#Ask me about things you knew I wouldve been able to help with??? Do you remember what the purpose of this event is? Are you fucking serious?

[vaniliens]

I cannot let miscom win but it is so hard trying to come up with ways to communicate something with someone when that someone was supposed to be the one in charge of communicating it to you despite not saying Jack shit without trying to look like an asshole because youre kind of disappointed and you kind of come off as a know it all. Because. We. Didnt communicate. About it at all but somehow I know something she hasn't told me . which. Is what im mad about.

#DAYS without being disappointed in the way ive been treated: 0!!!!!! #nillas #vanili powder #Lets see how this goes #will i A.) Actually Leave this organization because this is my last straw (Again.) #or B.) Just forget about it #or c.)!!! Attempt to Forget about it only to have it resurface Later on!!! (AGAIN!!!) #Look im sorry but how was I not part of the planning process. youre telling me you set up what the competitions about all the sponsors and #THE GOD DAMN PROPOSAL without asking ME???? about ANYTHING???? After telling me and my one guy in my team that we dont have any meetings #about it to attend or Listen in to or anything for months????? #Who do you think made that idea??? you???? Did you make it and thought you shouldn't consult me? You knew about my skills and chose not to #Ask me about things you knew I wouldve been able to help with??? Do you remember what the purpose of this event is? Are you fucking serious? #Did you seriously just sideline US because of THEM are you fucking kidding me #all of this and she has never once told me a single thing about what was inside the proposal or the details of the event #Not even when i needed it for like a mock up trial we had to do to get this approved AND I WAS THE ONE BEING QUESTIONED #I ASKED HER FOR IT BECAUSE OF COURSE I DID AND SHE WAS ALL ''I'll Send you some questions and answers that you'll memorize for the trial'' #ARE YOU KIDDING ME. #MEMORIZE? #I CANT JUST READ THE WHOLE THING MYSELF? SEE WHAT YOU DID WITH MY IDEA ALONG WITH WHAT EVERYONE ELSE DID TO IT? #I DIDNT EVEN KNOW WHAT THE NAME WAS AND HOW TO PRONOUNCE IT UNTIL THE MOCK UP AND IT WAS IN ENGLISH #its just so weird and irritating how shes literally side lined us despite how [ORIGINALLY] it was supposed to promote our club #What the fuck do you mean im not even one of the main players on it. Im literally the head of the division thats hosting the event. #What the hell do you mean by making me (and everyone else) just. #ughhwhhahhahahh #will i use this as more fuel to quit another organization or will i just give up because this is the last one #& ik if i quit ill probably lose my few acquaintances in it

[hannieehaee]

content: husband!wonwoo, fluff, gender neutral reader, u guys are married, just a very tender night in bed shared with ur husband wonu (kill me), etc.

wc: 514

a/n: sorry this is so short T-T a cute night in his arms is the first thing that came to mind at the mention of husband wonwoo </3 god i want him so bad

masterlist

"do you remember the day i proposed?", he asked as he absentmindedly ran his hands up and down your back, holding you against his chest.

you were laying in bed together, dissecting each other's days as you allowed yourselves to relax after your respective grueling days. you matched his actions, allowing your hands to feel the warmth of his back as you dug them under his shirt, soft in your movements just like him.

you half snorted, "'remember'? it was only two years ago, nonu. i think about it all the time."

"yeah?", he smiled at this, repositioning you so that he could look into your eyes. he chuckled as you complained at the new distance, having been completely pressed up against him just moments ago.

"i was so nervous that day. i was terrified you were gonna say no," he revealed, shy smile adorning his face.

"really? why would i ever say no, nonu? you knew i was in love with you."

"yeah, but ... i dont know. never really imagined id get to marry the love of my life. i saw it in movies. i saw my parents, my grandparents. i saw people i knew. but i never thought it'd be me someday. it was only ever a dream. you made it a reality."

being married to wonwoo, you shouldve gotten used to his soft-spoken words by now. to the way he'd convey the sweetest of statements without even batting an eye. but you still found yourself affected by him, with your heart melting every time he unknowingly waxed poetic at you.

"nonu .. it was always a yes. you couldve asked me on day one and it wouldve been a yes."

"oh? you liked me that much?", now he was smirking, pulling you closer once again.

"shut up. you're hot, okay? i'm not stupid you're totally wife material."

"hah," he chuckled, "'wife?'"

"don't argue with me. you asked me to marry you."

he hummed, "yeah. and i'd do it again," he paused, "love waking up next to you every day. love holding you through the night even more. never knew how soundly i could sleep until i first held you in my arms."

there he was again. his words made you feel like you were floating, never being able to get used to the adoration he held for you. you couldnt help yourself when you wrapped yourself tighter around him, nuzzling your face into the warmth of the crook of his neck. he took the hint and held you even closer, making sure his arms trapped the entirety of you against him.

this had to be your favorite thing about being married to your husband. he'd loved and held you all throughout your relationship, but now that you were married, every time you were in his arms it felt like a promise. like he would keep you close to him no matter what happened.

"i love you."

"me more," he kissed the top of your head, chuckling at your whine in disagreement, "sleep, my love. let me hold you and never let go."

#seventeen fanfic #seventeen x reader #svt fanfic #seventeen #svt #svt x reader #seventeen imagine #seventeen oneshot #seventeen fluff #svt fluff #seventeen scenarios #svt scenarios #wonwoo fanfic #wonwoo imagines #wonwoo scenarios #wonwoo oneshot #wonwoo fluff #wonwoo x reader

[lorillee]

Hi how would you accomodate Obito's character to match, as you said, the fake ideal Kakashi has of him in his memory at the beginning of the series (if you want their relationship to go that way, which is 1000% more interesting than what the manga gave us) ? Like, if Kakashi has a fake idea of Obito in his head, Obito must have been at least something remotely heroic in the past, no ? Also, in this configuration do you think Adult Obito should be acknowledged as 100% Creepy in the story to contrast Kakashi's memories, and how ?

i fear that i may have opened a giant can of naruto discourse worms but since i actually have opinions on this i might as well share. its not really changing obito's character in any form its just genuinely how i read this relationship because thats the way it makes the most sense to me.

obito was genuinely just some kid who had a good heart but was a little annoying and wasnt terribly punctual or collected and was more than happy to mildly buck his responsibilities and the expectations people had of him to help people out which isnt inherently bad but also easily lends itself to endangering the mission/task at hand and as a result baby kakashi thought he was annoying and stupid and a spoiled brat who doesnt know what the real world looks like. they were literally not even anywhere close to friends until like the 5 minutes before obito epicly dies by which i mean. and this is like so so so tremendously important to understanding my view of this relationship. kakashi barely knew obito at all, and he didnt know him because up until those last 5 minutes he barely even respected him as a person and therefore had absolutely no vested interest in learning. this, combined with the fact that obito was . again. just some kid who was trying his best but wasnt like outstanding is absolutely crucial because its directly because of kakashi's growing insane survivors guilt complex that his perception of obito goes from "kid with a good heart who did the right thing when i did not" -> "paragon of justice and morality and everything that i am not".

like kakashi as a guy is somebody who very consistently takes far more responsibility for bad things that happen than is deserved - if kakashi and obito had gone to save rin earlier it literally would not have made a difference, but because kakashi knows he made the wrong decision in trying not to save her at first he blames himself for obito's death nonetheless. as rin dies by his own hand (both thereby being "his fault" + violating the deathbed promise he made to the last person he got killed) and then minato kicks the bucket not too long after, kakashi's survivors guilt complex balloons into something genuinely kind of deranged. like seriously kakashi really truly does hate himself so so so much and its a bit dire. he blames solely himself for things that are not entirely or even mostly his fault and at multiple points in the final arc literally talks about how prepared he is to die and when he's saved is caught entirely off-guard and immediately starts talking about how worthless he is (GUY WHO WANTS TO DIE SO BAD ITS CONCERNING) and asking why obito bothered moving kaguya's attack and when anybody ever tries to give him credit for the positive things he did contribute he immediately moves to give it to somebody else and minimize his own impact.

with this in mind you can kind of see what happened with obito - while kakashi is a tremendously skilled ninja on his own, it was the sharigan that ultimately became the centerpoint of his abilities - the sharigan that obito gave him. with this comes the ability to attribute all the good he's done for the village/people in it to obito while bolstering his already preconceived notion that it wasnt obito who shouldve died back then but him because if it were obito he wouldve been able to do everything that kakashi has done except he also has the added bonus of being fundamentally a better person who wouldve made the right choices who wouldve been a good leader who wouldve saved rin who wouldve saved everybody who was the one out of the two of them who truly understood sakumo's will and would have always always always succeeded where kakashi has failed time and time again but because hes dead because kakashi got him killed the best he can do is try. and he cant move on he cant ever move on because this eye of obitos is always always always there and he'll never be able to forgive himself because he's failed in every way he could have and would never deserve it. by the time the main series rolls around obito really isnt a person in kakashis mind but a very prominent focal point to project his insane deranged guilt complex onto and then feel miserable about because he has serious mental issues. like its truly not about obito as the guy he actually was because kakashi barely even knew him at all, its that because so so so many of kakashi's biggest achievements and regrets in life are tied back to obito's death its just entirely inescapable and especially so for somebody as riddled with guilt and self-hatred and responsibility as kakashi.

like people like to pretend this relationship is romantic but if im being honest. that is objectively 1)stupid but also more importantly 2) BORINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG ITS SO BORING ITS SO BORINGGGGGGGGG when your other option is kakashis deranged mental scape projection bag turning out to be an actual real person who shouldnt have been put on this massive pedastal, causing kakashis entire life and meaning up to this point to come crumbling down because it turns out obito's been spiraling off the path that kakashi has been obsessing over for years except in the end this too is kakashis fault because its always kakashis fault and worse yet its not even him who convinces obito to turn around because no matter how hard kakashi tries he'll never ever ever ever be good enough he'll never be able to fix his mistakes he'll never be able to be forgiven and he'll never be able to forgive himself.

also side note while i find obito's fixation on rin to be insanely annoying and notably weird and definitely in poor taste, intentionally making it creepy is doing nobody ANY favors and i would decidedly not want that in any direction. the contrasts between what kakashi remembers and what obito has turned into have to do with selflessness and maturity and the consistent choice to do the right thing into assisting in the murder of thousands of people for an incredibly childish and selfish pipe dream - imo intentionally focusing on how its frankly a bit weird for a guy pushing 30 to still be hung up on a girl he knew when he was 12 is detracting from the main point and serves no narrative purpose and what id much rather do instead is chop the romantic beat entirely because that would do wonders for his entire character in making him at the very least less annoying.

also also the way this ask is worded is a bit weird imo like its not like obito started out being a terrible person and if he was all along then itd kind of suck and also defeat like 100% of the point. like i would definitely say throwing yourself into a pack of overwhelming enemies to save a friend falls into the heroic category, and, while him giving kakashi the eyeball is absolutely horrifying and appalling and 57 different levels of messed up, from kakashi's pov<- authors note interruption: originally i was typing this up in the tags but then it became too long i have to give my opinion on the eyeball scene. i have to. we're side tangenting here but okay like because the thing about naruto the series and kishimoto and their respective politics is theyre kind of at odds with each other and a solid 50% of the things kishimoto says in naruto i think he like doesnt actually agree with or is alternatively too scared to commit to so im not really sure how exactly we're supposed to interpret obito giving kakashi his eye. and im aware to some extent that the shippers are like omg….. sooooo romantic while throwing on the veneer of omg child soldiers…. so horrible……. <- purely for the ~angst~ factor but. My Opinion. and we're back at it again with the mildly edited "discord messages from when i was watching" copy-pasting:

frankly imo if you make the focus of this scene on literally anything other than how horrifying the system is 1) you kind of suck and 2) youre tremendously dumb. because like there are so many tremendously bad implications going on here between the fact that kakashi who is clearly 13-14 max despite what his voice will have you believe is a JONIN without ANY of the necessary leadership or experience skills was sent with two other twelve year olds on their own with NO adult supervision (!!) on a mission to blow up a bridge in the middle of a war (!!!) and that when one of them got half crushed by a rock his only thought was to get one of the other children to TAKE OUT HIS EYEBALL WHILE HE WAS STILL CONSCIOUS (!!!!!!!) AND STICK IT INTO ANOTHER CHILD’S EYESOCKET (!!!!!!!!!!) WHICH STILL CURRENTLY HAS AN EYEBALL IN IT EVEN IF ITS NO LONGER FUNCTIONING MEANING SHE WILL HAVE TO GRUESOMELY SCOOP OUT THE REMAINS BEFORE SHE CAN PUT THE OTHER GUYS EYEBALL IN IT (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) AND NONE OF THE CHILDREN INVOLVED HAVE ANY PROBLEMS WITH THIS (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) this is NOT romantic this is horrifying the fact that a child had to do an EYEBALL TRANSPLANT on TWO CONSCIOUS PATIENTS in a BATTLE FIELD because konoha lost a sufficient amount of adults that they decided that in order to win the war they were okay with putting CHILDREN in horrifying situations and nobody DID anything about it !!!!!!!!!!!!! and the fact that these children are so completely desensitized to this idea that again obitos first thought is "yeah here let me give you my eyeball so you can fight" IS SERIOUSLY SO BAD LIKE HELLO.HELLO. HELLO?!??!?!?!?!?!?! THE KONOHA WAR MACHINE SITUATION IS DIRE.

