#NO GENERATOR IM MAKING THIS THE GRANOLA THING.

[biteapple]

hungruy 24/7 ahhhhhhHHHHHH

#ive been eating a lot of fast food because i havent gotten groceries because i havent had time to plan groceries and getting them #because ive been working so many hours and i also havent had time to clean my fridge out #and honestly im kind of afraid of my fridge at this point because it needs like a LOT of cleaning out. there's some nasty shit in there now #usually im pretty good at keeping things tidy in there and in general but i havent set aside time to clean it #and NOW i need to set aside time to DEEP clean it #i literally made myself dinner today and i finished two bowlfuls of my pasta and im STILL hungry now. #and its like okay well im at an impasse. do i make the rest of this box of pasta or do i get takeout or do i brave my fridge #its like fuuuuck #usually i just eat a protein granola bar to soothe the hunger atleast for awhile #one of the biggest upsides and downsides to the testosterone is the hungerrrrrr #ive been gaining weight i think.? its been nice

[slytherinshua]

WITH EVERY CUP OF COFFEE

genre. fluff. very domestic. coffeeshop au sorta...? seungsik being sooooo husband :( warnings. kissing. pairing. husband!seungsik x reader. wc. 779. a/n. idk why this fic just turned out soooo domestically fluffy and like seungsik oml hes just sooooo husband and i miss him sm </3 im in such a victon era again i just love them and miss them so badly 😭 also i feel like this is written in a slightly different style from what i normally do lmao (tho i'm not even sure if i have a style... do i have a style?)

Seungsik loved you with every cup of coffee. 

Every iced americano, every caramel macchiato, every vanilla latte, every hazelnut cappuccino reminded you how much Seungsik loved you. 

From the moment you first locked eyes, to your first date, to when he put a ring on your finger, to now— Seungsik loved you with every cup of coffee.

You would never have known that the cute new barista at your local coffee shop would become a permanent fixture of your life, or that just 4 years later you would be opening up your own coffee shop with the very same man, but life is full of surprises and events that no one could ever predict.

The week had been tiresome overall. It was hard to keep up with customers when it was just the two of you. Seungsik took the counter, making coffees and charming customers with his handsome face and even handsomer smile. While he handled the front, you were in the back baking cookies or muffins or other baked goods. The morning rush before people went to work was always the busiest. You liked to man the counter together, otherwise it became unmanageable. 

Every day was pretty much the same, but you liked the familiarity. The routine was relaxing, and the constant surety of a day at the cafe helped with the stress of life outside of it. 

It was mostly Seungsik, though.

You woke up in his arms, breathing in his cologne, feeling the warmth of his body against yours. You stayed like that for a long time. Even after Seungsik woke up, he wanted to hug you for longer, just stay close for “5 more minutes”. 5 always turned into 10 which turned into 20, but there never seemed to be any urgency when you were with him.

When you finally got free from his arms to go shower, he watched you leave with a sleepy smile on his face, mumbles about how breakfast would be ready when you were done. If there was one thing about Seungsik, it was that he always made sure breakfast was ready for you.

Some mornings it was french toast, or fruit parfaits with granola, or kimchi pancakes. This morning it was eggs benedict. But the best part of every breakfast was the coffee that came with it. Freshly brewed with the drip coffee pot that you had given him on your anniversary. He said it was the best thing in his life (after you).

You finished getting ready quickly, eager to join Seungsik for breakfast, and by the time you got to the kitchen, he was just starting on the coffee. One of the things you loved the most about Seungsik was his voice, and he had a habit of singing while working. His voice filled the entire room with a soft clear melody and you smiled at the sound. He was singing your favourite song. You slipped your arms around his waist and rested your head against his broad back as he poured water over the coffee grounds in slow circles. He slowed his singing down to a gentle hum, his left hand finding yours circling his waist to intertwine your fingers.

“Out of the shower?” 

You hummed in response, stepping up on your tippy toes to press small kisses to his neck. He smiled at the feeling.

“I’ve got to plate the eggs. Can you finish the coffee?” He turned around, leaning down to press a long kiss to your lips before leaving you to finish pouring the water. He started singing again as he transferred the eggs to two matching plates and poured a generous amount of hollandaise sauce on each one. 

“Go sit down, I’ll pour the coffee.” Seungsik urged, leading you to the table and pulling out your chair for you.

“You’re so sweet this morning.” You commented, smiling at the cute breakfast laid out on the table and your husband who was grabbing two matching mugs to pour the coffee into.

“Aren’t I sweet every morning?” He countered, placing the coffee down in front of you. You giggled. He was right, of course. He was sweet to you every morning. You sometimes couldn’t even imagine how you had ended up with such a loving husband.

You watched the cream make little swirls in your coffee and you allowed a relaxed smile to take over your face at the sight. It wasn’t just coffee to you— it was coffee made by Seungsik, and it held his love for you in it. And in that moment you were again reminded that Seungsik loved you steadily, gently, slowly. 

Seungsik loved you with every cup of coffee.

↳ victon taglist: @yeonjuns-redhair,, @skz-minchan-enthusiast,, @edensgardenn

#﹒fics 𓈃 ⵌ #k-labels #seungsik #kang seungsik #victon #victon seungsik #victon kang seungsik #victon fic #seungsik fic #kang seungsik fic #seungsik fluff #kang seungsik fluff #victon fluff #victon seungsik fluff #victon seungsik fic #victon x reader #seungsik x reader #kang seungsik x reader #fanfic #fluff #kpop #seungsik fanfic #victon fanfic #fic

[manicpixiedreamsaren]

which f1 drivers i think would survive the zombie apocalypse and the people they would team up with

•••••••••

GROUP 1:

fernando alonso

max verstappen

pierre gasly

yuki tsunoda

mick schumacher

NONE of them are surviving. they all end up thinking w their abs like the jocks they are and as a last resort just threw themselves at the zombies in a last ditch effort to survive. while still alive though, fernando def took the lead and did his best to keep everyone together. pierre and yuki definitely cliqued together and were in charge or recon, mick and max were the “put things together” guys, and fernando just kinda told everyone what to do

GROUP 2:

sebastian vettel

charles leclerc

lance stroll

lewis hamilton

nicholas latifi

see, these guys all are generally pretty smart, but im not so sure they would all make it out alive. im pretty sure lance would survive at first due to fitness and dumb luck, but would end up being picked off while the gangs running for their life. would probs ask for seb to kill him if he was bit. lewis is def in charge or strategy and nicky + lance would work on inventory, while charles and seb were lookouts

GROUP 3:

esteban ocon

zhou guanyu

valterri bottas

oh they definitely all survive. kept their group tight knit and able bodied, plus packed light and survived via group hiking trips and granola bars. probably met up w group two a lot to trade and hang out.

GROUP 4:

carlos sainz

daniel ricciardo

lando norris

oh they all die. and in the most stupid ways too. they didn’t bother with making a strategy and just kinda ran for it. did not go well. lando was definitely a zombie by the third day and carlos probably died trying to save him. after carlos and lando were gone, daniel probably tried to find the rest of the grid but failed because he tripped over an exposed root and fell down a cliff or something bc bad luck

GROUP 5:

alex albon

george russel

kmag

sergio perez

they would all make it out solely because kmag and checo both were secretly doomsday preppers. alex and george kinda slid in by offering their height and muscle. ended up just hunkering down slightly off some hiking path and eat a lot of canned food thanks to kevins stash. checos really only with them because hes tired of babysitting max.

#alex albon #george russell #lance stroll #sebastian vettel #lewis hamilton #fernando alonso #zhou guanyu #valtteri bottas #kevin magnussen #kmag #nicholas latifi #max verstappen #mick schumacher #sergio perez #checo perez #daniel ricciardo #lando norris #esteban ocon #pierre gasly #yuki tsunoda #charles leclerc #carlos sainz jr #carlos sainz #mr saturday #magic alonso #sv5 #lh44 #ls18 #ln4 #dr3

[cinewhore]

a few things from today and just general musings because this is a blog and I shouldn’t be afraid to post these things on a blogging website:

- i made a parfait for the first time. It was really good. I was skeptical because for whatever reason it’s hard to find a yogurt that’s non-diary in the bigger sizes but I stumbled across one that’s made from goats milk so why not? It’s nasty on it’s own but very tasty when you add stuff to it. I used blueberries, strawberries, honey and honey nut granola.

- speaking of food, i realize that while i enjoy grocery shopping, Im not really good at it. I decided to meal prep and found it sooo helpful. Now I know what im eating so I knew what to buy. I also made chicken gravy from scratch which seems mundane but very cool. I used too much flour but it just means that it’s super thick and that’s ok. I think doing this will help cut my grocery budget down but groceries are just fucking expensive.

- I started a new screenplay and it’s exciting. I really want to do more with my writing this year and a great writing fellowship opened up but it’s for features only. I hate long forms of writing but was willing to write a feature in a month because I wanted to do the fellowship. I realize this was wrong and will now take my time with the script.

- it’s tentatively called financial aid and it’s about three students coming together to pull off a heist to pay their tuition. It’s heavily based on me (minus some of the crime, haha) so that makes it scary but worthwhile. I tend to stick to hard comedy but I want to try my hand at drama. The tone is similar to the bear. Characters are great, it’s funny but also wildly fucked up and everyone should see a therapist.

