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#I talk a lot its difficult to tag correctly
orionsangel86 · 2 years
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Following the release of the pilot of that bloody Winchester prequel yesterday, a lot of people have been excitedly posting interviews and articles on it and starting up the meta and spec again. I thought I'd be able to avoid seeing it on here but this is the SPN website so clearly that was a bad assumption.
Thing is, I genuinely believed I was okay. This year has been SO GOOD for me for healing the wounds that SPN carved into me. With OFMD, WWDITS, The Sandman, IWTV, and now Good Omens 2 news I have been happily existing in a little joy filled bubble everytime I come on Tumblr.
I just scrolled past a post which had screenshots of an article from Robbie Thompson on the Winchesters. I thought I'd read it out of curiosity. I shouldn't have.
It brought everything back. Talk of the Winchester brothers and how "theres no Dean if there aint no Sam" and how they arent changing a damn thing about SPN canon, and how we will find out where Dean is, with the writer speculating he's telling the story from heaven...
I don't know why, but it hurt.
It was like something had decided to prod really hard at the old SPN scars, the ones that never really healed right to begin with, and are still jagged and tender even after 7 months of solid healing thanks to only consuming media that actually respects me as a person.
I haven't felt that kind of pain since Jared Padalecki last opened the hole in his face to spew bullshit about how the finale from Hell was so perfect and right for the brothers *gags*.
It wasnt even a bad article, but it acknowledged things I had tried to erase from my head. God. Im so fucked up. That horrible show fucked me up so much. I wanted to just shut down tumblr and mentally check myself out for a bit and put on the Dreamcast on spotify or something, but I had to get this off my chest, even if people read this and think im fucking moronic for caring so much and wasting energy on this stupid show and why do I care right?
7 fucking years I devoted to that horseshit show. 7 fucking years I held it in my heart and adored it even though the whole time it clawed and carved at me and hated me because I wasnt the audience it wanted.
One little article and I feel like ive been triggered even though that word should be far too strong for something as stupid as getting emotional over a TV show. Im having a minor breakdown in my living room at 10pm on a Wednesday night in 2022 over fucking SPN.
I dont even know why im openly admitting this on the spn website when I know its gonna subject me to hate and a whole mass loss of followers but I had to get this out. I had to write it down. Its so difficult to express how this show makes me feel. I dont wanna be the one you all roll your eyes at and call a negative anti but I also don't understand how everyone else seems to have slipped so easily back into old habits.
I wanna scream at everyone not to be fooled. But I dont wanna stamp on other peoples joy either. So I guess I gotta remove myself from the equation here. Fool me once etc etc.
Im gonna have to unfollow some long term mutuals, especially those that arent tagging content. If you correctly tag every winchester related post and reblog then at least my filters will block them, but if they slip through im gonna have to unfollow. I cant be having 10pm meltdowns over SPN at this point in my life. Not when there is so much good stuff out there to be focusing on instead.
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saramichielle · 8 months
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Review of Max Brallier's The Last Kids on Earth
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Genre: Juvenile fiction, Bluebonnet Award Winner
Target Audience: 3rd grade to 6th grade
Summary: After a monster apocalypse takes over his town, Jack Sullivan finds a rag-tag group of friends to survive with. Together, they take down the big bad monster they call "Blarg".
Justification: I chose this book for my Bluebonnet Award Winner due to its high reviews, and it being the inspiration for a Netflix show. I also chose to listen to this book in audiobook form.
Evaluation:
After listening to the audiobook version of this story, I believe it does add to the overall experience. The narrator does an excellent job of capturing the attitude of the main character and fully commits to setting a scene through sounds and descriptions.
The aspects of this work I'd like to evaluate are accuracy, plot, and language.
Max Brallier does a great job portraying the behavior of a middle-school boy. Despite being in an apocalyptic situation, Jack's character maintains the imagination and child-like behavior that is common among that age group. The friends we are introduced to throughout the book are slightly one dimensional, but Brallier does a good job capturing personalities common among young teens. While exaggerated a bit, the characters are similar to those you'd find in a real-life middle school.
The plot of this book based on fantasy albeit a terrifying one. Like adults, a lot of younger kids imagine how they would act in an apocalyptic setting. Brallier does a great job bringing this fantasy to life and creates an apocalyptic story that young readers can relate to. While the story has its fantastical elements, it develops in a realistic and logical way. The story begins with Jack having an encounter with a monster he names "Blarg". Brallier sets up the main plot point in this encounter by having the monster learn Jack's scent as he gets away. The other character introductions are also done in a believable way as Jack has to work to find Quint and June. Jack's relationship with his bully Dirk develops slowly, and it's a realistic display of learning to overcome differences and biases. Brallier does a great job of creating a satisfying end for the reader as well as set up a continuation of the story. The author balanced the realistic areas of the plot well with the fantastical elements younger readers will enjoy.
The best part of Brallier's writing in this book is the language he uses for the characters. It can be very difficult to correctly capture how young teens think and talk to each other, but Brallier manages to do this without being condescending to the reader. Jack's internal monologue throughout the story does a wonderful job of showing the reader his personality. His attitude is very confident and self-assured, and the language used by Brallier demonstrates that well. The author utilizes language to immerse the reader further into the story. The use of onomatopoeia's is heavy within the story, but they add to the experience instead of detracting from it. Overall, Brallier uses language to immerse readers into the world he has created, and he executes it well.
References
Brallier, M., & Holgate, D. (2015). The Last Kids on Earth. Viking.
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Tips on How to Write Dialogue
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Here's an updated version of my old post! As I've grown as a writer, I realized the wording and the tips of my old post weren't as good as they could be, so I decided to completely revamp it!
Dialogue is incredibly tricky, for both beginners and experienced writers alike. It can be too overworked, as in cluttered with speech tags and descriptions, or too bare-bones, struggling to have any liveliness.
The main reason dialogue is so difficult is because of the complexity of human communication. It's a paired dance between nonverbal and verbal communication, and how people's demeanor may or may not embody what's coming out of their mouth. Without visuals or audio at your disposal to act as an aid for the reader, writing a good, realistic conversation can be hard to get right.
Here are some tips and tricks for those who've been struggling with their dialogue!
1. Punctuate it Right
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No matter how good your writing is, readers will have a tough time loving it if it's improperly punctuated. Many of us have come across fanfictions where it is near-impossible to read the dialogue, or to distinguish between the people who are speaking. But knowing all the ways not to punctuate dialogue doesn't make it easy to figure out how to do it correctly.
Here's some sample dialogue to see correct punctuation in action.
"I am speaking," Character A says with a wave.
"I am replying," answers Character B, "but I also have something to say after my speech tag."
"You do not have to put a comma at the end of your sentence if there's no speech tag." Character A winks. "If you want to, it's also okay to put a period after the interrupting phrase instead of a comma, if the next line of dialogue is a new sentence."
"There's also an exception for exclamation points!" Character B announces. "You don't need a comma after exclamation points."
Here are some more specified rules:
1. Please use quotation marks (" ") to show when someone is speaking
'This is incorrect punctuation' and -so is this- and <so is this>
2. Please don't use caps to show anger or shouting. Although there's nothing wrong with this, it does come off as childish.
Instead of doing this, you can put an exclamation point at the end of the sentence and strong speech tags like 'roared' or 'bellowed' or 'screeched.' Although caps may portray anger in a more literal sense, it isn't very professional, especially if you use a lot of it.
3. You can put a period or a comma after an interruption sentence, but make sure to stay consistent.
"This is correct," she says, "It is a good way to punctuate."
"This is also correct," she says. "But you need to stay consistent. and not switch around."
"This does not apply," she says, "when the second line of dialogue is a continuation of the first and not its own sentence."
4. Start a new paragraph whenever the speaker changes
"This is very important for readers' comprehension," he says.
"If it's all one big block, how will they now which one of us is talking?" she adds.
"This isn't right," he says. "It's very confusing," she agrees.
5. If you have a very long monologue that's becoming one big block of text, you can break it up with a paragraph break. Here's how:
"I'm going to be talking for a very long time. You can skip this if you want. Really the most important part is at the end of this paragraph. You should probably skip to that. These words are just to take up space. You're still here? Aww, thank you for listening to me, but this is just an example. Normally this paragraph would be a lot longer, but I'm keeping it short so that I don't take up that much room.
"See what I did there? I didn't use a quotation mark at the end of the first paragraph, but began the second paragraph with a quotation. That way, you don't think the person has stopped speaking."
2. Try Cutting Down Your Speech Tags
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I know it’s a groaner; seemingly every writing advice blog says this. Don’t worry, I get it.
If you don’t know what a speech tag is, it’s a verb (usually paired with a name or pronoun) after a line of dialogue to describe how a character is saying that certain line of dialogue.
(Example: “I don’t want to go,” she argued.)
You can find my master list of speech tags here.
Speech tags can be an incredible resource, and can really help kick your dialogue up to the next level, but if they're overused, they can get in the way.
If your dialogue is coming off very stilted and unnatural, then too many speech tags might be the cause.
Look through your work, considering each case on an individual basis, and try eliminating unnecessary speech tags depending on what you think best fits your story.
For example:
“Shut up!” she shouted.
This isn’t necessarily a bad example, not by a long shot. But if you’re having trouble with rhythm in this particular section of your story, maybe consider taking out the ‘she shouted’ part. With the exclamation point, we can assume she shouted the line.
Also, dialogue between two people can have less speech tags, too.
For example:
“Hey, what’s up?” she greeted. “How was school?”
“Fine,” he snapped.
"Doesn't sound fine," she pointed out.
"Whatever," he scoffed.
Now, let's see how this exchange sounds without some of the speech tags making it cluttered.
"Hey, what's up?" she greeted. "How was school?"
"Fine," he snapped.
"Doesn't sound fine."
"Whatever."
As you can see, I kept the two first speech tags to make sure the readers know who is speaking (as well as the tone of the conversation), which is why it's important to not go around hacking away speech tags without considering the context.
But the speech tags I did cut out made the dialogue flow a whole lot easier! Sometimes you have to sacrifice the specificness of your character's delivery of the line in favor of smooth, rhythmic flow of speech.
3. Add Some Choreography or Give Your Characters Props to Spice Things Up
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Choreography doesn't mean a full dance number, but rather actions that can go along with your dialogue. This tip is for writers who may be struggling to make their dialogue lively or exciting.
Actions and choreography can also substitute in for speech tags.
Instead of:
"What the hell were you thinking?!" he roared.
You could try:
"What the hell were you thinking?!" He slammed his fist on the table, his eyes blazing.
In both instances, you can tell the character is angry, only the second one is a more 'show, not tell' approach to things.
The scene can also benefit from a "situation," such as people eating their food or washing the dishes, and the dialogue in turn would then be interrupted by describing people performing actions associated with that "situation," such as taking bites or sipping drinks.
Things you can describe while someone is speaking:
Mouth movement (smiling, scowling, lips twitching)
Eye movement (Glaring, rolling, fluttering, darting around)
Jaw twitching
Fidgeting
Sweating
Shifting weight
Moving around the scene
Breathing (sighting, letting out a heavy breath, panting, breath hitching)
Using props during the activities that are going on (cutting up vegetables, chewing, drinking, etc.)
And more!
Make sure not to overuse these descriptions, though, because like with speech tags, they do have the potential to clutter up your dialogue!
Try to intersperse them whenever you feel like your dialogue needs a bit more action going on, or feels too sparse and fast-paced.
4. Learn From the Professionals
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The best way to get better at writing dialogue isn't going to be a random post on Tumblr like this, it's going to be by consuming other media and embodying the things you see.
Put on your favorite movie or TV show. Study how the characters look when they speak, how they talk, how the scene is set up. Look at how the actors portray the emotions their characters are having, and how the dialogue itself is paired in tandem with scene choreography.
Read your favorite books, too, and see how the authors write their dialogue. You may find that they all have different styles and ways of doing it, and can adopt ideas from each!
5. If You're Getting Stuck, Write the Dialogue First
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If you're having a lot of trouble writing the entire scene, just write down the dialogue. Nothing else. Try to make the conversation as interesting as possible while still being bare bones, and make sure it accomplishes the goals that you want it to.
Do you want to make two characters grow closer?
Do you want to introduce a new plot point?
Foreshadow?
Make sure all that gets done in the bare-bones version so that you don't get too caught up in the embellishment to remember, then add everything else in later!
Hope this helped, and happy writing!
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greenygreenland · 3 years
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Dream A Little Dream Of Me: Norman x Reader
-MANGA SPOILERS! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK! 
-NOTE: YOU’RE BOTH AGED UP SO DON’T START TELLING ME FBI’S GONNA COME TO MY DOOR 😂😂
-THE TIMELINE IS A BIT MESSED UP SO JUST IGNORE IT COMPLETELY AND DON'T ASK ME LOL
-also, is it just me or do thick eyebrows look really cute??? Norman has pretty thick brows compared everyone else and I think they're cute 
WARNINGS: Kissing lol
Summary: You finally see Norman again.
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Life had to be the scariest thing you'd ever faced. It threw the bad, the good, the everything your way until you could barely stand. Until you were left broken and mangled and shattered. Life was scary. It was cruel. Yet somehow, today was different.
You thought it was a dream. After all, how could it be reality when the boy in front of you died a year and some months ago? He had been shipped out, left for dead because it was a part of his stupid escape plan.
So how was it he stood before you? Breathing? Smiling? Living?
The office door closed behind you with a soft click. It bathed the room in silence, as if for a moment, the world decided to give you a second to breathe. A second to take in the wonderous sight before you.
The boy's name stuck in your throat. He had changed, not only in height, but stature and appearance. Norman was older, and he grew up to be more handsome than any runway model could ever be.
"(Y/n)," he gently said. "I'm glad you're well."
That was all it took. One sentence and you tackled him in the tightest hug your trembling arms could muster. "Norman...!" To have his arms around you, to hear the beating of his heart--it was a relief. A miracle sent by the gods. "You’re so stupid!"
No, he was more than stupid. He had to be the dumbest boy alive to think that it was okay to sacrifice himself for the sake of your family. You all were supposed to escape together just like Emma said. No one was supposed to be left behind, yet Norman--bless his heart--acted on his own.
You hugged him as if he would disappear if you let go. "We were all supposed to leave together. But you--I thought you--shipped out--and then--!" You chocked on your words. What more could you say anyway?
You buried your face in the crook of his neck. The muffled sob that ripped through your throat was more than Norman could handle. His knees went weak and you both slowly sunk to the floor in a heap. 
"I'm here." he gently said. "I'm not going anywhere (Y/n)."
Despite the steadiness in Norman's voice, his shoulders hitched, and he sniffled. "I'm here." he repeated. "I-I'm here." It sounded like he were reassuring himself that he wouldn't leave you so soon, as if he were scared too. Not for the way you sobbed and sobbed, but for the ache in his heart that seemed to beat in sync with yours.
Slowly, your sobs turned to quiet sniffles, which then silenced into nothing but tiny hiccups. You basked in Norman's warm embrace. He didn't hold you too tightly, as if he were afraid it would shatter you to pieces. Instead, he pulled you close to his side and leaned on his desk behind.
You rested your head on his chest, taking the time to memorise his scent. Parchment, the woods, and old books. You liked that, it was comforting to know he still smelled the same. On the other hand, his voice wasn’t as smooth or rounded as it once was. It was icy. No one seemed to notice that tiny sharpness that hit the end of each note he spoke. You wondered what could've made his kind heart harden.
Sure, Norman was still the same Norman you remembered, but something about the way he acted seemed off. He was clingy, much more than he ever was. Maybe he just missed you? No, that couldn't be right. Norman acted as if he were running out of time. He held you close and gently, as if these would be the last moments you'd see each other again. As if there wouldn't be a tomorrow.
You slowly pulled away to get a good look at Norman's face. His chin was slightly pointier, his cheeks less chubby and full. His lips twitched upwards into a comforting smile. It didn't quite reach his eyes because he looked so overwhelmingly tired. Your poor boy probably worked day and night to keep the hideout on its feet. It must be hard on him, you thought. Especially since he was revered as a god.
Norman's brows raised. "What's wrong?"
You took his thin hands in your own and gave them a good squeeze. "It's nothing. What about you?"
Ah yes, small talk. The perfect way to avoid any question thrown your way. Norman knew you well, sometimes even more than himself. When you asked simple questions such as these, that meant your mind laid elsewhere in a land he could never reach. Norman took that as a hint to drop the subject.
For now.
He wondered what invisible weight laid on your shoulders. Was it something as heavy as his? Perhaps your weight was worse and it ate away at you. Norman wished he could take that weight away and relieve you of that pain. He'd carry it all if he could, and it didn't matter to him if he'd die trying. This was you he was thinking about. He'd do anything for you.
"I've been okay," Norman vaguely responded. "But I have been busy, so I find it difficult to sleep sometimes.”
Norman liked to be honest, but you knew it was because that helped him figure out what was wrong with you. It was a game of tag. In this case being 'it' meant figuring out each others' worries through a back-and-forth match.
"You haven't been sleeping enough?" Your voice came out rather quiet as you traced invisible circles over the back of his hands. "Is that because you have so much work? Or do you refuse to get help?" Norman sat in a still silence and you sighed.
Of course. 
This was your Norman after all. He always shouldered a burden too big for his shoulders to carry. It was always something so heavy, so terribly hard to balance by himself. If that burden grew any bigger, it would collapse, and that would be his downfall. But you wouldn't let that happen to your Norman. No, no, no. You'd take that burden from him, steal it if you had to, and be his crutch.
"What have you been doing here?" you quickly added. "As 'William Minerva', I mean?"
Norman looked unbearably uncomfortable. That little frown tugging at the edge of his lips was a tell-tale sign. “I’ve been getting a lot done." he carefully said. "In fact, I’ve figured out a way to end this. Once and for all.” 
Norman began by explaining the first phase of his plan. The first phase had long been in motion. It started with the indiscriminate burning of cattle facilities, then the gathering of information, and continued on to pave the way for all the other phases you didn’t care to hear about.
The first few steps weren't too bad, but the final act in Norman's plan made your skin crawl. You half-wished you hadn’t asked him anything to begin with. Maybe it would have spared your appetite. Your grip on his thin hands loosened and loosened until your hands rested on your lap.
Norman wasn't so little anymore. He had grown up just a bit, but not in the way you wished to see. How could he think of something so cold-hearted and cruel? The extermination of all demons in Neverland was an act of genocide. If you re-called correctly, it was also considered a war crime.
Norman was smarter than that. He understood the consequence he'd have to face if that were the path he walked right? He understood that there were still other options right? Maybe you heard him wrong.
No.
You had to have heard him wrong. Norman wasn't ruthless like that. He was a ball of sunshine that made you smile whenever you were together.
"I see..." You tightly smiled. "So that's your plan on freeing everyone?" Norman nodded with a seriousness that took you back to the time he left everything to you and Ray and Emma. 
You weren't mistaken then. Norman truly meant everything he said.
"Yes, that is my plan. It's been taking me a little longer than expected to set it in motion. I've decided to officially start tomorrow."
Tomorrow? 
Your breath hitched. "Don't you think that's a bit hasty? What if...what if something goes wrong?" Norman smiled. It was hollow and wry and everything that he wasn't. "Don't worry. Fortunately, I've always been pretty good at getting what I want." You didn't return the smile, and you didn't want to say why.
Norman was quick to catch on. But of course he would catch on so quickly, this was Norman. Your Norman.
