against the doorway beside the shadowsinger. “My shadows don’t like the flames so much.” A pretty lie. She’d seen Azriel before the fire plenty. But she looked at who sat close to it and knew the answer.

I find it interesting that Nesta talked about exactly where Mor was sitting (in front of the fireplace), and it was Feyre and Mor who were conversing before she went up to Azriel. There was no mention of what Elain was doing at that time or how close to the fire she was sitting.

This once again highlights how E/riels tend to invalidate just how deeply Azriel felt for Mor and blatantly ignore all the obvious signs of his attraction to her, all in favor of their preferred ship.

Mor and Azriel had four books of in-your-face buildup as well, but it seems like SJM has made it now mean nothing.

Shadows darkened his eyes, full of enough pain that she couldn’t stop herself from touching his shoulder. Letting him see that she understood why he stood in the doorway, why he wouldn’t go near the fire. His secret to tell, never hers.

It's worth noting that Nesta's observation wasn't about her figuring out that Azriel liked Elain. Instead, it was her acknowledgment that Azriel was standing back, likely because he was hurt about something, and when he was ready to speak about it, he would.

If most of their "evidence" is based on events up to ACOSAF, and there is limited evidence from ACOSF, except of his bonus chapter that's canon for Elain but not for Gwyn with the exception of half a sentence, that's a pretty telling sign to me that SJM is moving away from that pairing. Conversely, in almost every instance where Lucien is mentioned, there is some form of connection to Elain, reminding us that SJM has not forgotten about them.

The only person who did take notice of E/riel was Rhys and had something definitive to say.

Considering how the inner circle typically reacts when Rhys says something, his words carry much more significant weight.

After all, even Feyre understood and forgiven Rhys for keeping the pregnancy risk hidden from her.

#elain x lucien #elucien #pro elucien #antie/riel #feyre is an elucien #so is rhys #so is the entire inner circle #cherrypicking canon never works out

[ikebanaka]

Sabo: *eats the Mera Mera no Mi*

Sabo, fucking immediately: time to go stand in front of a bunch of marines and let them shoot me! I’ve always wanted to know what that was like!

#bro seastone bullets exist #and you got your fruit two seconds ago #what if you accidentally became solid huh #you literally could not put on a glove bc you caught on fire #zero self preservation #funny #sabo #you dumb bastard #one piece #dressrosa arc

[katsukisblackteddy]

HOT TOMALES! I just got a great idea for a request! Bakugo, Fatgum, Sero, and Hawks hcs of them with a black!fem!s/o but she has a Galaxy quirk. It gives her purple blue eyes with stars and constellation pupils that changes when she blinks, she blushes stardust and mini stars, has sparkly tears, and her quirk allows her to use black holes, comet like projectiles, and she can make mini stars and planets appear from her energy along with spreading stars and constellation like freckles all over her body. (I saw these gorgeous art designs and I couldn’t help myself. I do not own the art, they are just inspiration to me for this request 😭✨)

“She’s Out of This World” - Headcannons

Pairings: bakugou, fatgum, sero, and hawks x black!fem! reader Pronouns: she/her Warnings: none...besides a few curse words (cough...bakugou...cough)

Thanks for another great request <3

He definitely was NOT looking forward to the new foreign student joining the class when Aizawa first announced it

But then you stepped through the oversized doorway and he very obviously did a double take

Bakubitch was seeing stars...literally...you were flustered and blushing stardust

Bakugou thought that you were hot and your quirk was cool...though he would NOT admit it

He was definitely overly aggressive towards you when you met each other because bby boi didn’t know how to express his feelings

Hi crush grew when he saw you wouldn’t take his shit and you talked back...(he thought that was hot as fuck)

“Hey (y/n)-chan?” Midoriya asked from his seat, his half burnt journal out as he held a pen in his hand. His green eyes were wide as he looked you over before scribbling things down

Bakugou wasn’t saying anything and was pretending to be on his phone but he would look up every so often to see if you found Deku as annoying as he did

He was kinda bummed when he saw you didn’t

“What’s up Midoriya?” You asked back as Midoriya looked back up at you, loosing his train of thought when he saw the constellations in your eyes change and shooting stars in the purple-blue orbs when you blinked or got excited.

“C-can you make stars and planets and stuff?” He asked after a pause. This caught the explosive blonde’s attention as he watched you smile and nod.

“Yeah...do you want me to do it now?” Everyone nodded in response to your question, their eyes now focusing on you.

A mini galaxy began to appear above your hands, a small smile on your face as you looked at everyone’s excited and impressed faces.

“Woah! You’re really hot!” Mineta said, catching you off guard as your eyes widened and you cheeks became covered in stardust, a shooting star appearing above your head.

“T-thanks.” You grew even more flustered as some of the other boys agreed

Bakugou glared daggers at Mineta for breathing near you, so the fact that he talked to you was pissing him off even more

Mineta’s ass got BEAT after school and the next day Mineta wouldn’t even look at you

You caught the satisfied smirk on Bakugou’s face that he tried to hide when he saw Mineta practically piss his pants

“You know you could just talk to me...” You said from your seat behind Bakugou with a small laugh as Bakugou tried to hide his quickly reddening cheeks

He LOVES to talk about you and show you off, even if not a lot of people get to see you together because y’all are pro-heros

Will definitely talk everyone’s ears off when given the chance about how cool your galaxy quirk is and how strong and powerful you are to the point where some of his friends are convinced you aren’t real because they haven’t seen you together

No one questions him anymore after you joined him and his two interns on patrol when they spotted you after you had just finished your own patrol

“Excuse me.” You looked down when you felt a small tug at your belt, seeing a little girl with pigtails and warm brown eyes.

“Hi sweetheart.” You smiled widely at the girl as you kneeled to her level, noticing the doll of you in her arms and the small stars that were drawn on her cheeks.

“I wanna be just like you when I grow up! I already told my mommy!” The little girl told you excitedly as a woman who looks like the older version of the little girl in front of you smiles at you with a hand on the girl’s shoulder.

“I think you’ll make a great hero one day.” You told her as her eyes seemed to shine in adoration. Her little hand touched the stars on your cheek as she mumbled about how pretty it was.

“Thank you.” You laughed lightly as the little girl blushed.

“I can make sunlight!” She explained after a moment, excitedly showing you her hands that formed the little ball of light.

“Watch this.” You smiled, putting your hands around hers as you made tiny planets and a mini galaxy around her little ball of light that looked like a sun.

“Woah!” The little girl excitedly jumped up and down before hugging you as her mother thanked you before the pair walked off. You stood turning when you felt eyes on you.

It was your boyfriend, Toyomitsu and his two interns who had been watching the little exchange with small smiles.

“Are these your interns!” You asked him excitedly as you pulled at his large hand, eyeing the two teenagers.

“Mmhmm.” He nodded proudly. “Isn’t she out of this world?” He asked to the boys with a laugh.

You rolled your eyes at his corny joke, but let out a small laugh. 

“Do you want to join us?”

“Of course! Toyomitsu literally doesn’t stop talking about you two! It’s great to finally meet you.”

“Really? He hasn’t stopped talking about you either.” Kirishima said as your starry purple and blue eyes looked from the redhead to your boyfriend with a raised eyebrow. He just smiled at you, a soft pink covering his cheeks as he shrugged.

Flex tape is super into you from the moment he saw you, but he was too nervous to say anything to you in the beginning

He was convinced you would go for someone like him (which is stupid bc he’s so cute)...he was obviously wrong

Both you and Sero’s quirks have pretty practical applications, especially when you generated small suns and moons as light sources

The first time you generated a black hole kinda scared him tho...even if it was a small one

Once you convinced him that you had complete control over the black hole, he wasn’t so nervous about it anymore.

Definitely takes advantage of the black hole creation ability of your quirk now too

“Hey (y/n) can you come over?” Your boyfriend called you. This made you nervous because you thought something bad could’ve happened...like that one time Sero had accidentally gotten his tape stuck in a fan while it was accidentally stuck in his hair

“What happened? Did you start a fire? Was Denki involved? Is there another fan, because I can go get my scissors again!” You said quickly as you stood at his door in the dorms. 

You had rushed there so it had only taken you a moment to get there after he had hung up.

“Nope...no fire, Kaminari wasn’t involved, and there isn’t another fan incident...but I kinda broke the vacuum cleaner and there’s glitter all over my room.”

“Why is there glitter everywhere?” You looked from the mess all on the floor to your boyfriend who smiled sheepishly at you.

“Well, Kaminari thought it would be fun to do a prank...and the test kinda backfired...”

“I thought you said Kaminari wasn’t involved?”

“Uh-” He stopped when you held your hand up with a sigh.

“What am I supposed to do about this Hanta?”

“I was thinking that maybe you could use a black hole...since it’s kinda like a vacuum?”

“Fine.” You sighed after a pause in conversation, nodding once before you made a small black hole appear in your hand. Pointing it towards the floor you sucked up all of the glitter before making the black hole disappear again.

“I knew it would be faster than a vacuum!” Sero told you as he hugged and thanked you.

“Don’t be so messy next time...and maybe stay away from the glitter.” You laughed.

Keigo was kind of caught off guard when he first saw you.

He originally thought your quirk had just changed your appearance and that it was only creating stars, well until one day...

You see, the pair of you had moved in together and had also gotten a dog because why the hell not?

Anyways Keigo was supposed to be getting home any moment from patrol and since you had been off that day, you stayed home with your dog

“Did you have to ruin your toys so quickly? We just brought you this ball.” You complained to the small rambunctious animal who simple stared up at you with big brown eyes and a wag of its tail.

“Alright, let’s try this then.” You said after thinking for a moment. You created a small planet before throwing it down the hall. If your dog broke it, you could simply make a new one and it wouldn’t be a waste of money.

The dog happily chased after it before appearing a moment later with the small blue planet in its mouth. It put the sphere down at your feet, looking up at you and waiting for you to throw it again.

