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henrioo · 2 months

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Hey! Could I please request some fluffy scenarios about Shanks X Male and Mihawk X Male Reader (separately if that's okay) who's love languages are physical touch and quality time, but is also struggling with anxiety? Sorry for going on anon, this is my first time ever requesting and I'm a little nervous lol

°•*⁀➷ TOO MUCH LOVE, TOO MANY THOUGHTS : SHANKS AND MIHAWK

꒰ SYNOPSIS ꒱ : You love your partners, you really do, but sometimes those voices inside you gain control over your body, making you withdraw into your own fears and feelings. Good for you that your partners won't give up on having you by their side.

꒰ WARNINGS ꒱ : MALE! READER, M! READER, NOT POLY! The reader can be Trans or Cis, talking about homophobia but nothing happens, a lot of talk about insecurities in a romantic relationship, talk about anxiety and fear

꒰ WC ꒱ : 2,4k at all, 1k for Shanks and 1,4 for Mihawk

꒰ NOTES ꒱ : Hey thanks for this request! It had been some months and I don't have any idea if you are still there but anyway thanks for that, that request is part of the first ask I received when I opened for male reader so this means a lot to me. The ask doesn't talk too much about the insecurities of the reader because I wanted that you guys could imagine your own, here talk more about how they would handle and help you. Enjoy!

★彡 Shanks

It may not seem like it, but the redhead is a master at reading people, all it takes is a few nervous glances and body language and he knows exactly what the problem is.

However, while he knows what the problem is, he is not that good at knowing the best solution for it. Part of him just wants to grab you and say "stop with that and let's just kiss." Luckily he knows that not everyone works like him, so he is able to understand that you may have different limits and such a direct approach can make the situation worse and even push you away from him.

So, firstly, he tries to understand exactly why you are suffering from so much anxiety when it comes to spending time with him and having more physical touch. Are you ashamed or afraid of doing PDA because of prejudiced looks since you are both men? Are you afraid that he will reject you if you show this need for time and affection? Are you publicly ashamed of others? Regardless of what's going through your head, Shanks wants to understand so he can give you truer love.

When he has a little idea or some theories, which he will achieve after observing you a lot in various situations and talking to all the other men on the ship, he will try to talk to you. Of course he will never force you into anything, he just wants to try to understand and maybe ease this weight that you are carrying alone. Even if you just want to scream or ramble without knowing exactly how to express your feelings and anxiety, he wants to be there for you, to show that he is willing to listen to you, understand you, especially validate and support you. He wants you to see that he is there for you in every situation.

Whether you decide to speak or not, the outcome changes very little. The difference being that having talked to you, Shanks will be able to understand you more easily, thus being able to make fewer mistakes in his attempts to help you and make you more comfortable with everything. If you don't decide to talk, he will be forced to make several trials and errors on how to make the environment more favorable for you to feel comfortable and overcome your anxiety, so you can give in to your desires for physical touch and spend more time with him. quietly.

Since you may have anxiety about initiating contact, Shanks will do all the hard work for you. Which, let's be honest, isn't very difficult, the redhead adores you like a loyal servant to a god, he can't keep his hands off you. It may seem funny to others to see a pirate as strong as a stray puppy following you, especially when they discover that Shanks' lover is a man, but what can he do... He is a man completely in love with you .

It's not uncommon for him to go after you, but if he notices your difficulty in initiating contact, he'll go even more after his presence. Every time he is free on the ship he will come after you, suggesting that you play a game, have a snack, talk, dance, sleep, he never runs out of ideas knowing that coming up first with a goal can make you calmer since you will just need to go with the flow and not think about everything on your own.

With physical touch, the difference is that he will pay extra attention to your comfort, it is normal that every time you are on land he is glued to your side. Holding hands or a hand around his waist practically hugging you, he just doesn't want to let go of you. In bars or any other establishment he would like to sit next to you, he would never put you on his lap, wishing that this choice came from you first. Shanks doesn't want you to feel humiliated or insulted by him wanting you on his lap, especially if you're nervous about showing affection publicly because you're both men.

But that doesn't stop him from having some physical contact, when his hand isn't occupied he'll put it on your thigh or your hand on the table, if he's drinking he'll leave his foot close to yours or even leave his foot close to yours. His leg pressed against yours. Even if it's small touches, he wants to show you that he wants to touch you just as much as you want to touch him. On the ship things are easier, he can simply hide the two of you in your shared room, thus avoiding the teasing of your crewmates and also having a little more privacy.

In the end he will just try to demonstrate that he wants your touch and attention as much as you do. He knows that actions can be stronger than words and he firmly believes that, so he will always be by your side to show you that he would never turn down spending time with you or having a make-out session. You are his boyfriend, after all! The man he loves and would do anything to see smile, he could never get tired of you.

Shanks' greatest happiness will be seeing you slowly loosen up and work on your anxiety better. When you start spending time together or touching, he will be celebrating inside. In the end, he just wants your attention and for you to show how much you love him, so he will never refuse if you want to spend time together. And even if it takes a while, even if you don't touch him for months, even if you need to talk a lot until you feel more confident, he doesn't mind at all. You are the one he loves and he would do anything for you, no effort is too much, you are worth everything he has to face and suffer, and he will accept it with a smile on his face.

If you think Shanks is easy to notice his difficulties then it only takes Mihawk an instant to notice something wrong. The difference is that the redhead will consider that some of the reasons for your anxiety could be external stimuli such as other people, reputation, shame or fear... Mihawk is a little more insecure at this point.

★彡Mihawk

His early theories for your anxiety and difficulty having quality time and physical touch with him is that the culprit is, well... Him. Are you no longer in love with him? Don't you feel comfortable? Not attracted? Is he not that interesting of a person to spend time with or is he not good at physical touch? It doesn't matter, he would initially think that it must be something he did that caused his estrangement.

He would have a few moments alone to consider everything, perhaps you no longer enjoy being in that castle without anyone's company but his. When he manages to calm his mind and open himself to any possibility, whether good or bad, he finally decides to talk to you. Luckily, Mihawk is extremely verbally expressive and is very good at communicating, so even if you were just rambling and getting lost in your own words, he will be able to understand you or even help you with how to express yourself better.

The conversation may seem a little suffocating due to Mihawk's firm gaze, but you've been his lover for long enough that he only pays attention to you like that. Furthermore, you can see a worried touch and even a loving look if you pay close attention to the way he looks at you.

Other than that, he is extremely patient with you, he will listen to you for as long as necessary and will only speak if you allow it and feel comfortable discussing it at that moment. Then he will try to analyze the entire situation to better understand your fears, insecurity, anything that is making you anxious and pushing you away from him. He will never judge any of your motives or tell you they are silly, no matter if you were just shy, if you were nervous about appearing clingy, if you were too nervous about his beauty? It doesn't make any difference why, if it bothers you in some way, then it's totally important and valid for him.

