#I actually wanted to make a second part to Lee first date

[missmetus]

the sand siblings...beign sibling.

#I actually wanted to make a second part to Lee first date #but I'm too lazy #so #sand siblings #gaar #temari #kankuro #naruto #naruto fanart #nartposting #etc etc

[srjlvr]

[ LET’S GET MARRIED ! ] — lhs <3

PAIRING. lee heeseung!student X femreader!student !

SYN. the uni is giving away free dorms! under one condition, in order to save your desperate broke ass student’s life, you’d have to get married. and who’d be the lucky person to marry you if not your childhood friend? no feelings involved of course!…..right?

GENRE. he fell first but she fell harder, basically being in denial for feelings at first, childhood friends to a married couple, fluff fluff fluff !

WARNINGS. mentions of getting married(obv), rest of enha and lesserafim’s yunjin & chaewon are in it too, mentions on having kids(no, there will be no kids here its nothing serious!!), mentions of food, being broke because of uni student life. (pls do lmk if i missed something!) || NOT PROOFREAD AND VERY POORLY WRITTEN!!

WORD-COUNT. 5.1k+ (damn!)

NOTE. this is me being extremely sorry for not continuing my heeseung smau by releasing a heeseung oneshot yay!! i actually got the inspiration from HAPPINESS (one of my fav kdramas!) please leave some feedbacks!! i really wanna know what you thought about it<3

when you were younger, you’ve made a wishing list to you in the future, as soon as you turn an adult.

three important wishes were ;

first, never go broke while being a uni student.

second, never get married before the age of 25.

third, never ever fall in love with your best friend since childhood, aka lee heeseung.

first one is already being a huge failure. younger you would be definitely disappointed in uni student you, not that you care that much, but being a broke student sucks.

“my parents are literally about to kick me out, i get that, i’m a 22 years old uni student who’s still living up their asses, they probably want some peaceful and quiet life” you smacked your head over the lunch table, both of your friends looking at you concerned.

“maybe it’s time for you to pay for the dor-“

“never! yunjin, tell her how broke i am”

“she has like 1 dollar in her bank account, she’s still taking loans from her parents” yunjin nodded and you rolled your eyes.

“you didn’t have to go that far”

“oh i did”

“oh i know! what if you just start working?” chaewon raised her voice a bit.

“i have no time!”

“excuses excuses blah blah blah” she mocked you.

“look at heeseung for example, he works in a part time job at the convenience store right next to uni” yunjin pointed out.

you searched through the lunch hall and found the one person you’ve been looking for, lee heeseung.

you’ve been stuck to him ever since childhood, with your mothers being the biggest best friends you’ve ever seen, it was pretty hard to not see him every day in your young days.

both of your mothers even got pregnant at the same time, and gave birth around the same time, you’re two days younger than him.

your photo album is full with pictures of you and him, and so are the hanged photos on your house wall.

your mother and his mother were your biggest shippers, forcing you both to hug each other and even wear matching clothes.

your elementary school memories are filled with heeseung next to you and the whole class shipping you two.

highschool days weren’t better either, guys who wanted to try a move on you were always so scared of heeseung, they were so sure you and him are dating, with the amount of glares they got from him it was really hard to think otherwise.

your highschool crushes rejected you, always giving the excuse of not wanting to be in a relationship, hiding the fact that heeseung warned them that if they’ll say yes he’ll make sure they never see a daylight again.

he was joking, really. he’s not the violent type, and he couldn’t really explain why was he feeling so jealous whenever he saw you confessing to a guy who isn’t him.

heeseung got used to watching you from afar and protecting you, and you got used to search him everywhere you go even in crowded places and having his company ever since childhood.

“hee!” you called and waved at him, he waved at you back with a smile on his face.

“i swear if i didn’t know both of you were childhood friends i would’ve think you’re a married couple or something” chaewon rolled her eyes and you scoffed.

heeseung continued his way to his usual table with his friends.

“thinking about ways to confess your love to her?” jake smirked and heeseung shook away his thoughts.

“hm? who?” he asked.

“it’s obvious who! don’t play dumb come on!” sunghoon playfully pushed the older one.

“we’re talking about Y/N! everyone in uni are talking about you, even those who know nothing about the two of you” jay remarked.

“there’s nothing between us, we’re just friends” heeseung shrugged.

“and i’m queen elizabeth” sunoo tsked.

heeseung rolled his eyes and began to eat, “you know, even if i did have a crush on her, why would she even accept my confession?”

“ohhhh~” his friends teased.

“it’s kind of obvious she likes you, we’ve watched her ever since we became friends with you, and the way she looks at you is just different” jungwon shrugged and ni-ki nodded.

“she’s always searching you in a crowded room, as if you’re her guardian angel and she only needs you in her life in order for it to be perfect” ni-ki then stole a few bites of heeseung’s meal.

“hey! not cool” heeseung scoffed and ni-ki giggled.

“it’s not bad to have a crush on your childhood friend, you know?” jake smiled, “sometimes all you need is a miracle” jay added.

“hey, let’s go on a work search for yo-“

“no no no yunjin not you too!!” you sobbed, “i have no time to work and i need to search for the cheapest dorm, a one i can actually afford as soon as possible”

“why don’t you just go and ask heeseung for help” chaewon shrugged.

“it’s not that easy, i don’t want him to worry about it too much, he works hard for his money too” you pout and they nodded.

“by the way! how’s the money for the uni dorms is going?” jake asked heeseung who was busy fighting with ni-ki over his food.

“i’m just a few shifts away from getting enough money, i’ll ask y/n to become my roommate as soon as— what?” he noticed his friends looking at him.

“y/n and you? being roommates?” sunoo teased.

“hey, me and y/n spent all our childhood together, my house is her house and her house is mine, it has been like that for a while” heeseung sighed and they all nodded hesitatly.

“still, you said y/n’s parents told you about her not being able to pay for the uni dorms, are you really willing to pay it all?” jungwon asked.

heeseung shrugged and took a bite from his food again, “it’s either that or she’ll get kicked out by her parents”

“you really are her guardian angel” ni-ki whispered.

“good morning! you have afternoon classes today right?” your mother woke you up with a smile smeared all over her face.

“mhhm” you hummed, still trying to adjust the bright sunlight that hit your face.

“i need you to bring some medicine for ms lee! she’s been sick and i bought her some things” your mother helped you to get up and shoved you a bag, “here”

“can you please just let me get—“

“you can get ready at theirs! quickly quickly go!” she pushed you outside of your house. damn, she really does hope you’d get out as soon as possible.

she was right though, heeseung’s house is your house, and your house is his. you have a few clothes and even a toothbrush at his house and he has the same at yours, getting ready there was never a problem to you.

a walk to their house is even less than 5 minutes so you weren’t worried about someone from your neighborhood getting a jumpscare and thinking you’re some kind of a zombie.

you took out the keys and opened the door, heeseung was sitting in the kitchen and eating his breakfast.

“don’t ask, been a rough morning, where’s mom by the way?” you asked him and he pointed at her room. you got used to call his mom your mom too.

you saw her sleeping so you left the bag and the medicine next to her, leaving a note saying good morning and instructions of how to take the medicine, as if she doesn’t know all of that.

“you have afternoon classes too?” you asked heeseung while getting ready. he was in his room, lying on his bed while playing some games on his phone.

“not really, i don’t have any class today” he chuckled.

“since when don’t you have any classes today?”

“ever since i decided that im too tired to go to uni”

you rolled your eyes and threw one of the pillows at him, “don’t be stupid! get up and get ready to go!”

he giggled and shook his head, “i’m joking, i took evening classes for today”

you pressed your lips together and nodded, you don’t know why but hearing him giggling always made your heart skip a beat, but you don’t have any feelings for him, like, at all. right?

afternoon classes started and before you knew it, it was already lunch time.

“y/n! you won’t believe it!!” chaewon shout.

“what is it?” you shout at her back even though you were sitting right in front of her.

“i found you a solution! you can get a free dorm!” she shout back.

“what!” you shout.

“can you stop shouting! for god’s sake you’re literally a 1 cm away from each other” yunjin, who was covering her ears yelled.

you and chaewon shared an eye contact and froze. yunjin is so scary when she’s angry.

“continue please” she coughed and let chaewon continue what she had to say.

“it might seem crazy what i’m about to say,” chaewon sighed, “the uni is giving away free dorms—“

“no way omg omg omg please tell me i’m dreaming this is not happening right now right this is not real righ—“

“under one condition!” she cut you off and took her phone out of her pocket to read the terms.

“in order to get a free dorm, you have to have at least one option applied ;

one, you’re younger than 18. two, you’ve been scoring A+ on ALL of your exams and three, you’re between the ages 18-25 and got married, or engaged” she finished reading and turned off her phone.

“but chaewon, i’m not younger than eighteen” you complained and rest your head on your arm who was lying on the table.

“nor scoring A+ on ALL of your exams” yunjin added.

“thanks yunjin, i needed that”

“always here to help”

“then you know what’s left” chaewon smirked and you sat up, looking at her with innocent eyes.

“no” you let out.

“oh yes”

“i have no one to marry to” you argued.

“yes you do!” yunjin replied.

“i do not!”

chaewon and yunjin raised a brow and crossed their arms, “you don’t?”

as heeseung entered the uni entrance, you ran towards his direction and stopped in front of him.

“y/n why are you still here—“

“let’s get married” you said it out loud in front of everyone who was around.

your surroundings suddenly became quiet and everyone was staring at you two, starting to whisper and waiting for heeseung’s answer.

instead of answering he grabbed your wrist and dragged you out of the entrance into a place in the garden next to the uni.

the walk there was making you so nervous and anxious, what if you were a bit too much? asking your childhood friend to marry you just to get a free dorm? are you that desperate?

when he finally stopped, he let go of your wrist and cupped your cheeks, looking straight into your eyes.

“what did you say?” he asked, his eyes looking for any sign or answer from you.

“i said, let’s get married”

heeseung could’ve swore his heart skipped a beat because he for real felt like he died at that spot.

“let me explain!” you said before he could respond.

“the uni are giving out free dorms to anyone who’s between the ages of 18-25 and is married or engaged” you sighed.

heeseung let go of his hold and sighed, looking down and closing his eyes.

you really didn’t mean that genuinely, did you? something in him really hoped you did.

“hee?” you asked, biting your lower lips, suddenly feeling more anxious than before

“sure, let’s get married” he chuckled.

you broke your second main wish on your list.

heeseung was just a few shifts away from getting enough money to get the both of you a place to live in, he could have told you that too, but he chose not to.

only crazy people would agree to this idea, you were so desperate that you actually just asked him to marry you, and he guessed he was one of those crazy people, because he had no idea why he said yes.

he had other way, without marrying you, but something about the idea of marrying you made him feel excited.

“i knew it i knew it! only crazy people would agr— wait what” you blinked a few times after you realized his answer.

“i said sure, let’s get married” he smiled softly and you were about to faint.

“no feelings are involved….right?” you hesitantly asked him, hoping he wouldn’t agree with you.

instead, he nodded slowly and hesitantly, “no feelings involved”

you regretted that sentence so bad because the day after, when he kneeled on one knee and held a ring out for you in front of everyone and proposed to you, your couldn’t lie to yourself anymore, you actually broke your third wish on your list a few years ago, you were in love with lee heeseung for years.

“y/l/n y/n, i have loved you ever since i can remember, i watched you grow up and grew up with you as well, i got used to being with you 24/7, i can’t see the rest of my life without you in it, will you make me the happiest man alive and agree to marry me?”

even though it was an act(according to you), it felt so real to the point where you cried and sobbed so badly, while putting on the ring he bought for you less than 24 hours ago.

it wasnt planned. the proposal wasn’t planned at all.

the plan was that you and heeseung will go to the uni secretariat and request an application for the free dorm since both of you are engaged now.

heeseung had no reason to put on this whole show and show everyone that you’re now engaged. you have no idea why he did it, and instead of getting angry at him, you fell in love with him even more.

it felt wrong, it felt not right.

but you didn’t care, you always knew your feelings for heeseung were somewhere deep inside your heart. you tried to push them away all the time, because there was no way your childhood friend, the popular boy in your highschool, the kid who grew up with you, had feelings for you.

you tried to deny your feelings but now you realized thrre was no use anymore, so you let yourself love him as much as you can.

it wasn’t the desperation that lead you to ask him to marry you, because then you’d ask literally any other guy, it was your pure love to him, to the guy who was always there for you when you needed him.

“heeseung! explain what was that!” his six other friends gathered in a circle, surrounding him and not letting him go.

“what was wha—“

“you and y/n? married?” jungwon shout.

“have you gone crazy?” jake added.

“and she said yes! something is not right” jay joined.

“yesterday you told us you have no feelings for her!” sunoo remarked.

“you didn’t even believe us when we told you she’s obviously in love with you” sunghoon tsked.

“something isn’t sitting right to me” ni-ki gasped.

“explain now!” they all said at the same time.

“calm down!” heeseung coughed, “i’ll explain to you everything later”

by later he meant after classes, at his house, together with you and your friends yunjin and chaewon.

“yunjin, chaewon” heeseung nodded at your friends.

“lee heeseung” they glared at him.

“come on! both of you knew about it even before” you pleaded.

“doesn’t change the fact that he’ll be stealing you from us now” they rolled their eyes.

“i’m still so confused” ni-ki tried to quicken everyone and get to the point.

“me and y/n are getting married—“

“yeah no shit sherlock” sunghoon cute him off and heeseung glared at him.

“anyway, y/n would you like the explain why?” he turned to you and smiled.

“the uni is giving away free dorms to married couples between 18-25 so—“

“you decided to get married to get a free dorm” jay finished your sentence.

“have you gone mad? heeseung worked his ass to get enough money to get the dorms for the bo— mhhhhmmm!!!” sunoo roamed but jake covered his mouth before he could continue.

“sunoo!!” jake coughed and turned to you with a smile, “don’t mind him he’s been stressed from work and uni lately”

the rest of you giggled awkwardly and tried to ease the atmosphere.

after you yunjin and chaewon left, the boys stayed with heeseung, looking at him with concern.

“what?” heeseung looked at them back with his bambi eyes.

“i don’t know hee, it feels like….she’s kind of using you” sunghoon spoke, jay slapped his arm and he whined.

“he’s right though, marrying you only to get a dorm is quite crazy” jungwon nodded.

“he’s even crazier for actually agreeing to all of this” ni-ki said and jake shushed him.

“ni-ki is right, i am crazy, i have no idea why i said yes but she wasn’t forcing anything on me” heeseung shrugged, “besides, i’ve liked her for so many years so—“

“ah ha!! we knew it!” they all said at the same time and heeseung sighed. what have he got himself into?

after everyone left, heeseung texted you, asking you to meet him in your usual spot.

you got ready and for the first time, you took a while to do so.

you stared at yourself in the mirror a few times and even checked different outfits. this has never happened to you ever before, especially not when you knew that you’re going to see heeseung.

heeseung saw you at your worst, why are you dressing up for him now then?

“i must be crazy, crazy crazy!” you shook away your thoughts and got out to meet your soon-to-be-husband.

“hee!” you saw his back facing you and as soon as he turned around you froze.

did he dress up for you too? why does he look so breathtaking suddenly? his bambi eyes match the rest of his beautiful features on his face so much, you’ve seen this man grow up, you know every detail about his face and you couldn’t explain why it was so sudden that you got caught by surprise because of his beauties.

shaking away your thoughts, you walked closer to him and smiled.

“hey hubby” you grinned.

“hubby?” he asked.

“a new nickname for my soon-to-be-husband” you chuckled and he nodded.

“i actually thought about something,” he turned to you, “our parents will figure it out sooner or later, should we tell them the truth or—“

“no, let them believe we’re getting married without any reason other than being in love”

you have no idea why you just said that. but you hid your face as soon as you realized what just came out of your mouth.

heeseung felt too flattered and suddenly didn’t know what to say. you keep on making him speechless.

“ahem,” he cleared his throat, “you do know that they’ll probably rush out things and even take the wedding plan to their own hands“

i don’t care, i’d like to marry you and spend the rest of my life with you as soon as i can. is what you wanted to say, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do so.

“y/n?” he asked. he noticed you were too deep in thoughts and waited for you to come back to sense.

“i’m aware” you nodded, “i’ve also got a text from the uni, we’ll be getting our dorm in the next week, so we should start preparing”

heeseung nodded and looked at you. you were suddenly feeling so nervous and shy to share an eye contact with him, so you broke it as he just kept staring at you and taking in your beauty.

“hey y/n” he said, “hm?”

“i don’t mind marrying you and spending the rest of my life being married to you”

you looked over him and he had the genuinest smile you’ve ever seen.

it felt like the world had froze, and the snow that was falling suddenly stopped, it felt like it was just the two of you in this whole world.

“YOU’RE GETTING WHAT?” your mother yelled.

you and heeseung planned a dinner with both of your parents, to announce the big news.

things became quite awkward between the two of you, ever since your last encounter with him you could barely face him.

his sudden confession freaked you out and the only thing that came out of your mouth was “oh, okay” in the most dry way ever.

you wanted to tell him you feel the same, you wanted to tell him that you’ve been in love with him ever since forever. but one moment that caught you off guard ruined your chance.

you were stupid, stupid and idiot. heeseung probably thinks you hate his guts now.

heeseung in the meantime felt like he was breaking apart slowly. oh, okay?? that’s all you had to answer?

he felt dumb, he felt hopeless. the confession was completely out of the blue and unplanned, your beauty hypnotized him and he was so mesmerized by you that the words just came out of his mouth naturally.

what if you hate his guts now? what if he made you uncomfortable? what if you’ll regret it the last minute because you weren’t feeling the same about him?

all of those questions were eating him alive, and you didn’t help either. each time he came up to you, you were suddenly in rush and told him you have to go, it was breaking him inside slowly.

the dinner was one chance to finally talk with you again.

“married, mom. we’re getting married” you repeat what you already said a few seconds ago.

“when? where? how?” heeseung’s mother asked.

heeseung looked at you and smiled warmly, “it just happened, we’ve been together ever since childhood, it already felt like being in a relationship for so long, so we decided to marry each other” he chuckled and held your hand tightly, “to belong to each other until the day we die”

your parents looked at the both of you. you were sharing eye contact for so long, with heeseung smiling at you, looking deep into your eyes, and with you looking at him with nothing but pure love in your eyes that was making everyone in the room feel so jealous of you two.

“now kiss!” your mother said.

you and heeseung broke the eye contact and blinked a few times.

“what?” you asked.

“kiss then! i want to picture it and keep it in my photo gallery forever!” his mother added.

you were about to speak up until heeseung held your cheek to turn you to face him and it was only a matter of seconds until you felt his lips on yours.

it was your first kiss ever, your first time kissing someone, and it was his as well, but he lead you on so good that it made it look less awkward.

you were his first kiss. you, his childhood friend, stole his first kiss.

“we knew that it’ll happen one day!!” your mothers cheered, “we even have a whole wedding plan ready!!”

you and heeseung broke the kiss and shared an eye contact again.

you didn’t need to hear him say to know how much love he holds for you, and how he cherishes you so much.

and your eyes told him everything, they held the answers to all of the questions that bothered him. you love him as much as he loves you.

“i can’t believe you’re getting married, my little angels” your parents cried altogether which made heeseung let go of his hold on you and grab some tissues to wipe their tears.

“i love that ring by the way! heeseung you did a great job” your mother gave him thumbs up and he chuckled.

if only she knew that it was a ring he bought you in less than 24 hours and even rushed your friends to come with him and help him pick it only because he wanted his whole life to properly propose you.

it was a moving day already and your parents helped you pack every last thing, they even cried through the way, how could their princess leave them so fast?

“you can visit our house anytime!” you tried to comfort them.

“we’ll update you before that, we don’t want to catch you while doing the thing you know” your mother winked and you rolled your eyes, “mom!”

“i see you’re all packed and ready” heeseung came in to check on you.

“she is! take her away already!” your mother complained.

“not before you take this with you!” she went away for a few seconds and came back with a huge wrapped photo frame.

“don’t open it yet!! only when you get into your new house and get everything in place!!” she excitedly hugged the both of you and you nodded.

moving in was quite rough, you had a lot of boxes to unpack and organized, and you and heeseung never felt more awkward after the first kiss you shared.

you’ve barely spoke with each other and your friends were starting to get concerned.

“he told me he doesn’t mind marrying me and spending the rest of his life with me” you pout.

yunjin and chaewon shout and giggled, “girl! he’s more than in love with you!! he’s lovesick!!” they both said.

“what did you answer then?” yunjin asked.

“i told him okay” you smacked your head on the table.

“no way” chaewon gasped.

“yes way” you whined.

“you’re stupid!!” they both smacked you.

“then!!” you shout, “we had our first kiss on dinner in front of our parents” you whispered that part.

“what did you say? couldn’t hear you” chaewon said.

“oh she said that they shared their first kiss on dinner with their— YOU HAD YOUR FIRST KISS WITH HEESEUNG??” yunjin’s eyes widened.

“what happened after that?” chaewon asked curiously.

“we just finished dinner, and now we barely even talk” you sighed, “each time i see him i’m just blushing and running away, i can’t face him!”

“you have to!! you’re moving in soon!!” yunjin argued and chaewon nodded.

“it’ll be the death of me” you sobbed and they chuckled.

you were right at first, but slowly and surely heeseung made a joke and both of you got back to normal in no time, as if nothing happened between you two.

you even helped him organizing his closet and his room, and he did the same.

after a long day you and heeseung finally laid down on your now shared sofa.

“it’s been a rough day” you sighed.

“should we order something?” he suggested and you nodded immediately. you ended up ordering your favorite food.

“let’s open up the picture!!” you said and grabbed the picture your mom gave you earlier today.

you and heeseung both unwrapped it together and revealed an old picture of you and heeseung hugging each other with a huge smile on your faces.

“look at us then and look at us now” he giggled.

both of you hanged the picture right above your sofa and kept staring at it for a while.

“hey hee,” you spoke, “yeah?”

“i wouldn’t mind marrying you and spending the rest of my days with you too” you turned to him, “until the day i die”

“is that your way of telling me you love me too?” heeseung froze for a second. you caught him off guard for the countless time already.

although he understood very clearly your feelings after you shared your first kiss, hearing your words made his heart beat fast.

it was a confirmation for him that all of his feelings for you were actually mutual all this time.

instead of answering his questions you grabbed his shirt and kissed him.

he put his hands around your waist and pushed you closer to him, holding you tightly as if he’s too scared to let you go.

breaking off the kiss was hard, but the lack of oxygen was kicking in, you pressed your foreheads together, still with your eyes closed.

“does that answer your question?” you giggled and you felt him smiling.

“i don’t think so, i need a bit more of it to feel certain” he teased and you tsked.

“i don’t need to be in a relationship with you to feel certain about my feelings and my willingness to marry you, i want to spend my life with you, i love you” you said and pecked his lips.

“i love you too, y/n” he pecked your lips again and it suddenly got into a fight between you two about who pecks the other more, until it ended up in a long, deep kiss.

“so let me get this straight. you and heeseung had been in denial for many many years and manipulated yourself into thinking that you don’t like each other at all at all, then when y/n’s desperate and broke ass heard of a chance to get a free dorm by getting married, she went up to you, heeseung, and asked her to marry you, you agreed to the proposal because at one point you stopped lying to yourself and realized you’re actually lovesick, and the rest is history” ni-ki finally breathed out after almost rapping this whole story.

“by history i mean y/n waking up from her denial and realizing her feelings to you” he added.

“yes, exactly” heeseung nodded and you chuckled.

you were sitting together with your friends on one table, yunjin and chaewon who were already aware of the story added a few notes here and there as ni-ki summarized your whole story.

“this is a story to tell your children” jay smiled and the rest nodded.

“we’re not planning to get pregnant anytime soon, we didn’t even have a wedding yet” you sighed.

“you never know y/n, you never know!” sunoo slowly nodded.

“why did you say that as if you went through something familiar” jungwon teased.

“you never know y/n, you never know!” sunghoon mocked sunoo.

“that was a good one!” jake laughed with him.

“children, literal children who found themselves in uni somehow” you sighed.

“at this point we won’t even need to have any children when we have them” heeseung agreed with you.

“it doesn’t matter, as long as i’m with you” you smiled and pecked his lips.

“get a room you two will you!”

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#enhypen imagines #enhypen drabbles #enhypen #enhypen reactions #enhypen scenarios #enhypen fluff #heeseung imagines #heeseung x reader #heeseung scenarios #heeseung fluff #enhypen heeseung #heeseung angst #lee heeseung x reader

[neo-percs]

DREAM GIRL:: ( mark lee )

WARNING:: shy!mark, dry humping, Dom-mark, unprotected sex, cream pie, spanking, dirty talk.

SUMMARY:: Mark finally asks out the girl he’s been pining after for so long, nothing could top that in his book, except when he goes all the way the very same night he takes you out.

Mark had finally done it, he had asked the girl he had been crushing on for so long on a date. The pining behind his actions had grown so needy that even his friends were beginning to get frustrated. He could hear the sighs of Jaemin and Haechan every time you sat close to them during lunch as they watched their friend make prolonged stares at you who had not a single clue.

Mark thought you were practically untouchable, too pretty to get his hands on, so mesmerizing it was hard to gather words. Haechan had gotten so sick of it to the point he dragged Mark across campus and settled his feet in front of you, setting him up ultimately for what Mark thought would be failure. Your pretty eyes shining as you meet his gaze “Hey” it was casual but the upbeat tone was enough to make Mark’s heart almost beat out of his chest for no reason.

“Mark wants to ask you something” Haechan says and almost immediately Mark wants to deny the accusations but with the wide eyed look on your face as you curiously look at him awaiting his question. He could barely trust his voice yet he clears his throat and shakily asks “are you free this weekend?” And it makes you smile “yeah I am. Why?” You ask and Mark feels like you were torturing him with the hopeful look behind your gaze.

“I was wondering if you would go…on a date with me? You can say no and I promise I won’t be upset or anything like that” he says and he cringes at the eagerness to save himself from the awkwardness “sure, is 8 okay?” You ask with a smile, the heat on your skin prickles at the thought of attending a date with the cute onyx haired boy who stood tall with nice posture, well kept and his features were to die for. It was almost as unbelievable to you he had even asked you out.

“That’s- perfect actually. I’ll see you Friday?” He says almost eager to hear you confirm when you hum and slightly nod with a dazed smile on your lips. Mark turns on his heel feeling as if he had just conquered the world, then a sudden pant or realization hits. Turning back around to see your still watching him he awkwardly laughs “I forgot to ask for your number””

God you had never met someone so unaware of how cute they were. Mark Lee was so unaware that his awkwardness, his habit of stuttering, and the slurring of his words mixed with his Canadian accent made you fold in seconds. He was sex on legs and he couldn’t even look you in your eyes longer than five seconds. You could just eat him up.

Come Friday you and Mark get into his car and drive around the city. Stopping at the Movie theater you both agree to watch a scary movie. The jump scares make you gently clutch onto Mark’s hand and he can only smile as he rubs his thumb gently against your knuckles for comfort.

Maybe it was the fact that when the movie was over Mark had taken you to eat dinner at a nice restaurant, he recommended you try one of his favorite dishes. Maybe it was the fact that when you didn’t like it Mark insisted that you share his food and that he would take your food home to eat himself. Or maybe it was even the part where he took you home and walked you to your doorstep hand in hand not insisting on even kissing you.

Mark was gentle and kind the whole night, never straying from his good boy ways, and it made you want to fuck him so badly. In other people's eyes your standards might be out of whack for wanting to go past first base on your first date with Mark Lee, but you can’t help that with just one date you wanted to rock his socks off.

So you invite him in. You take him to your room and you turn on a movie that you barely paid attention to as you pressed yourself close to his side and stared at his side profile. Mark could feel himself sweating under your gaze, so he looks at you with glazed over eyes. “Is there something on my face?” He asks gently and that breaks you.

You suck in a small breath through your nose as your lips move in a rhythm. Your hands find their way to the nape of his neck letting your fingers entangle in his brown and blonde locks. His hand touches your thigh giving it a small squeeze, his tongue licks a small stripe against your bottom lip making your part your lips, you brush your tongue against his shyly feeling his warm wet muscle against yours.

Letting out a small groan, Mark's hand makes way to the belt loop of your jeans, hooking two fingers inside and pulling your hips closer against his. Your chest pressed against his sent him into a small daze.His tongue now licking a stripe on your bottom lip begging for access, parting your lips, his tongue immediately brushing against yours, mixing your saliva. As you suck on his tongue the remnants of mint on his tongue.

You could see the tent in his jeans starting to grow, your thighs push together at the thought of Mark having such an intimate view of you that he has at his own dispense. But you aren't as slick as you hoped to be. Mark caught the way your thighs pushed together making the small boyish grin on his lips turn into a smirk.

Seeing how your pupils were blown out and your hands gripping his shirt he couldn't help but ask "you wanna keep going?" In a raspy voice, you could jump on the boy at any moment seeing as his hair was now messy, his lips now swollen with your lipgloss smeared on them, and his labored breathing making his chest rise and fall more noticeably.

You nod your head looking him in his coffee brown eyes with adoration and lust "I want you to fuck me" you say loud enough for him but just above a whisper in the silent room.

Your words make him twitch in his boxers. Letting out a groan his head falls back "you're gonna fucking kill me" he said as his cock aches within the confinements of his tight boxers and pants.

The way you looked at him was like you were begging for him to just fuck you dumb on his cock. So when he gripped your chin pushing your head back, you could feel his lips on your neck, aimlessly sucking hickeys on your neck leaving purple and red splotches on your supple skin.

Your hands find the button on his jeans and begin to fiddle with it until it comes undone, then working to unzip them you're given the view of his black and white boxers peeking through. Your hand slipping under the elastic band of his boxers, your fingers brush against his cock, twitching under the feeling of your hand wrapping around his shaft lazily jerking him off.

Groaning into your neck he pulls eager to feel skin on skin contact his hands grip at the hem of your shirt pulling it up over your head, your hair now messy and sticking up Mark wouldn't want to see you in any other way right now.

Your breast swelling and ready to spill out of your bra with the cute little bow on it, Mark thought of you as his own little present, as his fingers worked on unclipping your bra and dropping it onto the floor along with your shirt.

His hands needily grope your breast in his palms you let out small moans at the feeling of his palms making rough friction with your nipples. as your hand pulls his jeans down his hips to his ankles, he absentmindedly kicks them off as both of your clothes slowly begin to pile, you pull off his shirt as well dropping it onto the floor evening out how much clothes the both of you have on.

Mark was eager to have you closer to him, he trails his hands to the back of your thighs to hoist you into his lap. Your ass pressed against his hard on the only thing keeping you apart we're your underwear while your skirt was bunched at your hips.Sliding back farther against the bed he moves closer to the headboard his back pressed against the soft pillow.

You could feel as if your pussy practically stuck to the wet fabric of your panties while you grind your hips against him.

The small wet watch of precum becomes larger as your panties make friction soaking his underwear as well. The outline of his cock rubbing against your clit makes your head spin and you couldn't help but moan and grind harder against him.

"You feel so good" you whimper hearing the sticky sounds of your slick thighs rubbing together, it was messy yet the both of you were too eager chasing some form of an orgasm to care what kind of mess you make.

you look down at Mark whose head was thrown back while he lets out the deepest groans of pleasure. His hands guiding your hips against his at a faster pace makes you choke out louder moans.

"Fuck" he whispered harshly as your eyes finally find a dazed Mark who was on cloud 9. The feeling of fabric running against his sensitive tip has him breathing shakily.

You turn your head to look at Mark, you see how lost he was in pleasure, "you looked too good" you whisper, placing one of your hands down on his lower abdomen as you feel Mark buck his hips into you faster.

The feeling of the fabric running against your pussy slightly burned but it felt too good to care. "Feels so good" he grumbled as the pressure began to build. The both of you chasing your orgasms push your panties to the side rubbing your bare pussy against the fabric of his boxers at a fast pace that makes you whine.

You gasp feeling yourself being sent over the edge, Mark slows down but you only shake your head as you anticipate him reaching his peak. "Please keep going, I want you to cum" you moan as your nails drag against his skin leaving behind a trail of red marks.

Your needy words make his eyes roll back as he pushes your hips down, he ruts into you as he moans shamelessly. He had no idea if it was the thought of his dream girl absolutely getting off because of him or if your pussy had fucking magic but your sweet moans and the sloppy sounds send him into a spiral of pleasure.

His cum seeps through his boxers as his hips twitch in a bit of overstimulation he didn't care, his hips slow down and then stop completely as he feels himself slowly coming back down to earth.

He lets out a large huff as a shy smile finds its way on his face, he can't believe he just came in his boxers after literally letting you dry hump him like a needy puppy. His hands grip at the flesh of your ass he lets out a small chuckle with a smirk on his lips.

"You're driving me crazy- fuck" he groaned as he continues to catch his breath. You giggle at him still feeling your mind trying to process. "Lay down on your stomach for me" he says without much thought behind his words he just needed to feel you around him, and the way you just cum inside his boxers flipped a switch inside him.

You pull your leg from over top of him, you lean on your forearms as your back arches your skirt flowing over your hips, your chest pressed against a pillow you look over at Mark who had shifted as he moves onto his knees as they press into the mattress leaning in closer to get a good look of your ass.

"Spread your legs" he says as positions himself behind you pulling the elastic band over his hips he finally lets his cock breath from his boxers as he discards them he lets out a sigh in relief his free hand wrapping around his base he slowly jerks himself off as beads of precum drips from his tip glistening under the dim light, you spread your legs giving him space to fill between them.

"You look so good like this" He says as he presses his tip against your slit teasingly sliding against it as it makes a slick sound as your essence covers his tip and shaft, dipping his tip into your entrance Mark sucks in a deep breath as he pushes into you groaning at the feeling of your tight walls enveloping his tip.

Pushing deeper inside you he lets out a moan "fuck you feel so good" he says as he catches his bottom lip in between his teeth. "You're so big" you gasp, feeling how good he filled you up to the brim as you feel him begin to slowly move. Mark couldn't get enough of the sight as his cock disappeared inside your pussy.

His cock buried deep inside you that you moan and your nails into the pillow your chest was pressed against setting a pace for bouncing against him. The feeling of your velvety walls tightening around making him choke back a moan.

"Oh- god" you whisper shakily. His hands holding onto your hips guiding a pace, the soft sound of skin slapping with your small moans could be heard throughout the room.

A small sheen of sweat on your skin and your makeup smeared while your ass bounced on his cock it was addicting. "You like being fucked like this?" He asks as he bucks his hips into your sharply.

Moaning at his dirty words and sudden surge of confidence your head falls into the pillow muffling your sweet voice Mark's palm sharply smacks your ass "Answer me" he says groaning as he soothes the stinging feelings on your warm skin.

"Mhm, I want people to hear how good you fuck me" you say lifting your head from the pillow as you bite your bottom lip hard hearing how the bed creaked with each thrust he gave you.

Mark; eager to let his load off inside you, holds your hips stopping you from bouncing any longer and begins to thrust his hips into you harder. The feeling of his tip pushing at your cervix.

His hips piston into you as your thighs and ass jiggle at the repetitive thrusts "right there" You moan as you feel him pounding in a certain part of your walls. You tighten around him as your essence forms a white ring around the base of his dick.

"Just like that, I just want you to cum inside me" you babble mindlessly as his stomach churns at the words spewing out. "Yeah? Want me to fill you up with my cum?" he groans as the knot in your stomach begins to tighten and his death grip on the fat of your ass almost sending you over the edge if it wasn't for how hard he was pounding you.

You nod eagerly as you begin to alternate between grinding and bouncing, your nails drag against his inner thigh leaving behind a red and irritated trail- yet he didn't mind it as it pushed him closer to his orgasm.

Leaning down to him your moans against each other's lips push you closer and closer. Your back arching even more as you move faster wanting to cum so badly "keep going. Don't stop" he groaned, letting his head fall back.

His hair messily pushed against his forehead as it was covered in sweat and his eyes rolled back "god I'm gonna cum" he says breathily as you grind back against him to meet his thrusts as the sticky sound of him pounding your sloppy pussy resides in the air of your apartment.

The room was warm and all you could care about was how good your roommate was fucking you. "You like having an audience to be fucked like a slut in front of huh?" He says as he grips onto your hips harder to stop your movement as he pounds into a spongy part of your walls.

His hair sticking to his forehead and his breath becoming heavier "I loved being fucked like a slut" you rasp as you hear his chuckle at your words desperate to feel release "good" he says as he fucks into you harder. "Tell me how much of a slut you are" he groans as his nails dig into your hips, "I'm such a fucking slut for you, god I'm your cockslut" you whine as his thrusts are deeper and sharp it has your eyes rolling to the back of your head.

Pulling your back to his chest hitting an angle inside you that made you see white as your ass bounced into his lap your hands desperately thrash to grip the sheets on his bed. "Oh fuck yes- just like that! You're gonna make me cum" he moaned deeply into the nape of your neck.

Letting out a string of whines you clench harder "Oh god I'm so close" he moaned as he began to twitch inside you, his words buzzing in your ears making you grind against him eagerly "please let me cum" you beg as you turn your head over your shoulder to look at Mark who was absolutely pussy drunk on the feeling of you.

"You gonna cum?" he asks as his hand falls between your thighs, his fingers press against your clit "You gonna fucking cum?" he asks rhetorically as his words slur, you nod as your breathing becomes uneven "do it" he says pushing you back down into the mattress roughly gripping your hips and you were sure it would leave bruises his eyes roll back as he feels how you clench around him and let your orgasm washes over you, with a few more hard thrusts he would also be tipping over the edge to his orgasm moaning as his thick white strings of cum fills you up leaving your body feeling warm and fuzzy.

Fucking you both through your highs your thighs clench shut as overstimulation creeps up on you your moans began to come out choked which makes Mark slow down his pace until his hips were no longer moving against yours.

Pulling out you both hiss, as his cum drips down your thigh Mark chuckles at the sight almost wanting to use his fingers to fuck his cum back inside you but deems you're too fucked out. He rolls off the other end of the bed walking off to the bathroom to grab a clean towel wet with warm water to clean you off. You fall into his mattress looking at the camera seeing how your face was most likely in it.

Your actions finally sink in. You hear the footsteps near you, Mark walks back into the bedroom he wipes you off rubbing small soothing circles into your thighs he crawls over to the other side of the bed and settles down underneath the sheets. Mark would be sure you were comfortable as well.

After he takes care of you can hear "I'm sorry if I was being too rough," he says softly as he looks at you with soft eyes “don't worry about it. I like that stuff anyways" you say with a chuckle you roll over onto your side you look at your roommate "it felt good. No need to be sorry" you say waving him off.

"I feel bad though" he groaned which earned a laugh from you "if you feel so bad then you would run me a warm bath" you chuckle milking his sympathy for you. He only rolls his eyes with faux irritation dragging out his words "fine, but be glad I'm such a nice person" he says rolling out of his bed once again grabbing his boxers and putting them on, trailing to the bathroom down the hall.

#𖦹—( neo percs ) #nct smut #haechan smut #mark smut #nct dream smut #jaemin smut #nct 127 smut #nct x reader #mark imagines #mark scenarios

[seokgyuu]

→ PAIRING: Seokmin x Afab!Reader. → GENRE: College!Au, kinda comedy, small bit of angst if you look hard enough, teeny tiny fluff, smut MDNI. → SYNOPSIS: After having a crush on Lee Seokmin for three years, he somehow ends up wanting to be your roommate. Instead of rejecting him, you decide to give him the vacant room - right after confessing your feelings for him.

→ WARNINGS: roommate!seok, wet dreams, coming untouched (f), degradation, usage of the words slut, baby, angel, masturbation (m), making out, like really so much kissing, fingering, finger-sucking, she loves his fingers lol, unprotected sex (don't.. just don't), creampie.

→  WORDCOUNT: 11.5k

A/N: hi guys!! here it is (for some of you even on the date it was scheduled to be posted!), my first ever stand-alone svt fic! no part 2, no whole ass series, just this cute 11.5k baby I wrote after being deep inside my seokmin shaped hole (i am always in a seokmin shaped hole actually). i want to thank my bestie @honeykyeom for making the amazing header as well for being my inspiration for writing this <3 ily!! now, i hope you enjoy and as always please reblog & comment, these things are what makes writing worth while <3

You had a crush. A big fat stupid crush. And it was starting to get extremely annoying. You really tried to stop liking him because a.) he didn’t even know you existed and b.) even if he did he would never ever like you back because what are the odds for that to actually happen?

“People get together all the time, Y/N, stop being dumb,” Seungkwan, your best friend, would say on the regular since the topic came up basically every other day. Yet, you still didn’t believe the Lee Seokmin would ever give you so much as a second glance. He was too perfect. Perfect grades, perfect friend group, perfect face, perfect everything. You had first laid eyes on him on your first day of classes - he had started the same year as you, smile on his face, shiny new MacBook propped in front of him. He wore an adorable baby blue sweater and black rimmed glasses, his hair falling into his forehead and, god, you were gone the second you heard his honey dripping voice. 

That had been three years ago and now, both of you in your senior years, you still hadn’t talked to him even once. Or well, no, you had, when he had asked you for a phone charger which you had given him in exactly three seconds. You were still proud of that. 

*

“Hey, I heard you’re looking for a roommate?” 

“Are you- are you talking to me?” Your index finger was pointing at yourself while you blinked a few times at the person in front of you. 

“Uh, I mean, you are Y/N, right?” Kim Mingyu seemed just as confused as you. Probably because you were in fact Y/N and you were, in fact, looking for a roommate, but how on earth did he know that?

“No, I mean, yes, yes I am, but, uh, how do you- how do you know I’m looking for a roommate?”

“Oh, Seungkwan told me!” 

“You know Seungkwan?!”

Mingyu seems a little startled by your sudden outburst. You cleared your throat before chuckling nervously.

“S-sorry, I just didn’t know Seungkwan and you knew each other.”

“We go to the same gym, actually, and I told him my friend is desperately looking for a place and he told me you are in search of a roommate so…,” his smile was bright and pretty and you felt like you were about to wake up from a dream because why the hell was Seokmin’s bestie talking to you as if he had done it thousand of times before?

“I see, uh, I mean, I am definitely desperate for a roommate, rent you know, like, uh, I need to pay it soon and… well, I am short half of it and that’s what I would… need the roommate for,” you scratched your ear. Smooth.

“No, I understand! And my friend is just as desperate. See, he just broke up with his long-term girlfriend, she cheated on him, and now he just really needs to move out.”

“Oh, damn, sorry about that. You can tell him he can come by, eh, does tomorrow work? Like afternoon-ish? I have classes until four.”

“Awesome! I’ll let him know, thank you Y/N!”

Mingyu beamed at you, his hand up in the air as he waved, walking away and out of the building. Letting out a sigh you hadn’t even known you were holding, you grabbed your phone from your bag and unlocked it, quickly moving your fingers over the display to call Seungkwan. Walking out the opposite direction Mingyu had, you waited for your best friend to pick up, pushing open the door into the hot air of the early evening. 

“What’s up?” Seungkwan finally picked up and you rolled your eyes at the greeting.

“Hello to you too, Kwannie,” you said in a sweet voice, hearing Seungkwan scoff as a response.

“I’m in the middle of something, Y/N. So, what’s up?” 

“Kim Mingyu just asked me if a friend of his can move in with me,” you raised your brows as you walked over the campus to the parking lot, the keys to your car already dangling from your fingers, “care to tell me why you didn’t mention that?”

“Ah, that, well, I actually met Mingyu at the gym earlier today, like super early morning, and heard him talk to his friend on the phone and well, since I do have a few classes with him, I thought I should offer.”

“You should offer? Pretty sure it’s still my apartment you were selling off to a stranger.”

“Now, now. Mingyu isn’t a stranger now, is he? How many times have you stalked his insta now to look at that one specific gym picture of Seokm-,”

“Whatever, just- just please, for the future, let me know when you tell someone about my living situation, alright?”

“Sure thing, bestie. Now, can I get back to what I was doing?”

