#(took out the edit bc its been a full day since someone was mean to me for not liking ralsei PLEASE be good)

[hellspawnmotel]

maybe we’re friends

#ever considered that huh #deltarune #kris dreemurr #the player #ralsei #noelle holiday #its been long enough i dont need to tag this as spoilers right #art tag #ALSO TO BE CLEAR i dont dislike ralsei i just dont trust him at all #i actually like him better in ch 2 than ch 1 bc i have more reason not to trust him lol #(took out the edit bc its been a full day since someone was mean to me for not liking ralsei PLEASE be good)

[dameronology]

the one with all the yelling {obi-wan x reader}

summary: after making a stupid decision in battle and having an argument with your best friend, a confession slips out that surprises both of you (or maybe it doesn’t)

this is a reupload bc i took it down for editing. as usual, this has lots of swearing in, just a pre-warning. enjoy!!

- jazz

They say that time slows down when you’re about to die - that your life flashes before your very eyes. You’re supposed to see the thing you love most, the people you value most. It was meant to be a final moment filled with a lifetime of emotions, of memories; regrets and mistakes; unfulfilled wishes and incomplete to do lists. The way it was described was hauntingly poetic, the sort of thing almost made you want to to experience it just so that you could understand what it felt like.

And, having witnessed a near-death experience in recent hours, you could safely conclude that everything in the aforementioned paragraph was a steaming pile of horse shit.

There was nothing graceful or cinematic about the way you had yeeted yourself across the battle-field, mud unceremoniously flying up around your ass as you kicked Obi-Wan Kenobi out of the line of fire. The blaster fire was inches away from your face - mere inches - and that, of all things, was when you figured the final moments might have come.

Instead, all you got was a hit to the shoulder and a mouth full of dirt. You were very much alive - but after coughing up an unflattering amount of earth and clambering back to your feet with all the grace of a beached whale, the same could not be said for your dignity.

At the forefront of things, you’d been trying to save your best friend’s life. That was all you could think about when you’d launched yourself discourteously towards Obi-Wan; he couldn’t die. Too many people - yourself included - needed him. And, you were certain that if you hadn’t been killed saving his ass, the sudden lack of reason from his presence in your life would have killed you anyways. The man stopped you from walking into traffic on the daily.

You weren’t entirely sure what to say to Obi-Wan. You were sitting on the end of his bed, fresh out of the shower and bundled up in an oversized tunic that belonged to the man pacing in front of you. For a man of many words, he was disturbingly quiet as he stitched you up and even more so when he helped you undress and get into the shower.

What sort of thing were you supposed to say in this situation? Sorry that I booted you up the arse and sent you flying six foot through the air? I had your best interests at heart, I promise.

‘Personally, I am rather pleased with the fact I am still alive.’ You broke the icy silence that had befallen you. Obi-Wan immediately stopped in his pacing tracks, head turning to face you with a bewildered look. Maybe that wasn’t the best conversation opener.

‘How could you…’ Obi-Wan went to say something but his words were lost. He’d witnessed you do a lot of stupid things but this one took the cake. This was stupid thing to end all stupid things. ‘Why would you - actually, I don’t even know what to say.’

‘I mean a thank you would probably suffice.’ You muttered. ‘I did just take a bullet for you.’

‘How could you have been so stupid?!’ He snapped. ‘You could have died!’

‘I was trying to save you!’ You reminded him.

Right. There was that - the alarmingly obvious thing that he’d been trying not to think about.

Obi-Wan couldn’t deny his feelings for you; you’d always been his slightly kooky best friend but maker, he adored you. Life as a Jedi could be dark but you were his nightlight - a soft glow to guide him to brighter things, to remind him that not all was lost.

He’d spent hours convincing himself that you didn’t feel the same. You were too busy running around with what Obi-Wan was certain was a singular brain cell, getting yourself into trouble and making questionable decisions. But, now that you’d quite literally thrown yourself into the line of fire for him? It was certainly a compelling piece of evidence to the contrary.

(Of course, you loved him too. You’d been in love with him since the day you’d met. That was a minor detail you’d chosen not to mention to him - avoiding the truth wasn’t the same as lying, right?)

‘I don’t need saving.’ Obi-Wan said.

‘Oh, please.’ You snorted. ‘You might be Jedi Master Kenobi of the High Jedi Council, Best Jedi To Ever Jedi and Regular Shagger of the Jedi Code-’

‘- you used the word Jedi a few too many times there-’

‘- but you are not bulletproof!’

‘Neither are you!’

‘But I’m alive, aren’t I?’ Your tone was suddenly soft. ‘I’m in one piece.’

‘Barely.’ He murmured. ‘You can’t do things like that.’

‘Well, I did.’ You would have raised your voice louder had your shoulder not been screaming in pain. ‘And stomping around like a pissy toddler isn’t going to change it.’

The most terrifying part - for both of you, truthfully speaking - was how quickly you had done it. You hadn’t even thought about it; you saw red and you launched yourself into the blaster’s path without even considering the consequences. The most important thing to you in that moment had been that Obi-Wan’s life was at risk and it had led to a sudden disregard for your own.

‘I’ll get better.’ You continued. ‘I’m only signed off for a few weeks and as soon as I’m on the mend I will be back in the field. It’ll be like nothing ever happened-’

‘- but it did happen.’ Obi-Wan cut you off. ‘I’m always going to remember that you risked your life for me without even having to think about it.’

Grabbing onto the poster of his bed, you pulled yourself up and slowly approached him. Obi-Wan almost backed away when his robe inched off your shoulders, revealing the nasty red gash just by your collarbone. The idea quickly slipped away, however, when you rested your hands on his forearms, hands slipping under his sleeves and intertwining your fingers.

‘What else would I do?’ You softly laughed. ‘It’s you, Obi.’

‘Would you have done the same for someone else?’ He asked. ‘For Anakin? Or for Ahsoka?’

You faltered slightly, grip on him loosening a tiny bit. ‘Of course.’

‘Y/N.’

‘What?’

‘Don’t lie.’ He suddenly jerked his hands away from you, spinning around on his heel so that you were suddenly facing his back.

‘Fine.’ You grumbled. ‘I would only do it for you. I would only blindly throw myself in front of a bullet for you. Not anyone else. Not a single soul. Does that make you happy? Does that inflate your ego enough, Kenobi-’

‘- that’s not what this is about.’

‘Then tell me!’ You let out a small groan of pain as you grabbed him by the material of his shirt, using every last ounce of energy to make him look at you again. ‘Tell me what it’s about because you are not making sense and I am the world’s leading expert in that field.’

‘It’s not about anything.’

‘Oh, bullshit!’ You whacked his arm, adrenaline worming its way into your tired body and finally allowing you to raise your voice. ‘I just saved your fucking life and you’re acting like a moody son of a bitch and accusing me of lying!’

‘It’s because I love you!’

‘Well, I love you too!’

‘Great!’

‘Fine!’

‘Wonderful!’

‘Brilliant!’

‘Well I’m glad we cleared that up!’

‘Me too!’

‘We should probably stop shouting!’

‘Good idea!’

You unballed your fists just in time to catch the material of Obi-Wan’s shirt as he stepped towards you, taking you by the waist and pulling you towards him. He crashed his lips into yours, knocking the air from your lungs as he did. You’d thought about kissing him many times - more than you were willing to admit, actually - but now that you were actually here, with a handle tangled in his soft hair and his warm lips moving against yours?

Nothing could have prepared you for this moment - for the declaration of love or the kiss or the way he was holding onto you, hands desperately gripping to your waist as though you were about to slip away into the darkness of the galaxy and leave him alone forever. Just a few hours ago, that had been a very real possibility.

You’d admitted to yourself earlier that you probably couldn’t have survived in a world without Obi-Wan Kenobi. Little did you know that he’d admitted to himself years before that he couldn’t have survived without you.

‘I love you.’ His words were softer now, barely a whisper against your lips as pressed his forehead to yours.

‘If I’d known that almost dying was all it took to make you tell me, I would have done it years-’

‘-Y/N.’ He groaned.

‘Sorry.’ You smiled softly. ‘I love you too.’

#obi-wan x reader #obi-wan kenobi x reader #obi-wan x you #obi-wan kenobi x you #obi-wan imagine #obi-wan kenobi imagine #obi wan x reader #obi wan x you #obi wan kenobi x reader #obi wan kenobi imagine #star wars x reader #star wars x you #star wars imagines

[shotorozu]

you have people simping for you

characters : midoriya izuku, shinsou hitoshi, todoroki shouto

fic type : headcanons [fluff, kinda spicy in one part]

legend : [Y/N = your name] they/them pronouns used, all might’s daughter reader in izuku and shouto’s part. (telekinetic quirk mentioned briefly)

notes : yeah so.. i’m still emptying my requests, SO TO THE ANON THAT REQUESTED DONT WORRY I’LL DO IT :)) also i didn’t post yesterday because it,, didn’t feel appropriate to be writing about anime characters, meanwhile someone’s life has been taken from them because of something they didn’t even do??

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

midoriya izuku

okay, so this is how things happened

you know on tiktok, some people make those “___ hits different here” videos

yeah, that’s your type of simp

in short— you blew up on tiktok and you didn’t even know.

does izuku have tiktok? tbh he doesn’t look like the type, but he’d have it for sure

but because everyone in the hero course is so busy, he rarely goes on it

but his fyp is full of all might for sure

anyway, he has some spare time— and you’re still washing up the plates from dinner and you begged him to rest

so, he’s scrolling, and he sees

you??

but the context was “all might’s daughter hits different here.” and its a clip of you from the sports festival just breathing

(it was you with the doja cat streets audio)

izuku was like 😳

he later discovers that you have an entire hashtag dedicated to you.

he’s always seen you as attractive but he wasn’t aware that you had an entire hashtag

he’s shook

so you walk in and he’s like 👁👁 looking at you like a million flashbacks are playing in his brain

and you look at his phone, and you realize it.

lowkey, he got jealous of the comments, and got a little down like a sad puppy

but he comes to realize that you’re his, and he knows you won’t trade him for anything else

(he posted one video flexing you, and he kept it up for an hour before he took it down. it got like.. 500k views)

shinsou hitoshi

kinda smug, kinda insecure

like yeah, you’re hot.

he’s definitely seen people eye you as you pass by them

and it’s priceless to see their reaction upon seeing your face for the first time.

people’s genuine reaction to seeing your pretty face makes him proud.

and he kinda teases you for it “you see that kitten? they’re drooling over you y’know.”

“shut up ‘toshi”

but.. did he know you had an entire side on tiktok? no.

he’d assume that’s a celebrity thing, but you know how this generation is like..

shinsou again, is on skater tiktok, so he’d probably stumble upon you somehow by accident

because his fyp is kinda full of pretty girls, but he always scrolls when he sees them, so don’t worry :))

clicking on your hashtag, he sees people literally simping over you catching your breath in the sports festival

and you just.. standing there

damn, they need to touch some grass

but ngl, you’re hot. the music makes you hotter, and the edits make you hotter

you’re just.. hot

he’s proud that people have finally recognized you, and there’s a mutual agreement that yes—

Y/N is a hottie

but!! is he a little worried you’ll leave him for someone else because of these simps? there are people constantly hitting you up

but oh boy, does shinsou need to know that he’s the only one you need

and he WILL duet one of those simp videos, showing you off.

todoroki shouto

is this how you feel like everyday?

i mean.. a lot of people simp for him too, he’s just.. not conscious of it.

being all might and endeavor’s child means something, and it means that you’ll probably appear in the media at least once.

you both casually cause some bi panic

shouto doesn’t have tiktok because.. why have tiktok when he has you, y’know?

he finds out when the bakusquad is staring at an edit of you

he’s a little confused as to why some stranger made an edit of you just.. sitting down

but!! it hits so much harder ngl

does he become a little protective because of these tiktoks? maybe.

he trusts you a lot, but.. grr.

at least now shouto knows how you feel whenever some fangirl simps over him openly

won’t really tell you about Y/N-tok or all might’s daughter tiktok as an entirely separate conversation.

but he’ll just bring it up one day while you’re rambling to him while cuddling

“you’re tiktok famous.”

“huh? i don’t even have a tiktok.” you’re not allowed to have a public account bc of your dad, so how are you famous on tiktok??

“you are though. a lot of people think you’re pretty.”

“oh really?”

“yeah. i think you’re beautiful. so i can’t be too mad at them.”

“too mad??” you ask, and he’ll just hide his face— expression bashful.

“i won’t leave you,” you laugh, peppering kisses on his cheek, “you’re a lot better than faceless people on the internet.”

will post a video of you, and he’ll be like 🧍they’re mine

and it’ll get 1.9M views

in short- shouto deals with it just fine, since you deal with shouto’s fangirls on a daily basis anyway.

　　　　　　　

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei. i only own the writing

do not plagiarize my work :))

#bnha imagines #bnha x reader #mha x reader #mha imagines #bnha x y/n #bnha fluff #todoroki shouto x reader #todoroki x reader #midoriya izuku x reader #todoroki x you #todoroki imagines #midoriya x reader #midoriya x y/n #todoroki x y/n #shinsoh hitoshi x reader #shinsou hitoshi x y/n #shinsou imagines #midoriya imagines #shinsou x reader #shinsou hitoshi x you #bnha headcanons #mha headcanons #THIS ONE ALSO HAS OVER 1K TF #thanks for 1k 🤍 #THIS ONE ALSO HAS 1K— thanks for 1k 🤍

[cttrajan1206]

#arrow sys#Love them#Absolute sweethearts all of em#And suoer fun to sprint with

FIRST OF ALL SOBS /pos

second,,, i know nothing abt twst or obey me but grabby hands at a ramble; i will absolutely listen if you wanted to talk about it :starry:

JSHDJF [WAILS ALOUD] I TOOK SO LONG SO GET BACK TO YOU THAT I FINISHED ONE OF THE WIPS IN THAT TIME LMAO!!

Well!! This is good promo! :> The one that i was typing up is finished now and it's the obey me fic! You can find it here:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/33644662

Mammon and Movies:

Basically! Someone read another fic of mine that included my self insert flappy stimming and also getting mental breakdown so it asked if i could include a couple other stims in another work since he enjoyed my first one! I. Took that request and made an entire fic dedicated to him lmao. So! I asked it later on for what it would like me to include and which character to use and here we are!

This is a 4K fic of Mammon from Obey Me paired with a Neurodivergent!Reader. The plot is that of him showing you a magic trick and smoothly whipping out a movie ticket!! You've been wanting to ask him to see a movie with you for a while so this is perfect! So perfect in fact that you're overwhelmed with happiness and have a brief moment of being nonverbal as you're overwhelmed with euphoria. Then the next day, you meet him at the venue and the date begins! Other scenes include him allowing you to hold onto his bracelets as it's one of your stims (he wears one of every texture to accomodate to your tastes), you dissociating out of anxiety in a movie theatre and him helping to ground you, and finally! Him sleeping on your shoulder before the movie ends.

Ik i kinda just said the majority of the plot lmao but! Its just a fluffy and sweet movie date! I enjoyed writing it a lot although i got about 80% of it done a month ago and tyn didn't touch it for like 2 weeks sjdbsjd i was p sad abt that. I like finishing things quickly esp when its for other people!! But it was a comfort during a hard time to write this work at 2am under the light of a night lamp and to the tune of street life ambience.

ALSO I FOUND OUT THAT MAMMONS OFFICIAL SONG "ARE YOU READY" LEGIT HAS NO HOURLONG LOOPS AND THAT WAS A HARD HIT TO ME BC LIKE I WANTED TO LISTEN TO IT ON TV BUT IT WASNT HAPPENINGGG TWT WHY DOES EVERYONE LIKE ALL THE OTHER OTHER BROTHER'S SONGS INSTEAD LIKE PLSSS

Anyway lmao i'm quite happy with this work, it feels very round and finished to me which makes me happy because it means I didn't need to worry about editing it to feel satisfied. The requester liked it a lot too! Which made me super super happy. :>

Now!! For the twisted wonderland!! That’s a comfort plotline of mine that doesn’t really have a title yet and is still a wip that is written through my friend’s DMs BUT! I will also take the time to promo my twst writing blog! It is dead QvQ On there, you can see a bit more about the self insert in question but for now, i’ll just put the ship name as the title.

https://twst-sumi-squad.tumblr.com/

Kalim Al-Asim X Sumi Bint Khattar (Plot line):

So!! This one stemmed from me drawing something out of self indulgence and to show it to my friend, I described Sumi B in full and then I told them about my ships and around that time I had like five love songs I was obsessed with. And for each of them. I had. A separate animatic. For like at least 1 ship, the average was two but one had three. Sumi B was the centre of the most ships but not the only one. Anyway!! I told my friend about this and asked if I could dump my ideas onto them! They agreed and I started with a summarised version but then realised I needed a bit more build up so I started to write it in a bit more detail. Hah. It ended up being a Lot More Detailed but even then, I would write the scenes in a much more fluid and descriptive way if it were Real Writing so! I call it a Plotline. It is very long.

The plot itself is. long now. it’s a slowburn lmao because most if not all of my self insert ships tend to be slowburns. But this one? This particular self insert? Sumi B? Yeah she’s the only one with trust issues so she mothers the BIGGEST slowburns known to history. It takes them a year before she even considers him a friend despite seeing him every day and also having multiple deep conversations with him. Anyway though, this one is a big comfort becuase it has something I didn’t really dare to do before. Kalim, the canon character, falls in love with my oc first. Normally I have it the other way round becuase I’m too scared to assume that I would be like, deserving or like desirable enough for someone to have a crush on me. But with Sumi B, even I have a goddamn crush on her lmao. I indulge myself a bit with this one and really play around with emotions and!! In the most recent scene! We have finally reached the part where she actually starts to love him back! :D

I started this one a loooong time ago, at least a month and maybe two? It was Intended to be finsiehd in one night and then i got carried away and my friend got invested and then I ALSO got invested and so I started to develop the plot further so make it more interesting and keep the buildup going. It’s very fun and though i try to limit myself to summarising actions and dialogue, i fail. very often. so it often has little tidbits of more beautiful sentences and tension lmao. 

This particular fic is based off of my imagined animatic for the song “Would you be so kind” by Dodie! I didn’t know about the song until i saw other people’s animatics and I ended up taking it and running away haha! I’m currently really happy with it however I am really dreading the day where I actually write it out properly. If I don’t? I don’t know. Maybe I’ll post the plotline by itself. I have another fic just like it, one with a different self insert who (in fact) is very very close with Sumi B and considers her his older sister, that i ALSO wrote in semi detailed plot lines in someone’s DMs. Both are massive comforts to me and though i love them, their plot lines are so goddamn long that i will dread the day i decide to write them all out.

So uhm!!! Yeah!! XDD Those are the two fics I was talking about! I hope you enjoyed my small ramblings about them haha. I’m starting college soon though so I fear I might have much more time for fanfic.

#cttrajan #arrow sys #OBEY ME #obey me! #obey me mammon #mammon x reader #mammon x neurodivergent!reader #neurodivergent reader #fanfic #drabbles #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland #kalim al asim #kalim al asim x oc #self inserts #ramble #sodifhgsdfg #man #lots of tags #many of them #so many #this is purely bc i wanna promote myself a little bit for once #sorry if you see this bc of one of the fandom tags and just dont have any interest in it lmaoo

[kuekyuuq]

Gloria, Jet-lags and Imps [6x11]

Let’s jump right in:

Kinda love how Kara lamp-shaded addressed the fact she didn't tell the gang about her adventures in the PZ. She’s not wrong, tho.

...what do I want to say about Mxy using what's basically a well-known gay-anthem to tell his tale? I mean, it didn’t lead anywhere. The original song is about freeing oneself, liberation, stepping out of a (gone bad) relationship and moving on, stronger for it - empowerment. The only connection I could make, is that originally it was Nyxly’s aim to just do that (freeing herself and her kind from an oppressor), but in the way Mxy performed it, that part of the parallel was long over before he even reached the chorus. It’s also a popular Karaoke song, tho, so... he chose it because it’s catchy? I’ll try not to overthink it for now. At least, the Superfriend’s reactions were fun.

Nia exiting the elevator, "And what's this Old Stone?" I love it when ppl enter a room / situation and pick up on words that they couldn't have possibly heard. I think cinema sins ding such... Are we to assume, she dreamed Mxy's rendition of ‘I will survive’? Or is the elevator not sound-proof at all? (If it’s the latter, Nia later apparently telling Brainy “in private” between scenes / during the elevator ride about her Nyxly adventures, was a silly thing to do.)

So, "Jared" created the ring Old Stone to rule them all, it got shattered into the Paragons totems? Nyxly needs the totems and to get them she needs a crystal which also belonged to "Jared" - who happens to be Mxy's ancestor, which is why she needs Mxy / his blood, too.

I have one important and incredibly relevant question here, tho... 

With the introduced imps and their names... Why’s dude named Jared of all things?!

Really, did I mishear that? If so, I’ll leave it as is and never edit, bc that would be hilarious in its own right 😋

...

Not sure what to make about Supergirl paraphrasing a Dirty Dancing quote.  "Nobody puts Mxy into a power crystal on my watch."  ...is he Baby now? (Seriously, though: Which of the writers thought that was a fitting quote to use in that particular context?)

...now, is the exposition section of the episode over yet?

Sensitive Brainy sensed something was up with Nia. He can relate... Nia doubting Kara would understand, too, is ridiculous. But I get it... insecurities and all. But, I mean, just 5 minutes later Kara announces she wants to save Nyxly despite her wrongdoings. And yet Nia still remains convinced, Kara wouldn’t forgive her own personal mini-me... After having witnessed Kara forgiving Lena for a whole season of the writers being stupid messing up to the nth degree. But I digress, Lena’s Lena.

