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stillfrownyclownlol · 5 months

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Gonna throw up If I can't talk about them-

Bunch of Aiden analysis under the cut because he's just SO OBSESSED CODED AND NOBODY TALKS ABOUT IT 😭 (I will be very weird about it)

The way it's so doomed from the start. He's already so fascinated by her. It's in the little jump he does when she sits in front of him, like a secret they're both in on, like her sitting in front of him is some obscure way of her inviting him into a conversation.

Why is he like this (not positive but not negative either)

He has such a cocktail of personality traits and, most certainly, mental disorders, and his own history that makes it so, when he's in love, that it WILL blow up in his face.

The fact that he's been homeschooled for his entire life- he has no idea. HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW. He doesnt realize that its not normal. of course he doesn't :( His parents obviously leave him alone for long stretches of time and he doesn't seem to mind this. He hasn't had the chance to develop his social skills at all-

It's why he's so, let's be real, creepy. Ash makes it very clear she's not interested and he just keeps worming his way into her life. He plots so that she'll go on the field trip, he follows her around, he goes to her fucking house on the first day. LIKE, HELLO? RED FLAG?

He's having evil thoughts here I swear 💀

And already so quickly after meeting her he makes Ash his priority. He asks to sit next to her, he engages and makes an effort to talk to her. Tries to joke around with her. Gives her a nickname. Touches her. He's so touchy.

And defends her!!! When Tyler gets pissed at Ash, he honestly goes off on him even tho he KNOWS Ash can defend herself- and he's so...dark about it. There's a threat hidden behind his words. He's MAD here, right? Tell me I'm not crazy, please-

He also very clearly has violence on the forefront of his mind 💀 He's the first one to actively attack the phantoms; not to defend himself, not to defend somebody else (well, he pulls Ash out of the way), but for fun. And he's disappointed when they don't scream. He's sadistic, he likes causing pain, it's something he relishes in.

I mean look at how he smiles!!! None of the other kids have such an...active ENJOYMENT in fighting the phantoms, but for Aiden, it's almost like he finds relief in it, some way to vent out his frustrations. He's eager for a fight, for a thrill.

That's how Aiden sustains himself, he pretty much operates under "I'm here for a good time, not a long time." Everything he does gives him a boost of adrenaline, no matter the consequences. He got into a fight? Eh, who cares about all the bruises, at least it got his blood rushing. Broke a bone while doing parkour or smth? Whatever, the way his stomach dropped when he was falling as totally worth it.

It's a very dangerous mentality to live with, obviously. He's an adrenaline junkie. He's an addict. More than anything else, Aiden wants something that makes him feel alive.

And what makes you feel more alive than love?

Like not to minimise or anything but he's known her for like. 2-3 months- and he's already SO scared of losing her. Like I just don't think he would have had this type of reaction with anybody else besides Ben. He would have absolutely lost his shit if Ash 'died'.

He's a straight up love junkie. He's obsessive. Nothing beats the high love can give you. It overrules everything else. If Ash (or whoever he's interested in) feels bad because of smth, he's done with it.

He LIKED dying. He LIKED the adrenaline rush. But he won't do it again. Not because he had some realization that he didn't want to die, that he still wanted to live and do things, but because Ash was upset. Because this, this rush of care from her part, the way she was so scared of him dying that she was shaking, nothing could fill the hole in his heart better than that. And now that he has a taste for it, he won't let go easy. He will keep on living- if it means Ash will be by his side.

Which is a very dangerous position to put her in. Ash already feels responsible for her friends, and she doesn't even know that Aiden has "put" his life in her hands, not that it's her responsibility, because it isn't, but she will certainly feel responsible if Aiden does something FOR her.

Like He's so fucking obsessed and he doesn't even realize it- like look at how he sees her 😭 THE HEAVENLY GLOOOOOOW, LIKE SHES AN ANGEL AND HE THINKS SHE CAN SAVE HIM. BABY SHE CANT, YOU HAVE TO SAVE YOURSELF.

He could spiral so fucking bad. He could do some absolutely heinous things. Because he just doesn't know. He doesn't know how to love truly, yet. For him love really is that rush of adrenaline, the knife carving out his heart, he could be putty in her hands, or her executioner. This love that can be so obsessive, that he NEEDS it to function, like its water, like its the air he breathes. Its a compulsion, a fixation, a longing that burrows into your very soul. Ash doesn't even know what she's getting herself into-

Godddddd, it makes me so sick/ pos, it's SO FUCKING INTERESTINGGGGGG. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

I literally cannot function around this drawing 🫠

The. The hand. That way he's grabbing her. He's pulling her back. Towards HIM. like "this is mine. And I'm not sharing." And that little fucking look in his eyes, he just looks SO fucking pleased with himself. And Ash looks so...resigned. they're so doomed-coded, i love them so bad.

I don't know how I was supposed to NOT make a killer au, when he's just...like that around her.

Love is a wonderful thing. But love is also cruel, it is vicious, it is possessive and obsessive, and it will leave carnage in its wake.

Romantic love is an obsession. It possesses you. You lose your sense of self. You cannot stop thinking about another human being. -Helen Fisher

#sbg #school bus graveyard #school bus graveyard webtoon #sbg (webtoon)#aiden clark #ashlyn banner #aidlyn #aiden x ashlyn #im gonna scream #rip my teeth out #idk idk #im just mentally ill about them 🫠#tw obsessive behavior

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reiderwriter · 6 months

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😝 brain rot from my character ai scenario… the team goes out to a bar to celebrate and you wear a tiny little dress (just to rile him up obvi) but you also end up attracting a lot of male attentionand he gets SO jealous and protective of you he’s like sitting off to the side just watching you flirt with everyone and the team is like “he looks like hes gonna explode wtf” and then the SMUT HES ALL “they can’t have you, you’re all mine” “you really like all the attention huh? i’ll give you what you wanted” OMG it’s making me crazy i hope i described it good enough 🥰🥰

A/N: Is it really a reiderwriter smut if I don't have to clarify that 'I got carried away' at some point in the authors note? No, it is not. Thank you for the request. My brain is now equally rotted, oops.

Warnings: complaints, dirty talk, semi public sexual activity, partial voyeurism, fingering, hard/rough sex.

You weren't even dating.

Which made the situation even more frustrating for Spencer, and even more exciting for you.

You'd always flirted with the man a lot, had been told multiple times to knock it off even after getting a little too close for comfort on a case.

But you couldn't really blame yourself on that one. You'd had to do a quick takedown at a dive bar, and you'd been tasked with pretending to be a touchy couple at the bar to block the back entrance at the staff entrance.

You'd draped yourself all over him, allowing yourself to get closer than you'd ever been before.

If you'd just happened to let your hands fall down to his crotch, it was pure coincidence. So was giving his obviously erect length a few strokes through his jeans as he sat staring at you like you were his last meal and he was back in prison.

Emily had to pull you aside after that one personally.

You knew she was protective of Spencer, seeing him as a little brother, but it seemed like she was more protective of you at that moment.

“Are you sure you know what you're doing?” She'd asked, waiting carefully for your answer before she said anything more.

Two could play at that game. “What is this concerning?”

“With Spencer.”

“I'm not sure what you mean, Emily.”

“Yes, you do. Listen, I don't care what you get up to in your personal life, but Spencer has a way of making others feel very… seen. He can get protective and pushy. And I just want to know you're ready for that, and you're not going to let it affect your work.”

“Is Spencer having the same talk?”

She laughed at that.

“Spencer? No. I already know it's going to affect his work, because it has since you joined our team. He still gets his job done, but I know where his priorities would lie if there were an emergency.”

You'd shivered at that and excused yourself.

If he was that obsessed with you, why had he not told you? Stepped over that line from friends to more than that?

You needed to force the issue, and you had the perfect opportunity when Penelope invited you out for drinks.

“Y/N! Don't go, it's Friday night, we-” she said gesturing wildly to the team gathered around you, “are going to a bar. No, you can't rain check either.”

“Can I at least get changed first?”

“You need to get changed. We're going to a nice bar, Y/N.” Running off again to grab the rest of your team members and force their attendance, you grinned after Penelope.

It was time to see exactly how focused on you Spencer Reid was.

And how willing he was to let you slip through his fingers.

An hour later, you were stepping out of your taxi, pulling your skirt down as you did. The short black dress had a terrible habit of pulling up your thighs to flash your underwear at anyone in a 10 foot radius. Usually, that bothered you, but tonight, you planned on using it to your advantage.

After all, you'd left out the underwear tonight for a reason.

Pulling your jacket around you tighter, you pushed the door to the bar open and scanned the room for your team members.

“Y/N, over here!” Tara called you over, nursing a beer. Luke sat next to her, Penelope on his other side, and Matt on hers and completing the group was Spencer Reid.

“Where are JJ and Emily?” You asked, doing your very best to ignore Spencer as you sat down next to him, practically falling into his warmth. You sat so close to him.

“At the bar. Emily is convinced she can flirt her way to a free drink, and JJ is convinced she cannot. The girl she's working on now has to be 22 at most, so it could honestly go either way.” Penelope answered, and you felt Spencer shift slightly beside you.

“Speak of the devil,” Luke said as the two women approached.

“Well? What's the result?” You grinned up at them, letting your head fall back against Spencer’s shoulder as you gently rested your hand on his thigh. He sat silently for a minute, not moving and just taking in the conversation.

“I've still got it.” Emily grinned triumphantly.

“Maybe I should give it a try. There are a few hot male bartenders tonight. Who knows, I might score more than just a drink.”

Spencer choked on the drink he was sipping as you spoke quickly, a few knowing looks passing between every other person at the table. You'd have to be blind to miss it. Or Spencer.

“Spencer, are you okay? You should be careful, I wouldn't want you to choke. That's how I want to end my night, but it's not for everyone.” That one earned you a few snickers from the others and a glare from the man himself.

“I'm fine, thank you, Y/N.” He smiled down at you and gave your knee a friendly tap that turned slightly less friendly as he pushed it further up your leg.

The others had since averted their attentions, moving their conversation onto other things, but you and Spencer were still stuck in each other's orbits.

Your heart beat faster until you were sure it could be seen, raw and fit to burst out of your chest. His fingertips brushed your hem. He was seconds away from realising that you were going to get the attention you wanted that night.

Slipping just an inch up the hem, he twitched almost imperceptibly as he searched for your panty line, brows knitting when he couldn't find it.

“What's wrong, Spencer? Searching for something that isn't there?” You enjoyed watching his frown deepen as he registered your words, but you enjoyed it even more when you gently pushed his hand away as you stood.

“Well, I need a drink. Let's hope I can recreate your success, Emily.” You said, finally pushing off your jacket. The dress may have been short, but it was also low cut, burning the candle at both ends as your breasts threatened to spill over with any particularly deep breath.

“Sweet lord in heaven! You didn't come to play tonight.” Penelope exclaimed, practically applauding your body as you twirled for her and showed off the form fitting dress, giggling all the way.

“You said it was a nice bar, Penelope. I'm hoping there are also some very nice men here, too.” With a wink, you turned on your heel and strode to the bar, making sure your hips swung seductively with every step.

You couldn't immediately give in and turn to see if he was watching you when you got to the bar, though, not willing to give him the satisfaction. You were doing it all for him, but you still didn't want him to know that.

It didn't take long for men to swarm you. They came one at a time, and you entertained them each as you waited for your unnecessarily complex cocktail order to be prepared.

In the 7 minutes you'd been away from the table, you'd been approached by three separate men. They all tried lines on you, gave you their numbers and tried their best to woo you, but with Spencer’s eyes burning across your body as you leaned against the bar, you really couldn't have cared less.

Still, you leaned in, giggled in the appropriate places, and took the numbers, knowing they'd never be called.

When your cocktail was finally ready, and the last one offered to fund it for you You finally felt a hand at your back.

“That won't be necessary, thank you.” Spencer ended the conversation, handing his own card over to the bartender as he kept his hand on your back, his body crowding yours.

The man walked away in defeat, and you turned on him, sipping your drink as you refused to move away.

“Now why ruin all my fun, Spencer?”

“You're really enjoying all this attention, huh?” He said, pushing your hair behind your ear as he leaned closer to you, his next word a whisper against your skin.

“I can see your pussy from all the way back there,” he said, tugging down your skirt slightly. You weren't surprised though simply taking another sip and maintaining eye contact.

“I know.” His hand, having slipped up to your waist, tightened as his gaze dropped to your lips.

“You want everyone to see your dripping cunt? Want to let all the men here take a turn trying to catch your attention so they can slip in?” His voice was low, practically a growl as he licked his lips.

“No. I wanted to see how long it'd take you to come over and do it. By my count, that was eight minutes, correct?”

“Good girl. Just remember that you're mine. I'm not letting anyone else have you.” Giving your face a gentle stroke, he let it trail down your body, subtly cupping and squeezing your chest on the way down.

“All of a sudden, I feel very tired, Spencer. Take me home.” He wasted no time, grabbing your hand and gathering you up, your jacket and bag collected from the desk as he gave minimal answers to the others as you departed. To their credit, they asked minimal questions.

The cold air hit you hard as you pushed the doors open again, but Spencer was unperturbed, pulling you over to his car silently, a strong hand on your shoulder helping you into the passenger's seat.

You dare not talk the entire drive to his apartment, so sure that any word from you would have him turning immediately to deposit you right back at the bar.

He didn't, though, but he also didn't look at you or touch you. You sat squirming at the heavy atmosphere, suddenly desperate to know exactly what thoughts were trapped inside Spencer’s impressive brain.

“We're here.” He announced, pulling up quickly and cutting the engine, climbing out in a hurry.

You fumbled with your own seat belt as he pulled your door open, catching you up in his arms as he closed the door behind you. You wrapped your legs around his waist as your arms wrapped around his neck, letting him carry you up the stairs to his apartment.

His lips didn't meet yours until the door was firmly closed and locked behind you, and even then, he didn't immediately dive in. He out you down, and a touch of disappointment flooded your body as he completely entangled himself from you.

It dissipated completely when his hand wrapped around your throat.

“Let me be clear, Y/N. You are mine. If you want attention, I will give it to you. If you want to choke on something, I'm more than happy to provide it. If you want to dress like a little whore, go ahead, but don't forget who your sweet little cunt belongs to.” His fingers tightened with each word as you gasped for air, back resting on the nearest wall as his body pressed up along your own.

“Do you understand?” He asked, and you nodded repeatedly, fast and desperate.

“Good. Now, ass up on the bed. I'll meet you there.” You practically sprinted to the room in question, slinking up onto the bed. He said ass up, but you hesitated slightly as he quietly shut the bedroom door behind you, just long enough to earn a slap on your ass as he finally returned to your side.

“You have to listen, Y/N. You wanted this, so you have to listen nicely.”

“I'm sorry, Spencer, it won't happen aga-” He stole the end of your sentence as he slipped his fingers into you, gently working the two longest ones up into a frenzy as he finger fucked you.

“Sorry, what was that? I don't think I quite caught your words.” You could only moan in reply as you buried your head in his pillows, ass pressing back into his fingers to help him get deeper.

“So needy. Look at this little black dress. You knew this was going to happen, right?” A third finger slipped inside you, and you screamed out in pleasure as he continued using you.

“Burying your head isn't going to work, Y/N. Your cunt is answering for you.”

You heard the rattle of his belt unbuckling as his fingers finally slipped out, the emptiness only a relief for a second before his cock was hitting deep inside of you.

Thoughts escaped you as you finally got what you'd been begging for for weeks. His every frustration was pounded into you as he tugged at your hair, pulling your torso up so he could hit even deeper.

Pulling back your head with a hand on your throat he laid a barrage of kisses across your upper back and shoulders, making sure to bite and suck and nip as his spare hand toyed with your nipples, pinching and pulling.

