#And I like reading other peoples work anyways

[ao3commentoftheday]

Hi! I have a writing related question. I have a major problem finishing things, specifically the second half or last third. I'm a pantser, and have tried planning to help fix the issue, but it's just...not my style. I plan and it all changes anyway. This problem has been going on for a long time and by now I'm fairly sure the culprit is psychological/lack of confidence. I know logically this is a common occurrence and I likely just need to push through, but I simply can't do it, most of the time even with shorter works (I then feel worse about myself as a writer, which makes the problem worse, etc). I guess what I'm asking is, if you or anyone has been in this situation, and some general tips or words of wisdom lol. I know the issues, but still can't seem to fix it. It's affecting my ability to write and now I can't even start stories like I used to either. It's making me miserable. I love writing and want to have it "click" again; right now I just feel sort of broken, creatively speaking.

I'm not very fandom social but I do read this blog all the time, it's a gift. So helpful on so many different topics, and I felt comfortable finally reaching out here ♥️ Thank you for everything you do here

I think you know part of the issue. You know that you can't finish works and you know that planning doesn't help you. You think there might be a lack of confidence, but you don't seem all that certain about it.

I think you should dig in a bit more and see what the actual culprit is.

Are you worried that your writing is bad and will be poorly received?

Are you worried your story is too niche and no one will read it?

Are you worried that the things you write might lead to harassment or bullying of some kind?

What you'll notice about all of those things is that the worry is about how other people will react to what you've written. That's something that's completely out of your control.

To get back to the joy of writing, try writing something just for yourself, with no intention of posting it. See if that helps you get to the end. Often people who have issues with perfectionism or shame or anxiety will put off finishing projects because they want to avoid the judgement that comes after something is finished. If it's never done, no one will tell you that you did a bad job.

If you're like me, then planning is the opposite of helpful because as soon as the plan is in place, it feels like the story is already written. Instead, try working with a plotline that has lots of different ways that it can go. Make it into a kind of "choose your own adventure" but for you, the writer. As you get to each stage in the story, leave choices open so that you can go left or go right - but you can also go up or down or swing in a circle.

Refocus on the parts of writing that feel more like play than like work and do more of that. Reconnect with the joy of it. Then, when you actually like it again, you can figure out whether you actually still want to post your works and how you can deal with your worries then.

*hugs* it's a rough spot right now, anon, but I think you'll get through it. Let's see what advice the rest of the blog has to give.

#asks and answers

[faerytreealtars]

How To Reach Your Destined Role? ~ Advice & Guidance on your journey through life.

Hi everyone, I'm finally back with another Pick a card! This time I am doing the PAC that the majority voted for and it is all about who are you destined to be? How can you get to that level? Or perhaps you already are there? Pick an image which draws you in and that shall be your pile!

This PAC took a lot longer to get around to than I would have hoped, but I had to put myself first as I'm sure you will understand between battling mental health struggles and then physical ailments, which have still not cleared up but hopefully I will get there soon! Still, I feel brighter and more energized mentally so I thought it was about time to get back on the horse, so to speak anyway without further rambling shall we get into the piles...

[ Image credit goes to ilikefairies ]

Pile One ~

[ Cards drawn: The Magician, The lovers, three of swords & the sun.]

[ Top Of Deck - Nine of cups. ]

Who are you meant to be: You are meant to be a free-spirited soul so do not worry about rushing into choices of who or what you are meant to be. Before I had even pulled any cards I heard the message in my head that you have lots of opportunities in this life and you can choose to be many different versions of yourself, many people get stuck into the mindset that there is only one version of themselves that can exist in this world but that is untrue, it is up to you who you want to be, exist in a way that brings you happiness. Now based on the image you chose and the messages the cards are sharing with me, I feel you are someone who is meant to bring more love, light and hope into this world by merely existing you do this but if you wish to be more proactive then read the next part and hopefully the messages will resonate for you.

How to get there: You need to become more aware of your power in this world, and how your actions and emotions can influence your days. How your thought patterns can affect your choices and beliefs. They either will push you onwards towards happiness and success or hold you back in stagnation and fear but when you work on finding your footing, grounding more in the present moment and working on having more confidence in yourself. seeing yourself as worthy and lovable on the bad days as well as the good then you come closer to the higher power that connects you with your soul. With the three of swords present you have gone through much despair and heartbreak, it has toughened you to this world which can indeed be cruel and though those experiences however sorrowful they were gave you much more perspective and wisdom on human nature and your own inner world they were not meant as punishment or as a way to put out your light. With the sun following this card I can tell that it is your loving energy and the fact you feel so deeply that can power you on to create brighter days not just for yourself but for others too, do not fear sharing your experiences or using them in your creations or hobbies to add inspiration to others life. All in all, I can see you living a good life, not without its challenges but a life like that is unlikely and perhaps boring! The final advice I hear is to keep working on yourself, masterpieces cannot be rushed and you should focus on what intrigues and brings you happiness in the moment, don't worry about having it all figured out too soon. Best of luck, my dear pile one!

Pile Two ~

[Cards drawn: Page of cups, Knight of cups, the Star & eight of swords]

[Top of the Deck: Ten of Cups]

Who are you meant to be: Okay, woah Pile two your energy is so happy and bright I love it thank you for letting me bask in it for a while!! If no one ever tells you that you are wonderful and lovable then let me please be the one to tell you now: You are wonderful and lovable in so many ways, thank you for existing!! Anyway on with your reading. So we have a lot of water energy going on here so right off the bat I can tell you are meant to be someone who values and uplifts your own as well as others' emotions. I keep hearing therapist in my mind and though I never intended this reading to be about careers perhaps that is a job you feel drawn to or perhaps you already seem to act like everyone's personal therapist in your day-to-day life. (I know that can get tiring so do put your own wants, needs and boundaries first if you feel that others are putting too much upon you.) I am now also hearing teacher and parent so yeah it may be in your destiny to help shape and mould the next generation into as bright and uplifting a soul as you are yourself. Now in a more general sense, I can see you are meant to be someone who always strives first to open others' eyes to truths in the world that others may want to turn a blind eye to, sometimes this may make you feel alienated and insecure of yourself but keep striving on and never back down for those who wish to put your down like to see you trapped in your insecurity and doubt it allows them to get away with all the malice they put into the world but you are far bolder and brighter than them and your presence, voice and actions help to bring forward a more hopeful future.

How to get there: Honestly Pile two I feel you are already on your way to getting there without much guidance from anyone else but I will say keep listening and feeling your emotions, honouring them as truth for it is how your intuition seems to let itself be heard. Keep working on your communication skills for I feel they are a skill you will be using quite a lot in the future or perhaps you already do. Finally don't be afraid of having a bad day, you are allowed to feel negative about things and it's totally okay to lean on others as much as they lean on you. Don't get so caught up in overthinking and doubts, or even worries about how to help others sometimes we have to let others make it through their own lessons in life, it is like the baby turtles who hatch on the beach and must make it to the sea on their own power and will, not all of them will make it but we can't intervene less we can cause more harm than good. That's all I'm getting for you pile two. I wish you the best and again I just love your energy so keep being you because it brings so much happiness to the world.

Pile Three ~

[ Cards drawn: The magician, The high priestess, seven of pentacles, four of cups ]

[ Top of the deck: The Tower ]

Who are you meant to be: You are meant to be someone who changes, themselves and the world. You are like a phoenix who rises from the ashes and is rebirthed as a newer, better you after every fall. I am also getting the visual of a chameleon who changes to fit their environment. This at times may have left to feeling confused or a sense of imposter syndrome but do not fear it is a skill and talent all in itself and it is not a wrong thing to be doing. It allows others to feel more comfortable around you so then in turn you can aid them in bettering themselves. Now to focus more on you, who this reading is meant to be helping I can see you are meant to a more spiritually in tune individual who listens and honours their mystical power, of which you have a lot. I feel many of you have been shamed or forced into behaving "sensibly" when you try to show this part of yourself as many cannot understand it and feel it doesn't help with the real world. Please stop listening to them, you would not have this connection to your higher self and the divine if it was not meant to benefit you and the world in some way. So feel free to behave as "woo-hoo" as you wish, the ones who value and respect you will stick around and those who behave in ways that try to condition and control you will eventually leave and you will be all the better for it!

How to get there: Work on listening to your intuition more, remember that intuition is a message that carries calm energy while anxiety will make you feel frantic and in the need to rush. You do not need to rush. As the seven pentacles show you need to cultivate patience and wait for the seed to grow. Trust that all that you are doing, even if at times it is having to sit and do nothing is helping to nurture and give your dreams and goals the best chance of success. I also feel you need to take more time to give yourself mental rest, let your mind grow still and quiet, focus on one thing at a time and seek more time for meditation. This in turn may help you feel more grounded and grateful for all you already have and all you have already achieved. Finally do not fear the tower falling, in the midst of the chaos it may feel like the end but you will begin to see it is simply the clearing of the unneeded and stagnated to allow for the creation of the brighter and better. From it you will always become wiser, stronger and yes even kinder.

