#and i'm going to have to force myself to do it and it's going to take so much time

[onri42]

how I manifested my dream life after years of overconsumption

hello! after being in this community for many years, hopelessly and endlessly trying to manifest the life of my dreams since i was a young teen, i can finally say i did it. i'm living the life i always wanted. this is my success story ٩( 'ω' )و (very long and detailed! + mentions of heavy topics)

how i did it: the journey

i initally found out about manifesting from a friend who told me about subliminals, then i became invested in law of attraction and soon, law of assumption.

for years I was in a nonstop cycle of overconsuming information, deciding to put my foot down and say "this is it", only go back spiraling in my negative thoughts & old story hours or even minutes later. this cycle lasted for years. i felt like the law could not be this easy, and heavily relied on my 3d for evidence/signs of my desire. i felt like there was always something else to do in the 3d (subliminals, scripting, vision board, etc) and was not satisfied in just believing in the unseen.

eventually, i became sick of it. i wanted my dream life so badly, i would cry myself to sleep some nights because of how badly i wanted to be free from my old story. i hated my old life, and was desperate for my new one.

i constantly reread the same edward art posts, tumblr posts, and success stories about the law and craved for something new, but at this point i already knew all i needed to know about the law. i had some success with the law of assumption in the past (manifesting my acceptance into uni, talking to a cute boy etc.) but getting my entire dream life felt like it was impossible. i knew i can get anything and everything i wanted, but honestly i was scared and felt like there was a barrier between me and my desire. yet, i held onto these feelings for years. at some point i even felt childish and the need to "grow up and be realistic" about what i wanted since everything around me was changing and i wasn't getting any younger. but i still held onto my dreams and desires, it was planted into my heart for a reason and I really wanted it to come true.

one day i was clearing out my phone and came across blushydior's success story of how she manifested her dream life in hard circumstances. i read her post again and really internalized what she said about the law.

in short, life is a blank canvas. the minute you decide what you want, it is done. there is nothing stopping you from getting anything you ever wanted because it is already finished. just keep persisting and accepting that it is done because it simply is; nothing else left to do.

so i decided to go all in. i didn't do much: just affirm that i had my desire when i thought about it and embody the state. during the first few days, i felt a wave of happiness and excitement whenever I affirmed for my desires. i knew i had them, and it made me happy. i didn't ignore my 3d, i simply lived through it. i did whatever i had to do in my 3d while still thinking "oh i already have my desire! nothing can stop me, it's all done!"

over time, the feelings of excitement faded and it became more of a feeling of security and calmness. i would still think thoughts like "oh yeah i have my desire, oh well whatever" and simply move on.

i will say though, in the middle i did kind of cave and want to fall into my old ways. i had the feelings of calmness but felt like there was something else left to do. i logged onto tumblr and scrolled over some of the posts i had saved, but didn't read them and rely on them for info. i had to force myself to snap out of feeling like I didn't have it and remind myself that i had it. when i felt overwhelmed with my 3d or faced something that i didnt like, i would remind myself of my desires being complete.

at night i'd also imagine romantic scenarios about me and my sp to fall asleep but i didn't do anything like try to get into sats or void (i tried them before and found them quite boring lol)

eventually after sticking to the assumption that i have my desires, regardless of what i see in the 3d, nothing can stop me from getting my desire because it's already done, i got them all. woke up with everything i want. this is what it means to persist: to take the leap of faith, go all in, and just keep on believing that you already have it!

the old and new story:

old story: I grew up in a very restrictive lifestyle with little freedom and privacy in my house, as well as super traditional and religious parents that made me feel uncomfortable in many areas of my life. my life was primarily just me taking care of my annoying younger siblings and studying to get good grades so I could make my parents happy. I did not have much success with maintaining friendships, no luck in the love department, and disliked who I was as a person for much of my life. I was completely dependent on my parents and wanted their approval for everything; it felt like I was living and doing all of these activities to make them proud, even though they never told me they were. anything that I wanted to pursue I shut down before even trying because I knew they would not approve. I was also constantly being pushed into these religious spaces that made me super uncomfortable due to their beliefs and have been verbally and physically abused in the name of so-called religion. I was living a life that I did not want, by finding the law it gave me an opportunity to live my own life for once.

new story: appearance transformation from head to toe, apartment and houses of my dreams in my desired cities & countries, talents, skills, and knowledge about topics I was curious about, language fluency, ideal wardrobe with all my dream clothes, items on my wishlist, having financial freedom, being free, independent, and in charge of my life, having the boyfriend of my dreams (guys he is so fine like omg), completely revamping and rewriting my past, having a tight knit friend group and the biggest one of all, the thing i wanted for so long -- being a famous musical artist in one of the biggest girl groups in the world <3

i am so so so glad i never gave up, it really is easy.

the law in summary:-

decide what you want to manifest

have faith and know that you already have your desire, it is done and nothing can stop you from getting it (remember! methods are optional)

just persist, do not give up. it will manifest into the 3d! nothing else left to do.

good luck everyone, you can do it and i believe in you <3

#law of assumption #success story #neville goddard #void success #manifesting #manifestation #affirm and persist #law of attraction #master manifestor #loa success #loassumption #loa tumblr

[sometimesliterate]

church — chase atlantic

' i'm about to take you back to church well, tell me your confessions, baby, what's the worst ? baptize in your thighs 'til it hurts cuz i'm about to take you back to church '

requested

you were sunday's favorite. as pure as a lamb, his perfect little toy that he could do whatever he wanted with, even though he wouldn't tell you to your face. no, his actions said all that he needed to say, there was no need to speak his favoritism openly when you accepted him so easily.

you, his darling favorite, were on your knees, looking up at him from where he stood behind his pulpit, your head bowed to him in reverence, one hand curled over the other closed fist in a prayer. " forgive me, father, for i have sinned. " the words flowed effortlessly from your mouth, and he almost found himself unable to keep a calm look on his face, content with your piety.

with your head bowed, all you could hear were his footsteps as you prayed for his forgiveness. fingers hooked underneath your chin, tilting your head up to meet his gaze. sunday loved this view of you on your knees in front of him, your eyes begging for a forgiveness that he was so willing to give, for a price.

" tell me of your sins, " his voice was as smooth as butter, his hand never leaving your chin, forcing you to look directly into his eyes as you confessed. and of course you would, who were you to ever disobey a direct order from sunday ?

" i have.. been touching myself, father, " you admitted, and he swore he could see you melt underneath his piercing gaze. " i know it's wrong, so every time i.. get close, i stop. i know it's not right to orgasm with such sinful intentions, but i.. father, the need.. these sinful urges are taking over my body, my mind. everything. i can't stop thinking about being touched by another. "

sunday is a man who's mind always precedes before his bodily needs. but with you looking up at him, begging him to do something to help you with your urges, even he couldn't turn a blind eye to his favorite believer in need, now could he ?

" this is quite unbecoming of you. i can't even begin to describe my disappointment in you, " although his voice was gentle, his words were biting, reminding you of your place beneath his elegance and divinity. he had the ability to be kind, but he could also ruin you. you could bend to his will, or you could break. he didn't care either way, as long as he had you right where he wanted you.

" i'm sor- "

" i'm afraid apologizing isn't going to make up for your actions. you know as well as i do that acting on such carnal desires are nothing short of blasphemy, " his lips curled into a smirk as he guided your head closer to him, your body leaning in subtly to his, until you were just inches away from him, and his legs were on either side of your body.

" how can i trust you not to act on these desires again ? one should, no, one must ensure that you never act senselessly again. be not afraid, i will take care of your desires. your reverence has never faltered, my precious devotee. i would not be in this position above you if i could not qualm your running thoughts, your aching body. "

" father, please, " you pleaded, the words falling off of your lips like you were about to cry, your bottom lip pouting just a little bit. " i cannot continue to live like this with these thoughts. i need you, father. " you were in the corner of his cage, caught up in his web of desires, but even if the door were open, you would stay.

" then worship me, " sunday commanded, his tone leaving no room for arguments. you only nodded, breathless, as your eyes so lewdly flickered down to his crotch just inches away from your face, his free hand unzipping his silver pants, the sound of the teeth of his pants coming undone enough to make your head spin. you hadn't realized that his hand on your chin had loosened, allowing you to look at him as he freed himself from his pants.

he wouldn't take his clothing off completely, that was entirely off of the table. even when committing such baseless desires. no, he was teaching you how to properly worship a man like him. your god. his hands were clean of sin, it was yours that needed his grace. what was the most efficient way of giving you the body of god himself ?

you didn't need to be told twice to worship him, something that sunday admired from you, always so obedient in everything that he said. you took his cock into your mouth, letting the fat tip of it rest on your flat tongue for a moment as you looked up at him, swearing the sun was in your eyes the way his bright golden eyes were looking down at you, scrutinizing your every move.

sunday didn't move, needing you to prove that you could do such a simple task without his assistance, and a god does not chase after his people, and you did not disappoint. your pretty lips wrapped around his cock so perfectly, your head bobbing up and down as you sucked, eliciting small groans of pleasure from him. drool slipped through your lips and onto your cute little white church dress, dampening the fabric.

your eyebrows were creased together as you worked your warm mouth along his shaft, your focus evident. although he was the one being pleasured, you looked like you were in ecstasy, losing yourself in his pleasure, cock drunk and only thinking about the way his precum tasted in your mouth, like holy water.

" what a perfect little lamb, " sunday purred, his chest rising and falling quickly, his bottom lip in between his teeth. you looked up at him the moment he spoke, your eyes cloudy with desire, but still determined to listen to his every word, hanging off of them as if they were your commandments. " purifying you from within, yes, this is the ideal. my innocent, pure acolyte. your defiling of your own body was sacrilegious, but don't worry. i'll save you. "

sunday was sure controlling you was his claim, his birthright. he could give and take away from you freely as he wished, and you were to give him your everything. and in turn for your everything, of course he could give you his blessings, in the form of exactly what you craved from him. as your mouth worked up and down his cock, the lewd sounds filling up the otherwise silent church, echoing within these holy walls, he felt the pressure threatening to burst out at any moment.

his hand grabbed your hair a little tighter than he expected to, quickly pulling you off of his cock. you hesitated for a moment, the suddenness of his actions catching you off guard, momentarily breaking the spell he had you under, your eyebrows furrowed together as you looked up to him. his free hand gripped his own cock, stroking the length with rhythmic strokes.

" did you think that i would be so generous ? " he asked, his voice holding a hint of condescension. " beg for it. beg for my blessing. beg for your god. "

" fa- g-god- " you stuttered out, his hand in your hair holding your head at the right angle so you could look up at him with your big, doey eyes. you weren't even looking at his ministrations in front of you, solely focused on his face, his radiance. " please- please, i need your blessing, god. i need you to bless this sinful body of mine with your holiness, " the words fell from your lips like a prayer, a mantra that he'd have you repeat over and over again. " my god, please. "

sunday felt his need come to a fever pitch at your prayers, and he threw his head back, moans slipping out as his orgasm exploded outside of him, coating you in his essence. thick ropes of cum splattered onto your face and chest, covering your hair and your forehead like the crown of thorns. his hand dropped his cock, letting it rest on your face, covering one of your eyes as his tip leaked cum into your hair even more as he caught his breath subtly.