In a second, you reached your climax, not having the breath left in you to let him know before you tightened on his shaft and let your body fall limp under his hands.

“I'm going to mop up our cum with this dress, Y/N, and then I'm going to make you put it back on.” With a final grunt, he pulled out, jerking his cock through his release as he shot his load right over your pussy lips.

He collapsed on top of you, and you finally gave up your last bit of strength beneath him, enjoying the pressure of his weight pushing down on you again.

“Thank god that worked,” you gasped, catching your breath. You smiled as he flipped you over and pulled the dress off your head, true to his word.

“What worked, Y/N?”

“This. You don't know the lengths I'd have gone to to get you yo finally fuck me if this hadn't worked.”

“But suddenly, I'm curious, and I have all the time in the world.” You laughed lightly but snuggled into his chest again, meaning to sleep.

“Unless you want to get dressed again now…?”

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid smut #mgg #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fandom #spencer reid x self insert #spencer reid x reader smut #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfiction

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sunny44 · 1 year

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I can’t do this anymore

Pairing: Carlos Sainz x wife!reader

Warnings: fights and mentions of divorce.

Summary: Y/n is tired of living in a marriage where she is the only one who puts him as a priority.

Next chapter

I knew that marriages were not easy, and I also knew that it would be hard to be married to a guy who spends most of the year away from home.

Carlos and I met when we were 20, dated for 5 and have been married for 3, we have never had any problems that would make me think about not being with him anymore.

But lately this thought has been haunting me and silently torturing me.

We are already at a stage in our relationship where we should be thinking about having a family, or are already trying to.

Actually I was thinking about it but it seems that Carlos wants to avoid this thought at all costs.

I try to bring him into a conversation and he cuts me off, changes the subject or even says that he can't be a father right now.

This weekend was the race in Spain and me and his family were here cheering for him.

"Are you okay honey?" His mother asks.

"Yeah, just a little nauseous." At the same time she smiles.

"Honey that's great, I knew you and Carlos were at that part of the relationship but I didn't think it was this close."

"No, no I'm not pregnant." Her smile fades. "I wanted to but I'm not and I don't think I will be for a long time."

"What do you mean?"

"It's nothing." I try to deflect the subject.

"Come on, let's get some coffee." I sigh and go with her.

After we buy the coffees and find a quieter place and she returns to the subject.

"Is something going on with you and Carlos? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, or at least I think so."

"Do you want to tell me?"

"It's just that we've been together for many years now and I thought by this point in our relationship we'd be planning to have a family and everything but Carlos doesn't seem very interested in that." I took a sip of my coffee. "I guess we are at different points in our lives."

"And that worries you doesn't it?"

"It's just that Carlos has putting his career first more than anything right now and I know how important it is to him and that's not a problem for me, it never has been. It's just that at the end of it all what we have in life is our family and I don't want to have to wait any longer for him to decide he wants to before we get started."

"I'm sorry about that." I smiled and wiped my tears away.

"It's okay." She smiles and we remain silent.

…

We were already back at home, Carlos had come in second place and obviously wasn't one of the happiest but he wasn't unhappy either.

"Can we talk?" I asked sitting down next to him on the couch.

"I'm tired now."

"But you're not to watch soccer aren't you." I said ironically starting to get up but he held my hand and turned off the TV.

"Okay, I'm sorry. Let's talk."

"We're fine aren't we?"

"Of course we're fine, why are you asking that?”

"Because I feel like every time I go to talk to you about our family or the lack of it you cut me off and change the subject and that makes me feel like you don't want or you don’t want with me."

"Love is not that." He comes closer and wipes a tear that has run down my cheek. "It's not that I don’t want to have a family with you but we can't right now."

"What do you mean we can't now?"

"It's just that I really feel like I have a chance to win this year and I can't have any distractions." At this I laughed wryly.

"Distractions? Is that what I am to you? A fucking distraction." I get up from the couch. "I’m sorry Carlos that I'm a distraction to you and that me thinking about our future is something that bothers you so much, but I'm not going to stand here and let my life pass me by just because you don't want to have a family."

"What does that mean?"

"That I can't do this anymore." He got up from the couch. "I don't want to wait around anymore waiting for you to decide whether or not to have children because I want to, I want to be a mother, I want to leave something in this world after I die and I'm not going to wait around for you anymore."

"What are you saying?"

"I want a divorce."

"What? Babe don’t say that."

"I've already made up my mind Carlos. I've been thinking about it for a while and I didn't want this because I love you so much but you're leaving me no other option." He tries to get close to me but I pull away. "I'm going to get my things and go to my parents house and I'm going to start divorce proceedings as soon as possible."

I didn't even let him speak, I just went upstairs to our room and grabbed a suitcase and started putting some things inside.

When I came downstairs he was sitting on the couch in shock.

"I'll get the rest of my stuff another time." He doesn't even look at me and I even think he heard well so I just walked out leaving my whole life behind.

And that's when I realized that the worst feeling is when you don't want to give up on someone but you know you have to.

Let me know if you guys are interested in a part 2

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motheatenscarf · 5 months

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Amidst all the James Somerton fallout, I think it's important to remember not to moralize whether or not you or others fell for his grift.

Obviously, if you were rallied into being one of his attack dogs on social media when he put some pretty heinous hits out on people, uh. You might have other problems and should probably evaluate how you spend your time online and how you treat other people before you start caring about the rest of the points I'm about to make. Priorities, etc.

But for the rest of us, it's surprisingly easy to miss just how awful a creator can be.

If you only watched his videos that caught your interest, if you don't really follow creators on social media, if you skip livestreams because watching Some Guy talk unfiltered into a bad camera angle with shitty lighting for hours on end sounds like a fucking nightmare to you, you're not really gonna catch most of this shit. At least, you're not gonna catch most of it from any perspective but the one he tries to spin.

This is a reminder to be skeptical and to trust your gut and check sources if something sounds wrong, but also. Uh. That's still the creator's responsibility not to plagiarize and to fact check their work. You're not morally obligated to be as thorough in curating your experience as someone who is making sure they take every ethical precaution before absolutely destroying a "creator's" credibility in a video like H-Bomb's or Todd in the Shadows'. You're literally just some guy. Most people, myself included, watch these videos as background noise while doing at minimum one other task, you're not gonna google every damn thing he says, especially not on media analysis, where the POINT is to have one's own opinion. THEY'RE the ones trying to be "influencers," or, laughably, "creators." The standards are on them.

And for the isms, phobias, and misogyny, well. Frankly, for my own perspective, I gaslight myself all the damn time when I see red flags. Good Allyship™ has been telling me for years to ignore my own discomfort when someone criticizes a privileged group, especially one I'm a part of. I'm a cis asexual white-passing and probably neuroatypical woman, I am constantly trying to be aware of my own relative privilege while simultaneously doubting my own reaction to things. Despite this, I'd still liked to think I'm a skeptical person, but nobody's immune to everything. Everybody has weak spots.

If you got duped or fell for James' scam, that sucks. I feel ya. I fell for it too, I've seen probably 40% of his catalog over the last couple years and really liked what I'd seen. I recommended his channel and videos to people even if I didn't always agree with every point he made, but it felt important to at least consider what to me seemed like a unique perspective that had value or added to a conversation. There are red flags within his content, his analysis, his rate of publishing, his weird diatribes, that in retrospect, really all added up into things I should have known better than to ignore. But, for reasons I'm interrogating and am adding to my list of things to be aware of about myself, I didn't ignore them, and got grifted. I donated to his patreon a few times, probably gave him like $20 grand total over the years, about as much as I've given H Bomb. The important take away here isn't to be ashamed of the fact that you were fooled, it's to remember that you're fallible.

And it's good to recognize that about yourself. Everyone is, and the ones who say they aren't are lying. They're either gonna be the next person to feel really stupid and foolish when they fall for a scam, or are themselves the grifter.

No one is immune.

#James Somerton

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lovelyspooks · 1 year

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Want you to be okay

I've been falling asleep to this scenario for weeks because I love hurting my feelings and I need to write it down fr

Peter Parker x reader (no specific gender, they/them pronouns)

word count - 1.6k

Warnings - fluff (at the start) but then angst with no comfort, uncommunicated feelings, shi ion know what else to say

You're Peter Parkers main priority, he makes sure you know that but lately you feel second best to the city you both love

It had been three weeks since you had seen your boyfriend.

You had seen him in class and in the hallways at school yes, and you had had the odd few conversations but you hadn't really seen him at all

Every time you made plans something would come up. Something Spider-Man related.

"sorry bug but I can't make it"

"somethings come up... Reschedule?"

"I promise I'll make it up to you" - the latest apology ditch, you stared at your phone sitting on your bed. This was the third time Peter bailed on you this week.

You were supposed to go to this new Spider-Man themed restaurant that popped up virtually out of nowhere. It was supposed to be a laugh, to take time to make up for the last month of distance but of course stupid new York needed saving. Again.

At first you were understanding, I mean new York is big and Peter is one man, of course he's busy. But as of recently it seems like Peter is doing everything in his power to not spend time with you.

"No, he loves spending time with me" You say to yourself but you can't help but feel your trying to convince yourself rather than state a fact .

You shake your head as you get unready to watch Netflix until Peter inevitably crawled through you window with a new injury you'd had to stitch

You were demanding too much, your boyfriend is here risking his life every night and you're complaining you don't get to see him enough. It was selfish. So as much as you wanted to say something, you stayed quiet

You knew you couldn't keep your feelings bottles up, that at some point you would explode, but until then you played the understanding partner

You changed into a clean set of pyjamas and turned on your small TV that sat across your room. An hour turned to two that turned to three and before you knew it, it was three in the morning.

Giving up on waiting for your boyfriend, you drifted to sleep, careful to leave space for him on your bed.

***************

The next day you woke up to the familiar feeling of heat on your back. Peter had finally come to your window at some point and you couldn't help but feel guilty not being awake when he got there

Somehow sensing you're awake, Peter spoke first.

"hi" he croaked into your neck, obviously he hadn't slept at all last night

"you should've woke me up Pete" you scold as you turn to face the boy you've missed so much, checking his exposed skin for any wounds

"didn't want to disturb you bub" he smiles as he moves his hand to your cheek, caressing it

"that's besides the point" you can't help but smile at your boy, you were supposed to be mad at him for not showing up but when he looks at you with his adorable brown eyes, it's hard to stay mad

"I'm sorry I couldn't make it last night" his eyes softened with obvious guilt as his hand continues to hold your cheek

You sigh as you sit up "it's alright Pete, you've got a job to do, the people need Spider-Man"

"yeah but you need Peter just as much" Peter sits up too and places a hand on your knee

"it's okay Pete, I promise, we can just go another day" you spoke reassuringly at the boy

Peter can tell you're upset but drops the subject

"well... I haven't got anything to do today, and neither do you so does tonight sound good?" Peter cocks his head to the side as he asks and you swear you could die at the sight

"I don't know Pete... Something might come up" you try your best to keep a straight face but fail as Peter smiles wide and attacks your face with his loving kisses

You missed this.

SKIP TO LATER THAT DAY

You were waiting outside the restaurant you and Peter picked out, the reviews were scarce but it was Spidey themed, so you picked it anyways

The agreed time was 8pm but you had shown up early just in case Peter had the same idea but it had been half an hour and Peter still hasn't shown up

You checked your phone in case you didn't hear it go off and Peter sent a text that he was on his way but no, no new texts.

You huff as you tap your foot on the pavement below you .

He'll show. He promised.

After another 30 minutes you came to the realisation that Peter had either forgotten or was dead in an alley somewhere and for his sake, you hoped it was the second one

Lost in your train of thought you were interrupted by a not so happy voice

"excuse me, we're closing" a small girl around your age tells you. She's peeked her head out of the entrance door, tired eyes begging you not to argue and comply

"I'm waiting for my boyfriend..." you check the time. Its been 3 hours

You go to open your mouth but the girl simply shoes her head "you can wait, just don't waste your time waiting in someone who won't show" she smiles pitifully and heads back inside

Just as she leaves you feel raindrops fall onto you. Great.

You sigh as you make your way home embarrassed with your head hung low.

**********

It's been an two hours since you made it home and Peter still hadn't called

You've left him hundreds of messages and voice mails, begging to know if he's alive but no answer

It was 2 am when you heard the familiar noise of your bedroom window opening, a cheerful Peter walks into your room and you feel your rage building up

"where were you? I thought you were dead!" you hiss as you leap out of bed

You watch as Peters face falls, noticing your tear stained cheeks he Remembers your date

"shit, baby I'm so sorry, i forgot" he rushes over to you and rises his hands to cup your cheeks but your swat him away

"you forgot? Peter it's been 5 hours! You can't pick up your phone now?" Peters heart clenches at the fact you only care about his safety and not the fact he ditched you again

"it died, baby I'm so sorry" he tries to touch you again but you move back

"don't touch me" your words are daggers to his heart as you stare at him with disgust

"I've been trying to be understanding Peter... For a month I've let you bail on me again and again and again" you start, your eyes well up with tears

"baby you know I don't do it on purpose, it's just-"

"New York needs you. I know Peter, it all I've been telling myself! But you said it yourself just this morning that I need you too!" the dam breaks as tears fall down your face

When Peter doesn't say anything you can only bring yourself to scoff. You walk out of your room and make your way to the kitchen, Peter right behind you

"What do you want me to say? Sorry i missed our date because i was out saving lives?" you turn on your heels to look at Peter in disbelief

"Don't you dare turn this on me Parker!" Parker. You only call him that when you can't see the person you love when you speak, only the one who's pissing you off

"Well it seems like that's what you want!" Peter raises his arms and slaps them at his sides, he just couldn't understand

You both stood in silence for a while, neither of you knowing what to say

"This isn't working Peter" You sigh as you rest your hands on the kitchen counter.

"What?" Peters heart sinks at your words. You can't be serious can you? No. This is all some joke, Peter knew he messed up forgetting about your date but you weren't seriously going to break up with him were you?

"What are you talking about? Baby I said sorry, can't we just move on?" Peter clung to the possibility of you forgiving him and going back to how things were, before he messed up

"This is exactly what I'm on about! You just don't get it do you?" You stare at Peter only to see a confused face

"It's not just about tonight Pete, it's about all the times you've bailed to go on patrol, half the time you don't even tell me! And what am I supposed to think hm? I'm up all night wondering if you're alive and then you waltz in here like nothing happened with another injury!" You were exhausted and wanted to sleep but you need Peter to understand

"you knew what you was getting yourself in to when we started dating y/n. I told you it wouldn't be easy"

"Well I guess I thought I'd have my boyfriend to help me didn't I?"

"That's not fair"

"Just go Peter" you sigh as you cross your arms

"No." He argues back

"I said go!" you walk to him and push his chest as hard as you can. Peter doesn't even stumble as he looks at you with tears in his eyes

"Go! Go! Go!" you push him with each word, tears streaming down your face

Before you can shout another word Peter takes a step back

"If you really want me to leave, fine just..." He tries to think of something to say, a final plead, anything to make you wrap your arms around him again

"I love you." he whispers out, to his disappointment you stare at him, teary eyed as you bite your lip

Peter pulls his mask as he turns to walk away but no before giving you one last pleading look

When you say nothing, Peter lets out a shaky breath as he leaves. As he swings away he can't help but listen in to you coke out smuffled sobs

He did this to you.

#peter parker #peter parker angst #peter parker x reader #tasm!peter parker x reader #spooky’s work~

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kiki-writes-stuff · 3 months

Text

𝐓𝐞𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮

𝐓𝐞𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 : fluff

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : none

𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐥: please note that I'm a manhwa only, so my perception of the boys is based solely on what we've seen up till chapter 60 of the manhwa and researching their wiki pages and mbtis (studied for it like a damn test omg 😭).

a/n: this was inspired by this fic by @starry-nights-garden, ik ya'll are here for testar and not ateez, but they're an amazing author so if you happen to be an atiny do check them out!

