#I’m not all that important/influential but I like doing what I love in my own space

[aj-thegreatest]

I hate to bother you about it again, but Kururu said if you really wanted to come back he’d be willing to talk! So there is a chance 😭

Anon, I’m really flattered but I’m honestly ok! I’m happy with where I am and what I’m doing art/writing wise. I just thinking it’d be harder for me to go back. I’m sure the verse is doing fine without me!

#I’m a small fish in a big big pond #I’m not all that important/influential but I like doing what I love in my own space #besides I can’t abandon my kiddos like that they need food and water- #hushed mutters

[kangnina]

MDNI - Naïve!Jungwon 11 - Now Playing Secrets by Monsta X

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6|Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10

You talked Jungwon into ditching his glasses and letting you style him for the engineering gala. “Noona, I think you overdid it. People are going to assume I’m a nepo baby playboy not a broke collegiate intern,” he says, assessing his reflection in the window behind your dining table. 

“You're welcome, Sexy,” you say, winking at him. Jungwon is not entirely wrong. His dark hair is sleek, a few strands over his forehead. Toned chest peeking out of his black suit jacket and of course his big brown eyes always beautifully shine. It took every fiber of your being not to pull the car over and fuck him on the drive. You're currently still fighting the urge to blow him under the stairwell. When Jungwon first told you he wanted you to come to the gala with him, you thought it would be a bunch of boring old, bald CEOs and their plastic wives, all patting themselves on the back for throwing money around. But it’s actually been a lot of fun, meeting some super smart and influential people your own age. The Future of Engineering. You wander off to go find the restroom. But when you return, you see a petite blonde in a red dress, standing way too close to Jungwon. The way she’s looking at him makes you want to murder her on the spot. Jungwon, on the other hand, looks like he wants to jump out of the window behind him. He’s scanning the crowd, nervously looking for you while she continues to talk to him. It’s obvious your boyfriend needs saving. So you swoop in by his side, wrapping your arm around his arm. Blondie rolls her eyes. 

“This is my girlfr–" Jungwon starts but she waves off the introduction. 

“I’m sure she loves your thick cock. But does she really love you like I do, Kitten?” she asks. 

“What the fuck did you just say bitch?!” you take a step toward her, but Jungwon steps in front of you. You’ve never actually seen him angry before. He crosses his arms, giving Blondie a death glare; venom dripping from his every word.

“Do not ever talk to us again. Or you will regret it. I swear I will make your life a living hell.” She steps back and clutches her chest, feigning shock. 

“Ouch, Kitten. That really hurts my feelings,” she smiles, caterwauling at Jungwon. 

“I said FUCK OFF.” He raises his voice slightly and even you are a little scared as he takes another step towards her. Her smile drops as she looks between you and Jungwon. 

“Fine. He’s all yours, princess. He wouldn’t even fuck me,” she says walking away. “But I loved fucking him.” Blondie winks at Jungwon before disappearing into the crowd. Jungwon squeezes his eyes shut and runs his hands down his face before he turns to look at you regretfully. 

“Who the fuck was that Jungwon?!” Your teeth are clenched, fists balled up. Your heart rate is through the roof. Tears are imminent.

“No one important, baby. I swear,” he says softly, reaching out to you. 

“Wrong answer. Find a ride back to your dorm. I can’t even look at you right now,” you say before turning and leaving.

🥺🥺🥺🥺

Three days pass before you respond to Jungwon’s texts and calls. Your anger had been replaced with jealousy more than anything. Of course that bitch was trying to piss you off. It was clear that she didn’t like seeing you with Jungwon. But the way she said what she said made you curious about what he wasn’t telling you. He answered your call on the first ring. He was sweaty, glasses askew and out of breath on your doorstep within minutes. You both sit on opposite ends of the couch. 

“Who is she?”

“She’s an engineering major like me. She was my mentor. But I assumed she transferred because I hadn’t seen her for months before I met you. We never dated–”

“Jungwon, you didn’t fuck her but she fucked you?” you stare at him. He adjusts his glasses and clears his throat, looking everywhere but at you.

“Mmhmm” he mumbles quietly. 

“Jungwon, answer me,” you snap. He closes his eyes and huffs.

“She pegged me. Twice,” he just blurts it all out in one long breath. “She really got off on trying to make me her bitch. Calling me her ‘Kitten.’ I told her I don’t like hookups. But I didn’t want to be her boyfriend either because she’s crazy. Possessive. She got pissed because I wouldn't give her what she wanted. I had to avoid her which was damn near impossible because she was my mentor. I was so stupid. It was a nightmare but then she suddenly disappeared. I was so happy. I never brought it up because I never thought I would see her again. I DO NOT WANT HER NOONA! Please believe me–” he whines.

You hold up your hand to silence him. He looks at you with boba eyes, trying to gauge your reaction to this revelation. So she's been with him in a way that you haven't... yet. You’re imagining Jungwon being dominated by you. Pliant. Soft whimpers as he begs for release. Only you should get to make him your bitch. Your Kitten. You are his bad girl after all. Jungwon can see the wheels turning in your head. He knows your “dirty thoughts” face all too well at this point; the distant look as you bite your lip, a hint of mischievous smirk. 

“HEY! Don’t get any crazy ideas!” he reaches over to grab your chin, pulling you back to reality.

“What?” you smile coyly. He narrows his eyes. You let out a sigh. “I know you don’t want her. But you did tell me many have tried.” Jungwon frowns, moving closer to you to hold your hand. 

“I’ll tell you whatever you want to know but I need you to understand that none of it matters. I’m with you now. I only want to focus on us. I want us to be happy,” he kisses your hand. 

“I understand, Wonie,” you smile, feeling butterflies in your stomach.

“Good. But since I’m all yours, you’ll have to protect me. My adorably submissive virgin aura makes older kinky girls want to hunt me down and ruin me,” he cutely tilts head while poking out his bottom lip. You snort.

“Are you really mocking me right now? That’s too accurate. The glasses and the dimples. Big beautiful brown eyes. The cute pouting that you're totally doing right now. IT'S A TRAP. But I guess I have to fuck you and make you cry,” you straddle his lap, grinding against his cock.

“Down girl.” Jungwon smacks your bare thigh, just below your jean shorts. Hard. You yelp and try to rub away the sting.

“Ouch! But when this genre of Jungwon comes out to play, I want him to fuck me so hard, he makes me cry,” you bite your lip and Jungwon raises an eyebrow at you. 

“Noona? Baby, do we have to cry?” You laugh but he does not. He sincerely wants to know.

“Are you saying you haven’t ever been fucked so good, it makes you cry?” You ask him, starting to grind on him again. Jungwon pauses to think. Then he smiles. “No but I’ll try anything at least once for you baby.”

Naïve!Jungwon 12

------------------

@nyfwyeonjun @maymarrylhs @nyxtwixx @wildflowermooon @ilabjungwon @enha-ism @belowbun @emikotakayami @snoopypupp @moonlightndaydreams @daydreams-after-dark

#enhypen #jungwon #enhypen smut #kpop imagines #kpop smut #yang jungwon #enhypen jungwon #jungwon enhypen #enhypen au #enhypen scenarios #enha #enhypen hard hours #enhypen x reader #enhypen yang jungwon #yang jungwon imagines #yang jungwon x reader #yang jungwon scenarios #yang jungwon enhypen #jungwon x reader #jungwon smut #jungwon scenarios #enha scenarios #enha imagines #enha x reader #enha yang jungwon #enhypen imagines #enhypen hard thoughts #enha hard thoughts #enha hard hours #jungwon hard thoughts

[horangare]

Heyy!!! Just saw that your requests are open... Can I please request a fic?

Something like slow burn (nsfw) arranged marriage with Dino...

(You don't have to do it if you're not comfortable ♡)

Btw, love your fics a lot!! 💖❤️💕✨💞

for the good of the kingdom (and the good of my heart)

pairing : prince!dino x princess!reader

content : angst, fluff, smut (more towards the end, mdni), modern-ish royalty au (sorry but i cannot keep up with that old formal talk), slowburn

in which : where there is a winner, there is always a loser. your country losing the great war was the worst thing that could’ve happened, at least that’s what you thought before you learned you were going to have to marry the prince of the one nation that still kept its alliance with yours.

warnings : dino is totally in love but y/n is totally stubborn, y/n has some personal issues, itzy is mentioned to work for your family, arguments and misunderstandings, fingering, oral (m receiving), handjobs, unprotected sex (be safe), doggy style, creampies, praise, dirty talk, declarations of love during sex, a poor description of a wedding (probably, idk)

wc : 12.3K words

note : aaah omg my first request i’m so excited 😆 also i’m so happy you enjoy my fics, that means so much to me 🥹🩷 (also, i’m sorry this took me a lil minute, this is my time writing slowburn 😭😭)

“I am not marrying him!”

Ever since you were little, the Kingdom of Sokoto has always been the best. The most prosperous, the most powerful, the most influential, all of it. At the mere mention of the name “Sokoto,” people trembled. Hell, just being in the presence of someone from your family or even your court would have the most refined commoner on edge. Needless to say, you were important, and you knew it.

If only it wasn’t for that damned war.

To be fair, the Kingdom of Sokoto hadn’t risen to the top by being kind and loving. Many of the past rulers had been cold and self-serving, but never to the extent that the current ruling family, your family, had been. That was exactly what caused problems back then, and it was exactly what caused problems now.

This had all started in the Kingdom of Hisia, when your father broke a decade long alliance with their people. In his words, Hisia was an “acceptable loss,” because as a kingdom they were too soft-hearted to do anything about it. The only problem about Hisia’s people (other than being too soft-hearted) is that they were notorious gossips. When the common folk got word of this news, they told anyone and everyone who would listen. And soon, almost every kingdom in the nation knew what had happened. From Ilorus to Umbris to Kano, everyone was scrambling to break their alliances with Sokoto. Well, almost everyone.

Of course, the problem didn’t stop with your allies just leaving. No no, leaving wasn’t enough. Sokoto had reigned far too powerful for far too long. Too many things had gone overlooked. Too many injustices unpunished. Apparently, they all had their own personal grievances against the kingdom that had just been waiting to be brought to light. So how exactly did they decide to let you know that? Declaring a war, obviously.

And of course your parents were too stubborn to back down. Sokoto had never lost, never ran away from any sort of threat, never surrendered. After all, there was never a problem this kingdom couldn’t handle, with or without support from the other kingdoms. There wasn’t any need for them anyway. Your army was the most feared and well trained in all the land.

Your army alone, however, hadn’t been enough. Not in the first year of the war. Not in the second. Not in the third. When your father realized that he couldn’t continue on like this, sending the few remaining poor young men of your country to fight a losing battle, watching the rest of his people suffer, he knew had to do the one thing nobody in your family had ever done: he had to surrender.

And now that it had ended, things couldn’t be worse. Sokoto had drastically fallen in status, going from the most revered kingdom to the most despised. Oh, and the gossip never stopped, not even after things had been settled. You heard what they said about your family, every rumor, every exaggeration. You couldn’t stand them.

The only thing that remained the same after the war was your family’s relationship with the Kingdom of Kasmira. The only ones who hadn’t abandoned or betrayed you, even after the initial shock with the Hisians, even after the other kingdoms had broken their alliances, and even after the war. Nobody knew why the Kasmiran royal family still bothered to keep connections with you, but you think you were getting a few ideas.

“[Y/n], I know this is sudden,” Your father said, his arms crossed over his chest. “But given the state of the kingdom, your mother and I have both agreed that a marriage between you and Prince Dino is a good thing for the kingdom.”

“What about what I’ve agreed on, Father?” You argued. “Really…as if losing that war wasn’t enough of an embarrassment.”

Your mother stood up and took a step towards you, pointing a finger in your face. “We do not speak of the war, young lady.” When you backed away, she sighed, and placed her hands on both your shoulders. “Don’t worry. You will have plenty of time to get to know him. Prince Dino is a nice boy. I’m sure the two of you will do good things for both of the Kingdoms.”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, but for now you chose to bite your tongue. There was a lot you could say, a lot you wanted to say, but it wouldn’t do you any good to argue with your parents when the decision had already been made for you.

So you were getting married. Lucky you.

The day you got the news of your sudden engagement, you went back to your room and didn’t come out for the rest of the day. Really, who did your parents think they were, making such decisions on your behalf? And then saying that you’ll “grow to like it,” was just the icing on the cake. Who were they to speak for you? Who were they to decide who you would marry? God, you hated this family.

Come sunrise the next day, you lied in bed silently and stared at the ceiling. When you were bored of the ceiling, you stared at the wall. And when you were birds if the wall, you stared at the window. No, not out of the window, at the window. There was nothing to look at, anyway.

“Good morning, [Y/n],” The voice of your lady in waiting, Ryujin, drew your attention to the one place in your room you hadn’t looked at yet; the door. “Wow, you look awful.”

You smiled a little and shook your head. Ryujin had always spoken in a way that was a little bit…less than formal than she should have, but it was only really ever around you. Not that you cared. Ryujin and you had a close bond, and she felt more like family to you than the actual people you were related to, so you could find yourself putting up with the way she talked.

“You wouldn’t believe what my parents are making me do this time, Ryujin.” You started, letting out a heavy sigh. “You know Prince Dino? From Kasmira?”

Ryujin stepped closer, tilting her head to the side. “I know of him. Why?”

“They’re making the two of us get married.”

Ryujin gasped, her mouth hanging open. “Really? And they didn’t even tell you until now?”

“No! Can you believe it!” You huffed. “Honestly, why do I even bother with them? They seriously make me sick.”

Ryujin frowned, reaching under the blanket to grab your hand and pull you into an upright sitting position. Suddenly, her face lit up, as if she was remembering something. “Hey, you know what? Someone is actually here to see you, they’re waiting in the garden now.”

Now it was your turn to frown. “Who? Tell them that I’m busy.”

“Busy staring at the ceiling and the wall?”

“And the window.”

Ryujin shook her head, grabbing onto you again but this time to pull you out of bed, much to your displeasure. “Do you really want to stay in bed all day, [Y/n]?”

“I don’t see why I can’t.” You crossed your arms over your chest. At this, Ryujin scoffed. You were definitely your family’s daughter, even as much as you wished you weren’t.

“Oh come now, Your Highness, you could use some sun and fresh air. If you don’t get any now, you might wither away and die.”

“Is that an option?”

With a short laugh, Ryujin dragged you to your wardrobe, picking out what to put you in for today. “Oh [Y/n], you’re unbelievable.”

“I’m serious though.”

Once Ryujin had made you “look presentable” (her words) she led you to the gardens, arm in arm, where she had said this mysterious someone was waiting for you.

“Ryujin, are you sure there was actually someone here and you weren’t just drunk? Again?” You asked, looking around the gardens for any sign of life other than you and your friend.

“Of course I wasn’t drunk! I’m sure he was here…” She mumbled, looking around with you. “Oh! There he is!” She pointed to the left, and you turned your head in the direction she was pointing in.

Standing in a more secluded part of the garden was a tall blonde man with a slightly lost look on his foot. He looked to be your age and was clothed in robes of soft yellow, the royal Kasmiran colors. Wait a minute…this man wasn’t a stranger, this was—

“Oh my god, Prince Dino…” You mumbled. Ryujin lowered her finger, alternating her gaze between you and him in disbelief.

“What? He’s the prince? [Y/n], I swear I didn’t know…he didn’t tell me.” Ryujin stammered, letting you drag her away towards the entrance and back to the castle. “Where are we going? He came here for you and he’s expecting you to be here.”

“Then he’ll be disappointed to know that I won’t be able to see him today. Or any other day.” You told her. The nerve of him, to show up here and telling your lady in waiting that he wanted to see you without even letting himself be known.

“Princess?” He called out from where he was standing, and you gripped Ryujin’s arm tighter. He just had to notice you, didn’t he?

If only Ryujin didn’t know how to deal with your stubbornness so well. You would’ve much preferred rotting in your room as you stared at the ceiling. Or maybe the window.

You turned around with a sigh, shamefully making your way closer to Dino while Ryujin trailed behind, having let go of your arm when you bruised it with that grip of yours. “Hello, Your Highness.” You greeted him formally, which seemed to confuse him.

“Your highness?” He asked with a laugh. “Princess, please. There’s no need to act like that. Not since we’re supposed to be getting married, after all.”

Oh please.

“I’m sorry, your highness. But considering the fact that we are meant to be married, I think this is exactly how we should be speaking to each other.”

“[Y/n], maybe Prince Dino has a point. And anyway you don’t really talk like that all the time—” Ryujin tried to reason with you, but you elbowed her in the side before she could continue. Clearing your throat, you looked back at the prince.

“So, what exactly are you doing here?” You asked him. Despite your formality, Dino seemed amused at your question. He took a few steps closer before stopping, realizing that you were backing away from him.

“Sorry.” He smiled. “My parents told me it would be a good idea to come here and get to know you since…well y’know.” He laughed, hoping you would too, but when he saw you looking more serious than ever, he stopped and looked away.

“So you’re only here because your parents told you to come?”

No response.

“Wow,” You scoffed in reply. You leaned closer to Ryujin, bringing your mouth to her ear. “I can’t believe my parents are this desperate.”

Forcing a smile, Ryujin leaned in closer to you. “Come on, he’s really trying here. Give him a chance. He’s basically your husband, after all.”

“He is not my husband!” You hissed, which caused Ryujin to stifle her laughter behind her hand.

“Yeah yeah, maybe not for now~” She teased, turning to bow for Dino before excusing herself back to the castle. And leaving you here. With him.

“The two of you seem close,” He said.

“Oh my, how on earth did you figure that out?” Dino’s lips formed a faint pout at your sarcasm.

“[Y/n], I’m sorry. I know that this is all very sudden, and I can tell you don’t like me very much,” He sighed. “But I just want to at least get along with you. I’ll really do anything.”

Smiling, you leaned in a bit closer to him. “Really? Anything?” When he nodded, you beckoned him closer with your finger. “Get lost, pretty boy.” Like Ryujin had done just moments ago, you bowed to him before turning away as you quickly retreated to the castle, but Dino followed you anyway with a grin on his face.

“You think I’m pretty?”

You turned your head to glare at him.

“It wasn’t a compliment.”

For the rest of the week, Dino continued to come over every day and seek you out, while you continued to avoid him at every turn. It would have been easier if he wasn’t so insistent, going as far as to ask Ryujin or other castle workers for your whereabouts. Dammit, why couldn’t he just let you avoid him? It’s not like the two of you were actually meant to be together. This was all just a convenient little ploy by your parents to repair their royal status. It wasn’t real, and you wished he would stop treating it like it was.

You really couldn’t believe the lengths he went to with some of these attempts to get closer to you either. The bouquets of white roses in the most intricate porcelain vases? The hand-written letters—front and back? The jewelry carved from only the finest of gemstones? All very sweet sentiments, yes, but to say you were uninterested would be an understatement.

On Friday, much to your embarrassment, Ryujin found you hiding from him underneath one of the tables in the kitchen. When she realized it was you, she shook her head and sighed.

“[Y/n], this is just sad.”

You shushed her, trying to squeeze yourself farther into the corner underneath the table. “Be quiet. He could be listening.”

“You have got to stop running from that boy. I mean really, what’s the big deal. He’s actually really nice.”

“The big deal is that I don’t need him following me around like a stray dog.” You scoffed. “Seriously, why couldn’t we just be a normal family of shunned royalty?”

“You don’t mean that.” She said. “And besides, it’s only a matter of time before he finds you. He’s really not giving up either, [Y/n].”

Realizing she was right, you crawled out from under the table, muttering a few curses under your breath. “Believe me, I know. He won’t stop sending me gifts.” Ryujin smiled when you said that.

“Wow, isn’t he charming.” Ryujin chuckled. “And speaking of him, he told me to tell you to meet him in the gardens again today.”

“Why is he always telling you all this stuff and not me?”

Ryujin looked at you incredulously. “Because you avoid him like the damn plague.”

Oh, right. She did have a point. Whatever, it’s not like you were going to go. You had managed to avoid him all week, and absolutely nothing would convince you to go.

Ryujin seemed to sense this, and she smirked. “He made you a picnic.”

“I’m so happy you actually came,” Dino smiled at you. You sat across from him, holding the bowl of strawberries he had set out before him on the blanket. You looked up at him, pulling the strawberry you had been eating away from your mouth so you could respond to him.

“I just came because Ryujin told me about the picnic.” You curtly responded, bringing the strawberry back to your mouth. You thought he would’ve stopped smiling when you said that, but his smile only grew wider.

“So that’s all it takes then.” He mumbled. “Is that why you didn’t care for the gifts I sent before?”

You looked him up and down, sneering. “No, it was because I just didn’t care for them. It’s not wise to spend your money so carelessly on things that don’t matter.”

Dino leaned back, bracing himself up with his hands. “Trying to please my future wife doesn’t matter?”

You stiffened, gripping the bowl tighter in your hands. “Stop saying things like that.” You warned, yet he still seemed unphased as he watched you devour the rest of the strawberries. When the bowl had been emptied, you stared down into it with a frown and began to regret your greed for the little red fruit, because now you were all out.