" such devotion, your baptism has cleared you partly from your sins. " he murmured, finally releasing your hair, his eyes on how lewd you looked covered in his cum, his cock resting on your face as if that was all you were good for. but his price had been paid, and now he was ready to grant you his forgiveness. " go, sit in the pew. spread your legs for me, and i'll take care of the sins plaguing the inside of your body, too, where the baptism has not yet reached. don't worry, i will make sure your body is completely free of sin, inside and outside, my little dove. "

#honkai star rail #hsr fanfic #honkai sr #honkai star rail x reader #x reader #honkai star rail smut #hsr x reader #sunday #sunday hsr #sunday honkai star rail #sunday x reader smut #sunday x reader #hsr sunday x reader #smut drabble #hsr smut #sunday smut #star rail sunday

[oneshotnewbie]

𝐵𝑒𝑡𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑠

𝐄𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐄𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲, 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐝𝐨𝐮𝐛𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐁𝐈'𝐬 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐝 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬, 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐚 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐳𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐲, 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤.

ᕚ---ᕘ

Emily Prentiss stood at the door of the office where you always retreated to go over your ideas for a new case before presenting them to your team, her hand shaking as she hesitantly grasped the handle. The atmosphere was tense, charged with unsaid words and unspoken emotions that had been plaguing her lately.

You looked up as Emily stepped over the threshold, and her heart made a painful lurch. The love she saw in your eyes brought tears to her own, but she forced herself to stay strong and swallow them down. "Emily," you spoke quietly, your warm voice a whisper in the space of complete silence.

The black-haired woman swallowed hard and stepped closer, her arms tucked under her chest, her gaze cast downwards at the floor. The words she wanted to say were heavy as lead on her tongue. "We need to talk," she finally managed to speak, her voice breaking.

You turned from the whiteboard of the room, your eyes full of worry as you slowly walked towards her. "What's up?" You asked softly, reaching out to touch Emily's forearm. But she pulled back as if she would be burned by the touch. "I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice barely audible. "I can not do this anymore."

You stared at her in disbelief, as if you didn't understand the words, and took a few steps back. "What do you mean by that?" your voice trembled with uncertainty and fear, your body began to tremble.

Emily didn't look at you, her gaze still cast to the floor, unable to look you in the eyes. "I mean our relationship," she spoke quietly, taking a deep breath as she bit her lip. "I'm sorry, but I can't do this anymore. I can't love you like you deserve."

You staggered back as if she had struck you and your back leaned against the table behind you. The tears welled up in your eyes as you tried to comprehend the words that had just left her lips. "Why?" you whispered brokenly.

She swallowed the knot in her throat and continued to force herself to stay strong even though it was tearing her up inside. At that moment she wanted nothing more than to fall into your arms and feel your warmth. But that wasn't possible anymore, she couldn't. "Because I'm not good enough for you. I don't deserve you."

You moved closer again, placing your hand on Emily's cheek, but she backed away again as if it was the most painful thing she had ever experienced. "Emily, this is ridiculous," you said, your voice shaking, not understanding what was wrong with her. Everything was fine this morning when you both woke up in the same bed. "You are more than enough. You are everything to me. More than I am to myself."

Tears were now streaming freely down her face as she saw the pain in your eyes that she never wanted to be responsible for. "I'm sorry," she sobbed, her voice also broken. "But I can't do this anymore. I can't look at you anymore without knowing that I could hurt you at any moment."

You broke down in front of her as you begged Emily to stay with you. You didn't understand what was happening at that moment. You were in a state of shock that seemed unreal, like a nightmare. "Please, Emily. Whatever you're going through that's causing you to push me away, we can get through this. We can get through this together."

But she shook her head, having already made her decision. And no one could refuse her anymore. Not even the love of her life. "No," she spoke, her voice firm and loud. "I'm sorry, but this is what's best for both of us."

With one last painful look, Emily turned and left the room without another word, her heart broken into a thousand pieces. Behind her, you were left drowning in a sea of tears, your heart shattered by the loss of the love you had hoped to last forever.

It took a while for you to regain your composure and feel emotionally stable enough to face the team and your work. You returned to the office and immediately felt the others' eyes on you. Your eyes were reddish and traces of tears could be seen on your cheeks. You tried to keep your composure, but the painful memories of the conversation with Emily made it difficult for you to think straight.

Morgan and Rossi exchanged a worried look when they saw you like that. They knew something was wrong and wanted to help you. But before they could say anything, JJ also looked up and noticed the internal battle you were engaged in. She pulled you to her desk by your upper arm as you walked past her without saying a word. "Hey, is everything okay?" She asked worriedly and you swallowed hard, feeling the emotions overwhelming you. "Emily.. she left me," you managed to say in a shaky voice that didn't fall particularly quietly from your lips.

The words hit the blonde like a blow. She didn't expect the two of you to ever break up. Gently, she forced you to sit on her desk, placing her hand sensitively on your thigh to let you know she was there. "Oh, love.. What happened?"

You sniffled and gently wiped the tears from your eyes. "She said she wasn't good enough for me and that I deserved better," you told her, your voice filled with sorrow. JJ's heart began to beat faster, unable to imagine how difficult it must be for you to be abandoned by someone you loved so much. "Baby, I'm so sorry." She spoke, squeezing your thigh, standing up to pull you into a tight hug.

Meanwhile, Morgan and Rossi had also come closer to hear what had happened and why you were crying. When they found out Emily had broken up with you, they also felt the sting of loss.

Morgan clenched his fists in anger. He couldn't believe Emily had hurt you like that. "I will kill her." He spoke and the other two of the team looked over at him, giving him a serious look before turning their attention back to you. Rossi placed a comforting hand on your shoulder, his expression betraying a mixture of regret and worry. "I'm sorry you have to go through this, kiddo."

"I told my mother about her, even though she doesn't exactly like my lifestyle," you began, your voice filled with sadness, muffled by the many tears that rolled freely down your face. "I lied for her. I broke rules and ignored everyone else just for her."

Morgan rubbed your back while Rossi held you and let you cry. "I cried so hard when she died to go into hiding. I lost myself during it. I thought about her constantly. I wasn't even mad when she suddenly reappeared."

JJ pushed further forward to be closer to you and you let your feelings out. She knew that touch and closeness often weren't enough to mend a heart in moments like this, but she wanted to make you feel like you weren't alone. "I wanted everything with her. I love her so much."

All three listened attentively, Morgan even had tears in his eyes. He knew how strong the bond between Emily and you had been, and the thought of you being apart hurt him deeply and frustrated him.

ᕚ---ᕘ

Emily Prentiss sat in the passenger seat of the car, staring out the window absentmindedly. The car was otherwise empty as the other members of the team stayed in the office. Only David Rossi, the colleague with whom she drove away to pick up the suspect, was there and tapped on the steering wheel.

With a sigh, the black-haired woman finally turned her head to Rossi, biting her lip. "David, can I talk to you?" She asked quietly and the older gentleman looked over and saw his colleague's serious expression. "Of course. Shoot."

She now turned her body completely towards him and struggled for words that were burning on her tongue but she was afraid to say. "It's about y/n.." she began hesitantly and Rossi turned the radio down before looking at her carefully. Emily felt a lump forming in her throat as she took a deep breath. "I broke up with her, David."

He frowned and raised an eyebrow. He knew how much she loved you and still didn't understand why exactly she did what she did. "Y/n already told me about it, Emily. Why did you do that? You two were happy together."

Emily lowered her gaze and began to play with the ring that you had once given her as a joke and she still hadn't taken it off. "I know.. But I was afraid, David. Afraid that I wasn't good enough for her. And besides.. Relationships in the FBI, especially within the BAU, are forbidden. If Strauss had found out, we would have been in trouble. One of us would probably have been transferred to another unit."

Rossi nodded slowly as he listened to her and gently placed a hand on Emily's hands. "Emily, I understand your concerns. But love is complicated, and sometimes we have to take risks to find the happiness we deserve."

Emily fought the tears that were gathering in her eyes again and bit her lip to hold them back. "But what if I made a mistake? What if I love her more than I could ever admit? I don't give a damn if I lose the job. I just want her back."

Rossi smiled softly and squeezed her thigh tightly before looking deep into her eyes. "Sometimes we have to put our pride aside and fight for what really matters to us. She may be deeply hurt, but she still loves you. Love is precious and should not be given up lightly. Listen to your heart and get your girl back."

Emily looked at Rossi gratefully as her tears slowly rolled down her cheeks. She felt a weight lift from her shoulders. His words touched her deeply and gave her a new perspective.

"Thanks, Rossi." She said quietly before tapping her hand on his a few times as a gesture. At that moment she knew she had to make a decision. And this time she would listen to her heart and not her head.

During the mission, Emily couldn't think of anything other than apologizing to you, her body shaking as she hesitantly stood in front of the desk you were sitting at, her heart pounding heavy and loud in her chest. She had decided to finally talk to you and make things right, but she was still trying to find the right words to start the conversation.

You sat there, engrossed in your work, not noticing that anyone had approached you. “Hey,” she spoke quietly, sitting down in the chair across from you. You didn't even lift your eyes from your paper as you just replied to her coldly. "What do you want, Prentiss?"

Emily swallowed hard, her voice barely above a whisper, the use of her last name causing a tug in her soul. "I want to talk to you about something, y/n. About us."

You snorted disdainfully and put the pen aside before folding your hands on the table and looking at her bitterly. "There's nothing more to say. You made your decision when you broke up with me."

Emily felt the sweat spreading on her hands, she couldn't ignore the nervous twitching in her left leg that was spreading. "But that was a huge mistake. I realized that I love you more than I could ever admit. I want to grow old with you. Please, let's talk about it."

You shook your head, your eyes shining with pain. "It's too late. You broke my heart and I can't trust you not to do it again. I can't go through this again. You know my past, Emily."

Emily looked down, unable to look at you. She felt her heart shatter into a thousand pieces. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I hurt you. But I love you, y/n. I would do anything to make it up to you."

You snorted bitterly. "Sometimes love just isn't enough. You've done enough damage, I can't let you, a person I've trusted with my entire life, hurt me any more."

The words hit Emily like a slap in the face. She could hear the pain in your voice and knew there was no way to ease it. Heartbroken, she stood up. "I will fight for you, y/n. No matter what it takes." She spoke and left your seat, knowing that she had lost the only person she had ever truly loved.

The question of whether she would ever have the opportunity to regain your trust and love remained shrouded in an uncertain fog of hope and doubt, and the path to your heart seemed to be paved with insurmountable hurdles and endless pain.

#criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds oneshot #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds imagines #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x you #criminal minds angst #emily prentiss #emily prentiss x you #emily prentiss x reader #emily prentiss fanfiction #emily prentiss fanfic #emily prentiss oneshot #emily prentiss imagine #emily prentiss imagines #emily prentiss x female reader #emily prentiss fic #criminal minds fiction #emily prentiss angst #fanfiction #fanfics #fanfic #oneshot #imagines #imagine #fanfic writing #writeblr #writers on tumblr

[deoidesign]

Happy webcomics day!!!