- i bought kimchi for the first time. I had a great pork kimchi rice bowl in LA and haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since. I couldn’t find pork belly in my store so I’ll have to do without. I hope it turns out ok.

- i could be really good with social media to the point of becoming an influencer but I don’t care enough and I’m lazy. My mom thinks I’m wasting potential. I like posting little tiktoks of my outfits and doing mini vlogs of my life. Why must i monetize that?

- I’m sure we’re just in a lull period but I find my job kind of boring. I spent an hour answering emails and then just sat there for the rest of the day. Only two other people came in. I could’ve stayed home. I like it because I make more than a lot of people and it’s easy and i only work in office three days a week so i can do whatever on the weekend.

- i really want friends and I’m tired of trying to use endless apps or whatever. I can’t help but to think about how much fun this city could be if i had people to hang out with.

- i think i need to buy a nightlight and I’m trying to be brave about it because sleeping with the tv on isn’t helping but for gods sake I’m 26 and developing a fear of the dark!

#idk enjoy this for whatever it is #now that’s what i call blogging

[chloeangelic]

Girl the way I want you to drop your working out routine and diet…

Hiiii okay very late answer below SORRY

CW exercise, food/diet, all that. If you have an issue with me posting or talking about this, dont click the read more and then complain about it, capiche? :))))  just move along, nothing to see here

I know a lot of people would answer stuff like this with “i am not a professional” however i am actually an exercise professional with several certifications and licenses, so this is not me giving advice or telling you what you should do, this is just what i personally do. i have a very positive relationship to food and exercise after working out for a decade so im pretty laid back about all of it  

Exercise wise, i lift 3x a week and i pole dance 1-2x a week. As for lifting, i do full body every time, all free weights and no machines. I dont do cardio or abs cause i think its boring and i dont track how many calories i burn cause i dont care. I find it boring to do upper body/leg days so i prefer doing a mix. My set and rep range is anywhere from 3x3 to 4x18 depending on the exercise. I do progressive overload, meaning i do the same 3 sets of different exercises every week but it gets a little more intense every time either in terms of weight increasing or reps increasing. The only exercise i do twice a week is hip thrust. My goals are to build strength and muscle and this has worked well for me so im happy. Sometimes i ditch working out or pole to write but i stay mostly consistent 

Diet wise, i have celiac disease and i dont eat out very often, so those are kinda the two main things. I make all my own food cause i have no other options haha 

The best diet advice i ever received was to have a source of protein, fat and carbs in every meal and thats what i follow. This is gonna sound boring but the things i eat the most are gf bread, eggs, chicken sausages, generic brand nutella, greek yogurt, granola, berries, different varieties of pasta, chicken, fish, beef, prawns, rice, veggies, granola bars, dark chocolate and ice cream (a pint can last me a long time cause i find it v filling for some reason). I usually make the same type of stuff my mom made growing up which is kind of a mix of different stuff. When i have the time, i like making lebanese or palestinian food (my fav food ever is shish tawook), and I also like to put toum (whipped garlic sauce) on everything. When i go out with my friends or order in, i tend to get fried chicken, sushi or middle eastern food. i love candy, cake, cookies and all other desserts yum yum yum i eat dessert every day and idc if anyone has an issue w it

Im the type who loses my appetite if im stressed, and my metabolism has gotten high from working out for so long that it can be difficult to eat enough, especially protein, and that always leaves me feeling v tired and shitty the next day cause i cant sustain the energy expenditure, so i try to make my meals very calorically dense cause theres just a limit to how much i can chew and swallow. i often drink blackberry/cranberry canada dry ginger ale cause they fucking SLAP and also its extra carbs i dont have to shove down my gullet

Thats pretty much it. I take creatine but thats the only supplement i take cause protein powder tastes terrible. I got an ask about creatine and will respond to that soon as well :p

#tw exercise #tw food #chloe answers

[autisticlenaluthor]

do you have any thoughts about lena with an eating disorder? especially arfid because that's what i struggle with. but any ed would be fun to hear about if you have thoughts.

hi im so sorry it took me forever to get to this. I saw it and had so many thoughts but just never responded. but anyways, lena with ARFID

tw for some restrictive ed thoughts and body image stuff

-lena has always been 'picky', at least, that's how it's described by her parents. for as long as she can remember, she's struggled with trying new things, eating out with friends, and just meals in general

-lena has like 3 or 4 foods that feel safe and reliable. pre packaged things that always taste the same and are high in calories like boxed Mac and cheese, certain types of chips/crackers, and one very specific type of granola bar. she practically buys them in bulk but even in the comfort of her apartment, tries to keep them hidden behind 'good' foods. because if anyone comes over, she doesn't want them to know she's so secretly unhealthy

-from Lillian, lena has a lot of internalized rules around food and body image. she grew up constantly having her weight criticized and being put dozens of failed diets as a result of Lillian projecting her own insecurities onto lena. lena still carries a lot of Lillians beliefs with her and feels very shameful over the things she eats/how much she eats. she hates that the only things she can stomach are such unhealthy, childish things and feels like if anyone found out, she'd be judged for it

-lena stresses a lot about meals. every single thing about them she hates. the fact that she has to plan what she's going to eat (she can never find anything that appeals to her. it all makes her want to gag) and then there's actually cooking and go through with eating it (80% of the time she finds something that seems somewhat appealing, it repulses her by the time she actually has to eat it). she's filled with so much anxiety around wether she's eating too much/too little, or the fact that what she's eating might make her feel sick later, and just general food aversions, she feels like it's just easier to not eat at all.

-lena tends to use work to manage her anxiety. she gets out of lunches with friends or just meals in general because of meetings and assignments. at first, it's unconscious. lena doesn't really realize what she's doing. it takes a few weeks for her to realize she's doing it. but when she does, the thought of having to plan out meals and actually eat them and everything that comes with it gives her so much anxiety that she figures she can keep going like this for a little while longer.

#lena luthor #im so sorry if this is messy I didn't proof read #I have more thoughts so I'll add them later #I just needed to get this out now

[aphrorite]

-ˏˋ sweetheart diaries ˊˎ- #4 !! 🌷🌸🎀

૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა ♡༘

⋆ ✧₊ may 24th 2022 ☀️✨🌷 ⊹ɞ

hello diary ! its been sos long sinc ive wrote here :S thahts okay though, life gets busy soemtime and sometime i not able to write becos of it <3 today was great!

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶

hmmm where should i start disry ?!??! i havent seen u in so long ))): i lay on teddy comfy back as i weite this bc he make a fluffy cute pillow and he is so generous 💕💕💕 i luv teddy .

umm so the last time i weote was on may 14, si mayb i make list of notable thing ! here it is (:

felt sick one day so stay home n then m found out ir was plumbing day

my cat discover new window n he lobved it so much. was up on bhis tupy toe n was enjoyin fresh air .

had olumbing com over n get toilet fized >_>

may 15 made toast n agua for meself on a lil chop boar dn enjy brekafast

may 17 i groute d my mosiac media ezploration . i did an ugly magenta tbh and it iddnt turn out how i intended but then again ir was only media ezploration )): next time i go fir darker grout. here was finished mosiac before grouting

may 17 at work befor my shif i also saw thes realky chte tanks !!! i trie them on but they didnt rlly hav my size n the pink didnt look as nice as i thought it would but the white did n the blue ehhhh ,, here they r ! i also found out my fav coworker too has the same disorder as me and i felt not so alone knowing tht . it made me feel like someone understood my struggle an di am so grateful to have a coworker like her. i am not happy that she suffers with the same issues but i am glad thqt we can both fight our hardships together . <3

may 18 very sad day ): am work very hard on makeup but had not so good time at school dance so was vert sad. m felt very out ofnplace )): but in hindsight, m also call tht one guy n ask if hed like watch stranger things this friday ! so we hav that day for him n i <3

may 19 m thought of very cute leggings, leg warmers n new aesthetic more , so now am want to change my room up and go for my pink idea ! i always felt bad for wanting it to be all pink ebcause it doesnt necessarily align w my feng shui but i wa s like , “ let me stop confinin myself “ , so im plan 2 get cute pink posters (n design them,) more ffske folliage, hanging plants , lace curtains/ transparent , pink rug and wayyy more plushie !!!

may 19 i also went get my mediciatuon refile , they gav me 67 when they meant 74 but utl l b ok cos i up dosage upon next appointmen maot likely ! i also saw pretty lipblam 🥺🥺 may 19 i paint my mosiac frame black !

fri may 20 i wok up too late 2 get ready n missed bus so instead of adking relativ who im not fond of,,, I WALK 3 KM!!!! 3000 m in 40 minute to my school n cross highway ^_^ it acc big feat for me bc ive never cross highway bflre when walking n also NEVER have walk that much in ine moring. i was determine to get to school and i did !! did NOT MISS SCHOOL !!! 😎

fri i also went to awerie n se etheir flare n i tried them on and i relalt like d them !!!! i didnt buy them rhoguh becaus when i tried to it didnt work out bc theyw erent accetin phon paymen t / it didnt work ): so i put on hold.

