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ackermanshoe · 2 years

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Thinking about how sad Levi seemed in 139 when Mikasa left him to bury Ereh's head and how Levi seemed so unhappy that Mikasa wasn't with him despite the fact that Levi was surrounded by a ghost orgy of dead comrades just so LeviH*ns, Riv*tras, Er*ris, etc. could pretend their ship is canon.

LOL

I remember people trying to convince me that after mikasa leaves him Levi lost feelings for her and whatnot and I was like huh? 😭

“Crazy or not, that kind of love never dies”

I will stand by this quote bc it applies to all of my ult ships 🕯 I will speaking from my opinion in which I, as many readers, believe Levi did in fact love her.

While I do think when Levi was on the ground and crying right after erens rushed death, he was seeing his dead Comrades, remembering what the war has led up to and everything in between and so much emotions built up inside him that caused his tears to fall. I can’t argue with that fact that Levi’s 1st squad & LE meant so much to him and they + other reasons made him cry and it was a given that he was going to cry in the final chapters ( at least to me)

But

Afterwards when we see him with falco & gabi, he doesn’t look happy nor content ( you can try to see him having a happy ending if you want but that was not what his face was giving ! ) I know the aeroplane panel some shippers tried to related to them missing hanji, which is valid, but with all due respect, no ❤️

He clearly wasn’t happy with how the ending with mikasa happened, how they never shared a goodbye instead their story was half written and his last words to her being “got it, mikasa” if I were Levi I would be upset too, but Levi is not the kind of man to give up on someone he loves so much.

For so many years he’s watched mikasa obsess over eren, he even acknowledged her feelings for him and ( as I mentioned like a billion times in my blog) gave her a wake up call, to come back to reality and all of it without ever being selfish or forceful. Clearly being left without the one person he has left to care for most in the entire world, he’s upset and broken. Although, Levi being sad over mikasa leaving again as in following eren to his grave is something we all hoped her not to do but here we r I guess 😭, but Levi was going to meet to her, they had their whole life ahead of them, to learn, to teach, to love and live and to heal. If there’s anyone who wouldn’t give up on mikasa, that person is Levi and it always has been. 139 ending simply showed another universe where things happened differently but Levi & mikasa’s relationship stayed untouched, every panel with Levi only told me he going to see her and they’re going to be together. And one more thing, even if mikasas’ feelings for eren was just as everlasting, 139 doesn’t even give us anything close to the actual mikasa because why would she abandon Levi, who btw she care abt so much knows was injured, to keep erens head after she finally decided to accept her feelings? That was not what 138 mikasa was giving, mikasa doesn’t only care about eren, I refuse to believe that even if her alt dream eren coincidentally looking like Levi meant NOTHING, there would still be a tiny bit of logic , feelings towards Levi within her to care about him more than what we were given. Chapter 139 was just wrong. Period, I will not argue.

As for the other ships you mentioned in the ask, isayama made no couple officially canon. And that is the hard truth that many people don’t accept so each to their own I guess although I will laugh and criticise for others being delusional as I am with their own ships, I don’t think I care about them enough to constantly talk about them ( expect #that ship, you know I will always hate that one 🤨)

#rivamika #rivamikacanon #ask ackermanshoe

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redxblueihateloveyou · 3 years

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I'm surprised people see Tadashi as the victim in his relationship with Ainosuke, when it's Tadashi the one who time and time again takes away Ainosuke's agency, without being able to see that he is throwing him unto unhappiness. I can't help but think that if Tadashi was not working at Shindo's house, Ainosuke would have maybe left or broke with the family. But he can't do that if he wants the relationship with Tadashi going on, seing how Tadashi is set on enforcing the family rules...

Hmm.. I def agree with the fact that Tadashi is not what most fandom makes out of him, my man (I mean, Adam’s man) is a 100% Slytherin. But I disagree with blaming him for this, after all the revealed info. The environment they were both raised in made their situation complicated.

I like Tadashi a lot, he’s probably my fav thing about this anime, bc he’s a dark horse, and I’m once again surprised, that so little ppl see him for who he really is, portraying him as an innocent puppy, which he is definitely not.

Now to why I think both Tadashi and Adam are victims of the dad and aunties in this situation.

We can of course say “if only they told each other how they really feel...”, but like we can say it about any love story really. Every author knows it’s no fun. The truth is that yes, they both hurt each other, and yes, if they were honest about their feelings things would’ve been different, but as I’ve already wrote under that “toxic” commentary on YT, lets look at the whole situation from both of their point of views:

We know that Adam when he was little always treated Tadashi as an equal, he never ever thought of him as someone lower than him and after their fall out, the only reason for this “harsh” treatment (well, besides their confirmed kink) was that Adam tried to get a reaction out of him, so Tadashi would stand up for himself, bc Ainosuke got mad about Tadashi caving to his dad’s wishes and abandoning him, when he needed him the most.

But now, knowing the fact that Tadashi was his dad’s secretary and was under his control, let’s see it from his perspective: Tadashi wanted to stay by Adam’s side, Adam’s dad implied that if Tadashi did say smth, he’s gonna be.. well, dismissed and they won’t see each other ever again. That’s what caused Tadashi to stay silent in that moment. Ainosuke instead saw this as a “he’s not on my side” thing, well, because. Tadashi won’t tell him his problem, bc dad and aunties control everything, so even if he does tell him, what a teen would do really? He didn’t have any powers back then to make his dad do anything.

And that’s when it all gone to shit, since they both were hurt for their own reasons. It’s easy to say leave the family, but 1stly nobody explained to Adam still that he’s physically and psychologically abused by his family, he sees it as them “loving him” and sadly also loves them, bc nobody told him, that love wasn’t supposed to be like that really. He definitely feels that smth is not right and feels emotionally exhausted there bc of this treatment, but did he ever consider leaving? I really don’t think so. He feels obligated to be worthy of a family, who “loves” him.

Do you think, for example, that Akashi Seijuro hates his dad for what he did to him? No. Does he understand that he wasn’t at fault for what happened to him and that his dad instead of comforting his child after his mother’s death, who was his only safe haven, made everything worse? I don’t think he does. Like his mom gave him basketball, an escape from all that family’s obligations and strictness. After her death, it was the only thing left that brought him joy, but his dad ruined even that, saying that if he’s gonna be bad at it/lose, he’d take it away from him too. Does Akashi see this as emotional abuse? No, he sees it like “well, I have to be the best bc I was born in such powerful family, so if my dad says that I must be best at everything, then I must.”

I personally hate such parents a lot. To me it doesn’t matter if Adam’s dad didn’t know about aunties hitting his child. Like if he was too busy to notice this and have no time for his kid and made his childhood miserable, it doesn’t make it any better really.

Same as with Akashi’s dad. Some are like “he was probably also grieving about his wife”. Emm? He was like this from the beginning, bc he treated Akashi not as his son, but as his heir. And yes, that’s different things. Same with Endeavor and Todoroki. Your child is not your post production thing.

2ndly they were too young, even if they knew about each others feelings and he didn’t feel obligated and told everyone to fuck off, they’d be on the streets now, but also Adam’s dad doesn’t seem like a guy who’d leave them alone really. Also eloping seems very romantic, but I don’t think it is, esp when you’re teens. Did you want him to sell some expensive watch and go live on Hawaii or smth? Bc finding a decent job there would be difficult at this age, esp with everyone knowing who your dad is. Chen Ke from “Antidote” survived bc he was 27 and had connections and some great friends. Adam was in high school, where would he go exactly?

Now let’s go back to now. Obviously all this time it didn’t even cross Tadashi’s mind that for Ainosuke he comes first and that he would throw everyone under the bus to make Tadashi stay with him. As we see at the end, he legit believed that Adam was planning to send him to jail and didn’t get that he said it just to shaken he up and that he knew who he’d set up for this from the beginning.

To Adam obviously it doesn’t matter whether they’re in a quarrel or not, he would never him go. Yes, he’s mad at him, he’s angry and hurt, but Tadashi’s still the person he needs the most, he’s still the person who brightens his days, even tho he deliberately behaves like he annoys him. He always looks at him and looks at him and looks at him, but then hisses smth to hurt him. Bc he knows that he needs him, but he also hates that he needs him, bc he thinks it’s unrequited.

And that’s how their classic romance goes in hellish circles. No one wants to talk as usual. Adam is mad Tadashi is like that bc his dad turned him into a slave with no opinion, while Tadashi is scared that Adam would be taken away from him bc of his ugly family.

Now I still think that no one and I mean no one can take Tadashi from Adam now, he is his precious. So my plan is... if Tadashi made aunties do smth against him or to get rid of him, aunties will go for sure. The problem is Tadashi still doesn’t get that he comes first, so we’re stuck in this hell still.

So anyways, my point is Adam’s heart basically sings “you got a hold of me, don’t even know your power” to Tadashi, but he doesn’t hear it, bc of his insecurities, the way he was raised and his status. But yes, he holds all the power. He’s both Adam’s sanity and insanity. No matter how cheesy it sounds he was basically his only ray of sunshine in the darkness, if you take it away, that’s what it leads to, that’s why Ainosuke-sama needs more ppl who care for him. I don’t want anyone to die next time, just cause Tadashi and Adam fought about where to put their new couch lmao. I’m kidding, but you know what I mean. And kill the aunties, pls seriously, we need to be free.

Also ppl need to remember that like lots of animes/characters are parcially inspired by some other animes/characters, also the chosen seiyuus are also very important, there are lots of stuff like jokes and references, that creators use, from characters being fully inspired by smth like “Assassination classroom” characters based on KNB, to little stuff like Levi dressed in Akashi’s uniform in chibi AOT bc Hiroshi Kamiya. Utsumi already said before stuff like she sometimes think of a perfect voice for the character and then fully forms him, we also know her clear love for sports animes. So yes, I doubt Tadashi/Kuroko thing is a coincidence and even tho someone was like “zone? is this knb or smth?” I was like no, zone is actually a common thing in sports, even tho most associate it with KNB including me, it’s not like its their invention, but there were things inspired by this for sure, and from other sports animes too and no, I don’t mean the basic sports anime tropes, I mean, like way too specific things, some character designes, too. And yes, Langa appearence and personality wise is a rinharu child for real, I can literally split his scenes in “that’s Haru”, “that’s Rin”.

That’s why I’ve said that this situation in fandom reminds me of Kuroko/Akashi situation a lot, bc same as here in KNB ppl for some reason automatically thought that Kuroko is this innocent sheep and Akashi is the wolf (but also like it was Akashi who chose to dress as red riding hood, while Kuroko was a wolf lmao), not even seeing who is in reality more dangerous and who can easily control who. It just buffles me bc it’s not some deep analisys really. I mean once again there’s a reason for the saying that the sub holds all the power over the dom.

And like just bc someone yells or threatens ppl constantly doesn’t necessarily mean he is a psycopatic killer, and just bc someone is quiet and doe-eyed, doesn’t mean he isn’t. I didn’t think we needed to explain this to someone, but aparently we do?

And it honestly kills me just how superficially ppl are watching things these days. It really gives me war flashbacks to stuff like the last mdzs s1 episode, where ppl started to comment things like “how LZ can be so heartless” lmao. Or that anonymous ask “do you think haru misses rin?”. Like you don’t see thing at all? Grey substance no needed, while watching things?

P.S. I also would die to see Adam vs Tadashi race just bc I for some reason can bet all my money, that it’s the same situation as with Akashi refusing to ankle break Kuroko, no matter how mad he is. I just can’t imagine Ainosuke hitting Tadashi in the face with a board. Like 100% sure he wouldn’t even try tbh.

#answered #anonymous #tadaai #tadashi kikuchi #shindo ainosuke #adam x tadashi #sk8 #sk8 the infinity #anime #this is what i think about these two at least

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magireco · 3 years

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out of curiosity what do you think of the characterization of homura in rebellion? i hugely dislike it but get the impression you enjoy it which i think is interesting cuz we seem to have very similar thoughts on homura pre-rebellion (CORRECT ME IF I AM WRONG)

THIS IS INTERESTING BECAUSE IT DEPENDS ON WHAT FLAVOR OF REBELLION HOMURA YOU MEAN. i really really like the way she was done in the first half of the movie but as for the twist at the end...? mmm...