𝐁𝐚𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐣𝐢𝐧:

Always puts you first

This may seem like something to be expected in any healthy relationship, but our little baby hamster takes it to a whole other level

He’s very shy and hesitant at first

But once he gets comfy with you and gains a little more confidence in his understanding of you and your needs…

Ooooooh boy you better prepare yourself

You mention in passing that you’re bored? He’s already running through his schedule in his head to try and find an opening so he can swing by your place with a list of activities he thinks you might enjoy

Something happened to upset you? He’s all ears, will find a way to slip out of practice just so he can videocall you and listen to you vent to get it out of your system

You miss him? He’s honestly upset with himself for not realising he’s neglected you sooner, immediately drops whatever he can to make time for you

I still feel like he’d overthink and second guess himself a lot tho :(( always worries that maybe he isn’t giving you what you need, or that he’s too much or too little :((

So please give this baby lots of smiles and assurance! He needs to know that he’s reading your cues right, and that what he’s doing genuinely makes you happy

Because your happiness is always his top priority

𝐑𝐲𝐮 𝐂𝐡𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐰𝐨𝐨

Taking care of you

Now, one thing I’ve noticed about our boy Chungwoo is that he’s got a really strong sense of responibility and obligation, and I’m sure that’s something that would carry into the way he treats his partner

He sees it as his duty to make sure that you’re safe and comfortable at all times

The kinda guy to treat sidewalk and door rules like Law

If anything’s bothering you he makes it his personal mission to fix the problem

Which causes some friction at the beginning of your relationship because sometimes he can be a bit much about it

Like offering slightly unsolicited and overly practical advice

That friend’s been giving you a hard time? Just ditch em cuz they obviously don’t deserve someone as amazing as you 🙄😮‍💨

Or blaming himself and getting frustrated if he can’t do anything to help fix the problem

But eventually you talk it out, and once you assure him that it isn’t his job to make everything okay, and that he already helps you so much by being there to support you, he concedes and learns to be more chill about it

Still gets upset when you’re upset

But he knows to channel it in healthier ways now

Like helping you out with little chores when you’re stressed, checking in and offering to take care of more tedious things like laundry and groceries when he can

He never asks for anything in return because it’s HIS job to look after YOU

But is still absolutely not so secretly over the moon whenever you reciprocate that energy

Kicking his feet and giggling kinda happy that one time you dropped by the practice room to bring him lunch (bonus points if you made it yourself!)

𝐒𝐞𝐨𝐧 𝐀𝐡𝐲𝐞𝐨𝐧:

Little things

My baby 🥺💕

My sweet precious little faerie prince 🥹✨️🌸

He’s gentle and soft in the way he loves you

But dear god it could not be less subtle

Will bring you these random little gifts

Usually food (snacks, chocolates, coffee, milkshakes, muffins)

But sometimes it’s just things that reminded him of you

Like a stuffed animal that looked just like you, a sticker sheet in your favorite color, a keychain of a character you love, a postcard with a picture that made him think of you

Sends you texts throughout the day too

Pictures of flowers, the sky, a book he thinks you might like, a cute cat he saw on the way to the studio, a selfie Eugene forcibly took with him

Little reminders to eat, stay hydrated, “The weather report says it’ll be a bit colder than usual and that it might rain today, please make sure you dress warmly and bring an umbrella with you!”

Will randomly ramble about how much he loves you when he thinks knows you’re asleep or busy so you won’t read the texts till later

“I saw this quote on pinterest earlier today about how ‘intimacy is safety’ and I just wanted to tell you that that’s what you are to me. I always feel safe and comfortable when I’m with you, like there’s no one else in the world but us and I don’t have to worry about saying the right words or being misunderstood because I know our hearts are both fluent in silence, and as soon as I’m with you I’m home.”

He thinks of these things when he’s with you tbh, like when you’re having coffee together and he watches the way you laugh and scrunch your nose when you smile

But he’s worried that if he tries to say it it’ll come out wrong :((

So he sets the feeling aside and it ends up accumulating into this neverending well of love and affection that he just HAS to let out somehow

So, basically, you’re on his mind 24/7 and he needs you to know that

You’re such a wonderful person ofc you deserve to know how loved you are :((

And so does he!! He’ll get all shy and squirm a bit whenever you tell him how much he means to you, or when you lean your head on his shoulder and thread your fingers through his own

But he’s smiling and blushing

If he’s feeling brave he’ll bring your hand up to his lips and kiss your knuckles

Adbhsafwilfhawliu I’m just so soft for him I’m sorry

𝐋𝐞𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐣𝐢𝐧:

Makes you laugh

There’s nothing he loves more than hearing you absolutely lose it

Even if you say you sound like dying frogs trapped in a windshield wiper

Will insist that it’s the prettiest sound he’s ever heard

He’s lying, it’s not

But it makes him so happy to hear you so what does it matter?

The way your ears turn red and your face flushes as you try to hide it in a pillow or your hands

Or better yet his shoulder or chest

Sejin absolutely has physical touch as a love language

His favorite thing is the way you cling to him when you laugh

Even if it means you hit him a few times in the process

Because sometimes a lot of the time once you’ve calmed down you don’t really move

You stop putting all your weight on him sure

But you stay tucked into his side and he gets to put an arm around you and look at the way your eyes are still sparkling and your lips are pulled into this giant grin

Bonus points if you’re shorter than him and he can look down at you without you really noticing

Our boy is whipped

But not whipped enough to spare you from tickle fights

If you’re a ticklish person he can and will use that to his advantage

There have been one or two occasions where it got really intense and someone hit the other person in the nose or kneed them in the stomach

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐞:

Makes time for you

Listen

This boy is literally singing and dancing for his LIFE okay

He’s a twenty nine year old in the body of a 20 year old with the soul of a sixty seven year old man

He doesn’t have time for all this trivial nonsense

…………….

Unless ofc you wanna go to that cute cafe you mentioned last week

Or that movie you really wanted to see is coming out this Friday

And yk if you really must have that spa day where you spend hours doing his nails and putting on face masks….

Who is he to deny you?

Sometimes his poker face does bother you

You’ll be rambling about something or enthusiastically making plans

When you suddenly realise he hasn’t said anything in a while

You feel bad and backtrack, apologising and saying you’re probably boring him or rushing into plans when he’s already so busy with performances and practice and whatnot

He actually looks surprised

Quickly tells you you have nothing to be sorry for, he loves listening to you talk :((

And he’ll set aside time so you guys can go do the thing, ofc he will when you’re so excited about it >:((

He’s so matter of fact and blunt about it that there isn’t much room for doubt, and you’re back to happily telling about whatever it is that’s got your interest this week

Except this time, if you’re really paying attention

There’s this tiny smile resting contentedly on his face

Everything else can wait just a bit, just for a little while longer

𝐂𝐡𝐚 𝐄𝐮𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐞:

Is your personal hype man!!

Eugene is one of the most passionate people in any universe, and he’s pretty straightforward when it comes to voicing his thoughts

So there’s no way he’s not the most vocal partner ever

Whatever it is, whether you’re hitting an important academic/professional milestone or working hard for a personal goal, he’s right there cheering you on

Will catch you off guard sometimes though

Like he’ll suddenly get all serious, and tell you in the most sincere tone of voice you could imagine that he’s really proud of you

Before grinning and grabbing your hands

Will swing them back and forth while talking about how lucky he is to have such an amazing s/o

One of his favorite things is when you’re trying to choose an outfit for something and he gets a personal fashion show

He’s not really all that into fashion himself but he loves seeing all the outfits you come up with

Applauds and wolf whistles every time you step out

Except when he doesn’t

There have been times where he goes quiet and says he doesn’t like an outfit

Confuses you because excuse?? You KNOW it looks good on you???

After some interrogation he grudgingly admits that it does look amazing on you… He just doesn’t want anyone else to see you in it

He knows you’re a grown adult who can wear whatever they want wherever they want

But he still gets just a little bit jealous

You’re so gorgeous he can’t help it :((

After some cheek kisses and assurance he’s all good tho

10/10 would have an album on his phone that’s just pictures of you

𝐊𝐢𝐦 𝐑𝐚𝐞𝐛𝐢𝐧:

Includes you

My precious bby pt.2 🥹✨️

Now, we all know that Raebin is our little producer genius and very much introverted

So when inspiration strikes and he’s caught up in the thick of it, he can sort of retreat into his own little world

And when he’s all tired from being around the other members and fans all day

He loves having you there with him

You don’t have to be doing anything in particular together, definitely don’t have to be talking (he loves you but his social battery can only take so much)

He just wants to know you’re close :((

He won’t be the one to instigate, but his brain fizzles into static noise for a second or two if you pull up a chair beside him (which is in there especially for you btw) and curl up next to him

Doing work on your laptop, reading a webtoon on your phone, or reading a book

You make eye contact when he looks over and you guys share a small smile :((

He’s so happy that you’re comfortable enough in his space to treat it as your own

Does the same if he’s in your space

You could be sitting on your bed and he’ll sleepily shuffle into your room

If he’s awake enough he might stand just inside the door and knock a bit on the doorframe just to get your permission before walking in

But if he’s real tired and you guys have been together for a while baby feels so comfy and safe he briefly forgets manners and propriety and walks right in

Flops onto the bed beside you and lays his head on your tummy or thigh depending on how you’re sitting

Falls asleep almost instantly if you start running your fingers through his hair

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orcasoul · 9 months

Text

Oh Baby!

Summery: Pedro Pascal and reader are in a relationship. Pedro's career is sky rocketing and reader also has a demanding job. Throw in an unexpected pregnancy and well...... shit!

Warnings: Swearing, Pedro being and not being an asshole (you'll see). Use of Y/N.

Italics indicate inward thinking.

Gripping the edges of the bathroom sink, you take slow, deep breaths to steady your breathing, while your mind is going into overdrive. Your chest feels tight and your legs are like jelly. Slowly you raise your head to stare at you reflection in the mirror. You don't even feel like yourself right now, almost like you're having an out of body experience. Reality suddenly feels foreign to you, like you're trapped in a surreal dream. But this is no dream. It's real, oh it's definitely real. The two red lines on the four pregnancy tests sitting on the under sink cabinet can attest to that! "Shit," you mutter quietly, still looking at yourself in disbelief. "This can't be happening." It wasn't supposed to happen . You'd been on the pill for two years and always used extra protection if you had antibiotics. You were always so careful, but careful obviously wasn't careful enough. How would you even begin to tell Pedro that you're carrying his baby? How would he react? Your mind keeps replaying one specific interview of his you'd seen. "I don't even have kids. And I'm not gonna!" His words exactly.

He'd mentioned to you once that his hectic work schedule doesn't allow time for kids, and honestly it wasn't high on your priority list either. Your job as an editor is very demanding and sometimes trickles into your home life. Both you and Pedro had grown accustom the stresses and scarifies you've both had to make over the past couple of years when it comes to your jobs, but you'd both made it work and were happy and comfortable together. But adding a baby into the mix just seemed impossible. You try to remember your last period but you'd been so busy with work lately that you hadn't even noticed you'd missed..... shit, two! Two periods. It was only the past few days of constant queasiness and dizzy spells that led you to suspect what you'd hoped wouldn't be true. But here you are, the "truth" staring right back at you. "Oh my god," you whimpered while rubbing your hands over your face, "Fuck, what now?!"

You try your best to keep it together but you can't contain the rush of different emotions that are encompassing you at this moment and the tears begin to fall. It's exhausting trying to process everything you're feeling; fear and uncertainty but also a gravitation and protectiveness you've never felt before. This baby was certainly not planned and you couldn't deny that you wished the tests were negative, but knowing that it's definitely there has awakened an instinct in you that has always been present but dormant, just waiting to be unleashed. How is it possible to want and not want it at the same time? Will Pedro want it? Will he be mad? Pedro had been away for two weeks filming for a new advert and had a photo shoot straight after so he'd be away for another two weeks, at least. You both video called each other every day. You'd always looked forward to it but the thought of today's impending call left your stomach in knots! There was no way you could tell him something so life changing over the phone. You'd just have to keep it yourself until he gets home and try your best to act normal when talking to him.

It turns out pretending nothing had changed wasn't that difficult for the next week. Maybe it was because of the distance and the fact that you could make up an excuse to end the call when your anxiety began to creep in. But in one week's time he'd be home and you know it'll be harder to act nonchalant around him, especially now that your lower belly has started to swell slightly. Slight enough that you could blame it on junk food if he noticed, but it's only going to get bigger. After a long day at work, you finally get to relax for the evening, settling down to watch one of your favourite shows. Leaning back into the settee you found yourself gently smoothing your palm over the curve of your abdomen, wondering just how much would change in the coming months and how Pedro would take the news. You still struggled to get your head around it yourself but now that you've had time to think, you know there's no way you'd get rid of it, no matter what happened. Well, I have one more week to figure out how I'm going to tell him, you ruminate..... or so you thought.

"Y/N I'm home." Pedro called out as the front door slammed shut. You shot up off the settee faster than a rocket as Pedro walked into the living room with a wide grin. You stood frozen to the spot as he dropped his bags and rushed over to you, picking you up in a tight hug. With the fervour of a man touch starved he kissed you as if he hadn't kissed you in years, deep and sultry. You instantly dissolve into his mouth, wrapping your arms around his neck. "Wow," you whispered breathlessly as you pull away to look into his eyes. "Missed me that much, huh?" You teasingly ask, trying to sound as though your heart isn't beating a million miles an hour. "What do you think?" he relied with a smirk, setting you back down. "How are you home so soon?" You hope your question did come across the wrong way. Of course you're thrilled that he's home. You always loved it when he returned home earlier than expected, and it happened so rarely that usually you'd be on cloud nine, but this one time you wished you had that week. A week where you could prepare for every eventuality. "We were ahead of schedule for once. I thought I'd surprise you instead of calling ahead." Your silent stare made Pedro chuckle, his soft eyes creasing at the corners. "That surprised, are you?"

You suddenly realise how off your reaction must seem to him and quickly collect yourself before he can think any more of it. "I just wasn't expecting you so soon. Great surprise though!" you smile genuinely as you tip toe to kiss the end of his nose. "I really missed you. How was it?" "Oh you know, early mornings, late nights, hours of hair and make up, retake after retake, blah blah blah....," Pedro trailed off while waving his hand in the air dismissively. "How have you been sweetheart?" He asked while stroking down the curve of your back. I've missed you like hell." "Yeah I've.... I've been fine. Works been fine." Your voice ever so slightly, nervously shook at his question, making you cringe inwardly but luckily he didn't seem to notice your change in tone. "Well, you go unpack and I'll make us something to eat," you offered, trying to keep your composure, even though you felt like a deer caught in headlights. As Pedro heads to the bedroom to unpack you hurry into the kitchen and pour a glass of water to quell your nerves. Not quite the same effect as alcohol, you huff inwardly.

You get to work preparing Chilean Avocado sandwiches, as it's one of Pedro's favourite foods. But after only a few seconds you are hit with a strong bought of nausea from the smell and lunge towards the sink, making it there just in time. After violently retching up what not only felt like the contents of your stomach, but also every organ in your body into the sink you are startled by a warm and gentle hand rubbing your back. "You okay, baby?" "Oh fuck!" You turn swiftly, wiping your mouth with a tea towel. "Uh... yeah... must be a virus or something. It's going around. My sister's kids had it last week." You hated lying to Pedro. Well, it was half a lie; Your nieces and nephew did have a bug last week but you know that this is definitely not a virus. Pedro looked at you with a creased brow, clearly concerned. "Why don't you go lie down? I'll take care of this," he suggested, looking over at the ingredients on the kitchen counter. When he realised you were making his one of his favourite's he turned to you with an adoring smile.