...how old is Nia meant to be again? Just asking out of completely unrelated curiosity.

F*ck. They really went with NewFoundland...

Imma assume it was an executive choice after realizing they couldn’t find enough actors and actresses with a convincing Irish accent... maybe. Again, no offense to Newfoundland! Just... we got the insinuations of Ireland, not Newfoundland... And truthfully, when I think of magic, Ireland is an easy association. Whereas I only due to this whole debacle learned Newfoundland has Irish ancestry. So, okay, the show forced me to learn something new... I give ‘em that.

An easy journey, she said.

Lena's been off-screen for two whole episodes, Kara announcing at the beginning of ‘Dreamweaver’ [6x09] Lena being “back east” (at least insinuating Lena’s left the west-coast already), which span over at least one full day (feat. a scene at night), and ‘I still rise’ [6x10] at least another a whole day (the whole Nia’s mom back for a day deal). And, now, after at least 48 hours she barely just arrived.

Lemme check how long a regular plane would need to fly from California to NFL......... ... .. .. So... approx. 10 hours with at least one layover. 

Yeah, using a private jet made it easier, but apparently also much, much slower...

Or, Lena randomly went some other places / did some sight-seeing in NFL before she decided to finally visit her mother’s hometown...  [Either that or the timelines don’t match up and Lena’s scenes are flashbacks of sorts.]

Optimistic and relaxed Lena is a sight to behold. I rewound 3 times, just to enjoy it for as long as possible. We all knew it was going to be short-lived... 

Let’s check off a few more items...

OMG, Kara hiding behind Alex at the mere sight of the PZ-projector broke my heart!  😢

"Elisabeth Walsh" is the new 'the one you shall not name'. ...poor Lena. 😭

Oh, so Mxy wants to be Patrick Swayze instead of Baby... gotcha.

...is this going anywhere?

KITTY!!! Okay, this must be the best opponent in the history of CWSG. 

Despite the horrible CGI, SG using her heat-vision to project a laser-beam to distract the cat had me in (happy-) tears! 🤣

Gotta love the civilians of National City quickly returning to business as usual once the giant cat is gone. Even the police officers looked rather chill...

Nyxly did look fabulous this episode ^^ 

Andrea being Lena's rock is both great and annoying. I can't fault Andrea. It's just, that we still have to see an on-screen interaction between Lena and Kara and that bugs the heck out of me. I can’t help it. I’m sorry, Andrea.

Nia: "...is my fault." Kara: "Nu, is MY fault!" J'onn: "Stop fighting, kids!" Space-dad has spoken.

Mxy used an LuthorCorp copy machine... and of cos it's faulty. It's not an L-Corp product.

Kara forgiving Nia came as a surprise to her... Oooookay. I mean, the show has been writing Kara a bit inconsistently the past two seasons... so, yeah, maybe being unsure which of her traits apply this week was not such a far stretch...

Maybe it's the hair, but I wished, Florence was played by Alex Kingston.

So, not-Alex-Kingston shows Lena herself with a funny wig and tells her how her mother was still watching her...

If it wasn't for Katie's acting skills (I love her.) I would have already hit my head against the wall repeatedly. Something about these scenes had me constantly cringe and I made it through 5.5 seasons of this show already... Can’t quite put my finger on it, but it was highly distracting from the story that explained Lena’s mom was special even to another witch, where there was domestic abuse, and an accidental murder. Y’know, important stuff, deep-cutting stuff! 

At least, poor widddle Lena got some closure there. Elisabeth was a good cookie. And filled with magic. And Lena’s gotta have that ‘spark’, too... 

....so... Lena’s gonna stay in NFL for how much longer, to train becoming a witch?  Please, just hand her a how-to manual and send her back home, to figure it out on her own, please... (Yes, that would be horrible decision-making, but I need her back with the team!)

On to the finish line: 

So... Mxy IS Nyxly's brother? Wait, that doesn’t sound right... then Nyxly would have the same blood... Did I miss something? Can someone explain, please? Or is he her ex, and that’s where his rendition of “I will survive” makes sense?

Hnn... I can't help, but think Kara's speech for Nyxly was 85% based on her experiences with Lena in s05.

Awww... he said "stronger together"... Mxy... I hope, you'll be okay!

Lena believes in magic now. And I absolutely love how Lena wants to science magic XD

...but apparently magic isn’t science that hasn’t been explained yet, but parallel... powers? concepts? ether strings?

Nyxly has a loyal henchman now. Which was a bit heavy-handed. Took way too much of screen-time, so it better leads to something interesting.

And Kara is on a warpath now. Wooooot! Girl’s got enough.

...what else? 

Did I miss a third Patrick Swayze hint / quote / mention?  I learned, these things come in threes... Y’know, basic writing rules... 

I guess, for once the episode title was meant to be taken literally, Mxy popping up between characters, to try and help. (I need in-show footage, of Mxy sneaking up on ppl, without his powers, on all fours / crouched, just to get the desired effect.) I mean, I’ve never really watched Malcom, but wasn’t he like what Mxy usually is? A bit of a trouble-maker, prankster, chaos-ensuing wherever he goes? ...well, in that case, the episode title didn’t hold up, as Mxy’s scenes were not fun or really goofy. Yes, there was some superficial humor, but just to serve Mxy dealing with not being able to use his powers, which in turn was only barely scratched at (although it turned out to be his final character development crisis, appreciating not having powers and - in turn - facing consequences for once). Again, a whole lot going on in the episode, so a lot of that may have ended up on the cutting-room floor.

...where’s Kelly? Secretly adopting a kid, maybe?

...Kara’s still a reporter, right? I mean, whenever it serves the immediate plot, yes? ...Not even a throw-away line, that she has to pop up at CatCo for appearances sake? Since Andrea is already upset with her AND looking into her friends’ identities? At least, Kara should take a peek to make sure Andrea hasn’t uncovered anything yet... No?

Well, that’s all I’ve got for now. Kue out.

#Supergirl #supercorp #Mxy in the middle #6x11 #mxy #nyxly #lena luthor #magic #lena's mom #fiction dissected #fandom #episode #Nia nal #dreamer #brainy #brainia

[ddaenggtan]

say you want passion (i think you found it) | M

you’re a tease. he’s tired of it.

pairing | shownu x fem!reader

wc | 6.5k

genre/warning | Covid doesnt exist sorry, big dick shownu, sweetheart shownu, dom shownu, sub reader, shownu is called hyunwoo in this, he also likes to be called daddy dont judge, sloppy blowjobs, but still, blowjobs, Shownu eats pussy like a CHAMP, Strength Kink, praise, degradation, degrading praise, this is HIGHLY specialized, you've been warned, deepthroating, DEEP deepthroating at that, nsfw pictures, aka shownu likes to remember it when he does a good job so he takes a picture bc it lasts longer uwu, talking with your mouth full (ill let u guess), doggystyle, teasing, brief nipple play, hickeys, begging, dumbification, rough sex, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, coming inside, gspot shenanigans, this is genuinely so unrealistic please do not think sex is like this ever in real life, i mean literally ever if you ever fuck someone and it's like this then they aren't real they're a fae or a god or some shit okay, aftercare, shownu uses 3-in-1 because He Does, Barely Edited by the grace of @personawife​‘s beta that she fit in when she could ilu, 

a/n | first n last shownu smut specifically bc its leilas birthday (@honiboyyoon​). u better enjoy this. (side note for anyone who isn’t into shownu smut, but is curious: there’s a namjoon version on ao3 that i’ll link here), but this took entirely too much effort and i did my damndest to fit as many things that ur into in this one fic as i possibly could. i hope this makes up for u probably never getting the vampire maknae line foursome i kept promising you sdfkldjsfasdf

The front door opens as you step out of the car, and you grin as your boyfriend appears in the frame. He grins at you and your best friend and you search his expression for a sign of anything other than his usual sweetness, but find none. You resist the urge to pout - you won’t give him the satisfaction. 

“Good luck!” Your best friend teases. You roll your eyes at her - she knows precisely what you envisioned upon arriving back to the quaint little house you call home with Hyunwoo. It’s the reason you wore this outfit, and tried on the clothes you did whilst shopping, and sent him selfies in the poses you did. 

You’re on a mission, dammit. It’s been weeks - literal weeks, not even an exaggeration - since you were properly fucked, and you’re fairly tired of prancing around the house in your shortest shorts and deepest v-necks so that when you bend over just right to water your fern, he gets the perfect eyeful. It’s exhausting to try to send all these signals all day every day - but you know how flustered he gets when you ask him directly, so you tried a different tactic. You were being nice!

And it hasn’t worked. At all. He’s offered to help you water your plants, to let you borrow his flannel pajamas in case you’re cold, and even to buy you a sweater, at one point. 

In August. 

So suffice to say, you’re getting a little tired of him being oblivious. So you’d called up your best friend and invited her to go shopping with you, and yes, it was also very fun to hang out with her and get boba, but she’s also the master of hyping you up and making you feel sexy and desirable, so it was truly a win-win.

Plus, she color-coordinated her own houndstooth pantsuit with your pink houndstooth skirt/blazer combo, so really, you should send her a fruit basket or something. Maybe cookies. 

The point remains that your boyfriend hasn’t responded to any of your borderline pornographic selfies or the very pointed videos of you holding various sex toys and asking if it would fit. You’re at your wit’s end, and you were really hoping that it would truly get through to him this time that you want nothing more than to be railed against the mattress so hard that you cry. 

You’re a simple girl, after all. 

But no! He’s got that sweet smile on his face as you carry your shopping bags in one hand and your purse in the other, carefully sidestepping the cosmos he’d just planted the other day so you wouldn’t step all over his hard work. His smile widens when you reach the door, and he presses a sweet, gentle kiss against your forehead that has you on the verge of tears. 

He waves again to your best friend as she drives off, and as usual snags your shopping bags out of your hand so he can place them beside the door. You’ve already pulled your blazer off to hang in the entryway closet by the time he’s shut the door, and you gasp as you’re jerked back. His hands are on either side of your head, braced against the front door like it’s the only thing keeping him up, and you struggle to focus on anything that isn’t the way his muscles flex.

“Do you have any idea what today was like for me?” He growls. The sound of it brings heat between your thighs, and you resist the urge to cheer. 

“Sorry, should I not have sent you any selfies today?” You ask, keeping your voice as light and innocent as you can. He makes eye contact with you; there’s a fire in his eyes you haven’t seen in what feels like forever. “Did you not like them?”

“You know damn well what I thought of them,” he mutters, one hand coming down to rest on your hip. “I’ve tried so hard lately, y’know? The tiny shorts with your ass hanging out, the shirts that show everything when you bend over. God, the bending.”

“Really?” You breathe. It’s always exhilarating to know that you’re desired, but this is nearly heady. He fixes his gaze on you, eyes burning, and your smile softens slightly. 

“I was trying,” he says, clearly holding himself back, “To be a good boyfriend. To make sure that you know that I want more from you than just sex, and that I value you as more than just someone attractive. I was trying so hard to prove that you– that we have more between us than that. That I respect you more than that.”

“So don’t respect me.” You say it like it’s obvious, because it is. You’ve been laying down signals galore the past few weeks, and clearly he did not get the memo. 

“I’m always going to respect you,” he says instead, sighing slightly as he leans in to press his forehead against yours. “I don’t want to disrespect you, you’re worth more than that. But fuck, all I wanna do is fuck you stupid right now.”

“Please,” you whisper, biting your lip. It’s all you’ve wanted for weeks and now you might finally - finally - get it. “Disrespect me, daddy.”

The hand on your hip tightens, no doubt bruising the skin, and you gasp at the feeling. Hyunwoo makes eye contact - just long enough to make sure that you’re on board for whatever it is he’s about to do. 

He could probably suggest a number of things that you’ve never considered and you’d say yes, at this point - you’re not ashamed to admit that you’re desperate. 

The hand on your hips lowers - he traces all the way down your thigh and to the back of your knee before travelling back up, this time under your skirt. He kisses you as he does it - long, heated kisses that make your head spin so perfectly that you don’t know what he’s doing until he glides a finger across your clothed core. 

You gasp into the kiss, but it doesn’t deter him. He pulls down, kissing and biting down your jaw to your neck as his fingers trace over you once more. You can feel him smile against your skin. 

“You’re already soaked,” he tuts. “You’ve ruined this pair, princess. How naughty of you. Would you like daddy to take them off?”

“Yes!” You moan as his fingers ghost over your folds once more. 

“Yes what?” He asks, and you could cry with how much you want him. 

“Yes, daddy,” you tell him, and he smiles once more. It’s blinding, how bright he is when he smiles like that, and for a second you’re breathless. Then you feel them - his hands, burning a trail along your thigh to tug at the band of your underwear. It only takes him a few seconds to pull them down as he bends, and he kisses your thigh as he brings one of your legs up so he can slide them off completely. 

He was right - they are ruined, the evidence of your arousal immediately apparent by the large wet spot in the center. He doesn’t bother to slide them off your other leg, though - just lets them hang from your ankle, no doubt as a reminder of how strongly he affects you.

He presses kisses to every bit of skin he can as he stands fully upright once more, suckling a mark into your collarbone that you’ll absolutely cherish when you have to cover it up before work tomorrow. 

His hands don’t leave your thighs - warm and strong and utterly distracting, you can’t take your mind off them as he kisses you again, heady and intoxicating. You feel it as one hand travels back underneath your skirt again, gliding between your thighs. 

A moan sticks in your throat as his fingers slide in between your folds - the feeling of them teasing against your hole before they move to rub light circles into your clit is nearly too much to handle. 

“Hyunwoo, please–”

“Patience,” he interrupts. You can hear the smile in his voice as he slides over your hole once more, spreading your arousal across your lips before teasing your clit again. “Good girls have patience, right, princess?”

You whimper, hips arching off the door to try to guide his finger inside of you. It’s a futile attempt - he just returns to the slow, infuriating circles on your clit, and you would cry if it didn’t feel as good as it does. 

It could be hours or it could be seconds that he continues this pattern - slow, maddening circles on your clit, then the slightest bit of a tease at your hole, just enough to make you think that maybe he’ll fuck you with his fingers, before he returns to the circles. It’s enough to make a stronger woman cry, and you can’t help the whines that you let out when he once again deprives you of the fuck you so desperately want. 

“Please just fuck me,” you finally break, hands moving from where they’re wrapped around his neck to circle his waist and do your best to pull him in closer. You can feel him against your thigh, warm and thick and big, and you want him. 

He hisses when you grind against him, and the one hand that remains on your hip tightens ever so slightly. “You’re being very bad, princess,” he chastises, but you couldn’t care less. Your mind is focused on the memory of what he felt like inside you, and you’re ready to burst with need.

“I don’t care,” you tell him firmly, hands sliding up under his shirt to run your nails against his muscled torso. “I don’t care, I need you, please, I just want–”

“I know,” he cuts you off. His hands disappear from you entirely, but only for a moment - before you know it, two large hands wrap around your wrists, guiding yours out of his shirt. You can't stop whimpering, caught between the memory of the last time he was between your thighs and the reality of his lips against your skin.

Hyunwoo drops - he hits the wooden floor with a muffled thud, and before you can even react, his hands are underneath your skirt. He pushes it upwards, muttering something almost reverent about thighs as he does, and then he’s pressing soft kisses to the inside of your thighs. His hands don’t stop, though - they keep going, shoving your skirt up until it pools around your waist.

“H-Hyunwoo—”

“Ssh,” he whispers, giving your thigh a light bite. A heartbeat later and you can feel his warm breath against your folds. “You wanted to feel good, right?”

“Yes, please,” you breathe, hands instinctively tangling in his soft brown hair. 

“Then be a good slut for me, and stay still while I make you feel good." 

You stifle a whimper - he knows what his words do to you, and you jolt as his tongue gently nudges against your folds. There's no stopping the soft sigh that falls from your lips as he delves deeper, ghosting across your swollen clit to nudge against your hole. He's tentative, teasing with his movements - he likes to make you wait, tease you until you're grinding against his mouth.

You doubt this will be an exception.

A moan is thrust out of you as you feel your hole stretch slightly. Not much, not far - just enough to accommodate him as he fucks your hole with his tongue. It's just the right side of unsatisfying - you're aching, absolutely dripping for him, and this is just enough to whet your appetite and make you hungry for more.

You can feel his smile against you, and you already know what's coming - still, it's disappointing when he pulls his tongue out. You whine, unashamed of how you must sound or how loud you may be, and he chuckles.

"Patience, baby girl," he breathes. Warm air flows over you, and your hands move to tangle in his hair. His tongue shifts again, lapping at your clit for long enough that you think you may cum before he stops to draw mind-numbing circles around it instead.

Time bends around the two of you - it always does when he's between your thighs like this, when he's teasing and deliberate with every swipe of his tongue against you, every press of him against your hole. He edges you for so long; slow circles around your clit turn to quick thrusts inside of you that shift into laps against your hole that drag upward, just barely catching your clit before they stop.

You're sure there would be a puddle on the floor were it not for his dedication. The entire house is filled with the sounds of his mouth against you, only drowned out by the sound of your cries as he begins to suck on your clit.

Your knees quake on either side of his head, and he doesn't hesitate to bring his hands up behind your thighs. Without a second thought, he lifts - not even pausing in his mission, tongue still thrusting into you at an almost absurd rate - and then your thighs are resting atop his shoulders. You gasp, both in shock and in pleasure as he lets his teeth graze ever so lightly against that bundle of nerves.

This isn't the first time he's done this - put you on his shoulders and left you there while he eats you out within an inch of your life - but it's the first time in a long time, and it has you seeing stars as one of your hands stays tangled in his hair and the other is braced against the wall beside you.

"Hyunwoo, please–" You beg, but you can't catch your breath long enough between moans to say anything more. He sucks again, the flat of his tongue gliding over your clit as it's pulled into his mouth once more, and your vision goes white. Your knees quake, and you're sure that if you had been standing, you wouldn't be anymore.

"That's my girl," Hyunwoo praises after he's done cleaning up your cum. When you can see again, you realize he's set you down on the floor and is slowly massaging your thighs.

"Hyun, I....please....can you–"

"You want me to fuck you stupid, baby?" He asks. His tone is a little patronizing, but that's okay, because it only serves to turn you on more. "Does my sweet little whore need my cock in her?"

"Yes, please," you whimper, hips tilting upwards against nothing of their own accord.

Hyunwoo stands and hooks his thumbs into the waistband of his grey sweats. A few moments later he's pulled them down just enough to free himself. Your mouth drops open slightly when you finally lay eyes on him - you know he's big. You know that he is big, you've had his entire length inside of you several times now and you've felt it for days after each time, but it still never fails to shock you.

Because he is big. Thick, so thick you can hardly wrap your entire fist around him, and long, with the perfect curve that hits that spot inside of you that makes your toes curl. His dick is nearly as perfect as he is, and that is a very high bar.

It's also so hard that you can see it throbbing, jumping every so often as his muscles tense.

"You want me to make you come with my cock, right, baby?" He asks, once again using that patronizing tone that makes heat creep across your cheeks.

You nod.

"Then you're going to have to ask nicely, aren't you?" He prods.

"Please, daddy," you say without hesitation, "Please fuck me, I want you to make me cum so hard that I cry, I want to be a good slut for you."

"Very good, baby," he praises. "Now I want you to prove that you mean it. Can you be a good little whore and suck my cock?"

You lean forward, not even bothering to use your hands because your bones still feel like jelly. You run your tongue across the tip of him, giving small kitten licks to the slit just how he likes. A groan rumbles through him, and he lets out a soft gasp as you slip your tongue down to wet the shaft as well. 

"Fuck, princess," he moans, "I think you've gotten even better at this."

Encouraged, you let your mouth hang open– just barely wide enough to get your lips around the shaft– and let your tongue rest on your spit-slick lips. You glance up long enough to see that Hyunwoo's eyes are blown wide with his desire before you mouth sloppily down his dick. It's messy and would probably be disgusting if it were anyone but the two of you and Hyunwoo didn't have that look in his eyes that promises you'll remember tonight for several weeks. 

His hands move, one adjusting his grip on the doorframe as you suck the head of his cock between your lips while the other comes down to grip one of the two buns you put your hair in that morning. He tugs - not hard, not yet, but firmly enough that it stings slightly and makes you keen.

"If you're going to make a mess, don't you think you should clean it up?" He asks. You lift a brow and he grins. "Clearly you're not that tired if you still have an attitude."

"No," you whine, "I am tired, my bones are basically nonexistent right now thanks to you."

The hand in your hair loosens slightly, and Hyunwoo tuts. "I have to do all the work, huh? Then get on your knees for me, baby girl, so I can use you like a good toy." 

You rush to comply, and only wince a bit at the feeling of the cold floor against your knees. His hand stays where it is the entire time you're moving, but he waits until you're sitting still, legs folded under you and giving you that extra bit of height you'll need. 

"Let me know if it's too much," Hyunwoo commands, and you nod. His eyes darken, slightly, and he runs his thumb along your jaw. "What's the signal?"

"Two taps on your thigh," You tell him, not for the first time. He's always so careful beforehand, and while you appreciate just how much he cares about you, you also are sick of just staring at his cock, and your mouth is beginning to water. 

Hyunwoo coos slightly, and the hand in your hair shifts to guide rather than just anchor. "You're always so good for me," he mutters as he slides the tip past your lips. "Always such a good little slut." 

You don't stop the whimper that escapes your throat – he loves them, and you know it. Your mouth is lax, nothing more than a hole for him to fill as he sees fit, and there's the slightest twinge of complaint as your jaw begins to stretch. 

You ignore it, determined to get as much of him as possible this time. You've practiced for this, nearly every day, since the last time and you're not stopping until you beat your record. 

