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prythianpages · 2 months

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When I Kissed the Teacher | Cassian

summary: After shameless flirting and one drunken confession, you decide to finally own up to your feelings for Cassian.

warnings: fluff, some suggestiveness/reader thirsting for Cas bc who wouldn't??

a/n: @daycourtofficial suggested this song and idea so big shoutout to her! Though I did a poll and Az won (you can find his version here), I decided to also write a version for Cas as a huge thank you for following me! I just reached 1k ♥ For the sake of this fic, Nesta and Cas are just good friends.

This is part of my ABBA x ACOTAR series (masterlist) where I dedicate a song to a character (:

Cassian strolls along the hallway, a carefree whistle coming from his lips. A towel is draped casually over his shoulder, barely doing anything to cover his well-defined upper half. A satisfying workout has left his muscles pleasantly fatigued and a content smile on his face. He usually trains in the morning but unfortunately, he had to rearrange his schedule to accompany Azriel on trip to Windhaven.

A creaking sound halts his steps and he turns his head to find you, his favorite trainee, struggling to open the door that leads to the infamous ten-thousand steps. Cassian watches you struggle for a moment longer, suppressing a laugh at the way you huff out in exasperation, allowing your forehead to fall against the door in defeat.

“What are you doing?”

Your head whips around in response, a dizzying blur causing a momentary loss of balance. As your entire weight leans against the door, it finally yields with a creak. Both the house and Cassian spring to action. A sudden gust of wind sweeps through, slamming the door shut and sending you stumbling forward instead.

Cassian catches you in his arms, one hand securing the small of your back while the other cradles the back of your head. Seemingly unfazed by the dangerous fate you almost, quite literally, threw yourself into, you appear nonchalant as you pull back slightly.

"I'm going out.”

As you speak, Cassian catches the subtle scent of ripe red berries coming from your breath. He recognizes it as Mor’s favorite wine. His hazel eyes graze over your body, taking in your thin cami top and shorts with heart patterns that match the hearts on the fluffy slippers you wear.

“Are you drunk?” He asks, his voice warm with amusement.

You don’t answer him, seemingly distracted by his bare chest. A thin line of sweat makes the black ink of his tattoos glisten, enticing you to lean in and have a taste. If you had drank a bit more, perhaps, you would’ve. But for now, you're content to place your hands on his chest instead, heart fluttering at the sensation of the hard muscle beneath.

“Mmm, you’re absolutely delicious. Has anyone told you, you should be shirtless more often?”

Cassian chuckles. He’s caught you staring at him during training, often flexing his muscles on purpose for you to give you a better show. And it’s no secret that he finds you attractive too, especially after you coaxed it out of him one morning.

“Get off that pretty ass of yours and give me fifty.”

Your mouth falls open but it’s not the fifty push ups you’re gasping over. “You think I’m pretty?”

His gaze lowers, trailing down your body appreciatively before lifting back up to meet your eyes again. His lips twitch upwards and there’s a sparkle in his hazel depths. “I think you’re many things, sweetheart. Doesn’t keep you from giving me fifty. On the floor. Now.”

Flirting is common between you two but even then, there’s no way you’d say those words sober to him. “Yup, you’re drunk,” Cassian says. He makes a mental note to chide Mor the next morning for letting you out of her sight.

“And you’re Cassian. My favorite teacher.” You grin lazily at him, a finger grazing a path over to where his heart beats. Your touch creates a ripple of warmth, prompting his heart to lurch forward, craving for more of it.

Get it together, he thinks as he reminds himself that you’re drunk.

“Mr. Cassian. My Mr. Cassian. My Cassian.”

A flush of warmth paints his cheeks at your slur of words and he doesn’t care if you don’t mean those words the way he’d like you to. You probably won’t even remember tonight and it’s this thought that gives him the courage to reciprocate. His fingers grip your chin lightly, thumb sweeping over your cheek in a tender caress.

“Your Cassian,” he affirms gently, a soft smile playing on his lips. If only you knew how much he adored you...

Hearts take shape in your eyes, softening your gaze. You throw your arms around his neck, pulling him closer into your drunken embrace. Cassian responds, his hands securing beneath your knees, effortlessly lifting you. A playful giggle escapes you, only to be hushed when you notice him carrying you away from the door.

“No, Cas,” you shake your head at him. Attempting to squirm away, you insistently gesture back towards the door. Yet, his arms around you tighten, holding you in place. “We’re going the wrong way! Rita’s is that way!”

“We’re going to bed.”

Your squirming stops and you draw back, looking up at him with a flirtatious flutter of your eyelashes. “We are?”

“You–you’re going to bed. Your own bed, where you will sleep…alone,” Cassian finds himself stammering as he avoids your gaze.

“I don’t want to be alone,” you reply and he can hear the frown in your voice. “I want to be with you.”

“Cauldron boil me,” Cassian curses, quickening his steps. The faster he can get you to your room, the better.

When Cassian finally reaches your room, he thanks the house for opening the door for him. Your silence prompts him to assume you’ve fallen asleep. As he carries you to your bed, his eyes wander around your room, taking in the small details. His heart swells with warmth when he catches a glimpse of the book he had given you over training methods–his favorite book–sitting on your nightstand.

Cassian pulls the covers off your bed and feels you stir in his hold, arms and legs tightening around him as if you could sense his impending departure. He literally has to pry your grip off of him so he can lay you down on your bed. He tucks you in with such tenderness that it sobers you up for just a moment, eyes blinking open. “Can’t you stay?”

The pout you give him is endearing and tugs at his heartstrings. “I’m sorry, I can’t.”

“But–”

He brushes your hair back with a soft expression on his face that would’ve had you melting, if you weren’t upset by his rejection.

"Not when you’re like this.”

“But…,” you begin again. A pleading look fills your eyes and there’s a subtle wobble of your lips. “What if I tell you I love you?”

Cassian pauses. His eyes study your face in contemplation. He would love nothing more than to slip under the covers with you but he remains firm in his resolve. So with a soft pat to your head, he says, “tell me when you’re sober, sweetheart.”

“Tell me when you’re sober, sweetheart,” you mock Cassian’s voice with a scowl the next morning. Contrary to Cassian’s belief, you remembered everything. “Ugh! He might’ve well just told me he hates me!”

“Or maybe, I don’t know, hear me out,” Nesta begins, raising her hands before you could interrupt. She sits across from you on your bed, already dressed in her training leathers. “He wants you to confess to him when you’re sober.”

Emerie, who leans against your desk, giggles at the look on your face. “Don’t be rational, Nesta,” she says in a teasing tone. “He totally hates her.”

The door to your room creaks open and Gywn steps in with a slight frown. “Hurry up! We’re going to be late for our morning session,” she then looks at you, her frown deepening when she takes note of your disheveled state. “Y/n, what are you still doing in your pajamas?”

“I’m not going today. Tell them I’m hungover,” you tell her with a grimace, pretending to be sick. Nesta rolls her eyes at your dramatics. “I think I’m going to throw up. You should go before I do.”

Gwyn glances toward Emerie, who had also been drinking with you and Mor last night. She then turns back to you with narrowed eyes. “Emerie seems just fine to me.”

Emerie shrinks back with a small blush. The two of you exchange a look. Yes, you had been drinking with Mor and Emerie last night. But you had done most of the drinking while your friend snuck off with the pretty blonde.

“Leave her be,” Emerie says as she stands up straight, covering for you the same way you had for her. “I’m sure Cas will understand, given the state he found her in last night.”

“What? Don’t tell me you confessed your feelings while drunk,” Gwyn says with an amused giggle. As the silence stretches, her eyes widen, head turning to you. You're quick to avoid her gaze, prompting her to remark, "No wonder he's blushing like a fool today."

That makes your head perk up almost immediately, eyes finding hers only to see the playful glint in her eyes. Nesta and Emerie laugh while you fling one of your pillows at Gwyn. She catches it with ease and throws it back at you. Surrendering to the inevitable teasing, you let the pillow hit you, collapsing onto the comforting expanse of your bed, hoping the blankets might swallow you whole.

“Can you all just leave me be?” You groan. “I’d like to wallow in my own embarrassment alone.”

"Fine," Nesta sighs, patting your leg as she hops off your bed. "But don't think about skipping tomorrow's training!”

The next morning dawns, and you find yourself unable to face training, still grappling with the aftermath of your drunken confession to Cassian. Out of all the fish in the sea of Velaris, your heart chose to hyperfixate on him. Your teacher.

As night falls, you're contemplating skipping training again. It's only another day, and with Friday approaching, the weekend promises a much-needed break. This extra time might be just what you need to gather the courage to face him once more.

Turning in for the night, you cast a glance towards your nightstand. There, beside the book Cassian lent you, sits an untouched hangover tonic. It appeared the morning after your first skipped training session. When you thanked your friends, they had only looked back at you in confusion. You didn’t have to guess who left it there for you after that.

With a sigh, you close your eyes. One of these days, you'll tell him you dream of him every night. Until then, you savor the bittersweet anticipation and allow sleep to pull you into its embrace.

In the sweet haven of your dream, you and Cassian stroll through the center of Velaris as the city shimmers around you. Cassian laughs, the sound echoing like a sweet melody. The two of you then find yourselves in a meadow bathed in moonlight. A sea of luminescent flowers surround you and as the wind blows around you softly, Cassian sneezes. It’s your turn to laugh then.

Cassian rolls his eyes at you and then reaches for your hand, his touch warm and reassuring. He pulls you into a dance with a smile that fills your heart with warmth and–

Your body stirs at the sudden loss of warmth and the soft smile that was on your lips morphs into a frown. Something seizes your ankles, yanking you down the bed. With a sudden jolt, your eyes fly open, and a scream escapes your throat. It takes a moment to recgonize the hazel eyes glaring down at you.

“I hope that dream of yours was beautiful because you’re about to have a nightmare of a training session,” Cassian huffs but there’s a teasing to his tone. “Come on, get up.”

Staring up at him in surprise, your heart flutters, still entangled in the remnants of the dream. Unsatisfied with your lack of response, Cassian leans forward and effortlessly picks you up, hoisting you over his shoulder. The trance shatters, and you protest, kicking and punching.

"Hey! Let me go!" you exclaim, your resistance met with Cassian's apparent indifference as he heads towards the door.

"At least let me freshen up and change!" you plea in exasperation. "You can't expect me to train in my pajamas!"

Cassian rolls his eyes because if you had woken up early like usual, you would’ve had more than enough time to change into something more comfortable for training. He doesn’t care. He just needs you to be there. On time.

“I’ll catch a cold or freeze to death on the rooftop!”

He pauses, his wings shuddering at the thought. While he doesn’t care about what you wear, he does care about you. Setting you down, Cassian regards you with a stern expression, though his stomach flutters. He hadn’t seen you since that night.

“You have 5 minutes.”

Cassian watches as you spring into action, your hurried footsteps echoing through the room as you run toward your bathroom. He bites back the urge to laugh. He’d never seen you run so fast.

Cassian was not exaggerating when he said you were in for a nightmare of a training session. Much to your dismay, your friends were all under Azriel’s instruction for the morning, allowing Cassian’s attention to solely focus on you. Something you normally would’ve swooned over but given your current tension…

“You’re doing it wrong.”

You let out a huff and lower your sword, dragging the pointy edge along the gravel. A scowl taints your features. “I need a break.”

Cassian shakes his head at you. “Not until you get this move right.”

He moves to stand behind you, placing his hands at your waist. Suddenly, you're thankful for the vigorous activity Cassian pushed you into. It allows you to put full blame for your heavy breathing on the demanding training and not on the way Cassian’s warm breath tickles your ears as he instructs you on how to properly position yourself.

“Like this,” he tells you, using a knee to prod your legs further apart.

Your knees wobble and once again, you blame it on your exhausted muscles. Cassian chuckles, the hands on your waist helping hold you steady. “Are you drunk, y/n?” He teases.

You turn your head to glare at him. “I’m sober.”

Cassian raises an eyebrow at you. “Oh?”

You toss your sword aside, freeing yourself from his hold, and spin around to face him. "And you want to know something else?"

Crossing his arms against his chest, Cassian's lips twitch upwards. He’s fully aware of the way your gaze momentarily dips down, catching the flex of his biceps. "What?" he prompts, the hint of a teasing smile playing on his face.

Suddenly, the words die at your throat as you meet his gaze again. The intensity in his eyes rattles your nerves and you feel the courage slowly slipping away. Desperate to not let this moment slip through your fingers, you curl your fingers into his leathers and yank him down to your height. Choosing to show him instead, you lean forward and press your lips to his.

You pour out all your feelings into the kiss, heart quickening when he begins to reciprocate. His arms wrap around your waist, pulling you flush against him. He’d dreamt of this moment just as much as you did and now that he had a taste, he didn’t want to stop.

Unfortunately, for him, the screams tearing through the training grounds have you pulling away. Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Emerie and Gwyn, going wild and playfully tugging at Nesta’s arms while she laughs. Even Azriel indulges in a chuckle.

Blush creeps into your cheeks. You hold your breath as the world seems to stand still. However, instead of an awkward response, Cassian simply smiles, the flush of his cheeks matching yours and you feel like you can breathe again.

“I like you,” you finally confess, exhaling as your gaze dips downward. “Like might not even be sufficient enough at this point…"

Cassian's fingers gently grip your chin, coaxing your gaze back up to his. His thumb sweeps over your cheek in a tender caress—the same way it did on the night of your drunken confession. But this time, he doesn't hold back. He allows his thumb to trace the soft plush of your lips next.

And if the gleam in his hazel eyes was not enough to send you to the seventh heaven, his next words did.

“I’m falling in love with you, too.”

a/n: hope you all enjoyed this one! ❤️

tagging: @hellodarling1357 , @kennedy-brooke, @scooobies

#cassian x reader #cassian x you #cassian x y/n #cassian imagine #cassian fluff #acotar fanfiction #acotar imagine #acotar x reader #acotar x you #acotar x y/n #acotar fluff #abba x acotar

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oliversrarebooks · 1 month

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Rayan is from @sowhumpshaped's story Stray. I can't resist a sad wet cat man who thinks he knows best. This is set in the timeline where Rayan gets caught and tested to be a pet.

tw: dehumanization, conditioning, drugging, memory loss, facility/institution

"Did you -- did you actually say --"

"That your results show that you're a pet, yes," the nurse affirmed with a big, cheerful smile. "You're very lucky we caught you for this silly little mistake before things ended up worse."

Rayan's heart dropped into his shoes. "Are you sure?" he blurted out before thinking. "I know the test is accurate, but -- there's never any mistakes? There have to be mistakes sometimes, right?"

The expression on her face was friendly but firm. "No, there are no mistakes. You know that."

"I know that..." He stared numbly at his hands. The test was accurate, of course. Everyone knew that. If it weren't, they'd have to worry about accidentally treating people as pets, which would be horrible.

The test was accurate. Everyone knew that.

He felt sick.

"It's all right, poor dear. I know this must be a shock," she said. "You must have been struggling so much, weren't you?"

He didn't answer, still trying to process it all. A pet...

"Haven't you ever wondered if you might be a pet? When you see happy pets in the park, didn't you feel a longing inside?"

"I -- I did, but I thought that was because I wanted a pet for myself -- "

"That feeling was because a part of you deep down knew where you belonged," she said. "And now we've found you, and everything will be okay, you'll see. You won't have to struggle like that any more. You won't need to worry about big, scary people concerns like jobs and money and education. You'll be so much happier."

Rayan swallowed the lump in his throat. He had, secretly, sometimes felt that life would be easier as a pet, with no worries beyond pleasing his owner. He'd never vocalized these thoughts, worried that someone would think he was a strange deviant, like those people who pretended to be pets --

But if he was a pet all along, those thoughts would be normal, wouldn't they?

"What's going to happen to me now?"

"Well, dear, you've been trying so hard to be a person for so many years that you've picked up a lot of bad habits," she said. "That's not your fault, of course, you can't be blamed for trying your best. But now we have to train you out of all those nasty bad habits, do you see? It's not healthy for a pet to think it's a person."

That was exactly what he'd told 13, wasn't it? And he was just the same. No wonder he'd been so sympathetic.

He was bunching the hospital gown with both hands. "Will the training be hard?"