I wish the best to all of you in pile three, I know the days may seem long and hard but try to focus on the simple gratitudes and you will begin to see the sun beam from behind the clouds. Until next time, Love Fae.

#divination #cartomancy #tarot #tarotblr #channeling #♡ messages channelled from the divine ♡ #pick a card #pac #free tarot reading #tarot readers #tarot cards #tarotcommunity #tarot witch #pick a reading #pick a card reading #pick a card tarot #how to reach your destined role pac #destiny tarot

[mochinomnoms]

Reading that of adopted children, yeah, I agree with Kalim and Malleus. I REALLY doubt they could have adopted children. Specially Malleus, like, you are telling me the next heir is not blood-related to Malleus, I think Briar Valley views Draconians as gods I swear hqbahw-- anyway, having adopted children means they won't get Malleus magic capabilities, so that's a no-no. Besides, Malleus is an only child, who the heck can they turn to IF is not Malleus' heir?

BTW, if you are using a magicless Yuu/Mc... good luck with Malleus Xd I wouldn't dare put adopted children in that position, still. Especially adopted children. What a combination, tbh! 😂

With Kalim AT LEAST, they can say, "Oh, well, let's get one of his siblings' children as the heir."But even then, that's asking for even more problems @×@ because... who would be?! He has a LOT, and I would feel bad for his adopted children being looked down just for not being blood-related.

Anyway, Mc/Yuu has to either suck it up and look for another partner, one that isn't from high class or at least first in line of some high ranking position (I don't think would be that much of a problem with Leona, but then again, I still wouldn't do it, just in case). That or simply have their children, lmao.

I think that with Malleus, they are able to have the kid via magic. Mild Chapter 7 spoilers but I believe that the egg and it's growth are attributed to magic and love. I think that potentially Malleus could create the egg and pour magic into it while Yuu could pour love into it (I'm sure it senses like the vibes or something).

The last ask was specific to adoption so I didn't mention it, but the thing is that surrogates and IVF are options for same-sex couples or infertile couples, or couples who don't want to be pregnant themselves for any reason. It wouldn't be that complicated to just do that for either of them, and the issue of bloodlines wouldn't be a concern.

The main issue I think would come up is that people sometimes don't consider adopted or stepkids as "true" members of a family because they're not blood related. But that's not the case at all, they're still family no matter what they say and with Kalim and Malleus, it would really come down to them setting their foots down to protect their families.

I also think that they wouldn't let something like other people's issues with adoption get in the way of their relationship. Both of these characters strike me as extremely devoted lovers, they'd put their spouse and their needs above everyone else. If their spouse doesn't wish to carry a child for whatever reason, then they will make it work.

The only issue would come if the spouse doesn't want kids, as both Kalim and Malleus also strike me as people who really want kids. If you don't want kids, and that's a hard ass line, then there might be a dilemma. Even in Kalim's case, where I strongly believe polygamy is accepted in his home (his father must have multiple wives for him to have over 30+ children...I refuse to believe that a single birth giver did that) if you don't want kids at all would still cause some strife, because you can't just ignore his kids from your other spouses. Otherwise, I don't think there would be any issue.

#mochi asks #twst #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #malleus draconia #kalim al asim #malleus draconia x reader #kalim al asim x reader #i think we might be making it more complicated than it actually needs to be #if bloodlines are a big enough issue for them to not want to adopt then surrogates are available and tube babies #for lack of a better word anyway but i have a friend who was conceived via ivf and it's very expensive but thats not an issue with these tw

[too-much-tma-stuff]

I Never Blamed You (Part 6)

So, where has Dick been?

Previous | Masterpost

Dick was not going to reach out to Bruce first, he absolutely was not. He wasn’t wrong, and Bruce was never going to change anyway! Their fighting was the reason he had gone to Bludhaven in the first place, and their relationship had only gotten worse when Bruce had taken in Jason, and worse again when he died. Dick had blamed Bruce, but he had blamed himself more, for not being a better brother to the kid. Ya sure he hadn’t wanted a brother, but that was how siblings usually worked! He should have been there! And now here he was, not being here for Tim either, and feeling like complete shit about it.

He apartment was a fucking pigsty and he didn’t clean it. He hadn’t been taking care of himself, he’d been eating junk, he was barely sleeping. He was not doing well and he didn’t care. He didn’t care about much other than his patrols and being Nightwing, he didn’t care about much besides saving people. Like maybe if he saved enough strangers he could make up for not saving his brother.

He couldn't. 

He still checked in on the rest of the family sometimes, and he never blocked Batman on official channels so if they really needed help they could call him. Bruce had never blocked Dick either, or locked him out of their servers, if he did Dick would probably cry.

It had been a few months so it was time to check in again. He still wasn’t locked out thankfully, so he had a look around at the most recently updated files. What were Bruce and Tim having issues with in Gotham?

The most accessed file in the last few weeks was the one on Red Hood and his partner Hyena. Dick really didn’t know that much about them besides they were Gotham’s new crime lords, and he had heard on the news Hyena had killed the Joker. Dick felt like he owed Hyena for that. He had succeeded where Dick had failed after all. He still held a small grudge against the people who had resuscitated the bastard, Nightwing had killed him on purpose after all.

Dick opened the file on Hood, propped his chin on one fist and leaning against the desk, bored and tired, ready to skim the file before moving on. He froze, his body going completely rigid as any trace of his previous fatigue fled his body.

Alias: Red Hood

Civilian name: Jason Todd

It couldn’t be the same Jason Todd, he was dead, it had to be an awful coincidence surely! But he read on with rebid hope anyway. It wasn’t a coincidence. It was Jason, the Baby bird. He’d grown so much, he’d changed so much! 

Dick barely remembered to turn off his computer before he grabbed his suit and headed straight for Gotham, and Crime Alley. 

It was half a miracle that Dick didn’t crash on his way to Gotham with how fast he was going, and how little attention he was paying. He wound in and out of traffic to get to his little brother as quickly as possible, ignoring everything else till he reached Crime Alley. He abandoned his bike more than parked it, and went looking for Red Hood.

They must have access to the cameras in the Alley, or maybe just a network of informants, because they came to meet him long before he would have found them. Both Hyena and Hood were there, but as soon as Dick saw Red Hood he zeroed in and barely noticed Hyena, didn’t even hear the way he snarled when Dick rushed towards Jason.

Jason made a ‘down’ gesture to Hyena who subsided and stopped growling, fading partially into the shadows, though he was still watching them intently. 

“Is that really you Little Wing?” Dick breathed, he felt like the hope was choking him and he didn’t even know if it was real. He’d had delusions and hallucinations before, and Jason featured in them regularly. Hood looked tense, his arms were crossed and his posture closed off, he didn’t seem exactly happy to see Dick.

“What do you want, Big Bird?” He asked. The nickname, even through the modulator Dick recognized the way Jason said it.

Dick was shaking he realized, and he could feel the burning of tears behind his eyes as he crumpled in on himself. Hardly a warm reception, but of course it wasn’t. Why would Jason want to see him? He had been a terrible brother, he hadn’t been there when Jason needed him, he hadn’t been there for Tim. He shouldn’t have come, shouldn’t have intruded on Jason’s new life. He was probably better off without Dick anyway.

“I’m so sorry,” He managed to choke out. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there, that I wasn’t here. B didn’t tell me, you- No, you didn’t have to tell me, you don’t have to accept my apology. But I wish-” He was interrupted by a little hiccupping sob. He shook his head and brushed away his tears with the back of his hand, furious at himself for his useless self pity. “I wish I’d been a better brother to you. I should have been there, I should have saved you.”

A pair of strong arms wrapped around Dick and he surrendered to them immediately, if Jason hurt him he probably deserved it. But no, Jason just… held him. “I don’t blame you Dicky,” Jason said softly and the floodgates just broke. Dick wrapped his arms back around Jason and sobbed into his broad chest, clinging like a child and barely processing it as he was picked up. Hyena leading the way and Jason brought him to their nearest safehouse.

Dick passed out before they got there. 

----------

Danny opened the door for Jason and quickly disabled all the traps so Jason could carry Dick in and lay him down on the couch. He covered Dick with a throw blanket and slumped down into a chair, taking his helmet off and took a deep breath, letting his head fall back against the chair with a soft thunk. 

Danny trotted to the kitchen and put a pot of coffee on to brew. Once it was done and Jason had a moment to collect himself Danny poured Jason a cup. He pressed it into Jason’s hand and curled up on Jason’s lap purring softly, Jason was sure he wasn’t actually happy right now, but knew Jason found the sound soothing and was doing it for his benefit. He appreciated it.

