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serpentandlily · 7 months

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Untouchable IV - Azriel x Reader

Untouchable - Azriel x Rhysand'sSister! Reader ✨

Summary: For as long as you can remember, you have always had feelings for Azriel, your court's spymaster. But after centuries of watching him pine after your own cousin, hoping he'd eventually move on, your wish came true. He moved on-with Elain, your brother's mate's middle sister. Unable to watch him fall in love with someone else again, you flee from Velaris, from him. But things are a lot more complicated than that - more complicated than you ever imagined.

Warnings: angst

a/n: ahhh guys I literally love all of you so much. Thanks for all the love and support on this story!! Hope you enjoy this one just as much!

➻❥ Part I ➻❥ Part II ➻❥ Part III ➻❥ Part IV ➻❥ Part V

➻❥ Part VI ➻❥ Part VII ➻❥ Part VIII ➻❥ Part IX ➻❥ Part X

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

Part IV

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

You stared at yourself in the mirror, quite happy with that way you looked. You were getting ready to make a trip to Hewn City with the rest of the Inner Circle, so you could be announced as their new Overseer. Already donning your mask, a mask you wore just as well as your brother could. You were, after all, raised by the same cruel, unflinching male. After your father died, Rhys had made sure to continue teaching you how to handle the unsavory parts of the Night Court as best he could.

So you had put on a dress that demanded attention. It was Night Court black, of course, with a halter top bodice that connected to a high neck collar. Starting from just below your breasts, the dress was cut into two panels to cover your front and back, laced together with a black ribbon on the sides. It clung to your curves and showed off more skin than you usually did.

The entire side of your legs, your hip bone and waist, all exposed and accentuated by the dress. Some kohl liner brought your star-flecked, violet eyes to life. Your hair was curled and spilled down your back freely. You felt beautiful. Devastatingly beautiful. The Princess of Night.

You finished the look with the diadem your brother had given you. It was made of Illyrian metal with dark red jewels decorating the intricately twisted vines. It was perfect for the Court of Nightmares.

As you made your way down the stairs, you could already feel the disapproving stare of your brother. Only him and Cassian were waiting in the foyer. Cass was in his Illyrian leathers and your brother was wearing a finely tailored black coat and pants with his own crown on his head.

“Nice try, dove,” Rhys chided. “Go back upstairs and change into the dress I had Nuala lay out for you this morning.”

You crossed your arms over your chest. “No. I bought this one specifically for today and I’m going to wear it.”

“No, you’re not.” Cass snorted as Rhys tried to assert his dominance. “Go change. Now.”

“No. I’m wearing this. You can’t make me change my mind.”

“Oh, I can make you,” your brother sneered. He could, you supposed, use his High Lord voice to order you to change. And then you literally wouldn’t be able to refuse.

Before he could though, you shouted for his mate. “Feyre!”

Your High Lady and sister-in-law walked into the room with a baby Nyx on her hip. She was wearing a beautiful, glimmering black dress that fell in a deep v to her navel. Slits on both sides of the skirt exposing her legs and a twin crown to the one Rhys was wearing sat on her head. Nyx was also dressed in black with a tiny version of their crown on his own head. The sight of them both was too adorable.

“What’s going on out here?” Feyre asked, sliding up to Rhys’s side. He strung an arm around her, pulling her and his son close.

You gave your brother a cheeky grin. “Your mate wants me to go change because he’s a big, overprotective, insufferable bat.”

Your brother glared at you as Feyre smacked his arm. “Leave your sister alone, Rhys. She can wear whatever she wants.”

The two of you shared a smile as Rhys let out a sigh of annoyance. “You know, I thought having a mate meant always having someone on your side. I would’ve never brought you here if I knew you’d end up conspiring with my sister against me all the time.”

“You're lucky you ended up with such a smart, beautiful mate that can check you before you embarrass yourself, Rhysie,” you laughed as Feyre stuck her tongue out at him. Rhys scoffed at both of you as you giggled with each other at his reaction.

“What are you guys giggling about out here?” Mor and Nesta walked into the room, both dressed as finely as everyone else.

Feyre started to answer Mor but your attention drifted as Azriel appeared in the shadow of the hallway, striding towards the group. He was wearing his Illyrian leathers like Cass, all seven of his cobalt siphons on display. Azriel always looked intimidating, but even more so today as his leathers clung to his muscles and highlighted the lethality of his stone-cut face.

His eyes immediately locked onto yours and widened as he took you in. His gaze dipped down and roamed your entire body and when he looked back up, his eyes were filled with hunger and heat, before he blinked and his cold mask was back on. You gave him no reaction, merely glancing away from him as if his presence had no effect on you. But the butterflies in your stomach begged otherwise.

Elain came walking down the stairs at the same time, dressed in black yet way more modestly than the rest of you. You couldn’t help but notice how out of place she looked.

“You’re coming?” Nesta asked, peering at Elain in surprise. “I thought Hewn City was far too much for you delicate sensibilities.”

Mor snorted as Elain scowled at her sister. “I’m only coming to show my support for y/n.”

She smiled at you and you gave her a grateful nod. Even if you were jealous of her for winning over the shadowsinger, you’d never blame her for him being an asshole. You also didn’t want Azriel to know you were bothered about it. You might not be as prideful as your brother was, but you’d rather suffer in complete silence than let anyone think they’ve made you feel insecure. Perhaps it was a family trait.

“I’ve had your stuff, and Azriel’s, sent over to the Moonstone Palace already,” Rhys said as everyone congregated. “So you can spend the rest of the week getting situated with your new role as planned.”

Your eyebrows shot up in surprise. “But I already asked Cass to be my escort and he agreed–”

“Cassian forgot he has other duties that I already assigned to him this week.”

Cassian gave you a sheepish look and you let out a huff. “What about Balthazar?”

Balthazar was the Illyrian warrior who had helped Nesta and Emerie during the Blood Rite. He now worked closely with training the Illyrian females and helping them merge with the Valkyries. He was a good male and an excellent warrior—but more importantly, he wasn’t Azriel.

You could feel Azriel’s stare as you kept your focus on your brother. He waved a dismissive hand. “Azriel’s already agreed and I’d rather him guard over my sister than some untested Illyrian.”

Your hands clenched, annoyed but you nodded, not wanting your brother to get suspicious. With that, your brother winnowed the group to the gates leading into the Court of Nightmares. You took your place behind Feyre and Rhysand and Azriel slid into the space next to you as your designated guard, apparently. You managed to keep your stare straight forward as you began to walk towards the throne room.

Azriel took a step closer to you, his shadows cascading around your ankles. “Do you hate my presence so much now that you’d rather some random brute take my place as your guardian?” he muttered under his breath.

You rolled your eyes. “You’re the one who told me to stay away from you. I’m only doing as you asked. And Balthazar is not some random brute. He is a friend.”

“Since when?” he hissed.

“Not that it's any of your business, but I had been helping with the training of the Illyrian females before I left for the continent. Balthazar is another one of the trainers.”

Azriel said nothing else as your group finally entered the throne room. You could feel the stares of all the fae in the room, likely wondering why the High Lord had called for a party. You followed Rhys and Feyre to the dais, where Azriel held out a gloved hand to help you up the steps. You grabbed it, not wanting to embarrass him in front of a bunch of vultures who already thought of him as less than, and took your place behind Rhys’s throne.

You and Feyre were the two people in your brother’s life that he had vowed would never have to bow to anyone. And he took that quite seriously. So while everyone else was forced to lower themselves to the ground, you stood at his side.

You glanced at the crowd of people in the throne room. Your eyes widened as you noticed Eris next to Keir. You hadn’t been expecting him.

“You can rise now,” Feyre said after leaving them on the floor for a few moments.

And then it was time for the big announcement.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

The party was in full swing, music playing, faeries dancing. Despite their despise for their High Lord, the fae down here took any excuse to get up to some debauchery. You still remained at the dais next to your brother, Azriel now a step behind you, like the guardian he was supposed to be.

Cassian stood on the other side of the dais by Feyre with Nesta, both ready to protect her and baby Nyx should they have to. Mor had claimed a table where she and Elain now sat, the latter looking uncomfortable as she peered around at the party taking place.

Keir stood before Rhys and Feyre, a forced look of respect on his face. It seemed to almost pain him and you had to hide your grin.

“My Lord, if I may ask, why have you decided to pass along the role of Overseer to someone as young and unpracticed as your sister?” Keir asked, his voice full of condescension. “And to do so without any input from me. It seems like an insult to us in this court—to not have one of our own be a representation for Hewn City.”

“I think you forget yourself, Keir,” Rhys sneered. “Me and your High Lady make every decision for this court and we certainly don’t require your input nor your opinions. You will show my sister respect. She is more than capable of what her title requires of her.”

“Can you blame me, my Lord, for having my doubts? Your sister has never dealt with court politics. It might be naive to place her in such a position.”

You took a step forward, standing tall as you looked down at your uncle. “You seem to forget, uncle, that I was the one who ran the Night Court during my brother’s absence for fifty years. You also seem to forget that your daughter’s mercy is the only reason you are still standing here today. Watch your mouth or perhaps you will find that I do not share the same leniency towards you as she does.”

Keir’s face twisted into an ugly scowl, but he did the smart thing by keeping his mouth shut. Though his eyes flickered towards the shadowsinger over your shoulder and a bit of fear flashed through him. Luckily, he didn’t hold your attention for long as a redhead suddenly appeared in front of you, at the bottom of the platform’s steps.

“Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” Eris purred, holding out his hand to you. His eyes roamed down the length of your body before they met yours. Your brother’s hands tightened on his throne’s arm rests but one look from Feyre kept his mouth shut.

You placed your hand in his, blushing slightly as he leaned down to press a kiss to the back of your hand. “Would you allow me the honor of being your first dance tonight, Princess?”

Azriel growled in warning from behind you but you ignored him, instead looking towards your brother. He gave you a slight dip of the head as permission to leave your post, so you let Eris help you down the steps.

Eris escorted you to the dance floor just as a new song began. You let Eris begin to lead you through the dance, one hand in his and the other one on his shoulder, as his free arm looped around your waist.

“It is a surprise to see Rhysand finally letting his coveted little bird out of her cage,” Eris whispered into your ear as he twirled you around the dance floor, a devilish smirk on his face.

“He can be persuaded,” you whispered back with a feline smile of your own.

“Does that have anything to do with a shadowsinger who looks like he wants to kill me more than usual?”

As he spun you around, you couldn’t help but glance at Azriel. He had moved from his post closer to the dance floor, to keep you and Eris in his line of sight.

His eyes were narrowed, his shadows spiraling around him like snakes ready to strike, as he watched you dance with Eris. You wanted to roll your eyes at his behavior. He didn’t get to be a complete asshole to you and then act all protective.

“It has nothing to do with the shadowsinger,” you answered, gasping as Eris yanked you closer just in time to get out of the way of another couple drunkenly dancing. “It was all my negotiating that got me my new title. So I suppose I’ll be seeing a lot more of you now?”

“It seems so, my Lady,” Eris crooned.

His amber eyes flashed to something over your shoulder and based on the smirk that spread on his face, that something was probably a certain shadowsinger. He met your gaze again, mischief sparkling on his face.

“In fact, there is something I’ve been meaning to discuss with Mor in private, but I guess now that would be you, wouldn't it?”

You nodded, peering around and noting Rhys and Feyre distracted by a line of couriers vying for their attention. Keir was off in a dark corner conversing with a male you recognized as Lord Thanatos. You looked back at Eris and he quirked an eyebrow. “It appears most everyone has their hands occupied right now. Shall we seek somewhere private after this?”

Eris leaned down, his warm breath brushing against your ear. “I’d like that very much, Princess.”

You stopped yourself from rolling your eyes as he stood back up with a charming grin on his face. “You are as much of a flirt as your brother is,” you chided, waiting for the song to end so you could make your exit without drawing attention.

“Don’t tell me you’re referring to little Lucien? Doesn’t he have a mate he's still pining after?”

As you were spun again, you glanced back at Azriel, whose arms were crossed as he continued to glare in your direction. Good, you were glad he was upset.

“Not lately,” you answered. It was true; Lucien rarely came around if Elain was present. He seemed to have given up on trying to win her attention for the time being. Perhaps he had also noticed the growing interest between her and Azriel.

“Well I say good for him,” Eris chuckled. “A Vanserra has never had to beg a female for her heart. They merely present it to us on a platter.”

“You are so full of it, Eris.”

The music finally lulled to a stop and Eris let go of you, holding out his arm instead. “Allow me to prove it to you, Princess.”

You slipped a hand into the crevice of his elbow as you dipped out of the throne room before anyone could notice. Just as you had stepped into the corridor, a cold hand wrapped around your upper arm, halting the both of you. You already knew who it was before you turned around.

Azriel was seething as he glanced between the two of you. “You aren’t supposed to go anywhere without an escort, y/n. You know that.”

You glanced at him as if he were inconveniencing you, though you knew he had followed. “I have one,” you replied, nodding your head towards Eris, who gave the shadowsinger a cunning smirk.

“He doesn’t count,” Azriel hissed.

“Fine, then I guess it’s a good thing you’re here,” you shrugged before turning back around and leading Eris down the hallway. “Come, I know a private place we can go to.”

You chatted with Eris as you walked, completely ignoring the angry bat that followed one step behind. Azriel was really starting to confuse you further. What the hell was he so upset about when he made his choice in Elain so clear?

You took them down a dark, narrowed hall that looked like it was a dead end but a door appeared as you approached. It was just another secret meeting room. There were many in this court and you were familiar with most. You let Eris enter first and stood in the threshold blocking Azriel’s way.

“Thank you, Azriel,” you said politely. “But I have it from here.”

Azriel looked at you and then over your shoulder at Eris, his eyes full of icy rage. “Your brother has ordered me to stay with you at all times, y/n. Especially in the case of being around someone who may wish you harm.”

Eris snorted and you glanced back at him. “Hm Eris, do you plan on harming me?”

“I was hoping to do quite the opposite, Princess.” His voice was full of wicked promise.

Azriel growled lowly and the noise sent a shiver down your spine that you fought to cover up. “See, there’s no need for you here,” you chimed and then before he could even take a step forward, you slammed the door in his face and locked it. You quickly threw up a ward knowing he’d still try to spy with his shadows.

Eris chuckled as he sat down on one of the plush couches. You took a seat on the one opposite, conjuring up a tray with two empty glasses and a bottle of expensive liquor on the coffee table between you.

“So, what is it you wanted to discuss?” you asked as you poured the both of you a glass.

“Oh, there is nothing of importance for us to discuss. I just quite enjoy getting a rise out of the shadowsinger and for some reason, he seems to be particularly bothered with my proximity to you.” Eris crossed his legs and threw his arm around the back of the couch. The perfect picture of a male proud of himself. “Thank you for unintentionally helping me in my quest. I’m sure your shadowsinger thinks I’m trying to seduce you in here.”

“Are you serious?” you scoffed. “You pulled me from enjoying my own party just to make Azriel upset?”

“Oh please, we both know no one enjoys the parties down here.” He waved a dismissive hand in the air. “And it wasn’t the only reason. It's not very often that Rhys lets his little sister be in the presence of those he considered unsavory. Perhaps I am interested in your company as well.”

“Well you’ve got my full, undivided attention now,” you replied, sitting back against the couch with your glass in your hand.

Eris grabbed his glass as well, twirling it in his hand as he studied you. “So, tell me, why is it that the shadowsinger is pacing back and forth in front of the door, cursing me under his breath, as we speak?”

“He’s an overprotective, Illyrian bat. Just like my brother and Cassian,” you said in dismissal.

“Hm, I’m not quite sure that’s the only reason.”

“You seem to have an obsession with Azriel, Eris. Do you want me to put in a good word for you?” You gave him a brazen smile.

“Alright, little bird, I’ll drop it. I’m far more interested in the beautiful female sitting in front of me as it is.” You hated that your cheeks turned pink at his words. Eris was handsome with his red hair and amber eyes. Even his scent of cinnamon and vetiver was enticing. But he just wasn’t Azriel. “Will you indulge me in a game of chess as we chat?”

Glad to move on from the subject, you did just that.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

“Alright, that’s enough—”

You were nearly three rounds deep in a game of chess when the door burst open and Azriel came stalking inside. You jumped a bit at the intrusion as Eris’s focus stayed on the chessboard like he had anticipated this.

You looked up at the shadowsinger who was panting, his hair in disarray. His eyes widened as he took in the casual scene of you and Eris playing a game of chess. You raised an eyebrow at him but he only continued to glower at Eris.

“Enough of what, shadowsinger?” Eris asked nonchalantly as he moved one of his chess pieces.

“Enough of whatever the fuck you guys are doing,” Azriel huffed before looking at you with his arms crossed. “You’re needed back in the throne room. Now.”

