#and past me wasnt half as bad as they thought either

[onionninjasstuff]

#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #rottmnt donnie #no real context lmao #just found an ancient sketch of this and got out of nowhere motivation to finish it #thinking abt the way i used to treat myself in the past is very bittersweet #cuz i lost sm time worrying abt my skills and presentation and restricting myself a lot and demanding so much out of myself all the time #i still struggle with it #but at the same time looking back fills me w pride and love for both my current and past selves #theres a lot of growth and progress there #and past me wasnt half as bad as they thought either #never be hard on urselves gamers #go out there embrace the world embrace urselves

[gamblersdoll]

IT'S THE MATTER OF IT.

summary: after dying of hanahaki disease, youre reincarnated.. but you are the past lover of the king of curses.

WARNING: story contains sexual content, blood, gore, death of reader in first half.

"sukuna-sama." she said, bowing to the tallest man she's ever seen. she wasnt too afraid of him, but she gave him his respect he required.

"Y/N." he said, looking down at her. "are you still sick?" he asked, almost sounding worried.

was he even caring... of course not. he is sukuna after all.

"yeah. im not sure why." she said, shaking her head in a light chuckle. "ill be okay though."

"if you say so, Y/N." he said, turning his focus to uraume. the voices of the person you loved and cared for, and the person you were acquainted with drowned out.

if only you knew.

coughing violently, you covered your mouth and witnessed a petal falling into your hand.

you're fucking with me.. right?

you couldn't allow sukuna to witness that, then he'd either call you pathetic or actually showing true concern and hunting down whoever you were in love with and making them pay. but the first thought was that he truly wouldn't care.

or so you thought when you landed in a bedridden state, the flowers consuming your lungs and making it up to your esophagus and eyes, almost not being able to speak nor see.

"why on earth didn't you say anything? you know how dangerous this is!" uraume screamed, worried that their friend would die– no, you were dying for certain. you couldn't tell sukuna that you loved him. otherwise, he'd laugh.

"its... fine." you whispered, only a whisper is what you could do. or risk you damaging your throat from the thorns. "where is ryo..?" you asked, barely seeing uraume's white and red hair.

"he said he was coming, I don't know y/n..." they said, raking their hands through your locs, the locs that sukuna somewhat admired.

"is it okay if I nap? getting really sleepy." you asked , smiling softly until you again, violently coughed up blood and flower petals.

"... yeah." uraume said, leaving you to yourself. they walked out the room to see sukuna, conversing with him about you. how bad have you gotten? he didn't know.

he doesn't care.

the door opened and closed slowly, revealing a flower consumed you, your eyes have flowered out, but still managing to speak.

"who is it." he asked, glooming over you with worried eyes, but filled with.. rage? you didn't know. you couldn't see him, but you could hear him.

"i..." you trailed off, wondering if it was worth telling him. you decided against better judgment, coughing for a bit until you could feel yourself slipping away from life, deciding it was time.

"you." you had said, "it was you...." until you took your last final breath, the prettiest, bloodiest flower consuming you whole , sprouting out your mouth, and eventually, your heart stopped beating. all your warmth had gone away.

sukuna stood there with a blank expression, his hands did tremble a bit, but only for a few seconds in counting. he thought about pumping your heart, but he knew by his strength and anger, he'd crush your ribs, stabbing through your lungs from the brutal force he'd press onto you.

"ill make you pay for putting me in such a position like this, you damned woman."

—————————————

"y/n, these are your classmates slash partners, nobara , megumi, annndddd... yuuji!" gojo had announced, clapping his hands together in glee. "y/n and yuuji, you'll be great friends!"

"why would we be." you deadpanned, folding your arms and tapping your foot. "why are you so excited anyway? it's nine in the morning."

you felt a pair of eyes on you, it felt... dangerous. like a curse is watching you. you didn't recognize them, but yuuji gave you the friendliest smile and shook your hand, while in sukuna's domain, he peaked through yuuji's cheek.

there is no way you're here, you damned woman.

#jjk x reader #sukuna x reader #sukuna x you #reincarnation #itadori yuuji #jujutsu gojo #nobara kugisaki #megumi fushiguro #jjk spoilers

[femwrldsstuff]

Clueless!

Ponyboy x fem!reader

I was hiding away with ponyboy and Johnny after johnny killed a Soc to save me and Ponyboy. Since I was involved, I stayed with pony and johnny. Me, ponyboy, and johnny here huddled together inside the church, asleep.

I woke up from a bad dream,breathing heavily.

Without making a sound,I stood up and walked out of the church.

These past days were hell for me,my routine was:cry,sleep,cry again and then fall asleep again.

Same cycle everyday.

And now it wasn't different,there wasnt one moment were i wasn't crying.

I was crying so much to the point they got annoyed by it.

But I knew they wouldn't admit it,or atleast I hoped so.

Suddendly I heard some noise from behind me,quickly wiping the tears off.

"It's not safe for you out here, we're still wanted, you have to come back in....."

Ponyboy mumbled half asleep.

I sighed and walked back in,Johnny was now awake,Ponyboy probably woke him up.

"Good, I was worried you would run aw-"

Johnny stopped mid sentence, once he saw your face, and the amount of tears that were streaming down your face.

"Have the tears stopped flowing for even a second?"

Ponyboy asked queitly.

I looked at him for a few seconds before hugging him,literally sobbing.

Ponyboy hugged me back, rubbing my back, trying to comfort me in some way.

Johnny sighed,sitting down.

My attention turned to Johnny for a few seconds but then quickly back to Ponyboy.

Johnny looked at me, he seemed to be getting annoyed from the constant sobbing.

Ponyboy, who was still hugging you, looked over at him, and shot him a don't you dare say anything about her crying look.

I burried my head in his chest,seeking for comfort.

Ponyboy continued to hug you he felt like nothing could go wrong if he could just keep hugging you the whole day.

Johnny walked over to the window, and started smoking again, now just staring out the window.

After a while I let go off him,sitting down in the corner.

I was thinking about Ponyboy,remembering how Cherry mentioned one or two times how she found him cute but I couldn't understand.

I hated it, and I hated her even more for that.

I mean,what is my problem?

Cherry is my pal.

I don't begrudge her a boyfriend.....

What does she want with Ponyboy anyway?

He dresses funny,he listens to complaint rock.

He's not even cute in a conventional way.

I mean,he's just this....slug.

Who hangs around the house all the time.

And he's a hideous dancer.

Couldn't take him anywhere.

"Wait a second,what am I stressing about?"

I thought to myself.

This is like,Ponyboy.

Okay,okay.

So he is kind of a Baldwin.

But what would he want with Cherry?

She couldn't make him happy.

Ponyboy needs someone with imagination,someone to take care of him.

Someone to laugh at his jokes,in case he ever makes any.

Then suddendly....

Oh,my God!

I love Ponyboy.

I am majorly,totally,butt crazy in love with Ponyboy!

But now I don't know how to act around him....

The day passed like crazy,soon enough we all fell asleep.

But I just couldn't,not when I was laying on the ground just a few inches away from him.

But he wasn't sleeping either,wich was good.

I looked at him....

All of a sudden I was all tense around him,there was no playfullness anymore.

Ponyboy noticed that,he thought you were mad at him....

"What's up with you?" Ponyboy asked.

"Nothin'." I answered shortly,i just couldn't be around him.

Ponyboy wasn't buying your explanation, you were always so bubbly and playful when you were with him, but now you were all tense, and reserved, there was something wrong, he was sure. He grabbed your hand and looked you directly in the eyes.

"Tell me what's wrong."

I blushed hardly and pulled my hand away "I need to take a breath...." I said,walking out the church.

Ponyboy got curious, he got curious as to why you pulled away, what was with that blush, and why the sudden mood shift... He got back up, and followed you out.

I sat down on the front porch.

He made sure the front door was closed, and sat next you, getting uncomfortably close to you, and getting so near your face, you could feel his breath on your skin.

"Tell me now."

I just couldn't,what if he didn't like me back?!

Of course he didn't....

I was freaking out that's for sure.

I loved him so much and I hated to lie to him.

But I kinda had to in this situation,it was a 50-50 chance here.

So I just decided to go for it....

I sighed "You know how much I hate when Cherry swoons over you?"

Ponyboy sat up, shocked, but relieved, this whole thing was just a girl having a crush on him. He leaned back, letting out a huge sigh, and looking at you.

"Yeah, I do remember, what about it?"

"Well,I kinda know why...." I mumbled.

Ponyboy was confused.

Ponyboy's face softened, and he had this slight smile on his face, he was just happy you didn't hate him.

"And why do you hate it?"

I sighed and leaned in,I did it,I kissed him!

Ponyboy wrapped his arms around you and kissed you back, and pulled you close. He kept kissing you for what felt like all eternity, his hands on your head, in your hair, on your back, rubbing, grabbing, squeezing, it felt so comfortable to be in his arms. You both fell onto his back, but he didn't let go of you, he just pulled you closer, wrapping himself around you.

After a bit we both pulled away....

I smiled "I love you Ponyboy Curtis."

"And I love you Y/N Y/L/N."

From the start,you were both cluelessly in love with eachother.

So....this was kind of a Clueless refference!

Hope y'all enjoyed!

#the outsiders #the outsiders fanfiction #the outsiders ponyboy #ponyboy curtis #ponyboy x reader #love #fanfic #y/n #ponyboy curtis x reader #ponyboy michael curtis #johnny cade #clueless #cherry #Spotify

[wc-wild-rewrite]

So, Swiftpaw won the story poll, which means i get to deep dive into my story for him. This is subject to change, as i havent finalized the plot past arc 2.

Anyway, under the cut bc it got long

Theres no change to his parentage in this rewrite, still the eldest son of Goldenflower and some loner, one difference is that he isn't a single litter. His sibling, Lynxshine, is here too.

Named after the bird and not the trait, Swiftkit was, in fact, fastest kitten in the nursery, with constantly abundant energy and a bad habit of saying unintentionally hilarious stuff and accidentally insulting other cats. He and two of his denmates, Bracken and Thorn, often played rough and competed with eachother in camp races and mossball, but their collective energy often got one of them, or someone else, hurt or disgruntled.

