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#Im not linking to it because i do not want anyone going anywhere near that gofundme

infxnatum · 1 year

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Blog Info (Rules and Such)

First off, apologies for how rough this is...I’m not very good at this kind of thing. And honestly, I’m pretty chill.

Basic Info

This blog is an 18+, Multiverse, Multimuse OC Blog with a few select canon characters from other blogs. I have many characters that I’ve developed for more than half my life at this point.

The main Universe of this blog is a story I’ve written (on paper, sorry you can’t read it). And while it will be referenced regularly, very little interaction will happen there.

I interact with many fandoms, though primarily Pokemon, Helluva Boss/Hazbin Hotel, and Sonic.

And last, I am 99.9% mobile bound. I just find it easier, honestly. And because I can use it at the same time as doing just about anything else. As such, trimming is not exactly easy for me.

Rules

Do not Follow or Interact if you are under the age of 18. If you do and I find out, you will be blocked. This is a heavily nsfw blog, both for dark themes and smut. I tag things and will often readmore when I feel like I should, but I dont like the idea of minors even potentially seeing it.

The above does also include intermittent reblogging of NSFW art, though mostly artistic nudity and such. Often sensual rather than outright sexual...but sometimes the latter if I particularly enjoy a piece.

I am Selective but not mutual exclusive. I’m willing to give just about anybody a chance, but I do have limits and standards. And I do favor Mutuals over non-mutuals, as well as anyone I consider a close friend. I most often dont follow someone as a means to keep my dash clean.

I do block on site anything that even remotely seems like a bot. Super weird names, no icons alongside an empty blog. I think at this point most of us readily recognize them. So if you are interested in following, make sure you do at least the basic steps to show you are a real person.

I am pretty chill, and there’s nothing that really bothers me trigger wise. However, like many, I have no interest in drama and callouts. Keep me out of your problems, I’m here to have fun. And as someone who has suffered a lot because of false accusations and bandwagon culture...I just want to do what I do.

I can write anywhere from one liners to multi para, I do my best to match when the mood sets in. I’ll do any sort of threads, and have basically no lines (outside the obvious) to what kind of content might be involved. Smut, light violence (i.e. pokemon grade), fluffy threads, and crack are the most prominent.

I try my best to respond quickly, but muse comes and goes. I’ll draft when I dont reply, and as long as a random hiatus doesnt hit me, I should reply in a relatively good time. Please don’t bother me too much about it.

Unless otherwise specified, like something tagged for someone specific. Any ic post is free to be responded to.

I accept IMs, but only for OOC. And I don’t rp on Discord...the format just burns my brain out.

Not sure if there’s much else, rules wise that I can think of. Like I said, I’m not good at this, and I’m chill.

A little bit of mun stuff

I go by Raven, though I also accept Eclipse and Dusk as names. I am a 30+ mun, Cis-male, homosexual and mixed-ethnicity between Caucasian and Native American (a near 50/50 split).

I am autistic, have various forms of anxiety and depression, and adhd. I try my best to do what I can here, but it’s not the easiest sometimes. I have been known to go on long hiatuses and lose muses entirely for periods of time. It’s not on anyone but myself when that kind of thing happens.

I’ll be working on getting my characters moved to Posts so that I can link them better, since I know many people are mobile these days, and browser page links are iffy at best. Posts work better...when they are ready they’ll be below here. I’ll also give a list of my more important non-character tags when I’ve compiled them

----

Zenni - Main Muse, Most Active alongside Primal.

Tags: Renegade Raven [Zenni], Renegade in Hell [Goetia], Primordial Powerhouse [Primal], A Shadow’s Commentary

Aurora - Lower activity muse

Tags: Queen of Ice [Aurora], Glacial Commentary

Descartes - Relatively Active Muse

Tags: Gilded Angel [Descartes], Gilded Commentary

Anarak - Fairly Active Muse

Tags: The Living Paradox [Anarak], Quantum Commentary

Ruby - Highly active muse

Tags: R Rated Rabbit [Ruby], A Lover’s Commentary

Siegfried - Low Activity Muse

Tags: Steel Commander [Siegfried], Commanding Commentary

Glitter - Slightly Active, Pokemon OC

Tags: Silent and Sweet [Glitter], Silent Commentary

Lion and Rosebud - Divergent Lion from Steven Universe + Anthro AU (Normal and HH/HB)

Tags: Cotton Candy Caretaker [Lion], Wayward Warrior [Rosebud], Every Rose Has Its... [Thorn]

Discord - Fairly active. Canon divergent MLP muse

Osirus - Slightly Active, Pokemon Only (For Now)

Tags: The Archivist [Osirus], Gathering Information

Toril - Low Activity, Pokemon OC

Tags: Psionic Prodigy [Toril], Psionic Commentary

Lux - Low Activity, Pokemon OC, Mostly commentary

Tags: Galar’s Light [Lux]

The Twins

Damien - Helluva Boss OC

Tags: Soul Betwixt Worlds [Damien], Keeper of Balance [Neutral], Divine Adjudicator [Celestial], Heart of Hellfire [Infernal]

#information post #pinned post #important post #long post

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noodledog · 3 years

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I dont do PSAs often but in light of the recent news about the fires in BC which are absolutely devastating,

DO NOT SUPPORT THE GOFUNDME BY ROMANA DIDULO.

This woman is a QAnon conspiracy theorist who has declared herself Queen Of Canada and has sent out proclamations to stop vaccinations and shutdowns under the penalty of *execution* to many pharmacies and the like across Canada. I do not trust a single penny of this GoFundMe to go actual fire victims and even if it did it's just legitimizing a woman who's followers are potentially using this justification to intimidate and commit horrific acts. There hasnt been anything serious YET but as a Canadian myself I am extremely worried about the implications. Please find a legitimate source to donate though and NOT through her at all!!

#gofundme #bc fires #romana didulo #This woman is crazy in a way that has me genuinely scared #Im not linking to it because i do not want anyone going anywhere near that gofundme

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fraldarrius · 2 years

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really, really hate that i even have to make another post like this, i’ve been putting it off as long as i possibly can, but things are getting pretty dire again and i don’t really have a choice anymore so here we go again

basically, my mom and i are extremely broke and we’re barely staying afloat right now—i STILL haven’t been able to find a job despite looking literally every day and applying for everything that seems even remotely tolerable and won’t make me want to ✨unalive myself✨, so i’m still only getting what i get from unemployment. my mother nearly died in november from sepsis, she spent three weeks in the hospital, and after that was receiving multiple visits a week from extramural nurses since she was sent home with a picc line in her arm for meds. she’s well enough now that the picc line has been removed, but she can still barely walk (the infection that caused her sepsis originated in her foot—she’s severely diabetic, she’s already had a toe amputated because of this and nearly lost her whole foot this time) so working is out of the question, and she’s also relying on unemployment for income. neither of us are making anywhere near enough to completely cover our bills, though, we’ve both been forced to pay things late/put the absolute smallest amount of money possible on bills just so we can like, y’know, eat 🥴 because it’s winter, our power bill has been absolutely insane, like. as of the bill we got last month, it was nearly $1400, and i expect we’ll get a new bill sometime this week that will probably put it around $1600 at the very least (our power bills have been like $400 a month, and i’m pretty sure we only managed to put like $200 on it last time 💀). we are not the only people living in this house, which is why it’s so high, but we’re also the only people paying because the other people who live here are deadbeats, wastes of space, etc., not gonna get into that rn. our internet bill is also extremely high, high enough that i’m genuinely scared to check the exact amount, and i’m seriously shocked we haven’t been disconnected yet. on top of this, my mom and i both carry a lot of debt from loans/credit cards, so that eats up a shit ton of money every month that we just end up having to use again on groceries and other necessities literally because we can’t afford not to, so it’s a cycle that never ends 🥲

additionally, my unemployment runs out next month, so basically, if i haven’t found a job by then and have all the debt that i have right now, im ✨screwed✨ lmao. mom still has plenty of time left on her claim, thankfully, but if i don’t have any income we literally will not have any money to eat. i wish i was joking but i’m not. so i’m once again swallowing my pride to ask for help, because i don’t have any other choice—if anyone is able to help us out at all, we will be so beyond grateful. anything i receive will go toward our bills and to paying down some of the balances on my credit cards so that, if i’m unable to find a job before my unemployment runs out or soon after, i’ll at least be able to keep us fed.

i know this is tumblr and most of us are broke as hell, so please, please do not feel bad if you’re unable to donate anything—all i ask is that you reblog this to hopefully get some more eyes on it, because that’s super helpful in its own way.

i’m going to make a separate post with links to ways y’all can donate, since tumblr loves to hide posts that have links in them from search results 🙄 i’ll pin it so that no one has to go searching for it

thank you in advance, we’ll literally appreciate any help more than any of you know 🥺

#mutual aid #donation post #financial aid #financial hardship #financial assistance #signal boost #literally so fucking embarrassing that i have to keep doing this 🥲#but mentally this has been so fucking hard on my mom and i #im still waiting on my starbucks t4 but once that comes i’m going to get my taxes done and hopefully i’ll get a decent return #but i can’t bank on that happening. i need to have a contingency plan #shush sar

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kilibaggins · 3 years

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I Like Murphy, Too

Murphy x Clarke x Bellamy fic (Mostly Murphamy If I’m Being Honest)

Ao3 Link: HERE

Request: Not Requested!

Prompt: “Person A falls for both person B and person C but B and C hate each other”

Summary: Clarke Griffin is polyamorous, Bellamy knew this when they first started dating. What Bellamy didn't know though, is that when it came down to it, John Murphy is the other man she likes.

A/N: This is the longest Fic i have ever written. It’s the reason I got behind and im not fics behind on my april challenge im doing lol. I hope you enjoy??

Setting: Peaceful Arkadia AU

Warnings: Death of Murphy's parents is mentioned, Alcohol, and i think that’s it?