He absently rubbed Danny’s back while he processed his feelings. Danny didn’t say anything, they never really demanded answers of each other, Jason appreciated that too.

“I didn’t know he cared this much, or that he was doing this badly,” Jason told Danny softly. “I should have reached out to him. I thought he already knew and just didn’t care.”

“It’s not your fault, you didn’t have a great relationship with him before did you? You didn’t think those things for no reason,” Danny told him. 

“Ya, he’d left by the time Bruce took me in and he was barely around. And when he was Bruce and he would fight and he’d storm off,” Jason said with a sigh. “But he’s thinner now, and so tired. I didn’t realize-” He cut himself off, hiding his face in Danny’s shoulder.

“He’s here now, we’ll work it out,” Danny promised, and his confidence did soothe Jason, at least enough to come out of hiding and sip his coffee.

---------

Dick woke up to the smell of fresh baked bread and cinnamon. For a moment he thought that he must be at the manor, and it felt like it had when he was a kid, but when he stretched he realized he was sleeping on a couch. He paused for a moment, and all the memories from before came back. He sat up abruptly and looked around wildly. 

“Well welcome back Sleeping Beauty. Seriously, how long has it been since you slept?!” Jason asked, and the other man sitting at the kitchen island cackled. He recognized the laugh, even if Hyena was out of his suit. “You’ve been asleep all night, I made cinnamon rolls.” 

As if to prove it Hyena held up his half eaten cinnamon roll, and then took another big bite. “There’s coffee too,” Hyena said with his mouth full, Jason whacked him with a spatula for it and Hyena dramatically pretended to be hurt. Jason rolled his eyes. 

Dick blinked and got up, warily approaching the counter as if he expected them to reject or attack him. Jason just got him a cup of coffee and a cinnamon roll as he sat down. Dick picked it up and nibbled it, it was delicious enough that he kept picking at it, even though he didn’t have much of an appetite. 

“How long have you been back?” Dick asked Jason softly. He should introduce himself to Hyena properly, but he couldn’t seem to focus on anything but Jason right now. He’d grown so much, he looked older than he was. Where had that little boy gone?

“I came back about six months after my death but I wasn’t all there,” Jason said, turning away to pour his own cup of coffee. “The League of Shadows found me and dumped me in the Pit. I had the worst case of Pit Madness afterwards. It took me a year of training with them, and another year with the All-Cast before I really knew who I was enough to come back to Gotham, and I’m still not the same as I was before. I never will be,” Jason said like a warning as he pulled up a stool and sat down across from Dick and Hyena. 

“They’re pretty common ongoing side effects of resurrection like that,” Hyena added, finally drawing Dick’s attention to him. “Increased violence and obsessive tendencies are pretty normal. So are the grudges and the need for closure, I mean, it makes perfect sense doesn’t it?”

He stretched across the table towards Jason, and Dick finally noticed the white in his hair. It matched Jason’s now, though the placement was different. Jason absently brushed his fingers over Hyena’s open palm in a brief but practiced caress. Hyena grinned up at him fondly. It made Dick feel out of place.

“How would you know?” Dick bristled, he didn’t mean to, and he shouldn’t have. He just hated how well Hyena obviously knew Jason when Dick didn’t know him at all. He had always been a bit of a jealous person.

“Because I died too and I was the same! And I wasn’t even exposed to this Pit stuff,” Hyena explained with a little shrug before straightening up again.

“Oh,” Dick sounded, deflating again, he really shouldn’t be picking fights. He'd rather focus on Jason anyway. “Why didn’t you tell me you were back,” He said looking at Jason and trying not to cry again. “You’ve been back for, what, 8 months? You could have reached out.”

“I didn’t think you'd care, we weren’t exactly close,” Jason said with a  shrug. Dick felt like he had been punched in the gut. “When I revealed myself to Bruce and asked why he hadn’t avenged me he threw a batarang at me to stop me from killing the joker and slit my throat,” He said, tilting his head to show the scar. Dick felt like he might throw up at the sight. “I guess I didn’t want to risk reaching out again.

“I figured I was pretty well disowned and didn’t have a family anymore-”

“Besides me!” Hyena chirped, smiling at Jason who gave his partner a look of fond exasperation. 

“Yes, besides you. So I just kept going with what I was doing, making Crime Alley a safer place and stuff. I did reach out to Tim and we’ve had dinner a few times, but I guess I figured… I heard through the grapevine you didn’t come to my funeral. I didn’t think there was any reason to reach out.”

“I was just in denial,” Dick admitted in a near whisper. “I didn’t want to believe you were gone. I never got a chance to be a better brother, I thought that I’d have more time I guess. Bruce and I, we both fell apart after your death. He got violent to the point Tim felt like he needed to step in,” Jason was nodding, Tim must have told him about that. “But I did too, I had nightmares, and didn’t sleep to the point I started hallucinating you. I beat the Joker to death and never forgave the fucking EMTs who resuscitated him, even though I couldn’t bring myself to do it again.” He sighed and rubbed his face. “I missed you.”

“Damn… I’m sorry Dick, if I'd known it fucked you up that bad I would have reached out. I just assumed since Bruce and Tim knew, you must know too. I wasn’t that surprised you didn’t come, but I didn’t blame you.

"Not this time, and not when I died either. I was mad at Bruce, not you, you didn’t ask for a brother and I understood that. I wasn't your responsibility.

"But, I guess, you’re here now, and I am too. We can try and start over. It’ll have to be slow though,” he glanced at Hyena, who nodded encouragingly. “This is going to be… a lot. For both of us I’m sure.” 

“Right,” Dick agreed sheepishly. “Whatever you need Little Wing, I’m sorry I just showed up without warning last night. I just needed to see you.”

“It’s okay, I’m… glad to know you care. No one told me that you tried to kill the Joker.” Jason paused and shoved the plate of cinnamon rolls towards Hyena. Huh, Dick hadn’t noticed him trying to sneak another one. Hyena looked sheepish as he took another, Jason shook his head at his boyfriend before continuing. “Just take better care of yourself okay? Next time I see you I don't want you passing out in my arms again,” Jason chided him.

“Ya, ya I will,” Dick agreed with an embarrassed little blush. “I’ll reach out to Tim too.” It was way past time to do that.

“Good, he’s a good kid but his self worth is in the fucking gutter. He’s going to work himself to death before he’s 30 if someone doesn’t give him a healthy role model, and some support, and we all know Bruce won’t do it,” Jason huffed, rolling his eyes. 

“I’ll do my best to help,” Dick vowed. This was a second chance he never expected, he was not going to waste it. 

#fanfiction #danny phantom #dc x dp #jason todd #dead on main #my writing #dick grayson #Hyena!Danny #batfam #long post #multii part fic #dick grayson has eldest daughter syndrome #Dick Grayson has depression

[bearhugsandshrugs]

Hey, what is this change in Raphael fanon you’re referring to? I think I noticed the same thing, but I wanted to make sure. Please don’t feel pressured to answer if you’re not comfortable with the question 🫶

Anyway, I just wanted to say that I really liked your take on him and feel like nobody writes him like that anymore (the other writers who did also stopped).

Hey! Let me preface this by saying that this is in no way to dunk on the fandom. I think it's pretty natural that as time progresses, certain fanon takes "stick" / gain more traction / become more popular. It's also not to say that my perspective of the character is "good" and another is "bad", it's more that the current dominant fanon perception of Raphael (and Haarlep) doesn't resonate with me.

Over the past months, most part of the Raph!fandom that is visible to me seems to have arrived at the conclusion that Raphael is smitten with the player character, rather than him being a manipulative fiend that uses charm to get what he wants. That leads to characterizations of him where he "loves" a Tav/Durge/OC, where his actions get attributed as driven by that player character (as opposed to them being an important tool to him).

As someone who's written a somewhat softer Raph in my own fic (and I only barely made that work for myself by making him human, and the ending – SPOILERS – very much is intended to contradict any perception of him being selfless/in love/able to love how humans love) I don't think it's true of his character.

Him being able to love is an interpretation that I don't personally agree with. Of course people can HC that! More power to you!!! Have fun with it. It's just a take I don't enjoy because to me, it takes away a lot of the complexity and a core part of his canon personality.

Related to that there's, again, from my pov, an infantilization that comes along with that.

Raphael as incapable. Raphael as a helpless plaything for Haarlep. Raphael as a dork. Raphael as comic relief. Raphael showing up because he "loves" the character instead of manipulating them. And so on. Same as before: It's, to me personally, a reduction of his character, and quite frankly, boring. He is more powerful than this fanon version portrays him. He is more frightening, and ruthless, and evil, as fanon seemingly wants him to be.

