#every time i watch that scene with nat in tws | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

creative-caramel-coffee · 1 month

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Icicles and Injuries

Pairing: Wandanat x Reader

Prompts: Frozen (Day 2) + No way out (Day 11)

TW: minor injury, being trapped, hypothermia, mentions of death, partial nudity (consented)

Words: 2K

Summary: Reader gets trapped and needs to be saved before she freezes to death.

For once the miss had gone well. No injuries or accidents or hidden traps. It had been a breeze. Now all that was left was to sit tight in the nearest safe house in the woods and wait for Tony to send a jet to come and collect you. ‘You’ being Wanda, Natasha, Kate and Yelena.

By late afternoon it was still light outside and snowing lightly. A white dust of flakes covered every available surface in a thin layer of pale snow.

Being in the woods it was a beautiful sight to behold, yet Natasha and Yelena having come from Russia were most winters bordered on nuclear, did not share your enthusiasm.

Wanda and Kate had spent some time in Europe before and were a little more used to it. And sure, you had seen snow many times, but it was always a point of beauty to you. It helped you relax. Soft and cold it continued to drift down from above coating the landscape below.

“Wands? Natty? Do you guys wanna come with me for a walk?” You asked popping your head into the lounge room of the cabin.

“No thanks detka. Not right now. Yelena and Kate were going to watch a movie and I think Wanda was going to start dinner soon.” Natasha said looking genuine.

“Okay.” You said feeling a little saddened by the fact nobody would be coming with.

“Make sure you take a coat. It’s cold.” Nat said over her shoulder as she positioned herself between her sister and her sister's girlfriend with a shit-eating grin. Always the older sister, you thought rolling your eyes.

You said a quick goodbye to Wanda who echoed Nat’s statement about a coat before putting one on and a pair of gloves, boots and a beanie before entering the snow scene outside the cabin.

You headed for the trail behind the house. It was marked with signs on the trees as it snowed enough around here for trails to be easily lost without proper signage.

You sighed, feeling at peace and relaxed as the snow crunched softly underfoot. Setting off down the trail it was lined with fresh snow and small animal tracks, probably squirrels or rabbits.

As you continued down the track the cabin grew smaller behind you. It was a loop and came out down by the other side of the house.

Seeing the first sign on the tree you smiled at the small red arrow which was on a wood-stained oak board nailed into the tree.

You continued down the track listening to the serene quietness and peaceful sound of snow and birdsong.

Pulling your coat around you some more it was getting colder as the evening wore on and your nose was surely frozen as small snowflakes collected on your eyelashes.

As you continued down the short trail a flicker of movement out of the corner of your eye caught your attention. A small squirrel had hopped up onto what looked like the snow-covered husk of an old tree. The little creature chittered at you and you smiled softly at the peacefulness of the moment.

But before you could even think the squirrel ran up the tree. The tree looked like it had survived many winters and was well past due to be fell in the summer. The squirrel continued up the branches which were creaking eerily already laden with snow on the branches. Then there was a sharp cracking crunch, and the tree began to fall.

At the last minute the squirrel jumped onto a nearby branch out of harms way. Yet you stood frozen. You just had time to duck and cover as the tree crashed down onto the path. It fell in a way that had managed to avoid hitting you but had pinned your coat under its heavy trunk. Your left boot was also pinned, and you bit a cold breath of air back in shock.

The snow continued falling, however it seemed almost menacing now. If you stayed out much longer into the evening the temperatures would continue to fall, and that beautiful snow might be the thing that kills you.

You cursed yourself from forgetting your phone, not that it would have a signal, but it would be better than nothing. They may have been able to track you at least.

The sun began to dip under the tree line and the temperature began to drop faster without the sun to provide warmth.

The snow was collecting on top of the tree making the chance of escape seem slimmer and slimmer.

The snow was beginning to build up either side of you now. Blocking you inside the wooden ribs of the tree. The branches caving around you with the snow beginning to form a roof and sides.

It was cold and it no longer felt like just your nose that was frozen. Your cheeks stung with the cold, and you wiggled your fingers and toes to try and warm them up as well. Frostbite was a very real thing and one you did not want to ever have experience in.

As the sun began to cruise lower and lower in the sky it continued to get colder. The light was starting to go now as well, a dusky overcast type of light was all that was left. If this continued on for much longer you worried, they may never find you until the snow thawed, by then it would be too late.

Back in the cabin the movie was almost over. Yelena and Kate had ended up beside each other again with popcorn in their hair after flicking it at each other for the whole duration of the movie. Nat had already seen the movie and headed to the kitchen to fetch four mugs of hot chocolate to share.

As she stepped into the kitchen which smelled like heaven and smiled at Wanda.

“Wheres Y/n? Surely, she’ll want hot chocolate as well.” Natasha smiled.

“I thought she was with you?” Wanda said looking up from where she had been seasoning chicken.

“No?” Nat said frowning. “She should be back from her walk by now.”

“Oh god.” Wanda paled slightly. “She’s not still out there, is she?”

“If she is we better find her fast before it gets too dark. Cold weather like this can kill.” Natasha said. “You send Yelena and Kate to check the bedrooms before joining us in the woods. I’m going to see if i can find her. Join me when you’re done.” Nat said already slipping on a coat with a sense of urgency to her movements.

Wanda nodded her assent and went to tell Yelena and Kate.

After a little bit all three girls were out searching the woods. Wanda was focusing on finding you with her mind, but you were either asleep or close too it which worried her greatly.

Finally, she sensed you under an old looking tree covered in snow. She called the others over and focused, using her magic to move the tree off you.

When your red jacket came into sight Natasha was the first to get to you. Scooping your cold and limp form into her arms. You were breathing but also freezing cold.

“We need to warm her up. NOW!” Nat said as she began sprinting to the cabin with you in her arms.

Your cheeks had long since turned from a rosy red colour to a dusky blue as the temperature had fallen further.

Once Natasha burst through the front door she headed for the bedroom you, her and Wanda had been sharing the past few nights.

Wanda, Kate and Yelena followed close behind, nobody commenting on the water that was being tracked through the cabin. Their focus elsewhere.

Natasha gently set you down on the bed, Wanda beside her and Kate and Yelena hovering in the doorway.

“Alright.” Nat said. “Wanda i need you to help me get her out of these wet clothes they’re doing more harm than good.” She said already starting to peel off your soaked coat. “Yelena, Kate.” She began and the two stood a little straighter. “Go and run a warm bath, not too warm but just enough to not be cold.” Nat said and the two turned tail and headed for the bathroom.

Wanda was now working on taking off your snow-pants while nat continued stripping off your top half. After a minute you were left laying in just your sports bra and boxers, long past shivering.

“Now what?” Wanda asked seeming panicked.

“Now we warm her up. It works best with skin-to-skin contact. So, we need to cuddle her. Bring that blanket and put it on top. Once Yelena is done with the bath, we will kick them out.” Nat said. Pulling off her shirt and taking off her track pants. She was now stood in bike pants and a sports bra much like what she wore to training in the gym.

Wanda was one step behind as she took off her shirt in a matching outfit to Natasha’s.

You, Wanda and Natasha had been together almost three years now, so it was nothing new. But still, nat had sent Yelena and Kate away just because.

Nat climbed onto the bed beside you and began pulling a sheet over you. Wanda slipped into the bed on your other side and cuddled up close. Sucking in a sharp breath when your frigid skin came into contact with her. You made a small noise of pain and curled into her front. Your face tucked into her chest. Natasha curled up behind you, tucking you between the two of them. Wanda had one arm around your waist and the other holding the back of your head to her chest. Natasha had her arms over you and on Wanda’s bare hip and back.

After a few minutes of quiet cuddling, and the sound of your short huffy breathes, you began to stir slightly. Your eye’s blinked open before you whined and screwed them shut again.

Wanda carded a hand through your hair and shone softly to you.

“There we go. Come on. Come back to us baby-girl. You’re doing so well for us my love.” She coaxed, her hands tangling in your wet locks.

After a second the sound of the tap shutting off was heard and Yelena’s footsteps came down the hall. She peaked in and smiled at Natasha looking so domestic but bit back a comment.

“Your bath is ready sestra.” Yelena said with her heavy accent hiding her amusement.

“Alright.” Nat said as she shifted Wanda’s arms around you tightened.

“Can i carry her this time?” Wanda asked sounding almost scared to let you go. As if you may disappear.

“Sure baby. But you’ll need to give her to me before you get into the bath with her.” Nat said and she glanced back at the door where Yelena had disappeared from before getting out from under the sheets.

The process of bathing you was simple enough. The flush had come back to your cheeks as Wanda held you in her lap in the bath while Natasha ran and warm cloth over every inch of your skin slowly warming you up. After they had been satisfied you were warm enough, they towelled you off as you start to come around again. They dressed you in Nat’s warm hoodie and Wanda’s red track pants.

Wanda had you in her arms when the three of you re-entered the kitchen slash lounge room.

Yelena grinned. Having set up a nest of sorts on the floor with a ton of blankets and pillows. Kate had five cups of hot chocolate on the bench and a movie queued up.

You buried your face into Wanda’s chest as the five of you got settled into the nest. Blankets were thrown over the five of you and you settled in for the movie.

Wanda’s dinner was still cooking and right now nobody wanted to leave you by yourself let alone out of their sight.

So, you curled up in your girlfriend’s laps and listened to their hearts beat with the soundtrack of parks and recreation playing in the background.

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gyokujyn · 1 month

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A Softer World Remix Masterpost

For the Captain America: The Winter Soldier 10th Anniversary Event, I may have gone a little overboard remixing A Softer World comics in the style of @asofteravenger. Here is a comprehensive list of every remix I posted, including the rejects which did not make the cut for the original event.

CATWS 10th Anniversary Event Remixes by Day

Key 💜: Personal Favourites ⭐ : Fan Favourites

🔴 March 26th: On Your Left ◽close enough for government work [prompt: PTSD; char: bucky] ◽is this progress? [prompt: first meetings; char: steve, nat, sam] ◽when home is a person SkyMiles won't get you there [prompt: the smithsonian; char: steve, bucky] 💜who the hell is bucky? [prompt: the smithsonian; char: steve, bucky]

🔴 March 27th: Steve Rogers ◽for a treat [prompt: guilt; char: steve, howling commandos] 💜guilt will quench a fire as surely as the thawing winter [prompt: guilt; char: steve, strike team] 💜haha that's a totally normal answer to the question [prompt: fave steve quote; char: sam, steve] ◽it's what they call a catch-22 [prompt: elevator; char: steve, brock, strike team] ◽put it on the list [prompt: Steve's List; char: steve] ◽what could go wrong? [prompt: camp lehigh; char: zola]

🔴 March 28th: SHIELD ◽either way I'll be leaving you bleeding [prompt: weapons; bucky, steve] ◽i'm so sorry [prompt: compromised; char: steve, nick] ◽it is cold. [prompt: fave scene; char: bucky] 💜probably the windows too [prompt: neighbor; char: steve, sharon]

🔴 March 29th: Natasha Romanoff ◽are you? [prompt: fave nat quote; nat, pierce] 💜as soon as he's dead i can be on my way [prompt: natasha romanoff; char: nat, bucky] ◽get loved loser [prompt: disguise; char: nat, steve] ◽now i want cinnabon [prompt: mall; char: steve, strike] ◽who needs good choices anyway? [prompt: redemption; char: nat, steve]

🔴 March 30th: TWS Cast ◽and they were first mates [prompt: tws cast; char: tws cast] ◽do you think we could catch lightning in a bottle twice? [prompt: press conference; char: tws cast] ◽shh he eepy [prompt: stunts; char: tws cast] 💜try a knife flip! [prompt: stunts; char: sebastian stan]

🔴 March 31st: Sam Wilson 💜c'mon sam it was one time [prompt: wings; char: sam, bucky] ◽extra virgin [prompt: fave sam quote; char: sam, rumlow] ◽have you ever known what it's like to feel the exhilaration of really flying [prompt: sam wilson; char: sam] ◽oops sorry maria [prompt: sam wilson; char: sam, maria] ⭐the graveyard of our memories [prompt: Dept of VA; char: sam]; all our mausoleums have eyes [prompt: none (bonus); char: bucky, steve]

🔴 April 1st: HYDRA ◽and in such creative ways [prompt: fave fight; char: bucky] ◽beatings shall continue until morale improves [prompt: project insight; char: none] ◽besides what grave could hold you? [prompt: strike; char: rumlow, steve] ◽how many gunshot wounds is an orgasm? [prompt: fave fight; char: bucky, steve] ◽oh it's supposed to be enemies TO lovers [prompt: fave fight; char: bucky, steve] 💜scream for daddy [prompt: hydra; char: pierce, bucky] ◽tony only watches vanilla het porn pass it on [prompt: project insight; char: tony] 💜what kind of monster leaves the milk out on the counter? [prompt: hydra; char: pierce] ◽you don't have to be the fastest runner you just have to be faster than Project Insight [prompt: fave fight; char: rumlow, sam]

🔴 April 2nd: Bucky Barnes ◽a ghost story [prompt: ghost story; char: bucky, steve] ◽and then you remember [prompt: memories; bucky] ◽baby did you forget to take your meds? [prompt: memories; char: steve, bucky] 💜but spare the rod and spoil the child [prompt: bank; char: bucky, pierce, rumlow] ◽i kicked off bucky's world revenge tour 2k14 and all i got was half-drowned in the potomac [prompt: revenge; char: bucky, steve] ⭐i've always been an overachiever [prompt: revenge; char: steve, bucky] 💜past tense [prompt: "but i knew him"; char: steve, bucky] ◽rlb [prompt: revenge; char: bucky, steve] ◽the unpaid internship of a lifetime [prompt: bucky barnes; char: bucky, zola] ◽what gives a ghost nightmares [prompt: bucky barnes; char: bucky, steve] ◽ya gotov otvechat [prompt: bank; char: bucky]

🔴 April 3rd: Cap Quartet 💜advanced car surfing for dummies [prompt: cap quartet; char: nat, steve, sam, bucky] 💜alexa play jolene [prompt: cap quartet; char: nat, steve, sam, bucky] ◽gotta catch 'em all [prompt: cap quartet; char: bucky, nat, sam, steve] ◽hi i'm captain america [prompt: bedside vigil; char: sam, steve] ◽or a blond carnie with hearing aids and really good aim [prompt: cap quartet; char: steve, nat, sam, bucky] ◽peer pressure [prompt: fave duo; char: nat, steve] ◽some people get both [prompt: found family; char: nat, sam, steve]

🔴 April 4th: To the End of the Line ⭐but you can't seem to convince them of that [prompt: devotion; char: steve, bucky] ◽cause i'm with you til the end of the line pal [prompt: to the end of the line; char: steve, bucky] 💜i stopped remembering the exact weight of your hand and now i only know it with a knife [prompt: 1940s; char: steve, bucky] ⭐or die trying [prompt: reunion; char: bucky, steve] ◽sorry officer we'll remember to use the gag next time [prompt: helicarrier; char: steve, bucky] ◽that'll teach me [prompt: identity porn; char: steve, bucky] ◽the good news it can't be illegal if there's no word for it [prompt: fave stucky scene; char: bucky, steve] ◽the safe word is jersey [prompt: devotion; char: bucky, steve] 💜this is not what getting railed means [prompt: helicarrier; char: bucky] 💜walt disney did not prepare me for this body count [prompt: identity porn; char: steve] ◽we've had too many next times already [prompt: schoolyard to battlefield; char: bucky, steve] ◽yes even that [prompt: helicarrier; char: steve] ◽you either die young or live long enough to become the cautionary tale [prompt: devotion; char: bucky, steve]

CATWS 10th Anniversary | REJECTS!

