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heartsofminds · 2 years

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Blooming (III)

“Scoot over then.”

(Y/N)’s eyes almost explode out of her skull. “You want me to what?”

“Jesus, chick. It was just a suggestion,” he chides, “Getting your panties all in a twist because I won’t sleep but then won’t let me sleep? Kinda counterintuitive, don’t you think?” or Rooster gets caught up from a hospital bracelet and she finally gets that kiss she wanted.

Warning: Contains curse words and mentions of an age gap.

A/N: Welcome back to part three of the Blooming series! I’m so incredibly excited to share this with you all. Thank you much for your continued support and patience. Stay tuned for more of the Blooming-verse as part four will be out soon! But for now, enjoy 10.8k words about the story of Rooster Bradshaw facing his relationship fears.

Blooming, Blooming II

(Y/N) considers herself to be a private person.

She’s an extremely private person, actually. But that’s only until someone wants to get information out of her and gives her that look. You know, the pointed one with the raised eyebrows and the slight smirk, the corners of their mouths serving as picks to the lock of all her inner thoughts.

She swore she could give Ella Enchanted a run for her money by how quickly she would fess up if simply asked for the truth.

(Y/N) partly blames herself but mostly blames her parents. Growing up in a military household with a greatly admired and high-ranked father meant that honesty and excellence were never not expected from her. And after the dissolution of her parents’ marriage, growing up with her helicopter mother who didn’t believe in keeping secrets put a nail in the coffin for her sub rosa thoughts and actions.

Her high school friends joked around with her saying that they could never sneak out or drink or do anything outside of the agenda she had told her mother before leaving the house because the minute that someone with authority asked her for the truth, (Y/N)’s mouth was running a mile a minute with the hurried apologies following suit after. She simply couldn’t help it, and her upbringing paired with her innate desire to always do good and always do what was expected of her cemented her truth telling tendencies even farther.

And so when she comes home in a stormy mood after being out past three AM and slams Penny’s guest bedroom door shut (waking Amelia up in the process who had school in the morning), her god sister knew something was up and was determined to get to the bottom of it.

Amelia is mischievous and so fucking precocious. She had been raised around adults all her life so how could she not be?

She didn’t know what the kids table at Thanksgiving looked like or what watching cartoons on a Saturday morning felt like. Hell, (Y/N) doesn’t think Amelia has ever played with a goddamn Barbie doll ever in her life, let alone relished in the thrill of going to a Build-a-Bear Workshop.

She, much like her twenty-one year old god sister, liked the more “classic” things in life. They liked Raisin Bran and sudoku puzzles. They liked older 80s movies in comparison to their more modern remakes. They liked playing Scrabble and checkers.

And while (Y/N)’s “refined” taste (which, the more she thought about it, really happened to emulate all that of an eighty year old man who resided in a nursing home) came from her own father and didn’t make an evident appearance until she was an older teenager, Amelia had always been this way.

Because of that, Amelia was a bit of an odd ball to her peers but (Y/N) loved it. Her parents had split when she was eight and because of her father’s age and her mother’s anxiety towards parenting, they never dared having another kid after (Y/N). So when her Aunt Penny announced that she was having a baby,(Y/N) was more than ecstatic.

She still remembers damn near exploding from joy when she found out Amelia was going to be a girl.

Amelia was the closest thing (Y/N) has to a sibling and despite the seven year age gap, they’re so extremely close. It’s unusual; to have someone so much younger than you somehow be on the same page all the time but with (Y/N) and Amelia, there are no questions or genuine thinking required to read each other’s minds.

They just knew how to.

And despite how much (Y/N) adores Amelia or how much Amelia looks up to (Y/N), they irritate each other like no other. Getting under each other’s skin is each of their favorite pastimes and in true sister fashion, they go from ruthless screaming matches to braiding each other’s hair while sharing funny stories about their day.

When the fighting gets really bad, (Y/N) usually drives to the closest Dunkin Donuts and buys Amelia her usual; wordlessly leaving it outside of her bedroom door. Amelia usually slips a note under (Y/N)’s door with a “One free ‘Yell at me’ coupon,” which makes (Y/N) laugh and embrace her in a huge hug stating, “I only yell with love,” which makes both of them bust out laughing at how ridiculous they both are.

Even though Amelia is rather mature for a fourteen year old and her and (Y/N) basically share the same brain cells (even though they both joke about letting the other have ownership over them the day of a huge exam), she’s still a kid. And boy, does Amelia do all the shit that kid sisters tend to do.

She doesn’t mean to be, but Amelia is fucking nosy. She’s always hated being out of the loop. In her humble opinion (which, okay she does admit that she’s only fourteen and that her credentials in the age category aren’t looking too hot), being the last to know is the deadliest punch in the gut. Being blindsided is the absolute worst, and if she can do anything to prevent it, she will.

So as she lies in bed at three fifteen in the morning because (Y/N) came home pissed and slammed her door shut, Amelia knew something was up. (Y/N) had big emotions, but not big actions. Someone or something must have had to really piss her off for her to act that way and because she’s so goddamn private, Amelia knows that she won’t spill unless she absolutely has to and she won’t unless she’s made to sweat.

And that’s what Amelia plans to do.

The younger girl is spitting her toothpaste in the sink of the bathroom that stands between her bedroom and the guest bedroom when she notices that (Y/N)’s sour mood carries over to that morning.

The door is closed and there’s no sign of life other than the faint sound of ocean waves in the background that (Y/N) has to put on in order to calm her mind to be able to sleep. It’s a quarter till eight, and (Y/N) being in bed still is extremely odd.

Amelia knows that (Y/N) is usually up and awake by now; having done her morning run or sunrise yoga or whatever the hell she usually does before Amelia gets ready to leave for school. She’s usually sitting on the porch with her mom by now, those ceramic mugs that have some cringey ass quip printed on them and sipping raspberry tea while they gab about life and college and boys.

But she isn’t, and Amelia almost convinces herself it’s a good idea to knock and see if her god sister is awake before she chickens out. Her thoughts are interrupted by (Y/N) swinging the door open harshly.

Her hair is thrown up messily and the dark circles under her eyes say that the ocean wave white noise she had on did little to assist her into slumber. The collar of the gray USD Law sweatshirt she has on sat crooked on her shoulder and her sleeping shorts are twisted. Another noticeable sign that it was a more than rough night is shown through the one sock on (Y/N)’s foot and the other being bare.

She rubs at her face with her sweatshirt sleeve and shoots daggers at Amelia with her eyes; as if she was saying “I dare you to fucking speak to me right now” to her god sister. (Y/N) brushes by without as much of a wave or a “Good morning.”

So yeah, she’s fucking pissed and cranky.

And Amelia is clever but sometimes her curiosity goes against her own best interest. Was it smart to follow (Y/N) to the kitchen when she had just woken up on the wrong side of the bed? Absolutely not, but Amelia always claimed that smart was something that she is occasionally, and not something that she is all the time.

Also, she just had to get to the bottom of this.

The honey-blonde teenager holds her breath as she waltzes into the kitchen, finding (Y/N) aggressively shaking the bag of Special K cereal into a ceramic bowl. Amelia goes to the fridge and gets out the almond milk. She shakes it and puts it next to (Y/N) who mumbles out a weak, “Thanks.” before filling her bowl and stabbing at her cereal with her spoon.

Amelia leans on the counter, eyes lasered in on the back of the older girl’s head. She was gonna get her to talk and the only way to do so is to corner her. But right now her god sister’s rage emulates that of a rabid raccoon and she’s animal control with no equipment.

She knows she’ll get her head bit off, but the void she has in her life that’s absent of her own drama desperately needs to be filled and she’ll be damned before she’s left out of anything going on with the people living in her own house.

“Are you gonna fucking speak, Meals? Or are you just gonna stare laser beams in the back of my fucking skull like a dumbass?” (Y/N) grumbles and she knows that what she said is mean and uncalled for, but she’s just really not in the mood for her kid sister’s shenanigans today.

Bradley Bradshaw really pissed her off last night and the feelings she feels are burning her up from the inside out. (Y/N)’s hurt, embarrassed, even because who the fuck does that? Who flirts and flirts and flirts and then unloads all their childhood stories before almost kissing her goodnight and then dipping out because she’s “too young”?

“Too young” her ass. She’s a woman, for Christ’s sake. A smart, likable, kind (okay, well maybe not right now with how she just answered Amelia, but usually she is) young woman who is going to law school and is a college graduate.

She’s not too young. Amelia is too young; especially to be butting her nose into (Y/N)’s business the way she is.

(Y/N) knows that Amelia is just dying to ask her what’s wrong; hopeful to get a taste of whatever drama is brewing in the older girl’s life. She can see it now - the slightly upturned eyebrows and the small open mouthed gasp that Amelia does when she’e intently listening. She also folds her hands together in front of her and hangs on to every word that’s being said because Amelia ponders long and hard over what she hears and psychoanalyzes everything about it.

(Y/N) would say that she hates that about Amelia but can never find herself to because she knows that she’s the same exact way. Her god sister’s nosy tendencies are simply learned behavior.

So as she stabs at her cereal and almost grinds her teeth as she chews because of how angry she is, she tries to find it within herself to withhold taking out her anger on Amelia. She almost throws her a bone and lets her in on what had happened, but realized that she’d have to omit so many details that Amelia would never be satisfied and would keep picking and picking and picking until she finally broke and (Y/N)’s just not ready for that. She’s not letting her fourteen year old god sister know how embarrassed she is. She’s not letting her know how little sleep she got over the entire situation or how irritated and disrespected she feels.

“Wow. Aren’t you a goddamn ray of sunshine this morning,” Amelia snarls back, already having enough of (Y/N)’s piss poor attitude. (Y/N) may be pissed, but she’s not the one who got woken up at three in the morning because of some hissy fitted rage party. .

(Y/N) drops the cereal off of her spoon back into the abyss of milk. She sets her utensil down before turning her head to the side, adjusting her vision so she can see Amelia a little bit better.

“Language. You know how your mom and I feel about you cussing,” is all she can manage to say and seriously, when did Amelia get so sassy?

Amelia rolls her eyes. She may be younger than (Y/N), but she’s certainly not a child. She’s always been told she’s mature for her age, so why is her god sister acting like the seven year age gap is a big deal now? And besides, she already has a mom and a dad.

She doesn’t need (Y/N) trying to fill in for what’s missing.

“So it’s okay for you to say an entire dictionary of cuss words but the second I say some “is it or not” cuss word you’re lecturing me?”

(Y/N) rolls her eyes. She’s totally, absolutely, positively not in the mood today. “If you’re trying to be nosy and play Nancy Drew or whatever you’re doing, please don’t try it,” she snaps, “M’not putting up with your bullshit today, Meals. Go find something else to do.”

Amelia raises her eyebrows. “Seriously?” she quips, “You wanna be like that with me when I’m not the one who pissed you off?”

(Y/N) groans because great; not only is she pissed, but now her appetite is ruined. “You’re pissing me off right now because you won’t butt out. Leave me the fuck alone.” She slides the stool away from the bar top counter and puts her bowl in the sink.

She’ll just come back and clean it later. She just seriously needs to get away from Amelia right now because she’ll explode if she’s around her pestering god sister for any longer.

“And you’re pissing me off because someone obviously peed in your Cheerios and you’re making it everyone else’s problem.”

(Y/N) rolls her eyes again and starts to stalk back up the stairs. She knows that she’s being childish and she can’t believe that she’s about to argue with a fucking middle schooler, but she’s standing her ground. The last thing she needs is Amelia teasing her relentlessly about Bradley Bradshaw and how he basically curved the fuck out of her the night prior.

Amelia follows her. (Y/N)’s not getting away from her without any answers just yet; especially taking into account that she really just wants to know what’s wrong with (Y/N) and how she can help. She may be nosy, but she also has a conscience.

“Can’t you just leave me alone?” (Y/N) damn near growls. God, why did Amelia have to be so damn stubborn? “I’m obviously mad and you’re not making my day any better!”

“Can’t you just not get all pissy and aggravated and slam doors at fucking-” (Y/N) shoots her a death glare before Amelia corrects herself.

The cussing, right.

“Freaking. I meant freaking. You can’t just be all mad and slam doors at freaking three AM when I have school and you know I was asleep,” Amelia continues, “That’s just crappy, (Y/N), and I would never do that to you.”

(Y/N) stands at the top of the stairs and angrily huffs. Amelia has a point and a pretty fair one at that but she’d rather die than back down now. That’s (Y/N)’s problem in a nutshell; she’s too goddamn hardheaded but also strives on being a people pleaser and if you asked her (or anyone on the street, really) that would be considered a combination for disaster.

“And I would never put my nose in business that’s clearly yours. Fuck off, Meals.”

(Y/N) stomps back to her bedroom and slams the door even harder than she had the night previously. She’s so enraged and she feels so stupid. She’s never been this embarrassed over a boy since she was a freshman in high school and she knows she’s being childish and she knows that what she said to Amelia isn’t fair or kind in the slightest, but she can’t help but fall back into that “being mad at the world” teenage narrative she had thought she left behind.

Hell, she’s only not been a teenager for two years but the amount of growth that she’s done since then has just drastically taken a decline. She feels like she’s sixteen again and fighting with her mother about a stupid boy who convinced her to sneak out or break her curfew or lie about where she was going or whatever melodramatic teenage drama bullshit that seems like a big deal at the time but ceases to pose a real threat the minute you move out of your parents’ home.

Amelia groans in frustration before turning on her heel. She’s not sure if her irritation is because of her lack of sleep or because (Y/N) is being, for lack of better term, a total bitch right now. The teenager slings her backpack over her shoulder, and stomps obnoxiously to her front door.

(Y/N) lays on her stomach and puts back on the ocean wave sounds she had turned on late last night and her stomach drops when she realizes that that was the background noise to the memory that had Bradley Bradshaw cupping her face and telling her that she’s too young.

ii.

Jake Seresin had really done it this time.

It wasn’t a secret that him and Bradley weren’t the greatest of friends.

Well, actually, scratch that.

Rooster and Hangman weren’t friends at all and that fact was made so obviously apparent to anyone who found themselves in the same room with the two pilots for longer than fifteen seconds.

The constant banter and low blows, the “joking” that wasn’t really a joke, the more than aggressively sarcastic handshakes and back pats; it was a limbo contest of who could go the lowest without one of them jumping up and trying to beat the brakes off the other.

It’s stupid, they know, but what else is expected when you’ve been told you were great all your life? Competition obviously rises and “survival of the fittest” starts to kick in and the sooner you can push someone out, the sooner you can be pushed into the vacancy that person had left.

Jake is charismatic and can get anyone to do his bidding if he so much as put his hand on their shoulder and stared deep into their eyes. He has a talent for getting anyone to follow him, but he’s selfish and extremely reckless. Jumping off the bridge is certainly his idea until his loyal followers do so, and then he bails after realizing how stupid the idea was in the first place. He’s a leader who never asks for a crowd, and that’s evident once he leaves them hanging.

Hence, the call sign, Hangman, but that doesn’t take a genius to decipher.

And call Bradley old school but that’s definitely not how military men should be and it drives him absolutely insane.

Bradley is more calm and is the literal epitome of a dad, but a good one. He listens intently and gives everyone his full attention. He’s stubborn but adaptable. He takes his time and plays it safe always, even when he knows that he should take a risk every now and then. He’s always looking out for other people and is constantly sacrificing his happiness and successes for the well-being of others.

Bradley is a skilled pilot; the patience and meticulous practice made him so whereas Jake was good because he was a natural (by some freakish fluke of nature). The difference between the two is their confidence and Bradley can’t wrap his head around how Jake gets a thrill from putting himself and his team in constant danger, and Jake can’t understand why Bradley acts as if he’ll spontaneously combust every time his F-18 goes up in the air.

Bradley has a tendency to parent everyone else and he never means to, and it always just sort of happens, but being told what to do (which makes joining the Navy an odd career path for him) is one of Jake’s biggest pet peeves. It’s just annoying, Hangman thinks, how Rooster corrals everyone and is constantly playing dad.

Jake already has a father; he doesn’t need a guy who’s only four years older than him trying to parent him.

Their rivalry started as just friction. They have vastly different personalities and it’s not like any of that isn’t okay. It wasn’t like either of them had to be best friends after graduation. But then Jake realized that “Holy fuck,” Rooster was good and then Rooster realized that “Holy shit,” Jake was good.

And the innate, primal need to succeed, to prove who was better and who would come out on top, just started one day and it never stopped. It was a conscious effort at first, but then it spiraled into a muscle memory-like performance.

They competed over everything. They competed over who could get their flight gear on the fastest. They competed on who could lift heavier and for longer durations of time. They even fucking competed to see who could complete a crossword puzzle fastest.

Jake and Bradley know that they’re ridiculous and that the dick measuring contests that they always seemed to be having were quite childish for grown men. They shouldn’t be fighting like rowdy first graders at recess after eating a lunch packed full of sugar, but they can’t help it and they would rather die than lose and let the other having bragging rights.

But then somewhere along the road the competition changed into an uncontrollable beast; a means to be watching each other constantly to see what could make the other tick and thus a new game was created: Who could make who lose their composure first?

To be totally fair, Bradley started the war by moving Jake’s things one day after a training session. He hadn’t meant to move the items in a way that would’ve set the pilot off, but he did and then Jake came barreling in and freaking the fuck out because his water bottle and shirt were placed in a different stall than he had originally put them. The thought to fess up and apologize definitely crossed Bradley’s mind, but he withheld.

He liked seeing Jake frantic and upset. He liked knowing that he could toy with him and that he could make the blond sweat if he truly wanted. Bradley was raised better than that, he had known, and he’s sure his mother and father were looking down on him with some disappointment about being so mean, but fuck it.

Jake Seresin was like a canker sore when you’re eating salt and vinegar chips; annoying and downright painful to be around.

Over the years and time spent freakishly observing each other, they had learned quite a bit. Bradley hated the sound of teeth scraping against utensils and Jake made sure to find a seat near Bradley but never next to him, and would bite the hell out of his fork whenever he ate his dinner. Jake loathed the sound of styrofoam rubbing together, so whenever Bradley would get handed a styrofoam to go box, he always made sure to be around Jake before opening and closing the box repeatedly. Jake knew he was doing it on purpose but couldn’t help but wonder how the hell someone could find the willpower to open and shut a fucking takeaway box over and over and over again.

And yes it was annoying and yes it garnered many eye rolls from their friends, but it was entertaining and always kept the pair busy. If anything, it was like a big brother, little brother relationship; irritating the hell out of each other but never going too far.

Except this wasn’t a big brother, little brother relationship and that they were both, in fact, fighting to be the big brother because big brothers always have more respect.

And they usually never went too far until one day, Jake just did.

He was raised by a more than conservative Baptist pastor in Texas, and Jake knew that his parents would have a cow if they ever pieced together that he was having premarital sex; let alone, premarital sex that was with someone else’s girlfriend. He was raised better and he knew it, but he was also raised in a family full of sisters and if there’s one thing he learned from having five older ones, everything was an eye-for-an-eye.

So when Bradley off-handedly joked about fucking Jake’s ex-girlfriend one day, he couldn’t help but let the comment grind his gears until his gears started turning on the perfect way to get back at the brunette pilot.

While what Bradley said was a joke and was exactly just that, Jake was plotting, and he wasn’t joking in the slightest. So the true hatred and resentment started when a leggy red-head (That amazed Jake with how flexible she was because goddamn, girls can bend like that?) was scratching at his back and calling him “daddy” in a supply closet, and he can truly say that that exact moment was when he knew that there were no limits to the competition he and Bradley Bradshaw had.

“An eye for an eye” it was, and “an eye for an eye” it would always be.