You very much doubted that, but decided to play along. You were losing this game anyways. You set your glass down on the table and stood, straightening out your gown. “Apologies, Eris, but apparently, duty calls.”

Eris stood as well, gathering his coat that he had discarded at one point. “I should be getting back before my father grows suspicious anyways. I would very much like to do this again, Princess, if you’ll have me,” he said, grasping your hand and pressing a kiss to it like he did before.

You gave him a slight dip of the head. “You know where to find me.”

He said his goodbyes, not without throwing a smirk in Azriel’s direction, before he disappeared, leaving only some crackling embers in his wake. You went to leave the room but Azriel reached an arm over your head and shut the door right in your face. You let out a disgruntled noise and turned around to Azriel towering over you, his gaze darkened.

“I thought I was needed in the throne room,” you said, sarcastically.

He ignored you, keeping one hand on the door to keep it closed as he watched you. “So, you’re into Eris now? He’s a dangerous male, y/n.”

“I think I can decide that for myself,” you snapped. “Maybe I am interested in him. What does it matter to you?”

He took a step closer, boxing you in against the door much like he had done that night. “I already told you it matters to me.”

“You also told me to stay away from you. So why did you agree to be my guard for the next week? Why the fuck are you here?”

“Because someone has to watch over you! Especially when you decide to go strutting around in a dress like this,” he growled. “Tell me something, Princess, just who exactly did you have in mind when you put this on?”

His gloved hand trailed up the side of your thigh, to where the dress was held together with ribbon. You hated how much your skin tingled at his touch, hated the butterflies that arose in your stomach at his heated stare. Hating how your heart picked up its pace.

You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms. “If you’re implying that it was you I was thinking of, Azriel, then I’d say you think far too highly of yourself.”

“Your body says otherwise,” he growled, leaning down to whisper in your ear.

You put both your hands on his chest and pushed him away. “No, no! You don’t get to do this, Azriel! You came to me. You came to my balcony, almost kissed me, and then disappeared for days! And then the next time I saw you, you had your tongue down Elain’s throat before running off to go fuck eachother.”

“I didn’t fuck Elain,” he grunted. “I’ve never fucked Elain.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

“No…I don’t know—fuck!” He ran a frustrated hand through his hair.

“I did as you said. I left you alone like you wanted,” you spat at him. “You cannot come back to me and cast any sort of judgment on who I wish to spend my time with. You can’t come to me and act like you want me now. You had your chance and you were the one who walked away. So why won’t you just leave me alone?”

You said the words but your heart was screaming the opposite. All you wanted was to grab him, to kiss him, to continue where you guys had left off that night. You can tell in the way he stared at you that he wanted the same. But you deserved better than that—better than this.

“Because I can’t. I can’t stay away from you,” Azriel said. He looked unhinged, desperate. As if your mere presence caused him such conflict. His eyes were pleading you for something, but you had no idea what he even wanted. He was so hot and cold.

So you squared your shoulders and straightened the crown on your head.

“Well, that's your problem not mine,” you said before finally leaving the room.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

Gods, the last few days had been draining. Dealing with Keir was a headache without having to also be around the brooding shadowsinger. You two hadn’t spoken to each other besides small words in passing and you tried to ignore his heavy gaze most of the time. The rest of your family had returned to Velaris after the party, leaving just you two to occupy the Moonstone Palace. Thankfully it was a rather big place which made it easier to avoid Azriel.

But you still had half a week left with him here.

You sank yourself further down in the bathtub, twisting your wine glass in your hand. You had a lot to think about. Your brother was crafting a response to Prince Cedric and needed your input of whether you wished to get to know him better, if you felt anything towards him. Eris had also sent you a letter today. Apparently this time he actually did have something of importance to share with you, but had also admitted to wishing to see you again.

Perhaps it was time to move on from Azriel. Prince Cedric was handsome and kind, with his wavy blonde hair and cerulean eyes. But he lived on the continent, would eventually rule there, and you didn’t know if you could live so far away from your brother, nephew and soon to be niece.

And then there was Eris. All the Vanserra males were annoyingly attractive and one day soon, he’d be the High Lord of Autumn. But he was complex. Half the time you didn’t even know which mask was his real personality. Was he really a kind male underneath that cruel armor he wore? Not to mention his past with your cousin.

You sighed and drank the rest of your wine before getting out of the bath. You pulled on your silk nightgown, the Palace charmed too warm to wear anything else to sleep, and dried your hair with some magic. It was late and you figured it was safe enough now to wonder about—figuring Azriel was asleep or at the very least, in his own bed chambers.

You made your way down the vast corridors until you ended up right in front of the double doors leading into the study. Your brain was restless right now, but maybe some reading would help. You pushed the doors open and immediately wanted to curse the Mother. Of course you would jinx yourself. Of course the shadowsinger would be in the study already.

Azriel looked up as the doors opened, his eyes finding yours. He looked…rough. His hair was in disarray, his eyes shadowed, and an almost empty bottle of whiskey sat on the small table in front of the armchair he was sitting in. You stood there for a moment, both staring at each other, until the doors slamming closed behind you made you jump.

You let out a sigh and turned around, ready to leave, when his voice stopped you. “Don’t…Don’t leave. Please.”

The desperation in his voice made you pause and you studied the intricate doors in front of you. You should leave. You absolutely should walk through those doors and go back to your private bed chambers. But…But this tension between the two of you was a dark cloud lingering over you. You had never had a contentious relationship with anyone in the Inner Circle.

So you stayed, turning around and letting out a gasp as you came face to face with Azriel. You hadn’t even heard him move, hadn’t heard him even get up. You placed a hand over your heart and took a step back, putting more distance between the two of you.

He reached for you but you took another step back, sniffing the air. “You’re drunk, Az.”

“I know,” he said, darkly. “But I can’t take this shit anymore. I can’t do anything when I know how upset you are with me. I hate it, y/n. I hate that I’ve hurt you.”

You crossed your arms over your chest, upset. How could he be taking this so poorly when he was the one who caused all of this? You said nothing, just stared at him expectantly.

“Princess…” he trailed off, staring down at you with melancholy eyes. “I…Can we please just forget about the past week? I can’t stand you being upset with me. Can we just…go back to how things used to be—before all of this?”

“How?” you breathed out. “How am I just supposed to forget?”

How could you forget the hurt he had caused you…how could you erase the image of him and Elain stumbling into the River House in a heat of passion…by the cauldron, how could you forget about the way he treated you at training…and the night on the balcony afterwards. How?

“I don’t know,” he whispered, running a hand through his hair. He looked devastating in the dim faelights of the study, surrounded by marble bookcases and the open walls looking out towards the mountains. Even as dishelved as he was. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m so, so sorry that I hurt you. I fucked up. I should’ve never come to you that night…I should’ve never touched you.”

Hurt flashed across your face. Had he really not wanted you that night? Had you completely misinterpreted his actions? Was he about to finally tell you he didn’t want you—that he wanted Elain and was sorry for leading you on? You didn’t know if your heart could take it…

“No, don’t…” Azriel said, seeming to notice where your thoughts had turned. “I don’t mean it like that, princess.” He reached a hand forward, brushing some of your hair behind your ear. “I did want you…I still do. But you have to understand, we can’t. This…us…it can never happen.”

“Why?” you choked out. He didn’t make any sense. If you wanted him, and he wanted you, then what the hell was stopping either of you? Was he scared of how your brother might react? If that was the case then he could just say so. You could deal with Rhys.

His hand lingered on your cheek, his thumb rubbing against the soft skin. You shouldn’t let him touch you. Shouldn’t even be so close to him. But Gods, your heart ached for his touch.

“Because,” he started, then faltered for a moment. “Because it just can’t, princess. I’m sorry.”

You pushed his hand away from you. “You owe me more than that, Azriel! You owe me a godsdamn explanation. Why? Why can’t it happen? Because of Elain–”

“No,” he growled. “It has nothing to do with Elain. I don’t even care about Elain. I just want you—”

“I don’t think you know what you want, Azriel,” you scoffed. “You can’t stand here and say you don’t want Elain after what I witnessed between you two. I saw you, you know, in the kitchens that night. I saw you together before I even went to the continent. So don’t tell me you don’t want her, don’t care for her!”

“It’s the truth,” he pleaded. “I swear to the Gods themselves. I don’t want Elain. I have never wanted Elain. I have never even wanted Mor. All I’ve ever wanted was you. You and only you.”

“You’re not making any sense,” you cried. “How can you even say that? I watched you pine after Mor for years! And now everything with Elain—”

“I need you to understand, princess. I never meant to hurt you. I never wanted to. But we cannot happen. I saw the way you looked at me and Gods, I wanted nothing other than to tell you how I felt. But you…I can never have you. So I pretended to pine after Mor for years hoping you’d move on. And then she came out to all of us, told us she preferred females, so I had to find someone else—”

“You expect me to believe that this whole time you’ve been pretending to like other girls? Mor, maybe I can believe because you never pursued her. But Elain? Azriel, I stumbled upon you guys twice! It certainly didn’t look like you were pretending.”

“Because that night in the kitchens I was trying to make myself want her. Make myself want anyone other than you. Because I can’t have you, princess, don’t you get it! It’s fucking agony to crave you the way I do and not be able to do anything about it. So I tried, Gods, I tried to move on. But it didn’t work. We never got past what you saw. I couldn’t force myself to want her because I don’t. I don’t want anyone other than you.”

“And what about the second time? Were you just pretending then, as well?”

“I knew you were home that night. I had been tracking you the whole day with my shadows. After what happened between us on the balcony, I was scared you’d try to act on your feelings for me. So I purposefully sought out Elain. Purposefully led her back when I knew you’d be there to catch us. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I hurt you but I needed you to move on. Even if it meant you’d hate me.”

“I-I don’t understand,” you stuttered. “If you want me and I want you, then what’s stopping us, Azriel? Why do you keep saying you can’t have me? Is it because of my brother? Do you think he wouldn’t approve—wouldn’t think you deserving? Because you are, Az. I love—”

Azriel surged forward and pressed you against the door with a hand around your mouth, wings snapped out to their full length. Your eyes widened as you looked up at him, your chest heaving.

“Don’t,” he snarled. “Don’t say it. Don’t. I won’t be able to control myself and this will all be for nothing. This will all end horribly.”

When you made no move to say anything else, his hand slowly dropped from your mouth. You felt tears line your eyes. You felt frustrated, mad, upset. You couldn’t wrap your head around what he was trying to tell you.

“At least tell me why, Azriel. Don’t you think I deserve that? You said you’re sorry for hurting me but can’t you see how much you’re hurting me by doing this? It hurts more to know you want me the way I want you but not enough to be with me.”

Azriel let out a groan and sank to his knees in front of you, bowing his head. “You have no idea how much I want you, princess. No idea. It is you who is in my head every single second of every single day. It is you I think about as I fall asleep and you I think about the moment I awake. I would crawl through hell on my knees just to be able to kiss you, to hold you, to love you. But I can’t….I can’t, y/n.”

You held your breath, a few tears leaking from your eyes. This was everything you’d ever wanted. These were words he had only ever told you in your dreams. And here he was, finally saying them for real. But in the same breath, telling you that this, that you and him, would never, ever happen.

“Why?” you whispered. “Why?”

But Azriel said nothing further. Just knelt on his knees in front of you like he was praying to the Gods, his head bowed between his shoulders, his wings drooping against the floor. You waited for him to say anything, anything that might help you understand. But nothing…nothing ever came from his mouth.

You loosened a breath, your heart heavy in your chest and left.

Left Azriel on his knees in that room, with the words he said hanging over him like a death sentence.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

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*If you don't see your username and you asked to be tagged, it's bc it won't let me for some dumb reason.

*Hope you guys don't hate me too much!! We'll get some more Az POV soon and maybe next part we'll finally get some answersss ;)

#acotar #fanfic #azriel #acotar fanfiction #acotar x reader #acotar x you #angst #azriel fanfic #azriel x reader #azriel shadowsinger #azriel fic #azriel acotar #azriel x you #shadowsinger x reader #original character #acotar writing

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runningfrom2am · 2 months

Text

red blazer (c.s.)

pairing: coryo x fem!reader

wc: 2k

tags/warnings: reader is arachne's "little sister" (they're like, a year apart lol but she GIVES little sister), sexual content if you actually squint, arachne is mean but in a big sister way, otherwise it's just cute and kinda funny. idk. enjoy!

requests (currently closed- feel free to send whatever but it will be a while before I get to them!)

nav / coriolanus snow masterlist

a/n: omg second ever coryo oneshot from me. LISTEN- i know i should do more of these BUT i loveee doing series for him bc his personality is SO fun to work with. anyway lol, check out my coryo series'.

"Maybe if you spent less time annoying me and my friends you would make some of your own." Arachne hums, sensing you standing in the doorway to the dining room where she and her friends were apparently working on some kind of assignment.

"I didn't even say anything!" You whine. "I was literally just coming to say hi."

"Well, don't. No one wants to say hi to you."

You pout, staring at her and crossing your arms. "Can I sit? Just for a few minutes? I won't even say anything. I won't bother you, I promise." There was an extremely tempting empty seat across from your sister and next to her friend Coriolanus that you'd been eying since you walked in.

He was just so pretty, so well composed, so tall, you were in love. Your crush on him had been lifelong, and with him only thirteen months older than you, it wasn't at all weird or totally unattainable. That's what you'd been telling yourself, anyway.

Arachne rolls her eyes, slamming her pen down on the table. "I already told you, the fact that you even exist is annoying to me. So, no. Go. Away."

"Arachne, it's fine if she sits for a few minutes." Clemensia cuts in, eager to just be polite but it makes you smile, nodding excitedly.

"Yeah, not everyone is as easily distracted as you are." Your heart flutters in your chest as Coriolanus comes to your defense, and you're already across the room and sliding into the seat next to him.

"You underestimate how annoying my little sister is." Arachne mumbles through gritted teeth, already looking back down at her textbook.

Coriolanus looks over at you and smiles, making the butterflies in your stomach erupt into a panicked frenzy.

"Hi." You whisper, cheeks flushing red.

"Hi." He replies quietly, his tone apologetic.

To Coriolanus Snow, Arachne's little sister was an outlier to her incredibly stuck-up family. She acted out often, was no stranger to commanding the attention of every room she entered, and to him, was the most beautiful girl to ever walk the academy halls.

So every time a group project or paper was assigned, he was forcing himself into the seat next to the oldest Crane daughter and requesting that they work together.

"Maybe at your house? Like usual?"

And it worked, one hundred percent of the time.

"What are you working on?" You whisper, leaning your elbow on the table and looking at the books he had laid out in front of him.

"Nothing fun, I assure you." He chuckles quietly, and you ignore your sister's glare that you could feel burning into your forehead.

"That's boring." You sigh quietly. "What's your favourite class?"

"Law."

"Law?" The way you scrunch up your nose and question his answer makes him smile. "I am sorry for you."

He laughs even though you weren't joking, about to ask what your favourite class was when he's stopped by your sister shouting.

"Mom! Y/N's annoying us, make her go away!"

In a flash, you're shoving the chair back and darting out of the room, disappearing down the long hall of the penthouse.

You were adorable. He knew at that moment that he had to have you.

Being Arachne Crane's "little" sister was a nightmare all on its own. She was annoying, she hated you or at least acted like it, and despite being the baby of the family it felt like every day you were making desperate attempts to claw your way out of her and your brother's collective shadow.

Maybe that's all this was. Did you really like Coriolanus, or did you just like annoying your sister?

The thought crossed your mind only momentarily before Coryo tugged gently at your hair to turn your head so he could detach his lips from yours only to move his kisses and gentle bites to your neck.

Nope, there was no way this had anything to do with your sister.

You let out a soft sigh, holding his shoulders to support yourself as you straddle his lap on the edge of your bed. "Coryo..." You whine, pouting because you know he only has so much time before his absence from the dining room would be truly noticed, and he was dragging this out more than he probably should.

"Tell me what you need, pretty girl." He hums into your skin, his hold on you shifting your hips and tightening over the waistband of your underwear- the only remaining article of clothing on your body.

"Hurry." You mumble, tilting your head down to capture his lips again.

"I told her I was leaving." He tells you between kisses. "We have all the time in the world." You can feel the smile on his lips against your own, and you match it in excitement.

By now, you'd been sneaking around for months. It had been fun, but certainly exhausting.

Worth it. One hundred percent worth it. You think to yourself as he lifts you to turn you over and lay you back on your perfectly made bed, leaning over you and reattaching his lips to your neck.

"How will you leave?" You ask breathlessly as his large hand finds your waist again, gentle but firm in its hold.

"We'll figure it out." He mumbles, clearly very far from concerned about it.

You're almost too caught in the moment to hear the banging on your door that causes you both to freeze, heads snapping in the direction of the sound.

"Y/N! Where's my shirt?! I know you took it!"

Arachne.

"Shit, shit, uh-" You panic as Coryo very quickly jumps off of you, tumbling loudly off the bed and onto the ground getting caught on the edge of your duvet.