Key 💜: Personal Favourites ⭐ : Fan Favourites

Run | Series MasterPost featuring: ◽alexa play run this town by jay-z rihanna and kanye west [char: nick] 💜alexa play run by daughter [char: nat] ◽alexa play run (beautiful things)(highsociety remix) by awolnation [char: bucky] ◽alexa play run boy run by woodkid [char: steve] ◽alexa play run by onerepublic [char: sam]

Barbershop Quartet (feat. any two+ except Stucky) | REJECTS! ◽hands off the boots [prompt: natasha romanoff] 💜he's a smooth operator [prompt: none] 💜she's gonna bite someone [prompt: disguise] ◽untitled (working title: all of it goes) [prompt: cap quartet] ◽untitled (working title: do i gotta make more romanorogers?) [prompt: none]

Bucky | REJECTS! ◽and a whole lot of UST [prompt: helicarrier] ◽untitled (working title: are u new) [prompt: bucky barnes] ◽untitled (working title: head injury) [prompt: bucky barnes]

HYDRA (Pierce, Rumlow, Zola, et al. feat. others) | REJECTS! ◽and your very own unicorn [prompt: hydra] ⭐but i knew him [prompt: "but i knew him"] ◽gotta look out for your assigned alphabet soup guy [prompt: project insight] ◽i thought this was america [prompt: none] 💜like parking in a driveway [prompt: elevator] ◽the road to hell is paved with kicking your ass [prompt: none]

Nick (feat. the Barbershop Quartet) | REJECTS! ◽untitled (working title: and AARP!) [prompt: project insight]

Steve | REJECTS! ◽and almost dead is still slightly alive [prompt: steve rogers] 💜glory [prompt: steve rogers, character bleed] ◽it is a disney property [prompt: steve rogers] ◽knock knock mf (working title: this one might send me to hell) [prompt: memories] ◽untitled (working title: elevator) [prompt: elevator] ◽untitled (working title: good work ethic) [prompt: guilt] ⭐untitled (working title: trade off) [prompt: none]

Stucky | REJECTS! 💜alexa play who wants to live forever [prompt: to the end of the line] ◽all our mausoleums have eyes (alt panel) [prompt: none (bonus panel)] ⭐body language [prompt: reunion] ⭐he's a little confused but he's got the spirit [prompt: none] 💜how it makes you a weapon [prompt: none, memories] ⭐just your hand on my body again [prompt: devotion] ◽we call this a midwest goodbye [prompt: fave fight, helicarrier] ◽untitled (working title: terrorist) [prompt: fave fight]

#marvel mcu #catws10 #a softer world #a softer avenger #remix #catws10 rejects #jyn makes stuff

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azoraahai · 4 years

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natasha and gamora not getting the ending they deserved

#userfleur #userariella #userthwip #userlaiba #usersakshi #natasharomanoffedit #gamoraedit #natasha romanoff #gamora #marvel #blood tw #death tw #mine*#gifs*#every time i watch that scene with nat in tws #i always think of her *****#so i made this and i hope it makes sense lol

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rebeccccccaaa · 3 years

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ᴘʀᴀᴄᴛɪᴄᴇ ᴍᴀᴋᴇs ᴘᴇʀғᴇᴄᴛ

_______________________________

ᴘᴇᴛᴇʀ ᴘᴀʀᴋᴇʀ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ (𝟷𝟾+)

ʀᴇǫᴜᴇsᴛᴇᴅ: (ANON) Soft romantic Valentine’s Day sex with Peter, bonus points if it’s their first time.. or maybe their first Valentine’s Day being married 🥺🥺🥺🥺 (since it’s way past v-day, i did like a tony’s gala/charity party thing hope that’s ok)

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: smut 18+, super fluffy and silly smut, virginsssss

Tw: harassment/sexual assault

ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ’s ɴᴏᴛᴇs: hey bug I’m still trying to get used to the whole writer thing it’s still a pretty new concept but thank you for being so patient with me! I tried to make this a realistic when it comes to first time sex as possible, it pretty awkward and goofy, a little sudden, but i think it’s pretty cute

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Peter couldn’t take his eyes off of you. You moved so gracefully between the bodies of rich chatty folk. Now that you both were adults it was mandatory according to Tony that you guys had to attend these things. Peter wished he could go back to when you two would watch Star Wars and play video games up in your room during these boring parties.

“Dude, you gotta just grow a pair and ask her on a date,” Sam interrupted.

“Come on man. It’s not that easy,” he argued.

“Yeah it is; you just go up to her and say, ‘Hey I think you’re hot, I’m in love with you, Let’s fuck’,” Sam joked.

“Hey, no. They’re virgins. They don’t ‘fuck’,” Nat said amusingly.

“What! No- I- uh,” Peter stammered over his words heavily as Nat, Sam, Bucky and Steve laughed around him; not at him of course, well maybe Sam.

“Hey man it’s ok,” Steve reassured.

“Yeah, Steve is still a virgin,” Bucky joked, making Steve push him unamused.

“Seriously though, it’s ok having not done anything. Virginity and purity culture is gross and weird and way too fetishized nowadays. You do it when you feel comfortable and with someone you completely trust; and remember just like everything else, practice makes perfect,” Nat winked at Peter, making him blush.

Peter thought about it and honestly he trusted you the most with his life. It wasn’t a secret that Peter really liked you; well apparently it was a secret to you. He was so in love with you but he was positive you didn’t feel the same way. You were so beautiful there was no way in your right mind that you’d even look in his direction.

You were talking with some douche at the bar. Peter hated how close he was standing to you. He didn’t think he deserved someone as special as you but he certainly knew that someone like that guy didn’t deserve even your attention let alone a conversation. Although looking at it, it seems like you’re just listening and he’s yapping away.

“You’re like one of the hottest bitches I’ve ever met,” the guy slurred.

You’ve been stuck with this guy for the past twenty minutes. Every time you think you could slip away he tugged your arm and pulled you back in. this guy was drunk off his ass and every slurred word went through one ear and out the other.

“I need to use the restroom, excuse me,” you tried to leave.

“That’s not gonna work on me princess, come here,” he grabbed your waist and you moved your hands between your bodies.

“Hey, what the hell?” Peter said, noticing the commotion between you and that guy.

The guys looked over and saw that you were clearly uncomfortable and none of them were having it. Peter especially was fuming. This guy's hands were all over you and he knows you didn’t let him. His face buried uncomfortably in your neck and your face held a fearful look. Peter stomped through the crowd to help you.

“Hey man, get your hands off of her,” Peter said sternly.

“Oh, ho, ho. Cute,” the guy mocked.

“Lay off kid. Help a brother out,” he slurred.

“Peter,” you whispered desperately.

“She doesn’t seem interested, so back off,” Peter pushed him.

“I’m not gonna tell you again, kid. Leave us alone, sometimes women might not say what they want but they always want it,” he growled disgustingly. Peter looked at you and saw nothing but terror and fright; there was no way in hell he was leaving you.

“Hey, man. We’re gonna give you ten seconds to get the fuck out here,” Nat said intimidatingly; but with a man’s misogynistic ego that big he surprisingly didn’t back down.

“Now,” Steve’s voice boomed loudly towering over him.

“What are you gonna about it?” he mocked.

Bucky wasn’t having it either and grabbed his collared-shirt with his metal and dragged him towards the exit.

“If I ever see your ugly ass face again, I’ll kill you,” Bucky’s voice shook the man and he scurried away.

You looked at Peter and hugged him tightly softly crying into his shoulder. He held you tightly and whispered softly in your ear soothing you. You couldn’t get rid of him and you didn’t want to think about what could’ve happened if Peter and the rest of the guys didn’t help you.

“Sorry, for the ruckus,” you whispered, noticing the people watching confusedly at you guys.

“Don’t be, guy was a total piece of shit. Are you ok?”

“Can we just leave?” you asked him.

“Of course,” Peter held your hand tightly and led towards the elevator.

“Hey kids, you guys ok? Steve told me what happened,” Tony asked you two.

“We’re gonna go upstairs now,” Peter told him quietly.

“Of course,” Tony said remorsefully.

“Kid?” Tony whispered to Peter, “Use protection.”

“Seriously, Mr. Stark?”

“Hey, I’m kidding. I’m kidding; take care of her will ya?”

“Your room or mine?” Peter asked you.

“Yours.”

“Can we watch a movie or something?”

“Yeah.”

Peter gave you his clothes for you to change comfortably in and you went to the bathroom to change. In the meantime Peter too changed into a tight black shirt and sweats. Suddenly he heard the door open slightly and you peeked your head out worriedly.

“Uh Pete,” you called him.

“Is everything alright?”

“The uh, the pants you gave me? They don’t fit,” you whispered shyly.

“Oh no, uh ok hold on,” Peter scurried to find another pair.

You opened the door wider tugging his shirt in holes it might cover your modesty; this was the most undressed you’ve ever been in front of a boy. Peter looked back at you frantically but definitely did a double take seeing your bare legs so exposed.

“Sorry, I can’t seem to find anything,” he stuttered a bit.

“It’s ok, the shirt’s pretty long,” you tiptoed to the bed covering yourself with the blanket.

“Sorry about you know,” he sat with you.

“It’s ok. I just kinda wish I was more like Nat. You know then maybe I wouldn’t have been in that situation, I’d be able to kick his butt,” you chuckled. But Peter didn’t.

“Hey, you weren’t in that situation because you weren’t physically strong, it was because that guy was the scum of the earth.”

“Thanks, Pete,” you placed your hand on top of his; Peter’s stomach flipped when you did.

“Peter?” you asked him.

“What?”

“You’re staring,” you smiled.

“Sorry,” he looked away shyly.

You and Peter sat on the bed as a movie played. It was one of your favorites and you couldn’t help marvel at the best scenes; your laugh was infectious. Peter couldn’t help but ogle at you. He thought you were so beautiful and funny. He wonders why you’ve never had a boyfriend. Any guy would be so lucky to be yours; expect that fucker who put his hands on you

“Y/n?” he asked sheepishly.

“Yeah?”

“Why don’t you have a boyfriend? If you don’t want to answer it’s ok, I realize that probably sounds invasive, and-”

“It’s ok. I uh- I don’t know. I guess guys don’t like me like that? What about you, you haven’t dated since MJ.”

“I- uh, ok uh- Ok you got me there,” he laughed.

“It’s just I asked because you’re uh, well, it’s no secret you’re very pretty, Y/n. Any guy would be so lucky to be your boyfriend,” Peter blushed.

“Thanks, Peter. I don’t know, guys are just too,” you couldn’t necessarily find the words.

“Obnoxious, irritating, rude, aggressive,” he finished making you laugh.

“No, well, yes, but I guess the word would be… overbearing. Guys are so pretentious, you know. And not to mention they want everything but the kitchen sink in a girl. And I don’t have that. Guys don’t look at me and think, ‘Wow, she's the most beautiful girl ever. I want to date her’,” you explained with a faint chuckle.

“I think that,” Peter blurted out.

“Well, then I wish more guys were like you, Peter,” you said smoothly.

You and Peter both hadn’t realized the space between you two closing in. Your faces were mere inches apart and you both felt hot and flushed, yet neither one of your wanted to pull away. The sound of the movie playing in the background was drowned out for a second but now it was almost as if it was the loudest thing bursting your eardrums.

You quickly snapped your head back to the TV breathing out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. You could see the disappointment on Peter’s face when you did out of the corner of your eye but you didn’t think it was appropriate right now. Besides, the last thing you wanted to do was kiss a boy after what happened downstairs.

You crawled back and tucked the rest of your body under the sheets and Peter did too. You felt like your heart was going to burst out of your chest; terrified that with his heightened senses he could hear your heartbeat.

He could; and that made his beat faster too.

You two watched the movie in silence after getting yourselves comfortable. Peter’s lights were off and a small lamp along with the bright TV was the only thing illuminating the room. It felt small but you managed.

You felt like you couldn’t focus on the movie with Peter laying so close to you. You could practically feel his body heat radiating off of him and you wished so badly that you had the courage to tell him how much you liked him.

You didn’t think he liked you back but after what he said about wanting to date you, you weren’t so doubtful that he felt that way too now. You finally started focusing on the movie again trying your best to not think about Peter but that didn’t help at all considering the two characters … kissing, if that’s what you want to call it.

Your eyes slightly widen seeing the man’s hand crawl up the woman’s shirt. Her gasps and moans seemed louder than you remembered. You could see Peter shifted beside you as the things on the screen became more and more heated.

“I forgot about this scene,” you cringed at yourself.

“It’s ok, you uh, do you want to watch a different movie?”

“Sure,” you squeaked.

Peter put a new movie on but neither of you could get the images out of your heads. Without the other knowing, you both wondered what it would be like, feel like if Peter’s hands roamed your body that way. Bringing goosebumps to your skin. The way your soft gasps and moans would sound against the shell of Peter’s ear.

You couldn’t help the wetness pooling between your thighs wondering what Peter would do first. You wondered if he’d ever been with another girl and if he did, well that didn’t sit right with you. You swallowed and unbeknownst to you Peter could sense everything.

He knew how much your breathing quickened after. He could feel the rapid beating of your heartbeat after watching only seconds of that scene. He could smell the sweet arousal coming out of you as you softly clenched your thighs in a desperate attempt to stop the feeling.

He shifted beside you embarrassed that he was thinking about these things with you. You would hate him if you found out. But you would really?

“Peter?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask you something? Promise you won’t get mad?” Oh no. You were really doing this?

“I could never get mad at you,” he said sincerely.

“Have you ever, you know, done it?” you asked shyly.

“Oh, uh no actually. MJ and I never really talked about that and we broke up before really anything happened.”

“Oh, cool.”

There was awkward silence between you two not really knowing what was to come next. You wanted him, bad. You just got this urge suddenly to feel him, know what he sounded like. You felt a bit embarrassed and thought there was no way he was gonna want to do anything like that with you.

“Do you wanna…?” Or maybe so.

“Only if you want to.”

“Is that bad that I kinda do? Look,” Peter faced you more comfortably and closer, “I really like you. Like a lot. I know I probably shouldn’t and it’s like super inappropriate right now but I can’t help it. You’re like the most beautiful and most perfect girl I’ve ever met. And I really want to show you but I’d never do anything to hurt you or make you uncomfortable.”

“Peter, I really like you too. There’s no one I trust more than you, seriously,” you sat on your knees facing him too. You smiled at each other warmly and you started to feel warmer than before.

“Can I kiss you?” Peter whispered.

“Please.”

Peter inches closer to you and gently cupped your jaw pulling you in to kiss you. Your eyes fluttered close and butterflies erupted in your stomach. You moved your knee to move closer to him unfortunately directly on top of the remote.

The volume turned up and startled you both, the laughter and music from the cartoon on the TV echoing in the room. You pulled back sharply, accidentally biting Peter’s lip but he didn’t seem to care all that much as he grabbed the remote and turned the TV off.

“I’m so sorry! I think I bit your lip,” you panicked and cringed.

“It’s ok, it’s ok,” he laughed; his laugh was so charming and contagious you could help but giggle too.

“I’m sorry,” you repeated.

“Don’t be, it was an accident,” he chuckled.

“Now where were we,” he smirked and leaned in to kiss you again.

Your hands went through his hair and you sighed contently as his lips moved perfectly against. You kissed people before but they’ve never felt this amazing. Peter’s tongue pushed past your lips and you gladly let him in. You melted against him and he placed his hand on your back and pushed back slowly to lay your back against the bed.

That didn’t work out because you weren’t really in a good position to lay down without moving so you tumbled to the floor making Peter gasp.

“Are you ok?” he laughed.

You head shot up from the ground with a big dopey smile on your face. You crawled back up to bed laughing.

“I’m ok, just took me by surprise,” you giggled.

“Sorry, the mood’s totally ruined now I guess,” he smiled sadly.

“Well, I still wouldn’t mind if we tried one more time,” you said timidly.

“Yeah?” you nodded.

“Ok, uh can I uh, is this ok?” Peter had you straddling his lap and your stomach fluttered with anticipation and arousal.

“More than.”

Peter leaned up and kissed you again, his fingertips sneaking up your shirt and grazing the soft skin of your belly. Your body shudders but you wanted more. You wanted him to make you squirm and wiggle.

Peter tugged on the hem of the shirt silently asking if he could remove it. You hesitated but eventually lifted your arms up to let him undress you. Your skin was bare in front of him and this was the first you’d ever been shirtless in front of anyone.

Your arms instinctively covered your chest in modesty but Peter grabbed your hands and smiled softly letting you know that there was nothing to hide. You swallowed hard. Nervous about the current situation. You weren’t scared, you were far from it, but it seemed no matter how many times you imagined this, how many times you went over in your head what you would do, you still felt unprepared and clueless about what to do.

“Do you want to stop?” Peter whispered.

“No, I just don’t know what to do,” you giggled.

“I uh, I can kiss you again,” he suggested, making you nod your head.

Peter captured your lips in a kiss once again, he felt like he could stay like this in your arms and you in his forever. He lifted his own shirt and you were taken by surprise considering you’ve never actually since completely shirtless. There were times when his shirt would rise with his hoodie being taken off but never fully off and it’s all of its muscle glory.

“Peter,” you breathed out.

“Yeah?” he smirked.

You rubbed your gentle hands faintly across his torso and chest marveling at his physique.

“I didn’t realize how uh, fit, you are,” you gasped.

“It kinda came with the bite, and training of course,” he grinned.

“I mean look at you; you are even more beautiful than I imagined,” he said.

He leaned forward and kissed along your chest, his hands roaming over your skin. Your breathing became heavy and your hands rested awkwardly on Peter’s shoulders.

“Relax, princess. I got you. I promise I’m gonna take really good care of you,” he laid you down again, sideways his time so you wouldn’t fall off the bed again.

He kissed you again before trailing his lips down your throat. You bit your lip smiling basking in the feeling of Peter’s lips against your burning skin.

“Peter, please. I need more,” you whined.

“Like…?” he trailed.

“I’m ready. For you,” you whispered against his lips.

Peter groaned and crawled over you eagerly and opened the drawer grabbing a condom. His torso was directly over your head and you took that opportunity to treat him the same way pressing kisses to his torso.

“Baby,” he snickered.

“What, you don’t like my kisses?” you smiled.

“I love your kisses,” he smirked.

You watched him stand up and slowly pulled his sweats and boxers down. He kept his eyes trained on you making sure he wasn’t gonna scare you or anything. He saw your face fill with fear, confusion, shock; it didn’t matter so he pulled his pants quickly back up.