And just as he doesn't care about the reasons, he also doesn't care about the solutions to help you with your problems. He loves you with all the depth and loyalty he could have, so he is also willing to give his blood and sweat for the good of your relationship. For Mihawk it's more than fair for both lovers to make an effort, especially when one of them is in trouble, so not for a second does he think of you or this whole situation as a burden. He loves you and you love him, you are partners, you are the man he chose to spend the rest of his life with, if he doesn't make the slightest effort in trying to keep the relationship on good terms then he doesn't deserve you. That's why he will always do his best.

After that he will try to make everything easier for you, he might give you a few peaceful days without looking for contact, wanting you to breathe before facing your problems. After that he will begin his plan to slowly make you approach him again and feel comfortable coming to him whenever you want... And well, maybe he will be much happier when he can finally touch you again and spend time with you. , it may not seem like it, but Mihawk also really wants your company and the idea of being without it makes him extremely moody.

He will initially try to recapture the moments together, quality time is easier for Mihawk and he thinks that starting with that is the best way for the two of you to get closer again, after all you wouldn't be forced into any touching if you weren't already completely safe. Then he will reminisce about some of the activities you used to enjoy doing together, be it reading in each other's company during a calm evening, the sound of the fireplace and the birds outside providing a more peaceful environment for you to relax your mind and let go of the anxiety. go away. He will also invite you to garden together. If you don't like getting dirty he will just talk to you and ask for your help. That doesn't make you put your hands in the dirt. However, if you like it, he will be very happy to teach you or listen to his teachings. He will work in the garden while you talk about where you could use those vegetables. If you want, he can also help you make a flower garden or plant anything else you like.

He will also love your company in the kitchen, he may use the excuse of testing new recipes to include you more, maybe he will even try to make something that you like to eat from another island. If you cook, like it or want to learn, he doesn't mind your help either, as long as you are happy and coming out of your shell, forgetting your anxiety and allowing yourself to be comfortable and doing what you love again, he is satisfied. Also, he may start trying to initiate physical touches, if you are a swordsman he will love some sparring sessions with you, although he won't go easy on you. After all, you are a man and a worthy opponent, you can notice that his movements are much more sensual and loving, it is as if he is trying to seduce you, win you over again and using all his body language in favor of this.

If you don't fight or don't want to learn, although Mihawk would love to teach you, he can still think of other activities with physical touch. His favorite is dancing. You will find him the most patient and dedicated partner possible, if you understand dancing he will even let you guide, moving and handling his body as you wish. Furthermore, he could even go into activities outside of his standard if that could help him relax and be calmer with touch. Trying on clothes? You have Dracule's entire wardrobe at your disposal, luckily you are both men so this part is easier. Messing with hair? Of course, go ahead and touch his black hair, if you have longer hair he will enjoy learning how to style it or take care of it.

Other than that, once he notices you getting more comfortable, he'll go back to the subtle physical touches. Mihawk is not the type of lover who devours you in public, but you will always find his hand on your back, either guiding you or just making it clear that he is there. He will also offer his hand to help you get up or down from places, a hand on your shoulder or arm if you are in a situation where he wants to make it obvious that he has you and that he won't let anything bad happen.

He doesn't like more sensual touches in public, so in the privacy of four walls you will have more of that, light touches on your neck or your thigh, but they still won't be perverted touches, just a more romantic and deep touch, something he wants to keep for your eyes only.

Mihawk is a lover who is slower to deal with his anxiety, he in no way wants you to feel pressured, so he will wait with open arms when you are ready to regain intimacy. He'd also hate for you to feel like you're obligated to have this kind of intimacy with him, so he also doesn't mind if you don't like the closeness. In the end the truth is just unique, in Mihawk's eyes you are the perfect man, if you don't like so much intimacy and touching he is satisfied with that, if you like touching and want to be with him 24/7 he will too be more than satisfied. He needs you, everything you give him will be a gift. Therefore, even though he seems like a stoic and even cold man, Mihawk would never deny or be ashamed of your touch, you are the only one who can do whatever you want and he will never be bothered by it.

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princessefemmelesbian · 5 months

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A PSA

Okay I normally don't make posts about TERFs like these because I prefer to reblog them from trans people who know more about this stuff then I do but I just gotta say this, and if I'm being for fucking real I can't believe this even has to be said:

Stop posting screenshots of TERF posts and saying "op was a terf so I'm stealing this post! 🤪"

Seriously, stop it. You're not doing anything good by taking TERF talking points and reposting them to your blog. All you're doing is allowing TERF rhetoric to continue to spread and sanitizing it so that people become desensitized to it and don't recognize actual TERF rhetoric when they see it.

When you screenshot a TERF post and say "op was a TERF" all you are doing is validating TERF points whether you agree with them or not. Because every post a TERF makes, even if it seems benign, is connected to their rotten, transmisogynist ideology. You cannot divorce TERF statements from their true intentions. I think a lot of TMEs on this site really underestimate the fact that TERF is a harmful hate movement. Every statement a TERF makes, even if it seems harmless or actually feminist, is ultimately going to be tarnished by the fact that they are made with the intention of targeting trans women and wanting them dead. If a post is about how men are awful or are "raised" to be a certain way and is made by a TERF, then congratulations, you just found transmisogynistic rhetoric that is actually about trans women and their apparent "male socialization". If a post is about how lesbians should be allowed to not like men and how men are forcing themselves onto lesbians, but a TERF made it, then it's not actually a lesbian-friendly post. It is a transphobic post about how transfem lesbians apparently "prey" on cis lesbians(which they also think straight trans men are, let's make that very clear) by merely existing. Same for any post about the word queer or the beauty industry or periods or anything of the like. Even if they don't explicitly say it, TERFs are inherently lumping trans women in with(cishet) men and trans men in with women/lesbians and THAT is the true meaning of the post. You're not making it any better by reposting it from them.

TERFs know exactly how to make their posts seemingly benign and genuinely positive on the surface so that people get sucked in to thinking that they are truly for the feminist cause and actually have good points to make. But all of it ultimately serves the purpose of continuing transmisogyny, and when you post screenshots of their posts and go "I really wanted to reblog this post but op was a terf so I'm stealing it! 😇" all you are doing is giving terfs a platform and saying that we should listen to them. You're exposing trans women to beliefs and opinions of people who ultimately wish to harm them and do NOT have the same innocent intentions that you believe they have from looking at the post at first glance. You are not helping women. You are not helping feminism. You're internalizing TERF rhetoric, and you're allowing other people to internalize it, too.

It's one thing if you don't realize a post was made by a TERF before you reblog it, and then you delete it afterwards. But if you know someone is a TERF and intentionally repost their vile, sickening rhetoric wrapped up in pink feminist bows and go "I like the message of this post but op is a terf so 🤷🏾‍♀️" then you may as well be reblogging it directly from them, because you're still agreeing with TERFs at the end of the day.

