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#and i can only speak on the last year of course bc that's how long i've been an actual carat and kept up with them to this extent

bucketsofmonsters · 7 months

Text

Without Expectation

You know how everyone is talking about how Astarion has a difficult relationship with hero characters bc he felt abandoned by them when he was suffering? What if, during his 200 years of imprisonment, he’d met one? Very much inspired by this post

cw: pre-game astarion, Cazador, prostitution and non-consensual sex alluded to but never shown, healing from trauma, Astarion being sexualized, Astarion sexualizing himself, objectification, blood drinking, he’s kind of sexually aggressive in this but it's just because he’s scared and he doesn’t know anything else, reader is from a group of monster hunters that I made up who have been harassing Cazador, they are separate from any in-game monster hunters who are less Astarion friendly

Astarion x gn reader

Word count: 6k

He was charming. Pretty words, perfect hair, a dashing smile, and hollow eyes.

The second Cazador had said the word, he was all over you.

You couldn’t turn down the offer. Not for the promise of pleasure, that was the last thing on your mind looking at him.

But if you got him alone you could talk to him, outside of the watchful eye of his master.

He had you pinned to the wall of your bedroom before you could even say a word. You had to shove him back and he stumbled, a frightened, hurt look crossing his face before the practiced charm slipped easily back.

“Oh, you like to play rough, do you? That’s fine with me, I don’t mind being pushed around a little.”

“Stop,” you pleaded with him. “Please, can I just speak for a second?”

“Say whatever you’d like, darling.”

“Listen… Astarion, wasn’t it?”

He smirked at you. “It is, but you can call me whatever you'd like.”

“Astarion, you don’t have to do this.”

“Of course I don’t. I want to. Don’t you want me?” He moved to get into your space again but you stepped back and he didn’t follow.

You did your best to push past his flirtation. “How often does he make you do things like this?”

“Like this? Not often. My lovers don’t typically live to see the morning. Although I suppose it doesn’t make much difference to me,” he said with a laugh, one that felt practiced and put on.

“Oh.” You couldn’t imagine it, being forced to not only be with so many people but to send them off to their deaths night after night.

Your eyes drifted down as your thoughts spiraled and he grabbed your chin, pulling your face up so your eyes met once more, directing all your attention back to him. “Is that what’s bothering you, darling? I promise Cazador has given me very clear instructions on how well you should be treated.”

“No, that’s not the problem.” You dropped your head into your hands as you tried to figure out what to do. “God, this is such a nightmare. Listen, I can sleep on the couch, you should take the bed,” you said, gesturing vaguely at the loveseat tucked in the corner of the room.

“Come now, that’s not necessary my dear,” he practically purred at you.

You felt a little more nauseous with every pass he made at you. “You really don’t have to do that, I swear. Not in here at least. It would probably be prudent to pretend in front of Cazador but that’s an issue for tomorrow.”

“Even if you don’t want sex,” he said with a little roll of his eyes. “The couch is not necessary. I promise I won’t bite.”

It was a bad idea. You knew that much. But the bed looked so soft and comfortable and the couch wasn’t even long enough to fit all of you if you tried to lie down.

You sat on the bed tentatively and sunk into the mattress. It was by far the most comfortable bed you’d ever been in and you ran your hand along the silky sheets. “Alright, but we’ll just be sleeping,” you said with a pointed look in his direction.

In a heartbeat, you were pushed back onto the mattress and he was looking over you, his hands on either side of your head as he grinned down at you. “Are you certain, my dear? I could make you feel so good.”

“I’m sure you could,” you said with a smile, cupping his face in your hands. His eyes lit up at the contact and it was clear that he thought he’d done it, that he'd won you over. “But that won’t be necessary.”

You leaned up and pressed a kiss into his forehead before gently pushing him off of you back towards his side of the bed.

He seemed wounded and frightened by the gesture, a far cry from the practiced seduction you’ve seen from him so far. “You don’t want me.”

“I assure you that is not the problem,” you said, careful to keep your voice gentle.

He did not seem convinced, a tragic vulnerability starting to seep through his facade.

As he stared at you, a worried look plastered across his face, you grabbed some of the many pillows from the top of the bed, placing a few between the two of you.

He scoffed at the sight. “I don’t know what those are meant to stop. Not exactly impenetrable security against a rabid vampire.”

“They’re not for you. I have a tendency to get… grabby, in my sleep.”

He huffed, folding his arms as he finally conceded ground and laid down next to you. “Good. Maybe you’ll be more interesting than when you are awake.”

You doubted he’d find you snuggling a pillow particularly interesting but you let him interpret your words however he pleased.

“Perhaps. Now if it’s all the same to you, I’m going to sleep now.”

“It’s not all the same to me, thank you very much.”

“Alright,” you said with a yawn. “Goodnight.”

You woke up with your arms wrapped around a pillow from your little wall, holding it close to your chest as you eased your eyes open to see Astarion unabashedly staring at you.

He spoke as soon as he caught wind you were awake. “You weren’t kidding about being grabby, you’re practically smothering the poor thing.”

Your face warmed slightly at his words, embarrassment fluttering in your chest. “It’s an old habit. What about you, couldn’t sleep?”

“Elves don’t sleep.”

You suddenly felt incredibly foolish. “Oh. Right. So you’ve just been sitting there all night then?”

“I tranced for a while. It was certainly a more boring night than I expected.”

You yawned as you sat up, setting the pillow you’d been holding behind you. “Terribly sorry to disappoint. Hopefully, there will be many more boring nights in your future.”

He pulled back, cocking his head to the side. “What?”

You realized you hadn’t told him of your little scheme yet. “I was thinking. This whole meeting with Cazador was more of a formality than anything. He’s killed too many of our people, we need to make this deal, at least until we can figure out how to sort him out for good. But he doesn’t know that and maybe, if you’re amiable to it, I could throw in a final term to the deal. Where he has to give me… well, you. Not that you should be his to give, but I figure if I can save someone from this place and I didn’t, what kind of a monster would I be?”

His eyes narrowed. “What do you want from me?”

You shrugged. “I’d say nothing if I thought you’d believe me. If you need to rationalize it, let’s just say it’s an ego boost. Now I get to feel like a good person and you get to leave this place. As long as I don’t mess it up too badly.”

Mistrust was written across his face and it seemed like the first completely honest emotion you’d been able to pull from him.

“I don’t believe you.”

“That’s fine, we can fix that after I get you out of here.” You sighed. “Wish me luck. I’m an awful liar.”

He trailed after you as you left, seemingly incapable of letting you out of his sight.

Maybe he was. Maybe he’d been ordered to do so. You had no way to tell. It made your heart hurt, the sight of him here, the idea of Cazador’s other spawn that you couldn’t save. At least not yet.

He followed you like a loyal pup all the way to Cazador, who was lounging in a chair without a care in the world.

He chuckled at the sight of Astarion behind you. “And how was my spawn? To your satisfaction?”

You swallowed down that bile that rose in you as you said, “He was a delight. I was wondering, in the name of our agreement, is there any way I could keep him? It’s just that I’ve grown quite fond of him so very quickly.”

Cazador laughed, a putrid, callous thing. “I’m sure. He can be quite… convincing. And this would make you amenable to my terms?”

You nodded. “All the monster hunters in Baldur's Gate will focus their attention in… other places. You and yours will be entirely safe from our wrath.”

“And if we’d like to push you in the direction of another creature?”

You gave him a tactful nod. “We could be convinced.”

“Good.” He laughed once more. “Typical monster hunter. You pretend to hate us and yet you want to keep a vampire pet.”

Astarion leaned into your side and you felt a little queasy at the performance as you snaked your arm around him. “Like I said, he was very convincing.”

He sighed. “You drive a hard bargain. As you wish, you shall have your terms. Just tell me if he doesn’t behave. I can get him sorted right out for you.”

It took everything you had not to lunge at him thinking about everything he’d put this poor man through. “Of course, but I’m sure I’ll be able to manage just fine on my own.”

You got out of there as fast as you could. Even if you hadn’t had Astarion with you, you didn’t want to spend any longer than absolutely necessary with the monster.

You pulled him through the streets back to the house you were staying in, racing against the sun. You barely had enough time to get him there and pull him inside, but you had a feeling he’d prefer this mad dash over staying another day with his master.

Regardless, the whole time your eyes were darting around, looking for places you could hide him should you need to.

You wondered what you’d even do if it had come to that. Just sit with him for the rest of the day, you supposed, unless he wanted to try a risky maneuver with a thick blanket.

You tried to pull him inside but it was like an invisible wall had stopped him in his tracks. You gave him a questioning look and he grumbled, “You have to invite me.”

“Oh! I’m sorry, come in!”

As soon as the words left your mouth, he rushed in beside you and you set yourself to making sure all of the widows were fully shut, pulling the curtains tight.

He watched you dart about, tugging at the thick fabric. His gaze was judgemental but at least the emotion seemed genuine.

As soon as you were mostly certain he wouldn’t burn to death, you turned to him. “We won’t be leaving for a while so you can make yourself at home. If you need anything just let me know, okay?”

You didn’t see him for the whole day. You were busy and he made himself scarce. You couldn’t blame him. You imagined he’d long since made it a habit to avoid being seen by anyone. Anyone except his forced prey, you supposed. But still, he hid away from them, in his own way.

“Astarion, can you come look at this?” you called out as the sun finally dipped fully below the horizon, hoping he was close enough that he could hear you. And hoping he would come even if he did.

It took a few minutes but eventually he came sauntering down the stairs.

“Yes, my dear?”

You grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the window, gesturing out at the carriage that was illuminated by torches alone, shrouded in the thick darkness of the night. “Do you think it’ll be alright? The last thing I want is for you to get hurt.”

He stared out at the carriage you’d spent hours painstakingly attempting to make impenetrable to light. You’d painted the windows black, hung blankets over top of them, shoved old linens in the cracks in the doors.

He cautiously headed outside, staring at the carriage with furrowed brows. “Did you do this?”

“Yeah, I tested it during the day. It seemed pretty solid but obviously you couldn’t check then. I could bring a torch around the outside if you wanted to check for yourself.”

He looked at you like you were mad. “We could have just traveled at night.”

You shrugged. “It’s a two-day journey and I didn’t want to depend on inns and shelter along the road to protect you during the day. This seemed safer.”

He opened the door, sitting inside and looking around at the painstakingly covered windows and cracks, and you couldn’t tell if he seemed uncomfortable because he was worried about the sun or because of the sheer amount of effort you’d clearly put into it.

“Do you want anything for the ride?” you asked, pushing forward. “Some books or something? I could go get them for you.”

“Your company is all I could ask for.”

“Okay, but for real though. Never mind, I’ll just get you some books.” You doubted you’d be able to pull an honest answer from him for a very long time, if at all.

After a frenzied book run, the two of you were ready to head off, locking yourselves inside the carriage until the sun set once more.

The bumps of the carriage jostled the two of you as you rode. The flickering orange light of two lanterns, one for each of you, barely illuminated the darkened space and you couldn’t help but feel a little claustrophobic.

He was sitting, staring at you, book untouched on his lap.

You’d brought as many options as you could think of, romance novels, epics, history, a horticultural book that had pulled a snort and an incredulous look from him when he’d seen it.