^in the whole context of this i was complaining about shippers but the same sort of sentiment still applies to glorifying this in any manner. like as an outsider looking into this fictional world i can very easily go "wow! this is horrifying! this is not heroic this is tremendously messed up and a society that has allowed this to happen needs to kind of be razed to the ground."HOWEVER. this does not mean that kakashi himself does not see this as something indescribably heroic and in fact he would have an incredibly hard time seeing it otherwise given The Mental Illness and also his entire childhood and way of life from birth. like if we're being honest im always thinking about the scene where iruka and kakashi are arguing over whether or not team 7 is prepared to take the chunin exam because iruka rightly points out that theyre very young and inexperienced with the implication that given people older than them have literally actually died in these exams they really should not be doing this and kakashi responds that he was six years younger than naruto when he became a chunin as a justification and its just so insanely illuminating to his perspective on a lot of this because its been so insanely twisted by having literally grown up on the battlefield and then after that joining anbu bc from his perspective theyre twice as old as he was with the added bonus of it being peacetime so its literally fine even though for the viewers it is decidedly not.

and like in some instances he does recognize how badly the ninja system has screwed over everybody personally (see: when sasuke fights all of them after killing danzo and kakashi notes that sasuke is absolutely a product of his environment) but in other cases hes just so completely blinded by having been intrenched in war and child soldiering from birth that its very very hard to be able to take a step back and look at it objectively (and especially for somebody like kakashi who if he genuinely acknowledged this might also have to confront the fact that if child soldiers absolutely 100000% should not exist in any situation ever several of the things he blames himself most for in his past would really not be much of his fault as the adults who put him in those situations in the first place. which he would rather kill himself than do). also real quick id like to take a moment to share this parallel because it SERIOUSLY makes me deranged IM OBSESSED WITH ITTTTTTTT

^ and added commentary from cartoonrival who put anything i couldve said about this into a single line

so while as viewers we ought to think the entire eyeball scene is genuinely horrifying and, in the words of my dear friend goosewhisker, "a commentary on how [the ninja] system feeds on the corpses of the people who protect it", kakashi absolutely views this as something to be aspired to and incredibly heroic because hes messed up in the head a bit as a result of growing up under the konoha war machine and if you were to go "well actually obito sucked all along" it would literally only be undermining the point the story is trying to make imo. anyways this has gotten severely derailed but this is has been my thesis on kakashis relationship with/at obito and if youve stuck around this long.well thank you for reading

#ask #anon #lorillee.txt #hatake kakashi #2.2 thousand words.......... sorryeverybody. but you know how it is with me and kakashi #and also obito but in an incredibly negative direction #it is nice to have extensive thoughts again though #this is why i need to get into more ''insanely written but compelling despite itself'' media

[kitten-of-change]

Change

Lane ended the call. She stared at the rotomphone. circuit. her child. She wondered what the point of all of this was. She got her answers. She saw the truth. She knew who she was.

So why didnt she feel happy?

Why wasnt she satisfied?

Circuit had been recording them through the journey. They hacked into the lab's security cameras, which meant that team rocket would have no proof of what happened, no way to track her.

She was safe.

So why did she feel so scared. Why was she shaking?

The Rotom said nothing. Tt didnt exactly know what to say. How to help beyond doing what it's mother had asked and calling Dominic to pick them up.

Lane wept

She knew that circuit recorded everything, so she decided to get her words out now.

"What was the point of this?"

"Why did i want to know this?"

"What did i get from this?"

No one answered.

Lane curled up into herself as she waited for her mate to come and pick her and her child up. So she could go back with gen and the others, so she could forget about this and still be who she is.

Who she was.

But who was she kidding? There's no coming back from this.

Dominic came eventually, as did the night, and with it, the fatigue. Lane barely said a word, she hadnt slept in days, and the strain of using her powers to block her emotions had caught up. Thankfully, Dominic was as reliable as always. he brought two pokeballs, so that Lane and circuit could fly safely.

...but even that felt odd, given the new context.

Lane didnt object, its not like she had the energy to say much besides a simple "thank you", at the fact Dominic chose a love ball for lane. Dominic caught Circuit first, and then Lane, before he flew away.

It was the first time lane was in a pokeball. it wasnt as bad as she thought it would be. it was comfortable, and warm, and nice. She quickly drifted off and slept through the night, as the manaphy carrying her flew back to their home.

Hours passed. And Lane heard a voice

Was it a voice? or was it more of... a call?

Either way, Lane didnt want none of it, especially knowing which direction it was coming from.

"Please. Lane"

.....she couldnt help herself

She let whatever wanted to talk speak to her

...Suddenly, she awoke, in a clearing inside a cave. Moss and grass grew on the ground around the small pond at the center, as vines and leaves filled the walls, a giant opening on what would've been the ceiling letting the light from the stars through.

Lane wouldve been freaked out, after all, why was she suddenly transported here?

But she knew that she wasnt... really here. She wasnt breathing, she didnt feel the air against her skin, and she couldnt taste the dryness of her lips from the days she'd gone without drinking water.

"it's a projection" said a voice

Lane looked around. the voice felt as though it came from all directions, yet none at once. psychic speech, clearly.

"You made your consciousness reach this place while your body remains inside your pokeball. For a first timer, i'm impressed"

The voice was masculine, with a strength and wisdom to it. But also a great pain.

"Will you show yourself already? I was having a pretty good sleep you know?"

"And yet you came. Why?"

Lane didnt know how to answer that. Did Lane even have an answer?

Maybe she was here looking for further answers, despite what she'd already seen. Maybe she was looking for closure. Maybe she just wanted to take her mind of things, despite how clear it was that this place was in kanto

"....you asked nicely. I felt like i had to"

Upon saying those words, the air crackled for an instant so small that most creatures wouldnt be able to notice it. and then he stood in front of Lane

"That's not a particularly good reason. But I did call you, and you did answer," Said mewtwo. "so let's have a talk, won't we?"

"So you're mewtwo?" Lane asked

"Why, yes, that is the case" Mewtwo responded

"Why did you wake me up? What do you want from me?" Lane asked

Mewtwo did not respond for a few seconds. It was clear he was gathering his thoughts. He seemed.... nervous. it was uncanny, in a way. From everyhting she had heard of mewtwo, even if it was not much, he was always calm, collected, and calculated. he was supposedly so strong he could rival some of the strongest pokemon

But he seemed to be... weirdly shy at the moment.

"I wanted to meet you, Lane Taranz. You are the closest thing remaining that i could consider family. I do not want to subjugate you to any more pain than you have suffered already, so you may leave if you so desire... if you choose to stay... i think i can help offer some explanations in exchange for your company"

Lane was genuinly taken aback at this. What she had seen earlier in the day (or was it yesterday?) had been far more disturbing no doubt. But this was just weird. Mewtwo, the legendary pokemon, was asking for Lane's company, right after calling her family.

She could walk away. Go back to dominic now and stop thinking about all of this. From what mewtwo said, if she chose that, he wouldnt blame her. But... there was a sadness to mewtwo that Lane couldn't quite explain

"I'll stay" She said, before she let herself think more.

"Thank you, Lane"

Lane couldnt breathe, but yet she still sighed. She needed to ask the questions now, before the akwardness grew to a point that she couldnt even keep eye contact

"What do you know that i dont?" Lane asked first

Mewtwo responded "You need to be more specific than that. I cant quite read the mind of such an advanced species you know?"

Lane grunted in annoyance. Or well, she tried to grunt, but she wasnt sure if she had made any sound like this. She left those thoughts, they weren't important.

"....Why was i made? why did team rocket make me?"

Mewtwo looked at lane with sorrow.

"Me and you are part of the same experiement. 18 years ago, a subdivision of team rocket was tasked with finding a way to mass produce extremely powerful pokemon quickly, so that with their power, team rocket could rule over the world"

Lane looked down. She had her fears confirmed. Not human. And not a mew. She was less than all that. She was a weapon

"How did they make us?"

Mewtwo clenched his fist

"They found the scientific paper. The one you read at the base. It had an approximation of what mew's genome, what its DNA could've looked like. They used that data to reconstruct a mew from the ground up. That was me. Mewtwo"

Lane knew that wasnt the full story. And mewtwo did not keep her waiting

He sighed, before finally responding: "18 years ago, a while after i was created, an expedition team found something in the jungles of kanto. It was a fossilized eyelash, from a mew that lived thousands of years ago. After this, team rocket had a way to truly clone mew. And that is how they made you, Lane"

.....still. not the full story. But mewtwo didnt keep going.

Lane would have to push him

"What about my mom? where does she come into this?" Lane asked, against her better judgement.

Mewtwo clearly did not want to answer. There was a pain in his soul, as visible to physical eyes, as it was to the nonexistent projection of Lane standing before him.

"The cloning chambers they had... they could not support a mew embryo.... They never found out why. But they did come up with an alternative. Your mother was that alternative. A surrogate"

A part of Lane already knew, in a way.

A part of Lane was hurt.

A part of Lane wanted to know why, to just turn into celebi, go back and ask her mother why, why she did this, why she chose this.

The tears flowed through her face after all that she'd heard. She didnt know how she could cry if she was a mere apparition. But at this point, she'd seen so much... that this was nothing.

Lane looked at mewtwo, at the reminder of her past, and she felt angry, tired, sad

"Why!!!? why did i have to be born!!!?!?" Lane screamed

Mewtwo flew back a few steps, startled.

"Why couldn't i have just been normal?!?! WHY COULDNT I HAVE JUST BEEN HUMAN!??!

WHY COULDNT I HAVE LIVED MY LIFE AS A MEW?!

WHY.... why... why am i here? why was i made, born, raised...

was i just meant to be a weapon? was i.... was i just meant to never be born at all, and to be a mere test?"

Lane curled on herself in the air

"Why couldn't i have never been born?"

Lane cried. wept for the lives she couldve had, the lives she never had. The life of that mew from eons long gone. Her life that she had lived, but that was now unmade and twisted in favor of her.

And then.... mewtwo hugged Lane

Lane didnt know how to react. What to react to, be it either the action of the hug, what it meant. or the fact it felt so real. The fact that his fur was up against her skin, and how comforting it felt.

"Lane. i know how much it must hurt to be in your situation. to feel as though you were doomed from birth, to feel as though whatever you choose to do, you will never be capable of achieving it.

But i want you to know that... your past does not define you. What your mother chose to bear, what the scientists chose to do, what the explores chose to find... none of that concers you, right now.

I want you to know, that whatever team rocket may have gathered from the research, whatever they did... whatever they are doing... it isnt your fault, and whatever led to your existance, is also not your fault"

He hugged tighter, as he said this.

"A wise mew once told me. That the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. and it is what we choose to do with the gift of life that makes us who we are

So choose. Lane Kattius. Lane Taranz

Lane the mew"

Lane didnt know what to say. what to do. She thought about everyhting that led her to this point. How she became a mew one day, with no warning, despite being one all along. how she made a rotomblr, how she met many others like her, how she accepted her womanhood, how she found a home. How she found love.

She thought about all of her choices.

She knew that so much wasn't in her control... but now she wasn't too mad about that. Because if her life had changed for the better, it was because of what she chose.

She chose. And she changed.

"Mewtwo.... in goldenrod city, there is a house where the eebies live. Please... please visit me" She pleaded. "Please come live with us... its the least i can do to repay you..." Lane said

Mewtwo felt gratitude, even if he wasnt sure the logistics would work out

"Thank you for the offer Lane, i will consider it. And i want you to know, before you wake, that uour mother really did love you"

Lane smiled, as she felt herself waking up.

"Now choose Lane. choose to make a change"

Lane giggled

"Of course. What else would i do?"

"Im the kitten of change after all" Lane said

And with that, she went back into the arms of her lovers. Opening her eyes to see elisa floating right in front of her, the celebi's eyes watery from the crying.

She hugged the mew without a second to spare

"I missed you, you dork" Elisa said

"...missed you too, Elisa" Lane said

And in this moment, future unknown and past remembered

Lane was happy that she was born.

OOC down below

Thank you. For sticking with me through the months and these 1000 posts.

From the bottom of my heart. Thank you.

#pkmn irl #kittenofchange #irl pkmn #mew pokemon #pokeblogging #pokemon irl #less than a mew arc #mewtwo #//ANNNDDDD CUT #arc end

[souryogurt64]

the essay!!!! i read that shit instead of studying for my exam so if i fail it is your fault miss yogurt (kidding). i am continuously amazed at your abilities and your perfectly dry-but-witty journalistic style that i am ohsoinlove with. reading the sentence “(Also unsurprisingly, Gray is about gaslighting a girl until she dies.)” took me out lma. ! i love all of ur writing, tho i am obviously biased since it’s on topics that interest me - however, the amount of work and dedication that you are able to designate not only to a complex split of a band, but also personal relationships, biographies, lyrical and prose analysis is astounding! anyway,,,, i guess i just want to thank u !

thank you this message is really genuine and sweet <333 i re-used that joke from the gray dissertation lol

Tbh i was not happy with a lot of parts of this one. Sorry to rant about this appended to your ask specifically <3

mainly I think i shot myself in the foot with the way i structured the last one where i covered the moment panic got signed in excruciating detail and then rushed through 10-15 years really fast. at the time i did not think these were that serious or were going to reach as far as they ended up reaching and it was just like for my tumblr followers so i knew it was like a bad idea but i was just like "whatever!!!!"

anyway that made the beginning really rough because i didnt really have a set place to start. the first like 5 pages were also completely different too which didnt help

Also about 70% of the way through i realized it was really weird that i didnt give brendon any kind of dramatic introduction. I had so much fun writing the dramatic introductions they got a lot longer than when i outlined the essay which made that even more noticeable

But honestly, writing this and watching so many presplit panic interviews i actually started liking brendon a lot more and remembered why people used to love him and i knew whatever i wouldve said would have been things people didnt really want to read, so instead he just got his villain monologue at the end

It was also kind of weird that i didnt introduce spencer or jon at all but i figure anyone reading a 50 page essay about panic at the disco already knows who these people are anyway so i just had 2 move on

Also i was not very happy with the verlaine section, i felt like it was a lot of very dense information to synthesize and like also I didn't want to over explain it and be accused of being like a gay truther but like im sorry. its not even gay truthing its just gay by virtue of existing so i feel like i under explained it

Other parts too. However my research capabilities are absolutely unmatched and i do think im funny. im not sure if most other people think im funny but i sure think i am <3

[victors-only-dummy]

Husband Victor

Pairing : VICTOR x DUMMY [You]

'do you remember the day i proposed?', he asked as he absentmindedly ran his hands up and down your back, holding you against his chest.

you were laying in bed together, dissecting each other's days as you allowed yourselves to relax after your respective grueling days. you matched his actions, allowing your hands to feel the warmth of his back as you dug them under his shirt, soft in your movements just like him.

you half snorted, ''remember'? it was only two years ago, dummy. i think about it all the time.'

'yeah?', he smiled at this, repositioning you so that he could look into your eyes. he chuckled as you complained at the new distance, having been completely pressed up against him just moments ago.

'i was so nervous that day. i was terrified you were gonna say no', he revealed, shy smile adorning his face.

'really? why would i ever say no, dummy? you knew i was in love with you.'