What can you do instead? You can reblog feminist posts from amazing and intellectual trans women who actually are genuine about the cause and actually know what they're saying. They have way better views on feminism and misogyny and lesbophobia and the patriarchy then a radfem who thinks woman=vagina and man=penis ever will, trust me. Uplift their voices instead of stealing from conservative hate groups. It really is that simple.

#terfs dni #radfems dni #tw terf #anti-terf #trans #trans women #transmisogyny #lesbian #lesbophobia #transphobia #misogyny #patriarchy #feminism #op #as someone said on another reblog: 'there's a reason you found this on a terf blog. it is a terf post.'

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maledistributionsystem · 3 months

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Heyy i have a question for you bro. First of all i love your posts, it's so encouraging and makes me feel genuely better abt myself. My question is how do i make up for a boyhood i never had? I'm 18 and transitioning isn't available to me, my country is extremely homophobic and id simply need someone to tell me my chest doesn't make me a girl etc but i don't know any queer folks irl and it feels like im missing out

Thank you for contacting the Male Distribution System Bark Line. Remember: Mens bodies come in many shapes, sizes, colors, and heights. Being unconventional does not detract from your validity. Your message is in the queue...

hey man whats good!

This is something I've been doing/thinking about for years, and honestly I'm not sure how applicable my advice is, but i'll still try :^)

I grew up real sheltered and closed away from the world, there's a lot that I never got the chance to experience or be taught that I've had to make up for. I'll ask ya, What weren't you allowed to do due to your socialization/upbringing? for me the answers are: Tackle football, watching star wars, playing with "boy toys" from fast food meals, walking around shirtless, wearing "simple" clothes, stuff like that.

Dont be afraid to derive gender euphoria from shit thats uselessly gendered. I still use Old Spice deoderant because it was Boy Deoderant and i really liked the way it smelled when i was 17 lol. Buy "mens" body wash, use "mens" razors, stuff like that! (In america all these things are less than 10$ so im very sorry if thats bad advice for you)

My answer for experiencing boyhood is: Let yourself be free in all the ways you wish you could have at that age. Collect monster trucks, build lego sets, watch wrestling or mma or boxing or [insert overwhelmingly male-dominated physical sport here], engage with hobbies that are male-dominated and feel good about talking to other men online who participate too.

honestly on that note, make a social media account divorced from any of your other ones with no indicators whatsoever that you're trans, just say you're a man (if you specify at all) and interact with dudes anonymously, kinda like you did me here. It's such a quiet and hidden thing to do, but when i was in highschool (14-17 years old for me) it was one of the most validating things i did for myself. I was just one of the guys, because i literally am.

But also, that boy needs to cry. I'm serious, let him scream and be angry and punch things, let him be sad and ask "why couldnt i have this before?". That little boy inside you could use the aknowledgement.

Also hey, i know you dont got no IRL queer folks to say it to you, so i will: having a chest dont make you any less of a man. Wearing a binder hurts my back, badly. So i stopped wearing them and havent worn a binder in a few years now. I still correct people to tell them im a dude. I just let them hang about freely. I'm just a dude with a chest, and i make people deal with seeing that. Even if you can't go around correcting people and shit, i want you to know it in your heart. Dudes have chests sometimes. Not even just trans dudes! Cis dudes get gynecomastia at varying (but usually a bit older) ages and have to get surgery too. Hell, even those gymrats addicted to roids get tit fat that need to be removed. They're all still men, and so are you. I dont care what it looks like, you're still a man.

I'm sorry if this wasn't quite what you was looking for, but i hope you know you're a brother to us all, and like any brother would, i hope you get what you're looking for out of your life. You deserve it.

Be easy, now ☆

#Bark Line #had to redo my tags on this one bc i forgot using quotations fucks them up. gods i hate tumblr sometimes #anyways #it might look stupid or childish to other people to see me sitting here like #'play into gender roles to make yourself feel better'#but im actually serious it feels so good and the unnecessary gendering of random shit isnt going away #might as well use it to make yourself feel better lol

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buckys-metal-arm · 2 months

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What do you think Bucky's pronouns are? What about Natasha's and Steve's? Anyone else? I sometimes think Natasha would use they/she and Bucky might be hesitant to use any other than he/him because he's never thought about it before, but I also think he'd be affirmed by a they.

I'll be honest, I didn't think I had super strong opinions on this but then I started writing this out lmao

So my quick disclaimer here is whenever I write Bucky I write him as a Cis Bisexual man. I've never thought much about his gender identity honestly, but I choose to think that he was into girls but also had feelings for Steve and that takes more importance to me personally (the self indulgent self-insert OC I paired him with is Nonbinary though ((and I'm NB myself)) so it's not like he doesn't know anything about it, just his Bisexuality is what's come up so far in what I've written) but tbh if someone referred to him as "they" I don't think he would correct them. I've also seen a lot of fics where when Bucky is in Winter Soldier mode he thinks of himself as "it", which I do think is really interesting but not something he actively chose. That's not to say it/It's pronouns aren't valid, they ABSOLUTELY are, but in this case I think it would stem more from HYDRA beating into him that he's an object or a machine and not a person rather than any preference on Bucky's part. I do think there's an argument to be made though for Bucky actively choosing to refer to himself using he/it or even he/it/they in his head for those 2 years before CW where he's on the run since he's not really the Winter Soldier and not really Bucky but a super secret third thing that's in between the two.

And some quick drive by ones:

Most of the rest of the Avengers I could see being he/theys and she/theys respectively, or just not caring about pronouns

Steve is the Token Cis Avenger™️ in my mind I can't explain it but he just gives off that vibe imo. He's not het though.

like tbh I don't think Thor cares what pronouns you use for him (1500 years is way too long to be cis). I think Valkyrie is in a similar camp, but prefers She/They.

Yelena strikes me as someone who would be cool with She/They, same with most of the women on the Thunderbolts lineup tbh

I feel like Kate would be She/Her, but if someone used "they" for her she wouldn't stop them y'know?

I don't have many thoughts on the Eternals in general, but Sprite is a She/They nonbinary I will not take criticism on this subject. Tbh I think most of them are He and She/Theys for the same reasoning as Thor, but I think some of them are like what I said for Bucky where like they won't correct you if you use 'they'. Ikaris is their Token CisHet™️

I love the headcanon that Holland!Peter is a transman, and I could see him and MJ being He/They She/They solidarity

The entire lineup of X-Men '97 is made up of He/Theys and She/Theys except for Morph who is canonically(!!) They/them. Jean Grey and Scott are their Token CisHets™️ and are good sports about it. You cannot look at Rogue, Gambit, Jubilee, and Storm's designs specifically and tell me they're cis. Not possible.

Shuri gives She/They energy imo

Carol is a She/They lesbian, is dating Valkyrie, and her marriage to the prince on Aladna is a Lavender Marriage. Fight me.