Hyunwoo sighs as he hits the back of your throat. "God, you're perfect," he mutters as he begins to slide back out. You let your jaw relax a bit as he does, and when just the tip rests on your tongue, you give it a small kiss, just because you can. 

Hyunwoo smiles, gaze softening for a split second. "Hands in position, baby girl," he reminds you, and you do as he says – one hand on back of each of his thighs, so you can tap out if you need to. 

Also so you can feel those incredible muscles flex as he starts shallow thrusts, rippling and tensing under your fingers. If your mouth weren't otherwise occupied, you'd bite them. 

Hyunwoo continues carefully, testing just how much of himself can fit before you start to gag on his length….and just how long you can choke before you really start to need air. 

He pulls back before you even need to tap out, always careful to keep an eye on you for any warning signs. He slides back in and waits until he hits the back of your throat again, pushing slightly further, and just as he's about to begin pulling back out, you look up at him with wide eyes.

You know you look like a mess; drool gathering on your lips because your mouth is too full to hold it, tears streaming down your cheeks from your attempts to stop gagging. Hyunwoo loves it when you look ruined like this, adores taking your perfectly crafted image and crumbling it to pieces in his hands. 

So it's no surprise when he lets out a low moan, or when he lets himself slip a little further down your throat. This is as far as he's ever gotten and you want him to know how good you are, how hard you've been practicing  with the toys underneath your bed. He slides out, precum dripping onto your tongue as he does, and you bat your lashes at him.

"Use me," you tell him. "Use me like the toy that I am for you, Daddy." Something darkens in his eyes and he doesn't hesitate to thrust  back in.

Your eyes water with the force of it and you don't stop the moan that escapes you as he slides deeper down your throat than he's ever been before. There's still a couple inches left before he'd be fully sheathed, but Hyunwoo doesn't even seem to notice as he pulls out just to thrust back in.

Neither of you are quiet — you can barely hear the wet squelch of your mouth. It's drowned out by the moans he draws from you, which in turn pull moans from him between the words he growls out.

"God, you're so perfect," he mutters as he fucks your throat with abandon. "The perfect angel slut, so good at getting throatfucked, just made for my cock no matter where it goes, huh? You're such a good whore, you're probably fucking soaked just from my dick in your mouth, aren't you?"

You whimper around him and he speeds up, relentless; he's not wrong either — you are soaked, can feel it between your thighs as your hips rock fruitlessly against empty air.

"Oh, look at you," Hyunwoo coos, "So desperate to be fucked while sucking me off. Maybe one day I'll get one of your buddies over here to fuck your throat while you ride my cock, since you're so desperate to get used like a good slut. But I don't even think that'll be enough, will it? Because they won't be me." He thrusts a little deeper, a little rougher, and you aren't sure if the noises you're making are as loud as they seem to you but either way, they only serve to egg him on. 

"No," Hyunwoo continues, "They won't be Daddy, will they? They won't be able to get this deep in your throat, won't be able to fuck you like this. And you know why? Because this is my hole." He punctuates the sentence with a sharp thrust and you squeeze the backs of his thighs to show your agreement. "You're my perfect slut. My good little whore. Isn't that right, baby girl?"

You squeeze the backs of his thighs again, but it isn't enough. He stills, still buried nearly to the hilt inside you, and cocks a brow.

"Well? Aren't you my perfect whore?" Your face flames, heat burning in your cheeks. Your jaw aches from being stretched for so long, there spit and precum dripping down your chin  and you can feel him throbbing in your throat. 

And Hyunwoo looks expectant. He wants to hear you agree with him, wants you to remind yourself of this fact.

You don't even blink when he pulls his phone out of the pocket of his sweats. You can't see what he does, but based on how he angles it and the shallow thrusts he gives without looking away from the screen, you can guess. 

"Aw, is my baby girl getting shy now?" He teases as you make eye contact with the lens and feel your face heat up. "Don't even worry about it, baby. I just wanna remember how fucking perfect you look right now forever. My perfect cocksucking slut."

You whimper, pussy clenching around nothing and you're overcome with a sudden need to feel him inside you.

"Are you gonna be a good slut now?" Hyunwoo continues, still recording. "Are you daddy's good slut?" You nod and can't stop the reflexive swallow as he goes even deeper. Hyunwoo groans at the feeling and you can see his grip on his phone tighten for a moment.

"Say it," he commands when his eyes open once more. "I want to hear you say it."

" 'm 'a'y's 'er'ec' 'ore," you moan. It doesn't even sound like words, at this point, but when you look back up at him with wide eyes. Hyunwoo looks proud.

"You absolutely are," he whispers. He hits a button and then pockets his phone again. He slides carefully out of your mouth and casually strokes his cock with one hand as he wipes spit from your face with the other. "I think you've been a perfect angel, baby girl, so you've earned your reward. Where would you like it?"

"Bed, please, Daddy." Your voice is hoarse and scratchy, but you don't care, and Hyunwoo doesn't seem to either as he pulls his sweats up and then bends. The world spins for a moment and then steadies, and you realize he's got you in his arms. Hyunwoo carries you like a princess towards the room you share, and tosses you on the bed without hesitation.

Your eyes widen as he starts to strip out of his clothes, and you can't deny that you enjoy the show. The torso of muscles all rippling, the golden skin all shining, the desire in his eyes. Then the sweats — they hit the ground with a thud and you idly hope his phone is alright before you remember there are more important things right now.

He is, unsurprisingly, still hard — almost painfully so, a deep swollen pink at the head and jumping every so often. The vein running up the underside is throbbing, and you can actually feel yourself get wetter with anticipation.

One knee rests on the mattress, then the other, and Hyunwoo is crawling towards you on his hands and knees, and you can see every muscle as it shifts and fuck you love this man.

"I love you," you tell him, not for the first time. He breaks for a second, a bright smile taking over his face.

"I love you," he replies, pressing a kiss to your thigh. "Can we take those clothes off now, baby, because as great as you look, you're even better naked."

Breath catches in your throat and you nod. Hyunwoo is almost reverent as his hands glide up your thighs and is exceedingly gentle as he slides down the zipper and then the skirt itself. He smiles again, almost shy, and you can't help but marvel at the fact that this is the same man who bad you gagging on his dick not five minutes ago.

He leans in and gently nudges your nose with his, but when you lean forward to kiss him, he backs away with a playful grin. His warm hand rests on your waist and he leans in again only to dart back when you try to kiss him — not far, though. He's still close enough that you can feel the heat of his breath mix with yours, but it's still infuriating. 

You pout at him, and his smile just grows. "What is it?" He asks, teasing. "What do you want?" His lips ghost over yours as he speaks and it nearly breaks you.

"You," You whine. "I want you."

"You have me." He leans forward then, capturing your lips with an intensity you haven't seen in a long time. His mouth moves against yours and it's firm, commanding, and absolutely intoxicating as he pulls back just to lightly bite your lips. It's not rough, not really, but it's fiery and exciting and everything you've wanted. 

He presses closer, nimble fingers undoing the buttons of your blouse in what seems like an instant. Warm hands cross your spine and then your bra is gone, too. His skin seems to meld to yours, hands moving everywhere as he lays you back. 

Your breath hitches when you feel him against your entrance and he smiles into the bruise he's sucking into your throat. 

"You're so fucking wet, baby," he breathes as his tip teases against your entrance. "You're always so wet for me, so ready to be fucked. Just a perfect fucking whore, huh?" He slides in then, but only a bit. Just like before, it's just barely enough for you to feel him stretching you out. Just a tease of what's to come.

"Hyunwoo," you whine. You can see the amusement in his eyes as he chuckles.

"What is it? You want more?" He slides in further, but just a centimeter. You whine again, pushing your hips up against his to try to push him deeper. You can feel yourself throbbing, aching, for him, and you're tired of being teased. You want to be full. 

You tell him as much, watching his pupils dilate with every word until there's hardly any iris left to be seen. 

"Is that so?" He mutters, almost to himself. "Well, your wish is my command." He slides in, slowly, but this time he doesn't stop. He just keeps going and going and going, until you can feel him at your cervix. It stings – you're stretched so far, and he's so deep inside – but you relish it. 

"Beautiful," Hyunwoo mutters as he begins to slide back out, inch by agonizing inch. You whimper as the tip nearly slides out, too, and your hips lift of their own accord. Hyunwoo takes the hint and pushes back in; he creates a rhythm, one so slow, so maddening, that you're on the verge of tears as you whine and whimper underneath him. 

He notices your frustration, pulls himself away from lazily mouthing at your nipples, and hums. 

"What's wrong, baby? You aren't satisfied yet?" He gives you that Boy-Next-Door grin that you know hides a demon behind it. "Are you going to ask nicely again? Tell me no one fills you up like I do and beg me to fuck you the way you want? You look so pretty when you beg."

Any other time, you wouldn't. You would at least hesitate, make him work a little harder for your pleas. But you're desperate and frustrated and have no shame, so you don't hesitate. 

"Please, Daddy," you beg, letting your legs fall open and arching your back so his eyes drop lower and lower. "Please, Daddy, no one can fill this pussy like you do, no one can fuck my holes like you. Pl–please," you moan as he slides entirely inside once more, "Please fuck me right, make me come on your cock, I wan– wanna be fucked stupid, want you to– to fuck me stupid, please, wanna be Daddy's perfect slut, pl– Ah!"

You can't help your surprised gasp as Hyunwoo flips you onto your stomach with a low growl.

Warmth drapes along your back as you rise up, palms splayed across the sheets and elbows locked to keep you upright; his skin is sweat-slick and heated against your own, and a shiver runs down your spine when he pauses to runs his teeth along the lobe of your ear. 

"You are the best part of my life," he announces.

Butterflies explode in your belly a split second before he slides out of you.

"And I'm gonna make you cum so hard that you'll never forget that fact."

"Hyunwo— Oh!"

He thrusts into you with enough force to toss you into the headboard, had he not planted one hand firmly on your hip and had the other curled around your breast to tease your nipple. 

"You like that?" Hyunwoo asks with a smile in his voice. He repeats the movement and you clench around him as you gasp out a moan.  It's all you can do to nod and he flicks your nipple in response. "Good."

He lifts up, both hands now holding you steady by an iron grip on your hips, and readjusts his legs so yours are spread slightly wider. Your arms are trembling but you pay them no mind. 

Until Hyunwoo thrusts forward, pulling back just as quickly only to bury himself again, a heartbeat later. His pace is absolutely merciless; the sound of skin hitting skin fills the room, mixing beautifully with the wet slide as he shoves back in and the rough, throat moans that he pulls from you. Your vision swims, and you can't concentrate on anything else as he gives you the fucking that's been haunting your dreams every night. 

He adjusts his grip, one hand moving to sit firmly on the small of your back and press you down just a bit. The angle shifts – not much, but enough that the next time he pounds into you, he thrusts right up against that spot that makes your toes curl. 

You cry out, vision going white as he hits it again, and again, and again, absolutely ruthless in his mission. Your muscles go weak, biceps twitching as they give out, and then you're face down in the mattress. Hyunwoo doesn't hesitate, just ghosts his palm down to rest between your shoulders and keep you in place. 

He might be talking – you certainly think you hear the low tones of his voice as he speaks to you, but you can't make out words. It's too much work, too many syllables, too much effort to try to work past the haze that blankets your mind. You can still feel him, pumping in and out of your gushing pussy — the stretch barely stings anymore, and he throbs inside of you.  Each thrust is still perfectly angled to hit that mind-numbing place that keeps you from doing anything more than screeching his name. 

He slows, immediately switching from speed to power as he manages to put even more force behind his hips. The hand in your back moves, as does the one on your hip and then you're rising.

A warm palm across your throat – not choking,  just keeping you in place while the other traces along your spread thigh. 

There are words – something your brain is too fried to make out, and then a rumble that vibrates through you. A laugh. His thrusts get a little faster as he fucks up into you, and you're dimly aware of his fingers slipping between your folds. 

Someone screams — no, not someone. You. You scream, something so loud and provocative that it can't even be called a moan anymore, as he begins to rub circles around your clit. Orgasms rock through you,  every part of your body going boneless even as you shake from the force of it. It's impossible to tell when it stops, if it stops – the aftershocks are strong and he still hasn't stopped fucking you, though he's slower and gentler now, letting you ride it out on his cock. 

"……perfect for me, " you hear him whisper as you're senses come back. "Absolutely perfect, an amazing fucking— just divine, you are."

"Hyun," you manage, and it's no shock that you sound absolutely wrecked.  "D– Daddy."

"I'm here, baby girl," he mutters, "What do you need?"

"You," You respond instantly. "Want you, wanna fee– feel it, want you to fill me, please, in– ah, inside, want you dripping ou–" You're cut off once more as your body heaves with yet another aftershock, clenching around his hard length again. 

"Whatever you want, baby," he promises. "Can you come once more for me, baby girl? Just one more time so we can come together?"

"Mm…." You pause, taking the best inventory you can as your muscles jolt again. You consider lying to him, or just omitting this, because you know he'll never stop reminding you of it, but decide against it. Instead, you quietly admit,  "I don't think I ever stopped."

"Oh, fuck," he breathes. Within moments, you can feel his thrusts turn more erratic, more frenzied, and then you're impossibly fuller even as something warm drips down the inside of your thigh. 

He's gentle as he lays you down on the bedspread, exceedingly so as he pulls his softening cock out of you. His weight disappears from the bed for a few minutes that seem to stretch into hours, and then the mattress dips, and his soft smile appears once more. 

"Here sweetheart, drink this." He hands you a familiar cup and when you take a sip, the water is cool and refreshing. Wet warmth, surprising but pleasant, glides along your inner thigh and you look down to see him cleaning you up. 

"Mm, this is quite possibly the perfect view," you tease, wagging your brows as you make a show of checking out his muscular arms. It makes him laugh, the soft one that's just for when you're being ridiculous. 

"Drunk your water, you menace," he commands as he continues to wipe. "You're gonna need to replenish your fluids, after all that." He looks pointedly towards the bed and you follow his gaze, face heating when your eyes land on the rather sizable wet spot staining the sheets. 

"Whoops?" You offer. When you look back at him, he only looks fond. 

"Don't even start, it was hot. Besides, they needed to be put in the wash anyway.  I'll start them after you get into the bath." He gives over you, taking kisses along every piece of skin he can until he reaches your lips. You can't help the way your breath catches – even after all this time, he manages to make you breathless over the smallest things.

He peppers kisses along your cheeks, and nose, and everywhere else until you're giggling and trying to turn away from him. Unfortunately, with his arms on either side of you, you're fairly well trapped, so you settle for fucking your head into his neck instead. 

You pause. Sniff again. Back up. He looks sheepish, like he already knows what you're going to say. 

"We were out of the fancy stuff—" He tries, but you don't let him. 

"You used that 3-in-1 shit again?" You demand. "Actual body wash isn't even fancy, it's what normal people use! That's it, you're coming into the bath with me after you start the laundry so that I can make sure you didn't use it in your hair, too."

He smiles again, though you have a sneaking suspicion that he's just humoring you when he nods and says, "Whatever you want."

#shownu smut #shownu x reader #reader insert #dddaenggtan

[yehet-about-it]

Chase Me | Part 17 - Lock The Door Next Time

⇐ || ☆ Masterlist ☆ || ⇒

🎮👾 ~ The Boyz Social Media AU ~ 👾🎮

"Twitching" is a British term used to mean "the pursuit of a previously located rare bird." In North America it is more often called chasing...

Pairings: Changmin x Reader, Sunwoo x Reader

Warnings: 17+, language, some smut in later chapters, fuckboy!sunwoo 😉

Updates Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday & Sunday @ 9pm GMT/1pm PST

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Word Count: 3.1k (I am SO sorry... although I'm kind of not bc I lowkey love this chapter) Warnings: Mature content, may involve maStUrBaTioN, a whole lot of embarrassment and Chanhee having the time of his goddamn life bc its not him in the awkward situation for once 🙃

You sighed, dropping your unreasonably heavy camera bag on the table as you walked into the living room, Chanhee in close pursuit looking equally as tired. You’d spent several long hours at a shoot for a new project you’d been hired to do and had come back to the boys’ apartment to do some editing before you called it quits for the day.

“Should we order food now?” You called out as Chanhee went to his room to unload his gear and fetch his macbook for editing. You knew you needed to work but you hadn’t eaten since the morning and you couldn’t stop the thoughts of takeout food swirling around in your head. “Mm, the Chinese?” Chanhee replied sitting down across the table. “Can you go and ask Changmin if he wants anything while I set this up? He’s probably in his room.”

You nodded happily, perking up at the prospect of food and left Chanhee to upload the photos from the day whilst you went off in search of Changmin. He wasn’t in their gaming room as you walked by so you continued down the corridor towards his room. As you neared his door you could hear a murmur, and coming to a stop outside the room you recognised your name being called by Changmin, only it was ever so quiet, barely audible through the wood of the door, so you figured maybe it was just him registering your presence. Assuming he’d realised you were there, you swung the door open not quite expecting the scene that was presented before you. Changmin was sat on his bed, propped up against the pillows with his lips parted, hair hanging low in front of his eyes, and scanning further down you saw that his sweatpants were bunched low on his hips as his hand gripped what appeared to be a very hard erection. You let out a shriek as you realised what you had stumbled upon, immediately slamming the door back shut and racing down the corridor before Changmin even had chance to react.

“Oh my god, oh my god.” You repeated it like a mantra, your heart pounding from the shock as you slid back into the living room and into your chair opposite New. “What the hell’s wrong with you?” Chanhee asked in bewilderment looking at you as though you’d just committed the 7 deadly sins. “I should have knocked!” you squeaked burying your face in your palms in total, unfathomed embarrassment. You took a deep breath trying to calm yourself, but the image of Changmin’s hand wrapped snugly around his length, pleasuring himself as he uttered your name was well and truly burned into your brain.

“What? Why?” Chanhee asked, a puzzled expression forming from his features. “He- oh my word- he was- touchi- Ugh I can’t say it!” you whined. “He wasn’t…? Oh my god...” Eventually realising what had happened, a hysterical fit of laughter erupted from your best friends throat as you hid behind your hands, your cheeks most definitely flushed with the brightest pink. “Oh my god that idiot” Chanhee cackled, tears starting to form in the corners of his eyes from the sheer force of his laughter. You sank down in your chair a pained smile on your face as you couldn’t help but be affected by Chanhee’s reaction. “Chanhee what am I gonna do? I’ll never be able to look him in the eye again!” You wailed, the howling starting to dye down as Chanhee regained his composure. “Not my problem” Chanhee teased. “I’ll make it your problem” you replied stroppily, whacking him lightly on the arm in annoyance. “Ow!” Chanhee clutched his arm in feigned pain before proceeding to laugh at you once again. “It’s not funny Chanhee! This is so awkward!”

You had by now gotten over the initial shock of seeing one of your longest friends exposed like that, and now you were wondering how the hell you were gonna get over the awkwardness of the situation. But most of all, you were wondering why the hell he’d been moaning your name of all names and what that meant. Not that you were going to mention that to New. That would open a whole new can of worms and lead this conversation down a whole new road that you didn’t particularly want to explore, as well as give Chanhee even more ammunition for further teasing.

“That’s exactly why it IS funny.” Chanhee chided, whipping his phone out, presumably either to tease Changmin or get the Chinese menu up, or both. “Guess he won’t be joining us for the Chinese then?” You rolled your eyes at Chanhee’s teasing (though also legitimate) question. “Well it’s not like I stuck around to ask.” You crossed your arms as you gave Chanhee a warning glare. “Fine, I’ll ask him then.” He said, and your phone lit up on the table a moment later – of course he’d mentioned it in your group chat.

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Changmin had heard Chanhee’s cackling from his room at the other end of the apartment and had been mentally cursing for the duration, his face perhaps an even brighter shade of scarlet than yours. Of all of the awkward things to happen, the girl he liked and one of his best friends walking in while he was halfway to climax thinking about her had to be the most unfortunate. Firstly there was the problem of how he’d ever look you in the eye again, but secondly was the problem that remained below his waistline. You walking in hadn’t helped that of course. If it had been Chanhee or Kevin walking in, his stiffness would have gone in a split second, but despite the embarrassment of what had just happened, his length remained taut against his boxers which he’d quickly pulled back up in shock after your momentary appearance. He was no longer in the mood to continue, too worried about what you might be thinking, so he decided his only option was to go for a cold shower in the hope that that might fix it.

Before he had the chance to hop in however, his phone buzzed, showing a text from New. He groaned as he read the older boys words, knowing that he’d never live this down whining again when he realised the texts were sent not just to him but to your group chat. Thankfully Changmin had already eaten, although he wouldn’t mind a bit of Chinese, but given the current awkwardness he decided to pass up on the offer for food. He would probably be able to face you later but if he ordered food he’d have to sit with you to eat it, and the embarrassment was stilll far too fresh for that to be a comfortable affair, so he quickly typed out his reply and hopped in the shower to deal with the problem beneath his pants.

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An hour or so later you and Chanhee had just about finished your editing for the day and were tucking into your food, but you still hadn’t heard a peep out of Changmin. You sighed, finishing your bowl of jajangmyeon, feeling a little guilty that Changmin wasn’t sharing in the joys of your takeout food, all because you’d been dumb enough not to knock. “Hm maybe I should take him something” you sighed looking across all the cartons of food you’d ordered. Maybe he had actually eaten already, but there was so much, and you were sure he’d like some. “You’re not going to eat all that are you?” You asked Chanhee, nodding to the half full box of kkanpunggi in the middle. Chanhee just shrugged. “You sure you want to go back in there?” He sniggered as he asked the question, deliberately trying to provoke you. “No I am not, but I’m not going to avoid him forever just because I’ve seen his dick” you declared defiantly, making Chanhee almost spit out his boba as he doubled over in laughter. However awkward you were feeling, you’d have to face each other eventually. Normally you wouldn’t be so thrown off by something like this, for instance, you’d once accidentally walked in on Kevin going at it with someone one time when you’d stayed over at Sunwoo’s, but you’d just greeted it with an ew and laughed about it later. The only thing that had you feeling so utterly flustered was the sound of him uttering your name whilst he was clearly having some ‘time to himself’, but since you figured he wouldn’t necessarily be aware you’d heard that, you decided you’d be able to brush it off for now and pretend like everything was just peachy.