Word Count: 6009

Tags: @lovelessdyke @ultimatereyesstan

~~~

“You what?” Bellamy asks, looking at Clarke surprised. Clarke shakes her head softly and sighs. She quickly latches the button on her pants.

“I like Murphy, too.” Clarke says, putting on her jacket. Bellamy slips on his shirt and scoffs.

“Seriously?” Bellamy asks, and Clarke crosses her arms and looks at him.

“Look, I told you I’m poly when we first got together. I told you this might happen.” Clarke says, and Bellamy throws his arms up.

“Yeah! But I thought it would be like, Raven or Someone else, not Murphy!“ Bellamy exclaims, plopping down on the bed. Clarke sighs and shakes her head.

“Your issue is with who I like?” Clarke asks, walking forward. Bellamy looks up at her, his shoulder obviously tense. She brings her hand to his face and cups it.

“I don’t like him.” Bellamy grounds out, and Clarke sighs. She steps back and grabs her gun holster from the top of her dresser.

“That’s because you won’t give him a chance.” She says, walking over to the other side of the room, where her boots lay. She grabs them and walks over to the bed. She sits down and starts putting them on.

“Listen, you know i'm supportive of you, and heck if it was anyone else I’d probably be happy, but Murphy isn’t good.” Bellamy says, his voice low. Clarke sighs and gets up.

“Did you know he’s been working with my mother in the med bay?” Clarke asks, going to the little bathroom that is connected to their room. Bellamy gets up and followers her into it, watching as she grabs her toothbrush. “Or that he’s been helping Monty at the gardens? Or that he’s been helping Miller and Brian get along? Or that he’s been-”

“Okay, okay I get it.” Bellamy says, grabbing his toothbrush as well, pushing Clarke slightly to the side. Clarke grabs the toothpaste, and Bellamy takes it from her hand before she can use it. She glares up at him through the mirror and Bellamy hides a smile.

“Do you really? Because he’s not bad. He’s misunderstood.” Clarke says, letting Bellamy give her back the toothpaste. Bellamy Sighs and starts brushing.

Bellamy brushes for a second, before pulling out the tooth brush and spitting into the sink “Listen, he killed two kids.” Bellamy says, and Clarke raises an eyebrow.

“Okay? And we killed all of the mountain men.” Clarke says, putting her tooth brush in. Bellamy sighs.

“That’s different. We did it for an actual reason.” Bellamy says, going to brush his teeth more. Clarke spits out some toothpaste and sighs exasperated.

“He had his own reasons too!” Clarke says, grabbing the cup next to the sink and putting water in it. She takes some into her mouth and spits out the rest of the toothpaste. She always brushes way faster than him, he hates it because it gives her more time to talk during these morning discussions they regularly have.

“Yeah, like revenge. How is that anything similar to why we did what we did?” Bellamy asks, now spitting out his toothpaste again. He grabs the cup and rinses out his mouth, before following Clarke out of the bathroom.

“He did it to save himself. He was scared, Bellamy. Have you even bothered to ask about how he felt?” Clarke asks, grabbing a few more things from her dresser drawer. Bellamy sighs and opens his drawer to grab a few of his own things.

“Listen, I can’t stop you from liking him, Hell, even being with him, but I’m not going to like it. I don’t want anywhere near him.” Bellamy says, and Clarke Grabs his arm before he can walk away.

“Bell, please.” Clarke says softly. Bellamy lets her grab his hand and She looks up into his eyes. “Please, Bell. I want this to work. I want you and him to get along.” She says.

“That’s never going to happen.” Bellamy says, taking his hand away.

“At least try. Come to lunch with us today.” Clarek says, and Bellamy sighs. He looks to the ground and then back up at Clarke, her eyes wide and begging. He feels his stubborn-ness give and he sighs softly.

“Okay, fine, I’ll have lunch with you, two.” Bellamy says, and Clarke smiles widely. She jumps forward and kisses him softly, and Bellamy smiles into the kiss.

“Thank you, Bell.” Clarke says, her voice filled with love.

“Anything for you, Princess.”

During the day, Before Clarke went in to get her job done, she stopped by to tell Murphy about everything. Murphy wasn’t surprised that Bellamy didn’t trust thim, If he was being honest he barely even trusted Bellamy, but for Clarke he’ll try anything. And if that means along the way he and Bellamy get closer, then he might as well try. So, he agreed to join them.

A few hours later, Bellamy and Clarke are sitting at a table in Arkadia’s eating area, they both have their plates, and drinks, and are eating as they talk about the day.

“Murphy should be here by now.” Bellamy says, taking a bit of his food. He brings his head back up and looks at Clarke. Clarke grabs her napkin and brings it up to wipe at a spot on his lip where some food stayed. He smiles softly at her, “Thanks.”

“He’s probably just running a little late.” Clarke says, putting down her napkin and taking a bite herself.

“He probably decided to ditch us.” Bellamy snarks, taking a drink of his water. Clarke sighs and puts down her fork.

“He wouldn’t do that.” Clarke says, looking at Bellamy with a serious expression.

“Ah, right, because the guy who was a juvenile delinquent wouldn’t skip out on lunch.” Bellamy snarks, and then a voice comes from behind them.

“Yeah, uh, sorry. Miller came in with a cut the size of my hand on his side. I had to patch him up.” Clarke looks behind her to see Murphy standing there, looking at Bellamy with a look that tells her this will not be easy. She jumps up and kisses him on the cheek. “Hey.” He says, smiling at her, like she can make his day go from a nightmare, to a daydream. Bellamy gets that. She always cheers him up at the end of the day. Clarke grabs his hand and pulls him over to the table.

“Sorry, we kind of started without you.” Clarke says, sitting in her spot. Murphy sits next to her, on the opposite side of where Bellamy is sitting, and sighs softly, happy to be sitting down for the first time in a few hours.

“It’s fine, Clarke. You didn’t know when I’d get here.” Murphy says, raising his hand so a guy who will come get his order can see him. He always tries to give them extra help whenever he can, when he’s off work he sometimes comes in and works with them.

“Heya Murphy! The usual?” The server asks, and Murphy nods softly. The server walks away, and Murphy looks to Clarke and sighs.

“Hard day?” Clarke asks, genuinely worried.

“Yeah, a lot of people are getting hurt lately.” Murphy says, shrugging as if it’s not too much for him. Honestly, when he agreed to work with Abby, he was happy to do it. It was good for him to feel useful, and to help people. But now it’s too much sometimes. The blood gets sickening sometimes, especially when it stains his hands.

“And you’re worried about how much work you have to do?” Bellamy asks, his eyebrow raised. Clarke glares at him softly and his his leg under the table. Murphy sighs and looks down at the table. “I obviously care about them, Bellamy, or else I wouldn’t be doing it in the first place.” Murphy grounds out, trying to keep his voice calm. Bellamy has no idea what he goes through every day, or how much work he does, or anything like that. He has no right to assume all he cares about is how much time he has to work. As much as Murphy would like to cuss Bellamy out, the warmth coming from Clarke is enough to keep him grounded. He's doing this for her.

“Anyway! How has your day been?” Clarke asks, grabbing Bellamy’s hand. Murphy lets his gaze linger on the touch before smiling softly. He’s happy when Clarke can get love, in any form she does. As much as he is hesitant of Bellamy, he knows Bellamy will take care of her.

“It’s been okay. I’ve had to yell at a few people, keep them in their lane.” Belamy says, taking a bite of his food, that Clarke had forgotten existed. She feels bad eating while Murphy sits there without anything.

“Here, have a bite.” Clark says, pushing her food towards him. Murphy smiles and does as he’s told, knowing that Clarke will probably take his head off if he refuses to eat. Clarke looks around them for a moment before looking back at Bellamy, who is staring at Murphy. She sighs and kicks him under the table and gives him a look. Bellamy makes a face that Clarke knows to mean “What?!?” and Clarke glares at him.

“You guys do this often?” Murphy asks, pointing a finger between them.

“Do what?” Bellamy snaps, before taking a deep breath and calming himself. “Do what?” He asks softer this time.

“Talk with your faces.” Murphy says, a small smirk on his lips. He looks at Clarke and laughs when she blushes.

“Also, Bellamy, can you stop staring at me? I’d appreciate it. I mean, unless you’re appreciating my god given good looks.” Murphy continues and Clarke laughs and bumps into him with her shoulder. Bellamy feels his cheeks heat up despite himself and he looks back at his food, his jaw tight. Murphy sees this and back tracks a bit. “Look, man, I was just joking, sorry.” He says, pushing Clarke’s food away from him, and back to her. He reaches forward and steals Clarke’s water and takes a sip.

“Murphy!” The server says, walking over and giving him his food. Murphy smiles and nods at him.

“Thanks, how about later I help you with that shoulder? You said it's been bothering you.” Murphy says, taking his food and looking at it with excitement. He has always liked food, especially after working in the medbay.

“Really? It’s been really bugging me, it makes me slower to work.” The server says, giving him his cup and pouring water in it.

“Dude, of course. Come by the med bay after your shift.” Murphy says, trying not to think about how busy he already is. He always just keeps adding on.

“Great!” The server says, before walking off. Murphy grabs his fork and starts eating before he notices Clarke is smiling at him.

“What?” Murphy says, a smile on his face.

“I love when you help people.” Clarke says softly. Murphy smiles and feels his cheeks heat up.

“Yeah, yeah, eat it all up.” Murphy jokes, and takes a drink of his own water.

“How much do you work?” Bellamy asks, looking at Murphy. Murphy puts down his cup and messes with his hair.

“Well, I have multiple jobs. Different jobs, different days. I have the medbay, which is what I am doing today, Where I work from 7 am to 8 pm. I have a lunch break between that, as you can see right now, and I have a few other short 10 minute breaks in between.” Murphy starts to explain, and Bellamy puts down his fork to listen better. Clarke smiles, knowing that listening is one of Bellamy’s ways to show he cares. “I work at the gardens with Monty on some days, those days are more laid back. Monty doesn’t expect me to do much. Usually I just water some plants, sometimes I gather stuff. And most other days I just pick up whatever job I can to help. There’s a lot of miscellaneous jobs.” Murphy explains,taking another drink. Bellamy nods, and watching Murphy swallow the water, and he looks down at his plate and clears his throat, embarrassed at himself for watching him like that.

“So you do a lot?” Bellamy asks, and Murphy just nods and eats his food.

They sit in silence for a while, before Murphy looks at his watch and sighs heavily.

“Time to go?” Clarke asks, and Murphy nods, taking the last few bites of his food, and taking the last gulps of his drink. He gets up and stretches. Clarke Gets up and hugs him tight.

“Go save some lives.” Clarke smiles, and pushes at his shoulder. Murphy smirks and grabs his cup and plate.

“You can leave those here, the server will come and grab it.” Bellamy says, looking up at Murphy from his spot.

“Oh, I take it up for them, it makes their lives easier.” Murphy says, smiling. He then kisses Clarke on the cheek, and turns away quickly, feeling Bellamy’s eyes burn a hole in his skull. He knows Bellamy is hesitant about him being with Clarke, and if he is assuming right, he thinks he’s also a bit jealous. He walks up and gives his plate and cup to the people near the food and they smile gratefully at him.

Clarke watches him leave and sighs sadly. She sits back down and smiles at Bellamy.

“I guess it's just us for a little bit.” Clarke says, grabbing Bellamy’s hand. Bellamy squeezes her hand and brings it to his lips kissing it softly.

“Finally.” He mumbles and Clarke sighs and takes her hand away.

“Why are you like this? Why can’t you just try to be nice about him? I care about him Bellamy, and I’m trying to get you two to get along. Murphy is obviously trying. He had less of a problem with this than you did. Why can’t you just try?” Clarke asks, looking at him with sadness in her eyes. Bellamy sighs and sits back in his seat, crossing his arms.

“He’s a delinquent!” Bellamy says, gesturing towards the place where Murphy had left from. Clarke shakes her head and sighs, she gets up and grabs her plate and cup.

“I think you forget that I was too.” Clarke says, before walking off. Bellamy watches her leave, and thinks about things for a minute.

She’s right, he knows she is. It’s not right of him to give every other delinquent a chance but then not give Murphy one. It’s just hard for him. He cares a lot about Clarke,and he doesn’t want her to get hurt, and he doesn’t trust Murphy. And now, in his anger towards Murphy, he has hurt Clarke. He shakes his head and gets up, leaving his plate and cup on the table.

Two weeks later, after Bellamy being invited to lunches and enjoying his time more than he’d like to admit, he caves. He goes to Murphy’s room, and knocks on the door, waiting for Murphy to open the door.

Murphy opens the door, his chest bare and his hair a mess, Bellamy notices he looks tired. Bellamy accident stares too long at Murphy’s chest, looking at all of the scars there, and Murphy notices, and Looks down at himself before his eyes widen and his cheeks flush and he closes the door. Bellamy is about to leave after blowing it, before the door opens again, and reveals Murphy, who threw on a shirt.

“Uh, sorry I just-”

“What do you want?” Murphy cuts him off, not wanting to have a conversation about his scars. It’s already something he hates about himself, he doesn’t need anyone to bring them up after staring at them.

“I just- Okay, I know we don’t get along that much, mostly because of myself, but still, and I was wondering if you’d like to… I don’t know, hang out or something? Just the two of us” Bellamy asks, and Murphy’s eyes widen and his lip quirks up in a small smile. “Maybe we could go outside the gates, or maybe sit by the fire and have a drink, or something.” Bellamy continues and Murphy nods.

“Sure, I’d be happy to.” Murphy says, no sarcasm coming from his lips. Bellamy is surprised but smiles.

“Cool! Cool, uh, do you want to meet up, or should I come here at a certain time, or?” Bellamy asks and Murphy smiles.

“Uh, can we do it tomorrow, today’s kind of… Not the best day.” Murphy says, and Bellamy feels his heart drop, realizing he’s probably just trying to get out of it.

“We don’t have to do it at all if you don’t want to, all you have to do is say no.” Bellamy says,his voice slightly defensive. Murphy’s eyes drop in confusion and he shakes his head.

“No, No, I want to I just-”

“Whatever, it’s obvious you don’t want to, I’ll just go.” Bellamy says, before walking away. By the time Murphy cna open his mouth again to say something, he’s already down the hall and Murphy sighs sadly. Murphy closes the door and plops down on the bed. He takes off his shirt, and lays back down, covering himself up before letting out a long breath as his sore back hit the mattress. Yesterday had been bad, he had accidentally pulled something in his back, and he had refused to do anything about it until he broke down crying while helping Monty in the Garden. Monty had taken him to Abby, and Abby had told him he had to take today off, and stay in bed. That’s why he didn’t want to go out with Bellamy tonight. He sighs and tries to get himself to sleep again, even though the pain in his back is still pulling at him. He groans and wipes a hand over his face, realizing that this probably ruined any chance he had at Bellamy getting closer to him.

“Great.” Murphy says to the open, and empty air around him. Hopefully Bellamy doesn’t tell Clarke about this.

Bellamy walks into his and Clarke’s shared bedroom, storming over to the dresser and throwing off his jacket. He throws the jacket over a chair, and strips his holster off.

“Murphy doesn’t want to go out with me.” Bellamy says to Clarke, who just watched him storm in. Clarke raises an eyebrow at him.

“What do you mean?” Clarke asks, closing her book and putting it on the bedside stand. Bellamy huffs and slips off his shoes.

“I asked him to go out, so we could bond, and He doesn’t want to!” Bellamy says exasperatedly. He sighs sadly and Plops down on his side of the bed, turning away from Clarke. Clarke sighs softly and sits behind him, bringing her hands up to massage at his shoulders.

“Are you sure he doesn’t want to?” Clarke asks, and Bellamy looks down at his hands.

“He said he didn’t want to tonight.” Bellamy says softly. He wouldn’t admit it to Murphy, but he was hurt. He wanted this to go well. He wants to be closer to Murphy, and not just for Clarke.

“Well how do you know it doesn’t just mean tonight?” Clarke asks.

“Because why wouldn’t he be able to tonight? What’s stopping him from going out with me tonight? He had today off, tonight too, That’s why I asked him, and we’ve been getting closer the past two weeks!” Bellamy says, his tone harsh. He doesn’t want to be mean about this, but His feelings are hurt. He really doesn’t understand why Murphy wouldn’t want to go out with him. Clarke and said he was willing to try with him, and now he just decided not to be?

“I don’t know, but don’t just assume he doesn’t want to. I know Murphy, he’s been talking about you for a while now. He wants to be close to you.” Clarke says, trying to reassure Bellamy. Bellamy shrugs and sighs.

“I’m just tired, I should just sleep.” Bellamy says, and Clarke nods, letting him lay down. Clarke lays next to him, and pulls him so his head is on her chest. He sighs softly and smiles.

“Night Princess.”

In the morning, Murphy wakes up, and he still feels a dull ache in his back. He grabs the pain pills and takes them, not bothering to grab water. He slips his boots on, and thinks about Bellamy. He wants to be with Bellamy too. He wants their relationship to be good, and he’s scared he may have ruined it all last night. He sighs sadly and slips on a new shirt and pants. Today he will go to Bellamy and explain everything, even if it makes him late for work. Abby will probably just think it’s because of his back or something.

Murphy opens his door, and walks out of it, and starts walking to the guard’s building. He knows Bellamy works today, and he knows he has probably already started. He sighs and starts to walk faster, in his haste he almost runs into someone and apologizes over his shoulder.

He makes it to the guards building and just walks in, not caring about policy. He’s been practicing what he was going to say, and at this point he thinks it’s just better to be straight forward and just say exactly what he wants to. He sees Bellamy across the room and walks straight over, not caring about the people staring at him. Bellamy looks up and quickly sits up seeing Murphy there.

“I pulled my back yesterday, so I couldn’t go out with you. But I can tonight. 8 pm? Come to my room? sit by the fire and have that drink you were talking about.” Murphy rushes out, and Bellamy laughs softly.

“So I just... Completely misunderstood you?” Bellamy asks and Murphy nods. “Yup. Anyways, I’m going to be late for work, So I’ve got to go, but pick me up at 8, huh?” Murphy says, and Bellamy smiles.

“Yeah, sure Murphy, I’d love to.” Bellamy says, and Murphy node awkwardly, before turning around and walking away. Bellamy smiles to himself and Gets ready for the day. He can’t wait for tonight.

10 hours later, after a boring and uneventful day at work, Bellamy is ready to have some fun. He goes to his room, and does something with his hair that nobody understands. Everyone assumes he does something to it, but all he does is put some water on his hands and fluff around his hair a bit. He grabs a nice shirt, Not something too nice, since he doesn’t have that luxury, but something that doesn’t look horrible. He freshens up quickly, splashing his face with water changes into his new clothes he picked out. He smiles at himself in the mirror, and he quickly realizes that he’s excited. He’s excited to go out with Murphy, and he’s not sure if he wants to analyze that fact or not.

He quickly gives Clarke a peck on the lips and runs out their door, realizing he’s late. It’s his first date-but-is-it-really with Murphy, and he’s already late. He quickly, but not quickly enough to make it obvious that he;s rushed, goes down the many halls to Murphy’s room. When he gets there, he’s surprised to see Murphy just entering his room.

“Oh sh-” Murphy cuts himself off, dropping his key. He sighs and picks it up. “Sorry! Someone came in with a huge migraine and couldn’t do anything until they got meds, and I was the one who had to search through the bottles to find something this guy wasn’t allergic to. Seriously, I don’t even understand how he’s still alive on Earth, He’s allergic to almost everything.” Murphy says, laughing softly. Bellamy feels himself smile and finds the story sweet. The Murphy he used to know would never spend his time doing that for someone.

“That’s nice of you.” Bellamy says, and Murphy looks up at him with a smile.

“Yeah, I mean I’m happy to do it, He’s a good guy.” Murphy says, walking into his room which he just now got open. Murphy calls out to him from the inside, “You can come in! It’s kind of a mess, but It’s not too bad.” Bellamy hesitantly walks to the doorway and looks into the room, tilting his head. The room isn't as bad as Murphy made it out to be, but it still wasn't clean either. There are clothes strung about the room, and it looks like the bed was just rolled out of. looks into the room, tilting his head. The room isn't as bad as Murphy made it out to be, but it still wasn't clean either. There are clothes strung about the room, and it looks like the bed was just rolled out of.

“It’s not too bad.” Bellamy observes, watching as Murphy goes to his dresser and quickly grabs out clothes. Murphy picks out his outfit, and walks to the bathroom.

“I’m going to change, go ahead and sit on the end I guess.” Murphy says, shrugging. He smiles and walks into the bathroom, quickly getting ready. Bellamy finds himself standing in the middle of the room; he looks at the things on Murphy’s bedside table and smiles. He grabs the book there, reading the title. He sees that it’s Lord Of The Rings, he smiles and tries to remember the plot. He knows it has to do with a ring, an unlikely hero, and a quest with friends, but he’s not sure what happens during it. He opens the book, and looks at the bookmark. It’s a picture of a young man and woman, and a young boy is next to them. It looks like the woman’s face was once crossed out with a marker, but the marker has been scratched at, and he frowns at it. He picks up the picture and flips it over and the back says ‘The Murphy’s’ and he feels his heart break. He hears the door open behind him and he jumps, almost dropping the book and losing Murphy’s spot before catching himself. Murphy freezes when he sees what he’s doing, and winces slightly.

“I said you could sit on the bed, not look through my things.” He half jokes, walking forward and taking the book and picture from his hands and puts the picture back how it was. He puts the book down and turns to the dresser, grabbing his knife from it’s spot. When he made it to Arkadia, he made a new one, since his old one had disappeared in the chaos. He puts the knife in it’s sput on his belt, and turns to Bellamy.

“I’m sorry, I just… I like books, and I wanted to see what you were reading.” Bellamy says, “And then… that kind of turned into me looking at your bookmark.” Bellamy says, his voice dropping. Murphy shrugs.

“Oh well, It’s not like people don’t know I had a family, Bell.” Murphy says, and starts to walk out the door. “Now come on, you have a drink you owe me.” Murphy says, a smile pulling at his features. Bellamy shakes his head and laughs following him out the door. Murphy pulls it shut, and makes sure it’s locked before they walk towards the firepits.

They make it to the fire pits, and Murphy sits down on one of the logs surrounding it. And looks up at Bellamy.

“Drink?” He asks, and Bellamy nods.

“I’ll get you a drink, relax, sit back and watch the fire or something.” Bellamy says, turning around and heading to where Monty is serving his moonshine. Murphy sighs softly and looks up at the sky instead, feeling the cold air go against his face. He hears Bellamy come back, and he opens his eyes to see Bellamy with two cups in his hands.

“Oh thank God, I need a drink.” Murphy says, reaching out. Bellamy chuckles and hands it to him; he sits down and watches as Murphy takes a drink. The moonlight and the fire both create a glow to Murphy, a glow that would be described as magical in the books he read as a kid. He can’t help to think of Murphy as magical in this moment. A kid who grows up with everyone against him, yet now he’s helping everyone by being a doctor?

“I’ve heard you’re a good doctor.” Bellamy says, watching Murphy as he looks at him with happiness.

“Yeah?” Murphy asks, his mouth upturned in a large smile.

“Yeah, I’ve been asking people about you recently…” Bellamy says, before he can stop himself, he sighs realizing how embarrassing that is. “Sorry, I just… After Clarke told me about you, I was very hesitant, and I wanted to know more about you.” Bellamy says.

“Yeah, I know… I’m not the best guy in the world.” Murphy says, looking at the fire in front of him. The flames light up his face, and Bellamy can’t help but think he’s beautiful. He doesn’t know when his thoughts about Murphy went from annoyed, to thinking he’s beautiful. Maybe it was the way Clarke has been talking about him, and explaining why she liked him the way she does.

“You aren’t the worst, either.” Bellamy admits, and Murphy feels himself smile wider.

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I’m good enough.” Murphy says softly, his voice barely above a whisper. Bellamy frowns and shakes his head, moving closer to Murphy’s side. Their thighs rub next to each other, and their shoulders bump.

“I-” Bellamy hesitates before speaking, “Look, I’m just overprotective. I worry about Clarke. I don’t want her being with someone who will hurt her. I would be worried no matter who it was, but because of our…” He trails off and gestures vaguely, “History, I’m a bit more hesitant with you.”

"I think I love her, Bell.” Murphy says, confidence in his voice. There’s no ‘think’ to it. He knows he loves her. He closes his eyes and pictures how her lips feel on his cheek, and how the feeling of her hand in his makes him feel. He can picture her smile while he’s alone, and it always cheers him up. It always keeps him going. Bellamy nods and takes a drink from his moonshine, feeling the liquid burn hsi throat slightly. Murphy’s is almost gone already, it’s obvious he’s had a hard time recently.

“I love her, too.” Bellamy says, and Murphy laughs softly. They sit there for a few minutes before Murphy randomly starts talking. Bellamy figures out quickly that he’s just randomly speaking about everything. The color of the sky, the way the trees move, it’s all subjects of Murphy’s rambling and Bellamy finds it endearing.

“Do you ever think of life up there? Do you miss it?” Bellamy asks randomly, interrupting Murphy from his rant about the chancellor. Murphy pauses for a moment, not sure how to answer.

“I think about it, but I don’t miss it. I hated it up there.” Murphy says, and Bellamy looks at him puzzled.

“After everything that’s happened to you down here, you still like it more than up there? Why?” Bellamy asks, and Murphy looks up.

“Up there, it was… Suffocating. I couldn’t get away from anything. I couldn’t get away from the people, the guards, the chancellor, the memories, they were all there. When I walked down the hall to school every day I’d see the airlock chamber and remember my dad dying for me. When I’d look at any door of any room, I’d remember running through the door to find my mom, dying on the floor. I-” He breaks himself off and he sighs. “I hate tight spaces. Always have, and That thing up there? That was the tightest spot. I hate not having control over myself, but up there every single thing I did was stared at and picked at. I was forced to be something I’m not.” Murphy rants, and Bellamy listens, putting a hand on his thigh to calm him down. He had started yelling, and that gained the attention for a few other people.

“And Here? What’s good about here?” Bellamy asks, wanting to know how Murphy feels.

“I’m free. I’m able to eat when I’m hungry, and I’m able to work a good job! I’m able to help people here, when up there I was useless. Down here there’s a possibility for so much more! I can have two kids if I’d want to, and It’ll be okay! I can get medicine for myself when I’m hurt or sick, and I can live.” Murphy says, and Bellamy nods. “My dad… He dreamed of this place. He dreamed of being able to Touch the ground, to touch the leaves… And If this is where he always wanted to be, then obviously it;s better than that piece of junk that used to be in the sky. Up there I wanted to be a doctor, but I wasn’t smart enough. I never was. Here, Abby gave me a chance, and Now I get to save people. You want to know the real, 100% reason all of this is worth it?” Murphy asks, and Bellamy nods. “Clarke… I would have never met Clarke. I would have never met her and gotten this close to her. I would have never met you...” Murphy finishes, and by the time he’s done he’s looking at Bellamy with such a wild look in his eyes.

Bellamy doesn’t understand what’s happening to him, or why he feels so connected to Murphy in this moment, but before he can stop himself he’s surging forward, and connecting their lips. Bellamy grab’s Murphy’s arms and Moves him so he’s facing him, and stradling the log they’re on. Murphy wraps his arms around Bellamy’s neck,and lets him pull him as close as possible, not worrying about the world around them. Murphy pulls back his breath heavy and a huge smile on his face.

“What was that for?” Murphy asks, a wide smile on his face. Bellamy rests his forehead on Murphy’s, and takes a deep breath. He’s not sure how to explain it. He doesn’t know what made him do that, what made him make the choice to kiss the guy he has hated for so long, but recently he just… Hasn’t hated him. The way Murphy has proven himself to be good, the way he cares so deeply for Clarke that everything he has gone through has been worth it, just to meet and fall for her, it all hits him way too hard. And the fact Murphy includes him in that, Murphy includes him in the good he has found on this nightmare of a planet, and Bellamy feels happier about that than he has felt about anything ever.

“Was meeting me really worth the pain?” Bellamy asks, suddenly questioning it. Murphy pulls back a bit and nods.

“Of course. I mean yeah, we haven’t gotten along much in the past, but for the past two weeks, we’ve been getting closer. That’s why you asked me to come, right? Because we’ve been closer?” Murphy asks, and Bellamy smiles.

“Yeah I just… I didn't think I meant that much to you, I thought I was just… Clarke’s boyfriend to you.” Bellamy says, and Murphy cups hsi cheek.

“You could never be ‘just’ anything, Bellamy.” Murphy says, leaning forward and connecting their lips once more. Bellamy pulls back for a second and looks into Murphy’s eyes.

“Come on.” He says, and gets up, pulling himself away from Murphy. Murphy looks up at him in confusion.

“What? Where are we going.” Murphy asks, confused. Bellamy smirks down at him.

“I think Clarke and I have room for one more.” Bellamy says, changing his smirk to a small smile. He puts out his hand and Murphy looks at him in shock before smiling widely. He takes Bellamy’s hand.

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sakuatsu · 4 years

Note

YELL 2 ME ABT SAKUATSU FIC RECS PLS

oh boy. oh boy do i have much to talk about

here’s a list of my sakuatsu must-reads under the cut! complete with links, word count, ratings, and occasional commentary because i’m incapable of shutting up. this isn’t in any particular order either

(keeping this sfw and organized into canonverse/AUs. a * means i am on my hands and knees begging for you to read this)

i’ll try to update this somewhat regularly :]

most recently updated august 25, 2020!

canonverse:

*your highs and lows (series) by astroeulogy

a post-time skip canonverse series born from these two questions:

1. what if sakusa kiyoomi, known too-blunt jerk, is equally straightforward about his soft, tender feelings?

2. what if miya atsumu, resident big fat jerk who doesn't care if his teammates hate him, is too emotionally stunted to notice when his one of his teammates actually likes him?

this is like the sakuatsu series but it’s blasphemous to not recommend. the first fic in the series is all that you were (4.6k, T). mind the ratings on a few of the fics, but my personal favorite is #3: a masterpiece of domesticity called you have tamed me (5.7k, T). these make me ACHE

