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scretladyspider · 5 months

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please don’t scroll; I really need your help to reach my gofundme goal of $3500 and not become homeless.

Im Elle, a queer, ace, disabled person with ADHD, depression, and two cats. In November, I lost my job without warning. I have no savings as the job already had me living to the last dollar of every paycheck. I was denied unemployment and food stamps. I cannot work away from home, a physical job, or something with strict hours due to some yet-to-be-diagnosed illness.

this is my story — what’s going on & how I got here. (Smaller text used because it’s a lot of information/a long post.)

In early 2018, I was doing regular walk/runs. In 2019, I stopped being able to run, so I went on walks. Running took hours, then days, to recover from. My body couldn’t produce energy to do it consistently, so, walks. In 2020, I kept going on walks and tried to do aerobics. I was not able to keep doing aerobics. My body took hours upon hours to recover, where before it hadn’t, I was alone for almost all of 2020, and never developed COVID symptoms; it was what happened with running all over again. In 2021, it started to take more time to recover from walks. Then I started to need to take a nap immediately after I clocked out from work— and it was a work from home job. In 2022, I began to go from my sitting desk job straight to my bed most days, laying down exhausted right after work, even sleeping through lunch to get some rest.

On New Year's Eve 2023, I spent 30 minutes cleaning, including vacuuming my living room. I had to rest the rest of the day.

In the last five years, I've gone from running to being exhausted for hours by taking my garbage to the curb.

Imagine you were someone who enjoyed recreational exercise. Now imagine doing 1/100th of that and feeling sick for days. Thats me.

There are other symptoms also. More vulnerability to infection and more trouble fighting infection. Shooting, sharp muscle pains in large muscles such as the thigh or forearm, like a pinched nerve, that come and go at random. Pulse rate that skyrockets upon standing, to go back to normal soon after. Stomach inflammation. Inflammation without major swelling. Headaches. Complete inability to tolerate heat, leading to excruciating migraines that only go away with things like cold showers, electrolytes, and hours of rest in the dark with ice. Muscles that literally don't feel like they're getting oxygen. Random rashes. Face flushing. Being much more easily out of breath, yawning over and over, like I can't get air correctly. Weight gain, no matter what I eat or don't eat.

And just being so, so tired.

In summer of 2018, something… stopped working in my body. I felt sick all the time. I had a low, unexplainable fever nearly every day. Shooting nerve pain would wake me up at night. The doctor said I had a cold. But months went by and I didn’t get better. When my blood work and thyroid hormone level was normal, I was referred to a rheumatologist.

I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia after he made me wait 45 minutes, came in and asked “are you tired?", poked me hard, said I was tender, and left without running tests. This sort of “uhm the standard blood work came back normal, have you tried exercising more? I know you’re here because your body can’t recover from it but have you tried more of that? Also going to sleep at night?” has been the response over and over and over for five years. It got to the point where I even started to wonder if I was somehow making it up. I see a psych nurse. She thinks there's more than just depression, ADHD, and other things - though we both agree that managing those is vital too. She used to be a cardiologist, so this is reassuring. But when I have tried to see other doctors, it goes differently. Most of the time they see I have ADHD, a long history of depression, and hypermobile joints, and say that explains everything. I can't count how many times I've been told "well, you have depression” when the labs, if they even agreed to run them, came back normal. My standard blood work sometimes comes back with anemia, but I take an iron supplement. No improvement had come of it. I’ve had my thyroid hormone levels tested over and over, but never the antibodies. No imaging or referrals have happened, outside of one to a second rheumatologist. He ran no tests either; he just saw my joints are hypermobile and I was “sure taking a lot of mental health medications” (two at the time), and… that was that.

I had given up on actually even getting help until my SIL recommended a doctor she knew. For the first time in five years, when the standard blood work and TSH tests were normal, she told me we would keep looking. I actually cried with relief at that. It’s amazing to be believed after all this time.

Because of …. All of this, I'm trying to figure out how to either work for myself or find a work from home job that has flexible hours I can choose. I literally wouldn't be able to work a retail gig where I have to stand for eight hours, or even a 9-5 where I have to be there for those exact hours, because my body cannot do that right now. I want to get better but it's a long way off. First I need to know what's even wrong. I'm praying for a diagnosis soon. And treatment. At the least, management.

I have heard of EDS and I have been evaluated. I apparently don’t meet enough criteria, hence the diagnosis of JHS instead. It’s in the same family. I have also heard of POTS. I am pursuing testing. Same with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, MCAS, fibromyalgia… yeah. The thing is nothing outside of the standard blood count and thyroid hormone level test, no other lab tests have been done. There are so many things this could be that have never been checked. Lyme disease, for example, is extremely common where I live (it’s actually just extremely common worldwide) and matches much of my experience, but 1) in the USA the initial Lyme test relies on a strain of bacteria cultured in the 80s 2) there are over 100 strains of Lyme disease in the USA 3) in spite of decades of research there are doctors who don’t believe chronic Lyme exists 4) no doctor has ever checked and I only recently learned anything about it so I never asked. But… there are a lot of things to check that I’ve never had checked is my point. Fingers crossed someone can help me get there.

I do not have a partner who can try to support me through this, and my family already supports me however they can. My severance (which was low as I found out I was being paid much less than the rest of the team later) paid only my January rent.

Since my ability to work is severely limited right now, and I've been denied unemployment and food stamps, and I would need a diagnosis and to be awarded disability benefits in court (which can take YEARS that I don’t have), I have nothing in savings because of years of underpaying jobs the cost of living and being disabled and going through prior periods of unemployment due to this and other factors, I am left in a tough spot without help. Without this help, this gofundme... I have nothing.

So... here I am. A queer nonbinary disabled neurodivergent writer, trying my best, living with some undiagnosed illness that's severely impacted my ability to function, who got fired without real reasons (in America they can just do that to you without even telling you why), asking for your help to pay my February rent and January bills so I don’t repeat the trauma of being homeless. Or for you to reblog this.

Thank you for reading all of this.

It’s been on my chest for a long time. Even if it wasn’t for the gofundme, it feels good to talk about and be honest about my health. It reminds me you’re not supposed to feel like this all the time when I tell other people and they tell me I should get help and deserve answers. It’s reassuring to see competent doctors who finally believe me. I hope we figure it out.

no donation is too small— they add up. If just 100 people gave $35, the goal would be met. Sharing is also giving— it means someone who can help is more likely to see it.

You can also help via my venmo — secretladyspider

CashApp — secretladyspider

or find PayPal in my tip jar in my linktree

Goal is $3500 or over. Funds needed ASAP. If it goes over, that’ll help with February.

Thank you for anything and everything.

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malusokay · 2 years

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Little things to brighten your mood

Ever since January, my life has constantly been improving, and I've learned a lot, so here are a few things that I do that make me feel better! <3

Make your bed. Decluttering my space always helps me feel better.

Morning stretching. Any exercise is good for you, so you can also try something like pilates or yoga!

Do your skincare. If my face feels dirty or oily, I'm instantly in a horrible mood hahah.

Eating breakfast. I used to be a breakfast hater until I had my rhinoplasty and had to take meds in the morning (don't take meds on an empty stomach!!); since I've gotten used to eating early, I have a lot more energy throughout the day!

Write down things you look forward to. Some of my things are Moving back to Spain, my Brandy Melville order, and Halloween :)

Ignore negative things. Don't read depressing Tumblr posts, don't talk to people that make you feel bad, and so on.

Plan your day. Planning helps me to stay organized, which helps me manage my stress.

Set yourself small and achievable goals. Such as cleaning out your fridge, finishing an assignment, going for a walk, or reaching a step goal!

Go outside. I have a really large dog and go on daily looong walks; going on walks is not a chore it's me-time! :)

Listen to music. I love listening to Lofi to calm down.

Watch your favorite movie. You can also watch ALL barbie movies.

Drinking more Tea. Drinking tea helps me a lot with my water intake since water alone gets boring. My favorite tea brand is Pukka (the mint tea!!)

No Phone. Turning off your phone will probably make you feel better if you're feeling down. Be present.

Cook for yourself. My current comfort meal is carrot cake oatmeal!

Candles. I have always loved candles; I like lighting them in my kitchen on gloomy mornings while making breakfast or in the evening when writing my blog posts!

Call a friend. Talk to someone you love and trust; maybe you can even make some plans with them. :)

Take time for yourself. Self-care is so essential. Do your nails, take a bath, read a book or take a nap.

Compliment yourself. Don't be so harsh on yourself; complement the things you like about yourself. You are allowed to feel beautiful!

As always, please feel free to add more suggestions in the comments! <3

✩‧₊*:・love ya ･:*₊‧✩

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strawb3rrystar · 17 days

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A yandere! ROTTMNT request

TW: panic attack, pessimistic views, mention of SH

I’ve been looking for a fic or just a small short story abt the reader being completely not okay. Like they’re panic attack prone, they think that there’s no way out of their situation so they’re just sad and quiet most of the time, and they have self destructive tendencies. It’s a bit morbid, and feel free to ignore, but I’m allergic to happiness, and I really like your writing, so even if uts just once sentence, I’d be happy.

Kill me on the train tracks.

Pairing: Your favorite turtle x GN! Reader

Warnings: Panic attacks, reader having clear mental problems, implied depression, reader eventually likes being a shut-in

Word count: 539

✰Masterlist

✰ Life seemed terrible now. You didn't know where you were or how you got here.

✰ What you did know was that you were heading to grab snacks from the connivance store before everything went black.

✰ When you awoke, you appeared to be in a remodeled train car. It had a bed, a couch, TV, and even a small bathroom.

