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7ndipity · 2 months

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Them With An Autistic S/o

Ot7 x Reader

Summary: How the members would handle/react to their S/o being on the spectrum.

Warnings: Mentions of sensory issues, feeling over/under stimulated, depression, meltdowns, stimming.

A/N: Thanks to the lovely anon who requested this! This is a list I’ve actually wanted to write for a while, but I’d been slightly nervous/unsure about it. But as someone who’s also on the spectrum, I know how much comfort similar posts from other blogs have brought me! I also tried to keep this one a bit lighter, since someone asked for a separate list about meltdowns/shutdowns, but if there’s any specific reactions/hcs like this that you guys want, let me know! (Please note that these are based off my own knowledge/experience, so I’m sorry if they don’t fit for everyone)

Masterlist

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Jin:

I feel like he’d be slightly confused and worried at first because he’s not sure what to do/how to help you, but once you explain a bit more, he gets a lot more comfortable, and really is such a good caregiver when he needs to be.

Catches onto your different stims pretty quickly and what each one means.

Like, y’all have whole conversations solely through funny little hums and stim noises.

Really good at reading and matching your mood/energy. You wanna talk about the Mayans nonstop for two hours? Cool! You want to just sit silently and do nothing? Also cool!

He’s really good at normalizing your symptoms and making them seem like nbd(because to him, they aren’t) Food sensitivities? He’s got them too! You hate loud noises and crowds? Same Honey, let’s get the fuck outta here! He knows they’re not quite the same thing, of course, but if it makes you feel more comfortable and safe being your true, unmasked self with him, then that’s all that matters to him.

Really good at calming you down when you feel overwhelmed or on the verge of meltdown.

Does his absolute best to bring your mood up whenever you’re struggling or feeling really down, pulling out his best dad jokes(even if they don’t make sense to you), bringing your favorite snacks, etc.

Yoongi:

I think he would handle it really well. Does his research after you tell him, and asks you about it casually during dates/hangouts.

So fucking respectful of your boundries. If you prefer to have your own space, he’s totally fine letting you do your own thing. If you need more closeness and cuddles, he’s all over that too, letting you sit right next to him while he works.

Not only lets you rant about your special interests, but makes the effort to take interest in them and asks questions. Randomly buys you little things related to them.

He’s so calming and soothing when you’re feeling stressed or overstimulated, understanding whenever you randomly need rest or quiet time(stress nap buddies)

Keeps things like extra sunglasses and headphones in his bag for you, just in case you forget yours.

Would have a lot of fun if you have audio stims, letting you listen to his new songs because your reactions and enthusiasm are so cute to him. Makes you panning audios as gifts.

Always there to look out for you whenever executive dysfunction decides to kick your ass. Washes the dishes, doing the laundry, restocking your safe foods, etc. He would also be really good at body doubling.

Hobi:

I honestly think he would be really good with an S/O on the spectrum. Like, he literally designed Mang, who is soo ND coded like omg😭, so I think he would be able to understand you really well.

(if you haven’t seen the videos of him talking about Mang’s personality and character traits during the re-design process last year, pls go watch them, I almost cried)

Loves buying you new fidgets and stim toys whenever he finds new ones to try(he even has a collection of chewlery that he wears bc he thinks they’re neat).

Is really good reading you and distracting you when you start to get overstimulated or anxious, sometimes noticing before you do.

Lowkey protective over you in spaces and situations he knows are stressful for you, positioning himself next to you whenever he spots things he knows bother you.

You know how Yoongi described him as a vitamin? That’s how it is for you now too.💛

He’s so stimmy himself, so he would find a lot of your stims really relatable and endearing. Like, if you start happy stimming, he can’t help but join right in, bouncing or squealing with you. It makes him so happy that you feel comfortable enough with him to share those parts of yourself with him.

Namjoon:

Instantly super supportive when you told him, making an effort to research on his own, as well as listening to your personal experiences to understand as much as possible.

Happily sits and lets you info-dump about your special interests. He honestly loves seeing you so passionate and animated about whatever you’re talking about and loves getting a glimpse into how your mind works(it was probably during one of these moments that he realized he was in love with you)

Surprisingly good pebbler, he’s always finding cool rocks or shells for your collections.

Doesn’t mind speaking for you on days when you’re nonverbal.

The sweetest when you’re feeling overstimulated. He closes all the curtains to make it dark and cozy and sits with you, talking as softly as needed or not talking at all, tapping your hand gently now and then to let you know he’s still there.

Soo protective over you, almost to a fault at times. Like, you might have to scold him once or twice about babying you, but he really doesn’t mean to, he just wants to make sure you’re safe and happy.

The world feels a lot less scary tho with him next you. You know if you need anything, he’s got your back.

Jimin:

The softest boi🥺 He was honestly a little scared when you first told him, because he didn’t want to do anything wrong and was worried he wouldn’t be ‘good’ at looking after you, but he quickly relaxed and grew more confident as he learned more from you.

The best comforter when you’re feeling overwhelmed or depressed, full of quiet reassurances and long hugs(if you’re okay with those). He’ll gladly cuddle with you under your weighted blanket for however long you need to feel better.

Literally set up a little “nest” for you at his place with a like beanbag chair and your favorite types of blankets/pillows, so you have your own place to just ‘be’ and recoup when you need it.

Carries fidget toys and sensory aids like sunglasses and headphones with him at all times, just in case you need them.

Really good at communicating with you on days when you’re nonverbal, whether through texts or little notes(which he always adds little doodles on to make your smile😊)

Makes sure you never feel guilty or like a burden to him for letting him in on those tougher days. If anything, they make him love you even more because of the trust you have in him.

It really makes him feel so proud and happy inside that you find so much comfort in his presence and that he gets to take care of you.💜

Taehyung:

Another that I think would be particularly good with a neurodivergent S/O. Like, everyone jokes about how he’s weird, so I think he’d love that you’re both your kind of own unique kinds of ‘weird’.

Happily rewatches your favorite comfort shows/films with you, and speaks in fluent film quotes with you.

Loves when you fidget and stim with his hands or fingers.

If you like pressure stims, he’s a dream come true. Like, the man’s a living weighted blanket, so when you basically give him a doctor's note for cuddles? He’s never gonna let you go.

As relaxed as he might come across sometimes tho, he’s super observant of your stims and triggers and takes it so seriously whenever you start feeling overwhelmed or stressed.

It doesn’t matter where you are or what you’re doing, if you need a break, he’s getting you to a quiet place where you can sit and just recalibrate.

Rivals Jin and Yoongi for top spot in the acts of service department on your bad days, making sure you eat properly, doing any household chores that need done. He even learned how to wash your weighted blanket so you don’t have to.

Jungkook:

Was definitely a little lost and overwhelmed when you first explained everything to him, but he really takes it in stride and tries to learn as much as possible to help make things easier for you where he can.

The King of comfort squeezes. Like you’ve seen his arms, he gives the best hugs, I just know it(especially on those “the weighted blanket isn't enough, I need a hydraulic press” days)

Loves learning about your special interests. Like, It’s no longer just your special interest, it’s our special interest. He’s even studying and finding things for it on his own to surprise you with.

Honestly plays with some of your fidget toys more than you do, lol! You might even end up giving him a few of his favorites😊

Gets super happy and smiley whenever you get echolalia of his songs.

Another member of the protective squad, ain’t no bad stimuli getting to his baby if he can help it!

The gentlest with you when you're overstimulated or having a tough day. Anything you need, he’ll do without question. All he cares about is making sure that you feel safe and comfortable🥺

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @feminympho @a-gayish-unicorn @dfqcsqueen @mother2monsters @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz

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elysianymph · 8 months

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🔥 anything about sirius because i am being a little hater towards some characterisations too

i've already talked your ears off about this on discord but i'm happy to talk to about it again bc i fucking HATE new sirius black with a burning passion. i hate him as much as i love my sirius black that marauderstok can pry from my cold dead hands bc i'm not letting him go. i don't know when it happened and why but marauders fans are particularly persistent on taking away any interesting traits sirius had and leaving behind a whimpering pathetic twink that cries when someone looks at him the wrong way. sirius has been scrubbed clean of any morally grey traits he might've had (he's not allowed to care for his family (unless it's regulus) or long for them bc they are bad, he's not allowed to have any prejudices even though he was literally raised with pureblood mentality and taught he was superior to everyone else from the day he was born, he's not allowed to be an asshole bc he's not like his family guys!! and when he is an asshole it's always used to victimize the character he's being an asshole to and sirius is painted as the villain with mommy issues that can only be fixed by getting dicked down apparently)

i cannot stress this enough: LET THIS MAN BE A COMPLEX CHARACTER!! and no, giving him mental illnesses that miraculously disappear when he gets together with remus and making him attempt to kill himself post prank because he feels bad is NOT making him complex! you're just weird. you're just romanticizing mental illnesses and i can't believe you don't see anything wrong with it. giving him bipolar to justify his actions is?? not??? representation??? it's offensive to people who actually have to deal with these issues in their day to day lives and yet here you are using something that will impact their life forever as a plot device for your uwu sadboy mlm fanfic.