“Well just remember to knock this time” Chanhee quipped as you stood up, taking the box of spicy garlic fried chicken with you, picking up some of the spare chopsticks the restaurant had sent too. You grinned sarcastically at Chanhee, your eyes silently telling him he was an asshole, before disappearing off down the hall to Changmin’s room, praying that he’d be fully tucked into his pants this time. “Changmin? Can I come in?” you called as you knocked tentatively on his door. You heard some shuffling and low muttering before he answered with an uncertain “sure”.

Swinging the door open for the second time this evening you were relieved to see Changmin perched on his bed, fully clothed with an xbox controller in his lap and his headset to the side of him. You saw the overwatch character select screen flickering brightly on his tv screen too so you could only assume he was playing online with someone. “Oh you’re playing? Who’s on?” you asked quietly as you walked a couple of steps into the room, the carton of kkanpunggi still in hand. “Uh, just Eric.” Changmin replied, his eyes darting around the room as he struggled to make eye contact with you, for understandable reasons. “Hi Eric!” You sang loudly so he could hear you through the microphone. Though it was quiet, only coming from Changmin’s headset you heard a faint chuckle and Eric’s voice returning the greeting. “I brought you some kkanpunggi, I thought you might like some, it’s really good” you said, turning your attention back to the boy actually in the room.

Changmin’s expression softened watching as you stood there, proudly holding up the box of chicken and chopsticks. Even after what happened you were still thoughtful enough to bring him nice food so he wouldn’t miss out. What he wouldn’t give to be able to just pull you onto his lap and feed one other the delicious food, cleaning up any stray sauce with kisses. In his dreams he thought.

“Awh how come he gets chicken?” Eric whined through the headphones pulling Changmin out of his daydream. “KEVIN-HYUNG CAN WE GET CHICKEN?!” The sudden loudness of the younger boy through the headphones made you giggle, and you shared an amused look with Changmin. As bizarre as it was though, you were rather grateful for Eric’s random inputs which actually seemed to have the effect of relieving some of the tension in the room.

“Yah be quiet! I’m not even wearing my headphones and that hurt my ears!” Changmin called towards his headset shutting the younger boy up with an insincere sorry. “Oh it smells good, thank you y/n!” Changmin smiled sweetly at you as you placed the box down on the side table next to his bed. “That’s okay!” You replied, moving a few steps away again before looking nervously towards Changmin’s headset. You wanted to apologise for your earlier intrusion to get it out of the way, but you definitely didn’t want Eric to be witness to that, so you lowered your voice to a whisper. “Oh um, so I’ll be leaving in a bit, I just wanted to say sorry for earlier, I um- I should probably have knocked before I came in.”

Changmin could feel the heat rising in his cheeks being reminded of the earlier incident and although his hair mostly covered it, the tips of his ears were now definitely a blazing pink. “Oh-“ He was frankly a little stuck for words. He’d been sat in his room for the better part of an hour rehearsing what he might say to you in his head, but now you’d come in here to apologise, with chicken no less, he didn’t really have an answer for you. “Uh- it’s okay,” he mumbled. “Sorry you had to see that.”

Before it could get too awkward however, you snickered as you heard Eric and Kevin clearly having an argument about chicken faintly through the headphones still laying next to Changmin and you thanked your lucky stars that they evidently weren’t listening to you and Changmin’s awkward exchange. “Well I promise I’ll knock next time.” Changmin chuckled, running a hand sheepishly through his hair as you moved back toward the door. “I’ll let you get back to the game if those two ever stop arguing, I’ll see you later yeah?”

Changmin nodded and said goodbye as you slipped out to return to the dining table where New sat, a mischievous glint in his eye as he grinned at you. “On a scale of 1 to Eric talking to girls, just how awkward was he?” He asked, clearly trying to stifle his laughter. “Shut up New” you scoffed as you began picking up the empty food cartons to throw in the trash. This little shit was gonna milk this out for as long as possible and you weren’t here for it. “Well at least you didn’t scream and run out this time” he bantered, only to be met with a look of pure contempt from you as he passed you one of the empty food containers. “I am this close to pouring this black bean sauce all over that new balenciaga t-shirt Chanhee” you threatened holding out a carton that had the remains of some sauce wobbling about in the bottom. Chanhee jumped back covering his shirt with his hands, knowing that it wasn’t an empty threat from another time he’d pissed you off and you threw half a cup of peach tea all over him. It was a waste of the tea, but he’d had it coming. “That’s what I thought.” You proclaimed before disappearing into the kitchen to dispose of the containers.

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On your way home your head was filled with all kinds of thoughts about what you’d unintentionally just witnessed. All you really wanted to do was relax after a long day of work and carrying heavy equipment around, but all you could think about was your name on Changmin’s lips and what the hell it meant. Was it just an accident? Or if it wasn’t, did that confirm everything that Kevin had been telling you? Did Changmin really like you? There had been an undeniable vibe between you for the past few weeks, what with the increasing amount of time you spent together and the intimate moment on the roof last night, but until this weekend, you hadn’t thought about it much, your mind largely preoccuppied with your anger towards Sunwoo.

Your mind flipped through your memories with Changmin as you sat on the tube, trying to make sense of everything, and as you did so, it dawned on you. Kevin was right. Changmin liked you. Perhaps that was even what he had tried to tell you the previous night before Jeju had abruptly cut him off. You recalled all the times Changmin had sat with you and listened to you rant about Sunwoo, the way he’d been so angry the day after that one fateful party, and how he’d always been there waiting for you with a hug when you were down. It was a wonder you’d never realised it before. Perhaps Changmin’s warm presence in your life had just become so natural you never thought anything of it, but it was becoming increasingly clear that this wasn’t just two friends looking out for eachother. No, it was more than that.

You felt a heat in your chest as you processed this revelation, trying to make sense of your own feelings. You adored Changmin, but then who didn’t? The way his dimples made him look like the sweetest angel whenever he smiled, the way his eyes lit up whenever he discovered something really interesting, the way he couldn’t stop himself from giggling even at the most inappropriate moments. It was impossible not to like him. But then not everybody knew him like you. They didn’t have your relationship. Changmin had always been there for you, even though it was Chanhee you called your best friend and Sunwoo he called his. He always seemed to know exactly what you needed – when to give you space, when to give you hugs or when to make you laugh so hard you cried. Upon reflection, there was no one who came close to making you feel as happy and comfortable as Changmin did. You couldn’t think of a single occasion he hadn’t made you smile and you slowly began to realise… Was it possible… that you liked him too?

Then the thoughts of Sunwoo swarmed your mind. Did he know Changmin was into you? No of course not. They weren’t on the best of terms right now but you imagined it would be a hell of a lot worse if he did know his best friend was infatuated with his ex-girlfriend. If anything were to happen between you and Changmin, Sunwoo would be outraged for certain. But maybe that was what he deserved. He’d lost the right to an opinion on your life when he tried to get back with you by sleeping with you when you were drunk. Although perhaps falling for his best friend was a little far…

You leaned your head back against the glass of the subway train, sighing as your mind replayed the memory of Changmin’s breathless expression as his hand gripped his manhood. You kind of wished it would stop, not wanting the embarrassment of getting so worked up in public, but you just couldn’t tear your thoughts away from it. After your newfound revelation, you were getting dangerously close to imagining what had been happening before you walked in, and what sort of things he might have been thinking of doing – you nearly missed your stop in your dazed state but thankfully the announcement pulled you out of your thoughts and you rushed to the doors just in time to hop off before they closed and the train sped off into the distance, away from you and your insurmountable dilemma.

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#the boyz au #the boyz drabbles #the boyz imagines #the boyz fluff #the boyz smut #the boyz fake texts #the boyz social media au #the boyz smau #chase me #changmin x reader #changmin au #changmin drabbles #changmin imagines #changmin fluff #changmin social media au #changmin fake texts #changmin scenarios #sunwoo angst #sunwoo fake texts #chanhee fake texts #tbz q fluff #tbz q drabble #q drabbles #q fluff #the boyz q social media au #tbz q imagines #the boyz fanfics #changmin smut

[sleepless-in-starbucks]

Hi could you talk more about why youd recommend not watching ww84?

Sure!

warnings for under the cut: spoilers for WW84 and a bit of the first wonder woman; i only saw WW84 once a few days ago + it’s been a hot sec since i saw the original so if i get a few details wrong i apologize

tl;dr with no spoilers: WW84 is a poorly executed movie that insults its viewer with its messy and self-proud plot, bad character/relationship portrayals, and offers a personal slap in the face to a majority of its audience in their various discriminations, generalizations, and plot points.

the first point is the racism, made well by the post i reblogged here, (edit: found a second post that goes more in depth here) so i’d just suggest looking at that for that matter

next is just How they portray wonder woman in this one

i really appreciated the way the first movie portrayed diana because they did very well in keeping true to her Amazonian raising and life while still clearly showing she was a woman

when i say this i mean that a lot of media has a tendency to either make women who are very fem and keep to traditional gender roles or women who more or less shun femininity and attempt to largely fulfill only male gender roles

diana in the original is a warrior, strong and fierce, but still a woman, not trying to shun that or anything. she wears styles that suit her while still being woman’s styles (she doesn’t force her way into a suit), she talks of and addresses her womanhood proudly and without issue, etc

i want to note here i have no issue with female characters who act extremely masc and reject femininity- i love them tbh- but it’s important to remember that it’s not inherently against womanhood or anything to be a strong fighter who doesn’t stick to every stereotypical social gender norm

and the first wonder woman movie shows this very well

WW84... oh boy

first of all, wonder woman’s changing outfits every other scene. even between scenes where it makes no sense! i’m not saying she can only wear one set of clothes but Geez this was too much

not to mention an entire scene dedicated to her helping steve pick a fashion look? i understand this was to highlight the ‘80-ness of the movie, and it would’ve been fine if it seemed diana was helping him pick a period appropriate look, but it was clear she was trying to help him pick a ‘fashionable’ look which. wonder woman? from the island without a sense of popular outfits or fashion? what?

and the amount of focus on her wearing high heels.... ugh

i’m not saying you can’t have a badass woman who also likes social gender norm fem things but it felt clear that wasn’t what they were going for

wonder woman in the first movie liked practical fashion and not only were many of her outfits not that, her high heels? one hundred percent not practical

it didn’t fit her character and felt horribly out of place, clearly just the producers / directors / whoever going ‘oh, wonder woman is a woman how can we show this? fashion! high heels!’ and i hated it

(warning: imma be jumping from thought to thought as they bump into each so uh... enjoy the train-of-thought style of flaw informing)

and starting at the beginning like.... wow that scene had no purpose

wonder woman cheats in a competition and is punished for this by losing it in the end. except. this is stupid for two reasons

as the audience is shown she didn’t cheat on purpose. she made a mistake, lost her horse, and made a strategy to get back into the race despite this. honestly? i thought the story was going to be a lesson in ingenuity in the worst looking situations. but it wasn’t, which is bad storytelling, because the lesson is then based on a point that isn’t even that true

it is literally Never important again later. unless you count what was going on with the wishstone as ‘cheating to victory’ which i dont. that’s not even what the villain did. he wanted to take over the world. there’s no victory there you get without cheating. wtf. why did that message even happen

going into the actual story we meet the cheetah pretty quick, when she’s still whatever-her-civilian-name-is

and the cheetah... she’s such a bad villain

she doesn’t have the same backstory as she does in the comics

in this one, she uses the wishstone- which is a whole ‘nother thing in and of itself- to wish to be like diana, because ig being smart as hell but social awkward as hell too is so bad you need to desperately wish to be someone else? i hate that trope, but onwards-

she gets that, but in exchange for not only diana’s likable personality she also gets her wonder woman powers (and she loses her glasses, because pretty and cool means no glasses, right? /s), she loses her kindness bc of the rules of the wishstone- in exchange for your wish, it takes smth u care about a lot from you; for her, it was her kindness

this makes her villain! just because she lost her kindness. yep. honestly not a good look regarding all those people out there who are low/no empathy and can still be wonderful nice people but i digress

at one point she complains about why she needs to keep her power rather than go back to being just Her and i fucking wanted to scream

she has like. half a dozen degrees, clearly a couple of friends even if she’s awkward, and she’s got a life that was perfectly okay before she made the wish. as someone who is also socially awkward as hell, it infuriated me to here her acting like it was the fucking end of the world she couldn’t be more extroverted or whatever. there are ways to work on that!!! the movie trying to convince the audience she had a legit reason to not un-wish her wish (for the good of the entire world) was stupid and insulting

also her transformation between ‘looks human, wearing cheetah-pattern clothing‘ to ‘humanoid with cheetah fur/skin/appearance’ literally just. happened. for no reason. that was stupid

y’know what else is stupid? the wishstone. it was clearly just a plot device, and a poorly executed one at that. it isn’t even consistent in how it works

and they did a whole side thing with like. how it had the language of the gods written on part of it and it appeared in random locations across history around the time of great tragedies and,,, that was it???

they never explored the divine connection??? who planted it or why??? how it location traveled or anything????

like i said. poor plot device

i move on now to steve

oh boy steve

he’s brought back to life by diana’s wish on the wishstone, but... it causes him to come back in someone else’s body, quantum leap style. this is. weird. and is never ever addressed by him or wonder woman except once in a throw away comment. like. diana and steve kiss and are implied to have sex while steve is in someone else’s body and neither of them seem to care. this is not good!!

and then his relationship with diana? HORRIBLE

in the first movie they were barely starting to fall in love, only barely a couple even if that. more importantly they were friends, and that night he died diana didn’t lose a potential lover so much as she lost her first non-Amazonian friend

but WW84 portrays their relationship as if they were not only already a couple, but one close enough that even after forty years since steve’s death diana is still completely and hopelessly in love with him to the point that she’s literally hanging off his arm as soon as he’s back and making love that very night

it plays again once more into the misrepresentation of wonder woman’s character (how stereotypically hollywood female to fall over herself at the sight of her love interest) and it wrecks their relationship, which had been a lovely friends-who-could-be-more

what they should’ve done was focus on that friendship, build it back up after the long gap for wonder woman, and then started to rebuild that possible romance (and tear it down at the perfect moment... right when steve had to go again... ah that would’ve been lovely)

but they wanted to go in full-haul on the romance and it just felt. wrong and weak to me. diana’s refusal to consider giving up her wish (to get her powers back and save the world) is bc she doesn’t want to let steve go again, which makes more sense in the context of a first and true friend rather than a hastily slapped together love interest

steve’s character was generally good tbh but the way he played into the story? bad

moving on... the main villain of the movie? sucks. he’s just. fucking awful

despite a motivation being given that he wants to have money, he launches into wanting to take over the world for no real reason. he takes advantage of people for this and almost destroys the world he wants to rule for it. the main reason he stops this is for his son, who up until now he largely ignored and didn’t seem to care that much for outside of basic obligations. and the movie dares try to make him sympathetic by throwing in the fact he grew up poor and was bullied and not liked which i HATE

lots of people are/have been poor. lots of people are/have been bullied (myself included). that does NOT justify them DESTROYING THE WORLD TRYING TO TAKE IT OVER. can it be used to show the audience why he does what he does? yes. but to use it and clearly try to make it a reason to hand-wave-away what he did? NO. FUCK NO

also fucking. y’know how wonder woman took down this villain? she talked to him and the world. she gave a stirring speech while she laid slumped against a wall, not injured, just too weak to beat a bit of wind. she talked and she looped her lasso around his leg so she could talk to the world to to convince them to give up their wishes

once again... the mischaracterization

in the first movie, wonder woman gives a stirring speech while fighting Areas. it’s done in her battle, beating the god of war up while reminding him of what she stood for, who she was, why she would keep fighting for a broken world

it was BEAUTIFUL. it was MEANINGFUL. it was BADASS but SINCERE

this was weak. and it clearly wanted to be more than it was

the whole movie wants to be more than it is- it wants to have an important meaningful message like the first movie, about wishes for the self and war and the world and whatever. and it wants it so badly it does it horribly

the message is ham-handed yet messy and unclear and not right. it doesn’t make sense, and it feels poorly plotted. the movie thinks it’s more than it is and that makes it very hard to watch

and to finish my rant off... WW84 lied to its audience

did you see any ads for WW84? i did. they were bright, vibrant, funky music, stunning moments, action and intrigue. i was thrilled for a movie like it

the actual movie isn’t that

it’s not nearly as action filled, it’s not as ‘80s-focused as it leads you to believe, some of the most prominently featured moments barely matter

the lightning swing? pointless, as at that point in the movie wonder woman’s learned how to fly and does it for no reason but the trailers

and that cool suit? introduced in a random myth for no reason halfway through the movie, brought in at random with no explanation, only there for show and the trailers

WW84 is not the movie is lead people to believe it was, and the movie it is is poorly executed and insulting to a variety of peopler/minorities

if you’re gonna watch it, pirate it. i can give you a link. just don’t give dc your money or your legit views for it

#that got long #but what can i say? im passionate about my bad movies #and ww84? #that was a bad movie #if anyone wants clarification on smth let me know #wonder woman 1984 #ww84 #ww84 spoilers #the cryptid speaks #lost in the fray

[colour-outside-the-liness]

First of all!! Loved the MoU fic update! left you a comment on AO3 and all. 10/10 ratings haha.

Secondly, moving countries is great you should try if you ever get a chance. I've always wanted to do that and jumped in on the first opportunity I got to make that dream come true, and I recgozine how lucky I am to be able to do so. It's definitely not easy but I'd do it again if I could (in true sag fashion 😎 haha). Where would you want to live? You ever been outside the UK?

Hahaha you and I in a team would be a nightmare to play against I think. Oh come on you absolutely do not deserve people questioning your intelligence! I like to play dumb in addition to the taunting so people underestimate me, they never see it coming when I win. They never see the cheating coming either, my friends are always shocked when they find out, but I do it almost every single time! 😂 I'm competitive too but I like to play it cool especially If I lose I'll be like "it's just a game calm down yall" but if I win I'm like "in your face losers!" (very mature I know).

I love your drunken story, though does sound like it was very dangerous so I'm glad nothing bad happened to you two! Ah I love yalls nordern accent (me and everyone in this fandom 😂) haha your friend's sense of humor is golden.👌 I'm glad you enjoyed my worst drunken experience, that was the last time I did something like that, I felt bad bc my best friend had to take care of me the whole night and you're right she should've told me it was just a rock! Lucky you you didn't get a hangover the day after, I certainly regretted drinking too much that night however fun it might have been haha.

Like I said before your niece is a really cool kid haha I'm glad you have someone to talk to about Bly Manor, don't know anyone who watches the show and my friends don't like scary stuff so I have to talk to myself about it 😂 and now you! Thank you for entertaining me ;) and I only watch the parts I really like now, I'm tired of crying every time I watch the whole show haha.

Do you do random accents really badly like Dani too? 😂 it is kinda funny your mom said it like that yeah hahaha maybe she just meant the good bits? And I mean, do you think you need help? Lol

I have a sneak peek of that damie fanart here, don't think I'll ever finish it tho. I want to do a medieval AU inspired fanart. Maybe it will also inspire someone to pick up the idea and write it haha.