"What the hell are you doing? I'm coming in-"

"No!" You shout, panicked as you look around. "Uh- one second, I'm naked!" Not entirely a lie. While Coryo gathers his academy uniform that's scattered across the floor, having left him only in his black boxers, you pull a towel off the back of your door and wrap it around yourself.

You have to hide him. Quickly scanning the room, you have three options: your walk-in closet, under the bed, or in your bathroom.

"Get in the closet." You whisper, quickly shoving him toward the door.

"I don't care, I need my shirt!" Arachne says, the sound of her opening your door masking the sound of your closet door closing.

Your chest is rising and falling quickly as she marches in, immediately looking around. "God, what took you so long? You look like you're having a heart attack." She mutters, digging through the laundry basket that was yet to be taken by the house staff.

"I was about to have a shower." You answer, forcing yourself to not look in the direction of the closet.

"Right." Arachne rolls her eyes, stomping into the bathroom to begin looking there.

"Why the hell are you showering at six pm? We have dinner at the Creed's in an hour." She calls out.

"That's obviously why I'm having a shower." Honestly, you had totally forgotten about dinner.

"Yeah, you probably should. It stinks in here."

You roll her eyes at her comment, but they widen in horror as her warpath begins toward the closet. "No! Wait!" You stop her, clutching the towel to your chest as you step in front of the door to stop her. "Uh- what shirt are you looking for?"

"Which shirt? The white one, with the lace trim collar. Oh my god, do you have more than one?" She asks angrily.

"Oh, that one is in the laundry. They took it yesterday." You lie and she groans, walking back toward the door.

"I hate you! God, you make everything so difficult." She mutters, stopping on her walk back to the door and looking at the few articles of clothing scattered around your bed. You follow her gaze, biting your tongue and internally cursing when you notice Coryo's blazer that was dropped haphazardly on top of the pile. She picks it up, looking it over with a furrowed brow. You watch as she looks over at yours, which is neatly pressed and folded for the morning sitting on your desk chair.

"A men's medium." She says as she reads the tag, pausing before turning back to you slowly, this time, with an off-putting smile on her face. "Who's in the closet?" She whispers, and your face burns more than it already was.

"No one." You answer quickly, possibly too quickly.

"You're lying." She states, and you shake your head quickly. It doesn't go over her head that you look like a deer caught in the headlights. "Then you won't mind if I..." She says, starting off slow before breaking into a run toward the door which you instinctively block with your body, gripping the towel with one hand and holding out the other arm to block her while you fight for the door handle handle.

"I knew it!" She hisses, finally giving up and pointing a finger right at your nose. Quickly, she looked back over her shoulder toward the open door to make sure no one else was around before she spoke again. "Is it Allium?" She asks quietly, for some reason suddenly interested in who you spend your time with, and if it's with that boy in your year who continually gets on your nerves.

You shake your head again, swallowing thickly.

"Tell me who it is."

"No one!" You lie, already knowing the bit was up as she tosses the blazer back to where she found it.

"Ugh, you're no fun." She rolls her eyes, shoving you gently before turning to leave. "Whatever. I don't care. Just don't get pregnant- I know you're stupid and all but Mom will skin you alive."

"Get out!" You snap, walking over and shoving her out the door before slamming it behind her.

You hear her laugh as she walks away, steps receding down the hall back in the direction of her own room.

You let out a tense sigh of relief, waiting a moment to hear her door closed before going over to the closet and opening the door.

Coryo is still laughing to himself as he buttons up his shirt and tucks the back of it into his pants. "Stop!" You exclaim in a whisper, giving him a gentle smack on the shoulder but you can't help but laugh as well. "It's not funny!"

"It's pretty funny." He says lowly, leaning down to kiss you softly.

"It's not that funny." You roll your eyes playfully. "We could get in serious trouble, sneaking around like this! God- it's crazy." You sigh, shaking your head as you step back into your room, suddenly serious.

He follows, sensing your worries as you drop the towel with your back facing him, quickly pulling a t-shirt on to cover up. "We can't- we have to stop." You shake your head, talking mostly to yourself.

"Hey, woah, that's a little rash, don't you think?" He asks as you turn back to face him.

"I don't!" You insist. "I mean, it sucks, but this is far too risky. We're done with... whatever this is."

Coryo shrugs, clearly unaffected by your concerns. "Let's just... next time, let's just go for dinner or something."

You tilt your head at him. "What? That's not, we can't-"

"Why not?" He asks, closing the space between you and reaching his hands out to grab your waist. "Your sister will suck it up eventually. Once she realizes how in love you are with me."

"I- I am not in love with you!" You protest, cheeks flushing pink again. "And even if I was, which I am most definitely not, she would scalp me. She doesn't care, I can't date one of her friends."

"Let me handle her." He insists, once again shrugging it off. "I'm being serious. I really like spending time with you, would it be the worst thing if we were together?"

"Wait, like, you're asking me out?"

He gives you a quick nod, still smiling at you.

"I- I mean sure, if that's what you want." You nod, blush spreading evenly across your nose. You had to blink a few times to confirm you were awake and that this was real.

"I'm asking if that's what you want." He chuckles.

"Yeah, yes. Of course." You shake your head, trying to get your thoughts straight and pull yourself together. "I would like that, Coryo."

taglist: @keziahcore, @soulessjourney, @kitscutie, @annaelise, @serrendiipty, @fratboyharrysgf0201, @totallynotkaibiased, @stelleduarte, @klplynn, @secretsicanthideanymore, @bejeweledreverie, @fals3-g0d, @gloryekaterina, @andrewgarfieldsbitch, @queenofspades6, @pepperonipastas, @ladybug0095, @lunamothwrites, @sbrewer21, @mus-tbe-a-weasley, @unclecrunkle, @karmaswitch, @rororo06, @coconut-dreamz, @nekee-lilac02, @ooooglymoooogly, @slytherinholland, @riddlerloveb0t, @lovedbalances, @notyourwildestdream, @snowlandson-top, @too-lit-for-fanfic, @utopiakys, @deafeningballoonnacho, @darlingisntit, @chmpgneprblem, @cosmoetik, @lauravanderbooben20, @dry0campa, @luclue, @lokidala, @urvampgfsworld, @carolanns-world, @that-veela-girl

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operationslipperypuppet · 3 months

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to expand lightly on my theory post regarding some of what might be afoot this season (devised and parsed through in collaboration with @stone-stars)

the actions against cassandra and kristen are a revenge plot, orchestrated by a combination of sol, galicaea, and helio. they each have their own vendettas contributing to this. sol has beef with kristen due to the “wholeheartedly reject all offers” scene, where he does turn on her first. he also was incapacitated in freshman year because she let aguefort into his domain. i imagine a sun god isn’t super pleased that there were 4 months of endless night. he also might not like cassandra due to who she used to be. helio once chose kristen and continued to supply her with spells despite her rejection of him and his teachings. she refused to spend any time with him and literally punched him in the face. he’s got some baggage there, for sure. galicaea experienced the first time kristen and cassandra connected, her attempt at convincing kristen was disrupted by the goddess eventually known as cassandra. her followers were responsible for killing the initial version of cassandra. her followers are now facing a revival due to tracker’s pilgrimage (kristen’s ex) and she’s just petty enough to blame kristen for that. plus, her snooty self hated her wolfy side. this revival would arguably make the snootier elves double down on that hatred. as above, so below.

the goings on against fig and the establishment of her cool new horrible luck are probably coming from a devil. the pride armor vision showed that it had ties to that sort of thing. and devils are lawful. fig is not. her ascension into the seat of the bottomless pit was on a technicality and the people who presided over it immediately hated that it happened. she’s been busy (she’s a mortal teen attempting to save the world) and has neglected her hellish domain on a similar level to her father, who lost his job about it. the lawful operatives running hell would not take kindly to that. so they could (would) reach out to her in a moment of her weakness and hand off a curse, as punishment. because hell is also about punishment.

now, i’m sure you’re thinking: why are these in the same post? easy. because i think they’re connected.

the rage stones that were corrupting cassandra and the mages were similar to what happened to ragh’s mom, as zac figured out. lydia is in a medically prolonged state of rage to keep the devil in her chest at bay. (there are some discrepancies over whether it’s a devil or a demon. but i trust ragh to know those minor details over arthur “i forgot to tell lydia i was doing this” aguefort). if something kept back by a prolonged state of rage was given leave to attempt its influence on something (on the astral plane, no less, where rules are almost always different), perhaps its influence would be rage inducing. and, just as she was taken over by one of these stones, kalina, who knew about lydia’s status in sophomore year since she did try to kill lydia, called out “ragh barkrock!”, bringing up another clear and direct connection.

the nightmare king sided with demons during the blood wars. the devils trapped the nightmare king in the forest (this is why arianwen needed gorthalax and why fig’s promotion was vital to their success). the devils would probably want to fight back. the gods we’ve met would probably dislike the imbalance that comes from establishing a new god, especially one who is a riff on one they already destroyed (cassandra establishes that she is not the same goddess she was before her sister killed her. but there have to be similarities. and maybe galicaea doesn’t know that).

the first time we meet our beloved garthy o’brien, they talk about how devils (they say fiends but are explicitly talking about devils and not demons) and celestials and gods are not simply opposed. they’re part of a system that balances out all its parts. angels fall. devils could rise. they work together as part of a bigger system.

so. so. if two specific mortals and their merry band of idiot friends are in direct opposition to some of the most powerful and petty entities in the universe, would they not want to perhaps join forces to attempt to take them down? especially if it could come from freeing one (“important”) devil from decades of being trapped, restoring balance further?

bonus here is the idea that bill seacaster’s goal in hell is to “kill the devil himself”, and perhaps he’s getting too close for comfort and balance must be maintained somehow. and what better way to distract him than by threatening his son?

plus, we know cassandra’s “i thought you were dead” wasn’t directed at kalina or the nightmare king. but maybe, in her brief time back as a god, she noticed the absence of a particular devil. and thought they might have died, when they were actually just trapped.

all that being said, it’s a fun theory to me and maybe we’re completely wrong. but everything we thought about more made it make more sense, which is a wild experience.

#dimension 20 #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #fantasy high junior year spoilers #fhjy

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theostrophywife · 1 year

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high for this.

masterlist (azriel x reader) author's note: inspired by another song by the weeknd because smoking a blunt with azriel is a concept that i obviously needed to indulge in. warning: drug use and smut. summary: when your older brother bans you from attending the high lord's banquet, you talk azriel into having a celebration of your own with the help of a little mirthroot.

“Are you seriously locking me in a room with Azriel?”

The setting sun projects pink and golden stripes across your bedchambers while you stubbornly cross your arms and level your gaze at your older brother. As you lean against the railing of the balcony, Rhysand rubs his temples and sighs dramatically.

From this vantage point, you could make out Feyre’s shadow as she milled about the House of Wind with Nuala and Cerridwen trailing behind her. Along with the rest of the inner circle, they were getting ready to depart for the Court of Nightmares where a banquet would be held to welcome the other High Lords. A celebration that Rhys had just uninvited you to thanks to a slight altercation with the High Lord of the Spring Court.

“You shocked Tamlin with enough lightning to power all of Prythian,” replies Rhysand. “I think it best if you refrain from attending the festivities until you’ve had time to reflect on your actions.”

You sneer, examining your nails with utter boredom. So what if you used your powers on the spring lordling? He shouldn’t have growled at Feyre if he didn’t want to get hit with a bolt of lightning. Tamlin was practically asking for it.

“Rich of you to say, Rhys. The last time you were in a High Lord’s meeting, you literally took away that twat’s ability to speak.”

Leaning against the moonstone archway of your private balcony, the amused chortle of the shadowsinger draws your attention. “And you,” you point an accusing finger at your would be babysitter. “You nearly killed Eris, yet you came out unscathed. It hardly seems fair.”

Rhys shakes his head. “Why do you think I’m keeping both of you in here?” He picks at an invisible piece of lint from the lapel of his jacket, drawing another eye roll out of you. “At least you’re spared from enduring two hours of Beron’s incessant bitching.”

You grin wickedly as lavender lightning crackles through your fingertips. “Put me in the room and I’ll make sure the Autumn Lord keeps his mouth shut.”

The High Lord sighs. “That’s exactly what I’m trying to avoid, dear sister.” He drags his gaze between you and Azriel with a weary expression. “Please, I’m asking for one night. Just stay here with Az and try not to get into too much trouble.”

You plop down on the velvet loungers lining your balcony with a dramatic flourish. “Fine, but it’s going to cost you.”

Weariness laces through his features as he mutters under his breath, “As if I haven’t been paying the price for nearly five centuries.”

“I heard that, you prick.” You shoot your brother a vulgar gesture. “Just know that my next shopping spree at the Continent is entirely on you.”

“So be it,” Rhys accepts in defeat. He nods at the shadowsinger on his way out. “Keep an eye on her, please and whatever you do, don’t let her fly out of here.”

You roll your eyes. As if either one of them could even catch you once you took to the skies. You were faster than both Rhys and Azriel when it came to flying and both males knew it.

“Yeah, yeah,” you reply haughtily, unfurling your wings as you recline back in your seat. “I promise not to burn the house down, if only for Feyre’s sake.”

On the floor below you, Feyre chuckles and sends you a sympathetic smile. You wink back at your High Lady as Rhysand flies down to her side.

“Try not to have too much fun without me, sissy.”

She throws her head back in laughter as wings protrude from her back. “Wouldn’t dream of it, love.”

You watch with a fond smile as your brother and sister-in-law ascend to the skies. As much as you loved giving Rhysand a hard time, you were bursting with happiness that he’d found the love that he’s deserved all along. The fact that it placed another female in his life that constantly called him out on his shit was also an added bonus.

As they disappear from view, you cross your legs and level your gaze at Azriel. “Now that they’re gone, what should we do first? Raid the wine cellar? Skinny dip in the Sidra? Winnow to the Day Court for a good old fashioned orgy?”

The shadowsinger shakes his head in amusement. “Would it kill you to have a quiet night in for once in your life?”

You gasp dramatically, clawing at your neck and pretending to choke. “My throat is closing up just at the thought of it. You know I’m utterly allergic to boredom.”

Azriel playfully rolls his eyes. “Then I suppose I’ll just have to find a way to entertain you.”

Now that was intriguing. “I’m listening,” you prompt, gesturing for the male to continue.

With whatever strange power the shadowsinger possessed, he conjures an egg roughly the size of your head from the safety of his shadows. The scaled surface reflects the setting sun, catching the light and gleaming an iridescent color as he cradles the unhatched egg in the palm of his hand.

“Is that what I think it is?” you ask in amazement, scooting between the couchettes to get a closer look at the invaluable item.

“A dragon’s egg from deep in the mines of Montesere.”

Azriel hands you the scaled egg and you carefully turn it over in your palm, examining every unique curve and ridge. When you were younger, you became absolutely obsessed with dragons and even convinced your parents to search for an unhatched egg in the Continent, but never had any luck acquiring one due to the rarity of the object. With the dragon’s numbers steadily dwindling, it was hard to even spot the reclusive creatures, much more obtaining their coveted hatchlings.

“How did you get your hands on this?”

Azriel shrugs casually. “I may have slipped a miner a gold coin or two to look the other way.” He watches as you hold the valuable treasure up to the light, a fond smile curving through his lips as you examine it with careful consideration. “I remember how obsessed you were with dragons back when we were younger. You wouldn’t stop spouting random facts about them whenever you could. To the point where Rhys banned you from bringing them up during family dinners.”

You grin, remembering how much you annoyed Rhysand with your endless tidbits about the creatures. “I can’t believe you remember that. It was so long ago.”

The shadowsinger grins. “I hope you like it because I’m still finding ash and soot in places they don’t belong.”

You smile, fingers stilling on the scales as you look up at Azriel. “You went into the mines to bring this back for me?”

He nods. “Couldn’t pass up the chance. Think of it as an early Solstice present.”

The gesture was extremely touching. You couldn’t explain how or why, but the shadowsinger always just knew. Growing up, you and Azriel were the closest. While you cherished your relationships with Rhysand and Cassian, they didn’t understand you quite like Azriel did.

The shadowsinger was your partner in crime, always getting roped into whatever scheme you fancied in the moment, pranking Cas and Rhys while they cruised for females, and even sneaking out with you at late hours in the night if only to keep you safe while out in the city. Even when his brothers deemed it a buzzkill to have their little sister tagging along to their plans, Azriel always made it a point to include you.

Despite the contrast of your loud and boisterous nature to Azriel’s quiet and reserved disposition, your personalities somehow just clicked. The two of you were as thick as thieves and you knew you were Azriel’s favorite no matter how many times he complained about you being a pain in his arse.