For Haarlep it's even more so that he gets reduced to that funny side character. The darker sides of that character often gets left out. Again, the dominant fanon perception of that incubus feels very one-dimensional and underserving of the complexity and outright shrewd brutality Haarlep displays (and probably needed to survive for this long under Raphael's roof).

They're both evil characters. But they can't be in the current discourse. They're getting washed into a softy, funny, cutiepie version. And that's not what I think the characters are.

To some degree this also happens to Gortash btw. But I digress.

Again. Not saying this read on the characters is bad, it's just one I personally don't agree with, and that I don't find interesting.

Now to the part about people enjoying my take on him in my writing. First, thank you so much for saying that! I really appreciate it. And I mean, I do see that Keeping Score and Folie á Deux are still two of my most-read fics to date, with tens of thousands of hits altogether. But the thing is. People don't comment on finished/older fics, not to mention reblog them lmao. I'm pretty sure that Folie has gotten 50-65% of its hits after even the expansion (chapter 6) was written. Did it get any comments since then? Ha.

Keeping Score also got a significant number of reads after completion. But I can count the number of people (!) on one hand who commented since I finished it end of 2023. So. Unless you tell writers you enjoy their work, we won't know. Because I cannot tell who clicks on the fic and leaves again, or who devours it all in one sitting.

Sorry for the tangent. It's just a pity to hear now, all those months later, that there are people out there who liked my depiction of Raph when I was pretty convinced that no one actually cared. Anyway!

I hope this doesn't start any drama, because legit, I don't have beef with anyone. I am happy that character is giving so many people joy. I have my Gorty delusions to keep me entertained. But you asked, so here's a long answer, hoping I gave enough context to make it understandable.

Happy headcanoning and shipping, everyone <3

#bg3 raphael #my writing #anon asks #haarlep

[apomaro-mellow]

Hot for Teacher(s) 11

Part 10

The smell of a pup was usually a fresh, neutral scent on their own until they officially presented and it ripened with the unique scent of adolescence. It was why scenting one’s child was important. A way to mark them as your own for the whole world to know. And it was typical of parents to do this before seeing their child off somewhere, particularly school.

Shawn never really noticed before now how sometimes his classmates would smell just a little different, depending on who scented them. He wasn’t the only one with one parent but Daniel got to see his mom on weekends, and Elodie still talked to her dad. Shawn was the only one with a single parent with no contact with his other. And he wasn’t complaining. But now that he noticed, he wondered if other people noticed his single note of a scent.

No one had ever made him feel bad about it but maybe they were just being nice about his situation…

Eddie greeted his students in the morning, usually with a high five or a fist bump. “Warm up’s on your desks, make sure you have a sharpened pencil.”

Elodie got to her desk before unpacking and looked at the worksheet. “Do we get to color?”

“What do the directions say?”, Eddie asked, encouraging her to read.

“‘Color…your fa…vorite food’. Yay!”

Eddie told her good job before seeing to the other students and making sure unpacking by the cubbies went without any drama. It all seemed to be going well, so he turned his back. Of course, that was when he heard shoving and the beginnings of a wailing cry.

Shawn was at his desk while Mr. Munson tried to soothe Yasmin. She bumped her head against his leg like she was much younger than six, a move that would normally get an adult to scent her and assure her she wasn’t in trouble. Mr. Munson just gave her a pat on the head and reminded her that the cubbies had names and she couldn’t just put her things wherever she wanted, but also Daniel shouldn’t toss other’s belongings onto the floor.

Mr. Munson was really nice like that, giving head pats, and high fives, but he never scented any of the students. That would be weird. But would he scent Shawn? Where did they stand, now that he was dating his dad?

After school, Steve came and he rubbed Shawn’s cheeks. “You’re like my cute mochi thing. What do they call it? The white thing?”

“Cinnamoroll?”, Eddie and Shawn said in unison.

“No, the other thing. The rabbit.”

“That’s Cinnamoroll, Dad. Now please release my cheeks”, Shawn said.

That just made Steve squish them together more. “No, there’s something else. And I’m pretty sure that’s supposed to be a dog anyway.” He let Shawn’s face go and looked up at Eddie. “We still on for tonight?”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world”, Eddie promised.

Shawn waited until they were in the car before asking. “What’s tonight?”

Steve smiled. “He’s coming over for dinner.”

“What’re we having?”, Shawn asked, trying to look nonchalant as he played with his seatbelt.

“I was thinking cockroach legs and frog’s eyes”, Steve said, snickering at the look of disgust that he caught in the mirror. “Well what would you serve then?”

“Make your own tacos. I saw you taking out ground beef earlier.”

“You know what, that could work”, Steve agreed. Nevermind that Shawn also would’ve seen the different vegetables on the counter, as well as various sauces which could only be used for tacos. Christopher Nolan, eat your heart out.

Eddie would be spending the evening with them as it was decided that he should do so without it being a date. He and Steve knew they worked well together, now it was time to add Shawn to the mix. He would only be his teacher for a few more months after all. And then in a few years, he would probably be Steve’s. So keeping them apart for that reason was about to be null and void.

Steve had Shawn finish his homework at the table while he started cooking. Eddie arrived about half an hour later, knocking at the door. Steve sent Shawn to get it only because he was washing his hands from touching raw meat and he recognized the roar of Eddie’s van by now. 

“Well, if it isn’t the man of the house”, Eddie smiled when Shawn opened the door.

“Are you here to sell cookies?”, Shawn teased.

“Hmm, no cookies, only pie”, he said, bringing one from behind his back.

Shawn shrugged. “That’ll work.”

He let Eddie in and they joined his dad in the kitchen. Eddie greeted Steve with a kiss, who smiled when he saw the dessert Eddie brought. 

“You didn’t have to.”

“I didn’t. Safeway did.”

Dinner was a fun affair. Probably the only low point for Shawn was when the two of them randomly broke out into a song that he didn’t know and even danced along to it. Did they not see how embarrassing they were? The tacos were good though. Shawn liked to put a ton of cheese on his. 

“Hey, you got something there”, Eddie said in the middle of eating.

“Where?”, Steve asked, trying to look at his own face.

Eddie put a swipe of sour cream on his nose. “There.”

Shawn laughed enough to shake his own taco (#3) and make half the ingredients spill out onto his plate. After eating, Shawn helped by bringing the dirty dishes to the sink and helping Steve wrap up the leftovers while Eddie got to washing. Shawn got to take his slice of pie to the living room so long as he ate at the coffee table, leaving the two adults alone.

They were shoulder to shoulder as they washed and dried. At one point, Steve put his head on Eddie’s shoulder and they paused for a moment, soaking it all in. It was only one night but this one night boded well for their future. Once the dishes were done, they joined Shawn, who had taken up the middle of the couch. Without a word, they sat on either side of him. Shawn had it on a kids’ sitcom, but honestly it didn’t matter what they were watching. 

Steve and Eddie’s arms were across the back of the couch so that they could touch, leaving Eddie’s side open for Shawn to lean into. Shawn let out a yawn, full and tired. Then he bumped his forehead against Eddie’s chest. His eyes bugged out, looking at Steve for a sign, approval, something. He didn’t want to spook Shawn by using his voice though. Steve’s eyes were glistening a little as he nodded. 

Slowly, Eddie brought his arm down and rubbed his wrist against Shawn’s hair and cheeks. Steve could just barely hear the coo of contentment. When they were sure he was asleep, Eddie gathered Shawn in his arms and carried him to his room, Steve leading the way. 

“Wait for me in my room”, Steve whispered so that he could give Shawn a bit of privacy while dressing him down in his pjs.

Eddie waited faithfully, sitting on the edge of the bed when Steve finally came in. They spent the night sharing slow kisses, building each other up while using just their hands to finish the job. It was still a school night, after all.

From then on, Eddie took some time to scent Shawn while he was fully awake, sometimes even at school. The other students didn’t think much of it but the week after just happened to be the school-wide spelling bee. A few parents were in attendance. Steve couldn’t make it, as it was the middle of the day, but Eddie promised him pictures.

Shawn took first place, almost stumbling on the word ‘lightning’ but pushing through. The awards were given and parents congratulated their kids, getting pictures as well. Eddie kept himself available, only about half of his students’ parents showed up. Shawn showed his trophy to a friend who was standing by their dad.

He knelt down by Shawn. “You want me to get some pics for your dad, kiddo?”

“Mr. Munson’s gonna text my dad, right?”, Shawn beamed.

“That I will”, Eddie promised.

It was such a benign interaction that Eddie didn’t think a thing of it. But in that moment, the other parent caught a whiff of Shawn, who smelled too similar to Mr. Munson. And texting a parent? On its own, not strange but he’d been careful not to give out his personal number to anyone. He communicated mostly through emails. Sometimes a flyer in the kids’ folders. It was all just adding up to something fishy in his opinion…

He voiced as much to his wife when he got home and she just didn’t see it.