“Of course. Tell Hansol I said hi.” Before he could either protest or deny, you hung up and shoved your phone into your pocket. 

*

You dreamt of him again. It was a rare occasion, but it happened. Most of the time the dreams were innocent enough, just him touching your face, him laughing at your jokes, him simply acknowledging your existence. 

But this one was different. 

Seokmin was right above you, his body hot and sweaty. His eyes said so much more than words ever could and yet you longed to hear his voice. Longed to hear him say your name. He was buried deep inside you, his hips still, eyes never leaving yours. He throbbed, his whole body seemingly vibrated at how much he wanted you, your legs wrapped around his waist, wanting nothing more than for him to take you, mark you, fill you. 

“Tell me what you want,” he whispered, his hand caressing your face and you moved your head, your mouth sucking in his thumb, feeling him twitch inside of you.

“You can’t really talk with that in your mouth, can you, Y/N?” Fuck, his voice was so low so deep and when he finally moved down to kiss your neck, stuffing his thumb even further down your mouth, his hips now beginning to thrust, all of you began to shake. 

Then, suddenly, you were in your living room, right there on that windowsill that connected the kitchen and the living room, his hips drilling into you. He was wearing a dress shirt and a black tie, but both of it was loosened around his neck, your hands on his broad shoulders as he seemed to have made it his goal to fuck you senseless. You were a moaning mess, his lips sucking harshly on your skin, you yourself being completely naked. His mouth was everywhere: your neck, your stiff nipple, your lips. He took all of you in and you breathed in every bit he gave you. 

“You’re so fucking good for me, baby, so good, such a good little slut, letting me fuck her like this.”

“Mhm, y-yes, I l-love the way you f-fuck me, Seok!” His grip on you got stronger, hands digging harshly into your hips as he threw his head back now, your eyes taking in all of his beauty. The droplets of sweat, the bopping Adam’s apple as he swallowed, the way his vein popped out right there on his neck…

“Gonna make me cum, baby,” he moaned and you nodded strongly, feeling your own climax so close.

“Please, want your cum so bad!” you whined and as if those had been the magic words, Seokmin emptied inside of you, the feeling of his cum hitting you so deep-

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

You screamed, while your back hit the floor. You had fallen out of bed, your alarm blasting on the other side of your bed. 

“Fuck,” you groaned, sitting up slowly, your hand rubbing the back of your head. Funnily enough, that wasn’t the only part of you that throbbed. Just for a completely different reason. 

-

“You came in your sleep?” Seungkwan was impressed with you. You just wanted to punch him because why did he have to say that this loud right in the line for lunch?

“Shut up!” you said through gritted teeth and Seungkwan snorted, before grabbing the big spoon for the Kimchi.

“Don’t worry, no one is listening.” Instead of arguing with him you rolled your eyes and grabbed some Japchae before heading to the drinks. 

“But to answer your question: yes, I did. And no, that has never happened before. Like, I never ever had a dream like that, Seungkwan, never!”

“Aw, I can’t believe my best friend lost her wet dream virginity at the ripe age of 24!” He grinned as the two of you sat down at an empty table. You ignored him.

“It was so real. I honestly feel sick to my stomach. How could it have been so real?” 

It was truly astonishing to you. Hours had passed and the dream was still there, playing in your head over and over again, making you squeeze your thighs together more than not in the worst moments. Statistic class wasn’t supposed to make you horny and yet, you couldn’t say it hadn’t.

“I’m jealous. I never had an actual wet dream make me cum before, like yeah, I woke up with cum in my underwear before, but then again that’s kind of normal I guess?”

“Dude! You don’t need wet dreams to make you orgasm, you have a literal boyfriend!”

“He is not my boyfriend!” Seungkwan protested and you grabbed your juice box to take a dramatic sip from it. 

“Well, sounds like a you problem. Doesn’t change the fact you’re getting laid, though.” Seungkwan scoffed, crossing his arms as he leaned back in his chair. He apparently didn’t have a comeback. Served him right.

“It’s not like you are trying to change that,” nevermind. You sigh, putting the drink down again.

“What am I supposed to do? Just hook up with a random guy and act like I’m not madly in love with someone who doesn’t know I exist?”

“He knows you exist, you god damn drama queen. You had every class together first semester!”

You ignored him. Instead, you decided that your Japchae is the most interesting thing you had ever seen. Seungkwan shook his head and clicked his tongue.

“You’re an idiot, Y/N. Like the biggest idiot I have ever met.”

“Takes one to know one,” you muttered as a response, feeling a piece of kimchi hitting your cheek the next second. 

*

You were home at four forty-five and hoped there would still be time to clean up the place at least a little bit before the potential-new-roommate-slash-friend-of-Kim-Mingyu showed up. In record time you found yourself standing in a semi-clean living room (meaning: maybe the floor showed some signs of needing to be vacuumed, but at least everything looked tidy) with all the windows open in hope for some cool air because you sure as hell weren’t going to turn on the AC without another person to cover the costs. 

Just as you finished changing into some clothes not sweated through, the doorbell rang. Quickly, you made your way to the door, buzzing them up, only to hear a knock on the door next. Oh, so he had been let in already. Putting on your most charming smile, you pulled the door open, only for the smile to fade the second you saw who stood there right in front of your door. 

“Y/N?” 

Lee Seokmin had just said your name. And he was standing in front of your apartment.

“Seokmin, what- what are you doing here?” You asked, oblivious to the situation. 

“I- uh, I- Mingyu said he told you I was coming?”

“Mingyu? No he said that-,” you lost your ability to speak just then. The friend Mingyu had been talking about-

“Wait, you- you’re the potential new roommate?!” Your voice was barely anything but a squeak. Seokmin looked a little lost, his fingers nervously fidgeting with the hem of his oversized yellow jumper.

“Yeah, did he not mention that?” 

Nope, seems like he forgot that part. You swallowed, pressing your lips together for a second while your brain tried to fully grasp the situation. This was Seokmin. Aka the guy you have been in love with for three years. And he wanted to move in with you. 

“Uh, no. Sorry, please come in!” You took a step back and Seokmin smiled at you (HE smiled at YOU!!!), walking into your apartment and looking around as you closed the door, hoping your racing heart would calm down. You wouldn’t exactly bet on it though. 

Seokmin took his shoes off and you watched him, already beginning to chew on your lip like you always did when you were nervous. He turned around and you quickly smiled, walking into the living space.

“So, this is the living room, it uh-,” you stopped speaking, your eyes now on the window connecting the kitchen and living room, on the windowsill you had just dreamt about last night. Your face suddenly got very hot. 

“It connects to the kitchen through that window, which I thought was really cool, big selling point,” you watched as Seokmin walked over to the kitchen, his eyes roaming through the room and when he stopped in front of the window, hand touching the sill you nearly felt yourself loose footing. Why the fuck did he have to do this? For a second you were convinced this was just another dream. 

“It definitely is unique,” he said, nodding and walking into the small but modern kitchen.

“Uhm, there is a dishwasher in the kitchen and a microwave. We don’t have an oven, but I am pretty sure I have like a small one in the attic. I am more of a take-out or quick meal kind of gal, so I don’t really use it much. But if you were interested in baking something, I could definitely get it down,” Jesus, why on earth were you talking so much? But Seokmin seemed to appreciate it, nodding understandingly as he looked around with a small pout on his lips. Maybe this wasn’t the right moment (or maybe it was the perfect moment) to stare at him, but you did. You watched his every move, how he checked out the cupboards, how he asked before he opened the fridge, how he pulled a hand through his hair as he asked a question. 

Oh! 

“Sorry?” You crossed your arms, the hotness of your cheeks only increasing. Seokmin chuckled.

“I asked if you had a certain system in your fridge with your old roommate.”

“Oh, well, not really. We kind of always planned what we were going to eat, she was a big cook actually. Enjoyed it a lot. I store my Ramen right here, wait,” you walked into the kitchen fully now too, to the cupboard next to where Seokmin was standing and got on your tiptoes to reach for the door, opening it in a swing.

“There,” you explained, looking over at Seokmin - only to see him look at you instead of the food. You blinked a few times. He blushed.

“Ah, yes, I see. Cool. So, uh, no system. That’s fine with me! I wouldn’t say I’m a cook per sé, but I can hook up some simple dishes,” he turned away, your whole body suddenly feeling a lot hotter than a second before. Nodding, you closed the cupboard again and walked back outside. Seokmin followed you.

You showed him the rest of the apartment (except for your room) and finally the two of you ended up in the living room again where you sat down on the couch. 

“I, uh, I would love to take the room, Y/N. But it’s obviously up to you.” His smile was so… you gulped down whatever response you had in your mind. Now wasn’t the time to eat right out of his hands, no, you had to think about this. On the one hand, you really needed a roommate. There was no chance you could hold this apartment by yourself and you really didn’t want to move. But on the other hand, this was Seokmin. You couldn’t just let him move in with you when you liked him this much, could you? At least not without him knowing. An idea popped into your head. It was risky and stupid and you would probably regret this. But then again - if he wanted to move in, and apparently he was just as desperate as you to get this room, it would only be fair to let him know what the situation was. 

“Look, Seokmin,” you started, your hands in your lap, your heart racing again (or still). You looked up at him, your cheeks still bright red. Seokmin watched you, unsure what to make of your current behavior. He decided to just let you talk.

“I really need a roommate. And you really need a place to live. Mingyu, uh, he told me about the break-up and I’m really sorry about that,” - you were also happy you hadn’t tried to make a move considering he had a girlfriend -, “but I would feel horrible to let you take this room without knowing the full truth.” 

Now, Seokmin got a little spooked. The full truth? Were you going to confess that you were a drug dealer? Part of some gang? But then you probably wouldn’t need a roommate considering you’d make good money. 

“I, uh, okay,” Seokmin swallowed hard. You took a deep breath.

“I like you. As in, I like you. I have for years now. I didn’t know you had a girlfriend, and to be honest, even if I had, I probably wouldn’t have succeeded in getting over this crush. I’m not telling you because I am expecting anything from you, I promise, hell, I never planned on telling you ever. But you want the room and I would be happy to give it to you, I would just feel weird having you live here with this big secret to keep.”

There were approximately three minutes of silence in which you were sure Seokmin would get up and leave. He stared at you, his mouth slightly dropped and you could have kicked yourself for finding him endearing. Starting to shift on your seat once the third minute started, Seokmin realized he had been staring instead of answering. But then again, he really had not expected this sudden confession. 

“I, uh, I am flattered, Y/N, really, I just, I- I just got out of a relationship and-,”

“I know that! As I said, I didn’t tell you because I want anything from you. I have been happy liking you from afar, Seokmin. And who knows, maybe having you close by all the time will actually make me stop liking you. I mean, what if you’re like a total slob or listen to super weird historical podcasts?” 

“What do you have against historical podcasts?” Seokmin asked, eyebrows raised in surprise. You chuckled.

“Nothing in particular. But my last roommate listened to them on like full blast. Just got annoying at some point.” 

He nodded now, understanding. Yeah, he could see why that would be annoying at some point. Still, that wasn’t the real issue here. Or, well, was it really an issue? He cleared his throat. 

“I- I don’t take you as someone who would let her feelings get the best of her. And, to be honest, I’m not really the type of guy you should have a crush on, Y/N. But, uh, I’m still very flattered. And I don’t think this would stop me from moving in, as you said, we are both desperate.”

You were surprised and it showed. Seokmin chuckled.

“Or do you not want me here?”

“No! I do, I really need you to move in,” you said, tugging a loose strand of hair behind your ear. Seokmin nodded again. 

“Then it’s settled. I’ll get my stuff asap and then we’ll be roomies.”

“Can’t wait!”

*

Seungkwan thought you were insane. He hadn’t known it was Seokmin when Mingyu had approached him and now he regretted ever offering it. 

“What do you mean you told him?!” He was sitting at your small dinner table in the living room. You shrugged. 

“What was I supposed to do? Just let him move in and carry this huge ass secret with me all the time? I don’t think so.”

“You could have just told him no, Y/N.”

“Right, and then what? I see him in class every other day? How awkward would that be?”

“You mean as awkward as living with a guy who knows you have a crush on him?!” When you shrugged again, Seungkwan groaned, pulling his hands over his face.

“You’re seriously insane, I can’t believe you did this!”

And about a week after Seokmin had officially moved in, you couldn’t believe it either. 

Living with Seokmin proved to do the exact opposite of what you had mentioned in your chat with him. He wasn’t a slob. And he also didn’t listen to any podcast on full volume. He cleaned, cooked, gave you space. Every morning he got up earlier than you and prepared coffee, before going out for a jog - only to come back while you were having breakfast, looking all sweaty and sexy. The first time this had happened you had choked on your toast, drinking what felt like one whole liter of orange juice before finally being able to stop coughing. Seokmin had hit your back a few times, apologizing for startling you. And yet, he didn’t stop doing it, which made you used to it after a while (it didn’t).  

Instead of falling out of love with him, you found yourself drawn to him even more, craving his presence. When he was gone, you missed him, and when he was home you wanted to hear everything about his day, wanted to eat dinner with him, watch a new episode of that show you had started together. 

*

Seokmin was outside in the living room, his laptop placed on his lap, an essay he needed to proof read opened as he sipped on a can of beer. He was on his favorite spot on the floor, right in front of the couch, leaning his back against it. Actually, he had wanted to go to sleep an hour ago, but then he had talked with his sister on the phone and now he was back to this. It had been two months since he had moved in with you despite knowing you had feelings for him. Back when you had originally told him, he had felt like he should probably run because the last thing he needed right now was complicated. Things with Hyorin had been complicated enough. But, as he now knew, you weren’t complicated in the slightest. More so the opposite. It didn’t take long for Seokmin to begin to understand you and your patterns. It also didn’t take long for him to figure out how much you actually liked him. If he had been anyone else he might have taken advantage of that. Flirt with you, get you into his bed. But he was Seokmin, he wasn’t a guy who would do that. Not that he hadn’t… thought about it. Seeing the way you looked at him, especially after his morning runs or when he came back from the gym in the evening… it took everything in him not to imagine you looking at him that way when he was fucking you. 

Seokmin wasn’t a sex-hungry person, normally. Maybe because he had been in a long-term relationship for five years. But now, with his relationship being over for two months and the periods before that being dry in the sex department… he was starting to miss it. Dearly. 

So, when he sat there on the floor, his head focusing on the contents of this essay he wrote a day earlier in the library, he couldn’t really help getting distracted by the sounds coming from your room. His ears perked up and his head turned sideways, throat already drying up. Were you crying? Maybe you were-

“O-oh.”

His laptop slipped from his lap when he got up. His heart speed rose and sweat was starting to form on his hairline. That certainly wasn’t the type of crying he had meant. Slowly, he walked over to the door of your room that he only now realized wasn’t properly shut. He felt bad, guilty even, when he peeked through the small opening, seeing you apparently asleep. A dream? He licked his lips. Were you dreaming? 

“S-Seokmin.” 

Something inside him switched over. His whole body started to heat up, his cock desperately beginning to twitch in his briefs. Fuck, he hadn’t ever expected that hearing you moan his name would do so much. You were dreaming, yes, about him. And he heard you, heard you moaning, the whimpers. And god, did you sound perfect. He leaned against the wall next to your room, letting his dick get harder with every second, waiting for your noises like an addict. He couldn’t stop, couldn’t get himself to move away and mind his own business. He was intoxicated by you. He took everything he could, every breath, as small as they might be. The sighs following the moan of his name. 

For now, he only listened. He didn’t want to touch himself here, didn’t want to be that type of person. But then again, he had already parked himself right outside your room, listening to you having a wet dream, it wasn’t like beginning to jerk off would make much of a difference. So, he slowly moved his hand, palming himself over his sweats, feeling how hard he was because of you. He closed his eyes, ears concentrating only on you. He wondered what you were dreaming about. What was he doing to you right now? Was he holding you down as he fucked you? Was he going down on you, tasting you? God, he really wanted to taste you. 

For a second he contemplated going in and waking you up - making your dream reality. But he couldn’t. Not knowing what he did. 

Opening his eyes, he suddenly felt guilt rushing over him and he was quick to close your door, making his way over to where he had sat earlier and grabbing his laptop. 

Once he was in his own room, door locked and all, he tried to clear his head of the sounds you had made, of the way it was him you were dreaming about. But with his cock this hard and you so close… it was no use. He put his laptop on his desk and laid down on his bed after, taking a deep breath. He couldn’t hear you from his room and, god, was he relieved. Not hearing you did not equal not remembering you, though. And so, knowing he was going to lose to his conscience anyways, he opened the drawer in his bedside table and got out the package of lube, squeezing a bit on his right hand, while the left shoved down his sweats and briefs, letting his erection hit the cool air of his room. 

He sighed in relief when his right hand began squeezing him, head leaned back into the pillows, hand now moving up and down slowly. You were right there in front of his inner eye, the way you sounded, but also the image of how you would look underneath him. Moaning his name, begging him to go faster. Then, he imagined your cheek stuffed with his cock, imagined your teary eyes when he began fucking down your throat. 

“F-fuck,” he couldn’t help but go faster, his hips lifting up his bed as he fucked his fist, wishing it was your pussy or your mouth, any of your holes would do. How badly he wanted to hear you beg, wanted you to be on your knees, mouth open and tongue out, ready to take whatever he was willing to give. Pouty lips and round eyes, wishing for nothing more than Seokmin’s cock filling you up. 

“God, just like that, Y/N, f-fuck,” he couldn’t help but moan as he came, his load landing on his clothed chest. 

Coming down from his high, Seokmin opened his eyes, blinking a few times before he really understood what had happened. Groaning, he let his left hand rub over his face, before he shook his head and sat up. He got rid of his shirt and threw it in the laundry bin, walking to the door unlocking and opening it to go to the bathroom - only to run into you who just came out of the bathroom. Your eyes grew wide when you spotted Seokmin - shirtless and sweaty and with this certain look in his eyes that made your legs grow weaker. 

Not knowing what he was doing, Seokmin walked straight over to you, his hands finding the sides of your neck, his lips crashing into yours a second later. You didn’t know what was happening, didn’t know what to do - but you kissed him back, your hands on his broad back, as he pushed you against the wall, his meaty perfect thigh shoved between your legs now, pressing against your still sensitive core. You gasped into the kiss, his tongue now devouring yours, one of his hands moving down and underneath your shirt, grabbing your breast and squeezing it harshly. Your arms locked around his neck, moans getting caught by his skillful mouth. Were you still dreaming? 

“Seokmin,” you moaned when his hand squeezed your nipple and only then did he realize what was happening. Immediately, he parted from you, causing you to miss his kiss and touch the second he left. 

“What-,” you began, but before you could even finish the question, he had already turned around and walked back into his room, closing the door behind him. And locking it. 

*

He acted like nothing happened. You were anxiously waiting in the kitchen the next morning, but once he came back from his run he just showed you his normal goofy self, excusing himself to go take a  shower. The way you had stood there, fully ready (not really) to talk about the night before, still in your pjs, still dizzy from the dream you had had as well as the very real kiss afterward. Why had he done that? Had he suddenly turned into a sleepwalker? A sleepwalker that kissed his roommate as if he had been starving? 

You sure as hell weren’t going to bring it up first. So, you played along, pretending like it didn’t happen. 

“I am declaring you clinically insane, Y/N,” Seungkwan was munching away on his corndog, while you and his (not) boyfriend Hansol sat opposite him at one of the smaller booths of the diner.

“He started it,” you shrugged, grabbing your own corndog now to take a bite from it.

“Okay, and? You could have started the conversation. For example: “Hey roomie, so about that night where you came out of your room clearly just done with getting yourself off and then kissed me? Like really hard? Against a wall?” See, that would have been a great conversation starter.”

You deadpanned at him.

“You’re an idiot,” shaking your head, you leaned back in your seat, “what if he really like, I don’t know, was in a delirious state? Maybe he drank alone before bed and just had a black out?”

“Or maybe he is an asshole who can’t own up to his actions,” Seungkwan shrugged, “but sure, yours sounds way more likely.”

“Seungkwan is right, Y/N. You should just bring it up,” Hansol looked at you and you sighed, letting your head drop onto the table.

“I don’t think I can. I’m too mortified. What if he totally regrets kissing me and that’s why he is pretending like it didn’t happen?”

“That still doesn’t give him permission to act this way. I don’t care if he is deeply in love with you or hates you, I just want him to be humane enough to tell you.”

It stung, the way he was right. Whatever Seokmin was feeling, he had to share it with you. He couldn’t just- 

“Am I going crazy or is Seokmin standing outside?” You raised your head again, eyes wide when you realized you were, in fact, not going crazy. Seokmin was right there outside the diner, on the other side of the street, his phone in his hand, an anxious look on his face.

“Did you tell him you were coming here?” Hansol asked and you shook your head.

“No, we barely saw each other this morning.”

What was he doing here? And why did he look like he would rather be anywhere else? Your eyes scanned the surroundings, a sour feeling suddenly spreading in your guts. You were only a few streets down from your apartment, the street wasn’t exactly busy but had some really good places to eat. This was the perfect meeting spot for-

“Who’s that?” Seungkwan shifted closer to the window next to you, his eyes squeezed together as if he was trying harder to recognise whoever had just shown up next to Seokmin. You didn’t have to know her to… know her. Hyorin. His ex-girlfriend that had cheated on him. He had mentioned her to you only a few times, you being a little reluctant to ask considering he knew how you felt about him. But from what you had gathered he hated her, never wanted to see her again. So why was he here now? With her?

“Is that…?” Seungkwan looked over at you, worry displayed on his face and you pressed your lips together as you nodded. 

She was beautiful. Tall, long silky black hair. Her skin glowing even from here. She was the girl Seokmin should be kissing in his delirious state, in any state, really. You swallowed down the tears that threatened to spill out and averted your gaze. Your appetite had left you and you wanted nothing more than to flee the scene, go home and never think of this moment again.

“Should we leave?” Hansol asked, looking over at Seungkwan a little helplessly. Seungkwan nodded quickly and his (not) boyfriend grabbed your arm and helped you get out of the booth. As much as you felt like yelling at him that you didn’t need this help, as much did you appreciate the gesture. Seungkwan paid at the front desk and you left the diner, your heart in desperate need for some distraction. 

*

When Seokmin got home that evening, you weren’t there. A part of him was relieved while another one already missed your presence. Sighing, he kicked off his shoes and finally slipped down onto the couch, hands rubbing over his face. This whole thing was a mess. Today was a mess. Hyorin had called him and asked him to meet up and because he was who he was he had said yes. He should have known she would just try to apologize for the nth time, telling him it had only happened once and that he was the only one for her. Little did she know that he gave zero fucks at this point. He didn’t want her anymore, he didn’t love her anymore. She had broken his heart and stomped on it, had lied and cheated, had done all these horrible things to him. And yet, he was somewhat grateful because now he was right here. In your apartment. 

It was silly, really, because he had been dating Hyorin for two years already when he saw you the first time. You and your cute gray sweatshirt and the high ponytail. You, who had been the cutest person in every single one of your classes together. You, who he couldn’t develop feelings for because he had a girlfriend. Unlike Hyorin, he wasn’t a cheater. He had loved her, truly loved her. And he had been shattered when he found out about the other guy, feeling like he could never be fixed again. He had to get out of the shared apartment, had to leave it all behind as soon as he possibly could - and he had somehow ended up on your doorstep. It was crazy how the universe worked. 

And as if that hadn’t been enough, you suddenly confessed to him, turning all of his feelings upside down. Because what was he supposed to say? Supposed to do? God, he was heartbroken over Hyorin and yet there was this ray of light in the shape of a girl that loved to spend her evenings watching trashy teen drama and cry over a bucket of Ben & Jerry’s when a character you didn’t even particularly like died on screen. 

Seokmin didn’t want to allow him to like you. He was scared that maybe you liking him altered his brain chemistry, that perhaps he would want to be with you only as a rebound and you were too good, too perfect to be anything of that kind. And so, when that night had happened and he had lost his composure, he knew he messed up. He knew you had feelings for him, god, he probably would have figured it out even if you hadn’t told him. Not just because of the dream he had overheard but because of the way you looked at him. The way you smiled, the way you laughed. He didn’t want you to look at anyone else like that. 

The sound of a door unlocking filled the quiet room now and was soon joined by the giggles of a girl and the nervous laugh of a guy - and both of these voices were familiar to Seokmin. He immediately got up and walked over to the entry way - only to see Mingyu holding your waist as you, obviously drunk, tried to get out of your shoes.

“Mingyu?” Seokmin asked confusedly.

“Oh, hey Seok,” Mingyu said, holding you steady as you felt your knees giving in. 

“What- what is going on?” 

“We met at a bar, she was with Seungkwan and his boyfriend-,”

“He is not his boyfriend!” you interrupted him with a giggle.

“Uh, right, Seungkwan and his not-boyfriend were also super drunk and I called them a cab, but I really didn’t want to send Y/N home on her own so-,”

“Why didn’t you call me?” Seokmin now came closer, his eyes set on his best friend’s hand around your waist, his insides slowly but surely heating up with something he could only recognize as jealousy.

“Uh, I thought you were busy with… you know.”

Seokmin’s jaw tensed, his eyes fixed on Mingyu who had successfully held you down as you stepped out of your shoes.

“That has been resolved hours ago, Mingyu.”

“And how was he supposed to know that, hm?” The sudden sound of your voice made both men look over at you. Your hand was raised, finger pointed at Seokmin accusingly. 

“Y/N-“, Mingyu started, but you shook your head and finally freed yourself from Mingyu’s grasp.

“No! No, I’m tired of this! Was it nice? Seeing your perfect ex again? Do you want to go back to her now? Move out and act like I don’t exist? Like you didn’t kiss me?”

Mingyu held his breath. You had told him all this in the bar earlier, where he had met you and Seungkwan and Hansol and where he had realized that you were madly in love with his best friend. He felt bad about you having seen Seokmin with Hyorin, but even more did he feel bad because it was also so painfully obvious that Seokmin liked you, too. 

“I think you’re drunk,” Seokmin noted and you laughed, throwing your hands in the air. Mingyu stayed quiet.

“Do you, now? How observant of you, Seokmin.”

The two of you were staring at each other now, fury in both your eyes. Honestly, you didn’t know what he was angry about. After all you weren’t the one running back to her ex after kissing him the way he had you. 

“I, uh, I guess I should go now,” Mingyu pointed at the door with his thumb over his shoulder, “you seem to… well, have a lot to talk about.” 

The normally so cheerful and kind Seokmin didn’t wish his best friend a good night, nor did he even look at him when he left. Instead he kept looking at you, saw the way you waved at Mingyu and thanked him, your hand squeezing his arm. Lightning was shooting through him. Jealousy was about to eat him up, was about to make him grab you and yell that you shouldn’t touch Mingyu like that. It was dumb and he knew it. You made him crazy, you made him dumb. Like a teenager who was in love for the first time, unsure what to make of it. 

Once the door had fallen shut, you stormed past your roommate, ready to enter your room and not leave it until the next day. Just that you didn’t get far. Seokmin ended up grabbing your arm after all, his touch burning on your skin. 

“Mingyu is right, we do have a lot to talk about,” he said in a hushed voice, making you scoff. 

“Fine, then talk.” With whatever willpower you had left, you looked at him. Saw the way his eyes were full of an emotion you couldn’t pinpoint - the fury from before still slightly visible but not alone. Perhaps it was anger for you speaking to him the way you had. Or maybe he was just annoyed at you for being drunk and loud and stupid. 

“Look, Y/N. What happened between us was… it shouldn’t have happened, alright?”

“Why? Because you’re back together with your cheating ex?”

“No! God, no, I would never get back with Hyorin. And I can’t believe Mingyu told you about this and-,”

“He didn’t!” You freed yourself out of his grip, your eyes dangerously beginning to prickle, “I saw you. With her.” 

He inhaled audibly - he hadn’t expected this. You saw him? With Hyorin? No wonder you were this upset. He pulled his hand through his hair.

“She wanted to talk things out. And because I’m too nice of a person I told her yes. Y/N, I don’t want to be with her anymore. She broke my heart, she hasn’t been the girl I fell in love with for ages now.” 

“Why did you kiss me?” If you were honest, you didn’t really care about when Hyorin had stopped being the girl Seokmin loved. You were more interested in whether you were. 

“I shouldn’t have done that.” 

Pang. Your face flinched before your jaw tensed. 

“Right,” your voice was smaller than you had wanted it to be, and the tears were even closer to spilling now. Of course he regretted it. Regretted kissing you, regretted making you feel the way you had. Because why would it be any different? Perhaps you should have tried to hook up with Mingyu tonight just to feel something different than this ache inside of you. 

“I just- fuck, I just don’t want to take advantage of you. Of what you feel for me.”

Now, the tears of hurt were quickly changing to tears of anger. This man really had a talent in making you switch emotions in seconds. 

“Excuse me? You- what?” You laughed bitterly, shaking your head, “don’t do this. Don’t make yourself look like a hero because you stepped back from kissing me. You did that because you wanted to. I didn’t come onto you even once in all the time you’ve been living here. So don’t you dare pin this on me or my feelings.” You hated that you began to shake and that your voice was higher than anticipated. You hated that the way he looked at you made you feel small and idiotic, made you feel as if you were the dumbest person on this earth. Instead of waiting for his response, you turned around on your heel, walking into your room and slamming the door shut behind you.

*

No one wanted to be in Seokmin’s shoes right now. After your fight he had also retreated back to his room, not exactly sure how to ever face you again. A day later he was at lunch with Mingyu, Cheol and Joshua and they all looked at him like he had suddenly grown three heads. 

“I can’t believe you said that,” Joshua judged, shaking his head. Seokmin sighed, throwing his napkin on the table. 

“Come on, was it really that bad?”

“Yes,” all three of his friends said in union, all their eyes on him, no sign of humor. Seokmin swallowed. 

“I really thought I was doing the right thing,” he mumbled now, letting his head fall, eyes studying the pattern of the wooden table.

“By doing what? Pushing away a girl that’s absolutely crazy about you? That has been nothing but kind and wonderful towards you? That you very obviously have feelings for?” Mingyu snorted, crossing his arms, “no, that most certainly wasn’t the right thing to do, Seokmin.”

While Seokmin stayed silent, Seungcheol and Joshua nodded, telling Seokmin, once again, that he was an idiot. It was no use, though. He already knew he was! He knew he had messed up and even though a part of him still thought that, maybe, his intention had been noble, the part was slowly but surely getting kicked out. 

“And what do you expect me to do? I can’t just go up to her and tell her that I was wrong for saying that. She doesn’t even talk to me!”

“Can’t really blame her, can you?” Seungcheol took a sip from his iced tea.

“Look, it’s only been a day. Let her calm down, give her space. Give yourself some more time to come up with the right thing to say. I’m sure it will be fine, you and Y/N will be fine.”

And as much as Seokmin appreciated the tough love followed by Joshua’s words of affirmation, he wasn’t sure it was really helping him. In fact, he wasn’t sure what could help him considering you started ignoring him from then on, even avoiding your shared space to either stay at Seungkwan’s place or just come home once Seokmin was already in bed. Every class you had together, you would sit right by one of the doors, arriving at the latest and leaving as soon as possible. Whilst Seokmin was trying his hardest to come up with a way to apologize to you, to win you back, you were trying your best to forget about your feelings for him. And for the most part it was even successful - you being mad at him and feeling like an idiot whenever you thought about the kiss you two had shared. But then again, only for the most part. 

“You can’t just force yourself out of love with someone,” Seungkwan said on the nth night you’ve been sitting on his couch, a bucket of ice cream in your arms, the AC on the highest setting because, holy hell, was it hot outside. 

“I can try,” you shrugged, staring at the TV screen. Seungkwan sighed, letting his eyes wander over your frame. You didn’t look your best, the hurt definitely coming through with bags under your eyes, your hair looking frizzy, the shirt you were wearing a stain right in the middle and when he had asked you about it, you couldn’t even tell him where that had come from. 

So, when he got a call from Kim Mingyu two days later, he was eager as ever to meet up and hopefully get you off his couch. 

The setting was in a small coffee shop, Seokmin seated nervously next to Mingyu who had ordered an iced americano for each of them. Seungkwan looked from one handsome guy to the other, clearing his throat.

“So, I’m guessing this is about Y/N?” he raised a brow and Mingyu quickly nodded, while Seokmin shifted on his seat, hands clasped around his plastic cup. 

“Yup. Do you have any idea what Seok over here can do to, you know, get her to speak to him again?” Mingyu pointed at Seokmin with his thumb and Seungkwan chuckled as he watched Seokmin slap the thumb away, his cheeks a bright red.

“I’m sorry, I would’ve never come to you about this, but I’m desperate at this point. She is never home and when she is, she makes it her mission to not even acknowledge my existence.”

“Yeah, when she’s not home she is at my place. And let me tell you, it’s getting incredibly annoying, considering I have a “not-boyfriend” that I’d really like to invite over,” clicking his tongue, Seungkwan leaned back and grabbed his own beverage, taking a sip from the bright blue straw, “so, I am more than happy to help.”

For a few minutes they brainstormed, Mingyu suggesting that maybe Seokmin should just ambush her, maybe get a pair of handcuffs and- yeah, he was shut down by both Seokmin and Seungkwan rather quickly. Seokmin said that maybe he should just continue texting her and that perhaps she’d come around, but Seungkwan shook his head, telling him there was no use, he had never met anyone worse at texting and reading texts than his best friend. 

After a moment of silence in which they all seemed a bit defeated, Seungkwan watched Mingyu take out his phone and open a message he had received on instagram. The only blonde at the table had never been quicker to sit up and almost knock over his drink.

“I know what you have to do.” 

-

It had been two weeks since you had last talked to Seokmin and for once you were inside your apartment, knowing that he was at class while yours had been canceled. It was nice to be back home during day time for a change, your feet propped up on the small coffee table in front of the sofa. A book in your lap that you had discarded for a bit to check your phone, only to be hit in the face by a cruel, cruel reality. The book slipped off your lap as you withdrew your legs from the table and instead kneeled on the couch, both hands gripping your phone tightly. 

“He has got to be joking,” you mumbled, feeling dizzy as you stared at the mirror pic Seokmin had posted half an hour ago. He hadn’t posted in months. Basically since he and Hyerin had broken up. His insta was mainly blank except for a few pictures he had taken of pretty sceneries. Never had he ever posted gym selfies. No. That had been Mingyu, showing off Seokmin’s body in his pictures as well as his own. 

To be fair, there wasn’t much body to see on the selfie. It was him in the gym, his long sleeved shirt rolled up above his elbows, showing enough arm to make you head feel crazy. His left hand was holding his phone, his fingers spread over it and, fuck, his hand. His hair was just slightly messy, his jaw and neck on full display and you forgot how to breathe. Arousal pooled in between your legs now and you honestly couldn’t even understand why. Perhaps, you thought, because this was the first time you had seen his face in almost two weeks and this picture just fed into all of your small kinks about him. Swallowing hard, you licked your lips and continued to bury your teeth into the bottom one, your pussy already throbbing. How pathetic. Little did you know you were about to become even more pathetic. Only now did your eyes spot the small symbol on the right side of the post, signaling you that there wasn’t just one picture. With a throat as dry as the desert, you clicked back on the post, a shaking index finger swiping to the left, only to be met by what could only be described as worse. There you had the body you had so desperately wished for. Leaned back on what you assumed to be a bench press, his legs adjourned in baggy jeans you had seen him wear a handful of times. Back then you had been happy to not see them on him this much because for whatever reason he was even more sexy in them. They weren’t even tight (as baggy jeans already suggested), but they still seemed to fit him perfectly. And now, with him manspreading over a bench in the gym, the red-white shirt with a car race theme, sleeves still rolled up, one arm hanging over his right thigh, holding onto the black leather beneath him, showing off a pretty vein you could literally already feel underneath your tongue. He was crazy. Crazy and mean and horrible and you knew all of this on purpose. His fingers on display, his thighs looking so big in those god forsaken jeans. Hair messy, jawline looking so sharp you were sure it could cut glass.

And as if all of this wasn’t bad enough, you suddenly heard the door clicking open. Your head jerked up, your eyes wide and your cheeks flushed burgundy. When you saw Seokmin walk through the door and finally into the living room, you felt your phone slip from your hand and onto the couch. He was carrying a gym bag, his hair still slightly damp. His skin was glowing and his eyes were widened in surprise. He most definitely hadn’t expected to see you.

“I thought you had class?” He said, his gym bag dropping onto the floor next to him. You slowly got up from the couch.

“Got canceled. Yours?” 

“Same.”

Nodding, you came to a stop in front of him, his tall figure towering over you, your chest heaving, head clouded by the smell of his cologne, of the knowledge he had posted that picture most definitely to get to you. With a heartbeat the speed of light, you looked into his eyes.

“Did Seungkwan tell you to post those pictures?” you whispered. Seokmin hesitated. Then he nodded. 

“Did it work?” he asked, head slightly tilted to the side. 

Instead of answering, your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him down to crash your lips against his. Seokmin immediately reacted, hands on the small of your back, pushing you closer. This kiss was different from the first, not less exciting or dizzying, but you felt more in control, felt more like this was it, this was what you had craved for so long. 

Seokmin, meanwhile, was on cloud nine, your lips feeling so incredible on his. For him this was all he had wanted for the last weeks and while he had gotten that small taste back then, nothing could have prepared him for what he was feeling right now. All sense of self control left his body as he deepened the kiss, his tongue sliding over your bottom lip, asking to be let in. Once your tongues touched, there was no way in hell this was going to end. You moaned into his mouth, your nails digging into his skin while he moved his hands down, wrapping around your thighs to lift you up. Instinctively your legs swung around him, his hands leaving burns where he touched you. 

He moved over to the couch where you had sat before, sitting down with you now straddling him, both of your hands roaming around the other’s body. You let your fingers slide under his shirt and together you took it off, lips parting momentarily and letting you admire his toned chest, his abs and shoulders. You took your sweet time, fingers caressing his skin while your lips latched onto his neck, sucking harshly. Seokmin moaned, one hand on the back of your head, while the other laid on your thigh. 

With every passing second you felt yourself grow wetter, your hips beginning to grind down, both of your clothed crotches meeting, making both of you even more desperate. Seokmin grabbed your face, kissing you passionately once more, thumbs on either side of your cheeks. You whimpered when you felt him buck up, his erection already making your head spin. Never had you ever wanted anyone as bad. Finally, his hands moved to take off your shirt, leaving you in shorts and nothing else. A groan escaped him, hands all over your breasts, lips sucking your hard nipple inside his mouth, your head falling back, hands digging into his scalp. He was devouring your tits one at a time, hands squeezing them harshly as you couldn’t help but move your hips against him.

“S-Seokmin, please,” you whined, the arousal literally audible. Hearing you say his name like this… Seokmin parted from your chest and instead looked up at you. 

“Seungkwan told me something,” he whispered, one hand now moving down, while the other was back on your face, “he told me you take a… certain liking to my fingers.” The smirk on his face made you forget to kill Seungkwan later. You licked over your lips, biting down on it after, only to let out a small gasp when his right hand slipped into your shorts, pressing down on the wet spot between your legs. He sucked in a breath.

“Fuck, arren’t you wet for me, angel?” He whispered, while his other hand moved to your lips now, his eyebrows shooting up as he held eye contact. You knew what he wanted and you were more than eager to oblige. Parting your lips and stretching out your tongue, Seokmin felt himself twitch as he laid his index and middle finger on top of your tongue.

“Suck,” he then ordered you and without thinking twice, you did as asked. The fingers were long and thin and perfect and your eyes rolled back when you felt him press down on your tongue, his eyes becoming a little crazier with every passing second. 

“Both your holes stuffed with my fingers, what do you think?” his voice made goosebumps erupt all over your body, moaning around his digits while nodding wildly. Seokmin chuckled, not saying anything as he shoved your panties to the side, your hips almost automatically lifting so he could coat himself in your juice, his cock growing harder with every inch of him that got blessed with your arousal. 

“Think you can take two already?” when you nodded again, he immediately let his pretty fingers sink into you, both of you moaning at the contact. He sank in as deep as he could, until every bit was inside of you, knuckles deep, making him feel like he was either going to cum in his pants or simply explode. 

“God, you feel so fucking good, angel. Common, fuck yourself on my fingers and don’t forget to suck.” 

Your body began moving right away. Your mouth was sucking his fingers as if they were his cock, tongue pressing, tongue flicking against them. Head bobbing back and forth as your hips moved up and down on his other hand, his fingers feeling heavenly inside your walls. And when he put his thumb on your clit, you were sure the heavenly feeling would soon get you to cum all over him. 

“Good girl, doing so well for me, fuck,” Seokmin felt his throat dry up, sweat forming on the top of his head. How badly he wanted to fuck you right now, just get his fingers out and replace them with his throbbing cock - but he wanted to take his time with you. He wanted to see you live out your dream with his fingers buried inside of you, with your saliva coating his one hand and your perfect, sweet arousal the other. He wanted to see you come undone like this, fucking yourself on his fingers, before he took you the way he wanted, making you scream his name and beg him to make you cum with his cock. 

You felt your orgasm closing in on you, your movements becoming sloppier, eyes rolled back and the fingers in your mouth almost forgotten. Once Seokmin noticed, he grinned, beginning to fuck them inside your mouth himself, a high pitched moan escaping you and making another bit of precum shoot out of Seokmin’s cock. 

“Yeah, are you close, baby? Come on, I know you want to cum for me.” He leaned forward, the angle of his fingers changing slightly, hitting you right where you needed him and when his lips began kissing and licking at your neck, you couldn’t help but cum hard, your pussy clenching around his fingers over and over again, milking yourself for all you had. 

“Fuck,” he was in a daze, pulling both sets of fingers outside your holes, eyes searching for yours, before closing his lips around the fingers that had just made you cum so beautifully. You whimpered, pussy throbbing at the sight of him licking your arousal from his own digits. 

“Seokmin…,” you cried out and he pulled his fingers back, instead shooting forward now to kiss you again. You could taste yourself on his lips, hands now back around his neck, eyes closed shut as he kissed you with delicious desperation. 

“Fuck me on the windowsill, Seok, please.” 

He parted from you only for a second, before nodding and kissing you again, getting up with your legs wrapped around him, finally placing you on the narrow sill, hands gripping your shorts and panties and pulling them off your legs. You watched as he opened his own jeans next, letting them fall to the floor before finally revealing what you had only imagined so far. You couldn’t help but stare, your mouth watering at the sight of his big cock, all red at the tip and veiny, thick and a little bent to the left. Oh, how much you wanted him to ruin you. 

“I can’t wait to fuck you, baby,” he purred now, arms back around your body, lips closing around yours again. Every inch of you was on fire, your hands immediately finding his cock, one grabbing his balls, while the other was around his girth, moving up to let your thumb slide over his slit. He twitched in your hand, a beautiful moan coming out his mouth that had you shivering. Spreading your legs further, you brought his leaking cock to your lips, letting the tip circle your clit for a bit, both of you moaning into the other's mouth, before finally lining him up with your sopping core.

“Please, fuck me, I need you so bad,” your voice was muffled against his lips and he nodded, replacing your hand with his to push inside you, the stretch having your nails dig into his shoulders, whimpers escaping your pink lips as he lowered himself into you until he bottomed out, his forehead now pressing against yours.

“You feel so good, so perfect around me, baby,” he kissed you softly, hands sliding over your sides up to your tits, and once he began squeezing them again, his lips finding yours, he began thrusting, first deep and hard, before he quickened, your legs pulling him even closer. He was perfect. The way he held you, the way his thumb was on your nipple, lips now sucking on the sensitive skin on your neck, cock fucking you deep and hard and quick, leaving no room for complaints. You didn’t know how to ever stop moaning his name, how to be quiet, how to not have your body already signal another climax. 