'yeah, but ... i dont know. never really imagined id get to marry the love of my life. i saw it in movies. i saw my parents, my grandparents. i saw people i knew. but i never thought it'd be me someday. it was only ever a dream. you made it a reality.'

being married to Victor, you shouldve gotten used to his soft-spoken words by now. to the way he'd convey the sweetest of statements without even batting an eye. but you still found yourself affected by him, with your heart melting every time he unknowingly waxed poetic at you.

'Dummy .. it was always a yes. you couldve asked me on day one and it wouldve been a yes.'

'oh? you liked me that much?', now he was smirking, pulling you closer once again.

'shut up. you're hot, okay? i'm not stupid you're totally wife material.'

'hah', he chuckled, 'wife?'

'don't argue with me. you asked me to marry you.' 

he hummed, 'yeah. and i'd do it again', he paused, 'love waking up next to you every day. love holding you through the night even more. never knew how soundly i could sleep until i first held you in my arms.'

there he was again. his words made you feel like you were floating, never being able to get used to the adoration he held for you. you couldnt help yourself when you wrapped yourself tighter around him, nuzzling your face into the warmth of the crook of his neck. he took the hint and held you even closer, making sure his arms trapped the entirety of you against him.

this had to be your favorite thing about being married to your husband. he'd loved and held you all throughout your relationship, but now that you were married, every time you were in his arms it felt like a promise. like he would keep you close to him no matter what happened.

'i love you.'

'me more,' he kissed the top of your head, chuckling at your whine in disagreement, 'sleep, my love. let me hold you and never let go.'

#love victor #mr love li zeyan #i love him #li zeyan #mlqc victor

[away-ward]

Did you notice the conversation that the horsemen had in that Lolita class in high school perfectky describe their characterisation.

Michael thought the teacher, Lumbert loved Lolita, when in fact, Lumbert groomed Lolita. Now what have Michael been doing to Rika since she was born? Grooming her as a show of his "love"! Especially after that snippet in Corrupt's epilogue. (Michael grew up always being denied what he wants, and he felt restricted with his options, so he always made sure to go against everything he thought was "rules" to him.)

Kai thought its was abuse and it wasnt on the fault on the girl to be responsible of the situation. And how did he responded to Banks' love with Damon? Yep, he called them out because their co-dependency was borderline abusive and weird as fuck. (Kai grew up to a good home but his father was strict with him, from his choice of friends, manners, education, etc. and Katsu didnt like Gabriel and Damon. AT ALL lmao.)

Damon said "abuse felt like love" because of his relationship with Natalya and Gabriel. Gabriel grape Natalya and Natalya grape Damon. It's a cycle. So Damon's response was like how he felt being Lolita instead of looking at the situation in a birds eye view. The difference between Lolita and Damon though, Damon kept on excusing his problematic behaviour and inflict those similar pain towards innocents, especially the ones he loved most like Banks, Will and Winter.

Will said something like "why did Lolita still went back to hop on Lumbert's dick and not speak up then" and this solidifies Will's characterisation of making things about himself (because he always felt like nobody would choose him) instead of putting himself in Lolita's shoes. And look at the way he responded to Emmy's abuse, it was always "why did she never told me about anything", "you couldve told me and my parents wouldve yada yada yada", instead of just being there for her after he found out something weird about her situation. He was insensitive about the whole situation, not because he was naive or thought the world was good, but because his character was selfish and unkind first before he was anything else. At that age of 17, only a person who's so unkind and selfish would ever say something like that. Mind you, i never went through what lolita, emmy and damon went through, but i cannot ever imagine go so far as being insesitive like that to people, even at the age of 14. It was too much. Will's response, even at worst, shouldve been like Kai. There was no excuse for him here.

I think the Lolita class conversation was very interesting, but it was never really brought up much. It perfectly shows us how, even if the horsemen would help emmy then if she asked, they most likely wont halp her the way she needed to be help, patiently, kindly, and sincerely. They just werent ready for this conversation yet, if not, Damon wouldnt have kept his problem to himself and thought nobody woukd help him with everything, no? Thats why this story was never as easy as just "opening uo to people". The people that they open up to, should be on the same wavelength as them, because then, they would be like Corrupt Michael who just shouted at Rika when they found out about Miles Anderson. Even if Damon who had spent his youth wth the horsemen cant ever fully open up to his friends about his home situation, why would Emmy, a stranger to them was able to open up to the horsemen too.

And as much as Emmy knew about Banks, and even though we never git much Emory Banks in the past or presence, i was glad that this story didnt took the ridiculous route of an 18 year old girl suddenly manage to defy patriarchy and high profile men and criminals to save a girl her age in a well restricted mansion. Like think about the security, their financial situation, Banks education... the logistics of having another live in your life after saving them... crazy. I like that PD didnt do some Wonder Woman shit with their storyline, because i dont think its possible.

What do you think about these?

I did notice that! But I haven’t been able to put it into words like this. Thank you!!!

I wouldn’t say Will was selfish and unkind in his response though. Not to disregard your opinion, but the way I see it, he wasn’t intending to be insensitive. He was just privileged enough to be ignorant of what abuse can look like and how it can make a person feel. He needed to have his eyes opened to reality. But Will’s always had autonomy, so it makes sense to me that he wouldn’t necessarily understand how someone who appears to have free will would choose to stay in a bad situation. The key word being “appears.”

If he understood the reality of how abuse can make a person feel, how autonomy can be stripped away from a person even though it doesn’t appear that way, and he still called them weak and blamed them for their situation, that would be a different situation for me. I’d be more inclined to agree with you. And this isn’t to say that I think Will handled everything in the correct or right way, but people grow and mature at different rates and a big part of Will’s story is how he resisted growing up and accepting reality for so long. Understanding and sympathizing with an abuse victim takes maturity, which he really didn't have at the time.

Whether his ignorance was intentionally turning a blind eye to the obvious, or a byproduct of his privilege is up to the individual, I guess. I choose to think it was a byproduct.

I haven’t thought about why they were discussing Lolita, other than it was a quick way to bring up abuse and for Damon to get in that quotable line. But what I took from it was that none of these kids, save for Damon, were really thinking something like that could be happening to in their midst.

I still think Damon would have kept everything to himself. I don’t know if it’s pride, or shame, or him just being messed up, but I have no doubt that even if he were sure that his friends could and would help him and not judge him, he would have kept that to himself as long as he could.

The horsemen get mad when they see what they perceive to be injustice. They don’t think about why they think that way, just that they feel angry because they saw or heard something they didn’t like. And that’s part of the problem throughout the series: they reaction to things, and not always with thoughtfulness. And we can disagree with how they react – their actions – but not always why they’re upset.

Of course, they’re mad about Anderson. They think he’s scum to begin with, and now they know he’s attacking women. They don’t like men attacking women, so now they’re mad. It’s as simple as that for them. As a reader, removed from the narrative, we know it’s stupid that they yelled at Rika. But their reason for being mad is valid.

And it goes on like that. They learn of a situation, they react, and then they think. So, I don’t think Damon was worried about their reaction – even if they didn’t understand, they would have been of his side. I truly think this was a pride thing. Or Damon being Damon. He likes his secrets.

With Emmy, obviously it makes sense to us that she wouldn’t open up to them. She has no reason to rely on them for anything. She’s been so alone for years, and they certainly aren’t her friends. But from their perspective, obviously they wouldn’t have let the abuse continue if they’d known about it. Does she think they’re heathens????

easy answer: “yes, you idiots, because you haven’t shown anything different,” but they don’t know that.

Oh yeah, when Damon told Emory about Banks my first reaction was “why? What is she gonna do? You already know that Emory is barely handling her own situation, why are you trying to add to it?” And didn’t Banks have people in the house and a mom she can turn to in truly desperate situations? Like, I know she never went to high school, but she’s been doing his homework and we know she isn’t dumb. But Damon is Damon and like the rest of them, his reactions aren’t usually the most logical.  

Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I really enjoyed reading them.

#asked and answered #devil's night series stuff #the horsemen of devil's night #will grayson iii #asked and answered 62

[rafes-girl4ever]

All too well

 !smut!  minors dni  :   you had met bucky along time ago at a bar he smelt like whiskey and cigars you were sitting next to him on the bar stool “you here drowning your sorrows?”  he asked you in a bleak tone “pretty much” you replied trying not to cry , your boyfriend just left you and your family had left you everyone you cared about left what  were you going to do? , “whys that”  “my boyfriend left and so did m-my family” you sobbed trying to hide your face from the winter soilder, bucky barnes, he had no idea what to do “i-i umm , im sorry pls dont cry , it will be alright”   “i-im sorry , its james barnes right ?” “my names y/n”    he nodded and said  with a smirk “you can call me bucky, and by the way y/n is a cute name “ you looked at him and wiped your tears “mkk bucky it is” and you took another shot , it was now 20 mins later  “whoah dont you think you should slow down there doll”   “not a chance” you said breaking down again “whats  wrong sweets”    “he called me up again just to break me like a promise, he said if we had been closer in age  maybe that wouldve been fine and that made me wanna die bucky” you sobbed into his chest holding his shirt so tight , god why were u telling some man everything while u were drunk  but  supprisingly  bucky hugged you back   stroking  your hair and rubbing your back while he whispered “its gonna be ok i promise you doll “  “you promise bucky” you slurred  “i promise you doll ,now lets get you in my car and tell me the way to your house so we can get you into bed and ill leave once your in bed and cleaned up “   “ok Mr bucky you may take me home” you giggled . he took you outside but you were stumbling and he knew you wouldnt be able to make it to his car on foot so he lifted you until you both reached the car he gently slid you into the passanger seat  “y/n tell me where you live sweetheart” “16th avenue 718 bucky” you giggled “ok y/n sweetie we will be home soon.

1 hour later bucky made sure u got dressed in a oversized tee [he waited in the other room ] once you got yourself dressed you hear bucky re enter “hey y/n let me tuck you in and then ill leave” “no buck”  “what do mean no buck?” “p-please stay with me buck” you said with a pouty face “y/n idk” “please buck i promise ill keep a distance from you in bed “pleassseeeee”   “fineeeee” bucky grumbled  even tho deep down the idea of this was giving him butterflys, he moved the cover and got in beside you once his shoes and t shirt were off and he was left only in his boxers “are you sure this is ok y/n” “im positive buck” he grumbled and continued getting underneath the covers, soo after you began snuggling him in your sleep  , he was ok with it so he put his arms around you. “BUCKY” you moaned in your sleep , wtf did she  just moan my name bucky thought , nah i must be imagining things but then you did it again “oh bucky” you moaned , “oh god “ bucky grumbled trying to not get hard , he was trying so hard to try and not get horny  but he couldnt help it , he wouldnt do anything anything  without your consent so he picked the next best option. he got outta bed quietly a nd went to the on sweet bathroom in your room and closed the door and started rubbing his cock the memory of you moaning his name in your sleep had him so hard , he was almost finished when he heard a knock at the door  “b-bucky are you ok?” you whispered , he didnt know what to do he was still hard  “im fine y/n i promise , why dont u go to bed” he said “i cant sleep , im coming into the bathroom” you said but before bucky could awnser you burst in  “i- y/n im sorry it just you were moaning in your sleep i- im sorry you had to see me like this” you were shocked but you felt yourself growing wet “i- its ok buck rlly i umm can help you if u want” bucks jaw dropped “ rlly y/n you dont have to” “no buck i really want to” you got on your knees and look up at him and he nodded letting you know its ok , you pumped his big veiny cock in your hand twice and began licking his tip  “h-holy fuck y/n your doing so good , good girl” he said while using his hand to make a makeshift ponytail with your hair to make it easier for you “mhhh” you mumbled sending vibrations making his cock feel so good he threw his head back “omg y/n im so close” you started sucking faster “ugghhhh” he  moaned as he came “how`d  id do buck”  you asked “oh you did soo good princess but now its  your turn for pleasure” he then picked you up off of the floor and gently placed you on the counter and then he began to kneel down and take of your underwear “p-please buck please” bucky  let out a small chuckle “please what y/n” “please touch me bucky” bucky without warning shoved his fingers into your dripping. cunt “holy fuck bucky” you screamed grabbing his hair “holy hell princess, you gonna cum?” bucky asked “MHhh buck,im gonna cu-” bucky pulled his fingers out and licked them “sorry princess you cant cum yet “but” you squeaked “no buts honey i want you to cum on my dick not my fingers go it “ you nodded “ words princess “i got it buck” thats when bucky took his  cock out of his pants, holy shit bucky was huge like really big , “holy shit buck hows that gonna fit” you whimpered “ill make it fit baby” he said in a low tone “buck pls put it in me no-” before u could finish he put his long thick cock in your wet cunt “omg holy fuck Y/n your so wet” bucky groaned  “mhh bucky pls move” bucky then started moving in and out of you and he started rubbing your clit, you began to feel a familiar knot build up inside “holy hell buck i think ima cum” you whimpered “holy shit doll do you think you can hold it ima finish in just a sec i can feel it baby” “mkk buck just hurry up please” bucky began pounding into you harder to the point where your nails were digging into his back so hard there would for sure  be marks afterwards. you began to see white as your eyes rolled back into your head  “you boutta cum baby” buck asked as his orgasm began to hit and you could feel  strings of his cum stuff your sore cunt just as you began too cum to “holy fuck y/n your suck a good girl” “mhh your the best buck” you mumbled coming down from your high, it was now 30 mins later and you and bucky where both huggled next to eachother fast asleep you were gonna rember this all too well in the morning thats for sure .         all reblogs , comments and likes are appreciated <3

#bucky x y/n #bucky smut #james barnes #marvel #smut

[poolofthoughtsbyclaire]

03/31 ENTRY: tuning in

Last 2 days were hell! Ive been sleeping late, waking up late, barely moved, and cried my eyeballs out. It was so fucking stressful. I cant even remember what triggered my anxiety but yesterday was definitely because of my mother. I greeted her good morning like I usually do and even told her sorry for texting her late in the morning. I told her I didnt get enough sleep that night because I was up until 2am. She then asked if I was anxious because I dont have a job right now. And I told her no. Because that is the truth. I didnt sleep we not because I dont have a job but because of someone. OH NOW I REMEMBER! I had flashbacks the first night of my sleepless nights. I remembered the good things again and just like a strike of a lightning, memories of me hurting her, cheating on her and shouting at her came and drowned me. I hate it when I get flashbacks. So, I simply told her that the reason behind my sleeplessness is also the reason why I needed to resign and take a break. She jokingly added “Just go home then” and I just needed to be honest with her so I told her “Also the reason why I wont go home”. My hometown is full of memories, dark memories to be exact. And at times, I felt like its suffocating to be there. You’ll never know who you’ll bump into. GenSan is a small town and almost all of the population there knew each other and I dont want that. Especially seeing those people who worked with my mom. I dont like seeing their faces. I hate it when they talk so nicely to me but when I turn my back, they speak bad things about me and I just kept remembering that day when someone messaged my mom and just told every secret I had. Tattoos, drinking, smoking, kissing girlfriends. That anon even knew my tattoo placements. It was creepy and that messaged spread all across all branches of ****bank. I will never forget that.