*sakuatsu domesticity simulator by pseudoanalytics (T)

a vaguely interactive mixture of fic, art, and html, where you too can experience the inherent romance of a big fat jerk and a too-blunt jerk attempting intimacy

this fic...this fic...op is literally one of my favorite artists of all time but Did You Know that their writing is also off the charts. what a wonderful use of second person and the pacing is so good. too much skill in one person

*The MSBY Black Jackals Read Thirst Tweets by isaksara (11.4k, M)

Sakusa’s eyes are very dark naturally, sucking in all surrounding rays of light and crushing them in his pupils. For an athlete, he is rather pale. His lips look very pink in comparison. Atsumu is suddenly catastrophically aware that in this instance, ‘accent’ is a euphemism. “Good enough for your Olympic-size ego, Miya?”

(In which Atsumu realizes that he is attracted to Sakusa Kiyoomi in the most inconvenient way possible.)

i think this is the fic that got me into sakuatsu in the first place lol i was looking very specifically for msby socmed fics and now here we are. this fic is unbelievably funny

*liminal spaces by hhatsuna (25.9k, T)

Fuck you, Atsumu thinks, pointing at the pixelated Sakusa in the grainy team photo on his bedside table.

It’s easier than you’d think to ignore loving your teammate.

*Better For Us Both by abrandnewheart (15.7k, M)

Where “You already make me the happiest guy alive, babe," gives way to, “I’ve not been happy for a while now.”

Alternatively known as the ‘mug fic’.

yes this is a breakup fic. yes im going to recommend it anyway. breakup fics usually scare me a lot but this one is too good for me to not say anything about. nuanced and delicious. i look at the mug on my desk and feel pain

dog eat dog eat dog world by perennials (8.4k, T)

You are your first and only line of defense against the universe.

Koi no Yokan; 恋の予感 by ymra (15.3k, unrated)

Wherein Sakusa dreams of his future selves and discovers a little something along the way.

autumn ends, but we remain by wolfsbvne (5.3k, T)

atsumu stares at his ceiling at 2am. he stares until he can make out designs in his popcorn ceiling. a cat there, an onigiri here, and then something that suspiciously looks like a mop of hair, triangle eyebrows, and oh those two bumps are moles right above what atsumu just mapped out as an eye.

(or, atsumu is in kind of in love. sakusa is maybe in like.)

your fingertips, branding irons by Ceryna (5.8k, T)

Between the accidental touches he's reconciled, the deliberate ones he's endured, and, from those he's built years of trust with, obliged– Kiyoomi has never wanted to let someone indulge.

Never, until Atsumu.

take what’s yours and make it mine by claudusdiei (5.9k, T)

atsumu falls in love four times in his life

(or: in which atsumu gets his heart broken twice, has the self-awareness of a sober mule and really likes yellow tulips)

every action has an equal and opposite reaction by akanemnida (10.4k, T)

Miya Atsumu gets a modeling contract with Calvin Klein, which sets Kiyoomi's heart in motion.

(Or: Sakusa Kiyoomi realizes that the rules governing the universe are absolute rubbish at explaining matters of the heart.)

*where i want to be by tookumade (8.8k, G)

In the time they’ve been teammates at the MSBY Black Jackals, Sakusa has never been to Atsumu’s place, and Atsumu has only been to Sakusa’s a few times. There’s an unspoken understanding here: that Atsumu knows him well enough to know that nobody’s house or apartment would ever really meet his ridiculously high standards, and he is most comfortable in the home he’s made for himself.

That, and, Atsumu being over at Sakusa’s means that he has to host him and do the cleaning afterwards, while Atsumu can just flit off back to his own place. So. There’s that.

Tonight. Tonight is not business as usual. Tonight is not familiar.

*san'yō expressway, 6:17 pm by yamabato (8.1k, T)

Atsumu tilts his head to watch a slice of orange light bend over the impassive planes of Sakusa’s face. He is absolutely, ruthlessly beautiful. It makes Atsumu want to punch something—put his foot through the windshield—scream, maybe.

Kiss him again, maybe.

They have 344 kilometers to figure this one out.

parallax error: angle of inclination by min_mintobe (10.8k, T)

But now there's the one person Atsumu'd promised himself never to touch. His eyes leave Atsumu breathless with guilt at seventeen, and he spends the next six years safe in the satisfaction of making things right.

Feelings, of the physical kind, and one kiss.

ft. competitive spirit, childishness, and late night conversations.

Atsumu POV.

four leaf clover by vicari_us (5.9k, T)

Once, Ushijima claimed that they ‘got lucky’. If properly honed, their body types could become near invincible weapons.

However, unlike Ushijima, Kiyoomi’s weapon required a bit more care over the years to reach the condition it had become. He was born iron, not yet forged into steel.

Exploring what it might have taken to turn a genetic mistake into an athletic miracle.

*the 28 postcards you left me by wheelspokes (8.3k, T)

Atsumu takes texting your ex to a new level by sending Sakusa postcards in Animal Crossing instead.

such a unique premise & this is so beautifully structured. stunning flow and who knew animal crossing could convey so much longing...

AUs:

Pas De Deux by hhatsuna (dancer!sakusa au: 19.0k, T)

The mystery athlete gives Kiyoomi a once over in the mirror. “Yer pretty tall,” he observes, and the twang of an accent rasps low in his throat. His brazen eyes drift to Kiyoomi’s legs, and something like exhilaration glints gold in his gaze. “Good quads, too. Ya ever played volleyball?” Ah. So it’s volleyball.

“I’m a dancer. Ballet and contemporary, mostly.”

*my love, take your time by bastigod (archaeologist!sakusa au: 9.0k, T)

There was something sublime about wandering around an empty museum. Nothing could compare to the sound of his shoes clacking against the marble floor, the morning sunlight gently streaming through the lofty windows and the peaceful solitude of ancient stone kings overseeing their silent kingdoms.

A day in the life of Doctor Kiyoomi Sakusa, Archaeologist.

i’ve literally been thinking about this fic every day since it came out. you will not find a story like this anywhere else, i guarantee you. what a clear labor of love this fic is it’s truly something so special

three roses and a smile by strawberrycitrus (surgeon!sakusa & microbiologist!atsumu au: 19.7k, T)

“I just got this job, I’m not givin’ it up for some moral boost ‘cause I actually need to pay my rent, ya insensitive -” Atsumu waves his hands around, trying and failing to come up with the right word to convey the amount of injustice that this gaunt motherfucker has brought into his relatively simple life thus far.

“If you can’t pay your rent, go get a job at the McDonald’s over by 8th Street,” Sakusa growls, “it’ll pay more than your researcher position.”

If you even attempt assault on a coworker, forget teaching about cells - you’ll fucking be in one, Atsumu.

*Dance of the Parallax by astroeulogy (ogre spirit!sakusa au: 6.7k, T)

For the last twenty years, Atsumu’s done all that he can to break his betrothal to the ogre spirit Sakusa. If he can just make it through one more night, he’ll be free.

honestly, just read everything by astroeulogy. i’m recommending this fic in particular because it has such an ethereal voice to it. magical

across oceans, across centuries by starstrikes (pacific rim au: 20.0k, T)

Six days ago, Osamu died and left Atsumu with this: Atsumu, you have to—

(Namikira rises with the tides and rips Osamu and Vulpis Empress away in one fell swoop. Six days later, Atsumu wakes up alone in a hospital bed and learns how to swim.)

you don’t actually need to know pacrim to appreciate this. a wonderful exploration of grief and recovery. also it’s exactly 20k words which is both satisfying and terrifying

*Notte Stellata by awkwardedgeworth (ice skating/dancing au: 20.8k, T)

"Your partner doesn't need to hold anyone's hand other than yours," Sakusa's father crouches, "And you can wear gloves."

Sakusa ponders. He hears the other skaters of rink two whiz past as they launch themselves into lifts.

"Alright," He looks up from the ice, not knowing how he'll dedicate the next couple of decades to this sport, this partnership, this boy.

what a stunning fic. a beautiful progression of sakusa & atsumu’s relationship, rife with references to real skating programs, beautifully written and structured. so full of longing i’m in mild physical pain

#if anyone else has recs feel free to drop them in the replies mwah #sakuatsu fic is SO high quality you can literally just look at the tag and blindly press and find something stunning #these are just my personal favorites #basically just my ao3 bookmarks and then some #sakuatsu #sakusa kiyoomi #miya atsumu #sakuatsu fic #haikyuu fic #ask #reynegades #thank you for asking.....ive been dying to make a fic rec post i just needed a push lol #fic

333 notes · View notes

sukirichi · 3 years

Note

hi suki! wanted to tell you this bc i have no one else to talk about it with ><

( you can answer this when the English chapter releases! i was able to read it because my friend bought the WSJ issue)

I was trying to udnerstand Naoy's character, so I was reding everything from CH138-151 again. I'm kinda sad at how people just calls Naoya a Toji fanboy (though true LMAO) and not realizing how Toji really influenced his persona. Like the admiration Naoya held for Toji is so deeply engraved in him that he, who was called a genius sorcerer as a child, looks up to a man who was called a failure. Toji is probably the only man in the clan that he respected, that's why toji's level of strength became his "picture" to follow. And I think a lot of who Naoya has become is because the Zen'ins literally groomed the decency out of him. Still, though groomed to be everything he is, he himself chose not to change anything about it.

(wait but also?? little naoya looks cute like he would guide old ladies on the ped xing so what the fuck happened after that)

I guess one major reason why he does not respect anyone else in the clan (besides his superiority complex) is because of the Zen'in's concept of what is marked as strong. Like, the way they see and treated him as if he's the best sorcerer in the making, yet failing to see Toji's powers and rejecting him fully. It's something similar to Mai when she said "Maki has talent that I don't. And the clan rejected that; that talent that I lacked", except Naoya is raised to be a confident (arrogant?) child, thus he takes it as a challenge instead and works to achieve it.

So, when Maki reached the level of Toji, I think his reaction wasn't simply stemmed on his "fanboy" antics, but his desperation of being part of that level of strength. I think he's more irritated in the fact that Maki, someone who he does not see anywhere near as strong as he is (though he does say Maki is strong in chapter 138), reached a level of strength that he hasn't; that he is trying hard to achieve. It's also the same with having your favorite superhero getting defeated. And Naoya's in denial that there is someone else who could be the same as Toji.

I like how he's an antagonist that was not build under the foundation of a sob backstory (though it was a v small sneak peak of his background and was mainly centered with his admiration for toji, plus I think people forget that Naoya is an antagonist), how he acknowledges that he has not reached that level of strength. Of course, I'm angsty about his misogynistic ideals. I get that he's from a very traditionalist clan so... yeah. I mean, no child is born evil. Children learn from those around them (I've seen many people say he's trash since he was a kid when he said that "i wonder what miserable face he has", but like he's a kid, he doesn't know what he's saying AHSJFJWJQ8QR he was either taught that or he just learned it from others. Funnily enough, he does say toji has a pretty face now LMAO). Maybe it stems from something else, maybe it didn't.

I'm not saying him trying to kill Megumi is forgotten (Though, the Jujutsu Society is a place where teens get executed for the simple fact that they are too strong, so im not surprised. Just like Noritoshi said, age does not matter in Jujutsu Society). I see now why he was really pissed about Megumi being the head, since Naoya has been promised the position since he was young, only to loose of a 15 year old who is the son of the man he admires :')) However, still, none of it excuses the shit he did. He still has a shitty personality, but it's nice to know a bit of a background.

Anyway, that's all for now. My English is bad so that might be all over the place •`,`• That's just my take on it so I could be wrong or maybe seeing him wrong since we still don't know much abt him. I'm always scared to talk about naoya because the last time i did (on twt) i got a backlash of hate (ppl really do get hate just from admiring someone's characterization). Your blog is like a safe haven for naoya stans, so i thank you for that hehe.

Have a nice day suki!! kisses~

(also this is a PSPSPSPS to a naoya childhood friends au fic pls 👁👁)

bestie omg I am so sorry, I found this deep in my inbox and I am *shakes* and yes yes let’s talk about naoya, I would be more than glad to and I’m sorry I didn’t see this any sooner!! more rants and simping under the cut

I'm kinda sad at how people just calls Naoya a Toji fanboy (though true LMAO) and not realizing how Toji really influenced his persona. Like the admiration Naoya held for Toji is so deeply engraved in him that he, who was called a genius sorcerer as a child, looks up to a man who was called a failure. Toji is probably the only man in the clan that he respected, that's why toji's level of strength became his "picture" to follow. And I think a lot of who Naoya has become is because the Zen'ins literally groomed the decency out of him. Still, though groomed to be everything he is, he himself chose not to change anything about it.

omg for this…I’m actually like…like I love the detail that naoya admires toji? as we can see from the panel of little naoya, it’s like people have already planted in his head that no cursed energy = loser, yet he ended up admiring him and I am,,,my heart is just soft! exactly! just think of naoya born as a genius sorcerer yet his admiration for toji, who is painted as the clan’s failure, helped shape him into who he is! idk but I just really love the fact that naoya, who is like born with the pressure and role of being clan leader, somewhat strays from tradition and ends up finding strength into toji and even strives to follow him or “stand by him” someday. for me, it just shows that perhaps naoya isn’t really half as bad as he should be in an honest sense, meaning that he’s evil or morally corrupt because he was born that way or because he chose to be that way. I do agree that perhaps he is the way he is now because he’s groomed to be like that, but of course, I’m not going to disregard the fact that somewhere along the way, Naoya could’ve matured to choose himself to not embody the misogynistic tradition of the zen’in clan.

This could just be me, but my interpretation of it is that Naoya seems more like the perfect product or embodiment of how the clan shaped him to be, blinded him with false morals and the patriarchy presiding into them. Rather than Naoya being just “a misogynistic arrogant man” in my perspective and my opinion, I see him more into the bigger picture of his toxic upbringing to begin with. Like, no child is born evil unless there’s like a predetermined curse deciding their fate for them, so its partly the Zen’in clan’s fault he’s that way. But Gege showing that Naoya admiring someone the Zen’in clan disregarded, it shows that he is capable of being himself without the clause of his clan enforcing things to him once again, like the whole “he’s gonna be the future clan leader” thing, though that is still heavily embedded within him.

(wait but also?? little naoya looks cute like he would guide old ladies on the ped xing so what the fuck happened after that)

OMGGGG PLEASE THAT’S SO CUTE, HE LOOKED SO INNOCENT AND ADORABLE BUT EVEN AS A CHILD HE WAS ALREADY CALLING PEOPLE A LOSER LIKE EYE

I guess one major reason why he does not respect anyone else in the clan (besides his superiority complex) is because of the Zen'in's concept of what is marked as strong. Like, the way they see and treated him as if he's the best sorcerer in the making, yet failing to see Toji's powers and rejecting him fully. It's something similar to Mai when she said "Maki has talent that I don't. And the clan rejected that; that talent that I lacked",except Naoya is raised to be a confident (arrogant?) child, thus he takes it as a challenge instead and works to achieve it.

Anon, is it just me or like…was his superiority complex also enforced on him by the Zen’in clan as well? Again this could just be me going all psychologist mode on Naoya but the nature of superiority complex is quite interesting, you know! As a psych student, I perfectly understand that superiority complex either stems from several things like a) wanting to live up to one’s or others expectations, b) masking it with a deep stem of insecurity, or c) it’s a coping mechanism. See, I could go on and on about but then I’d have to link all my past studies lmao so let’s just put it on layman’s terms that my interpretation of Naoya’s superiority complex is once again, influenced by the clan. Imagine being a kid born into a clan where people remind you again and again that you’re the future leader, that you would be the one to guide them or protect them or discuss the clan’s future and status once you grow, and you’re quite groomed for it.

For such pressure to be put on a child’s shoulders, it kind of strips off his youth and instead of him enjoying his youth, I can imagine that it took a toll on little Naoya, and the reason he grew his superiority complex is his way to cope and reach the standards and expectations that is given to him. Of course, he’s a kid, he might start to wonder, “Can I even do all of that?” but seeing as the Zen’in clan highly measures strength and growth based on abilities, cursed energy, and overall just to conform into the image they’ve held for years, it’s quite obvious that Naoya can’t exactly voice out his worries over this, so instead, he masks it with a superiority complex that absolutely boosts him to a higher level, thus giving him the confidence he needed to carry out his tasks and the reassurance that, “Yes, I am worthy and I will be the clan leader.” As for your theory that he takes it as a challenge, I can see where you’re coming from! I think Naoya is the type of person who definitely likes to challenge himself, but one of the reasons I love his character so much is because he’s not completely a brainless “head on straight to war” type of person too.

He knows his limits and knows which side he should be in, as showed when Yuuta came and mans surrendered easily. Idk why but to me, Naoya, who is such an arrogant confident man who has high trust in abilities, but at the same time can admit when someone is stronger than him (like him admiring Toji and Gojo) just makes him more human and a little more beautifully flawed. Like, he’s not perfect and he’s most definitely an irritating character, but the way he was written is just *chef’s kiss*

Yes, ah I really do love this theory that he’s more irritated because in his mind, he’s like, “I’m a genius sorcerer! I was meant to be clan leader! This is my rightful spot to be a strong one, so how come Maki, who is a woman, with no zero cursed energy has reached the level of the person I looked up most to?” again, Naoya didn’t say that and those are just my opinions and brainrot so don’t come at me for it uwu, but yeah I do think that he’s very aggravated that he didn’t react that level first. Because I guess you could say, he’s probably alluding that Maki reaching Toji’s strength = them being equals, and ofc Naoya wanted to be the one standing beside them. It probably hit his superiority complex that he wasn’t the one in Maki’s spot especially when he tried so hard to achieve it, and considering the gifts he was given (same cursed technique as his dad and him having cursed energy) it threw him off.

Yeah, Naoya is most likely in denial and becomes aggressive over it, although I don’t really mean physically aggressive because Naoya is actually quite calm and ‘composed.’ If ever he did go on a rampage, he does it in such a suave, calculated manner with this silent confidence that he will win. It kind of makes you root for him because he even fools the audience (by audience I mean ME) that he’s going to OWN that fight but whoop, he got his ass kicked. Plus ten points for confidence and a bonus thousand points for being sexy though!!! Yeah, omg he’s probably in disbelief that a woman of all people could be like the person he admired most.

OMG YESSSS ANON YES YES YES *slams down simping button angrily* That’s what I like about him too! Even though Naoya is cocky and wayyyy too arrogant for his own good, I also like that he acknowledges he’s not quite in a level he wants to be in yet. And hah, his backstory, it wasn’t totally sob because it’s obvious he was much too doted on, but I still hate how they made him like that. True, if he’s still carrying the same misogynistic ideals as he is now in an age where he has the mental capacity to improve and be different, then the belief has become more of a choice than something engraved into him, which I am really disappointed and not really into because of course, he’d be much better if he wasn’t like that in the first place. LOLOLOLOL yes yes he’s a kid, it sure as hell doesn’t excuse the way he is now but like just think !!

if a kid was spouting out such mean words and CLEARLY no one is correcting him, who really is the problem here? A child has a harder time deciphering what is right and wrong by himself without proper guidance. And he didn’t have proper guidance, they really just let him be like that and it’s because the clan!! sucks !! ass !! YEAH he probably called toji with a miserable face because he hasn’t seen him before but after seeing the iconic dilf, Naoya gone be like, “anyways, I lied, moving on—”

I'm not saying him trying to kill Megumi is forgotten (Though, the Jujutsu Society isa place where teens get executed for the simple fact that they are too strong, so im not surprised. Just like Noritoshi said, age does not matter in Jujutsu Society). I see now why he was really pissed about Megumi being the head, since Naoya has been promised the position since he was young, only to loose of a 15 year old who is the son of the man he admires :')) However, still, none of it excuses the shit he did. He still has a shitty personality, but it's nice to know a bit of a background.

yeah no of course, no worries! even as a hardcore naoya stan, I can admit this dude is TERRIBLE for so many reasons! yeah I mean that could be pretty irritating because he was born for it, raised to be clan leader, groomed and expected he’d have that role, but nah someone else took his throne. yeah I’m with you on that, naoya has a shitty personality and I would totally smack him if he was real because he makes my eyes roll to the back of my head, but knowing his background and theorizing (read: me going all psychologist mode because he’s the only character I ever cared about to apply my studies into) his character is quite fun. I wish we had more scenes with Naoya though, I really hoped he’d play a bigger role but he just…died, I guess, though I’m starting to believe that maybe he really isn’t dead! Gege did him dirty omg I’ll cry again if it’s really GENUINELY confirmed my baby is gone.

ah no worries about your English, I didn’t really notice anything wrong with it tbh! And I understand, these are all just our opinions/theories/perspectives, we could be wrong or not, we don’t really know because we’re not Gege (⋟﹏⋞) NOOOO PEOPLE HATED YOU ON THAT? ISTG I’VE NEVER SEEN A FANDOM CANCEL SOMEONE AS MUCH AS JJK FANDOM CANCELS NAOYA AND NAOYA STANS LIKE – he’s just a fictional character omg, cancelling naoya is understandable because I would too but attacking his fans? or generally anyone who talks about him in a neutral or not in a way that goes, “yeah I would punch this mfer” is just?? doesn’t make sense to me bestie, people really choose to do that with their time yikes.

AND AWWW THANK YOU YES I PROTECT ALL MY FELLOW NAOYA STANS HERE, I respect who people simp for because if it’s what you enjoy and as long as you’re not hurting anybody, then it really doesn’t matter and it’s not a big deal! and you’re always welcome here uwu. have an even nicer day bestie and I’m sorry I didn’t see this sooner AAAA I really loved talking about this tho HEHEHEH I’m not actually too much of a JJK theorist since I’m not smart enough to pay attention or infer from all the details but NAOYA HMMMMM also childhood friends fic? hmu let’s hear it!! also ahh hmm idk but i get really happy whenever people talk to me freely about naoya bcos even tho i have been a naoya simp for like three months, it was not until recently that people came to me about him and i have just been simping alone (bcos people MADDDD) spsppsps okay rant over thank you anon i love you kith kith <3

#asks with naoya's trophy wife #jjk: manga spoilers #tw: misogyny

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not-reagan · 3 years

Text

milf: man i love forests

pairing: deforester boo seungkwan x frat boy mirror demon han jisung (side pairing reagan x rainbow)

genre: crack, strangers to friends to lovers, non-idol au

warnings: cursing, brief supernatural elements, i don’t know if this applies but all lcase, and i listened to christmas music and abba while writing this

word count: 2.7k

authors note: happy birthday @miyuuraiura !! i am so sorry about this monstrosity being your birthday gift but you asked for it so it's your fault entirely. i was gonna include some context on this story for those who are not rainbow and i but actually i don't think i will.

seungkwan did what he could to get by. he loved nature, he really did, but sometimes you have to make moral sacrifices to survive. he was a college kid strapped for cash, and when he saw a sign reading “GET RICH QUICK, INVEST IN DEFORESTATION” in the summer going into his freshmen year, he jumped at the opportunity. sure, he would have rather been a freelance singer, hired for bar-mitzvahs and children's parties, but that job market was flooded at the moment.

jisung, on the other hand, had no care for nature. actually, he didn't care for any human things, apart from “banging parties, booze, the boys™, and bitches”. he hated quite a bit about earth, the worst of all to him being college. as a demon, he had no reason to attend university, but after he was summoned in the bathroom of a frat house by the school’s power couple; rainbow and reagan, he felt obliged to follow the two around and keep them company.

for seungkwan, his main job rarely required in person work. he usually just chose plots of land to demolish, and sent plans to local managers. the only time he actually had to knock down any trees himself was during his summer break. he has a part time job of course, but it didn't provide him enough cash to survive. for someone with a job as a deforester, he truly did do what he could to save the environment. he joined his schools environmental club, becoming vice president his sophomore year because of his work with them. he kept his job a secret, not even telling his parents where the influx of cash was coming from. he kept a low profile and went through the motions of life. he didn't have much of a social life, with his small amount of friends being from the environmental club.

han jisung found joy in witnessing his professors and fellow students lose their minds over his lack of effort in class. he did the bare minimum and still passed with flying colors. most of all, it angered his seatmate in earth science, who happened to be none other than boo seungkwan. seungkwan was a hard worker in everything he did, particularly in school. he didn't get the best grades, but by no means was he the worst. averaging a steady B+, seungkwan spent most of his nights studying or working, rarely going to parties and enjoying himself only through one person karaoke rooms.

this fact upset jisung. he didn't know why, but seeing seungkwan so tired every day made him feel sad(? jisung wasn't sure what it made him feel. it was an emotion he had never experienced before. rainbow told him it meant he had a crush. to this he threw an empty soda can at them). not to mention seungkwan’s upsetting karaoke addiction, which he knew all about the danger of because of reagan, who spent most of her weekends drunk and singing. jisung didn’t know why he took such a liking to seungkwan. what he did know was that he was ecstatic to find that they would be paired together for a project. a project that required quite a bit of teamwork, and a lot of after school work sessions.

seungkwan liked to think that he didn’t hate anyone. he hated evil people, like hitler and stalin and jyp, but he didn’t really hate anyone besides the worst of the worst. that was until he experienced jisung. he wasn’t sure why jisung always talked to him when he was trying to take notes in class. he especially wasn’t sure why he was so excited to be partnered up together for the project that was worth 25% of their grade. seungkwan was less than happy to have to cooperate with jisung for an extended period of time, and he was not looking forward to letting him into his dorm room, or going anywhere near jisung’s frat house. seungkwan had no idea what he was pushed into.

they planned to meet at the cafe on campus at 5:00 pm after class. seungkwan was less than happy. jisung was thrilled. when jisung arrived seungkwan was sitting at a table drinking an americano and working on an english essay. he wasn't sure how to approach him, slowly walked closer before tapping on his shoulder. seungkwan jolted in his seat.

“jesus fuck jisung. you scared the crap out of me,” seungkwan gasped. jisung’s ears flushed as he brought his hand to the back if his neck.

“sorry,” he started, pausing for a second before starting again, “why don't we get started?”. he swung his bag down to the ground as he took a seat. seungkwan offered a small, non genuine smile before pulling out the project’s guidelines.

“let's try to finish this as quickly as possible. im pretty busy and don't have much time to fool around.” seungkwan said. jisung felt his heart drop. did seungkwan really think that little of him? granted, he always dozed off in class but he got his work done on time and in an orderly fashion. he felt his mind begin to wander. if seungkwan felt this way about him now, how would he feel when he found out that jisung was a demon. would seungkwan start to like him if he knew him better? jisung couldn't figure out why he cared so much about how seungkwan perceived him. he had never had an issue with others opinions of him before, so what made seungkwan so different? for some reason, jisung felt the need to connect with seungkwan. if not for himself, then at least to help him let loose.

after working silently on each of their portions of the projects for 3 hours, jisung finally spoke up. “do you want to maybe come to my party next month? well, it's not my party, it's for rainbow’s birthday. i know you're not one for social interaction but it would be cool to see you there. i’ll give you the details if-”

“i’d love to go,” seungkwan cut off jisung’s rambling. to be honest, he wasn't exactly sure what he was agreeing to, but he knew it would shut jisung up, and seungkwan valued his peace and quiet. part of him also just felt downright bad for the other. he seemed to be trying awfully hard to become friends with seungkwan, and he wouldn’t admit it, seungkwan had started to warm up to the boy. he really wasn’t as much of an issue as he had thought before, and was actually really respectful of seungkwan’s wishes. maybe i’ll give him a chance, seungkwan thought before going back to his work.

over the next month, jisung and seungkwan continued meeting to work on their project. seungkwan was less short with the other, and jisung was still red faced every time seungkwan decided to talk to him, which became quite frequently over the next few weeks. jisung was starting to realize that the feelings he had for seungkwan were not simply platonic, and that he didn’t just want to be friends with him. with the help of rainbow and reagan, he had come to the conclusion that he really, really liked seungkwan, and that he was going to do something about it. remembering that he had invited seungkwan to the party, he devised a plan to not only tell seungkwan about his whole “i’m actually a demon” thing, but also about his true feelings. it wouldn't be easy, but it was what he had to do.

a month later, seungkwan still wasn’t exactly sure why he had agreed to go to jisungs frat house at 9:00 pm on a saturday night. yet there he was, standing on the front porch of a large house, wondering if he should bite the bullet and walk in, or spare himself and leave right then. he didn't get a choice, however, as rainbow and reagan stepped out of the house giggling while clutching onto each other. both stopped in their tracks when they saw seungkwan. the couple and seungkwan stared at each other for a good minute before seungkwan shook himself from his trance.