Stephen is the Token CisHet Avenger™️

Loki and Sylvie both use all pronouns, but prefer he/they/xe and she/xe respectively

The Alien superheroes like Nebula, Gamora, Groot, etc. I feel probably have like semi-complicated relationship with human gender so I feel like they probably don't put to much thought into pronouns

These are my sort of knee jerk reaction responses!

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cryptidfuckery · 1 year

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Your old social media was literally my first ever introduction to anyone identifying beyond the gender binary. In 2014, I was watching youtube videos in the small UK city I grew up in, and your videos were recommended. And I felt instant recognition when you talked about gender things, because I'm non-binary and I'd never heard of anyone identifying or expressing themselves that way when I was younger. You were the LGBT+ elder that I really appreciated advice from. (Even if you are only a few years older than me, you seemed much wiser). So I just wanted to say thank you for being your out and authentic self for so many years. Wishing you a good week. P.S. if you like cute animals, I highly recommend looking up photos of bog turtles, they definitely made my week better.

I'm really, really glad that I was able to help you!!

This definitely isn't the first time I've heard this. Notably, when I was at an anime convention years ago during that time, I had someone approach me and say essentially the same thing and also cry. Wonderful experience, also a fucking wild experience!!

It's one of the things I'm proudest of my younger self for. I was lucky enough to learn through my close friends at the time, but I definitely saw that there just. Wasn't enough information readily available for the people who might be interested. So I dug my heels in and allowed myself to be a resource, because it was important. Most of what I was doing was regurgitating what I was learning from my own elders and community, but it was important for people to have a face to the idea. Someone they could talk to and be validated by.

That was either around or over 10 years ago now. I've identified as genderqueer for over 10 years. I sometimes think about an the people who might have a similar time line just for the sake that I talked about it openly.

That time also helped me realize that I didn't want to go into activism full time. I love it, its important, but it made me realize that it would take too much out of me. Maybe I was able to handle it better because I was still being supported by family, and my only obligation (that I shirked a hell of a lot of) was highschool.

That doesn't mean I Completely stopped though. I'm one of those people you can make the joke "they'll trans your gender." I have a joke that the only people who don't end up more trans by the end of dating me are Very cis men. (I have a theory that the people who do end up "more trans" are attracted to the androgy for a reason, whether they realize or not).

I like to think it's because I know what questions to ask, not to push too hard, but more than anything, let them describe how they're feeling about their gender/sexuality with no judgements. Letting them explore it in a safe space. So my activism kind of happens there.

But more than that, I'm a hairdresser that caters toward queer/trans/gay people. That's where I feel I actually do my activism.

And I'll be real with you, I'm not out to all my clients. I work in a mixed bag neighborhood (old conservatives, young liberals, EVERYTHING inbetween) so half of that is keeping myself safe. The other half is not wanting to put extra work on myself trying to fight to explain my identify to someone who 1) doesn't actually care and 2) most likely won't actually hear a thing i say. I talk to the clients that bring it up, and come out to them if they ask. I'm not necessarily tight lipped about my queerness, but like all of us, at know how to illude without specifics. I let my clients decide their comfort level.

But my TRANS CLIENTS. They are SO important to me. I'm able to surround myself with the people I love, who I can crack a gender joke at and know I'll get a laugh. People I can really talk to about dysphoria, about hormones, about surgeries, about relationships, about sex, about family, about friends, about life in a way I don't get to with my other clients.

Even more important than that, I can make a huge step in their transition that much easier. I had a good amount of freshly cracked eggs find me after quarantine/the pandemic (it's not over). As we all know, it was a huge self reflection time. But I got to be there to be the first to validate their gender through their hair. That in itself can be an extremely nerve wracking process. My trans clients coming to me have allowed me to figure out the best way to naviagte the situation in a way where they feel comfortable and validated. It means the world to me. Seriously.

This is where I feel I actually do my activism. It's not explaining what gender is, it's not explaining pronouns. It's getting to assure someone they're on the right path. That what they're doing is good, and it's happy, and there's someone who's proud of them for going through the hard, hard process. I have people I've now been seeing for years who I've gotten to support through hormone changes, through identity changes, through relationship changes.

But one of the things I really try to stress is that being trans, while it absolutely has it's difficulty, it's supposed to be joyous. It's supposed to be the joy of being who you feel you really are. The joy of being loved for who you are. The joy of loving as you are. The joy of being loved by your community. The joy of loving life. Being trans is the joy of love, and the constant readmission that you love yourself more than anyone else can take away.

I cried a little bit writing that ngl.

Last thing I wanna say is that if I did happen to touch your life in a way that helped you become more fully realized, pass on the favor. The next time you have a friend or loved one you're getting the signals from, ask the questions. Be patient with them. Let them change their answers. Nudge but don't shove. Crack a joke. Meet them where they are.

Do it with love.

#making my OWN DAMN SELF cry before work #this stuff is still. really important to me #this got really long but if you've been here for a while you know me. this shit gets long

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oceansidegraveyard · 2 years

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to my death i will defend a transmasc or trans man's right to create art of themselves and our shared community how they wish, but my heart has been slowly dropping for a while now. thin, completely cis passing*, traditionally masculine bodies with perfect, stylized top surgery scars. the realization sets in that the only time i have ever really seen art of a trans male or transmasc body that resembles mine is in transmed caricatures. art meant to insult and mock bodies like mine, to remove transmascs and men like me from our transness and identity. our bodies are not celebrated, only defended when anti transmeds step in with well-meaning but ultimately alienating reassurances that not all transmascs/men look like this. but what of us who do?

i occasionally see the empty positivity/validity posts pass on by, attempting to lift up transmascs/men who are fat, who are either unable to access top surgery or hrt or who do not wish to pursue top surgery or hrt, or transmascs/men who are unabashedly femme. transmascs who have unique relationships to their bodies, and trans men challenging the popular perception of being male. but i hardly ever see any art or celebration of our bodies, of genuine admiration and acceptance for our bodies, of unconditional acceptance as us as mascs and men regardless of how we compare to the ideal. and even then, we are viewed as "in progress", because the thought of a transmasc/man who isnt pursuing top and/or hrt still isn't seen as something that can be desired or euphoric, or even an end goal of transition. bodies that look like ours are not always "before" pictures. stop treating us as such.

this is also magnified for transmascs/men of color, who are constantly pushed aside as undesirable or unacceptable or used as token diversity. transmascs and men who even when seeing representation of their presentation, will likely see it on a white person. creators of color who are deprioritized because them alone existing is something a lot of white creators cannot fully wrap their heads around.

support, celebrate, and make room for fat, pre/no t, pre/no top, pre/no bottom, butch, and femme transmascs and men, especially of color. support creators and those speaking about their experiences not being your trans ideal. celebrate us as a part of your community beyond "fat boys are cute and valid!" posts. respect and uplift transmascs and men of color, who will face higher violence and demonization of their bodies even more than we white transmascs/men will.

make room for us all.