I'm not home (on a trip right now with family), but I still want to talk a little bit about my process, so I did what I could to find some wip shots 🧡

Plus, I'd also like to update my extremely patient readers with a little taste of what's to come!!!

Step one, of course, is writing.

When I'm writing I have four documents open. A "dump" document, a "yes this!" Document, an outline document, and a drawing canvas!

In the dump document, I put ANYTHING. complete stream of consciousness. The 'yes this' document is where I put anything useful from the dump document, and the outline is, of course, the outline. The drawing canvas is for me to sketch out problems and ideas and get sort of a different angle on things, since I can't really visualize.

Once I have a book completely written, I start thumbnailing!

My thumbnails pretty much look like this. Text, sketchy poses, indications of expression and maybe environment...

I thumbnail the entire book at once. I don't let myself do any edits on it until it's done, but I take note of edits I'd like to make! Then, once the first draft is out, I edit.

I'll move entire scenes, delete whole episodes, bring in bits from the end to have proper foreshadowing... Etc! It's a long process that makes my arcs feel much more complete and something I can be really proud of.

I can only do this when I'm really ahead, though, so that's why I've been on a long hiatus!!! I was forced to work without my process for a few arcs, and the difference is so huge to me that I refuse to let myself do it again. It makes a loner hiatus, but work way more worth waiting for!

Next step is lineart!

Yes, I skip sketches! I go right into lines.

I save every head I've ever drawn, and that lets me copy paste in a basic head angle. Then I redo the face, fix up the hair, etc. so it fits my panel, and then I draw the rest of the body!

This seriously saves me so much time, but less so for the drawing (i still draw a ton of heads and I'm very fast) and more just for helping me skip sketching entirely!

Then I do character flats, which since all my lines are closed that goes pretty quickly (slowest part is Steve's hair, I refuse to use a brush cause every one I've made looks terrible!!!)

And then I draw the backgrounds!

Which, I keep layered, clean, and HUGE so I can use them throughout the arc.

I used to feel bad doing this, but then I realized... It's not like backgrounds "change" irl. So why make them change in my comics...? It saves me so much time, but it ALSO lets me put in more detail per background! I draw probably 3 very large backgrounds per episode like this, and then I draw maybe 5-10 unique backgrounds for single panels per episode as well. I save these too, but they're rarely re-used.

And then my panels are done!!!

So there's a bit of my process for you all!!!

Happy webcomics day 🧡🧡🧡

And here's my comic, if you haven't read it and want to see the end result of this process, or if you have read it and would enjoy a re-read with the extra knowledge:

Or, if you would prefer books I have those too!

Happy to elaborate on any step, as well!

I make comics extremely quickly and as my full time job, and my process allows me to easily manipulate my format as well. I'm happy to share any of my knowledge if you have questions!!!

#webcomics day #webcomicday #webcomic day #time and time again #webcomics #webtoon #webtoon originals #ttawebcomic #art process #writing process #my art #comic #my comic #comic process

[otomiyaa]

Ticklish Blade x Reader

Platonic + 47. "I wasn't even touching you." Requested by anon for my 1K Followers Event🌻

Guess guess what scene inspired this, hahaha!

It felt... odd. You eyed the driver nervously. He was so quiet. Not more quiet than usual, but in this case it was kind of concerning.

"Blade...?" you murmured. It was already a surprise that Blade was offering you a ride while you had no idea he even had a driver's license. But the bigger surprise was when you realized Blade was sleep-deprived, and getting in a car accident with him was not necessarily on your wishlist.

Too bad the realization came only after he started the car, and you were now trying to make sure he wasn't falling asleep.

"Blade?" you asked, louder this time.

"What."

Another person would think he was angry, but you knew him better by now.

"Are you sure you're alright? I can go there myself. No need to help me."

"I'm fine. I already told you."

You gazed out of the window, then back at him. Instead of acting like you were worried about him, maybe a more selfish attitude would do it then.

"I appreciate your gesture, really. I'm just wondering if you can get me there in one piece."

You saw him frown a little. "Are you doubting me?"

"Not your driving skills, of course. But... Your current state. Blade, you haven't slept at all. I'd like to keep living, if you'll let me."

He was quiet for a moment and you had a feeling he was going to ignore this discussion. But then he simply pulled both hands off the wheel, and you gasped.

"What are you doing?!" you shrieked, only for Blade to look at you, with his hands right above the wheel and the expression on his face almost, what was it... taunting?

"The car is driving itself. Now happy?"

Oh he was totally taunting you. How petty, hehe.

You would laugh at it, but because of the jumpscare, the first thing you did was let out a sigh in relief. "I can't believe you," you said, faking as if you were going to hit him, but to your surprise he jumped slightly and blocked himself with his arm.

"Don't," he hissed. You stared at him and cocked your head.

"Huh? What're you getting all defensive for? I wasn't even touching you."

Blade glared. "Yet. You sure were about to."

You chuckled. "What, is the almighty Bladie afraid I'm gonna hit him? For real?" you teased.

"Don't call me that."

It was strange, Blade wouldn't recoil from a hit, fake or real, not from an enemy and definitely not from you, so... You smirked.

"Hey!" Blade's voice did quite the thing when your finger pierced into his side, poking him misschievously.

"What are you doing?!" he asked angrily.

"I have a feeling you just thought I was going to tickle you, weren't you? Which inspired me... to actually tickle you."

"I did no-ahh! Don't! That's dangerous! Stahahap!" Blade yelped when you tickled him again. You couldn't stop grinning. This was just gold.

He must've witnessed the two or three times you ended up getting in a tickle fight with Silver Wolf the past days, which caused him to think you were actually going to tickle him just now? The idea wouldnt even cross your mind!

Well, now it definitely did.

"Dangerous how? You said the car is driving by itself. I'm just making sure the driver and passenger won't get bored in the meantime," you said, wiggling your fingers against his side. Blade squirmed in his seat. This was just wonderful. You could see him struggle to not move too much - since then it would get a little more dangerous after all.

Right now he was merely trapped in the driver's seat and forced to endure your little tickle attack.

"I'll - ahah! Stop that!" Blade's angry giggles were everything. You knew you were really being too reckless for someone who valued life so much until seconds ago. But ticklish Blade was actually a discovery worth it.

"Gehehet ohohoff!" Blade swatted at you, and the lack of force in his reactions only made you go "aww". He wasn't entirely helpless - there were plenty of ways he could make you stop without crashing the car, but those might probably include hurting you, or...

Nah, never mind. He would never.

"Lahahast chahance!" Blade warned, jumping hilariously in his seat and twisting from side to side to avoid your relentless tickles. Using both hands, you wiggled your fingers against his sides and ribs, and occasionally tried to poke his tummy, but he really blocked that area with all of his might.

"Last chance or what?" you asked, but finally he managed to catch one of your hands. Then without warning he clawed at your side, tickling you back, and you screamed in surprise.

"EHEyes on the road sihihir!" you cried out in sudden panic. Blade froze, appearing shocked by the volume of your voice. You had already pulled your knees up and lay curled up in your seat, watching him in fear as you anticipated his counter attack. He would never tickle you back: you were confident about that. But... not anymore.

He sighed. "Then stop tickling me." Blade finally put his hands back on the wheel, and for the second time this ride, you sighed in relief.

It was funny to hear him say that word. Hmm. Maybe you just ruined your chances of having your first ever tickle attack with Bladie. But tickle fights in cars were never ideal. You smirked. Knowing he was ticklish and might even potentially tickle you back, you couldn't help but store this information in your head for another time.

"Don't you even think about it," Blade said, probably noticing the smirk on your face.

"I wasn't thinking anything~" you sang, but of course both of you knew that wasn't true!

#x reader tickles #honkai star rail #blade #x reader #blade x reader #tickling #tickle fic #otomiya!writes #hsr #lee!blade

[skyfallscotland]

This somehow takes place both within and outside of BRV at the same time. Because unexplained time travel. That's why. It's also completely unpolished because it's 2am and I don't know what I'm doing here.

intertwining souls (we were never strangers)

In the seconds that have passed since he appeared from the tunnel, restraining my hands behind my back, a slight breeze has picked up, blowing my hair over my shoulder. Fuck. Silver-tipped brown strands float out towards him, as if reaching for his hand the way my heart aches to. I know immediately he’s made the connection. “There’s a very reasonable explanation for this.” I croak, my pulse fluttering with fear as he closes the distance between us, drawing one of his twin swords from his back. 

“Oh fuck,” I curse, groaning as I hold my forearm tight against my closed eyelids. The cold texture of Sgaeyl’s scales is soothing against my throbbing temple and I let out a low whimper, rolling onto my side to press my head into the soft grass. “Holy shit.”

“Lía…” I groan aloud, listening for the heavy beat of wings over the buzzing in my ears. I can’t hear any. Did I blow my eardrums out? Carefully, I reach up with my other hand, feeling for any moisture. Nothing. I falter a little upon the realisation that I can hear wings in the distance, but not…here…

“Lía?” I call out, forcing back the bile that rises in my throat. I’d…fallen. I’d fallen and she hadn’t caught me and…she hadn’t followed me down at all. Slowly, I blink my eyes open, the fading sunlight sending a sharp pain rippling through my head. As I sit up, I run a hand over my hair. My braid’s come loose and the silky strands are now fluttering in the slight breeze, meaning I’ve lost the poisoned wire I usually wind through it. There’s no blood though, at least, so it must just be a concussion. 

My brow furrows as I close my eyes, reaching. I reach…and reach, but…nothing. A panicked gasp escapes me. There’s nothing there. “Lía!” I call more urgently this time. The sky is empty. No. No, no, no, no. Even the time I’d been dosed with that awful serum I could still feel her there, lurking—as if hidden behind a frosted pane of glass. Now though…it was as if I’d never bonded her in the first place. 

Frantically, I look down at my arm, sighing in relief as I see the green dragon relic twisting up and around my bicep, the Daggertail hidden beneath my vambrace. Ok, so we’re still bonded, I just can’t sense her. I don’t think anything could have happened to her—if it had, I’d be dead already—so…what, then? 

The last thing I remember is being knocked off her spine from behind. I hadn’t seen it coming in the slightest. We’d been practicing my balance just over the flight field as she took to the sky, so I hadn’t been strapped in. Did she…not have time to catch me? That doesn’t make sense! Even if she hadn’t caught me in time, she’d still be here now—and so would the rest of my squad for that matter, Liam and Deigh were just ahead of me!

Gingerly, I pull myself to my feet, rotating my sore joints. Maybe I was…dreaming? Or I’m in a coma now, because there’s no way I actually fell from the back of my dragon and slammed into the ground without breaking anything. 

In the time I’ve been contemplating, the sun has gone down fully and the moon has begun to rise, the entire sky a blanket full of stars. I turn on my heel, determined to get back to my room and find someone—anyone—who can tell me what the fuck is going on, when there’s a slight crack and my head snaps up in the direction of the hidden tunnel linking the field with the academic wing. 