and that's what new sirius boils down to. he's a plot device, an accessory to everyone else's story that's never given much depth other than "oh his mom used the cruciatus on him and now he's traumatized". no hate to jegulus but hate to specific jegulus fics that turn sirius into an overdramatic caricature of his former self for the sake of drama and angst.

also, some of these wolfstar shippers... wtf are you guys on?? idk when and why (that's a lie i do but i'm not gonna say it) remus became sirius black in a werewolf costume but here we are. oh sirius was cool and effortlessly smart and handsome and girls wanted him? well guess what? snatches all of those character traits and throws them onto remus they're his character traits now. ignore how it doesn't make any sense for the werewolf child who was isolated from the rest of the world to be a smooth talking alpha casanova who plays basketball actually. while we're at it, ignore how unrealistic it is for a boy who was raised in a family that believed they were superior to everyone else based on blood status, who was raised to be the perfect heir and checked off all the traits needed to be one to be insecure?? and unsure of himself?? and stupid??? and a loser??? i don't understand what the point of flipping the wolfstar dynamic was when you're left with a shallow copy of the original but ok. you do you ig.

to summarize, my sirius is cool and effortlessly smart and egotistical and a complete asshole who thinks he's the best thing ever. is it an act to cover up how damaged he thinks he is because of his family? possibly. but i also fully believe sirius thought he was a god amongst men and everyone should be glad to be in his presence. he talked down to other people because he considered himself smarter, he rolled his eyes when students asked stupid questions and made fun of them when they got an answer wrong. he's a teenage boy let him be a dick with no excuses.

(also i find it funny when people write about sirius getting into a fight with james or remus and crying because they said something mean. as if sirius wouldn't throw hands the moment someone started criticizing him. he's toxic and that's what makes him interesting. that's his purpose! characters exist to make stories interesting, to start drama, not to be your moral guide on how to act. stories become so much more fun once you let go of the need to make every character a good person. also liking a character doesn't equal liking them as a person. i love sirius but i would hate his guts irl)

#i feel like i can never fully write what i want to say and i hate it #wish i could take you guys on a tour of my brain. it's crazy up in here #thank you for letting me talk zandra it's almost like you knew what was bothering me znjzjzj #it's really not that deep (i say after writing an entire post about it)#(it's not i just like to talk to myself and hope someone will listen bc i am very very passionate can you tell?)#sirius black #mwpp #marauders #marauders era #nymph answers #hating hours 🔥#just to be safe #tw mental illness #tw sui attempt

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cupid-styles · 6 months

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Ok I know you said you’re tired so no pressure but I just had an idea for ymls so ima send it in and maybe for concepts laterrrrr <3

Ok ok ok so I know ymls started out as an enemies to lovers kind of thing but developed from there which has been the loveliest development 🫠 (seriously one of my absolute favs) but what about the night they met? ‘Cause you did a blurby on the first night they hooked up (thank u) but I had this thought that like, the first night they met, if they were all out with friends, y/n would be extra grumpy because she’d be irritated at how attractive and enigmatic he was and she didn’t wanna be drawn to someone like that bc literally who does and so he’d be flirting with everyone bc that’s just his personality which would annoy her even more bc she’s so (adorably) grumpy and so she would make an effort to talk to everyone but him and then THAT WAY you could have the little blurby/one shot you’d intended about them actually being enemies and like witty banter (which as we’ve seen obviously develops into H being a total softie and a total simp for y/n)

Can u tell I relate to a grumpy y/n

Just a thought do NOT mind me if you hate it

I LOVE THIS VERY MUCH TY HERES A LITTLE BLURBIE FOR YA (I changed it a little bc I got carried away LOL)

part of the ymls universe!!!!!

content warnings: none!

masterlist | talk to me

. . .

"God, he's so annoying."

Lea scoffs from beside Y/N, who looks on as Harry waltzes effortlessly around the bar, making any and everyone his biggest fan. She doesn't understand how he does it — or even why he does it — but they both know he's charismatic enough to convince anyone to sleep with him, bail him out of jail, or sell him their house. Or, all of the above.

"I don't understand why you're being so mean," Lea replies as Y/N wraps her lips around her straw, sipping her cocktail, "He's actually really nice."

"Yeah, I can fucking see that."

Lea snorts and shakes her head. "You could probably learn a thing or two from him, actually."

Y/N glares at her and slides her elbows off the bar, rising from the barstool and walking back over to their booth. She doesn't know who this guy thinks he is. Dom brought him tonight, apparently they work together, and everyone just... welcomed him, like he's the son of god or something. There was never a question of whether or not he fit in, and no one asked one another if they liked him. It was irritating because in fact, everyone loved him. Except Y/N, of course.

She'd known him for all of three hours and found his flirtatious nature annoying. She didn't have an issue with his kindness, but it had to be for show, didn't it? No one was actually that nice all the time. She would pay big bucks just to see him properly angry. Maybe then she would like him more.

"Wipe that scowl off your face. You look like you're gonna go on a murder spree."

Y/N rolls her eyes as she slides into the booth, ignoring the typical teasing coming from Dom.

"Me? I could never."

He chuckles and wraps a loose arm around her shoulders, leaning down to catch her ear. "He's the nicest guy ever. You're being really silly, Y/N."

She shrugs his arm off of her, "I don't have to like him."

"That's true," he says with a nod. They both look up to watch him flirt effortlessly with a blonde across the room, a wide toothy grin taking over her face as she laughs, reaching out to run her fingers over his bicep. Y/N resists gagging. "But you don't have a valid reason to hate him."

"I do, actually. He's flirted with nearly half of the bar."

"So you're slut-shaming him?"

"I am not." Y/N mutters.

"Don't look now, but he's coming this way."

She tries not to groan as she glances up. Sure enough, this mysterious Harry plops down at the booth, an empty glass in his large hand.

"You guys need refills?"

She goes to shake her head, but Dom cuts her off. "I think Y/N does, actually. Oh, and could you grab me one while you're up there?"

She sends him a glare through squinted eyes, grumbling as he forces her out of the booth. She passes Harry, continuing her trek up to the bar, and rolls her eyes when she feels him scrambling to catch up to her.

"Hey, Y/N, right?"

She nods, ignoring his presence beside her.

"Nice to meet you. I don't think we got a chance to talk tonight."

"Yeah." she says curtly, waving down the bartender. He misses her and she sighs out in frustration.

"Oh, lemme do it," Harry replies, using his taller stature to grab the attention of the bartender. She grumbles and pushes her elbows up onto the surface of the wood. She bets if she'd worn a top with more cleavage tonight, she wouldn't have to rely on Harry. "I'll take another tequila soda, please, and whatever she wants."

Y/N scowls up at him but nevertheless hands him the empty glasses. "Just two vodka crans, thanks."

"Is that your go-to drink?" Harry asks.

"Only when I'm feeling annoyed."

"Tough day at work?"

"Something like that," she mutters, turning around to face him. "What's with this whole nice guy act? Do you go home and secretly play with human bones or something?"

Harry's eyebrows furrow. "Like... like taxidermy?"

"No. Like psychopathy."

"Are you asking me if I'm a psychopath because I'm... nice?"

"Yeah. There's no way you act like this because you want to. It's weird and you're not fooling me."

Their drinks appear on the bar top and Y/N quickly grabs hers and Dom's, walking back to the booth. She sits down at the end so Harry can't take a seat next to her, only for him to slide in across from her. The tension is apparent as Y/N glares at him, and Dom clears his throat awkwardly.

"Harry's a psychopath." she blurts out. She hopes that's enough to maybe push him out of the group, but instead he just breaks out in loud laughter, a stupid, dazzling grin appearing on his face.

"You're funny," he says once he's calmed down from laughing, "I think we're gonna be good friends."