He didn’t seem much in the mood for reading and under his unblinking gaze, neither were you. Instead, you stared at the painted-over window, wishing there was anything else you had to look at in the dim light.

“Admiring your paint job?” he asked with a chuckle as you continued to refuse to meet his unblinking gaze.

“Something like that.” You decided to take the broken silence as an opportunity. Anything was better than being silently stared at and you weren’t sure you’d get a better chance to ask him. “Can I ask you something that’s potentially insensitive?”

He smirked at you with that practiced allure. “Ask away.”

“Were you one of his favorites? Cazador's, I mean.”

He scoffed. “In a way. He loved torturing me more than anyone else.”

You leaned forward. “So it might be easier to convince him to part with the others?”

His eyes narrowed at you and you watched as he tried once again to figure out what your angle was. “You’ve got a real bleeding heart, don’t you?”

“We’ve been unable to hurt him for so long, failed at it for years and years. Every day you were there was because we weren’t good enough at what we did. I can’t help it, I feel a little responsible for you. For all of you.”

“Oh please,” he said with a roll of his eyes. “Like I’m not one of the monsters you hunt.”

You cocked your head to the side. “Why would you be? Who have you hurt?”

He laughed a cold, cruel laugh. “Darling, you have no idea how many people I’ve hurt.”

“You haven’t though. Cazador hurt people through you, sure. But you didn’t hurt anyone, not really. You’re a victim just as much as they were. At least we managed to save some of them.”

He squirmed in his seat. “I think they might disagree.”

You shrugged, something delicate in his eyes telling you not to push. “Maybe.”

The rest of the ride was completed in silence, not only fueled by your discomfort but now also Astarion’s irritation with you.

Your driver gave a knock on the door as the sun disappeared, just as you’d instructed him to, and you opened it to find a quaint little inn surrounded by woods in front of you.

He left to take care of the horses and you led Astarion inside, securing two rooms for the three of you. In a perfect world you would’ve gotten Astarion his own room, but his vampirism wasn’t exactly subtle and you couldn’t help but worry that some overzealous patron of this establishment might take it upon themself to rid the inn of the supposed monster.

You led him up to the room you’d be sharing and as you entered, he stood in the doorway and took in the sight.

You were quick to give him a quiet, “Come in,” but he brushed you off.

“That’s for houses, not individual rooms. I just…there’s two beds.”

You nodded. “Yup. For two people.”

He eyed you suspiciously, as if the two beds might be part of some devious scheme. After a few moments, he seemed to decide it was just a normal room and took the bed nearest the door.

He seemed paler than he’d been the night before and a horrible thought struck you. “Oh my god, you need to eat! I haven’t been feeding you.”

He chuckled. “Good luck with that, there aren’t many disposable animals out here. At least, not ones you could catch. Unless you want to let me at the horses, but that would leave us in quite the predicament.”

“I mean, you could drink from me. Not everything, obviously, but I could spare some.”

You held out your hand to him, presenting your wrist and looking at him expectantly.

“I’m not allowed to drink human blood,” he spat back at you, the bile of hundreds of years of resentment lacing his words. “Cazador doesn’t allow it.”

“You’re not his anymore. He gave control over to me and I say you can do whatever you’d like and that you don’t take orders from anyone anymore. The offer stands.” You went to withdraw your hand until his hunger bested his hesitation but he grabbed your wrist, stopping you from pulling away.

“Well,” he said with a sly smile. “As long as you’re offering, I would be a fool to turn you down.”

It was so strange how quickly it happened, how easily he could slip right back into that faux confidence.

He leaned towards you and you backed away at the hungry look in his eyes, one you were more than familiar with.

“If you really want to I’m sure there’s ways we could make this a more rewarding experience for you,” he said and in a heartbeat he maneuvered himself over you, his hands interlaced with yours and holding you to the mattress.

You pulled yourself back in an instant, leaning against the headboard as you presented your wrist to him once more.

You didn’t fault him for it. After years of surviving with it, of course he would keep trying to draw you in with his sexuality. The instinct couldn’t be snuffed out overnight.

You’d bat away his attempts as many times you needed to, try and make him understand. You weren’t sure if it would ever work, not fully, but you’d keep trying.

“It’s easier this way,” you said in explanation, giving him something to latch onto that didn’t feel like rejection.

He rolled his eyes. “Easier, I’m sure. Typical, I got a master who’s allergic to fun.”

“I’m not your master. You can do as you please, could leave now if you wanted.”

“And go where?” he snapped. “You can pretend if you must but I know what I am. I know where I stand. I am a lot of things, but I am no fool.”

“I know.”

He studied you for a moment, eyes daring across your face before he pulled your wrist towards him, digging his teeth into your flesh.

The sharp pain lasted for a heartbeat before it faded away to a dull ache. He lapped at the open wound, his put-on demeanor disappearing as he got lost in it.

He cradled your hand like it was a lifeline. In a way, you supposed it was.

You could feel yourself getting lightheaded as he fed but you refused to stop him. You would not command it of him, would rather die than force him into it. You let out a quiet whine, your form slumping back into the bed.

He drew away immediately and your blood began pouring onto the white sheets of the bed.

A moment of panic reflected in his red eyes before he grabbed the corner of the sheets, wrapping them around your wound.

“There,” he said, his voice quieter than his normal bravado. “Should keep you from bleeding out.”

Your eyes were locked on his collarbone, a dark bruise becoming visible as your blood fled through his previously starved body. The longer you looked, the more of them you could see, peeking out from under his clothes.

“Oh, you poor thing,” you said in hushed tones, hands moving to reach for him before stopping in their tracks, unsure if your touch would be wanted.

He was otherwise preoccupied, his eyes alight with something entirely new. He looked stronger, livelier. There was a warmth to his cheeks you’d never seen before.

You resisted the urge to touch him, to see if he’d become warmer as your blood had begun to run through him, bringing a new light to his eyes.

“You should get some rest,” he said, looking down at you lying exhausted and drained on the bed. “You certainly need it.”

You barely had time to laugh at his comment before you’d drifted off.

The ride back was as quiet as it had been the day before, if a little less uncomfortable. Astarion still stared for much of it but he at least pretended to read his book. The healthy flush to his cheeks seemed to come with a bit of newfound comfort and ease around you that made you puff up with pride, even if you still felt a little woozy from the night before.

“Here we are!” you said as a knock sounded on the door, opening it and leading him inside your home. It was an old manor of your family's, not particularly big, right on the edge of nowhere, and perhaps falling apart just a little but more than suitable for your purposes. “It’s a little bit of a mess but I kind of like it that way. Come on, I’ll show you your room.”

You decided to put him in a room that was just a few doors down from your own, pointing out just where he could go to find you if he needed anything.

You laid down to sleep once you got him situated, more exhausted than you typically were at this time of night. Despite how tired you were, presumably from the blood loss, you had to fight the urge to go and check on Astarion just one more time.

You hadn’t known him for long but you’d already developed an intensely protective instinct towards the man.

You did your best to put him out of your mind when a knock sounded at the door.

“Come in,” you called out. You made no attempt to suppress your smile when he peeked in the doorway.

“I think I’ve grown accustomed to your company,” he said sheepishly, and for once it didn’t seem like he was trying to seduce you. He seemed worn down, looking just as tired as you felt, a defeated air present on his face.

You were too tired for subtlety, opening your arm to him and muttering a sleepy, “Just come here.”

He seemed grateful to not have to explain himself. To not have to ask.

He sat on the bed, looking down at you where you lay.

“No pillow this time?” he asked in that snide voice he used so often.

“I can if you want. Just thought you might appreciate the closeness.”

He rolled his eyes dramatically. “Fine, I’ll be your little pillow to hug. Fair warning though, I run cold.”

You tried and failed to suppress a yawn as he got into bed beside you and you wrapped your arms softly around him. “I don’t mind. G’night.”

“Goodnight, my dear.”

Just like that, it became a bit of unspoken habit between the two of you. You felt it might honestly kill him to comment on it, to ask you for affection. But with no words, no pleasantries, there he was every night, beside you.

One night, about a week into his residence in your home, he seemed more restless than normal, fiddling endlessly with your hand, incapable of sitting still. You turned to him with a pointed look. “Come on, out with it, it’s not good to go to bed with things left unsaid.”

He scoffed. “Why not?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know, what if I die in my sleep or something.”

“If you die in your sleep, I think I might have bigger problems than things I didn’t say to you. Namely, some monster hunters who might take issue with the vampire you died next to.”

You shook your head. “No, I already told them about you, they wouldn’t hurt you.”

That seemed to take him by surprise, pulling back a bit at your words. “You did?”

“Of course I did. Now come on, out with it, what’s going on it that head of yours?”

He sighed dramatically and flopped back on his pillow. “It’s really nothing.”

“Not if it's bothering you. I want to help.”

“Did you mean it?” he blurted out, like the words had to be forced out of him quickly or they wouldn’t come out at all. “When you said you wanted to save the rest of them too?”

“Of course I did. And I will. At least if I have anything to say about it,” you said quietly, your stomach turning at the thought of the other spawn you’d left behind.

He turned from you as if you’d slapped him. “Right. I’m going to sleep in my own room. I should’ve been in there anyway, this was silly. Goodnight, darling.”

You chased after him in a heartbeat, catching up at him before he’d even managed to open his door. “Wait, what did I do? Astarion?”

He was an unstoppable force, storming into his own room.

“I don’t understand what I did,” you pleaded with him, desperate to fix it. You raked through your conversation, trying to dissect every word spoken, every facial expression. You found nothing. Shouldn’t he be happy you wanted to help them? It didn’t make sense to you.

He sat on his bed, one he’d never slept in, arms crossed and brows furrowed. When he spoke, there was a faux casualty to it, like he was trying to pretend none of it mattered to him. “I’m just making room for the next stray you let into your bed.”

You sat next to him, careful to keep your distance as you moved your head down to try and catch his eye. “You know I’m not replacing you, right?”

He huffed in response, turning away from you again.

You made sure to keep your tone gentle and soft. “You know I wouldn’t let just any vampire spawn sleep next to me, right? It’s because I care about you, it’s not just because you’re there. No one is replacing you and I promise there is enough of me to help people while also still being there for you. I will save as many of them as I can until I can rid this world of Cazador but you’re not just Cazador’s victim, you’re my friend.”

He turned to you suddenly. “Stop saying that. Stop saying you’re going to hunt down Cazador. If he catches wind of any of this you’re dead. At least, if you’re lucky you’ll be dead. And then where will I be?”

“Hey, I’ve been doing this a long time. I know what I’m doing, we all know what we’re doing. He’s not going to get me.”

“That’s why you made that deal, is it? Did all the other hunters he slaughtered know what they were doing too? You aren’t a threat to him, you are a nuisance. You need to stop,” he snarled.

You couldn’t stop. You both knew that, could see it as clear as day.

Instead, you just said a quiet, “Come on, come to bed,” and walked out of the room.

He trailed behind you, the unendable argument weighing heavy on the both of you, no more words spoken as he slipped under the sheets. You gave his hand a squeeze, trying your best to reassure him despite knowing it would never work. Not as long as he was still out there.