To be fair, Azriel was your favorite too. The shadowsinger was your first friend, first person to teach you how to shoot a bow, first male that you’ve ever had a crush on. Even after all this time, you still carried a torch for the dark, broody male. The cliche of falling for your brother’s best friend wasn’t lost on you, but it was impossible to not love Azriel. Especially when he did things like scouring the mines of Montesere just to bring you home a dragon egg.

“Thank you, Azriel. That’s really sweet.” You hug the present to your chest, carrying it over to the nightstand next to your four poster bed where you could admire it every morning and night. “Now I’ll think of you every time I wake up and go to sleep.”

Azriel smirks. “I thought you already did that, princess.” You shoot him a vulgar gesture in response to his self proclaimed nickname for you, which only makes him laugh. “I’m hoping this means you’ll be on your best behavior tonight.”

You snort. “Is the feared spymaster actually trying to bribe me? That’s cute, Azzy.”

“I’m tempted to go back and fetch you another hatchling if you promise to stop calling me that.”

“Never,” you grin wickedly. “Now come on, Azzy. You promised to entertain me.”

Settling into the cushioned seat beside him, you raise a suggestive brow and pull out a tray from underneath the chair. On its mirrored surface sat a roll of papers, a grinder, and a jar full of the most potent mirthroot in Prythian. You cross your legs as you dump the purple clumps of flower onto the glass, packing it tightly into the grinder as Azriel sighs.

“I don’t suppose you bought that from the Rainbow.”

You twist the grinder as it pulverizes the flowers into finer pieces. “Gods, I wish. Good mirthroot is hard to come by nowadays. I paid nearly an arm and a leg for this from a rogue merchant.”

He crosses his legs, unfurling his wings behind him. “I’m going to take a wild guess that smoking mirthroot isn’t on Rhysand’s list of approved activities.”

You childishly stick out your tongue in response. “It’s medicinal.”

Azriel raises an amused brow. “What ailment are you suffering from?”

“I’m looking at him right now.”

The shadowsinger rolls his eyes, but makes no move to stop you as you dump out the crushed flowers onto a slip of rolling paper. He watches in silence as you roll up the spliff, packing it tightly between your slender fingers before running your tongue along the edge of the paper. Azriel zeroes in on the fluid movement, his gaze dipping to your mouth with unabashed scrutiny.

With a teasing smirk, you spark the blunt with a shock of your lightning and place the roll between your lips. You take a slow drag, inhaling the smoke in your lungs as the sweet, heady taste of mirthroot envelopes your senses. Azriel couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. Balancing the blunt between your middle and pointer finger, you offer it to the shadowsinger with a mischievous grin.

“Do you want a hit?” you challenge.

The male shakes his head. “I’m good, princess.”

Displeased by his answer, you blow a ring of smoke towards Azriel as one of his shadows darts through the opening. Mother save him, the husky timbre of your laughter awakens the dark desire slumbering in the pits of his very being. This dangerous attraction he harbors for you was something he’d long tried to bury, telling himself over and over again that you only saw him as a friend and a brother. He was supposed to be watching over you, protecting you, caring for you like Rhys asked, but it was hard to remember his duty when you smiled at him like this.

“Come on, shadowsinger. Live a little.”

“I don’t partake in anything that may alter my mind,” he states matter of factly. “As spymaster, I need to be alert at all times.”

You roll your eyes in response. “Oh please. I’m really supposed to buy into that clean cut warrior bullshit? Like I don’t know all the trouble you, Rhys, and Cas got into when you were still in the camps.”

Azriel chuckles. “Maybe, but that was a long time ago. I’m not the reckless male I used to be.”

“Damn right. That Az was a lot more fun.” He scoffs, feigning a hurt expression. “I know you’ve smoked it before. What’s the harm in having a little puff now?”

Despite his long suffering sigh, a grin breaks out on Azriel’s handsome face. “Fine, but if Rhys asks, this was all your idea.”

Scooting to the edge of his seat, you swing your legs underneath you while the shadowsinger takes the blunt from between your slender fingers. He examines it for a moment before bringing it up to his lips and taking a long drag. The winged warrior’s head rolls back while he inhales the smoke and his long, dark lashes flutter against his sharp cheekbones as he allows the mirthroot to dull his senses.

Azriel hums in satisfaction and the pleased sound sweeps over you like the rumble of an oncoming storm. He lazily opens one eye, grinning when he sees you watching him.

“Like what you see?” he asks cockily.

Your face heats, but you roll your eyes nonetheless. “The sight of the infamous shadowsinger taking that stick up his arse to have fun with me? Absolutely.”

He sticks his tongue out before taking another drag. “Only you could peer pressure me into getting high while I’m supposed to be keeping you out of trouble.”

“It’s not my fault that the big, bad spymaster has a soft spot for me.”

Azriel flicks your nose. “One that you shamelessly exploit.”

You steal the blunt from his fingers, inhaling deeply while his shadows swirl through your wrist. “What are you gonna do, Az? Take me down to that dungeon of yours and punish me?”

The shadowsinger’s eyes darken for a brief second before he chuckles darkly. You can’t tell if it’s the mirthroot or your close proximity, but something shifts in the air between you and Azriel, a building pressure that grows heavier the longer you’re around him. He swipes the spliff from you and carefully places it between his parted lips with a raised brow.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re nothing but trouble?”

You grin, sprawling your limbs over his legs and settling your head between his lap. “Don’t act like you don’t love being my partner in crime.”

“Someone has to keep you in line,” he replies.

With the back of your hand pressed against your forehead, you pretend to swoon. “My knight in shining armor. What would I ever do without you, Az?”

“Smartass.”

Electricity crackles through your fingertips as you send a soft pulse of your power through Azriel’s leg. The shadowsinger yelps in surprise and almost drops the blunt, rolling his eyes in amusement as you catch it between your lips with a wink.

“You’re lucky you’re my favorite, princess.”

Roughly twenty minutes later, you and Azriel were both higher than Mount Ramiel, gazing up at the stars and pointing out obscure shapes within the constellations.

“That one looks like a centaur!” you exclaim, lifting the spliff up to the cluster of stars above you.

“How the hell is that a centaur? It looks like a blob to me.”

“You just lack the imagination, you giant Illyrian baby. That’s clearly a head and look!” you jab Azriel in the ribs with your elbow, causing the shadowsinger to groan dramatically. “If you squint, that’s a horse’s arse right there.”

Azriel bursts out laughing, his typically serious expression replaced by a wide grin and red-rimmed eyes. It was comical to see this side of him. The shadowsinger was always so composed and controlled, the perfect picture of the menacing warrior that the rest of the realm viewed him as, but right now as he doubles over in laughter, all you saw was your best friend letting loose for once.

“We should do this more often,” you state, shifting in Azriel’s lap. He hums in agreement, stirring underneath you as he takes another hit.

You blink, watching as he takes the blunt between his lips, inhaling generously before releasing a puff of smoke that wafts across your open balcony. With his wind blown hair and glazed golden gaze, you can’t help but ogle Azriel. Gods above, no one should appear this attractive while smoking mirthroot. Anyone else would have looked like a sweaty, strung out mess, but not this male. Azriel was absolutely mouthwatering, which was saying a lot given the fact that you currently had cotton mouth thanks to the mirthroot.

The shadowsinger notices the hitch in your breathing and his free hand toys with the hem of your shirt, slipping his scarred fingers beneath the thin fabric. As the mirthroot reaches its peak, you can feel the hazy effects of the drug taking over your senses, clouding your mind with a thick fog of euphoria. Azriel continues to caress you lightly, smirking when you lean into his touch.

It’s a dangerous game that he’s playing. Touching you like this was wrong, so wrong, but it felt right even though it barely scratched the surface of where he wanted his hands to be. Your skin feels like silk underneath his calloused fingers and he swallows thickly as a soft, shallow breath emits from your parted lips. He wanted to devour you, take you apart until it’s his name falling from those lips, but you were both high and he didn’t want anything hindering his thoughts when he kissed you for the first time. No matter how badly he wanted to right now. Azriel blinks, attempting to collect himself and tampering down his greedy desire. For now, the expression of utter bliss on your face would have to satiate his need.

“Are you ready, princess?” he murmurs softly. Your eyes widen in surprise, blinking up at him through the fog of lust clouding your thoughts.

“F-for what?” you ask, the blush blooming high upon your cheeks as your eyes turn upon him, wild and flustered.

Azriel smirks. He loves seeing you like this, blushing fiercely and slipping out of your usual swagger and confidence to don a doe eyed shyness that was rarer than the egg he gifted you with.

For a second, he allows himself to imagine what you’d do if he leaned down and kissed you. Azriel would bet all the gold in the Night Court’s coffers that you’d fit perfectly in his arms, tasting of heady mirthroot and sweetwine, melting into him as he takes your face in his hands, but he stops himself before his imagination gets the best of him.

Instead of indulging himself, Azriel flicks the butt of the spliff and sends ashes scattering all over the moonstone floor. “The blunt. It’s almost out. I think it’s got a hit left, at best.”

You wave a hand, gesturing for him to finish it off. “Just charge me.” Azriel pauses, toying with the blunt between his lips. He raises a brow, which causes you to roll your eyes in response. “Oh relax, Azriel. I promise I won’t bite.”

The damned smirk on Az’s face sends goosebumps throughout your skin. He inhales the last of the smoke, holding it in his lungs as he trails over to you. Sitting upright, you half expect Azriel to back out, but instead, his hands find the back of your neck, angling you towards him before nudging your mouth open with his thumb.

You gladly oblige, feeling a sweep of heat travel through your entire body. Azriel’s mouth barely grazes yours as he exhales the smoke between your parted lips. His warmth, his touch, and his scent washes over like a flood. That golden gaze meets yours, holding you in place as though he was challenging you to cross over that gray area within your friendship.

While you’ve always been more forward than Azriel, something made you hesitate. You flirted with him plenty of times, dropping a suggestive remark followed by a wink here and there, but you’ve never actually acted on your words. For one, you really didn’t feel like dealing with the shitshow of a reaction Rhys would have if he ever found out about the feelings you harbored for one of his closest friends. And two, you weren’t sure you’d be able to handle the fallout if Azriel didn’t feel the same way about you.

You open your mouth to say something, anything, to crush the tension. Luckily, the grumbling of your own stomach beat you to it. Azriel laughs as he holds out a scarred hand.

“Come on, princess. Let’s get you some food.”

You really fucking loved chocolate cake.

More importantly, you loved whatever strange power the Cauldron granted to your sister-in-law to make the House of Wind conjure desert by simply asking for it. With Nesta and Cassian watching over Nyx at the River House, there was no one around to judge you for being high off your arse and tearing into the desert as though your immortal life depended on it.

No one except Azriel, who was currently more inebriated than you at the moment.

The Illyrian warrior dips a finger into the chocolate cake, licking the icing off with a satisfied hum while you teeter beside him. The sexual tension from earlier still lingers between you, but it was momentarily eclipsed by hunger.

“Use a fork, you barbarian.”

The shadowsinger shoots you a vulgar gesture in response, which makes you howl with laughter. You take a swath of icing and smear it on his cheek before running off into a sprint, giggling as he chases you across the kitchen. Azriel waves his sticky hands as he corners you into the dining table, swiping icing and chocolate on your nose while you squeal in protest.

“I really fucking love cake,” Azriel deadpans.

“Truer words have never been spoken.”

Without giving it much thought, you cradle his face in your hands and lick the chocolate off his cheek. Azriel stills as you shift atop the wooden surface of the table, scarred hands clamping down on your wrists as shadows swarm all around you. He settles between your legs, warm breath fanning over you as a devilish grin spreads across his handsome face. It takes every ounce of restraint for Azriel to maintain a small gap between you.

“Do that again and I won’t be able to help myself from taking what I want, princess.”

You inhale sharply as electricity crackles between you. Lavender lightning kisses your fingertips, wreathing itself through your wrists in response to the challenge in Azriel’s stare. The way he was looking at you like he intended to devour you makes the dark, rumbling power come alive in your veins.

The tension between you builds to a crescendo as Azriel examines you with a ravenous grin. Hazel eyes sweep over you, taking in your flushed cheeks, slightly parted lips, and that twinkling lavender gaze that seems to beckon him forth like a magnet. You were breathtakingly exquisite and devastatingly seductive. His own personal brand of poison.

He shouldn’t - he knew he shouldn’t, but when you look at him like that, Azriel couldn’t resist.

“Then take it,” you rasp, never once faltering as your gazes meet.

With your permission, Azriel grabs your face between his hands and crashes his lips onto yours. The sweetness of the icing clings onto his mouth, but you didn’t mind the taste. The kiss was hot, desperate, and full of need like you’ve both been thinking about this moment for gods knew how long. You gasp as Azriel grips the tops of your thighs and yanks you closer to him.

The shadowsinger settles between your legs and you greedily wrap them around his trim waist. Azriel groans into your mouth as his scarred fingers grip the back of your neck, tilting your head up so he can taste more of you. His wicked tongue slips past your parted lips while you fist his hair in your hands.

You’re frantic to feel more of Azriel against you, clawing at his back to take off his shirt while he kisses below your jaw, sucking harshly enough for it to mark. The aftereffects of the potent mirthroot heightens your senses and your body crackles with electricity while the shadowsinger knocks the plates and cups off of the dining table and presses his bare chest against you. Azriel is displeased to find fabric separating you and he’s unlacing your corset with such speed that it falls to the floor before you could even blink. With your torso exposed, he wraps you in a warm embrace and you claw at his back from the sensation. The skin on skin contact ignites your entire body. Azriel hikes the hem of your skirt past your thighs, watching as you shamelessly throw your head back and moan.

“Do you even know how long I’ve thought about this?” Azriel murmurs, nipping at your ear while his rough hand slides up your thigh. “The things I’ve imagined doing to you. Look at me, princess.” He pauses just below your lace panties and you buck at his hand while he chuckles, low and dark and dangerously seductive. “If I touch you, I don’t want it to be because you’re high off of mirthroot. If I touch you, I want you to know that its because I’ve loved you since the first moment I laid eyes on you.”

Your heart swells at the sight of this beautiful male. So perfect yet so unaware of how much he consumed your very being. “If you hadn’t noticed, I’m embarrassingly, ridiculously, and head over heels in love with you.”

You grip his wrist, staring at him with an unwavering gaze. “No amount of drugs will change the fact that I’ve wanted you since I knew what it meant to want a male.” Azriel growls as you direct his hand to the growing slickness dampening your lace panties. “I want you, Azriel. Whether I’m sober, drunk, or high off my ass, it’s always you.”

Relief floods the shadowsinger all at once. He’d spent centuries resisting this desire, afraid that you wouldn’t feel the same way about him, but one look at your soft, lavender eyes and he was overwhelmed by the sincerity swimming in your gaze.

Try as he might to fight it, Azriel has always known. You were his and he was yours. It was written in the stars.

“It’s always been you for me, too.” Azriel states as he cups your cheek. “My partner in crime.”

“And your favorite.”

The shadowsinger chuckles. “And what does my favorite want now?”

You grin. ”I want you to kiss me, Az.”

Azriel didn’t need to be told twice. The kiss is sweet at first, full of tender care while he softly pushes you backwards onto the dinner table, but all bets are off as soon as you bite down on Az’s bottom lip. He growls, yanking your panties down in one swift move. You shudder as his hand palms your exposed cunt.

You grip the edge of the wooden table, cake and icing squishing between your fingers as Azriel runs his digits over your slit. He laughs as you flick chocolate off your wrist and one of his shadows brings your hand up to the Illyrian male’s mouth as he licks away the remnants of the icing. The sight is sensual and has you pressing your thighs together at how sexy this male was without even trying.

“The cake is delicious, but I bet you taste even sweeter.”

A shiver shudders through your wings as they flare behind you. The only warning Azriel gives you comes in the form of a smirk before he’s kneeling between your legs and devouring your pussy like he’s been starved for centuries.

A scarred hand clamps down on both sides of your hips, holding them in place as your back arches off the wooden table. The sticky remnants of desert are all over you and Azriel, but he doesn’t seem to mind.

“We’re making a mess,” you breathe in amusement, gasping as Azriel prods his tongue between your flaps and laps up your dripping arousal.

He smirks against your skin before dragging icing through the inside of your thighs. Mischief twinkles in those caramel eyes while he kisses the side of your knee.

“I guess I’ll just have to lick you clean then.”

A male of his word, Azriel delivers on the promise and feasts on you until you’re cuming not once, but twice on his tongue. His skilled tongue devours any trace of the icing from the inside of your thigh and you shiver as he does so without breaking eye contact. As you come undone above him, Azriel savors the way your features contort with pleasure, all heavy lids and swollen lips while the back to back orgasms rack through your beautiful form.

Feminine wings splay out across the table and he gently caresses the lavender membrane, so soft and lovely underneath his touch. The fond smile on Azriel’s face tugs at your heartstrings. You were a fool to ever try to deny yourself of this male.

“Az, please,” you breathe, cupping his cheek. “I need you.”