#bestie asks #writing #ymls concept

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johannestevans · 1 year

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i wanted to write a BIG essay on disability in House MD but the thing is that as it goes on the show plays and delves with the themes a bit differently - like in s1 they begin to introduce some addict stuff but not too much, and much less of the big grapples with house's own medical agency etc by his friends and coworkers

so i think i'm gonna do an essay series, set up some main themes around disability and autonomy in house

the first things will obviously be about the nature of house's own disability, firstly talking about his physical disability - yes, the lack of mobility from his leg and his reliance on his cane, and also the chronic pain that that comes with, but also specifically noting that house became disabled later in life and was previously extremely physically active

while the themes of house being an addict are extremely overstated because of the us' manufactured opioid crisis and its dehumanisation of addicts due to its racist and eugenicist "war on drugs", it's also noteworthy that he used to exercise all day every day on top of fucking and playing with substances on the side. no one minded this because his "addiction" to exercise was fun and sexy and healthy, bc he was making his own pain-killing substances rather than taking a pill

and then also talking about house's mental health issues - evidence of his autism and the way that people hate specifically his autistic traits, even when they're not actually causing them problems, and the way in which house masks and performs certain emotional responses, but more so like. his depression and his loss of identity as a disabled man, and his difficulties being OKAY with his disability when everyone around him hates disability

so apart from that evidence, the points of house grappling with this stuff will be:

house bonding with other disabled patients - in cases of chronic pain, lost physical mobility, and also mental illness and/or neurodivergence

and house specifically understanding disabled people's perspectives, or thinking about the PRACTICAL needs of the person they're treating or engaging with rather than what society cares about or what the hospital thinks is "appropriate" or "proper"

house bullying abled people for being Weird

times where house makes commentary about the injustice of the system (when he points out that the hospital is designed not to treat the poor, chronically sick, etc)

house being anxious and defensive of his own bodily autonomy (eg when ppl are trying to control his pain management or force him into systems that don't work, take over his medical autonomy, in general try to physically control his behaviours)

esp bc season 1 culminates in the stacy episode where we find that like... so much of house's trauma is not just being disabled

but the fact that stacy OVERRODE his desires, waiting for him to be put into a medically induced coma so that she could make "the best" decision for him and literally being the cause of his current disability. esp bc like...

she specifically went for the middle ground that he rejected, she was NOT a doctor

and in so doing she. invented his chronic pain. like there's a reason that in that same episode, we see the volleyball player who gets an amputation and is able to go back to sports - yes, house is a lot older than that volleyball player, but like

if he had either treated the infarction successfully or just got an amputation so that he could later work with a prostheses, house thinks he would have done much better

and so much of his TERROR around trusting others - not just stacy but wilson, cuddy, anybody else - is because of that. the one person he loved and trusted overrode his desires and created the hell he lives in where he's just in constant agony and he hates it, and the worst part is like

everyone tells him it's his fault. no one cares about what stacy did to him, that she manipulated him. every day they tell house how terrible it is that he does that to others, but when it's what happened to him and he lives in hell, it's on him because he's Mean and Too Autistic and he should just Stop Being In Pain etc

god it kills me.

BUT YEAH i think. season by season is gonna be a lot better to track the development of these themes and the way they shift and change from season to season - also idefk if i'll be able to stick with like. the last three seasons bc they just suck so ba dhfskjjgh

BUT WE'LL SEE

#house md #gregory house

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hyunsvngs · 28 days

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Okay friend. Here's the deal with Woojin from an adult stay who is realistic and (actually) unbiased in the situation. Stays constantly give him shit and tell him to apologize and now that he did, it still isn't good enough.

Short version: Woojin leaving when he did absolutely was shitty and he needed to take accountability for the additional stress added to skz during that time. He's taken accountability a couple of times and it's not enough for aggressive stays who for some reason beg for apologies all the time.

Long version:

Lots of stays use the "he was the oldest in the group" line all because he said he was young and immature and wasn't homie like 20/21? That is young and it is immature. He chose to think of himself first in this situation. It may have been the best decision. If he continued on when his heart wasnt in the right place, his performance likely would have tanked skz success.

Stays are also saying it's too late for him to come out with an apology when he originally did so about a year after leaving. If you don't want him to apologize, stop bringing up his fucking name in association with skz.

Stays claim he's doing this just for his comeback... he's had several releases and did well considering he's practically blacklisted in 4th gen.

Finally, stays love to use the fact that was caught following news about skz. Duh. He was in the group and trained with these guys during formative years. Do we really think he wouldn't care about them? We also don't know what kind of relationship they have because literally no one says anything. And they don't have to because it's not our business.

I get the need to feel like you have to defend your favs- I really do. I'm a skz ult and the whole woojin situation fucking sucked... for them. We have no idea what has happened behind closed doors since then. They may have made up or they may not have. It's not our business. It is likely that he wasn't allowed to speak up for however long die to contractual issues.

Bottom line: 1. Stop asking idols for shit that won't appease you anyway. If you didn't want an apology, you should have stayed out his comment section. 2. Stop taking things personally because you are all just fans who have no idea what's going on.

It probably sounds like I am biased toward Woojin. Believe me when I say I'm not. I am taking the side of stray kids and Woo over the side of stays who literally bully the fuck out of someone who did what was best for him in that moment. Yes it was selfish and it sucks that the boys had to endure that but support the boys without mentioning or tearing down Woojin.

thanks to everyone who sent me asks abt this btw, i’m replying to this one bc i feel like it’s thorough lol

i get what ur saying completely. woojin was still young when he left skz, and i can understand putting yourself first.

however, i can’t have any sympathy for someone who is time and time again using the success of his ex-group to promote himself. i understand following skz news, that’s not the issue here - it’s the fact that woojin seems to be using almost clickbait titles in his videos about the boys to get attention. skz were hurt when woojin left, and this was not just career wise but personally too. i don’t have any sympathy for him and i can’t understand him using skz for clout lol

#juno’s asks ♡#sweet baby anon

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strawberryseeded · 5 months

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thinking abt bllk (no surprise there) and how (at least until now) all (well, most of?) the characters backstories aka basically the reason for their most prominent issues are, instead of extremely tragic and complex events, simply children's logic applied to recurrent situations in their daily lives (and especially the sport they love):

bachira feels lonely: bachira was a weird and lonely kid who was also extremely passionate abt (and talented in) football, more than any other kid, making bachira feel isolated even when he was playing with others. this got even worse when the kids he played with started to resent him, calling him a "monster" and bullying him. while talking with his mom, she told him to keep believing in his inner voice and ignore those who dont understand him, resulting in bachira giving that voice the form of a "monster" that can play football with him to feel less lonely. which, obviously, made him even more lonely, even if it was an imaginary friend created to aliviate that feeling. because bachira still felt lonely, even after many years and even after playing with other people in school who werent any fun for him, he kept the monster by his side. believing no one could ever beat this monster (thank GODNESS he did 🎉!!! HE is the monster no one can beat!!!! his arc is one of my favs hes literally unstoppable now, i love him dude i love h)

isagi holds himself back too much: isagi (i read the light novel abt him hehe) was a timid and mild mannered kid until he discovered football, which he fell in love with. while playing the sport he could let go of his shyness and actually be selfish and go all out. uuuntil... he entered his high school's reputable football club, where the motto was to play as a team above everything else (a very anti-blue lock logic lol). isagi then, in an effort to accomodate to the social norms of the club (bc hes isagi, and off the field hes calmer and timider), had to simmer down in the field as well. supress himself. at times it seems like his on and off switch is kind of stuck.

barou has main character syndrome: barou was a very, on top of talented, meticulous kid and therefore the best in football out of every other kid he knew, who didnt take it as seriously and were more than happy to let him score all the goals. he didnt understand why they were satisfied with letting other people take all the glory, so he secluded himself, convinced that he was the only player that actually mattered on the field. the best. the Main Character. everyone else was completely worthless, their only use being to serve HIM. (until he got his ass kicked by isagi and became the villan instead of the main character, bc oh, shit, barou's not actually the main character???? then he'll hunt down & DESTROY the main character).

rin (god, rin) has a brother complex (i used to hate when ppl oversimplify whats wrong w him w this term but tbh it does boil down to this lol ToT): rin idolized his older brother like crazy and wanted to be just like him. bc he was also blessed with talent and also had a great relationship w sae, he had everything he needed to fulfill his dream of being the 2nd best striker, the 1st obviously being his older brother, who rin viewed as the best, most talented player in the world. when sae comes back from spain and tells him 'the world is big and im not actually the best, you go and be the best striker by yourself' (basically: our (your) dream is over), rin has a fucking breakdown. its not really a tragic, despair-inducing event, objectively speaking. but in the manga its framed as such bc for rin, in his childish logic, it is. bc his brother IS the BEST player, what the fuck do you mean hes not number 1 outside of japan?? ....then what about rin? if his brother cant be the best, rin cant be the 2nd best either, let alone the best. he feels like sae ruined everything, gave up, broke their (rin's) dream!!!! after sae humilliates him, rin directs all of his frustrations at him and bows to defeat him. as long as rin sees himself as sae's little brother, he's never gonna be able to surpass him, bc in rin's mind, sae is still the best, his talented big brother.

ness believes kaiser, not him, is the magician: ness's case is more serious bc his family was (is?) emotionally abusive towards him. basically, like every other kid, ness believed in magic. the concept of magic is exciting for children and gives them, in the form of play, the opportunity to express their creativity and exercise their imagination; work out a way to make the impossible come true. bc this is so important for their development, usually its the parents role to, at least to a certain degree, keep alive the belief that magic is real. ness's parents, on the contrary, shut down this belief bc it didnt match with their own views. they saw his interests as a waste of time, even letting his sibilings bully him and treat him badly to make him give up on them. ness, however, didnt, and instead found a more socially acceptable way to 'do magic' and express his creativity: football. he feared greatly, however, that football would be taken away from him, so in that faithful match in which he met kaiser he decided to put all of his trust and hard work on him, bc ness believed kaiser was the person who would be able to make the impossible, the magic that ness wanted to create, happen. i think the key to unlock his full potential is stop relying on kaiser so much and start believing in his own magic (kind of like what happened in hiori's arc). we have yet to know kaiser's backstory but i have a feeling those two enable each other's worst traits...