✰ For a split second, you thought it looked cool. But then the realization set in and you started to have a panic attack.

✰ The smallness of the train car didn't help as you felt the walls closing in on you.

✰ You instinctively rushed for the door. But try with all your might to pry it open, it was locked.

✰ A million questions ran through your head as your heart pounded in your chest, threatening to leap out.

✰ How could you escape? Was there an escape? Who kidnapped you? And what did they plan on doing to you?

✰ Well, you weren't spent wondering that third question long, as the door to the train car slide open. There in the door frame stood a giant turtle.

✰ Seeing it freaked you out. So you screamed and backed yourself into a corner.

✰ The turtle spoke to you in a gentle tone as they reassured that they weren't going to hurt you.

✰ In fact, they insisted that they loved you. And that they had to do this to keep you safe.

✰ They told you this fact a lot. Eventually, you got used to your small living quarters.

✰ It was well kept by your captor and looked nice. Your situation could've been worse obviously.

✰ You were physically comfortable. Nice clothes and well fed.

✰ But you were a wreak mentally. The frequency of your panic attacks heightened. You often woke up screaming from nightmares.

✰ You felt far more depressed, unable to get out of bed most days. Your captor tried to keep you happy, but they didn't want you leaving the train car.

✰ So you got familiar with those four walls. It's not like you could escape anyways.

✰ When your captor tried to make small talk with you, you stayed quiet. It felt like any sense of language left your brain. Sometimes, you wouldn't even be able to understand them.

✰ You just let them hold you and cuddle most of the times. They would snuggle into you and fall asleep for a nap, while you stare blankly at the wall.

✰ When your captor wasn't around, you would hear them with their family. Laughter and loud conversations bouncing off of the sewer walls.

✰ It made you long for the outside. To just talk to a human again.

✰ Sure, you had plenty of opportunities to escape. Many times when your captor left the train door unlocked.

✰ But what was the point? Your life was just as shitty as it was before.

✰ At least now you didn't have to worry about the stress of a job. Or being unhoused. Or even the anxiety of a conversation. You could just exist in your own little bubble. And share it with a giant mutant turtle. But whose counting that?

Star's notes -> This is definitely one of the more morbid fics I've written recently. But that's okay, I like writing dark things sometimes!

(Thank you, sweet anon, for requesting!) (Requests are open!)

Taglist -> @raphaelsqueen @mamaemoemu @sleebykei @looking4userthatworks @toast-on-dandelioms

@alexandria-fandom @ghostdoodlen @roboticsuccubus83 @sweetadonisbutbetter @little-miss-chaoss

@sunr1s3-strab3rr1 @blood-heart22 @facelessfionna | Join the taglist

#☆strawb3rrystar answers requests #yandere rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles x reader #teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtles x reader #rise of the tmnt x reader #rise of the tmnt #tmnt #yandere tmnt x reader #tmnt x reader

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greyskyflowers · 7 months

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I've had these little partial plot bunnies for a while and have added to them as I think of stuff. I'm going to go ahead and thrown them on here though because they aren't doing anyone any good sitting in my drafts. Maybe it will help inspire someone else.

A/B/O Dynamic ideas with Omega Zoro and background/hinted Poly/QP Strawhats ~

*** :examples, additional info, how it relates to the crew

🌱 :how it relates to Zoro

• Omega are lighter than alphas and betas, that doesn't mean weaker or smaller. They're simply lighter.

*** Ex: If a omega and beta/alpha of the similar strength and build both step in the same puddle of mud, the beta/alphas will sink down further.

🌱 The reason Zoro can push off of Luffy or Sanji without any problems.

• Omega run cooler as a protection against overheating during their heats.

*** Beta and alphas tend to run warmer to provide for omegas if needed.

🌱 The outfit post time skip Zoro wears is due to him running a little cooler.

• Heats are usually a miserable experience. The body hurts like getting the flu, body temp shots up, and other things like headaches, loss of appetite, fatigue, etc.

*** Alphas and betas instinctively know where to press/massage on omegas to help relieve pain. Sometimes, even able to tell things before even the omega knows. Ex: they may get food ready even if the omega doesn't feel particularly hungry, they may know where bruises will form, can tell when a heat is coming, etc.

🌱 Zoro already has chronic pain that flares up during his heats, so the whole thing is usually miserable.

• Omegas have sharp teeth but thinner than betas and alpha. Omega teeth are meant for killing strikes, for ripping at veins and throats. Beta and alpha teeth are broad and sharp, meant for crushing and snapping.

🌱 Zoro doesn't fight with his teeth like some omegas do but he shows them off when he uses three swords. The teeth looking extra menacing when digging into the hilt of sword.

• Omegas require a lot of sleep. It has to do with their hormones and sometimes can change depending on how healthy or unhealthy a omega is.

🌱 Zoro naps constantly

• Omegas also require a lot of food. The same hormones that require a significant amount of sleep also requires a significant amount of energy.

🌱 Zoro doesn't eat as much as Luffy but he's usually not too far off.

• Scent glands are very sensitive, once a pack bond has been established and pack marks have been given/recieved, only pack can touch the scent glands without causing pain.

It's a comfort to have them nipped at very carefully, stroked or sucked on. Sometimes packs will nipped a little harder or dig their nails into scent glands if they're mad at their omega.

The scent gland releases a type of oil that varies on consistency and taste for each omega. Once pack bonds have been established, alphas and betas will seek out the scent and taste. Often when they're anxious or concerned, for affection, etc.

*** Scars on scent glands can cause a lot of problems. Due to the type of tissue that makes up scent glands, damge to it will often scar in a way that traps the oil and can make the scent glands ache.

Oil that's been trapped must be manually released with firm pressure and heat. The oil will become infected if not released correctly or frequently enough. This becomes very painful and the risk of a blood poisoning is high.

The trapped oil will be thinner when freed, often with the consistency of water rather than oil. The smell will also be too strong, like breaking a full perfume bottle. When released it will be mixed with blood and infection, usually a pinkish color or with spots of blood.

*** Omegas cannot scent right if their glands are not taken care of. This causes anxiety and depression since omegas will not be able to scent a nest or pack, leaving them feeling isolated even if they're not.

Trapped oil will also itch. This is often strong enough that omegas will scratch at the gland until it bleeds.

🌱 Zoro is terrible at taking care of himself when it comes to injuries and this includes his scent glands. The pack takes it upon themselves to make sure the glands maintained. The ones in his wrists and necks are the ones scarred.

• Scent glands are located on the neck, wrists and inner thighs.

*** Packs will often touch, bites, rub, etc at scent glands for bonding. Even the inner thigh ones will be caressed, it's doesn't have to be sexual, it's just intimate.

🌱 Usually they go for Zoro's wrists or neck since those are easiest to get too, those are the ones scarred though, so extra care is required when paying attention to them. The ones on his inner thighs are extra sensitive, as common with omegas, and are only focused on once in a while.

• It's incredibly dishonorable to aim for a omegas scent glands. People still do it but it's not something anyone should brag about.

*** Scars on scent glands or over pack marks are insulting to the pack and the omega. It's also incredibly painful to have pack marks or scent glands hurt.

🌱 Zoro has scars on his glands and it's a sore topic for the pack.

• Packs are very intimate, so they can be both sexual and/or platonic. Omegas provide balance for betas and alphas. Their scents and bonds create a healthy and comforting environment

🌱 The crew is very happy and healthy.

• It's a sign of power and strength to have a healthy and happy omega. It indicates the pack isn't worried about most threats, so they're able to take the time and focus required to take care of their omega.

*** Omegas will not go into heat in unsafe areas, it's very painful to withhold heats but it can be done. The body will not allow the heat to happen if it senses danger or feels unsafe.

🌱 Zoro has withheld his heat before and it never goes well. With all the other issues he has, withheld heats are brutal.

• Omegas nest, of course, but they also burrow. A combination of pressure and the instinct to find protection promoting them to create a nest and then cover it.

Pack nests are often bigger, made for the pack to be able to comfortably be near their omega and each other. Larger nests also allow omegas to feel comfortable in the nest with pack but also large enough for them to have a space with enough extra supplies that they can borrow.

*** A room may be considered a nest, filled with nesting supplies and carefully arranged. One corner may have additional nesting supplies available for the omega to cover themselves with if needed, while the rest of the nest remains comfortable and moveable for the pack.

*** Similar to how people find comfort in the pressure of weighted blankets.

🌱 Franky built a nesting room big enough for all of them. It's absolutely filled with nesting supplies. The floor is covered in pillows and mattressss.

• Alphas and betas may experience a type of itching or tingling in their gums when around their pack omega. This is a reaction to the scent of pack and omega. It's just a form of desire or longing meant to keep packs close together. This will often be relieved by biting, scenting or mating.

🌱 Luffy bites a lot.

• Dynamics and the instincts related to them aren't felt by anything but humans. That doesn't mean that others are excluded from the pack or don't feel pack bonds. It just means those instincts are very muted. Everyone can mark and be marked by pack bond marks if they want.

*** Ex: Chopper and Jinbei are pack of the pack but don't have to same desires or instincts as the others. It's more of a family type thing for them.

Brook, however, is a different situation. Since he was human, and is now human bones, he does have those instincts. However, while they are stronger than Jinbei or Chopper's, they are not as strong as they were when he was human.

🌱 They might be a little bias but they all think Zoro is the best omega.

• Omegas bruise easier, however that doesn't mean they're necessarily hurt more than alphas or betas. Hits that would hurt but not bruise on betas and alphas will hurt and bruise on omegas. The additional visibility on hurt spots and injuries is meant to prompt packs into protectiveness and care.