There were two cats he liked playing with the most that werent in the den, though. Ravenpaw and Tigerclaw. Yes, you heard me.

Ravenpaw was fantastic with kits, he and his denmates loved to sit around and listen to the tom tell wild stories of battles and historic leaders. But that stuff was of the far past, Tigerclaw offered more recent stories, ones that other cats- even his mother- could confirm and add onto. Tigerclaw had a soft spot for kits, you see, so he played with them in the times when he wasnt brooding or plotting his next move. Not wildly, not even particularly well, but the kits loved to play with him.

Anyway, swiftpaw.

As an apprentice, he learnt to manage his energy a bit better, especially under the mentorship of formerly-batshit-kitten Longtail. Unfortunately, this was still in Longtail's asshole Tiger supporter era, so Swift ended up getting kind of pushy towards the other apprentices. He and Thorn developed a rivarly that never really stopped, but as apprentices, it wasn't too friendly. At the end of the day, though, he got along well enough with his denmates. When his littermate came out as a Half-tom (demiboy), he was his number one supporter.

It was around the start of his apprenticeship that Tigerclaw and Goldenflower became mates and, unfortunately, Swiftpaw started to look up to him, as the brave, strong warrior Thunderclan thought he was. He idolized him, even, like his mentor did, and his mentor before that. He quickly started bragging that his dad was deputy, that his dad was the brave warrior that avenged the old deputy and killed the horrible Oakheart.

When Cinderpaw got hit, and Darksong moved to Thunderclan to train her, he picked fights with any cat that would so much as look at either cat wrong. Thankfully, a lot of the senior warriors seemed oddly calm about Darksong, and once Yellowfang started snapping at those who made remarks too, he calmed down mostly. He did, however, get in trouble for nearly clawing another apprentice's ear off at a gathering for such a comment, though. It was less of a "that wasn't right" punishment and more of a "your right but we cant let you get away with violence" punishment

He got increasingly snappy with other clan patrols when he came across them, a bi-product of his step-father's manipulation. After all, he was a strong warrior that protected his clan, of course he wouldn't be friends with other clans.

And then, of course, Tigerclaw was outed for his plan. And his world came crashing down. His father, the father of his soon-to-be-born siblings, was not only a fraud, but a murderer. He had not only killed the former deputy, but Swiftpaw's own uncle, Lionheart. Who was also the father of his denmates. For a while, he became very avoidant with them, too ashamed of his former praise to look them in the eyes. Eventually, Brightpaw calmed him down, and told him nobody was mad at him. He hadn't killed Lionheart, Tigerclaw had.

Unfortunately, not every cat saw it that way, and some of the other cats- the elders particularly- started whispering about him and his behaviour, about how he acted like Tigerclaw, how close he was with him, even pointing out similarities in pelt and body, despite them not being blood.

This was at the same time as his younger siblings were born- Bramble, Tawny, Snow, and Mistle. And you bet that all of them were viewed in a bad way. But this made Swiftpaw worse. Unlike his littermate, who isolated himself from the glaring cats, or his sister, who went and joined Shadowclan, Swift got angry. He got angry, and defense, and wildly protective of his siblings.

When a fire swept through the territory, Swift gathered his siblings and herded them out. But he didn't get Bramble, who had hid from the noise of the scramble to get out. When Swift discovered Yellowfang, his brother's mentor, died because Fireheart had gone back for Bramblekit, it only worsened things.

But that wasn't the last of it. Mistlekit would fall dangerously ill with Greencough in the same moon that Snowkit got snatched by the hawk. He and Bracken chased the hawk until it went past the thunderpath, and he nearly got ran over trying to go after it, only saved by a quick acting Brackenfur. He was sure his baby brother was dead, he was only a few moons old, he couldn't possibly survive a hawk like that. But, thanks to a certain Shadowclan warrior, his brother was saved, if very injured. This didn't stop him from blaming himself for it, like Brackenfur did. If he had been faster, if he had saw the hawk, if he had been watching his brother instead of his sister-

And then Bluestar refused to make him a warrior. That was, essentially, his breaking point. He was held back for moons, his mentor said he was ready, and yet the disobediant tom that was Cloudpaw was allowed to get his warrior name.

He overheard from one of the elders a way that thunderclan used to give out warrior names. Back in tigerclaw's time and before, they used to have to perform something big to prove their loyalty. Swiftpaw remembered hearing about the dog in Sunningrocks, and immediately went to tell the other apprentices. They refused to go with him, knowing it was dangerous, even when Thornpaw too was annoyed at being held back even longer. But he was deadset, he had always been stubborn, but his emotions had been pulled taught by the last few moons, and Brightpaw knew it. So they went off to Sunningrocks.

I don't think i need to describe what followed.

When he awoke, he was covered in bandages, several days later, with his brother reapplying some of them. Brightpaw laid beside him, even more injured than he was. And he realised he almost got her killed. Almost. She had woken before him, but not by long. Bluestar entered the den, giving them a dying apprentice ceremony, naming them Losthope and Dogbite respectively.

And then he discovered his leg had been broken beyond repair. Not enough for removal, but very broken. When he eventually recovered enough to stand, he found he couldn't move his foot at all. Alongside that, he had permenantly lost a few teeth, which messed with his speech, and had some nasty chronic pain. His brother called him a miracle. He had scarring all over his neck, his stomach had clearly been ripped open to some amount, and yet he was alive with far less lasting damage then he should've had.

Lynx, Cinder, Bracken, and Thorn helped him and Bright through their physical therapy. His younger siblings, all healthy by that point, and his mother supported them through it all. He was still angry at being named Dogbite, but it had been a wake up call for him. His rash, angry behaviour, trying to be 'the best', had nearly gotten him and his friend killed.

When Firestar became leader, he was almost called Swiftwing, but wanted to match with Brightheart. And so, he became Swiftheart.

He changed after that, quite significantly. He stopped being so aggressive, he started to unlearn the toxic behaviour Tigerclaw had taught him, and he started being friendlier to other clans. He fought against Tigerclan fiercly, and ended up meeting Gorseflame.

At first, they began talking at gatherings and border patrols, but then they started meeting up, staying behind after gatherings, sneaking out of camp. By the time The New Prophecy happens, he's in love with Gorseflame. They keep it secret, shockingly effectively, mostly thanks to Lynxpaw and Darksong, both of whom were aware of it.

He participated in the Great Journey, and got even closer to Gorseflame during it, becoming mates with him by the time The Power Of Six (Arc 3) came around.

This is where the plot and his involvement gets a tad blurry, but overall he survives the Great Battle, makes the second Great Journey to the new-new territories, and, once cross-clan mates became allowed, had a litter of kits with Gorseflame, with some surrogate help from a Windclan molly.

He became a respected warrior, admired for his bravery and determination.

His kits became Nighthop, Dawnsplash, and Dayshine, with Dawnsplash living in Windclan.

He witnessed the deaths of Bramble, Lynx, and Snow, but was outlived by Mistle.

At the end of Arc 4.5, he notices his vision is going, and rather quickly, one eye more than the other. He didn't know wether to blame this on his old injuries, or a family thing.

Eventually, though, he was sent out with Sandstorm and Alderpaw, and maybe some others, to bring Bloodclan to the territories, and gave his life to let them escape from a pack of dogs.

As he died, he wasn't angry at dying to a dog. He was an elder by that point, he knew Gorse and their kits would be distraught, but he knew Brightheart wasn't expecting him to come back alive. He had done everything he wanted.

He had even taken the dogs down with him, only succumbing to his injuries as he tried to walk and catch up with his clanmates.

In the end, Alderpaw and the others found his body, under a tree, surrounded by the bodies of dogs, on their way back to the clan, and carried him all the way back, alongside Sandstorm's body, and buried him on home territory, with a speech done by his siblings, kits, and mate.

Brightheart was the last to give a speech.

#warrior cats #wc #wc rewrite #warrior cats rewrite #warrior cat rewrite #swiftpaw #swiftheart #ramble #tw cat death #tw animal death #tw animal injury #tw animal harm

[roseworth]

Tried to follow only to discover I already am. Good job, past me. Thoughts on the changes made to Rose’s character with each reboot?

YES i have so many thoughts

first of all. the new 52 was the worst thing to ever happen to rose and im not exaggerating even a little. she started out as a superboy side character (???) as an assassin that was hired to kill him if he didnt do what they wanted ? then she became a ravager and hunted people down

but the WORST part of the new52 is that they either didnt know or didnt care about lillian worth and they just. made rose one of slade and adeline's kids. and had him raise her.

also she was the oldest child of her and joey, which is nowhere near the same level of awful as the whitewashing but still makes me uncomfortable

yeah so. new 52 was fucking terrible. that is not rose even a little i do not know this woman

but REBIRTH fixed so much <3 christopher priest my bff <3 i am once again recommending deathstroke 2016 bc it has so many good moments and i think its worth reading

the first time rose showed up lillian worth was mentioned!!!!! she was there!!!!! <33333 the timeline was changed a little but i can forgive that bc!!! LILI!!!!!

the problem is that the book made her hmong instead of cambodian and i dont really know why??? but also ive said it before but,,, as much as it makes me upset bc asian identities shouldnt just be interchangeable,,,, this was the first time it was even mentioned that she was half asian since the 90s!!!! and she had a whole arc about her hmong heritage and her family!!!!!!

AND she didnt kill anyone in that book iirc :') the closest she got to killing someone was when she was in the middle of a breakdown then shado killing him for her instead which!!!! i love so so much bc rose does not kill a lot despite what some writers want you to believe. pre52 she has like maybe 3 murders that i would consider in character so the fact that she doesnt kill anyone in ds2016 is so fucking real

anyways ill also count infinite frontier as a reboot bc i love to talk about my opinions

there werent a lot of clear changes in infinite frontier BUT. technically her cutting her eye out is canon rn. in deathstroke inc theres a flashback of her stabbing her eye, and also in dark knights death metal (?) shes drawn with an eyepatch

then she was in robin 2021 which was . eh. it wasnt BAD for her but it was just kinda her continuing to kill ppl ig :( but she was drawn so nice in that book so ill forgive it

side note i still hate the idea of respawn so that bothered me in this book. also what they did to connor hawke is unforgivable so its a net loss but whatever

anyways i think thats all my thoughts. in conclusion: new52 bad. rebirth mostly good. infinite frontier eh. and my own personal interpretation is perfect always.