“hey rainbow!” seungkwan started, “and reagan too. i know we aren’t super close, but jisung invited me and i thought i’d just drop by and wish you a happy birthday.” he passed her a birthday card filled with $50 bucks and then turned to leave. “i’ll leave you guys now. have a great birthday!” before seungkwan could get very far, however, rainbow grabbed him by the arm.

“hey, i’d love if you’d stay! at least go say hi to jisung. i’m sure he’d like to see you,” she said, silently making note to have jisung pay her back for being a great wingwoman.

“he’s probably hiding in the second floor bathroom. if you don't see him in there, just say his name three times in front of the mirror. he’ll appear.” reagan explained. seungkwan thought she was joking. how wrong he was.

following his entrance to the house, he had to refuse not one, not two, but three different people who were looking to give him bottles or cups of something which seungkwan presumed to be various types of alcohol. navigating through the house was difficult, reaching the stairs to the second floor only after running into numerous people borderline fucking on two large couches in the living room, a smoke circle taking place in what seungkwan assumed to be a dining room, and a very aggressive makeout session against a wall. once he finally reached the second floor, he had some difficulty finding the bathroom, accidentally walking in on reagan and rainbow, who had miraculously made it upstairs faster than he had.

“if you don’t stop shitting constantly i am going to break up with you! also, stop taking feet pics! it’s weird!” he heard rainbow shout.

“at least i can eat seafood! how does it make your head hurt? you’re the weakest link! that fucking seafood platter was delicious. and you know what, i’m glad i didn’t have to share it with you!” reagan responded. seungkwan quickly shut the door, not wanting to get involved in whatever drunken argument was going on there. after a bit more searching, he finally stumbled across the right room. knocking first to see if anyone was in there, he entered, and to his surprise, nobody was there. jisung was nowhere to be seen. seungkwan reviewed his options. he could a) leave the party, or b) continue to look around the packed house. but there was another option. he thought about it for a second.

“what's the harm in trying,” seungkwan thought out loud, before staring directly into the mirror.

“han jisung, han jisung, han jisung.”

nothing happened. that's what seungkwan thought, until a minute later the lights in the bathroom flickered off and the mirror began to glow. “what. the. fuck,” seungkwan managed to squeak out before falling backwards into the tub. first a leg emerged, then two arms, and finally the rest of jisung’s body.

“i feel like the genie in aladin every time i have to get into a fucking mirror,” jisung complained before seeing seungkwan toppled over. to that view, he jumped down off the counter and moved to help him up. seungkwan, aside from falling, seemed to be reacting well to the whole situation, at least in the sense that instead of freaking out he seemed to be in a state of shock. jisung took this as a good sign, and lifted the motionless body up onto the toilet seat.

“hey seungkwan, you there?” jisung waved his hand in front of seungkwan's face as he slowly came to his senses.

“what kind of twisted party trick was that?” seungkwan asked, pretty seriously. jisung just laughed.

“you summoned me from the mirror. i’m like a funny version of michael jackson except i'm a demon and not a man in the mirror.” jisung explained. seungkwan just stared. “are you ok kwan? do you want me to get you some water?”

“it was… kind of sick.” seungkwan stated. he didn't know why he wasn't scared. under any other circumstance like this one, he probably would have shit his pants. for some reason he felt comfortable around jisung. he felt warm. he felt seen. it was something he hadn't felt before. that's when he realized. he wondered why it took himself to long to figure it out. he never hated jisung. he just didn't know what to do with the fact that he made him feel special, and that he felt as though he belonged when they were together. it had hit him why he was so nervous the whole night, why he had wanted to make such a good impression, and why he was willing to embarrass himself by calling out jisungs name as opposed to just choosing to go home. it was because he loved him.

“can i tell you something?” both of the boys said at the same time. jisung giggled and seungkwan flushed red. **authors note! bonus starts here**

“you first,” seungkwan offered. he wasn't exactly sure he would be able to make it through a sentence without getting any redder than he already was.

jisung took this opportunity to finally get his true feelings out into the air, “i like you… uhh like, i like like you. i have since we first became seatmates. well, i think that's when i've liked you since. i knew whe-”

“you're rambling again,” seungkwan told him. jisung flushed a dark shade of pink. “it's a habit of yours. i think it's cute actually.” seungkwan wasn't sure where his sudden surge of confidence came from, but he was glad it came. he was standing up now, holding jisungs hands in his. jisungs heart was racing a mile a minute as he looked down at their intertwined hands and them back up, catching seungkwan looking directly at his lips. “can… can i kiss you?” seungkwan stuttered out. jisung couldn't find his words, so he opted to just nod.

when their lips connected, seungkwan could have sworn he heard fireworks. he did later find out that someone was setting off a firework in the back yard, but it was the thought that counted. their lips melted together perfectly, and seungkwan wondered why it took him so long to admit his feelings to himself. he could have been kissing jisung for a month before this.

once they finally parted, seungkwan spoke softly, “i like you too. i think that's pretty obvious now but just in case you didn't know.” jisung had the dumbest, most confused face on, and seungkwan had the brightest smile he'd ever had. seungkwan had rendered jisung speechless, for once in his life. not long after, they started kissing again, content with their emotions and their new relationship.

seungkwan was never one to believe that good things were permanent. he was overdramatic, stubborn, and hated interacting with people outside his small social circle. that was until han jisung came along. he was starting to think that maybe, just maybe, he could let someone else into his life.

jisung was a simple man. well, not a man, but he was simple nonetheless. he liked banging parties, booze, the boys™, and bitches. well maybe there was one more thing he liked. he knew for sure he liked boo seungkwan. maybe he loved him. maybe seungkwan even felt the same way.

-fin

**BONUS**

reagan and rainbow leaned up against the door to eavesdrop on their matchmaking work.

“holy shit!” reagan gasped.

“what is it?? tell me what happened. you're hogging up the door!” rainbow hissed.

“our boy is so grown up,” reagan pretended to cry. “put your goddamn ear up here.” rainbow felt her ear connect with the cold door just as jisung confessed his feelings.

“i like you… uhh like, i like like you. i have since we first became seatmates. well, i think that's when i've liked you since. i knew whe-” his next words were cut off on the girls side of the door as reagan squealed.

“shut your mouth! seungkwans saying something!!” rainbow said, obviously annoyed that reagan was obstructing her ability to hear the exchange.

“can… can i kiss you?” they heard seungkwan say. both looked at each other in shock.

“oh. my. god.” was all rainbow could say.

“i think we should give them some alone time,” reagan suggested as she tugged rainbow down the hall.

“i think we need some alone time for ourselves,” rainbow said as reagan pushed her into a random room and locked the door behind them.

#kpop #seventeen #stray kids #svt #skz #fanfic #guys i am so sorry #seungkwan #jisung #boo seungkwan #han #han jisung #a birthday gift #miyuuraiura #for you 💕#han jisung x boo seungkwan #jisung x seungkwan #han x seungkwan

12 notes · View notes

its-afucking-mess · 3 years

Text

A little guide on ao3 (by an ao3 user and writer)

Friendly reminder for mobile users! Ao3 is a website. It doesn't have (as far as im concerned) an official app for mobile, so better get comfy with using crome on your phone.

Some video links ill leave for people who prefer video and audio:

- navigating the fanfiction sites

- popular fandom terminology part 1 and part 2

- shipping etiquette

i really reccomend coley's videos if you want to get to know more fandoms, or get an inside look to how some stuff works. There also might be more vids about fandom's and fan works, so don't hesitate to look through some of her stuff!

the explaining under the 'read more' ao mutuals wont kill me :)

(also tagging @ethanesimp since they asked for this advice )

So, what is Ao3 really?

Ao3 is a website made by fans for fans. There are no ads, and all content is free on Ao3. Anyone can post (with some age restrictions) and they can post anything.

How can I browse Ao3?

Ao3 does not require an account to view stories. You can easily browse as an anonymous user. You just are not able to view certain works, as creators have the ability to show their works to registered users only. Some cases, commenting is possible while anonymous, but again, it's up to the creator of the work.

If you want to be a creator and share works, you need an account.

An account also gives you the ability to bookmark works, so you can re-visit them, mark works for later, keeps a history of the works you've visited and allows you to favourite tags.

How do I get an Ao3 account?

When you first open the site, it gives you the option to "Get Invited". An invitation will be sent to your email anywhere from 24hrs later to a week later, depending on the amount of people in the automated queue.

After the invitation, you are able to set up your account like any other social media account. Pick a username, pseuds (name), description and bio. You can have a profile picture as well.

How do I navigate the site?

There are few ways to do so efficiently, but there's countless of ways you can experiment with to find which is more comfortable.

1st option: As the website loads, you can go to the 'Fandoms' tag.

Then, after clicking on it, this column appears. Through there, you can pick which media your fandom is from and from there, browse the huge list of different fandoms until you spot your own.

The list is in alphabetical order, so if your fandom begins with an "C", it shouldn't be too far down.

2nd option: At the top right, under your profile, and the options 'Post' and 'Log Out' should be a white oval search bar.

(im using my own account for demonstration)

When searching, there are many ways to work around it.

Personally, I press search as it is. It will lead you to a page where all the fanworks of the site are listed. (i believe its easiest, but always feel free to experiment)

From there, you press the 'Edit Your Search' button, located near the top right.

It will then lead you to a page with multiple fields.

Don't panic when you see all the fields. Only half those are of interest when you want to browse works for a fandom.

The most important ones are those under the Field name 'Work Tags'

Whatever you select under this field will be included in the works the site presents you with.

What are the work tags? What do they do?

Lets go through the options.

Fandom(s): when typing on this option, multiple fandom names will autofill in a list under the white space. If your fandom shows up, you can just click on it.

example:

From there, you can select the fandom you want to see works from. If your fandom doesn't show up, it can mean one of two things:

-there are no works for it

-it isn't popular enough to be picked up by the algorithm

After selecting one fandom, you can select another fandom, or more, to see works that are crossovers over universes.

Ratings: Ratings are selected by author. It defines the level of maturity it has in the work

- General audiences is the tag you want to use when nothing bad happens in the work. No swearing, no sexual activities, no violence or gore. It wont contain scenes that minors are not allowed to see.

- Teen and up audiences is the tag used for most works on the site. It is what would be used when you have mentions of/vague sexual content or violence. Normally, the most extreme stuff on there is excessive swearing, heavy angst and hurt/comfort with no excessive details

- Mature is the tag that is for 18+. It is mostly filled with one of following : Violence, Sexual Content, Ab*se, R@pe, Death and SH.

Reader descretion is advised by looking at the additional tags the author has provided, especially for those with triggers.

- Explicit is like Mature, but contains more graphic content. Works rated explicit mostly fall under the 'Graphic depictions of sexual content', 'Graphic depictions of Violence and Gore' or 'Graphic depictions of Ab*se, R@pe, or Self H*rm

Reader descretion is advised, stronger than mature, since it can be much more triggering. The works are scarily detailed sometimes.

- Not rated: the author has not given this work a rating because none of the other ratings fit the work. Pay special attention to the tags.

Warnings: Also known as Archive warnings by older users. The trigger warnings of Ao3. There are 6 archive warnings:

-Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings: The author didn't use the warnings, either because none of them fit the work's theme and warnings, or to avoid spoiling the story. Pay attention to the tags for any warnings.

-Graphic Depictions Of Violence: It is pretty self explanatory. Can contain any sort of violence, from wars, to simple fights, to ab*se of any kind. Can and often contain death. The type of violence is in the tags.

-Major Character Death: A main character in the story will die in this work. Pay attention to the tags always. The name of the character will be mentioned, as well as the way they die.

-No Archive Warnings Apply: None of the warnings apply. It is most times a perfectly safe work. Check the tags to make sure though!

-R@pe/Non-Con: The work contains non-consensual activities. Ranges from non-consensua sex to non-consensual use and ab*se of substances. Very close attention to the tags!

-Underage: The main character(s) in this work are underage/minors. This is normally tagged along sexual content so be aware and pay close attention to the tags!

Categories: This regards the relationships in the work:

- M/M, or better known as mlm or a relationship between two non-woment (men mostly, can include characters under the non-binary umbrella)

- M/F, a heterosexual relationship (is inclusive of trans characters too!)

- F/F, or wlw, or a relationship between two non-men (women mostly, can include characters under the non-binary umbrella)

- Gen, no sexual or romantic relationships are in this work, or if there are any, they arent of main focus.

- Multi: Polyamorous relationships, or multiple relationships are included in this work (this is also where threesomes+ are tagged in sometimes)

- Other relationships: One of the two people in the relationship is non-human (mostly), or the relationships are platonic/family.

Characters: The characters you want to be included in the story. This works just like the 'Fandom' filter, so the same things apply. You can tag as many characters as desirable.

Relationships: The relationships that you want present in the work. This includes both major and minor relationships. It can also include ended relationships (tagged Past x/y) and implied/referenced relationships. This works just like the Characters and Fandom filter.

Additional Tags: These are things the author has included to give potential readers an insight to the story. 'Angst', 'Fluff' and 'Smut' are additional tags. Works like the Relationships filter, so all same applies.

Is there anything I have to avoid/ I should avoid?

There is this very infamous tag, 'Dead Dove: Do not eat.' This tag is a warining to readers that the things in the work are really messed up, and can include anything illegal in it. PAY VERY CLOSE ATTENTION TO THE REST OF THE TAGS IF YOU STILL ARE INTERESTED.

How else can I filter works?

You can choose how they are:

sorted (Titles, Authors, Hits, Kudos, Comments, Bookmarks, and Best Match)

the word count (from 1 word to millions)

the language (most are on there)

the amount of chapters

if the work is complete of not

when it last updated/when was posted

and if there are crossovers.

These are all options that author has to include, and therefore you can sort freely. Most are bulletin options you can click on.

What if I want to find a specific work?

If you happen to know one of these: Author, Title, Fandom or Rating, you will find it. If you were reccomended one, it's better to ask for the author or the title, to make looking for it easier.

Can I find a specific author/ user?

People search is for finding users on the site

Bookmark search helps you look through other people's public bookmarks. Not really used.

Tag search finds works that include this specific tag you searched. Also not used a lot.

People can see my bookmarks?

When bookmarking a work, you are able to do a lot.

if you do not want your bookmarks to be visible to the public, make sure to check off the Private bookmark box at the bottom left.

Common terms thrown around by Ao3 users:

-tags: the additional tags of the work

-kudos: liking a story

-bookmarks: saving/saved stories. makes it easy to revist. you can see your bookmarks from your profile

-hits: the amount of people that have clicked on a story. Isn't necessary they liked it, but they did click on it.

And those are the basics! If you had to take one thing only, its ALWAYS READ TAGS

I hope this helped the clueless souls even a bit :)

Im open to reply to any other questions, and you can send me them in my asks, messages or comments of this post

#sofi's advice #navigating ao3 #help #advice #ao3

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ectonurites · 3 years

Note

so i read the big long young just us kon vs yja conner post. (amazing analysis btw) but i have another question about your thoughts on superboy as a character. So in the dc animated universe (that's over now but whatever) there's the Reign of the Supermen movie, and in that one Kon learns that Lex is his dad very very very early on. And since you said that you think Conner learning about Lex early was the biggest thing that changed it, I was wondering if you have thoughts on DCAU Superboy?

awh thank you! i am so pleasantly surprised people actually read that

[link if u are only seeing this post and want to read the other one]

BUT AH YES THAT BOI i very nearly included a section on this version of him in the other post but decided not to just because it was. already nearly 6k words. however im glad you asked this because I DO have thoughts on him (sorry no pictures this time just words):

My ultimate thought regarding him is: the Reign of the Supermen movie managed to create a Superboy that the Lex reveal wasn’t anywhere near as big a deal for, compared to his other versions. Which I personally think was really cool to see!

This reveal having a smaller impact allowed him to maintain what was basically his 90′s comic characterization even after it, instead of going deep into broody tt 2003 territory or being anything like cartoon yj Conner.

Though, that now raises the question of why it has such a lesser impact

In this setting, he already had an association with Luthor from basically the moment he’s in the movie. Here, he is LexCorp’s Superman, rather than him partnering with Tana’s news station like in the comic (because they chose to understandably omit Tana. Also, trying to adapt the actual role Lex had in the comic version of this whole event would be a mess especially because this was during that era where Lex had like... faked his death, was pretending to be his own illegitimate son, had long hair, and was dating Supergirl? it was very weird, and understandably a movie adaptation wouldn’t wanna touch any of that with a 10ft pole. In general the Reign of the Supemen movie changed SO MUCH from the original comic, but I think did a pretty good job of integrating a lot of the spirit of the story into something new. I haven’t rewatched it since reading the comic though, so I might be looking through memory-fogged rose-tinted glasses, but I plan on doing so soon and will prob talk about it).

Anyways, even before the actual reveal that Lex was also one of his DNA dads, Lex is out here acting like he’s Conner’s stage dad and... is literally in charge of him. Thus, even though obviously Lex still isn’t a great guy in this universe, it has nowhere near the same impact as finding out ‘renowned supervillain, that I have seen heroes go up against time and time again, is my dad!’ It’s more like finding out ‘oh my weird controlling boss is actually my dad?’ Still weird, still a lot to deal with, and he still gets sulky for a bit after finding out, but it’s way less drastic.

Not sure if I’m going to be able to articulate this next point well, but there’s another thing I think that kinda factors into it too. In my other post I had talked specifically about how not only the timing of finding this out was relevant, but also how the level of confidence Kon had in who he was as a person at the time mattered.

In the comics, when Superboy found out, he had been very confident in himself and been an established hero for years and thus learning this new information made him (to some extent at least) feel like his whole life had been a lie, and he now felt he was a danger because of how evil Lex is known to be. [Also of note: not only was he worried about hurting his team, but this happened after the point where he’d started living with the Kents. He had a lot of anxiety around thinking Clark wouldn’t trust him to live with his parents if he knew, and fear that he might hurt them.]

In the Young Justice cartoon, when Superboy found out, he had confidence in his abilities as I said before, but he still didn’t really know who he was. He still never got to experience trying to be Superman like he had expressed always wanting to, because he was brought into a world that already had a Superman. So this revelation is just adding onto a pile of confusion. [And I believe (I haven’t watched season one of yj in a while so this might not be correct) that at the point he finds out, Lex was already a known adversary of heroes & The Team themselves. So the fact that someone they were actively going up against had a connection to him (and was manipulating him through the patches) was a point of concern.]

Then we look at movie Superboy. He’s cocky and pretty confident in himself and his abilities, and was getting to shoot his shot at filling that Superman role right away, just like his comic counterpart. But he doesn’t go years believing a lie about himself, since he finds out about the Luthor connection so early. At the time of the reveal he also doesn’t have the same connections to other people (either the Teen Titans & The Kents like the comics or The Team in the cartoon), meaning he’s not going to angst over being a potential danger to all of them.

Also... he finds it out while he’s still actively working under Lex. In the comics, he finds out from an email he and Tim get while they’re at Titans Tower. In the cartoon Lex baits him to meet somewhere alone to tell him, before demonstrating he has a code word that effects him. In the movie, Lex brings him down to the very lab he was cloned in while lecturing him, because he works for Lex, and the reveal happens because of one of the scientists. It’s just such a wildly different circumstance for the reveal to happen under, because movie Superboy doesn’t see Lex through the same “only exists to me as a villain” lens his comic & cartoon counterparts do.... he’s basically just his overbearing boss at the time.

Like yes this is where the seams start to unravel, because Superboy then realizes ‘oh god Lex was bringing me down there to kill me then just decided against it’, but he’s going through an entirely different struggle with that than what his other counterparts had going on. Also by having this reveal happen in the middle of the movie like, before the final battle and everything, he doesn’t really have time to dwell on all of this. He’s gotta go stop Cyborg Superman with the others he doesn’t have time to go ‘angst angst angst’ about it for long!!

This also means that by the time he met Superman, Superboy already knew about the Lex connection. In both the comics and the yj cartoon, Clark and Conner met and knew each other (not necessarily in a close way in the yj cartoon BUT regardless) before Conner found this out. Meaning it was something that he kept a secret from Clark for a period of time, as it ate away at him. But here, since he finds out before Clark is even active and alive again, it’s not something he ever needs to hide! Like he deadass tells Lois about it the first time he sees her after he found out.

SO to summarize, the Lex reveal is way less drastic for this version of Conner because:

Superboy and Lex had a completely different dynamic at the time of the reveal than any other versions

Superboy in this setting didn’t have as many connections to others/wasn’t on a team at the time he found out, meaning there were less people he’d be concerned about putting in danger

Superboy never felt the need to keep this a secret from anyone for any extended period of time

Honestly I would have loved to see more things with this Superboy because it puts him in this unique position of having already faced this big challenge (dealing with Lex being a DNA dad) but not letting it bring him too deep into the angst, he’s not hiding it from anyone, he can just kinda... exist as himself! But noooo Apokolips War had to. Do that. that whole thing.

#conner kent #superboy #Anonymous #sam writes

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sweetcathedral · 3 years

Text

Note: Final part! Part 1 & Part 2 are here.

⚠️: Reader’s discretion is advised. This chapter contains forms of dubious consent and explores the theme of sex being used as self-harm.

Suna turns his attention to him. “Don’t you get tired?” He questioned with purpose.

“That doesn’t matter,” Tsukki replied defensively.

“Yes, it does.” He takes another puff of his cigarette.

“I was just asking if you were free or not—”

“Your habit of sleeping around isn’t for pleasure or self satisfaction anymore, right?” It was pointless trying to make someone like Tsukki come to the self-realization of his habit, so Suna decided to just force him to come out with it, regardless of the outcome. “Constantly sleeping around with no regard to whom you’re doing it with. And if I say no, then you’ll just call one of your toys out for the night.”

“I thought we agreed that this relationship wouldn’t go anywhere beyond fucking each other.” Tsukki was getting annoyed.

“Is it because of Kuroo’s girlfriend?” Suna ignored him, continuing to press onto the topic. “Is that why you feel the need to fuck someone tonight? Not because you’re turned on or anything, but because you hate the way you feel right now.”

“… shut up …”

Not yet.

“You were mad that there were no flaws to her because you needed to hate her in a reasonable sense.”

“I said shut up …”

More.

“You hated the jealousy you felt and compared yourself to her to see who would be better suited for Kuroo, knowing that he’s already happy in this relationship. You felt empty knowing this and wanted to fill that void with anything to ‘help’ you move on from Kuroo. And you think sex would do the trick?”

Tsukki avoided looking Suna in the eye with his fingers curled into a fist, his nails digging into the palms of his hands. Suna felt the need to keep on pressing him. Anything to let him vent out, so the thought of sex wouldn’t be an option for his outlet right now.

“If you don’t like the way sex is feeling—!”

A sharp pain shot through Suna’s cheek.

“Quit talking like you know how I feel!” Tsukki had slapped him hard across the face. “I don’t care about whether or not it feels good, I consented to it! So why do you even care?! I never asked you to care in the first place!” He snapped.

There.

“You may not have asked for it, but you need it! Someone to care for you, at least!” Suna fumed, letting the cigarette drop to the ground from his lips.

Tsukki collected his composure, deeply exhaling. “Fine. I’ll call someone else then.”

“For fucks sake, would you listen,” Suna sneered, grabbing Tsukki and holding him up against the wall by the arms. “The way you’re handling this isn’t right. You’re not thinking straight, you need to take a breather.”

“I’ll decide how I handle myself,” Tsukki yanked himself out of his grip, storming back into the restaurant.

Again, Suna wasn’t able to get through to him properly. It always ended like this anyways, everytime he tried to get Tsukki to let loose another way, he always ended up leaving him for another. Time and time again, he’d fight with Tsukki to reason with him, helping him be more self aware with himself.

Tsukki was right, Suna didn’t know how he felt and he might’ve been invasive with what he said, but Tsukki wouldn’t have reacted that way if what he said was wrong. He knows that feelings were out of the question, but is it so wrong to be worried about Tsukki’s well being, despite being in a sex-only relationship. Does he need to have feelings for him to care? Tsukki didn’t have to depend on him with everything, only when he felt like he couldn’t shoulder the burden anymore. That’s what Suna established this relationship for: not only to keep Tsukki from recklessly sleeping around with strangers, but to also help carry the burden for him. Communication, that was all Suna needed.

When he got back into the restaurant, Suna had forgotten about Tsukki slapping him across the face that his cheek had noticeably swollen up.

“Suna, your face!” Atsumu frantically put his glass of iced water to his cheek.

Suna winced, only realizing how painful it felt. That was one hell of a slap.

“What happened?!” Hinata worriedly asked.

Kageyama gave him his last yakitori to make him feel better, while Kenma asked the waiter for some ice.

“Hey, where’d Tsukki go?” Suna looked at his empty seat.

“He left to go meet up with a friend,” Hinata informed.

Friend my ass.

Memories of the sexual marks on Tsukki’s body flashed in Suna’s head.

He checked his phone for any messages. Nothing. Obviously, Tsukki wouldn’t message him any type of reassurance after fighting like that. Looking back on it now, he feels guilty for being the reason to push Tsukki into that decision. Fuck, I should’ve said yes.

“You okay?” Kenma asked with a concerned look on his face.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Suna painfully smiled, laughing it off as he internally blamed himself for tonight’s ordeal. Thinking that he could’ve done better to help Tsukki.

* A picture of Suna and Tsukki with their fans is shared.*

~.x.~dinobear~.x.~: tsukki!!!

rrx.98: saw this on my friends ig, im so jealous😭

xxx.~ali.supremacy~.xxx: LUCKY!!

keiko_katanaka_: (reply to @rrx.98) your friends are so cute !

rrx.98: (reply to @keiko_katanaka_) thank youuu, I honestly love them❤️❤️

user99109992844: where did the girl in the middle get her top from??

apple_pie_2: so prettyyyy

zoomzoom: @chuupetchi im saving this

zoomzoom: @sumatso @tofurice @orange.ritz

orange.ritz: Suna can smile🥺

sumatso: aww Sunaa

tofurice: 🥰

* A picture of Kenma, Hinata, Tsukki, Kageyama, Atsumu and Suna at their table at the Korean bbq restaurant is shared. *

user10177498232: omg! I work there but I wasn’t working this shift

user32334700981: WAS THIS TODAY???????

rrx.98: I work near there😮

bokurokuto: @zoomzoom you guys went without me?☹️

zoomzoom: (reply to @bokurokuto) @akaashikeiji

akaashikeiji: (reply to @bokurokuto) we went out today

~chan.yan05~: Ken and Hina are so cute !!

realanon00: I saw Suna and Tsukki head to the back, but I didn’t wanna follow after what happened to Suna

user44448103945: (reply to @realanon00) I feel bad for him ….

user30004847269: (reply to @realanon00) wait what happened

realanon00: (reply to @user30004847269) Suna had a stalker incident

* Article: Accused stalker who stabbed pro volleyball player pleads ‘not guilty’ by reason of insanity link is shared. *

* Article: Suna Rintarou of EJP taken out for the remainder of the season to recover from stab wounds link is shared. *

* Article: Pro volleyball player, Suna Rintarou, rushed to ICU in critical condition after altercation with stalker link is shared. *

* Article: Pro volleyball player, Suna Rintarou, miraculously survives critical stab wounds to the lower abdomen link is shared. *

* Article: Suna Rintarou in critical condition after stalker altercation, EJP coach rushes the decision to take him out for the rest of the season link is shared. *

* Article: Fans pray outside the hospital of Suna Rintarou, wishing him a speedy recovery link is shared. *

user30004847269: 😧😧😧😧😧

~chan.yan05~: aw man i remember this….

clx.90s: my heart sank when i read how bad his condition was

2k1990s: i remember watching the games, all of them started with a moment of silence for Suna