My mom asked if I could share with her the reason and I know that she wouldnt understand so I just told her “When the time is right maybe I’ll be able to tell you.”. And she literally said that if I know that it would kill her then no. And that I should wait after her death like WHAT THE FUVK?! I hate her for saying that. And the emotions I felt just rushed through my veins and I my tears started to fell down my cheeks. I suddenly couldnt breathe. The thought that my own mother wouldnt even try to understand me fucking hurts like hell that it felt like she’s sucking the air out of my lungs killing me. IT MTHERFUVKING HURTS.

But someday, I hope that I’ll be able to tell her this:

“You know what keeps hurting me ma? Because I couldnt forgive myself. I cant find the light to forgive myself for what I have done. I feel miserable. I feel guilt. If I hadnt let myself be manipulated by you then maybe I wouldnt feel this way today. Maybe if I had just listened to my heart, maybe none of these traumas will be present today. I kept breaking up with her out of the blue telling her that I need to choose my family. And it didnt happened just once, I broke up with her hundred of times. Imagine the trauma I gave to her. Until the day that I became possessive of her. I cheated so I could get her attention, I cheated couple of times and most of time, she catches me red-handed. I started shouting at her mean things that I know scarred her for life. I broke her into pieces and every time we get back together, it isnt just the same anymore until we got toxic. And it was all because of me. If I hadnt let you get into my conscience none of these wouldve happened. We had flaws but we never meant to hurt each other. Dagdagan pa ng fact na, glg relationships back then were not yet open for everyone to understand so we had a hard time adjusting just not to hurt each other’s feelings. I kept on breaking up with her then get back to her for the reason “Im choosing my family.”. I know it’s supposed to do me good but look what happened? And I just couldnt help thinking if it went the other way around maybe we’re still happy together. Maybe I didnt had these much tattoos. Maybe I never tried smoking. Maybe I never got wasted. Maybe I didnt let some strangers touch/kiss me. Maybe I wouldnt be this empty. Maybe I/we wouldve been happier. Healthier even. And if our relationship back then never worked, maybe I wouldnt be the same person that I am today. Maybe Id be different today and I wouldnt be feeling all of these things right now. I’m sad ma. I really loved her and I couldnt believe and forgive myself for hurting her. And over the years that we werent together anymore, I just know that my connection to her never vanished. I can still feel my deep connection with her. I may have forgotten about her for a period of time but every piece of her in me is buried deep inside my heart without even me realizing it. I thought if I’ll be able to tell you this, I can slowly see the light to get out f this trap-hole. I wanted my inner self to let you know what you caused me and stop gaslighting me for being gay. There are just days you make me want to kill myself. But I accepted you for who you are. I accepted the fact that you’re homophobic. Im sorry if I disappointed you but Im disappointed with you too.”.”

Im so tired y’all. All these thoughts I carried with me through the years. I hope by letting it all out here in Tumblr will make difference.

#personal #somethingwithoutlimits #typo #typography #sad #words #journal #original #love #diary #writing #kv

[dumbbitchfrommars]

who knew i how much i appreciated a chill night in. i am absolutely knackered though last night was fun. i need to learn to handle my liquor, or just not drink at all. its fucking up my skin and mental health and honestly i feel so concerned while i work that ill end up like those addicts. anyway, tomorrow i will eat extra to makeup up for lost time yesterday and today. 

so.... i have feelings for my friend. he is sweet and charming and so so kind, and i know he likes me too, he literally has since the day we met. its been, what? two years since we met? that’s crazy. i havent been ready for the longest time. ive known i liked him for ages as well. i kissed him on my birthday. i feel like things happen between us whenever theres some alcohol in our systems. but at the same time, its like it reveals the truth. i have less fear to act on my feelings. the stolen glances and smiles to each other, the way he’d come to me just from a look. like a magnet pulled us together constantly. i wasn’t interested in anyone but him... maybe one girl but its different with her, more flirtacious and no strings attached. 

anyway, towards the end of the night i ended up next to him in his bed. i get so nervous with him. but i feel like a little girl. like, just the biggest most wholesome schoolgirl crush. i invited him to dinner and he agreed. so theres my olive branch after two years of mixed messages. my mum likes him, i like him, he has great friends, i like him on an intellectual and physical level. which is crazy, cause for the longest time i didnt want to like him on a physical level. 

i think this whole experience, of having these feelings but trying to push them down on account for my physical preference, has taught me alot. its not fair to body shame someone. i have struggled with feeling inadequate for my body when i have no control over it. imagine if id just been accepted as a girl, i wouldve been able to enjoy my stumbling deer days when i was supposed to be lanky and skinny and awkward. so, i want to accept him as he is, and maybe that could help me grow in my own way too. 

there’s no denying i feel a little weird about it, but its just so different with him, compared to scorpion, cause i genuinely am attracted to him. hes flirty and assertive and interesting and a darling. i dont want to be afraid of having feelings for someone again. i want to be open and ready. i am ready. ive been seeing 888 999 and 555. change and transcendence. perhaps a transformational relationship. or romantic friendship? i dont want to put any expectations to it. i just want to enjoy the connection we have. 

anyway, i mainly wanted to come on here and gush about a certain moment last night. i can barely even remember what happened, or the context of the situation. i just know, he stroked my hair, and it made me feel like i was on fire. my stomach was going crazy and i looked straight into his eyes and ugh it was just magical and so seductive lol. i cant believe im even saying this! and then i instantly told him dont you do that, and smiled in that knowing way. how embarrassing!!!!! but also how sexy!!!!! he definitely wouldve known what i was thinking, and how i was feeling. 

i am the worst at hiding my feelings. i wish i could be mysterious and sexy but the reality is im an open book and i am a professional at embarrassing myself. hopefully he doesnt remember. but also... hopefully he does. i like that he has that power/effect over me. i dont think ive felt genuine attraction like this to someone in the longest time. scorpion and my summer fling both made me cringe, they were hopeless and truly gave me the ick. i still dont understand how i managed to convince myself i had feelings for them. 

but, this man is a libra, and hes wonderful, and i have feelings for him. i want to be better for him. i want to be there for him. i want him to be happy and to feel cared for... i dont know. i am so glad i got the courage to ask him to dinner. because i honestly have been wanting to for weeks now, but i didnt know how to ask. thank you God for bringing these opportunities into my lap! thank You for the protection you give me and the love i am surrounded by!!! xxxxxxoxoxo

[wiihtigo]

Could you talk more about sam and max being autistic idk I just like hearing your thoughts about it your doc was cool

you come to me on the day of my daughters wedding and ask me about sam and max autism headcanons, forcing me to open tumblr and start writing what ive been thinking recently about maxs autism in relation to him in 305

i talked about this in private a bit but i think 305 could be taken as an allegory for maxs giant autism and thinking you dont feel things the right way with ASD

-max turns into a giant horrible monster in 305, this could be taken as him literally seeing himself as a monster and the whole town, all their friends, see him as such and want him DEAD all except sam whos constantly vouching for max this entire episode. at the end when superego was like "wow! max is actually capable of self sacrifice! amazing!" sam says "told you so." very smug because he knew all along, he always knew max was capable of kindness and love because he sees it firsthand every day!

theyre partners and best friends, of course he knows him better than he knows himself. Literally in this case, where superego, personification of part of maxs brain, thinks hes not capable of feeling things in a normal, proper way, max doesnt think that about HIMSELF, superegos issue with max (maxs issue with himself lol) is that he thinks hes capable of more and max is just ignoring him he says specifically hes tried to push max towards the finer things in life and being more proper (max trying to push himself? talking about max and superego as separate when theyre essentially the same is so hard #HELP.) he thinks hes selfish and cruel and not capable of a selfless act.

theres even a line superego says to sam where he says "you of all people should be able to understand my frustration after years of being partnered with a creature driven by pure id" which is like. does max think sam gets frusterated with him and doesnt want him as a partner because of the way that he Is. max. this is a nice little parallel to sam just last episode having that thought "max is getting so powerful now soon he wont even need me :(" but thats getting away from my point a little. (veering into max depression discussion which is a whole can of worms on its own, but it is worth mentioning autism and depression often go hand in hand and some of maxs self worth issues can be attributed to feeling weird about his autism traits)

anyways of course max was capable of a selfless act, of course he would save sybil and her baby, he loves sybil and he loves babies and he has a lot of love in his little heart. so skipping ahead a bit to the biggest scene in sam and max that baffle and confuse millions, maxs reaction to coming back to sam.

a lot of people are confused by maxs nonchalance and casual retelling of the horrible events that apparently went down in his timeline where he had to kill his sam. (interestingly but a little off topic, he specifically says HE blew sam up, whereas in this tl, max killed HIMSELF, sam didnt do a thing. in fact he wouldve probably stayed trying to save him until they both blew up if superego hadnt convicned him itd be tooootally fine to leave. seriously sam its OK hes NOT going to blow up i promise. ok bye bye."

so max comes back, immediately tries to jump back into normalcy and jokes and feels unsure and uncomfortable when sam doesnt reciprocate. he looks confused when sam hugs him even. a lot of people are like "what the hell did he mean by this" but TBH as someone with ASD and lots of experience in the "getting bad news over the phone and then going to a funeral" pipeline i really felt a mind and soul connection with max there! this is mentioned somewhere int he sam and max bible for the cartoon but steve purcell writes something along the lines of "max sees things differently from anyone else" on the topic of his strange reactions to things. which is like. You have autism ->

theres an unskippable line in 305 right before you get to the endgame where sam says "why does max have tear ducts? i cant remember the last time ive seen max cry." and then immediately gets into maxs juxtaposed reaction to sams death to sams absolute MISERY over maxs. max might not feel grief in the way people would expect from a person. he might not even be sad. he might not feel things in the "proper" or "normal" way but that doesnt make him a 50 foot shambling eldritch monster, hes just wired differently. as someone with autism ive felt it too where i dont think i feel things in the right way. if something really sad and fucked up happens to me i dont feel sad and the only thing im immediately concerned with is feeling uncomfortable with watching the people around me crying which, as im typing this, makes me feel like a monster freak for being so cold and cruel, but thats the point im trying to get at, 305 could be read as an allegory for this exact feeling.. because at the end of the day max is just max and sam is happy to see him and accept him as he is. hes not a monster, hes just sams partner and best friend and its ok to be exactly the way he is without feeling the need to change

#asks #watch out theres a mile long essay under here

[schlaggot]

OKAY you seem to want to hear more so i will provide :] i am so sorry the formatting is so fucct i wrote this in apple notes and pasted it here LMAO

PLEASE BEAR WITH ME ON THIS

philza is a god. this is a popular fan theory and i know a lot of people subscribe to this!! its very good. we also know wilbur and likely tommy are his biological children, and techno is adopted. heres where my headcanons come in! im putting it under a cut cuz its a lot

wilbur and tommy weren't born like normal humans were. they were created from something existing, as philza had the power to do so. but, said power was draining, and difficult to do. the way that zeus created athena from his head and dionysus from his thigh? thats how wilbur and tommy were born.

wilbur was born from a fish. PLEASE STICK WITH ME,,. phil had caught this fish in a bucket, intent on starting an aquarium in his hardcore world. he decided to name the first fish wilbur. it was just supposed to be a joke- a small aquarium in his base with a single fish. when he'd pass by to get materials he'd greet said fish. interact with it, feed it, talk to it when he was feeling particularly lonesome. then, something happened. he mightve broken the glass, something might've gone wrong with a creeper explosion- but the fish got out of the water, and there was no realistic way for philza to save it.

so, using his powers, he incorporated the fish into his body. id imagine it was either his chest (because he was so attached to this fish that he wanted it close to his heart) or his throat (so that it could finally have a voice to speak to him). using his power, he was able to (please dont kill me for using this term) 'birth' the child using his god powers. no i wont elaborate <3. this would explain wilbur's whole. um. fish theme. (i know milo and new milo arent canon but also please give me this. also sally.) wilbur was born with a voice meant to lead and comfort, a voice he didnt have before.

techno was a piglin from the nether. a baby piglin, training to become a piglin brute. when phil got to the nether, he found a baby piglin all alone. deciding to care for it wasn't really his first thought, but it was curious of him, and he'd see it every time he entered the nether. eventually, they started interacting. philza would bring it some food or gold from the overworld, and the piglin would give him small gofts in return. a broken sword, an ender pearl, a glass bottle- little things the baby piglin had found while scavenging. phil would realize after a bit that this piglin had been abandoned by the rest of its clan, and he figured he'd take care of the little guy when he'd see him. getting bolder, philza would eventually venture further into the nether. he'd come upon a bastion, and the piglins inside obviously weren't too happy about seeing someone from the overworld there. they attacked him, and funnily enough, this little piglin, brandishing a dull golden sword, tried to defend him. philza likely wouldve died without the little guy's help, so he decided to make a plan to bring the piglin to the overworld.

unfortunately, piglins do turn into zombies when they enter the overworld. its an unfortunate fact. and philza knew this. so, in order to stop this from happening, he gave the piglin a vial of his own blood. the blood of a god. it would keep him rejuvinated for awhile- but it came with an unfortunate side effect. if the piglin didn't consume the blood of a living being for long enough, he'd begin to rot, starting the process of becoming a zombie all over again. he could always recover from this if given blood fast enough, but once he was fully transformed, it would no longer be possible for him to recover. so, philza was thankful that this piglin had an innate instinct for killing. named him technoblade since he thought it sounded cool and fit the little piglin. taught him english, sparred with him, and provided him with enough blood to keep him healthy until techno could reliably hunt for himself. blood for the blood god

now, for the youngest. tommy was born from something not physical, but a song that philza and wilbur had come up with off the top of his head. wilbur was only 7 or 8 at the time, but had a talent for coming up with tunes that philza would hum throughout the day. one particularly nice one was actually a bit of an earworm. philza found himself humming it regularly, patting out the rhythm to it when he wasn't paying attention, and singing nonsense words in place of actual vocals when he was preoccupied with building. "what's the name of the song you sung the other day?" philza'd asked the young wilbur. wilbur hadn't named the songs he'd made before, and didn't quite understand what 'naming a song' meant.