= i understand that the concept of cis passing bodies is flawed, but i lack a better term to use. there are transmascs and men whos bodies are otherwise indistinguishable from what's expected of cis men's bodies, and they deserve representation as well. but when 99% of the time a depiction of a transmasc or man is, for lack of a better phrase, what's expected of cisgender male bodies but with lines under the pec muscles, no room is left for deviation of that standard. this of course backfires, since there are cis men whos bodies also lay outside that expectation, and are similarly discarded.

#transgender #transmasc #trans man #ftm #trans male

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a-faggot-with-opinions · 11 months

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Unlike with most of my other posts, there isn't really a point or an argument to be made with this post. I kind of just wanted to talk about a lot of things and there's no better way to do it than to just make a post on the "talk about a lot of things" website. If you want to hear my thoughts about GNC, gay, disabled, and ND transmasc visibility at a very young age in the society we live in, you should probably read this post.

So you always hear stories about straight/male attracted transfems being visibly transfem or fem at a young age (like around 3-5 years old), and GNC cis gay men being fem from very young too, and maybe less so masc lesbians and female attracted trans men being visibly GNC around 3-5 years old, but I wanted to talk about how trans gay men may present when they are young before they can understand what being trans actually is. There are also definitely conversations to be had about trans lesbians too, but as I'm neither transfem nor a lesbian, I don't feel qualified to speak on their behalf. If you're a trans lesbian, feel free to reply to this post or make your own post about your experiences.

My experience having been a young transmasc gay person who didn't know he was transmasc or gay is pretty unique in that it's rarely talked about in media, but I have spoken to other transmasc achilleans about it and it seems to be decently common, but not universal, among us.

I was a moderately-visible neurodivergent and disabled (at the time not physically disabled) girl living in a non-USAmerican country. For the first five years of my life I would refuse to wear anything except skirts and dresses because they were neat and I liked them. However, around the age of five I stopped wearing skirts and would refuse to wear them at all for years until I discovered that I wasn't cis. No one knew at the time why I stopped wearing them. In my very early years of school I would have been considered a "tomboy" but as I got older the label started feeling weirder because I was not a lesbian. I had very stereotypical male interests (math, science, computer programming, etc) and presented as masculine but I was not attracted to women.

For many years after I moved to USAmerica I identified as bi despite not being attracted to women. I sort of tricked myself into thinking that I was in order to validate my gender weirdness. At the time I was very socially isolated, too—I would get bullied often for being too masc but also too fem to be a "real man," for being neurodivergent, and for appearing too gay. It's almost like my bullies knew that I was trans and gay before I did. Something about my mannerisms showed them I was trans even though at the time I had long hair and would dress fem (still, no skirts).

Because society shoved it down my young, egg throat that gender = presentation and that trans people must be gender conforming, I ended up convincing myself again that I was just a fem cis woman. I think what really made me feel comfortable with myself again was discovering FOB and developing it as a special interest very soon after that. My only sense of gender then was sexuality, and I knew I was really into men, so I convinced myself again that my femininity made me female because that's what men are attracted to.

Fast forward to when young, egg me started reading fanfiction. I would read everything but I started with x reader fic. Though I enjoyed the fics I always had felt like something was wrong. Fast forward to when I discovered gay, M/M fic. Something about it felt so right, especially fic where I could imagine myself being a feminine guy with a more masculine guy. I think that is when I realized that gender doesn't have to equal presentation.

What I realize now looking back is that egg me was extremely uncomfortable with a "biologically female" body. I should be allowed to be fem and attracted to men while in a male body, and I should be able to do that even if it's not a body I was born with. And this realization made all of my past struggles with gender make sense.

As I said at the beginning, there isn't really a point to this post, but if you found it interesting or relatable, feel free to add anything you'd like! I love my trans siblings :3

#star speaks #transandrophobia #<- not really but tagging for exposure #gay #trans #transgender #nonbinary #trans mlm #ftm #actually autistic #neurodivergent

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m3l4nch0ly-h1ll · 9 months

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I hate how people try boiling trans guys down to just having a trauma response and wanting male privilege. If you're trans, you should be deprived of idealistic privileges and know that you'll never have privileges. I want equality, not privilege, I do not want to continue a biased world and allow myself to support it by desiring privilege over equality. And not only am I AFAB, but I'm also trans- double homicide. So obviously there's no privileges for me to have, except for socially passing as a cis guy. But that doesn't stop me from experiencing systematic oppression for being AFAB AND trans, so there's no male privileges for me to have except for social passing. Because I will never have the opportunity to have male privilege due to being born female. My transness is no trauma response, I am not pro-patriarchy for my gender identity. I am just a guy, and I just want to present myself as one and live my life being an equal. I'm not a traumatized cis girl or a misogynist or something, I'm just me.

+ There's plenty of people that only respect trans guys that pass as cis men and trans women that pass as cis women, so passing gives you an advantage to have respect in your life, and makes you more likely to still have respect if you come out, just because you pass well. If they can't apply the 'you always know they're trans' statement to you, they respect you.

I am not avoiding a 'woman's responsibility,' women don't have to do certain things to be women, they are just women, just another part of life. Being a trans guy is visibly not easier than being a cis woman if you can actually see past your ridiculousness to notice that. Trauma competition and struggle competition is only for the means of invalidating a certain person or community's experiences to show your disproval and bias.

And also, cis men love to bait trans men into competition since they'll only see them as 'real men' if they're more manly than cis men and pass well- unless they just never see them as real men and pretend to see them as an equal. So passing as a cis guy grants you the opportunity to avoid this and be treated as an equal, so when they find out you're trans, they can't compete with you to either validate or invalidate you, because they found out you're trans later on and you already seemed like a manly cis guy in the first place. But if they already know you're trans initially, they only see you for your trans identity and think you're not as manly as them. It's so easy to see through the facade of cis people and how they treat trans people based off if they pass as cis initially or not. My ideal look is deprived of femininity or womanhood, and that doesn't make me lustful of a privilege I can never even have anyway.

#afab people #trans ftm #trans man #transgender #lgbtq #lgbtqia #trans struggles #transmisandry #nonbinary #transmasc #trans #ftm #queer #transphobia #transphobia tw #tw transphobia

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rivetgoth · 2 years

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Honestly being FTM & like. transitioning and passing and living as a man in my daily life but also being visibly GNC is such an isolating experience in the damn community fr. Everyone talks about GNC trans men as monolithically pre-everything. “Support GNC trans men, it’s valid to have boobs! it’s valid to not be on T!” etc etc, while the majority of transitioning trans men are like. Short masc haircuts, masc men’s clothes, talking abt the gym and wanting to be perceived as manly and venting abt their hair growing out too long and often their disdain for femininity tbqh… I’m sorry but there is never ever any space for trans men who are perceived as gender nonconforming/effeminate men. All trans man discourse is either “is it valid to be a trans man who looks like a woman?” or “how do I look more like the most normal cis[het] man ever?” and I never ever ever see space for men who have been on T for years who have undergone surgery and plan to get more who have long hair who wear jewelry who get called faggots by strangers who have full beards who wear women’s clothing. Etc etc etc.