#thats not even mentioning the fact that she gave up the name ravager in ds2016 #which i LOVE but everyone just. forgot about it. #not fair #also im choosing to ignore the fact that that hmong family was paid by slade #bc i have a lot of thoughts about what that means for her but i dont want to derail all of this #but also also. ds16 is so fucking funny. remember when rose got married just to spite slade #rose wilson #dc

[camerawhoisalsocam]

I just finished the crossover. Spoilers. This is a half baked rant filled review from both a RWBY critic and a life long DC fan.

This animation was wonky even for rwby, there wasnt any fights choreography that stuck out to me and I just finished watching this like an hour ago. Like it was so boring my mind was just not intaking anything that could stand out. Even V5 and V9 had some good fights, and both of those volumes got huge budgets cuts because of some other project being released at the time (genlock and this crossover)

The dialogue was just such a mess. And the voice acting oy vey this was rough. Rwby usually has great VA work from the main's at RT, the funimation crew, and a boat load of others. This just felt so off, like the cast was just asleep. Did the voice director just give up like a minute in?

This story was such a mess too! I know combining 2 seperate universes is always tough I wont lie, but converting DC characters with too many varying powers, Supermans multiple powers, wonder womans godly gear, Batmans Bat-everything, Flash' speed force, Cyborgs various tech, Jess' rings many capabilities, and Vixen's animal powered necklace, its all too much to convert to 4 set abilities. Semblance, Dust, Faunus additions, and Rwbys "its also a gun" weaponry isn't enough to fit what I listed off above. Just send the rwby characters to the DC universe.

And side note, just use the teen titans. No power scaling argument needed, their strong but not stronger than the league and are still stronger than the RWBY verse. Imagine Ren and any Robin understanding one another about being orphans, or any Robin and Weiss getting some development about their rich dads. Blake and Damian can get along over their troubled past, or even Starfire and Blake since their the minorities (Tamaranian and faunus) of their teams, or Raven and Blake being goth baddies! Superboy and Yang, anger issues, Yang and Cyborg, learning to live with disabilities. Imagine the chaos of Nora and Wally west and Beastboy. Hell you could even substitute the Jessica plot with Raven struggling with her powers. Theres so much more potential here!

And jesus they did not handle the rwby characters any better. They were all so full of themselves and acting high and mighty comared to the experienced hero's. I'd argue that its cuz the league isnt all there and cant remember everything. But RWBYJNR dont remember anything either! Their all in the same boat so why are rwby treating like the league hasnt fought worse threats, as mentioned Brainiac(an alien with 12th level intellect) and Vandall Savage (an immortal from the caveman times) and while im at it why is a guy thats running a breaking and very obvious simulation a such a big deal anyway?

Shipping, oh damn right im going here. I dont wanna see it, No Superman x Ruby, no Batman x Weiss, no Wonder Woman x Blake x Yang, no Jessica x Jaune, no Cyborg x Nora x Ren. NO! NONONONO we arent doing this. Did we not learn how problematic Starco was? Did RT not learn from Ryan Haywood that grown adults and teenagers shouldn't go together? Seriously im starting to think RT has a problem, I know thats an understatement but at this point im calling it a prediction.

Alright time to speed run these individual character issues

•Batman's arc on staying on Remnant was dumb. Gotham is his soul purpose, and he doesn't need powers. He has never needed them, he's always been able to overcome and keep up with these gods with his wit, skill, and tech.

•Yeah Weiss was just Batman's sidekick. She felt so disconnected from the plot I thought I was looking at V4-5 Blake. Plus why was she so persistent on keeping Batman in Remnant? Was her daddy kink that bad, is she just into older men who are trapped as teenagers? Gross.

•Superman and Ruby's arcs were weak. Ruby leader arc was just so lame, like her significant leader moment was just "sneak jessica and jaune away for a sneak attack" jesus that was lame. And Superman didn't have an arc really, his semblance unlocking, leadership, and blame for getting trapped was all super undercooked.

•The Wonderwoman, Yang, and Blake dynamic was so forgettable. Like I genuinely couldn't remember that arc, was it like a warrior thing right? And were they like... flirting? Really? NEXT!

•Oh god go back to the other one! Not the Ren x Nora x Cyborg love corner, couldnt they have done something else with these guys? This is just sad. Shame on you RT

•Oh yay, Jaune mourns over Pyrrha again. This is after V6 right, so did we have to focus on Pyrrha being desd again? Like come on let her rest, even DBZ doesn't bring up Krillin death as much. I do admit, Jaune helping Jess out was nice, their interactions were sweet.

•I did like Jess' anxiety arc, I think it was handled very tastefully and was a great way to write her character. She's too fucking adorable, her VA was one of the good one's. This actually gave her some great spotlight that we dont see much of besides DC superhero girls

•And I actually liked Vixen, design was fine and the voice was good, even if her power was heavily underutilized. But she was cool

•Barry what did they do to you? Oh Barry no! Why did they flash and make him so... nothing!? He looks like Bart and Wally mixed together. And he's the twist villian? Why didn't the technology based supervillian yake over the technology based hero!? Barry was so boring, I knew he was gonna be a side character but bro why make him the boring twist villian?

•Killg%re. Oh fuck if im not using the percentage thing im not censoring it this crossover makes me too angry to follow the rules. So boring. He calls himself so brilliant and smarter than Brainiac and Vandall savage yet his simulation was so easy to pick apart cuz the grimm, their freinds and family, their timezones, and even their own memories are so muddled anybody can pick apart this is a dream! His plan was so bad, stick the league in another dimension? Good so far. In a simulation, okay it can work. Turn them into teens so their hormones kick in? No, moronic, i hate it, I hate this! And look, out of every villian, why Killgore? The idea of a crossover is to grab your big guns and use their names to gather up your audience. If you wanted a lesser known villian who can alter reality go with BatMite, Mister Mxyzptlk, reverse flash, the Legion of Doom, or jesus anybody? Not somebody so forgettable that even KGBeast is more recognized than him.

Well atleast it's over... wait, part one?

NnnnoooOOOOOO-

#rwde #dc #rwby #rwby x justice league #i hated this

[qumiiiquinnquin]

i only noticed last week that i start shaking at the thought of having to talk to others

i always knew my social anxiety was bad. but i only started to notice in recent years ((especially after shutdowns in 2020)) that i almost cant talk to people - literally anyone - at all

it wasnt so bad when i was little. i could kind of socialize with kids my age. id mostly be the one to engage first because i wanted to make friends. sometimes i did it with no problems. other times i was pretty anxious when doing so. i worried a lot how others would think of me and what they would say to me or others. but i was mostly by myself and preferred it that way, even if i did get lonely at times. and if other kids engaged with me, i became very anxious and quiet, and would say very little. there was a kid at a park i went to several years ago in colorado and he came up to talk to me while i was on the swing. i felt bad because i wanted to talk, but i was pretty anxious most of the conversation. i only started to open up more near the end before he had to go

i actually had a much easier time talking to teachers throughout preschool (and daycare) up to some point in high school than talking to any of my peers

i know i always had trouble ordering food at places. i always became too nervous and was almost never loud enough for them to hear me. i shut down easily when i have to repeat myself (something im trying to work on) so relatives had to order for me. my stepdad was really understanding throughout my childhood and would always help me order when we would go to subway. family here is much less inclined to help and doesn't like it at all when i lock up when i have to order. it annoys them, and ive been told repeatedly to speak up and to get over my fear

the last place we went to, i almost immediately whipped out my phone to type out my order after i was initially responded with "what?" because she couldn't hear me, but my family was there and i know they would've gotten upset. pissed, probably. likely wouldve had my phone snatched from me. i always try to speak up so they can hear me and i have to just say what i want without thinking about it to avoid clamming up. but i still am shaking and my face turns red because of embarrassment

especially since shutdowns though, talking to people feels impossible. i dont talk to anyone except friends, but even then we run out of things to say and we sit there in silence. school makes you socialize with others a lot, but id almost never speak unless it was a requirement and the teacher would know when someone wasn't speaking, or if i felt too pressured to speak. most times i would either observe or dissociate. ive only gone out twice to shop for myself since shutdowns; one of the times i stuttered extremely bad and came very close to crying out of embarrassment right there at checkout, the other i could barely bring myself to talk and managed to only get half of a "thank you" out (it sounded like an annoyed mumble when i wasnt annoyed at all. i still feel bad about that)

ive turned around from any place that i start to go to, like food places, because im too anxious to go in and especially terrified out of my mind to make an order. im glad my sibling has become more understanding, they've been asking what i want and then ordering it for me while i pay (i feel bad to be very honest). its with my sibling that i have more confidence, but im still too scared to say anything

and this anxiety is carrying over to how i interact with people on social media! i used to not be so afraid to talk to people. but in the past bit over a year replying to any responses i get has become daunting. ive had to stop talking to friends for several days because im busy or mental health shit, but coming back and sending them anything back immediately feels scary, even if i know them well and they know me well. and i end up making the last time we talked extend to several more days. sometimes weeks... sometimes...months. im not trying to ghost people. and i do not like that sending a message back to anyone makes me shake uncontrollably and sweat like i just ran a 10k at full speed without stopping (idfk)

its bothering me lots especially now in college. social interaction is required for certain assignments and participation. but all i can do is sit there, shaking, heart pounding, unable to talk to anybody. we are all adults there, so we are expected to act as such. my extreme social anxiety doesn't fly there and ill likely be told one day that im acting like a child or i need to get used to talking to people or something to that effect

idk how to end this off

#vent #im actually shaking while typing out this whole thing #to be honest i may just go with my plan of starting to write down my orders before i go places and show them when they take our orders #my social anxiety is one of the many reasons why i do not think im cut out for college and why i dont plan on getting a job soon #i wish i could just 'get over' my social anxiety. i wish i could talk to others especially when i need to #idk how. and its not as easy as just telling me to 'get over it.' that actually does nothing but kind of hurt... #long post

