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writers-hq · 1 year

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WHY IS WRITING IS SO FUCKING HARD?

Ten types of fuckery that stop you from writing the thing:

1. Imposter syndrome

You think you're not good enough or everyone else is better than you and you're just winging it AKA ye olde imposter syndrome bullshit. Yeah nah you're fine. No really, you're exactly where you need to be right now, and you'll keep getting better and better so long as you don't stop. Chances are, if you're filled with doubt about your abilities it means you've actually improved to the point where you can really start to understand what makes good writing. It means you know where you wanna end up and goshdarn it you're gonna get there.

Read this: 4 tips to kick imposter syndrome in the face and also genitals

And also this: How to silence the inner critic

2. Fear of rejection and/or failure

Yeah, us too. It fuckin sucks. BUT. Not all rejections are equal. And rejection is a necessary part of the process. Sometimes it takes a rejection to realise that a story isn't ready. Sometimes a rejection is entirely subjective and has ZERO reflection on the quality of your work. But shying away from the very idea of possibly maybe hypothetically getting rejected is only going to hold you back from even trying. And knowing why you got rejected and how to learn from it is one of the most valuable writing skills.

Read this: The different types of rejection (and how to deal with 'em)

Then read this: How to cope with rejection

And also this: Writing lessons from Groundhog Day

3. Not enough planning / too much planning

Leaping into a new story with nothing but a glimmer of an idea is exciting as heck (and can sometimes be a great way to begin) but at some point you're gonna need some sort of outline or plan to keep you on track. HOWEVER. Planning your story to within an inch of its life can also sometimes be a hindrance - leaving you stuck in the hypothetical stage of the process where your story doesn't quite exist yet (and therefore avoiding the prospect of it sucking). The sweet spot is in the middle. Having just enough of a plan to know where tf you're going, but enough freedom and flexibility to let the story lead the way...

Read this: Planning vs pantsing

Then read this: Five plotting techniques

And also this: The perils of overplanning

4. Your WIP just isn't working

Sometimes things just fall flat. Sometimes you work on the same story for yeeeeears and then it just kinda... dies. Sometimes you have the best plans (see above) and the best intentions and things still don't work out. Sometimes it's just time to move on. And sometimes it's not! Sometimes a story can be revived, fixed or changed. Sometimes you just need time. Sometimes YOU'RE the one that's changed and this isn't the story you need to be writing right now. Many variables. Muchly personal. Read the things below for more advice cos this is a big question:

Read this: What to do when your WIP isn't working

And also this: Give it space - how to grow a story in your head

Or how about this? Editing 101

5. You keep deprioritising it

Ah the irony of writing being the thing you love/want to do most of all AND YET the thing you procrastinate over and avoid and shove to the very bottom of your to-do list all the freakin' time. Maybe it's the comodification of art destroying our freedom to create without pressure. Maybe it's late capitalism sucking up all our available time and energy. Maybe it's a lack of self-belief subconsciously telling us our 'little hobby' doesn't really matter. Maybe it's maybelline. Whatever it is, you have the power to reclaim and revalue your writing. To say, "I'm a fucking writer, goddamnit!" and mean it. To ringfence your creative time so nothing and nobody gets to interrupt it. To do that thing you love.

Read this: Prioritise your writing

Read this: How to write in 30 second bursts

6. Shiny Thing Syndrome

You know that feeling when you're just getting stuck into a writing project and then — SQUIRREL! — you get distracted by another, better, more shiny writing project? Or maybe you're deep in the editing phase and your current WIP just isn't feeling very shiny at all and pretty much ANYTHING seems more exciting? Or you simply can't decide which of the many squirrelly writing ideas to actually start? You, fine writerperson, may be suffering from Shiny Thing Syndrome (STS). But fear not! There are a few ways to combat it, depending on the cause, and most of them involve embracing the squirrel-brain and injecting a bit of fun into your writing, like so:

Read this: Shiny thing syndrome - a writer's malady

Aaaand read this: Get excited about your writing again

And also this: Write like a kid

7. Perfectionism/self-sabotage

Look. Writing is scary as shit. What if someone READS it? What if they don't like it? What if they see into your soul and gain a deeper understanding of you through your words? Writing your truth, being vulnerable, smearing your heart juice all over the page? No thank you. But also, that's where the good shit is, so actually yes please. Just make sure you smear responsibly. And rest assured, even the most 'successful' and experienced writers ALSO feel like this sometimes, so you're in good company. It's just part of the art, bruh.

Read this: Why writing is scary (and why that's a good thing)

Read this: Beginning a story - what stops us starting?

And also this: Get out of your own way

8. The dreaded blank page

Oh godddd the blank page. It should be an exciting palimseset of possibility but is somehow also the most terrifying thing known to humankind. You wanna write something but where to start? HOW to start? You type that first line and immediately delete it. You watch the cursor blinking at you—taunting you—until you just give up and shut your laptop again. It's probably tied up with a bunch of things we've already covered so far: perfectionism, imposter syndrome, fear of failure, maybe a lack of planning or faith in your story or whatever. But it doesn't have to be this way. A blank page IS exciting and full of possibility. We just have to get over ourselves and learn to embrace the unknown...

Read this: Don't fear the blank page

And also this: The moaning method

9. Not enough time/energy/motivation/gnuuuughh

Dude, same x 1000. But you don't have to get up at 5am, do hot yoga, drink a kale smoothie and write a thousand words before sunrise to be a Proper Writer. You don't even have to write every day. But what you can do is hack your writing brain and figure out when, where, how, and why you write most effectively. Then tweak your schedule, your habits, and your attitude to ensure you're making the most of your time. Productivity is a big ol' lie but finding the secret to getting in your own personal writing zone is actual MAGIC.

Read this: Maximise your writing time

And also this: Get in the writing zone

And also unto this: The Writers' HQ Guide to Productivity

10. You're just fucken stuck

Got the writing morbs? In need of some literary sudafed? Stuck as a pig in a poke? Writing is a whole puzzle of a process—and to be honest that's what makes it so fun and exciting and addictive, because your writing brain is hardwired to both create AND solve the wordy puzzles within your story. Sometimes the answer is time. Sometimes it's a second opinion or a fresh eye. Sometimes a totally different approach or just a hefty kick up the bum. But whatever the problem, there IS a solution. You just gotta keep going and trust that you'll find it...

Read this: Troubleshoot your writing - why are you stuck?

And also this: Break through the writing blockage

And also also this: Write yourself into a pit (and then dig your way out again)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alright, that's it for today. Now go write, you flithy animals.

(And if we missed anything, stick a question in our ask box or check out the rest of our shit here)

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taggedmemes · 3 months

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SENTENCE MEME BALDUR'S GATE 3 / PART SIX

leave us in peace and we shall leave you in kind.

cut the crap.

we just want to go home.

enough of this charade.

i'll not play pretend anymore.

you'll soon learn what it means to ally yourself with the likes of this garbage.

i'm free now, and i'm never going back.

fuck them.

felt good letting off a little steam.

if i burn any hotter, i might explode.

don't get too close until i've found a way to calm down.

it's a bit early to be getting into tragic backstories.

let's save the scar-show for later after we've worked up an appetite for tragedy.

in the grand scheme of things, i'm inconsequential [to her].

she favored me like a child favors a captive pet.

it had the makings of a good stage show, but i did not want to be one of the players.

torture, bloodsport? or perhaps just a good old-fashioned walloping?

you owe me nothing.

i could extort you, if that's what you want.

you're teasing me now.

ignorance is alive and well it seems.

don't make me get the wooden spoon.

you'd best have one hells of an apology for me.

if you think your precious little god holds any power here, you're in for a surprise.

do you treat all your guests so poorly?

i don't like busybodies.

you are as thick as they come.

are you telling me you made love to a goddess?

i shared a bed with a goddess and yet i wasn't satisfied.

shall i share the story behind it or would you rather head straight to its sordid finale?

how are you still alive?

we've come this far together and we'll continue on together.

even i am tired of the sound of my own voice.

i'll rip your spine out of your asshole.

i'll use your blood to spice my stew.

i'll keep you alive until i've sucked the marrow from your bones.

killing me is a waste of time.

you bastard, you ruined everything.

this is an interesting way of thanking me.

a slap is all you deserve.

a hag was never going to help you.

they don't help anyone but themselves.

that double-crossing, filthy, lying hag.

focus on the positive.

forgive the aroma.

perhaps that is why i have survived so long where more fearsome peers have not.

your loyalty is admirable but misplaced.

his kind have charm beyond our mortal means to resist.

who'd keep a secret like that from his friends?

you can't trust anyone these days.

even in the middle of nowhere, he can reach me.

why do you insist on exhuming the past?

people think the biggest threat to a vampire is a cleric with a stake.

they're scheming, paranoid, power-hungry beasts.

i am what i must be, says what i must be.

how does it feel to be a devil?

i can't tell if you're being silly or serious.

you have to admire the man's ambition.

i promise i will not betray your trust.

you kept me by your side despite the menace i am.

i learned quick how to stay alive.

to feel invincible again.

this isn't where i thought i'd end up.

maybe when this is all done, you can show me where you came from.

i'm not normally one to begrudge someone their secrets, but..

i'm already blessed to have you at my side.

don't you cut a fine figure.

i am not some lower city coinlad offering you a tumble.

there is nothing so depressing as learning one's true value.

i could use someone with your skills.

they're ravenous predators with fangs like daggers.

it's hardly an irrational fear to harbor.

you've been decent to me, so far.

everyone's got their own fears.

maybe that's what i like about you.

all of this was for nothing.

if you're here to help, get to the fight quickly.

gods, i thought you were one of those beasts.

i'm not chasing after it, if that's what you're thinking.

the little beast's charming once you get accustomed to the smell of rotting flesh.