*** Ex: If a omega and alpha/beta both run their hip into the same corner of a table, same speed and force, the omega will get a bruise but the alpha/beta won't. No additional pain was felt by the omega. It's simply a evolutionary feature to prompt protection and care.

🌱 Zoro is almost constantly bruised.

• Omegas will purr when hurt and when happy. Purring can be used to self soothe when injured or hurting, and sometimes happens without the omega even noticing. It's not something controllable, they can not start or stop either instance of purring.

*** Happy purrs will often stay at one consistent pitch while hurt purrs will go up and down in pitch

🌱 Zoro was purring at Thriller Bark when the crew got to him after Kuma, the nothing happened barely understandable with the rough and unsteady purr breaking up the words when he spoke.

He purred when they all met up again after the two year skip, everyone grinning at the consistent sound and the faintest hint of pink on the top of Zoro's cheeks.

#abo dynamics #one piece #zoro #luffy #mugiwara crew #straw hat pirates #strawhats #mugiwarapirates #once again trying to drag you all into poly and/or qp strawhats #zoro x everyone #let zoro bottom you cowards

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kkami-writes · 5 months

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hey guys!! long time no talk......here's a little life update!

so as you remember I got a job at the beginning of novemeber! while kinda stressful and hectic I really enjoyed working with the dogs and was happy even if i didn't have as much time for other things. December took a bit of a rough turn with seasonal depression and just feeling no motivation for really much of anything. For context for years I've never really had amazing birthdays, I've been disappointed, upset or just alone on my birthdays and I've long lost the excitement of my birthday. This year, I took a trip to Orange County/LA to visit family. We had planned on doing an escape room (something I've only done once but enjoyed but with my anxiety the thought of being locked in a room freaks me out). my cousins bf however booked a saw themed room. for those of you who don't know. I hate horror. ok, I digress. sometimes I can watch horror. but i mostly more enjoy horror video games but even then I do NOT play them for the most part. And if I do I usually have to take a break bc my anxiety spikes. In years I have gotten better at dealing with it, but in general horror movies specifically trigger me pretty badly. And prior to this, my anxiety had been out of control, constant anxiety and panic attacks that I didn't think I was even going to make it on my trip. So needless to say I was upset. Because I was looking forward to doing an escape room, I enjoy puzzles and thinking but that being said I would never ever do a horror themed escape room. I felt bad because I couldn't do it and they had already paid and it was about an hour before we had to leave. (thank god I asked what the theme of the room was before we got there). anyway, with all my emotions that I had been piling up in me, I just had a bad breakdown and cried. They all ended up going bc again, didn't want to waste money and I just wanted to be alone at that point anyway. Regardless, I still had a good time on the trip, "minor" bump aside. We went to little tokyo and I got to go to designer con for a bit. ALSO I love my cousins bf, he's a really nice guy. He did not know I don't do horror so it's not his fault. In his defense it was more supposed to be horror comedy / parody but I was already very highly anxious that even that would freak me out.

With my job, the original owners of the daycare had sold it, due to personal circumstances so we were getting a whole new owner. Except that a lot of us did not agree with things they were going to be adding or the way they interacted with the dogs. They have "nap time" which is literally just them crating all the dogs for almost 2 whole hours. Not all the dogs are crate trained and needless to say, did not enjoy it. When we tried it a few times it was just non stop barking for 2 hours. It was heartbreaking and sad. Literally everyone but two people have quit and decided they would not be working with these new people who clearly don't really care about the dogs. It's all about how to make the most money. The new owners don't even HAVE a dog. It's kinda crazy. So that being said...I have also decided to leave as I just don't feel comfortable there anymore. Which is heartbreaking because even though it's been two months, I've really bonded with these dogs and love them and it feels like I've left them to fend for themselves :/ anyway, I don't want to keep rambling on and on. but basically! i'm on the hunt for a new job and still struggling a bit with motivation and my mood, but i'm still hoping to return back to writing in january. I miss you guys a lot and have missed writing. I'm gonna answer all my asks soon. Thanks <3

#kaia talks #more like kaia rambles

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tessa-liam · 7 months

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Turning the Page

Against All Odds –5-

Choices, The Royal Romance, AU

Series Premise: As Riley Brooks journeys through life as a single parent in New York City, an epiphany strikes as she contemplates the future for herself and her two-year-old son.

Turning the Page Masterlist

Main Pairing: Liam Rys x F!MC Riley Brooks

All characters belong to Pixelberry, except William Brooks (Rys) and Matteo Magro, who belong to this series.

Category: On-going series, contains angst/fluff/depression.

Rating: M🔞Warnings - Series will contain crude language, NSFW material – not Beta’d - please excuse all errors.

Against All Odds – 5

Chapter Summary: Liam and Leo arrive in New York City. As Leo represents Cordonia and attends the U. N. conference, Liam, with the assistance of security intelligence, finds and reunites with Riley, uncovering her secret.

Music Inspiration: To Love Somebody, Beyries; More Than Words, Extreme

A/N1: In this alternate universe, after King Constantine orchestrates two individual scandals to humiliate and entrap Riley Brooks and Olivia Nevrakis in shame, Madeleine Amaranth secures her position as the Queen of Cordonia. Riley, as the King’s mistress and Olivia, in self-imposed exile. Tariq is never found.

A/N2: My submission for @choicesflashfics, Week#58, prompt #3 - “I just wanted to make sure you were ok.”

Brooklyn Heights, New York City

As the season's first snowflakes fell softly on the ground, Riley sat curled up on her couch, a soft blanket tucked around her legs, her laptop balanced on her knees. William, who had spent the afternoon playing with his toy train and building blocks, was now napping peacefully beside her.

Riley was lost in thought, the events of the past few days weighed heavily on her mind. She had read the news about Madeleine's pregnancy and had read the press statements on the internet. She was more than surprised by the announcement and curious about Liam's reaction to Madeleine’s revelations. Of all the questions she had, what bothered her most was the question of what would happen next. She couldn't imagine the stress Liam was under, but she also couldn't help but feel a sense of relief that the marriage was finally over.

Riley was drawn from her thoughts by the sound of her cell phone ringing. She reached over and picked it up, glancing at the caller ID. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw that it was Maxwell. She took a deep breath and answered the call. "Maxwell, hello!" she said, trying to sound casual.

"Riley! I am so glad I got a hold of you! Are you doing alright? “I just wanted to make sure you were ok.” Maxwell's voice was filled with concern. Riley could hear the background noise of the city through the phone, and she could picture him rushing down the busy streets of the Capital, his phone tucked between his ear and his shoulder. "Did you see the news? How are you holding up?"

"I'm okay, Maxwell. A little shocked, but okay." Riley paused, her mind racing. She wasn't sure how much she should reveal, but she knew that she could trust Maxwell. "To be honest, I've been thinking a lot about Liam and wondering how he's doing. Do you know if he is alright?"

Maxwell hesitated for a moment before responding. "I'm not sure, Riley. He was not taking questions after the press conference. When Drake and I tried to get his attention, he was called away by his advisors, but he did smile back at us. I think he'll be okay." He paused again, and Riley could tell that he was carefully choosing his words. "Look, Riley...I don't want to keep secrets from you, and there's something you should know."

Riley's heart started to race. "What is it, Maxwell?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"There's no easy way to say this, so I'm just going to be blunt. Liam is coming to New York, Riley. He's coming to find you."

Riley was speechless. Her mind was reeling, and her heart was pounding. She had so many questions, but all she could manage to say was, "He's coming here?"

"Yes, he's arriving tonight. Look, Riley, I know you're probably not ready to see him yet, and that is completely understandable. But I wanted you to hear it from me and not from someone else. And... I just want you to be prepared."

Riley's head was spinning, and she could feel tears starting to well up in her eyes. "Maxwell...I don't know what to say … are you sure about this?"

“Little blossom, yes,” Maxwell responded, somberly.

"You don't have to say anything, Riley. Just promise me that you'll give him a chance. He needs you now, more than you know.”

***

As the snow continued to fall, Riley sat quietly on the couch, staring out the window, lost in thought. Her heart was conflicted. On the one hand, she knew that Liam’s arrival would bring a torrent of emotions and feelings that she was not yet ready to face. But on the other hand, she could not deny that part of her was excited to see him again.

… and William! Riley’s swallowed hard; her hands trembling, as she felt him stir beside her.

The Four Seasons Hotel, Manhattan

Liam stared out of the floor to ceiling window of the penthouse suite, the lights of the Manhattan skyline spread out before him. He was filled with a mixture of anticipation and apprehension. He knew that finding Riley was the first step, but he had no idea how she would react to his arrival. He sighed and turned away from the window, walking over to the bar cart.

“Well, Li, how do I look?” Leo asked, walking out of his room, slipping gold cufflinks into his sleeves.

Liam chuckled and lifted a bottle of Macallen and poured the amber liquid into two crystal tumblers. “Very dapper, brother. I’m sure the ladies will love it.”

“Oh, please. Like I need help getting their attention.” Leo flashed a wicked grin, accepting a tumbler of scotch.

“Right. Just make sure you stay focused, Leo. I am counting on you to stand for and represent the crown.”

Leo raised an eyebrow. “I know, I know. You have nothing to worry about. I will handle the press and keep them off your back.”

Liam nodded, grateful for his brother’s support. “I appreciate it, Leo. What would I do without you.”

“You would be a royal mess, that’s for sure,” Leo quipped.

Just then, a knock at the door interrupted their conversation. Bastien opened the door, allowing for a stream of Liam’s royal guards into the suite.