I think in particular being alternative/a rivethead/goth really doesn’t help cuz I do think that goth/industrial male style is pretty unique in that you’re apart of a community FULL of men who are just as nonconforming as you and who often aren’t even “queer”/LGBT, it’s not even necessarily considered GNC in those spaces in the same way it is in mainstream society, like I don’t consider people like Peter Steele or Nivek Ogre or Robert Smith wildly “GNC” really, not to the point that that’s the first way I’d describe them, and none of them are [openly] queer, but I swear to god 99% ov the time when transmasc spaces talk about being “GNC” they include a ton of traits that these guys have… whereas I could not count on both my fingers & toes the amount of guys I see with long hair or jewelry or whatever every single time I go to goth night or a concert or whatever. I passed in goth clubs bathrooms before I passed anywhere else for real like it feels so foreign to see trans guys talk about what constitutes GNC or not when I’m legit often dressed more masculine than my male peers but fall into every single category they consider GNC or fem… I don’t even really consider myself “fem” but I think I’m objectively GNC because of my style and mannerisms, I’m GNC in my behavior even when I’m dressing more masculine in ways that I couldn’t suppress if I tried/I wouldn’t want to anyway, I don’t mind my effeminate mannerisms and I cannot express that not a single one of these effeminate mannerisms stop me from passing, and I’m consistently just read as a gay or effeminate man… except maybe the few times I’ve been mistaken for a trans woman 🤪

IDK. I have the goth community that’s what matters I guess but damn, it’s crazy how something like that can isolate you from the mainstream FTM community so much because there just doesn’t really seem to be a space for transitioning effeminate guys. It’s like, the only option is “gender nonconforming, not passing, and not transitioning” or “gender conforming, passing, and transitioning.” There is never any dialogue for transitioning gender nonconforming men, transitioning men who pass as faggots, trans men who are neither masc or fem, transitioning alternative trans men, etc etc… And I’m sorry but y’all have no real world experience whatsoever if you think “GNC man” can only ever mean “man who is perceived as a woman.”

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genderkoolaid · 2 years

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hey it is super cool if u don't wanna answer this bc it's a lil explicit but. i am Struggling. i want to get phallo. very much so. but i can't imagine being satisfied with phallo unless i can ejaculate. and afaik that's not possible rn, and my bottom dysphoria is really bad, and i just. advice? i don't have any issues w current phallo results besides the ejaculation thing, and i'm seriously thinking abt just going tor it but i think having an orgasm with a penis and not being able to ejaculate will make *orgasming* dysphoria-inducing for me and. well. that's not ideal. esp after what T did to my sex drive.

I think it comes down to whether or not you feel that the benefits of getting phallo would outweigh the negatives. If that potential dysphoria from orgasming feels like it would be too much for the potential euphoria/relief to balance out, then it makes sense to not get it.

I have similar dysphoria and personally, I have found that working through internalized transandrophobia related to bottom surgery, and body positivity/neutrality in relation to penises in general, has helped me a lot in accepting the limitations of phallo and not fearing potential dysphoria (or potential non-ideal sensation) a lot. I don't want to tell you "just read some stuff and you will stop wanting a natal dick", but if you really want phallo and its just this stopping you, this could be useful to try.

First of all, keeping in mind that natal penises are extremely diverse in ability has been very helpful for me. There are natal penises that also cannot ejaculate; it in no way means that phallo penises are less than natal penises. It's just how some penises work. A lot of cis men deal with the same feelings that trans men getting phallo do. There's a lot of pressure put on people who want phallo for theirs to be perfect, otherwise its proof that phallo is bad and ugly and pointless and a mistake. So phallo penises looking "off" or not getting hard naturally or not ejaculating can feel even worse because of that internalized fear that phallo dicks will always be inferior and a mistake. But phallo doesn't need to be perfect; neither do natal dicks. Getting phallo should be about making yourself happy and fulfilled, not ticking the right boxes on How Penises Need To Work To Be Valid.

I accept that it's something I'll probably always want. But I also think about how happy it would make me, and how many other people with penises still live their lives and are happy and fulfilled while also having a penis that doesn't function perfectly. Its not some scary, ominous struggle, its just a thing a lot of people deal with, and a lot of people still find happiness with. If you can learn to accept that desire and that pain, there's a lot of people who still have a lot of good sex and are happy with their bodies despite not being able to ejaculate. I can imagine myself being one of them, and that idea feels better than my current reality. So I feel that, despite the limitations that are disappointing, its worth it for me. If some really cool advancements are made in my lifetime that I can get, that's awesome! And if not, I'll still be happy with what I'm able to get.

I don't know if this will help you, anon, but I wish you the best. I know it's genuinely hard deciding what's right for you, and it sucks that phalloplasty is still stigmatized and ignored. I hope that, whatever you end up doing with your body, you are happy.

#m.#ask box

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henrioo · 7 months

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I'm going to stop writing GN imagines and write only Males

You know, when I started this blog I had a very fixed idea of why I would only write for GN readers. It was basically "imagines should not have gender because everyone deserves a chance to identify and be included in them".

And I still very much agree with this idea, I don't think we should treat imagines as something just feminine or masculine, but try to give everyone a chance

But lately I've been having a lot of dysphoria attacks, honestly just looking at myself in the mirror makes me want to cry because I feel like I'll never be a real man... And then enter my comfort bubble and find 80% of the images being feminine and being so feminine that it is impossible for you to read it while pretending is not, because basically with every sentence they remind you that it's feminine with nicknames, etc., it seems like it only hurts more

Lately I haven't been feeling very good about my transition in general, I had a crisis yesterday because of trying tape binding and it didn't get the result I wanted and it just made me cry myself to sleep as I ripped the tape off my chest and thought about all my life choices and trans transition

And as much as I can't force other people to write there are Masc, even because I understand that fem people aren't comfortable with that, I thought, if it bothers me so much to read something feminine and sometimes even GN, why don't I start writing for male readers?