"Do you have a problem with my plan?" he inquired. You shook your head. "No, it's...it's not that." Yes, it was that. Your plan is dangerous even if it is good, you thought. Innocent lives wouldn't be spared, and that would spell an unfair fate for the demons who ate to survive.
You wanted to tell Norman why his plan was wrong, and why he didn't have to be so unforgiving about it. But then what? Why would he listen when you didn't have any better ideas? He seemed to have his mind set anyway, so no half-baked ideas would make a difference. And besides, he was the smartest person you knew. Maybe that was the only way out of the terrible fate all you cattle children faced.
"If you're okay with my plan," Norman said, "then what's bothering you (Y/n)?"
"It's still a lot for me to take in," you admitted with a plastic smile. "I guess I'm just shocked that you're, well, here." Norman smiled, this time with a genuine warmth. "I understand." He leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on your lips. "I'll see you at dinner."
Your cheeks burned. How bold of him. "Y-yeah, I'll see you at dinner." Norman let out a cute little chuckle that made your heart beat a little louder than it was supposed to. You hauled yourself off the floor and made your way to the door. Norman followed.
You flashed him a nervous smile, one that mixed in with your muddled worry and anxiousness. You glanced at his bright eyes. For a moment, they seemed to dim like the setting sun. It reminded you of Mama. When no one looked at her, she didn’t smile. She always looked so sad when she sat by herself, and maybe that was because she was. 
"(Y/n)?"
Your fingers brushed against the doorknob. “Hm?”
"I want nothing more than to protect you and our family. I know you don't fully agree with me," his expression darkened. "But this is the way--the only way we can save everyone without spilling a single drop of blood."
For a moment, you forgot who you were speaking to. This wasn't the same boy you begged to run away with before he got shipped out. This wasn't the same boy who gently tucked a piece of hair behind your ear and sweetly complimented you. This boy--did you truly still know him? Was he still the Norman you grew up with and fell head-over-heels for?
You blinked and that dark look washed itself off his face. He strode up to you and placed a hand on your cheek--just like the day he was supposed to be harvested. Norman’s eyes were soft, softer than any blanket, and his lips pursed into a gentle frown. With his thumb, he wiped a stray tear away. 
Why were you crying?
"Norman..." You couldn’t find the right words. There were none that could explain the suffering you endured in silence. You worried, not only for Norman, but your family and all those other people in the world you didn’t know about. Norman’s plan--oh how stupid it was--had it changed him? Had it forced him to guard his heart to keep a still mind? 
You wondered what he endured while you went on your crazy adventures. At least you had your family, and Yuugo, Lucas, and all your friends. But Norman? He didn’t have anyone but himself. He carried the whole world. Alone. Had he been scared? Worried? Angry that no one came for him? Your heart clenched at the thought. 
"Smile,” Norman said. “It’s okay, I promise. I'm here." He gathered you in his arms and you didn’t have the heart to protest. “How?” you whispered. “How were you able to do all this on your own?” Norman helplessly shrugged. “You could say I have connections, either that or I’m just lucky.”
“What will you do after this is all over?”
Norman went still again, as if he couldn’t answer your question. You heaved in a shaky breath. If Norman wasn’t going to give you a straight answer, then you’d squeeze it out of him. “Did anything else happen to you? I’m sure there’s a catch, isn’t there?” 
It was like someone flipped a switch. One moment, you were a mess of tears, sorrow, and anguish. Now, something menacing laid in your voice. It was almost threatening, as if you were indirectly telling Norman to dare avoid the question. “I don’t want you dying trying to be everything at once,” you said. “Here you’re revered as a god, and if I know you, then it’s plain that you set yourself up like that. Don’t tell me you plan to die on us again.”
He stiffened.
“I know you Norman, don’t forget that. And because I love you, I don’t want to see you destroy yourself. I admit, I don’t know why you act like you’re going to leave again, but I’ll do everything in my power to stop you.” You pulled away and took his hands in yours. A small smile of reassurance made its way up your lips, but Norman didn’t return it. 
No, he couldn’t. And despite all he did, he couldn’t lie straight to your face. Not like this.
Dinner cheered you up. The smiles and laughter that your family shared with Norman made you feel just a little bit better. But how long would it last? And how long would those smiles stay present? All the questions swarming in your mind made you feel sick to your stomach. There was too much to think about, and too little time to answer them.
You forced down the last of your food with a sigh and brought the plate to its respectful place. Everyone was too busy chatting and catching up to notice, but that was fine. It was better that way. 
You made your way to a secluded walkway. It was in one of the calmer areas of the hideout that overlooked the lower levels. It was quiet, save for the distant chatter of Hayato and his friends. He let out a bright laugh that echoed through the vacant walkways. What a shame it would be to hear that disappear.
“So this is where you went.” 
“I told you she’d be here.”
You whipped around in alarm. “Ray, Emma!” 
Ray sharply looked you up and down. He raised a brow and you squirmed under his gaze. He gently bumped shoulders with you. “What’s wrong with you?” 
You absentmindedly shrugged. “Nothing.” 
“That’s what someone who’s not okay would say.” Emma noted. She settled by your side on the railing and flashed a bright smile. “You were so quiet at dinner today.” 
You shook your head. Que another absentminded shrug and plastic smile. “I guess I just wanted to make sure everyone was okay.” 
Ray sighed. “Everyone but you?” He leaned against the railing next to you. “Did you and Norman talk at all?”
You froze. ‘Yes’, was what you wanted to say, but no sound came out. The image of Norman’s matured face, the way his his soft lips hit your own, and his stupidly tall build crossed your mind. 
Emma let out a gasp and slapped a hand over her mouth. “Ah!” she cried. “You’re all red!” You covered your hands with your face, ignoring Ray’s curious stare.
“What did you two talk about in his office anyway? Or should I say, do?” The glint in Ray’s eyes had subtext you didn’t want to recite out loud. “Rayyyyy,” you grumbled, “shut up.” He sent you a teasing grin as Emma frowned in confusion. “I don’t get it.” 
“You’ll understand when you’re older.”
“Yeah, it’s grown up stuff.”
You ignored the warmth spreading to your cheeks and elbowed Ray. “Don’t say it like ‘that’! Now you make it sound like something else!” 
He daringly raised a brow. “Like what?” You ran a hand over your scorching face. It was a miracle you weren’t on fire. “No, no, I’m not answering you!” 
You shared a good laugh and a comfortable silence began to settle, blanketing your shoulders in a lightness that you hadn’t felt in a while. 
Emma softly smiled. “I’m glad we found you.” she admitted. “You looked really sad all by yourself out here.” Ray nodded with a small snort. “Yeah, talk about depressing. But seriously though, did something..?”
Of course these two would see through your façade. Of course they’d understand something was wrong. They were your family, and they didn’t deserve your silence. Your smile shattered. “I don’t know if Norman told you about his plan yet, but it’s...it’s bad. Sure, the demons have done some terrible things to us, but that doesn’t mean all of them are guilty. I want to stop him, but I don’t know how.” 
Emma nodded in agreement. “He told us earlier and I don’t like it either.” she firmly said. “Ray and I talked it over and we have a plan, but it’s risky. Like, really risky. It has to do with the Seven Walls and...” 
You held on to every word Emma and Ray spoke. Risky was your middle name. Well, not actually, but it was something that became your friend. You and your family looked death in the face too many times to count. What would be another?
By the end of it, you were sure this new plan would change Norman’s mind, or at least convince him to give up the whole ‘genocide’ thing. It was decided by Ray that tomorrow, you’d all talk to Norman. Things seemed to be looking up. No, they had to be.
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The halls were empty and you were alone. How was it you got lost in the first place? You made sure to have every twist and turn memorised, so why did you end up in the wrong corridor twice? Ray would surely tease you for getting lost. What an absolute--
You slammed into someone’s chest. A yelp escaped your throat as the person in question lost his footing. He sucked in a sharp breath and went tumbling straight into you. Your back hit the ground as the boy threw out his arms on either side of your head to brace himself. You didn’t need a name to know who you had tumbled into. Light hair, soft eyes, fancy waistcoat and suit. 
“Norman?”
He hovered over you with wide eyes. His lips were inches from yours and he was just so, so close. 
Thump, thump, thump.
Your heartbeat was so gosh dang loud. Could he hear it? Could he see the way your face burned red? 
“Uhm--I--I--uh--” 
Why wasn’t he moving? Why weren’t you moving? Why was it so hard to look him in the eyes? A nervous smile broke out across Norman’s lips. He pushed himself off of you and offered out a hand. You gingerly took it.
“Sorry.” Norman said, helping you to your feet. “I wasn’t looking where I was going. Are you okay?” Your gaze darted from his lips to his dazzling eyes and then to his cheeks dusted in red. Your heart wouldn’t stop slamming against your chest. It kept going, and going until you felt like you were about to burst. 
“Sh-shouldn’t I be asking you that?” you retorted. “I’m not the one who--you know...gets sick all the time.” You weren’t sure why you said it like that, or why that made Norman smile so cutely, but he was smiling. That made your heart flutter. You glanced around the corridor a few times, and somehow, you kept finding focus on his lips. 
What was wrong with you?
Norman caught on fast--like he always did. “Oh I see,” he said with a low chuckle. You swallowed. His voice really did deepen (but you kind of liked it). For a moment, you thought he caught onto your staring, but instead of commenting on it, he intertwined his hand with yours and led you through the winding halls. 
“Don’t tell Ray I got lost.” you muttered. Norman laughed and it was like the sound of happiness itself. “I won’t.” 
The halls all looked the exact same: cream coloured paint, nature-like decorations, and numbered wooden doors. You forgot what number your room was, so that was probably why you got lost. Norman took a sharp left where you recalled should be a right instead. “Wait isn’t it that way?”
“I have something to give you, so we’re going to make a quick detour.” Norman’s cheeks dusted pink and he looked the slightest bit nervous. “What is it you want to show me?” He flashed you a contagious smile. “It’s a surprise.” 
“What kind of surprise?”
“I can’t tell you,” he said with a chuckle, “that’s why it’s called a surprise.”
When you got to his office, you were nervous. Surprises were fun, yes, but in a world where nearly getting eaten by wild demons fell into the category of ‘surprise’, you learned not to like them very much.
Norman closed the door behind you and it softly clicked shut. Okay, you thought. So he was locking the door and making his way over to his desk. Okay, that’s fine. Norman shuffled through a cabinet, that nervous look still on his face. Okay, okay, nothing wrong here. He gently shut the drawer, and as he walked out from behind his desk, you took note of the small little box he fiddled with. 
Okay. Okay. Box. Nervous. Locked door. Did he not want anyone to interrupt whatever he was about to do? 
Norman heaved in a deep breath. A really, really, really deep breath. “(Y/n), I have never met anyone else like you. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met, and you’re beautiful and kind.” He sunk to one knee and opened the little box. “Will you marry me?”
“Yes!”
---------
You jolted awake with a start. 
“Sorry,” Norman said. He scribbled a few words down in his notebook. “Did I wake you?” 
Ah, that’s right. After you talked with Emma and Ray, you all met up with Norman and hung out for a bit. But when had you gotten to his office? Much less, fallen asleep? You rubbed your eyes with a shake of your head. Judging by the tired look on Norman’s face, it was way past bedtime.
The heavy cloak around your shoulders offered a welcoming warmth. It smelled like books. It smelled like parchment and ink. It smelled like Norman and it was comforting. 
He glanced up from his notebook and curiously met your gaze. “What are you smiling at?” The dream popped up in your mind and your smile grew. “I had a good dream.” 
“What was it about?” he inquired without looking up.
“You.” 
The scratch of the pencil froze and he met your gaze. “You had a dream about me?” Your cheeks flushed. “Yeah, and you proposed.” Norman’s back went rigid and he turned as red as an apple. “I-I pro--proposed to you?” he stammered. You snickered, a smug smile tugging on your lips. “It was really sweet. And if you’re wondering, I said yes. I was going to kiss you, but then I woke up.” You stood up with a sigh. “It was disappointing, but that’s okay.” 
You let out a small laugh and neatly folded Norman’s cloak. You left it on the couch and made your way across the room. “That’s a nice notebook.” you said. “What’re you writing about?”
Norman stilled and closed the book with a smile. “It’s nothing special.” He put the pencil down ever so quietly and stood. “Do you seek my affections?” he inquired. You settled on the wall. “Don’t you have work to do?” Norman looked down at you. His fringe brushed across his eyelashes, and he loosened his tie. Slowly.
Your heart steadily drummed against your chest. “What are you doing?” The false innocence in your voice caused Norman to chuckle lowly. He caressed your cheek with a feather-light touch. “Well, you did say you were disappointed right? Why don’t I make it up to you?” 
He rested an arm on the wall with a sly smirk. Your lips connected and it made your stomach flip-flop. The kiss was slow, it was sweet. You found yourself pulling him closer, running your hands through his hair and yanking him over. "Norman?" He met your gaze with half-lidded eyes. "Yes (N/n)?"
"Where did you learn how to do that?"
He smirked and it was hot. The fact that he kept his arm braced against the wall didn’t help either. "Why?" he lowly inquired. "Do you like it?" Your breath caught in your throat and you found yourself wanting more. 
Knock, knock!
Norman didn't look too happy about that. He ran a hand over your cheek and gently tucked a lock of hair behind your ear, that half-lidded look of his melting into warmth and love. He made his way to the door, tightening his tie and smoothing out his hair with a quick touch.
"Hello--?" Norman fell short mid-sentence. As soon as your gaze locked with the person on the other side, you understood why. Ray stood in the threshold, just as red-faced as you and Norman, with a sheepish look on his face. “I’ll come back later.” he muttered. 
Oh great. Had he been eavesdropping? You glanced at Norman and he glanced at you, then Ray, and back to you. Ray sucked his teeth and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Don’t have too much fun.” he said, a smirk twitching onto his lips.
You made your way to the threshold with a groan. “Rayyyy!” 
“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry.” he coolly replied. “Do whatever, I didn’t see anything.”
PART 2 <--- READ PART 2
NOTE: I spent a WHOLE WEEK writing this. Please reblog so I know you guys like it :)
TIP JAR
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onebizarrekai · 3 years
Text
v3′s art is comically terrible for a professionally distributed game in a series: a compilation
in this not-essay I will list all of the mistakes and problems I have spotted in v3′s art. don’t worry, it’s entirely for fun and I’m doing this on a whim, so please feel free to not take this seriously but also it’s hilarious and embarrassing how ridiculous this is like what happened did they speedrun the whole production or what
see, there are some things you can take as meta like “they made it bad on purpose to allude to the downfall of tv shows that have been on air for much too long” but I have a very strong feeling this is not the case due to the nature of some of these errors
disclaimer, the more I study this art, the more I fear that the artists were underpaid and underslept, so if this is in fact the case, I am so sorry to all of them but also I’m going to make fun of the art anyway
anyway let’s get started!
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if you study this image for longer than 5 seconds, you will see that kaede is the only one fully shaded and keebo is literally just his normal sprite pasted into the image. every other character is just an ordinary ref, hence most of them facing the exact same direction with neutral expressions on their faces. it looks like a bad edit, and is probably one of the worst pieces of art in the game. it kind of gets better from here on, but my roasting will not.
with that out of the way, here’s the problem that officially bothers me the most and clarifies my viewpoint of “this is not meta and an actual lack of company communication”
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this freaking cg, which seems normal at a glance, but some wiseass was like “oh, kaede is a girl, so obviously she’s going to be shorter than the Male Protagonist™” ah, that’s funny. because if you look at the character bios, kaede is, in fact, one inch taller than shuichi and not like 6 inches shorter as she is shown here.
also shuichi’s shoulder is disproportionate and horrendous and he looks vaguely like a jojo character, but I wasn’t even thinking about that until right now.
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thanks guys, 50% of the fandom who has never bothered to check these bios thinks that kaede is like 5′3 (did the developers really put so little thought into her to the point where drawing her correctly in the game didn’t even matter??)
also I would like to point out that, even though this isn’t related to the art itself, yes, a character kaede’s size being only 117 lbs is unfeasible, but this applies to literally every character in danganronpa ever and it’s not new news that it’s unrealistic
update: someone in the tags informed me that in versions of the game that use centimeters, like the japanese version, kaede is actually shorter than shuichi, which just adds another thing to the list of weird decisions the localization team made for no reason. that said, after confirming this, kaede is 167 cm in the original, while shuichi is 171 cm, which are approximately 5′6 and 5′7 respectively, but one inch is still nowhere near as drastic as it is depicted above. (in spite of this, I would rather depict kaede as slightly taller, so I’m probably going to keep doing that.)
the journey continues!
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bro if you want kaede to have shoulder length hair then stick to it to begin with
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you can pretend this is at an angle all you want but they definitely committed the shorter kaede sin a second time
wait a goddamn second.
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DO YOU SEE THIS
no………… it wasn’t kaede who shrank. it was shuichi who got taller
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speaking of which, can we talk about how shady the perspective is in this elevator pic? look at shuichi and kokichi in comparison to kaede. kokichi, who is canonically 7 inches (edit: or 5, if you’re loyal to the original) shorter than kaede, looks taller than kaede. he’s growing too. what steroids are these gays taking
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running into the room, electric boogaloo: I don’t think tsumugi is supposed to be the same height as kokichi
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gonta… gonta you’re lookin a bit like a jojo character there
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I love how kaito’s head looks kind of like it was pasted onto his body. why is he the same size as shuichi? shouldn’t he be high school bully size or something? his torso is teensy
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ah yes, white angie.
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I love this cg but why is shuichi’s right hand so much bigger than his left hand
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I also love how this cg looks like they literally took pictures of trees and pasted them into the background, especially on the left. the shadows are so weird, especially closer to the ceiling, it’s difficult for me to believe they didn’t do exactly that.
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return of Enlarged shuichi
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puberty update: kokichi is now taller than shuichi in spite of shuichi never missing leg day. what crimes will he commit
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I have to mention it, guys. this has to be one of the worst danganronpa cgs. kokichi’s facial proportions look atrocious. look at the way his face sticks out like his jaw is in the wrong place. his scarf is a pasted texture. that’s it. this moment was so iconic but the cg just looks so… so… off. like something is terribly wrong, but you can’t put your finger on it.
you know what? let’s get into that ‘pasted texture’ thing.
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let’s imagine you’re an artist working on a professional game. you’re assigned to draw cgs of kokichi ouma, who has a checkered scarf from hell. sure, it will be terrible to draw, but you only have to draw it once at a time! plus, perspective is pretty important, right? can you be bothered? nah, actually. let’s just copy paste a checkered pattern into the cg, because I’m sure nobody will notice. it’ll blend right in with the other cgs that someone actually put effort into drawing his scarf in, right?
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no. the answer is no and I very much noticed. this genuinely looks terrible and I would understand taking a shortcut like that in fanart or even an indie game but this is a full price pc and console distributed game
(an addition: look at kokichi’s TINY HANDS in that last one)
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meanwhile, they straight up forgot to color in kokichi’s scarf in this cg.