littletibetanfox: the atmosphere was so heavy during that season, im glad he recovered well

realanon00: Suna came back with a swollen cheek, but that was after Tsukki got back and left..

xxx.~ali.supremacy~.xxx: 👀

godcomplex101: yikes😬

user50011823241: Tsukki and Suna have been hanging around each other a lot lately

apple_pie_2: but theyre in diff teams

godcomplex101: oop tea???

user30004847269: its also not the league season yet

realanon00: maybe they live together ?

rrx.98: their teams are in diff prefex

clx.90s: i mean they have summer practices now so maybe its another training camp 🤷‍♀️

apple_pie_2: truu

zoomzoom: @chuupetchi

orange.ritz: (reply to @zoomzoom) 😗

sumatso: (reply to @zoomzoom) Suna you good?

darealest02: i know Tsukishima sleeps around a lot, my older brother went to college with him

rrx.98: (reply to @darealest02) wait whatt

_____fiveunderscores.: (reply to @darealest02) huuhhhh

clx.90s: yeah.. everytime i see a recent pic of him he always has a hickey somewhere new

zoomzoom: @guccibird @yachan96 collect your boy

guccibird: (reply to @zoomzoom) ….

yachan96: (reply to @zoomzoom) we’re not with him 24/7, its my first time hearing of this

bokurokuto: (reply to @zoomzoom) we see him most of the time, we can talk to him

zoomzoom: (reply to @bokurokuto) only during our summer intensives

bokurokuto: (reply to @zoomzoom) yeah! like now!

* A video recording of Suna and Tsukki fighting at the back of the restaurant from a public street view is shared. *

zoomzoom: 🤭

orange.ritz: noooo

bokurokuto: oh..

rrx.98: WHAT

guccibird: @yachan96 I CANT HEAR WHAT THEYRE SAYING

yachan96: (reply to @guccibird) WAIT ME TOO

clx.90s: DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT THEYR SAYING

zoomzoom: @chuupetchi I KNOW YOURE ONLINE

user30004847269: naahhhh

user30004847269: this is a lieeeee

xxx.~ali.supremacy~.xxx: 😶😶

apple_pie_2: 😳

~chan.yan05~: 😨😨

realanon00: wait who uploaded this ???

realanon00: howd you get this

user77700178329: i was on my way back from work until i heard yelling coming from the restaurant

user77700178329: it was eerily quiet too, so they were loud

user50011823241: shiiit

* A video recording of Suna and Tsukki fighting at the back of the restaurant from a public street view was removed. *

realanon00: oh?

user77700178329: awkard

apple_pie_2: that was quick

sumatso: @zoomzoom you get that?

zoomzoom: (reply to @sumatso) ya I got that

sumatso: (reply to @zoomzoom) send that to us @tofurice @orange.ritz @guccibird @yachan96

zoomzoom: @bokurokuto practice is gonna look awkward….

bokurokuto: (reply to @zoomzoom) dw we can fix this 😊

zoomzoom: (reply to @bokurokuto) no, its not our business

bokurokuto: (reply to @zoomzoom) their our friends 👯

bokurokuto: (reply to @zoomzoom) they need our help

zoomzoom: (reply to @bokurokuto) @akaashikeiji

akaashikeiji: @bokurokuto i think we should leave this to them

xxx.~ali.supremacy~.xxx: could they be dating ??

~chan.yan05~: dont know, i mean if they are theyre doing a good job at keeping it lowkey

rrx.98: 👀👀

user77700178329: nah theyre just friends

user77700178329: i overheard Suna trying to get Tsukishima to stop sleeping around, apparently hes getting outta hand now😬

2k1990s: oh nooo😔

clx.90s: i feel bad, I hope he’s okay

apple_pie_2: ew..😒

littletibetanfox: i hope Suna’s okay, that slap looked painful 😖

14 notes · View notes

matildashoney · 4 years

Text

Loving You’s the Antidote: Chapter Eleven

MASTERLIST // MOODBOARD // TAG LIST // TAGS // PLAYLIST

TAG LIST: @cock-a-doodely-doo, @ihearthemcallingforyou, @goldenfeelin, @detroitkiwis, @wherearethewatermelons

talk to me about it! feedback is greatly appreciated!

this chapter contains themes of sexual content please read with caution.

author’s note: there are no words to describe what a despicable time this is in the world, right now. i know this is a trying time, and i am posting this chapter early to hopefully give you space from the negativitiy if you want one. take care of yourself. i love you. i’m here for you. i see you. here is a page of links for you to sign petitions, learn, and donate. i encourge everyone to educate themselves. thank you for reading.

Going out was fine in the beginning.

Talia and Mylie were sat in the chairs opposite Amelie, their drinks nursed in their hands, talking about their boyfriends and their lives and their jobs. Her phone is vibrating every so often, likely from Harry, but they’ve already given her flack for not going out with her friends enough – even though she sees her best friend nearly five times a week – and always being attached to his hip when they’re together – which makes sense when he’s out of the country about six months a year – and it’s made her too anxious to excuse herself to check it. Harry would understand when she explained it.

“Can you tell me what you two are staring at or are you just going to keep looking past me like you’ve seen a ghost?”

“Getting a weird vibe from this guy that’s been staring at you all night,” Mylie says, squinting to try and get a better glance at who it was. “Don’t know, maybe I’m seeing things.”

“Anyways,” Talia interrupts, trying to break the underlying tension that is hovering above their table and causing all three girls to draw circles around their glasses, “How’s Harry? You two alright? Haven’t seen him in a while.”

Amelie smiles, her lips tingling with the mixture of tequila and the sensation of Harry’s lips on hers. “Harry and I are good. Love that man, I do.” Her teeth clink against the rim of the glass, taking the rest of the drink smoothly down her throat and standing. “Want another?”

“One for me,” Mylie smiles, sliding her glass towards Amelie. “Want me to come?”

“Not that crowded,” Amelie shrugs, taking a deep breath and gathering all her anxiety into her stomach. “I can do it.”

You can do it. Ask for a drink, wait for it, leave. Two minutes max. You can do this. Harry would be really proud of you for going out and being able to do it. You can do it.

Amelie walks to the wooden bar, slightly less crowded than it had been an hour and a half ago when they arrived, Talia and Mylie’s attention turned towards their own conversation. Her arms lean on the sticky counter as she waits, the bartender walking away to make her drinks, her hand reaching into her pocket to grab her phone and message him back, to tell him that everything was going alright. Amelie’s mind is elsewhere, clouded with tequila and rum and the drink that the bartender made when they walked in.

Until a hand lingers a bit too long on her lower back and a breath hits the back of her neck.

Amelie’s muscles immediately tense, dropping her phone on the counter and her head turning over her shoulder, all of the oxygen knocking out of her lungs at the sight in front of her.

“Look at you,” Jack slurs, his hand brushing the curls hanging over Amelie’s shoulder behind her back. “Get rid of that boyfriend of yours, finally?”

Amelie gulps, shaking her head, her hands reaching for her phone, fingers shaking, her eyes drawing out a path that would take her to her friends and they could leave. Her thumb is too sweaty to swipe across her screen, and every breath that she takes seems to be weighted and never make it into her lungs.

“Doubt that he’d ever leave you alone when you’re out. Always has to ‘ave an eye on you,” he mumbles, drawing his fingertip along her arm, chuckling darkly when she shrugs him away. “Must not be here, then.”

“Leave me alone, Jack,” Amelie spits, her tone echoing the fear that is welling tears in her eyes. Harry’s contact was the first on her screen, a few swipes and there would be a message to get him to her.

He steps impossibly closer, their chests touching, his breath hitting her face. His height is much shorter than she remembers, her fingers tapping anxiously against the bar as her eyes try to make contact with her friends or anyone that could see that the situation was uncomfortable.

And before Amelie could realise what was happening, Jack was leaning in to kiss her, his breath hot on her mouth, her head turning quickly as he grabbed her forearm, his lips hard and rough against her cheek. Her lips parted as she squeaked, her hand pressed against his chest, pushing him away. Her vision fades into flashing stars and her cheeks heat, all of the blood rushing to her head.

He stumbles backwards, fumbling into the security guard. His eyes fade into darkness that Amelie doesn’t recognise and there is this pit in her stomach that is making her want to be sick. Her eyes squeeze shut, trying to picture herself anywhere but where she is, anticipating his hand on her jaw and forcing her to kiss him like he likely would have, until one of the bartenders walks towards her, gently setting her hand on her shoulder and nodding towards the security guard, eyeing the situation.

Amelie is barely able to make out the words that are being said to her, only the thoughts about getting outside, to the fresh air, to the one setting where her lungs could get oxygen and feel full. Talia and Mylie nearly run over to her, grabbing her hands and her phone and bringing her outside, their concerned voices making her head feel like it’s going to implode at any given moment. Her hands are shaking as she messily scrambles to call the only person that would understand her, that would help her.

His phone barely reaches a second ring, his breathing slightly heavy through the receiver. His voice is rasped and worried as if the air was knocked out of his lungs the moment she called.

“Harry?” Amelie hiccups, her throat tight and tears falling down her cheeks.

“Doll, what’s wrong?” Harry whispers, his legs swinging over the edge of their mattress and reaching for the nearest trainers.

“’m out and ‘m scared,” she mutters, her breathing shaky as she walks further away from Mylie and Talia and beneath a light, her phone tight against her cheek, her body pressed against the brick wall. “Need to come home, Harry. I need you. I want to come home.”

“Mon ange, ce qui se passe?”

“’m sorry ‘m calling so late,” she chokes, trying to catch her breath.

“Hey, hey, j'ai besoin que tu respires pour moi,” he soothes, his voice calming and talking her through. His fingers brush through his hair, drying the sweat that gathered there. His voice is tense, hating that he’s not there to talk her through her panic attack, to squeeze her hand and remind her that he’s there because he’s sure that she’s near the point where she might go unconscious because of how heavy she’s breathing. “Don’t have to apologise to me. ‘m always here. Can you tell me where you are?”

“’m at some bar,” she says shakily, drying her eyes and trying to see anything she recognised around her. “Haven’t been to this one before, I don’t think. Mylie and Talia wanted to try it.”

Harry is starting to get nervous. He knows her. He is sure that she wouldn’t have called unless something was really wrong. That’s when he knows. He is sure that he knows what was making her feel uncomfortable, or who rather, and the thought alone makes him livid and his fists grip the duvet.

“Can I come and get you? Would that be that alright?” Harry questions nervously, a quiet hum in agreement all that was needed. He walks downstairs, mumbling that he would be right there, his hands reaching for a sweatshirt to toss over his torso to avoid meeting the bitter air. “Getting in the car, now,” he says, his fingers tugging at his roots and bringing it to a knot on the top of his head, the length becoming a burden with the knots and the strands sticking to his forehead. “’m gon’a stay on the phone until we’re together, alright?”

“Okay.”

And the line goes silent for a minute, Mylie and Talia walking over with their boyfriends and talking to Amelie, yet every thought in her head is spinning and she wishes that Harry would talk more to take her mind away from the feeling of his lips on her cheek and the harsh grasp that he had on her arm. His touch stung, cold and bruising, much like a wasp stinging the centre of someone’s chest. Her breathing is shaky, coming in pants, and Harry’s about to swear at every stoplight that he hits on his way to her.

Twenty minutes is twenty minutes too long.

His thumb drums dramatically against the steering wheel, his eyes scanning over the outside terraces of restaurants and bars and the nightclubs scattered in between. “Can you tell me what happened? Can you tell me why you want to leave?” Harry’s fingertips tap against the screen, using the directions to her location to guide him. Hearing her take a breath; Harry isn’t sure he wants to know the answer, even though that’s what he has to do. “Do you want to wait until we’re together?”

Amelie sucks in a breath. “Had fun at first,” she says very slowly, the alcohol evident in her voice, “and all ‘f us were dancing, drinking. Mylie and I wanted more, and it didn’t look like the line for the bar was too crowded, and it was me that offered to go. Felt someone touch m’ back but didn’t know who. Turned around and it was, you know.” Her voice goes silent. “He leaned in and said something ‘bout you, he smelt like booze,” she whispers. “’m not even sure what happened but ‘e went in to kiss me and I pushed ‘im away. I was really uncomfortable, Harry.” He can hear her start to cry, again. All Harry wants is to be holding Amelie in his arms, comforting her. “That’s not, I just. He isn’t supposed to do that.”

“No,” Harry breathes, trying to subdue his anger. He is furious. Only with Amelie’s luck would Jack be there the one night that she decided to go out without him. Jack was the reason Amelie only went out with Jenny or Harry, to begin with. Harry should’ve been there, with her, protecting her. Guilt rises into his chest, his throat, and he thinks he might be sick. “He isn’t supposed to do that. That’s wrong. This isn’t your fault, you know that, right?”

Amelie nods her head, oblivious to the fact that Harry can’t outright see her.

His chest heaves with a staggered breath as his tires roll to the nearest parking space, the sight of her making him want to collapse. Her eyes are hooded, and her cheeks are puffy. He could only imagine how hard she’s been crying. He can imagine that she’s nearly gone unconscious, by now. “Can see you, baby. I’ll be right there.”

“Okay,” Amelie mutters, ending their call and turning slightly to where the slamming sound was coming from, Harry’s body coming into view as his feet pound against the pavement running towards her.

“Hey,” Harry whispers, immediately wrapping his arms around her head and pulling her into his arms, his lips touching her hair, his hands holding her tightly into him. “Are you alright?” Amelie grips onto his sweatshirt, squeezing her eyes shut and trying to only think about his breathing and his scent and his heartbeat that is beating in her hears with her head against his chest.

“Harry, we didn’t even know it was him,” Mylie rushes over, her hands tucked into her pockets, her heart breaking at the sight. Amelie always appeared so beyond the thing with Jack – not that they really knew what happened other than a messy breakup – but this put everything in an entirely new perspective. “Thought it was someone just watching us because of you two, honestly.”

Harry doesn’t want to blame Amelie’s friends. His frustration, his anger, his guilt, is begging him to blame someone other than himself. “Not your fault.” His hands gently brushing through Amelie’s curls and trying to soothe her. “Have they kicked him out?”

“Think so.”

“I’m going to go in there and talk to someone,” Harry says, his hands gently dropping from around Amelie’s torso and causing her to panic.

“Harry,” Amelie whispers dryly, barely lifting her head from his chest and squeezing his hips, “Harry, no.”

“Alright, alright,” Harry sighs, returning his hands to her hair and kissing her hairline, “you’re okay.” His cheek rests on her head, his eyes meeting the worried eyes of her friends, “Don’t worry, I’ve got her.” He kisses her hair, squeezing her shoulders and whispering, “Can I take you home? Can we go home?”

Amelie nods against his chest, grabbing his hand and interlocking her fingers with his, her body walking one step ahead to make the distance between where she once was. Harry opens the car door for her, kissing her temple and wiping the tears on her cheeks before moving back.

“Can you kiss me?”

“Course,” Harry smiles softly, disheartened by the trepidation in her voice. Her cheek turns to him, a tear wiped by her thumb as he whispers, “On your cheek?”

“Mhm.”

Harry’s heart sinks to his stomach. His lips gently touch her cheek, kissing away a tear that betrays her and falls against his mouth. He kisses her jaw, her cheek, her temple, making his way to her mouth to kiss her deeply, longingly. Her hand grabs his as he’s about to walk around and get into the car, her eyes flicking between his lips and his eyes. He kisses her, giving her reign, allowing her to mould her lips in whichever way she wants against his.

Harry has to take a breath, guilt washing over him in the worst way. He could’ve been there. He knows that she hates going out without him or Jenny. He knows that she doesn’t feel safe that way, that her anxiety is too overwhelming and makes her feel that way. Harry knows that Amelie wanted to prove that she was making progress more so to herself than anyone else, and she would have been so excited to tell him that she went to the bar all by herself and the night went great.

Until it didn’t.

“Have about twenty minutes until we get home,” Harry says, easing onto the street and beginning their journey home. “Glad you called me. Thank you for calling.”

“Had no idea what to do,” Amelie whispers dumbfounded, the alcohol still swirling in her brain. “Kept trying to press on your contact but m’hand was shaking and I couldn’t get it.”

“Hey, hey,” he soothes, kissing her knuckles and squeezing her hand, the volume on the music silent. “Everything’s alright now. I’m here. You’re safe.”

“Did I wake you?” she wonders, wet eyelashes pressed on her cheeks, her lips pursing together as the red tint of her lipstick begins to fade away. “Didn’t mean to.” Her hand reaches for the water settled in the console for her, taking a heavy sip and letting the cool liquid smooth down her throat.

Harry snorts, shaking his head and pressing a hard kiss to her hand. “Didn’t wake me, angel.”

“Oh no.”

His chuckle vibrates his chest, his heart warm as a smile tugs longingly at the corners of her lips. “Don’t think you want to know what I was doing.”

“Well, I mean, now yeah, since you’ve teased it, I want to know. Especially, since now, we’re together at a bright,” Amelie says, staring at the time on her phone and waiting a few seconds for the digits to process in her brain, “two in the morning.”

“Look, sometimes, things get a little, hard, and you have to do some things,” Harry begins, his lips curved in the cheesiest smile, a hard laugh bellowing from his chest as Amelie slips beneath the seatbelt and further into the seat, her hand covering her eyes. “You asked!”

“Oh my god.”

“Thinking of you, if that helps any.”

“No,” she says, biting her bottom lip to suppress a laugh itching at her throat, her cheeks flushed with his confession. “No, Harry, it really doesn’t.” Harry turns to stare at her, quirking his eyebrow suggestively and nodding his head. “Okay, a teensy bit.”

Harry and Amelie talk quietly about nonsense the rest of the way home, trying to distract from the sexual tension and the lingering conversation waiting to be had eventually. Her thighs were held tightly together, her hand and her phone between her legs, his hand holding hers on his thigh and away from the tent in his jeans.

Harry’s hand lingers on Amelie’s lower back as they walk inside, his hands gently holding her hips to make sure that she wouldn’t stumble going to their bedroom upstairs, her knees slightly shaky and her words drawn together as the alcohol begins to wear through her system.

Amelie’s eyes flicker to the alarm on the wall near their bedroom door. Harry nods towards the ensuite, his lips pursed together as her fingertips begin to take her clothes and toss everything into the laundry bin, taking her favourite robe from behind the door and wrapping it tightly around her torso. Harry waits for the three beeps before following her, frowning as she harshly takes a washcloth and begins rubbing at her cheek.

And Harry knows why.

“Baby,” Harry whispers, making eye contact in the mirror before setting his hands on her shoulders, gently rubbing her muscles and kissing her hair. “Gentle with yourself.”

“Can feel it on my skin,” Amelie whispers, her eyes welling with tears at the thought. “Want it to go away.”

“Can I do it? I’ll take it all off.” Harry waits for Amelie to nod, his hands holding her hips and lifting her onto the bathroom counter, her thighs spread slightly for him to stand between. “Love the way you do your makeup, you know. Always makes your eyes so bright.”

His hands gently wipe away the tears and the foundation and the running mascara, revealing her bare cheeks and supple lips and soft eyes, begging to be peppered with kisses. He kisses her cheek, his breathing choking in his throat as he waits to see how her reaction will go. Her cheek leans into his hand, her lips turning to meet his and her hands holding his shoulders, the kisses languid and sloppy and sweet.

“Come on,” Harry breathes, circling his hands around her waist and gently setting her on the ground, walking around her and turning on the water. “Know you better than anyone and the only way for you to avoid a hangover is a shower and a good night’s rest.”

Amelie wonders, hooking the robe near the shower door and stepping under the warm water, her hair wet and clinging to her skin beneath the pour. Her eyes meet his through the glass wall, her arms folding in front of her chest. “Coming in?”

“Don’t know if that’s such a good idea,” Harry sighs, scratching the back of his head. He wanted nothing more than to be in the shower with her, to be touching her – even innocently – and telling her that he loves her. He wants to tell her now more than ever.

“Harry, ‘s just a shower.”

His fingers tuck between his teeth, biting at the skin nervously. He shrugs, nodding and pushing his jeans down his legs and slipping his shirt over his head. “Alright, alright.”

“Not even briefs?” she giggles, her fingertips gently massaging her shampoo into her hair, all of her movements drawn out with the lingering alcohol in her veins.

“Go on,” he laughs, stepping inside the shower, squeezing her shoulders and nudging her to turn under the water, his body slightly stepped to the side, “turn around and let me rinse out your hair. Gon’a got soap in your eyes if you keep opening them to talk to me.”

“Takin’ care ‘f me,” Amelie smirks, wrapping her arms around his torso and pulling him into her, puckering her lips and tilting her head back to inch her lips towards his.

“Always will,” Harry says assuredly, kissing the corner of her lips and gently squeezing out the water in her curls. “Could literally ask me to give you the clothes on my back and you’d have them.” His hands reach for her sponge, gently running the soap and water on the material and coasting it along her skin, kissing her neck and she leans into his touch.

Her voice is quiet, the water running over her skin as his hands gently rub into her shoulders, the muscles that tightened with the anxiety and the panic slowly loosening enough to allow her to have a night’s rest and to reconvene in the morning. His touched her hairline, allowing her to lay against his chest and have the water wash over their connected skin. “Have you seen anyone since we went on, you know.”

“On a break.”

Amelie nods, “That.”

“Haven’t seen anyone but your beautiful face every day,” Harry smiles softly, his thumb dragging along her cheek and his lips pecking her temple, his hands reaching to turn off the water and grab a towel from the rack nearest to them. “You’re it. Always.”

Amelie walks onto the rug first, holding onto Harry’s hand and wrapping the towel tightly around her torso her feet pressing into the fibres to dry and avoid slipping on the damp tile. Her hands reach for his warm sweatshirt on the counter, her hands rummaging around the drawer in their wardrobe for her favourite pair of silk shorts and pulling the material up her thighs.

Her voice is quiet as Harry gets dressed behind her, the cotton briefs clinging to his hips, his hair dried in a towel as she tucks the sweatshirt sleeves over her hands and walks to the bedframe, sorting her side of the bed and opening up the duvet for him to climb into.

“Cosy in that?” Harry asks, turning off the bathroom light and shutting the door, all of the lamps slowly beginning to turn over and the room becoming bright only by the moonlight shining through the thin curtains.

Harry’s fingers are about to shut his light when Amelie whispers, “Dumbest thing I’ve ever done was talk about that break.”

“Didn’t really give you much of a choice,” Harry sighs, turning to look at Amelie and sitting his back against the headboard.

“Have a choice, now,” she says, swinging her thigh over his waist, and straddling him, her fingertips coasting along his chest, her lips peppering kisses from his jaw to his neck.

“Hey,” he whispers, his head tilting slightly to allow her lips to make suckling marks on his neck. Harry was Amelie’s, undoubtedly and unabashedly. “Doll, we shouldn’t.”

“Baby.”

“Don’t want the first time we make love to be when you’re drunk, Ames. Don’t want you to regret that,” Harry gulps, his hands holding her thighs, gripping onto her lightly and feeling her skin under his fingertips.

“Could never regret you,” Amelie confesses, gently bringing her lips to hover over his, hot breaths panted over his mouth. “Kiss me, then. Not a fake kiss. Kiss me like you love me.” Her words are interrupted by hiccups, and Harry couldn’t find her more attractive – freshly showered, holding onto him, kissing him, wanting to profess how she feels; that’s more than he’s gotten in nearly a month. Her eyes meet his with all sincerity. “’ve been, dreamin’ about this.”

Harry’s thumb lightly pulls her bottom lip, “Have you? Missed these lips.”

Amelie kisses his fingertip, “Mhm.”

His fingers brush her hair away from her face, his hands cupping her jaw sweetly and kissing her cheek. “Are you sure?”

Her hands wrap around his wrists, having his hands firm on her face and unable to move. “Mhm.”

“Ames.” His voice is barely above a whisper, mouth inching towards her wet lips, the slight flush of pink on the flesh making his stomach flip with butterflies. His mouth is longing to be on hers.

“Je t’aime,” Amelie says, a smile tugging at her lips as Harry’s eyes move away from her lips and meet her stare, surprise and love overwhelming his emotions and features, “and I want you to kiss me.”

“Je t’aime,” Harry grins, brushing his nose against hers and lightly pressing a kiss to her lips. “Could listen to you say that for the rest of m’life.”

“And you will.”

Harry’s lips crash onto Amelie’s, their mouths messily colliding, their rhythm slowly building from sloppy to sweet, perfect alignment and steady intake of breaths as their tongue taste the lingering mint and tequila that is between their lips. Harry moans into her mouth, soaking in the way her fingers slowly inch into his hair and scratch at the nape of his neck, his hands holding her thighs and her back, their arms tightly around each other, barely giving space for their lungs to intake any oxygen.

Amelie’s kiss is begging for something more, desperate for Harry to take away whatever is lingering in her brain. Maybe it’s the anxiety. Maybe it’s the underlying doubt that they won’t work out a second time around. Maybe it’s the memory of someone else’s lips on her skin that she never wants to feel again. Harry answers it all with his lips on hers, kissing her cheeks and her mouth and her jaw and her cupid’s bow, leaving a bright red mark on the cut of her jaw below her ear and whispering his love for her.

Harry’s kiss is longing, aching for more of Amelie. His hair longed to be tugged by her, his neck marked by her teeth, his skin scratched by her nails, his sensed overwhelmed by her scent. He wanted all of her immersed in him, to be in her skin and knowing her. He wanted to erase the memories of anyone that’s ever hurt that, that’s ever made her feel like she deserves less than every star in the sky. His lips are slightly harder against hers when a tear slips down her cheek, needing her to feel his love deeper than the surface.

Her hand trails down his chest, lingering over where their thighs meet. “Have to give you a cut on tequila, Amelie Fay,” Harry chuckles dryly, gently moving her hand and bringing her fingers back to his hair. “Can’t resist you when you come home when you’re like this.”

“That’s what I love,” Amelie smiles, tucking a stray curl behind his ear. Her lips touch right below his ear, gently marking his skin.

“Fuck,” Harry breathes, gently sliding further into the duvet and bringing the covers over Amelie’s back, tucking their bodies together and his hands settling over the curves of her bum and trailing up her spine.

“Knowing that you have that control shows that you really love me,” she whispers against his skin, gently kissing over his jawline and making her way to the corner of his lips. “That’s good, you know, because, I love you.”

His eyes well with tears. Harry needed Amelie to say that more than he thought. “I love you. God, I love you. Don’t leave me, ever again,” he croaks, his fingers tangling in her hair and gently coaxing her to meet his glossy stare. “Need you, angel.”

“Need you,” Amelie murmurs, her thumbs gently wiping the tears from beneath his eyes. Her heart is thumping so loudly in her chest that it can be heard in her eardrums, a bass drum kicking a new beat. All that she wants is to have Harry’s lips on hers. “I love you. Je t’aime.”

“I love you. I’ll love you to the ends of the Earth. Do you hear me?” Harry breathes, his lips realigning with hers and making a home on the mouth that knows his so perfectly.

Her voice is hushed against his lips, barely breaking apart their kiss and the moonlight fanning over their bodies in the middle of the mattress. His hands are planted on her hips, firm and steady. “Don’t let me go.”

“Never, Ames. I never will.”

Harry can only pray that Amelie will feel the same in the morning.

“Oh mon Dieu. Oh mon Dieu. Oh mon Dieu.”

Harry could hear the panic in her voice. He’s only heard the stress and anxiety in her voice like this a few times, namely when they’re arguing, and there is a twisting in his stomach that is telling him that whatever is going to happen isn’t going to be good. He stirs, slowly prying his eyes open and blinking to focus his vision, the clock on his phone reading 06:28.

They’ve only been asleep for four hours, and Harry knows that Amelie’s had a nightmare that she didn’t wake up from.

Amelie’s hands were covering her face, her hair slightly matted from sweat and his fingers and the way he was tangled in her hair as they kissed. And the way the whole scene is panning out, it’s as if there is no recollection of the night before, her hands running over her body, ensuring that there are clothes covering her skin and the stickiness is only from the closeness of their bodies throughout the night. Amelie reaches to take Harry’s hand away from her hips, her knees pulling to her chest and her fingertips pushing against her temples.

And the panic attack is in action, full force, without a sign of hesitation or hindrance. Harry can see it happening.

“Fuckfuckfuck,” Amelie mumbles under her breath, her heart pounding so hard against her chest that she swears Harry could hear it from beside her. “Harry, I need you to let go of me.”

“’ey,” Harry murmurs, the rasp in his voice coating every word with exhaustion, “tell me why you’re panicking. Can tell me, I’m right here. ‘s only a nightmare, you’re safe.”

“I, I.” Like that, every word in Amelie’s vocabulary is beginning to disappear. All she can see is the balcony and the promise of fresh air and the slight possibility of her heart to quit beating against her ribs in a way that would make it implode and rupture. “Let go, please.”

Harry immediately loosens his grip. He can see her making a mental path to the balcony and his heart falls to the pit of his stomach. He reaches for a pair sweatpants that are strewn on the chair near the vanity, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and yanking them onto his hips. “Jus’ le’ me turn the alarm off. One minute.” Harry walks to the bedroom door, clicking the buttons to turn the alarm to the setting that wouldn’t blare a horn when she opens the door. “Doll.”

Harry’s eyes follow Amelie as she rushes outside, satin shorts on her hips, her knuckles turning white as she holds onto the railing for dear life, as if moving would make the entire world turn upside down and she would be the first to fall. On the corner of the horizon, the sunrise is beginning to show promise of the new day, the dew clinging to her skin and slight breeze of the morning chill hitting her cheeks. Her thighs are covered in goosebumps, but there is nothing she can feel besides the heat of her blood pressure in her cheeks. He rubs his eyes, trying to gather all of his words and thoughts and wake himself enough to at least know why she’s panicking.

“Oh mon Dieu, je t'ai appelé. Je n'aurais pas dû appeler,” she murmurs, her words slurring together in a string of sound. “Qu'est-ce que je fais, bordel?” Heaving breaths, her chest is tight, the overwhelming weight on her lungs suffocating her.