And honestly I haven't decided yet, there are many things to consider, you know? Of course, it would probably make me feel better to have user-friendly content, I could create content that very little exists, I could meet more men (trans or cis) and have more friendships like that because I usually only have female friends, It could also indirectly encourage other people to try writing in other genres for the reader

But I also have to consider that, not many people read male content, my numbers will probably drop and although that shouldn't be something to consider, I'm not going to lie, numbers do affect me because I'm very insecure and I seek validation in everything I do, Furthermore, many of my followers could leave and this would affect me not because of numbers but because I like to consider my followers my buddies, people to talk to and interact with, and if now I don't have much interaction with them since they are a good number, if they decrease I think I will basically be talking to myself (please followers talk to me I want to interact with you please let's be friends)

So I don't know, I'm not very good at comparing what's worth more or what's worth less, maybe I'll have to wait until my therapy to discuss this further with my therapist

I just know that lately I'm very tired, tired of existing as a trans person in general, not having support from practically anywhere is slowly killing me. I don't think that imagines male would be the solution to all my problems, but I think they could give me a little comfort again, of writing and being able to read something that affirms my gender, at least in a story knowing that it affirms my gender

Since I can't have support from real people I'm going to write myself receiving support from my favorite characters, I think that just less will make me feel a little better

This was just supposed to be a brief warning that I was going to write male readers but as always I vented and talked too much

#henri talk #one piece x reader #one piece #one piece x you #one piece imagine #one piece x male reader

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astxrwar · 6 months

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some of the transmasc! mig hcs rub me the wrong way. ranting transgenderishly abt it. sorrie

1. why are so many ppl defaulting to giving him top surgery scars. look at his body shape, his hips are narrow and his shoulders are broad and he’s over 6’5 lmao. dude would have been on blockers then T as an early teenager. you don’t need top surgery then. unless you construct a narrative where he went off of T for like… at least a year (but probably longer) without getting a complete hysterectomy first then this makes no sense.

it just feels like ppl dont know that much abt transmasc experiences we r not all the same and top surgery scars r not just a thing you slap on to trans someone, not all of us require top surgery + cis guys get top surgery too? just giving uneducated

2. also the fact that it seems like it just doesn’t ever occur to ppl that trans men get bottom surgery. ig that’s an in general issue but why does it seem like every hc’ed trans man character always has a pussy. plenty of us have dicks bro it just feels fetish-y. plenty of us only pass on surgery bc it’s A Lot but it’s 2099 so that’s going to be less of an issue,,, specific to miguel like. why is nobody giving him bottom surgery scars like the fact that there’s not an equal or even rly existing rep for that in a world where getting it would be INFINITELY easier makes me uncomfy it’s rly giving ‘trans men as men-lite” energy

3. also for written content same deal why is nearly every trans guy hced as one who doesn’t get bottom surgery and why is there always SO MUCH focus on specifically using the word pussy. like bitch! an example of a common thing for transmascs: i dew naught even write fem!RC content using that word i avoid almost all fem-genitalia words bc they’re extremely uncomfy to me, and that phenomenon amongst trans men is even more common than trans men who have had bottom surgery. so we have an excess of content focusing on ‘guy with pussy’ and very little if any content even just recognizing a significant amount of trans men r not okay with that terminology n often do not even like engaging their natal anatomy beyond their dicks (significant number of us also use this word and not the other one! btw!!) during sex. n ppl don’t want to write abt this bc it doesn’t fit the fetish!! im doing murder!!

4. i saw someone ranting wrt trans!mig abt how ppl make male characters transmasc to make mlm ships “less gay” wrt: sex and its just like. im going to kill u too! trans men get bottom surgery bro trans men have dicks! plenty of the ones that don’t just straight up do not do PIV! way to hit the nail on the head wrt fandoms seeing trans men as men-lite lmao and way to miss the opportunity for criticism of fandom transphobia by just. validating that perception of trans men.

idk im just so tired where is my trans miguel no top surgery scars (bc he clearly got T at puberty onset) + with bottom surgery scars content :/ arm scar from the nerve + torso scar from the graft, it’s 2099 they’ve probably perfected skin expanders atp so it would just be like. one scar instead of the scar + stretched area but like. i digress. can we please have trans men with dicks content Ever? the abject lack of it kinda feels like left wing version of rw “c*ntboy” fetishism lol. im going to make some myself bc it is an outlet to deal with my Frustration abt this and explore how all trans ppl have different transitions narratively and counter the reductive fandom goggles perception of us. in general i wish the majority of ppl just didn’t do trans hcs until it stops just being a clear and obvious extension of fetishization and stereotyping. throttling ppl biting and maiming and tearing

also like there’s so many ppl who just think trans men who get bottom surgery r gross but won’t admit it and they especially shan’t see the light of heaven and should stop even thinking abt trans men at all <3

#it just feels like. ‘omg guy with pussy 😍😍’#and im killing u with a big rock if u think this way abt trans men #bc not only do men get bottom surgery a lot of us dont use that shit at all even if we dont!#just. sigh. the way that i feel like trans fetishism is two-pronged #comes from ppl who profess to hate us but also from ppl who profess support. and like. why. be normal pls.#astxrwar.txt #miguel o'hara

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transmascrage · 2 years

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Tags by @transmonarch

I looked it up and you're right.

Transmascs face more domestic violence than cis men and women, maybe even more than transfemmes (although I'm sure that there are a lot of factors in this, and I don't men to diminish transfemmes' experiences of DV).

Source 1 (very important, this page helps to identify domestic abuse specifically for transgender men, check it out. There's also resources for queer people in general.)

Transgender men are less likely to acknowledge abuse because the experience of domestic abuse is strongly tied to women and other feminine-of-centre identities. Admitting that a partner is being abusive may feel like you are undermining your identity as a man. Abusers may use language which plays on these fear to convince you that you are not “man enough” or that you are blowing things out of proportion. It’s important to remember that people of all genders and gender expressions experience can experience abuse and face the traumatic emotions that result from it.

Transgender men who come out or begin transition may face abuse similar to misogynist abuse of women in relationships, particularly to do with control or punishment for the ways in which they dress or act. This abuse can be physical, verbal, emotional or sexual, and is often extremely distressing because it not only dehumanises you, but also demonstrates contempt for your gender identity and the ways you choose to express that. In some situations, abusers may pretend that their controlling behaviours are for your own good or that they are attempting to stop you from attracting transphobic abuse from outside the relationship.

Source 2

FORGE, the nonprofit I direct policy and programs for, conducted a national study in 2011 that was approved by the Morehouse College School of Medicine Institutional Review Board and funded by the Office for Victims of Crime. Our survery was answered by 1,005 trans people. That study shows that transmasculine individuals were actually more likely to be victims of childhood sexual assault, adult sexual assault, dating violence, domestic violence, and stalking than were transfeminine individuals (as shown in the chart below).

The only category in which trans women were more likely to be victimized was by hate violence, and even there the difference was small: 30 percent of trans women reported having experienced hate violence, compared to 29 percent of trans men.

(Note: this doesn't mean the violence that transfemmes face is less valid! In fact, it just makes me want to help transfemmes more, there's no animosity!)

Source 3 (This is a study about the treatment of transgender people in DV cases)

Source 4 (A video by a trans man who was a victim of DV)

As usual, there are very few sources about transmascs specifically, but that's still something.

#lgbtq community #lgbtq #transmasc #transandrophobia #tw abuse #tw domestic violence #transunitism #transmisoginy

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alexissara · 1 year

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Fantasy Vs Sexuality Labels

"They don't even have words for it because it is so common and normal that people simply exist." This sentiment is a frequent trope of fictional worlds in reference to queer people's existence. Today, I would like to challenge the idea that people wouldn't have labels even in a "Perfect Non Binary Bisexual Utopia" and unpack everything involved in these conversations.

