#also learn what is private criticism you keep to yourself or talk to friends about | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tallmantall · 1 year

Text

#JamesDonaldson On #MentalHealth - How To Help #Kids Who Are Too Hard On Themselves

Bolstering self-critical #children who tend to talk themselves down Writer: Katherine Martinelli Clinical Expert: Rachel Busman, PsyD, ABPPEN ESPAÑOL What You'll Learn - Why might #kids say bad things about themselves? - What can #parents do to help kids who are hard on themselves? - Quick Read - Full Article - What is #self-talk? - Globalized thinking - Perfectionism - Too cool for #school - Attention-seeking - Lack of resilience - #Bullying - When to worry - What #parents can do to help Back to Top Quick Read All #kids say bad stuff about themselves sometimes. But when their inner voice keeps saying bad things, it can have a negative effect on them. #Children who expect a lot of themselves may be prone to negative #self-talk. For older #kids, saying things like, “I’m so stupid” or, “I’m so fat” can be a way of protecting themselves from social pressure. They may say bad things about themselves before someone else does it. And #kids who are being #bullied may start to believe the bad things other #kids say about them and start saying them too. While some #kids may do this as a way of getting attention, others do it because they’re not good at bouncing back when something bad happens. They also might not want to try new or hard things. #Parents should take negative #self-talk seriously when it starts to happen a lot and causes problems with #school or friends. Also watch out if your #child stops eating or sleeping well or complains about feeling sick a lot and doesn’t want to go to school. This could mean your #child is depressed. #Parents can help. Really listen to your #child and show that you care how they feel. Try not to be overly cheery when they share a concern. When you catch yourself being negative, correct yourself. For example, if you burn something and blurt out, “I’m a terrible cook,” correct that. Say, “Actually I’m a pretty good cook. Everyone makes mistakes.” Check in with your child’s #teachers, too. If your #child keeps saying bad things about themselves, seems to be depressed or has other changes in their #behavior, it makes sense to talk to #mentalhealthprofessional. We hear #kids say negative things about themselves all the time: “I’m so stupid!” “Nobody likes me.” And, of course, “I’m fat.” Or “I’m ugly.” Sometimes these things are throwaway lines, or fishing for reassurance. They may be harmless. But what experts call negative #self-talk can also reflect an unhealthy tendency in #kids to think the worst of themselves, and that can lead to—or be a sign of—something more serious. What is #self-talk? #Self-talk is essentially our inner monologue, explains Rachel Busman, PsyD, a clinical #psychologist. It can be a way of narrating what is happening around you, practicing language, and guiding yourself through a task. While #self-talk is often constructive, it can also go the other way. We all engage in self-critical #behavior from time to time, and it isn’t an immediate cause for concern. But it’s useful to think about why your #child might be talking themselves down, and when it might reflect a problem. Globalized thinking #Kids often make statements about themselves that reflect “all or none thinking,” explains Lisa Brown, PsyD, a private practitioner and #psychologist at the Rodeph Sholom Day #School in New York. For example, when a #child doesn’t do well in one soccer game and exclaims, “I stink at soccer!” When this kind of globalized thinking persists, she says, it “can affect how #children think and feel about themselves in general.” Perfectionism “#Children who set impossibly high standards for themselves,” says Dr. Brown, “are prone to engage in negative #self-talk.” These perfectionists can be so hard on themselves that they run themselves down trying to reach their goals. Too cool for #school Sometimes the self-deprecating “I’m so going to fail that test!” or “I’m so fat!” can be a form of social protection. For older #kids in particular, “the social sphere becomes really important,” says Dr. Busman. In certain social circles it may not be cool to be smart, and obsessing over appearances may be a way to fit in with the popular #kids. Or maybe the #child is trying to beat others to the punch by making negative statements first. Attention-seeking “Sometimes,” says Dr. Brown, “#children may engage in negative self-talk, verbalized out loud, in an attempt to manipulate others or in an effort to get attention.” For example a #child may try to guilt #parents by talking about what a horrible #child they are and how they deserve to be punished. Lack of resilience In some cases, self-critical thought can be an indication of lack of resilience or “grit,” as some #psychologists refer to it. “If #children regularly respond to disappointments with negative #self-talk that is out of proportion to the particular disappointments,” says Dr. Brown, “this can lead to avoiding certain experiences as well as a lack of motivation to persevere in the face of difficulties.” #Bullying If a #child is being picked on, it can be easy for them to internalize the insults aimed at them. Shawna Palomo, mom to a 17-year-old daughter, says her daughter’s negative #self-talk emerged when she was 13. “They made fun of her,” recalls Palomo. “After a while, she would believe all the bad stuff her classmates were saying about her. She would always say how ugly she was.” Her daughter complained that her lips and nose were too big, her hair too curly. “It’s hard watching your #child battle these demons,” laments Palomo. When to worry In #isolation, negative #self-talk is natural and not cause for concern. But it can also be evidence of low #self-esteem, a #learningdisability, #anxiety, or #depression. Dr. Busman offers these signs to look out for: - The negative #self-talk is persistent and pervasive. - It is not based in reality. For example, your son gets invited to play dates but still frets that no one likes him, or he always aces spelling tests but remains anxious that he will fail. - It is impacting a child’s relationships or schoolwork. - Your child’s eating and/or sleeping patterns have changed. - They’re making persistent, vague “I don’t feel well” statements in the absence of physical symptoms. Palomo noticed many of these signs in her daughter as the negative #self-talk led to #depression. “She would not care about her appearance, then it went to the extreme where her appearance was all she cared about.” She didn’t do her homework, lost weight, and wanted to stay in bed all day. #James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleOrder your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife:From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com What #parents can do to help Here are some ways to free #children from negative thinking and steer them away from destructive #self-talk: Listen and validate. It can be tempting to ignore it when a #kid first expresses negative feelings, but Dr. Busman says she “would recommend never just brushing off those kinds of comments, even if they’re kind of silly or not based in any reality.” Instead, offer a safe place for your #child to come with concerns and try to find out what is going on. Offer a realistic approach. Both Dr. Busman and Dr. Brown advise against battling critical #self-talk with overly optimistic “positive thinking,” and recommend a more realistic approach. So if a #child says they’re sure no one will talk to them on their first day at a new #school, you don’t want to say, “The first day of #school is going to be great and you’re going to make a million friends.” Instead, you might offer: “The first day of #school might be a bit scary, but as you settle in you will likely make friends and grow to love it.” Put it in context. Dr. Brown notes that #adults can help by talking with kids in a way that “contextualizes their experience” and offers a “broader perspective.” Help them identify specifically what upset them, she explains, or made them make such a self-critical statement, and acknowledge that one bad experience doesn’t equate being the worst at something. Model realistic and positive #self-talk. Try to stop saying self-critical things about yourself, too. Don’t fixate on mistakes you’ve made, or worry out loud about your weight. We want to model positive #self-esteem for our #children. Dr. Busman also suggests offering stories from your own life to relate to your #child. “Whether it’s an embellished example or entirely factual,” she says, “you’re modeling non-anxious coping and more realistic #self-talk.” Correct the record. Dr. Brown also notes catching yourself in the midst of making a negative statement can create a valuable teachable moment. Say you burn something and yell in frustration, “I’m a terrible cook!” Continue the conversation in front of your #child with something like “actually, I’m a pretty good cook most of the time, I just messed up this dish but I’m not going to let that stop me from cooking in the future.” Touch base with school. If your #child is in school, check in with their #teachers about what you’re hearing. Getting their perspective can help you see a more complete picture. Dr. Busman notes that this kind of information can also be useful later should you end up having a professional evaluation. Seek professional help. If the #behavior is persistent and negatively impacting your child’s life, or if it’s linked to other troubling shifts in mood and #behavior it might be time to obtain a diagnostic evaluation to help determine what is causing the problem. Dr. Busman calls this a “#mentalhealth check-up,” and it can help pinpoint what is going on and how it can be treated. Read the full article

0 notes

losthomunculus · 3 years

Text

Online Safety Relevant to the Current State of the Internet

On twitter I made a tweet about how online safety lessons in school can be very out of touch but that the advice of people who are familiar with the current internet shouldn't be disregarded. So here's my informal collection of online safety tips

Sources: unrestricted internet access since elementary school (not recommended), being a formerly involuntarily home bound person for several years that amassed way too much online experience

This could possibly hold upsetting reminders to people who had bad experiences online including mentions of grooming and emotional manipulation so please proceed with caution!

Information Sharing

Make an online pseudonym for public profiles and websites.

Don’t feel like you have to list everything about you for the world to see.

Sometimes it’s not a question of “can this information be used to locate and identify me irl?”, but simply “do I want this information publicly available and linked to my online persona?”

Unlike offline, being online leaves a constant trail of who you were accessible at all times. People are constantly growing and changing. Try to limit the information you share so you can ditch that trail and start over if need be.

Sharing information with people you make friends with and trust is a judgement call on your part, but always be on the safe side and be protective of your information.

Start as cautious as possible with online safety. Any risks or judgement calls can come later when you are 1. aware of the risks, 2. ready to address them if they occur, and 3. have gathered plenty of information instead of doing something blindly and hoping for the best.

Do not share your triggers publicly, they can very easily be used against you. Instead use websites with a large amount of filtering options to curate your online experience. If you are going to share them, only do it privately with people you trust.

Importance of Boundaries

It doesn’t matter how mature you are, don’t enter age limited spaces you don’t qualify for. It’s disrespectful to the boundaries of the people who made that space. Boundaries like this exist for the comfort of both sides involved.

Just because you can “handle it” doesn’t mean it’s good for you. Desensitization is not something to brag about.

Venting or making r18 posts as a minor on a public account is VERY dangerous. Intense emotional vulnerability is something manipulators will look for as a way to get to you. The same with sexual jokes to develop your comfort talking about those topics casually and eventually escalating the situation. If you are going to talk about such things please keep that in private conversations with people you trust in your age group.

Note the difference between public and private online space. Tweeting something on a public account is not the same as having a conversation in the cafeteria with your friends.

If an adult tries talking to you about r18, run the other way. Doesn’t matter how cool you are, it says something weird about THEM if they’re willing to talk to a minor about that stuff.

If someone( like 3+ years, honestly depends on how old you are) older than you wouldn't be comfortable saying what they're saying to you in front of other people (like a teacher or guardian), that's suspicious as hell. Run in the other direction.

The younger you are, the more age gaps matter. There's a bigger difference in development between a 13 year old and a 17 year old than there is between a 20 year old and a 24 year old. It helps to try to contextualize it with real people instead of numbers. Instead of thinking "oh just 4 years? that's not that weird" consider "oh. that would be like a freshman (13/14) dating a senior (17/18). yikes."

Be just as wary of people your own age talking about things that make you uncomfortable. Just like irl, sometimes you’ll meet people your age that are hurtful.

Friends complain to each other and talk about their issues, that alone is fine. But when people are doing it without permission, draw a line. When people are making it feel like you’re responsible for maintaining their mental health, you need to draw a line. When it starts to effect your mental health, PLEASE DRAW A LINE! I know it feels like your responsibility sometimes, but it’s not. You cannot be there for others if you’re not taking care of yourself first and foremost.

Don’t be afraid to block people. Even for petty reasons. It’s good to block people. Don’t force yourself to see stuff you don’t want to see.

Being Constantly Online

The 24 hour news cycle is not a good thing to follow 24/7. Taking social responsibility is a good thing, but your brain is NOT built to worry about every issue in the world at once. One strategy I use for staying sane is I try to only check the news once a day, and if something needs more attention to set aside an amount of time I’m going to focus on it before I need to take time to step back.

Touch grass. Not literally, unless you can in which case I highly suggest it, sometimes it’s just good to lay in a field. What I mean is you need to dedicate a good portion of your time to being offline (sleep does not count). What your offline time looks like is going to differ depending on your level of ability, but even if you are house bound it’s important to build some hobbies that don’t rely on the internet. Talking to people offline is also a good goal if possible, even just to your housemates.

Social etiquette greatly differs online and offline and sometimes the reminder that were all just Some People gets lost behind the numbers and the fabricated personas. Keep in mind the difference in how information is shared without forgetting that the fact we are all people remains the same.

Be generous with your etiquette. You will avoid a lot of stress if you conduct yourself with the same politeness you would have in an offline interaction. Master the art of "minding your own business" for your own sake.

Arguments and Competition

As soon as you can, you need to internalize the fact that leaving an argument is not losing.

It is inevitable you will be exposed to many people who disagree with you. Some people only want to argue to rile you up. Sometimes that’s not their intention, but it’s what they’re doing. You do not have to remain in conversation with people, especially if they’re not interested in actually coming to an understanding. Even if they are interested, sometimes they just suck!! Leave!! You can leave!!

On that note, sometimes you are going to get valid criticism and it’s going to hurt. That is part of learning. If someone says you messed up and did something hurtful, take a second to step back from your defensiveness and consider: intent ≠ effect. Apologize, repair what you can, and move forward with the ability to do better in the future. You’re going to mess up every once in awhile, it’s inevitable.

To summarize the past two points: don't waste your time on unnecessary hostility but don't close yourself into an echo chamber either. Debates should be about learning.

Sometimes people are not going to like you. This happens offline too but people tend to be a lot more blunt online. Sometimes people dislike you for no reason or for really petty reasons. That’s not your problem, move on.

Don’t actively seek out people you don’t like or who don’t like you to argue with. Whether or not your side is the “right side” doesn’t matter, it’s going to cause you so much unnecessary stress. Feel free to keep posting your opinions on your own profile but don’t seek out unnecessary conflict.