"tommy!" he'd replied.

it was endearing, a human name for a tune he couldn't get out of his head.

it had him thinking for awhile. it took a lot of effort. a redstone contraption, noteblocks, a blank music disc he'd happened to procure from a creeper. wilbur's musical knowledge was especially handy when philza was trying to get the notes just right.

in the end, he'd created what he'd set out to- a recording of his son's song onto a music disc, named Tommy.

creating another life with it like the one he'd created before was even more difficult the second time around- but in the end he had a healthy baby son. tommy. tommy's discs aren't just some useless pieces of music- they're part of who he is.

#dream smp #dreamsmp #mcyt #wilbur soot #philza #tommyinnit #technoblade #YEAAAAA HEADCANON TIME #GOD PHILZA IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ME OKAY

[blxetsi]

Hey u! If you write for Erwin could I maybe request like some fluffy headcanons where they just take care of each other after an expedition? Thank you so much <3

hey you ! ty for requesting this was fun to make 🤩🤚

caring for erwin smith after an expedition headcanons (canonverse)

lowercase intended !

warnings: mentions of death, titans, gore maybe idk ???, female reader kinda ??? idk i didnt use gendered pronouns u decide

enjoy friends 😎🙏,

the ride back was hard.

- everyone always says "it was supposed to be an easy mission !" but this time it really was. which makes it so hard to understand why just so many of your comrades had to die

- you rode back near a wagon filled with bodies, the most abled bodied people were going to be tasked with getting their bodies identified and sorted, then ready to be buried.

- after that, whichever squad leader had those soldiers would have to write to the families, to send a formal apology as well as details of the situation.

- you knew that no matter what, even if there was just one death or a thousand, erwin would have a hefty stack of paperwork to go through

- from writing his own report to looking over others, going through soldier files to order out the deceased ones, and signing any letters that come his way from squad leaders.

- you had your own job to do. although it wasn't identifying bodies, you had to go back to the infirmary with the injured, and work with the doctors and nurses there to try and save the injured.

- your head was filled with names and tallies, who got hit where, how long has this person been passed out, when did we set their dislocated shoulder, they suffered a nasty head laceration, did i ever check their pupils ?

- you and erwin both had a lot on your plates, and you knew you wouldn't be able to see him until hours later, maybe not even until the next day

- and as much as you wanted to go see your fiance, who would be silently beating himself up over this, you couldn't, your responsabilities always came first, just as his did

- so after hours upon hours in the medical hallway, with nurses and doctors flowing from one room from the next, soldiers coming in with gurneys to transport soldiers that had passed, their names already being added to a list of fallen soldiers.

- it was about one in the morning when things finally started to die down. nurses that were tasked with the night shift had been helping greatly, as others were ready to pass out. you'd been employed by the scouts for years, first as a medic, then after almost dying from an abnormal on a mission, retired from the field to become one of the on call doctors at the base, before coming out of your haitus to rejoin your squad. since you had so much experience on and off the field, you could keep going. you were tired, but your body just couldn't stop moving.

- you decides itd be good for a shower, and saw lots of soldiers there with you.

- it was quiet, which wasnt normal but not surprising considering the circumstances. most times in the showers girls would be helping each other braid their hair, or sharing soaps and lotions, chatting about whatever happened that day on base. the boys' showers were usually even more rowdy, youd almost be able to hear them next door.

- you were surprised by just how much blood and dirt came off of you. you didnt feel like you treated or assisted a lot of people today, but maybe thats just because this whole days been a blur. because the showers had been used so frequently you had ice cold water streaming down your body, after soaping down your body, getting into every nook and cranny and line you could, you shut off the water, before wrappy your body in a towel and going to one of the sinks there

- you brushed your hair (which took some time) and brushed your teeth before making your way back to the dorms, where you found some pajamas to change into.

- your roommates were all asleep, two snoring, one not. you knew they were absolutely exhausted, and silently hoped that theyd get to sleep in the next day

- you made your way to the lounge room, finding some stragglers stationed around. two sitting on a couch, one sitting on the ground in front of them, someone at a near by table with a chess board in front of them, and another had come out of the kitchen with some tea.

- you knew walking around was useless, youd just disturb others and could possibly get yourself in trouble. but you couldnt help it. it was just past two in the morning now, and you knew even if you only got an hour of sleep, you were sure to wake up in a cold sweat from a nightmare.

- so where do you go ? erwins.

- getting there was easy, you knew this route like the back of your hand. from coming in tk hand him reports from the medical hallway, to sneaking in after curfew for goodnight kisses, making your way to his office was like second nature to you.

- you didnt bother knocking, and he didnt bother looking up at you. he knew only you would dare to interrupt the commander after curfew without identifying yourself, and although he had asked you to knock you absolutely could not.

- you slowly stepped in, your bare feet padding against the squeaking floorboards. you sat in a chair in front of his desk, and simply watched him while he wrote.

- he wasnt in his uniform now, but in pajamas like yourself, you were glad he found the time to shower and change, his hair drying and frizzing up the tiniest bit.

- it was quiet, the only noises you could hear were the scribbling of his pen against paper, and the soft whistling of his nose as he breathed, time blended together until finally he stopped, and simply looked at you.

"my dear, why don't you sleep ?" he asked.

you gave him a soft smile, not noticing until now just how droopy your eyes had become. "because then i wouldn't be able to stare at you, my love." your voice was nothing but a whisper, and with the way the wind howled erratically outside, like it was mourning the fallen with you and everyone else, erwin wouldve missed it.

"you flatter me too much." he replied, his deep voice breaking off at the end.

you two stared like that for a while, just remembering every detail of the other person. the candle light was getting dimmer as the wax kept melting, but the soft glow it gave made all your beauty stand out to erwin. although it was a depressing moment, he still found time to admire just how perfect you looked. he could've lost you today, and he knows that. he stopped vocalizing things like that long ago, as your answer would always be "well you didnt, and you never will !" he didn't need you jinxing yourself like that.

you observed the bags under his eyes while he observed your own. erwin felt worried that youd be all sore and achy, from running around performing medical miracles on his soldiers from afternoon into night. you however, were worried if his shoulders and back were sore, from sitting in the same position, hunched over for hours on end. you knew how easily his muscles tightened, you didn't want him to be in any discomfort, especially after today.

you were the first to look away, staring at one of the candles on his table, watching a race between two wax droplets, trying to see which one would hit the metal candle holder first.

"-my dear ?"

you turned your head back towards your man, giving him a hum of acknowledgment.

"i asked if you were ready to go to sleep, y/n." he repeated. his thick brows furrowed a bit, showcasing some wrinkles he had on his forehead. his eyes showed visible worry in them for you, and you couldn't help but return them.

"will you sleep with me please ?" you whispered. the day had caught up with you, and now the only thing you wanted was for erwin to be safe in your arms as he finally let go of this awful day.

erwin looked down at his work, weighing the actions of his possible decision. you were so sure he would decline, while sending you off back to your dorm to ensure you didn't bother him. you could feel your eyes fill with tears, erwins being becoming blurry. you couldnt conceal the whimper that left your mouth, clamping your hand against it to muffle anything else. your head turned down into your lap, while you felt hot tears hit your pajama bottoms.

erwin wordlessy got up, before moving to your side. you tried to protest but you couldn't take your hand away from your lips, afraid youd let out a sob.

the blond put one arm under your knees, while the other took your right hand and slung it around his shoulders. he let out a quiet grunt as he picked you up, before nuzzling your head into his neck as he made his way into his bedroom, which was connected to his office.

it was a small room, but there was a big bed that could probably fit quite a few people. he slowly sat you down on the edge, which was his side of the bed. pulling away he got on his knees in front of you, rubbing up and down your arms.

you gripped his shoulders as you gasped for breath. "you- you can't leave me. please erwin i- you have to stay." you sobbed, trying to pull him closer by his shirt.

he shushed you quietly, urging you to lay back as he pulled the covers away, he tucked you in silently, wiping your cheeks and forehead before joining you on the other side.

his pillow smelled like him, and you turned your head to breathe it in better, needing erwin and his comfort.

pulling the covers up around his waist, he leaned into your touch, your arms coming out to wrap around his shoulders. you pulled him into your chest, and you rubbed his back with one hand while the other cradled his head to your beating heart.

he didn't offer you any words of comfort, erwin knew that it wasnt what you needed right now. you didn't need reassurance, or promises that could be broken, you just needed him. and he would fully give himself over to you if he could.

your cries had died down until all you did was sniffle and let out the occasional shaky breath, and erwin found it a bit odd that instead of needing to be nurtured, youd need to nuture to feel better. instead of feeling protected, you needed to feel like you could protect to calm yourself.

slowly but surely you recovered, until all that was left were puffy eyes and soft sighs.

erwin tried to push himself up, to face you, but you pushed him back into your chest, making him chuckle slightly. you continued to rub his back, feeling his shoulder blades and muscle, and around his neck too. you kept your nose in his hair, no doubt getting snot in it but you knew right now erwin didnt care. you breathed in his shampoo while carding your hand through the short strands.

the commander would be lying if he said this didn't help him too. just a bit of alone time with the one he loved, being held the way a parent would cradle their child. he truly felt at peace in these moments with you, he felt warm and safe in your embrace. he wasn't a leader anymore, he wasn't a soldier. right now he was just a man, being held in the arms of the person he absolutely adored. and that was enough for him. because you would always be enough for him.

he whispered out your name, only hearing a soft hum in reply. he glanced up at you to see your head against the pillow, your eyes closed. he smiled before kissing your collarbone.

"i love you, my dear."

thats it !!! i hope you enjoyed !! love u all, requests r open ❤️❤️❤️

#attack on titan #attack on titan fanfiction #attack on titan x reader #erwin smith #hange zoe #levi ackerman #erwin smith oneshot #erwin smith x reader #erwin smith x y/n #erwin smith headcanons #erwin aot #erwin x levi #erwin x reader #erwin headcanons #attack on titan erwin #shingeki no kyoujin x reader #shingeki no kyoujin imagine #shingeki no kyoujin fanfiction #shingeki no kyoujin

[heyitsyn]

Manager!Seijoh Part 2

a/n: lmao this is kinda weird for me but i think this was an interesting request so lets try it!

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

lowkey kyotani kentaro typa beat but you gotta squint (??)

also warning! angst!

anon request: Hii! I just read the seijoh manager headcannon you wrote, it made me cry so much, i love those seijoh boys so much, and you are such an amazing writer! I dont know if requests are open or not but i was wondering what would happen if the boys ever find out what happened to reader cha? If requests aren’t open or if you just don’t want to write about it, I completely understand! Thank you for your wonderful writing again! Stay safe!

the stageplay was *chefs kiss* like MY MANS IWA WAS SERVING LOOKSSSS

soooooo

this might get really angsty idk so just a warning in advance

anyways

i mentioned in the earlier part that no one really knew what happened to you

so this one is when they DO find out what happened and what theyre gonna do about it

so first off, kyoken was basically the only one who saw you that day and saw how badly you looked

the thing is, at that current moment, he didnt really know the reason why and what happened

he had theories that you got jumped or you just got into an accident 

but he was prettttttyyyy sure you got beat up

so you went home and rushed to yanno, take a shower and get your wound treated and cleaned so that it would heal bc you really cannot afford to let the boys see that

they would think of the worst at the smallest sight of blood on you and you really didnt want to deal w that chaos at the moment

you cant let them get suspended from school since they were going to interhigh soon and you cant let oikawa and the boys ruin their reputations just for you

a first year girl theyve just met

it was kinda hard to rinse all of the milk from your hair but you were able to at least get the smell out and clean up your mess

then you looked in the mirror and saw faint handprints around your throat from that girl miyo and you cringed as you touched it

‘jesus christ, seriously what does she eat? bricks?’

after your clothes were in the wash, you went to bed to get homework done and also looking up how to use the concealer to hide your bruises 

you didnt really own any makeup but your mom has some so you could just use that

during dinner, you wore a turtleneck to prevent any suspicion from happening but you couldnt really hide the big gash on your face

‘y/n, what happened!’

‘i was dumb and accidentally fell up the stairs’

your parents shared a chuckle bc theyve actually seen you do this before so it was easy to believe the lie

‘darling, do we need to get you glasses? it seems your sight has worsened’

‘haha’

you went along with the joke but you weren’t eating and just pushed your food around

‘y/n? is the food not good?’

your mother asked but you shook your head with a convincing smile

‘its good! i just had some meat buns with the team earlier and i ate a lot so im still full’

you cursed at yourself for making it sound so rehearsed but you were relieved when your mother nodded

the next morning, you were satisfied with the reduced puffing of your face and you snuck into your parents bathroom where her makeup bag would be

as you held up the concealer, you started getting anxious because this was not the same shade as your skin and it would definitely raise suspicion if you had a different color on your neck than the rest of your body

you already planned to blame your wound as acne that you accidentally scratched but what were you going to do with the handprints?

the website you read said that it would take at least a day for them to fade

so you decided youd just wear a scarf and pretend you were cold

kunimi was confused as to why you had a scarf bundled around your neck and his eyes even widened at the sight of the bandaid on your face

‘y/n! what-!’

he shot up from his seat and your eyes widened before hissing at him to sit down

‘what happened to you?!’

he worriedly asked but you waved him off with a small smile

‘acne. this was the only available bandaid in my house so i had to work with this’

kunimi might be a lazy little shit but he was observant

and he noticed the way you said that sentence

it was like a robot

like a robot programmed to say what was written on its script

but before he could press on further, you already pointed out that the teacher was coming in and to hush so you could listen

the entire time, kunimi was awake alright, but he was too busy looking at you and a bright red thing that poked from the edge of your bandaid

kindaichi went to your classroom for lunch and you had to repeat your excuse for him but he pointed at another thing

‘why are you wearing a scarf? its like burning in here’

you didnt look at him as you just opened your bento

‘being in your period causes your temperature to fluctuate and cause unexplainable chill at even the hottest places’

okay what

they both shared a look and just shrugged, blaming it on your time of the month for the way you spoke with no emotion in your tone

this had to be the longest school day of your life

the whole time the scarf remained on and kunimi cant help but notice your flinches at the smallest of sounds

finally practice arrived and you really thought you could pull this off until oikawa barreled straight towards you and hugged you tightly

‘y/n-chan! you okay?! oikawa-senpai was so worried for you!’ 

you cringed but nodded

‘im okay, oikawa-san’

‘senpai, y/n-chan! call me senpai!’