“A-am close,” you whined and Seokmin nodded, head now in between your neck and shoulder, kissing every inch of your skin. Nothing had ever felt this good, no sex with anyone had ever made him feel as if  he was going to cum within seconds, while also wanting it to never end. He sped up once more, hands back on your face as he wanted to cum with your tongue inside his mouth, with your lips claimed as his. You tried to match his pace, desperate and breathy moans filling the air that already smelled like nothing but sex. There was nothing you could do to prevent the orgasm rushing over you, your walls clenching around his cock over and over again, his movements getting sloppier with every second, your and his salivas mixing, running over both your chins when he finally sucked your tongue into his mouth as he came, hot white cum spreading in your pussy that now milked him for all he had, every little drop as precious as the other. 

“Fuck, oh my god,” Seokmin breathed into your mouth, his hands caressing your hair as he kissed your neck, both of you slowly getting down from your highs. You two stayed like this for a while. Him, kissing your neck, your shoulders, your chin and finally your lips. It suddenly feels like everything has fallen into place perfectly, like this is what should have happened the first time he ever stepped into place, maybe even when you first laid eyes on him three years ago. He stays inside you, your combined releases only slowly dripping out of you. How could he make you feel this precious? This fragile in the best way?

“Y/N…”, he then whispers after a while, his hands next to you on the sill, his eyes so soft and yet full of guilt. For a second you think he regrets having done this but then you hear his next words.

“I’m so sorry I pushed you away. I never should have done that. I was scared of my own feelings and of taking advantage of you, and I get now that I should have just talked to you about this instead of acting like I was protecting you when in reality I was just protecting myself,” he caressed your face, a stray lock of hair finds it’s way behind your ear by his finger.

“I get it. And I’m sorry too, for, you know, completely shutting you out.” You smile weakly and Seokmin chuckles, kissing your cheek again.

“I would have done the same. So, you forgive me?”

“Isn’t you coming inside me enough reason to believe I have?” You tease him with a slight grin and he turns red, looking down at him still buried inside your warmth. 

“Thank you. For forgiving me,” he looks up at you, a mischievous glint in his eyes, “and also for letting me cum inside you.” 

You start laughing, pushing him away slightly by the shoulder and your heart seems to jump out of your chest when he kisses you again. You were sure  that you’ll never get tired of doing this. 

-

“So, if i want you to get turned on I’ll just need to post more gym pics?” Seokmin’s arm was around you, both of you freshly out of the shower seated on the couch. You scoffed, but felt your cheeks heat up.

“Shut up,” you couldn’t help but smile though, the fact he was so close to you, holding you. It was all too much but in the best way possible. You never wanted to let this man go again. 

“You’re so cute when you’re flustered”, he giggled now, and god, had you ever heard a more adorable sound? You doubted it. Just when you were about to respond (mainly to tell him to shut up again), you heard your phone ring. Looking over Seokmin’s lap, you saw your phone where you’d left it. He followed your gaze and grabbed your phone for you, a knowing smile on his lips.

“If we were to unlock this now, what would we find, hm?”

Ignoring him, you finally picked up. It was Seungkwan.

“Hi traitor,” you said, eyebrows raised. Seungkwan scoffed on the other side.

“Oh please, you can’t tell me y’all didn’t fuck.”

Seokmin, who was very obnoxiously leaning in closer to hear the conversation, giggled again, his cheeks turning rosy. You rolled your eyes.

“Doesn’t mean I appreciate you spilling my kinks to people you barely know.”

“You know you do kind of love me for it though. So, you two together now?” You froze in place, while your eyes moved very slowly to look at Seokmin. What you saw made your stomach turn and twist and tumble and millions of butterflies suddenly started dancing Gangnam Style. His eyes were so fond, his features soft, the rose on his cheeks now accented by his bright perfect smile. When he nodded, his hand coming to caress your head, you couldn’t help but smile the brightest you ever had.

“As a matter of fact, yes. Yes, we are.”

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[whatsk-poppinhomies]

Pairing : Lee Felix x F!Reader TW : very angsty ; fluffy in the beginning just to break everyone's hearts a little bit more ; death of a family member ; famous nana cliffhanger ; Word Count : 5.2k Request : @lovesunshinefelix : Write more angst 😵‍💫 GIVE ME THE ANGST 😭🧎‍♀️ A/N : Of course! Anything for you bestie!! This one might be a little bit self indulgent just slightly, but it's definitely gonna be sad. I love making angsty Felix fics!

“One iced americano, please.”

“Okay, and what’s the name for the order?” 

“Lee Felix.” 

“Mmn… It should be done in just a moment.”

“Thank you.”

Such a short interaction, but that’s how it all began. You were simply the barista at the coffee shop next door to the office, but in a matter of seconds, you had become so much more to him. Your sweet smile and the fairy lights that twinkled in your eyes as you looked at him. He was absolutely enamored by you. 

The craziest part was that he didn’t even like coffee that much, he had just been craving the taste of the drink. Is that why it felt all the more serious to him? Like it had been fate that brought him to you in the first place, but now it was you that kept bringing him back. 

“One iced americano, please.” 

“The name for the order?” 

“It’s Lee Felix.” 

“Alrighty, it should be done soon.” 

“I’ll wait here.” 

He wondered if you’d remember him if he came in every day. Would you remember his order or his name? Would you remember the way he’d smile at you whenever you spoke? Would you remember anything about him, or was he just another customer that you probably forgot about once the work day was done? 

He wanted it to be like that, he wanted to be a customer that you looked forward to seeing. He wanted your head to lift with every ring of the bell when the shop door would open. He wanted you to wait for his appearance, to see you smile when he finally came in. He wanted you to recognize him. 

“One iced-“ 

“Americano? Is it for a Lee Felix?” 

“Hm… Maybe I should switch up my order?” 

“It’s almost been two weeks, I can’t imagine having an iced americano every single day for that long.” 

“Well, what would you recommend?” 

“I’m not sure… I don’t really drink coffee.” 

“That’s ironic. You don’t drink anything here?” 

“Does the free water count?” 

“I’ll take a free water then.” 

It was the first time he had actually talked to you, but it was also the first time you had said his name in any way other than letting him know that his order was done, it was the first time that you had said his order without his having to really say anything at all. It was the proof that he needed to know that he was on the right track, he just had to keep going. 

You had laughed that day too, not one of those fake laughs that he had heard you give the other guys that would try to flirt with you… It was a genuine laugh, the sound so beautiful that it was on a constant loop in his head for the rest of the day. He couldn’t get you off of his mind, but he didn’t want to rush things. Even if he felt that things were going perfectly, he wanted you to feel the same way. 

“Two free waters and a croffle, please.” 

“Really changing it up now, are we? Are you bringing a date?” 

“Ah… Not exactly…” 

“Good, because I don’t think a woman would be very impressed with free water for a drink.” 

“But the woman doesn’t drink anything on the menu. I’m really going out on a limb here with the croffle.” 

“You can never go wrong with a croffle, they’re delicious. Why would you invite this woman to the coffee shop if you know she doesn’t like anything on the menu though?”

“Because this is the only place I get to see her, and I’m too shy to ask her for her number, so I just wanted to see if she wanted to have some free water and share a croffle with me.” 

“Oh… Is she here already?” 

“I’m looking at her…” 

He could remember vividly the way you froze, the way it felt when his stomach began its descent, thinking that you would turn him down. It took you so long to say anything, he wondered if he had completely blown it by being so forward. He had never been so nervous in his life, but then that smile appeared on your face and you let out the most beautiful laugh, the sound tinged with a certain shyness that he had never read from you before. Did he make you as shy as you made him?

Sitting across the table from you, he could feel it, you were meant for him and he was meant for you. He was a perfect mix of so many emotions, nervousness, shyness, happiness, he was everything balled up into one, but it made him feel alive. It was like he was standing on stage and performing for all of STAY, except there was no setlist, there was no particular script or order that he had to follow… And it was only your eyes on him… But it was just as amazing, if not more, because you were looking at him and only him, and you were there with just him. He was all yours, and you were all his. 

///

“If you could have your wedding anywhere in the world, where would it be?” He asked as you both laid on the blanket beneath the cherry blossom trees that were in full bloom. It was beautiful, the perfect spot for a date, although most people would say that he didn’t have to try as hard now that it’s been 5 months since the two of you have been together. He didn’t believe them though, because every single time he took you somewhere new, somewhere more beautiful than the last, your eyes would light up and that adorable smile would stretch across your face, and he’d question why he would give that up. 

You hummed in thought, and he wondered what your mind looked like right now. Were images of your dream wedding playing out behind your closed eyes? Was he the one standing across from you in those thoughts, dressed in a suit, tears in his eyes as he watched the woman of his dreams walk down the aisle to meet him at the end? “I think… Hmm… Well, I don’t really mind much, actually. As long as I’m there with the person that I love, that I want to spend the rest of my life with… The place doesn’t matter much at all.” How could you be so amazing? He asked himself that every single day. “What about you? Where would your dream wedding be?” 

He hummed softly, rolling over onto his side and propping himself up on his elbow, staring down at you with the most loving eyes. He knew for a fact that he had never loved someone as much as he loves you, and it was only bound to get stronger. “I’m sure that a lot of people would think that I’d want to get married on the beach somewhere in Australia since that’s where I’m from… But I feel like the beach is rather cliche, it gets done too much.” 

“I like the beach…” You murmured, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear, your fingers lingering against his cheek. “I think it would make for some beautiful pictures, don’t you?” He hadn’t exactly thought about it that way, but now that he heard your input, it was like his entire view had been changed. 

“The beach it’ll be then.” He said quite enthusiastically, his cheeks still flushed from where you had touched him. You just had the ability to send fire coursing through his veins and he loved the feeling of it, the warmth that it brought. 

You giggled softly, rolling your eyes at the sudden switch up. “What’s with the serious questions all of a sudden? Do you plan on getting married some time soon? You have to invite me to the wedding.” You joked, and he stuck his tongue out at you before dipping down and pressing his lips to yours. 

“The only wedding I want is the one where you’re meeting me at the end of the aisle.” He said much softer now, even his breaths were so quiet it was almost like he wasn’t breathing at all. “We have time though… I just wanted a general idea of what you’d want.” 

“Felix…” His name was like a breath from your lips, so gentle, so light that the winds that shook the blossoms off the trees would be able to pick it up and carry it away. 

“It’s okay, you don’t have to think too hard about it just now. I’ll make sure everything is perfect for you when the day comes.” 

“You’re crazy…” You murmured, and maybe he was. Maybe he was out of his damn mind to be planning a wedding with a girl that he had met at a coffee shop only five months ago. But to him it felt right, it felt like the only thing to do. He knew that all he wanted was you anyway, and he didn’t want to hide the way he felt for you. He wanted you to know that you were the only person he ever wanted in his life. 

“Mm… Maybe… You smell like coffee beans…” He teased, nuzzling his nose into the crook of your neck and taking a deep breath. “Is that… French Roast? Maybe… with a hint of vanilla?” 

You squealed, playfully pushing against his shoulders as you tried to squirm free. “Stop it! You’re the one who didn’t want to wait for me to go home and change when I got off!” You defended, but he thought it was so damn adorable. 

“I just like to see you, I didn’t want to wait!” He jokingly whined, dropping on top of you completely, his face still hidden, his lips brushing against your skin as he spoke. “You smell amazing, absolutely delicious, my coffee queen.” 

///

“Would you rather have your body and Bbokaris head, or the other way around?” You asked one night as you sat beside him on the couch. The question was most likely nothing more than a joke, but he wanted you to know that he listened to and thought about everything that you said, so he paused the movie that was playing on the tv and turned his body entirely toward you. 

“Would you still love me regardless of what my answer is?” He quizzed, his eyes searching deeply into yours for the answer, and you nodded your head so firmly that he knew you weren’t lying. You’d love him no matter what, and he would love you just the same. “I think I’d rather have his head, I don’t want to be any shorter… Or… Am I just a regular sized version of Bbokari? Is he me sized or am I him sized?” 

You snorted at the questions, your laughter still his most favorite sound in the entire world. He made a goal to make you laugh at least twice a day, if not more. “It would be the size of your skzoo plushy. It would be so cute though, wouldn’t it?! I could just carry you around with me everywhere I go! I’d never have to miss you!” 

Even though you were still giggling, your words made his heart flutter. Did you miss him when he wasn’t around? Did your heart ache like his whenever there was distance between the two of you? He always tried not to be too clingy. “You never have to miss me now, just text me and I’ll come to you always.” He draped his arm over your shoulder, tugging you closer to his side as he pressed a small kiss to your temple. 

“You have so much work to do, I don’t like bothering you. I would never call you away from practice or recording just to see you… Even if I want to.” You looked up at him, your smile pushing your cheeks up and squinting your eyes. Your eyes… He wanted to get lost in them for hours and hours, he wanted to live in them just for a moment, to see the world the way you do. What made you angry? What made you sad? He’s been with you for seven months now and he’s never seen you anything but happy. Was it because you were with him? Did he make all of your fears, your worries, your anger… Did he make it disappear? 

“I think even if I had Bbokari body I’d be in practice… Can you imagine?” Your head fell back once more as your laughter filled the room, he never wanted to stop hearing it. “Wait… Would my head shrink too, or would my head stay normal sized? I have so many questions!” 

You were laughing even harder now, wheezing even as you breathlessly tried to talk through fits of giggles. “Your normal head… Definitely… It would be so top heavy on the tiny body… Oh my gosh… Just picturing it… The Maniac move… With the…” You couldn’t even finish the sentence, bursting into a new fit of laughter, and now his mind was filled with the same image, and you both were laughing. 

It was nice to have someone to just laugh with, to goof around with. He felt so normal with you, he could have fun, he could be truly happy when you were beside him. That’s why he couldn’t let you go, why he kept thinking to a time somewhere in the future where you and him would both be on the beach in Australia, surrounded by your families and your friends, and he’d slip a ring onto your finger and promise himself to you for the rest of forever. 

///

“When was the last time I told you I loved you?” Felix asked over the phone, trying not to speak too loud. Sharing a hotel room wasn’t exactly hard, but he tried to be as respectful as possible to the guys who were trying to sleep while also trying to talk to you as much as he could. Time zones were always a pain in the ass, but they’re even worse now considering he couldn’t just not talk to you while he was away. 

“About five seconds ago.” You whispered, although there was no need for you to, he had your voice coming through his headphone so none of the other guys would hear you. “It’s so early in the morning for you… Aren’t you tired? I don’t want to keep you up all night.” 

“Mm… It’s worth it to talk to you.” He didn’t care if he was tired, he’d just sleep while getting his hair and makeup done, or he’d sleep in the car on the way to the next venue. “Have you eaten yet?” He quickly tried to change the subject, truthfully, he just wanted to hear you talk. He loved listening to you speak, he could lay in the hotel bed for hours with your sweet whispers filling his ears. 

“Not yet… I’m trying to think of what to eat.” The sound of your kitchen cabinets squeaking was heard and he chuckled softly, making a mental note to try to fix them or at least put some oil on the hinges so they wouldn’t be as loud. “Think I might just have a ramen bowl. It’s not as fun to do the dishes when I don’t have my designated drier.” 

Everything that the two of you did together was fun, it didn’t matter what it was. Whether you were going on dates or if it was something as mundane as doing the dishes or the laundry, if you were doing it together, that’s what made it enjoyable. “Well just let the dishes build up and we’ll have so much fun washing them together once I get back.” He teased, and he could just see the eye roll that came along with your soft snort as you tried to stifle your laughter. 

“I don’t think my sink is big enough for that many dishes.” You said between giggles, but your laughter was short lived as you let out a quiet sigh. “I miss you… So much…” Your voice was quieter now, almost to the point that he couldn’t hear you, and the only reason he could is thanks to the headphones. “Bbokari doesn’t hug me back the way you do… The bed is so empty and cold on your side… And the clothes that you left me are starting to lose your scent.” 

He couldn’t be more thankful that the two other guys in the room were already asleep because he could feel the tears pricking at his eyes as he listened to you. Felix missed you just as much, and he considered himself to be lucky because he wasn’t in a house that would feel so lonely if the roles were reversed. “I know, babe. I’ll be home soon, just wait for me. I miss you too… So much. I wish I could have snuck you here with me, I wish you would have packed yourself in my suitcase. We wouldn’t have to miss each other at all.” 

Now you both were crying, and he got up out of the bed as quietly as he could to make his way to the bathroom just to make sure he didn’t wake anyone up with his sniffling. “I love you, Lix…” Hearing you say it, no matter how many times he heard it, it was always like the first time. His heart would flutter and he’d feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and while this time was no different, there was an extra feeling of sadness that came along with it. 

“I love you too, babe… Don’t cry anymore, please? You’re too beautiful to cry… Smile for me, okay? And just always remember, I’m not gone forever, I’ll always come home to you.” 

///

2 months later and he was finally heading back home to you. The night before the flight he had stayed up just to talk to you on the phone, it sounded like you were crying again, but he assumed that the tears you were shedding were tears of happiness that he’d finally be returning to you. He’d be lying if he tried to say that he hadn’t shed a few tears himself at the thought of finally being able to hold you and kiss you again. 

He slept through the entire plane ride, and he hadn’t told you what time he’d be landing because he wanted to surprise you by showing up at your work. He wouldn’t say that he’s a hopeless romantic, but he couldn’t stop thinking about how romantic it would be to show up at your work with a bouquet of flowers. He could already see the shy little smile that would spread across your face, the flustered look in your eyes when you saw him walk through the door. 

When the plane finally landed, his excitement really kicked in. He didn’t want to wait to take his things back to the dorms, he didn’t even care to change his clothes or check to see how he looked. All he could think about was you. So he had the guys take all of his bags back to the dorms and he asked to be taken straight to the little coffee shop right beside the office… after stopping by a flower shop first though. 

“One iced americano, please.” His voice was cheerful as he practically waltzed through the door, the tiny bell above his head ringing out and announcing his entrance. The bouquet was hidden behind his back and he couldn’t help but smile wide as he looked around at the familiar scenery… They hadn’t changed anything in the months that he had been gone. 

“She’s not here.” One of the employees said, and Felix didn’t know whether to feel disappointed, humiliated, or both. He was sure that you would be there, you always worked on the weekdays, and it’s not like you had said anything about having your schedule changed. Maybe he should have let you know that he was on his way to the shop just so that you could have let him know that you weren’t there. 

“Oh… Well… Did her schedule change?” He asked rather sheepishly, and the girl behind the counter cocked her head to the side, her eyebrow raising. “What? Why are you looking at me like that? You didn’t fire her, did you?!” 

“She didn’t tell you, did she?” The girl leaned across the counter, and there was a look in her eye that made it clear to him that she found some kind of enjoyment in this, but he didn’t know what the hell she was talking about. “She went home. And I’m not talking about down the street. I mean, she hopped on a plane and went home. She was in a rush too.” 

The flowers fell to the floor, and he felt that he was going to be next if he didn’t keep himself steady against the counter. You… You didn’t even live in Korea… And you hadn’t told him that at all. He wouldn’t have even minded, as long as he knew that you’d always be his… But you just left. You left without saying anything to him. You left without warning, without reason. He didn’t even know what to do. 

For a moment, the world froze, time seemed to stop entirely, his mind reeling with what he could do, what he should do. Was he supposed to call you? Would you even answer him? Were you trying to run away from him? Had he done something wrong? He just couldn’t understand what he had done to make you leave without a message, a call… You had given him nothing when he wanted to give you everything. It wasn’t fair. Was he too clingy? Why didn’t you just talk to him? He would have done anything to just keep you, he would have changed completely if it meant having you still. 

“If you want to talk about it, I-“ The girl began, but he didn’t want to talk to anyone if it wasn’t you. She didn’t have the answers, she couldn’t tell him what he needed to know. He stormed out of the shop, taking a deep breath, the cold air catching in his throat and causing it to burn. He didn’t want to cry, but it seemed inevitable as the chill caught on the dampened streaks that coated his cheeks. Was there someone else? What was he to you that you could just give up so easily? How could you walk away without even a glance back, a second thought? He couldn’t let you do this, he just couldn’t. He was going to get an answer, whether you planned on giving it to him or not.

///

“Tell me more about your time in Korea. Tell me about that boy you met.” Your grandmother said hoarsely, her frail hand reaching out to grab yours. “You smile when you talk about him. I like seeing you smile.” 

“Gran… You really need to rest now.” You whispered, holding her hand in both of yours to try to warm it up. She always felt so cold now. “I’ll tell you all about it, I’ll tell you all about him when you wake up. I’ll be here.” Your thumb brushed along her knuckles, her skin wrinkled and thin, but to hold her hand was such a comforting thing, to be there beside her. 

She didn’t argue, she simply settled against her pillow, using her free hand to pull up her blanket a little higher as she kept her other hand between yours. She was weak, she was sick, and when you had gotten the call from your father that she was being moved from the hospital and being put into hospice, there was nothing that would keep you from being by her side. 

It was late, 11 o’clock at night, a little past that even, and everyone had gone to bed in their respective guest rooms. Everyone but you, still jet lagged and running on Korean time. You were wide awake, and you knew that a part of you refused to fall asleep just so that you’d have a little more time with your grandmother, even if it was just sitting beside her while she was sleeping. It might be all the time you have left with her, and a part of you felt guilty for being gone the past year, before she got really sick, before things came to this. You knew that she would have wanted you to live your life though, to find happiness, to find someone that you loved, someone who loved you back just as much. And you had found that, you had found all of those things in Felix, and you felt terrible for leaving the way you did, but you were in such a hurry, you were hoping he’d understand. 

11:56pm, four minutes to midnight and your phone rang on the nightstand table beside your grandmother’s bed. Felixs name was at the top of the screen and you quickly answered it, taking one last look at your grandmother before leaving the room to stand in the hallway, not wanting to risk waking her up while talking to him. “Lix…” You sighed out his name, and there was a sense of relief being kept at bay long enough for you to hear his voice, and you knew that once you did, you’d feel slightly better. 

“You left.” He began, and that relief never set in, instead there was just dread and more guilt stacked on top of the already existing emotion. “An entire year, and I didn’t even hear it from you, I heard it from one of your coworkers that you don’t even live here… And the worst part is that I didn’t even hear about it until you were already gone.” 

“I know that you’re angry, you have every right to be… But can you just listen to me, please?” You begged as quietly as you could, leaning against the wall in the hallway and slowly sinking to the floor. 

“I do have the right to be angry, and I won’t listen. You had almost 365 days for me to sit and listen to you so that maybe I’d understand what you did… But not now. It’s too late for explanations and I don’t want to hear your excuses either.” 

He sounded so angry, you had never heard him get mad before, and while you would have gotten angry right back, you were too busy being devastated. You needed him, you needed him more than anything right now, but he wasn’t even listening to you. On top of being sad, you were confused, you did live in Korea, just because you weren’t originally from there didn’t mean that you weren’t living there. “Why did you call… If you’re just going to yell at me and not listen to what I have to say… Why would you call me?” 

“You basically walked out on me… No… You did worse… You left the damn country. You’ve broken me, I can’t believe you’re the one even crying right now.” You clasped your hand over your mouth to try to muffle the sound of your sobs just so he wouldn’t point them out. “You know what… I don’t have anything else to say to you. I hope you enjoyed your year, you can go tell everyone about how you broke my heart, I’m sure you’ll be real popular for that. Bye.” You didn’t know what the hell he was on about, you didn’t know where the assumptions even came from, but they only managed to hurt worse. 

You were left in silence, your heart in shambles as you sat in the dark hallway, the only light coming from the cracked bathroom door at the end of the hall. You were shrouded in sadness, you had just lost the love of your life, the man that you planned on spending the rest of your life with, and you were about to lose your grandmother. Was there anything else that life would throw at you? 

///

It had been a week since the phone call, and while he had been angry then, the anger had slowly worn off and turned into a sadness spurred by the loneliness that he felt without you there. Hell, he would have been fine just talking to you on the phone, hearing your voice or seeing you through a video call. There was too much shame though, too much regret. He had lost his temper with you, and while the call had initially been to figure out why you had left, he hadn’t even let you talk long enough to tell him. 

He tried to not let it bother him, he tried to focus his mind on anything else, but whenever he’d go to the office, he’d have to go past the little coffee shop and it was a constant reminder of you, of when things had first begun. He felt like a fool, an absolute idiot, and now he didn’t even know how you were doing. He still loved you, and he wanted nothing more than to tell you those three words and hear them back, but now he was too scared to even try to contact you. 

So he watched your social accounts, waiting to see an update of any kind. You hadn’t blocked him, which was either a good sign, or a sign that you hadn’t been online in a while and he didn’t know how to feel about that thought. The last post you had made was from a week before he had left for tour, a picture of the two of you sitting at your table in the coffee shop, sharing a croffle with your free waters, a perfect recreation of your first date. 

His notifications were on for whenever you did post, just so that he could be the first person to like the picture or an update, but it had been so long since you posted that he rarely even checked the notifications to see if it was you. Today had been a rare occurrence where he had already been looking at his phone when you did post, and while it was only an instagram story update, he immediately clicked on it. 

“I’ll miss you Gran… I love you so much.” The text read under a picture of an older woman, her eyes wrinkled in the corners, a sign that she smiled a lot, and her smile was just like yours, he could see it in the picture. She was a happy woman, he could tell that she was loved, and that she had loved just as much. As he looked at the picture longer though, it set in, the realization… You hadn’t left him, not because you wanted to… You had to go home, you had to be there for her, for your family… And he had gotten angry with you for that… He hadn’t even let you explain. 

“Oh… Fuck!” He hissed, quickly closing out of instagram and opening his phone, his thumb hovering over your contact. He wasn’t sure how he’d go about apologizing, he didn’t know how the phone call would go even if you did answer, but he had to try. He had to at least say sorry if nothing else, so he called you, and he waited for it to go to voicemail, but then he heard silence… and then a shaky breath… You were crying. “Y/N… Babe… Are you there?” 

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[justwonder113]

Showering Hyunjin with affection

Bang Chan; Lee Know; Changbin; Han; Felix; Seungmin; IN;

Summary: you just had to show your drama queen of a boyfriend how much you love him. word count:2.5k

Warning: lot's of kissing, reader is gender neutral, both of them are whipped, appearance of 3racha, predebut Han almost making an entrance, Hyunjin is drunk and a drama queen, overall soft stuff. Please tell me if I missed something

A/N- I'm back with another fic, this took me a while but I'm kinda really satisfied with it, I really hope you all like it. I will try to write the next part as soon as I can. I wanna finish these series as soon as I can, first of all because I'm all excited and can't wait, also I'm excited to try out new tropes, I was thinking of challenging one bed trope after this, with various different dynamics. The requests are open, if you want me to write something I'll gladly accept the challenge. Also feel free to share your thoughts with me, I absolutely adore interacting with y'all.

After sighing for the nth time you finally forced yourself to turn off the shitty netflix show you were watching to spend time. You had nothing to do and were bored out of your mind, but not to that context to sit through another minute of this. It was almost 3 am and any normal person would be asleep by now, but here you were wide awake, feeling nothing remotely close to sleepiness.

You sat up straight after laying for couple of hours and boy you regretted it. The dizzy spell you got was nothing to joke with, maybe you should check your iron levels. Also your poor muscles felt so sore you would surely feel all stiff tomorrow. Your back was killing you, and, not to be dramatic but, you would marry anyone on the spot if they managed to massage the knots out. It was safe to say, you desperately needed some good spa day.

Speaking of marriage and partners, you were curious on how Hyunjin was doing. Even a mere thought of your amazing boyfriend bought a smile to your face. You couldn't believe you two were actually dating after pining over him for so many years. You sure were lucky tho, to have a sweetheart like him as your boyfriend. Your one year annivercary was coming soon and you couldn't surprise wait to surprise him. You've been planning everything for weeks now and you made sure everything would be perfect. Well you had to share some of your plans with him, so that you could plan your day together but you still had major card up your sleeve and you were sure he would lose his mind when you showed it to him. Two days, you only had to wait for two days.

You couldn't help but sigh, you missed him so much. Even though you saw him two days ago it felt like centuries had passed. This boy made you feel so many so foreign emotions you were never sure you would get to or actually could experience. He always went above and beyond to make you feel like the most special and cherished person, and the fact that he also did so even before you two started dating each other. He was always so sweet and gentle with you. You always felt like a hero of a romance novel. Also you adored how being with him was so fun and exciting but at the same time bought peace to your heart and mind. You might be rushing into things but day by day, second by second you were convinced he was your soulmate, your other half.

A sudden buzzing of your phone startled you out of your daydream, you were curious who in their right mind was calling you at this hour.

Seeing the contact name had you even more confused. Why would Chan be calling you at 3 am? You knew the boys were out having fun night for themselves. Did something happen? You hoped he called you for other reasons, because it would really suck if their rare chance of having fun got ruined by something unplanned. You sure hoped everything was okay tho. Quickly as you could you grabbed your phone and answered it mentaly preparing yourself to hear anything Chan had to say.

Chan's call of your name bought you down to reality from another spiral of unnescesary thoughts.

"Hey Chan what's up?" You tried to sound as calm as you could.

Chan cleared his throat, "I'm sorry, did I wake you up?" You quickly denied it," no I'm awake, what's up? Is everything okay?"

Chan chuckled and it made you relax a little, so nothing bad had happened, "yeah, yeah everything's fine , nothing to worry about, it's just your boyfriend is getting a bit fussy." You couldn't help but mirror the last word, you heard Chan chuckle. "Yeah alcohol must've got to him. We were about to go home, but he refuses to cooperate. He says he wants to go at yours because he as he quotes "misses his baby so much he can't take it anymore!" He dragged the words mimicking your boyfriend, you couldn't help but chuckle.

"Where are you guys, I can come pick him up." You suggested while searching for your keys with your eyes.

"No, no it's okay, we can bring him at yours. Binnie and Han are with me too so I don't think it will be much trouble. I just couldn't knock some sense into him, I told him to call you but he said his phone died. At some point he even ran towards your house or that's what he thought I had to tackle him before he could get lost. I don't think he can tell left from right in this state" He paused for a second, you heard someone talking but you couldn't hear anything, " I'm getting off track sorry, so it's good to bring him at yours?" You were full on chuckling now, what a silly little man.

"Yeah, it's totally fine. I'm sorry he's being trouble."

"No it's fine, it's kinda endearing to see him this whipped. All he talked about was you and how amazing you are." Your cheeks hurt from smiling this wide, God, you loved that idiot. "Okay I won't bore you anymore, we'll be at yours soon."

"Okay I'm waiting."

After finishing the call you made sure you looked decent enough for your taste and that your apartment looked neat. You also prepared clothes for Hyunjin to change into from his drawer and some water and painkillers for tomorrow.

It didn't even take 20 minutes for the boys to arrive. The second you opened your door Hyunjin tackled you into a hug, almost knocking you over, thankfully Changbin and Chan caught you two before you could manage and break your necks. You giggled at your boyfriends eagerness, before frowning when you saw how swollen and red his eyes were. "What happened baby?" You cooed at him and moved his hair out of his face. Hyunjin sighed and hugged you again, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. You heard collective sigh of boys and turned your attention to them, looking at them with confused eyes, hoping they would tell you what was up.

Han decided to break the silence-"don't worry he was just bawling his eyes the whole ride, crying how amazing and perfect you were and how there is no one like you." He said and rolled his eyes, you huffed out a laugh, you knew he had nothing against you, but he must have had enough of this. Hyunjin frowned and glanced at him, his hold on you tightened, you were not sure if he felt possesive or just couldn't keep himself straight. "You're just bitter cuz you're single!" Hearing your boyfriends grumble Han's eyes widened and for a second you were afraid predebut Han would return. "Oh I'm gonna beat his ass!" Han leaned in but Changbin held him back by his collar, Changbins gaze then turned to you and you noticed how tired he seemed. "Good luck, he's your headache now."

Chan looked at you" Do you need any help with anything?" You smiled at him and shook your head. "I can handle him. Do you guys wanna come in tho? Do you want something to drink?" After hearing the last word you could see all three of them shiver.

"We're fine. It's late too we better head home." Chan reassured you after glancing at Changbin and Han for their opinion.

"Okay, thanks again for bringin him. Tell me when you're home, it's really late."

You said your goodbyes and turned to hyunjin who looked at you with dazed, sparkling eyes. "Let's get you settled pretty boy." You took his hand and started leading him towards your bedroom. Hyunjin eagerly followed you, you were amazed how pliant he was being, usually he loved being a brat but he must have been too tired now to act so.

After helping Hyunjin get ready for bed, you quickly got changed too and got in bed next to him. turning to him you noticed that he looked at you with wide eyes, nowhere near sleepy now. You leaned in and removed hair from his forehead, "I thought you were sleepy baby." Hyunjin looked at you for a second or two and opened his arms, "wanna cuddle." His words were slurred but you still got what he meant, you smiled and immediately snuggled next to him his arms finding solace around you. Based on how content he looked, if he could he would start purring any second now. How was he so cute and lovable? You knew you were whipped for him but you could swear he looked extra yummy right now.

You spent couple of minutes like this, and based on his even breathing you were sure he was asleep now, but you were proved wrong when he huffed while glaring at you and then changed sides so that you were now facing his back. To be honest you were a bit dumbfounded.

"What's wrong sweetie?" You couldn't help but pry, you had no idea what could've brought this behavior from him. Hyunjin just huffed. You sighed for yourself, you had got to use the big guns. You leaned in closer, amused at how he tried to get away from your touch, as if he had much space to run off to, and soon, not really to your surprise you had him trapped in the corner of your bed. You wrapped your hand around his stiff body and leaned in closer so that you could sweetly whisper against his ear. " Please tell me what's wrong my love" you dragged his nickname as sweetly as you could knowing it made him weak in the knees, and it did break through him. Hyunjin sighed and laid on his back, you glued next to him, his lips were pouted and his eyes a little bit glossy, you rubbed his side to ease him into talking .

"You don't love me" he whined quietly, you expected to hear anything but this from him if you were honest. You blinked at him confused, trying to gather your thoughts, you were both perplexed and also hollering from laughter inside. He was so ridiculous sometimes. You took a deep breath and moved your fingers to play with his soft locks, Hyunjin immediately leaned into the touch.

"My love, I love you so much I don't think you can even comprehend it! What brought this up?" Your voice was soft, you wanted him to know how sincere you were. Hyunjin sighed and put his hand on your waist, successfully bringing you closer to him, your fingers migrated and now were gently scratching his nape. Hyunjin hid his face in the crook of your neck and quietly grumbled "you didn't kiss me even once since I got here, we haven't seen each other in a while tho." No matter how hard you tried you couldn't hold it in and started cackling, this adorable as hell drama Queen! He had you worried for nothing! You even thought for a second you did something wrong.

Noticing your shaking figure, Hyunjin looked up at you with doe eyes, and his pout deepened when he saw you that you were wholeheartedly laughing. "Stop laughing I'm talking from my heart here!" His comment made you laugh even harder. "I should've gone home, you hates me" noticing how sad he sounded you got reminded that he was drunk as hell and was feeling more fragile, you wondered tho if he would remember any of this in the morning? Was it too late to grab a camera? Pouty Hyunjin was adorable.

"I'm sorry my love, you know I love you the most." Hyunjin rolled his eyes, and you knew he was playing with you, his eyes glimmered with mischief, well, two could play this game. You lowered your voice so you sounded almost sultry "Why don't you let me prove my sincerity to you then? Are you gonna let me?" You carefully watched as Hyunjin's eyes widened for a second, the big gulp and careful nod of his head.

This was all the permission you needed, you leaned in and carefully sealed your lips together, your boyfriend basically melted against you. You just loved how soft and pillowy his lips were, you always felt like you could kiss him for eternity.

The kiss started out soft, with you gently caressing his lips, his hand firm on your waist, holding you as if you were going to go away. Everything went quiet, you could only see, smell, taste, feel, hear him and so much more, he was the center of your universe. It was just you two right now, you didn't care about anything else. You had one goal only and you were dedicated. Everything about him was driving you crazy, you were sure he couldn't even grasp what, or how much you were feeling.

Your kisses quickly deepened and apart from gasping for air from time to time you two were inseparable, like two magnets pulling on each other.

The second Hyunjin leaned back for a second for some air, you decided to continue your little attack on his jaw, then his cheeks, absolutely loving the feel of his soft skin on your lips, then came his forehead, his eyelids, his beautiful nose, his chin, his neck... You wanted to cover every inch of him in kisses, to show appreciation to whichever god or gods crafted him, to show appreciation that this walking perfection was yours, his soft sighs and whines making you go even crazier.

You littered every part of skin you could reach with kisses until your lips were so numb and buzzing you got afraid they would fall off. Although, it didn't sound that bad, knowing the last thing they did was to kiss the Hwang Hyunjin senseless.

Looking at him, he looked at you with so much love and adoration, his face and neck all flushed, his breathing was quick and shallow,his hair all disheveled, his beautiful hands held you so tightly, your heart started fluttering all over again. He looked absolutely breathtaking, you wished you could engrave this moment into your mind for eternity. You smiled at him and softly grazed his cheek. "Are you satisfied with my answer my precious?" Your voice was soft, Hyunjin gleamed at you and eagerly nodded his head, and the next thing you knew you were on your back on the bed, Hyunjin above you, hugging you as tight as he could, his lips softly kissing your collarbone. "Absolutely, I love you so much beautiful, you have no idea" he pressed another kiss on your neck and then your lips with so much love and passion you just knew your feelings were returned with the same passion and vigor.

#stray kids #stray kids x reader #stray kids fluff #skz x reader #skz #stray kids imagines #skz fluff #skz imagines #stray kids scenarios #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin #hwang hyunjin x reader #hyunjin fanfic #hyunjin fluff #hyunjin imagine #hyunjin imagines #hyunjin scenarios #hyunjin skz #hyunjin stray kids #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin x you #stray kids hyunjin #skz hyunjin

[lowkeychenle]

Irrevocably [ZCL] (M)

Description: You were friends with benefits with Chenle until he got a girlfriend...fast forward months later, and now they've broken up--leaving Chenle to come back to you, very much in need of a distraction.

DID YOU MISS ME?! It's been so long someone should chop my hands off omg

Genre: Smut. Angst. Read at your own discretion!!! Read the warnings first please! It's mostly smut tho tbh

Also it's not proofread or anything crazy like that but I do hope y'all like it...I've been so busy sos

Content Warnings: Explicit, rough, unprotected sex (don't do the unprotected part), Chenle says pretty girl again (not sorry) and also slut because duality (again?), overstimulation, multiple orgasms (both), cum eating (like he actually eats his...own cum...), he's pretty pussy drunk in this he cums twice, Chenle is manipulative as hell in this!!! he is not a good guy in this fic!!! Do not read if you don't like it!!!!! Also I'm not sure if this can be considered infidelity but if you're sensitive to that topic read with caution!

Word Count: 4,877

Pairing: Zhong Chenle x Reader (mentions of Mark Lee x Reader)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Juliet's Masterlist | Requests

You can’t even say you haven’t heard from him in a while. That’s far from the truth—and in your opinion, maybe you hear from him too often. Your friendship was constructed long before any other aspect, but for as long as you could remember, it’s been you and Chenle.

Now there’s you, and there’s him. Inherently separate.

Your situation with him was simple—friends with benefits. And everything was working great at first, and the end wasn’t traumatic and the world didn’t crumble. You weren’t in love with each other, and you both mutually understood that the second someone has the potential to become more in one of your lives that you’d stop immediately.

So, when Chenle started talking to his now girlfriend, you did the right thing. The respectful thing. You backed off, and you wouldn’t say you regret it. He’s happy—happier than he was before, and that’s all you want for him. You’ve been friends for forever, after all, and what would that make you if you had ill wishes for him?

It was three months after he started dating his girlfriend that he introduced you to one of his friends, Mark. Fortunately, you got along with him well, and he gave you a much needed distraction from the empty void Chenle had left in your life. He’d been more than sex, but less than love. He gave you company and companionship, even if it was in an unconventional way.

You’d been up front and honest with Mark about your relationship with Chenle, but he didn’t mind as long as you were sure there hadn’t been feelings involved. For Chenle, you weren’t sure if he ever told his girlfriend about you. You wouldn’t blame him if he hadn’t, but considering you’d been sleeping together up until their first date, it might have been a good thing to mention.

The difference was simple—you and Mark weren’t anything, not really, but Chenle and his girlfriend were, in their words, serious. In fact, in the past four months, you hadn’t even slept with Mark. The most he was at this point was someone to keep you company.

And then everything blew up.

Chenle called you at 9 p.m., almost nine months after he started dating his girlfriend. You were in your apartment by yourself, watching the same TV show for the 70th time. You stare at your phone screen in confusion before you answer it.

“Hey,”

“Hey.” He lets out a breath, and the defeat in his voice hints something’s wrong.

“Everything okay?” you ask him, sitting up on your couch.

“We broke up.” Chenle pauses, maybe to contemplate what he says next. “Can I come see you? I know it’s random, and I probably shouldn’t, but to be bluntly fucking honest, I’ve missed you.”

“We talk all the time,” you mention and cradle your knees to your chest. 

The thought of allowing Chenle here so late scares you—old habits die hard. You feel like you owe more than that to both Mark and Chenle. Mark, because while you two aren’t together, you’ve grown quite close over the past few months. Chenle, because he’s probably not thinking straight at the moment.

“You’re the only one I can talk to about this,” he mumbles.

Your heart sinks. “It was because of me?”

“I…Not exactly. It wasn’t you at all. It was us. And it was me for not saying anything.” He sighs, and you envision the way he tugs his fingers through his hair.

“You never told her?”

“I didn’t think I needed to,” he says. “What am I supposed to say? ‘Oh, hey, by the way, I used to fuck one of my closest friends on the regular, but now that you’re here, I stopped.’ That doesn’t sound great.”

“Better than her finding out some other way.” You chew on your bottom lip. “I told Mark.”

“That’s different,” Chenle replies. “You’re not dating Mark.”

A moment of silence passes between you two, and when you don’t respond, he clears his throat.

“Oh. You are.”

“It’s not like that.”

“So, what is it like? Is it like what we were?” He sounds shorter, as if he’s no longer enjoying the conversation.

You scoff. “It’s none of your business, Chenle. Mark is nice. And you’re the one who introduced us anyway.”

“Mark is nice,” he repeats, snorting. “You act like I don’t know you. Nice isn’t exactly your type.”

“You can come here if you stop being a dick,” you tell him. “But we’re only talking.”

“Good. I’ve got a lot to say.”

You debate changing after he hangs up, but Chenle’s already seen you at your worst. Your shorts and T-shirt won’t faze him in the slightest. Nerves like this haven’t swarmed you since the first time you slept with him. Clearly, your body doesn’t get the memo that this isn’t a booty call.

And when he arrives, you realize how well he fits. The dim, golden lighting reflecting off of his skin, the dark, oversized clothes he likes to wear, the way his hair is parted. Everything about him is exactly as you remember. It’s odd to think that way, because really, you’ve seen him as often as you used to. Things were just…different.

And under these circumstances, it’s awkward. But even when he was dating his girlfriend, there were times where the two of you were alone—nothing ever happened, of course, but it hadn’t ever been so nerve wracking until now.

It isn’t for long, though. Within seconds of your thoughts running wild, he’s closing the distance between you and pulling you into a tight hug. You exhale in relief and return the gesture with no hesitation. He takes a deep breath, almost as if he’s inhaling your scent.

Something about this hurts. Your ribcage suddenly feels like a prison, and all you want is for your heart to be free. Why does it feel like something’s stabbing it?

“I’m sorry for asking to come over so late,” he whispers. “And for being a dick about Mark. It’s not my business.”

There’s a twist deep in your chest. You wonder if there’s truly anything left in there.

“It’s okay, Le.” Your voice is muffled by his shirt. “Let’s sit and you can tell me what happened.”

You move away from him, lightly grabbing his hand to lead him over to your couch. When you’re both seated, he rests his head on your shoulder. You reach up to play with his hair, and instinct you became familiar with when he needed comfort back when you two were messing around.

“She asked about you.” His fingers toy with yours, warm touch gently grazing your skin. “Really, I had no idea what to say. There isn’t much to say, you know? So, that’s what I said. I told her we’ve been friends for forever and…that’s it.”