So when he notices the tension between Captain Mitchell and Rooster, Hangman can’t help but find him studying the two. He notices the golfball like bulge that emerges from Rooster’s jaw whenever he has to speak to Maverick. He notices how Maverick’s eyes nervously dart across Rooster’s face; as if he’s searching for answers in the younger man’s features without having to ask him questions.

Jake is always looking and always scheming; even going as far to ask Phoenix if she thinks Bradley is acting weird to which she rolls her eyes and says, “If this is you trying to get under his skin, please leave me out of it. Had enough of you two dumbasses in flight school. I don’t need this shit now.” And then she slammed her locker shut before slinging her duffle bag over her shoulder and leaving the base for the day.

But little to her knowledge did she know that her answer gave Jake all the information he needed. Phoenix had a protective streak to her, but she never stuck up for someone unless she felt they couldn’t do it themselves. So with the aggravated body language coming from Rooster and Maverick’s interactions in the past two days they had been training and Natasha’s head biting whenever he asked her a simple question, Jake Seresin had an sparkle in his eye and his smirk saying that he was up to no good.

He snoops around the headquarters for more evidence to further solidify his suspicion and what he finds truly falls upon him like a lucky accident.

It manifests itself as a labeled picture on the wall with Maverick Mitchell and Goose Bradshaw, arms slung across the back of each other’s necks along with Admiral Kazansky and various other pilots whom he’d encountered from his time floating from base to base; the Top Gun class of 1986.

And holy fucking shit, did Seresin have some ammunition for Bradshaw.

He likes to play dumb; like all he happens to be is a pretty face with a hot body but no one is that dense to not give Hangman credit for being intelligent. So he waits to unleash his findings until he knows Rooster is at one of his most vulnerable moments.

He waits and waits and waits and then he strikes, which sends the entire fleet of pilots into a fit of gasps and has Bradley beet red and ready to wring his neck.

Jake Seresin wasn’t afraid of many things, but the absolute anger and rage encapsulated in Bradley Bradshaw’s face was a look he had never seen before; even when he had been caught fucking that red head all those moons ago. This was different and he swears Bradley’s eyes are completely black with fury and his body emitting so much heat that Jake feels like he’s on fire himself the minute the other pilot has him by his collar.

The knife was already plunged and it was too late to back out now; no matter how truly terrified he was of Bradley in that moment. He knows he should quit, but a job half done isn’t a job well done.

And in true asshole-ish Hangman fashion, he has to be calm and collected and to twist the knife even more he adds a, “You know he’s not cut out for this mission,” which makes Bradley completely seethe and molt into one with his anger.

Jake softly grins to himself as soon as the altercation is broken up and Maverick announces that they’re done for the day. He knows that he won and Bradley lost.

Bradley can feel it too and he’s so inexplicably pissed, but nothing makes him feel more angered than the deceased father he never had the pleasure of getting to know and the stand-in, who let him down and let an entire fifteen years pass with Bradley thinking he didn’t believe in him.

iii.

(Y/N) likes to tell herself that she doesn’t hold grudges; that she’s understanding and empathetic and “noble.”

Her entire life was wrapped up in achieving the nirvana of selflessness and she doesn’t know if it’s because she was raised by such charitable and giving people or if she was born with some freakish gene that always made herself put her well-being last no matter what.

She was the kindergartener who would cry in solidarity whenever a kid scraped their knee on the playground. She was the third-grader who donated all her birthday presents to kids whose families were in need. She was the middle schooler who still invited everyone in the class to her birthday parties (even if they were weird or cruel or just downright annoying, but she could never find herself rejecting anyone). She was the high schooler who offered everyone rides home after soccer practice despite her mother yelling at her for “wasting” her gas.

She was the girl who was always said to be kind and helpful with a sweet heart and bright eyes.

But here she is on a Tuesday night at 11 PM about to crush a shot glass in her bare hand because of some stupid comment some pilot said about her age. If she could punch Bradley Bradshaw square in the face and break his stupid aviator sunglasses (and maybe his nose too, but then she figures that that’s too much harm to wish on someone), she would with no hesitation.

The main problem she’s finding with directing her anger is that Bradley wasn’t rude about it. What he said about her being too young wasn’t some idiotic flirtatious remark that came off creepy. It wasn’t an insult. It wasn’t even a true comment, and from the way he said it, it almost seemed like it was a thought he had had that was never supposed to grace her ears; as if he was thinking hard and his thoughts were too loud for his liking.

There are better things to be upset about and she knows this, but she still can’t help but feel the hot anger in her chest. It’s the same kind of anger that flourishes when you’re just on the cusp of getting what you want and it’s pulled away from you; taunting you as the picture of it grows blurrier and blurrier and you’re left screaming because you’re so damn frustrated; because you were so fucking close.

And yeah, (Y/N) does admit she’s being dramatic, but she can’t remember ever wanting someone’s attention so badly before. The last boy who she found enticing cheated on her after two and a half years together, and that was during the summer of her Junior year of college. Nevertheless, the disrespect still hurts her feelings if she thinks about it too hard and the lack of sex she’s had since then was almost insulting.

So sue her if she was hoping Bradley could provide her with a few orgasms and some cuddles. He also wasn’t a bad storyteller and despite her anger, she wasn’t blind. He was hot as hell, too.

But she just can’t get over the way he held her cheek that night. The way that his hazel eyes found her’s; searching for a reason to say what he said. She can still feel the gentle squeeze of his palm on her face. Her ex-boyfriend had tried to make that their “thing” when they had first started dating and it always made her uncomfortable.

He was too rough, too unthoughtful, and ultimately too unfaithful. She thinks her feeling borderline disgusted by her ex cupping her cheek was a foreshadowing of him cheating on her. It was ironic how he was holding her face with that same hand and then smushing the face of another girl into a pillow soon after.

But Bradley was different.

His actions were slow and thoughtful. He was gentle, almost like a child holding his mother’s good China and not wanting to drop it. Bradley was cautious and sweet and that was something that (Y/N) had never truly experienced with a man; no matter how interested or in love with her she thought he was.

She was dying for him to kiss her and dead she is because he didn’t.

“You’re too young.”

It echoes in her head and she finds her face growing hotter and her knuckles getting more white the harder she squeezed the shot glass she had in her hand. Her age and Bradley’s disdain for it rings in her ears as if it's a fact and it is one, which is the shittiest part about it all.

“You’re too young,” patronizes her mind as if she wasn’t successful and brilliant and mature.

“You’re too young,” taunts her and embarrasses her, as if she’s ten years old again and being banished to the kids’ table at Thanksgiving.

“You’re too young,” screams at her as if her lack of experience and lack of opening herself up to the world is the reasoning behind why things never seemed to ever work out for her.

And the pressure of the thoughts her mind is bogging her brain down with starts to shut off her oxygen. She can’t see the empty bar. She can’t feel the shot glass in her hand. She can’t even feel her heart beating.

Her knuckles are white from trying to hold on for some explanation, some reason, why she can’t seem to shake this statement and there’s no other thoughts floating around in her brain that allow her to dislodge it.

“Fuck you, Bradley Bradshaw,” she thinks.

And she squeezes her hands together so tight that she’s snapped out of her hateful thoughts when she feels a shooting pain in her left hand and oh fuck.

The scarlet flowing from her palm sends her into a panic and her face turns white.

Holy shit, there’s no way this is happening.

There’s no way this is happening at 11:15 PM on a Tuesday night while she’s closing at the Hard Deck with no one else around.

“Penny is gonna fucking skin me alive,” she thinks, the blood dripping down her baby blue tube top-covered torso the closer she pushes her wound to her chest. The fabric is stained purple from how quickly her blood is absorbing into it.

Napkins, she needs napkins.

And she frantically scans the bar for a table that has a dispenser on it, knowing that Penny doesn’t keep any at the bar top. Her eyes look around almost comically before landing on the man of the goddamn hour: Bradley fuckface Bradshaw who has his eyes wide and his mouth gaped open.

“Holy shit! What did you do?”

iv.

Bradley knows he should stop coming to the Hard Deck when they close, but he needs to see Penny.

He figures showing up unannounced at her house isn’t the best way to go; especially considering he hadn’t been there in close to fifteen years. It doesn’t matter if he sends her a Mother’s Day card each year or knows that she would never turn him away. Something about it doesn’t sit right with his soul.

He tends to not do a lot of things if it doesn’t settle right in his stomach.

He’s usually calm. He’s usually collected. He usually has it all together but ever since he received orders to come back to Miramar, he’s been losing it. The bags underneath his eyes are prominent and he’s been averaging a total of four hours and twenty-two minutes of sleep each night (per the Sleep Cycle app on his phone which he knows isn’t very accurate but he can certainly feel the exhaustion so he’ll let it slide).

Bradley was really set off today with Jake and Maverick and the lack of sleep he’s been experiencing. He needed guidance. Truthfully, he needed his mother and he would have rather died than admit that when she was still alive and he was a prideful eighteen-year-old, but here he is now at thirty-five with an ache in his chest and a hole he’s not quite figured out how to fill.

Penny Benjamin, his old babysitter, is the closest thing he had to a mother now and he just has to find her.

So Bradley barrels into the Hard Deck and slams the door open on his quest to find Penny and figure out why the fuck he’s feeling this way.

The jukebox has been turned off and all the stools are stacked on the tables. The Hard Deck is a sorry excuse for a hangout spot at this hour and the smell of draft beer and scotch that usually soaked the atmosphere was gone; dried up like water spilled on the sidewalk on a hot day.

Bradley wrinkles his nose, using his curved pointer finger to roughly rub the end of it; a nervous tick he developed when he was a kid.

He doesn’t know why he feels so nervous to see Penny. She was comforting and sweet; the best kind of woman and someone who Bradley could say he trusted with his entire life. He used to say the same about his Uncle Maverick, but like they say, things change.

And things change indeed when he bursts through the doors and sees Penny nowhere in sight.

Well, fuck. (Y/N) is Penny’s replacement, he guesses.

The avalanche of actions tumbles down on him the minute he sees her; baby blue tube top sitting perfectly pretty on her body and her shoulders slightly shiny from either sweat or leftover tanning oil she may have put on earlier in the day. The sight makes Bradley’s mouth water with want and dry with embarrassment, simultaneously. His eyes drink in the sight of her face and his palms can feel the ghost of her cheek he held the night before.

(Y/N) has a frown on her face and is dissociating. The shot glass in her hand and the purple rag she has in the other serve as simple distractions for her hands. Bradley takes in how she doesn’t look up at him and how white her knuckles are - almost like she’s holding onto dear life to keep her from spazzing out.

And then it clicks that she’s probably angry with him and Bradley, despite his better judgment, decides that he needs to do some damage control.

He’s such a fuck up, he thinks, and he can’t afford to fuck someone else up in the process too.

“(Y/N)?” he asks softly, cautiously approaching the bar top; eyes swimming in her appearance to see if she was okay.

She doesn’t meet his gaze. She just stares ahead, her fingers gripping the glass in her hand so hard that her arms are shaking.

“Hey! Are you okay?” Bradley asks again, footsteps approaching her cautiously.

A small pop, a sound that could be made by someone stepping on some small fragments of glass with their boots on, can be heard and Bradley is just astonished. The crimson falling from her hand gives proof of what she had just done; her eyes widening comically and her face looking solemn like a child who had just been caught stealing cookies from the jar.

Her face is drained of color and Bradley figures it still hasn’t clicked that he’s in front of her. She clutches her hand to her chest and the fabric of her shirt is covered in blood. Bradley’s never done well with blood and other things like that; almost threw up all over himself whenever he would skin his knees when he was little.

But his instincts kick in and he lives up to his call sign: Rooster. He’s about to corral her and protect her the best he can. He has to.

“Holy shit! What did you do?” he yells, rushing towards her.

She looks at him wide-eyed and no words can rush out of her gaping mouth. She looks fearful and shocked. While he suspects her injury isn’t extremely drastic (okay well getting a shot glass crushed in your hand has to hurt like a bitch, he admits), she’s bleeding a lot and she’ll definitely need stitches.

“I-I don’t know. Fuck, my hand,” she pauses before turning to him again, “Fuck! Penny’s gonna kill me! I got blood all over the bar. Oh my God, she’s gonna skin me!”

Rooster shrugs off his Hawaiian shirt and pulls the white tank top underneath off by its straps. He needed to get her something to help her apply pressure and absorb the blood. He knows that the thin, poor excuses for napkins Penny has at the bar won’t do much to help, and asking her to take her tube top off to wrap around her hand would be a little too much.

She definitely can’t have on a bra with that top. He had been around enough girls in his life to know that for a fact and besides, it wasn’t like he was here to make her uncomfortable purposely.

“No she won’t,” he comforts. He has his shirt in one hand and folds it vertically to maximize the surface area.

“Here,” he directs, taking her arm gently and inspecting her wound, and God, did that glass cut fucking deep.

Two deep cuts carved their way into her left hand and the pools of crimson flowing from them tell Bradley all that he needs to know.

She indefinitely needs stitches.

Bradley wraps the tank top around her palm and instructs her to hold it tight. She presses her lips in a faint line and tries to calm herself.

One deep breath in, one deep breath out. One, two, three. One, two, three. One, two, the-

“Where’s your purse? I’m taking you to the ER.”

She narrows her eyes at him. Now he wants to play hero, she thinks. If it weren’t for him, she wouldn’t be in this situation at all.

“I can drive myself,” she snaps.

He chuckles and shakes his head and she instantly feels patronized. It was the kind of laugh her babysitters used to do whenever she asked if ten was a grown-up age. Newsflash, it wasn’t and she came to know that pretty quickly, but not before she felt the fury and embarrassment of being chortled at; especially when she had done nothing amusing.

“Really? You want blood all over your car? And what’re you gonna do about using your turn signals,” he tries to reason, “You don’t have the fingers to do that, chick.”

And God, does she want to punch him in his stupid, handsome face.

“Fuck you,” she mumbles underneath her breath. No matter how upset she was, she couldn’t not agree that he had some valid points. Being a bitch got Amelia pissed at her earlier. The last thing she needs is to be left hanging with glass in her hand with no ride home because of her own childish emotions.

Thank God he didn’t hear her.

“Where’s your purse? I’m locking up and taking you to the hospital.” She opens her mouth to argue with him again, to insist that she can call an Uber or Penny, but Bradley shuts her down.

“Non-negotiable.”

She puts her head down like a scolded puppy and points to the back by the kitchen with her uninjured hand.

Rooster offers her a warm smile. “Good girl,” he says, patting her shoulder as he walks past her to grab the bag from the back.

He tosses the keys to his Bronco on the bar top. “If you want, you can start the car. Just promise not to drive off with it?” He offers her a weak smile.

(Y/N) puffs and exhales her annoyance. “Can’t promise I’ll be there still once you lock up.”

Bradley knows that she won’t take off. She can be snippy and has proven it to him time and time again with her quick remarks and her attitude toward him right now, but to her core, she’s a good person. She would never intentionally do something like that to anyone; no matter how pissed off they had made her.

As he hears the front door to the Hard Deck open and close with (Y/N)’s exit, he looks up at the clock. It reads 11:30 PM and fuck, waking up tomorrow is gonna be a pain in the ass, he knows. But he would rather have a late night with her than his own thoughts.

And yeah, Bradley Bradshaw thinks he can start to get used to the smart ass girl sitting in the passenger seat of his car right now.

“Are you planning on buttoning up your shirt anytime soon? I’m sick of the nurses coming by and gawking at you,” (Y/N) gripes, “Giving you all the attention when I’m the one with my hand damn near hanging off.”

Bradley scoffs. “You’re being dramatic. And besides, this is kind of your own fault. No one told you to turn into the Incredible Hulk and crush a shot glass with your bare hand.”

The emergency room is bustling with people; moms in labor, car accidents left and right, and people coming in screaming in pain. There’s no way her low “high” maintenance stitches would be taken care of any sooner than later. That was predetermined the minute they decided to drive instead of calling an ambulance.

It’s nearing 2 AM and (Y/N) is still clutching Rooster’s white (well, dark red now) tank top in her left hand and with a sulky frown on her face. Her ass hurts from the vinyl plastic that serves as an awful mattress that makes up an ER bed. She knows that Bradley is more than uncomfortable from the way he shifts constantly in the mossy blue chair next to her bedside.

She ignores his statement. What she had done was rather childish and she can’t come to grips with it herself, so what does she look like telling the person who caused her rage-induced tantrum?

“You’re sunburnt,” she states. That’ll have to do for now. Bradley already knows a lot about her. He doesn’t need to know everything.

“In a sexy Baywatch kinda way?” he jokingly asks and (Y/N) gives him a soft laugh.

“No. Your chest is pink,” she continues, “More of a Patrick Star kind of way.”

“You like it though.”

“We’re here to fix my hand. Not your self-confidence.”

Bradley laughs before starting to button his shirt up. “You’re a hoot, chick.”

(Y/N) raises her eyebrows. In the past two and some hours she’s spent with Bradley Bradshaw (and the various other times she’s been with him, but she’s not sure that those can actually count for something) she’s learned a lot about his mannerisms.

He’s always tapping his foot or rubbing his hands up and down his thighs when he’s sitting down. He uses old people's jargon. He leans on his right arm more than his left and he’s always checking his watch. When he gets tired he mumbles and then swipes his hand over his face before sitting up straighter.

A big yawn comes from his pink lips and (Y/N) knows that she should speak up. He has to be up at five AM tomorrow morning for training at six. He should at least be able to go home and get some sleep.

“Bradley?” she softly asks.

“Hmm?” he answers, slouching down in his seat a little bit more but instantly shooting up to sit straight.

(Y/N) chuckles softly and Bradley can’t deny that the sound makes his heart melt the smallest bit.

“You can go home if you need to. I’ll get stitched up and figure out a ride.”

Rooster sits up straighter; confusion plaguing his features. “Why would I leave you here?”

Her eyes widen. Holy shit, he wasn’t planning on leaving anytime soon.

“You have to be up early tomorrow. Just go home. I’m a big girl,” she flexes the small and albeit mushy muscles of her right arm, “I can handle it.”

“Are you kidding? A shot glass took you out. No way I’m leaving you at the hospital by yourself.”

And like how it was at the Hard Deck, the look he shoots her tells her that what he said is “non-negotiable.” He was staying, driving her home, and that was final.

“You need sleep, Bradley. You can’t just pull an all-nighter and then go and operate a plane. That’s just dangerous,” she lectures and Bradley lets out a yawn during her sentence.

She almost says some snide remark about him being rude and how she’s not that boring but Bradley beats her to fill the silence with his voice.

“Scoot over then.”

(Y/N)’s eyes almost explode out of her skull. “You want me to what?”

“Jesus, chick. It was just a suggestion,” he chides, “Getting your panties all in a twist because I won’t sleep but then won’t let me sleep? Kinda counterintuitive, don’t you think?”

She’s at a loss for words but he can’t have the final say. No one else could ever have the final say with her.

“Be my guest,” she says as she scoots over on the ER cot and makes enough space for him to lay down.

Rooster smirks to himself. He didn’t think that would work, let alone work on her. She doesn’t know it and he sure as hell will never tell her, but his heart was racing during that entire interaction. The rejection would have been rather embarrassing; especially considering they didn’t know how soon she could get stitched up and that he promised to drop her off at home.

He slides onto the bed next to her but he’s too broad. His shoulder is nudging her off the bed and he knows that she’s uncomfortable but is such a giver that she won’t say so and would let him fall asleep like that if he really wanted to.

But Bradley’s not an asshole (at least he isn’t one consciously) so he speaks up after he clears his throat.