Dino picked up the bowl once you had tossed it aside. “Should I ask someone to get you some more? I didn’t realize you would eat the entire bowl.”

“No.” You dismissively waved your hand, pushing away the thoughts of the strawberries, even though the offer of more was tempting. You hadn’t had strawberries since before the war. They didn’t grow in Sokoto, which is a fact that devastated you when you found out, and you always relied on a fresh monthly shipment of them from the Hisians and now…well…you’ve just gone a long time without strawberries. “No, It’s fine.”

Dino, however, was as insistent as ever. He picked up the bowl and started walking back to the castle. “I’ll ask Ryujin for more strawberries. Don’t disappear on me, okay?”

You spared him a single glance before looking elsewhere. “No promises.”

Dino laughed to himself, the words almost escaping his ears as he marched back to the castle with a little extra speed. He knew you wouldn’t leave—at least he hoped he knew. He wanted to trust himself, to trust you, but you were unpredictable. Thankfully, a little unpredictability was hardly an issue for him.

Though honestly, if you wanted to leave at any time, you definitely would. But with the promise of your favorite fruit, the urge to leave was just a bit short of overwhelming at the moment. Shifting yourself to lie on your stomach, you started to take notice of all the different things that Dino had packed with him on this picnic. All of your favorites…even the things you hadn’t gotten to taste in years. How could he know about any of this? You grumbled at the thought of Ryujin or any of the chefs selling you out.

You also took notice of the white rose sticking out of the basket. While they were the official flower of Kasmira, you were sure he must’ve had a secret stash of these somewhere because to be honest, you were getting tired of seeing them. But this one looked especially delicate, you couldn’t help but reach forward and take it in your hands, twirling it around and even holding it to your nose to take in the faint scent.

The sound of Dino’s footsteps on the gravel path had you looking over your shoulder, noticing he came back with an even bigger bowl of strawberries than he had left with. His classic smile returned to his face when he saw that your eyes had widened.

“I hope you don’t mind, but Ryujin insisted on giving you a bigger bowl. Said that you’d have no problem finishing the entire thing.” Him saying that had you coming back to your senses. Ryujin was just asking to be put out of a job going and telling those things to Dino.

You turned away, gazing down at the bowl when Dino set it in front of you. He sat himself down next to you, choosing to stay silent as he watched you set the rose to the side and pull the bowl closer to you.

“How did you know I liked all this stuff?” You asked quietly. Dino let out some sort of confused dound, and you sighed. “The food, I mean. Like…the strawberries. I haven’t had them in ages.”

Dino nodded, having understood what you meant. “When I told Ryujin I wanted to do this for you, she told me about all of the foods you always eat.” He laughed. “Really, I didn’t realize that you could be so choosy with your food. Do you know how hard it is to get fresh strawberries at this time if the year?”

“Oh fuck off.” Dino gasped, his mouth falling open at your sudden vulgarity. You were surprised too, covering your mouth with one of your hands once the words you had said sunk in. “I didn’t mean to say that.”

“I didn’t know the Princess of Sokoto had such a filthy mouth,” He mumbled. For a brief moment, you were actually wondering if he was serious, but the smirk that slowly appeared on his face gave him away. Unable to fight the urges telling you not to, you hit him in the arm, biting back grin when he winced. “I didn’t know you hit so hard, either.”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Your Highness.” You stared at the strawberry in your hand, taking one bite before placing it back in the bowl. “I shouldn’t eat any more. The chefs will be preparing dinner soon.”

“Leaving so soon?” He asked, and you nodded. “Alright then, should I escort you back?” He extended one of his hands towards you, and you stared at it for a moment, but still ended up declining. You didn’t miss the glint of disappointment in his eyes, either.

“We should do this again sometime.” You noted. “And I’m not saying that because I want to be around you, but because I enjoyed the food.”

Ah, there it was again, that classic bright smile.

“Also, you smile too much. I don’t like it.”

You had been right about the strawberries. They did end up spoiling your appetite. You stared down at your plate, many of the contents on your plate going uneaten before you excused yourself to your room, Ryujin trailing behind as usual.

“[Y/n], what’s the matter? Was something wrong at dinner?” She asked, following you around as you threw yourself into bed. “Is it so bad you’re not even going to bother to change out of your outfit from today? Seriously, it’s going to get all wrinkled, and that’s just extra work for Yeji to do later.”

“I ate too many strawberries.” You stated. “Though I’m sure you know about that, right?”

Ryujin looked away, shrugging and shaking her head. “I’m not sure that I do, actually,” She mumbled, pairing it with an awkward laugh when she noticed you glaring at her. “Anyway, how was your little date with Prince Dino?”

“Ryujin, it was not a date. And even if it was, it would’ve been a pretty shitty date considering he left me in the middle of it.”

“Ah, c’mon, he came back! And he came bearing gifts!” She tried to reason with you, which you found both pointless and confusing.

You rolled your eyes, burying your head under the blankets, despite Ryujin’s protests that you would mess up your hair and get more wrinkles in your clothes. It wasn’t really a date, was it? Is that what dates were? Just being around another person, having them close by, talking (or not talking) to each other about whatever crossed your mind? That was a date? No way, you knew what a date was and whatever you and Dino had going on definitely wasn’t that. People went on dates when they loved each other, when there was romance budding and underlying tension. Yeah, that definitely wasn’t a date.

“Are you seriously not going to change out of that?” Ryujin asked, trying to pull down the blankets, but you were, unsurprisingly, stronger. With a sigh, she backed away. “Fine, but if Yeji asks me why your outfits are so wrinkled, I’m telling her.” You lowered the blanket just low enough to see her march out of the room and slam your door shut.

Normally, you would’ve fallen asleep after just a few minutes with your eyes closed. However, your stomach still felt funny and you tossed and turned every few minutes. We’re those strawberries really fresh? Would Dino serve you rotten strawberries? No, of course not…they were too red to be out of season. Not only that, but there was little chance Dino would do anything like that to you. He was too nice. The reason your parents ever think you two were some sort of match made and heaven was beyond you.

You couldn’t sleep yet. Not like this. Not with the ache in your stomach and the thoughts racing around in your head. Sighing, you gathered the little strength you had left to roll yourself out of bed, wandering through the halls and corridors until you needed up outside, at the front of the castle. A deep breath, followed by a slow exhale, and your head fell back towards the sky. The night sky was clear and vast and full of stars, and you felt your lips curl into a smile.

The stars understood you. When everyone else had abandoned you, abandoned your family, you sought comfort in the starry night sky. The stars never turned you away. The stars never betrayed you. The stars never forced you to do anything you couldn’t decide on. When you died, you hoped you became a star. They would surely accept you with open arms, like a real family.

You were so caught up in your thoughts, you hadn’t even noticed someone approaching you. A tall, blonde, someone.

“So you like the stars?” Dino asked, and you jumped a little. He took a step back, feeling bad for having startled you. “Sorry, [Y/n]. It’s just me.”

You furrowed your eyebrows and stared at him, but turned your attention quickly back to the sky. “What are you doing out here?”

“I could ask you that too.” He said, following your gaze and looking up. “It’s late for a princess to be alone outside at night.��

“My stomach hurts.” You told him. “From the strawberries. A walk always helps.”

“That was hours ago.” He said. “That’s weird. They were definitely fresh. Are you sure it was the strawberries?”

“What else could it have been?” You asked, your tone a bit harsher than you intended. You sighed, deciding to change the subject. “What about you? Why are you out here? I thought you went back home.”

“It’s not like I live far.” He had a point…kind of. Kasmira was your closest neighbor, only being about a few hundred miles to the east. You were seriously wondering how he managed to get here every day and still have so much time to spend entertaining the hope of getting to coax you out of your room to spend time with him. “Aww, are you worried about me?”

“Don’t go talking like that.” You told him. “Unless you want me to hit you again.”

Dino chuckled, breaking his eyes away from the sky to look at you. “You never answered my question from earlier.”

“Which one? I’m not keeping count.”

“Do you like the stars?”

You managed to look away from the stars to allow your eyes to meet Dino’s, even if only for a second. “Yeah. I always have.”

He stepped closer. “Why?”

“Because…” You hesitated. Why were you hesitating? “I just do.”

You froze, feeling something wet and warm sliding down your cheek. Dino gasped, coming even closer to see you clearly.

“You just ‘do?’ Is that really all there is to it?”

“Why do you keep asking me so many questions?” When you came out here, you had been hoping for a moment of peace and quiet. A chance to vent your frustrations to the sky, like you had done since you could talk. This was your one chance for a little bit of solitude, and you hadn’t wanted anyone intruding on it.

“I was thinking about what you said before,” He said. “When you told me there was a lot I didn’t know about you. You were right, I don’t know a lot about you.”

Okay, great. Now you were starting to feel bad about getting so upset. You sighed, lowering your head and looking at the ground. “I’ve always liked the stars. I just…find comfort in them.”

Dino wondered if you were going to say more, but you kept your lips pursed, and he figured there was more to it that you weren’t saying. That was fine, he wouldn’t push an answer out of you if you weren’t ready, he was just grateful you had confided in him. This was progress, even if it was only a small step forward.

The two of you continued to stand there in silence, looking everywhere but at each other. There was a strange feeling in the air, and it made you uncomfortable. Was this tension? Could Dino feel it too?

“Um, I should probably get back to bed.” You said, noticing Dino nod out of the corner of your eye. Like before, he extended his hand to you, and once again you declined. “Good night, Your Highness.”

“Good night, [Y/n].”

The next morning, you did something you hadn’t done in a long time.

You shocked Ryujin.

“What are you doing awake already?” She questioned. “Is it opposite day? Am I still dreaming?”

“Oh you’re so funny, Ryujin.” You said, sliding past her and out of the door.

“Where are you going? And how are you already dressed? You did my job for me…am I getting fired?”

You laughed. “Relax. I’m just going to the orchard.” Ryujin narrowed her eyes at how casual you seemed, not even trying to hide her skepticism.

“The orchard? For what? We have plenty of apples here. Too many, if I’m being honest. Where are you really going?”

“Ryujin, really, what reason do you have not to trust me?”

“I have several. An entire list, actually.” She said. “Seems like I’ll be making an addition to it today.

“Ryujin, I’m giving you a day off, don’t you get it?” You asked her. “Now I suggest you take it before I make you do your job.”

Her demeanor changed in an instant.

“You are most gracious, Your Highness.” She bowed to you and then ran off to who knows where, probably the maids quarters, no doubt. Whatever, that was her business. Just like your trip to the orchard with Prince Dino was yours.

Since the picnic, he had stopped with the other gifts—well, he still sent you the flowers—and had started planning on bringing you out, starting with Kasmira’s renowned apple orchard. Kasmiran apples were spoken about in every corner of every kingdom, known for their distinctive flavor and sweetness. You’d be lying if you said you never wanted to try one for yourself, and now you would finally get the chance.

He was waiting for you with a carriage, which he offered to help you into.

You raised one of your eyebrows. “What, you think I need your help to sit down?” When he pouted, you gave him a light shove. “I’m only kidding. But really, I’ve got it.”

“That was a joke?” He asked, climbing in and sitting across from you. “I’m shocked. I didn’t know you even had a sense of humor.”

“Excuse me?”

“Ah, no, I didn’t mean it like that. You’re just normally so…serious. If you hadn’t told me, I wouldn’t have known you were kidding.”

You tilted your head back, resting it on the solid interior of the carriage. “The only person I ever joke with is Ryujin.” You explained to him. “She gets me. It’s easy to laugh with her.”

“You laugh too?” He just couldn’t stop. “I’ll believe it when I hear it.” He teased.

You glared at him, opening your mouth to say something, but decided against it. Instead, you turned your head to look out of the window, watching the landscape as it came into view and faded out of sight with the movement with the carriage.

“Will we be there soon?” You asked, wanting nothing more than to get to Kasmira as fast as possible to get your hands on one (or five) of those apples you had heard so much about.

“Yeah…” Dino nodded, then stopped and shook his head. “No, it’ll be about fifty minutes.”

Great, fifty minutes until you got to taste the rumored honey and heaven apples. Fifty minutes left riding inside this tiny little compartment with too little space keeping you and Dino apart. Just great.

To your surprise, the ride had been faster than you expected. It might’ve had something to do to the nap you took on the way, but that was neither here nor there. Dino placed a hand on your shoulder, softly shaking you awake.

“Hm?” You hummed, the clutches of sleep still gripping your brain. You blinked yourself awake, gasping when you saw the field of trees from the carriage window. “We’re here!”

Dino opened the door, sliding out of the seat and holding the door open for you. You practically jumped out, an awestruck smile on your face as you stared up at the trees littered with the soft pink apples.

Dino smiled softly at your enthusiasm, watching as you stood up as tall as you could and plucked an apple off a branch, happily bringing it to your mouth to take a bite.

Oh god, the rumors did no justice to describe the taste of these apples. You had never tasted anything as fresh and crisp in your entire life. Giving Dino a quick glance, you continued to bite into the apple over and over again until he pulled it away from you, laughing.

“So, what do you think?”

You covered your mouth with one hand, trying to chew and swallow what was in your mouth, before nodding with a smile. “They’re amazing! I’ve never tasted anything so good in my life!” You took the apple back from Dino’s hands, taking the last few bites before you had finished it off.

“Then let’s get you a few more, hmm?” He said, pressing a hand against the small of your back while he reached up to grab a few more apples and drop them into the basket he had brought with him in his other hand. You froze, your skin burning at the feeling of his hands on your body.

“Um…Prince Dino?” You mumbled, catching his attention. You had never called him by anything other than “Your Highness” since the two of you first met, and he was definitely shocked to hear you say those words.

“Yes, [Y/n]?” He said, looking down at you but never moving his hand from your back.

“Your—your hand…” Dino looked down at his hand was, immediately pulling it away from where it had been, and in an instant you felt the warmth that had been there fade away.

“Oh, I’m so sorry [Y/n], I didn’t even realize.” He apologized. Without another word, he leaned down to pick up the basket and handed it to you. “Here you go, [Y/n]. Should I come with you to—”

“No!” You shouted, though you hadn’t meant to raise your voice. “No, no. There’s no need. I’ll go back on my own.”

Dino wanted to say something, but you had already turned your back to him, rushing back to the carriage and telling the driver to bring you back to Sokoto before he could. Glancing out of the window, you noticed him standing under the tree, watching you get farther and farther away, his arms limp at his sides.

You brought a hand to your chest, feeling your heart beat twice as fast than it should have been. This shouldn’t have been happening. This was exactly the reason you didn’t want him touching you, the reason you had refused to touch him, because you knew that if it happened, you wouldn’t be able to control how it would affect you. Even though it had been such a harmless, domestic, innocent touch, if it could get this much of a reaction out of you, maybe you should get stricter on the “no touching” rule.

This is not at all how you thought today would turn out.

The next day things had gone back to the way they had been in the beginning; with you holed up in your room, avoiding Dino. And it was like that for the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that. Ryujin had tried to get you outside, or at the very least to the dinner table, but her persistence couldn’t stand a chance against your stubbornness. Once a week had passed since the apple incident, Ryujin couldn’t take it any more.

“Enough is enough [Y/n]. You haven’t left your room in a week. Dino won’t stop hounding me with questions about where you are every day, and I can’t take it anymore!” She huffed. “You need to get up and go see him so I don’t have to.”

“Ryujin, I can’t.” You said with a heavy sigh. “It’s just…complicated.”

“How complicated could things really be?”

More complicated than you would’ve liked. “I just can’t see him right now.”

“Well that’s too bad, because I told him you would.” Ryujin shrugged. “He’ll be here later, so we have to make you look…like you again, now.”

“Ryujin, I’m tired of you trying to play matchmaker. Are my parents paying you to do this to me?” You asked, your tone nothing short of accusatory.

“I’m doing this because you don’t need to be locked up in this room all day. Not only that, but I can tell how much you and Dino like spending time with each other.”

The rebuttal in your mind died in your throat at the last sentence Ryujin had said. The time you had spend with Dino recently hadn’t been all bad…but what did she know?

“Now get up. Unless you want Dino to come over and see you like…that.” She gestured to your overall disheveled appearance, a grimace on her face.

“Oh yeah, like you’re not a sight for sore eyes.” You hissed, then broke out into laughter along with Ryujin a second later. “Fine, whatever, I’m getting up.”

The next hour consisted of a long, soapy bubble bath, followed by Ryujin washing and doing your hair, and finally her picking out the finest outfit for you to wear just in time for Dino’s arrival in his favorite rendezvous point: the Sokoto castle gardens.

Fuck, you were so nervous.

Dino arrived with a single white rose in his hand and a smile, thrilled to be able to see you again. Ryujin bowed and wandered off, leaving with. Alone. Again.

“For you.” He said, handing the rose to you. You looked down at it before you gingerly took it from him and thanked him with a fleeting smile.

“Thank you.”

Awkward silence. The worst type of silence. This is exactly why you wanted to avoid him, to prevent all of these unnecessary feelings.

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable that day…at the orchard.” He said. “And my apology was so shitty, I—”

“Dino, stop. Don’t apologize. It’s…It’s okay. I shouldn’t have run off on you like that. It was rude of me.”

Dino stepped closer, noticing the way your body tensed up when he did. “[Y/n], what’s going on?”

“I…I don’t want you to touch me.” You whispered. The grip you had on the rose was starting to hurt your hand. Dino gave you a curious and worried look.

“Why?”

“…Because when you touched me at the orchard, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I don’t think I’ve ever felt that way before in my life.”

You expected many different reactions from Dino. You expected him to back away, to call you strange or disgusting. You expected him to go running back to Kasmira as fast has his feet would carry him, to start avoiding you like you had been avoiding him. You even expected him to ask to call off the marriage agreement and find someone better, or nicer, or prettier.

You never expected him to pull you close, cursing under his breath and pulling your face up to look at him.

“Really, baby?” He asked, his voice suddenly soft, a direct contract to the way his eyes darkened. “Is that why you’ve been so adamant on not letting me touch you?”

A tentative nod of your head had Dino chuckling. “Now it all makes sense. Don’t worry baby, I’ll make you feel a thousand times better…only if you want to, though.”

“Yes, please,” your words came out hushed and breathy and shaky, allowing Dino to guide you you backwards onto the grass and gently push you backwards while he hovered above you.

Dino slid his hands down your body, seemingly pleased at the way you shivered when his fingers traced over your underwear, pushing up the button of your dress to see how drenched they were.

“Oh, baby,” Dino sucked in a sharp breath, pulling them to the side and biting his lip once he had seen how wet you actually were. “Is this all because of me?”

You nodded, covering your mouth to keep any noise from escaping. “Couldn’t stop thinking about you.” You mumbled from behind your hand, making sure your voice was loud enough for him to hear you clearly.

He ran two of his fingers up and down your slit before pushing one of them inside of you, pressing the pad of his thumb against your clit, all the while you squirmed beneath him, working hard to trap the moans that threatened to spill out of your lips.

“Baby, don’t be so nervous,” he said, adding a second finger inside of you and curling them just enough so that you finally let your hands fall away from your mouth and let your moans out. “That’s it, keep moaning like that for me. Fuck, you sound so pretty.”

“Dino…f-fuck. Don’t stop…” You ground your hips up into his hand, your mind growing foggy with pleasure as Dino increased the speed of his fingers. You were embarrassed at how easily his fingers slid in and out of you from how wet you continued to get.

Dino lowered his head, bringing his lips to your neck, kissing and sucking at any exposed skin he could find. He thrived at the way your moans grew louder and more urgent, switching the position of his fingers, opting for a scissoring motion and pressing his lips together to keep in a moan of his own. “Your thighs are starting to shake, love. Gonna cum for me?”

You nodded weakly, arching your back when you felt Dino add a third finger inside of you. Your skin felt hot and sticky and sweaty all over, and the only thing you could say when you felt your orgasm hit you like an earthquake was “Dino, Dino, Dino,” over and over again.

“That’s my girl,” Dino mumbled, fingering you through your high, pulling them out of you once you wrapped a hand around his wrist. You watched with wide eyes as he brought them to his lips, sucking them clean and moaning at the taste of you. “You taste so sweet, baby.”

“Don’t say thatttttt.” You whined, pushing him down onto the grass while you sat yourself upright. Wasting no time, you immediately brought one of your hands to his crotch, palming over the bulge that had been growing inside of his pants. “Ooh, what’s this? Is this all because of me?” You mimicked the words he had said to you earlier, grinning when he nodded and pushed his hips up into your hand.

“Baby, come on, you’re really gonna tease me right now?” Dino asked, unable to stop his hips from moving. As much as you wanted to tease him, there would be plenty of opportunities to do that another time. Right now, you wanted so badly to taste him, to feel him in your mouth and hear him moan for you like you had done for him.

You tugged down his pants and underwear, just enough so that his cock could spring free, and you drooled at the sight, noticing the bead of pre cum that had collected at his tip, and now it was time for Dino to be the embarrassed one.

“So…big.” You mumbled, wrapping your hand around him and giving him a few slow pumps, squeezing him once to see what his reaction would be. A hoarse groan served as your answer. “Can I…use my mouth on you?”

