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fandomfix13 · 6 months

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Get Him Back - Rafe Cameron 18+

* HI ITS BEEN A WHILE SINCE IVE WRITTEN ANYTHING BUT IM HERE NOW

* TBH THIS IS MY FIRST TIME WRITING SMUT SO BARE WITH ME

* This is so super long and also completely filthy at parts SO MDNI and pls read warnings

* little bit of fluff? Def some pretty smutty smut. This did not start out as smut but here we are

* WRITTEN IN Y/N’s POV, lots of dialogue

*anything in italics is your inner monologue

Word count: 4K

WARNINGS: MDNI!, mentions of cheating (not rafe), toxic ex, oral (giving and receiving), fingering, rough-ish??, p in v sex, hair pulling, light choking??, not rated e for everyone

The rain is pouring down in sheets. Falling harder than it has in a while. My head is pounding from holding back tears, that I might as well let out. I never thought that I would be in this situation. Forced out of my boyfriend's car after a fight at nearly one in the morning, with a dead phone, left to walk home alone in the pouring rain. How cliche. Not to mention the fact that I’m just over three miles away from home. What a dick. Some “man” he is to leave me like that. For all he cares, I could be kidnapped out here. However, it's highly unlikely being that I’m wandering in one of (if not the nicest) neighborhoods in this entire state. Constantly guarded by a neighborhood watch, with gated community after gated community.

I can see the the sharp rain plummeting down in the glow of the street lights. Unlucky for me, the wind has picked up too making this walk even more miserable. At this point, I have two options; 1. I could continue to walk home in this miserable weather OR 2. I could lose all dignity and show up to Sarah’s house after not talking to her in months. Seeing as this storm is showing absolutely no sign of stopping, its looking like the second option is better. As I turn the corner, I approach the Seabrook Gated Community. A little ways down is the fence that Sarah and I used to hop all the time when we would sneak out. That’s my in. It’s an old rusty fence that is hidden behind some overgrown hedges behind some wildly overpriced house that rarely ever has anyone living in it.

After nearly slipping off of the slippery fence, I make my way down the street to Tanny Hill. Mentally preparing myself for the absolute humiliation that will occur if Sarah opens the front door. We had our falling out about 3 months ago and we haven't spoken since. We have tried our best to avoid each other at all costs. At least I’ve tried avoiding her, that is, until this very moment.

As I approach the front lawn, I genuinely consider turning around and quite literally braving the storm and walking home. As it is, I’m already soaked from head to toe and probably on the verge of pneumonia. However, I shake off my thoughts and walk towards the front door. I knock three times in hope that someone will hear. I don’t ring the doorbell out of fear of waking up the entire Cameron household which is the last thing I need to do. After a few seconds, nobody answers. This house is huge maybe they are coming. I convince myself that nobody is answering the door so I turn accepting my fate and I walk away. Suddenly, I hear the front door unlock and my breath gets caught in my throat when I hear his voice.

“Y/N? Is that you?” Fuck. Me.

“Hey Rafe.” I choke out. God I probably look insane.

“What are you doing here?” he looks at his phone “at 1:26 in the morning.”

“Um. Is Sarah home?” I spit out, trying to avoid conversation.

“She’s not…but I am.” He leans against the door frame looking me up and down in a ��you good?’ way. “You also didn’t answer my question.” He adds.

“I uh…I didn’t know where else to go.” I say quietly. I was right. This is in fact humiliating. He just stands there and stares at me. Clearly unamused at the fact that I still haven't answered his question as to why I am standing on his front porch looking like a wet dog. I would stare too. “Are you gonna let me inside? Or are you just gonna keep staring at me in silence.” I add.

“That depends.” He says lookin back into the house then back at me. “Are you gonna tell me why you’re here? Or are you just gonna avoid the question.” Touche. We stand here in silence for a moment as he watches me get pelted in the face by the rain and I chatter my teeth. He finally pushes the door open further and gestures for me to come inside. Thank go Sarah isn’t home because I would be shitting myself out of embarrassment right now. I walk in and Rafe opens a hallway in the closet as he reaches in and grabs a towel that he throws at me. “If You get anything wet, Rose will lose her shit.”

“How kind.” I say with strong notes of sarcasm.

“Hey I didn’t have to let you in. I could've just left you outside on your own.” he’s right.

“Well you wouldn’t be the first guy to leave me outside tonight, so I probably would’ve been fine” I blurt out without thinking. What happened to me tonight is none of his business. Plus I’m sure he will hear about it anyway. However, he did let me inside which he did not have to do, so I could at least pretend to be grateful.

“Damn. That's rough. Sorry about that.” he almost sounded embarrassed.

“No, it's fine. Thanks for the towel.” he nods and sits down at the kitchen counter. We stand in silence for a bit as I ring my hair out into the sink. This couldn’t be more awkward. Here I am standing in my ex best friend’s house with her older brother, who was in fact my first kiss in a game of truth or dare years ago, and who happens to be the best friend of my boyfriend who just dumped me on the side of the road in the middle of the night. This is just grand. “Do you have a phone charger? My phone is completely dead.”