The door opened as you threw it down the hall again, Keigo walking into the house after just getting off. 

He set his goggles on the table by the door along with his special headphones, taking his gloves and jacket off at the door.

“I’m home, Birdie.” He called out as your dog ran towards him and dropped the strange new ball that he didn’t remember getting at his feet.

“I’m in here.”

“Weird.” The pro-hero mumbled before tossing the ball again and walking towards where your voice had come from.

“How was patrol?” You asked as your dog appeared again, the broken planet in front of him on the ground at your feet.

“It was fine...nothing major.” He answered simply, watching as you sighed giving a look to your dog before putting your hands together and making another small sphere, this time a purple color.

“Try not to break it so quickly this time.” You told the dog before tossing it.

“What was that?” He questioned as you looked at him confused. “When you put your hands together?” He clarified.

“Oh...did I forget to tell you? He broke his new ball, so I created a planet for him. I just figured it would be easier than buying him another toy that he’ll just end up destroying.” You shrugged.

“You can make planets?”

“Among other things.” You laughed softly at the surprised face he made. “I thought I told you.”

“No...but that’s cool as hell! What else can you do?” He asked, his eyes not leaving yours as he laid his head in your lap as you both sat on the couch with you explaining your quirk in depth.

Tags:

#katsukisblackteddy #requested #bnha #bnha x black reader #mha x black reader #mha #headcannons #bakugou #fatgum #sero #hawks #galaxy quirk #x reader #pls i love fatgum #bnha boys make me soft #bnha x reader

[tiredloserr]

CREEPY STORYTIME!

(long post, sorry lol)

okay, so I don't live in the best neighborhood in the world and about a month ago, one of my more sketchy neighbor's house burnt down (this being the second time it's caught on fire in 2 years, but we don't have time for all of that). stuff from their house has been blowing around since but we are across a circle from them so we don't get too much stuff coming over. today I was cleaning my yard and I found a page from some religious book sitting up against a fence.

[Image Description: a dirty, slightly burnt page that has "The Future Millennial Kingdom" typed in the header that reads "(...) spoken of in the present tense in Revelation 20:10, indicating that they are still there. It is into this lake of fire that Satan will be cast. He, the Antichrist, the false prophet, and all those from every age in history who rejected God's free offer of salvation through faith in Christ will 'be tormented day and night forever and ever.' The Bible clearly states, then, that this punishment will last for all eternity!" End description]

....... so,, not the funnest thing to find in your yard??? but I joked with my brother about it and then set it to the side because I just had a weird feeling thinking about tossing it right then. from this point on, I felt really strongly like I was being watched. and this could definitely be me being paranoid but it was intense. I found a few other pages but I think they're all from the same book and I don't have the energy to transcribe what they say but I'll put in the pictures here:

so these ones definitely are not as unsettling as the first page, but it's just bizarre to me first of all, that my neighbors would have this book (they are definitely not religious to the best of my knowledge) and that these are just perfectly sitting in my yard?????

so anyways, I just left all the pages set off to the side next to my front porch and kept doing my yard work, still feeling really strongly that someone is watching me.

as I'm picking stuff up, I find a decapitated little bird head sitting like, a yard away from where I found that first page. we do have stray cats in my neighborhood so it could definitely be them but it really really freaked me out.

at that point, I really didn't want to be in that area since I was so unsettled so I went to a part of my yard behind my house because even though this is all creepy as shit I really have to get yard work done lol. I was still feeling like I was being watched which is literally impossible at this point bc of the placement of my house and stuff but I just kept truckin.

everything was fine for like half an hour then I find an entire dead mouse just laying out in the open, which again, could be bc of stray cats, but I checked it out (with gloves then I buried it) and there were no teeth marks or drool or blood or anything on this little guy, he looked perfectly healthy.

when I was burying it, I got a suuuuper intense feeling of sadness and literally just started bawling so after I was done, I tapped out and went back inside.

I was messaging my friend on Instagram about the whole thing bc I'm obnoxious and I was sending her voice memos since it's faster than typing. when I was waiting for her to message me back, I was just scrolling instagram (as you do) and I tapped thru my story from the day before. and obviously I posted that first picture of the book there too bc it was creepy. and out of NOWHERE as I'm still looking at my story, one of my voice messages that I had just sent my friend started playing on my phone. which shouldn't be possible since I was not in our chat???? I even just went to my Instagram feed and my voice message wouldn't stop playing??? i had to completely close out of the app to get it to stop.

so yeah, I don't have any sort of resolution, but this has been the weirdest shit and it could all totally be coincidental and I'm just paranoid but it's a bit much to all just have happened to happen on the same day.

#i just want to talk about this because what????? #and the timing of this happening at the end of a week where ive the worst luck is also not doing much for me lol #creepy

[is-that-another-soulmate-au]

okay so I was reading your au about zukka and the soulmark nation thingy. sokka wears bandages throughout almost the whole series. what if he wears those so nobody can see of bc he hurt himself trying to get it off :0

You! I love your mind so much! It also adds more to the direct contact thing.... okay, let me write this out 👁👄👁

Sokka hated his fire mark so much that after hearing tales that your mark could somehow heal if you touched the mark of your soulmate he was determined to never let that happen, he always wore a hand wrap or a glove over his mark, and to make sure it never seemed suspicious, he wore one on both hand.

He wore just plain wraps while in the boiling rock because no way was he going to let himself find his soulmate while there. But one night on ember island while the group is gathered around a fire on the beach Aang asks about why he always wore gloves. And he looks down with a sad smile

"Well, since we've literally been around the world together I guess I can tell you guys" he removes the gloves and hand wraps, saving the one with his mark for last. Holding up his hand he showed the large scar on the back of his hand "it was a fire mark... but after I lost my mom to a firenation soldier... I couldn't bare to look at it so I... I scraped it off"

"Oh" Aang said with a now sad voice

"Dang, thats rough buddy" Toph said bluntly making the group fall into laughter at the inside joke shared with everyone in their little rag tag group.

"Sokka give me your soulhand!" He heard katara yell out as she neared the beach.

Sighing he stood from his seat on the log "Katara, come on, you know I gave up on that a long time ago" when he turned around he was shocked to see Katara dragging a confused and blushing Zuko down with her

"Dont care, give it. Now." She snatched his wrist and smacked their hands together making a loud clap before the back of their hands began glowing, Zuko's glowing blue and Sokka's glowing red. The glow lasted a good five seconds before dying down and revealing their now healed marks.

"You..." Zuko whispered

"It was you this whole time?" Sokka whispered as he looked from his now marked hand to Zuko's terrified eyes

"If I would have known" Zuko said with his eyes starting to water "If I would have known I would never have- I would never have tried so hard to- to go after you"

"Zuko..." Sokka said with a softening expression but Zuko had already started to cry

"If I'd have known I would've stopped trying so hard to please him, I would have helped you sooner, I wouldve been better, I- I'm so sorry Sokka" Zuko hiccupped and Sokka pulled him into a hug

"Hey, hey, its okay, its alright, I dont know what happened to yours but it probably wasn't good, you're okay now, hey, shush" Sokka tried his best to comfort the now crying Zuko who usually managed to keep in every emotion but apathy and silent care.

"We'll... leave you two alone for a while" Suki said while leading the rest of the group away from the beach.

Once they were gone Sokka let Zuko fall to his knees but he went with him, holding him while he shook, soon enough he managed to talk "It... it was my dad"

"Hm?" Sokka hummed in response

"My dad... when my mark showed up... he was furious and burnt my hand so I could never find my soulmate" he let out a shaky sigh "my mom told me that her mark healed after she found her soulmate again... so I always held onto the hope that someone was out there"

"Oh Zuko, I'm so sorry"

"Dont be... you didn't burn me... and you had every right to do what you did to your own mark. I would have reacted the same way"

"How can you tell it was self inflicted?"

"The way the scar is formed, its.." he took a breath "its hard to explain, but I can tell"

"I'm sorry... I know this doesn't fix everything but, just know, I'm here now okay?" Sokka ran his hand through Zuko's hair with a small sigh escaping with his breath

"What about three days from now?" Zuko asked with obvious worry

Sokka smiled "do you really think you can escape me just because of a measly comet? We'll both survive this war, and Im going to give you the biggest kiss imaginable after that comet passes"

And he did. The moment he caught sight of Zuko in his room trying to put on his robe he dropped his crutch and hobbled over as fast as he could "Zuko!" He called just before crashing into his embrace and slamming their lips together. There was nothing keeping them apart, no war, no politics, no scars, no nothing. All that was there now was them. And they wouldn't have it any other way. Until a decade later when Zuko brought up the fact that he needed an Heir and Mai offered being a surrogate. And thus their baby Izumi was born. And now they not only had eachother, but their daughter. Their world finally felt complete and the day that Izumi's mark showed up as a bright green they both grinned ear to ear and celebrated that she had such a lovely mark to match with a lovely person someone out there in the big wide world.