“Your Majesty, we have a report that the American media has caught wind of your arrival and are converging on the hotel.”

“It’s showtime,” Leo said with a smirk, downing the last of his drink.

Clapping Liam’s shoulder, Leo left with two of the guards to attend the U.N. conference opening ceremonies. Liam had no doubt that his brother would be the center of attention and charm of the press and dignitaries. As Liam finished his scotch, he turned his attention to Bastien.

“Bastien, is the car ready?”

“Yes, Your Majesty, it is waiting downstairs. There is press coverage outside the front entrance; I suggest we exit via the service entrance, Sir.”

“Very well, lead the way.”

The limo ride to Brooklyn was a blur, as Liam’s thoughts were consumed with seeing Riley again. He knew he was taking a significant risk by arriving unannounced, but he could not let another moment go by without reaching out to her.

When the limo finally pulled up in front of her brownstone, he took a shuddered breath as he watched Bastien get out and perform a quick perimeter sweep. Once completed, Bastien returned to open the limo door, and Liam stepped out. As he walked toward the steps and up to her door, the air felt electric, and he could feel his heart racing.

What would she say when she saw him?

Would she even speak to him?

Liam had so many questions, but the only way to find the answers was to take a leap of faith and knock on her door. He hesitated for a moment, then lifted his hand and rapped on the wooden door. After a few moments, the door opened, and Liam’s heart stopped. There she was, the love of his life, the one who had captured his heart and never let go.

“Riley...”- he managed; his voice choked with emotion.

“Liam,” she whispered, her voice barely audible.

Their eyes locked, and Liam felt as if the rest of the world had melted away. They stood there, staring at each other, both lost for words. Liam’s mind raced, and his heart pounded. He had imagined this moment so many times, but now that he was standing here in front of her, he was paralyzed with fear and uncertainty.

...and, wow, she looked incredible!

Her chestnut hair cascaded over her shoulders, and her chocolate brown eyes sparkled with emotion. She was dressed simply; a soft, silver grey sweater and jeans. But there was no mistaking the elegance and grace that radiated from her. Liam’s breath caught in his throat, and his heart ached with longing.

She was his sun and stars, his everything.

He knew he was in for a battle, but for Riley, it would be worth it.

Riley lost her struggle, her eyes welling with tears.

“Liam...” she managed, before stepping forward and wrapping her arms around his neck.

He held her close, inhaling her scent, savoring the feel of her body against his. It felt like a dream, a moment too good to be true.

“I missed you,” he whispered.

“I missed you, too.” Her voice was a soft murmur, muffled by his shoulder.

Liam felt her trembling, and he pulled away to look into her eyes. “Are you alright?” he asked, concerned.

“I’m fine. I’m just...” she trailed off, unsure how to continue.

He smiled tenderly and gently brushed a strand of hair from her face. “It’s all right. I am not going anywhere.”

His heart was pounding as he looked down into her beautiful eyes, and he knew in that moment that he would do anything for her.

Riley grasped his hand. "Please, please, come in." She turned and pulled him toward the living area and motioned for him to sit on the sofa.

"Would you like something to drink? Wine, scotch, whiskey?" Riley asked.

"Scotch sounds great."

As she busied herself with pouring his drink, Liam took the opportunity to look around her home. It was filled with warmth and love, and it was clear that a family lived there. Toys were neatly gathered beside the fireplace, alongside a bookshelf of children's books.

Riley returned with his scotch and settled onto the couch next to him with bottled water for herself.

“You have a beautiful home, Riley,” Liam commented.

She smiled shyly. “Thank you. It's not quite a palace, but we’re happy here.”

Liam noticed all the pictures, framed and positioned throughout the room. Taking note of the two men and small boy standing beside Riley next to a Christmas tree.

“So, you’ve got a family now. Are you married?”

Riley’s expression grew serious. “No. No, I’m not.”

Liam breathed a sigh of relief. Riley noticed the framed picture Liam referenced.

“Remember, Daniel?” Riley paused, breathing deeply.

“Yes, he worked at the bar...”, Liam’s words trailed off.

“That’s right. Daniel, along with his husband, offered me a place to live, here, when I returned from Cordonia. They didn’t want me to be alone in the city.”

Liam noticed that her hands were trembling as she set her water bottle down on the coffee table.

“Liam...” Riley began, her voice trailing off.

“What is it, Riley? Please tell me.” Liam encouraged, as her eyes filled with tears.

“This is really hard for me.” Riley choked out the words.

“Riley?” Liam questioned softly, placing his hand on hers. The worry now etched on his face.

“There is something I need to tell you, Liam,” her voice wavering. Riley closed her eyes, unable to continue looking at him.

“We have a son. His name is William. He is two years old.” Riley blurted out quickly.

Liam was stunned. Rendered speechless. His head was spinning as he looked into her eyes. He swallowed thickly, not sure what to say.

“Liam, say something,” Riley pleaded.

“We have a son,” Liam said, his voice barely a whisper.

“Yes,” Riley said softly. “I am so, so sorry I didn’t tell you. I wanted to, but it was never the right time.”

Liam took a deep breath and tried to steady himself.

“I know it’s a lot to take in, and I don’t expect you to be okay with it. But I wanted you to know the truth. It was wrong for me to keep it from you.”

“...but I was scared. So scared of what would happen if I stayed in Cordonia. Of what Madeleine would do. Of what that would do to your reputation.”

Liam sat back on the sofa, his gaze not leaving Riley's face.

"I understand why you would feel like you had to do that, Riley. I'm not mad at you," Liam said, his heart heavy.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, concerned.

"Honestly? Confused, hurt, a little angry," Liam admitted.

"I'm so sorry, Liam," Riley said, her voice breaking.

"Riley, I just need some time to process this."

"I understand," Riley said softly.

"Do you want to meet him? William, I mean," she asked.

"Yes," Liam said, his voice choked with emotion. “Very much."

Riley stood up and walked down the hall. Liam followed her and stopped when they reached a door covered in brightly colored stickers.

Sleeping on his side, wrapped in a blue blanket, William slept hugging his Scooby-doo plushie.

Liam's heart swelled with emotion. He knelt beside his bed; eye-level with the little boy.

“This is your son, Liam. William.”

“My son.” He slowly repeated.

Riley's lip trembled, watching his emotions starting to overtake him. “I'm going to leave you alone with him... if that is OK. I'll be in the kitchen if you need anything."

"Thank you, Riley."

She squeezed his hand and then quietly left the room.

As Liam looked at the child sleeping before him, a whirlwind of emotions washed over him. Pride, love, regret, sadness, all vied for a place in his heart. But most of all, he felt an overwhelming sense of protectiveness and responsibility. This boy, his son, was a gift. Liam would do everything in his power to make sure he was safe and loved.

Liam leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on the boy's forehead.

"I love you, William," he whispered. "I will always be there for you."

With tears streaming down his cheeks, Liam made a silent vow:

No matter what, he would do right by his son.

Thanks for reading 🫶

📌All fics & edits: @ao719 @txemrn @queenmiarys @sfb123 @twinkleallnight @alj4890 @differenttyphoonwerewolf @harleybeaumont @busywoman @karahalloway @kingliam2019 @imjusthereforliam @lovingchoices14 @kyra75 @tinkie1973 @emkay512 @malblk21 @kristinamae093 @charlotteg234

📌TRR/TRF Liam & Riley @irisk12 @thesvnsins @walkerdrakewalker @jared2612

📌Turning the Page: @emersyn-in-cordonia @mainstreetreader @belencha77 @iluaaa @mysticalfangirl @queenwalton @bascmve01 @umccall71 @choicesfrog @amandablink

📌Submissions: @choicesficwriterscreations @choicesflashfics

#tessa liam writes #choices the royal romance #choicesflashfics #liam rys #king liam rys #trr #riley brooks #trr fanfic #king liam #trr liam x mc #always liam and riley #turning the page #choices fic writers creations

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ijwrsmff · 9 months

Text

Commission for @pickingpixel !

This one was so fun to write! It involves a male reader, who is a demon and the avatar of sorrow! I guess tw for swearing? Overall it's along the lines of a hurt/comfort.

Thank you so much Pixel! I appreciate you giving me the chance to write this story for you, and I hope you like it! (Could not figure out why I can't tag you I'm sorry but I also emailed it to you)!

Word Count: It ended up being 6,490! Much longer than most of the others I've written, so it was a fun little challenge! Each story with the brothers is separate, so it's kind of like 7 stories! With a little ending that ties them all together!

Lucifer:

Another day in the life of the avatar of sorrow. You were waking up for what had to have been your 10th nap in the day. Time passed weirdly, when you didn’t really want to do anything. But motivation struck you, and you went to bother Lucifer. You’d lived with the brothers for a while, but Lucifer seemed to like you the least. Though it wasn’t surprising, seeing as he also liked a lot of people the least.

You checked his office, and for once he wasn’t there. He was almost always there, so the only other places he could be were his room or Diavolo’s castle. He tended to go there a lot too, always being Diavolo’s lap dog or whatever. But going all the way to the castle didn’t seem appealing at all, so you were relieved when he was in his room.

Knocking as a formality, and that alone, you walked right in. He was, as to be expected, at his desk also doing work. Perhaps? Upon closer look he was reading a book at the desk. He barely noticed you coming in, and let out a simple huff to show he knew you were there.

“Lucifer.” You said, walking up to his desk to see what he was reading. It was something way over your head, and seemed boring in the three words you cared to read. Books may or may not be your thing, but certainly not the ones Lucifer read.

He closed his book and without even looking at you said “I’m trying to read. Go away.” And finally looked at you after you stayed there for several moments. “Y/n, let me read.” He said once more, and sighed in irritation when you still didn’t move.