“Yeah, this isn’t gonna work. Not at all,” he says and turns his head to the side to look at her. Her eyes tell him that “Well no dip, shit.” but he knows that she wouldn’t dare say it out loud. Not right now when she feels indebted to him for driving her to the hospital and staying with her while she waits.

He nudges her shoulder before sliding back out of the bed. Bradley reaches for her right hand. “Here, budge up.”

He pulls her up as if she weighs nothing and she stands in awe as he lays down first on the bed but spreads his legs. And oh, now she knows what he’s doing.

“Come lay down with me. You deserve to sleep some, too,” he says and she cautiously meanders her way to lay between his legs; her back pressed to his chest and her head falling into the crevice between his neck and shoulder.

“Won’t your arm fall asleep or something? I just don’t wanna be a bother.”

Bradley lets out a puff of air before wrapping both his arms around her front. His hands are joined together beneath her sternum.

“(Y/N)?”

“Yeah?”

“Shut up and go to bed.”

She rolls her eyes but she can’t fight him on it. And as they lay there she can hear the soft snores of the older man laying behind her and allows herself to drift off to a comatose state as well.

vi.

The doctor comes in about an hour after they doze off.

She’s a short woman with dark hair and tan skin; some crow's feet by her eyes and the skin on her hands slightly thinned. She looked kind and motherly and as she pulls the curtain back softly, she finds the two dead to the world in their slumber.

Doctor Tharp has to stop herself from audibly cooing.

The position (Y/N) and Bradley are in makes her think of her and her husband years ago. Lovebirds, she thinks, and while she would rather sit there and stare at them in awe, she knows that she has to get this poor girl stitched up and sent on her way home as soon as she can.

She nearly had a cow when she had heard that they had been waiting to see a doctor for stitches since 11:30 the night before. How the hell they had slipped through the cracks? She doesn’t know, but she makes a mental note to be extra kind to them while she performs her services.

Doctor Tharp gently shakes (Y/N) awake; the younger girl stirring with a gasp and some anxiousness before a hand is placed on her shoulder.

“Good morning, (Y/N). Have a good rest?” the doctor asks and (Y/N) hopes that this is who is going to stitch her up and send her on her merry way.

“It was okay. Would’ve been better if bozo here wasn’t snoring in my ear the entire time,” she answers and that makes Doctor Tharp laugh softly.

“Let’s get you stitched up,” she says, and (Y/N) unwraps Bradley’s arms from around her midsection and scoots closer down the bed to be near the tray that holds the instruments needed for her stitches.

Doctor Tharp numbs the area with lidocaine and asks her to move her fingers and her thumb on her left hand and as she starts suturing the wound and picking out the shards of glass left in her skin, she finds things to talk about with the younger girl.

(Y/N) tells her the basics that she’s seemed to be telling everyone older than the age of twenty-one these days; that she just graduated from undergrad and that she was going to law school in the fall, that she’s not from here and visiting her godmother, that she loves California and doesn’t know why she left it.

And Doctor Tharp knows she shouldn’t and it goes against her own beliefs but she just has to know who the young man sitting behind (Y/N) is and wants to comment on how sweetly he was holding her just a few moments prior.

“You and that boy are such a sweet couple,” she says and (Y/N)’s eyes bulge out of her skull.

“Oh me and Bradley? No. No, no,” she starts and she knows that she’s rambling. She does it quite a bit when she gets nervous and doesn’t know what to say.

Her damn Ella Enchanted gene is kicking in.

“We’re just friends. Sorta just met a week and some change ago,” she answers and while what she said wasn’t a lie in the slightest (they were friends and they did just meet not that long ago) she can’t help but feel the ache in her heart that adds that she wants more than a friendship from him.

But she can’t risk sounding ridiculous or getting ahead of herself before the race even starts, so she leaves her statement at that; just a statement and not a wish.

“Well, you’re quite cute friends, then.” Doctor Tharp says. She can tell that what she had said had made (Y/N) uncomfortable.

Too far.

It takes (Y/N) all of ten minutes to get stitched up before Doctor Tharp pats her arm with a smile and tells her that she’ll have the papers for proper care at the front desk.

“You take care. Of yourself and your heart,” the older woman says and (Y/N) knows that she should find some wisdom in her words, but they almost sound like a sort of doomed prophecy.

Whatever, she thinks. She’s just excited to get home and to sleep in the comfort of her own bed.

“Bradley,” (Y/N) whispers, shaking his bicep to get him to stir. He’s like a lump on a log, soft snores coming from his mouth and his head thrown back. His arms have crossed themselves over each other and made a home on his chest to replace the space (Y/N) had taken up before she moved.

“Bradley!” (Y/N) shakes him again.

He still sits asleep; completely dead to the world.

(Y/N) twists his nipple through his shirt and bingo. He wakes up with a scream and shoots daggers at her with his glassy eyes.

“M’all stitched up. We can go now,” she says and they exit the stall and make their way to the front desk where the charge nurse goes over how to properly clean her stitches and that she’d need to be back at the hospital in a week to get them removed.

She gives the charge nurse a weak smile and her and Bradley walk back outside to his parked Bronco; the ocean breeze making the night sky chilly and (Y/N) shivers. He notices as he opens the passenger door to let her in.

He rounds his way to the front and locks the doors before sliding into his seat.

“Cold?” he questions and she gives him a slight nod.

He purses his lips before turning the key in the ignition and starting the car. His hand instantly finds the heat dial and turns it up and they pull out of the parking lot.

“Penny’s house. Right?” he breaks the silence again and (Y/N) nods, leaning her head on his window.

The fifteen-minute ride from the hospital to Penny’s driveway is quick; the stillness of the night comfortable and washing them in warmth.

His Bronco is parked in the driveway before (Y/N) turns to him again.

“Before I go, I have to ask one more favor,” she says and Bradley raises his eyebrows in amusement.

“Not gonna ask me to donate a kidney to you or something like that. Right?” he jokes and she playfully rolls her eyes at him.

“No, you dinky dink. I just need you to rip my hospital bracelet off. They put it on my right hand and I can’t use my left to cut it off.”

Bradley reaches over and takes her hand without hesitation and pulls at the plastic band wrapped around her wrist.

“Thank you,” she sheepishly praises, “Thank you for everything. I could never owe you enough.”

Rooster grins, all the anguish of the day forgotten with the dopey-eyed grin he gives her.

He doesn’t say anything. He just holds her palm in his hand; the action muscle memory and leans forward; their forehead resting against each others.

Her breath hitches in her throat because she swears to God if he doesn’t kiss her tonight she might rip out her stitches with her teeth and jump off of Penny’s goddamn roof.

“Please,” (Y/N) whimpers and she didn’t mean for her request to be said out loud.

Thankfully, Bradley ignores her words. She doesn’t know how she would live down the embarrassment of that one if he did manage to bring it up just then.

He presses their lips together. His lips are plush and soft; the right amount of dry and moist. They move in sync with hers, molding together like the perfect puzzle. His kiss is deep but gentle, all-consuming but allowing her space if she wanted it. He kisses her once. Twice. Three times. And then he pulls away, his hand still on her cheek as he licks his slips subtly.

She’s certain Bradley Bradshaw needs to add “perfect kisser” to his resume if he hasn’t already.

“Didn’t take you as a beggar, chick,” he says, and fuck, there it is. That smart alecky remark she was waiting for.

“If that’s the case, I’ll go inside and not give you my number,” she teases and Bradley feigns a gasp.

“You wouldn’t. Don’t leave me out to dry now. Your blood was all over my shirt at some point. Too late to turn back now.”

She gives him a toothy smile; one that’s reserved for her happiest and flirtiest moments.

(Y/N)’s grabbing a napkin from the middle counsel of his car and a pen from his cupholder. She scribbles her phone number down on the napkin with a cute, “Text me! :)” written after it.

She gets out of the Bronco and shuts the door, damn near running inside and waving at Bradley through the window of the living room where she can see his car in view.

Bradley just shakes his head and smiles with glee.

vii.

One thing Natasha Trace was proud of was how well she could read people.

Any boyfriends her sisters ever brought home didn’t have to get the stamp of approval from her father. Oh no, they had to get the stamp of approval from her.

And she had always been right. She knew the ones who lied about their jobs or the ones who were chronic cheaters (because they had done it so much they were pros at hiding it, just not from Natasha) or the ones who were just downright fucking nuts.

So if she can read people she had barely spent ten minutes with and could draw up a pretty good judgment of character, she knew that her analysis of people she knew well was never wrong.

When Bradley Bradshaw, her right-hand man and one of her best friends, pulls up to her government-supplied housing in his Bronco at 5:25 the morning after his huge blowup at Hangman, she knew something was off.

He didn’t have that shitty cassette mixed tape playing like he usually does and he’s basically inhaling a peach-flavored Red Bull. The thing about Bradley and energy drinks was that Bradley never drank them unless he was about dead from exhaustion.

And from their text exchange last night, he was home at 8 PM and had all the intentions of going to bed soon.

And well shit, that was apparent to be a lie.

He’s uncharacteristically quiet. Rooster wasn’t a morning person but once he was awake, he was awake and was always ready to chat which drove Phoenix absolutely crazy, but the silence they’re sitting in on their way to base is deafening. She knows something is up, yet she can’t quite put her finger on it.

“Good sleep?” she asks, testing the waters to see if Bradley would lie to her.

He curves his pointer finger and rubs it against the tip of his nose. This bastard was about to lie to her.

She can feel it.

“Great, actually,” he says with no delay so she knows that he’s not telling the truth.

Phoenix knows that Rooster doesn’t do well with confrontation. He’s a born people-pleaser and anything that wasn’t able to be handled maturely made him want to get up and flee. She’d save calling him out for later.

Besides, they had bigger shit to worry about for the time being; one of those being the fact that they’re being sent on a suicide mission in three weeks.

Natasha turns her body to the side of the car and looks out the window until something catches her eye. She turns to look at Bradley and sees that his eyes are cemented on the road. She bends down to pick it up swiftly; her movements so fast and contained that from Bradley’s peripheral vision, it just looked like she moved a little bit to get comfortable.

It’s a fucking hospital bracelet and as she turns it around to read what’s on it, she sees a name she doesn’t recognize and her eyes nearly bulge out of her skull when she sees the birth year.

The year starts with a 20 and she feels sick to her stomach.

There’s no way Rooster had a little girl in here. There’s no way that that’s the reason he’s acting so weird. There can’t be.

And then she starts counting the current year from the year on the bracelet, and then it clicks that, “Oh shit, this chick isn’t underaged.”

She’s just young, and math has never been Natasha’s strong suit.

She audibly exhales which makes Bradley turn his head to look at her and she stuffs the bracelet underneath her thigh before snaking it down to her pocket.

“You okay?” he asks and Natasha eagerly nods.

“Yeah, just a little jittery,” she answers and Bradley nods in agreeance.

He brings his Red Bull back up to his lips before taking a swig and placing it back down in the cup holder.

“Me too.”

#bradley bradshaw #rooster bradshaw #rooster x reader #rooster top gun #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley rooster bradshaw x reader #rooster x you #top gun #top gun maverick #miles teller #mt #rooster bradshaw fic #rooster bradshaw fanfic #rooster fanfic #bradley bradshaw fic #writes #rooster

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buckyownsmylife · 4 days

Text

out of the woods (chris evans x famous!reader smut)

the one where Chris watches an interview of you on the Ellen show

Warnings: mention of small stature in comparison to Chris, smut thoughts, Ellen Degeneres trash talking/thinking, cursing, mention of prescription medicine, talk of age gap (reader is younger than Chris), jacking off, daddy kink

WC: 3k

A/N: this doesn't really have an ending, so if you all like it, I might make a series out of it - the idea is that you are also famous (for acting, singing, writing) and have been friends with Chris but there's always this underlying tension between the two of you. It goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway: no, he's not married in this story nor do I intend to feature Alba in any part of it whatsoever.

Chris’ P.O.V.

I was scrolling through Twitter when I realized some fans were tagging me in a short video of Y/N on Ellen DeGeneres’ show. I knew she had gone there by herself, mostly to promote her new album, but also to give some publicity for our movie, so I was aware that she would probably talk about me at least a bit… Curiosity got the best of me and I clicked the link to check the video for myself.

She looked gorgeous as always, her hair down in that way I loved so much and her skin seemed to be as soft as ever under the mini dress she chose to wear, her legs stretching out and making her look taller than she actually was. I chuckled, remembering just how small she looked by my side.

I remembered one time when I lifted her up, bridal style, and spun her around the pub we had close to the set, after the Patriots had won a game. Despite not understanding the game, she tagged along and celebrated every time I got excited, like the cute person that she was. I got so transfixed by her giggles back then. They were the sweetest sound and the only thing I heard, despite the fact that we were in the middle of a very loud bunch of dudes.

I found myself imagining again, as I had then, what it would be like to have her under me, trapped by my arms in bed, or better yet, against a wall, only my thighs securing her in place while I made her moan with my touch. How would she sound? Or, better yet, how would she feel?

Christ.

Shaking my head, I tried to gather my thoughts so as to not let them stray too far in that direction, something I didn’t have much success in doing, despite the fact that I had been practicing that simple habit every single day since I met her. But it was proving to be a nightmare. She was just far too tempting.

Shaking my head once more, I focused on the video in front of me. My heartbeat had sped up as soon as it started, but I tried to tell myself it was because I was scared for her, since I knew how Ellen could get invasive sometimes.

“So, Y/N…” She started, eyeing my co-star. “You have just finished working on a movie with someone we’re very familiar with, isn’t it?”

Y/N giggled, nodding at the blonde woman. “I suppose so. We have just finished the promotion for it, maybe you guys have already seen it?” She asked the crowd, who went nuts at her. It was sweet to see this kind of feedback, I truly believed in our movie and the fact that I got to know her was just an added bonus.

“For those of you who don’t know what we’re talking about, it’s called ‘Be Here Now’ and it’s currently in a theater near you. Y/N stars alongside Chris Evans, who we love so dearly here, and they play brother and sister as they try to reconnect after their parents' passing.”

More applause at that. I couldn’t stop myself from rolling my eyes at her idea of love. Last time I was there, she made me pretty uncomfortable, and I knew I wasn’t the only one who felt that way.

“So, how was the process for you? We know you’re familiar with the filming process, since you star in your own series ‘Evermore’, that sent you to stardom, along with your songs, but you had said before you’d never act outside of it, since your true passion relies on music. What changed your mind?” Ellen sat back as she said that, already comfortable with the fact that something good would come out of this interview, since Y/N had been pretty vocal about what made her decide to do the movie, even with me.

“Chris did, actually. Or, in fact, the fact that he was cast in it.” A chorus of “aws” echoed around the room and there was no way to know if they were real or prompted, but they were quickly interrupted by the host.

“So, you were a fan?” She instigated, as to what Y/N nodded again.

“Of course. Well, my mom more than me, but I was the one who introduced his work to her, so…” She poked her tongue out at the camera, to which my heart (and my cock) jumped in response. “Ever since I got into this, when I first had the idea for Evermore with James, I told him time and time again I would never act outside of this, because I had no intention whatsoever on becoming an actress. I have always been in this for the music. Well, the writing. I’m a writer, I like writing scripts and songs, I’ve fallen into this performer thing by accident. But I’ve always been adamant about the fact that if I ever had the opportunity to act alongside Chris, I’d take it. It doesn’t matter that I don’t think I’m good enough. It didn’t even matter if the script was terrible, which thankfully wasn’t the case, I just really admire him and his work and I would never live with myself if I turned this opportunity down.”

Even though I knew most of this, I couldn’t help but to gloat at the fact that this incredible woman actually admired me. She was so much better than me in so many things, even acting, and she still thought I was great enough to get her to participate in a movie.

“So, what I’m hearing is, you have a little crush, that’s right?” And there it was. The coup. Of course. That evil wench…

“That’s what you took out of everything I said? Jesus, Ellen, has anyone ever told you that you listen like a man?” Ouch. That one was perfect. Being the ambassador for females and lesbians everywhere, it couldn’t not hurt her, especially coming from someone as angelical, sweet and universally-loved as Y/N. I appreciated the quick second her smile faltered before it became plastered on her again.

“No, I haven’t heard that before… But tell me, have you met any of the other Marvel actors? I mean, granted, there are a lot of them now, but especially those who have worked closely with Chris?” Y/N shrugged at that.

“I have been friends with Elizabeth Olsen for a very long time, we’re very close, but other than that, no. I haven’t had the chance to properly meet, or rather, hang out with any of them.”

“Who’s first on your list?”

“Anthony Mackie,” Y/N promptly responded, getting a few laughs and claps from the audience.

“My, you had that answer ready” Ellen teased, to which Y/N simply shrugged again.

“We talk through social media sometimes and I know for a fact he’s hilarious. I hope we get to meet sometime. I might just have to bug Chris about it.” She had already, in fact. I couldn’t wait to introduce them to each other and I was already planning my next party just to be able to make that happen.

“What about Sebastian?” Ellen asked, a glinter of something extremely suspicious in her eyes.

“Sebastian Stan? No, we haven’t met, but I’d love to get the chance to someday. He seems extremely sweet and I know he’s very talented and Chris loves him, so I think it’s a matter of time until it happens.”

“I heard somewhere you had a bit of a crush on him, right? Even if you don’t admit that you have one on Chris?” This fucking woman. I could fucking kill her right now. But, to my surprise, Y/N simply laughed.

“Truly, you have got to check your hearing sometime soon, because that is absolutely false.”

“Really?” Ellen pushed, to which Y/N beamed even brighter at her.

“Positive.” A beat as the two women stared at each other down. “I think what you meant is that I have had a huge crush on his character, Bucky Barnes.” Y/N explained, laughing at the host. “I admit that only happened after I saw Sebastian’s portrayal of him, but my attraction to a fictional character can’t be really connected to him.”

Ellen nodded, obviously not paying attention to anything she was just saying. “Well, let’s figure out who do you actually feel attracted to, shall we? Let’s play fuck, marry or kill!”

The audience screamed and, to my surprise, Y/N didn’t even blink, a patient smile painting her lips as she calmly watched the interviewer. “So, Y/N, between Anthony, Sebastian and Chris, who would you rather fuck, marry or kill?”

Y/N shook her head, still smiling at the older woman. “I couldn’t possibly answer truthfully to this question, Ellen, mostly because I am not capable of feeling carnal attraction to people I have never met, but I can 100% assure you that I would marry Chris without blinking twice if there was a choice.”

My heart skipped a beat at her words. The crowd went crazy, obviously satisfied with the answer.

“And you’re sure you don’t have a crush on him?” Ellen’s eyes glistened with mischief, as she stared at the younger woman.

“Ellen, I think the question here is… Are you sure *you don’t have a crush on him?” The laughs from the audience was the last thing to come from the video before it stopped, and I found myself echoing them in the silent living room. Oh my, how I missed this girl.

I tapped my fingers nervously on my jean-clad thigh, looking around the room. I had been staying in Boston with my family for the last few weeks, since the movie premiered and we had finished promotion, and I had found myself constantly calling her to share funny stories from my nephews or to hear about her day. I knew she wanted to meet my family, she had always said she admired the fact that we were so close, despite there being so many of us.

My mom obviously loved her, having been a fan of hers long before I even heard about her existence. So what if…?

Before I could second-guess myself, I pressed call in the name of the woman I had been thinking about. The phone rang three times before she picked up, stopping me from giving up on this crazy idea.

“Hey, Chris! How are you? I missed talking to you, it’s so weird seeing you everyday for four months and then suddenly not at all anymore.” I know I was literally forty, but I literally melted at this girl’s words.