And then, as he leaned into your space, head brushing against your arm, something he’d been getting slowly more comfortable doing, something occurred to you that should have many days ago, back when he’d first arrived here. It was strange that he was here, now. Not just because of his uncomfortability with any sort of nonsexual closeness, but because of when it was.

Not only did elves not sleep the same way nor as long as humans did, but vampires slept during the day typically, to enjoy the night as best they could.

“I’m going to start sleeping during the day,” you said decisively. “That way we can keep doing this,” you said as you gestured around vaguely, “and you can go out, can do things with your waking hours. I’m sorry it didn’t occur to me sooner.”

His eyes widened. “You’d really let me leave?”

His surprise felt like a shard of ice through your chest. “Of course I would. You can do whatever you want. I’ll even do my best to help if you’ll ask me for it.” Another horrible thought struck you. “Wait, you didn’t think you could leave and you’ve been with me most nights. What have you been eating?”

“Whatever I could find. I make for wonderful pest control.”

Your heart sank. You should’ve considered this sooner, never put him through any of this.

“Here, drink from me,” you said, sticking out your hand. “I can get some bigger animals for you, keep them here so you don’t have to hunt for them if you’d prefer, but for now I will have to do.”

He hesitated, although his gaze was less suspicious than the last time you’d done this. Instead, he looked nervous. “You’ve… you’ve already done so much for me. I shouldn’t.”

“Astarion, you’re starving,” you said quietly, trying to reason with him.

“I’d rather not push it. Eventually, even your charity will run out.”

You shook your head. “It will not. It’s fine if you don’t believe me, I know it’ll take time, but I will keep being here for you until it sinks in. Promise.”

He laughed quietly, seeming more for himself than for you, something that had been happening more and more lately. “You underestimate my distrust, I think I could outlast you.”

You smiled back. “Challenge accepted. But until then, you need to eat.”

You held out your wrist for him, the marks from the last time just beginning to fade. He took it, gingerly, bringing it slowly to his mouth and watching your face for any apprehension.

You showed none, instead giving him a soft smile. “Go on. I don’t bite.”

That got a real laugh out of him. “That’s not funny.”

He pressed a soft kiss into your skin before sinking his fangs in, that sharp pain coming with a flutter of warmth inside your chest.

He was slower this time, more intentional as he drank. You couldn’t help but wonder if it was because he wasn’t as hungry or if it was because it felt less like his meal might be ripped away from him unceremoniously.

He didn’t get as lost in it this time, eyes flicking up to meet yours, checking in on you.

You didn’t even get the chance to try and tell him you were feeling woozy before he drew back, pulling a handkerchief you hadn’t even noticed off the side table to wrap around your wrist.

“Wouldn’t want to get our sheets all bloody,” he said as he knotted it tight around your wound.

Your hands moved slowly as soon as he released them, reaching up towards his face and giving him plenty of time to back away.

For a moment, when he first saw you reaching for him, he pulled back and you were ready to retreat and shower him in endless apologies when, as suddenly as he’d moved away, he leaned into your touch.

Gentle hands cradled his face, ones he’d flinched away from but a moment before. He leaned into them openly now, unabashedly, making a home between your palms.

He was warmer like this, with your blood rushing through him.

You pulled him closer as his head tucked right under yours, your fingers carding gently through his hair.

“I’m not going anywhere,” you whispered, barely loud enough to reach his ears, and you had no idea if he believed you.

You doubted it, doubted that you’d been able to break through all those years of his living hell so quickly. His walls had been carefully constructed for a reason, and you understood why he was so hesitant to break them down. You couldn’t blame him, would never blame him.

It didn’t really matter. You’d keep trying either way.

#astarion #astarion x reader #vampire x reader #baldurs gate astarion #bg3 astarion #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #astarion ancunin #astarion needs a hug

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shima-draws · 2 months

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I've been teasing her for months!! But at long last her ref is complete 🌷

I actually DON'T have a 5 page essay on her backstory this time (like I did for Ilari LMAO) but I do have some info about her if anybody is curious!

Name: Ione

Age: 25

Hair color: Silver

Eye color: Orangish-yellow

Element: Light

Grabbing info from the few posts I've talked about her already, Ione was originally a very famous singer, pretty much an idol within the world of ATS. She'd hold huge concerts that were always sold out and people from around the world would flock to see her perform. Eventually tho all of the attention started to attract the wrong kinds of people, and sooner or later Ione was "scouted" by a very rich man who wanted her all to himself. She was manipulated and blackmailed into signing a contract with him that would essentially end her touring and make it so that she would become a private singer for him. He basically chained her with this contract and so she disappeared from the public eye.

Ione soon discovered that other people with similar talents had also been gathered and trapped by this man's contracts. Among them was a prodigy violin player who she grew very close with. The two of them struggled under the demands of this man, and eventually violin boy started to get physically abused by him 😭 Things escalated to the point where Ione decided she wanted OUT and was determined to do anything to escape. This led to a very...traumatic event that caused her to go mute by choice.

When Ione finally makes her escape, thankfully she's changed so much that people don't recognize her in public (mostly her hair! It used to be short and didn't cover one of her eyes before). Shortly after she runs into Nahu and his group, and is unceremoniously recruited to join them lol (Nahu can be VERY persuasive). Ione communicates with them through sign language, which luckily a couple of them are fluent in--Ezio and Sage to be specific. They then teach the others in the group sign language too. It takes Nahu a bit to get the hang of it bc he has like, no attention span whatsoever, but being a dragon elemental helps since his senses are super attuned all the time, so he can generally tell what Ione is feeling and what she's trying to convey when she talks to him :")

Over time Ione grows closer with them, and like everybody else is hit with the Found Family, and realizes that yeah. She'd do absolutely ANYTHING for this group of crazy weirdos. She starts to fall in love with Nahu (bc who WOULDN'T), and slowly gains the courage to use her voice again. This leads to secret meetings with Sage, who helps her relearn how to use her vocal cords.

Eventually her past catches up with her, of course, but the group all bands together to set her free from it. She has to face off against violin boy, who thought she'd abandoned him and got Messed Up Mentally as a result, so THAT'S a thing she's gotta deal with. But she's able to reach him by singing for the first time in over five years, and everyone absolutely loses their shit at how beautiful her voice is and they all cry and it’s very emotional!!

Even after regaining her voice she still prefers to stay quiet most of the time, as that is what she's comfortable with, but she's totally okay with speaking when she needs to. Also I need to mention this but bc she used to be like. An idol. Obviously her routines consisted of both song and dance so she's a pretty good dancer. Out of everyone in the group, Ione is the ONLY person Ezio will dance with (and he is a very VERY good dancer himself, but will only dance with someone who can keep up with him, which Ione can). Everyone is very jealous of this, ESPECIALLY Nahu lol bc he wants to dance with Ezio too 😂

Ione's a light elemental! I haven't given a LOT of thought into her powers yet but I do know that her singing makes her stronger and also gives her powers a boost, which in turn helps the rest of the group. She also can ride on these light waves--I will have to draw them sometime bc I can't really explain them in words, it'd be better to show them visually lol

And that's her!! My flower light mute girl <33333

#Original character #Character art #Character design #Fantasy #Flowers #Character reference #OC art #Art #Digital art #Shima arts #Shima's OCs #Among the Stars #ATS #Ione #IDK HOW ELSE TO TAG THIS ONE LOL #shima-draws

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alpaca-clouds · 7 months

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What's going on with Drolta?

Alright, I kinda promised @g-vlssz to also write down some historical context for this femme fatale. And admittedly she is the hardest character to figure out in this regard. Because we do not know a lot about her.

Don't get me wrong: We know two things about her. She is from Ancient Egypt and she was a priestess of Sekhmet. It stands to assume that she is also the reason, why Eszebet got to drink from Sekhmet.

Here is the issue: Ancient Egypt is a thing that was around for 3000 years. The oldest definite proof of worship of Sekhmet we have dates back to the 14th century BC. And as far as I know the last temple build for her was erected in the 1st century AD. So, we have a good 1500 years during which people definitely prayed to Sekhmet - and during which Drolta could theoretically have been created.

Given that we do not know how long vampires are around in the world of Castlevania, we also cannot use that information to somehow narrow it down. (I mean, according to Katie Silva Morana was from Ancient Sumer, which fell around 1750 BC.)

And once again, there is just the fact: Religions change over the centuries. The way we worship changes.

One way to go about is to look at her Blackness and make some interpretations about that, given that Egyptians usually are not Black but Arab. But... historically speaking this is a huge, huge controversy. Because whether or not Ancient Egyptians were Black is a big, big disccussion to this day. And to be honest: I am not gonna throw my hat into that ring.

There is one line, Drolta says, though, that makes me think that she might actually go back to about 1200 BC. Because she remembers her time as a priestess with the "smell of dead bodies". (I don't quite have the full quote there right now. But something along that lines.) And that one stood out to me, because the Egyptians were not that big on human sacrifice (outside from Retainer Sacrifices). Usually Sekhmet would get sacrificed either goats or bulls, but not humans. But... there is some kinda shacky evidence that while Egypt was having a war with the Hittites, which ended up very, very bloody, some prisoners of war got actually sacrificed to Sekhmet.

Going through all I have on Ancient Egypt and Sekhmet, this is the one instance I can find where there is (even though shacky) evidence of human sacrifice to Sekhmet.

But again, it is kinda hard to say.

Something that might play into her motivations, though, is the colonial history of Egypt. Which is a bit more complicated than a lot of white folks, who don't do history, give it credit for. Egyptian culture and mythology is fascinating. It is. Kid!me was not the first person who looked at that and was entranced. No, that goes back to even Ancient times when Greeks and Romans looked at Egypt and had the exact same reaction. Which makes it so complicated. Because, of course, colonialism of Egypt started a long, long time ago with the Greeks and Romans.

But... It was kinda different back then, mostly because Egyptian culture might have gotten mixed up with some of the Roman and Greek customs, but the Romans and Greeks never forbid or even much restricted Egyptian worship. Quite on the contrary, as they took up some of the gods, especially Isis, who became very popular both in Greece and Rome.

Now, if you are wondering: Why did worship of the Egyptian gods even end? You should know the answer: Christians.

See, the Romans were very okay with the worship of the Egyptian gods. Because they were polytheistic. But then along came Constantin, who not only moved the capital of Rome from, well, Rome, to Constantinople, but also made Christianity the main religion of the Byzantine Empire. Originally they kinda sorta still allowed other worship, but then along came Emperor Theodisius, who in line with his name was very much not okay with it. Not only did he had soldiers burn down temples throughout the Empire, he also forcefully converted people to Christianity. (As in: "Convert or die" forcefully.) Something people later would call the Heathen Hunts.

And with that... Well, with that the Egyptian gods became forbidden to pray to. Now, there were later again and again attempts to bring the worship back, but even after Egypt was no longer part of the Empire, it had Muslim rulers. And while Muslims at the time were mostly okay with Christians and Jews hanging around and doing their thing, they were often not as cool with the polytheistic worship of some other cultures.

And yeah, no matter what time Drolta comes from... She probably was there when they burned down the Sekhmet temples. And yes, she very much also was there when the Europeans came to Egypt and plundered the graves to then (ugh) fucking consume bits of mummy or use mummies in their paints.