“Wait,” you shouted.

“What happened?” you were confused. You thought things were going well, you were excited and aroused when Peter pulled his pants down. The sight of his impressive member surprising you and making you wetter.

“I thought you were uncomfortable,” Peter panicked.

“No! Please Peter! I want to have sex with you so bad!” you shouted dramatically making him laugh.

“Please take your pants off again,” you crawled up to him and grabbed his neck pulling him close.

“As you wish, baby,” he kissed you and quickly wiggled out of his pants. You took the condom in your hand and carefully tore the foil. You pulled the ring of latex out unsure of what to do next. Peter gently tilted your head up and kissed you softly before taking the condom from your hands.

“I got this, you just get ready and sit pretty for me,” his words made you shudder. You quickly sat back and practically tore off your panties, tossing them across the room. You could see the light in Peter’s eyes started to fade and you could tell he was getting nervous.

“Hey, having second thoughts?” you asked softly.

“No, it’s just, I don't really know what I’m doing either,” he stammered.

“Well, I don’t really have anyone to compare, so,” you reassured him.

“I just don’t wanna ruin anything. What if I'm not good?” he said.

“Well, practice makes perfect. So let’s start practicing!” you cheered.

Peter bit his lip and pumped his aching cock a few times. You settled back and opened your legs a bit and Peter settled himself in. His hands trembled as he grabbed his dick and lined it up to your entrance and your breathing quickened.

He slid past your folds quite rapidly and you grunted. Peter noticed the discomfort and his hips pulled back too far causing his member to slip out. You giggled but Peter grunted.

“It’s ok, it’s ok,” you pulled him close and kissed his nose.

“Don’t freak out, baby,” you nuzzled your nose against his.

Peter kissed you softly, “You’re too good to me.”

Peter tried again and slowly passed your slicks folds. You moaned softly feeling his girth and Peter’s eyes screwed shut. He dipped his head in the crook of your neck and nibbled on the skin of your ear. You wrapped your legs around his hips pulling closer and Peter grunted.

“Fuck, Y/n. You feel so good,” he moaned.

“Peter,” you moaned.

Peter hips snapped into you rapidly and your moans got louder. His hand reached for yours and intertwined his fingers with yours. He kissed you again before his body trembled over yours. His hips suddenly stopped and he fell forward.

“Pete?” you whispered.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to. You felt so good I couldn’t hold back,” Peter whined.

“It’s ok,” you giggled.

“No it’s not,” he grumbled.

“It’s fine Pete, it was our first time. Don’t sweat it,” you smiled.

“No, sit back, princess. I promised I was gonna take care of you and I fully. Intend. On keeping that promise,” he kissed you in between words.

You fell back and Peter trailed kisses down your front. His hands rubbed your thighs softly pressing faint kisses to the inside of them. Peter looked admirably between your thighs. He licked his lips and looked up at you almost innocently making your stomach flip at the sight.

“Fuck,” Peter whispered before licking up your slit.

“Peter,” you gasped.

He flicked his tongue over your clit and your hips jolted forward. You wiggled and moved under him gasping and whimpering his name. Peter used his strength and pressed your hips down hard as he continued to eat you out.

Your hands flew to his hair tugging and pulling his fluffy curly hair. Your chest moved up and down hastily and sweat lined your forehead. You sat on your elbows and looked down to Peter who’s eyes were closed and his face immensely flushed, cheeks redden.

His eyes opened and stared directly into your eyes. He came up for a second and smiled cheekily before dipping his tongue passed your entrance once again. The pressure in the pit of your stomach built up and up and up, until finally it snapped and your body arched in pleasure.

You moaned and shrieked Peter’s name feeling ecstatic, overwhelmed with absolute pleasure.

“Feeling good?” Peter got up wiping your cum off his chin.

“Oh my goodness, Pete. You gotta do that again!” he laughed before kissing you.

“How was that?”

“Better than I imagined,” you cupped his face.

“I lo-” Peter stopped himself.

“I love you,” you whispered, finishing his sentence.

“Good, because I love you too, so much,” he kissed you. Peter tucked you in his bed and crawled beside you holding you close.

“Pete?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you,” you kissed his jaw.

“For what?”

“For the best night ever,” you ggiled.

“Anytime. Like you said, practice makes perfect.”

“Oh, yeah. I cannot wait until we practice again.”

===============

ᴛᴀɢʟɪsᴛ: (For all my work)

@mathletemadison

@buckybarnes101

#aged!up peter parker #peter parker #peter parker smut #peter parker oneshot #first time #tom holland smut #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker x y/n

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guardianspirits13 · 3 years

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I wanna talk about Natsuo Todoroki for a second here.

tw// mentions of abuse, self harm, and suicide

Natsuo visibly has the most emotional trauma out of anyone else in his family (Touya not included), and I really wanna talk about why that is.

For starters, we haven't seen him really smile since he was introduced in chapter 187. He's introduced as having a friendly, easygoing persona and it's easy to imagine this is how most people outside of his family know him. However, every time we see him appear since then, another layer of his trauma is revealed and expanded upon, and it cuts DEEP.

I think the main reason that Natsuo still seems so vulnerable compared to the rest of his family is different than what you'd assume. Fuyumi and Shouto both spend a lot of time around Endeavor, and have been in close proximity to his (relatively recent) decision to atone. They have seen his growth firsthand and come to terms with it. Rei has obviously taken a very different path to healing- not entirely voluntarily- but she has been working with doctors and therapists for years to change and recover and reconnect with herself and her children. Natsuo is off at college, and takes every opportunity he can to avoid Endeavor. He (understandably) wants nothing to do with him, and shows stagnant resistance to his attempts to atone.

The reason why Natsuo can't move on from the past is because his trauma didn't come from Endeavor. It came from Touya.

Now initially we were led to believe that it was simply Touya's untimely death that still bothers Natsuo, and it makes sense seeing how Endeavor drove him to the edge. Losing his best friend and brother as a young kid without parents to support him or any therapist to speak of can absolutely been the source of persistent emotional damage, but the more and more we learn about Touya's situation, the more evident it becomes that Natsuo's trauma is much much deeper than even grief.

Touya, as we know, was driven by an ambition instilled in him by his father and experienced extreme rejection sensitivity when those ambitions were no longer realistic. Touya's relationship with his parents could be described as insecure attachment, a psychological term primarily regarding how kids react and respond to their parents and other close relationships. As he was raised, Touya learned to equate his potential to be a hero with his personal worth and similarly confounded attention with love. The difference being, of course, that love is unconditional, but even attention was being continually directed away from him as a punishment for continuing to train and burn himself so he could once again become worthy in his fathers' eyes.

This is where Natsuo comes in. At first it was assumed that all of the Todoroki children were born out of Endeavor's strong-willed desire to have a child that could surpass All Might, but we learned that this isn't exactly the case. I'd argue that it was narratively poetic on Horikoshi's part once this was expanded upon. Fuyumi was born to support and encourage her brother, and that is the exact role she plays 23 years later, keeping her family together.

Natsuo's case is even more intersting.

It was bad enough if Natsuo was only born for the potential of his quirk, but it's even more sinister that the sole intent behind his birth was to discourage Touya from his ambitions. I'd say it was to replace him, but it was more to promote the idea that Touya was expendable than to raise aonther kid with the same ideals but the potential to actually achieve it, although that was definitely a secondary motivation.

The parallelism in this is how much Natsuo's life revolves around Touya. He was born because of Touya, he looked up to and took care of Touya as a kid, and the absence of Touya in the present continues to drive him and his decisions in life (but more on that later).

I continue to pray that we will eventually get more solid backstory on Natsuo and Touya's relationship as kids and where it cut off, wether on a bad note or not, but there are a few things we know for certain. One, Touya was mentally ill. Yes, he was rejected by his parents but he seems to have been particularly vulnerable to this compared to any of his siblings since he was the first of them and thus relied only on his parents for validation in his early years. He shows early signs of a variety of different mental disorders, particularly BPD, which I have previously written a whole analysis for on its own. Touya is shown self-harming both by the very nature of his quirk and even by very directly ripping his hair out. He was incredibly self-destructive.

This is why it is so much more concerning to me that Natsuo, who was AT LEAST four years younger than him, was his primary source of comfort. Natsuo was too young to have known anything more than 'my big brother is sad that daddy won't train him anymore' and he obviously wasn't equipped in any way to handle Touya's severe mental illness. Touya most definitely needed professional treaatment as his forms of coping were abnormal even for the neglect and rejection that he experienced. Natsuo comforted Touya through breakdown after breakdown, and more than that Touya relied on him and came to him voluntarily for support. Natsuo was the best option he had, and he took full advantage of that. The main source of Natsuo's trauma was Touya's reliance on him.

Not to say at all that this was in any way Touya's fault- he was mentally ill and desperately in need of some form of comfort to keep him sane; it was almost a survival method at this point since neither of his parents really acknowleged him at all anymore. Touya's instability hurt Natsuo more than parental neglect ever did, but it was the neglect that enabled it and striped Touya of the supportive atmosphere he would have needed at this point not only to prevent but to heal from the mental damage he had already suffered.

Natsuo dealt with this for years and you can see how much it hurt him to see Touya in so much pain, not only from Endeavor's rejection but from his own self harm as well. For Natuso to know that his brotherly love would never be the same as having loving parents; would neve be enough- but at least it was something so he continued to love and care about his brother for little in return- is indicative of the kind of character he is.

(Edit: After the events of chapter 302 we know that Natsuo's relationship with Touya wasn't perfect. I will elaborate more on this in a different post, but I just wanted to clarify that although we were shown a very high-tension scene between them, it is implied that this was a regular occurrence that Natsuo was usually more receptive too but tired out of, in addition to Touya's spiraling mental health. It fit with the natrative to show the tension Touya was feeling with his family from all directions, but Natsu and Touya clearly had a stronger relationship up to and before this point, evidenced by their sharing a room and playing together regularly.)

He is incredibly selfless, and it's interesting to note how many of his positive qualities as an adult stem from negative experiences as a kid. He never really felt love from his parents, so he relied on Touya (and likely also Fuyumi) for that as well. If he grew up learning he had to give love in order to recieve it back, it absolutely influenced who he became in the future, a solid example of this being the responsibility he feels to reach out and have a relationship with Shouto and further regrets that he wasn't able to help his abuse in the past either. Another aspect of his character that intruigues me is how gentle he is. Personality-wise he seems about as opposite as he could be from the awkward, stoic, emotionally-stunted person that is Endeavor.

There are a couple of reasons for this, beyond what I've already discussed.

One, he had little to no contact with elements of toxic masculinity growing up, especially not from Endeavor.

Two, most of the influence he did have growing up was from Fuyumi, who is established to have endlessly cared for him since he was a literal baby.

Three, he grew up in a household where almost everyone around him was in much more literal, immediate pain than he was so he developed a very strong sense of empathy that might also have been tied to early survivor's guilt.

Now I have one important distinction to make, and that's the temptation to label him as a 'softboy' or something of the like after seeing him caring for his family and more pointedly, watching him break down in tears during chapter 252. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with men being soft or vulnerable (on the contrary it's actually so so important and relevant that Hori is writing characters like this in a mainstream shounen manga but that's an essay for another time), it is unfair to label him as such based on a moment when his trauma is being exposed.

Because his truama stems from such a young age, there is a blurry line between just being born with more emotional intelligence and the situation he was in fostering those traits. You know, the classic nature/nurture thing. My point being, it's important to tread carefully when discussing the nature of his personality to avoid invalidating his trauma; I have no doubt that he is very strong for having survived these things, and the moments we see of him onscreen are definitely among his most vulnerable.

Another thing that people less familiar with Natsuo's character might assume is that he is hot-headed and argumentative. I thought that at first too- after all, he doesn't seem to shy away from yelling at Endeavor when given the opportunity. However, this doesn't seem to be the case at all.

The first real scene we see him in with Endeavor, the man walks into the room and Natsuo decides he can't handle it and goes to leave. However, Endeavor happens to be blocking the doorway. Endeavor physically stops him and provokes him to his face, asking him to say whatever is on him mind. While Natsuo is notably not confrontational, Endeavor is. I think it's fair to say that he felt at least uneasy at this gesture. Natsuo is very honest with his feelings, and it's obvious that he's pissed at the audacity of Endeavor to be so oblivious to his own son. This is presumably one of the first real interactions they've ever really had, and at this point Natsuo has been dealing with trauma (caused by Endeavor!) on his own for years, and Endeavor seems completely oblivious to his pain and dismmisive to the rest of the family's as well.

Again during the internship arc Natsuo tries to get along with Endeavor and this time he actually gives it a fleeting chance. Tensions are high, however, and the conversation very quickly becomes uncomfortable, at which point he leaves. It is continually implied that Natsuo is uncomfortable being around Endeavor because his very presence brings up painful thoughts and memories of a time when sharing the same space as him was a warning to run and hide. This is later directly confirmed by Natsuo as he says that every time he looks at Endeavor's face he remembers Touya and the pain he was in.

I feel like an important side note is that we have never seen Natsuo outside the context of his family, which is understandable, as the role he plays in the story directly relates to them. However, if you take a look at Shouto, even though his experiences have shaped him to become who he is, he definitely acts differently when Endeavor's not in the vicinity.

Back to Touya's death, it would be very rare that someone would mourn a death for an entire decade without finding closure unless there are other factors preventing it, and uncomfortably this seems to be the same thing for both Natsuo and Endeavor: guilt.

This is getting incredibly long already, but it's important to note that Natsuo probably felt an incredible responsibility to take care of Touya and protect him because of his empathetic nature. His love was never going to be the same as having loving parents. His encouragement was never going to be the same as having support from Endeavor. Even further than then neglect and abandonement, it was not being able to save Touya that really made Natsuo feel worthless.

He seems to try and remedy this inability to save Touya and diminish his guilt by doing everything he can to be better. He reaches out to Shouto to be a better brother, he consistently pushes his limits to entertain Fuyumi's notion of a happy family, and he's working hard towards a degree rhat will allow him to help people like Touya (and Rei) because he failed to do so in the past.

His bio mildly implies that he didn't have much of a direction he was heading in after high school, but Fuyumi's encouragement led him to seek out his current college career. This goes back to Natsuo's 'purpose' in a sense revolving arount Touya, from his birth to his relationship with him to his death, after which he lost his direction. They were always rather inseperable, so naturally their seperation hit Natsuo hard. He lost his direction in life so when Fuyumi encouraged him to rediscover it, he thought of helping people, because that's ultimately what he was born to do.

Thank you so, so much for reading this if you made it to the end! I clearly have a lot of thoughts on this. Let me know what you think about it as well, and hopefully we'll get more info on this soon in the manga :)

#bnha 203 #bnha spoilers #long post #natsuo todoroki #todoroki natsuo #bnha meta #mymeta #todoroki touya

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turtle-steverogers · 4 years

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Steve Rogers’ DC Apartment

OOK so I watched TWS again today and every time I watch it I get intrigued about Steve’s apartment

First OFF this is the concept art for his apartment:

We see posters lining the walls and scattered on the floor, most some variant of Army decor, a rather old fashioned looking fireplace, a brown leather couch with a light wooden coffee table in front of it, a record player in the corner with vinyls strewn on the floor next to it. Everything is simultaneously neat and in place and not entirely unpacked/strewn.

It sort of gives me the impression that he tried to move in completely, but just,,,didn’t

The concept art below holds the same atmosphere of neat, but lived in with more views of posters half hung or left unattended on the floor

Highlights from the above picture:

-the jacket hanging off the chair

-his shield placed haphazardly against the wall

-mail tossed onto his kitchen counter

-pencil and paper left forgotten next to the mail

-Art of War on kitchen table

-Apple computer

-Keys and files carelessly placed on the table

I can picture Steve getting up in the mornings, strolling to his kitchen and grabbing a book along the way, then putting a pot of coffee on and popping some toast in the toaster before parking himself at his kitchen table to do some work

Also, everywhere you look in the apartment, there are books. Like Jesus, just when you think you saw the last of the stacks, there’s another stack somewhere and when you look at this scene in the actual movie, you get a pretty decent assortment of books that all seem fairly on brand for our knowledge of Steve:

In this shot especially, you notice a lot of titles: The Second World War, Madam President, etc. It seems that Steve mostly has political biographies, war encyclopedias, and history anthologies. I bet this is the genre that Steve enjoys most, but every single stack of books can’t all have the same content, so just how much is he reading? What else does he have?

Is he going to old bookstores on weekends, thrifting copies of whatever he can find? Does he spend hours in the shelves, pulling out stacks of whatever catches his eye? Does he recognize a title that maybe Nat or Bruce had suggested and purchase it for the hell of it? Did he take the time to comb through the bestseller lists from each year he was in the ice and decide to use that as a basis to catch up?

Whatever the case may be, Steve is a Hefty Reader.

OK Let’S DELVE deeper in to his actual apartment in the movie

IN the above shot, we see more of those aforementioned book stacks from the concept photos, as well as quite a few unhung frames of artwork. The artwork in particular intrigues me, because Steve himself is an artist, so what kind of art has he chosen for his apartment? Is any of it his own? Like the books, where is he getting the art? Is he going to galleries on weekends as well? Does he support local artists or big names? Are some of them photographs? If so, what of?