How's your weekend been so far? My neighbor is making me watch Grey's Anatomy season (???) 500 idk but I wish I was reading that pirate AU instead 😂

Awwh thank you so much!! I will get around to replying to the comment on AO3 tomorrow when I reply to the others I've had a very busy day today though so haven't even had chance to read any comments yet but thank you so much for giving it a 10/10!! I wanna do it as soon as I get chance but I know it's gonna be hard and that I am gonna need a bit more money behind me first but I definitely wanna do it when I can... yeah I've been out of the UK twice- one time I went to France for the weekend when I was doing my A Levels and was like 17 the college I was studying at took some of the art kids and since I was doing a photography A Level I got to go and then a couple of years ago I went to LA for a few weeks which was great but I've never been out of the UK for longer than that!! A nightmare for everyone else but it would be hilarious for us I just know it would haha... I sometimes do I have said some dumb things, I actually used one of my dumber moments as a funny little story in one of my fics- people still laugh at me now for what I said and it's been 10 years... my roommate will not let me live it down!! See surprising people that way is always brilliant like when people just expect you to lose and then you win? That's the best kind of win in my eyes!! I don't cheat at games I am just ridiculously competitive and can't stand losing unless it's something like a video game I am okay with losing those but board games I can't stand losing and I am also a terrible winner my roommate won't play games with me anymore!! I can't say anything about anyone being that kind of a winner because I know I am and one of my sister's is terrible too we literally make a song and dance over winning Oh it was so dangerous and we were so dumb to do it like anything could've happened and we both sit and look back at that and go "man we were dumb" but I also sit and go "oh my god she's gonna be a mum in like 4 months" because we've done some crazy / stupid stuff!! My roommate is without a doubt one of the funniest people I have ever met and she's not afraid to tell it how it is... I'll admit because I have a Northern accent Jamie is like the only character on Bly Manor to not have an accent to me so when I hear people talking about her accent I'm always a little like "what?" Because to me that's just how people talk around here haha I did enjoy your drunken story and honestly we've all been there I have had to be taken care of on more than one occasion for being too drunk like to the point of people having to help me into my pyjamas and everything I've been in some bad ways haha!! She should've definitely told you it was just a rock and not a turtle!! Yeah I've only had one hangover and that was after a night of drinking where I blacked out and don't remember any of the night!! Yeah the night of the drinking is always fun- the hangover isn't though and often makes you wonder if it was worth it haha She's so cool like genuinely just a cool and funny kid and she just asks all the questions about shows she's watched so with me its Bly Manor with her mum and dad it's Stranger Things she asked me about it once but I had to tell her I'd never watched it she didn't seem impressed but yeah I'll talk to her about Bly Manor any day of the week- and you too now honestly I will talk about it to anyone that will listen... I can't not watch it all if I watch it because there's just so much about it that I love even if it makes me cry... episodes 4,6, and 8 are my favourites though and are probably the ones I have watched the most!! Yeah I do random accents all the time and they're always terrible but I always find myself really funny- I had this friend at Uni that had a slight southern English accent because he had spent most of his childhood there before moving up north and he still said certain words in a southern accent and I used to do his accent all the time but it was always terrible!! Oh yeah my mum is pretty blunt with stuff like she'll say things sometimes without thinking about how it sounds that or she just doesn't care like she's said

somethings haha I am sure she did mean the Dani thing in a nice way though because she said she liked her- Dani and Owen were her favourites and I mean some help for me wouldn't be a terrible thing I'll admit haha That fan art is incredible!! Like seriously amazing!! I would love to see some medieval fan art for Damie!! I have been sent a few medieval prompts for Damie and I have started writing some of them but it's taking time to actually get full chapters together but once I have and once I have more time from wrapping up other WIPs I'll make a start on editing and uploading those because medieval stuff is always great!! It's been good thank so far today I went to a little beach town with my mum, 2 of my sisters their partners and two of my nieces (my cool niece was one of them… not that my other niece isn’t cool but you know what I mean) and me, my two brother in laws, and my nieces all played a game of crazy golf while my mum and sisters went to a cafe and had cups of tea... they didn't wanna play with us but we still had fun while we played (I came second which I was very happy with)!! I hope you enjoy Grey's Anatomy and that you get chance to read the pirate AU soon!! It's soo good!! ☺️

[fantastic-bby]

Can You See The Sounds?

Pairing: Reader x Hongjoong

Word count: 5.7k

Genre: Fluff

Tags: Synesthesia!Hongjoong, non-idol!Reader

Summary:  Whenever Hongjoong makes music, he wondered whether he’ll ever be able to express the colours that he sees to others with synesthesia. When Wooyoung introduced him to an old friend (who just so happened to have synesthesia as well), Hongjoong realised that with her help, he could help bring the colours of his music to life...

A/n: I edited this at 3.30 a.m. so I’m sorry if there’s any mistakes shjsjhs. I was inspired bcs one of my friends has synesthesia I think it’s a really cool thing uwu

He sat in front of the computer, the sunlight slowly making its way into his room as the Sun slowly rose. The knock on his door was unheard by him with his headphones on, the composition he had spent weeks making playing through his ears. 

“Hyung,” Yeosang called to him with his head poking into the room. He pursed his lips when Hongjoong didn’t respond nor acknowledge his presence. “Hyung.” He called out louder as he stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. “Hongjoong-ah!” He yelled. Hongjoong jumped at the calling and finally turned around, pulling off his headphones in the process. 

“Oh, hey.” He muttered at him before taking notice of the Sun’s glow, “Is it morning already?” Hongjoong let out a yawn and ran through his messy silver hair as he pulled open the curtains to allow more natural light into his room.

“Did you not sleep at all?” Yeosang questioned from his spot in front of the door, the dark circles under his leader’s eyes growing more prominent with every passing day. Hongjoong shook his head as he turned back to the computer screen, 

“I’ve been working the entire night. I don’t really need sleep. The colours make me feel energised.” He muttered out as he continued to play around with the composition.

“Hyung, you need to sleep at least a few hours.” Yeosang sighed, “Seonghwa hyung made breakfast. He told me to come and see if you’re still working.” The mention of Seonghwa made Hongjoong turn to the beds, only then noticing that Seonghwa’s bed that was sitting on the other side of the room was empty and neatly made. 

“Wow, I didn’t even realise he got up.” Hongjoong chuckled as he paused the composition and placed his headphones on the desk to stand up. “I’ll take a nap after this.” He promised Yeosang with another yawn as the two of them made their way into the dining room to see everyone else had already begun eating.

“Finally.” Seonghwa huffed as he saw Yeosang return with his roommate, “I’ve been trying to call you for the past ten minutes.” He threw him a sharp look. 

“Sorry, I had my headphones in.” He sheepishly apologised as he sat with his bandmates. 

“What were you working on this time?” Mingi asked with a mouthful of food. 

“I’m trying to put together a composition based on what colours look the best together.” Hongjoong hums out in response and stuffed his own mouth with a spoonful of rice. 

“What’s that thing called again?” San asked. 

“Synesthesia, and the colours are getting more vibrant the more I work. I’m testing out the colour thing so that maybe whoever has synesthesia can enjoy the way the music projects the colours to them as well.” Hongjoong spoke.

“It must be so cool to see colours when you hear sounds.” Wooyoung’s voice came out muffled with how full his mouth was and ended up earning a smack to his shoulder, 

“Yah, don’t talk with your mouth full.” Jongho scolded him from his side. Wooyoung gave his younger member a scowl as he chewed his food. 

“It is cool, though. Maybe that’s why Hongjoong hyung always writes the best lyrics.” Yunho smiled at him. Hongjoong couldn’t help but smile at Yunho’s words as a light blush crept on his cheeks. 

“It doesn’t mean you should be staying up all night.” Seonghwa piped in, “You didn’t sleep at all last night.” He stated. 

“I know, Seonghwa. I’ll work on it, I promise. I was just so invested in it.” Hongjoong apologised to him, feeling bad for making his members worry for his sleeping schedule. 

“You better or else you’ll fall asleep at practice again.” Jongho jokes. “The last time you did it, Uzin hyung took selfies while you were sleeping and you didn’t even wake up from that.” He chuckled. Hongjoong’s cheeks flared with embarrassment and he kept his head down, refraining from saying anything that may continue the discussion of his terrible sleeping schedule. 

His idea in creating music that was fitting for others that also had synesthesia was his way of trying to make them feel less alone. It was also a way for him to try and make them feel less insecure of what he considered a gift. He didn’t want others to feel as though they had been given a curse rather than a blessing; a thought he had struggled with for many years. 

“Have you met anyone else that has synesthesia?” Yeosang questioned, making Hongjoong look up at him. 

“Not yet.” He shook his head, “I hope one day I do, though. I’ll finally find someone who’s like me.” He smiled at the thought of it. He had always wanted to find someone else that shared synesthesia, hoping that together they could form something more beautiful than just a composition.

Their breakfast carried on with their usual energy filled conversations. Hongjoong finished his breakfast first, wanting to listen to his composition one more time before taking a nap. The rest of the group watched as he disappeared into his shared bedroom. 

“Is he overworking himself again?” Wooyoung asked once he was out of earshot. 

“A little bit.” Seonghwa sighed as he picked up his now empty plate and moved into the kitchen. 

“Hongjoong hyung’s been working every night until the sun comes up. He barely gets any sleep.” Jongho shook his head. 

“Do you know anything we could try and get his mind away from working for a few days?” Mingi asked, “I mean, we’re off for the next month or so.” 

“Who’s going back to their families?” Seonghwa asked as he approached the dining table. Yeosang, San, Yunho and Mingi raised their hands. “Okay, do any of you know anyone with synesthesia?” He asked towards Jongho and Wooyoung. They both shook their heads. 

“Oh, wait.” Wooyoung perked up, “I know someone who does.” He nodded.

“How old are they?” Seonghwa asked as he sat down at his seat from before. 

“She’s a 99 liner. Her name’s (Y/n). Her brother goes to the same kindergarten as Kyungmin. He goes to their house a lot.” 

“Have you met her before?” Jongho asked. 

“Yeah, back then I would accompany Kyungmin to their house. We used to be quite close.” Wooyoung nodded.

“Say we do get ahold of her, what’s your plan, hyung?” Yunho questioned Seonghwa. 

“We invite her out for lunch to hang out and let them get to know each other. Maybe she can take Hongjoong’s mind off of working for a while and convince him to actually leave the dorms.” He explained to the others. Wooyoung stood up from the table and picked up his plate, pulling his phone out of his pocket as he disappeared into the kitchen. 

“What if it doesn’t work?” Yeosang questioned with pursed lips. “What if they don’t get along?” All their shoulders slumped as the possibility slipped its way into their minds. 

“Well, we just hope that it does. Hongjoong deserves to rest. He’s been working hard ever since our debut.” Seonghwa leaned back into his chair with a sigh. Wooyoung entered the dining room once again with a smile on his face and his phone held up, 

“She agreed to hang out with us.” He announced. 

“Okay, now we just let Hongjoong know we’re going out for lunch with a friend and see if it works.” Seonghwa hoped that maybe this could go well enough that (Y/n) would be able to pull Hongjoong away from his work. 

He stood up from the table, making his way to his bedroom - being sure to remind the group to clean up after themselves - and was greeted with the sight of Hongjoong laying in his bed completely knocked out. 

Seonghwa let out a sigh at the sight of his leader and moved over to Hongjoong's desk, curious to see what he was composing. He lifted the headphones and held one half of it to his ear, reaching for the spacebar to let it play; unaware of the wire knocking against the table.

"Don't you dare." Hongjoong muttered out sleepily. Seonghwa put the headphones down and turned around to see Hongjoong lazily looking at him, "It's not done yet. I'll play it for you when it's done." He yawned and turned over, quickly falling back asleep. 

“How did you wake up from that and not us shaking you that time during practice?” Seonghwa chuckled at him. 

“I saw a green flash. Whenever my headphones knock against something, I see green.” Hongjoong mumbled out from being in and out of his sleep. 

“But our voices don’t make you wake up?” He raised an eyebrow despite Hongjoong’s back facing him. 

“Your voices are blurrier. It’s easier to ignore and harder for me to notice while I’m sleeping.” He explained, words slurred as he was slowly falling back asleep. Seonghwa chuckled at him and looked at his computer monitor. He saw a small notepad open on his desk, taking a glimpse at the lyrics scribbled messily onto the page before deciding to respect Hongjoong’s privacy and left the room to let him rest. 

»»————-　　————-««

“(Y/n)-ie, I promise they’re nice.” Wooyoung told her over the phone. 

“Why do I need to be there again?” She questioned as she looked into the living room from the kitchen, watching her and Wooyoung’s brothers playing with the PS4. “I don’t see how me being able to see colours through sounds is related to you or your friends.”

“You see, that’s exactly what relates you to us!” His raise of voice made (Y/n) move her phone away from her face slightly. “Hongjoong hyung has that syn-synes-synth-”

“It’s synesthesia, Wooyoung-ie.” She finished for him with a chuckle, “Does he really?” She questioned, now more intrigued that there was finally someone else that had synesthesia. When no answer came through she giggled, “Woo, I can’t hear you if you nod.” She stated. 

“Oh, right! Sorry.” He laughed, “Can you come down to Seoul for a few days, please? Hongjoong hyung really needs something to do other than working and we’re hoping that you could help him since you share something special.” He pleaded. “You can stay at the dorms. Yeosang’s going back to Pohang, so you can stay in my room and I can sleep on the couch.”

“Okay, I’ll come.” She agreed, “But I’m getting an AirBnB, I’m not going to sleep in your dorm.” She clarified in slight disgust. 

“There’s nothing bad with our dorm.” He defended. “Seonghwa hyung makes us clean everything and he cleans everything we don’t.”

“It’s still kinda weird, Woo. Let’s just see what happens, okay?” 

“Just let me know if you need anywhere to stay. I’ll convince all of them to move out if I need to!” He joked.

“Okay, Woo.” She chuckled, “Oh wait! What do I tell your brother if he asks why he can’t come?” She asked. 

“Say it’s work related.”

“Can I really not bring him? I think he misses you a lot. He talks about you all the time.” She spoke. 

“Really?” He questioned, feeling slightly guilty that he couldn’t return to his home. “Tell him I’m coming home next month.”

“Okay, Woo. I’ll update you if anything happens.” She hung up and left the kitchen.

“Who was that?” Kyungmin, asked as she walked back into the living room. 

“Your hyung invited me to Seoul to spend time with him and his friends.” She said as she plopped herself beside her younger brother. 

“Can I come?” His brother snapped his head to her, “I haven’t seen hyung in a really long time.” He pouted at her. 

“I don’t think so, Kyungmin.” She shook her head, “It takes a while to get there and it’s grown up stuff.” His brother sulked and sadly turned back to the screen. “He told me to tell you he’s coming back next month, though.” Her words made him turn back to her, 

“Really? I get to see hyung?” He questioned with a smile growing on his face. 

“Yep!” She nodded. “You just have to be patient.” She ruffled his hair as he nodded ecstatically and turned back to the screen. The sound of a gunshot triggered a muddy green colour to flash at her eyes and her entire body flinched as reaction towards the colour, “Woah, that’s ugly.” Her eyes widened, both the younger boys turning to look at her. 

“Noona, are you okay?” Her younger brother asked. 

“I’m fine. The gunshot made me see an ugly colour.” She nodded at him. 

“Why do you see colours when you hear sounds?” Kyungmin asked as both the boys paused the game and turned to her. 

“I don’t know actually.” She shrugged, never knowing why she was born with synesthesia while her brother wasn’t. She hoped that maybe if her younger brother had it, she wouldn’t feel so estranged from the rest of society. “I don’t know why I have it and why you don’t have it.” She looked at her brother. 

“Maybe it’s because you’re special.” He stated. (Y/n) looked at him in slight surprise at his words, 

“I don’t know about that.” She chuckled and ruffled his hair. 

“But (Y/n) noona, you are! Hyung invited you down for work so you must be really important!” Kyungmin exclaimed. She smiled at him and picked him up off the floor and threw him in the air, 

“Aww, I’m that special?” She asked as he giggled when she set him down. Both the boys nodded vigorously, 

“You’re my bestest sister!” Her brother gave her a toothy grin. She smiled at the two of them, 

“Since you said such nice things about me, how about we go and get some ice cream?” She suggested, chuckling as she saw the way their eyes widened with excitement. “Turn off the PS4 and clean up the living room and we’ll go, okay?” They both nodded and immediately started picking the tossed cushions up off the floor. 

»»————-　　————-««

“Hongjoong hyung, let’s go!” Jongho called out from the front door with Seonghwa and Wooyoung. The door to Hongjoong and Seonghwa’s bedroom opened to reveal a very sleepy looking Hongjoong rushing to them. 

“Sorry, I fell asleep while getting ready.” He yawned out. 

“You didn’t sleep last night?” Wooyoung questioned as they stepped out of the dorm and started making their way to the restaurant they promised to meet (Y/n) at. 

“I got about an hour.” He shrugged, struggling to keep his eyes open. 

“I told you we were meeting Wooyoung’s friend today. Why didn’t you sleep earlier?” Seonghwa nagged him. 

“I don’t know ‘mum’, I was busy.” Hongjoong scowled at him. 

“You need to stop overworking yourself, hyung.” Jongho spoke up from beside him, “We’re supposed to be on a break.” 

“I’m managing my schedule, I promise.” He huffed out. The other three gave him a look. “I sleep at least an hour a day.” He shrugged, his crankiness starting to show from his lack of sleep.

“You’re really cranky today.” Wooyoung pointed out. 

“This is why you need sleep.” Jongho stated. 

“Can we change the subject? I’ll get proper sleep after lunch.” Hongjoong snapped at them. “Who are we meeting anyway?” 

“An old friend of Wooyoung. She’s in Seoul for a few days so we might spend the next few days with her.” Seonghwa spoke. 

“Her name’s (Y/n). She’s really nice.” Wooyoung piped in. Hongjoong nodded at him. He felt too tired to care much about what was going on. 

“Don’t be cranky.” Seonghwa reminded him. 

“Stop acting like a parent.” Hongjoong mocked him. 

“Wow, you are seriously cranky today. For once I feel like knocking sense into you more than Wooyoung.” Jongho cringed as they walked into the restaurant that was luckily not too far from both their dorms and (Y/n)’s AirBnB.

“Please don’t do anything that might scare her. I haven’t seen her in awhile.” Wooyoung looked mostly towards Hongjoong who sighed and nodded, finally aware of how snappy he was being. Wooyoung searched the restaurant and his eyes lit up when he saw her waving as she sat at one of the tables. 

They made their way over to her table and Wooyoung immediately hugged her when she stood up,

“(Y/n)-ie! I haven’t seen you in so long! I missed you!” He was lifted her up as he bounced up and down. 

“Ah! Wooyoung-ie!” She yelped in surprise. “You need to call more often.” She scolded him with a slap to his arm once he put her down. 

“I got busy, I’m so sorry.” He sheepishly smiled at her. “Oh! This is Seonghwa hyung, Hongjoong hyung and Jongho.” He turned to his friends who waved at her. She waved back at them as they sat down. Her eyes fell on Hongjoong; remembering why she was there. 

“I ordered fried chicken and bulgogi. I hope that’s okay.” She told them. By the way their eyes lit up, she knew she had made the right choice. 

“So, what are you doing in Seoul?” Hongjoong questioned, feeling strangely intrigued by her presence. 

“I haven’t been here in a while and I thought it’d be nice to drop Wooyoung a visit.” She told. 

“How long have you known Wooyoung hyung?” Jongho asked. 

“We grew up in the same neighbourhood, so we hung out a lot up until he decided he wanted to become an idol and stopped calling me after your debut.” She threw a look at Wooyoung who simply smiled at her. 

Their lunch carried on smoothly, (Y/n) feeling completely natural around them. The feeling was mutual, Seonghwa, Jongho and Hongjoong not once feeling awkward as they conversed with her. (Y/n) noted the way Hongjoong seemed to perk up every time she spoke. 

She glanced up at Seonghwa who was throwing glances to Jongho and Wooyoung, aware of what they wanted to do. Their plan was to try and get her alone with Hongjoong so they could talk about their synesthesia.

“I’ll go pay.” Seonghwa spoke up once they had finished eating. He left the table, Wooyoung managing to find an excuse that would pull Jongho away from the table to leave (Y/n) and Hongjoong alone. The air around the table surprisingly stayed casual. 

“Wooyoung told me you have synesthesia.” (Y/n) said to him. His eyes seemed to light up at the mention of his condition, 

“Yeah, I do. It helps me write songs.” He nodded. 

“What colour am I?” She questioned, resting her elbows on the table and giving him in interested look. He was slightly taken aback, not thinking that she would ask about her colour but he thought about it nonetheless. 

He paused as he thought about it. He hadn’t really been paying attention to the colours that he was seeing throughout lunch but as he thought about it and he realised that’s why he was so intrigued by her; her colour flow was gorgeous. 

“I see a lot of colours.” He nodded at her, “I see purple when you speak. It’s like a flow of purple and when you laugh it spikes violently and turns into a darker, more blueish colour.” He smiled at her. Her heart fluttered at the way he explained the colour. She had never really been able to pinpoint her own colour, but hearing it from someone else was making her heartbeat quicken and her stomach tingle with excitement and warmth. 

“That’s really nice.” She smiled at him, “You’re a deep pastel pink. Whenever you laugh, it turns into a beautiful mellow yellow.” She watched the way his smile dropped and his eyes widened as he leaned away from her. “Your colours blend together well and it’s as soothing as the way your voice sounds. You are pleasing to both the ears and the eyes.” She bit her lip as she saw him increasingly getting flustered and bewildered. 

“Y-You have it too?” His voice was barely audible with how shocked it was, but it (Y/n) could hear him and nodded. “Wow,” He breathed out as a smile grew one his once again and his eyes started to sparkle with wonder. He leaned back towards the table, “You’re the first person that I’ve met that also has synesthesia.” 

“You are too. I’ve always wondered how other people see my colour. Now that you’ve told me, I’m very flattered.” She giggled lightly. 

“When did you realise you had it?” He asked, the excited smile on his face never once faltering. 

“I asked my science teacher about it when I was in middle school. He said that it’s pretty rare and that it’s not anything dangerous, I just associate sounds with colours.” She explained as she recalled the memory. 

“Did you have any trouble with it while growing up?” He questioned further. She nodded at him. The day she found out she had synesthesia, it just made everything more difficult. She was already struggling with trying to fit in and now she had something that just made her feel more out of touch with other people. 

“It was hard. I never saw it as anything special really.” She sighed, “I just thought it was a nuisance since things I would enjoy would make me see really ugly colours like whenever I’d ride roller coasters or whenever my brother plays games with me. The gunshots and the clicking make me see muddy or really dull colours that make it less fun.” She gave him a half smile, “But I got used to it. I learned to ignore the colours.”

Hongjoong pursed his lips at that. “Do you do anything creative with it?” He questioned.

“The most I do is painting, but I don’t really keep up with that anymore.” She shrugged. His eyes lit up once again.

“Can we try something together?” He asked, bringing up his idea with her. At first, (Y/n) found it quite weird. He had been very forward with it and his way of asking her made her think he wanted to do something a bit weirder. Upon hearing his idea, she agreed. 

“But you have to promise me you’ll be letting me do most of the work while you rest.” She extended her pinkie finger out at him.

“I promise.” He chuckled and locked his pinkie around hers. 

“Hey, you ready to go?” Seonghwa returned to the table with Jongho and Wooyoung. 

“That took quite a while.” Hongjoong mentioned as he stood up. 

“Something wrong with the card.” Seonghwa shrugged as he subtly pulled Hongjoong to the front with him and Jongho to let Wooyoung talk to (Y/n).

“Did it work?” He asked, voice low enough that Hongjoong wouldn’t hear. 