...okay, so... i've been thinking about saying this at some point but i keep avoiding it in fear of causing discourse and such bc... this is a really unpopular opinion apparently, but I really do not think devil homura was done properly. read under the cut if you wanna know why i feel this way!

the first issue i'm going to address is that there wasn't NEARLY enough buildup for it. i'm going to explain this from the perspective of a first-time viewer: what would you have thought would happen after the very last scene of rebellion leading up to them breaking homura out of her soul gem? when homulilly got purified and the flowers on her head turned to sakura flowers (y'know, the flowers that symbolize life and rebirth, homura being reborn from her witch)? did you think homura was suddenly gonna undermine madoka's godliness? because, uh, first-view me did not think that at all. and neither did almost anyone i know who watched it for the first time. not only is that poor setup but it's just so sudden and it feels so out of character compared to what we'd seen in the entire series as a whole, especially considering that the entire last part of the movie leading up until that was about purifying her... and saving her... there wasn't enough buildup. most people are like "but the flower scene happened!" but that's still way too vague...? it's hard to tell what conclusion homura comes to at the end, because we don't get to see any of her internal monologue... there is no other buildup after the flower scene... it just skips to homura realizing she's a witch. wouldn't that bring the viewer to think the flower scene was something that made homura realize she was a witch rather than her suddenly starting to form her plan? it always felt like to me the conclusion homura came to at the end of the flower scene was that she was validating madoka's bravery and telling her that if it ever came to that, she'd have the ability to make that hard decision. which is... so... weird? because i always interpreted that as homura coming to terms with what happened? i could just be interpreting it wrong though, but isn't that supposed to be our proof scene? our buildup scene? why would they make it so hard to understand? we need to know such important buildup points just as blatantly as the natural buildup to homura becoming a witch was. that's just from a moviemaking & writing perspective though.

secondly, i'm gonna discuss homura's motive. i actually ended up understanding were she was coming from after a while of being like "what the hell that makes zero sense!!!!". madoka is a 14-year-old girl who, in order to save the fate of every magical girl, literally had to sacrifice herself and erase herself from the world, and in the end, madoka just ended up saving homura again, and that must've made homura feel like her promise with madoka was never fulfilled. it's unfair what happened when you think about it and the law of cycles should not have been run by madoka herself because she, as any other 14 year old, deserves to be happy on earth. although it was said in magireco that madoka felt happy with what she was doing (and she felt like it truly gave her a purpose), she did admit to feeling lonely and homura probably made that assumption big time. but the way the writers went about it just made her seem so sinister... so out-of-character-ly sinister. what with the evil smirking and the deepened, almost... uh, sensual-seeming voice, and homura completely ignoring madoka's fear. it feels like they twisted her character extremely suddenly and it throws the viewer on a loop. they could've gone with that ending without making such drastic and sudden changes to homura's character, and if they were planning on doing that, why did they not give us more buildup? buildup that wasn't extremely cryptic that you have to scan and search every detail to get a clue? something i love about rebellion is that every time you watch you find something new, but how come some of the only clues illuding to devil homura's existence are in the op? it's odd. why didn't they go with something like making the incubators run the law of cycles? they were the ones at fault for causing it to be created. but honestly, the incubators cannot be trusted with anything, which is why it'd make sense for a magical girl to run the law of cycles, but if homura and madoka had the combined power to do so, what if they just remade the law of cycles so it was less unfair to madoka...? i don't know. either of those possibilites would make more sense than what happened.

something else that kind of irks me about it is that they demonized(literally, lol) homura's love for madoka. homura is very much a canon lesbian, and it's incredibly discomforting to me that they made her seem, outwardly to the viewer, so selfish...? please don't get me wrong, i'm not ACTUALLY calling homura selfish -- i know the entire akumura facade is a mask she put on, but like, it's so much more blatantly sinister than she is in the series when she's putting on the coolmura facade. it's going to really confuse the viewer and see every single one of her actions from the entire series in a completely different light, INCLUDING stuff that happened in rebellion itself. like the genuine sadness homura felt, the way we saw into her soul and felt her pain, that genuinely made a lot of people i've seen think that it was ingenuine upon first inspection... they made homura turn "evil" out of her love for madoka, as if it's a bad thing to fall in love, and as if love for another girl was what corrupted her soul gem... i understand that gen urobuchi probably wanted to explore that kind of path where love leads to obsession or whatever, but homura was selfless to a fault, constantly trying to force herself away from the others in order to not get attached, and deeply afraid of seeming creepy and predatory and scaring(she said this herself), which is exactly what she ends up doing at the end, and i feel so awful that they did that to her... how is the viewer supposed to know what her true motives are at that point? it gets all scrambled up after they did that huge plot twist. i'm going to address another thing super quick before people jump in my ask box over this, i understand also that it would make sense for homura to be obsessed with madoka, but in the series, it was never shown in this light, and like i said, if they were going to do this, why'd they even have the purification scene at the end at all? the buildup is all wrong . it also just made me upset that this ending caused SO many people to start literally believing homura is evil because of her actions at the end, and it made people become even more vehement on their beliefs that homura is obsessive and ps*cho...

i was really confused when i watched it for the first time (and also sobbing hysterically, literally, my funniest rebellion story as someone who has genuinely watched the movie 40-ish times, i remember vividly the first time i watched it i started sobbing on my hands and knees on a yoga mat in my mom's room). also like, just to prove my point a teensy bit more, the ending was so ambiguous and out of nowhere that one of the first google results to "madoka magica rebellion" is "madoka magica rebellion ending explained" because it shocked people so much that that was the first thing they needed to google. also, the fact they left us on such a vague cliffhanger and then abandoned the movie series for a total of 8 whole years only to make a sudden comeback in god's holy year of 2021 was almost cruel. LIKE GUYS I JUST FINISHED UP MY DEVIL HOMURA HEADCANONS IT TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH!!!

...anyways, um, i really have to address the sexualization. madoka magica, previously, was a series that avoided fanservice in the show, at least, but why did they make akumura's design look like that...? it shows an unsettling amount of skin and like, every three seconds in the end they're focusing intensely on her lips and her eyes and... it's almost like the writers forgot she was 14, but they never seemed to forget that in the series? what happened????? in the transformation scene, we get closeup views of homura's thighs and back and stuff and it's all open everywhere... they made her tights into thigh-highs... in the whole series, even when she went to school, she always wore tights, and she was wearing tights in her magical girl outfit too... they absolutely deliberately did that to sexualize her further so they could make official art with her thighs out. speaking of official art that unsettles me, why does so much of the official art make the whole outfit just glued to her body and you can see all the shading on her features... it's just. ugh. anyways.

i went off a LITTLE too much on this and i know this is probably gonna get me some weird glances in the fandom and i am open to hearing other people's opinions but i don't think i'll ever stop disliking the effect this plot twist had on the fandom's interpretation of homura and although i'm like UNDENIABLY incredibly hyper excited for the next movie, i'm kind of...nervous for what this is going to bring? i don't want this next movie to cause the same amount of discourse the ending of rebellion did and i legit just want to see homura happy. another one of my main issues with the ending is just that homura is SO unhappy when she literally deserves to be happy SOOOOOOO BAD and just take a break from all the loops ... i'm Praying to madokami out there that that's what happens.

i know this is all really funny coming from someone who draws devil homura on a regular basis and literally writes her, but like... i'm a lesbian i'm allowed to<3

ANYWAYS thanks for listening this was a fun ask!!!

#asks #neorattz #rambles #analysis #rebellion tag #IM DEADASS AFRAID TO DROP THIS #like... something i was too afraid to mention is that i Have unlisted disorders that are heavily stigmatized #and the reason why they are unlisted is literally bc of that #and i feel like i'm allowed to have a negative stance on this kind of thing because of that #not that someone who doesn't have those things isn't allowed to have these opinions OR opposing opinions but like #i've seen some people choose to cope through devil homura which like.#i get that.#and then i've seen other people use devil homura as an example on why homura is an obsessed psycho girl who only loves madoka #and hates everyone else #which is also partially where my issue stems from.#it's complicated. just like the ending of rebellion!!!!! LOLL

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waynedunlaptheorgandonor · 3 years

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hey so “find me” dropped on premiere and i just watched it, so you know what that means??

it’s review time!

(super rambly as usual) spoilers under the cut

before i say anything, let me say, IT’S FINE, Y’ALL. as predicted. people are gonna be dramatic bc there are daryl/leah scenes, but like...we been knew? and some of them were rly important caryl-wise. (tbh, the episode was kind of boring and just a set-up for other stuff, lmfao)

okay, review:

opening credits, which i think most of us have already seen, were cute. obvi there was some weird tension with daryl that leads to the coming-to-a-head thing at the end, but their banter is still cute af

they went fishing and daryl’s reaction to carol was adorable, and there’s an important parallel later on, so bookmark this

similarly, there’s an important parallel to carol’s “the dead catch up to us eventually”/daryl’s “i ain’t gonna let it”, so bookmark that, too

dog is the instigator for the flashbacks, so if you wanna blame anyone, blame him. he races to the cabin, which for some reason daryl, who spent five years in this forest, seemed surprised to see? didn’t you literally map out that whole area, my dude? whatever

cue flashback!

i might have the scene order mixed up, but i think it starts with daryl being all sad by himself, and then dog as a puppy shows up and he’s like “!!! a dog!!!” which is v cute, and then he runs back off. we don’t meet leah yet

we see carol and daryl having a conversation while standing on opposite sides of a river for no reason except to probably symbolize distance or maybe covid, lol. the conversation basically goes:

carol: things are different

daryl: yeah

carol: how long are you gonna be out here?

daryl: -shrug emoji-

carol: i get why you’re out here, and i’d join you if things weren’t...

daryl: different

carol: yeah

daryl: yeah. anyway, it’s gonna rain, and also i’m having emotions, so ttyl

the end

at some point we see daryl sitting with an extremely unhappy face while it pours rain on him in the dark, and i want that as a reaction gif IMMEDIATELY

also the rain destroys his “where in the world is rick grimes?” map, which makes him v upset and scream-y, and we get the idea that he might be going a bit bonkers being all alone looking for a dead (or, ig, kidnapped by helicopter) man

in present day carol finds the note, and is like “oh dunk, she lived here??” so she knew about leah, and daryl’s like, “i already told you everything,” and carol’s like, “no you didn’t,” so we go back to flashbacks (but i’m still not sure what parts carol didn’t already know?? whatever, it’s not that important)

i’m just gonna hit the highlights of the flashbacks bc they were not that thrilling:

first time daryl meets leah the dog leads him to her cabin, and leah ties him to a chair and holds a gun to his head being like, “what are you doing on my land?” bc apparently you can claim whole forests during the apocalypse, and daryl says very little, and eventually she lets him go

next time dog finds daryl and he brings her back and leah is like, “the dog likes you” and they’re kinda flirty, and then daryl says very little and leaves

next time daryl is surrounded by walkers and leah shows up and helps and they hide in a tree and are awkwardly close to each other and daryl cannot handle the close physical contact so when the walkers pass he says very little except to tell her to never come back again, lmfao

the next flashback is my favorite bc daryl just fucking

goes to leah’s cabin and throws a fish at the door???

i laughed for ten years

he throws a fucking fish and then stands there for a minute like “is she gonna notice that i gave her a fish??” like, no, dumbass, you didn’t even knock, you just threw a fucking fish at her fucking door, what is wrong with you??

no wonder it’s taken him and carol so long if he thinks throwing fish at people is a smooth move. boy has NO fucking game

anyway, leah gets him back by finding him and throwing the fish at his head, being like, “wtf, don’t throw fish on my porch?” which, fair, leah

IMPORTANT CARYL PARALLEL (from here on out known as “caryllels”) #1: so earlier i mentioned the carol fish thing, and apparently the same thing happened with leah, where she speared a fish on her first try and daryl was like “tf?” v blatant “we are supposed to be thinking about carol and daryl’s relationship during this scene” sort of thing

leah’s backstory is bland. had a family, they got eaten or disappeared or something. she, her adopted son, and dog’s mom got away, but the kid was bit, and died the same day dog was born, bc ig when god closes one door, he replaces your dead son with a puppy, or however the idiom goes

ONLY PART THAT GOT ME LEGIT EMOTIONAL:

leah asked daryl who he lost, and he says, “my brother”

asklfdjaslfdjskl

god i miss rick

i hated rick for so long and now i miss him so much

but i digress

IMPORTANT CARYLLEL #2: leah and daryl have the same “the dead get you eventually”/”i ain’t gonna let it” conversation as caryl had earlier, only daryl is playing the role of carol in this scenario, so again we’re supposed to be comparing the two relationships. lemme get through the rest of the summary and then i’ll tell you my opinion on what that means

fuck what even happens next?

i have these out of order bc they were all the fucking same, but the two of them get closer, and there is the vaguest suggestion of sex ever. you literally only see daryl’s hand

then jump-cut to them sitting at the table being emo, ig bc daryl was gonna go back to look for rick for a bit, and leah is like “who do you belong with? your brother you won’t stop looking for? your family that you left? [side note: that seemed rather pointed, like, “hey hoe, you abandoned your family, that was kind of a dick move”] or me?” and he says he doesn’t know, and she’s like “yeah you do, now choose”

jump-cut to caryl scene where carol finds him at the river and says that she won’t be visiting as much, and daryl’s like “k” and they have a brief argument where daryl’s all snippy, like, “what? do you want my permission for you to move on with your life? i’m not still emo about the fact that you’re moving on with your life, and i also don’t think it’s contextually significant that every time you show up in my flashbacks you explicitly mention that you’re married and have a kid,” and carol is like, “bro, you need to Get Your Shit Together and come home”

jump-cut to daryl having what i’m assuming is an epiphany that carol/fam have all moved on while he was out being emo, and so he decides to go be with leah, except, plot twist! she’s gone. the picture of her and her son is gone, but dog is still there. daryl leaves the note, which says, “i belong with you, find me”

for those freaking out about the wording about the note, may i remind you that she specifically asked, “do you belong x, x, or with me?” so he was just answering the question

aaaaaand back to present day

carol is like, “what do you think happened to her?” and daryl is all -shrug emoji-, and then she’s like, “...do you think she might have just...you know...left?” and daryl gets rull offended, which was kind of funny

(she probably just left, bud)

carol tells daryl to stop thinking that when people leave it’s bc of him, and connie’s name gets thrown into the mix, and daryl gets a “oh here we fucking go” look on his face, and it sets him off

he said basically what we were already spoiled for. “you just want to run, you don’t know when to stop, i shouldn’t have taken you off the boat bc you still just want to run” etc

and carol looks fucking HEARTBROKEN, which hurt me, and she goes into the other room and we end the episode with daryl staring forlornly out of the window

the end

okay

so quick analysis

i think the significance of this episode is supposed to be so we have an understanding of why daryl is suddenly so !teamfamily, and !teamfuture, and how badly he wants carol to be there with him. at one point, one of them even says, “this isn’t about leah, or connie,” or anyone but the two of them. the title “find me” feels significant, bc the whole episode is daryl grappling with where he’s supposed to go, and what his purpose is, and by the end, he says to carol, “i know where i belong,” (implying, with her and the fam), pulling us full-circle. in the first flashback onward he is lost, but by the end he is found -cue amazing grace-

daryl and leah were flirty, but to me it felt very much like something that was just being used as daryl character development. we barely got anything that juicy between the two of them (except the fish throwing thing, that was amazing), and i still don’t think that it would make any sense, regardless of the showrunner, to pair daryl up with some rando after having so many other choices that people would have preferred. i don’t think we’re meant to #endgame ship it, so much as we are supposed to be like, “oh, ok, daryl learned the power of family and stability and leveled up, -you know what that is? growth gif-” as a result, i literally have no idea what leah’s role is gonna be in s11, but i don’t think it’ll be a huge plot point

so now we firmly know where daryl stands. he is all about moving forward, not looking back, and doing the best he can, and he’s frustrated bc when he took carol off the boat he wanted her to be in the same place as him so that they could grow together, but she wasn’t and isn’t there yet

so my guess is that what’s next for carol’s storyline is her reaching that same zen-level daryl’s at

once they’re both there, then they get to ride off into the sunset and make passionate love under the moon casting shadows over the vast desert wasteland

whew

anyway

tl;dr: idk, episode was fine, if not kinda boring. lots of caryllels. can i go back to writing my vietnam war au now?

the end

(stay hype, stan kang, and get daryl to call carol sweetheart 2k21),

-diz

#thank god i can move on with my life now #caryl #caryl spoilers #twd s10 spoiler #dunlap tp

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mcheang · 4 years

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When Lila is exposed, everyone gets mad at Adrien & asks why he didn’t help Marinette. Adrien replies, “Bc Mari is strong & amazing there’s nothing she can’t handle her life is perfect there’s no way she’d get akumatized, & Lila’s obviously weak and emotionally unstable, she lies all the time bc she’s unhappy with herself, she’s clearly insecure & feels she’s not good enough, so I felt sorry for her.” Basically he tells the whole class that Marinette is a super woman & Lila is a train wreck, that Marinette has everything a girl could want & all Lila has is her petty lies. Mari doesn’t know whether to be offended or honored by his putting her up on a pedestal, & Lila now wants to murder him.