"For a sweet pet like you? No, I don't think it will be. I think you'll find the training to be very easy, much easier than pretending to be a person. It's going to be a big weight lifted from you. You'll see."

"And -- my memories --"

The nurse sighed. "That's an important part of the process, as I'm sure you know. Happy pets can't have those awful, distressing memories of trying to be a person. This is what's best for you."

It was what was best for pets, he knew that. So it must be what's best for him. But still, he didn't want to...

"It will be painless," she said reassuringly. "We're just going to give you some nice medicine for pets with bad habits and scary memories. It'll make you feel a little funny and sleepy, and in just a few days, you'll start to feel so much better."

He nodded, still feeling miserable inside. It felt like this should be happening to someone else, that it was a dream. That he'd wake up in his own apartment any minute now.

"Come with me, now. We have a treatment room all ready just for you. You won't have to worry about a single thing."

Rayan didn't argue or struggle as she gently ushered him forward and out of the room. His hands felt cold and his legs felt shaky.

It was for the best, he reassured himself. If the test said he was a pet, he must be a pet. And if he was a pet, the treatment would make him feel better. The only reason he felt so bad was because he hadn't gotten the proper treatments for a pet. He'd always worried something had been wrong with him, and now he knew what the problem was, and was going to get it fixed.

He was going to be trained. He wouldn't have to worry about holding down a job or disappointing his parents any more than he already had by turning out to be a pet. He'd make some owner very happy.

...He was going to forget his family, his friends, the shelter, everything that made him happy...

It was for the best. It had to be. If it wasn't, if the test could be wrong, if the treatments weren't appropriate, then the whole pet system was monstrous. All of his friends at the shelter and all of the pet owners he knew weren't monsters. They were kind people, and they loved their pets and knew what was best for them.

What was best for him.

He'd feel a lot better about it all when he was treated.

The nurse guided him into an elevator, and they went down to a basement level, exiting out into a brightly lit corridor filled with doctors and nurses bustling about, but no pets that he could see. They walked down a hall and turned left, Rayan fighting his anxiety every step of the way, until the nurse pushed open a door and beckoned him inside.

It was a bit like a hospital room, with three walls in stark white and the fourth painted with a childish mural of a blue sky. The medical bed was lower to the ground than normal, and there was a low counter with a sink in it. There was a metal pet bowl and metal water bottle on the counter, a leash tacked onto the wall, and a crate of brightly colored toys in the corner.

"Here we are!" the nurse chirped. "Now you can just get comfortable and your new handler will be in shortly."

"...Okay." Rayan awkwardly situated himself on the bed and watched the nurse leave, and he was left alone with his own conflicted thoughts.

He couldn't help but wonder what they'd tell his parents. Would they be disappointed? Angry? Would they miss him? He hoped they would understand. Would his friends at the shelter find out? Did they ever suspect? Would they notice when he didn't turn up to --

The door opened, and a young person with hair cropped short and a white coat walked in. They were carrying a small paper cup in one hand and a basket containing a blanket and a few other things. "Hello there. I'm Kay, and I'll be your handler for your treatment," they said with a smile, setting down her things on the table. "Oh, you poor thing. You just found out that you're a pet, I've been told. You must be so scared and confused."

Rayan could only nod, embarrassment creeping up his cheeks. A handler for new pets, the sort of job he had been hoping for.

"You have nothing to worry about. I can already tell that you're going to be such a good boy." They reached out their hand to pet Rayan's hair, and he didn't shy away from it. The gentle touch as they ruffled his hair felt... nice. Comforting. He was leaning into it before he could stop himself.

"Oh, do you like that?" Kay cooed. "Aww, such a good boy, yes you are."

The embarrassment in his face grew more intense as he accepted the petting. He did like it, and that meant... that meant he really must be a pet, didn't it? A person wouldn't enjoy being patted and soothed like this. Anyone would consider that deviant behavior for a person, but it was expected behavior for a pet. Desired, even.

So it was true, wasn't it? His struggle to hold down a job, to live independently, to accomplish the things everyone else seemed to do with so little effort, it was all because he was a pet. This was really happening. His eyes grew watery and a tear slid down his cheek.

"Oh dear, oh dear. It's okay," said Kay, producing a tissue from their pocket and wiping at Rayan's eyes. "It's okay to be sad. We'll get you all fixed up."

"May I ask a question, please?"

"Yes, dear."

"What are they going to tell my family?"

"Our staff is already preparing to deliver the message. They're trained in supporting families during this difficult time. They'll be in good hands, I promise. You won't need to worry about them."

"...All right." That was the best he could hope for, wasn't it?

"Here, let's get you your medication." Kay handed him the paper cup, which was three-quarters full of a thick red liquid that smelled like artificial cherries. "You'll need medication three times a day at the beginning of your treatment, and then we'll taper it off to a lower dose."

Rayan couldn't help but hesitate before drinking it. This must be the medicine that all pets took, the one that would erase his memories, his ability to read and write, all the things he learned as an adult. As a person.

But if he wasn't a person, then he shouldn't have those memories in the first place. The medicine would fix him, wouldn't it?

"Go on, drink it up. You need your medicine, dear."

He closed his eyes and drank. It was cloyingly sweet with a sickly aftertaste.

"Very good!" Kay reached into the basket and pulled out a flimsy plastic collar with a printed label on it. "This is your temporary collar until you get a real one. You're number 25."

"Twenty-five..." he repeated in a daze. That's right. He wouldn't be "Rayan" any more, not ever again.

"You'll get a much better name when you're adopted," they said, clipping the collar around his neck. It felt cold as he ran his fingers along it. They pulled out a metallic cuff that locked around his wrist. "And this is so we don't lose you, dear."

"...Okay."

"There are only a few rules in the facility. You must not leave this room without permission. You must follow all of the instructions the handlers give you. You must not harm any handlers or any of the other pets. There will be punishments if you fail to follow the rules -- they're for your own good, and the good of the staff and the pets, of course."

"Right."

They showed Rayan -- no, he was 25 now, wasn't he? -- a remote with one big round button on it. "If you need help, just press this button! But don't abuse it, or we'll have to take it away, do you understand?"

He nodded. "Uh -- uh-huh." It was getting hard to focus on what Kay was saying, even though he knew it was important.

"Tomorrow we'll be giving you a medical evaluation and start the first steps of your treatment. You'll be -- and then we'll --"

25 rubbed at his eyes. His head felt foggy, and everything seemed so far away.

"Oh, dear." Kay's voice echoed through his mind. "That must be the medicine kicking in. Why don't you settle in for a nice nap, then? We can talk about these things in the morning."

He nodded. That sounded perfect.

"Just lay down on the bed and we'll get you all tucked in."

As 25 curled up onto the bed, Kay spread the warm and weighty blanket over him. patting his head again. "Good night, dear. Sleep well, and have pleasant dreams." They turned off the light and shut the door behind them with a click.

25 stared out into the darkness. So much had happened since he'd found 13. While he'd sometimes imagined what it would be like to be a pet, thoughts he never shared with anyone, he never seriously thought he'd be here in a facility. And now he'd never see his parents or his own apartment ever again. Despite how drowsy he was, there was no way he was getting to sleep, not with the anxious knot in his stomach.

But after a few minutes, he felt the anxiety start to dissolve away, leaving a sensation of dull calm. It must be the medicine, he figured, as his eyelids began to droop and his thoughts scatter.

He was feeling better already, just like they'd said. They really did know what was best for him.

#pet whump #whump #whump writing #dehumanization #drugging #stray #rayan

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magicalmanhattanproject · 6 months

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okay im insane in the head again time for more 2b2t worldbuilding

so a way long time ago now, baghera and fit had a conversation where baghera said she didn't know who the good guys and bad guys are anymore and fit just sort of agreed with her. using my massive genius brain that knows fit's cubito better than fit himself does, i have deduced that he was lying

the idea of "good guys" and "bad guys" isn't something that 2b2t puts much stock in. it doesn't hold much weight in a world where the whole point is that it's every man for himself and griefers and hackers have free reign.

instead, interpersonal relationships function on a simple matrix. are you with me or are you against me? can i trust you or not? that's how you decide who to break bread with, who to let into your base, who to fight alongside and who to stab in the back

first question you may have: how do you figure out who you can trust? well, that's the million dollar question, isn't it? the way fit explains it, it depends mostly on what you need to trust them for. take fit himself. he's a pretty standup guy, by 2b2t standards. he's a straight shooter, for hte most part. doesn't backstab much (it doesn't count if you have good reason to think they'd backstab you first, by the way). everyone on 2b2t knows he'll take your secrets to your grave if you ask him to. everyone knows he won't take them any farther than that. what can he say? he likes the fofoca

if you want a guy who can tell your story to the world and make sure you aren't forgotten in the writhing sea of chaos, he's your guy. if you want someone who will never breathe a word of it, he's really not.

consistency is king in the world of chaos "sure, i betrayed him, but i'd never betray you" is the sort of line to get you betrayed first. you either split your loyalties between a bunch of warring factions and hope they never go to war (they will) or you put all your eggs in one basket while the farmer is having a mental break and throwing egg baskets out of the truck at random. or you do what fit does and eschew strength in numbers entirely and dangle yourself like a juicy steak in front of every roving band waiting to prey on lone travelers

you do what fit does and get good at cutting your losses and going to ground

these are the facts: you are being watched. you cannot shake your pursuers. there is no strength to be found in numbers. there is no safety to be found alone. there is no such thing as an ally

these are the facts: if you name a mob, it will die. if you don't name a mob, it will die anyway.

these are the facts: your son, your beautiful boy made in heaven by god himself, only got two things from spreen. a (pretty nice, to be fair) basement roller coaster and a name.

these are the facts: you are not strong enough to keep ramón alive on your own. you are not strong enough to let him die.

these are the facts: if you place a block at your feet, an end crystal won't do enough damage to kill you. this fact will save your life. it won't save your arm as the lavacast topples down on you.

these are the facts: cutting yourself free from the rubble will hurt. it is human nature to avoid pain. you hope that if you wait long enough, someone will come along and save you.

these are the facts: no one will.

the way things work on 2b2t, fit will tell anyone who cares to listen, is that you always trust that people will be untrustworthy. everyone is a traitor and a backstabber and everyone knows it. you don't have to bother trying to figure out who's a good guy or a bad guy.

#sorrelposting #qsmp #qsmp fitmc #fitmc #my writing #welp this one got away from me a little bti #idk somethign about fit just make my brain get squeezed like squeaky toy

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asteriaas-stuffs · 1 year

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Self hypnosis to enter void.

Self-hypnosis is a naturally occurring state of mind which can be defined as a heightened state of focused concentration. With it, you can change your thinking, kick bad habits, and take control of the person you are—along with relaxation and destressing from everyday life. It's similar to meditation and results in a better you.

How to apply self hypnosis.

Get into comfortable clothing. It's pretty hard entering any kind of deep, relaxed state when all you can think about is the waistband of your jeans cutting off your circulation. So take this as an excuse to throw on some sweats. You want absolutely nothing distracting you.

Make sure the temperature is good, too. Have a blanket or a sweater ready if you run on the chilly side. Sometimes feeling warm can be very comforting, too.

Although some people prefer to lie down, you are more susceptible to sleep than when sitting up. Whether you sit or lie, ensure that you do not cross your legs or any part of your body. You may be in this position for a while and this could end up being uncomfortable.

No self-hypnosis is effective if it gets interrupted by a phone call, a pet, or a kid. Turn off your phone (and the alerts), lock the door, and sequester yourself. This is you time.

The amount of time you want to dedicate to this is up to you. Most prefer to be in a trance (we try to avoid that phrase as it has certain...err...negative connotations) for about 15 or 20 minutes, but you should also allow time to get in and out of it, too.

Figure out your hypnosis goals. Are you doing it just to relax? For self-improvement? To train your brain? If you're doing it to achieve a greater end (weight loss, void), prepare a list of affirmations. Self-hypnosis can be used just for relaxation, sure, but it can be for a number of life-enhancing things, too. Many use it to achieve their goals, change their thinking, or just as general positive reinforcement or motivation. Here are some examples of affirmations you could try: I'm capable of letting go everything that's stopping me to connect myself from my higher self or you can use void Affirmation you prefer .

Entering hypnosis

Close your eyes and work to rid your mind of any feelings of fear, stress, or anxiety. When you begin, you might find it difficult not to think. You may find that thoughts keep intruding. When this happens, don't try to force the thoughts out. Observe them impartially, and then let them slip away.

Alternatively, some like to pick a point on the wall and focus on it. It could be the corner, it could be a smudge, it could be wherever you want it to be. Focus on the point, concentrating on your eyelids. Repeat to yourself that they're getting heavier and heavier and let them close when you cannot keep them open anymore.

Recognize the tension in your body. Beginning with your toes, imagine the tension slowly falling away from your body and vanishing. Imagine it freeing each body part one at a time starting with your toes and working its way up your body. Visualize each part of your body becoming lighter and lighter as the tension is removed.

Relax your toes, then your feet. Continue with your calves, thighs, hips, stomach and so on, until you've relaxed each portion, including your face and head. Using imagery techniques of something you find comforting or soothing, such as water (feel the water rushing over your feet and ankles, cleansing them of tension) can be effective as well.

Take slow, deep breaths. When you exhale, see the tension and negativity leaving in a dark cloud. As you inhale, see the air returning as a bright force filled with life and energy.

At this point, you can use visualization as you so choose. Think of a lemon and cut it in half in your mind. Imagine the juices oozing out and getting over your fingers. Place it in your mouth. What's your reaction? How does it feel, taste, and smell? Then, move onto more meaningful visions. Imagine your bills blowing away in the breeze. Imagine you running off those pounds. Get as detailed as possible. Always think of your five senses.

Appreciate the fact that you are now extremely relaxed. Imagine you are at the top of a flight of 10 stairs which at the fifth step start to submerge into water. Picture every detail of this scene from the top to the bottom. Tell yourself that you are going to descend the stairs, counting each step down, starting at 10. Picture each number in your mind. Imagine that each number you count is further down and one step closer to the bottom. After each number, you will feel yourself drifting further and further into deep relaxation.

As you take each step, imagine the feel of the step under your feet. Once you are at the fifth step imagine and truly feel the refreshing coolness of the water and tell yourself that you are stepping into an oasis of purity and cleanliness. As you begin to descend the last five steps, start to feel the water getting higher and higher up your body. You should now start to feel somewhat numb and your heart will start to race a bit, but notice it and let any qualms about the situation just drift away into the water.

Feel a floating sensation.

Repeat your affirmation to yourself as many times as you wish.

And after some minutes you're on the void boom . You can use any mediation short ones beforehand to focus or use any subliminal i would suggest lotsumi and Arabella subliminal .

#void state #law of assumption #affirm and persist #subconscious #affirmyourreality #i am god #manifestation

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shxyss1n1st3rr3ads · 9 months

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red light-woosan

pairing- dancer! woosan x chubby POC ! reader summary: You go out to a club with your friends and find yourself in a 0-100 situation.

Walking into any club can make you extremely nervous. But this one for some reason, made my stomach do weird things. As I walked in, trailing behind my friend Livia, I started to notice the red lights coming from down the hall, in the direction we were going. As we entered the main area, I quickly looked around liking to know what my surroundings always looked like. As I look around more and more, I start to notice some of the men are dressed alike. They were all dressed in ripped loose pants and no shirt. The red lights around made their bodies look Godly.

No wonder Livia chose this one.

“Aren’t they so hot?!” Livia yells next to you. I pull my eyes away from the beautiful men and looked at her nodding. I don’t say anything because this whole situation makes me so nervous, and I didn’t want to sound stupid. I continue to look trying to find a safe spot I can go so I don’t feel in the way of the entrance.

Livia had mentioned that this club had a no foreigner rule, so everyone that walked past me took a long look. And I mean they didn’t even try to hide the fact that they were staring. But being in Korea as a thicker POC, it’s expected.

We walk further inside, and I notice that all the men are dancing with pretty girls in pretty dresses.

“They are the dancers here! They are supposed to just walk up to anyone and ask them to dance.” Livia yells over the music. That’s actually a good idea since a lot of the clubs have people just standing around. But I also couldn’t imagine dancing for hours on end.