‘im not going to feed into your kink, oikawa-san’

*cue everyone busting a lung*

‘y/n, what’s the-’

‘acne. only bandaid available in my house’

eventually, everything was fine

you were still cracking jokes w the others and you were still laughing w them so kunimi and kindaichi were at ease

but that shattered when oikawa was being oikawa and was being all touchy and bothering you about the scarf around your neck that he ended up pulling it off and he saw the marks

he was silent, just staring at them

ofc you were freaking out and you started breathing heavily

oh god he found out and he was going to hurt them

‘o-oikawa-senpai, listen, it’s not what it-’

‘y/n’

his voice made your eyes shut in fear and the others crowded around you and they all had scandalized looks on their faces

‘is this why you werent in practice yesterday?’

his voice was sharp, a complete opposite to his normally cheerful tone

you shivered and sighed

‘senpai, please dont-’

‘who is it?’

the other third years shared a look bc they were truly shook at oiks voice

‘w-why should i tell you?! its none-’

‘i am your captain and i deserve to know who is pulling you away from your managerial duties so he could just give you these damn hickeys!’

the gym turned silent

you stopped then furrowed your eyebrows

‘hickey? what-’

‘dont act like you dont know, y/n. so just be honest and tell me who’s your boyfriend’

lmao i shouldnt laugh bc this was supposed to be sad but im cackling at how dumb oikawa really is sometimes

‘i-i,,,,’

you stuttered but you knew this was the perfect opportunity

you could just blame it on this ridiculous misunderstanding 

its a difficult hole to get out of but it would be easier than the other

so you pretended to be flustered and turned around to hide your face

‘it was a one-time thing, oikawa-san. i promise it wont happen again’

HELLO WHAT

the team was leaking the feeling of RAGE

how dare someone take their manager!

she was theirs!

and it doesnt help that every player might have a little thing for you

is this really turning into a harem

oikawa kept demanding answers but iwa hit him enough to quit and they finally went back to practicing but they were still distracted

every time they looked at you, they would grow flustered and red and end up missing a block or a serve

they just cant see their baby manager like that

you noticed it quickly and irritably got on them

‘stop staring at my neck and get back to practice!’

they flinched and saluted at you

lmao this little first year girl is able to control nearly a dozen <5′10 men who are all older than her

but you were glad that they finally stopped asking about it

this was going to go by smoothly and you were going to be okay

however,,,

several days later,,,

this is an angst fanfiction so i will bring thy angst

you were taking out your class garbage since it was your group’s turn in cleaning the classroom when you were grabbed by the arm on your way back

it was still outside and after school so it wouldve been an unlikely situation that someone would help you

it was that biatch miyo again and her 2 minions behind her

then you recognized one girl from the track team who was actually a year older than you but you saw her dropping off some files in the office

if you tried to run, she could easily grab you w her fast legs

great

you were stuck

you let out a tired sigh and crossed your arms on your chest

‘what is it you want from me, again?’

she smirked

‘you really dont know how to listen, do you? i told you to stay away from oikawa but youre still flaunting around with him!’

is she serious?

this girl was borderline stalker/yandere type of girl

you gave her an incredulous look and frowned

‘girl, do you hear yourself? you damn crazy and im leaving’

but she grabbed you back and shoved you against the wall

but this time, you kicked her on the chest to make her fall on her flat booty

surprise was written on their faces and you stretched your arms in front of you to symbolize distance

‘one more step and ill beat tf out of you. i just got my nails off so id watch it if i were you’

miyo huffed and stood up, brushing herself, glaring at one of the girls who tried to help her

then she remembered what you told her

‘hmm? if you hit me, you could be kicked off of the team since you hurt another student. so, go ahead, little kouhai’

she was right

even if it was self-defense, the school’s disciplinary section sucked and just suspended or kicked off people left and right even though they didnt do anything wrong

you were stumped

you were here on a scholarship, not on tuition

your mom would KILL you if she found out you got into a fight and got a record

but you didnt show that and kept your tough facade

‘dont challenge me. i could be a crazy bitch and i dont think youd like your little face being all messed up. so watch your mouth and leave me alone’

you turned to leave but she grabbed your hair and tugged it back

lmao flashbacks to the other part

she twisted your hair into a ponytail and had a firm grip while a girl kicked you behind your knees so you would fall to the ground

oh no you were done w this

you elbowed miyo on the stomach the hardest you could and she groaned which loosened her hold and you kicked her again to the ground

some other girl hit your side and you winced before slapping her straight across the face bc you didnt want to punch her and hurt your knuckles

but they were really testing you

the last girl still had your hair but you twisted around to face her and just did the last you could think of that would hurt

hit her right between her legs

you finally escaped their hold and miyo lunged after you

‘oh my god leave me alone!’

you yelled before holding up your arms to protect your face but she scratched your arms 

obviously you were losing this bc it was just you but you were going to fight as much as you can

‘bad kouhais need to be punished! your senpais need to teach you a lesson!’

miyo screeched and you grabbed her arm before punching her straight at the boob

sorry rebecca

however, one girl was smart and did the same thing you did to her knees and made you fall to a kneeling position and eventually made you curl into a fetal position

gurl we actually fighting so hard considering we’ve never been in a fight

they continuously kicked you before miyo pulled up your head so you could sit up and kneel in front of her

ofc you tried to grab at her and punch at her

but these other girls were able to catch you and trap your arms in their hold and had their feet on your legs so you couldnt kick

great, another bathroom scene

your arms were bleeding from miyo’s scratches and your sides were hurting after their kicks

you lost and you were already bleeding in places you didnt think you would

this would be the last attempt and if he doesnt come, you’re done for

‘IIIIIIWWWWWAAAAAAAA-SAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!’

your scream echoed throughout the entire are

possibly could be heard in new york

and your voice became hoarse

ofc the girls were surprised and caught off guard but when there was silence and clear that no one was coming, they started laughing

‘oh, so cute! iwa-san? is that supposed to be iwaizumi-san? heh, you whoring around w him too? thats so cute-’

‘LET. GO. OF. HER. NOW.’

I GOT CHILLS

the girls holding you shrieked and dropped their hold on you before scrambling back causing you to drop to the ground

miyo’s eyes were wide and there was horror all over her face at the voice of that infamous boy

kyotani kentarou

‘WHAT THE FK ARE YOU DOING?!’

he yelled and miyo turned around to be met with his piercing eyes before screaming and running away with her minions in tow

‘YEA RUN AWAY! FKING COWARDS!’

ltr the cursing is so awkward for me to do but this is his character and im just so awkward so sorry!!

you coughed and winced at the pain on your side which caught his attention

again, he noticed you as the manager of their team and you’ve been hanging out w him, well, just him staring at you, at the alley while you feed the animals

you were actually nice and caring and definitely didnt deserve this

‘oi, y-you okay?’

you didnt look up, just closing your eyes in pain and biting your lips to not let out the crying

his eyes softened at you and he noticed you were trying to act tough and brave even though you just got beat up

normally, he wouldnt even help anyone but it seems you just did something to him

he sighed before gently picking you up, you not even bothering to stop him, and he held you tightlyin his arms as he carried you to the nurses office

he had a feeling you didnt want to be seen like this and hes been in the nurse enough to know she actually leaves the moment school ends

you let out a shaky breath as he set you down on the cot and you opened your eyes to reach your hold for him when he went away

‘n-no, don’t leave-’

but he grunted softly before holding your wrist

‘im just getting your damn medicine. chill out’

lowkey getting bakugou vibes

you nodded and went to close your eyes again

kyo returned w some pain relief medicine from his bag that he carries 

babie actually gets into fights often and he needs it sometimes

and he had alcohol medicine kind istg and bandaids for your arms

it was silent as you drank the pills and he sat down next to you so he could treat the wounds

but he let his curiosity take over him

‘why the fk did you let them do this to you’

he grunted and you scoffed with a smile

‘let? more like overpower me and grip me as they just hit me’

‘cant you fight them back?’

you glared at him

‘bruh i literally kneed some girl in their cooch but they just some superhuman typa girls that cant be hurt’

he sighed

‘maybe you just werent strong enough’

okay listen here you lil shit

you didnt want to listen to him scold you anymore so you just went back to closing your eyes

but kyo is actually lowkey nosy so he kept asking questions

‘the first time we met. was it her too?’

you flinched in surprise

‘you remembered that?’

‘ofc i did. you looked like shit. not as bad as this but still like shit’

‘gee thanks, stranger-kun’

‘kyotani,,, kentarou’

you smiled

‘nice to meet you, kyotani kentarou. im l/n y/n’

‘i know’

he mumbled but you didnt catch it

‘thanks for hearing me and coming to help’

he hummed

he wasnt going to tell you that he actually heard the scream for his idol and thought hed be there so he ran to go see him but instead saw you

kyo just respects and looks up to iwa-chan so much it warms my heart uwu-

once you were all patched up, you were finally able to stand but you still staggered

he grabbed your arm softly and sat you back down

‘what the hell are you going to tell the team?’

you paused then sighed

‘i dont know. ill figure something out’

but he knew how observant the players would be and they would catch on

after all, he was there watching at the top bleachers as oikawa yelled at you for the ‘hickey’

‘if they didnt hit your face, you could get away with it. but you have wounds all over you and theyd find out. im guessing youre doing this bc you dont want to trouble them or burden them? bc they would do something about it?’

you just stared at this guy

‘how-’

‘just a guess’

he also wasnt going to tell you that he was actually part of the team but the constant fighting got him in suspension

and the fact that his parents were donors for the school, he only got a tap on the wrist

‘so what do i do, then?’

‘tell them-’

‘no i cant do that! another plan, kyo-kun!’

‘oi, im a second year, idiot. treat me with respect’

the irony bc he totally treats oikawa like trash

‘i just,,,, oikawa-san is seen as this prince/gentleman type and i know how protective he is towards me so the slightest problem could cause him to be ballistic. miyo is popular enough to circulate rumors about him and hes already in his third year and she is too so i just have to endure one year until theyre gone’

kyo was disgusted

all this for that stupid idiot captain?

‘youre dumber than i thought’

you weakly hit him at the arm

‘so mean, kyo-san’

‘i dont think its right youre suffering for someone who isnt even worth it’

you glared and linked your fingers together

‘im the manager. i knew this would happen the moment i signed up but i didnt care. as manager, i have to keep up the team’s image and their popularity for support so i cant let all that be ruined just bc a little first year girl couldnt fight for herself’

‘just tell them, kid. less problems’

then he stood up to leave

‘kid?! im only a year younger than you! what you mean!’

but you were panicking

someone knew about you being hurt and they could easily tell the team

and it only increased when he entered the gym and later introduced himself as a player

you were so surprised that you stopped breathing

‘kyo-san,,,’ 

you muttered and he glared at you

well, more like look at you but i have a theory that kyo actually has problems w his sight so it looks like he’s glaring at you constantly but hes just actually trying to see clearly

‘yo’

oikawa was surprised at this interaction

‘eh? you know kyoken-chan?’

you nodded, still looking at the blonde

‘i-uh’

‘its none of your business’

kyotani grunted and you sighed in relief

maybe your secret would be safe

you were still uneasy about him accidentally revealing it, especially since he practically worships iwaizumi-san, but he kept his mouth shut

your caring personality at first was overbearing on him but he appreciated your efforts like volunteering on helping him with his eyeliner or asking him if he needed help with his medical tape

ngl, he also thought you were there just bc it was a team full of guys and you thought you could have that weird girl fantasy of having a harem

but you cared for them like practically a mother and continuously made it clear to oikawa that you were NOT interested in going on a date with him

you werent annoying, you were nice, and you weren’t pushy so he actually showed you respect and took a liking to you

this created a soft of protectiveness around you

sometimes, he would see you around school and he would practically glare at the girls he knew hated you

and when he wasnt there to protect you, you would call him to the nurses office where he would mumble apologies of not being there while patching you up before he would go over and threaten them to touch you again and he would bite their fingers off

aww hes so cute

ofc he still kept your secret bc it wasnt his business to tell 

until that one day

it was normal practice with you helping the boys toss the balls so they could spike it

iwaizumi spiked it really hard making you flinch and he apologized profusely after you almost fell off the chair you were standing on in surprise

‘im just angry that that damn shittykawa is the captain and is late to his own damn practice’

oikawa? late?

that was unheard of

you were about to get off the chair and look for him when the devil himself entered the gym with the devil’s mistress on his arm

miyo was holding on to his arm as he laughed at something she said and ruffled her hair

you dropped the ball and kyotani quickly moved to you so he could stand in front of you protectively

‘oi! shittykawa! youre late!’

oikawa just smiled and pointed at the girl

‘miyo-chan made us cookies, iwa-chan!’

at the mention of food, the boys ran forward but you and kyotani remained at the side at the infamous name

you got off the chair and hurriedly placed an arm in front of him

‘don’t, kyo-san’

‘the bitch-’

‘i know. but please, dont’

you begged and he huffed before aggresively wrapping an arm around your shoulder

aggressively cares for you

‘if she does something or even talks shit, i will-’

‘kyoken-chan! y/n-chan! come here!’

oikawa called but kyotani snarled at him

you smile wobbled when miyo’s eyes narrowed at you and she smirked

‘oh? your manager is so cute, oikawa-kun!’

the rest of the team was just blinking at this weird tension

kyo had his arm tightly around you and hatingly glaring at this girl, who was icily smirking at you, and you tightly holding kyo’s shirt with a worried glint in your eyes