This is a different type of competition than previously mentioned, but be aware of the danger of comparing yourself to other people. Especially if you’re a creative or student, DO NOT GET SWEPT UP IN THE GRIND CULTURE. It’s more subtle in some places than others, but anytime you see the notion that you should be working yourself to the bone be VERY critical. Also be critical of any online cultures (such as gaming and art communities) that brag about unhealthy habits or act like it’s ~part of the culture~ (ex: all nighters, not taking breaks, getting hurt. Any activity that neglects health to work toward a goal).

Not just grind culture, any community of subculture that shares anti recovery sentiments is a huge red flag. Even if they're joking, it's not worth the risk of internalizing those statements.

Everyone’s social media presence is to some degree doctored because it’s a purposefully selected collection of what they allow you to see. It’s fine to like the persona you see being displayed, but never forget that it is not reflective of the entire person. Everyone online is JUST SOME PERSON. Do not forget that and start holding yourself to a standard you can’t even see every side of.

By posting online you are opening yourself to criticism. Whether or not it’s justified can vary, but either way it’s going to happen. Mute stuff, go private, disable comments, etc if you need to.

Misc Tidbits

these are technically just general info that is also good for offline but I have seen things that make me think people online need the extra reminder.

Learn what cults are, how they recruit, and what they do to their members. I'm not kidding. This is particularly relevant at the moment because of current societal unrest and widespread loneliness. No one is immune to cult propaganda, and not every cult is based on pre established religion or family. Many exist ONLINE and are able to manipulate people without ever meeting face to face. (learn more: Loneliness as a Pandemic: The Dangers of Online Cult

Familiarize yourself with the concept of pseudoscience. Please familiarize yourself with the concept of pseudoscience and then learn how to identify pseudoscience. (learn more: Karl Popper, Science, & Pseudoscience: Crash Course Philosophy #8)

Q. How do I know if a source is reliable?

Final Thoughts

It's important people of ALL ages learn these lessons, because the internet is constantly changing and we are all vulnerable when in the presence of other people.

Be cautious and stay safe

2K notes · View notes

astrologybyana · 3 years

Text

7th house rulers in houses

heyy! i’m here with another house rulers in houses series

but i’m gonna write all this in one post 💖

so, you know how our 1st house is our body and personality right? it’s us ourselves

however, out 7th house is like a door in our charts, opening to the outer world. it mostly is about our partners, but also people around us

who we attract, and are attracted to

what you need to know to read this post is your 7th house, its ruler planet, and the sign + house it is in!

you can find them our simply by going to astro.com, choosing “free horoscopes” and then “extended chart selection”! from house systems, choose “whole signs” and there it is!

for sign rulerships, click here!

it’s a long post so i cut it from here 🧚🏻‍♀️

7th house ruler in 1st / aries

very, very charming, with people skills on its highest hahah ✨

relationships are important for you

you tent to attract people who are independent and socially outgoing

you probably feel like you need to identify with people, so you might be attracted to people with personalities like yours

and if the planet is beneficial, you are most likely to bond very fortunate relations with people!

but you should be careful not to lose yourself in order to please your partner, or anyone else

7th house ruler in 2nd / taurus

you tend to like people who have the same values as you

you’d like to have a partner who is a good provider, money-wise 💸

and if the planet is beneficial, this is what you’ll attract as well 🎈

longevity, security and reliability is important for you

so is pda 💖

if the planet is beneficial, this placement attracts fortunate long-term relationships

7th house ruler in 3rd / gemini

communication is literally everything to you, you’d like to talk things through with people

you’d probably like to discuss anything and everything with your partner 💖

though, if the planet is malefic, these might turn into quarrels... and in this case, not just with your partner

you’d also like to spend a lot of time together, even if you don’t do anything

you might find partners from your workplace, or maybe different cultures 🕊

if the planet is beneficial, your partner will bring lots of luck to you 🧚🏻‍♀️

keep in mind that 3rd house improves with time 🎀

7th house ruler in 4th / cancer

you seek people who are nurturing and caring

if the planet is beneficial, this is what you’ll attract 🦄

i think you’d like to have traditions with people you love, little or big, doesn’t matter

you might like your partner to fit in your sense of home, family and comfort

this position might show a person who is seeking for a relationship like their parents’ and this might be unconscious

if the planet is beneficial, a very harmonious home is waiting for you tho 💜

7th house ruler in 5th / leo

relationships of people who have this placement are usually really happy ✨

you are in love with the idea of love

you don’t think you can marry someone unless you are head over heels for them

you seek for creative and expressive people who bring out your creative side as well 🎈

you might be depending on your partner’s encouragement instead of your own at some point

if the planet is malefic, it shows quarrels with children

7th house ruler in 6th / virgo

you are seeking for people who are supportive of what you do, both on a daily routine-wise and work-wise 💖

and you probably attract perfectionists!

you might meet your partner through work, or work with your partner! ✨

if the planet here is malefic, they might be stick their nose into what you do too much and you might feel criticized a lot

so there might be domestic troubles

your partner might be helping people with their problems for work, and this could be any kind of problem, the planet sitting here might help you understand more

keep in mind that 6th house iimproves over time 🌸

7th house ruler in 7th / libra

this placement is actually super fortunate when it comes to relationships! if the planet is beneficial, ofc 🎈

being in love with the idea of relationships

you get close to people quite easily 🌸

i have friends with this placement, and they are way too giving. being giving is good, but sacrificing to the point of losing yourself is not. please learn how to put yourself first, it is the best form of self care 💜

if the planet sitting here is sun, mars or saturn, it shows a person who is attracted to strong people who take the lead

this might lead to passive aggresive behaviour over time

7th house ruler in 8th / scorpio

relationships transform you, they help you grow

if the planet here is malefic, you might be tend to create challenges unconsciously

you don’t like light-hearted relationships and you’re drawn to intensity, when you like someone it’s most likely not to be just a crush

so it’s hard for you to move on afterwards

if the planet is beneficial, this placement might show an unexpected heritance!

and a wealthy union 💸💖

7th house ruler in 9th / sagittarius

your partner might be from overseas, and if you wanna get married this might happen in a foreign country, too! 🕊

although, you might not feel good about legal commitments ✨

your partner might be into academics, you might meet through the internet or maybe in college

you enjoy talking about philosophy with your partners

it’s important for you to have a reationship that touches more than your body and emotions

you wanna explore more, you seek adventure, curiousity, and to be inspired ☀

7th house ruler in 10th / capricorn

this placement is really lucky if the planet is beneficial 💜

you might take on a parental role, or seek people who do so

you might attract authority figures, professionals

your partner is most likely to be ambitious and a hard worker

you might be in the public eye through your relationships

you like feeling special in relationships, so having a partner who makes you feel this way is important for you 🎈

keep in mind that 10th house improves over time 🎀

7th house ruler in 11th / aquarius

beneficial planets here mean fortunate friendships ❤

otherwise tho, it means a lawsuit with partners

it is very important for you to have partners who share the same ideas as you

you attract people who are independent and unusual

you need freedom in your relationships

you are able to connect with crowds very well! 🌸

11th house is also one of those that improve over time 🧚🏻‍♀️

7th house ruler in 12th / pisces

you seek for people who are spiritual, creative, imaginative 💜

if the planet is beneficial, you might live in a foreign country with your partner! 🦄

relationships might be complex to you

you might wanna take a “healer” or a “savior” role, or seek people who do so

you might want your relationships to be private and maybe mysterious, you want a deep connection

if the planet here is malefic, you or your partner might sacrifice and bear too much

thank you for reading 🧚🏻‍♀️

1K notes · View notes

subwaysurf45 · 3 years

Text

Winter Makes Ice (Ep. 4)

Summary: you’re captured after a brawl at the Avengers building, Bucky and others must save you before Hydra makes a new Winter Soldier out of you, Bucky has given up that title.

Words: 4123

Episode: Four

Warning: violence, gore, description of violence, fighting

Masterlist! Winter Makes Ice Episode: Three

Time: 3:20am

Date: October 3rd 2024

Wakanda was always calm when Steve went, the people who lived there just seemed to understand the ways of life. There was never a catcall or fight in an alley, people greeted each other with kindness and a soft bow, Steve always copied but felt like he was too stiff when he did so. He found he walked with his back a little straighter and his chin a little higher, he felt unstoppable in the warm climate, filled with power and generosity.

Natasha on the other hand hated Wakanda, not because of the people but for the same reason as Steve; it was too peaceful. She’d always get the dirtiest looks when trying to explain her case, no one seemed to understand the concept of ‘too much comfort is uncomfortable’. She ran to Bucky once after a moment and asked him why he liked it so much, she thought he off all people would hate comfort, he’d always be one to sleep on the floor because the mattress would feel like it was swallowing him. He just shook his head and shrugged, he’d never tell anyone why; Nat found out he never even told you.

Natasha had been trained to trust no one other than yourself, but after escaping the Red Room she questioned the one in the mirror all too often. People would smile and while Steve smiled and waved Natasha thought of ulterior motives, why were they smiling to them and not the people slightly behind them? but then they’d smile to the people behind Natasha and she’d question if it was to cover themselves. The welcoming's to almost everywhere felt weird, she wanted to break in or have to fake her way to what she wanted, having doors opened for her felt like a slap in the face for all the things she’s done for those years before.

“God, gives me the creeps,” Natasha faked a shiver, Steve just rolled his eyes. They were walking in the palace now, T’Challa would be waiting for them in Shuri’s tech room.

Apparently Shuri had been wanting to try a new type of cuff, one made of- obviously -vibranium that tightens at a lie. There were little needles that poke into the culprit's nervous system, it picks up on someone’s sign that they are lying and tightens when the little pins are triggered. If someone's breath picked up or heart rate doubled, it would squeeze a little bit more until their hands were blue. Nat thought it was amazing when she heard it over the phone, her mind was picturing it the entire flight over.

Steve had been thinking about Bucky, Steve was well aware of Bucky’s deep connection to you. You’d been dating for over a year and it was love at first sight (then Bucky quietly loving you from the other side of the room), Bucky was never one to fall for someone, he’d never have the confidence in himself that he’d be here for too long. But it was the little things Bucky began to do that made Steve appreciate you even more. He’d watch from his spot on the kitchen counter, quietly sipping coffee and reading the paper, which wasn’t actually paper because it was on his phone, while glancing over every so often to see you and Bucky in your own little world, both giggling at something. There's this moment for Bucky when he’d just look at you, Steve had seen it happen so often, like Bucky was taking a step back and realizing he had someone who loved him unconditionally. The laugh would die down and Bucky would whisper something, it would alway be along the lines of ‘thank you’ but it could change. He’d sometimes do it with Steve as well, both you and Steve would say the same thing, ‘no need to thank me, but you’re welcome’ because that’s what Bucky liked best.

You were just an agent when you arrived, nothing more. Slowly you had gotten to know who everyone was by going out of your way to give out cookies to everyone who walked by you, it was a little thing Bucky seemed to really enjoy. After your talents were discovered from past jobs you were moved to a spy, you’d used to work for a private firm where they’d track down people who launder money, you’d have to get so much evidence it often led you to get jobs at mattress stores or random shops. With that and a lifeguard certification- that you got when you were a teen- under your belt you were perfect to be an agent, Fury introduced you to Bucky for combat training because Bucky needed to learn how to work with others; Steve actually told Fury to give Bucky the assignment.

You’d spar everyday and the both of you would get into it. There would be times where you wouldn’t talk to each other for the rest of the day because the other cheated. Everyone would laugh but you’d take it very seriously, Bucky would always say you weren’t strong enough to go out into the field, so you lifted weights. He’d say you weren’t fast enough, then he’d see you sprinting on the treadmill a day later.

Steve knew you were good for Bucky when you were about to start dating, it was at that part where you were going on dates but you weren’t dating. With all the things Bucky had criticized you on, you flipped it on him with one simple task: keep your fiddle-leaf fig plant alive. It would’ve taken Bucky one google search to find out that 61% of people can’t keep this house plant alive, it’s the hardest one to take care of. It was a metaphor of sorts, for you and for your relationship.

It wasn’t a surprise to find it dead when you got home, Steve came to you with his shoulders slumped. Apparently Bucky had been crying for three days straight because he killed your plant and he thought you’d dump him because of it. It was the weird feelings when Steve saw you start to laugh, this was his best friend who was crying of guilt and you were laughing, he’d wanted to punch you square in the jaw.

“What’s so funny?” he asked way too harshly.

“Oh nothing…” you wiped the tear that had fallen.

“Baby, I’m so sorry!” Bucky had left his room and came running to you, his face was red and his eyes were barely open from how puffy they were. He quickly pulled you in for a hug, “I messed up your plant, I’m sorry.”

Steve was getting redder and redder the more you laughed, “what’s so fucking funny, huh?” Steve boomed, he was getting protective.

You had dropped the act then, both of them were very emotional at the moment and laughing wouldn’t be the best choice of action. “Don’t worry, Bucky,” you soothed him, “you weren’t supposed to keep alive.”

“What?” he pulled away and sniffled, “but you asked me to-”

“To try,” you paused with emphasis, “and keep one of the hardest plants to keep alive, alive.” you smiled, “I was proud that I had kept it alive for as long as I did, but I needed to see what you would do with something like this.”

“Why?” Steve asked for Bucky, still very protective.

“Did you buy a new one and hope I didn’t notice?” You asked, Bucky shook his head no. “did you get mad at me because I gave you a stupid chore?” He also said no to that. “Did you make Wanda keep it alive with her powers?” all these options ran through Bucky’s head and he didn’t even think of them, “you put so much effort into this, and even if you did fail you still cared a lot, that’s all I ever want. I want this relationship to work and if you run at the first sign of adversity then this won’t work, but you buckle down and keep pushing, and if it doesn’t work? Then I know you actually cared, and you tried. That’s all.”