I couldn’t help but to notice how all the guys were dancing with smaller and pretty women. I’m not insecure, but things like that makes me a little sad because there’s no chance any of them are willing to dance with me. I’m bigger and not Korean. I don’t feed into my insecurities though. If they don’t want to dance with me then its their loss, not mine.

I head to the bar as my friend heads to the dance floor wanting to dance right away. She fits perfectly in with the crowds. A daunting thought in the back of my mind makes me think that I would take up most of the space so why even attempt to go down there. I’ll probably be the only one not dancing with someone. But that’s the thing, I don’t need anyone to have fun and I knew Livia had my back and would drop any guy to help me out, she’s done it before. There were also times where I had to push her back because I didn’t want her dropping everything when I’m a little down.

I ordered the strongest drink and continued to look around. There are regular lights here at the bar. The red lights are mainly on the dance floor, so it was much easier to see around me. As I look around, I notice so many pretty women, and I stare in awe. The men were also drop dead gorgeous.

I’ve gotten used to being the bigger girl here. For the first 6 months of living here. It did hurt a bit when everyone seemed to go after Livia more. But she fit the beauty standard, especially since she is half Korean herself. I’m black and white. A thick girl, standing at (height) and (weight). I wore it well, at least I thought I did until I got here.

After about a year here, I was used to how they treated me. Concluded that I’m not here for love, I’m here to experience Korea itself, and to enjoy myself. I started to go to the gym more as well, makes me feel better overall.

I sipped on my drink when I got it, enjoying the sight of Livia dancing with all types of people. I laugh when she pushes another dancer for one of the shirtless guys.

On the far side of the room, the floor rises a bit and there was a metal fence along it, allowing people to lean over and watch the dancers. I couldn’t help but notice two shirtless guys leaning against each other and staring in my direction.

My heart starts to beat fast, there’s no way they are looking at me. I look around and see other girls standing next to me at the bar, either ordering a drink or trying to get their man to get them one. I sigh finishing my drink, I turn around and order another one. I start to wonder when I would get the balls to stand up and go dance with Livia.

I peek over at the two guys again. They are now leaning over the railing. Its like they noticed me looking there way again because at the same time they both look up in my direction. My eyes widen and I quickly turn back around as if I got caught doing something that I wasn’t supposed to be doing.

Dammit, I think to myself. Now they know I was looking there way. Fuck it, I peek again. I could hardly tell them apart other than one being slightly taller than the other and the body was built slightly different. The red lights are not helping. They both look like they have black hair, brushed back with some strands in front of their faces. One runs his hand up into his hair, pushing some back.

The taller one looks over to the person who walked up to him and talks to them. I noticed he had a half up and half down style. He then gets pulled away. I quickly look away when the bartender slams the drink down next to me and moves on to the next order. I grabbed it and held the straw against the ice so I could drink it all at once. I set the cup down and look back over seeing neither of the men. Damn, they were a nice sight to see.

I looked back down to look for Livia, but I couldn’t see her due to there being so many people. But I did peep at her white dress amongst the crowd, allowing me to calm down a bit. I don’t want to be left here alone.

I think that I want to just chill here at the bar until Livia is ready to go. Maybe another night I will feel more comfortable. I order another shot wanting to get a little more wasted.

See, I don’t mind being a bigger girl. In fact, I love my body. But other people’s eyes and thoughts on my body practically shove me back into the insecure locker I was trying to desperately get out of my whole life.

Like I thought, the shot made me feel great. I spun around in my seat to maybe get a look for Livia again and maybe join her, but someone was blocking my view. It was a shirtless guy, and he kind of looked like the one you were looking at earlier across the room. His hands were tucked in his front pockets, he slowly tilts his head while keeping eye contact with you. I suddenly get really confused and look around and even behind me (Even though there was only a bartender behind me and helping someone else.) He slowly walks up and stands in front of me. His thighs hit my knees as I sat in the bar stool. I couldn't help but to think that if I opened my legs a little, he could fit right between.

Oh! Maybe he wanted a drink. I slowly try and move around him, but his eyes never leave me.

“Sorry, Ill get out of your way…” I mumbled, hoping that he would get the hint and move back a little so I could leave without bumping into him accidentally. But his hand reaches out and stops me. I pause and look down at his huge pale hand caressing my arm.

“You’re not in my way.” He leans in and whispers in my ear. Maybe he said it normally, the club is loud, and I can’t really hear anything over the sound of my rapidly beating heart. Little did you know, you were making his heartbeat extremely fast too. He doesn’t drink, and this is his job, meaning he rarely gets nervous. He’s confident in himself.

“Why aren’t you dancing?” He asks me with a little smile. I just shrug my shoulders, not really knowing how to answer him. He grabs both of your hands in his and he rubs his thumbs across the top. I can’t help but stare at our hands together. He slowly brings one of my hands up and my eyes follow. He slowly leaves a kiss on top of my fingers smiling at the fact that our eyes are now connected. His lips leave a warm touch, making my heartbeat faster.

“A pretty girl like you must be waiting for someone to ask her, mhm?” He says smoothly. I really had a hard time saying anything. His eyes were so sharp, his skin so smooth. His gaze hurts, so I quickly look away.

He suddenly brings both of my hands up and lays them flat against his chest. One hand feels the pounding of his heart and the other one feels the warmth of his chest. His heart starts beating faster as his hands push my hands down, to trail against the hard muscles on his torso. I couldn’t help myself but bend my fingers at the tips and allow my nails to scratch him along the way. Making him flinch and lean into me. I squeeze my thighs at his reaction.

“Fuck,” He whimpers in my ear. Now my heart is beating out of my chest. I feel his breathing calm down a bit. “Dance with me. Please dance with me. I want-no. I need to feel you against me while we dance.” He pleads in my ear. Two thoughts come up. In America there is these people called fat fuckers or chubby chasers. Who simply wants you because you’re a BBW. Now I may be thick but I’m not extremely fat. But to Koreans, shit I could be. But the second thought is saying fuck it. This god of a man is standing in front of you, leaning into you. Take the fucking dance. So, I nod my head and take his hand as he pulls me in for a dance.

We make it to the dance floor and get swallowed into it, now it feels like I’m in the middle of it. I’m not too sure what to do now that I’m under the watch of this beautiful shirtless man. The song ‘Stay Ready’ by Jhene Aiko comes on, and it makes you smile. A good song I can just vibe too.

I’m not too sure how to impress people, I like to be myself and hope that does the job. The alcohol that I drank earlier is running through my system. I look over at the male in front of me and he smiles softly at me and backs up a bit giving me room to do my thing. He starts sways to the music.

I bring my hands around and move my body to the beat of the song. Swaying to the rhythm, my hands follow the curves of my body. I close my eyes to feel the music through the floor. My butt is moving a little more, my neck moving my head in slow circles. I lean my head back and run my hand around my neck really feeling myself. They lead into my hair, my full body now enjoying the song. I open my eyes and look at the man. He stopped moving and his eyes seemed darker than before. The red light of the club is not helping any. He bites his lower lip and grabs my hand spinning me around. I instantly bend over and grind my ass against him. I can’t help but smile and I feel both of his hands suddenly grab ahold of me and he pushes into me harder. I lean up and his hands take the chance to feel me up even more. I pushed myself away from him and continued dancing in front of him, knowing that he was extremely turned on because I felt the same exact way.

Kendricks part just ended and that’s when I feel hands on my waist. They pull me into a hard body. My eyes pop back open to see the guy lean into my ear and whisper. “God, you’re so fucking hot.” I could feel his hard on as we danced against each other. Our eyes never leave each other’s. Noses bumping against each other’s, lips almost touching.

As the transition of the song comes on and suddenly another set of hands grabs ahold of me and pulls me away from the body I was against. I spun around and then held onto. I look up at a man that was slightly taller and notice him from earlier. His hands trailing from my hips and going up.

“Hi gorgeous.” He mumbles against my skin as he leaves open mouth kisses against my skin. That’s when I realized that maybe they were really looking at me before!

“Hi…” I let out breathlessly. One of his hands lowers itself and lets my hips sway to the song. I soon feel the other guy come back and close me into a shirtless man sandwich.

The next song is ‘Get You’ By Daniel Caesar and Kali Uchis. I thought we were done dancing, but they kept their hold on me. The taller one with the bun holds on to my lower waist and his head leans against mine, our ears almost touching. While the lower one tucks his arms around my waist, just below my breasts and leans his head against my back. Our body moves slowly and in sync to the song. The male behind me, his hands keep moving everywhere and squeezing. He thrusts into my ass every now and then.

The taller one keeps leaving random kisses on my forehead and cheeks and neck. Everywhere he can reach but my lips. It makes me think that maybe they do this with chosen girls, and maybe lips are off limits. They certainly know how to make a girl feel special. The taller one continues to softly sing into my ear as we sway.

The music becomes foggy as I get deeper in my thoughts.

The shorter man, (He is still much taller than me. Two inches maybe?) He lets go and moves letting the cooler air hit my back. I’m already missing his body heat. I thought he was just going to leave but he walked around and stand next to the guy in front of me. He pries one of his hands off me and he join in wrapping both of his hands around me and the other guy. Now that I’m seeing both guys in front of me and side by side. Red light or not, I couldn’t deny how fucking gorgeous they are.

“I’m sorry, I might get fired for this, but I can’t help myself.” The shorter one says and brings the arm that was wrapped around the other guy up and grabs the back of my neck and brings his face to mine. His lips crush mine. I feel him groan against me and they both squeeze me in closer. At this point he was in the middle now and the taller man was blocking anyone from really seeing.

“San…” The taller one says in a warning voice. I went to break away, but he kept me in place. He leaves a couple more kisses on my lips.

I’m honestly in shock. This is such an out of body experience. I lose any words that come to mind.

“We have to go now but I hope to see you again.” The taller one says and leans in and leaves a slow and long kiss on my cheek and gives my ass another small squeeze. “San importunely cut our time here with you short.” He glares at the shorter one. You realized why he was kissing everywhere else so much.

“I’m Wooyoung by the way.” He smiles and drags San away.

#choi san #jung wooyoung #ateez #san x reader #wooyoung x reader #ateez x reader #woosan x reader #woosan #angst #smut #fluff #ateez oneshot #ateez imagine #ateez smut #ateez scenarios

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yupstep · 3 months

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-Legal Name: Aina Calland (No longer goes by that name)

-Call Sign: Zona (picked that name because she saw half a Arizona green tea can that only read ‘Zona’ and thought it was cool)

-Age: 26 8/18/1997

-Nationality: Norwegian

(She speaks Bokmål dialect, her English is a little broken and sometimes she’ll get words mixed up. Fork and f*ck are often an issue when pronouncing)

-Height: 5’8” / 68”

-Weight: 145lbs

Body Notes: Chest tattoo is the Troll Cross which is believed to offer protection. Her back has the Valknut triangles for the loss of her father and wings to guide her.

-Family:

Mother passed when she was 5 in a drunk driving accident. Father passed when she was 17 from CVD caused by unhealthy smoking and drinking habits. She was close with her father, he took care of her and her sister well. Older sister is alive(more info on her later)

-Personality:

Zona is pretty easy going, her mind thinks before she acts during most situations. She is politely aggressive, will often be heard saying please or thank you while cussing someone out. She has dad humor as well as a little bit of dark humor when she thinks no one is listening. Zona has a mild case of Tourette’s, she mainly will whisper small noises as she works or repeat sounds that catch her attention. It’s not very noticeable unless looking for it to happen. She gets awkward around large groups of people she doesn’t know and prefers to stick around a familiar face. The poor girl is an introvert that wants to be an extrovert. She thinks in pictures so visuals are a lot better than verbal instructions or making her read.

Zona started her career to be EMS after finishing high school at the age of 17. She wanted the adrenaline rush of having to think fast to save lives while being physically active. She got a head start in high school and studied for 2 years to get her bachelor degree in Paramedic Science then began her Vocational school right after.

BACKSTORY: (In the works will probably mess with this along the way)

Zona often volunteered her time to help with disaster relief and emergency assistance with the Red Cross in Norway. After a terrorist attack in France, Zona and a few others at her work offered to assist with NATO to help with humanitarian needs in France. It was volunteer based and had an unknown time line. While she was there another attack took place, Zona along with other volunteers and civilians were taken hostage by the terrorists group. She was transported to an unknown location(we still figuring that out) where most hostages were killed or used for ransom. They used Zona as a POW and forced her to tend to their wounded due to her medical background. She was captive for 5 months before Chimera infiltrated the hidden base.

MORE ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED NEXT WILL COME : D I gotta draw more art cuz the plot thickens. I also suck at writing so please forgive me if things don’t make sense…

#artwork #call of duty #cod modern warfare #cod mw2 #digital art #fanart #cod oc art #cod oc #oc #oc art #my art #my ocs #reference #backstory

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definitelynotriana · 4 months

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Hey we just got the Disventure Camp All Stars Intro!

It was so good and they improved so much when it comes to animating the scenes :D

Let’s see what we found..

- So it starts off with Emily pushing off Oliver, Marcus and Nina. So by that I’m guessing that Emily is going to be an antagonist, she doesn’t seems very nice. And will probably cause more drama between the contestants.

- And JAMES AND LAKE LETS GO!! These two seem to get along pretty well. I reckon Aiden, James and Lake are going to be a power trio like Hunter, Ally and Tess last season.

- Speaking of Hunter and Ally, I think they might’ve had an issue that happened before the season started. They also could’ve started dating are now becoming extremely toxic and hostile towards each other. And they must be really loud for Fiore to making them to shut up.

- Also I reckon that Fiore and Alec’s arguments and issues haven’t been resolved, from this photo I predict that he’s just telling her all the things that make her a “mistake”, and I don’t think Fiore cares just by seeing the look on her face

- Miriam is on the look out immediately, considering that she was the winner of season 1, and her age. She’s probably thinking that people are going to target her, (which I don’t blame her for) and is probably looking for an immunity totem. I don’t think she’ll make it far though.

- Now the 2 antagonists, Yul and Grett. From the poster of Grett we can already tell that this will discuss weight loss, and her happiness and stuff. This relationship will most likely be toxic since well, Yul’s in this relationship. It’s either that Yul forced her to lose weight to keep dating her or Grett did it for her own happiness and Yul and Grett are actually a good couple, (though I doubt it.) Most likely, Yul will probably use Grett to get further in the game.

- The look on Jake’s face! I really hope he gets a redemption arc this season and makes it far this time, I thought Aiden and Jake would be friends but from this intro I really don’t think so anymore, hopefully I’m wrong? Anyway, seems like Tom and Aiden become friends, although I don’t think Tom and Aiden will start dating considering Aiden already has a good boyfriend. And by Ashley’s concerned face (not this photo), I reckon she’ll try and help Jake from getting jealous.

- We got a new trio!! And Ellie and Gabby! I never thought that Tess would be into painting, but it would be great for these three to get along this season. Especially away from the Ally and Hunter drama.

- Also the way James looks at Aiden!! So cute, also since when were Aiden’s eyes so round?? It looks different, or is it just me?

- And the season 1 cast! I think Jake is going to have some insecurity issues about Tom, considering that his trust has been broken many times. But I hope that Ashley and Miriam would help them (especially Jake) to be a better couple ❤️

- Connor and Riya being center stage! I bet they’re the main couple, I think over the time before the season Riya got famous and became rich, although from this shot she seems to be fame hungry or whatever you call it.

- Also James and Aiden are holding hands! I love them, Ellie and Gabby have their usual stare and stuff, and Grett and Yul as a couple too.

That’s all for now! And also congrats on finishing reading my very long predictions based on the amazing intro! Thank you Odd Nations Cartoons for working so hard!

You won’t hear from me for a couple days because I’ll busy for the next few days so I hope you understand if I don’t reply to anything for the meanwhile. I’ll maybe post again after Christmas next week!

See you next time!

#disventure camp #disventure camp all stars #tomjake #lgbtq #Disventure camp Aiden #disventure camp jaiden #disventure camp yul x grett #connor disventure camp #disventure camp ashley #disventure camp fiore #disventure camp tess #disventure camp hunter #disventure camp ally #Disventure camp Miriam #odd nation cartoons

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henneseyhoe · 2 years

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WORKOUT

Trevante rhodes X BLACK!FEM!reader.