"Aww, you were making my favourite sandwich, thank you darling." "Anything for you, baby," you lovingly reply, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "I think I will go and lie down for a bit." you concede. "A bit" actually lasted until the next morning. Your body felt heavy and exhausted as you dragged yourself out of bed for work. The next three days were hard going. The morning sickness began each morning from the moment you woke up, getting stronger every day. Pedro became more and more worried asking, no begging you to call in sick for work. But each day you'd insisted you didn't feel that bad. The truth was you felt like shit! The unabating nausea and fatigue left you feeling on edge, knowing you can't keep this a secret for much longer. He's going to figure it out any day now or at least suspect, your anxious mind keeps telling you. By the evening of the third day Pedro couldn't take the worry anymore. "You've been ill for three days Y/N," he observed, uneasily, while sitting beside you on the bed, his hand caressing your cheek. "If you're no better in the morning you have to see the doctor." His face betrayed the apprehension he's feeling. "Ped, no I'm fine-" "You're not fine and you're starting to worry me." He cut you off in an urgent but not angry tone. "I'll drag you there if I have to." "Okay, Okay. I'll go," you groggily reply with a small smile. Relieved, Pedro leaned down to kiss your forehead. "Get some sleep baby. I'll check on you in a bit."

And with that he walked out of the room, leaving the door ajar. You closed you eyes and sighed. You knew this time would come. The time when you'd have to spill the beans, as they say. You weren't entirely ready for it but you have no choice now. You know he'll make you go to the doctor tomorrow and you can't use work as an excuse to worm your way out of it since it's one of your days off. You have to tell him tomorrow. The next hour was spent pondering what you would say to him and all the different ways he might react. Eventually, exhausted both physically and mentally you drift off into an uneasy sleep.

******

"You're what?!" Pedro's voice reached a pitch you didn't realise he was capable of. His earthy brown eyes were as wide as saucers and his jaw hung slack. Your eyes dart to your feet as you feel your cheeks burn and your fingers begin to tap the sides of your hips in anticipation. "I'm.... pregnant," you repeated, voice shaking. "I don't know what happened. The pill has never failed in the past-" "We'll it fucking has now, hasn't it!" He shot you a choleric look. "Or maybe you just weren't careful." "Excuse me?!" You snapped back with furrowed brows. "Don't you dare blame this on me. I never missed one pill and we always used extra protection when needed. You know that!" "I don't know anything right now!" Pedro shouted through his hands which were now rubbing his face in exasperation. "Well I didn't make this baby all by myself so don't put this all on me!" Hot tears begin to cascade down your cheeks despite your best efforts to hold them back. "I just.... FUCK!" Pedro cried out, booting one of the kitchen stools, making you jump.

"We can't do this. I can't do this." "Well it's too late now," you huff at him with your arms folded across your chest. "Not if we don't want it to be," he stated flatly. Your eyes widened and your heart clenched at his cold demeanour, causing you to instinctively place your hands across the small swell of your belly in protection. "I'm not getting rid of it Ped. I.... I can't," you exclaimed. "Y/N," Pedro sighed, shaking his head "This would change our lives completely. Neither one of us has the time for such a huge commitment and-" "I don't care," you cut him off sharply, fixing him with daggers. "I'm not getting rid of it. If it means I have to work part time then it's something I'm prepared to do." Pedro threw his head back to look at the ceiling, seemingly annoyed at your obstinate determination. You continue, "Weather we like it or not this is happening and we need -" "No it's not." He quickly stated, with finality. You stare at him dumbfounded. "What?!" "I'm not doing this. If you want to keep it you'll have to do it alone. I never wanted this and you know it." He returned your own words to you with clear contempt.

You open your mouth to say something, anything but words have now failed you. Your brain is unable to form a coherent sentence as the realisation of his words hit you like a punch to your gut. You feel numb as your heart shatters piercing your soul. He can't mean it! He's just upset, you try to rationalise internally, still to shocked to speak. Pedro turned away from you, grabbed his car keys off the kitchen island and stormed to the front door. "Make sure you're gone before I get back," he demanded in an emotionless tone. Seeing him walk away from you, immediately loosened your frozen tongue. "Baby wait!" you sobbed after him as he slammed the door shut without a backward glance. You instantly drop to your knees on the cold kitchen tiles, embracing yourself as your grief becomes unbearable. Your head begins to spin as you try to suck in deep breaths. It's no use. The despair is now consuming you, seeping into every crevice of your being, gripping you and tearing you apart. "Y/N?" You continue to sob. "Y/N?!" The familiar voice sounds muffled through your tormented cries and you can feel phantom hands gently shaking your shoulders. "Y/N?! Baby wake up, wake up. Look at me!"

You gasp as your eyes snap open. You are met with concerned caramel eyes, glowing in the dim lamp light. Pedro was leaning over your body, holding onto both of your shoulders. "It's okay. It was just a bad dream," Pedro soothed you while cupping your cheek. The feel of his warm skin against yours brought a sense of calm to your confused and distressed state, helping you to catch your breath. He sat up, slowly pulling you up with him. "Jesus Christ, you scared the hell out of me. What the hell happened?" he asked nervously as he wiped away a mixture of cold sweat and tears that had soaked your face. "I...," your voice gave out as you realised it was nothing more than a nightmare and the man you love is right here beside you. "I... can't remember." Your voice didn't sound convincing at all, and Pedro's raised eyebrow told you that he wasn't convinced either. "You're pretty shaken up sweetheart. You can tell me." "It's just a blur now." You choke out, wrapping an arm around his broad, tanned chest and leaning into his shoulder. "Okay," Pedro replied, still sounding unsure. He wrapped an arm around your shoulder and you snuggle into his neck as you both lay back down. You wrap your arm and legs around him like a baby koala, desperate for some comfort and reassurance that he indeed hasn't left you. "I've got you," he whispered, while holding you firmly and stroking your hair. "Let's go back to sleep."

*****

The sunlight spills in as the curtains lazily blow due to the partially open window. Your eyelids are heavy from the lack of sleep. Groaning you turn to the bedside table to check the time. 11:30am. "Shit," you mumble while rubbing the sleep from your eyes. You never sleep this late. You throw the quilt off and sit up slowly, the nausea returning as you do. Downstairs you can hear Pedro in the kitchen. "Okay, let's get this over with," you sigh, knowing you can no longer avoid the inevitable. As you approach the kitchen you stop and lean against the door frame with your arms crossed. Pedro's back is to you and you take the opportunity to just watch him, appreciate him and contemplate just how much you love him. A small smile tugs at the corners of your mouth as you just absorb the mere presence of him. But as soon as the smile appears it evaporates as the nausea increases momentarily, pulling you back to the here and now, reminding you of what you must do. In a few minutes everything will drastically change for the both of you.

Images from last night's dream flash before you, making your heart race slightly and your palms sweaty. A part of you knows deep down that Pedro would never treat you so cruelly and walk out on you, but it would be a lie to say the dream didn't shake you and make you feel somewhat apprehensive at this moment. "Hey darling," Pedro smiles as he turns to see you idling in the doorway. "How long have you been standing there?" "Not long," you shrug with a wan smile. He set his coffee mug on the counter and walked over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist. In return you run your hands up his arms, gently holding onto his triceps. "How are you feeling?" He asks with a creased brow. "Okay." An obvious lie. "Why didn't you wake me?" "Figured you needed some extra time since you didn't sleep much last night. I felt you toss and turn all night long." Worry and unease laced his voice. A few moments of silence pass before you clear your throat. "Baby, can we talk?" "About what?" he enquires with trepidation. "Just come with me," you exhale softly as you lead him by his hand into the living room to sit next to you on the settee.

With a deep breath you turn to face him, and feel your heartbeat quicken while twitching your fingers in your lap. A nervous habit of your that Pedro knows all to well. He places his soft palm over your fumbling hands to calm you. "You're making me nervous Y/N. Please just tell me what's wrong," he all but begs you. "I uh... I don't know how else to say this so I'll just say it..... I'm pregnant." Shock adorns Pedro's features as his hand slips off of yours. The cold feeling of emptiness where his warm hand had just been resting caused your breath to catch in your chest. You couldn't hold his gaze any longer and dropped your head, anxiety threatening to consume you. You wait with a sense of dread for his possibly angry or fearful reaction but are caught off guard when he delicately takes both of your hands in his, causing you to look up at him in anticipation. "Are you sure?" He whispers, his voice shaking slightly. "Yes," you nod. "I took four tests...all positive. I'm so sorry...." You began to ramble, "I didn't mean for this to happen. I don't know how it did. I know you never wanted-" "Hey, hey shhhh.... take a breath." Pedro cooed as he pulled you into his chest, cupping the back of your head with one hand and smoothing up and down your back with the other.

You begin to weep desperately as the past weeks' tension and worry finally break through the mental and emotional dam you had built within. "I'm sorry," you wail into his shoulder, chest shuddering as you try to regain some semblance of self control. Pedro cradles both of your cheeks in his hands and pulls you upright to look into your weary eyes. "Why are you apologising? Last time I checked it takes two to make a baby. You are no more responsible for this than I am, so please stop saying you're sorry." Your breaths become less laboured as his thumbs smooth small circles over your cheeks, the action soothing and reassuring. "It's just.... I know you never wanted kids..." You begin in a slightly exhausted tone. "I just don't know what else to say except.... I'm sorry." Pedro takes a a deep breath. "It's true I've never seen myself becoming a dad, and I never would have purposely had a baby," you look down and nod in understanding, feeling guilty for putting him in this situation. "But..." He tilt's your chin up to make eye contact with you again. "If it was going to happen, I'd only want it to happen with you."

The sincerity of his words took you by surprise. "Really?" You ask astonished. "Really." he assures you. "Is this why you've been acting so strange and been so sick lately?" You gulp and nod once. "How long have you known?" "A couple of weeks," you confess quietly. "And you kept it to yourself all this time?" It was more of a statement than a question. "You should have told me straight away. You never should have had to go through this alone," Pedro said with a hint of sadness in his voice. "I was scared" You admit somewhat timidly. "I was scared of what this would mean for us. I was scared because I want to keep it." Pedro smiled softly. "You know I'll support you no matter what, right?" "I know." A relieved smile made it way onto your face. "Was what happened last night anything to do with this?" Pedro questioned while reaching for your hand. "Yeah, but it doesn't matter now." You try to shrug the question off. "Tell me. I wanna know." "You.... you got angry," you shifted uncomfortably in your seat. "You blamed me, told me I'd have to do this alone and... you left."

Pedro's shoulders slumped as you finished speaking. "You didn't think I'd actually do something like that, did you?" The hurt in his voice was clear and it broke your heart. "No! no of course not," you cut in quickly. It wasn't a lie. You know what kind of man Pedro is and that he'd never hurt you like that. "I guess it was just all the stress and worry coming out in that dream. I know you and I know you love me. I know you'd never do anything like that." His face visibly relaxed hearing you confirm what he already knew to be true. "I do love you, baby. I know this is a huge change but we'll make it work. I promise." "I just don't want you to ever resent me or feel trapped-" "Shhhh..." he gently interrupted. "I could never feel that way, okay?" His voice left no room for any doubt. "I love you so much," you exclaimed, eyes beginning to fill again, but this time from relief and happiness. "I love you too, darling," Pedro whispered as he pressed his lips to yours. After several seconds he pulls away to look down at your belly, noticing the tiny bump through your pyjama top for the first time. "Can I?" He asks almost shyly. "You don't ever need to ask," you laugh with adoration. You take his hand and gently place it over the swell of your belly, watching as his eyes widen in amazement. "Wow!" He breathes out in awe. You both look at each other, eyes conveying the love you have for one another and now for this little one. The stress that had plagued you for the past two weeks began to dissipate like fog being burned away by the sun. The uncertainty of such a life altering future hung in the air but you know that together you can both handle whatever that future brings.

Oh Mama A Continuation

#pedro pascal #pedro x reader #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fandom

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tinytinyblogs · 7 months

Text

Skz Soft Hours: Jeongin

You both love each other, and the only thing left to do is say it.

(Best friend to lover)

Stray kids masterlist here

Jeongin pulled the blanket up over your chin to make sure you stayed warm that night. He couldn't help but admire your sleeping face, which looked so cute to him. He whispered softly, "Hey," to make sure you were already asleep. He sat down on the edge of your bed, glad to be your best friend. He had no regrets. He had to admit that everything about you filled his day. The way you talked, the way you laughed, every silly thing you did, and the way you cared about him like no one else could. He knew you like the back of his hand. But there was still one thing he didn't know: the true depth of your feelings for him.

"That guy at your work seems so nice. And he obviously likes you a lot. It's great that you've met someone good enough for you, but I'm not ready to face that reality." People say not to fall in love with your best friend, and they're right. Jeongin isn't sure why, but it's become so complicated. He knows you well and is comfortable with you more than anyone else, but the more he falls for you, the more scared he is that he's the only one who feels that way. If he ruins everything, he'll lose you as both his best friend and the one he loves. It's a nightmare. "I want to be selfish sometimes."

Jeongin lacks the courage to confess his feelings to you. The only time he feels brave enough is when you're asleep, but even then, he can't bring himself to say it. He tries so hard not to fall deeper in love with you, but he fails every day. He knows that you're a good person, and he's grateful for your friendship. But the more time he spends with you, the more he realizes that he wants to be more than just your friend. He wants to be the one who makes you laugh, the one who dries your tears, and the one who you can always count on. It's like he's not meant to win this game of love that you've created.

"I want to tell you to stay away from them and only look at me, but I'm just your friend. I can't do that." Sometimes, Jeongin wishes he could be the stranger you meet who can tell you how much you mean to him and how much he loves you. He loves it when people mistake you two for lovers because he loves the idea of you being his. He also loves how close you are to his family, as if you were already a part of it. "I wish I knew what you think of me and how you feel about me," Jeongin cares for you more than you realize. You are his top priority, even though he may not say it out loud.

He's always down to do anything for you, and the two of you are more comfortable with each other than you are with anyone else. Jeongin doesn't even know when his feelings started, but by the time he realized they were there, they were already too deep to deny. He's always the one who rushes to your side when you need him, cheers you up, and makes you smile. Is it because he's hiding his feelings for you so well, or are you ignoring them because you don't want to think of him in that way? This question spins through his head constantly. "I love you so much," he whispers to himself, his heart aching with the longing to tell you how he feels.

"Dummy," you whisper, still in the same position where Jeongin thought you were sleeping. You open your eyes slightly, catching a glimpse of him that startles him. "Is it that hard to say you love me?" you ask. "You always act like you don't see me as more than a friend." You weren't even close to falling asleep when Jeongin started to speak, and his confession was the one thing you had been waiting for. "You don't know how long I've waited for you to tell me this, Jeongin," you say. "How many guys I've pushed away because of you." You've always failed at romance, and you know why: it's not with your best friend, Yang Jeongin.

You can get along with other people who love you, but none of them are the same as Jeongin. No one knows you as well as he does. You know you're both bad at romance, and it makes things difficult and complicated. "I don't care about anyone else, Jeongin. I don't care about them when i have you by my side." Waiting in the void, both of you unsure of what you're waiting for. Maybe you're both too scared to say the word 'love,' but you're both hoping and praying for it just as much. He places his hand on yours, feeling the warmth that he loves so much. Your hand squeezes his as soon as his touches yours.

"God, why is it so complicated? I should have told you this sooner," he whispers under his breath. A small smile appears on your face, and he can't help but smile back. At that moment, nothing else mattered to either of you. Jeongin had given you his whole world, and he was no longer afraid of you being with someone else. He was writing a love story with you, and he was more than happy. He couldn't even explain it. With the soft kiss he placed on your lips that night, he wanted you to know that he couldn't wait to make you happy and to see what kind of happiness lay ahead for both of you. He was going to give you all the love you deserved.