#avatar the last airbender #avatar: the last airbender #prince zuko #zuko #atla zuko #atla sokka #sokka #zukka #i will die on my endless soulmate au hill #soulmate alternate universe #soulmates #soulmarks #soulmate #RayMakesSoulmates #did this go on longer than I expected? #yes #but did it also end really nicely? #that my dear is up to you

[mostlikelyshutup]

thoughts while watching the first harry potter:

listen i started this list a little late im ngl but notable thoughts so far are me thinking of dumbledore as a gay idiot and still loving hagrid

do you think hes speaking in parseltongue in the zoo when hes speaking to the snake

forgot boats existed

these idiots do scream a lot dont they

i forgot how light hearted this universe really is in the first couple movies

yer a wizard harry, okay hagrid maybe slide him into it a little better

we get it tuney you have fucking trauma, doesnt mean you should abuse a child

hasnt everyone had their name down since they were born, hagrid? theres a list

i like that his umbrella is pink

are you paying for those damages hargid? stop taking the door off the hinges

though, if the dursleys are, keep breaking shit

speaking about dragons on the the fucking tube, its a miracle harry didnt get in trouble with the ministry sooner

what is hagrid's usual? does anyone know???

fucking Quirrell, cant wait for your epic love story with the dark lord

maybe we should tell the 12 year old how the fuck everyone knows his name, just maybe

they do a great job of getting the wonder down pat

how much money and licensing do you think it took for them to get all these owls on set

ahh yes, antisemitism the bank

how many vaults are in gringotts?? also if harry's vault is the potters vault, a literal like sacred 28 family, one of the original families, and its number 600 something, how many were there before the potters?? did the potters get a vault recently? or is this james and lily's vault?? how rich were james and lily if so??

look at ollivander, crazy tinker uncle, love him

this might be the socialist in me but why do people have to pay for wands if everyone needs one??

why is the dark lords twin wand just sitting around on the shelf, ollie me boy??

do you think thats Harry's true wand or do you think thats because of the horcux thing?? do you harry had to get another wand after he died?? did he? i dont remember the last movie

is ollie me boys actor wearing contacts or are his eyes just like that??

thats a very weird way of showing Halloween 81, very misleading

hagrid said ill predict voldys rise in the first movie so we can have some plot development

hagrid is late to everything isnt he? i can feel it in my bones

i swear ive seen these movies, and ive even read the first book, i just dont remember shit

youd think theyd have someone in the know stationed close to the entrance for the platform, for any muggleborns

ginnys actress really had no fucking lines in this movie did she, just had to stand there

oh wait she said good luck

amazing work ginny

ooh a warm filter

can muggles see the express? like just running from london to scotland

wicked!

you didnt have to show the woman the sad sandwich ron

i think the trolly replenishes magically, i think thats how thats how that works, i want to believe that

god i cant tell if i would love or hate hermione, shes pretentious but so was i at that age

god dont fucking point your wand right in someones face mione

how does mione know who harry is?? why does she care?

look at the tiny first years, might just go and pinch theyre cheeks

MINNIEEEE i love you minnie

looking stunning minnie, the green brings out the sternness in your brow

you go minnie, give your speech, thats my head of house

shut up draco, youre not bond

you pretentious fuckwit, your hair is brassy anyways

if this is a class of kids born in the middle of a war, how big are the usual class sizes wtf

THE FUCKING CLAP

fucking propaganda ron, you slytherin hater

what order are these names going in, did they just randomized the list

oooh we get quiet for the boy who lived, jesus let him keep living

the fact that for the rest of these people its just silent is so fucking funny to me, Harry's just fucking whispering to himself

get their attention minnie

me dads a muggle, mums a witch, bit of a shock for him when he found out

NICK, love to see you buddy

i have no emotional attachment to peeves but i feel i should mention him here

the stairs still piss me off, why the fuck would you make moving stair cases

who sets out gloves for the next day? am i the weird one who doesnt??

Minnie, you are the love of my life

shut up snape you dramatic bloodpurist incel

i know theyre setting him up to be mistaken as the villain but jesus christ hes still an asshole

your robes Neville, you forgot your robes

its weird how they have to learn all these latin charms yet only have to say up to get their brooms to work

why wont you go after him, hes obviously not exactly in control, Hooch

does Hooch only teach first years? she is quite literally the equivalent of a history teacher who coaches football

what the fuck is Quirells classroom

they dont make the house teams because no first years can try out, Ron

MINNIE PLAYED QUIDDITCH?!?!? WHY DIDN'T I KNOW THIS

why didnt you speak up earlier Mione wtf

bc the fire wont give you away, harry, better hide

FLUFFY, WHOS A GOOD BOY

they have much worse things locked up in the school, Ron

Oliver wood is a bloody liar because i still dont fuckign understand quidditch, also theres like 500 rules, wtf

thats a shitty explanation of how the game works, Oliver

BLOW IT UP SEAMUS

SHES TWO FEET BEHIND YOU RON YOU IDIOT

carrot cake? on halloween?

dont shrug as if you didnt literally bully her ron

thought youd oughta know, bit of an understatement Quirell

no duh the trolls left the dungeon ron

lying: the best start to any friendship

we're at a net zero points for gryffindor for the year at the moment

the amount of interaction these kids have with professors is so weird to me, is this what small class size do to kids?? its weird

not comforting Oliver

Okay i understand Oliver simps now, I get it okay

are there no backups or subs for quidditch? feels like there should be, like of all the games

set him on fire mione, i know hes not the villain of the movie but god he sucks

fancy flying from harry fucking potter

okay but also i feel like there are some things we should not trust hagrid with, like hes not that great at keeping secrets

why is harry excited about christmas if he thinks hes not getting presents? i knw there are other aspects but like thats the only reasont o get up early

i always remember this scene at night for some reason??

not just an invisibility cloak, THE invisibility cloak ron

btw who gives it to harry? is it remus? is it dumbledore? is it like an inheritance thing? whats up with that?

there are jumpscares in harry potter

he very much can hide, filch

stop being a narc mrs norris

does harry even know what his parents look like at this point? how does he know who the fuck is in the mirror of erised?? he doesnt have that stupid scrapbook yet does he

oh they nod, sure lets clear up that plot hole

they shouldve put sirius and remus in the mirror in that scene, shown his whole family, wouldve been a nice setup

how does rupert grint already look so tired as a twelve year old

big speech to give to a twelve year old Dumbledore, when you wont even tell him what you see

Emma really does just slam that book on Daniels hand, thats mustve fucking sucked

the fact that ive watched two movies that had Nicholas Flamel in two very different roles this year is very strange to me

well thats probably on account of it being a fucking dragon egg hagrid, now isnt it?

was hagrid a hufflepuff? i think he was, maybe a ravenclaw

yes four, you blonde idiot

that shot is really nice, it sets them apart

what happened to filch to make him such a miserable man?

ooh mention of werewolves, awooo werewolves of london

yeah just dip your whole hand in hagrid, dont be scared of the strange liquid, take a nice little bath

i loev that dog, i want that dog, i want to hug that dog

god just the look of that forest is so bloody cool

wait so is that quirell walking fucking backwards?

maybe ask who the fuck youre talking to before asking other questions??? wtf harry

why are yout talking to the centaur like hes your old friend harry, youve literally never met him before

snape doesnt want the stone at all Harry

god hagrid you sweet stupid man

snape is completely valid for that, if a twelve year old ever looked at me like that i would punch them

Do you think people ever loose invisibility cloaks? like theyre invisible do you think they ever just never get found again

i hate the look of the dog spit, that is so gross

they really left everything in except for the fucking potions didnt they, damn

harry potter walked so queens gambit could run

hermione, posted up

rons stupid in the later movies because he got a concussion as a twelve year old

god harry really posted up to beat up snape in fucking khakis

"I knew you were a danger to me!" Hes twelve, Quirell

let me wait for this weird dude to unravel his head scarf instead of running away

the magic in this movie is real fucking conditional isnt it

just some casual necromancy for the stone? you sure about that voldy, you two faced bitch?

let me choke out this twelve year old real quick

oh yeah why is he able to just avengers endgame Quirell? is there an answer to that? like was that ever found out

do you think voldy passing by him while he hold the stone actually killed him but since he holds the stone hes functionally unkillable and then some magic gets put into him and thats why he can return to life later when he actually goes to the whole afterlife place?

ohhh we're vouching on the blood magic for the endgaming of Quirell

do you think dumbledore came across the vomit flavored bean before or after his sister died?

Mione's got a headband! Looking snazzy!

how did Hufflepuff only get 352 points? Gryffindor literally lost 150 points this year and they only beat them by 50, wtf, is it because they kept getting caught with weed

I wont even speak on the fucking outrage that is this point awarding, its already been spoken on. However, Neville shouldve gotten more points

What if someone just stood up and started challenging Dumbledores math, that would be so funny

some of these extras are really attractive

but james potter is somehow so fucking ugly why did they do that to my mans

hagrid deserves the last shot of this film, i love him, he deserves everything, that stupid sweet man

#harry potter #sorcerer's stone #harry potter and the sorcerer's stone #harry potter and the philosopher's stone #hermione granger #ron weasley #k mumbles #fred weasley #george weasley #ginny weasley #hagrid #rubeus hagrid #albus dumbledore #long post #james potter #sirius black #remus lupin

[moskaisley]

migraine pt.3 | chronic

gif: @logan-solo​

rating: mature

word count: 3k

warnings: cursing, suggestive language, fluff but also ANGST, jealous!mando aka my favorite kind 

a/n: this literally took so long to write bc i basically changed the last half of this fic, but i’m rly happy with the results. there was a lot i wanted to include about life before din left, and i thought i’d put them in separate like one shots, but i figured that it would be include in the main story too. this is basically like an anime recap episode LMAO. enjoy!! thanks for the love <3

summary:

“But slowly and languidly, there was a sense of tenderness that began to bleed into the crevices of your daily lives.”

When you and the Mandalorian existed in another time, another place. 

parts 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6

ao3 link / masterlist

Dreams these days never really consisted of anything new. Old memories played in your head like a holovid, both the good and the bad. Tonight, they were filled with him. 

In the beginning, the two of you never really acknowledged what it was. 

You fucked only a few more times after the cockpit. Business always came first, of course, and sex wasn’t a regular occurrence. But when the tension (often mixed with the adrenaline of bounty hunting) became too much to handle, you were all over each other. Most of the time, you were in either of each other’s bunks, and you only did it in the cockpit when you couldn’t bother to go down the ladder. At first, you chalked it up to strictly satisfying physical needs. With the two of you in such close quarters, it only made sense. The aftermath often involved getting dressed and cleaned up in silence. There would be an occasional joke or two, but the discussion usually steered itself towards the next mission. 

But slowly and languidly, there was a sense of tenderness that began to bleed into the crevices of your daily lives. Your hands would linger on each other longer. He seemed to loosen up around you, joke around and indulge you in conversation. It was such a stark contrast to his menacing, stoic warrior demeanour he used when rounding up bounties.