“Yea, we vibe pretty well.” She nodded, “He wants to try and make something using his composition, I agreed.” 

“Is he going to be working again?” Wooyoung groaned out but she shook her head. 

“He promised to let me do most of the work and that he’ll rest.” She smiled when he saw his confused look. 

“As long as he’s finally taking it easy, we won’t worry.” He nodded. 

»»————-　　————-««

She sat at Hongjoong’s desk and listened to his composition. Hongjoong stood behind her  nervously as he chewed on the skin on the end of his thumb, a large blank canvas and a set of oil paints in the bag that was slung from his shoulder.

 This was the first time he was showing someone his composition. (Y/n) listened to it, her mind completely immersed with it as the music played. The colours that were blending together just made the composition seem almost magical. 

“Can you see the sounds?” He asked anxiously, watching as she nodded to him slowly as her mind was too entranced with the sounds and colours. She pulled the headphones off slowly when the composition ended and she turned to Hongjoong who was still nervous to hear her thoughts on it. 

“Hongjoong-ssi, that song was amazing.” (Y/n) looked at him in awe, “The song itself is so amazing and the way the colours just blended made it even more beautiful.” A smile made its way on both their faces, “I know exactly what to do but you’ll need to cover the floor with a huge towel or plastic.” She said as she stood up from his chair and gently took the bag off of his shoulder. 

Hongjoong made his way to his closet and pulled out a towel that was large enough to sit under the entire canvas as (Y/n) set the frame down. She handed him a cup that he went into the bathroom to fill up as she got more of her supplies ready. She sat cross-legged in front of the canvas and started working after he set down the cup of water beside her. 

The smell of turpentine quickly filled the room from her oil thinner and forced them to crack open the window to fan out the vague odour. 

He sat on his bed and watched intently as she brushed each colour onto the canvas. Hongjoong found himself growing more and more excited as he watched the way she put the headphones on, painting on what she could see onto the canvas. He wanted to see how other people saw his music and this was bringing (Y/n)’s view of it to life right in front of his eyes. 

The hours passed by as (Y/n) continued to paint the canvas with Hongjoong watching. Seonghwa entered the room once to give them dinner as well as drinks and tried his best not to look at the canvas as to not ruin their surprise for them. 

“Kinda like a mum, huh?” (Y/n) chuckled when Seonghwa left the room, taking a moment to feed herself a bite of the kimbap he had made. 

“A little bit, but it’s good that he cares for us that way. If he didn’t, I think the whole dorm would be either on fire or a complete mess.” Hongjoong joked as he sipped on the orange juice Seonghwa had given them.

“Is he the only one in the dorm who cooks?” She questioned as she put the empty bowl down and picked up her brush once again, 

“Jongho and San usually help him out in the kitchen.” He shook his head, "I cook too, but I’m usually working so I don’t exactly spend much time in the kitchen.”

“How much time do you spend on your computer?” She asked without taking her eyes off of the canvas. 

“A lot. I don’t really sleep and the guys are worried about it.” He sighed, a yawn fighting it’s way past his lips as he realised how exhausted he really felt. (Y/n) turned to him, only then noticing the heavy eyelids and dark circles. 

“Go to sleep, Hongjoong-ssi. I’ll wake you up when I finish this.” She urged him with a soft smile. He pursed his lips as he contemplated just fighting his low energy but she only urged him more. “You promised me you’d rest.” She reminded with a raised eyebrow.

“Okay, I’ll sleep.” He chuckled as he moved his empty bowl and glass to his table. He slid under the covers, peeking over at her before letting his exhaustion take over. (Y/n) continued to work as he rested, seeing a very soft and mellow yellow when she heard his soft snores. She turned to him briefly, chuckling to herself at how his lips were parted slightly. 

It only took (Y/n) a few more hours to finally finish her masterpiece. She placed the brush into the cup of water, a small splash followed as she let out a yawn and sat back to look at it. The reddish orange at the top left corner blended into the blue and purple, splotches of a faded green and red painted into the blues and purples. She covered the whole top edge with slate blue and sparkled the lower right corner with golden metallic ripples as though droplets of the gold were being dropped into the blue. 

She stood up and stretched her body, the ache in her back being very obvious when she stood. She turned to the clock that was sitting on Hongjoong’s desk; 2:31 a.m. She had been working for almost 9 hours.

With a gentle shake to the shoulder, Hongjoong’s eyelids fluttered open and he turned to (Y/n). He moved around in his bed before sitting up and rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. 

“Is it done?” He asked with a yawn. 

“Yeah, finally.” She nodded and looked at the canvas as it sat on the towel, a smile on her face with how proud she was at how it turned out. Hongjoong pulled the covers off of himself and stood up beside her, stretching his arms out in the air before he looked at the canvas. 

“Holy shit.” He muttered out when he saw it. His eyes widened and whatever was left from his sleep completely disappeared as he stepped closer to the canvas to admire (Y/n)’s work. “Holy shit, this is amazing.” He turned to her with eyes full of awe and a smile on his face. 

“It turned out way better than I thought it would.” She chuckled as she looked at it as well. 

“Should we show the guys?” He asked without taking his eyes off of it, too immersed in the blend of colours. 

“Maybe in the morning since it’s two a.m.” She said as she pointed towards his desk clock. “We can let it dry overnight.”

“You can sleep in Seonghwa’s bed if you’d like.” Hongjoong pointed out as he gently moved the canvas to a safer spot. “Don’t worry. He keeps his side of the room very well taken care of compared to mine.” He joked as he gestured to the mess of his desk. (Y/n) plopped herself onto Seonghwa’s bed without much hesitation, being too tired to argue and wanting nothing but to finally sleep. 

Hongjoong stayed awake, being completely well rested after finally having a decent amount of sleep and continued to look at the painting. He was done with the composition days ago. He was just worried about letting the rest of his group listen to with the worry that he had focused too much on how it would look rather than how it would sound.

As the Sun rose, Hongjoong was on his computer, listening to his composition while looking at the painting. (Y/n) was sleeping soundly, her snores sending his eyes a ripple of pastel blue. The gentle knock on the door made him turn to see Wooyoung peeking his head in, 

“Seonghwa hyung’s calling you guys for breakfast.” He told him, his eyes searching the room and stopping at (Y/n)’s sleeping figure. He stepped into the room and gently closed the door. “Are you guys done with your thing?” He whispered to Hongjoong who nodded, watching the way he slowly made his way to her side. He leaned down and looked at her sleeping face. 

(Y/n) opened her eyes slowly and let out a yelp in surprise as she jerked away from Wooyoung and ended up falling off of the bed. 

“Wooyoung-ie!” She whined as she sat up, “Don’t do that!” She grumbled at him as she stood up. 

“Sorry, (Y/n)-ie.” He giggled mischievously as he hurried out of the room out of fear of being hit by her. (Y/n) continued to grumble under her breath before turning to the very amused Hongjoong. 

“Did you not sleep after I fell asleep?” She questioned with a yawn as she stretched. 

“I slept for quite a bit while you were painting so I didn’t really feel tired.” He shook his head as he turned to the painting, “It’s dry, by the way.” He mentioned and stood up from his chair to lift up the painting. 

“Let’s show it to them?” She suggested and he nodded. He handed her the frame as he pulled out a smaller towel from his closet to cover it and they both left the room. Wooyoung, Jongho and Seonghwa had already begun eating and all their heads lifted from their food as (Y/n) and Hongjoong made their way to the end of the table. 

“Are you guys done?” Jongho asked when he saw the covered painting. Both of them nodded their heads excitedly, (Y/n) holding the frame up. 

“Hongjoong-ssi slept while I was working on it and I slept after, so don’t worry about us getting sleep.” She stated to them, seeing Seonghwa’s worried look that questioned their hours working. 

“(Y/n)-ssi worked really hard on this, and I think it’s amazing.” Hongjoong announced as he pulled away the towel to reveal the painting to his bandmates. The six pairs of eyes widened immediately. 

“Holy shit.” Wooyoung whispered out as he looked at it. 

“It looks so beautiful.” Seonghwa breathed out in awe. 

“You made this?” Jongho asked, his mind completely blown as he looked closer to the painting. 

“This is how I see Hongjoong-ssi’s composition. He said he made it in a way that would be pleasing to the ears as well as the eyes and it honestly worked. It is a masterpiece and I think it’s spectacular.” She turned to Hongjoong who was smiling at her. His heart was fluttering at her words. 

“You’re both awesome!” Wooyoung exclaimed. 

“Let’s frame it in the living room so that everyone can see it when they get back from our break.” Seonghwa suggested with a smile on his face. (Y/n) and Hongjoong’s smiles widened more. They placed the painting leaning on the counter as they ate their breakfast and got to the living room after to find a spot for it. 

“How long are you going to be in Seoul?” Hongojong asked (Y/n) as they hung the painting together. 

“Three more days.” She hummed out as she took a step back after hanging it.

“I think we should spend more time together.” He suggested as they both admired it from the spot it hung on the wall. (Y/n)’s heart jumped. The colours that flashed at his words made her feel more excited and she wanted to see more of his voice. 

“That sounds like a great idea.”

#kpop imagines #kpop reactions #kpop scenarios #kpop fan fiction #kpop fanfic #kpop timestamps #kpop drabbles #kpop fluff #ateez #ateez imagines #ateez reactions #ateez scenarios #ateez fan fiction #ateez fanfic #ateez timestamps #ateez drabbles #ateez fluff #kim hongjoong #hongjoong ateez #hongjoong #park seonghwa #seonghwa ateez #seonghwa #jeong yunho #yunho ateez #yunho #kang yeosang #yeosang ateez #yeosang #choi san

[nadisabug]

Fictober 2019-Day 11

Title: Alone pt. 2

Prompt number: 11 "It's not always like this." Fandom: Danganronpa (SDR2) AU: post-simulation (note: not apart of the fictober-sdr2 series I am doing, this is separate bc I have been doing so much angst and I need a break) Rating: T (teen) Warnings: slight panic attack and another nightmare Tags: SuperDanganronpa2, Komahina A/N: Okay so this is late too, but its long. very long. so yay!! this is a part 2 for day 8 (had to look it up lol) bc i can’t leave my gaybies hanging :,) i will catch up though, one way or another!! 

EDIT: links to part one and three

***

Waking up was awkward. Nagito was an early riser, much to his dismay, but that next morning Nagito did not wake up first.

He woke up slowly, the foreign, fuzzy feeling of knowing he had slept too long, but still couldn't bring himself to wake up. He felt the light shining from behind his closed eyelids, but thought nothing of it, nuzzling deeper into his cocoon to block it out. After he moved, he felt the arms around him shift and gently shake his shoulders. A husky voice accompanied the motion.

"Nagito, I need to go."

Nagito felt the memories of last night hit him like a truck. A truck that then threw it in reverse and ran him over again when he realized that he was laying on Hinata's chest, curled and wrapped around him.

Nagito shot up, pushing on Hinata's chest to sit up, and then attempting to scoot away from the other boy as fast as he could. The quick motion sent his head spinning, and black dots danced in his vision.

Hinata reached out and grabbed Nagito's shoulders, steadying him. Hinata looked worried, his brow creased and mouth turned down. Oh god, he's upset with me, its my fault he hates me he wants to leave-

"I am so sorry," Hinata began talking, cutting Nagito's thoughts off before he could vocalize them. "I was worried about waking you up. I really didn't want to, but I really need to go. So I thought about sneaking out but..." Hinata sucked in a breath. Nagito felt Hinata's thumbs rub circles into his shoulders, and Nagito released the tension in them. "I... did not want you to wake up alone."

Hinata studied Nagito's face. Nagito wasn't sure what he saw, but he knew he had to at least be blushing.

"I am sorry if I scared you," Hinata offered after the silence became unbearable.

He thinks I'm... Does he not even realize how we woke up? That we were... he doesn't... oh my god has he always been this dense?

Nagito forced a small smile. "No, it's okay, I'm actually very thankful that you spent so much time on someone like me."

Hinata frowned. "Of course I would spend time on someone like you. Seeing as you are worth it and not trash."

"You don't have-"

"Yes I do," Hinata interrupted sternly. "Seeing as you don't believe it yourself." He paused and looked over at the clock. "Shit, I got to go." He looked back at Nagito. "Are you going to be okay?" He reached over and tucked a part of Nagito's hair behind his ear.

Nagito stopped breathing for what felt like minutes. His face burned, and he looked away, unable to look at Hinata anymore.

Nagito mumbled something like "mhm" and nodded slightly. Hinata apparently took that as a yes, as he let go of Nagito's shoulders and threw the covers off of himself. He hopped out of the bed and padded over to the door.

"Okay, great. See you tonight!" With that, Hajime was out the door.

See you tonight? Do we have a meeting tonight? Nagito mused as he wormed his way back into the covers. He tried to get comfortable, but couldn't seem to manage it. The bed was starting to feel cold, merely an echo of the warmth Hinata provided remained. Nagito sighed as he flailed in his bed. He curled into a tight ball and squeezed his eyes shut.

He wasn't going back to sleep. He was already too awake. Nagito spread out on the bed, taking up the full twin mattress. Maybe I can just lay here until I need to get up. Hinata has stuff to do, but I don't. If I did, I would mess it up anyway. I mean, I could go to breakfast...

Nagito's stomach grumbled. Then he thought about Hinata, sitting down at the table, peers talking to him, him smiling, and the Hinata looking over at Nagito and-

He wasn't sure what would happen next, but he was sure that he stomach immediately felt uneasy and eating became the last thing on his mind. He couldn't see Hinata so soon after they...

Nagito made up his mind to lay in his bed for the rest of the day.

He rolled over and pressed his face into the pillow, content on disassociating for the rest of all time. He heaved another large sigh, breathing into the pillow. Something just felt so calming and-

The bed smelled like Hinata.

Nagito got out of bed, deciding maybe lying in bed wasn't the best of ideas.

----------

Nagito hovered outside of his door. The day came and went and now it was time for his least favorite part of the day. Sleeping. Because that meant dreaming and Nagito did not want to dream.

He thought about how nice it had been to sleep with... how nice it had been to not be alone. His mind couldn't bear to finish that thought, but he could recognize that waking up alone from his night terrors had not been particularly enjoyable.

But Hinata was currently in a meeting with Kuzuryu, Pekoyama (of course, they were inseparable after they woke up), Nidai, and a few others discussing the creation of a patrol. So he was busy.

Even though what they were doing was so full of hope, Nagito felt himself getting upset. It wasn't like him.

It wasn't that he didn't want them to do all that, it was just... he didn't want Hinata to have to be there. It was so late, and he had to take care of everything all the time. Nagito thought he needed a break.

The more selfish side of Nagito knew the real reason why Hinata being tied up bothered him so much.

Nagito opened the door and began to get ready for bed. He didn't feel exhausted as usual, probably since last night he was able to actually sleep. After Nagito usually wakes up from a terror like that, sleep afterwards was a moot point. He was never able to.

He slipped into a nightshirt and old sweatpants and laid down in his bed. He didn't want to go to sleep just yet, so he began reading a book that was next to the bedside table. He did his best to focus, but after a while he felt himself drifting off again.

Flashes of red splashed across his vision. People were screaming, dying, burning, and Nagito was the one doing it. He felt a heavy weight around his neck. A collar. A chain. People were screaming. Explosions shook his body and he almost fell. He was running. No, he was standing. Watching the school burn down as students were trying to escape. They were screaming.

No, he was screaming.

"Nagito! Wake up!" A worried voice cut through the noise, and Nagito felt his voice crack. He was sitting up, someone clutching his shoulders. He opened his eyes but all he could see was Hinata.

"I killed them," Nagito hiccuped and sobbed. "I killed them I blew them all up I killed everyone I killed you I killed you-"

"Hey!" Hinata caught Nagito's face and held him firm with one hand, the other still supporting Nagito's torso. "Everyone is okay, you didn't do anything. I am here, I am alive, see?"

"No, no, no," Nagito chanted, shaking his head. He tried to wiggle out of Hinata's grasp, but he was far too weak and delirious. "I killed you, I did it, I killed you, you're dead and it's all my fault!" Nagito voice was low and hoarse from his screams, but as he bit out those words, it felt like they were twenty times as loud.

Hinata let go of Nagito's shoulder and snatched his hand. He pulled it to himself, still cradling Nagito's cheek with his right hand, and placed it over his chest. "Nagito, I am here. I am right here, you can feel my heart. Do you feel it?"

"No, no, it's my fault-"

"Nagito!" Hajime let go of Nagito's face as Nagito tried to shake him off. He used it to hold Nagito's hand in place, wrapping around his wrist. "Do you feel my heartbeat? Focus on feeling it. What does it feel like?"

Nagito broke eye contact with Hinata and looked down at his chest. Hinata was pressing Nagito's only hand onto his own chest, his hand wrapped around Nagito's wrist. Nagito focused on the heat radiating from Hinata, how it warmed his clammy fingers. As he focused in on his hand he began to feel it. The quick beating, the steady thrum. Loud and so very there.

"Fast..." Nagito finally mumbled.

Hinata chuckled. "You gave me quite a scare." He paused, then continued, more sober. "You were screaming." Hinata shook his head, thinking better of that line of questioning. "Keep going."

"Strong."

"Alright, see?" Hinata let go of Nagito's wrist, letting his other hand fall into his lap as well, and reached for his cheek again. He tilted Nagitos head up and wiped tears that Nagito did not know he shed off with his thumb. Hinata was smiling, face illuminated by the desk lamp Nagito had left on. He looked... ethereal. Nagito did not move his hand from Hinata's chest. He needed it there to be sure Hinata was alive. "I am here."

Nagito felt a ball of emotion claw its way up his throat. He swallowed it down and shut his eyes. Hinata was just too bright.

He took a moment and just breathed. Nagito wasn't sure how long he spent breathing, but the entire time, Hinata just waited.

After Nagito felt like he had composed himself enough, he began to apologize for everything. "Its... its not always like this... I am sorry you had to-"

"No." Hinata's voice was soft, but firm. "You will not apologize. I will not accept it. I am here because I want to be, Nagito."

"You are so very generous, as to be exp-"

"Nagito please," Hinata finally begged, leaning in until their foreheads touched. "For once believe me when I tell you you are worth it. That I am here for you and no one else, that I am not doing this just because I am nice or whatever crap you think, that I am doing this for you because it is you, and no one else, and you are worth it."

Nagito felt everything in him crack and splinter. He wanted so bad to do what Hinata asked, anything Hinata asked, but the idea felt so foreign and wrong. Nagito was trash, he was worthless and good for nothing and not even Hinata could change that.

Nagito clenched his hand, balling up Hinata's shirt in his fist. "I can't," he managed to say.

"Hey, hey, its okay. Can you believe that I think it?"

"Yes?" Nagito answered slowly, then added more rapidly. "I mean, its not always this bad, like I was saying, so you wont have to always come here and have to stay here. You won't have to come."

"Okay." Hinata paused, then pulled away a little bit. "Do... do you want me here?"

Nagito opened his eyes, curious as to what prompted the question. Hinata looked nervous or anxious, Nagito couldn't exactly tell.

"If... if I make you uncomfortable... or if you just want someone else..."

Oh god he thought...

"No!" Nagito said quickly. "No, I don't..." He looked down at his hand, balled in Hinata's shirt. "No one else will do."

"So," Hinata cleared his throat, prompting Nagito look up. Hinata was looking off to the side, towards the clock on the wall. Nagito thought he looked red, but couldn't exactly tell. "Can we use your room? Its cleaner than mine."

Nagito realized what he was talking about, and withdrew his hand from Hinata's shirt. Hinata dropped his hand from Nagito's face as well.

"Um, yeah."

"I'll try to get out of my meetings earlier, so I won't be out so late, but I can't get around my morning report to Naegi. I can probably convince him to push it back a bit, but it will still be early. Do you mind?"

"No." Nagito paused. He was asking if Nagito minded waking up early with him. Nagito didn’t want to wake up alone, and Hinata knew that and didn’t make him ask for it. He just... gave it to Nagito. "Thank you."

"Of course. I'm going to get changed, you want to lie down? You don't have to wait for me."

“I’ll wait,” Nagito responded immediately. He didn’t have to think about it, but Nagito did look at Hinata after that. He realized for the first time that he was fully clothed, including shoes. He must have just ran into the room.

Hinata nodded. He got up and walked to the door. Before he opened it, he paused and looked back at Nagito. "I will be right back."

Nagito nodded. He didn't believe in himself for anything, but if anything was for sure, it was Hajime Hinata.

And Hinata did come back. Each and every night.

#fictober19 #komahina #hinakoma #super dangan ronpa 2 #danganronpa #komaeda x hinata #nagito x hajime #fictober day 11 #nagito komaeda #hinata hajime #why did i agree to this #i am so far behind lol #why do i torture hajime so? #hes just #hajimes is just so dumb #hajime more like idjime #idiot man #nagito just wants ur dick man #so i hc hajime as trans but i wrote him neutral since this is like a post a day thing dont have time #but if yall into it i can go into all my hc about him

[shillanseva]

If you are still taking prompts - Beca's family is poor after father left and mama Mitchell stayed with Beca and her siblings, she is going to some fancy school bc of scholarship, she is trying to help her mother out and collect money for some school trip by playing on the guitar in the park aaaand this is where her future lover(s?) from class finds her (you can choose the ship) (sorry this is so long)

This is completely unedited and I decided to make this a multichapter fic. So this is a very introductory chapter and i’ll come back and edit it soon. It might be a tiny bit different than the prompt but I’m hoping to do something along these lines. I haven’t decided between mitchsen or triple treble yet.

Music had an amazing way of fixing everything for Beca Mitchell. Well maybe not everything. She wasn’t naïve. But it at least it helped her pretend.