And below we can see some more of content he chose to frame, which I couldn’t exactly decipher, but these look a little more like photographs and so far, they seem to be the only ones hung out of the many that he clearly owns. What differentiated these enough for him to choose to hang them? Many thoughts head full

Also his dishes: he clearly doesn’t have a Ton of them, but I suppose, why would he need full sets? It looks like he got the essentials, but again, did he choose what kinds of silver/dishware he wanted? Or was it SHIELD provided?

I always chuckle a little here, because the dishware is so oddly placed-- some of the glasses are upside now, some are right side up and stacked in each other, some of the bowls are stacked, some stand alone. He’s incredibly inconsistent with his organization, but ya know, whatever. You do you, Stevie. It definitely gives the apartment a “I’m 29 and living alone so I do what works well enough” vibe

IN this shot, you can see the vinyls from the concept photos on the floor. Which at least I’m certain Steve picked out entirely himself and now I’m emo thinking about him going to an old record store some time on his own and getting lost in the rows and rows of old vinyls and picking out his favorites and some of Bucky’s favorites, then purchasing a familiar looking record player the first familiar thing in a while and bringing it back to his apartment. I’m just imagining him getting home and deftly slipping a vinyl onto the record player and instantly feeling like he’s simultaneously in 1936 and 2014 all at once, like if he turns around, the skyline will suddenly be what he remembers from before the ice and Bucky will be in the room over, humming along to Glenn Miller

Okay okay so here you can see his record player yah yah AND a radio (with cassettes underneath if you look closely), which definitely was another attempt to make his apartment feel like it used to. At this point, I realized that I didn’t see a TV anywhere, which doesn’t surprise me. He had to go inherently modern in some aspects of his living style, but things he could avoid, I’m sure he did.

Anyway, yah, overall Steve’s apartment gives me the vibe that he was sort of trying to make his place look as close to what he knows from his past as possible. Which, honestly fair.

This was just self indulgent. It's always fun seeing these little humanizing parts of characters-- little slices of life.

#Steve Rogers #captain america #ca:tws #steve rogers' apartment #marvel #marvel shit #steve rogers meta #marvel meta

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help-i-need-a-cool-username · 3 years

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Watching Avengers 1 hits so differently now (its 2021). The biggest for me is that the Thor and Loki interactions are so much heavier and mean so much more now that we know (from Thor 3, Loki tv series, etc) how much they care(d) about each other at this time. But also the Black Widow movie gives meaning to the interrogation between Nat and Loki and Clint's "do you know what its like to have someone pull you out of your own head?". And "theres no crevice you can hide" mixed with the first two episodes of the Loki series makes you rethink Loki's motivations and desires. Steve goes rogue twice in this movie and i didnt even notice it before, and both times the reasons are seen again when he goes rogue in TWS and later in Civil War. Someone mentioned that the arc reactor is basically a artificial infinity stone and thats all i could think about during the building power up and every time he touched it. The battle took place in Midtown where Peter goes to school. Theres one scene where it seems like Fury has given up on Carol making it to the party

#just AHHHHHHHH #hinacu mcu #avengers #the avengers #what Loki says on that rock still makes no sense to me lol #loki laufeyson #thor odinson #natasha romanoff #clint barton #nick fury #steve rogers #tony stark #carol danvers #peter parker

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ssa-steverogers · 3 years

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black widow reviewish? but it’s just my thoughts™️

i just watched black widow thursday night and i am shook. i'm going to do two separate reviews; one WITHOUT spoilers and another WITH spoilers. the one without spoilers will be here and the one with spoilers will be beneath it.

SPOILER FREE REVIEW:

here are some stuff i guarantee to you:

you will miss nat

other than that? it was really good. i think it'll be in my top 5 marvel movies. obviously, it takes place before she dies lol and she deals with her past. it was funny, action packed, and the COMPLETE opposite of boring. literally the shortest 2 hours of my whole entire life. there was no scene where i was like 'damn this is taking a long time', like i said, ZERO BORING PARTS.

i would so recommend this movie, although, for people who haven't really watched the mcu or care for it might not enjoy it as much as they should but this movie really connects into the mcu timeline. we learn so much about her past and things are starting to make sense again. black widow definitely answered a lot of questions about her past which made me feel so happy because nat has been treated as a 'sidekick' for so long and to see her finally have a black widow centered movie? wow.

also, yelena????? (aka florence pugh's character) i am in love with her. i love her so much. i hope you will too because she's really funny and relatable.

also, keep in mind that this movie is supposed to explain natasha's past because i feel like a lot of reviews that criticize the movie are forgetting that

damn, well all that is left to say is that i cried and that i hope you love the movie <3

•

REVIEW WITH SPOILERS BELOW:

omfg guys this movie shook me. i cried multiple times. i have so many things to say!!!!1!1!

first off, critics that are saying that the whole idea of a villain in this movie is weak. i somewhat agree??? taskmaster seemed to be a lot less important than portrayed in the trailers. then again, this movie wasn't supposed to focus on hero vs. villain i think? like it literally takes place after civil war because marvel needed to have a redo on their misogynistic take of nat. but also this movie is to show us her past. if anything, the movie was hero vs. their past. taskmaster was there just because but was not the main villain.

it's cool if you disagree with me because i haven't read the comics and whatnot. i do wish that they used taskmaster better but the movie obviously had a purpose to focus on (nat and her family/backstory) so too much could've just been a distraction.

also thought it was cool that taskmaster could copy the fighting style of everyone. as i was watching it i was like 'oh, wakanda forever! captain america shield throw! black widow pose! winter soldier knife throw!"

anywhooooo, i cried the most when yelena was at the table with the fam fam and they were hurting her feelings without even realizing it. and then when she was like 'the best years of my life was fake and you didn't even tell me' i was so gone. i was dead. i really understood her in that moment and i wanted to hug her so bad omfg.

also????? i just want to know... did they teach the girls how to braid their hair in the red room? was there a class for that? everyone's hair was so fucking good lol

parts of the ending also gave me super captain america: the winter soldier vibes. like when nat lets taskmaster out from the room and she's like ya know don't fight me pls it's like steve with buck in tws. and the fight being the sky just reminded me of the helicarriers from tws. but then again, steve and nat were cool buddies so it's not weird that they became similar.

FIGHT SCENES. oh my god, action packed amazeballs. like i wasn't even expecting that. mcu has great action/fight scenes but in black widow? DAMN. what specifically amazed me in this movie is that in the past, they've downplayed the aggressiveness of fighting. but they didn't hold back for black widow. every punch, kick, and throw emitted so much power and rage, which is exactly what you'd expect coming from a bunch of russian spies. i loved that aspect so much.

THE CREDIT SCENE OH GOD. throughout the 2 hour long movie, i fell in love with yelena and i'm not even kidding. i love her so much. i just want to hug her (as stated before lol). to see her there at nat's headstone. i started crying then fricken valentina showed up. i was shocked while at the same time i was fricken like jesus then could've been a sad and touching moment for yelena. i also wonder if they meant for valentina to be introduced in black widow first or tfatws first? like which one was the original original idea? because of the bonk bonk release dates. i seriously want to know.

more onto the credit scene, the time in between yelena whistling and what SHOULD’VE been nat whistling back? longest like 5 seconds of my life. the silence was deafening. i fucking cried.

black widow is fucking great but i still wish we got to have her funeral :(

omfg i can hardly think of anything else, i am just so overwhelmed by how good that movie was. i'm going to miss natasha so much but at the same time i'm so happy that we are SO definitely going to get more of florence pugh as yelena. and yelena is such perfection i love her :) anyways, when it comes out on disney+ for free i will rewatch it a million more times :)

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donutloverxo · 4 years

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White horse

Authors note- title is inspired by the song by taylor swift. happy reading💕

here’s part two

Please do not steal or repost my content. Reblogs are welcome.

Summary- It takes you almost dying for you to confess your love to Steve

Tw: life threatening situations, guns

masterlist

Steve Rogers was perfect. There was literally nothing wrong with him. He was unlike anyone you had ever met. He opened doors for you, he was respectful, and just so gosh darn cute! When he'd scratch his neck, a blush creeping up whenever you put your hand on his thigh or said handsome he was.

He was unlike anyone you had ever met or dated. Although the bar for that is pretty low. He was supportive of your career. Often encouraging you to make decisions that scare you. He took care of you without making you feel small. He was an amazing listener who didn't mind listening to your rambles or rants at all.

He reminded you of a golden retriever. Mostly because of the golden hair and how he'd pout and make puppy eyes whenever something didn't go his way. Also because he was fiercly loyal, attentive and fun to be around.

Sure he had his flaws. Like how he absolutely did not think before acting or how reckless and stubborn he was. Or how he always has to have things a certain way. You can't keep the wet towel on the sofa or it will get wet. Or how you can't wear your shoes inside his apartment.

But you didn't mind these flaws one bit. You barely even considered them flaws, he was absolutely flawless and amazing in your eyes. You loved him with all your heart and being. But then... why couldn't you say it?

"Wait so... he's a wolf?", steve asked turning from the screen and looking at you. You both had been cuddling and watching the twilight series to cross it off his list. You thought this kind of movie wouldn't be his cup of tea but you were surprised to see him so absorbed in it.

"Yeah he's a werewolf. A human who can turn into a wolf on command. They're not real though"

"You never know. I didn't think aliens were real but then.." You were interrupted by your timer going off.

You quickly got up and put on your oven mitts to remove your lasagna from the oven. Steve followed behind you.

"What's this?"

"Oh I figured I'd cook some lasagna for you. You said you really liked it remember?", you replied putting the lasagna down on the dinning table. "Maybe we should let it cool down a bit. What do you say?" You looked up at him.

He stalked towards you and bent his neck to get closer to your face.

"Y/n... This is.. I know you don't like cooking so much. You didn't have to do this for me you know?"

"I know. But I just felt like doing something for you. Taking care of you, you know?", you smiled up at him nervously. You had taken a risk doing this. What if he didn't like your cooking? You were sure he'd appreciate the effort, but still..

"Doll... You don't have to do anything for me. But thank you so much for this. I love you", the words rolled off his tongue easily.

You stared at him dumbfounded, shocked and put on the spot. Maybe he doesn't realise what he had said. You didn't know if he expected you to say it back.

"I... ", you stopped yourself being rendered speechless. He looked at you expectedly. "We should probably eat before this gets cold" You said and averted you gaze and started setting the table.

The rest of the evening was a bit awkward but you hadn't mentioned it since. It was best to act as if nothing had happened. Probably.

After trying to put on your fake lashes for the fifteenth time you finally give up. You had been going out for a girls night with Nat and some other friends to a club. You picked up your phone to see a text from Steve.

Hey doll just got back. You wanna grab some dinner?

No, I'm sorry I'm going out with Nat.

Oh don't worry about it. Have fun. Be sure to call me when you get back.

There it was. His perfectness. Still worrying about you and being so protective over you. It made you feel warm but strangely scared at the same time. What would it mean if you just let someone take care of you or give into them? What if you lose yourself in the process? Or what if he takes advantage of your trust.

You sighed and sent him some kissy faces putting your phone in your clutch.

He was such a caring kind soul. You wish you could just say you loved him and showed him off to the entire world.

But the last time you had declared your love and gave your everything to someone, you ended up with a broken heart.

You knew Steve would never break your heart or do anything to hurt you, but he was a superhero and you were just an engineer. Your circumstances were anything but normal. So many things could go wrong.

He had women throwing themselves at him. Not just because he's captain america but also because he's Steve. Kind, caring, sweet and amazing Steve.

You knew he'd never cheat on you, but how long will it take him to realise he's out of your league, or how he deserves so much more than a broken person who doesn't understand his worth.

"Why are you so gloomy? ", Natasha asked and broke you out of your train of thoughts.

You hadn't told anyone about you relationship. It was all too new and you weren't ready to go down to HR just yet.

Part of you didn't believe it was real. Maybe you were waiting for something to go wrong. But it was so real. It was the realest thing you had ever felt.

"Oh you know... just work I guess" You half heartedly lied. Nat must've known something was up. She wouldn't suggest just hitting up a club, it wasn't her scene. She'd much rather catch up with you in a quite cafe.

"Mm-hm", she said clearly not believing you.

Maybe she planed to get you drunk to have you spilling your secrets.

The club was cramped with people. You could only get in because Nats name was on the list. One of the benefits of being an Avenger. The music was piercing your ears. You both managed to get drinks and grab a seat.

You tried to ask Nat to start dancing but she couldn't hear you over the loud music. You followed her gaze and saw suspicious looking men staring at you both from the vip lounge.

They were surrounded by big bodyguards and women. They looked like they were upto no good.

"Nat what's wrong?", you asked her getting more worried by the minute.

"I'm not sure. I think we should get out of here", you recognised the alarmed look on her face. You had seen it on Steve multiple times. Sometimes he would assess and analyze everything around him, look at all the exits, prepare for the worst. He wouldn't even let you sleep near his bedrooms door in case someone broke in at night, he'd want to protect you. He probably thought you didn't notice it but you did. You just chose not to acknowledge it not wanting to embarrass him.

"Ok", you agreed with her and tried to calm yourself. You both got up and ready to leave but were stopped by two huge guys.

"Black widow", one of them said and stared you both down. He had a sinister smirk on his face. "You made a huge mistake coming here", his threatening words were a huge contrast to his friendly tone and body language. "Follow us if you don't want to cause a scene"

"Actually I think we'll just leave", she retorted and held his gaze. You looked at the ground, not exactly sure what you were supposed to do.

"Please I insist. We wouldn't want to hurt these innocent people", he said nodding at his friends in the vip lounge.

"Alright", she smiled and leaned in to whisper in your ear "get out"

"Oh no no", he chuckled "she's coming with us"

"She's got nothing to do with you", you felt her getting stiff. You knew Nat was strong but even she couldn't take on so many men at once.

"She's not walking out of here either", he said. They both escorted you and Nat to a private room. You could barely see anything in the dim red light. There was a pole in middle of the room. You could see glitter and empty bottles everywhere.

You tapped your foot anxiously on the floor. Nat held your hand and gave you a small smile.

"It'll be okay, I promise", she whispered. You trusted her, you really did but how could either of you get out of this situation?

You saw some more men dressed in suits come on. One of them gave Nat a smile.

"Hey there Natalia remember me? You sent me to prison?"

"I don't remember every pest I crush", she snarked. Usually you were a fan of her snarky witty remarks, but now was really not the time or the place.

"Who's this?", he asked gesturing towards you. "Since when do you have friends?", you stared at an empty champagne bottle, to avoid his gaze, as if it was the most interesting thing you had ever seen. "Listen lady, Natalie is really not someone you would want to have as a friend. She'll stab you in your back without thinking twice."

You shut your eyes as hard as you could, wanting to be anywhere but here. "Hey", he scolds you using his gun to lift up your chin. "Look at me when I'm talking to you, will ya?"

"What do you want?" Nat asks desperately.

Tears start streaming down your face. You felt pathetic and small. How did you even get here?

Before you knew it all men in the room were shot down. You saw arrows sticking from their backs. That distracted the man holding a gum to your face. He turned around confused.

Nat kicked him in his shin and took the gun from him. Holding it to his head. "Guess who's going back to prison"

You sat there flabbergasted, not really processing what just happened around you.

"Hey there", you looked up and saw Clint with a few agents following him. "It's almost like you like getting in trouble."

"Thanks for that", she smiled at him " Hey you alright?", she asked you "I sent an sos to Clint. Not that I needed his help" to which Clint scoffed.

You nodded. "Good thinking"

"Steve's waiting outside for you. It took a lot of convincing to make him stay there", Clint said.

"What's Steve doing here?" Nat asked him. She wasn't even sure if you had ever met Steve.

"Oh you don't know", he giggled "she's his girlfriend! Sam owes me ten bucks. I knew he had a girl."

"Oh", she mused and looked at you her lips in a straight line pursed together.

"I'm sorry I should've told you", you smile at her sheepishly. "Can I go see him?"

***

You open the door and see him standing in the middle of the hallway. His hair disheveled, he was pressing his ear likely talking into the comms. The frown on his face sooths when he looks at you.

He starts walking towards you opening his arms. You run into them, grab his biceps and crash your lips onto his. Your teeth clash and hurt, it may not have been the most sophisticated reunion. You pull away a bit to look at him. He was smiling down at you. He looked exhausted, relieved and terrified all at the same time. You caress you cheeks and hold his face.

How could you have ever have mistrusted this man? He'd never hurt you, even if you didn't believe in anything else you had faith in him. You were more than willing to take this leap of trust, building a wall around your heart is no way to live. Especially when life is so short.

"I love you", you blurt and tears start flowing from your eyes " I've loved you since I met you. I was stupid to not say it before. I'm so sorry"

Steve wipes your tears and cradles your face. "Hey, it's ok. You said it now that's all that matters. I love you too" he says and you beam at him. "I just wish the first time you said it wasn't in front of Tony." he continues.

You look to your right and see Tony sitting on the sofa in the waiting area. Oh well, cats out of the bag now.