[bmpmp3]

I FINALLY watched that barbie movie that came out, i watched it last night! it was cute and pretty solid i thought. and then immediately after finishing that i watched the 1989 found footage tv movie ufo abduction/the mcpherson tape?

barbie was mostly very funny (that smallpox joke is inexcusable tho) it seems aimed for maybe a tween-teen kind of audience? i havent heard of many big huge movies aimed at that demographic recently so thats really nice

you know i was worried id be insufferable to both barbie movie fans and barbie movie haters because i have 1) a doll hobby 2) too much interest in doll history and 3) a complete lack of trust and respect for mattel as a company in the past decade and i figured you wouldnt be able to talk to me about it without me um-actually-ing every two seconds BUT it wasnt as egregious as i expected in regards to doll history myths

im especially glad they didnt call stuff like happy family midge and earring magic ken like "recalled" or "banned" or whatever 'cause thats just one of those myths LOL BUT discontinued is a weird term... yeah they were discontinued but like. all dolls are some day. from what i can tell both those dolls werent even like prematurely (heh) discontinued or anything most reports seem that happy family midge sold okay (although there seems to have been controversies at least with the wedding ring and cardboard cutout husband situations) and earring magic ken probably didnt sell well. because hes ken. the earring magic barbies in the line probably sold better LOL i guess a better term could have been like. controversial barbies? infamous barbies? sugar's daddy ken is true and hilarious tho, although if i remember correctly it was like a collectors doll meant for adults that just never got released in the first place

I DID love tanner's inclusion. i love that stupid shitting dog so much i wanted it so bad as a kid but i didnt care about the barbie so it would have been a waste of a playset

speaking of not caring about the barbie so like. i didnt really like barbies as a kid. i didnt really like dolls. i was a furry i only liked animal shaped toys LOL i did have one barbie i picked out myself, fairytopia kindlee who i loved and adored and lost and i dream about her forever. but yeah nothing less interesting to me both as a child and as an adult than a default face sculpt blue eyed blonde barbie toy, which is, as most adults interesting in the modern day toy industry can attest, the reason for our disdain for mattel HFJDKHFDJS actually its more than that - weirdly inflated prices for cheaply made clothes and low quality printing, strangely dated fashion, the weird all or nothing either bare minimum 5 points of articulation or full out double jointed mtm bodies (where is single jointed elbows...i miss her....), THE DECADE LONG REIGN OF TERROR OF THE GLUE HEAD (although we're finally past that), why are those collectors dolls so expensive they look the same quality, why did they make that collectors mermaid ken white from the brown guy in the concept art, in canada the pricing and availability is wacky so i imagine its even worse everywhere else outside the US, this is a personal thing but why does every mattel doll ive ever owned like combust at its joints randomly. am i cursed? do i have a mattel curse? ive been thinking about this for years why does the plastic just disintigrate the second it enters my home what god did i anger. what plastic god did i anger. help me my bloodline has been cursed by some sort of polyvinyl based deity beyond my comprehension

anyway as i was saying it was a little sobering watching a movie with a good fashion and prop and set budget do a take on the memories of what barbie dolls used to be and then thinking about that absolutely dire state we're in rn. bro i kept looking at outfits like modern mattel would never. theyre too busy making half printed t shirt dresses with a random ruffle attached on the side <3 but vintage mattel would also not be as diverse. although neither mattel has an actually fat doll so. um. thats the saddest um-actually im gonna do :(

ive been joking to myself for years that barbie is the name of the species, ken might be some kind of subspecies, so it is funny to see the brand in both real life stores and also this movie lean into that. barbie really is a species. they do move in herds. wait im getting distracted anyway years ago barbie had a big refresh where they leaned into the idea that anyone can be barbie - everyone is barbie: they brought out new body types (standard, tall, short, and slightly curvy) which was a big step, a bigger range of skintones and all kinds of new face molds and screenings, also theres like bald barbies and barbies with prosthetics and wheelchair barbies are made way more often. and all this is fantastic. but unfortunately the blonde blue eyed millie sculpts still haunt most non-fashionista releases.... stereotypical barbie u dont know what u are.... its a shame they didnt reference the millie sculpt in the movie i woulda died LOL

but i always thought it was pretty wack that they made all these cool dolls and then relegated them to wear t shirt dresses for eternity. i like that the budget line is so diverse and i dont even mind the lack of articulation that much (although i do miss basic 9 point articulation where are my elbows and knees) but GOD those outfits. can be ROUGH. and WHY do they never put like half of the diverse dolls in other playsets WHY cant basketball barbie be bald WHEN will i get that prosthetic leg barbie as a fairy like youve put all this effort into all this diversity and then ur doing NOTHING with it mattel im begging u. im begging u. make a fantasy wheelchair barbie i know you can do it. i know you can do it

im not even talking about the movie anymore sorry im just complaining about barbie dolls even tho im not a huge barbie collector JFKDHJRKF i was just picky about toys as a child and i want kids nowadays to get cool dolls too. i think a kid deserves a nice thing to play with that looks like them or like their family or other people around them that also allows to imaginative play you know

okay. okay in the context of the movie its fine and makes sense but lemme tell u. being so deep in the current state of mattel hearing america ferrera's character suggest "ordinary barbie" made me fucking jump out of my seat and point at my laptop screen i almost said outloud "YOUUU" jgekfjfd it was her.... she did this.... jk jk its a sweet message in the movie but just so u know in mattel's mind "ordinary barbie" translates to overpriced cheaply made sack dress barbie. orz

wait back on topic back on topic its a nice movie, im glad it resonates with a lot of people. the plot was a little strange but i dont mind, the sets and outfits and everything was so good anyway, i loved that big huge chunky necklace as a touch, its some fashion brand symbol i dont remember sowwy but i like how huge it is LOL also the music was pretty great, i liked the needle drops and the music composed for the movie was fun too, what was i made for is fantastic but i knew that already its been a hit for a while now and i heard a vocal synth cover of it that sounded nice so i was already on board HJKDHJKFDS sometimes the. racial aspect of the movie was. jarring? they really only mention race like thrice (one of those times being the aforementioned awful smallpox joke) which. you know sometimes i get a little annoyed with a lot of contemporary movies and shows bringing up race just for little quips and jokes here and there while completely ignoring anything substantial about the topic, i know this is a tween movie with a two hour run time and they wanted to focus but i dunno man. it always feels like they're making a joke about elephants while the ignoring the elephant in the room staring u down. but whatever. i'll just lock someone into an unskippable cutscene conversation about history in regards to race and dolls irl later LOL cute movie tho. i like when movies have cool sets and outfits

NOW to the second half of that very odd double feature i gave myself last night UFO ABDUCTION its basically considered the first found footage horror movie, as a tv movie from 1989, and lemme tell u IT IS hard to watch LOL not because its like scary but like. because its a little bit bad <3 but its okay i dont mind, the main character behind the camera got pretty insufferable near the end (would not shut up and made it hard to hear the other actors orz) but it was only an hour and had like no budget - plus i love seeing where so much of the genre came from. im glad to know people screaming at the main character to shut that damn camera off has been here since the very beginning. i also loved the stupid alien costumes its such a shame theyre only in there for like 3 scenes they were the best part: genuinely kind of creepy at the first sight at the ufo landing because theyre so far away and low quality, and also really silly and goofy when they walk right up to the camera <3 <3 <3

i truly madly deeply genuinely without a shred of irony adore found footage so im always happy to see more! even when its bad :) i like it when cameras shake and people scream OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT

#and this has been. bmpmp3 watched some movies and is talking about it. thank u and goodnight

[locusbewitched]

(2/2) to not look him in the eye. i think he was some sort of doctor or dentist or something, i could tell from the way he carried himself but i have no idea how to explain that either.. he just wasnt right.. definitely no one i would ever want to be alone anywhere with.. and i have absolutely no explanation for the scenerio i saw either. thats the most recent one i can remember, and i would have found it more interesting and poked my head around a bit more if i hadnt immediately felt the heavy urge to get away and acted. but one that was particularly most unpleasant and rancid in its strangeity was the flavor of a man that had passed me while in a liquor store with my father. he tasted like, and i will try my best to describe this as much as i can.. the skin on chicken, but not the seasoned kind that youd buy from any store as a rotisserie.. it was just…incredibly wet.. and had the texture of slippery skin after being cooked and then doused in water.. but held none of the flavoring youd usually have at that top layer of the chicken.. it was completely bare and drenched in water. the flavoring and texture came to me in great detail, as tho i have had the meal a hundred times, but i have never had it in my life.. so its incredibly difficult to describe without the words or phrasing i would need to be familiar with.. as i do not know the flavour personally so i am stuck with an ill vocabulary. though i got the visual of a chicken leg of some sort, slippery and half cooked slowly falling into a bucket of water on the ground by a clothing line. the sky the same stormy gray as the vision previous. and i have no idea how to really describe this, but it was almost traumatic to watch.. i have no idea why, but something about the way it was sinking.. the way the meat was so slippery i could feel it even when the chicken was in the bucket and i could taste its empty flavor. something in the pit of my stomach felt the tug downward like that of depression. the feeling was icy in my blood and i felt lightheaded.. like i was going to throw up. that man had definitely done something that had added an awful karma to his general aura.. something truly awful. i have no other idea how to describe it, but god do i never want to experience it again. just writing about it now is making me feel so sick..