WARNINGS: HEAVY daddy kink, dirty talk, mentions of weight loss, rough sex, unprotected sex.(slightly unedited)

SUMMARY: you ask your lovely husband to help you with losing a bit of weight, but in the mist of it he challenges you like always, which results in you hurting yourself, so he helps you with a nice massage after.

“You see what you did to me, boy?” I groaned at my husband and rolled my shoulders back before pushing them forward, repeating those motions once more. I was seated at my vanity, looking myself in the mirror and examining my tightened muscles, specifically my stomach, thighs, and shoulders.

“You still sore from that workout? It was three days ago” Trevante chuckled and took a sip of the hot tea I had just previously made for him, the shirtless man walking into our shared bedroom. He hid a small smirk behind the ceramic mug he held as he watched me try to stretch my arms out, his cockiness setting in.

You had recently asked him to help you lose a few pounds for a dress you BEGGED for, but couldn’t fit since they didn’t have your size anymore, yet at the time you were determined to fit it one way or another.

You thought it’d also be a great bonding experience for you both, but it quickly turned into a competition once you both got into the gym, your brain telling you ‘mind over matter’ after your husband decided to say something slick along the lines off “damn, that’s it? I could have atleast did ten more” —And so from there it had turned into who can last the longest rather than just a normal workout session.

“You knew I was overworking! I said three sets was enough, but you just had to go and call me a punk, knowing imma try to keep going and talk my shit” I complained, turning to look back at him, the man rolling his eyes and sitting his mug down on my vanity with his smile still being present. He was only smiling because he knew he had beat me.

Though I never said it, it was very obvious that I wasn’t holding up as well as he was. In fact he felt great, per usual for the man that works out frequently, making sure his body stayed healthy and in shape for his curvy wife.

“Alright, well lemme repay you with a little massage, I’ll have those muscles feeling better in no time” he suggested, laying a small kiss on my neck before placing his hands on my shoulders, applying slight pressure, which made me wince in pain.

My back arched and I reached for his wrists to get them off of me “I’m fine, I don’t need it” I said, shooing his hands away, more so scared of the pain.

“Girl, you just squealed like I hit you or something. get up and go lay on that couch so I can work my magic” he instructed, pointing over to the small lounging area we had in the corner of the room, decorated with a couch and a bookshelf filled with mostly my research books.

cracking his knuckles and smiling down at me, I shook my head and he nodded back at me. His smile was almost devilish, but I discarded any thoughts of him having different plans.

I thought about his proposal for a few seconds and sighed, finally giving in “fine, whatever. But NO funny business, aight?” I squinted at him and stood slowly, careful not to move too much or else I’d suffer the consequences.

“Fine, I promise”

It was obvious he wasn’t going to keep his promise, his hand continuously dipping down to my lower back and upper thigh anytime he felt that I wasn’t paying attention, which I always was. I couldn’t say I told him ‘no’ or was fighting it at all, mostly cause I definitely wasn’t since I played a big part in what I told him not to do by pushing my ass up against him every once and awhile.

Slowly pulling down my shorts with my thongs following, he put his hands on either sides of my hips and pulled them up, his tongue instantly going for my clit. I let out a soft moan, my pussy already dripping in arousal as his tongue swirled and flipped over my clit. He used his hands and put them on my ass cheeks, beginning to bounce me back against his tongue.

“Ride my tongue, baby, just like that”

He encouraged, slipping his long tongue inside of me while humming, the vibrations making me jump and moan louder right after. I reached my hand back and shoved his head deeper while smashing my head into the fluffed pillow, my back arching and hunching up as my walls clenched and unclenched around his tongue, my sweet juices spilling out onto him simultaneously, soaking his beard.

He reached one of his hands down and used the pads of his fingers to rub my clit while applying pressure, matching the speed of his tongue as he began darting it inside of me repeatedly.

“Ouuu! Oh- shit! I’m cumming!”

I shouted into the cushions, my voice barely making a peep until my head popped up from the pillows, turning back to look at him devour me. He smacked my ass with both hands and removed his tongue from my leaking entrance before attaching his mouth back to my clit with his tongue wagging back and forth over the pink, swollen ‘button’, two of his fingers slipping inside of me to add onto the pleasure, ultimately sending me over the edge.

Shaking his head back and forth while still sucking, my legs began to shake aggressively until I felt a gush of water release, the pressure in my lower stomach almost instantly withering away.

He happily slurped up my juices while laying two more slaps on my ass.

“That’s my girl. you did so good, baby” he praised and brought his head back up, kissing my right cheek. I breathed heavily, a weak smile growing on my face before my legs gave out and my lower body collapsed, my skin making contact with the warm, wet spot underneath me.

“I’m tired” I groaned, closing my eyes.

“We still not done. Get that ass up and arch that back for me”

With just those words, my eyes opened back up slowly, my stomach turning. This man had WAY too much energy.

“I can’t, baby. my legs-“

“That wasn’t a question, it was an order.”

He interrupted, grabbing my afro puff and yanking my head back, a gasp escaping my throat. He gripped my hip with his other hand and forced me back up onto my knees, then placing that same hand in the middle of my back, making me form an almost painful arch.

“Ow! Don’t be so rough- ugh!“

I whimpered, the man gripping my hair harder, a pain shooting through my scalp as the result.

I reached my hand back and grabbed a hold of his wrist, making an attempt to get him to loosen his grip.

“I’m starting to remember all that shit you was talking in the gym. Hopefully you ain’t think I forgot too much” he spoke close to my ear while pressing his hard dick to my bare ass, making me realize he had already abandoned both of his bottoms without me noticing.

His voice sent shivers down my spine, the warmth of his tongue that was now sliding up my neck only adding to the sensation as he began rubbing the tip of his dick between my folds, coating the brown head in the slick juices that had threatened to drip from me and ruin my green, velvet couch once again. He began pushing himself inside of me, slipping right in because of how wet I was.

“Fuuuck”

We both cursed, my walls gripping him tightly the more he sunk into me.

“That wet ass pussy gripping me so tight” he cursed against me, pulling me back against his chest and leaning up, beginning to tap my swollen clit with his fingers, which made me flinch. He let go of my hair and wrapped his arm around my body, him holding my bouncing titties in place with as he sped up his strokes, already hitting so deep that it had me seeing stars.

He looked down between us and watched my ass bounce back onto his pelvis, the jiggling resembling water waves crashing against itself.

“Daddy— you’re so fuckin’ deep!”

“This whatchu wanted right? Thought you was slick pushin’ that ass against me, huh?”

“I’m sorry—“

I spoke through my clenched teeth, watching us both in the reflection of the slightly opened window in front of us, a soft, southern breeze blowing in from the bottom. beginning to grind my ass back onto him as tears left my eyes, he let go of me, allowing me to collapse back into the couch.

“Oh you fuckin’ back now?” He began matching my motion, grinding his dick into me, a prolonged moan slipping from my lips as I clenched around him once more.

“You taking this dick so well, baby. Can I go faster?”

I couldn’t respond if I wanted to. My tear stained cheeks was pressed against the chairs arm as I laid there limp, having no choice but to take every inch he gave me.

he took my silence as a ‘yes’ regardless of me not answering, quickly bracing himself to continue the punishment on my gspot, and so he did.

Now pounding me from the back, one of his legs being planted on the couch and the other hanging off while his hands pressed into the arch of my spine, his strokes almost being deep enough to curve the perfect shape of the bone, or at least that’s what it felt like in the moment.

I gripped the couch pillows so hard that my French tip acrylic nails almost popped off one by one. Drool dripped from the corner of my mouth as it stayed agape, leaving a dark, wet puddle on the sage colored velvet. my eyes rolled back and small, pathetic whimpers left my mouth the harder he went, the man feeling empowered just by watching my reaction to a treatment he would have loved to give me everyday.

“Keep that fuckin’ arch. Don’t you fuckin’ move, girl”

He cooed down at me effortlessly, as if he wasn’t driving into my gspot at 40mph.

“Y-yesss, ye-yes, daddy”

I muttered, struggling to form words as he poked at my spot again, continuing to dirty talk me as if we weren’t right by an open window with nosy elderly neighbors.

“Tell daddy how sorry you are”

“I’m so sorry, daddy” I cried out.

“Daddy beatin’ that pussy right?”

I nodded and continued to whine uncontrollably, my body starting to convulse from feeling my next orgasm rising.

If the neighbors haven’t heard anything by now, they most definitely heard me begging him for some kind of mercy.

“I made that pain go away that quick, huh? I’m starting to think you were faking”

He spoke between thrusts, slowing down so that he could grind into me deeply, looking down and watching my cream collect around the base of his dick. I could feel every inch, vein, and thickness of him. every detail of him rubbing against my walls every time he pushed inside of me completely, the upwards curve of his dick reaching places I didn’t even know were there.

“Fuck-“

“Answer my question”

He smacked my ass, my back hunching and arching again.

“yes, daddy!”

“This pussy all for me? It’s mine?”

I again nodded lazily, biting my bottom lip to hide my hoarse voice.

“Mhmm”

He hummed, pulling out and reattaching his mouth to my pussy, licking up the mess I made. his lips eased between mine as he slurped me up like his last meal, his tongue trailing up to my second hole, licking around my rim and going back down.

I could barely hide my shaking, not that I had the energy to try, but if I did, I would have failed miserably with the way he was eating me. At this point it felt as if my body had turned to jelly, the man making it his goal to break me down completely.

Slipping two fingers inside of me, he thrusts them downwards, aiming for my gspot.

“You look so pretty, baby” he kissed my right cheek before catching his bottom lip between his teeth, his hand speeding up at the same time. A powerful euphoric feeling rushes up my torso, swirling around in the bottom of my stomach as I came all over his hand once again, the milky substance dripping down his arm.

Two more orgasms and an hour later, he hadn’t let up one bit.

I was now currently laid out on our shared bed, flipped onto my back, my legs spread open and pinned to the mattress by my own hands as Trevante delivered shallow thrusts into me while keeping his thumb attached to my clit with his other hand pressed down on the bottom of my stomach.

He thrusted his hips upwards just to see me flinch and shake, feeling the tip of his curved dick poke at the palm of his hand with every movement.

By now I was convinced this man secretly had it out for me and he was trying to make me die on the dick. I was on the verge of passing out and he gave zero fucks about it. And all of this to prove a point I didn’t remember.

“Fuck! I- I can’t-“

I whimpered pathetically, throwing my head back against the soft, plush pillows. My mouth was dry from it being open half of the time, the constant gasping of air and rough treatment not helping at all.

“Yes you can. Give daddy that last nut, baby. You can do it”

He encouraged, watching my face contort, my eyes starting to water once again.

I let out a string of loud, almost pornographic moans, my head popping up from the pillows to watch him rub my clit, the bundle of nerves starting to jump against his thumb as I began squirting all over his arm and torso, leaving his chiseled body glistening, just how I liked it.

“There we go, baby”

He leaned down and kissed my swollen lips, his hand now caressing my face and wiping away my tears. He slowly pulled out, careful not to hurt me by mistake.

“You didn’t cum?”

I asked breathlessly, genuinely wondering. He just smiled and pecked my lips before speaking.

“you thought we was done? We can worry about that later. Imma go run you a bath so we can really take care of those sore muscles, aight?” He suggested and I smiled up at him, nodding.

His duality will forever have me confused. He fucked me like a slut and after, I’d have him wrapped around my little finger.

#henneseyhoe #black reader #black!fem!reader #black fanfic writer #black!oc #black!reader #black actors #actor smut #smut masterlist #masterlist #smutty #trevante rhodes x reader #trevante rhodes imagines #trevante rhodes smut

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luxora · 1 year

Text

Blackpink -> {Goddess AU} -> Meeting their demigod child

Requested: No

Group: Blackpink

Genre: Fluff.

Jisoo

There was hardly anything that could instill fear in a god since they are the most powerful beings in the world, or rather, through all the combined worlds and universes. They were capable of taking out mortal civilizations with nothing more than a flick of the finger or a gust of air, mortals unable to fight against them simply because of their lack of power in comparison to the gods.

Jisoo was a goddess worth being feared of, mostly due to her disdain for mortals. While she was known as being a very reclusive goddess, her power was not to be underestimated, especially when she believed that you have committed a wrongful act in her realm. She was responsible for everything connected to nature; therefore, she perceived anything that tended to try destroy it being an enemy; human mortals being the primary enemy in her realm.

And yet despite her obvious disdain for humans, she fell in love with one, and to make matters worse (or better), she had conceived a child with them.

Jisoo was at a loss of what to do. While she has obviously seen offspring being produced between two mates, human and nonhuman, Jisoo never perceived herself as being one of the gods or goddess that decidedly fall in love with a mortal due to the obvious difference in power. In all, honestly, it never was supposed to happen and yet it did, and Jisoo had to endure nine months of pregnancy until you finally gave birth to a beautiful baby girl.

A demigod baby girl, to be more exact.

Jisoo didn’t quite know what to do, she was hardly the motherly types, especially since her reputation precedes her as a cold goddess with a hatred for humans. And yet here she sat on a bed, you in it as you cradled the newborn babe in your arms, a tired smile on your face as you gently hummed a tune which was foreign to Jisoo but familiar to you. Jisoo just watched in silence, her dark eyes fixed on the blanketed figure on your arms until your finally raised your head to look at her.

“Do you want to hold her?” You asked, stunning Jisoo with the question.

“Oh...I...I couldn’t.” She refused, shaking her head as she glanced back down at the sleeping babe in your arms. But you were not accepting her answer.

“Come sit next to me.” You said, shuffling in the bed to provide a sitting space for her next to you. Jisoo obeyed immediately, slowly moving from her seat on the foot of the bed to sit next to you, her back pressed against the headboard. You then began to move the babe towards her, and embarrassingly, Jisoo panicked.

“Y/N, it is not a good idea!’

“Jisoo, she is your daughter. Hold her. She isn’t going to bite.”

The goddess floundered at the statement, it not quite sinking in that she was a mother, especially to a demigod child. She recalled once in the past that she stated to all of her siblings and fellow gods and goddesses that she never intends to become romantically involved with a mortal, much less have a child with one. But it seemed that she went back on her word as she found herself nervously cradling a baby, its head pressed against her chest as it continued to slumber.

“...”

Jisoo couldn’t help but stare down at the babe in memorization. Despite it being born a few hours ago, she could already see features that belonged to both herself and you. The babe had her black hair, dark as a Winter’s night during the full moon, as well as her perfectly angular nose, while from your side, the babe had your adorable cheeks, slightly red and plump, almost charming her to give them a soft squeeze. The babe was so tiny in her arms, and yet was not light. Jisoo felt her arm sinking at it supported the babe’s weight, its head nested in her elbow.

“Isn’t she beautiful?” You cooed, resting your head on Jisoo’s shoulder as you smiled down at the babe in Jisoo’s arms. The goddess couldn’t help but nod in agreement.

“She the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.” Jisoo confessed, gingerly moving her other arm to slowly trail a finger tip along that adorable cheek that was calling for her to pinch it. She instead gently poked it, reveling in its supple skin. She felt you press a kiss to her cheek.

“She’s our daughter Jisoo.” You breathed, returning your head to its previous position on her shoulder. Jisoo nodded again.

“Yes...”

Jisoo was a mother, a mother and partner to a pair of humans. It was you who truly desired a child from Jisoo, and despite her previous misconceptions regarding mortals and their continuous need of expanding their numbers, she gave in to your desire and now she had a daughter in her hands. A daughter which was the mixed creation of a goddess and a human. Despite the newness of the whole situation, a span of warmth filled Jisoo until she could feel nothing else but the one emotion that entered the realm of her younger sister.

“I love her.” Jisoo confessed, which in turn made you smile as she gently brought your hand to your daughter’s head, gently stroking its black locks as it continued to sleep.

“I love her too. Thank you for giving her to me.”

“No.” Jisoo suddenly said, turning around to look at your confused eyes, shaking her head gently before leaning in to press a kiss to your lips, whispering against them as she uttered the words ingrained in her heart. “Thank you for asking for her.”