“Are you trying to say Shawn’s dad slept with the teacher so he could win the spelling bee?”

“I mean I’m not saying that exactly, but it seems kind of rigged, doesn’t it?”

She called their daughter down from her room. “Is your friend Shawn a good speller?”

“Yeah, he can even spell some second grade words. They ran out of first grade words to give him.”

“Well, your daddy didn’t mention that.”

“I just think we shouldn’t rule it out.” A lot of the parents knew each other, at least in passing. So it was no secret that Steve was single. Of course, most would never suspect he was dating his son’s teacher but considering the scent he was carrying…

As this was brewing on Eddie's side, from Steve's past a familiar face approached closer and closer.

Part 12 coming soon

Fun fact: that actually happened at my school's spelling bee. Two of my first graders spelled so well, they had to move on to second grade words. Don't praise me though, they came to me that smort.

Taglist

@anne-bennett-cosplayer @aol19 @lololol-1234 @gregre369 @attic-cat-blog

@hippieg1rl420 @spectrum-spectre

#apo writes #stranger things #steddie #omegaverse #a/b/o

[tastytoastz]

I just want to say that the most recent chapter, at the time of writing this, of your fic (where Pac and Mike travel back in time to a 2b Fit, forgive me for forgetting the name) had me so enthralled. I've said this before but I don't think there are nearly enough fics that thoroughly explore the absolute internalised homophobia a man would develop in a place like 2b, so to have a fic like yours properly portray it is like a dream. That chapter has been stuck in my mind since I first read it, and I've reread it a couple of times.

I can't get over how well you showed that he wasn't just angry, but genuinely terrified. I love the emphasis on him being above all just so fucking scared of that information existing out loud. It's such a good angle. And he's not completely dead shocked by the revelation, and jumps straight into denial, which makes it come across - to me, anyway - as if he has already been aware of this fact about himself for a while, like he knows, and he actively works to hide it everyday. There's so much implied in what isn't said . It leaves you wondering how long he's known, how much he thinks about it, if anyone else in his life has ever known, if he has witnessed first hand what happens to people like him (has he ever watched someone get killed for that while having slurs and horribly vulgar and vivid insults thrown at them, and tried his hardest not to picture himself in that position, as the victim?) ... And most of all you wonder what the aftermath of the interaction looks like on his end. Is he panicking silently up in that room, expecting a mob at his door by morning? What is he thinking, what's running through his head? What does he expect to happen now?

I just love the angle you took and how it was written, and that you decided to pick up the heavy subject matter and write it where a lot of other writers seem hesitant. It's so intriguing .

Thank you so much for this ask!!! I could go crazy over this chapter as well and point out so many details, I'm gonna get into some here, but not all (since I wanna keep some stuff ambigitous/secret still and cuz if i mentioned it all it would be a long post, but I will probably go deeper into some more things once the fic is over cuz I have so many things and smaller details I wan't to get into!!! ) (Also I guess if you want to keep thing ambigious and not 'peek behind the curtain' about some things with this fic don't keep reading)

I have seen some people say Fit's reaction to Mike's comment is with self-denial but honestly it's a lot closer to just being him denying Mike and Pac's words. He's not lying to himself, he's strictly lying to Pac and Mike, and I'm glad I was able to make that clear and people are picking up on it!

Not gonna go to much into it right now ( that's for later in the fic 🤫), but he's very aware he is gay.

As a queer person myself homophobia is sadly not something i'm unfamiliar with. I have experinced it directed towards me and I have seen it happen to other people. Meanwhile i've also done research about internalised homophobia as best I can. I know it's a heavy subject matter (and the fic has a lot of violence/gore as well, it's rated M for a reason) so I'm glad so many people are intrigued by the fic despite it (however I fully understand if someone would not like the themes and cuz of that won't read it). I'm hoping to portray it and handle the themes as best i can.

I also think it would just makes sense from a character perspective, you have a man who has been on 2b2t for years, surrounded by slurs for all lgbtq memebers and wathcing people get specially targeted for stuff like that, and that would fuck with you as a closeted gay person. Not only bring you fear of being "found out", but also adapting homophobi language to look less like "one of them" while also just ingraning it in yourself.

Fit's been told the person he is bad, and knows that if people find out he's gay there will be a lot of negative consequnces, so he hides it. And then here comes Mike, not only saying that he knows he's gay but also that "it's obvious" that he likes Pac. For Mike and Pac it's a factual thing they know, while they also know is dangerous to Fit in the wrong hands. They also think it's obvious Fit likes Pac beacuse they know what to look for.

For Fit it sounds like these random guys, despite his best efforts, knows he's gay, the other says he has photo evidence he's gay, and then said he is awful at hiding it. These two people could ruin his life and have him killed so easily. That's what Fit heard and that is terrifying.

This is also one of the reason this fic is only from Pac's POV becuase I want it to be as unclear for the reader what Fit is thinking as it is for Pac. You don't know how Fit thinks in the past, what ideas he has or how he looks at thing which I think it both intruging for readers but also terrifying. You never know what Fit's next move is going to be.

Once again, thank you so much for the ask! I love talking about my fics so thank you for giving me a reason to!

#toast fic #I should really have a tag for this fic or something umm #I'm worried bout the future fic #that works for now #ask #tw homophobia #it's very late for me right now so i hope this makes sense and is readable

[pinkandpurple360]

here's a recap if you don't wanna watch! (spoilers!)

starts on the duet, basically unchanged from the con preview clip that I could tell

cut to the CHERUBs who are stuck on Earth and scamming people for money, the purple deer one has reservations but the other two are losing their morals. they get captured by DHORKs who have now got massive government funding I guess because they captured demons on tape? anyway they're working on this stargate-like portal to Hell and can only make a little one so they give the CHERUBs robot suits to go through and kill IMP for them (also DHORKs have a line of...pope robots? idk why they looked like that, I guess holy=hurts demons?)

cut back to office, Blitzo is dressed up for night with Stolas but is only enthused about having sex with him. He's also happy that Stolas has been letting him have months off (lol) but gets nervous about the business when Loona says Stolas pulling away means he's bored of him

he goes looking around town for more sex toys to impress Stolas with while CHERUB tail him, thinking he's gonna kill a human soul on earth with the things he buys. He goes to Fizz who gives him a massive sex toy which was blurred out so idk what it was supposed to be (Fizz calls him buddy! also there's definite sexual tension when Fizz shows him some blindfolds but it's a very small thing in Blitzo's animation so we're probably not supposed to read much into it)

CHERUB see massive sex toy, assume murder weapon and are gonna fight Blitzo when IMP get in the way. they'd been tailing Blitzo so he doesn't mess up (and I quote) "their meal ticket" [Stolas]. fight ensues, Blitzo comically doesn't notice it's going on right behind him, etc. IMP beat CHERUB and throw them back through earth portal

scene where Blitzo & Stolas talk finally happens. Blitzo tries to impress Stolas with sex toys, Stolas retreats to book shelf and gives him crystal. Blitzo is confused & desperate not to lose book during this scene, even saying 'I'll do anything'. Stolas says full moon deal was wrong, shouldn't have bound Blitzo to him, doesn't say he's sorry directly or apologize for using Blitzo's class to get sex out of him, doesn't apologize for using him being shot at to do it.

Blitzo assumes Stolas is doing roleplay and tries to join in and Stolas immediately gets offended and leaves the room, telling Blitzo (who follows) that he's hurt Blitzo assumed it was a sex thing and he wasn't sincere. pacing wise this happens pretty quick, like Stolas literally just dumped this all on him (which Blitzo points out)

Blitzo gets mad and yells at Stolas for treating him the way he did his servants, calls him an asshole (doesn't get to call him out for the whole 'leveraged my life being in danger' thing though...typical...)

Stolas immediately breaks down in tears and is all like 'I think so highly of you but you think so low of me!' and uses magic to dump Blitzo at his front door right as it sounds like Blitzo is trying to say 'Stolas, I'm sorry' (kill me)

smash to end credits, no music

He's also happy that Stolas has been letting him have months off (lol) but gets nervous about the business when Loona says Stolas pulling away means he's bored of him

they'd been tailing Blitzo so he doesn't mess up (and I quote) "their meal ticket" [Stolas]. fight ensues, Blitzo comically doesn't notice it's going on right behind him, etc. IMP beat CHERUB and throw them back through earth portal

God that’s fucking. horrible. they’re all complacent in their ‘friend’ being pimped out and only care about themselves, not him. Abuse enablers. I swear to fuck it’s only striker the “villain” who says he’s treated like a plaything and deserved better??? CHRIST. The entire world literally revolves around making stolas happy and if you make him unhappy your world is over. I hate this bastard but now I find the rest of IMP disgusting as well. They don’t give a fuck about blitz and shouldn’t bother pretending they can point out his flaws to him, while this is who they are. The show admitted he’s been extorting him for sex, conveys the pressure he’s under to give stolas whatever gratification he wants so he and his family can stay alive, has him lash out at the manipulation, but then because he made stolas cry, he’s wrong.