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dude. I forgot about whatever the hell this cg was. anyway look at keebo please just look at him
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lovin kaito’s baby arms
real talk, maybe you could argue that he’s missing muscle because he’s deathly sick, but most of his cgs don’t line up with this, and his arms just look disproportionate to his torso size (granted this is a consistent problem across all danganronpa games and a lot of characters have this weird problem, like hajime, but also kaito is bigger than hajime so I kind of have higher expectations of him) maybe it’s his stupid goatee and the way he reminds me of yasuhiro?? it creates this illusion that he’s older than he is and so I keep expecting him to look more like an adult
oh, also rantaro is missing some of his accessories in that video he made–you know the one–but I don’t wanna go back and screenshot it
also you may have noticed that I’m skipping all of the monokub cgs because I literally do not care about them and I’m not even bothering to check and see if they have artistic mistakes in them
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JIMMY NEUTRON???
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hey um uh kaito you seem to be missing your neck
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hey guys do you like my pregame fanart
so, that done, the sprites are also pretty terrible at times. they’re not as interesting to go through, however, and downloading the full sprite sets for every character and studying every single one of them will drive me insane, so I’ll just sum some of the ones I noticed up. I made things for kaede and shuichi before deciding I wasn’t going to get into it, so here are these.
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that said, other mistakes include kokichi missing his purple highlights in all of the sprites encompassing a specific pose, stray pixels all over the place on everyone, and everyone also has heavily inconsistent shading, but literally all I think about is how pregame shuichi is unshaded and two of kaede’s pregame sprites have glaring outfit change mistakes in them
anyway, thank you for taking the time to read my ridiculous ramble. in all seriousness, there’s this looming presence of some lack of communication in the development team, like with all the art and design inconsistencies, pieces and sprites that look rushed, stray pixels, and missing basic proportional stuff. these are the kinds of things that you supposedly have to pretty much have in the bag in order to get jobs in professional businesses, so it’s really weird to me that this game suffers from so many of these problems. it’s like they tried to make the art so much more crisp than the other games, but it fell on its face as they realized it was going to take longer to draw everything and they started to rush. it’s weird, because the coloring itself looks normal–it’s just sloppily drawn, and the proportions are a mess once put into the context of perspective. many of the cgs look like they were drawn by different people, and I’m still not over the fact that half of kokichi’s cgs have his scarf pasted in as a texture.
the moral of the story is that if you’re selling a game at full price that also happens to be in a series that has had 3 very good games in it already the stakes should probably be higher than this. v3 has been out for more than 3 years and it’s still $40 (did it cost more than that before? I sure hope not), and the overarching quality of the game is just not as high as the other games. I’m not saying that the other games don’t have any problems with their art at all, they’re just not as glaringly obvious and every artistic choice in those games feels intentional.
regardless, I had a blast roasting the art at 2am, so maybe you got a kick out of all this chaos.
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simtanico · 3 years
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Hi! I don't know if this is an annoying/difficult question, sorry if it is, but do you have any advice at all for modelling sims based off real people? Your sims are SO crazy good. When I try to make them they end up looking... eh... Vaguely like the person? But there's a huge gap between that and some kind of 'spark' some simmers seem to manage to capture.
Hello! Definitely not annoying. Difficult, as in how difficult it is to answer? Maybe. I'm gonna go off on a couple of tangents. But I'm gonna try my best to explain the process. Which isn't really much of one sorry.
There's a handful of tutorials and tips out there regarding reference photos and like... proportions and all that so I won't cover that.
I use that as a general guide of course, but mostly I just save some photos of the person at various angles and focus on one feature or two at a time. Literally going back and forth between reference photo and my game. I think if you try to get everything at the same time, it really makes it easy to get frustrated with whatever your sim looks like at the moment. Making sims in general is a combination of a LOT of things depending on your style.
I can point out ALL the flaws with my sims based on real people. In my experience, it’s about getting the defining features of a person close enough to the real thing so that it resembles them. I don't think you need a complete copy to get the point across, however i do think some people and features are harder to emulate than others. I've been working on some sims for YEARS, and they still don't work out lol
and take a look at this progression on my sim based on Z4ne H0ltz starting back in 2015!
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that first screenshot:
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Personally, I get a little lost if I work on a sim too much all at once. I find some time away makes me less tired and frustrated. Just pace yourself :)
Also if you need any help, shoot me a message here or on discord. I promise I don't judge or anything.. it's sims who cares lol
TO START...
I suggest starting with the head and its shape. Starting off with a game-generated sim, the first slider I get to is head width. It's usually too dang wide for my tastes. And then adjusting the general position of the the features. You can always change things later, so you don't have to know exactly what you're going to do, but as I've mentioned before, sculpting sims up in CAS is just practice with sliders! Also in the long run, you may want to use Pu+Chi House's Smooth Face Normals slider! I attempt to explain and show what it does here. I've uploaded the slider here: https://simfileshare.net/download/984204/
This is gonna be a doozy sorry in advance if the read more doesn't work
SLIDERS SLIDERS SLIDERS
Big sliders like Pu+Chi House’s face shape sliders dramatically change the face shape, and it could save you a lot of time! I highly suggest using these to get rid of the weird large jaw sims can get.
Play with different sliders and how they interact with one another! Example: jaw width and Cheek Fullness affect the same area. if you need a wide jaw and don’t want cheek distortion, you can use cheek fullness, lower the jaw width slider and then edit the cheekbones from there
 Knowing what sliders move what and how it can work to your advantage is key! I cover this in my reply post about noses.
For visual reference:
I start out with my nose but I want the nostrils to sit further on the outside
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so i go in and use the nose width slider and raise it to widen the lower nose:
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Then lower the nostril scale slider
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Comparison:
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as you can see, i kind of achieved what I wanted, but also widened the nose tip too! Welp, that takes another slider I have, Tip Width. And I'll adjust that accordingly! It's really just a matter of what you're going for and what you're going to have to compensate for as a result!
That said, our community has made some awesome sliders that open up so many possibilities and even eliminate the need to do that multi-slider tango. I wouldn't even know where to begin (wish I wanted to make videos because I could talk for an hour about sliders)
For example @pitheinfinite made sliders that can make sims look better and more realistic, I'm jealous at what they've achieved!
They have their Inner Corner to Nose slider that moves an area of the sim's face hat make eyebags and the shadows and lines appear farther out from the inner eye. It saves you from having to use cheek sliders to mimic the effect and thus ruining the face shape you have going
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It's truly an INDISPENSABLE slider. One of many!
Since I make sliders, I usually just make some to specifically fix whatever issue I'm having. Granted they're made with general function in mind, which makes my cheater-y way of making things happen more useful in the future. I have about 50 experimental unfinished sliders in my game and can tell you that all my current sims use them for some reason or other. So I'm not working with nothing, I guess?
EYE SPY 👁
The best way to really get nice accurate looking sims is the eyes.
Pay attention to the slant of the eye, the shape and position of the upper and lower eyelids. you can use the game’s Eyelid Height slider, and AWT’s Eyelid width and height sliders (and many more)
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and especially where the iris (green) sits relative to the eyelid. getting that shape and eyeball positioned correctly really makes a HUGE difference
I do suggest Bloom’s Eye slider (left and right) that rotate the eyes left and right. That along with their Lazy eye sliders can give your sims a less symmetric face and position the eyes to be FAR more accurate and realistic than the default.
I also recommend their vertical sliders (Eye lift or drop) to help with eye positioning.
I can't stress the importance of the right contacts or eyes for your sims. Of course it all depends on how you make your sims's eyes and all that. Take the last sim i posted about. It took forever and a half to find the right contacts that didn't need severe or intense editing to capture the same vibe the person he's based on. The problem is pretty persistent for me, and I am just speaking for myself when I say this is necessary. Iris size, shading, recolorability, detail, catch lights, and pupil position are things to consider for your play style and preferences.
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In addition to seeing what eyes will do the trick, I do edit the catch lights in the screenshots to give the eyes a different emotion or look. (I use defaults that get rid of the game-generated catch lights, and supernatural eye glow.) It's nice when that's all it is and I don't have to go in and photoshop things in and out to make them look human lmao
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Perfect, schmerfect
And just know that as long as you have the same vibe or look going on it doesn't need to be perfect! Things will evolve over time, and you can change and perfect things as you go along, but close is better than trying to achieve an exact replica. We are working with the limitations of sliders and the optimized meshes they work on! So yeah there might be jagged bits or the profile might not exactly match and some things might not be accurate, but that's okay! Considering what sims look like at their default, you should be proud! I use the same mf eyebrows on all my sims basically and I tell myself they're just placeholders (yeah, right), but I manage to make them work with what I have!
Sliders, Makeup, and Skins, oh my!
a good base skin is critical, but not the end of the world if you pick the wrong one. They determine kind of definition and types of features highlighted on a sim 100000% and you might lose a feature you like or dislike when you change them! Feel free to switch up between skins you have to find the best fit.
Makeup can be a game-changer though!!! Any details you can add and help make your sim look the most like the person you're basing them off can go MILES.
In some cases, I've actually gotten really interesting results trying to get my sculpt as close as possible to real life references so the makeup makes a difference but don't define the features by themselves. Still, though, I utilize makeup up a LOT. [remember that if you use Nraas, you can layer makeup. Right-clicking makeup will also remove it if it's applied :)]
Here's the last sim i posted about when removing makeup:
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no nosemasks really replicates the face-claim's nose (too shiny at the lower part) but it'll do 🤷‍♀️
Freckles, eyebags, highlighters, face shadows, pores, nosemasks, etc are all great!!
The way you move your sliders WILL effect how these look, so don't rely on makeup that adds super-specific detail or goes over an area you know is a jumbled mess because of sliders!
I do have a mess of recommendations and wcifs for skins and makeup. replies tag | wcif tag
[also I love compiling wcif cc lists for my sims it's great]
Finally, I appreciate your comment about my sims, mainly because I know they're not ever really exact copies or as close as I want to be to their real life counterparts, so thanks!! I've seen fellow simmers get really good results without messing as much as I do and I love when people can make really good maxis match likenesses because it's just so damn cool! It's truly a talent. I'm not one of those lucky few, but I like to try my way at it anyway. After what feels like some good progress I'll post a pic here. Even after doing this forever I don't feel like I'm an expert or can get good results in a shorter amount of time, but it's just fun to see the progression (or regression) of how my sims look.
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thiswasinevitableid · 3 years
Note
Indruck 22 for the meet uglies?
Here you go! I went SFW on this one
you’re on a date with this awful, awful person who keeps getting under my skin because my friend and I have been eavesdropping all night and your date says something that makes me snap … I thought it was a first date, not a three year relationship
“...such a waste of money. I mean, why spend all that to get something tacky on your skin?”
Indrid rolls his eyes at Barclay from across the counter of the Amnesty Lodge coffee shop, the cooks arms and hands sporting a plethora of tattoos rivaled only by Indrid’s collection.
“I dunno, l like the one I got.” The other man--who seems to be on the worst first date of his life--shrugs.
“You honestly think you and Juno couldn’t have spent that money on something else in college?”
“I mean maybe but, uh, we were earnin our own cash, figured we got to decide what to spend it on.”
“Hmmmm” the first guy sips his coffee, “sounds like a typical excuse for someone who doesn’t want to admit a mistake.”
“C’mon, that ain’t fair-”
“Ugh, stop saying ain’t! I can’t take someone who talks like that to meet my family.” Before the target of his disdain can respond, he snaps his fingers, “hey, buddy, can I get a refill or what?”
“The station for black coffee refills is right there, sir.” Barclay indicates the very obvious corner of dispensers, his voice the kind of calm that Indrid knows means he’s memorizing this guys face to warn other staff about.
They earn a brief reprieve while The Asshole leaves the table. When he returns, he’s shaking his head.
“God, have you looked at the photos they’ve got up? Who the fuck wants to look at bones?”
Indrid quickly glances at his friend to be sure he’s permitted to start a fight. Barclay nods.
“Quite a lot of people.” Indrid spins on his stool. “I’ve sold a number of them just from the display here. So perhaps you could keep your rude, unclultured, close-minded, obnoxious mouth shut.”
The man balks, looks to his companion for help. He offers none, mouth trying to form words and only coming out with halves of ones (except for the “fucks” which are plentiful).
“Oh my fucking god, you agree with him! That’s it, I’m out.” The Asshole pushes back from the table and storms out. The remaining man leaps up, panicked.
“Fuck.”
“It’s okay man, shitty first dates happen to all of us.” Barclay offers from beside the bakery case.
“I mean yeah, they do, but that wasn’t one of ‘em. That was my boyfriend of three fuckin years.” He dashes out of the shop, sparing a final glare at Indrid as he does.
Indrid trades a sheepish look with his friend, “Oops.”
-------------------------------------------------
“I’m glad you finally get to meet Duck!” Aubrey grins over her shoulder as she and Indrid wind down the hall at the office Kepler magazine.
Founded by childhood friends, Kepler worked a combination of print and video content that saw its subscribers and revenue climb while other publications struggled to stay afloat. Aubrey was head of the video team, though she contributed content to the magazine in the form of interviews about environmental activists of color and sustainable gift guides.
Kepler has three sections: travel, science, and environmental writing. Indrid now has the honor of being one of their primary photographers. He started two weeks ago and is thoroughly enjoying his work and the company of the other staff. The only person he’s yet to meet is Duck Newton, one of the founders and main reporters, as he was off on an assignment.
Aubrey knocks, gets a friendly “come in” and ushers Indrid into the office.
Looking at him from behind the desk is The Asshole’s Boyfriend, whose face goes from open and friendly to confused, then to perturbed.
“You okay?”
“I, uh, fuck, n-ye.” Duck sighs, “remember how I told you Alex and I split after a shitty date in a coffee shop?” He points at Indrid, “this was the fella who, uh, expedited the process.”
“Ohhhh.” Aubrey frowns, then shrugs with a smile, “whelp, he’s our new photographer. We’ll see you around.” She hurries them outside once more, shutting the doors. As they head back the way they came, she whispers, “his ex was a huge fucking dick, so if word gets out everyone is gonna think you’re a fucking hero.”
“He didn’t seem to see it that way.”
“It was only a few weeks ago, so it’s still pretty fresh. He’ll heal from it okay, Duck’s a tough cookie. And I’m sure you guys’ll get along eventually.”
---------------------------------------
“Juno, please, you gotta come with me.”
“I would bud, except it’s April and I’s fifth wedding anniversary that weekend. And no, we already have plans, so we can’t just take over this assignment as part of the celebration.”
“Fuck” Duck leans back in his chair.
“...You really asked everyone?”
“Ye-no, fuck-”
“Duck.”
“I ain’t asked Indrid yet.”
“There it is.” Juno smirks, “you gotta ask; besides, we were gonna have him do illustrations for the feature, but photos would be even better. And we both know it ain’t his fault y’all broke up.”
Duck nods, promises to ask Indrid after lunch. He finds the photographer flipping through his files from his shoot for next issues cover. His silver hair is pulled back, red glasses sitting on the desk beside him so he can gauge color correctly.
Duck kind of wants to pull the silver locks just to see what happens. It’s not his fault Indrid looks like his Sophomore roommate who he had a raging crush on, only with more tattoos and a much more captivating face. Pity he helped fuck up Duck’s last chance at a stable relationship.
“Hey, Indrid, you got a minute?”
The photographer cocks his head.
“I, uh, so we got a feature on this whole chunk of places touting themselves as ‘sustainable romantic getaways. I booked a bunch of places, but a lot of ‘em will turn me away if I turn up solo. And the person I was supposed to go with ain’t an option any more. Neither is anyone else. You get my drift?”
Indrid pinches the bridge of his nose, “you realize this is a terrible idea, yes?”
“Hey, we been workin together just fine. Ain’t we? Wait, fuck, I ain’t been treatin you bad even when I’m tryin to be professional, am I?”
“No, you’ve been perfectly polite. But there’s a world of difference between being cordial in an office and going on what’s functionally a vacation together.”
Duck crosses his arms, “I ain’t about to lose eight hundred bucks in deposits.”
Indrid blinks, then chuckles, “Fair. What day do we leave?”
-------------------------------------------------
The temperature rises and the air dries as they speed south on Five. Indrid fiddles with games on his phone as cover for the list of “will this be a disaster or not” he’s mentally constructing. So far the signs are positive; Duck isn’t very chatty, but neither is Indrid. They have similar tastes in music, which makes much more sense when Duck explains he was a burn-out in high school. He also isn’t agitated by Indrid stimming, which makes it easier for the photographer to relax and enjoy the drive.
But they haven’t spoken about the elephant in the car, and Indrid resolves not to be the first to do so. No point in poking the sore spot if he doesn’t have to.
They stop at a Sinclair for gas. Duck reaches into his glovebox for something as Indrid climbs out, comes away with a photo instead. It’s one of those ones from a photobooth, faded but unmistakably him and his ex. His face falls for a second and Indrid scurries into the Dairy Queen attached to the convenience store.
As he waits in line, he turns one fact over in his mind like a picture he’s trying to make sense of; it would be easier to let their awkward first meeting go if he did not genuinely like the other man. He’s charming, in a quiet way, and very friendly. He’s built like the guys Indrid always got useless crushes on in college, usually third tier frat boys or--if he was lucky--a bear a few years older than him who liked his men on the odd side.
He doesn’t like seeing Duck sad. The sadness isn’t something he can fix. The stalemate between these two facts annoy the living hell out of him.
He’s next in line, glances up to confirm what he wants, and gets an idea. Last week, he overheard Duck talking with Aubrey about roadtrip snacks of their youth.
“One chocolate dipped cone, on me.” He holds the treat out to the other man.
“Oh. Uh, thanks. These are my favorite from when I was a kid.” Duck’s smile returns.
“I remembered. Or, ah, that is, I remembered you saying that.”
The smile changes, “you didn’t need to.”
“I wanted to. Shall we?”
“Yep. Uh, you gonna be able to drive and eat that at the same time?”
“Do not doubt my ability to consume ice cream under difficult circumstances, Duck Newton.”
They make it to their first stop unscathed. It’s what Duck refers to as, “eco-bespoke,” a fancy spa and hotel built in a former school, the kind that was made in an era of beautiful instead of grim educational architecture.
“Goats!” Indrid claps his hands, delighted, at the two animals stabled near the main building. One of it’s supposed sustainable elements is the small farm that helps feed the on-site restaurant. Duck smirks and Indrid suddenly feels the gulf in their upbringings, “Ah, I suppose they’re not exciting to someone who grew up in a rural town.”
“Nah, but they’re damn cute.” Duck checks the tag on their room keys, “okay, we’re in the green building, room 2B.”
Indrid snaps some photos as they cross the grounds, more to remind himself of things he wants to come back to later than anything else. He’s busy studying a strange mark on the wall by their door when Duck says, “I can sleep on the floor.”
“Why--oh” he stares at the single bed, “in retrospect, we should have seen this coming.”
“Yeah.” Duck drops his bag near the closet, slides the door to look for spare linens. Indrid summons his courage, finds it lacking, and so bolsters it with nonchalance.
“It’s a king, we could easily share.”
“You’d, uh, you’d be okay with that?”
“It is only narrow definitions of masculinity that mean something like sharing a bed is inherently sexual.”
He’s not entirely sure that made sense, but Duck nods, “You want the right side or left?”
“Right, please.”
“Great. And, uh, Indrid? Thanks for rollin with all this. I, uh, I know it’s fuckin weird but this is a huge feature for the magazine and we woulda been fucked if we had to pull it.”
Indrid gingerly sits on his side of the bed, “You’re welcome. And I don;t know about you, but” he smiles, catches Duck watching him intently in the mirror, “I’m enjoying myself so far.”