fri was grwat doe cos i ALSO MADE MY LUNCH !!!! LOOK LOOK LOOK. IS SO PRETTYYYY I SO HAPPY BOUT IT ! i wish i had sandio lucnh box tho so i will get one soon. is was yummy bc usuall i wake up too late to make lunch ): so i had ice tea , 2 pb sandwich, cheeseit, breton veggie cracker, granola and croutons ! yumyum

friday i work bery hard in fitting room to make sure every cloth wa s detail so i proud myself ^-^ i sad tho bc on fri i found out my one friend isnt who she rlly was n she like dark humor for attention which made me feel really invalidated )): so i never hangout w her anymor and gonna distanc

saturdy i did pintwrest, made new board n cleaned up pinterest but still hav to work on it, clean some cameraroll, shop n hav fun ! i thin k i also watch show another close friend n i kinda hav lil crush on him ))): we wathc 5 episode n fall asleep in calls o i b his alarm clock . funny thin is tho before we hungour he called me while i was showering n it was funny cos i was wondering ‘why my music so quiet?’ peek out curtain and see a pleasant surprise ! i told him call me back doe cos ofc i busy cleaning meself !!! hmph , we laughed abt it tho cos😁 i was happy he called me tok bc he was on my mind n i always wish hed call instead of me doing it first . n then later he put me to bed cos i got drowsy cos mediciattioon aargeghh but we spend whole day together <3 n i folded my cloth too! i also look at more room inspo n made list for wht i want to buy !

sunday i did LOADDDDSS of math hoemwork n i so proud myself for it , i finish and got caugh t up! sister b so kind n she help me clean room , so i fibish xleaning and also DID MY LAUBDRRRRYYY I SO PROUD I HAVENT DOBE THT IN FROWVER

monday i fibisb painting , did more pinterest work on spotify n look at shein for little, n during weekend i learned how to weite upside down ! coolio . i slso took walk, wore cute outfit black stocking w plaid skirt black sweater and white collar and did my makeup 😋 i soend time wi my cat too !! i also did sims 4 reblogging on other acc hehe

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n now we in present ! today i wore the same fit i wore the other day bx ir wasntn dirty, woke up in time but had trogbl gettin out of bed bc it was rlly cold. blanket so warm so i lau at floor of staircase burrowed in blanket cos ellie so warm aargrggh then got ready.

i didnt hav kuch in lunch but moma camw in cluctch with making more pasta so i toon tht for work n also had breton cracker n 2 made good granola bar.

i brin canvas n wallet cos today i want handed in. y canvas n buy the flare legging ! school was good n i did really well in math w anawritjng question and understanding material :3 i so happy abt that bc usually i feel like i am strugglin behind , but my misophonia kept kicking in ),:

theguy still havent stopped courhing and the orher person vocal tics (whxih i know they cant help) relaly made me angry . i know not to be angry and i am not acc angry at them rhouvh it is very irritating ): ofc i am bery stonefave so no one can tell i am angry , and plus i dont want to make anyone sad .

art class went bot so well ): ,, i was finishing my sides and the sand when I accidentally tip uellow paint all over my cabvas 😭😭 theguy who sat across fron me was kind and saved my canvas from fultl flipping over , dude had great reflexes but there was a big fat blob of yellow pajt on floor witb some splatters . it got over my canvas so i had scrapped off w cardboard n then scrapped the paint w the cardboard off the ground and back jnto fhe conrainer, and then i use dawn soap, brown paper towel and sponge to scrub dub dub, and then u couldnt even tell it was there . i am proud for cleaning ip it sow ell but i think mybe god was telling me tht i had to do one kr more finishing touches, sooo i went to work w canvas and home w it, and also saw dat my framw wasnt black emigubso i brough it home too to paint it more black.

i bough flare legging tho, got free agua at satrbuck bc i forgo watnottle, had starbuck popcorn (yumyum i luv popcorn !) and it wa great!!! 🍿💛

hehe, i felt so pretty wwaring the legging rht i wore it to work hehe and i got compliment on mt outfit too. i favetime sisrer during lunch too. and guess wha diary? i ddi amzing at work today :33 i also listen to my sleepy agedre playlsit rn while i write this !

i did 3 stock boxes in 30 min!!! thrts 10 mins for wach unpacking, and then i hung then up n tagged them all by myself ^w^ i was so proud tht i got it done (securi tagging in 57 min, total time took for 3 boxes is 1 hr 48)

my ocd was kicking in ahain with the number of aecurity tags i had and it was a little difficult but i trudge through it n tried to not breakdown over it n so i didnt !! i also met new coworker today, her name angelina 😇

i was so happy tht i did it i felt unsfoppable, n i got praises for my pretty painting from wmployees when i walk into shops n also praises from my coworker s n pll were impressed that i did stock so quicj so i very proud ^⏝^ i put clothes out on sales floor too but at end of shift i went back to get my canvas cos i forgo x_x

when home came my ankle pain rlly kcike din bc it was sore during my shift n still hurts as i weite this ))): hopefully i sleep it off n it go away . i didn do much homeworks until 7 ish but i still trusges through my sampling math homework and painted my frame black and fixed my painting yellow mistake n then got ready for bed 💤💤 i beush my cat today too n he got lots fur, i saw him climb up a carpet n it remind me of spiderman !! he gwtting realt confident n it make me happy

i felt little meh abt wanting to self care but i pushed myself to do so ! 😼 so i lotion my sof skin, gargle w mourhwash, brush teef brush hair n then got into bed w comfy comforter ! i also went on walk w sister n went barefoot, got feet dirty but i wash it before bed, n also walk in grass which is theuropedic !

anyway diary, i look at list, go use lou, and shop for a lil befor ebed. love u!! i check in once in a lil bit. baiiii!!!! 👋👋😴

p.s ⭐️🌻 i forog mention, AHHHH kendrick lamar is in town soon !!! when i am not agedre/agere, i would LUV to see his concert n i think i migh b able go so im gonna b stoked for that OMGOMOMG 🌼💛

╭┈─────── urs truly, ࿐ ˊˎ-

╰┈➤ sweetheart xx

#sfw agere #sfw agere blog #agere #aphrorite.diary #🌸

[sweetestapplepie]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who liked or reblogged something from you! :3

1- making new friends. and knowing people who make me feel safe & good and at rest. I love getting to know people and I love to make connections w them. it's wonderful.

2- listening to MCR songs. Im super hyperfocused on them and I love all the songs, and they comfort me a lot. specially like, I have a hard time expressing emotions so sometimes I just turn smth on and let everything I'm feeling out. like a manic dance party lol. (listening to all the angels rn btw)

3- the concept of love, in general, makes me happy. idk. all love makes me feel so so happy.

4- eating açai bowls with granola and a lot of candy.

5 - having time to talk to my besties. I wish I had more fun with them, more random talks and more hugs and more movie nights and more study dates and more dressing up to parties together and more insane jokes to see the other crack up and. you get it, more fun times with them.

im feeling down so I'll list five more to get the out of this funk

6- running.

7- acing tests and like, the feeling that I have still time to study to do well on a test.

8. playing Zelda while I listen to my friends music (she'll debut on spotify soon!!! go check it out!!)

9. performing: be it theatre, presentations, dancing, karaokes, twerking on top of the table at a party. I love to put on a show. Makes me exhilarated to get up and perform smth. Ofc I'm anxious as fuck and maybe I mistake the racing heart for fear as fun, but it is fun.

10. doing my makeup and dressing up. I love character costumization irl and it makes me feel exxxtra hot. so why not.

11. (we got to eleven!!! yippee!) worship at church. and communion at church. and going to church and seeing church friends and forgetting about the world.

#meee #get a load of this guy #<- get to know me tag. #Hyyyyy dear ty so much for this ask!!!

[keefwho]

July 25 - 2023 Tuesday

10:47 AM

My friend just needed someone to talk to and I’m always happy to help in any way I can but I did a bad job trying to comfort her, even if she only needed someone to listen. I’m also a little scatterbrained today or just vacant so I wish I could have been more help. I literally couldn’t think of anything good to say. I guess I’m most worried about coming off as indifferent or uncaring because I care a LOT. She probably knows that though. 

2:53 PM

I feel things and think things but I don’t want to write about things or think about them. Mostly because I feel mentally tired right now. Im not in the best shape to be making progress but I have learned that progress must still be made regardless. I can’t always wait for the right moment. I guess there also isn’t anything pressing me right now so I can take a smol break. 

In general I know I’m having a hard time feeling like myself right now and instead am following what I’d describe as a sort of natural code. Im doing things without thinking about them. There is little exploration and creativity going on in my head right now, I’m just existing. My capacity for true deep empathy is lowered because of this. I’m not really here in a sense, or not at the capacity I want to be. I know this must be normal though, I can’t be on top of this kind of thing all the time. I’m sure this kind of thing happens to everyone. I’m just trying to get to know it better so I can accurately appraise myself whenever I get like this. 

I also had a very small incident with an onion. Its the kind of thing that harks back to the peak of my anxiety surrounding food and my stomach. I chopped an onion in half so I could use one half in my lunch and the other half went in the fridge. I still have some iffyness about eating anything “raw” even if it’s safe to do so. I hinged a lot of my sense of food security on making sure everything I ate was fully cooked no matter what it was (except for some obvious exceptions like chips, crackers, canned stuff, etc.). So I still found it to be a little exercise to take a slice of that onion and use it on my chicken burger uncooked. It’s an important little exercise though and I’m proud I did it, even if it wasn’t a very big deal. 