Let me at him!

This is a draft because I have no idea how to end it

It was a rare collaboration of the bee and fox working together to expose Lila.

Bustier was too used to letting Chloé do her own thing and so let her interrupt her class with an impromptu PowerPoint presentation full of interviews Alya had scored.

When the video was done, ending with a recommendation that everyone apologized to Marinette, Alya asks Adrien why he didn’t expose Lila himself?

This enragés the class but Chloé isn’t happy with him either. He had let her be lied to by that harpy. What kind of friend does that?

Adrien defends himself. Apparently, to him, Lila is a rich lonely girl who wanted to impress their already impressive class. But because she had nothing impressive to brag about, her travels notwithstanding, she had to make stuff up. Who was he to expose her for being average? Not that there’s anything wrong with that. But Lila is just so sensitive that she is like akuma bait.

Lila, preciously recoiling against her seat in fear, is now glaring daggers at Adrien. Pretty boy say what?

Alya: oh, so raising our hopes and letting them fall to pieces, as well as letting Marinette’s reputation be slandered isn’t akuma worthy!

Adrien: you all have talent to get by, you would have moved on and tried again. And Marinette is our Everyday Ladybug, she can’t be akumatized.

Marinette was torn about that. While it was flattering that he thought her to be akuma immune, she wasn’t and she needs support too.

Alix: she’s human, you idiot! Not a robot, but a human girl who has feelings.

Markov: ahem!

Alix: Sorry, Markov. She is not made of stone, Agreste!

Adrien: and yet no matter how much Chloé bullies her, how many times she worries, she has never once been akumatized. She even comes out the most successful of us with her business and school reputation.

Chloé: Adrien, (wow...no Adrikins), let me put it this way. You are our Everyday sunshine child. How would you feel if everyone left you alone to deal with your father. You have no friends left and you have to deal with a lot of pressure. But everyone doesn’t care because you are the sunshine boy of Paris, and Hawkmoth has never targeted you before?

Adrien: what a horrible scenario. That will never happen.

Ivan: it might happen with your attitude.

Rose: you left Marinette alone to deal with the potential scenario. Even if she is good at resisting akumas, she would have felt lonely. You of all people should understand that!

Adrien: but you didn’t abandon her, did you? This way no one in class would be left alone. But if I had exposed Lila, then she would be friendless. I mean, sure she would eventually move to another country, but to be friendless for any period of time is just sad.

Lila: better to be friendless than to be friends with the likes of you! One word, Agreste: tact!

Nino sighs: Dude, you are so clueless.

Kim: and not a very reliable friend.

Pretty much everyone but Adrien agrees on that.

Adrien: but-!

Alya: I vote we let Adrien have a taste of his own medicine and ignore him when he is being taken advantage of. Because frankly, he still doesn’t get it!

Chloé: first hand experience would do the trick, but we are trying to avoid an akuma.

Alya: as said before, he’s akuma résistant. He’ll be fine.

Adrien: but-

Lunch bell rings and the class exits, leaving Adrien alone to go home and Ms Bustier watching the show.

Ms Bustier: you should learn from this Adrien.

Adrien: but what did I do wrong?

Don’t worry. Adrien wasn’t alone. Wayhem filled in Nino’s position. Unfortunately Wayhem’s présence also included other fans of Adrien. It was an uncomfortable time for Adrien to be treated like a celebrity rather than a friend. He felt lonely.

But once the fans got used to Adrien and found hanging out with him kind of crowded and really not worth the mileage since Adrien would only be there for a half hour at best. They moved on.

Adrien was disappointed but already knew they were fans, not friends. But when would his real friends talk to him again?

Ironically it was Gabriel who pointed out that his son was wrong for enabling a liar and putting all that pressure on Marinette. He only noticed once Nathalie reported Adrien’s declining popularity.

Adrien had an innocent mind but he hated disappointing his father and promised to do better. He apologized to his class and promised he learned his lesson to always expose lies and never to leave them to face hardships alone.

The class was doubtful he really understood the lesson but why not give him a second chance?

#miraculous ladybug fanfic #miraculous ladybug fic #ml fanfic #ml fanfiction #ml fic #miraculous ladybug fanfiction #Adrien salt #lila busted #lila is exposed #lila gets exposed #ml salt fic

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themillsdaughter · 3 years

Text

Okay, so I have thoughts on the bensler reunion and feel like if I don’t write it somewhere, it’ll just become one of those subjects one ruminates over for the rest of their lives until they become bitter and old and shake their fist in silent rage.

Twitter is filled with people who haven’t watched it yet, hence me posting about this here after years of being inactive in this fandom. if anyone’s interested, I’d love to chat about this too, but in case it isn’t clear by now, major spoilers and unhappy ranting ahead.

Alright, first off, I feel like I should put a few disclaimers from the get-go: one, i have not watched the Organized Crime episode past the letter part bc who even has the energy, two, despite everything I say here, I do genuinely love the characters, and three, I was never, ever, ever fully on board with Stabler coming back. I thought it was a stupid idea since I first found out about it.

I mean, come on. It’s literally been ten years. Ten freaking years without any contact (do not get me started on that semper fidelis thing) and NOW they wanna bring him back? Now that Olivia is settled as the captain, now that she has moved on with her life and is finally as happy as she can? Are you kidding me? And not only that, I had a feeling the show wouldn’t handle all the emotional bagage as it should. SVU is one of my favorite shows, I’ve quite literally watched it for half of my life (even before I was even fluent in English). I love this show with a ferocity I can’t quite put into words, but it has, without a shadow of a doubt, been losing it’s power for at least a couple of seasons now, if not more.

As I said, I haven’t been participating in the fandom for some years, so I can’t speak as to why it’s been going a bit downhill, though I do have a suspicion that it has something to do with the fact that it’s been going on for, hahah, literally over two decades.

But anyways, that’s beside the point. What I’m trying to say here is that I thought it was stupid to bring Elliot back. The show doesn’t need him. It might need the drama, but absolutely not him.

Either way, since what I think has no actual implication in the serious world of tv dramas, it was happening anyway and the thirteen-year-old bensler shipper in me could not help herself. I had to watch it.

I expected to be angry, I expected Olivia to go against her better judgement at least once because he asked pretty please. I expected them to share at least one kiss.

Only one of those expectations wasn't met (to my delight).

Two minutes into the episode, I was already yelling at the TV because I swore she was going to hug him when she first saw him. Thankfully, that didn’t happen, but the eye contact was already too much.

But nothing, and I mean nothing, could have prepared me for Kathy’s part in this episode. She was hurt. Someone tried to kill her. Uh-uh.

Thinking from a creative point of view, it does make sense. She’s been his wife for god knows how many years now, he’s involved with some pretty big crimes, someone wanted to kill him, she was colateral. Beautiful, classic, awesome.

What does not make sense is how the episode was set up. WHY should we feel this anguish, this great sadness over Kathy? Sure, we’ve known about her for as long as Elliot was on the show, that is, since the very beginning. But, and I’m sorry to repeat this again, IT HAS BEEN TEN YEARS. The viewers attachment to Kathy is a very very thin thread.

And yes, I do understand that the point was to focus on Elliot’s loss, on his pain, his fear of losing his wife, the mother of his children. However, that wasn’t even properly done, either. Were they in love again? He said they were happy, but how so? Where were they at in their love story? Were they a family again, were they facing problems? Were they distant, but still married? The show didn’t answer any of that, so, when she passes (which, to be honest, was predictable), that’s that. She’s dead. Elliot cries, Liv’s in shock. Okay.

Granted, it was the very first episode of his return, I cannot speak over what will be revealed in later episodes of either shows, but I personally feel that we weren’t given enough to feel. It was all based on the expectation that we would remember everything that happened and that we would still have the same attachment to everything.

And now we get to the duo of the hour: Olivia still-in-love-with-the-same-man-who-abandoned-her-a-decade-later Bensler and Elliot agressive-man-but-with-a-tinsy-bit-of-more-control Stabler.

Here I do admit that part of my frustration is my own fault. I wished, prayed, hoped and desperately wanted Liv to get angry. To give him some sort of verbal smack-down for what he did. Yes, it makes perfect sense for her to just shut it out as best she can. It’s Liv we’re talking about, so that’s very in character for her, but it still didn’t give me the satisfaction I feel we deserved to see her tell him to go to hell. (Furthermore, I think it would have been a fantastic way to showcase how much she’s grown without him. Yes, she used to be soft with him, but now she’s assertive, she wants more for herself, she knows she deserved more than what he did).

The tears, the apology, the hug in the hospital.... it was all....fine. It was fine. It was them. It just lacked something more. It lacked some sort of spark.

Don’t get me wrong, I wanted to love their reunion despite myself. I wanted to be wrong and watch a beautifully executed, messy, sweet reunion of the ship which literally made me join fandom life, learn about fanfiction and learn English. I wanted that more than anything, but I didn’t expect it.

What I expected was exactly what I got. I smelled that scene of Elliot begging her to let him in the interrogation room, giving her those Puss In Boots eyes and Olivia just folding from the minute they announced his return. And it made me angry, because the whole message they’ve been sending us through all these seasons, of Liv growing into the main character, into someone who wasn’t El’s partner anymore, into a f***ing Captain was backpaddled real quick.

And yeah, there is something to be said about the effect he will always have on her, no matter how many years. But is that really what she, as a character, deserves? Is that even healthy?

I probably have more thoughts, but this is far, far too long already.

In general, the episode was fine. It wasn’t awful. it was also not great. Do I wanna watch the rest? No. Will I? Probably.

Oh, and just before I go: WHAT THE F*** WAS UP WITH FIN???? HELPING HIM OUT??? TELLING ELLIOT UNSOLICITED INFORMATION ABOUT LIV’S LIFE??? ABOUT HER LOVE LIFE??? Yeah, sure, he was a bensler shipper, whatever, but excuse me??? You’ve actively participated in her life for twenty years and think it’s healthy to try and make her patch up with a man who just, in her own words, DISAPPEARED?

Love the dude, wanted Olivia to yell at him too.

Anyways, if anyone made it this far and feels like talking about it, I am absolutely open to that.

#bensler #svu #olivia benson #elliot stabler #rant #bensler reunion

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mistresseast · 3 years

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can you explain in more detail why you think the PT weren't good friends for akiren? i'm not asking out of hate or to start drama, i just never interpreted things that way and i'm genuinely curious. i don't think them being brainwashed by maruki makes them "bad friends", but i don't know if that's what you meant either. i'd love to read a proper explanation on this that isn't just people arguing in the notes of that post.

Hi! Yeah, I know the ~discourse~ climate is pretty touchy and not a good place to exchange ideas, so I’ll do my best to put my thoughts on this matter into words.

Settle in, bc this one is long.

I’ll start off by saying I don’t dislike the PT, nor do I think they’re bad people, and honestly I think they love Joker a lot! Ryuji calling Akira after his fake death and talking about how his ideas on what makes a hero have changed because of Akira genuinely makes me emotional, along with dozens of other scenes with the thieves! They’re good kids who could be really good friends to Akira but that’s not what’s shown in the game. I don’t think it’s controversial to say Akira’s relationships with all of his friends are transactional. That’s kind of the point, all of his confidants arise out of deals, give and take, and in the metanarrative of the game, that’s how it works. You as the player help these characters solve their problems, and through ranking their confidants up, you get access to more gameplay perks. So it’s pretty even!! But like,,Akira, the character, isn’t the player. There’s no in-story mechanic by which he can cash in friendship points for being-good-at-killing-things prizes. Yes, he uses those abilities to not die in the metaverse, but there is no literal, in-universe way to explain how hanging out with someone translates to [insert gameplay perk here]. So you have to look at what is physically happening in the story. Akira hangs out with the PT, stands there while they have drama with another irrelevant character, and then one way or another their problems get solved and they swear to be Akira’s blood brother or whatever. Akira is a crutch for these characters, and they say multiple times that they wouldn’t have been able to do what they did without him. So all of their shit gets handled and Akira gets?? Like actually gets?? What? Inquiries about his well-being? Offers to help him? Questions about his life, his interests? No,,,not really,, But he gets access to a super powerful persona!! Yay!!! Bc everyone knows he’s just a little shadow-killing machine, right? And even the relationships he does get something tangible (as in separate from the mechanics of the game) out of, like Kawakami’s, are built on the notion that if Akira stops providing for whatever reason, the relationship will end. So essentially, Akira is under the pressure of filling whatever role his friends need him in for however long at any time, and he’s been led to believe that if he stops or fails, he will stop receiving any reciprocal care and acceptance.

(And I know this is all gameplay stuff, I know it has to be like this to codify the complicated process of human relationships, I know all of that, I’m just trying to find a deeper layer bc that’s what I do.)

This whole thing comes into pretty clear focus for me during the third semester when you visit everyone in the false reality. Everyone is happy to see him, of course, but they’re clearly wrapped up in their own happiness. Which is understandable, again, I’m not saying the PT need to be attached to Akira to be good friends, but it all still feels off to me.