“Of course you can baby,” Dino nodded all too eagerly, watching with rapt attention as you brought your lips closer and closer to his cock. You have his tip a few kitten licks, the slightly salty taste spreading onto your taste buds. To be honest, you really didn’t know how to do this, the request coming from a carnal place inside of you. You were stalking for time so you could recall the words in a book you once read that had a scene similar to this moment in it. Once you had the faintest idea of how to proceed, you wrapped your lips firmly around his cock, feeling him rest his hands on the top of your head for stability.

Feeling you swirl your tongue around him, flicking your tongue across the slit as your head bobbed up and down had Dino absolutely reeling beneath you. He gripped your hair, shoving it all the way down to the base as he thrust his hips up into your mouth, gagging as a few tears starting to form in your eyes. “S-Sorry baby, shit, I can’t help myself…you’re s-so good with this cute little mouth of y-yours, fuck. Gonna fuckin’ cum already.”

You hummed in acknowledgment, letting Dino continue to fuck your mouth. He had pulled you back slightly when he registered your gagging, allowing you to wrap your hands around what didn’t fit in your mouth. You stroked him as fast as he tugged your head up and down, feeling your saliva trickle down your lips, chin, and all the way down Dino’s cock. When his hips stilled, you thought for a slight second that something was wrong, but the next second you felt his cum shoot into your mouth and down your throat, and he released his grip on your hair as he laid back and panted.

Recalling the words in the book once again, you swallowed—unfortunately you had done so a bit too fast, and you coughed and patted your chest to keep yourself from choking. The last thing you wanted to do right now was die in front of Dino after you had just sucked him off after he had just fingered you. Dino helped you by patting your back. Once your breathing had gone back to normal, he smiled at you, and you returned the gesture.

“Wow, you were right,” You mumbled. “I do feel a thousand times better.”

“Does this mean we can ban the no touching rule?”

You narrowed your eyes at him with a grin, giving him a pinch on his thigh. Dino hissed in pain, scrambling to pull up his underwear and pants. “Consider that a yes.”

The next few weeks were nothing short of amazing. There was a minuscule, growing spark between you and Dino now, and it resided inside of your heart, and you felt no desire to let it die out or even to extinguish it.

Dino took you on several dates, yes, dates, in this time frame, always with an added personal touch. He brought you to a local Kasmiran bakery and then let you ride his thigh on the carriage ride home. He took you to a winery in Vaelia then ate you out behind the building. He asked you to tag along while he went sightseeing in Sokoto and had you cockwarm him in the carriage the whole time. With each of these, the spark in your heart continued to grow. 

At this rate, it was only a jagged of time before it grew to become a fire.

You were up early again this morning, having thought of the most wonderful idea in bed the night before. Today, you were going to Kasmira all on your own to surprise Dino. Sure, yes, you had been to Kasmira before, but never had you been to the castle. You would even bring him some tarts made from the tangerines you had picked in the Sokotoan tangerine fields on Tuesday with Dino before he asked you to sit on his face. That was a good day.

Ryujin couldn’t be happier for you, though at some times during this new stage in the relationship between you and Dino she felt like she couldn’t keep up with the new you. Though recently, you had been giving her more days to herself as you insisted on doing all the work for yourself.

You were getting ready to go, opening the door of your room, shocked to see Chaeryeong already standing there, seemingly spacing out again with a round golden container in her hands.

“Um…Chaeryeong?” You mumbled, waving a hand in front of her face. That seemed enough to snap her out of it, and she focused her gaze on you with a smile.

“Ah, sorry Your Highness! Here are the tarts, freshly baked just for you. Lia was going to deliver them, but then she remembered she had something to do with Ryujin at the last minute.”

You took the container from her and smiled. “Thank you. Oh, and tell the cooks I said thank you as well.” Chaeryeong nodded, bowing to you before excusing herself. You shut your door behind you, making your way out of the castle and to a carriage as fast as you could. When the driver asked where to, you happily chirped out “Kasmira, please,” and asked him to get you there as quick as he could. For all fifty minutes, you couldn’t sit still for longer than a few seconds. You just couldn’t wait to see Dino again, to hold him close and feed him your tarts. He’d probably ask if you made them, and even though you hadn’t, he’d still say they were the best things he’d ever tasted second to you. Then you’d get flustered, hit him, and let him bury himself between your thighs for as long as he wanted.

Long story short, you really wanted to see Dino. Really badly.

Upon your arrival to the Kasmiran castle, you rushed out of the carriage and into the castle, asking around until you found out that Dino was in the Kasmiran royal gardens. Thanking them, you hurried your way there, smiling when you took notice of his signature blonde hair. You were just about to call his name when he laughed, leaning his head back, and you saw a woman sitting beside him, looking at him with a smile on her face.

You felt your mouth go dry as it fell open in disbelief.

Princess Miyoung, the Princess of Hisia, was here in Kasmira. She was sitting next to Dino. Laughing with him. Touching his arm. You let out a shaky breath, a tightening feeling growing in your chest. What was she doing here? Why was she with him? What had she said to make him laugh like that? Fuck, you couldn’t take this. You had to get out of here. You turned around, having your third shock of the day to see Dino’s parents standing in the hallway behind you.

“Oh! Princess [Y/n],” His mother said, obviously surprised to see you standing there. “I wasn’t aware you were here. Is there something you need, honey?”

You shook your head, squeezing your eyes shut with your head to the ground. There was no way you were making a scene, not in front of Dino’s parents. “N-No, uh…I just came to drop off these…tarts. For Dino.” You mumbled, pushing the container into the hands of the King.

“Well, what a lovely sentiment! We’ll be sure to give these to him then dear. I’m sure he’ll be happy to—”

“[Y/n]?” Dino’s smooth voice filled your ears and you squeezed your eyes shut tighter. You didn’t turn to face him, you couldn’t, not if when you opened them you would see Miyoung standing there beside him, her presence alone enough to taunt you. “[Y/n], what wrong?”

“I have to go.” You said, scurrying out of the castle and back to the carriage. Dino chased after you, managing to catch up just before the carriage could start moving.

“What’s the matter? You just got here and now you’re leaving? Stay.” He reached through the open window to hold your hand, but you pulled it away and glared at him.

“Why? You shouldn’t need me when you have Miyoung here to entertain you in my place.” You retorted. Dino’s face fell, and you could only beat yourself up mentally for letting yourself get roped in by him. Of course he didn’t care about you. There was no way he could ever feel the same way about you as you did about him. You were fooling yourself for even thinking that for a second, Dino’s feelings were the same as yours.

“[Y/n], it isn’t like that, please just let me explain—”

You brought your hand up, placing it in front of his face to signal him to stop talking. “Don’t bother, Your Highness.”

For the second time, Dino watched you disappear from him, to let you slip through his hands like grains of sand, and stand to the side powerless as you faded away.

This cycle seemed impossible to break.

For the umpteenth time, here you were, locked away in your room, refusing to see Dino no matter how many times he had begged. You cried every day, drowning your sorrows in bottles upon bottles of wine, dragging yourself to the window to sob to the stars once night had come. You kept the door lock, adamant on not letting anyone see you in such a state. Unfortunately, Ryujin had picked the lock of your bedroom door with a handmade lock pick she got from Yeji because you “needed to eat” so you wouldn’t die before the wedding.

To hell with that wedding, and to hell with the groom.

You sat up in bed, your hands still gripping the nearly empty wine bottle and your cheeks still stained with last nights tears. You brought the bottle to your lips, finishing it off and tossing it aside into the bed. With heavy feet, you dragged yourself to the vanity in the corner of the room, sitting down to take in your reflection.

What have I become, you asked yourself. Who am I? Sighing, you smoothed out the wrinkles in your clothes and tried to make your hair look less unkempt. You wished Yuna was here, she was the hair expert. Ryujin always preferred to keep it simple whenever she did your hair, but she had admitted to you that she learned everything she knew from the younger girl.

A knock at the door had you rolling your eyes.

“Go away, Ryujin. I don’t want breakfast.”

The door opened slightly, and you turned around with a scowl on your face. But then your face changed—softened. Ryujin wasn’t at the door.

“Sorry, I’m not Ryujin.” Dino mumbled, cautiously entering your room before shutting it behind him. “Can we…talk? I haven’t seen you in weeks, [Y/n]. I’m really worried.”

His tone of voice was so gentle and sincere you almost forgot why you were mad at him. Almost. The reason why came flooding back to your brain instantly, and you turned away from him.

“I have nothing to say to you.” You said to him, crossing your arms over your chest.

“[Y/n], please don’t be like that. You left before I had the chance to explain back at the castle.”

“Explain what?” You stood up, whipping around to face him. “Explain what you were doing with the Princess of Hisia? You know what they did to us.” Your last sentence came out quieter—sadder.

“Who is ‘us’?”

“Me! My family! The rest of Sokoto! That is who ‘us’ is, Dino!”

“Why are you grouping yourself with them?” As hard as Dino tried to understand you, in this moment he just…couldn’t. “The war wasn’t your fault, and there was nothing you could’ve done to change what had already happened.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that Hisia stabbed us in the back. And there you were, with the Princess of the first nation that decided to betray us.” You pointed your finger at him. “You’re a traitor.”

“I’m sorry that I have friends, [Y/n], and you don’t. But when your kingdom decides to stay out of unnecessary political affairs that you aren’t a part of, you get keep your allies. I’m sorry if that’s something you or your parents don’t realize because you’re so insistent on being cold and unfeeling, but that’s not what we do in Kasmira.”

Everything he said hurt more because not one part of it was false. But you couldn’t back down now. You had to do something to regain control over the argument.

Even if it meant sending him away.

“Get out.”

Dino raked his hands through his hair, and you could tell that his patience with you was running thin. “No, [Y/n]. I’m not leaving you while you’re like this.”

You glared at him. “I said get out! I don’t ever want to see you again! Go marry somebody else!”

As soon as the words came out of your mouth, the look on Dino’s face was enough to make you regret saying them. You had never seen him go from looking so shocked and heartbroken before, not even the slightest bit. But now…now you had. At it was all because of you.

“Why would I want to marry someone else?”

Silence. Long, heavy, painful silence. Neither one of you looked away from the other or spoke, until finally, after what felt like forever, you found an answer.

“Because I know someone out there is a better match for you than I am.”

“What? [Y/n], what are you talking about? That’s not what I want at all.”

“You…you don’t mean that.” You couldn’t even look at him right now, not if you wanted to believe what you were saying no matter how untrue it was.

“I do, [Y/n]. I mean it. I’ve wanted to marry you since the first time I saw you. Even if you kept running from me. Even if you pushed me away. Even if I could only see you on your time.” Nothing could prepare you for the words he said next. “Because I love you, [Y/n].”

You stiffened, finally finding the strength to raise your head to look at him “What did you say?”

“I said I love you.” He repeated. “Should I say it again, baby?”

“N-No, you can’t…” You whimpered, leaning into Dino’s chest as you felt tears brimming at your waterline. “Please take it back…”

“Take it back? No, why would I ever do that? I really mean it. I’d never say I love you and not mean it, [Y/n].”

“Why do you love me? What is there to love, Dino?”

Dino frowned, wrapping his arms around you and hugging you tightly.

“You have the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen. Every time you laugh, I laugh, because it’s so infectious. You’re such a good friend to Ryujin. When you eat something you like, you can’t stop until you’ve finished it all. You don’t make the best jokes ever, but you’re learning.” He said, laughing a little once he had finished. “And those are just my favorite things about you.”

You wrapped your arms around Dino, running your hands up and down his back, forcing yourself to believe that yes, this was reality. He was here, he was real, and he loved you. “I’m sorry.” You mumbled, the sound of your voice quiet.

“What was that?”

“I said I’m sorry.” You pulled back slightly so that he could hear your voice clearly. “I shouldn’t have ignored you, or run from you, or any of it. I…” Deep breath, you could do it. “I love you too.”

“Is all that true, baby?” You nodded, and Dino immediately pulled you back to his chest, hugging you even tighter. “You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to hear you say that.”

“You mean it?” You asked, wanting to make sure that he was serious. “Not just ‘cause we’re supposed to get married, right?”

His laughter was music to your ears. “Of course not, baby. I love you either way.”

You smiled, tilting your head up so Dino could wipe away your stray tears.

Dino nodded, pulling you back again so he could look you in the eyes. “Yeah, I love you, baby.” His eyes flickered down to your lips before coming back to your eyes. “Can I kiss you?”

A nod of your head is all it takes before he’s pressing his lips to yours. You had never been kissed by anyone before, but the way Dino kissed you was enough to make you glad that this was the first kiss you had ever gotten. The kiss was slow and tender, and you unconsciously chased his lips when he attempted to pull away, wrapping your arms around his neck to keep him in place. Dino smiled against your lips, the two of you only pulling away once the need for air went from mild to severe.

“Again?” You asked, and Dino immediately pulled you in again. The kiss was different this time, it was faster and sloppier, the initial tenderness of the first being replaced by a newfound desperation now that you two knew that what you were feeling was the same. Dino loved you, and you loved Dino.

You didn’t fight it when Dino started to guide you backwards, your body hitting the bed with a bounce. Dino slipped his hands under your thighs, flipping up the bottom of your silk nightgown and pulling down your underwear and tossing it onto the floor. He cupped your cunt with one hand, the palm of his hand pressed flat against your clit.

“Dino, please…”

“Please what, baby? Don’t you want me to play with this cute little pussy like always?” He asked, feeling the way your arousal stuck to his hand as he circles your entrance with one of his fingers. You shook your head, holding onto his wrist with your hand.

“Just want you to fuck me.”

Dino groaned, resting his hands on your hips and pushing your nightgown up even further. “Yeah? You sure, baby?”

You nodded, your skin flushed with heat. “Mhm, want your cock, Dino.”

God, just when he thought you couldn’t get any more beautiful, and that he couldn’t get any harder, you just continued to surprise him.

“Who am I to deny the Princess?” He smirked, making quick work of removing his clothes. While he was doing that, you pulled off your nightgown and threw it and your bra aside, both of them landing somewhere on the floor with the rest of your clothes. Dino laid you back down on the bed, climbing on top of you while he ran his hands all over your body, grinning at the way you moaned and trembled when he teased your nipples.

“Dino, please,” You whined, and he chuckled softly.

“Okay, okay, sorry. I just can’t help myself,” He mumbled, reaching down to pump his cock a few times before lining it up at your entrance. “Ready, baby?”

“Yeah,” you nodded. “Ready.”

Dino eased into your cunt slowly, giving you the chance to adjust to him, all the while he swallowed your whimpers and whines by kissing you. When he had pushed himself all the way inside, he tore his lips away from yours to bite down on your shoulder, resisting the urge to start moving his hips already. The two of you stayed like that for a little while before you  told him it was alright to start moving.

“So perfect, so pretty,” Dino mumbled, holding one of his hands holding onto your hip while the other had both of your wrists pinned above your head. He thrusted into you slowly, pulling himself out almost all the way before slamming back inside of you. “I can’t believe I get to have you like this, baby, fuck.”

“M-me too.” You shuddered, your body slowly traveling further up the bed each time he thrusted into you. “Love it, love you, love your cock, shit…”

“Love you too baby, so much,” He whispered, speeding up the speed of his thrusts, a quiet grunt coming out of his mouth when he felt your walls clenching around him. “Fuck…gonna cum for me already baby? Hm?”

Your response was lost in a series of strangled noises of pleasure as you felt your orgasm creeping up on you. Dino pulled the hand pinning your wrists away and brought it down to the point where your bodies were connected, rubbing your clit in quick circles. You cried out, rolling your hips against him, your eyes rolling back into your head as you came undone beneath him.

“That’s it baby, I’ve got you,” He groaned, speeding up even more as he continued to thrust through your high. Once you had caught your breath, his hips jerked forward one last time before you felt his hit cum filling you up. You tried to pull him closer, figuring that he was done, but Dino flipped you over and ran the head of his cock along your slit, making you whine from the overstimulation.

“Just one more, baby. I cant get enough of this sweet little pussy,” He pushed in without warning, and you screamed, shocked at yourself for just how loud you were being.

“Ngh, Dino, c-can’t take it,” You whined, your head falling down onto the pillows and your mouth hanging open as you surrendered yourself to the pleasure.

“Shh, I know you can take it baby,” Dino whispered, pulling you up so your back was flush against his chest, bringing his head to the crook of your neck, taking a long deep inhale and sighing with content. “You smell so fucking good.”

You can feel his pounding in his chest against your back, your head falling backwards as you felt your second orgasm approaching. “G-Gonna cum again…” Dino couldn’t even brace himself before your walls clamped down against his cock, whispering curses against your skin, and felt his own release envelop him for the second time today too.

You fell forward onto the bed, your eyes closed as you steadied your breathing once again. Dino collapsed beside you, draping an arm over your waist and pulling you close. You turned your head over your shoulder to look at him and smiled.

“That was amazing.”

“Not as amazing as you, baby,” He murmured, stroking your hair with his hand. “I love you.”

“I love you more.”

“I love you most.”

You gripped Ryujin’s shoulders, much to her pain, because she was trying desperately to pry them away.

“[Y/n], your nails are digging into my skin,” She groaned, and only then did you pull your hands away.

“Sorry, Ryujin.” You ran your down the front of your dress, taking deep breaths to steady your nerves. “I just don’t know if I’m ready for this.”

“Of course you are,” Yeji shook her head with a smile on her face. “You look beautiful, [Y/n]. You just go out there, walk down the aisle, and tell Dino those two words that will join you forever.”

“Cum inside?” Ryujin asked, earning her a smack from Lia.

“No, I do.” Lia sighed, then turned to look at you. “I’m so glad you chose us to be your bridesmaids.”

“Yeah!” Yuna agreed, then shuffled around Chaeryeong and Yeji so she was next to you. “By the way, when you throw the bouquet, is there any chance you can sum it towards me?”

“She won’t see us, Yuna. There’s no way she’ll know who she’s throwing at.” Chaeryeong said with a quiet sigh. “I’m really so happy for you, [Y/n]. Dino is the perfect match for you.”

Yeah, if you heard her say that a few months ago, you would not have believed her. You might have even questioned why she would say such a thing. But after everything you and Dino have been through, you could finally agree.

Your father approached you and the girls, a smile on his face as he looked at you. “Oh honey, you look so beautiful. I never thought this day would come.” This was the first time you had seen your dad smile in years.

“What a gorgeous bride. Oh dear, I’m so happy for you,” Your mother cried, holding your head in your hands and pressing a kiss to your forehead. You couldn’t help but smile seeing your parents so happy, and all because of you.

“Thank you Mother, thank you Father.”

Yuna gasped, and everyone turned to look at her. “It’s starting!”

Your father looked at you, nodding. “Alright honey. Are you ready?”

You let out the breath you had been keeping in for a while. “Ready as I’ll ever be.” He pulled your veil over your head, intertwining his arm with yours. The two of you walked down the aisle, and you could hear the gasps and murmurs of everyone in the audience as you walked past them, all eyes on you in that present moment, especially Dino’s

Once you felt your father’s arm leave yours, you turned yourself to the right, faintly making out Dino’s face behind your veil. He reached forward, flipping the veil behind your head, his eyes softening when he got a look at your face.

“You look so gorgeous,” he whispered, and you smiled even brighter.

“And you look so handsome,” you whispered back, Dino trying to bite back the smile that continued to grow on his face.

The ceremony was beautiful, a bit longer than you had thought it would be, but it was fine with you, because Dino looked really good in that tuxedo.

“Prince Dino, do you take Princess [Y/n] to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for to love and to cherish; from this day forward?”

Dino’s hands gripped yours tighter as he nodded, staring deeply into your eyes. “I do.”

“And do you, Princess [Y/n], take Dino to be your lawfully wedded husband, in good times and bad, in joy as well as sorry, till death do you part?”

You nodded, looking back at Dino with just as much love in your eyes as he was doing with you. “I do.”

“Then by the power vested in me, I nor pronounce you, husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride.”

The crowd before you all cheered as Dino cupped your head in his hands and pulled you forward for a kiss. This kiss felt different from the way he had kissed you before, again. This one was passionate, loving, now the two of you were complete. It was perfect.

Later on, after much cake a little drinking, and watching Lia and Yuna fight over the bouquet after you threw it between both of them, you and Dino were still waltzing on the dance floor in the middle of the rest of the guests, holding each other impossibly close, that longing love-struck look still in both of your eyes.

“I can’t believe I get to call you my wife, now,” Dino mumbled, spinning you around. You hummed, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. “My perfect, pretty, sweet wife.”

“Oh stop it,” You laughed. “Sweet is a bit of a stretch, isn’t it?”

“Not at all, baby. I think you’re very sweet.” He said, then pulled you closer. “In more ways than one. Speaking of which, I can’t wait to have you all to myself tonight.”

“Again?” You asked, but you still anticipated what he would have in store for you. “You’re insatiable.”

“Well now that you’re all mine, how am I supposed to help myself?”

You just smiled and shook your head. He should be so lucky that he loved you. But then again, maybe he didn’t need to be. Not when you loved him back just as much. Forever and always, till death do you part.