10:56 PM

I want to get on bed this time so this has to be brief hopefully.

For breakfast I had left over rice a roni from yesterday. I watched one of the newer episodes of Craig of the Creek before streaming. 

Stream went okay, I only did half commission work again since I’m doing it for the paying double guy. I had to stop the stream halfway through to call and listen to my friend but I started it back up for a little bit afterwards. I completed a little colored sketch in a way that I liked so hopefully I can keep doing that to get more of my ideas out. 

I cleaned up some and did my mini workout for the first time. Im really starting to feel it in my legs again so it must be working. During my shower I watched a new video from Lemino about the JFK assassination, it was interesting. Im surprised and also not surprised at how stupid people can be when giving testimony. 

Lunch was a chicken burger and a granola bar, very good. 

During today’s drawing request I edited one of my coloring brushes to be easier to blend with and I really liked the result. It offered more flexibility per stroke. After that I worked on this cute drawing of mine and my friend’s sonas again, it’s REALLY coming out well. When work was done I spent some time working on my horse avatar again, it’s also looking good and I’m so excited to be horsies with my bestie.

I hung out with her while I worked on it and we chilled for a bit while she showed some things. I didn’t know what to do with myself, I just wanted to chill so I wasn’t very lively. My eyes also hurt all evening. After she moved upstairs we played Zelda for a bit, it was nice. 

I wish I could have been less out of it, I’ve definitely been in a funk today and yesterday. I could probably figure out some straightforward exercises to turn to that could help me realize that I’m a living, thinking person when I’m struggling to perceive myself. 

#journal #diary #anxiety #friends

[finalbelle]

@sorrowh​​ liked for a starter for annabeth !!

       ❝ i’m giving you permission to try some right now. ❞ in fact, it’s being encouraged. petite hands shake the now opened mason jar out to the other with a smile. ❝ but not too much, you’ll need the energy later i’m sure. ❞

#NO GENERATOR IM MAKING THIS THE GRANOLA THING. #sorrowh #closed starter: sorrowh.

[apocalypticgargoyle]

Dream smut or fluff where reader and him are high key mean to eachotjer despite having so many mutual friends, but then something (very vague i know I’m sorry) makes them have to get close and the develop feelings? Sorry I’m shit at requests but thank you!!!

i know this is shitty im sorry akjsdh bls forgive me

𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑. ♘ 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

± warnings: dream being a dick, slight slut shaming, toxic behavior, vulgar/suggestive mentions and language, sexual harassment on a bus (not by dream, you can breathe)

⋆ song recommendation: When the Night is Over by Lord Huron

You pulled a blanket beneath your chin, yawning slightly at whatever the tv was playing. You only had it on in an attempt to drown out the noises coming from your roommate's bedroom as she smoozed her date. You were honestly shocked the two hadn’t moved in together yet with all the time they spent wrapped up.

Her door opened, her eyes widening slightly at the sight of you sprawled out on the couch. He marched toward you quietly, hovering over your shoulder. You peered up at her hesitantly. “What are you watching?” She asked, voice barely above a whisper. You furrowed your brows, opening your mouth to speak but she hurriedly cut you off. “Do you mind watching it at Nick’s instead?”

You raised your eyebrows. “You’re kicking me out again?” She gave you an apologetic smile, making you roll your eyes as you stood up and pulled on your jacket. “This would hurt less if they also paid rent,” you mumbled, with a small glare.

She thanked you repeatedly, holding onto your arm as you gathered what little belongings you needed for the night. “I promise I’ll make it up to you,” she courted, opening the door for you. “Tomorrow, dinner’s on me okay?” You sent her a tired look and she apologized again. She stopped you as you stepped out into the cold night, leaning through the space between the door and the frame. “Maybe you can cozy up to that Clay guy? You guys have such a good vibe,” she mocked, making you chuckle lightly.

You shook your head, waving to her. “Enjoy your night. Please, for the love of God, clean the bathroom afterward,” you called, hearing her laugh at your statement.

The bus ride was quiet due to the time of night and the weather, both of which you didn’t mind. You knew Nick’s house would be warm and loud. Before you knew it, you found yourself in front of his apartment door, kicking at the concrete ground as you heard someone stumbling to let you inside. The door opened swiftly, Clay’s large frame blocking the light from the kitchen. He leaned against the doorframe mockingly as he looked at you.

He wet his lips. “Who’s the lucky guy tonight?” He joshed.

You rolled your eyes, brushing past his body to get out of the cold. “Whoever’s dick you’re not sucking, I guess,” you quipped back, making him laugh darkly. You kicked off your shoes as he shut the door. “Where’s Sapnap?” You asked, shrugging off your jacket. You’d texted him ahead of time to ask if you could stay over, which he readily agreed to.

Clay sent you a smug look. “You guys have a fun night planned?” He made a gesture with his hand to insinuate you were there to give Nick a handjob.

You bit back a chuckle. “Why? You wanna join?” You shot back. He bit his lip and moaned pornographically.

“Cut it out, Dream,” Nick grumbled as he walked into the room. He pulled on your arm to follow him.

Dream scoffed exasperatedly. “Me? I’m not the one who started it!” He called after the two of you.

As Nick pushed you out of the room, you turned your head. “You most certainly did!” You answered. You heard him chuckle at your words as Nick shut the door to his room. You plopped down on his bed as he sat in his chair, swiveling to look at you. “Why does Dream pick at me so much?” You mumbled, fishing in your pockets for your phone.

“He’s jealous,” Nick answered absent-mindedly. “What's the date look like tonight?” He asked, referring to the reason you were there in the first place. This wasn’t the first time or the last time your roommate had kicked you out. It was becoming a more frequent occurrence for you to end up on Nick’s couch or at their place in the middle of the day with your toothbrush and a change of clothes.

You moved to lean into his pillows. “I don’t know, it's the same granola fucker she’s been hanging around,” you answered.

He rubbed his chin with a slight smirk. “There’s a subtle justice to knowing she’s still with that asshat,” he commented, making you snort.

A week later, you were on your way back to your apartment after a lecture when someone felt you up. It was the straw on the camel’s back for you as you spin around to smack the guy, stirring up a few of the bystanders. You’d walked the rest of the way home, stepping through the door to be met with your roommate and her hookup twisted together in the kitchen.

You clamped your hand over your eyes, mumbling about how you just wanted to take a nap when you were once again sent to Nick’s. You let subtle tears fall as you trudged your way across the city, hoping to get out whatever darkness you had to your attitude. The last thing you wanted to do was confront Clay looking like you did. He was like the troll with the keys to the bridge. That was really the only reason the two of you ever talked, so you knew he’d be waiting to berate you before you could get to Nick.

As you walked into the building, you spotted Clay carrying a large box, his hair slightly disheveled and his hands dirty. You knew almost instantly that he was probably attempting to fix the kitchen sink and got a call because of the size of the package. That sink had been dripping since they’d moved in, making it Clay’s mission to futz around with it every Friday afternoon. You tried helping him one time, only ending up with a deflated sense of confidence and the second wave of your childhood anger issues.

He nodded at you as you held the elevator door open for him. “What’s up, babycakes?” He chirped, popping his gum. When you hesitated to answer, he looked at you fully, scoffing. “Damn, walk of shame gone sour?”

You crossed your arms over your chest, inhaling deeply to try and calm your nerves. “I’m not really in the mood today,” you muttered, tucking your hands between your back and the wall.

He snorted, setting the box down between his feet. “You’re always in the mood! Isn’t that like your thing,” he continued to jeer. “You look like you had a fun night though-”

“Clay, stop. I’m serious,” barked at him. His expression twisting at your use of his name.

He raised his hands in mock defense. “Sorry, I thought we had---like a bit thing, um-” he cut himself off, awkwardly shoving his fists in his pockets. After a beat of silence between the two of you, the elevator came to a sharp halt on the wrong floor, the light switching to red. The two of you shared a look, knowing that the landlord was probably flipping the wrong switches again. Clay texted Nick to see what was going on.

It began to grow colder in the elevator, as it usually did. When it was off, the cold from outside usually seeped in through the elevator shaft. There was one time you were stuck in the elevator for a few hours with one of your neighbors and Karl when he had come to visit. Back then, the three of you played Uno on the guy’s phone. It was also summer, so the chill creeping up your legs wasn’t as intolerable as it was now.

You rubbed the arms of your sweater in hopes of generating some kind of warmth. Clay watched you carefully, his hands moving to grip the bar behind him. “Do you want my sweatshirt?” He offered. You shook your head, sliding onto the ground and hugging your knees to your chest. He hesitantly slumped down beside you, kicking his long legs out towards the door. The red light filling the space made his features look softer.

He nudged your arm gently with his own. “I know I’m not Sapnap, but…” he chewed on the inside of his cheek, shrugging slightly, “I mean, we’re stuck in here. We can talk about it.”

You blinked away the tears threatening to spill once again, your eyes burning and tired. “I haven’t slept with him, you know?” You stated, turning to look at him briefly before moving to sit cross-legged, planning with your fingers. “I’ve never even kissed him. I’ve never kissed anyone,” you scoffed. Clay was silent, but out of the corner of your eye, you could see him watching you intently.

Being this close to him, you could smell the smoky vanilla undertones of his cologne. The scent reminded you of a masculine version of the candle your aunt always burned when she went out for a night to spite her ex-husband.