“Did you now? Is that because you wish we were married, so we could see each other everyday?” Her breath hitched as she realized I had seen the video and I could just imagine the cute little embarrassed expression she was probably sporting right now. I tried to ignore the fact that my words and tone of speaking had suddenly become way too similar to when I was flirting with a girl.

“Fuck, you saw the interview.” I had never heard Y/N curse before, so the fact that I suddenly had no control over my mouth could be explained by the unavailability of blood in my head, since it had all gone south.

“Come stay with me for a while,” I spilled suddenly. Silence was the only answer I got from the other side of the call and my heart sped up in a way that only happened when I was truly anxious. I was already cursing myself out for scaring the poor girl when she finally answered.

“Are you serious?” She asked, her voice barely over a whisper. It was obvious how vulnerable she was feeling, and a sense of overprotectiveness overcame me. “Please don’t joke about this, Evans. This better not be a prank. ‘Cause I really do miss you a lot.”

Fuck indeed. There was no way something good would come out of this idea, but there was no way I would go back either.

“Of course I’m being serious. Come to Boston. You can stay with me, but I think my mom is going to steal you before you even settle in.” A large breath came from the other side.

“Okay. Okay! I’m going to pack my bags. Yay! I’m so excited!” She was clearly jumping up and down with the perspective of what was to come, and I couldn’t help the smile that painted my lips not only at her cuteness, but also due to my own excitement at her arrival.

“Great! I’ll be waiting.” My heartbeat still hadn’t gotten back to a normal speed. “Text me the details of your arrival, I’ll pick you up at the airport.”

“Chris, I don’t think that’s such a good idea…” I knew what she meant. If someone caught sight of us together at the airport, or even the fact that she was here in Boston, all hell would break loose in the press.

“Shhh, don’t worry about it, baby girl. I’ll take care of it.” I froze, only then realizing what I had just called her. A few seconds ticked by while I silently freaked out, wondering how I could brush this over, when she intervened.

“Thanks, Chris. That was pretty much the best thing I’ve ever heard. I just might forgo my prescription medicine while I’m over there, because you’ve been able to completely relax me with just two sentences.” She giggled and if I was at first leaning towards thinking she was sarcastically teasing me, just by the nature of her words, the tone of her voice made it clear that she actually meant what she had just said.

Once again, I was at a loss for words, especially because I couldn’t help but to allow myself to imagine that this was her, flirting with me a little bit. The blood I so desperately needed in my brain had once again left to pump another organ full of life. I was saved from having to answer, though, as Y/N quickly wrapped up the conversation.

“I’ll text you the details of my flight in a little bit. See you soon, angel.” She hung up before I could process the nickname she had given me.

“Fucking hell,” I whispered, finally relenting and getting up from the couch to take a shower to rub one off.

I had found myself in this situation more times than usual after meeting Y/N. Normally, I’d only do it out of boredom, preferring to fuck someone whenever I’d get sexually frustrated. But the last few times I had taken girls from parties into my bedroom, I could only see her. Y/N. And I hated how disgusting I felt after it was done, the fact that I didn’t care about the girl I just fucked and the fact that I imagined my younger friend.

So now I resorted to this kind of activity. As the warm water started to hit my body, I allowed my right hand to travel the extent of my body until I found my hardened member. “Fuck,” I found myself whispering into the bathroom as I tugged on my cock. Images that I had spent a lot of time concocting in my head flashed in front of me, all of them starred by Y/N.

I imagined her nude body here with me, under the falling water. How her breasts would heave with every breath she took. Would she be as filled with desire for me as I was for her? I imagined the path the warm droplets of water would run across her skin and how I wished I could lick its remnants.

Maybe she’d fall to her knees before me, looking up from under her eyelashes with that coy expression that drove me crazy. Her lips would softly kiss the tip of my cock and she’d still be watching me, analyzing my reactions. I would do my best to restrain myself, allowing her to get accustomed to my member, but my hands would eventually find their way to her wet strands, creating a makeshift ponytail that would facilitate my vision of her work while I still managed to control myself and not use it to guide her.

She’d kiss the skin all around my cock, quick little kisses just to tease me before going further down to suck on my balls. I’d throw my head back, begging her to do what I needed, and she’d finally succumb, wrapping her lips around my tip before slowly sucking further down my dick. She’d be relentless, eventually being able to swallow my whole member down her throat, and I would look down again to see her looking up at me with a proud gaze in her eyes.

“Such a good girl,” I would whisper, just before I finally snapped, using my grip on her hair to pull her from my cock until just the tip remained tightly squeezed by her lips, until I pushed her all the way against me again. “Take this fucking cock like the little perfect girl you are for daddy.”

And she’d take it like a pro, a satisfied smile on her lips as I fucked her mouth, eventually breaching into her throat, making her gasp for air, tears in her eyes as her hands flew to my hips in an attempt to slow me down. But she wouldn’t really, opting for simply carving her nails on my flesh as she took every single rope of cum I’d deposit between her eager lips.

Fuck. I let the water wash away the sin I had just committed while sending up a prayer for better control when Y/N arrived. The last thing I needed was to be stuck in the bathroom, touching myself while she was at my house.

#my fics #chris evans smut #chris evans #smut #rpf #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x reader

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yukidragon · 3 months

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I'm a bit curious was it ever confirmed that Shaun and Ian interacted with one another or met before the eventual breakup between Ian and MC. If not what are some of your headcanons on this matter would they have gotten along at all?

Actually, yes, it has been confirmed that Shaun and Ian knew each other before Ian and MC broke up in this comic posted over on the official Sunny Day Jack twitter!

Credit as always to Sauce for their awesome artwork and for giving us this hilarious glimpse into college age Ian and Shaun. Consider supporting them and the rest of the SnaccPop Studios team by joining the patreon for even more lore tidbits I can't even mention publicly. Just remember, don't share anything privately posted!

While a lot of teaser/development art should be taken with a grain of salt, if it appears on one of the official pages, it's a pretty safe bet that it's canon to the timeline of the game.

So this comic, also drawn by the awesome Sauce, while hilarious, may or may not be canon.

I think it's a pretty safe bet to say that Ian did not pass Shaun's vibe check.

The first comic certainly makes it clear that Shaun didn't find Ian attractive considering the way he reacted. Maybe it's due to jealousy (I don't think Shaun wants to think about his crush having sex with someone else) or maybe it's because of Ian's bad taste in anime. Who can say?

Content Warnings: This post contains talk of cheating, jealousy, drinking in excess, (unintentional) self-harm, near death experience, SA, issues with sex, and toxic relationships.

I suspect that these two just didn't get along. Between Shaun suffering from jealousy due to his crush and the two of them having different tastes, they were probably only friendly to one another for MC's sake.

I would imagine that Shaun's opinion on Ian took an extreme nosedive when they found out Ian cheated on MC.

Man... can you imagine how much pain Shaun has been through? He had to watch his best friend/crush be happy with someone else... then get devastated by being cheated on. The worst part was if he had bad vibes from Ian from the start, but he ignored his gut feelings for MC's sake.

When it comes to my personal headcanons that I use for Sunshine in Hell... Shaun and Ian had friction since the first day Alice introduced the two of them.

It wasn't just Shaun being jealous of Ian either. Ian was jealous of Shaun too!

Ian has always suffered from a low sense of self-esteem. Shaun, by comparison, is much more well put together, more outgoing, and has this natural charisma that draws people to him. Shaun is just so likable that he gets a lot of attention and friends. For years, Ian was the exact opposite of that, which led to him being bullied and degraded often.

So one day Alice, his childhood friend and partner, is super excited to introduce Ian to her new friend. Shaun and Alice have a lot in common, and it was very visible in the early years of college when Alice was in the middle of her pastel goth phase. Shaun and Alice had a love for horror movies, cats, the goth aesthetic, and a whole bunch of other things. They clicked so quickly, and it scared Ian a little.

It didn't help that Alice had trouble making friends like Ian did. They had that in common, something that gave them a sort of understanding that no one else could intrude on. Now that they were in college they started making more friends, and that was a good thing, really! But Alice clicked with Shaun about as fast as she did with Ian.

In the 1st grade, one day Alice mustered up the courage to talk to Ian in order to cheer him up. After that they started talking every day and they were besties ever since. From there, they started dating. She's never really clicked with anyone else so fast like she did with Ian...

Until Shaun, that is.

Ian kept comparing himself to Shaun, unfavorably. He kept worrying about Alice falling for Shaun instead since, well, clearly Shaun had so much more than Ian had to offer. Why wouldn't she? What didn't help his insecurities was the fact that they had been a couple since high school, but they still hadn't had sex yet.

I integrated the comic into part of Alice and Ian's troubled sex life. The depicted instance was Ian's attempt at making things romantic so that they could finally go all the way.

It took them a while to start being sexually intimate due to their mutual lack of practical knowledge and Alice's SA trauma. She was very cuddly with Ian, not afraid to kiss him or go into a make out session, but she struggled to go further than that for a long time. It left Ian struggling with insecurities, fearing that he wasn't attractive to her despite her constantly reassuring him that wasn't the case.

Really, it was that insecurity and self-blame that pushed Alice to go further than she was ready for, to pretty painful results that she learned to just accept as part of the experience.

Alice is the type of person who can't be comfortable with people touching her unless she trusts them. However, when she gets close to someone, she can get pretty cuddly, even with her friends, giving them hugs often. So, for Ian, seeing his girlfriend get comfortable hugging another guy... someone he might have noticed looking at her a certain way...

Well, getting cockblocked on his rocky road to losing his virginity didn't help Ian see Shaun in a more favorable light.

Really, this was an incident that pushed Ian to be a bit more possessive of Alice. He was already struggling with the fact that his partner was sharing a dorm with someone else, but for Shaun to just casually walk into her bedroom like that without knocking? Ian certainly had permission to come in there without Alice knowing since he's her boyfriend, and he was planning to surprise her with a romantic evening, but how long had Shaun been just letting himself into her private space so casually?

Ian didn't believe that Alice was cheating on him, but what if Shaun decided to take advantage of her? What if this casual blurring of their living space led to feelings blooming?

What if Alice realized that Shaun was so much better than Ian in every way?

This led to Ian asking Alice to move into an apartment with him, even if it cost them money. He was able to feel more secure when they were living together, and he could be the one going into her bedroom at any hour of the day to be with her instead of someone else.

Shaun did try to befriend Ian, but it seemed like every time they hung out, something would rub him the wrong way. He did his best to be happy for Alice and Ian in their relationship, but it wasn't just Ian's shit taste in anime that struck Shaun as a red flag.

It didn't take Shaun long to notice a pattern in Ian and Alice's relationship. Ian would be down on himself, even cry and apologize for being inadequate, and Alice would reassure him. It seemed like every day, he saw this happen at least once. He tried reassuring Ian as well when he could, but after a while it gets tiring to try and lift someone up who keeps dragging himself down. Shaun would suggest Ian try therapy, and Ian would insist it wouldn't work, he was hopeless, and it wasn't worth wasting money on.

It was only when Alice showered Ian with love, and when their mutual friends bent backwards to cheer him up, that Ian would perk up again.

Shaun saw the red flags going up, how Ian was so needy for Alice and it was wearing on her. She went out of her way for Ian all the time, doing so much more because Ian "needed" her.

What made it worse was that Shaun saw how unbalanced their relationship was, how Alice gave Ian so much more than Ian gave back. Because Ian was so clingy, Alice had to often cancel meet ups with friends at the last minute, citing that he was having a bad day and needed her. Yet, on days when Alice was feeling like shit, she just kept powering through, pretending nothing was wrong. It took Shaun a lot of effort to pry her into leaning on him, and he'd even go out of his way to do stuff for her without her asking, like buying her lunch when she was so overworked she forgot to bring any.

Shaun worried for Alice because she was his friend, and she didn't deserve this sort of treatment. It was like she had become Ian's emotional crutch. Regardless of his attraction towards her, regardless if they could ever get together, he wanted her to be happy.

Shaun's opinion of Ian slowly deteriorated over time, but it turned into downright hate when Ian cheated on Alice, especially after she almost died because of it.

It was just a normal night when Shaun got a phone call from Ian. It was about Alice of course. It was the only reason Ian ever called Shaun - to check up on Alice. That night was different because Ian was in a panic. Alice wasn't picking up for him, which was unusual enough, but Ian was insistent that Shaun needed to check on her to make sure she was okay.

It was lucky that Shaun had the spare key to the apartment Alice and Ian shared. The sight of her lying unconscious in a pool of blood in the bathroom is a scar that'll forever be etched in his memory.

Shaun spent an entire night terrified, wondering what had happened. Did Alice try to kill herself? Why? She might have been missing Ian after he moved across the country, but she always reached out to Shaun and others when she wanted company. What happened that night? When he mentioned Alice's state to Ian, he just wailed that it was all his fault and Shaun couldn't reach Ian after that, as Ian was busy trying to book a flight back home to see her at the hospital.

Shaun had to be the one to call Alice's family too, but he had no answers to give them. The doctors would only let family or her legal partner see her for a while. It was only the next day that he learned that it was all because Ian had cheated on Alice, and she drank to dull the pain, only to hurt herself under the influence of alcohol poisoning.

Shaun could've kicked himself. He saw the problems in their relationship, but he didn't think it was his place to say anything. He worried his jealousy was coloring his perspective, seeing things too negatively. Now he wished he pushed harder like his gut told him, got Alice to see that the relationship was no good for her.

When Alice forgave Ian and tried to make it work, Shaun couldn't just sit back and let it happen.

So, yeah, Shaun's opinion of Ian in the present day is very negative. He views Ian as a toxic, manipulative, cheating scumbag who didn't deserve Alice. It was a relief when he managed to help Alice see that too so that she could finally end that toxic relationship. He was there for her so many nights when she cried over Ian and missed him. He saw the pain Ian put Alice through, and it just made his hatred of Ian grow.

Ian is grateful for Shaun being there to help Alice and even getting her to the hospital, but that doesn't get rid of his jealousy. Shaun and Alice are still talking even though she never picks up the phone for Ian anymore. He sees their exchanges online. They're still close. Shaun could one day sweep in and...

Ian can't let that happen. He can't let Shaun steal away the person who means so much to him. He can't let Alice just let him go like this. He just has to apologize to Alice, keep apologizing, and everything will be fine.

Sooooo... yeah, suffice to say, Ian and Shaun do not get along, and I doubt that they ever will... at least in my headcanons.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur @kurokrisps

#Sunny Day Jack #Something's Wrong With Sunny Day Jack #SunnyDayJack #sdj #swwsdj #Headcanon Ramblings #Sauce-y Art

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bulbagarden · 10 months

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guess what??? bulbapedia had its 50,000th wiki article created a bit ago, and to celebrate we made a news article celebrating bulbapedia! i'm actually in it, soo... take a look if you'd like!! (this was written by our twitter admin and my overlord wyndoncalling)

Celebrating 50k Bulbapedia articles with our favourite wiki pages!

As one of the world's largest media franchises, Pokémon is monolithic to say the least. Documenting every facet of this gargantuan IP is a task perhaps only the most dedicated and/or foolhardy would embark on, yet that's exactly what our Bulbapedia team and thousands of selfless contributors have done over eighteen long years! With Pokémon now encompassing nine generations of main series games along with dozens of spin-offs, mobile games, movies, anime and manga series, merchandise and much more, the wiki itself has grown in tandem - we recently hit a whopping 50,000 articles!

To celebrate, we've compiled a list from across the Bulbagarden team of our favourite wiki articles. For our non-wiki team members, these might simply be pages that they enjoy reading and help inform their work in other aspects of the site. For wiki Staff, these could instead be pages that they've sunk many productive hours into. Read on for an eclectic collection of articles detailing some of the most obscure corners of the Pokémon franchise!

Credits to Staff artist Sirius for the awesome header image!

WyndonCalling (Social Media) - Tall grass

On the one hand, I think it's faintly hilarious that anyone would go into such detail for a mundane and omnipresent mechanic of the main series games; the tall grass that awaits the player on every starting route just feels so self-explanatory in function. On the other hand, I think it speaks volumes about the commitment and mentality of the Bulbapedia team and contributors that no scrap of information is left undocumented - on the tall grass page you'll find the basic details about how it works, but also variations such as tall grass and seaweed, animations of the Cut mechanic, in-battle effects, and more. Who knew that simple grass could be so fascinating in a world with flame-throwing dragons and electric mice?

Runner-up - List of Pokémon by base stats

As the Admin of the Bulbagarden Twitter account, I'm always on the hunt for interesting trivia to share; having the base stats of all Pokémon in one, sortable place makes it so much easier to make fun comparisons between species (did you know that Krabby has more Attack than Eternatus?).

Maverick Nate - Bulbapedia - Coin (TCG) (and its three subpages: Gens 1-4, Gens 5-6, and Gens 7-8)

This page is what I consider my best accomplishment during my 10 years as Bulbapedia's TCG Leader. There is an incredible amount of research, time, (and personal financial investment) baked into the article, and it always gives me a swell of pride when I update it with fresh images of newly acquired coins. There are over 700 different coins documented here, and I still fondly remember the long-night research sessions I would have with my best friend when we would do things like watch countless YouTube openings to figure out release information, check out endless eBay and Yahoo Auctions listings for never-before-seen coins, hold up physical coins to a spotlight trying to determine the Holofoil pattern. Our other friends would poke fun at us for researching in the field, (which was just our excuse to go shopping for newly released TCG products with new coins or hitting up garage sales and card shops on the off chance they had old ones). All of those years of effort produced what is now considered the definitive list of all coins in existence for coin enthusiasts. Whenever I see people online referencing it and using it for their own collections, I just have to smile, knowing that my favorite article is helping people all around the globe.

Wowy (Bulbapedia) - Red (Masters)

This page is just an example for all the character pages for Pokémon Masters. As one of the main editors covering Pokémon Masters when the game was first released, I feel very content to see many other editors who have taken the mantle to make Bulbapedia's coverage of the game quite comprehensive! I also enjoy the gallery section at the bottom because there are some sweet artwork pieces that come out of the game / the PMEX Twitter.

Runner Up - Face board

An article that was initially written for fun ended up being moved from the userpage to the main Bulbapedia page. Like the tall grass page, it's a niche page that showcases how much we like to document every minor and obscure detail in the franchise (albeit there is still so much to cover)!

Lisia (Social Media) (omg HIIII that's me!!!!) (姉ちゃん見て見て、あたしテレビだ。。) - Pokémon world in relation to the real world

This is a very extensive page, and it's very useful for a lot of different things! I use it for worldbuilding for fanfiction and roleplay stuff usually, but it's fun to look at just in general as well! I remember looking at the page first like... years ago, and it blew my mind to see that the Pokémon world was actually based off of real locations! It's something that I'd call a huge resource for anyone who creates Pokémon fanworks, especially written ones!

Runner Up - Lisia (i had to LOL)

Maybe it's a little... self-serving? But I really like this article of my personal namesake; she's my favorite character after all! She's a relatively minor character within the whole of Pokémon so there's not a whole lot of information about her, so I like reading all the stuff there is about her! It makes me happy that people have put work into articles about everyone, because well... in a way I wouldn't be me without it. I should probably contribute to it sometime!

Orchid (Forums) - Pokémon food

I picked this article because it is astoundingly comprehensive on its topic, and offers a lot of really interesting insight into the Pokémon universe as a whole. From Poffins, to prey, to parasites, to Slowpoke Tails... it's all here! It's amazing how having all this information in one place puts into perspective just how much there is to cover on what, at a glance, might seem like such a simple subject. I find myself coming back here every now and then just out of curiosity (or perhaps to settle a debate about what an Aerodactyl really eats).