“Technically not wrong.” You chuckle, but the ache within you only grows.

“I went to shower and when I got out, she was going through my phone. By the time I realized what she was doing, she’d already found more than enough to be pissed.”

“What was it?”

“Pictures. In our text conversations from like…almost a year ago. I get why she was upset, you know? But it’s not like they were recent. Or even in my camera roll, for fuck’s sake.” He shuffles a bit closer, his warmth pressing into you. “But I should’ve checked and made sure. Or something. So, I’m sorry someone else saw those, (Y/N).”

“Did I look good at least?” you joke.

“Oh, fuck off.” He laughs, shaking his head. “You always look good and you know it.”

You get a sudden, overwhelming urge to look at him. His words make your stomach turn, and you’re desperate to figure out what the hell is going on with you.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” He ponders for a moment. “I thought I’d be a little more upset, but the only thing I was really thinking about was coming to see you.”

Chenle sits up, eyebrows slightly furrowed as he takes you in. His gentle brown eyes trail over you, unrecognizable emotions swimming around in his irises. You find him still as extraordinary as ever. His features so sharp, lips perfectly full. You fight the craving to reach out and trace his jawline.

“It’s just…” he murmurs. “It just always comes back to you, doesn’t it?”

“Chenle…”

“It’s been so long,” he continues. “Since I’ve seen you like this.”

“We hung out all the time.”

“No. Not like this. I know why you did, but you got so distant from me. Didn’t you ever think about me? That whole time?” He wets his lips.

“How could you ask me that?” you breathe out. “I thought about you all the time, but you weren’t mine to think about.”

“When I thought of you, it used to hurt. I used to have to distract myself from you because it was wrong to want you when I had everything else.” His gaze flicks down to your lips, and you feel every ounce of you crumble to pieces.

“It’s not…wrong anymore,” you say.

His eyes flutter shut, eyelashes brushing against his cheeks, and the next thing you know, his mouth is on yours. You let out a shaky breath against him, but quickly reciprocate what he gives you. All hesitation is out the window now, all thoughts of him being too upset at a moment like this fly from your brain.

It’s Chenle. He’s kissing you. This is familiar. Right, even.

“God, it’s been too long.” He reaches up to cup your cheek, thumb rubbing your skin. “Need you, baby. Never wanna lose you like that again.”

Your heart is beating so fast, you’re not exactly sure how to respond to that. The longer you take in every word leaving his mouth, the quicker you realize what’s happening to you.

You haven’t slept with Mark because you do have feelings for Chenle. It hits you like a freight train, and the fear sinks in only for a second before you slam your lips back to his. Being with him like this feels good, like nothing could go wrong.

The quietest moan slips from his mouth into yours, and just like it used to, heat floods your core. His hand slips beneath your shirt, his scalding touch trailing across your side before settling on the small of your back.

You pull away from him and gently push against his chest. “Do you even know what you’re doing right now?”

“Need a distraction.” He swallows hard. “That’s what we are for each other right? She’s out of the picture, so I get to have you again?”

You shake your head. “Only when we’re both available. Not just you.”

“Did you fuck him?” Chenle tone drops, a dark hint of jealousy gracing those narrowed brown eyes. One of his hands drops down to your thigh, tracing along the hem of your shorts. “Is that why you don’t want me anymore? He’s better or something?”

You let out a shaky breath. “I—Chenle, I haven’t.”

Wetting his lips, his touch trails higher, his skin burning against yours in the best way. “Don’t you miss me? Or at least the way I made you feel? When’s the last time someone made you cum?”

He notices when your legs press together, desperate for any sort of friction between them. You’re fighting every urge you have, wanting nothing more than to have Chenle right here on your couch, but something holds you back.

Leaning closer, he hums lowly in your ear, “You know what I can do.” His lips press against the spot below your ear, slowly heading down until his tongue runs along your pulse.

“Damn it,” you groan, pushing him back. “Take your pants off.”

As you stand up to push your shorts and panties to the floor, he lifts his hips to push his sweats to down his legs. He reaches into his boxers and strokes himself slowly.

“C’mon, baby.” He smirks at you. “Sit on it.”

You straddle his lap, bracing your hands on his shoulders as he pulls his cock out. One hand grips your hip and he holds you above him.

“Do we need a condom?” he asks, gaze glazed with want.

“I haven’t slept with anyone,” you mutter, face heating up for more reasons than one.

“It was just…” he trails off and gulps. “You know. I’m clean.”

The idea of him with her is almost enough to snap you out of it, but the last thing you plan on doing is getting off his lap. You ignore the sting of your heart and instead trade it for the sting of your walls stretching to accommodate Chenle with no prep. Whining at the pain, you stop after a couple inches.

“S’okay, baby,” he encourages you. “Take it slow.”

You dig your nails into his shoulders, lifting up before sinking back down to take a bit more of him than the last time. He breathes heavily, biting down on his bottom lip while his chest heaves.

“Just a little more.” Chenle slowly pulls you closer until he’s fully seated inside you.

The stretch has your legs shaking, whimpers escaping you as he whispers praises to you.

“Such a good girl,” he coos. “Letting me fill this pretty pussy with my cock.”

Chenle tugs your shirt over your head, freeing your bare breasts. He lets out a small sound at the sight before leaning down to kiss them, teeth nipping and tongue flicking your nipple.

Unable to hold back anymore, you push him back harshly. His lips part as you grind, sweet moans escaping him at the same time yours do.

“So tight,” he groans. “You waited ‘cause you knew no one else could do this to you, huh?”

“Shut up,” you command him.

His eyebrows raise for the briefest moment, until you start bouncing on his cock. Wetness starts squelching around the two of you, aiding you in your quick movements on top of him.

“Yeah, that’s it, baby.” Chenle thrusts up to match you, hands trailing around your body to squeeze your ass harshly. A slap comes next, the sound resounding through the room.

Your hips jolt, thrown off your rhythm at the stinging sensation on your skin. Nails leaving angry, red crescent moons in his skin, you rock back and forth to stabilize yourself before continuing. The sound of your arousal would embarrass you under any other circumstances, but the fucked out expression on Chenle’s face is enough to keep you going.

You don’t hold back your moans, letting the needs of your body take over instead of whatever the hell is going on in your head. He feels so fucking good inside you, the rough slide of his length against your walls, the way he throbs with want for you. The twitch of his cock inside you has a knot tightening in your stomach.

“Look at me,” he says roughly.

You don’t bother listening, too focused on your own pleasure to justify stopping.

“I said fucking look at me.” He grabs your face, pulling you close so you're inches away from him, hooded, hazy brown eyes devouring you. “Keep fucking yourself on my cock.”

You let out a weak moan, legs aching as you continue, but you know you need more. Trying to grind down, you do whatever you can to get friction on your clit. Whines slip past your lips, with the mind-shattering high just out of reach.

“Use your words, pretty girl.” Chenle slaps your ass again.

“Close,” you practically whimper. “Touch me. Fuck, please.”

Immediately, he lets go of his harsh grip on your cheeks, reaching between you two and quickly finding your clit. Your nails scratch down his shoulders, leaving marks as his fast circles push you over the edge.

You scream out in pleasure, your vision blacking out as you’re swept up in your climax. Crumpling into him, you squirm on top of him until he wraps his arm around your waist, warm seed coating your insides.

His chest heaves, lips parting as he rests his head back on the couch cushion. He gulps and strokes your hair while still slowly rocking up into you. You finally work up the energy to get off of him, but he holds you down.

“No,” he murmurs, breathless. “Not yet. Not done.”

Your body heats all over again, the idea of another round sends tingle down your spine. Goosebumps form on your skin, but you listen. Something has to make up for the lost time between you two.

“Need you again.” He nips where your neck and shoulder connects. “Can I take you to your room?”

You nod, unable to speak. He lifts you deftly from the couch, carefully walking over to your room like he’s done hundreds of times before. You hold onto him desperately, never wanting to let him go for more reasons than one.

As soon as you’re both on your bed, he’s already beginning to thrust again. You dig your nails into his back, but he grabs both of your wrists and pins them above your head.

“Be good,” he warns, filling you up over and over, ever so slowly. “Little pussy’s so greedy, sucking me in like this.”

Your eyes roll back in your head, the weight of him on top of you making you whine until your throat’s raw.

Every nerve-ending is on edge from your previous high, skin tingling and burning wherever his fingers trace shapes on you. You can barely keep your eyes open, the gentle brush of his chest against yours has your weak-minded state reading into this much more than you should.

If you could form actual words, you’d probably accidentally confess to him. He works through his own overstimulation, his jaw clenched tightly as he works your body expertly.

“I missed you,” he whispers, dipping his head down to nip along your neck. “Did you miss me?”

“Yes,” you force out, barely able to muster up the words. “God, yes.”

He hums, tonguing along the pulse in your neck. “You didn’t fuck him ‘cause he can’t make you feel like this, can he?”

You want to be mad at him for bringing Mark up at a time like this, but his words only make you shiver. He’s right. You can’t be mad at him when he’s right, and certainly not when your brain is fuzzy with the pleasure of his cock rubbing so, so slowly against your inner walls. Nobody could ever fill you like Chenle does.

“Answer me.” He thrusts particularly hard, jolting you up the mattress.

“Fuck, he can’t make me feel like you do.” You’re not entirely sure if your words are coherent, but Chenle seems satisfied by what you said.

“And you’d better remember that, too.” He releases your wrists and reaches between you two, resuming circles on your clit. “Could fuck you all night. You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Getting your cunt filled with my cum as many times as you can handle?”

You wrap your legs around his waist in a desperate attempt to keep him close, the angle allowing him slightly deeper inside you. Between the delicious stretch of your walls and the uniform, skilled rubbing on your sensitive bud, your body shudders uncontrollably. Your back arches and your hands fly to his hair, loud, obscene moans pouring from your lips.

Chenle’s thrusts pick up as he helps you ride out your high, eyebrows furrowed as he tries to keep his steady pace. He slows to a stop, sweat making his hair stick to his forehead, he kisses you, tongue already slipping past your lips to dominate your mouth the same way he’s dominated the rest of you.

“Think you can get on all fours for me?” he asks, his breath fanning across your face.

“Again?”

“Please, baby, I’m close already, just need a little more.” He presses kisses on your cheeks and the tip of your nose. “I need it so bad.”

You nod, shakily removing your legs from around his waist. He guides you to the position he wants, your head resting on the mattress as he squeezes your ass.

“You’re still so fucking wet,” he groans, a slap resonating around the room. “Might wanna hold on, pretty girl. I’m not going easy on you.”

Despite being an absolute rag doll, you clench in excitement at the idea of having him inside you again. You push back toward him, urging him to fuck you. He uses his knee to nudge your legs apart, and even though they’re shaking, you plan on letting him pound into you until they fucking give out.

He runs the head up and down your folds, switching between barely pushing his tip inside and tapping it on your clit.

“God, I can’t fucking take this anymore,” Chenle growls, and the next thing you know, he’s thrusting inside you with as much force as he can. You scream, gripping onto the sheets and biting down on a pillow to attempt to silence yourself.

With all the stimulation, you feel constantly on the edge of another orgasm. His hips slap against your ass, the clapping sounds emphasizing your pleasure. Squelches of wetness float around too, the stickiness dripping down your thighs onto the bed the longer he has you in this position.

He shifts slightly so his balls smack your twitching clit with every thrust. You’re barely able to think straight, and you’re half-sure you’re drooling, but Chenle slams you into your third orgasm of the night rather easily. Your legs threaten to buckle, and he loops his arm around you to keep you up.

After a couple more thrusts, he moans loudly and spills deep inside you, chest heaving at the effort. Both of you wait in silence for a few moments, him to regain composure and you to remember how to breathe. He gently pulls out of you, turning you to drop your back down on the mattress. Once he gets out of bed, he stops in front of you and pulls you to the edge by your ankles. Nudging your legs apart, he sinks down to his knees.

“What are you doing?” you ask, rising up to your shaky elbows.

“Need a taste,” he says, mesmerized by the mess leaking out of your entrance. Swiping some of it up on his finger, he offers it to you. “Taste us, pretty girl. We’re so good together.”

You lean closer and wrap your lips around him, giving a harsh suck before you release him.

“God, baby, your pussy is so perfect when you’re leaking my cum.”

You’re not expecting him to move forward and flatten his tongue against your core. He holds your hips down to the bed, tentatively licking your slit. Without much effort from him, he’s reduced you to a mewling mess again, core throbbing with sensitivity even when he barely touches you. Your arms immediately give out, slumping you back onto the sheets as he works your core with his tongue.

It’s odd how much the idea of him eating you out when he came inside you turns you on. As limp as your body is, you relish in all of the pleasure he’s willing to give you. His tongue dances around your slit, alternating between slipping it between your folds and flicking your clit. You lazily tangle your fingers in his hair, tugging just enough for him to moan against you.

Your hips jerk when his lips wrap around your bud, and next thing you know, his hands hold you down. You call out his name, pulling with the grip you have on his hair to tell him you’re much too sensitive to continue.

“I know, baby,” he murmurs, blowing cold air on you. “Just a little bit more, okay? One more time.”

And then he’s back at the apex of your thighs, working much faster and harsher with his movements to get you to the edge faster. You shatter all over again, a mantra of noises passing by your lips as your thighs clench around his head.

You must actually black out for a moment, because when you come to, Chenle has pulled away from your core, his lips and chin coated with your arousal. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, his expression equally as exhausted as yours.

He grabs a towel to clean you up, but both of you are beyond tired from all the activity. You shift up on your bed, not bothering to say anything else to him as you slide beneath your blanket. When you and Chenle did things before, he always stayed. He always pulled you into his chest and whispered sweet nothings into your ear until you fell asleep.

You’re not sure if that will be the case today.

Except he does. He carefully crawls into bed next to you, turning you toward him and pulling you to him. Kissing the top of your head, he taps his fingers against your arm.

“I really missed you,” he says.

“Me, too.” You nod, but something makes your heart twist in your chest.

“Can I be honest for a second?”

“Of course.”

“I knew the pictures were there,” he whispers. “Maybe it’s shitty, but I couldn’t delete them. Sometimes, I looked back at our old conversations—not the sexual ones—and just…thought of you. I couldn’t do anything to erase you and what we did from my life. I didn’t want to.”

You wonder if that’s his idea of a confession. If he’s trying to tell you he has unresolved feelings for you.

“Then why did you stay with her?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugs. “Everyone liked her. My mom told me she thought I’d end up marrying her. She obviously didn’t know about…this. But I couldn’t fucking stop, (Y/N). Everything came back to you.”

“We’ll talk about this in the morning,” you offer. “I’m exhausted.”

“Yeah…” Chenle takes a deep breath. “Yeah. Let’s talk in the morning.”

You and Chenle wake at the same time, to the sound of his phone on the bedside table. Groaning, you massage your forehead and turn away from him. When he answers it, your interest is piqued.

“Hey.” Sleep still weighs on his voice, making it scratchy. “No, I’m not at home.”

There’s a pause, and the vague sound of the other person responding makes your heart twist violently in your chest. It’s her.

“Would you stop jumping to conclusions? I’m at Jisung’s.” Irritation laces in his tone.

You should say something. Let her know somehow that he’s lying, but you don’t. You stay silent in your hurt and wait to see what he could possibly do next.

“Yeah, forgive me for not wanting to be alone after what happened.” Chenle scoffs and runs his fingers through his hair. A sigh follows. “Damn it, I told you that was done. I’m sorry you saw those, okay? They’re from…over a year ago. It didn’t seem relevant to bring it up, and she’s still my friend, so.”

Friend. You almost laugh out loud, but again, you don’t say a word.

“Yeah, of course. Where?”

Another pause from Chenle.

“Yeah, I’ll stop by my house and then I’ll be over there. I’ll see you in half an hour?”

Your heart feels like it’s being shredded into a thousand tiny pieces.

“Thank you.” He sighs, his body deflating. “I’m so sorry for all of this, you know that, right? I’ll see you soon. I love you.”

Tears sting your eyes, and as soon as he hangs up the phone, he hops up to go grab his clothes from the living room. You sit up in your bed, blanket clutched to your chest as you watch him scramble to get dressed.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N), I have to go,” he says, walking back into your room. Leaning in, he attempts to press a kiss to your lips. You turn away from him, chewing the inside of your cheek.

“Where are you going?” you ask, even though you already know the answer.

“She…She wants to talk it out. And I have to go. You understand why, right?” His eyes widen as he scans over your face.

When you say nothing, he sighs.

“I’ll text you later. You can answer or not. Whatever you want to do.” He walks toward the door to your bedroom, but you stop him when he reaches the threshold.

Your eyes sting, your body’s sore, and all you wanted was to tell him the truth this morning. Now it’s clear to you—he’ll never feel the same way for you. He’ll drop anything and everything—you included—if it meant getting her back.

“Chenle.”

He stops, turning to you.

“She’s going to make you choose,” you warn him. “Between her and me.”

Chenle pauses, fingertips gripping the frame. “I know.”

With that, you have nothing else to say, and he wouldn’t have time to hear it anyway. He leaves without another word to you, and when he’s far enough away, your tears finally fall. You want to scream and yell, but your throat is too raw from the long night before to even attempt it.

#nct #nct dream #chenle #nct imagines #nct dream smut #nct scenarios #zhong chenle #chenle x reader #chenle angst #chenle fluff #chenle smut #nct smut #nct angst

[woniverse-writes]

Okay so like I have this something in my mind and I badly want to break it free. It goes like this— Howl has a little sister who obviously is straight as a fkcing ruler, and HowL and Bada are dating, but the thing here is— bada is never like howl but to his little sister. And Bada tried to make the little sister to like her and well Idk what to do with howl anymore. Omg, ik, ik its sounds so bad 😭 but I really wanted to read this kind of plot. Hehe well, I do hope u consider this <3 btw I love MTF, I love simp bada heuehehehehheeh 💖💖 im so excited for the next part. (Sorry my english is bad 🥲)

this is fucking genius... i'm so seated. (also, no need to apologize! you did extremely well!! <3) also- this is my first request so i'm actually so excited, thank you love🥺🫶

"The King"

bada lee x fem!reader

summary: you've spent your entire life getting fucked over by stupid boys who don't know how to treat you. it's not that you're pretentious or think you're too good for them (even though you definitely are), they just never seem to be able to meet your standards. when your older brother's new girlfriend starts coming around more, you can't help but wish you had what they had- until she starts paying more attention to you and now you're just confused

word count: 10.5k

warnings: heavily suggestive, mentions of nsfw, making out, cheating, mentions of alcohol, not proofread

notes: listen to "the king" by conan gray😩🤞 reader is described as petite and girly, reader is also a total brat (with some slightly internalized issues lol), also- this is like- lowkey one-sided enemies to lovers for a hot sec lol

Getting fucked over by stupid boys who don’t deserve you is practically a right of passage for young girls. But it’s especially easy to develop such high standards when you have someone in your life who treats you so well. As for y/n, this person is her loving older brother, Howl. He's always spoiled her and been a great big brother making sure she never settles for shitty guys, which has caused her to be super picky and have insanely high standards

So when he starts dating Bada, y/n is a little jealous at first at the lack of attention. Then he starts bringing her around more and y/n can't help but wish she had their relationship. And whenever Howl always invites her to hang out with them, she's kind of conflicted because yeah she wants to be around her brother and have his attention again, but she also just feels strange around Bada. Not even in a jealous way though- it's like- Bada is so nice to her and she kinda hates it lol. Not actually though, she just hates how it makes her feel.

Bada on the other hand LOVES the idea of hanging out with y/n. Any time Howl asks if she's okay with his sister coming along, she agrees without hesitation. See- Bada has taken a liking to y/n from the moment she met her. Or saw her rather, because it wasn't really an official meeting

The first time Bada had seen y/n, she was teaching a class in which Howl had been in attendance. Her now boyfriend had taken a phone call during one of their breaks, giving directions to his current location, and a few seconds later a younger girl showed up looking slightly annoyed. Howl smiled brightly and wrapped her in a hug, squeezing her until she was whining and complaining to be let go of. Bada was curious, as Howl had taken a few of her classes before, and she had taken a few of his, but she'd never seen this girl before. Was she his girlfriend? Bada scanned her over, noticing her chunky patent leather heels, denim mini skirt, white thigh-high stocking, and glittering lip gloss. There's so way she was a dancer, at least not a dancer that went here, Bada thought. She would've for sure remembered the curve of her waist or at least her plum lips. Who was this girl?

Meanwhile- Howl was bust harassing his sister who was kind enough to drop off his street clothes that he forgot at home on her way to meet with someone

"so now where are you off to? Another date?" he teased and poked her to which she grimaced and moved out of the way

"if you must know, yes I am on my way to another date" She crossed her arms and turned her chin up, closing her eyes and huffing. Her brother rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Just be careful please, I really don't like how easily you just go about meeting a new guy every few weeks," he said in a very much concerned brotherly tone

"oh so you think I'm a slut now" y/n accuses staring into Howl's soul, eyes like lasers as she waits for his response

"no- y/n what? No! no, I never said that- it's just- ugh, guys are assholes, you know this! Maybe it's just time to take a break for the partner searching and just focus on yourself?" he tries to calm her down and she surprisingly understands, still rolling her eyes and sighing, but understanding

"I know… I'm still going on this date though. I got all dressed up and plus that's just rude to cancel last minute." she huffs and pouts, causing her brother to laugh and reach out to ruffle her hair, which she immediately squawks in protest, grabbing his wrist and holding it away from her neatly done hairstyle.

"oh my sweet little devil of a sister, go give of 'em hell" he pats her on the shoulder then brings her in for a tight squeeze, before telling her to be safe and text him when she's there, when she's leaving, and when she gets home. All to which y/n smiles and agrees while exiting the studio

Now- Bada has just watched this whole interaction go down. She heard almost every word, but her attention was piqued from the moment Howl had mentioned the girl going on a date, or rather another date

'So they aren't dating'… she thought to herself, trying to be discreet as she stood in the doorway to the studio. She felt even more interested when he referred to the same girl as his little sister. She was pretty and petite, definitely girly, but something about her style and the way she accessorized seemed too self-indulgent to be aimed towards appealing to any male.

That was over a year and a half ago- Bada and Howl have been dating for a few months now. Bada had made the first move to get to know each other after that class when y/n had showed up. She hadn't explained her motives or that she was interested in his sister, but Bada let Howl know she was interested in becoming good friends with him. This eventually turned into him flirting with her and her laughing it off, but apparently, he took that as her being interested. The first time Howl had asked her out, she politely declined, but the second time- she realized that if she started dating Howl, maybe she'd get closer to y/n, so she agreed. Bada had fun but wasn't necessarily looking to date Howl. She did find him attractive and thought he could be a really good boyfriend, but she just wasn't interested.

Yet here they are four months later, still happily together. Well- sort of

Bada still couldn't get herself to fall in love with him- and even though it was still pretty early, she had felt awful, wanting to break things off, but she didn't want to lose his friendship. or even more so- lose her little interactions with y/n, who seemed to have something against her even though the older girl had been nothing but kind and welcoming to her. It didn't make Bada upset or hurt her feelings, it actually made her more attracted to the younger girl, curious as to what the reason was for her distaste towards her.

They go out, the three of them and they've gone out together before but y/n has always been quiet and reserved, and tbh kinda cold towards both Howl and Bada. Howl doesn't get it- like- he's totally clueless. And y/n just convinces herself that she doesn't like Bada. And Bada isn't determined to get y/n to like her like she's not desperate for it, but she does want to understand why she acts like that.

So on this one day, they go out, y/n is actually in a pretty good mood, she's dressed super cute, and she's actually being really nice to Bada. Which shocks everyone, even y/n, but she's kinda like "hmm maybe I was just being an asshole, she's not so bad" and then bam- gay awakening.

Bada's messing around with y/n and y/n starts being all touchy and stuff and Bada's like- omfg she's so cute I wanna squeeze her. The two girls are totally ignoring howl, and he’s just happy they’re getting along. Then Bada goes- 

"I should just break up with your brother and date you" in a teasing voice while squishing y/n's cheeks in one of her large hands, then throwing her arms around the younger girl's shoulder. y/n just laughs awkwardly but Bada isn't paying attention. The younger girl quickly reverted back to quiet and reserved but not necessarily cold and mean

The next incident that really solidified Bada not being interested in Howl was when they were coming home from a night out, both a little drunk, kissing in the back of the cab they were taking back to Bada's place. Howl had gotten a text from y/n asking him to pick her up from some party she was at, so they asked the driver to take them to the address she had sent instead

When they arrived in front of the house where y/n was currently partying, Howl sent her a text and she came stumbling out a few minutes later. He got out of the car to help the younger girl into the back seat, having her scoot in to sit in the middle beside Bada.

While Howl was still outside of the car, giving the driver new directions through the window, y/n had leaned herself against the leather of the car seat, with her head back. She was breathing heavily and Bada couldn't help but blush at the girl. Y/n's face was flushed and she was slightly sweaty- probably from dancing and drinking- and since her head was thrown back, her hair was exposing her bare neck- which in Bada's slightly intoxicated mind, would look so good covered in hickeys and bite marks. y/n turns her head a little and slightly opens her eyes, meeting Bada's. She starts giggling and reaches out for the older girl's hand.

"Unnie…" she starts, looking up at Bad with bedroom eyes, still giggling slightly. Bada just about stops breathing- y/n's never called her that, always keeping things super formal or the exact opposite and just forgoing honorifics altogether. The older girl smiles slightly and hums

" I just had the best sex ever- well probably not ever, cuz it was with a guy… but for a guy he wasn't too bad!" the younger girl whispers with expressive eyes and starts giggling again, leaving Bada pouting and furrowing her brows

"did you know this guy?" she asked in return, not happy with the new information. y/n hums, looking to the side, searching for an answer

"hmm I don't think so" she finally expresses, as if it were nothing. Bada sighs and turns her head to look out the window.

"you shouldn't be going around fucking random guys y/n" the older girl huffs and leans her head on her hand. She feels y/n's chin on her shoulder, looking over to see the girl right in her face.

"well then you should've been there to keep me company" the younger teases with a small smirk and mischievous eyes, before turning her head to rest fully on Bada's shoulder, falling asleep almost instantly.

When they get back to Howl and Y/n's house, they wake Y/n up and make sure she gets to her room fine. Howl insists on leaving her how she is, but Bada wants to make sure she falls asleep comfortably. So she helps the younger girl change but it's proven to be more difficult than expected.

"can I help you get changed?" Bada asks in a soft voice, just loud enough for y/n to hear but maybe not process entirely. She hums and nods her head slightly, eyes focused on the older woman in front of her. Bada comes to sit behind y/n on her bed, moves the girl's hair over her shoulder then goes to unzip the back of her dress. y/n sighs and tilts her head to the side, closing her eyes.

"This is so bad" the younger girl whispers in a daze seemingly to herself. Bada still a little tipsy but not nearly as bad as the girl in front of her, pulls one strap down her arm then the other, then slides the dress down y/n's front half. She stands up and comes back around to stand in front of y/n who opens her eyes and stares up at Bada like she's ready to be taken in any way shape or form. Bada tucks a piece of hair behind her ear, then caresses the younger girl's face, until she decides to keep her hand placed by her jaw, holding the girl's face gently. y/n's face is burning red, probably a mix of the alcohol and lust she's feeling at the present moment. She closes her eyes and begins to nuzzle her head against Bada's hand, leaning into the older girl's palm.

"you're so warm…" she mumbles, eyes still closed, breathing getting slightly heavier again. Bada's breath catches in her throat as she removes her hand.

"let's finish getting you changed" She pulls her to stand up and as the older girl continues to remove the other dress, the younger continues to sigh and sway. Bada kneels down for a second to pull the dress out from underneath y/n, tapping her ankle gently to get her to step out of the dress. Instead, the younger of the two takes the opportunity to place her hand atop Bada's head, caressing her hair. Bada looks up at the contact and is met with the stare of an intoxicated and horny young woman, who's definitely not thinking about how nice it would be to have the older girl's head between her thighs.

Y/n sits back on the bed and lifts her feet out of the dress, placing them both back on the ground, spread a bit apart leaving plenty of room in between her legs. Bada may as well have had just as much to drink as y/n did because she is nowhere near thinking clearly at this moment. She tosses the dress somewhere away to the side, before crawling to sit in between the smaller girl's legs. Bada places her hands on both of y/n's thighs and begins to rub circles on them. She moves her hands up to caress the girl's bare waist, grazing over her stomach and back as she does so.

"you really need to go to bed y/n-ie" Bada softly states, looking up at her. 'Wow' Bada thinks. This is something she could definitely get used to. Having y/n's pretty eyes looking down at her from in between her thighs, no clothes… sounds like a dream to Bada. A dream that she was quickly woken up from as a knock is made on the door.

"hang on- we're still changing." the oldest girl speaks just loud enough to be heard through the door. She stands up, now looking down at y/n before caressing her cheek again. The girl doesn't move this time, looking like she's ready to fall asleep. Bada turns to grab a t-shirt for y/n and tells her to put it on, which she does. Afterward, she lays her down in her bed and pulls the covers over her. y/n's practically asleep the second her head hits the pulling, and Bada can't help but smile. She kisses her forehead and blushes, not realizing what she did until afterward.

As she exits y/n's room Bada is only thinking of one thing- She is one hundred percent sure she isn't attracted to her boyfriend but to his younger sister instead

 ________

One night while Bada and Howl were in the living room of his and y/n's house, cuddled up on the couch watching a movie, the young girl had come strutting down the steps in a pair of red velvet heels sporting a dainty black dress. Both of their heads turned in her direction, the two reacting in very different ways.

Bada's mouth slightly falls open, her eyes glazing over as she can't help but stare at the younger girl and think of how perfectly the dress hugs her upper half and becomes flowy towards the bottoms, accentuating her curves in such an unexplainable way. She's silent as y/n runs a hand through her hair and continues to stride past the two into the kitchen.

Howl on the other hand- bursts out laughing after a few moments in silent shock. Both Bada and y/n whip their heads in his direction with wide eyes

"what the hell are you wearing??" he asks her, still dying laughing. y/n's already baffled face turns into one of annoyance and almost disgust. She scoffs and turns back around, completely ignoring him and continuing to pour herself a glass of water. Bada smacks him lightly on the chest and he looks back at her with wide eyes, still trying to calm down

"What?" he asks still laughing slightly

"Leave her alone… she looks nice" the older girl defends, still staring in y/n's direction. The girl in the kitchen hears this and feels her face get hot. She hates when Bada compliments her, it makes her feel guilty and hot and she just hates it. y/n clenches her jaw and grabs her water, walking past them again to head back up to her room to finish getting ready.

"she's been a lot more irritable lately… I don't know what's up with her" Howl states confused, looking a little distraught.

"Maybe you should go talk to her… she probably just misses you." Bada tries to comfort him. Even though she struggles to harness any real romantic feelings for him, the older girl still truly cares about Howl as a close friend. He nods stands up and heads up the stairs toward the young girl's room. He knocks on her door frame, as her door is only slightly closed, yet he still wants to make sure he's welcome before barging in on his easy-to-rage sister. She sighs and softly lets out a "come in" not bothering to look away from her vanity mirror, still applying her makeup. Howl opens the door the rest of the way and steps in, standing a little bit past her doorway

"so…" he starts looking around her room before meeting her eyes in the mirror. "where are you off tonight? I thought you weren't going on any more dates for a while-" y/n cuts him off with a sigh.

"It's not a date, just a party." she calmly explains with just a tinge of irritation, like she's exhausted by the conversation. Howl just nods, feeling awkward not knowing what to say to her. He's always been able to have comfortable conversations with his sister, especially about her love and social life, so why does it suddenly feel impossible? He took a deep breath,

"I just wanted to check on you… I feel like we haven't had a real conversation lately and I'm just worried about you" Howl expresses, watching her through the mirror. She pauses in the middle of lining her lips and meets his eyes with a somewhat guilty expression, before sighing and looking down at her desk

"I'm fine. I promise. Just irritated with everything lately." y/n busies herself with the jewelry she has lying around, trying to make it seem like she's picking out what she's going to wear. Howl nods and purses his lips, he walks behind her chair and places his hands on the back of it, still looking at her through the mirror.

"well please talk to me about it, I want to help if I can. And plus I miss our conversations- you used to come to me about everything, but lately, it just feels like I'm the one bothering you- and not even in a fun way. You don't laugh when I joke around with you anymore and that really scares me y/n… so just talk to me, kid." Howl tells his true feelings and puts a gentle hand on her shoulder. y/n feels like crying now, as it was never her intention to distance herself from her brother, who happened to be her best friend too. y/n can't bring herself to look him in the eye as she feels tears pool in her own eyes, so she hangs her head letting her hair fall in her face, and she just nods.

"I will… I promise I'll talk to you about it just- not right now please" she requests as a single tear drops onto her desk, and she has to hold herself back from letting out a sob. Even though her head is hung, Howl still clearly sees the distressed look and teary eyes of his sister, making him even more concerned. He didn't want to leave her alone, or even let her go out, but he didn't want to smother her and make things worse. So he just nodded and patted her head, then left. Once Howl was out of her room, y/n's tears were freely falling for about seven seconds before she forced herself to pull it together. It wasn't fair for her to be crying over something she had no business crying over. Even though she promised to talk to him about it, y/n had no idea how she was supposed to explain to her brother how she hated being around his girlfriend because the older girl had more of an effect on her than any boy she's ever been with has had on her. The thought made her sick for so many reasons.

Bada looks up from her phone to see Howl coming back downstairs with a somber look. She waited for him to look at her and say something, and he just sighed walking towards her seated figure with open arms, engulfing her in a hug as he landed on the couch next to her.

"Is she okay?" she asks, rubbing circles on her boyfriend's back

"I don't think so… something's wrong but she won't tell me what- at least not right now. She didn't wanna talk about it… she always wants to share things with me, I don’t understand" Howl expresses sadly looking at Bada. She understands why he's so distressed though, as y/n was more of a daughter to him sometimes than a sister. Even though the two weren't too far apart in age, Howl has practically raised y/n, making him even more protective of her than a usual brother. He felt responsible for the girl even as she got further into her adult years.

They went back to watching their movie and when it ended, howl had gotten up to use the bathroom asking Bada to get more snacks and pick out their next movie. She had gotten up and went to the kitchen right as y/n was making her way downstairs and into the kitchen as well, unknowing of the older girl's presence. Once y/n stepped into the kitchen, she looked up from her phone after sensing another presence. Her eyes widened slightly, making eye contact with Bada who was leaning against the counter, already staring at her. Y/n tried to give her a small smile, but it didn't reach her eyes and the poor girl just looked awkward and uncomfortable as she turned away and began looking through the fridge.

Bada couldn't help but stare again, noticing y/n' plush thighs being slightly squeezed by the sheer black thigh highs she's got on, especially as she bent over slightly while looking through the fridge. She couldn't even bring herself to feel guilty, too focused on how good y/n looked, and even more focused on trying to stare directly at her ass where her dark red panties were poking out.

"hey y/n…" Bada started, causing the younger girl to whip around with wide puppy eyes, letting out a 'hm?'

"do you guys have any popcorn left?" the older girl asks and y/n visibly relaxes, letting out a sigh

"uhm… yeah…I think, I mean- we should" she explains and leaves her search in the fridge to head over to one of the cabinets over the countertop. Bada follows her with her eyes, watching her scan the cabinet until she spots the popcorn on one of the upper shelves. Y/n begins reaching for it, yet even in her platform heels, she still struggles, barely even grazing the box. Bada hopes her amusement isn't too obvious as she didn't realize she was staring so hard at the smaller girl's short dress rising up to lay just below her ass, once again exposing how the tops of her thigh highs squeeze her skin so well.

The taller girl pushes off the counter and comes up directly behind y/n and placing one hand on her hip, reaching over her to grab the box. She could feel Bada pressing against her completely and felt like she was frozen in place.

"you could've just told me where it was, you didn't have to struggle to help me out" Bada speaks lowly in her ear, smirking slightly. She backs up just enough to lean on the counter beside y/n who is just staring at her hands as she plays with the ring on her finger.

"I wanted to be polite, you're a guest so…" the younger girl tried to speak confidently but her voice died out at the end. Bada smiles, eyes still drilling into the side of her head.

"hmm…" she nods in understanding before continuing

"you look so pretty tonight, y/n-ie" Bada speaks lowly again, now leaning her head on her hand and staring up slightly at the younger girl, who slightly turns her head to meet eyes with the girl in front of her. y/n's eyes are wide and her lips are slightly parted before she gulps intensely and looks back down at her hands.

"thank you" she whispers, once again trying to give a sincere smile but she feels like she's going to cry again. Bada notices this and her teasing smile turns into a frown, worried she has said something wrong. She straightens up and leans back on her palms against the counter, once again towering over y/n, even though she herself was slouching and the younger girl had on heels.

"what's wrong? You look upset…" Bada asks softly this time with genuine concern. Y/n just closes her eyes tightly and takes a deep breath before opening her eyes again and smiling gently. Bada can tell it's fake, as her eyes are still glossy and her lips tremble a little.

"Nothing, I just-" she sighs and looks down briefly before straightening herself up and looking back up at Bada, now not as worked up, but still holding onto false enthusiasm

"I just don't like how I did my makeup. And I'm not too sure of my outfit either" y/n finishes explaining by crossing her arms over her chest, still trying to come off as if she's truly bothered by her look. Bada furrows her brows, knowing that's not what she's really upset about but still wanting to reassure her by playing into her façade. And why not? At least she could have a little bit of fun while doing it

"I think your makeup looks amazing… I love the dark vampire-y look" the older girl reassures with a light smile at the end, causing y/n to giggle unwillingly, looking down as a smile takes over her face.

"You do?" she asks quietly, kicking the back of her own heel trying to keep herself busy, not entirely believing Bada. Bada moves closer to her and reaches up to tuck a loose curl behind her ear, keeping her large hand placed on the side of y/n's neck afterward. Y/n looks up with puppy dog eyes and stares at Bada, who instead of making eye contact with her, glances directly at her blood-red lips.

"yeah… I actually really like it, but-" she reaches her other hand up to clean up a smudge in the younger girl's lipstick that wasn't even there, causing y/n's lips to part slightly and her eyes to glaze over. Bada's hand rests on her jaw as the other that had been resting on y/n's neck moves to graze down her bare arm.

"I think this outfit is a little too much… or not enough rather" the older girl whispers seductively, finally meeting y/n's eyes with a dangerous glance. The young girl felt like her heart had stopped beating and she couldn't breathe. All she could focus on was Bada's touch and her voice, her eyes trained on the older girl's plump lips so badly just wanting her to lean down and mess up her lipstick.

They hear footsteps coming down the stairs and Bada immediately reaches behind y/n for the box of popcorn and turns calmly to pop a bag in the microwave, acting as if nothing had happened.

y/n stands there against the counter with her jaw dropped, eyes still glazed over only snapping out of it when Howl steps into the kitchen. She turns around and grabs her purse that had been sitting on the counter, and walks past her brother and out of the kitchen, shouting a quick "I'm leaving now" as she walks through the living room and out the door.

As the couple finishes preparing their snacks and they head back to the living room Bada turns to Howl with a curious look on her face

"Has y/n only ever been with guys?" she asks shoving a piece of popcorn in her mouth, Howl turns to her with his eyebrows furrowed.

"what do you mean?" he counters, also munching on his snacks

"Like- has she ever been with a girl?" she asks coolly and her boyfriend snorts, shaking his head

"Y/n? No way. I actually thought she only liked girls for a while because of how irritated she had been getting with boys- I actually still kinda think that-" he whispers the last part matter-of-factly, shocking Bada a little

"But when I asked her, she freaked about and said "absolutely not!"" mocking your high-pitched voice, causing Bada to nod, slightly disappointed.

"I was just curious… the way she dresses definitely reminds me of a girl who's trying to attract women" Bada laughs a little, causing Howl to laugh along with her

"now that I think about it- she's always trying to convince herself that these guys she's always going out with her attractive- I don't think she's ever been excited to go on a date with any of these guys either… just like- "yeah he's kinda cute, maybe he'll be exciting" and then doesn't have any fun at all. I always just thought it was because her standards were so high!" he shrugs and explains in detail to Bada, who is now determined to change y/n's love life around. Bada hums and turns back to the television in front of them, continuing to scroll through the possible movies 

_______

It's about 1:45 am when Bada gets a text from y/n… except she doesn't see it until around 2:20 since she and Howl were having sex. And here's the thing, Bada's a smart woman, she knows how to get what she wants. She's also very intuitive and can tell when a situation is playing out in her favor. She may not have romantic feelings for her current boyfriend, but that doesn't change the fact that he's attractive and good at using his dick.

When they finish and he gets up to grab a damp towel, Bada picks up her phone to check the time and sees a missed message, and then a missed call from y/n. She panics a little, never having gotten a text from the girl other than in a group chat with her and Howl. When she clicks on the notification the message she reads throws her off a little

'are u busy rn?' was sent at 1:47 am and the missed call came through three minutes later at 1:50. Bada felt horrible, thinking this was probably the only time y/n would reach out to her and she missed it cuz she was fucking some guy she didn't even like like that. Bada responded with 'No, what's up?' hoping she wasn't too late, staring at her phone, waiting for the screen to at least show that y/n had read the message. A couple minutes passed and Howl was still in the bathroom, so she decided to call the younger girl. When she didn't answer, Bada began to worry. She knew y/n went out with her friends to some party, so why would she be texting her and calling unless she was busy? Maybe she was just drunk and thought she was messaging someone else. Either way, Bada couldn't shake the uncomfortable feeling that was settling in the pit of her stomach. Howl had come back and laid himself over top of her, kissing the back of her shoulders before asking her if she was okay.

"yeah, I'm good…" she quickly looked over her shoulder throwing him a half-hearted smile that quickly faded when she looked back at her phone, still not getting anything from y/n.

"I think something's wrong with y/n." she had whispered in a daze, wondering if she should try calling the younger girl again. This causes howl to sit up completely straight, totally out of whatever state of lust he had still been in.

"what? What makes you say that? Did you see something?" he starts rifling off questions and Bada almost wishes she didn't say anything, because now she has to deal with Howl outwardly freaking out, instead of just dealing with the internal panic herself. Bada sighed and closed her eyes, massaging her forehead.

"She actually texted me a little bit ago… and then called me" she informed him with her eyes still closed. She looked tense, the whole situation starting to give her a headache

"…wait- she texted you? Has she ever texted you before?" Howl questioned with utter confusion lacing his voice. His brows were furrowed and he looked totally lost.

"yeah… I don't know why either, but she's not answering now so I'm kind of worried…" Bada bit her lip and zoned out, thinking too hard about what the other girl could be doing that would cause her not to answer her phone. Howl sighs and stands to grab his own phone.

"her location is still in the same place it was two hours ago, so I'm guessing she's just busy at the party. You shouldn't stress about it-" Howl shares but Bada cuts him off

"right but why would she text me? It's gotta be something- or else she would've texted you or one of her other friends so- I don't know I just feel bad" She crosses her arms over her naked chest, suddenly feeling too uncomfortable in her skin. She stands up running a hand through her hair and begins looking around the room for her shirt. Once she finds it, Bada puts on her shirt and quickly finds her panties after that, feeling a little less self-conscious afterward. She paces around a little more before standing in the middle of the room, running her hands down her face and sighing heavily. Howl just sits on the bed staring at her, confused as to why his girlfriend is so torn up about this

"so what do you wanna do about it? Do you want me to call her to see if she answers? Do you wanna go get her?" he starts giving her options and it just frustrates the girl more

"no- I just- I don't know… I feel horrible" Bada sighs crossing her arms again and leaning her head back, frustrated by the whole ordeal. Her boyfriend just becomes even more confused by this

"Woah, wait- why are you so torn up over this?? Seriously-" Howl laughs slightly, really not understanding her stress

"Babe, there have been plenty of times where she hasn't answered my calls or texts at a party, and it's usually cuz- well- she's partying!" he laughs softly before continuing

"I promise, she's okay- don't beat yourself up over it" he places both hands on her shoulders and Bada feels sick to her stomach. She takes a deep breath before letting it out just as big and hangs her head in frustration

"I know… I just feel like this is the only time she's ever wanted to talk to me and I blew it" the girl admits and her boyfriend once again just laughs softly, and hugs her, not understanding what she truly meant by her statement.