------------------------------------------------------
“Why has an activity that renders one incapable of using their thighs been deemed ‘romantic?” Indrid mumbles, face-down on the bed to offer his burning legs relief.
“Fuck if I know.” Duck groans as he sits next to him, “Kinda fun, but if I was doin this to get you in bed, I’d be fucked.”
“I am in bed” Indrid teases.
“And if I tried to put the moves of you you’d toss me outta it. Assumin I could even move myself that close.” Duck nudges him, then clears his throat, “uh, I mean, not like we’d be doin that-”
“Nono, point taken.” Indrid rolls over. The horseback ride was one of the “couples exclusives;” a trot out to a beautiful oasis for a gourmet picnic. Indrid got some excellent shots, including one of Duck with honeycomb dripping down his chin, which he will not be offering up to editors but may keep for himself. For it’s beautiful composition, of course.
Mercifully, their next stop is the pool. Indrid settles himself in the hot tub while Duck types some notes on his phone. Then his friend doffs his bathrobe and Indrid may as well be in a dream. In the steaming, echoing paradise of multi-colored tile and ecstatic shouts, Duck stands like one of the angelic fountains at its heart has come to life.
“You okay there, ‘Drid?”
“Yes.” He hopes his lack of glasses means Duck will mistake his blatant staring for trying to get his vision in focus.
“Then scoot your cu--uh, your butt over so I can sit down.”
Indrid gladly moves aside, finds he’s so comfortable with Duck pressed against him that he begins nodding off in the warm lull of the water. When the other man nudges him, saying it’s time to go, he finds a strong arm draped over his shoulder and Duck’s smile the most relaxed it’s been all trip.
Their last task at this location is to locate the speakeasy somewhere on the premises and order the “lovers delight” (only available to couples). To do so, they follow clues purple light bulbs, doors that lead to tiny, art-filled rooms, secret staircases, and a false supply closet to a dark wooded, dimly lit, incredibly pleasant bar looking out over the property. The drink turns out to be a massive goblet (more a bowl that someone stuck on a stem) of ginger syrup, prickly pear juice, and silver tequila.
It also turns out to be incredibly strong. So much so that when they get back to the room, Indrid loses his balance getting his shoes off, which makes Duck laugh, which results in both of them flopping onto the bed.
“S’fun. You’re, you’re real good at the clues. Should, should go to an escape room when we get home.”
“Wasn’t, hic, that hard. They, they want, hic, want you to find it.”
“Take the compliment, goofus” Duck pushes his shoulder.
“You’re, hic, the goofus.”
“Nuh uh.” Duck sticks his tongue out. Indrid does the same, then licks his cheek just to hear him laugh.
Duck rolls onto his back, giggles dying down to a contemplative sigh, “He woulda hated this.”
“Your ex?” Indrid crawls to stay close to him.
“Yeah. Everythin I like, or, or thought was fun, he thought it was a waste of time or just plain worthless. He, he wasn’t like that at the start. Dunno what changed. Probably me. Probably got borin. Got worse.”
Indrid is not so drunk that he believes he can fix this. But he’s just drunk enough to stroke Duck’s cheek and murmur, “No. Nono, hic, you’re th’best.”
He doesn’t remember falling asleep after that, but he must have, because his phone is beeping at them to get up and face the day. They do so with to-go coffees in one hand and their bags in the other, neither speaking of the night before until Indrid has turned the car into deeper desert.
“Sorry for gettin on a thing about Alex last night.”
“It was a three year relationship; goodness knows you’re allowed to have feelings about it.”
“Even relief?”
Indrid glances at him, “Of course.”
His friend leans back in his seat, sipping from his travel mug, “That’s half the reason I been in such a funk. I feel like I oughta be sad, then I feel guilty for the fact I’m relieved instead. But if I really was that unhappy in it, why did I hang around so long? Maybe that was the best I deserved, y’know?”
“I know the feeling, yes, but I can’t say I agree with your statement. You deserve someone who sees you for who you are and adores it, not someone who loved what you once were and became bitter when you grew.”
Duck looks at the console between them, at Indrid’s chipped black nails and the hand he hopes isn’t shaking. He squeezes it a moment longer than necessary, “Thanks, ‘Drid. It’s nice to hear that from someone who’s still gettin to know me. Juno and them, they’re my friends, I know they’re in my corner but, uh, sometimes I worry that anyone new is gonna find me dull or somethin like that.”
“I’m sure some people would, just as some take one look at me and decide I’m a weirdo who they don’t want to deal with. But I can say with certainty that I don’t find you that way.”
Duck grins all the way to their destination. It’s a quirky trailer park full of amenities and built mostly from salvaged materials, doing it’s best to run off the grid. It also gives each trailer a theme, and Indrid flaps his hands when he sees they’ve been booked in the “The Cramps” themed one.
“Hell yeah.” Duck mirrors his excitement as they open the door. Their haven from the desert sun is full of kitschy horror artifacts and a much smaller bed than the previous spot. There’s no debate this time; Indrid settles on the right, Duck on the left, and they settle in for a nap before venturing out to work.
They take in the bar, the arcade, the mini-golf course, and the “couples supply room” (“damn, didn’t know they made eggnog scented massage oil” “ooh, I like how that smells”), but Duck turns out to be most excited to rent a stargazing kit and guide Indrid out into the dark desert. They’re on their backs, shoulder to shoulder and munching chocolate covered fruit, when he discovers the source of his glee.
“There!” Duck points to a crackling streak of silver.
“A meteor” Indrid wiggles happily as a second one speeds through his view.
“It’s the Perseids, and this is a damn good place to watch ‘em. Look, there’s another one.” He’s breathless each time and Indrid’s heart threatens to beat hard enough to crack the earth at the sound.
“Did you ever wish on stars when you were little?”
“Yep. Never asked for much worth notin, though I’m pretty sure I wished once to just wake up and be a boy. Or, uh, guess for everyone to see me as one. What about you?”
“I wished...I wished for someone to do things like this with, some who’d kiss me and tell me that they didn’t need to wish because what they wanted was right here.. I love the world, I want to see so much of it, that’s half the reason I chose my profession.. But when I was young I thought I’d be with someone when I did. I thought it was easy to find that kind of love. To be worthy of it.”
“Hey now” Duck rolls onto his side. He’s backlit by the moon, meteors zipping behind him as if they, just like Indrid, are pulled to him, “what happened to all the stuff you said in the car about deservin someone who adores you?”
“It’s easy to apply such things to you, harder to believe them about myself.”
“How come?”
“Because you are everything a sensible person could want in a man and I am not.”
“That’s where you’re wrong” He sets a hand next to Indrid’s shoulder, “Can think of at least one sensible fella who wants to get to know you a whole hell of a lot.”
“He’ll get to know me plenty, we’re co-workers.”
“There are different kinds of gettin to know someone.” Duck dips down, brushes their noses together, “for instance, the last few days I’ve gotten to know you’re a damn good travel companion and that Ned was smart to hire you. But I’ve also gotten to know there’s some things about you I really wanna know.”
“Such as?” Indrid’s fingers find Duck’s sides.
“Such as whether you wanna go on a date with me when we get back. No assignment, just the two of us gettin some time together.”
“I want nothing more.” He leans up to kiss him, feels him shudder happily when their lips meet. Indrid wonders how long it’s been since someone kissed Duck like they meant it, and resolves to make up any deficits with an enthusiasm that would put horny eighteen year olds to shame.
Indrid nips Ducks ear, “you know, were it not for the threat of mosquitos and scorpions, I’d suggest we make good use of the non-food items in that basket.”
Ducks grin lights Indrid up like a comet, “Then howsabout we go test just how conducive our trailer is to romance?”
Indrid kisses him adoringly, “Lead on, sweetheart; I’ll follow you anywhere.”
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otomes-world · 2 years
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You can def write general neutral for scenarios and imagines, (not you tenshi i mean you as in general hehe) its been done before and there are a lot of writers who do it (and very well may i add) but ofc the reader in that story and scenario wont fit everyones personalities and its more difficult. When it comes to gender neutral works however, the gender of the reader isnt really necessary for the plot/story since it wouldnt (and shouldnt) affect how the characters interact with the reader.. but if the writer chooses to write for gendered readers its fine! Dont bully ppl! unless youre talking about a specific trait of that gender (like for example menstruation for the fem readers) then it might be necessary to the story. But otherwise be nice and respectful when asking writers about it. also if i remember correctly the obey me brothers have a manga/or something idk im not in that fandom lol where a MC is included and is completely neutral. Sorry for the long rant tenshi
~sincerely, a rook hunt simp
I have nothing to add, except one thing. As I said before if work in second person pov it doesn't matter, as writer only use pronounce you/your. However, my language isn't adapted to gn speak and if i want to write a story I should chose gender of protagonist. It doesn't remain after translating in english, but sometimes i may overlook some things that seems normal to me but in english it's a typos. Examples I gave in previous post. I write my works with female reader, because I'm more comfortable with it and I think I can do as did before, as it's doesn't matter to work I post there. I don't tag such fic with specific gender as I think it can be called gn
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bnhabadass · 4 years
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Pairing: Dabi x reader Rating: Explicit Warnings: Rough sex, name calling, alcohol, angst Word Count: 4185 Prompt: Fuck against a door A/N: A big thank you to @honeytama​ for giving this piece a quick read through before posting.
Tags: @bakugoukatsukiswife​
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When You Joined the League of Villains everyone warned you about the same thing. Stay away from Dabi. It was simple enough advice which you took to heart at first, trying your hardest to leave the room when he would come in and only meeting him with a small smile and wave everytime he would greet you.
But you began to wonder why people warned you to stay away. Yes they gave their reasons, but everyone told you different things.
“He’s practically useless,” Shigaraki told you. “He never does his job correctly. He usually ends up incinerating people and just leaves their bodies lying around for the police to find. It’s like he’s leaving a trail right to the hideout.”
“He’s hot, don’t get me wrong,” Toga said, “but he’ll just break your heart and move on to his next victim.” It was clear as day that she wasn’t speaking from personal experience, rather out of suspicion or hearing the unfortunate crying of girls he’s dumped or kicked out in the middle of the night.
Twice had both good and bad things to say about Dabi. “He’s the best partner a guy could ever ask for. That jerk! He’s such an asshole!”
It was strange to you how different all of their responses were, and that difference only made you more curious about what kind of person Dabi is.
Your first real conversation took place at the bar. You had just come back from a mission with Toga. Your villain costume was covered with mats of blood and dust, and while Toga told you it made you look even cuter, you still couldn’t help but complain about the new found rips in the fabric from tumbling across concrete and gravel.
“Double scotch,” you told Kurogiri when you sat down at the bar.
From the corner of your eye, you could see Dabi leaning against one of the brick walls, cigarette hanging off his lips like a water droplet about to fall from a faucet. He took a drag of the cigarette. His eyes shot daggers at you from behind the hazy cloud of smoke that came from his lips. A lazy smirk etched its way on his face when Kurogiri set the drink in front of you and you took the first painful gulp.
“That’s a pretty bold drink for someone like you,” he said, leaning his back against the counter.
“How so?” You didn’t look up at him, instead opting to stir the ice cubes around and watch as they ever so slowly melted into the drink.
“Well I’d expect a bubbly princess like yourself to order something a little sweeter.”
Your eyes shifted to glare at him. The light emanating from the bulbs hanging from the ceiling bounced off his staples. The way it shined down on half of his face illuminated his blue eyes making them seem almost pretty. “What makes you think I’m a bubbly princess?”
That was good. Dabi likes it when a person has a bit of a bite to them, and your teeth were proving to be sharper than he thought. “You’re prissy,” he said.
“Prissy?” Your voice grew shrill at his comment, only proving his point. Your eyes had widened as you turned your head to look at him.
“Exactly.”
You didn’t know what to say. It was a staring match between the two of you, and the first person to speak would lose. “I’m not prissy.” It sounded more as if you needed to say it for yourself than anything.
“Then why are you so upset about a little dirt and blood on your outfit, doll?”
The nickname sent shivers down your spine and a warm blush crept over your face. How did he know you were so upset over that?
“Isn’t it just so,” he paused for a moment pretending to look for the right words. “Trivial?”
Trivial. That must be what he thinks of you. That you would drown yourself in whisky over a messy outfit when there are real injustices in the world. You’re pathetic. “I’m not prissy,” you repeated under your breath. It’s as if you were a robot having technical difficulties and could only say the one line.
Kurogiri placed a shot of whiskey on the counter for Dabi and took the empty glass away seconds later.
“Oh?” Dabi’s eyes widened as the shot ran down his throat and settled in his stomach. “You wanna prove it?” The blush creeping up your face ran cold as Dabi placed a scarred hand on your thigh. “Why don’t you come with me, doll.” His other hand delicately tucked itself under your chin and his thumb caressed your bottom lip. “Show me what that pretty mouth of yours can do.”
You’re not sure what you were thinking when you stood up to follow him, and it’s safe to say you regret getting on your knees for him. But what you wish most of all is that you didn’t enjoy it as much as you did.
With a new realization of why your fellow league members urged you to stay away from Dabi, you tried your hardest to avoid him. It was proving to be much more difficult than planned. The week following your alone time together he was hard to find. You suspected he was either out on the town or spending time in whatever shit-hole apartment he probably lives in.
You appreciated your week alone from him. It was silent and gave you time for reflection. You thought a lot about the night you shared and what your friends warned you about. As shitty as you felt, you couldn’t shake the memories of his hardened cock slipping in and out of your mouth with tears spilling out of your eyes as he grabbed the back of your head and thrusted his member down your throat.
Memories of you wanting to touch yourself but Dabi slapping your hand away rang through your head.
“I didn’t say you could touch yourself, did I, princess?”
Flipping your pillow over and burying your head inside, you let out a muffled whine. The more you thought of how much you enjoyed that night, the crappier you ended up feeling.
“I need a drink,” you said to yourself. Standing up from your bed, you left your apartment and walked the few blocks down to Kurogiri’s bar. The wind seemed to brush right through you as you walked the dimly lit street. Even so, you didn’t bother going back to grab a jacket.
The bar was near empty, as you expected it to be on a Wednesday night, aside from the league members who like you had nothing better to do with their time. Shigaraki was sitting in a booth playing some video game. Looking up at you as you walked in, he gave you an acknowledging nod which you happily reciprocated.
Spinner, Toga and Twice waved you over to the booth they were laughing in, but you respectively declined to sit at the counter.
“Double scotch,” you told Kurogiri.
It wasn’t long before you could feel a warm presence behind you and hot breath tickling the back of your neck. “It’s been a minute since I’ve seen you, doll,” Dabi’s sly voice croaked out. “Don’t tell me I scared you off.”
“I should be saying the same thing to you.” You smiled at Kurogiri as he set the drink down in front of you. Even after taking a sip you refused to look at Dabi. You weren’t trying to play coy with him, you just knew that if you did look into those piercing blue eyes of his, you would freeze entirely.
“I shouldn’t be complaining,” he chuckled, turning around so that his lower back was flat against the edge of the counter. “But we both know that this little confidence act you have going on is just a decoy.” His eyes shifted to glare at you. Dabi has a way with words, and he could tell just how flustered you were getting underneath the layer of makeup you had put on earlier that day. “So why don’t we just cut to the chase and you follow me around back.”
It wasn’t a question. It was a demand that he knew you would follow. Kicking back the rest of your scotch, you squeezed your eyes shut and waited for the burning sensation to pass. You stood up to follow him into the back room, all while training your eyes on the hardwood floor.
It happened again and again. Dabi would approach you at the bar and you would end up with bruised knees the next day. At first it was a weekly ordeal, but after a while it became more regular. You were sucking him off so often that you were sure the other league members assumed you were dating. You were curious why no one bothered asking if you were a couple. Then you realized.
Dabi doesn’t do dating.
Still, you didn’t want to believe that you were nothing to him. He was the closest league member to you physically yet the most distant in all other forms. He had taken a liking to you so much that he let you put your mouth around his most intimate area. That had to mean something, right.
Walking into the bar on a Friday night, you scouted the booths of tipsy men gambling away what little money they have in order to find him. Tears pooled in your eyes, however, when you saw Dabi leaning against a booth talking to a young woman you had never seen before.
She twirled her fingers through her long black hair as she spoke to him, a tipsy smile on her face like she had just taken a hit off a joint. She reached out for what would be the collar of his shirt and pulled him closer to her.
The sly smirk on his face didn’t go unnoticed by you. It was a smile your heart had grown to flutter at as you assumed he was only giving that smile to you.
The woman stood up and dragged him out of the building. As they walked right past you, he didn’t even bother to glance in your direction.
You cried yourself to sleep that night having finally realized what you were to him; a toy, his plaything, someone to abuse when he had nothing better to do. Loud muffled sobs echoed through your room as your feather pillows began to smell like mildew from the tears and snot that kept dripping out.
Your face was blotchy and the inside of your head felt like one big bug bite. You were miserable.
You ignored Shigaraki’s constant berate of texts and calls and missed your meeting with the league the next day, instead opting to watch reruns of shojo animes that appeared on your crap TV and eat copious amounts of instant ramen.
Eventually you texted Shigaraki back telling him you were sick. In a way you were. Every time you thought about going to the bar, more images of Dabi fondling that stupidly beautiful woman plastered themselves into your mind.
It’s not fair, you thought, how hard I’m falling for him and he doesn’t think to take a second glance at me.
Most of your day was spent yelling at yourself. You yelled at yourself for crying over a boy. You yelled at yourself for letting him get to you, for being so vulnerable that he could easily manipulate you into being his little puppet. But what you hated most of all was how you longed for him to stroke your hair, something he’s never done in a loving way, as you would sob into his chest.
Looking down at your knees, you frowned at the tender bruises that made you feel so exposed. You stood up to walk over to the poor excuse that you call a closet. The only items in there are a heavy duty jacket and a strapless dress that Toga got you as a birthday present. You never had a reason to wear it but it was long enough to cover your knees and that’s really all that mattered.
You slipped the dress on and spread it out with your hands. You modeled for yourself and couldn’t help but smile. She got your size right and everything.
Maybe you would go out tonight. You felt confident in the dress, something that you hadn’t felt in a long time. After putting on makeup to hide the blotchiness of your face, you left your apartment and headed straight for the bar.
The bar was less crowded than usual for a weekend. Your fellow league members hung around their usual booths and a couple other parties of a few people looking to get wasted were strewn about various tables.
Strutting over to the counter, you could hear Toga gushing over how cute you looked in the dress she got you.
“Double scotch?” Kurogiri asked.
You scrunched up your nose trying to decide for a moment if that’s really what you wanted. “Let’s change it up. Gin and tonic.”
You watched as Kurogiri prepared your drink.  He handed it off to you and you thanked him. It was a lighter drink than you were used to, but you didn’t mind. If anything, you felt happier drinking something more bubbly.
“Howdy.”
You turned your head to face a rather confident stranger who had sat down in the stool next to you. You had never been approached by a stranger before. It was almost exciting. Maybe it was the dress or the lighter drink or maybe it was the sorrow you were trying so hard to mask over, but you felt as though you had a vote of confidence sitting next to this stranger. Taking another sip of your drink, you smiled at him. “Hi.”
“What is a fine young lady like yourself doing in a place like this?” His eyes raked up and down your form. Though you were slightly repulsed by the act, you giggled nonetheless.
“Just looking for a fun time,” you said, leaning your cheek against your hand.