If they know Joker, then they’d know it’s weird that he just shows up and starts asking these pointed questions while they’re in the middle of something. All of their other interactions with him have been led by them. Yeah, Joker approaches them bc the player has decided to hang out with them, but the other character always chooses the activity and leads the discussion. Akira showing up out of nowhere and asking them to “remember” and “move on” and whatnot should be raising some major red flags. And it clearly does, since their memories do start to return, but they’re all too scared of losing their happiness that they nope out of the conversation as soon as possible, without stopping to consider why Joker might be trying to reach out to them like that. They’re his friends; they should know he wouldn’t just be trying to hurt them or make them unhappy. After all, their entire relationship with him up til that point has been exclusively about Joker trying to help them. This doesn’t make the PT bad people, running away is a totally natural reaction in that situation. They’re just kids, and their minds have been manipulated to a point, but it’s not like they don’t remember Joker or the way they’ve grown since meeting him. In fact many of them mention how much they’ve matured recently, but they never actually relate that back to Akira, despite him being the primary driving force behind most of their personal arcs, even though they definitely remember him. Translation vagueness or deliberate nod to the idea that the PT don’t actually credit Akira with all the hard work he did after their initial lip service? Hmmm. Anyway, their failure to recognize that Joker is struggling just demonstrates to me what was set up all throughout their confidant links, that their relationships are transactional and that they don’t necessarily consider Joker and his individual needs outside of what he provides for them. And when they no longer need him bc that hole has been filled, he simply doesn’t occupy the same place of importance in their lives.

Makoto’s flashback in particular stood out to me, bc it was from a moment where she was specifically talking about feeling like she finally found a place to belong with the Phantom Thieves (and by extension, with Joker), but then she desperately tries to brush it off. Obviously that sense of belonging wasn’t meaningful enough to her for her to want it back. And I’m not blaming her, of course, any teenager would choose to have their father back over being in a vigilante group lmao, I just thought it was telling that the devs decided to show us a scene that was originally meant to be heartwarming as an example of the harsh reality Makoto wants to forget. All of the flashbacks are from defining moments for the thieves, but that one specifically got me like *thinking emoji*

So his friends are hesitant, despite the fact that they must know something is wrong. It’s understandable, they all stand to lose a lot if someone messes with the status quo. I genuinely don’t think I would react any differently. But there is someone who reacts differently and against his own self-interest. It’s Goro, the one who has arguably the most to lose, who doesn’t turn away from Akira. He seeks Akira out and teams up with him to uncover what’s really going on, even though he has every reason to believe that prodding too deep will literally mean the end of his life. He forces Akira and himself to face the truth because he knows anything else would just be an insult to what they’ve suffered so far. He’s the only one who never flinches, and that, more than any of his friends’ come-to-jesusing (which Akira still has to initiate) is what Akira needs in that situation. For the first time (outside of the brief instances in the tutorial levels), we see a situation where Akira is actually the dependent one, the one who needs help, who needs support. And the only one who has ever provided that, unconditionally, without demanding anything in return, is Goro. I could go into how Goro’s confidant blows all of the others out of the water in terms of building both himself AND Akira as characters, but it’s been said already and by smarter people than me. But basically, despite competition being a core theme of their relationship, Goro is the only character who is portrayed as Akira’s equal. Their contests are all in the name of improving not just Goro, but Akira too. Goro is the only character who expresses an interest in Akira’s inner life and development, and as such he knows Akira better than anyone else. So when Maruki tries to trap them all in a gilded birdcage, Goro won’t stand for it and he knows Akira won’t stand for it either. That’s why he’s so betrayed if you choose to accept the dreamworld. You’re negating the basis of your entire relationship with him and going against your own principles. Out of every character in the game, the one who knows Akira best and refuses to abandon him even when that could mean his own death is Goro Akechi.

I want to reiterate: I do not hate or even dislike the PT!! And tbh I don’t really think they “abandoned” Akira. That post, imo, is supposed to be kind of hyperbolic. Unless it’s referring to how many of them literally sprint away when he comes to talk to them lol. I look at it more like a commentary on how thoughtlessly the PT act as soon as their wishes are granted. I know it’s set up linearly for story purposes, but isn’t it kind of sad how no one checks up on Akira in the week he’s going around talking to people? Especially after he’s been acting so comparatively weird? It’s not unusual that they might be caught up in other stuff, but while you’re going around and visiting everyone, you don’t get a single text or call from ANY of the thieves, for a whole week!! Goro even comments on it directly with his pointed little “I’m sure you’re just as close as you were before” comment. God, he’s such a bitch. Ultimately, the PT do get their acts together, and it’s partially out of the realization that Akira is struggling alone against something and needs their help, which I love and appreciate. I think they are good friends who want to support Akira, but they can’t understand him past the role they’ve placed him in, and until they do, they’ll never be able to be what he needs. Akira loves his friends and knows he can rely on them in most ways, but those relationships will always be dogged by the pervasive fear that he must constantly earn the right to have the relationship at all. What he needs MOST is someone he doesn’t have to perform for, and from what we see in the game, none of the thieves fit that bill. Except Goro.

I know this was long and rambly and probably pretty disjointed but I wanted to be as thorough as possible and all of my thoughts just sort of gushed out. Obviously ymmv about all of this depending on how you interpret the game, but this is what I arrived at thanks to my analysis so this is what I have for you! Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk

#ask tag #anon #this is not an invitation for argument or discourse #i simply wanted to provide my interpretation of things #rude and probing questions will be deleted :)

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bisluthq · 3 years

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Re: other exes getting hate. I’ve been hanging out in various fandom spaces since about 2007 and tbh there are always little pockets somewhere who dislike the current guy, but it’s never very widespread (it still isn’t; Gaylors et al kinda have a skewed perception bc so much of the Joe hate that DOES exist is in their corner of the fandom where they see it all the time, but the fandom at large is...really not all that bothered by Joe lol). Calvin got a fairly notable amount of hate even among mainstream fans, especially towards the end as that relationship just kept dragging on and on and fans could lowkey tell more and more that Taylor was unhappy, but his problematic behavior and general hateability has already been covered so like yeah the hate made sense. To a lesser extent I also remember an oddly large segment of fans meanly snarking on Joe J while they were still dating - BEFORE we found out he’d fucked up and their hateboners became justified lmao - but I think that was likely just a reflection of how divisive the Jonas Brothers were among teenage girls in general at the time (since much like Taylor herself and also like...probably all other boybands ever, a decent chunk of the target demographic was too cool and/or too Not Like Other Girls to like them and absolutely had to make sure everyone knew this at all times, even when nobody asked), bc I was pretty young then so the fan spaces I hung out in skewed young too. Maybe the snark was less in other segments of the fandom, idk.

Other than that, the ex who got the most widespread hate during the relationship itself was definitely - wait for it - Harry. Which is SUPER ironic now since Haylor somehow became extremely popular and romanticized in hindsight??? But it was NOT a fun time for the fandom for the most part because Harry’s fans acted like literal fucking demons all the time (and so did the internet at large tbh...right around Haylor was when “ugh Taylor Swift dates soooo many guys what a slut” stopped being a socially acceptable reason to hate her so everyone had to come up with various woke excuses instead, the main one being that SHE supposedly slut-shamed all the time lmao) and I think people eventually just had so much anger that it had to go somewhere and Harry became the target, and/or they just got so used to associating his face with bullies (since they all had him as their icon and such) that they just started hating him by association. A pretty sizeable chunk of the fandom was NOT fond of Harry at all for quite a while, which is so funny bc now literally everyone is obsessed with him and/or Haylor lmao. But yeah, I would say from my personal experience Calvin got the most hate from fans by far, Harry was probably in 2nd place but got a redemption arc later on, and Joe currently gets maybe about the same amount Harry did at the time when you add up both the Gaylors/Kaylors and the cupcakes who think he made Taylor abandon them or whatever.

Also I’m sorry I wrote a whole novel about this, I’m procrastinating something right now if you can’t tell lmao

This is the best explanation of it ever lmao I love fandom veterans sfm like I do want to pour one out for all y’all for keeping on as long as you have but yeah this make sense.

Haylor was fairly dislikable in the moment (like as a lowkey Tay anti and a hard 1D anti except for Zayn who I was like “yeah well I have eyeballs”) so I get people hating him/them but maaaaan that redemption arc lmao.

Joe J being hated is funnnnnnnyyyyyy to me.

Calvin just sucks lol and should be hated at every opportunity.

Also!!! Again I ADORE takes from the fandom veterans like you guys went through the wars and it shows and like I know I haven’t been “in” fandom for that long and while I do back read stuff because eh it’s fun I love it when people who were there and remember it all too well share their takes.

#nat talks swiftdom #nat talks messsy tay things

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himbo-buckley · 4 years

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what are your thoughts on what maddie says about her and buck's parents, that they were "good people, bad parents"? bc idk if it's just me but I can't get my head around that lmao, I can't understand how they can still be good people if they're bad parents, the two just can't go together for me, so another perspective would be interesting!

Hello friend 🥰

Oh, that is quite a question, isn’t it? Damn I just got out of work but you’re making me think deep thoughts here…

I think that is actually a question were we cannot find a unifying answer to - because like you said for you being a good person and a bad parent aren’t compatible, but for me they are. And I think we’d first have to define what everyone thinks constituents a good person and what constitutes bad parents!

For me a good example of that is Shannon Diaz who, in my opinion, is a good person. She means well and she tries hard but she is quite frankly an awful mother. Yes, she was put in horrible situation after horrible situation and she broke on that - which is something human and cannot be begrudged - but she left her child for several years and while she did try to reconnect and she was learning, she wouldn’t haven contacted Eddie on her own. She came back because the opportunity arose not because she tried to get back to them. (She could have become a good mother but she never got the chance.)

In the same vain I think Bobby pulled a lot of shit back in Minnesota but he still seemed to be a loving and kind father - so my question to you, friend, would be: do you consider Bobby a good person (the Bobby prior to Season 1 mostly)? Despite being the type of person who went to work drunk and / or high and by this endangering others and himself? Because I don’t think so yet the show frames him as a good person despite his downfalls (and I am not saying being an addict makes someone a bad person but I am saying knowingly endangering others does) - and if you think someone cannot be a good person but a bad parent, can someone who is a bad person also not be a good person?

See, one thing I learned working with children is that some people just aren’t made to be parents, and I am not talking about my time with child services, i am talking as a kindergarten teacher. Some people are very nice and they try hard but damn, parenting does not come natural to them and I worry how this will develop in the future. Like one of my mom’s is severely depressed and she might have Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy which doesn’t make her a bad person - but a bad parent at times.

And now, this is were I make you regret asking me specifically about this topic (or maybe not, who knows what your interests are) because I do have a bit of an expertise in what constitutes good / bad parenting and I will talk about it at random whether I am asked or not (and hopefully my language won’t fail me as most of my theoretical knowledge is in german, so please excuse any mistakes in technical terminology because I have to find the english equivalents and you know all those untranslatable german words? Yeah. Someone finally figure out how to translate the difference between Erziehung and Bildung please because both cannot be education and also it doesn’t really fit either):

So let’s get into it, shall we?

What makes good parents?

First up: parental relationship and parenting capabilities: several years ago the german department of family, seniors, women and youth (BmFSFJ) released a paper on what skills parents need to become good parents. There a four main skills (and I hope I translated everything correctly):

child-corresponding skills (ability to respond to the individual needs and features of the child, be it in terms of recognising potential or setting boundaries or sth else)

context-corresponding skills (ability to recognise developmental opportunities but also hinderances for the child and acting accordingly)

self-corresponding skills (being able to reflect their own behaviour as well as being willing to learn new things; also ability to regulate one’s emotions)

action-corresponding skills (trust in ones own ability and effectiveness; being consistent, both in their own actions as well as in response to others actions)

You might have heard of Kurt Levin or Diana Baumrind or someone else doing research into parenting styles. Generally there are four main ones, which, if we use Baumrind, differentiate on the aspects of control and demand

(here is a graph from wikipedia on this)

(I consider this fairly self explanatory but I will get into it in a bit a little more, soooo)

Now of course parenting isn’t just about the parents and what they do - children also have needs (and yes there is a lot of overlap but I am doing this right, okay?)

To quote my government again (because the paper was actually quite good, okay?) children want autonomy (a chance to do things themselves), expertise (a chance to develop their own skills) and relatedness (that one was very hard to translate but this came the closest; the idea is children strive for social connections, a sense of trust in themselves and reliability)

Also Urs Fuhrer defined 5 basic needs children have which are:

feeling of shelteredness and reliable love (I won’t explain this further except: google Harry Harlow and try not to cry like I do every time I am reminded of this monster of a man)

physical security and intactness (self explanatory, right?)

individual and developmentally suitable experiences (yes, children need to be socialised but it needs to be based on the individual child and how it learns best and all that)

boundaries and structure (CHILDREN WANT BOUNDARIES!!!! ALWAYS!!! CHILDREN WANT YOU TO TELL THEM YES OR NO, they need adults to help them navigate the world! Part of feeling secure is having someone who will tell you no and don’t do this; boundaries protect from danger, they represent support and orientation, they protect someone’s dignity (both the child’s and the parent’s), they give something to chafe against on our way to adulthood (because listen, Erikson wasn’t wrong, a lot of development happens in adversity, we find out who we are in contrast to other people)

a secure attachment (most people have heard about Bowlby and his theory of attachment, right? There are several types, though we are born with certain abilities for attachment and then learn how to attach from our parents, we model relationships on this, attachment determines our feeling of security and our thrive for exploration as children)

And I’ll leave the theoretical at this and go on to talk about the Buckley’s now, okay?

(and try to figure out if any of this has an actual point, uuups)

As for the specific situation of Mr and Mrs Buckley, let’s first see what we know of them, okay? (It’s barely anything) (half of it is assumed)

they are both alive

they are (probably) still married

they warned Maddie about Doug (meaning they somewhat cared)

they weren’t physically abusive and most likely also not emotionally

they probably live on the east coast in Pennsylvania

Buck may still be in contact with them

Maddie considers them good people but bad parents

they accepted losing contact with at least one of their children

Maddie doesn’t want them to know about Doug

That’s it!