So, like... If, after all of that, she decided "vampire messiah is gonna punish all the humans" sounded actually fairly good... I would not exactly hold it against her.

And that is all without going into the "she was probably Sekhmet's guardian the entire time or something" thing, that clearly is implied by the text.

#castlevania #castlevania netflix #castlevania nocturne #castlevania drolta #drolta #ancient egypt #sekhmet #colonialism #christianity #byzantium

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sugurusdiscordmoderator · 5 months

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Gamer Girly - part 2

link to part one • link to master list

cw: alcohol, bisexualness, idk me being half gay

MDNI 18+

not proof read, literally wrote this bc of my insomnia and not being able to sleep tonight

You and Geto texted to plan a FaceTime call in a few days as it worked for his schedule and you were beyond nervous. Even going as far as using your whitening strips and getting your eyebrows done. You planned it for Thursday evening, a time after Geto’s stream was over, before you, Utahime, and Haibara were about to go out to bars for Thirsty Thursday with your fake ID’s. You did your makeup and hair while listening to the squads stream rehearsing in your head what you think Geto would say. You picked out a black crop top and a short denim skirt to wear paired with your vans. As they wrapped up their stream you started feeling anxious and took a shot of a vodka mini bottle you had lying around your apartment to calm some nerves. As you swallow some orange juice as a chaser your phone buzzes from your desk.

‘hey just wrapped up, let me know when you’re free and I’ll shoot you a call. :)’

god texting him felt like you were flirting in high school all over again like a giddy innocent girl.

you set your macbook up on your desk so you could have a better view of him for the FaceTime.

‘sure, ready whenever you are!’ You respond.

Your anticipation leads to sweaty palms and sipping a white claw that was left in your fridge at some point as you pace around your bedroom, making sure everything in the background is okay.

your ringtone from your laptop goes off rather loud and you quickly sit at your desk but don’t press the answer button too soon. The 10 seconds it takes the call to load seems like years as you bounce your leg under your desk.

“hey!” You both speak at the same exact time, as you nervously giggle.

“How are you?” Comes out of both your mouths at the same time again.

“I’m sorry, you first,” you say as he chuckles with his eyes squinted close in the most precious way.

“I’m great, happy to be done streaming for the night and getting ready to go out with some friends, how about you?”

“I’m also going out with some friends for once! We don’t go to bars a whole lot but wanted to try one tonight. Other than that great now that I actually get to speak with you,” you admit, blushing.

“Yeah about that, this moderator thing is pretty easy, mainly the thing you have to watch out for on my discord is people sexualizing Shoko. She’s started to get butthurt about how she’s ‘more than a pretty face’” he rolls his eyes sarcastically.

“Oh yeah of course…” you pause, “are you guys like dating or…?” You close your eyes not believing you just fucking asked that.

“Oh no no, she’s been Satoru and I’s best friend all through high school. We taught her to play and she has pretty much gotten better than us.”

“Satoru?”

“Oh sorry yes that is Gojo’s first name, we all go by our last names on the stream.”

“Oh yeah okay, makes sense,” you glance over at the notepad sitting next to your laptop wondering if you should be taking notes.

“I have to admit there’s not really a whole lot that goes into it, I just wanted to see you over FaceTime.” He grins, lighting up a blunt and casually looking at his screen to see your reaction.

He can’t be flirting with you…right? You decide to take the ball in your court, “well what can I say, I’m only one of your most devoted fans,” winking at him and hoping you don’t seem too lame.

He chuckles, taking a long puff of his blunt and passing it to someone off the screen.

You dare to ask, “also sorry if this is too personal to ask so soon, but I saw your area code is close to where I go to college, can I ask where you’re from?”

He looks like his brain is trying to fit pieces together for a moment, looking up at the person he passed the blunt to. “Uh, yeah I’m from Shibuya and I go to university here.”

Your jaw drops, “like University of Shibuya?”

“Yeah, are you familiar with it?” He asks.

“I’m a junior here! I had no idea you guys were from around here or went to the same school!”

You hear Gojo in the back whisper “oh my fucking god”

Suguru shoots daggers at Gojo, still off screen, and doesn’t know what to say.

“We don’t have to meet up or anything if you’re uncomfortable with it! We can just pretend like we didn’t talk about this,” you blush nervously thinking he was put off by something you said.

“No, no, I mean it would be great either way. Just was a little surprising that’s all.” He responds, no longer looking around for Gojo, just focusing on you on his screen.

“Yeah well I’ll promote you to a moderator tonight and have the other mod text you to kinda explain the situation.” The dark haired mystery man smiles awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. “Oh and the pay, uh how does $20 per hour sound?”

“Yeah sure whatever you’re willing to pay I’ll take it!” you say almost too eagerly. You knew mods got paid kind of well but you didn’t know it was this good. If he streams 7 days a week for 2 hours, that’s already $280 a week. Plus the time you spend in discord on the chats.

“Okay well I’ll be in touch…” he trails off and you can’t tell if he’s either high or just uninterested in your conversation. (In reality Gojo had a girl sitting on his lap sucking his face off and Suguru was trying to decide if he was disgusted or turned on)

“Yeah, thank you for picking me! Look forward to talking with you,” you say hoping he’s not regretting his choices noting that he got a little awkward after the talk about being local arose.

“Yeah, see ya,” he says too casually with hardly a hint of a smile on his face. You click the ‘end call’ button and sigh. It seems like this unobtainable crush you had on suguru for the past 9 months was still just that. Why had you never seen him around town or campus? Granted, it was a really big school and everything but never once had you seen him, by god you would remember that face.

You snap out of your trance back to your white claw and scroll to find your texts with Utahime while you down the can

‘your place in 10?’ you text her.

‘Yes, sorry kinda last minute but some of haibara and i’s other friends are going to come too’ she texts back and you groan, not in the mood to meet new people.

The thought of having to be social enough to go to the bar was anxiety inducing, but now having to actually meet people before you’re drunk? You grab two more of the mini bottles of vodka you have in your freezer downing one and shoving the other in your pocket for when you get to Utahime’s apartment.

You walk into her unlocked flat without knocking, being too in your head from the FaceTime call and what it meant. Utahime is sitting on the counter, Haibara between her legs as they are making out passionately. Her arms wrapped around his neck, legs spread in her skirt so Haibara (and you) can see her turquoise panties.

“Oh I’m sorry,” you giggle staring at the scene in front of you. “I thought you were expecting me.”

Utahime, obviously embarrassed jumps down from the counter acting like nothing happened and walks over to give you a hug. Wearing a blue skirt, white shirt, and red bow in her hair she looks as cutely innocent as ever. You looked about as opposite as her as possible with your ripped denim skirt, black crop top revealing your cleavage just perfectly, and black and white checkered vans.

“How did the call go?” She asks as Haibara excuses himself to the bathroom trying, but failing, to hide his boner from their make out session.

“Great but I have news about like the four of them -“ you’re cut off by a knock at the apartment door.

In walks a girl with white hair, a black button up black mini skirt, with knee high socks. She was accompanied by two average looking men, obviously whipped by her aura.

“Mei Mei!” Utahime runs over to her and gives her a hug. You’re a little taken aback by the warm welcome this new girl received versus your very awkward one. Well I guess that’s what you get for not knocking.

Haibara comes out of the bathroom looking like he just splashed cold water on his face and neck, “Bayer, Kokun, good to see you.” Walking up to them to dab them up.

You take this opportunity to down the mini bottle in your pocket and take a sip of Utahime’s sprite she left sitting on the counter. Sheeeeesh, three mini bottles and a white claw in before you even leave for the bar? You’re feeling pretty good and confident. Walking in on the couple’s make out session made you realize how long it had been since you got any action. Besides your vibrator working over time, usually after Geto’s streams.

You force yourself out of your thoughts and walk up to the trio chit chatting with the couple and introduce yourself. “Hey I’m y/n” and extend your hand to shake.

“Nice to meet you, y/n, Utahime has told me a lot about you.” Mei Mei says in her naturally sultry voice. Your eyes nervously look at Utahime, consider she had never mentioned this attractive white haired woman to you before.

“We’re new friends, she just moved in down the hallway and these two guys helped her move in.” Utahime says reading your mind.

“Ah nice to meet you, I’m just a few floors up if you ever need anything.” You respond.

“All we’re missing is Yuki right?” Mei Mei asks as she directs her attention to Utahime.

“Yeah but who knows if she’ll show up. I’ll text her to just meet us at the bar.”

With that, the group heads out to go to one of the dive bars in the city, a little place with karaoke on Thursdays. Supposedly Mei Mei knows the bouncer quite well, walking up first in the crowd to whisper something in his ear, finger trailing down his chest. You’re not sure what she said to him, only that his cheeks turned red and he let the 5 of you in without checking your IDs at all. From what you heard this place didn’t let fakes in very easily so you wonder what could have bribed that man. You grab a high top table in the back near the pool tables with Utahime and Mei Mei as the 3 boys go to grab you drinks.

“Can we sing a girls song together?” You propose to the two.

“Y/n are you drunk already? You’d never suggest that sober.” Utahime raises her eyebrows at you.

“How about the spice girls?” You ask ignoring her question. Mei Mei nods with a slight smirk. As you go up to put your name on a slip of paper the boys come back with the drinks. The DJ winks at you and you immediately regret your decision.

A few songs later and it seems your drink is gone, listening to the boys talk about sports and video games, as the two girls chat about their one annoying neighbor on their floor that has the loudest sex imaginable.

You walk up to the bar and stand patiently next to a tall beautiful blonde woman.. you try not to stare as the bartender comes over to her and asks her order. “I’ll take a whiskey and ginger ale, and whatever this girl is having.” She smirks pointing her thumb over to you. “Vodka cran please,” you squeak out to the bartender, nervously smiling at her.

The man goes to make the drinks as she sticks out her hand, “Hi pretty, I’m Yuki.”

“Oh you’re Yuki! Friends with Mei Mei and Utahime?” You stumble out the words remembering her name from earlier.

“Sorry, I’m y/n. I’m here with them tonight, I can take you to them if you’d like?”

Yuki leaves her card with the bartender and hands you your drink. “After you,” she smiles taking the first sip of her drink looking you up and down smugly. You grab her free hand with her vape in it and weave from the bar back to the table you all had claimed.

“I found someone you guys may know?” You shyly interject trying to be funny. The whole group erupts into various versions of “Yuki! Oh my god so good to see you!” She props herself up on the last open barstool at the table. Baggy red cargo pants and a black crop top, no bra with nipple piercings pretty obvious. She catches you staring and nods her head in a “come here” kind of way.

“So what’s your type?” She asks.

“Uh what?” You question back.

“What’s your type of woman?…or man I guess.” She eyes you up and down as if trying to determine your sexuality.

“Uh… I like long hair? And someone who can have a good time?” You’ve never had to answer that question on the spot so you think your answer was decent enough.

She lets out a chuckle and takes another sip of her drink. “So you’re not playing for a single side I’m hearing.” She smirks and puts her arm around your shoulder.

“Yeah I guess not” you smile back realizing how close your faces are.

Just then the DJ announces the next karaoke names, “y/n, Utahime and Mei Mei are going to sing us Wannabe by the Spice Girls!”