the way i view it, everything that ever happens to us, every mood, every situation, even from our past lives, it all adds to the general energy of the aura or quantum/energetic feild we project outwardly.. either heightening or lowering it in a way, sort of the same method for how karma works.. as receiving good karma and good energy from doing virtuous things or having uplifting experiences adds a more positive energy and flavor to your auric feild and vice versa with bad. this could be things like how we react to people, actions, thought processes weve trained ourselves to hold onto, just living and experiencing life really.. it all molds together and comes in these flavors that if you are intuitive enough ((for me at least)) to pull apart from the base you can find out what they infer. it is still really difficult to describe harder ones like those presented to me in long descriptive visions or with very heavy emotion and unclear descriptions and ties like the chicken in the water bucket.. as it can be traumatic to look back on, which makes it harder to decipher.. but the much easier auras like something short and sweet id taste in my mouth or smell in the air upon seeing someone or something can easily be recognized for the emotion attached to it by myself.. and then easily described back to others.. but otherwise it is difficult to fully put into words the way i perceive it to be.. though regardless, if you do especially bad things, it can be tasted in the general energy you project outwardly.. any action you make, any creation.. if there is intent, there is an energy pushed outward and that energy stays with you.. and usually resides in whatever i perceive from it. that does not mean your aura will not change, it will as all energy does.. but most people have smaller, much lesser auras or the same ones for awhile. and it can be difficult to concentrate on one so specifically for this reasoning.. so i dont read into it as much.. it is all subjective really to that person anyway. thank you though for your question:)) sorry this response is so long, i did not intend for it to stretch on like that.. and sorry if that isnt what you were asking. i may have misinterpreted, i apologize if so. (2/2)

#sorry this is so much to read #if you dont want to read it put it in text to speech thats what i do #thank you for your question i hope you are well #vision accompanying an aura

[davidtennantpussytulpa]

okay west side story complaints will follow if u love me you should red and agree and kiss me abt it if u dont then scroll past i guess 🙄

okay this will prob be a little disjointed but whatever. first point: the direction style…… aka kill yourself spielberg. if you hate musicals its the easiest thing in the world to not direct one but here he is. officer krupke is one of my favorite parts and they were doing so well moving between verses using the set for each character but he just HAD to cut to the woman looking at all of them like they were acting weird like UGHHHHH. the whole point of a musical is that the audience suspends their disbelief that people dont just randomly sing and dance for a few hours so they can see a story told dynamically in that way. but people are so fucking embarrassed by musicals that he put in a character to YANK us out of that suspension and be like hey!!! isnt this dumb!!! musicals are sooo silly and dumb and so are the people who like them, im making sure you guys know that even though im directing one im still one of you normal people who thinks this is all weird. the absolute fucking disrespect towards your whole audience for that…. this is extended to the one hand one heart scene as well. the original in the dress shop captures their youth and excitement so well, dancing around with the wedding dress and tux and imagining the window of the shop as stained glass. but again its just taking any of the interesting things you can do with the musical format and not giving your audience enough credit to have any whimsy or suspension of disbelief in a set that isnt the LITERAL location

next largest complaint: ANSEL ELGORT??!!??!3??3!2&@1!;?; AGAIN this feels like the producers not having enough faith that musicals can bring in an audience (despite adapting one of the most beloved musicals of all time, even nearly 60 years later) and trying to expand their audience with a face everyone knows. at least this wasnt another beauty and the beast and he could actually sing reasonably well, but his acting and dancing were HORRIBLE. the fact that he was the only mainstream famous person combined with some weird costuming choices made him feel out of place and even anachronistic at times. maria looked young (and her actress was abt the age she is meant to be) while hes pushing 30 and he really looks it. and his energy doesnt help either. instead of tony being a naively optimistic man in giddy love, he just seems like he decided to be like okay whatever i like this girl i guess. definitely not that he would DIE FOR HER. also combined with bad direction the original has them being pulled together across the dance floor almost magically, and everyone around them falls away, and it makes their romance instantly powerful and believable. in this why did they just go behind some bleachers it was SUCH a weird choice and it just never felt like they had any real chemistry with this styrofoam block of a man

okay and now for the story itself…. WHY did they feel the need to shift SO MANY THINGS AROUND. i liked the change of doc to valentina i thought that gave a good new element to the story, but they shifted all the songs in the middle around and changed the whole meaning of some of them. im on the fence over cool being changed to the fight over the gun i think its kind of interesting and i probably would have had an overall positive opinion if it werent for elgorts stiff ass dancing, but for now i think it offset the pacing with the rumble in the rest of the story. what was most offputting was removing the dress store entirely. now anita and maria only interacted at home, and there was no buildup of conflict between them with tony meeting maria there, and i feel pretty was performed without a dress of her own and to a bunch of characters we hadnt seen before and never saw again. why did they do that???? they sectioned off all the characters in scenes so oddly to the point where important people were missing from half the scenes and nobody should have known what was going on ever. tony was literally so disconnected from everyone else and in conjunction with elgort being literally the ONLY non-theatre person there it felt like tony wasnt even a main character

the police were also weird as fuck. like theyre gang members. they hate the cops. and in this one the added element if gentrification makes the cops worse. but THEN they tried to make krupke like… super well-meaning? like hes talking to the boys in a semi-supportive way and not threatening any violence and even COMFORTING ANITA AFTER BERNARDO DIES??? (also the morgue scene. why. that was stupid) like sorry disney u literally cant be like omggggg cops bad we get it guys 🥰 while STILL being like but also….. cops good 🙈

okay finally the ending. what the fuck. circling back to weird ass directorial decisions. tony dies, maria is crying and waving the gun then back to crying holding him and they could have ended there but they added them carrying his body away but there were too many fucking people so anybodys is just wandering ahead of them and maria walking behind them like 😐. THEN THEY DONT EVEN CUT THERE….. they have chino and valentina walking together THEN picking up the gun slow as hell THEN walking some more THEN the cops show up THEN they start to hand the gun over and FINALLY a fade to black with them obscured in the distance with the fire escape in close focus like WHY. in the WORLD. is that your powerful final shot. the whole thing just felt so rushed in the first place, and then being jumbled up and elgort just not even making me care a little about the romance, and then the ending being just awkward altogether what a fucking weird ass production from all angles

okay but the actors themselves other than ansel elgort all did amazing i wish i just could have directed them i literally could have done a better job. xoxo gossip girl if u read this all youve earned a sloppy makeout session with me 😘

#okay um. tell me if im crazy did anyone else feel like this. or am i just too much of a hater #(just kidding im not im always right but. is anyone else also right with me)

[italianpitbullartworks]

Mini ref sheet/intro/bio. The puma OC is basically my online avatar character. I will eventually meet fitness goals to match his build and have matching tattoos, but my chronic problems over the past few years makes it hard to stay in shape and prevents me from getting the ink done.

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Intersex is another genetic condition that causes its share of problems for me. Socially its a constant fight to remind people that its NOT the same as trans and has nothing to do with anything under the trans umbrella. Biologically there are variations in how people are built. There are many different versions of intersex. Mine happens to be androgen insensitivity. The only real "trans experience" I have had was originally raised gender neutral/allowed to be myself until puberty. From age 10 onward, I was forced into this fake narrative of I was "really a girl" and because I didnt ever have any type of puberty when other kids did, my mother had me put on female hormones and insisted that I stop "acting/dressing" like a boy. At 14 I had my short hair still but from 15 into my 20s, I was required to have long hair, never buy mens clothes again, wear padded bras to compensate for my lack of "proper" chest and the list just goes on and on to even include being forced to stay in a toxic relationship that I wanted to end a year into it. At 28 I finally had my full freedom again. At 32, I thought I was having female reproductive issues again and the hospital I went to announced the findings after a bunch of scans and tests.

Now the only thing trans I have is using some of the same resources available to them to help maintain and fix myself. I have deep seeded resent, though and I wont ever get over that. My family has chosen to continue to ignore any medical evidence and tries to get me to "come back to reason". I found it easier just to not talk to any of them at this point.

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After the last ex, I took time to sit and think about relationships. Its not that I cant ever be in love, but my version is different from the norm. 1. I dont mind being in a relationship but I still want my own personal space/freedom. My partner should not be an end-all to trips and visits with friends or me giving up hobbies or anything for them. Every tine I do, I feel bad. 2. I actually DONT want to get married. Been there done that. I do not see any point to it. You can be just as cutesy cuddly all without legally giving up half of anything you own. 3. I dont love my partner any "more" than I love my besties. I do not understand this concept. If you reach best friend status, thats as high as it goes. The only difference making someone my partner is I'm just comfortable doing things with them whereas with my besties I dont have that attraction. I havent been very good at relationships because Im never the person who asks to date etc in the first place, but I am the person who always calls it off. I have always ended my relationships literally because I wasnt being treated the way I need to be. Nobody has ever chosen me first or asked to be with me because of a romantic attraction. I'm either the piggy bank or the toy and once I catch on, I dump the guy. I do not need "fixing". I do not need bad memories "replaced" or "erased". I do not need a dictator partner of any kind any more than I needed dictator parents. I dont allow them to be controlling any more and now more than ever, I wont take that from a partner either. I never need someone to do everything for me.

4. Poly does not mean open to all/anything/everything- it holds the same rules as a couple. I can comfortably love two guys. Thats my limit and I will not flex/change it just because someone whines at me wanting something different.

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Disabilities: I put it in quotes because under the legal definition of a disability, they are, but Im still functional most days. I brought it up because I used to hide that I ever had physical limits. My condition overall gets more challenging as I age.

Sometimes my adhd gets in my way too.

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Languages:

My Italian and Spanish are very lazy because I dont use them often in 🇺🇲. Even when I do use Spanish with latino coworkers, they just talk to me in english so there isnt any real practice or fluency retention going on. I know and understand some French- still learning.

English wasnt my first, but is my primary at this time. I dont claim to be perfect or good at it. I'm good enough to be understood, but I'll spell a ton of things wrong and my grammar drives a lot of 🇺🇲s nuts lol. Its honestly funny when I get complained at in person because I wont use dictionary perfect anything or when I give letters the latin sound by default. I largely lack a 🇺🇲 accent because of that. Oh and I mixmatch my Spanish and Italian sometimes because the Italian word will come up out of memory first and then I tell myself "no no, I need the Spanish word" so I throw it in google translate and look like a complete moron.

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Funniest thing? I have never been shy about being a gay boy and have made it pretty clear since about age 8-9 but because Im not femme, people mistake me for straight. I will get a lot of straight people asking me "are you sure?". Yes Im sure. I have had lots of straight guys tell me I am "missing out" and thats gross. To combat that, I say the same things back.