"Trust me, she'll understand" Howl reassures her, rubbing circles on her back- though it does nothing to ease her mind.

When y/n comes home the next day around 10:30 am to see Bada and Howl in the kitchen messing around while trying to make breakfast, the younger girl slams the front door getting their attention, as they didn't notice her come in

"oops… sorry" she mumbles loud enough for them both to hear and walks past them up the stairs. Bada watches her walk all the way upstairs with a guilty look and sad puppy eyes. Howl notices and sighs

"do you wanna go talk to her?" he asks rubbing Bada's bare thigh. She looks at him for a second before looking back towards the stairs and pursing her lips. She pushes Howl back a little bit so she can hop off the counter, and begins heading toward the stairs. Once she reaches y/n's door she knocks and after a few seconds, the shorter girl opens the door, wearing a t-shirt that's way too big for her and a pair of men's boxers tied up with a hair tie. She looks exhausted, her makeup still surprisingly intact. y/n doesn't say anything to Bada, who just stands there waiting for a second. The younger girl eyes her up and Bada realizes she's never felt this nervous around her. Y/n raises an eyebrow at her and the older girl finally speaks up.

"oh- uhm, can I come in?" she asks quietly, in the gentlest tone that Bada has ever used with y/n. the girl sighs and just opens her door all the way before turning around and walking back to grab some makeup wipes off her desk. Bada looks around her room and takes notice of how different it is from what she expected. There were posters of girl groups and female solo artists, but definitely not a single man or male presenting object being spotted in the young girl's room. She noticed the red rose petals scattered across one of the shelves, the lines of perfumes, and the many lip glosses and lipsticks overtaking her desk. It was totally different, yet exactly what she had expected.

"can I help you?" y/n had asked from where she was leaning over her vanity, wiping off the remains of her makeup. She looked in the mirror to make eye contact with a wide-eyed Bada.

"I just- wanted to check on you… you called last night and I wasn't able to answer-" y/n scoffed and had a bitter smirk as she went back to taking off her makeup

"yeah, I wonder why…" she mumbled just loud enough for Bada to hear. The older girl's eyebrows shot up in surprise, not expecting such a comment from the other. Bada couldn't help but laugh a little in shock, amused at y/n's reaction, but still confused as to why she was upset with her.

"Okay- so how was your party last night… you seemed to have fun" the older girl counters with her arms crossed, smirking at the girl who had walked in with her hair a mess, lipstick smudged, and mascara slightly staining her under eyes. y/n put down her makeup wipe, sighed, and closed her eyes, before turning around to face Bada.

"my party was great. I had a great time. Such a great time that THAT is the reason I called you- to tell you how great of a time I was having." she sarcastically spewed, getting more fiery by the second. Bada was even more confused now, somehow feeling even more guilty than before.

"so why did you call me then, y/n… why?" the older girl calmly asked, trying to contain the guilty look overtaking her eyes. Seeing her face, y/n's own guilty expression showed up as she began to question why she was even talking in the first place.

"I don't know…" y/n felt like she could cry. Because truth be told, she had called Bada in hopes that the older girl would come get her, and the two of them could go do something instead… but just the two of them. Without Howl- without anyone. Y/n hated going to parties now, ever since she met Bada, she started hating it. She hated dating around and meeting guys that wanted to fuck her, or even guys that actually wanted to date her- it didn't matter because y/n hated it all now. Yet whenever she found out Bada would be at her house, she couldn't bring herself to stay there, so she got dressed up and went out, hoping some guy would be able to fuck her good enough or talk to her sweet enough that she'd be able to confidently tell herself that she wasn't obsessed with her brother's girlfriend.

The silence that filled the room felt suffocating. The two girls just standing there, the younger hanging her head feeling so many emotions that she doesn't know how to process. y/n felt her throat tighten the longer Bada stood there, silent. Bada knew there was an answer, but she could tell right now she wasn't going to get it. So she sighed and shook her head, and then left closing the door behind her.

A few weeks go by and things are back to normal with y/n and Bada, except now it's Howl's turn to start acting strange. He hasn't been kissing Bada or hugging her or even having any remote physical contact with her. She doesn't feel hurt by it, but Bada is slightly confused. He's been extra busy and has been unavailable any time she's tried to ask him to hang out until one time he finally agrees. He drives to her apartment and they end up ordering takeout and watching a movie

"I have a question…" Howl brings up out of nowhere, still not being touchy with her. Bada looks away from the TV and hums, signaling him to continue

"do you like girls?" Bada is a little shocked by the question but not completely thrown off. She tilts her head and smiles a little awkwardly

"well… yeah? But I also like guys… sometimes" she jokes, hoping he hasn't caught onto her, and if he has that he isn't going to tear her to shreds for it. Howl hums and nods.

"well do you like me?" he follows up, to which Bada huffs out a laugh that sounds a little more forced than she wanted it to

"well I'm dating you aren't I?" she tries to joke, but howl only smiles a little, definitely having gained an understanding of the situation over the last few days.

"that doesn't answer my question, Bada…" he argues gently, still with a slightly knowing smile. Bada realizes the situation and her face drops slightly.

"I'm so sorry." she starts, the guilt from the early stages seeping back into her heart again.

"I didn't mean for it to be like this I really thought-" she tries to explain, but is cut off by Howl

"It's okay- I promise. I could tell you really did try… but I also wasn't entirely feeling a spark either, so I promise Bada, it's okay. Please don't beat yourself up over this…" she's hunched over, elbows resting on her knees as she hides her face in her hands. he places a comforting hand on her shoulder and she just feels so guilty

"c'mon you can't be sad and awkward around me now, especially if you're gonna try and date my sister." he confidently joked, causing Bada's eyes to widen and for her to sit straight up. Her jaw dropped to the floor and her now ex(??) just laughed.

"WHAT???" she squeaked, absolutely baffled at what Howl had just said.

"I was talking to y/n…" he started calm and then started laughing again

"she kinda snitched on you, fucking cheater" and Bada thought she was gonna cry, she was feeling so many emotions. But clearly seeing that his joke didn't land as well as he thought it would, he began scrambling to comfort her.

"But I'm not upset! I promise! I thought it was funny- I swear Bada it's okay" he rambled as he hugged the now crying Bada. She felt too confused and didn't know what was going on but she also felt a little hopeful.

"She really likes you…" Howl whispered into her hair while hugging her, causing her to hiccup slightly before sitting back to wipe her tears.

"what the fuck do you mean 'she likes you'" the girl sighs and shakes her head, still feeling tears prepare to fall.

"well…" he starts

"We actually got into a huge fight after you left that day a few weeks ago… I was so fed up with her attitude that I accidentally blew up on her, and then she blew up on me, and we didn't end up talking for three days I think… but then I went to apologize and she just cried and cried, talking about how she was a horrible sister and she felt like a horrible person and that she didn't know what to do… I was so confused." howl began explaining

" but then when I asked her what she was talking about she really just flipped her shit and started crying so hard that o thought she was gonna make herself sick- I felt awful… so I just hugged her and let her cry until she calmed down at least a little bit. Then all of a sudden she looked up at me and said- "I'm so sorry… but- I think I like Bada". I was honestly just so shocked and at first I was so in denial that I thought she was joking, meaning she liked you as a friend- I was like "That's great!" then she started crying harder and I realized what she meant…" Bada sat there with her hand over her mouth, absolutely shocked beyond words.

A couple of days later, Bada gets a text from Howl ‘hey- I'm not home…’ to which she raises an eyebrow and replies ‘ok?’ a few moments later her phone pings again

‘but y/n is ;)’ Bada rolls her eyes and scoffs out a laugh, but then she starts thinking about it seriously and decides to head to her room to pick out an outfit. She turns on the shower and texts howl while the water warms up ‘how long will you be out for?’ and not even a minute later, he's responding

‘oh I'm out for the night, go keep her company😋😚’ and Bada just shakes her head smiling, puts her phone down then hops in the shower. She shaves everything, deep washes her hair and makes sure to use the lotion she knows y/n likes. Once she finishes up, she checks her phone again to see the time and realizes it’s 7:26. Bada gets dressed and tries not to bother putting on any makeup, but ultimately decides to do a little eyeliner, mascara, and lipstick. The girl grabbed her purse and hopped in her car, heading off to her ex-boyfriend’s house, aka her new girlfriend’s house. 

When Bada pulled into the driveway, she started to panic a little. ‘What if y/n was just having a moment and doesn’t actually like me? What if she doesn’t actually like girls at all and was just thinking she did?’ she started psyching herself out but then remembered how torn Howl had described the younger girl to be. So she got out of the car and walked up to the door, before kicking on it confidently. Or at least with fake confidence.

When y/n opens the door, she’s already confused and looks a little distressed. She had known that Howl and Bada had broken up, so why was she here? Howl of course hadn’t told his sister the plan, wanting to catch her off guard in order for her to feel her realest emotions. And although he had explained to her that they had broken up, he only told her it was because there were no romantic feelings between them anymore- her brother never mentioned the part where he practically outed her to Bada.

“Hey y/n!” Bada chirps with a nervous smile, as she stands stiffly with her hands in her pockets. Y/n’s still partially hiding behind the door and her confusion is still very apparent, especially after hearing the older girl’s chipper tone.

“Uh… hey.” she tries to respond enthusiastically, but it barely comes out in her tone of voice as well as her lack of expression change. They both stand there for a few seconds before Bada clears her throat.

“Uh… can I come in?” the older of the two asks with the same bright tone as before, but the other starts to panic slightly.

“Oh- well Howl isn’t home… so…” the smaller girl struggled to find any other words 

“I know.” Bada responded with a shy but knowing smile, causing the younger girl’s eyes to widen and her mouth to part slightly, starting to understand the situation but not wanting to jump to any conclusions. She starts to nod slowly and steps back to open the door fully, moving aside to let the other in.

“Uhm… yeah, come in.” She finally speaks up, still a little dazed and confused, and the older smiles gently at her as she enters. Bada walks around comfortably, having been in the house plenty of time. She takes a seat in the middle of the sofa, looking over at y/n who is still standing stiffly by the front door. The older chuckles and tilts her head before patting the cushion, indicating she wants the younger girl to come sit next to her. The one still standing begins to cautiously make her way over, causing Bada to roll her eyes.

“Oh my god, Y/n I'm not gonna bite you-” she grabs the smaller girl’s wrist once she gets close enough, and pulls her down to sit right next to her on the couch. y/n let out a gasp, shocked by the contact but also the older girl’s assertiveness.  

“Well- not yet at least” Bada finishes with a cheesy smirk, trying to joke around but also being completely serious. The girl across from her let out an awkward laugh, trying her best to calm down, but still totally lost as to why her brother’s ex-girlfriend was there.

“So… why exactly are you here? If you knew Howl wasn’t gonna be here, and I’m assuming you know he’s not gonna be here for a while…” y/n questioned quietly, unsure of what to expect in response. The older of the two put her arm on the back of the couch and leaned in closer.

“You really don’t know?” Bada questioned softly, seductively, eyeing up the girl across from her- who stayed silent, only shaking her head in denial.

“I’m here to see you…” the older explained, still carrying a dark, tension-filled aura, trying to get the ball rolling and finally get her point across. Yet, the younger girl across from her wasn’t budging.

“You’re here to see me… why?” y/n asked, genuinely confused.

“C’mon y/n, you don’t need to play dumb” Bada chuckled and shook her head with a smirk.

“I’m not playing dumb, there’s just no way you’re actually here to see me.” she was starting to get frustrated and Bada could tell by the way she was scooting back to put some distance between them- the younger girl’s response confused her. 

“Why wouldn’t I want to come see you-” the older is cut off by her counterpart standing up abruptly to stand in front of her still-seated figure.

“Because Bada, you’ve never actually wanted to come see me. you’re only trying to mess with me- you’re always fucking messing with me…” there was a long pause and the older girl watched y/n’s face go from frustrated to distraught, noticing her eyes start to water.

“I didn’t like you at all and then you forced your way in here and I had no choice- but when I actually start FUCKING liking you for real, you decide to stop trying. You stop wanting me to come out with you and Howl, you stop complimenting me, you don’t even look in my direction-” By now y/n’s crying out in anger and frustration, and Bada is standing there watching it all happen, totally blind-sided.

“And I know it’s selfish, and so fucking crazy of me to have been wanting my brother’s FUCKING GIRLFRIEND to pay more attention to me than she did him- I know it’s fucked… but it is absolutely not fair that you played into it the way you did…” she begins to sob fully, hanging her head as her shoulder shake.

“It’s not fucking fair…” y/n whispers covering her face with her hands. Bada didn’t know what to do as she stood with her mouth slightly agape, speechless, and unprepared for the outburst of emotions from the young girl. She cautiously began stepping toward her sobbing figure, and once she was close enough, Bada gently grabbed y/n’s wrist pulling her hand away from her face. She looked up at the taller girl, still crying and Bada slowly moved her other hand up to cup y/n’s face. Her lip was quivering as she held back another wave of tears, waiting for the older girl’s next move.

“I’m so sorry…” Bada whispered staring deeply into y/n’s eyes, the sincerity and warmth of her glance causing the younger of the two to burst into tears again, dropping her head as much as she could while still being held. 

“Everything I’ve ever said to you was real… I’ve meant every single word of it all.” the older girl continued to reassure gently wiping the tears from y/n’s eyes as they continued to fall. She bit her lip debating whether or not it was a good time to prove herself, ultimately deciding that it was. 

 “Y/n…” Bada called softly and lifted the smaller girl’s head gently to look up at her. She had stopped crying for the most part and was calmer now, so Bada took a deep breath before leaning in and pressing her lips passionately to y/n’s. The younger girl’s breath hitched into the kiss in short-lived shock, before her eyes fluttered shut and quickly fell into rhythm. Bada’s lips were soft and tasted of sweet chapstick- something y/n noticed right away… something she never paid attention to with any of the boys she’d been with in the past, only ever noticing how cold they all felt. But not Bada. Bada’s kisses were warm, and passionate, filled with emotion and feeling. Y/n felt something, and it didn’t scare her anymore, at least not at that moment.

The older girl was still holding onto the other’s wrist with one hand while cupping her face with the other. Y/n moved her free hand to cautiously land on Bada’s cheek, just barely grazing the skin before the taller of the two shifted her hand placement as well, freeing y/n’s wrist to wrap her arm around the girl’s waist and pull her in tighter, deepening the kiss- causing her to have to adjust her hand from the slight touch of Bada’s cheek to firmly holding onto the back of her neck. They stumbled back slightly and continued to lead each other backward until y/n was bumping into the end table. They separated for about half a second to gauge their spacing before y/n was leaning against the table and Bada was bending down to meet her height. After a few more moments of soft yet passionate kissing, Bada backed away for a brief second, smiling when the younger girl leaned forward to follow her lips. y/n opened her eyes, a tad confused in her dazed state.

“Why don’t we go upstairs?” the older softly mumbled against the other’s lips, pressing short kisses in the moments of silence, making it hard for the girl in question to focus and respond. y/n nodded and closed her eyes again to enjoy a longer kiss before her counterpart parted again to drag her up the stairs toward her bedroom. Bada had no trouble finding the girl’s room seeing as she’s familiar with the house as a whole, but has also been in it before.

Once they make it inside, neither bothers to close the door as they both head straight for the bed. Bada pushes y/n gently as they both near the edge and the younger of the two sits bringing her partner down with her, their lips still connected. Y/n scoots her way back so she’s laying against her pillows as Bada crawls her way up with her. Their energy becomes more united as their lips continue to mold together and pick up speed.  

Bada has one hand resting near the top of the bed and her other hand rubs up and down y/n’s side at first, but eventually coming to a stop on her lower inner thigh before pulling slightly to part the smaller girl’s legs, making more room for herself to fully lay in between them. Y/n felt a short whine slip out at the feeling of the older girl’s hands on her, bringing one leg up to wrap around her hips. As soon as Bada registered y/n pulling her closer, she began to slowly grind her hips into the girl beneath her, both letting out soft whines and moans as they continued to move together. y/n’s hands were moving up Bada’s shirt, rubbing her sides and grazing her back, only spurring the older girl to become even more passionate with her actions.

Their kisses were starting to become messy, with their tongues intertwining and them nipping at each other’s lips every now and then. Bada began to work her way down, kissing from the corner of y/n’s lips and across her cheek as she began biting and sucking from her jaw down to below the girl’s collarbone. The older of the two was sure she spent enough time and effort marking up her partner’s neck- at least she thought so with how much louder y/n’s moans and whines had gotten, and by the way she was tugging at her hair.

Bada worked her way back up and as soon as she got even remotely close, the young girl was pulling her back in to attack her lips again. The room was quiet aside from the rustling of clothing and bedsheets, along with the small noises of pleasure coming from the two girls, slightly muffled by their kisses. Bada began to work her hands down the other girl’s body stopping at the waistband of her sweatpants, running her fingers across the edge before ever so slightly dipping underneath them. Y/n tensed for a second and Bada could tell something was off

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” she asked softly, quickly checking over the small girl to make sure there wasn’t any obvious issue.

“Yeah! Yeah, actually can we just- uhm… can we just kiss right now… and maybe do some other stuff at a later time?” y/n’s voice had gotten almost impossibly quiet at the end as she avoided eye contact and Bada felt her heartbreak at how nervous the girl had seemed to ask her. She reached her hands back up to cup the smaller girl’s face again and began to stroke y/n’s cheeks lovingly.

“Angel, of course we can just kiss right now, we don’t even have to do that if you don’t want to-” the older girl expressed her sincere understanding, but was cut off

“No! I do wanna kiss you- I actually think I might die if I don’t kiss you right now… I just… I’m just still trying to process that you actually want to be with me…” y/n explained and finished with an embarrassed smile, causing Bada to sigh but not out of annoyance or frustration, not even impatience. She just felt so guilty for making this poor girl think there wasn’t a reason for her to be loved. She surveyed the girl’s face, once again noticing the sparkle in her eyes and blush painting her face- how her lips were slightly red and swollen from their activities, and how her eyes were still a little puffy from crying. 

Bada leaned forward and pressed her lips back to y/n’s, softly this time as if she were afraid the small girl in front of her would break if she took on any more pressure. They continued their activities from a moment ago, this time more gently, the two feeling themselves become whole as their energies intertwine. After a while, they pull away and just gaze into each other’s eyes in a lovestruck daze.

“I wanna do this. I know this is all totally new to you, so let’s take our time okay? Let’s make sure we talk things out and we’re honest about our feelings from now on… I really want things to work between us y/n.” Bada expressed her true feelings all while stroking the other girl’s cheek gently and then petting her hair. Y/n’s eyes began to water again, this time out of overwhelming happiness, as she nodded her head enthusiastically, unable to bring herself to speak knowing she’d start crying again.

“You really are a crybaby, you know that?” Bada teased softly, tucking a piece of hair behind y/n’s ear. The younger just shyly giggled and tucked her head onto the other’s chest after hitting her playfully. They stayed that way for a while, with Bada’s arm wrapped securely around y/n’s waist.

“So, what movie do you wanna watch?” the older had spoken up after a few moments of them enjoying the silence, waiting as the younger peaked up with puppy eyes before looking off to the side to ponder for a second.

“Hmm… let’s watch Tangled!” she expressed excitedly, blushing again when her partner rolled her eyes, having already expected that to be the answer. It didn’t really matter in the end what movie they chose though, seeing as they both ended up falling asleep wrapped securely in each other’s arms about thirty minutes into the film. 

And the next morning when Howl came home, he made his way upstairs to see if his sister was home, and sure enough, when he saw her door was open and was about to walk in he realized she was cuddled up with exactly who he had expected to be there. He smiled to himself, shutting her door quietly, and just kept walking down the hall to his own room. Mission accomplished.

notes: i genuinely think i'm incapable of writing short fics...

permanent taglist: @uwulyn

#bada lee x reader #street woman fighter 2 #street woman fighter x reader #bada lee #bada x reader #reqs for rosie

[seunmong-in]

•Midnight sessions & Love Confessions🌙🤍•

Genre: Fluff, best friends to lovers, flirting, slight sass on Chan’s part, cursing (very minimal) Idol!HanxReader 

Words: 1.6K

A/N: This is my first time writing again in almost 5 years... Hopefully, you guys enjoyed this as much as I did!! If you guys want to see more of this please reblog/like the post or if you have any feedback please DM me!!

⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*

“Okay Y/N, that was good but do you think you can sound like you're actually in love? You know, like how you are in love with Jisung.”

You glare at Chan while you mouth the words “Fuck you” to him. As Chan and Binnie start laughing at you as you simply roll your eyes. The boys have been teasing you about your crush on Jisung, the other 1/3 of the 3racha, for a while now. They accidentally found out about your feelings for him a few months ago during one of your usual movie nights at your place. Since then, they have been either making jokes or pushing you to confess your feelings to him. However, you have always refused, thinking that he doesn't feel the same way and you didn’t want to jeopardize your friendship with him. After all, Jisung has been your best friend for years and you both have been inseparable since you debuted together. You walk out of the booth frustrated and sat on the couch. Chan and Binnie at the same time turned their chairs around to face you. It was already 12:30 AM and you were exhausted.

“Why can’t you give this part to Lee Know or Seungmin, they can sing this better than I can anyway,” you say stubbornly, closing your eyes for a few seconds.

"Because I had you in mind to sing the girl's response to this love song, Y/n. Plus, Bin and I have been wanting you to sing this for the past year now. We've even discussed having you as our featured artist for this album so you really can't back out now princess," Chan responded with a smile.

You couldn't really argue with Chan about this because he brings up a good point. You and the boys have been begging management for a song collaboration for years, and as soon as they agreed, you all teased the collaboration to your respective fanbases. Scrapping it now would be a waste of time and bad from a publicity standpoint. Knowing you had no way out of this session for at least tonight, you groaned as you stood up back up from the couch and walked back into the booth, grabbing on the headphones that rested on the mic. Once you had the headphones situated properly and the lyrics in front of you, you look at Binnie for the next instructions.

“Okay Y/n, start from the top of the second verse until you reach the bridge. Remember, try to sing this as if you're falling in love. Put lots of emotion into this bunny,”

You nod while Chan signals to Binnie to hit the record button. The instrumentals start playing as you take a deep breath, closing your eyes, and trying to mimic the feeling of being in love. Instantly, you pictured Jisung in front of you, smiling ear to ear as he cheers you on from the other side. You couldn’t help but crack open a soft smile as memories of the two of you played in your mind. You start to recall all the times he saved you from bad blind dates and all the all-nighters you both would pull just because you both got heavily attached to some anime series that was 10 years old. You continued to sing into the mic, putting all the emotions you were feeling into it and not missing a beat. This was something you didn’t do in your first couple of recordings. You were so deep into your feelings, channeling that feeling of being in love, that you didn’t even realize you were hitting all of the high notes in the bridge that Chan originally took out because you couldn’t hit them. Once the music starts to fade away, the memories of Jisung and you fade away too. You slowly open your eyes to see not only Chris and Binnie smiling at you, but Jisung was also in the room, staring at you in amazement. He pushes Chris over to the side and speaks into the mic. 

“Damn Y/n that was absolutely fucking amazing!! Who knew you had that in you, Angel.” 

Angel... He just called you angel. He’s only ever called you Bubba or Bubbles but never Angel... You feel your face turning red as you quickly put the headphones back down on the mic and walk out of the booth.

Ignoring that you are blushing over this new nickname, Jisung attacks you in a hug as he whispers in your ear about how beautiful you sounded in your recording. When did Ji sneak in? Did the boys text him to come sit in as you sang? Did he see you blush when he called you angel? You were so deep into thought trying to figure out what just happened, that you didn’t hear Chan talking to you.

“Earth to Y/nnnn, did you hear anything I just said.”

“Huh, no sorry what did you say Channie?” You let go of Jisung's embrace, and as you turn to face Chan, you see him smirking. Unlike Jisung, he could tell you were clearly blushing over the compliments you were receiving.

“I said I think we finally got our take. If you want, you can go home for the night since I know it’s getting late, and we can play it back first thing in the morning for you.”

Sighing in relief, you agree while you pack up your things. You thank the boys for having to spend/ deal with you the last few hours, telling them you will see them in the morning, and start to walk out of the room when Jisung stops you. 

“Y/n wait up!” He grabs you by the arm, spinning you around. 

“Here let me take you home, it’s late and cold out.”

“Oh Ji, I don’t want to bother you with that! I was planning to Uber home anyway.”

“Well, luckily you aren’t bothering me with asking since I am also the one offering. Plus it is my civil duty as your best friend, so I am taking you home and that's final. Now come on, Angel.”

He interlocks his hand into yours as you both walk out of the company building and go to his car. You couldn’t help but look down as you try to contain your smile though this is something the both of you usually do consistently. Jisung walks up to the passenger's side of his car and opens it for you, bowing down and signaling for you to hop in. You giggle at his silly gesture as you playfully curtsey back to him and get in. It’s moments like these you can’t help but fall more in love with him. He closes your door and quickly runs over to his side of the car, turning it on. He puts on some random playlist and he puts the car in drive. 

“Alrighty, off to your house.”

⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*

After 10 minutes of listening to music in silence, you finally arrived at your apartment building. You could see from above your sister’s lights were still on which means she was still up playing video games with Felix and I.N. As you turned to face Jisung, thanking him for the ride home, you noticed he was already facing you, softly smiling. 

"I know I said this earlier at the studio in front of the boys, but I really meant it when I said you really killed it with the song, Y/n. I can seriously listen to you sing all day." 

That compliment made your heart skip a beat. You couldn't believe what you just heard. Although you are very talented and often hear comments like that from fans, there was something different about hearing it come from Jisung. It made you feel all bubbly inside as if you had butterflies fluttering everywhere.

"I am being 100 percent honest, Y/n. Hearing you sing with such passion and emotion, I would be lying if I said I didn't fall in love with your voice. I mean, I am already in love wit--" Jisung stops speaking as he covers his mouth and quickly looks down.

You look at him, taking a moment to process what was just said. Han Jisung, your best friend and long-time crush, has unintentionally confessed his love for you. Now the car is now truly silent as the music stops playing. With some newfound confidence, you reach over and gently lift his chin. He looks at you with red cheeks, clearly embarrassed, and tries to avoid your eye contact. You couldn’t help but smile as you finally, say the words he's been longing to hear.

“I am in love with you too Ji.”

Jisung grabs your face and kisses you passionately, and within seconds, you feel a rush of sparks running through your body. It's the answer you've been waiting for after years of not knowing. As Jisung pulls away, he places his forehead against yours.

“I've been waiting to do that since we first met, Angel.”

“I’ve been waiting for the same thing Ji.” You smile at him as you kiss him again. 

After that night, the two of you officially became a couple. The boys were ecstatic to learn that you both had finally confessed your feelings to each other after almost a year of teasing. You also later find out that Jisung had actually written the song that had become a global #1 hit as a confession of his feelings towards you, not Chan and Binnie as you had initially thought.

So not only do you have the #1 love song trending worldwide, but you also got the best boyfriend by your side.

#straykids smau #straykids fluff #han jisung #han x reader #straykids imagines #stray kids #skz x reader #skz fluff #skz scenarios #skz han #skz 3racha #skz stay #skz imagines #skz fanfic #skz x y/n #stray kids x you

[slvt4felix]

I Could Never Hate You (Part |||)

Pairing -> ninthmember!reader x Lee Minho WC -> ~2,700 words Includes -> Reader has anxiety, fluff, and maybe some angst due to the beef with Hyunjin Summary -> You prepare for the day trying not to let your nerves for the concert later take over. This should be easy with Minho by your side but the grudge is still being held strong between you and Hyunjin. They say time heals, but can time heal this? Author's note -> Hi everyone! Welcome to part three of this little mini series. I didn't expect for this to be even more than one part but now I'm thinking it's gonna be around 4 or 5 parts to completely finish it off. I was gonna try and make this the final part but I realized writing short chapters feels much less overwhelming to me so I decided to break it down a little bit. I hope you like it! Let me know your thoughts in the comments <3

♡ Masterlist // Previous // Next ♡

"You have got to be joking right now..." you mutter to yourself as you frantically look around the bathroom. You had completely forgot to bring clothes to get dressed in after you showered. Hyunjin left a while ago and after a few laughs with your new love, you had decided to actually get ready for the day, realizing you can't spend the whole morning alone with Minho, no matter how much you want to. There's too many things to do today.

So, you had left Minho to go take a shower without too much thought. Well obviously not much thought considering you forgot your clothes. You could easily slip your pajamas back on and go get your clothes, but they were dirty and you were clean. You hate having to wear dirty clothes after a morning shower. It was supposed to be the start to a fresh day. With a concert later tonight, you are already anxious enough as it is. The shower did help a little, but this situation, although a bit silly, is souring your mood a bit. On days like these, you just want everything to go right, so it can get frustrating when little things happen. You take a deep breath, not wanting to let your thoughts go any further.

'Hyunjin would understand' you think, saddened by the events of last night. Normally, he would be the first one you would go to when you got nervous

You sigh, annoyed with your thoughts, and grab the wrinkled sweatpants and t-shirt. It'll have to do. You guys just started dating the day before, you don't wanna scare the poor man away by immediately walking out nearly naked with just a towel to cover.

Just as you're about to slip the shirt back on, your nose wrinkled in disgust, you notice a piece of black cloth resting on the counter next to the sink. Your mood instantly shifts as an idea pops into your head.

You swiftly grab it from the sink, unfolding it so that it is no longer inside out, and just like you thought a familiar design appears on the front. It's one of Minho's favorite shirts. He must of left in here last night when he changed into his pajamas. You smile, admiring the stupid drawings on the front. They are just so fitting to Minho.

Without a second thought, you slip the shirt on, getting a whiff of Minho's cologne as it passes over your face. Looking in the mirror, you notice that it covers just enough to not be too scandalous, especially with your underwear on. Minho wasn't too much bigger than you, but the couple inch height difference and his wider frame made for the perfectly oversized shirt.

It was the perfect solution; you got to wear Minho's shirt, you didn't have to walk out in a towel, and you didn't have to put all your clothes back on from last night. And hopefully, Minho's reaction will be an added bonus.

You open the door and venture out into the room, immediately seeing Minho. He's now fully dressed since he took a shower the night before when you were busy having an argument. He's on his phone patiently waiting for you while sitting in the chair Hyunjin had vacated just about an hour earlier.

He looks up upon hearing the bathroom door open, and you make eye contact. As he does so, his soft brown hair falls in front of his eyes. He uses a hand to brush it away, lightly threading through his hair. You see his eyes widen a bit at your choice of outfit and you send him a shy smile back before walking softly over to your suitcase. You bend over, making sure everything is still covered, and grab the casual clothes you had planned for today. You always dressed as comfy as possible before you had to get into the extravagant outfits the stylists prepared for the concerts. They weren't too bothersome, but sometimes the tight clothes weren't your preferred choice for all the dancing that comes with going on stage. But hey, at least you looked hot.

You stand back up after gathering the soft cotton into your hands. You're a little surprised upon feeling arms wrap around your waist. You smile as the scent of Minho's cologne yet again fills your senses; It's one of the many things you love about him.

He pulls you closer so you’re pushed against his front, his head resting on your shoulder. Your heart starts to best faster and you realize just how comforting his hugs are. You could really get addicted to this fast.

"You look so beautiful," he says softly. His breath hits your neck, sending goosebumps down the rest of your body. He doesn't say anything, but you know he had to have noticed. You're glad he doesn't make a remark, but you know just how caring and observant Minho can be. You can't help but think he's already stored that bit of information away for another time.

"My hair's wet, and I'm not even dressed yet," you say with a giggle.

"I know, I just can't believe I missed out on this for so long," he says as his grip around you tightens slightly. You can practically feel him start to recall memories from the past few years, of the way he used to treat you. It's a wonder how this is the same man who was ignoring you just days ago. But you wouldn't trade it for the world, you would stay in his arms forever if you could. He's the same Minho you used to know all those years ago, before all the insecurities got between you two.

Suddenly, there's a knock on the door pulling the two of you out of your daydream.

"God, why can't they just leave us alone," he says, rolling his eyes. You just laugh at the remark, aware of just how much Minho really loves those guys. Sure, they can be annoying sometimes, but you grow to love it.

He brings his head off of your shoulder, pecking your cheek as he moves away. Heat floods your face, despite already having a more intimate kiss with Minho the night before. Your confident that no matter how long your relationship manages to last, his affect will never wear off. Minho is just the type of person you can't help but be in love with.

He shuffles away from you and you move to go back into the bathroom, excited to finally finish getting ready for the day. Minho opens the door, not thoroughly thinking through his actions, eager to get the conversation with whoever knocked over with.

You freeze in your spot halfway to the bathroom when you hear the hotel door open. You look up, seeing Chan on the other side just as you had expected. You're not too uncomfortable since practically all the boys have seen you in this state of dress before. After years of being in the same group, it's difficult not to walk in on each other. You don't mind too much anyway.

However, this may be one of the instances where a quick glance may be your downfall. Minho's shirt and no pants may be a bit too much for Chan to not question anything. Chan can be very scary when it comes to stuff that could affect the group as a whole, and a relationship could definitely do just that. Let's just say confessing to Chan was not one of your goals for the day.

"Hey Minho, we're having breakfast downstairs before we head out for the concert venue. So once you guys are ready just meet us down there," he tells your boyfriend. You can see a small smirk form on his lips as he says the last sentence. You know he's probably thinking about the plan the boys had formed last night to make you and Minho stay in the same room. If Chan was in on it, then everyone was in on it.

While waiting for Minho's response, Chan raises his head to see around him. You assume he's looking for you to ensure the other man will actually pass the news on. The two of you make eye contact, and it's unsurprising as you watch his eyes widen upon taking in your outfit. Your blush deepens, instantly ducking away into the bathroom, not wanting to be under his scrutiny any longer.

You finish getting ready, trying to block out the conversation from right outside the door. You honestly don't even want to know what Chan said after that whole fiasco.

When you go back into the main room, Chan is gone thankfully. He must of still had a few more of the boys to wake up.

Minho and you make your way downstairs to get breakfast together with the guys before it's time to head out for the busy day. Typically, hotel food isn't all that exciting for you. You much prefer to stop at a cafe or some other restaurant on the way, but today, waffles in the middle of a hotel lobby don't sound half bad.

On the way, you walk side by side, your heart skipping a beat whenever Minho looks your way. You glance down as he subtly touches his pinky to yours. You haven't had many relationships before, falling victim to the lack of romance related to the industry you’re in, so you can't help but wish to have the typical teenage romance you hear about in movies. You've dreamed of it for years and the fact that it's finally happening makes excitement bloom in your chest.

Minho takes the hint, clasping your hand in his, sending a smile your way. Emotion floods your body, making you feel as if you could take on the whole world with just his hand in yours.

When the two of you enter into the breakfast area, you subconsciously drop his hand, suddenly aware of how many people are around, fans and members alike. Felix looks up, noticing your presence and waves you over. There's two seats available, one at the end of the table next to Jeongin and the other next to Felix, which also happens to be directly across from Hyunjin, who all of a sudden looks a little too interested in his food.

Without a second thought you go to take a seat next to Jeongin, but Minho beats you to it. He flops down in the seat smiling cheekily.

'Asshole' you think, falling back into the habit of calling Minho names. He may not hate you anymore, but that doesn't diminish his love for annoying the absolute shit. However, instead of making you roll your eyes in annoyance, it makes your hands twitch by your side, nerves flooding your body head to toe. You know it was his plan, but it really is not helpful at all right now.

Felix smiles up at you, yet if you take all the tension into account it could arguably be a grimace. He pulls the chair out, and you take a seat; your back is a little too straight and fingers are still picking at your cuticles. You don’t want to raise any questions, but sometimes you really can’t help your nervous habits.

There had been plenty of chatter when walking up to the table but it had stopped suddenly upon Felix waving you over. It hasn’t resumed since, and the looks your members are giving each other are not subtle in the slightest. It’s obvious they know something.

Just like you had thought, word must have gotten around fast. It’s just a question of who spilled the beans and what it is they all think they know. Is it about the fight with Hyunjin? The fact that you and Minho had slept in the same bed? Or perhaps it was because you were seen wearing his shirt this morning?

But who knows? Before you even have time to fully ponder the questions or for anyone to break the uncomfortable silence, there’s a loud noise gathering everyone’s attention.

Hyunjin had sent one final look of panic to Felix before abruptly pushing his chair back and storming out. Everyone looked up in shock and suddenly it’s very clear that they were not aware of the fight. How are you gonna be able to explain this one? You don't even understand what happened. I mean sure, Hyunjin and you had fought and you didn't make up yet so it was uncomfortable, but you don't know why he would feel the need to make a scene like that. You guys had interacted just fine this morning. Maybe he was just uncomfortable with the idea of having to pretend everything was fine. You aren't exactly hiding the fact that you aren't happy with him right now. Due to basically being two peas in a pod, Hyunjin can usually read you like a book.

You glance over at Felix in hopes that he knows what that was all about. It's not much help when all he sends back is a shrug and an apologetic smile.

Unsurprisingly, there were few words spoken after this; the majority of the silence only being filled with concerned looks.

So breakfast was a bit awkward to say the least...

Unfortunately, that is extremely worrisome considering the schedule for the rest of the day. You guys don't have time for awkwardness and unsettled fights. Yet, you also don't have time to resolve anything. A never ending cycle of tension, how exciting. It's one of the not so fun parts of being an idol; the fakeness of everything. You just have to hope your groups acting is going to be on point enough today to not draw any attention. Fans were nitpicky and it was always best to avoid as many rumors as possible. With how close you and Hyunjin are, there's bound to be questions if you don't act all buddy buddy like you usually do.

The group takes two separate cars to the venue, and you can't help but notice the members are a little different than normal. More specifically, Minho has taken the seat next to you which is typically occupied by Hyunjin. In fact, Hyunjin isn't even in the car anymore.

This isn't the first time the cars were specifically divided out. Years ago, they had to switch which car Minho was in to keep the chaos under control. Previously, Minho had been in the same car as you, but once tensions started running high between the two of you, he had immediately been switched in hopes to keep the peace. It seems that was exactly the goal of today. God, you need to stop making so many issues within the group.

It seems that as the day progresses things are just getting more stressful. Hyunjin is avoiding you, and you can't help but feel as if you're messing up the group's dynamics. Suddenly, you're reminded of the awkward encounter with Chan this morning. If he figures out everything that has happened, is he going to be frustrated with you? Maybe you just never really fit in the group to begin with.

With every mile closer to the venue, you feel like you're approaching your doom. This is not the right mental state to go on stage, but that wasn't exactly an option, now was it?

So for now, you simply grip Minho's hand tighter, hoping to quell the growing anxiety inside you. You just have to make it through the concert and then you can resolve all the issues happening.

But it's never that easy is it?

Taglist: @armystay89 @thisisnotjacinta @silentreadersthings @seungminsapuppy @linos-kitten @hafrenstay @redstayrosie

#slvt4felix #stray kids #skz #lee know #hyunjin #felix #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #lee know x reader #lee minho x reader #enemies to lovers #hurt/comfort #skz angst #stray kids angst #stray kids imagine #skz imagines #stray kids imagines #skz oneshots #stray kids oneshot #stray kids ninth member #skz ninth member #stray kids 9th member #skz 9th member #lee minho #stray kids fluff #skz fluff #bang chan

[malarign]

situationship

(when you’re not dating yet)

contains: bf!hyungline x fem!reader | genre: fluff | tw! none i think? lmk | wc: 0,7k

reblogs are highly appreciated!!!

author’s note: i’m so delulu bc of this, it’s not funny anymore

you’ll find maknae line version here!

Lee Heeseung | 이희승

very confident

Heeseung is the type of guy who knows what he wants. And what he currently wants is to make sure you and everybody around you know how much he is interested in you. Honestly, to say he’s interested in you is an understatement since all he can think of is you. Every single thought that comes to his mind goes back to you.

Everything just comes so naturally like playing with your hair whenever you’re telling him about your day or preferably when you’re telling him about your day and playing with HIS hair, all while he lays on your lap comfortably.

Obscene flirting with you around his friends is also part of the pack. Heeseung just can’t help eyeing you up and down and complimenting your look. But not just any compliment will do. His praises are always very descriptive, letting you know his exact thoughts, just like he has no filter (he doesn’t).

Park Jongseong | 박종성

confident but a little oblivious

Jay didn’t even realize something started to happen between you two. It took him two conversations with his friends and three compliments from you to finally see not only it’s him who’s interested but that the feeling is mutual. His confidence went up, but still, he did not let anybody know how it made him feel, and let me tell you he got butterflies just from thinking about it.

What is so attractive to him about you is how ambitious you are, and how much knowledge you possess. Your versatility in interests makes you unique, that’s why he started researching them, just to impress you in a deep conversation or even just playful chitchat.

But what truly makes your situationship obvious to everybody around you is how truly clingy you get whenever you are close. Hand-holding and even hugging from behind is not enough, so he started inviting you to sit on his lap (which you gladly accepted), making it your new default seat each time you’re spending together.

Sim Jaeyun | 심재윤

pretty confident

Jake is usually a menace just to society but now that he has you in his eye he doesn’t even let you forget and miss him for a second. At first, you could think it’s an exaggeration, but let’s be for real, when Jake falls for somebody he devotes himself to that person, leaving no room for doubt of his feelings.

Some could think it’s pretty annoying the way he called you and send you voice memos almost every second, updating you on each hour of his day. What could possibly cross the line was how he almost every day called you in the middle of the night. He wasn’t trying to cover the fact he missed you and wanted to listen to your voice, making it your new favorite part of the day, which you waited for every day.

What actually made a blush creep to your cheeks was how many nicknames he used. Of course, his favorite ones were either basic “baby” or a little bit more jokingly said “wifey”(was it though?). None of them made you uncomfortable, especially after you started to use just as cliche and cheesy nicknames on him.

Park Sunghoon | 박성훈

very shy

Now, when it comes to Sunghoon he wishes he could be more confident but as soon as he sees you he can’t help a blush that paints his cheeks and tip of ears. He’s the definition of admiring from afar, watching you with a fond smile talking to your friends, and enjoying games you play.

That doesn’t mean he does it all the time. Just as much as he’s a shy person he’s also a jealous one. When he likes somebody he wants them just for him, and him only. That’s why when he feels a little bit neglected he gently taps your shoulder earning not only your whole attention but also your beautiful and charming smile, that only he is worthy of seeing.

But when you are completely alone or just without any of your friends he absentmindedly starts to play with your fingers while either watching a movie or just chitchatting in a cafe. He does it ever so gently and delicately as if your fingers were just as fragile as glass. The way his fingers brush against yours makes your stomach do flips and fill with butterflies.

thank you for reading! back to the masterlist

taglist: (open) @nicholasluvbot, @en-chantedtomeetyou, @skzenhalove, @nfrgirl, @kpoprhia, @redm4ri, @jaelaxies

#kflixnet #enhanet #enhypen #enhypen fic #enhypen fluff #enhypen imagine #enhypen drabble #enhypen headcanons #enhypen x reader #enhypen x you #enhypen x y/n #heeseung headcanons #heeseung drabble #heeseung x reader #jay headcanons #jongseong headcanons #jay x reader #jongseong x reader #jake headcanons #jaeyun headcanons #jake x reader #jaeyun x reader #sunghoon headcanons #sunghoon x reader #sunghoon drabbles

[sbadaboo]

⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚ Matched up

(Bada Lee x reader)

C/w : crude language, forced marriage, matchmaking, homophobia is implied, abusive parents, parental abuse (minor violence), drug mentioned, smoking…

A/n : just some warning

-> this story will be a series so don’t worry if the characters seem to hate each other, it won’t stay that way

-> I’d like to remind y’all that English is not my first language and that I make a lot of mistakes (I simply hope it won’t be noticeable or troublesome)

-> This is a fanfiction, none of the events are based on real life events and I even if the characters have the names of real people, they have been used purely for fictional purposes.