And she needed that sometimes—a lot of times if the callouses on her fingers were anything to go by. Plucking at the steel strings of her father’s old Stella guitar made all her worries melt away, and she could feel her voice speaking through the gentle thrum of the strings. It wouldn’t make her dad come back. It wouldn’t get her mother a better job or pay for her sister’s medication, but it was her release, and her world didn’t feel quite so dark with the weight of her guitar in her hands.

She never expected her playing to lead to anything else. Sure, she would stop off at Central Park every couple of days and play for whatever coins people would toss her way, but she never expected to be recruited, especially not by the recruiters from Park Edge Preparatory for the Fine Arts.

Park Edge was one of the largest magnet schools in the city. They had thousands of applicants every year and if you weren’t a part of their program by the time you were eleven, there was almost no way to get into the school which meant it mostly accepted of trust fund babies from the Upper East Side—definitely never a poor kid from the Bronx.

She had been playing near the 81st street station next to the Museum of Natural History on a Saturday afternoon in June when she was approached by very stern, blonde woman in a navy-blue pants suit. She was tall. At least a full foot taller than fifteen-year-old Beca who had already reached her peak height of 5’2. Beca had thought she was about to get cursed out by the woman when she first approached. She was all angles—strong, bony nose, a mouth set in a grim line that didn’t look like it even knew how to smile, and cheek bones that would have given Angelina Jolie a run for her money. The woman didn’t say anything at first, just whipped a card out of her jacket and pushed it into Beca’s face. Beca had been forced to take a step back from the proximity, but the woman didn’t back down until Beca’s small hand shakily gripped the card and took it.

It read Angela Parry, Recruitment Office, Park Edge Preparatory for the Fine Arts, and a few phone numbers listed at the bottom. Angela nodded and stretched her hand out which Beca took after a moment.

“Angela Parry,” she said with a strong Brooklyn accent and continued to introduce herself before asking Beca’s name.

“Um, Beca Mitchell,” she replied. Shifting her weight slightly and tugging her guitar strap around to hang the instrument from her back.

“You have a voice, Mitchell,” she said bluntly. Beca furrowed her eyebrows. “And your guitar playing is decent too, do you have any other talents?”

“Well, I play flute, kind of, and piano. And I write?” Beca responded. Angela only nodded. This woman was intense. Her compliments didn’t really sound like compliments. It sounded more like she was giving Beca permission to exist because she didn’t completely suck.

“How are your grades?”

“Mostly B’s, a few A’s,” Beca replied quickly. The woman’s eyes were piercing as she thought for a second.

After a succinct nod, she continued, “Have a parent send me a copy of your transcripts and we’ll discuss setting you up at Park Edge.”

Beca was wide-eyed as Angela shook Beca’s hand once again and walked off, the clack of her heels causing Beca to blink after her. It took a moment to realize what had just happened before she tossed her guitar in its case and sprinted after the woman. She finally caught up to her about half a block later, and grabbed her arm. The daggers she received from the woman were enough to make her drop the Angela’s arm like it had burned her, but then Angela raised an eyebrow at her.

“Wh-what are you talking about?” Beca asked. She didn’t dare to hope that she understood the woman, but she needed to hear it herself.

“I want you at Park Edge,” Angela said as if it explained away every question Beca could have.

“But I can’t afford that school,” Beca responded. “And that’s like an hour on the train.”

“We’ll give you a scholarship,” she said as if it was the most obvious solution in the world.

“You can just do that?” Beca asked.

“Of course not,” Angela said. “You’ll have to audition and prove you can handle the schoolwork, but as long as you can prove not to be a drain on the school, I don’t foresee any problems.”

“That’s it?” Beca asked suddenly feeling dumbfounded. Her arms hung limply at her side, guitar case thumping against her thigh.

“That’s it.” Angela said, then pivoted and walked away. Beca almost chased after her again. No way was it that simple right? Who just recruits random teenagers off the streets, gives them multi-thousand-dollar scholarships, and all they need is a transcript?

Beca was right. It didn’t turn out to actually be that simple. There were a lot of logistics to figure out. Most importantly, school wasn’t in session at the moment meaning there was no administration available to approve a scholarship for Beca, nor was there anyone to witness an audition to make sure she’d be accepted in the first place.

After Beca had told her mother about the strange conversation with Angela Parry, her mother had spent almost three hours on the phone with the woman going over details. It was a private school and had plenty of money so there really wasn’t anything to worry about financially as long as Beca could nail the audition. Her mother spent the entire phone call getting reassurances about money and then figuring out what exactly Beca needed to do for the audition and what was expected of her should she be accepted to the school.

It took three weeks before an audition could even be booked because the principal of the school was required to be present for all upperclassmen auditions. Beca prepared herself the best she could. She wasn’t classically trained as a musician, and all the arts programs at her school had been cut so she didn’t exactly have a teacher, but she did her best to pull together an audition. They were intense. They wanted scales, two contrasting solo pieces no longer than a minute and a half each, sight singing and playing, and specific vocal and instrumental etudes. Apparently, all music majors were required to have vocal and instrumental talent. The vocal aspect was a non-issue, but Beca didn’t feel completely competent on any instrument. She eventually decided on use piano for her audition. It didn’t feel quite so personal, and she wouldn’t be judged on the condition of her guitar.

But despite Beca’s pantsuit angel making her dreams come true, Beca still wasn’t convinced she even wanted to go to this new school. She would be going into her sophomore year of high school without anyone, everyone would have already found their groups, and most of these kids would have known each other since pre-school. Not only that but Beca hated rich kids. They were always spoiled and arrogant like the world owed them for existing. Beca had no time for those kinds of people. All she wanted to do was be at home to take care of her little sister, Triss. She was eleven-years-old. She didn’t exactly need a babysitter anymore, but Beca’s mom worked late so they didn’t see her as often as they’d like.

It took a lot of convincing. Triss called her an idiot no less than fifteen times for not being excited about the audition.

“Why am I the idiot Triss?” Beca asked, looking to her mini doppelganger. Triss was reading on the couch, feet tucked up underneath her, and glasses perched near the end of her nose. Beca smiled a little as she watched Triss’s eyes scan a few lines of her book before she spoke.

“Because.” Triss didn’t even look up.

“That’s not an answer,” Beca chided. She plopped down next to the girl, and pulled the book from her hands despite an indignant “hey!” “Why am I an idiot?”

“You think those scholarships just get handed out?” Triss asked. “You’re going to get to go to one of those cool music schools like you see on tv and you don’t wanna go? Why? Cause I need a baby sitter after school. That’s dumb Beca.”

“Well someone has to keep you out of trouble,” Beca laughed and ruffled Triss’s hair.

“And someone has to keep you from being dumb,” Triss said. She climbed over Beca to grab at her book but Beca held it just inches out of reach. Triss’s light blue eyes narrowed and Beca let out an embarrassing squeak as Triss started to poke at Beca’s side. They wrestled on the couch for several minutes before Beca felt too winded to fight off her sister’s onslaught of tickles and she wheezed a breathy “uncle” before handing the book over to Triss.

“Don’t look too smug,” Beca said, emphasizing her words with a poke to the ribs. “I know where you sleep dweeb.”

“Yeah, six feet away from you. You’d be, like, the first person they arrested if I went missing,” Triss responded flipping her book back open, settling against the arm of the couch and flinging her legs over Beca’s lap.

She still wasn’t convinced, but she went to the audition anyway. She was nervous as hell—never being one for the center of attention, but she nailed the audition and they offered her the spot and scholarship later that night. She took a few days to answer them, but eventually came to realize, she was never going to get an opportunity like this again. She wanted out of the Bronx. She wanted more out of life than a crappy food service job, because there was no way she could afford college.

School at Park Edge was going to be intense. Two days after she accepted the scholarship, a student handbook and a box of uniforms came in the mail. Beca thought the uniform looked ridiculous, but at least it included pants so she wasn’t forced to wear the plaid, pleated skirt.  The handbook was two inches thick though. It included everything from grading to attendance to dress code to extracurriculars. Apparently, on top of a mandatory 3.0 GPA, all students were required to take part in at least one after school activity, of which, they had seventy-six; sports, debate, musical groups, theatre, writing clubs, science clubs, math teams, Beca was a little dizzy from the prospects. They even had a gaming club.

Despite the school having “fine arts” in the title. It turned out to be dedicated to the entire class of subjects. They could declare a major and take specific classes pertaining to that major. Each major fell under one of four broad subjects: math, science, humanities, or fine arts.

For Beca, it was a no brainer that her major would be in fine arts, but she couldn’t decide between performance or, the increasingly intriguing, composition. She had never written her own music before, but she would have been lying if she said it wasn’t something she thought about—a lot.

Both programs were very similar. They would have to take generals in math, science, language, and history, but then they would get to choose electives that pertained more toward their major as well as take lessons from a private instructor in either vocal or instrumental music. The composition majors would get additional lessons in composition.

The longer Beca looked at the classes list, the more overwhelmed she became. She began to wonder how many students actually went to this school if they could offer nearly as many classes as a small college. Then she took a look at the campus map and realize she wasn’t actually that far off. The school was set up exactly like a college.

The closer the first day of school got, the more nervous Beca felt. She really didn’t know what to expect. She was used to a school with cheap linoleum and metal detectors, torn and worn textbooks, and lunches that were barely edible. If the amount of her scholarship was any indication, the lunches at Park Edge were probably five courses, and that was intimidating as hell. Her mom was convinced that a new school meant all new shoes and a new backpack. Things Beca knew they couldn’t actually afford, but her mother couldn’t be convinced otherwise.

A week later as she stood in front of a giant stone, gargoyled building, Beca was thankful her mother had insisted. Students walked around her as she stared up at intimidating figure it posed ahead of her. She felt her heart rate accelerating as she realized what exactly she got herself into. Beca shut her eyes for several moments and took a deep breath before her characteristic, apathetic smirk slid into place, and she walked into the office.

#triple treble #mitchsen #pitch perfect

[antiquecompass]

Untamed Fest Day 2: Dynamic

Summary: Wherein Sizhui has a best friend and a crush and parents who care, perhaps, maybe, just a little too much.

(So, like I said yesterday these fics are going to bounce around the ages of 11-18 for the Juniors. In this one Sizhui is 14. It’s also pre-Sizhui/Jingyi. Don’t worry, nothing will get above Teen in this entire series, and only then bc I, and therefore characters I write, curse like a sailor.)

When it came to personality, at least inside the confines of Lan Academy, Lan Sizhui had taken after his Papa. He projected an aura of quiet leadership and confidence; fair in judgment, but willing to mete out and take punishments. Even at fourteen, he was already one of the leaders on the Student Council; the youngest Vice President in a decade. Sizhui had entered the Academy at the age of eleven, determined to prove any doubters wrong, and had done so quietly and efficiently, just like a Lan should.

Lan Jingyi did not lead quietly, though he was still a leader among their class. Lan Jingyi had the type of dynamic personality that drew others in, fluttering around him like butterflies, but he ignored most of them to keep the company of his two best friends. He was loud, opinionated, and always willing to make his feelings known. He wasn’t the way many thought a Lan should be, but he was very much a Lan, through and through, just willing to openly show the more stubborn parts of their personality that people forgot they had under their veneer of genteel manners.

It was often said that together, Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi truly made the perfect Lan. A balance of the best, and worst, traits. Sizhui was calm and quiet, Jingyi excitable and loud, but where Sizhui often had self-doubts, Jingyi had enough pride and confidence for the both of them. They’d grown up as a pair, rarely apart, settling into their roles and friendship with an enviable and familiar ease. So many years together, being so known to each other, they were a hard pair to defeat in anything--be it something as simple as a classroom debate or something more serious as an actual fight to defend someone’s honor. Since they were always found in each other’s company, they’d become the pride of the family and the Academy. 

Sizhui was proud to be the one-half of such a whole.

Sizhui also had a problem.

He knew he had a crush on Jingyi. It’d been there for years. Apparently he’d told his fathers at the ripe old age of five that he was going to marry Jingyi one day, and while it’d been a story retold often at family gatherings for laughs...well, Sizhui may not have truly meant it at five, but at fourteen, it was definitely a future he wanted.

And somehow he knew that wasn’t normal.

He knew it was normal, for him, to have a crush. His fathers had taken great pains to inform him about different sexual and gender identities and forms of attraction and the like as soon as he showed the first hints of a boyhood crush. So he knew a crush, especially on attractive, kind, funny, caring Jingyi wasn’t unusual. They’d been best friends since they were four. There was no one else his age Sizhui trusted more than Jingyi.

But Sizhui was worried that he’d passed the crush stage long ago and had been firmly planted in something that he was hesitant to call love, because he was only fourteen, but knew that clearly picturing a future with Jingyi that saw them married and raising some kids of their own as the most natural course of their relationship probably meant something significant. 

He knew most Lans fell hard, fell once, and fell in love for life. But Sizhui was a Lan in name only. 

Perhaps Nurture had won this round versus Nature.

He still needed to talk to someone before he embarrassingly blurted out his love for Jingyi straight to his face, probably when the other was devouring a basket of chicken wings. That would be Sizhui’s luck. He’d probably make poor Jingyi choke. And then he’d have to give him the Heimlich or something, and Jingyi would probably spit out his chicken bone right into Great Uncle Lan’s face, and then Sizhui would have to go find a grave plot to bury himself in after he died from the collective embarrrassment. 

So, yeah, he needed to talk to someone.

**********

Dad’s office occupied the single turret tower of their massive house. He jokingly called it his gargoyle hoard, and often sang songs from Disney’s take on The Hunchback of Notre Dame as he climbed the stairs to the tower. Or he called for Papa with, ‘Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, let down your hair’ which never made much sense to Sizhui since Dad was the one in the tower, but they all indulged Dad’s whims and humor.

From the outside the tower looked imposing in its stone and dark shingled roof, but inside it was full of vibrant color. All of his books were here, crammed on an overstuffed bookshelf, containing every edition of every book he’d published in every language available, a handmade wooden sign hung above it declaring, A Leap of Faith. Art of his various characters hung on the wall, some official that he’d commissioned, some of his own making, but most sent by fans from around the world in the barrels of mail that came to the house each week. 

It was a cluttered mess of genius that perfectly encapsulated his dad. 

Today Dad was behind his desk, hair pulled up into a messy bun, with fingers covered in paint as he worked out some new character designs for his latest story. He was slowly moving from elementary reading level books to Young Adult, but his new series would straddle that border of Young Adult and New Adult--that vague spot where the characters weren’t young teens, nor in their mid-20s, but still had their own stories to tell. It was a story he’d been wanting to tell for years, based largely on his own life, but set in a mystical and magical modern world. 

His papa was unceremoniously sprawled out on the battered couch that had followed his fathers from their apartment in Cambridge, to their home in Boston, to this massive estate in the Berkshires. Sizhui smiled to himself as he pictured his classmates faces if they ever saw the great Hanguang-Jun with such imperfect posture, wearing only worn sweatpants and a t-shirt older than Sizhui. His hair was also pulled up into a messy bun, a red pen clutched in his teeth as he read through the most recent edit of Dad’s new book. 

Sizhui smiled as he watched them. His parents had always been so full of warmth and love--for him, for each other, for all their family--that Sizhui knew he’d been spoiled in care and affection. And he wanted that, the connection that they had. He knew it wasn’t effortless, every relationship took work and dedication and effort, but they made it seem so very easy. 

“Sizhui, why do you linger?” Papa asked, eyes barely leaving the bound pages in his hands.

“Because he is a good boy who waits until he’s invited in, even though he knows he never has to,” Dad said, waving him inside. “What can we do for our favorite son?”

“Your only son, since you never did give me that sibling I asked for,” Sizhui teased.

Dad smirked. “Not for lack of trying,” he said.

“Wei Ying,” Papa admonished from the couch.

Dad patted the chair next to his desk. “Come. Sit. Speak. Bond. I feel like we never talk anymore.”

“We had an entire family conference just last night,” Sizhui said as he took his seat.

Dad frowned. “But that was school stuff. I want gossip, Sizhui. I want the deets. I want the 411. Give me the dirt. Spill the tea. Or the beans.” He looked to Papa. “What else do the kids say these days?”

“None of what just passed your lips,” Papa said. 

Dad frowned. “So mean, Lan Zhan.” His pout became more pronounced as he turned to Sizhui. “See how he treats me? Betrayed by my very own heart and soul.”

Sizhui shook his head at them, but grasped on to the opening. “So, about that.”

He didn’t know what he expected to happen but Dad actually gasped and Papa sat up so fast he nearly tumbled off the couch.

“Is it happening?” Dad asked. “Did it happen?” He pulled out his leather planner, full of post-it notes, napkins, and various other bits and bobs. “I had you two down for at least another month from now, but your Papa insisted it would be before Halloween.”

“What?” Sizhui asked as he looked back and forth between his parents.

“Sizhui,” Papa said as he walked over to the desk. “Did Lan Jingyi not ask you out on a date?”

“What?” Sizhui asked. He felt the blood rush to his face, in his ears, blocking out all other sounds. “What?” he repeated.

Dad grimaced. “Whoops. I think we broke him. Bad parenting penalty.”

“No--I---what?” Sizhui asked again. “I just wanted to know how you, like, know if you like someone more than a friend and you’re running a bet on my dating life? With my best friend?”

“To be fair, your Uncle Huaisang runs a bet on everything,” Dad said.

“Wei Ying,” Papa cautioned. 

“Fine,” Dad said, pushing his planner to the side. He sat forward and grasped Sizhui hands. “Sizhui, if you’re asking us this question, do you not already know the answer?”

Sizhui nodded. “But, how can you be sure?”

“In your own heart, what do you feel?” Papa asked. He knelt to meet Sizhui’s downcast gaze. “You don’t have to tell us, or even him, but you’ll feel so much more relief if you acknowledge your own truth.” His smile was small as he patted Sizhui’s knees. “It was the only way I was able to manage all the years when your dad still didn’t know his own feelings.”

“It must’ve been torture,” Sizhui said.

Papa smiled and met Dad’s eyes. “It wasn’t so bad, in the end. But you and Jingyi are different. You don’t have the restrictions on you that Uncle put on me and your Uncle Xichen. You don’t have the physical distance between you. If you want to, you can start dating now. If you feel like you’re ready.”

Sizhui tried not to hunch his shoulders and make himself smaller, but the uncertainty ate at him. “But what if I ruin our friendship? I don’t think--I couldn’t take him hating me.”

“Oh, Sizhui,” Dad said as he clambered over the desk and hugged him. “Jingyi could never hate you. I know you know him better than that, but if you want more, well…”

“Leap of faith?” Sizhui asked.

Both his fathers nodded. 

If the Lan-Wei family had its own motto, Leap of Faith, would be it. If they had their own crest, it would be a rabbit surrounded by the words, Daring, Determination, Devotion, and Honesty. His fathers had raised him with those values, and Sizhui did his best to own them, and now, he knew, he could either rely on them or try to patiently wait until Jingyi came to him. 

If at school the dynamic of Sizhui and Jingyi made the perfect Lan, at home, Sizhui was very much the best, and worst, of both of his fathers. 

“Oh, I know that look,” Dad said as he kissed the top of Sizhui’s head. “Poor Jingyi isn’t going to know what hit him.” Sizhui could feel his wide grin against his hair. “It’s going to be awesome.”

Part 2

#untamedfest #fandom: the untamed #long post #verse: lahl #fic: tales from lan academy #the untamed #my ridic writing #day 2

[gg-astrology]

Update Pt. II: Self-Realization and What I’m Going to do with my Old Posts

i.e. You ever experience having Big Fear of saying something on a subject, but being scared someone/something is going to Crash Down on you with a c/o about how Wrong you are? Here’s how I’m dealing with emotions and expectations and Big Fear of Consequences (incase it helps, but its just my personal experience + thoughts) 💕❤️💗

🚫long post🚫

*this is still just an update on what’s been happening in my life?? So this is literally just what I’ve thought about, processing and dealing with. It’s not really meant to be like - here’s a full-out well-explained educational post with an ending conclusion on the subject. I’m literally just recounting events of what happened and how I feel like I’d do to a friend irl - so I hope you guys can take it as such as well! 

It’s not a big deal but I think it’s good to process, share and talk about overcoming my own personal issues with you guys!! 💕❤️💗

So:

There’s one day where I woke up (when I was still without my laptop) and saw someone comment on my old post. I have tumblr linked to my email for certain notifications - just so I can screen and know what to expect when I come into my inbox/replies.

Basically, it was an old post that I wrote trying to help anon but I was factually incorrect (to the point where I cringed at the first sentence and then shamed myself to bed 5 hours later) This made me realize my Top 10 Nightmare of Tumblr Paranoia had came true (at long last).

It’s probably bad to expect it to happen? But it  happens y know. And I’m actually glad they commented because phew I want to actually make this blog a place where I can actually help people and talk about things more objectively. So heres the thing:

I’m going to go back and clarify parts of it. I’ll mostly keep most of the content intact because I think I had good intentions, I was just Lacking A lot of Fundamental Theory and Boy That’s Not A Good Thing For An Astro Blog NOT To Have.

I want to keep it as a process and archive of how far I’ve come and how much I’ve grown/learnt. I’m? decidedly not that proud of my earlier works - and there’s things I’m still concerned about that I want to go back and address/re-edit so it could be better. But I think it’s low-key kind of fun to see who you are in the past and how present me would view past me now?

It’s like a scrapbook of my astrology journey as well - like yeah I was wrong on things, but seeing me do more research and making actual pieces of work to complement my studies is like a portfolio of what I’ve done, how far I’ve come, how my objectives have changed (if they have/haven’t) what I could stand before but couldn’t stand now, or maybe some inspiration/insights that I lack now that I might’ve had before. Idk? I just think it’s a cool neat thing to not delete or erase, or Big Fear people will come see because it’s. It’s just there and it’s me.