Jennie

Jennie was quite used to figuring out the unusual and discovering the solutions to all problems, hence her title as the goddess of wisdom; therefore, nerves was not a concept she had a firm grasp on. But it was all that Jennie could feel as she appeared in the middle of her temple, like all the times she had before, only this time there was more than just you that she was meeting. There was no one to greet her as she arrived, but she heard movements at the front of the temple, so she slowly walked down the steps and head in the direction of the temple entrance, the movements becoming more prominent until she finally heard the tinkling laugh of a young girl.

Suddenly her heart was in her throat.

Jennie slowly stepped out from the shadows of her temple to see a beautiful girl with chocolate brown locks dancing about on the pathway that led to her temple, small arms reaching above her head as she attempted to catch the fireflies that were flying about in the night sky. Jennie couldn’t help but become transfixed at the sight of the girl, a familiar gummy smile on her face as she giggled at the glowing bugs as she continued to try catch them but to no avail. However, despite the lack of success, she continued to try catch one, a slightly determined glint in her eye as she continued running about which was also very familiar to the goddess.

Movement from the side caught Jennie’s attention, causing her to turn and lock eyes with the very same eyes that were reflected on the little girl’s face, the crooked smile that sent her heart asunder flashed in her direction as its owner stepped towards Jennie, hand reached out to the little girl.

“Ana love, our guest has arrived.”

The little girl immediately turned to you before looking at Jennie, a stunned look on her face as she took in Jennie’s ethereal beauty before flashing her a gummy smile, hurrying over to Jennie before you could say or do anything to stop her. Jennie couldn’t help but immediately kneel down at the girl’s small height, a soft smile on her face as she allowed the girl to invade her space.

“Mama?” She asked, eyes filled with wonderment as she continued to stare at Jennie with memorization.

The very sound of the title sent Jennie’s chest into a flourish of butterflies, filling her up with so much warmth. Jennie nodded and flashed her signature gummy smile at the little girl before holding out her hand to her, the girl’s small hand immediately placing itself in Jennie’s larger one, allowing the goddess to enclose her hand with her own.

“Yes little one, it’s so lovely to finally meet you.”

An adorable squeal left Ana’s lips before she all but dived into Jennie, wrapping her arms around her neck as she squeezed her tightly, Jennie’s arms immediately wrapping around her waist in a tight hug, her own nose nuzzled into Ana’s neck as she rebelled in the first hug given to her by her very own daughter.

“Mama...mama...” Ana continued to whisper, nuzzling her own nose into Jennie’s hair, inhaling her natural scent of roses and vanilla.

Footsteps caught Jennie’s attention once again, prompting her to lift her head away from Ana’s neck to look at you walking closer to them, your signature smile on your face as you took in the sight of the two of them finally meeting one another. Jennie stood up from her kneeling position with Ana in tow, her arms still tightly wrapped around the little girl while she wrapped her legs around Jennie’s abdomen so that she would not fall. Jennie smiled softly as you once you eventually reached them.

“You came.” You smiled back.

“Of course, Ana has been wanting to meet you for so long.”

Guilt flashed through Jennie as she glanced at the back of Ana’s head before looking back at you, her grip on Ana tightening ever so slightly.

“I would have come sooner if-”

“Jennie, it’s okay. I understand.”

“But I-”

“You gave me your blessing remember? No harm will come to us when I know you are watching over us. I know it isn’t easy, but we will make it work.”

“I...She...is not going to have an easy life Y/N. A demigod...there are so many dangers that are posed on her.”

“Well, its a good thing that you’re her mother, because she will certainly know how to protect herself since she is a lot more like you than me.”

Jennie chuckled at your words and shook her head, stepping towards you and leaning forward to press a sweet kiss to your lips, pulling away from a few seconds for leaning in for a more fiery one, one hand removing itself from Ana to cradle the side of your neck, keeping you in place as she took her fill of you after being separated for a long while.

“I dare to disagree. I see you in her.”

“Looks and personality are two different things, my goddess.”

Your name for her sent another flurry of butterflies within Jennie, causing her to pull you in for another kiss before leaning away to press her forehead against yours.

“Not to me. You both are perfect.”

“Mama?” Ana’s voice called out, prompting Jennie to pull away from you to give her daughter her undivided attention, smiling serenely at her as she pulled back from her spot at her hair to look at the goddess with wide eyes.

“Yes little one?”

“Are you going to stay with us?”

Jennie glanced over at you before locking eyes with her daughter, a soft smile in place as she nodded and leaned in to press a soft kiss to her daughter’s forehead.

“I will for a little while, my love. I promise.”

The both of you flashed her large smiles as her words, clearly both ecstatic at the prospect of her staying with the two of you, and quite honestly, Jennie was ecstatic at the idea too. She has missed you a lot, and she has missed the first few years of her daughter, she wanted to make up for it and she intended to do so.

Chaeyoung

Chaeyoung did not flinch as you continued to squeeze her hand in a death grip, she instead cooed and gently dabbed at your sweaty forehead as you panted heavily, your swollen belly being the primary focus of everyone in the room, mainly of Chaeyoung’s brother as he continued to hum charms under his breath to try ease your pan levels.

“You are doing so well my love, so well.” She cooed, pressing a kiss to your temple as you continued with your labored breaths.

Another wave of pain washed over you and your already impossibly tight grip tightened even more but Chaeyoung showed no sign of any pain as she continued to allow you to use her to ground yourself in the situation. You whimpered from the pain and turned to look at Chaeyoung, sheer pain and fear in your eyes.

“Chaeyoung, I don’t know if I can do this.” Chaeyoung immediately shook her head and gave your hand a comforting squeeze.

“Don’t say that my love, you can.”

“But I-”

“You can do this my love, I know that you can. Just keep breathing.” Chaeyoung leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your lips before whipping her head around to look at her brother, flashing him a glare. “What is taking so long?”

“I am trying Chae, but things like this can’t be rushed.”

“She is in pain, do something about it!”

“What do you think I have been doing?!”

Both gods glared at one another, Chaeyoung glaring with protective rage in her eyes while her brother glared at her with frustration and exhaustion. Chaeyoung growled and looked back to stare at you, her eyes softened for a moment until you let out another whimper of pain, prompting her to turn back to her brother with a harsher glare than before.

“Will you make this easier for her already?!”

“Childbirth isn’t something which is supposed to be easy Chaeyoung, especially not when it involves your child.”

Chaeyoung gritted her teeth before turning back to you, placing the damp rag down to instead cradle your cheek, tenderly stroking your cheekbone with her thumb as you continued to groan and whimper in pain.

“It will all be worth it in the end my love, just a little bit longer.”

Despite the obvious pain you were in, you simply nodded at the Goddess of Love and Chaeyoung responded with a tender kiss to your lips, trying her best to take your mind off the obvious pain you were experiencing. She wishes that she could take your place to elevate your pain, but she was unfortunately not in the position to do so, and so she had no choice but to remain by your side during your labor as your body prepped itself to give birth to her and your first child.

While she knows that her brother is the God of Medicine and Healing, she fully wanted to throttle him because she felt that he was not doing his job, especially since you were still in pain despite the many charms he was uttering for you. Chaeyoung saw no reason of why you had to suffer so much, but according to her brother, it was impossible for a human not to experience pain during childbirth because it was literally their body which was going through painful changes to accommodate the newborn babe.

It was a fact that Chaeyoung had to accept, but that didn’t mean she liked it. In fact, she hated it, but she could only hold your hand and continue to spout tender words to you as your body was eventually ready to push, her brother talking you through the entire process while Chaeyoung remained by your side, waiting anxiously for the infamous cry of your and her child.

/ - /

Chaeyoung couldn’t take her eyes off him, her arms cradling him in a protective hold as his makeshift blanket ruffled against her arms as he moved his arms about, clearly adjusting himself to the new world he has been born into. Despite the heated glares and shouts they had shared, Chaeyoung’s brother gave her a smile as she handed off her newborn son.

“Congratulations sis, its a boy.”

Chaeyoung didn’t acknowledge his words as she continued to stare down at the beautiful sight in her arms. While Chaeyoung was the very representation and essence of beauty in this world and all its many other realms, she couldn’t help but bow in submission to the little babe in her arms. Despite his eyes still being tightly closed shut, she couldn’t help but feel she was staring into the eyes of the very universe, before even the creation of the gods that held the answers to everything from the beginning.

“Chaeyoung?” Your voice called out, tired and fatigued but also happy, prompting Chaeyoung to turn around and face you as you continued to lay in bed.

You looked exhausted and pale, most definitely due to the intensive hours of labor you were forced to endure, but you had a glow around you which made you look ethereal to Chaeyoung. The Goddess of love suddenly smiled at you, stepping forward and taking a seat beside you before looking down at the newborn babe in her arms.

“We have a son love.” She whispered, still mesmerized by the fact that she was holding her son in her arms. You hummed and reached out to trace a finger along his forehead, a tired smile on your face.

“Yes...a son.” You repeated, turning to glance at Chaeyoung only for her not to pay too much mind to it because her focus was entirely fixed on the babe. You chuckled. “Am I allowed to hold him?”

“Huh? Oh...Oh! Yes, of course my love!”

Chaeyoung couldn’t help but flush in embarrassment at being caught completely unaware of her selfish actions despite it being you who had delivered your and her son in the first place. Chaeyoung heard her brother snicker at her expense but decided to ignore it as she slowly shifted her son into your arms, wrapping her arm around your shoulder and she pressed herself against your side, not wanting to be separated from you or her son for even a moment. She pressed a kiss to your temple.

“Well done, my love.” She cooed, which prompted a giggle out of you.

“I wouldn’t have gotten through it without you.” Chaeyoung pressed another kiss to your temple.

“I’m just glad you are okay now. I hate seeing you in pain.”

“After seeing this treasure...it was worth it.”

Both you and Chaeyoung smiled down at your son, mesmerized at the very sight of him and allowing each other to revel in each other’s presence with the promise that you and the babe are safe from any possible dangers. Chaeyoung’s brother murmured his departure to the two of them, but Chaeyoung stopped him with a look.

“Thank you.” She uttered, which he answered back with a smile.

“It was a pleasure sis. I am honored to be the first one to meet my nephew.”

And then he vanished, leaving Chaeyoung and her small family behind in your bedroom, enveloped in a haze of warmth and happiness.

Lisa

Gods and goddesses are renowned for their reputations of being bad parents, courtesy of their inability of being there fore their children when they needed it the most. Being the Goddess of War, almost nothing terrified Lisa, and yet it came to meeting you to figure out she did have a fear after all and that was to be a terrible parent like her parents were to her.

At the beginning, she never wanted a child, especially not with you because then it would put you at risk. Demigod children were notoriously known for being difficult births and after everything you have lived through, she did not want you life line to be cut all because you wanted a child with Lisa. But like the warships in a war, you eventually wore down her walls and she gave in, but now a whole new level of fear was created because she wondered about her possible future with you and her child.

It is almost embarrassing with how much time she spent with her older sister Jennie to try prepare herself for parenthood, especially since her sister had recently become a parent herself. But unlike Jennie, Lisa never really was the favorite because of her more...rebellious nature, but it did not phase Jennie much as she was more than happy to impart her words of wisdom to her younger sister, her partner even informing Lisa of how to care for you before and after the birth of the child.

When the due date already came, Lisa was scared to her wits end. She could face the battle of war, the corpses that were the results of the bloody battle, but nothing could ever prepare her for the fear she felt when she watched you scream in pain as you gave birth to the child. It almost didn’t seem worth it, no pain could be worth anything, especially not when Lisa could not do much about it. She eventually got so panicked and terrified that you all but ordered her out the room, unable to focus on the process when she was pulling daggers to the healers throats as they tried to help her during the birth.

It was almost as if Jennie sensed her panic because while Lisa was pacing outside of the healer tent, Jennie appeared beside her and grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her to look at her.

“You need to breathe.”

“But Y/N is-”

“Lisa. Breathe.”

Despite her desire to shove her sister away from her, she instead obeyed and matched the slow, heavy breathing pace that her sister was instigating to try calm her raging heart, eventually getting it under control. Jennie remained by her side for a small while until the sound of a baby crying caught both of their attention, Lisa’s head snapping in the direction of the tent. Jennie smiled and nudged Lisa in the back.

“Go.”

Lisa did not need to be told twice. The goddess all but sprinted to the healers camp and pushed herself inside, eyes immediately going to your bed with your body laying in it. You were holding a small bundle in your arms and had the most serene smile on your face as you softly cooed at the bundle and slowly rocked your arms. A lump formed in Lisa’s throat and she didn’t even realize she was walking towards you until she was finally at the foot of your bed, your head raising to lock your eyes with hers. You smiled at her.

“Come meet your son Lisa.”

Her son.

Lisa’s lips parted at the information, her eyes widening before she slowly made her way to stand by her side and peer down at the very carbon copy of you. Even though it was a newborn babe, Lisa couldn’t already tell it had your nose and mouth shape, your adorable plump cheeks staring up at her, as well as your signature dark locks. You beamed up at Lisa before removing one arm from under the babe to pat the space next to you.

“Sit with me.”

Lisa hesitated for a moment before obeying, taking a seat next to you with her eyes still transfixed on the babe in your arms. And then you were suddenly handing it to her.

“Wha- Y/N!!”

“It’s a baby Lisa, not a bomb.”

Lisa suddenly became panicked at the idea of holding the babe, it hardly being something she was used to holding, but then she found herself cradling her son, him being surprisingly heavy despite being so small. Lisa just stared wide-eyed at the babe, glancing between you and him before trembling from the weight of him in her arms. You huffed a taught and then moved a pillow under arms to help give her and him some support.

“That better?”

“I...yes.”

Lisa shifted on the bed so that she was now laying more comfortably beside you with her back pressed against the headboard and her legs laid out in front of her. She kept a firm hold on the babe, warily eyeing him before looking at you, an uncharacteristic nervous look on her face.

“Are...are you okay?” You smiled at her.

“Of course Lisa, I’m still here.”

“Yes but...you...he...” Lisa was unsure on what to say, a mixture of emotions boiling up within her, but then panic set in when the babe began to wiggle and cry in her arms, making the goddess want to bolt from the bed but she was rooted on the spot due to your hand placed on her arm.

“He is okay Lisa. Just rock him a little bit. Yes, just like that.”

Lisa felt so awkward doing such subtle movements in an attempt to appease her crying son, to the extent that the healers in the tent chuckled at the sight of the Goddess of War becoming terrified at the aspect of a crying child. But they immediately paled when Lisa flashed them a fiery glare.

“I don’t know how to do this Y/N.” She eventually confessed, her glares forcing the healers to flee from the tent. She expected anger or annoyance, but instead you smiled and leaned in to press a kiss to your cheek.

“It’s okay. You’ll learn, just like me. We’ll learn together.”

Lisa fixed you with a disbelieving look but then snapped her head at her son as she realized that he was questioning down, her awkward rocks being enough to seduce him back to sleep. Lisa stared wide eyed at her achievement and felt you kiss her cheek again.

“See? Fast learner.”

And Lisa couldn’t help but smile her first smile ever since you got pregnant, nodding before resettling herself on the bed, being sure to support her son properly as he continued to sleep in her arms.

161 notes · View notes

the-hinky-panda · 10 months

Note

Show me all your tatt's, not just the ones that's on your hands

Part I

Part II

Part III

Part IV

Part V

Chibs finally has you in his bed, wrapped in his sheets and nothing else. Smoke from the firepit still clings to your hair, adding to your perfume of eucalyptus and jasmine. Earthy, clean, and feminine. He buries his face in the curve of your neck because he wants to drown in that scent. Your skin is soft but in the dim lighting of the antique bedside lamp, his fingers encounter more raised scars than he anticipated. But gathering those stories will wait until morning.

He can tell you’re used to quick fucks, just scratching an itch and moving on. Your hands are busy, in constant motion: raking through his hair, pressing into the sinews of his back, sliding over the curve of his ass. You’re quick, efficient, working towards the completion of a task. When you reach for his cock is when he grabs your ever busy hands, holding your wrists together in one of his own hands and pinning them above your head.

“Slow, lass. We have all night.” He presses open mouth kisses along the line of your jaw. “And I intend to enjoy every minute.”