For a moment, panic thunders through me and I grip the dagger at my thigh in a closed fist, but then there’s a familiar cool brush against my skin and my spine relaxes. “Xade?” I call out, a slight frown on my face. “What the hell, it’s Wednesday!” I hiss, storming toward the tunnel. “You should be—”

I’m shoved backward, barely able to keep my balance as I trip over my own feet, shadows restraining me in the dark. “Fuck,” I curse. “That’s not funny.” I snap. “I have a concussion and Lía won’t answer me and I can’t channel so don’t—” He steps into the moonlight and my jaw drops. Malek deliver me. “Xaden?” My voice cracks.

He looks so cold, so closed off I barely even recognise him. It’s been a very, very long time since he looked at me like that, if he ever did. There’s movement at his side and Garrick steps through, followed by…Masen. “Oh gods.” If my hands were free, I’m certain one would be over my mouth right now. My eyes quickly run over their uniforms��cadet’s uniforms—and I realise I’m in big, big trouble. They each have two, small silver stars on the shoulder. Second-years. 

“No. No, no, no, no.” I mutter. 

“Yes.” He finally speaks, his eyes trailing over my form from head to toe. “And who might you be?” My partner—but not—paces toward me slowly, his lips tilting up viciously as he croons. “You’re wearing rider black and a wingleader’s jacket, but I’ve never seen you—” He pauses, his eyes widening slightly. 

In the seconds that have passed since he appeared from the tunnel, restraining my hands behind my back, a slight breeze has picked up, blowing my hair over my shoulder. Fuck. Silver-tipped brown strands float out towards him, as if reaching for his hand the way my heart aches to. I know immediately he’s made the connection. “There’s a very reasonable explanation for this.” I croak, my pulse fluttering with fear as he closes the distance between us, drawing one of his twin swords from his back. 

“Xaden, please!” I beg, panic muddling my senses. Something furious flickers in his eyes. “Baby, listen to me—” His shadows slip for a split-second as if in surprise and almost simultaneously, the ground shakes, rattling my teeth together. Half a sob escapes my mouth and I turn on my heel and run. I don’t know what makes me think she’s the better option, that she’ll recognise me when my partner, the love of my life doesn’t. 

“Sgaeyl!” I yell, boot-covered feet carrying me full-tilt toward her. “Sgaeyl!” His shadows tug at my ankles and I don’t know if it’s a happy accident or if he meant for it to happen, but it means I go flying into the grass just as her teeth snap shut where my head once was. “Are you fucking kidding me?!” I shriek. 

“LÍA!” I scream at the top of my lungs. “LÍA!”

“Quiet!” Xaden snaps, his shadows smothering any sound I attempt to get out. “Fucking Sorrengail.” He crouches in the grass, his hand on my throat. “That’s who you are, isn’t it? You’re one of Lilith Sorrengail’s.” I snarl at him, lifting a leg to kick him in the groin, but his shadows catch my shin before I can do any damage. 

Gold-flecked onyx eyes stare down at me without an ounce of recognition. “Who’s Lía? Is that your…” Slowly, he stops as if realising for the first time where he’s heard that name before. I stare up at him pleadingly. His hand trails over my arm, tracing the relic at my shoulder. “Lilith Sorrengail’s youngest aren’t old enough to have bonded dragons.” His hand slips down further to the vambrace on my wrist and he picks it up, turning it to face the moonlight. “What the…” He drops it like it burns him. 

Hot steam wafts over me and I hold still as a giant blue-scaled snout drops down to sniff at me. “That’s impossible.” Xaden snaps and I almost feel sorry for him as Sgaeyl shoves him backward onto his ass. Almost. 

“You…asshole!” I seethe, launching myself forward. I don’t feel even a little bit bad for the crack that sounds through the air as I punch him in the face. Serves him right. I pull my arm back again. “You’re in so much fucking trouble, you hear me! I’m going to—” 

A throat clears. “I’m going to have to ask you to stop doing that.” A familiar voice says, tinged with amusement, before adding, “whoever you are.” 

I huff. “Shut up Garrick. Buzz off and tell Imogen how you feel.” A choked sound escapes the man beneath me. “I’m not kidding.” I tell him when he doesn’t move. “Take Masen and give us some space. I want you out of hearing distance.” 

When I glance up, the older man is gaping. “Who the hell are you? Why would I listen to you?” A warm nudge at my back has me unbalanced for a moment, but I manage to hold my ground, straddling Xaden’s torso. 

“Remi Sorrengail.” I tell him, reaching out a hand behind me to press it to Sgaeyl’s maw. “And you’re going to listen to me because it’s in your best interest. Shoo.” He mouths the last word to himself disbelievingly, before his eyes flit over my shoulder at the Blue Daggertail behind me and my hand currently resting above her nose.

“Ok. You’re on your own, brother.” He says succinctly, before turning on his heel and heading for the rocky outcropping they came from. When I look back down, Xaden’s eyes are narrowed and his mouth is downturned and twitching slightly. He’s definitely arguing with Sgaeyl. Impatience not in the least bit tempered by the one hit I’d gotten in, I slip my hand from his shoulder to his jaw and tug, leaning down to claim his lips with mine. 

For a moment, he’s still, his body rigid beneath me and I feel something in my chest shrivel and die. Desperately, I pour every ounce of love and fear I have into it, begging, willing his soul to recognise mine. Slowly, tentatively, his lips part. My fingers reach up to tangle in his hair and by the time we part for air, I’m curled over him, my eyes just inches from his own. “Look at me.” I demand, my thumb stroking over his cheekbone before I drop my voice to a low whisper. “Read me.”

He jolts, his eyes widening. It’s…clumsy almost when he reaches out toward me and I realise with an aching heart it’s probably because he hasn’t had much, if any practice at this point. He’s only twenty-two. Holy shit. Patiently, I push a memory to the forefront of my mind—laying in each other’s arms, trading bites of chocolate cake on his favourite hillside in Aretia. 

“Holy shit.” He whispers and my lips curve upward. 

“Hi.” I murmur quietly, dropping a chaste, gut-wrenching kiss to his lips. “I’m Remi.” My throat tightens as I force back tears. “And one time you told me it was love at first sight. I’m starting to think that you lied.”

He stares. 

“I’m sorry.” I whisper, climbing to my feet. “I know this isn’t—that you don’t know me.” I choke out. “But I don’t know what happened and I can’t feel my dragon and I’m scared, Xade.” Slowly, he climbs to his feet and takes a step toward me, closing the gap again. 

A hand reaches out to brush my hair behind my ear and a wet chuckle escapes me. I guess some things really don’t change. “Where—when are you from?” He finally asks, his eyes glued to my face.

“Two years from now.” I whisper. “Give or take.” I glance at the two stars on his uniform. “My twin and I—” I pause, my mouth snapping shut.

“Your twin…Violet, right?” I nod, mutely. “Listen, Sorrengail,” he begins and it sounds so strange coming from him that I flinch.

“I don’t know how much I should share.” I blurt. “What if…if this is time travel, then should I be keeping everything to myself? Just in case…” Just in case it changes things. My eyes flit over his shoulder for a second to where Garrick and Masen stand and guilt flares in my chest. I should want to tell him everything, to tell him every detail so he can try and prevent people from getting hurt, but I…I’m selfish. I worry if I do tell him anything further, maybe it will change things and he won’t…love me. 

“Are there things you think you should share?” He asks archly and I chuckle, the sound almost hysterical even to my ears.

“You have no idea.” I croak.  

His lips tilt up, just slightly. “I think I have some idea.” He says softly. “It must have been a pretty crazy two years for me to end up with a Sorrengail.”

I lift a brow. “Because you could never be cordial with a Sorrengail?” I glare, arching a brow. It takes a moment before it clicks and his mouth forms a small ‘o’. “Yeah, that one was fun to find out after almost dying.” 

“You almost died?” He says immediately, his eyes running over me again from head to toe. I shrug, noncommittally. “What can you tell me?” He asks, exasperated and I grin, looking up at him adoringly. 

“I love that tick in your jaw, this one right here.” I carefully slide my thumb across it. “I used to be such a common cause of it.” 

I’m faced with a deadpan expression. “Somehow, I’m certain you still are.” 

I laugh aloud. “Maybe.”

Sgaeyl takes to the sky behind me and I whip around, my eyes following her form as she disappears in the direction of the Vale. “She’s going to get your Lía.” He informs me, his voice low. “To see in person if she knows anything—feels anything from you.” 

I shake my head immediately. “I don’t think so. I can’t feel her at all, like she’s not even there. Although…” I trail off contemplatively. “If anyone in the Vale can help, it might be Andarna.” 

Xaden’s eyes turn distant for a moment before he focuses back in on me. “Sgaeyl won’t tell me what that means.” 

I nod. “She shouldn’t.” I reply simply. She’ll know. I glance over his shoulder once more. “Heading out on a drop?” I ask, noting the bags by Garrick’s feet. 

My partner stiffens. “You…”

I smile up at him fondly. “I really wish I could tell you the story of how I found out right now.” 

“You could.” He suggests. 

“No.” I deny, leaning in to wrap my arms around him. He’s still for a second before slowly, carefully he brushes a hand over my hair, stroking softly. I tuck my face into his neck, breathing him in. 

“We’re…serious, then?” He asks and I can feel his free hand tracing over the Riorson family crest on my vambrace. 

“Very.” I laugh. “You’re going to marry me one day soon.” When I look up, I’m sure my eyes are bright. “Because I’m the best thing that ever happened to you, not because someone else thought it would be a good idea.” 

His lips part slightly. “You know…” 

My heart sinks a little. “I know.” I confirm. “Xade?” I lift a hand to his chest, resting it gently over his heart. “Promise me something—don’t go to Cordyn.” I beg. “If they want to renegotiate just tell them no, don’t go there.” I plead. 

“Why?” He asks carefully, in that way of his that means he’s hiding something.

“Just…promise me.” I beg. “Or promise me you won’t be alone with her, I just…Xaden.” I hold his gaze, pleading with my eyes. 

“Ok.” He relents. “I promise.” I sigh in relief, tension draining out of me as I bury my face in his neck. Maybe it’s selfish, to try and change this and only this, or maybe it won’t make a lick of difference—perhaps whenever this…anomaly is over, I’ll simply go back to my time and he’ll forget ever having met me until that day on the parapet. 

But if there’s even a chance I can change it—this one thing that affects no one and nothing but him—I’ll take it. “Thank you.” I murmur, pressing my lips to his throat. When I pull away slightly to meet his gaze again, I let my thumb trail reverently over his lips. 

“I love you.” I whisper. “I need you to know that.” I smile sadly at the broken, desperate look in his eyes. “I love you more than anything—anyone—I’ve ever loved or ever will love. There is no me, without you.”

Slowly, he lowers his lips to mine of his own volition and my soul sings.

#basgiath (remi's version)

[drdemonprince]

how did you know that seeking institutional help was the right step to take?