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You lighted a cigarette and placed delicately in between your lips, with a quick movement, that perfectly reflected how smoking was a habit for you. You were in your own bubble and with how peaceful you looked, it was complicated to guess the actual atmosphere around you.

Indeed, the music was pounding in your ears and the laughter and screams of the people around you could almost cover the loud music. Almost. But still, you weren’t moving, it was just you and your cigarette and also the two entire bottles of alcohol that you had just finished two minutes earlier. Honestly, you were just drunk and all the people trying to talk to you just seemed so far away.

Oh, how much you loved your life.

Nothing was better than enjoying life with your friends at 3 a.m on your yacht.

You loved your friend.

You loved your yacht.

And you loved being drunk.

And that’s with these enjoyable thoughts that you drift off to sleep, a cigarette still trapped between your lips and a faint smile on your lips.

.

.

.

Hands were on your body and you could hear your name being called. You were being shaken so hard by those hands that you couldn’t help but wake up. As you slowly opened your eyes, the sun filled your vision and all you could do was growl in discomfort. You squinted a little before actually noticing your surroundings. Your friends were all sleeping in different parts of the boat, in positions that didn’t look comfortable at all. Your eyes then followed the hands on your body just for them to fall on the face of your own mom.

“What the fuck are you doing here ?” You asked, your voice rough from your hangover and from how much you screamed the lyrics of some stupid songs yesterday.

“Language !” She squeaked before lifting you up, abruptly from where you were lying, making you grimaced and completely dizzy.

She then started shaking you again with a displeased scowl on her face.

“S-stop… stop !” You exclaimed, removing her hands from your body and taking a step back. You then straightened your clothes and looked her dead in the eyes before asking : “What do you want ?”.

But perhaps the tone didn’t please her because the disgust could be read in her eyes and without a second thought, she slapped your cheek.

Your reaction showed the signs of a routine. You were used to your mom lashing out on you and because of that, you didn’t bat an eye at that slap, you just waited for her to tell you what you did wrong this time.

“How dare you be here instead of at the date I took days planning for you ? ” she screamed. “Your…” she looked around, pointing an accusatory finger at the mess that your friend and you had made the night before. “Your lifestyle is starting to spread among the good families and your chances of getting married keep on decreasing. You little ungrateful brat, you don’t know how much your existence is tarnishing my reputation. ” You listened to her ranting but after a while, you couldn’t help but yawn which she noticed immediately. “I’m going to find a husband to tame you and after that you can say goodbye to partying, getting drunk because you’ll be too busy carrying your husband's kids.”

You tried your hardest to not gagged because what your mother was describing seemed like the deepest part of hell.

You were 24 for fuck’s sake. You had your own business that was making so much profit but all your mom cared about was the fact that you were an unmarried woman enjoying her youth.

“I don’t have time to think about marriage.” You simply answered and to that she slapped you again.

“Don’t raise your voice at me !” She said before turning on her heels, going back from where she came from.

You knew she was up to something and you weren’t that excited to find out what was her new way to ruin your life.

Sighting, you slowly sat on the floor, suddenly too tired to stand.

“Your cheeks must hurt a lot.” You heard a voice mumbling close to you, making you flinched.

“God, you scared me !” You gasped. “When did you wake up ?” You asked Yunjin who was still lying on the floor.

“I mean… your mom screams a lot.” She giggled.

“I know… she’s so annoying.” You answered.

.

.

.

Bada’s life was perfect.

She truly had nothing to complain about. She had started her business 3 years ago and it had flourished so fast that she was known among the most notorious circles. What was her company ? She was the boss of a prosperous matchmaking company for wealthy people.

And she was truly popular. All the affluent figures were passing through her to find a good match with an equivalent prosperity since rich people don’t mix with the plebeian.

There was something that she was so proud of : she never failed to create a good couple where both parties were beneficial for each other.

Today, she had a new meeting with a mother who wanted to find the perfect match for her daughter. Usually, her employees would take care of that but when she realized that the woman was a part of the Shin family. She was such an influential person and if she managed to marry her daughter to a good man, that would make her business skyrocketed.

The woman that entered the place was an elegant middle aged woman. She had a smile that looked friendly but also quite cold. She was an intimidating woman and Bada was really curious about what her daughter looks like.

Bada stood up to bow slightly, indicating the couch in front of her with her hands for the woman to sit. And once the woman was sitting, Bada followed on the other couch.

“I heard that you were capable of miracles.” Said the mother without introducing herself, not that she needed to.

“I’m flattered by your words Mrs. Shin.” Chuckled Bada.

“Those are not my words though. Not yet but I would love to see if the rumors are true.” She said before searching for something in her bag while Bada tried not to show any discomfort by what she had just said. “This is my daughter.” She said showing a photo on her phone.

Bada took a look at it and she found a beautiful girl, smiling widely at the camera. If this was the appearance of her daughter, Bada was sure that there would be no problem to find her a good husband, as long as she was not as rude as her mother.

“Don’t be fooled by her appearance, she’s a debauched woman.” Scoffed Mrs. Shin and Bada couldn’t help but be shocked by the way this woman was talking about her daughter.

“There’s nothing I can’t do.” Bada finally said respectfully. “I would simply need a meeting, and I’m sure I can find someone fit for your daughter.”

“I’ll leave it in your hands then.” Declared the middle aged woman as she stood, leaving the contact information of her daughter on the table.

Bada bowed a last time, feeling slightly uneasy about what was coming.

.

.

.

You laughed loudly as you received a text from your mother saying that she enrolled you in a matchmaking program. You couldn’t believe it, she had actually lost her mind. How dare she put her nose in her daughter's private life like this ?

A few days after this text, you had received an email from “HeartSync” and you assumed it was this matchmaking program your mother was talking about. The mail mentioned a meeting but you didn’t bother reading it entirely and to be polite, you answered simply that you were busy with no time for a meeting. You thought that would be enough but, oh, how wrong were you.

The following day, you received a mail destined to you at your workplace but when you realized where it was coming from you simply tore it apart before throwing it in the trash, not thinking much about it.

It lasted a week. For a whole week, you received mails and letters, always more persistent than the preceding one. It felt like you needed to get a restraining order against this HeartSync company. But at least you were only receiving letters that could be thrown or deleted quickly so you didn’t care that much.

You wanted to slap yourself just for thinking that because you just had brought the worst luck upon yourself.

The following week, while you were working in your office on the floor above the showroom you own, your assistant walked in. For a second, you thought that she was bringing another letter but that was before she opened her mouth :

“Someone is waiting outside and she is saying that you two have to talk. Should I let her in ?”

“Is she someone I know?” You asked instead of answering.

“I don’t think so.” She said after pondering for a second.

You hummed, thinking before allowing your assistant to open the door. If it was someone dangerous then the bodyguard standing outside of your office would step in within a second.

Your assistant nodded before getting out, probably to tell the woman outside to come in. As the door opened a second time, it was not your assistant who entered but a woman who had a slender body and was wearing a nice and fitting black suit. Her hair was black with some hidden blonde hair under the top layer of strands. She was pretty, you thought. But the minute you saw her smile, you changed your mind, she was actually gorgeous even though there was something unsettling about that smile but you simply couldn’t point it out.

With as much respect you could gather, you invite her to sit on the chair in front of your desk.

Bada looked at you up and down, taking notice of your clean and elegant look that she could guess was a Chanel tweed jacket. You seemed to be quite a glamorous and well put together lady which surprised Bada, still having in mind the words that your mother used to describe you.

“My name is Lee Bada.” She said after realizing the silence. “I am the CEO of HeartSync, perhaps you have heard through all the mails that have been sent recently.”

Your smile completely fell off. Of course, she was sent here by your mom. You signed, slightly massaging your temples, suddenly feeling exhausted.

“I don’t think I need to guide you to the door.” You said coldly.

“I guess marriage is a sensitive topic for you. It’s okay, I’ve met a lot of people like you.” Claimed Bada.

“Oh ? And did you invade their workplace with importunate mails too ?” You snickered.

Bada’s smile stayed unwavering but the hand on her thigh clenched slightly. “Well… It must have been quite bothersome and I apologize for that. However, I was simply doing the task that had been assigned by your mother. She really hoped that you could find a good partner and I’m here to help you with that.”

“You misunderstood something.” You answered her. “She doesn’t care if whoever I’m going to marry is a good person or not, she wants wealth and she’s tired of me tarnishing her reputation, that’s why she wants me to find a husband. Unfortunately for her, I couldn’t care less about what she wanted. And you, you’re a monster enriching yourself off of people’s desperation. I know exactly how your little business works. Personally? Good partner? You’re just creating couples with the same social status. Everything is about gaining more money and I’m not interested in that.”

Bada wouldn’t say that you were wrong. Actually, you were absolutely right. Bada’s job could be quite awful and she knew that what she was doing was more of a business contract than genuine love but how could you blame her, the matchmaking industry was giving her so much profit.

“Your mother thought that you would say that.” Eventually said Bada. “And she gave me a list of insults and threats to use to convince you.” She laughed a little. “However, that’s not really how I work. I want what is the best for my clients. It is true that a wedding is a way of improving wealth but what we prioritize is the human relationship. Allowing a matchmaking company to do the work will help you save time in your research. ”

What she said sounded like a business proposal and it was boring you to death.

“It is also important to say that we won’t throw you into a date so abruptly. Every month, we organized social gatherings for single people. Most of the time, the parents are present which helps us create bonds among the family and set up the future dates with the potential match approved by the family.”

This, however, peaked your attention. Your mom would be present at this social gathering? You tried to hide your mischievous smile as you quickly straightened your back.

“Wow ! Perhaps I misjudged your matchmaking company or whatever. When would that social gathering be held?” You asked.

“This weekend.” She replied.

“I see. Then I will see you there.” You responded, standing up, forcing Bada to stand up too, by politeness. You took her hand into yours, shaking it, making her spurt out a surprised noise. “It was a pleasure meeting you.”

And after you shoved her outside, making her completely overtaken by the situation but if her convicting speech actually worked then she could go back to work, the mind appeased. Little did she know that everything would go downhill this weekend because of you.

.

.

.

Bada spent the last few days working on this social gathering. Food, decorations, people. Everything had to be perfect for Mrs. Shin. It was a chance that she couldn’t let pass. If she managed to have the Shin family on her success list then everyone would rush to her company. It was her chance to become bigger and to destroy all competition.

She was glad the description that Mrs. Shin had made was completely wrong. Her daughter was everything but a debauched woman. You owned a showroom that was the place a lot of high end women were spending their time and money. You were really elegant but eventually, she noticed that you and your mother had the same witty attitude. But nothing was impossible for Bada, she was going to find the perfect man for you.

When the day finally came, Bada was feeling way more stressed than she ever had. Her hands were sweaty and she tried her best not to wipe them on her dress. For now, she looked quite put together with her black silk dress.

The room was already full of people but Mrs. Shin and her mother were nowhere to be seen. Perhaps they had found someone else? She thought. Was her service not good enough? Where had she messed up ? Perhaps you didn’t like how she talked to you the other day? She tried not to show her nervousness by greeting all the people present.

Fortunately, she saw the face of Mrs. Shin after an hour and she rushed to greet Mrs. Shin but she halted after taking a look at her face. She looked really displeased and Bada wasn’t sure what had angered her, but looking nervous couldn’t be an option and because of that, she walked up to her, bowing respectfully.

“I’m glad to see you here.” Said Bada, looking around, a little bit confused. “But where is your daughter?”

“She’s coming.” She snarled.

And coming, you were. You walked in like you owned the place and Bada should be offended by that, because she was the one actually owning the place. But how could she, when she was so captivated by your looks. You were radiating confidence, which she was not in that moment, making her feel self conscious about herself. While she was pretending to have it, you were not acting. However, her awe quickly disappeared when she realized why your mother was making that face. You were wearing a black dress, a really pretty dress but also a very short one, clearly not the type of dress you were expecting to see in a high end social gathering where sophistication was required. The dress had a lace corset integrated that made your bust parts see through. It was indecent. That was the only word that could describe this outfit.

She walked up to her mom, standing right behind her to bow slightly at you but on your face, no sign of respect could be seen.

“It’s a pleasure meeting you again,hm…” she started, trailing off at the end of her sentence.

“Lee Bada.” Reminded the matchmaker.

“Yes ! That’s your name.” You giggled, knowing it would annoy your mother. And you were right, you felt her glare piercing your skin. You looked elsewhere to hide your smile and you noticed something interesting. “Well if you’ll excuse me, I would love to go around and say hi.”

Bada looked pleased to know that you were going to get involved in this social gathering however, your mother was frowning her eyebrows like she knew your polite act was nothing but a facade.

You saw someone in the distance that you recognised right away and quickly excused yourself to go stand by his side, knowing that it would surprise him.

“ Are you looking for a wife?” You asked from behind and when he turned around, his dull eyes suddenly sparkled.

“No fucking way, you’re here too ?” Replied Wonbin, a smile on his lips.

“Unfortunately.” You answered, standing next to him. “But it’s more surprising to see you here. How did your parents convince you?”

“They said that if I didn’t come, they would make me go back to their house to live with them.” Sighed Wonbin.

“I’m so glad my mom has not resorted to that yet. That’s the most terrifying threat ever.”

Wonbin could only nod in agreement. He wishes he was like and could find a way to emancipate himself from his family but starting business was not as easy as it used to be. Until now, he had been forced to live off his family allowance and it was hell. Seeing you here was the best gift the universe could offer.

“But why are you here?” He asked after pondering. “It’s not like your mother has something she can use against you since you’re totally independent from her.”

“I’m not here to look for a husband,”you answered truthfully. “I want to make sure my mom will never pay a matchmaker for me.”

Wonbin seemed hooked by what you just said and you two started a conversation about how parents should leave their adult children alone and not force them to get married.

Bada looked at you two from afar and she couldn’t be happier. If you managed to sympathize with someone, it meant that this event was a total success. The stress finally left her body for a few minutes but of course, something had to go wrong.

Bada felt a presence in her back and she quickly turned around to find Mrs. Shin with a scowl on her face.

“Stop these two from talking.” She growled.

“Hm…why ?” Asked Bada, since she couldn’t understand what was wrong.

“That’s one of her friends.” She responded, annoyed. “It’s one of her drinking partners. I refuse for them to be seen together. It will just destroy her image even more. Keep an eye on her and make sure she doesn’t do anything stupid.”

Bada quickly understood and she walked up to you, clasping her hands together.

Coming back to you. You were still talking vividly with Wonbin, letting him keep you up with the recent gossip.

“You know who else has been dragged here ?” He asked with a playful smile.

“Don’t make me guess. Tell me.” You declared, frowning a little.

“Well… first it seems that you two had the same dress code because she’s wearing a really sluty dress too.”

You pondered for a while, trying to think of which one of your friends had as horrible parents as you and Wonbin. But you didn’t have time to actually get the answers out of Wonbin because you felt someone coming to your side.

Lee Bada was here, wearing her usual smile. “Mr. Park, if you will excuse us. There’s some people who would like to meet Ms. Shin.”

You faked a whine, looking at Wonbin with pleading eyes and he answered by lifting his hand, reaching for you but you were too far. Once you guys were done with your dramatic act, you turned to Bada who was still smiling at you. You had to lift your head a little to make sure you were looking at the woman in her eyes since she was at least a head taller than you.

You finally realised why Bada was so unsettling for you. It was a customer smile and they were actually nothing genuine about it. Bada’s smile was as fake as the relationship she was creating. She was not different from the other rich people in your life. You still followed her to where she was bringing you and of course, you walked up to some insignificant man who was only looking at your breast.

This conversation was the most boring thing you had done this evening. After the mas started to talk about his income, you completely stopped responding, letting Bada, who didn’t seem to want to leave your side, filling up the gaps.

After fifteen minutes of hell, you noticed someone with a really short red dress walking in front of you and winking at you. It pass unnoticed by the two talking in front of you but you noticed it right away.

“Im going to the bathroom.” You murmured in Bada’s ear before going immediately not letting her stopping you.

Bada left her gaze lingering on you before going back to her boring conversation with this guy (she had already forgot his name).

You entered the bathroom, full of people, and went ponding right away on one of the stalls doors where you could see shoes that you recognised. The women in the bathroom quickly walked away, outraged by such a display of rudeness.

You didn’t care and when the door unlocked and you saw the woman who had walked in front of you earlier, you smiled. At first Wonyoung looked pissed but when she realised who it was, she giggled, reassured.

“You have no manners.” She exhaled, walking past you to the sink and washing her hands. You watched as Wonyoung dried her hands and then proceeded to apply a new layer of lipstick. Making sure that no one was watching, you got something out of your bag and when Wonyoung noticed what it was, her eyes widened. “Are you suicidal? Why do you have that here?”

She tried to take what eas in your hands but you were quicker, moving the little plastic bag to your other hand.

“Don’t you want to have a little party with me?” You asked, feeling playful and agitating the little container.

“You’re not serious right now?” She huffed.

“I’m dead serious but I’m not crazy enough to do weed in this public place.” You said putting the weed sack in your bag. “However, when we’ll be out of here, you, Wonbin and me…” you said, letting the end of your sentence unsaid, knowing that she would immediately understand.

“You don’t know how much I would love that.” She mumbled. “But my parents are here and I can’t go anywhere untill I have a wedding contract or something.” She said, apologetically.

“Don’t worry. I have a plan.”

She tilted her head in confusion and you approached your mouth near her ear to murmur something that made her giggle immediately.

“Let’s do that !”she exclaimed, already exiting the bathroom, feeling excited. You walked behind her, letting your gaze admiring her dress that was completely in lace. “Stop looking at my ass.” She said like she could see you.

“I can’t help it, your dress is even shorter than mine.” You uttered in awe which makes her laugh.

As you got back in the main hall, you immediately went to the bar where everyone could see you. You walked past your mother and Bada who was probably blaming the young woman who had letting you escape. You almost felt bad for what you were about to do to her. Almost. It’s not like Bada cared about you that much, you were sure it wouldn’t hurt her.

“Hm… I think we need to grab everyone attention.” You whispered to Wonyoung.

“Don’t worry. I got it.” She whispered back.

She looked at the bar behind her and she then dropped a tray of glasses on the floor, which resonated loudly in the room making everyone look in this way. She didn’t loose a second, she quickly grabbed your cheek before kissing you passionately. It didn’t even catch you off guard since you had planned that, you kissed her back with as much passion you could gather.

Shocked gasps quickly filled the room and even the classical music stopped playing. Everyone was looking at the two women kissing, offended by such an act. It seemed that only Wonbin was appreciating the show, sipping slowly his champagne.

Your mom was the first to move, wanting to separate you two quickly and save a little bit of her reputation but Bada had longer leg and she grabbed your arm quicker. She was dragging you outside, you realised.

“I’ll see you tonight, my love !” You shouted at Wonyoung.

“I already miss your lips !” She screamed back, laughing. You saw her giving a head tilt to Wonbin who answered with a thumbs up.

You were before the exiting doors and finally Bada let go of your arm, violently.

“What the fuck.” She muttered but you heard it and it made you snicker. So this woman wasn’t as stiff as she pretended to be. “W-why would you that ?” She asked in desbelief.

“Do what?” You responded, innocently.

“You know !” She shouted, her cheeks red, clearly embarrassed to say that out loud. “I thought you agreed to come here. I thought it was okay.”

“Then you’re probably stupider than you look.” You claimed, smiling.

“Excuse me?” She huffed, clearly offended by your words but she didn’t have time to retort anything since your mon emerged from the hall, looking angrier than usual.

Your mother looked at you with such a disappointed and disdain look that you almost felt bad. Almost and then you remembered that you mom insisted on you being here and she bro that on herself.

She sighed, she wanted to scream at you but you were still in public and looking at you disgusted her so much. She just decided to give up.

“Just go.” She declared and you cheered loudly, making her even more angry but you didn’t care, you were finally free.

You quickly exited the place, leaving the two women alone.

As soon as Mrs. Shin gaze met Bada’s, the young woman bowed trembling.

“I deeply apologise…” she whispered but she was quickly cut off.

“No need. I shouldn’t have trusted you to do the impossible. You’re pathetic company has way more fame than needed. I was fooled by everyone’s opinion, you’re just another new money person thinking you can scam the high end world. Let me tell you something, with my words, I give you a week before you go bankrupt.”

Bada took a little time to process the threat and she realised how much those words coukd

impact her. She quickly readjusted herself and grappled Mrs. Shin hands, who, disguised, freed herself immediately.

“Please give me another chance ! I did a mistake but it won’t happen anymore.” Shouted Bada but Mrs. Shin wasn’t listening and made her way to the exit. “Please give me a month ! Just a month and you daughter will be married.”

This, however, grabbed her attention. She turned around, letting her cold gaze meeting Bada’s pleading eyes.

“You’ll find her a husband ?” She asked.

“I manage a marital company. It’s my job to create marriage.”

Mrs. Shin let the offer pondering in her mind before nodding, giving Bada a last chance.

“You have a month.” She reminded the woman.

“I won’t disappoint you.” She murmured, closing her eyes, feeling reassured.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Wow you guys read all of that •o•!!

I hoped you liked this first chapter and I’m impatient to write way more.

(I don’t have a tag list yet so if you wan to be notified every time I post please leave me a comment !!)

#bada lee #bada x reader #fanfic #street woman fighter 2 #street woman fighter x reader #swf2 x reader #bada lee fic #bada lee x reader #fanfiction

[hanjsquokka]

Better Than The Books - [ Han Jisung ]

📚 SYNOPSIS : Growing up, you were a sucker for romance. The thought of finding the one was your dream since you were kid. You were searching for true love in the wrong places because the only one you needed was right next to you.

GENRE : romcom, fake dating, best friends to lovers, idiots in love, college au, fluff, smut, slight angst

PAIRING : han jisung × fem!reader

CONTENT WARNING : will contain swearing, mature content such as drinking, smut (probably?), and a mean minho (but i love him very much so no hate <3)

minors dni. if you click read, you agree to nsfw content

RULE NO. 1 - make minho jealous : You thought you found love when you dated Lee Minho — the resident bad boy of your college. He dropped you off at your classes on his motorcycle, took you out for late night rides and gave you flowers. But you were just another girl for him. He broke your heart, leaving your one and only best friend Han Jisung to pick up the pieces. You wanted to get back at your ex-boyfriend for playing with you like that. How? You fake date your best friend of course.

WORD COUNT : 2.5K

TAGLIST : @raeinydays @moon0fthenight @skzstaykatsy @imsiriuslyreal @rockstrhanji @bbokari711 @cupidcures @chans-muffin @adestayskz @hyperpixie

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The neon lights were almost blinding as music vibrated throughout the club. Hot, sweaty people moving to the beats as they danced all around. The air smelled of beer. Your own shot glass of vodka was in your hands as you swayed to the music. The adrenaline still hadn't worn off from the performance that ended a few moments ago. The boys were done, as far as you knew, so he'd be here any second. It was like he did it on purpose, flaunting those dark curls — a hairstyle you mentioned might look good on him. You hadn't expected for him to actually sport it at his band's first performance in a club off campus. Paired with that black shirt and those chains and rings — all train of thought left you as you downed your nth shot of vodka.

Maybe it was because of the alcohol coursing through your system, you thought it was him who was walking towards you with that lustful gaze. Jisung wrapped his hands low around your waist and pulled you closer. “How was I?” His voice was deep and seductive. His fingertips sent sparks of electricity wherever he touched you.

His mere presence sobered you up almost instantly, that faint buzz in your brain going away. “Amazing. As always. I like your hair.” Your hands went up to touch the dark locks. Blurred lines of friendship, but who cared? Maybe the rational part of you did, wondering if this was all a game or not. It was you who started it, but Han Jisung hated losing. He was going to make sure he was victorious and he was going to make sure he enjoyed teasing you along the way.

“Someone mentioned I might look good in them.” A smirk played on his lips as you met his eyes again. You could stare at him for ages and never get bored. His honeyed skin. His big brown eyes. That heart shaped smile. Rules were flying out the window as you felt a magnetic pull from him, drawing you closer. He was like a siren and you were his prey, his alluring voice being the only thing he needed to lure you into his trap. You felt like you were thirteen again, realizing that you have fallen for your own best friend. Even though it's been a decade since then, the feelings were still fresh. And now… all you had to do was close the distance. “Y/n…” He murmured. His lips were so close. “I'm sorry —”

Two weeks earlier

Of all days, today was the day your alarm decided to betray you. Final exams were coming up and your professor told the class he'd be taking a special lecture to cover everything on the syllabus — but your alarm just chose to not ring and you ended up missing the entire 10AM class.

Okay, maybe it wasn't a good idea to stay up reading romance novels after you finished studying but in your defense, you've had a rough week. You thought you found love when you dated Lee Minho — the resident bad boy of your college. He dropped you off at your classes on his motorcycle, took you out for late night rides and gave you flowers. But you were just another girl for him. He broke your heart exactly three months after he made it official. At the café where you went on your first date with him.

In his words, I'm sorry Y/n but you're just not it for me and I met this other girl I really liked.

Dick move, Lee Minho.

You went through the five stages of depression in the span of three days only to wind up at stage two again — anger. It infuriated you to know that Minho did not, not only to you, but so many other girls. Your friends warned you about him being a player. But your naive self thought you could change him.

Bullshit.

The past day and a half, you were only thinking about one thing — how to get back at him. How do you show him that he is just another guy and that you could do so much better. You ended up reading. Reading calmed you down and gave you a peace of mind. At least that's what you told yourself every time you picked up a book. Last night, you read Better Than The Movies at two in the morning, fueled only by Red Bull and the need to know if Liz and Wes kissed or not.

Romance novels were your thing. It was what bonded you and your mother before she passed away. She read fairytales about a princess finding her prince and living happily ever after, away from evil stepmothers and wicked witches because true love triumphed over all right? You've always believed in the concept of love and soulmates. You believe that the one for you was out there, waiting to be found.

You thought it was Minho until he ended up as an asshole.

“Matcha frappuccino for the lady.” Jisung set down a coffee cup with your favorite Starbucks drink, instantly brightening up your mood. You picked it up and gulped down quite a bit of the cold drink. Jisung chuckled, setting down his baseball hat and running his hand through his hair. “I just blew half my wallet on that and you finished it in less than a minute.”

“Very funny. I just love coffee. Especially this very specific coffee.”

“Because it's expensive?”

“Because I only get to have it when someone buys it for me cause I am broke and I cannot afford this.” Jisung rolled his eyes to your response. Your best friend had been unusually kind this week — you figured it was the whole Minho thing. He was well acquainted with your ex-boyfriend because his band mates from 3RACHA were in the same class as him and they were his friends. You've known Jisung for longer than you can remember. It was like you two were destined to be friends. Your parents were friends which ended up in you two becoming friends. You were also, coincidentally, born only a day apart and lived right next door to each other.

He was the one constant thing in your life. He was there when you fell down a slide and scratched you knee. He was there when you first learned how to ride a bike. He was there when your mom died. He was there when your dad married another lady. You didn't hate your stepmother, no, she was actually a nice person. But Jisung was there during every cross road you had in life. You were practically joined at the hip and you knew everything about each other. Your bond ran so much deeper than it seemed.

Of course you had a silly little crush on him when you were twelve but that crush soon died when he go his first girlfriend and then another and as the years went by, that crush dulled out. You were happy with him being your best friend.

“Earth to Y/n?” Jisung waved his hand in front of your face. You blinked out of your little daydream and focused back on him. “This is why you're not supposed to stay up so late studying.”

“Fun fact, I wasn't studying.”

He groaned. “Reading? Really?” He ran his hands through his dark hair. “Which book?”

“Better than the movies.”

“Ah, that one with the romance obsessed girl? What was her name… Linda — no, Liz! Yeah, Liz. I can see why you like it.”

You looked at him quizzically. Han Jisung didn't like romance novels so he certainly didn't read them. At least that's what he told you. Never in your whole life have you seen him read anything other than manga. Half of his ego was because of his abnormally large collection of manga and anime. “How do you know the main character's name?”

“You were literally texting me about the book yesterday.”

“Oh yeah.” You still didn't remember texting him, but then again you probably did and you forgot because lately you seemed to have the memory of a goldfish.

“I think you should dial down on the caffeine.”

“Would you rather me drinking beer?”

“Oh god no. You're a nightmare when you're drunk.” Jisung laughed, which made you laugh too. He had a way of distracting you from whatever you were thinking about — in a good way. He didn't want you to get too into your own head, especially with what happened with Minho.

Your expression fell as soon as you thought about the boy. You just couldn't stop thinking about it. What did you do that made him uninterested? Where did you go wrong? Was it the lame jokes you made? Or how you dropped by his class every now and then so you could go somewhere for lunch?

Minho was a reserved person. To everyone else, he was a cold, yandere-type guy who was a player. To you, well, he was someone you loved dearly. Loved. Past tense. You hated him now. You hated him since the moment you saw him with another girl right in front of you. The same girl he told you not to worry about. So ironic, you mentally scoffed.

Two can play that game.

“Holy shit, you're actually insane.” That was Han Jisung's first reaction to your crazy idea. He started to pace around his apartment while you sat on the couch. “Don't just sit there and act like you haven't dropped a bomb on me!”

“It's a good idea.” You replied nonchalantly.

“Good idea? Good idea? Y/n, for the love of all things holy- the only way to describe your idea is insane. It's insanity. It's right up there with robbing a bank. Actually, robbing a bank would be easier.” He let out an exasperated sigh. “I need a drink.” He went to his fridge and took out a bottle of tequila and a small glass. After downing the cup, he turned back to you. “Let me get this straight, you want to fake date me — your best friend of the past twenty three years of our existence — just to get back at your ex-boyfriend? To make him jealous?”

“Yes.” You nodded.

“You want me to kiss you and hug you and go on dates with you?”

“Fake dates.” You clarified.

“Oh right, sorry. Fake dates.” He said sarcastically, rolling his eyes as he went back to pacing.

“And no kissing unless absolutely necessary.”

“Of course.” He massaged his temples before he turned around and walked towards where you were sitting. “Y/n. I ask this with pure love.” He crouched down right in front of you with the most concerned expression you've ever seen him in, placing his hands on your cheeks so you could look him straight in the eyes. “Have you lost your shit?”

Only Jisung could say something like that with an expression like that. You stood up from the couch and face him while crossing your arms. Jisung stood up as well, his hands in his hoodie pockets. “You're making this such a big deal. Everything is gonna be the same. It's just the both of us hanging out. We'll go to fun cafés or that amusement park you've been wanting to go to —”

“It's not a big deal for you.” He clenched his jaw and closed his eyes for a second before focusing on you again. You could tell there was so much more than he was letting on. He ran his hands through his hair and squatted to the ground with a loud groan. “You know I can't say no to you. Why are you doing this to me?”

“Two weeks. I promise. Two weeks and this is done and we can go back to being friends.” You said, trying to hide how desperate you were. “Please, Jisung.”

Usually, you could read your best friend like an open book. He was very expressive with his face and could barely hide whatever he was thinking of at that moment. But as the years went by, you could see he'd mastered the art of concealing his true feelings. Even now, you couldn't decipher what he was thinking behind those brown eyes as they became unfocused. “Why me? Why not… someone else you know?”

“Minho is not going to give a shit unless it's you. You're my best friend. You're the one guy I told him he would never have to worry about. Just like how he told me that she was just a friend. Just a friend, my fucking ass.” Your throat burned as you took a sharp inhale. “So are you going to help me or not?”

“I'll help you.” He said after a beat. He placed both his hands on the back of his neck and stared up at the ceiling. “I'll help you get your revenge.” He looked back at you. “But you have to promise me that we're going to be okay. I'm not risking my friendship over some dipshit.”

“We'll be fine. I promise.”

“You're confident.”

“Of course I am. What could go wrong?”

There was a flicker in his eyes and they darkened as he strode towards you, leaning down so you were eye to eye. He was so close, you could smell the cologne you bought him for Christmas. “Promise me you'll still be my friend, no matter what happens. Promise me you'll never hate me. Promise me… that this is all pretend.” You swallowed thickly and nodded. The words were stuck in your throat the second he came into such close proximity to you in such a… sensual way.

This was not the Han Jisung you knew. The shy, playful boy you've hung out with all your life. This was the Han Jisung your friends rave about. The Jisung from 3RACHA, the youngest in their little trio, one of the hottest boys on campus (your friend's words, not yours). You knew he wasn't a virgin by all means. He had his fair share of girlfriends and one night stands. But he was decent about it. You never understood why he kept breaking up with people, but you knew he wasn't someone like Minho. He wasn't dating for the thrill. But now… You didn't know what to think.

“Are you sure you can handle this?” He questioned, not moving a muscle. You were so close, you could feel his breath on your face and the minty smell from the gum he was chewing. Could you handle this? It was like he threw a lit matchstick onto kerosene. An old dull flame sparked inside you. A feeling you'd tucked away into the farthest part of your heart because you knew that Han Jisung was unattainable. He was your best friend. But with this new idea, you weren't sure how far you could blur the lines before friendship turned into something far more dangerous?

AUTHOR'S NOTE : I was so excited while writing this and I wanted it to be perfect, you know? So I rewrote the scenes multiple times. Let me know what you guys think <3

©hanjsquokka | copying, translating or republishing my work is strictly prohibited

#han jisung #han jisung stray kids #han jisung x reader #han imagines #han x you #skz #stray kids #skz imagines #skz x reader #skz fluff #skz scenarios #han jisung fluff #han jisung imagines #han jisung angst #han jisung x y/n #han jisung x you #stray kids han #han skz #( 🎤 ⸻ my works / han jisung )

[princhii]

↳ Enchanted Me

bada lee x fem!reader

again, not proofread! lit just whipped this up a few mins ago gulp…also very short!! it came to me in a vision.

↳ cw!: angst….UMMM a little suggestive but no full smut! uh. yea angst i guess…some fluff? y’all idk..

a/n: i’m in a mood y’all…this song does things to me so i just had to cook smtg up rq 😇

“i’m sorry, have i seen you before?”

heavy breathes were all that could be heard afterwards. the taller girl put her hands on her thighs as she hunched over, catching her breath— assuming she had ran to catch up with you. she stood tall again before looking down at you eagerly.

it was at this moment you had to decide. you either lie and tell her you have no idea who she is, or take this as an opportunity and tell her exactly how you feel. which was it going to be?

————— ୨୧ —————

a fit of giggles could be heard throughout the echoing walls of the tunnel underneath one of the local parks bridges. your stomach starts to hurt some due to all the laughing.

long slender arms were wrapped around your figure, fingers lightly tapping against you. the girl lowered her face to level with yours. with a grin, she looked at you and you could’ve sworn for at least a second, she was in love.

“tonight was really lovely, bada. thank you for taking me out.” you pecked the taller girl’s cheek, wanting to express your gratitude for the date. the girl blushed lightly, pink tints staining her cheeks. she gave a small hum and kissed your forehead, ruffling your hair.

“it was an honor. anything for a true princess like you, y/n.”

bada reached down to take your hand in hers. she gently caressed you before bringing it up to her mouth and placing soft tender kisses against your knuckles. it was you who was blushing now. letting go of your hand, she brought hers up to cup your face, her eyes sparkling, mouth parting slightly. your heart was pounding against your chest, as if it would combust any minute now. you looked down at her lips, so soft and puffy… bada seemed to be doing the same. she stroked your face lightly, wanting to be as delicate as possible as if you were fragile.

“y/n, you’re an actual princess…” she brushed a few hairs out of your face, tucking them behind your ear.

“so beautiful. my type!” bada giggled, pinching your cheeks lightly and kissing them afterwards.

and to all of this, all you could do was smile and try not to physically tremble. your heart quickly making its way to protrude out of your chest. it had been the first time in months since you’ve found someone you actually grew really interested in. it happened to be bada. you weren’t complaining though, never that. she was genuinely the first person you’ve met that didn’t instantly bore you. she was funny, charming, and understanding. how could you not be interested?

this had been exactly your 10th official date, not that you were keeping track or anything… and not once did she ever try to pressure you into doing something you weren’t comfortable with. which surprised you, because it was all you’ve ever known from previous dates. getting to know each other then boom, asking if you’re ‘dtf’ almost immediately. but no. not bada. you couldn’t even imagine her acting that way. she was far from disrespectful, not a single negative thing you could say about her, honestly. you admired her. what you felt for her could be described as puppy love. ironically enough, it was super fitting given the fact that bada was just like a big puppy herself. you loved it.

“alright well, it’s getting late. let me take you back home?”

you nodded, taking her hand in yours and squeezing lightly.

“that would be lovely, my prince bada!”

the girl’s lips curled into a small smile, walking you both towards her car.

꩜

“are you sure this is okay, y/n?” bada panted, a string of saliva connecting from each others lips.

you grabbed her hand to hold it, looking up at her as she hovered over you.

you don’t know how you both ended up like this, in your bed, underneath the sheets.

“i’m positive, bada.”

and with that, the older girl immediately slid down your body, peppering kisses and giving light squeezes. you couldn’t help but giggle and whine some underneath her touch. everything felt so pure, so right.

the giggling was immediately interrupted by a loud moan. her warm tongue giving you long licks, lapping up into your cunt. smaller fingers tangling into her hair, slightly tugging. bada herself let out a rather needy moan. she halted her intimate reactions for a second, taking her time to sprinkle more gentle kisses around your heat and inner thighs. you felt her lean against your thigh, looking up at you from where she was.

“you’re the most beautiful girl i’ve ever seen.” bada huffed out. her face as red as a tomato, her eyes blown out and hooded, her plump lips now coated in your own wetness. she traced circles into your skin, right above your heat. she leaned in to kiss the area she had been tracing, then looking up at you once more.

“i’ll make sure it’ll be a night to remember.”

and god, it was definitely a night to remember.

————— ୨୧ —————

that was the last time you had seen bada.

that was well over a year ago.

“hello?”

you snapped out of thoughts, reverting your attention back on her.

but you were once again quickly in your head as you looked at her. her hair was now both ash pink and black. different from the solid blue hair she had when the two of you had first met. her face still as beautiful as ever, her eyes still the same way that always made you melt. she was absolutely gorgeous. you felt your face heat up, just the way it would all the time before.

she looked at you eagerly, almost as if she was truly impatient. she was desperate to know your answer.

you looked up at the girl, opening your mouth to respond but was immediately shut down as you saw a figure jogging towards the two of you. your eyebrows furrowed once you made the figure out.

the guy came up towards you both, his arms wrapping around bada.

“you need to stop running off like that! you know it worries me.” he scolded the older girl. bada only chuckled.

in that moment— you knew your answer.

“with all due respect, i have no idea what you’re talking about. you must have me confused with someone else, im sorry.” you bowed slightly, getting ready to split ways. but before that, you noticed something.

bada’s face dropped.

was she seriously hoping it was you?

“please excuse my girlfriend, she’s been acting really strange lately. nothing personal!” the guy spoke again before grabbing her hand and walking the opposite direction. as they walked away hand in hand, bada turned to look over her shoulder. her eyes soft and pure. she gave you a weak smile. she knew it was you. of course she knew.

you sighed before heading your own way, quietly laughing to yourself. the guy— bada’s boyfriend being so clueless as to why she had been acting ‘strange’.

you knew exactly why.

it was the one year mark of that night.

a night to remember.

#Spotify #bada lee #bada lee x reader #bada #swf2 #swf2 x reader #i’m so sorry #i had to okay #l love this song so much fawkkk #bada lee x fem reader

[skzdarlings]

part v: bodyguard!felix x reader

masterlist.

PART I ; PART II ; PART III ; PART IV ; PART V ; PART VI ; PART VII ; PART VIII ; PART IX ; FINAL PART.

( READ ON AO3. )

Your father hires an inconspicuous bodyguard to accompany you at school and supervise you at home. What seems like an innocuous change in routine eventually spirals into a forbidden romance that grows more passionate over the years.

pairing: lee felix/reader content info: smut. violence. parental abuse. situations of intense peril overall. forced proximity. enemies2lovers. angst with eventual happy ending. (chapter word count; 18k words)

warning for this chapter: the usual story dynamic plus explicit violence, threatening behaviour, mentions of homophobia, implied suicidal ideation, and explicit sexual content.

-

Jisung sighs with agonizing sorrow as he turns his baseball cap around.  He tugs the brim low then steeples his hands on the desk. 

“I see,” he says grimly.  “I understand.  You found paradise in Hyunjin.  You had a good friendship, it made a good romance.  So you didn’t need a friend like me.  Now you come to me and say, ‘Han Jisung, come bowling with me and my evil boyfriend.’  But you don’t ask with respect.  You come into my house on the day my daughter is to be married and you ask me to go bowling—”

“We’re in earth science right now,” Felix says, bemused. 

“He’s quoting a movie,” you say.

“Ah.”

“And for the last time, Hyunjin is not my boyfriend,” you say.  “We’re just… hanging out.” 

Your second ‘date’ with Hyunjin was once more a family affair as your father invited him and his parents to the mansion for lunch.  It was professionally catered because your father does nothing by halves, so at least the food was good.  You and Hyunjin were mostly silent in the company of your parents, but you were allowed to walk around the yard by yourselves after. 

He looked good because he always looks good, in a fuzzy purple sweater and name-brand jeans.   His charisma was dwindled to nothing, though.  He kept his fists curled up in the sleeves of his sweater and smiled a lot of forced smiles.  His parents’ presence clearly does a number on his mentality.  He did unwind somewhat when you were finally alone, but it was hard to shake the feeling of observation, their eyes stalking your every step like animals in a zoo. 

“Maybe we should just have sex on the ground here,” you said dryly.  “See if that satisfies them.”

He burst out laughing at that, an endearingly wheezy sound that made you giggle too.   

“Wow,” he said, shaking his head.  “When you make jokes like that I remember you and Han Jisung really are best friends.” 

“Guilty,” you said with a snort.  “Stupid jokes is what is friendship is all about.” 

He smiled at the subject of friendship.  His expression was full of so much warmth, very contrary to his polite but cold countenance during lunch when he only flirted appropriately. 

You like Hyunjin as a friend and you think he might feel the same way, hence the reservation on both your parts to truly commit to this farce of a relationship.  It feels wrong to use him to keep your father happy.  

You caught his eye this morning in the school corridor, sharing a smile as you crossed paths.  Even though a true relationship has not been defined, you told him you wanted to tell Jisung before you started hanging out at school. 

You made the mistake of saying this within earshot of Hyunjin’s parents.  His father unfortunately overheard you, enquiring as to the identity of this Jisung. 

“Just her little school friend,” your father said.  “Nobody important.” 

Jisung might be nobody important to your father but he is still your friend.   And unlike your father, who merits the value of life on business calculations, the first question Jisung asks is, “Does he make you happy?” 

Felix is scribbling in his notebook but lifts his head at that question.  You cannot look at him directly because you know it will shatter your very careful mask. 

“Hyunjin is actually really nice when you get to know him,” you say, because the best lie has a hint of truth in it.  “And I really do like spending time with him.  So… it would make me happy if you could be happy for me too.”   

Jisung scrutinizes you, then glances at Felix who has gone back to scribbling in his notebook.  Eventually Jisung smiles and spins his cap backwards. 

“If you’re happy, I’m happy,” Jisung says.  He turns very dark and serious when he says, “But that pretty rich boy is paying for my nachos.”

You catch up to Hyunjin in the hallway.  He laughs when you tell him Jisung’s stipulation. 

“I think I can afford it,” he jokes, then quirks an eyebrow.  “Jisung… He doesn’t know about your dad, does he?”   

“Only a bit,” you say, thinking back to the countless times you abstractly complained about your father to him.   “I mean, he knows he’s strict but he doesn’t know why.  I complain about some stuff but… I don’t really go into detail.”  Truth be told, you like that your friendship with Jisung is so far removed from your home life.  He has nothing to do with your father or your wealth or your abuse.  He likes you for you and that has always been the case. 