“You’re a keeper.,” Steve said before walking away and giving them space to catch up.

Nat waved a hand in front of Steve’s face, and it turns out he’d been staring at T’Challa for a while while he was talking. They had walked the entire way and Steve just stared at the ground with a blank expression, he needed to look out for you in order to keep Bucky sane.

“S-sorry, I zoned out.” Steve straightened his posture a bit, hands on hips and shoulders rolled back.

“No worries, captain Rogers.” T’Challa spoke calm as ever, “I have the criminals in the room, they have the new tech that’s already set up, my sister wanted to set it up.” T’Challa opened one arm and guided them to the secret room where two men sat with their hands cuffed and on their laps. “Neither of them have any record of being born, probably a fake identity.” The king linked arms with Shuri and walked out of the small room.

Seeing how grand and futuristic Shuri’s lab was made it shocking to be in a normal interrogation cell, two rusty chairs that were occupied and no table. Steve looked to see the single light that hung from the ceiling, it wasn’t a soft yellow like the one’s at the Avenger building but purple, vibranium always casted a purple/blue hue.

“Where are you from?” Steve asked.

“Iceland.” the one on Steve’s left answered.

“Is Hydra now stationed in Iceland?” Nat cut in and asked.

“One station, there’s many.” The same man on the left kept talking, the other one had his head all the way down with his forehead touching his knees.

Steve leaned up against the wall, “you attacked Princes Shuri, why?”

“Because she is the one that made us start from the very beginning, she's the one that erased the trigger words from your friend and our weapon.” He snarled, “She needed to pay for what she did, we should have known Wakanda was the hardest place to attack, we’d need a Winter Soldier for that.” A smirk grew from the right side of his mouth.

“What are you smiling about?” Nat pressed, she walked closer.

“Oh, nothing- ow!” the handcuffs tightened, his breathing rate doubled as he tried to ride out the initial shock.

“Tell us!” Steve smashed the wall, causing a dent to grow from it.

“Fine…” the man adjusted, “once we found out we’d never get our Winter Soldier back we quickly moved on, no one can break Wakanda’s tech, it’s impossible.” The man sighed and looked off, “so we chose to start again, make a new way, create a new trial. It’s safe to say we did.” he took a deep breath and leaded back against his chair, his fingertips were beginning to turn purple, it was difficult to see with the purple hue of the room. “When we attacked your building we didn’t want Barnes, we wanted someone, anyone. This girl was the closest to us, and it seemed to be the closest to Barnes, am I right?” he quizzed, seemed to be genuinely wondering. “She’d wake up and forget where she is, normally she’d pat the ground beside her and call out for a man named Bucky, that’s Barnes. It was the perfect choice, completely on a whim.” He looked at Nat, “she got her confidence from you, the entire time we were slowly poisoning her she completely believed she was here for ransom, it was funny to see her face when he told her what we did to her, how we now control her. The look on her face when we asked who wiped Barnes’ trigger words… She spit them out but her face was full of fear, her voice and thoughts weren’t her own.”

“Why would you tell us all of this?” Steve asked.

“I know I will die,” the cuffs didn’t tighten, “and my friend is already dead, I’d like to go with a bullet and not torture.” He looked up to them. “I think my father has passed, he worked for Hydra and I’d like to see him, to ask for forgiveness.”

Natasha pushed back the other man who hadn’t spoken a word to find his hands blackened and completely dead, the tightness had cut off all circulation. Right near the edge of the cuff and on the man’s skin was starting to split, there was no blood to leak out of the cut because there wasn’t blood in the veins, it was slowly falling and peeling away.

“You tortured my friend- two of them actually!” Steve screamed, “I hope to god you die slowly.” Steve lifted his gun to the man’s face, he closed his eyes. But Steve moved the aim to the thigh, you had told him that a shot to the femoral artery was fatel after ten seconds of bleeding, you had also told him that the femur- which was what the femoral artery is attached to -is the most painful break for bones.

So Steve shot at the middle of the thigh, he and Nat watched without emotion as the man quickly bled out, the blood squirted in the air and rolled down his pants. Blood coming from an artery is bright red and tends to squirt, but from a vein makes the blood more slow and dark. When the final squirt of blood managed to hit the man’s face, Steve knew he hit right on target; and that you were right for all those things.

Time: 5:59am

Date: October 3rd 2024

Bucky and Wanda walked through the forest, most of the leaves had fallen off the trees due to the season so they could see further into the thick woods. Not a lot of talking was happening between the two of them, Bucky was way too focused on keeping his cool while Wanda used her powers to see if there was any form of life around.

The wind blew softly and the leaves that held on for dear life were now getting pushed aside off the flimsy twigs, they would fall and join the other countless leaves that met the same fate. Wanda loved the fall, she’d jump into a pile of leaves any chance she got. Right now she was purposely stepping on the ones that looked the most dry which would give a good crunch. Her nose was a little red due to the cold but everywhere else she was yellow and happy, it seemed she gave off heat.

Bucky hated the fall, the sound of stepping on leaves sounded like someone was right behind him. If there was a Hydra agent out in these woods they would have heard them from a mile away with all of Wanda’s jumping and giggling. Bucky loved Wanda in a motherly kind of way, but sometimes she was just too...happy…

When everything seemed lost, Bucky and Wanda’s phones began to vibrate, Bucky was quick to pick up. Both Bucky and Wanda made their way to a tree stump to take a moment to listen. Wanda sat on the ground floor and picked at the tons of leaves that covered the ground, she’d pick and rip them apart one by one.

“It’s Steve,” Bucky whispered before picking up, “Steve?”

“Buck, you have to listen to me,” his voice was shaken and distraught, “I’ve sent the coordinates, she’s there but I don’t know how much of her is left.”

“What does that mean?” Bucky asked as he looked over to see Wanda looking at the coordinates on her phone.

“I don’t know how much has happened to her, they’ve brainwashed her.” Steve took a deep breath, Bucky could hear Nat in the background, “we have to act fast, we’re on our way, do not wait for us.” he commanded and Bucky nodded but he knew Steve couldn't see, there was a type of mind reading between the two of them that really came in handy for times like these.

“Roger that.” Bucky hung up and began to move again, Wanda had read the location and it turned out they weren’t that far away, at the final stretch they saw the building through the empty trees.

The forest had been cleared around the building, the grass seems healthy but it was starting to brown with the changing weather. The building itself was very small for it to be the most dangerous Hydra facility, it was only one story. There were no windows and the outer wall was all one grey colour, no symbols or tanks ready to fire; there wasn’t even a guard around the building. It seemed too vacant for it to be true, the wind seemed to stop as they got closer into the open field, it was completely still and almost dead.

Bucky or Wanda actually had a plan, everything had been so fast there wasn’t anything drawn out or spoken about at some meeting, this was all instinct. Though there were no windows and security cameras they both knew something had to be watching the outside, they were low to the ground in the open field but the grass was way too short to cover them. Bucky had his gun ready while Wanda’s hands were in a position to create a shield for the both of them, at the sound of a vibration Wanda checked her phone.

“Steve and Nat have landed, they are five minuets out,” she whispered.

“Copy.” was all Bucky could think to say.

Both of their backs smashed against the wall, with their final moments of bliss before fighting a couple deep breaths were taken and eyes remained shut. Bucky’s finger fiddled on the trigger of the gun, Imagining what it would look like to blow the man who hurt you to oblivion. Bucky moved further and farther away from his Winter Soldier thoughts, the mass murder and robotic revenge. But when it came to someone hurting you, he’d even put the mask back on.

On the count of three the door was bursted open, and right away agents on the inside began to fire. Wanda and Bucky took them down their own way.

One agent was still alive, Bucky ran up and gripped his throat. “Where is she!” he screamed.

“You’ll never know-”

A gun was placed to his head.

“-Alright! Alright!” The man shrieked, “third door on the left, please don’t kill me!” the man cried.

“I won’t kill you,” Bucky lowered his gun but the grip on his neck tightened, “I’ll torture you slowly before.'' His left hand gripped so tight around the agent’s neck he could hear the bone shattering, clear fluid from the agent’s spine leaked from his eye and ear before blood followed. Bucky watched emotionlessly as the agent’s face turned blue and almost popped like a balloon. “Wanda, get them all outside.”

“Yes, sergeant!” Wanda yelled, she was fighting off everyone else.

Bucky blew by everyone as they ran to see the commotion, so ran right by Bucky without thinking he was the threat. Wanda was now outside and in a matter of seconds the eeriness of the outside matched the inside, the air was still and stuffy, it smelt like the beginning of decomposing. Bucky had his gun ready but it seemed no one was in here, his only threat was you.

Bucky took note of the stone grey floors, and stone grey walls, and stone grey ceilings. HYDRA didn’t put much money into design like the Avenger’s did, all the funds they collected went straight into the tech they made and Bucky was sure that’s why they were still around, they had so much money saved that they could pay people to turn their cheek and walk the other way.

As Bucky scanned for something to give away where all the scientists were, his eye met another door in the very corner of the room, it was exactly the same colour of the stone grey walls but the brass door knob caught his eye. All you could hear was the boot of Bucky’s combat boots on the floor, his breath was even scaring him. His hand reached out for the door and when he opened it he found what he was worrying about.

A cell. More specifically: an empty cell.

There were chains hanging from the ceiling, one large cuff, one for what seemed to be used for a neck and then four cuffs for wrists and ankles. Bucky completely forgot where he was, he didn’t remember there was an entire lab behind him, all his mind was throwing at his memories of a cell just like this.

Bucky didn’t remember much about cells in the early days fighting against HYDRA in a cell, in the 40’s. He did, however, remember what it was like to come out of ice when he was needed. The concept of life didn’t exist when he was frozen, it felt like a long blink, it didn’t seem like he’d been asleep for years.

He’d wake up and for a second he was still normal. He’d think it’s cold because it was winter and his house back in the 40’s didn’t have any type of heating system except for a small fireplace, his boots and pants were still on because he got hammered the night before- also explaining the headache -and just fell into bed. All his convincing would go away when his brain would fog again, and he’d look down and catch the shine of his left arm, all at once he’d fall back into place. The dissociating happens after dreams but it came from waking up and not really knowing who he was, as he’d walk to whatever commander was in charge that year he’d ask himself what he was, all the memories and answers in his brain would seem to pull further away, like a word in the tip of his tongue.

He was ripped from his thoughts manually, he thought of you. He thought he was hypnotizing himself when he looked in there at first, too triggered by what he saw to think straight, but he took another moment to look, he saw the chains swinging back and forth ever so slightly.

His stomach dropped, he knew you were still in the room. “Sweetheart?” he called like he always did, “it’s Bucky, we’re gonna get you out of here, come out, baby.” he tried to sound as soothing as possible, he looked under every lab table and every chair.

He flipped through pages on his desk, reading the details of what they did to you. “What is I.C.E.?” Bucky asked himself.

“Injected Complying Enhancement.”

Bucky turned as fast as he could to see you behind him. You were completely naked, body covered in dirt and grime, your hair was hacked and it seemed to have been pulled. Bucky just looked at your body, words were carved into your skin, every single one of them were infected, puss bubbles around the angry red scars. As his eyes trailed up he saw blue on your finger tips, then he reached your face to see a sunken cheekbone and massive cut on your forehead, but nothing compared to a generous piece of your nose hanging on by a thread, the tip was black.

“Baby, do you know me?” Bucky asked through heavy tears, this wasn’t what he was expecting.

You scanned over him, “Sergeant, James Buchanan Barnes, 32557038.”

Right at that moment, he knew you were gone.

Winter Makes Ice tag list: @small-death-and-codeine @commonintrest @buckyys-doll @lil-baby-nor

let me know if you want a tag!

#winter soldier fic #winter soldier oneshot #wintersoldier #winter soldier #sebastian stan #sebastian stan fluff #bucky barnes #bucky #barnes #bucky barns imagine #bucky series #bucky barnes series #bucky fluff #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes angst #bucky angst #bucky love

184 notes · View notes

uelden · 3 years

Text

Vanity Fair interview translated

Just a side note before the actual translation; I don't know why, but instead of reporting the full questions and answers in full as she should, the journalist decided to report only summarized fragments of what Måneskin said and patch these fragments up into messy clusters. She also worded a couple phrases in a very confusing way (and yes, she's fully Italian). In short, she did quite a poor job, so the final shape of the interview is not that good. I didn't expect top-tier journalism from Vanity Fair but ffs. You'll see what I mean.

I translated it as it is, adding just a couple footnotes to give you insight on Italian pop culture references.

Translation under the cut

Måneskin: "Different from whom?"

by Lavinia Farnese, 09 June 2021

"True justice is being judged for what you do and not for what you are." The ones who are convinced of this are Damiano, Victoria, Ethan and Thomas who, by being the emblem of a generation that is finally free, refuse labels and conformism. In life, in love and on the stage. Where, maybe precisely because of this, they're winning everything

With the still unexpected (first place at Sanremo Festival) and the incredible (triumph at Eurovision) in their eyes, Måneskin are on the sofa of the house-studio they rented - to resume writing songs and rehearsing them - like you are after a won battle: lying in a calm and unreal silence, alert and a bit irreverent, happy.

In the garden there's the tennis table and the pool, the light of summer when it's starting and calming the country all around, and it filters inside from the large windows, and it goes onto the shining black of Ethan's hair, which blends with Thomas' eye shadow and the butterfly he has tattooed oh his naked forearm, which completes the picture of Victoria's golden crucifix hanging between neck and tank top and ends on the black nail polish of Damiano's stretched hands.