You give him a pout but your eyes have nothing but heat in them. “You better not be taking things slow because of what I told you earlier.”

His free hand finds your breast, his thumb flicking your nipple, your back arching underneath him. “Gentle and slow are two different things, luv.”

Your mouth twists into a crooked grin before your legs wrap around his hips. He can feel the strength in them, especially when you squeeze your thighs around his, nudging the tip of his cock against your core.

“Fucking hell, woman!”

You wink up at him. “Years of riding horses, luv.”

Well, if that’s the way you want this to go, who is he to deny you that? He can go slow the second round, after he wears you out a little bit. He’ll give up some ground there. He allows you to move him into position, notched against your entrance. You bite your lip and raise an eyebrow when he rolls his hips forward, sliding partially into you.

“Looks like I win this time.”

He huffs a laugh. “Don’t get used to it.”

He releases your hands and they immediately pull his face down to yours. You kiss him slowly, languidly, and he slides into you completely. It’s obvious you’ve headed his request to slow down; you’ve conceded some ground as well. Your legs remain wrapped around his hips, your hands gripping his shoulders so you have leverage to follow his pace. It’s a fucking spiritual encounter, your movements completely in sync with his, and it feels fucking amazing. He wants to slow it down even more, savor the feelings of your skin against his, your wet heat gripping his cock perfectly.

But then your breath catches, your head tips back and back arches and he knows the end is coming. The headboard bangs against the wall as he chases his completion, spilling himself inside of you at the same time your shake underneath him with your release. He drops his forehead to your shoulder, pressing slopping kisses against your now salty, smokey skin. It takes a moment for him to realize the person on the other side of the wall is banging back with an irritated “Knock it off and go to sleep!” Both of you glare at the offending wall and shout “Fuck off” before dissolving into a fit laughter.

He rolls onto his back, still chuckling, pulling you against him. You curl comfortably against his side, your head resting on his chest and a leg wrapped around his. He realizes this is the lightest he’s felt in months. The weight of grief with the recent losses, the stress of running the club, it’s suffocating. Being in Ireland drudges up an endless amount of memories and failures as well. All of it heavy, weighted chains pulling him down. Even his most recent failure with Althea, sex was something about proving something, his feelings for her, the shaky trust that would never be good enough for her. He had tried, he honest to God had tried to make it work with her.

He’s tired of failing with relationships.

But now, he feels like he’s able to take in a full breath of air now. With you, there’s no proving anything. There’s no competition or pushing each other until the other snaps. You fell into bed because you liked each other, respected each other. You didn’t second guess his every move and he didn’t worry about what you wanted from him. It was simple, direct, and hands down one of the best sexual encounters he’s had.

He very well could fall in love with you.

“You okay?”

He can hear the doubt in your voice, the caution in your touch as you trace the edges of the tattoo on his chest. “Fuckin’ stellar luv.”

You laugh quietly. “I have that effect on men. And a couple women.”

“Oh, I wanna hear that story.”

You kiss him briefly, sweetly, before sliding out from under the blankets. You reach down and start gathering up your clothes and he realizes that you’re getting ready to go back to your room. He reaches out, slides a hand over your back, along the curve of your waist, and rests it on the top of your hand.

“Stay.”

You turn and look at him over your shoulder, hair mussed and skin glowing warm in the soft lamplight. You’re a vision and he could stare at you for the rest of the night if you’d let him. He really hopes you’ll let him. A soft smile tugs at your lips, all sarcasm and biting wit gone from it. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

You lift your hand up and brush your lips over his knuckles. “Okay. Let me get cleaned up and I’ll be back.”

He watches you cross the room, not a scrap of clothing on your body and zero shame in that state. He has questions about the scars he came across on your shoulder and stomach. You have tattoos that he hadn’t seen before: a horseshoe with sunflowers around it and an abstract horse made of curling lines on your shoulder blade. Both have initials and dates hidden in the artwork. He wants to know the stories behind those too. You step out of the bathroom and return to the bed, returning to his side. You lay your head on the pillow, facing him, your thumb running along his cheekbone, that soft smile returning to your lips before your eyes close.

Who is he kidding? He’s already fallen in love with you.

#chibs x you #chibs x reader #chibs telford x you #chibs telford x reader #chibs telford fic #chibs sons of anarchy #chibs telford #chibs imagine

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wh0refornikolailantsov · 11 months

Note

Prompt: “It was all I had left of them.”

Song: Matilda – Harry Styles

For Reader x Tolya please?

Hold Onto Me - Tolya Yul Bataar

Content Warning: Discussions Of Loss. Not Beta/Proof Read.

You know there are more things to be precious about, that sentimentality is better reserved for things that will last, or on people. Which there are no guarantees about either, but energy is often better spent on those that are still here, you know that well enough. You cannot change what has happened but you can impact what is yet to come. You cannot save those you've already lost, but you can hold onto those you have found. You can help protect those who aren't yet gone.

But knowing something is true and living by that truth are not things that are intrinsically linked. You can know something is bad for you and keep it anyway. You can know something is good for you, but that doesn't make you innately drawn to it. People are inherently flawed in more ways than one, and this, the knowing and not living by that knowledge is simply one of those things. Because feelings almost always override knowledge, sense, and you're not an exception to that rule.

So when the pocket watch fell from your bag and the glass shattered and each tiny piece of the metal work scattered from one another, cascading across the floor in nothing more than spare parts, your heart felt like it gave up on itself.

You hadn't the time to collect the pieces, you reached for the floor and wrapped a hand around a single bronze hand when someone grabbed a fistful of your sleeve and was pulling you along.

Now you're staring at that same hand, all twisted in this beautiful intricacy that once built upon more piece to create this wild world within the watch, all ivy and wilderness. Now just one hand lain in your palm it would be hard to imagine the dynasty of artwork such a small watch contained. You'd only ever seen one anything like it before, this silver clasp that held a pattern of the suns movement, dial pressed into the centre, starts and constellations underneath the dials, you had mistaken it more than once for a compass, but it seemed to keep in track of the bells and you weren't sure how it did that, until you watched it get twisted by tired hands as the first bells of the day rang out. It took dedication to keep that invention working. This one, the one that had been yours, you don't think it ever worked, it was more of an idea than a tool, but when it was wound it would play small music notes, you knew it was supposed to tell you when to come home, but the home it had been designed to call you back to had not existed for a long time.

"Caught your breath?" comes Tolya's voice, coming to join you in your solitude. You shrug.

"Contemplating the futility of sentiment," you inform him.

He places a hand over his heart and winces. "You cannot mean that," he says, giving you a grin.

"To a degree," you say, holding the clock hand to the light. Tolya frowns at the small piece of metal.

"That looks like it belongs in your pocket watch," he says. You nod.

"It did," you say. “It was all I had left of them.” You fold your fingers around the hand, pushing it tightly into your palm, as if the act of holding it tight enough could make the metal a part of you. "It was... it was from my family, when I was younger I would wander farther than they liked, but after a while they realised trying to keep me in was never going to work, so instead they decided to let me explore, have my time and my adventure, but they needed a way to remind me to come home. When I got old enough the sound of the bells ringing got too far away in the distance I would travel, so my parents gave me this, my father tried to make a small clock that would remind me of time passing, it never worked, but the weight of it in my pocket, was always enough to remind me if I got lost in my wanderings, that people were waiting for me." You open your fist again to look at the small twisted metal. "I have no one calling me home anymore, so I suppose I no longer needed a reminder to go home, but it... it never worked as an object but it was fit for purpose and it was home, a reminder that I had one, where people were waiting for me, and I guess I have held onto it for so long," you catch your words on your inhale, feeling Tolya's eyes on you, listening so intently, "I was just hoping to find something to come home to again."

"What happened to it?" he asks, as if talking of it would make a difference, but sometimes people need an opportunity or an opening, or a half decent excuse to keep talking.

"When we were running," you explain, "it must've gotten loose and before I realised it hit the ground and it was in pieces and I barely got one bit off the floor before Tamar was pulling me along. I know she was saving my ass, I am not mad about it..." you sigh, "I am just... sad I guess."

"You can mourn an object too," he tells you, "especially something that holds so much love in it, it's like any other loss. You feel its absence."

"It just feels like a childish thing to be sad about," you say, "it wasn't worth anything, it was a few pieces of metal and a twisted mechanism from a music box, something I probably should have let go of a long time ago."

"Everyone has something," Tolya tells you, "something we keep not because it's practical, or because it's pretty, not because it has inherent value, but because of the narrative of the object, the stories it holds and the memories that lay within them. That was a piece of home, it's not childish to mourn that."

You tap your nail on the clock hand and try to take comfort in his words. "Thank you," you tell him after a while. "You're always so kind to me."

He smiles. "I treat you as you deserve to be treated," he says, "and it saddens me at the rarity of that."

You lean into him gently, allowing his presence to be your solace as you watch the sky, content in each others quiet.

You're helping Leoni with untangling the mess that was left of the supplies, she is explaining the topaz and amethyst gems in her hair, explaining the people they represent and you're listening, nodding along as she talks of her mother, and the woman who saved her as a child, it explains a lot about her. You have admired Leoni's sunny disposition more than once.

You look up as Tolya approaches and you offer him a smile. "Can I steal this one away from you?" Tolya asks Leoni. Leoni looks like she is pondering it for a moment.

"I don't know, Tolya," she teases, "you may have to fight me, think you've got what it takes?"

Tolya gives her a playful smirk. "I think I can hold my ground," he admits. Leoni nods and gives a wave of dismissal.

"Steal away," she instructs. Tolya gestures a direction and you follow him in it. You make it back to the stones you had been sat on when he found you in your sadness a few days before.

"Working too hard, forcing me to break?" you joke, taking your seat on the rock. It's colder than it was before, or maybe your detection of temperature has come back stronger as you let the waves of sadness slowly subside within you.

"I don't know what I am looking at," Tolya admits, "and I am not skilled in the mechanics of these sorts of things, and I am sure I did not find all the pieces, but," he pulls a small cloth from his pocket and unfolds it to reveal many parts of the pocket watch. He is right, you can tell by looking them over that cogs and mechanism pieces are missing, but amongst the pieces you can also see drum of the music box.

You reach for it, and amongst the shifted pieces you see the comb that strums the divots to make the noise. You pick it up and haphazardly try to coax the sound with dragging the teeth of the comb over the drum, and it's painful, and disjointed, but after a moment, it almost resembles the music you remember.

"The Flower Maiden?" Tolya asks, trying to pick out the tune. You laugh.

"The fact you can tell that is more a credit to you," you state, "but yes, it was a favourite of my mothers, she heard it on her travels, before she and my father settled." You twist the pieces of the watch around in your hands, short on words that could do the depth of your gratitude justice. "Thank you, Tolya, I cannot... thank you."

He smiles. "It's important to make room for grief and to make time for it. Mourning is something we have to learn to embrace. But I think you've accepted enough loss of late, and one less thing to make you feel that... it seemed like a small undertaking for such an important thing."

"You're always so kind to me Tolya," you say again, smiling through the tears that are welling in your eyes from the tightness in your chest, but for once it isn't all sad.

"I mean to make up for the rarity of it."

#shadow and bone #grishaverse #tolya yul bataar #tolya #tolya x reader #tolya my darling i adore you

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fanderstuckin2018 · 3 months

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Another one!!

A PsychoAnalysis of Virgil Sanders’ Playlist

There is an EXTREME theme in most of Virgil's songs of growing apart from someone. Like I'm talking heavy themes of a messy falling out, and I think we all know what its referencing. But I'll save that to the end. Here's the songs analysis!

Theres a lot of emotions connected with the collapse of a relationship, and its demonstrated so in SO MANY of his songs, so I'll color-code it to make sense. Blue is sadness and regret, red is anger and frustration, yellow is relief. Keep in mind that these arent all the songs, just the ones that most support my theory/analysis.

Sally's Song: talks about being unable to be with someone romantically because of the lack of acknowledgement towards the singer. "What will become of my dear friend? Where will his actions lead us then?" It's mournful of the loss of connection that the singer once had with the subject of the song, like they're longing for it back. Yes ik this song was maybe just added because he likes Nightmare Before Christmas, but it fits into this theme quite well...

It Ends Tonight: Talking about ending a relationship, cutting someone off very messily. "Maybe it's best you leave me alone", "Now I'm on my own side/It's better than being on your side". Despite being more heated, I'd say this can also be a song of relief due to the lyric "a weight is lifted from my chest". ALSO the "darkness turns to light" lyric can directly reference Virgil, and how he essentially "transformed" from being a Dark Side to a Light Side over the course of his character arc.

I'd Hate to Be You When People Find Out What This Song is About: bro this one is RIPE with themes of fall out, as well as regret. The singer seems to have had a hand in this messy breakup or fall out with the subject of the song, and seems resentful of themself for it. "When I asked you/Believe me/You never let go/But I let go". They are conscious of their role in ruining this relationship, and seem to place most of the blame on themselves for it. "And now you're trying desperately/But I'm tongue tied and terrified of what I'll say" implies that they seem to want to get back with whoever they pushed away, but are too afraid of repeating the past to actually reconcile.

A Decade Under the Influence: this song seems to be about friend group issues. There's hints of good memories "You kept still until the long drive home/You slept safe and close to the window", and yet theres the underlying anxiety of "I got a bad feeling about this". Then there's the whole "To hell with you and all your friends" that repeats consistently throughout the song, as well as the lyric "I thought it through and my worst brings out the best in you" making me believe that the singer was probably the butt of the jokes or the most "replaceable" one within the friend group. I hesitate to categorize this song as "angry or frustrated" because it sounds more anxious and paranoid, but can also fall under relief with the context we have of Virgil's story; relief that he doesn't feel that way anymore.

I'm Not Okay: okay I get it this song was put on his playlist cause "haha Virgil emo" but I'm serious it also falls under this theme quite directly. And yes, its regret out of everything. "I never want to let you down/Or have you go, it's better off this way"; despite the singer not wanting their subject to be cut out of their life, its obvious they know its beneficial for both parties. There's a bit of relief as well as regret. I think this can also go along with Influence's themes of being the scapegoat of a friend group, because of the lyrics "forget about the dirty looks" and "You sing the words but don't know what it means/To be a joke".

Thnks Fr th Mmrs: Okay this one is my personal fav, I think Fallout Boy slaps. Anywasy, this song can be both heatedly passionate and relief, but I believe it better fits under relief. It seems like this event that happened is far enough in the past that the singer has come to terms with it. Specifically with the line "One night and one more time/Thanks for the memories/Even though they weren't so great". This can also be taken as sarcastically rather than genuine, and I think both fit Virgil's character well. The singer understands that what has happened has happened, and there's no way to change the past "I'm looking forward to the future." However, they still feel weighed down because of it "And this crystal ball/It's always cloudy except for/When you look into the past."

Ignorance: AAHHH THIS ONE IS MY ALL TIME FAV THANK YOU VIRGIL FOR INTRODUCING ME TO PARAMORE. Ahem. Okay. So I referenced this song in like my first post to this blog, but I think it's VERY obvious what Side this song refers to. I mean, take a guess: "Where's your gavel? Your jury?/What's my offense this time?", "The same tricks that, that once fooled me/They won't get you anywhere/I'm not the same kid from your memory", "Ignorance is your new best friend". Yeah this song is aimed towards Deceit/Janus 100%. This is a very anger-powered song and its clear that the singer holds immense hatred towards the subject. Deceit I believe is the best contender for this because of the entirety of SvS ("Where's your gavel? Your jury?"), and also because "ignorance" is something very intertwined to Deceit's character and his motivations. When we first meet him, one ofthe first things he says as himself is "what you don't know can't hurt you," which is a different way of saying "ignorance is bliss." Thus, "ignorance is your best friend". There's also references to the singer's past relationship with the subject, and it can be inferred that it was positive in some aspects, but ended up being toxic and repressing to them, thus why they left; "Yeah, we used to stick together/We wrote our names in blood/But I guess you can't accept that the change is good." I could go on and on about this song, but I think I've made my point.