ETC !!!! sorry i got tired of writing lol

anyways these r just my interpretations of the characters feel free 2 b like "was is she ON about"

#bachira and barou went thru character development and got over these issues vía isagi being a freak as usual. chigiri and hiori too #nagi is In Process and everyone else is having a miserable time #i thinkkk. im just writing whatever comes 2 mind atm #THE QUESTION IS against WHO will isagi go ALL OUT 100% BERSERK?????? my bet is rin. PERHAPS kaiser.#blue lock #di4ry

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meircury · 2 months

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Hello everyone! I hope everyone have a nice today! I very much rarely engage in fandom directly but there's has been something nagging me for a while, and this has something to do with SOME of Grey and Gauche shippers, alongside SOME of Gauche 'fans', treated him. I'm mostly talking about English speaking side of the fandom. I feel like the need of talk about this because I really hate the way they treated canon Gauche:

(Fair warning: LONG)

I absolutely hate seeing fans turning Grey into another Marie for Gauche or a replacement of his sister and makes him simp for her just like how he acts around Marie. In the story Gauche‘s simping for Marie is called “complex” because he simps out of unhealthy familial love and attachment because of what happened to them in the past and as a result of Gauche’s trust issues. His simping is NOT normal. It’s an ISSUE. FLAW. That needs to be FIXED. Not deflected to someone else. I see a lot of shippers make Gauche shoves his problems into Grey and repeats all his complex action with her. Example, a lot of memes show Gauche being weird about Grey’s photo. Whyy? One of the charms this ship has is how it brings out a unique caring side of Gauche we rarely see, like when he told Grey to work on her magic in the seabed temple, or when she saved him with the bulls after the elf fight. Yeah. That… that side of Gauche acting tsun and shy because he’s not used to be nice or open to others. Yet a lot of fans choose to use his unhealthy simping and shove it to Grey rather than builds upon his established development.

Nosebleeding over Grey. I saw this troupe is used TONS of time by the shippers artists, specifically English/West ones, and it's bothering me A LOT. Like. This troupe is used a lot in western Grey and Gauche shippers community and it's so fucking weird because aren't the same community despise the way anime over exaggerating this troupe at the point it's destroyed gauche's characterization? (For the record, after his arc Gauche only nosebleed for 5 times in manga, while in anime? Idk 50 or smth 😂😂😂) Then why they act the same way with anime with over-using this troupe when he found Grey's cute or adorable or anything sexual? Like, I'm so sorry but this such a huge hypocrisy. Hate the way anime treated him but do the same. Do you know what's ironic? I've seen less of this troupe used in the Japanese bc ship community, where most of them didn't mind the troupe. There's more irony. Most of the nice fanarts and actually depicted their relationship right it's also from JP artists who's not even have Grey and Gauche as their main ship. They're drawing them once in awhile and that's it. It's sad because why ppl who doesn't have them as their main ship understand the ship's dynamic better more than the actual shippers?

Grey Fix Gauche. Grey will Fix Gauche. Oh my God. This is the most cringiest shit ive ever heard when it came to a ship. This is also the biggest reason why I lost all of my love I had for this ship and ended up disliking it. Like. No. Grey ain't fixing Gauche. Gauche is the one who's fixing his own problem. And if you really want to insist of using 'fixing' troupe, then Asta fixing Gauche is way more valid than her. Because, he's the one who changed Gauche's mind. If Asta didn't do this then Gauche will still not giving any shit about Grey. But yeah, I hate the fixing troupe as I'm firm believer one can and SHOULD fix their problem by their own self, not by others. This troupe is problematic and I'll stand by it. That aside, saying her fixing Gauche is literally disrespecting Gauche's own development and the others characters that help him grow up (henry, gordon, Theresa, YAMI). Like, stop. Stop thinking Grey took all of those efforts that's she's not even done. Stop being delusional. Please. Why y'all not trusting him to became a better version of himself by his own efforts? Damn.

Gauche has sister complex and I hope people especially his fans will accept that as one of his character flaws instead of being denial x') he's not some poor guy who show his love differently. I know the anime explained it like that but in my honest opinion he reads to me as a man in need of therapy help because his traumatic past of having his family killed is left untreated and resulting in him developing attachment issues to his sister, the only family he has left. (Manga - Context) Did Gauche get better at not being a full siscon? Yes. Did he enterly get over it? No. Because he will always show sister complex gags and it's the same with any other bulls with their gags (ex. Noelle's royalty tsun, Luck's fight obsessed, Vanessa's alcoholic). These are flaws that make them more humans and will need more time to smooth over. As his fan, I want Gauche to fully love Marie in the healthy way of course, and I'm happy he's not as bad as before. Some bulls already helped him with that by showing him there's others he can protect beside his sister. I'm sure Grey is also gonna help him because she's his love interest but fixing him? Nah. He’s already getting better by his and the bulls’ efforts not just Grey.

(I'm saying this again just to make sure: NOT ALL Grey and Gauche shippers act like this, there's only SOME of them (the rest are good) but the way they treated Gauche is just too much I need to make a post about it lol)

Alright that's it. I had more complains like how people keep drawing gauche with muscles (he's a twink omg y'all following anime way of drawing him 😭/hj), ignoring Gauche's canonly beautiful blue greenish eye, etc but that's my personal preferences and I believe everyone deserved to draw him in their own way x) with this vent is clear enough that I do not like and vibes with Grey and Gauche as the ship because of the shippers (also the way tabata treated them but that's a different topic lol) I know this two will eventually be canon but I don't care and I still want to give more loves for him and drawing him with others characters because he deserved to have more fanarts thats not tied to his canon ship x')

Lastly. I just wish the Grey and Gauche shippers can see more from Gauche's point of view instead of being huge biased towards Grey. Because at this point I'm convinced that the shippers is Grey fans who only cares about Gauche because he's her love interest. Please respect and adore Gauche's character as y'all do with Grey 😞

Thankyou and have a nice weekend everyone!

#black clover #gauche adlai #my English isn’t good so my friend who's I've been having discussion about this helped me with the wording #kudos for them!#too add more I know most of Gauche fans are also Grey and Gauche shippers #so if theres any of you follows me I'll make this clear again that I don't ship them #I just draw Gauche because I love him too much #vent post #personal vent

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blanketorghost · 5 months

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SIDE A:

I fell in love with the ideal person But as you can see They had to go And it is the love that tore apart my entire heart and soul When holding hands, In the park we kissed and tears fell On fallen rose petals And, sadly, they told me so: "I have to leave, And it's not because of me, my heart lies with you All the love of my insides, my chest and my soul I know one day I will return."

SIDE B:

It was you who said goodbye And yet tears run down your cheeks If you are going to erase even the memory of yesterday like this, That's enough. Just smile for me. I sing and sing about love, one that's out above the clouds But I can't see it with my clouded mind No, no, we talk and talk about those regrets that grow day by day, and as the night swarms We forgive each other but there's no meaning to it.

SO HEY UH. LIL SNEAK PEEK OF THEIR BREAKUP ARC???

TW: for mention of underaged sex (??? only adding this just in case bc it all depends if you think their bio ages are counting their bdays during the school year the main story takes place so they'd be 17/18 respectively but I consider them to be before the school year so they'd be 18/19)

ANYWAYS HI

I decided to make their breakup so specifically heartbreaking i myself choke up a little when I imagine the scenes I'll have to write (I'll definitely cry)

So uh.

The inevitable happens and Yuu has to leave. The days leading up to his leaving date things are very tense between them. A lot of their conversations are thinly veiled arguments about Azul wanting Yuu to stay and Yuu telling him he has to leave even though he doesn't want to. Azul thinks that he's making excuses and wants him to admit that he values his life on earth more than their relationship─ Yuu just wants Azul to understand that he has way too many responsibilities and life issues he needs to tie up before he can even think about running away with him to another dimension where he has nothing to his name and could slow Azul's progress down (It also doesn't help that Yuu never actually tells Azul just how famous and influential he is on earth). Yuu also thinks that they could try making a long distance relationship work since Idia and Ortho are working on ways to allow Yuu to reliably travel since they've already managed to make phones work, but Azul is very against long distance because he thinks Yuu would fall out of love if Azul isn't physically there to be of use to Yuu. They always get out of these fights by apologizing and just expressing how sad they are they can't be together but they ultimately never decide on anything. It's actually so stress inducing for everyone because they were in their whole honeymoon phase before this.

There's a whole going away party the day before Yuu leaves and even though it's fun, everything is very bittersweet and I even have this cute scene where Grim asks to go to sleep on Yuu's bed like how they did before Ramshackle was fixed up pre ch.3 🥺

BUT ANYWAYS before the Grim scene, Azul texts Yuu to come to his room in Ramshackle (Yuu often gifts the dorm's spare rooms to friends including Azul ofc) so they can talk about what they're going to do. Yeah well the conversation gets derailed and they end up having sex for the first time as like a way of Yuu physically trying to show Azul that he will love him forever no matter what //sobs

Thats when Grim barges in after they're done and asks for Yuu to sleep over. With Azul's permission he goes and sleeps with Grim but he still feels guilty because they did something very intimate together and if able he would've wanted to spend the night with Azul instead. Yuu ofc can't say no to Grim because he also loves him a lot, though.