It's a human fresco, a Theatre of wrath [translator's note: "Teatro d'ira"] - to call it with the title of their latest album, a platinum record already - where their flaunted 20 years of age, their irregular femininity and virility are grown into proud and challenging custom, a pop glam rock generational manifesto of hard-earned liberties in a finally-unconditional expression of the self.

To watch them from any angle and from another age is to think that a great love will be born in those who'll understand: this new way of being in the world, the true and sovereign realm they hold where "diversity=exceptionality", the power of the artistic and cultural revolution of which they are healthy carriers in establishing in all lyrics and gestures the right to live according to one's own nature past the "people (who) talk, the people (who) unfortunately talk, and don't know what the fuck they're talking about." [tn: "Zitti e buoni" lyrics]

We go where we're afloat, where the air isn't gone. [tn: journalist's own variation on "Zitti e buoni" lyrics]

Miley Cyrus says hi – The numbers of a phenomenon

"The streams of Zitti e buoni are growing by the second, and they bring us above Muse, at the top of English charts, twelfth in the Spotify Global Chart. Followers almost tripled, in the post-Rotterdam period (from 1,4 to 3,3 millions, ed.) Contagious and universal folly: t-shirts and merchandising sold out in 10 minutes. Like the records, the tickets for a tour that keeps adding dates and expanding over geographic maps. They're contacting us even from some festivals were The Rolling Stones went." Thomas

"After the pretextual controversy over cocaine that France built against us, later disproven by my drug test, some graffiti popped up in Spain depicting me as a “No drugs” poster guy. Some tweets made us laugh: "Congratulations, Italy! I've never been more certain that four people have had sex with each other." Miley Cyrus started following us -You're great. -You guys are greater." Damiano

From the garage to the stars – Story of a flight

"It was only 2016, and we played in restaurants, in the streets, in via del Corso. Damiano without even a microphone, Thomas' guitar with wonky strings, Ethan was drumming on a cajón. During Rome highschools' sit-ins (Kennedy, Virgilio, Mamiani) we had our first confirmations and half-hours of celebrity, playing among those who criticized us and those who went "wow they're really cool." One of the rare times when they would have paid us – 50 euros each – we gave the money to the next band in the lineup so that they would make us play in their spot, later in the day, when there would have been more people. We had already realized how things worked. Visibility mattered more than money. And we still think that." Victoria

The intimacy of rock – Choice of a genre

"Music allows us the miracle of extending to others some very personal and private topics, sometimes even difficult and thorny ones. They are and they remain deeply your own, but at the same time they become a confession that reaches a wider audience, and in this passage that is alike a delivery, they find a place in you as well, a processing of them. You overcome them, you accept them. One second it's something aggressive, the next it's a ballad. Cathartic». Damiano

Against panic – The stage as therapy

"I've suffered a lot from anxiety and panic attacks, it's an issue I've worked on thanks to a psychotherapy course, my friends and my family. Playing helped me in not letting myself be paralyzed by my fears, not making myself limited in my private and professional life. I've learned to accept, to live with this side of myself. I don't hide it. I don't feel ashamed of it." Victoria

Analysis as necessity – Relying on someone saves you

"This belief that only madmen go to the psychologist is a widespread ignorance. No-one's born learned. [tn: common Italian saying] And it's often hard to understand the very reason why we're here, let alone the origin and direction of our desires. It's a long and legitimate journey towards lucidity, a kind of backing to become transparent." Damiano

Being out of our minds – But different from them [tn: "Zitti e buoni" lyrics]

"When you feel a strong passion towards something that is not a canonical job but an artistic language, that already puts you on a level of anomaly, which is not superior or inferior to other people, but it puts you in the position of the one who breaks the mold and also works at a loss, the one who sustains great risks while trying to do something that who knows if it will take you anywhere. "Why do it if it doesn't pay?". You want to give this dream of yours an aesthetic, but it becomes "You're dressing so weird! You must be gay!" - now that I'm 22 I laugh about it, but when I was 17 it had an effect on me, too." Damiano

The beauty of uniqueness – Of believing in it and defending it

"And I mean, at the end of the day if we're all different it's not because we want be alternative but because, really, no-one is the same. Justice is being judged on what you do and not what you are. Justice is equality, respect, beauty." Ethan

Fluid sexuality – Pride is freedom

"Heels for men that like themselves in them, kisses among ourselves, we have an open, extended mind, and we're proud of it. The horizons become vast, past the oppression of conservative families. With the information on the web knowledge becomes greater and with it the possibility that minorities will be less and less minorities, because the majority will be less of a majority. This way we'll make insults and bullying grow quieter. If social media get to a village of 50 souls and reveal to a girl who's afraid of the dark that someone has felt her same fear, then there's no reason to give a name to that fear, to mark it with labels which also limit and restrict. Definitions always had this effect on me. You shouldn't even consider the gender when judging someone, let alone their orientation." Victoria

Sexism – A culture to be dismantled

"Emma [tn: Emma Marrone, Italian singer] drops the bomb: “At Eurovision when I was there they massacred me for a pair of shorts, while they said nothing to Damiano – bare-chested and in heels.” The easy judgment against women is more fierce, constant, debasing (if I have a lot of sex I'm cool while Vic is a whore, where I show myself strong I'm a leader while Vic is despotic and a pain in the ass who reached success because she's hot.) As a male I'm privileged, the abuse I get is not comparable to those a woman has to live through, the comments over my aesthetic are centered only on my aesthetic and don't insinuate anything about my professionalism and my competence, while women are victims of this kind of thought in a systematic way. It happened though to find myself standing with a woman who while pulling me to herself to take a selfie, started licking my face out of the blue... I mean, what the hell do you want? Who asked you? Consent exists, and it's due." Damiano

Grow yourself – The only commandment

"To me conformism is the opposite of education [tn: could also mean "politeness"] and is the asphyxia of expression. I fortunately never endured heavy bullying, heavy enough for the the judgement of others to change me. But the mold of the small crumbs of bullying I got and of the kind of aggression that scars is the same. If I'm a kid who dances and likes dolls you have to let me do what I like. I was a kid who wanted to keep his hair long and played with Barbie. As a teen, my friends looked at my hair: " You have to find a girl with short hair to be at your side." My grandparents took away my dolls: "Stop it, they're not for you." Ethan

"When I was six I was already sick of them, the distinctions between masculine and feminine. I've always had strong ideas about how I wanted to be. I refused things that were typically defined as girly, and all around me they mocked me because I went skateboarding, I played soccer, I didn't wear skirts, I was giving myself the chance to be as I wished. I endured it a little, I suffered a little, but I had courage, and now thanks to that courage I know that I could have gotten even much more hurt, otherwise I would have left to others the most important choice: the one about myself." Victoria

Love in progress – Music, girlfriends

"I've been married to music for the last 20 years. I can't wait to celebrate our golden wedding anniversary." Ethan

"Everyone makes their own experiences, sometimes it goes well, sometimes it goes wrong, but it's always not anybody's business." Thomas

"When I first felt feelings and attraction towards a girl it was a bit disorienting because I had never had the courage of going beyond the limitations I had put for myself. For society being heterosexual is the norm and so you often define yourself in that way automatically, depriving yourself of the freedom to live many shades and faces of love. Once I overcame the initial insecurity of having to call into question my certainties I've lived my sexuality in a very natural and free way, as it should be for everyone." Victoria

"I had paparazzi at my door every day and night. So, after four years of relationship, I revealed her name. I still have paparazzi at my door every day and nigh, but at least I don't have to hide anything anymore." Damiano

The worth of the group – Phenomenology of protection

"The true engagement though, the true family is among ourselves, our band. We've believed in it since day zero, even before we called ourselves Måneskin (Moonlight in Danish), even before Ethan drew a giant moon on the flier for the first concert we ever did. We share everything, even the pain for the tragedy of Seid Visin, who committed suicide at 20 because of racism. [tn: I think the journalist asked them their opinion about Seid Visin's death, which was a current events topic in Italy, and then pasted it syntaxically in the middle of Thomas' answer, which was not a great move] A group is what we all should be: stay united and not back down an inch in the face of oppression that is generated by a distorted view of diversity." Thomas

I'm not of the right age – Like Gigliola [tn: Gigliola Cinquetti won Eurovision with her song "Non ho l'età", which means "I'm not of the right age"]

"Before you the only one who won both Sanremo and Eurovision on the same year was Cinquetti (1964). If there's anything I feel I'm not of the right age for? No, honestly no. Maybe having children. Regarding children I'll be honest: I'm not of the right age." Damiano

Having touched the sky – The fears that remain

"We're more than inside the dream, we're in the conquered dream. When you fly high there's the risk of plummeting and hurting yourself, but we'll work hard not to end up like Icarus, who burns his wings with the sun. Everything is in our hands. And this - a bit pretentiously - reassures us rather than scaring us." Damiano

#maneskin #måneskin #vanity fair #italian #translation

201 notes · View notes

thevirgodoll · 4 years

Text

Doll Diaries: Reinvention

At some point in your life, you may want to completely reinvent yourself. Reinventing yourself means to change aspects of yourself physically, mentally, or both.

This is also means that you are making progress in your life. Reinvention marks a period of growth, consistent growth.

1. Create a vision for your reinvention.

What does the new you look like? What is the future that you want? Who are the people, situations, and places you may have to leave behind?

Have a vision of who you want to become, and have a reason of why you want to become that.

-> Create a board of your aesthetic and ideas via Pinterest, Pic Collage, or Google Slides.

2. Know who you’re surrounding yourself with.

If you are surrounding yourself with people that are not going to keep it real with you, people that are envious of your success/new endeavors, or people that do not align with your core values, you have to cut them off.

Someone who truly values you as a person will care about the fact that you’re trying to better yourself, and join you along the journey. Letting go of dead weight will be a huge relief.

Remember that you’re your own best friend first, and don’t let anyone hold you back.

3. Express yourself.

This saying rings true. Dress the way the new you would, speak the way the new you would, and do the things the new you would do. Be expressive, be whoever you want to be. There’s no rule saying you can’t consistently change. Life allows you to be a chameleon.

4. Remember that you can become anything.

If you’re overall trying to become more confident as a person, you can become that.

-> Affirm yourself, instead of speaking negatively and affirming your harsh inner critic.

->Keep your back elongated when you walk into a room.

->Speak more articulately and slow down when speaking, pause between sentences. Have clear diction.

->Dress boldly and unapologetically, only for you and no one else.

If you’re trying to become more strong, you can become that.

->Have strict boundaries, and take no shit from anyone.

->Anyone that violates your core beliefs must go. Stand your ground.

->When you are going through a really hard time, get yourself together first and be in tune with your feelings first, don’t fall apart in public.

If you’re trying to become more private, you can become that.

->Learn to speak less about your personal problems.

->Vent to your diary/journal.

->Speak vaguely about what you’re doing and make general statements, make the other person talk about themselves.

If you’re trying to become more attractive, you can become that.

->Always look people in the eye.

->Laugh, smile, be genuine. Don’t push a fake persona.

->Learn that other people do not define you, such confidence is instantly appealing.

->Take care of yourself mentally and physically.

5. Live for yourself.

Ultimately, this journey is your own and no one else’s. Stop worrying so much about other people and what they think. Mute, block, unfollow or take a social media cleanse.

Learn to put yourself first. Reshape your relationship with other people’s expectations.

Don’t owe anyone anything, don’t expect anyone to owe you anything either.

Expectations come from a place of judgment. Judging yourself from a perfectionist eye does you no good. There is too much power in the present moment to dwell on expectations of what should be.

You can’t truly control what others think but you can control your inner critic which is why the way you talk to yourself is so crucial. It can make or break you.

You can also control the access people have in your life. If they refuse to accept your values, then you should distance yourself. Living for yourself is the best thing you can do because you make room for internal validation rather than external.

When you know your own worth, you do things for yourself, and that’s what makes it rewarding.

Always ask yourself the important questions:

What brings me happiness?

What would I love to accomplish?

Am I accepting reality? Am I making changes to my reality? What changes can I make?

What values are important to me?

Growth does not stop, it’s continuous. Your standards will continue to grow with you.

Your goal is to live a life you are proud of.

Taking appropriate risks outside of your comfort zone, upholding your boundaries and core values, competing with yourself to do your very best, and acknowledging that the process is what matters, not simply the end result.

Make this journey private and sacred, and transform with or without people alongside.

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for wanting to create yourself over and over. You are your own artist.

Focus in on who you are now, and who you are becoming.

I hope this inspires you!

xoxo, thevirgodoll♡

#requested #dolldiaries #advice #reinventing yourself #reinvention

3K notes · View notes

astrolology · 4 years

Text

The Love-Hate Relationship with Stelliums (Pt. 1) ✨

Guysss pls remember that astrology is holistic and this should be read taking into account your overall chart placements, as well as the planets in your stellium and what sign rules your stellium. TAKE NOTE lol

1st house

❤️: You may be a person who is very driven towards a particular goal, single-minded in behavior and with a sense of determination that is hard to beat. The focus is on self-improvement and is rather internally driven - there can be large amounts of time focused on figuring one’s identity out. You’re not afraid to say things as they are - you’re able to dish out criticism hard but you give credit when its due. You extend the courtesy you receive to others. You may have an innate sense of wisdom that you keep deep within that you don’t let slip unless to extremely close ones but in times of hardship you are a good source of motivation. You always seek to improve yourself and it’s hard (if not impossible) to drag you down because of your strong personality and how you tend to always move on no matter what. I think 1st house stelliums are the embodiment of “don’t look back” and y’all always try to make the best out of every best situation, sort of like seeing the silver lining in everything. And also when crises emerge you’re able to keep a calm head on your shoulders and are good at making snap decisions, which makes you good on your feet!