Runner-up - Twerp

This page is silly and I love it. I've even shown this one to friends and family who are fellow Pokémon fans, and they've gotten just as much of a kick out of it as I have! But as amusing of a read as it may be, what I love most about this page is the fact that even a short and lighthearted bit of terminology like this is documented thoroughly here, just like anything else would be. All across Bulbapedia, you can find so much care and detail put into the littlest of things, and that does bring a smile to my face

DapperCody (Multimedia) - Ash Ketchum

Like many people, I grew up watching the Pokémon anime as a youngster. I enjoy Ash's article because it is comprehensive account of the quarter century that he has graced our screens - looking it over is very nostalgic. The history section with photos is fantastic, and I love being able to see all the Pokémon he has ever owned or used and their current status. It also has an extensive trivia section like all my favorite articles do. I've fallen down the anime rabbit hole on Bulbapedia numerous times, and Ash's page is a great place to start.

Runner Up - Ash's Noctowl

See all of the above, but from a different perspective. Pages for individual Pokémon from the anime are fantastic to get a glimpse into all the highlights from their time in the spotlight, and what better example of this than my personal favorite, Noctowl? The move history is really neat, especially the fact that it designates the moves recently used (and the illegal ones when applicable). Did you know Noctowl was the first Shiny Pokémon in the anime?

bthrussellUK (Bulbapedia) - Pokémon Battle Chess

I really love this article because I think it’s an example of what Bulbapedia is great at; taking obscure Pokémon topics (especially outside of Japan) and saving them from being lost to the sands of time. The original Pokémon Battle Chess website has been taken offline, so without articles like this one, the game would be forgotten. Instead, because it’s here, I decided to find and buy a copy of both Pokémon Battle Chess BW Version and Pokémon Battle Chess and use them to help expand the gameplay section of the article. They're actually pretty fun games! Now I just need a copy of Pokémon Battle Chess W…

Runner Up - Pokémon games

It looks like it's just a really long list... and it is! But for me it's a really great reminder of how massive Pokémon is, how many games have been released in the last 26 years, and how many different platforms Pokémon games have released on. Ever heard of the Advanced Pico Beena or the iQue Player?

Whether they're popular or niche, wide-ranging or obscure, we hope you've enjoyed our short tour of our favourite Bulbapedia articles! Do you have your own? Are you tickled by the trivia on a given page? You can let us know on our forums or Discord server - or even start editing yourself!

The wiki can never have too many contributors, and if your love of Pokémon is as deep as ours we'd be delighted to have you with us for the next 50,000 articles!

(lisia note: thank you for reading!!!!!!!!!! hopefully you enjoyed it!)

#bulbanews #bulbagarden #bulbalisia #pokemon #pokemon news #bulbapedia

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animereviewsbykyranskye · 8 months

Text

My current top 15 Anime and why

Because why the fuck not. I'm doing top 15 so that I have some variety behind it. Otherwise I would just be gushing non stop XD

Apparently numbers go big now - AND THEY GO SMALLER IF YOU TRY TO TYPE IN THE SAME LINE AS THEM???

comparison:

15 -

DA HECK????

(Edit: I was going to colour all the numbers because I wanted a rainbow. WHY THE FUCK FOR THEY CHANGE TO SMALL WHEN YOU COLOUR THEM??????)

Guess the titles of the anime get a small heading. Anyways. Onto the actual list!

Technoroid OVERMIND

Ayo. Starting out with a really random one. So if anyone were to look at my Anilist then they might be a bit confused. I decided I'd keep movies out of here as well as anything I haven't specifically finished. Also takt op. Destiny needs a re evaluation.

Anyways. This premise is so sick and I feel like they managed it really well. The characters were all really fun and the music was fantastic which is honestly the most important thing about Idol shows. I really like idol shows but often struggle with the stupid drama in them that just leads to seasons upon seasons that didn't need to happen or wouldn't actually happen.

In this they're just androids. The fantasy twist works so well for the genre and I honestly don't know why it isn't done more often. This way they can bullshit the drama and it actually makes sense.

Honestly my favourite character was Kite. He was great and his voice always gave me shivers. Especially his piece in the closing. Damn.

I don't want to go into full reviews with this, rather just gushing about things I like and stuff. I really don't think this got the recognition it deserves - probably because of it's deviation from the norm - but it would be cool to get some sort of sequel.

(Edit: There's a manga releasing apparently. Imma check that out.)

UniteUp!

Continuing on with the trend of idol animes apparently. UniteUp! was so good. As I mentioned in my Reviews while I watch of the show, it felt so grounded and real that other idol shows just don't seem to capture. These were all real people with real problems dealing with real life.

I also like how we had such a large cast of characters but it never really felt overwhelming as they focused on group dynamics and specific individuals rather than trying to cram every single person into their own arcs.

Once again the music was fantastic and by god was this show pretty gay. Honestly I don't know what the sentiments of others are, but the Anela duo definitely weren't straight and neither were Akira and Daiki. That bath scene says it all.

Anyways. If you want a fun time with a really solid idol anime, please check it out. I saw earlier that we're getting a season two soon. I am so looking forward to it.

Trigun Stampede

Damn! I don't even know what to really say about this one. The visuals are absolutely stunning - there is no doubt about that. The score and the characters are excellent. And how dare they leave us on that cliff hanger.

I have absolutely no history with this story and still need to watch and read the originally but I am really looking forward to seeing how the story adapts between the three.

You can ask my partner. I've already said we're watching everything trigun related as soon as we are done with our current show.

I'm really looking forward to season two. And especially seeing how this all pans out. Apparently there will be tears according to the fandom. Concern.

Re-main

Damn this show came out of nowhere for me. I watched it quite awhile ago and have been meaning to rewatch it again.

The premise is definitely a sports anime but honestly so different. All because of one thing. The fact that he is an amnesiac is such a fascinating concept to work with - especially with how he was before (trying not to spoil - can't remember when this comes up in the anime)

And then the ending?? Damn. They seriously set up that cliff hanger and I really hope this show gets a sequel.

I really can't say too much about it without giving away some spoilers but damn does it change up the formula and do it so fucking well.

Given

Given is great. Such a pure but heartbreaking portrayal of love on one side with such conflicting but also nurturing views on the other. Having the different realtionships throughout this is really well done how they all bounce off of each other. Especially when they entertwine it with the music.

As it is said. That is how they communicate - through the music.

I'm busy catching up with the manga and really hope the anime continues with it.

Also the fucking is just fucking gorgeous. It has no write to hit you that hard.

Also - something else that shouldn't be allowed to hit you that hard. Damn Mafuyu has had a difficult past. We love how he learns to heal and grow with Uenoyama at his side.

Anyways, moving on.

Bakuten!!

Okay. Who said a sports anime could be this pretty.

I love the art style and the music throughout all of this. I love the portayal and the evolution of these character - seriously all their arcs are great. The interactions of the team is so tangible and real.

I watch a lot of sports anime and I often struggle with some of the drama used within the sports - it feels like the only thing that ever fuels the story is the matches. Whereas in Bakuten - the character seriously fuel the story. You can understand their motivations much more than just - I want to play this sport and be the best!

I also feel like they really captured everything really well in the movie. The whole concept of wanting to sore is great and really well executed.

I also love the interactions they have with the other team. It's not just a once off competition or practice match that they face each other. We actually get tangible characters for the whole team and see how much they two teams are similar to one another. It's a very healthy rivalry that isn't normally this expanded on in sports anime.

Sasaki and Miyano

Yesssssss. These two are just absolutely amazing. Their whole story arc and relationship is just tooth rottingly sweet. They bounce off of each other so well.

And I love the fact of how slow the actual story is. They meet at the start of Miyanos first year (from what I know - I still need to read the novels) and sasaki's second and they only end up confessing just before graduation happens. It really plays out well and is so healthy.

There is no problematic elements like in so many BL stories which is such a breath of fresh air. And the fact that sasaki is very specific about making sure to maintain boundaries to ensure that miyano is comfortable is also excellent.

On a slightly different note - I still need to see the Hirano and Kagiura movie. Been dying to watch it. I've been keeping up to date with both manga and both of these stories are amazing. I love the dichotomy of the two stories and how they are coming to their own realisations of their feelings in honestly very different ways.

I also recently watched the dub of the anime due to some videos on tiktok. Fucking hell it is absolutely hilarious. Kellen Goff as Sasaki has no reason for being that good. Seriously. Damn.

Link Click

On a completely different note. Damn this one makes you questions your own morals and reality as you know it.

I really don't want to get into this one much as I do believe watching it blind is the best way to go.

The art style is fantastic and that opening hits like a truck it is so good. The characters just click (pun not intended) and you just understand their motivations and don't know which side to side with most of the time. It brings about such high moral dilemmas that will seriously mess with your brain sometimes and there is one episode that will likely make you cry.

Anyways. Season 2 has just started airing and I am so ready for it.

Buddy Daddies

Why did a show about two queer platonic dudes who adopt a child while beings assassins hit so damn hard.

The show jumps between episodes with backstory and episodes with them just being good dads and it is balanced so well. This anime won't end up getting a sequel most likely with how it ended but damn I wouldn't say no to one.

Rei is my favourite character and I relate to him far too much. His interactions with the world are so fascinating and his whole arc with Miri is honestly some of the best media I've seen.

I absolutely loved watching this show weekly and it always brightened up my day when I realised a new episode would be up.

If you would like further thoughts on this one then check the Reviews while I watch on it for more chaos.

No Game No Life

So. This was the first ever anime that I ever watched. It was a random recomendation from a friend. Look at where we are today.

This show is honestly just so fun. The characters are silly and the whole plot is just absolute chaos. I really enjoy the games aspect and how it was all incorporated into the world.

I can't even really say much about it. It is just a guilty pleasure of mine and will always hold a special place in my heart.

Also. Please can it just get a second season already.

Assassination Classroom

So. Unlike everything else on the list - this one I only finished really recently. My partner and I were watching it together. And to put it out there straight away. I cried. That ending was far too emotional.

I really enjoyed the humour throughout the whole thing as well as the constant underlying dread of the whole situation.

They also really played out Koro-senseis backstory really well. The teasing to it was excellent. I must say though that one of the twists seriously came out of left field. Like damn.

I've just recently bought the boxset and am reading through the manga. Once again. It's absolutely amazing.

Also the openings of them all jumping are absolutely fucking hilarious and you can't tell me otherwise.

If you want to know what officially sold me on the show was just in the first episode. (Note we watched in dub)

Don't ask me why but I found this to be the most hilarious thing ever. The absurdity and the line delivery was magnificent. I annoy my partner by quoting it atleast once a day.

Life Lessons with Uramichi Oniisan

Speaking of comedies. This show has no right to be this good. The absudist dead pan comedy in the middle of whats meant to be a TV show is such a random premise but just works so well.

Due to the nature of the show, the characters are extremely relateable. I especially love Kumatani and Kikaku.

If your on the same side of anime tiktok that I am then you have definitely seen/heard snippets of the dub.

I think this was the first anime that I originally watched in sub and then tried it in dub and actually enjoyed it. (I often find that whatever I originally watched it in is the only one I can watch it in - it's very difficult for me to change it)

The voice acting on both sides just works perfectly for the show. And that final episode and how they did it was the best thing ever.

Please just give it a try.

Angel Beats

Okay. Time for a hard hitter. This comedy like assassintaion classroom is fucking excellent but will make you cry, like damn.

In complete and utter contrast to No game no life, this was the second anime I had ever watched. I had found a video that gave some suggestions and thought I would give this one a try. When I say it destoryed me, I mean it literally. I constantly think about the end of this and I absolutely love revisiting it.

The twist and turns along the way are fascinating and I love how each one alters the characters and the narrative. Each of the characters feel unique - even the lesser developed side characters - with fascinating and complex backstories.

The whole thing just makes you question your own place in life.

Moriarty the Patriot

Another one I just randomly tried because I saw a video on tiktok. The first episode immediately pulled me in. I thought it was just going to be some simple detective story (At the time I didn't know much about Sherlock Holmes and who Moriaty was so I didn't have any of that to guide me into this story.) But nope.

I keep saying this but in this one I really mean it. The characters are built so well. The dichotomy between William and Sherlock - as the fandom would probably agree - is just amazing. How they bounce off of each other - i don't even know how to really descirbe it.

Honestly just go watch it.

And if you enjoyed the anime - please go check out the manga too. If the anime was done well - then the manga is done to lamost perfection.

This show was what got me into reading and then eventually buying manga. I now have every single one that is out.

Yuri!!! on ICE

Did I make the title gay? Yes.

Okayyyyy. This is just going to be me going on about how much I love this show. Bare with me.

So I was in an anime watching slump just before I picked up this show. I had been seeing some videos popping up talking about it and decided to give it a try (this was in 2020)

I immediately fell in love with this show. Literally everything about it. I ended up rewatching it three times over the course of a week. It got to a point where I was so upset that there wasn't more content for it that I just cried for half a day. (Ask my partner - it was chaos)

This show is the reason I now read fanfiction - all because I found a way to technically have more content for it.

This show holds such an important place in my heart that I sincerely cannot express it properly.

If you've never watched it - go give it a try. It would mean a lot - and hopefully one day we might get a season two.

----

Thanks for reading, if you managed to get to this point. I find it interesting how my explanations managed to slowly get shorter throughout the list as I just started becoming more emotional than factual.

I hope you enjoyed it and maybe grabbed a recommendation or two. If you'd like to know more or hear me ramble on more about anything in particular then please let me know.

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waytooinvested · 2 months

Text

Vengeance, Victory, and Undying Love - pt 9

Chapter 9 of my Supercorp fic in which Lena still creates something called Non Nocere to deal with her broken heart after finding out Supergirl's identity, but this time she gives the name to a different project. A more personal one. And now she’s coming for Supergirl.

This and previous chapters also available to read on Ao3

...............

The next time she saw Lena, it was an accident.

Well, sort of.

Kara had taken to night flights when she couldn’t sleep – not patrolling for trouble (though that’s what she claimed she was doing) so much as just taking the opportunity to bathe in the gentle wash of starlight. She enjoyed feeling the cool night breeze against her skin and gazing out at the quiet expanse of the city. During the day it was a seething hive of activity, but at night the pace slowed, swapping the bustle for peaceful darkness spangled with lights that glimmered beneath her toes like an infinite swarm of fire flies.

Sometimes – not too often, but sometimes – she would stay out there all night, watching over the world as the sky faded from black to navy to grey-blue, then broke into the delicate pink and orange of sunrise spreading up from the horizon.

Those nights were the best ones, and the worst, because they made the hollow in her chest ache so viciously.

Back before all this had happened, Lena had sometimes stayed over at her apartment after their movie night ran just a little too late to make the journey home feel like a good idea. The idea was to sleep of course, but more than once they had stayed awake long after the credits had rolled on the final movie, just talking and laughing, swapping stories and dreams and ideas until the dawn chorus reminded them that there was a world out there that would shortly be demanding their attention.

Somewhere along the way a secret fantasy had been born in Kara’s heart – one that involved herself and Lena, a blanket, a thermos, a basket of fresh, oven-warm pastries, and the sunrise. In it she would scoop Lena up into her arms and fly them both out over the city and away somewhere special where no one would disturb them and the only thing for miles around for her super hearing to pick up was bird song and the sound of Lena’s heart beating in time with her own.

A mountaintop perhaps, or a cliff overlooking a pure turquoise sea.

They’d settle there, huddled close together against the early morning chill under their single blanket (it was always just one blanket, though she tried not to examine too deeply why that was), and they’d watch the sun come up.

She’d actually told Lena about it once, after a particularly deep heart to heart when her walls were as far down as she was ever able to let them.

Well, not all of it of course. Not the part about taking Lena in her arms and flying them away under her own steam, or the part about the single blanket. But she had looked out of her window at the rosy clouds and said that she wished they could be watching the sunrise from somewhere beautiful, outside of the city.

Lena had smiled at her so tenderly, the soft shine in her eyes instantly making the rising sun seem brash by comparison, and said ‘but we can’.

Kara’s stomach had plummeted even as her heart leapt, thinking that Lena was picturing the same thing she was, that she knew, and was saying that it was alright, that she felt the same. In another few moments Kara might well have blown her cover and swept her up right then and there to enact the fantasy for real, but before she could Lena had shaken her head at Kara’s stunned expression and laughed.

‘I have a private jet, remember? We can go wherever you like. Tell you what, why don’t we plan a proper vacation? We can all go. I’m sure we can find somewhere with spectacular sunrises, and perhaps some good vineyards too. It’ll be fun’.

And it would have been fun, if not exactly what Kara had been hoping for. But the vacation had never happened, because before it could they were all caught up in saving the world from certain peril yet again, and that had led to everything with Lex, and Lena had found out who she was, and everything had fallen apart.

She had been thinking about this and, alright, maybe moping about it a little, when she’d caught the sound of quiet sobs from a distant balcony.

Lena’s balcony.

She knew it wasn’t her place to comfort Lena when she was sad anymore, but it was as if thinking so hard about their past time together had conjured her presence, like the fact that they were both out here at this late hour when so few people were awake meant that she was somehow supposed to go.

Besides, she couldn’t bear to listen to Lena cry and not at least try to help.

She touched down on the balcony a few feet away from where Lena sat looking small and vulnerable in nothing but her light summer pyjama shorts and tank top, an almost empty bottle of scotch by her side.

‘Lena?’

She spoke the name very softly, trying not to startle her.

Lena looked up at her, eyes a little unfocused with alcohol.

‘Kara. I should have known you’d show up’.

‘I don’t mean to pry, it’s just… I heard you crying, and I wanted to make sure you were okay’.

‘Of course you did’.

‘So… are you okay?’

It was a stupid question. Lena was as not okay as Kara had ever seen her, her eyes red and puffy with crying, her bare arms and legs pebbled with goosebumps in the chilly night air, hair mussed as if she had tossed and turned on her pillow before giving up and coming out here. She was a mess.

A beautiful mess.

Kara longed to take Lena into her arms and warm her against her own chest, to wipe away her tears, smooth back her hair and tell her that everything was going to be alright, but she had to settle for taking off her cape and draping it tentatively around Lena’s shoulders instead.

For a while Lena stayed stiff, neither shrugging off nor acknowledging the offer, but eventually her need for warmth must have won out, because to Kara’s relief the frozen fingers of the hand that wasn’t clutching a glass of scotch reached up to pull the folds of the cape more snugly around herself.

It was not quite an invitation to stay, but it was the next best thing. An unspoken acceptance of Kara’s presence on the balcony.

‘Would it be alright if I sit?’

Lena glanced at her dully and made a gesture half way between a nod and a shrug before downing the rest of her scotch and pouring herself another large measure. The bottle clanked against the glass as she tipped it clumsily, half the liquid that had been intended for the cup sloshing over her bare knee instead, but she didn’t seem to notice or care.

‘I was going to- to cure cancer you know’.

‘Were you?’

‘Yep. Or climate change. Hadn’t decided yet, but it was- it was going to be something heroic. Only now I can’t do it’.

‘Why not?’

Lena threw her a sceptical look and hiccuped.

‘Because. Because Kara, I am sitting out here on my balcony at 3am, and I’m drunk’.

Kara couldn’t help laughing at that, just a little.

‘I see that. But you won’t stay drunk. You’ll go to bed soon and sleep it off, and then you’ll be able to do whatever you like’.

‘No, no you see that’s where you’re wrong. I won’t, because I’ve already failed. I thought I succeeded, but I was fooling myself. It didn’t work. It was never going to work. And now I don’t have anything else to try. Kara’.

A pause, followed by a sudden rush of words.

‘Kara, I don’t want this anymore. I don’t want it but I don’t know how to go back. I’ve ruined everything’.

Fresh tears washed over the salty tracks of those that had come before, and Kara raised a tentative hand to touch the folds of cape above Lena’s shoulder.