Oh my god, I called you. I shouldn’t have called. What the fuck am I doing?

Harry takes a second to try and grasp what she’s saying. He can’t comprehend what she’s saying that quickly and that jumbled. “Say it again. Slower, please.”

“This is,” she says quietly, pausing to think but every word and thought is scrambled and making her head hurt. “Can’t breathe.”

“Ames,” Harry says calmly, taking a breath and standing beside her against the railing. He is well aware that she doesn’t like to be touched during a panic attack, that’ll it’ll cause her to hide away and never speak, but she has to see him, “slow down. Talk to me. Called me at the bar, last night, remember? Came home with you. Only us, here.”

“Can see everything,” Amelie whimpers, her fingertips curling around her hair, her nails scratching her scalp, her eyes squeezing shut. “Had a nightmare and it wasn’t you touching me. Can’t make it stop.” Harry’s eyes are fixated on her, his body seeming too close even though he is far away. “Don’t want to see it, again.” Her chest is rising and falling rapidly, and Harry is sure that she’ll pass out at any moment if she doesn’t take a breath. He sighs as she turns away, laying her palms flat against the bench that decorated the space beneath the lingering window – the bench that she chose nearly a week after she moved in.

“Know that, baby,” Harry breathes, leaning his back against the balcony and watching her every movement, careful to not overwhelm or scare her. His voice is soft and soothing, all of his words chosen very carefully and particularly. “Want to take it all away from you.”

“But you can’t, Harry,” Amelie says desperately, taking a seat on the bench, her fingertips digging into her knees, her eyes set on the flowers beneath the balcony and in the garden. All of her hope is drained from her voice. “He’s never going to go away.”

“Amelie, that’s not true. Don’t start thinking backwards, now.”

“Do you think I did something to want to be this way? Is that why you said the things you did? Do you think that?” Her voice cracks between sobs, her chest shaking beneath the tears and the unsteady breathing. Her eyes can barely open with how heavy the tears are. “Harry, I don’t know why I’m like this. This wasn’t my choice.”

“Mon ange, écoutez-moi,” Harry whispers, his stomach twisted into knots and a sob lodged in his throat. He should’ve never said the things he did. Never. “Know that this wasn’t your fault, none of it. Have nothing to say for m’self other than ‘m a proper arsehole.” He takes a step forward, their feet barely touching. “Have had a lot of time for reflection and learning over the last month, you know. Understand a lot more, now. Don’t have to forgive me, but I am sorry, Amelie. I’m so sorry.”

Her fingernails scratch at her bare skin, leaving crescent marks in her flesh. “Jack told me I was going to be alone. He told me and I didn’t believe him,” Amelie sniffles, her teeth biting at her bottom lip and tearing at the skin. Her tongue swipes over the flesh, taking the blood that trickles from the cut. “You’re going to hate me like everyone else. You are. Only a matter of time.”

“You think that I’m going hate you,” he sighs, taking a seat from the corner of the balcony and bringing it towards the bench, his knees knocking with hers and his fingers set on his thighs, nervous to take her hands. “You think that I could hate the love of my life.” Harry’s eyes meet Amelie’s when she lifts her head – he knew that would bring her attention to him. His heart falls into his stomach, taking in the tears staining her cheeks and the bright red circling her eyes. “I’ll never hate you.”

“Can’t believe you,” she mumbles, taking the sleeve of her sweatshirt and wiping her skin roughly, scratching at her cheeks and heaving a staggered breath into the fabric. “Anxiety, it ruins everything. Depression, it ruins everything. Me, I ruin everything.”

“No, you don’t ruin everything.”

“Our holiday was ruined by me.”

Harry’s lungs collapse in his chest. “Our holiday was not ruined by your anxiety. Us staying inside an extra day or two and leaving two days early didn’t affect our holiday in the slightest.” His hands hesitantly reach for hers, his throat swallowing a cry when her hands retract further into her sleeves. “Could have gone home the very next day with you and it wouldn’t have mattered to me.”

Having a spiral on holiday effectively ruins it, Harry.

“Can you listen to me fo’ a second? One minute, that’s all.” Amelie nods silently. “Haven’t felt this much guilt in a long time, and I am sorry. There were so many opportunities to make the conversations and the behaviours that were triggering to you stop, and I didn’t take them. Overstepped a boundary that you had and that was wrong.” Harry’s thumbs gently wipe the tears falling down her cheeks. “Had every sign that you needed me, that you were having anxiety, that your depression was there, and I did nothing. That’s all my fault. Not yours. Have every right to be mad at me, to not forgive me.” His heart squeezes so tight in his chest at the thought of her never forgiving him that he thinks he might break into sobs. “Don’t have to forgive me, that’s okay. Need you to know that I know what I did, I’m sorry, and I’ll never do it, again.”

I forgive you. I forgive you and I love you. That’s what Amelie wants to say. “Je n'aurais pas dû te laisser tomber amoureux de moi. I’m sorry I don’t communicate, and I tend to react on my emotions. I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you. Je suis désolé de ne pas suffire. Tu mérites mieux.”

“Don’t say that, Ames,” Harry whispers, aggressively wiping away the tears that fall down his cheeks and itch his skin. “Couldn’t have stopped me from falling in love with you if you tried and you are more than enough to me. All I want is you, you and me. Don’t you dare say that.” His eyes are welling over with tears, desperately wishing that they could go back to last night, where they were smiling and kissing and promising to be together, that they love each other and always will.

“Harry, you’re going to fall out of love with me. One day you’re not going to want me,” Amelie says, her jaw clenched as she wipes her eyes and stands on her feet, avoiding Harry’s reach for her hand and stepping towards the balcony railing, her eyes meeting the bare colours of the flowers in the garden.

“That’s not true, angel. I swear on my life. I swear to God. I love you,” Harry cries, pushing his body from the chair and sliding it away, disheartened by the way her shoulders tense at the words and her jaw tenses. “I love you.”

And despite the way Amelie refuses to turn around and utter the three words that Harry so desperately wants to hear, Harry knows that Amelie loves him, that she’s in love with him. He has to believe that, otherwise, all of his defences and will to let the words her anxiety is spewing from her lips pass without regard will disappear and he will break. But she needs him, right now, and he refuses to abandon her. Harry refuses to let Amelie slip through his fingers, again.

“But our hatred is almost indistinguishable from our–”

Harry knows that Amelie’s anxiety can make her second guess everything, to make her overthink and believe in the falsities that have been told to her time and time again. Her thoughts make a façade making her believe that she is undeserving of the love in her life, and all the kindness that encompasses her. Her heart wrenches and twists and squeezes against her ribs, hiding away from saying the three words that she desperately wanted to, making an exterior that would guard anyone against ever touching her soul and her emotions and love, that would protect her in the least convincing way. All that Amelie’s gone through to be where she is, to make the art she creates, to love the way she loves, to treat others way she does, is played into the thoughts that make her question all of behaviours and reactions and relationships.

Anxiety makes her mistake the love in her life with hate for herself, and Harry refuses to let that happen again.

“Finish the quote, baby,” Harry says, standing behind Amelie and sucking in a deep breath. “But our hatred is almost indistinguishable from our–”

“From our love,” Amelie whispers, releasing her grasp on the railing and taking a step backwards, returning to her seat on the bench. Her head is pounding and there is a heat creeping onto her cheeks, her blood pressure raising under the sporadic breaths leaving her chest.

“Tell me you love me, angel. Need you to tell me that you love me, baby. You have to remember that feeling,” Harry says slightly louder, slightly more abrasive, taking another step away from her to allow her to move without touching him, “and unless you say that you don’t love me, you’re not moving, you’re not leaving me.”

“Don’t shout at me.” Harry wasn’t shouting. Not yet, at least. He can feel himself getting ready to yell, though. He is ready to yell at the thoughts in Amelie’s brain that make her second guess everything she does, that make her feel like she’s not worthy to be loved by him, that make her feel like she isn’t enough.

“Fine,” Harry’s voice is bitter as he resumes sitting in the chair set in the middle of the balcony, his arms folded in front of his chest. “That’s fine.” He stares at her blankly, his emotions unable to be portrayed on his face. “Guess we’ll stay here all fucking day.”

This is where it ends, her anxiety says. This is where he falls out of love with you. This is where he kicks you out onto the streets and makes you go to your parents’ house, where you have to move out in a week and find a place to live and somehow pretend that you aren’t in love with him and have to settle for someone and marry them just because they like you enough. This is why you ended up with Jack. This is why bad things happen. This is why. This is.

“Um,” Amelie chokes out, tears beginning run along her cheeks, her skin burning with the heat of her blood pressure, “you know, I can go. I’ll leave. I’m sorry. I should go. I’m so fucking sorry. I ruin everything. I didn’t mean to do this. I don’t want you to hate me. I’m sorry.” Her head is pounding so deeply in her temples that she has to squeeze her eyes shut, the tears falling onto her bare thighs, and she swears that if she makes one sudden movement, her mind will go unconscious.

Harry leans forward in the chair, sliding slightly forwards and leaning over his knees, their legs barely touching. “Did I not just tell you that you’re not leaving until you say you don’t love me.” He heaves a sigh, standing on his feet and walking to the railing, defeat etched into his features and sadness echoed in his words. “Tú devez arrêter de faire cela. Tú dois arrêter de me faire ça. ’m begging you to stop running away. You’re saying all of these things and insisting that you have to leave. Arrête de parler de partir et parle moi!” Harry shouts, slamming his hand into the metal bannister, his knuckles white as he clutches onto the rail, his body turned away from hers as she clings to the edge of the bench overlooking the garden, every muscle in her body frozen and unable to move. “Arrête de nous faire ça et dis moi ce qui ne va pas.”

You have to stop doing this. You have to stop doing this to me. Quit talking about leaving and talk to me! Stop doing this to us and tell me what’s wrong.

Say something, her brain screams. Say something before he hates you.

And quiet washes over them.

Harry swallows a sob, turning around and walking to Amelie, his feet carrying him over to the bench, his body uncomfortably kneeling against the concrete, his hands holding her thighs, making her feel his touch, making her know that he is there. “Je sais que tu m'aimes.”

Amelie’s eyes barely meet his, tears streaming and the light eyes that Harry knows are washed out, blurred, dim. Her hands shake against his, her chest rising and falling much too rapidly. All of this, every tear and shaky breath and unsteady hand is a make of anxiety and a nightmare and a toxic relationship. Harry wants to take it all away.

That’s the thing that Harry doesn’t understand. All of Amelie’s boundaries have disappeared with him. All of the guards to protect her heart and her brain and her soul. All of the measures to ensure that she never fell in love, that she never gave herself the opportunity to broken.

Harry has made all of that disappear, and that is what is so terrifying.

He has made her fall so in love that she would impulsively make any decision to see him, to touch him, to kiss him, to be with him because he said the three words that she needs to hear. He makes her feel so sure of herself, that she doesn’t think twice about it. He makes her feel like she is everything and anything, that she can do everything and anything.

That is the scariest thing; there is someone that makes you feel so loved, that you feel like you can do anything. Love is that powerful.

“Tú ne savez pas que,” Amelie whispers, desperately trying to break the intensity that is building between them. Telling Harry that she’s in love with him would prove her point, that the love that they have has broken every boundary she has ever set for herself, that she has ever set to protect herself. “Je vais tout foutre en l'air. Je vais te faire me détester.”

“Listen to me, baby, please,” Harry pleads, grabbing her hands and interlocking her fingers with his, squeezing and kissing her skin. “There’s nothing you could do to mess with you and me, that could fuck us over. Could never hate you, Amelie, ever. Have to believe me on that.”

One day you’re going to hate me. One day it’s going to happen. I am so afraid of that day. I don’t want you to hate me.

“Regarde-moi dans les yeux et dis-moi que tu ne m'aimes pas,” Harry retorts, secure in his judgement and every word that is rolling of his lips.

Look me in the eye and tell me that you don’t love me.

Harry is angry with Amelie – angry that the anxiety is winning and that all those thoughts are going to change the way she sees herself, the way she sees him, the way she sees their relationship. Harry is angry with himself – angry that he hasn’t done enough to make sure that all those thoughts are gone, that they are deep enough in her worries that they’re never a second glance, that they’ve almost disappeared from the atmosphere. Harry is just fucking angry. “Have to say that, because that’s the only thing that could ever screw this up, fuck this up. That’s the only thing that could ever make me hate you.”

“Can’t do that,” Amelie mutters, sucking in a heavy breath and willing her eyes to meet his. Harry’s features portray his exhaustion, now, and her heart aches knowing that she’s caused this. She loves him. Amelie never wants him to feel this way. Harry moves only slightly, his arms gently coaxing around her waist and slowly encouraging her to stand. He wraps his arms around her, only tight enough to ensure that her knees wouldn’t give out, his face leaning away to stare at her. He can feel the sobs being held in her chest, the tightness in her breath, the shakiness as she clutches onto his back. “You know I can’t say that.”

“Pour une fois, s'il te plaît, arrête de te battre contre mon amour pour toi.”

For once, please, stop fighting against my love for you.

Harry’s voice is barely above a whisper compared to her rasped tone, thick with tears and regret and anxiety. “’s not that simple, Harry.” Harry releases her when she takes hold on the railing, his hands holding the metal beside her body, uneasy with how shaky she is against and frightened that she might fall. “Don’t deserve for you to love me, like this.”

“Tell me why. Tell me why you aren’t allowed to be in love. Tell me why I can’t love you.”

“Can’t,” Amelie murmurs, sucking in a heavy breath and turning around, tucking her arms in front of her chest and facing Harry, his eyes meeting hers and his arms tightening closer by her sides, holding her between him and the metal railing. “Can’t have a love like this.”

Harry is frustrated, his breathing heavy, his body adjusting the weight in his legs and making his eyes meet level with hers. “’m asking, no, begging, you, do not shut me out. One of your rules is to never leave someone that needs you. Guess what? I need you. Anxiety makes you think that no one needs you. Depression makes you think that no one needs you. I need you, Amelie. I fucking need you.”

“Harry.”

His cheeks stained with tears, his eyes glossed over and etched with pain. “Have all of me with you, and you promised that you wouldn’t leave me, that you need me.” Harry is desperate for Amelie, now. “On that day you scared me nearly to death because you wouldn’t answer m’calls or m’texts, remember, you told me you would never leave me. On the phone last night, when you were plastered and petrified to come home, our home, alone, you said you needed me. On our bed, last night, when we were kissing and touching, when you were clinging to me and squeezed me and kissed me, you said you always wanted us together. Can’t have you say goodbye to me this way, not when you promised.” Harry’s eyes are etched with pain and fear. He is afraid of what she is going to tell him, more so, what her anxiety is telling her to say. “Tell me this isn’t goodbye, fo’ fuck’s sake. I’m begging you, now, Ames.”

“This isn’t goodbye. This isn’t it. I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Amelie says quietly, her heart breaking watching the emotions move through his body. “I need you; I do. I need you, Harry. I’m not fighting you anymore. I’m sorry. I’m scared, I’m really scared. I’m sorry. Je t’aime. I’m sorry for everything. Je t’aime.”

Harry wraps his arms around her waist, his face tucked into her neck, tears wetting her skin, his hands squeezing her hips, gripping her sweatshirt in his fists. His grip is telling her that he’s there, telling him that she’s there. “Don’t fucking scare me like that ever again. Makin’ me think you can’t love me anymore.”

“Okay,” Amelie agrees quietly, untangling her arms from her chest, circling around his shoulders, her fingertips finding the baby curls at his neck, her face falling to his neck and her lips breathing out a sob. “’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologise. Don’t,” Harry says flatly, his hands squeezing her torso, her chest tucked tightly against his, physically melting into his touch.

“Harry, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” she cries, shaking her head against him, holding him tighter. “’m sorry.” Harry waits to say anything, knowing that she isn’t quite finished. “Gotta get better. Give me time.”

“J'attendrai avec tu,” he whispers, gently ghosting his fingers along her skin, reaching to take her cheeks in his hands and slowly bringing her to face him. “I love you. You’re not doing this alone.”

I’ll wait with you.

Harry takes a breath, gathering his emotions and steadying his breathing, his thumbs tracing over her cheekbones and drying the stray tears that stained her skin. “Je suis désolé, je n'ai pas pu le voir. Couldn’t see that things were getting bad.” His chest is so tight, his lungs could implode. He could apologise. He could make things right. He could fix this. “Wasn’t there for you like I should have been. I’m sorry. Going to be different, now, I promise.”

I’m sorry I couldn’t see it.

“Je ne voulais pas être un fardeau, that’s why I didn’t tell you,” she mutters, gently kissing his palm, her eyes glossy as she stares at him. “Going to talk to you from now on, I promise.”

I didn’t want to be a burden.

“’ey, you are never a burden,” Harry assures her, his lips touching her forehead, her nose, her chin comfortingly. “Could do nothing to make me not love you or be in love with you. Quite literally, you are everything to me.” All of Harry’s love pours through his words. “Only thing I need in this fucking life is you. Only you.”

“I,” Amelie breathes, squeezing her eyes and blinking away her tears, having a moment to gather her courage, the three words she has to say stuck in her throat. “I love you.”

Harry chastely touches his lips to hers, his heart breaking as he feels the tears stain his cheeks. He savours in the way she tastes, the way she kisses him with so much passion he knows her heart is his without having to say a word. His thumbs brush her cheeks, his lips repeatedly kissing hers for comfort, for love, for reassurance.

Harry doesn’t know what’s going to happen when his mouth leaves hers. He doesn’t know what she’s going to say and how she’s going to react. He doesn’t know anything other than his love for her, and the love that she has for him.

Harry remembers the quote that Amelie marked from their favourite novel, the one that reminded her of him, the reminded her of how she felt about loving him. All of it, every ounce of love that he has for her, all of the thoughts and dreams and feelings for her, everything makes sense.

They were meant to love each other.

Kissing her cheeks, her nose, her forehead, Harry lets his lips linger on her hairline, his arms around her shoulders, bringing her into his chest and holding her tightly. Her hands are squeezing his torso, her face tucked into his neck and sucking in deep breaths, steadying her shaking and trying to process all the thoughts in her head.

“Can feel you thinking,” Harry whispers, his mouth on her hair, his eyes taking in the way the sun is beginning to rise over the mountains far off in the distance and the birds are beginning to sing their morning song.

“Thinking about Finch and Violet, and the Jovian-Plutonian Effect and the Moon,” Amelie tells, her fingertips drawing on his skin and her lips parting with the heavy breaths reaching her lungs. Her cheeks are starting to feel cooler, her blood pressure slowly lessening and her head beginning to feel less achy. “Think we were made to love each other, somehow. Don’t know how that happened, but I’d like to think we were.”

Harry grins, his arms loosening around her shoulders and his hands cupping her cheeks, his mouth tilting into a kiss and soaking in the way her lips so perfectly mould to his. “I love you. I love you so fucking much.” His words are rushed over, needing to have her kiss, the sensation intoxicating and enticing. All that Harry wants is to share his love with her so intimately. “Je t’aime.”

“Je t’aime,” Amelie breathes, squeezing his hips and gently sponging kisses along his jaw, making a light path to his ear. “Fais-moi l'amour.”

His head tilts to meet her lips, his hands gently coasting along her figure and wrapping under her thighs, encouraging her to settle on his hips, her legs tightly circled around his waist and her arms squeezing his shoulders, the balcony door quietly shutting as they messily walk towards the bed, as their breathing hitched together as their mouths entangle in longing and loving kisses. His heart is thumping against his ribs, nearly extending through his lungs and radiating through his fingertips. Her skin is glowing beneath the rising sun, his fingertips trailing over her cheeks and tucking beneath the hem of her sweatshirt, pulling the material over her head and tossing it onto the ground. Her fingers shove the waistband of his sweats down his legs, their movements wanting and hurried.

“Missed this,” Harry breathes, light kisses feathering across her chest, suckling over the moon tattooed on her sternum, his hands dragging her silk shorts down her legs and laying a kiss on her calves as he slinks over her naked body. “Missed you.”

“Missed you,” Amelie whimpers, a moan echoing around their bedroom as Harry’s fingertips gently taste her arousal, his thumb rubbing circles over the bundle of nerves between her spread thighs, her fingers wrapped in his hair as their kiss becomes more passionate and heavy with the wetness on their skin. “Entrez en moi.”

Harry nearly groans at the thought, “Might not take me that long since all ‘ve been using only m’hand for nearly a month.” His weight is supported on his forearms, his hand tugging at his cock, heavy in his hands, his thumb dragging her arousal over his throbbing tip and teasing her heat. “God, ‘ve missed being this close to you. J'ai manqué de faire l'amour avec toi.”

Harry and Amelie gasp in unison as his cock gently eases into her core, her warmth swallowing him, her velvet walls taking all of him inch by inch, her thighs around his waist and her muscles soft under his touch. His hips are flush against her pelvis, thrusting and grinding into her, his thumb drawing patterns on her nerves as her fingernails scratch at his back, dragging along his spine and breathing as his cock reaches her hilt, sponging against the sweetest spot inside of her. “Harry.”

“Love you,” Harry moans, his lips suckling on her throat and marking her skin with a bright magenta bruise. His pelvis grinds with the arch of her hips, her heels digging into his bum and bringing his cock as intimately inside her warmth as physically possible. Her arousal sounds around the bedroom as he thrusts into her, the wetness on their thighs and their sheets and their moans encouraging the sweet love. “Fuck, I love you.”

“I love you,” Amelie whispers, a tear falling down her cheek with the pleasure and the orgasm growing so deliciously in her stomach, squeezing his cock tightly inside and feeling as though the emotions and the love and pleasure is bringing her face to face with heaven. Harry was heaven. “Want you always.”

“Have me,” Harry grunts, his thumb pressing to her bundle of nerves and groaning into her neck as her orgasm spills around him, milking his orgasm inside her warmth and squeezing him deeper, her thighs shaking around his hips. His mouth presses kisses into her cheeks as their orgasms wash over their bodies, her glossy eyes meeting his as he whispers, “you fucking have me.”

All of Harry’s thoughts are jumbled and in disarray as the café comes into view. Amelie’s mural is painted on the concrete wall opposite of where his car is parked, and his forehead rests against the steering wheel for a moment, trying to centre his thoughts and not make any unreasonable decisions. He isn’t quite sure what made him turn down the wrong street and go in the opposite direction of the café that he and his girlfriend – that feels so good to think and say – get their coffee and breakfast from.

Maybe it’s the anger. Maybe it’s the hurt for Amelie.

Harry was lying beside Amelie in their bed, brushing his fingers through her curls, his lips touching her hairline as she sleeps soundly in his warmth. His skin was sticky, sweat covering his forehead and his hair slightly damp, his chest slowly rising and falling with his breathing. He finally was where he wanted to be, with his favourite person, speckled purple bruises appearing across her skin. He was taking in the sight, the way her skin shone brightly under the sun and the quiet hum of her breathing was making his heart beat faster.

And then before Harry could fully process what he was thinking, anger was the only emotion speaking to him, overwhelming his thoughts, thinking about the beautiful woman tucked in his arms. He kissed her forehead, tucked the comforter tighter around her naked body, his fingers tightened the string of the loose-fitting shorts around his waist and shoved his feet into the trainers near their bedroom door, walking quietly out of their house. Harry didn’t want to worry Amelie. He wasn’t going to do anything stupid.

Until Harry was doing something stupid.

“Harry! How are you, mate? Saw Amelie the other day,” Jack smiles devilishly, and Harry’s fists clench together. Amelie described that smile, the one that is a stroke of mischievous and malicious, and Harry could see why his features would make her nervous on sight. “Lookin’ better than ever, isn’t she?”

“You and I need to talk outside,” Harry says through gritted teeth, his keys tucked in his back pocket, his wallet and phone abandoned in his car. “Now.”

“Don’t think we do, Harry.”

“Jack, I swear to God,” Harry grunts, rolling his eyes and folding his arms in front of his chest. He’s taller than Jack, a bit more built muscularly, but there is a tone behind every word that comes out of his mouth that is threatening.

“Be right back,” Jack mentions, two or three younger workers staring awkwardly and shockingly at the interaction happening. Harry walks outside first, barely holding the door for Jack to follow suit.

Harry walks around to the mural, standing a few feet away from Jack and creating their distance. Jack takes one wrong move and Harry is ready to knock him straight in the jaw and never look back. One for Amelie. One for Harry. “Alright,” Harry spits, pursing his lips together as his jaw tightens, the intensity lingering in the foggy January air swelling over. “Firstly, I’m not your mate, I will never be your mate. Secondly, how the fuck did you know Amelie would be at that bar, last night? Do you fucking follow her or summat?” Jack opens his mouth with a smirk, Harry’s hand immediately waving his answer off. “Don’t fucking answer that.”

“Don’t worry, Harry,” Jack shrugs, pulling a cigarette from his pocket and lighting it, moving to stand against the mural and setting the nicotine between his teeth. “That was just a coincidence. Good coincidence for me, but a coincidence nonetheless.”

“Wipe that fucking smirk off your face,” Harry growls, his bottom lip pinched painfully between his fingertips, his eyes a deep shade of green that would be unrecognisable to anyone that stared at him. “I swear to God, Jack, if you ever say anything to Amelie, again, if you go to see her, if you blink towards her, if you even breathe near her, I will not hesitate to break your fuckin’ jaw.”

Jack chuckles, flicking the ash and taking a drag, blowing the smoke directly outside of Harry’s vision. “Do you ever stop to ask yourself why she always comes here? Out of all the bakeries and cafés and coffee shops, Amelie keeps coming back here. Why is that?”

“Hasn’t come here in six months,” Harry retorts, laughing at his insinuation. Amelie’s gone to The Beachwood nearly every day since they moved in together in August. His mind is well aware that his words are meant to get a rise, and it’s scary how much it’s working on Harry’s temper. “Don’t feel fucking flattered. She liked the coffee and your mother, you fuckin’ prick.”

“Did you ever think it could be because Amy misses me?” Jack teases, pursing his lips and shrugging his shoulders, the cigarette burning with a sizzle under his fingertips. “Maybe, I treated her better.”

Harry is seething, his cheeks puffed out with panted breaths and tears pricking his eyes with how angry he is. “Don’t fucking call her that. After all you did to her,” Harry scoffs, shaking his head and twisting his heel in the pavement. “Left me, her boyfriend, to be the one to change everything. You’ve got to be fucking joking.”

“Could think of a few things we did together.”

“Jack, you’re fuckin’ treading on the thinnest ice.” Harry walks closer to Jack, laughing as the cigarette falls to the ground and smashes under his trainer, their chests barely missing each other, his breathing erratic as the anger builds inside of him. His fists are clenched, and his knuckles are white, and there is sudden gratitude for putting all his rings on his hand before leaving their house. Harry wanted it to hurt if anything were to happen. “One more thing is said, and it’s a promise that you’re done.”

“Harry, tell me, do you think it’s because I gave it to Amy better than you?” Jack taunts, his arms crossed in front of his chest as Harry’s fist begin to slink further up his body. His words make Harry want to vomit. “Bet Amelie thinks of me.”

And everything goes into darkness.

Harry swings, punching him swiftly in the jaw and the nose, shaking out his knuckles, his rings twisted on his fingers, the taunting boy planted on the tarmac, his back pressed against the mural on the wall as his mother comes barrelling outside. Jack struggles to stand, his nose bleeding heavily and an imprint of Harry’s rose ring on his cheek.

“Harry,” his mother gasps, her eyes wide and her hand covering her mouth at the sight of her son stumbling to stand on his feet, “what’s happened? I don’t like the look of this.”

Harry doesn’t know when he began crying, but there are tears on his cheeks and his breathing is erratic and there is a heaviness in his chest that could only be relieved by the girl sleeping beneath their duvet. His throat gulps a cry as he gathers his voice, the dark smile on Jack’s lips making his anger worsen. “Tell her what you did to Amelie. God knows you’ll live your life pretending it never happened, but you hurt her.” His voice is barely above a shout, the humming traffic and busy streets barely drawing attention to the two men fighting behind a café and an older woman trying to understand the reason. Harry refused to tell what happened – that wasn’t his story to tell – but he would make sure that someone told the truth. “Fuckin’ broke her down to bits.” Harry’s cheeks stained with tears, thinking about how broken his girlfriend was telling him what happened for the very first time. He’ll never erase the images of her face and the fear in her eyes when she told him what happened. “Amelie made me promise that I’d never tell anyone, but you should know that he did unspeakable things. He isn’t allowed near her, ever again.”