“I’m bored.” Was all you said, and you walked over to Lucifer’s bed and plopped down on it. For a brief moment, he thought you left. But when he heard the rustling of his bedsheets he jumped up.

“WHAT ARE YOU-” He got up and walked over to you, picking you up off the bed with ease. “Get off. MY. Bed.” and he tossed you to the ground.

You weren’t just any demon. You were an avatar of sorrow. Lucifer knew you were tough enough to take a fall like that. Not that he wanted to hurt you, but you were irritating him. “Seriously?” He said, deadpan as you made yourself comfortable on the floor. “Just get out, I can’t get any relaxing done when you’re here moping around.”

The words stung a bit, but you were used to it by now. You knew you had that aura about you, the one where demons would look at you and think ‘What’s his problem? He lives with the seven rulers of the devildom, he’s got nothing to be sad about!’ Coming from those jealous of your residing so close to the demons all of the devildom wanted to be around. But hearing it from the brothers, it still hurts.

Something in you snapped, becoming angry before turning back to sadness, “How would you feel? Being an avatar of sorrow, overwhelmed with feelings of not being good enough? All. The. Time. All of the other ‘avatars’ are considered brothers. What am I then? Just another demon you’re stuck with?” And you left as quickly as you came. You didn’t even stop when Lucifer called after you.

You didn’t choose to be this way…you didn’t want to be depressed all the time. Another few steps and you’d be in your room, back to sleeping the day away. Consumed by the negative thoughts that swarmed through your mind no matter what kind of day you were having.

“Y/N! I SAID WAIT!” Lucifer called, catching up to you. He even reached out and grabbed your shoulder. After the altercation, you didn’t have enough energy to fight it. He sighed again, and continued, “Wait. Please. We need to talk.” He sounded strained, like he didn’t even really want to have this conversation, but you let him proceed anyway.

“And just what do we need to talk about?” All the anger was gone, and you just felt…empty. That same feeling that you hated to feel day in and day out. No positive emotions, no negative even. Just completely empty.

“Everything. I don’t…” He groaned and rubbed his face, “I don’t mean to be so cruel towards you. Insensitive even…” He trailed off and looked at you to see if you were listening. In some ways you were, some ways you weren’t.

“The thing is…I do see you as a brother figure. Which is why I distance myself.” He knew he needed to explain, but it was hard to get the words together. “When we’re here, at home, I see you sad and it makes me sad too.”

You raised an eyebrow, and a little bit of life flickered in your eyes, only to return to emptiness, “That’s kind of my effect on demons. Sorrow.” And you finally faced fully towards him, waiting for him to continue.

“Just…listen. You’re like family to me, so seeing you’re sad, KNOWING you're sad…it’s hard. And I don’t know how to make you smile. I’m not good at that.” Hearing the avatar of pride mention he’s not good at something was a shock, and it even registered on your face. Slightly. “And when we’re in public I see other demons look at me and revere. But when they look at you, it’s pity.” He reached out a hand to put on your shoulder and waited for your permission to do so, “I can’t stand having anyone look down on you. You have…admirable qualities.” It sounded unsure, but got the point somewhat across.

“Like…what?” You could rarely think of anything good about yourself, and you knew it was your power that made you feel that way, but hearing Lucifer say something good about you made you a little…hopeful…for the first time in a long time.

“I could never have your ability. It would drive me insane, and it only makes me proud of you. For being stronger…stronger than me. In some ways. So just…keep that in mind.” And he walked off without another word.

After what felt like an eternity, that little bit of life…sparked once more in your eyes. Making even you, the avatar of sorrow, think that things…might be okay.

Mammon:

“Why are you so annoying?” You said to Mammon, as he cried over Goldie being cut up into pieces. Lucifer had enough of Mammon’s complaining, and cut his favorite belonging into several pieces and left them on the ground.

He turned back to you and screamed, “WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW? MY PRECIOUS BABY GOLDIE!” And he tried pathetically to piece it back together. “Shopping sprees will never be the same without you…” As he disregarded you.

But you were there just walking around, you COULD just leave. Actually…maybe you will. Muttering under your breath as you left, “Shopping sprees are so boring.” But no. Absolutely not. Mammon would NOT let those words slide!

“Boring? BORING?” He ran up to you, and placed both hands on your shoulders, “A man’s best friend is his wallet.” He said, way too serious for your liking. That tone…he was planning something. “Come on. Shopping trip. Now.”

You eyed his cut up credit card, and raised an unamused eyebrow. “And just how will you be paying?” Somehow you knew the answer, but tried to put what little faith you had in Mammon into him having an unseen character development arc. “And if you say…”

“You’re paying.” He said, before you could finish your sentence. Yup. Exactly what you suspected. That didn’t stop the wild glimmer in his eye from coming back full force though, as if just the thought of you paying for a shopping trip brought him as much joy as spending money on his own card. Maybe he just liked spending money, regardless of whose money it is.

You looked into his eyes, not falling for this trick. “No. I’m not.” But your resolve went away the longer he stared at you with those pleading eyes of his. He wasn’t leaving this alone, as several minutes of unwavering staring proved to you. “Mammon, no. I don’t want to.”

He still wouldn’t give up though, and used his arms to hold you closer as he whined, “PLEEEEEEASE! I promise you’ll love shopping trips! The great Mammon knows all the best locations and prices!” Something told you he knew NOTHING about prices. But as he whined, and whined…and whined…you gave in.

“OKAY! DAMN! Then will you leave me alone?” You groaned, and once more, even louder when he pulled you into a hug. Mammon’s cheers and excited “woot woot!”s making you feel like you definitely signed up for something you couldn’t handle. Or at the least didn’t want to.

“YES! I’LL LEAVE YOU ALONE NOW LET’S GOOOOO!” He ran to the door, and looked back at you like a puppy waiting for its owner to follow it. Maybe you could convince him to leave earlier if you lied about how much money was on your card. Eh…you’d decide later.

Shop after shop, you sat out front while Mammon did unknown amounts of damage to your card. You didn’t buy much, so you had a heaping sum laying in your account. Though something tells you even that wouldn’t stand a chance against the avatar of greed. You didn’t really care what he bought, as long as it would appease him and make him leave you alone for a few hours.

Though after a couple shops, he dragged you in with him. “Mammon, I don’t wanna shop, just get your shit and let’s go!” You practically slugged behind him, but every once in a while something would catch your eye. Briefly. Mammon didn’t seem to notice, clearly more intent to get more things for himself than others. Typical.

In a couple hours, you were both walking around with full hands. 99% of its contents were a mystery to you. He did buy a little keychain with you directly next to him, which made up the 1%. It was exhausting more than anything, and by the time you convinced him to go home you were completely spent. You just wanted to not be bored…and you guess…Mammon did resolve that. It wasn’t necessarily “fun” but it was something to do that was more than anything you could do around the dorms.

Mammon gave you back the card, looking very…very pleased with himself. Dropping all the bags you were carrying in the entrance, you went to go back to your room, but he stopped you. With his foot. Both his hands were still full, so a foot would have to do.

“Woah, woah, woah! Where are you going! Don’t you wanna see all the stuff I got?” He grinned and you groaned. It was annoying, but you helped carry all the bags to Mammon’s room. Once again, you placed the bags down and went to leave. And once again, he stopped you.

“Come on! Check out this stuff I got for you!” It certainly did make you stop. You turned to see if he was joking, but he looked serious. As serious as a grinning avatar of greed could be. When you tilted your head, he continued, “Don’t act so surprised. The great Mammon is very generous.” And he huffed.

It made you scoff, but you did walk over to him and the bags. “I got one thing for you from each of the stores we went to!” Then muttered, “And a few things for me…” And he began pulling all the items out of the bags, making a “for you” and “for me” pile. “You don’t like a lot of shit, so I just did some guessing.”

To your surprise, you did think a lot of the items were pretty cool. At the last bag, and the item you liked most, you smiled while looking at it. Actually…smiled.

“BOOM! SUCCESS!” It tore the smile off your face, and replaced it with a mixture of shock and confusion. “Well…I don’t think I’ve ever seen ya smile. You’re pretty depressed, dude. So I wanted to see if I could make ya smile by the end of the day.” He gave himself a high five, “So today was an epic success, only possible because of the great Mammon.”

It was embarrassing for you, so you got up to leave…but you did carry your belongings Mammon got you in one of the shopping bags. He continued to cheer as you left, and rambled about how amazing he was. You turned back at the door, and gave a real smile. It was small, but still there. “Mammon…thank you.” And left without another word.

Who knew…that the avatar of sorrow could smile. All because of one idiot and a lot of his own money down the drain.

Leviathan:

“Why am I here again?” You said, sitting in Levi’s room with him right next to you. He had called you there very suddenly, and mentioned a reason but used a lot of terms you didn’t understand. So you weren’t entirely sure what the goal here was.

He chuckled, and it would have sounded menacing coming from anyone but him, “We’re going to find out your favorite video game genre.” Levi explained, but it made you lose interest immediately.

“No thanks, I’m good not knowing, I’ll-” But his hand grabbed your arm to stop you. He wasn’t very strong physically, but you also didn’t want to bother him too much. Out of all his brothers, he probably understood your sorrow the most. Which…was unfortunate. But also made you feel validated. You sensed that in him, the very sorrow that dwells within you had a home deep down in his heart. So you stayed.

“Please! I just need to know so I can get you into pro-gaming!” And he chuckled yet again. Just like you were soft on him, he was soft on you. It wasn’t just anyone he tried this hard to have a relationship with. He knew you were sad, so he said “Games…help me. Feel better. So maybe…they can make you feel better too.” Then he looked away to not see any trace of rejection on your face.