In the morning then Yuu wakes up and makes breakfast for Azul as like a way to apologize for not staying over+ maybe make up and talk more about what they'll do?? but when he goes over to Azul's room he finds out that Azul left even earlier in the morning and broke up with him through LETTER.

So uhm yeah Yuu is obviously very heartbroken about all this but he tries to keep a strong face for his friends since he is literally leaving today and doesn't want anyone to feel even worse than they are rn. All while Yuu is giving his goodbyes, he doesn't see Azul and thinks he just dipped and won't say goodbye in person. But Azul actually does go at the last second and they say goodbye, trying to leave their relationship in amicable terms despite everything and despite they're both crying like babies. But then Yuu kisses his forehead tells him he LOVES HIM so Azul decides to play the bad guy and say goodbye to him for good.

Obviously he eventually regrets that decision but in the meantime,

here we are

also fun fact!! Yuu's vc is Symag (alongside others- im trying to catch a vibe) and this SONG in Yuu's canon he actually writes it after their break up so legit this song is about Azul in Yuu's universe BYE

#art stuff #twisted wonderland #fanart #yuu fujisaki #doodles #twst oc #twst yuu #azul ashengrotto #twst azul #azul x yuu #azul x mc #azul x oc #azuyuu #yuuazu #ghost rambles

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gold-rhine · 21 days

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Another thing I need to talk about in Kaeya's hangout is the fact that while Kaeya probably views himself as an outsider Lumine/Traveler views him as 100% a Mondstater. If Kaeya were to say that he doesn't have a home Lumine would look at him confused and ask genuinely how is Dawn Winery and Mondstat not his home??? Like they're both liked and loved by Mondstat but Lumine is loved for what she can do and what she does do for it while Kaeya is just loved for who he is because Mondstat and his family KNOW him. Lumine is loved for the idea that she is a hero and not the person she actually is by both the general public of mondstat ( and by extension Teyvat) and her friends there. They don't see her as a person with flaws and struggles whose still worthy of love ( only Paimon definitely does). Even Kaeya alludes to this by calling her a martial arts hero while she can't respond to that. She probably only views herself as a person who just wants their only family back. Traveler would probably view herself as the one without a homeland between the two of them. Like Kaeya (and by extension Diluc) have everything she could ever want it's so crazy tragic.

I disagree with you here, I don't think Lumine doesn't understand that Kaeya struggles with belonging or that she would just see him as just Mondstater. She asks him about Khaenriah (in his voice line), in Caribert he openly tells her about his complicated feelings on his roots in Khaenriah, how he tried to run away from Mond as a kid. She knows he keeps his bio father's writing. There is a hangout route with venti specifically about kaeya struggling to feel like he can be included with Mond ppl, and both venti and traveler are very tactfully supportive and understanding of him. Like, with Lumine's own grief about her lost kingdom, I do not think she would dismiss his identity as Khaenriahan and struggles that come with it at all just bc he's settled in Mond. Like, they both have heritages that come with complicated legacies, homes they can't go back to and families they've lost and they connect on that, it was established since his very introduction when he tells her he understand the pain of being separated from family. everyone always takes this like its just about diluc, but he literally ran away from dawn winery to khaenriah as a kid! crepus had to drag him back! he's still Alberich, this is a big part of his identity, and esp after Caribert, I think Traveler understand how much weight this carries.

also kaeya 100% doesnt think ppl in Mond *know* him and love him for who he is, not what he does. like, he structures his interactions around paying back with favors, he explains it very clearly to the guy he helps in hangout, and there are few ppl he considers friends, relationships with whom are not transactional, but even with that he struggles and tries to keep his distance (how he told jean it was traveler who organized party for her and not him). kaeya's trust issues are obvious and enormous, and traveler is aware of that.

#rhine talks

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not-poignant · 11 days

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I'm rereading utb and while i def understand and agree with ef being held accountable for things, at the same time, it seems like everyone is constantly acting as if he's supposed to know how to have a healthy relationship and to cope with his emotions, much less his trauma, without anyone actually explaining or modeling this

Like, everyone constantly brings up the fact that he tried to kill Kadek even once they've acknowledged why and gary is starting a relationship with him while also essentially his prison warden and with how little ef has experienced in the world, especially as a psychologist, gary still not doing anything to help him get better coping skills makes it feel like he's setting him up to fail

Like, temsen is technically correct that ef domestically abused gary but he has literally never seen a non abusive partnership and is literally a prisoner in his current one

Idk, I really love this fic so, so much and thank you for writing it and i don't even need a response or anything, I just get defensive of ef when I'm reading sometimes bc he's trying so, so hard basically all the time and it seems like people acknowledge it sometimes in the moment but then don't give him the tools to make it any easier

Answering this one publicly because I know you're not the only one who feels this way or has felt this way!

Okay firstly, some of this conflict I'm evoking in the reader is intentional. I want people to feel defensive of Efnisien. I want people to think 'hey, hang on a minute.' There's a lot of reasons I want that, including the fact that in reality, most people don't recover from being abusive even after they've been in horrifically abusive situations in a vacuum (i.e. the whole world doesn't suddenly stop and become soft as cotton wool just because you've been abused! If you go and interview a whole bunch of people in jail right now, a lot of those folks (especially those who have done repeated serious crimes) will have experienced horrendous and incredibly unfair amounts of abuse, y'know? It's complicated. Yes, they have a right to heal and a right to support. Some of them probably did some pretty awful crimes as well. *coughs*serial killers*coughs*)

Obviously Efnisien is nowhere near that level, but the dissonance remains. He's certainly tried to murder more than one person. But we root for the person whose perspective we're reading. Still, people do not heal in a comfortable vacuum. In fact, most people are asked to be accountable for bad behaviour usually while suffering terribly. Because most people - unless they're certain kinds of extremely rare people - do bad behaviour because they don't know better and/or they're suffering intensely and it can momentarily feel good or satisfying to make other people hurt too.

That's an extremely hard process for the folks who are in that situation. Anyone who has had to recognise they're being a bully, or being abusive, usually goes through a period of time where they can't just immediately change, and what's expected of them seems impossible.

Now to everything else:

This world is a dystopia. There are things happening which aren't going to feel good when you're reading - systemic issues, issues around unfairness - because it's a dystopia. If those things weren't happening, and people just felt blithely comfortable with the entire world, well, that's not actually what I'm going for. There are times it should feel extremely disturbing to read.

So there are times I want readers to feel like things are unfair. There are times I want them to feel very strongly in one person's defense and only later realise the other person was hurt too. There are times I want them to feel like everyone is being unfair to a character. And times when I want folks to feel like the situation just sucks all round. Like, my intention in amongst the hurt/comfort isn't for things to feel easy or nice all the time, I am absolutely challenging the reader by introducing things that feel uncomfortable.

So when folks like yourself tell me this stuff it's like - yeah! It's a dystopia! And - yeah! Unfair things are definitely happening. This is especially true in the beginning when no one really has a concept of how bad things have been for Efnisien, or that he's an alpha. It remains true because no one is perfect. But it happens less often, that's what makes it feel more jarring as the story goes on. If you're rereading it's going to feel worse in the beginning, that's on purpose. The story is doing its job.

it seems like everyone is constantly acting as if he's supposed to know how to have a healthy relationship and to cope with his emotions

I don't really know what scenes you're specifically referring to here (like, just the first few chapters? The whole story? Temsen's single lecture?), but this is absolutely not the case. I'm going to look at the whole story:

The majority of the time that Efnisien is rude and disrespectful, especially once Efnisien and Gary are living together, Gary mostly ignores him, brushes it off, doesn't react or responds like it's normal dialogue lol. He's not constantly correcting his behaviour and he's not constantly like 'hey rephrase that to be polite' or 'I have feelings too' (maybe he should say the latter sometimes).

Gary is more aware than anyone that he shouldn't be Efnisien's guardian and that he's not a companion. He says this, out loud, to several people, several times. So we know that he knows that the situation isn't great / fair re: Efnisien's care (and frankly his own. Of the two of them, Gary's the one who keeps coming close to potentially dying from the other person's actions).

especially as a psychologist, gary still not doing anything to help him get better coping skills makes it feel like he's setting him up to fail

Gary is not Efnisien's psychologist. And psychologists are not doing their jobs on absolutely everyone, 24/7! This one is so important to remember (both in real life and sometimes in fiction). He's categorically not Efnisien's psychologist and it would be even more toxic if he attempted to be this if they were living together!

Gary being a psychologist is his job in the same way being an artist is a job, it's not specifically relevant to their relationship, except that Gary sometimes has better understanding of the root/s of some behaviours.

Ask any psychologist how they live at home and most of them do not want anything to do with their psychology jobs in their personal life, because they're mentally fatigued/tired from talking to people all day. They are not perfect people, they don't have perfect control over their emotions, they aren't teaching everyone the coping mechanisms they need to survive (this takes a lot of labour! It's exhausting! People can't do that 24 hours a day and stay sane. It gets toxic fast.)