‘you were late to your own damn practice, oikawa. stop wasting time eating this shit and go back to playing’

tbh it still shocks you at how rudely kyo talks to oikawa but you were too pre-occupied on making sure this kid wasnt going to lunge at this girl

‘a-ah, right. oikawa-san, we have to return to practice. if you excuse us, miyo-san-’

you were about to gently grab oikawa’s arm to bring him back when she grabbed your wrist and secretly gripped it

‘oh, dont be so uptight, y/n-chan! i worked so hard-’

but kyo immediately snatched her hand away from you and squeezed it as tight as he could, making her wince

oikawa noticed the pain in miyo’s face and he was angry that kyotani was hurting a girl

‘oi! kyotani!’

he shouted and pushed him away, making the team, even iwa, worriedly look at kyo and brace themselves for the beating

iwa jumped into action and held the second year back while you jumped in front of oikawa

‘kyo-san, calm-’

‘you! be quiet’

he shouted, finger pointing at you

‘and you!’

before pointing to oikawa

‘you are a shitty captain’

‘kyotani!’

iwa was just straight out confused and hes really questioning life decisions right now

mom is stressed and confused, i repeat, MOM IS STRESSED AND CONFUSED

oikawa’s eyes narrowed but he just calmly talked

‘we’ll talk about this later’

‘miyo-san, we really need to practice so if you could see yourself out’

iwa gently smiled to the girl, who was about to protest, but makki and mattsun has already pointed to the door

she huffed then turned to leave and once she was gone, iwa let go of kyotani

‘kyotani, what the hell was that’

oikawa lowly asked and you were about to put your arms out to separate them but yahaba and watari grabbed you so you wouldnt be caught in the middle

then kyo turned to you, fire in his eyes

‘either you tell him or i will’

can we just talk about how protective kyo is?

you trembled and you roughly left yahaba and watari’s grip so you could gently place your hands on his chest

‘please, kyo. just leave it, okay? remember, it’s my busi-’

‘if i see that bitch enter this gym again, i dont give a flying fuck if shes a girl. ill beat the living daylights out of her’

‘kyotani kentarou, what-!’

oikawa shouted but your glare shut him up

‘y/n-chan, what is going on’

‘n-nothing. kyo-san is just, yknow, being him. you know? okay. now lets get back to practice, everyone!’

coach irihata and the other guy sharing that look

to say the least, miyo was pissed

and when she was pissed at you, she always did what she normally does

she corners you wherever its deserted and beat you with the help of her minions who holds you down while she slaps, hits, or kicks you

girlie you needs to tell the boys youre literally getting hit and abused and im just-!!!!!!!!!

and thats exactly what she did

only this time, she wore hard-tipped shoes

‘see, y/n-chan? i saved up and got these shoes just for you!’

the minions were just sharing looks of fear and genuine sympathy for you

they were only there bc she blackmailed them with pictures doing questionable things and if they dont help, they would be released

as usual, you didnt cry, biting your lip as you winced from the pain of her kick at your side

‘youre so pathetic. how could you do this to a person? and all this for your oikawa-san? for a boy?’

you wheezed at her causing her eyes to flare

‘HAH?! SAY THAT AGAIN!’

‘i said-’

but you were cut off when she slapped the soul out of you

her ring cut you at the lip and you cringed at the taste of blood from your lip

‘what else? we gotta hurry this up, miyo, because practice started like 5 minutes ago and im going to get yel-’

‘SHUT UP!’

kyotani entered the gym after his talk with his teacher and immediately looked around for you

his honey brown eyes scanned the area and they widened as your figure wasn’t in sight

‘oi, yahaba, wheres the manager’

the boy shrugged from the side 

‘i dont know. shes late though’

oh god

‘kindaichi! kunimi! youre in the same grade right? did you see where she went after class?’

kunimi paused to remember before answering

‘she stayed after to talk to obe-sensei for the homework, that’s all i know’

that meant she stayed behind and was probably somewhere

‘SHIT!’

he shouted before bolting out the door

ofc the boys were all worried of his outburst and started yelling after him

‘kyotani!’

‘kyoken-chan?!’

they followed him, who was running as fast as he can

the girls would probably do it outside to avoid having to clean up their mess and he almost wrenched the door open in a hurry to take a lap around the school building

it was certainly a sight to see: a boy with dyed blonde hair and two brown lines followed after an entire volleyball team who were screaming after him

‘YOU-!’

he heard that bitch voice and bolted towards the back, where the dumpster was, and found you at the same position like the first time he saw you

blood was dripping on the floor from your busted lip and a cut on your cheek while your eyes were wide at the sight of kyotani’s panting form

‘kyo-!’

‘kyotani!’

your eyes watered at the sight of the entire volleyball team behind him, also eviqualiently surprised yet fuming angry

the girls who held you dropped your arms and ran for the hills so they wouldnt get caught

kyo pushed miyo aside as he grabbed you from the floor and held you

oikawa gave miyo a look that cannot even be described in words

all it was: incredibly, super, ridiculously, heatedly, furiously, angry

now multiply that by the entire team

‘hm, my father, who is the chieftain of the police, mentioned about there being jail time for even minors who commit serious acts like assault or bullying’

mattsun seethed

‘really? i think he’d like the video as evidence against kenta miyo for assault and battery, including bullying, so how many years would that add up to? nearly a decade?’

the girl miyo squeaked as oikawa and iwaizumi roughly grabbed each wrist

‘how long’

miyo trembled at the increased pressure on her wrist

‘IM ASKING YOU A FUCKING QUESTION! HOW LONG!’

iwaizumi has never shouted at a girl before and hopefully, it would be the last

‘s-s-since l-last month’

you burrowed your head in kyotani’s shirt

‘please dont’

‘shut the fk up, y/n-chan, we’re not talking to you right now’

oikawa coldly reprimanded

‘everyone, take y/n away. iwaizumi and i can take care of this. but mattsun, makki, track down those 3 girls and find others who have even touched our manager’

‘got it, boss’

if it was in a different situation, you wouldve applauded oikawa at his ability to be a leader but you were currently in pain from the bruises and the cuts all over you

your fellow first-years were angrily punching things in the nurse’s office

rip nurse in the morning when she finds holes all over her walls

the irony is, the most agressive one, kyotani kentarou, was the calmest as he quietly cleaned your wounds and placed ointment on the bruises

‘i told you so’

he mumbled and you scoffed

‘howd you find me anyways?’

‘dumb bitch yaps really loud’

he answered

no one was yelling at you and no one was saying a word

eventually, oikawa and iwaizumi entered followed by the rest of the third years

‘why. why didnt you tell us, y/n?’

oikawa asked as he sat down on the chair beside the bed

you looked down and fiddled with your fingers

‘if i did, you wouldve hurt her. and she wouldve spread rumors about you and ruin the image and reputation of the grand king and the volleyball team. i didnt want to do that to you and thought i could just endure it one year since youre graduating anyways’

iwaizumi sucked in a harsh breath

‘you wouldn’t have known what we were going to do. you are no oracle and you dont know how we are going to handle this situation. so you were really stupid for keeping these things to yourself, y/n. you may be our manager and our caretaker but let us take care of you too’

you nodded but your tears fell

‘sorry. im really sorry. i didnt meant to trouble you’

‘stop apologizing, y/n’

‘sorry’

‘y/n!’

you bowed your head low and bit your lip in guilt

‘i shouldve told you but i didnt and now everyone is troubled-’

‘we’re a team, y/n. youre not a lone wolf anymore. you have a pack standing right beside you’

watari mumbled and he sat down to give you his favorite hug: the one arm hug

‘im super angry right now and it might seem like im snappy but i really want you to know, y/n, that i really love you and i am just hurt that you didnt trust us enough to tell us you were suffering when i trust you with my entire being. so next time youre hurting or in pain, dont you dare keep it to yourself. tell us, okay? tell your senpais and friends about it so we can share that burden’

oikawa babie you are so mature like what-

what started out as a hug from watari turned into a team hug around the tiny bed, even kyo joined, and you were so happy you found a good team that appreciated you and everything youve done and accepted you as one of their own

‘oikawa-san, what did you do to miyo?’

‘again, im mad y/n-chan, so please dont talk about her right now’

‘iwa-san?’

‘dont use those puppy eyes on me! dont you dare-- okay, we’re pressing charges’

silence

‘WHAT?!’

‘and iwa-chan slapped her!’

‘WHAT?!’

‘shut up shittykawa you did too!’

‘WHAT?!’

a/n: this hurted a bit and im sorry if this was lowkey awkward and all over the place but i didnt exactly know how to portray this situation since ive never experienced this, just bullying in general, before but for those who have, please tell someone so that you dont have to carry that burden by yourself. it doesnt have to be a your parents, but talk to a trusted adult so that this type of stuff doesnt happen to you bc you truly dont deserve that type of treatment and deserve to be happy and feel safe in an environment like school or anywhere in general

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu!! imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu!! headcanons #aoba johsai #aoba johsai x reader #aoba josai x reader #seijoh #aoba johsai imagines #aoba josai imagines #seijoh imagines #seijoh manager #haikyuu manager #haikyuu!! manager #aoba johsai manager #aoba josai manager #seijoh x reader #aoba johsai headcanons #aoba josai headcanons #seijoh headcanons #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu!! fluff #oikawa tooru #iwaizumi hajime #matsukawa issei #hanamaki takahiro

[occult-castiel]

The Same Page

This is my @destielsecretsanta2020 gift for @eclypseaf!!! The request was open, but bonus points for Miracle being present. So I wrote some post empty rescue fic!

This one honestly gave me a really hard time and I have no idea why. I hope you like it and have has an awesome christmas!

[Ao3 Link]

The portal spits them out in the dungeon.

Dean stumbles out first, a half step ahead of Cas. Human, malleable, and very much alive with one of the little dude's arms draped over Dean's shoulder.

Cas stumbles forward. Dean shoots an arm out in front of him, places a hand firmly against his chest. He maneuvers his other arms under his trenchcoat, grips his side firm.

His skins almost cool to the touch — much too cold to be safe. Not for a human, especially a brand new one.

And what if he's sick? Or gets sick and can't get better? Without his grace, there's a whole new set of worries. A bad flu that gets worse until he's gone, a hunt going wrong, fucking cancer. Heart disease kills pretty much everyone, doesn't it?

He takes a deep breath and focuses on the gentle thud of Cas' heart against his palm.

The last eight months haven't been easy. Not between the alcohol Sam eventually cut him off from, and the hunts getting sparse, and Jack being terrifying and gone until he wasn't.

Cas lulls his head to the side. His inky heart sticks to his forehead, and his blueberry-sweet eyes are unfocused but still manage to catch Dean's.

It's achingly familiar, and he smiles easy. "Hey there, sunshine."

Cas pinches his brows together as his head swims to stay upright. He slurs through some half-baked, nonsense question about coral reef bleaching, and Dean's so relieved he laughs.

Cas smiles at the sound, dazed and feather-light, but the joy is unmistakable.

It's the best thing Dean's ever seen. Fuck, he missed him. Missed him so much he didn't know what to do with himself.

Cas winces — what little help he was giving Dean in holding him up falls. He makes up the difference quick. Weak fingers curl around Dean's wrist.

"Sorry —"

"S'okay. Gonna —" he swallows hard. Tries to shove away the distinct pin-prick in his tear ducts that always means he needs to man the hell up. "Gonna get you to a bed, okay?"

Cas grunts, a pitiful noise that's mostly air and entirely feeble. "Tired."

"Rest then. It ain't far. I gotcha, buddy."

When he nods, his hair brushes Dean's neck.

It's not well thought out. The lack of work and overload of carbs haven't done Dean's muscles any favors. His joints creak and protest every step, but his room isn't far, and he'd be damned before he let's Cas feel like he has to do anything alone this time.

Miracle hops off the bed the moment the door opens.

Dean lays Cas on top of the bunched up blanket. Once he's down, Dean slowly works the trencoast and suit jacket off, his hands careful as they trail across the thin cotton of his shirt.

Cas shivers, and Dean wrestles to tug the blanket out from under him, Miracle nuzzling the side of his leg the whole time.

She's probably hungry. Or just wants attention. He hasn't exactly been available the last couple weeks, too busy with his nose in piles of research. But it all payed off.

Cas grimaces in his sleep, and it twists the cords in Dean's chest. He reaches his hand out and ghosts his fingers across the sweat-stained hair stuck to his skin, gently pushing it to the side.

He'd said it once, not more than a month ago, in the darkness of his room, Miracle tucked as close as he could get her.

He said he loved me, and I — I didn't say it back. But I do. God I do.

Dean trails his hand from his forehead to the flushed pillow of his cheeks. The other knuckles roughly at his eyes and comes back wet.

He has no god damn idea what he wouldve done without Miracle to talk to. Cause he could never get it out to Sam. Not those last moments. Not what Cas really means to him. Always too close to an edge of something larger than any apocalypse they've ever dealt with.

He traces down low enough to brush across Cas' wrist, the pained look still on his face.

Dean swallows, his heart hammers hard in his throat. Timid even though the guy is unconscious, Dean grabs his hand.

His mind blanks. Turns to complete static — a jumble of half-formed thoughts about every reason he ever told himself not to.

He's an angel. The worlds ending. Always ending. He doesn't feel that way. Can't, the equipment for it's not there. It's why he leaves, isn't it? And what the fuck could ever hope to start when it's all always falling apart? When they could fall apart.

Everyone leaves.

A flash of cold prickles down his back, and he tries to takes a deep breath. It goes down ragged. There was something he read once, about picking out a sense.

Cas' breath, slow and steady. The clink of Mircale's claws on the floor. A muted buzz from the florescent lights in the hall.

He breaths again, a little easier. His fingers curls into Cas' palm, and his finger twitch against Dean in response. The dent in his brows relax, his jaw goes slack.

"S'okay Cas." He squeezes. "Just... be okay."

When his phone rings, dumped and forgotten on the other side of the room, he isn't quite sure how to let go. Like the ligaments in his hand have cemented in place, forgotten the muscle memory to make the movements happen.

When the second call comes through, Cas mumbles something. Dean's shoulder slack, and he pulls his hands back, clammy and with a slight tremor.

It's Sam. There's a small tug of guilt — he should've called him the moment he put Cas down. He knows he would've been worried sick if Sam was the one that had to go.