For four years I was always in high levels of care. When I transitioned out of that, I was a "revolving door patient" to ip units living with a carer the rest of the time. I sometimes self-harmed or did other actions intentionally to get hospitalized during that time. I'm going to focus on mostly that because I don't want to get into the weeds of how different psych treatment programs are categorized and run.

I would say that my goal of being hospitalized usually was to change something in my outpatient life - let my therapist know I wasn't willing to do something, get my companions to let me go for walks alone, whatever. I'd get hospitalized or call the cops on myself or send scary texts to my therapist and then try to end my life, eventually being stopped. I didn't want to die, but if I could prove to them I was willing to, they'd listen.

Another person mentioned a desire for closeness+physical touch, and that was a huge part of it for me. i even got restrained sometimes just because I wanted any touch, which is something commonly heard from incarcerated people. I had certain nurses and other staff who I saw as my family, calling my therapist "dad" and interacting in a needy, childlike way with floor staff.

I also liked how much it pared down my life. I was in college at the time, and found the social habits of the other students confusing and overwhelming, so I'd get hospitalized to miss class.

what helped you trust the professionals or the institution enough for it to be beneficial to you?

i wouldn't say I trust any of the institutions, but some staff earned my trust. I was a scary mean noncompliant patient so the few who actually bothered to get to know me were usually moments away from some kind of burnout where they realized all this shit sucks.

One of the things they did that earned my trust was to share about their own mental health or addiction history. This is encouraged in sud places, but usually VERY discouraged in psych units, moreso the higher level of care it is.

Another big thing was to allow me to break rules or break them themselves. My ex-therapist used to meet with me for extra time, give me my DVD player when I wasn't allowed, etc. and it felt like he saw me as equal. Turns out he sucks. but. during the time he was treating me he definitely helped me a lot with my thinking patterns, so the trust still ended up benefiting me, even if the relationship didn't always. He also talked A LOT about his family and life outside of work, and showed me pictures, and I even met his dog once.

for me this is an example of why therapists are kind of. not great? because he earned my trust enough to help me, I was at his defense. I felt like not getting better was something I was "doing to him", and his displays of sadness (once something I'd considered a positive aspect of his self disclosure) became a way to manipulate me into the hospital when I didn't want to go, without having to resort to force or law. i agreed with the assertion of psychology that he knew me better than I know myself, and gave every part of my personality, personhood, to the medical model.

so yes it helped as in now when I'm suicidal or about to bpd-style destroy my every relationship I think "play the tape forward what happens next" and don't. which is lame bc it means most of the people who treated me get to leave patting themselves on the back about how well im doing now.

which kinds of institutions have been *less* traumatic than the others?

A few times I got to live in supportive group home style places, and those are kind of nice! It was cool to be in a place surrounded by other mentally ill people. Much less lonely. In general, places that let you outside independently, let you access food independently (e.g. no staff in the kitchen), and let you keep some secrets from staff are the best. My quality of life was 100% better when all the program heads knew we were vaping in our rooms but just let it happen unless someone started setting off alarms. Ditto with like, being able to stay up late on Devices.

Having that independence, a place for my sense of self other than being a patient, was sooo sooo helpful.

is it sometimes worth simply not being able to act on the ideation, even if it means putting up with lots of institutional bullshit?

I didn't find the hospital particularly good at getting me to not act, instead they just prevented the worst consequences. All three hundred stitches I got for self-harm were while I was institutionalized. But like, my nerve damage is less than it could've been. I am not sure how to evaluate if that's better than having just died, because I have no idea how much the institution itself caused self-harm and suicidality.

all things being equal, would it always be better to be able to stay at a friend's house instead?

yes

if you could get 24-7 company from a loved one, would that be better?

yes. however. i think it would be good if people had some information about how to talk to suicidal people. like... i forget the training. but its similar to what they teach helpline volunteers. thats its ok to say suicide. to ask if they have a plan. to ask if theyd be willing to get rid of the means. etc.

SORRY IF THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE TO READ

this is a wealth of information, thank you!

[666writingcafe]

A Reward: Mammon/Levi/Beel

Final Part of Special Bonus Content

In a few moments, the only people left in this imaginary room are myself and the first three demons I've made pacts with: Mammon, Levi, and Beel. I suppose the effects of the sleeping potion are finally starting to wear out, meaning that soon we'll all be awake and back in the real world.

But something tells me that these three will fight to remain here for as long as they can in order to complete their turn.

"I don't think there's going to be room for all of us on the bed," Beel observes.

"Couldn't we just magically make it bigger?" Mammon asks.

"Yes, except the people with that ability are no longer here," Levi responds, slightly irritated. I take that as my cue to hop off the bed and walk over to the three men.

After some discussion about how exactly we're going to do this, we end up sitting down on the floor. Mammon pulls me onto his lap and starts nipping at my neck, eliciting a quiet moan from me. Beel and Levi quickly position themselves on both sides and start touching whatever part of my body they can reach with their hands and mouths.

The three of them prove to be a deadly combination. When mixed together, their sins cause them to develop a sort of hive mind; their only goal is to ensure that I fall apart in their hands.

And it's working.

"Were you like this before us?" Levi whispers suddenly.

"Like what?" I respond, a bit confused by his question.

"Slutty," Beel bluntly answers. I shake my head.

"I'm a bit of a late bloomer," I explain. "Before the exchange program, I only ever kissed one guy. Didn't do anything else beyond that."

"You can't be serious." Mammon abruptly stops his attack on my neck. "You mean to tell me you were a virgin when we first met?!"

"Is there something wrong with that?" I ask. Realizing how harsh he sounded, Mammon quickly replies,

"No, of course not, MC! You're allowed to do whatever you want with your body, even if that means keeping it to yourself. I'm just a bit surprised, that's all."

"Because of my recent behavior?"

"Because of your soul," Beel states seriously, forcing me to look at him. "It makes the most physically gorgeous people look average in comparison. I get that humans aren't as sensitive to this sort of thing as angels and demons are, but I thought they could at least sense inner beauty."

"Maybe they did, but MC shut them out," Levi suggests. "I mean, I remember them not being too keen on getting dragged into our shenanigans when they first arrived in the Devildom. They just wanted to get through the exchange program, learn as much as they could, and go home."

"You're not wrong," I respond. "The more I got to know you guys, though, the more I wanted to take part of the action. I was no longer satisfied with merely watching from the sidelines. And, well..." I pause, taking a deep breath. "You're all really attractive."

"I knew you had good taste!" Mammon exclaims, causing me to giggle.

"You're certainly going to be spoiled for the rest of your life," Beel quips. "It's not like the average human is going to be able to top anything we're able to do." With that, the three of them resume their activities.

Unfortunately for me, everything becomes hazy, and soon I wake up on the floor of the home theater. I must have been the last one to return from the dream realm, for there's no one else in the room with me. The others are probably well into their day by now.

I get up and stretch out any kinks before exiting the room. I happen to catch my reflection in a mirror as I head to my room to change clothes, and I end up doing a double take.

My throat is completely covered in hickeys and bite marks. Ducking into the nearest bathroom, I undress myself and discover that they also litter my torso and inner thighs. There's even a couple on my butt.

At least I don't have to be anywhere today, because there is no way I could come up with a white lie to explain all of these marks.

Taglist: @lost-in-time-wanderer, @fuzztacular, @dianedancer18, @sweetbrier2908, @flare-love, @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf, @thunderlightning351, @anxious-chick

#obey me shall we date #obey me mc #obey me mammon #obey me levi #obey me leviathan #obey me beel #obey me beelzebub

[our-aroace-experience]

Hi!

So i'm aroace - I've known this for years and I've known this since the end of yr 6/beginning of highscool/yr 7 and am quite open about it and most of my close friends know about how i am aroace.

Along with this I have never rlly been interested in romantic relationships - they never seemed all that interesting and even as a kid I could never be bothered to force myself into having crushes (smth ik that some other aro ppl tend to do) or ever thought of the idea of not having romance as being unappealing/sad. I've also never really had strong desires for sexual relationships - to me sex was smth that was overdramatised (like in p0rn, books or fanfiction), something that i was mildly curious about but would most likely never have due to not wanting to have to look for a sexual partner and sometimes feeling borderline freaked out at the thought of being with another person like that.

However I have been curious about QPRs before - until recentrly I didn't know too much about them though after I learnt more I thought that I would want to have one - though I've never really known who I would get into one with/how to ask someone to be in one with me.

Recently there is this girl who I am friends with who I think I would like to be in a QPR with - we've been friends since around 2022 and she's awesome! I rlly love spending time with her and all of that + I think that being in a QPR wouldn't change too much other then maybe one or two ways that we interact + having a label on it.

However she is allo and though ik that allo ppl can be in QPRs and also she isn't a huge romantic and has only had like, 1 crush a year ago, I also know that she probably doesn't know what a QPR means and I wouldn't want her to think that it would get in a huge way of if she even did want to have a romance ig?(I don't see this as likely bc to my knowledge she's had 1 crush throughout her entire life + moved on fast afterwards and hasn't rlly had another one but I don't rlly understand romance and ik that ppl can get crushes whenever and stuff).

I also happen to be a very nervous person - meaning that if I had to ask + tell her what a QPR is I would most likely chicken out or feel extremely anxious and not even finish or give her information that wasn't 100% correct.

Also she's smart enough to do her own research and stuff (which considering how bad i am at explaining things would be for the best) but she wouldn't do research if she didn't think it was all that relavant to her. By that I mean like - she knows what being aroace is, but she doesn't know a lot of in-depth stuff bc she just asked me some questions and to her knowing her friends feelings was enough. And I have very little idea of how to casually drop the words Queer Platonic Relationship so that she will just go and do some research for it.

Plus I wouldn't want to make her uncomfortable bc she could liken me asking to a confession even tho it's not rlly one + if we were to be in one we happen to go to a school that has both a younger and older sibling which could end up meaning that even if she understood they could end up thinking she's queer and idk how her family would take that/I wouldn't want her to get in trouble or anything.

i’m not sure if you want advice or just to vent, since you didn’t specify, so i’ll just say that if you wanted you can try mentioning qprs in a context not related to you and see what she says, and go from there. good luck!

#our aroace experience #aromantic #asexual #aro #ace #aroace #aroace asks #advice #long post

[permanentswaps]

Building Each Other Up Pt. 3

Read Pt. 1 here and Pt. 2 here.

Shane’s POV

‘I'm not kidding, Mark. I wanna swap back,’ I angrily texted. I stared at the screen, waiting for the blue bubble to pop up and signal the message had gone through. Instead, my message popped up green with a little red circle saying ‘Not Delivered.’

“Fuck, did that asshole block me?” I muttered to myself, feeling a surge of anger.

It had been almost two weeks since Mark forced me out of my own body and into his, which meant he had been controlling my body full time for almost a month. At first, I thought I could handle it. And despite the bullshit he pulled, I wanted to trust him. But now, it was clear that he was enjoying my life a little too much.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm the rising panic. It hadn't been the worst experience being in Mark’s body again. I had enjoyed indulging in some cheat foods and cigars I hadn’t been allowing myself, and I still managed to pull girls without much effort (I mean Mark was still a good looking guy). There was even a nostalgic element to being back in his body after so long.