Now, I personally think they might be very conservative, possibly unsupportive of their children. They might have had plans for their children’s life Maddie and Buck didn’t agree with, they might have been the types to not listen to their children, maybe they worked a lot. Probably fairly impatient, possibly disinterested in their children. Not good at the parenting capabilities.

Based on their children’s issues I’d say authoritarian or neglectful parenting style (though not abusive because it would be a redcon of Maddie’s background), meaning most definitely unresponsive though I cannot make up my mind whether they were demanding or undemanding, as both these styles - even when not so bad they are abusive and / or endangering to the child - make insecure, dependent and unhappy adults (like the children turn into those once they grow up), which does kinda fit with Buck specifically, right?

Though tbh I don’t think the Buckley parents were that horrible. I know fandom has taken the idea and run with it, mainly because after three seasons we know virtually nothing about them aside from some throwaway lines and all the issues we see in their children.

Now, why do I say this?

One, Maddie is a fairly capable adult despite everything that happened to her and even being as resilient as she is, she still has too few issues for how horrible fandom thinks the Buckley parents are

Two, while Buck has a lot of issues, being cocky and having problems with intimacy and being a bit directionless and still needing a parental figure in your mid-20s doesn’t seem that uncommon to me? Like the only really deep issue I’d say he has (that have to be caused by something deeper) are his abandonment issues (and connected to that intimacy). And it’s been implied they are caused by Maddie leaving to go to College which does paint the picture that he doesn’t have a good relationship with his parents but honestly, that sometimes happens, right?

(Also, and this is where my professional background comes in, I don’t like how everyone jumps to the worst possible conclusions about them, simply because I feel it sends the idea that only if the worst things happened to you, you have certain issues which is wrong. Sometimes small things will trigger something way larger in us and that should not be invalidated.)

And okay, I am getting off topic again (but again, my profession lies here) but what I am trying to say is this:

I do think Mr and Mrs Buckley were bad at parenting because they demanded too much but gave too little (emotionally) and I don’t think Buck is really in contact with them but I also don’t think that makes them necessarily bad people. (just bad parents)

I think Maddie and Buck weren’t as close back when they were children as they are now (at least not after Maddie moved to College) because the Buck we know would not accept a sister he is very close to simply no longer having contact with him for three years without trying to figure out why.

I do think they can’t have been that bad mainly because of how good Maddie and Buck are. Listen, I believe in resilience and already being born with a certain personality and traits which shapes how our environment reacts to us, but which is also influenced and changed by our environment ! (Nature vs. nurture, ya’ll) Now I know I said we find and develop ourselves in adversity but not just. We also need someone to foster and support and reward certain traits or we lose them and this is especially true for being kind and heroic!

Buck especially has shown way to little anger or capability for violence for how the fandom likes to write his parents, which considering his general character and also the way he looks - just doesn’t work! (Because generally especially boys raised in abusive families emulate this behaviour and Buck just - doesn’t! Which considering how “fuck toxic masculinity” Buck is most of the time doesn’t make sense because being tall and buff would make the opposite easier for him and would make it the better strategy for survival, so this would be the behaviour he would have learned)

(unless our writers say fuck being realistic and fuck psychology)

His parents had to have done something right, because Maddie will have left for College by the time he was 12 / 13 probably and we know they consider this her abandoning him meaning they probably weren’t really in contact then and while the first years of your life ARE VERY important for who you become later (urgh, yes, I’ll admit it, Sigmund Freud, the most overrated theorist did get SOME things right) they aren’t everything and you develop for longer and also a young girl like Maddie would have been would have not been self-reliant and stable enough to raise her literal baby brother in a way that made him resilient enough to become the person Buck has become despite her leaving him twice

Not to mention: considering the person we know Maddie is - if their parents really were that horrible she wouldn’t have left Buck with them, she would have taken him with her!

ANYWAYS!

Okay, tbh, I have no idea if any of that answered your question, but I did spend nearly two hours on it so enjoy?

I really don’t have a good answer to your question because we really don’t know enough and what we know doesn’t fully gel with each other and urgh, I don’t know friend despite this being the one thing I actually have some knowledge on!

I’m not even sure any of this makes sense and I am so sorry about that! I was trying, friend, but sadly an answer eludes me

Guess I should have just ended after saying: we cannot find a unifying answer to this because we each have individual definitions of good and bad in regards to people?

(Now, for everyone who read all of this? I love you and thank you and sorry! Please have a great day while I go cry in the shower now because I this ask drained me and also Harry Harlow)

EDIT: I wrote attachment issues when I wanted to say abandonment issues, shit!

#omg someone messaged me am I cool yet #buck meta #maddie meta #buckley meta #911 meta #meta #I honestly think there is a bit more evidence in canon to support Eddie having abusive parents than Buck #911 #911 fox #evan buckley #maddie kendall #the buckley siblings #this ask messed me up a bit because I feel like I should know these answers but I don't #this is what I am supposed to be good at why do I not know this?#textpost #I am so sorry Anon I really tried #my meta

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suncatchr · 3 years

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Heyo if u wanna talk abt ur ocs can u tell me abt the newest ones (or at least the ones that r new to me which is all of them on the last pic of ur oc post I think?) :3

omggg thank you for asking :3 this is long sorry i haven’t organised my thoughts about them yet ahjfklsa but here we go

before i can talk abt rain n evie i have to explain the universe with kes, amaya, and rio. im sure you remember them :3 but umm you said they were based on pacific rim and i don’t know anything abt pacific rim fhjlafnj sooo i made a bunch of stuff up. soooo there’s a parallel universe/alternate dimension full of people and like, monsters. the alt. universe people r testing ways to break into our dimension and open the door permanently so that both dimensions are their domain. the... city...? that the story is set in is like a capitalists’s dream, split harshly between rich and poor with no middle class. the poor faction of the city that will be named soon is the one responsible for keeping the other-dimension-ers out of our dimension, most if not all of them are responsible in some way for keeping their area safe from those tears in the ozone layer. they in return are given technology, money, and supplies from the rich faction. those guys do next to nothing, they operate like any other city where everyone has jobs and pays their dues to the government. they are very strict about who they let into the city; they don’t want outsiders to know about their dimension problem lest they stop the warriors from doing their jobs or do something to make the tear bigger etc etc. they also don’t want poor people in the city, even if they’re responsible for everyone’s safety. I’m thinking of making the story a really obvious allegory similar to older-fashioned dystopian novels like animal farm and brave new world because i’m obsessed with those in concept. so i think supporting characters will be one-dimensional caricatures of types of people in society, and only the MCs will have nuance. this also makes it easier for me to write side characters ;3

so kestrel and amaya are siblings mostly born and raised into monster-fighting. you know when there’s a factory or whatever in town that most people in that city work at? there’s one of those but it’s like... a firehouse for monster fighting. they mostly live and sleep there, they’re fed and clothed here for free so long as they fight and they’re both content with that. I’m not sure what happened to their parents yet but they’re probably dead. not everyone’s parents are dead, some people have families that they live with at the... compound, these two are just tragic and whatnot. families are encouraged to fight together in duos or trios so that loyalty makes them fight smarter and harder to protect each other. when they’re not at the compound, like if they have shifts off or whatever, they live in an abandoned subway station and steal power from the government who’s unaware that that track is unused 😌

so as far as them as individuals, i kept the planets that u based them off of :3 kestrel is based off mars and mars is the planet of action, energy, motivation, temper. kestrel is moody and temperamental, but their choices are never made without careful consideration. they’re a quick thinker and that makes them confident, so they never back down from a challenge. they have a hard time masking their emotions and it’s easy to see what’s going on in their head. they’re hard to embarrass, though, and they’re very confident in most of their assertions. they’re impatient and crabby, but they aren’t at all shy.

amaya is based off venus, so she’s more emotionally rounded than her sibling and more interested in the poetry of life. she’s very expressive and polite, and she has a thing abt maintaining her image. she’s a bit materialistic and self-centred, focused on her looks and her space, but she’s realistic in her material n sensual desires because al things considered she lives in a subway station. she knows what to expect from life, or at least she thinks she does, and is just as confident in her own assertions as kestrel. she’s stubborn and argumentative for that reason, but her confidence makes her a natural leader and people flock to her for advice and assistance. she loves this.

and adrion, based off earth, comes into their lives later. rio used to live on the rich side of town until a second dimension creature escapes the notice of the warriors (i swear they won’t actually be called “warriors” forever 😭) and destroys his part of the city. his family is alright, but the destruction makes him feel like he could do a better job than whoever’s currently there. he leaves his family to join up with the. the compound, and when asked to find a partner to fight with, chooses amaya and kestrel because they’re a top-of-their-class team who are always talking about how things could be better. at first, they don’t want him bc they’re lone wolves and they do not like to be told what to do. but he’s a tough fighter and he’s got the motivation to be good, so they let him stay on the team. as far as personality, rio is really chill and understanding, often willing to let other people’s faults slide. as long as he’s allowed to do what he wants to do, other people can have their way. he’s cheerier than the other two but he’s quieter and more in-the-background. his strong will makes him sensitive and he refuses to change his mind often because he’s quite naive and gullible, making him easy to trick and take advantage of which makes him insecure. this makes him prone to snapping when people put pressure on him.

now for rain and evie. i originally created them as prototypes for their own narrative but the story seemed really similar to my other stuff so i scrapped it BUT i thought the characters themselves worked in this story instead so i kept them :3. rain and evie are brothers who were initially raised in a fighting ring. they live on the poor side of town but they never worked for the compound. they make a living by gladiator fighting, people pay to come in and bet on them and obviously they’re paid for winning fights. rain is an extremely adept fighter and usually manages to beat opponents with brute strength. evie is smaller and less physical and usually fights by using the opponent’s strength against them. they’re simultaneously popular and unpopular in their neighbourhood as they’re like. cool for being good in the ring but they’re really weird otherwise. they’re aggressive, angry and irrational, they act like they’re always in the ring. rain is more sociable and capable than evie, who tends to be reactive and angry. he doesn’t want to be here, but rain is more content in his abilities, so he handles mostly everything so that evie doesn’t have to be responsible for anything. they end up moving on from the ring after evie takes on an opponent that rain tried to tell everyone that he could never beat. evie takes a violent blow to the head that leaves him comatose, and rain spends a huge chunk of money for a piece of technology that replaces the damaged areas of evie’s head and functions in its place. no one tells rain, though, that the thing he put in evie’s head is technology from the other dimension. after the two leave the ring, they decide to make themselves useful and fight the monsters that forced them into this life in the first place.

personality-wise, rain is a laid-back, go-with-the-flow kind of guy. he likes to let things take their course and he isn’t much concerned with proceedings outside of himself and evie. he purposefully denies himself negative emotion and usually tries to fake that everything is good all the time. despite this, he’s emotional and reactive and extremely defensive. he doesn’t like to be challenged or made unhappy and in his dream world he and evie are always just hanging out doing what they want and not having to answer to anyone. people often find him charming bc he’s able to finagle most situations into him getting his way, he’s exceptional with people but he doesn’t like them.

evie is more sullen and droopy. he almost always lets rain do all the talking and he usually appears unconcerned with most goings-on because he’s letting rain evaluate the situation. he’s usually inside his own head, daydreaming or fussing. most of his interactions with others are verbal or physical fights bc he’s unsure how to manage himself without rain around and is often willing to fight for whatever he thinks rain would want. he’s independent outside of that, doesn’t like to be told what to do or how to act. not even rain can calm him down when he’s on his soapbox because he truly believes that if he had to grow up a fighting dog he should be allowed to do whatever the fuck he wants. in downtime he’s usually a little bit more uppity than rain but still similarly laid-back and willing to act like things are okay.

the five of these characters r in the same universe and they go on missions together often, though kes and amaya don’t really get along with rain and evie because they’re all so stubborn.

next are niko and andre, who i got from sammy! we got urban fantasy going on here, and i’m thinking of setting it in like. the mid 1800-s. i’m feeling spicy. umm so i think the key thing about this universe is that “hunters” are a species of humanoid monster. this world is spinning with vampires, werewolves, faeries, demons, etc. pretending to be human in order to survive, and hunters are a mimic species that look human but just... aren’t. they have an insatiable desire to hunt and kill (used to be for food but humans make food more easily accessible), but killing humans makes them vulnerable to being found out. killing other monsters is the perfect substitute, plus humans praise them for it. they’re onto each other but they can’t make scenes in human society so they have to dance around each other to do all of their killing in secret.

andre is a hunter living in the shadow of his older sister, angel. she’s a better, more ruthless hunter than he is, with stronger instincts and a greater prey drive. she’s popular with people in town and generally just more charismatic. he really wants to be like her, but he’s klutzy and insecure and his instincts are poor cuz he overthinks them. one day he comes across niko in a bar and, perceiving him to be human bc he has 0 instincts, they get their flirt on. until niko says something that makes andre realise he’s a vampire. embarrassed and ashamed of his attraction, andre tries to turn his feeling of betrayal into murderous instinct, and he can turn that anger into his first solo kill. niko keeps chasing after andre trying to catch his non-murderous attention because he actually really likes him and doesn’t want to let what they are get in their way.

personality wise, niko is a noisy little wisecracker who likes to be popular. he’s a genuinely nice guy and is famous wherever he goes for being wise and helpful. he’s usually pretty optimistic and very charming, especially in bigger crowds where he can fit in. he can be purposefully oblivious and is very good at disguising his feelings and intentions. he’s witty and sarcastic, often masking negativity for the sake of keeping it light.

andre is a straightforward intellectual type who likes to work and create and achieve. he’s intelligent and steadfast and always strives to do his best (which is why being terrible at hunting is upsetting for him). making achievements kind of replaces his understanding of himself, and not being good at things really digs at his self-worth. he’s not much of a people person but he’s not really shy, either. he’s polite and good-natured, though his feelings are quite fragile.