👹: I don’t think y’all are as self-absorbed as ppl make you out to be but there’s definitely an element of self-centredness such that when you do something, you often consider what is most convenient or productive for you. You might get upset when your plans are disrupted but sometimes do the same to others even though you might be aware of what you’re doing - in that aspect, 1st house stelliums can be hypocritical. For you, there is never enough - you’re never satisfied with anything, be it yourself or for other things so you can seem really unappreciative. Keep in mind that you also tend to force others to agree with you and don’t be so quick to dismiss the other party’s POV no matter how dumb it seems. Remember that there’s always something to learn from other people, no matter their status. You need to work on expressing your appreciation to others in a more genuine manner (altho I know y’all do it in gruff, slightly awkward ways when sincere - kinda cute ngl).

2nd house

❤️: You may be a person who has a strong moral code and has a staunch value system that you won’t deviate from no matter what. Sense of loyalty is usually unbreakable and it can take a lot to truly anger you. You can have a good financial sense and good instincts/foresight that allow you to plan ahead for stability’s sake. More often than not in certain areas you are a master of categorising and structuring things which means that your mind is analytical, critical and (usually) organised. You hate it when people think they know you because you (understandably) know yourself the best - there are many privatised layers of yourself that you prefer to keep... private so yeah it just annoys you when that happens. Y’all are a leader in certain aspects of your life and even though 2nd house stelliums tend to prefer being the right-hand man, your control freak tendencies come out and you end up leading anyway. You become really productive because of the fear of failure - you have crazy high expectations for yourself and expect the same of your closed ones (although ultimately you’ll support them in whatever they do). There is an appreciation for the finer things in life and when it comes to your loved ones you’re not afraid to spoil them hard.

👹: Be careful not to let this driving need for stability restrict you from spontaneity and following your heart’s desire. There is an inherent inflexibility in your nature; stubbornness can really be your kryptonite. You don’t really take any opportunities that you think might threaten your security which, while giving you a stable fort, can hold you back in your own happiness + prosperity. You might realise that there is a limit to your perspective but really struggle in seeing outside of that perspective mainly because you spend so much time thinking about what matters to you that you’ve become accustomed to your train of thought (altho when you do break it it’s lowkey groundbreaking). The focus on this house is on stability, not only on material wealth, so while you may be reaping in one aspect you might tend to lack on the spiritual or emotional elements of life. You can be very, very controlling and demanding so you might want to tone it down a little if not people might get the wrong impression. People might think of you as judgemental (and you are tbh) but I believe it’s just 2nd house stellium’s way of assessing a person’s character/abilities.

3rd house

❤️: You may be a person who puts in a lot of effort into various forms of self-expression (not limited to verbal communication but also finding a specific niche such as music, art, writing etc.) Your brain is naturally sharp and inquisitive and you may be able to pick things up very quickly. You might be rather adaptable but are surprisingly stubborn when it comes to your opinion or intellectual capabilities. You might have a dark/dirty sense of humor and because of that you also have a keen ability to see past the societal nuances of propriety and get to the heart/root of whatever a person is saying. You can spend your entire life trying to understand people and why things work the way they work - your brain needs to be stimulated in order for you to feel alive. Passion for you has to be applied in a productive manner - you probably aren’t a person to just take a passion for something as a mere hobby. Rather, you would either apply that passion to one of your existing projects, create a new one or use it as a motivating factor. Your interests are wide and varied, which makes you really well-rounded in certain aspects!

👹: Many people say y’all are flighty beings and I can certainly see why they would think so. Because of your perceptiveness, you tend to change your narrative whenever you’re speaking to different people, so as to make yourself sound more convincing. In that aspect, you can be quite manipulative. Your ego probably isn’t the smallest either haha - you can tolerate being slighted at some things but if it’s a challenge to one of your passion projects you’ll probably become very upset. You need to stop giving people the hot and cold shoulder all the time and even though you’re quite sociable you tend to flaunt but hide your true thoughts. You have to be more open and honest in your self-expression, and not that idealised, constructed version of yourself you think people will find interesting. I’ve noticed that 3rd house stellium ppl have an obsessive need to “stand out” and make themselves feel unique which, despite all your charms and popularity, might be the reason why you find yourself sometimes so isolated. You’re a perfectionist (although you would deny it) and secretly quite controlling but unlike other stelliums you can manage it better I feel.

4th house

❤️: There is a pressing insistence regarding relationships in your inner circle - be it your family, closest friends, or your future family. Extended focus on your cultural heritage can also be possible. Deep down, compassion is at your core and you are very protective of your friends in a silent but aggressive way. Having a stable family life is very important to you but I’ve noticed that more often than not, 4th house stelliums have turbulent family relationships. The beauty of 4th house stelliums is their ability to break through whatever toxic relationships they’ve been in and to create families of their own - be it unconventional or not. They are the epitome of “we choose our own families”. Y’all can be very empathetic and rather selfless to the point where you allow yourself to be manipulated (even though you’re aware of it) - but it’s usually for a justifiable reason. You find it easier than most to balance the emotional landscape but there are moments where you need an outlet to express yourself. There can be an obsession/possessiveness over your own culture - you take pride in your roots and become lowkey insulted when people disrespect it (and if you don’t, you somehow nearly always manage to find some other culture to assimilate yourself in).

👹: Y’all probably get very upset when things don’t go your way but the problem with this stellium is that there is a want to speak out but you choose to bury everything inside instead - giving you a very passive-aggressive and even aloof image. Internally, you guys might think that you are giving off a very soft/giving aura but some people are wary precisely because you are hard to read. You are very, intensely private (rivalling 2nd/7th house tbh) and you have to learn how to share your true thoughts, no bullshit, no suger-coated thoughts with your family and dearest friends even though you are capable of handling yourself. You are independent, ambitious, and people often underestimate you, but you have to let people in first in order for them to know what you’re capable of! Also, idealisation of certain things (eg. a future family life/partner) can be prevalent and you overthink things to the point where sometimes you make yourself miserable. Again, please talk to someone hahaha you don’t have to deal with everything yourself.

5th house

❤️: Insecurity runs rampant in any 5th house stellium BUT y’all are quite paradoxical in a sense that you also have a very strong aura of confidence. Sometimes, in crucial moments, you manage to convince yourself and others that you are the most important person in the room haha - literally the epitome of “fake it till you make it”. Still, a deeply rooted kindness is found in 5th house stelliums such that you’re always looking out for the underdog in the room. If you are developed you probably have a strong sense of righteousness which prompts you to look out for people who might be struggling. Y’all are very concerned about your physical appearance and most of the time you like to keep your body in good shape, which draws the attention of people in the room. You likely have an infectious smile (this is just a hunch but I don’t believe 5th house stelliums smile a lot - y’all quirk your lips or smirk but a true smile is rare so when you do... it melts the hearts of people). Everything that you do will have a youthful flavor and you have a healthy appreciation for downtime/self-care so while you might not (contrary to popular belief) be that fond of kids, kids are attracted to you. Oh and actually I think the stronger this stellium is in a person, the shyer the person seems at first impression but inwardly and as time goes by, they become more humorous and dramatic.

👹: You aren’t exactly manipulative, but you know how to use the power of suggestion (and your charms) to get what you want. If unchecked, it’ll become a habit because to you, it’s an instinctive thing to do and you might not realise you’re hurting other people because of it. You are stubborn and prideful (which isn’t a bad thing sometimes but) you take criticism quite badly such that if a person tries to offer their opinion or goes against your beliefs, you might take it as a personal attack. You have a fear of being restrained/constricted (like 9th house) so you’re actually quite aggressive to those who you perceive to be a threat to your authority. You can also experience extreme mood swings (from crazy happy/hyper to melancholic in a snap) and when you do you expect people to give you attention. But you are hypocritical in this aspect because you yourself can be quite insensitive to other people’s feelings, or you brush them off if you’re not “in the mood”.

6th house

❤️: You are most probably quite an organised person, not in a tidy way (although you could be) but in matters of life there’s an insistence on order and structure. The way you think can be very logical - you are able to think concisely and connect the dots in a quick manner and logic is probably prevalent in everything you do. However, in contrast to this pragmatic behavior, you are deeply caring and you won’t think twice to give up something if a loved one needs it. You are very disciplined in certain aspects of life and you are able to maintain a consistent effort in everything that you do. You’re probably someone who finds joy in small things and although you have high standards, it doesn’t take much to make you happy, as long as it’s genuine. You can be a perfectionist and really quite meticulous in your work which makes you someone who is detail-orientated. You give a lot of yourself to other people and most of the time you don’t expect anything in return, which is one of the great things about 6th house stelliums. You take effort into maintaining your physical health and you mighttt be a fitness freak or someone who keeps track of their diet really carefully. It’s likely that you encourage other people to follow your lifestyle and generally, you exert a sort of mellow influence around other people that makes them want to be better.

👹: There’s a tendency for 6th house stelliums to fall into pessimism, precisely because of your pragmatic nature. Y’all may say that you’re being “realistic” but in actuality it does dampen the spirits of some people. You can also become really unreasonable and inflexible once you’ve made up your mind on something and that makes you a bit narrow minded because you simply refuse to listen to other people’s POV. This can also cause tunnel vision which can really limit your full potential and I think it’s something worth spending your time working on. When pushed into a corner or feeling insecure, y’all might try to cover it up by being condescending or giving the cold shoulder. There’s also a risk of being overly reliant on a schedule/structure and hence, cautiousness when it comes to being spontaneous or embracing something foreign. Because of your affinity towards maintaining health, your hypochondriac tendencies may be exacerbated and you need to try to lessen your over-worrying behaviour haha. Although you never dish out something you can’t receive (eg. high expectations - you’re truly your worst critic), your demanding tone can really make others cautious of you.

OVERALL, I strongly believe that the way to embrace your stelliums isn’t to reject or force yourself to change the values they represent, but rather taking those eccentricities and moulding it into something more precious and beneficial to yourself. It has to be done with a thorough understanding of yourself; with patience.

-C

#astrology #astro notes #astro observations #1st house stellium #2nd house stellium #3rd house stellium #4th house stellium #5th house stellium #6th house stellium

1K notes · View notes

tlbodine · 3 years

Text

The Horror Genius of Five Nights At Freddy’s

I’ve been playing FNAF: Help Wanted VR on my Oculus Quest lately (a birthday present to myself -- I know I’m late to that party!) and it’s reignited in me my old love of this series. I know Scott Cawthon’s politics aren’t great, but I don’t think there’s any malice in his heart beyond usual Christian conservative nonsense -- and I think he stepped down as graciously and magnanimously as possible when confronted about it. Time will judge Scott Cawthon’s politics, and that’s not what I’m here to talk about. I want to talk about what makes these games so damn special, from a horror, design, and marketing perspective. I think there’s really SO MUCH to be learned from studying these games and the wider influence they’ve had as intellectual property.

What Is FNAF?

In case you’ve somehow been living under a rock for the last seven years, Five Nights At Freddy’s (hereafter, FNAF) is a horror franchise spanning 17 games (10 main games + some spinoffs and troll games, we’ll get to that), 27 books, a movie deal, and a couple live-action attractions.

But before it exploded into that kind of tremendous IP, it started out as a single indie pont-and-click game created entirely by one dude, Scott Cawthon. Cawthon had developed other games in the past without much fame or success, including some Christian children’s entertainment. He was working as a cashier at Dollar General and making games in his spare time -- and most of those games got panned.

So he tried making something different.

After being criticized that the characters in one of his children’s games looked like soulless, creepy animatronics, Cawthon had his lightbulb moment and created a horror game centered on....creepy animatronics!

The rest, as they say, is history.

The Genius of FNAF’s Horror Elements

In the first FNAF game, you play as a night security guard at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza, a sort of ersatz Chuck-E-Cheese establishment. The animatronics are on free-roaming mode at night, but you don’t want to let them find you in your security room so you have to watch them move through the building on security camera monitors. If they get too close, you can slam your security room doors closed. But be careful, because this restaurant operates on a shoestring budget, and the power will go off if you keep the doors closed too long or flicker the lights too often. And once the lights go out, you’re helpless against the animatronics in the dark.

Guiding you through your gameplay is a fellow employee, Phone Guy, who calls you each night with some helpful advice. Phone Guy is voiced by Cawthon himself, and listening to his tapes gives you some hints of the game’s underlying story as well as telling you how to play. A few newspaper clippings and other bits of scrap material help to fill in more details of the story.

Over the next set of games, the story would be further developed, with each new game introducing new mechanics and variations on the theme -- in one, you don a mask to slip past the notice of animatronics; in another, you have to play sound cues to lure an animatronic away from you. By the fourth game, the setup was changed completely, now featuring a child with a flashlight hiding from the monsters outside his door -- nightmarish versions of the beloved child-friendly mascots. The mechanics change just enough between variations to keep things fresh while maintaining a consistent brand.

There are so many things these games do well from a storytelling and horror perspective:

Jump Scares: It’s easy to shrug these games off for relying heavily on jump scares, and they absolutely do have a lot of them. But they’re used strategically. In most games, the jump scares are a punishment (a controlled shock, if you will) -- if you play the game perfectly, you’ll never be jump-scared. This is an important design choice that a lot of other horror games don’t follow.