"Steve.. Tch tch" He starts shaking his head disapprovingly "you're stealing the nations youth. Craddle-robber"

Well you can't date Captain America without there being some teasing about it.

"Alright Tony" Steve says and smiles. You never liked how Tony was always so mean to Steve or how Steve never clapped back at him.

"Y/n, I thought you didn't like old men taking advantage of younger girls." He says with a shit eating grin on his face.

"Yeah well at least I have a boyfriend" You huffed and looked at Steve deciding to ignore him for now.

Maybe it was a petty to bring up Tony's myraid of commitment and intimacy issues but now that you're going to be official it was your duty to protect your man.

"We better get ourselves ready huh?" Steve asks still smiling. He couldn't bring himself to care about Tony he was just happy to have you in his arms. He decided he was never going to let you go.

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anbudrky2021 · 3 years

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Ch 5: Three Days

The 𝔇𝔢𝔩𝔦𝔠𝔞𝔱𝔢 Sound of 𝒯𝒽𝓊𝓃𝒹𝑒𝓇 │ 𝕋𝕙𝕠𝕣 𝕆𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕤𝕠𝕟

No smut warning in this one. Next one there will be :) Please click here for series description and TWs. 💕

I woke up to the sound of Nat at my door. She let herself in and sat down comfortably on the edge of my bed. “Hey sleepyhead, you missed breakfast..” she handed me a muffin.

“Oh,” I sat up, groggy and confused. “I must have slept through the alarm,” I noted, looking at my phone.

“That’s ok. Wanda is waiting in the lab with Shuri when you’re ready.” She gave me a kind smile. I smiled back. More tests. Like a lab rat.

“You’re not a rat,” Natasha laughed. “You’re a human going through something strange. We’ll figure it out.”

I laughed as well, “Ok. I am going to get up.” I said, finishing my muffin and moving the bedding. I got up and around, brushing my hair and teeth; I changed into some leggings and a t-shirt. I slid on my sneakers and sighed. “Alright. I’m ready.” I noticed Natasha was looking at her phone, confused. “Everything ok?” I asked observantly.

“Yeah, just a message from Tony I don’t understand.” She rolled her eyes and placed her phone in her pocket.

I bet it’s about Thor’s mission to observe Bucky. I scoffed at my own thought.

“No it’s about something else,” Nat replied, smiling softly.

“I really need to get this fixed,” I groaned.

We reached the lab in time to run into Thor wandering out of the wing. “Ladies,” he nodded his head in politeness, but continued walking without stopping. I blushed.

I counted his steps as he walked away, hoping it would keep me from projecting any thought I might have.

We entered the main area and saw Shuri in another room, through the glass. She waved at us to come to her. We walked together to the room and sat down in the chairs provided.

“So I was up...all night,” she began, looking somewhat exhausted but excited at the same time. “I have some ideas and Wanda volunteered to be like...”

“The control group,” Wanda interjected. I jumped at her voice, not realizing she had been in the room.

“So I am the experimental group?” I said, a little nervous.

“Yes, but you knew that already.” Shuri rolled her eyes and continued. “I have some tests I have already started with Wanda and would like to conduct with you, to see the difference in the firing of neurons, etc.”

“Ok...” I stared at her.

“Basically we’re going to compare her brain activity to yours, since she’s the closest example of someone who can use your same powers.” She shrugged her shoulders. “It’s another place to start..” she sighed.

I don’t want to be compared to Wanda. I do that myself enough. As soon as I thought it, I regretted it; I didn’t need Wanda and Nat to go on their ‘you’re beautiful as you are’ crusade. But nobody responded. Either I was being ignored or I hadn’t projected.

After about 15 minutes of setting up, a few projections, and some frustration, we were ready to start the first test.

Shuri had created a slideshow of different scenes, people, and words. Each of them had a purpose, according to her, and could hopefully help her figure out triggers or stressors within me and Wanda. Wanda had already completed hers.

“Ready?” Shuri asked. “Remember, some of these may be...upsetting or emotionally jarring. So let me or Nat know if we need to stop.”

Nat was beside me in the room, whereas Wanda and Shuri were on the other side of the glass, next to the computer.

“Ready as ever I guess...” I took a deep breath and watched the screen change.

The first few were almost funny; a cow, a dog, basic things.

The next few were more interesting; the compound, a field, the jet, knives

The knives made me uncomfortable but I tried to stay calm.

“The knives set off a different part of your brain,” Wanda said through the glass. Shuri shot her a look. “I wasn’t supposed to say that; sorry!” Her eyes were wide and animated. She was adorable sometimes.

Scott Lang, Tony, Bruce, T’Challa, Shuri scrolled on the screen, one at a time.

Wanda, Natasha, Clint, Thor

My heart was starting to race and I was not comfortable.

Steve, Pietro, Vis, Bucky

I didn’t move, I didn’t think, I didn’t say anything. Bucky wasn’t on the screen; he was in the next room with Wanda and Shuri.

“Can you leave,” I heard Shuri say, “Thor was looking for you anyway. Go find him.” She wafted him away. He made a point to look at me and smile. I didn’t smile back, only turned my head back to the screen.

Peter

“Can I take a break please?” I asked immediately.

“Uh, sure...” Shuri looked at Nat and nodded. Nat helped me remove the different testing measures and I left the room quickly. I took deep breaths but I felt like I was dying.

Wanda came out of her room and walked toward me. “Hey, you did a great job...” she soothed me, taking me into her arms. “You were so good.” She rocked me a little, allowing for me to calm down more. I was able to take a deep breath and collect myself.

“Sorry. I know the point is to identify brain...stuff...but that was a lot for me.” I shook my head with disappointment in myself.

“It’s understandable, Y/N, you’ve been through a lot and you haven’t necessarily had closure...” she rubbed my arm. “Are you ready to come back?” She pointed at the door.

“Yeah.” I took another breath. Ready to leave is more like it.

“Quitting isn’t an option today,” Wanda retorted.

I laughed but knew she was right.

We did some more tests for a few hours. Some emotional, some physical, some logic-based. By noon, Wanda and I were exhausted in every aspect of the word. Shuri let us leave but Nat stayed behind to help her work on the test results to find any patterns or relevance.

Wanda and I chose to take a walk on the Palace grounds to get some fresh air and sunshine.

“That was...a lot...” she said softly. It was hard on her, too. After losing her brother and her mom and dad... “I didn’t realize how much I missed Pietro..” she sniffled, wiping her face on her sleeve.

“Yeah, it was...” I rubbed her back as we walked.

We walked in silence for a while. We got to see some kids playing, a dog wandering around, and Steve down in a field with Bucky, sparring we supposed.

I did not mention the tight feeling in my chest when I saw Bucky fighting; I just walked and counted my steps.

“Y/N, why have you been projecting numbers?” She asked as we reentered the Palace.

“What?”

“Well it’s always a different pace, but it’s always numbers.” She looked at me quizzically.

“Oh, well I am trying to count footsteps instead of letting my thoughts project. I guess I am projecting the counting...” I laughed a little.

She smiled. “You’re so creative, you know that?” I smiled back at her as we parted ways. I headed for my room.

By dinner time, I was starving. I walked out of my room and headed to the dinning area.

“Y/N, wait up!” Steve called after me. I turned and waited for him. “How did today go?” He asked, thoughtfully.

“It was tough but hopefully worth something.” I gave him a forced smile.

“Bucky told me he walked in on you guys working. He felt bad about it, you know...” he looked at me wearily.

“I don’t care,” I smiled at him, pretending to not care even though I wanted to punch him for mentioning Bucky.

“Hey! Please don’t punch me,” he feigned fright by putting his hands up in surrender.

“Steve. I just-” I inhaled deeply. “I think about Bucky every day. I think about what happened all the time. I don’t want to think about him or it any more than I need to...” I trailed off. “Thank you for relaying that, but I don’t have the capacity to care about what Bucky feels.”

Steve nodded with understanding. “I gotcha.”

We walked into the dining room. Where, of course, Bucky was seated.

Goddamn it. This mother fucker.

Everyone looked at me. I blushed. Of course I projected that. I counted my steps as I walked to my seat, between Steve and Wanda.

Natasha sat across from me, next to Thor and Shuri. Bucky was on the other side of Steve, out of my sight at least.

As I ate, I counted my bites of food. I counted the number of rolls on the table. I counted the number of freckles on Steve’s arm. Anything to distract myself.

“Jesus Christ, Y/N. Quit with the counting!” Bucky sat his fork down harshly. “Just tell me what you’re thinking so you don’t have to distract yourself and annoy everyone!” He looked around and past Steve, right at me.

Everyone was staring at us. “Buck, I didn’t hear anything...” Steve whispered to Bucky.

“Neither did I...” Nat interjected.

“So only Bucky heard the projection?” Shuri asked, interested.

“No,” Thor’s voice now echoed above theirs. “I heard it, too. I just assumed everyone did and I’m not as ass.” He glared at Bucky.

I was blushing and completely confused. I stood up and walked off without a word.

I heard large steps behind me but ignored them until my wrist was caught by a large hand.

“Y/N, are you ok? That was futile. Bucky was out of line.” Thor looked concerned.

“I’m fine. Please let me go. I’m just so tired.” I started to tear up. My mind was overwhelmed and my emotions were completely out of sorts. I needed my mommy. Thor let go of my wrist and nodded. “Do you want company? I can sit and talk or-“

“No. Thank you. I just need time. I’m going to go...Um, I’m going visit my mom..” I turned on my heel and left him behind.

I walked for about 30 minutes in one direction before approaching the cemetery. I took a deep breath for calmness and then entered the lot.

I walked among the rows, feeling more and more nauseous the closer I got to her. Finally, I saw her stone.

T’Challa had a special marble figurine commissioned for her. It was on top of her headstone. It was beautiful and exuded her brilliance tenfold. I smiled as I fell to my knees in front of it.

The sobs that left me the moment my knees hit the grass were earth-moving. I could feel my body tensing and writhing as my tears fell. My shoulders heaved with every cry. I slowly drifted closer to the ground until I was laying completely on top of her grave. My tears watered her grass.

I don’t know how much time passed, but I had fallen asleep on my mother’s grave. When I awoke, my head was pounding and my eyes felt like stinging, melting glass shards. I sniffled and sat up, looking around. It was dark. I sighed and looked again at her figurine.

“Mom what do I do? Everything is worse. It’s all getting worse. I’m projecting in the wrong ways or not at all. I feel so exhausted. I’m being triggered by everything. I need you, mom...” I listened to the wind in between the graves and stones. The breeze passing through crevasses.

I laid down on my back and looked up at the sky. It was beautiful. I smiled and remembered a moment with my mom in which we went star grazing in Wakanda. He laughed for hours and had the greatest conversations.

I wish Thor was here. He’d love this. I bet he would say something about the Asgard sky and then horribly describe it. But he’d be smiling and that smile...

I blushed thinking about his smile. But then I caught myself. But what about Peter. I groaned.

I looked more at the stars and continued to fight back and forth between thinking of Thor and Peter. I was so engulfed in my thoughts I didn’t hear the gate to the cemetery open and close.

“Y/n.” Thor voice was soft and respectful.

“WHAT THE FUCK!?” I screamed and jolted upright. “You scared me to death!!!” I fell back onto the ground.

He laughed and said “this would be a good place to drop dead..”

I chuckled. “I suppose so...how’d you find me?”

“Earlier you said you were visiting your mom. You’ve been gone for hours...and then...” he looked at me strangely. “I started...seeing what you’re seeing. Like I’m you...” he sat beside me, elbows on his crooked knees.

“And then...Peter called me. He was freaking out asking if you were ok. Because he was seeing the same thing I was...” he looked down at me.

I looked at him, feeling nauseous again. Immediately, without warning I turned my head and vomited just out of moms burial site.

“Woah!” Thor held my hair back and soothed me the best he could. “Are you ok?”

“I-no-I don’t think-“ and I was done. I passed out in Thor’s arms and didn’t wake for three days.

#avengers smut #thor smut #mcu #bucky barnes #thor x y/n #thor #angst #present day au #canon divergent au #modern au

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fortheloveofqueerbooks · 2 years

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There’s heavy topic in the book, so like i always say check tw before going in. I request and receive an ARC of this book from the publisher on Netgalley. Thank you @simonschusterca She gets the girl gave me all the feels of those Christmas Romance movies that i binge watch every year from Dec 1 to Dec 31. It’s my guilty pleasure. So you can understand how i felt reading this book. We’ve got an MC confident, flirty, toxic, and come with alot of baggage. And another one with social Anxiety(same honestly), on a quest to be a better version of herself. And here come the manipulative behaviour, the lets help each other out even if we have our own agenda,im using you/you using me but it’s ok. I love the friendship that came before the falling in love, i was grinning alot. The way i could see the character behaviour changing when they were together. As someone who for most of her life has been a Molly i was so happy seing her becoming herself, getting the opportunity to show who she is really is, having someone giving her a chance. Having someone fall in love with you for who you really are and appreciate it. Uhhh the feels(intense screaming and giggle in my pillow). I might not be an Alex in my life but i felt for her, felt for the way she was judge by almost everyone even that so called girlfriend of hers 😡. Putting her in a box just because of the way she looks. I was also so upset at Alex yelling at her for not seeing in what type of relationship she was in. Like come on Girl if you need to change for a relationship(looking at you to Molly), if you never get uplifted, if all you get is second handed compliment, if all they ever talk about is what you do wrong, time to call it quit. Fav character: i got to handed it to Jim, my man was good. He was there when he needed to be without asking any question chef kiss Least fav character: NAT(hate the fact that it’s also my nickname irl). I wanna fight her. How can you be so TOXIC, omg omg 🤬🤬 Fav scene: The library scene(the one before Cora called), the one with all the tension. Got annoyed at Cora there cause can i have a nice thing going #queerbooks #shegetsthegirl #sapphicbooks #lgbtqbooks #queerbookstagram https://www.instagram.com/p/CbBizc0OiPt/?utm_medium=tumblr

#queerbooks #shegetsthegirl #sapphicbooks #lgbtqbooks #queerbookstagram

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kronkk · 3 years

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You also watch TWS when you’re sad??? GIRL I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE 😭😭😭 there’s nothing that can cheer me up like the elevator scene where Steve jumps out like 20 stories above the ground

legit its my go to for when I am sad and upset. RIGHT. Also bucky jumping and sliding on things makes me laugh every time because while yeah he looks badass he also looks so fucking goofy and it brings me joy. I also love the music and the whirring of his arm they bring me joy

also it has the most Nat of the movies (obviously besides BW now but thats still new) and I love her interactions with Steve and I love Maria Hill and Sam is just like hey I just met you yeah I'll fight this huge fucking terrorist org with you. Lets go.

It just brings me such joy, I love the cap crew so much.

RIP the last good movie the russo brothers made

#ask #anon #marvel posting #I could talk about catws for hours tbh #them making the winter soldiers liet motif being an edited version of Bucky's scream as he falls from the train???#*chefs kiss*

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bubbleyumss · 3 years

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The Scorch - LOKI - BUCKY - PT2.

It's a few weeks after the readers and Loki's first mission together, and during a press event they are reminded of what the public still think of them. Loki's not too impressed, and has some words of advice.

TW: Not much, mentions of harm/death/some magic n flame use?

It was time for the tri-monthly press event, Fury wished to hold one every so often so that we could share with the modern media what we have done and who we are. It was severely degrading in my opinion, they were pretty much just grand parties where a few journalists who had paid enough to be there managed to mingle their way through the crowds of other suck-ups to get a two-minute exclusive from Steve Rogers, seeing as he was always the one they wished to speak to. It was held at the old Avengers tower, as it was still owned by Stark it was now just leased out for events of this calibre.

I sat at the bar, looking out at the crowd of random faces, those that had paid a high price or had friends in high places, and the odd spattering of familiar faces. I was never approached by journalists in these situations, as they believed me too dangerous. It was the same story with Bucky and the newest recruit, Loki, as they saw us all as the help cases, only wishing to talk to us when we were next to someone redeemable.

Speaking of Loki, his face had disappeared from the crowd some time ago, I knew this because I had been watching him. Since our first mission was a success, the team had allowed him to join on a probation basis; this meant that the raft of new start-up bases we had found when in Argentina we were tasked with finding and shutting them down. It had been about four months since our first one, and we had found and destroyed five of them. It seemed that they were beginning to trust Loki and I as a team, though I wondered if it was done on purpose, for the very same reason that reporters were avoiding us both like the plague. We were the outcasts, Bucky too, but when you had the friendship and advocacy of America's most loved hero you were hardly seen as such, but Loki and I, two people who had killed and maimed on our own free will, were seen as irredeemable. This irritated me more than others knew, as with the past that Bucky and I shared I would have hoped that I would share in just an ounce of his redemption, but it seemed I reminded him far too much of the Winter Soldier, so I was cast aside.

"You don't look like you're enjoying yourself." Nat's voice brought me out of my thoughts, I turned to her and gave a small, defeated smile.