“What about Felix?”  Hyunjin asks.  He nods behind you because Felix is never too far away.  He is blending in as inconspicuously as he can, pretending to read notices on a bulletin board. 

“What about him?” you say, heat creeping up your neck.  You hope you appear casual.

“How close are you?”  Hyunjin asks, his casual tone coloured with a hint of suggestion, like he already knows the answer. 

You suppose anyone might assume Felix has a crush on you seeing as he is never far from your side.  There is little explanation that a civilian could glean other than Felix being clingy or lovesick.  No one would guess it is his job to trail after you. 

But the suggestion is difficult to rebuke because your true feelings get all twisted up inside you.  You and Felix do like each other – too much for your own goods.  Though there has not been a reprise of the other morning, in fact you have not mentioned it once, there is a new electricity in all of your touches.  That exchange did not satisfy or quell any desires, in fact it seemed to accomplish the opposite.  When you wake in the morning to him so close, your heart turns into a thunderstorm and it sends sparks flying through every inch of your body. 

You want him more than ever.  You also hope you never get him or you will never find the resolve to let go. 

“He’s just my—”  You cannot force the word friend.   “He’s just Felix,” you say.  “He drives me crazy, to be honest.”  That much is true.   

Hyunjin’s brow furrows.  He looks at Felix then turns your body so he is blocking you from sight.  He leans in close to speak. 

“He isn’t bothering you, is he?”  Hyunjin asks.  “Because if he is—”

A sharp laugh jumps out of you.  The offer of protection is unexpected and unintentionally amusing.  You have seen Felix in the midst of his training, his body a well-honed instrument that he knows and controls with utmost precision.  Hyunjin uses his body in a different way, playing to his strengths with his showmanship, but he would be no match in confrontation. 

Not that he knows it.  His offer is very sincere. 

You gaze at him, studying his kind but determined face.  You remember how Hyunjin was expelled from his old school for fighting with another boy, supposedly over a girl.  You read the report yourself and you recall how the other boy was badly pulverized.  It is hard to picture Hyunjin doing something like that, but you know how violence often lurks in unassuming places. 

“Thank you,” you say.  “But it’s fine.  Really.” 

You guide the conversation back to bowling and it distracts him well enough. 

At least you were allowed to plan this date.  Your father essentially ordered you to go on a solo date with Hyunjin, except you could not be truly alone because Felix had to be there.  When you questioned the logistics of that, your father said to work it out, that he would heed Felix’s discretion on the matter. 

Fortunately, even with things tense between you, Felix does take your opinion into consideration.  He agreed when you suggested a casual venue where you could hang out with Hyunjin and better acquaint him with your friends.  

You are still not sure how long this charade is meant to continue, but for now you try to enjoy having another friend. This turns into a daunting task.  Your social skills are lacklustre to say the least and attempting to befriend Hyunjin’s huge circle of friends proves perilously overwhelming.  Fortunately, Hyunjin doesn’t take offense when you bail early at lunch to sit with Jisung instead.  Hyunjin has a lot of friends but none with whom he is especially close. 

“Having a best friend isn’t all it’s cracked up to be,” you joke, watching Jisung bowl by swinging the ball two-handedly between his legs.  You slouch in your seat as if embarrassed by him, shaking your head while Hyunjin laughs. 

“He’s funny,” Hyunjin says. 

“Then why do you antagonize him?” you ask, lightly but curiously.    

“Because it’s fun,” he says with a smirk, making you laugh and Felix chuckle.  “And easy.”

The three of you watch Jisung wail as his ball predictably rolls into the gutter. 

“Fair enough,” you say.  

You can tell Hyunjin has his guard up.  It does not make him unkind but he is less personable even while he is more charismatic.  You know that persona is in place to protect him, that Hyunjin wears happiness and charm the way you wear ire.  Although they are contrary dispositions, both keep people at bay. 

Jisung, being Jisung, manages to slip through the cracks of that guarded wall, much like he did you.  You got to know Jisung slowly then all at once, empty moments passing between you until one day you realized he had long passed the guarded gate. 

You are mulling this over when you spot him.   You are so surprised that you choke on your soda and sputter the liquid painfully out of your nose.  Your spontaneous violent hacking startles the boys, all of them jumping then fussing over you.  

You are still coughing when Lee Minho approaches.  

Hyunjin and Jisung do not see him at first, too pre-occupied with wiping your shirt and asking if you are okay.  It is Felix who spots Minho next, realization dawning on his face before his expression sours.  You have been seeking that reaction, looking for the vaguest hint of jealousy or at least acknowledgement.  Felix does not seem very intimidated by Hyunjin, even when he flirts with you or touches you.  He can probably tell your feelings are only friendly.  But you did like Lee Minho once and he knows that. 

Your heart skips beats when you and Felix look at each other.  He has not been holding your gaze lately, quick to look away when you catch him staring.  It sounds strange to say that you miss him when he is sleeping in your bed every night, but you ache with the loss of intimacy.  He is the first person you see in the morning and the last face you see at night, but he has never felt farther away.  Even your very first night together involved more genuine interaction. 

If he truly did not want you, it would be easier.  But when you do catch him staring, his eyes are intense, his gaze forever thoughtful.  When he is not minding his actions, he naturally leans towards you just as you do him, orbiting planets around the light of your stars.   

Jisung likes you as a friend, Hyunjin likes you as an ally, but Felix knows every part of you, the good and the bad, the normal and the crazy.   When he touches you, he touches all of you, and you feel like a whole person, full of more life and possibility than you ever thought you could be.  You told yourself not to rely on his touches and maybe you should have listened, maybe this withdrawal would not ache so terribly now, but you cannot bring yourself to fully regret it. 

What you want is to reach across this table and hold his face, to bring it close to yours.  Even if you don’t kiss, it would be enough to have him close, his breath on your lips and his freckled cheeks warm under your palms. 

You will take what you can get, basking in the devoted attention of his gaze as your former crush approaches the table. 

Minho comes up behind Hyunjin and smacks a hand onto his shoulder, startling him. 

“I could hear you from the parking lot, Hwang Hyunjin,” Minho teases.  “How many degrees was it again?” 

When the rival popular boys were both at school, their interactions were minimal despite their reputations.  Their few encounters were only jokingly hostile, one running gag revolving around Minho cooking Hyunjin in an air-fryer. 

“One-hundred-eighty degrees,” Hyunjin completes the joke.  He laughs with everyone else but he is blushing scarlet from the tips of his ears all down his neck. 

It is strange.  Hyunjin is a physical person, at least when performing.  This is the same guy who made out with his girlfriend in a classroom.  The same guy who got detention on his first day for skipping class to fool around with some girl.  And yet his shoulder dips as if Minho’s hand is too heavy to bear, as if he is overwhelmed by the touch. 

Hyunjin once remarked on your powers of observation.  It is especially easy to read someone when their behaviour is similar to your own.  Once you see it, you can’t unsee it.  The stilted proximity, the way they naturally lean towards each other, so heavily affected by the simplest touch on the shoulder. 

How they absolutely cannot bring themselves to meet eyes.  

Minho talks to your table, friendly enough, but it is obvious he has no idea who the rest of you are.  He only knows Hyunjin, and he addresses Hyunjin directly, but he does not look at Hyunjin for more than a few seconds, and they do not look at each other at the same time. 

Eventually, Minho squeezes the back of Hyunjin’s neck and Hyunjin curls up his fingers.  Minho smiles and says his goodbyes, casual, friendly, sparing one final glance at Hyunjin that Hyunjin does not return.   Hyunjin reaches for his glass and takes a drink while Minho leaves to join his own friends across the room. 

You wonder if Felix registered any of it, but he is still frowning at Minho’s retreating back.  You suppose he was watching you more than Hyunjin.  Jisung is taking a picture of his abysmal bowling score. 

You look at Hyunjin but he is smiling again.  He offers to pay for dinner, swiftly diverting the conversation in that direction.  Jisung goes with him to counter to order, leaving you and Felix alone. 

Felix has gone back to feigned indifference, sipping from his soda as he stares at nothing particular. 

“I need to be alone with Hyunjin for a bit,” you say.  That quickly snaps his attention to you.  “I just want to talk to him.” 

“Talk,” Felix says, lifting an eyebrow.  “Uhh, about what?”

“If it was your business, I wouldn’t need to be alone with him,” you say curtly.  You are being intentionally antagonistic with that one, but you get a little thrill when it succeeds in piquing his interest.  You suppose you have always resorted to bad behaviour for attention.  Encouraged by the heat darkening his gaze, you flutter your eyelashes and drawl, “My daddy would get mad if you got in the way of us, you know.” 

He laughs with disbelief.  Stubborn as ever, he looks away, popping an elbow on the table and digging his fist into his temple.   

“What?” you say with exaggerated innocence.  “Wouldn’t he, Felix?  Doesn’t he think I’m a bad girl who needs a good boy to fix her?” 

He looks at you, just a sideways glance out of the corner of his eye, but it gets you so hot that you momentarily forget your whole endeavour.  

He drops his arm with a thump, smiling at you with all that performative saccharine sweetness.  It is the smile he projects when he is convincing the world he is just sweet, innocent Lee Felix.  Beanie, flannel, ripped jeans, just another guy, cute and unassuming.

He stands and swiftly turns on the heel of his foot, slapping a hand down on the back of your seat so you instinctively lean back.  He follows you down, in your face when he speaks in that low, honeyed voice, “Hyunjin doesn’t have what it takes for that, sweetheart.”   

Then he is back in his seat, arms crossed and back to ignoring you. 

“I hate you,” is what naturally falls from your lips, no other word sufficing to summarize the sheer inundation of feelings.

The corner of his lips quirk up in a little grin.

He is the present bane of your existence, but Felix does oblige your request.  At the end of the evening, he purposefully leads Jisung away with some empty distraction, holding conversation while watching you over his shoulder.   He does not go far, but far enough to be out of ear-shot. 

Hyunjin is bent down, changing his shoes, and it takes you a minute to muster the nerve to speak. 

“Hyunjin,” you finally say, your voice coming out weaker than you intended. 

Your tone is usually sharp so the unexpected softness has him tensing before he even lifts his head.  When he does, it is with a dimpled smile, handsome and so polite. 

You scrub a hand over your face, shaking your head, trying to think of something to say.   You do not want to put him in an awkward spot, but you definitely do not want him walking into a worse situation because of ignorance. 

“You… you weren’t expelled for fighting… were you?” you finally ask.  “And you and Minho weren’t enemies.”  

His expression caves, a sharp breath parting his lips.  He stares at you for a long moment, flickering between a fake laugh, anger, fear, and finally resignation. 

“How did you…” he starts, then laughs without any humour, dry and airy as he pushes his hair back.  “You really are good at seeing people, huh.” 

“I stand by what I told you at that party,” you say.  “That I’m sorry you feel like you have to hide the best parts of yourself.  But as your friend, I need you to understand… my father is a very, very dangerous man.  He uses people.  All the things that make you who you are… he will just categorize them statistically and work out how to use those things against you to benefit him.” 

He covers his mouth and stares at the ground, looking contemplative.  After some time, he drops his hand, and speaks in an unsteady voice that makes him seem very young.  “I can handle it,” he says.  “My father…”  Another dry laugh.  “I had a… friend… at my whole school.  My father found us together.  He tried to get him leave me alone but… stupid kid… he didn’t listen.  So my dad hired this thug, I mean, I didn’t even know you could do that… He shook him up and we paid off the family and then he moved me here and he said… he said…”  His voice trails off and you don’t think he will find it again. 

“Image,” you say.  “Expectation.  Whatever.” 

He huffs a breath, rolls his eyes, laughs again. 

“Yes,” he says.  “I thought it would be easy.  He wasn’t asking me to change, just pretend.  I said… well, that’s not that bad, it could be worse.  It’s worse for other people.  I can pretend.  But it’s not easy and…”  He sucks in an unsteady breath, his face crinkling with emotion.  His voice is strained when he continues, “I don’t like lying, and just because I don’t like girls it doesn’t mean I like using them.  You were the final straw, I just…”  He rubs his temples and shakes his head.  “I just need to get through this year.  I can move out after school but… my dad won’t give me access to my savings until the end of the year and only if I can show him I’m… ‘better’.  So I… I need to get through this year.” 

“Hyunjin, I want to help you,” you say, “but you need to know what you’re getting into with me.  My father is more dangerous than just hiring a thug.  He is the thug, his whole operation is thugs.  He snaps his fingers and half the city is rearranging itself for him.” 

“You talk back to him a lot,” Hyunjin argues, a fact you cannot refute.  Though you are marginally better behaved in company, you are never truly docile. 

“Yeah,” you say with a helpless laugh, “but trust me, I’m messed up.”

“So am I,” he says.  “We can help each other.  Keep our dads off our backs for now then figure it all out.” 

Silence falls as you consider each other’s words.  You feel like no matter what choice you make, it will be the wrong one. 

“He works two jobs,” Hyunjin suddenly says, staring over your shoulder.  You don’t have to turn to know it is Minho, on the other side of the room, laughing with his friends.  “One is at a coffee shop.  On the weekends he teaches dance classes to kids.  His family isn’t well off but he is so casual about it that no one cares.  Things everyone else gets ashamed or embarrassed about just doesn’t seem to bother him.  I thought I hated him at first, because it all seemed so easy for him, and I was jealous because I thought I should be the lucky one.  Then one morning after a party I was hungover and bitching at him, and he just said tsk…”  Fondness creeps into his expression now, smoothing out the sadness that was there before.  “Then he made me some coffee and kissed me when I wasn’t expecting it.  I started working myself up about it and he called me idiot and did it again.”  He looks at you.  His voice is steady now.  “My dad would never make coffee for someone.  He doesn’t even know how.  He pays someone to do all that meaningless stuff for him.  Meaningless.  That’s all his life is.  He think it’s so important but it’s not.  But I know better.” 

He sits straighter and says with complete confidence, “My life will not be meaningless.  I just need to get through this year.” 

You know it is not so simple as that.  You do not see a light at the end of the tunnel the way he seems to do.  But he speaks with so much heartfelt conviction that you really do feel it for a moment. 

In the end, it is impossible not to take his hand. 

-

Felix is quiet on the car ride home.  You know despite the pretence, he is curious about you and Hyunjin.  His regard was a scrutinizing one, watching you hold hands until you said goodbye in the parking lot. 

But Felix is acting his role, an indifferent and professional bodyguard.  You take turns glancing at each other, occasionally catching eyes but looking away soon after. 

The house will be empty for the next couple weeks as your father is on a business trip overseas.  You strut confidently into the house with Felix on your heels.  You busy yourself with scrolling on your phone, pretending you do not hear his agitated sighs.  You plop yourself down on the couch and cross your legs.   

Felix stands in front of you, arms crossed.  You smile an excessively syrupy smile and bat your eyelashes.

“Yes?” you say.  “Can I help you?”   

“What are you doing with Hyunjin?” he asks. 

“You know what I’m doing with Hyunjin,” you say dryly, looking at your phone again.  “Just what my daddy said.”

“Okay but uhhh, you don’t like Hyunjin,” he says.  “And you definitely don’t like obeying ‘daddy’.”  He pitches up the word in a nasally whine to mock you, smiling when you glare. 

“Maybe I changed my mind,” you say.  Then you shrug like the whole thing is beneath you, like you could not care less about his reaction even while it is all you care about. 

You stand and knock shoulders when you brush past.  You make it a scarce foot before he grasps the back of your neck and guides you back to him, gentle and slow but ungiving in its demand.  Even when he lets go, you feel tingles where his fingertips so lightly pressed. 

You are standing close, almost cheek to cheek.  You can count each familiar freckle. 

“Are you free right now?” he asks, dropping his voice in such a suggestive way that you immediately feel flushed.  You nod without thinking too hard.  When you do, his face lights up with enthusiasm and he smiles, eyes oh-so adorably crinkled with mirth.  “Great!” he says.  “Put on exercise clothes and meet me in the gym for training.” 

He leaves the room in a brisk jog, waving over his shoulder.  You stand there for another moment, staring at the empty doorway and computing the whiplash of that whole ridiculous exchange.  

Never have you come so close to actually hating that abominable nightmare boy. 

You have clearly worked Felix into a mood, so you decide to be marginally complacent and do what he asks lest he hunt you down and force you to do push-ups in the bedroom.  We can work-out in the bedroom all right, you imagine yourself saying with a wink, knowing very well there is not a chance you would ever actually be able to say that.  Agitating him with a healthy dose of implication is different than outright stating it.  Though the look on his face would be funny. 

When you reach the gym, he is in sweatpants and a t-shirt just like you.  He is stretching in front of the mirror wall.  He smiles that sardonic smile through the reflection, beckoning you to join him.  You make sure to stomp as petulantly as possible, crossing your arms like a stubborn child when you reach the mirror. 

“You need to warm-up first,” he says.  “Do you know how to stretch?”

“Yes, I know how to stretch,” you say venomously, a useless lie since he has witnessed your pitiful demonstrations of athleticism in gym class.  He doesn’t comment, though, just lifts his eyebrows and says, “okaaaay,” before moving on. 

You copy a few of his stretches, though he makes his movements look easier than they are.  Then he makes you run a few laps around the room, simply smiling when you scowl at him.  You are pretty sure that part was just a petty punishment. 

Finally he sets up some mats and starts explaining basic tactical defense positions.  He clearly knows what he is talking about and the familiarity of the subject seems to ground him in his body.  It draws you into a similar state of relaxation and soon you find yourself actually listening to his instructions.  

You mirror a few of his positions, focussing on holding yourself steady, on finding your centre of gravity.   

“You won’t beat most people with brute strength,” Felix says.  “I mean, uhhh, ha-ha, I’m not exactly the biggest guy in the world, myself, you know?  It isn’t about that, though.  Look, feel your core strength…” 

You lose yourself in your concentration, watching your own motions in the mirror as he steps around you.  Your attention only fractures when he lays a hand on your shoulder.  He is just fixing your posture but your body does not seem to care that the action is casual.   You curse your own sensitivity and tell yourself to get over it, especially when he starts demonstrating more bodily manoeuvres, requiring you to put your hands on his arms or hands or shoulders. 

He acts unbothered the whole time, making you feel even more ridiculous.  Then he explains something while wrapping an arm around your neck from behind.  You step closer instinctively and your eyes widen when your backside collides with his front and you realize he is not as indifferent as he is acting.  It is only the vaguest stirring of interest, but his sweatpants do little for modesty. 

He nudges you away and clears his throat, continuing his lesson but with a little stutter.  You feel flustered and embarrassed too, somehow simultaneously craving this sort of evidence and also balking at it.  You actually masturbated in front of each other but for some reason it is more embarrassing when he catches you looking at the subtle imprint in his sweats.   He clears his throat again but continues the lesson like nothing happened.   When he steps up behind you again, you are both careful to keep your distance, his arm only hovering around you. 

“So the best thing in a situation like this—” he starts. 

“I know what to do,” you say, the tension so unbearable that if you do not shatter it, it will break you instead.  You abruptly swing your arm back, elbowing him in the gut.  You catch him by surprise and he stumbles back with an oof, holding his stomach and glaring with playful intensity. 

“Very funny,” he says and steps closer again. 

“This works too,” you say, giggling then stomping on his foot.  It isn’t very hard but it is unexpected so he curses, taking a playful swipe at you when you skip away. 

“Mature,” he says sarcastically, but with a genuine smile.  You stick your tongue out at him and he reaches again, laughing when you dance out of arm’s reach. 

He chases after you and you yelp when he catches up, his retaliation a truly heinous, punitive tickle attack.  You squeal and laugh in his arms, squirming to get away and apologizing through your shrieks.  He just laughs, continuing his evil barrage of tickles.   You get tangled together in your flailing, stumbling around and eventually landing in a giggling heap in front of the mirror. 

Finally he stops, just as winded from laughter.  You are sitting between his legs, slouched against his chest, facing the mirror as you pant and wind down from your giggles. 

You look at each other through the reflection, the longest you have held each other’s gaze in a while.  It feels different, less direct, but also more complete.  You see yourself as well as him, sitting in a fairly intimate position and looking for all the world like a normal young couple, glowing with carefree happiness. 

You take a few steadying breaths.  He does as well.  The rush of your game settles.  In the absence of laughter, the room is quiet.  The whole house is quiet, a big empty space with the two of you alone in one small room, securely tucked away in your privacy, looking at each other through a mirror. 

He swallows. 

Your heart is racing and not from any playful exertion.  He has a hand on your elbow and the other on your knee, but he is holding very still, as if a move in any direction will be catastrophic.  He is probably right to think that. 

You touch his hand anyway, holding his gaze in the mirror while you slide his hand from your knee to your thigh.  His brow pinches, expression contorted as if in pain, though the hardening press of him against your backside tells you it is not pain. 

He says your name.  Then he sighs, closes his eyes, and rests his temple against your head. 

“Sweetheart,” he says, drawing out all the softness of heart in his low drawl.  You whimper, from that or his touch, his hand high on your thigh.  Even through your clothes, his touch burns, waking nerves where it roams. 

“Please,” you say, watching his face through his mirror.  Finally he meets your gaze there, dark eyes on your face as he lets you guide his hand between your legs.   

One deft stroke through your clothes has you making a sound like a sob.  It pulls him over the brink of his hesitation, leaving it all behind as he cups you with a possessive sort of determination.  His touch is clumsy and desperate but you don’t care, because it’s him. 

It all seems to happen so fast and not fast enough, two pairs of nervous hands pushing and pulling.  He tugs your knee over his, spreading your legs wide, and slides his hand into your sweats while you buck back against him.  Your eagerness overwhelms you so he shushes gently in your ear, his free hand splayed across your collarbone.  His forehead is pressed into the side of your head and he looks at you sideways through the mirror.  You nod, holding his gaze as he touches you properly. 

It is a fumbling, hungry touch, the hunger of someone who thinks he might never eat again after all this plenty.   He might be right.  He might be wrong.  It doesn’t matter right now.  You give yourselves over to the experience, as raw and inelegant as all that earnest passion is. 

Your breathing is loud enough to fill the whole room, the whole house, broken sighs and guttural moans louder than the yelling that usually fills this place.  His touch is only surface, not daring to go so far as putting his fingers inside you, even while rubbing his fingers through all that wet desire.  Your knee is hooked over his, keeping you helplessly open under his touch when you come.  He looks at you with an incredulous sort of amazement, then his eyes close and his low moan turns to a broken whimper as tumbles over the edge too. 

You are both breathing hard in the aftermath, eyes closed, heads touching.  You slowly bring your leg back and he slowly withdraws his hand.  You look into the mirror when you take his hand, when you put it back between your legs over your clothes and hold it there.  He says your name and curses. 

It is the last thing he says for a while.  You are both quiet.  It is only later that night when the silence breaks, when he gets into bed after checking the security system.  You look at each other across the space of that bed and mutely come to an accord, his arm outstretched in offering as you move into his embrace.  He holds you against his chest, his heart beating under your ear. 

“Do you hate me,” he asks, like he already knows the answer. 

You sniffle.  You nod. 

“Okay,” he says, and strokes your back until you fall asleep.

-

Your final year of school passes in a blur of afternoons with Jisung, fake dates with Hyunjin, and long, unsatisfied nights where you and Felix hold each other with the knowledge of everything between you – and do nothing about it.  He keeps his head down, trains, and dutifully reports to your father.  At least your father is more agreeable these days because of your supposed relationship with Hyunjin.  He thinks it is changing you for the better when really you are just being careful for Hyunjin’s sake. 

The end of the year rolls around and soon you are down to the last few days of classes.  You and Hyunjin are due for a conversation about what happens next.   You whisper this to him in class, sitting close as you are sharing a lab desk for two.  He is bent down scribbling in your yearbook, his pen scratching when he freezes.   He looks up at you and nods.

“Yo, are you lovebirds done?” Jisung asks, spinning around from the desk he is sharing with Felix.  He points a ruler at Hyunjin.  “You better have left the last page blank like I said, man.  I have things to say to my girl.”   

“I did, I did,” Hyunjin says with playful exasperation, handing Jisung your yearbook so he can sign it too.  Jisung takes it with a snap, clapping the ruler on the desk before turning back to his own seat to write his message.  You and Hyunjin look at each other, helpless but to laugh at his shenanigans.   

You catch Felix’s eye.  He knows your relationship is fake, though he doesn’t know why.  He probably figures you are just trying to keep your father off your case.  Even if you trust Felix, it is not your place to tell Hyunjin’s story, guarding it so long as he asks. 

It does mean Felix looks at you with the occasional battered-puppy eyes. 

“Come on, Felix,” Hyunjin says with his big, dimpled smile, “let me write in yours too.” 

The yearbooks were handed out this morning so everyone is running around getting their friends to sign farewell messages.  You have already signed more yearbooks than you ever imagined you would, Hyunjin’s friends considering you an acquaintance if nothing else.  Signing for them was easy at least, lots of have a great summer and good luck with your future.  

It is much harder coming up with something for genuine friends.  While Hyunjin writes in Felix’s yearbook, you stare down at Hyunjin’s, trying to think of what to say to your fake boyfriend and real friend. 

I hope you get everything you want and more, you finally write.   I’m glad I got to know you.  LUV U BOYFRIEND!!!!

He laughs at the last part when you show him.   “I wrote the same thing in yours, loving girlfriend,” he says. 

You laugh too.  You crumple up some paper to chuck at Jisung who is still scribbling in your yearbook. 

“What, are you writing a novel?” you ask.  “Hurry up!” 

“Patience!” Jisung says.  “You can’t rush a masterpiece!” 

You, Hyunjin, and Felix all laugh.  Once more, you and Felix look at each other a little longer.  You did not bother to write in his yearbook as no words could suffice to summarize anything. 

He jokingly wrote Have a Great Summer : ) in yours. 

Jisung finally finishes his apparent epic, smacking your yearbook onto your desk.  You reach for it but he holds it shut, giving you a very serious look. 

“You can’t read my message now, okay?” he says.  “Read it at home.  Alone.  With violins in the background.”

You snort and roll your eyes but smile fondly at him. 

“Okay, Jisung,” you say, “I promise to cherish it and read your masterpiece properly.”          

“That’s all I ask,” Jisung says with a salute. 

After school, Felix waits while you and Hyunjin have a quick word. 

“Can you come to my house?”  Hyunjin asks.  “I want to talk properly.  Not here.”

You know your father will agree but you need his permission as you cannot visit without an escort.  Hyunjin knows you always have a bodyguard not too far from sight; he just does not know that Felix is one of them.   Your father sends his own men on your excursions together. 

Felix is never too happy when separated.  He is cordial enough with your father’s security team but it is obvious that Felix thinks he is more skilled than them, often commenting on their weaknesses or blunders.  You do not see things with his professional precision but you take his word for it.  It is easy to believe Felix is the best.  After all, it takes a whole team of people to replace him. 

As predicted, your father agrees to let you visit Hyunjin for the evening.  The Hwang mansion is nowhere near as big an estate nor are their security measures even close to your impenetrable, bulletproof, gilded prison, but it is still a secure location where you can be supervised.  You go with a few of your father’s men, sharing a dry look with Hyunjin when you arrive at his house.  He just smiles, used to it. 

You have dinner with his him and his parents, smiling all the while, playing the part you have played all year.  Your father’s men surround the house and you pass them in the backyard, making your way to Hyunjin’s old tree-house for some privacy.  It leaves you within sight of your father’s men but well out of ear-shot.   

You plop down on the little wooden balcony, sighing as you stare into the distance.  The sun is setting over the neighbourhood, an orange sky dappled with rosy pinks, sparkling as it catches glass panes and ostentatious embellishments.  The creaky old tree-house has a cozier feel, a world separated from the nonsense below.   

“Thank you,” Hyunjin says after a moment of shared silence, just watching the sunset.  You look at each other and he smiles.  “Having a real friend who knows me made a difference this year.” 

The forthright sincerity is a bit much for you, seeing as you are not so good at communicating so plainly.  You think you are improving, though.  The old you would have drawn back, but you are able to smile at Hyunjin in return. 

“I hope it helped,” you say. 

“It did.”  He moves a little closer just to be safe.  “My father gave me control of my savings.  My grandmother left me an inheritance and I needed the money.”  His smile brightens his whole face in the rosy light.  “I bought a house.”

“A house?” your voice breaks as you try contain your surprise in a whisper.

He laughs at your reaction, still smiling. 

“Yes,” he says.  “Well, it’s more like a cabin.  It’s not much to look at.  I needed it to be off the record, all in cash, and far away from here.”   

You find the image of a small, homey cabin to be devastatingly beautiful.  It could be the most dilapidated, ramshackle mess of a construction and you would still consider it perfect.  You imagine sitting on a tiny porch with Felix, him smiling a big smile that crinkles his eyes and shows his teeth, his face sunny and golden and truly carefree, not just pretending. 

You look at Hyunjin and see him staring into space with the same smile.  You picture him with all the tension gone from his shoulders, laughing his wheezy laugh instead of forcing polite smiles.  You swallow a lump in your throat. 

“Oh, Hyunjin,” you say, holding his hand.  “That’s really wonderful.” 

It brings him back to you.  Some of the dreaminess leaves his expression but he is definitely still happy.  He squeezes your hand back. 

“I can’t go yet,” he says.  “My parents would just… They’d find me.  I’m their only son.  It would be an embarrassment to them if I just left.  When I think about what my father did to my friend just to teach me a small lesson…”  You squeeze his hand in sympathy.  You both know his parents did not have that boy beaten to keep him away, but to teach Hyunjin a lesson.

Hyunjin takes a deep breath and says, “They won’t let me walk away easily.  I have to do it right if I’m gonna be free.”

“How are you going to do that?” you ask, curious for his sake and even your own.  The image of a far away cabin, untouched by trouble, is quickly nestling itself in some hidden cockle of your heart.  You know that it will be difficult for him to leave but it would be next to impossible for you, so there is no sense in dreaming.

And yet…  If Hyunjin can find a way, it makes you think that maybe certain dreams are not so impossible. 

But he just sighs and looks away. 

“I don’t know yet,” he says.  “But I’m going to find a way.”  He lets go of your hand to reach into his pocket, pulling out a small slip of paper.  He passes it to you and you unfold it.  You brow furrows as you read.    

“Is this—”

“The city and address to the cabin,” he says. 

“Why are you giving this to me?” you ask in a small voice.  Not for the first time, you curse your inconstant feelings, the quick rise to emotional heights in the matter of seconds. 

This is Hyunjin’s future written in a single line on a single piece of paper, such a seemingly simple thing and yet it has the power to completely destroy him.  This is his means of his escape, his only avenue of liberty, and he is showing you despite your proximity to some truly wretched forces.   He trusts you more than he fears them. 

“It’s an easy address to remember,” he says.  “I know things are hard for you.  I don’t know what will happen to you.  I don’t even know what will happen to me.  But I know it’s harder when you’re alone.  I know having people make a difference because they made a difference for me.  If you ever get out, if you ever need somewhere to start…” 

You cannot think of what to say.  No words seem sufficient in reply.  You can only nod and take a deep breath.  You look up into the fading light and blink away your tears. 

“Thank you,” you say.  “I hope if we meet again, things will be different.” 

The address has a sweet rhyming lilt to it, easy to remember like he said.  You read it over a few times, commit it to memory, then tear up the slip of paper beyond any salvaging. 

You sit in the tree-house until the sun fully sets.  Little lanterns flicker to life one-by-one in the darkening yard below.  When the sky is a blue wash and the path below is twinkling gold, you sigh. 

“I don’t want to go back,” you say miserably.  You don’t want to see your father or that house.  Even Felix will stir nothing but anguish right now, as you think about how you are trapped and he is shackled to you.  You also don’t really want to linger here.  Your uncontrollable emotional pendulum has swung back from its precipice.  A few minutes ago, you were close to crying, and now you feel so empty and resigned that you think you will never cry again.   I’m so broken, you think helplessly.  You want someone to tell you otherwise but you don’t know how to ask. 

Hyunjin leans back, peering into the yard.  Your father’s men are getting a little complacent in their boredom, one of them yawning where he is slouched in a deck chair.   They are not really paying attention to you.  They figure there is no where for you to go, the main steps from the tree-house leading right into their path. 

Hyunjin puts a finger to his lips.  You follow him quietly across the tree-house, obscured in enough darkness that none of the security team notices.  He leads you to a dangling rope ladder, hidden on the opposite side of the tree.  He points across the yard to a little garden around a koi pond. 

“There’s a gate just past the pond,” he whispers.  “There’s a path that leads through the neighbourhood.  I’ll stay up here until they say something, then I’ll tell them you went home.”  He smiles and puts a hand on your shoulder.  “You probably should go home,” he says, “but at least this way you’ll have a bit of time alone first.” 

You smile back at him, patting the hand on your shoulder. 

“Thank you, Hyunjin,” you say. 

“See you around,” he says, then pushes back his hair and smoulders at you.  “And don’t take the break-up too hard. I know I’m handsome but there will be other men.”     

You laugh and roll your eyes, pushing his shoulder. 

“Oh, please, I broke up with you,” you say.  “I couldn’t keep up with your vigorous beauty routine.” 

“This face is natural,” he says, laughing too.  Then he nudges you and looks more serious.  “Go now.  They’re not paying attention.” 

You briefly weigh your odds.  You have not snuck out in a very long time so the punishment might be proportionate to your otherwise good behaviour.  Felix is not here so he will not be blamed for your escape.  And you will not be avoiding a reprimand no matter what you do, because your father is going to be angry that you and Hyunjin broke-up – especially without consulting him first.  If you are going to be punished anyway, you might as well take a walk and clear your head first. 

You grab Hyunjin’s hand one last time, giving it a squeeze as you smile.  Then you climb down the rope ladder and hurry across the garden.  You are out the gate and on the path before you know it. 

The wealthy neighbourhood is quiet and brightly lit, every yard illuminated despite the quietude of the street.  They are all so pristinely manicured, different yet identical magazine-ready mansions.  They look a bit eerie with the darkness around them, like some alien recreation of what a home should look like.  It makes you dread the return to your own house.  You wonder how much time you have to yourself, if the car is going to pull up alongside you any second now to drag you home. 

It is then you remember you do have one more place you can go.  Ridiculously, stupidly, your emotions come back in full swing and you feel like crying again.  Maybe it is because you have not snuck out in so long, so it is reminding you of the very first time you ever did.  You went to the very place you are going now: Jisung’s house.

You always met there before darting off to a party together.  Those parties never amounted to much.  You and Jisung always talked a big game then spent most of the time in a corner or on a roof, but it was the only time you were ever away from the prying eyes of your father’s overprotective security.   You passed many nights that way, complaining to your best friend, talking about nothing, then rushing home before your absence was noticed.   

You remember the route to his side of town, catching a bus and getting off at a familiar stop.  This neighbourhood looks very different than Hyunjin’s, a range of houses both new and old, rundown and fixed-up.  They don’t waste energy lighting their yards unless they have guests.  All the light is from the streetlamps and the little yellow squares of homey light beaming through their windows. 

You have never actually been inside Jisung’s house.  You would usually just meet him in the yard before continuing on.  This is the first time you walk up the porch steps and ring the doorbell. 

You start to shiver.  The adrenaline or your escape kept you warm but now you can feel the chill of the evening. 

You are looking around the block and shivering when the door opens.  You turn and see an older woman with a scowl on her face.  Even if you did not know Jisung lived with his single mother, you would recognize her because of her round cheeks and big eyes, much like him.  Except where his face is usually open and friendly, she looks at you like a bug she wants to squish. 

“What?” she asks. 

“Um, sorry to bother you,” you say, somehow more intimidated by her than your father’s burly security team.  “I’m friends with Jisung.  I was just wondering if he’s home…?” 

She takes a step back and screams his name into the house.  You stand awkwardly in the doorway, waiting while thumps and bangs come from the upper level, then Jisung is hurrying down the stairs and skittering into view.  You so seldom see him without a hat that it is momentarily jarring, his flop of dark hair going everywhere as he comes to a wide-eyed stop. 

He gets over his surprise and smiles wide, saying your name with an upward what-the-fuck inflection. 

“What are you doing here?” he asks, stepping aside to let his mother pass.  She says nothing more to you, disappearing into a side room. 

“I, um, I don’t know,” you say, your emotions in turmoil again.  You think about what Hyunjin said, about how having a friend made all the difference for him, and you suddenly realize how much you missed spending time with Jisung, how he was your first and only escape for so long.  Tears are falling before you can stop them, a mess of everything with Hyunjin and Felix and your father, but you can only stammer a vague excuse, that you broke up with Hyunjin and wanted to talk to someone. 

Jisung’s face is twisted up with surprise and sympathy.  He says your name a few times and apologizes, guiding you into the house.   

“Come on, let’s go upstairs,” he says, taking your hand and leading you up to his bedroom. 

“Won’t your mom mind?” For some reason, despite the mania of emotion inside you, that is what you fixate on. 

Jisung just laughs dryly, shaking his head as he closes the bedroom door behind you.  “Trust me,” he says. “She won’t care.  Sit down.” 

Jisung’s bedroom is undeniably him, music posters overlapping on the wall, stacks of journals on his desk and bedside table.  It is a sprawling canvas of music and writing, not to mention litters of clothes and baseball caps.  He pushes a pile of clothes off his bed so you can both sit, shoulder-to-shoulder.  His bed is against the wall, under the window, cool stars twinkling down at you while his bedside lamp fills the room with warmth. 

Your sobbing has slowed to a heaving stutter.  Jisung hands you some tissues to wipe your eyes. 

“I’m gonna kill that evil pretty boy,” Jisung says.

You hiccup and shake your head.  “It was me,” you say.  “Hyunjin is my friend, he’s a good guy, I just—” You start crying all over again, tearing the soggy tissues to shreds.  Jisung leans over to fetch some more, his face scrunched up with concern while he watches you dab your sore eyes.  “I’m just so messed up, Jisung,” you say.  “You have no idea how much.  I don’t even think I could properly love someone if I tried.  I just make a mess wherever I go.”

“What! Yo!  No.  Why are you saying these things?”  He looks equal parts bewildered and horrified, quickly wrapping an arm around you.  You let your head fall on his shoulder, still wiping your eyes while he rubs your arm.  “You are not messed up.  You’re my best friend and you’re awesome.  How could you have a best friend if you can’t properly love someone, huh?” 

“I’m a bad friend though,” you say.  “I bail on you all the time and I’m crazy and emotional and—”

“And you have an evil dad who locks you in the house, remember?”  Jisung says.  “Look, I know it’s not my business, I’d never make you say it, but from what you’ve told me… Dude, that guy fucking sucks.” 

You cannot help but laugh at that.  Jisung smiles, tweaking your nose. 

“I’ve never been mad about that stuff,” he says gently.  “Not at you.  At your dick dad, sure.  But that has nothing to do with you.” 

“I’m emotional like him,” you say, tears slowing to a lip wobble.  “I fight him all the time but maybe that just proves it. All that anger inside me.” 

“Anger isn’t bad,” Jisung says.  “It’s a feeling just like anything else.  Some people do bad shit while smiling the whole time.  Remember that guy who bullied Felix that time at school, and how you hit him with that book?  Or other times you just snapped back at some stupid dick?  That wasn’t bad!”

You don’t have an argument in you.  You just exhale, dabbing under your eyes with the crumpled tissue.  Jisung continues to rub your arm.

Your eyes drift and land on one of his baseball caps.  It is perched on a stack of schoolbooks.  You think back through the years, all those school days, all those stolen parties and late nights.  It was a slow beginning, then one day you realized he was your friend, your first ever friend, that he was making you laugh and you had inside jokes and you wanted to spend more time with him.  You weren’t afraid to be around him and you knew he wouldn’t make fun of you or push you or judge you. 

You feel his arm around your shoulder now and realize you are not afraid of it.  You can no longer remember the first time you hugged Jisung, probably because it wasn’t a kiss or anything romantic and so you did not really register it.  It was a moment that arrived silently, without any heart palpitations or fanfare, no sweaty palms or hot cheeks.  He would have just put his arm around you like he is doing now, asking for nothing in return for it. 

You realize he must have been the first person to hug you.   Your mother passed away when you were in infancy and the only family you ever knew was your father and his now-late father.  They did not hug each other and they did not hug you.   The only kind of love you knew was a violent, controlling one, and it made you into a distrustful, feral little child in return. 

You have reflected before how it took a long time to warm to Felix.  Bit by bit.  Touch by touch.   It would have taken longer if you had never known Jisung.  He drew you out of your shell before anyone else did. You were able to reach for Felix because Jisung reached for you.  You were able to befriend Hyunjin because Jisung befriended you. 

You find yourself choking back a different sob, one conjured by the realization of just how much Jisung has done by being there.  You understand what Hyunjin meant, about a friend making all the difference. 

Before you can say anything, Jisung gently asks, “It’s bad, isn’t it?” 

You sit straight to look at him, brow furrowed.   

“Your dad,” he says.  “Things are… they’re bad, aren’t they?  Worse than just not letting you hang out?” 

Tears spill over again.  You realize he is sniffling now too but holding back tears.  He reaches across to wipe your face with his bare hands, swiping at your tears.   

“I knew for a while,” Jisung says in a strained voice.  “I could see the bruises.  I didn’t know what to do.  And I felt like I was letting you down because—” 

He chokes on his breath.  It gives you a moment to interject.

“You have nothing to feel bad about,” you say. You wipe his tears too, laughing at your equal dramatics.  “Seriously, Jisungie.” 

“No, you don’t understand,” he says, grabbing your hands and pulling them off his face.  He shakes his head like he is trying to shake his tears out of him.  It seems to work.  After another breath, he manages to speak clearly.   “Do you remember our first conversation?  At school?”

“About the weather?” you say, thinking back to the first time Jisung started a conversation. 

“No, before that,” he says.  “We sat beside each other for months but we never spoke.  Then I missed a week of school because I made myself sick, all my stupid anxiety and whatever.  My mom, you know, she tries but she… It’s just easier for her to ignore me most of the time, I think.   I know she didn’t want kids.  So I was taking care of myself.  And I missed school sometimes because of it, but no one ever noticed when I was gone.  It’s like I was invisible everywhere I went.  And I got so sick that week that I just wanted to die.  But then I went back to school and I got my homework from the teachers and then you—”  He slaps his hands in his lap and looks at you, smiling a teary-eyed smile.  “You were the first person to ask where I was and if I was all right.  And you made a face like you didn’t believe me when I said I was.  Then I started talking about the weather.” 

“Oh,” you say, shredding the tissue in your lap for something to look at, trying to keep your tears at bay.  “I didn’t remember that part.” 

“You’re really good at seeing people,” Jisung says.  “Even when they’re trying to hide or pull away.  I don’t know how you think you can’t love when you’re like that.  You know how to do it better than the rest of us who forget to even look.”  He takes your hand again, drawing your eyes up to his.  “But I’m looking back now, okay?  And I’m gonna save you.” 

It is so frank and sincere that it makes you laugh. 

“I am!” he says, laughing through his own watery voice.  “Don’t laugh at me!  You saved me and now I’m gonna save you too.”

“It’s not that easy, Jisung,” you say.  “You have no idea how crazy everything in my life is—”

“It is that easy,” he says.  “You’ll see.  I promise.  And a best friend promise is a forever promise, okay?” 

You cannot bring yourself to argue.  You just nod, your bottom lip wobbling again. 

“Okay,” Jisung says.  “Now come hug me so you can’t see me when I start crying like a baby.” 

You laugh but fall into his arms nonetheless.  You sit under that window for a long time.  At least, it feels like a long time.  You don’t look at the clock and you don’t count the minutes.  It is not the kind of hug that is leading to anything because he doesn’t want to kiss you and he has no other motivation.  He just hugs you until you are both calm, when your tears feel silly and dramatic and your eyes are sore but you feel strangely refreshed. 

“I need to go,” you say, to which he whines in complaint.  You laugh.  “Saving me will have to wait for another day.  For now, if I don’t get home…” 

As if summoned by that very thought, your phone erupts with buzzes and rings.  You sigh and fish it out of the pocket of your shorts, watching messages from your father, his security, and Felix come flooding in.  The others are making commands and demanding your whereabouts.  Felix asks, Are you okay?  Then, I have to turn on your GPS.  They’re gonna come get you wherever you are. 