Atmospheric Dread: These games absolutely deliver horror and tension through every element of design -- some more than others, admittedly. But a combination of sound cues, the overall texture and aesthetic of the world, the “things move when you’re not looking at them” mechanic, all of it works together to create a feeling of unease and paranoia.

Paranoia: As in most survival horror games, you’re at a disadvantage. You can’t move or defend yourself, really -- all you can do is watch. And so watch you do. Except it’s a false sense of security, because flicking lights and checking cameras uses up precious resources, putting you at greater risk. So you have to balance your compulsive need to check, double-check, and make sure...with methodical resource conservation. The best way to survive these games is to remain calm and focused. It’s a brilliant design choice.

Visceral Horror: The monster design of the animatronics is absolutely delightful, and there’s a whole range of them to choose from. The sheer size and weight of the creatures, the way they move and position themselves, their grunginess, the deadness of their eyes, the quantity and prominence of their teeth. They are simultaneously adorable and horrifying.

Implicit Horror: One of the greatest strengths to FNAF as a franchise is that it never wears its story on its sleeve. Instead of outright telling you what’s going on, the story is delivered in bits and pieces that you have to put together yourself -- creating a puzzle for an engaged player to think about and theorize over and consider long after the game is done. But more than that, the nature of the horror itself is such that it becomes increasingly upsetting the more you think on it. The implications of what’s going on in the game world -- that there are decaying bodies tucked away inside mascots that continue to perform for children, that a man dressed in a costume is luring kids away into a private room to kill them, and so forth -- are the epitome of fridge horror.

The FNAF lore does admittedly start to become fairly ridiculous and convoluted as the franchise wears on. But even ret-conned material manages to be pretty interesting in its own right (and there is nothing in the world keeping you from playing the first four games, or even the first six, and pretending none of the rest exist).

Another thing I really appreciate about the FNAF franchise is that it’s quite funny, in a way that complements and underscores the horror rather than detracting from it. It’s something a lot of other properties utterly fail to do.

The Genius of Scott Cawthon’s Marketing

OK, so FNAF utilizes a multi-prong attack for creating horror and implements it well -- big deal. Why did it explode into a massive IP sensation when other indie horror games that are just as well-made barely made a blip on the radar?

Well! That’s where the real genius comes in. This game was built and marketed in a way to maximize its franchisability.

First, the story utilizes instantly identifiable, simple but effective character designs, and then generates more and more instantly identifiable unique characters with each iteration. Having a wealth of characters and clever, unique designs basically paves the way for merchandise and fan-works. (That they’re anthropomorphic animal designs also probably helped -- because that taps into the furry fandom as well without completely alienating non-furries).

Speaking of fan-work, Scott Cawthon has always been very supportive of fandom, only taking action when people would try to profit off knock-off games and that sort of thing -- basically bad-faith copies. But as far as I know he’s always been super chill with fan-created content, even going so far as to engage directly with the fandom. Which brings me to....

These games were practically designed for streaming, and he took care to deliver them into the hands of influential streamers. Because the games are heavy on jump-scares and scale in difficulty (even including extra-challenging modes after the core game is beaten) they are extremely fun to watch people play. They’re short enough to be easily finished over the duration of a long stream, and they’re episodic -- lending themselves perfectly to a YouTube Lets Play format. One Night = One Video, and now the streamer has weeks of content from your game (but viewers can jump in at any time without really missing much).

The games are kid-friendly but also genuinely frightening. Because the most disturbing parts of the game’s lore are hinted at rather than made explicit, younger players can easily engage with the game on a more basic surface level, and others can go as deep into the lore as they feel comfortable. There is no blood and gore and violence or even any explicitly stated death in the main game; all of the murder and death is portrayed obliquely by way of 8-bit mini games and tangential references. Making this game terrifying but accessible to youngsters, and then marketing it directly to younger viewers through popular streamers (and later, merchandising deals) is genius -- because it creates a very broad potential audience, and kids tend to spend 100% of their money (birthdays, allowances, etc.) and are most likely to tell their friends about this super scary game, etc. etc.

By creating a puzzle box of lore, and then interacting directly with the fandom -- dropping hints, trolling, essentially creating an ARG of his own lore through his website, in-game easter eggs, and tie-in materials -- Cawthon created a mystery for fandom to solve. And fans LOVE endlessly speculating over convoluted theories.

Cawthon released these games FAST. He dropped FNAF 2 within months of the first game’s release, and kept up a pace of 1-2 games a year ever since. This steady output ensured the games never dropped out of public consciousness -- and introducing new puzzle pieces for the lore-hungry fans to pore over helped keep the discussion going.

I think MatPat and The Game Theorists owe a tremendous amount of their own huge success to this game. I think Markiplier does, too, and other big streamers and YouTubers. It’s been fascinating watching the symbiotic relationship between these games and the people who make content about these games. Obviously that’s true for a lot of fandom -- but FNAF feels so special because it really did start so small. It’s a true rags-to-riches sleeper hit and luck absolutely played a role in its growth, but skill is a big part too.

Take-Aways For Creatives

I want to be very clear here: I do not think that every piece of media needs to be “IP,” franchisable, an extended universe, or a multimedia sensation. I think there is plenty to be said for creating art of all types, and sometimes that means a standalone story with a small audience.

But if you do want a chance at real break-out, run-away success and forging a media empire of your own, I think there are some take-aways to be learned from the success of FNAF:

Persistence. Scott Cawthon studied animation and game-design in the 1990s and released his first game in 2002. He released a bunch of stuff afterward. None of it stuck. It took 12 years to hit on the winning formula, and then another several years of incredibly hard work to push out more titles and stoke the fires before it really became a sensation. Wherever you’re at on your creative journey, don’t give up. You never know when your next thing will be The Thing that breaks you out.

If you want to sell a lot of something, you have to make it widely appealing to a bunch of people. This means keeping your concept simple to understand (”security guard wards off creepy killer animatronics at a pizza parlor”) and appealing to as wide a segment of the market as you can (ie, a horror story that appeals to both kids and adults). The more hyper-specific your audience, the harder it’s gonna be to find them and the fewer copies of your thing you’ll be selling.

Know your shit and put your best work out there. I think there’s an impulse to feel like “well, nobody reads this anyway, so why does it matter if it’s no good” (I certainly have fallen into that on multiple occasions) but that’s the wrong way to think about it. You never know when and where your break will come. Put your best work out there and keep on polishing your craft with better and better stuff because eventually one of those things you chuck out there is going to be The Thing.

Figure out where your target audience hangs out, and who influences them, and then get your thing in the hands of those influencers. Streaming and YouTube were the secret to FNAF’s success. Maybe yours will be BookTube, or Instagram, or a secret cabal of free librarians. I don’t know. But you should try your best to figure out who would like the thing that you’re making, and then figure out how to reach those people, and put all of your energy into that instead of shotgun-blasting your marketing all willy nilly.

You don’t have to put the whole story on the page. Audiences love puzzles. Fans love mysteries. You can actually leave a lot more unanswered than you think. There’s some value in keeping secrets and leaving things for others to fill in. Remember -- your art is only partly yours. The sandbox belongs to others to play in, too, and you have to let them do that.

If in doubt, appealing to furries never hurts.

Do I take all of this advice myself? Not by a long shot. But it’s definitely a lot to think about.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go beat The Curse of Dreadbear.

#horror analysis #writing advice #fnaf

26 notes · View notes

thecharlestonroyalfamily · 3 years

Text

Here’s the thing about the royal simblr drama..

So I feel like I’m a fairly neutral party in the middle of all this drama (kinda fitting considering that’s what I build my nation as as well). I know and have worked on my story both with the people accused and those who haven’t. All of them are lovely people who I’ve enjoyed working with and who gave me no hard time. Now sadly I’ve found out that this isn't the case for everyone. However as I too care about this community I want to help and make it a better place.

Here are some points of observation from someone with years of studying and first hand experience in psychology about the situation: (It’s a long post)

1. The “cliques”. Now we as humans naturally tend to form “cliques”; groups of like minded people who we share interests with. This is completely normal and nothing to be ashamed off. And we as people also tend to not get along with everyone. This too is also fine and completely normal. It is completely okay and acceptable to vent about people/things/concepts you don’t like or find annoying to your friends. We all do it. Yes, even as adults, cause guess what we don’t all get along and that is fine. Is this an excuse to treat someone like shit? No and that’s where the problem begins.

2. Power corrupts. Shortly when we as humans are placed in a position of power aka a situation where we feel we have the upper hand or are in some form “above” others it gets to our heads (take the 1971 Stanford Prison Experiment as an example). Now I’m not saying that these people necessarily think themselves better, I’m saying that with bigger follower number and more influence your behavior might change. Maybe they don’t even consider themselves being mean or gatekeeping.

3. Original ideas. There is no such thing as an original idea. All of us have had our stories inspired by other stories, real or fiction, to some extend. However this does NOT mean you can flat out copy someone else’s storyline. But what is counted as copying? If you take another creators scene, plotline, etc. and add it your story without making any or barely any changes THEN you’re copying. “But I have a scene just like XXX and now I’m being blamed for copying.” If you didn’t intentionally do it, it’s not malicious copying and you can still fix it. If you’re unsure talk it over with the other blog and/or just re-take the pictures from a different angle or re-write dialogue. Being inspired by others if fine! Just know and learn the difference between inspiration and copying.

4. Gatekeeping. Now this is a tad tricky. You see those who first started telling royal simblr stories, and in doing so created this community, might have had or might still have ideas and wishes for what this community looks like. However since this community is this large it’s simply impossible to have those wished granted. We all have different sets of skills and amount of time to put into our stories. While to some this is like making their own book or tv show, others just want to take pretty pictures of sims in grand palaces and tiaras. Both of these approaches are fine and valid! The problem is that when you hold something in high value to yourself and see someone else just “mess around” with it you feel hurt. How can they not take this seriously?! But the thing is they are, just as you. They just have a different set of goals and motivation for their story. Not every book is a bestseller and that is okay.

5. False positivity. False positivity helps no one however there’s a difference between being falsely positive and being supportive. The main difference? What you wanted out of the conversation. A person looking for criticism to improve their work does not want or benefit from just supportive comments alone! If that’s all they get they’ll get frustrated and that’s where bad feeling towards other start. Same thing other other side, a person looking for encouragement does not want criticism! What they need is your thumbs up emojis and a few positive words. If they get unasked for critique they don’t receive it as such, to them it’s easily just bullying.

How to fix the situation:

Now please note that these are just MY individual ideas. There’s no simple solution to this and it surely doesn’t happen over night but change can be made.

1. Make two separate channels on the server; CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISISM and ENGOURAGEMENT. Those looking for support can choose which variety they want and need. Now this also means that if you go to the criticism channel that’s what you’ll get! Everyone needs to take personal responsibility on this and not go on the channels they don’t want. If you don’t want criticism from complete strangers DM a friend, or ask a specific creator if they’d have the time to give you critique.

2. Own what you’ve said, and apologize. Those that have said mean words need to own up to them, apologize from the individuals affected and stop. Private messages shared between friends is fine (it’s human nature), however if your discussions revolve around judging and/or belittling others you might want to reconsider. Also if you’re not directly involved or asked keep your opinions to yourself. No one likes unsolicited comments.

3. NO MORE GATEKEEPING! Now this is should be obvious to everyone. This is a community which means people are going to do things differently. Don’t follow blogs who’s stories you’re not interested in. Don’t send anon hate cause you don’t like what they do. Unlearn the idea that there’s only one way to tell a royal simblr story. If you can’t do that, grow up.

4. Say no. If you don’t want to collab with someone say no. Seriously. Going around this will only create more behind the scenes trash talking. And if you’re told no, accept it. Most of us are adults, we can or at least should be able to handle a no. It sucks when the other person doesn’t share our enthusiasm for an idea but that happens. With so many stories out there sadly not all of them are going to align. Luckily we’re a big community so the odds that someone out there likes your idea is quite large! Which brings me to the last point 5. Keep an open mind. As said we’re a big community of different people from all over the world. We come from multiple ethnicities, religions and countries, we’re individuals of different sexualities and genders. We all have our own set of ideals and ideas we’d like to see. We’re storytellers and readers, weavers of massive intricate worlds, or people who just like to keep it simple. Our difference is a richness. You might not like every idea but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad idea. Let people be and do their thing.

So that’s it for me. I hope I didn’t cross any lines with this. Thank you for taking the time to read what has been the longest Ani’s rambling ever. Let’s work towards a more healthy and welcoming community. My asks and anons are on.

Love, Ani

#royal simblr #ani's ramblings

39 notes · View notes

primergon · 3 years

Note

Hello! I’m Vic and I was wondering about a possible matchup!

I’m 24, afab non-binary, ENFP, 5’11, and straight (I think lmao)

Personality wise, I’d definitely describe myself as very chaotic and all over the place-don’t give me any logistic-heavy jobs, or we’ll both have a bad time. I’m an artist and I take great pleasure in telling stories and creating, especially if what I make can brighten someone’s day.

I value kindness very highly and I’m fiercely protective of the people I love, sometimes at the cost of my well being (but I’m working on that) I’ve been told that I have a very strong moral compass, but that can turn into black and white thinking at times. I’m definitely a work in progress as a person, but that’s okay! I’m definitely a very emotional person, and sometimes my feelings control me more than I control them.

Other than art, I love many topics, such as zoology, natural history, science communication, and translation with a dash of linguistics sprinkled in. I love spending time with both animals and the humans I love, but I’m not opposed to a quiet evening in. I’d generally describe myself as an ambivert. I really value active listeners and people who return the energy I give to them. I love when the person I’m talking to and I can bounce ideas off of each other. Also, I’m very physically affectionate, give me a chance and I WILL smother you with hugs. I hope this is enough to go off of!! Thank you!