#sentence meme #rp meme #sentence starters #roleplay meme #starter sentences #rp starters #rpc #starter meme #sentence prompts #sentence prompt #rp prompts #roleplay prompts #writing prompt #bg3 meme

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ace-and-the-rpg-horrors · 4 months

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infodump about my unit swap AU!! mainly how the units formed :>

the idol group: Shizuku (leader), Ena, Tsukasa, Minori

Ena's photos on social media led to her being scouted by the same modelling agency that Shizuku worked for. they become good friends and both end up as idols at Cheerful Days. Shizuku quits earlier though, because Ena saw how the other members were treating her and almost immediately was like "err no, i'm not having that" and they both left, believing that their idol days were over

meanwhile, Tsukasa has decided to take a different path to stardom, aspiring to be a world-famous idol instead of an actor, somewhat inspired by his childhood friend. however, he isn't as successful, and similarly to Minori, many of his applications have been rejected. after Shizuku left Cheerful Days, learning of his bad luck, she tries to cheer him up by suggesting he join an unofficial group with herself and Ena. he accepts reluctantly, though insists it is temporary and that he will make it to a "real" idol group one day

Shizuku begins her second year of high school like Haruka in canon, going as a normal student. one day, she finds Minori on the rooftop practicing and is reminded of the most fun parts of being an idol. she offers to help Minori improve, and- having been missing Ena and Tsukasa since the two, while still friends, weren't able to talk as much once school started- contacts them to see if they'd like to help Minori out. Minori and Tsukasa, with their similar ambition and upbeat personalities, get along instantly and Minori is now the fourth member of their group

the online indie group: Kanade (leader), Saki, Ichika, Nene

the same circumstances led to Kanade starting to compose. one day, while bored and surfing the internet in hospital, Saki came across her music and started to write lyrics for it since it has resonated with her. she eventually decided to send her lyrics to this K person, who, to her surprise, responded, and even offered that Saki join her as a lyricist

once well enough to start high school, Saki excitedly tells Ichika all about her new hobby. Ichika still longs to bring their band from their childhood back together, but with little luck talking to Honami and Shiho, eventually joins Saki and Kanade's little group. she uses her guitar to add to Kanade's music and sometimes sings Saki's lyrics

Nene was still very much affected by what had happened in her middle school performance. yet, her desire to sing remained, even though she felt she could never face an audience again. one day, as she was listening to random music while gaming, a piece from K's group turned up. she stopped what she was doing and tried singing along to it- it fit her voice perfectly, as if it was made for her. with some encouragement from Rui, she made up her mind and asked if she could be a singer for their group. the other three, impressed by her clear skill, accepted

the theatre troupe: Emu (leader), Rui, Mizuki, Airi

Emu and Rui's meeting goes similarly to canon. desperately searching for cast members, Emu catches one of his illegal shows at PXL. she sees the park security before he does as he's distracted with his performance and whisks him away to the Wonder Stage, where she asks him to join her troupe. of course, he has no reason to refuse- and in addition, he has another possible member in mind. his old friend Mizuki, who would be great help with costumes, making the stage "cuter"- and something tells Rui that they'd make for a good actress too

the next rare occasion he sees them at school, he asks them to join. hearing of the state of the stage, as well as wanting to repay Rui for his company back then, Mizuki instantly agrees

meanwhile, Emu is on the hunt for more members at her own school. Airi, having quit her old work at this point, runs into Emu at one point. Emu recognises her from TV and excitedly tells the older girl that if she joins her troupe, she'll get the chance to make many people smile and spread hope. although it isn't exactly the idol future she wished for, Airi is convinced by Emu and becomes the main singer of the troupe whenever they do musicals

the street musicians: An, Akito, Haruka, Shiho

once An and Akito found out they had the same goal, they teamed up from the start and became a duo, so An didn't try to find a singing partner and Akito never ran into Toya singing, though i think they would still be decent friends through school, but not as close as canon

Haruka went through the same situation with Mai that led to her quitting as an idol. one day, wanting a change of scenery, she decided to meet up with An at Weekend Garage and when she arrived, she was greeted with her and Akito bickering over how they should sing lines in song. Haruka stepped in with her suggestions and the pair took a liking to her singing voice and asked if she wanted to join them. for a few days, Haruka was reluctant, but eventually gave into An's pleas and started singing with them on Vivid Street

while headed to the Miyajou music room to practice her bass, Shiho walked in on Haruka practicing her singing and was impressed by her work ethic. for a few weeks, they would practice songs together, Haruka singing along to the music Shiho played on the bass. eventually, after talking to An and Akito, Haruka invited Shiho to their group

Shiho was sceptical at first, and a bit put off by An and Akito's personalities when she first met them, but once she saw how serious they were about their goal, she felt she could relate to them a little with how driven they all were. Akito, inspired by Shiho's ability to both sing and play an instrument, decided to start learning the guitar

the band: Honami, Mafuyu, Kohane, Toya

Honami, even though she feels like it's a bit pointless since Saki, Ichika and Shiho have found different music groups, as well as not having the confidence to reach out to them all again, still continues to practice her drumming, even though she doesn't really know what her aim is

Mafuyu, not having ever come across K's music, hears Honami play one day as she walks past the school's music room. she senses a fellow person who doesn't really know what they're doing with their life and wordlessly enters and begins playing the piano in the room along with the drumming. Honami is surprised but doesn't stop. that is their routine for a while, simply playing the same song together without exchanging many words, but there's a silent understanding between them

Kohane did run into An's group practicing at Weekend Garage, but didn't return after running away the first time. however, her newfound interest in music remained and she visited the music room one day as Honami and Mafuyu were playing. she recognised the song and absentmindedly started to sing it as she stood by the doorway, accidentally catching their attention. however, Honami quickly stopped her from walking away and asked her if she'd like to continue singing along to their music

the three of them eventually became a band, but it did feel like something was missing. i'm going to say that in this AU, Mafuyu and Toya's parents are friends, so they know of each other. although Toya didn't particularly want to continue with classical music, he figured playing with people he could potentially befriend was much better than complete strangers, so when Mafuyu offers him a place in their group, he accepts. he becomes best friends with Kohane and agrees to become the violinist for their band. they often play at the Aoyagi house since it's got the most space

cross unit relationships

Rui and Nene: as childhood friends and neighbours, they are still extremely close despite not being in the same group. Rui is often in the background when Nene's on Nightcord calls. they share ideas with each other- though Nene does feel slightly down when she hears about everything Rui gets up to in his new theatre troupe as she somewhat wishes she was still able to join one

An and Kohane: never fear, Anhane will still occur despite them being in different units. Toya and Kohane head to Weekend Garage one day because Toya heard that their coffee was good and Kohane gets the opportunity to actually speak to An. they agree to stay in touch

Shizuku and Airi: they briefly met while they were both in the idol industry and remained good friends. Shizuku takes Airi's advice regarding being an idol and Airi is often inviting Shizuku to come see their shows. however, Shizuku always ends up lost, especially with the Wonder Stage in such an obscure location, so Airi has to send Rui to go looking for her- since he often plays the villain, he tends not to appear in performances until a bit later, giving him the time to go searching even when the show's due to begin

there are others but i am soooooooooo tired. this ended up well longer than expected

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protectingtulpas · 4 months

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sorry if I'm being annoying because you probably already answered to a lot of questions like that but I'm very new to tulpamancy so do you have any tips for a beginner ? Thank you in advance!

Hmmmm there aint much context here but I'll give ya some tips I can think of for the most basic of beginners!

- learning to listen to ur own head is a skill in of itself, and it's an instinct you gotta develop. My host did it by learning to do stuff in our headspace before working on me, but the basic skills ya want are being able to listen to the instinctive responses of your brain, being able to focus on your internal state over a long time, and (eventually) multitasking doing something in ur head and in outerworld at the same time. We have adhd so having something to do in headspace helped a Lot. Some of my earliest memories are of choosing where to go in headspace.

- A lot of places will tell you about active forcing and how important it is to dedicate time to your tulpa, but our greatest advances personally always happened when I was being shown something in headspace or outerworld, getting some kinda stimulus or thing host thought would be interesting to me. So while yeah just paying attention to your tulpa is important too, especially in the very early stages, don't be afraid to do things with them! Give em experiences, things to base their identity off of. Your tulpa is speedrunning learning how to be a person, they can't do that in a bubble!

- When you're starting out tulpamancy, it's common to base your tulpa off of some kinda predetermined guidelines like personality traits, likes, or even a character or concept- that's how I was made, and how I'm a fictive. It also makes it easier to kickstart their creation and feel their presence faster. But be careful not to rely on that framework too much, cus it can make you paranoid later on. For a couple examples: maybe Host A starts working on Fictive Tulpa B, and she knows how he acts in-canon so well that she struggles to tell if she's actually getting responses from him or if she's just automatically judging what the character would say. In another example, Host Y has been forcing Tulpa Z with a specific set of traits, and when Z diverged and expressed an opinion contradictory to that framework, Host Y began panicking and thinking xe did something wrong. In both cases, Host A and Host Y are focusing too much on what they expect their tulpas to be, and not enough on how they are in the present and the development of their autonomy.

- You probably won't get much vocal response right away, especially if you're starting out as a singlet. You gotta watch for more subtle cues when you're just starting out, like feeling their presence, them moving their headspace form, or sharing positive or negative feelings. Sharing emotions and thoughts without actual words is pretty common in systems, and in the tulpamancy community it's called tulpish. Be on the lookout for nonverbal communication like that, because it's some of the first stuff we can do! Also, something lots of new tulpamancers report are head pressures, which are like really mild temple headaches that come with lots of forcing or the presence of your tulpa. (feels like the "expanding brain" meme irl if im being honest LOL) If you're struggling to tell if you're making any progress, try paying attention for that too.

That's about all I can think of for now! Good luck to ya anon ✨ check out my #tulpamancy advice tag for more!

#tulpamancy advice #tulpamancy #tulpa #endogenic system #pro tulpa #endogenic #tulpamancer

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lady-zoras-artroom · 6 months

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[Update Note: Concept has changed, but enjoy what I've made!]