The Ice is Getting Thinner: hooh boy. This one makes me sad. This song is about a relationship slowly dying, but both parties holding on to the relationship without really trying to salvage it. It seems that "change" was once again the reason for this drifting apart ("We're not the same, dear, as we used to be/The seasons have changed and so have we".) It's longing, just like Sally's Song, longing for how things used to be, even if what "used to be" wasn't healthy or beneficial for both parties; "it saddens me to say/But we both know, well, it's true/That the ice was getting thinner/Under me and you." It sounds almost like they are coming to a realization and acceptance of this.

OKAY SONG ANALYSIS DONE, HOW DOES THIS RELATE TO VIRGIL??

Well I think thats obvious. He's being eat up by these swarming emotions that surround his leaving of the Dark Sides. The fact that these make up 8 out of the 20 songs (and many more can be connected back to this theme of relationship fallout!) shows that it's been on his mind for a long time. If we go off of the implications of these songs, it seems that Virgil himself realizes that his leaving the Dark Sides was seen as some sort of betrayal, no matter the circumstances. He blames himself, he blames Janus, he's angry about their fall out but he also is relieved by it. No matter what happened, I believe that these feelings are going to come to a head one way or another. He needs to confront his past, and it seems that he wants to, but is also held back by his own anxiety over the situation (and his anxiety in general.) There's so much tension between him and Deceit/Janus specifically that is just bubbling beneath the surface that probably is going to erupt some time in the future and will drive a rift even further between the Light and Dark sides. In what way? I don't know....

hope you enjoyed :) virgil's playlist is my favorite out of all of the sides' and thats partially because I was an emo when it released HAHAH. I'm thinking of doing deceit's next, cause hes my fav character, and i just think its fitting lol. i also might redo roman's psychoanalysis bc i literally did that last night at midnight and I wanna add more evidence and direct quotes. im a nerd...i like writing essays XD

@thatsthat24 what do u think man did i do a good job 👀

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #virgil sanders #deceit sanders #tss #ts sides #roman sanders #logan sanders #janus sanders #sanders sides playlist #sanders sides theory #tss virgil #thatsthats24 #Dee's Theories #me realizing after writing this that Virgil specifically asks “dont judge me please”#in his playlist desc #oops #sorry man

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zahri-melitor · 4 months

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And to sum up the DC Real Santa read: there is a LOT of Santa lore, and most of it gets contradicted regularly.

If you want pointers for a couple of the best DC Santa stories over the years, here’s my summary:

Golden Age Award: Action Comics #105. While I do enjoy the original Superman’s Christmas Adventure, the Action Comics story is just a better, more coherent plot, PLUS it contains ridiculous weight loss methods for Santa.

Silver Age Award: endless Rudolph reprints. For some reason DC really didn’t do much with Christmas during the Silver Age. I’m going to nominate Batman #239 as the Santa story that still sneaks into the Silver Age.

Bronze Age Award: this had a bunch of serious competitors, but probably the best go-to Santa story in this period is The House of Mystery in DC Special Series #21. However I also fully enjoyed The Sandman: The Seal Men’s War on Santa Claus from The Best of DC #22, for the Seal Men’s righteous frustration at Santa giving them inappropriate presents.

1980s award: Twas the Fright Before Christmas! in Christmas with the Super-Heroes #1 is probably the pick of the classic Santa appearances, but if you want to sit down with a single 1980s issue to read, get Christmas with the Super-Heroes #2 instead and just enjoy some really contemplative stories. DC hit it out of the park with this issue, there isn’t a dud in it.

1990s award: It’s the Holiday Bash era! All three issues are great, but Holiday Bash III is my pick of the bunch, and it contains the overall best Santa story, which is No Bart, There is No Santa Claus. Honourable mention to Present Tense in Holiday Bash II though, for the Darkseid’s Christmas coal delivery we all love.

2000s award: After a lot of thought, I actually have to give this to The Spectre #11-12. It’s contemplative, it does interesting things with DC lore and Santa lore, and it’s a really well told story. My runner up is probably Young Justice #40. My Christmas anthology pick is DC Universe Holiday Special #1 (2008) and it’s for the balance of characters I like, optimistic and loving stories, and gorgeous art.

New 52 award: just go read Li’l Gotham #2 and #12 for their Christmas issues. I promise nothing else is worth it.

Rebirth award: The Night We Saved Christmas in DC Rebirth Holiday Special #1. It’s Detective Chimp, it has a really fun Santa characterisation, and it’s just a rollicking yarn. However for anthology issue, I actually have to give the edge to DC's Nuclear Winter Special #1 (2017), though 2016's is also very good. Nuclear Winter just has a more coherent theme.

Infinite Frontier award: I think I’m going to give this to The Santa Copies in DC's 'Twas the Mite Before Christmas #1 (2023). There honestly wasn’t the best selection through here, but Rip and Booster having a family Christmas adventure together is always going to make me feel soft. In terms of collection - look they’re all ‘fine I guess’ really? If you’re going to read a single anthology, i guess my pick is DC's Grifter Got Run Over by a Reindeer #1 (2022) for the best mix of stories.

Thanks everyone for following along my mega posting. Next year I might actually read all the Rudolph stories (this is a lie).

#DC Santa read along

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drabbles-mc · 9 months

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How It Goes

Rick Flag x Harley Quinn

Summary: After everything that the two of them had been through together, Rick starts to realize that maybe he's in over his head a little more than he originally thought.

Warnings: 18+, language, mentions of blood/injury, arguing/light angst, canon-typical violence

Word Count: 4.3k

A/N: The way that this fic started because I found a dialogue prompt that I really liked for these two and then I didn't even end up using the prompt in the fic. 😂😂 Oh well! We out here regardless lmao

Suicide Squad Taglist: @garbinge @artemiseamoon (If you want to be added to any of my taglists, please let me know!)

The last thing that he wanted to do was try and carry her back to the heli-carrier that was going to get them all home. But looking at her, he knew that there wasn’t going to be much of another choice—there was no way that she was going to be able to walk. Her one thigh was torn right through by two bullets, luckily ones that didn’t hit any vital arteries. And sure, he could’ve tried to make her limp along, but he never would’ve heard the end of it from her and everyone else.

Although as he walked down the street with Harley draped over his arms and her arms looped around his neck, he realized that he wasn’t going to be hearing the end of this either.

“Why don’t we do this all the time?” she asked, laughter in her voice despite the makeshift tourniquets wrapped around her thigh that were keeping her from bleeding out.

“Because you don’t get shot like that all the time,” Rick muttered as he carefully stepped over some of the debris that was littering the street. As soon as he said it, he saw the expression on Harley’s face shift and he corrected himself. “Don’t get any ideas.”

“Too late!” She paused, going back and forth between looking around as they retreated, and looking at Rick’s face. It was a mixture of focus and annoyance. More of one of those than the other. “Who knew you were so chivalrous, Flag?”

He didn’t dignify the question with a response. Lucky enough for him, before Harley could keep going, he was walking up the ramp onto the helicopter. The thought crossed his mind for a moment, because he could feel the way she was practically beaming up at him as he carried her, to just drop her into her seat rather than setting her down. He fought the urge, though.

“C’mon,” he grumbled, lowering himself just enough so that when he took his arms out from underneath her, it was a short drop.

“You gonna buckle me in, too?” she asked, dazed in a way that Rick was choosing to blame on the blood loss.

He took his seat next to her, blatantly avoiding eye contact as he strapped himself in. “I think you got that part under control just fine.”

He was staring dead ahead at the empty seat across from him as Harley buckled herself in. He pretended not to hear the fit of giggles that she was descending into, mumbling things more to herself than to him. But even with his attempt to make his thoughts louder than her voice, he still caught a few words here and there. For some reason, the post-mission banter among the rest of the crew just didn’t seem quite as loud as it usually did. He knew that he heard her say his name once or twice, and he chalked it up to her usual rambles, trails of thought that really didn’t lead anywhere in particular.

They were only a few minutes into the ride when he felt the weight of her head pressing against his shoulder. He tensed at the contact. Once he realized what it was, he panicked for a moment, wondering if she was just resting against him to bother him, or because she actually fell asleep, or if she passed out from the blood loss.

He turned his head just slightly, just enough to look at her. He couldn’t see her face well, but he could tell that she was still breathing. He leaned slightly, trying to get a better look at her expression. He saw enough to see that there was a tiny upwards curve to her lips. That was all he needed to see to be sure that she wasn’t dying against him like that.

“All those muscles,” DuBois spoke up from the other side of the heli-carrier, “and you’re still just her fuckin’ pillow after all this.”

Rick shook his head. He wanted to have a quip in return, but he knew that anything he said was just going to dig himself deeper into the hole that he was already in. Most everyone else on their crew would get distracted and move onto the next thing within a few minutes, and if not that quickly, they’d forget about it once they got back to Belle Reve. Not Robert, though, and Rick knew it. And it was annoying.

Instead, Rick shut his eyes too, leaning back against the wall behind him. He made sure to sit straight enough that his head wouldn’t drop and rest against Harley’s.

He woke her when they got back to the prison. She groaned, swatting him away like that would change the circumstances at all. Rick rolled his eyes. “C’mon, Harley. Time to go.”

“You at least gonna carry me again?” she asked, prying her eyes open.

“No,” Rick answered without hesitation as he undid the straps keeping him in place. “They got a stretcher for you.”

“You’re gonna come visit me though, right? When I’m all laid up?” Her usual grin was back on her face.

Before he could answer, give her the sarcastic remark that was resting on the tip of his tongue, the door opened and the medical team came to get her.

As she was carried off, she called back, “If I get a cast, Flag, you gotta make sure you sign it!”

Rick was shaking his head, grabbing his bags from the floor. He didn’t even realize that DuBois hadn’t gotten off the carrier until the man was talking right behind him. “Put a heart around your fucking name while you’re at it, yea?”

Rick shook his head as he shouldered his bag. “Congrats on ten more years off your sentence.” He walked towards the exit door, not bothering to turn back around as he asked, “How many does that leave you with again?”

He could hear DuBois’ laughter, and that was good enough. He walked in the opposite direction of the prison, knowing that he was going to have to go to HQ to talk to Waller now that all of this was over with. Wrapping up one thing and no doubt she was already going to have something else lined up. He wondered what the lag time between missions was going to be this time around.

When Harley came-to in the medical bay, she had no idea how long she’d been out. For all she knew, it could’ve been hours, or it could’ve been weeks. What she did know, though, was that her head hurt and every muscle in her body felt sore, stiff. Groaning, she started to pry her eyes open. She tried to bring her hands to her face, wipe the sleep from the corners of her eyes, but she only was able to lift them a few inches before they were stopped. The clinking of metal on metal sounded through the room, and she felt the cold pull of handcuffs against her wrists.

“God, even when I’m asleep?” she whined. “Come on, guys, that’s just not fair!”

She heard someone huff out a chuckle from beside her bed. “Don’t think they were convinced you weren’t faking.”

Her eyes popped open at the sound of his voice. Turning her head, she looked over at him. “Flag?”

He kept his eyes trained on the folder in front of him, but the smile that was slowly starting to creep onto his face spoke volumes. “Welcome back, Harley.”

“Did I die?”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “No. They just knocked you out.”

“If they knocked me out, then why,” she shook her wrists, causing the cuffs to jingle against the bed railings, “why did they—”

Rick silenced her with a look. All he had to do was flick his eyes over to her, eyebrows raised slightly, and she knew.

She laughed, head dropping back against the pillow. “I guess.”

He let his gaze drift back to the file in his lap. “How you feelin’?”

“Like I wanna touch my face, and I can’t.” She thrashed slightly against the mattress, the best she could do for a tantrum given the circumstances. “They can’t just give me one hand?”

“I’ve seen the damage you can do with one hand,” he argued.

“What are you even doing here if you’re not helpin’ me get out?”

Closing the folder that he’d been looking at, he finally leaned back and took a good, long look at the woman lying on the bed next to him. “Came to talk to the new team. Thought I’d stop in and see if you were conscious yet on my way out.”

She smiled, her previous annoyance with him instantly fading. “How long you been waitin’ there for me?”

“Long enough,” he responded sarcastically.

“Aw, you waited for me!”

He rolled his eyes. “Somethin’ like that, I guess, yea.”

She shimmied up as best she could, trying to get herself a little more upright even though the bandages wrapping around her leg felt like they were constricting her movement. “So, new team, huh?” She leaned her head back but still turned to look at him. “Where we goin’?”

“We?”

“Yea!” she chirped. “Next mission! Where is it?”

“Harley,” he shook his head, and for a moment it almost looked like pity crossed his face, “you can’t go.”

Her brows furrowed. “Why not?”

He nodded towards her leg. “Expectin’ me to carry you everywhere?”

“I mean,” she looked down at her bandaged leg and then back at him, “it would be nice.”

He laughed. “Ain’t gonna happen, though.”

“So you’re goin’ without me?” she sounded genuinely hurt at the mere idea of it.

Rick couldn’t believe that he found himself feeling bad about it. Things were so different now than they were the first time he met her.

“C’mon, Harley,” he said, his drawl shining through a little more, “you know how it goes—I don’t pick the team.”

“But if you did, you’d wait for me to get better before you go, right?”

He studied her face for a moment. Under different circumstances he would assume that she was just trying to yank his chain again. More slick commentary just to get a rise out of him. But as she was laying there gazing over at him, handcuffed to a hospital bed that they weren’t going to let her out of anytime soon, he couldn’t help but to think that she was being genuine. She was actually upset that she wasn’t going to be going back out into the field with him for whatever the next mission was.

“You know it.”

Her smile was small, but genuine. “Good. You know, you could tell Waller that she can’t send you out there without me. Who’s gonna keep you company, really, you know?”

Rick chuckled. “Trust me, I know.”

“You’re a real softie underneath all those muscles, aren’t you?”

“Harley…” his tone had a hint of warning to it, not that she’d ever heeded it before.

“I mean, look at us!” She motioned between them with her hand as well as she could with the cuffs binding her wrists. “You came here to hang out with me!”

“I didn’t come here—”

“And you never would’ve done that a few years ago when you met me.”

He sucked in a deep breath, knowing that he wasn’t going to win the argument against her. “No,” he conceded, “I wouldn’t have.”

She laughed at his agreement. A real laugh, not the fabricated ones she used to let out way back when he first met her. Not the same delirious giggles that she’d made on the way back from their mission when she was light-headed from blood loss. It was a genuine laugh, like she was really enjoying the little moment between them despite all of the circumstances surrounding them trying to make it impossible to find a good moment in the midst of any of it. If bullet holes and hand cuffs couldn’t strip her of her joy, Rick was pretty sure nothing could.

Even with the cuts and bruises, even with her hair in a mess because no one in the prison hospital was going to take the time to really do it right, do it the way that she wanted it done, she still looked good. Even without her makeup, her lipstick, even with all the chips in her nail polish, it still crossed Rick’s mind that he wouldn’t mind sitting there in that uncomfortable prison hospital chair for a little while longer.

That train of thought caught him off-guard. His eyes widened for a split second as he realized what he was thinking before he shook his head at himself and tried to focus on just about anything else.

“I’ll be good to go for the next one, at least,” she said, giving a definitive nod of her head.

“Sure thing.” He stood up out of his seat before gesturing to her bandaged leg. “They didn’t even give you a cast. You’ll be fine.”

“Means you can’t sign it, though.”

“I think you’ll manage.” He rapped his knuckles against the railing running along the side of her bed. “I’ll see you soon, Harley.”

“You better.” She flashed him a smile, feeling a fleeting sense of victory when he mirrored one back to you. He got a couple strides away before she piped up again. “Flag?”

He stopped, turning to face her. “Yea?”

“Be safe out there. You know, since you don’t got me watching your back.”

“No promises but I’ll try.”

The mission didn’t go smoothly, to say the least. They never did. That was the whole reason his team got assigned to things in the first place. If missions were easy, if they would be straight-forward victories, it wouldn’t be a Task Force X problem. It wasn’t as though when Harley was running missions with him they miraculously went well, but this was the first one he’d run without her and it seemed more hellish than usual.

He’d missed that somewhere along the way that the two of them had gotten good at working together. It was a far cry from where they were when they started out. As the weeks turned into months, he vaguely remembered being less and less bothered by her, by the work they were doing together. It was a slow shift for sure, because it wasn’t as though their jobs were pleasant ones. But things crept along so slowly and quietly that he had gotten taken for a ride he didn’t even realize was happening.