The stranger bit his lip and looked down at your chest. “Can I buy you a drink?”
You were about to respond when a gruff hand grabbed your arm and yanked you away. “Sorry, pal. She’s not interested.” Dabi dragged you along towards the back room you two have spent oh so many nights together in. He flinged you in front of him and slammed the door behind. The only light in the room was coming from the full moon peeking its way through the window.
“What the hell, Dabi?” You raised your voice, something you were not used to. It felt off but at the same time empowering.
“What the hell? What do you mean what the hell?” The usual sultry look in his eyes was replaced with rage.
“Why did you drag me away from that guy?” You weren’t sobbing like you expected to be the next time you saw Dabi. No, the sadness that once clouded your mind was replaced with anger.
He scoffed. “Oh, so you think you can fuck any stranger just because it’s been a few days since I let you suck my dick.”
You cursed yourself for the small ache that formed between your thighs. And you hated that you could feel yourself getting wet as Dabi inched his way towards you.
“Nah, sweetheart. You belong to me.”
Those were the four little words that you longed to hear since the first day he forced his cock into your mouth, leaving a small bruise on the back of your throat. Now that you’re actually hearing them, all you wanted to do was scream.
“How can you fucking say that?” Now it was your turn to back him up against a wall. “I’ve seen you flirt with other girls at the bar. I’ve seen you leave with other girls at the bar. So don’t tell me I’m not allowed to talk to another guy when you’re clearly out and about fucking whoever. I don’t belong to anyone.”
You don’t remember the few seconds leading up to Dabi grabbing you and slamming you against the closed door. The next thing you do remember is his hands pinning your wrists against the wood. The moonlight illuminated his eyes that stared into you with a mixture of lust and anger.
It wasn’t long before he crashed his lips onto yours like you were the last meal he’d ever eat. It’s then that you realize that this was the first time he had actually kissed you. You had never fully tasted him until this point. He tasted like stale cigarettes and whiskey, an intoxicating combination.
Dabi pulled away, glaring at you. You tried to lean back in and recapture his lips, but you were stopped when one of his hands delicately gripped your throat.
“Do you really think you’ll find anyone who’s better than me?” Slowly and cautiously, his hand tightened around your throat, gripping it enough to feel your pulse in his hand. His deep chuckle bounced throughout the room. “You haven’t even seen what I can do.”
The hand around your throat left to wrap around your hips and hoist you up. You instinctively wrapped your legs around him. You couldn’t stop the look of shock from spreading across your face like butter as you felt the tent in his pants poking at your panties.
Dabi chuckled as he reached into your dress, pulling it down and scooping your boobs into his hands.
You gasped as you felt him latch his mouth onto your nipple. Your hands instinctively traveled to his hair to support yourself. You squished your body further into him.
“Someone’s eager.” His remark caused your nether regions to twitch. “Has sucking my cock not been enough for you, princess?”
You didn’t know what to say. So instead, you tugged on his hair letting him know that you wanted him to continue.
“I see,” he said. He began trailing open mouth kisses from your clavicle bone all the way up to the shell of your ear. “If you keep this up, I might just have to take you right here, where everyone can hear you screaming my name on the other side of that door.”
His words didn’t click immediately. All you could think about was the thought of screaming his name as his pierced tongue ran laps against your tender and puffy clitoris. “Please,” you whispered. “Please.”
It was one word that spoke numbers. Dabi’s shit-eating grin widened as he hiked up your dress. “Well then, I guess we better see how wet your little pussy is for me.” With your arms still wrapped around his neck, he gripped your ass with one hand, using his thumb to stroke up and down your already soaked panties. “You’re already this wet for me and I’ve barely touched you?” There was a hint of smugness to his words like he knew that he as good at sex and if you weren’t already soaked it wouldn’t be long before you were.
You bit your lips as the warmth from his palms dug into your core. In a split second, your panties were ripped and the remnants were left forgotten on the floor. You would have been mad if they were a nice pair or if you weren’t so focused on Dabi’s knuckles barely grazing your hardened clit.
“You want me so bad don’t you, you little slut?”
The words rang in your ears loud and clear. You do want him, more than anything.
Dabi sticks two fingers in his mouth and rubs them across your clit after gathering the slick from around the outside of your walls.
Your breath staggered a bit at feeling his warm fingers. You tried to grind your hips forward, matching his pace, but the way Dabi pulled at your hair and bit your collar bone told you to stop.
When he pushed his fingers deep inside you and your walls clenched around him, he could finally feel just how tight you were.
With your eyes squeezed shut and face contorting in ecstasy, Dabi could truly see just how beautiful you were to him. He slid two of his fingers inside and scissored them up and down, back and forth, just feeling the way your walls pulsated around him. He snickered at the sloshing sound of his fingers hooking around your walls and the little breaths that escaped your mouth.
Dabi pulled his hand out to spit on his four fingers, and rapidly rubbed them against your clit, causing you to cum instantly onto his palm. He caught you in his arms again before your knees could give out.
When the waves hitting you had finally subsided, you opened your eyes to find a smirking Dabi, clearly pleased with the performance you had just given him.
“Look at you,” he said, wiping his hand covered in your juices across your breast. “You’re so fucking messy. Did you do all of this just for me?”
The sight of you coming undone like that had him palming his dick through his black jeans. The ways your mascara trailed down your cheeks as tears rolled down the side of your face made him want to take you right then and there.
So he did.
Dabi made a big show of unbuckling his belt and letting his cock spring free.
Even though you had sucked his dick countless times, it looked so much more intimidating knowing it would be going inside you.
“Don’t tell me you’re scared, doll.” Dabi stroked his length, fondling the pieces of jewelry dawning its head and underside.
You found yourself drooling at remembering what his jacob’s ladder felt like against your tongue.
Hoisting you up again, Dabi slammed your back against the door. You could feel it wobbling against your back as your jaw went slack.
With your arms around his neck, Dabi pushed your still bruised knees to the side, exposing your tender pussy to the air. He held the base of his cock in one hand and gathered up as much slick as he could. Positioning his head along your opening, he snapped his hips forward, roughly penetrating you.
You let out a harsh moan that seemed to rile him up.
“That’s it.” Dabi eased out of you, only to snap his hips forward again. “Say my name.”
“Ngh. Dabi,” you muttered in a breathy moan.
“Louder.”
“Dabi!” Your throat felt raw at saying his name like that.
As his hips snapped forward and his piercing tickled the edge of your cervix, your back rubbed up against the old wood of the door. The burning sensation was beginning to feel unbearable, but the feeling of Dabi playing with your breasts and biting your neck distracted you from the pain.
“Who do you belong to?” he barked.
“You.”
“Who do you belong to!?”
“You dabi! I will always belong to you. I won’t fuck anyone else. Only you.”
He chuckled. “Not so much of a priss now, are you?” He grabbed your chin, forcing you to turn your head towards him. Your shaky breath tickled his face as he forced your hips further and further against the door.
You knew there would be bruises the next day, that you would probably ache all over, but you didn’t care.
Dabi pinched your clit and he thrusted into you and you couldn’t help but scream. Your pussy tightened and you came around him. He thrusted again, once, twice, until he shot his hot ropes of cum inside you.
He stayed there for a moment, knees shaking as your back was held against the wall. As the both of you caught your breath, you stroked a hand through his black hair, exposing a couple white roots into your sight.
Dabi pulled his softening cock out of you and tucked it back into his boxers.
Barely able to stand, you used his shoulder to prop yourself up and stretch your legs. “How do I look?” you asked, bleary eyes looking up at him. “Is my makeup too smudged?”
He smiled down at you, a smile you have never seen before. This one was sincere and in a way loving. “You look beautiful.” He wiped underneath your eye with his thumb “My little cumslut.”
As Dabi opened the door leading to the rest of the bar, you pulled the top of the dress back up to cover your tits and spread it down with your hands so it wouldn’t expose your pantyless ass. When you left the dark room you paused to see the entire bar was staring at you, both your friends and the complete strangers.
Toga had a shit-eating grin plastered along her face whereas Shigaraki looked at the two of you with disgust. Twice, in all honesty, looked like he was about to cry.
“Everybody here needs to back the fuck off,” Dabi said, looping an arm around your waste. “This one belongs to me.”
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deeranger · 3 years
Text
Fic Writer Questions!
@oddsocksandstuff tagged me in this, thank you so much, sweetie!  ❤️
 1) How many works do you have on AO3? I’ve got 40 so far (of which 25 are SPN fics). There’s more to come! 
2) What’s your total AO3 word count? 486,667, apparently. That tells me each of my fics has an average wordcount of 12,166.675… Seems about right. I was never any good at keeping things short.
3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? Uhh… On AO3 I’ve written for Supernatural, Supernatural RPF, X-men (Cherik) and McFassy (James McAvoy/Michael Fassbender). But I’ve written a lot when I was younger that has never made it online, including NCIS, Pirates of the Caribbean, and lots of weird one-shorts starring everyone from Michael J. Fox to Kevin Sorbo from “Hercules: The Legendary Journeys”. 🤨  
4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos? “A Lesson to be Taught” – an SPN Wincest pwp fic where a dominant Dean fucks (and spanks) Sam and they discover that Dean apparently has a daddy!kink. Comes with a photo manipulation too! There be dick.    
“Taking Game” – a semi-dark medieval Cherik (Charles Xavier/Erik Lehnsherr from X-men) AU. Basically, Charles is a poacher hunting on king Erik’s land to his great dismay. And so, he’s captured and gets the choice between losing his life or serving the king for a bit… Dubcon and smut ensues.   “Only Like This” – a little SPN Wincest dub-con fic about hopelessly pining Dean doping Sam just so he can touch and kiss his oblivious little brother. It’s okay. Sam won’t remember when he comes to.   “It’s Only Carnal” – A dark SPN Wincest noncon fic where soulless!Sam needs to blow off some steam. And when it comes to carnal activities his brother isn’t exactly a novice – so why not use Dean’s body to make them both feel good?   “Demonized” – a long and dark af SPN noncon fic written in collaboration with the awesome @palishere. Sam is captured by some nasty demons who use him to lure in his brother. At first it seems the demonic scumbags are just really perverted and have a weakness for sexual torture, but they turn out to have ulterior motives…  
5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not? Yes, always. I think it can be a bit demotivating for a reader to leave a comment and get zero response – and so, they might not bother to comment on the next fic. At least, that’s how I feel personally. And besides, I really want to let readers know that I appreciate them taking the time and effort to actually tell me what they think.  
6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? Oufff… Seriously? How can I possibly pick just one when 99.8 percent of my fics are not only dark af but have gut-wrenching ambiguous endings as well? I, err… I’m gonna have to think really hard about this one, hold on… *Insert buzzing cicada sound*… Uhh… Well, I guess it might be… “Play or Pay” – a dark female!reader-insert Wincest fic where demon!Dean has you and Sam trapped somewhere underground. Sam ends up being on the receiving end of the demon’s cruelty when he tries to save you. Using Dean’s body the demon ends up raping Sam while the reader tries to escape to get help... There’s a little twist in the end. Loads of dead dove here, including death (not Dean or Sam).     “The Orange Hour” – where undercover inmate!Dean has to rape CO!Sam in order to save both of their lives and get them out of the jail in one piece. It doesn’t go completely as planned. (Comes with an nsfw photo manipulation).  “Demonized” – loads of bottom!Sam torture, full of hurt and absolutely no comfort... It’s just… I dunno, I think I and @palishere had a collective meltdown in the noncon and angst department. Sorrynotsorry.      
8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written? Nope, I’ve never in my life written a crossover. Usually, I’m too laser-focused on 1 obsession at a time. I can’t multitask, okay?   
9) Have you ever received hate on a fic? Yes, the fandom purity police has visited me on AO3. The usual self-proclaimed know-it-alls vomiting their bullshit all over the comment section about how “problematic” noncon is and how “sick” I must be. I thought about moderating comments for a while, actually – but I just deleted their follow-up comments until they left me alone. 😤
10) Do you write smut? If so what kind? Yes!! Gimme! Usually, I write noncon smut or just good ol’ pwps that feature some sort of dominance. That’s it. That’s my jam. In general, the only smut I don’t write is the cute, fluffy, feel-good, cuddly stuff… My smut’s usually pretty rough and/or some sort of dub/noncon.
11) Have you ever had a fic stolen? Yes. Someone stole “It’s Only Carnal” and posted it as her own on some Portuguese fanfiction site. She even replied to comments, answered questions and talked about how much she loved writing it, etc… Luckily a sweet mutual on Tumblr let me know about it and I reported her for plagiarism. The stolen fic was taken down shortly after and the account deleted. Goddamn thief. 😡  
12) Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes. Honestly, I can’t remember which fic(s). But people have contacted me on AO3 and asked for permission to translate my stuff into Chinese. I have - of course - happily allowed them to. It’s such an awesome compliment to get, I think!  
13) Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes, 2. “Demonized” and the fluffy Ficfacers prompt fic “The Masks We Wear” starring Sam and Dean taking their pranks a step too far. Basically, the brothers get angry with each other and they need to talk it out… No smut in this one, can you believe it?!! But that was kinda the prompt we received. The prompt was literally: “Sam and fluff”. Anyways, both fics are co-written with the lovely @palishere. You can find her AO3 here. 😊
14) What’s your all time favorite ship? Wincest!!! Definitely. Gimme all the brotherfucking, please. No contest. And coming in on second place I guess there’s Samifer – never paired consensually, though. I just love Lucifer messing with Sam’s head and torturing him in all kinds of cruel ways.    
15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? Oh, that’s a mean question… I have a noncon WIP where Sam and Dean are in prison. I wrote a whole story outline, gathered my own little dictionary of prison slang, etc… But I never made it past page 10 or something. Sam was supposed to get jumped by a gang of inmates and then Dean was supposed to helplessly watch from the sideline, offering to trade places if they’d just leave his little brother alone… And after that it’s all about a mix of healing and vengeance… But the story has been lying on the shelf for more than a year and I doubt I’ll ever continue it. Oh, wait! I almost forgot – I have a long Cherik WIP sequel to “To Have and to Hold”! Just checked, its wordcount is 18,729! Holy crap…. What a waste, huh? But I honestly don’t think I’ll ever finish it, because I’m not into Cherik anymore. That ship has kinda sunk for me…. So, now I’m hyperfixating on Supernatural, yeah?     
16) What are your writing strengths? Description, I think. I just love details and setting the mood. I like to think I’m pretty good at writing in English too even though it isn’t my native language… I wish to be better and expand my vocabulary but I’m doing okay nonetheless.
17) What are your writing weaknesses? Description, I think. Yes, you read correctly. I often describe things TOO much. Sometimes to the extent where the pacing gets so slowed down that I feel like the scene loses its ‘feel’. I don’t know if it’s just in my head, but that’s my major concern about my writing. That and my signature ambiguous endings, lol.
18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? Love it. It can be difficult to pull off, but if you get it right it can be magical. Just don’t overdo it and make sure that the reader can follow. I don’t think I have any fics online where I do it, but I’m not a complete stranger to it either.
19) What was the first fandom you wrote for? Ack, my poor brain trying to go back to when I was friggin’ 13… You know how many years ago that was?! 25!!! Okay!? *Huffs*…. Anyway, I THINK it might’ve been Keanu Reeves’ character in “Johnny Mnemonic”. Or maybe David James Elliott’s character as Harmon Rabb in the early seasons of “JAG”. I dunno. Either way this question makes me feel really old and I don’t appreciate it. Don’t @ me. 😅   
20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? That’s probably a tie between “The Orange Hour” and “It’s Only Carnal”. They’ve both got nice pacing and that’s my biggest challenge, I think. Also, I love the whole Morse code thing in “The Orange Hour”. I don’t even know what happened or how I came up with it, but hey, I can surprise myself if I want to, I guess! And of course there’s the smutty noncon and all of the hurt… So, those two fics are my personal faves. 😏  
I’ll tag @jackandthesoulmates, @pinkoptics, @palishere, @wrenseroticlibrary, @decadent-prince, @negans-lucille-tblr, @juinae and @impala-dreamer and everyone else who feels like doing it! Feel free to ignore, of course. 
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7wanderingpaws · 3 years
Text
He Loves Love (3/3)
Tumblr media
Pairing: Baekhyun x reader
Genre: solo singer! AU
Word count: 4K+
Warnings: none! just a playful Baek!
--- Please make sure to read the the notes at the end! ---
Masterlist
tags: @iloveagain​ @buttercupbbh​ @wooya1224​ @baekberrie​ (sorry if I left out someone? its been ages since i updated and I didnt know if its okay to tag those who commented on chap. 2 :( didnt want to be rude ><)
1 <<< 2 <<< 3
It was the day of the release. The release of his magazine cover.
The PR went… mad.
“Listen, sweetie, editor, I don't think we will have enough pieces. The damn thing is literally going to be sold out in a matter of hours.”
You received this call before lunch time. Lunch time was very early on in the day. So why was Baekhyun's magazine cover about to be sold out in the entirety of Korea on the same day of the release date?
“Erm, yeah about that. I am an editor, just like you said. You need to call the-”
“I know, I know,” she interrupted but there wasn't an inch of impatience in her voice. “What I am trying to say is - congratulations! You did a great job!”
It took you a moment to realize what she was saying, because she was right. Your participation in this issue was big; after all you took care of the props and settings and you were looking over his pictures during the photoshoot. Out of nowhere, your heartbeat sped up. “Oh, thank you! That's very kind of you, but I still need to improve a lot-”
In that moment, the happy ding! that never failed to make you all trembly and nervous, sounded on your desk.
Waiter: miss editor am I seeing correctly????? wowow ihavenowords
Waiter: did you just make me sell out your magazine?????? ihavenowords
Waiter: did you save yourself at least one piece??? huhuuhuhuuu ihavenowords ><
Waiter: i think someone just made themselves a good name in the mag industry ^^ congratulations!!!
Waiter: does that mean i will get to see you? hmmm maybe to give a congratulatory bouquet of flowers???? 🤭🤭🤭 🌹💐🌺
Biting your lip quickly to suppress the happy grin, you quickly attended to the phone call, chatting a bit more with the PR lady. Honestly, you didn't like to talk to them much as they were all over the place, too demanding and didn’t have a great understanding of a creative mind. Thankfully, you didn't have to deal with them too often.
It hadn't been that long since your last meeting with Baekhyun. His kisses on your cheek and one kiss on your forehead seemed to be still burning on your skin, sometimes making you drag the pad of your index finger over the mentioned places, needing some sort of closure from him that you had yet to receive. 
Texting now was a full on habit between you, causing you to become sad, disappointed and even anxious if he wouldn’t reply that soon, worried he changed his mind about you, and his feelings towards you. Because even though you admitted to him that you liked him, he was being still very cautious, still very polite with you, as if there was some sort of invisible line between you two that he was scared to cross, for some reason.
Trying to look at it from his point of view, there were many risks of him wanting a relationship with you, and you couldn't not agree. If anything, you were being thankful for his thoughtfulness and carefulness, for if he messed up even the tiniest bit around you and your secret meetings of a blooming start of a relationship, he would not see the end of the hate, and neither would you. Heck, his career was on the line.
You managed to reply to his playful messages that went on and on, before you would have to dive into another cover magazine plan that you had to start thinking through.