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This pretty much tells you what you need to know!

#furry oc

[kurokis-kaifuku]

Recovery Day 1: 11/7/2022

tw: eating disorders.

Today is my first day of bulimia recovery. I finally decided to put a stop to my behaviour. I resolved to change last night, at 3.38 am, since the past week, I've noticed how weak and sensitive my teeth have gotten. I kid you not, I feel like-- no, I know that some of them are shaking. My front two teeth have gotten so thin, and I can kind of see that the enamel at the bottom front has chipped away.

I dont want them to fall, and Im scared that if I continue my destructive behaviour, my front teeth might fall, and I'll have a toothless smile. Im scared, really scared this time, since I've never been to a dentist before. I dont want to not be able to have a toothless smile. I want to have my smile, and I want to be beautiful. And I know no matter what, I'll love myself, whatever happens.

One day of eating will NOT make me fat, and I wont suddenly gain 50kilos because of it. I want to live honestly as myself, I want to show my real face to the world and people supporting me, instead of Mia taking credit for all my accomplishments, all my good points, and for making me feel like I dont deserve any happiness, like I haven't done anything to deserve what I have gotten, and like I haven't really achieved anything when I actually, really have.

I want to own up to the people around me. I want to make myself into someone worthy of my parents love and trust, and into someone worthy of the positive beliefs people hold of me. I want to become the person they think I am; strong, beautiful, independent, hardworking, determined and someone who can achieve anything and soar to great heights. A good friend, and amazing supporter, and someoen who can be loved.

And for that, I need to end my relationship with Mia.

My Bulimia ends here, today, right here, right now. And I will do everything in my power to make sure she doesn't come back.

What I did today:

Since today's my first day of recovery, thats the only thing that's been on my mind all day, whatever I do. It reminds me of the day after I thought Shrimp broke up with me on text haha :) (he was the only thing i could think about no matter what I did)

But, I had the best, most amazing breakfast ever. It's what I normally eat, but today I was conscious about what I ate. I ate a slice of pandan bread, then two toasts with butter, and some sugar cookies dipped into some masala chai. And I kid you not, it tasted so good. I felt like the buttered bread I had this morning was the best buttered bread in my entire lifetime.

I think it may be because I was eating so much and bingeing so much that i stopped being aware of the flavours of food and stopped appreciating and seeing the joy in eating. I just saw it as an activity, and never appreciated it for what it was. Something that tastes good, that nourishes me. Everything should be done in moderation, and when something's easily accessible or can be done anytime, that "special" factor goes away from it and it stops looking special or novel or exciting. Like 食べ過ぎたら 食べ物の美味しさが消えちゃう. Or at least, thats what I believe.

So when I had it in moderation, it tasted so so good.

Im so proud, because thats the first meal I didnt purge or attempt to remove from my body in more than 4 years. Im so happy and proud of my journey.

Just like that, my dad made chhole curry, which I ate with an instant paratha. My brother had left half his paratha, so I finished that up, and ate a serving of rice along with the chhole. When I was getting full, and I felt like my stomach was uncomfortably bulging out, I stopped eating. If Mia was controlling me, I´d have kept eating since I knew i could puke it out later anyway. But i stopped, when I felt full. it wasnt like I ate too much either, I didnt. I ate a normal amount, what a normal person would eat. And i sat at the table and chatted with my family. When i was feeling hungry, I also ate a slice of dragonfruit.

Since then, my stomach has been bulging out a lot. I feel fat, and I felt really bad. I felt uncomfortable because I was bloated, and I was like "hmm, have I eaten too much?" but I reassured myself that I hadn't and I had eaten a normal amount. Which I know, I definetely have. And I'm proud of myself for it.

When I went to the toilet to pee, I had the urge. I had the urge to purge. BUT. I started at myself in the mirror, and I waited. I looked at myself, and talked to myself in the mirror. I said, I need to recover, 筋肉を作れなくちゃ。And I opened the door, and ran out of the bathroom.

I felt so so 物凄くly proud of myself after this. I had conquered something. I had conquered myself, and I really am on the road to recovery. I didnt relapse. So im really satisfied with myself. And proud. I know that I can excercise in the future, but this is what my body needs right now. So I'll recover. And ill enjoy life, and cure myself.

I researched into the bloating, and It looks like it's a normal thing during recovery. My body doesnt trust me with the food i've put into it 😭😭 so Ill need to show it that I am giving it food, and that I am taking care of it. I have no abdominal muscles to accomodate the size of my stomach inside, which is why it's bulging. But they say for sure it will reduce and go away after I start eating normally again, without purging or binging. People online say 3-4 weeks, but others say months. But a few months of bloated stomach gives way to a whole life of happiness, and a whole life having teeth, and being able to be truly happy. So it's worth the risk.

Its so much better than dying, fainting, having a weak heart, choking on my vomit because im purging, breaking my teeth, having breathing problems or my stomach exploding because of a binge. So I'll take all the chances I have, and I promise to recover.

Im a little scared and anxious about tomorrow, and how it will be, but im really proud of how i spent today and how i didnt binge or purge. I did something good today. and this is the hardest thing i've done so far. but I lived through one day. And surely, I can do it again.

I hope I'll be able to do more things and be more productive with typesetting tomorrow. And I want to draw, and do my excercise/ stretches a bit. :)

ah i want to do something like this in the future with my future boyfriend too XD i need to be healthy and happy to do it so i am gonna do my best ☆ ผ(•̀_•́ผ)

thanks for sticking with me!

-kuroki ☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*

#bulimia recovery #growth #recovery #ed recovery #self compassion #healing #self improvement #pro recovery #self care #my liberation diary #daily diary #journal

[technowoah]

Be Okay

Dream won't drink water and it gets out of hand

- Dream x gen! Neutral reader

- Anon requested!

Prompts!

4) "I never fucking wanted this/that!"

5) "Please stop talking for one damn second!"

11) "It's not important apparently"

⚠︎ angst to fluff, swearing, angery dream. This is kinda a blurb instead- not proofread

Masterlist

You thought about knocking on the door softly to alert Clay of your presence but then immediately thought against it. You didnt even want to go in there and interrupt him and his editing process because he told you strictly not to interrupt him because he was focused and he didn't want to lose his focus.

Clay was a hard worker, and everyone knew that. You admired that about him, you admired his dedication to his fans and his work, but you were worried about him right now. He hasn't came out of his room in about an hour and a half. Clay hasn't eaten all day, and hasnt taken care of himself.

You came over his house earlier that day to see him still in his bed. You laid in bed with him, which he accepted your hugs and cuddles, but when you asked what was wrong he never answered or just brushed oft the question.

Now Clay was stuck at his computer and the first time you tried to give him some water he brushed you off saying. "Dont bother me right now, I'm trying to stay focused." At the time that hurt you, and it still does so you didn't enter his room until now.

You stood at his door with some water and some pizza rolls. You were nervous of how he would react, but he needed to take a break. You wanted him to relax and not stare at the bright computer all day. His eyes were probably strained and he wasnt taking care of his body.

You gained the courage to knock on the door infront of you first time softly and then the next a little bit harder. Both times there was no response, so you decided to go inside of his room. The only light in the room was coming from the daylight outside from the open windows. At least he was getting a good breeze. Clay didnt even spare you a glance and continued typing and clicking on the computer.

"Clay." You said cautiously.

"Yeah?" He responded bluntly. You didn't want to already be annoyed by his attitude.

"I made some pizza rolls and got you a bottle of water. You need to eat."

Clay scoffed. "No I don't, Im fine. Im breathing."

"I need you to eat though!" You placed the food and water near his keyboard and crossed your arms.

"I. Dont. Need. To. Let me work." Clay said facing you for a minute and then went back to his work.

"I have been letting you work for the past half and hour! Can you take a break? I know Im being annoying, but you need to take care of yourself."

Clay looked at the food near his computer and took the bowl and held it out for you to take from him, but you didn't take the bowl put of his hand.

"Can you just take this shit away." He said grumbling.

"There's no need to swear, why can't you just take a break and eat? Its not gonna hurt your process."

"The reason I want you to take this is because I'm not starving! Im actually getting interrupted by you forcing me to eat!" Clay started yelling.

"I never fucking wanted this!" He said gesturing to the bowl of now cold pizza rolls in his hand.

"I only want you to fucking eat! That's it! Is that too much to ask?!" You yelled as he shut you out again. He returned editing his video and let out frustrated groans because he messed up a clip and had to redo it.

"It's not that important apparently." You rolled your eyes. It was petty of you, you could've just left it at that and talked about it later.

Clay banged the table with his fists. "Please stop talking for one damn second!" He yelled more violently this time, you could bet the neighbors heard him.

You weren't going to let tears fall. You weren't going to show Clay that you were weak, so you stormed out of his room and slammed the door behind you hoping he heard that loud and clear. You threw yourself onto tbe couch and sobbed into your hands, you then grabbed a throw pillow and cried into that trying to muffle your frustration. Staying like that until you calmed down you traveled to the kitchen to grab a bag of chips and went back to the couch to put on some mindless TV shows to distract you from the chaos that happened before.

Halfway into your tv show you heard someone coming down the hallway, but you didn't bother looking towards them to greet them.

"Hey y/n!" You turned around to the different voice who spoke and saw that it was Nick who spoke to you who was now walking to sit by you. To be honest you forgot that Nick was even in the house when you went to speak to Clay.

"I heard some yelling in the other room and I wanted to know what was going on are you okay?" Nick asked while sitting next to you.

Damn, you felt bad that your quick fight had turned into yelling and Nick overheard.

"Yeah, Im fine. I cried into your throw pillows, but me a Clay had a huge fight about him overworking himself." You said tapping the throw pillow on your lap. "Long story short he's probably still mad and now I feel like shit, I might go home. Also I'm sorry you heard that!" You rushed.

"No, it's okay. I really wanted to know if you were okay. I heard you crying too, but I didn't want to intrude." Nick said while putting a hand on your shoulder. "Do you want me to drive you back?"

"You dont have to Nick! But its appreciated."