"I thought you were asleep," Jeongin whispered, pulling you close and wrapping his arms around you. He wanted to send all his love and warmth to you, his lover. "How can I sleep when you're talking about something I really want to hear from you?" you replied, snuggling into his chest. No more heartbreak. Jeongin didn't need to feel like the saddest person in the world anymore. With you by his side, he could learn to be as happy as he could be. "Right," he said, kissing your forehead. "Now let's sleep. We have a date tomorrow."

💬 Don't judge me, bro. I'm about as good at writing romance as a cactus is at giving hugs. I mean, I can do it, but it's not gonna be pretty.

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merakiui · 4 months

Note

You're still here? —ace

(fwb dialogues)

When Ace walks into the kitchen, freshly showered and donning a spare set of clothes—clothes he's started storing at Ramshackle for 'emergency purposes'—you're half-surprised to see him.

"You're still here?"

"What? Don't wanna see this face anymore?" he teases, leaning against the counter in an effort to look perfectly cool and nonchalant.

"You just don't want Riddle to catch and collar you for sneaking in after curfew again."

"Yeah, obviously!" Ace heaves an exaggerated sigh before putting on Riddle's stern inflection. "He was all, 'You're not exempt from the curfew, Ace. If anything, it especially applies to you. Your first year is an important one. Don't squander it.' And then he made me paint the roses as punishment. How cruel can a guy be?"

"If you're Riddle, exceptionally cruel."

"Right? You get it." He locks eyes with you then. Your stare is insistent, and the longer you continue to peer at him the more he seems to shift and fidget. "W-What? Something wrong? I mean, I totally get why you're staring. Any longer and I'll have to charge you one kiss per—hey!"

Ace sputters when you drop the dishrag over his head. Before he can peel it off, you're using it to dry his still-soaked hair. "You showered quick."

"I care about saving hot water for you. Aren't I a good friend? That's gotta earn me, like, at least another kiss."

You laugh and pull the towel up to look at him. "That's the second time you've mentioned kissing. Someone's addicted."

"I've got my priorities in order. So what?" He averts his eyes, cheeks warming. "Anyways! You got anything good in the fridge? All of that worked up an appetite."

"I wish, but Grim cleaned it out earlier. I've gotta go shopping soon."

"I'll come with. Because I gotta get stuff, too!" he says, tacking that last sentence on with great haste. There's no such thing as dates between you and Ace. He's not into romance right now and neither are you. But sometimes you wonder...

"How kind of you." You beam, leaning in to press your lips to the corner of his mouth. "I'm still not gonna pay for your snacks, though. You're on your own."

"Cold-hearted..."

"Keep dreaming."

"Only if you kiss me properly."

You roll your eyes, but his roguish smirk is infectious and you can't stay away. Ace backs himself into the counter and you place your hands on either side of him to keep him there. With minimal effort, you move in and capture his lips in a real, raw kiss. It's the same routine, but something feels different tonight. The energy's abuzz with veiled feelings.

"I'm sleeping over, by the way," he mutters against your mouth, pulling you in close.

"Good. I don't want you to leave."

#twisted chit chat #meraki dialogues

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1d1195 · 1 year

Text

Neighbors IV

What's this?! A timely update?!

Read the other parts here: Part I Part II and Part III

I could be persuaded into one more part if needed. I'll make a series post for this tomorrow probably as well so it's easier to find.

🐱 I hope you enjoy once more.

Disclaimer: EVERYTHING I know about being a doctor comes from WebMD and TV. I'm fully aware this is outlandish. But it's for the plot ya know?

She looked like she was going to collapse. Harry took that moment to stand closer to her. The back of his hand touched hers. She leaned towards him almost instinctively. He took this as his signal to press her against his body. He wasn’t going to let her down. He would never let her collapse.

There was no other way to explain it and Harry had searched his brain over and over to get to the bottom of his emotions. He wanted it to be anything but what he was feeling. But there was no other word. Harry was mad. He wanted to see her. He missed her dearly. Missed Rory just as much, too. But he knew it wasn’t his business or duty to be part of the decision. He had no say in the matter. He could only love her as much as she’d let him.

And he did love her. He never thought he didn’t or couldn’t. She was an incredible mother and her gentleness, kindness, and sweetness on top of her beauty was so much for Harry. He was lucky to get to know her over these two years. While he was mournfully upset over not being around her, he did understand why she pushed away like this.

Of course, he understood.

He still hated it.

So Harry went about his day as if she and Rory weren’t part of his life any longer and it killed him but he would do anything to make her happy. Even if it meant he couldn’t see her anymore.

She was about to lose her mind.

Rory hadn’t seemed like himself in days. Based on the spots on the back of his throat she assumed it was strep. But she took him to the doctor, got the antibiotic and moved on. When he didn’t get better after the five-day course of antibiotics, they sent him home again with another five days’ worth of treatment.

But it was now day seven pushing on day eight. Rory wasn’t getting any better. Rory was tired all the time. He was quiet. So quiet it scared her enough that she was watching him sleep rather than sleeping herself. He was clearly in pain, and she couldn’t take it anymore.

Topped with not being around her best friend that was literally and figuratively a stone’s throw away. Her brain was all but fried.

After the first bout of non-working medication, she began researching. It was a horrible idea, but it was the only thing she could do. She wasn’t a medical professional. All she knew was from TV shows and she knew that they only did rare diseases to make the show fun and exciting.

This was not fun nor exciting.

Her heart was aching for Rory. It was one of the only times she ever wished she had someone to lean on when she felt so broken. She knew if she called Harry he would come running over and he would help with whatever she asked. It seemed so unfair to ask him for help. She had done it all on her own until Harry arrived in the neighborhood.

But would it be so bad to ask Harry for help? He was perfect in every way and obviously adored Rory. She had no doubt Rory would be a priority in Harry’s life too. If he wanted it, who was she to deny him of it?

“Mumma, I don’t feel good,” Rory mumbled. It broke her thoughts of Harry. She wished they didn’t because she was about to plan an apology that Harry deserved and she prayed he would accept. If he didn’t, she would understand. Only an idiot would let someone like Harry slip out of their life and she was the front runner for the village idiot.

But when she looked at Rory her heart broke again. He coughed once more shaking his little body, and she had enough. “Okay, baby we’re going to go to the doctor’s again,” she murmured scooping him into her arms. He was getting bigger and that also broke her heart. It wasn’t the time, but it was all she could think about. But he was sick and still so little. Stuffing her feet into the sneakers that were at the door not letting Rory out of her arms for a moment, she then wrapped his coat and a blanket around him because it was naturally raining and raining hard. Scurrying to her car she settled him into the back on his car seat. He coughed again, right in her neck, and groaned. “I know, baby, I know,” she sighed.

Getting into the front seat she turned the key.

Click.

Surely this was a dream. “No, no, no,” she said smacking the steering wheel. “Please, please, please,” she begged.

Click.

“Goddammit!” She hissed under her breath smacking the wheel.

“Mumma?” Rory whined.

“Yes, baby?”

“My tummy hurts,” he said.

“I know, Rory, I’m sorry. I’m...” she felt tears of frustration start behind her eyes and she thought about just running with Rory in her arms all the way to the hospital. But she did have one other option. Before she could process her own idea, her phone was pressed to her ear, she called Harry. Her heart was racing. He didn’t answer.

“Fuck,” she croaked again. It was late of course he wouldn’t hear it. Normally, Rory would giggle out that was a bad word, but he just stayed silent, turning red, hot, and more sick by the second. “C’mon,” she said quickly and retrieved him from the backseat. She hurried across the street and started banging on the door.

Harry startled awake to the sound of his phone vibrating incessantly; nearly falling off on his nightstand paired with an incessant banging that he couldn’t fully understand where it was coming from because his brain was still sleeping. He couldn’t even make out the name on his screen because his brain was still fuzzy, and his heart was slowly working up to regular speed. He felt shocked as he answered tiredly. His brain only worked at the quarter of his normal speed. He cleared his throat, eyes still closed. “’Lo?”

“Harry, please come open the door. Please, please, please,” he had never heard anyone sound so desperate and terrified in his whole life. His eyes opened as if they were spring loaded. He was sure he looked like a horror film. But now his heart was racing further.

“Yeah, yeah, love. Hold on,” trying to shake the sleep from his brain. The distress in her voice made him want to fly down the stairs and he nearly yanked the door off the hinges. He only had seconds to make sense of what was happening but all he could think about was someone hurting her or Rory and how he would do anything to make sure they were both safe. The last few weeks meant nothing. There wasn’t time to qualm about it.

She was clutching Rory to her body; her face was in absolute anguish and Harry was in awe that she could even stand with the weight of whatever she was carrying mentally in addition to Rory. Harry was flicking his eyes back from her to Rory. His chest ached almost as much as hers at the sight of Rory: pale, cheeks pink, and covered in spots. “Something’s wrong with Rory, my car won’t start. Can you drive us to the hospital?” She rushed out her eyes so pleading Harry could have cried.

“Shit. Yeah, yeah, of course.”

Harry grabbed a pair of shoes and coat by the door. Didn’t even put them on and ushered the pair of them to his car in the soaking rain. She slid into the back with Rory cradled in her arms. Harry was terrified. “Mumma, it hurts,” Rory mumbled. His quiet voice, nearly devoid of emotion, made Harry weak, and he pressed his foot further onto the gas pedal wishing it wasn’t raining so he could speed the way he wanted to all the way to the hospital.

“I know baby, I know,” she whispered soothingly.

Harry struggled to put his shoes and coat on as they ran inside to the emergency room. He knew they must have looked insane. She felt insane as she told them he was sick and all the things she had done since the onset of him feeling unwell. They eyed her suspiciously and then her son but of course took the boy and ushered her and Harry to the waiting room.

They ran more tests and while they did, she began pacing, staring at her phone, tapping on the screen as she searched and scoured the internet for something that could help. “Love, I know you want to help, but googling won’t do anything but make you worry.”

“Harry, something is wrong with him,” she said as if he didn’t know why they were there. She could feel the anger projecting onto Harry and she hated it—it wasn’t Harry’s fault she was mad and scared.

But of course, Harry was perfect and didn’t mind her anger was geared toward him in the moment. “I know, love, I know,” he said almost defensively. Harry was also scraping his mind for ideas of what could have happened to the poor boy. His leg bouncing rapidly in anxiousness. “I jus’ don’t want you t’worry unless there is something t’worry about,” he promised.

She sighed out an apologetic breath in his direction and kept her nose glued to her phone continuing her search.

Fortunately, the medical professionals returned shortly thereafter; her phone slid into her pocket and she stood up anxiously but hopeful. She looked at them expectantly awaiting a cure-all for her poor little boy. Somehow she missed it; probably the lack of sleep making her less aware than normal...but Harry could see it in their eyes. They were going to break her heart. “It’s just strep, ma’am.”

She shook her head, her face crumpling in pain that existed in someone else’s body. “No,” Harry could see the torment coursing in her own body. She looked like she was going to collapse. Harry took that moment to stand closer to her. The back of his hand touched hers. She leaned towards him almost instinctively. He took this as his signal to press her against his body. He wasn’t going to let her down. He would never let her collapse. His own heart was racing in fear that the poor little kid was sick as hell. Harry had never seen a child so run down. He felt bad for his mum in that moment—all those times he didn’t feel well, and she had to go through feeling like this. Rory was obviously not his own, but he was prepared to donate every last drop of his blood to the sweet kid if it meant he would feel better and be cured.

“I know when your baby is sick—” The doctor began.

She pressed her fingers to her temples shaking her head, rapidly.

“No, no, no... you don’t know. You don’t understand. This is not me being a crazy mom. I know I sound like a crazy mom. This isn’t that. I know my baby. Something is wrong with him. There is something wrong with him and I’m not leaving until something is done!” She was all but shouting and Harry put a hand on her back. She started to march over to the waiting area again, she began pacing once more. Harry felt helpless looking at her from where the healthcare stood back to her. They discreetly called for a psychologist while continued Googling her little heart out. Harry felt his head snap defensively at their words as a woman picked up a phone at the desk. Harry would not let them talk about her when she was merely feet away.

“Excuse me,” he murmured at the counter blocking their view of her, but more importantly, her view of them.

“Sir,” the nurse behind the desk started; phone to hear ear.

Harry shook his head, not moving his gaze from her eyes. “I know you’re calling for a psychologist,” he said quietly avoiding raising the tone of his voice at all so she couldn’t hear. They faltered for a moment. He could see their surprised look; how could Harry possibly know that? He narrowed his eyes at the woman on the phone as the voice at the other end began to speak. He pulled his ID that resided in his coat pocket for home visits; he was lucky he didn’t take it out. They looked over his credentials and then back to Harry. “She doesn’t need that,” he shook his head stating it firmly.

She glanced over at Harry at the counter curious what they could be talking about. “Harry?”

“Just a moment, love,” he said to her not moving his gaze from the woman waiting to speak into the receiver.

“Mr. Styles, surely you understand that from lack of sleep and—” The doctor began.

Harry shook his head. “She is fine,” he repeated. “You need to fix her son.”

Harry knew they still didn’t believe him. She was soaking wet and wearing two different sneakers from leaving in such a hurry. They looked at Harry pleadingly, as if he would suddenly change his mind because they were both medical professionals. He denied their silent pleas. He refused to aid them in ignoring her maternal instinct. He knew she wasn’t crazy. Crazy people didn’t wake up their neighbors they were no longer speaking to in the middle of the night. Harry knew she wished it was strep. Strep would be getting better and she would be calmer.

“Harry?” She asked again coming over to the counter. The doctor took his chance once more as the nurse hung up the phone.

“Ma’am...it’s—”

“I swear to God, if you say it’s strep, one more time, I will respectfully throw your tablet,” that wasn’t helping Harry’s sanity case, but it wasn’t uncalled for in his eyes. “If it was strep, I would have it by now! That kid threw up, coughed on, and drooled all over me. It’s not strep! He’s not responding to the antibiotic.”

There was a second doctor that overheard her rising tone and joined in the little circle of trying to maintain calmness. “Ma’am, we’ve run every test.”

“Run them again. It’s not strep!”

“Ma’am, we can’t just—"

“Love,” Harry whispered under his breath trying to keep her level. He believed her of course, but he didn’t want her to get tossed aside because she was scared. The arguing was reaching near hysterics. It was getting past midnight and she was not crazy, but she was close to losing her mind. Harry couldn’t keep her calmer much longer even if he wanted to—he wanted Rory to be tested again just as much as she did. She started pacing again as she scans her phone.

They list through the symptoms and options of what is wrong with him. She kept repeating ‘no’ like a mantra as she read on her phone. Yes, all of the symptoms sounded like strep. Maybe it was tonsilitis, they could send her home with yet another antibiotic. They looked at Harry again pleadingly, but his eyes didn’t stray from her. He was getting increasingly worried about her; he wanted her to be okay just as much as he wanted Rory to be alright.

“Kawasaki disease,” she said suddenly. Holding her phone out to them as proof.

“He doesn’t have the strawberry tongue or any other earmarks—”

Phone back to her face and she slid the screen further. Her eyes were desperate, tears forming in the corners. The doctors clearly wanted to throw away her phone as much as she wanted to throw away their tablet.

“Rocky mountain spotted fever. We went for a beach walk in the dunes over a week ago,” she said and looked at them pleadingly. It was one of the illnesses listed it was nearly impossible. But this was impossible, and she was exhausted. And she had to try.

The doctor shook his head moving her phone screen up a bit as he read. “They’re not in these parts and he would have blackened crusted skin around a bite.”