Hello Vic! I hope you're well :) Thanks for asking and sorry for the wait ! Sadly I didn't finish cyberverse and so I'm not well acquainted with their characters. So I hope you don't mind if I give you two IDW matchups to make up for it <3 I think I'll match you up with Prowl and Rung from IDW / MTMTE!

PROWL IDW

01| Opposites attract is a questionable phrase. That was until Prowl met you. There was this natural curiosity that drew him to you, no matter how much he tries to deny it. Finally, Prowl gave in and realised that you both complete one another. All this time Prowl's been looking for a sense of balance, and he found it in the way you smiled at him.

02| Prowl is rational to the point of what most would call cruel. He's overly critical of everything and this thinking pattern can sometimes frustrate him. You were like a way out of a very dark room, and even if he doesn't say it often, he appreciates your creative and empathic way of thinking. While his focus is singular: intense and deep, yours is broad: extending to numerous possibilities that allow him to better achieve his goals. He thinks highly of you, knowing that even if he won't say it out loud, he has a lot to learn from you.

03| One of the things that he loves about you is your kindness. The idea that your generosity extends to someone like him, warms his spark. He knows he's difficult. In the early stages of your relationship, Prowl struggled to understand what’s going on and how to behave. Yet you made him want to try, and Primus knows he did. Prowl may be subtle about his affections, but you know he cares. From the way, you'd always wake up from your accidental nap by your desk with a blanket around you to the way Prowl always insists on taking you everywhere in his cab.

04| While you help Prowl be kinder to those around him, he helps you learn how to be kinder to yourself. He knows your generosity can sometimes drain you, especially when you're still learning how to put yourself first. If you don't have the strength to say no, Prowl is always more than happy and ready to say it for you. One time you were overwhelmed by the crowd trying to talk with you at Maccadams. It's late and your social battery was running low. You desperately needed a way out of Blurr's ecstatic chatter. Prowl had immediately whisked you away and drove you home, not before scolding the others for bothering his partner. It was endearing, even if everyone showed up at your bar the next day to apologize.

05| Arguments would sometimes arise between you and Prowl and whenever it does, it's usually because you don't agree to his methods. Your heart knows it's not right, yet nearly everything Prowl does is morally questionable. It takes time to find a common ground, especially between two people who are respectively sentimental and detached. Yet you always do. Always. It's because as arrogant and hard-headed Prowl is, he's also versatile and persevering. He doesn't care if it'll take you days or even weeks to find a win-win solution. For the first time in a long time, Prowl is making room for another person in his life. These days it's never about what he wants, it's rather about what you both want. As difficult as it can get, he has never felt happier.

06| Prowl is very dense when it comes to physical affection. One time you hold your hand out to him and he placed a data pad on top of it. He's not big on public displays of affection, Primus knows the moment Prowl hugs you at work is the day Unicron decides to wake up from his millennia-old nap. Yet in private, your affection is infectious enough to make him almost clingy. He would spoon you while you sleep or even hold your hand when he's having his morning Energon. You never question him about it knowing he'll deny even liking it, but it's nice to see someone who flips tables for a living be this gentle with you.

IDW RUNG

01| The first person to truly welcome you aboard the Lost Light was Rung. In the beginning, he was hesitant to let your relationship blossom into anything other than professional. Yet he can't deny his attraction. Lately, he loves watching you throw your head back to laugh at one of Swerve's jokes, and he finds himself wondering how your hands would feel against his. For the first time in a while, Rung wants to be a little selfish. Surely, it won't hurt to ask you out for dinner in his quarters. Looking back, he thinks it's one of the best decisions he's ever made.

02| He was moved by the fierce love you had for your friends. Rung fell in love with your courage in defending those you care about( you were ready to fight Sunder head-on for him.) While your kindness was admirable, he reminds you to take care of yourself better. He helps you put yourself first. " You won't be any good to anyone hurt my dear."

03| Rung is sensitive, thoughtful, and idealistic, and prefers relationships that help him grow and develop. He seeks deep and meaningful connections and strives to understand what drives the people he cares about and help them be their best selves. Even if it takes a little longer for Rung to warm up and let someone in, he is very focused on building that emotional connection with you. While he helps you keep your emotions in check you gave him an outlet to express his.

04| Your relationship has great potential for a close and caring connection. You and Rung share many commonalities in how you think and approach life. You both have a compassionate and idealistic nature, and even if you disagree on some things, you'll likely feel that when it comes to the important stuff, you're on the same page. It makes conversations interesting and never boring, and it keeps arguments to a minimum. When it comes to Rung as a partner, there's always a solution to everything.

05 | Rung respects your personal space and understands that you need time for yourself. Often he'll let you into his office so you can lounge on his couch while he assembles his latest model of ships, the silence was more than comforting for the two of you. He'd listen fondly to your work and engage in conversations, taking genuine in your story. Rung finds it endearing when you ramble on about science and communication, jumping from one topic to one another, your excitement is enough to make him fall for you all over again.

06 | Affection is something Rung desperately needs. Often people only come to him because they need something. He was a giver who never asks for anything in return, and sometimes, it gets lonely. Therefore he appreciates how expressive you are with your love. He gets flustered from all the kisses and hugs you give him, and he feels giddy like a young mech whenever you go to hold his hand in public. ( Whirl would always joke about " no pre-marital hand-holding " which would fluster him even more. ) Rung's faceplates would always heat up, his bashful expression enough to make you want to smother him even more. He retaliates by opening his glasses to reveal his optics, it's safe to say that you were always stunned silent at their beauty.

I hope you enjoyed this Vic ! xx

32 notes · View notes

pear-pies · 3 years

Photo

Placebo in Rock & Folk magazine - April 2003

Words by Jerome Soligny, photos by Carole Epinette

Wonky translation under the cut:

These three did it all. Shot with the QOTSAs and posed with Indo. They survived "Velvet Goldmine" and the Top Bab. They come back after the ordeal of the fourth album. Danger interview: “Jerome, what if you came out?” They ask our charming reporter.

"We do not regret anything"

Everything begins again with "Bulletproof Cupid", a punky instrument that pulls everything off. Then "English Summer Rein", mechanico-depressive spinning punctuated by twisted keyboards, and "Sleeping With Ghosts", the lament which advances while blistering during cooking, confirm the tone. Against all expectations, because you never know how will age the groups that the previous album installed at the Top, Placebo took over. And stuffed it in an iron glove. Further on, "The Bitter End" tumbles through yapping guitars which would stick to the hatches the thickest of the sailors. Be careful, Placebo is on the way out of being one. At the end of the record, Brian Molko, Stefan Olsdal and Steve Hewitt do not even run out of steam. The cows. They drop a "Centerfolds" which frolic like a cynical top under a shower of saving doubts. What augur still other perspectives.

The fourth album: a horror for all who have faced it. Often a stupid trap. Returning from the Gothic directly inherited from the glam of pageantry and from these hasty and harmful certainties which congest the face and the veins, Placebo publishes its first real great disc. Oh, not the marvel of wonders, not the album from the third millennium, but something very strong, compact, tenacious in listening, which proves that the future is indeed there, in front, where the light is most blinding. Calfeucée in their Parisian hotel (the Costes, of course), our three lads do not make the blow of the revelation, of the luminous questioning. Simply, they now think with their heads, a good plan most often Likewise, reality no longer frightens them, and it is probably she who is hiding behind this "Sleeping With Ghosts" which relates the sorrows only for the better. melt into hopes At the moment when rock brings us back to life and when we just want to ask them everything, the Placebo have decided to say everything. Not even in a hurry, they settle down on the couch, ready to talk like never before. Despite new batteries embedded in the carcass, the Panasonic barely a Brian Molko: Hey Jerome, you came to talk to us this time when you had not come to the previous album ...

Rock & Folk: Uh yes but I was there for the first two, that says a lot, right?

Brian Molko: Certainly, I also believe that over time, we finally appreciate the true nature of the problem: we were mainly criticized for the sound of the previous album, which I can understand but, paradoxically, it is the one that brought us to the Top.

R&F: Legitimately, we have the right to expect a lot from the people we love: while "Black Market Music" sounded a bit like a sequel, this new record is all about a renaissance.

Brian Molko: Actually, we were finally able to live a little. After having existed in a small bubble for a very long time, we forced ourselves to take an eight-month break. The album-tour rhythm put us on the sidelines: we no longer had normal contact with anything. We were losing ourselves. We have fully lived the old cliché which claims that we spend the first years of our life writing a first record and six months on the second. It turned out to be very true. We had to get back to the situation of the first album, see friends, go shopping, look at the buildings in our city.

R&F: So the freshness would come from there ...

Brian Molko: Yes, and it was essential spiritually, emotionally and physically.

Steve Hewitt: We had to be in tune with reality again.

Brian Molko: In fact, we find ourselves in a bit of the same state of mind as when we released "Without You I'm Nothing", although "Sleeping With Ghosts" is a lot less gloomy. The heroin has since stopped leaking. In fact, I feel like I've pulled myself out of what I consider my second teenage years, between twenty and thirty. I conquered the self-destruction, exorcised some demons, understood what had happened to me. I held on to what I had learned. As a human being, I am now able to continue living, to try to answer the big questions posed by existence.

R&F: Maybe that's why the melodies are needed this time. It took me four records to get a favorite Placebo track.

The whole group in chorus: Which one?

R&F: "Protect Me From What I Want", of course ...

Brian Molko: The most paradoxical is that this song dates from the end of the "Black Market Music" sessions. I was not married at the time, but I was trying to get out of a particularly vicious divorce.just started. Then we wait for the lyrics, which don't arrive, it's rather intriguing. We especially wanted to avoid the big Rican producer side, we needed someone who shakes us up a bit. Jim could do that because he comes from dance and his pedigree is impressive. We have all his records at home, Bjôrk, Massive Attack, Sneaker Pimps and especially DJ Shadow. It is believed that guitar rock can only evolve by incorporating new genres, this is the only way to remain a modern rock band. At home, we practically only listen to hip hop.

R&F: Still, he didn't betray you.

Brian Molko: No because he actually brought out our rock side, which I'm particularly proud of. In fact, because we always wanted to control everything, it was not easy to be forced, to do certain things backwards, to walk on the head. But in truth, that's what we wanted: yes, there was some tension in the studio but we all took advantage of it. The challenge is necessary and it is also valid for the public. We opened up and rediscovered ourselves.

Stefan Olsdal (emerging from his chair): We found ourselves in front of the mirror, at the foot of the wall: someone had to kick our ass.

Brian Molko: Jim was like, "Why are you doing this?" We would answer him: "Because we always do it like that!" He would say: "All the more reason not to do it."

Stefan Olsdal: On the first day, he messed up all the demos, changed the tones, the tempos ...

R&F: Like Brian Eno ...

Steve Hewitt: Yeah, but with a lot more compassion. Eno is a bit (silence) ... We don't really like being told our actions, but at the same time, we are still young, still absorbing. Jim knew how to preserve us while making a modern sound.

R&F: Modern and rock'n'roll at the same time, a characteristic which does not necessarily apply to all the young groups in The which recycle the past gently but are convinced to have found the virus of the AIDS.

Steve Hewitt: Placebo doesn't belong to any current, has nothing to do with fashion.

R&F: You always pose as outsiders.

Brian Molko: It's the only way to survive.

Steve Hewitt: These bands, like The Strokes, play the nostalgia card.

Stefan Olsdal: And what happens next? I would not like to be in their place.

Brian Molko: If you want good New York pop, you better listen to Blondie.

R&F: In 2003, 11 seems that you have abandoned all the androgynous paraphernalia, sexual ambiguity, glam references ...

Brian Molko: I think today everyone knows what there is to know. Our sexual inclinations haven't changed, and we still wear makeup. It is just more expensive and better applied. We are ourselves, in our music and in private. I went through my travelo period (in French in the interview - Editor's note), and I understood that being androgynous was not wearing skirts. It is a way of being on the spiritual plane. It is not an image but a state of mind.

Steve Hewitt: It's like being punk, it's an attitude.

Brian Molko: At the same time, I don't regret any of my eccentricities. I grew up in the spotlight and it all kind of makes me smile.

Stefan Olsdal: People still talk to us about certain outfits or positions, as if it still shocks them.

R&F: Yes, and particularly in France, a particularly homophobic country which bumps heartily on gay artists.

Brian Molko: And you, coincidentally, you still hang out with.

Stefan Olsdal: Jérôme, it's coming out time (laughs) ...

Brian Molko: All that has to change, that all of France becomes gay (laughs)!

R&F: "Protect Me From What I Want" precisely, here is a title heavy with meaning. What was the idea behind this song?

Brian Molko: For me, it's a study of the pathological need people have to copulate, the search for meaning in copulation. As if bachelors or monogamists were aliens. As if we were only one when we were two. The song is about the fact that one relationship has destroyed me but I can't help but look for another ... why do I keep coming back to this?

R&F: Wow, we're bathing in philosophy here!

Brian Molko: Yes and it's the same elsewhere in the record: in "Plasticine", I insist on the fact that you have to be yourself above all while asking myself all these questions. Why do we have to do a lot of forbidden things, bad or harmful?

R&F: It's therapy in public.

Brian Molko: At least I find some balance in it. These are not songs about compassion or self-pity. They came out like this because it was vital for me. I am in this privileged situation where I can express myself and the world hears me. Otherwise, I would be really frustrated and I would have suffered a lot more in the last fifteen years.

R&F: Music saved your life.

Brian Molko: Sure.

Steve Hewitt: Everyone: I think we can say that. Without Placebo, we would not be not even alive.