next generation, same universe, next is honour (whose name HAS to be spelled with the u), journey, and solace. resident throuple. honour and solace are hunters, and journey is human. honour was raised in a big home with lots of hunters under the iron fist of like, the mean nursemaid from annie. they hunt monsters as an organised group, but its a violent institution that doesn’t believe in autonomy nor the worth of human lives. humans exist as something to blend into while they exterminate all other monsters. honour stops believing this when she gets older, mostly due to meeting journey. she assumes journey is just going to be vapid and goofy bc he’s a human, but he ends up being a really cool dude who’s just as in-depth as her and she begins to realise how terrible the lessons she was raised on are.

journey’s family were aware that they were often surrounded by monsters and as such were very protective of him and his siblings. journey never gets to go out and do things, and being stuck in the stuffy comfort of his home is not what he wants to do with his life when he knows there are monsters out there. when he and honour hit it off, they decide to run away together, deciding to shed their upbringings entirely by changing their names to the things they want most.

i set this in the 1800s JUST so that i could have honour and journey use the train to run away. not nice public transit trains, i mean they are riding the dirty rusty rails to seek a better life. they intend to ride a long time to make sure that they’re never recognised. on one of the trains they catch to head north, they come across solace, helping him onto the train as he got there a split second too late to catch it. despite his initial gratitude, solace is unpleasant to ride with. turns out he’s been on the run for most of his life and is just trying to find a place to stay where no one will care that he’s a hunter. in human-only societies hunters are known as mimics and are heavily discriminated against if you’re suspected of being one and straight up killed if you are. after living an uncomfortable life and seeing his father killed, solace decides to go from town to town until he finds a place that’s mostly hunters. when honour reveals they’re looking for the same thing, solace decides to go with them. he’s hesitant to give up his name because it was given to him by his parents, but ultimately he wants to leave that life behind and embody comfort and. yk. solace.

haven’t quite figured these three out personality-wise bc i only finished their designs and names in time for posting the art, rip

and lastly my warriors ocs! I decided to make regular fanclans as opposed to using my existing ocs in an au mostly because i didn’t wanna add in random npcs (as it were) to fill the nursery and elder’s den even tho those r important to clan life. so, i made separate ocs, they live in the arctic! summitclan in the mountains, tundraclan in the plains, and glacierclan by the. glacier. the story so far is a murder mystery, cats of all clans are being killed and going missing and no one knows why. while most warriors assume there’s a bear or fox hanging around the territories, the apprentices saw something while they were hanging out that made them decide to investigate deeper...

our mc is snowpaw, a repurposed rp oc fjdkfjld;af. he’s a summitclan cat and he’s known to be strange and standoffish. he seems cold and apathetic about almost everything and it’s hard to see what he enjoys and dislikes. his secretiveness makes it easy for him to investigate the murders, no one ever questions where snowpaw is going or what he’s doing. with his friends and family snowpaw is a little more jovial, he has very dry humour and is also always trying to help

crowpaw is a tundraclan cat. he’s stuck up and big-mouthed, very arrogant little know it all. don’t ever tell him that, though, bc he’s very sensitive and he will cry. he likes to be seen as the best at everything so he dedicates excess time to learning and is actually a very curious and adventurous cat underneath.

swiftpaw is a glacierclan cat. he’s very mature and is often rumoured to be a great deputy choice when he’s old enough. he’s calm and level-headed, a quick-thinking problem solver with a bit of a superiority complex but not one that anyone in his life would be aware of bc he’s so darn polite. the warrior code is important to him and so are rules of daily clan life that reduce conflict in any way.

teapaw is also a glacierclan cat. she, like snowpaw, is a little bit quiet and secretive, the kind of person (..?) that kinda lurks in the back of important things going on rather than offering her voice. she’s a healer’s apprentice and takes a lot of pride in being effective and efficient with all her duties. she’s curious and observant, and shes good friends with her clan’s seer, deadhawk (i split the medicine cat position into two for these clans, healers do doctor stuff, seers talk to starclan), so she tends to be up to date w what starclan says, which helps her and her friends w their mystery.

and finally, breezepaw! he’s a summitclan cat and snowpaw’s bff. he’s kinda clueless and distractable, very much a follower personality as he likes others to decide what’s important for him to do. he’s a quiet cat, but he’s not afraid to speak his mind when the time comes. kinda a goofy jokester dude, but he knows how to read a room and keep quiet when he doesn’t know what to contribute and jokes won’t help. he likes snowpaw because snowpaw’s always confident in what he’s doing and never clowns on breezepaw for not knowing wtf is going on

#this took me so long to type out all the way jfdkslfjd sorry abt that #maybe its been a week and a half who are you to judge #anyway thankie again for asking it was great to tupe out stuff abt them for the first time :D #type* -_-#oc ask #edit: ive just decided that hunters feed off life energy but only as it escapes #that's what drives their desire to kill

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prudnces · 4 years

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( 𝚟𝚒𝚌𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚊 𝚙𝚎𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚒 & 𝚌𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚎𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚎 ) + you know 𝘗𝘙𝘜𝘋𝘌𝘕𝘊𝘌 𝘝𝘈𝘕 𝘏𝘖𝘓𝘛, the 25 year-old 𝘗𝘙𝘐𝘝𝘈𝘛𝘌 𝘐𝘕𝘝𝘌𝘚𝘛𝘐𝘎𝘈𝘛𝘖𝘙 that has lived in eldstead 𝘚𝘌𝘝𝘌𝘕 𝘠𝘌𝘈𝘙𝘚? i heard she has a tendency to be 𝘙𝘌𝘚𝘖𝘜𝘙𝘊𝘌𝘍𝘜𝘓, 𝘐𝘕𝘛𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘐𝘖𝘕𝘈𝘓, 𝘋𝘐𝘚𝘖𝘉𝘌𝘋𝘐𝘌𝘕𝘛 & 𝘚𝘜𝘙𝘓𝘠. the 𝘛𝘈𝘜𝘙𝘜𝘚 has equipped 𝘒𝘌𝘠 in time for the full moon.

HI i’m hero, 22, i lov horror movies and no longer have a shudder subscription :pensive: normally i do these on google docs but i’m lazy and prue is Incredibly New so i’m still trying to get the hang of things

name: prudence van holt nicknames: prue, p age: 25 gender: cis woman pronouns: she/her d.o.b.: april 23, 1995 zodiac: taurus sexual orientation: homosexual homoromantic mbti: isfj - the protector character inspo: wynonna earp, veronica mars, prudence halliwell (mayb i took the name don’t look @ me) aesthetics: a steaming mug of black coffee, deep green woollen sweaters, golden rings and necklaces adorning her, a camera hanging around her neck, the mist of the morning, a deer grazing in the forest, the heavy thud of boots against old hardwood, a grandfather clock striking the witching hour

HISTORY

triggers: child abandonment, car accident (drunk driving), death

prudence van holt’s birth is a mystery-- all she knows is she was dropped off at the fire station in a town outside of seattle, the only identification a baby blanket with her name on it.

she ends up being adopted by a couple, the van holts, who always wanted multiple kids but could not after their first, a boy.

growing up, she’s always been a little shit. she doesn’t mean to be. she just has an insatiable curiosity, sticking her nose in other’s businesses, finding lost things, she had a strange knack for it. it got her into a lot of trouble, children had no business sticking their nose into adults’ things.

her brother never really liked her-- he always resented the fact their parents brought her home, took her in, when they already had a perfectly fine child needing attention. petty things, except it’s sparked a life long sibling rivalry that runs deep.

it’s a pretty uneventful childhood, her parents are good people, they provide for her, and support her, despite her troublesome antics.

she’s always been a lonely child, she’s never had the easiest time making friends, so she’s spent a lot of her time exploring the woods near her home.

she’s thirteen when she discovers her mother, whom she always has written off as simply eccentric, is more than that-- she’s a witch. and a good one, too. her book club meetings she’s often privvy to walking through is more than that, it’s her coven.

so of course, prue wants in-- how can she not? it’s a whole new world, working under her mother’s wing, driving a wedge further between herself and her brother. she tells her to be careful, to watch her back, that there’s bad people who want to do bad things with the power they wield. it instills a deeper ideal of trust no one in prudence-- one that sticks with her to this day.

and she’s dedicated to the craft! she takes time to learn the different meanings and uses of herbs, flowers, etc., makes potions, cast spells-- perhaps sometimes for personal gain, but she’s dedicated herself to using them to help others.

she sort of becomes a private investigator in high school, not on purpose, but a friend tasks her to find out if her boyfriend is cheating on her, so tails him, catches him in the act-- gives him a little hex for good measure.

it becomes a thing, people need something found? they go to her. think their partner is fooling around? they go to her. and she delivers, all with a little touch of magic. eventually, she wants to go deeper, take on more serious cases, but alas she’s only a teenager.

sike! that doesn’t stop her. and as much as she hates cops, she has an in at the department through her father, so soon she’s not so legally trying to solve murders.

and that’s all fine and dandy, until just a month shy of her eighteenth birthday, and two months before she graduates from high school, her parents get into a car accident coming home from a meeting one night. a drunk driver swerves into their side of the road, hitting them head on. neither survive.

it’s that that has her change her mind about college, why go to college when she already knows what she wants to do? life is fleeting, and she’s hurting, so she graduates, and moves to eldstead, a town an hour and half away from her own home. it’s not a big change, but enough for her to have a fresh start.

she knows something is different about the storm when it hits, that it brought about something... destructive. and she’s inclined to get to the bottom of all of it. it’s in her nature-- she has to snoop.

she runs her own private investigation that used to serve eldstead and the surrounding area, but now it’s simply eldstead. she makes her own hours, and works alone, because she prefers it that way.

PERSONALITY

she’s really closed off-- she prefers to be alone, because of the shit she’s seen, and the people in her life, she just expects to be let down.

when you first meet her, there’s a chance she’s just going to brush you off. she’s not exactly the friendliest person out there?

will she be an asshole for the sake of being an asshole? no. absolutely not. but she is unflinchingly honest about her observations, and that doesn’t always go over well.

very much a ‘do the thing first, ask for forgiveness later type of person’-- doesn’t have a lot of regard for rules that aren’t her own. (*dw voice* that sign can’t stop me bc i can’t read!)

if u do manage to be friends with her, she’s got ur mf back she’s unflinchingly loyal and if you break her trust, you’re pretty much dead to her lol

TIDBITS

she has a black cat (wow a witch with a black cat...... groundbreaking) named inkblot (creative, rly), nicknamed inky like the pacman ghost

surprisingly high alcohol tolerance, loves 2 go for a beer or a whiskey at the end of a long day

lives in cableknit sweaters-- this is the pnw i mean a bitch be cold

doesn’t really date? she came out when she was 16, and there’s been a couple relationships, but they never really pan out-- it’s always because of her. she doesn’t know how to open up

swears a lot

has a pretty good understanding of basic hand to hand combat just in case perps get a little rowdy, took boxing classes for abt 4 years?

probably an elderly person when it comes to social media, kinda likes to keep a low profile but she also posts a shit ton of pictures of her cat

INCREDIBLY good at finding lost things-- keys, phones, dogs, u name it she just knows-- and she doesnt know if its the intuition that comes from being a witch or just herself

prob should join a coven, but shes a lone wolf awoo

prob barks at men idk

lives off of black coffee, doesn’t rly sleep

has multiple ear piercings and a couple tattoos but she usually keeps them hidden

WANTED CONNECTIONS

informant - she gets information from them for her cases, they got a p good grasp

someone she’s solved a case for - p self explanatory, now they’re friendly enough, or perhaps she couldn’t stand them and did it for the money

someone who wants to be her friend but she’s weary - tbh shes weary of everybody

coven adjacent - another witch, maybe theyre trying to get her to band together with them

drinking buddy - they meet at the bar and shoot the shit

opposites attract - friend who is nothing like them! but still hangs around!

someone she feels like she has 2 protect - for whatever reason, even tho they can prob take care of themselves, prue is super fkn protective of them

a genuine friend - yeah she just needs one idk she’s doing her best

ex (f/nb) - someone she dated for a little bit but they broke up because of prue’s inability to open tf up

fwb (f/nb) - ? maybe we all got needs, and she’s not looking for a relationship

attraction (f/nb) - there’s tension and neither know why!

rival - to paraphrase a tumblr post what is a rival if not a crush you’re unhappy abt

pure of heart, dumb of ass and lesbian - i just love this trope

sibling like - someone who she genuinely sees as a younger/older sibling... goes to them for shit... protects them

frenemies - theyre not rly friends but they dont entirely hate each other either?

tbh anything

#this got long! and for what!#intro.#eldintro #abandonment tw #car accident tw #drunk driving tw #death tw

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riviae · 5 years

Note

Angouleme? For the ask meme? Oh, also: you looked real cute in those selfies ^^

character meme (accepting!):

Angouleme:

favorite thing about them:

her goofy/upbeat personality! she’s got so much chaotic energy (she’s the definition of a goblin tbh) & just having her in a little bit of ‘tower of swallows’ & ‘lady of the lake’ made the books such a joy to read. from calling milva and regis auntie & uncle, to her loyalty to the hansa (she was the youngest of the hansa but still chose to go to castle stygga despite the risks), to her more complex side involving her issues w/ abandonment, she’s just a very interesting character & i thank sapkowski for making her so realistic. characters that are playful/funny/comedic relief with a dark or unhappy past are usually my faves & angouleme is no exception.

the fact that her life up until the hansa had been so shitty & awful, but she still chose to be funny & teasing & so full of life... like sure, i’m sure some of it was fake or an ingrained defense mechanism (bc if ur the ‘funny’ one then no one will think of u as a threat, rt? meaning u can be at an advantage if u decide to attack or, simply, it allows u to not be targeted by violence in general), but i also think she enjoyed her time w/ the hansa--that it was probably the most fun she had ever had w/ a group of ppl. & also the first time she really felt like she had found a family, a place in the shape of people that she could call a home... & mean it with all her heart.

tbh her & regis are my faves out of the hansa & it’s a shame she isn’t featured in any of the games or at least mentioned bc i know that she’d be a v popular character if she had been.

least favorite thing about them:

i’ll be honest…….. nothing. angouleme is my daughter & i love her. but if i had to say something…. i guess my least favorite thing abt her is that she’s dead ;v; & that we never get to see her even mentioned in the games.