Me: I think I should congratulate YOU! the most wanted man in Korea it seems ;)
Me: these days i have some important meetings… an upcoming cover… im definitely doing overtime today :( when is it good for you? I will try to arrange my schedule with yours
Waiter: ohoh the most wanted man you say? i wonder if the one i want wants me just as much…….???
Waiter: i would like to see you more often before my album drops, you know i will get quite busy and not seeing you for too long doesnt seem to work well with me anymore ><
Waiter: sooo… i will come pick you up from work tonight just shoot me a msg *^
Just as his messages could make your heartbeat go into a crazy overdrive, it seemed he could also make it completely stop. Or so you thought. His flirting and now his proposal to pick you up gave you a huge shock. That would be a first for sure.
Me: sure! have your phone with you Mr Korea
Me: I wonder too if that person wants you as much ;)
You decided not to pay him any more attention after that as much as you were tempted. Your belly was levitating along with your body, feeling high on vitamin Baekhyun. Pressing down the urge to tease him, you put your phone away, your hands slightly trembly from the attention you kept receiving from someone like him.
If your predictions were even close to correct, you wanted to tell him: yes, the one that he wanted, wanted him just as much.
You were fast to leave your work that day. Excited butterflies were eating your insides away, and the only way to make them calm down was to finally meet the person who always made their wings flutter.
Baekhyun was already parked in the underground parking lot, his car the only one with the motor on - and the only car of his class. You spotted him sitting in his car in his white jersey shirt, his left elbow propped on the windowsill as his index finger was stuck between his teeth, gnawing at it. When he saw you, he took a double-take and quickly changed his posture which made you giggle.
Baekhyun was following you with his eyes, going even to the length of leaning in over the passenger seat so as not to lose sight of you until he reached over and opened the passenger door for you so you could slide in.
“Why, thank you,” you smiled cheerfully as you sat down. You closed the door and put your bag down in between your legs.
“My pleasure,” he said back with a pleasant smile. “Hand me the bag, I'll put it in the backseat.”
You quickly did as he asked and then reached for your seatbelt.
“How was work today? We should celebrate!” he exclaimed as he put the car into drive and made his way out of the parking lot.
You hummed, gnawing on your lip. “That would be wonderful,” you said but hesitated about offering anything further. It was difficult to read the situation; you wouldn't know what you could afford to do with him and what not; what would be stepping over the line and what wouldn't. But Baekhyun said he liked you. In fact, he even told you to look at him like at any other man. That meant you shouldn't doubt all the possible hang-out ideas you had, right?
“I think it is you who deserves a gift,” you murmured and stole a look at his concentrated face. You reached the outside now, the dark evening slowly changing into night, the light of passing cars illuminating your faces.
“Hmm, I think so, too. Something in lines of - I can pick whatever I want, huh?”
Hiding your smile behind your hand, you nodded. “Yes, I can grant something. But don't make it expensive. Even though you sold out our magazine, it doesn't mean I will get a pay rise right away.”
“Oh, it won't include any monetary value,” he promised and turned to look at you when he stopped at the red light, the line in front of you seemingly going on for at least a mile. “It would be something you can and should be able to do freely.”
Despite the darkness of the car, Baekhyun could still spot that gorgeous, astounding blush colouring your cheeks. He really grew to love it; to make you so flustered you couldn't help but grow all red, just for him. “What do you think?” he asked quietly, still observing you with a small lopsided smile.
First you looked at your connected hands in your lap and then looked up at him through your lashes. “Depends what it is, but I owe you, so…” you trailed off.
He chuckled quietly, causing your heart to skip a beat before he started driving again, the line in front slowly moving. “Wonderful.”
Within forty-five minutes, you found yourself seated in a Korean restaurant, both yours and Baekhyun's shoes left at the entrance. Baekhyun, knowing the owner, asked for a separate room where people usually held business dinners, to ensure you would have full privacy and could enjoy each other.
It was a bit mind-blowing how much he could just do. His authority was admirable but at the same time it reminded you how you could hardly compare. If you would have asked the owner to give you a separate room, you might have had to fight for it or give him some money. Baekhyun seemed to walk in like a prince, confidently talking to people as if it was so natural.
“Can you give me a moment?” he asked suddenly, already standing up. “I forgot something in the car. Choose a meal until then.”
You nodded and saw him shuffling towards the door. Quickly going through the menu, you were thankful it was just an ordinary Korean restaurant that specializes in noodle soups and wasn't pricey. Picking the one that seemed the most special, you put the menu away just in time for Baekhyun to return back. His right hand was behind his back, obviously hiding something.
He had a sheepish smile on his face as he stepped towards you and handed you a beautiful bouquet of colourful flowers, the smell of which instantly hit your nose. You felt your mouth stretch into a wide smile as you stood up to your feet.
“Oh my god, what is this for, Baekhyun?” you asked, looking up into his eyes just to find them sparkling with anticipation.
“I know I never asked you out on an official date, so I might not be dressed up to my best potential, but I really wanted to give you something and today, as I said, I wanted to give you a bouquet. Please, accept it,” he added breathily, watching you with bated breath, nudging the flowers out to you.
You giggled and he smiled right away as you took the bouquet in your hand, careful as to not hold his fingers that were still curled around the stems. “Thank you.”
As you wanted to pull back, he leaned in, grabbing your wrist gently that was holding the flowers, bringing you closer. His lips hovered over your cheek and he eventually pressed them there. “Good job on your first cover,” he murmured and leaned away the slightest to watch your surprised reaction. Your eyes were watching his mouth and he had to restrain himself from going any further. He didn't want to cross the line. Not yet.
Unfortunately, you had to separate when the doors opened and the waiter came in. She was taken aback for the slightest of moments when she noticed you and Baekhyun backing away from each other but both of you recovered quickly and sat down, ready to order.
“This Vietnamese noodle soup is my favourite,” mentioned Baekhyun, looking at you. “So that is your gift to me - eating my favorite food with me.”
It was late June, the beginning of the most humid weeks of the year with the monsoon season around the corner.
Baekhyun became so busy with the release of his album back in May, that you rarely got to see him afterwards, although he made sure to see you a couple of times per week even if he was on the verge of falling asleep. Besides meeting, you were always chatting on the phone, him updating you about his daily schedules while you would mostly talk and send pictures about the same old stuff - your office, your computer screen or your late lunch. Or a selfie. You were on that basis now, despite a first kiss never happening.
It made you think sometimes if you were the one who was supposed to make the first move. If you grew eager to finally feel him in that way, then he must have also had some similar feelings, right? You had been dying to kiss him since the first time he said he liked you. And it was late June now.
Late June meant that the music awards show was happening just this particular night. Baekhyun had been texting you eager messages to double-check that you would really be attending like you told him you would.
While you quickly looked yourself over in the mirror in your office - you worked even today, a Saturday - you checked your phone's screen, seeing the previews of his messages.
Waiter: finally our schedules overlap ❤️ Waiter: i cant actually believe it  Waiter: huhuhuhu missy are you done with preparing? im curious to see.... Waiter: its just that it would be difficult to do so without it…
Hastily checking your earrings, you read the previews with a large smile. It would be an exciting night.
When you arrived at the event along with your colleagues, you couldn't help feeling clammy from the excitement. The possibility of spotting Baekhyun was making you sick with anticipation. It wasn't even the amount of people attending the event, it was just him; just the idea that he was somewhere there and hopefully he was looking for you just like you were looking for him.
Your colleagues hurried to sit down as the ceremony was about to start. Since you were busy in the office, you ended up leaving the headquarters much later than planned, but there was nothing you could do about it anymore.
The lights dimmed just when you made yourself comfortable, making it too difficult to look around and recognize faces. Deciding to quickly check the messages you didn't have time to look at before, you finally saw what Baekhyun was bombarding you so much about.
Waiter: finally our schedules overlap Waiter: i cant actually believe it Waiter: huhuhuhu missy are you done with preparing? im curious to see how you look so you could send me a selfie and so then i can recognize you at the event hm? without having to stare everywhere and become suspicious Waiter: its just that it would be difficult to do so without it sooooo ????? Waiter: yah!! where did you go?? Waiter: ex...excuse me? ehm ehm!!! Waiter: wow okay… Waiter: Y/N … disappeared... Waiter: i guess you are busy >< im arriving at the venue soon update me so i know where you attttttt okiiii??? ㅎㅅㅎ
You hid your smile behind your hand and quickly typed him a message to update him like he demanded. You couldn't send a selfie anymore because of the silly lights and your superiors being at the same table, you couldn't afford to be on your phone all the time. Hyeri, as much as she was kind, didn't like it when the job was not done properly, so you made sure to pay attention to the performances while you felt your phone vibrate with messages most probably from Baekhyun.
You bit your lip to keep in the smile, your heart fluttering. How was he able to be this… gorgeous even through messages? How was he able to make your heart beat frantically even when he was not around you? Unknowingly, your desire for him grew by tenfold, the sudden urge to meet him almost overtaking your actions, but one strict stare from Hyeri and you stopped squirming in your chair as you realized you did with a horrified look. Wow. You had to do something about this, and it had to be very soon.
To your big misfortune, you never spotted Baekhyun until it was his turn to overtake the stage. As much as you expected something huge, it was anything but that. No props, just a simple mic stand and then, a Baekhyun in a ready-to-go-for-a-date look, plus four dancers and he was able to fill the huge stage to the brim with his presence. That was it. Simple as that.
You inhaled his entire performance, the loud screamings of crazy fans not enough to pull you out of your reverie that consisted of Byun Baekhyun and Byun Baekhyun only. His movements, so sharp yet so smooth, his flirting with the camera, his lip bites, and that crazy happy smile; all of it. He was changing images from lethal sexy, through lazily suggestive, then sweetly gorgeous until becoming cute and ready to pet on the head. Without anything more to add, he had each flavor of a candy to offer and you had never been this addicted to candies in your life.
...
You met him accidentally when you were leaving the toilets that were meant for the VIPs. Closing the door behind you, you felt its cold surface press to your bare back when Baekyun appeared in front of you, freezing momentarily when he recognized you.
He smiled instantly, happy to finally see you, before he let his eyes wander. Finally, he let you know that he was looking. Oh he was. Your dress was revealing on the back, which he had yet to witness, but the front was completely covered, hugging your chest and waist, telling Baekhyun that there was something to look at for sure. The long, wavy skirt that stopped just above the floor was bunched up in your hand, showing sparkly high-heeled shoes that were the cause of the pain in your ankles.
None of you said a word as you took a note of his fancy suit, the simple stage outfit now gone. It was fully black, but once again you couldn't comprehend how broad his shoulders and chest were despite his shirt that was tucked into his pants being black, too.
“Good performance,” you broke the silence finally, meeting his somewhat eager gaze. “I have to admit, I was swooning with the other girls, too.”
That got Baekhyun's attention. His eyebrow rose in question and he stepped closer but not before making sure there were no prying eyes in the small corridor. His body covered yours from anyone, were you to be disturbed. “Oh, were you, really?”
You nodded, your smile teasing. “Yeah.”
He smiled gently, his gaze running over your features that were touched up with make-up. “I'm glad. If I wanted to impress someone, it was you.”
“You did that a long time ago,” you admitted shyly, averting your eyes so he wouldn't catch you shyness.
You heard him letting out a laugh through his nose. “So cute,” he muttered, stepping even closer. “I have to run back but let me drive you home tonight.”
His words made your head snap up though you weren't that much smaller from him anymore thanks to the heels. His words ignited something inside of you. “You came with your car?”
“I asked my friend to bring it over to the venue,” he said. “I am not going back to my company after this. I finally found you here and-” he sighed softly, shaking his head as he looked at you, “I want to spend some time with you. Alone.”
Your breath hitched in your throat, his look making you all itchy and needy. Without much thinking, you found yourself nodding a tad too eagerly which made Baekhyun smile. “Alright,” you whispered, “text me. But I can't leave before my superiors do.”
“Can I just steal you?”
Giggling, you shook your head and suppressed the need to hold his hand. “I'm afraid no. But I will try my best to get out of it quickly.”
His smile was so gentle as he nodded slowly, closing his eyes for a second before stepping even closer, his fingertips running over your clothed forearm in the most feather-like way. “Okay. I'll be waiting for you,” sweetheart.
The car came to a complete stop in front of your small apartment building. Audi had quite the silent engine anyway, but now with it being turned off, you felt like silence had a physical form and was growing in on you, making the tension between you and Baekhyun the more difficult to withstand.
Given his silence, you knew that you should say something, and you also knew what you were supposed to do. It was now or never. “Would you maybe… like to come in?”
He glanced over, checking your expression to see if you were serious. He parted his lips but hesitation stole the words away from him. You chuckled when he opened his mouth again and smiled abashedly. “'I’d love to.”
Oh my god, you thought as the both of you made your way towards your apartment. In panic, you tried to quickly think over what state you left your flat in exactly, but it seemed that your mind was clogged up, unable to come up with anything that could possibly explain what was happening in that very moment. Byun Baekhyun, the superstar, was coming inside your apartment. And he seemed to be rather quiet.
Was he overthinking this? Maybe he would realise this was all a mistake and that you weren't good enough for him. Maybe you did something off-putting today?
As you were typing in the code to your house, you felt his strong presence behind you, his gaze on your naked back, and you swore the tension just grew even more when you let him enter your little safety den first. Surely, it was no luxury like he must have been used to by then, given the many years of singing career, but you could only hope it would be enough.
You had been far too gone for him. If he were to dump you, you might end up hurt and heartbroken. 
Letting the door close behind you, you wanted to follow him only to see him standing just a couple of steps ahead of you, looking into the apartment but not moving further inside. “You can enter, Baekyhun.”
“You look so beautiful tonight,” he said softly out of nowhere, catching you off guard with his honest words. Letting them sink in, you bit your lip, feeling your heartbeat accelerate again. It wasn't possible to get a heart attack, right? 
He was standing in front of you while your back was pressed to the front door you just closed behind you. “Thank you,” you whispered, matching his intimate tone and feeling like you were about to combust. “You look really handsome tonight.” And everyday.
He smiled, which you couldn't see as he still had his back on you. Just then, he turned and with that pleasant expression on his face made those separating two steps towards you until he stood right in front of you, causing you to look up. “Thank you.”
You nodded, feeling the terrible blush creeping up into your cheeks. Actually your entire body was suddenly on a heat wave, feeling the prickles of sweat to form under your dress as he stared at you affectionately. God, you wanted him so much it was really becoming unbearable.
“Can I ask you a question?”
“You just asked one,” you replied mischievously, grinning, just to be rewarded with a wide smile from him as he stepped even closer, your heart clenching painfully. Was it the chemistry that was so painful?
“Cheeky,” he whispered, his breath almost hitting your cheek. You kept his eye contact before you nudged him with a go on.
What, do you want to kiss me on the cheek again? you desperately wanted to ask, to tease him. Or would this finally be it? Would he finally just... kiss you? 
“May I kiss you, sweetheart. On the lips.” His intonation was far from that of a question. He was so hot, goodness. And your knees were suddenly jelly-like as you couldn’t stop staring into his eyes when you nodded.
He let out a breathy laugh when he almost pressed his body into yours. Almost. “You don’t like to confirm things out loud with me, do you, beauty?”
“Yes, you may kiss me, Baekhyun. Please, just finally kiss me.”
It was almost as if he wouldn't wait for your approval anyway, as he was leaning in before your words even left your mouth, his hands coming to gently rest against the door; caging you in, yet making you feel even more safe. He was carefully watching your features as he pressed his lips to yours, one hand coming to cradle your face gently before he finally captured your upper lip and you melted. 
Closing your eyes, you sighed as you let your hands slide up his toned chest and around his neck when he pressed himself into you just a little bit closer, a very much satisfied hum coming out of his throat that sent shock waves down your body. That deadly hum. It could really do anything to you, it was that attractive to you.
You dared to run your fingers through his hair that had gel in it, but still felt so cutely soft under your touch. You played with his pillows, prolonging the gentle sucking as you dragged his lower lip towards you, feeling the wetness of his mouth. He leaned in as you separated for the slightest of moments, tilting his head to the other side, unconsciously making one step closer so you felt him on your chest and the surface of the door on your back.
Smooch after smooch, you soon realized he was a loud kisser that liked the licking sounds and the responses from you as you breathed out softly while his thumb caressed your blushed cheek.
Another loud smooch, and this time he was the one who dragged your lower lip towards him with his teeth, as he bumped his nose with yours, tilting his head to the opposite side again while both of his hands cradled your face with utmost care.
Eventually, he kissed you one last time, ending it with him pressing his forehead to yours, not opening his eyes just yet. You didn’t either, relishing in the lingering feeling of him around your mouth as his warm pants pushed in through your parted lips. Slowly, he nuzzled your nose and you giggled softly which prompted him to open his eyes to meet yours already on him.
“That was better than I could ever imagine,” he whispered and smiled handsomely.
You blushed even more, if that was possible. “Ditto.”
His eyes widened and he leaned away a bit. “Don’t tell me you fantasized about kissing me?”
You shrugged but didn’t meet his eye. “How could I not? I’m a human, aren’t I? And you know I like to be straightforward.”
He smirked, knowingly nodding to himself. “Oh yeah, right. The straightforward business.”
You chuckled. “You’re too good of a kisser.”
“Only the best for you,” he winked and those words made you feel things. Before you could reply, he blurted: “Can I be your boyfriend?”
Smiling widely, you nodded, feeling absolutely elated. This was really happening. “Yes, you can be my boyfriend, Baekhyun.”
He sweeped you in his arms, bringing you in for another kiss. “That means,” he murmured between the kisses, “that I can kiss you just like that. And I can finally call you sweetheart,” he breathed the nickname before opening his mouth and devouring you, showing how passionate of a kisser he could be.
You never doubted him, of course, but in situations like these, reality was always better than your poor imagination, for your brain could never produce the exceptional feeling of having Byun Baekhyun’s lips on yours, feeling the moisture and his playful tongue, his creativity of teasing you with it astonishing. No. Nothing could ever compare.
There was only one Byun Baekhyun and he was a superstar. Off-limits to almost everyone. But not to you. Not anymore.
--- --- --- --- ---
A/N: And that is the end! This is the final part, so with this, I am also saying goodbye to this story that made my heart flutter a wee bit... ^^ Thank you to whomever sent me support via comments/reblogs, dms, I was glad this story could bring something enjoyable to the table! ❤   
--- As you know, these 3 chapters were supposed to be about how our characters met and became a couple. So I hope I delivered well! I know I put the M sign in the beginning way back in May, but while plotting, I realized it wasnt suitable for these 3 parts. It would take me more chapters to write to bring it to that point (hint: if you request it as a standalone oneshot later, I am willing to write it but otherwise it would need more relationship building). 
I hope this explains it! 
Thank you again!
Please let me know what you thought, it would mean a lot and its free!
CuriousCat Ask box is also open! Or comments!💕
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ex-silent-reader · 3 years
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Happy Holidays fic recs
Happy Holidays everybody!  I haven’t been commenting on posts individually like i normally like to so it’s kind of backed up a bit. I still really want to thank all the authors who have been sharing their stories with us and leave a lil itty bitty comment before I can expand on them for their own post so here’s that! Also I’ve seen a lot of undeserved negativity being spread to a lot of authors and I just want to thank you all for sharing your work on this platform FOR FREE and remind you that you literally owe us nothing and I’m super grateful that you continue to share with us. These are just some stories that I’ve read this week, i’d def like to do another of these soon :)
Disclaimer: I DO NOT own any of these stories, each story is owned by the author tagged next to the title and the summary is pulled verbatim from their page, in quotation marks. The only thing I own is gratitude towards these authors for sharing their work with us.