Brian Molko: Spitting it all out is not necessarily the right solution. There are things with which to live. In fact, I've always been afraid to go see a psychiatrist ...

R&F: Yet, listening to you speak earlier, you could have the feeling that Jim Abiss acted a bit like a shrink with you.

Brian Molko: That's right. You could say that.

R&F: At a time when Bush and Blair want to play World War III, what attitude do you adopt? What do you think of these Englishmen who left for Iraq to constitute a human shield?

Brian Molko: Let's say we stand together. We participated in the March for Peace on February 14th with Damon Albarn and 3D from Massive Attack. We were also surprised that so few groups mobilized, which increased our desire to participate tenfold.

R&F: Do you consider that it is the role of the artist to give voice in such circumstances?

Steve Hewitt: Yes, in the sense that we can help with general motivation.

Brian Molko: I'm very interested in seeing if Blair is going to let Bush bomb Iraq with the British present on the soil of the country. If he ever allows that, the consequences will be dire.

R&F: It will only be one more religious war, in the name of oil and money ...

Brian Molko: It seems absurd that we can still fight for that. And curiously, nobody speaks more, or almost, of Bin Laden. Wouldn't it all come from him, by chance, as a huge consequence of September 11? On the other hand, we have such a feeling that Bush wants to finish the job that daddy started. Its image is so bad that it needs at least one war to restore its image.

Steve Hewitt: And reinvigorate its dying economy.

R&F: The method is lamentable, deceitful. Like those employed by the recording industry which claims to be doing well by selling pop in damaged boxes to ignoramuses.

Brian Molko: The ability of this job to ingest people, bribe them and then spit them out is impressive. This is what happened here at Canal +.R&F: Business is the beast.

Brian Molko: All these pre-made artists are young and naff ...

Steve Hewitt: They'll all end up in a labor camp for ex-pop stars.

R&F: Warhol was talking about fifteen minute glory, we're brutally passed to fifteen seconds.

Brian Molko: We should have called them Karaoke idols from the start.

Steve Hewitt: And it only works because of the TV ...

R&F: Who washes the poor, helpless brains.

Steve Hewitt: You can tell how much people want to think less

R&F: And spend less. For many, music should be free: one in five thirteen-year-olds doesn't know that a disc doesn't have to be a computer-burnt puck. Some are flabbergasted when they see a cover for the first time.

Stefan Olsdal: And those who don't buy records put pressure on those who have them to pass them on at all costs, just long enough to copy them.

R&F: Exactly.

Brian Molko: That's why we blame Robbie Williams so much. Scooping 80 million pounds off EMI and then declaring that pirating music is a fantastic thing just makes him want to stick a chunk in his face.

R&F .: And then piracy is not a matter of environment. It's not a suburban thing. There are rich kids who find it normal to burn 80 CDs during their weekend and sometimes sell them to their friends ...

Brian Molko: What do these people believe? That we are there, the face in the stream with a syringe stuck in the arm singing "La Vie En Rose"? And who will pay for our children's school? Not them, anyway. Our mentality is quite different: we always want to buy records from people we love, from our friends. Personally, we are partly out of the woods, but it will be particularly difficult for new groups to make a living from music in five or ten years.

R&F: Come on, we're not going to leave each other on this, a little humor won't hurt anyone. If you were to be banned from any of these three things, which would you choose: making music, making money or making love?

Steve Hewitt (almost tit for tat): I would stop making money, without hesitation. It's because I love music and sex too much. And then, well, you have to choose.

Brian Molko (completely overwhelmed): Oh damn, that's not true. What a dilemma!

R&F: No Brian, that doesn't count, make an effort (laughs).

Brian Molko: Ah, I don't know. And then if. I would stop making money and get on well with someone super rich.

R&F: Or you would be pimp ...

Brian Molko: Yes, that's it. Good plan.

Stefan Olsdal: Stop making love does not mean to stop loving ...

Brian Molko (preparing his shot): And we can always masturbate (general laughter).

Stefan Olsdal: OK then, I would stop making love.

R&F: Okay, it will be written in black and white for all eternity.

Brian Molko: Will we live long enough to regret it? This is the real question.

*COLLECTED BY JEROME SOLIGNY

[Inset, Trash Palace]

Already present on the first album by Trash Palace which he had adorned with his presence one unhealthy recovery of "I Love You, Me No More "in duet with Asia Argento, Brian Molko is coming to re-stack. This time he cosigns directly "The Metric System " with Dimitri Trash Palace Tikovoi, an electro saw boosted to bleeps fundamentals available in two remix and its clip on an enhanced single recently published at Discograph. The result is particularly (d) amazing and sounds good logical, like of Placebo cyber.Placebo in Rock & Folk magazine - April 2003

#the cows.#placebo #brian molko #stefan olsdal #steve hewitt #the metric system is so chaotic i love it

43 notes · View notes

tallmantall · 1 year

Text

#JamesDonaldson On #MentalHealth - How To Help #Kids Who Are Too Hard On Themselves

0 notes

furiousgoldfish · 4 years

Text

Common experiences with abusive mom:

hyper fixates on your appearance, constantly makes you incredibly self-aware of how you look and what others are thinking of you

compares you to other people, to show you what you should be more like (or look more like), making you feel like you’re the only worthless person

tries to control and micromanage your appearance, threatens you with missing out this and that if you don’t look up to her standards

uses you as emotional and psychological support

tells you how you are the only one who understands and loves her, forcing you to bear the burden of living as her “support system”

constantly makes you feel guilty for everything that is happening to her, makes you feel as if you owe her to make the world a bearable place for her

shares traumatic stories from her past that you are too young to understand and react to, expects unconditional emotional support and therapy from you even when you are a child

if the dad is abusive too, accuses you of being “just like him” or tells you that you remind her of him when she lashes out on you

also if father or another person is abusing you, she stands on their side or just pretends not to see or notice it’s going on, later tells you it’s your fault

silences your opinions with “you don’t know anything”

shows exaggerated concern for you for purpose of controlling where you go and what you do, makes you feel obliged to avoid certain places or situations so “she wouldn’t worry” but it extends to stuff you would usually be able to do safely, like hanging out with friends or traveling or having a social life

forces you to center her well being and her happiness more than your own and if you do anything for your own good, you will be called out for not thinking of her first

doesn’t feel responsible for providing you with decent meals or wardrobe, doesn’t notice when you’re hungry or lacking in basic resources, but lashes out at you if anyone else notices for “embarrassing her”

or alternatively, is crazy controlling over when you’re allowed to eat, what you’re allowed to eat, and what resources you are allowed to have

pushes you into interests and activities she wants you to have, disregards and criticizes everything you do that she doesn’t like

her behavior towards you changes in public, she becomes must more concerned over how other people perceive her relationship to you, is generally nicer if other people are listening

feigns concern towards you in front of others, in private keeps telling you how you’ll never make anything out of yourself

tries very hard to keep you at home forever if possible, refuses to teach you basic life skills, denies you resources you need to learn how to make something on your own, convinces you that you are in fact, helpless and incapable of survival without her, insists that you be dependent on her

breaks into your privacy, demands sensitive information about your relationships, conversations and thoughts, everything you do not feel comfortable about telling her because you know she’ll use it against you

accuses you of being a failure as a child, for being “heartless” and not caring about her at all, reminds you of everything she’s been thru only to raise you, talks as if she sacrificed herself for you

has periods where she doesn’t seem to even notice you, then in other times is completely obsessed with you and wont let you out of her sight

acts aggressive at times but always with pretense that her violence doesn’t count because she’s not physically able to seriously injure you, disregards all psychological and mental wounds of being assaulted and hurt by your own mother

acts like you’re an extension of her and have no existence or life of your own, refuses to accept any individuality and tries to prevent you from growing up and becoming your own person

makes you feel too guilty to say no to her, uses every social convention to make you feel as if you’re using and discarding your poor mother when all you want is to create a single boundary

refuses to acknowledge any of your successes but brings up your failures as a proof that nothing will ever become of you

insists over and over again that all she does is out of concern and love

#abusive mom #toxic mother #furiousgoldfish #child abuse #narcissistic mother #abusive mother #abuse #emotional abuse #toxic guilt #abusive parents #narcissistic parents #long term abuse #traumatic childhood

6K notes · View notes

floridabaiter · 3 years

Text

the cornerstone of self-idolization and lack of self-preservation: our ex-twt stan + has a cc as a sibling rant

preface: my system joined mcyttwt a while back (i can't remember exact times due to personal reasons) and it genuinely contributed to the downfall and spiral of our mental health in the past year. especially from my perspective as a protecter alter, i saw the brunt of things that stressed us to the point of detriment. our sibling has half a million followers on some platforms (not mcyt) and we have seen firsthand through him how pressure from online can affect ccs. (we will not be speaking on his experience as they probably do not want us to publically.) also sorry if this is a little incoherent we had a seizure this morning- this is just to get everything off our chest.

DEHUMANIZATION + STANDARDS:

b4 i start here's the dictionary definition of dehumanization: "transitive verb. : to deprive (someone or something) of human qualities, personality, or dignity: such as. a : to subject (someone, such as a prisoner) to inhuman or degrading conditions or treatment "… you treat people with respect, you get respect back." + heres smth from brenebrown.com "Maiese defines dehumanization as “the psychological process of demonizing the enemy, making them seem less than human and hence not worthy of humane treatment.” Dehumanizing often starts with creating an enemy image."

the dehumanization of content creators on mcyttwt is disgusting. they are placed on pedestals and expected to walk on eggshells when creating their own content and writing THEIR OWN tweets and messages- they are expected to drop FRIENDS over what teenagers on twitter who don't know them personally thought of them. they were expected to respond to death-threats and criticism and harassment with a big smile and an apology for whatever they did. they are people who are not treated as people by stan twitter- they are treated as higher-than while simultaneously lesser-than when they are normal people who make mistakes. this is not okay. having interpersonal relationships + making mistakes & learning from them are basic parts of life that these content creators are being stripped of by twitter's cesspool of a community and it's so blatant and disgusting that they are faced with daily swarms of harassment for simply making mistakes + making friends + having lives while making content.

(side-note: another form of dehumanization is the fact that twitter consistently strips people of their privacy and private lives. cc or not you are expected to put everything about yourself out there [face included ie: selfie day] and that's blatantly unsafe for minors and adults alike. the way they dig into personal histories and pasts and relationships while simultaneously preaching "respect boundaries" is disgusting and deplorable.)

twitter's policy of "i stan this person, i like their content" while simultaneously harassing the ones that they claim to enjoy content from is confusing at best. it is detrimental to any cc's health. the villianization of ccs is fucking ridiculous.

WHITE SAVIORS:

coming from a poc person, twitter has a rampant disgusting problem with white saviors 👍🏼. i don't even need to get into it, everyones seen it and you all know. also i'm not even getting into how mcyttwt treats mexicans 👍🏼 i'm not your little maraca drug cartel "ayyy man" meow meow, emily.

white people on twitter: we are not your toy for activism. we are not yours to use to excuse your harassment of real people. fuck you. shut up. let us speak for ourselves and uplift our voices when we ask. (also stop with the "ugh 🙄 white people" shit. we're talking about you ❤️.)

PERFORMATIVE ACTIVISM:

twitter preaches to not be performaitve in lifting up voice and then is preformaitve.

there's countless threads that are out there just for clicks and likes (ie. "things not to say to a trans person" *states the most obvious shit like 'don't call them their agab'*) for fucking popularity. it's all the time, people chase clout under the guise of pretending to care about minorities. it's sickening, especially when they bring race or ethnicity into these threads for their ""activism"".

MISOGYNY:

twitter's gender bias is again, blatant.

female ccs will call out the same behaviors male ccs get praised for calling out and will get degraded and put down and have their name trending under "[name] neg //" for hours after the tweet is sent, they'll be harassed for days afterward and shamed. their bodies will be judged by fucking randoms who have no place saying anything (women aren't objects!). they get shit for the same thing male ccs do with no consequences. it's disgusting, it's blatant, and it's not being talked about or addressed.

PERSONAL AFFECTS:

it never allowed for enjoying content. it was contestant stressful pressure to keep up with every minute and miniscule detail of what a cc did, constantly choosing sides and never being allowed to speak outside of what the collective group on twitter thought. having an opinion other than "this is wrong and should be the downfall of this human person" was not allowed. there was an issue every day, we felt like we couldn't say we enjoyed anything without someone coming in our dms like "um.. did you know [insert something mildly problematic]... you should delete that post about liking them." and god forbid when "cc neg //" would trend because everyone couldn't maturely move on from something that wasn't a big deal. twitter has made my system SPLIT NEW ALTERS because of the stress and obligation we felt to keep up with every minute detail. (albeit we are polyfrag and prone to splitting, and our co-host at the time was an emotionally volatile dream introject during a very dream-critical time. that still doesn't excuse the toxic environment that caused the splits in the first place :|.)

what twitter does to people- especially ccs, is unsafe and unpleasant at best and traumatizing at worst. these people need to grow the up, put on their big boy pants and realize that not everything is about them.

all of this is off the top of my head too :| we've been waiting to rant about this since we got ON twitter. this doesn't even scratch the surface of the abelism and babying of ND ppl or people with disabilities + the other horrid shit that happens on that app.

tl;dr twitter touch fucking grass and do it FAST holy shit. please go outside and talk to people. get a job. read a book. do some math or something idk.

#rant #vent #i guess #cw negative #twitter talk #009post #long post #cw Twitter critical #cw critical #sorry i just really needed to get this off my chest. like badly #ask to tag

25 notes · View notes