"Am I supposed to be?" I tried to laugh, "Is it really a press night when no press will talk to me." I rolled my eyes, leaning back against the bar. I wore something suggested by Nat, as to try and make me look like any normal woman at these events, meaning a skintight sparkly dress. I felt extremely uncomfortable, used to trousers and long sleeves, but it made me fit in really well.

"It was the same with me when S.H.E.I.L.D first started up. You'll become more approachable in time, look, already..." She began, nodding her head toward a smaller man holding a recording device nervously making his way to us both. I sat up straight, watching his smile falter.

"Um, hello ladies, I'm from the Evening Empire, do you mind if I get a couple of answers from you?" He smiled, directing most of his eye contact towards Natasha. I held the urge to roll my eyes, smiling through my uncomfortable uneasiness growing in my body.

"Of course, shoot." Nat smiled, gesturing for him to begin.

"Okay well, I suppose I must ask do you mind if I use your agent names for this article?" He then asked, glancing my way rather quickly. I held in my sigh, keeping my back straight. I looked to Nat, her eye giving me her usual look, we both looked back, nodding. "Great, okay, so Black Widow and The Scorch-" I took a sharp intake of breath as he spoke the name. I hated it. "How are things now that Stark is no longer at the helm, does Fury retain the same influence?"

"Stark still has his input, of course, but it was always Fury's project, and he was always the one giving orders and putting us to missions in the first place. So, nothing has really changed." Nat shrugged. I told him how it was unfair for me to answer, seeing as I hadn't really been under command of Stark, he was away in the Blip, and when he returned he played his part as we all did.

"Black Widow, are you visiting Hawkeye? How is he and are we likely to see his return to the team any time soon?" He asked, his recorder being pushed past my face so that he could reach Nat. I looked away, trying to compose myself, suddenly catching the amused eyes of Loki. He was across the room, in a very similar position with his brother, Thor. The reporters, all women, were practically pushing him aside to get to Thor, but his brother held an iron tight grip on him, forcing him to stay put. I rolled my eyes, smirking as I did, knowing that he would understand my pain. His own smirk graced his face, giving a small nod of appreciation. "A question for you, Black Widow, and of course you may jump in if you wish, but how has it been adjusting to anti-hero's joining the team? Of course, we know of the Winter Soldier and his road to redemption, I wondered if it is the same for The Scorch, or even the newest member, Loki?" He then asked, gaining my attention. I looked to him, making him flinch slightly; I then glanced to Nat, who held an apologetic look on her face.

"No one in this team in perfect, and it's unfair to say that someone can't decide to help others now because of past mistakes." She shrugged, answering much more eloquently than I would have been able to.

"Killing hundreds of people hardly counts as mistakes, The Scorch burnt down, what is it, five cities to date?" He asked, passing the recorder to me, as if I was supposed to fact check him. I scoffed, giving up on my niceties.

"Just as Nat said, no one here is perfect. I'm sure if you counted the bodies in Sokovia you could add up to how many I have-" I stopped myself, taking in a deep breath, "My 'road to redemption' as you called it is long, I know. No longer than Bucky's, but you all seem to love him now, so I'm sure one day I'll get there." I gave a tight-lipped smile, getting to my feet in a way that made the reporter take a few steps back, I could feel myself heating up so I looked back to Nat, "I'll see you later." I sighed, quickly removing myself from the bar and through the crowd.

I found myself outside, just needing to gasp as much fresh air as I could. It was suffocating, all of it. As much as I loved living with my team, working with them, finally finding a place that I could be myself and use the powers I was burdened with for good, a lot of the time I just wish I could be done with it all. I leant against the metal of the balcony, sighing as I did. It was crystal clear, so the stars and the moon provided the perfect light to take myself away from the sounds of chatting and music playing in the room behind me. I closed my eyes, wishing to take my mind away, when footsteps were then heard behind me. I sighed, spinning on my heels quickly, wishing to scare away who ever had followed me, only to release the tension in my shoulders and face when I locked onto Loki's amused eyes.

"It's just me." He said, holding his hands up, smirking. "I suppose you're out here to get away from those insufferable journalists." He snarled, glancing behind him to where he had clearly just left his brother for the same reason. I nodded, leaning back against the railing again, crossing my arms as he continued to stalk towards me. His gaze was so very intimidating, and I couldn't help but feel nervous every time I was under it.

"I suppose you're not as much as an outcast when you have the worlds most loved Avenger by your side." I rolled my eyes, Loki's arm came to lean on the railing beside me, his eyes following mine to where Steve stood, smiling with his arm around Bucky, talking to a large group of laughing journalists, "Thor and Nat can only do so much. We're the ones they don't trust and it's not changing anytime soon."

"We are outcasts together." He then said, taking my focus away from the party. I looked up to him, watching as his blue eyes sparkled under the moonlight. We had been in mission after mission for the past few months, so I had never had time to look at him in such a way. Of course, there was the few times we would catch each other in the hallways of the compound, as his room was not far from mine, a moment would be shared, but never one so close. I gave a small smile.

"I suppose we are." His own smile reached his face, only for our attention to be taken when the music had turned up a notch, creating a livelier dance scene within the room. "I've been asked about you tonight.. though, they used a different name.." He said in a questioning tone, forcing my smile to fade.

"The Scorch. I know." I sighed, waving my arms in the air in annoyance. "I hate it."

"Why?" I looked back to him, seeing his face as genuine. In our missions he had stayed true to his word and only answered any of my questions after a time in which he saved my life. Unfortunately, or fortunately, this had happened nearly eight times. Though, somewhere in the middle, he answered more than one, and following from there we had become more comfortable talking to each other. He was right when he said we were outcasts together, as in this moment he truly felt like the only person I could talk to freely. "It's powerful, is it not?" He suggested.

"I suppose.. but it's also made to terrify people." I shrugged, "I was named it before I joined the team. They used it as my alias when I was being hunted." His face turned concerned as his body moved towards me slightly, perhaps in an effort to comfort me. "It just reminds me of the places I've turned to dust, the people who died while I worked for Hydra... and I'm sure that's all people can think of when they hear it too." I muttered, becoming nervous under his eyes. I hadn't been so open with him before, of course I knew that we were becoming closer, but to talk about my fears with the God of Mischief? It was almost destined for disaster.

"Well.. change it." He shrugged, "Change the meaning. It's the past, and while it can't be changed, the future can."

"Very philosophical." I chuckled, rolling my eyes. "It will always have that meaning."

"Okay then, here's another idea." He stood straight, showcasing his enthusiasm. He opened his arms as his mouth turned upward into a smirk. "Embrace it." He then said, suddenly multiplying himself into three. He had done this in a previous mission, forcing me to marvel at his powers. He had described them as a seidr, and that he had learnt the use of the Asgardian form of witchcraft from his mother, of course I never wanted to give him the satisfaction of being impressed, but I couldn't manage a straight face. The two beside him then disappeared just as they had appeared, "I was given the title of God of Mischief, I had to grow to fit that title rather than fight it. And look where I am now."

"You tried to take your crown, twice, failed.. you tried to invade New York, failed, and I forget, has it been three or four times now you've faked your own death?" I asked, keeping my amused smile painted to my face. He turned, rolling his eyes in an attempt to leave me; I laughed, grabbing on to his arm to pull him back, "I'm kidding. I appreciate the sentiment, Loki. I do." I smiled, suddenly pulling him far closer than I meant to. I still held onto his arm as his chest was only mere centimetres away from mine, his face looking down to me much closer than it ever had been, and I had been right. The moonlight made his eyes look like the ocean, something I could easily lose myself in. I realised the proximity, coughing awkwardly as I let go of his arm and took a step back, "So... embrace it how?" I asked, hoping to push the conversation forward.

"Have fun with it." He smiled, leaning back on the railings once more, "My brother says you can throw your ability.. you set alight his beard just by staring hard enough." He chuckled, raising his eyebrows.

"I can only do it if I concentrate, I have to be still and so do they." I sighed, "I haven't fully mastered it. It was actually how I burnt down my third foster home... if I don't concentrate I can't control it. It's dangerous." I warned, knowing what he was going to ask of me next. He shrugged.

"Okay, so concentrate." He said, scanning the crowd of people through the glass, zeroing in on a woman at the bar I had previously left Nat at. "Her feather boa seems a little obnoxious." He smirked. I turned, watching as she placed her large red boa on the top of the bar, taking up a large amount of room. I glanced back to Loki, rolling my eyes again, but unable to keep the smirk from my face.

"That's not going to help my reputation, Loki." He stood up, taking a step to me, and placing his hands on my shoulders from behind, turning my attention back to the woman. We hadn't touched this way before, it was so small, and not significant in any which way, but the feeling of his hands on my bare skin felt so... normal. I had expected the cold of his own skin to react with the heat of mine, but it was as if they cancelled each other out, making the connection feel melded.

"I embraced the unpredictability of chaos and mischief, and you must do the same with fire. You will be able to concentrate and control it more if you can practice. So, what do you say?" He questioned. My breath hitched as his mouth then came close to my ear, cheek pressed slightly to it, "Shall we have a little fun?"

I smiled, feeling the exhilaration coming from his hands on my skin; I didn't know if he were doing something to me in order to spur me on, but either way I could feel the power of expectation feeding my urge to do as he said. It felt oh so similar to when I worked for Hydra and executed their missions, but this time I knew that I wasn't about to hurt anyone, making my conscience clear for the first time in my life. I planted my feet to the floor, focusing my eyes and my energy onto this boa that was truly obnoxious, feeling myself heat myself a degree or two before the boa rather explosively set alight. Loki's hands squeezed my shoulder as we both shouted in excitement; I looked back to him just to see the smile he held on his face, seemingly proud of my accomplishment. The party goers panicked, the woman shouting about her favourite boa as other tried to run around and put it out.

"My turn." Loki then whispered, letting go of me and coming to my side. I watched his face grow determined. His eyes were trained on the people that had backed away from the bar watching the fire; suddenly the drinks within their hands began to pop, splashing into each of their faces and sending ice and small umbrellas go flying everywhere. I began to chuckle, watching on as they worried about what was happening. "Brilliant." He laughed. I looked back to him endearingly, realising that this was the first time I had heard him laugh.

"Thank you, Loki." I smiled, "Shall we get a drink?"

The bar had just been cleared, the people who now wore their drinks had disappeared and the ash of the feather boa had been wiped away, so it was free for Loki and me to take our place there and order ourselves some drinks.

"Oh dear, what happened here?" Loki asked the bartender, face convincingly sincere. The man shrugged.

"Weird things, man. Spontaneous combustion all over the place." He sighed, sliding our glasses to us. A smirk befell both of our faces as we held our glasses to each other, clinking together in a twisted celebration of our mischief. I wondered if this night would mean anything new for us as a team, whether it would create a new, closer dynamic or if it would make it so that Fury didn't want us to work with each other anymore. It wasn't hard for the team to figure out who did what around here, so it was only a matter of time before we were told that it was 'too dangerous' for us to work together.

"Um, hello, excuse me?" A voice then said, taking me away from my previous thoughts. It was the same man from before who questioned Nat and I, he was holding his recorder tightly in his grip, looking like he was nearly shaking. "May I question you two?" His voice held fake confidence as he looked between Loki and I, and while I commended him for facing a fear and growing the guts to talk to us both, I knew what the questions would be. I glanced to Loki, then back to the man.

"Go ahead."

"J-just the one question really... um... what do you say to those who are afraid of the partnership between The Scorch and the God of Mischief?" The moment the words left his mouth I sighed, looking to Loki who simply held his glass to his lips, allowing for me to answer the question. I looked down to the journalist, taking the recorder from his hands and holding it to my mouth.

"I have a three-point answer for you." I raised my eyebrows, noticing that I had caught the attention of others around us, "The Scorch is a name you gave me, it's connotations around destruction and death don't represent me anymore." I glanced back to Loki, "But I'm working to embrace my powers so that they don't lead to that very same destruction, so for now, I'll allow you to continue to use that name."

"Point two?" Loki's voice questioned, making me smile.

"Point two, Loki and I seem to be the outcasts, sure, but that doesn't mean that we can't do good. In fact, it's all we've been doing for the past couple of months, but you just don't know it." I rolled my eyes, watching as more and more people joined the small crowd, now including Steve and Bucky. Bucky's eyes were trained on me, arms crossed in an almost disapproving way, I had to fight away the roll of my eyes, "We have been dismantling new Hydra start-ups together, and doing a damn good job of it I would say. We are outcasts together, and so we will continue to work together." I sighed, glancing back at Loki in order to get his final input.

"Point three?" He suggested, eyes twinkling with mischief once again. I looked back to the reporter, not before catching the eye of others around us as to join them in on the conversation.

"To truly answer your question, you shouldn't be afraid of us. Fearing us is pointless when all we are trying to do it help the state of the world as it is." I shrugged, "This world is in far more disarray than Loki or I could possibly cause, so as we both do our jobs, and have fun while we do so, just get on with your lives." I gave a wry smile as I handed it back to the journalist, watching as his lips twitched as if to say something. Though it seemed that all he could manage was an insincere smile, nodding his head before he scurried away. I turned back to Loki, pulling my drink to my lips as he smiled down at me.

"That was marvellous." He commented, amusement seeping through his words. "I may grow to actually like you."

"You can admit that you already do, Loki, it won't make me see you as any less of a God." I winked, perhaps coming across far more flirtatious than I set out to be. I froze for a moment, not knowing how he was going to take it, but as his smile turned to its side into a smirk, I felt an unfamiliar heat rise in my stomach. I was used to all types of heat, I knew how my body reacted to things, but this was new.

"You may be right."

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macabretrees · 3 years

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When his inhibitor chip malfunctions, Sinker finds himself stationed on an Imperial Star Destroyer, tasked with experimenting on captured Jedi for the purpose of researching their Force count.

His current subject: Former General Plo Koon.

tw: medical torture, ao3 version available

Pls consider reblogging!

----

Sinker comes back to himself in between the threshold of the holding cell back to the medical wing of the Star Destroyer he’s currently stationed on. It’s like the worst migraine of his life, so much so that it stills him in his tracks. With a hand braced against the smooth wall, the former clone sergeant groans deeply as the pain radiates through his temple, all the way to the back of his skull.

He crouches low, precisely aware of the bright fluorescent lights bouncing off of the pristine steel floors beneath him. It’s nauseating, and he clamps his eyes shut just to shield his eyes from the blinding rays. It does little, and the nausea blossoms in his stomach. Out of instinct, he smashes a hand to his mouth as his gut wretches, and immediately is assaulted with the taste of something putrid and acridic, seeping through the gaps of his fingers.

What...the...hell…

It’s not vomit--at least not his. And upon further inspection, he takes note of the black and yellow-ish liquid staining his white gloves, the substance extending up to the fabric of his elbow.

“Trooper, is everything alright?” Despite the question, there is little concern behind the harsh, Coruscanti accent. It sounds like General Kenobi on a bad day, and with great effort the Sergeant draws his gaze away from his hand, and to the man standing squarely above him.

He looks through crescent lids, the halo of light behind the officer agitating his growing migraine.

“Trooper, I asked if everything was alright. You are needed in the medical wing, those samples need analyzing now.” There is growing agitation in the man’s voice, tight lipped tone indicating that he is on an even tighter schedule, “the junior researchers have not seen you for the past fifteen minutes.”

Still, the clone cannot speak or will himself to move.

It’s all too much. Suddenly he was a drone, a mindless trooper just following orders. Now he is Sinker.

He must have looked like a spectacle, dry heaving on the ground and avoiding the light like some sort of vampire.

“I thought your kind couldn’t get sick.” Disdain still evident, there’s a tone of curiosity in the man’s voice as he inclines forward, his blond hair and beard coming into view. He certainly isn’t a clone, but Sinker knew that already.

Even with his body and mind stolen from him for the past...what? 10 years? 15? 20? He’s been afforded bits and pieces of information, past the “initiate Order 66” past the “Good Soldiers follow orders”, Sinker has weaved a net of sparse information together.

He’s in the Empire, the Jedi are all gone, killed by him and his brothers, and he’s a medic again. That explains the liquid on his arms, but what was it? And why did it taste like that? It's non-human, that’s for certain. But why ? The Empire doesn’t employ non-humans, do they?

And certainly not Kel Dor.

Time stops for Sinker in that moment, and not even the white noise of the ship registers to him. Nor, unfortunately, the officer above him growing clearly more and more agitated with him. The substance on his arm--the blood literally on his hands--captivates his conscious. He knows this blood. He knows it very well. Has tended to it on the battlefield, has washed it from his armour after his General had thrown himself atop of him, had watched in horror as it had oozed out after the General had taken a rather nasty shot to his side.

This is Kel Dor blood on one hand. In the other--Sinker looks, and bites his tongue as he staves off the sharp wave of nausea--is the sample.

“You must be going absolutel--”

Sinker rises with the grace of a still mind-controlled clone, masking the absolute horror building in his gut as to not tip the officer in front of him off.

“Apologies sir. I had a bad reaction to a gas from one of the subjects lungs. A bit too much helium.” He lies, inclining his head forward as he excuses himself, “Won’t happen again.” He brushes past the man, previous schedule melding with his conscience.