Okay!!! I got Lupin OCs!!! Here's one!

Be for warned, Long Post!

Yes, her name is spelled that way and she changed it to be so! Her actual name is Bonnie Anne (Some last name that relates her to an Infamous Arms Dealer in the black market).

Her whole deal is that, she was at one of Lupin's Heists, a big party where all the Fat Cats are gathered to do business and exchanges the Goods.

When she first saw Lupin making his getaway (goods in hand), she immediately crushes on him!

Her story is a work in progress, and so is her color pallet, but the jist is that, she is trying to discorver True Happiness and to keep far away from her father as much as possible. So when she saw Lupin III himself, she felt something! Not sure what it was, but because of this feeling she devises a plan to capture Lupin - wanting to meet him in person!

Because of Lupin's Successful Heist, she takes the opportunity to steal some money and make a getway of her own with her personal body guard/best friend, Galsan (Nicknamed "Terra").

Now on the run and hiding from her father, she calculates and plans the perfect scheme taking note of the heist she witnessed.

She changes her name slightly to be what it is now and with her trusted connections, she was able to set up a temporary base of operations. It would also be the stage of where she will set the trap for Lupin!

Plan: Challenge Lupin III to steal a lost treasure hidden within the confinds of a tower!

The goal: Entice and Steal Lupin's heart!

Bonnie conducts research by contacting Zenigata as he is the only one rich with Knowledge about the Lupin Gang! Of course, she isn't going to let the Inspector succeed in capturing the infamous theif, but makes him thinks so!

Everything that Zenigata had on the group as well as Fujiko was all she needed! Learning about them esspecially Lupin excited her!

I say the time frame took perhaps almost a year to set up as the setting needed to be as believable as possible! Bonnie then has a stand-in (who is male) to announce the creation of the tower and the prize waiting inside! Make him seem like he's the mastermind when he isn't that way Lupin is more interested!

Details: The Tower is built like a gauntlet. The lower levels are available to the public as a museum for the "Lost Treasure". The treasure is displayed in a bullet proof casing for the public to see. Then when the museum closes, it is elevated to the top of the tower under very heavy security and protection!

Now, I'm not sure what Lupin will do as I do not know how to write spy/theif action stories, I can think up concepts. But I do know he not only does succeed, but gets an unexpected surprise!

Plot twist, the treasure was agreed to be faked by Zenigata and Bonnie, but in actuality, it was real and Bonnie is "wearing" it (she hid it between her boobs [and it was on purpose])!

Bonnie used her connections to get the real thing and makes an offer to him!

Offers in order:

- Let her become part of the Lupin Gang! She will supply them with needed necessities through her trusted connections (though she does have a budget)

- Become her boyfriend! She wants to see who Lupin is in person! Though she was told by Zenigata how shameful and criminal Lupin is, weridly enough that only interested her further.

- I kid you not, this is what she wants: Have Lupin sleep with her! Like no shame whatsoever! She's 28 btw, she's just short, like 5'3 and just as horny!

If anything, Lupin meets his match here - both in terms of skill and romance! I'm thinking their relationship does start off as a mutual agreement. Lupin gets to experience what it's like to be genuinely liked or crushed on as Bonnie would be holding his cheeks and just gushing about how cute and handsome he is! He's still after the treasure of course, but Bonnie will make sure it's a challenge for him! Teasing him, playing around, making him chase her and stuff. She's got tricks up her dress, let me tell ya!

What I want to do basically is like, build up their relationship as I do wanna ship them! OCxCanon is valid and I will die on that hill. I want them to have depth and go into detail about what kind of relationship the two want. I esspecially wanna go over what exactly Lupin and Fujiko's relationship is. How long are they gonna keep playing these games with each other? Will Bonnie understand what it's like to have a relationship? The sacrifices and dedication it takes to maintain one?

Yeah, I wanna explore all that. This is just for fun! Anyway, I'll work on her pallet and share Galsan's stuff!

#artists on tumblr #fan art #lupin the third #lupin the 3rd #lupin iii #lupin iii oc #zsocs #oc x canon

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rouninren · 6 months

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i feel like my brainworms are legit nerfing me

oversharing ahead but i honestly don't care nor see this as a big deal. what's the point of living if i can't talk about my life

i'm not sure what to do about it... one thing they don't warn about when it comes to recovery, you kind of go "backwards" in your timeline, unfolding deeper and deeper traumas. this leads to addressing needs that for most healthy individuals have been satisfied during appropriate stages of development. and it's kind of hard to navigate through, and the deeper into childhood, the harder. and the dumber some issues are.

like...

i identified one of major sources of my art block through noticing the same pattern while learning japanese. i have an exam next month, and i'm sitting here just clowning around, avoiding touching my workbooks. i don't have any struggles learning it. in fact, i'm catching things quickly and if i practiced, i would have been better. but i just can't make myself study, and the block is so strong, it's paralyzing me the same way my art does.

why learn or do anything, if 1. there are people who are better at it, from those who studied better to native speakers, or in case with art, are more creative and have been going to art school since they fell out of the womb 2. i get nothing from it, no praise, no attention, nothing. no change in attitude towards me (this phrasing suits better, considering what i'm about to say next)

and one can think of bajillion things to debunk these points. like, who the fuck cares, do what you like, engage in things that make you happy, also learning skills or expressing oneself through art doesn't render "nothing" as a result, like, it's obvious how both can be monetized, if we're going for "practical" needs, and how many other opportunities await me that can broaden horizons and enrich my existence.

but... but.

the entity we're trying to tell these things isn't the current, conscious mind of 30 year old me.

it's an ostracized, bullied, weird tween that seems to be doing good at school, where the kid finds escapism from issues at home. the kid is called a goddamn little genius at first, but eventually it all becomes boring or doesn't go in line with school program, it's annoying, the kid is fucking annoying too, can't come up with anything useful or worthy everyone's time. so the kid scribbles random shit to escape or vent about both school and home life. or just embraces art. and hey, looks like these skills are cool and complex enough to catch everyone's attention once again and be the cool artist daughter/cousin/friend/whatever i was called to have, i'm considered talented and useful again. for a while. didn't last long because it's all still essentially useless. aaaaaaaaaaaaaa help

(ok random cringy note but i have been thinking recently how fandom often draws spamton the way i used to dress in my mid teens; the time when every bit of hope or resemblance of peace in my life crashed beyond retrieve. he's my spirit animal now)

like. words and lack of full background (which i won't go into in public obviously sjxjskxsxj) can't really explain why something that doesn't sound like a big deal as i type it left such a huge impact on me. my life at home was like a pure nightmare at some point, and came with serious baggage i still yet to unpack. my life at school sucked a lot, except for two years where i switched schools and it brought some relief, albeit temporarily. there were days where i would spend a whole night up, being on full alert for any random reason, including physically fighting or eavesdropping every noise i can hear behind my door, hoping i won't get stabbed or raped in my sleep. that's why i have issues sleeping these days and wake up from every tiny fucking noise. and after that, i would go to school and say i literally couldn't do my homework and none of these fuckheads cared, they called me useless, lazy, and threatened with consequences. yeah, "being useful" became tied close to "having a right to live" because of all the fucking mess that went on, the puzzle is coming together.

as i was reading pete walker's book "complex ptsd: from surviving to thriving", bits about describing traumatized children growing into completely dysfunctional adults, to the point where they're on disability and literally can't function at all, i thought about how i essentially sabotaged myself through thing i described above.

if i didn't deliberately ruin everything, i may have had a network of artists at this point, probably opportunities that i can't even think of, stable income, probably also a stable community, but i just dipped right when i was getting more and more interesting commission requests, getting more known, merch being done with my art, people being interested in my stuff, getting some cool opportunities, some of which were even about to spread outside fandom circles...

that hole of void inside, that feeling of uselessness and not being enough, has been growing (along with other issues i had, but still) until it burst and i was avoiding it all like plague, saying "no" to everyone who came to me until they stopped coming, obsessing over being the lamest artist featured everywhere, being afraid to create because it felt like i'm ruining paper/canvas/digital spaces/etc with my essence, that i'm not allowed to make myself present in anyone's life, unless i earned that right through being "useful", and even then i still experienced paranoia and severe anger issues and so, so, so many other things that led me to be diagnosed with a mood disorder, a personality disorder, and then put on antipsychotics and antidepressants.

...

you know, now that i'm typing this all out, i'm thinking that this made it all even worse. i'm even more scared of approaching these issues, because now they have a "take a pill and shut up" layer to it. "you're born useless and don't have a place among us, sedate yourself so you stop being a nuisance to everyone". "no, the world is completely fine, you're the broken one". "normal people live fine with X and Y, you're just crazy, delusional, sick, yOuR BraIn ChEmIcAlS ArE OfF meNtAL iLLness Is WHen Ur BraIn Is BrokeN1!1 MentAl DisorDers ExisT In VacUuM U jUsT WeRe BorN MenThollY EEL TAKE THIS COCKTAIL OF DANGEROUS DRUGS WITH A BUNCH OF SIDE EFFECTS THAT WILL KILL THE REST OF YOUR MIND!!111"

i have no idea in the fucking slightest what to do. i'm doing much, much better than ever. i could even say, i'm very close to being normal, at least in the way i define it. but everything that has to do with vague definition of occupation, hobby, and collective/community? i'm kinda just brute forcing things as of now, idk.

but i don't think i can push it this way for long, cuz... progress in my skills doesn't heal. using a new language doesn't heal. finishing projects, no matter how fun or cool, doesn't heal. getting praised for these doesn't heal. getting paid for my art (or anything at all in theory) doesn't heal. socializing doesn't heal, i just do it in spite of lil demon behind my shoulder constantly whispering me that i'm everyone's laughing stock/annoyance/whatever and everyone i'm interested in wants me away. having some people prove these delusions to me in the past few years didn't help either.

maybe i'll come to solution later, as i always do, but as of now... i'm stuck and i don't know where to start

#ronin.txt #venting #? i guess #it's more of a processing #and typing things out so i could work on them better ig #long post #lmao #also you know what imma tag this with #anti psychiatry #because why the fuck not

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zenkindoflove · 26 days

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When you first started writing did you ever feel embarrassed even tho no one but you was reading it?? Idk how to get past this feeling lol

Hey anon! This is a great question that I think a lot of writers can relate to this feeling.