Once, you found yourself too distracted and flustered to even spar with him.

“At this rate, you’ll never win a match against me,” he poked, legs straddling your waist as he pinned your arms down

“Oh, shut up,” you huffed, irritated. He had won against you using the same move, twice. 

You’d never tell him, but your eyes were definitely indulging over the build of his body, imagining the way his bare muscles flexed or his lips moved against yours. 

Squirming against him, you hiss, “Off, Mando.”

He chuckles and your chest tightens. I bet his real voice sounds like heaven.

“I dunno, I think I like you like this.”

He studies you under him, helmet tilting sideways watching your chest heave up and down. A wave of heat washes over you at the thought of tearing off his mask and pulling him down for a kiss. Mando lightly laughs again and you swear you’re going to fucking lose it.

“I think you like it too.”

With all your strength, you bring your knee into the small of his back, knocking him forwards as you twist to launch him off of you. After shuffling up to stand, you spin on your heels and march away, embarrassed at how he’s got you flushed and smiling like an idiot schoolgirl. 

He’s still groaning in pain when he calls to you, “Done already?”

You stumble on a witty response, “You’re the worst!”

Smooth.

--

You weren't the only one losing their cool. Mando became a lot more defensive of you in those days; you nearly killed him once because he kept trying to cover you from blaster fire. He even started a bar fight for you. 

You hated the stares you received by virtue of being around him; traveling with him always meant that being unassuming was impossible. Normally, people would avert their eyes. If you were particularly lucky, a poor soul would try and push the Mandalorian’s buttons, not realizing they’re digging their own graves. One day, however, you’d hit the jackpot when they decided to  target you. 

You sat across from him in a booth, patiently waiting for the quarry to pass through; you took the side facing the door while he was turned away, taking advantage of the element of surprise. Out of the corner of your eye, three drunk bumbling idiots stumbled from the opposite end of the bar. Despite your stealthy gaze, one of them locked eyes with you, and when you saw his lips curl into a disgusting smile, you knew you were in for it. 

The man you saw and sauntered over to your side of the chair. His friends shuffled behind him like dogs, and he practically beamed when he saw Mando, seemingly nonchalant.

“My my, Mando! You’ve got quite the catch here,” he says, undressing you with his eyes, “Where’d he buy a thing like you, baby?”

Are you fucking serious?

You cocked an eyebrow and shot him a glare in response, but remained quiet. You turn back to your view on the door, praying to Maker that he’d leave you alone. But the man didn’t let up.

Instead, he turns to your partner inquiring,

“How good of a lay is she, huh, Mandalorian? Bet she’d be a real treat for me and my boys” his men move a little closer to corner you both, “How much to take her off your hands?”

Can a girl just exist?

“I’m not for sale,” you snarl, voice tight. A dull pain begins to echo in your temples.

“So she speaks,” Your irritation only seemed to egg him on, “C'mon darlin’ let us take care of you. I promise I’m good for it.”

Your fingers were itching towards your blades, but you were still waiting on the quarry to enter the cantina. A scene would scare him away and you would lose your money and time.

Business comes first. 

At least, that’s what you thought.

Mando’s voice cut through your exchange, “Get lost, she said she’s not interested.”

“Now, that’s not what we heard, was it boys?” His men laugh in agreement behind him. His eyes turn dark as he goes to place a hand on your shoulder, “The lady can speak for herself. I think we can negotia-”

A blaster shot whizzes by your ears before you can even think to fight back against him. Mando, ever the gunslinger, shoots again towards his leg, knocking him onto the floor.

And then the whole bar descends into chaos. 

Drunkards pile on top of each other as tensions crescendo; the sound of a single shot has everybody up in arms. Your migraine only grows in intensity as the situation spirals out of control. To top it off, amidst the chaos, you see the quarry a few paces away. His eyes were wide watching the shitshow before him, and in a panic, he scurried back out the door.

You’d caught him eventually, but not without traversing the entire underground marketplace that stretched under the city. By the time he was in carbonite and you were both in the cockpit, your irritation boiled over.

“Are you insane, Din?” You fumed, “When did you get so careless? We nearly lost him!”

He simply looked at you as if you knew the answer, but his silence only fueled your exasperation.

“Fine, don’t talk to me,” you grumbled, throwing your hands in the air, “I’ll be in the refresher.”

You turned to leave, but his gloved hand suddenly gripped your upper arm, spinning you into his chest. It was then that you realized how much bigger he was, dwarfing you in his arms as he rubbed the space above your elbows. 

“He was gonna touch you,” Mando’s voice was low, bordering on a growl.

Oh. The air in the room shifts dramatically.

You take a shaky breath, your voice quieting down to a whisper, “And if he did?”

The gloved hands on your arms squeeze like a vice grip. Your heart swells.

“He’d have a hole in his head.”

Your expression softens before your lips spread into a sly smile. You move as close as you can, eyes boring into the black space of his visor.

“Tell me something,” you swallow hard as you gingerly move his hands to your waist and trace your fingertips over his breastplate. Mando’s breathing is ragged through his vocoder, and you relish in his excitement. You bat your eyelashes a few times before peering up at him.

“How good of a lay am I, Mandalorian?”

His fingers dig deeper into your sides before pulling you even closer, erection already stiffening against you. He groans out a response, “Let’s find out.”

--

There were little things that warmed your heart, too. When you were stuck in your bunk with a migraine, he never let you get up to do anything by yourself. He brought you water and food and he took extra care in opening the door so no light was let in and he wasn’t too loud. When you could tell he was dozing off in hyperspace, you forced him to go to bed. If he was particularly stubborn, you shoved him into the co-pilot’s chair and covered him with a blanket. Sometimes, if you came across a market with a few extra credits, you’d cook him a real meal, leagues better than the shitty ration packs you normally partook in. 

And then, there was the first time he kissed you.

You were strolling through a bazaar before a job when you stopped at a produce stand, excitedly picking up a fuzzy white peach from the box.

“I haven’t eaten one of these since I was a teenager,” you say, bringing up it to your nose and sniffing, “They smell amazing. We should get some later.”

Much to your chagrin, the job went south that day. You were so frustrated and angry that you’d completely forgotten about it, caked in mud and grime demanding to go straight back to the Razor Crest.

Holed up in your bunk and fresh out the shower, you were clad in only a long sleeve shirt and underwear when you heard him knock. When you opened the door, you were surprised to see  the fiercest hunter in the parsec standing before you with a plate of peaches from the market, sliced neatly into little wedges.  

Mando sat with you on your bed as he watched you eat; you told him about how the fruit used to grow on trees in your family’s orchard in the summer. Though you acted like you were sick of them, you always ate it when you were upset. You smiled at the memory of your adolescence, silently cutting up the fruit into wedges and eating them outside during dawn, right after your first break up with some boy.

You were so caught up in the memory that you nearly jumped when Mando leaned in and took your chin in his right hand. His finger traced over the side of your lips, and your heart raced in your chest. 

“Sorry, it’s just,” he uttered, “It was going to drip on your chin.”

You would’ve thought he’d lit your body on fire. Your core ached and you suddenly couldn’t breathe. When he began to pull back, it felt like instinct to grab his wrist and keep his hand near your face. You leaned into his touch, pressing a chaste kiss to his thumb. 

You began to crawl across your bunk to him when he stopped you, “Wait.”

Mando stood, and closed the door and shut the lights off. Darkness enveloped you both, and you called out to him, “Din?” His voice cut through the inky dark, “Can you see anything?”

You hear him shuffle, as he stands in front of you, “I dunno, can I?”

“Y/N,” he urged, impatient.

“No, Din. I can’t see.”

And then you hear the air hiss, and metal clanging to the floor. Realization hit like a meteor crash.

He took it off.

You panic immediately.

“Din, wait! What are you doi-”

You shut up the instant his hands cup your face and his lips are on yours.

And it felt delightful, better than any kiss you’d ever had. Your eyes flutter shut as you deepen the kiss. Your arms go to wrap around his neck, and you pull him even closer, elated at the way his soft hair feels in between your fingers. You were sure that he could taste the sweet, tangy peach on your tongue. When he pulls away for air, your face feels flushed with heat and you could feel your swollen lips.

You’re in a daze, “You kissed me.”

He laughs and you hear it. His real voice. No distortion. No modulator. 

“I did.”

He does sound like an angel.

“Do it again.”

--

When it all broke apart, it wasn’t like the steady, dawdling way you fell in love. The break was quick and it stung worse than any migraine. 

“What do you think?”

You walked around the cockpit, tracing your fingers over the controls. “Why? You thinking of an upgrade?” You shoot Mando a smile. He doesn’t seem amused, “It’s nice, I guess. Smaller, though. We already have a tough time fitting together in the Razor Crest.”

You’d been on Nevarro for a few days, having finally finished your last job. Instead of going back to the Crest, however, Mando took you to a shipyard and aboard an empty cruiser. The Slipstream’s windows were big and were much cleaner, but space was still an issue even if you and Din didn’t carry much.

You turn to him expecting a response, but he only says, “Let’s go.”

“Wait, Mando,” you reach for his shoulder, “What is this about? I don’t understand. Why are we here?”

He doesn’t stop to answer, “I said, let’s go.”

You let out a huff as you followed him out of the cockpit. Ever since you landed, Mando’s behavior had flipped like a switch. Your friendly talks had been reduced to one-sided exchanges. He’d been ignoring you, cold like the beskar he donned on his back. 

“Mando!”

He kept walking down the loading ramp. His terrible attitude had made your blood simmer for a while, and now it was all boiling over. 

You stomp forwards, stopping at the entrance to the hull and shout. 

“Din, stop!”

And he does, but he doesn’t turn around.

You’re fuming, “What is your problem? You’ve been in a shitty mood ever since we got here and frankly I-” You’re interrupted by something flying towards you, instinct having you catch in your hands. It’s a small silver device. Code sets, for what could only be the ship you’re currently standing on.