#seventeen #svt #seventeen smut #seventeen x reader #svt smut #svt x reader #lee chan #svt lee chan #svt dino #seventeen dino #dino smut #lee chan smut #lee chan fluff #lee chan angst #dino fluff #dino angst #svt fluff #seventeen imagines

[watermelonsugacry]

OMG could you imagine harry or yn on hot ones, I feel like yn would kill it(I’m not sure abt harry)😭

HOT ONES

A/N: this was so fun! ty to the lovies that sent in some questions for this one 💚 (picture credits to harianadimples & harianachile !) (4.6k)

GENRE: 1dbandmember!yn

SINCE 2010 masterlist

“Hey, what’s going on everybody. This is First We Feast, I’m Sean Evans, and you’re watching Hot Ones. It’s the show with hot questions and even hotter wings. And today we’re joined by the one and only YN YLN. You might have known her as one sixth of the most famous and influential bands in history, One Direction. She’s a triple threat and an 8 time Grammy award-winning singer, song-writer, musician, and producer and we shouldn’t be surprised if she adds a couple more on her shelf with her new album Waiting Room. The no features, no skip album that’s quickly making its way to the top of the charts. YN, welcome to the show.”

“What a fookin’ intro, man,” YN laughs and plants her hands on the circular table. “Thank yeh for having me on here.”

“The pleasure is all mine. It’s an honor to have you on the show. How are we feeling today?”

“M’actually extremely terrified,” She lets out a chuckle, clasping her hands together as her eyes look over the lineup of spicy wings in front of her.

“About the wings or the questions?”

“It’s half and half for sure.”

“So how are you with spicy foods?”

“M’quite alright with them but m’bit frightened by this gorgeous array of hot sauces here. Like—” YN holds up one of the tiny, glass bottles to the camera. “—this one quite literally has a picture of a bomb on it so,” She raises her hands in defense with a shrug of her shoulders. “Take that as you will.”

...

“Mhm,” YN nods as she licks her lips. “S’quite tasty. I like that one.”

“For the record, I did see that you ate the whole wing. Do you plan on continuing that as we go down the line?”

“I don’t waste food, man,” She smirks as she wipes her hands on the red cloth.

“So let’s start off with before you came into the spotlight. It was revealed that you actually didn’t want to continue singing as a profession when you were younger, but your childhood best friend and later on One Direction band member, Louis Tomlinson, made you audition on the XFactor with him. How did this come to be?”

“He tricked me actually. Louis had told me about how he was able to get an audition for the XFactor and I was super excited for him. Getting a chance like this was all he had talked about when we were growing up. On our way to Manchester—which was like an hour or two away from Doncaster—he told me that he got me an audition too and I was gonna sing in front of the biggest audience ever. The little shit."

"But do you think you would have auditioned if it were on your own terms?" Sean inquires.

"Probably not, if m'being honest," YN shakes her head. "And that honestly me skin crawl. M'very grateful for the path that I went on and that my fans have been giving me the opportunity to continue to do what I love for the past 12 years."

...

Once YN bites off of the last piece of her next wing, she shrugs her shoulders, “These wings are really good. This is easy, bro.”

“I’m just trying to keep up with you,” Seam chuckles before finishing off his piece. “Okay, so let me brag for you for a sec.”

“Alright,” YN lets out a nervous chuckle.

“You have 8, count ‘em, 8, Grammys in the 12 years since you became a solo artist and you have another impressive 8 nominations for the Grammys 2023. One of your many wins is being producer of the year—a category you nominated for the second year in a row—which you said in a Rolling Stones article that it was probably the best award out of everything you’ve ever received in your professional career as an artist. Can you give us some insight into how that became such an important staple on your shelf?”

“Wow,” YN huffs out a smile in disbelief. Her nostrils begin to flare and she can feel the tears threatening to escape her eyes. She feels uncharacteristically embarrassed that she’s suddenly overcome with emotions. “Woah, sorry. I don’t know why I was gonna cry for a second there.”

YN looks up with a chuckle, shimmies in her seat, before she gives a single clap. “Okay, m’good. Yeah I mean, for the first couple of years of my career, I fell in love with what it takes to actually make a song, how to layer instruments and vocals, and the details you can initially glaze over when you first listen to a song. But being the only woman in a music studio full of my male band members, producers, sound engineers, and everyone—it took me a while to be confident enough to speak out about making suggestions in the process of making a song.

I learned so much by just watching in me corner of the room, then I was shown bits and pieces from 1D’s production team. And when I went onto me solo career, I was taken under the wings of kickass producers like Kid Harpoon and Tyler Johnson. Being a woman in this industry—capable of making me own music is a huge accomplishment for me as an artist and for all women who want to break out in a male dominated environment.”

“Continuing the brag streak—”

“Oh, no,” YN smiles behind her red napkin. As confident and narcissistic as she can be, she’s never been one to take a compliment—especially the way in which Sean is just throwing them out there like free candy.

“—your first solo world tour sold out in less than 4 minutes, and your current tour sold out in less than two. How was it like to come into a solo tour after touring with the rest of One Direction five years straight?”

“Well to start off, that statistic is absolutely insane,” YN lets out a laugh. “It was such a big change to do this on my own without the boys by my side on stage. I remember doing a final dress rehearsal the day before me first show and while I sat on stage and just looked out at the massive arena I was in, I began to panic. It wasn’t like I hadn’t performed in that big of a room before but I began to think what if they only bought the tickets because they were so used to the boys? Like, what if they didn’t like just me onstage or the fact that I was doing choreographed dance routines and things like that? But that all changed once I was actually on stage performing. I…I’ve never felt that type of love before.”

...

After YN tosses the bone of her next piece of chicken away and as Sean begins his next question, she stares off to the corner of the table for a second and widens her eyes. Out of nowhere, the spice level has officially been kicked up.

“You’ve also made some impressionable fashion choices that have become a staple in not only your own wardrobe but in the closets of your fanbase. From your frilly shirts from your One Direction days to becoming the female face of Gucci. From your signature 7-inch platform heels to your variety of colorful and textured opera gloves. How important is fashion in your life and how you choose to express yourself?”

YN licks her swollen lips, chuckling a bit from the spice is starting to pick up.

“Fashion wasn’t something I was super passionate about growing up. I wore a lot of dark clothing when I was teenager and when I was in the band I began to wear a lot of shirts and pinks and high heels which was a drastic change for me to say the least. I then went into a lot of changes of like—” YN moves her hand fluidly up and down in a roller coaster motion. “—I was angsty to girly girl to frat girl to comfy to leather. And when I went on this solo journey, I was embracing both a new and older side of me with more pinks and heels but putting a sexier twist to it. And now m’all trousers and blazers but m’still very much figuring out me style. All of my different fashion ‘eras’ define a different chapter of me life and I think that’s such a cool thing about fashion. Clothes don’t wear you, you wear the clothes and when you have that in mind, it can give yeh a big sense of confidence.”

YN can’t help the smile tugging on her lips from her memories of being on stage, “And it’s such an indescribable feeling being on stage for tour and just seeing a sea full of the fans in those long gloves.”

“It has officially become one of many infamous YN YLN trademarks,” Sean points out.

“I guess so,” She laughs along with the host.

...

“We have a segment on our show called Explain That Gram where we do a deep dive on your Instagram and pull interesting photos that need more context.”

“Sounds good, man,” YN nods and she reaches for the hot sauce used for this piece of chicken. "This one has like a lemony taste to it. I like it."

"Well, we have this whole set for you to take home today."

"Shut up," Her eyes widen in excitement. "No way, that's very sweet of yeh. Thank yeh so much, I appreciate that."

When Sean pulls up the first picture on his laptop, YN immediately coos at the screen.

“Wow you guys really went far back, didn’t yeh? Yeah so this was at the band’s third tour, I believe. I remember having such a shitty day earlier before the show and to cheer me up, Harry asked if I could braid his hair,” YN giggles at the memory.

She was going through a rough patch with Matthew and they had an argument right before she had to do some interviews for the day and a show later that night. Knowing how to approach her best, Harry knocked on her dressing room door to see a teary eyed YN wiping her cheeks as quickly as she could. He didn’t ask her why she was crying or try to give her comforting words right away. Instead, he repeated his question when she gave him a furrow of her eyebrows and tilt of her head.

For the last 20 minutes before they had to head backstage, Harry sat on the floor in front of the couch in between her legs. As she twisted and weaved his long hair, he kept her laughing with poor jokes and funny vines he saved on his phone.

She didn’t have time to finish the middle section of his head and when she asked him to sit back down to take the braids out, he refused and basked in the warmth of her smile. He went on stage with them on and he never saw the smile leave her face.

“I had been bugging him to let me do it ever since he decided he wanted to grow his hair out and donate it to charity. It was a very sweet thing he did for me.”

“Hehe,” YN giggles happily at the memory this picture holds for her. She sees her 20-year-old self squished in between Harry and Louis, her Ray Bands over her eyes as she smiles brightly at the camera. “So this looks like 2014 1D and if you’ve seen the footage you can tell that we are—” YN hits a higher pitch as she sings her next words, “High as a fookin’ kite. We were in Brazil and we wanted to go out exploring but there was this massive crowd of fans outside our hotel—”

“Oh, don’t touch your eyes!” Sean quickly reminds YN as she goes to wipe at her eyes.

“Ah! ‘Fank you,” She laughs and dabs at her eyes once someone behind the camera hands her a tissue. “Okay, so there were a lot of fans blocking the front of the hotel and we couldn’t have just merely walked out and got to our cars or anything. I can’t remember who suggested it but we ended up getting out through the back of a bread van. We totally went by unnoticed!”

“We’re going in that?” YN points to the back of the white bread van that’s stuffed with pillows. By the tone of her surprised voice, the hotel workers’ eyes widen, their cheeks get red and they can feel the sweat accumulating on their foreheads in fear. They didn’t want to disappoint and anger a member of the most famous band on the planet. Yet their eyes stay wide for a different reason as YN breaks out into a beaming smile. “Sick!”

She grips onto one of the back doors as she swings herself into the tiny space covered in pillows.

Louis gives one of the hotel workers a reassuring smile and a pat on the chest, “Yeh get used to it. Can I come in and cuddle you, Niall?” He teases as everyone begins to squish in together. Ben Winston is the last to come in and close the door beside him. He’s brought a camera with him to record the trip as it’s going to be a part of the many video diaries that YN can’t keep track of.

“I used to be a baker so I love being in the back of the bread van,” Harry notes like he hasn’t brought up his part-time job from his teenage years before.

“Would you give it a rest, mate,” YN groans from her squished position between him and Louis, giving him a playful roll of her eyes before chuckling along with the rest of the boys. 

“I quite like it in here,” Zyan smiles happily from his corner of the van. It doesn’t take long before they can hear the hundreds of fans screaming outside the vehicle. Everyone makes a shushing noise to quiet everyone as they pass the masses of fans. 

YN already gets anxious when the band has to drive through massive crowds of fans who like to bang on the windows of the Range Rovers. The boys even like to push against the thick glass to counter the weight but that doesn’t stop the anxiety rushing to her chest when it happens. 

Her mind starts to race at the thought that if the fans did actually find out that they were in there, they could easily shred the tiny van into pieces. 

When Harry sees her chest begin to rise up and down at an increasing weight behind his dark sunnies, he doesn’t think twice about putting a hand over hers that’s gripping the pillow in the space between them. He’s thankful for the dimly lit setting and the way she has her legs bent as it covers their tightly, intertwined hands. She discreetly follows his nonverbal instructions and inhales deeply through her nose to copying how he makes a small ‘O’ with his mouth to exhale.

“Why don’t we make this trip a little more exciting?” Zayn wiggles his eyebrows as he pulls out something from his cargo shorts pockets. 

YN pushes her sunglasses up to the top of her head and squints at the tiny object between her bandmate’s fingers before she smiles in relief. She watches as Zayn brings up the rolled-up substance to his lips, flicking his thumb on the lighter before a flame appears. After starting it, he goes to pass it to Niall who immediately shakes his head. Once Louis’s taken a hit, he passes it to an eager YN.

Everyone begins to have their own side conversations and Harry feels the butterflies in his stomach threatening to escape when YN doesn’t let go of his hand. 

He watches from behind his pitch dark sunglasses as she holds the blunt between her thumb and first two fingers, wrapping her lips around it ever so gently and hollowing out her cheeks. Her teeth clench together as she holds the smoke in her lungs for a couple of beats, her eyelashes fluttering at the feeling before releasing the smoke into the space above her.

“How yeh feeling, Nialler?” Ben asks and turns the camera towards Niall in hopes of not capturing what the band is doing. Especially YN as it could cause harm to her “good girl” image that fans already know isn’t fully her.

“Not good,” He mutters out.

“Yeh want me to shotgun you one, Ni? It’ll make yeh feel better.” YN asks with a teasing smile once she blows out another puff from between her full lips, passing the blunt off to Harry. As he snickers along with the rest of the band, he has to admit that he’s relieved when Niall politely declines her offer. 

Once Harry has it between his lips and takes a deep inhale, he's suddenly coughing a few times into his fist.

"Woah," YN giggles and puts a hand on her bandmate's shoulder, already feeling the effects. "Maybe I should have offered you a hit instead."

Her teasing comment only makes him cough more at the intimate thought as he passes the drug to Liam.

"S'just been a while," He manages to say once he's calmed down.

"Just offering," YN smiles at him, biting down on her bottom lip as she leans her head back to the metal wall behind her.

"Well, you seem to be feeling better," Harry quickly changes the subject before he lets his hazy mind wander. He matches her position and leans his head back. A smile etches on his lips when she giggles, closing her eyes and nodding her head.

"Thanks to you," She whispers and gives his hand a squeeze. Getting into a fuzzy headspace, she doesn't think about how long she's been holding his hand or how it makes her skin tingle at his touch. Instead, she brings their hands up between them and pushes them flat against one another so their palms are together. "Woah, look how much bigger yeh hands are."

His dimples dig into his cheeks as he cheekily chuckles at her, letting her maneuver their hands together as she pleases.

"How long?" Louis asks the drivers through the wall behind him. After letting him know that they've arrived, he dramatically yells out, "Okay!"

As soon as their security teams have opened the back doors of the tiny van, everyone begins to scooch their way out.

"S'almost as big as me face!" Harry lets out a string of high-pitched giggles when YN grasps his hand in both of hers and holds it up close to her face to demonstrate her point.

“It made the experience 10x better than it needed to be,” YN laughs, reminiscing at the fun memories she had with her boys. “I just felt bad for Niall, poor thing got both motion sickness and a secondhand high.”

"Alright, last one."

“Yeah, so—” YN sucks in a deep breath through her teeth from the spicy wing she just had. “Um, this was around the time when I started to write some songs on me own, just out on a whim. This was when me manager told me that someone was interested in buying it. So that was me reaction to the news. As you can tell, I acted very professional and calm about the situation.”

...

"I must say that you're doing a really good job so far," Sean smiles at the pop star across the table. "Most would have finished their first glass of milk by now while you're still drinking water."

"I'm built different."

“It’s no surprise to anyone that you know your way around a guitar. You’ve shown off some of your favorite and unique guitars from your extensive collection over the past couple of years. From your custom-made Daisy Rock Debutante butterfly shape staple to your Fender Vintera '50s Stratocaster that was used in a plethora of ABBA’s songs. From Jimi Hendrix's 1967 Gibson Flying V to your baritone/tenor snail shaped ukulele—The Snailele. Out of the all of guitars in your care, what would you say is the coolest guitar you own and why is it your Red Special?”

YN covers her mouth as she laughs out loud while simultaneously trying not to think about the heat increasing in her mouth.

“How do you even know that? I mean, yeh asking me to pick me favorite is like choosing my favorite child. I love all me guitars and they all have a chokehold over me heart. My Red Special is just—” YN has to take in a deep breath in hopes to cool down the heat building on her tongue. “—one of the fookin’ coolest things I own. It’s a hand-crafted replica of Brian May’s guitar that he uses for literally everything and when I met him I nearly shit meself, m’not even joking. Like, that guy is fookn’ superhero, know what I mean? And when he gifted me the guitar, I saw the light, man. I literally had an outside body experience. Like I saw meself in the middle of Brian May’s dressing room as he handed me the guitar.”

“Some people buy and collect expensive cars, I have cool guitars,” YN shrugs with a content smile.

...

“Now, let’s talk about the infamous Harry Styles.”

YN nods her head towards the host, hissing in a deep breath from the hot wing she just ate. This piece has easily become one of the spicier wings so far and she can instantly tell why that is from the mention of her secret fiancé. She smirks as she raises her glass of water to her lips, “Lets.”

“So, you guys have known each other for a little more than 12 years now as you guys were in One Direction together. And on New Years 2020, it has revealed to the world that you guys were in a relationship. Now, I won’t ask for you to go into the details of your relationship but is there any particular reason as to why you guys have kept your anniversary a secret?”

“You know, from a very young age, mine and Harry’s lives have always been in the public eye,” YN licks her lips and chuckles as the burning sensation only increases the more she speaks. They don’t call this hot sauce DaBomb for nothing. “Holy shit. Think m’gonna have to take off me blazer for this one, is that alright?” YN questions, already shedding off her coat. The tattoos scattered along her arms go on display and fans can see Harry’s handwriting inked on her upper rib cage.

“Go ahead, whatever you need to do,” Sean gives her a comforting smile. “Here, I’ll even take my jacket off, too. We’re in this together.”

“I feel the support,” YN laughs but it only makes the stinging that much more intense. “M’actually starting to sweat. Oof okay umm…yeah, even the way our relationship was ‘announced’ kind of left us vulnerable, in a way.”

“What a start to the new year.”

“Exactly. And there was a time in our lives where we felt that everyone knew everything about us and it was something that just didn’t sit well with us. So to have this one piece of our lives for only ourselves just felt right. And even though I’m on social media more than he is and I post a couple of pictures of us every now and then, we definitely don’t feel that way anymore. Which feels really nice.”

“Moving onto the more professional side of your relationship with Harry, you’ve obviously worked with him during your time in the band. You were initially brought onto his production team as a songwriter for his first album, then a musician, vocal-arrangement manager, and producer for his second, and now you were all of the above plus co-lead producer for his current album, Harry’s House. You’ve also worked with big time artists like Little Mix, The Weeknd, Lizzo, and Olivia Rodrigo just to name a few. How did that initial experience help you grow as a producer and build relationships when working with other artists?”

“You’ve really done yeh research haven’t yeh?” YN giggles before going into a coughing fit, quickly bringing the red cloth over her mouth from the spicy wing. “Excuse me. Shit, sorry,” YN laughs before reaching for her tall glass of water.

“Is it finally starting to hit?”

YN takes a gulp of water, quickly licking her lips as she sniffles away the start of a running nose. Being as stubborn as ever, she shakes her head, “Nope.”

“We do have milk for you there if you need it,” Sean kindly points out and YN begins to chew on a piece of ice.

“Don’t need it, ‘fanks. Umm, oh right. Harry’s me best friend above all else and we’ve been writing together since as long as I can remember. We’ve gone through and learned about this process together for over a decade now. He’s considered one of me biggest clients and when we work together, I tell him the honest truth. I don’t like to suga’ coat shit and it’s how I work. That’s something that he knows, feel comfortable with, and respects. And there’s always that ‘something’ you learn about with every artist you work with. Like sure we can go into the studio cold turkey and make a song together but before I work with someone, I wanna take them outside of the mindset, ‘Okay, I wanna make a #1 hit single,’ and make a song that means something to them.”

YN swallows thickly, swinging her legs back and forth as she tries to get her thoughts in order from her spice-induced brain.

“With Harry, he’s sort of allowed me to explore and experiment when making music; he trusts me in that sense and as a producer, that’s the most important thing I can have when creating something as intimate as music.”

...

YN’s eyes widen when she sees Sean begin to shake the bottle, “O-oh we’re doing this?”

“It’s tradition around here to add a little bit more sauce on the last wing. Now you don’t have to if you don’t want to—”

“Seany boy, if there’s one thing yeh should know about me is that v’got a huge ego. But m’sure yeh already knew that,” YN just her hand out towards the host, wiggling her fingers while sucking in another sharp breath in hopes to ease the pain on her tongue. “Gimme that shit.”

With an uneasy sigh, YN shakes the bottle to pour some of the thick hot sauce to the last wing on the cutting board.

“Come on, YN,” YN whispers to herself. “You’re a bad bitch.”

Making sure to avoid her lips from touching the chicken as much as possible, she takes a heavy bite from the last wing.

She scrunches up her face as she chews but it turns into a pleasantly surprised expression. “Wait, what the fook that one was actually quite good. S’actually not that bad—oh shit, no nevermind.”

Sean chuckles at the rollercoaster of emotions displayed in front of him. YN gulps down as much water as she can.

“Okay, side question as you’re processing all of this: Since you have yet to reach for the milk we have for you, in your honest opinion, do you think Harry Styles could handle the range of spice that you’ve endured over the course of this show?”

YN chews and speaks around a mouthful of ice, “He can try but he wouldn’t make it past the second one.”

“Is that a little trash talk I hear?” Sean laughs.