Clay leaned his head back against the wood paneling, his soft blond hair flattening in the back to spread against the wall. You swallowed, sighing slightly. “I haven’t even had my first kiss yet and I’m getting groped on the bus and kicked out of my damn apartment because my roommate and her fucking boyfriend have to hook up on every surface. Nothing is sacred.” You shook your head, wiping away some stray tears with the back of your hand and sniffling pathetically. “You can keep making slut jokes, I don’t care. But I swear to God, I haven’t done anything with Sapnap. Or Karl, or Quackity. No one.”

He chuckled softly. “I know. That’s why I used to make those jokes,” he mumbled. “It was like… ironic humor. And then it got so far that the only way I knew you’d talk back to me was if I was fucking around with you,” he admitted. You chuckled slightly at his words, taking a deep breath.

“Oh, Dream,” you sighed. “I would have hooked up with you if you weren’t such an ass,” you chided. His laugh made you feel better. He held his hand out to you, more for support than anything, but as you laced your fingers with his, your heart eased, feeling safe beside him.

After a beat of silence, he spoke up again. "I can ride the bus with you now... if you want..." He offered, a shyness that seemed so foreign to his character shown through his eyes. "I promise I won't grope you," he joshed, making you roll your eyes.

"That's really not something we should be joking about," you mumbled, wiping away the rest of your tears on your sleeve.

His thumb brushed against the back of your hand soothingly. "I mask my awkwardness around you in dark humor. I'm sorry."

#dream imagine #dream fluff #dreamwastaken imagine #dreamwastaken fanfic #dreamwastaken fluff #dream x reader #dream x y/n #dream x you #dreamwastaken angst #dream angst #mcyt imagine #mcyt x you

[farklelucas]

Ok but i raise you this: which tdi characters do you think would be on tiktok idk why this is plaguing me but it is

okay so im going full first season cast, hosts, + world tour add ons, and im doing if they’re on it period, what they watch, and if they make content

alejandro - is on it; is both on thirst trap tiktoks and making thirst trap tiktoks. he might do like some. bs inspirational “all women are queens” tiktoks too and half of tiktok loves him and thinks he’s the perfect man and the other half dunks on him bc he’s obviously doing it to get bitches. either way he’s all over your fyp

beth - is on it and enjoys inspirational and self-help tiktok!! maybe booktok too?? she just vibes with that. she doesn’t make anything tho!

bridgette - yep!! she is deep in vegan/granola girl/animal tiktok, and that’s the kind of content she makes, too. she and geoff are disgusting and prominently feature on each other’s pages, but she also does some surfing stuff, some what i eat in a day, some vlog stuff.

chris - if you think chris doesn’t have the most unhinged celebrity tiktok. you remember that one shawn mendes tiktok where he stares into the camera and then is like “show me your best - *weird cut where he’s just standing in front of a toilet* - alright show me your best riff ill go first” all of his tiktoks are kind of like that bc he himself is unhinged, BUT it’s for some reason hot. like all the tiktok girlies are like “.... do i wanna fuck him? no. do i?” and they all do. he’s on all of those lists that’s like “who against your better judgement do you wanna fuck” everyone is in love with him. he probably gets caught in some scandal and canceled but lowkey makes a comeback. his fyp... i have No idea. dark humor tiktok maybe???? or thirst trap tiktok. idk he’s bonkers.

chef - chris’s first follower. otherwise he’s on gossip tiktok and military tiktok. that’s it!

cody - i have so many feelings about him in general so hold on tight. okay so first things first: absolute tiktoker. he definitely starts out trying to be like. cool and suave like alejandro but he fails. immediately. then he gets into his comedy era and THAT is where it’s at. he does some scripted content (or at least like... he has an idea for a joke and then just kind of goes off so he often ends up laughing at himself in the process which is just very endearing) as well as off the cuff commentary. people LOVE him. he’s the kind of tiktoker who doesn’t do any gay stuff but his content ends up on gay people tiktok yk. (then they spot the i flag in the back and start Screaming.) he does some vlog stuff too where he talks about/shows all his friends!! as for his fyp he gets a Lot of his mutuals most of the time, but other than that he is Also on gay humor tiktok. he’s probably also on some fandom tiktok (look at that boy and tell me he doesn’t watch anime like i just feel it in my heart) and thirst trap tiktok as well (he’s not proud). also ik i texted you this but he had a musical.ly too like he’s been here since the START

courtney - yes!! her fyp is a lot of fashion tiktokers/rich people vloggers i think, which is fitting bc she’s also a rich people vlogger. a lot of her tiktoks are a “day in the life” type vibe where she takes people on like her day around. it’s pretty soothing and people love that. however she also makes like... rant/debate tts that get way less views

dj - again, ALL OVER YOUR FYP. mans doesn’t mean to make thirst traps but he does make animal videos and everyone’s in love with him. i think his impact doesn’t last as long as alejandro’s bc he’s not being made fun of, think more like... the pug with bones. like he was hot for a minute and now really the only like Dedicated Ones are still there. and he’s on animal tiktok as well as positivity and affirmation tiktok!

duncan - duncan is on gay people tiktok bc im right. but like dark humor gay people tiktok. but like nothing that... harms other people you know. like his humor is fucked up but not at the expense of anyone (that’s right he’s a good boy deep down). also punk tok, like anyone with that style as well as a lot of musicians. he doesn’t make a lot of his own tiktoks, mostly he just features on courtney’s, but he Does sometimes duet or stitch alejandro’s content and either exaggeratedly replicates it or boos him. he does have a cult following just for that! he also makes fun of harold and justin in the same way xx

eva - gymtok girlie. like there’s no way around it. fitness queen. makes and watches fitness content

ezekiel - his parents won’t let him have tiktok

geoff - ABSOLUTELY and he’s mostly on like... dude comedy. like not bad per say like still nice and good but like. basic almost SLKDNKFNFLK anyway he also makes some vlogger/daredevil content too

gwen - okay so she was def anti tiktok. like the kind where cody would copy the link and send it to her via text if he wanted her to see something LKDNKFNFLKF BUT much like us she gets on tiktok when people say the government hates it bc she’s like anarchy. she’s immediately on art girl and bi girl tiktok. she doesn’t make anything at first but eventually cody shows one of her paintings in his own tt and people go NUTS like everyone wants to buy smth or comission smth so she starts making art girl tiktoks herself (and eventually bi girl tiktoks. not thirst traps tho.) 

harold - absolutely is on and makes tiktok. he probably makes a shit ton of nerd content (marvel, harry potter, etc.) and people either love him or hate him. he’s on nerd tiktok as well and specifically hot girl nerd tiktok too.

heather - i think she says she’s above tiktok but she does have a secret account where she’s subscribed to alejandro and like. leshawna and courtney. she’d never admit it. likewise she is thus on feminist and thirst trap tiktoks and maybe some gay tiktok which leads to some revelations xxx

izzy - izzy is on and defines unhinged tiktok. like she just comes on and says stuff and makes shit up. people are both captivated and confused by her. like she definitely never blinks when she’s on camera too. we would lowkey hate watch her i can feel it.

justin - also a thirst trap tiktoker, but he also makes those REALLY cringe pov videos. this is also all over his fyp.

katie - has a joint account with sadie where they make like. some fashion content but mostly it’s cringe. like dueting justin just to fan themselves. oversharing about their lives.

leshawna - FEMINIST ICON do y’all know drew afualo? leshawna also makes tiktoks just ending men’s entire careers. she does some plus size fashion content and some vlogging/lifestyle stuff too (that’s how a lot more people come to respect harold but she also gets so much hate for their relationship too), but it’s mostly feminist idealogy which. i would watch All of her videos. her fyp is similar content, feminist conversations and a lot of plus size creators, plus her mutuals (cody, gwen, dj, bridgette, etc)

lindsay - honestly she does fashion content but people mostly follow her bc she’s hot. but she’s on fashion tiktok!! like that’s her fyp. that and like hot guys.

noah - again i have a lot of feelings but i’ll try to keep this one concise. so he doesn’t make tiktoks, and he didn’t Want tiktok. but cody kept sending him links and bothering him about it so he eventually gave in. he is Heavily featured in both cody and owen’s tiktoks, so a ton of people follow him, but still he doesn’t make anything bc he thinks he’s way way too cool. gay tiktok (both gay humor and like... lgbtq studies/theory) and booktok for Sure.

owen - owen is all over foodtok, both in the content he makes and what he watches. he makes mukbangs (probably snippets/highlights from his youtube channel!!) and cooking tiktoks, but also some humor videos (and he has a lot of humor videos on his fyp). sometimes lifestyle too, and challenges!! he’s very well rounded and has a lot of followers bc he’s well-known for being so nice. his fyp also sometimes delves into absurdist humor bc he likes all of izzy’s videos.

sadie - see katie

sierra - ABSOLUTELY she has a tiktok and it is in fact a celebrity gossip tiktok. idk if you follow that one girl who reads all the blind items but like. sierra core. overanalyzing celebrity instagram posts and lifestyles and outfits and everything. she has a series where she does month by month hollywood predictions and she’s usually always right. people are obsessed with her.

trent - music tiktoker! he posts a lot of covers and original songs, and he watches music content as well. other than that it’s a pretty boring fyp.

tyler - lowkey also basic. he’s on hot girl tiktok, parkour tiktok, and athlete tiktok. nowhere we would ever wanna be. and he makes similar content!

