I know it's been said a thousand times and no one will ever stop but the Barbie movie really had impact on me. Like, in the trans masc experience.
Where you know exactly what barbie is feeling in not only her world but also the real world. Where these things that are different but seen as bad different start happening and maybe there's something you can do about it.
But you risk being known and having to know. And to top it all off you have to endure comments and harassment from the outside world.
I wasn't never cat called. It started young with comments on my weight and hair and body. And only got worse as I got older and still are there, even post transition.
And at the end of it all, all you, as a trans masc person, has gained is knowledge. And that's not horrible. You can relate to this story and want to be there for women and fem presenting individuals.
And it's not to sound selfish, although God it would be so nice to be a little selfish, but you're left wondering how you fit in even after everything has been fixed at the end. Like sure, you're Allen. You're not Ken. You're not Barbie. You are Allen. And you have still been through it.
It's not to say that, we don't need to focus on the fems problem that the story was literally just about, because that problem is still happening and still requires attention. It just sucks being able to relate and intimately know the experience of growing up that way and knowing how exactly it makes your chest sink. How you sit at the edge of your seat and long to just go home because at least there's no comments there.
I've definitely stated what many others have stated, and there's no definitive end to the statement because we don't know what happens next. We can want change. And we can be the change we want to see in the world and inspire others with kindness and a better way. But it will still happen. And it will still suck.
And maybe I just wanted to say it sucked. And I see your pain. I feel it and I know it very well.
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Honestly I think it’s so funny that in the Marvel universe, when someone’s really smart, they have like eight to twelve doctorates and they finished high school at age twelve.
And then over in the DC universe it’s like. This is Tim Drake. He’s a genius. He keeps cloning his loved ones. He dropped out of highschool. Over there is Barry Allen. He can reverse engineer a spaceship in less than a minute. He is such a good chemist he’s still going to be known as the best chemist in 4,000 years. He has a bachelor’s degree.
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Sylvia Rivera during the filming of "The Transexual Menace" (1996)
photo by Mariette Pathy Allen [website] [instagram]
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“His first question was: 'Who's your favourite philosopher?' My heart sank. I wanted to run off and burst into tears. I didn't know any philosophers. And he probably knew I didn't. When I said so, he replied, 'Oh come on, everyone has a favourite philosopher.' It was such a cruel thing to do to a young girl.”
“I was desperate and trying not to cry, but I turned the tables on him and asked him to come up with some names – but he couldn't think of any either! Then he said to me, 'I suppose you've read Dickens,' thinking I hadn't. So I said, 'Yeah, I read him at school.' In the end he said, 'Oh, I can't interview her,' and left the stage.”
TWIGGY & WOODY ALLEN
My Generation (2017) dir. David Batty
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You don’t need another human being to make your life complete, but let’s be honest. Having you wounds kissed by someone who doesn’t see them as disasters in your soul but cracks to put their love into is the most calming thing in this world.
Emery Allen
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