Azriel kisses you softly and you moan into his mouth, fingers undoing the front of his leathers as he shrugs out of his clothing. His cock springs free from its constraints, long and thick just as you imagined it would be. Your mouth goes dry at the sight of Azriel in all his naked glory.

His tall, powerful form, those broad shoulders and solid chest, the perfectly sculpted abs, the battle scars marring his beautiful golden brown skin - you wanted it all.

“Are you sure, baby?” A glimpse of the Azriel you knew and loved shines through, always putting your needs above his own.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything, Azriel.”

The shadowsinger smiles, dipping down to give you a soft kiss before lining himself up towards your entrance. With his forehead pressed against yours, Azriel carefully slides into your pussy. Your mouth falls slack as you adjust to take in his length, gasping at his considerable size.

Azriel watches your face with rapt attention, brushing stray strands of your dark hair to the side while he fills you to the hilt. He nuzzles his nose against yours with endless patience even though his entire body was aching to move, to fuck into you until you were screaming his name.

“You’re so big, Az,” you groan as he holds your hips in place. “It feels like you’re splitting me apart.”

“I’ll be gentle, princess.”

You open your eyes, watching this male hovering above you. His golden brown skin is covered in a light coating of sweat, giving him an angelic glow and making his raven locks stick to his sharp cheekbones. You’ve waited too long for this. You didn’t want Azriel to hold anything back. You want him to unleash all of the pent up tension and show you how much he really wants you.

“Don’t, Azriel. Never lessen yourself for me,” you breathe, cupping his cheek. “I want all of you. Even the parts that you’re scared to let anyone else see. You and I, we’re one and the same. I know you. I see you. I understand you. You don’t ever have to hold back with me.”

Azriel growls, scarred hands gripping the wood so tightly that you wouldn’t be surprised if he broke the table in half.

“I fucking love you,” the shadowsinger declares.

You smile, leaning up to kiss him. “I fucking love you too, Azriel.”

Lightning meets shadow as your bodies intertwine, light and dark, day and night, a match and an opposition in every way, dancing while your very souls merged into one. Azriel was the beginning, middle, and end.

You cling onto him for dear life while his strokes awaken the thrumming power in your veins. The shadowsinger’s hips snap to yours at a relentless pace, unleashing all of himself and holding nothing back.

“Fuck, Az. Right there,” you whine as Azriel’s tip hits the sensitive spot that threatens to make you come undone. He ruts his hips into yours and you cry out at how good it feels, how right it was to have him filling you over and over again. “Gods, don’t stop baby.”

Azriel snarls, kissing you deeply as your lips meet with a clash of teeth and tongue, devouring one another like you were trying to crawl into each other’s skin just to feel the closeness you were both craving.

“So close,” Azriel moans into your mouth. His strokes cause your legs to shake as the pressure builds up in your lower abdomen. “You’re so wet and tight. I could stay buried in you for hours, princess. But I know you want to cum.”

You whimper as his shadows find your clit and nipples, the cold whisps heightening the pleasure and making you feel overstimulated. The sensuous touch is dark and erotic, a seductive caress over your body. Azriel groans when the scent of your arousal wafts up to him, utterly turned on by the fact that you’re unraveling with the help of his shadows.

“Let go baby, I’ve got you.”

As if on command, the most intense orgasm racks through your body. Lightning wreaths through your wings and Azriel’s own peak reaches soon after. He swiftly pulls out of you with the intention to spill his seed onto your stomach, but you grip his hips and pump his cock into your mouth, swallowing every drop of his cum while you look up at him through your lashes.

The curses that fall from his lips is the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard. Azriel’s hazel eyes glow golden, biting his lip at the absolutely filthy act of you getting on your knees and sucking him off like he was your lifeline. He pulls you up to his chest, not hesitating to kiss you even though his taste lingers in your mouth.

“I didn’t want you to have all the fun,” you say with a wink.

Azriel chuckles. “Gods, you’re going to be the death of me.”

“Too bad. You’re stuck with me now.”

The shadowsinger wraps you in his arms, pressing a gentle kiss on your temple. “I wouldn’t have it any other way, princess.”

By the time Rhys and Feyre returned, you and Azriel had fallen asleep under the stars in your balcony. After cleaning up the mess that you made in the kitchen, you retired to your bedchambers and took a long bath which ended in slow, gentle sex where you explored one another’s bodies without any rush. Having satisfied the initial tension during your kitchen escapade, it was easier to exercise patience instead of clawing at one another out of need.

Needless to say, the eventful night left both of you knackered, but neither one wanted to sleep for fear of missing a single second of this magical shift in your relationship. You spent the rest of the night talking about anything and everything with you cuddled into Azriel’s arms like it was your own personal safe haven.

That’s how your brother and sister-in-law found you, nuzzled into Azriel’s neck with his wings curved protectively around you. The impact of Rhys and Feyre’s landing stirs you from your sleep and you blink drowsily into the twilight.

“I’m surprised to see that the House is still standing,” Rhys states sarcastically. “Anything interesting happen while we were gone?”

You share a look with Azriel and bite back a laugh. Rhysand furrows his brows while Feyre surveyed you then Azriel, then you again. Her eyes widen with realization.

“What is it, Feyre darling?” The High Lord looks utterly confused. His gaze darts down to Azriel’s boots. “Why is there cake on your shoes, Az? And why does it smell like-“ Rhys blanches as Feyre grips his shoulder.

“For fuck’s sake!” Your older brother exclaims. “You were supposed to be keeping an eye on her, Az.”

“I’m sure his gaze never left hers this whole night,” Feyre says with an amused smirk.

You cross your arms. “That’s not helping, sissy.”

Your sister-in-law holds her hands up. Azriel’s wing curves around your shoulder like a shield and Rhys instantly clocks the gesture.

“Don’t blame her. I’m the one who started it.”

A blatant lie. One that your brother clearly sees right through, but his face softens as the silence stretches and you knew then that the two males were having a silent conversation, mind to mind. Whatever Azriel says to him seems to lessen the blow.

“I’m not thrilled at the prospect of my sister dating my best friend, but I can’t say it’s the worst thing in the world,” Rhys concedes. Stars wink into existence within his violet gaze as he levels an intimidating stare at Azriel. “I’m sure I don’t have to remind you of what will happen if you hurt my baby sister.”

You roll your eyes. Despite the fact that you were five centuries old, Rhysand would never stop seeing you as his bratty baby sister.

“I know, Rhys. You’ll skin me alive and hang me by my wings.”

The High Lord smirks. “I doubt it would even get that far, Az. She’ll fry you from the inside out if you ever step out of line and Feyre and I will deal with what’s left.”

“My mate and his flair for the dramatic,” Feyre says with an eye roll. She clasps you and Azriel’s hands into her own, squeezing giddily. “I, for one, am happy that this is finally happening. I’ve been rooting for you two since day one.“

Rhys scoffs. “Whose team are you on, Feyre darling?”

“Sissy’s, obviously,” she responds as she winks at you. “Now come Rhys, let’s leave the lovebirds alone.”

You watch in amusement as Feyre herds Rhys towards the open air, but not before your brother sends you a reprimand through your mental shield that you respond to by sticking out your tongue. Azriel chuckles while you watch the High Lord and Lady fly away.

“What did you say to Rhys?”

Azriel pulls you to his chest and kisses your hair. “I told him how much I love you. I promised to protect you, watch over you, and put your happiness above my own. Always.”

“What did my dear brother have to say about that?”

He only grins. “Rhys said he knows, because he’s witnessed me do it for nearly five centuries.”

That brought a smile to your face. “Did he have to be that dramatic about it?”

Azriel cradles you in his arms, smirking slightly. “No, but I’m afraid it runs in the family, princess.”

“You’re lucky I like you, Az.”

“You love me.” You giggle, nodding in agreement as he kisses your nose. “And I love you.”

“Love you too, my partner in crime.”

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a-jar-of-beetles · 18 days

Text

kristen thoughts plus divine musings

I really want to write out my theory and speculations about last episode but Kristen C. Applebee's won't stop taking up all my brain space so I might as well share my ramblings.

First off it was a really interesting choice to reach out to her parents she could have easily settled for checking in with Bucky to see how he and their other siblings were doing, but decided to talk to her parents anyway which besides being brave also shows a maturity that often alludes Kristen (not that ignoring her parents for the rest of her life is immature but that's not the point I'm making).

Although I wish she could have interacted more with her brothers her conversation with her parents was not as confrontational as I would have expected I for sure thought that Kristen would have bitten back at the "Helio might not have let that happen" comment when Kristen the literal chosen one of Helio has died multiple times.

Another thing that stuck out to me was the way Mac and Donna talked about Galicaea, they acted like she was just some random goddess but in Elysium Galicaea refers to Sol as her brother which is a weird thing for Kristen's parents to ignore so is the fact that Sol and Galicaea are siblings something that not common knowledge? Could it just be something that's forbidden or just taboo to talk about? Mac and Donna were also pretty judgemental about elves when they were first introduced so maybe it has something to do with that?

So that got me thinking about how Cassandra is mostly referred to as Galicaea's sister instead of Sol's while it could just be that they're both associated with night and that they both had elven followers but it made me wonder what type of relationship they had. Were they just never close in Elysium he never mentioned Cassandra but that could have just been because Kristen didn't ask him about her the only real thing we know about Sol is that he obviously approved of Ankarna and Cassandra otherwise he wouldn't have officiated their wedding.

Which brought me back to how Sol followers in the modern/evangelist church of Sol don't seem to actually know or care about what Sol actually represents/represented, which made me think about the inverse. Does Sol even truly know what's going on with his followers? Because of devil's nectar we know Gods can be purposely deceived but we also know that the nectar works by deceiving yourself first so if you truly believe something and tell your God the same they will believe it too because in Spyre the gods aren't omniscient, we've literally seen it with Galicaea who thought that Cassandra erasing her old name was her own idea and the Nightmare King killed her even when there was evidence to the contrary. Do you think her clerics did it on purpose? Whether their words were Honeyed or delusional Galicaea was still lied to. Galicaea who loved her sister, who would destroy anyone that would dare hurt her baby sister, who bared her fangs at the mention of doubt and only spoke of conviction and clarity which belonged to her fallen sister in law.

Do you think that after Cassandra died Ankarna wasn't the only one who got corrupted? Do you think that with out someone to champion doubt and hold peoples hand through the unknown, people stopped questioning the words of their preachers, paladins and clerics? because doubt became hard to speak about was it just ignored and swallowed? Was it the avoidance of doubt that made the followers of Sol demonize Ankarna? Because without Cassandra Ankarna was no longer a part of their family? Sol and Galicaea did they care? How did they when they lost the last part of Cassandra besides themselves? Were they sad?angry? relived? upset? apathetic? Did they even notice it happen at all?

Maybe I've just been thinking too much

IDK

#fantasy high #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #kristen applebees #donna applebees #mac applebees #Helio #Sol #Galicaea #ankarna #cassandra #ramblings #dawn of justice

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thecleverqueer · 8 months

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Okay. Well. Since the writers and actors are unable to say it because of the strike, and because Ashley Eckstein probably isn’t a 100% on how this was all written so she can’t say it (and clearly, I’m not either, but I have a damned good idea), I’m going to say it (what Ashley would say):

“Be patient with Ahsoka.”

Yes, she’s older. No, she’s not going to be “snips”. She’s not going to act like the person you knew before in The Clone Wars (she was forged there), but by the end of her series, she’s going to be more like the character you know and love.

I’m going to give this to you all for free:

Ahsoka is broken, like, very broken at this point in her series. She’s stoic. She’s crossing her arms, but she’s doing that so that she doesn’t literally come undone. She’s holding herself together, but she’s basically doing so by a frayed thread.

Ahsoka has been through a lot.

She was a child soldier that always felt she had something to prove, and while acting confident, in reality, she was overcompensating to hide her imposter syndrome. Then, the temple bombing… the people she loved the most turned their backs on her for political reasons. Once worse, a person she loved and trusted framed her for said bombing. Her heart was shattered into a million pieces when Barriss was revealed to be the culprit. Ahsoka wanted nothing more than to be a Jedi, but she couldn’t stay. She had to leave. Realizing she couldn’t run from what she was (“Ahsoka is Jedi”), she returned to fight in the Siege of Mandalore only to be betrayed again by her brothers in arms as they executed Order 66. The family she left behind was slaughtered. Her brothers in arms died in large part due to the fact that she let Maul go. Her sister-in-law passed away with a broken heart. Her brother lost. Ahsoka went into hiding. She spent a decade and a half in solitude as a spy fighting in the rebellion, and just as she began opening herself up again to her people, she found out that her brother was at least partially responsible for the genocide of the Jedi, the fall of the Republic and rise of the Empire. It struck her so hard that she passed out. She spent nearly a year trying to prove herself wrong, only to face off with him in the Temple on Malachor. Clearly riddled with an insurmountable amount of guilt, she was willing to sacrifice herself as a means to an end only to get ripped through a time portal. Returning to her own time, Ahsoka faced an unseen trial on Malachor that further tormented her.

Then, Ahsoka returned to Lothal (likely to find Ezra, but instead found Sabine… I would imagine that they attempted to look for Ezra and failed… this is the likely reason Ahsoka was missing from the Original Trilogy action). She began training Sabine and something went sideways. Then, Ahsoka ends up back in solitude, alone…fighting the good fight, not facing her trauma.

I’ll stop now, and say that Sabine is not the only one who is plagued with nightmares. Ahsoka felt what Sabine was going through in that hospital bed on a personal level.

And, so, what do we have to look forward to? If we end up with an Ahsoka the White (which is inevitable), Ahsoka’s Balrog is going to be her guilt. It’s going to be the shadow that Anakin Skywalker has cast upon her very being. It is her fear of becoming him. It is her unrelenting torment of leaving him behind, and somehow feeling responsible for his downfall. And, she’ll face it. It’s coming. Be patient.

#star wars #ahsoka tano #the clone wars #ahsoka series #i don’t know why i feel so compelled to defend this show and ahsoka #and i may end up regretting it #i just feel like the ahsoka whisperer sometimes #i think i know where filoni is headed #but if i don’t maybe he should just let me write ahsoka from now on #because my headcanon is better

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carefulfears · 9 months

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top ten mulder moments <3

DREAM ASSIGNMENT, UNHINGING MY JAW, ETC. buckle up babes!

1/ oubliette

all of oubliette really but there’s this one moment where he’s in the police station and he’s watching the video of lucy when she was 13 after escaping her kidnapper and she’s writhing around on the floor screaming and she can barely speak full sentences and she’s afraid of the light. and in the present day, she’s an addict living in a halfway house with convictions for drug possession and prostitution.

and he’s watching this tape and scully comes in and he says “it’s amazing she’s gotten anywhere in life” and scully says “by most yardsticks, she hasn’t.”

she has, though. she’s alive and she’s trying and she’s clean and passing her drug tests and she has a job. and that’s how he sees her, and that’s how he treats her throughout the episode. he tells her that she’s “the strong one” and he asks for her help and her opinion, he tells her that he just wants to know what she’s going through. he defends her to law enforcement and believes her when everyone else thinks she’s an accomplice. he weeps over her body when she dies, grieves the loss of her life.

it would be easy for him, as someone whose sister was kidnapped at the same age lucy was, to see her as a nightmare. she’s struggling and she’s traumatized and she’s an addict and a felon. but he doesn’t, he views her as hopeful, and you can tell that he respects her. he views her as having gotten somewhere in life, just because she’s still alive. and that more than anything really means a lot to me.

2/ paper hearts

in paper hearts when they find the 15th victim’s body and they think it’s samantha. and he’s standing there over it, shaking, looking down at what might be his baby sister’s corpse. what might be the end of the road.

and it might all be over, in this moment. he might not be able to search anymore, to hope anymore, to do the only thing he’s ever done every day for 24 years anymore.

and you just feel the crushing weight of it all, and then scully comes in with the lab results and says that it isn’t her. and he just buckles for a moment and takes a breath.

before standing up and saying, “it’s somebody though.”

it’s such a testament to his character to me, that he can’t sit in that relief for even a minute. it might not be his baby sister, but it’s somebody, and he grieves for them.

(not “somebody’s sister/daughter,” but somebody)

3/ one breath

the shot of him crying on the floor of his ransacked apartment.

he was offered a choice between staying there, waiting to see the bad guys, finding the only thing he’s ever wanted, the answers…and going to sit by scully’s hospital bed, when it might be the end.

and he left that apartment and held her hand.

as moving as that scene is, it’s the aftermath that always gets me. it’s the consequences. it’s the price that you pay for choosing to stay soft, the way that mr. x looks at him in this same episode and tells him that he’ll never win, he doesn’t have the heart.

so he walks away from the battle and comes back to the wreckage, and all he can do is sit down on the floor and weep.