What Is Homophobia/Transphobia

I know this sounds obvious but I want to explain it beyond like, the obvious part of it. We're skipping past the bigots with guns stuff because that is not all that this kind of bigotry is. If we live in a society that expects you to reproduce that in itself is a form of homophobia. Yes with a trans partner you can have a same gender bio baby but that is if their treatments don't stop them from having babies and also it be a transphobic ask of trans people to be the reporductive labor force for all cis gays.

If society still assigns people genders and has gendered expectations then we also have a form of transphobia even if you remove gendered expectation what are the barriers to transition social and physical and do you need to transition to be seen as valid? Do queer couples exist as a prominent feature of the world not a rare side show? Do women still have some degree of expected submission and do men have some kind of expected dominance?

Homophobia and Transphobia are baked into the way we think about things in the world. People assign kids gender, gender clothing, accessories, manners of setting, etc, etc. And these genderings are tied to the idea of a future partner. Even subverting these genderings often makes one assume something about their sexuality and not just their taste. Subverting heterosexuality or cisgender status is rarely unchallenged even when it's not a violent bigot.

Transphobia and Homophobia are parts of the system, parts that assume all men want to leer over women, that all women want a strong man, that all men should aspire to one of a few roles and the same to women, that non binary people simply do not exist or are some light version of one of the two binary options. It isn't just like yelling the F slur or doing a terrible thing to a queer person.

Let's say we have a princess, there is no bigotry in the world but she is a lesbian, the waring kingdom only has one child a son and to end the war a political marriage is arranged. That is still homophobia even if otherwise the parents would have totally respected the sexuality of the princess. That's just one small sample but we're gonna go into the systems of power and why queerness doesn't even really work like this example, right now, below the keep reading thing.

Why Does Homophobia and Transphobia Exist

Transphobia and homophobia are systems of control. The people with power must create roles for people and they must maintain that power. The creation of strict binary gender and heterosexuality as a standard were both systems of control of people.

Gender denoted an ownership class and the owned class. He Yin Zhen has proposed the creation of ownership of women came from war where men would take women as prizes and with the women at home simply accepting it eventually it bleed to effect them when women began prizes to be won in war rather then part of the society. This bleed into many societies, mutated, changed and we gained the patriarchy as it stands now. The fascists advocating against queer people are almost always looking for a time where "women were women and men were men" aka men were the owners and women were the owned class.

A system of hiarchay needs strange ways to justify itself. For the rich to keep getting smaller and smaller they need systems that explain their wealth and they also need people to serve them. This need for people to serve them leads to anti queer politics, they want a reproductive class even other men must be part of this class who are poor to create servants for the rich.

Transness acts in defiance of all these structures by inherently challenging the gendered power of control. If someone is cast a role and can change it then it becomes a lot harder to justify oppression based on their gender. Property can't decide things for itself and therefore trans men aren't exist to them and to chose to become a property class removes the fake superiority they created.

What Does It Say To Have A World Without Bigotry But Still Has Oppression

So given all of the above, when we make a world without bigotry we are talking about a Utopia. We'll talk more about Utopia's in a bit but right now let's focus on the reality that most these stories that describe themselves as being a world without labels are worlds with strict hierarchy, class based oppression, etc, etc.

When these things happen we start to create myths about how the systems of power can be better. It presents a reformist view inherently and ignores the way these governments use their heels to oppress it's people. It also removes the fact we have interconnected struggles, that oppression against one of us is oppression against all of us. It also ignores that fact that even if the only oppression is class in the world that in the real world the poorest people are typically queer folks of color. We start to whitewash oppression by pretending a black trans lesbian being the oppressor of poor white people is something progressive or something.

Instead it's just conservative propaganda, it's the meritocracy, that no matter who we are we can be anything and is it possible for someone to make it to role of chief oppressor in theory, sure but in practice it is highly rare.

This is only made worse when queerness or queer coding is actively assigned to like terrible fascist governments pretending that a government who killed people for X trait like magic would be cool with gay people. It starts to paint the picture of the evil queer elite pulling the strings, the full fascist make believe fantasy.

Utopian Call For Labels

Now let's say your writing a chill story set in an actual utopia, capitalism has been destroyed, reparations have been made, we've removed the systems of oppression and we live in this lovely world. Then we would still have the history, the labels people have used and the words people have used. What kind of people do you like dating and then everyone has no preference simply would not happen. People will have taste and it is easier to use a general term, maybe one that is historically used to describe the taste you have in romance.

If we lived in a world that never had bigotry, never had bad things happening, people have still used labels. If we look at indigenous cultures across the world many which hard multiple genders had explicitly used labels for those genders, why if people wouldn't naturally label themselves? There is a use for being able to say "i am a person who needs this kind of medical care so my body can look the way I want it to look", there is a use to be able to say "I don't date men", or whatever else without having to say that every time.

Labels are a very useful thing we have as humans. We can say fun very specific things and much broader general things. It is nice to be able to say I am A Fire Emblem fan but also more so an Edelgard fan and that says something about me and to a similar extent saying I am a lesbian but more particularly a trans asexual lesbian is a nice way at a glace of painting a picture for someone even if my experience will not be the same as others.

Labels also allow us to find community with one another. Outside of having to explain to people things, the very idea of having a name for a group allows that group to find one another then share with each other. It is nice to be able to go to a lesbian event and meet other lesbians. It's nice to go to a trans event and be able to talk to other trans people. Even in a utopian world without the words it would be hard to share like innovation in HRT with each other if we didn't know who to communicate that with.

Conclusion

This isn't saying that I want stories to focus around homophobia, I don't, I actually much prefer happy queer stories then sad ones. What I am saying is that we don't need our worlds to be unrealistic to be happy and we don't need to strip ourselves of our labels to be progressive. There is no reason for people not to say they are a Lesbian, Bisexual, Gay, Queer, etc, etc, etc in fiction or some made up word or some word from some other language that means a similar thing.

Regardless of the tone of our story we can realize that we live in the real world where people live with their actual sexualities and being represented matters to them so having a bisexual character say they are bisexual and a lesbian character say they are a lesbian matters. Trans people saying they are trans matters. We can do representation that is explicit, clear and focused. Doing that also makes it easier to tell the messier queer stories of people who aren't sure of their sexuality, that's sexuality and gender shifts, that don't line up perfectly with their labels. When we start to define things we can actually talk about them and be critical of them and engage with them in real ways.

I don't think treating our words like a dirty little secret is what we should be striving for as a utopian ideal, I want a world where people are happily openly lesbians, gay, bi, trans, asexual, bigender, non binary, etc.

Not to mention very often this kind of "we don't use labels" really exists to just say queer subtext is canon to people who are queer and just playful for straight audiences. It is a way to avoid defining a queer politics or angering people. It is not real representation most often it is not done in good faith but for a company to play it safe.

#Queerness #Queer Politics #Lesbian #Gay #Queer #labels #sexuality labels #writing #fiction

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