“y/nnnn” a tipsy Utahime grabs your hand and starts rushing you three to the stage. One thing you forgot about this place is you have to take a shot before singing. You three take your shots of what tastes like battery acid, stinging going down and trying not to think about it as the music starts.

The 90s classic song gets ever girl in the bar singing and dancing at the edge of the stage and you see Haibara behind the crowd video taping your performance.

Your words are starting to slur slightly and you are just having a great time feeling like a pop star. You swear up in the balcony of the bar you see a white head of hair jamming out and screaming the words but hey everyone’s having a good time!

The song comes to a close and the three of you get escorted off stage. You split from the two and say “I’m going to step outside to smoke for a second,” as you do when you drink.

You walk up to the back door of the bar and as you go to push, you feel someone else pull. With the alcohol in your system, your reaction time is a little delayed. Before you know it you are falling forward towards the gravel with your arms out.

“Oh Jesus Christ” you mumble out assessing the damage while you sit up so you are on your knees. Only a few scrapes as the person on the other side of the door comes up to you and puts a hand on your back.

“Oh my god are you okay I’m sorry,” you hear a familiar voice. Too familiar.

You turn around to meet amber eyes inches from your face.

“Geto?” Your jaw drops.

—

A/N I had to go through my archives to see what someone would wear to a bar in 2018 😭 and look up a discord mods hourly pay on google 😭 also had a bi panic moment w Yuki and Utahime and MeiMei as usual if you can’t tell

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loveyourownsmiilee · 2 years

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Is there anyway you can put everything relating to buck getting into a coma into one post because I haven’t heard about this

Ok so basically you prob haven’t heard of this bc I’m the only one who has been talking about this lol. It all started when Ryan posted that fucking thirst trap on 9/29/22. I was wondering why he would post it and caption it season 6 vs season 3 (he posted the pic and then one from the fighting ep in s3). So I was looking at the photo and it came to me that the reason he posted it with his arm tattoo covered must mean it was for the show.

So I made this post initially bc I was just analyzing reasons as to why he would post that.

Then I answered an ask on why I think Ryan working hard on his physique and showing it off for the show is important. Like why does a 30-something year old single dad need to look that ripped for the show? Unless…unless that body is a part of someone else’s fantasy. Someone who may or may not be unconscious and in a possible coma.

The fact that they were filming at the beach 2 weeks ago was very weird to me bc we had a bts of Kenny and Aisha with the ambulance. Ryan posted photos confirming he was at the beach during sunset.

And then we got a confirmation Oliver was there bc they posted a pic of Buck in his jeep driving away from the beach. There was also a video in which Gavin (Chris) was seen with a surfboard so we know Eddie, Chris, and possibly Buck were all at the beach. All this is supposed to be happening in ep 6.07 “Cursed”.

Then we got confirmation that there’s a famous singer, who based off bts is named Felisa, will be on that episode. This is a singer in which “Eddie gets involved with” during an emergency. Not romantically of course but these were words Peter Krause chose when explaining upcoming wacky emergencies.

Now I was speaking to @ktinastrikesback one evening and we were trying to make sense of everything we’ve seen so far. I answered an ask with our half baked speculation. Then I went back and made an actual post expanding on how I thought the episode would actually turn out.

It is also very important to note the lack of Oliver filming with everyone else. Yesterday he spent the majority of the day at home. We know this bc of his IG behavior all day long. We got bts that Peter, Aisha, and Kenny were on set in their uniform. So we know they’re filming a call. Could be a medical call where Buck and Eddie aren’t needed but still. The girl who plays the singer was also filming and she was injured in the morning.

Then Cocoa Brown reappeared and she was on set to film in the afternoon. Again Oliver was believed to be home. Cocoa posted a bts with herself and Ryan at the end of the evening. I made a post on my speculation as to how it seems suspicious that everyone happened to be filming yesterday while Oliver was no where to be spotted. Usually when he’s on set, someone posts him some how, some way. It’s also important to note that the last time there was this much secrecy about bts was when they were filming 4.13 & 4.14 which is why there was a lack of Ryan in any bts.

So I made a post on her return and what it can mean for Eddie and possibly Buck. I’ve also answered a few asks about the possibility of Buck being in a coma. In this ask I explain why the moment they changed the title on 6.08 to “9-1-1 What’s Your Fantasy?” I speculated a fantasy dream sequence was a possibility. And in this ask I expand a bit on why I would want to see Buck in a coma.

Basically, to sum everything up, I don’t know what exact route they’d go but ideally here is why I believe we may get a coma!Buck.

We know in 6.04, Buck may possibly get hit by a car when he takes the bicycle and goes after the drunk driver. The way it’s been promoted and teased screams that’s what they want us to believe when in reality he’s gonna be fine. Now I think that’s a massive foreshadowing for what’s to come later on in the season.

It makes sense if he gets away scratch free in 6.04 when he’s being a reckless and selfless idiot, only to get injured severely in an episode called “Cursed” when he wasn’t doing anything to put himself in any danger. I think him getting injured in 6.07, thus leading up to 6.08 “9-1-1 Whats Your Fantasy?” makes a lot of sense. He’s on this journey of self discovery and happiness. He needs to figure out who he is outside of his job. He needs to figure out who makes him happy and with whom he is most at ease.

Now if this serious injury occurs and he’s in a coma, I can see this fantasy sequence being his utmost desires. Possibly seeing how happy he is when he’s with the Diaz boys and maybe even realizing how attracted to Eddie he is, hence the shirtless sexy moment of Eddie’s ripped bod. I think this injury has the potential to be a massive wake up call for both himself and Eddie. I can only imagine how beside himself Eddie will be knowing his partner got injured when he wasn’t even trying to be expendable. And I think it’ll serve his whole journey some purpose to have him wake up and realize that he is at ease when he’s with Eddie. I want him to have his little “Oh, it’s you. It’s always been you” moment. I want him to realize he has a family and people who care for him deeply. Now idk if I’m onto something or so far away from what actually is in the plans for this half of the season. But these are all my thoughts on why I think Buck can possibly be in a coma this season.

#juju answers #anon asks #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 spoilers #911 speculation #jujus having thoughts #look I may be completely off base which is totally fine #plz don’t come for me if this seems too crazy for you #this is just where my brain went and I think it’s a possibility #we shall see #also I should be packing but here I am

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rinug · 11 months

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Unforgettable

A/n:I hope it's kinda more accurate bc I've seen little parts of blade's lore and stuff, I hope I did not make any mistake.

Blade x gn reader

Even though you are a long life species, you lost your memories in an accident, forgetting the most important or heart warming parts of your life. Jing yuan, who you consider as an older brother was by your side all the time telling you memories and everything you needed to know a little by little so you wouldn't get stressed. After getting most of your memories back you also found out you had a lover, a best friend and a brother. By time now you had found out their names Jing yuan, of course is the one you called a brother which he actually is, Imbibitor Lunae is the one you call your best friend. But you still can't recall your lover's name. "ugh, I still can't recall his name but every time I take a walk around here I see those wanted posters and that man in the picture seems like my body recognize him." you said with a little panic in your voice waiting for Jin yuan's answer, only the silence from him you could count as an answer." I see, well it's time to tell you all about him" he said, as he sounded a little hesitant to say it. "do you recall to have heard someone called Ren?" he asked, you thought a little and both your body and brain tells you that you did, so you nodded your head. By that you heard a sigh from him "Ren was a mortal but he was part of the little group I mentioned last time, and for Imbibitor Lunae to say that he was a great warrior wasn't often. So he introduced us to him, most of the time you would meet him he has injuries because he was a reckless warrior. After spending so much time together with him, helping him with his injuries, training with him you both gained feeling for each other, you both wouldn't stop saying it as long as the other wasn't in front. You were training, to perfect your sword skills, I and Imbibitor Lunae was watching you and later on Ren came too. We encouraged him to speak to you about his feelings and once we saw you guys hugging with the dust of pink on your faces we knew that finally you are together with him. At some point though it was all good, there was a war you couldn't participate in, Ren and Imbibitor Lunae came back. Ren running to hug you after so much time, you noticed something was wrong, so you asked them, they told you that by accident Imbibitor Lunae made Ren Immortal, with all of that stress you had, waiting for them to come back and then what he did to Ren, you had gone to a war and almost got killed, you were in a coma for years, some of the best healers always by your side and with Ren his mind corapted, he couldn't take it, he disappeared one day and then two years later you woke up, as to how you are now, lost of all your memories, Imbibitor Lunae dying and being reborn and Ren being out in the open and now the one in the wanted posters. Also known as Blade." he said with small break of his voice here and there after recalling all his memories but also being afraid how you'll take it and react. Your breath had hitched a long time, almost panting, your body confirming that what he said was true." I need some time to rethink all that but if possible can I meet him?" you said, your voice trembling but it was quite. Jing yuan had a sympathetic expression and nodded. You got up from the chair and went to your room to lie down rethinking all that but also to recall the memories.

A/n:I hope you like it and also I'll make it into a real story in wattpad. I'll leave my account name there so you can find it and check it out.

#blade hsr #Hsr #Honkai star rail #I'm so in love with blade no joke #Blade x reader

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alexa-crowe · 4 months

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i have to laugh bc i saw someone say mystra "was done so dirty in bg3" like LMFAO the last mystra literally had wizards duking it out with each other to become her chosen or whatever and then it got so bad that eventually one of the mystra's was like "alright this sucks ass now nevermind". and then there was the time mystra possessed a mortal woman and had seven daughters as her with the woman's husband and that fucking killed the woman and the husband abandoned them bc he'd had no idea and then mystra saddled elminster with the youngest three. the wizard fights was how azuth became mystra's chosen and then mystra's daughters (who aren't aasimar like aylin, just very powerful wizards/sorcerers) are also her chosen, though i think two of them are dead now. and she ALSO put elminster through a bunch of bullshit tests and started like right after his whole family was murdered or whatever so like that man can have his cheese from my camp, i'll chew him out later. and like yeah all that was from the first mystra but one of the first things this new mystra has done is wreck gale so i don't think that speaks highly to her character nor is out of line with previous incarnations. she may be "neutral good" but only as it pertains to her portfolio, in my view - she is "good" for protecting magic and the chaos of some actions cancel out with the lawfulness of her stringent rules for the use of magic. AND even if she was basically dead for most of gale's life and they only met "face to face" thirteen years before the events of the game and started dating then, when gale was already an adult, i would still consider it grooming. he was raised in a society - especially in waterdeep bc it's a center of magic - that venerates "good" aligned gods because they're literally irrefutably real. gale was obviously taught to value the weave and hold great respect for mystra, he attended one of the most prestigious academies of magic, and he was mentored by elminster himself. he was in a unique position to be used by mystra as wizards before him had been used - notably elminster himself, but also literally azuth, the patron lesser deity of wizards. (and the letters elminster sends to gale in his origin and if he becomes a god speak to the guy holding so much guilt for being party to the abuse gale faced - that he should have done more to prevent gale's downfall, especially bc he is one of mystra's survivors.) and then azuth's last line in the series of books in bg3 about the gods is literally about forever yearning for mystra. so then gale wasn't even pulling the idea of getting more power out of his ass or anything, someone else was given power/allowed to obtain it to the point of becoming a god in service to mystra. he disobeyed mystra's boundaries for using magic/gaining power, yes, but in his origin when you talk to mystra and say "i just wanted to be worthy of you" or w/e she says that gale was already worthy and just lacked patience. so again he wasn't even told a solid no it may have been more of a "no right now" no. (i say maybe bc atp mystra might just be gaslighting gale, trying to pretend that she hadn't been 100% forever and ever denying him, i wouldn't put it past her.) of course what's taken into account for deciding godly alignment is going to be a bit different than for beings without a godly portfolio. like!!!!! mystra can be dead in my eyes and still have neutral good alignment as a goddess bc for her most of all it's fucking complicated, seeing as she is like... the lifeblood of the realms or whatever. anyways. to end this... long-winded rant. part of what make's gale's story and romance so compelling is that he's completely correct when he says that the gods don't truly care about mortals, that they just cower behind ao. they can't really care bc they forget what it's like to be mortal, they depend on having mortal souls. they are just dressed up devils, dealing in souls. no good is wholly "good." they all have the power to save lives, to change lives for the better, yet squalor remains. it's an imperfect universe. compelling!