Things begin to come back to him like building blocks. Where he is. What he’s doing--what he has been doing. It’s all coming back. But this time, he has control.

He needs to analyze the sample--brain tissue. Scan it for midichlorian counts, see if it can be liquidized and transferred to others--to humans. This will take him about three hours. Then he will take his break, eat in the mess hall, and return to the subject to collect another sample. Only today he will skip his lunch, see his subject earlier, and board the nearest ship and get the hell away from here.

He’ll get himself out. He’ll get his General out, and if he’s lucky get his brothers out too. But he doesn't know if they’ve been freed like he’s been, if they’ve gotten back to themselves, or if the Chancellor's orders are still ringing in their heads.

He doesn’t even know who’s on the ship. Who’s still in the Empire or who deserted.

The work is completed mechanically, and despite being thrown into the midst of a shit-show, his memory continued to trickle in the gaps. Every new revelation is another punch to the gut. In summary he was promoted to the head medic of the Star Destroyer, which for all intents and purposes is primarily a research vessel. Though the weaponry and guarded halls say otherwise.

Sinker was a medical sergeant during the war, often making split second decisions to save his brothers and his General, as well as starting the first encyclopedia of medical field treatment across species. While Plo was his primary General, he’d opted on missions with the 501st and had often worked his way around Commander Tano’s complicated biology. Following that, he and the others had gotten together to come up with a rather large encyclopedia of their alien Generals and Commanders. And on his offtime, Sinker studied it like a hungry dog.

The Empire had put him to work immediately, his knowledge of Force sensitives aliens used on captured Jedi.

The Empire was trying to create a new army of force sensitives, trying to see if the Force could be transplanted into individuals. Sinker was tasked with making the concoction, and led the project since the rise of the Empire.

He’s the most brilliant researcher in the Empire, but his research stands on the bodies of captured Jedi.

He’s gotten good enough so that he has his own lab, but junior nat-born researchers are stationed everywhere, wide eyed students studying his samples, asking him questions. He takes note that none are clones. And a small part of him fears he’s the only one left on the station.

Still he answers the researchers questions, comments on their work, and offers them input when he can. Anything to appear normal, to appear kept together. To steady his shaking hands and throbbing heart and aching head.

When his three hours are up, he makes a beeline to the holding cell, dismissing invites from other researchers to lunch with a smile and the typical, “You know how I feel about my work.” They laugh and call him a workaholic, and Sinker wants to cry at the irony of the situation. If all goes well, he won’t be working here.

Not anymore.

When he gets to the cell, he’s greeted by the plain white armour of two stormtroopers, inclining his head as a quick greeting before punching in the keycode.

“It’s popular in there, today.” The trooper jokes, just as he steps in, “Looks like a family reunion.”

But before Sinker can say a word, the door zips closed behind him. He’s too tired to linger on what was said for longer than necessary, though one look at the scene unfolding before him tells him he doesn’t have to.

He’s met immediately with the sound of shuffling and cursing.

“How the hell did he get him stuck on here? I don’t want to pull him off, it may hurt him.” That sounds like--

“Wolffe! At the door, it’s Sinker!” And that’s certainly Boost, quick to concern and worry as usual.

Elation is too small of a word to describe the emotions that run through him. Because before him are his brothers--Wolffe and Boost, alive in well, albeit rather agitated and flustered at being caught attempting to remove Plo from his binds.

Though the elation is short lived.

He can’t see the General, and part of him is grateful for that. But it’s only temporary, he’ll have to face his fears if he wants to undo Plo from his binds. He’ll have to face what he did to the man if he wants to save him. It’s no simple lock, and Sinker is the only one who can undo it. Not only that, but Wolffe is right, removing him may hurt him. Sinker did not create the medical bed with the intent of comfort. Plo is--was--an experiment to him, and up until now believed to be a traitor. He treated him accordingly.

“Boost, Wolffe, it’s--”

He doesn’t get the word out, as a fist immediately connects to his uncovered head.

And unlike the other two, he’s not wearing armour. Sinker staggers, but draws on his years of combat training and exercise. He may be a researcher now, but he can outfight Wolffe and Boost on any given day, armoured or not. He’s always been the superior fighter, and he’s taken a lot worse than a sneak attack from Wolffe and Boost.

It’s messy and too long, but within a minute he has Wolffe under one arm, and a knee to Boosts’s backgrounding hm in place

“You two need to stop, or they’ll hear us and we’ll never be able to get him,” he whispers, low.

“Sinker...you’re..you’re free?” Boost gasps, “How-when?”

“We’ll catch up later, but I'll need to report back to the lab in under an hour. We need to get him loose now.”

Sinker releases them, and Wolffe gasps for breath while Boost groans in pain. He’ll apologize later, but for now the General’s life is at stake. With urgency he turns to the back of the cell, where his General stands attached to an upright medical bed, bound to it with metal braces. Sinker gasps, and with every step he takes towards him fights the urge to scream and run.

The General is lacking all color, and where he was once a healthy burnt orange, he is now a mix of white and greys. The white extends to his half-lidded eyes, which are now dull and near unseeing, and absent of their protective goggles. Throughout his body are large, thick metal piercings. Used to keep the Force at bay in particularly strong, Force sensitives. Sinker had invented them himself, and remembers with great accuracy the care he took into placing them in his General’s body.

They will need to be removed when he gets him off of the station.

There are scars and bandages all over his body, burn marks and more discoloration. The newest scar is above his temple, where Sinker took the brain sample from earlier that day. Sinker isn’t even aware that the soft tips of his fingers have brushed over the scar, tracing it gently as his eyes begin to sting with tears.

It’s still raw, and the bandage is yellow with blood.

Sinker doesn’t apologize, lest he break into violent sobs there. Rather he inputs the code into the keypad, bracing himself for his General’s body as it falls forward. When he embraces the taller creature, he takes note of how thin he is, how light he is. As their General, Plo Koon had been strong and sturdy. Even with his thick robes and gowns, his strength positively radiated off of him. The General took care of himself.

Sinker had ruined him in a matter of years.

The holding cell is not a generic one. And due to his position as head researcher, Sinker has made it a point to move certain medical supplies into the cell should he need access them. He thanks the Force that he’s left a wheelchair. Even with Plo’s height, it’s easy to settle him down into the chair, and Sinker straps him to it by the arms and waist. Then Sinker takes a glance over at his vitals, displayed on the screen.

The General is sleeping, now. Or, more correctly, had passed out during the removal of his brain tissue. He’ll wake later. And he’ll wake in pain.

Sinker takes an injection from one of the trays, and winces at how large and sharp the needle is. Unfortunately there’s no getting around the General’s incredibly thick skin, and even in the Clone wars, penetrating it was an uphill battle.

Though at the sight of an injection, Wolffe is summoned to his side.

“What are you doing with that?” His former Commander speaks as he places a hand over Sinker’s, ready to fight the man again if he has to.

“It’s to keep him sleeping, Wolffe. He’ll wake up if I don’t give it to him, and he’ll be in pain.” Sinker jerks his arm away, and sticks the general with the needle. Part of Sinker is hurt...hurt that Wolffe can’t trust him. Hurt that he thinks he’d do anything to harm his General of his own accord. Hurt that he can’t understand that it’s not Sinker’s fault. That he was under control of someone or something else.

The Kel Dor makes no indication that he’s been stuck, and instead his unseeing, half lidded eyes look forward into the distance.

“We need to put his goggles on, right? Do you know where they are, Sinker?” Boosts asks as he looked around.

“Yeah, I do.” He says flatly, wondering if at all he’ll be able to justify giving his test subject goggles or any other form of comfort, “they’re in that cabinet over there.”

Wolffe wastes no time in snapping them on the General’s face. All the while Sinker gets what medical supplies he can from the cell, and makes a note to collect more in the lab. Where there going will likely not be a medical facility, and if they’re going to keep Plo alive, they’ll have to make do with what they have.

“We’ll need to stop by the lab.” Sinker says aloud, “I just need a few more things and we can get out of here, assuming we make it to the platform without being caught or stopped with a test subject.”

Now it’s Wolffe’s turn to sound guilty, and a dark blush colors his face, “That..shouldn’t be a problem?”

“Why? Buddy buddy with the General or something?”

“I am the General, Sinker.” He admits, raising a hand when Sinker makes to ask more, “It’s a long story. The Empire promoted those of us who were good on the battlefield to Generals, me included. Do what you need to do, and I’ll keep the other officers off of your tail until we’re ready to leave. But make it quick, because I have to check in with the navy in less than an hour. And If any of these brown nosers tip the Empire off that Plo’s missing, there’ll be an all out mutiny.”

“Nat-borns aren’t as loyal as we were,” Boost fills in, tapping his fingers on his biceps, “and aren’t happy about having to listen to a clone. They’ve been trying to take Wolffe down since he first got promoted.”

“You can tell them I gave the order to move him to the lab for another procedure. You take it from there--Boost, we need to get out. Get ready.” Wolffe commands, “I’ll meet you in landing bay seven in thirty minutes. Do not be late.”

Wolffe leaves with Boost in tail, leaving Sinker alone with more questions than answers.

Below him, General Plo is limp. Though his pulse is steady and his heart beating fast. He’s alive. He’s safe. Wolffe is alive, Boost is alive, safe. They’re all safe.

With luck, they can keep it that way.

Check it out here on ao3!

#sergeant sinker #commander wolffe #plo koon #boost #tcw

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justreadingfics · 5 years

Text

Looking For a Heartbeat (ch. 22/26)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Reader

Series Summary: You and Bucky used to be in a relationship. Feelings were hurt, you left. It’s been two years and you’re back. You both will handle the reunion well, won’t you?

Word Count: 5,2K

Warnings for this chapter: fluff, cute kids, dad!bucky.

A/N: Thank you @suz-123 for being so amazing. I’m sorry for taking so long to write this one. For some reason it was one of the hardest chapters for me. Ooo, I finally have chapter count and I’ll most likely end it at the 26th.Links are messing up posts, you can find the masterlist link on my description.

*I’m going to add all the amazing stuff some people has made for this story on the masterlist link.(I should add that my Reader character has no specific physical characteristics, this is just one of the possible representations) this beautiful moodboard was made by @buckybarnesbeans thank you babe, I loved it.

By the way, if you somehow feel inspired by my story and want to make a little something out of it, just know you’ll turn me into a very happy writer ;)

~~~

“She’s all wrinkled.”

“Oh, man!”

“It’s ok,” You chuckle when Harry lets the frustrated whisper out at Luna’s comment, one of the two children in his arms, careful not to wake the peacefully sleeping baby in the crib, “She does look a little wrinkled now, Luna. She came out of my belly just a couple of days ago.” You continue and laugh at the grimace the little girl gives at the information.

“I think she’s cute,” Jon whispers just like his father, gaining a smile from him.

“Thank you, Jon,” You reach and fumble with his hair, “She’ll look cuter in time, I promise, Luna,” You add, amused by the kid’s blatant disappointment at the newborn looks.

Summer ended up not having to stay in intensive care, like most premature babies. The first tests had shown the serum has made her healthier than most babies, but so far that’s it. Doctor Nadine explained that, whether it would make her strong like her dad or bring her any other super characteristic or not, only time would tell.

The first couple of days after you brought Summer home have been extremely busy, with a bustle of people coming and going, everyone wanting to take a little peek at the youngest habitant of the tower, showering her with all kinds of presents from this world and others. You don’t mind it, in fact, you love it, this just means how cared for Summer is by so many of your friends… your family. Besides, it’s certainly fun to watch Steve, the massive and respectful Captain America, bursting into ugly crying every time he gets a chance to hold Summer.

Bucky likes the crowd, too. He’s always eager to show off his daughter, bragging about how healthy and big she was when she was born, how quiet she is, how well she sleeps, how cute her little cry is -which it’s not-, but you let him say whatever. Watching how big his love for your baby is will always be one of the most special things you’ve ever seen…

He’s been staying at the tower, in his old bedroom, and hardly ever leaves yours and Summer’s side. Just now, like an hour or so before Harry arrived with the kids, Bucky only left to go grab some clean clothes from his apartment. You suspect he’s staying a little longer…

“We brought presents,” Luna announces, lifting a little box to the air, after her dad puts her and her twin on the floor.

“Shhh, Luna, the baby is sleeping,” Jon places a finger over his mouth, holding another similar box in his other hand.

“It’s ok. Summer sleeps like a rock, thank God,” You give Harry a sigh of relief, who chuckles, before you turn back to the little ones, “Ooo, presents, she loves presents, can I see them?” You crouch, reaching out for the boxes, which they both hand you, bouncing on their legs and giggling.

“They chose them themselves,” Harry says, proudly, sitting on the fluffy carpet, following you and the kids.

They both help you unwrap the boxes, and you find two little figures with big bouncy heads. You know what they are. Funko Pops. They’ve made a few of the Avengers before, including one from you.

“This is Luna Lovegood.” Luna announces as you stare questioningly at the little figures. She leans over and points to the female one. A blond little girl with big and weird colored glasses.

“This is Jon Snow.” Her brother, points to the male one, all in black and holding up a sword.

You shoot an entertained look at Harry, who only cringes and try to hide into himself.

“Oh, wow, Luna and Jon. It’s you guys?” You ask, already knowing the answer.

“Hum-hum,” They both nod, “And we’ll protect Summer when she cries.” Luna adds.

“Oh,” Your heart melts as you smile and your eyes can’t help but water at the sweetness of their intent, “That’s amazing. Thank you so much.” You bring the little Funkos to your chest, “Summer will love them and I’m so glad she has you guys to protect her. I’ll put them on the shelf right next to her crib, alright?”

They seem pleased with the information as they lift up their chin and smile widely. After giving each a kiss on the cheek and add Harry as a receiver of the thankful gesture, you get up to place the little images on the shelves with Summer’s many stuffies her dad bought her. Not to mention the human size one Tony gave her and now occupies a great deal of the room.

“Mr. Bucky!”

You hear them both shouting in unison and look over your shoulder just in time to watch the two little kids running and throwing themselves at Bucky, who promptly catches them by the door.

“Ugh, hey, hey,” He adjusts them on each arm, grinning, “How are you guys doing?”

“We’re fine, your little baby is sleeping,” Luna informs quickly, swinging her legs and playing with a lock of his hair absentmindedly.

“She’s cute,” Jon adds from the other arm making Bucky’s smile grow even bigger.

“She is, isn’t she, pal?”

“She’s a little too wrinkled now, but Y/N says she’ll get cuter soon, we brought her presents, look, there’s a huge bear over there, bigger than you, Mr. Bucky,” Luna utters quickly and effusively, with her usual and childish honesty.

Bucky laughs a full belly laugh, before placing them back on the floor. He smiles at you before turning to Harry, who’s now standing up, trying to find some place on his clothes to shove his hands into.

“Hey, man,” Bucky clears his throat and his smile drops a bit when he reaches his hand for Harry to shake.

“Hey, ahm, Summer is beautiful, congratulations,” Harry says, accepting his handshake.

The smile tugs at Bucky’s lips again at the mention of Summer, and after thanking him and letting go of Harry’s hand, he walks towards the crib to watch her sleeping.

You sigh, grabbing a couple of stuffies to show the kids… You noticed how tense Bucky got at the sight of Harry …You hate that.

“Oh, well, well, if it ain’t the Super Spy twins I see? I should take cover.”

“Auntie Nat,” Another burst of happy squeals fills up the room and you’re thankful Summer really seems to be a pretty heavy sleeper so far.

The twins rush to go give Nat a hug. You can’t help but beam at the scene. Nat has told you she and Harry had took the kids on a couple of dates - without actually telling them about the true nature of their relationship and by the “auntie” before “Nat” and the excitement on their little faces as she crouches to receive their hug, the dates were a success. You couldn’t be happier for your friend.

Glancing over Harry, you spot the stupid and infatuated look you have ever seen someone put on as his gaze is stuck on the three of them. When his eyes flicker and meet yours, he instantly straightens up, clearing his throat and blushing harder than when he met Steve.

You chuckle quietly, but doesn’t say or let out any sign of the fact you know exactly the cause of the dumb look on his face. If they want it that way, you respect that. All this while Bucky remains oblivious to the scene, completely enamored of the little figure on the crib, just staring at her, like he’s done a lot the last few days.

“Hey, Nat,” you greet, with a smirk adorning your face as you saunter over her, raising a suggestive eyebrow before you hand the little stuffies to Luna and Jon.

“Ahhh, so cute,” Luna yelps and she and Jon entertain themselves with the little bears.

“Hey, hot mama,” She greets back, kissing your cheek, “Hey, there,” She says in her huskiest voice and nods at Harry, taking a not so subtle bite on her lip as she shamelessly gives him a once over.

“H-hi, hey,” He stutters, adjusting his glasses. He doesn’t even dare to look at your direction. How haven’t you noticed those two before?

“Where’s my girl?” Natasha turns back to you - as if she hasn’t just almost murdered Harry – and puts emphasis on girl. After Summer was born and the secrecy was over, Nat was the absolutely cheeriest in finding out Summer was a girl. I knew it, not a traitor. You believe these were the exact first words she said to the baby with happy tears in her eyes, “Is our little sun, asleep?” She asks, already moving over to the crib.

In line with her question, the cry Bucky insists on calling “sweet” fills up the room.

“There she is,” you laugh and everyone’s attention turn to the little baby already in Bucky’s arms.

You walk over him as he rocks her and simultaneously checks her diaper, “Ooo, a pretty girl needs a change,” he announces, “Hey, Nat,” He smiles, “It’s ok, it’s my turn,” He addresses to you when you reach to take her, and, as he strikes a baby talk with Summer, he already places her on the changer. You notice he ends up touching her with his metal arm – the gentlest of touches- which makes you feel relieved and proud at the same time.

“Oh, ok. I think it’s time to feed her again, too. I’ll do it after you’re done.” You say.

As he starts the process of changing Summer, with the most tender moves you’ve ever seen, Nat stands beside him, caressing her face with the back of her finger and quietly singing a Russian lullaby to soothe her exasperated crying. Your heart turns into a puddle at the scene of two of the deadliest assassins in the world at the complete mercy of the little baby.

“Ahm, we should go, kids.” Harry calls from behind you, enticing effusive lament sounds from the little ones, who’ve been playing with the stuffies.

“Oh no, you don’t have to,” You try to argue as you turn back to them.

Summer has now eased down her crying, allowing Auntie Nat to the rescue, “Why don’t we go grab some ice cream, huh guys?” She claps her hand, bending over.

Two little faces light up at the proposal, “I want three scoops.” Luna shouts, dropping the stuffie to the floor as her little feet bolts towards a grinning Nat.

“I want four.” Jon quickly follows her sister and, just like her, grabs Nat’s hand before they both start pulling her towards the door.

“Five…” You hear the little girl’s voice, as they’re already out of the room.

When Harry turns to you he’s not even trying to hide the shit-eating smile on his lips anymore. He shrugs before you tell your goodbyes.