"Do you want me to tell Drea- Clay?" He asked awaiting your answer.

You paused before answering Nick. "I'll- I'll go tell him." You said confidently.

"Positive?"

"Positive." You stood up and walked towards Clay's room for the third time today.

"I'll be ready when you're done!" Nick yelled down the hallway.

You were at the same place you were a few minutes ago. This time you didn't hesitate to open the door and face Clay again. Your heartbeat quickened, because of the fact that you didnt know what would come out od Clay's mouth this time. It was nerve-wracking, but you had to face him wether it was today, tomorrow, or the next day.

You didn't bother knocking and just entered the room. He was still in the same chair facing away from you but this time he wasn't looking at his computer, his head was resting in his hands while his his video edits weren't on the screen anymore.

"Clay." You started and he turned around facing you.

"Y/n! Im so sorry." Clay spoke, you were about to speak but he interrupted you. "Please, I'm a dumbass, im sorry I yelled at you. I know you were just trying to help. Forgive me?"

Clay stood up walking towards you, you didn't walk away you just stared at him for a while before speaking.

"Clay I understand and I forgive you. It really pained me to hear that, that's the first time I heard that anger from you except for when you play in Minecraft." You chuckled and he smiled. "Just take care of yourself."

You walked towards him and brung him into a hug which he reciprocated. You two stayed like that for a while until you spoke again.

"I dont want this to happen again. We'll work around it like we always do."

"That sounds like a plan. I dont want it to happen either, I didn't like that." Clay chuckled.

"Im sorry I made you cry." Clay spoke again.

"You heard me cry?!"

"Yeah from the living room."

"Damn I didn't know I cried that loud." You laughed into his chest.

You and Clay finally let go of eachother and he went to go officially turn off his computer for the night and came back to you. He grabbed your hand and you both walked out of his room closing the door and walking to the living room.

"Im taking you're not going home?" Nick said from the couch as you both joined him sitting on it.

"Not now atleast. We made it work." You said as you leaned against Clay's shoulder.

"Good!" Nick said while switching the TV to something else.

Clay wapped his arm around your shoulders and kissed you on the cheek. You finally got him back.

"Those pizza rolls were cold."

Taglist: @annshit

#mcyt blurb #mcyt angst #mcyt fluff #mcyt x reader #mcyt headcanons #technowoah! #dream x reader #dream smp x reader #dream x y/n #dream blurb #dream team #dream x you #dreamwastaken imagine #dreamwastaken x you #dreamwastaken x reader #dream angst #dream fluff #mcyt imagines #mcyt x you #mcyt x y/n #dream team x reader

[herbgerblin]

WIP Ask Game of Shame — Please tell me more about your Royalty AU (Barry teaches Lup and Taako Common)!!

This got longer than I thought (words spoken seconds before disaster) But this is like, two of the meatier bits of the idea:

--

“Lucretia, do I need to beg. Is that what I have to do to get out of this? Beg?”

Lucretia looked only half apologetic. “Barry, there’s no way I can take over for you, and that’s it.”

When Barry agreed to teach the twin crowns of Twosun the distinct flavor of Common spoken in his land, so that the Kingdoms of Faerune and Twosun could come to some diplomatic agreements, he was not prepared for the emotional whirlwind it would put him through. Their arrival two months prior had been a source of celebration for all involved. A sign that peace would come to the strife-riddled lands.

But those two months seemed to entail only more strife for Barry himself. The princess called him a nerd the second she laid eyes on him, and it only got worse from there. She never did so in eyeshot, but he could hear her whisper in her brother's ear every time Barry would walk past them, either in the halls or at council. And she never referred to him directly by his given name. The moniker ‘Barry Bluejeans’ stuck to him so hard that even the Faeruni members of the High Council had adopted it.

The prince was no better, but at least he seemed more lax in his chidding. Taako, as he was known, hung far back in the council room, where he could pay as little attention as he wanted. The princess Lup however, was as involved as the prince was impartial. In royal affairs and in personal affairs. Barry swore that she was seeking him out to torment him, with how often they crossed paths on a given day. The only time he couldn't fumble his way out of running into her was when they had their lessons.

Those were a unique nightmare. From what Barry understood, the twins mostly spoke Elvish. So that was how he addressed them. But they also spoke another language that he wasnt familiar with. And he never missed the moments he said or did something, and the twins would look at each other, then pass a word or two that he didn't know. Barry didn't cosider himself a polyglot, but he had spent a few years studying in Twosun, and knew it wouldn't be too hard to bridge the Common spoken there with Faeruni Common. But being the odd one out in his own lessons felt rather unfair.

Not to mention, every time Lup's eyes fell on him, he felt his heart rate increase soundly. He was anxious on a good day, but downright panicky when it came to her. She was sharp and terrifying and inescapable. He probably had many reasons to dislike her, but that was a big part of the problem—He DID like her. A lot.

--------

Taako shook his head. “I’m gonna stay here and hang with my good pal Barold for a few minutes.”

Both Barry and Lup gave Taako odd looks, but Lup let her's slip off with a shrug of her shoulders.

"Suit yourself," she declared. She glanced at Barry, and he once again felt his face grown warm. Lup gave him a small curtsy, and said, "Until our next lesson."

"R-right," Barry stammered. "Good afternoon."

The door wasn't even shut a second behind her, before Taako sat up in his seat and clapped his hands together. “You’ve got it bad, don’t you, Bluejeans?”

“I’ve got what bad?” Barry asked, exhaling.

“It. For my sister. Lup.”

If Barry had been drinking a beverage in that moment, he’d be choking on it. He wasn’t, but the air he was breathing seemed to suffice. Taako gave him a few supportive claps on the back to break through the disbelieving cough that worked its way in Barry’s throat.

“You can’t be serious,” Barry managed to wheeze out.

“I’m about as serious as you are,” Taako replied. “Which, from my vantage point, seems to be a whole lot.”

“I’m not—”

“My elf eyes can see through bullshit, Barold,” Taako quipped. “I’m more than aware of when some poor schmuck has the hots for my sister.”

Barry wanted to jump out the window. He wanted to dig a deep grave out in the royal couryards and bury himself in it. “Taako, I’m just here to make sure the two of you get a conversational grasp on Common.”

Taako pinched the bridge of his nose. “My dude—be cool about this Barry—we’re both already fluent in Faeruni Common. We’re fluent in a whole mess of languages.”

“You...wha...?”

“Sitting in on those council sessions were boring as hell,” He said, in perfect Faeruni Common. Accentless, even. “Tutoring gave us a break for an hour and half. You didn't think we were going to let that go to waste, did you?"

Barry's chest suddenly felt very hollow. He asked, painfully, “So I....this was just to give you guys a break?”

Taako let some of the nonchalance fall from his face. He said, “Don’t feel bad, Barry. You’re a pretty good teacher. You managed to make these lessons interesting. Which is a hell of a lot more than I can say for the tutors we grew up with.”

“Thanks,” Barry said, not really feeling it. “But should I...how long is this going to go on?”

Taako groaned. “Until either of you boneheads get through each other's thick ass skulls. Why do you think she’s been flirting with you all the damn time?”

Against his will, Barry's face went tomato red. He clenched his jaw and insisted, “She’s not been flirting.”

“What do you call all the stupid questions she's been asking?" Taako asled. "Why do you thinking she's always getting you to sit beside her and check her writing?"

Barry could mentally conceed that Lup was the more inquiring of the two. Despite teasing him ceasely, there were moments when she could be very engaging, even funny. She inisted on copying Barry's speeches with a made up voice of her own. Taako would partake in the sheningans for a few minutes. But he was prone to boredom, and tuck his head in a book to ignore the other two for the rest of the lesson. Thinking on it, Barry realized that he spent a large portion of the time talking to Lup.

Barry muttered, “I’d hardly count that as flirting.”

“Gods, you Faeruni are all so square,” Taako said, which was funny to hear him say in Common. Elvish sounded so much more elegant in comparison. “She is, and I’m tired of watching it all get shot down so baldfacedly. As least give her the decency of being let down gently.”

“I wouldn’t do that,” Barry said quietly.

“I know you wouldn’t,” Taako said. “Why do you think I’ve been putting up with this song and dance for so long without a word of shovel talk? I carry the sacred role of venting the losers and the bruisers. And you won't even fufilll your end of the bargain.”

Barry was tired of the goofs. He waved a dismissive hand and said, “Taako, I get that you’re defensive of your sister, and you have every right to be.”

Taako looked at Barry like he wanted to claw the latter’s eyes out. Barry ignored this. "I'm just here to make sure we reach peace.”

He stood up and started cleaning his desk, if only to give himself something to do with his hands. “You two can continue to hang out here during lesson time. I’ll think of something to tell the council. We’ll have to progress one way or another, but we can mutually make use of the free time.”

Taako let out a slow sigh, before hoisting himself to his own feet. “FINE. I guess. Not for lack of trying and all that biz.” Before twirling to exit the classroom, Taako gave Barry one last dubious look. “You’re really not going to tell the council on us?”

Barry shook his head. “Not as long as you don’t tell them I’ve also been using tutoring to get out of sessions.”

“Fuck yeah.”

#i may add more later if i think of anything else #lord willin and the creek don't rise as my momma would say #ask meme #my writing #askherbgerb #blupjeans #taz balance #the adventure zone #lup #barry blujeans #taako #lucretia

[dulceheist]

Sleepy cuddles with Dami tho where he cuddles you to sleep 😥

Midnight cigarettes | Damiano David

Requested: yess and this is so cute i was excited

summary: midnight romance, that's all i have to say

Pairing: Damiano David x reader (she/her, third person)

if you have wishes for any other pronouns whether it is to switch them in some fic or write a new one using specific pronounces let me know!

word count: i was on my phone when I finished this so I couldn't count them now but i'll later. It's a rather short one but i think it's cute.

content and warnings: fluff

Y/n had not been sleeping well for the past few weeks. Maybe it was stress from work or just bad timing, She couldn't really pinpoint it either. Once again, like last night, she snapped awake in the middle of the night.