#baldur's gate 3 #dnd #rambling #i have no idea (as per usual) if any of this is coherent lol

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dreamlandcreations · 2 years

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Hey 👋

I love your writing.

Can you write the bride ran away with Darkling?

Hi! Thank you 🥰

Flattering will get you everywhere 🤭 or it'll get you a little something bc requests are technically closed combined with @curi0usc4t's ask for Tradition

SEND ME A MADE-UP FIC TITLE AND I’LL TELL YOU WHAT I WOULD WRITE TO GO WITH IT

You got cold feet and you run away, didn't stop until the end of the forest, until you were safe at your hiding place.

He found you in the old cabin a few hours later, still crying so miserably, that it made him feel like someone is stabbed him through his heart.

Aleksander was so excited. After months of courting you, craving you to be his, you finally gave in when he proved you were more than just a fleeting crush or conquest and asked you to marry him, ready to bind himself to you as long as you both live.

The dress was beautiful and fit you perfectly, Genya had made sure everything looked flawless but she shouldn't have left you alone. You started to panic the second she left the bride's tent.

Now the dress was muddy and torn and you felt the guilt for ruining such a nice thing too but it was nothing compared to the pain at the thought of how your almost husband must feel when he found out you disappeared. Of course, you knew he could come looking for you and it wouldn't require much effort for the powerful warlock to find you.

You felt his presence long before he entered the place. Hearing him step closer, you chance a look at him but it only lasts a moment as you take in his crestfallen look and an awful sobbing sound leaves you before you start to apologise over and over.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry... " you keep repeating until he kneels before you and makes you look at him by tenderly holding your chin.

He cups your face with both hands, brushing away your tears with his thumbs, shushing you gently.

"I'm sorry. You don't have to go through with it. I'm sorry if you thought I would make you..." he started to explain, wanting to let you know that he'll set you free of the promise but you interrupted him.

"No," you said, mirroring his actions, impulsively drawing him closer, almost kissing him before you thought better.

"I just panicked," you laughed awkwardly, "I don't even know why. I just... I want to be with you but..." You couldn't form the feelings into words but it seemed it wasn't necessary.

"I love you, my little rebel." He smiled at you with still sad tear-tainted eyes and planted a kiss on your forehead before resting his there. "Nothing will change that. I finally found you even if I never knew what I was looking for, and I think you feel the same but we don't have to rush anything. I can wait, I can wait as long as you wish. I should have been more patient. I am sorry."

His words, his touch, his presence. It was enough to calm you down, all your worries and fear left you in a rush. You could finally think straight again.

"I want you." Your words stumble out, emphasised by a kiss. "Now." Another kiss. "Please."

Aleksander gets lost in the moment, practically drunk from your sudden affection, he gives in, kissing you with more hunger. He doesn't regain his sense until you start to tug at his clothes. Catching your hand, holding them in one of his while his other hand holds your neck possessively, lips brushing over yours as he speaks.

"Slow down," he commands, voice deeper and rough with desire.

"No." You give him that mischievous, rebel smile he fell for and steal another kiss before he bites your lip in warning and pulls away.

"I don't want you to regret it," he confesses.

"I will not let my fear guide me. I know what I want, Darkling." The confidence in your words and demeanour is the complete opposite of the state he found you in. You don't know what made him decide then, maybe he was as helpless to resist you as you were about him.

You had your first time then and there, in your safe place that you only found out much later was the home of your husband many, many years before he met you. Once, he lost a lover there, and you were happy to give him more pleasant memories about the place.

He wed you a day after you run away, in a quiet ceremony, deep in the woods where only the master of the ceremony and two witnesses were present. You shared blood and vows as tradition, making an oath that would give you an endless lifetime together.

SEND ME A MADE-UP FIC TITLE AND I’LL TELL YOU WHAT I WOULD WRITE TO GO WITH IT

#ask game #darkling #the darkling #darkling x reader #the darkling x reader #darkling x you #aleksander morozova x reader #aleksander morozova #general kirigan #general kirigan x reader #general kirigan x you #alternate universe

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burninlovebutler · 1 year

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GAH i didn't wanna do this bc im a gemini & i talk a lot if im unsupervised lol BUT YALL WERE POSTIN SOME SAPPY SHIT SO I WANTED TO JOIN (so sorry this is gonna be so long i apologize in advance)

this wasn't initially the road i was gonna take while talking about this but ofc if u read any of my writing or know me in any capacity, it shouldn't surprise you that we're getting sad lol

as i stood next to my partner watching the midnight fireworks last night, i had a fleeting thought -

16 year old me didn't think i'd still be here at 26 -

i didn't expect to still be on this earth in 2023

when i was around that age my home life was really shitty and abusive and lonely and my only saving grace at the time was the family i found within the one direction/5sos fandom. there were so many times then that my fandom friends saved me, literally.

i wouldn't be here today without them.

i stopped being in fandoms around 2016 and while i still have MANY long term close friends from that time, we all have gone our separate ways interest wise.

I didn't realize just how much i missed being a part of a community until i joined tumblr again. the austin/elvis fandom welcomed me with open arms & filled me with that same youthful joy and connection as i had when i was 16. and even BETTER bc this fandom has blown me away with how kind and gentle and loving it is

point is - i’m grateful that i AM still here, that i’ve been here long enough to meet you and experience this amazing fandom.

it's insane to me to think i would've never met some of the brightest stars of my days without walking into that theater that day. my year would've been so empty, lonely and sad without you all, so thank you all from the bottom of my cold lil heart - you all showed up in my life when i needed u the most

(something weird about this 1D -> Elvis/Aus pipeline is that when i went back to see the day i saw the movie the first time it was on July 23, aka the 1D anniversary 👀 lil weird)

i initially made this blog solely for my fanfic but i'm glad i branched out - though i still wanted to take the time to anyone who's interacted w my writings, even if it was just help with plot or moodboards. my heart skips a beat when my writing is a point of conversation.

thank you to the beauties who grace my dash everyday, even if we don't talk often 💖

@feverkitten @p-oolshark @pearlparty @avengen @presleys @mrsniallhoran505 @missmaywemeetagain @marooosa @eliseinmemphis @elvisabutler @lovininapinkcadillac @aconflagrationofmyown @austinsmutler @heartbrake-hotel @dre6ming @flwrs4aust @rosaminny @presleysdarling @woundmetender @rainydayz101 @ggwritesstuff @golden-kiwis @lattedreamer @weak-aesthetic @bcofl0ve

and of course to my almost daily babes, my days would be so empty without you all and my heart would be so deflated - i never thought i'd end up with a group like this

@succsessions @lllsaslll @cryingabtab @elvisfatass @loving-elvis @nora-nexus-34 @lavenderelvis @luluthesandgoose @powerofelvis @bisexualwvtson @samfangirls @lindszeppelin @infatuatedharleys @ab4eva @sagesolsticewrites @slowsweetlove @areacodefan @jelliedonut @steph-speaks @star-shard @foreverdolly @purejasmine @oh-my-front-door

and how could i ever forget the two that really roped me in @karamelcoveredolicity @troubleinapinksuit - even though it was through war, violence & lawsuits (lol) that our love was carved from, it is the most magical. i am so honored and so grateful to call you friends

one of my biggest goals for 2022 was to make new friends - ones who are reliable, kind, like-minded, supportive, generous, loving - because i was feeling so lonely & unloved, and to my surprise this goal was met ABUNDANTLY by you all, i really can not stress how much you all mean to me

extra special shout out to @bisexualwvtson for setting up the christmas card exchange, it was probably my favorite part of this holiday season - those cards made my whole christmas and i will cherish them forever

i love you all so much its DISGUSTING how much i love you - i don’t know how i would’ve made it through this year without you all - and it makes me so fucking sad when i think about all the memories that wouldn’t have happened without austin/elvis/you guys - it is because of you all that i have some of the best and happiest memories of this year, thank you ❤️

i hope that we are together for a long long time - i know that i am, i’m here for the long haul 💗 pls be in the nursing home with me breaking hips to Elvis songs

love, mel xx

(I APOLOGIZE IF IVE MISSED ANYONE I TRIED MY BEST TO REMEMBER EVERYTHING MY BRAIN IS TRASH SO IM SO SORRY PLS DONT BE OFFENDED IF I MISSED U I LOVE U)

#i love this fandom #i told y’all it was gonna be novel #IM A GEMINI WHAT DO U WANT FROM ME #happy new year #mushy mel #also so fucking sorry this is so late lol #pls this is just my brand #sorry this is so long lol #this is all over the place jesus #i’m so sorry y’all lol

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larytello · 6 months

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I don't see enough people (none at all) talking about these specific "the challenge of sleeping when it's way too hot" issues: People with sensory issues and people with physical "I have no control over it" issues.

Let me explain bc this is what's happening to me these last nights and it's making me exhausted all day long simply because I seem to NOT HAVE A SINGLE GOOD NIGHT OF SLEEP as of lately with all this heat. Under "keep reading" because it got a little longer than I expected.

1- I'm not sure if this should be counted as a sensory issue bc neurotypicals around me often invalidate it, but I don't sleep well if I'm not covered. Like, I don't feel safe, my brain just absolutely REFUSES to relax to allow me to rest. I need a cover, a blanket, no matter if it's big/heavy/fluffy or just the thinnest bedsheet ever - I just need something OVER me in order to feel ok enough to sleep comfortably. And this is a big issue™ when it's way too fucking hot at night and you can't cover yourself without melting in a sweat puddle sticking to your bed in a matter of a few minutes.

"Well, if it's so hot, you can turn on the fan or an AC if you got one!" Aaaaaand that's where we get into issue #2

2- Everytime I fall asleep, since forever, both my eyes and my mouth hang open. Really. My eyes stay half open when I sleep and I spend ALL FUCKING NIGHT not blinking as much as I should - they shouldn't even stay open when I sleep at all so there's that too. It's a wonder how I still don't need glasses and my sight is still somewhat perfect tbh. And of course there's nothing I can do about it. I'm asleep for fucks sake.