BUT I do think? I should make it Good for everyone who still have access to the past works. It’s basically in my masterlist so it’s available to literally everyone who decides to check. And it’s NOT good if people get the wrong info because I lacked the knowledge and wrote it in a post, and still made the post accessible to everyone. That’s just.. irresponsible? On my part. And how I put everyone else up to it as well bc of my irresponsibility.

That’s Not Good. So I’m gonna do better to scan through past works and hash it out bit by bit, it’ll take some time but I’ll start with the one that was pointed out - and work my way to other ones as well just to check if they’re ok or not ok.

For Those Who Has The Big Fear as well: 

I mentioned at the beginning, this is just me talking about what I want to do about it. I just wanted to share that experience, how I feel (Complete and Utter Shame, that was mixed with Embarrassment and Horror at myself - took me a good 3 days to Process my Feelings and came to that conclusion) -- and just y know --  I’m sure this is not just a Me Thing where you see your past stuff and you Know you’re embarrassed to talk about it. But. It’s not a bad thing. And here’s me living through it.

I think in the future - I’ll continue to be embarrassed by my lack of knowledge because I have a lot to learn. There’s plenty of people - you, me, this new person who seems to know terms you haven’t heard of before, this other person who has very formed opinions on things based on their own knowledge - who learnt things and know things.

It’s? difficult to be on top of it all the time, or know everything if you haven’t learnt about it before. So don’t be ashamed or scared that you don’t? Know everything?

When you’re beginning to learn a subject, I don’t know about others, but me and my friend have this Big Fear of saying the wrong thing or coming off too confident in something that’s Wrong and then someone coming after you/calling you out for it  -- it was a mistake, or a lack of knowledge but you can’t be faulted for that. 

How are you supposed to know something if you didn’t know? That also can’t be shamed. Maybe because we think we have to be accountable for ourselves and our lack of knowledge-- so we don’t offend someone Big who may be more knowledgeable and personally offended by just-- a person not knowing something.

I think we fear the consequences, sometimes more so than talking about it or enjoying the subject in open-ness to each others who have similar interests (there’s also an issue with inadequacy and comparison, but we’ll talk about that later see topic headers below). 

I think the idea that we could get Wrecked and Hurt, Completely Mauled Over by something or someone’s influence/ideas that is Larger than us - intimidates us at a moderately core-level into Not Addressing It (i.e. Not Taking Action/Talking). Because the repercussion seems to be... wild, and Maybe We’ll be a ScrapeGoat of an Unfortunate Event and Thats Not Cool At All Yikes. 

Addressing All The Fears (a Bundle Around This Big Fear Context) 

I’ve talked about it before, like way back earlier in the days. But I’ve always had a Big Fear of this. That’s part of why I get so intimidated when someone I like/look up to follow me?

There’s always the tiny nagging suspicion and doubt underneath my anxiety regarding this topic - like I’m unsure whether they’re going to see how I talk, what I say, what I’m providing for others and cast judgement that it isn’t good enough - like maybe I’m wrong about something and I’ll have to live with it (unreasonable but still, a Fear) and they can See that and Know i’m wrong. That’s a big Shame and Embarrassed feeling for me (i.e. making a fool of myself, which is?? essentially what this is on)

I think throughout my time here... I’ve begun to slowly mend my ideas about that fear. Part of it is because I’ve learnt more, I’m more active in using my skill-sets.

It’s because I have this blog - that I decided I’m going to start it, and it’ll keep me active in learning that I got to build up my skill-set and kept myself in-check from there. I got to interact with different topics and themes, double-check my own understanding of topics/subjects, sure I don’t know anything and everything. All of this is just what I’ve learnt, and me actively learning as I go - and while it was -- Big Fear and Unstable Ground for a while, eventually I learnt to rely more on -- the support system and people who do appreciate you, like you, what they talk about with you. 

You learn to appreciate the systems around you - the ones who interact and likes or ask and talk about stuff. The Fear and Responsibilities gets less and less fearful, because I’ve built trust in others - and it’s a reality check: that not all that’s in my head is good for me. Not even myself and my own thought is as good to me as the reality you live/have around you sometimes. And thats -- a fortunate thing, that’s something to not be taken for granted, and something I have to be thankful for. It directly addresses possible issues I didn’t know I had -- about how much this was weighing on me, by relieving me from it bit by bit as well. 

And that’s what I should note on, because even just a solitary ‘like’ on a social media site-- when you’re scared or unsure of whether you’ve made a right call -- is enough of a support for you to rest a little easier, knowing someone else got what you intended and support you morally as well. 

Standards and Logic: Ideals

I still get Big Fear because of my own ideals - like sometimes I have a mean voice? That just goes ‘you’re an astrology blog - your core/most basic requirement is to KNOW basic facts about astrology’ and then it goes ‘you NOT knowing something about the subject -- something basic, and STILL getting it wrong is absolutely irredeemable’ 

You know what’s the worst part about the mean voice? It’s because it’s my brain, it’s how I reason and logic. This is how I hold my own standards and ideals, and no matter how kind I am to others, my own core self isn’t kind to myself. Fundamentally --- since I couldn’t resolve it, I believe it’s my standard and is underlying in how I treat others too (even if I actively work to Not Let That Happen or Be True, it’s still a part of me).

I don’t want to treat others like that. That’s the scariest part. Part of the reason why it’s so hard - is because we see reason why our mean voice makes sense. To me, that’s objectively the ideal and standard. I already gave it my consent and agreement by understanding it’s logic - and now I fear it.

A part of me just going through this - is confronting this standard issue and my ideals. I think -- all of us who have Big Fear in some ways, understands the logic in just being Good at what you start out to do. Fundamentally, objectively. It kinda makes sense that if you’re going to write about biochem - you should get it right so you don’t fuck up about it. 

But I think you all can tell now - reading it in third person - how you’re allowed to make mistakes? If you’re willing to say that to someone else and understand that-- even if you write about biochem, but you might’ve missed a few marks because you got the answer wrong--- it doesn’t mean you’ve completely jeopardize the subject itself and everyone who’s a master at it. You’ve just made a mistake. And everyone - realistically - realizes how little it matters when you admit or realize you’ve made a whoopsie.

Making Mistakes - Accepting Being Wrong To Not Become an Asshole

A mistake is a mistake, it’s a human error. People fuck up sometimes, but -- we learn from our mistakes. 

It’s just a matter of accepting it in the first place? Being able to accept the mistake is what differentiate being an asshole to actually not letting it hinder you and moving on. 

I think -- just in my case -- I can see why it’s easy to cling on. If you only have your skill-sets to hold onto to, it’s hard to accept any other form of opinions or ideas that challenges it. I think that’s -- ego -- but also defense/offensive action. 

Not -- ‘im offended’ but more like, a tactical offense. I’ve seen people who manipulate others because they only have their skill-sets. Making the audience sway in their narrative and perspectives because they say it’s the ‘truth’ and that they’re knowledgeable or have experiences. I don’t necessarily agree with what they do, but that’s -- not on me, and I don’t care because that’s not something I?? feel comfortable addressing. 

I offered this brief example - because it’s the opposite of ‘well I don’t feel adequate about my knowledge, maybe I shouldn’t say something because I don’t have anything to offer?’ - here’s an example of someone who has knowledge, and is saying something. But is perhaps doing it in a way that isn’t... ideal as well. 

So if you think about the alternative: Which would you rather be? 

We just gotta know how to deal with it and address all the different elements to it as we can (what we’ve touched on earlier: own voice, judgement from others, concrete-starting something and self-expectations, fearful of expectations, not accepting being wrong or making mistakes as an OK thing to do, and how to deal with it kinda)

  Future Embarrassment (Continuous habit of being Embarrassed and Feeling Inadequate About your Skill-sets/Knowledge)

I’ve always thought about this - like how do I stop myself from being embarrassed and ashamed when I can’t fault myself for not knowing before - the only solution I can find for myself is just to do good.

Not suddenly go research and be on top of it with information + overloading myself like That kind of Good-good (‘im good at what I do’ -- not that type of good, confidence in skills doesn’t cover up insecurities and fear, but you can be confident in other areas you can shine light on better about yourself!) 

Do good to me is to chew what I can, say when I can’t, have good intentions and offer the things you CAN give. If it’s insight, clarifications, open-opinions - most people who are coming to you and asking for you are people who appreciates intentions. Just as you expect the same back.

The most consistent thing I’ve ever done is to just be in the mindset of wanting to be good and pushing myself to be good. I’m not saying I’m like -- 100% whole-heartedly a Good Person. But if I just focus on my intent, how it underlines everything, keeping things clear with that intention in mind. As long as I aspire to be good to others, there’s not much else anyone can say to harm me or my motives I think.

Maybe I’m not that good in terms of skill-sets, but more in terms of wanting to do objectively the best that I can, and wanting the best for others. That’s the two things I keep in my mind and goals; in your own heart. Regardless of everything - these two things will keep you going if you truly want and work towards it.

Comparison to others/Inadequacy 

I think that to others - maybe other people who have the same goal in mind; maybe same heart, maybe this would mean to do what they can and perhaps they are capable of achieving skill-sets, overcoming insecurities with knowledge and Not Feel Overwhelmed. 

But I know that’s not for me? Not how I work or the best I can offer - of course I attempt it too and yeah it works sometimes, but my constant and my ideas haven’t been about being right or correct whenever I post or say something (although I strive to try and do it right, as much as I can) -- it’s always been about realistically - what can I do, what can I give that’s 100% me and what’s needed/capable of doing?  

It’s hard because there’s also -- ideals about what IS the best solution. Like when presented with the same problems, same ask. You have two different people who share the same ideals and thoughts - both agreeing that the best way is to do it ‘like this’ - but one does it better and the other watches it knowing they couldn’t have executed it as flawlessly. 

And maybe you’re the other - but that, doesn’t make it any less obvious when you see it in third-person that the other person has their own gift and methods that is just as valuable as the one who did the good execution. They provide and support one another, just have to find their wings and respect, appreciate and cherish (lift up) one another’s skill-sets and capabilities as well.

It’s hard to apply it back to yourself -- that your thoughts, words and knowledge is valuable to anyone or that it’s Not lacking in some ways. What you see of yourself - there’s others who sees it in a more tender way than you do. What you can control, and what you can do best, is to not expect yourself to be unrealistic - but expect to be realistic about what you can provide, if all else fails, anyways. 

Stick to your guns - I’m basically just trying to say that. The feeling of inadequacy (that’s literally the core of it, underneath the shame) is fine -- and yeah. I don’t have? I’ve written alot but I hope this comes through well. 

I’m working through it but I hope, this helps a little. If you’ve read it at all. It’s long and rambly, but I hope this -- helps? Anyone else? Or just myself who’s working through it. But -- I hope this gives strength or support to anyone who needs it. Thanks for reading if you’ve read!!!

#personal #psa #update #pt.2 #oooof long #queue-t

[elijahfitz]

and introduction.

meet elijah.

hey guys! im lina! im 18 and im in the cst timezone. im currently a freshman in college and ive also been rping for like 6 years now ( i started on the neopets chat boards. if thats not an embarrassing fun fact idk what is ) but i havent rped since this summer since school was and still is kicking my ass. im really into musical theater, marvel & dc, and disney! i also used to be a lifeguard at a great wolf lodge for 2 years so if u want any funny stories about stupid children, or even just wanna be friends, lmk! im also SUPER sorry this intro is so late. i was gonna do it yesterday but then my friends wanted to hang and it kinda went downhill from there. im actually posting this like 20 min before i have a lab practical so i wont be able to reply until late tonight, but like this post to plot or anything!

some fun facts abt elijah:

he was adopted when he was around 3-4? he was abandoned and left on the back of a merchant cart headed to corona, where he was then discovered and then put into the local orphanage since no one was sure where he came from or who left him. all he had was a stuffed bear (named wooly), a basket of water and fruits to eat, and a letter that explained that:

his name was elijah

he was 2 (born on february 28th)

his parents couldnt care for him, so they hoped he would be found by a kind soul who could either take care of and love him, or else get him to someone who could

they loved him and only left him in the hopes that he would have a better life

he lived in the orphanage for almost 2 years and the few months before the 2nd anniversary of his arrival, rapunzel & eugene visited the orphanage that eugene grew up in and fell in love w/ eli, promptly adopting him soon after. he barely remembers anything about his abandonment and time in the orphanage, but always wanted to find his birth parents and let them know how he turned out. he kept the bear and basket in his room but carries the letter around with him in his wallet wherever he goes.

his full name is elijah frederic fitzherbert. he was given the middle name frederic in honor of his grandfather.

but, he much rather prefers eli. doesnt mind formalities but insists on people who know him to call him by his nickname. except he HATES being called “highness” bc he thinks it sounds stupid. he wont get upset per se if u keep referring to him as “your highness” but he will get annoyed

he very much wants to fulfill his role as “corona’s golden boy” by contributing back to his people. he worries for the kingdom more than he worries for himself and is always trying to prove that he is worthy of being a prince rather than just some random kid who got lucky enough to get adopted. most of his days are spent doing modest favors and helping out the townspeople or visiting the villages surrounding the kingdom.

when he’s in the castle you can almost always find him in the kitchen! boi loves to bake and cook. he loves the way food can bring joy to everyone. he often makes goods to give to the townspeople or the kids at the orphanage, where he volunteers at least every 2 weeks when hes not busy w prince stuff.

has an acute fear of disappointment. he feels so much pressure to prove his worth that came from growing up thinking if he did anything wrong he’d be sent back to orphanage, esp since his parents had another child. they wouldn’t want or need him anymore. he mostly got over this when he broke a vase when he was 12 and tried to run away from home, except he fell out the tree that he used to climb out his window and broke his leg lmao. his parents assured him that no matter what he did they would still love him and never abandon him, and his dad also taught him how to climb trees and roofs without dying (much to his mom’s chagrin). even tho hes pretty much over it, it kinda lingers subconsciously. thus, he overcompensates in everything he does and gets overly anxious about small problems

growing up he thought the stories that his dad told him about his past were so cool, despite the fact that he would almost always only hear those stories when he was being taught lessons of what he shouldnt do. he used to run around pretending to be flynn rider and his dad played along, planning play heists for them to do together (think scott & cassie in that one scene from ant man and the wasp) but they stopped when eli hit that age where he thought it was embarrassing to play w his dad. but, it really helped him bond w eugene and help him work on his coordination bc eli is CLUMSY AF

eli legit trips over nothing at least twice a day.

he bonded w his mom through art tho, which eventually turned into aesthetic desserts and meals! thats another reason why he loves baking and cooking so much.

when his 1st sibling was born when he was 5 at first he was jealous. he didnt get much attention at the orphanage due to the fact that there were so many kids and he was just starting to get used to the idea of having parents didnt have tons of kids always trying to win their affection and attention. he thought having a little sibling was the worst thing in the world and would hide from his parents bc if they couldnt find him they couldnt send him away. he hated his sibling.

until he met them. the second he saw their chubby face he was hooked. he swore that he would do anything and everything for them. and that continued when his parents adopted his other siblings as well. he absolutely adores them and acts like the protective older bro role

thankfully, with such a large age gap eli never rlly had to go through any of those petty squabbles that siblings usually have. he was always pretty protective of them tho and would fight when he thought they were being reckless and dumb out of his own fear that if they got hurt he would be an awful big brother (again, fear of disappointment)

he loves to travel bc his mom would always take him to these extravagant kingdoms and on these amazing sightseeing trips

this boy is hopeless when it comes to love. i can imagine lots of ppl liking him on top of all the ppl throwing themselves at him bc royal, but him being completely oblivious and thinking that no one likes him.

he had rlly bad ADD as a kid but its gotten better as hes grown. he still occasionally struggles w executive functioning tho and always gets rlly frustrated when he cant focus or remember

like i said earlier, clumsy af. no coordination. the only athletic ability he ever had was horse riding and running

that said he has a horse named may (short for mayonnaise. dont ask

he likes music a lot. prob learned piano at a young age

he probably is at the party bc royals? idk

EDIT: although (currently) unknown to eli, his true birth mother is maleficent. when eli was 2, his birth father took him away from her and had her suppress eli’s natural born powers. his father realized he was unfit to care for him, so he was the one who abandoned eli.

wanted connections!!

obv his parents and siblings? i mean cmon

one ( or both???? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) of his birth parents!!!!! they dont have to know that eli is their son or mayb they do and are too scared to tell him, but being trapped together will eventually make it revealed

childhood friends! people he met when he traveled w his mom or met at royal social functions? i rlly also want friends that he would hang w at all the royal galas and stuff and they would go do dumb stuff like look sneak out and look for secret passages of make bets of who could dump more crab cakes into the stuffy duchess’ purse when she wasnt looking

people who know him solely through his family

someone who likes eli and eli legit has no clue, no matter how much they flirt and drop hints

people who hate eli! or even just dislike him, which makes him upset bc he doesnt like the idea that there are ppl who dont like him in the world. mayb bc sometimes he gets super highstrung when things arent going how they should b and he like lashed out at them once or something. maybe they hate his parents and on principle hate him. idk

someone who was w eli in the orphanage

past relationships? i feel like hes never rlly had a bad breakup tho, its just that they prob just didnt work out. hes also bi so they can b any gender. hes still looking for his otp

idk, legit anything. send me those plots man

#spelled.intro #this got LONG #i am so sorry #but hello i am lina #like to plot !!!! pls. im desperate

[isakeijser]

what are your 5 favourite things about skamesp :)

this was really tough because theres so much i do love about skamesp, and i got really sappy in parts and its just Long so if you do read all of it well done but here's why i love skamesp sooo much:

one) probably the fact that they’re willing to make changes. like ofc we have remakes such as druck which change and mess around with s2 and s3 in some small and big ways but the storylines in those seasons mostly stay the same whereas in skamesp a lot of what they write is original. like ofc i’m not saying its totally new, s1 and s2 are still very similar to the og season 1 and 3 but they’re a lot more different then the other remakes and acc keep me guessing at to what is to come, esp in s2

two) the focus on the girl squad/women. the girl squad is soooo good in skamesp you can tell they all love each other and theres acc a basis for why they’re friends. ofc viri says things they don’t agree with sometimes but overall shes a good person who they enjoy spending time with. they make like 5 million group chats (realistic) for each little thing and have all these inside jokes with each other and generally are such a cohesive group of friends i really love it. that as well as skamesp commitment for making sure that each girl gets a plot or some sort of story going on in each season really means we get to know these characters and love them even if they’re not the main. also this is going to be another bullet point but the fact they give cris the isak plot line also helps w the cohesiveness of the girl squad and truly making this remake For Girls

3) the social media. literally god tier... i don’t really think any other remake can compare to the social media of skamesp. they literally edited cris’s icon so that it looked like we were all on cris’s best friend list.... the galaxy brain.... that as well as them using different phones for different characters to reflect their social class? the locked emoji on joanas insta showing that its private but bc we’re in cris’s pov we can see it? the constant insta stories and pictures which keep us updated on the other characters even if we’re not with them. the entire ines and alejandro relationship playing out on social media? literally all of it is so good and i love it.... (also shoutout to the meme video... literally the best thing skamesp has ever done)

4) the isak season going to a girl/wlw/cris/joana. i’ve been meaning to make an independent post about this because i think theres a lot to address but i might as well talk about it a bit here. obviously the original season was very important for a lot of people and gave so many people representation (both for those who are mentally ill/lgbt people) but as we know the show was originally intended for teenage girls, and having isak as the main sort of goes against this idea, and sort of interrupts the flow of the show. we have three seasons about this main core group of five girls, and then one season which can functionally stand independent of the others: it has an entirely different cast, different themes and barely includes the characters we follow for the other seasons. therefore the decision to have cris - one of the girl squad - means the show ends up being more cohesive and truly gives teen girls the representation they deserve. on one level watching isak’s story can be so helpful for those questioning and accepting their sexuality, but if your audience is teen girls, that season should go to someone like themselves and for that i’m very glad skamesp decided to change it. and the acc relationship i adore... the contrasts and similarities between the characters, the growth of cris and joana, the cuddle clip, the reunion clip, 21:21, minute by minute. obviously it took a lot of cues from the og but it has so much original stuff as well and i just love them a lot.... disaster spanish bisexuals gave me rights

5) finally, and a thing i’ve talked about a lot, is the sheer love skamesp has for all the characters and story. ofc skamesp can get really angsty at times (just look at the whole eva situation and cris’s being depressed for like 3 weeks) but fundamentally skamesp loves all its characters and doesn’t like to wallow in the pain. it likes being cheerful and full of love! the forgive me clip is one of my favourites because i was so ready for another week of being sad (if they had followed the og) but instead we get this release of tension and unexpectedly a happy clip!!! it was honestly such a freeing moment, esp because i think around that time druck was also depressing. the fact that skamesp says ‘fuck it’ and lets their characters be happy when other remakes wallow in it.... i just love that for them and it really makes for a more enjoyable experience because i know its going to be okay in the end and the characters will be happy... its truly really healing and warm compared to other remakes i watch

also i would like to give shoutouts to less serious stuff: the ZOOMS in s1 are literally the funniest thing in the world, the fact that they don’t take themselves too seriously, introducing alejandro to ‘alejandro’ by lady gaga, having eva and ines be friends after s1, the sheer comedy of giving joana one outfit and never changing it, developing the viri plotline so much more, actually giving their ‘chris b’ a character rather than purely using her for comic effect, the boy and girl squad being one huge squad since day one, lucas’s youtube channel, the eva/lucas friendship, theres probably more but i think this has got too long 

#obviously this is so fucking long but i love it a lot #and like obviously i have things i don't like i could write a huge list but !!!!! yeh #anon #answered #*analysis