She could hear Damiano's slow breathing next to her as he lied sound of sleep. She turned over to look at him. Even asleep, he was an angelic sight. She let out a sign and brushed her hair away from her face as she got up to sit on the edge of the bed.

She grabbed a lighter and cigarette pack from her nightstand and walked to the balcony door leading away from their bedroom. She tried to open the door as quietly as possible and stepped outside to the balcony inhaling the fresh summer night air. A light wind blew her hair as she lighted the cigarette on.

Their balcony wasnt enornous but it was good enough for cigarettes even though the housing association didn't really allow smoking on the balconies but y/n didn't really feel like walking all down outside in the middle of the night. On the corner, there was two old slightly rusty chairs and a tiny table. She sat down in one of them and looked at her view.

She watched the sleeping city as she inhailed the smoke smeared air. Some cars still ran on the street lamp lightened streets and some lights were still on in the tall standing buildings and maybe that was the salt and pepper of nights, there was always something even when you taught everyone was asleep.

From behind her, y/n heard the balcony door creak. She turned her head slightly and saw sleepy looking Damiano enter the balcony.

"Good evening, shall I asked why are you up?" Y/n asked with slightly monotone voice jokingly putting on a usher like character. She didn't want to wake him and she knew he was busy enough with his job to not get sleep.

"Noticed my one and only had run away." He said and reached to the table to grap a cigarette from the pack, "And that she was breaking a law" he continued as he lit the cigarette in between his fingers.

"Shhhh" y/n hushed and waved her finger in front of his nose, "it's just a guideline" she giggled.

Damiano slightly smirked at her before starting to smoke his cigarette as well and sitting down with her. He studied her a while before asking, "why are you awake?"

"Just woke up, kinda slept badly" she answered him, "I don't know why but i haven't slept very well for the past few weeks"

"Well I thought you had been little grumpy reasently." He chuckled at his own joke and gently kicked her feet underneath the table.

"Hilarious one, aren't you?" Y/n laughed with him.

They sat in a silence for a while, enjoying the night around them before they had both finished their cigs.

"Some animals sleep with only their other half of brain asleep and still here we are as humans having trouble falling asleep." Y/n thought

"I was fine before you started to make noises" Damiano yawned

"Hey, i tried to be as quiet as possible." Y/n laughed, "sorry for waking you up." She said.

"No it's fine. The bed got cold anyways" he looked at her warmly, "Now come," Damiano got up and stretch out his arm for y/n, "I want to get back to sleep" he said while yawning.

"You sure? You look very energitized." She joked as she took his hand who was clearly running out of batteries. If she was honest, so was she.

They walked back into the bedroom and through the curtains and slide back underneath the bed sheets. Damiano quickly wrapped his arms around her and pressed her agaignts his chest.

Y/n could feel his stubble gently scratch her thin skin as Damiano buried his head on the back of her neck. She placed her hand on top of his and string their feet together like roots grew together underneath dirt. She felt the heat of his chest and his slow breathing, everything about him made her insides sparkle and skin feel electric.

He placed tiny kisses on the behind of her ear. She could smell his sent and it made her feel safe and ease. She knew she was the luckiest girl that she had found a man like him so early in her life and she never wanted to let go of him.

"Kiss me" she whispered slightly turning her head towards him.

He rose to his elbows to gently press his lips agaignts hers and she relaxed agaings his warm touch. Y/n deepened the kiss slightly which made Damiano smile into the kiss. He slowly pulled back and looked her into her sweetened eyes before placing one last kiss to her forehead.

"I love you" y/n said as she fixed her position underneath the bed sheets.

"I love you too" Damiano whispered while getting back into cuddling her, "now sleep, Pretty thing. It's already midnight".

And she felt his breathing get slower and slower as she drifted away.

#måneskin #damiano david #damiano david one shot #damiano david x reader #damiano david fluff #damiano david fanfiction #damiano david x y/n #x reader #fanfiction #fanfic #x y/n #måneskin fanfic #fluff

[literate-simp]

Bakugou realizing that sometimes, bad things happen to good people

About: his s/o opens up to him about their trauma

Warning(s): mentions of trauma, slight angst, few curse words because Bakugou

Include(s): gn! reader, being comforted and understood by pomeranian, fluff

Note: i never get too detailed with trauma/bad childhood related content because i want my readers to feel free with whatever they're facing. i hope that anyone reading this fic for comfort has a wonderful day. I'm happy you're still pushing despite everything that's happened.

To be fair, he hadn't even thought of it. Never crossed his mind, not even once.

It was 1 AM now; way past his bedtime, way past his much needed rest for an early morning and he hadn't even tried closing his eyes. For once in his life, he was left wondering.

His life was filled with praise and ego, to be his lover would mean being able to put up with him and giving him praise when he actually deserved it. He didn't need half-assed compliments or someone on his hands and feet -- he needed someone to see him grow by himself.

You see, it hadn't crossed his mind that you were in a dark place in the past or present. You were strong in your own way and he saw it as a powerful trait of yours. You wanted to be a hero just like him but not because you wanted to prove your worth, you just wanted to save those who couldn't protect themselves.

"Katsuki! Right hook, then left!" You'd yell during your spar sessions. He takes your advice seriously, knowing you wanted him to improve just as much as he does for you.

"Fuckin' idiot," He mumbled in the darkness. You seemed so fine with it too, laughed about whatever happened as if it wasnt a huge part of who you were now. You talked like it was the weather, mundane and nothing crucial.

Could people smile after that? You did. It was scary to him how used to the life you were. You must've been scared, who wouldn't be?

"Katsuki, I have something to tell you," You said right before his bedtime, around 7 maybe. He was confused why you didn't just walk up and strike a conversation with him like usual.

Must be serious, he had thought and damn was it serious.

On the balcony, under the dark sky with a faraway look in your eyes. You didn't even turn to him once, just went on and on; one story after another. Sometimes you'd laugh like it was funny.

It wasn't funny, he was mortified and worried -- rendered him speechless to a point that his body came to a standstill.

You're a good person, he knew that most. You were someone that shone brighter than his classmates, that was why he chose you to be his partner at first.

"You must be freaked out, huh," You stated, finally turning to meet his worried eyes with a smile. "I don't blame you, it's a lot to take in."

"I trust you a lot and I just wanted you to know what you're getting yourself into when you're with me, so take your time. I'll wait for you."

Is he feeling bad right now? What was he feeling bad for? That you had a horrible life? He hated pitying people but he couldn't help but worry for you.

Also, what did you mean by 'take your time'? Had you thought Bakugou Katsuki, Lord Explosion Murder and soon-to-be Dynamight, was going to run away the second you told him?

If anything he just wanted to hug you right now, but he missed his chance when it reached midnight. Now he's going to accept the consequences of shock by not getting a good night's rest like he intended.

This bothered him.

How were you sleeping right now?

Just as the thought crossed his mind, he was out the door. Midnight, shoeless feet, his plain black shirt and sweats, he walked down the corridor to your door and was tempted to knock.

What if he was bothering your rest? He didn't want that, not after the conversation you both had. He turned on his heel and was met face-to-face with his teacher's pet cat who wandered the dorms at night to check on students, it stared straight at his soul and kinda creeped him out.

He put a finger to his lips, trying to shush it from making any possible noise but it harnessed the loudest cat-like screech he's heard. Bakugou jumped when he heard your door creak open, turning as quick as he could to see you.

"Katsuki? What are you doing here at night? 's like...," You trailed off, looking back into your room for your clock. "1:37 AM. It's way past your bedtime."

"U-Uh yeah, sorry. Just wanted to check on you," He mumbled the last bit, shooing you with his hand. "Go back to sleep, I'll talk to ya in the morning."

It was silent for a moment and you sighed, reaching out to grab his retreating hand and pulling him into your room.

"What? Hey! This isn't allowed!" He scolded you, tapping your hand on his. He was grateful it was dark enough to hide the growing warmth on his cheeks.

"Not like it matters, it's almost 2 AM. Don't want you to go to class tired," You mumbled with a yawn. You pulled him to your bed, gesturing him to rest on top of your shoulder as you laid there waiting.

He hesitantly sits down and curls to your side, your hand playing with his soft yet spiky hair. Bakugou relaxes and focuses on your deep breaths.

"What's wrong?" You asked, eyes closed. "Rare t'see you staying up so late. Can't sleep?"

He shakes his head. "Just thinking about you."

"Awww, how sweet~," You whispered with a giggle. "What were you thinking about?"

Bakugou stares at you before grunting.

"Drop the act. I saw your puffy eyes the second you came out of your room," He snarls, sitting up and looking down at you. "Don't do that in front of me."

You frowned for a moment and smiled again, hand reaching up and caressing his cheek. It was always so soft and clear, probably from the quirk he inherited from his mother.

"Can't help it. Got used to it, hun," You told him. "Not like I could sleep either, cried 'til I could. Kinda worked until I heard Mr Aizawa's cat screeching."

Bakugou cringed with his eyes closed. "Sorry."

"No problem, I like his cat," You answered. It was silent again. "Do you think I'm pitiful?"

"No," He answered. "If you're looking for pity, you're dating the wrong guy."

Chuckling, you nodded. "Must be dating the right one then."

You sat up just slightly, kissing his chin. It was the most you could do in the position, and he didn't seem like the type to budge. He grabs your cheek and kisses your forehead.

"Whatever happened, happened. Just because you told me, doesn't mean my impression of you changed. You just...," He trailed off. "... Showed me how you need to be treated, the best of the best."

"You're a better fit for a hero than any extra. Trust me," He stated firmly. Tears welled up in your eyes and you smiled wobbily.

"Damn it, you Katsudon! I just finished crying too," You muttered, rubbing your eyes as you let the tears cascade down your cheeks. He smiles at your reaction, leaning in to kiss you on the lips gently and choosing not to point out the ridiculous pet name you gave him.

"From now on, tell me everything. What makes you uncomfortable, happy, and how I can make you feel better," He ruffles your hair. "I love you, idiot. You're stuck with me."

More tears fell from your eyes. He waited for your smile to come and his heart grew warm again.

"Thank you, Suki. I love you too." You laughed.

♡︎ literate-simp

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