But again, this is all part of Medranos theme that poor people and minorities are bad, scheming, thieving people, and white men are misunderstood, need love, have so much on their shoulders, and are so wronged by the world.

ANYWAYS

ROBOT BATTLE ROBO FIZZES VS EARTH ROBOTS Trust.

Kindve sad missed opportunity for fizz to interact with MnM and Loona. Id want it to be a slow paced scene over a random skit or worse, offscreen meeting.

The Cherubs were massively shoe horned in.

#helluva boss critical

[olderthannetfic]

Ok so I'm thinking this could just be because of the online spaces I'm surrounded with and the absolute shit algorithms, but where does the assertion come from that white people are the ones who have super high standards for POC writing?

Ok I know, traditional publishing. Yeah, that's one side of things. The professional realm of US publishing is definitely high and staked against POC authors. No need to argue about that.

But I mean like, as readers. Because after seeing some people talk about that POC written "Wicked Gods book" I went on an age old online pastime of drama and tea spills in incognito mode, and the main people who seem to put POC writing to super high standards are... other POC people. Staying on topic for Wicked Gods, on that GR page of Wicked Gods there are tons of POC/BIPOC (they state it in the reviews) who're throwing out accusations that imply the writer is a traitor, hates POC, fetishizes colonialism, the impact of it, feeds into the WMAW trope etc etc. Even some who go full attack on the author saying their grandparents would be ashamed of them if they were still alive or that the author doesn't care about the people affected by history.

Then went to youtube, and while most of the POC reviewers are good at staying constructive, there are those who just immediately go to drag the author and do the same shit as some of the GR reviews I mentioned.

Anyway went down the rabbit hole of checking "controversial POC authors" or just some more reader bait books and yeah, a lot of the actual "high standard" talks come from a lot of POC reviewers. Though the standards are mostly POC having super high standards for other POC people on how to represent POC authors, writing and experiences, and culture. Anything that could be "bad" like colonizer romance, gets a lot of angry reviews from POCs about that, and some other tropes. Even in the cases where the POC in question isn't even of the same race as the author. The only real "white ppl standards" thing is that on average there seem to be more white readers on some books, but most of the white people deliberately reading POC books don't seem to actually have that high standards for the POC novels, they're actually kinda boring. Either it's very touristy, very nothing, just parroting some POC reviewer, or it's actually just a normal review with no commenting on accuracy or expectations, just taking the book for what it is and criticising what they do know, eg poor depictions of feminism, or just poor writing..

--

I suspect the actual pattern is 50% the "How it works" thing where a minority person is anomalous and memorable while a "default" person's bad writing/actions/etc. are forgotten and not treated as part of a pattern we should pay attention to...

And 50% people being more sensitive to portrayals of their own group or a minority group they relate to or whatever. I know bad depictions of women annoy me more than those of men, and my standards for f/f are unfortunately higher than my standards for m/m.

I do see white people signal boosting pseudo-activist stuff they clearly don't have enough context for and should probably not be signal boosting, but I'd say the actual white person bad behavior in this sphere is more often abject indifference.

As for where the assertion comes from... I presume it's the usual "My enemies must be of the demographic I dislike!" idiocy. You see this fallacy in every type of argument put forward by every type of person. It's certainly not restricted to POC bitching about white people.

[lovezbrownies]

I'm a new Anon and would love to make a request, please!

May I request Gen Ludenhart's darling escaping to Xelera's enemy country. Not only that, but darling took the kids with them and they are now under protection of the Queen of that country.

Your loss. (Yan!Chief of Military x GN!Reader.)

Hello!!! Thank you for the request!!! I'm so so sorry this took so long, have had some stuff on my plate ! Before you read this I couldn't see darling being able to escape with like 6 or 8 kids with them so I had made it to be Reader's two kids from their previous marriage. Also this is uneditted!!!! Please excuse any mistakes!!

Masterlist.

Gen Ludenhart x GN!Reader

Today, Gen decided to take you with her to work, you, however, didn’t want to go. Mostly because you fear some servant is going to hurt your kids. The kids you had with your previous wife, Anaya, before Gen had cruelly killed her in cold blood. But you also didn’t want to go against Gen’s wishes, fearing she might hurt your kids to teach you a lesson, though she had reassured you time and time again that nothing bad would befall your precious children, you couldn’t bring yourself to believe the woman who’s killed people in your name.

One positive out of this is Gen lets you wander around the palace, you prefer to stick to the quieter places like the gardens and libraries that are scattered around the palace. Right now, you were sat on the ground of one of the gardens, plucking up some tiny flowers and tying them to each other. Creating flower crowns was a new pastime of yours, it was so peaceful, contradicting the mess that is your mental state. “Mind if you make one for me as well?” You flinched at the sudden voice, you spin around, panicked. You spun around, your peaceful pastime has now been spoiled. You saw a tall elegant woman, probably taller than Gen. She looked to be around 50 years old, a smile adorning her slightly wrinkled face. 

You didn’t like this, whenever you speak with anyone other than Gen something horrible befalls them. You stammer, “It’s okay just take this one, I-I have to go anyways.” You give the woman the flower crown you’d just finished, not wanting to cause any further trouble to the people of the palace you ran off, unaware of the woman’s worried gaze following you. It took a while of walking around the maze that is the palace to finally find Gen’s office, and just as you were about to open the door, Gen opened it.

The devil smiled at you, “Ah, there you are my love, I was just about to look for you! Either way, I’m going to an important meeting and I need you to stay in my office, got that? If you leave this office I will know. Don’t want you hurting yourself while I’m away.’’ Grabbing you by the waist she pulled you close, pecking you on the forehead before leading you into her office, “Be good for me, doll.” And then she shut the door, leaving you alone with your thoughts. Sighing, you went and sat on her office chair, wanting to play a few games, watch a show, anything to pass the time while imprisoned in her boring office.

Seems like whatever meeting Gen has it is very important because it’s been well over an hour and you’ve grown bored of the computer, you yearn for human interaction, for the outside, for your old life back. You yearn for your kids, to make sure they’re both fine, to make sure that no one’s going to hurt them. Yet, you’re stuck in your captor’s office. Sighing you got up, stretching as much as you can to release some of the tension in your body, spotting the big open window you let out a breath. You lied windows, the outside looked so tempting from a window. To see the greenery that you’re used to from above just reignites your love for nature. 

Walking over to the window, there was a small chair right next to it, to sit on as you watch the outside world through the glass. Looking down you’d only just realized. The garden you most frequent, was always always underneath Gen’s office. Even in subconscious you’re somehow glued to her. You were too tired to be upset, whatever. If she watches you even as you relax, who cares, as long as she doesn’t hurt your kids you’re fine. 

You spot the woman from before, she’s still there for some reason, she was sitting on one of the benches of the garden. You can slightly see her struggle with something in her hands. Oh, she was trying to make a flower crown on her own as well. You wished you could go down and help her without having to pay for your empathy. Leaving the office would be one punishment, but talking to another woman? Regardless of the woman’s age you’d be done for. 

Suddenly the older woman looked up, straight at you. Even from up above you can tell she’s smiling tenderly at you, like a maternal figure. Spooked you closed the windows and went back to using Gen’s computer. Whoever she is she better not mention you to anyone, not only will she suffer, but you too. Soon enough Gen comes back, happy to see you still there. She forced you to sit on her lap as she continued on with her work. 

And for the entire week Gen’s forced you to come to work with her, not only that but the flower crown woman kept seeking you out and everytime she found you you’d run off to Gen. It wasn’t like you were fearful of the nice old lady, but you were fearful of what would happen to her, so you kept your distance. But she just wouldn’t let it go. You’d change places, from gardens to libraries you just couldn’t shake her off. Today however is so much more different than every other day, because she’s trapped you. Curse the public bathroom you rushed to.

You stare at her, unsure of what to do or say. What if Gen knows what’s happening, what if she busts in here and kills this woman right in front of you like she’s done before. While you were lost in your thoughts the woman spoke up, “Well, looks like we can talk without fleeing now, right?” She had a gentle expression on her face to try and calm you down, but it only made you more tense. You’ve seen that same expression on Gen right after she finishes punishing you, telling you how it’s your fault and how remorseful she is to have to resort to torture.

You look down to the side, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, now if you’ll excuse me I need to get back to my… wife.” You tried to sidestep her but she pressed herself against the public bathroom’s door. She looked relaxed, her arms crossed. If you couldn’t leave the room then the best you can do is to put as much space between you two as possible. Even if this old lady’s being an ass right now, her life would be at stake if Gen took the time to look for you.