She swallowed, hardly daring to breathe in case it broke the fragile thread that was spinning out between them.

‘What don’t you want Lena?’

#supergirl #supercorp #supergirl fanfiction #supercorp fanfic #lena luthor #kara danvers #kara x lena #my fic #angst with a happy ending #multi chapter fic

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grigori77 · 2 months

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So I just went to see Madame Web and ...

Seriously, THAT was the toxic hellfire that's destined to sink Sony Films' ongoing attempts to ignite their live action Spider-Verse?

I mean, honstly, that wasn't really ANYTHING LIKE that bad, people. It is BY NO MEANS a great movie, it's definitely flawed and clunky, but it's also NOTHING LIKE the very worst of the Marvel movies I've seen in my time, especially in recent years ... it's DEFINITELY nowhere near as mbad as the GENUINELY abyssmal stinking stillborn mutation likes of Morbius or Elektra, nor is it EVEN quite as bad as those much more simplistic throwback Marvel movies from the pre-MCU days that have nonetheless still become beloved culty guilty pleasures for their kitchy campness, like Ghost Rider, Daredevil or the Thomas Jane Punisher movie.

In fact, once it gets going, it's ACTUALLY a pretty enjoyable movie, with quite a bit of charm. One of my strongest benchmarks for whether a movie is WORTHWHILE or not is if, by the time it counts, generally in the third act when the stakes are suitably raised, I have become sufficiently invested in the main characters for me to actually CARE about them making it through whatever terrors the big action climax has in store for them, and I DEFINITELY got that here. Dakota Johnson may not be the greatest actress out there, ESPECIALLY after the torturous (ahem) depths of the 30 Shades saga, but she's got a certain affable charm that won me over here, and Cassie Webb definitely has a scrappy, stubborn attitude that I really warmed to over the course of the story, while the trio of teenage girls she becomes reluctantly responsible for are likeable enough too that we can excuse their making some pretty dumb decisions at times - besides, they're TEENAGE GIRLS, why are we surprised that they don't always THINK before they act? And besides, getting to see my girl Araña brought to the screen PRETTY MUCH as I remember her from the comics was definitely worth my time.

Then there's Ezekiel Sims ... as screen villains go, the great Tahar Rahim has actually got something pretty strong to work with here, investing the character with impressive menace and a certain seductive charm despite having no real redeeming personality features at all. We could have done with at least A BIT more of an insight into his motivations, but he's a strong enough antagonist here all the same that he works gangbusters here, proving to be a genuinely palpable threat throughout the action.

And how could i POSSIBLY have been left cold by the way they handled the connective tissue to the larger Spider-verse so well? Adam Scott as a young Ben Parker? Genuinely CHEF'S KISS, I swear. Suddenly the way Peter's SO cut up about losing his uncle/father figure makes perfect sense ...

In the end the film definitely won me over by giving me plenty of what I LIKE in my storytelling. I love a strong found family dynamic, and capable, smart female lead protagonists who learn to stand on their own or together against potentially ovewhelming threats are TOTALLY my jam, man. So I can easily forgive all the hokum, shoddy superhero origin story character development gimmickry and varying levels of visual effects quality, as well as a criminally LOW LEVEL climactic showdown, because the film was MUCH stronger than I expected it to be where it counted FOR ME.

So was it a great movie worthy6 of comparison with the best that Marvel has to offer? NO. Not even close. But was it the massive steaming SHITSHOW most of the critics are making it out to be? DEFINITELY NOT.

Go check it out, give it a chance. Reckon you might be pleasantly surprised ...

#madame web #madame web movie #sony spider-verse #nowhere NEAR as bad as they say it is #i just don't understand movie critics anymore

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cloud-somersault · 4 months

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I agree with your point on wukong having other priorities that aren't just all Maacque. (as much as I love shadowpeach) I want to see wukong just like...fucking gardening, or building a fence, or shit going to his favorite spot off mountain to have a picnic and oversee a town getting sacked by raiders and just steps in cuz they are gonna ruin his lunch! Yeah I agree, they need to also live their life!

aw, that would be cute! Wukong gardening 🥺💕 Like, actually putting in the work instead of relying on magic. But yeah, he should have hobbies outside of his relationships. Aside from just watching television.

And I think he does in the show, though mostly he is just lazing around, we haven't gotten to see a lot of Wukong just vibing aside from in season 1. I think him having picnics and seeing scenic views and vistas is totally something he would do. Wukong has always liked traveling.

Also, just him going to the Celestial Realm more?? He ofc has his reservations, but the Jade Emperor and the gods aren't the only things up there. Wukong likes to just laze about a lot, let him laze about up there.

In Constellations specifically, since he's refocused on bonds, Wukong spends a lot more time with people in comparison to before. Also with his subjects in comparison to before. SWK was pretty social in JTTW, lots of parties and feasts, having over 70 people that he considered to be close friends. I think he'd return to that a bit, not to the extent as before, but he'd remember how fun it is hanging out with others and having a good time.

Because he also has a lot to learn. After being isolated, the world has changed in large ways. The internet??? Also, one hobby I love for Wukong to have is knitting. He's always been picky about his appearance and put together his own outfits or whatever (tiger skins, etc) so I like him making some of his own accessories or whatever.

Combining that with the internet is also just fun. Wukong just seeing all kinds of patterns and yarn and wanting to make new things for people? Let's go, MK has plenty of sweaters now.

And Macaque! He desperately needs more attention and hobbies. Hello, he loves new information! He'd love to see how the world's changed, how things got from point A to point B. I HC he's into musicals, especially historic musicals. I also think he'd be a bit of a film critic. He'd be particular about what movies he watches, often liking those by certain directors whose style he likes or finds intriguing or interesting premises.

Macaque, loving magic and, while getting caught up in what's changed, gets inspired to make his own spells again.

And Macaque has his own bonds to make and friendships to pursue. I'm here for him being friends with Mei and Tang for sure. And lately, I've been thinking of Nezha and Macaque friendship? I think that'd be interesting. And also Princess Iron Fan and Macaque.

Like there's so much untapped potential, and instead of running away from that or thinking that it doesn't serve shadowpeach, can I emphasize that it absolutely does? In developing Wukong and Macaque outside of each other, they can bring those new perspectives, hobbies, insights back into their relationship.

They've changed, so now their relationship can change. It only gives both the characters, and the way they interact with each other, more depth.

#ask #anon #constellations fic #thanks for the ask!

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here2bbtstrash · 2 years

Note

freaky ideas you say mwahahhaha 😩😩😩😩

okokokok, so

i’m thinking something along the lines of maybe toxic/gaslight king taehyung like a real kinda nate jacobs kind of situation (not tooo crazy like nate but just the manipulative part) but he’s that ex you love bumping into while drunk or horny bc he’s an amaaaazing lay but he always pulls u back in to fall for him but u know he’s bad and he knows he’s bad, he just knows he take steal you from any man

welp this was fun 🥴 i literally refuse to reread this so sorry if it's trash or riddled with errors lmaoooo hope u enjoy tho !!!

send me more freaky ideas!!!!!

pairing: taehyung x reader wordcount: 737 (look mom i did a real drabble!!!!) contains: tae is legit toxic, reader is too lmao, drunk hookups, a literal dick-measuring contest, taeCONDAAAAA, unprotected sex, don't ever let any man talk to you like this y'all i'm so srs

“What the fuck?”

You sit up so quickly that your tits bounce painfully with no shirt or bra to hold them steady. The alcohol numbing your mind puts you on a five-second delay to process what’s happening: first, the realization that you should probably attempt to hide your naked body; second, the realization that your ex has just walked in on you fucking someone else.

This would be a problem for anyone. But it is especially a problem when your ex is Kim Taehyung.

“I thought you locked the door,” your hookup– you have admittedly completely forgotten his name– grunts as he scrambles to cover his bare ass.

You thought you did too, but honestly, you are not in your right fucking mind right now. You definitely remember spinning the lock ninety degrees, but as you think back on it, you may have spun it back the other way when you were trying to figure the thing out.

Too drunk to remember how doors work means way too fucking drunk to be around Taehyung. There’s a reason your friends made you change his contact name to ⛔️⛔️DO NOT FUCKING DO IT DRUNK BITCH⛔️⛔️.

You’ve been good. Two months without Tae might be your new record.

When he tilts his head to the side with that cocky-ass look on his face, you just know you’re not making it another hour. “You really are up here letting somebody else take what’s mine.” Oh, you hate him so much. You need him to split you open.

“Who the fuck is this?” Your hookup sputters, eyes darting between you. “You have a boyfriend?”

“Ex,” you say simply. You haven’t moved from the position you were in when he was fucking you- on your back on the bed, legs spread, propped up on your elbows.

“Get the fuck out of here, dude,” he says to Tae, and he’s angry enough now to have abandoned any attempts to not be fully naked in front of a stranger. You have to smack a hand over your mouth to stifle your laugh. Taehyung looks equally amused, pressing his lips together as his eyes jump from the guy to you and back again.

“How about we let her compare then? Make her own choice?”

Tae is already in motion before your hookup has any time to process his words. His hands move quickly to the button of his slacks– he can never wear fucking normal pants, always has to dress like the lead character in a romance movie despite having the personality of an actual demon– popping it open, unzipping his fly, and pushing both pants and briefs down his hips in one fast, confident motion.

You unabashedly lick your lips at the sight and sound of his dick smacking hard against his stomach. Damn, did it get bigger?

Your hookup is laughable by comparison, and you know that’s exactly the point. Length, girth, curve, veins, overall prettiness: Tae has him beat, easily, in every category.

You should know. His dick has single-handedly ruined your life.

The poor guy’s eyes jump from Tae’s dick to his own several times in succession, and he clearly doesn’t want to stare long enough to feel gay, but you can tell he’s amazed. It is really the only possible reaction.

“And this is just a semi, king.” Taehyung spits the final word for emphasis.

All pretense is gone now: you both know that he doesn’t have to stand there and pretend to wait for you to make your choice. It’s been made since the second he walked in. “If you’ll excuse me,” he says with a final nod to the guy, and then his knees are sinking into the mattress between your legs.

“Fuck, Taehyung,” you hiss as he pushes all the way in. The pain of the stretch is no match for the pleasure of his cock filling you entirely, and your walls grip him so tight that you can feel every twitch and throb of him inside you. All your senses are dulled in comparison; you only vaguely process the sound of the door slamming shut.

“Maybe I should cut you off more often,” he groans in your ear as he grinds into you, thick head rolling over your g-spot in languid strokes that make you see stars. “You get so fucking tight. How about I remind you who this pussy belongs to?”

You already know it’s his.

#taehyung smut #taehyung x reader #bts smut #bts x reader #anonymous

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withlovefromolympus · 1 year

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Loki x Sylvie hcs <3

So nobody asked for this (and I am this close to just making a side blog for these two silly little Marvel characters) but I wanted to do it, so here are cute headcanon couple q’s and a’s from some prompt on here from forever ago

Who is the little spoon?

Sylvie tries to be all tough and make Loki be the little spoon (which he enjoys for sure), but he wants her to be able to sleep — actually sleep — without one eye open or ready to spring into action at the faintest tap, so he holds her tight and it helps her get real rest. (It also helps with the nightmares she has; they don’t usually discuss that factor.)

Who sings in the shower?

Loki. He’ll sing loudly, and to Sylvie’s dismay she can’t even tease him about being bad at it because he’s good. He’ll sing some Asgardian song, and she’s made him teach her the words — she doesn’t remember the language — so she can sing along softly under her breath during moments like those.

Who plays pranks on the other?

Oh please. Loki always starts shit, but Sylvie will end it. He tries playing pranks on her to playfully prove that he’s the “superior” Loki, but Sylvie is much more mischievous than she appears. When they learn of April Fool’s Day, they go berserk on one another, and each year they try to one-up the other until Valkyrie (if they’re in New Asgard) or Mobius (if they at the reformed TVA) yell at them to cut it out.

Who is the one who listens to pop music?

Sylvie was SO embarrassed when Loki found out that she loves 21st century Midgardian pop music. “It’s catchy,” she snips at him when his grin widens. “Didn’t say it wasn’t,” he replies.

Who brings the other a random cup of joe?

Neither Variant really like coffee that much. Loki says it pales in comparison to the drinks on Asgard, and Sylvie only had it when she had a moment to steal it from convenience stores, and everyone knows coffee from those places are just awful. No, instead they’re tea drinkers.

Who picks the cheesy movies for date night?

Surprisingly, Sylvie. She thinks they’re a good distraction from, well, everything, and Loki finds himself liking them too. The moment he opens his mouth to make some smart quip about what’s on the screen, though, she gives him a look that shuts him up real quick.

(After a while, Sylvie quietly admits that one reason she likes those movies is because when she saw them here and there while on the run, she would foolishly like to think that in another life, something magical like that could happen to her.)

Who is more likely to feed the other in public?

Well, maybe not feed, but Loki surprised even himself by being the affectionate one. He’s never been one for touchy-feely shit…he told himself that Thor was sensitive enough for the both of them…but when it comes to Sylvie? Oh gods he loves her and doesn’t hesitate to give her a quick kiss if the urge comes upon him, anytime anywhere. (She doesn’t complain. Much.)

Who gives the other random little compliments?

They both do equally, and Sylvie’s compliments take Loki by surprise due to their abruptness, and she honestly not that great at it, but he’s touched nonetheless. His compliments make her heart speed up and flustered for words, and that reaction is honestly half the reason he says what he does. He thinks she deserves all the praise and demands to be the first to give it.

Who is always stealing food from the other’s plate?

Sylvie. She had to scavenge for food her whole life, so she’ll steal Loki’s food without even realizing it. Loki knows it’s a hard habit for her to break and just lets her do it without complaints.

Who makes the list before they go grocery shopping?

Sylvie for sure. Loki’s the kind of person who just goes in the store and buys whatever looks good, or whatever he’s hungry for at the moments, but Sylvie is all about plans and planning, so she makes sure there’s a solid list and that they stick to it.

Who makes sure the other takes their meds when sick?

It takes a lot of convincing, some warnings of consequences, and even a little bit of magic, but Loki gets Sylvie to stay in bed and take medicine when she comes down with the flu. She growls an empty threat from underneath the blankets he’s conjured on top of her — “at least you’ve learned to make real blankets” — and he knows she‘s used to not resting for anything, and even less accustomed to being cared for, but he doesn’t back down.

Who watches sports and has to teach the other the rules?

Oh they both hate sports. “Stupid Midgardian entertainment” mutters Sylvie, rolling her eyes. “Agreed,” Loki chimes in. “I don’t see what’s so great about kicking or throwing a ball around.” And then they change the channel to America’s Funniest Videos and laugh at people falling down, because as gods of mischief, of course they do.

Who pulls the other to their feet for a dance in the living room?

Loki, and Sylvie pretends to hate it, but she’s biting back a smile, and then she’s laughing as he swings her ‘round in some dance he swears is part of some Asgardian tradition, and Loki will do anything to hear that sound, so he continues that spontaneous shenanigan.

Who has to keep reminding the other to hurry or they’ll be late?

Sylvie. Oh she has no patience for Loki and his meticulous getting-ready routine. She’s lived her life in the run, putting the minimal effort into anything but staying alive, so when Loki calls from the bathroom that he’ll “be right there” for the third time, two times past her patience’s limit, she storms up there and nearly drags him out the front door.

Who is the one most likely to get a tattoo with the other’s name?

They’re two halves of the same whole. They don’t need or want tattoos reminding them of what they already know: they belong to one another, for all time. Always.

#sylki #loki tv series #loki #loki series #loki x sylvie #loki marvel #sylvie #sylvie laufeydottir #loki laufeyson #loki headcanon #loki season 2 #WHEN?!?#*screams*

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genius-built-donatello · 8 months

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こんにちは！I'm curious, what are our brothers like in the future?

Ah, of course. I was wondering when you were going to ask.

Well, I should first put a disclaimer: I don’t actually remember much of what our brothers were like at your age, so comparisons will not come easy to me unless I were to review a significant amount of past footage.

That being said, I’m fairly certain Raph was only about six feet around the time of the invasion, and now he’s over ten, so… Oh, and if you were wondering, Leo’s a good foot and a bit shorter than us. Feel free to rub that in his face. I know I do.

All of them are pretty busy (as am I), so it’s not often that we have conversations not related to work recently. Still, they all try to make an effort.

Mikey has jobs around the base as a cook, unofficial therapist, babysitter, co-designer for the base (with me), and occasionally helps in the medbay as his mystic powers are suited to healing wounds and relieving pain. Any other time he’s meditating and/or honing his mystic powers. She’s in the lab fairly often when helping me with designs (this arrangement is why I have to ask her opinion on the new greenhouse designs and can’t go forward with them until he approves. Eyeroll). He’s still kept all his optimism (infuriating at times) and tends to frequently give me words of “wisdom” if she sees me apparently looking too down. He’s the most powerful mystic user out of anyone here, a force to be reckoned with, but his ninpo draws from his lifeforce and has made him age at an alarmingly faster rate than the rest of us. She seems to be physically about sixty years old. I’m… trying to work on something to help.

Leo’s almost as busy as me. He tries to take on as many jobs as possible, including chores, and he’s also our main strategist, sword-fighter, medic, about a dozen other minor jobs including generally being the one to keep up the spirits of the Resistance (his way is with karaoke and movie nights. Can you guess who has to salvage and restore the movies for said movie nights and the songs for said karaoke nights). He’s also the one who has the final say on what the Resistance needs me to make. Hence why most of our conversations are work-related; I get majority of my tasks from him, especially with big projects such as “fifty guns by next week” and “twenty full sets of armour” and “a new speaker unless you still have to make those crutches by the way why haven’t you done that yet” et cetera, et cetera. He’s not serious, exactly, but he’s certainly more on edge as the days go by. Which is understandable. I think he and I get approximately the same amount of sleep (which is, as my head has made me painfully aware, not much).

Raph is, as I mentioned before, frankly a giant. He mainly works with Leo on battle strategy, but often he’s checking in on everyone (including me). He also likes to work in the nursery with the smaller children. He insists on going on as many missions as possible, always needing to be making sure everyone’s safe. Which is fine, he is not easy to take down-

Wait…

Past me, I must cut this conversation short because I think I just saw April walk by on the cameras okay BYE I’LL TALK TO YOU LATER

#incoming transmission [asks]#othellotron9000

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alittlefrenchtree · 25 days

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I feel like Taylor is not as ambitious about his acting projects as compared to N(which isn't a bad thing don't get me wrong)

In every interview that Nick had he's always had his eyes on the next thing...he even started his own production company like that's a feat. And he now wants to move away from romance genre which is an indication he's getting a lotta scripts

I feel like T is gonna be more into modelling/entrepreneurial side of Hollywood

I remember him mentioning wanting to have his own skincare range

Oooo and also about his scripts,I think he would like to be behind the scenes as well

I think you don't mean any of this in a bad way but I also feel you're biased/influenced by snapshots of the moment, which we all are in some ways.

Snapshot 1: Nick is in the middle of two promo tours, which means he has been and will be publicly saying stuff, a whole lot of stuff and not everything has to be taken quite literally, especially when it's second hand quotes without much context. For example, moving away from romance genre doesn't really mean anything, because romance is part of almost every genre and every movie. And I'm pretty sure if he had a call tomorrow with Villeneuve or Nolan asking him to play a damn prince in a damn romcom, he would be signing that contract without much care for what he said in that previous interview he doesn't even remember.

Being in the middle of two long promo tour also makes him appears on his best day almost every day for 2 months and it does have an influence of how he's seen right now.