But then again, what happens when you have a fan or an AC on you while you sleep with eyes and mouth hanging open and you can't consciously keep them fucking shut as they should? They DRY. THEY FUCKING DRY. I wake up with eyes and throat stinging, dry saliva on the corners of my lips actively hurting them because when I move my lips upon waking up, they crack the skin and it HURTS as a bitch. I need to blink for several minutes, sometimes use eyedrops to help with my eyes, they hurt a lot too. And I hate the sensation of those eyedrops. They "taste" bad in my eyes.

So literally, during tropical summer plus global warming and the weather going crazier EVERY PASSING YEAR, every night is a not funny game of choosing if I keep the fan on and sleep with a cover (which makes me still feel like I'm melting even with the fan on me 🥵), or do I sleep without a cover for the temperature to be tolerable but then my body refuses to relax and I can't sleep well one way or another???? Btw I'm poor, my house doesn't have an AC, but I tried to sleep with an AC at my aunt's several times and I couldn't fucking SPEAK the next day. Which is a damn problem when you're a teacher.

And people wonder why I'm exhausted all day long lately. No wonder, I can't sleep well. Even if the fan is not directed to my head, the wind still goes around in the room and the slightest breeze is enough to dry my eyes when I'm not blinking them BECAUSE I AM ASLEEP.

Not to mention I'm currently STILL the sole provider of income to this house of three since 2019 by selling commissions (and I'm a slow artist at that) and only this year I got a "job" as an English teacher but I'm not paid not even a minimum wage because it's not an "official" job, it's more like internship and I get paid a certain amount for each class I teach in the period. It's nowhere near enough to cover the house bills, food and cleaning supplies (and medicine), I'm now panicking thinking about how Summer didn't even REALLY start yet here in Brazil but I'm already dreading the energy bills to come these next months as we're keeping two fans on in the house at almost all times. Also I don't get paid by the end of December and January because there's no classes to teach in this period. And still gotta wait to finally get paid by the end of February after teaching all month long. Three months without money while the Summer fries us and the bills will skyrocket.

Thank you big corporates who didn't give a fucking shit about global warming warnings in the previous decades, thank you global leaderships who keep doing those beautiful meetings with heartfelt speeches about how we need plans and action to slow down and/or cease the impeding doom but never did anything for real. It's always all words and no action. Guess you never thought you'd live to see the consequences of your lack of actions, huh? There's been a SANDSTORM in the Amazon Rainforest and the rivers are drying out killing animals AND PEOPLE and there hasn't been any rain in the RAINFOREST for over a month. The North and Northeast of South America are dying so hot it's been and it just keeps getting hotter. Two days straight Brasil beats its own record of energy consumption. Congratulations, really, you done fantastically fucked up I can't even think of words to describe it.

I've been awake for two hours and half and my eyes are still stinging.

#Rant #Global Warming #Brasil #Brazil #Sensory issues #Idk how else to tag this #I like summer NOT GLOBAL WARMING

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r95irth · 10 months

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It's my birthday today so i decided to be super self-indulgent and to design and name all Xiyao babies for the Jiaoren AU UvU

You might recognize name from other chinese novel bc i suck at naming.

Anyways i blame the insomnia earlier this week for the absurd number of babies and all that follow :

-1st baby is Jingyi of course, very proud, like chicken the most, his tail is white and blue but his skin has a yellowish glow. You know Jingyi he is pretty much like in canon.

-2nd Baby will be Rusong, who is very long (longer than Jingyi) and has A-Yao's hair floof. He is a lot like his uncle Wangji, (come on king give us nothing!!) probably a bit on the autistic spectrum. He likes to bite and chew on people and float on the pond.

-3rd baby is Haojun (name is Meng Shi 's chinese voice actor) She is very much like her grandmother and her tail color has pink/purple hue like Meng Shi's (but you see more the yellow and the blue). She likes her fathers the most and when A-Yao tried to make her float like a baby otter she cried when he disappeared and LXC had to swim and get her back

-4th baby is Haikuan (name of LXC's actor in CQL), he is a lot like LXC but with A-Yao's colors (yellow for the tails and brown hair) He seems always happy enthusiastic / kind and encouraging. He can be a bit exhausting sometimes because he gives everything his 100% Picture Drunk LXC. He also has the longest tail of all the guppies.

-5th baby is Zanjin (Name of JGY's actor in CQL) he is a lot like his father (A-Yao) but with black Lan hair, he likes shiny things and tiny animals, peace and quiet. He keeps gifting the people he loves with pearls and shells.

-6th baby is Lingwen (name from TGCF, Ling Wen, i hope the contraction is okay) - She is a quiet child, looks a lot like her Lan grandma. Her tail is blue and greenish. She looks super composed but she is the one that can hisses and bites you without a warning.

-7th and 8th are twins Yueyan and Qiyan (Qiyan is from a girl's love chinese novel) their tail are yellow and blue. Yueyan is very much like Lan Xichen and Qiyan a lot like JGY, very close they speak a language only they understand sometimes.

And last ones are 9th and 10th, twins Fengxi and Fuyao. The first human pregnancy JGY got and he was like "finally a human baby !! and he got somehow a dragon baby first. It wasn't a fun time in the labor room. Then he got Fuyao and Fuyao looked very much human and while JGY tried to get his dragon baby undercontrol LXC tended to Fuyao and Fuyao opened his mouth and showed VERY NIT HUMAN FANG (like picture the dragon in how i met your dragon, toothless and then suddenly POOF SHARP TEETH AND CHOMP)

LXC : ...Hm...I'm afraid this one is not completely human like you wanted A-Yao.

JGY : *looks at Fuyao as Fengxi decided he was going to live inside his father's collar robe* they're human enough. No more children.

(they will have more children maybe in 20 years or so but for now it's enough)

Fengxi does not like human, he only tolerates family and hides in his fathers' robe and sleeve all the time. He attacks people who harm his siblings. He likes to steal things that belongs to his family and hoard them all like it's treasure. He probably shifted into his human form the lastest among the guppies, probably near adulthood.

PS : they all have dimples and LXC is the happiest about it.

I also decided for the epilogues children of all the others ship and let me tell you...insomnia was strong.

Wangxian is definitely competing to have as many babies as Xiyao but for now they just say they're competing against ChengQingSang so they can say they're winning (JC's competitive strike is calmed down by his spouses)

#jiaoren au #birthday gift from me to me #all the babies for my ships

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sanderchu · 1 year

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Hii! I just read your Tommy fluff alphabet and I loved it :D could I request a dream one <3 fem!reader

Fluff alphabet

Dreamwastaken version

Note: I actually have two versions of a fluff alphabet- I’m scared to use it but I always can :) also I might stop using header it’s just to much time to look for ones I didn’t use than the writing itself- but I’ll see :)

A = Admiration (what do they absolutely adore about you?)

- the way you speak. He enjoys hearing you rant or speak about your interest to him like it will be your last. He will sit there for hours just to hear you speak and accidentally repeat yourself. He doesn’t care <3

B = Body (what is their favorite part of your body?) [not in a wrong way of course]

- he loves your chest/waist. He’s always trying to cuddle up on you and be all touchy. Always holding you in public that way

C = Cuddling (how do they like to cuddle?)

- he enjoys spooning you because of his height. Holding you is one of the best things he can ask for and enjoys every moment

D = Dates (what does their ideal date with you look like?)

- Dates Are probably Minecraft dates and if your ok with it he streams them and chat clips you guys being cute and flirty together

E = Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?)

- 50/50 at first hes calm and a bit tense but as the relationship goes by he’s more cheerful and excited just him because he knows he can be himself around you

F = Family (do they want one? If they do, when?)

- he probably wants a one kid but never really talked about it because he was scared of the topic

G = Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving? What are their habits when it comes to this?)

- if you give him gifts he’s so appreciative and demands he gets you something in return

- if he’s giving you gifts he gets you something expensive and always expects the “how much was it?” Scold but always thinks it’s worth it

H = Holding Hands (when/how do they like to hold hands?)

- a simple hand hold unless you guys are sitting down then he holds your hand from across the table like this:

I = Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?)

- if you got hurt he panics on who hurt you then what happened that you almost have to yell at him for help. But apart from that he’s gentle only because he’s scared to hurt you more

J = Jokes (do they like to joke around with or prank you? how?)

- he’s a jokester but is mainly trying to keep the relationship serious to be with you long (Bc he’s a simp) but is more open sooner or later so yeah

K = Kisses (how do they like to kiss you?)

- Very teasing and passionate no matter if there quick pecks or long ones before bed. He will kiss you other places but always tries to get to your lips before changing it to your forehead or cheek

L = Love (how do they show you they love you?)

- the act of words. He tries his best to show himself through his words. “I love you”, “your so perfect” stuff like that throughout the day

M = Memory (favorite memory together?)

- the day he actually felt like he was going to put a ring on you. The day he realized your the one

N = Nightmare (what is their worst fear?)

- the thought of a huge fight and both you snap in each other. He can’t lose you especially after the day he decided you were the one

O = Oddity (what is one quirk they have?)

- twirling your hair as you focus on something and he’s always so gentle you never feel it

P = Pet Names (what do they like to call you?)

- babe, dear, sunshine (just yes-)

Q = Quality Time (how do they like to spend time with you?)

- playing minecraft speed runs with you and he always sets up the map beforehand to get you to win

R = Rhythm (what song reminds you of them?)

Perfect -Ed sheeren

S = Secrets (how open are they with you?)

- super open after a while. Relationships take time so if you give him time he will be the most open person with you ever

T = Time (how long did it take you to get together?)

- 1 year he wanted to make sure he can commit and be the best for you that he can

U = Upset (how do they act when you’re upset?)

Very helpful and gets mad with you depending on what it is but apart from that he’s very comforting

V = Vaunt (Do they like to show you off?)

- before his internet he was careful but did show you off claiming you as his roommate until after his face reveal

W = Warrior (how do they feel about you fighting? Would they fight for you, beside you, etc?)

- he would protect you all the way, have you seen his height

X = X-Ray (how well are they able to read you?)

- super well. Before he picked you he notice and focused on your habits and moods to know exactly what to do without asking

Y = Yes (how would they propose to you?)

- at a beach or at twitch in a live panel, It just fits in a way

Z = Zen (what makes them feel calm?)

- compliments, he adores hearing them from you and just the right amount puts him into a trace of sleep

#dsmp imagine #dsmp scenario #dsmp x reader #dsmp #mcyt imagine #mcyt #mcyt x reader #scenario #dream x y/n #dreamwastaken x y/n #dream x reader #dream #dreamwastaken

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plushie-sentai · 5 months

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My Playlists // Jeramie Brasieri

More about each song below the cut bc I'm a music nerd and I love talking about the meanings behind a piece and how the songs are tied to a character to me :)

The Silence by Bastille

"Tell me a piece of your history that you're proud to call your own // Speak in words you picked up as you walked through life alone // we used to swim in your stories and be pulled down by their tide"

I think this song really speaks to Jeramie's relationship with storytelling, how he was alone for so long and his only connection to the people around him was their own relationship with his writings, specifically the legend of King Ohger. He was just writing the story as he saw it, a piece of his history, and it left a wake of destruction behind him that he didn't see until now.