The woman tilted her head, her smile evaporating, a worried look coming across her face, “You don’t like her do you? Your wife, Chief of Military Gen Layla Ludenhart. She killed your loved ones, kidnapped you and your kids, and now you live in fear. Is that right?” What the fuck, who is she, what does she want from you? How does she even know you have kids? That you were stolen away? That Gen killed the people you loved? You tried to keep up a calm face, for all you know this weirdo could be another stalker.

You met her gaze, she still looked worried, why the hell is she worried she doesn’t even know you. “I… I love my wife very much, my kids from my previous marriage are happy and so am I. You must be thinking of someone els-” 

“Liar. I know who you are, I know which hospital you were born in, I know who your first wife is, I know you’re scared of her. You don’t have to be,” The woman took a deep breath, slowly walking towards you, every step she took forward, you took two steps back. “I want to hurt her like she’s hurt me and my country. And the best way, ironically enough, is through you. Gen’s trophy spouse, she likes to hurt you, but I know how she reacts when you’re in danger, when you’re not nearby.” Your back hit the wall, you were frantically looking around, you needed to find a weapon.

The woman bent down slightly so her face is right in front of yours, and you can’t help but look deep into her eyes. “I am a queen, who’s been hurt more than you care to know. I can save you and your children, long as you manage to steal some documents with you and learn more about her war strategies.” Your kids. If they can live a happy life, even if you don’t then you’ll do anything but first you want to get to know this so-called queen.

As it turns out the stalker of an old woman was the Queen of Dacos, Estoria Niland. Estoria had explained that she found out about you after hiring Xeleran spies to spy on Gen, find a weak point, and to get any information regarding Gen’s military tactics. These spies would send videos of how Gen would lose her cool completely when she can’t find you, seeing that Estoria decided to find out all she could about you. With that came the guilt and pity. For you and your kids. Gen liked to act loving but it was obvious, one step out of line and out comes the hardened military chief. She would make fun of your own Queen, Nia, by talking about how naive Nia was for believing that Estoria would ever come to Xelera to discuss peace and cooperation with each other, though you don’t know Queen Nia much the conversation made you slightly uncomfortable, I mean Nia has been the queen of Xelera since your birth! And also since you still love your country and in extension the Queen.

Estoria explained that Gen had killed many of Estoria’s daughters during a very difficult war almost a decade ago. Thankfully the youngest of the daughters was too young to participate in the war and was the only surviving Niland princess. Gen was the previous Chief’s favorite soldier back then, with a huge kill count that impressed the Queen of Xelera, Nia Bloodwen. Queen Nia was so incredibly impressed that she had appointed Gen as the Co-Chief and threw an entire party in Gen’s honor.

Hearing that her daughters’ killer is being celebrated, Estoria had felt vengeful, so she set out to make sure Gen pays for her crimes. It took years to dig up any dirt on the Chief, Gen always making sure to show a strong and steady front, no matter the situation and always kept her personal life to her life. But that murderer slipped up, the moment Gen had sent out wedding invitations to every person she’s come to know Estoria was on her tail. And now, she will have her revenge, in all of her daughters’ names.

Hearing the Queen of Dacos’s sob story and knowing that if you agree to escape with her that you’d be in very safe arms, you nodded, fully anticipating freedom at last. Estoria told you to gather information for her first, to find any document you could regarding Gen’s military strategies, the approximate number of soldiers under her watchful eye, and the name of each high-ranking military officer. You collected all you could, from Gen at-home office to Gen’s work office. You gathered all the paper documents and copied down whatever was on Gen’s computer while she was away. It was incredibly easy, she trusted you enough to let you wander around her office whenever. Terrible decision really.

Then came the day. “Get your kids ready and bring them here tomorrow. We leave while the rest of this shithole is in another fucking meeting.” You did everything she said, obeyed all that she ordered. And now you cradle one of your tired kids in your arms as you sit in silence with Estoria in her car. Estoria said that they’ll find out she’s left soon due to the checkpoints you two had to pass to get out and after that would come finding out you’re missing. When it comes to that she will tell the driver to move to a more secretive road to Dacos, a road hidden by large forest trees.

Nonetheless, you’re happy now. That was a long time ago and while it was stressful and hectic you can finally rest easy again. Your kids are no longer children anymore, fully grown successful adults who take every opportunity to spoil you with whatever they can. It took you a while at first to readjust, Estoria was gracious enough to allow you to live with her in the palace temporarily, but then it became more permanent as you got closer to Estoria and her youngest daughter, they are now like family to you, Estoria the worried mother and Yara the joyous sister.

Therapy was a must, Estoria would preach when she could. And you did get a lot of therapy. At first you had underestimated the wonders that is therapy, I mean, what can talking to a professional whose job is to listen to your problems even do? Well, it did a lot, and helped you move on from your trauma and accept the permanent psychological effects it had on you. It was hard to find love again, whether you settled down or stayed single till your timely death is up to your interpretation, you’re a knockout nonetheless.

Gen… Well Estoria made sure that no talk of the blasted woman comes near you, you have no idea what happened to her and what she had done in order to get to you, all you know and care for is that your family is safe and your kids are happy. 

Gen on the other hand couldn’t handle losing you, and what was even harder for her was that you were living with her mortal enemy. After a few years of constantly firing and attempting to start wars upon Dacos– which all failed– Gen had given up. She was found in her home a few days after she had poisoned herself with rat poison.

#yandere x reader #yandere #x reader #oc x reader #tw yandere #gender neutral #yandere oc #gn reader #yandere x darling #happy ending yay #yandere oc x reader

[takemebythehand-andsetmefree]

Here is a real quick projection onto Buck’s current live life. (And what I want from season 8????)

Quick background on myself, I am bisexual polyamorous, and non-binary. About two years ago I decided to finally step out of my comfort zone and start dating/hooking up with people for really the first time. I opened myself up to couples, other poly people, and basically anyone who would’ve be a fucking creep, but there is one situation I found myself in a few times that really stood out to me- being a third for a couple.

Now a lot of people DO NOT want to be a third/unicorn but I honestly really enjoyed it. I liked joining in on an existing dynamic, whatever that entailed. It also taught me how to read couples better.

Being a third (FOR SEX) is hard because you have to have some acceptance of the fact that you are essentially being used by the couple for their own satisfaction (if it’s a relationship dynamic you’re looking for it’s WAY different).

The reason I bring this up is because Im getting STRONG vibes that Tommy could be putting himself in the “third” situation right now. I feel like he’s been around Eddie enough to recognize the repression and compulsory heterosexuality (coming from Gerard’s 118, and the army) and then he recognized the longing for love in Buck.

I THINK that MAYBE if ABC is willing to go down this path, we could get a conversation with Buck and Tommy along the lines of “I know that you don’t love me that way. I know you’re working through shit, but Im going to Love You Anyway.” “I care about you enough as a person to help you through this journey, and while I might not be your endgame, Im what you are ready for right now, what you need right now, and Im okay being that.”

The idea that a relationship isn’t endgame isn’t something that most people are comfortable with, and I do know that Gay men characters are used for plot progression often, but I don’t think we see a lot of characters that are aware that this is their purpose, and OKAY with it.

I would love to see Tommy having seen both sides of Buddie, know that they are BOTH not ready, and deciding that maybe it’s okay. He can give Buck what he needs- his first boyfriend, someone to show him that love exists in a non toxic way, and someone to talk to, while getting what he needs in return- a boyfriend, a pseudo family at the 118, and someone to talk to.

And Eddie just needs a goddamn break and ALOT of therapy. So like, he isn’t ready for endgame either.

#911 spoilers #eddie diaz #911 #evan buckley #buddie #911 abc #tommy kinard #bucktommy #tevan

[abacus-jpg]

Anyone else not understand why people are moving to cara. Like I understand it’s because ai and shit,, but like. What confuses me is as long as your art is on the internet, aslong as you chose to post your art online anywhere, doesn’t matter where, it is prone to being stolen by ai. To me ai is nothing more then when people trace your art and call it their own. Ofc I don’t want people to do it, but ultimately that will not stop them. I do have a cara account, I was the first to claim abacus. When I tried posting there a few times I’ve been met with an error message, alongside that the app is really buggy and slow. I don’t see why people feel the need to come up with new apps to post art on when you could just use tumblr, but then the argument with tumblr is that there’s no engagement. But if we all flock to tumblr like people are flocking to cara then I don’t see why engagement would be such a big issue. Even then, if engagement is your main concern with your art I feel like you should reevaluate why you are pursuing art in the first place. I had this struggle ages ago where I didn’t feel my art was worth anything because I couldn’t cap 10 likes. But I realized, my art is for me. I’m the one that should be enjoying it, and my reason for posting now is for other people to enjoy it, so if they don’t,, I really don’t care all the much. I understand it is really detouring to post ocs and to have zero engagement, but that’s just the way art is. Unless you are producing fanart consistently of shit that is made into content farms, I really don’t see how you can garner a following just doing ocs. That’s why, doing art for your own sake is more important than trying to please everyone. I can guarantee there’s atleast one stranger on the internet that will fw your stuff the way you want. And the more you post, the more the number will grow. Most of the time it’s gradual, but one goes to two, two goes to three. And maybe you’ll only get one or two. But the important thing is, there’s someone. If you feel like you have no one, remember your art is for yourself. You’ll always have one, even if that is yourself. This might all seem contradictive. But trust, only you matter when it comes to your own artwork.