(also if i think even a little about him giving scully the superstars of the super bowl tape, i’ll literally make myself ill crying)

4/ sein und zeit

when, after spending the entire episode obsessively insisting to everyone who will listen that the missing little girl is “not dead,” he says that they should just go home.

that they are not going to find those people’s daughter alive, that he is too close to this case to make a sound judgement, and that he wants to take some time away from work.

seven years after scully chased him into the street and yelled for him to “stop running after” samantha, and a day after she followed him into a hallway to tell him to not go looking for something he doesn’t want to find, the person whose “relentlessness” has kept him searching for nearly 30 years, just wants to go home.

he’s depended for so many years on the delusion, on the hope, on the belief that every child to go missing from their home is “not dead.” and now he stares at the ground in front of two people who love him, and admits to being wrong. to needing a break.

it’s one of the saddest moments of the series to me, but there is such an acceptance in admitting defeat, and it’s a subtle precursor to his decision in the following episode that he’s ready to know the truth about what happened to samantha. the delusion isn’t helping anyone. not him, not samantha, not this missing little girl. and it’s devastating and freeing at the same time.

5/ je souhaite

his genie wish. i have the softest spot in my heart for je souhaite mulder okay!! this is the mulder that called the jersey devil “beautiful” and ran through the woods to try to save it. the mulder that couldn’t bear to add to the soul eater monster’s suffering, even when it would’ve saved his own life.

i love that the first thing he does is ask the genie what she would wish for, just because he wants to know. and you can see how much 500 years of being a slave to people’s selfish desires has weighed on her, in the way she tells him that she would just want her days to be her own. to sit and have a cup of coffee.

i love that he tries to win at the genie wish, to save the world. tries to construct the perfect wording and all-encompassing fool-proof plan. throws around words like ending “tyranny.” and in the end, just deletes it all, and wishes for the genie to be free. that ending shot of her, finally her own person for the first time in 500 years, sitting having a cup of coffee, is one of my favorite moments of the series.

i love the lesson in this episode too, for someone who spends his whole life trying to make up for the fact that he lived when his sister didn’t, that he doesn’t have to figure out how to save the entire world. he can call his best friend and sit on his couch and watch caddyshack. but he asks the genie what she would wish for, because he genuinely cares, and he chooses to use his wish to give it to her, because he can do that.

6/ pilot

these tags: “this man is overflowing with reverent tenderness.”

the Moment™️ in his motel room…this is when you can see it. this is when both scully and the audience understand something. this is when it’s all over.

they’ve both been kind of concealing so much, behind sarcasm or professionalism. they really like each other. they want to trust each other. but she was sent to spy on him, to debunk him, and neither of them have any reason to believe it’ll be more than that.

when the power goes out and scully feels the marks on her back, she is just so scared. she is so young, and this is her first job, and she’s becoming exposed to things that she had never considered. when she walks into mulder’s motel room in only her robe, and then drops it, she’s afraid, and also acutely aware of her own vulnerability.

the way the camera hangs on his face (he’s the focus, not her exposure, what is he seeing?), in the candlelight, as she exposes her body to him and he just checks to make sure she’s okay.

what he’s seeing is her vulnerability, and he responds by both sheltering and matching it; he wraps her up and gives her the bed, sits below her on the floor. he tells her about sam. he tells her about what “matters” to him. and it isn’t something that he tells people, but anxiously walking mostly-naked into the room of your new assignment isn’t something that she does either, and he understands that.

it’s 2 episodes later in squeeze when scully makes her decision, she’s “on the side of the victim,” on the side of the vulnerable. but it’s a motel room in bellefleur where she learns what that side is, where that work is being done.

(related, conduit: the way that he shuts scully's concerns about him down, then validates them quietly, when they're alone. tells her what his life actually is. that it's "walking into that room," every day, feeling like maybe one day he'll open his eyes and his sister would be there. you really get the sense that he's never told anyone that before, but that it's something he turns over in his mind, something he's always aware of. he's saying: you're right, this is what i do, but i don't know how to do anything different. how am i meant to do anything different? it has always been this way. and it's the only thing that you need to hear him say to really get it. it's the only thing that scully needed to hear him say. this is the most vulnerable revelation that he ever makes, a month into their partnership. she never forgets it.)

7/ anasazi

just a little moment that i think about a lot is the way that after mulder sees his dad in colony and tries to hug him, and gets cut off with a handshake, the next time that he sees bill, in anasazi, he reaches out to shake his hand.

he notices everything, he internalizes everything, he only wants to give what he understands as wanted from him.

he knows that his dad does not want to hug him, and he still reaches to him first, offers that connection that bill is comfortable with.

(it always makes me think of the first time he met jackson. the way that the first thing he did after “my name is mulder, i’m your father. i know it must seem strange to you.” was hug him… “became a father while i was still a son,” or whatever the national said.)

8/ emily

you guys. you guys 🥺. this whole episode just really gets me so bad. the way emily is “shy” and doesn’t speak or really look at anyone, and the only time we see her smile is when mulder makes her laugh, as soon as she met him. him yelling at the doctor (i love that the show, through mulder, actually says the term “medical rapists.” like yes let’s call it what it fucking is!) and saying he wants everything that could help her. when emily's sick, and mulder instantly picks her up to hold her.

but the moment to me, the one that stays with me, is the very end. it's the funeral. it's when all is said and done. and scully asks...who could do this? who could bring a life into this world whose only purpose is to die? and mulder answers, "i don't know. but that you found her, and had a chance to love her...maybe she was meant for that too."

he looks at a person who was created to be used for other's gain, literally manufactured intentionally to suffer and then die, and he believes...maybe that's not all that she was meant for. maybe she was still meant to be known, to be found, to be loved. and they did love her.

(the way he shows up late to the funeral, but scully knows he's coming to get her, tells her mom she's going to ride back with him. the way he turns away from the casket, never able to look loss in the eye, but turns back so scully isn't in it alone. the way he brings flowers, like he brought flowers to the hospital when scully was diagnosed, like he stopped to bring flowers to missy's grave.)

9/ beyond the sea + lazarus

my father is dead (long live my father!)

y’all ever think about how sparingly and intentionally mulder says “dana”? y’all ever think about how she’d only ever been “scully,” to him, until “how are you, dana?” the day of her father’s funeral? the way she looked up at him, as he gently touched her cheek.

the first thing that scully does after her father dies, is tell mulder that she believes in a psychic. (“i thought that you would be pleased that i opened myself to extreme possibilities”).

the first thing that mulder does is sit down, lower himself beneath her, (he has done this since the motel room in bellefleur, the day they met), and look up to her to ask: “does this have to do with your father? you said that he didn't approve of you becoming an FBI agent. now, if being on the job now makes you feel guilty or uncomfortable or uneasy, i think you should back away. because if it’s clouding your judgment, you’re putting yourself in danger.”

(he is always listening, he is always more aware than people think. he perceives her attempts to “please” him as dangerous, or uncomfortable for her. encourages her to step back.)

when she starts to cry and walks across the room, she’s dana again. she’s not her father’s “starbuck,” she’s not mulder’s “scully.”

“dana…open yourself up to extreme possibilities, only when they’re the truth.”

in lazarus, it’s only 2 episodes later (2 episodes after “i’m afraid to believe”) when jack willis dies. (“along the way, there are other fathers.”)

mulder spent that whole fucking episode doing his lil tricks and tips and pulling out his lil experts trying to convince her that jack had been body-swapped, including the story about watches stopping at time of death. when jack dies, and all that’s left is the watch she had given him, stopped at the same time as his heart, she looks up to mulder for answers so softly.

and his response: “it means…it means whatever you want it to mean. goodnight.”

he spends his life begging for belief, but never at the cost of her integrity, her peace. he cannot be “pleased” by a forgoing of self, a forgoing of what she’s ready for.

(looking at this now, it also reminds me of irresistible, and the way that he told her that it’s understandable to be upset, to be affected. “i’ve seen agents with 20 years fall apart on cases like this.” it’s not because she’s young, it’s not because she’s inexperienced, it’s not because she’s traumatized. it’s because she’s human. and it’s good, it’s right.)

10/ redux ii

my favorite moment of this episode is when scully sees mulder through the window of her hospital room for the first time, and he plasters that smile on his face, comes in to sit on the bed and hold her hand and kiss her cheek. and she keeps trying to ask him about the conspiracy, about what happened at the pentagon, about who the inside man at the FBI is, and he just keeps quietly telling her that he's not there to talk about that. and she keeps pushing questions until he leans in to her and smiles and says... "hey, scully, how 'bout those yankees?"

hey, scully, it's not about that. for as many years as he's gone doing nothing but obsessing over conspiracies to anyone who will listen, he isn't there to talk about conspiracies. he's there to hold her hand, to keep that smile on his face so maybe she won't worry, to break down by her bedside as soon as she's asleep. he just wants to spend time with her. in reduxes, they aren't ahab and starbuck. they aren't charging forward or dutifully shepherding on. they're buckling in hallways. they're clinging to a hand through tears.

there is just no room: for their roles, for their pretenses, in the end. in this moment, he isn't the "mad captain" who cares about nothing more than the quest. he's the man who walked away from the fight so that he could sit next to her, who gave up all of his answers so that she could see her sister one last time. he's the man who "refused to believe" that she was dying, but still celebrated her birthday that year for the first time ever, just so that she would have it. and in that hospital room, at the end, through teary eyes and shaky smiles, it just isn't about anything bigger. she doesn't have to die as dutiful to the cause, for him to be there with her.

(the final shot of this episode is one of my favorites too. when scully is cured, she is going to live, her family is in her room celebrating with her, and mulder is crying alone in the hall.

these tags: "all his open love and loneliness and numbness and fear of loss. he's such a gentle man. he kills but he is gentle in his heart. he takes so many beatings and he listens quietly and has no shame. it's hard for him to play the games men play. this ending. he just found out scully is going to live. and everyone else is in there with her. and he has to sit outside. and it all hits him in one go. his sister. his parents. scully. his wasted years. his stupidity and arrogance. how many times has this happened to one of us. you grit your teeth and get through unimaginable difficulty. and then when it's all over you can't celebrate. it hits you on your own in a terrible way."

i always think of that. i always think of superstars of the superbowl. i always think of how ill-equipped and in-adequate we are, when it comes down to it, to deal with grief and trauma and loss. how "we bury our dead alive." and in the end it's "the best news" he ever could've heard, and that steady smile is reduced to sobs.)

honorable mention from paper hearts: i fear that i simply have to talk about him shooting roche in the head...did everybody see him shoot roche in the head? i thought him shooting roche in the head was lovely. you can watch it tear him apart, leading up to the moment. roche sitting in front of him, taunting him. how sure are you? you'll never know without me. but ultimately, he looks over at caitlyn, and he can't risk it. he had told caitlyn, "my name is fox, i'm gonna take you home." and then he did, even when ensuring she was found safe and well, meant sacrificing everything he'd been looking for.

the transition from that moment on the bus (roche's blood on the windows, caitlyn's screams, mulder's gun) to the walls of the basement office...the way the camera slowly pans over the UFO articles. the "i want to believe." the mysteries. all of that wishful thinking (as roche had said earlier: "it's like you think your world will be okay as long as you can believe in like...flying saucers") contrasted to the flesh and blood of the evil he's trying to escape. and, in the end, all there is left is one heart in front of him. one last victim that he'll never know the truth about, because he wasn't willing to risk the price paid for answers.

(and then scully says...but we will find her. how? "i don't know. but i do know you.")

honorable mention from oubliette: my top 2 episodes do be my top 2 episodes but there are few moments in this series that just make my heart sink to my stomach more than the image of mulder crying over lucy's body...that triptych line: "mulder who still grimaced at cadavers and cried over the bodies of dead women where most men she knew couldn't muster the wherewithal to appear disturbed."

lightning round appreciation for my favorite little tiny moments we don't talk about enough: casually giving his hotel key to the unhoused man in the jersey devil; holding kevin and telling him he knows he just wants his sister back in conduit; helping roland pick out a shirt to wear ("i think this one would look stylin' today, what do you think?") in roland; going back in for the kids even though he's afraid/had failed before, in fire; marty saying she "just knew" he would be at her sentencing, even though she couldn't see him, in mind's eye; taking scully to the liberty bell, after she complained about wanting a life outside of work, in shadows; when cassandra told him that reading news stories about him saved her life, because no one would ever believe her, until she found out about him, in patient x; telling skinner to get marita off the stand, "no. let her go," even though her testimony was the only thing that could save him, in the truth; telling off the sheriff in conduit who said it was "only a matter of time" before "something bad" happened to ruby because she "was no prom queen"; telling scully that he doesn't care if she comes with him or not, but he's not giving up on ruby "until they find a body."

#and also all of the rest of them. all of the rest of the things that he did in the franchise.#trish you're sickkk for inviting this madness but thank you bc i loved doing this even tho #i stared at it for 2 days as though i were sisyphus staring at his boulder #asks #sorry this is sooo much i went all out bc when else am i gonna have an excuse to gab appreciatively like this :)#but this is kinda my magnum opus of weepy apologia #i tried to pick a variety of like my Favorite favorite + ones that i think are central to his character

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stargirlfeyre · 8 months

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“Feyre’s not compassionate”

She held the hand of a Fae who had just gotten his wings torn off even though she was raised to fear and hate them.

She gave away her own jewelry to a Fae who was struggling to pay the tithe even though she knew it went against her fiancé’s laws.

Even though she was arguably suffering the most in the cabin she put that and how her sisters treated her aside and forgave them because of how much they suffered in the cabin. Even though she was the one doing most of the labor and constantly being degraded and isolated, she looked past it because her sisters were hurting.

She comforts Rhys after his Nightmare even though at the time she still “hated” him.

She sympathizes with Mor for how she was brought up in a close minded and abusive family. Before even meeting Mor’s family, she dislikes them because of what they did to their daughter.

She allowed her sisters back into her life because she understood that even though they spent years hurting her, it was only a coping mechanism for their own trauma and a result of their environment.

It’s weird when people say Feyre isn’t compassionate when her compassion is the only thing keeping the clothes on your favs’ backs. If she was the unsympathetic bitch y’all love to claim she is then she would have left Nesta and Elain to fend for themselves after they turned Fae. She would have let Nesta rot in her apartment and drink herself to death. She would have left Lucien in the Spring Court to deal with Hybern and Tamlin. Her being loving and compassionate is literally the only reason why your favorite characters are still standing. Say thank you.

#feyre archeron #feyre supremacy #complaining about people mischaracterizing her as you mischaracterize her #morrigan #nesta archeron #elain archeron #rhysand #pro feyre

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majorbaby · 11 months

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i was going to make a video compilation but actually i think that would give MASH too much credit or make it seem like I really think this show did generally well by race and racism, plus I can't go back and edit a video if I change my mind at any point. so here's my text-based list of race moments that actually land for me, whether intentional or based on my personal interpretation.

s01e05 The Moose - which is mostly a white saviour episode but actually does do a few things right:

this moment of solidarity between Oliver and Young-Hi

in response to the Swamp Rats' indignation that anyone would sell their child into servitude, Ho-Jon explains very frankly "Well some of the locals sell their kids for money Hawkeye, they have no other means." - not to say that it's right that Young-Hi's parents did that to her, but like, they didn't sell her to get rich, they did it because they're likely living in poverty and they have other younger children to support

Young-Hi cheekily explaining in her letter to Hawkeye "heehee the nuns have no idea I'm Buddhist" she's taking them for a ride, it's great

and Young-Hi's "I am also very beautiful!"

s02e15 Officers Only

Hawkeye introducing a black enlisted man as his brother-in-law - soooo very recently, like I argued this at the mic at my last convention, we've started to rethink the use of"brother" and "sister" to refer to your union comrades has start. if your boss caught you organizing with a friend after work, you would say "oh that's just my brother/sister". arguments against this are gaining traction now because of growing awareness of non-binary people but tbh it should have never been a thing it only protects white people who can reasonably pass as siblings, if you're black or brown you're SOL (as you usually were anyway). so anyway. this is a long ass paragraph just to say that Hawkeye saying " brother-in-law" in the union episode of MASH makes me feel ways. someone was thinking about intersectionality way back then.

s02e19 The Chosen People

Sam Pak in OR at the beginning of the episode, thanking America for saving Korea "from the bottom of our bomb craters." and also just generally making jokes that actually land about the Korean language because he's the one making them, "Pish-posh? That's my mother's family name"

tbh Sam walking around like he owns the base is pretty great in general

s05e08 Dear Sigmund

Klinger: Smaha! Smaha! Potter: [to Private Habib] What'd he say? Habib: He said "Smaha! Smaha!"