Desperate once more, she marched into his little cubicle around the corner. The nurse standing by moved out of the way quickly as she yanked the sticker monitors off his skin, pulled the finger monitor off, untied the little gown off his body. Alarms beeped behind her as her eyes started scanning his body. How could she have missed a bite? How could she not have checked for tick bites? This was all her fault. Every second of it.

“Fuck,” she whimpered as she continued scanning, she didn’t see anything on him, and with each scan of his skin she felt more and more hopeless. Surely, she would be sedated in a matter of moments if she didn’t find something—she was certain that was the protocol, and she couldn’t help but start to think they were right through all her exhaustion. Tears were clouding her eyes and she could hardly see his skin through her blurred vision. “Harry, help me,” she begged, her voice cracking violently.

Harry didn’t need to be told twice. He grabbed Rory beneath his arms, holding his sick little body up while she examined more of his skin. Harry let her. He would do anything to help her. He saw the panic on her face. He knew she didn’t want to be right, but she knew it was the only thing that was going to keep Rory from being sent home without treatment and without her being admitted to a psych ward.

“Ma’am,” they started. “We already looked over his whole body and we didn’t find anything...we can prescribe a different antibiotic if the treatment continues to be ineff—”

She was still scanning, ignoring the words that were coming from the medical professionals. Harry felt helpless. Totally helpless as he held his limp, tired little body. She maneuvered his limbs every which way. Please find something. He silently begged.

Finally, she lifted his hair up and started searching along his scalp. She gasped, covered her mouth, as tears dropped down her cheeks. “Like this?” She croaked. The doctor stepped over, and examined the black, scaly spot silently.

There was a moment of nothing but hospital beeps and quiet breathing. She waited expectantly, her eyes moving from Rory’s scalp, then to the doctor, to Harry holding Rory’s tired little body.

“We need more scans,” and then suddenly, finally, there was a call of a series of actions, and once more they whisked the little boy away on a gurney and moved swiftly down the hall.

“We’ll be right back,” the older female nurse promised. She was the one standing by when they entered Rory’s cubicle. Harry noted, now that the excitement is over, that she was the only person who wasn’t staring at the sweet girl as if she was insane. “You did great, Mom,” she praised, squeezed her arm reassuringly. “Good catch. He’ll be fine,” her smile was so kind it melted the anxious girl.

She paced the floor a few times as she started to cry harder again, hand over her heart and her breathing was so uneven, Harry actually worried she was having a cardiac episode. “Harry,” she croaked eventually. Harry pulled her to his body. His chin on top of her head. She shook with cries and Harry gently rocked her. Kissed the top of her head.

“S’okay. S’okay,” he promised rubbing her back. “You did it, love. You figured it out.”

“M’sorry. M’so sorry I cut you out and that was so stupid and you didn’t have to be so nice and take us here and watch me be insane—"

“No, beautiful. S’okay. Don’t worry about that, you’re forgiven, of course. Completely. S’okay,” he promised squeezing her as close as he could trying to keep her together when she was falling apart.

They were silent. Harry held her close to his chest, combed her hair down not moving except for a gentle sway of their bodies in the middle of the hospital hallway. Harry let her cry and he held her as tightly as he could. He hated why he was holding her, the idea of something happening to Rory made him want to kill someone, himself. But he was so grateful to hold her.

“Mr. and Mrs. Styles?”

“Oh, um...no—” Harry started feeling his face warm as he turned to the doctors to correct them. His hand stayed protectively on her lower back, and she leaned against him once more as if she would fall without Harry behind her. With one hand she wiped her eyes and then with the other grabbed Harry’s free hand as tightly as possible. Anchoring herself.

“How is Rory?” she asked, didn’t even bother to correct them at all. The moment wasn’t lost on Harry, but it did move to the back of his mind because Rory was of course more pressing.

“He’s going to be fine. He’s already responding to treatment.”

Harry felt the air fall from her body as if she released the weight of the world off her back. “Can we see him?”

We. Harry melted more.

“Of course,” he gestured to the room.

She hurried from Harry’s side, pulling his hand with her. “Hey Rory, love bug,” she cooed, cupping his face, and rubbing her thumb over his round little cheek.

“Mommy?” He asked wearily.

“Hi baby, how are you feeling now?”

“Hungry,” he sounded sleepy.

She giggled with a teary smile. “Yeah? Let’s get you some food...did you see Harry is here?”

“Hi, Rory,” Harry waved with a grin. “Feeling better?” Rory blearily looked at Harry for a few moments. He didn’t say anything to Harry and for a second, Harry selfishly worried it was too late. That time apart from him, despite all his best efforts to assure Rory he would always be there, was too much for his little heart. Harry betrayed his trust, and it wouldn’t be the same.

“Mommy?” He finally turned his gaze from Harry. It made his stomach churn fearing the rejection of a five- year-old—the only one that mattered. If there was no Rory, there would be no her.

“Yes, my love?” Her eyebrows pinched together because she had never seen Rory act so weird toward Harry. Even when she was doing everything in her power to keep him away. It made her stomach flutter with nervousness as well...unaware that Harry felt the same way.

“Can we be friends with Harry again?” He asked looking back at Harry nervously.

The smile nearly broke Harry’s face in half. He chuckled quietly while she also sighed with relieved giggles. Nodding, she squeezed Rory’s hand. “Yes, baby. We’re going to be best friends. Would you like that?”

He nodded then looked at Harry and smiled his sweet little grin. “Can we have s’mores when we get home?”

“S’more what, lad?”

Rory giggled the sweetest little giggle. “Don’t be silly, Harry.”

She held him in the back seat because they still didn’t have a car seat and it was still dark as ever outside as it neared four-thirty in the morning. Harry parked in her driveway, hurried to the door to open it, and pulled Rory into his arms. “I got him, love. You’ve carried him enough tonight,” he murmured. The tiredness was finally catching up to her and she let Harry pull him from her arms. Unlocking the door, she let the three of them in the house and Harry carried the sleeping boy to his room. She pulled his covers down so Harry could settle him in. Once all snuggled up, she kissed his forehead and sighed with relief as he slept soundly. Harry ruffled his hair gently. They left his room, and she closed the door quietly.

They walked wordlessly to the living room, and she sat on the couch leaning back against the cushions and staring at the ceiling blinking rapidly against more tears that were threatening to form. Harry sat beside her, so close he could feel the heat of her leg next to his. He wanted to reach out and touch her face, wipe that tear away that slid down her cheek. “Thank you,” she whispered. “For driving...for staying...for...” she shook her head. “Everything, Harry. Thank you,” it was so much undeserved gratitude. As if Harry wouldn’t reach into his chest at any moment and yank his heart out for her if she asked for it.

“Kitten...’course. Y’did all the heavy lifting,” he said and reached out to squeeze her knee. Her lower lip trembled violently, a sob threatening to bubble out of her chest which seemed so ridiculous now that all the danger was gone. The night must have been catching up to her all at once because at that moment she was crying soundlessly. Her chest aching and she started sniffling, she pressed a finger to her lips. “That was really scary,” she heaved.

“It was,” he nodded in agreement, his heart aching for her sadness, and nervousness. He watched her swallow around the pain that she was finally feeling of not knowing what would happen.

“I wouldn’t...if you weren’t...if you...if Rory—”

“Hey,” he said grabbing her hand from her mouth and bringing it to his own. He pressed a kiss to her knuckles so gently, it hurt her nearly broken heart all over again. He enjoyed the feel of her skin touching his lips and he pulled her up to a sitting position. He cupped her face with his other hand and rubbed his thumb along her cheekbone. “M’here,” he promised. “Always. For both of you.” She looked so nervous; her lip still wobbled. “What, beautiful? What’s wrong, love?” His eyebrows pinched together worried that she was going to have a breakdown that she couldn’t have before in the hospital.

She was still wearing two different sneakers and Harry was still in his coat. If she had time to worry about her appearance, she would have thought about how stringy her hair looked from the soaking rain and how her eyes had to be red from a lack of sleep and all the crying.

“M’so in love with you,” she croaked. Harry felt his heart warm every crevice of his body. He imagined hearing those words from the moment he met her and missed the idea of them when she wasn’t speaking to him. He thought he would melt into a puddle. “I can’t be,” she admitted and Harry felt ice brick over his veins. “I have a son and he is going to be first for the rest of my life and I want to put you first and you don’t deserve that. You deserve someone who will love you and put you—”

The relief Harry felt in her explanation melted the ice threatening his veins all over again. An exhausted smile played at the corner of his lips. He shook his head as she spoke, not even listening to the rest of her sentence. “Kitten,” he said taking both sides of her face and bringing it closer to his. The tip of his nose bumped hers. “I love Rory. And I love you. ‘Course, we’re going t’put Rory first. S’why you’re the best mum in the world. But jus’ because he’s first doesn’t mean you don’t deserve a love of your own,” he told her.

Harry was worried she was so tired she didn’t actually hear him. “...We?” She whispered eventually. The tears were still falling. She felt broken. Felt entirely too vulnerable with someone she’s known for too long. With someone she shouldn’t feel vulnerable around. But the last time she was this vulnerable with someone she loved so much, it was thrown in her face, and she was left alone on a couch just like this.

Harry tilted his head at her looking at her as if he was seeing her for the first time. “Always, beautiful.”

“You love me?” She whispered. Harry nodded silently.

“So much,” he said.

“Really?”

“Truly.”

She wasn’t proud of the way she contorted herself in that moment, throwing herself at him like a teenager and not a twenty-seven-year-old mother of a kindergartner and kissing him like she had been dreaming about kissing him.

But Harry was too long gone to care and enjoyed the moment of utter bliss in kissing the sweet woman he adored for the last few years while her son slept healthily and happily in his bed upstairs.

@claimingharrystigertattoo @mopeymousey @vmpellie @reveriehs

#harry #harry styles #harry styles writing #harry styles blurb #harry styles blurbs #harry styles fic #harry styles imagine #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles angst #neighbor!harry #harry styles sad #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #one direction #one direction writing #neighbors

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nicherayyy · 11 months

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Pls try doing la squadra x child reader, where they try to help reader do homework. Like if ghia is the type to make reader cry doing math, yk that kind of thing .. ♡

omg I'm alive💀 although recovering from some stupid exams

La Squadra helping Child!Reader with math homework

Homework is never fun. Especially when it's a math homework. These weird formulas and definitions it seems that you will never catch a break with.

Most of the students are hiring the tutor just to get at least anything from this cursed subject. But you have a different situation- seven assassins as father figures. Who also had no money for tutors.

So of course you don't have other choice them ask them to help you.

Risotto is actually very patient. Although he never liked math he enjoys spending some father/child time with you. But don't get your expectations too high, I already told he hated math too.

"Why do you even need to know this? You never gonna use this in life anyway"

"Honestly, I also have no idea"

Does not worry much about your grades, so if you fail a test or two he's not gonna tell you anything, just don't make a habit out of it.

But Prosciutto on the other hand is damn serious about your academic achievements. And because of that you rarely go to him with your math problems. Just no. But if there's no one other to help you.. well, you don't have a choice.

Will he be annoyed if you can't get the material? Yes. Will he yell at you for it. Never. Why? So you get more stressed or what? Math is already not the best thing and screams are not gonna do any good anyways.

"So how do you think you'll find x here?"

"Uhm.. I don't know?"

*sharp inhale* "okay let's review this one more time"

He literally won't let you go until you find a solution. Good luck I guess??

Pesci is the kindest and the most patient soul ever. He may be not the best at math but he's always ready to help (and even learn something new with you too)

"Lets re-read the article one last time just to make sure we got everything right?"

Tells you that grades is not the most important thing in the world, so he makes sure to not overwork you. Because honestly, for him your well-being will be his number one priority.

Formaggio is useless when it comes to math, I'm not gonna lie. But the thing is he can teach you how to cheat in class, just in case. And don't tell Prosciutto that he taught you this.

"If you need you can hide a small paper with answers in your pen, one sec I'll show you"

"Woah, I would never thought of doing it"

Obviously hated school so he knows a lot of ways how to cheat. Some of them he don't even want to tell you

Illuso is okayish, he was more of a literature guy but still good at math. But the problem is he forgot almost everything. And he's big ego won't let him admit it.

"Damn.. wait a minute.. I need to use a calculator"

"That's okay if you don't know I can ask Melone or-"

"NO. It's okay. I almost got it"

Sometimes you feel like he's the student here.

Ghiaccio.. is Ghiaccio. One time he made you cry and now he tries to be more patient with you. He just can't get it how you couldn't understand the material when he explained it like five times already.

"It's literary Pythagorean theorem how can't you get this??"

"I'm sorry", you sobbed

"Okay okay don't cry, please don't cry. I'll explain this again"

Shout out to him for trying.

He was a math genius in school. Dude even won some regional competitions once. So yeah, would make a perfect teacher if not anger issues.

Melone is the walking encyclopaedia. Sometimes you wonder how he can hold all this information in his head.

So yeah, he's the best choice if you want an easy explanation of your material.

"Just use this formula here"

"That easy?"

"That easy, yeah"

After your study sessions makes you some mint tea to relax and clear your head. Studying is important but a good rest and a nice cup of tea are the key to improve your memory and make studying a little more bearable.

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minimalist-language-learning · 1 year

Text

How I read and enjoy books in my target language

Please note that I write about what works for me and share advice based on my own experiences. If you have a different opinion or if you use other methods, that's absolutely fine. Do whatever works for you.

Since some people asked me how I read books in my target languages, I would like to describe my way of reading in this post. I focus on reading for some time now and I'm very happy with my progress so far. This doesn't mean that I won't change a few things in the future (I'm constantly gaining experience and changing my learning style accordingly).

1. Choosing a book

Before I start reading, I have to choose an appropriate book, obviously. After trial and error I realized how important this step is. My ideal book is:

not too easy (I won't learn much)

not too difficult (if I can't follow at least the rough story I won't enjoy it)

interesting (motivation to read it)

I try to choose a book that is slightly above my level so that I can follow the story without looking up too many words but also learn new words. I don't need to understand everything, but I don't want to feel lost either. Balance is important.

2. Trying the first chapter

After choosing a book that seems to be appropriate, I try to read the first chapter (and sometimes the first two chapters, if they are short). I pay attention to things like:

Can I follow the story?

Is the story interesting?

Do I like the writing style?

If I can answer (most) questions like these with "yes", I continue reading the book.

Do I only understand single words or sentences here and there? Do I have no clue what happens? Then I put the book aside for now and choose an easier one. There's no shame in admitting that this book is too difficult at the moment. Deciding what I don't read is just as important as deciding what I read.

3. Reading

If the level of difficulty is okay, I start reading the book. In my experience, the first few chapters are always the hardest. I need time to get used to the writing style, the used vocabulary and the story.

In the case of the japanese version of Harry Potter, the beginning was difficult because of the writing style. But after two chapters, I began to enjoy the story and so I continued. That's why I always try to read at least the first chapter. A book that seems difficult in the beginning can be very enjoyable once I've read enough pages.

When I come across an interesting word or a sentence I like, I highlight it. I try to not highlight too much stuff, though. Two, maybe three words per page is usually my maximum. Enjoying the story is my number one priority. I can read several pages without highlighting anything, even though there are words I don't know. As long as I don't feel the strong urge to look up a word, I just continue reading.

In many cases I can understand words from context and learn them over time just by seeing them again and again. That's why I don't look up words immediately. I wait to see if they come up more often.

After I finished one chapter, I look up all highlighted words and read the passages that contain these words a second time. This way, I can connect the meaning with the full context. I don't try to memorize the word; I just try to understand it in this particular context before I continue.

Most of the time, I learn words unconsciously. If the book is easy enough, it's not so difficult to guess the meaning of certain words. While reading, I don't focus so much on words I don't know. I just focus on following the story. I may not always understand every detail, but as long as I can follow and enjoy the story, everything is fine. I learn so much by engaging with the language in a meaningful way and enjoying the content. Sometimes, I even forget that I am reading a book in a foreign language!