“Listen up, baby,” YN leans her elbow on the table and points to the camera that’s solely directed on her. “I love yeh, you know I do, but you couldn’t eat any of this shit if yeh tried. Just the smell of it is gonna make your eyes water. Just looking out for you, lovie. And let’s face it, we both clearly know m’the stronger one here,” She blows a kiss at the camera and reaches for her water cup once again.

When she has the glass to her lips, she huffs out a giggle, “He’s gonna come after me for that later. Fook, s’like m’breahting fire right now.”

YN leans her forearms on the edge of the round table and balls her hands into fists to keep herself stable at the burning on her tongue intensifies.

“That last thing I wanna do before be close up shop here is play a little game of association. I’m going to throw out some stuff out to you and I want you to tell me the first thing that comes to your mind. Are you ready?”

“Hit me with ‘em.”

“Jacob Collier.”

YN scoffs and shakes her head with a smile, “A fookin’ mastermind.”

“The restaurant Danny’s Place.” YN throws her head back and laughs at how much research this guy actually did on her past. Her brain has turned into utter mush from the spicy chicken that she can’t come up with a polite, media-trained response.

“It’s still shit,” YN shrugs and she doesn’t even try to hide her smile.

“Loophole.”

“Woah,” YN’s eyes widen with a chuckle. “Oh my word. Hell yeah. Okay—you are like the best interviewer I’ve ever had in me life. Um, bitch’n.”

...

“Okay to this camera, this camera or this camera, tell the people what you’ve got going on lately.”

“Um—” YN blinks away her spice-induced tears away, sniffing and rubbing the red cloth to her runny nose. “M’currently on a world tour. So if yeh bought a ticket, I’ll see yeh lot very soon. Also, me new album Waiting Room comes out the day after tomorrow—Wait, when will this air? Well, it will be out very soon because I can’t really think straight at the moment. Erm, this show was a fookin’ piece of cake and Sean Evans is a legend.”

The Sean and the crew members behind the cameras all clap and cheer making YN laugh. Once the shoot is a wrap and the credits begin to show up at the bottom of the screen, YN gets up and out of her seat to give a hug to possibly her new favorite host.

“How often do you do this?” She genuinely asks.

“Every week.”

“You eat this spicy shit every week?” Sean nods and laughs at how wide her eyes get. “You’re a fookin’ legend, man. I mean it.”

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[anneapocalypse]

Why Anders and Fenris can't be friends (in the game)

Recently I made a short post that was supposed to stay that way, but instead it took over my brain for several days so I'm going to expand on it. In that post, I said:

"Why can't Fenris and Anders get along? Why can't they see what they have in common?" Because it's a story about how people can be practically and philosophically correct about a specific thing, and also get so mired in their own pain and trauma that they can't relate to people whose pain and trauma comes from a different source and who are right about something else, especially if trying to reconcile those two things would threaten their sense of self. And that is, imo, both more interesting and more true to the human experience than if they simply looked past all that without any difficulty.

So, with that as our starting point, why don't Anders and Fenris find common ground by the end of the game? Wouldn't that be a strong character arc for both of them, and aren't both characters lesser for not getting there? Is this an oversight, rushed development, bad writing?

I think the answer to these questions lies in the journeys that Anders and Fenris are each on over the course of the game, and in this post I'm going to explore both of their arcs a bit, where they’re both going and why their paths are divergent in the game. Specifically I mean to argue here that they cannot find common ground during the game because Fenris spends the game finding safety, while Anders spends the game becoming progressively less safe.

Disclaimer time! This post is not meant as a refutation of anyone’s ships or headcanons! You do you. What I hope to explore here is why things go the way they do in the game itself.

I’m also aware that this game has been out for over a decade, that there is nothing new under the sun, that both of these characters provoke strong feelings in a lot of us, and that some fans are just tired of hearing about them in general. If the latter is you, please feel free to scroll right on by; no need to inform me.

This analysis will necessarily involve discussing both characters’ flaws as well as their strengths (as well as those of some other characters), but it’s coming from a place of love and appreciation for these characters as complex and multi-faceted. Please refrain from expressing character hate on this post.

Content warnings: discussion of slavery, the Chantry explosion, abuse and trauma generally.

Anders' Journey

It has been said that Anders' character arc in DA2 is a downward spiral while Fenris is on a slow road to recovery. And I basically agree with that, but I don't think of it as a downward spiral in terms of negative character growth, precisely. While I do think there are ways in which Anders becomes less able and willing to empathize with others over the course of the game, I consider that more of a side effect of what's happening to him than a sign of him being on some kind of moral downturn.

To me, the downward spiral is that Anders spends the entire game losing hope.

As an apostate in Kirkwall (and a possessed one at that), I think it is important to recognize that Anders is never truly safe. It seems likely to me that the only reason he remains free for so long is because he happens to befriend some very powerful and influential people in Kirkwall—most notably, Varric Tethras, who is known to pay people off to keep his friends safe from the city's various criminal organizations, and I don't think it's unlikely that he's payed off templars as well.

Even in his closest circle of friends, Anders isn't completely safe. And it isn't Fenris who poses the greatest danger to him! The one character who actively suggests they turn in Anders (and Merrill) to the templars is Sebastian in Act III—and it's Fenris who brushes him off, telling him to "work it out with Hawke." I don't think Fenris would lose any sleep if it happened, but he actively declines to be a part of it. While Fenris is not above turning in mages generally (he will rat out Emile de Launcet to the Knight-Commander if brought along for “On the Loose”), there's no evidence that Fenris has ever made an active attempt to turn Hawke's mage companions over to the templars; if nothing else, he has too much respect for Hawke.

There's another companion who we know has turned mages in. Aveline and Anders get off to a pretty sour start right in Act I when Aveline asks if she can "consult" with him, and Anders guesses (rightly, it seems) that she just wants information on how to fight and kill mages. Needless to say, he is not forthcoming with help. Their Act II banter begins with Anders pointing out that she isn't a particularly mage-friendly Captain of the Guard, where Aveline counters that she’s only turned “a handful” over to the templars. Between Act II and Act III, there is a mounting tension between the two of them, with Anders in the final act doing his best to nudge Aveline away from defending the templars. Not even ideologically—he knows that's a losing battle with Aveline—but by bringing up Meredith's overreach and the fact that even Donnic doesn't agree with the Knight-Commander. When explaining to Hawke why he hasn't included them in the Mage Underground, Anders cites Hawke's connections to the nobility and to the Guard. It's no mystery who he's talking about.

There are people among Hawke's companions who pose an actual danger to Anders—and Fenris is not at the top of that list, no matter how much they may despise each other. And I think Anders' interactions with Fenris are especially vitriolic, not in spite of that fact, but because of it. I'd say similar of Merrill, the other companion Anders arguably has the most acrimony with. Neither Fenris nor Merrill poses any true threat to Anders. They are both elves who do not benefit from drawing attention to themselves; Merrill is a blood mage and Fenris an escaped former slave. While both of them hold views that make them philosophically or potentially dangerous, neither has ever actually acted against Anders.

Now, Anders does argue with Aveline and Sebastian. Repeatedly. He's not shy about stating his opinions and questioning theirs. But notice how the way he argues differs with each character. With Aveline, he appeals to her sense of order and propriety. With Sebastian, he appeals to his sense of righteousness. We see this particularly in Act III, once things have gotten especially dire. And he does start out similarly with Fenris, trying to draw a comparison between mages in the Circles and slaves in Tevinter—a tactic which utterly fails to move Fenris, and Anders drops it pretty quickly.

I think Anders' dialogue with Fenris gets especially nasty a) because Fenris is a rival against whom Anders can afford to vent his anger with less restraint, and b) because Fenris's existence makes Anders feel threatened in an entirely different way than Aveline and Sebastian. Anders knows that the Captain of the Guard and the noble-turned-Chantry-brother are not on his side, and it is in his best interest to be persuasive toward them, but also philosophically they're opposed to him in a way that he finds easy to refute. He is very firm in his convictions that the Circles are unjust and that they are a corruption of what Andraste taught and fought for. He may have little chance of actually persuading Aveline and Sebastian, but he's also in no danger of being persuaded by them. In other words, they may threaten his physical safety and that of other mages, but they do not challenge his core beliefs, his sense of self.

But Fenris does.

Anders has spent most of his life locked up for being a mage, running away and being caught, and subject to profound abuses. Since his final escape and joining with Justice, he has found purpose and hope in fighting for the cause of mage freedom. If his cause is just, then it is worth living for and fighting for, what he has lost he can endure, and what he’s had to do for that cause is justified. If he admits to himself that magic is itself a power that can be abused, that magic has anything to do with the atrocities Tevinter, that calls his purpose into question. If the unchecked use of magic has the potential to create a society just as unjust as the one he knows, that unravels his present idea of justice, which is quite literally part of his identity!

And maybe if this were a different story, Anders' arc would be about confronting those challenges and deciding how to move forward with them. But this isn't that story, because this is a story set in Kirkwall, where the templars' abuses of power over mages are happening right now, right in front of him, and every effort he makes to change that is systematically crushed.

This is really critical to Anders' arc! He is not a character who has spent the whole game achieving his goals and then escalating those goals. Almost everything he has tried to do has failed. And it's really not due to any strategic failing on his part; the Circle is just too powerful. His attempt to save Karl introduces this theme right at the beginning. Anders does his best; he does everything he can. But he is up against forces he cannot stop. Karl is doomed by the narrative so that we can understand what Anders is facing.

And it does not get any better! There's another tumblr post out there about how every companion quest for Anders is basically you go to see how he's doing, and he's doing bad. And it's true! Because things just keep getting worse. His Act II quest "Dissent" gives us a firsthand glimpse of the abuses taking place inside the Circle. "Dissent" is sometimes read as an example of Anders' paranoia, because both the Knight-Commander and the Grand Cleric had rejected Ser Alrik's plan to make all mages tranquil. I don't fully agree with that reading. Anders knows that such a proposal has been drawn up, and he is absolutely correct about that. He just doesn't know it’s been rejected, and frankly from where he’s standing, he has every reason to worry it might not be. Furthermore, Anders tells Hawke that there are templars within the Circle, most notoriously Ser Alrik, who are misusing the Rite of Tranquility even by Circle standards and who enjoy torturing and abusing mages—and then we see exactly that firsthand with Alrik and Ella, so Anders was entirely correct in that case.

By Act III, the Mage Underground has been completely dismantled, the Knight-Commander has openly seized control of Kirkwall, and half of Anders' own social group will still barely admit there's a problem. His ambient dialogue as early as the end of Act II is "I can't go on like this." It's hard not to feel the sheer despair radiating off Anders by the third Act.

His attack on the Chantry is not something he was always planning and working toward. It's a last resort he undertakes because every other avenue has failed. In seven years, he has helped to free individual mages, but he has made no progress toward dismantling or frankly even improving the Circle as a whole; in fact, it's only gotten worse. Now the lives of every mage in the Circle are threatened as Meredith seeks the Right of Annulment for little more than suspicions of blood magic. Individual rescues are not a solution. His written appeals to the public have had little practical effect. If he wants to save Kirkwall's mages, he has very few options left.

And if you listen to the way Anders speaks—if you look at his face after the explosion as he waits for Hawke's response—he is not happy about this. He is not dancing on the ashes. In fact, he looks heartbroken. There is collateral damage from the Chantry explosion and Anders knows there will be and he does not take that lightly. This is foreshadowed very well in a piece of banter with Isabela:

Anders: There is justice in the world. Isabela: Is there? You want to free the mages. Let's say you do, but to get there, you kill a bunch of innocent people. Isabela: What about them? Don't they then deserve justice? Anders: Yes.

Anders accepts this justice. He leaves Hawke out of his plans regardless of whether Hawke would have supported him because he means to accept the consequences for himself. He accepts whatever sentence he is given without resistance.

Regardless of how you feel about Anders' attack on the Chantry (and I'd prefer not to fight with anyone about that here), I recount all of this to make the point that his arc in the game is a long slide into despair and desperation, and for what I think are very understandable reasons. And over these seven years, it's pretty clear that Anders feels increasingly alone in his efforts. He feels like everyone is against him. There are things he feels he cannot tell even Hawke, no matter how supportive Hawke may be, because of Hawke's connections.

These are basically the worst possible conditions for a person to be able to extend patience and empathy to someone of very different experience with whom they are ideologically at odds.

Anders straight up doesn't have any energy, or emotional bandwidth, or whatever you want to call it, left for that. When he says, "I am the cause of mages. There is nothing else inside me," he means it. He is drained—emotionally, spiritually, probably physically, in all possible ways. He is particularly caustic in the back half of the game, and at times says some truly mean and petty things to and about other characters and I will not defend those things, but it is so understandable to me why he gets like this, stretched absolutely to the breaking point and ready to snap.

Anders' journey in Dragon Age II is a tragedy. Depending on the choices Hawke makes, it may not be the end of his story; there is still the possibility that he lives to see a changing world in which he himself can begin, after all these years, to breathe easier, to heal. I think that's going to be a long process, but it is absolutely possible.

Within the timeframe of the game itself, I don't think it is possible for Anders to go on the journey he's on and also figure out how to get along with Fenris. In fact I think those two things are antithetical to each other. Post-game, the world is wide with possibility. But not in the game itself. "Learn how to play well with others" (especially others who are diametrically opposed to everything he believes in) is so emphatically not the story being told with Anders in this game, and the entire climax of the game is built on top of the story it's been telling us with Anders. Because of that, I cannot see "Anders and Fenris become friends" as what could have been or what should have been. It's not just an add-on in this case; it's a change that rewrites the whole story.

Fenris's Journey

Upon arriving in Kirkwall, Fenris's history does at first glance share a lot of commonalities with Anders: he is an escapee who's managed to evade his captors for a few years now, and in Kirkwall he finds reason to settle down, though he is not out of danger yet.

But their paths start to diverge pretty much immediately.

First, let's just acknowledge that Kirkwall is, objectively, a safer city for Fenris than it is for Anders. That's not to say it is truly safe; Danarius is still hunting for Fenris and has connections in Kirkwall, and no human city is particularly safe for elves. Fenris finds himself pursued at some point in every act, culminating with Danarius himself in Act III.

Fenris is, however, much more able to defend himself against hired mobs of slavers operating illegally in the south than a lone apostate is able to defend him against an army of templars who have the backing of the city guard should they decide to actually come for him. Fenris's pursuers do not rule Kirkwall, and they don't have the guard on their side; they do not have a base of operations just a short boat ride away, and they are not sending troops to daily patrol the streets and look for a person of his description.

Had Fenris stayed in Tevinter, that would be exactly his situation, and if Anders had fled north, the templars tracking him would likely have faced more difficulty apprehending him. But this story doesn't take place in Tevinter, it takes place in Kirkwall, and Fenris has some advantage here just by nature of have escaped to the south.

Is Fenris truly safe in Kirkwall? No, and that's the setup for his whole character arc. The critical difference is that Fenris's arc is toward finding safety, while Anders' is not.

Let us note also that there is no one in Hawke's immediate friend group actively threatening to sell Fenris back into slavery. The Captain of the Guard, while she needles him about squatting in Hightown, also does not take the side of slavers. Even the pirate is against the trafficking of people. The only one in that group who has the potential to do such a thing to Fenris is Hawke, and only if Hawke decides to recruit Fenris, pretend to be his friend for seven years (even rivalries are still fundamentally friendships, just more challenging and complicated ones), before selling him out for, at most, a sum that should frankly be an insult to Hawke at that point in their career.

Hawke’s mage companions feel like threats to Fenris, yes, because his life experience has led him to conclude that no mage is truly safe. Anders and Merrill in particular represent the additional dangers of abominations and blood mages, respectively. But Anders’ core convictions pose a particular challenge not only to Fenris’ worldview, but to the very sense of safety he has only just begun to have.

Fenris spent most of his life enslaved and subjected to profound abuses. Since his escape to the south, he has found a sense of safety in the black-and-white concept that mages are dangerous and only non-mages can be trusted. If this is true, it means that in a world where mages are locked up, he can be safe. If what happened to him is, even in a broad sense, not unique to a land ruled by mages, then it could happen anywhere. (And unfortunately, that’s true. The slave trade is alive and well in the south, illegal though it may be, as we see in our many encounters with slavers.) If he admits to himself that many mages are just like him–subject to profound abuse and deserving of freedom—that sense of safety he is building for himself as a free man in the south is shattered. While he is still on the run, actively evading capture, this is not a possibility he is emotionally able to entertain.

It may be said that Fenris’s arc is about learning to let go of his anger; I disagree with that reading, or at least I think it is a very incomplete one. For one thing, it misses the very important point that the person his anger is for is still alive and actively pursuing him for most of the game. It’s easy to take Flemeth’s remark to Fenris, “The chains are broken, but are are you truly free?” as like, a philosophical statement, but no! He literally is not truly free so long as he still has to live as a fugitive, always looking over his shoulder, always waiting for the inevitable. He tells this to Hawke right in Act I: he will never truly be free until Danarius is dead, and if Danarius doesn’t show up eventually, Fenris will go hunt him down himself.

He is angry about this. He carries a deep rage not only for what has been done to him, what has been stolen from him, but also that even now Danarius is still taking from him and fucking up his life. Listen to the fury with which he says, “I was a fool to think I was free,” during “A Bitter Pill” in Act II.

And he needs that anger. Right now, that anger is still protecting him. It gives him the courage, as he says, to “turn and face the tiger.” His hatred of Hadriana compels him to seek her out and kill her rather than running again. And killing Hadriana is absolutely the right decision! There is nothing to be gained from leaving her alive, she certainly doesn’t deserve his mercy, and taking her out of the picture eliminates one more tool Danarius can use against him.

Where this scene shows Fenris’s need for growth is when he then lashes out at Hawke, regardless of their response. His anger isn’t the problem; his anger is valid and necessary. The problem is that it sometimes targets the wrong people: mages generally and his own friends in specific. But until Danarius is dead, Fenris cannot let go of that anger because it is necessary for his survival.

If you’re a Fenris fan, you know that moment in Act III in the Hanged Man, when he’s come to meet Varania and he sees Danarius. The expression on his face when the camera zooms in is nothing like the way he looks at Hadriana, with unfettered rage. The look when he sees Danarius is pure horror. He’s been waiting for this confrontation for ten years, but I think in that moment we realize he has also been terrified of it. He remembers what happened the last time he had a taste of freedom and Danarius came for him, and though he knows he has grown since then, those emotions are still there—the horror of having turned on the people who sheltered him, the shame of realizing how deep his conditioning was, the revulsion at what Danarius had made him. Anger has kept those feelings at a distance, but now, with Danarius before him at last, he must confront them all over again. Only this time, with friends at his back, he will fight.

With Danarius dead, it’s finally over. And whether Fenris chose to kill or spare his sister, he is now forced to confront the person he’s had to be to survive until this point.

The point of Fenris’s restlessness and dissatisfaction following his victory isn’t that killing Danarius was wrong or pointless. On the contrary: we have seen throughout the entire game that there was no other way for him to truly find freedom. At the risk of getting too clinical here, trauma (which includes long periods of unrelenting high stress) tends to leave people with emotions and coping mechanisms that were necessary for their survival at the time but become maladaptive once they are away from their trauma stressors. We have already seen this with Fenris, in the way his anger sometimes targets the wrong people, and Fenris himself is aware of this, at least in his interpersonal relationships: on his own initiative he seeks Hawke out to apologize after lashing out at them. In Act II, I think we even see the early stages of Fenris beginning to extend his circle of empathy after “Dissent,” when instead of calling Anders a monster, he suggests that Anders realize his limitations, adding that it was a suggestion, not a condemnation. I think it helps in that moment that Anders seems to take responsibility for what he did, or almost did, to Ella, even if he understandably does not react well to Fenris’s “suggestion.”

And now that Danarius is dead, Fenris is beginning to realize that while his fight for freedom is over, his path to healing has really just begun. There’s a reason he isn’t ready for a romantic relationship with Hawke until Act III, and it isn’t just that intimacy was triggering or the brief recovery of his memories upsetting. Until Danarius is dead, Fenris’s emotional growth really can only go so far, because he is still at least partly stuck in survival mode, and the anger and the blanket concept of “mages dangerous” are coping mechanisms he has developed in order to survive.

With Danarius dead, now Fenris can begin to let go. Now he can go further in examining who deserves his anger and who does not. Now he can begin to truly heal. And can he learn to sympathize with mages one day and stop seeing magic as the ultimate evil? I actually do think the answer is yes. But that’s at least a five-step plan, and his arc in the game is mainly concerned with accomplishing step 2. Step 1 was “Get out of Tevinter.” Step 2 was “make Danarius dead.” The next few steps are a lot less cut and dry, involving a lot of difficult emotional work. He has begun that process, but it’s a work in progress.

With friends to support his journey, I do think Fenris can still come a long way. I just don’t think he could possibly have gotten there before Act III.

Conclusions

Fenris and Anders are on very different journeys over the course of Dragon Age II. They cannot be friends or sympathize with one another in the timeframe of the game, not because they have nothing in common, but because neither of them are in a position to let their guard down in the ways they would have to in order to connect with each other. Neither of them have reached the level of healing they would need in order to do that, and it’s not possible for either of them to reach that point in the journeys they’re on during the game, with the stories the game is telling.

