overwhelmed. stuck in a bathroom. about to explode. aka THE BEST TIME TO POST!!! HAAIII!! here: another bp. i was testing out that iOS force-installed app Freeform ya?? ITS REALLY REALLY REALLYLFUN... i'd never really done lasso tool art until now.. and i must say. i have been missing OUT its so fun and sharp and fast
welcome to the dark side (lie) .... your reward for joining is...
more png image ..... amazing innit.. ANWYAYSY. okay ya this pitayer is the first one i did in the app!!! thats why its... slightly more wonky... ya. i thought itd be fun to have one whole canvas of... cookie runners.. right?? IN CONCEPT IT WORKED OUT SO WELL!!!! But my app started crashing so much nadhjhd,,, later in the day i did start drawing an OC on the same page but it got so bad i couldn't efen eyedrop a colour o|-<
that's as far as i could get!! also sorry i know i dont. post abt my ocs here. but like. the way this turned out is so oddly sharp and aggressive wanjshsd... this app is casting spells on me!!! sooo messy BUT I LIKE IT. OKAY. okay bai!!! :D wait. also like. that green girl. i totally butchered her skin colour,, i was too lazy to get her ref. and i thought i could eyeball it well enough. well guess who sucks ass at eyeballingggg!!! i'll do her better some day girl i'm so sorry! okay bye forrealsies x
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coming out in ten christmases
The first Christmas
I have an inkling of my gender
My boyfriend brings me home to his family
We drive an hour in the snow to buy Pokemon X and Y on Boxing day
I introduce him to my grandparents down the road
It’s the last time I will see them alive
In a quiet voice, in an even quieter house
I ask if he would date me, if I came out as a man
He says he wouldn’t
I don’t believe him
He keeps his word
Next year,
my family knows
The aunt who tells me the next generation may get this “transgender stuff”
Buys me a shawl from the women’s section
My jock brother says it’ll make a nice housecoat
And wears it for our family photo.
It’s the last one I will be in
Next year,
my friend takes me in
Her family gives me small gifts,
Hidden sad smiles at the table
And never get my pronouns wrong
It is my first introduction to feeling like an alien
Posing as a lost cousin at a family reunion
Next year,
I try friendmas
I get everything I could think to ask for
And a few I couldn’t
The tradition doesn’t stick
Neither do the friends
It’s more of the same next year,
My mom asks me to come home for Christmas
Asking me to patch things up with my dad
I ask why that’s my job
She keeps me in the car after Chinese food,
Driving around our old neighborhood to look at the lights,
No matter how much I beg to go back to my apartment
I scream at her until I can’t speak anymore
We don’t speak for the rest of the year
Next year,
I fly halfway across the country
to spend Christmas with my favorite aunt
She gets me everything my heart desires
Doesn’t ask why I spend all my mornings in bed
And gets me winter socks from the men’s section.
She hands me the phone on the 25th,
asking if I want to speak to her brother,
My father
I will never get to spend Christmas with her again
Next year,
My best friend introduces me to her family
I get a vegetarian meal all to myself
I accidentally eat the wax
Coating the outside of their fancy cheese
We watch Jim Carrey’s Grinch,
Reciting the lines from memory,
And it almost feels like home
Next year,
My roommate and I are trapped inside
The pandemic has struck
And we don’t talk about the fact
Neither of us would be seeing our families
Even if the whole world was well
Next year
Covid roars on
Either way,
I am not invited to family dinner
I shave my head on Christmas Day
Just to feel lighter
Last Christmas,
Both my grandparents have died
And I was not at their funerals
My cousin reaches out,
to bring me home for the holidays,
I say yes.
The invitation is revoked by her mother,
As I’m getting dressed to go to their second home.
This Christmas,
My best friend is staying in her apartment,
To keep her family alive
And I stay home, away from my family,
To keep myself alive
We will spend it together,
Keeping each other alive
It will always be like this
I feel as distant from the twinkling lights,
And season’s greetings
As I do from being proudly called a daughter
Christmas is an open wound
It cannot close,
Because Christmas is never over
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Icarus flew higher and higher and higher. Until the sun was all he could see. And goodness was it a sight. It was bright. Enough so that his eyes felt like they were burning. And he could feel his skin nearly searing off. And he could feel his wings burning.
Then he was falling.
He would surely die from this height.
But who could think of death in a moment like this? He had seen the sun. Gods, it was so large and otherworldly and so… beautiful. He would die over and over again if it meant he got to nearly touch the sun- if it meant he got to feel its golden rays burning him.
Before he could; however, a warm hand wrapped around his wrist.
A man had caught him. With long golden hair and golden eyes and warm skin that nearly glowed. There was no moment of realization- no confusion or disbelief. It took no time at all for the dots to connect.
“I must say. In all my years of pulling the sun chariot… no mortal has ever tried to reach me before.” Apollo’s eyes twinkled as he held on to Icarus by his wrist and he couldn’t help but sweat nervously.
So this was divinity. A handsome strong face with a beautiful smile and shining golden eyes that hurt to look at. A bow and quiver strapped to his back with a revealing toga that barely covered his chest. It was impudent- and blasphemous. Yet Icarus could not dare to look away from him.
“Y-You’re beautiful.” He blurts out unknowingly.
The god lets out a soft chuckle, “So I’ve been told.”
Icarus nearly slips out of Apollo’s grasp before being caught by him again, “Careful… you nearly fell there.”
“I… I fear I already have”
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