If it is Arabic it's funny because Potter assumes Habib will translate and he just repeats the words in Arabic because that is what Klinger literally said. If it is gibberish it's funny because Potter assumes its Arabic and Habib gives him the gibberish. This is one of my favourite gags in the whole show and fun fact also the moment I realized Jamie Farr must be a native speaker because his accent is so natural. It's pretty cool he got to flex that.

s05e11 Hawk's Nightmare

this is just me, but I love that Hawkeye describes the people of Crabapple Cove as never changing colour, always the same "off-white" - this was a time you almost never heard white people acknowledge their whiteness, except when speaking about racism. really struck me the first time i heard it. probably my favourite thing from Hawkeye re: race and it's not intentional. I definitely prefer it to his white saviourism

s06e08 In Love and War

the exchange between Kyungsoon and Hawkeye where the extent of his naiveté is put on display, "You're being awfully practical about this" "I thought you liked that about me [list of things she had to do for survival that Hawkeye initially admired in her but is now throwing in her face]"

episode ends in Hawkeye having to accept that sometimes love is irrelevant, the circumstances are what they are (the love was there and it didn't matter, but it was there) - this imo is the only episode of MASH that even begins to touch on the realities of being a Korean civilian in the war

s08e03 Guerilla My Dreams

the gang fails to save a woman from being taken away and she will likely die, as would've probably happened irl. sometimes being on a sitcom isn't enough to save you from your fate as a prisoner of war and it was good to be reminded of that for once. it's the white saviour trope averted.

s08e08 Private Finance

I can at least appreciate that this time when someone is explaining how all sides of the war are to blame for the scourge of war, it's a young Korean girl in her own words. rest of the episode is questionable but normally such a line would go to Hawkeye.

s08e15 Yessir that's Our Baby

the Korean official biting back when Hawkeye tries to accuse him (on behalf of the country) for not recognizing mixed-race babies as Korean, stating that neither does America recognize mixed-race babies with American fathers as Americans, unlike France and the UK

s11e01 Hey Look Me Over

this episode is textually about the very specific and not uncommon experience of being desexualized as a fat, Asian-American woman - it deserves a proper episode recap/analysis with that lens and I'm planning on take a stab at it if/when I ever get around to that ep in my rewatch. these stories were not being told in mainstream media until like, five years ago. there are some the hypersexualized or fetishized Asian woman in media and usually the movie/show/comic is doing that as a selling point rather than commentary. it's unfortunate we haven't progressed much since that moment 40 years ago.

[citation needed, cannot remember the name of the episode]

while admitted a Korean doctor tells Hawkeye he wishes things were different and that he could work alongside Hawkeye and BJ and Hawkeye asks with perfect American ignorance (paraphrase), "You'd want to do that?" and he responds, "You treat the enemy, why can't I?"

And finally, Soon-Lee and Klinger in GFA, a little bit in As Time Goes By. I started writing an essay on Klinger as the romantic lead of GFA but I think I'm going to try to make it a video essay so I can include clips from the show without having to make a bunch of gifs.

But in a nutshell, Klinger gets to do stuff in GFA that the often emasculated brown man still doesn't get to do much on television. As MASH progressed we did occasionally get to see Klinger take on a more serious role, Alan Alda has spoken on trying to do that for the character rather than rehash dramatic plotlines for Hawkeye or BJ who got plenty of their own.

Having Klinger represented that way gives audiences a chance to see him more three-dimensionally. As someone who is capable of romantic love, attraction, courage and someone who might be sexually desirable to others - in a less direct way than Kellye demands of Hawkeye in Hey Look Me Over. I think the lack of subtlety in Hey Look Me Over is great because there can be no question about what that episode is supposed to do and also because it drives home that Hawkeye is so blinded by his preconceived notions of what a "desirable woman" looks and sounds like that Kellye has to scream it in his face before he realizes what he's been doing. But it's also nice to have an example that's woven into the writing and cinematography.

Normally I don't like to add these kinds of disclaimers because I value open conversation but if you're rb'ing, please be mindful of your tags. I intentionally excluded a lot of the moments where I know I'm supposed to give this show an A+ for its progressivism when it has a white person demonstrating basic human decency. That bar is just too low for me.

#race on mash #re: mash

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funandexploring · 2 months

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- Ravina gave a wedding gift to Cassandra. "A Bridle of Frost, that she might command a team of fiery horses"

- Cassandra and Galicaea were traveling together (night and moon) side by side. Elven deities starting out with Cassandra having more Fey. Sol (sun) also traveled with them to the great mountains

- Written like it was a part of a saga. It's included but not the main point. The significance is that they were connected (low-key, Cassandra might not even be the connection. It could be her sister, and it just happened to be Cassandra's wedding)

- Murph thinks Cassandra marrying a giant? Siobhan thinking it was to one of the gods of the giants like Ravina?

- Cassandra, Goddess of Mystery and Doubt, can make other gods weak? Hit on her life because of this? Sister can't help her because of the rule about gods not helping other gods!

- Sidenote: In sophomore year, it was stated that mortals were convinced to no longer say Cassandra's name and took down her monuments and scriptures as if it would grant her more power as the Goddess of Mystery and Doubt. Someone on earth knew how to get rid of her. Mortal plot? Or a god possibly breaking the rules of influence? (If this, were/how were they penalized?)

- Sidenote: Was Cassandra technically a dead god as The Nightmare King? Or transformed into something else entirely? How did Kristen learn her name again? Cassandra introduced herself? Anyway, someone's pissed she's back!

- Obliviati Mori - The Law of Theothanitc Silience - when a god dies, you forget their name (Yes! is dead but everyone remembers Yes!) VERY SIGNIFICANT THAT THE GODS DO NOT FORGET THE DEAD GODS, only that they cannot remind mortals of a dead gods existence

- Sidenote: Lucy (possessed? A god herself?) had a way of knowing a true dead gods name and writing it down without breaking Obliviati Mori (or taking the penalty for it?) Did Lucy even write that document?? Or did someone do so in her name and she came back later like huh?? Change it back. Is this a prank lol Where is she??? Also, how did it not break the rule if someone at school had to read it to process her forms?? WHO was in that office that could possibly have read the name??

- You can break the above rule with penalties or find a way to work around it somehow

- Lydia and crew never even knew the gods name themselves

- Cassandra reacting to the red stars like "I thought you were dead?!"

- Emily thought that the Rat Grinders (or at least Ivy) are in on it because of how they reacted to Fig in disguise as Lucy

- some celestials and archfey are gods that decided to become something less faith-based (was Bakur once a god? Or strictly a creation of the dead god?)

- Shut the fuck up. Cassandra possibly marrying the embodiment of rage which combined with mystery and doubt could be too powerful so someone(s) started a campaign to kill them both!! Galicaea also being a goddess of the moon so in relation werewolves could have once had a connection?

- Riz saying Galicaea is growing at the same time as the dead god is somehow getting their powers back. Galicaea as the moon goddess where the moon is a reflection of the sun (isnt she married to Sol?) But the dead god has a 26 point red star symbol so could they not also have a connection to Galicaea? More worship for her through Tracker's movement means more power by proxy to the dead god? Also WHY is Tracker's girlfriend so keen on showing face on social media? One part because this is probably their first real relationship after the reveal of where we know her from. But also there's so much going on, so why would it not be suspicious that she literally put Tracker on a deadline??

- I don't get Kristen's theory that the dead god is in Lydia's chest because how did they do what they did at the mall without leaving Lydia? Fig's dad was stuck in a gem and he could only do things through influence as a warlock's patron

#d20 #fantasy high junior year #d20 spoilers #spoilers #me

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quite-right-too · 3 months

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Top five speeches from the Tennant era ?

1. The Satan Pit

But then you're clever enough to use this whole system against me. If I destroy this planet, I destroy the gravity field. The rocket. The rocket loses protection and falls into the black hole. I have to sacrifice Rose. So, that's the trap. Or the test, or the final judgment, I don't know. But if I kill you, I kill her. Except that implies in this big grand scheme of Gods and Devils that she's just a victim. But I've seen a lot of this universe. I've seen fake gods and bad gods and demi-gods and would-be gods, and out of all that, out of that whole pantheon, if I believe in one thing, just one thing, I believe in her.

2. The Christmas Invasion

I don't know! See, there's the thing. I'm the Doctor, but beyond that, I just don't know. I literally do not know who I am. It's all untested. Am I funny? Am I sarcastic? Sexy? Right old misery? Life and soul? Right handed? Left handed? A gambler? A fighter? A coward? A traitor? A liar? A nervous wreck? I mean, judging by the evidence, I've certainly got a gob. And how am I going to react when I see this, a great big threatening button. A great big threatening button which must not be pressed under any circumstances, am I right? Let me guess. It's some sort of control matrix, hmm? Hold on, what's feeding it? And what've we got here? Blood? Yeah, definitely blood. Human blood. A Positive, with just a dash of iron. Ah, but that means blood control. Blood control! Oh, I haven't seen blood control for years. You're controlling all the A Positives. Which leaves us with a great big stinking problem. Because I really don't know who I am. I don't know when to stop. So if I see a great big threatening button which should never, ever, ever be pressed, then I just want to do this.

3. The Family of Blood

He never raised his voice. That was the worst thing. The fury of the Time Lord. And then we discovered why. Why this Doctor, who had fought with gods and demons, why he'd run away from us and hidden. He was being kind. He wrapped my father in unbreakable chains, forged in the heart of a dwarf star. He tricked my mother into the event horizon of a collapsing galaxy to be imprisoned there forever. He still visits my little sister once a year every year. I wonder if one day he might forgive her, but there she is. Can you see? He trapped her inside a mirror, every mirror. If ever you look at your reflection and see something move behind you, just for a second, that's her. That's always her. As for me, I was suspended in time. And the Doctor put me to work standing over the fields of England, as their protector. We wanted to live forever, so the Doctor made sure that we did.

4. The End of Time (Pt. 2)

You weren't there in the final days of the War. You never saw what was born. But if the Timelock's broken, then everything's coming through. Not just the Daleks, but the Skaro Degradations, the Horde of Travesties, the Nightmare Child, the Could-have-been King with his army of Meanwhiles and Never-weres. The War turned into hell. And that's what you've opened, right above the Earth. Hell is descending.

5. The Waters of Mars

Yes, because there are laws. There are Laws of Time. Once upon a time there were people in charge of those laws, but they died. They all died. Do you know who that leaves? Me! It's taken me all these years to realise the Laws of Time are mine, and they will obey me!

#thnks fr th asks #hey nonny nonny #my post #tenth doctor #doctor who #david tennant #rose tyler

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nikethestatue · 1 year

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The more I think about ACOSF, the more I am kind of bothered by the way Azriel has been treated throughout that book. I have no idea if this was intentional on SJM’s part, or not, and I suspect not, but throughout ACOSF, he’s been kind of treated like crap by everyone around him.

You have Amren, Feyre and Rhys make a decision to invade his living space, and place Nesta there.

There is no mention of him being consulted prior to see if this is okay with him. Granted, HoW is Rhys’s, but Azriel does live there. Both Nesta and Cassian are volatile and Nesta could be quite unpleasant as we know. Yet he was basically forced to live in his house, while dealing with that situation. Not only their sex and sex juices permeating everything, but also, their verbal sparring and fights. He literally has no fucking peace, even when he comes home. Not to mention that he has to deal with Cauldron-induced violent nightmares that she experienced.

Despite being the only person with a job, it seems, he is roped into training the priestesses, a role he accepts and performs well.

We have the whole episode with Nesta lusting after him without shame and wanting him to be part of a threesome with her and his brother/friend. He never showed even a glimmer of interest in Nesta sexually, yet we get the whole gang bang thought process from her, thinking of him like a piece of meat with a cock. Yet HE is the one being called an incel, because he wants to kiss Elain.

Lucien keeps getting invited to all kinds of celebrations--he was there at Starfall, and at Solstice. Don’t think it was Elain who was insisting that Lucien come. Yet again, Azriel is forcing himself to act ‘normal’ and attend Rhys’s parties, because it makes Rhys happy. Not Azriel.

Furthermore, Azriel is forcibly ordered to stay away from a woman that he likes and finds attractive, and whom he’s desired for at least a year. By a person who stole his own woman from her fiance. And why? To appease Lucien of all people.

He is forced to go against his oath to his High Lady by his High Lord and keep a secret from her.

He is dragged into making decisions about Nesta, her powers and the weapons that she’s made--which again, considering that she lives with him now, and is basically his sister-in-law, is at best, unethical.

Cassian is given full freedom to deal with his little romantic problems, and basically does nothing in his spare time. Azriel is spying, torturing, training, doing recon, and going to Oorid because he obviously has nothing else to do.

Is the man loses his shit in the next book, it’s totally justifiable.

#pro azriel

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callsigndragon · 1 year

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Tasting the Ashes | Ch. 12: Not a hero ✍️📲

Word count: 1.1k

Warnings: Roos and Ash being cuties, mentions of Ash's accident, mentions of death, allusions of not wanting to be alive (just 1), Gina is now a warning of her own...

Important: This story is a sequel of Seeing Red, and there’s a lot of things you’ll miss if you don’t read that series first. Check Seeing Red! Masterlist on pinned.

I don’t tag people, follow @meigalibrary for notifications!

First, let me apologize for not being there for you for thirty years.

That was the first sentence Maverick said to you when you went to his house. Bradley went with you, because Jake had to go to work and Red was taking care of Liam, he offered to drive you to Mav’s.

He also needed to talk to him, either way. He’s the father.

It was a bit awkward at first, sitting in front of a guy who used to hook up with your mother. But he wasn’t a bad guy like you imagined. He is a very good man who continually apologized for not being part of your life. You know that if he had known about your existence, he would have been there.

And you think that maybe, with his help, you wouldn’t be in this mess. Maybe you wouldn’t even be pregnant. Or maybe you’d have met Rooster before, fallen in love, and been married already. He’s a nice guy, and he’s hot, that can’t be denied.

Bradley Bradshaw is a lot different than Steve.

And you wish you'd met him sooner. Because as much as you liked him enough to have a one-night stand with Bradley, Steve was still in your mind, haunting you in every dream—or should you say nightmare? Things are still fresh in your memory, even if it’s been a year. Seems like no matter how far you run from the problem, it still haunts you. It will always haunt you.

“Ash?”

“Oh, sorry, were you saying something?” You look at him from the sofa you’ve been sitting on all morning. It’s been a few days since you moved with Bradley, and he’s been an absolute sweetheart. Cooked for you, helped you whenever you needed it, and he had been kind enough to lend you some of his clothes because you were definitely too big to keep using your own. Literally, the perfect guy.

And he looks at you with this hope in his eyes, like you being pregnant will somehow make you fall in love with him. But you can fall in love with someone when the memory of the last man you loved is still in your mind… and his sister hates your existence.

“I was saying that Jake has invited all of us to his house. You feel like going?” He says while handing you a glass of water.

“I mean, it’s my brother now. I have to.” You watch him as he sits down, moving your legs so they’re resting on his lap. “Do you want to go?”

“I’m always ready to hang out with my friends.” He caresses your leg, looking at your belly. “How are you feeling about being the new member of a big family?”

You chuckle, leaving the glass on the table. “It’s a bit overwhelming, you know? It’s always been me and my mom, but now I have a father, step-siblings, a step-mom, a sister-in-law that used to be my front seater and whose son is now my nephew, and she has another baby on the way!”

Bradley nods, tilting his head so that it’s resting on the back of the sofa. “Yeah, and a lot of crazy uncles and aunts for your babies.”

You kick his arm with your leg. “Our babies.”

He looks at you with the softest smile in the world, and something inside you feels warm. “Our babies. So… I wanted to talk about us.”

And here it is. “Okay, tell me what’s bothering you.”

“I know you know I am interested in you. I like you, a whole lot.” He claims and there is no doubt in his mind. “But I know you don’t feel the same.”

“Bradley… How many times have we seen each other before I crashed Liam’s birthday party?"

“Four, I think.”

“We barely know each other. You don’t even know my last name.”

“It’s Simmons.”

“No, it’s- Wait, how do you know?” You frown.

“Saw your dog tags yesterday.” He waves it off, bringing you closer and almost sitting you on his lap. His hand moves to hold yours, the other one rests on your belly. “What I’m trying to say is that you don’t have to worry about my feelings. You and the babies are the most important thing for me right now.”

“Thank you, Bradley. I know I could fall for you, you know. But things are already too complicated to try and see if we can work this out.” You explain feeling so absolutely horrible about this. “Just imagine that we try to be together, and we end up fighting or something, the only ones that will end up suffering here are the babies.”

He sighs, pushing your hair behind your ear. “I know. That’s why I said I don’t care about my feelings. It’s not about us anymore.”

“You’re really different than I thought you would be.” You giggle, watching his face morph into a shocked expression. He lets out an airy laugh, rolling his eyes. “Hey! Everyone thinks you’re an idiot, and I’m here praising you. You should be thanking me.”

“Oh, yeah, I need to thank you because you’re realizing how awesome I am?” He grins, raising an eyebrow.

You hit his shoulder before your phone lights up, a new message waiting for you to read it.