But the bodybuilding competition was tomorrow. I had been working towards this for so long, and the thought of not competing in my own body was infuriating.

Grabbing my phone again, I tried calling him, but it went straight to voicemail. "Damn it, Mark! Answer your fucking phone!" I shouted, slamming it down on the counter.

"Okay, well, I guess I'll have to take matters into my own hands," I muttered to myself.

Mark had mentioned earlier this week that he needed to make more of the potion. He said it was a bit of an involved process, but with the competition coming up, he just didn't have the time. I knew better. I'd made the potion with him a few times, and while it was a bit complicated, it didn't take that long. Maybe two to three hours tops.

"Alright," I said to myself. "It doesn't seem like I'm getting any help from him, so I guess I'll just make some on my own."

After rummaging through the cabinets and drawers in the kitchen, I found everything I needed. I set up in the kitchen, feeling a strange mix of nostalgia and frustration. As I started cooking, memories of the first time we made the potion together came flooding back. We were both so excited about getting me some gains back then.

Following the steps carefully, I mixed the ingredients, heating them just right on the stove. After about two and a half hours, I had a batch of the potion ready. It wasn’t quite the right color – a bit more greenish than usual – but I had followed all the steps correctly.

"Good enough," I said, pouring the potion into a vial.

I made my way over to my apartment, feeling a mixture of anxiety and determination. Mark had insisted we go about our routines as normally as possible to avoid raising suspicion, but I knew that if I was going to get my body back, I had to act quickly.

As I approached the door, I fished out the vial of potion from my pocket. "No sense in asking him to swap back if he’s been avoiding me," I muttered to myself. I took a deep breath and downed the potion in one go, the familiar bitter taste washing over my tongue.

I entered the key code and opened the door, my heart pounding in my chest. I could hear movement in the bedroom, the sound of my own footsteps pacing around. Mentally preparing myself, I quietly made my way towards the noise.

I run in there and dive into my back. Except, once inside, I realize immediately that something is wrong. I'm not in control. I'm just a passenger in this body. Panic sets in as I shout in my head, "Mark, you fucker, what did you do?" But there's no reply. Shit, he can't hear me.

I feel myself walk over to the bathroom, catching a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror. Except it isn't me. It's some random kid. Who the fuck is this, I think to myself.

Not only did I make the potion wrong, I jumped into some random guy. And who the hell is he? Why is he alone in my apartment? My mind races with confusion and dread.

I hear the door open again and watch as my old self – Mark in my body – walks into the room.

"Hey babe," he says, his voice filled with affection as he pulls me in for a tender kiss. I'm shocked, but I can't do anything to resist.

"How was the gym?" I hear my body ask, its voice sounding strangely detached from my own thoughts.

"Oh, great," Mark responds, his eyes sparkling with excitement. "I think I'm in great shape for the competition." He flexes his muscles for emphasis. "But I'm still feeling a bit stressed," he adds, smirking at me seductively, walking to the bathroom and quickly indulging in some pump selfies.

I feel myself following him into the bathroom, my body moving on its own accord. I know what’s about to happen Panic sets in as I try to turn off my subconscious, but it's no use, I'm trapped.

I watch as my body turns on the water, and Mark looks at me with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Before we get in, I know how much you like my post-workout musk," he says with a smirk.

Despite my internal protests, I also feel a strange sense of anticipation. Mark pulls my head towards his armpit. I take a deep inhale and then begin to lick, finding it surprisingly tolerable. The taste is musky and slightly salty, but not as overpowering as I feared.

Once the shower is nice and steamy, we step in, enveloped in the warmth and the mist swirling around us. My new body takes the lead, its hands gliding over Mark’s – I mean my body’s – skin, caressing every curve and contour with the gentle pressure of the sudsy soap and the softness of the loofah. His muscles relax under my touch, and a contented sigh escapes his lips as I lavish attention on him.

Then, it's Mark's turn to return the favor. My body tries to make itself look as sexy as possible for him.

He turns me around, his touch sending shivers down my spine as he runs the loofah over my skin. I close my eyes, lost in the sensation of his hands caressing me, focusing on the way his fingers linger on my ass.

When he squeezes and playfully slaps my ass, I'm taken aback by the surge of arousal that washes over me. My heart races as I feel myself growing excited at his touch, unable to control the growing heat between my legs.

"Fuck," I feel my voice mutter, the intensity of the moment clearly overwhelming the guy in control of this body. If this didn’t fell so good, I would’ve realized that I’d never felt aroused by another guy when I had controlled Mark’s body

As Mark's hard cock pressed against my eager hole, a jolt of conflicting emotions surged through me. “I can’t be here for this,” I thought to myself, trying and failing again to retreat to my subconscious.

Then, finally, I felt the exhilarating sensation of him entering me.

Despite my initial resistance, a wave of unexpected pleasure washed over me, leaving me stunned by the intensity of the experience.

"Fuck," I thought, momentarily forgetting who I even actually was.

The sensation of being filled by my former cock was overwhelming. I find myself lost in the moment, my body eagerly responding to his every touch and thrust. I can’t deny the pleasure coursing through my veins as he drives into me.

As the pleasure builds to a crescendo, I feel myself teetering on the edge of ecstasy, my mind consumed by the raw intensity of the experience.

“Unghhhh Shane” I hear my voice moan uncontrollably.

That definitely got a reaction out of him. He starts thrusting into me even deeper.

“Wait,” I thought, “he’s not just enjoying this kids admittedly built body …  is he getting off on being me?”

“Fuck yeah, keep saying daddy’s name” he replies.

“Fuck me harder Shane,” I hear my voice beg.

Finally, with a guttural groan, Mark reaches his peak, his hot cum flooding into me, sending shockwaves of pleasure coursing through my body. I feel myself clenching around him, my own release echoing his as we both ride the waves of pleasure to completion.

As we catch our breath, Mark pulls away, a satisfied smile playing on his lips. Basking in the physical afterglow, I find myself struggling to come to terms with what just happened.

“That was another great one, babe. Your ass is so incredible,” he says, his voice tinged with satisfaction.

“Thanks, babe,” my body responds automatically, a smile forming on my lips as I lean in for another kiss under the warm cascade of water.

I had a million questions still racing around my head – “who is this kid”, “why can’t he hear me”, “how can I get my body back” – but one thought dominates above all others: When can I do that again?

To Be Continued ...

[whentherewerebicycles]

ok obviously because i am myself i have to journal through some Big Feelings!!!!

here are some of my feelings:

i feel an immense sense of relief. i have been in so much pain for so long with no solutions and no clear endpoint. i feel like i've been slowly losing my mind for weeks. it is just not good for your brain to experience that much pain or to feel that much raw despair every night for so long. i can have my baby and then i can have the surgeries and then i can get PT and then i can recover normal motor functions and not be in excruciating agony. i feel like i've been so deep in the despair pit that i've started losing sight of the fact that i'm genuinely excited to have a baby. i've started losing sight of the fact that there's going to be a baby, period. it's felt like this would just last forever and ever and ever. but it won't. it might last another month or two but from sunday onwards i will be moving in the direction of less pain.

i feel an immense sense of guilt. i know i should wait until 39-40 weeks for his health/well-being but also i know many people who were induced early and their babies are fine. i was born at 38 weeks and he'll be born at 37.5 weeks and i have had no lasting health issues. and they will keep a close eye on him and we will be able to manage anything that happens. i am trying not to let myself be swallowed up by the fear that i am being hugely selfish by prioritizing an end to my own pain over his well-being. i love him so much and i want him to be healthy but i also have to trust that my health and well-being matters and is important to his health and well-being. like i guess start as you mean to go on, you know, and i want to try to be a parent who can make decisions that take care of my kid but also honor my own needs.

i feel frustrated. as my sister pointed out if people had felt a greater sense of urgency about the pain earlier i probably could have gotten to "clear evidence of nerve damage" sooner and then had time to prepare for an early term induction instead of making it feel so rushed. also maybe i wouldn't have done so much damage to my hands in the meantime. i mean maybe everything would've played out exactly the same way and that's fine but it is still a little frustrating to tell people that you are in the worst pain you've ever experienced and to have them be like aw i'm sorry but that seems normal. but it's fine! it's fine.

i feel kind of proud of myself. one of my goals for pregnancy esp after the pregnancy loss over the summer was to get better at medical self-advocacy. i tend to be really cowed by doctors and to downplay symptoms or to assume that if i am a bit more forceful in asking for things i'll be labeled a difficult patient. but i think over the last couple months i have done a good job of nicely but firmly being like, this is not normal. this is not normal. this is not normal. i know you are saying this is normal but this is not and cannot be normal. and i feel like saying that repeatedly and showing up to the ED and calling all the time finally made people be like hm maybe this isn't normal, and then i was able to get objective confirmation that my hands were sooo fucked up, and now things are happening that are moving me towards a future without this pain.

i feel stressed about work but also in some ways i've moved so far beyond that i don't feel that stressed. like i just don't have time to care about my boss yelling at me or being passive-aggressive towards me for leaving early. i'm about to do something that is so, so, so, so, SO immensely more important and meaningful and life-affirming than like, figuring out who's going to cover tabling events or run an application workshop in the fall. like come on. i am not going to expend a single ounce of energy on that in this last week. i will wrap up everything to the very best of my ability and then i will leave it. nothing is life or death in this job, and i have done a good job already of preparing my team for the transition.

i feel panicky!!!!!! i'm going to have a baby in less than a week. i thought i had more time although like what was i even going to do with that time given the fact that i can barely perform household chores or type for more than 30 min at a time or sleep. i feel panicky just because it feels so sudden, but also like, i have everything i need to bring him home, and i've read all the books and done all the pre-baby prep work and i've spent nine months getting ready for this moment. i have a bunch of chores and errands i want to take care of before sunday, but then i want to really dedicate saturday to reflection and journaling and taking long walks and just like, experiencing the last day of being just me.

i feel grief!!!! a whole part of my life - the part where i'm not a parent - is ending. i wish i had more time to honor that transition and to reflect on what it meant. i will definitely carve out time this week to do that and will try to not fritter away the next five days with errands... i think it's much more important to spend time getting myself emotionally ready.

this is a little dumb but i must voice it aloud: i feel weirdly sad about ending the part of my life where my dogs were my most important companions & beloved creatures. i know they will continue to be my beloved creatures! my best little guy and my sweet scruffy little girl! but the time when we were just a little family unit of three is ending and everything will be different now even if it will also be better and richer in a whole host of ways. i have already done a lot of crying and forcibly snuggling a disgruntled Pip and i anticipate there is a lot more of that in my future this week lol. but we will take lots of good long walks and i'll snuggle them so much and i will just trust that it might take a little time for us to settle back into our new normal but we'll get there.

i feel grief, too, at the thought of not being pregnant anymore. in some ways i'm SO ready... my whole body just feels so heavy and so uncomfortable and so swollen, and of course, as you might have heard, my hands hurt so much i think about cutting my fingers off at least once a night. but for the most part, up until this last stretch of pain, i've really, really loved being pregnant. i love feeling him kick and stretch and roll over inside of me. i love rubbing the outside of my stomach and feeling him press against the inside in response, like we're talking to each other, like we're making contact. my baby!! my little guy i've carried inside of me for nine months. i did expect to have more time to savor the end of pregnancy and to honor the experience (even the painful parts) in ways that felt meaningful to me. i feel real grief about not being sure if i'll ever get to do this again! and i wish, idk, i wish i could've paced myself through the end of it differently and had time away from the distractions of work to really have this experience of being in my very pregnant body, connected to my baby in a way I'll never be again, in a way that has felt really deeply meaningful to me. i'll do my best to make that time this week, and i know it's ok, i know that the next chapter will be so good too, but i can grieve not getting to have the ending to pregnancy i wanted.

i feel ready to be changed forever. the rush at the end is not what i wanted for myself, just in terms of getting my head on straight before he arrived, but on some deeper level i've been ready for this for so long, and i'm so, so ready. i want to meet my baby. i can't believe he's going to be my kid for the rest of my life. i can't believe how lucky i am that i got to choose this for myself and that i get to live the life i wanted. i'm so ready. i'm so ready. i can't wait to meet my kid and i can't wait to meet my new self on the other side of this big, big, big, forever-life-altering change.