Harry looks at Sarah with a despaired expression on his features, a worried line written in his forehead, his lips pulled into a tight line and a nod acknowledging the end of their conversation. Her eyes travel between the two boys, fighting over malicious behaviours and abuse. “What have you done, Jack?” Her heart aches for the boy staring at her son, hatred in his eyes and a tear falling down his cheek.

Harry stalks away before their conversation can meet his ears, his fist clenching and unclenching to bring the feeling back. He angrily climbs into his car, locking the doors and taking in the sight in the mirror. His hair is falling out of the knot on his head, his knuckles red and bruised and bleeding, his rings scratching at the cuts made there.

Go home. Go home to your girl. Go home and love her.

Harry reaches for his phone, eyeing the five missed calls on his screen. His fingertip goes to click on Amelie’s contact, another call breaking through. He answers, bringing his phone to his ear as the engine in his car turns over and his head lays back against the headrest, his mind fully blank and his eyes seeing flashing colours.

“Harry,” Amelie sighs, “baby, I know where you are. Come home to me.”

Harry is sure that she’s only woken up a few minutes ago, the slight distance and rasp in her tone telling him so. “He deserved to have someone smack his face in,” Harry grits, hissing at the feeling of his thumb rubbing over his cut knuckle. “Fucking cunt.”

“Did you do something?”

“Yeah.” Harry can hear Amelie sigh disappointingly through the speaker. “Don’t know what he was saying to me, though, Ames. He deserved it.”

“You’re right,” Amelie agrees, breathing into the speaker and pausing to collect her thoughts, “and he does deserve that. But I’m here and I don’t want you getting hurt or in trouble.” Her silence is deafening to Harry. “Come home.”

“Don’t even know how I got here,” Harry breathes, looking at the café and the way the street is suddenly silent. “Honestly, I going to get us breakfast, and I looked up.”

“It’s okay,” Amelie breathes, her tone softening with her words, sensing the anxiety that is overwhelming Harry and trying to calm him. “You’re okay.”

Harry settles into his seat, shifting the gear and beginning to drive, his hand wiping away a tear and trying to gain composure of his emotions. “Coming home, now.”

“Good.”

Harry is seemingly mindless the entirety of the twenty-minute drive. All of his movements are done without intention, the directions and the attention and the calculated motions all felt without emotion and thought in his brain. His heart is heavy, aware that his actions might have caused harm to the only person that he cares about. He should’ve thought his actions through. He should’ve been more aware. Harry was just angry.

Going over all of the apologies in his head as he walks inside, Harry chokes out a breath as Amelie wraps her arms around his shoulders, bringing her into his chest and holding him tightly, his hand barely able to reach and shut the door behind them as he melts into her embrace. “Hey, baby.” His lips touch her neck as she hugs him tighter. “God, it feels good to have you in m’arms, again.”

“I love you,” Amelie says, gently coaxing Harry’s face out of her neck.

“Feels better to hear you say that,” Harry sighs, kissing her sweetly and squeezing his arms tighter around her waist. “I love you more.”

“Come on,” she smiles, kissing his cheek and interlocking their fingers, squeezing his hand, her eyes trying to avoid the cuts and scrapes covering his knuckles. “I’ll make you a coffee.”

“Are you sure? That’s a lot to handle in the kitchen,” he teases, tossing his phone and wallet and keys onto the side table and following her into the kitchen, his heart swelling as he takes in her minimal appearance – the vintage shirt that she wore on their first date and a simple pair of cotton panties on her hips – and the comfortability that she has with him. That’s all Harry wants.

“Considering I’m making lunch, right now, I don’t think it’s all too much to handle,” Amelie giggles, wiggling her eyebrows and rolling her eyes as Harry tucks his arm around her waist, clinging to her as she pours him a mug and walks towards the toasty press that his mother bought for the holidays.

“Lunch, hm? How fancy of you,” Harry hums, releasing her and moving to sit on the freshly painted stool near the island, amused at the way there was always a sense of fear whenever Amelie was in the kitchen.

Amelie turns over her shoulder with a pointed stare, her eyes squinting at Harry as his lips tug into a smirk and hide a laugh. “Don’t just stand there if you know I’m going to ruin it.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, love.” Harry sets the mug on the counter and uses the tongs to pull the toasty out of the press. “How do you burn everything?”

“Good question,” she says, sipping quietly from her straw and staring at her boyfriend as he walks around her to clean the mess she’s made of their lunch. “Have to have you cook for a reason.”

“Don’t go anywhere,” Harry says, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and pulling her into his chest, his hand over her tummy, frustratedly unplugging the machine and bringing out the menu for delivery. “Fuck it, I’m ordering pizza. This is hopeless.”

“Have to clean your hand, Harry,” Amelie whispers, her fingertips running over the bruised and distressed skin, dried blood accumulated across his knuckles.

Harry shakes his head, kissing her hair and taking Amelie’s phone to ring the restaurant. His eyes widen as she takes the phone from his hands, setting it on the opposite side of the counter. “’s fine, angel.”

“Baby.”

Harry and Amelie stare at each other for a minute or two, silently arguing over who would win this argument. Her arms wrap around his waist, her cheek lying against his chest, her fingers gripping his waist in a tight hug, silently hoping that he’ll give in to her. She doesn’t want to know what was said to him, but she has to. Harry needs to hear that it isn’t true, that whatever thoughts were put in his head aren’t real. There wasn’t anyone to say that to her, and she refuses to let him ruin their relationship. Harry is everything to Amelie, and there isn’t anyone that’s going to get in the way of that.

He silently kisses her hair, squeezing her hip and telling her that she can lead the way. Hand in hand, they walk into their bedroom and to the bathroom, Harry sitting on the toilet and leaving his hand over the counter for Amelie to clean and bandage the right way. Her silence is overwhelming, and Harry wonders if she’s angry with him.

“Tell me what Jack said to you.”

His chin lifts from his chest, “Doesn’t matter,”

“Harry,” Amelie sighs, tears pricking her eyes as Harry winces with the sting of the peroxide, “tell me. That’s the only way I can tell you that he is wrong.”

He thinks for a moment and tears well in his eyes as he thinks about all that was said to him. “Coughed up saying you miss him and miss being with him,” Harry whispers, a tear falling down his cheek in betrayal. “Fuck.”

“Harry, baby,” she says, her thumb gently wiping his cheeks, her fingertips ghosting over his bruised knuckles.

“Can’t stop seeing you, fucking sixteen and abused by this prick, and he has the audacity to say those things to me,” he whimpers, stealing his hand away and covering his face, his elbows on his knees, his mouth covered by the heels of his hands. “Can’t stop seeing it. Need it to stop.”

Amelie’s cheeks flush with a heat of anger. “Bébé, bisous, s’il vous plait. Je t'aime. Putain, je t'aime. J'ai besoin qu'on oublie toutes ces choses qu'il a dites. Je veux l'oublier.” Her gentle voice is hurried and melodic, her hands prying away his from his face and bringing his eyes to meet hers. “Bisous. S'il vous plaît.”

Baby, kiss me. I love you. I fucking love you. I need us to forget all those things he said. I want to forget it. Kiss me. Please.

Harry’s hands grasp Amelie’s cheeks, their lips melting to each other and their tongues tasting the salty tears falling onto their skin. Her fingers grip onto his shirt, her thighs straddling his waist and her eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks as his hands roam across her figure. “Je ne te ferais jamais de mal, tu le sais, n'est-ce pas? J'ai besoin de savoir que tu le sais.” Harry stands, holding his arms under her and walking into their bedroom, their lips melted into a rhythm as they kiss and share their unspoken love, taking away all that was ever said against them. All that there is in this moment is Harry and Amelie.

I would never hurt you, you know that, right? I need to know that you know that.

“Oui, je sais.”

Harry lays Amelie gently on their unmade mattress, gently kissing along her jaw and neck, his hands lifting her shirt to kiss the pudge at her hips. “Need to kiss where he hurt,” he whispers against her skin, his mouth trailing wet kisses on her inner thighs and the tattoos that cover her legs. “Need to erase all that hurt from you.”

“Can’t you realise that you have? Made me see that I’m so much more than what happened,” Amelie whimpers, her thumbs running over his lips as his chest lays against her, her legs wrapped around his waist and his forearms beside her head to carry his weight. Kissing over his cheeks, his jaw, his lips, she says, “I love you. I do.”

“Love you,” Harry murmurs against her lips, soaking in the way her warmth encompasses him, “Love you to the planets that haven’t even discovered yet and wherever the hell you are. Would go to the ends of the Earth for you.”

“Know you would,” Amelie smiles, gently nudging their bodies forward and her fingertips prying her shirt away from her torso, leaving her skin naked and bare to Harry’s eyes. “Don’t you think I’d meet you halfway?”

“Know you would.” Harry smiles, kissing Amelie’s belly as his fingertips tug the cotton down her thighs and her fingers pull his shirt over his head messily. All of their kisses are messy, and their teeth are gnashing, and lips are being bitten in the sweetest way, the way that means they love each other so deeply and unconditionally that there is nothing else in the world that matters except their way their hands are touching each other.

And then Amelie’s phone starts vibrating.

Harry groans, his hands squeezing Amelie’s hips and pressing a chaste kiss to her lips to try and persuade her. “Don’t want to answer it.” His breath is hot against her mouth, intoxicating and making her want to ignore the call. “Ignore it.”

“Harry,” Amelie whines, “Could be Jenny in labour.”

“Fine.” Harry reaches for Amelie’s phone, swinging his leg over her thighs and settling on the edge of the mattress, his hand reaching out to make her wait as she goes to grab her shirt. “Don’t get dressed, yet.”

His fingertip slides on the bottom of the screen, their best friend’s voice echoing through the speaker and making a smile come to Amelie’s features. Her arms wrap around his shoulders, her cheek lying against his bare back as she snuggles into him. “Don’t care if you two are in the middle of doing it,” Jenny says, breathing heavily and groaning as a contraction begins to wash over her. “Have to get to the hospital because I’m in labour.”

Harry’s eyes roll at the way Amelie smirks at him, her fingertips tickling his tummy as he squeezes her hands. “Ha.”

“Holy shit,” Harry breathes, “Alright. We’ll be there soon.”

“Told you,” Amelie giggles as Harry hangs up the phone, laying on her back and tugging at his hand as his head turns over his shoulder, his eyes meeting hers. “Better make this fast.”

Harry cocks his head to the side, his eyebrows rising and his eyes blinking rapidly to ensure that he really heard her correctly. “Doll.”

“Baby.”

Harry stares at Amelie in awe. Her smile is spread across her lips and her eyes are narrow as she desperately tries to persuade him to bury beneath the comforter with her, to have his skin melting into hers, to kiss her and pretend that they are the only thing in the universe that matters. His heart is pounding so heavily in his chest because she is the only thing in the universe that matters to him. Amelie is everything – all the colours, the stars, the sun and the moon, the songs and lyrics and melodies, the art and literature and the good and the bad. Amelie is all of that and more.

“I love you.”

Amelie grins, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and kissing him sweetly. “I love you. Always.”

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versatilewindow · 4 years

Text

A Night in ‘Las Vegas’ (its actually Daphne’s mansion)

Find it on Ao3!

Summary:Party at Daphne's, Velma experiences requited gay panic. Written for @scrubyjay<3

A/N: if u asked me a week ago what id be writing, scooby doo lesbian fanfic definitely wouldn't have been anywhere near my mind. im kinda surprised i even had this much to say about them.

In the past few years, the Mystery Gang had made a habit of meeting up before a new semester of college started to relax and hang out before their studies took over their lives. Daphne was hosting at her childhood home (as she called it, though most would consider the estate a real true mansion) as usual, (Her parents were off on their yearly honeymoon or what Daphne would call their regularly scheduled time for absolute debauchery among other acts that are certainly in a legal grey area.) and she had full reign of the staff and tonight's event. This semester’s theme was “A Night in Las Vegas”, meaning the gang would be dressed in their best cocktail outfits, and that there were actual slot machines and gambling tables, complete with dealers using rigged card decks to make sure no one would threaten the casino’s nightly earnings, not that they were actually gambling it’s all for realism.

This was the week before most the gang’s final semester, most as in Shaggy decided that he’d rather learn some cooking skills on the job rather than some pompous 75 year old teacher at the nearest cooking school, not realizing he would instead have to deal with an egotistical 40 year old going through what was surely the world’s worst case of mid-life crisis. The rest of the gang was spread around the country, Fred was at the local state college on a football scholarship, studying business and was the VP of the school’s biggest fraternity. Daphne was studying investigative journalism at Colombia, if asked she went to school in New York, and she was in fact related to the Blakes financially backing the new Blake scholarship for students studying journalism. Velma was at Stanford double majoring in Criminal Psychology and Forensic Science, and was set to continue her studies in a Phd program at Harvard.

Out of all the gang, Velma was the most excited for the night, she rarely got to see the others because of the physical distance between them. She walked up the marble steps outside the front doors of the Blake estate, duffel bag in tow, (they always ended up absolutely sloshed at the end of these dinners, opting to stay in one of the many guest rooms with plush king sized beds rather than waiting for a taxi) and pressed the buzzer which linked to a pager on the butler’s uniform. It was only a few moments before Jenkins opened the heavy oak doors.

“Ah, Miss Dinkley, glad to see you’ve made it here safely, would you like someone to take your bag to your room?”

“No, thank you Jenkins, Daphne wanted to get ready together and I have some things I’ll need in the bag. Is she in her room?”

“Yes, allow me to escort you there.” With that Jenkins turned into the Foyer, walking under the first of many grand chandeliers, and up the grand blush pink marble stairs towards Daphne’s suite. Before she knew it they were in front of the door to the bedroom.

Jenkins knocked on the pale door, “Miss Blake, Miss Dinkley has arrived.”

“Oh Yes! Send her in please! The door’s unlocked!” A light rustling was heard behind the door as Jenkins opened the door for Velma, revealing Daphne moving towards her vanity in a silk lavender robe that ended mid thigh. “Velma! I’m so happy you could come early!” The taller woman changed her course towards the shorter one, who seemed almost frozen in the doorway. “Come on in! Thank you Jenkins, let me know when the boys have arrived.” Jenkins responded with a light bow before swiftly turning away, no doubt to continue the prep for tonight's event.

Velma walked in the room, closing the door behind her, and setting her bag down on the loveseat in front of the room’s TV. “I’m glad I could make it too, I wasn’t sure if I would’ve been able to trade shifts with someone at the bookstore, but Sarah S., remember her from high school? She was trying to avoid a family event that was going on earlier today, her aunts are always setting her up on dates and she didn’t want to deal with that again. So it all worked out!”

Daphne smiled at Velma, “Oh Sarah’s wonderful, I almost forgot she worked at the bookstore too during the breaks. There’s a robe for you in the bathroom to change into before we do our manicures.” Velma turned into the attached bathroom, quickly changing into the orange silk robe she usually used while at Daphne’s, the light geometric patterns reminding her of all the sleepovers the two shared in high school. Stepping out of the bathroom, Velma saw that Daphne had already set up the station to paint their nails. “So what’s tonight’s color scheme for you? I’m going with glittery hot pink.” Daphne had started with the base coat already.

“I brought an orange leather skirt, and I was thinking of a black top, but the options I brought don’t really fit with the cocktail dress code for tonight.” Velma sat down across from her friend in a dark luxurious chair, fiddling with the collection of polishes in front of her.

Daphne grabbed a mid-tone orange from the selection, “Don’t worry about your top, you know I have a lot to choose from.” The smile on her face was audible, and she continued, “If it’s the leather skirt I’m thinking of, it would pair great with this sheer, flowy turtleneck I have.” Daphne’s delicate hands grabbed Velma’s, and with skillful light touches started applying the polish. The two took turns with the materials, falling into a comfortable silence finishing the task quickly.

“It’s make-up and hair next, right? I have some things in my bag.” Deeming her nails dry enough, Velma stood and made her way over to the aforementioned bag, pulling out a travel toiletries bag that had her small selection of make-up. It’s not that she was against make-up in any way, it was really more for special events than the day to day, also her college-student budget meant some luxuries were limited, and make-up was on that list. Adjusting her glasses, Velma turned to where Daphne was standing next to the vanity chair, she had a slight pout on her face, the one she used to get what she wanted from anyone.

“Can I please do your make-up? You know I love to do it and you love the outcome every time.” The pout stayed on her face.

“I suppose I could let you do my makeup Daph, seeing as you’re asking so kindly.” Daphne let out a light giggle at the fake sass in Velma's statement. (They both knew that Velma would never say no to Daphne, with or without the pout, not that Velma would ever admit it.) Velma sat down, leaning against the back of the chair, removing her glasses and setting them down on the vanity to allow Daphne full vision of her canvas.

Feathery touches moved across Velma’s face, applying the primer on to soft moisturized skin. “Are you wearing contacts tonight?”

“I brought them, but I’m not sure I’ll remember to take them off before sleeping tonight.”

Daphne continued with the base make-up. “Don’t wear them, you look cute with your glasses.”

A light blush covered the tips of Velma’s cheeks and nose, it certainly wasn’t her first time hearing that phrase, but something about hearing it from Daph’s rosy lips made it different.

Working swiftly, Daphne made her way to the eyes, she grabbed Velma’s eyeliner, leaning in close to work on the wing. The controlled, concentrated breaths tickled the lightly covered freckles on Velma’s face, the flush from before continuing on strong through the powder pink blush Daphne already placed on the high point’s of her cheek bones. Daphne leaned away from her to examine the work done, hands lingering behind on Velma’s face, a satisfied smile appearing when she decided the two sides were even. “We’ll do lips after we change, you good on your own for hair?” Velma nodded while putting her frames back on to inspect the work Daphne had done on her face. It was simple, what she liked best, but it was better than anything Velma could do on her own. Daphne had perfected her technique in blending and choosing colors, if she didn’t know the other for years, Velma would’ve expected Daphne to enroll in a fashion and design school.

The two made quick work of the rest of their prep work, gossiping about the town’s latest scandals. (The Adam’s were being investigated for tax fraud, and the Miller’s were going through a particularly nasty divorce.) Velma straightened out her hair, smoothing it from the usual halo of frizz, stealing glances at Daphne while she did her own make-up and hair. Their gazes met each other once, staring deep into the other’s dark eyes for a beat before looking away as though nothing happened.

The evening drew to a close, night just beginning to settle in, the others would be here soon. Their attention was now drawn to the expansive walk-in closet in the room. Daphne pulled out the sheer turtleneck mentioned before for Velma, it had shiny glittery threads spread throughout, perfect for tonight’s event, and a hot pink sequined mini dress. They both changed in front of each other, as they had many times before, but something in the air was different, there was an unspoken tension between the two of them growing from the lingering touches and frequent glances from earlier. Velma looked up from her skirt’s zipper to see Daphne’s bare back in front of her, dress unzipped. She said a light ‘I got it’ before pulling the hidden zipper up the pale back, the dress tightly hugging the curve of the toned body before her.

The tension dissipated as they walked over to the rack of shoes covering a wall of the closet, Daphne thinking out loud, wondering if she should go with boots or a strappy pump. She grabbed a chunky platform heel for Velma, one she often borrowed, before deciding on black suede thigh high boots. Daphne’s pink phone pinged, a text from the boys, they were five minutes away. As she pulled the boots over her long legs, Daphne saw Velma staring at her thighs, pinked nose, where skin met suede, and blushed herself, not mentioning that she’d caught the other.

Shrugging this off, Daphne stood and walked out of the closet, to the door of her room, waiting for Velma. As the shorter walked to the doorway, fingertips touched the small of her back guiding her through. The two walked to the main room on the ground floor where it had been transformed to feel like a real casino, the lights were dimmed, 5 slot machines took up a wall, a dealer’s table next to the grand fireplace, tall, small tables with tea lights and stools took up the center floor, and two servants stood at the edge, one with a tray of hors d'oeuvres and the other a tray of champagne. Meeting the ladies at the bottom were their friends, and Jenkin’s informing them that dinner would be served within the hour. The boys cleaned up well, Shaggy’s usual mop of hair gelled back, with burgundy suspenders against a white button up holding up light green slacks. Fred opted for a more classic black and white suit, with a sapphire blue tie to add his own flair. Even Scooby looked prepped for a red carpet, his nails cut, a light almond scent from soap rather than his usual distinct dog smell.

The forty or so minutes before dinner was served went smoothly, Shaggy, Scooby, and Daphne spent their time catching up at the slot machine; Fred and Velma playing black jack while laughing about funny stories from the past semester. The waiters did their jobs, handing out each person’s favorite snack before the meal, or snacks in Shaggy and Scoob’s case, leaving no glass unfilled, although they insisted they all have at least a glass of plain water for every couple of refills.

Once it was time for the meal, the servants put their trays down to push the tables together, so the group could enjoy the dishes together. Daphne pulled her stool next to Velma’s brushing her hand against the smooth skin of the other’s thigh, and noticed how the seated girl’s relaxed, slightly tipsy posture tensed at the quick touch. The dinner continued with similar interactions, a tap of one’s foot against the other, a brush of knees under the table, dabbing away sauce at the edge of the other’s lips. If the boys had noticed these seemingly innocent interactions, they either didn’t care about the clear subtext, or were too drunk to even notice the tension growing with each lingering touch.

After they had finished eating, the ladies continued with their behavior at the table even though the others moved to the dealer’s table for poker. With a well placed hand on the other girl’s thigh, Velma took things a step further and gave a light squeeze, causing Daphne to get out her stool, pulling the other by the wrist to the nearest bathroom, offhandedly mentioning their destination to the hired boy bringing out chicken nuggets for Shaggy.

In the bathroom, Velma locked the door behind them as the taller girl pulled her onto the granite countertop in a rushed passionate kiss. Contrary to popular belief, Velma was no stranger to Saturday night party bathroom hook-ups, but she was in her childhood best friend’s home having a bathroom hook-up, with her childhood best friend no less. The flutter in her stomach that was growing during dinner, turned into heat and a blazing fire at her core as Daphne’s supple pink lips trailed down the side of the other neck, lightly biting where the top of the turtleneck ended. A quick hand undid the button at the top of the sheer shirt, allowing Daphne more places to nip and kiss. Velma’s hands pulled the other closer as a soft moan left her lips, making Daphne continue the attack at her neck with more vigor. With a light squeeze on her butt, the orange haired girl looked up from the other’s neck with half lidded eyes before asking, “do you,” a kiss on the cheek, “want to take this” a kiss on the other, “to my room?” a kiss on the nose, “I have some things there that could make this even better” a kiss on the lips. At this, Velma hopped off the counter, straightening out her disheveled clothes as best she could before unlocking the door and rushing towards the stairs, Daphne close behind with a large grin on her face. The only thing that pulled them away from their mission of making it to the room was a quick stop telling the boys they were turning in for the night.

The next morning, Daphne figured it was a good thing her parents insisted the boy’s sleep on the other side of the house.

Bonus: after the ladies mentioned they were off to bed

Shaggy turned to Fred, he was drunk, but sober enough to notice the smeared lipstick on Daphne, or the trail of lip marks down Velma’s neck. "You're gonna have to pay up man, did you see them?"

Fred slumped down onto the table and mumbled, "Why couldn't they stick it out a few more months till after graduation, I'll have your money on Monday."

A/N: uhhhh, velma got RAILED, lets leave that as the description for the smut. I would also like to get dommed by Daphne Blake. Lmk if u liked it!

#Scooby doo #velma x daphne #Velma Dinkley #Daphne Blake #wlw #implied smut #idk whats more wild me writing this or posting it at all

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artislifeevans · 3 years

Text

IIGive Your Heart A BreakIISarley

Who:Sam Evans and Marley Rose featuring Allison

When: August

Where: Sam’s Condo

Notes: Few Days after Charice and Dylan’s dinner party. Sam spends his day with Allison by the pool. Getting an unexpected vistor.

Triggers: None.

OOC: Sorry that we took this long to write this para and post it, but enjoy!

Sam: had been keeping to himself since the little get together at Charice’s and Dylan’s house. He just needed time to kind of put his thoughts together and process the fact that his brother was living with Charices and the kids. Don’t get him wrong he was so happy for them. They both have been through so much and he was so happy that they found each other once again. But he wasn’t going to lie. He didn’t know how things were going to go once they were gone. He kept telling himself that he will be okay! He had his four best friends and Marley. He smiled softly as he thought about Marley. Thinking how much he has really missed her. Marley has been gone for a couple of weeks spending time with her family. And even though They talk on the phone literally every day. He still couldn’t wait for her to get back. “Sammy look at me!!!” Screamed Allison, pulling him out of his thoughts. He looked up to watch his sister jump into the huge pool. “That’s nice Ally” he said smiling softly, as he moved his legs in the nice warm water. “SAMMY! Come swimming with me please??!”

Allison begged as she swam closer to the edge. Sam had been spending all of his time with Allison before she had to go back to Ohio. He wanted so badly for her to do her home schooling in New York with him. But it seems the longer Allison stayed with Sam the harder it was for their dad to get Allison to leave. “I’m gonna miss you when you leave.” He said sadly. Allison reached up for Sam to pick her up at the water, giggle softly as he did. “I’m gonna miss you too Sammy” she said softly, wrapping her arms around her brother as he placed her in his lap, hugging her back. “Why can’t Daddy just let me stay with you? He is always gone out of town with Renee..” she asked softly. Sam sadly sighed, rocking her gently, hating the little sobs that escapes her lips. “Nice going Sam!” He cursed himself. “Shhh it’s going to be okay! You’ll see me again before you know it! Besides Ohio isn’t that far! I’ll come get you every weekend if I have to” he assured her, not knowing that Marley was behind him.

Marley had let herself into Sam's place, knowing that she hadn't been here in a hot minute and it felt great being back. She walked through the house, looking for the man and stopped when she noticed that he was at the pool with his sister. She smiled softly before she slipped into one of the bathrooms, slipped on her swimsuit and put her clothes back on. She placed her bag that had gifs for Sam and Allison onto the couch, then walked back where the brother and sister was at and rested her chin on Sam's shoulder. "Besides, I can always swing by and see you, Allison." She smiled before she looked at Sam, fighting the urge to kiss his cheek and cleared her throat as she pulled away to stand up straighter. "And, if anything, your brother and I can always come and visit you, before we visit my family."

Sam: was so busy trying to comfort his sister that he didn’t hear anyone walk closer to them. Allison was the first one to react when Marley spoke “Marley!” She squealed getting off her brother to hug her. Sam chuckled lightly as he watch the two hug. “Hey stranger” he said, getting up from his spot. He stared at her, giving her a warm smile. He was so happy to finally have her standing in front of him. “Hey uh Alley.. why don’t you go see if Annie can bring us some snacks?” He asked. Allison nodded, letting Marley go “okay! But Marley don’t go anywhere! I need a swimming partner!” She said before running off. Sam watched his sister go back into the house, turning his attention back to Marley. He realized she was a little wet thanks to his little sister “ sorry about that... Um.. I can get you a towel” he said shyly. He grabbed the towel from table, walking over to dry her arms. “I-I’m glad you are here.” He said softly, looking into her brown eyes. He slowly rubbed the towel up and down her arms, not realizing that she was okay now. He so badly wanted to just hug her and kiss her but he didn’t want it over step his boundaries.

Marley laughed softly at Allison and watched the little girl head into the house before she turned her attention back towards Sam. She gave him a soft smile as she took off her shirt and then her pants. “Me too, I’m glad you’re the first one I saw.” She said as she reached down and interlaced their fingers together as she stepped closer to him. “Would it be okay if I kissed you? Because it’s been two months or something like that and all I could think about was getting back here to see you.”

Sam: got pulled out of his thoughts when Marley gently backed away, taking off her clothes to reveal her bathing suit. He chuckled lightly shaking his head “If I didn’t know any better. I would say you only came over to swim, Rosé” he teased. He smiled softly as she stepped closer to him, linking her fingers with his. He looked down at them interlaced together, before locking eyes with her brown ones. “I-“ he went to say, but shut his mouth listening to Marley speak. He wasn’t going to lie, it felt good to know that she missed him as much as he missed her. He reached over to place his hand on her face, rubbing rubbing his thumb over her cheek slowly. “It’s more then okay” he whispered, closing the gap between them.

Marley couldn’t help but chuckled when she heard him and shrugged a bit. “If it meant to see you and Allison, then yeah, I did.” She said with a laugh before she looked at him and leaned into his touch. She gave him a soft smile and kissed him as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “Hi,” She murmured into the kiss and played with some of his hair on the back of his neck.