#i had a lot of thoughts apparently #tdi #total drama island #total drama #td #nicole #loveallthatjazz #what kind of woman doesnt have an ask

[edgelordatlantic]

Reagan Ridley general hcs !!

im self projecting.

reader has social anxiety bc i said so

this is like after shes warmed up to you and your friends bc i dont feel like writing the background and blah blah blah

-

+ she hates seeing you lonely !!

+ she knows you have a hard time talking to people and connecting in general and she totally gets that

+ if she ever comes to lunch and sees the rest of the gang eating and chatting at one table and your alone at another table secretly wanting them to invite you over , she'll come be with you !!

+ she'll even sit directly across from you to try and block the view of everyone else to somewhat block them out , despite her short figure

+ she is also short bc i said so and i am the ceo of Reagan hcs 🤨🤨

+ id say nothing below 5'4 or above 5'7 , she just seems like a 5'6

+ she'll listen to music with you for sure

+ she had always kinda wanted to get into the habit of listening to music in hopes of getting a coping mechanism out of it but she never knew where to start

+ one day you suggested she listened with you and she was like " lmao okay sure " so you gave her a headphone and she actually rly liked your music taste

+ also , just to paint the image that in my head , you two are sitting at the lunch table still except now shes right beside you and you guys are using wired earbuds so you guys are pretty close to each other and either you or Reagan lay their head on the others shoulder , i can see it working either way

+ she also loves black coffee , any other coffee makes her want to puke

+ it also helps her poop and knowing her she would be so constipated without it ...

+ okay not the poop hcs 💀

+ she also checks up on you a lot , like 6 times a day a lot

+ every morning when you meet at work she always goes " have you eaten ?" and if you say no she'll rummage through her tote bag thingy and pull out a granola bar and kinda like slam it against your chest to make you grab it ( idk how to describe it but ive seen it in like movies and stuff lol ) and then go " Im gonna text you in a half hour and your gonna have finished it , okay ?"

+ she might seem rude but she's doing it out of love in her own way <3

+ if you say yes she'll ask what you had and blah blah blah cool conversation with super pretty smart and cool Reagan lol

+ she also frequently checks to make sure your hydrated and getting good sleep bc she knows shes not doing either of those things

+ lmao these are so boring sorry i am just v sad atm and i am v alone 😍😍

#inside job imagine #inside job x reader #reagan ridley #reagan ridley hc #reagan ridley x reader #reagan x reader #insidejob #inside job hc

[pretendrocketships]

are you still doing fluff concepts? i just really need post sex cuddles with shawn

About: After too many rounds, Shawn takes care of you

A/N: YES IM STILL DOING THEM AND I LOVED THIS BC I WAS JUST TALKING ABOUT THIS. Might’ve gotten carried away, but what’s new. I might make this a full length imagine one day.

“Hey love, you okay?” Shawn was whispering in between kisses to your cheek and neck. You moaned softly, moving further into his kisses. He smiled at your antics. “Did so good for me baby, took me so fucking well,” he praised while running his hands over your sides. He always spent the first few minutes after sex reassuring you, knowing that being intimate with him put you at your most vulnerable. He knew the little words of praise made your skin feel warm. He moved back, to your protest, to inspect your body. Any place he gripped a little too hard was being overwhelmed with kisses and gentle touches. “So beautiful baby.” The routine generally stayed the same.

“Shawnnn,” you whined as you felt the pressure from the bed change, signally he was leaving.

“Just grabbing a few things, angel, stay put for me, yeah?” his soft tone wafted through the air. The sound of his voice temporarily soothed you until he came back. “Sit up for me, love,” he whispered, running his fingertips along your back. You squirmed and turned away from him.

“No.” He didn’t have to look to know you were pouting. It happened every time.

“C’mon, angel, want my baby to feel good. Just take a few sips for me,” he coaxed. Dripping every sentence in pet names and sweet nothings to try and soften you up so you would soothe your throat with a little water. If he thought you could go a second round, it would turn into your favorite blue Gatorade, but today he could just tell you were spent.

“Don’t wanna move,” you muttered into the sheets. He would’ve sighed if you didn’t do the same thing every time he fucked you until you couldn’t move. He would let up if he didn’t know how much you thanked him for it in the morning.

“You’re not going to eat the granola bar I brought either, are you?” He asked, but it was more of a statement.

“You know me too well, baby.” He placed the snack on the bedside table while watching you curl up against the pillows. “Shawn, cuddle me. Now,” you demanded sleepily, just wanting to fall asleep wrapped up in the arms of your boyfriend, who you barely got to see, you wanted to remind him. He let out a laugh. If you weren’t being so stubborn you would be so cute right now.

“Okay. Deal, but you have to drink some water first, and eat the granola bar and let me clean you up.” You whined out and kicked your legs against the sheets.

“Shawn, I’m tired! I just let you fuck me for over two fucking hours. I want to sleep!” He could tell you were just tired and getting annoyed, but he always puts you first, even when you don’t.

“Get that, love,” he admitted, sitting on the bed to stroke your hair. His heart swelled when you moved towards him, nuzzling yourself against his side, “but, I know you always feel better in the morning after a little snack, some water, and when you’re not still sticky from my cum.”

“Shawn!”

“What?” he said laughing, “you know I’m right.” You grumbled against him and moved his hand back to your hair. “Five minutes, gimme five minutes to get you ready for bed, and I’ll cuddle you and play with your hair as long as you want, okay? Just lemme take care of you.”

--

as you can see, ITS SOFT SEASON ON THIS BLOG RN. AND IF I HAVE TO SUFFER SO DO YOU.

#shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes imagines #shawn mendes #shawn mendes blurbs #shawn mendes drabble #shawn mendes drabbles #shawn peter raul mendes #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes smut

[hermannsthumb]

Hermann preparing for date night with Newt by selecting where to eat solely by what he has a coupon for. Or, ya know, frugal connoisseur Hermann. <3 ksci

inspired by a convo re: the fact that ksci @k-sci-janitor likes to make fun of me for never letting a coupon go to waste even if it means walking like 2 miles in the cold to use it :/ like im gonna NOT get a free Baja blast. (there is one small little allusion to some M rated stuff towards the end in this)

-------------------

It’s not a rare occurrence that Hermann will treat Newt to dinner when the mood of dining out strikes them, but the point is that he’s doing it in a way that’s supremely…shifty tonight. Well, maybe not shifty. Weird? For one thing, he didn’t tell Newt where they were going until they were already on the bus headed there, for another, it’s their sharing-a-lab-anniversary, which tradition dictates they evenly split a bill (even if the origins have more to do with both trying to show up the other and take advantage and order the most expensive shit on the menu). The weirdest thing is definitely that, when Hermann got up to pay the bill five minutes ago—a small, folded piece of paper clutched in his hand—he left his wallet laying next to his wine glass on the table.

Newt stirs his straw around in his cup of soda, clinking ice cubes against the sides, and squints at the wallet. Did Hermann bring cash to pay with? He could’ve stuck some in his pockets without Newt seeing, or his bank card, even, which would explain the forlorn wallet. Or maybe forgetting the wallet was totally an accident, and he’ll be back in a few seconds to pick it up and pay for real when he realizes. That’s probably it.

When Hermann comes back to their table, though, he doesn’t bother with his wallet—he takes his seat, picks up his wine glass, and tips it at Newt. “That was quite lovely, wasn’t it?”

Newt hums. “It was.”

“I quite liked the fish I got,” Hermann says.

“I loved my noodles,” Newt says. “We should try to copy the recipe back at the base.” He sets his straw delicately on the table. “How’d you pay without your wallet?”

“My wallet?” Hermann says. He makes a show of catching sight of the wallet, arches his eyebrows in mock surprise, and picks it up. Here we go. “Oh, goodness. Did I forget this? Well—it’s not as if I needed it…” He tucks it neatly into his inner jacket pocket.

“Hermann,” Newt says, rolling his eyes. “What’d you do, get a hundred-percent discount by reminding them we saved the world a few months ago?” Hermann shakes his head, and takes a long sip of his wine. “Did you write a check? Did you pretend we got food poisoning or something?” Hermann shakes his head again, and this time, his mouth begins to creep up into a smug smile. Newt remembers the piece of paper. “Dude. You got us a fucking Groupon. No wonder you were being so weird about what I was ordering!”

(“I think we ought to stick with the entrees labelled B, Newton,” Hermann had said, flipping a page forward in Newt’s menu. “They look—er—far better.”

“More expensive,” Newt had said.

“What’s it matter? I’m paying.” Hermann had pointed at the noodle dish Newt had ended up getting. “Look, I reckon you’d like that.”)

Hermann finally grins triumphantly. “I did—and saved us quite a decent from our ‘date night’ fund. Pity it didn’t extend to dessert, I suppose, but we could always find some ice cream at the commissary later.”

Newt can’t even pretend to be exasperated. The noodles rocked. And they would’ve rocked even more if he knew that Hermann was saving them a few bucks. “You’re such a weirdo,” Newt says, shaking his head, though he’s mirroring Hermann’s grin. “Is that why you picked this place?”

“Not entirely,” Hermann says. He takes a long, slow sip of his wine. “Mostly I picked it to make a point.”