The dots begin to chaotically connect in your head, “What the hell is this?”

“It’s the -”

“No, Din. I know what this fucking thing is,” You’re seething with panic and rage as you hold up the silver box, “I mean, what are you doing?”

He only stares up at you, the mask emotionless and frigid. The reality of the situation was crashing into you like waves; you were begging to any god that this was just a fucked up nightmare. Tears were stinging in your eyes, threatening to pool and pour over. 

You hated how your voice cracked, “Answer me!”

“I’m leaving you, Y/N.”

Fuck. Hearing him say it out loud made your gut wrench. 

You made an audible sob; you couldn’t control it. Shuffling to the bottom of the ramp, you’re desperate to try and connect to him, bring him back to you. The questions spill from your lips.

“Why? What did I even do? What’s wrong?” You bring your hands up, cupping the sides of his helmet. You whisper through your cries, “Din, please.”

You know. You feel it in your bones. You know he feels it too. 

He gently holds your wrists, “We can’t do this anymore.”

“Can’t we talk about this?” You plead, “I know something’s wrong, you gotta let me in.”

“Y/N, please don’t make this harder than it already is,” he chides, pulling your hands away from his helmet. Your heart feels like it’s in freefall when he turns around to continue walking.

You try to scramble forward to pull him back but to your horror, you’re met with the barrel of a blaster. The noise that roars through your ears sounds like shattering glass. You gape at him, a mixture of shock and disbelief contorting your features. The figure that stood before you was unrecognizable. Because it wasn’t Din, the soft lover who kissed you in the dark and traced words of Mando’a into your sternum. It wasn’t even Mando, the old snarky friend who joked at how bad of a shot you were and who laughs like a complete idiot when he had one too many sips.

It was the Mandalorian, the ruthless and deadly warrior poised and ready to fire you away.

--

You wake up smelling peaches and blaster smoke.

Shifting to sit up against the wall behind you, you groan at the dull ache in your head and heart. Mando is here with you at the foot of the bed; you’ve memorized the way the bunk feels with or without him. 

“Why are the lights off?” You ask.

“I didn’t know if you were going to wake up with a headache or not.”

Of fucking course. It drives you insane how considerate he is sometimes.

You suddenly become more alert as you remember, “Aayn’vida, where is she? Is she safe?”

He quells your anxiety immediately, “She’s safe. I took her to her family.”

“And Khan?”

“Cold.”

You feel him shove pills and a bottle of water into your hands. You took them, and as you both waited for the pain in your head to subside, he told you what happened in Jaemai. As it turns out, Aayn’vida’s mother was a doctor for many years, and she was kind enough to check on you and care for your wounds. Khan’s goon nicked your right side; no major organs were hit, but your skin was likely scarred since it was basically singed off. There was another thing, however. Mando had asked her about the constant migraines,  “She said that they can happen because of stress or trauma.”

You laughed bitterly, “Well, we both know I have plenty of that.”

Silence blankets you two again. Even in the dark, you can tell when the Mandalorian is uneasy. You wait for him to confess.

“If I’d known this would’ve happened, I would’ve never asked you to come with me,” he lets out a tired sigh, “I’m sorry.”

You roll your eyes. Why is he so fucking nice?

“We’ve been through worse,” you say, a familiar feeling fluttering through your chest, 

“Besides, this just means I’ve rightfully earned my 80%”

#migraine #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian/reader #the mandalorian #din djarin x reader #din djarin #din djarin/reader #mandalorian fic #the mandalorian fic #baby yoda #pedro pascal #MY HEART IS POUNDING

[unironicduncanstan]

total drama / darkest minds au

some ideas ive got going for my au cuz im an angst lovign fuck,,,

so if you havent seen the movie or read the books the rundown is, every child/teen on earth starts gaining powers or (more often) dies in the process, their powers correlate to the color their eyes glow whenever they use it, government decides to put survivors in camps, story follows runaways, angsty YA dystopian adventure stuff ensues!

the main characters+powers i thought out so far are

courtney is green (supergenius)

duncan is blue (telekinetic)

izzy is red (pyrokinesis/fire breath basically)

gwen is yellow (electrokinesis/can manipulate electricity)

heather is orange (mind control/memory manipulation)

cody is also a blue but he cant control his powers very well yet and duncan is,, Not very excited to train him

i was thinking noah could be a sarcastic ass green and at first nobody even believes him when he says hes green bc every single smart comment is filtered through a layer of sass but when he starts putting effort in he actually becomes a good asset

timeline;

in the actual story theres quite a few big escapes from the camps so i imagine them all leaving at various points and finding each other later on

duncan and gwen (the two goths) team up in the escape and izzy finds them and kind of just,,,, doesnt leave 

same with cody and noah later

finally theres courtney, who escaped on her own way before any of them did and shes doing jUSt FIne until they all infiltrate her hiding spots

and then theres heather who,,, they want to keep around bc oranges are considered in universe to be the strongest/most dangerous but they start to regret that decision, really fast,

backstories; 

courtneys so smart that when she developed her powers hardly anyone noticed a difference. she only got caught when the govt really started cracking down on survivors

as soon as duncan got his powers he immediately started using them to get into trouble and thought it was pretty cool actually till all the government takeover shit started happening. in this universe parents are heavily encouraged to turn their kids in when they get powers and since his parents were cops (something im dragging into this story too) he just decided to run away from home, and still ended up getting caught bc again, he ca nnot stay out of trouble

cody got his powers while he was bedridden with the flu, so it was a pretty uneventful time but he thinks thats why his powers turned out so weak and hard to control

izzys so wild that her parents dont pay a lot of attention to her anymore (a hc i have for main universe izzy too r.i.p.) so her situation was pretty much the same as courtneys, no one suspected anything till govt officials showed up at her door and she blasted them out with a fireball

heather was actually the most freaked out by her powers and pretends to embrace them now because she likes the control aspect of it, but deep down she wishes she had gotten literally Anything else

gwen was also freaked out by her powers, she couldnt use any electronics without frying them and (much like the main electrokinetic character in tdm) had to wear gloves for a while to avoid destroying everything

noah just didnt. really care till he got to the camp and constantly got in trouble for mouthing off to the guards (greens have to do forced labor and arent even allowed to make eye contact with guards, you tell me that little twink wouldnt have his feet up on the table and be sayign shit like ‘since im so smart ive decided that this is bullshit and you should be working for me’)

relationships;

yall know i hate all the love triangle stuff so i just imagine duncney, similar to how it happened in tdi aka slow burn annoyance that turns into ‘oh no s/hes hot’

gwen and courtney are tight af bc thEy DesErVe ThaT FrIEnDSHip ,

izzy is also somewhat in the gal group and heather woudl rather die than associate with any of them

duncan is (begrudgingly) training cody to use his powers better so theyre,,,, al most fri en ds? ?

noah is more tight with these people than heather is but in a similar boat where hes just kinda. along for the ride and doesnt rly want to get close to anyone,,, feel free to turn that into a slow burn noco thing at your own discretion,

anyways thats all i got rn i wish i had the energy to write a fic or smth but i gotta get school done first so please humbly accept what my brain has compiled

#total drama #tdi #also im sure this goes w/o saying but if you like the idea you got full permission from me to do your own content with it ! #and tweak things to your liking/add or change characters etc etc etc this is just my ideas for it so pls have at it! #theres more characters i wanted to add in too like dj and dawn and p much anyone on my favs list but hhh #there arent a lot of choices and in the actual story theres only like 4 main characters so its hard to imagine a rly big group #original

[gffa]

@skymurdock​ asked:  “Have you ever seen Pushing Daisies?” @darthluminescent�� answered, “I’ve seen enough to know the premise of it!” @skymurdock​ said:  "GOOD.  Pls imagine Obi-wan as a baker who can bring the dead back to life and Anakin as a former murder victim.  Former bc he's not dead anymore! Unfortunately he can't touch his boyfriend." And then... this... happened.

Legally speaking Anakin is dead, thank you witness protection program you are sure great at doing your goddamn job, but also he's currently hanging around Obi-Wan's bakery as a waiter and, like. Trying to find new ways to make plastic wrap sexy.

He can't touch him because he might die again??? NO PROBLEM, Anakin is going to get Very Creative then.

Obi-Wan is both endeared and tempted to roll his eyes skyward.

Obi-Wan missed him so much and yet!  He still can't touch him because if he does Anakin will die again and he can't take that.  He would like to be selfish just this one time, but he can't.

And there will be so many romantic kisses through plastic wrap!

Anakin showing up, completely naked, except for the plastic wrap all around his body and a suggestive smirk and Obi-Wan's like, oh, thank god you're attractive, because this is terrible and not at all sexy.  And it's really not.  But it is adorable.

They go through so much plastic wrap it's a wonder neither of them have developed some kind of Pavlovian response.

Eventually there are full body suits, but, like.  Before that.  SO MUCH PLASTIC WRAP.

It's also really hot and doesn't breathe AT ALL. After about half an hour, Anakin's just like, "[flops back onto the bed] [whines] This was a terrible idea."

"Can we go back to mutual masturbation and not go through so much plastic wrap?" "NO. I'll figure something out!!!"

There are a lot of late evenings where Anakin wraps himself in a sheet, like a full on burrito with only his face still exposed, and he sort of hop-shuffles over to Obi-Wan and then curls up against him and snuggles against his side.

Burrito Anakin tends to flop himself over Obi-Wan's lap if there's a couch and a TV nearby, like, dammit, he will have SOME semblance of normal cuddling while watching TV!

He just fucking wraps himself up in a bedsheet like a burrito and leans against Obi-Wan that way. Occasionally they hold hands through the bedsheet.

A few times he'll throw the sheet over Obi-Wan and just go full octopus on him, wrap arms and legs around Obi-Wan and he can feel SOME of Obi-Wan's body heat that way.

This is. Well, it's the closest thing Anakin can have to actual touch, at this point, and while it sucks he will take it anyway.  He aches for skin to skin contact, to feel the warmth directly on his own skin, but in the meantime, burrito Anakin will take what he can get.