The last thing he wanted to do was tell her any of that, though. The entire chopper-ride back to Belle Reve all he could do was sit and stew in those thoughts. Now that the adrenaline had worn off, the mission was complete, and most of the team was coming back alive and in one piece, all he had time to do was sit there and think.

When it came time to make the decision to either go inside Belle Reve or take off towards his car so that he could get back and wrap things up with Waller to go home, he didn’t know which direction to go in. He was exhausted, and clearly not thinking straight, so maybe whatever would get him home faster would be best. But he also found himself wanting to go and check on Harley, no matter how stupid it seemed when it spelled it all out.

The decision was made for him when his phone started to ring, Waller’s name flashing across it. He turned and started to walk towards his car as he answered, saying an unenthusiastic, “Yeah?” into the phone as he walked.

When he saw Harley next, it was weeks later, and she was all patched up like nothing had ever even happened. She strolled onto the chopper with her bag slung over her shoulder, all decked out in red and black like a few weeks before she hadn’t been shackled to a hospital bed.

“Got to pick this team then, Flag?” she asked with a laugh as she dropped her bag to the floor between the two rows of seats lining each side of the heli-carrier.

And just like that, it all came rushing back. In the weeks away, he told himself that he was just too tired and overemotional, that he was letting his very normal concern for a teammate who got shot turn into something that it wasn’t. Chalked it up to some sort of reverse Stockholm Syndrome. He told himself that some time away, a somewhat decent sleep schedule, and not being shot at for a bit, would get his mind right and he would be able to keep his head on straight. And it was working when he didn’t have to look her in the eyes and hold a conversation with her. Now he had to again, and all of the lies that he had been feeding himself came to a screeching halt.

He cleared his throat, shaking his head and hoping that his expression was as neutral or as unamused as it usually was. “You know that’s not how it works.”

She rolled her eyes but she was still smiling. “You gotta get better at lying. At least to make me feel better.”

He chuckled, shaking his head before gesturing to the empty seat. “Park it, Harley.”

She gave a fake salute. “Whatever you say, Colonel.”

They were dropped down into the thick of it, just like always. The only ones who had even a sliver of their shit together were Rick, Harley, and DuBois, as per usual. Not that they ever really gave each other that kind of credit out loud.

Harley huffed, resting her head back against the wall that she and Rick were both pinning themselves back against, just out of reach of the bullets flying in their direction. “Oh, fuck this,” she snapped. Reaching across Rick’s torso, she grabbed the gun from his hand, one that was much larger than the handgun that she always carried with her.

Rick’s eyes nearly popped out of his skull when he realized what she was doing. “Harley!” he yelled, like that was going to do anything to stop her.

Harley was already around the corner and shooting before Rick even finished calling out her name. He might not have been successful in stopping her, but Harley was certainly successful in getting both Rick and DuBois to come out from their somewhat safe waiting spots and start doing some damage to get them to move forward. It was reckless, but then again that was their whole purpose, wasn’t it?

When they made it to the makeshift checkpoint, Rick immediately pulled Harley off to the side. He kept his voice low, but anger was dripping off every word. “You’ve gotta stop doing that shit!”

“What?” she sounded genuinely confused, her eyes flitting back and forth between his face and his hand that was resting on her shoulder.

“What?” he repeated back, eyes wide. “Going out there with no cover! You could’a—”

“We always could’a, Flag,” she cut him off. “That’s kind of our whole thing here.”

“You just got outta the—”

“Can you two find time to do this later?” DuBois interrupted, annoyance heavy in his tone. “We have a fucking mission, in case you forgot.”

Both Harley and Rick had looks on their faces like they had plenty to say in response to his comment, but there wasn’t time to get into it all. Instead, they took it on the chin and got back to business. There would be time for arguing later.

No one had to be carried back to the chopper this time. A few of the team were limping, worse for wear, but nothing that some bandages, painkillers, and down-time wouldn’t fix. Rick and Harley were walking side-by-side at the front of the pack. They matched each other’s strides, but neither of them were looking at each other. Outside of orders and confirmations, there had been no discussion between the two of them, no side-commentary like they usually had.

They didn’t look at each other the whole flight back to Belle Reve.

“Alright, Quinn,” one of the guards said when they got back, “looks like you’re checkin’ out of Hotel Belle Reve.” He laughed. “For now, at least.”

“Screw you,” she snapped, taking the small bag containing the few things that she had on her when she was arrested and brought in the latest time.

Rick’s angry expression shifted to surprise. “That was it?”

“That was it?” she sounded shocked, almost offended. “How many missions have we done? At ten years a piece?”

He frowned, not having thought about it that way with her. Mostly because she never brought up that part of it whenever they were working, unlike everyone else who was vocal about the fact that they were only doing what they were doing with Task Force X because of what they were getting out of it.

“Right.”

She started walking towards the gate, still in her mission getup. “I’m getting the fuck outta here! See ya!”

It took him a moment, but Rick eventually got his legs working alongside the rest of him and he took off after her. It only took a few long strides to close the gap, but even once he was beside her again, it wasn’t as though Harley was turning to look at him or talk to him. He didn’t take his eyes off her, waiting for her anger to falter for even just a brief moment so she would glance over at him. With the speed that she was walking away, they were going to run out of parking lot soon.

“Just gonna follow me? Wait for me to slip up again?” Harley asked, still not looking at him.

“No. Can you—will you just stop?” he snapped, exasperated.

She huffed, loud and dramatic, but she didn’t keep walking. Folding her arms over her chest, she turned so that she was looking at him head-on. She waited a moment for him to speak up and say something, and when he didn’t, she raised her eyebrows and shook her head slightly. “Well? What?”

He furrowed his brows, the words that came out of his mouth not the ones that he had been planning on saying when he first started going after her. “What’re you gonna do now?”

She rolled her eyes, propping her hand on her hip. “That what you came here to ask me?” She paused. “And since when do you care so much, anyway?”

He shook his head, knowing that he couldn’t really blame her for her annoyance at the moment. “Just never thought about it.”

She sighed. “What do you want, Flag?”

“About earlier—”

“I know, I know,” she cut him off, throwing her hands up in defeat. “It was stupid, reckless—”

“Will you just let me fuckin’ talk?” he snapped.

She recoiled, knowing it was a little deserved. “Fine.”

He took a breath, straightening himself out and getting himself together. “It was stupid, and it was reckless,” he said, making the same small gestures with his hands that he did when he was getting serious while they were out on a mission. “The whole reason we get sent out there as a fuckin’ team is so no one has to do cowboy shit like that.”

She shrugged. “It worked, though.”

He shook his head, looking up at the sky for a moment before looking back at her again. “Yea. But what if it didn’t? What if you got shot again?”

“Since when are you so concerned about everyone’s safety?” She scoffed. “They call us the fucking Suicide Squad!”

“Yea, but that doesn’t mean you gotta live up to the name. You almost died last time!”

“I was fine! They didn’t even give me a cast!”

Rick knew it must’ve looked ridiculous, the two of them descending into a screaming match at the edge of the prison parking lot. But he was too deep in it now to let it go. “That doesn’t mean I wanted it to happen again!” Sucking in a deep breath, he let his head hang so that he was staring down at the blacktop. “Dammit, Harley, why do you have such a problem with that?”

When he finally peeled his gaze up from the pavement and looked at Harley, the anger had faded from her face. She had a smug grin on instead. “You were actually worried, huh?”

“Don’t.”

“You were!” She laughed and gave him a light shove. “Colonel Flag. Big ol’ mush.”

He was shaking his head, like that would undo the heat flaring up in his face. “Alright. Enough.”

“You could’a just said that.”

He raised his eyebrows. “I was tryin’ to get there but you started yellin’ at me before I could.”

She pointed at him. “You yelled at me first.”

“You took my gun,” he retorted.

She laughed. “I did. I did do that.”

They stood there silently for a moment before Rick finally asked, “Now what?”

Harley tilted her head slightly. She made a big show of thinking, like she was weighing out a dozen different options. Rick was watching her expectantly, unable to even pretend he knew what she was going to say to him next. More often than not, he didn’t know what to expect with her. But he really didn’t expect her to step in and kiss him. She did, though. She had one hand resting against the side of his face and Rick froze up for a moment at her touch before he finally kissed her back.

When she pulled away, she was still smiling. She watched him try and sputter out a few sentences before finally putting him out of his misery and saying something first. “Figured it took you that long to just say you were worriedabout me. Who knows how old I would’a been before you got around to kissin’ me.”

The laugh he let out was choked with surprise. “Wow. I—alright.”

“Whaddya say, Flag?” She batted her eyelashes, like she didn’t already have him hook, line, and sinker. “We leavin’? Or you gonna make me walk?”

He laughed as he nodded, already reaching for his keys. “We’re leavin’.”

#suicide squad #the suicide squad #the suicide squad fanfic #suicide squad fanfic #rick flag #harley quinn #rick flag fanfiction #rick flag x harley quinn #harley quinn fanfiction #harley quinn x rick flag #quinnflag #my writing #fanfiction #drabblesmc

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whumpflash · 1 year

Text

Penumbra: Uncertain

for Angstpril, Day 24: Trauma (alt)

cw: whump aftermath, wound cleaning, mentioned weight loss, non-sexual nudity, discussed death wish/suicide attempts

prev ///// masterlist ///// next

note: please mind the warnings. If you'd like to read a version of this chapter without a specific element, feel free to PM me and I'll send you an edited version. Stay safe, everyone!

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It was a mile's trek back to their great-uncle's house, made all the longer with the pelt of the rain on their back and the weight of the injured man in their arms. Cerus had begun the journey upright, stumbling along with a thin arm wrapped around Tansy's shoulders, but it had soon become apparent that he was in no condition to walk. They'd lifted his shaking form, trying not to think about how light he was, how his flesh radiated heat even through the wet clothing. How the shipwrights had him working out in the cold anyway.

Neither of them spoke a word throughout, and when Tansy spared a glance down to check on Cerus, his eyes were closed. For his own sake, they hoped he was unconscious.

Aldon was still not home when they opened the door, but that was perhaps for the better. They weren't certain he'd be all too happy at the idea of sheltering the former tyrant. For now, Cerus would have to be their secret.

Tansy carried him upstairs, to the sparse room their uncle had set aside for them, and lay Cerus on the bed. Their shoulders burned from the effort of getting him here, but now was not the time to rest. They discarded their waterlogged cloak, and began to cut away Cerus's soaked rags. The man seemed to be awake now; half-lidded eyes above hollow cheeks, staring dully at the ceiling. He made no move to struggle, or even speak.

He was considerably thinner than he'd been at his trial, the sharp outline of ribs and hip bones jutting against pale skin. Scars and bruises, old and new, covered his body, and when they rolled him onto his side to check his back, they were met with a horrific number of whip marks, some still oozing blood, darkening the bedsheets.

Though his eyes were open, Cerus responded to Tansy's examination as if he were unconscious, offering neither remark nor resistance, and Tansy was left wondering if it was the fever that had left him numbed to the world around, or if it was simply how the man protected himself from the constant maltreatment.

"I'm going to clean your wounds," they said, watching for a response. To their surprise, Cerus's eyes sharpened.

"And wh—" He let out a cough that shook his body. "Why would you do s-something like that?"

Why indeed? Wanting to help the suffering was human nature, but when the sufferer himself was the cause of so much misery, what was one to do? They did not reply, rolling Cerus onto his stomach.

"Wait here," they said, though they doubted he was capable of doing otherwise, and walked down the stairs, toward the kitchen.

Why indeed. The strangeness of the situation was starting to take hold of them. How could they do something like this? Saving the very person they'd sworn to depose, bringing him into their home, tending to him. Would anyone else in the village, in all of Feyadel, do the same, or was Tansy mad for making such a choice? What would their comrades in the battalion think of their decision, were they here to see it?

More than why they'd done it, another question was heavy in their thoughts; what were they going to do, now that they'd chosen to help? Cerus was under sentence. He lawfully belonged to the shipyard, regardless of the abuse he'd suffer there. Even if they could grant him a reprieve from the rain, he couldn't very well stay here; eventually someone would come looking for him. Still, they couldn't in good conscience just hand him back over to the docks, not when he was clearly ill, not when he could barely stand.

For now, they'd try and curb their worries, and think only of tonight. Whatever tomorrow brought, they'd handle it in the morning.

They gathered linen cloth and water from the kitchen, tucking a small bottle of brandy under their arm as well. Tansy was a soldier, not a medic, but they'd still treated their fair share of wounds. The parcel of clams watched them forlornly from the wooden counter, and Tansy cast a glance back at it as they climbed the stairs. First they'd tend to Cerus, then get a start on dinner before their uncle returned. And hopefully, he wouldn't notice if they cooked for three.

Cerus flinched when they opened the door, as if startled from sleep, and Tansy knelt by the bed, depositing their supplies beside them.

"This will sting," they warned, as they wetted a cloth with brandy, then wondered why they bothered. Couldn't they at least find catharsis in the necessary pain that came with cleaning his wounds?

Cerus inhaled through clenched teeth as Tansy touched the cloth to his back, his next breath turning into a whimper when they began to gently scrub the torn, feverish skin. As much as they wished they could, Tansy found no solace in his pain. They finished cleaning and binding the cuts without another word, then covered Cerus with a blanket, trying to ignore the way he stared at them.

"You're not a priest," he said bluntly. "Nor a healer."

Tansy lifted their chin. "I'm a soldier," they replied. "I fought to end your reign."

He showed no reaction. "And you did. So why?"

Tansy turned away. They didn't need to have this conversation with him, of all people.

"Y-you should've left me."

That halted them in place. "To die?"

Cerus let out a bitter laugh that rapidly degraded into a coughing fit. "Do you think I don't desire an end? Do you think I fear death enough to cling to a life such as this one?"

Tansy frowned. "If that were so… would you not have found your own end?"

"If I throw myself into the sea, they haul me out. If I cut a vein, they hold me down and send for a healer. I am not allowed to escape. All I can do is wait for my body to fail."

"You'd rather I'd left you to be beaten, then."

"I have received more beatings than a man can count. What's one that goes unfinished?" His words dissolved into another vicious cough. "You were a soldier. Certainly, you saw friends felled by my troops. Family."

"You'd have difficulty finding a soldier who hasn't," Tansy answered, their tone flat. Why would he bring up such a thing now? Did he wish to turn them against him, to drive them to throw him back out into the rain?

"Then you have as much reason to hate me as everyone else," Cerus said. "Why bring me here? Why not leave me to die, or even end me by your own hand?" He tried to push himself up with shaking arms, but fell back onto the bed with a cry. "Y–ghnn—you've lost family by my hand. This very village burned by my hand. Why let me draw another breath? Why not strike me down?"

Tansy shook their head. It seemed that Cerus was trying to goad them into anger, but why? Whatever the reason, they would not allow themselves to be persuaded by him.

"I've seen enough bloodshed for one lifetime," they answered.

"And I am at fault for that," Cerus protested.

They closed their eyes against his words, reaching for the door. "Rest."

"I felt no remorse, no regret," Cerus called after them, voice rising, shaking. "Will you not take vengeance?"

Tansy closed their fingers around the door's handle, clenching it tightly. They almost wished they could, and certainly wished they didn't feel this odd, misplaced pity. But it wouldn't be vengeance anymore, it would be simple cruelty. An honorable execution was seven months too late, and they could never bring themselves to raise a hand against someone as weak and sick and hurt as Cerus was right now, especially not at his behest.

When they glanced backwards, the former tyrant was wearing an expression they couldn't quite place. Was it anger? Fear? Simple disbelief that Tansy would dare tend to him?

"Will you not take vengeance?" he repeated, his voice now barely above a whisper, and Tansy shook their head.

"What vengeance is left to take?" they murmured, and finally opened the door, stepped through, and pulled it closed behind them.

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@whumpwillow @rabbitdrabbles @kixngiggles @honeycollectswhump

#angstpril 2023 #fic #day 24 #trauma #alt prompt #penumbra: shadow king #whump #fantasy whump #whipping tw #painful wound cleaning #royal whumpee #villain whump #villain whumpee #reluctant caretaker #tw deathwish #tw: suicide attempt #tw abuse #tw weight loss #tw sui ideation

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