“About?”

“About my being right.”

Newt sighs. Only Hermann would dredge up old arguments on Lab Anniversary Night. It wasn’t even an argument, really—all that happened was that Hermann asked Newt to hand him his glasses cleaning cloth from his parka, and it took Newt almost ten minutes because Hermann’s pockets were so jam-packed with a million little coupons for everything from granola bars (which they can get from the mess hall for free) to mouthwash (which Newt can snag from the commissary, also for free, whenever they need it) that he couldn’t find anything but. A majority of them were expired. Then Newt remarked on how Hermann was nuts, and Hermann remarked on how Newt didn’t understand the value of making smart financial decisions, and they went back and forth for a bit like that. This was a whole week ago, too. In terms of Newt and Hermann arguments, that’s more than ancient history. “Are we really talking about the fucking coupons now?” Newt says.

“Frugality pays off,” Hermann says, cryptically. “Now we really ought to head out. The forecast is calling for rain, and I don’t fancy getting caught in it.”

They get caught in the rain anyway. Newt invites himself over to Hermann’s bunk to dry off, because Hermann bought a space heater back when they were stationed in Russia, and it travelled with him here to aid through the long nights of overpowering A/C. Right now, it’s aiding Newt through stripping out of his wet clothes. When he’s down to just his boxers, he snags the quilt from Hermann’s bed, and waits for him to finish up in his little en suite bathroom to hopefully catch a hot shower. One of the unexpected side effects of the world not ending and most nonessential personnel leaving the ‘dome in doves is that they almost never run out of hot water anymore. Newt can take a shower at midnight and not freeze his ass off. It’s awesome, really.

Hermann emerges from the bathroom in a dorky little pair of pajamas, a dressing gown knotted at his waist. “Oh, Newton,” he sighs, and prods at Newt’s blanket cocoon with his cane, “not my grandmother’s quilt.”

“I’m dry!” Newt says. “Mostly!”

He gives up the quilt to Hermann and ducks into the bathroom to brush his teeth. He stuck a spare toothbrush in the medicine cabinet at some point, for when he was too sleepy and lazy after makeout sessions to go back to his bunk, and sure enough he finds it alongside a suspiciously generic-looking tube of toothpaste. It doesn’t even have a label. He doesn’t think much of it until he starts to use it, which is when he immediately gags and begins to rinse his mouth out with hot water. “What the hell is this toothpaste?” he chokes out. “It tastes—awful.”

“Ah,” Hermann says. He ducks his head into the bathroom, looking a bit sheepish. “Well. I found a coupon for that brand, and I know it’s not very, er, pleasant, but—I saved forty percent, Newton.” Newt continues to rinse his mouth out, this time adding some mouthwash into the mix. “Oh, really, now you’re just being dramatic. It’s only toothpaste.”

“Dude,” Newt says. “I feel like I just rubbed, like, acid cement all over my gums.”

“Ah,” Hermann repeats, guiltily.

A bit later, Newt goes in to kiss Hermann goodnight as they settle into Hermann’s bed together, but pulls back with a sad little pout when Hermann merely flinches away from him. “Oh, Newton, I’m sorry,” Hermann says, quickly wrapping his arms around Newt and kissing his neck. It softens the blow somewhat. “It’s that bloody toothpaste. You still smell like it. You’re right, it’s rubbish.”

“Tell you what,” Newt says, grumpily. “I’ll buy you a brand new tube tomorrow. My treat.”

Newt mostly forgets about the coupon thing for a bit. The odd little item crops up in the lab that makes him roll his eyes fondly at Hermann, but nothing as major as the Groupon or toothpaste. Hermann’s preferred tea brand swapped out for something Newt’s never heard of in a flavor that Hermann clearly detests, if his face when he drinks it is anything to go by, for example, the chocolate digestives Hermann keeps in his desk replaced with plain ones, his new box of chalk all in a salmony shade of pink and weak enough to snap apart under his fingers if he presses down too hard on his chalkboard. When Newt asks about the changes, the answer’s always the same: Hermann had a coupon for them, or they were less expensive than his usual. Newt just wishes he could understand where this sudden bought of thriftiness came from. It’s not like it was back during the war, where they had to pinch pennies and save in every area they could if they wanted to supplement their nonexistent funding. They’re actually getting paychecks now, on behalf of the UN’s guilty conscience! They have free room and board! They even put a few neat bucks away from some (heavily-redacted) interviews they did back in late January.

What Newt’s getting at is Hermann doesn’t have to limit them ordering out sushi to only places with free delivery on date nights, or skimp on his pizza toppings (four-topping down to two) so they can use a better coupon, or buy any of those subpar teabags or digestives or toothpaste tubes. But he just…is.

The tipping point occurs on a Saturday night about a month after the Groupon incident.

“Nn. Hermann. Do that again.”

“Do—?"

“Yeah.” Newt groans, turning his head to the side. “Oh, shit.”

“Newton—” Hermann kisses his throat. “Newton, you’re—”

“Wait.” Newt pauses. “What is that?”

“Oh, er.” Hermann pulls his hand away. “You mean the—the—?”

“Yeah. It feels…weird.” He frowns. “That is not what we used last time.”

“Oh. No. It isn’t.” Hermann clears his throat. “Well, Newton—see—we were out, so I thought I’d—I’d buy a larger bottle, to last us longer, and I happened to find a coupon for this lovely—er—gallon-sized—”

“You’re kidding,” Newt says.

“Only I thought it was a very frugal purchase,” Hermann says. “We do tend to, er, burn through it rather quickly.”

Newt rolls away from him. “Dude. We need to have a talk.”

Some brief amount of time later, they sit together on the end of Hermann’s bed, clad in their pajama bottoms and, in Hermann’s case, one of Newt’s sweatshirts. Newt waits until Hermann meets his eyes blushingly before he proceeds. “What is up with you lately?” he says. “You’ve been acting so—weird. Weirder than usual,” he amends. “Since when have you cared about saving a couple bucks on random shit like pizza?”

Hermann fidgets, and sighs, and finally reaches to pull open the drawer of his nightstand. He retrieves a piece of paper folded into quadrants, and for a wild moment Newt thinks it might be another Groupon. “Oh, I wanted it to be a surprise,” Hermann says. “I was going to wait until it was all finalized—but it’s close enough now, so I suppose there’s no harm in it.” He thrusts the paper out at Newt, and Newt—still wondering if it’s not another Groupon—unfolds it with surprise to find what looks like a flight itinerary. Two tickets for Hong Kong to Boston, with a short layover; then two more tickets a week after they land for a short trip from Boston to some town in Maine Newt recognizes as being seaside. They’re made out to Hermann Gottlieb and Newton Geiszler and purchased a little over a week ago.

“You kept telling me you wanted me to meet your father,” Hermann says, and rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. “And—I thought it might be nice, to have an—er—vacation, for a few days. We’ve certainly earned one. And it’s not as if we have any truly pressing obligations at the moment that can’t be put on hold for a week or two. I was planning on booking us a little cottage up in Maine—or maybe just a hotel room, I hadn’t decided—but we don’t have to if you don’t—”

“And you’ve been saving up for it?” Newt interrupts.

“For a few months now,” Hermann says. “Since February, in fact.”

“And that’s why…?”

The tips of Hermann’s ears turn red. “Every penny helped,” he says.

Newt carefully re-folds the itinerary, sets it aside, and then kisses Hermann soundly. It would be safe to say that Hermann’s thoughtful, romantic moods tend to be on the spontaneous side, probably as spontaneous as they are in Newt, so when one strikes Hermann (and in such a perfectly Hermann way as this one) Newt doesn’t like to take it for granted. “Of course I wanna go on vacation with you,” Newt says. “You rock. Seriously.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Hermann says, looking pleased.

#newmann #maria's fanfiction tag #Anonymous

[5-falsehoods-phonated]

Parting Gift

Summary: Virgil navigates an empty world he didn't see before and he can't see now. Thankfully the modified roomba his parents left him helps in the absence of people.Just a silly little fic I thought of because we recently got a robot vacuum.

Warnings: apocalypse scenario, food mention, insinuated death (not described or shown), mild swearing. If there’s more please let me know!

Ships: background Lociet (background Logan x Janus)

WC: 2405

General Taglist (ask to be added or removed) @im-an-anxious-wreck @logans-library

The tap-tap-tapping of Virgil’s cane as he moved along the road matched perfectly with the beat playing out of the one working earbud in his ear. Whatever town or residential area he had stumbled into was quiet and barren though seemingly not nearly as destroyed as the last one he had been in. Changing direction slightly as he has started to stray into wet grass he continued along what he assumed was a sidewalk, carefully feeling for the edge to make sure he was centered before continuing to sweep the cane in front of him to avoid whatever rubble or trash or non working car might have ended up on the side of the cracked road. 

Virgil didn’t know what the world had looked like before and he could only imagine what it looked like now. Everything had happened so fast he doubted he’d be able to recognize it anyway. He had never been able to see and it had never bothered him as much as it did now; with no way to know if someone was on the road other than the sound of footsteps he hadn’t heard in months and nothing to keep him company except his music and- well he supposed he couldn’t complain. Tripping slightly over a stray rock he hadn’t felt brought him back from his thoughts and into the real world once again, shivering as he realized just how cold it was getting and how truly tired he was from walking all day.