Two by Sleeping at Last

"I will love you without a single string attached"

I just really love this album by Sleeping at Last, at least one song from Enneagram is on almost all of my character playlists. The album is nine songs written one about each enneagram personality type, so the idea is there kinda is one song that will really speak to each different personality type. I also love the imagery of "strings attached" in this song for Jeramie with the theme of webbing and being metaphorically and literally attached to the people he cares about. Jeramie is a force to be reckoned with emotionally, he cares deeply and intensely, and this song really encapsulates that vibe to me.

Poet by Bastille

"Now you'll live through the ages // I can feel your pulse in the pages // I have written you down // Now you will live forever"

I feel like... do I really need to explain this one? Its just about the idea of immortalizing a love, a story, a feeling in words that will last forever. Jeramie is all about this lol

Heirloom by Sleeping at Last

"This crooked posture is all you've ever known // It is the consequence of living in between // The weight of family and the pull of gravity"

"When you inhereted a fight that you were born to lose // It's not your fault"

Two lines from this one!! I had to include the line where they literally say "living in between" for the king of the in-between of course, but to me this song is all about Jeramie and his parents. He inherited a life riddled with prejudice that he should never have had to face, something his parents never would have wanted for him, but as opposed to the lyrics, it's a fight he's winning. He inherited so much more love and wisdom from his parents than anything else, and it's something he's very proud of.

Constellations by The Oh Hellos

"'Cause like constellations a million years away // Every good intention, every good intention // Is interpolation, a line we drew in the array"

This song is directly about the misinterpretation of scripture, of words lost in translation from hundreds of years ago. In general I cannot recommend The Oh Hellos' four seasons albums enough (Notos, Eurus, Boreas, Zephyrus), especially if you're like me and have some... extensive religious trauma lmao. The Oh Hellos write many many songs unraveling the religion they were raised in with respect and heart, and their works are truly beautiful poetically and musically. ANYWAYS. Constellations being about the misinterpretation of words written with intentions far gone from their current use really sticks to the whole "Jeramie writing the legend of King Ohger" thing well. Every good intention, or bad in the case of the people of Chikyuu, was simply an interpolation taken from the base writings Jeramie left for people to interpret.

Rounds by The Oh Hellos

"Be the Sun as my witness // Better prophets could pen // A thousand words for every chord // I could ever begin"

Welcome back to I love these albums by The Oh Hellos. Once again this has to do with Jeramie's storytelling, but I think on a deeper level this one is less about the misinterpretation and more about Jeramie's confidence in his own works, if what he's doing is right given what's happened, him being more aware of the effects his words have on people. Jeramie has been around for a long time, and in this time he's been through a lot and seen a lot, relived the cyclical history over and over. His writings are his life, his everything, and yet he always feels he could be doing more. Honestly, this one is kinda hard for me to articulate well on because it's just... the vibes are so right for him lol. The emotion is there.

I'm sure over time I'll add more songs to this playlist, but I hope you enjoy my silly analytical response to the songs I have for my beloved Mr. Jeramie Spiders who I think about a bit too often <3

#super sentai #king ohger #jeramie brasieri #my playlists #spotify #character analysis #Spotify

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blackbutler-readerinsertsandjunk · 2 years

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oooooft i so rarely request angsty things bc it hurts my feelings too much but those prompts are just so good. could you please do "there's something you need to know" and "i need you here, with me" (or "you won't go with me?" whichever you think fits better) for undertaker? its really great to see you active again i hope you're doing well 💜

𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭 \ sentence starter pack, i.

i need you here, with me.

you won’t go with me?

there’s something you need to know.

why not all three for extra angst?? :D

also dang u tryna kill me!!!

I’m doing pretty good, I hope you are too! <3

It’s strange that your lover wants you to meet him at a hospital.

Karnstein is one of the frequent customers for his mortuary, something he admits himself. UNDERTAKER isn’t anywhere around when you first arrive, either; you’re escorted up the stairs by a young man who introduces himself as Dr. Stoker. He assures you that your beau is waiting for you in the room he shows you to, and that he’s got exciting news.

You don’t have the faintest clue what that news might be. And why bring you to the hospital to talk about it?

But then Undertaker greets you with a kiss and whispers in your ear, “There’s somethin’ y’ need t’ know,” and your attention is paid in full to him.

He takes you from room to room on the top floor, showing off the ‘projects’ he’s been working on. The reasons he’s been away so often lately. Of course, he make sure to mention that credit is also due to others like Dr. Stoker. Without their help, he could never have gotten this far.

… Far enough to be raising the dead. Each room contains what he refers to as Bizarre Dolls, people he’s trying to revive ― most of them having been dead for a while. They’re in varying stages of resurrection, many of them being tended to by Karnstein’s doctors and nurses. The corpses’ eyes are covered without exception, and the medical staff are monitoring them with regular blood transfusions.

As he leads you through the halls, you don’t know what to think or how to feel. Much as you still love him, (you can’t stop loving him), you’re not sure how you can be alright with any of this.

So you’re not certain how to respond when he sweeps you round the floor at the end of the hall, with his arms around you. Dr Stoker wasn’t exaggerating in that Undertaker is full of anticipation for his work, and when he stops humming in order to speak, it becomes clear what news he wanted to share with you.

“Things are finally comin’ t’gether. It’s taken so long, but… our big event is only a few weeks away now.” He twirls you like there’s music playing. Maybe there is, in his head. It seems as though some tune or another is always playing for him. “’ave you ‘eard about the luxury liners? There’s one settin’ sail, an’ I’ll be on it with my associates. As well as a w’ole mess of my darlin’ little dolls.”

To you, that sounds terrifying. But he’s ecstatic… this is something he’s been working toward, looking forward to. It’s one of the culminations of the last how many years he’s been clawing death’s cold grasp away from those who have already succumbed to it.

You don’t know what to say. It’s like his life’s dream is something which horrifies you.

A kiss is pressed to your cheek, and despite your fear, you accept it simply because it comes from him. It’s impossible for you to not love him even now. How do you just stop loving someone because you don’t agree with something they’re doing? “An’ wouldn’t it be romantic?” he chuckles. Another kiss. Another. It’s as if he thinks this is going to be the beginning of the rest of your lives. Like there’s something to celebrate. “I was thinkin’ we could…”

He draws back abruptly. Reflected in his eyes is the anxiety in your own, the chartreuse a mirror bouncing your own emotion back at you. A quiet sigh rolls off his lips. His eyes shift, disappointment palpable in between the green glimmers. “… Y’ won’t go with me?”

He shakes his head; the gesture is almost as if he rather expected your reaction. His hands drift down your body to gently clasp around yours, nails brushing against your skin. “Ah, God, darlin’. Please. I need y’ ‘ere, with me.”

“I’ll be here with you when you get back,” you say softly. No matter what else is going on, he’s still the man you love. Even if he’s doing some incredibly frightening things. “I’ll wait for you. You can come back into my open arms. I’m not going to go anywhere.”

Your hand squeezes his, and you ghost a kiss over his cheek. “But… I don’t think I want to be a part of this, no.”

“Mh.” He catches your lips with his own, pulling you as close to him as is physically possible for two people. “Guess that’s better than anythin’ else y’ coulda said, ain’t it? Goin’ off on a cruise with me is a bit much t’ ask in less than a month’s time,” he teases.

His other hand snakes around your waist, pressing into your back. You think that as much as he wishes you would come, more than anything he just wants reassurance that you aren’t going to run away. “Promise y’ won’t miss me too much, then?”

You go in for another kiss, one that steals every single bit of your breath. “I always miss you.”

“― But y’ll wait f’r me.” His lips curve into a smile against yours. “My. Ain’t I lucky?”

#eveningscoolandquiet #Black Butler #Kuroshitsuji #Undertaker #Undertaker x reader #reader insert #angst #drama #OHOHOHOHOOOOOO my heart is full to bursting thank u <3 #this man just ruins me ok just straight up RUINS ME #one hell of a queue

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grasslandgirl · 10 months

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I've seen you talk about your wc spreadsheet before but I just saw it again in your tags please tell me about your writing tracking

aaaa bec HAPPILY i will do so <33

i got the idea like a year and a half ago (abt the beggining of 2022) from my dearly beloved friend jamie @jlinns who's been doing wc spreadsheets for a while themself and recommended it to me !! the bare minimum gist is to keep track of how much you write month to month and then be able to compare across months and years-- which really helps me maintain motivation and encourages me by having concrete numbers to show i HAVE gotten some writing done even if i don't feel productive

for my spreadsheet specifically, i'm detail-oriented and an overachiever so mine is like. really detailed and fairly complicated lmao; i have a row for every project i've worked on this year (as well as some that have carried over from last year) and all wips are collected under fandom umbrellas within the rows (color coordinated) and then each row has a column for every month as well as a running total sum column for that wip specifically. and then each month has running totals across all fandoms/wips so i can compare how much i wrote in january to how much i wrote in june etc etc and then a grand total sum box that combines how many words ive written across all fandoms/wips across all months up to present !!

it's kind of complicated and i use a lot of comments on certain boxes to keep track of totals month to month so i can find the difference between the may wc total and the june wc total for instance (especially on wips that are older than this year- of which i have so many) and i usually do a round up and double check across every doc i've worked on at the end of a month to make sure it's all accurate and up to date before the month turns over and i start adding totals to the adjacent column in all my wips !!

EXAMPLE SHEET:

this is really just a copy paste of the real format i use for my sheet, with the real wip titles and wc information subbed out for examples and additional information-- up at the top is one of the sum equations i use! [=sum(e8:p8) which basically breaks down to adding together the values between the cells e8 and p8 (e being the "wc jan" column and p being the "wc dec" column) and 8 referring the the row that refers to this wip in question! all the other cells in the "wc gross" column have the same equations, subbing out the number 8 for the row in question on down the line. all the equations under the months in the "monthly total" row are pretty much the same thing only inverted, =sum(e3:e17) for january, =sum(f3:f17) for febuary, etc on down the line, changing the letter value for each equation and maintaining the same block of numerical row values to encapsulate all the wips logged in the sheet!]

writing it all down like this makes it seem more complicated than it is, it think ? and of course, if this is something that interests you, it doesn't have to be as detailed as mine is!! the important part is that it helps in the ways you want it to, and that the help isn't out weighed by the work to keep it up !! (mine doesn't take that much upkeep, now that i've got it set up the way i like it, to be clear! the turn over to the new year (and a new sheet) was kind of a pain in january, but that's only bc you basically have to clean it out and make sure you're carrying over all the pertinent information!) google sheets is pretty easy to manouver and control, in my experience, and they've got a lot of cool things you can do with equations once you've got information in the cells, and a lot of ways you can organize and structure the information to your liking

anyway. thanks for coming to my ted talk skfjvbnskfjbnskfbjsn i did warn in the post that inspired this ask that i could talk about my wc spreadsheet (my darling) for a long time if prompted skjvnbsfkb so thank you for prompting me to speak on it, bec!! i hope this was interesting and helpful for you, and for anyone who bothered to read all of this!! (and i'm happy to go into more detail/answer questions about it if you've got them/if i was unclear/if you want help putting together your own !!) xoxoxoxoxoxo

#xoxoxoxoxo #asks #this was really fun actually to pull together a mock spreadsheet lmao

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