That doesn’t mean, however, that it’s not possible for them to reach that point in the future. Under the right circumstances, both of them may have the rest of their lives to heal and to grow.

#fenris #anders #dragon age meta #dragon age 2 #blunders of thedas

[m-jelly]

All I need - Chapter 8

@ladycheesington <3

Levi x fem!reader

Future Fic, Romance, Drama & Romance, Falling In Love, mafia, Gangsters, Love, True Love, Fluff, Protective Levi, Possessive Levi, suggestive moment.

In this chapter: Levi gets needy for your attention. You make a move against Ariana. Levi and you start planning and booking things for your wedding.

The end

“Staring at me like that won’t solve anything, Levi.” You lowered your tablet and smiled at him. “You’re pouting now.”

Levi flopped onto his side with his head on your lap and whined again. “Bunny.” He opened his mouth and bit your thigh. “Mm!”

“Seems like I have a shark on my lap.”

He rubbed his face on you. “Pay attention to me.”

You played with Levi’s hair. “I am.”

He wrapped his arms around you and pressed his face against your stomach. “No, you’re not. I need more. I need extra attention. I need super attention.”

“Well, if you pull your head from my tummy, I can kiss you.”

He lifted his head from you. “Really?”

You locked your tablet and wrapped your arms around Levi. “Yes.”

He leaned up and started showering your face with kisses. “I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.”

You giggled as Levi kept kissing you. “I love you too, my handsome grumpy.”

He hugged you tightly. “What were you doing on your tablet that was more important than kissing me?”

You laughed as you played with his hair. “You are so grumpy today.”

“I just think it is a crime that you won’t let me give you love all the time.” He sat up before yanking you onto his lap so your back was against his chest. He bit your shoulder and growled. “I should arrest you.”

You leaned your head back on his shoulder. “Do it. You know I love it.”

He wrapped his arms around you and hummed, he just surrounded you with his body and it was so comforting to you both. “What were you so focused on?”

“I was just causing chaos.”

“What kind?”

You leaned over and picked up your tablet before unlocking and showing Levi what you’d been up to. “I have been bidding on buildings.”

He looked at the ones you had bought. “They’re in good locations.”

“I bought it with my money, but you paid me so technically it is yours.”

He squeezed you. “You can have all my money if you want. We have a joint bank account.”

Your cheeks burned at Levi’s statement. It surprised you how much trust this man had in you. “Thank you, but I wanted to use a bit of my own money. However, seeing how you’re interested in what I’m doing and offering to pay, I will tell you what I’m up to.”

He kissed the side of your head. “I’m all ears.”

You released a long sigh. “Well, Ariana has really pissed me off. She tried to kill my man and she had the balls to face me after with Danny. So, I’m pissing her off.”

“Have you hired a hitman?”

You chuckled. “No, because killing her is too easy, my darling grumpy. I want her to suffer. Money and fame matter to her more than anything. So, I’m going to ruin her.” You went through the places you’d bought. “All these places she wants. I have been keeping an eye on her and her social media. Any time she shows the slightest interest in a place, I take it from her. I’m going to take everything from her and become more powerful and influential than her. If she’s going to go to an event, I’ll be there and I’ll look better than her and even sponsor the event. I want to break her.”

Levi stared at you for a while as his heart raced in his chest. A blush spread on his cheeks before he adjusted so you didn’t feel something hard growing against your back. “Fuck, I am so attracted to you right now. You’ve become a dangerous Ackerman.”

You giggled at Levi’s words before turning around and straddling him. “Well, I am going to be your wife soon. Speaking of wife, we should start planning the wedding, my love.”

“I have ideas.” He gripped your bum hard. “We should book a venue soon. I’m thinking we go cake tasting.”

You bounced up and down on his lap. “Yes! I can’t wait.” You cupped Levi’s face. “Oh, there is an event that Ariana is going to. It is a charity event and a lot of rich people are going.” You held up your tablet to face Levi. “It’s a great charity too. I think we should register, donate and go.”

Levi read through it and smirked. “You’re a smart little bunny. We’ll have to buy you the best dress money can buy.”

“Thank you, but I would prefer a nice dress at a good price.”

He pouted a bit. “Okay, but I want to spoil you.”

You played with his hair a little. “You spoil me all the time.”

“I need to do it more.” He leaned closer and bit your cheek making you squeak. “I want to eat you.” He hugged you against him and pressed his face against the crook of your neck. “Don’t leave me.”

“Why would I leave you? I want to marry you. I want you as mine forever.”

He gave you another squeeze. “Good. I need you. I’m nothing without you.”

You smiled at how sweet he was. “You are someone without me. You were someone before me.”

He cupped your face and gazed deep into your eyes. “No.”

“No?”

He pouted. “No.”

You hummed a laugh. “Okay, handsome.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

He kissed your chest and the top of your breasts. “I love you.” He lifted his head and gazed at you. “I used to live a life going through the motions of the world. I worked to survive. I educated myself to better myself at work. I ate because I had to. I only ever thought of what would happen the next day. However, when I met you, the world changed. You changed me. I started thinking further ahead in life. Work was something I did to support us and became less of my life. Education was something I did to impress you and keep you safe. Food became a delight and an enjoyment. You slipped your way into a small corner of my heart and slowly spread your loving arms around it. I became lost in you. You have consumed my very heart and soul and I know there is no going back. To lose you would mean not knowing how to live because I live for you.”

Tears filled your eyes. “That was beautiful.” You rubbed your tears away. “You make me feel so loved. It takes my breath away so much. You are the best thing that ever happened to me.”

Levi held you close. “You and me forever, my darling bunny.” He leaned closer to kiss you and paused when he heard your tummy rumble. “I’m a terrible fiancé! My darling bunny is hungry and I never noticed.”

You giggled. “I’m okay.”

He stood up with you in his arms. “I need to get you as much food as possible.”

“Could we order pizza?”

He paused as he gazed at you. “Yes.”

“You can put me down then.” You smirked as he stared at you. “You don’t wanna?”

He whined. “No.”

“Well, you need to so we can order.”

He reluctantly placed you down. “I will order.”

You opened your arms. “Hades! Come to mummy!” You giggled as he ran over to you. As soon as Hades jumped into your arms you fussed him and gave him little kisses. “Good boy. Levi, can you order Hades some chicken nuggets?”

“He shouldn’t have them.”

“Please?”

He released a long sigh. “Sure. You hold such power over me.”

You let Hades go and turned to Levi. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

You stretched and moaned causing Levi to inspect every inch of your body. “Mm, I can’t wait to call you my husband.”

Levi purred as he made his way over. “My wife. Mine.” He wrapped his arms around then slipped his hand up your shirt. “I want you.”

You shivered at his touch. “How long until our food gets here?”

He licked your neck. “Half an hour.”

“Can you manage just one session into that?”

He chuckled. “Watch me.”

Ariana was slowly losing her mind and it was taking everything within her not to take it out on Danny because she needed to prove to him that you were wrong. So, she was gripping her clutch bag tightly to combat her rage. Someone was buying all the places she was interested in getting so she could spread her power, not only was someone doing that but information was spreading about her meaning people were finding out she was a wicked person to the core.

Danny called for her. “We’re here.” He slipped out of the limo and held the door open for her. “Can you walk in that dress? It looks tight.”

She had to slide across to the door before getting out. “Shut up. I can.”

He released a long sigh before looking at the event and had to smirk, he had lost you to Levi and stung so badly but seeing you and Levi pissing his mother off brought him joy. It appeared that you and Levi had become the biggest sponsors of the event and you were all over the building. “That’ll piss her off.” He looked back into the car.

Ariana climbed out of the car and fixed her dress. “Not a single crease. I am sure I will be setting the standards tonight.” She looked ahead to see you and Levi’s name on everything. “What!? How!?”

“The Ackermans have a lot of power.” He turned on his heels. “We should go inside. You can still steal the show.”

She held her head high. “You’re right. As soon as people see me they will bow down to me.”

“Sure.”

She moved upstairs and slipped inside with her son at her side. The smirk on her face increased when she saw you and Levi were no-shows, which meant she was the centre of attention. People still respected her for being the first wife and having power after. As people flocked to her the happier she was. She wanted to be adored and enjoyed it, it was like an addiction. She felt such strong fulfilment when people complimented her, her looks and her strength. Her smile started to fade when people started talking and they couldn’t believe she would show her face in public after what she’d done.

Her happiness was ruined even further when people slowly lost interest. She tried to tell the same old stories about her life, as well as how she had been hurt a lot recently but no one cared. Panic set in a little as she talked about her outfit being a designer as her last-ditch effort to gain attention. She was so desperate, but still, people didn’t want to know. The mask she wore around people was slowly slipping and she was losing her mind.

The worst part for her was yet to come. The last part of the group left her when a car outside pulled up and Levi climbed out first before helping you out. Everyone at the party made a big fuss over you and Levi. It surprised people that the outfits you wore were not top-of-the-line things like others, there were no neon colours. You wore a dazzling long figure showing off a galaxy dress that showed how beautiful the universe was. Levi’s suit was black like never seen before, it was hypnotic with a slight sparkle of a black hole.

Seeing a smile on both your faces irritated Ariana. Her hatred was originally towards Kuchel and Levi, but no matter how hard she tried not to, it was becoming you. She was sure that you were targeting her as well because every time she locked eyes with you, you would cheekily smirk at her just to irritate her further. At your arrival at the party the music changed and the lights too, it was as if a smooth and relaxed atmosphere filled the room.  It seemed like everything was captivated by the two of you, you didn’t even need to do or say anything to gain instant power over those in the room.

As you walked elegantly past Ariana you gave her the side eye and a smirk before flicking your hair, almost like you were brushing her off. She glanced at Danny to see he was falling for you all over again like he was fully transfixed by your beauty and grace. Each laugh, smile and word that came from you was worshipped and adored by all those around you.

Levi was beginning to notice how a lot of men were eyeing you up, but you were his so he needed to make it known to those around him. He slipped his arm around you and tugged you against him before kissing you. “Mine.”

Your cheeks burned a little. “Levi, it’s not like you to be very affectionate in public.”

He growled as he pulled you closer. “I know, but people need to know that you are mine.” He flicked his gaze over to a few men. “People need to see it.”

“It flusters me.” You giggled. “I like it.”

He stood you up and walked with you to the drinks area. “Get anything you want and need, my bunny.”

You shivered as he stood behind you and started gripping and massaging your body. You leaned your head back a little and started to moan softly. “Levi.”

“I bet you would have looked so sexy in that bunny dress.”

“Thank you, but that dress is for you only.”

He purred. “I can’t wait to see you in it.”

You grabbed his hands and pulled him off you to stop him from feeling you up. “Two drinks, please. We would like something fruity but a tiny bit sour.”

The barman winked. “You got it. Two cocktails for the best couple.”

You turned in Levi’s arms and smiled at him. “Best couple.”

He leaned down and kissed you. “We are the best. We should get married.”

“We will. We’ve booked the place, we just need to do the small things and it’s all sorted.”

He tapped his forehead against yours. “Cake tasting soon.”

You squealed in delight. “That’s going to be fun.”

“Do you have any idea of what kind you want?”

You hummed in thought. “A lemon drizzle cake would be perfect.”

He smiled a little. “That would be a good one.”

“Or carrot cake.”

He nuzzled his nose against yours. “Well, that makes sense because you are a bunny.”

You pouted a bit. “I don’t eat a lot of carrots.”

“Well, I can think of one carrot you have a lot.”

You huffed. “It’s your fault it is so addictive.”

He kissed your ear before whispering. “It’s all your fault that your pussy, clit and breasts are so perfect. Don’t get me started on your moans.”

Glass tapped on the bar behind you. As soon as you turned with a racing heart the barman smiled. “I hope you enjoy two lemon drop martinis.”

You gasped in delight. “Yum! Thank you.” You picked up your glass and sipped. “Oh, Levi you’ll love this.”

He took his and sipped. “Mm, that’s delicious. Thank you.”

The barman bowed. “Happy to serve.”

Levi guided you to a VIP part of the party reserved for the big donors of the charity. He snuggled up to you on the loveseat. “You’re so perfect.”

You mewled in delight. “So are you.” You leaned against Levi and relaxed. “I feel so comfy and relaxed in your arms.”

“You want to sleep?”

“I would love to.” You turned your head and kissed his neck. “But I can’t because we have to annoy Ariana a bit more.”

Levi chuckled. “She seems pissed off. You have a talent for pissing her off.”

You downed some of your drink. “I think that’s a good thing.”

“It is. Vincent and I appreciate it. For a long time, we’ve been wondering how to break her, but you come walking in and destroy her.”

You hummed a laugh. “Speaking of the devil, she’s coming over with my ex.”

Levi growled. “Your ex.”

“I don’t like him anymore.”

He huffed a bit. “I know, but it pisses me off that he had you before me.”

“Well, you’re going to be marrying me. You won.”

He puffed his chest out a little. “You’re right, you’re mine.”

Ariana stormed over to you and Levi. “I need a word with the two of you.”

“That was more than a word.”

She snarled at Levi but gave a strained smile when she realised people were watching. “Levi, you funny man. You know what I mean. I just want to talk with you.”

He hummed in thought. “Is it about how you had me shot twice and my fiancée once, or is it about how you tortured your firstborn son until he was legally taken from you, or is it about how you are desperate to kill my and my mother, or is it about this fantastic charity event.”

You rubbed Levi’s chest. “Could be anything, grumpy. Maybe she’s asking us about our wedding, or how I have bought a lot of buildings recently.”

Ariana glared at you. “That was you?”

You giggled. “I wanted to get into business and Levi helped! Oh, were they places you wanted? I’m so sorry, I didn’t know. Well, if you wanted them they must have been good.”

In a small amount of time with quick action, she lunged for you but Levi was skilled. His hand wrapped firmly around her wrist as his other arm stopped inches from her neck. If Levi didn’t hold back, it was likely he would have broken something in Ariana’s neck. He didn’t want to have her blood on his hands at an event for good deeds. Plus, you still had plans for her and this was a perfect moment to humiliate her again.

Levi sighed and spoke loudly so people heard him. “Do not lay a finger on my bunny again. She is fragile from having her spine replaced after a bullet ripped through her due to your command. She is my precious bunny I will marry.” He released her. “This is also a charity event. Show some fucking respect. This isn’t about your selfish needs but about those who have nothing.” He sat back down next to you and put his arm around you. “Do you want another drink?”

You nodded. “Yes, please.”

He leaned closer and kissed you. “You want something that tastes like strawberries?”

“Oh, yes, please. Kissing you after drinking one will be delicious.”

He chuckled. “It will.” He kissed the end of your nose before standing up. He stared at Ariana. “Why are you still here? We’re done talking.”

Ariana looked down at you and stammered your name with a fake smile. “Can we talk about those places you bought?”

You drank the last of your cocktail. “Mm, no.”

“Please, please talk to me about them. There are two that are important to me.”

You shifted in your seat. “How important?”

She laughed nervously. “It could change my life. It would bring in money. I need money.”

You looked at her dress. “Well, correct me if I’m wrong, but your dress is worth a couple of hundred thousand. Right?”

“W-Well…”

“You turned up in a top-of-a-line limo as well. I think you’re okay.”

Ariana slowly went red. “You…how…I…it’s all for show.”

You hummed and tapped on your communicator on your arm and brought up a post on social media about her dress. “Looks like your designer posted about your dress and how much it cost, they were proud of it.” You projected the post. “See? Or is that not you modelling the dress for them?”

She growled in frustration. “You’re trying to ruin me!”

“I am not trying to ruin you, I’m just being a businesswoman who wants people to know the truth.”

“I will kill you!” Panic set in when she heard people gasp and start to whisper about her. “I didn’t mean it!” She turned to everyone and laughed a little. “I was joking! It was a joke! I wouldn’t think about hurting her.”

You rose to your feet and moved your hair to show off your cybernetic spine. “But you have before.”

Levi walked over to you with the new drinks. “Here you go, my bunny. Everything okay?”

“Just putting my foot down.”

He kissed your neck. “Good girl.”

Ariana gasped as a bouncer came over. “What is happening?”

“You shouldn’t be here in this section. So, you need to be removed.”

The bouncer ushered her out. “Please leave the VIP area, miss. You are not meant to be here. You are also threatening our special guests here. You need to leave.”

“Do you know who I am!? I’m an important person!”

Levi sat with you. “It’s fun watching her be dragged off kicking and screaming.”

You giggled. “She needs to be careful or that dress will pop. She’s sewn into it.”

Levi groaned. “I don’t want to see what comes out of that dress.”

You smirked a bit. “Wanna see what comes out of mine?”

Levi perked up. “Oh you know I do. Can you wear the bunny dress?”

“Yes.”

You fixed your cute dress before smiling at Levi as you felt excited about what was going to happen. You hurried over to Levi to see he was wearing his spring things, which looked so good on him, he looked cute. Seeing his arms out was hot and you couldn’t wait to take him to a beach for your honeymoon. Levi had set the date for your wedding to be in the summer and he had booked the place, it was just perfect and all you needed to do was book everything else.

Levi pulled you against him and kissed you. “You ready to go wedding shopping?”

“Yes!”

He led you over to the living room to see Mike fussing Hades. “Thank you for looking after Hades while we’re out today.”

Mike wiggled Hades’s face before looking over. “You kidding me? I love dogs.”

You hurried over and petted Hades. “Thank you. Have fun together.”

Mike smirked. “Let me know if you go to a love hotel.”

You blushed. “We’re not. We’re just cake tasting and picking out a dress for me.”

“Yeah, so I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You blushed hard. “Shut up.” You hurried over to Levi. “Keep it in your pants today.”

Levi frowned a bit. “Huh?” He glanced over at Mike. “We’re you a pervert?”

Mike waved to Levi. “Have fun!”

Levi held your hand and walked along with you. “Come on.” He lifted your hand and showered it with kisses. “I can’t wait for all our meetings.”

You smiled. “Yes. What are we doing first?”

“Flowers.”

Your eyes sparkled as Levi drove you to the flower shop. “I’m thinking we go for like wildflowers. I think that will look pretty.”

He smiled at you. “Me too. I still want to look.”

“Same. Everything will be so pretty.”

He pulled up at the first spot and walked you inside. “So, what takes your eye?”

You picked up a simple bunch of flowers and hummed a moment. “This. This is pretty.”

He leaned closer and inhaled. “Mm, this smells nice.”

“I think so too. Do you think this would look good? I know you will tell me anything will look good, but I want you to be serious for a moment.”

He sighed, grabbed a few flowers together and swapped a few things over in your hands. “This.”

You bounced up and down. “Yes, it’s perfect.”

Levi kissed you. “The perfect bouquet. Now we need a wedding dress.”

You giggled. “We need to talk to the shop owner. We can’t run off and get married right now.”

He whined a bit before taking the flowers. “You’re right. I’ll talk to the lady.”

You held his hand and walked with him to the counter. It made your heart flutter as he talked to the owner and gushed about marrying you. All the flowers were booked for the wedding day and he gave over the location to her. Seeing Levi pay for everything really made it clear that you were going to marry him in a few months.

He walked with you out of the shop. “Okay, cake tasting and then dresses.”

You pouted a bit. “But if I eat, I’ll have a tummy.”

Levi kissed your neck. “Darling bunny, please don’t worry about your incredible body. You are perfect.”

You felt your cheeks burn. “Thank you.”

He drove through the city to the cake place. “If this place isn’t good we can go to another, but I heard that this place has the best reviews. It’s also a family mine have supported as well.”

You clapped your hands. “I love supporting local businesses.”

“That’s my girl.” He pulled up at the cake place before holding your hand and leading you inside. “Hi, do you want me to announce us?” He chuckled as a plump lady ran over to him as she squealed in delight. “Hello, Auntie June.”

The lady hugged Levi tightly. “Hello, sugar. You look so good and healthy.” She gasped as she took you in. “This must be because of this adorable muffin! I could just eat you up.”

You giggled as you introduced yourself. “Lovely to meet you.”

“Auntie June, everyone calls me that. So, you are here for wedding cakes, huh? What are you thinking?”

You nibbled your lip. “If I can’t choose, could we have, like, cupcakes?”

“Sure you can!” She put her arm around you. “Come this way, beautiful. We’ll eat together and you can pick what you want.”

You sat down and smiled at Levi. “I love this place already.”

Levi chuckled. “I knew you would.” He entwined his fingers with yours on the table. “We’re all yours, Auntie.”

She clasped her hands together. “I have a delightful selection for you both to try. Please, try everything you want and if you don’t like it that is perfectly fine.”

Levi leaned over when Auntie walked away. “I love you.” He kissed your cheek. “I’d rather eat you though.”

You backhanded his chest. “Levi, keep it in your pants. I told you.”

He growled and nipped your ear. “I keep thinking about cockwarming.”

You shivered a little. “Now I’m thinking about it.” You rubbed your thighs together. “I want it, but we have to behave.” You gasped when Levi massaged the inside of your thigh. “Le-Levi.”

“Why is it that I want to keep your pussy always stuffed full of my cum?”