I think what you're describing is something a lot of us fall into when we first start writing - which is fixating on our audience in our heads when we are at the drafting stage. I started writing fiction when I was really young and was a little too cringe and not self aware enough to get that embarrassed back then. But when I started writing fanfic, when I knew there would be an audience, I definitely went through a phase of that. I also went through that phase when I started to write academically in graduate school. Suddenly my work was going to be read by more than just a professor in a class. And I would get in my head about how I was wording things.

My best advice is to not judge what you write when it first comes out. First drafts are always bad, especially when you're experimenting with something new. The editing phase is where you can really start turning a more critical eye. But you need to have something first and being too critical too early can impede you producing that draft.

And when you do edit, don't be hard on first draft you. First draft you needed to do what they could to get the job done. That is the only job for first draft you - write it. Second draft you will make it better, and third draft, and fourth, and etc. First drafts do not truly display your talent, skill, or depth of your argument or analysis (depending what type of writing you're doing). Different talents and skills are used depending on what stage of the writing process you are. And the finished product is a culmination of them all. So if that is what is making you embarrassed, try to keep that in mind. I work in proposal development for grant writing now and we give the exact same advice to people writing more academically as well.

If you're embarrassed about the content of what you're writing - if you worry it's too self indulgent or no one is going to understand it for example - that is also a common insecurity I think all writers have. I certainly do. I cannot tell you how often when I'm writing I'm like "this is so stupid. No one is going to like this" and then I give myself some space and come back to it and think it's not that bad now that I'm out of my self critical spiral. But really, try to write more indulgently! It not only will make you happier, but if you do share it one day, the right audience will find it and appreciate it for what it is.

So that's a long winded way to say - being embarrassed is normal but also something you learn to get over with time and practice. You soon realize that voice in your head telling you this is stupid or not good enough is just a mouthy passenger that you can mostly ignore and nothing bad is going to happen if you do. I also can't express enough how supportive fanfiction communities are. I think it's such a good space to share your work with a supportive audience especially if you're wanting that ego boost to try and brave more critical audiences.

#writing advice #anon asks #thank you for sending in this question anon #and i hope you share your writing someday

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logically-asexual · 1 year

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it's been 3 years since putting others first. Thomas keeps teasing the finale but that's about it, I think he's trying to do more Sanders Sides now since he's (finally!) realize that he can't give us nothing forever and we'll be happy about it.

My guess is that the fandom will resurrect for a bit before going back to other stuff since it'll probably be forever until the part 2 of the finale comes out.

What Thomas NEEDS to do, probably when posting the first part, is to establish a clear timeline of when stuff will happen.

like in the end credits show off a schedule like "part 2 will be posted in October, part three around January and part four in March" or something like that with approximate estimations of when we'll get the parts.

That'll help keep the fandom and momentum going. Not all the waiting with the tiniest little hints that don't tell us anything. Like it's been 3 years, before that wasn't there like a year between that and the episode before? The waits are getting longer, and people are sick of it. What's the point in seeing the first part of the finale when it'll take years to see the next part, especially if it's four parts. That's a long ass time.

Thomas has also said that once part 1 is done that the rest will be easier, ig he's writing all the scripts now. But there'll still be a wait, so to me I think there's 2 options Thomas could go with.

the timeline of approximately when all the parts will come out

or, make the 4 parts into one, or 2 parts. More content means that people will probably be more forgiving of a long wait for the next part. A big part of this fandom is analyzing EVERYTHING after all, more content = more stuff to analyze

either way his current method of "teasers" and "I'm working on it I swear!" then making a lot of new series that take up a lot of time and energy while not mentioning Sanders Sides at all isn't working.

So many people are pointing out that they where [age] when [episode] came out and how much older they are now.

Sanders Sides started 6 years ago, at this rate I doubt there'll be a season 2, if there is, I hope that Thomas realizes he doesn't need something like another Forbidden Fruit for every episode. The production value can go down, that'd be preferable to these long ass waits.

that's why Asides was created and it's suffered the same fate of production value being super high when it just doesn't have to be to be a good episode. Writing > production value every time.

At this point I'd absolutly encourage Thomas to finish the finale and move on and do other things that he's passionate about and grow that new audience or maybe even step back from youtube all together, he's been online a long time after all.

i think there’s problems at both the writing and the production stages. and yes both are probably because they’ve set this standard, like you said, with Forbidden Fruit

in terms of writing this high standard won’t let them do anything other than tackle huge issues that need a lot of research and that have a lot of points to address, of which they don’t want to leave anything out in fear that it will leave way for inaccurate interpretations of the issue they’re discussing.

and in terms of production well it’s obvious that they just keep making the videos more and more complicated even when it’s not necessary, since what charmed us back in 2017 was thomas’s incredible acting and editing skills that made everything seem so effortless, how relatable the videos were, and how clever the jokes and little hints for analyzing were.

thomas wants to explore what he can do and try bigger things and i support that, but that doesn’t mean that he has to make huge things every single time. it’s like he learned nothing from Am I Original. and also if that’s just not what the fans want and he cares enough about that to affect the writing of the characters this much, then he should also listen in that aspect. and he could try the cool special effects more often somewhere else.

and about setting a timeline i don’t know. that’s a whole mess with thomas’s personal feelings that i don’t enough about and i also wouldn’t have any idea how to fix anyway. at first he would say “new video this friday!” and no video would come and he would say that he needed more days and then it would end up taking a couple more weeks. and we would tell him over and over that we didn’t mind but he and joan still felt bad. and then they decided no more posting deadlines, but they still had deadlines that they set for themselves or for sponsors and they still couldn’t stick to them even when they worked through days and nights. i could just go “well it’s clear that the issue isn’t the deadline and you should just find a more efficient way of working” but that’s so easy to say and what does it even mean? who am i to say that kind of thing, i know nothing about them and what they have and haven’t tried to do. so idk.

i do think the best case scenario is if they were able to say “next part will come out on [date]!” and then somehow for that to actually happen because it would guarantee constant fandom activity between videos. which we all would love. but i just don’t know if that’s possible.

#ts criticism

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rockturbot · 1 year

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for the ask meme: 4, 5, 6, 8, 9, 13, 22, 26, 29! (a lot, but i'm curious XD)

9 and 29 answered here.

4. Fav character/subject that’s a bitch to draw I love Manfred's suit jacket but man are the lapels annoying to draw. I've tried making custom brushes to save time but never got them to look right )x I'll have to keep drawing them manually.

5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself I think I post maybe 5% of what I draw. Lots of stuff never makes it past the sketch stage, there's doodles for fandoms I don't think anyone here cares about, or just drawings where I get into some kind of perfectionist loop where when I improve one thing I think the rest of the drawing now looks super bad, so I improve those things, now the other things look bad ... etc. Some are also technically finished drawings I either just don't feel good enough about to post or that would need like 25 layers of headcanons explained to make sense.

6. Anything that might inspire you subconsciously (i.e. this horse wasn’t supposed to look like the Last Unicorn but I see it) Every time I rewatch the first two or three seasons of the Detective Conan anime I notice small things that make me go, oh, that's where I learned how to draw that?

8. What’s an old project idea that you’ve lost interest in I don't really lose interest in ideas like that. I just have a very long and continuously growing list of stuff I'd like to do, and which of these things feel the most urgent depends on what I'm obsessed with at the moment plus what skills I'd need to do the idea justice vs. what level my skills currently are.

I guess one thing I've postponed indefinitely because I think it's still going to take a while until my art is good enough is rewriting the episodes of The Professionals into one coherent plot and then drawing that as a comic, just for myself. That show is one of my special interests and every time I finish a rewatch I just feel so sad and empty because it just ends. There is no more! :( And I think maybe I'll feel a little less sad if I tell myself a version of the story that's ... well, an actual story, with an actual plot and emotional resolution and stuff where an ending actually makes sense to my brain, instead of episodes with no overarching plot that eventually just run out.

13. A creator who you admire but whose work isn’t your thing Can't think of any. I mean, I admire creators because their work is my thing, so ...

22. What physical exercises do you do before drawing, if any None (':

26. What’s a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended There's a painting I made in 20...12? 2013? of a scene in an original story I was working on at the time. My mother, who knows nothing about the story except that it exists and that this painting is connected to it, is convinced one of the characters is supposed to be me and is trying to get me to admit it to this day. Her ironclad logic? The character is wearing green :) No matter how much I tell her that doesn't mean anything, she just. Won't believe me. Maybe she would if I showed her the story, but I don't think I'm going to do that. Her interpretation of what's even going on in the painting is already so wildly different from what's actually happening, I think revealing the truth would just be super awkward. She says she thinks it's a prayer circle of some kind or something. It's, uh. It's supposed to be a public execution. Whoops.

Ask meme

#not art #green is my favorite color and I do wear and always have worn it a lot #but ... come on.

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scoups4lyfe · 2 years

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Hebi Anon

I need to stop going too fast when writing out long thongs because I forgot another extremely important thought I have about Taro's "relationship" with the others

Understanding is a two way street. Haruka at least has shown that she's putting in the effort to understand. Going to Jin to learn Taro's history and asking the questions of what is happening to try and understand their shared predicament of the Noto Layer. These are actions taken to understand Taro.

However, as I said before, I feel that Taro's not trying to understand on his end, which is frustrating to me. I'm neurodivergent and the word runs off of what I see are strange and arbitrary rules, so I ask questions and seek answers to understand. Trying to understand and failing I can get, but not trying at all is just AGH

(Yeah as you can probably tell, I don't like Taro. Sorry about that)

Haahahahahaha It's okay yo -- I'm more than sure that I'm liking Tarou enough for everyone else in this entire world

LOL

I can understand your frustration here :33. As someone used to actively seeking answers to understand whatever my lil homie's got going on would be More Than infuriating (lol).