And this is why you really don’t want to have a relationship with Rooster. Because maybe, one day you’ll have to run away and leave him behind with the twins.

Gina won’t stop until you’ve paid for her brother’s death. Even if it wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t do anything about it.

You never wanted the accident to happen. You never wanted everyone to change your call sign, to be reminded of that atrocious incident every time someone called you.

It got to the point where you wished you hadn't walked out of that plane without a scratch. Maybe if something had happened to you—maybe if you couldn’t walk anymore—everyone would have left you alone. You’re not a hero, you never wanted to be one. You’re just a survivor. And you have enough trauma as it is; you don’t need new call signs, pats on the back whenever you walk into a room, or curious eyes following you around trying to understand how a small, insignificant thing like you got out of such a horrible crash. Yeah, Gina said that.

Because Gina would never forget how you, her brother’s girlfriend, managed to survive when he couldn’t.

And she’s been sending these messages for almost a year now. You left the base soon after Red was offered a new position. You couldn’t bear the thought of Gina being your boss. Life was already insufferable enough as it was. You didn’t need her to make it worse.

But she, living up to her call sign, is determined to Nuke your life.

One way or another.

#top gun maverick #top gun x reader #top gun maverick fanfic #top gun fanfiction #bradley bradshaw #bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster bradshaw fic #bradley bradshaw x female reader #bradley bradshaw x reader #rooster fanfic #rooster top gun #rooster x reader #rooster imagine #rooster fluff #bradley rooster bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw angst #top gun #tasting the ashes

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cryoverlife · 4 months

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When you realize that Alex asked Conner to kill her. Conner, who would do anything for his sister. He threw a book at a teacher, he jumped into a glowing book with no idea what would happen, taunted the literal enchantress who could kill him with a look because he though she killed his sister, ran off on a field trip and across Germany to warn of a possible attack, stayed in a place he didn’t actually belong in to help her deal with the death of their grandmother, flew to New York, broke several laws, all for Alex. Like Conner barely ever even gets mad at Alex during the books, even when she arguably would deserve it. Alex actually thought Conner would kill her.

Sorry Conner would kill himself first. He pretty much becomes suicidal whenever he thinks Alex is dead/in danger as shown when he taunts the enchantress in book 2 after she throws Alex off a sky high tower.

You cannot tell me Conner doesn’t have nightmares about this after everything was over. He straight up tries to do anything to avoid his old house because all he can remember is it covered in post it notes telling him to kill his sister.

#tlos #conner bailey #alex bailey #conner is an awesome brother #they both need therapy

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lala3244 · 10 months

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When the protectors are gone Part five

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Got quite busy last week as one of my numerous sisters in law came to visit for the whole week but I finally finished part five!

WARNINGS: Consumption of alcohol, slight drunken state, talk of aggression, talk of scars, where I am from children are allowed in certain bars during the evening, of course they are not allowed to drink alcohol, violence and blood.

================================================

I put my hands on my mouth and my eyes welled up. I couldn’t believe it. It followed me here. I needed a break from demons in general and there they were in MY realm. What a nightmare! Simeon came closer and put his hands on my wrists. “We are here to protect you and your family so no harm comes to you.” A sob came out and I turned to look at my family, all unaware of the threat on their life, all happy. I tried to control my tears. I didn't want to worry my family.

“You couldn’t have come tomorrow? Why today ? I literally arrived this morning. I didn’t even get to enjoy a proper day without anything reminding me of the Devildom.” My tears were falling freely now. Luke cried as well and wrapped his small arms around my waist. “I am so sorry ! We just want you safe!” I patted his head “I know Luke and I am glad you’re here but I needed a break. For that I need my family to replenish my energy.” He tightened his embrace and hid his face in my torso. Solomon and Simeon were looking at me with sad eyes and a tight smile, not knowing how to comfort me. I tried to change my mind so I pulled away from the little angel slightly “Luke? Have you ever been to the human realm before?” He shook his head “I did but just passed by.” I held his hand “Okay, well we are going to swim then!” We headed towards the spot I was on before they arrived and I introduced them briefly to my family. I looked at my sister who had a mischievous look on her face but I preferred to ignore her. I let the two men settle and I took the little angel with me to the water. I showed him how to deal with the waves coming at us, to jump in them and to avoid where the waves are breaking so he doesn’t drown by the force of them and the violent current.

Only Simeon joined us as Solomon didn’t like the sea. We played in the water the three of us and for a moment I forgot why they were here. Luke started to get tired so Simeon brought him back to the towels to get dry. My sister went for a dip and stood next to me. Both of us turned towards the three friends. “So? Who are they?” I looked at her, unsure of what to say. “I guess they are my bodyguards?” She laughed “Even the kid?” I laughed too, realising my answer was stupid but I stuck to it. “Yes, even the kid” She nodded “They are extremely good looking. Anything happened with one of them?” I burst out laughing “As if Sol or Simeon would be interested in me!” She glared at me seriously. “Well why not?” I shook my head “They are way too attractive and smart to be interested in someone like me! You don’t realise where we work, how the other people are way more beautiful and intelligent and stronger than I am. They’ve got so many choices, I don’t even think I’ll be in the top 100.” She was still staring at me then looked towards them and showed them with her finger. They were looking at me then waved when they saw I was watching them. “I don’t know… I think they do like you…a lot actually” Again, I shook my head “Nah, it’s just pity and guilt and maybe friendship but believe me no one is interested in me.” I left her standing alone. What she was saying was nonsense. I had only one good looking man interested in me and I was lucky we got together. We were a couple for ten years when an illness took him and he died leaving me alone and heartbroken. It took me two years to mourn and being in the Devildom made me realise how lonely I have been and it was the worst just before the attack.

I joined the three boys “So I have calmed down a bit and I can talk about it without crying… I think. Why were you three sent here?” They all looked at each other then Solomon started to talk “Lord Diavolo had all of us meeting at his castle. He explained the situation. Lucifer, Mammon and Satan volunteered to go after the demons hunting you, the others decided to stay and look after Amelia in case they are more demons who want to get rid of all humans in the Devildom then Diavolo asked if we could find you and protect you and your family. Luke couldn’t stay alone in the Purgatory Hall for an uncertain time so we brought him with us.” I nodded but didn’t say anything. I was thinking about everything he just told me. Before I started talking I could hear my mom calling me. So I left them and went to see her. She just wanted to take pictures of all of us. After the seance, I talked to my sister and two of my cousins. We decided to go out tonight. I was excited! It’s been a while since I went out like that so we left the beach to get ready for our evening. I told the boys my plan for later and they decided they would come too. Even Luke would be allowed in the bar we are going to first. I got back home and started to get ready. While in the shower I realised something: If Satan was after the demons, who was looking after my cat? I knew it was stupid to worry about that when literal demons were chasing me but I didn’t want anything to happen to my cat while I wasn’t there. I finished my shower and got dressed. I grabbed my D.D.D. and sent a text to Satan.

Me: Hey Satan! I know you have other problems but with you gone, who is looking after my cat? Please, don’t be mad at me for worrying about it. I just can’t bear the thought of losing him. And by the way, Thank you.

I sent it and put some makeup on. I had dinner with my parents and my sister picked me up. We arrived at the bar, we were the first there so we ordered our drinks and we sat at a large table. We talked while the others arrived shortly after. We stayed there for a couple of hours then the bar closed but we decided to go to a club nearby. Simeon took Luke back to the hotel they were staying at as he was too young to come with us. He was quite upset with us but left anyway. My cousins left us as well, they had to work in the morning. We arrived at the club and ordered more drinks. I started to feel tipsy but in such a good mood I didn’t care. We sat in a corner to drink but then a song was playing and I loved it so I stood up and went on the dancefloor. Solomon joined me, at first he was a few inches away from me but as more people went on the dancefloor, he got closer to me. I have always found Solomon attractive but a bit shady and with the alcohol (not) helping I wrapped my arms around his neck then I started to dance sensually as I could (which wasn’t). I could hear him chuckle but he put his hands on my waist and guided me closer. He leaned his forehead against mine and locked his eyes with my own. We danced for a few songs when my sister came over telling me she wanted to leave and as she picked me up she had to give me a lift back. I nodded and looked at the man who still had his arms wrapped around me. “You can stay with us. We share a room with Simeon and Luke, you can sleep in my bed and I’ll sleep on the sofa.” I smiled and turned to my sister. “Yeah, I’ll stay with Sol.” She looked at the two of us with a smirk and I rolled my eyes.

I went to get another drink for Sol and me. We sat on a couch, I put my legs on his and he would caress my thighs while we talked and flirted. We stayed there as long as it took us to drink our beverages. When we finished our drinks, we left the club and headed towards the hotel. We took the scenery route and walked on the beach. The fresh air sobered me up a bit and I started to feel embarrassed about my behaviour with the sorcerer but he didn’t seem to care as he put his arm around my shoulders and hugged me on his side. I leaned my head on his chest and we walked silently on the sand. We arrived at the hotel and went straight up to the room but before we entered it, Solomon stopped and didn’t move. I looked at him, confused. He faced me and he kissed me. It took me by surprise and I froze for a second but then I cupped his cheeks and I leaned into the kiss. I pulled away first and smiled at him. “We better get inside”. He giggled and nodded then opened the door. He approached me and whispered “Do you need a T-shirt to sleep in?” I nodded, he went to grab one of his T-shirt and he gave it to me. I smiled as a thank you and asked where the bathroom was. He opened the door for me and let me enter. “Do you need help getting undressed?” I faced him and he was watching me intensely with a smirk on his face. I came closer to him and pushed him back off the bathroom. “No, thanks I can handle it from here.”

I left the bathroom and saw that the sorcerer wasn’t on the couch. I frowned and went to what I assumed was the bedroom. The room was lit by a small night light next to Solomon and I saw two queen size beds. On the left one I could see Simeon and Luke sleeping in it and on the right one, Solomon propped up some pillows looking at me. I was still frowning and went to bed. I leaned closer to him and whispered as quietly as possible. “What are you doing? I thought you were going to sleep on the sofa?” He smiled, proud of himself “I know, I lied.” I sighed as I said he was shady but I let it go, I was starting to feel sleepy. I went under the duvet and turned my back to him. He did the same and then he got closer to me. He wrapped his arms around my body and tightened his grip. “Good night” He kissed me on the top of my head and squeezed me. I chuckled “Good night Sol.” I moved my hand and squeezed his arm. We fell asleep seconds after that.

I was woken up by Luke's high pitched voice as he noticed me in the bed still enveloped by Solomon’s body. Apparently, we haven’t moved a hair since we fell asleep a few hours ago. I tried to move but the sorcerer, who was still asleep, even with all the noises from the angel, didn’t want me to leave his embrace. I tried to turn around so I could face him and his grip loosened a bit. I put my hands on his ribs and tickled him to see if he would wake up. He groaned and his grip tightened so much that I couldn’t move nor I could breath. I tried to wriggle out of his embrace while calling his name. Finally, he opened his eyes and he looked down at me with a smirk on his face. “I got you now and I am not letting you go.” I laughed and shook my head. “Please, Sol. Luke is freaking out at the situation and I need to drink some water." He sighed and finally let me go. I stood up and the two angels were watching our interaction, Luke looked freak out and Simeon had an unreadable expression as he looked at me. I smiled at them embarrassed and ran to the bathroom. I had left my clothes neatly folded on a stool inside the bathroom. While I changed, I could hear them whispering behind the door. I tried to eavesdrop but couldn’t hear a thing so I opened the door. The three of them stared at me and my phone suddenly rang. I excused myself and grabbed it to answer it. It was my mom. She was worried as I wasn’t home and told her where I was. She proposed to pick me up and to go and visit my aunt. I turned to the angels and the sorcerer to tell them that my mom was picking me up. They nodded their agreement and Luke stepped forward “Let’s go have breakfast! You must be hungry.” I smiled at the happy child and we all left for the breakfast room. I could feel Simeon’s gaze on me the whole time we ate and felt uncomfortable as if he was judging me for something. Did he know that Solomon and I kissed ? But why would he be upset about that? I let go of my thoughts, as if an angel would be upset about something so trivial.

Before I left, Simeon said he had received some updates from Lucifer. The traitors are a couple of days away from the human world but they were good at hiding their tracks. They were still ahead of the three Avatars but they should catch up to them before they catch me. I nodded, still scared but placing my trust in them as I didn’t have a choice anyway.

After the visit to my aunt’s house, we came back home. I had left my D.D.D in my room and I unlocked it. There was a notification, a text message with one word from Satan.

Satan: Beel

I sighed, relieved. I knew I could trust him with my cat.

Me: Thanks a lot Satan. Be careful out there. I still owe you a favour.

As last night finally got to me, I went to bed early. The next two days, we spent it at the beach picnicking for lunch and dinner. The three boys joined us both days and they got on well with my family. We haven’t heard from Lucifer or any of the brothers. We didn’t try to contact them as we thought we might distract them if we did. I managed to relax in those couple of days which was nice. On the second day, my sister finally asked the question “What happened to you? How did you get those scars?” I tried to cover my scars as much as I could but some of them were still showing and I didn’t want them to prevent me from enjoying those beach days. Actually, I was slowly starting to be proud of them. I survived a horrible attack and only had some scars then it made me think I needed to practise some magic and I need to talk to Solomon about it. “Yes, someone attacked me and tortured me. I… I am not ready to talk about it.” I lowered my head so I could hide the tears that were starting to well up. I still hadn’t come over it apparently. I blinked my tears away and wiped them with my hand. She put a comforting hand on my shoulder and squeezed. I smiled tightly at her. “Let’s go out again tonight! Just the two of us!” I giggled “Yeah, sure if you want.”

After the day at the beach, we came back home. Again, I got ready for the night out with my lovely sister. My mother gave us a lift to the pub and we would take a taxi home. We sat at the bar and were talking for a few hours when Solomon, Simeon and Luke arrived, looking worried. Luke sat next to my sis’ to distract her while the angel and the sorcerer took me to the side. “They’ve arrived in the realm. They are a few hours away.” I stared at them “But Lucifer and the other two are not far behind, right?” They looked at each other but didn’t say anything. “They will catch them before they reach me, right?” The alcohol flowing in my veins kept me, weirdly enough, from falling apart. I decided then I couldn’t be just a lamb waiting for slaughter. I would need to do something when I came back to the Devildom. When I made that decision in my slightly drunken state they still hadn’t spoken yet. Finally, Simeon spoke. “You should come with us now.” I shook my head “Nah, I’m still staying out. You said they are a few hours away from here? Then I still have time to enjoy myself and come what may.” They looked at me, shocked. I guessed they weren’t expecting me to react like that. I smiled at them and went back to Luke and my sister. The other two joined us and we chatted away. Luke started to fall asleep on my sister’s shoulder. Simeon looked at the young angel with soft eyes and a tender smile then looked at Solomon. “Can you, this time, look after Luke? I will stay with those two lovely people.” I smiled at the compliment. Solomon’s gaze darkened but he nodded and he grabbed Luke gently then they left. I looked at the time and realised that quite a few hours had gone by quickly. I told my sister to go, that I will stay with the angel but she needed to go home. She looked at me strangely but agreed. We called a taxi, waited for it then she left. With Simeon, we went to another bar.

We talked for a couple of hours then we decided it was time to leave. I stood up a bit wobbly on my legs. The angel held his arm out so I could stand and walk thanks to him. We walked for a few hundred metres when he stopped. I turned my head and was about to talk but he put his finger on his mouth to shush me. I gasped but stopped. We walked slowly around the corner and there we saw them. The group of demons were a hundred metres away from us. I recognised them. They were invited to the birthday party Diavolo threw for me. I talked to them and thanked them for their presents. I started to shake, not from fear but from anger. The three brothers were also there approaching them slowly. They were all in their demon’s forms. I was about to walk towards them when Simeon grabbed me and put his hand on my mouth. “Be quiet. Let Lucifer, Satan and Mammon handle it. If they notice you, they’ll try to protect you and that could endanger them.” I nodded slowly but didn’t move otherwise as I was watching them. I knew demons were physically strong but it was even more than I could imagine. Too many things were happening at once. Lucifer tearing limbs of a demon apart , blood flying everywhere as if he was plucking a flower, while keeping him alive. Mammon broke the legs of another as if they were only twigs so he couldn’t run away. Satan used some spells to paralyse two of them. It was a carnage and still I couldn’t prevent myself from watching. I would have nightmares from the weeks to come. When all of them were out of harm, a portal opened and Barbatos arrived and helped the three Lords carry the demons inside the portal then they all left.

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THE END

Tag: @shycreatorsandwich (you so nicely asked me :))

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#obey me #obey me fandom #obey me mammon #obey me fanfic #obey me simeon #obey me swd #obey me satan #obey me solomon #obey me luke #obey me barbatos #obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #omswd #obey me mc #can't help but to live vicariously through this story #I secretly really need people to like my story #obey me x reader

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