The majority of the time Efnisien has extreme emotional responses, Gary just tends to absorb them, acknowledge them, or actively care for him. It's easy to miss these moments because I'm usually not making you feel conflicted about it.

The times Efnisien has extreme emotional responses and then chooses to repeatedly hurt Gary, there are often extreme emotional responses that follow because you know, that's what Efnisien was aiming for! He was trying to severely hurt someone!

Let's move onto Temsen and Efnisien, because this might be more of what you're thinking of, since Gary almost never holds Efnisien accountable tbh. Temsen is a doctor, and a peak alpha who is a leading educator in academic omega rights and theory. He is the first to deeply understand how young alphas left to get away with their smaller abusive behaviours are the kind of alphas who grow up into rapists, murderers and torturers like Christian in Underline the Blue.

(I just want to add, Christian's own abuse and PTSD is real, I don't think any of us are rushing to hold his hand and pat his head, because we sympathise with Nate more than Christian. But Christian has real pain, and real suffering too. He's a great example of how 'you're still accountable for your behaviour though' at its most extreme).

So, Temsen sees Efnisien's behaviour and he lectures and shuts him down like he would any young alpha who is on a really dangerous path. Even within that, he acknowledges himself - out loud - that it's a complicated situation and the time he comes down on Efnisien the hardest, he says the timing is poor. The majority of the time, he shows Efnisien compassion and care, and listens to his opinions, even when they disagree. He is the first to validate his gender both repeatedly in words, and in hormone and medical support. He's the first to change his approach to Efnisien's medical care when Efnisien calls out his lack of respecting his right to privacy, and he's the first to correct Gary about it when Gary expects Temsen to keep giving him information. He offers pragmatic, compassionate advice about many sensitive subjects in Efnisien's life, his health, his secondary gender, his nesting behaviours. And I would say this is how Temsen actually models better behaviour.

Temsen doesn't expect Efnisien to have all of these skills, but Efnisien has to be told what he's doing wrong and how that's not acceptable behaviour and how he's hurting people, to start learning those skills! Otherwise why would anyone bother? Vindictively hurting other people in moments of rage can feel satisfying for folks who aren't being held accountable.

You say no one is modelling better behaviour to Efnisien so I'm just going to pose some questions that are rhetorical:

How many alphas at HIllview are mounting or torturing Efnisien every day? Does Efnisien have choices in what he eats? Is Efnisien's opinion listened to more and more, especially in matters of his health? Do they care about his pain and offer him painkillers when he's suffering? Are the characters in the story trying to enrich his experiences and help him to become a more mature person by helping him overcome his fears of things like going outside? Are the characters deliberately trying to expand his support network by helping him see new people and lean on them for help, instead of keeping him in a box and forbidding him from seeing anyone? While also taking into account the safety of others?

Are the characters largely gender affirming once they learn more about Efnisien?

Are the characters actively teaching Efnisien social sciences to help him understand more about the world and human rights, which includes his own rights?

Do the characters acknowledge that Hillview isn't an ideal place for Efnisien, just a good place for now?

Do the characters want Efnisien to have a future where he's happier?

Do the characters allow Efnisien to have his emotional responses as long as they're not also abusive responses? For example, is Efnisien allowed to cry, nest, seek comfort, or even be angry, provided he's not being domestically violent? (The answer is yes).

Do the characters to the best of their ability explain things clearly and maintain their own boundaries around Efnisien to remind him that he can also maintain his own boundaries?

Are Efnisien's wishes largely respected where possible? (The answer here is also yes - such as refusing internal exams with Temsen, or having control over what he does most days and how he spends his time etc.)

Can Efnisien see lots of examples of people talking civilly to each other and often with great care, and not being abusive to each other? Can he see alternative forms of conflict resolution, management and repair?

Is Efnisien offered opportunities to repair rifts that he's created himself, after being cruel to someone?

This is just a start, but these people through these behaviours are already role-modelling a ton of better behaviours than anything Efnisien has been exposed to in the past. And we can see that Gary himself role models a lot of these things to Efnisien directly, including apologising frequently and quickly when he realises he's made mistakes. This is how Efnisien learned to apologise! And he literally has thoughts like 'Gary does this / so I guess I should do it too.' That's literally role modelling a behaviour :D

Gary's actually a pretty good role model, and the only reason Efnisien's behaviour starts to improve at Hillview as well as his quality of life is because Gary and Temsen are role modelling these behaviours.

Like, temsen is technically correct that ef domestically abused gary but he has literally never seen a non abusive partnership and is literally a prisoner in his current one

Efnisien isn't literally a prisoner in his current relationship!

I feel like when folks identify really strongly with a character, it's very easy to miss the times when Gary and Temsen for example brainstorm ways for Efnisien not to live with Gary. Aside from at the very beginning, these characters have actually talked about - in the story, in dialogue - options for Efnisien to not live with Gary.

Like they literally talk about making Efnisien a new room in the headquarters and possibly even building him his own building down the track so he doesn't have to be with Gary! As they trust Efnisien more, they offer many options to him. As the story goes on, they are absolutely not forcing Efnisien to stay with Gary, and nor is Gary. Efnisien himself communicates clearly that he would rather live with Gary than be on his own. This is something that gets checked in on, and more than one option is given to him.

Missing this is understandable, it's a long story, but it also means it's not true that Efnisien is a prisoner in that he's being forced to live with Gary. That's only true in the beginning when they literally think he's just a murderer/attempted murderer who's going to kill everyone at Hillview. As the story progresses, it shifts to 'well he's not a murderer, what are his other options?'

Can Efnisien live a free life wherever he wants? No. That's where the 'dystopian universe' tag comes in. He's not safe to, but Hillview staff wouldn't be concerned with educating him and teaching him independence if they didn't want him to live as independently as possible one day. It's not like Gary has to try to get Efnisien comfortable with going outside and experiencing the outside world, and it's not like he has to encourage Efnisien to meet omegas and betas etc. to hear different opinions, y'know?

But yeah the role modelling is happening: Efnisien's showing more and more tools in coping all the time! He's been growing them since the beginning of the fic. He's learned to communicate better. He's learned how to articulate what he wants and doesn't want more clearly. He's learned how to care more for others even if he often misses that he has the power to really hurt them. He's learned more (not less) confidence. He's having less (not more) trauma responses. He's learned how to trust in the people around him more, so he's starting to talk more about his experiences of gender. He's learned that what he went through was wrong, and is sharing more about the abuse he suffered.

These things would not be happening in a story where people weren't giving him the tools to cope with his life or weren't showing him ways to communicate differently.

The reason Efnisien talks more clearly and articulately now in the story, the reason he laughs more, cries more (which is more open/honest imho and healthier than repressing it), talks more, talks about his past more, expresses his opinion more is because Hillview has been equipping him with more tools to live a richer life pretty much as soon as they realised he's not going to just murder people at the drop of a hat.

In some ways they're showing more trust than our society would because like, attempted murder could land him in jail for a while in our society, y'know?

The reason they haven't paired him with an actual psychologist is that they don't have any peak alpha psychologists and Efnisien can use alpha persuasion on anyone else, and would certainly get angry enough in therapy to use it. We only need to look at how Efnisien responded to Dr Gary in Falling Falling Stars sometimes in therapy sessions to see that yes, this is a guy who - if he had the tool of alpha persuasion - would absolutely use it to get a therapist to shut the fuck up when he felt like it, lol.

But yeah, as always, if folks are feeling really uncomfortable when reading something I've written, it's often intentional. You're right, Efnisien's situation is unfair. A few of the specifics you've brought up aren't true, and have missed things in the story, but it's still not a fair experience, it's not always a pleasant experience, and it's...pretty dystopian!

When we get really deep into our emotional connection to a character, it can still help to remember that the situation often isn't exactly the same as it feels. But this story also has the tags: darkfic / disturbing themes / dystopian universe for a reason! The visceral discomfort is a feature, not a bug.

#asks and answers #underline the black #underline the rainbow #falling falling stars #efnisien ap wledig #dr gary konowalous #ohlo ohlo temsen #a very long response sdfklfjas basically yes it's unfair #it's not *as* unfair as you say #but it definitely *feels* that unfair in the moment #especially the chapter where temsen lectures efnisien #temsen himself acknowledges that the situation isn't fair #and gary chastises temsen for it #and then gary is very caring to efnisien so you know #it's literally a moment in time where even gary #isn't holding efnisien accountable in the same way sdalfkjas #he's *upset* but that's different #we could have a whole other post about how gary's emotional responses dictate his #reactions to efnisien but that's a whole other thing #if i accidentally called you anon while writing this i'm really sorry #it's a habit i get into sdaflkjsa

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yanderepuck · 1 year

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We're actually going to bully everyone.

Today's list is: something I hate about every guy bc some of you tend to think I only hate on Arthur.

Aka mainly just saying what I don't like about each guys route and why I wouldn't date them

Napoleon

He gets assigned as your bodyguard and he says that you're a waste of his time. FINE BY ME. BYE. DON'T TALK TO ME.