favorite line:

“Lookie what the cat dragged in.” | i don’t remember if this is word-for-word what she said in the books, but this is a gwent card line & it sounds abt right! it was also a line that i remember regis repeating in the books & i /love/ that he picked up some of her slang :’)

brOTP:

angouleme/milva!! their dynamic is /so/ good. i live for found family tropes & milva acting as an older sister to angouleme is just everything 2 me. i like to think that milva taught angouleme how to use a bow & hunt & kept an eye on her in the midst of battle bc angouleme is so /young/ & up until the hansa, she’s been on her own. milva probably saw a lot of angouleme in her headstrong younger self & wanted to be the adult/friend/family member that she needed when she was angouleme’s age ;v;

i wish angouleme & ciri had been able to get to know each other.... they’re both spunky kids around the same age who look alike. like can u /imagine/ the shenanigans they’d have gotten into? i could see them getting along immediately (& teaming up on teasing geralt lol) & pulling lil harmless pranks on the hansa. 10/10 good dynamic

i also like angouleme/regis bc regis is someone who i think would understand where angouleme is coming from the most tbh. they both had less than stellar ‘rebellious’ phases. angouleme, after escaping from the abusive orphanage w/ some of the other kids before ultimately joining an even worse thieves’ guild vs. regis who basically lead his own plasma gang after developing an addiction to blood & promptly got his ass handed to him by some rando villagers w/ pitchforks. anyway, that aside, regis is all for redemption arcs & after really getting to know angouleme, he becomes enamored w/ the idea of passing down whatever ‘wisdom’ he can abt addiction (esp since it’s implied that she might be addicted or at least dependent on fisstech to some degree), fighting, making alcohol, vampires, etc., so that she’s prepared for /anything/. tldr; angouleme as a protege to regis? good stuff rt there

OTP:

angouleme/happiness aka angouleme/getting the appreciation she deserves!!!!! she doesn’t deserve all this tragedy ;v;

nOTP:

anyone shipping angouleme w/ anyone in the hansa!! like p lease... angouleme is babey (16-17 yrs old) & everyone else is much older than her & has a more platonic/familial/non-romantic bond w/ her.

random headcanon:

when playing cards, she’s an absolute /menace/. if she’s playing against someone other than regis or geralt, she’s able to fairly easily swindle her opponent of their coin.... thru somewhat underhanded means (i.e., she cheats & cheats very well). she’s also really good at keeping up a poker face, distracting the other player w/ her weird slang & animated personality. after traveling w/ the hansa she only cheats against ppl who obviously have money/won’t miss a few crowns.

unpopular opinion:

i guess that i really like her??? idk, i never see content of her & it makes me sad ;3; one day i’ll write an angouleme-centric oneshot & it’ll be sweet & everything she deserves!!!

song i associate with them:

Giants by Silverberg ft. Ruelle is such an angouleme song like i immediately thought of her the first time i heard it!!!

They may say, "You're too smallYou're too young to do it all"But you're a giant on the insideThey may say, "It's not enoughLeave your dreams collecting dust"But there's a fire that you can't hide.

favorite picture of them:

her gwent card!!!! it’s pretty much exactly as i imagined her, clothing & all :D cdpr did a great job w/ it tbh

#Anonymous #hannah rambles into the void #angouleme #angoulême #(also thank u so much anon!!! ur so sweet & i appreciate u!! <3333)#(apologies for how long this took.... i just have a lot to say about angouleme bc i adore her~)

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qqueenofhades · 6 years

Note

I was (?) a Lyatt shipper who loved Flynn since S1 bc I love a good bad boy. I've been sympathetic to him since the 70s (ha!) when we found out about his wife and kid being murdered. So I found your blog and was loving all the Flynn stuff but I wasn't into Garcy. Thought "ew"--isn't he more like cool young uncle material for her? Fast forward to today and I have read every Garcy ff you have written and have fallen completely into the trash can. I know you prob hear this a lot lately...(1)

(2) but I wanted to thank you so much for writing The Tangled Web of Fate. What a masterpiece! You make the storyline in the same tone as canon somehow. You really have Flynn’s emotions and voice down pat. So good. Makes me believe in Garcy. In fact, makes me want Jessica and Logan to figure out their crap and that way everyone can be happy bc at this point I don’t want Jessica to be unhappy or go away either. Anyway, I went from Garcy sounds gross to GIVE ME MORE. So thanks?

(3) sorry. I feel panicked that we are running out of time (unoriginal pun) and might only get 5 more episodes and Flynn won’t get the full character development and happy ending he deserves. If it were up to you, would you give him a redemption arc and a happy ending or would you keep him as garbage boss? Also, dude is a full head taller than the industrial fridge in the bunker and they need to find a couch he can be comfy in. He looks like a giant living in a tiny house. My poor baby.

Ahaha. This delights me to no end, ngl. My powers are groooowing. And you have given me a lot to talk about here, so thanks. :)

Honestly, the people insisting on reading Garcy as familial/platonic/theorizing that Flynn is somehow Lucy’s son/they’re otherwise related are… very confusing to me? To say the least. Though to be totally frank, it’s often clearly by people who have an agenda in discrediting Garcy as a viable alternative to Lyatt (which they… probably don’t need to do, I mean for better or worse, the writers have made their preference/narrative direction clear. Alas). I obviously have no problem with people shipping whatever they want in whatever way they do, but… yeah, Garcy’s vibe ain’t platonic or familial (and if for some wild reason they DID end up Magically Related, like Flynn was somehow Lucy’s long-lost brother from an alternate universe or whatever, I wouldn’t stop shipping it, or even writing smut for it. I’d be like, “well writers, you got yourself into this with this far-fetched and illogical forced plot twist that does not fit with anything that has been written or acted beforehand, so I’m going to just go for Time Traveling Flowers in the Attic. Ooops?”) I’ve had plenty of posts with the way Flynn looks at/acts around Lucy (just saying, if my uncle looked at me like that, I would make sure never to be alone with him at family events) and the way she’s started to look back at him. And Goran Visnjic has straight up said that Flynn is “infatuated” with Lucy and we’ve had a lot of teasing about “does Flynn have a thing for Lucy” re: 2x06 that makes me wonder if we’re going to get some kind of more explicit confirmation of the way he feels about her. Goran has also encouraged us to read between the lines, so people can want it to be just a friendship (because they prefer another romantic partner for Lucy, and again, that’s fine, whatever) but he’s consciously acting it as a pretty romantic fascination. So yes. We aren’t just making that up.

Also, just saying, we KNOW who Flynn’s mom is, she’s a named and identified character, she appeared in an episode, Rittenhouse was originally sending Rufus, Lucy, and Assassin Goon to kill her in 1x15 with the aim of erasing Flynn from history. So “Flynn is Lucy’s son” is just… did you guys not notice Maria Thompkins? Who was awesome and I love her? Besides, if Flynn was Lucy’s son, she wouldn’t NEED time travel to meet him, and we know the journal is connected to new time tech (traveling on your own timeline). He couldn’t be anything less than her grandson and that would still be ludicrously complicated, as it would require Lucy to have Maria at some point while traveling in the past, then… straight up abandon her, then go back to her own timeline, then wait for Flynn to grow up, then travel back to meet him…. etc. It’s a mess. We know Flynn’s parents’ names (Asher Flynn and Maria Thompkins); hell, we know more about his family than we do about Wyatt’s. Why is no one theorizing that Wyatt is secretly Flynn and Lucy’s son? (I kid, I kid. But still. It makes about as much sense, if not more, which is to say it doesn’t.)

Anyway yes, I always felt like that was a pretty transparent attempt to make Garcy a non-romantic option in order to remove it as a shipper threat, but that doesn’t mean people can’t ship it as a friendship/brotp. I’m just saying, however, that it has been (at least certainly on Flynn/Goran’s end) played as a romantic thing, even if latent and unspoken and complicated. (Also, he went really quickly for the “honey…” and “what my wife failed to mention” lines in 1x11 and 2x04, so even if Flynn won’t admit it, he instinctively sees Lucy in some way as his wife.) So yes. Making them related would be a COMPLETELY illogical stretch, but… if they did that, yeah, I’d probably still ship it. (Shrug emoji.) Because I would recognize that the council had made a decision, but given as it was a stupid-ass decision, would elect to ignore it. (Insert Nick Fury gif here.)

Next, I am obviously glad that you are enjoying my fic and it has converted you to one of us. I started writing the Wyatt/Jessica stuff before she arrived back on the show and am rather pleased with how nicely it fits. Wyatt in canon needs a serious reality check, which I am hoping he gets. I obviously forgave Flynn for being a total fuckup and hurting everyone, I am absolutely willing to do the same for Wyatt, but he needs to have the “well shit I’ve been a selfish ass and am going to substantively make up for it” moment first. I hope the big finale moment is him finally owning up to his dickish behavior and putting everyone else first and otherwise reversing course. Because yeah. I’m judging.

Lastly, I WORRY ALL THE TIME ABOUT US GETTING CANCELLED AFTER THIS SEASON BECAUSE IT WOULD BE A TRAVESTY. A TRAVESTY. The short season has always hurt us narratively, though of course it’s great to get it, but then to cut it off there with no more space at all… god. It gives me the shudders just to think about. And one of the reasons is yes, give me my full redeemed-antihero Garcia Flynn redemption arc. Goran has talked a lot about how we’re seeing more of his real nature this season, and just yes. We saw throughout season 1 that Flynn hated to do a lot of what he was doing, but he did it anyway in the larger purpose of bringing down Rittenhouse (and nobody has yet acknowledged that he was right all along about them…we need more conversations/authentic character moments, guys, NOT SOAPY RELATIONSHIP DRAMA. JUST SAYING). He never really WANTED to be a garbage disaster, but he loved his wife and daughter more, and he was dedicated to taking Rittenhouse down to the point that he thought he couldn’t return to them even if he did save them. So no, he was not a character who was just out there burning shit down for the fun of it (though he does enjoy it in some ways, because… he’s a disaster). But Flynn’s character file in canon has him fighting in a lot of small-scale liberation wars (Chechnya, Bosnia, Kosovo, etc) against occupying/oppressive regimes, and that’s basically what he’s doing with Rittenhouse. He is a good man with a very strong moral code, but also a very grey one. He has correctly identified the overall enemy and is dedicated to destroying them, but he won’t be the hero wringing his hands over it because “it’s not right” to use violence. Which the Time Team is leaning on themselves (they basically left Flynn in 1934 to be a hitman, so… no more judgey remarks about “he’s a killer” would be nice, guys. You know he is and you’re using that because you need it.)

So yes. Flynn doesn’t WANT to be a garbage disaster, so it would be cruel to keep him as one. He is sassy as hell, but he also seems happier working with the team than he ever really did alone (as Goran has also discussed). Again: MORE CONVERSATIONS!!! Did Flynn just see it as business in trying to take out the team before, since they were trying to stop him from taking down Rittenhouse, and now that they agree on who the threat is, he’s happy to work with them? Is Garcia “why do I even delegate” Flynn really trusting them (at least aside from Lucy, who he clearly does) to do what’s needed, or does he essentially think he still has to do it himself? DEVELOPMENT PLEASE!

I wanted Flynn to permanently join the team ever since 1x10 (as that episode threw me down the dumpster in SO many ways) so obviously, I want that to keep up. The 2x07 pic of him and Rufus clasping hands made me hella emotional (also: we still haven’t had a Flogan scene since Flynn arrived in 2x03 and Wyatt stormed out in a hissy fit…still judging for skipping the Messy Boys Trip in 2x05). I want him to be developed and integrated more into the team and made a part of them, because I’m a hopeless sucker for villain becomes weird family member and redeemed antihero and found family and enemies-to-lovers/enemies-to-friends. So yes. Please don’t screw it up, guys.

(Also yes. Yes, I noticed him being taller than the god damn fridge at the end of 2x05. He’s HUGE and it’s ridiculous.)

#lucy x flynn #garcy #timeless meta #timeless spoilers #timeless critical #(not really but just in case)#my garbage boss #anonymous #ask

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krissewrites · 7 years

Text

Flower Shop!Taehyung - BTS Imagine

requested. taehyung is such a cutie my heart can’t take it. this is long tbh.

lets talk about this amazing concept

started working at his mothers flower shop when he was a little boy

and he fell in love with it

he worked under her during high school

and even made weekly visits while he was in college

but when she suddenly fell ill, he promised to take care of the shop in her absence

hes very hardworking

does everything from a spur of the moment bouquet to a full on wedding arrangement

usually by himself

working for hours on ends strains his eyes so now he has to wear his glasses

roses are often the most requested

and no matter how many times he handles them he still gets pricked by the thorns

so he has small cuts all over his fingers

his favorite flowers to work with are peruvian lillies

has multiple aprons but he wears his favorite almost all the time

only changes apron selection on wash day

it’s a blue one with rilakkuma

when he’s not in the shop he’s busy studying accounting

always ends up falling asleep on his homework

and ends up having to turn in drooled on thesis’

but back to the topic

you and your fiance were looking for someone to do the floral part of your wedding

you wanted lillies

he wanted hydrangeas

it was actually something you two fought over quite often

but you eventually gave in and agreed to hydrangeas, reluctantly

your fiance was a busy, working man so he suggested you find the florist

which didn’t bother you that much

after weeks of searching florist after florist, you stumble across a small shop tucked away in seoul by accident

inside is taehyung, leaning against the counter and writing on a small notepad with his head rested against his palm

you couldn’t pass up the chance of this being the perfect florist

so you decide to scrap your original plans for the day and go in

a little bell goes off as you open the door

and taehyung looks up at you

honestly thought you were lost bc you didn’t look korean

speaks to you in a timid voice

“jongin’s shop is down the corner, miss--”

but you ignore him and start glancing over the wide selection of flowers in small pots across the wall

and hes like “is she deaf?”

so he waltzes around the corner and stops beside you

and just as hes about to tell you there’s a better shop down the way, he notices the flower you’ve been eyeing

it was the peruvian lillies

you realize he’s staring and ask introduce yourself

“i’m sorry, it’s rude to just walk in. i’m y/n.”

he’s kind of shy so he just mumbles his name back

but quickly proceeds to ask what you need

“is there a reason you’re here?”