It was really sweet…how he was going to try and help you. So you sat down without another word, and heard his excited giggle as soon as you did. “Alright…where do we start?” You sounded defeated, but that wasn’t entirely uncommon. It didn’t phase Levi at least, which…kind of made you…maybe a little content? You didn’t know the right word for it, all you knew was he was trying. It made you wanna try too.

Several games went by, each of which Levi would ask a million questions about and share “fun facts” about it throughout your gameplay of them. Some of them were okay? Some were definite nos. “I thought that one was alright. It needs more x, but I liked the “gameplay” of it.” He was even teaching you new gaming words, what has your world come to?

Levi thought for a moment, and slammed his fist in his hand with an “I GOT IT!” He jumped up and rummaged through his games carefully. He was looking for something, but also wasn’t going to destroy all the other games he enjoyed. Had it been one of his brothers, they would probably destroy them. But you waited patiently, and he finally pulled out a game you had yet to play.

“This one isn’t one of my personal favs, but if you liked those things about the other you’re going to LOVE this!” And without another word he inserted the game into the console and handed you the controller. “Okay now for this game this button does…” And he went into detail about what all the buttons would do.

Even when the game explained that to you the second you loaded in.

You didn’t know how long you were playing, but it didn’t seem like too long. Between the music, story, and gameplay…this was at least your favorite game you’ve played. Though your face didn’t show it, you were actually enjoying the game a lot. And not just that, but having Levi tell you about all the things you missed and information on how it was made, made the whole experience a lot better.

He was more excited than you visibly were, but he acknowledged he might be annoying you with the games and that brought you out of it. You paused the game, and turned to him. “No…Levi you’re not being annoying. This game is really fun. I like it. Tell me about this character?” And you unpaused to show him which character you were talking about.

“You…you really like it? You’re not just saying that?” His worried poured out, and he rambled, “I know some people get mad when I force them to play games, but I think there’s games for everyone, and if you hate it I need to know so-”

You hit his arm lightly, “I mean it. It’s fun. Thanks for showing me this.” To send the point home, you smiled at Levi. It may not have been a huge smile, but it was more than he had ever seen from you. He looked completely and utterly shocked, and yelled before you could say another word.

“YOU CAN SMILE? FRIENDSHIP METER RAISED LOL!”

Satan:

If anyone knew what you were going through, in terms of unasked for demonic powers, it’d be Satan. His anger was unrivaled, and you were dealing with a serious bout of depression. You didn’t know if he could help you, but you were going to try. Ever since becoming the avatar of sorrow, and avatar of wrath, you both knew how uncontrollable that power became for you and those around you.

He was cooking dinner, since it was his turn. Belphie had agreed to puppy guard Beel so Satan could get the food done before Beel ate it all. He had been known to do such a thing. Many. Times. It was his burden, to always be hungry. So you didn’t really blame him, but having your own food to eat was good too.

Satan didn’t expect a visitor, let alone you, but he wasn’t going to argue with the company. “Hey. Dinner will be ready in an hour, maybe two.” He said, without looking up from his work. He couldn’t fathom why you’d be here if not to check on food.

“Satan…how do you do it?” You hadn’t even looked at him fully, just like how he hadn’t looked at you. But when you asked, he did look briefly, realizing you weren’t talking about his cooking.

“How do I do what?” He didn’t look again, just continued to work on everyone’s dinner. “I know you don’t mean to make the soup. We both know you’re a better cook than me.” Satan wasn’t even a BAD cook, but he wasn’t a good one either. Except for very select things.

“Deal with…the anger.” He stopped, but didn’t look at you. It took him several moments of pausing to resume his cooking, and he waited for you to continue. “You're the avatar of wrath…so you’re angry a lot. How do you deal with it?” You sighed, and rubbed one arm with your opposing hand, and felt dumb for even asking.

This made him stop working altogether, and face you. He wasn’t worried about the food right now, it could wait. This was more important. “It’s not easy. And I presume you’re only asking because you’re dealing with the effects of your own power.” He walked over, and looked at you evenly, making you look at him too. He was trying to search your eyes for emotions, and only found…well…sadness.

“Yeah…I’m tired of being sad. About anything, everything. It’s so overwhelming…and underwhelming. It’s hard to explain.” You groaned and looked at him to find sympathy in his eyes. It made you hesitate, but waited patiently for his reply.

“It is hard. It took years to work on it. But even now, I realize I’m angry pretty much all the time.” It didn’t seem like much of an answer, so he elaborated, “I do feel angry. All the time. But after a while, I learned to accept it. And instead focused on something opposite to wrath. What I found was contentment.” He pulled out his phone, and showed you an extremely long document on his phone about every book he’s ever read.

“So…I find something…that makes me happy? And just accept I’ll always be sad even still?” It didn’t make sense, “But that’s not fair! I don’t want to be…just sad. All the time.” You slumped, and Satan sighed.

“What I’m trying to say is…while you may be sad, it just means you have the potential to be even happier still. I get excited about new books, and something I’ve been taught, and learned THROUGH those books, is how you can feel more than what you are made to.” His lips twitched into a smile before returning to their neutral expression. “If you can be sad, you can prove the world wrong. Show them you can be happy, even as the avatar of sorrow.”

“Oh…” Was all you could think to say. It took many moments of processing, and Satan allowed you that time. “But how…can I find things that make me happy?” You looked almost pleading, craving more answers. It did make sense? To an extent? But it sounded a lot easier said than done.

“Try something you haven’t yet. Read a different kind of book, find someone to confide in, play a board game, just something you haven’t tried. If nothing you’ve done has made you happy, try something else.” He went back to cooking, but was turned partially towards you so you knew he was still engaged in the conversation.

“I don’t even know what I COULD try…” His words left you hopeful, that you really could find something to make you a happier demon. Was it even possible? But…”If the avatar of wrath can be excited…then the avatar of sorrow can be…happy?” It was more of a question than anything, but it did made Satan smile slightly.

“I have books on hobbies. After I’m done cooking and we’ve all eaten, come to my room. We can go through some of the hobbies you can try, or I could lend you those books.” Books seemed to be his answer for everything, but he was an extremely wise demon. Maybe there was something to them after all.

“I’d…I’d like that.”

Asmodeus:

“Smiiiiiiile!” Asmo said, as he tried to take a selfie with you. “Pleeeeease! Just one smile!” He was doing his best! He was all dressed up and everything! “We’re about to go eat at that new restaurant! I need a good selfie for the occasion!” He pouted.

“I never agreed to that.” You said, not amused by any of this. “You’re the one that decided we were going. I never even agree to that, much less “selfies”.” You used air quotes. You’d never taken one, and what was the point? Asmo cared way more about beauty than you, but as is expected of the avatar of lust.

He pouted and crossed his arms, before going to a better lit spot in his room to take his own picture. Asmo finished with several pictures, and walked back over to you, “Don’t I look cute in this one? This one isn’t the best but still adorable~!” And scrolled through each and every one with you. “Now come on! It’s restaurant time!” As he dragged you out the door.

“I seriously never agreed to this.” You groaned but decided it was worth it to get some food. You were kind of hungry, and maybe if you were lucky Asmo would find another demon to go bother and you could go home. A nap sounded alright, a long day of…well nothing…was exhausting.

Asmo took more pictures on the way there, and eventually started taking some with you too. “I thought you didn’t want me in your pictures.” Was all you said, on the walk when he refused to stop taking more. “Won’t I “ruin” them.” It was stated as a fact, but he didn’t take it that way, more of an argumentative statement.

“Brothers need to take pictures together!” And he wrapped his arms around one of yours. “It’s healthy!” But you were thrown off by the “brothers” bit. Asmo hadn’t called you brother yet.

“Brothers?” You were confused, and looked at him while he practically skipped in step with you. “I know I'm the avatar of sorrow…but we don’t have to be brothers.” Your eyes cast downwards, as you waited for the impending punchline of his joke. But he didn’t make one.

Instead, he huffed and poked your nose, “Of course! You’re just such a cute little brother!” He let go of your arm and spun around once, taking his phone out for another selfie. “I was only big brother to two, you know? But now I get to be a proper big brother again!” He managed to capture a few pictures as you laughed.

“Asmo, I’m older than you. By a good bit, “you know”,” you said, quoting himself back to him directly to his face. Then you realized the snapping you heard was his camera. “W-wait! Delete those!” You reached for it, but he stepped aside too quickly, clearly expecting it.

“Nu uh! Actually…tell you what.” He winked and grinned as he skipped backwards for each step you took towards him. “I’ll promise to only show my circle those pictures, if you smile again.” Asmo was trying to trick you, and you knew it. But you couldn’t even really smile “properly”. That laugh was the first time in a long time you’d even smiled. Or come close.

There were little smiles, and grins VERY occasionally, but never a straight up smile. “Asmo we both know your circle is hundreds of demons, saying “only my circle” is still way more demons than I can even name. By a lot.” You stopped chasing him and looked to the ground. “I don’t even really…know how to smile. It doesn’t happen often.”

He looked at you and went, “Awww! My little baby demon brother needs a lesson in smiling? Well you’ll be pleased to know I have the best smile in the Heavens, planets AND Devildom!” It made your eye twitch, hearing him boast again.

“Asmo seriously? I’m older than you!” You huffed and started walking towards the restaurant again. “For making fun of me, you’re paying.” It was meant as a threat, but you should have known he wouldn’t care. “And you’re buying dessert.”