Mozart

Basically the same thing. "I don't like you. No one wants you here. And you're too loud" well damn bitch do you think anyone wants you here either?

Leonardo

WILL YOU STOP CARRYING ME EVERYWHERE LIKE A FUCKING CHILD. IM GOING TO MAKE THIS EXPERIENCE HORRIBLE FOR THE BOTH OF US. I DO HOLD A GRUDGE. Also....BITE MEEEE

Vincent

What could you hate about him? Honestly he's so positive it's toxic. It's not good to see the bright side of EVERYTHING. He'd sorta invalid negative emotions and be like "well just be happy!"

Theo

There's more than you think. I see you shirtless, and you don't want me to tell anyone about the scar so you make me work with you?? No no no. I'm going to use it as blackmail and you're going to do what I want. It makes no sense having him blackmail you. MEANWHILE YOU BARELY EVEN NOTICE THE SCAR. WTF ARE YOU GOING TO SAY?

Arthur

Do I even need to say. First off, he won't take no for an answer. You sleep around with different women like 3 times a week so I'm assuming you have commitment issues bc it's almost never the same woman. What kind of STDs are in you

Isaac

Please don't treat me like I'm a dumbass when I don't understand you spitting out chemistry formulas. You obviously want to be noticed as the smartest one around

Dazai

There's a lot more wrong than you'd think. Stop talking in fucking riddles. You're depressed? IM DEPRESSED BRO YOU CHOSE TO COME BACK AND LIVE A SECOND TIME SO DO SOMETHING WITH IT.

Jean

Why the FUCK DID YOU BITE ME. And how the FUCK DID YOU NOT GET IN TROUBLE. I WILL BEST YOU WITH YOUR OWN SWORD

Will

You're literally ratting out your 'family' for what??? An idea for a play??? Wtf is it going to be about?? Just move back into the mansion and you'll get plenty of writing content just from what you overhear. Also that notebook??? Now that I'm living here I'm reading the whole thing as if it's a novel

Comte

You're way too much of a dad figure for me to ever fall for you. Stop trying to be mysterious and trying to make a little plan on your head and then never talk about your feelings.

Sebastian

Flick me one more time and I'm going to deck you, you twink. Also reading your notebook like it's a New York Times bestseller. He needs a different hobby other than being a stalker. He's honestly boring. You're from modern times but you never talk about your actual interests

Vlad

First off, you're literally killing your kids. Second, how could you not tell that I'm the one in the painting. It's nearly identical. Also I don't understand your plan at all. Makes almost no sense to me. Go big and kill the humans or go home bud.

Faust

YOU KIDNAPPED ME. DRANK MY BLOOD. THREATENED EVERYONE I LIVED WITH. AND YOURE TRYING TO TELL ME YOU AREN'T A BAD GUY?????

Charles

Babies route isn't out yet therefore he's perfect.

Actually tho: can't say anything about his route but he's giving yandere vibes to the point where he'd probably hurt himself if you told him to bc he loves you so much.

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp napoleon #ikevamp mozart #ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp arthur #ikevamp vincent #ikevamp theo #ikevamp dazai #ikevamp isaac #ikevamp jean #ikevamp shakespeare #ikevamp comte #ikevamp sebastian #ikevamp vlad #ikevamp faust #ikevamp charles

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navarice · 1 year

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my dearest fellow mdzs stans, i really don't want to spoil anyone's fun but sometimes some things must be said. please do NOT mistake fanon characteristics for canon characteristics because by GOD is it frustrating to dissect a character when all anyone wants to do is blindly turn away from the very vivid and metastasizing flaws.

jiang cheng is an extremely complicated character, and that's why we love him. but by god, he is a jealous, self-victimizing asshole with a massive inferiority complex who likes to torture (probably) innocent look-a-likes of his (as far as he knew) dead adjacent family member. jesus christ this isn't some simple case of miscommunication (well it is but, you know no amount of communication will ever mend the giant chasm that developed between them. especially not with asians raised within the most classical case of asian parenting, i mean come on now) but a matter of deep and intense self-loathing developed since early childhood projecting violently outwards. let me be clear. he hates wei wuxian. he loathes him. he wants to kill him with his own hands again and again so some part of his convoluted sense of justice and superiority will be fulfilled. he's a classist, a bully, and abusive to everyone around him. ong at the end of mdzs, i was nearly crying tears of joy when jin guangyao flayed him flat on his ass bc that man needed to hear it. he needed to feel it. he needed to stop blaming others and blame himself.

and!! he's homophobic!! the entire cultivation world is, yes, but he's the only one we see give wei ying and lan zhan active shit for it!!

point is...his complexity makes him interesting. as a child, he was pretty alright tbh. he was understandably upset when three of his dogs got taken away and he saw his dad give a completely random kid such a gentle hug when jiang cheng never received one so far. he was a kid, and it was sad and helped the readers get a glimpse at the already dysfunctional family dynamics before wei ying came into the picture. as an adolescent/teen, yes he had a lot of unresolved rage and inferiority issues building up when he was constantly being compared to wei wuxian by his mother and not given enough reassurance from his father (once again, all present before wei ying...everyone just likes to dump the shit on him bc it's easier to point fingers at others than at yourself). perhaps he could have turned out differently if literally either of his parents stepped up and took accountability. however, after the burning of lotus pier? after the golden core transfer? after wei ying stuck around as his subordinate just as he promised, and protected jiang cheng like he promised, and defected just to save the yunmeng clan's reputation so jiang cheng doesn't have to put up with the other clan's shit, still continuing to keep his promise? after wei ying's death? idk abt y'all, but all bets are off bro.

mxtx makes it a point to make him so irredeemable. he's an exploration of what can go wrong if you let your traumas, self-hatred, and revenge fantasies blind you. he has the worst traits of his parents for a reason, directly contrasting with the other sibling, who is a perfect picture of eldest daughters born into a dysfunctional family. jiang yanli has the best traits of her parents (in terms of compassion and standing up for her family), but the family dynamics also made her the way she was. the responsible, the mediator, the occasional mother, stepping in where madam yu cannot.

there's just so much potential to hold him accountable buried under the pretense of misunderstandings and kinnie moments. he just had so many chances, more than any other character, to make a different choice. to actually look past his misgivings and unlearn the bad habits he used to protect himself as a child. i'm not saying he has to magically heal from all his traumas, but at the very least know not to be like his parents. but he wasn't written that way. because that is what happens when you give into your insecurities and generational trauma.

bottom line: jiang cheng is a fantastic archetype that needs to be explored in all his authenticity, including his moments of loyalty and cruelty.

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charmac · 6 months

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Hey! I wanna thank you for your videos and wanted to tell u I watch them to boost my energy hehe.

2 genuine questions:

1-Do you, based on the show and Dennis' character, believe that he hates Mac or he actually Loves him? How do u see Dennis in general bc I see him as a person who doesn't see himself as a person bc he's scared and also doesn't think he'll be loved.

2- when did u start loving macdennis as a romantic pair and noticed the little things between them??

Thanks! I'm trying to dig up old stuff from the old official accounts that's no longer viewable/watchable in my free time so we can keep it alive circulating.

1. I believe Dennis hates that he loves Mac. He's always loved Mac, for some reason he just has, and slowly over time that's caused him to hate him more and more:

I see MADBU as the catalyst for Dennis' disdain toward Mac, when Dee pointed out their codependency and broke their glass closet. It wasn't that he hated Mac for who he was, not right then, but Dennis hated what their relationship meant for who he was. S6-12 is this constant battle of Dennis trying to 'find himself' in so many ways, maybe he should be married; no, he just needs a higher position in the bar, reins on everyone; yeah, it's the gang who have issues: he's perfect, he's the Golden God, a 5-star man, the Master of manipulation. Dennis built his front on being a manipulator, on wearing different faces, on controlling Mac, convincing everyone his cold, hard shell matches his interior, and Mac fell for it. Mac, who's supposed to know Dennis better than he knows himself, no longer knows who Dennis is.

Dennis' front was born out of his insecurities, his trauma, his rejection of labels and his fear of being known, his constant internal battle with himself for control. (DTAMHD kind of illustrates that beautifully, look inside his mind, see what he's going through, all internally, he's trying to reason with the world being against him inside, so on the outside he can present flawlessly (ha).) His front wasn't meant for Mac, Mac was the guy who he could talk to, but Mac is a little stupid and he fell for it, an unfortunate by-product, and Dennis hates that. He hates that Mac sees who he's projecting and not who he is inside.

The sad thing is, Mac is trying. But he's always doing it wrong, proving himself in the wrong ways, trying to get through Dennis' shell not because he wants to know him, but because he wants him. Dennis left, Dennis came back, and Mac had replaced him with a sex doll. An object, Dennis is an object of his affection. An object.

Mac doesn't understand the difference, between lust and love. Mac doesn't understand love outside of neglect and manipulation. Dennis has built his front on manipulation. Would Mac still love him if he knew who Dennis was outside of that? Does Mac even want to know who Dennis is? Or does he just want sex? Does he love him or is it all manipulation at this point? If that was gone, where would they be?