This “speech”, if you can call it that, isn’t to deter people from drawing and posting their ocs. This is just to say, engagement shouldn’t matter. As long as you’re happy, that’s all the matters. Post and draw what you want aslong as it’s not straight ripping from someone else. Idc.

This whole thing was supposed to be abt Cara but it turned into a uhh,, Ted talk of sorts. I’m not saying people shouldn’t use cara, if it works for them then by all means go for it. But personally I will not be making it my main form of social media. In my opinion, it’ll be like that other art app people were using for a week before they forgot abt it, I forget the name of it but I remember the interface was a light pink, similar to Instagram,, but somehow worse.

IM GONNA SPECIFY THAT I DONT CONDONE AI STEALING PEOPLES ART EITHER,, just putting that out there because some people have a way of misunderstanding or misinterpretating things. Which is okay!! Because some people genuinely get confused and that’s alright. But like please don’t use so first handedly. With that being said, I’m just a nobody on the internet so why would you listen to me,, you won’t. But i uhh,, am gonna put that there anyways

Thanks if you read allat,, idk why you would but that’s anyways I guess😭😭😭

#artists on tumblr #fanart #art #my art #digital art #original character #original characters #rant post #art rant #ai #artifical intelligence #ai rant #uhh #digital artist #tradtional art #traditional artist #ocs #oc #instagram #cara #meta

[aguzluv]

came here to rant about helluva boss because some of the ppl I had read is just DUMB

cw//helluva boss spoilers

tw//discussion about power dinamics and prostitution

Stop reading Blitzø and Stolas as individuals only!!!

It's easy to forget because it's not a big part of the show (it is tho) but there's a social context surrounding their relationship and they're not just two dummies unable to communicate they're a prince of hell and an imp (the lowest demon class)

Some people really just plain out forget Blitzø just saw their relationship as something transactional, he was maintaining his sexual encounters with Stolas because it was needed for his business to work, god you saw how scared he got when he thought it would lose his tool, he has people depending on him to live!

I know it's easy to read their relationship as a simple miscommunication thing, I know it's easy to put Stolas into the victim play, because the series kinda does it, but I beg you all to understand that there's no real victim in this situation, and if there's one it's not Stolas.

The social class in demon society exists and it's proven to be important, royal demons can easily eliminate lower classes demons, blitz it's under a power dinámica where he got zero power at a material level.

Yes he was a dick, I'm not saying he's the best demon out there, I don't even like him most of the time.

But to read all of those post showing him as if he was the worst just because he saw his prostitution as a transaction (IT WAS) and not a call to a serious relationship, you can't be for real, I just don't believe it.

Blitz never, never! saw their relationship as something more but a pay to play, Stolas catch feelings and entered a one way relationship without even explaining it to him.

I want to point out that all of this started with the circus episode, before that there was no shown of their relationship as something else but a sexual deal to kept the I.M.P working.

I'm just saying this because it pains me to see so many people just entirely ignoring the context behind their deal, I hate to see so many people painting blitz like the obvious bad guy just because Stolas had one good action towards him born from his own selfish wishes (that aren't bad, he's sweet, kinda).

And I'm not even going to talk about the trauma part of their characters, that's another rabbit hole I'll probably enter other day.

Anyway, rant over, if you got here, hello I'm aguz :3 I'm twenty two and I kind draw, sometimes...

#helluva boss #stolas #blitzø #blitz #blitzo #rant post

[saveugoodmadam]

everyone meet my oc!!! his name is dr arthur buchanan and he is 35 years old, he's one of jekyll's oldest friends and kiiind of went to university with him but more on that later. he is a voice of common sense in the society (so much so that he appears as such in jekyll's mind). his job title is basically that he studies stuff that transforms, so like werewolves and vampires etc.

more info under the cut! I'm also probably going to do a separate post going through everything in the background because there's a lot of details back there! also this took me like four days in total lmaoooo

arthur's scar is from seal hunters while he was in his seal form. people tend to kind of assume it was from a werewolf or vampire he was working with but no. humans.

his hair is quite long because culturally selkies only cut their hair before returning to the sea, so how long his hair is indicates how long it's been since he's last been home.

I mentioned him kind of going to uni with jekyll- basically, if you look on the wall behind him, he's got a diploma from the hidden university, which is a university for magical or folklorish people. it operates out of several places (kind of like the open university) and one of those places just so happened to be a hidden door in jekyll and lanyon's university library.

he would be trans by human standards but selkies don't really have a concept of gender, only child-bearer or non-child-bearer so it's not a big deal to him. plus also once you're on land you have to pick a human name for yourself anyway- arthur named himself after the hero of the storybook that a much younger jekyll was reading when they first met.

similarly, his accent is kind of weird and hard to place because of the many people he learned to speak from, including jekyll, his teachers, townsfolk, lanyon, the club he founded for lanyon's exes and the lodgers.

he's also accidentally married to sinnett because of the seal pelt rule. they haven't really addressed this but they have something unlabellable going on between them and arthur goes absolutely batshit ballistic at frankenstein for the 'le sommeil de la mort' incident. imagine how batshit henry got and then imagine how batshit he would have been if it had been lanyon and not sinnett and you have the basic idea.

he also knew about jekyll and hyde before most other people because it was such an obvious textbook case of people dealing with a first experience of metamorphosis from both of them but he's been sworn to secrecy on the matter. they usually come to him to bitch about each other and get drunk.

this is all the lore I've thought of so far but if you want to drop me an ask about him please do 🥺🥺🥺 please. please. let me infodump to you.

#the glass scientists #oc: arthur buchanan #my art #I'm so happy with how this piece turned out!!! #proportions are a wee bit wonky but I think I captured the vibe of the original introduction frames quite well! #yeah please please PLEASE send me asks about him <3 #the post about the background will come very soon I promise!

[lizandbo]

yo bro it’s been so fucking long since I’ve been on here

but uhhh heya! I’m back

I might get back to writing idrk

#I’m backkkkk #It’s been too long💀 #I just- GONE #ITS BEEN KINDA TOUGH TBH🤡🤡 #I just got so overwhelmed by everything #And no one’s on tumblr anymore really #And I like reading other peoples work anyways #Also a lot of my writing is cringey af and I’m kinda embarrassed by it🫠

[uncanny-tranny]

I recently had to do a project in one of my psych classes, and man, I knew that CBT was used for every little thing, but seeing over and over, "do CBT! CBT is the best for every mental illness!" was so jarring. I'm absolutely biased because of my own experiences, but I just don't think it's as universal a treatment model as it's touted.

If you didn't benefit from CBT, it's not because you're lazy or didn't try hard enough or lacked intelligence or foresight into your own needs. Frankly, it's a therapy model that (I think) shouldn't be the only readily-accessible model and among the only therapy models covered by insurance. Some of us should not be treated in a CBT model and that's okay. It's not a sign of poor character or unreasonable demands, and if you don't think it's a model that works for you, then it's your right to express that!

#mental health #mental health advocacy #it was just so annoying because every resource i could access for this project often ONLY recommended cbt and #that just doesn't seem helpful for a good chunk of people #because i know i never benefitted from that model of therapy #obligatory: i am not against this therapy. me having a negative experience with it is not indicative that i believe it should be abolished' #if it works for you: KEEP DOING IT. cbt is not inherently harmful for MANY people and it's a good and valuable tool for many #but the overemphasis of cbt as the Only Therapy Model You Need sends this message that YOU failed... #...if you don't miraculously recover with that therapy model. it often feels like you'll Fail Recovery/Therapy and you're now a Bad Person #i've tried for over a decade to stick out cbt with a dozen therapists to boot. so i think i know a thing or two about my experiences with it #and overall its an unimpressive model (for me) as someone whos had a history with abuse and miscellaneous mental knickknacks rattling around #it's also frustrating because i genuinely like psych and i love learning about people #it's just. i'm tired of only being exposed to cbt (because i hate it honestly) #i feel similarly about cbt as i do with sigmund fucking frued #anyway i just want other insane people (affectionate) to remember that they deserve to not beat themselves up over this #if you're an insane person reading this: i love you i love you i love you i love you #i will share a slice of cake and homemade bread with you <3