Continuing on only a couple more feet revealed a pathway leading off to what he hoped was a house or a store. As bad as he sometimes felt about it, there was no one around anymore- at least as far as he had managed to travel thus far- no one would miss a couple cans of ravioli and a few bottles of water if he could manage to scrounge them up. The walkway seemed pretty thin leading away from the main road so he assumed he was in a residential area with houses rather than near anything like a general store or pharmacy; he really hoped he came across one soon he was running low on band-aids. He could only do  so much with a cane and though he wished his palms and knees were tougher by now that he wouldn’t have to bandage them every time he fell sadly his callus just wasn’t thick enough.

Long grass brushed his ankles under his too short jeans, wispy blades rustling quietly as he passed. He took his headphone out as he walked after turning on the beat up ipod and pressing where he knew the pause button was from years of the same motion. Crickets began their evening concert as the birds finished their own, the air growing cooler as Virgil imagined the sun finally dipping below the horizon. He shifted the weight of his book bag more to one shoulder as he slipped it off the other hoping to reach an entryway of some sort soon since his feet were protesting the day of doing nothing but picking a direction and walking. Hitting a step he nudged the cane up until he could judge how high it was- sometimes they were high enough to trip him and other times they were so low they were more of an annoyance than anything else- and carefully made his way up all three of them. There were plastic feeling columns on either side of the top step so he assumed he was on the front porch of a house, some careful prodding revealing one of those rubber welcome mats he was constantly getting the soles of his shoes stuck on since when he was tired he refused to pick his feet up properly. He faintly heard his dad telling him to straighten his back and walk like he was alive but he shook it off with an eye roll. Posture didn’t matter if there was no one around to see it.

Fumbling around a minute for the door handle he stopped as his cheeks reddened, reaching up to knock first. Just because he hadn’t run into anyone yet didn’t mean it couldn’t happen and he  really didn't want to break into someone’s home if they were still there and startle them. He didn’t fancy getting shot after so long of surviving o his own and to have that compromised because he was a heathen who didn’t knock anymore would be an idiotic way to go for sure. KNocking, however, proved fruitless. Nothing answered but the crickets though as he knuckle raps turned to rather loud pounds on the door they began to quiet. A part of him still wished sometimes that someone would answer, it had been so long since he’d heard another voice. He knew realistically that if he was still here there would have to be other survivors and that if he kept walking he was bound to run into them. 

After years of doing nothing but that had yet to turn anything up though, and it seemed that this time would be no different. His hand fell to the knob once again as he took a breath and held it before twisting and pushing open the door. Hesitantly sniffing the air revealed nothing but old, unaired house smell and dust that had been kicked up from the bottom of the door brushing the carpet in the entryway. He sneezed loudly, the sound echoing sadly as if the house had missed the concept of sound, and wiped his nose on his sleeve before sighing in relief. Sometimes he entered a house or store and there would be...different smells. Ones that would make him gag and bolt from the building so the hot, cloying scent wouldn’t stick to his cloths. Those days were declared laundry days anyway, sullenly dunking his clothes in the rivers he always stuck close to trying to rid himself of the memory with the fresh smell of laundry detergent and sunlight. The day after that was spent moving as far away as he could as quickly as he could to get away from the dark scent that hung on the streets. It was safer to scrounge out granola bars from the bottom of his bag on those days than to risk looking for anything more substantial in the buildings he might be able to get into.

As it was Virgil stepped in the house and carefully closed the door behind him, swinging his bookbag around and cringing at the sound of the zipper echoing faintly in the doorway. Grabbing a smaller, padded drawstring bag out he opened it and carefully set the Roomba down, giving it a little pet before turning it on. It beeped out a pleasant little tune before the whirring sound of it starting up and moving away filled the house and he smiled, leaving his bag by the door and getting up to explore the house with Stuart.

Stuart the vacuum, as dumb as it was, was Virgil’s only source of company and had been since he was about four. The world was already crumbling at that point and rather than risking going out and about to find Virgil a seeing eye pet that wouldn’t last his whole lifetime if he lived long, his dads had modified their small vacuum for him in the hopes that it would last. And it had. Rather than having to plug into a power source it was solar charged, which the front of the bag it was kept in and his backpack was clear plastic to allow it to charge during the day, storing hours of energy to be able to work when Virgil needed it. Instead of vacuuming it simply went about bumping into things and storing a digital map of any small area, letting Virgil then walk beside it and stop when it beeped, nudging him in a different direction so he didn't bump into or trip on anything. This of course was before he was proficient with feeling his whereabouts with his cane adn at this point it was like letting a trusted pet out for its nightly walk rather than out of any necessity but Virgil loved it as if it was a dog. His most loyal companion...who he kept in his bag all day. He snorted as he felt out what was feeling to be the kitchen; he’d take anything over the oppressive silence of an empty house.

His mouth tightened as he felt around in cabinets for cans- all smooth labels of course, nothing to differentiate the corn from the beets from the manwich spread. He hated the fact that dinners were so often a surprise just because no one had thought to universalize a system to put a bit of braille on cans. Even some raised lettering underneath the label spelling out one word descriptors would be fine, instead he could only go by smell and taste and hope to god nothing he put in his mouth had expired. He missed grilled cheese and fried chicken and french fries- all things he didn’t have the means or resources to make. He never learned to hunt or slaughter anything and he doubted he’d be able to learn when he didn’t even know how to tell what parts of an animal to eat, let alone see what he was doing to cut it out and cook it. He was lucky he taught himself how to start a fire some years ago- he couldn’t imagine actually catching a fish and knowing when it was cooked enough to eat without just burning it to a crisp. Sighing as he opened a can with his old can opened he tentatively sniffed at the contents. 

Baked beans were good. He’d rather have them hot but he had no motivation to go out and start a fire right now and there was no way in hell he was going to try inside- so cold bean jelly it was. He’d had worse. He grabbed his cane from where he had leaned it against the counter and began walking back into what he assumed would be the living room as Stuart beeped to notify him he was done. Smiling as he felt a small nudge he changed direction to navigate around what felt like a dusty leather couch and settled on the floor in front of it to eat his dinner. Stuart came to rest beside him while he dug a spoon out of the smaller bag he always carried and he smirked slightly, feeling around to place a single baked bean on top of the vacuum as a reward for a job well done. 

He tucked in as he thought of what his dads would say about him doing that; both of them would more than likely find it endearing but relentlessly tease him about it for the rest of his life. He imagined his father’s face wrinkling up in an amused smile, scars tugging around crows feet and wispy hair tickling his fingertips. Dad’s smile was a lot smaller but no less sincere, mostly held in his eyes that had his lower eyelid just barely lifting. He missed feeling their faces- they’d let him do it whenever he’d ask to make sure he knew what emotion they were displaying. Both of them were awkward when it came to voicing their feelings and Virgil was always terrible at picking up social cues from simply listening, so being able to read a face as easily as a book often helped put them all at ease.Idly he brushed the top of Stuart’s “head”, feeling nothing but cool, hard plastic beneath his fingers. 

He cleaned up as best as he could, throwing the top of the can away in a trash bin after wiping it off and setting the actual can on the back porch with another full one for whatever might come by. His cane was carefully tucked just underneath the couch as he unrolled his sleeping bag and small pillow to get comfy for the night, placing his little vacuum by his head before snuggling down into bed and sighing quietly. Reaching out he felt for the button on the side of the roomba, a little rough and worn from years of the same routine of day. Biting his lip he pressed it in before snatching his hand away and tucking himself in completely, squeezing his eyes shut like he’d been sleeping all along.

“Is he asleep?” His father’s silky voice cut through the silence.

“I should hope so, it’s dark out and he needs his rest.” Dad was always very matter of fact, Virgil could imagine his arms crossing as he sat on the edge of the bed.

“...Do you want to start or should I?”

Virgil’s dad sighed. “I hope that you got to sleep at a reasonable hour this time, and that you had a good dinner that was as balanced as you could make it. That- that you’re somewhere safe-”

HIs father stepped in smoothly. “We hope that you’re taking care of yourself as best as you can, and taking care of Stuart as well. Hopefully there are people around that can help you when you need it and you aren’t afraid to ask for it- but if there aren’t I know you’re capable enough on your own.”

“We wish you only happiness, no matter how bad things are or get, always remember that it has the capability to get better as long as you are willing to work for it. I know whatever you’re working on or towards you’re doing the absolute best you can do, and we couldn’t be more proud.”

“We love you, Virgil. So, so much and don’t you ever forget that. take care of yourself and please stay safe.”

“Goodnight, Virgil.” He could still remember Dad brushing his fingers through his hair before the weight had disappeared from the bed.

“Goodnight, Virgil. Sweet dreams.” He felt a phantom kiss on the cheek from memory long since passed, the blankets pulled up and tucked around him. The door creaked shut and the recording ended, Stuart beeping softly to indicate he was shutting down. Safely tucked into his sleeping bag with a full stomach in the silence, Virgil let his eyes drift shut, a smile still on his lips as he fell into a peaceful sleep.

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#false writes #sanders sides #sanders sides fic #blind virgil #virgil sanders #blind virgil sanders #tw food mention #food mention #tw swearing #mild swearing #apocalypse au #apocalypse mention #ao3 #insinuated death