I have to add, that I'm already familiar with basic sentence patterns and that I have experience with reading books in my target languages. I finished the book "Remembering the Kanji" which makes it easier to guess the meaning of words. Knowing lots of kanji is a great advantage.

I have still a long way to go, of course, but this natural way of learning vocabulary may not work well at very early stages because you need a foundation first. After you are familiar with the dialogues and example sentences in your textbook, graded readers are a good choice in my opinion. Graded readers can make the transition from textbooks to easy books aimed at (young) native speakers easier.

Tip: One thing that helped me is to take a card, write down words I looked up and put this card into the book. When I read it a second time, I don't need to look them up again. Reading texts more than once can help to get more familiar with new words. Plus, writing helps me to remember words better. Reviewing them in their original context is much more enjoyable to me than reviewing them with flashcards. In the picture below you can see how my cards look like:

4. Enjoy!

I made enjoying books my number one priority. This is what helped me to make much more progress than before. All I need is enough reading material at the right level and a dictionary. As soon as I get absorbed in a book, I don't think about learning a language. I just want to enjoy the story. The more experience I gain, the better I become at understanding the language as a result. There's no need to force it or to hurry.

What I like about just enjoying a book and learning words naturally is that it's so simple. I don't necessarily need my computer, a certain software, add-ons, ... All I need is something I can read. After reading a chapter, I only look up a few words as I described above and that's it. Then, I often feel so motivated that I want to read more. I read much more than before because I enjoy it so much.

#langblr #japanese learning #languagelearning #self study #language learning tips #foreign languages

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hey-kae · 2 years

Text

Home is Perfect Starts

Part one of the “Home is…” series.

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x singer!female reader

Request: read here

Warnings: language, sexual jokes, some smut.

a/n: okay so the request was for one imagine but this has turned into a series because there are so many scenes i wanna include what would have left us with a fic of 20k+ words so i decided to divide it. Really hoping the person who requested this doesn’t mind.

Just a year ago, you would've never imagined that life would somehow lead you to move to Monaco with the person you were quite sure you'd spend the rest of your life with, both of you looking with so much optimism towards a future that seemed so bright and perfect, slowly building a life together that you two knew you'd pick over anything and everything at any given space and time.

Around two years ago, you were sat unassumingly under the hot stage lights of yet another interview studio, the interviewer across from you asking prying questions and giving you curious looks like she was desperate for you to spill everything you have ever kept a secret about your life into the little microphone clipped onto your shirt. In reality, she wouldn't have exactly minded you giving her exclusive details about the private matters you kept to yourself but she was also aware that such occurrence was practically impossible, not with the intensive media training you had undergone, not with your manager backstage, not with your instance that your private life would always stay private no matter how much you fame might grow. However, her knowing all that didn't really mean that she wouldn't try to throw in the bait and hope for a scoop or some grand story she'd get to take credit for.

The loud cheers of the small crowd as the show resumed airing had alerted you back to reality, the host almost immediately announcing the start of "the fan favorite part of the show, a quick game of Would You Rather."

Fast forward a few questions that seemed eerily safe, you had been met with the one question that had gotten a laugh out of the audience.

"Would you rather skip a relative's wedding or miss a Formula 1 Grand Prix?" The interviewer had asked with a cheeky smile that had perfectly showed that she already knew the story.

"Oh God..." you had kept a smile but looked away for a second, a blush spreading over your cheeks in memory of that day, "How did you find out about this?" A perfectly timed chuckle had escaped your lips as you pushed your hair over your shoulders elegantly.

"We have our ways."

"Oh, quite mysterious!" You laughed a bit, "Alright, alright. Here's the full story but before anyone decides to judge, l ended up not missing any of the two, by the way! This was a few years ago so i was considerably young but... yeah, there was a race on the same day as a family member's wedding. It was a championship decider basically and i really wanted to see who would end up winning so i tried sweet talking my parents out of taking me to the wedding, even tried playing sick but it didn't work out. So, after a big argument with my mom, i ended up going but i'm a girl who has her priorities set straight so naturally, i stayed glued to my phone all the ceremony, what got me a lot of disapproving glares, not gonna lie. And i remember it so clearly, but my favorite driver ended up crashing out during the vows so -god, this is embarrassing- i was literally crying and everyone around me thought i had gotten emotional over what the bride was saying when, obviously, that wasn't the case." You had finished the story with an embarrassed nod and pursed lips.

The following question was one you had cautiously answered.

"Do we get to know your favorite team?"

"Well, everybody's a Ferrari fan. Right?" You quoted Sebastian Vettel with a smug smile since you knew only F1 fans would catch the reference.

How that little statement and a few unconvered pictures of younger you watching races, all decked out in Ferrari merchandise, ended up with you being invited to the Ferrari hospitality at the Italian Grand Prix, your name on the pass hanging around your neck being "Charles Leclerc guest 3" was something you still couldn't wrap your head around.

When your manager had informed you of the invite, you wouldn't have ever assumed that you were invited by the driver himself, not the team so naturally, seeing his name on the pass was a shock, especially given the fact that the two of you had never interacted in the past aside from the follows you had exchanged on instagram after that interview.

During that race weekend, the tension between the two of you had debuted. You had ended up with him in a flaming red Ferrari, helmet on and filming a hot laps video around the track.

You were a bit shy by nature, especially around people you were undeniably attracted to and while locked into the car with you, Charles was quick to take notice of that. It had boosted his ego and therefore his confidence, encouraging him to push the car to its utmost limits, drifting it through the corners and letting the tires screech as they struggled against the black asphalt.

However, the precise moment where the two of you figured there might be something more to the instant connection you had formed was when he noticed how unaffected by the speed you were, cheering him on as he drove instead of freaking out like he had seen in the hot laps videos he had binge watched to know what to expect.

"Oh, come on! I have to find a way to get some screams out of you!" The monégasque spoke before thinking, stepping harder onto the gas pedal as the car shot down a straight, only to realize the double meaning of his words when he saw you struggling to hold in your laughter, your cheeks blushing a deep shade of red before finally allowing yourself to laugh, deeming your attempt to neutralize your reaction as a failure.

Charles absolutely loved your reaction to the dirtier side of his words. Something about the sound of your laugh had caged in his heart, leaving him to grin at you like he could see the future. Likewise, something about the way he had looked at you while you laughed, his eyes glistening in the sun told you he'd be someone special in your life.

While he was still grinning, he worked some buttons on his steering wheel then he drove the car in donuts as you giggled, genuinely enjoying the experience, loving the speed and the smell and sound of the tires.

To your surprise, Charles' comment about getting you to scream wasn't cut out of the video. In fact, it became the star of it. It was actually the spark that ignited the fire between the two of you, especially when that little interaction, more specifically your reactions to it caused fans to ship the two of you.

After that day, you had contacted Charles to thank him for the invite and the experience and that ended up in a meetup then another then another and soon enough the meetups turned into dates then secret getaways. Barely any additional time passed before you found yourself calling Charles Leclerc your boyfriend.

Almost instantly, you started getting spotted sneaking around with him wether it was around paddocks, backstage at your shows, around Monaco or from your tourbus. The first video that went viral and made it harder to play off the rumors was one of Charles in a VIP box at your concert, singing along to practically every song, assuming people hadn't spotted him. The relationship became impossible to hide so, naturally, you went public with a video of him visiting you on tour, playing the piano backstage at one of the arenas to help you rehearse a song. The short clip quickly became a fan favorite to yours and Charles' relief.

The special and wholesome nature of your relationship left you so scared that your schedules would ruin it for the two of you at some point. You loved each other to death. You texted and called and facetimed each other endlessly but it was undeniable that it wasn't exactly normal for a couple to see each other less than once per month sometimes.

Eventually, it became an issue.

Eventually, both of you started realizing that the relationship was being built on texting, calls and facetimes. Not an ideal base in any way.

Eventually, you found yourself locked up in your tourbus, on a video call with Charles who was alone in his driver's room after a qualifying session that hadn't gone exactly well, the both of you choked up with the fear that the rough patch might just be the end of everything.

"It doesn't feel like a relationship anymore." He had said, his eyes dazed as he bit onto his lips from the anxiety the conversation was giving him.

"I know." You had answered with defeat, your eyes tearing up while imagining where this could go.

It terrified you when silence took over after the small sentence.

"I don't want to break up." Charles' voice was shaking as he said that.

"Me neither." The reply was instinctive.

There was close to nothing you wouldn't do to save the relationship.

Charles looked relieved, the next words leaving his mouth with so much ease, it made it obvious he's thought about them before, "We should move in together."

He had studied your reaction to his words so intensely, fearing that he was asking for too much.

"I would love it if you moved in with me. Actually, i want a fresh start with you, a new place that would be just ours, our own little world, an escape from everything. Monaco doesn't even feel like home anymore, the apartment doesn't feel like home anymore. There's always something missing and I'm pretty sure it's you... and i know it won't solve everything but at least we'll get to come home to each other, spend our breaks by each other's side instead of wasting days trying to decide who is flying to who or where to meet up. I just want to wake up next to you, see your stuff next to mine, fall asleep with you sleeping on my chest. I want to hear your presence nearby so life doesn't feel so lonely anymore."

You had stared at the screen for a long time, imagining every word he had said.

The house you owned was already far from your friends and family so moving a bit further wouldn't change a thing. Plus, you loved Monaco and could see yourself living there, especially if Charles was involved in those plans.

It barely took any further thoughts for you to nod with a smile, Charles leaning backwards in his seat in relief.

That weekend, Charles took the track and you took the stage with so much energy and positivity, everyone you both worked with had noticed it.

—

That is how you ended up watching an extremely confused Charles from your seat on the countertop as he tried to figure out the correct ingredients for a cake, a swipe of flour covering his cheek, a frown on his face and a bandana pushing back his hair.

After an extensive apartment-hunting week in Monaco, the two of you finally found a place to call home, a shared apartment that would be your shelter from the your hectic lives outside. It was perfect, overlooking the harbor, cozy but elegant and perfectly suited for both your tastes.

"Charles, let me help you." You suggested for the third time, a smile on your lips as you took in how adorably cute your boyfriend currently looked, an extremely confused expression furrowing his brows.

"No, baby. You already did the pizza dough." He nodded towards the oven where the pizza was being baked, "I want to make you something myself, a small welcome to Monaco, you know?" He grinned up at you, looking away from his phone where he was googling easy cake recipes.

Sighing in defeat, you relaxed against the wall behind you and preoccupied yourself with admiring Charles while he moved, more like fidgeted, around your shared kitchen.

After the long day of cleaning, unpacking, organizing and reorganizing, it was finally starting to sink in that this is your home with the person you wanted to spend all your days with, the same person that you had been barely able to see for the whole year the two of you had been dating. Now, in a very contrasting turn of events, you got to call him home.

Smiling at the thought, you exhaled out loud in content.

"What is it?" Charles glanced at you, smiling himself when he saw how much you looked at peace.

"Fuck...we actually live together, Charles." It came out as a chuckle that made him grin widely at you.

"Doesn't feel real yet."

You hopped off the counter and crossed the kitchen towards him, wrapping your arms around his waist while he was still facing the other way.

"It doesn't feel real but it definitely feels perfect."

Charles smiled at your statement, pulling you around and caging you between his body and the counter, a mindless smile still on his face as he leaned in, his lips meeting yours in a messy, playful kiss.

This was all new. Sure, you've been dating for a while but you never got the opportunity to kiss just because you felt like it, nor playfully and casually since your time together was always brief, always limited, making the kisses either heated or rushed but now, his lips were moving against yours so softly, almost delicately, his tongue lightly grazing against yours as you discovered new sides of each other.

His hands moved up, one resting gently on your neck as the other caressed your cheek just as you felt him smile into the kiss.

"Welcome home, baby." He pulled back and grinned at you, his dimples on full display and his eyes sparkling as if your heart needed more reasons to race. It was at times like this when you realized how much you loved him, at times when he felt so surreal but so yours.

You smiled at him and rested your head on his shoulder, your fingers tracing small patterns on the fabric of his shirt as he stared down at you with an adorable expression on his face, the small smile never falling off his face as he rubbed his hand on your back, feeling you relax into his touch.

"You're gonna let me help you with the cake so we can... do other things?" The question was delivered along with a soft kiss onto his neck then another one under his ear, "Or, you could welcome me with something other than a cake." You put as much distance between the two of you as was possible in this position so you could eye his reaction.

Charles was looking at you with raised eyebrows, amused eyes and a slightly tilted head.

"No, baby. Trust me, you're getting that kind of welcome and okay, maybe we can forget the cake but we're going to eat," he lifted you to sit on the counter, pushing himself between you legs, his lips immediately finding your slightly exposed shoulder, "because i'm done rushing."

Charles brushed your hair behind your ears, his eyes locking with yours for a second before he kissed you again, slow and determined like he was proving a point.

"I'm taking my time with you tonight, baby."

With that final statement and a peck to your neck, he walked away, grabbing the oven mittens to check on the food, only looking back at you for a second to give you one of his signature winks along with a smirk.

"Fuck, Charles... the food won't run away." You complained and received a declining sound from Charles as he took out the pizza, placed it on the counter and began cutting it.

To be fair, the food looked really good.

"Fine." You groaned and headed to the cupboards that had the plates and grabbed two, placing them neatly on the table in the dining room before going back to grab knives and forks, crossing Charles who was carrying the tray of food to the table.

After some minor last touches, the two of you sat to eat, genuinely happy in the simplicity of each other's company in a place that actually felt yours.

Charles seemed to be really excited about just having you by his side as he does things as simple as eating dinner. He was trying hard to balance eating and talking as he rushed stories of his childhood memories in this city that now you too called home.

"It's tiny, i know, but you'll love it here. I promise." He beamed at you as he ate his last bite, brushing his hands together to shake the flour remainings off.

"I know, i love it here already. You -i don't know how to say it- You're just so much happier, i guess, when you're in Monte Carlo. That alone is enough for me to love it." You replied as you too finished eating, catching Charles looking at you in a way that never failed to make you blush.

Following that, you headed back to the kitchen to rinse the dishes and load the dishwasher when a pair of strong arms wrapped around you, lifting you off the ground and walking off to the bedroom with you hoisted over his shoulder.

"Charles, i can walk, you know?"

"Well, not for long."

"Charles!" You squealed as he put you down on the bed and climbed on top of you, giggling and tickling your sides.

"We finally live together." He reminded you with so much excitement as he kissed your face, the both of you chuckling until his lips found yours, effectively changing the whole vibe, the kiss being hungry and needy this time.

"I love you so much." You breathed out the words as things escalated, Charles now fiddling with the back of your bra to get it off while his other hand toyed with your clit and his mouth sucked a hickey onto your neck.

"I love you too, so much." He said the words back just as he felt you grind down on his hand, wanting more.

"Just one second, baby." He assured you, kissing your forehead before tossing away the bra and making sure your panties quickly followed it before his head was between your thighs, his tongue working its magic on your clit. He had you arching your back within less than a minute, you hands moving down to tangle themselves in his hair only to find the material of his bandana slightly limiting the easy access. You mindlessly got rid of it, allowing your fingers to comfortably disappear between his locks as his hand held your other one tightly.

He made you cum multiple times with his fingers and mouth all while giving you small encouraging remarks until you were begging him to just fuck you, and he did.

"Your wishes are my command, angel." He had said before he slipped inside of you, making love to you soft and slow, his body as connected to yours as was possible, his lips never breaking contact with yours, muffling both of your moans while your arms remained wrapped around him, needing to feel him close to you, his skin against yours in such vulnerable moments.