Also all stories are rated M 
Also, a loooot of stories have come out lately and I haven’t had a chance to get to a lot of them yet but i hope to soon so I’ll hopefully make another one of these soon, but yea pls know that I’m not purposefully ignoring or excluding anything or anyone.
Jin;
last christmas | ksj x reader - @xjoonchildx
“ summary: it was bound to happen, eventually. after months of near misses at barbecues and birthdays, there’s no avoiding your ex-husband at hoseok’s annual christmas bash. but it’s fine, totally fine, because you’re both adults – and you’ve both brought dates and booze. what could go wrong? “
This story was amazing! First of all, I love the comedy surrounding the entire situation, Hobi with his 8 trees and instigator Yoongi who also wants them to get their shit together for Hobi’s sake. I love all au’s but sometimes exes to lovers is difficult for me to side with because I don’t see how people can bounce back from so much hurt but in this story it felt very natural how they were able to find their way back together and I really enjoyed the insight to their relationship, especially near the end.
Yoongi;
CREAM & SUGA -  @snackhobi
“summary: yoongi is your favourite regular. he’s patient, polite, and predictable, a-large-black-coffee-to-go-please, no cream, no sugar, thank you. rinse and repeat. the seasons might change, but yoongi’s order stays the same.
and then one fateful day in winter, yoongi asks about the weekly specials, orders a cup of christmas and sugary sweetness, and everything starts changing.”
Ya’ll. Yoongi fics just truly hit different. The plot of this was so adorable and him going out of his way like that to keep her engaged was so cute and just very Yoongi like. I also just really loved the descriptions in this, like how oc described making the drinks, it just made everything seem so real.
universe | myg drabble - @personasintro
                           “❥𝒔𝒚𝒏𝒐𝒑𝒔𝒊𝒔; you’re his whole universe, you just don’t know it yet – or him” 
ASDFGHJKL! Like, I really have no words for the way this made me feel. Like, ik it’s not a super healthy dynamic but the thought of a fixated Yoongi is.. I loved reading Yoongi being so fixated with oc and doing everything i his capability to meet her. I also was v interested in the part where he bumped into her and she didn’t react the way he expected because it made me think about how he (or any character’s with his mindset) cope when the fantast and reality don’t match.
Hobi;
 A Holly, Jolly Crisis (M) -  @kpopfanfictrash
* Blog doesn’t allow copy/paste and I wanted to respect that*
This story made me feel so many things. Like there’s so many layers to it and both of their hurt, her visiting him and feeling betrayed while he felt pushed aside. This story was so complex and both characters had so many layers to them, but it’s still sooo well written and I was invested the entire time. Like, I genuinely can’t get my feelings out in a brief way so I’m looking forward to screaming about this in it’s own post.
Joonie;
 my only wish - knj | m - @ppersonna
“✹ summary- There are few things you hate most in this world. Hornets, unnecessary fruit pieces in otherwise perfectly good jello, certain shades of orange… But nothing takes the cake more than two simple things. Christmas. And Kim Namjoon. So why did you agree to pretend to be Kim Namjoon’s girlfriend at his family Christmas party? Bah-Humbug. “
UM! Absolutely adored this story, of course it would be a fellow cream suit enthusiast who can bring so much justice to dreamy Joon. I loved how he was portrayed here and getting insight to both his and oc’s feelings made me root for them soooo hard.
new parent syndrome - @1kook
“ SUMMARY You love Namjoon, honest. But you love your daughter Hyejoo even more— it’s not a controversial sentiment when you know he’s the same way! —and going back to a regular adult life sans kids absolutely sucks. (Or so you thought.)”
The tag “dreamy husband joon” is extremelyyyy accurate. This story was just so cute and their relationship truly felt so intimate and lovely. Her being on the phone with Jimin while Joon was smash SENT me but it was also so hot like ASDFGHJKL that man can do no wrong tbh.
  laundry day - @snackhobi
“summary: You’ve been letting your laundry pile up for a little too long. Fortunately, your neighbour Namjoon is there to lend you a hand. “
Pls this was so hot. Like, I’ve made it very clear thus far that I’m a total simp for Joon, the thought of that man going strawberry picking and thinking to grab some for oc genuinely makes me SWOON. He’s an actual heartthrob.
   The Sweet in Sweet Potato - @sahmfanficbts
“ Summary: You’ve been roommates for years. Now that you’re catching feelings, it’s time to run away. “
This entire series has had me so invested but this chapter!!! I’m always a sucker for Joon but the way he was so clearly in her feels (for OC) but wanting to respect her need for distance, what a man. And I was so happy to see oc working through her feeling towards Joon.
Last Christmas (M) - @jjungkookislife
* Blog doesn’t allow copy/paste and I wanted to respect that*
Damn, I really love when a misunderstanding is such a big catalyst for a bunch of drama/angst. It just really ups the tension for me because as the reader I know it was a misunderstanding but clearly the character’s don’t, so it just makes me really eager to see how they make amends. I really enjoyed seeing them slowly make amends and grow. Also the buildup to them deciding to give the relationship another go made the ending soooo satisfying.
Jimin;
 picking petals|pjm - @taestybae
“ summary ↣ you asked for a baby, so a baby is what you’re going to get. “
I really have no words for this, like it was so asaifgjhhkc. First of all, I really enjoyed that it was through his pov, i don’t typically read stories like that (I just don’t often come across them) but this still felt so natural that I didn’t even realize until right now, writing this comment. Also, the imagery was so well described and the anticipation built made this story so enjoyable.
Taehyung;
 Deepest Indulgence  - @scribblemetae
“ Description/Summary: The world is a mess, gangs, violence and rates of poverty are at an all time high since corporations took over everything. You built your Sex house to be a safe place and a sanctuary for those in need, promising to protect anybody who needs it. What happens when an extremely attractive and very rich man walks through the door begging for a job at Deepest Indulgence? The one sex house that wasn’t meant for men like himself. “
I AM SO EAGER FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER TO COME OUT. Like, idk how I can even describe this correctly but this just feel so much like Tae...???? Like idk if that makes sense but just Tae being this v sensual man, but there still being more to him than that, just makes so much sense and even the word “indulgence” is just so sensual and reminiscent of him. Also, the storyline so far is something I’ve personally never seen before and I’m super invested in this world and story already. Very eager to see how their relationship progresses.
 let it snow | kth - @suga-kookiemonster
* Blog doesn’t allow copy/paste and I wanted to respect that*
It’s the way I read this last night, it took me exactly an hour (3am to 4 am cause I’m a CLOWN), and I was so invested that I kept putting off sleep to finish it. Man, i’m a simp for this Tae (just like he is for oc lmao). I really enjoyed reading it and the mention of Jisoo earlier in the story had me on the edge of my seat the whole time wondering when things were gonna blow up. Everything was just so sweet and fluffy, and the confession really made me feel so soft for them both cause they both were so in their own heads and feelings they couldn’t see what was in front of them so I really enjoyed the confessions.
Jungkook;
Thank you, baby - @scribblemetae
“ Turns out the boy whos been stalking you for years has decided its about time he shows his face in the form of a picture, and decides its time to talk to you for real, in the form of a phone call. “
I genuinely don’t know how I can simp over this story in a short way but I’ll try my best. The characters are so complex and the storyline is twisted so many ways that make this so interesting to read and easy to become invested in. The way Jk is written, I understand why OC is lost on how to feel for him. Like, his actions are wrong, but actually meeting him and even seeing his though process, it’s hard to make him out to be the villian that his actions have categorized him as. I can’t wait to continue reading and write a full length comment about this!
FEED ME, FIGHT ME.  @yeojaa
“ What do you get when you mix a pissed off girlfriend with a neglectful boyfriend?  (Aside from trouble, that is.) “
I really enjoyed this, I love how aware of Jk and his boundaries the oc is and how she is cautious to walk the line and not push him too far while also letting him know how his actions make her feel. This just genuinely felt like a glimpse into a very real, very intimate relationship/moment and I loved that. I also just really love how this is written and I think you have a beautiful way with words. 
Chapstick - @softyoongiionly
“based on the time Jungkook said he needed someone to scold him so he’d remember to put lip balm on. Or Jungkook’s had a really long day and the only that can make it better, is seeing you. “
Idk if I’ve ever said it before, but I just love how you write relationships. Like, I can feel how comfortable they are with each other and how natural being together is for them. With your stories generally it just never feels forced and I really love that. I also really liked that we got Jk’s pov in the beginning, getting to see how tense he was really made me eager for their interactions and for him to feel comfortable and calm with her. Their interactions just felt so cute and natural and the end, assdjfhi, jk really deserves to be cherished and I loved seeing oc get him to the point of relaxation.
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blu-joons · 3 years
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DATING PENTAGON A⇴Z HEADCANON ⇴  Yeo Changgu
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A ⇴ AFFECTION 
Changgu loves to get cuddly with you, he enjoys being able to relax with his arms around you, even just for a few seconds, forgetting about how hectic his life is, means a lot to him, finding comfort in your touch.
B ⇴ BEFORE DATING 
When the two of you first met, Changgu was incredibly shy, Jinho ended up having to tell you his name because he was so quiet around you. Slowly though, as the two of you got to know each other a little better, those walls began to break down and the two of you got to know each other probably at work.
C ⇴ CONFESSION 
You’d forgotten how shy Changgu ever was when it came to his confession, he ended up rambling for what felt like forever in front of you, telling you exactly how he felt about you, making sure that he didn’t miss out a single detail. He ended up talking your ear off for most of the evening, eventually getting to his confession after almost an hour, surprised to see you still awake in front of him and nodding his head.
D ⇴ DATES 
Changgu enjoys being able to relax alongside you at the end of the day, curling up on his bed and watching a drama, or at least trying to get in a few episodes before one of you falls asleep. As mentioned earlier, being able to be around you and have your touch on him helps him to forget about his day and focuses his mind on the programme that the two of you are watching. It’ll usually end up being Changgu that falls asleep curled into you first, to which you always make sure to pause the drama, otherwise he’ll kill you in the morning.
E ⇴ EXPERIENCE 
He’s very open with you from the start about the concerns he has about your relationship, how he worries about you, the fans, and the group too, but never himself. Once he gets talking on his worries, whether its around you, his family, or the group, it’s another time when it’s pretty difficult to shut him up. He tends to waffle a lot, his mind turns into a vicious cycle, when one concern crops up for him, it’s not long until a few more arise and he really finds himself getting into a bit of a spin in front of whoever’s listening.
F ⇴ FIGHTING 
Anytime the two of you begin to argue with one another, the shy side of Changgu you knew when you first met comes out to play. It’s the one time you’ll find him quite opposite, and quiet, he’ll never quite know what to say out of fear of getting it wrong and ending up making the situation worse between the two of you. Arguing is one thing Changgu hates, more than anything in the world, he’ll often freeze in the situation and zone out. Then, once you’ve offloaded, as calmly as he can, he’ll try and work through whatever the issue was and try and talk with you like adults, without all the shouting.
G ⇴ GETTING TO KNOW HIS FAMILY 
The first person you met was Changgu’s older sister, which quickly turned into a decision Changgu regretted. From the moment you met, the two of you were a little tag team against him, sharing all your terrible stories and embarrassing memories you had of him, ignoring just how embarrassed it often made him in front of you.
H ⇴ HOME 
Changgu loved the dorm and having people around him all of the time, which you understood, especially as he had his own room too. You were in no rush to make him move out, in fact you enjoyed spending time with the other members too and getting to know some of the most important people in his life.
I ⇴ “I LOVE YOU” 
It became a habit of Changgu’s around you to ramble whenever he was talking about his feelings, so much so that he ended up accidentally telling you that he loved you on one specific occasion. He almost skipped by it, until you held your hand out for him to stop, asking him to repeat what he’d just said, making sure you heard him correctly.
J ⇴ JEALOUSY 
Whenever Changgu feels jealous, you’ll be able to tell by how quiet he becomes. He can talk to most people, and hold a conversation pretty well, so when you feel as if he’s starting to slip out of a conversation, you’ll know what’s wrong. It’s a steady decline, slowly feeling his confidence disappear and his shyness creep in, fearful as to what might happen. Luckily for him, by that point, you’ve usually picked up on what’s going on, stepping in and reassuring him before he disengages too heavily with what’s going on.
K ⇴ KIDS 
The future is another thing that Changgu will love to look forward to with you, he can’t help himself but get excited when he thinks about all the things you could do together in the future. And one of those things is definitely start a family, the thought of having a family has always excited Changgu but knowing that he now has you to dream about it with, makes him happier than he could ever explain to you.
L ⇴ LAUGHTER 
You can’t help but laugh at things that often come out of Changgu’s mouth, you’re not sure how one person can talk so much, and talk so much nonsense at the same time, but somehow Changgu manages. He’ll often end up having to stop talking to ask you what’s so funny, as you sit before him in fits of giggles, trying to make sense of what he’s said. Changgu himself is usually unaware of the things that he says but knowing that whatever it was that was said has ended up putting a smile on his face, will be more than enough for him, quickly picking back up where he left up on his one-sided conversation.
M ⇴ MISSING 
It’s easy for anyone to pick up on when Changgu’s missing you, because like when he’s jealous, he’ll become very quiet indeed. When he’s not laughing at a joke, or not chiming into conversation, the other members will know exactly what’s going on, instantly checking in on him and trying to bring the smile back to his face. They know it’s hard for him to constantly be the chatty one in the group when his mind can only think of you, and so they’ll always support him when he feels like he needs a bit of quiet, but as soon as he’s feeling better and ready to talk again, they’ll be there to listen, no matter how sometimes reluctant they are.
N ⇴ NICKNAMES 
You always call Changgu your ‘chatterbox,’ because he really doesn’t stop talking. You love how chatty he can be, around him, you’re guaranteed to pretty much never get a moment of peace and quiet to enjoy the silence.
O ⇴ OBSESSION 
He’s obsessed with your smile, knowing that you’re happy with him is the only thing that Changgu ever wants, anything else is simply just an added bonus.
P ⇴ PDA 
Keeping your safe is the only thing Changgu worries about whenever he’s affectionate with you in public. Whilst he can talk his way out of most situations, it’s not always the same for you, and so he’ll usually use his arms a little more to a clear a way for you both and make sure that you’re as relaxed as can be.
Q ⇴ QUESTIONS 
If Changgu is ever quiet around you, you’ll always make sure to ask him if he’s alright, concerned as to why he’s fallen so silent. That’s how uncharacteristic it is of him to be quiet, always making you worry just a little bit.
R ⇴ RANDOM FACTS 
Changgu loves to take photos of you, especially one where he knows you’re not paying attention. He’ll often pull out his phone when he notices you staring off into the distance, snapping a quick photo and making sure to save it to the album that is specifically dedicated to all of the candid photos he has of you, always looking through it whenever he’s missing you, especially so when he’s on the road.
S ⇴ SEX 
When the two of you are intimate, Changgu is always very attentive to what you want from him, and a great speaker too. Those rambles he often gives when he wants to tell you how he feels will turn into quieter whispers of sweet nothings in your ear, making sure that you’re always shy. He’s always open with his heart, especially so when the two of you are intimate, making sure you feel as loved as you possibly can.
T ⇴ TEXTS 
After every mealtime, you sit by your phone and wait for the text to come through from Changgu to make sure that you’re eating. It’s his biggest worry, making sure that you’re taking care of yourself, so he’ll always check in.
U ⇴ UNIVERSE 
Having someone there to always listen, whether it’s good or bad, funny or emotional, means a lot to Changgu. He knows he can talk most people’s ears off, and yet you’ll always listen to his every word and pay him your full attention.
V ⇴ VACATION 
Anywhere in the world you want to go, Changgu will take you when the two of you get the chance to go away. He’s been to enough places through tours and schedules, he much prefers to give you the chance to tick somewhere off your bucket list, no matter how much you argue that it might be somewhere he’s been before.
W ⇴ WHINING 
It’s almost natural of Changgu to whine when he’s talking to you about something frustrating, he almost doesn’t realise he’s doing it most of the time.  
X ⇴ XXXXX 
The place he’ll love to kiss the most is always the top of your head; he loves being able to rest on top of you and press you tightly against his chest. For you, you’ll normally find yourself having to kiss against his lips, just so you can get a moment of silence to yourself. A kiss on the lips is a sign that Changgu can very quickly pick up on, muttering a quick apology before finally telling himself to stop talking for a while.
Y ⇴ YOU 
You were a great listener, somehow you always paid attention to every single word.
Z ⇴ ZZZ 
The quiet you got at night-time was always well received, although you would often end up falling asleep listening to Changgu mutter to himself about anything that came to mind, knowing you probably switched off long ago.
---
Masterlist
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lyranova · 3 years
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Heyo my sunshine! Okay okay I love taking inspiration from people and today it so happened to be Lei :0 and I was wondering if you could write Zora x Nebra meeting Ace and Josslyn would be pretty bizarre considering they barely know each other <3
Children of the Future:
Chapter 4: Ace and Josslyn
Of course mickey! I like this idea a lot and am starting to think about doing it with other characters as well hehe. But I hope this is good and that you like it and I’m sorry if it isn’t 😅. Love you lots hun 💗! Also, letting everyone know, Josslyn and Ace belong to @crazyclownthanos (go check out mickey’s White Clover series its so good 😱💕!)
Edit: Here’s chapter 4 guys I hope you all enjoy~!
Taglist: @eme-eleff @talpup (i tagged you since Zora is your adopted son hehe)
Word count: 1,625
Warnings: None
——
Julius couldn’t understand what was going on as he stared at the pink and red haired children in front of him. First, Hikari Sukehiro, a child from the future shows up, and now these two? He frowned considerably before calling Marx into the room.
“ Yes sir?” Marx stood in the doorway and waited for Julius’s command, he heard the Wizard King sigh and shake his head.
“ I need you to call Yami and Nozel here, and tell them to bring Zora and Nebra with them please.” He told him as he leaned back in his chair, Marx nodded and walked out of the room. Julius watched as the children said nothing, the young boy looked very nervous while the young woman looked nothing but calm. If she was as nervous as her brother she didn’t show it one bit.
Julius had to admit, he was curious as to how two almost complete strangers would react to finding out they had children together.
——
Yami grumbled as he walked into Julius’s office, he was finding it very odd to be living with Charlotte. They were having to get used to each other's quirks and mannerisms. It was made even more difficult with Hikari since they had to learn her’s as well, while also trying to get her back to her own time. It was a pain in the ass if Yami were being honest, but he was finding it quite enjoyable waking up and seeing the two of them there.
“ Hey Captain, you alright?” Zora asked curiously, he had wondered why the Wizard King wanted to see him personally, it wasn’t everyday that sort of stuff happened. Yami nodded.
“ I’m fine, just thinking.” He muttered as he scratched the back of his head. Zora smirked and tilted his head.
“ Ah, thinking about the Mrs. and the kid huh?” He laughed, but that laughter died in his throat as Yami turned to glare harshly at the red head.
“ How about you keep your trap shut? Besides, Charlotte isn’t my ‘mrs’.” He turned and walked away, Zora nodded and followed behind.
“ I bet you are starting to want her to be.” He muttered under his breath before they walked into the Wizard Kings office.