“Aww!” Just the noise was starting to irk you, “Does my little baby brother need his BIG brother to pay for their meal? Of course! Only since you asked so nicely~!” And he spun back to you, wrapping both arms around yours again.

“Asmo…I’m gonna say this one last time…” You started and he waited patiently as you gathered the words, “I’M OLDER THAN YOU!”

It would not be anywhere close to the last time, but after some time you’d grow to enjoy it. Though you’d never once tell him that. It would go straight to his head, and everyone already dealt with that enough as it is…still…

It was nice to laugh. Maybe…you’ll find an opportunity to do it again.

Beelzebub:

You walked through the dorms, and bumped (quite literally) into Beelzebub. His stomach growled, and you figured he was on his way to the kitchen to get more food. Even if his stomach HADN’T growled, you would still assume so. But him rubbing his belly with a pained look on his face only amplified that.

“Beel?” You questioned, when he didn’t move from his spot. He looked at you and asked the “logical” question.

“Do you have food?”

You sighed, and said “No. Not really hungry.” But made a mental note that you might start carrying at least a snack on you for when you did bump into Beel. “Sorry.” And you went to move away, but heard Beel follow you. “Uh…what?”

He looked determined, “You didn’t eat breakfast with us again. Did you have a big breakfast on your own?” He ended up stopping you in your tracks, and he said “Can you cook? Did you cook your own breakfast? What did you make?” Figures that he was probably asking if you could cook for him.

“I kind of cooked it. I just fried a block of cheese in the microwave.” You dismissively said, and went to walk away but were once more stopped by Beel. “Beel. What?” You were getting a bit irritated, but also concerned. Beel got…a little wild when he was too hungry. “You know you’ll feel sick if you don’t eat.” But he didn’t reply a single word, just grabbed your arm and dragged you to the kitchen.

He still looked so shocked, “Can a block of cheese really fill you up…?” It was incomprehensible for him. “You should eat.” And he rummaged through the cabinets. Luckily the kitchen was always stocked for when others ASIDE FROM Beel wanted to eat. He could eat anything and everything, but he still tried to leave at least some for the others. Including you.

You groaned, not wanting to, but also knowing you probably should. “I’m not really hungry, B-” And a chocolate bar was shoved in your mouth. When did he even grab that? And how come you didn’t notice it?

The look of shock actually made Beel laugh, but it turned serious again, “You can’t go that long without eating. It’s not good for you.” He quickly ate at least three chocolate bars, before he started looking for meat. “Eat more.”

You muttered “It’s not healthy to overeat either…” But he either didn’t hear it or didn’t care. You jumped up on the counter and glared at him while he searched for more and more food. When he held out a hotdog on a stick, you simply glared. “I’m not hungry.”

Beel started to glare back, and held out the hotdog as long as he could before his own temptations gave in and he ate it. “Sorry…was meant for you.” And he picked up and held out several things, only for him to end up eating it in the end. “This time. This time it’s for you.” He held out his FAVORITE burger.

“Beel no. That’s like…your favorite or something. I’m not eating it. I wouldn’t even if I WAS hungry.” Your glare disappeared, and you realized he was even willing to give up his favorite burgers just so you’d eat something. That had to mean something to him, so in turn it meant a lot to you. “Why do you even care…?” It didn’t make sense to you at all, and you wanted to know the answer.

“Because you’re our brother. You need to eat and be healthy.” It was so straightforward, that it caught you off guard. But he looked as serious as could be, and continued to prod the burger closer to your hands. He wasn’t going to sit there and feed you if he could help it, but the stunt with the chocolate bar proved he wasn’t above doing so. “Eating is important.”

Your will began to break, and you struck a deal, “How’s this then…you eat your favorite burger, and I eat some cereal or something.” You would feel awful eating that burger knowing how bad Beel would want it. Already feeling bad as it is, you didn’t need another reason to feel bad. “Okay?” You tried, watching the gears turn in his mind.

“Okay!” He said, and instantly downed the burger. How did he even do that without feeling sick? Either way, you both knew you couldn’t go back on your promise. You hadn’t even got down from the counter when Beel made you a bowl of cereal they had. He was really determined right now…

When he handed it to you, you spitefully took one bite and looked at him with a “happy now?” He clearly was NOT happy now. He pointed at the cereal and crossed his arms. “Seriously? You’re going to watch me eat this whole bowl?” He nodded. “Great. An audience when eating…”

Beel’s stomach grumbled again, and he went back to the cabinets to find more. “Eating…” He repeated that last word before doing exactly that. He was far from done eating when you had finished, but it was okay. It was…like a bonding moment.

“Beel.” You said, and set the empty bowl in the sink. He’d just started eating a steak (how did he even find one and cook it right?) when you spoke up. “Are you even listening?” You sighed, and rubbed your forehead in dread of the emotional moment you were about to have.

“Mmm!” It was meant to be more of a “mhm” but it became just a random noise to show he was listening while also really enjoying the steak. He was paying attention at least, maybe it would actually be better to do this while he was eating so he couldn’t say anything back.

“Thank you…for caring.” You were going to add more, but it was embarrassing enough as it is. Without another word you walked out of the kitchen. Or tried to.

You were pulled into a side hug, and it left you standing there frozen. “I do care. We all do. But we’re not rushing you. Next time you want a late night snack, come get me.” And he let you go, leaving you with those words while he ate even more.

Do they really…all care? It could be hard to tell. But maybe…just maybe…he was speaking the truth.

Belphagor:

“What’s your secret to sleeping so well?” Was the simple question you asked to Belphie, who was chilling in your room…for some reason. “Don’t you have better places to nap?” It wasn’t as much out of irritation as it was curiosity. He did seem to be napping in your room more often these days. He didn’t used to, but you didn’t feel like talking about that right now. Instead you just wanted to know how he always slept so well. At least it seemed he did anyway.

“Nap when you’re tired. Go to bed when you’re tired. You wake up tired? Sleep another few hours.” He fluffed the pillow he brought with him everywhere and laid back down. He said it so matter-of-fact, and seemed to believe it.

“Do you have a favorite place to nap?” You didn’t know why you were asking so many questions, but he was so laid back all the time it couldn’t hurt. You’d rather be asking Belphie questions in comparison to Lucifer. “Or a place where you nap more than others?”

“Yeah. You wanna see?” He sat up and yawned, raising an arm in the air to stretch. He didn’t even wait for you to answer! “Come on.” He said, and walked out of the room. Belphie didn’t even seem to care if you were following or not, just heading in his direction.

You stood up, not having anything better to do, and followed after him. He continued to walk, and seemed to know exactly where he was going. Belphie really must come here a lot, to know where it was from anywhere in the house. “Where are we even going?” You personally didn’t leave your room too much, but you didn’t know if the other brothers did either.

“My secret place.” He said, and looked back at you, “That literally all my brothers know about. You’re the last one that doesn’t.” And he continued to walk in a certain direction. He just called you a brother…and so casually…maybe he didn’t even realize he said it? Who knew with Belphie. He could be both laid back, and calculating. It was confusing.

You didn’t address his comment, and instead chose to just follow him to where he was leading you. The dorms were so big, it seemed like you were going so much further than you thought possible. With these dorms though, there was certainly a lot you had yet to see. Maybe one of the brothers would show you their favorite places too…over time. You were in no rush, and you presumed they weren’t either.

When you arrived, it was a beautiful room with a skylight that showed more stars in the sky than you thought there were. A few blankets and pillows were already there, showing it really was Belphie’s favorite sleep spot. But there were also a lot of other things there, presumably belonging to the other brothers, especially Beel. It made sense…they were brothers. And Beel was his twin, so it made sense there were more things of Beel’s than the others.

Belphie noticed you staring at all the little trinkets, and pointed to one keychain that was dangling over the bookshelf. “See that one?” He walked over and held it up to you. It was simple, just some horns in your favorite color. “You haven’t come here before, but I still wanted something of you here.” He dismissed it immediately, but you weren’t willing to let it go.

“Something…of me?” And you walked up beside him to look at the keychain. “But…why?” It confused you greatly, but then again…a lot about Belphie and his brothers confused you.

He looked at you before plopping down on a couple of blankets in the center of the room and looked up to the stars. “Because I want something for all my brothers here. It’s my place, but it’s theirs too. Yours too.” And he yawned, but patted the spot next to him. “Come look at the stars. They’re really pretty right now.”

“You’re so dismissive…” It was a statement, and he chuckled at the words. You debated just leaving, but he looked at you expectantly. “Fine…just for a little while.” Far more careful with the motion, you laid down next to him.

Belphie pointed out some stars, and you could only pay attention for so long before dozing off. He would be lying if he said he didn’t fall asleep right after. He didn’t have to talk more if you were asleep too, perfect time for him to take that nap he wanted.

End:

It was relaxing…knowing they all thought of you as their brother. Over time, you’d grown to see them as brothers too. Just like Satan said to do, you found your happiness too. But not in a hobby, instead, it was the brothers around you. They all had their good qualities, and bad qualities. Just like you. They were on your side.

And you were on theirs.

#x reader #male reader #male! reader & obey me brothers #platonic relationships #platonic lucifer & reader #platonic mammon & reader #platonic leviathan & reader #platonic satan & reader #platonic asmodeus & reader #platonic beelzebub & reader #platonic Belphegor & reader #obey me x reader #obey me & reader #male reader is avatar of sorrow #brothers #commission #hurt/comfort

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rinatic · 1 year

Text

In love with my roommate | Johnny Suh

Pairing: roommate!johnny x fem!reader

Genre: best friends, roommates, friends to lovers, angst and fluff.