“i need a florist for my wedding”

at first he thought you were cute

but now all that was off the table

and he was strictly business

the two of you end up discussing the arrangements you want made

“i saw you looking at the peruvians. were those the ones you wanted?”

“ah... no... hydrangeas, please.”

he can hear a hint of reluctance in your voice

so he tries to coax the reason why out of you

“the peruvian lillies are my favorite. they’d be good for a wedding!”

has a cheeky smile

but his charms weren’t working on you

you still looked a little solemn as you searched in your purse for your checkbook

so he finishes writing the order up without anything else being said

you were in the middle of writing the check when he suddenly pipes up

“what’s your number?”

and you’re like... are you serious

“i--i don’t know if you understood, but i have a fiance--”

“i need someone to call if something goes wrong in the process, don’t i?”

and you’re like i cannot believe myself

you’re standing across from him, a counter in between you two, laughing to yourself

“i’m sorry, i’m just--”

“stressed?”

“yeah.”

taehyung holds up and finger and walks into a small backroom behind him

comes out moments later with a small, plain white box.

he lifts the lid off to reveal dainty, yellow and white flowers cut off the stem.

“these are chamomiles. you can brew them into a tea. it’ll help you.”

a small grin runs across his face as you look at him, the flowers, and back up

“ah, i don’t know if i can pay for--”

“think of it as a wedding gift.”

your fiance was the root of your stress, which led to you not having smiled in a few weeks

but god did this lonely flower boy give you the smile you needed

you thankfully accept the small box and leave the flower shop smiling like an idiot

throughout the process of preparing the flowers and preparing for the wedding, you’d often drop by the shop to see how he was doing

and he’d always be very respectful, and nice, and formal

and you really, for whatever reason, wanted him to drop the formalities such as “miss”

so you make it your goal to become his friend

and with a little elbow grease and visiting often, he finally opens up to you

“yah, y/n, i think these would look great with the color scheme--”

“wait... did you call me y/n?”

“yeah, now back to the flowers!”

you’d finally gotten closer to him

and he would talk about himself sometimes

but mostly wanted to talk about you

especially why you had made it a habit of coming to the shop every day

often times you’d have these conversations after you brought him lunch from a local deli

and made a small picnic out of the counter

“does your husband work?”

“we’re not married yet. and yes.”

“does he take good care of you?”

“i guess so.”

“guess?”

“what do you want me to say, tae?”

he didn’t like seeing you so frustrated and in an unhappy relationship

but he didn’t have the heart to tell you how unhappy it sounded

every day he would fall a little more in love with you

and every day the wedding got closer

so he kept his feelings to himself

and finally the dreaded day had come

taehyung had spent hours before in the venue placing the bouquets on every table, changing their position until they became perfect

because he’d be damned if he didn’t make this the happiest day of your life

he even sat in the back of the small church, smiling as he watched you walk down the isle

you looked beautiful

you stood before your fiance with a huge grin, surrounded by hydrangeas

in fact, every single thing about the wedding was what he wanted

there wasn’t a trace of you in the building, aside from your looks and attire

but it wasn’t enough for him

“do you, y/n, take kim hansol to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“i do.”

“do you, kim hansol, take y/n to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

the entire room fell silent as he hesitated before you

you furrowed your brows, staring at him

taehyung grew anxious as he watched the entire scene play out before him

your fiance turned to you, shaking his head as he apologize

and then left the altar, loosening his tie

and there you were, abandoned

you break down into tears, running down the aisle and disappearing

while the priest is doing damage control, taehyung ends up taking matters into his own hands

he always kept extra flowers of various types in his shop van he had parked outside

so he promptly gathered a handful

you had burrowed into the reception area, a giant ballroom

your head buried in your arms as you wept

and then you heard footsteps

you look up, expecting your fiance

“what were you doing? how could you--”

but there stood taehyung

in a scraggly jersey knit tee shirt and ripped blue jeans

and glasses resting on the bridge of his nose

holding a handful of peruvian lillies

and your heart which had been broken seemingly repaired itself

you immediately rush to pull taehyung into a hug

and he doesn’t even hesitate to wrap his arms around you

every muscle in his body ached to tell you that he loved you

but all he could muster was a cheap joke

“is he allergic to any flowers? i’ll send him some--”

is overcome with joy when he feels you laugh into his chest

about a week has passed and you have moved out of hansol’s house

and end up at the doorstep of taehyung’s small flower shop

he was the only friend you trusted, and none of you family lived in the country.

so he was your only option

you walk into the shop and see him with an older woman, sorting the display pots

he hears the bell go off and turns to you

and the biggest fucking grin runs across his face

and he greets you with a hug

the two of you spend about a minute hugging before the older woman clears her throat

and taehyung quickly pulls away and straightens his apron

“y/n, this is my mom. the owner of the shop.”

“my boy talks about you a lot. i’m starting to think he loves you more than me.”

insert taehyung losing his mind, signaling his mother to shut up behind you

and when you turn around beaming, he stands still, waving his hand with a cute smile and a nervous laugh.

“is that right?”

his mother eventually recedes to the backroom to take inventory

leaving you with a rosy-cheeked taehyung and a looming aura of embarrassment

he tries to busy himself with the flowers again to avoid eye contact

“she’s still sick, she doesn’t know what she’s saying”

“that’s too bad, i was hoping we could be roommates.”

“eh?”

of course he’s going to say yes to you

if it were his choice, he would’ve made use of the wedding decorations that day and married you then and there

but he had to play cool

by now you’d been roommates for only a few days, and you got insight onto what his life was like behind closed doors

and in the middle of one of his late night study sessions he decided enough was enough

“y/n?”

“yeah?”

“you know you mean a lot to me right?”

he cant make himself look you in the eyes

so instead he takes off his glasses and rubs them as he continues

“what is it, tae?”

he chuckled to himself and rubbed the back of his neck

“i love you.”

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kiefercat · 7 years

Text

30 Day Trans-Challenge except not really bc my memory is too bad for that so you get it all now Little intro and context for new followers and also for me when I look back at this; I'm a 22 year old trans guy from Canada. I've been out since I was 16 and have been on T for 5 years in October. My top surgery is scheduled for 2019 with Dr McLean in Mississauga, Ontario. 1) When did you realize the term transgender referred to you? In grade 10 one of my best friends started transitioning to male. It was my first exposure to anything trans and everything just fell into place after that. I talked to my partner at the time about it a lot and how my identity suddenly started making sense. After around half a year i started going by male pronouns with my friends and I came out publicly a year later. 2) How did you choose your name, and what names were you thinking about using and why? Contrary to popular belief I didn't choose Cooper because of my high school obsession with Alice Cooper. I ripped it off of a cartoon character that had no discernible gender to me. I was also debating going by Kiefer but after some research found out it connects to Cooper like Bob to Robert and just rolled with it. At some point before transition I asked mom what she would have named me if I was born a boy and she said fucking Wayney (dad's name is Wayne) and yeah no I did not want that name at all 3) Have you ever been outed? Quite often. Surprisingly from the people closest to me. My mom and stepdad out me all the time and my best friend/ex gf used to do it a lot too. She stopped thankfully but my mom keeps insisting on making me a discussion topic 4) How did your family take it when you came out/ if you are not out why aren't you? I came out in stages to my family. Mom was first. I fucked up though and forgot I had a stepbrother and basically walked up to her one day and said “you only have a son” and then ran out of the room? She thought I was running away????? Woops. She was kind of ignorant about some stuff for a while but changed a lot of her views pretty quick. She wasn't initially going to let me medically transition before I was 18 but turned around over time and I started t at 17. Stepdad was awkward but supportive. I didn't come out to my dad. My mom had to for me a year after I'd been out to everyone else. I was terrified of rejection bc yay abandonment issues but it went over well! Right after I came out my dad started dating my step mom and she really helped things bc she wasn't afraid to ask the questions that he was too weird about to do himself. She actually administered my tshots for me for a while. Fast forward to last year and suddenly family I hadn't seen for 9 years wanted to get back in contact with me and mom. I was expecting my grandparents and uncle to be really weird about it but they've always been chill. They used to call me a dyke and tell mom she was a failure bc I wore boy clothes when I was a kid so obviously I was worried. 5) Are you active in the trans community or LGBT community? Not nearly as much as I'd like to be. My local active trans community is 80% 40-60 year old trans ladies. Like I love them to bits and I appreciate them sharing their experiences as older queer people but I feel very out of place there. I've been invited to a gay dude cafe meet a few times but am too nervous to go. That being said, my entire friend circle is trans sans a few sprinkled cis people. So I guess we're all just an informal support group lmao 6) Who was the first person you told about being trans? My first partner. She was super queer (was identifying as a bi male at the time we dated) and very understanding and supported me through a lot of the mental gymnastics of realizing I was a dude. 7) Who do you look up to? My friends, honestly. Like I don't know what else to say here lmao 8) How do you deal with being misgendered in the beginning of transitioning by people? Told them politely to only use he/him with me. If they were malicious about it I would try to explain how ignorant that was and if they still didn't get the hint I'd ignore them. 9) What is something positive about being trans? I don't have to hide awkward boners. 10) What are some of your fears in regards to being trans? I'm super afraid of top surgery ending in a result im unhappy with. Like I don't care about the pectoral scarring at all, but I'm worried about proportional problems or dog earring. Basically anything that would require a revision. I'm also super insecure about not having a bio dick. It limits me a lot sexually even with strap ons. No harnesses stay where they need to on me to get anything good happening and my dick always slowly drifts downward. Its frustrating. 11) How do you manage dysphoria? Hahahaahhaa ice cream And usually taking nudes. 12) What are you doing to stay healthy for transitioning mentally and physically? I'm working out every day now. Nothing too intense, but it feels nice. I want to drop about 30-40 pounds before top surgery so am slowly amping up the workouts. Mentally I'm a disaster and am frantically looking for a psychiatrist but can't find any open that have experience with a trans patient. 13) Bathrooms I haven't used a women's bathroom since before I was in testosterone. I'm not anxious about them at all unless there's a lot of drunk dudes or the locks on the stalls don't work. 14) What are some of your passing tips or things you do to pass? Confidence. Fake it till you make it. Being a walking masc alt stereotype got me through high school. 15) How have you embraced your trans identity? Tbh coming out and living life as trans is one of the few times I've been able to do one very important thing consistently: do something for myself no matter what people think. Its something that I've been trying to spread into other aspects of my life. If anything, my trans identity embraced me. 16) What's your rock anthem and why? I think this is the only answer that hasn't changed since last time I did this. I Am, I'm Me from Twisted Sister. 17) What's your binding choice and why? I use a GC2B binder. They're comfy, last long, don't roll, don't have prominent seams, and don't smell funky like my old underworks ones. If I swim publicly or want to slim out my hips for special occasions I wear a full length underworks swim binder. Fun fact: I didn't bind for a year and half bc I gained a fuckwad of weight and my tits passed as moobs. 18) How do you feel about the trans laws where you live? They're getting better. I live in Ontario, Canada so am pretty protected all around. I wish the technical side of transition (name, gender marker) was more streamlined. 19) If you're religious how do your views effect being trans? if you're not religious what about your family religions? I'm in no way religious. My mom had to jump through a bunch of hoops in her head to legitimize my transition through her religion/spirituality. Its a little disturbing to me for details I will not share publicly. 20) Do you want to be a parent? why or why not? I hate children. Keep them away from me. 21) Your views on the cis-gendered community? ??¿¿ they exist. I believe education about trans people and other queer identities should be taught in schools to help cis society not be as blissfully ignorant. I don't believe all cis people hate trans people, but they do have a lot of misconceptions about the community. 22) Do you feel being trans holds you back from your career choice? Fuck no. Honestly I haven't felt nervous about transition affecting my work since my first job. I was just coming out when I worked the museum and was scared they might kick me from the position. Nowadays, I do not disclose my trans status to potential employers until they're hiring me. I thankfully live in a place and time where I'm protected as a trans person in the workplace by the law so haven't felt held back at all. 23) What stereotypes are put on trans people? Undercuts Tbh The stereotypes that stick out to me are the fucking weight ones. Where the fuck are my chunky trans men and ladies at? As a trans guy I am pressured a lot by the representation in the community to aspire to be a buff/cut beefcake or stick thin. Hell, a few of my already very small trans girl friends think they're not as valid bc their bust/waist/hip ratio doesn't make them look like a model. There's literally nothing wrong with being any weight but I find the pressure to be small is even higher within the trans and queer community to fit the stereotype/preconception that we have to be conventionally beautiful to be valid in our identity. 24) Who is your favorite LGBT actor/musician/director/artist etc and why? Uhhhhhhh Tbh I don't even know 25) Doctor visits? I hate them. They make everything about my trans status even if I'm there for something completely unrelated. There is FREE training on trans care for doctors in our part of the province but none seem to opt for it and instead decide its appropriate to ask me transition questions when I'm there for something as unrelated as an impacted nail. 26) Do you feel comfortable answering questions about being trans if say your teacher/friend/stranger asked you? If I'm not paying for their time, if I'm not busy doing something else, and if they are polite, yes. I don't mind answering questions at all! But there's a time and a place and some people just don't understand that. 27) What goals do you have? Lose weight and tone up a bit in time for top surgery. Be aggressively body positive. Continually try to normalize trans bodies. Find a local community to be a part of. 28) What is something you have to do everyday or else you feel like your whole day is off if you don't do it? Shower. If I go out or if people outside of friend circle are near me I have to have my packer and binder. If I'm alone I need music or something on at all times. 29) Write out something positive about yourself using the letters of your name. Ex. Your name is Bob so B-Beautiful O-Outstanding B-Boy Um. I don't have a good name for this uhhh C-Creative O-Open hearted O-Okay P-Phenomenon E-Eager R-Rad I had to Google positive words to do that lmao 30) Write a haiku about being trans I hate writing these Please just cut off my titties Throw them in the fire

#ftm #transgender #trans #transition #afab #30daytranschallenge

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