Zora wasn’t very nervous at first, he wasn’t as intimidated by the Wizard King like most people were. He respected him, but he didn’t really see why so many people were afraid of him. He noticed white move out of the corner of his eye and he turned and rolled his eyes at the sight.
It was the Captain of the Silver Eagles Nozel Silva, and his sister Nebra. What the hell were they doing here? He clenched his teeth and glared at the royals, who didn’t seem to even acknowledge his presence. He and Yami walked up to the Wizard Kings desk and stood in front of it.
“ What is it Julius? If it has to do with Hikari shouldn’t Charlotte be here too?” He asked before crossing his arms, Julius shook his head and held up a hand.
“ Ah no this doesn’t have anything to do with Hikari, at least, not directly.” Yami frowned before Julius continued and looked at both Captains. “ I’ll need you both to leave for now,” he held up a hand to silence their protests. “ You’ll both find out about it later, but for now just go into Marx’s office while I speak with Zora and Nebra please.” He asked with a warm smile, both Captains nodded begrudgingly before doing as they were ordered.
“ Now, I asked your Captains to bring you both here for a reason, now this is going to be a little hard to understand but-.” Julius paused before two pink haired children walked into the room.
“ Mom! Dad!” The little boy yelled before attempting to rush forward, but the girl grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him back before wrapping an arm around him.
“ That isn’t mom and dad Ace!” The girl hissed before turning her attention to the others. Zora and Nebra blinked...mom?...dad?. Wait who were they talking about? The only people in the room they could be referring too was…
“ What the hell?!” Both Nebra and Zora shouted before turning to Julius, their eyes wide and disbelieving.
“ There has to be a mistake! There’s no way those two can be our children!” Nebra shouted, Julius kept his warm smile on his face at her outburst.
“ Wow you figured it out quickly! I’m impressed.” He laughed before Zora walked over and slammed his hand on the desk.
“ Of course we did! We’re not stupid, besides they have pink hair which is kind of a dead giveaway.” Zora growled before he and Nebra glared at each other.
“ I don’t understand how they can be our children! It makes zero sense!” She exclaimed, the kids just stood there and watched as their ‘parents’ were in almost complete denial.
“ The princess is right, I don't understand how they’re our kids. We barely even know each other!” Zora frowned as Julius nodded his head in agreement.
“ I can understand your shock, but stranger things have happened.” Julius shrugged and watched as the two continued glaring.
“ Heh, I would never fall for someone as brash and vulgar as someone like him. Let alone a commoner.” Nebra told them with her nose slightly in the air, Zora laughed.
“ Yeah and like I would ever fall in love with some as stuck up and snotty like you! Let alone a royal.” Zora told her coldly, suddenly a sniffle was heard and everyone turned to see the young boy, whom the girl called Ace, crying and wiping his face with his sleeve.
“ Gee thanks now you’ve made my brother cry with your arguing.” The girl glared before she gently bent down and tried to comfort him. Zora and Nebra’s eyes softened slightly in regret, they hadn’t meant to upset him.
“ Anyway, all we need is for you to help us get home. Then we’ll be out of your hair.” The girl said icly as she stood up straight and looked past her ‘parents’ and at Julius.
“ I’m afraid I can’t do that,” he laughed sheepishly. “ You see; you’re not the first ones to come here, there's another girl named Hikari who traveled here from the future as well and I haven’t been able to send her back either.” He said with another laugh.
“ Hikari’s here too?!” The pink haired girl exclaimed in excitement, apparently, the two girls knew each other. Julius nodded before his face went serious.
“ Yes. Right now I’m investigating why this is happening, and until I can complete my investigation, I think it would be best if you four all lived together-.” Julius tried to explain before being cut off.
“ No!” Zora, Nebra, and the young girl shouted. Ace jumped before clutching onto his sister's leg tightly.
“ I don’t need their or your help! I’ll find my own way home and protect my brother while I’m at it. I don’t need you.” The girl declared before turning. Zora sighed, as much as he hated to admit it, the Wizard King was right. Until they figured out who was sending children from the future back into the past, it would be better if everyone from the same family stuck together.
“ Listen brat, I understand you don’t want anyone telling you what to do but he’s right, it's the safest option right now.” Zora crossed his arms and noticed the girls eyes continued to look at him in distrust.
“ What? You think you can protect Ace better than I can?” The girl growled before Nebra stepped forward.
“ No, that isn’t what we’re saying.” She sighed, apparently she had come to the same realization as Julius and Zora had, this was really their best option. They couldn’t let two kids go wandering around in a world they knew little to nothing about, it was dangerous to do that. “ We’re saying it’s safer for you both, think about it; neither of you know what time you're in, or where you are, or where anything is. So wouldn’t it be better if you were with people who did know all those things?”
The girl bit her bottom lip and looked down at Ace in thought, she knew what he wanted to do, but she didn’t know if she could trust these versions of her parents. They seemed to strongly dislike each other, and seemed to constantly argue, which hadn’t changed much even after they were married. But it was still jarring. She watched Ace look up at her with pleading eyes, he was begging her to go with them. She sighed before nodding.
“ Fine. We’ll stay with you two.” She grumbled, Ace squealed in delight before wrapping his big sister in a hug. Soft ‘thank you’s’ could be heard by the others.
“ Great! Now I’ll find you all a place to stay that's close enough to your bases.” Julius announced before looking at the paperwork on his desk. Zora and Nebra glared at each other again, neither one wanted to live together, but they didn’t have a choice now. Zora turned to the girl again, a curious frown on his face.
“ Hey kid, what’s your name?” He asked and watched the girl look surprised for a moment before she held her head high and a smirk appeared on her face.
“ Josslyn.” She announced proudly, he laughed softly before a smirk appeared on his face as well.
“ Nice to meet you, Josslyn.”
——-
Sorry it falls apart at the end 😅. But i hope this was good and that I portrayed Josslyn and Ace correctly Mickey 🥺💕! I hope you all liked it though. Thanks for reading and I hope you all have a good day~!
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catholicdaredevil · 2 years
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if your pronouns are they/them what are you transitioning too?
ok i am gonna answer this based off a couple assumptions and if im wrong feel free to correct me
number one being that this is about me tagging that post "i am litcherally trans"
and two that you are operating under an outdated idea that being trans as a label is only for people who are actively transitioning/have fully transitioned
so here goes:
being trans is an umbrella term that encompasses anyone who isn't cis!
this means trans women, trans men, non binary people, genderfluid people and so on
and while there's people from every one of those groups who may choose to socially or medically transition it's not required of anyone in order to truly be trans
not to mention for people outside of being men or women (and even within those) transitioning can mean lots of different things
some women like having a dick and they don't have to get rid of it or act like they don't in order to be a woman and the opposite goes and so on and so forth
it's just really important to remember that peoples id's as trans and their journeys or pathways thru being trans are incredibly unique and no two people have the same or the same thoughts about themselves or gender
i think one of the biggest things that helps to grasp that is coming to terms with the idea that parts are not gender
penis is not boy
vagina is not girl
this means that the physical and literal act of "transitioning" is not necessary for being trans
whether its because it can be expensive, or unsafe depending on your living situation or area (or even in general; trans women are at an incredibly disproportionate rate of being murdered), or personal preference/ideas/concepts of gender
gender can mean different things to different people
like i said some women like having a dick and for other women they dont and each is feminine and each is a woman they just have different ideas of what being feminine looks and feels like to them
anyways on the subject of me personally and my identity in its ties to my gender
i am not a woman, and i dont like being called or referred to like one. i am also not a man, but i dont mind being called or referred to like one.
i like different things and expressions that are frequently considered to be gendered on both sides (ie. getting my nails done, working on my car)
i personally when i get dressed up in a feminine sense it feels like a performance or like dress up and it's fun and i do enjoy presenting femininely at times for that
but in my everyday i tend to present more masculinely as i feel it aligns with who i am and how i express myself as a baseline
i feel the most aligned with a term i call "gender chaos" my all time goal in terms of gender expression is to be someone who's difficult to nail down gender wise i want strangers on the street who just give me a passing glance to be confused lfmdkd it sounds like a joke and it is funny to me but also i am serious
so my pronouns are in my bio because on this hellsite i would like people who are talking to or about me to gender me correctly so i put them there for yall to see and if you wanna chose not to use them or respect them thats fine im just gonna block you cause while i dont care because no one elses opinion on my gender matters to me i also am not gonna put up with it so big ole blockerooni right there
anyways i hope this answers your question and if not feel free to ask another i personally dont mind spending time discussing and answering questions about my gender but keep in mind not everyone has the time or emotional energy to do that all the time and trans people do not owe you explanation or education!!
all the love,
ezra
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mallowstep · 3 years
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I’m thinking about writing a short OC piece about Windclan and I’d love to see your notes about its culture and the hymns you’ve written so far, everything you’ve done for Windclan appreciation month has really inspired me :)
hello anon!
alright, first things first: please send me ur piece when ur done if you're comfortable doing so! i will publish it from you, or if you don't want to be associated with it in Any Way, i will also just read it and add it to the queue with no indication why it's there. or if you don't want me to share it at all, i'd still like to read it.
as for your ask,
hymns?
i'm working on it. however, underneath the read more, i'll include a few snippets for u.
culture
alright, i'm just going to post links with some commentary as i go. feel free to ask any more questions you have.
windclan (search) | windclan (tag) | wcam tag | five clans (narrative essays)
i would link the elders den, but there's no windclan stories in there ATM.
moving on, i'm just going to go through posts in reverse chronological order.
tallstar taking a mate admittedly, this is more about cats and sexuality than windclan, but i provide the commentary that windclan...has a particular view on sexuality and fluidity. one thing i haven't explored but should is the role visiting cats have in windclan.
whoops that's a code word, my plug for solacefruit has been activated. okay, as you may be aware, based on the fact that i have a whole tag for it, i'm obsessed with solacefruit. now, i love everything they do, but i would like to point you particularly to "make a mighty sound" for a fantastic exploration of this idea.
i don't want to spoil anything, but i do think windclan, and maybe cats as a whole, but windclan has a certain view towards relationships that very much breaks them into pieces. i'm a "love is a verb" person, so the idea that you can grow to love someone romantically by going through the actions of love makes sense. not to say you will, but you can.
(to be clear i'm not out advocating for arranged marriages just saying that they can work, they're not destined to be bad, and there's a difference between forced marriage and arranged marriage.)
anyway.
this was a lot of words to say, cats do not have a human (and particularly, western/american) understanding of relationships, which makes analyzing them in those terms difficult.
early hymn talk i'll probably say more below, but it is here.
general ibtwicm notes might get you into the headspace for some of my choices in ibtwicm.
i don't have a ton to say because this pretty much all holds, but uh, yeah.
poetry and language this isn't strictly about windclan, but it does explain some of what i think about when writing hymns.
obviously, i'm writing english translations, but these general themes are what i have in mind. it's also part of why i say i don't think i'll ever release a "full hymnal" for windclan, because i don't know if my weak worldbuilding heart could take it if i only had translations.
names part two very much not about windclan, but just some thoughts on names. as i've said before, i support all names and worldbuilding equally, but if you want my thoughts on names, go buckwild.
clan culture fic rec list just stuff i think does a good job, if you want other sources of inspiration.
general clan culture notes this is really old, but it mostly holds.
i've obviously expanded a lot on windclan since i wrote it, so shrug? idk man.
alright, i'm going to move into hymn discussion below the cut, but best of luck! and i hope u have a good time. it makes my brain shut down to read that i inspired you, straight up got brain juice pouring out of my ears, but i'm really, really happy to hear that.
windclan holds a special place in my heart. (i know my oc avatar is from skyclan shhh it's because of the backstory he sees ghosts.) but i grew up in this super sporty household as a lil asthmatic klutz, and running was a sport i couldn't mess up, so of course windclan appealed to me.
they're actually third on my list of favorite clans, but they. it's a special place in my heart that they hold, especially after reading dawn of the clans and moth flight's vision, where i got an asthmatic cat and an adhd cat, both in windclan.
god i should reread dotc it's good.
alright, here's the deal on hymns: i am not going to fight to get duets to post correctly. there's a 0% chance i can in tumblr's wonky ass new editor with no markdown, not to mention how difficult it would have been in the old editor. so i'm going to talk a lil about what i've got, and post some stanzas that i think don't get explored a lot in ibtwicm.
we're discussing these in the order that they go in. a reminder that these are all sections of one epic poem. that said, i don't know where the gaps are. like, i don't know what's between these, if that makes sense.
the wind
the wind, the very first hymn. this is an ode to, well, windclan. it's a song about everything that makes them them. it's filled with poetry about the wind, about the seasons, and it's just...well, it's a bit of a genesis, in a way.
The wind — like the rain, like the river — calls the name of each star in its breath. The wind — like the earth, like the stone — anchors us to our home. The wind — like the sun, like the sky — is knowable only by name.
i wanted to share this stanza because the last line doesn't show up in ibtwicm (at least so far, i cut the reference), and it really, really, makes a difference imo.
anyway, windclan is basically tying the wind in with every other fundamental part of their life here.
they are the wind, and that's that.
the hare
okay, this one has a line that comes up a lot in ch1, but i already talked about that, so instead, i'm going to talk about this stanza
Speak of the earth and the dens, and you will be answered: By the call of the howling gales, the open earth singing in response. But speak of that which grows above, of the grass and field, And you will be answered by the softness of the buds and the roots.
okay, we get deadfoot thinking about this when he's talking to yellowfang.
i like this stanza because it really tells us what the hare is about. now, hares are not something windclan catches. hares are huge, y'all, there's no way they take one down. i take liberties with ecology, but not that many.
(i.e., a team of cats definitely could take one down, but i know too much, and would prefer letting team hunting stay a plot thing, and not fundamentally alter the environment in the way it would.)
now anyway, all of these hymns come from the time of the tunnelers. and the point of this is, even though the work of tunnelers and moor runners is disconnected, they fundamentally affect each other.
a moor runner must trust the hollows of the earth beneath them won't collapse, and a tunneler must trust that the prey they chase up will be caught.
it's all very symbiotic and is, well, in a way, a love poem. plus i really like the line "the open earth singing in response"
of the warrens
so this has one line, one you might not even know is a hymn, in ch1, but i'll share the whole stanza.
And as for the subject of fallow fields: Fallowed fields make for hungry prey, Yet hungry prey makes desperate rabbits, Who leap into our claws.
and ig my big point is, the hymns are a cultural artifact. just like many of the rules in the old testament have to do with hygiene things being codified into religion, this whole hymn is about hunting advice.
the moon on the river
okay, out of all the hymns, this is the most complete, and because ashfoot and deadfoot sing it together, and deadfoot discusses it, i only have one stanza to share.
Under the coldness, you shine back at me, And I do everything to keep the clouds from threatening you.
now, this poem is about love, grief, and being separated. it's a particular kind of grief, and windclan discourages grief, so this is one of only a few ways to really, fully express it.
and this section, in particular, is about love in times of hardship.
i don't have. a lot to say here. but the way hardship changes how you love someone can be particular and intense.
(temporarily, this happens sometime before "Spare for my chosen few / All I have is given towards the distant ground.")
the gorse in the wind
oh shit! i have so fucking much to say okay first.
the series title does not come from this hymn.
second, this is a challenging hymn okay. fuck. i have so much to say. where to start so! moors are actually relatively wet. think british countryside, not, like, a cool desert.
this is something i always knew? i read the secret garden a lot as a kid. but. i've seen stuff about moors being dry, and it's just one of those things that really...starts to eat under your skin. anyway.
okay, so. gorse is a dry plant. it does not like rain. it grows in sandy soil, etc etc, and yet. aside from everything we know about gorse and warriors, it also grows in this moor. because i say so.
okay, so. so so so. the lines quotes here are really deceptive, and i bet no one understood why, and that makes me just a little sad, but i couldn't find a good way to explain it in text, so uh, yeah, anyway. there's an exchange between ashfoot and deadfoot: "THE GORSE: You called me the heather and I grew stronger. / THE WIND: I called you the heather and brought rain for you to grow."
so...so do you see? do you see the point? it's about communication, needs, challenging each other. fadskj;l i love this. okay, so. the point is that heather is fragile, soft, pretty, and gorse is the opposite. the part of the wind is trying to be kind and complimentary, but the gorse is saying, fuck that, you are not being kind to me by undercutting my strength.
anyway, this passage is sung by the gorse:
In what good company have I set down roots, That even through snow fall I flower. You called me the heather and yet I've weathered, Far more than your sweet-named love.
so uh, yeah, this adds context. gorse! gorse is a hardy plant that continues to flower basically all season round. it's cool. it's cool. gorse is super cool. fuuuck y'all it's such a small thing and i've contained talking about it until now, but now it's too much. the floodgates are open, and i thought about this small detail too much.
okay. deep breath. gorse is a really easy plant to grow, but it's still adapted for dry environments. so the "even through snow fall I flower" part is a little tongue in cheek: gorse itself will flower in the cold, but snow is a type of precipitation, which as we've covered, is not gorse friendly.
then we have some rhyming and puns in the next line, and finally, "yet I've weathered, / Far more than your sweet-named love." like. yes. love as a form of softness is not necessarily helpful.
i mean, consider the damaging "soft trans boi" problem. same energy.
right. okay. so we've got all that? now if you remember, this is sung when deadfoot thinks ashpaw doesn't respect him, and ashpaw says she'll sing with him if she can sing the gorse, so in essence, she's telling him...not to back off, per se, but that...she is the "hard part" of the relationship. like, okay, i refuse to even bring up gender roles in human relationships, but uh, her point is very much, "i am the gorse, and you are the wind," and it's a very monumental moment.
it's anchored, i believe, in the other scenes, but this is a small thing that matters a lot to me.
like a lot.
okay, now that i've talked about like four lines for the length of this entire post, moving on.
the heather and earth
okay, this is the last hymn i have in concrete terms, and i cut a bit of it from the latest chapter, so yeah. it's also, uh, okay everything i have for it is only a line or two, but i wanted to share this closing line (sung together):
Sing a song of forgiveness, of growing together, and we will make madness, And madness from hence will everything beautiful grow.
and i just like these lines. they got cut, it was initially part of an exchange between ashfoot and deadfoot, but i can't share the part of it they talk about, because i'm reusing it for a later chapter and i'll 100% spoil shit if i try to talk about it.
but these lines? mmm they speak to me.
i don't have a ton to say about them, but i just. i like it.
if we apply the same ecology discussion from the gorse and the wind, we see heather is a plant that grows in acidic, infertile soil, and heath (which is not the same as a heather, but also kind of is) is a defining quality of heathland, which is...i'm not kidding, it's hot discourse about the difference between moorland and heathland.
i'm not getting involved, but my point is, if the gorse in the wind is a hymn about finding a working relationship, about mutual respect, etc., then the heather and earth is a hymn about working well together in a terrible situation.
god.
uh, wow! can you tell i like plants? because while parts of my ecology are dubious (see: everything regarding the rabbits in ch1), the plants part are well thought out. this shit is carefully detailed metaphor.
and that's why i won't be releasing a full hymnal. it's hard to as on top of this as i want to be. i'm not kidding, writing even four lines of a hymn usually takes me about twenty minutes, because i pull up a lot of research about how things work, how they interact with each other, etc., and then there's wordsmithing, cat worldview filter, etc.
but i hope this overview of what i've got is a good insight into my general thoughts. and i will eventually release more and more of the hymns i've got written.
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