But the thing is ---and I think this is important to state here ---

there are some things in life that you have to learn.

My friend Sushi is exactly (handshake) with you when it comes to asking questions and seeking answers when you fail to understand, because that would be the rational thing to do right?

Well I'm the opposite

(HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA rip)

And this is because I'm DAIJI ™ .

I was raised the same-ish way where since everyone else did everything for me, the idea of searching for answers (that, for example, my parents would just tell me) NEVER pops into my head first

instead I speedrun through all the stages of grief and have a full-on meltdown and then, MAYBE I'll think 'Oh yeah -- I can just google this?'

This is my learned helplessness nerfing me in the face (yeehaw). I'm used to being handed answers, to the point that I never think about asking questions ---that even the mere IDEA of asking when I'm confused doesn't ever pop inside my head

9/10 I go "Guess I'll die" and hope that I understand enough to get whatever confusing thing or situation solved.

For a long time I didn't understand show versus tell. But when I did BOOK CLUB with J and Nacho, their live-blogging of the material we read each month gave me that skill. Hearing Nacho say:

"Okay author-nim, why are you telling us this??? You should be showing us this instead" had me going

"O!!! That IS telling!!!!" and now I'm a pro when it comes to that topic.

Book Club started in November of 2020 -- so this skill was developed relatively not too long ago, but it wouldn't have developed at ALL if I didn't hear my comrades honest thoughts and criticism.

It's the same with analysis, I remember in my freshman year of college, after reading passages of the assigned literature, the professor (this is for english / english LIT classes) would ask: "Thoughts? Questions?"

And no lie it would be like

"You people got thoughts on these things??? Y'all got QUESTIONS????" ....But after experiencing class discussion enough, it became easier and easier to begin to learn how to ask questions or how to analyze the material I was consuming. Because I learned what questions I needed to be asking.

This happened because of (1) Proximity, (2) being challenged, and (3) learning through Osmosis.

I said in the previous ask, that Momoi hasn't ever been challenged. So while it might be obvious to ask questions and try to find answers, Momoi's never learned this. He's never needed to learn this.

Because he's been good at everything he's ever done, and had no one to help him grow (say, socially) he doesn't have the skills to ask questions. Why would he need to ask when he just does it easily, anyways? When he never had any trouble? He's never had to ask --so now he doesn't have the language he needs to learn how to understand, or how to seek out that understanding.

Something he DOES have trouble with is the social aspect of life. But again, all he knows is that he's wrong somehow --- he doesn't know why, he doesn't understand, and he has no one to ask, he doesn't even know how to ask.

He just accepts it as fact.

And because of this he operates on Momoi™ logic.

#Momoi doesn't understand not for lack of trying #its a skill #and he never learned it because no one challenged him to learn it #We are the environments and ppl we've been raised around #Your frustration with Momoi is because he is on the exact opposite side of how you've learned to navigate life #hence the 'wtf you freak???'#Believe me he isn't doing this maliciously #he really just doesn't know and doesn't know how to ask #which is a personal tragedy of someone in his situation RIP #my thougts #avataro sentai donbrothers #donbrothers liveblog #donbrothers #6 peach falls #before harvesting season #who let delivery boy bring a parade float to a gun fight #sentaisouped #hebi anon 🫡🤝💋#asks

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nevermore-the-kitsune · 3 years

Text

Pokemon Teams for Fictional Characters pt. 2

Damian Wayne

(Also, I'm not including move sets because in my headcannon Pokemon do remember all their old moves. But humans choose to only use four)

For this AU I'm having the Wayne's own the Gotham City Gym, which specializes in Dark types. Most of the cannon events still happened. Just with a few tweaks here and there. (Dick's 20, Jason's 16, Cass is 15 Tim's 15 but younger than Cass and Damian's 13 because I love AUs where there closer in age).

Anyway here we go!

First things first in the Pokemon Universe his alias wouldn't be Robin since they don't exist. Instead I think it would be Rookidee, since thats the closest Pokemon to a Robin.

His Partner Pokemon and ace would be a Gligar

Name: Goliath

Gender: Male

Why: Gligar screams Goliath (his Batdragon) plus the coloring of his evolutions matches with Dami's Robin and Batman outfits

Story: He found Goliath while climbing a mountain for his training. At the time he was four and Goliath was a hatching. Damian ended up giving him some food, seeing that the hatching was hungry.

Grateful, the Gligar followed him hoping to return the favor.

When Damian's hand got broken on that same trip, Goliath was the one to help him finish his mission and get home safely.

Talia was impressed that Damian could tame a wild Pokemon without catching it, so she allowed him to keep him as his first Pokemon.

-----

Next he would have a Meowth

Name: Alfred

Gender: Female

Why: This one has to do with its evolution. Persian are said to only be loyal to trainers it likes and that it takes a lot to get them to like you. Their also said to be prissy and uptight. This reminded me of Damian. How it took forever for him to trust his brothers and his own snobby attitude. Thus I think it fits.

Story: After coming to live with his father Damian didn't know how to act. He saw his "brothers" and father treating their Pokemon so different than how the League did. They all trained hard. But, there was something eles: warm praise for a job well done, asking for insight on a case (they had taught their bipedal pokemon sighn language) and comfort on a bad day. His father and brothers treated their Pokemon like... people

In the League Pokemon where the lowest soldier, lower than the slaves or concubines. They trained, ate then they had to and got in their ball.

He had been a little more lenient in his training with Goliath. When asked he said that he was still a baby and he had to take things slow in this stage or he might develop too much muscle mass and be unable to fly.

He had kept him out of his ball with the excuse of developing muscle mass at a proper pace.

He liked Goliath's company. The Gligar was a good companion. But on the same level as another person?

He had expressed these thoughts to Pennyworth, the only person in the house to give him a straight answer when he needed it.

Pennyworth had explained to him that some people love to hold power over others and that Pokemon where an easy target, since they couldn't communicate their emotions as clearly as people could.

"Think of Mistress Cain. She sometimes cannot communicate with words, but we know that she's intelligent. But some people see her as less than intelligent and treat her as such because of the power it gives them."

Two weeks later Damian would come across a group of teenagers attempting to shave a Meowth. The Pokemon was little more than skin and bone and crying out on pain. So, Damian broke their fingers and shaved part of their heads for good measure.

He kept the Meowth and named her after the man who taught him about the abuse of power.

---

Next, a Poochyena

Name: Titus

Gender: Male

Why: These Pokemon and their evolution are ruthless with their pray, and only obey trainers with external skill.

Story: Raven gave Damian Titus as a gift. She said that she rescued him from an underground fighting ring (where the battles are to the death). He was still to young to battle so he didn't need much rehabilitation. The other Pokemon there though...

---

Now we have a Type Null

Name: Heretic

Gender: ???

Why: This Pokemon was created in lab, and artificial designed for the purpose of fighting, just like Damian. True I could have given him Mewtwo, but that cat seems to fit Kon more.

Story: Damian's mother had spent years creating Type: Null with the purpose of being able to kill any target. As a last test she wanted to see which of her creations was suppirrior. So she sent the Type Null out to (try and) kill her son.

Damian, with the rest of his team, beat the Pokemon but couldn't kill it. He had long since vowed to wash the blood from his hands. Instead he offered his hand to it and asked it to join him.

---

Here we have the hardest to explain... Mimikyu

Name: Habibi (I hope I spelled that right)

Gender: Female

Why: Damian is complex, he wants to be accepted and loved just like Mimikyu but dosent know how. Both try to mimic others in order to get that love, Damian his father and Mimikyu Pikachu. So I see this as Damian's spirit Pokemon in a way.

Story: He didn't know why it was so hard to fit in. Gods know he tried. But... little things confused him. Like how eveyone could understand each other without words or singhing. He had no problems with that on a battlefield, but in day to day life; it felt like he was on a separate server.

Like how Todd knew at breakfast with just a look that Drake was in a bad mood and how to help. Or how Grayson could audomadicly tell what kind of day at school the rest of them had withen a few minutes. Hell even Drake could tell what grunts ment what from father! Which ment good job, Which ment I'm glade your okay, or frustration either at them or at a case (Cass didn't surprise him, she had to learn how to communicate without words and watch body language and micro expressions).

School was no better; sometimes it was to load or bright othertimes, when everyone was doing a test, it felt to quiet. But, to much or to little, Damian was always aware of every movement, every sound. It was like the very instincts that saved his life every night where turned against him.

He turned to his nearly forgotten childhood habits to distract himself from everything around him. That only led to more whisper shouting and what even he could tell where displeased glares with a grunt of "fucking tapping" or a snap of "stop!" He knew it was disrupting but it was all be could do to drown out the noise or silence.

On one particularly bad day at school; apparently during one of their tests one of his classmates had had enough of Damian's tapping and decided to make a scene.

There was some yelling from the kid. A few cries in agreement. Before the teacher had gotten hem to settle down. He had demanded that Damian look him in the eye and when he finally did told him to stop with the tapping or else he would be sent to the office, Gym Leaders son or not.

He was the last to finish that test where he normally finished first. The silence had been to load!!

After that clusterfuck Damian finally headed home. He had texted Grayson saying that he was meeting a friend somewhere to work on a project and to not pick him up. In truth he didn't want his brother reading what kind of day he had had. He needed some time to himself.

That was how he found himself in a nearby park. It was filled with plenty of sounds that didn't suffocate him and the fall leaves where soothing to his eyes. Damian had Titus out of his ball as company, knowing that the pup loved park walks.

They had been walking for an hour when they came across a box set off just on the edge of the trail. "Free to Good Homes" was written on the side in black sharpie.

No sound was coming from inside, so he assumed that the had all been taken. Until Titus went closer sniffing at the seemingly empty box.