~~~

Becoming a mother is truly an interesting process, to say the least, you understand it more and more, as the months go by with Summer by your side. While one moment it feels like you’ve been awakened for too long, the hours of feeding are endless and you miss missions and it’s like you’ll never adjust to your new routine; at others, you’re crying because your baby is growing too fast, you’re afraid to screw her up and you don’t want to do anything but hold her close to you and never let go.

You love your kid with all your heart and more than anything, but you’re still trying to figure out how to be a mother most of the time- earning you a lot of long ass sessions with Heloise. While every so often you struggle with your new life, Bucky, as it turns out, is a natural. It’s like he was born to be a father. He does everything with you: he gives her baths, he rocks her to sleep, changes diapers, tells stories she, despite being too young to actually understand them, pays focused attention on... Little by little, his fear of touching her with his metal arm has vanished and it’s like he doesn’t even remember he has it. As a matter of fact, it turns out to be a very useful tool to cool down Summer when the heat is too strong.

One night, while you three struggle with infant cramps and he calms her down by waddling her snugly in a blanket, rubbing soft circles on her back, he tells you he’s been remembering of how he used to take care of his younger sisters and that’s why it seems so much easier with Summer now.

Around the second month after her birth he still hasn’t gone back to his apartment and that’s when the following scene takes place, while you’re feeding Summer on the couch in your living room and he’s right there by your side, dreamily caressing her chubby cheeks - a habit that often distracts the baby and makes her stop sucking and prolonging the time you spend feeding her, but you would never tell him that. A particularly loud sigh from him catches your attention, making you shift your gaze from your daughter, peacefully dozing in your arms, to him.

“Are you ok?” You asked softly as your eyebrows draw together.

His gaze snaps to you for a second before it drops back to Summer, “Yeah, it’s just… I have to come back to my apartment and… it hurts…” He sighs, “Just the idea of staying away from her… it physically pains me.”

“Oh,” it slips from your mouth, before you look back to her. You imagine what it would feel if you had to stay apart from her… No. Not happening, “Why do you have to go?” You ask.

Hopeful eyes bore into yours, “You wouldn’t mind? I mean…”

His hesitation makes you scoff, “Why would I? This is your home.” You say, shrugging and nodding at Summer, making clear what you mean by “home.”

At the very next day, Bucky moves back to the Tower. But, instead of occupying his old room, he accepts your offer to stay in a spare bedroom in the apartment Tony made for you. Three floors apart would be too far away from Summer, after all…

On the days after his moving, it doesn’t slip from your attention that, after you ask Friday to wake you up again if he had nightmares – like you did what if feels like ages ago- not even once she ends up having to do it, since, while he’s not taking care of Summer, he sleeps peacefully and deeply…

~~~

When Summer is six months old you decide to go back to missions. You start with small and quick ones that don’t require you to leave the city. Staying away from her those few moments is a sweet pain, but one you know it’ll be good for you. And for her, honestly.

Bucky decides to wait a little longer, which you’re glad for. You’re not sure how you feel about a nanny or daycare yet. Bucky’s safe and you’re very fond of safe when it comes to your baby daughter.

One of his favorite things in the world is to dress up Summer. While you usually go for the most practical pieces of clothing you find, he likes to adorn her hair with big bows, ribbons, tiaras, cute hats matching the most adorable dresses, buying her new ones almost on a daily basis. All of it very comfortable and harmless for her, of course.

She’s nine months old when Tony pulls up a small party to celebrate Pepper’s birthday. If it were up to him, he would definitely go big at the celebration, but Pepper said she preferred something small and he respected it. Well, at least as far as Tony Stark’s concept of “small” would go. He uses the pool area for the party, inviting the Avengers, a few agents from fellow organizations and a small group of friends.

This is Summer’s first real party and she looks absolutely endearing in Bucky’s arms when you three walk into the place. He’s chosen a red dress with white polka dots for her. There’s a white bowknot on the waist matching a big ribbon of the same color on her head and white little party shoes. She’s swaying her legs back and forth, as one arm rests lazily around her dad’s neck and she shifts her gaze from him to all the people who stop by to tell her what a beautiful baby she is.

Each day she looks more and more like you, but some traces are all her father’s, like her big blue eyes. But what really fills your heart with love and pride is that Summer is growing into a pretty sociable and charming kid. Everyone around her at the party gains a huge smile as a response and, if the praise really pleases her, she lets out a giggle and puts up a funny scrunched up face you’ve taught her to do. The cutest.

“Auntie Nat… Auntie Nat…” Natasha repeats in a baby voice, playing with Summer’s little hand.

“Cool down, Natasha, she’s nine months old.” Sam rolls his eyes beside her, before shaking his head at you.

“This girl is a prodigy. And, you don’t get to say anything, it’s already enough her first smile was to you.” Nat grimaces at him.

“She loves Uncle Sam, don’t you, pretty girl? Don’t you?” Sam also uses his baby voice, brushing his finger on Summer’s nose, pulling out a giggle from the happy baby and a snarl from Nat.

Her first smile was indeed aimed to Sam while he made a weird dance for her. Bucky was absolutely devastated. At least he turned out being the second person to make her smile, by imitating exactly what Sam was doing. However, for Steve’s dismay and many of the others, her undeniably favorite uncle is Thor with all the lightning magic he pulls for her, even if he doesn’t show up as much as the others. She loves all her uncles and aunties, though, dearly, which she should for being so spoiled by all of them.

“Come on, stop it. She loves all of you, guys…” You intercede. You can’t resist and pop a loud kiss on your daughter’s soft and chubby cheek.

“But no more than she loves her daddy, of course.” Bucky pecks her other one and you two end up trapping the baby girl between a series of tiny kisses.

“Oh, God, that’s too sweet, I’m gonna get sick…” Sam makes a face, but smiles anyway and you pull your tongue out, “Ok. I’m going to take a look around,” He says, after chuckling at the three of you.

“Me too,” Nat says, “Are you guys sitting down here?” She asks, pointing at the nearest table.

You’ve just arrived, but haven’t really still settled. When the favorite little person of the team gets in the place, there’s a lot of stops on your way so everyone can say hello and gush praises on her.

“Uhm, yeah,” You answer, before addressing to Bucky, “What about we sit for a moment, then we can take Summer to play a bit and watch the kids.” You point to the playground where a number of recreation workers entertain the children.

“Yeah, sounds good.” Bucky agrees, already pushing stroller with his free hand towards the table.

After Nat and Sam leave and the three of you set yourselves on the round table, Wanda approaches and somehow manages to steal Summer from Bucky’s arms, sitting down next to you and snatching the kid’s attention with red drawings in the air.

“I’m gonna go say hello to Steve and grab some food, I’m starving. Do you want anything?” Bucky asks you, already getting up.

“Oh, sure, thank you.” You’re starving too, getting ready to go out with a baby, even in the same tower you live, isn’t a walk in the park and you’ve forgotten to eat at all that morning, “Can you bring, uhm,” You twist your mouth and frown, thinking about all the goodies that can be easily found at Tony’s parties every single time, “Ooo, see if there’s lobster sliders, ugh, of course, those little fried shrimp balls, a bit of potato chips and-”

“Garlic bread.” He winks at you with a knowing smirk on his face.

A smile twists your lips widely, enticing one of his own, “Yeah, garlic bread,” You confirm, softly.

Someone clearing their throat bursts the little bubble quickly growing around you and him. This… the bubble… has been happening a lot lately. You turn to the sound’s direction to see Wanda staring at both of you, eyebrows high on her forehead, while Summer is also watching quietly you and Bucky from her lap.

“Oh, do you want anything, Wands?” Bucky asks, brushing the back of his neck.

“I’m good, thanks.” She answers with a small smile.

“Alright, be right back.” He rushes away after kissing the top of Summer’s head.

You lean to grab a bottle of water from the bucket of ice a waiter has left there when you sat.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“What do you mean?” You don’t look at Wanda, pouring some water on your glass before taking a sip.

“You and Bucky.”

“Don’t even go there, Wands. There’s no me and Bucky.” You notice Summer starting to fuss with nothing to do and reach for the bag the grab and give her a pair of maracas, her current favorite toy. She accepts it and promptly starts to swing them to the air, loving the noise it produces. You smile fondly at her.

“You’re honestly going to tell me you don’t see what’s going on?” Wanda tilts her head.

You shrug, still focusing on Summer, who keeps playing excitedly on her aunt’s lap.

“I think it’s been what?” Wanda insists with a bit of impatience seeping into her tone, “Nine months since I last saw you two separated from one another? You’re keep doing things together and for each other… I felt completely invisible here. Did he actually complete your sentence? For God’s sake, he lives in your apartment, Y.N.”

Your eyes snap up to her.

“You’re living a married life without actually being married.” Her gaze bore into yours and you can see the care in them.

You halt for a second. If you think about it, it’s true. You haven’t talked about your relationship again but you did fall into a routine of a couple. You do everything together, he’s living with you… You haven’t even thought about seeing someone else and you’re pretty sure he hasn’t either. It feels so different from before… before you left, but at the same time, it feels like nothing has changed, like you’ve never left and you still belong to each other. Except you don’t… Not really.

It’s been good this way. So good… but you would die and kill to kiss him again. Not a kiss like the one you two gave at Summer’s birth, but a passionate, devastatingly breathtaking kiss, you dream about frequently…to feel his hot skin against yours… to hold him in your sleep...

But this is you… It doesn’t mean he feels the same way and if you try anything and this isn’t what he wants or maybe what he’s ready for…

“We’re being parents, Wands.” When you finally speak is but a whisper. “We haven’t had time to think of anything other than Summer all this time. You’re right, we’ve been really…huh… attached to each other ever since she was born and it’s so worthy to be like this. I’m so happy. He’s happy. I’m afraid that…” You take in a deep breath, looking down.

“That if you try to change it, you’ll lose it. You’ll lose him.” Wanda speak your mind and you know she is not even using her powers.

You nod quietly.

“Oh, honey…”

You tighten your lips in a sad smile and shrug.

“Hey, there,” Harry’s voice catches the attention from both of you as he walks towards the table. Well, the three of you, actually, since Summer swings her little maracas even harder and puts on a beautiful and almost toothless grin for him.

After you and Wanda answer his greeting, Harry goes straight to Summer and excuses himself to grab her from Wanda’s lap, lifting her into the air, ripping out happy squeaks from the baby and fond looks from the two adults, seizing the previous subject completely. Harry and the kids have been visiting a lot ever since she was born and Summer absolutely adores them, especially the kids.

“Where’s Luna and Jon?” You ask.

“Oh, they went straight to the playground.” He answers after blowing a few raspberries on Summer’s stomach, making her squirm and giggle. “I was looking for…ahm,” He seems taken aback for a moment, shifting gazes from you to Wanda, “I haven’t seen anyone else, is, huh, everyone here, yet?”

Wanda smirks at you, before standing up, “Don’t worry, I’ll let Nat know you’re here. I’ll talk to you later, Y/N,” She taps Harry’s shoulder on her way out.

Harry’s jaw drops at her comment and he’s livid when he looks back at you, “I- why- I don’t know why she-”

“Hush, Harry,” you snicker, interrupting him while before he becomes a stuttering mess, “Come, sit here,” you tap Wanda’s vacant spot and he does as you say, a sheepish and confused look on his face, “I know.” You smile at him.

He gapes at you while he adjusts Summer on his lap and she goes back to play with her pair of maracas, “You know?” His whole face turns into crimson red and his eyes grow impossibly round.

“I do, took me a while to figure it out I admit it,” you shake your head, mocking a disappointment face at yourself, “I’m not sure how long Wanda knows but, powers or not, it’s almost impossible to hide anything from her,” you add a little bitterly given the bit of conversation you’ve just had with her.

“Oh… I thought no one knew yet.” He seems lost in his own thoughts.

“Listen, Harry,” You lean closer to him, “I understand why you two decided to keep it as a secret, but I just wanted you to know…I’ve never seen her so happy as these last few months.”

His whole face lights up and he can’t help the curl on his lips while he adjusts his glasses on his face, “R-really?”

“Really,” You nod, smiling “And I’m so damn happy for the two of you, as well. You both deserve what’s best.”

While his grin grows bigger, Summer eyes raise from her maracas to you and she drops the toy to the floor, reaching her little arms to you.

“Oh, come here, my little sun,” You promptly take her from Harry’s lap to yours. Someone misses mommy and your heart never ceases to skip a beat every time she does that.

After you kiss your daughter’s forehead and tickle her sides, she lays back comfortably against you and you go back to Harry, “You better take care of her, mister, or you’ll have to deal with one super person or two.”

“Oh no, don’t worry, I’ve only felt this way once before, and…”He says quietly, “Goddammit, I love her… I love her.” He repeats as his chest heavies.

“Oh my God, Harry.” You gasp and immediately pulls him into a hug, which he quickly responds. Two of your best friends in love- because you damn well know Nat’s in love with him too- is one hell of a huge thing and your heart fills up with pride and hope for them.

When you part from Harry, you spot a broad figure standing by the table. Summer lets out happy squeals at the sight of her father. He only takes his eyes away from Harry to smile at the baby, while managing to carry four plates filled with food on his arms.

“Oh, hey.” Harry beams, the joy of the confession still lingering on his whole demeanour.

“Hey, uhm, Wanda told me to tell you to come back to the playground and you’ll find what you’re looking for.” Bucky narrows his eyes at him.

“Oh, ok” Harry can’t hide his excitement when his gaze find yours, “Got to go, see you guys around?”

“Sure,” You nod at him, still smiling.

Once he’s gone, Bucky takes his seat beside you, disposing the plates on the table. You put Summer on the stroller, handing her a few more toys, so you two can take a little time to eat.

A few minutes later you have already devoured the lobster slider and Bucky remains silent, apart from a brooding noise or two as answers to your attempts at making conversation. He hasn’t even touched his food and just plays with it in a very evident gloomy way.

Considering Harry is a constant presence in your lives, one would think Bucky would have cooled down his initial wariness of him. And he did. He truly did. However, you notice sometimes he gets like this when you’re somehow a little too expressive with your friendly affection for Harry. You’re not sure if this is jealous and of what he could be jealous of, but you hate to see him like that.

“Hey, Bucky,” you call, absentmindedly.

He just hums to acknowledge it.

“Take a look over there.”

He gazes at you, before following the direction of your pointing finger: Nat and Harry, right across the pool, with their back to you as they watch Luna and Jon playing with the rest of the kids. Sam standing on Nat’s other side.

“What?” He frowns at you.

“Just…keep looking.”

He turns back to them and, just a few seconds later, you both watch as Nat’s hand navigates smoothly to grab one of Harry’s butt cheeks.

You laugh quietly when Bucky’s jaw drops.

“No way,” his eyes widen and he looks back at you.

“Way…Since that car accident, before Summer was born,” You inform, relishing in his astonished expression. A very similar one to the face you’ve might have had when you found out.

He lets out a loud and long laugh and his shoulder loses all the tenseness. Shaking his head in disbelief, he reaches out and grabs a piece of garlic bread from your plate to shove it in his mouth.

A small smile remains on his lips for the rest of the day while Wanda’s words echo into your mind…

What the hell are you doing?

~ ~ ~

Ch. 23 coming soon.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes series #bucky barnes angst #bucky #marvel fanfiction #bucky angst #dad!bucky

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