Mac doesn't know that Dennis is Johnny, Mac can't wrap his head around the fact that Dennis is Johnny, he can't be. (Why can't he be?) Dennis is Johnny, he's dropping hints that he is: Johnny likes the same things that Dennis does, but Mac doesn't know that, because Johnny isn't the Dennis that Mac knows. Mac doesn't know Dennis. If Mac doesn't know who Dennis really is, he doesn't love him, he just wants him and Dennis doesn't want sex from Mac, because he loves him, and he hates him for that. (But Mac is in love with Johnny, Johnny who never showed up for sex, Johnny who liked the same things Dennis does...What does that tell Dennis?)

2. This one is really hard for me to pinpoint. Macdennis grew on me gradually, and then hit really hard. Definitely due to the Dennis Front factor. I admit constantly I was very much a dudebro on the subreddit about this show for about 2 years... Oops, lol. (I always liked this ship, um, non-romantically..) When TASP started the conversations there convinced me I wasn't insane to read deeper into this show and I began seeing Dennis meta, that's when I started seeing it romantically, I suppose. The first rewatch you do after cracking through Dennis is absolutely mindblowing, lmfao.

#iasip #macdennis #dennis reynolds #dennis meta #i suppose... lol #ask #sorry this took me 2 hours to answer literally i opened this ask at 9pm and its 11:18pm lol #i cut a lot of my thoughts out cos this is more concise yk #but i could talk about macdennis love-hate dynamics forever and ever #ok to clarify cos rereading its a little choppy but i didnt wanna go into dennis' csa in this #but hopefully its clear enough that's what the major issue is

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blindmagdalena · 4 months

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Hi, Amy! How are you?

You know, I've been having a lot of thoughts about Homelander's relationship with both Ashley and the rest of the Seven, and wanted to share them, if that's okay :)

Although at first glance it really seems that Homelander just hates his team, I think that it's a bit more complicated than that.

Sure he likes to bully them, intimidate them and generally just play mind games with the team. He's a sadist for sure. However, I also think that he rationalizes his mistreatment of them as "toughening them up".

I've had a lot of teachers (and one terrible boss) who had this mentallity. They use the people bellow them as pounching bags, an outlet for their own frustrations because they know they won't face any repercussions, but they don't see it as an abuse of power. They think that this mistreatment helps to build character and it's necessary.

In a way, they think "they are doing us a favor", and in my mind that's exactly how Homelander sees his relationship with the Seven. "Oh, they re weak and pathetic and so bellow me, but it's okay, I'll make them better" basically.

It's also a form of revenge, because Homelander went through abuse as well while he was in the lab. So, now he believes that pain and humiliation is something everyone should go through because it will make them stronger. This helps him justify his own suffering too. Because if pain isn't necessary to become better, why did he have to go through that?

I think (weirdly enough) that this is particularly true when it comes to his relationship with women.

In his mind, Alex's death was not just a way to intimidate Starlight. It was a loss she needed to experience to "understand the situation she was in". That's why during the interview he held her hand and even said that he missed her, acting like everything was fine between them. Because what he did was for Starlight's benefit so she doesn't have a right to hate him for it.

His issues distinguishing reality from fiction (as in marketing and PR stunts, branding, etc) also played a role in that, but that's beside the point.

AND ASHLEY!!?? I have so many thoughts about how he actually is, deep down, VERY fond of Ashley but feels the need to terrorize her bc she won't be a useful paw if he goes soft on her. Even if she's just using her, you don't hang over the most sucessful company of the world to someone you hate.

Yes, everything he does is horrible and ill-intended, but he doesn't realize it!

He thinks he can hurt people and still have an emotional connection to them, because abuse is just an intrinsical part of any relationship. That's what Jonah Vogelbaum and Vought taught him, and that's why he's always so dumbfounded when people turn on him.

(Poor thing, he really needs to be commited at this point 😩).

aahh wow, so many good points! i agree that Homelander absolutely ascribes to 'tough love,' like pushing Ryan off the roof. that is undoubtedly exactly how he was taught to fly, too. you've nailed his warped perspective on how he goes about teaching people lessons.

though a good deal of his bullying, especially in regards to A-Train and Deep, seems like him lashing out against them for not being his dream team. he's at his worst with them when he feels small and insecure. he treats them as extensions of himself and his image, and when they fail to live up to that, it infuriates him.

i don't know if i entirely agree with the latent fondness beneath his bullying of Ashley: if he is fond of her, i don't think he's aware of it at all. to me, it seems much more like she's his designated adult. a frazzled babysitter. someone he has terrified into being loyal and responsible for all the company related nuances he doesn't understand. it makes so much sense to me when you take into account what Starr said about Homelander having the emotional intelligence of a 14-year-old. she's his stand-in for Stan Edgar.

he's pretty openly doting when he has fondness for someone. Black Noir is a very good example of this.

that said, fondness is different from attachment. i do think he's both attached to and reliant on every member of his team. a teenager who lashes out at their friends and family is still very much reliant on those same people.

i like what you said about him viewing abuse as an intrinsic part of relationships, and something that shouldn't cause people to turn on him. it's fucked up and tragic, and his perspective definitely IS very skewed, but he shows us several times that he's actually pretty soft when it comes to his loved ones.

when Ryan has a panic attack, he doesn't scold him or tell him to get over it. he removes him from the situation, gives him space, and then empathizes with him. obviously he's much softer with his son bc he's actively looking to change the way he was raised through his son.

ultimately to me, Homelander's sadism doesn't come across as quite as meticulous or well thought out as he'd like people to believe. he's a wounded, frustrated child taking out his pain on those around him. he uses fear and torment to get his way because that's what was done to him, and yet he expects them to have the same weird reverence for him that he had for Vogelbaum.

#i hope this makes sense i'm feelin off my game today #but i LOVE your analysis here it's so good #thank you for sharing!#homelander meta #homelander #ask and you shall receive

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soullessjack · 5 months

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so one of my other problems with babyjack is that the fandom just seems to have this sort of collective cognitive dissonance about it, in almost any context or discussion. like this post as probably my only standing example (bc it’s the only one to have gotten traction), there are all these tags about how babyjack leads to bad dean criticism, or how it’s nice in aus but they want canon complex jack, and like I’m not entirely disagreeing with that, but it is so fucking frustrating that people are still ignoring the actual problem with it and either only focusing on the most surface level issues that personally affect them or their corner of the fandom, or making up some point of acceptability for it that frankly isn’t theirs to make.

it’s the autistic experience of our struggles never being seen or cared about until they become other people’s inconveniences, and our voices being used to say something else entirely. when the main takeaway of that post is how the fandom’s treatment of jack being in a way he’s explicitly shown to hate being treated directly mirrors autistic people’s struggle for autonomy in the real world, I really do not need you to make it about how it makes your golden website boy dean look like a big meanie pants, okay? that’s definitely a part of it, but it’s not at all what we are talking about, and it 100% should not be the only reason you care.

and especially when the other takeaway is how this is just a smaller scale issue that comes from autistic infantilization, the absolute last take I want to hear is that you find that infantilization acceptable as long it’s an AU or something else separated from canon. believe me, I’m beyond glad more people actually prefer canon complex jack—like, I don’t think you guys understand that that is legitimately a rarity to find here— but the thing about babyjack is that the concept itself is inherently ableist, and directly relies on his complexities (and the representation he means for us) being removed and erased so that he can even exist in the context of those AU’s. It feels very… ‘have your cake and eat it too’ to me.

I’m trying not to sound angry or accusatory, but I am also tired of having to force civility on a problem that’s pretty much just an open secret thar everyone collectively ignores and beats bushes around solely because they prioritize #domesticdestiel over all. I mean, do you guys even hear yourselves sometimes? Like half of it just boils down to “Autistic infantilization is always bad, except for this one context where it makes my ship look domestic and redeems my blorbo,” and it’s getting really fucking annoying to have to constantly explain something that is not only painfully easy to understand, but is understood and actively ignored, and still play nice so that somebody out there might listen.

So many people will say they like canon Jack and want more of him from the fandom, and I more than agree, but motherfucker you have a blog! You have the tools! Be the change you want to see! He doesn’t have to be your fav or your blog thesis blorbo, but if you want it, you are literally fully equipped to make it! Write some meta, draw some fanart, whatever. Better yet, you could even stop engaging with and perpetuating content that actively pushes down on what you want and, I must reiterate, is actively harmful and ableist. If you want domestic silliness go right ahead, but you don’t need to resort to ableism to do it.

I don’t think I’m asking too much or asking rudely, and frankly I don’t even think I owe niceties to anyone when it’s a problem that has been openly ignored for 6 years and holds plenty of bearing in the real world concerning my identity and community and shit we face constantly. Outside of our screens, we are constantly fighting for autonomy and recognition and representation, and even to be seen as people. Online spaces, especially fandom spaces, are a huge source of escapism and support that we wouldn’t get otherwise. So for the love of god, please stop bringing that fight here.

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