"Pooch Pooch"

"Hmmm... what is is it boy?" He asked as he walked closer to his Pokemon and the Box. Damian hoped he was wrong. It was cruel to leave a baby Pokemon all alone, especially since the weather was getting colder by the day.

Inside the box was in fact a lone Pokemon. At first glance it looked like a Pikachu. But something was off. It looked more like a doll than a living creature. If it wasn't for the small chirps it let out and slight way that it was shivering from the cold Damian would have written it off as a toy. No wonder it got left behind...

Damian reached down and picked up the mystery Pokemon as gently as he could.

"Come on beloved, lets go home."

He tucked the Pokemon in his jacket to warm it up before reaching for his phone to call Grayson for a ride home.

That night Damian locked himself away, even skipped patrol, and spent a sleepless night learning everything he could about his newest Pokemon.

---

That was inspired by this comic

---

Finaly, for his last spot Eevee!!

Name: Omni

Gender: Female

Why: I'm going to have all the Batfam members have an Eeveelution. This branch and the Batfam are both growing consistently. We all have our favorites but we love them all the same. So I think it fits.

Story: Everyone in the family had an Eevee or one of its evolutions. Damian's Father said that Eevee was the Wayne family symbol, it was potential, the ability to become whatever you wanted.

Though it surprised Damian that the Wayne symbol wasn't a Noibat or Noivern (Batman's ace) at first he eventually understood the logic in choosing such a Pokemon to represent the family name. That only made things harder for him being the only one not having one. Did they not truly see him as family?

On the one year anniversary of Damian arriving at The Mannor, his family through a small party. Pennyworth made his favorite foods, The Mannor was decorated in tacky streamers (Graysons' idea) and they watched some of Damian's favorite fims, their Pokemon curled up with them. His father had offered to take the day off from the gym. Until Todd suggested that Damian take on the challengers.

The Gotham gym was part of his heritage. Damian had been training for the day that he could finally help weed out the weak challengers just like his siblings sometimes did (think the battles you do before challenging a gym leader in the games).

On that day, if the challengers agreed to it, their final battle wasn't with Bruce Wayne the Dark Knight but instead his son. Most accepted thinking that it would be an easy win, that they had lucked out in not having to battle one of the stongest Gym Leaders in the League and could still get the Shadow Badge.

Those poor fools.

Damian was only allowed to use Alfred, Titus and Habibi since he used Goliath and Heretic primarily as Rookidee.

Damian fought seven trainers that day in 3v3 fights. Only two of them got the badge.

With the day overwith and the night rising, so did Gothams' protecters.

The night ended with exhausted body's and adrenaline crashes. Damian was ready to slip into a mini coma from the day he had but before he could head upstairs to The Mannor...

"Not so fast baby bat." Graysons' voice called out to him. "We got one more surprise for you."

Damian raised his eyebrow at that. What else could they do? His father came back from the locker rooms where he had been desuiting, it always took him the longest because of his "old man bones" as Todd said.

"Son," his father said "its Wayne tradition to get your first Pokemon when you turn ten years old. I missed that with you." He paused, eyes briefly shifting to the floor before they snapped back on Damian's face. "Luckily there's one tradition we didn't miss. When you've lived at The Mannor for a year or the adoption papers get finalized, I give my children this..."

He pulled a Poke'ball out of his poket and handed to Damian. "Go on son, let them out."

He did

Staring at him was his own Eevee.

---

AN: All of Damian's Pokemon (sans maybe Omni, I'm thinking of leaving her as an Eevee) will eventually evolve. Eventually.

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jumukus · 3 years

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A3! Translation: Tasuku Takato’s SSR [Straddle a Noble Steed] - Alpha Horseback Archery

Tasuku, Muku, Citron and Izumi joined a horseback archery trial thanks to the tickets Citron received from the neighborhood association.

Citron: Listen up, guys! I've got something good from the neighborhood association.

Izumi: Something good?

Muku: What is it, Citron-sama?

Citron: Book at this, everybody!

Itaru: You mean, "Look at this"?

Citron: Ta-dah! Four tickets to the horseback archery trial!

Izumi: Horseback archery!? You mean, the one where you ride a horse and shoot a bow?

Banri: Never knew there's a trial for that.

Citron: I'll be going on next weekend. Raise your hand if you can join!

Muku: Can I tag along? I want to try horseback archery!

Citron: I knew you'd say that, Muku! It's decided, then~.

Muku: Thank you! I hope I can hit the target with style.

Izumi: I'm sure you can, Muku-kun. You're good at horseback riding, after all.

Muku: Ehehe. I had fun riding a horse back then!

Itaru: I'll pass. I can already tell I'm going to fall from the horse.

Citron: I knew you'd say that, Itaru! It's decided, then~.

Itaru: How about you, Banri? I have a feeling you'll be good at it.

Banri: Haha, yeah, I probably can do it if I try but I have plans next weekend.

Citron: Oh, that's too bad! I wanted to see you doing horseback archery~.

Muku: Same here! Since I'm sure you will look cool doing that, I want to see it!

Izumi: There's nothing we can do since he has plans on that day. Such a shame, though, indeed.

Itaru: Not you all going, "Oh, that's too bad," when Banri could not join but said nothing when it was me. LOL.

Citron: How about you, Director?

Izumi: Huh? Me? I don't have any plans on that day…

Citron: You should join us, then! We have three people with this!

Izumi: What? I'm not really confident I can do it…

*door opens*

Tasuku: I'm home. What are you talking about?

Citron: Oh! To think you're back at this time, this must be good riddance!

Itaru: You mean, "God's guidance"?

Citron: Tasuku! Join us in horseback archery next weekend!

Tasuku: Horseback archery? I don't understand what you're talking about...

Banri: Citron got tickets to a horseback archery trial from the neighborhood association.

Muku: Since he has four tickets, including Citron-sama, Director-san and I will be joining…

Citron: The last ticket belongs to you, Tasuku!

Tasuku: Well, I don't mind. I don't have plans on that day, anyway. You'll be going too, right, Director?

Izumi: Looks like it…

Citron: In that case, the four of us will be going! I'm looking forward to it!

Citron: It's finally the day of the horseback archery trial! I'm so exited!

Muku: Me too!

Tasuku: I've already checked in at the reception. Go change your clothes at the building over there and gather here again.

Izumi: Women's dressing room is over there so let's meet up here again once we're done changing!

Tasuku: Okay.

Izumi: Wow! You all look good in that attire!

Tasuku: Do you think so? Well, that's great to hear…

The person in charge seemed to be having a hard time putting these clothes on me.

Izumi: You're tall, after all, Tasuku-san.

Citron: Oh, horseback archery attire is so cool! This is so exciting!

Muku: You also look great in that attire, Director!

Izumi: Thanks. I'm a lil bit nervous since I'm not really used to wearing traditional clothes.

Muku: Because Tasuku-san wore traditional clothes several times for plays before, you're somehow giving off this dignified vibes in that!

Citron: You look really, really confident!

Tasuku: Thanks. This time I'm wearing a Hakama, though. It's different from the ones I wore in "Die by the Sword" and "Hotel Compass".

It's a little bit hard to move around in this, but it's not like I can do something about it.

Person in charge: Everyone, we are going to start the trial now so please gather here.

Teacher: We are going to start with a horseback riding lesson. Get used to the horse you're riding today while trekking.

Izumi: Put your left foot here…okay.

Muku: What a calm and good kid. There, there.

Citron: I want to run fast! It reminds me of the long ride I took with Pochi back home!

Tasuku: You have a great posture, Citron. It makes sense since you're used to riding a horse.

Muku: The same goes for you, Tasuku-san! You look like a real samurai.

Izumi: I couldn't agree more. It's more impactful since you're wearing traditional attire now.

Teacher: Everyone in this group is talented. Are you all already used to riding horses?

Especially you. That's very impressive of you to sit up straight like that.

Tasuku: Are you referring to me?

Citron: Look at you, Tasuku! The teacher is praising you.

Muku: That's to be expected. Tasuku-san's posture is already good from the start. I think it also has something to do with your strong muscles.

Tasuku: I guess my years of experience on the stage has influenced me in some way. It has become a habit to straighten myself up.

Person in charge: Next, we're going to practice shooting a bow on the ground. This session will be split in two parts with lunch break in between.

Izumi: Whoa…! I never knew bows are quite heavy…!

Tasuku: It's pretty big in size, too. It's taller than me.

Muku: I heard Japanese-style bow is larger than the western-style one, and it can make your arrows fly farther.

Citron: It'll be hard to shoot while riding a horse!

Tasuku: Oh. I hit it.

Izumi: No way. You already hit the mark!?

Tasuku: You can say it's luck, I guess.

Citron: That's still great, though!

Muku: You're so talented, Tasuku-san! I have to do my best too!

Citron: Me too! I won't lose to you~.

Izumi: (Hehe. They seem to be having fun. I have to do my best to hit the mark as well!)

Tasuku: It's finally time. I hope we can do well, just like how we did during practice.

Citron: Tasuku, you also got praised for your archery skill, right!

Muku: While we didn't actually ride the horse during practice, you were still impressive for being able to hit the mark most of the time!

Izumi: Not only hitting the target, but quickly fitting the arrow to the bow is also difficult.

Teacher: We are going to move on to the actual horseback archery now. Try to aim for the mark over there. No need to rush.

Tasuku: No need to rush… Like this?

*shoots*

Muku: Y-You hit it!

*shoots*

Izumi: You hit it again!

Citron: Oh, would you look at that! He hit the center spots!

Teacher: It's so rare for participants to be able to do that. I don't usually let beginners do this, but… can you try running?

Tasuku: Is it really okay?

Teacher: Yes. I have a feeling you can do it.

Tasuku: I'll give it a try, then.

Muku: Whoa…! Running through with a horse while shooting an arrow… It feels like we're in a real battle!

Citron: This is true horseback archery!

Izumi: Do your best, Tasuku-san!

Tasuku: Thanks.