Snapshot 2: I've said it before but the misconception is still so strong in this fandom: Nick and Taylor are both at such a different stage of a very different career, the comparison still doesn't make sense at all. Nick already had the opportunities to show so much of himself, I hope he's getting all the scripts in his hands at the moment. Even if getting scripts actually means way less it can sound for an outsider.

Taylor is just getting there, he has so much to build from where he is, but from what he said, he's just as ambitious for the things he wants to be part of as an actor, including what it means for representation as a Latin Amercian.

Long story short, it's way easier to see where Nick is heading than Taylor because Nick (metaphorically) starts walking long before Taylor. (I know they start around the same year, that's why i said metaphorically. Like said, Nick has way more relevant lines to his filmography than Taylor right now, that's what I mean. No, I'm not saying Nick is talented and Taylor is not. Yes, I know all about Taylor struggles, and being a poc, and family, and covid, and strike).

But I like the fact that you mentioned production for one and writing scripts for the other. It's very telling about what they each want and looking for right now, I think. Getting a foot in producing is really common for an actor who is starting to feel like they established themselves in the industry. It's very often a way to be more involved in the making of projects you're part of (an not like, just being a random producer on a random project) or helping an indie project your care about to be done. Nick says he's looking for fulfilling roles and producing is one way to get that.

For me, the will to write could comes from a very different place. I know one of the main reason I write is because I can't find what I'm looking for in the things that are already written by others. And giving what Taylor previously said about the lack of representation, the bad ones and the kind of roles he were asked, I wouldn't be surprised to see that the things he writes or wrote come from that place.

For the record, I intended to answer in two lines. I don't know what this is to be honest. Hope it's interesting somehow. And Anon, I hope I've answered you in a way that you're ok with. I don't know, I should be working anyway 🤓

#alft asks #not tagging in hope to keep my inbox a bit safer 💕

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cato-of-blamesociety · 6 months

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32 Weeks Tracklist/Song Picks pt. 3 (weeks 17-24)

How/Why did I choose/chose to use the songs I did

*Full breakdown, updated in real time(weekly)*

17. Killer Mike ft. El-P, thankugoodsir x Don't Let The Devil

I have always respected Killer Mike as an artist and I a few years back respected his political endeavors. Mike has never let me down lyrically when I heard him on features. Honestly, though I respect him, I never really got into his music. I did at one point either last year or the year prior, check out his album "R.A.P. Music" and I started listening to the RTJ series. His vocal presence is one of a kind. I have this thing where I feel that an artist's recorded voice really determines if I want to hear them. There are several emcees that I just can't get into due their voices not being conducive to my ears. Mike and El-P have amazing deliveries. In June (2023) Killer Mike drops 'Michael' and I knew from the very first listen that this album is/would be a classic. I listened to it on repeat for a week. Andre 3000 makes an appearance on my favorite track "Scientist & Engineers". I actually have many songs on this album I f*ck with: "Something for the junkies", "Motherless", "Slummer", "Talk'n that shit", and "Run". In June, I was nearing the end of writing for #32weeks, and I was having a hard time (as usual) finding a beat. I knew I wanted to incorporate some instrumentals from this album. I truly wanted to use "Scientist & Engineers" but I didn't feel as eccentric as Dre, and the intro before the beat drops, was too long lol. Instead, I landed on "Don't Let The Devil'. I had this melody in my head that came when vibing to beat. It becomes those opening lines "Tell me, do you smell me? That's peace of mind, and deep patchouli" (the fragrance oil I have been wearing since my early 20's) and it led me to to rhyme Halle Berry. Then I went on a tangent to try an remember where did I hear "almost went Eric Benet....never do Eric Benet" and then I remember it's Jay Z's line from "Kill Jay Z". After I complete the comparisons, I launch into some metaphors that to this day are some of my favorites on this project. I used one more instrumental from this album, but I will share when it's time. Hope you enjoy the track!

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18. Pusha T ft. Jay Z, Pharrell x Neck and Wrist Don't Lie

If there is one thing you can guarantee from Push, when he releases a project, not only will the album but fire, but he usually has a great knack for themes/motifs/stories, but dude is soooo creative at giving the listener "dope" lines. Like when I want to hear a rapper speak about cocaine...I usually prefer Pusha. His wordplay, and metaphors are immaculate when it especially outlines hustling/moving coke. Which is why I didn't even hesitate, as soon as "Almost Dry" came out, I was all over it. The beats, the cadence, and stories made that project amazing. going into #32WeeksMixtape, I quickly understood that I wanted use a beat from his album. So many good ones, "Brambleton", "Dreaming of a Past"(Donnie's sample gives me chills and makes me tear up each time I hear this come on...), "Just So You Remember"(reminds of a movie that I can't recall the title of..), "Diet Coke"(only I can have a snow fight...damn fire) "Rock N Roll"(Ye and Cudi...c'mon man what else you what) "Scrape it off"...basically you see the problem...all of them are hot. I just kept coming back to "Neck and Wrist Don't Lie". This one just was more so my cadence/vibe. The first line that came to me one while airing the beat on repeat "Roll around the South side, stereo banging.." That bar lead to talking about my Orgone pendant. Then I flowed into the idea of talkign about my wife...I couldn't resist...which is a reference to the track before (week 17) where I mention my smell/colgne/oils I wear are Patchouli and Peace of Mind. AFter knocking out those lines, I got into a string of drug based lines, which are derived from the "cooking" analogy. After I got to "Rappy Mason", I got stuck again. But then we changed gears and I wanted highlight that I admire Dolph and Nipsey for their business ventures and I too would love B.L.A.M.E to be a company/brand that I run and nothing else. I want to be the boss. Anyway I hope you enjoy the visuals. I love when things don't straight away make sense, this makes us think harder, and even ask questions. So please feel free to comment on here or on the video with questions or thoughts!

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19. Vince Staples x Rose Street

YOOOOO!!! In case you don't know, Vince's "Ramona Park Broke My Heart" album is just incredible. I will do my best to keep this brief...🤞🏾. Ok, first off this album dropped last April (2022). I had been wishing on a another album from Vince because "Vince Staples" (self titled) was lit. Anyway, a few days or weeks, honestly I have no clue, it is posted that Vince was to do a "live" or streamed version of the album via Moment House in May of that year. I was soooo geeked. I had missed the ONE concert that came to St. Louis in Feb 2022. It was the "Call Me If You Get Lost Tour". My wife and I did want to see Vince, but since he wasn't headlining...(and since this is before my indoctrination of Tyler, the Creator's music), we decided against it. 😢😒 My dumbass. haha. Anyway, I had selected the Monday, May 2, for our viewing. I was enchanted that entire show. I f*ck with Vince because of his musical ability, but really for his art that surrounds it. His videos are always sharing a message about class/race/violence/dangers of the music show business. "Ramona Park Broke My Heart" has some dope tracks. Like literally I can't really just list a few...but I will try my hardest. Ok.."When Sparks Fly', gave me hella chills. He basically makes you think off the bat that he is talking to his woman...and then he immediately pulls the rug out from under you. *plot twist* lol. This song reminds me of Nas' 'I gave you power'. I don't want to ruin the surprise, if you don't know, you have to listen to both songs and witness the greatness both artists display on these tracks. The other favorite that truly sticks to my mind, mainly due to the production is "Rose Street"(the skit right before it IS POWERFUL!!). I love the idea that he states he "don't sing no love songs". That might be true regarding women, but "When Sparks Fly" is nothing short of a love ballad. Rose Street was not the first beat I wanted to use. I think "Playa Ways", and "Lemonade "were top contenders, however, they just didn't fit the direction I was moving with #32weeksMixtape. "East Point Player" has high replay value, but was too slow for my flow. Rose Street's theme of denying love for women(or rather the idea of falling in love with women), or not being able to trust them, and being married to the streets had me wanting to flip the vibe. The chorus was the first idea that came to me, "She know we in love, all in, Us, all in, Trust, all in...I'm married to my very bestfriend. And it's gone be like that until the very end." The next thought was how to go about that topic. Out of nowhere, I was like "I will never forget the time you chose to say yes". I am so happy that I wrote about my proposal. It's one of those things that I guess I deemed sacred, and didn't want to ruin it by sharing it with the world. But as an artist I have come to realize and understand that the best music is the relatable stuff. If you have proposed to someone, you would know that universal feeling of 'what if they say no?'. I hope you enjoy, share, like, and comment on the video with your thoughts. It would be dope if people share their marriage proposals either on here or my "YouTube Channel Community Tab" . I love stuff like that. If you are reading this, thank you, I love you, and I hope you are well. 💙💙💙

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20. Killer Mike ft. Young Thug, Dave Chappelle x Run

I know what you are thinking..."Bro, didn't you use a track from this album already?" YES!!! I Did!! Honestly I wanted to keep a tamper on the amount of artist I would use in the project, and came to the conclusion that I would use some artist/albums more than once. I actually wrote to "RUN" before I wrote to "Don't Let The Devil". I have already outlined why I gravitated to this album, so I want to highlight my content in this track. The verse is written in vignettes(I am uncertain if that is the correct word to use) but each section is a quick blurb about a point in my life. The first is me getting arrested...and not running. Second, was me getting stopped by an officer on my way to the school's gym to practice, and how that could have ended horribly...there were no witnesses, I was by myself, and truly at the mercy of this officer. He wasn't ignorant, but still.. you do get it....right? This was back in like 2006 or 2007. The next story is me playing on the team. I had respect and that's all I needed. I know I wasn't the best. I will talk that more around Week23. Next, I lay the summary of my foot game. I walked everywhere. That was life changing. My mama gave me freedom to visit friends, get a job, and I did it all independently so that I wouldn't have to wait or rely on others. It did get tricky in the winter, but even then, I would double up my jacket/hoodie and walk or run to work. I was serious about making my bread. I touch briefly on the emotional ways I ran from relationships. Gratefully, Erin would remain in my life even though I ran from her love all those years. The final story is me opening up about a being involved in a consensual sexual experience with 5 other people. I learned that day that exhibitionism or group sexual acts, were NOT my thing. I know for some this isn't big deal. But I was very uncomfortable. I also learned that it is ok to walk away/run from something like that. I am grateful that I didn't allow the pressure to keep me in that room that night. I remember everyone that was there...we really haven't talked in years, 2 are actually not on this plane of existence anymore. I am happy I found a way to express to this incident because it bothered me for years not getting it off my chest. With all that said, if you read all this...thank you again for listening. I hope all is well with you. I would love to hear from you. Feel free to hit my Youtube Channel, My email, or message me on here!

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21. Kanye West ft. Roddy Ricch x Pure Souls

I'm gonna cut directly to the chase, the first(second, and third) time I listened to "Donda"...I didn't get it. Then I realized/learned that Donda was his mother's name. During the process of writing #32WeeksMixtape, I had already seen the Jeeny-uhs Documentary(full documentary on NETFLIX). That sh*t broke my heart. I remember hearing years ago about how much his mother poured into that boy/man. He truly felt invincible. So even though as someone who hasn't lost their mother, but has lost a father, I didn't comprehend fully his messages, but I FELT it. I knew I wanted to use a Ye beat for this project, but the issue was where would I pull from. My first instinct was to use the KIDS SEE GHOST album...so many fire tracks to use. Then I was I like, nah, maybe The Life Of Pablo---No way. I knew I couldn't live up that hype! Yeezus, though dope af, is too experimental for my style. I started clicking through Donda... Jail...OMG. I love those "guitars" in the intro, but there aren't any drums...which I prefer lol. God Breathed was a big pull, but nothing popped in my head. I think Off the Grid was a HUGE fav from this album. But again, nothing came to mind, at least nothing good. Then I heard that intro of Pure Souls, just...well you know. I am playing it right now as I write this and I am tearing up. "...and I can not sell my soul!" - fire. I sat with this beat for at least a week. I heard that "truth is what you get away huh" and it started clicking. I knew that at the top of the verse I would go into a traumatic event that happened to me during my first year as a school counselor. Not to go into too many details, but a child had nude images of themselves on their district iPad, but in a way that suggested that they did not take the photo themselves. The photos were shown to me nonchalant and something like "Look this boy got porn on his device, smh." I was the one to point out that it was the child and not an adult. THAT SH*T F*CKED ME UP!! There were several images. Protocol was violated, I did my part like I was supposed to, I did a mandated call and some more stuff. After dealing with that parent who was clearly gaslighting, hiding evidence, and was manipulative..it did a number on my psyche. Earlier in the year I had been researching about Past Life Regressions. This one guy on YouTube named Astro Einstein, was uploading his sessions with his clients and truly opened my eyes to how it could help me. One day I will share my experience more in-depth but I do talk about it on it slightly in my mixtape, week 11, Tyler, The Creator x Massa verse. Later, I was able to find a therapist to talk through it as well. I learned so much about boundaries and protecting my peace. I won't let someone violate me like this again. Anyway, I hope you rock with the song. Every time I play through the tape, after this song, comes week 22, and it always brings a sense of relief because the sequencing sets up a sort of endorphin release...you will see😉. I think those who are going through it, or just coming out of a storm, will feel the relief the most. If you are reading this still, thank you!! And if no one has told you today that they love you, motherf*cker, I do!!

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22. Metro Boomin ft A$AP Rocky & Roisee x Am I Dreaming

YOOOOO!!! Ok lets go back to May of this year 2023...I don't know about you, but the sequel to the most dopest animated Spidey film was about to drop(yes I know this trailer is from Dec. 22)...but what makes this even more special...it is announced that muthaf*ckin' Metro Boomin was going to be the lead on the soundtrack. A month later, in June, the album/soundtrack is released! My wife, kids, and I had it on heavy rotation; "METRO BOOMIN PRESENTS SPIDER-MAN ACROSS THE SPIDER-VERSE". The whole project is fire. Some songs grew on me over time but overall amazing replay value. As you should know by now, June was heavy #32weeksMixtape writing era. I turned this on and knew I had to pick something...even though I had already used a Metro Track, "Umbrella" (from "Heroes and Villains"). "Annihilate" comes in so hot. I wanted it so bad but couldn't find a version online that sounded good enough. My next pick was "Givin' Up(Not the One)" because I think I sound as good as 21 Savage over a Metro Boomin beat. *Don't forget he is in Umbrella!*. But I felt the tempo was just slightly too slow. "Self- Love" stood out instantly however, the words just didn't come to me. OMG, I almost forgot, Danger! JID killed it, and I felt I couldn't get away from his type of flow, or do any better for that matter. This leaves me with 2 other picks that I actually land on. "Calling" & "Am I Dreaming". I will talk more about "Calling" in a few weeks. "Am I Dreaming"...those strings, they get me every f*cking time. Even now as I write this, it's playing in my earbuds. For those who haven't seen the film, which I am sure everyone has at this point, the movie's ending credits feature this track. Perfecto! Anyway, at this point in writing the project, I was just over halfway, and felt this immense burden lifted. I start reflecting on the process and the hook came to me. This was written before I saw the movie. Climbing/falling, swimming/drowning, doubting/making it to the next round, ultimately defeating myself(fear, doubt, disbelief, old behaviors) and becoming a more evolved me. this works on two levels as I introduce my big brother. I say a lot about his athleticism, (which I go into more the next song), because we bonded heavily over basketball. I mention in week 20 (RUN remix) about how he was/is great which is how I knew I wasn't great. So imagine seeing someone who is great and still rejected! I had to include it. My brother, David, has been through a lot. I remember being old enough to see his flaws, his bad choices, and immaturity. I told myself I would never be like him. I referred to him as the role model for what I didn't want to be. Which is crazy, because as a youngin'--with out a father, I wanted to be as cool as him! As time passed, having my own kids, seeing my brother rise and fall, dealing with my own issues, it finally clicked. My brother was a human. Nothing more and nothing less. Humans make mistakes, we learn, hopefully evolve, and do less harm as we proceed. It is truly an eye opening, mind blowing, bone crushing reality, to acknowledge that someone you put on a pedestal falls...but it hurts more when you see yourself in them (empathy and compassion). David, if you ever read my sh*t, I hope you know I am proud of you. You are worthy of love. You are an awesome father, brother, uncle, and more! You have been blessed with so many f*cking talents and gifts. My hope and wish is that you see what I see when I look at you today....SUPER!!! Those of you coming and checking for Cato's sh*t, 1 year, 5 years, 10 years (ha!)from now, I love you and hope that you tell those people that you really care about that you f*cking love them too! Enjoy the song and the visuals!!

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23. Lil Durk ft. Morgan Wallen x Stand By Me

I am very new to listening to Lil Durk. I remember seeing some of his early mixtapes many years ago, but wasn't interested. Students I would work with also brought him up in a few different conversations. During summer school this past year (SY 22-23, June '23) which was deep #32weeksMixtape writing era, I actually asked some kids, what Durk song(s) should I check out. This was about a month after the album dropped, which I had no idea about. The album is titled "Almost Healed". The kids told me to check out "All My Life". They recommended the track "Expedite This Letter" from the Album/mixtape "7220". Listening to it now, it cringes me out thinking that these elementary scholars shared this one with me...if you check it out, you will see why I feel grossed out. Anyway, back to "All My Life". This caught me by surprised because it features J.Cole! I was like, "Ok, I most definitely have to check this out." What I noticed is that the album opens up like a "Therapy Session" which as a school counselor, hooks me right in. Especially coming off that "Mr. Morale and The Big Steppers" almost on a daily basis, this makes me happy that another artist is opening up in a seemingly genuine way about their issues with out the bravado. This made me feel like, "I f*ck with dude." I delved into the album, now lets list the tracks I wanted to fool with the most..."All My Life" instantly I had to let go because Cole already snatched it. I didn't feel I could add anything to it. But the song is amazing. "Put Em On Ice" has a vibe I like, however, nothing came to mind. "War Bout It ft. 21 Savage"...at this point, you know when Savage is a feature, I usually f*ck with it. Unfortunately, I couldn't find a solid remake beat. There were 2 others I liked and actually used. Cross the Globe ft. Juice Wrld, and "Stand By Me". I will get back to you on Cross the Globe. "Stand By Me" comes on and I hear the melody, instantly I feel nostalgic. "Ok, Lets Go Way Back..." I began with a string of exercises that I did with Big Bro Dave. I mention him in the previous post. Those days left such an impression on me. We kept track of our progress, our reps, and were really getting shredded. By Middle School my muscle mass was awesome. All the exercise I did helped keep my asthma in check. Also to clarify, Varsity did not win the state championships! SMH. I had to research it(after I already completed the damn video), and saw my school actually came in 3rd that year...which still a huge accomplishment. The game that I reference was big game because it was the last game for the season, and by winning got us a spot to play in the championship tournament. Apart of me is embarrassed for making this mistake, and being negligent in not double checking the facts. The other side of me, the artist, says who cares?! We were so f*cking excited and elated, that it FELT like we won the motherf*cking state championship title! Anyway, at this moment I would love to shout out my team mates, I appreciate those years playing along side you. I also want to shout out the coaches. I doubt you will ever see this, but I appreciate the life lessons of always hustling to get what you what, getting up and at it, and REBOUNDING! Not only is my son currently playing ball, my other son is interested as well, and I have the honor of coaching the elementary school kids I work with! These kids are just as hardworking as they are hard headed, but I love it. Appreciate anyone who is reading this right now. Let this long as post remind you that: 1. nothing lasts forever(esp pain) 2. You can always try again 3. A break can fix you(a day off, a step back, take a breather, then come back harder/better than ever). If no one has told you today, I love you...Now share that love with someone else!