Soon enough, your body shuddered beneath his and you let go, feeling the pressure exploding in your veins, Charles' release quickly following yours.

"Fuck, living with you might be the best thing to ever happen to me." He had said from beside you, still panting after his orgasm, his body glistening with a thin layer of sweat, his cheeks flushed and his lips plump from all the kissing. His arm was stretched out under your head, pulling you to him as you chuckled from his revelation.

"I always knew you were dating me for the sex, Leclerc." You had attempted to joke but Charles took it a bit seriously.

"Ah, tais toi!" Oh, shut up! He pulled you closer so your head was laying on his chest, his hand softly moving around the small of your back, "You know you're so much more than that, right? I mean, you have got to know because, quite honestly, the times we had sex in the past year can literally be counted and that wouldn't make sense but it's not even that. I love you so much, baby. Like, i don't know, i can't even really explain it but... but, yeah, i love you for so many things that are way more meaningful than sex." He went on a rant, wanting to prove you wrong.

"Baby, relax! I was only joking." You giggled, looking up at him, switching positions so you were laying on your stomach, half of your body on top of his as you reached up and cupped his face, moving your thumb softly along his cheek. Charles instinctively leaned into your touch, his eyes closing.

"Still... i don't like hearing you say that."

You nodded and gave him a soft kiss on the chest then dismissed the subject, getting up and putting on your underwear back on along with his shirt, causing him to grin like a lovesick teenager.

You smiled back at him and grabbed his arm to try to pull him out of bed.

"C'mon. We're gonna do some skin care." You proposed but his reaction contradicted yours as he groaned in complaint.

"Please..." you whined, grasping his hands tighter and pouting.

"Oh, no. Don't give me that face!"

"Charles, s'il te plais." please. You brought out one of the very few french expressions you knew, making him raise his eyebrows and giggle before his hand rubbed over his face.

His body relaxed and he allowed you to pull him up into a standing position, the french trick working like always. It reminded you that you needed to try learning the language again.

"Merci, baby." You smiled at him as he put on some boxers, fake glaring up at you through his lashes from his hunched position as you made your way to the bathroom but, as you expected, he was quick to follow you.

Charles watched as you laid out the various products you used usually before pulling out two headbands and turning to face him, moving closer to his body to push the hair out of his face with one.

His hands instantly moved to your waist as you put the headband on him while not-so-subtly admiring his features with a smile.

"How the hell are you so beautiful?" You chuckled, your hands resting on his bare chest while you continued studying his face.

The slight blush that painted his cheeks was unmissable, his eyes disappearing as he giggled, his dimples showing even as he tilted his head forward.

He pulled you closer, hugging you closer as his heart raced and you felt it against your skin. The fact that you had that effect in him was something you truly cherished.

"Have you seen yourself, baby? You're the most beautiful person I've seen." His fingers lifted your chin up and he pecked your lips, then your cheeks and forehead and before you knew it he was peppering small kisses all over your face.

"I love you." Charles said.

"I love you too, angel." You replied, your hands cupping his face for a moment, you body electrocuted with the love that was coursing through it.

With one final peck to the lips, he let go of you and you reached for your own headband, putting it on after tying your hair into a messy bun to get it out of your face.

"First, cleanser 'cause we don't have makeup on." You informed Charles as you grabbed the bottle.

He frowned and reached for a brightly colored jar, bringing it up to his line of sight to read the label.

"Can we use this? It looks fun."

"Yeah, sure, but this is a moisturizer so, at the end." You smiled at him as you foamed up the cleanser between your hands before gesturing for your boyfriend to come closer so you could put the product on his face.

Charles pushed out his head towards you, closing his eyes and pursing his lips so you could rub the cleanser onto his skin.

"Baby, you can talk and open your eyes, you know?" You chuckle and he peaked one eyes open to look at you.

"I don't want my eyes to burn." He complained.

"Oh, i'm sure you'll be fine, angel." You amusingly said then pecked his lips before starting to cleanse your own skin while he stood awkwardly with his eyes still closed and you watched him in the mirror.

"Baby, you look ridiculous." You laughed and Charles groaned.

"Can i wash it off?"

"Yes, of course! It's not a mask or anything."

Sighing in exaggerated relief, Charles grabbed a towel out of the cabinet and splashed water on his face, a couple droplets hitting you as he did so. You followed in his footsteps and washed the cleanser off.

"Now, this!" You grabbed one of your favorite mask. It did an amazing job soothing your skin and since it usually felt really nice and cool against your face, you knew Charles would like it.

"Wait, it's kind of cold." He proved you right as you applied it onto his face, his hand reaching up to swipe some off his face. You pushed his hand away and told him to leave it alone before you put on some yourself.

"We wait 15 minutes now."

You could practically see the idea spark in Charles' mind.

"I'll be back in a second." He walked out of the bathroom, disappearing out of your sight within seconds.

In the time he was gone, you grabbed your phone, checked for any texts and snapped a selfie in the mirror, intending to share it on your story. It was only then that you noticed the purple mark on your neck, making you blush like a teenager.

You saved the picture instead and went to search for your boyfriend when he appeared in the doorframe, carrying a bowl and his phone.

"I brought cucumbers!" He beamed, crunching on a slice as he spoke, "Now, we can look like we are at the spa."

Highly amused by this, you threw in a joke that you already knew was lame.

"Spa?" You made a driving motion with your hands, smiling as you spoke.

Charles narrowed his eyes and tilted his head, "Oh, come on! You know what i mean."

"Oui, i know what you mean." You grabbed a piece of cucumber and ate it, then another piece that you put on one of Charles' eyes.

"No, wait. I wanna put some music first." He grabbed your hand to stop you, unlocking his phone and scrolling through his music before clicking on a song and letting it play softly as he took a seat on the edge of the bathtub and covered his eyes with some cucumbers.

Smiling at the sight, you took a quick, discreet picture of him before you sat by the sink and mirrored his actions, loving that the picture was basically unsharable since he was in just his boxers, making it only yours to see.

While waiting for the time to be up, the two of you chatted about really random things, laughing so much that the cucumbers fell off a bunch of time until the both of you gave up on them. Instead, you had a small, silly photoshoot in the mirror than ended up with one of your favorite pictures of the two of you. Charles had one brow arched and was pouting his lips as he stood behind you while you were giggling at something he had said seconds earlier. It was a picture that would be kept between you and him only due to the choice of clothing, or lack of it thereof, and the painfully obvious mark on your neck.

Then, as his music shuffled, one of your songs came on. You rushed to skip it, groaning in a bit of annoyance but Charles pulled his phone away from you, telling you he loved that song, what left you inevitably enduring the awkwardness of listening to your own voice blasting out of your boyfriend's phone speakers. On the bright side, you got to witness Charles singing along to one of your songs what you found utterly adorable.

"You know, this was nice!" Charles admitted after he washed off the mask a few minutes later. You gave him an "i told you so" look as you patted your own face dry and grabbed the moisturizer that impressed him earlier.

You motioned for him to sit again and stood between his legs when he did, feeling his hands on the back of you thighs as you opened the jar and took a bit of product out, softly massaging it onto the entirety of his face, making sure not to miss any spots. He was smiling up at your the whole time, his eyes shining with all the love he had for you as he watched.

"Done!"

He grinned at you and admired as you moisturized your own skin.

"It feels like, it's really smooth." He gushed, touching his face repeatedly.

You laughed at that, "You were literally complaining just about half an hour ago."

He shrugged, waited for you to finish putting away the products before he pulled you to bed, slipping underneath the sheets with you pulled close to his chest. How could he not hold you so close when he's been dreaming of this for so long?

"Today was a bit tiring." He said, rubbing his eyes as he felt the sleepiness coming close to overpowering him.

"It was." You wrapped your arm around his waist, feeling so safe and serene with him so close, "But it was so worth it. Now i get to come home to you." A smile shone on you face as you looked up at him, finding that his gaze was already glued onto you.

"I love it so much, baby. You don't even know." His last word was interrupted by a yawn, "I love it so much that this is our bed, that you are actually here, not just an image on facetime while you talk from a completely different place. I love it so much that we don't have to calculate time zones as frequently as before, because let's be honest, that is kind of inevitable, and that you aren't a seven hour flight away from me." He lazily spoke, his arms tight around your body, one of his hands sliding down to move your leg so it was draping over his while you faced him and nuzzled your head into his chest.

"I love sleeping next to you too, angel. And I'm so thankful for you and for this. I don't think there is any greater comfort than sharing a home with you Charles. I don't know what i did to deserve you, to deserve so much happiness and love but I'll forever be grateful that you're the person i fell for."

With that, you hugged each other tightly and fell asleep in the safety of each other's arms, under a roof that you shared, not knowing what tomorrow would bring but still looking forward to it.

It was all so perfect.

#charles leclerc imagines #f1 x reader #f1 oneshots #f1 imagines #charles leclerc one shot #charles leclerc oneshots #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x you #f1 x you #charles leclerc smut

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decepti-thots · 1 year

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ok so. hm. this interests me. i was looking this up because i wanted to remind myself whether pharma and chromedome canonically met at the institute pre-canon (answer, yes). but i forgot pharma calls him tumbler. that seems... that's gotta be deliberate? (edited to give a sidenote: this is when it's revealed his name is 'tumbler' btw, so obviously it is, i mean more the decision to have it happen when he's been at the institute for some time already, i just realised that wasn't clear jdhsjk)

chromedome is a nickname he uses from the new institute, because all of them got head-themed nicknames. and i feel like generally i assume that he just wound up so entrenched in the institute that it was the only thing anyone ever called him for ages so he stopped using his old name when he left, because he didn't feel like that person anymore.

but pharma calls him tumbler here at the institute. i'm curious... why?

i can imagine pharma thinking it's unprofessional- or even unkind- to refer to patients with their (quite ghoulish really) nicknames, and insisting on using their pre-institute names. especially if mnemosurgeons having breakdowns like CD is pretty common due to guilt etc, i can see pharma being like, 'stop encouraging their self hatred, oh my god' and having medical staff etc use everyone's original names.

alternatively, maybe the nicknames were originally more of a kind of... inner clique thing? like, you have to be one of the people doing the nasty stuff to use the special nicknames, someone who Gets It. i can imagine creating a sense of solidarity between all the people doing the truly gnarly shit to encourage a sense of loyalty and obligation to not blab to outsiders who Don't Understand would be a priority of the institute. and i wouldn't imagine their onsite medics get included in that.

anyway this is a lot to say about one offhand panel but. it's so INTERESTING, chromedome literally using his institute name more once he's left, to the point almost noone knows it wasn't his original name anymore. that seems like a real guilt trip thing, tbh. which, lmao, well that's chromedome eh.

#idw #chromedome #pharma #meta

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p4tt4t4 · 13 days

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Let's talk about Chayanne being a glass child. It seems that this has been a topic that has been noticed for some time, but I just notice the last friday! Xd

Probably because I'm a glass child myself, and yes I do kinn/kin(? Chay, so I take most of these behaviors as normal unconsciously (I had decided that I would use Tumblr only to upload drawings but since twitter didn't pay much attention to this I'll post it here too because I need to share my opinion with people).

First of all, what is a glass child?

It's a sibling of someone who needs extra attention/support. A child whos parents see right through them, like glass.

In this case Chay is a sibling of someone who is given extra attention most of the time, in most occasions not exactly because she needed it.

Chay is a glass child.

Theres no room to even try to discuss that.

Lullah is a kid who is constantly given extra attention. Whatever reasons it happens won't be important for this thing I'm written/sharing.

Lullah is seeing as the little sister. A little sister who needs, who must be protected above everything (which affects Lullah to some extent negatively but we won't focus on that this time). Lullah is seeing as someone weak. Someone who always will need help.

(I'm talking about must people on the server, yes including q!Philza, except, specifically, q!Missa).

Lullah is the little princess who must be protected.

Now, who is Chayanne?

Chay is the big brother.

The oldest.

The warrior.

The strong one

The protector of his siblings.

Chay must be strong, Chay must aim to be the strongest not just fiscally. Chay is forced to be this big, strong, brave leader who everybody can trust. Chay is expected to be the one wich his sibling can and must put to take every important decision if there's no adult around at the moment.

Chay is expected to be closer to act like an adult than a child.

When something dangerous happens Chay is not a priority. His sibblings are. Lullah is the priority. Philza must be sure that Lullah is fine before checking anyone else. Before checking if Chay is okey.

Because Chay is strong. Because Chay can take care of himself alone. Because Chay "don't need" that kind of attention to say it somehow.

I am a big sister, as I said before, a glass child too, so I have lived similar things, obviously not to a death or live situation but I understand the feeling. So, I'm gonna try to explain the feeling the best way I can for people who aren't a glass child.

As a big brother, as the warrior, the example, the leader, the protector he probably thinks that this kind of thinking is fine.

But I can assure it is not fine.

But I can't assure that Chay feels exactly like what I'm gonna said, because if he does feel like it, he would never show it to his dad therefore neither to us. He would do everything in his power to not show that he feels like this (I will explain why later). So I have no way of guaranteeing that he does feel like the following, either way he could feel this way and that's why we are talking about it.

Glass childs can feel jealous for theirs sibling. And it's an awful feeling. At the same time they can feel bad of being jealous of their sibling because they think that feeling like that is selfish. That They are being selfish by feeling that.

Because what right do they have to feel like that? Their sibling needs that attention. They can be fine without that attention. Thay must be fine without that attention. Because if they aren't, what kind of sibling are they?

Because is not like their sibling nor parents wants them to feel like they are being overlook. Because is not that their parents "loves them less". Is just because their sibling needs their parents attention more than them. And they must live with that. They must be good little kids that don't create more problems, more stress, nor to their sibling nor parents. Thats their job. To be one less problem.

The expectation of Chay is that he must be the one to fight for his sibling. Chay is expected to give everything in his power to assure the well being of Lullah.

Chay do like being strong, Chay do like to fight and protect. But when you are forced to the extreme of this things, of being strong all the time, of feeling the need to fight in every dangerous situation, to help, and to feel that you are always protecting and never being protected is exhausting.

As the big brother, the strongest, how could he tell ANYBODY that he is feeling exhausted of doing his job?

He can't show that that is making him feel sad, nor exhausted, nor any negative emotion.

Because he can't be a problem. Because he "doesn't" need more attention nor care of Phil.

Lullah is expected to be sentimental and open about everything she feels. It doesn't matter if it's sadness or happiness. It's expected for Talullah to show her emotions.

Chayanne is expected to be fine. Chay is expected to not show at the same extension his emotions as Lullah, nor his sadness, nor his fears nor any "negative" emotion. It is "normal" for Chay to not show such emotions. It's not something strange.

Because Chay sees his value on how well he can take care of his family, of Talullah.

He sees his value on how well he can perform as this big, strong, brave brother.

I will develop this using an example of Chay being treated as a glass child.

The last friday, Philza goes and saves Lullah first. Then Chay. This is not that big of a deal, but what is big deal is what he says when Tubbo started saying that he has a favorite.

"Out of this two, I know that Chayanne would be a little bit more okey being alone for a bit longer."

Chay is expected to be fine.

Chay must be capable of being fine.

Chay must be fine with Phil being more worried about Talullah than him.

Chay must be fine with Philza not being that worry about him because he has going to be okey.

And how does Chayanne react?

He said nothing. He literally didn't show any inmidiate reaction. He look at his dad for a moment and then look at what Lullah wanted to say. And just after Phil said that he is his little warrior, that he is strong, that he fight him and won he spoke.

He said that it was not great fighting Philza. And of course Phil said sorry... And that's it. Talullah is the one who mention (in a joke but still mention it) about Philza implying that he wasn't worry about Chay.

Chay is expected to be fine alone. To not need help as much as Lullah.

#qsmp #qsmp philza #qsmp chayanne #death family

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