Sam's relieved too, promises to buy stuff for dinner on his way back from where Dean went in the Empty about fifty miles out. And he must hear something in his voice, because he stresses to go watch a movie or something and let Cas sleep it off.

Of course he's right. They knew Cas would be out cold. But leaving the room is still hard, and he lingers in the doorway until he gets a good look at Miracle's mess of tangled fur.

He hasn't brushed her hair, since that's practically what the fur is, in weeks.

"C'mon girl."

He grabs the brush from the bedside table, casts on last look at Cas, and takes Miracle to the TV room.

She hops on the couch next to him, tail thumping with excitement.

"You wanna get pretty to meet Cas later?"

She nuzzles his hand, sticks her nose against the brush, and a little bit of the stress from today lightens up.

He flips on some netflix show about baking food, and talks to Miracle as he starts in on her snout.

It's ritualistic to touch on whatevers going on with her, at this point.

As her fur smooths, he tells her about the Empty. Its piss-poor lighting, the mind boggling way directions work, how it has this awful burnt-licorice and gasoline stench clung to the nothingness of its everything.

It kinda makes his head hurt.

Almost two full episodes in, he has all her fur neat and tidy, and his little monologue has circled back to Cas. She'd know a lot about him if she could talk.

"It's hard to believe he's really back. And — and maybe it'll be good. We could, I dunno, get you a yard?" He nods, smiles. "Yeah, I bet your spoiled ass would like that. The bunker ain't a place for pets."

Miracle leaps from the couch, and someone clears their throat from the door.

Cas stands in the doorway, hunched in on himself. Dark strands of hair twist up in random directions, and the casual clothes Dean left him fit snugly.

He looks... comfortable. Like he slipped into humanity ages ago, not this afternoon.

"Cas."

He tilts his lips up, tight and sheepish. "I see you have a dog now."

"Yeah. Miracle. She uh — she helped me." He motions vaguely to his head. "Might not be batting a hundred up here if not for her."

Cas glances down at her, and the tense smile softens. "I'm very grateful then."

Almost reverent, he scratches the side of her ear.

Dean shakes his head. Blinks. Two things he never thought he'd see side by side mixed with the insanity of the day make none of this seem real.

Deep breath.

"She can — she can be there for you too," Dean says. "If you need it. Dogs are great listeners. Even the Madonna types like this one."

Cas gives a contemplative hum. "They are both blonde."

He puffs a breath of air. It's easy to forget Cas actually knows what he's talking about now, sometimes. Even if he does still miss the point by a mile.

"It was your turn."

Cas raises an eyebrow.

"To, uh, pick a movie." He motions to the seat next to him. "If you want."

Cas runs his bottom lip between his teeth and doesn't look at Dean. Doesn't say anything either. Just nods, walks over, and sinks into the couch.

It's a respectable distance. Close enough Dean would be able to sense him, far enough away they won't touch.

Miracle curls up on the other side of Cas, head flopped on his lap, right next to his balled up hands.

"Is it over?" His voice is small.

Dean doesn't have to ask. "Chuck isn't aproblem anymore." Cas sighs, slinks down bonelessly into the cushions. "We figured it out, took his powers. Jack's fixing up Heaven with it. Says he's gunna do that, find a way to put Amara back together, and then come home."

"Good. I don't think I'm up to fighting standards." He rolls his head to the side. They're close enough Dean can make out each muscle in his neck when he swallows. "You didn't have to save me, Dean. I'd — made peace with that fate."

It's bullshit. It's bullshit and Cas has to know it. He almost tells him a much, but if he can't have that talk now, then he never will.

He licks his lips. It doesn't help the dryness.

"Did you mean it?"

It's a dumb question, but one he needs answered.

Cas doesn't miss a beat. "That and more." The serenity in his words is endearing as it is cutting when he adds, "But we don't have to address it. I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

It's Dean's turn to melt with relief. "Good — that's good."

Cas winces. "I understand if you'd like some space —"

He starts to stand up, and panic seizes Dean's chest like a vice grip. He grabs his wrist and Cas freezes.

"No! God no. Cas, it — it wasn't supposed to happen like that."

He looks confused, before some amount of understanding smoothes out some of the worried lines in his face. His eyes flick down to Dean's mouth for an instant. "How was it supposed to happen, then?"

"I thought, maybe on a hunt? Or — I don't know. Just... " some place I could say it back.

Its not good enough, saying it without saying it. Cas gave a speech. He saved Dean's life, saved the god damn world. All without knowing.

He shakes his head. Starts again. He had enough practice between thoughts he couldn't shove away and late night pet-therapy. "I thought you knew. Hell, I've been scared everyone knows. And if they did, you did too, right?"

"Subtly isn't always my strongest suit."

He laughs, and it's almost on the wrong side of sane. "Don't I know it."

He can do direct.

Slow enough that Cas has time to pull back, he runs his hand up his arm, cradles it against the back of Cas' neck. He leans across the small distance and kisses him.

It's clumsy and unsure, and Cas places a skittish hand on Dean's side like he's not sure what he's allowed to have even now, but their lips mesh together in a way that feels better than anything he can remember.

When they part, he's not sure either one of them are breathing. And he can't look at Cas, not when he says it. Not yet. So he presses their foreheads together, keeps his eyes fully lidded.

"I don't know how you could think you aren't worth saving. You — you're it for me."

"Dean —"

He shakes his head, and the tips of their noses brush. "I love you more than I know what to do with. You know that right?"

Bewildered, Cas says, "I didn't."

"Yean, well. Now you do."

He scoots back in place, flushed firm against the cushion. Their hands tangle together, and their knees are touching, and it's too much and not enough. But mostly not enough. Dean dares a glance over. Cas is staring at their hands, a pleased smile on his face.

And they're on the same page.

"I think you said something about a yard when I walked in?"

Instead of answering he says, "We should retire. I'm too old for this shit."

"Entirely?"

Dean shrugs. "A hunt here and there wouldn't hurt I guess."

"We'll talk about it later." He reaches over him, grabs the remote. "I think you said it was my turn?"

Dean grins, full and toothy. "Yeah, just no more romcoms, dude. I can only take so many."

Cas nods, curt and serious. "Of course."

He does anyway, and it's the best shitty movie Dean's ever seen.

#destiel secret santa #sorry this is being posted so late in the day!!! #my internets broken at the moment so it was very difficult to get it up #and i also couldnt run it through any spelling/grammer checkers #hopefully theres nothing atrociously wrong with it #destiel #deancas #destiel fanfic

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Diego Hargreeves’ child

Diego Hargreeves x child!reader

warnings: knifes, blood, guns, death mentions, mental hospital

a/n:

prompt: anonymous: “Hi! Could you please write a “The Umbrella Academy” Diego Hargreeves x daughter reader headcanon? I always think Diego is such a overprotective softie dad ♥️♥️”

deigo really said “?????”

how dad

but also he’d just the most loving dad anyone could ever ask for

✨it’s because he was never loved by his dad✨

“hi cutie, i love you, i love you, i love youuuuu”

he locked away all his weapons so that you couldn’t hurt yourself on them

but he always missed a few and he’d turn around and see you holding throwing knives and just FREAK OUT

“no, no, no, you may not have those! knives are for big boys like me, not babies”

“give back”

“‘give back?’ are you nuts?”

diego has conversations with lil you as if you know what the fuck he means dhshshhshs

as you got older, you became more interested in his “career”

“no, i dont care if you have powers or not! you have a bedtime, that means no vigilantism, you hear me?”

“if i say ‘no’ can i be a vigilante?”

“you know what? how about you clean up the gym for al so he doesn’t evict us?”

you did not sign up for this

you really wanted to meet your aunts and uncles, but you weren’t exactly sure they knew about you

i mean, you knew you had a cousin but everyone knew about her because aunt allison was a goshdarn celebrity

“dad, i want to meet the family!”

“no you don’t”

end of discussion

despite having a bedtime, you still watched movies late at night with your dad

he really liked marvel movies

“come on, that would never happen!”

“you come from a family of superpowered kids, a robot mom, and a monkey, and you’re upset about...a guy that shoots arrows?”

“maybe i am, what’re you gonna do about it?”

you ask about umbrella academy stories a lot, you your dad usually makes it about him

“and then i punched that guy in the face! and then i stabbed him in the leg because he was a dick! bet you’re friend’s dads arent as cool as me”

*yawning bc you’ve heard this story a million times*

you go to public school

you do have your dad’s last name

which occasionally gets recognized

“woah! wasn’t your dad a superhero?”

“i have no idea what youre talking about” :)

practicing your knife throwing while diego is away, him coming home to find his knifes stuck through various targets

so proud but he had to make sure you didn’t hurt yourself

you actually had to learn how to patch him up because he did come home a bit battered and bruised several times

“im okay, y/n. no need to freak”

“dad, there is literally blood dripping on the floor will you just sit down and stay still for five goddamn minutes?”

“woah, who the fuck taught you to cuss?”

watching the news at home when your grandfather was reportedly dead

you were actually very upset because you wanted to meet him so bad

even if he was a dick

your dad came home silent and you knew he knew

“you okay?”

“oh, yeah, im better than okay!”

finally getting the chance to meet your family

“who are you?” -allison

“im, uh, y/n. diego is my dad”

*jaw dropping*

and you know what? that happened four more times (plus ben but you didn’t get to see that)

“and you are?” -luther

“who’s the...the little one?” -klaus

“well, what do you know? diego’s a dad” -five

“don’t tell me that’s...no way” -ben

“you’re diego’s? wow, i can’t believe he didn’t tell anyone” -vanya

“i...i know who all of you are” -you

diego bragging about how perfect you are while everyone simultaneously rolls their eyes

“well, y/n, maybe one day we’ll schedule a playdate for you and claire” -allison

“‘playdate?’ how old do you think i am?...but yes i wanna meet her”

“god, you’re so much like diego, it’s unsettling”

you had been secretly training at al’s gym during your dad’s late night activities

so when trouble came your way, you were able to handle yourself pretty well

“where the hell did you learn that?”

“al showed me a few moves!”

“that old man? you’re kidding”

you met your grandmother, grace, who was tasked with keeping you safe at all times

you actually loved her sm

but there was something a bit off about her

besided the fact she was a robot

klaus snuck you out so that you two could have BoNdInG tImE

it wasn’t all bad

ben was a lil choked up that he got to meet one of his niblings

“they’re perfect”

“they just stabbed someone, buddy”

“who are you talking to?”

FIVE EVEN SCHEMED WITH YOU

“okay, y/n, i need you to curve something when i throw it, got that? right at that security guard”

“what are you throwing?”

“you’ll know when you see it, make your uncle five proud”

“IS THAT A GUN”

<3 family

running into patch!!

“hey, kid, i just saw your dad. i thought i told you to handcuff him to the radiator when you were away?”

“yeah, well, he wouldve chewed his hand off so here we are”

that was the last time you saw her :/

well, your dad was now a wanted man

“what happened to your arm?”

“no”

you actually didn’t expect this family reunion to go south like this

wait—yes you did

vanya has powers????

“i thought vanya was the one without powers?”

“yeah. so did we.”

diego straight up did not want you anywhere near that

but you, again, were his child and also fuck authority you do what you want

the vibe is almost getting shot several times

by hazel, cha cha, and “commission” guys?

going 2 ur auntie’s concert 😌✨

“y/n, hide in the bathroom and stay there until i come get you”

“dad, i love you, but no”

“y/n, i love you too, but yes”

“no”

“yes”

“NO”

“YES”

you won

but in the end (or not so much) you time traveled to...1961?

without any of your family

“this is...this is not good”

understatement of the year(s)

what was a kid like you gonna do in dallas, texas in 1961

no seriously, what

it was rough, but you managed to survive on your own

and open a paper in 1963 to find a mugshot of your dad

“son of a—”

visiting dad! (two years later)

“y/n? oh my god, y/n! shit, i missed you so much! why do you look different? you’re bigger, oh god. how long have you been here?”

“2 years, dad. you?”

his hair was so LONG

“2 months”

“christ, that’s it?!”

“i have to stop jfk from being assassinated”

“what makes you think that’s a good idea???”

“its the right thing to do, wanna help?”

“shit, i guess. as long as i dont end up here”

“no promises, people in the 60’s are crazy”

diego: 👁👄👁

you: 👀

running into five on the street soon after

“uncle five?”

“no time to talk”

“okay, asshole? i’ve been here for 2 years and you dont care?”

“two years, huh? i spent 45 years in a post apocalyptic world as a 13 year old and beyond”

“i didn’t say it was a competition, dude. you kinda dropped us all at different times. at least, me and dad. he—”

“is trying to kill lee harvey oswald, i know. come with me”

finally running into your other aunts and uncles, who were so excited to see you

you ran into their arms and they picked you off the ground and you felt closer than ever after only knowing them for 10 days

dad broke out

lila too

“im your new mom!”

“you’re what?”

diego dragged you along with him almost everywhere

he had missed you so much, but he keeps forgetting you kinda grew up without him for a while longer

meeting grandpa :)

“a grandchild, huh? how unfortunate”

“bitch”

“what did you just call me?”

“a bitch.”

your dad and basically the entire table trying to hold back laughter

reggie was stunned

cold hearted just like him <3 he didn’t know if he was offended or proud

this is so confusing

diego just disappeared off the face of the earth

and assassins were on your case

“the goddamn swedes are back oh shittt im gonna die”

“y/n, just curve their bullets”

“it’s not as easy as it sounds, klaus!”

you were doomed

theres too much to go over

apparently you died on a farm????

and then you didn’t??????

and your dad was almost apart of the commission

“hey, you okay, y/n?”

“i would like to take a nap please”

“yeah, me too”

“me three!” -klaus

yeah it was never that simple 😌💕 the end

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @cullens-stuff // @lotsoffandomrecs // @takethebladeawayfromme // @that-nerd-tessa // @teenwaywardasgardian // @spidergirla5 // @sheridans-dynamos // @freya-xo // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @jay-is-groovy // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @abbiesthings // @thereagles // @ofthedewthesunlight //

#diego hargreeves x reader #diego hargreeves imagine #diego hargreeves #umbrella academy x reader #umbrella academy #umbrella academy imagine #tua #tua imagine #tua x reader #diego hargreeves x child!reader #hargreeves!reader