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24. Joyner Lucas ft. Timbaland x 10 Bands

First off, I knew Joyner was cold. I just never really got into him. My wife actually was bumping his sh*t before me. She shared with me ISIS...and I was like WTF!!! I had been into Logic at the time, going through his catalog. It was around this time she told me play ISIS. Hearing Joyner I was like this dude on a whole 'nother level. It took awhile but I had went through his whole album 'ADHD'. Fast forward to the #32weeks writing era, and I remembered that ADHD had some dope ass instrumentals. Lets see...ISIS is tough, but too fast, not my style, and they already murdered it twice..."double homicide kill the beat and the verses..." "The War" is sonically pleasing but I don't think I could come up with anything. "I love" is a banger for sure. Not my vibe though....ok I don't know what's going on, but sliding through this mf right now, I f*ck with all these beats. I don't what I was thinking, I think "10 Bands" came on/I found an instrumental that had good quality and closest to the original and the hook just came to me. "Parenting, Parenting, Parenting, this go out to the parents yeah!" There is one more beat that actually use from this album...i use the title track. It is something about the way the beat wobbles and is wavy. We will talk about that soon. Anyway, the verse for 10 Bands is just a blub about my boys. I try to include them in all my works now that they are here. They inspire me so much. The idea for this song is that I lay out their annoying traits, but then follow up with their amazing qualities. What is even more crazy is that as a parent we see our own personalities within our children play out in many different ways. I love them boys for real. I don't know how that video will be up. As of now they enjoy seeing themselves on the screen, but if that should change I will take it down. I almost forgot! In the verse I say "I told you they were little sh*ts.." This is a reference to the actual track/theme song of the Little Sh*ts Podcast my wife and I had did awhile back. In the video I have the Spotify track on display and circle it.

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P.S.

I can't believe that this is number 24...like I have been consistently creating visuals, creating snippets of those(about 2-4), posting each of those on each f*cking social media site that I have an account for, writing up the "behind the music" post on here...EVERY F*CKING WEEK FOR THE LAST 24 WEEKS!!! I know this isn't exactly the info to put in theses posts, but I know that *you*(maybe a week from this post, or a year, hell even 5 years now) will be reading this like, "Damn n*gga, it's not that hard.." 1st off, remember I work a full time job every week day, I have a family, these activities that contribute to fulfillment of a project that as of today isn't "seen" at all or taking serious. Like on my mama, this definitely the greatest project that I have ever endured. I mentioned to people before I started releasing tracks, that the #32weeks itself (the writing, the time consumed on my mf phone/CPU, the struggle to maintain sanity while dealing with tough 8hr work day, to stay connected to family, and through it all, actually see this visual mixtape to its completion! So please make some noise for me on the internet. Help me make history. Time is not on our side, but time spent building something incredible that make life feel more limitless, to me, is time well spent. Apologies if that all sounded bitter and crass, it just feels like no one sees that effort that goes into this. I love you and hope you are taking care of yourself. Give the tracks play and please share it all with a music geek who can get into my music! 💙💙💙 I just found out today another acquaintance from earlier in my life has passed. He went LIVE on Facebook and basically expressed that he was tired, he felt alone, and felt like no one loved him. He made that video yesterday(~12/20) and I saw that new of it today (12/21). RIH RM. I know I can't be there for everyone, but apart of me wishes that I reached out to him the minute I saw his video...and I didn't. 💔 So my heart is slightly heavy as I write this. I know I am not to blame, because I don't have the power to control a man's decisions. To counter the negative feelings I have right now, I chose to practice gratitude. I am grateful for my life, grateful for my wife, grateful for my sons, grateful for my family, grateful for my homies[Domo, Tyson, Will, Paris(💔💙), Brandon, my f*cking brother Dave]grateful for the chance to create music, grateful that I have grown, grateful for love...Love is...beauitful. If you see this, well mf, I am grateful for you as well.

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batri-jopa · 2 years

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I've been asked (hi there, @notasapleasure) to say what I think about the movie Wet Sand / სველი ქვიშა (2021, dir. Elene Naveriani) once I see it. I watched it recently and actually like to share my feelings with someone so...

My impressions follows:

Inspiration by the greatest ancient classics such as Antigone by Sophocles in modern popular culture is rare and always welcomed

Even more praise for showing love among elderly people - which somehow needs even more courage than showing young queers

I believe if the movie was more mainstream this jacket would go viral

Making the same actor saying similar text as in And Then We Danced seemed somewhat cheap to me at first, but then I thought it was kind of winking to ATWD fans: "Hello, we know you're there!" - so okey, that was kind of nice...

...and besides obvious similarity - the line still sounded different due to its intentions and conditions. So might it be condidered some kind of polemic with ATWD line even?

I really liked the way the title never was explained directly "in your face" - yet somewhere in the end you are shown a wave coming and going over the sand: leaving it wet, then slowly drying, then wet again, and again, repeatedly... And suddenly you realise how much it fitted the character's life

I wonder if the girl's comment on the photo (that was not itself shown to the audience) was a hint of that person being trans? (it was something like "beautiful as his mother" but I don't remember exactly)

The scene with the letter and the wine bottle has the potential to make me cry my eyes out everytime I think about it... (because yeah I definitely needed to elongate my "sob-on-demand" list, thank you movie makers...)

Yes of course I am going to compare Wet Sand and And Then We Danced even though such comparison can ONLY be justified by the fact that those are only two georgian movies I know and both happen to be queer

Best thing is that those are two very different and independent stories😋

I've seen some reviews complaining that in ATWD there were too many social issues at once, suggesting like it was forced or something... But it is Wet Sand that is literally overfilled with those, not only homophoby but also domestic violence and generally intolerance and prejudice toward everyone and everyone a bit different than the rest of the conservative community.

And no matter the kind of "happy ending" that was in Wet Sand and not so much in ATWD (more "open ending" it was than a "happy" one) - still to me ATWD felt a tiny bit more hopeful. Alright, the film concentrating on death and funeral obviously had no chances of being overall optimistic. Especially when ATWD was showing the point of view of joyful freeminded young people who still have hopes and chances for the better life before them. And we were not shown any really terrible scenes there, only hearing about poor Zaza, like it was just gossip and not a person of flesh and bones. Also I think when living in the capital city one may count on more support from community of people alike - simply because the community is larger and stronger than a tiny group of "outcasts" in the province can ever be.

There's a short description of Wet Sand on IMDB using a phrase "friendly people" and now after watching the movie it makes me feel sick to see it...🤢

...especially as some of the most terrifying acts of those "friendly people" so much reminded me of Aftermath / Pokłosie (2012) dir. Władysław Pasikowski...

...but still one of their most horrible actions - accidentaly turned out to be the right thing to do - so that was kind of a spark (nomen omen) of hope

So generally it was a good movie. Maybe not a great one. But definitely GOOD.

And, when I think about it, it reminds me of so many other good and great movies I know and would gladly recommend to anyone interested (most of them also being on my "sob-on-demand" list BTW)

Organising funeral of a lonely man a bit like in Still life (2013, dir. Uberto Pasolini)

A story about relationship and loss seems like a reversed version of the one shown in A Single man (2009, dir. Tom Ford) (my very favorite queer-themed movie before watching ATWD, now my second favorite)

Of course a bit of similarity to Brokeback Mountain (2005) dir. Ang Lee as well

And The Bridges of Madison County (1995) dir. Clint Eastwood too...

Departures / Okuribito (2008) dir. Yôjirô Takita is a similar not only because of the burial theme but also the atmosphere. No kidding, when watching Wet Sand I felt like watching a japanese movie, only with strangly not-japanese looking actors in it.

And that will be it for now.

#cinemaniac off the leash #sob-on-demand list #wet sand #სველი ქვიშა #georgian cinema #ATWD #queer movies #and then we danced #lgbt movie #gay movies #lesbian movies #LGBTQ #lgbtqia #lgbtqplus

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writingfanfiction · 2 years

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“My best friend’s wedding” - Chapter Seven

Pair: Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Modern AU. On the night of their college graduation, Steve and Y/N made an agreement: if when both of them were 30 neither had gotten married, they would marry each other. Three weeks before their 30th birthday, Steve calls Y/N to tell her that he’s engaged. Having been in love with Steve all along, she is going to do all that is in her power to win Steve’s love.

A/N: Loosely based on the movie of the same name.

“My best friend’s wedding” masterlist | Main masterlist

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A note for previous readers: I’m sorry it took me so long to update. A lot of things have been going on in my life, and it was hard for me to find the time to write. I also struggled a bit to write this chapter, so I hope you are not disappointed with this update. I’ll try to post the next chapter in a shorter span of time, since I have pretty much all of this story mapped out, but I can’t make any promises. Have a nice reading!

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Previous chapter | Next chapter coming soon

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Being wrapped up in Bucky forever wasn’t really an option, as much as you wished it were. So, you eventually disentangled yourself from him and downed all of your water without making eye contact with anyone. Your mind was going a mile a minute without properly concocting a single complete thought. You couldn’t stay at that table any longer, so when all your water was drunk, you excused yourself to no one in particular and left the table, once again not looking at a single person. Soon you were outside, at the sidewalk, breathing the not so fresh air of the Boston streets.

What exactly was happening?! What had your life become?! You weren’t like this! What had you become since Steve told you he was engaged?! You were a mess! A complete and utter mess! You were in the process of losing him, of losing the man you knew to be the one, and that had you completely uncontrolled! You even agreed to pretend to be in a fake relationship with Bucky in order to try and get Steve back! What were you thinking?! You were pacing frantically, tugging at your hair. You let your hair go, dropped your arms and saw the hair tie on your wrist. The black accessory inconspicuous to anyone but you. You felt your checks heating up at the memory the flimsy cloth brought you.

How could have you let Bucky kiss you?! No, how could you be the one who actually decided you two should kiss?! What had taken you over?! Bucky was your closest and best friend! You leaned against the wall of the restaurant, closed your eyes and inhaled deeply. You could still feel the gentleness of Bucky’s large hand in your face, his care about letting you decide how to proceed with the kiss, the pressure of his fingers on your waist when he pulled you closer to him, the tenderness of his lips on yours… The memory of it sent shivers down your whole body… It was the most extraordinary kiss you had ever had, and the memory had you wishing for another. You quickly opened your eyes.

Bad Y/N! You weren’t supposed to feel like that! Bucky was your friend! Not only that, but that very morning, you had realised he was your best friend! You weren’t supposed to feel like this about his kiss! You weren’t supposed to kiss him at all! And yet, you couldn’t shake the realisation that every other kiss you had had in the past had paled in comparison. What you felt while kissing Bucky was absolutely superior to what you had felt kissing any other man. Not that you had actually kissed a lot of them…

You were also very aware of the fact that not even Steve had made you feel that way during all the kisses you had shared, and you had always thought he was the best kisser in the world. You had always remembered your last kiss fondly, the one at the night of your college graduation, cherishing it and comparing it to all the other handful of kisses you had had afterwards. No guy had ever compared to that. Until a couple of moments before. Bucky was one heck of a kisser. If Bucky could kiss you like that, you could only imagine how he would kiss someone he had actual feelings for. You didn’t know why, but this thought upset you. And it would happen, wouldn’t it? Bucky was bound to find his own Sharon, and you were going to end up alone. He too would get married, and things would change between the both of you as well. Oh gosh… You closed your eyes again and inhaled deeply. First Nat left, then Steve, but Bucky had always been there, supporting you through all of those changes. Who would support you when he left? He may not actually leave New York, but he would leave the little life you guys had built when he found an astonishing woman who actually were the most caring and intelligent one he had ever had the pleasure of encountering. One who would actually challenge his mind and his heart.

You were starting to breath heavily when you heard, “Y/N, darling, are you alright? You’ve been gone for a while.” You opened your eyes to see a pair of deeply concerned blue ones looking at you.

You managed to find your voice, and answered him, “Things have just been a tad overwhelming, that’s all.” You smiled halfheartedly at Bucky.

“I know, kissing me can be an Earth shattering event.” He smiled mischievously at you, clearly trying to make you feel better. You couldn’t possibly tell him how close to the truth he was, so you just rolled your eyes and playfully shoved him. He smiled brightly at you and pulled you gently over to him, hugging you tenderly. Even if all your unsettling thoughts didn’t vanish, a deep comfort settled within you almost immediately as you buried your face in his chest and felt his arms around you. You always wondered how he had this power over you, how you, someone who was so uncomfortable with other people’s touches, always felt so completely comfortable whenever he touched you, and how you had come to crave his touch when you were distressed, specially in the last few days. As you enjoyed the feeling that only he could bring you, Bucky kept talking, “I know a lot has happened today, darling, but everything will be OK.” He kissed the top of your head. Would it, though? “And before you ask me if they really will, I know so.” He often did this. He often knew what was going on in your head without you needing to say anything. How did he manage it, you would never know. You nuzzled his chest and he held you tighter. “I know everything will be OK because it doesn’t matter what the outcome of all of this will be, you are the strongest, most wonderful woman I know, and you are forging such a beautiful path for yourself.” You looked up at him. His eyes were so full of feeling, so sure of what he was saying! You sighed and brought one of your hands up to play with some of his hair.

“I’m such a mess. I don’t even recognise myself anymore.” You let his hair go.

Bucky kissed the top of your head again and held you tighter. “Y/N, darling, you’re hurting. When we hurt, we often find we are not ourselves. And you are the strongest person I know, you hate to feel this vulnerability we all feel when we hurt.” Gosh, this man really knew you!

“I’m scared, Buck.”

It looked like your words physically pained him. “I understand, darling. I really do. But I’ll always be here for you, if that helps.” He smiled a small smile at you.

His words reminded you of what you had been thinking before he emerged from the restaurant, and you felt your chest constricting. You had to disentangle yourself from his arms. “You can’t promise that, Bucky,” you said as you wrapped your arms around yourself.

He frowned. “Of course I can! I’ll always be there for you.”

You shook your head. “Buck, someday you’re gonna find someone. You’re gonna find a woman to whom no other will compare. Someone who will know Wuthering Heights like the back of her hand and will understand all these little references you make about it, even when no one else has a clue about what you’re talking about. Someone to whom you’ll actually want to declare your love to in song. And I’ll be just some girl you used to know…” Your ability to talk seemed to have vanished amidst your sorrow.

“Y/N, listen to me. Even if, and that’s a big if, I do find someone, and I end up marrying her, I’m not gonna stop being your friend. I won’t! You are too important for me to just drop you!”

“Buck-”

“I won’t! Besides, if my marriage depends on her understanding my extremely obscure Wuthering Heights references, then I’m screwed, because to this day you are the only person I’ve ever met who actually understands all of them.” Bucky smiled. You knew he was trying to comfort you.

“Bucky, that’s not the point. The point-”

“I know what the point is. And I’m telling you, you really don’t have to worry about losing me, Y/N.” Bucky disentangled your arms from around yourself and drew you to his chest, hugging you once more.

What had happened to you? How could you, a strong, independent woman who was extremely put together, have become this vulnerable, scared mess? Why did you depend so much on Bucky’s words and Bucky’s touch to feel like everything was going to be OK?

You were basking in Bucky’s comforting arms when you heard, “Are you alright, Y/N?” You raised your head from Bucky’s chest to see Steve standing on the sidewalk, a concerned look on his face.

“She’s fine. She was just getting some air,” Bucky answered, rubbing your back gently. You knew why he had answered in your stead. He was helping you to pull yourself together.

“I asked Y/N,” Steve told Bucky, a hard look on his face.

You looked from one man to the other before answering, “I’m fine, Steve. We were about to go back inside”. Steve nodded, softening his facial expression as he looked at you.

Before the three of you went back into the restaurant, Steve gently touched your forearm and asked you, “Can we talk for a moment? Just the two of us?”

You looked at Bucky, who gave you a small smile and nodded before going back inside. Once he was within the walls of the restaurant, you turned back to Steve. “What do you want to talk about?”

Steve looked attentively at you, a concerned look on his face. “I just want to know if you’re really OK. I mean, there was a lot of prying from people back there, and then you were gone for quite sometime. I was worried.”

A warmth spread through your chest at Steve’s words. He cared about you. You gave him a smile and said, “I really am OK. I just… Gobbled up my profiteroles and felt a little full, so I figured getting up a little and getting some air would help.”

Steve didn’t seem to be convinced, though. “I know how you are when it comes to talking about your feelings, and Sharon and her family were very keen on knowing about-”

You had to interrupt him if you were to have a chance of controlling the course of the conversation. “A wedding is about to take place, Steve. People are bound to be in a… Romantic frame of mind. It’s no big deal, really.”

Steve was looking strangely at you. You couldn’t really decipher that expression, and you didn’t like that. After a while he spoke again, “I just worry because you get uncomfortable when things get sentimental. Because you are not comfortable displaying affection. Well… You weren’t comfortable with that. The ‘yucky love stuff’.” He air quoted the last words. Your own words.

You didn’t know what to say, because all of that was true. His words evoked the memory of the talk you had had with Sharon a couple of days before, when she told you Steve described you as someone who wasn’t up for anything that was assumed to be a female priority, like marriage or romance or love. If you were to have any chance with him still, you had to make him understand that things had changed. That you were up for all of those things. “I’ve changed. I mean, I’m not the girl that I once was.”

“Yeah. I know.” Steve’s tone was indecipherable, and the look on his face unreadable. After a couple of moments where you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything, he went on, “I just wanted to make sure you are OK.”

“I am.” You weren’t.

Steve nodded and the two of you went back into the restaurant.

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After lunch was over, you had to help with more wedding planning, and it obviously went just as bad as it had been before, if not worse. Well, from your perspective. Your reason and your feelings were a complete mess. You were overwhelmed by everything. You were incredibly glad that, since Steve was a very participant groom, the best man tagged along. If it weren’t for Bucky, you weren’t sure what would have become of you. He never left you alone, and he always had his arm around your waist, or over your shoulders, and every now and then he gently kissed the top of your head. Even though sometimes you were affectionate towards each other, that afternoon he was touching you a lot more than what was common between the two of you, but you didn’t really mind. You needed that, and you knew he wasn’t doing it just for show, just because you were supposed to be playing the loving couple. He knew you needed to be comforted, and that was how he could comfort you at that moment.

You no longer knew what to do to break up Steve and Sharon. Nothing that you had done had worked so far, and Bucky’s idea of you two faking a relationship also didn’t seem to be having any impact on Steve. He did appear to be less engaged with the wedding planning than he had been the day before, and you had caught him looking at you and Bucky with a strange expression on his face, but he hadn’t shown any signs of having suddenly realised you were the actual love of his life, the one who he was actually supposed to be planning his wedding with.

Thankfully, as evening approached, everyone was too tired of all the activities of the last few days, so there were no plans of socialising with the bride and groom and that evening. Sharon apologised profusely because of that, and you and Bucky had to assure her that it was more than OK for the two of you to make your own plans for the evening. You were exhausted from the day, so all you actually wanted was to go back to the hotel and have some room service.

Back at the hotel, you tried to let your body relax as you showered, but it wasn’t an easy thing to do, since your mind kept replaying the events of the day. A lot had happened, and that had taken a toll on you. You wanted your mind to quieten, but, unfortunately, it didn’t seem to want to cooperate.

You had just put on your pyjamas after your long shower when you heard a knock on your door. Who could it be? You went to the door, opening it to find a freshly showered Bucky, hair still wet, in a white T-shirt and flannel pants. “Have you ordered anything to eat yet?” He asked, a small smile on his face. You felt a wave of comfort wash over you from seeing Bucky standing there. He hadn’t said it, but you knew he was there because he knew you needed him. He always did. You smiled at him and shook your head in answer to his question, letting your best friend into your room.

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Previous chapter | Next chapter coming soon

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Taglist: @winterdrag0n and @fangirl-swagg.

#steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes x reader #steve rogers x y/n #bucky barnes x y/n #steve rogers fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfiction #steve rogers fanfic #bucky barnes fanfic

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