*shoots*

Teacher: It's a hit! Well done!

Participant A: Who is that man? He's so amazing!

Participant B: He's so good!

Participant C: So hot…!

Tasuku: ...phew.

Izumi: Great job, Tasuku-san!

CHOICE 1: That was flawless

Izumi: You hit the mark flawlessly despite running so fast like that.

Tasuku: It's actually quite the opposite. I did worse than I expected.

I could have run faster, and I could have done a better job at fixing the arrow to the bow.

Izumi: Really!? It was perfect in my eyes.

Tasuku: For me, I can't say I have shown the result of my practice enough.

Izumi: (He's really stoic…!)

CHOICE 2: It was as if I traveled back to the past.

Izumi: Seeing you shooting a bow in that attire made me feel like I traveled back to the past.

Tasuku: In that case, I might have done a better job at that if we were doing an etude set in Kamakura.

Like, let's say, while I'm on the run after kidnapping you, the daughter of the Lord… I will shoot my bow at the pursuers.

Izumi: That's a great plot!

Tasuku: ...On second thought, seeing you in that getup, I think it's more fitting to have you as a tomboy princess who ran away with me.

Izumi: A tomboy princess… But I'll go all out if it's for etude!

Tasuku: Haha. How reliable of you.

Muku: You were totally impressive, Tasuku-san!

Citron: I made the right choice inviting you here!

Tasuku: I had fun joining this trial as well. Thank you.

Muku: Today was so fun!

Tasuku: I would never try doing horseback archery if I didn't have an opportunity like this. I learned a lot.

Citron: I should offer my gratitude to the neighborhood association after this!

Izumi: Have you seen the photo we took in this attire? It came out great. See?

Muku: You're right! I want to show it to the others in the dorm.

Tasuku: Then, let's get go--.

Teacher: Hey, wait up!

Tasuku: Yes?

Teacher: Thank goodness. You're still here. I actually have a request for you.

Tasuku: What is it?

Teacher: Do you… want to try aiming for the top in horseback archery!?

Troupe Members: Come again!?

Teacher: I'm sure you can be Japan's top horseback archery athlete! Please join my team.

Tasuku: I don't think I can do that. I'm an actor.

Teacher: In that case, can you at least join the next tournament…!?

Tasuku: Even if you say that…

Teacher: Oh, right! There's an annual event called "Horseback Archery Festival".

If it's alright with you, can you take part as a guest at that event?

Tasuku: Well, I don't mind appearing as a guest…

Teacher: Thank you so much! I'm looking forward to your appearance.

Izumi: (Being invited as a guest despite being an amateur… Tasuku-san, you're way too awesome…)

#a3!#a3! translation #spring troupe #summer troupe #autumn troupe #winter troupe #itaru chigasaki #citron #muku sakisaka #banri settsu #tasuku takato

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missmentelle · 3 years

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Hi MM/Bee! I'm a recent college graduate. I always worked hard in school and I matured a lot at college, but I'm realizing how low my self-esteem is. I'm obsessing over the things I haven't done/accomplished, scholarships I never applied for, my body image, my high school days, "not being as successful as my high school class", an old crush who I never talked to (who is already super successful), and some days I feel like I messed up my life beyond repair. How do I work on self-love? Thank you!

For starters, I think it’s important for you to know that you aren’t the only person feeling this way. I get similar questions all the time, often from people who aren’t even out of their 20s yet. It isn’t even remotely true that you need to achieve wild success by age 25 or you’ve wasted your life, but I can understand why so many people feel that way.

Our culture is dangerously obsessed with productivity, youth and achievement, to the point that it is actively making all of our lives miserable. It’s not hard to understand where people get this idea that they’re failing in life if they aren’t a 20-something well-travelled millionaire - that is the message our culture throws in our faces all the time - and it’s so unbelievably untrue. We compile “top 30 under 30″ lists, celebrate incredibly young performers and entertainers, and hold up extremely high-achieving lifestyles as something that every one of us needs to be striving for, but we don’t - there is no timeline for “success”, there is no one true definition of success, and people will take wildly different paths in life to arrive at the same set of goals. What you think of as your failure is not actually your failure - it’s a cultural failure that so many of us fall victim to.

I think it’s also important to remember that you haven’t messed up your life beyond repair: you’ve barely started your life yet. Your college years are supposed to be a time of growing and maturing, and that maturation doesn’t end the moment you cross the stage - you’re going to continue to learn and change and grow throughout your lifespan. And growth means you are always going to mess some stuff up - that’s how we grow. All of us have to make mistakes in this life, and all of us have to prioritize rest sometimes; there are always going to be tests we don’t do so great on, social situations we flub, scholarships we don’t apply for, crushes we don’t confess to, deadlines we miss, relationships we let fall apart and goals we don’t achieve. Nobody speedruns life with 100% completion. And that’s okay. Those missteps and mistakes are what teach us to do better next time, or they give us the time to rest and gather energy for the next goal we want to work toward.

Of course, learning to accept yourself and let go of cultural conditioning is easier said than done. For many of us, it’s a lifelong journey, if not the overarching theme of our lives. I wish there was a simple way to achieve it. I do, however, have some tips that can help you get there:

Unplug from productivity and self-improvement culture. Going online and seeing “Shakespeare wrote King Lear in quarantine, here’s how to maximize your quarantine time” and “here’s how I became a millionaire by age 22″ is not actually that motivating - in all likelihood, it’ll just make you feel bad about yourself. The internet is an absolute firehose of content about how you can do more, achieve more, squeeze more out of your day, and it’s completely overwhelming; honestly, most of us feel better when we stop pointing that firehose straight at our own face. It’s easier to believe that you are enough when you stop consuming content that tells you that you aren’t. Self-improvement culture looks positive on the surface, but we aren’t actually making ourselves better people by obsessing over our work and productivity - we’re just making ourselves miserable.

Ask yourself “who benefits from making me feel bad about myself?” It’s not a coincidence that we’ve built a culture obsessed with youth and productivity - that culture is making a lot of people very, very rich. Whenever you can be convinced that you aren’t thin enough, not pretty enough, not good enough, you can be convinced to run out and buy things that might fix the problem. That’s how we ended up with a $10 billion dollar self-improvement industry and a $532 billion dollar beauty industry. Content people are harder to sell to. Of course, knowing that people are profiting off your insecurities doesn’t magically make the insecurities go away - but it’s important to start thinking critically and asking yourself “where do my insecurities come from? Is there really something wrong with me, or is someone profiting from making people like me feel this way?”

Do things that make you happy, just for the sake of doing them. Paint a picture. Plant a garden. Learn to play the mandolin. Read cheesy romance novels. Find some things that you enjoy doing just for you - things that you don’t need to maximize, monetize or optimize. You don’t even need to be good at them. If you enjoy doing it, have at it. So many of us are encouraged to suck the joy out of our hobbies by turning them into a “side hustle” or another regimented form of self-improvement. Find some activities that just make your life better and do them, just for the sake of doing them.

Examine the role of social media in your life. Most of us don’t post a complete, unedited view of our lives on social media - we just post the highlights and keep the tough stuff - the rejections, the times we got ghosted, the bad hair days - to ourselves. And even if you know that cognitively, it still sucks to log onto social media when you’re having a “blah” week and find yourself bombarded with other people’s engagement announcements, med school acceptances, wedding pictures and photos of the new homes people just bought. Social media forces you to compare your “average” to everyone else’s “best”, all the time. And the numbers don’t help - social media lets you do an exact comparison of how many followers and likes you have compared to someone else, and seeing someone get more positive feedback than you can sting. Working on self-love means taking a hard look at the impact social media is having on your self-esteem. How much of your time do you spend on social media? How do you feel after you use social media? Are you following accounts that make you feel better about yourself, or worse? Do you ever feel bad about the number of likes or followers you have? Do you feel like your time on social media is wasted? Do you follow accounts that make you feel better about yourself, or worse? Stepping away from social media for your mental health is an important move for some people - you can still be happy for your friends and loved ones while acknowledging that it’s not good for you to have their achievements broadcast to you 24/7.

Surround yourself with good, supportive people. If you find that your circle of friends tends to diminish each other’s achievements, be overly critical of each other or go out of their way to one-up each other, that’s probably not a circle of friends that’s going to be good for you in the long run. Find people who are genuinely happy for you, and make you feel supported and loved for who you are. If that means you need to branch out of your current social circles, that’s okay - you can find great friends in surprising places, and it’s worth the initial awkwardness of getting to know a new person.

Challenge your definition of “success”. Success does not have to look like a high-paying job and a giant house and expensive cars and 2.5 honour roll children. It certainly can look that way, if you feel that those are meaningful goals for you, but it doesn’t have to look that way. A doctor is not necessarily “more successful” than a poet, and a lawyer is not necessarily “more successful” than a stay-at-home parent. The only person who gets to define what a “successful” life looks like is you. It takes time to unlearn the social conditioning that “money and prestige = success”, but it can be done. Success looks different for all of us.

Set goals that are personally meaningful to you. It’s important for all of us to think critically about what we want, and it’s even more important to think critically about why we want it. Do we want that degree program or that accomplishment or that job because it aligns with our interests? To impress others? To prove someone wrong? Or because we feel like we’re supposed to want it? Try to focus your energy on the goals that you want, that are personally meaningful to you. If that’s law school, great. If that’s selling homemade jam at the farmer’s market, that is equally great.

Remember that success does not have a deadline. I know this is very hard to believe in your early twenties, but your dreams do not shrivel up and blow away the day you turn 30. Life doesn’t end when your 20s are over. You haven’t missed your shot, and you don’t have to figure everything out right now. Growth and achievement are lifelong journeys - people find their dream jobs, accomplish their goals, finish degrees and meet the love of their life in their 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond. The best book I read this year was “Where the Crawdads Sing” a novel that spent 32 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list. It also happened to be the author’s first novel, and it came out when she was sixty-nine years old. Your dreams do not have an expiration date.