He's pretty starved for touch, and the fact that he'd literally die if he touched Obi-Wan is, well, he is deeply unhappy about that. It's like, hey, great, he's not dead! But now he has to use a fake identity and not go see his kids and not touch his boyfriend.  None of which he is enthusiastic about.

BUT ALSO:

Ahsoka is totally the PI of this whole mess and works part-time at Obi-Wan's place for the employee discount.

She and Anakin once attached wheels to a chair and then used fire extinguishers as rocket boosters.

Ahsoka asks him one time if she can hug him and he's like "...please?"  And that's how Obi-wan walked in on the both of them snoozing on each other during lunch break.

He kind of randomly sneak hugs Ahsoka, just walks up behind her and wraps his arms around her and cuddles her for like three minutes straight, no warning or words exchanged.

She just pats him on the arm and relaxes into the hug and lets him press his face against her shoulder to feel someone.  But it can only fix so much.

Ahsoka occasionally complains a little about Anakin hugging her out of nowhere but like, she missed him too. a lot.  And he hugs really well.

Padmé is pretty sure her ex is dead but also for some reason she keeps seeing him sometimes?? Must be the grief. That's all. It's not like his ghost is hanging around haunting her.  Meanwhile Anakin is quietly hanging out nearby whenever Luke and Leia are in his vicinity.

He wants to hug them. He wants to tell them he's here and not in the ground, he wants to make up for lost time and tell them he loves them but he can't.

Luke probably wanders off one time bc he saw something and nearly falls somewhere and suddenly he gets caught and it's his dad!!! he's so happy!!! confused as well bc mom explained that dad couldn't ever come back ever because he was dead.  But like. He's just happy his father came back to keep him safe.

And it breaks Anakin's heart to have to tell him not to tell Leia or Padmé because he is supposed to be dead, after all, he's got a gravestone in the cemetery.

"But why???" "You just—can't, okay? Some very bad people are after me, and it's safer for you and Leia and your mom if I stay dead.  Please, Luke, can you keep this a secret?"

AND IT’S STILL SAD:

He missed Ahsoka too! but sometimes when he hugs her it's really just bc there's nobody else he can touch around here, Obi-Wan is obviously off-limits if Anakin wants to keep breathing.

He really loves hugging Ahsoka, but sometimes it's definitely a substitute and he'd like nothing more than to go crawl into bed with Obi-Wan and have both of them actually be naked.

It's nice that he can touch other people at least, he's not totally alone, but it's no real replacement for being able to ride your boyfriend's dick when GOD you haven't gotten properly laid in so long.

He just has to settle for like, long showers by himself instead if he can't use cling wrap.

He misses hickeys and bruises and properly rough sex, he hasn't gotten laid in such a long time jfc.

On the bright side though he had no idea he had a thing for gloves, so that's New.

It gets really hard to hold still and not accidentally dislodge the plastic wrap sometimes.  But on another bright note, apparently he has a thing for being tied or handcuffed to the headboard while Obi-Wan blows and/or fucks him.  So, well, at least that's a plus.

But he really wants hickeys NOT done through a thin shirt or a sheet.  He wants to feel Obi-Wan's tongue against his, he wants to feel the rough callouses on Obi-Wan's hands, he wants to feel the warmth of Obi-Wan's skin, he wants to press his face against the scratch of Obi-Wan's beard, he wants to hold both of them in his hand while they rut against each other, he wants to feel Obi-Wan's hand on his neck, wants to put his own hands on Obi-Wan's face when he leans in to kiss him.

Honestly sometimes he is just really tempted to say fuck it and kiss him anyway, it would be nice if that was the last thing he did on this earth but at the same time.

He has really terrible impulse control, he's kind of afraid he'll actually do it one day, just because he can't live like this.  And also he'd never see his kids again and ONE kiss is not worth the thousand ones he actually wants.

BUT THAT’S TOO MUCH SAD.  FIX IT.

Honestly if they ever somehow fix it he'd probably end up pretty much making up for it by kissing Obi-Wan as much as he can.  The song said a thousand sweet kisses and by god he's going to get those kisses.

Eventually they fix it--THEY DO, OKAY--and Anakin literally leaps onto Obi-Wan, who thankfully was sitting down when they were sure it would work, they tested it on other things a whole bunch of times, so many insects brought back to life and stayed that way!.  And just won't get off Obi-Wan's lap as he kisses everywhere he can reach, a hundred smacks all across the plans of Obi-Wan's face.

On his mouth, on his cheeks, on his forehead, on the bridge of his nose, on his neck, and right back to his mouth again to start all over.  Butterfly kisses and then slightly harder smacking kisses and then soft kisses again.  He's going to have a thousand of them THAT AFTERNOON, by god.

And then the long, long slow kissing, the gentle roll of their tongues against each other, the way Anakin can frame Obi-Wan's face between his hands, run his thumbs along those cheekbones of his, feel the warmth of Obi-Wan's face against his palms finally, he refuses to stop for literally an hour.

Every night ends with a goodnight kiss, every morning with a wake up one, it doesn't matter how foul either of their breath is, Obi-Wan can complain all he likes that he should brush his teeth first, that they BOTH should, but he's not getting out of that bed without a kiss.

Same for middle of the night bathroom runs, Anakin is octopused around him, he can FEEL when Obi-Wan gets up, NO YOU CAN'T GO UNLESS YOU KISS ME FIRST and then waits until Obi-Wan gets back to get another kiss before wrapping arms and legs around him again.

And they are, of course, immediately wiggled under Obi-Wan's clothes.  Mostly not even in a sexy times way, just that Anakin wants to feel skin against skin.

Anakin, himself, obviously, is naked, NO CLOTHES EVER AGAIN!!!! he shouts the first night.  \:D/ Clothes SOMETIMES, Obi-Wan says. NO CLOTHES.  NEVER AGAIN.  \;D/ Obi-Wan pinches the bridge of his nose, which is difficult with the way Anakin is attached to him.  "Clothes in public then.  When Ahsoka's here.  Or any other people." Anakin just kisses him again.  "Eh, maybe." It's going to have to be good enough for now.

He's spent years settling for the ghost of a touch, kissing with a sheet of plastic in between, so like he is not wasting a goddamn moment when he could be touching Obi-Wan.

He's just like, "Oh my god I missed this so much I am never wearing clothes again." "If you start a nudist colony, Anakin—" He kisses him. It's great, the way Obi-Wan makes this little protesting noise and then just sort of melts into the kiss, he missed that.

The first night, Anakin ceremoniously throws the sheets to the floor.  He tried to throw them out the window, but Obi-Wan managed to convince him to just the floor, that's good enough, The Evil Sheets That Kept Us Separated For Too Long And Were A Symbol Of All That Stood Between Us (Obi-Wan repeats with a sigh, but at least a straight face) have been vanquished, Anakin.

He proposed a Viking funeral.  Obi-Wan immediately shot it down by pointing out that it would set off all the smoke alarms and wake up his neighbors.

It's the middle of the night when Anakin is shivering and trying to burrow into Obi-Wan's side, when Obi-Wan finally brings it up. "Perhaps--and I'm just speculating here, no need to jump to conclusions--the bedsheets are NOT the root of all evil and everything that kept us apart." "No," Anakin says Very Firmly.  "NO MORE SHEETS, EVER." Obi-Wan looks at the ceiling and prays for patience.  Then maybe smirks a little, because he's kind of an asshole.  "Well, if you're really cold, we can get some plastic wr--" "DON'T YOU JOKE ABOUT THAT."

Ten minutes of shivering boyfriend later, there's a very sullen, "....okay, maybe ONE sheet.  But it can only go over the top of both of us!  NOTHING BETWEEN." "Nothing between," Obi-Wan promises solemnly.

Anakin ends up hogging the damn blanket anyway.  He gets easily cold and he got into the habit of wrapping up like a damn burrito, it's hard to break it.

He's so offended in the morning, too.  "You PROMISED--!" he starts to yell indignantly. "I was not the one who stole the blanket in the middle of the night and wrapped themselves up like a burrito out of habit," Obi-Wan sharply responds.  Okay, so, maybe he's a little grumpy at being denied contact now that they finally can.  He didn't expect it to be quite so sharp, though. "I WOULD NEVER," Anakin is aghast at this. They argue about it for a good ten minutes, WHILE Anakin is still kissing him all over this face.  "I [smooch] would [smooch] never [smooch] because [smooch] I [smooch] want [smooch] this [smooch] more [smooch] than [smooch] [smooch] [smooch] ANYTHING."

Anakin protests that he DIDN'T, and meanwhile Obi-Wan points out that he certainly didn't wrap Anakin up like a burrito in the middle of the night, because for one thing he was asleep by that time.  At least up until he woke up and it was cold and Anakin had stolen the blanket and wrapped himself up like a very tall and very cold burrito.

Considering Anakin was clutching the blanket in his fist, yes, Obi-Wan is certain that it was him who wrapped him up like a burrito. Anakin starts to puff up to argue again, so Obi-Wan offers an olive branch and kisses him.  It has nothing to do with that Anakin can't argue if there's something else trying to work its way down his throat, not at all.

#obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #obikin #text #skymurdock

[highgaarden]

ok so bc I'm all like DON'T GIVE UP THE SUPERPOWERS wrt Caro rn I thought why not request a canon-compliant superhero non-AU for Caro where somewhere down the line she decides to ~use her powers for good~ and do the vigilante thing, mask and everything (no stupid impractical costume tho). Extra points if she and Bonnie form a whole Witch/Vampire superhero team. Klaus can read abt it in the paper and figure out it's Caro+Bonnie and be amused and be into it. ♥♥♥

i tried my best. also, i have no clue what’s going on in the originals, but from scraps i get an a very helpful explanation from my friend anne, i sort of got the gist of it, tried to work more of the plot into this, and then decided to just… not. much apologies, please be kind to my v. confused self should you decide to leave a review.