You squeaked. “Levi. Calm your possessive and naughty side under control.”

He bit your earlobe. “Impossible.”

You grabbed his hand and sat up when Auntie June returned with a tray and tea. “They look delicious.”

She placed the tray down and smiled at you. “Thank you, my sweet thing. Now, enjoy everything. I’ve made sure to include a selection that both of you like. Levi told me all about things you love. So, I hope I got it right.”

Your cheeks burned. “Levi, you cute man.”

Levi kissed your cheek. “I want you to have a happy day. Plus, you are fascinating.”

“You are so romantic.” You cut a bit of the lemon cake and fed it to Levi. “So?”

He moaned in delight. “Incredible.”

You cut a bit and ate a slice. “Mm, this is so good. It’s perfect.”

Auntie blushed. “Thank you, but you should try the red velvet next, it has cream cheese to balance it.”

You tried a bit and hummed. “Mm, you’re right. This is so good. Levi, you have to try.”

Levi let you feed him. “You’re right, I like this one. I have a feeling we’re going to like them all.”

“Me too.”

#levi ackerman #levi #aot levi #snk levi #aot fanfiction #levi x y/n #fanfic #levi fanfiction #levi x you #levi x reader #jelly fanfics #levi x yn #levi ackerman x female reader #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x y/n

[mephinomaly]

[TL] BIOHAZARD/Chapter 12

[ This post uses Ois~su ♪ ]

Time: The next day

Location: ES building, RhythmLink office conversation space

Keito: (Just what are you planning on doing Sakuma!?)

(“I’ll be away for a few days. In my absence, take care of anything that happens at the office for me.” ? And you tell me this now?!)

(...Ever since we filmed “Vampire Shogun”, he’s been acting overly friendly.)

(Do you really think that I’ve forgotten everything you’ve done? That we’ve bonded again to the point that it’s like we’re childhood friends again?)

(If you thought such naivety would get through to me, who is past salvation…I’m insulted.)

(...Well, even if Sakuma doesn’t ask me to, I’d take care of anything that comes up for him.)

(As of late, UNDEAD seems to be in an unfortunate situation, and Ra*bits is tangled up with some influential figure–)

(Among us young ones in RhythmLink, the unit with the most momentum at the moment is us, AKATSUKI.)

(From this point, things start to get complicated. Well, on the surface at least…)

(Therefore we will take charge and ensure a bright future for the young ones in this agency.)

(To do that, I must be proactive and introduce myself to the higher ups!)

(I need to complete chores diligently, and take care of small tasks for my senpais!)

(At the moment, there’s a deep trench between RhythmLink higher ups and us. Let’s bridge this gap, and work together to bring this agency into a new era.)

Tomoya: Zzz, zzzz… ♪

Keito: …!? Mashiro? Why are you sleeping here on the sofa?

That’s dangerous… I almost sat on you. I could have squished you

Tomoya: Mmnhnnn…. H-hng? Where, am I?

Keito: Are you awake now?... Good morning, Mashiro.

Tomoya: Waah!? Aaa, g-g-good morning Hasumi-senpai!

Keito: Hm. Well done for greeting me properly.

More importantly, what are you doing sleeping here of all places?

Tomoya: Ah, um, I’m sorry… As you might know, things have been tricky as of late.

Keito: Are you a stray cat? If you’re going to sleep, go back to your own room. You need to sleep in a proper bed otherwise you’ll hurt yourself.

Tomoya: I know… But this is an important time for us, so I have to try my hardest.

Keito: Is there anything I can do?

Tomoya: Ah, there is something I wanted to ask you. There’s something I want to do using the SSVRS–

But um, UNDEAD are currently using it, so. I have some of the things I need but I don’t think it’s enough.

Keito: What? UNDEAD are using the SSVRS?

Tomoya: Yes. When I applied to use it, the person in charge told me that.

Keito: They’re away taking part in some sort of secret plan. And that plan involves using the SSVRS?

Tomoya: Oh? I didn’t know about that, so maybe they’re not really away?

I thought they were going to take part in a live broadcast today.

Keito: Live broadcast? Is that a part of the secret plan too? You know quite a lot about the activities of other units, don’t you?

Tomoya: Ahaha. I think that’s one of my strong points, and since I like it, I’m good at it. Well, my love of idols has been stolen by Shiratori.

Ah, look. They’re live already. A special emergency broadcast from UNDEAD.

Keito: Emergency broadcast? Are they disbanding?

Tomoya: No, I don’t think so. UNDEAD are a popular unit, so.

Hm? What are they saying? Isn’t that weird?

Keito: What is it, show me.

Tomoya: Look at it on your own phone please~...?

Keito: Fine. …Hm, what is this? What are these costumes they’re wearing?

What are they singing— is that their debut song?

No, that was a slightly different song. This is one of the songs they were deciding on for their debut live.

There was quite a lot of reasons why they didn’t end up singing it—

Tomoya: You’re quite well informed too. Are you an UNDEAD fan too, Hasumi-senpai?

Keito: Hm. There’s been a lot going on with them since they formed, really even before that.

But why are they singing that? A song from ages ago that nobody remembers?

Are they planning on going back to their roots? It’s true UNDEAD have been on decline recently, but enough to do that?

Fumu, HELLSING, was it? As in that famous vampire exterminator, Van Helsing? No, isn’t the spelling different?

‘Hell’, as in the underworld, and ‘sing’ as in, to sing.

How ominous. What the hell are those guys up to this time…?

[ ☆ ]

Chapter 11

Directory

PYSCHOBREAK/Chapter 1

#ensemble stars #enstars #translation #tomoya mashiro #keito hasumi #undead climax #biohazard

[lordystrange]

other anon: “he hangs out with a bad crowd who's a lot older than him and he seems to be quite an impressionable ppl pleaser”

I think people need to look at that for the reality of it then. which is there are 30+ year old people attaching themselves to a (very freshly) 19 year old (who they met at 18 or even younger, so a child), with their own agendas and mindsets. a lot of these people he met on the manipulative propaganda trip earlier in the year where they use his beautiful religion and culture for promo of the country. it’s routine, wasn’t just him doing it. and they’ve kept the contact up. oh you know they love it, freaks leeching off him. and I don’t need anybody saying I’m making excuses for his choices when it’s not the case, I just thought it’s important to note the phrasing in some ways people speak about noah.

because things like “when I was 19 I wasn’t like that” from people mean nothing. congrats I guess! you’re actually still immature for saying that instead of understanding not everyone grows up like you do, so you have some growth to do anyway 😊. statements like that neglect the truth of his age, the fact that it is not the same as all the middle aged people with decades of damage and chances to educate themselves behind them, is he closer to 40 or is he closer to 17? or 14? he is grown enough to make decisions like hanging out with certain people, but that does not stop manipulation and harm done especially for - as other anon said - a people pleaser. I swear people speaking don’t know a thing about indoctrination. has anyone heard of the disease of US patriotism? was that not also bad and shown to be running deep a few years ago? how is that different, especially after an attack that would have the influential adults around you in high emotion likely parroting some ignorant beliefs (because believe it or not, there isn’t a huge jewish population worldwide for uhhh… a pretty well known reason actually! and the fact of the matter is that pretty much everyone knows someone living in isn’treal. many fucking idiots have overblown that attack of course, but the direct emotional ties are real - people just stretched it thin.)

I don’t ask people to justify his actions or make it some parasocial going easy on him situation, it’s just being able to have a wider view of the situation is important and what nobody is doing. instead favoring getting popular tweets and wishing death on him for extremely small things in the grand scheme of politicians and people in govt with actual real influence, or brett for eg. noah is not the person anybody should be prioritizing, he’s an easy target and everybody looks so painfully stupid hating on him daily like that’s doing anything for the cause they all supposedly care about.

don’t even get me started on the amount of antisemitic lean a lot of posts about noah have, that is not or will it ever be ok. you need to learn your history, people, and be careful of dog whistles in your performative rage.

Thank you for the ask.

And you’re right. If we want to be critical about him (which we should be), we have to be critical about the whole situation.

People also seem to forget, that US and Israel are a lot alike. Both are colonizers and their governments are committing actions that are lethal. Yet I don’t see people canceling celebrities who support US.

(I’m aware that the situations are different, but I still think this topic should be talked about more.)

And the age thing is also important to notice here. I was at my dumbest at 19. And while I’d like to believe that age doesn’t matter that much when everyone’s an adult, it does. It just does. I know there were rumours of Noah dating that old guy and there’s nothing to confirm it’s true, but also nothing to confirm it’s not. But if it is true and if he is the ”source” of Noah’s behavior lately, I hope the situation changes.

Very sorry for turning your ask into speculation. But it is honestly a very likely possibility.

#noah schnapp

[everythingwritingg]

Creating a Fictional Culture

@everything.writing on IG

There are so many elements that go into creating a culture, such as food, clothing, customs, and traditions, just like in real cultures. However, in certain stories, creating a fictional culture is extremely important for the worldbuilding of your book. Let’s get started on the ways to create a fictional culture.

Create a belief system. A critical component is a belief system. What does the culture believe is important? Do they believe in hard work, honesty, or kindness? Do they value family first and foremost? Think about what core beliefs your culture holds, and this is the basis of the rest of the components of the culture that follows.

What are the social norms? Belief systems often lead to social norms that value from culture to culture. For example, a culture that values family and the wisdom of elders will often teach the youth to give special respect to elders. Is there a certain way people greet each other, to show respect? Etc.

Any traditions/rituals? Is your culture religious? If so, what religious traditions do they have? What holidays do they have, and how do they celebrate these holidays? What is the significance of these traditions? How do people not from that culture perceive their traditions? Are there any “bad” traditions, such as human sacrifice?

Does the culture have its own language? Many, but not all, cultures have a distinct language. This language can be a way for members of the culture to connect and communicate. If you choose to, you can include a few words of that language in your book. Though be careful with this one, you don’t want to add way too many fictional language words because that often can confuse the reader and make the story hard to read.

What is the technology like? Does that community believe that simple and traditional is best, that new technological innovations are a harm to society, and they live off the grid? Or do they enjoy innovative technologies and enjoy adapting to new ways of living? Also, how does your culture’s technology affect the way people travel, communicate, and live their daily lives?

What is their economy like? Do they disvalue money and materialism, and instead, live in a communal society? Do they not have any specific currency and trade items instead? Or they have a specific currency? If so, does the currency have specific influential people on the bills or the coins?

What is the history of that culture? Though you certainly don’t have to mention everything about the history of your culture, having a little background knowledge on how that culture was founded could make it easier to plan the other elements of the culture. Think about who founded your culture, when, where, etc.

How does your main character interact with the culture? Do they wholeheartedly embrace it and spread the traditions onto their children? Or are they ashamed of it? If so, why? Is it because of social pressures or do they disagree with the fundamental beliefs of that culture? Do they love their culture, but want to reform a few parts of it?

So there you have it, Sunday afternoon and I’m prepping my posts for this week. This topic is an important and fascinating one for worldbuilding. I hope this helped someone, and I hope you enjoy the rest of the posts on my account.

[ruinedruminations]

Answer the questions and tag the fanfiction authors you know:

Thank you @mathiwrites for the tag! I decided to do this on my writing focused blog. @tamlinfairchild

How did you get into writing fanfiction?

I started out writing for fandoms almost sixteen years ago during one of my family’s last vacations together. I remember specifically hauling our very chunky and dependable laptop around the resort and curling up on various benches at age twelve to type out sentences. The work that I completed that week, as embarrassing as it is, I keep in my memory box as a dedication to what has become such a huge part of my life.

How many fandoms have you written in?

Glory. Officially on Archive of Our Own, I have written things for A Court of Thorns & Roses, The Chronicles of Narnia, and Supergirl.

The Chronicles of Narnia is what drew me into the depth of world building, characters, and writing in general. I will always have a special place for it in my heart. The original character whom I created sixteen years ago for that story still accompanies me to this day. I know her better now, as one gets to know a friend. She will likely find a home in my original works as that fantasy world expands.

Supergirl had my heart for multiple years and is what got me into working on one project for an extended amount of time. I was writing a long haul with @fangirlintheforest. We met and had a strong laugh over the fact that we have the same name. We are still friends to this day.

I believe I only wrote around 20k words to that story in a year, which I have now proven I am capable of doing in a month; but it was the first time I sat down and shared my ideas with someone in the way I do today.

How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

15 going on 16 years. I started original work four or five years ago.

Do you read or write more fanfiction?

I certainly write more than I read. Often, I can’t stop writing. Occasionally, I’ve written a sentence or two at a stoplight. I definitely have skipped dinner or stayed in from gatherings in order to let the words in my brain flow from my own. Writing is a core function of who I am.

I love to read fanfiction. My favorites of all time are definitely in the Dramione fandom. Some of their works have been very influential on me.

However, when I am writing fanfiction, I tend to avoid reading anything about the characters I am currently working with unless asked.

What is one way you've improved as a writer?

I could go on and on; but the three biggest things I’ve learned in the past two years are:

One — be your own biggest fan. especially when writing original content, you will not always have readers there by your side during creation. reread your own writing more often with excitement and love than you do with criticism. the kinder you are to your mistakes, the easier they are to correct.

Two — write for you. why did you begin this story? deep inside you know the reason why. you may lack the words for it (funny, right?) but the flame is there. start it for you, finish it to make yourself proud.

Three — just write. write it badly; but don’t let anything stop you from not writing it at all.

Do you have any bad habits as a writer?

Perfectionism and avoidance. I struggle ending stories even when I know scene by scene how it goes. I think it’s important to realize that writing your conclusion is not a death, especially for the first book of many, but an opportunity.

What's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

Probably things on Psychopaths, Criminals, and truly dark details about death.

What's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

Honestly, I’m used to not getting many. So seeing them is still a bit surreal. However, I love when people point out that something truly touched their heart or made them notice something new. My emotions bleed into my words and so has the healing and trauma recovery that I have experienced in the last five years. Being able to share my grief, healing, and hope with others in ways that makes them feel seen and heard is truly what calls to my heart as a writer.

What's the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

I’m not super fringe. I think the plot that I enjoy which I’ve heard is unpopular is a pregnancy trope. I have always enjoyed writing them, I’m not entirely sure why. I have health conditions that prevent me from having children of my own and I think incorporating that into my fiction is probably a very good outlet for me.

What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

I am still learning how to write good action scenes and humor. Humor is still probably what I would consider my biggest challenge.

What is the easiest type?

Lyrical, emotional prose

Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

I currently use GoogleDocs and am hoping to switch platforms soon. I want to start doing things with this blog as well. I’ve considered making a YouTube Channels about learning how to write.

What is something you've been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

I approach a lot of different topics, because I believe that even if I haven’t experienced something — if you step into someone else’s shoes with empathy — your own pain will translate.

But, the one thing that does intimidate me is cancel culture. I am still working through my fear of publishing because of the recent changes to fandom and reading. Authors get devoured and critiqued down to the most intimate details of their lives. Critique is important and I am probably one of the biggest free speech advocates out there, but it still scares me.

Working with beta readers and listening to people who have outside experiences helps me look at my own work new ways; but I’ve also had to accept and acknowledge that no book can ever be perfect for everyone. That is part of why we write fanfiction. As an hopeful future author, I hope that I could embrace that.

What made you choose your username?

My main blog is positivelyruined, which is a line from one of my favorite books of last year: Assistant to the Villain. I decided I wanted something that matched and this fit the bill.

#tag games #as a writer

[louisisalarrie]

hey hey, hope you're well and those nasty hate anons're leaving you alone!

i've been thinking about the harry coming out as bi theory from back in 2015 with xander (i saw a post on tumblr a few days ago lol) and there is a lot of talk about how louis wouldn't come out without harry but like, would harry really come out without louis?

it seems so... unbalanced? one sacrificing ones own freedom for someone who would be willing to come out with someone else? idk if i'm reading something wrong or misunderstand something and maybe i'm projecting my own issues onto this situation (i've been in this same situation before and it ended badly for me so)

anyway, if or when L&H (together ir separately) come out, i personally only see it happening with a big bang and tell all. with all the shit going on the past 14 years, all the influential people involved,, like i guess what i'm getting here is, do you (with your knowledge) think theres another way? one that could be happening relatively soon (like next 5 years) or is it gonna be a retirement thing? meaning when they've retired theyre just like "yo btw"

another question: do you think they want to come out?

Heya anon!

First off, and most importantly, i am so so sorry to hear you had a negative experience like that. I hope you know you’re wonderful and loved and deserve the very best 🧡

And secondly, welcome to the show!

That post that you’re referencing, i do strongly believe that theory. It makes perfect sense as to the shift in Harry’s behaviour, and confidence, and i think it fits really well into watching him grow over the years, and how mgmt we’re gonna seed it. And then… it all just stopped. Anyway, it’s a great post if you haven’t read it!

So, let’s discuss this from the info we have, and the knowledge we have of Louis and Harry as people, and their sticky situation. Coming out is different for everyone, and everyone has their own time when they’re ready, and i am in no way invalidating anyone’s personal experiences with coming out with this post. I’m not going to assume exactly what they think and want, but i will put my two cents in and base it off what i think is best for them in a career sense, and their relationship to be strong after the official come out.

Okie dokie, with that in mind, let’s get right to it!

Louis did wear a big chunk of their relationship being closeted through Simon. I am in no way saying Harry had it easier, but Louis was older, and Simon saw that Harry would hang off Louis’ every word and action. He saw the dynamic, we all did, and if you were in Simon’s situation, you’d get Louis to sort it out, right? At the nip of the bud, you choose the 18 year old to get the 16 year old to do what you want them to do, because he looks up to Louis. Louis can guide him by being older and wiser and more of a dominant personality. The obvious choice was Louis, and starting there. And Simon did.

That day after the wonderful gay club show, Louis was flown out directly to Simon’s place in LA or whatever mansion he was in at the time, and chastised the fuck out of him. Hes said that before. Harry and Louis were all over each other that night, and they were so damn happy. But Simon doesn’t fly them both out to settle this, he just flies louis out. He puts Louis in a position where he’s telling Harry what to do, rather than chastising them as a team (which im sure he did at other times, but anyway, this is the stem).

So, sweet little Harry as he lives and breathes, is trying to be all in for Louis, and Louis is making sure he doesn’t overstep the boundaries. We’ve seen it a heap of times, and that’s really important to note. Louis did the denials, Louis had the long term gf, and Louis dealt directly with Simon, more so than Harry, i imagine. Harry had to have the womaniser image so he was always busy with that, and Louis had to have the commitment so they were never single at the same time (until all of the members were coincidentally single at the same time which was amazing hahaha).

So, we can already see the imbalance there, with proof. Anyway, as Harry grows into a more flamboyant person and starts wearing gucci and louder colours etc., people are already questioning his sexuality. He’s this sexy, charming man, with an image of already having a lot of partners, so it was easier to believe if he came out and was “experimenting”, rather than being in a long term het relationship. You get what im saying?

So, out of the two of them, it seems more likely that Harry comes out. He gets a lot of press, larries are getting excited, but also, Larry gets mentioned a few times in the media around 2015, during this Xander and H thing. And while Harry is the “frontman”, gets all the attention and we can already see how much of a superstar he is and mgmt/the Azoffs can see a very successful solo career for him, he’s allowed to be a bit ambiguous. Bring up the ratings, keep things fun and sexy and exciting. Even during One Direction, Louis just wasn’t as popular to the GP. so, it’s an easy choice. Harry.

(Also Harry is louis’ baby and he’d want to protect him at all costs and let him be free over his own happiness)

My bet is mgmt wouldn’t let them come out together at the same time bc that’s too much of a scandal, but also it exposes them. It’s a compromise. But, it doesn’t end up following through and Louis’ stuck with a stunt until the time is right and Harry is continued to be seen with every leggy gal who needs a bit of promo. The narrative was changing, and the seeding for Harry back then has even worked now. He’s so much more free. So, yeah. He’s a lot more free to do what he wants, and he also doesn’t have a kid tied to him. Unfair? Yes. But i believe Louis did do this whole thing for the sake of Harry, and mgmt wanted it to be Harry.

Now, about how they’ll come out… i mean… a tell all would be great, but they’ll be sued by a million folks who still hold a great deal of money and power over them. I truly don’t think a tell all will happen for a long time. It doesn’t seem plausible to me right now. And the thing is… if mgmt hadn’t have dealt them any stunts, and let them be single the whole time, they could’ve come out way sooner and been like “yeah we’re dating and we didn’t want to make it public” and get away without the whole forcible closeting thing. It would’ve been a smart move. But it’s all in the name of PR, and relationships and sightings of the boys with girls make money.

Anyway, who knows. They might break and just say fuck it and do it. But with budding careers, they need to be smart about this. Harry is at the height of his career (i think his absence from everything right now is very smart btw), and Louis is on the rise. They have to end the bbg thing (I’ve talked about my theories on this before and how best to end it, and i think i should probably send it to mgmt to save their asses), because I don’t think Louis would wanna be tied to that for the rest of his life.