Word count: 2k

Warnings: shirtless johnny

A/n: first attempt so pls be nice to me lol, hope y'all enjoy this :)

I rolled over in my bed and looked at the time on my cell phone. It was 9:30 p.m. and my twenty-minute power nap had accidentally turned into a two-hour snooze. I glanced out the window to check the weather conditions. It was completely dark with a lot of wind.

Definitely not the best time to jog around, but it would have to do. I really needed to walk to clear my mind from one thing.

My crush likes someone else.

And what is worse is my crush is, unfortunately, my roommate.

I threw off my blankets and pushed myself out of bed. I gave one good yawn with a long stretch then plopped back on my bed. Remembering that he told me he's going on a date today and might bring that girl he keeps talking about to our shared apartment.

He did leave early, so i suppose they're on their way to here? If so, i have to hurry up, i need to get dressed and be outside in like minutes. If i don't get my lazy ass off my bed and start dressing soon, I'll get to see him here with her.

And I don't want to see her.

I can't allow myself to because I'll know she'll become the person i hate the most, knowing myself, I'll probably blame her for every little thing that goes wrong in my life from the very moment i see her.

And I don't want to do that.

But how will I avoid her when she'll be the girlfriend of my roommate?

A knock on the door startled me. "Are you there, y/n? Can i enter?"

It's him, of course it's him, who would it be except that stupid boy i like?

I found myself fixing my posture as well as my fixing my hair. I hate to admit it but it became a habit to check if i look present and neat in front of him. "Yeah, come in." The door swung open slowly, and there stood Johnny, wearing nothing more than a towel that he wrapped around his waist, showing off his perfectly chiseled body. The towel looked like it will fall any moment.

Little water drops fell from his hair strands to his neck to his chest. I couldn't help but admire how fucking hot he looks right now.

I hope he did not notice me practically drooling over him. "You've been in your bed all day?" Yeah, depressed because you don't acknowledge me nor my feelings towards you, I thought. "Yeah, but I'm going to hang out with a friend, I'm gonna get ready.."

"At this hour? You goin' to a bar or somethin'?" Ugh. That's what I dislike about him. He's so nosy. He's the type to want to know everything, so annoying. I watched him as he went to my closet. "Can't I leave this house without telling you where I'm going?"

"I tell you everything, we're best friends so we shouldn't hide something from each other." He threw a glance at me over the shoulder then took my perfume. He had the audacity to come to my closet and steal this specific perfume everytime he has an important event to attend. Or specifically when he has a date.

Yes, I've suffered for the past two years from watching him going on countless dates. Bringing his girlfriends here and even fucking them here in his room that is right next to mine, i had to listen to it all night while crying silently. He really made me master crying without making any sound, it did became a talent.

He started spraying it on his body, he sprays too much, literally drenches himself in perfumes and it did make me anxious. You wouldn't stand being close to him, you'll get dizzy.

But i don't mind.

"I'm sure your girl will get dizzy if you keep spraying all that." I said. "Nah, you know girls love men who smell good."

I sighed. "I know but that's way too much- wait, you're still using my perfume even after what happened?" His ex girlfriend who was practically living with us here last summer fought with him over this, she thought he was cheating and broke up with him. I don't really understand how he thinks that putting my perfume on will make him attractive.

"I love the smell, okay?"

"Ugh, put it back, i have no time to buy another these days."

"Shut up, you use my stuff too." He put it back and ran his fingers through his soft black hair. I brought my attention to his face again. "I only took a hoodie, it was an emergency and i gave it back."

"Steal anything you want, y/n, there's no other girl that will take my things." I smiled upon hearing his words. "Yet." My smile dropped. And i hoped he didn't notice the dimness on my face since i just remembered his date.

i got up and left my bed untidy, pushing the thought away to the back of my head. While passing by him I ignored how hot he was and kept my attention on my closet. Picked a basic shirt and pants. Grabbed my hair essentials as well since he doesn't look like he'll get out any time sooner. "That outfit isn't enough, it's so cold outside."

I stopped mid walking. "It's fine, i don't get cold easily." I said with bored eyes. He left the room and i put my things on my bed and closed the door. Is he mad or something or did he want to give me space to change in my own room?

I finished dressing up quickly and let my hair loose on my shoulders. I turned the handle of the door and went searching for the keys.

Did he leave already?

I let out a big sigh as i felt my eyes welling up with tears. Did he really leave that fast? Without even saying goodbye? Does he hate me? I don't really understand why i still have a crush on him at this point. It's useless, I'm wasting my emotions and time when i could be doing something better.

"So you didn't wear a jacket, here.."

Two hands put a jacket on my shoulders. I turned around and he started helping me wear it properly. "You always get so cold, i can't stand seeing you shaking." He zipped it and smiled at me. "You look cute in my jacket."

I pretended I'm fixing my 'makeup' while I'm actually wiping my eyes. "Thanks, wear a one too."

"If i wear a jacket, my date won't notice my sexy body!" He argued playfully, i smiled at his stupid reason. "You look good anyways, you don't have to show your body."

I blurted these words out and bit my lip bottom, damn, did i just let him know that i acknowledge how good he looks?

"Why don't you walk with me to the nearby restaurant?" He said, ignoring the statement i said and I'm glad he did so, he raised his eyebrows and placed a grin on his lips, he always does that face to make me say yes. "Alright." I said. I bet he noticed how uninterested i am, maybe that will make him leave me alone.

He grabbed the keys. "You've been my best friend for a long time, y/n, so i want you to see my date." Hm. That's what I'm afraid of. I don't want to have a breakdown when i meet her. I know how weak i am when it comes to handling my emotions. "You're good at reading people, that's why i need you with me, babe."

Did this man just call me babe?

I ignored that feeling in my stomach and nodded. "Let's go!" He blurted happily and skipped to the building's gate. I sighed as i watched him waiting for me to come with a smile.

I wish the reason behind that smile was me.

Skipping a few stairs, then, i walked next to him, i put my hands in my pockets to keep them warm. He was weirdly quiet, usually johnny talks a lot. And he only stops if he's eating or thinking.

So i guess he's thinking of something.

"Why are you dressed so simple." I asked when i saw his outfit. Hw wore a pair of jeans and a sweater. "My date loves simple things, she isn't into fancy stuff." I hummed and brought my attention to the stores. I remember the last time we walked together here. It was last christmas i believe, we had this tradition of taking walks in December as a friendship thing because we met each other in December.

"We arrived." His voice brought me to reality. I looked at the restaurant. It was the restaurant we ate together a lot when we started attending college. Out of all restaurants in town, did he have really have to bring her here?

Why is he quiet? I waited for him to step inside but it looks like his legs got frozen. "Aren't you going to enter?" I asked. Waiting for a response. "she's not inside..."

Is she late to the date? Who's that stupid woman anyways to be late to a date with the johnny suh? If i were her i would've arrived thirty minutes earlier. I can't believe we're freezing in cold waiting for her to come. This alone says a lot about her. But it's good, maybe this will make him uninterested.

"...she's right next to me."

Huh? What did he say?

I looked to his other side. "Nah, she's not here, dumbo."

"If anyone is dumb then it's you, y/n." I furrowed my eyebrows. "Hey, from the moment we met till now i still manage to outsmart you in every situation."

"Yeah, it's obvious." He rolled his eyes. "Are you making fun of me?"

"Yes, because the girl i like is you, y/n."

What?

Did i hear him right?

WAIT.

....

"Huh.. it doesn't make any sense, can you please speak more clearly?"

"I literally just admitted i like you.." he looked at me and stopped talking for seconds, analysing my expression. "Well. It's shocking.."

"It's not, how can someone not fall for you." He got that flirty romantic look in his eyes and i immediately looked away shyly. I can't believe the words that are coming out of his mouth. Does he really like me? And if he did, why did he tortured me all this time?

"Well, i like you too." I admitted. Still not believing the fact that we just confessed to each other, but wait, what if this is a prank?

"I know you like me." I immediately darted my attention to him. "Huh? How did you know?!" I asked in disbelief. "You were obvious, y/n, you can't really hide your emotions."

I bit my lip in embarrassment. "But I'm kinda sad you didn't notice my crush on you." He said, pretending to be sad by doing an awfully cringy aegyo expression. "Like, i literally use your perfume only! I buy you lots of things too! I even tried to get a reaction from you by bringing girls in our dorm, but still nothing. You frustrated me to be honest."

"You're frustrated? Frustration is a weak word to describe how i felt! I wanted to kill you!" He raised his eyebrows. A little too surprised at my choice of words. "Still, I'm not in the wrong." He crosses his arms. "The problem is, i was so obvious, it's not my problem you didn't know i like you."

"How am i supposed to know when you're flirting with literally everyone?" He laughed. And even though i felt annoyed every time i remember it, i couldn't help but smile upon seeing him laugh. "You sound so bothered, i promise you i won't flirt with everyone from now on."

Thinking of us dating, i was too deep in my own thoughts that i didn't realize his hands on my arms. He grabbed me by the jacket and slammed his lips on mine softly, he finally kissed me the kiss i daydreamed about. I wrapped my hands around his neck. Playing with his hair as we kiss.

"Johnny, i think people are staring." I pulled away and whispered into his lips. "Don't pay attention, we can do what we want.." he smiled at me softly "we will do what we want." He connected our lips again, this time, i kissed him with no care in the world.

"I love you, even though you're stupid as hell to the point of not getting my hints."

"Did you just call me stupid?!"

"Sorry!"

#nct 127 #nct #nct u #nct u angst #nct 127 fluff #nct imagines #nct johnny #nct reactions #nct headcanons #nct fluff #nct fanfic #nct scenarios #nct x reader

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