12:51;

or: a superheroes origin story in five parts. 

Klaus/Caroline, Bonnie/Damon | wc. 3705 | ch. 1/5

read on: AO3 / ff.net

.

.

—

PartOne

InWhich Everybody’s Week Must Have Been Pretty Rough

—

 .

.

The weekend after Klaus escaped from his wall, he sat down in his studywith three bottles of liquor and double that amount of fresh blood, a steakcooked medium rare, and five years’ worth of newspapers to catch up with theworld.

Freya regarded him curiously. “You could have done away with the mess.We just ordered those new tablets.”

Rebekah was much ruder about the piles he left. She was probably stillmad she had had to miss four seasons of Supernaturalin order to save his skin.

Klaus didn’t answer them. He continued skimming the pages with aprevailing interest, rubbing ink and paper between his fingers. He soon foundthat he hadn’t missed much in his Marcel-imposed exile; that the mundanities oflife had persevered through the years.

His thoughts started to wonder when he was three-years deep into hiscatching up. Nothing caught his eye, and he was starting to feel the gratitudeof being able to sit in a comfortable armchair as opposed to being shackled toa floor dusted with rubble chip away.

Until he saw it.

He read the little opinion piece, then read it again, and a third timefor good measure.

And then he called Damon Salvatore.

—

At that point, not even Damon knew of their little hijinks despite havingmoved himself into their apartment. He used the pretence of “keeping an eye onthem” to make it past the front door. The living room became his sanctum santorum, and the couch he tookrefuge in constantly smelled like booze and Doritos.

Caroline was not happy with this arrangement, and made sure to be veryvocal about it every chance she got.

Sometimes it ranged from loud, to shrill, towake-your-neighbours-up-at-3am-because-Damon-you-fuck-you-left-your-underwear-in-my-laundry-basket piercing.

Tonight, Damon had the apartment to himself, and was glad for the peaceand quiet. Caroline was out on a date, and Bonnie was at the library borrowinga book. She was always at the library borrowing books, and he liked tellingpeople how bookish she was in a tone that was both patronizing and fond. It hadtaken some time, but he had finally perfected it.

In the middle of his Grey’sAnatomy rerun (“Denny? You chosea dying sack of meat over Alex? Really,Izzie?” he yelled at the tv), his phone rang.

It was Klaus. He hadn’t heard from the fucker in more than a decade, andwas immediately suspicious.

“City Morgue,” he answered cautiously.

“Just to be clear, you’re still second best,” came the familiar gout ofKlaus’s voice. “I only called you because Stefan’s number seems to not beworking, mate.”

“That’s ‘cause it’s not,” Damon said. “How do you still have mine?”

“If I wanted idle chit chat I would’ve resurrected Finn again.”

Damon muted the tv and got to his feet. “And yet here you are, makingidle chit chat.”

“I merely called to enquire about Caroline and Bonnie’s wellbeing.”

“They’re fine,” Damon said shortly.

“You best make sure they’re getting adequate rest for all thecrime-fighting they’re doing,” Klaus said, and killed the line.

Damon spat out his bourbon.

That’s how it all started, really.

—

Caroline was having a crummy night. The sole of her shoe had torn awayas she was chasing her assailant across the rooftops of Midtown, and it nowflapped with every step she took, and slowed her down considerably.

“I’m gonna get you, Raul!” she yelled, to make up for how she was losinghim, fast. “Your album sucked!”

Raul the Eurovision Vampire came to a screeching halt. He was screechingquite literally, because of all the insults Caroline had hurled at him in thepast week of stalking him, this one hurt the most.

“And your win last year?” Caroline continued as she hauled herself overa crumbling ledge. “Total pandering.”

Raul hissed and bared his fangs. “You know nothing of talent, sillygirl. If you did you wouldn’t be spending your nights in cowardice, hiding yourface with a gaudy mask. A poor man’s Catwoman.”

Caroline bristled, because it had taken her and Bonnie splurging on asewing course in Uptown to get their stitching just right.

“And you would’ve gotten more than a deal sponsoring mattresses afteryou won Eurovision,” she retorted, and Raul actually looked pained.

Actual, legit pain.

Caroline sighed. “Look, I’ll cut you a deal. See this stake here? Iwon’t stick it in your heart if you meet my conditions.”

Raul warily eyed the stake she was twirling between her fingers.Normally he would have told her to kiss his ass, but he was cornered, and hedidn’t fancy becoming a splat on the sidewalk.

That, and he was afraid of heights.

“And the conditions are?” he asked finally.

Caroline took a moment to rip the failing sole completely off her shoe.It came off with one clean pull, and when she looked up Raul was still there,which meant there was still hope for a redemption arc for him.

She gave him a winsome smile. “Do you have a pen?”

—

Bonnie slid in through her bedroom window, heady with glory. She hadgotten better at sneaking in and out at odd hours, but evidently not by much,since she managed to wake Damon up.

This was because he was in her bed when she threw herself on it.

“Damon, what the hell?”

Damon awoke with a snort. “A-ha! Proofof your foolhardy life choices!”

Bonnie rolled her eyes and unhooked her cape. She made a mental note to passCaroline twenty dollars. “Took you long enough to realize.”

“I am living with hoodwinks.”Damon pouted. “How could you not have let me in on this secret?”

“Damon, you helped me with laundry last week. You literally foldedpieces of my costume. It had my alter ego name on stitched across the front.”She swung her feet and walked to the paper partition by her dresser, where shewiggled out of her outfit safe from Damon’s prying eyes into a worn Whitmoresweater and blue shorts with lightning patterns on them.

“Are those anti-aging potions you’re brewing finally screwin’ with yourhead?” Damon was still on a roll. “You know how I had to find out? Klaus!”

“Klaus is alive?” Bonnie asked.

“Yes, and even in his state of barely living he ousted you and BlondeDistraction’s sly night crime-kicking.”

Bonnie started to respond, but then got sidetracked. “Blonde Distraction?”

“Uh – yeah.” He fiddled with his phone. “Blonde Distraction and FeistyFire.”

“That is fucking terrible,” Bonnie said mildly. “And not even ournames.”

“That’s what I call you in my blog, which I only update when I’m drunk. I’vebeen following you for years. Checkout the threads!” Damon waved his phone in her face.

“Are you drunk right now?” she asked.

“Yes,” Damon said sulkily, “but only half-stupid. You were never at thelibrary, were you?”

“Well, you were really sweet about it—”

“And you kept missing all those scrabble/pizza nights!” Damon howledinto his hands, betrayal gutting him like a fish.

“Damon,” Bonnie narrowed her eyes. “I’m tired. “The next time you spendthe night in my bed, I’m burning your brains out.”

“Reduced to being treated as one of your petty criminals,” Damonsniffed. “So be it. Our friendship always had an expiry date, huh?”

Damon slinked out of her room. Bonnie considered calling after him, butfigured she’d reason in the morning. For now, she had a huge bruise in her sideto nurse, and sleep was calling.

—

It started with scaring off new vampires from innocent clubgoers, andthen keeping the pasty creep-o’s who lived in the apartment adjacent to theirsin line when bodies started piling up in their shared dumpster.

Caroline hadn’t blown all her cash for an apartment in New York just forit to be crawling with the diseased, depravity and blood, so she took it uponherself to clean it up. An act of charity, if you will.

At night, she donned a mask and put on sensible boots. No stupidimpractical spandex for her, nor did she for a minute entertain midriff-baringleather, no matter how hot she might have looked.

Sipping from her thermos of warmed AB, she kneeled by stone gargoylesand prowled through the night. Afterwards she would either jump from rooftop torooftop, or practice her parkour, feeling invincible and (not gonna lie) reallyfucking cool.

At around 1am she got the read from Bonnie (in other words, Bonnietexted her in their coded-emoji) that their target for the night had arrived.

From five stories above she followed the sound of his footsteps throughthe alleyway, waiting to catch a heartbeat. When none came, she knew that hewas the one. His steps faltered when he heard a noise behind him. Caroline tookthe opportunity to jump down on him.

“Hello,” she smiled sweetly, when he was thrashing and spittingunderneath her. She was sitting on his back, which couldn’t be comfortable.

“Killing. Maiming. Money-laundering.” Bonnie came slowly from the mouthof the alleyway, her cape flowing behind her. “That last one’s kind of random,but the other shit we have on you—yikes.”

Caroline gathered his hair in her gloved hands and yanked hard. Thevampire cried out, enraged, but didn’t look away from her piercing gaze.

“You’ve got a locker full of civilians waiting like lambs forslaughter,” she said slowly, so he might not miss the threat in her voice.“Tell us where they are and you get to live.”

“I’m gonna have to call your bluff,” he rasped. “I’ve cut a pretty gooddeal, and ain’t no stinkin’ blonde and her twitchy sidekick are gonna stop me.”

Bonnie’s face darkened.

“Oooh,” Caroline whistled. “Bad choice of words there, bud. She’s not mysidekick. We’re partners. I kick ass, she takes names. Sometimes I take names,and she kicks ass. Though ‘kick’ might not be the right verb here…”

“I prefer not having to touch you scum,” Bonnie said, and from herfingers erupted flames.

Caroline smiled, eyes shining brightly in the fear that Bonnie hadincited into the now-still vampire.

“What are vampires most afraid of?” Caroline whispered into his fear.

“Werewolf venom.”

Caroline clicks her tongue. “No, the other thing.”

The vampire, cold sweat on his forehead, hesitated. ‘Uh—stakes?”

Caroline knuckled the base of his skull. “Fire, you moron. She’s waving it right in your face!”

It didn’t help that he passed out immediately.

Bonnie sighed and dropped her hands. The alley dimmed once again. “Canwe talk about this whole intimidation tactic thing?”

Caroline refused to look her in the eye.

—

It took about twenty minutes for him to come to, by which time Carolinehad gotten bored of sitting on his back and had decided to chain him to thedumpster instead.