However, Harry and Louis are enemies to the GP right now. So they’re gonna have to seed a friendship, then a relationship, and it’s gonna be a much longer process than a big bang. Depends on how savvy both their marketing teams are. But also, Harry is kinda.. halfway out? People don’t really believe he’s straight. Hes not yet given himself an official title to the public (he doesn’t have to), but he’s got one foot out of the closet. Louis is still stuck in fucking Narnia at the moment.

So if Harry wants to wait until louis can come out and they do it together, that’s great, but absolutely nothing about louis’ sexuality has been seeded. I think even at this point in his career it’s not gonna get much attention from the public, and bbg is still hanging over his head. So it’s kinda like… Harry is halfway out with a hell of a lot more freedom but hasn’t officially come out, who knows? Maybe he is waiting for Louis? Or he’s just enjoying the ambiguous nature of it all. He doesn’t have to announce anything and he’s on top of the world. Most people are seeing him for who he is.

Louis is just so focused on his career right now that I don’t think he’s pushing for the same amount of freedom. He’s trying to make a name for himself and a solo career that separates him from the idea that he’s “riding Harry’s coattails” or whatever tf people will say if they came out as dating. So I think he’s super focused on doing what he loves, and yeah. He’s not as fussed right now. And he’s still in a sticky situation with bbg, so he’s doing what he can to hint at us that he’s still there and thinking about it and it’ll happen, but not right now.

I truly think they both do wanna come out, even if it doesn’t seem like a priority for Louis rn, and Harry is kinda halfway there. It’s a weird little awkward timing for them I think. And don’t get me wrong, I want them to do whatever makes them happy and what’s right for their careers, but until we get some serious seeding and not just stuff larries pick up, it won’t happen.

Unless yeah, a big drop of everything and they expose everyone. Stranger things have happened. But it jeopardises their careers and networks big time.

Anyway, this turned way longer than I thought, and I probably repeated myself a bunch bc im exhausted from work, but if you have any specific questions about what I said, you’re more than welcome to send through! These big topics are always hard to grasp anything. Damn, im still rambling. Sorry, and thank you anon! Big love to you x

#anon #answered #bbg #stunts

[eternally-smitten]

Wax Fruit

summary: After being hired at Waystar Royco, Natalie meets one of the most influential figures at this company.

word count: ~1.4k

author's note: Don't ask me why I wrote a meeting fic after I already wrote a fic where the pre-relationship friendship was already established lol my writer's mind works in mysterious ways

“Alright, fine. You’re hired.”

Logan Roy said that to Natalie hours ago, but that sentence kept ringing in her head. She couldn’t believe it. She thought for sure this infamous man would take one look at her and cast her out, but he didn’t. He actually hired her as an assistant. It felt like some odd fever dream, looking him dead in the eyes and hearing him say that she’s accepted. The one issue is that she needed to go to the upcoming corporate dinner that the company was hosting. It would look great that a shy newcomer would feel welcomed enough by the Roys to attend such a large event. The press would be all over that story and spread it like a disease. So here she was, standing alone near the table full of fancy finger foods, in a stifling dress that she found deep in her closet because it was the nicest one she owned. To say Natalie felt out of place was an understatement. Despite being excited that she was hired to work for Waystar Royco, pure anxiety also plagued her. The venue was huge; Natalie felt like a tiny bug underneath the too high ceiling. She was also surrounded by presumably very important business folk who knew a lot more than she ever will. Many eyed her up and down, some smiled politely, others glared at her out of the sides of their eyes, and few made sure to introduce themselves and offer a drink. Natalie nervously traced her finger around the rim of the champagne glass she was cradling, not entirely sure what to do with herself. Biting the inside of her cheek, she found her eyes wandering the event. She studied the crowd, wondering if she should go out and introduce herself or wait until she was spoken to first. Natalie quickly snapped back to reality when someone almost brushed beside her, almost forgetting she was right in front of the nibbles. She turned and made eye contact with one of Logan’s sons, Roman Roy. He turned and gave her a sly smile before examining the fruit bowl before him. Picking up an apple, he then turned around to lean on the table next to her, looking for the perfect spot to bite into. Once he chose one, he took a bite that made a crisp crunch and he paused. Natalie tried and failed to hold back a choked laugh when she saw him spit out a piece of wax.

“Alright, yeah, yeah,” Roman rolled his eyes, grabbing a napkin to shove the wax apple piece into, “Fuck you. That's what I get for trying to be all mysterious.”

“I’m sorry.” She said in between laughs, “Can I take care of that for you?”

“Well, it’s the least you can do after laughing at your boss’ son.” He placed the napkin wad and the apple in Natalie’s hand as she made her way to the nearest trash can. Once she returned, he limply held his hand out, “Roman. I’m glad I made a complete ass of myself upon meeting.”

“Natalie, and don’t even worry.” She shook his hand, “You’re just helping me figure out what is actually edible here. Most of it looks like it came out of Frankenstein’s laboratory.”

Roman laughed, “Yeah, that’s the uh, rich cuisine for you. Are you having an alright time here with all these business fucks?”

“Oh, I have never felt more at home.” Natalie shook her head, “I love standing here alone for hours in an uncomfortable dress while all my colleagues-to-be look at me like they want me dead.”

“Ah, don’t worry about them. They just think dad’ll give them the old chop now that someone new has joined.” Roman leaned in closer to her, “You’ll do great. I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

She took a sip of her drink and turned to him, “You promise you won’t tell your dad about how I laughed at you? I’m sure that won’t do me any favors if he knows.”

“Well, to tell on you, I’d have to explain why you were laughing at me.” Roman once again inspects the table, hesitant to take any other food, “And, to tell you the truth, I don’t want to walk into his office and say ‘Hey dad, I accidentally made an ass out of myself in front of the new employee and well, she laughed at me. Fire her, please?’ because I’m already humiliated enough.”

She sniggered a little, “In your defense, it looked very real. I mean, who adds a bowl of wax fruit on a table full of supposedly real food?”

He shrugged, “These kinds of people, I guess.”

“Aren’t you included in ‘these people’?” Natalie inquired, smirking at him, “I mean, you're here at your dad’s event.”

“What? No! How dare you even suggest that!” Roman feigned heartbreak, “I’m better than everyone here, anyway.”

She raised an eyebrow inquisitively, “Oh, yeah? How so?”

“I’m…” He trailed off, drumming his fingers on his cheek, “Just take my word for it, alright?”

“What a convincing argument, Mr. Roy.”

“Hey, now! Don’t give me that ‘Mr. Roy’ shit.” He scoffed, “Save that for my dad. Maybe I should tattle on you about laughing at me over the apple, after all.”

“I’m teasing, I’m teasing! I swear!” Natalie gently elbowed him, “Well, I must admit that you’re pretty much the only person here I’ve enjoyed talking to so far tonight so I guess I’d argue that you just might be better.”

“Flattery does not work on me, missy.” He clicked his tongue and waved his finger at her, “But, don’t let that discourage you from continuing to tell me nice things about myself. Please, go on.”

“Aren’t you charming? You can’t be single, right?” Natalie grinned, “I’m kidding. You are quite compelling, though.”

“You know, maybe I lied.” Roman rubbed his chin, an exaggerated confused expression painted on his face, “Maybe flattery does work. Keep it up, and I’ll add a cool million to your paycheck.”

“Unfortunately for you, bribery does not work for me. So you’ll take whatever sparse compliments I’ll give you when I give them to you.” 

Roman giggled, “Oh, someone is playing hard to get. You are very, very enticing.”

“You yourself are alluring, as well.” Her voice was soft, almost honeyed. She couldn’t help but lean a little closer to him as they spoke. He was very endearing to her.

Roman gasped, clutching his chest, “Oh! My heart! You’re too kind, Natalie.”

She looked away from him for the first time since they started talking to check her phone, “Wow, it’s late. This party seems to drag on forever.”

“Ansty to leave already? You haven’t even met Mr. Fucko McBusinesspants yet!” Roman gestured towards the guests, “And what about Miss All-I-Do-Is-Type-On-A-Laptop? You need to meet her if you’re going to be working for us.”

“I think they’ll be fine without me.” Natalie looked around, “Do you think anyone will notice if I slip away?”

“Definitely not.” Roman nodded, “But, you can’t leave unless you let me walk you out.”

“You are such a gentleman. How could I refuse?” Her cheeks started to hurt with how much she had been smiling tonight. She was having a better time at this even more than she thought she would.

A wide grin slowly spread across his face as he bowed dramatically, “After you, my lady.”

She started to walk ahead of him before he shuffled after her, quickly catching up. Their small talk continued as they walked, going back and forth about little things. They discussed the company, the coworkers, the weather, anything they could think of in the short distance between the dinner and the exit.

“Well, I guess this is goodnight.” Natalie shook his hand again, “It was so lovely meeting you. I’m really looking forward to working with you and seeing you again.”

“Keep this flattery up, and I’ll add two million to your paycheck.” His mouth was frozen in a permanent smirk.

“Nice try.” She opened the door and left, but not before peering over her shoulder, “See you soon, Mr. Roy.”

“You-!” Roman laughed once more, not being able to find a clever comeback in time, “…Goodnight, Natalie.”

He closed the door behind him and returned to the dinner alone. The rest of his night was spent faking smiles, grinning his way through boring small talk, and lamenting how hungry he was but not being able to trust the food. For once, he was looking forward to going to work the next day, hoping that it would be Natalie’s first day at the office.

tag list: @frozenhi-chews @bobmckenzie @gideongrovel @timothymcgees @nonesenseships @phillipslovebug @unlikely-valentine @wisp-herr let me know if you want to be added or removed! :)

#my stuff ♡ #⸝⸝⊂➜ corporate flirt ⊃⸝⸝ #ok to rb! #self ship fanfiction

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

In your opinion, does reading a lot or writing a lot make a good writer?

It takes both, but it absolutely does.

Granted, I don’t really think there’s anything as a “good” writer, just because I find writing so hard to quantify. Like, there are some very famous writers out there who I think are absolute clown shoes because I can’t tolerate them stylistically, but there’s plenty of people who disagree with me and love works I abhor. It’s a very subjective standard with art.

That being said, it’s also undeniable that writing is a skill that has to be trained and improved, and reading and writing is the only real way to do that.

I think a lot of writing is crow behavior. We train ourselves as to what we like based on the other writers we’ve read and loved over the years. I think the writers who I’ve found most influential would be Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett, and Kurt Vonnegut. I just love all of their styles so so much, and they’ve definitely influenced how I approach writing. I don’t think you can be a good writer without being a good reader first.

But writing is really the only way to learn how to be a writer. Like. I cannot stress enough how important it is. Writing’s been my number one hobby for a decade now, and my early stuff is completely unreadable to me because I’ve improved so much in that time that it’s painful to read the other stuff. Even some of the early chapters of nhthcth make me grimace because my writings developed so much since then. In a few years, my current stuff will probably seem unreadable to me.

Writing’s a sort of act of self exploration to me. Like. We learn our own art style the more we use it. There’s no objective end goal with writing—every single artist is unique in style and approach and it’s so so interesting to see how it develops over time. But I don’t know of any actual rules for learning how to write other than read a lot and write a lot. I’m still learning how to write, and those two things are the only things I’ve ever found that work.

#writing stuff #it’s so great to see yourself grow as a writer and at the same time so painful #me @ earlier me: why do you suck at this #earlier me kept putting things in parentheticals #girl why are you whispering

[thowawayuntilfurthernotice]

So I had originally planned on doing a Danny Phantom retrospective, mostly because I’ve been watching a lot of video essays on YouTube about old media and internet personalities, and Danny Phantom was always one of those shows that I had a complex relationship with. But during my research, a simple question kept popping into my head over and over again. 

What does Butch Hartman actually do? 

He constantly keeps claiming that he created Danny Phantom, and a lot of people do consider Danny Phantom to be Hartman’s best show, but how involved was he? 

I’m not saying Hartman just slapped his name onto a product and took all the credit for himself, as he is credited for writing, storyboarding and directing various episodes. But from all the interviews and clips I’ve seen of him, he doesn’t seem to know that much about the show’s lore or why people like the show to begin with.

For example, the show clearly establishes that there are ghosts who used to be human at one point, but Hartman has always insisted that every ghost you see in the series is a supernatural creature from an alternate dimension. And that his explanation for why some ghosts are more human looking than others is because they wanna be human? Um…..okay. 

Feels odd that Hartman had a problem with the ghosts being spirits of deceased humans but he originally wanted Vlad to be a vampire. 

It’s also pretty interesting how Hartman never wrote any season two episodes, as that season is when the show started to heavily incorporate elements of serialized storytelling into its main narrative. Something that was previously absent from Hartman’s other show, The Fairly Oddparents. 

And yes, I am still annoyed that we never got a legit payoff to the Ring of Rage and Crown of Fire, they were clearly set up as these major plot points that were gonna be important later on, but were completely dropped entirely after Reign Storm. 

Guess now is the perfect time to talk about Steve Marmel and the controversy surrounding him. Long story short, Marmel was a writer who helped develop the series. A lot of the best episodes were written by him and once he left the quality went down the shitter. 

Many people have speculated that he was fired by Hartman/Nickelodeon for wanting the show to go into a more darker direction, while others claim he left due to creative differences. 

None of these rumors have been confirmed by Hartman, Nickelodeon or Marmel. And as such, should be taken with a huge grain of salt. 

Regardless of what you believe, you can’t deny that Marmel wasn’t influential during his time on the show. He really helped flesh out a lot of the characters and lore. 

Say what you will about the Green Bay Packers jokes in Bitter Reunions, but I kinda loved that aspect of Vlad’s character. It was a nice little touch that helped him stand out from your typical Saturday morning cartoon villain. 

And if I’m being perfectly honest, I don’t think Hartman could pull something like The Ultimate Enemy or Reign Storm off on his own, as he’s not that good of a writer. 

Which brings me to season three, now I don’t usually like parroting out the default opinion but, season three of Danny Phantom is just…..really bad. 

I’m not going to go into that much detail about season three, mostly because it’s a topic that’s been covered to death and I really don’t have anything new to bring to the table. But I will say that, if season three does anything well it’s that it showcases just how terrible of a writer Hartman actually is. 

Take for example the episode Urban Jungle, Sam’s eco friendliness is taken up to eleven, to the point where she starts feeling less like a character and more of a caricature. All she does in this episode is complain about how terrible humanity is, get captured and brainwashed by the villain of the week before getting rescued by Danny in the end. 

Oh, and Danny gets ice powers because…..reasons. 

I genuinely do feel bad for all the Danny Phantom fans who want to see a legit continuation or reboot, I came across a ton of amazing fan art and AU stories/webcomics that are a billion times more entertaining than the shit we got in season three. 

But alas, Nickelodeon has made it clear that they aren’t interested in a Danny Phantom revival/reboot, as they seem to only want comedy shows. Plus even if there was some sort of continuation, I doubt fans would support it if Hartman was heavily involved. Considering that he’s spent the last couple of years destroying any good will he had left with animation fans. 

Still, while the show may never get a proper continuation or revival, it will continue to live on in fan media form.

#Danny Phantom #DP #Nickelodeon #Nicktoons #Media Criticism #Butch Hartman #Media Analysis

[ch1llyic3y]

MY HEARTTTT

“You’re actually asking stuff from me. Back when we first started this whole mentorship thing you would have rather jumped off a Quinjet than asked me for anything. I’m glad we’re past that, is all. That you’re comfortable enough to do that.”

“Oh, I didn’t - I don’t - want you to think I’m taking advantage or-”

“What’s wrong with taking some advantage of the fact that you have the actual Tony Stark?” Tony grins cockily, ruffling the kid’s hair.

“But it’s not about the things that you can offer me! If you lost everything tomorrow, I would still keep coming to you, because of you , because you ’re important to me!” Peter presses on, like it’s very important to him that Tony understands that, and Tony’s chest swells with warmth.

“I know, kiddo. Love you too.”

-

Mr Stark Enough For You? (another field trip fic bcs we dont have enough) (7054 words) by Livinei Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark, May Parker (Spider-Man) & Peter Parker, Ned Leeds & Peter Parker Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, May Parker (Spider-Man), Ned Leeds, Flash Thompson, and peter's whole class tbh, Pepper Potts Additional Tags: Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Father-Son Relationship, Bullying, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Precious Peter Parker, Field Trip, field trip to stark industries, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Found Family, a field trip fic in which pete isnt Panicky but not thrilled either, NOW WITH ADDED ENDING NOTES, just a little fun extra dialogue Summary: Peter isn’t worried because he thinks Tony won’t say yes, he’s worried because he’s sure Tony will. And he’s not sure how he feels about having his entire class waltzing around the place where he spends practically more time than in his own home, where he has his own room, and where he regularly eats Lucky Charms with one of the most influential men in the country, in his pajamas. Not that they’d ever know any of that. Tour groups don’t go to the living quarters of the Tower anyways, they hardly ever go past the 50th floor, Peter knows that. And it isn’t fair to his class if he doesn’t ask just because he…spends a lot of time there? Yeah, Peter sighs, he has to ask. He promised, anyways. IT'S A FIELD TRIP FIC, WE LOVE THOSE

#Marvel #MCU #marvel cinematic universe #Ironman #Tony stark #Peter parker #Pete and tony #Tony and peter #Pepper potts #Pepper stark #Ned Leeds #Spiderman #Amazing Spiderman #Ultimate Spiderman #Marvel Comics #anthony stark #I am Ironman #Avengers #avengers assemble #Captain America #Winter Soilder #Howard stark #Sharon Carter #The Hulk #Bruce Banner #janet van dyne #Hank Pym #Janet and Hank #The wasp #scott lang

[libertys-lovers]

*sharp inhale*

HAPPY BIIIRRRTTTHHHHDDDAAAYYY!!!!

Another year has passed for these six goobers! Another year of being silly, another year of being goofy, and another year of being jobless little NEETS! 🥰 (Even though they’re technically not jobless? They work on their own show, don’t they? Anyways-).

I know I’ve talked about it before, but these 6 have had such a huge influence on my life, it’s almost embarrassing. Their show is easily the most consistent fixation I’ve ever had, and their lives are a nightmare-scenario that I am so damn happy I get to indulge in. In self-ship lore, I’m proud to call them my friends. In real life though, damnit, I’m just glad I heard of them at all. Perhaps I shouldn’t get too personal, but every single brother’s had some sort of influence on me.

…

And, of course, that includes the catalyst brother for all of this.

As you can imagine, Kara is especially important to me. He’s somehow a culmination of what I am and what I want to be. We’re both really dramatic & artistic in a way, and we both act despite how others perceive us; I just really need his confidence! And, of course, he’s important to me purely based off the fact I wanna smooch him silly. But… there’s another part of it too:

Kara, to me, represents two of the most influential aspects of my life; self-shipping and Oso-San. He may not be my first F/O, technically; Ichimatsu was my first official F/O, and Dororo may as well have been an unofficial F/O since I was a kid. But, Kara is the earliest on the list, he somehow came back on the list after being removed during a rough-ass time, and he has caused the most brainrot without a damn doubt. In a way, he kinda summarizes the entire self-ship experience for me. And, ya know, the Oso-San representation is self explanatory. I have other “most influential” franchises, like Homestuck or FNAF, but Oso-San is the most persistent hyperfixation I have. It got me through high-school & through the pandemic, and it’s by far the series I revisit most.

I’ve been thinking about that a lot recently, and I realized that Kara even represents my closest friendships (well, 2 of them anyway!). The two fixations he represents are closely tied to my friends; I wouldn’t be hitched to him if it wasn’t for one friend, and I wouldn’t even know about him if it weren’t for the other. I still remember watching clips of the show with @vhshipping , which actually caused dreams that literally gaslit me into watching the show NWKEKD; we ended up binging a bit of the show together, which I think solidified its place as a fixation in me lol. And I remember @self-shipping-payaso asking about the lil men I was posting about on my story, leading to them helping me realize that they could be F/Os! It’s crazy that a single character can bring back so many wonderful memories with such wonderful people. I hope those two realize how damn important they are to me, outside of their wingmaning as well! They better! I’m sending this to them so they should! You! You two! I fucking love you! 👋🥹

Needless to say, this has greatly increased his value as a character for me.

But… the question might pop up of “why are you talking about all of this in a birthday post?”, and the short answer is that “this is my blog and I’ll do whatever I want!”. But, if it wouldn’t kill me to be serious for five minutes, well, I guess it’s to showcase why I bother to make birthday posts about the bros in the first place. I usually don’t make big deals about fictional character birthdays, but these guys have had such an influence on me that I almost feel obligated to do it for them NAKDMDKFK. Maybe this is all my way of trying to justify why I’m so attached to them, idk.

Truth be told, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to properly explain everything they mean to me, but this was certainly a valiant effort!

So uh… TL:DR… Happy Birthday to the Matsunos~!

#this is a REEEAAALLLLYYY long post so- #Heads up for that BWJDKFKF #self ship #self shipper #self shipping #romantic f/o #🕶️💥dramatics💥🕶️ #platonic f/o #👒💥Pop Art💥👒 #⚾️💥America’s Sport💥⚾️ #familial f/o #🌳🌲🌳💥Riding Hood and the Forest of Wolves💥🌳🌲🌳 #rival f/o #🏇💥write those numbers down!💥🏇