#pregnancy tag

[the-whispers-of-death]

New Guy

A/N: Python's introduction to Ghost!! Note that this OC will eventually be with Ghost.

*****************************************************************

Ghost finished up his workout in the base gym, grabbing a towel and wiping off the sweat on his neck. He waved goodbye to the few soldiers he knew, heading out of the base gym and towards the barracks.

As he walked, he heard whispers of an American joining one of the task forces as their medic. Supposedly it was because the task force needed a medic and there weren't any SAS medics who could be spared.

He huffed at the thought, wishing a silent good luck to the task force that was unlucky enough to have an American medic.

Ghost opened the door to the barracks which were assigned to everyone in the 141. As he entered the barracks, he expected it to be empty since he knew the rest of the 141 were away training or doing paperwork. However, as he stepped inside, it wasn't empty.

There stood a tall, shirtless man who had to be no taller than six-foot-six and had light brown skin that seemed to be covered in tattoos. With his back towards Ghost, he was the process of putting on a shirt, his head covered by a black balaclava, and Ghost could see the full sleeve tattoos of snakes and a large tattoo of a snake spiraling up the man's back. The man was burly, muscular with a thick layer of fat on top of the muscles.

Ghost snapped out of his stupor, remembering who he was and clearing his throat. "You're in the wrong barracks, mate," he said, annoyance lacing his voice as he stared at the irritatingly mouth-watering man. "These barracks are for the Task Force 141."

The man finished putting on his shirt, somehow managing to do so without disturbing his balaclava and mask, before he turned to face Ghost. He had on a black hard-plated mask which had gold etchings of a snake coiling all around the mask.

"No, I'm in the right barracks," the man said, Ghost noting the American accent and the way the man's voice was deep but harsh. "Captain Price showed me where to go."

At that words, it clicked in Ghost's head that this was the American medic he had heard about on his way to the barracks. The task force that got said medic was the 141. Great.

"So you're the medic that has the whole base alight with gossip," Ghost grumbled, stepping closer and eyeing the man. His eyes settled on the man's mask and it ticked him off how much they looked similar. "Why do you wear a mask?"

The man seemed unperturbed by the way Ghost was eyeing him warily, as if he was bored. "For the same reason you probably wears yours. For anonymity," he replied. "Call me Python."

Ghost raised his eyebrow underneath his mask, not that Python could see it. "Python?" He tested the callsign on his tongue before huffing in annoyance. "That's a mouthful."

"Yes, but it's not like I chose the callsign myself." Python lifted up his duffel bag with ease and set it down on the bunk that wasn't being used. He definitely sounded bored. "Any other burning questions?"

"Why do they call you "Python"?" Ghost asked, ignoring how rude Python was being. It wasn't like Ghost was being nice either.

"You going to tell me why they call you "Ghost"?" Python shot back, turning back around to face Ghost and crossing his arms.

Ghost scowled beneath his mask, crossing his arms as well. "Don't do that, don't be cagey with me." His irritation was rising steadily. "I'm the mysterious one in this task force."

Python surprisingly laughed, his laughter deep and lacking any actual amusement. He stepped closer, making Ghost step back instinctively. "I guess you're not the only mysterious one here anymore, Ghost." He sucked his teeth. "Deal with it."

Python then turned away from Ghost again, the sharp change of movement making his medical bag clack against his uniform, drawing Ghost's attention to it.

"You have a shitty attitude for a medic," Ghost muttered underneath his breath, glowering at the man in front of him now.

"I didn't think the great and all-powerful Ghost would cower at a little bit of attitude thrown his way." Python taunted, glancing back at Ghost before unzipping his duffel bag to take out something. He then took a big sniff of the air before making a sound of disgust. "You should shower, you stink."

He zipped up the duffel bag again and then moved past Ghost, leaving the barracks to go God knows where. One minute he was there and the next, Ghost was alone, staring at where Python had been.

Ghost blinked once and then twice, his eyebrows furrowing. "I'm going to have Price transfer him," he grumbled to himself before making his way to the communal bathroom.

*****************************************************************

A/N: I didn't know this OC x Canon relationship would be rivals to lovers (I don't think we can classify them as enemies, not even sure if we could classify them as rivals really), but as Python likes to chant in my head, "Stone might be a bigger bitch, but I'm still a bitch!" (I don't know why he likes to chant that in my head.) So um, this is just how Python is, I guess.

Reblogs are welcomed & appreciated! Asks are open, feel free to pop in and request something! (Check the rules in "Rules for Requesting NSFW" before requesting.)

#simon ghost riley #simon riley #simon ghost #ghost cod #ghost riley #task force 141 oc #call of duty oc #cod oc #simon ghost riley x male oc #simon riley x male oc #simon ghost x male oc #ghost x male oc #ghost riley x male oc #task force 141 oc: python #call of duty oc: python #cod oc: python #python x simon ghost riely #simon ghost riley x python #python x ghost #ghost x python #call of duty #cod modern warefare 2 #cod mwii #cod mw2 #cod #this is short whoops #:)

[sunnysidestories]

Introductions Pt 3

Summary: Reader is a vigilante on young justice who goes to the same school as Walls. Only Wally doesn't know the readers identity, but she knows his. SLOW BURN

LAST PART

Part 1

Part 2

"Oh."

His body would stop moving in my arms. Being the only thing holding him up at the moment gave the leverage needed to move him forward, slowly. At this point, the fight had ended, and the rest of the team sat looking at Wallys disheveled appearance, his eyes blown wide open in shock. Robin was the first to our side spouting words that couldn't reach my ears. I didn't allow it. Step by step down the hall and back into the bioship. A deer in headlights was the only thing that seemed remotely close to how Wally had reacted.

Mind beginning to race, doubts returning, as I sat Wally down in a seat. He crossed his arms, folding himself in the seat in an attempt to shrink in size. I knew it. He didn't like me. I've ruined it. I'm - I'm a-

The feeling of a hand gripping my shoulder forced me to turn around. In my own state of mind, I somehow had reached the other side of the ship. Robin's words finally flooded into my skull. "H/n! What did you say to him? He completely slacked. You two almost fell off the edge." Oh. Yeah. "I'll tell you another time. I just wanna go home." Tears seemed to brim around the edge of my mask, threatening to spill with any further explanation.

...

Idiot. Kicking off my gear, throwing it onto the small corner holding dirty clothes. Idiot. Before dropping to the floor, head pressed into the side of the mattress, pathetically gripping the sheet. Finally, starting to cry. Everything started to crumble, the mountain of self-worth that has been slowly starting to build over the year shattered. Built on a foundation of hope. A hope that he, Wally, had liked what he saw. It's so silly to put so much on a boy. One that didn't even accept you for who you were. A disappointment, it could have been anyone in the world on that roof with him. Anyone could be H/n, just had to be you. A girl from his class who fell in love with both sides of him.

I love him. Shutting my eyes, I whisper it to myself, I love him. Stupid, this is how I realized. Slowly standing back up, I started to recollect myself. Walking over to the window, half expecting to see the yellow blur pass by in a sense of familiarity. Nothing. He couldn't even run by the house. Like he even knew you lived there. Walking... no stumbling, back to bed, trying to hide in the blankets warmth. I would roll over, adjusting myself, only stopping as the crinkle of a paper made itself known under the pillow.

Of course, I left it out. Of course, I left out one of the silly little notes he wrote. Hand reaching out, I grab the small folded paper. I know I shouldn't open it, but I find myself doing the exact opposite.

"What do you call an acid with an attitude?.... A-mean-oh-acid. Ha. Ha. Ha. That was bad. im sorry, but like, did you know the acid in your stomach is the strongest in the world. So strong it can dissolve a razor blade? If i ate one i wonder if id be okay"

He's right. It was bad. Terrible. Stupid even, but I can't stop myself when a smile graced my face. I wouldn't be surprised if he actually would try to eat one. I crumble the note and his perfectly placed handwriting. Another tear frames my face. Another momment passed before I realized, I have school tommorow.

With him.

On another note. I'm staying home tomorrow.

.

.

.

.

.

FLEETFEET

Hey

Sent 12:13am

I'm not mad please just, text me back.

Please H/n.

Sent 12:30am

Can you call?

Sent 12:32am

Please, I just really need to talk to you.

Sent 12:45am

Y/n

Seen 12:55am

FLEETFEET

Incoming Call

📞

.

.

.

.

.

.

I click open my screen when waken by the sounds of my ringer. I accept the call, sleep fogging my vision. "Hello? It's one in the morning. Who is it?" I can hear a sigh over the other sign of the phone. "It's you." Oh. Oh, sh- "Y/n please, I'm coming over." His voice states rushed to the point my brain doesn't hear the last bits. "Wally, you don't know wher- why? Huh ? you're supposed to be mad right now." He laughs and I can hear the sound of a door closing behind him. "Wallace are you actually, Wally please its so late my parents are sleeping and I live on the second floor Walls they would kill me if they saw you."

I sit up straight in bed, partially realizing the state I sat in. Messy hair, a tear stained face, pathetic truly, my grip on the phone increases. If he's going to be here maybe I should put on some clothes... wait, what am I even saying ? "Wally? Where are you?" I check the phone, somewhere in my panic he hung up on me. I get up quickly grabbing a pair of shorts and I shirt. There's no way he knows where I live? Wally knows where I live? Kid Flash knows where.... without thinking I find myself trying to pick up my room half way through it there's a knock on the window.

No way.

I rush to the window pulling back my curtain, and there he was, standing in the fire escape. The largest grin plastered his face, growing twice in size as I open the window. Somewhere along the way he had changed into normal attire. A black shirt, and matching shorts. As if it was a covert mission. I look up to him, the very eyes I've stared at far too long catching my own, those freckled cheeks dancing as if they were the stars themselves when he spoke. In an instant he's inside, holding me close. "I'm so glad it's you."