After they heckled and tortured the information out of him, Carolinepulled out the usual contract – stating that no further harm would come to himfrom their hands if he got the hell out of the city and signed along the dottedline – when he started monologueing and posturing in a way that was really, really familiar.

Caroline pulled the pen away from his trembling grasp for it. Shesquinted in the dark alley, trying to make out his eyes.

“Caroline?” Bonnie asked, but Caroline barely heard.

The vampire was still monologueing, and Caroline felt a rising anger.She knew a compelled gaze anywhere.

“Damn it, Bon.”

Her fist swung out of her own accord, knocking the vampire out cold.There was a satisfying crack accompanying the slump of his neck, and Carolinedusted her hands off.

Bonnie eyed his body with distaste. “Harsh, Care. Don’t you usually waitfor them to sign the contract first?”

—

True to his word, Damon had indeed started a blog following the accountsof Blonde Distraction and Feisty Fire (not their actual names, but given thefact that he only ever blogged when he was drunk, he never bothered to learntheir real names) and their vigilante crime-fighting on his blog, WatchOutVillainz.com.

It was a smorgasbord of garish colour, Comic Sans, and badly-wordedheadings.

Klaus would never admit it, but he loved reading it.

He followed it with the same tenacity Caroline had for new episodes ofThe Bachelor, and one night even set up a username for himself to partake inthe lengthy discussions over who Blonde Distraction and Feisty Fire might be.

His username was entirely anonymous, and he enjoyed having a persona toparade as he took down trolls and ventured the tags, verbally maiming anyoneand everyone who dared speak ill of Blonde Distraction or Feisty Fire.

Granted, he didn’t care much for the witch, but thought that Carolinewould like it if he were to stand up for her too, so he did.

Damon showed up at his hotel room one night sullen-faced. “Get off mywebsite.”

“Make me,” Klaus said, typing progressively faster on his keyboard.

Damon failed to make him, and returned home, turning all his loyalfollowers on one hybrid_master_127. Unfortunately, Klaus seemed to have accrueda cluster of minions of his own in his short time of perusingWatchOutVillainz.com, and they threatened to hack into the mainframe of one ofhis life’s most precious work.

Damon, having limited knowledge of IT, highly doubted the existence of amainframe and whether or not it could be hacked.

In the end decided to play it safe, and Klaus stayed.

—

The way Caroline figured out it was Klaus who had been sending thugvamps her way was almost as fast as him discovering their true identities asthe Vigilantes of the Manhattan Bridge Overpass.

A week after Damon had almost thrashed his hotel room, Klaus opens thedoor to his magnificently ransacked quarters. Caroline was sitting on whatappeared to be the cracked granite of his bathtub, in his living room, with herlegs crossed. She was still in her mask and boots.

“What is wrong with you?” sheyelled. “Why can’t you pick up the phone and call like a normal person?”

“That would have ruined the fun,” Klaus replied. “Besides, would youhave answered?”

Caroline hesitated.

“I thought so.”

“You never answered any of mycalls.”

“I was chained up in a wall, love.”

Caroline considered this. “Hm.”

Klaus picked his way towards her, straightening lamps as he went. Minutegoosefeathers floated about his shoulders; the pillows had all been spearedonto the ceiling fan like kebabs. “It was all too easy to suss out it was you.”

Caroline refused to bite. Instead, she stayed silent, watching him comecloser and closer.

“You offered them redemption instead of gutting them alive, in documentform to boot.” Klaus sounded reproachful and he righted an upset table to hidehis exasperation. “Furthermore, Bonnie made no secret of her pyromanicabilities. She was always very artful with that certain power of hers.”

“You compelled yourself a massacre just to draw me out,” she hissed. “Ihappen to take my craft very seriously—”

“I know, love. I’m not laughing.” And indeed he wasn’t. In fact, he sortof admired the spirit in which she undertook her task. In all honesty, he believedthis to be a phase—it took him a while to process the fact that she’d chosen tospend her eternity (or at least, a significant early part of it) doing this.

“So why are you here?” Caroline asked.

“Because.” He paused. Why was hehere? Papa Tunde’s torment had left him withered and raw; Hayley and Freya hadgone to the ends of the earth to release him and when he’d woken up Hope waswell in her teen years. Despite the world staying to same, too much of what hecared about had changed. He needed—he needed to make sure, needed to see forhimself, how she was.

Perhaps she was right. A phone call would have worked better.

“I wanted to offer my services,” is what he decided on at last.

Caroline snorted so loud he thought it was a piece of his ceiling fallingon them.

—

“I know all the criminals in this city,” he insisted, dogging her downthe street. Caroline walked remarkably fast in the night. She had left her maskin the debris of his room, stating she had ‘plenty more’.

“I’d rather go to vampire jail,” she told him sedately.

“Ah, that rather poorly masked vampire rehab you set up,” he said,falling into step with her. “The Elizabeth-Bill Institute for the MorallyBankrupt. I was just short of amused as to what an easy target you madeyourself.”

“And yet the only person who managed to figure it all out was you,” shesaid.

“Well—Kol did, too. We were playing crime-bingo with your exploits.”Klaus grinned. “I was one money-launder away from a win, so I decided to pullthings to my favour.”

“I’ll wall you in myself,” she seethed.

“Oh, where will you possibly find the time in between all thiscrime-fighting?”

Caroline whipped around, fangs bared. “Leave me alone, Klaus.”

“How are the twins?” he asked gently.

“None of your business.”

“They should be around Hope’s age, shouldn’t they?”

“Stop talking about them.”

Caroline took a detour through an alleyway, and with more agility thanKlaus expected, climbed her way up the side of a building, all to get away fromhim.

Klaus weighed his options, then hefted himself up after her.

He found her sitting on a rooftop edge, the city pulsating beneath them.He sat down beside her and was surprised when she offered him a thermos ofblood. It was still warm.

“Where were you keeping that?” he asked admiringly, studying her outfit.

She sent him a look that could kill, and went back to countingheadlights. “Please don’t tell anyone,” she said quietly, after a while.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he said. He cleared his throat and glanced ather. “When did it start?”

Caroline shuts her eyes. “A few years ago. Josie and Lizzie were growingup pretty fast. Alaric—he, well. Didn’t want me to have…” she gestured vaguely,“words were exchanged. I decided that if I could do my part to help in anyother way, I’d do it.”

“You’ll soon be bored with the futility of it, I imagine.”

“I’ve got an end goal in mind,” she said absently.

After a fashion he realized she had stopped counting headlights and wasfocused on a window in the building across the cobweb of streets. Two girls,remarkably alike, were pulling the curtains closed for the night.

“They’re nocturnal creatures,” he said softly. “If I could venture a guess,just like their mother.”

Caroline didn’t answer. Instead, she rested her head on his shoulder. Hestiffened in surprise, but she didn’t comment on it, neither did she move away.“Next time, just call. You can’t base my reactions on the girl you knew tenyears ago.”

“Some things will always remain singular,” he said. He wasn’t speakingabout her. She hoped she saw it in the look he was giving her.

Caroline pulled away slowly. For a long time, she only looked at him.Klaus took a chance and reached for her hand, after which she tangled herfingers in his. They stayed that way for only a short moment, but the feelingof her palm, soft in his, lingered long after she’d slid her thermos back intoits hiding place on her body and left.

—

Damon had taken to fixing them breakfast in the wee hours of the morningwhen they finally returned. He reasoned that it was the least he could do, whatwith all the slander he keeps slinging their way on his website.

“To blindside the scrutinizing eyes of the public!” he insisted,flipping pancakes.

However, when Caroline returned home with an extra guest, his spatulafell onto the island with a smack.

“I refuse to feed him,” he told Bonnie. So offended was he that Carolinehad brought Klaus home that he refused to speak to Caroline too. Looking rightthrough them, he pointed out, “And I only made pancakes for three.”

Damon gestured angrily at the table, where three immaculate plates piledhigh with pancakes and cream had been set.

Klaus scowled. “But there’s four more, burning, by the way, on theskillet.” He tried not to sound too indignant.

“You kidding me? These are all for Bonnie!”

As the two immortal beings squabbled, Caroline speared a triangle ofpancake with her fork. Bonnie sipped her glass of orange juice. It felt strangefor the apartment to be so full, especially with the presence of Damon’s entireliquor cabinet dotting every corner.

Klaus finally wrestled himself a seat next to Caroline, but not beforeflicking off Damon’s shirt that had been slung over the back of the chair with dispassion.

“That’s it! I’m done! You can make breakfast yourselves from now on!” Damon yanked off his apron and was gonewith a huff.

“Does this happen a lot?” Klaus enquired, sniffing around a piece ofbacon.

“More times than you can imagine,” Bonnie said.

—

In the coming days, Klaus visited more often. His hotel room had beenproperly demolished, he took to reminding Caroline, who sighed and held out atowel for him to use her shower.

Bonnie delighted in the fact that she now has leverage against having abroody roommate/parasite, seeing as Caroline had one of her own now, too.

Damon continued to be miserable.

Klaus continued to goad them with his offer.

Caroline and Bonnie continued their crime-fighting.

“Let’s not make this routine,” Bonnie told Caroline as she garrotted avampire who had been hell-bent on chowing down on a family of four. “By nextweek we kick them out.”

“You got it, Bon,” Caroline said, waving the contract in the chokingvampire’s face. “We’re burning the couch. And can we finally talk about that cape of yours?”

Bonnie rolled her eyes, but nodded her agreement as the vampire veryreluctantly signed her name along the dotted line.

—

tbc

9B��`

#klaroline #bamon #klaroline fanfiction #bamon fanfiction #ishenwulf #lol HOW DO I EVEN GO ABOUT TAGGING THIS SHIT #hannah writes things #askbox request #fic: 1251 #otp: speak my name when you damn me #otp: yellow ledbetter #this was fun to write and i actually had heaps more buuut i figured i'd save them for upcoming chapters #here you go ishi YOU ASKED FOR IT #tvd