Capture the joy and positivity in your life. I think one of the most important ways to feel better about your life is to spend more time focusing on all the good things in your life, rather than focusing on all the ways you could be better. Rather than fixating on whether you could have applied for more scholarships or turned that B+ into an A-, spend more time reflecting on the happy memories you have of your time in college. Again, this isn’t something that will happen overnight - it’s a learned skill that you need to consciously work on. Interrupt yourself when you are starting to fixate on things you could have done better, and make yourself list out three things you enjoyed about college. Connect with old college friends you haven’t heard from in a while. Try to take more notice of good things in your life as they happen to you - take more pictures, keep a journal, make collages, start a scrapbook, keep a box of momentos. You don’t need to have a perfect life to be happy; it’s okay to work on being happy with the life you have.

Best of luck to you! MM

#Anonymous #AnsweredByMM #askmissmentelle

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escapewriter · 3 years

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part 36 - the festival

REDAMANCY

pairing : dancer!??? x art student!reader

word count : 1.2k

a/n : my wifi got cut out so i had to type this in my notes so i apologize if there are any typos

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You and Jeonghan sat by a bench at the festival. It seemed like more of a carnival than a fundraiser festival thing due to all the game booths and rides. You leaned on Jeonghan's shoulder, taking a deep breath to mentally prepare yourself for what you’re about to do later.

“I know you don’t want me to ask about it, but can you tell me how you’re going to do it?” You felt him tense up a bit before relaxing as he saw you nod your head.

“It’s nothing special in my opinion. After the performance I'm just gonna talk to the both of them.” You heard Jeonghan hum, listening to what you were saying as he watched people pass by or win stuffed animals from some games.

“Piece of advice, YN. don’t do what Nari did.”

“No shit, I'm not using them.”

“No no, I meant like don't confess to one and let the other walk away sad, because this time around, no one is gonna be there to say ‘if it makes you feel better’ ya know?”

“Well Wonwoo could.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

You and Jeonghan sat at the top of the bleachers in hopes of getting away from the growing crowd.

“Han, we won't be able to see them.”

“No we won’t but they will, I told them where we’re sitting.”

You opened your mouth in a silent ‘ah’ before scanning the people around. Your nerves began to build up a bit as you hate being in a crowded area.

Jeonghan saw you begin to panic, so he rested his hand on top of yours, rubbing the back of it to calm you down. It helped a bit, but not enough so you tried to start a conversation, “Where are your friends?”

“What do you mean my friends? You and the gang is what I got.”

You laughed softly, but heart feeling warm hearing him say that, “No I meant the other two. Joshua and Seungcheol.”

“Ohh, uhh, you sure you wanna know where they are?”

“Honestly, I don't really care because I’m just trying to calm myself down.” He giggled a bit and intertwined your hands together, knowing well you hated this stuff but only let him do it.

“Okay well, Joshua is mentally preparing Minghao and Seungcheol is mentally preparing Jun. BUT IT'S OKAY, because they will be okay with any decision you make.” Jeonghan forced a smile to make you feel reassured to which you smiled back softly for his efforts.

“Okay enough about that, let's just wait until the show starts.”

“How many god damn people are performing?”

You laughed at Jeonghan’s impatience, “Relax, there’s only been 3 performances. One being a little skit from the theater club.”

“Yeah but I didn't need to see them reenact something that I've seen on Victorious. The abc play is so rehearsed, yall aren’t special.”

Rolling your eyes, you watched the stage crew remove the decorations and add in new props. The sun was setting by now so when the lights dimmed for the next performance, you could see the stage much better. Except you didn’t want to see the stage better the second you heard the booming voice of your best friend and the words ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, they call us Boo-Seok-Soon!’

You heard Jeonghan gasp and laugh when you saw their faces on the screen, your hand immediately coming up to cover your mouth in shock.

“Did you know Seungkwan could perform like that, YN?”

You scoffed, “I barely pay attention to his art skills, let alone to how he performs, but this was technically his first time performing, so I’d give him a solid 10 out of 10.”

“It was the voice crack wasn’t it?”

“He would’ve gotten an 8 if it wasn’t for that one thing.”

It was dark out by now, the sun was gone and the air was colder than before. You shivered, scooting closer towards Jeonghan to try and gain some of his body heat. “When do you think they’re gonna perform?”

“Probably right now,” on cue, the lights dimmed. Patiently waiting, yet having that tense feeling in your muscles, a soft beat began to play as you watched the performance of the dance team, your eyes watching every move of all the dancers.

“Damn, Chan and Vernon are really good.” You smiled and nodded your head in agreement, “I could never do that- holy shit did Minghao just- what the fuck was that?”

“He’s good at martial arts, same with Jun so I’m not surprised that at least one of them did something.” You saw Nari at the back, her eyes looking uninterested but still putting effort into it. “I have to admit, Nari is good.”

“A squirrel could dance better than that bitch YN, don’t give her any credit.”

“I don’t understand how you’re more salty than I am.”

“Seungkwan! That was a good performance!”

You and Jeonghan approached the said man backstage, handing him a bottle of water and giving him a side hug. “Thank’s Jeonghan. I’m really happy you both are here and so is Chan and Vernon.”

“Yeah, you guys are ridiculously good.” You saw Chan and Vernon appear from the corner of your eye and gave them a hug, handing them water bottles as well.

“So that means, you and Jeonghan regret not coming to our past shows?”

“No, I liked hanging out with YN more.” You laughed softly, but got distracted after making eye contact with the two men that you were planning to talk to.

Thinking that now was the best time, you excused yourself and followed the two into a room. You knocked softly, the door opening quickly and seeing Minghao there. He gave you a smile and stepped to the side so you have space to walk in. You saw Jun sitting on the couch as Minghao took his place next to him.

You sat in a chair across from them and took a deep breath.

“Hi.” They smiled, not responding and gave you time to gather your thoughts. You were so thankful towards both of them, you don’t know how you could do this.

“I’m sorry I took, uh, so long. I just needed time to think and to make sure that I was making the right choice.” You looked up and saw the two of them staring at you, both silently encouraging you to continue, “Thank you for being patient with me. I know I haven’t been fair when I just disappeared like that. But, just- thank you both.”

Your eyes didn’t know where to look. You didn’t want one of them to feel left out so you kept switching, and you also didn’t want to be the only one talking. “One of you, please. Please just say something.”

They took a look at each other before Jun sat up straight, inhaling, “YN, all we both want is for you to make a choice that will make you happy. Minghao and I, we learned that it’s not about competition and that we have to go through a heartbreak in order to move on or find the person that we’re meant to be with.” He looked at Minghao, signaling for him to continue.

“Yeah, all we want is for you to be happy. And with any decision you make here, we will be supportive of you or the other person.” They gave you a reassuring smile in which you returned.

“Okay. Well then, here goes nothing.”

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#seventeen #seventeen sm au #seventeen social media au #seungcheol #jeonghan #joshua #junhui #soonyoung #wonwoo #jihoon #minghao #mingyu #seokmin #seungkwan #vernon #lee chan #svt #REDAMANCY AU

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ceasarslegion · 3 years

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Is there a system to lucid dreaming? Like, how would one go about practicing lucid dreaming? (i'm imagining not getting stuck in a cyclical hell of stress dreams every time my irl life gets busy, but also it would just be super cool to lucid dream at will)

Heyo, if you sent this earlier today, I haven't been online all day so sorry about that

There's a few steps you have to go through before you can start to lucid dream at will, because we aren't originally wired to be able to control our dreams. We can, it's just not a skill we ever learn growing up, because there's no real use for it in modern society. So if you try to jump right into deep end, you probably won't get very far.

The first is to make it a priority for your subconscious to remember and store away your regular dreams in your long-term memory. For most people, keeping a journal on their bedside table works really well, where you just make it a habit to log what you can remember every morning when you wake up, even if it's just "I don't remember anything." If you put thought into action, your brain starts to view remembering your dreams as a priority, and over time, you'll start getting much clearer and more vivid imagery when you sleep, although it most likely won't be lucid yet.

Once you've gotten to the point where you remember your dreams after you wake up long enough to log them, and remembering your dreams is pretty consistent, you can go into the next step, which is making indicator actions a habit. It's pretty easy, and doesn't sisrupt your waking life at all, but they will alert you very quickly if you're dreaming. The way they work is that reality is very consistent is mundane sounds and actions, while your brain isn't very good at filling in those little details in your dreams. For example, if you listen to people around you talking IRL, they'll be talking in structured sentences that make realistic sense, while in a dream, your brain knows that the filler characters its constructed for you would be talking, but it doesn't know what to make them say, so it'll come out as either gibberish or a completely meaningless word soup of your native language. Same thing with clocks: it knows that clocks tell time, but doesn't know what time to make it tell in your dreams, so it'll go from like 3:15 to 9:30 in the time it would take you to blink.

So, at this stage, start making a habit of doing indicator actions to see if you're dreaming or in real life. Things like snapping your fingers by your ears to check if it actually makes a finger-snapping sound, listening to people talk to check if its in structured sentences, and checking clocks twice when you check the time to double check that the numbers are still the same. If you do it IRL enough, you'll also transfer that behavior into your dreams, and it will probably take you by surprise when you snap your fingers one day and it sounds like a gunshot for some reason.

Now you can remember your dreams, and you can recognize when you're dreaming. Once you're at this point, you can start taking the reins and truly lucid dreaming. It takes a bit of experimentation, and I can't really explain how to do that, because it works differently for everyone, but when I realize that I'm dreaming, I can usually take total control by simply visualizing what I want to experience through my imagination, and it appears in front of me because I'm in my own head already. From there, you can do whatever you want, which is where the fun comes in.

General word of warning, though: because lucid dreaming is so vivid and feels real, it does increase your chances of experiencing sleep paralysis, because your brain can have a hard time switching between dream and reality when they feel similar. If you don't experience it now, it's still unlikely you will, but it would be irresponsible not to tell you, nonetheless

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