Sam: smirked “well it feels nice to be wanted” he chuckled, wrapping his arms around Marley waist. “Hi” he respond as he captured Marley’s lips.

Marley couldn't help but smile when she saw Sam's smirk and took a step closer to him. "Good, because Im definitely going to show you how much I want you at some point." She gotten out before he captured her lips again and she slowly deepened the kiss. She slowly pulled away, remembering that his sister could walk in on them at any moment. "How about, I stay here tonight and sleep in my old room?"

Sam looked at Marley in shock. He never really heard her talk like that. Don’t get him wrong he had no complaints about what she said. But he just didn’t expect this from her “wow u-“ he coughed nervously “um I- what the hell happened in Ohio” he teased. He hugged her close as she deepened the kill, loving the way her soft lips moved against his own. Sam licked his lips once they pulled away, quickly getting nervous when Marley suggest she spend the night. “Oh well Marley.. I don’t want us to move to fast! You know? I mean I like you.. I like you a lot actually.. I mean who wouldn’t like you?!” He rambled on “you’re dropped dead Gorgeous.. And I have feelings for you! I mean I literally feel like I’m gonna throw up just from you being in front of me.. shit! I mean I’m not saying that you make me sick.. I just g-“ he trailed off realizing she said that she would stay in her old room”andddd you weren’t talking about sleeping with me were you?!” He said slowly. “Oh god just forget what I said okay” he walked backwards not realizing he was on the edge of the pool” I mean just erased that out of your mindddd” he yelled as he fell into the pool.

Marley smirked a bit and shrugged a bit. "Kinda explored the idea of a few things, when you know, we're ready for that step." She replied. She wanted to kiss him more, but she also knew that could wait until later. She felt her eyebrows raised as he spoke and held back a laugh before she shook her head. "Im, glad that you have feelings for me and not just kissing me for the hell of it." She shook her head again as he realized what she had said. "I mean, I wouldn't mind actually sleeping next to you but no, I wasn't talking about sex." She moved a bit closer to the edge of the pool and took off her clothes to reveal her bikini top and swimming trunks before she jumped in.

Sam: quickly swim to the edge of the pool, coughing up some of the water. “I mean I knew that’s what you meant” he said quickly clearing his throat. He silently wanted to choke himself, for being so stupid. He wiped the water from his eyes with the towel that was on the ground near him, looking over to see Marley in the water.

Marley spit out some water and wiped her eyes to see Sam and swam up to him as he talked. “Mhm, sure you did.” She said before she pulled herself up from the water and sat on the edge.

Sam chuckled lightly, climbing out of the pool along with her. “I did!” He said, sitting down next to her, putting his feet into the water. “I’m glad you’re here though... so much is going on. It’s nice to see a friendly face” he smiled.

Marley couldn't help but smile at Sam before she placed her head onto his shoulder and letting out a breath. "I bet and I can tell you the same thing, honestly. I was about go insane while I was in Lima."

Sam softly as Marley rested her head on his shoulder, "Well at least you got to see your parents.." he pointed out sadly. "Going back to Ohio is always hard... It reminds me so much of mom... I think that's why I always want Allison with me... She reminds me so much of mom.. and with Dylan going back to Paris.." he trailed off and sighed. "I feel like everyone is moving on with their lives.. and yet my life is at a stand still."

Marley reached down and interlaced their hands together as he spoke. She caressed the side of his hand with her thumb, listening to him and rested her chin in his shoulder as she looked at him. “It makes sense of why Allison reminds you of your mom and also you’re a great guardian to her, along with a great brother. You could always visit Dylan in Paris, and see Europe.”

Sam looked down at their interlaced fingers and gently smiled as he looked at the blue water. It felt nice to hear someone praise Sam on how well he is with Allison. Allison means the world to him and all he wants is to make sure that he is someone that she deserves in her life and more. "Thank you. I love her so much... Even though she is older. She will always be that two year old that loves to follow me everywhere I go." he sighed "With her little pink blanket." he chuckled at the memory. Sam nodded his head, looking at Marley. "Yeah.. I could do that.. maybe you can come with me... one day."

Marley continued to run her thumb along the side of his hand and listened to him talk. "You're welcome and I know you do. No matter what she is, she'll always be that little girl who basically wrapped her little finger around." She smiled softly as he spoke again and nodded gently. "I'd like that, very much."She leaned in and pecked his lips. "We should probably check on Alley, to make sure she's doing okay."

Sam nodded his head at Marley's comforting words. He was glad that she came over unexpectingly and he was also glad that he confiding in her how he was feeling about everything. It felt nice to be able to lean on someone other then his friends. Being with Marley right now, showed him that he had another shot at being happy and he was gonna do whatever he can to make sure he doesn't lose sight on what's important. He smiled softly as she kissed him, "oh yeah! That little monster owe us some snacks." he chuckled evily. He got up from his spot, reaching down to help Marley up, while running into the house. "Ohhhh Allisonnnn" he sing, looking around not seeing her anywhere. "huh.. that's weird.. Usually when I do that.. She is giggling while she is trying to hide." he said walking into the living room to see Anne placing a blanket on the tired nine year old. "oh shit.. Sorry Annie" he whispered, earning a head shake as she walked out of the room. "I guess playtime with Allison is put on hold." he whispered. He walked over to the huge couch, crawling behind his sister, wrapping his strong arms around her. He couldn't help the smile on his face, when his sister quickly cling time him. He looked up to see Marley still standing there. "Well... are you gonna just stand there. Or Are you gonna lay down with us."

Marley nodded a bit his words. "That, she does." She giggled when Sam pulled her up and quickly dried off before she slipped her clothes back on. She followed Sam into the house, stayed behind him as she glanced around, making sure that Allison didn't jump out at them. She walked into Sam when he just stopped and stood onto her tiptoes to see Allison asleep on the couch. Marley placed her shoes out of the way with giving Anne a soft smile and looked at Sam. "Im going to lay down with you guys." She whispered softly before she moved to lay down onto the couch.

#Para:Give Your Heart A Break #Dyfam rp #Sam Evans #Marley Rose

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colourful-void · 4 years

Text

Hoshiai no Sora Fan Movie Breakdown/Theory/I don’t know

Yeah I went mad so imma do theories now I guess. rip homework and fic.

spoilers for the fan movie, which is like 3 minutes and on youtube so just head over there, theres a link up here somewhere.

So first off, where’d the student council go?

Prez dances alone despite usually having some people watching and clapping behind her. They’re just gone!

Most of the first half is reused footage, so theres not much Ill break down, at least for now.

Once the outro is done, we cut to the final moments of Hoshiai Episode 12, as if we haven't had that scene burned into our brains.

Once that ends, we cut to this little card:

Which I think means two years later (according to this post which is honestly a way better post than mine, go read it.)

and then this card which according to google translate says ‘living that time’ I dont think thats right.

Let’s note we’ve returned to black on white background, and not the coloured on black of the title card at the end.

One of the best OST’s in the show plays (imo) and we get a little montage.

Rintarou and Taiyou go to the same school, good for them! They’re trying to get members for a soft tennis team (probably) but everyone around them is uninterested. They have more colour then anyone else in the shot, and are given more detail. part of that is because no one does background characters, but I think theres some symbolism there with them having their own little world of soft tennis, especially since Rintarou and Taiyou are known as the more energetic and friendly (or colourful!) members of the team. There’s also a baseball team walking in the background which I find interesting.

Tsubasa is angry and still playing tennis. If we follow his line of sight we find he’s glaring at (or at least guiding us to) the people in the back longing around and not playing. I can think of two reasons why he’s upset. One: because of everything that happened season one, he takes the game seriously and dislikes people slaking off. or two because it reminds him of his old team. I think one is more likely than two though. yet again anyone who isnt a main character isnt coloured in.

Shingou????? Is now at a strict school I guess?? The thing that stands out here isnt really him being at this school, (his parents could totally send him off) but he looks happy. Proud even. Not only is that contrary to the Shingou we know, but look around him. The background characters dont have eyes but they sure do have frowns. they’re also really gray, unlike Shingou.

iTSUKI GOT TALLER?? Lets note some things! The background characters have gone from being tinted a bit grey to entirely monochrome. The other characters have backpacks like Itsuki (idk the name but they hold tennis rackets) by beyond that, Itsuki doesn’t fit into the scene at all. Beyond just the colour, he’s not looking at the other boys, and it doesn't seem much like the other boys are looking at him. you could crop him out of the scene and the boys would look perfectly normal. The boys are also all wearing ties where Itsuki has a hoodie, giving him another way to stand out.

Now where everyone else had a still that zoomed in, we turn to my son, Nao.

He gets 5 shots, two of which are animated.

Note that when we see Nao’s hand all bandaged, the music takes a bit of a dip, making a static noise a bit like what we hear in some Nao scenes, or like a ghost.

So: Nao doesn’t play tennis anymore, clearly he either misses it or something, but in whatever case he thinks about it, and watches the others play. More than just play, he watches them celebrate.

Now look at the other boys who approach Nao. We get a bad vibe on instinct. I could be wrong, but it looks like the boy on the far right is the same boy who watched as another bully talked to Itsuki and then got bashed for it. Mainly just due to hair and him wearing a mask around his chin, which we haven't seen a single other character do. Actually, I dont think we’ve ever seen a Hoshiai character wear a mask, so it stands out.

Now, Nao’s knuckles are bandaged, which suggests he punched someone or something. I cannot picture him doing this. WE can see the bandages aren’t even, so he probably placed them himself, who whoever did it, did with little care.

Nao says: something. I can’t read lips or speak Japanese, but im not sure what Nao says is even readable. It has no audio, but the spooky noises continue. Music is now gone.

Cut to black.

Bird noises! Maki is watching their old sitting spot from afar, suggesting reminiscence.

Maki says something! I don’t know what, According to the other post, translated here on twitter, he says:

"Let's leave it be. He probably just doesn't want to see me again"

So that’s likely refering to Touma, or possibly his father but I doubt that highly.

Note: Everyone keeps their distance from Maki, Arashi still has his tennis bag, Mitsue has a very nice uniform and Yuu has a new bag I think, which is pink. Very cute.

Yuu is the only one we don’t see in any uniform (itsuki didnt have the tie but he had a jacket) so we don't know what school they go to, of what uniform they wear. Yuu and Mitsue stand close together, so we ca assume that friendship lives on.

I won't do shots of all of Touma’s dialogue but here's some:

And of course the most important shot,

Now: Touma is saying in this scene, thanks again to twitter, translator’s tweet is here go leave a like,

"It's pointless. He has no game sense. Why does he make the same mistakes? There's no point in continuing like this. Whatever. I'll find someone else"

So like the beginning, Touma is fed up with fellow soft tennis players.

Maki and Touma meet on a street corner and Touma frowns. Maki remains neutral.

long shot as they stare at each other and a train goes by.

credits roll.

So time for my final thoughts and theories and things I want to mention.

Maki hurt Touma with the knife. I know, its bad I dont wanna think it, but like,,, Occam’s Razor.

Whatever happened with maki’s dad, he didn’t get kicked out of school, he didn’t die, and he doesn't gotten any life long injuries

No one’s parents are ANYWHERE IN THE ENTIRE PV. for a show so dedicated on these kids relationships with their parents, that is striking. We don’t even see family members.

No teachers are seen either.

Aside from the beginning we don’t see student prez at all.

Why does Nao get extra screen time? like do not get me wrong I love him but everyone else only got one shot.

Background characters are near always painted in greys wand without eyes, except for whoever Touma was yelling at and the others in that scene. they still don't have eyes though, which is probably just because they’re background characters.

Most characters are alone, except for Rintarou and Taiyou, and the gang during Maki’s line.

Things aren’t looking good.

SO those are my thoughts/theories, hope you liked them, I'm gonna go cry over my son becoming a delinquent, good night!

#hoshiai no sora #stars align #maki katsuragi #touma shinjou #rintaro futsu #ishigami taiyou #nao tsukinose #frick it im not tagging everyone #knife mention #sry if this is bad im tired

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emybain · 4 years

Text

The Mall

im not gonna lie i lowkey based this off of my own (very few) experiences going to the nasty old mall in the next town over with my friends. lets just say: very worried parents, sticky atmosphere, and great people watching but also pedophiles left and right sksksks. the movie is also based on a movie I saw with friends when I was thirteen, but I saw it at the nice, trustworthy outlet mall closer to my house lmao. anyone else ever seen the boy? anyway, enjoy me projecting my awkward young teen experiences on the AU where Nova’s parents live. this is unedited as well:)

Part of the Nova’s family lives AU***

Masterpost of all my Renegades Fics

Nova was practically vibrating with happiness. She bounced up and down in the passenger seat of her mom’s car, leg jiggling in excitement. Only half paying attention to the radio, she hummed along to the music playing. Today was a new day. A breakthrough in Nova’s thirteen years of life.

For the first time ever, after countless hours and years of begging, Nova was being dropped off at the mall to hang out with her friends.

Her parents were what most would call overprotective. By this point, Nova was used to it, but it was still annoying when she had to miss out on fun activities just because Mom said no. They never even gave a clear answer when she asked why, too. It was always “Because we’re the parents and we say so,” usually followed by them telling Nova to go clean her room or entertain her siblings. Even with this new experience, Nova hadn’t been completely honest when her parents grilled her on the details. As far as they knew, Nova was just seeing a movie with a few friends and would not be venturing into the main mall. They were under the illusion that Adrian Everhart, Nova’s best friend and the only boy her parents trusted, was going to be the only male present. Not that it mattered much, anyway, seeing as Nova had expressed her attraction to girls as well at dinner one night about a year ago. Still, according to her parents, adolescent boys were trouble. All except for stupidly perfect Adrian Everhart. He was the kind of kid that everyone and their mother couldn’t help but be friends with. The kind of boy that, after leaving someone’s house, the mom would say “I always liked him. Good kid.” The same couldn't be said about Nova, his partner in crime since they were six and seven years old.

Her mom parked the car along the curb outside the movie theater entrance of the mall. Leaning back from the wheel with a heavy sigh, she looked over at Nova. “Just a movie, right?”

Nova nodded firmly, hand already reaching for the door in her hurry to escape. She could see the silhouettes of her friends, waiting in line for tickets.

“Hold on there, young lady.” Nova heard the clicking of the lock and groaned. “I want you to text me once every hour, okay? Stay with Adrian no matter what. If anything happens, call me or your father immediately.” Nova inched toward the door again, this time trying to unlock it subtly. Her mother still noticed. “Don’t talk to anyone you don’t know.”

Nova felt an evil smile creep onto her lips. “But what if they’re selling candy?”

“I mean it, Nova Jean.” She swore she saw the flash of fear in her mother’s eyes. “No funny business. You know how I feel about leaving you, and here of all places.” She gestured to the building before them. “Be on your best behavior. There are-”

“Eyes on me at all times, I know.” She rolled her eyes, thinking back to all the times those words had been repeated to her whenever she went anywhere. When she was younger, they confused her. But now, Nova knew her mom meant the media and how the older Nova got,

the more people watched her every move. After all, her family had a reputation. “Can I go now? Adrian’s already coming over here.”

Closing her eyes, Tala Artino nodded. She reached for Nova’s hand when her eyes reopened, now soft. “I love you, sweetheart, Be safe. I’ll pick you up at 10.”

“Love you too, Mom.” Reaching over, Nova pressed a kiss to her mom’s cheek. Then, she was finally allowed to exit the vehicle. Adrian, waiting outside, greeted her with a hug. Nova couldn’t help but notice his growth spurt in recent months. She had always been the short one, but there had been a time once where she didn’t have to tilt her head up to look at him. Now, her neck stretched more and more each time she saw him. She should’ve seen it coming; his mom had been tall, and he was a spitting image of her.

“Hi, Mrs. Artino.” Adrian waved as the passenger window rolled down. All traces of a stern parent vanished from her mother’s face when she waved back.

“Hi, honey. You’re going to make sure my daughter doesn’t do anything she’s not supposed to, right?”

“Mom!”

But Adrian laughed and simply nodded, putting on his dumb charming smile that won over every parent. They said bye to her mother. Nova watched until the car had disappeared from view before turning to face her friend.

“Where should we go first?”

Adrian frowned. “Are we not seeing the movie? Everyone else already has their tickets.”

“They can see it if they want.” Nova wrapped an arm around Adrian’s and pulled him forward. “But it honestly looks boring. All horror movies are the same.”

But Adrian didn’t look convinced, and while Nova wanted nothing more than to explore the mysterious place her mother hated with a passion, she could tell he wanted to see the movie. Well, the movie was only an hour and a half. And it was only 5 in the evening right now. They had plenty of time.

Nova let out a sigh, then pulled Adrian in the direction of the ticket line. “Fine, but you’re staying in line with me to buy a ticket.”

Adrian snorted. “Just as long as you sit next to me in case I get scared so I can hold your hand.” He seemed almost shy in saying that, despite trying to be nonchalant and joking. Nova glanced over at him and noticed how his cheeks and neck had darkened. A flutter twirled in her belly, but she pushed it aside. Those feelings were nothing new by now. But for whatever reason, she only felt them when she was around her best friend.

———-

“That movie was terrible!” Nova said as soon as she exited the theater with her friends. A few people glanced over at her, shooting disapproving looks before recognition dawned on their faces and their eyes flitted between her and Adrian and the linked arms between their bodies. Nova had to refrain from making faces at them, remembering her mother’s warnings.

“It wasn’t that bad,” Ramona said with an eye roll. “At least it wasn’t the same as every other horror movie.” Ramona was a Renegade, like Nova and Adrian. She had been chosen by Nova at the last trials a few months before to be a part of her team. Usually, the Council didn’t let the younger Renegades participate in the trials other than to watch, but they gave Nova an exemption at the ripe age of thirteen. Why, she wasn’t fully sure, especially when Adrian’s dads were on the Council and still wouldn’t let him create his. She suspected her parents had a bit of a pull in that, as well as the Council recognizing the amount of time Nova put in every day for the organization. After all, she was dedicated to righting the wrongs her uncle had done in the past. Her team couldn’t do much anyway. Patrols were too dangerous, so they were forced to stick to duties inside headquarters, something that quickly grew boring but at least helped Nova’s team bond.

Benton, Nova’s other recruit, shook his head. “No, I’m with Nova on this one. Possessed dolls? C’mon, it’s been done like, fifty times already.”

Nova headed the group as they ventured into the main part of the mall. The aroma of pretzels and stinky children pierced her nostrils. Nova hadn’t been inside a mall for some years. Her mom tried to avoid the place as much as possible, as it wasn’t the cleanest place on earth. Usually, if they had to go to a store in the mall, they would spend time only in that store, parking near an entrance by the store in order to spend the least amount of time in the main mall as possible. Tala had practically drilled Nova every single day leading up to her mall escapade on what to do and what not to do, as well as reminding her of the dangers of the media and of course, the splotchy-faced pedophiles who camped out in the food court all day watching teen girls pass by in crop tops and cut off shorts.

“Okay, but you have to admit the creepy dude at the end was a surprise,” Adrian countered, pushing his glasses up over his nose. Nova bit back a smile; she had promised not to make fun of his scratchy, changing voice. Even if he did squeak every other word. “Living in the walls?” He shuddered. “Spying on her that entire time?”

Ramona muttered something under her breath in Spanish. “No wonder his parents left. I honestly would’ve left sooner if I were them. Screw his feelings.”

“Yeah, he was weird, but that kind of came out of nowhere.” Benton ran a hand through his blond locks. “The plot holes are endless. Why didn’t his parents just up and abandon him? What was keeping them there? Why was he in the fucking walls to begin with? Why didn’t they get him mental help sooner?”

Nova gasped, quieting the group. She had spotted one of her favorite shops, a small store that sold band and other nerdy merch. Her mom wasn’t a big fan, seeing as they sold goth and emo type stuff, and their workers were ‘scary looking’. She grabbed Adrian’s hand in her excitement, missing the way his gaze widened at the gesture, and tugged him in the direction of the shop.

“There’s a shirt I’ve had my eyes on for the longest time,” she explained to him as they halted in front of the wall lined with band t-shirts. Benton and Ramona trailed off from them, drifting over to the racks and cubbies of fandom merch.

Adrian hummed in understanding. “The West Side?”

“East Side,” Nova corrected, glaring at his teasing shit eating smile. “If you’re going to their concert with me in November then you better learn their name at least, you asshole.”

Adrian bumped her shoulder lightly, but helped her look for the shirt after she gave him a brief description. Just when she was beginning to think they didn’t have it, Adrian let go of her hand to reach forward and to the left. When he turned back to her, he had the shirt, and in a size medium, just as she liked it. The baggier, the better. She grinned and accepted the shirt, wrapping an arm around him in a loose hug.

That’s when she saw a flash in the corner of her eye.

Flipping around, she saw a girl a few years older than her, the phone in her hand dropping awkwardly. Her group of friends all giggled and whispered to one another. Based on the way they were dressed and were acting, Nova could tell they had followed her and her friends into the store.

The girls entire face turned beet red, but that didn’t stop her from tearing her gaze from Nova to look at the photo she had taken. Before Nova could even open her mouth to ask her to delete the photo, the group of girls was gone, flocking out of the store quickly as if they hadn’t even been there.And that was when Nova noticed the hidden phones of quite a few shoppers. One was held in crossed arms as the lady pretended to look at a pair of shoes, another behind a clothing rack. One didn’t even try hiding their camera, or even bother to whisper to the person beside them.

A chill ran through Nova’s body, and suddenly she didn’t feel very well. Well, her few minutes of freedom were fun while they lasted. She closed her eyes and practically leaned against Adrian, jaw clenched as she pressed the shirt back into his hands.

“Shit.”

#renegades #supernova #archenemies #nova artino #Adrian everhart #nodrian #Oscar silva #danna bell #ruby tucker #tuckva #osby #anarchists #my writing

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riskeith · 3 years

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omg hi. sorry i disappeared for a few days, been super busy with school. i missed you a lot. how have you been?

i haven’t had the need to eat any food since i got barbara and noelle on my team. if one of them can’t shield, the other comes in a clutch haha. *bows* thank you ladies for your service.

i’d pay hard earned money to see fanart with the boy scouts playing with guoba.. :( and YEAH. that would be so fitting? + it’s gonna be liyue themed which is super nice. do you know any predictions over which four stars will be in xiao’s banner? and who do /you/hope will be there?

last time i played three days ago unlocked dragonspine.. i even did albedo’s quest i can’t believe i defeat that evil place sjshdksk. meaning i got so some primogems and some intertwined fate. i’ve been itching to use some of the intertwined fates to get xiangling c rate up... should i?

october 20 is such a cute bday. you know how some dates just look nice? that’s one of them shskdhs. i want to say my birthday too but i feel like if anyone reads our messages they’ll know who i am... sorry. you’ll have to wait for that information until we privately talk some day. big promise. 🤍

ooh. you kind of wing it too, then! in some ways. if you’re not feeling it do you leave the fic for the day after or give up on it for a while? (so many question... shut up @ me) i’m the same as you! but i also write sometimes in the day time and i feel like that’s when i produce my best work. yesterday i was at a cafe studying and during a break i just started writing a fic and for some reason it just flowed so nicely? so yeah idk skdjdhsk. whenever it strikes i suppose.

i do borrow my books sadly. i kind of have to because i don’t have anymore place to put my books (we live in a small apartment) and books are kind of expensive :( i don’t mind borrowing though because i don’t really reread books unless they’re super special so it’s fine. do you buy yours? I HAVE READ LEGEND. i read it waaaay back in grade school haha, it’s been ages ago. i’ve never seen anyone say it’s their favorite but i can see why you feel that way. it’s kind of underrated in the community for sure.

dude fuck... chongyun and xingqiu live in my mind rent free. i kid you not i just can’t stop thinking about those boys... please send me all the fanart you find i’ll literally give you my life for that <3

i just listened to the g-idle song and AAA? wtf? i used to really like them while i was into kpop and this is so nostalgic to me. i haven’t listened to kpop in literally years shdkdhdk. this song is great thank you for sending it, do you like g-idle? <3

WAIT ARE YOU MAKING A SECOND ACC? I WAS LITERALLY CONSIDERING DOING ONE IN ASIA FOR YOU... shdjdhdjshsjsj our minds. and yes i’m in american server... oh god. our co-op date can happen? 🥺 but if it’s too much work for you i’ve seriously actually considered doing one in asia for me i’m totally fine with starting all over so.. 🥺

god i’ve missed talking to you so much. once again i’m sorry for not being here, but hopefully after tomorrow’s exam school will be a bit more chill and i’ll be yours again.

hope you’ve been well babe. mwah!

hi!! that’s alright ahah, i assumed that was the case. i’ve been well!! and then not so well bc we weren’t talking 🤪 needless to say i’ve missed you a lot too <333

omggg QUEENS!!! i don’t have any healers but i don’t eat food either... LMFAO unless it’s a boss fight i’ll just keep going until i’m done with whatever it is then go heal at a statue fsdhfkdjs

!!! brb just gonna go get good at art so i can draw that for u 😩 i don’t have any predictions myself, but i’ve seen people say it’ll be ningguang + beidou + barbara possibly?? but of course, i would hope that xingqiu was there <3333 he can appear twice in a row come on mhy <3333 just think about that <333 and omggg i’d wish if chongyun came as well.. i really want to get him to c6 (but he was only two banners ago?) hbu do you have any thoughts on the matter~

AHAHAH good job im proud of you 😤😤 show that nasty place who’s boss!! if you want to, I don’t see why not! it’ll get you closer to pity as well so by the time venti is near, hopefully it won’t take you much to get him! lmk how it goes!!!! manifesting c6 xiangling for you 🔥

fhskdf thank you... is it weird to say i agree? FHDSKFHSDKFKJ like. 20/10 or 10/20... nice even multiples of ten numbers.. AHAHAH. no need to apologise at all!! 🤍🤍🤍🤍 share whatever you’re comfortable with whenever you’re comfortable <33

hm it depends. (i just reaslised i said this exact phrasing last time too lmfao) i think i usually give up on it for a while? but sometimes i try to force myself through it too, just to get over that section so i can hopefully move on to a better one wait sorry i misread your question LOL. i usually leave it for the day as opposed to give up on it for a while! if i’m actively working on something i’d prefer to continue working at it slowly, even if the progress is just me opening the doc and then exiting after 5 mins fhdskj. are you the same? (NO!!! DO NOT SHUT UP @ YOU i never get to talk about writing processes pls im enjoying this a lot)

nice!! the vibes when writing during the day are sometimes better as well, bc it’s still light and stuff you’re not sitting in the dark or with a light on.. lol. it’s more ~natural~ & omg legendary... i love that for you!! on that note, do you usually study at school/cafes/libraries? i pretty much can only study at home, i hate doing it anywhere else.

ahh that’s fair :( and yeah i agree books can get so expensive? like the authors def deserve to be compensated for all their hard work but damn lmao. oh that’s a good point! i do buy books yeah, and i don’t even necessarily reread them i just like having them on the shelf fhdskfd (there are many i haven’t even read for the first time... oops.) what ages do grade school cover? sorry i have no idea what that means fhsjfkshsdkjs the different names for education levels will never not confuse me. !! yeah i really wish legend was more popular aaaaa

here are some recent arts i’ve bookmarked!! (rip i should find one more so every word is linked but cbs hfskdhfs) i’m also considering making a genshin twitter! idk why i’m so averse to following these amazing accs on my normal account lmaoo but i’m also thinking of posting pics from the 52485 photoshoots i do with chongyun..

oh nice!!! i’m really happy you liked it 🥰🥰🥰 and yeah i do like g-idle but i don’t stan them! that’s me with most groups tbh fshkfjsd but i do watch most of their MVs when they first come out~

FSHFKJSDHFKSD wait what if.. this but it’s us surprising each other in the other’s servers <33 and if i’m telling you the truth... i kinda despise the idea of playing in am*rica server FHSDKJFHSDKFHSDKKDSHFKSDHKKJ but we could compromise and both start again in europe?? ahah let me know what you think! if you’re happy to just do one in asia tho that’s fine as well~

me too!! and no worries for real, school comes first!! (even if it fkn sucks... @ school i hate you. i say, when i’m still on holidays FHDSKJFJS) aaaa good luck on your exam!!! i hope you smash it 💪💪

also um “and i’ll be yours again”??!?!?!?!? be still my beating heart 😩😩😩😩 i shall be waiting for you wifey hehe

hope you’ve been taking care of yourself!! kisses, c.r.

#marriage anon #wowclunaanswers #long post

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