You answer Felix, telling him you’re fine, that you’re with Jisung.  He sends an emoji that manages to look very unimpressed, then just says, that’s what the boss gets for sending amateurs. 

Your father’s men are far from amateurs but it is still funny when Felix insults them. 

You turn your phone to silent after that, not bothering to answer the others.  They will find you in no time with Felix’s help. 

“I better go,” you say.  “My dad is sending someone to pick me up.  I’ll be fine tonight, I promise.  But I’m gonna start walking because I don’t want you mixed up in any of this when they get here.” 

Jisung tries to argue but lets you go when he sees how serious you are.  He insists you take a hoodie for warmth so you do.  You give him one last wave before you begin the trek down the block, hoping to get far away before your father’s men find you. 

You have made it two blocks over when a sleek black car approaches.  You start to walk towards it because there is no other reason for a car that nice to be slowing down on a street like this.  Only when it gets closer do you realize you the make and model of the car is not one that your father usually uses, and you do not recognize the driver. 

Your heart kicks up with a startled, frantic flutter as the car comes to a slow stop not far from you.  You swerve, crossing to the other side of the street to avoid it.  You try to act nonchalant, reassuring yourself that it is coincidence, that your father’s insanity is seeping into your brain and making you paranoid. 

By the time you realize your anxieties are not baseless, it is too late.  Not that you stood much of a chance in the first place. 

You try running but there are three of them overall, one driver and two armed muscle guys.  They chase you down and cover your mouth before you can scream.  You kick and jostle but all of Felix’s self-defence lessons fly out of your brain in your panic.  Your tears are all used up so you don’t cry.  Even terror passes, leaving only nausea in its wake. 

It doesn’t feel real, being shoved into the back of a car by men in black suits.  This is not something real that happens.  This is something your father threatens, something inane and melodramatic, something out of a movie or a book, not real life.  Not your life. 

Yet here you are, flanked by two strange men while the driver peels across the tarmac.   They do not cuff or gag you, simply buckle you into a seatbelt and point a gun at you.  You are shaking too bad to do anything useful anyway, and your voice feels clogged in your suddenly dry throat. 

They are talking to you but it takes you a minute to register any word, everything fuzzy and out of focus. 

“—just be a good girl and co-operate and everything will be fine.” 

That is all you hear. 

That and the name Miroh. 

You try to calm yourself.  You think rationally.  Miroh has no reason to kill you or even torture you, as far as you know.  In all likelihood, he is using you as leverage to get something from your father.  That is why your father is always worried about you being taken.  He doesn’t talk about damage to you, just his business. 

You manage to calm the worst of your shaking.  Then the one with the gun yanks on your hair and you jerk away violently. 

“She’s better behaved than Miroh said,” he says with a laugh.  “Might not even have to take a finger.” 

You clutch your hands tightly together, glaring at him, but it just garners more chuckles.  The driver laughs too, peering at you through the rear-view mirror. 

“Too well behaved,” he suddenly says, eyes narrowing.  “You check her pockets?” 

It is then you remember your phone.  Felix turned on your GPS.   They can track where you are going.  Felix can track where you are going.  If nothing else, you trust that Felix can do something.  Felix, Felix, Felix.  It is all you can think about.  Felix will find you.  You will be back with Felix tonight, safe in your shared bed. You are always safe with Felix.  You want to be there right now.  You can’t even remember how you got here.  Your whole day is turning into one blacked out nothingness, a dreary bleak empty before you found yourself in this car hurtling to god-knows-what fate. 

The man finds your phone.  You try to reach for it but then you feel the gun at your temple and your whole body locks up.  You have seen a gun before, many times, but you have never had one pointed at you.  You always thought you would be brave, having been around them your whole life.  Maybe that is why you are afraid.  Your body is trying to protect you, freezing you like it always does. 

The man rolls down the window and throws your phone into the wind. 

You sit back and close your eyes, willing this nightmare to end.  You try to convince yourself that this is your father’s doing, that he is just trying to teach you a lesson.  You wouldn’t even be mad.   You just want to go home. 

But there is no sign of your father’s security team.  You pass dozens then hundreds of cars as you leave the residential area and take the highway.  None of your father’s vehicles are among them.  And how could they be?  They can track as far as your phone and then they have nothing.  There is no way for them to know where Miroh’s men are taking you.  You have no idea what they want.  You can’t even cry or panic because your body is shutting itself down in its panic.  The periphery of your gaze is obscured in shadow.   Their voices fade in and out, rarely directed at you anyway.  They seem to know you will not answer.  They have experience with this sort of thing. 

Of course they do.  Miroh is your father’s only equal.  Your father does nothing by halves.  Miroh would only send the best. 

You leave the highway and turn onto a country road out of the city.  Wherever they are taking you, it is far and they are unhurried.  You have a long time to stew in your anxiety.    

You can only see directly in front of you, through the windshield and the rear-view mirror.  You stare, willing one of your father’s black cars to appear in it even though you know that will not happen.  The only cars are civilian cars and even those begin to disappear as they take side roads to their own destinations.  Soon it is just one other car trailing you at a distance.  It is a beat-up civilian truck, not very big, a splotchy, peeling burgundy.   The rims are muddy from frequent use and little washing. 

It is ugly but it could be the last thing you see for a while.  It makes you stare more intensely. 

You are focussing so hard on the tiny details that you do not even notice it is speeding up.  It goes from a distant spot to filling the rear-view in moments.  

The driver mumbles a curse to himself, shaking his head and frowning. 

“What’s this idiot doing?” he grumbles.  “As if we don’t have enough to deal with.  Now we got some drunk on the road.” 

The truck is swerving, back and forth, then it speeds up and whips past your car.  It startles the driver, making him veer a hard right as the truck goes left around him.  He shouts a curse even though the other driver can’t hear, the truck already speeding away into the darkness.  There are no street lamps on the country road so it completely vanishes, disappearing when it leaves the glow of your headlights. 

There is a moment of quiet.  A tunnel of light.  Darkness around it. 

The truck appears again in the middle of it, parked and blocking the entire road lengthwise.  The driver shouts another curse and slams on the brakes to stop from barrelling into it. 

The whole car lurches with the sudden halt.  You snap forward and back again, held down by the seatbelt.  The other two hit the seats in front of them, cursing as they fix themselves.  The weapons guy drops his gun and it clatters somewhere on the ground of the vehicle.  You watch him dive down, cursing to himself before he finds it. 

“Get him out of the way!” the driver shouts, pointing to the stopped vehicle.   The two men get out of the car, sounding more aggravated by the obstacle than afraid.  The other one pulls a gun so they are both armed as they approach the vehicle. 

The men circle the truck.  You can see they are yelling and cursing again.  They come stomping back over to the vehicle.   Even with all the windows rolled up, you can hear him as he shouts, “There’s no one fucking there!” 

“What!” the driver returns, pointing ahead.  “He didn’t just disappear!  Check the—”  

He is interrupted by the rattle of unexpected thunder – what sounds like someone running up and over the car from behind.  You both look up as if you can see through the car roof.  The men outside react just as fast, guns raised.  Shots are swiftly fired and you cover your ears, flinching. 

The figure comes into view.  It feels like your heart stops. 

Felix takes a flying leap off the roof of the car and comes swinging into view.  He lands on the shoulders of one of the men.  In one sharp move, Felix snaps the man’s neck.  When his body crumples, Felix jumps, tackling the other man and knocking his gun out of the way.  He pulls his own gun out of his waistband and you don’t even have time to cover your eyes before a bullet shatters the man’s temple.  That body falls too. 

It was a matter of seconds.  The driver scarcely has time to react.  He is fumbling with the glove compartment when Felix walks up to the car and shoots his window.   The bullet does not penetrate the glass but it fractures it, sending shards flying onto the man. 

You shriek, your voice coming back to you.  Felix smacks the broken window with the butt of the gun, shattering it completely.  He unlocks the car, his face devoid of all emotion as he throws open the door and reaches in.  He grabs the man by the scruff of his neck and repeatedly slams his head against the steering wheel, knocking him out cold. 

He closes the door with a kick and tucks his gun back in his waistband. 

Adrenaline completely takes over your body.  You do not think or reflect, only feel and act.   Felix steps toward the car to open your door but you are already pushing it open.  He steps back when it flies past him, already breathing hard when you stumble out of the vehicle on shaky legs. 

“Do you have any idea—” he starts, his deep voice breaking.  “Any, any idea how worried I was?  And those stupid, fucking, incompetent—”

He is pointing to nowhere, just gesticulating in his emotions.  It all seems to pour of him, terror and agony, anger and helplessness.  He is wearing casual clothes, ripped jeans, a sleeveless red flannel over a t-shirt.  He was probably sitting at home when he jumped into action.    

His dark roots are starting show in his golden hair.  You will have to colour that for him, you think, giddily, half-mad. 

“You could have died,” he is saying.  “They could have—”

You throw your arms around his neck and crash into him.  It is a collision of a kiss, more teeth than lips until you figure out to close your mouth. 

Those men could not move him but you can.   He backs up under the guiding push of your soft hands, walking, walking, walking, each quick backward step until you have him pressed up against the truck, your lips still locked.  When you finally separate it is with a gasping, wet split.  You stare at each other, taking in the reality of the other person.  Him, with blood disappearing into the red threads of his flannel.  You, alive, unharmed, right here in front of him with no one to stop him from kissing you again. 

He grabs you by the neck and pulls you back to him, kissing you with an open-mouthed desperation that has you practically sobbing with need.  He flips your positions, cupping the back of your head so you are not hurt when he pins you to the truck.  You sink your fingers into his hair, wrapping a leg around his waist as he grinds against the softest spot of you.  He licks into your mouth, making a rumbling noise of deep, heartfelt satisfaction that makes you throb. 

His lips are pink and raw when he stops for a breath.  You kiss the side of his face, clinging to him, making a pleading noise when he does not resume kissing you. 

He steps back and points to the car. 

“Get in the truck,” he says firmly.  “This isn’t the time.  Don’t argue.” 

You have no desire whatsoever to argue.  You climb into the passenger seat while Felix makes a phone call.  You watch him through the window, running a hand through his hair, his mouth pink, his shirt blood-stained. 

You have always known Felix was capable of this sort of thing, but seeing it is very different than imagining it.  Before it was some nebulous concept of a person but now the reality of him collides with the boy who has been sharing your bed for years.  This is the same boy who needed your help to tie his school tie.  Cartoon-watching, computer-building Felix, with his dry wit and toothy smiles. 

You are not sure what it says about you that you are not afraid of him, not even a little bit.  Maybe it is because you are not surprised.  Maybe it is something else.  But the only thing you want right now is for him to put his arms around you. 

He gets into the truck and sits there for a moment, just breathing as he looks down at his phone.  A thought flickers across his eyes, a twitch of his brows, then he turns off the phone and tosses it into the backseat.   The gun follows with a clatter.  You look back at both then at him with shock. 

Felix has never turned off that phone.  It is always completely charged and within reach.  The GPS cannot be tracked if it is off.  Your father cannot reach him if it is off.   It is never supposed to be off. 

You stare at him, tracing his profile as he pushes his hair back then starts the car.   You only look away when you pass the other vehicle, the unconscious driver still slumped over the wheel.  You turn your head, watching the scene disappear into the darkness behind you. 

“Your father’s men will clean it up,” Felix says, drawing your eyes back to him.  He does not look away from the road, resolutely focussed despite the lack of traffic on the country road.

“You left one alive,” you say.  “What if he wakes up?”

“Uhh, he’ll be lucky if he is conscious in two days,” Felix says with a scoff.  His lips draw into that thin line.  “Your father will want someone to interrogate.”

You look out the windshield and sigh.  You feel like you have aged years tonight yet it also feels like none of this really happened.  It seems impossible that moments ago you were staring through a different windshield, petrified. 

Felix looks at you.  You turn your head and meet his gaze, watching grief twist his features before he looks ahead again. 

“Did they hurt you?” he asks, gripping the wheel tight with both hands. 

You shake your head, still facing him, studying him. 

“I was thinking about you,” you say, the words escaping in a breathless slur.  “It was the only thing that made me feel safe.”  You find it easier to speak your feelings after everything.  It’s like all that fear blasted through a barricade.  You thought you might never see him again and all those feelings were trapped inside you.  You cannot help but let them pour out now, like blood seeping from an open wound, your hand shaking as you reach across the console to touch the side of his face. 

His breath stutters.  He takes your hand and for a moment holds it, squeezing it in his.  He does not look away from the road.  Eventually he puts your hand in your lap, curling it around your thigh and squeezing, then he grabs the wheel again. 

Your gaze drifts to the wheel then the overall truck.  The rest of reality comes back to you in increments and you suddenly realize this is obviously not one of your father’s cars. 

“Where did you get this truck?” you ask. 

“I stole it,” he says. 

“You stole a car?!” you shriek, voice naturally pitching up with surprise. 

He looks at you incredulously. 

“I just killed two men,” he says.  “You’re worried about the car?” 

“I don’t know!”  You slouch in your seat, looking out the window.  “Don’t talk to me, I’m traumatized.” 

He shakes his head but laughs a little.   You do not speak for a bit, the only sound the tires rolling over the gravel road.  Then Felix sighs. 

“They wouldn’t listen,” he says.  “Your father’s, hmmm, ‘professionals’.”  He rolls his eyes and clicks his jaw, clearly still pissed about it.  “I knew it had to be Miroh.  You were heading west to the highway when your GPS stopped.  I knew where they’d be taking you.  But your father’s geniuses thought you threw your phone and were running.  But you wouldn’t do that, yeah.  You want to be found.  That’s why you run.  You want him to care enough to chase you and bring you home.” 

You look out your window, resting your head in your hand as rows of dark trees pass you by. 

“Home,” you say.  “Miroh.  Not sure there’s going to be a difference in what’s waiting, is there?” 

Felix says nothing to this.  The gravel road comes to an end as you approach tarmac.  Instead of turning left to return to the highway, Felix turns right.  You look back through the window, confused, wondering if you mistook your location.  But no, you are definitely driving further into the countryside. 

“The highway is that way,” you say, looking at him.  His whole body is tense, eyes locked on the road.  “Aren’t we going home?”

“Yes,” he says, then turns up a different country road.  “Eventually.” 

You do not know what to expect with Felix.  His emotional fluctuation is not as blatant as yours, but he does waver unpredictably, one moment leaning towards you and then pulling away.  You do not know what he is planning and you do not ask.  You simply stare through the window as you turn up a few more roads, getting further and further from the main road until you turn into a small gravel lane between some fields.  Bushes surround the car on either side, the main road very far behind you. 

Felix turns off the car but keeps both hands on the wheel, still staring intensely out the front window.

“Where are we?” you ask, squinting through the dark at the fields.  It feels exceptionally quiet without the engine running. 

“This cannot happen again,” Felix says.

He is still facing forward, concentrating on nothing that you can see.  You look ahead then back at him, sighing with exasperation.  If he drove you out here to just to lecture you some more…

“I know,” you say.  “I shouldn’t have left in the first place.  I’m sorry.  I know it’s your job to—”

“This has nothing to do with my job,” he says.  He shakes his head.  “I— You—Do you understand how I—  This is— This is reckless.  Stupid.  It cannot happen again, yeah?  Do you get me?”

“I know,” you say.  “And it won’t.  I get it.  No more running, I just—”

Your breath catches when he looks at you.  There is so much heat in his gaze that you feel immediately flushed.

He undoes his seatbelt then reaches across the console and undoes yours.  When you hear the click, it all registers.  You reach for him as he wraps a hand around the back of your neck and pulls.  This kiss is a crash as well, but a stumbling one, less vicious than thirsty.  Arms get tangled in seatbelts but he manages to whip them aside.  He guides you into his lap as you climb ungracefully over the console with all your shaking limbs. 

You make a sound like relief when you are in his lap, chests touching, knees pressing into his hips, arms around his neck.  His hands are under your borrowed hoodie, then under your shirt, palms splayed against the bare skin of your back as he kisses you with a wet open mouth, hungry and seeking, asking and taking. 

He reaches to the side and fumbles for something.  You squeal with surprise when the seat abruptly drops, your combined weight pushing it flat when he flips the lever.  The surprise passes and he spills back, taking you with him.   He yanks at your hoodie and you sit up to pull your arms through.  Embarrassingly enough, you get tangled trying to remove it at the same time as your shirt.   You get them both off, laughing shyly and feeling ridiculous with your ungraceful action. 

He blinks up at you, his face full of much more wonder and affection than you think you merit.  It is almost more embarrassing than your clumsiness. 

Your awkward hand covers your collarbone but he takes that hand and brings it to his mouth, kissing you palm then your fingertips.  You throb with the recollection of the last time he took your fingers in his mouth, except this time he doesn’t look away, all that heat centred on you. 

He grasps your hips then slides his hands up your body.  You wonder if other people feel like one big shivering mess at such simple touches.   You blame it on today’s chaotic episode.  For a moment, you were nothing and no one, floating in a bleak emptiness with no past or future.  Just a bartering tool, business collateral, a thing sitting in a car for transport to be used by a different bad man for financial leverage. 

Felix touches you and your body comes to life, all that humanity rushing back.  You’re a person and so is he, flushed and excited, just a little messy but earnest.  You find yourselves in a stolen moment in a stolen car, nothing yours but each other. 

He palms your breasts through your bra then fumbles with the clasp, his usually dexterous hands suddenly jumpy.  It makes you both laugh, tittering little sounds as you get it off and toss it aside.  His calloused hands on your bare skin erases any lingering embarrassment.

Straddling his hips, you rock against him.  The hard line of him is pushing at the fly of his jeans, as receptive and eager as you.  You make similar sounds, soft low hums, used to keeping quiet.  You remember you don’t have to restrain yourself so you moan when he cups you through your shorts, grinding the heel of his palm against the soft wet heat of you.  You push his shirt up, running your hands over his chest, noticing a few scars but not lingering much right now. 

You touch him like he touches you, hands wandering, working each other up until you are wild in your wanting.  He makes a rough sound when you squeeze him through his jeans, then he is trying to work off your shorts while you unbutton his fly.  You have to get off him to take the rest of your clothes off.  His fingers are twitchy as they scrabble over his fly, unzipping then shuffling his jeans down his hips. 

You are confronted with that moment of intention again, when his jeans are at his knees and his shirt is pushed up, when you are completely naked in a car in the middle of nowhere and climbing back on top of him, making the deliberate choice to do what you are doing.  It is exhilarating.  It is scary.  You have big fears, about the repercussions in the world outside this vehicle, and you have little fears, like what if you are not good at this and you let him down after everything. 

But that seems impossible when he looks at you like that, warm and desirous, breathing hard as he drags his fingers down your body and slips them between your thighs.  You touch him too, marvelling in his sounds and faces, the flush of his cheeks, his mussed hair.  With just his fingers inside you, he is already looking at you like you are a singular miracle. 

It does feel miraculous.  When you think of where you started, when you think of who you are, this seems so impossible.  But you are here, losing yourself to his steady touch and tender gaze.  You grab his wrist, instinctively seeking control when he works you up to an orgasm, making you clench around his fingers.  You shudder on top of him, your head tipping back.   

“Fuck,” he says, so low and guttural it hardly sounds like a word.  Then he says softly, “Sweetheart.” This is accompanied with a long touch inside you, dragging his fingers so slowly, drawing out your orgasm until your whole body feels soft and pliant.  You ache with the loss of him when he withdraws his touch, just his thumb rolling across that oversensitive nub of pleasure.  Your skin already feels sweaty where you are touching, your hand curled around the length of him as you position yourself above him. 

Even with his effort, it is a stretch and burn when you first sink down.  You smack a hand on the roof of the truck, scratching your nails over it as you sit in his lap with him inside you. 

He curses.  His head falls back, his eyes closing. 

“Is it okay?” you ask in a strained voice. 

He replies, “Ahh…” then, “Uh!” then “Uhhhahh…” then finally, “Yes, yes.  God yes.”  He lifts his head and looks at where he is inside you, then he looks up at you.  “Are you, uh, are you okay?” 

His voice is a raspy thing, his face so raw with pleasure that you find yourself giggling in spite of yourself. 

“Yeah,” you say on a breath.  “Just… a lot.” 

He sits up, careful not to jostle you too much.  You still feel him moving inside you.  When you clench, he makes a sound, but he is not distracted from his mission, cupping the back of your head and bringing you close for a kiss.  You sink into it, your hands sliding onto his shoulders as his tongue slips past your lips. 

He helps you move, both of you following base instinct and little else.  It starts to feel deliriously good.  You are light-headed from kissing, worked up from knowing he is as close to you as he possibly can be. 

You move slowly, hands roaming over each other.  You get his flannel off and toss it into the passenger seat.  Then he braces himself to move his hips better, holding you steady.  You touch the roof so you don’t hit your head, rolling your hips to meet him.  It’s good but not enough and soon he is turning you over, laying you on your back under him.  He has to separate from you to get comfortable. 

You whine, touching yourself, and he smacks his head hard against the roof with surprise.  You laugh, slapping a hand over your mouth while he winces and rubs his head. 

“Are you okay?” you ask, still giggling.  Fortunately, he chuckles, wincing again for show before sighing. 

“Never better,” he says, and takes off his shirt.  You are both perspiring and not just from exertion, the car trapping all your combined heat and breathing.  The windows have completely fogged over and it shields you completely.  You have never felt more safe.  You eagerly open your legs to him as he settles on top of you and finds his place again. 

You wrap around him, whimpering and moaning and sighing when he finds a rhythm in this position.  He cradles you in his arms, rocking into you until you are dizzy with it.  He somehow feels deeper and deeper with every motion.  He kisses your chest and throat, up to your ear, across your face, your mouth.   You kiss him back, hooking your ankles behind his back and pulling him hard against you like you want more. 

“Got you,” he murmurs, lips grazing your ear.  “Got you, sweetheart.” 

He makes you come again, tears springing to your eyes from the sensation of it all.   When his breathing gets frantic and his hips erratic, you let him go.  You breathe hard under him as he sits back and grabs his discarded flannel, coming into that.

 He tosses it aside after, then runs his fingers through his hair as he stares down at you.  You slowly sit up and lean in for one more kiss.  He obliges, cupping your face and kissing you deeply. 

You want to wrap around him again, hold him to your chest and lay there until you are both ready for more.

You take what you can get.  This was dangerous, but you have no regrets.  Even when you are both dressed and in your own seats, you feel enflamed and alive and glowing. 

He tosses his flannel out the window, leaving it on the ground behind you.  You roll down the windows and return to the highway.  It is a long drive home. 

-

Your father does not punish you.  He does not punish Felix in place of you.  The house is deathly silent when you arrive home.  Your father is in his office and Felix takes you there to see him. 

Your father does not even look up from his book.  After a moment he asks, “Did they hurt you?” 

You shake your head but he isn’t looking at you, so you are forced to find your voice and answer, “No.” 

“Good,” he says and turns the page to his book. 

You are teetering on the edge of panic all over again, waiting for him to erupt, to throw something at you, to grab you by the hair and give you a beating worse than anything ever before.  But he just turns another page to his book, so it’s you that erupts. 

“It wasn’t my fault,” you say in a frantic rush. “Hyunjin and I broke up and I was upset so I wanted to see Jisung, that’s it, I just wanted to see my friend.  It’s just because—”

Felix puts a hand on your shoulder, trying to stop you from running your mouth when you don’t need to do so.  It succeeds in silencing you, your voice breaking.  You swallow down a sob. 

Your father finally lifts his head.  His expression is completely blank.  There is no trace of anger, no sadness, no guilt.  You do not know what to do when he is like this.  He is giving you nothing worth a reaction so all your emotions bubble inside you with nowhere to go, spilling over and scalding you like a boiling pot.

“Go to bed,” your father says.  “What’s done is done.” 

It is not surprising that you have a nightmare, waking in a fit that even Felix cannot comfort.  Your half-asleep mind panics when he grabs you, forgetting who he is.  Only when he repeats your name in that sweet, low voice do you remember yourself.  You collapse against him, shaking while he strokes your back and talks gently to you, lulling you back to sleep.  It remains fitful and uneven but you get through the night. 

You are expecting the punishment to come in the morning but your father does not speak to you even though he is in the house.  You do not see him all day.  You have another restless night of bad dreams, Felix comforting you as best he can.  You wake the next morning thinking that surely, the punishment would come today.  There is no way your father is letting you get away with this.  He is planning something, something big, something you will never forget. 

But your father is gone and so is the security team.  Felix phones him and your father informs him that he had some impromptu business to take care of, that he would be gone for the next week.   

You are driving to school on Monday morning when Felix says, “Maybe he thinks it was punishment enough on its own.”  

“Do you really believe that?” you ask. 

Felix does not answer because he knows how far-fetched that is.  He knows your father as well as you do. 

There are only a couple more days of school.  This late in the semester, the lessons are completed, exams being graded.  Everyone is gearing up for graduation, signing yearbooks, taking pictures.   Classes offer more down time than work, letting students mingle.  It is easy few handful of days, the most exceptionally fun days of the whole year. 

Jisung would not miss it.  And he would not abandon you after your conversation.  When he is missing from school on Monday, you are immediately filled with horror. 

Felix looks at you when he realizes Jisung is missing, doing his best to calm you with his eyes. 

“He wouldn’t,” you murmur, just loud enough for Felix to hear.  “Tell me he wouldn’t…” 

Felix says nothing.  He knows your father as well as you do. 

You try phoning Jisung at various intervals through the day but it keeps going straight to voicemail.  Jisung is not great at keeping his phone charged so this is not unusual on its own, but you cannot shake the dread in the pit of your gut. 

Before the day ends, you all but throw yourself at Felix.  All it takes is one teary-eyed please for him to nod, understanding. 

You have the driver take you to Jisung’s house.  Felix steps out of the car and calls your father, needing to report your diversion from routine, but also hopefully gleaning some intel into your father’s potential involvement.  Meanwhile, you run up the porch and frantically bang on the door, not stopping until Jisung’s mother whips it open. 

“What?” she snaps.  “Why are you banging— oh it’s you.”

“Where is he?” you ask.  “Is he sick?  Can I see him?” 

“He’s just at the hospital,” she says like this is no big deal at all, even while you are sweating through your clothes with anxious terror. 

“The hospital?” you ask.  “Why is he—”

“Calm down!  He just had an allergic reaction,” she says.  “Stupid child ate peanuts and didn’t have his pen.  He’ll be fine.” 

“Can you tell me which hospital?” you say.  Some tension leaves your body with this revelation but even so, you will not feel truly at ease until you can see that Jisung is safe with your own two eyes.

His mother tells you where to find him and you thank her while she closes the door in your face.  You are feeling lighter already, heart bursting with light when you spin and jump off the porch. 

You rush up to Felix, eager to report your good news, but you draw to a slow stop at the look on his face.  This is not his professional indifference, listening to commands, but instead an expression of obvious remorse.  He looks apologetic, eyes full of pity, as he extends his arm, handing you the phone. 

You press the device to your ear, heart skipping beats in the worst way. 

“Hello?” you say. 

“After everything I have done for you,” your father says.  “After everything I have given you.  After my leniency despite your repeated abominable behaviour.  For you to end things with an appropriate boy to go chasing after some no-count, miscreant loser with no future and no—”

“What are you talking about?” you say.  “I don’t even know—”

“You stupid little—”  You can picture his face, mouth frothing with rage, brows pinched in fury.  You can picture him catching his breath as he slams a hand on his desk.  “Do you think I couldn’t see it all over your face?  That you were out whoring around with that nobody boy you call a friend?  I could see your commitment to the Hwang boy was a front but I foolishly thought you were making an effort to improve yourself.  How long have you been deceiving me?  Fronting with the Hwang boy while you run around with your schoolboy behind my back?” 

He thinks you’re dating Jisung.  He thinks this is all because of Jisung.  You cannot tell him the truth without ruining your life, Felix’s life, and Hyunjin’s life. 

You scramble for a defence, a denial, but memories of you and Felix flood your mind, the panic of that night takes over you, and soon you are freezing up. 

“He didn’t do anything wrong,” you eventually manage, your voice quivering with the rest of you.  “Please, Jisung is completely innocent, he’s just my friend, he—”

“Please,” your father says derisively.  “You have the audacity to say please to me now.  To ask for my permission now.   You listen to me and you listen well.  What I did to this boy was nothing. Having an allergen slipped into his food was a warning to you.  Your one and only warning, a warning I am only giving you because I prefer not to deal with civilian messes when I can avoid it.  But I whole-heartedly assure you, that if I find out you are in contact with this boy, if I find out you are even thinking about looking in his direction, it is over for him.  I will have him shot in the fucking head in front of you if that’s what it will take to get through to you.” 

You are bombarded with the image of Felix shooting those men.  Suddenly, you imagine it is Jisung across from him instead.  You look at Felix with a frantic, terrified look.  Your voice is weak when you say, “Dad, please, he’s—”

“Do not talk to back me!” he screams.  “You spoiled little slut!  He’s trash, is what he is!  Do you know what kind of life I have given you?  How dare you insult me this way.  How dare you throw it all on that waste of a person.  You go to that boy and you tell him to stay away or it will be the end of him.  Do you understand me?  Say yes or so help me—”

“Yes,” you say, sucking in a hard breath to keep your tears at bay.  “Yes, fine, just leave him alone.  Don’t hurt him, please.” 

Your father hangs up without another word.   

You look up at Felix.  He takes the phone, sucking in a breath of his own. 

“I’m sorry,” he says. 

“It’s not your fault,” you say. 

Jisung is sitting up in his hospital bed when you find him.  His phone is a dead brick sitting on his bedside table, uncharged as anticipated.  He is sipping from a carton and watching television when you walk into the room, surprising him.  His face lights up with delight and he chokes on his drink, dribbling a bit down his front. 

You hurry to his side, worried, but he just laughs and wipes his chin. 

“Hey, hey, don’t worry,” he says.  “It was just a flare-up.  They’re just keeping me for observation to make sure I don’t, you know, suffocate and die in my sleep.”  He says this like it is ridiculous and funny but you are overwhelmed with the image of Jisung lying still in this bed, all the life and colour of your wonderful and vibrant best friend drained to nothing. 

Jisung can see something is wrong.  The humour falls from his expression, replaced with concern as he sees you well up with tears. 

“Hey,” he says, softer.  “I said I’m fine.  Don’t worry.  Is this about something else?  Are you okay?” 

You are not crying but you can feel the emotion in your throat.  If you speak, you think it will pour out in a flood.  You can only sit there, perched on the edge of his bed, staring at him.  He still looks strange without his hat.  Although he is joking around, there is an admitted pallor to his complexion.  He is on the mend but he has clearly been very ill for a day at least. 

That pallor and serious expression look so wrong on his face.  When you think of Jisung, you think of happiness, the first burst of sunshine in your life after growing up in shade.  You think about his awkward laughter during your first conversation, his many hugs, his stupid jokes, his winks and encouragements.  You did not know how to love anyone or anything until you met him. 

In your silence, he looks around, spotting Felix hovering in the doorway. 

“Felix!” he says.  “Hey!  What’s going on?”

“Hey,” Felix says gently.  He looks at you, sees your downturned face as you gather yourself.  He smiles at Jisung with his best distracting grin, like everything is fine, like everything has always been fine.  “Just saying bye, man,” Felix says. 

“Bye?”  Jisung asks.  “Where are you going?  Right before grad?  Not back to Australia, are you?”  Jisung looks at you and pets your head.  “Is Felix leaving?  Is that why you’re upset?”  

“No, Jisung,” you say, forcing your voice.  You shake your head.  “No, it’s not Felix.  I just…”  You look up and meet his eyes, so big and concerned.  You see him at age twelve, thirteen, fourteen, all those years he coaxed you out of your shell and ran around with you.  He was the first person to look back at you, to see something worth reaching for.   You want to touch his face and hug him, but you are certain if you start any of that, you will not be able to do what you need to do.  “Jisung, I’m leaving,” you say.  “I won’t be able to see you again.” 

“What?” he asks, confused for just a moment before he shakes his head and frowns.  “This is about your dad, isn’t it?  Is he doing something?  You have to let me help you—”

“Jisung, you can’t help me—”

“Yes, I can—”

“You can’t—”

“Then who’s going to?” he demands. 

“Not you!”  Anger and sadness combine and you look away, staring at the crinkled juice carton on his bedside table.  He is here because of you.  “Jisung, he made you sick.  He will try to kill you.” 

“What?”  Jisung asks, barely above a whisper.  “H-how?  I don’t even—”

“He has professionals,” you say, meeting his bewildered gaze again.  “And he can do much worse than this.” 

Jisung opens and closes his mouth, failing to find the words, then finally he shakes his head and says, “No.  I don’t care.  I’m not scared, I’m—”

“I’m scared,” you say.  “Jisung, I don’t want to see you ever again, because if something happened to you—”  You cannot conceive of a world where this is no Han Jisung.  You would not be the person you are now if he had never existed.  You would not have any emotions at all.  For the first time, you do not curse your sensitive feelings, rather you relish in feeling them at all, that you have a friend that it hurts to lose.   “Jisung, please,” you say.  “Don’t make this harder for me.  I’m going to go and we can’t see each other again.  The best thing you can do for me is have a good life.” 

Jisung starts crying, shaking his head and rubbing his eyes. 

“That’s not fair,” he says.  “What about you?  What am I supposed to do?”

“I’m sorry,” you say.  You laugh dryly, looking aside. “It would have been better for you if you never knew me.”

“You already know that’s not true,” he says in a small voice. 

You are certain his face is full of pain but you cannot bring yourself to look at him again.  You try to say the word goodbye but it gets stuck in your throat, so finally you just stand up to leave.   

He grabs your arm, tugging you back.  You stare at the bed, not at him. 

“I said my promise was forever,” he says.  “I don’t care if it’s in five years, or ten years, or fifty.  I know I’m not—I know I can’t do much but—if you need me—”

You just nod, scrunching your face to stop the tears.  It does not work.  You pull your arm away and he lets you go, his hands falling helplessly limp to the bed.  You stare at the ground as you walk away, not looking back at him, not even looking at Felix. 

You are standing in the doorway when Jisung says your name one more time, barely more than a whisper yet stopping you faster than all your father’s screaming. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t save you,” he says. 

You look up at Felix.  You know when you leave this place, you are going to take his hand.  When you climb into bed tonight, you are going to wrap your arms around him and let him hold and comfort you.  You are going to soothe his nightmares the way he does yours.  You are going to carve out a corner of light and happiness in your otherwise dark life.  You are going to do that because you know how, because having a friend made all the difference. 

“Oh, Jisung,” you say, wiping your face.  “You did save me.” 

You do not stop again, walking past Felix and into the corridor.  He follows swiftly behind, laying a hand on your lower back then taking your hand.  You squeeze it and he squeezes back.  You let him guide you out of the building, your vision blurry.  He knows there is nothing he can say to help right now, but he touches you gently and helps you along.  When you get home, he trails behind you as you trudge up the stairs to the bedroom. 

“Can I do something?” he asks. 

You shake your head.  “Not right now, thank you.” Your voice is still weak.  “Maybe later.” 

“Okay,” he says.  “I’ll be here.”

You nod and continue up the stairs, not even sure what your plan is right now.  It feels strange to go about your usual routine but that is what you do, your body carrying you automatically through each task, changing clothes, putting your uniform away, washing your face. 

You sit at your desk and decide you might as well go through your stack of school supplies.  You have been dumping textbooks and notebooks here as the semester ends.  You sort the empty notebooks from the used ones, the books you will never re-read from the ones to shelve.  You find your yearbook in the middle of it all.  You realize you never actually read Jisung’s message. 

You open the book, skimming the other messages from other students.  Lots of Have a Great Summer from Hyunjin’s friends, but a few cute personalized memos too.  Felix’s joking scrawl is at the bottom of a page and it makes you smile and shake your head.  You smile again when you read Hyunjin’s note: Our lives will not be meaningless.  He ended it with a playful, LOVE YOU MY GIRLFRIEND!!

You flip through the book.  You were not in any clubs or on any teams so there are very few pictures of you, just your posed portrait and one photo on a collage page – you, Jisung, and Felix awkwardly smiling as the yearbook photographer snapped a picture of you at lunchtime. 

You swallow.  You already know turning to the last page is going to make you cry.  You could avoid it.  You could close this book and never think about it again.  Your father would never walk into any situation that would deliberately compromise his mental and emotional integrity.  He would deride you for doing so.  You used to think he was right, that your feelings were a weakness. 

You realize your feelings make him weak, not you.  He wants you to be a robotic doll, devoid of feelings, blindly obedient, but you are not.  You will never strive to be that. 

You flip to the final page, filled with Jisung’s writing.  You smile and cry and curse out your father, then close the book and hug it to your chest, your heart beating steadily where you cradle it close. 

-

To the bestest most awesome girl in the world (not just saying that because you’re the only girl I know) from the bestest most awesome boy in the world (including your evil boyfriend, sorry!) 

Usually it’s easy for me to put my thoughts in writing but I’m drawing a blank.  How can I tell you in words how important your friendship is when that friendship is made up of more than words?  I never thought I’d be someone who runs off to parties or sneaks out onto rooftops, and I never thought I’d have so many friends.  Thank you for giving me the world.  I hope we can keep exploring it together. I know no matter what, we’ll still be friends, even if we’re far away after school ends.  Our parents might suck and we might be kinda weird as hell, but we have each other and that counts for something.  We loved each other first so no matter what else happens that will be always true.  Boyfriends will come and go but your best friend is forever!!  And you know I’ll be ready with a shovel if anyone breaks your heart.  I know it’s sappy to say, but it’s always safe with me.  

Times might be hard and we might drift apart, but I know we’ll see each other again and it will be like we never left.  Take care of yourself if I’m not there.  Keep fighting!!!  Nothing will be impossible for you. 

Your best friend now + always,

Han Jisung ♡

#skz smut #stray kids smut #lee felix smut #lee felix x reader #felix x reader #skz x reader

[currentfications]

Ocean Eyes | Part 3

Pairing: Bada Lee x Producer!Reader

Synopsis: Latrice bailed on you for dinner, but set you up for a date with Bada instead.

Warning: Swearing, Flirting, Legs

AN: Sorry for the late upload and shorter than expected chapter!! Still trying to get over Monday - will try to upload over the next few days. Thank you to everyone for following along~

Previous | Next

After finally getting the keys to your recording studio, you were overjoyed and decided to take Latrice out for celebratory dinner.

Y/N: Dinner’s on me make yourself available

Latrice: 🤨

Latrice: u tryna poison me again?

Y/N: It was one time Latrice get over it

Latrice: I don’t have comprehensive health insurance here I’m not risking it

Y/N: 🙄 I’m taking you out for dinner

Latrice: Keep talking

Y/N: THE STUDIO IS READYYYY 🤩

Y/N: And I don’t wanna drink alone

Latrice: Wait that’s actually good news I’m so happy for you ahhhh 🥰🥰🥰

Latrice: But still no

Y/N: What why what did I do?

Latrice: Nothing I am busy

Y/N: 🧐

Y/N: Busy?

Y/N: …

Y/N: Waitttttt a damn minute

Y/N: I want a name cunt who tf you linked up with

Y/N: HELLO??? MA’AM?

Y/N: Whatever happened to sharing is caring huh?

Latrice: 👉🏾👈🏾

Y/N: Oh god what have you done

Y/N: Tell me it’s not who I think it is you dumb fucking bitch 😇

Latrice: 🤭

Y/N: Ms. Kabamba 😇

Team BEBE was filming the last bit of reaction segments with Mnet while they were interrupted by a few raps on their door. “Come in!” Lusher greeted her co-captain dance mate in with a hug.

Latrice slowly poked her head through the door, “Hey Bada can I borrow you for a quick second?”

Bada looked up, confused, but walked over nonetheless. “Is everything alright?”

“Calling in a personal favour,” Latrice smiled nervously, “can you go on a dinner tonight?”

“Dinner? Sure!” The choreographer hummed and nodded excitedly, “BEBE with Jam Republic?”

“You and Y/N,” Latrice snickered, “I have a date and had to bail, but she’ll be much much kinder to me if you’d go in my place instead.”

Bada raised an eyebrow and pointed at herself. Perplexed, she sounded a little dumbfounded, “Me? Why?”

Latrice rolled her eyes at the obvious question, “She has a fat celebrity crush on you since she the first episode aired, that’s why. Now please, pretty please with a cherry on top, would you go in my place tonight so she don’t-” Latrice stopped dead as you decided you’ve had enough of her ignoring your text and started calling her instead. Her eyes widen slightly in fear as she turned to the taller dancer. “Bada please I’ll owe you one, I’m so so sorry-” she swiped and picked up your call, “heyyyy Y/N, I was just telling Bada about your dinner plan tonight. She’s super keen! Here you go-”

Latrice palmed the phone to the choreographer like a hot potato, mouthing ‘thank you’ at the blonde.

Dinner with Bada? The sentence hasn’t fully registered in your brain as you begun to rip your high school mate a new one. “Ms. Kabamba,” you uttered with the coldest tone you could muster, a tone that Latrice knows all too well. A tone you only take with her when she knows she’s done something stupid, again.

“Sorry to disappoint,” a familiar voice broke you out of your rant. “Ms. Lee here. I heard we have plans?”

Damnit that cunt, I’ll deal with her later. You quickly composed yourself, “Never a disappointment, love. Any dietary restrictions?” You tried to mitigate your hoarse voice (from screaming ‘CUNNNNTTTTTT’ right before Latrice picked up the phone) and previously harsh tone by being as sweet as possible with your word choice, knowing that phone call rarely - if ever - made you sound more personable.

Love? Your husky delivery had the tall dancer flustered, trying to hide a blush taking form on her cheeks. Bada gulped, hard, and stumbled over her words, “N-no, I’m not picky. Where and when?” She tried to pass it off as cool and nonchalant, but Lusher seemed to have picked up on her change in tone.

“I’ll pick you up when you finish for the day? Latrice gave me their schedule.” Bada hummed over the phone, you can almost see her cute head bop as she does. Okay, dinner with Bada. One-on-one. I can do this, no biggie, fuck. “See you then, Love.”

Latrice gave Bada a parting hug when the call was over, the latter still bewildered by the unexpected call. “Thank you so, so much. You’re a life saver. Have fun later!” She quickly shuffled out the room, shutting the door behind her.

Lusher peaked over the tall dancer’s shoulder, Bada’s cheeks still warm from the conversation. She gasped as the blonde slowly clasped her hands onto her face, letting out a small shriek. “Oh god Bada what was that all about?” The co-captain raised an eyebrow at her leader’s demeanour.

“Lusher, did you bring an extra outfit?” Was the first thing that came out of Bada’s mouth.

Y/N: You’re off the hook

Y/N: For now

Y/N: I will grill you afterwards 😇

Latrice: What a weird way to say thank u but ok

Latrice: ure welcome

When you pulled up in your bike, you did not expect the gorgeous specimen to be walking out the building in a skirt. You gulped and paused for a (significant) moment, marvelling at her (legs). Her hair sat perfectly, framing her face. She smiled and waved at you, walking (omg her legs) over with a small prance (her legs y’all). “Hey, thanks for picking me up.”

“God you look amazing.” After pulling yourself together, you realised a slight problem. “I am so sorry,” you quickly apologised, motioning her skirt (legs), “I did not plan accordingly.”

She chuckled and shook her head, “Don’t worry about these, tights underneath. My hair however, is a different story.”

Relieved, you handed her a helmet with a smile and hopped onto the bike, signalling her to get on. Bada giggled and straddled herself behind you, wrapping her hands around your waist. Both of you were suddenly very grateful for the helmets for keeping you road safe and hiding blushes. “You good?” You did one last check. Bada hummed and gave you a soft squeeze before you both rode off.

Tag list: @bada-lee-ily @lil-elliesgf

#bada lee #bada lee x reader #fanfic #swf2 #swf2 x reader