His voice. His words. Words so desperately needed to be said, the way he seemed to melt back into my arms once more. It was too much. I began to cry again.

"Wally- I- I should have told you sooner." Eventually, I choked out. Even if he's quick to reply. "No. I shouldn't of reacted the way I did. If i'm honest, I don't even remember how I got home. I just could hear you. Over and over. Saying your name, h/n just saying y/n. I was just thinking. Trying to grasp that the two people I'd fallen in love with over the year... Are the same person? How was I so stupid? " He ducked his head back into my neck.

My heart spiked. One of his hands traveled to my face, whiping some of my tears, they were surprisingly soft.

"You're anything but. You're kind, you have the best jokes, light up any room you inhabit, and always know anything and everything when it comes to science." I pull away from him, the close proximity suddenly becoming too much, in the small space of the room I take a step back. Besides. I want to look at him when I talk. It's so much easier to read him. "Don't call yourself stupid. I hate it when you put yourself down like that."

"You're the one to talk." His eyes flicker to mine again. "Somedays, sure, it's better than most. I knowtice it. I watch you y/n. Even after our conversation. You beat yourself up over the smallest of things. You think you're the smallest thing, an atom in a world full of matter. But you do, atoms make up everything, make up matter. You matter. You matter to me! You matter!" He points to my heart and states.

I can't help it when I laugh at his accidental joke. Despite the situation, he can't help but bring science into it, into a joke.

"Every night when I can, I run past your house looking at that lamp of yours. You never turn it off until you head to bed. And well, the more I think about it, I kind of- sort of realize you were never in bed and probably out on patrol- and I know you're okay. Because I care, I care so much." I can hear the faint way his voice cracks. Are his eyes watering? I reach out for him, grabbing his hand in both of mine. He's always been so warm.

"I care because I love you y/n, and it's such a bonus that you're h/n because, heck, I fell in love with her too." He squeezes my hand "Even if you tried to hide your real self to the team. Those little things that slipped through, the real you. You might not see it. But I did. Those things I loved." My face becomes increasingly hot as he goes on.

"-how you think before you reply to me, bitting your cheek as you do so. How you listen to me. Putting your head in your hands and looking right at me. Even if what I'm saying is the most random thing. Do you know how hard it is trying to not forget what I was saying when you'd look at me like that? With such-" -Love' I finished in my head, watching how his eyebrows furrowed. As he tried and failed to find the right word. I go to say something, getting cut off quickly.

"-You'll remember. Like when I told you my birthday offhand and you bought me something." He throws his arms up in the air, and his head back, with his eyes closed. "Then got me something as y/n, and I was so confused how you knew it was my birthday. You bought me two things! Just to hide it." He laughed, looking down at his feet. Before placing a hand over his face.

By now, it was evident he was blushing. Once again, he was the color of his hair, no redder. "I just wish you could see yourself like I do y/n."

It's quiet for too long before I finally speak. "I'm trying... it's hard. It really is Wally. You've done more than you realize. Yes, some days are harder than others. I'm not perfect. But it isn't so hard with you there, and when you're not there, your notes are." I slip.

"I KNEW IT!"

He yelps before I quickly grasp my hand over his mouth. "Shhhh! If you wake my parents right now, Wallace, I will actually never talk to you again." Letting him go he starts to shake. Visibly shake. Like when we're fighting in combat, using his speed, it always happened when he got too excited. He's got that look on his face again. Like he's up to no good. Did- did me grabbing him cause that reaction?

"Yes, I keep your notes!" It feels good to admit. "They remind me of you, and you make me feel safe, compared to everything you've made me feel known, seen! I love you too, okay? said it!" I whisper in a yell.

The blur of red registers as it zips into my direction. His smell fills my noise as his lips meet my own. Dipping me slightly with a hand on my lower back, the other snaking around my neck... Like an old book, he smells like that stupid textbook.

My eyes are wide, not expecting the outburst of his speed to be used in such a way. Eventually though. When I realize what had just happened, I return the kiss. It felt like it lasted forever, and not nearly long enough at the same time.

As he pulled away, he apologized. I shut him up quickly by kissing him again, before my bedroom door opens, my light flicking on.,

"Y/n? What are you doing up so late I could of sworn I heard someone?" My mother calls as I turn to her. "Oh well-" I turn back to look to Wally. Only for him to be gone. "I just was using the bathtoom. I stubbed my toe though and yelled. Sorry if I woke you." She sighed biding me goodnight and closing the door. Wally rolls out from under my bed as I smack my face with a groan.

...

..

.

Five years later

.

..

...

"Wally, I don't know about this. There's supposed to be a lot of important scientists there - I shouldn't be just going with you!" He rolls his eyes, adjustinging his tie. "You've meet my uncle before, and he's the smartest one there."

"How do you always drag me into this?" I ask aloud, hooking my hand into his, while we walk inside. "Because you love me?" He states with a roll of his eye. He leads me past the party goers until we reach his Uncle, who was engaged in conversation with a small group. He greets us both with a smile. I let go of Wally to shake their hands.

"Hi, it's nice to meet you all, I've heard so much about your research. I'm Barry's nephew. Wallace West, but people call me Wally. This is my lovely wife-" I finish "-Y/n, y/n West. It's a pleasure."

.

..

...

@redsakura101 )) ;)

A/N

Sooo???? I finally finished it..... what did we think? How many little details did you knowtice? And God did I forget how much I don't like writing in first person. Is that part of the reason why I didn't update this?? Yes. Is it also because I fell a bit out of DC??? Also yes! Anyways I love you guys and I really hope you enjoyed the last part. I hope it was worth the wait, and I didn't misspell or have too many gramatical errors.

Pls request things! Kk! 💞

~Sunny

#wally west x reader #wally west #kid flash x reader #young justice x reader #young justice imagines #wally west x you

[knifearo]

being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one

#aromantic people are just sexy i'm not making the decisions here it's just facts #course ur hot as fuck. it came free with the aromanticism #being sexy is just default settings for aromantic people 👍 #hope this all helps. anyway i'm on my 'i hope i die alone <3 i can't wait to die alone <3' kick rn #i think the existential fear that people have of Not Partnering specifically is so. well. #obviously that shit is strong and it is SO awesome to be free of it. #realizing you're aro and you don't Want a partner can be such a hit to the solar plexus #cause society says that's the only thing that'll make you happy. so either you go without that thing or you force yourself #into doing something you don't want which would make you unhappy anyway. #so you think it's a lose lose situation and you have to come to terms with what amatonormativity presents as the worst possible situation #but then! whoa! turns out personhood is inherently valuable in and of itself and romantic partnering is just a construct! #and that nightmare is now your life to do with as you please... define as you will... structure as you want... #best case scenario. is what i'm saying. #every day i wake up ready to spit all that amatonormative rhetoric back in life's teeth by being alone and being happy #and it's so fucking satisfying. every day. #fucking JUBILANT being by myself. and i love being a living breathing 'fuck you' to the romantic system #you need a partner to be happy? oh that's sooo fucking crazy guess i'll go be miserable then. in my perfect fucking dream life lmao #yeah obviously it's the worst possible outcome on earth to die without a partner. so terrible. can't wait for it :) #aromantic #aromanticism #aro positivity #aroace #arospec #sorry to bitches who are sad about not having a partner. i could not give a fuck though get better soon #you couldn't EVER pay me enough to go back to a mindset in which my inherent value wasn't enough by myself. #FUCK that shit. absolutely miserable and a bad life outlook in general. like genuinely do the work w/ amatonormativity and get better #life is something that can be so fulfilling whether someone wants to kiss you or whatever or not #i'm on antidepressants and i have people i care deeply about. what the fuck would i need a partner for lmao

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy Valentine's Day! (and this blog's first post anniversary!)

#poorly drawn mdzs #better drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #Woah...it's been a whole *year* since I took the leap and uploaded my 'first attempt' art. #It's outdated now but it holds a special place in my heart for the fact it started all of this off. #Calling this 'poorly-drawn' was always about accepting that my art was going to be imperfect and messy - and doing it anyways! #There has been a staggering number of times I have drawn something I almost didn't upload because I didn't think it was 'good enough' #only for someone to say they liked it - or that it made them laugh. And it has helped me realize - #-The worst critic for my work has always been myself. If I listened to it all the time...well we would not be here now B'*) #And now that I have dabbled in other fandoms I can truly see how lucky was to start out with the MXTX fans. #The supportive messages and tags have truly been a guiding force toward my artistic and self improvement. #I really can't describe how grateful I am. #Thank you for seeing something worth rooting for when I was just figuring things out. #Thank you for being sweeter than the candy I have strategically hidden in the nooks and crannies of this house. #But watch out! If you forget to find them we will get ants. #I remembered to not hide chocolate in the bed this year. Yes I know it melted last time. Yes it did stain. I'm still sorry. #Thank you for loving me regardless <3 Even if it looked like I shit the bed real bad.

[lunarharp]

if i just told you i love you would this world change

#witch hat tag #orufrey #these kinda suck lol i feel like i cant draw right now *irritated sigh* BUT I FEEL EMOTIONS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #if you are gay go watch good omens season 2 right now. NO YOU DONT KNOW THO!!!!!!!!! #i know being this affected by good omens is probably cringe. I dont care any more. the last 1 minute of good omens season 2 was #some of the most affecting acting i've ever seen in my life. sometimes someone acts with the force as if their entire career led to that #like during the credits part the very end im not even talking about before that. holy god #aziraphale i know everything about you. i know what you are feeling right now. i can see everything on your face. we're going to make it #ER.... NOT THAT THIS HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS POST. IT'S NOT SPOILERS !!!!!!!!!!!!! #I JUST FEEL THOROUGHLY CHANGED !!!!!!!!!!! SHIT GETS REAL FROM NOW ON.. LIKE IN GENERAL! IN MY LIFE! #tormented gay love tormented gay love TORMENTED GAY LOVE TORMENTED GAY LOVE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #btw the first 3 images were drawn earlier with an entirely different feeling and an entirely different mood. #Why do you keep pulling away from me? #It is because i love you that i do this #the lyrics from one of my japanese orufrey songs (A SONG THAT THE CREATOR LISTENS TO!!!!) led to feelings #“あなたが知らない私を残さず見ててほしいの” but i'm not translating it cause it just sounds weird. if with his eyes oru's asking “WHY don't you want #to let me in? to see all of you?“ those lyrics are like ”I actually want you to see every last bit of the parts of me you don't know“ #oru you have no idea how much i want to lay bare my whole soul for you #maybe it's an alternate version of chapter 40. to me #i need to draw something really fucking good or i'm not going to forgive myself. i will not rest in this life #until i have made the orufrey that fully satisfies me nor until i have seen what the manga is leading to #NO STORY MEANS ANYTHING WITHOUT TORMENTED GAY LOVE AT THE HEART OF IT. THATS THE HEART OF THIS WORLD!!!!! #........... so Hi im normal :) haha *goes and finally makes breakfast*