“Uh yeah its upstairs. Do you wanna-” he cut himself off before speaking again. “Do you just wanna come up with me so you can change?” Right. So. Apparently this absolutely CAN feel more awkward. Whatever. I need to charge my phone and honestly a change of clothes sounds devine. I silently follow Rafe up the stairs and into his room. “If you want you can take a shower to warm up. Your teeth haven’t stopped chattering since you got here.” he’s being frighteningly nice.

“Um sure.” I say hesitantly as I am incredibly confused by his nice attitude. I plug in my phone and Rafe hands me one of his old t-shirts and a pair of booty shorts that were surely left here by some random girl, but honestly I don’t care. I have to get out of these clothes. “Thanks.” I say taking the clothes and entering his bathroom, closing and locking the door quickly behind me. Literally what the fuck. There is no way this is really happening.

I take my time in the shower as I let the steaming hot water warm me up for a while. When I’m done, I put on the clothes that Rafe gave me, and open the bathroom door seeing him sitting on his bed, scrolling through his phone.

“Hey Topper called you like five times when you were in the shower.” He says unfazed. My attitude shifts almost immediately.

“You didn’t answer it did you?” I blurt out. Nice job y/n! That wasn’t suspicious at all!

“No…why would I?” he laughs clearly confused as I let out a sigh of relief. Once again. Awkward silence. I take a seat on the edge of the bed going through my phone. “Are you gonna call him back?” he asks. Before I could answer him, his phone starts to ring. Toppers name is displayed on the screen. Rafe looks at his phone, then back to me, then back to his phone.

“I am NOT here. Answer it. Put it on speaker.” I say frantically. Now he's intrigued.

“Hey Top!” Rafe answers. “Rafe! I fucked up man. I fucked up BAD! I’m coming over. I need a drink asap.” I am immediately shaking my head and mouthing ‘no’. “Top I can’t tonight man. My dad is on my ass and if Rose finds out I have someone over, I’m dead bro.” Is he seriously helping me right now?

Topper scoffs on the other line. “Since when have you given a shit about what Rose thinks? I’m already on my way!”

“Then turn around and go home man. I can’t tonight.”

“What is up with you dude? You never turn down a drink” its silent for a minute “Oh shit do you have a chick over right now?” Im disgusted at the change in tone in Top’s voice when he brings up Rafe having a girl over.

“Yeah bro I do. And she’s alone right now in my bed so I gotta go. I'll call you tomorrow.” Rafe responds, very quick to go along with Topper’s question.

“That’s my man!” Topper laughs “is she hot? She better be hot!”

Even Rafe rolls his eyes at Topper’s comment. “Yeah she’s hot. Okay gotta go man.” Rafe responds as he hangs up the phone. Is that true, does he think I’m hot? I don’t care. Do I?

I let out a huge sigh of relief that we dodged the bullet of Top showing up here.

“So. Are you gonna tell me why I just had to lie to my best friend?”

I shift nervously. “Well technically you didn’t lie. There is a ‘chick’ here and she is sitting on your bed.” I try to make a joke avoiding this conversation at all costs.

“Y/n.” He says, raising his eyebrows. He clearly wants an answer.

“I broke up with Top and he didn’t take it well.” I say on an exhale. He doesn’t say anything because he’s not stupid. He has probably figured out that much already. I let out a heavy sigh. “He kicked me out of his car in the middle of the road three miles away from my house in the fucking rain because I accused him of cheating on me. He told me that I had no idea what I was talking about. He said I was crazy, and that I was making shit up. But I’m not. I know for a fact that I’m not. It’s not the first time either. He’s done it before, which I’m sure you already know since you’re his best friend and he probably tells you everything.” I make that realization as I’m rambling my story out to him. Rafe is probably well aware of Topper’s lack of loyalty.

“I uh. I knew about it the first time.” He admits. His honestly with the situation makes me laugh a little as I roll my eyes.

“Of course you did. Being that it was with your sister. I’d be shocked if you didn’t know.” The look on Rafe’s face instantly changes. It’s almost like he’s holding something back. “Unless…Sarah wasn’t the first girl was she. There was someone else.” Tears that I have been pushing back for weeks start to well in my eyes. Not because I’m sad, but because I’m furious. Even Rafe doesn’t know what to say. Without thinking, I grab my wet clothes and my barely charged phone, and head towards his bedroom door. “I should go. Thanks for the shower and-”

“Y/n don’t be ridiculous” he says quickly following me. “You can’t leave right now that storm is getting worse” He puts his hand on the door, shutting it.

I turn and he is standing close enough to me to create an odd sort of tension.

“Why don’t you get him back?” Rafe suggests as I roll my eyes.

“I don’t want to get back with him Rafe I’m so ov-” he cuts me off.

“That’s not what I’m saying. I mean get him back. As in revenge.” he says as he steps closer to me. Jesus Christ I’m an absolute idiot.

“Revenge…right.” I laugh awkwardly. He continues to inch closer, creating an even bigger amount of tension. Not that tension is an unfamiliar thing with Rafe and I. There has always been a weird tension between us. Ya know…the whole best friends brother thing. I’ve known Rafe for almost 10 years. Something about his cocky attitude has always been attractive to me. Call it toxic. I don’t care. It’s just the truth. Rafe and I are standing right infront of each other. He is towering over me as my back is still to the door.

“You know…They say that one of the best ways to get over a guy is to get under another.” He almost whispers while moving my hair out of my face. I can’t help but blush. The thought of getting back at Topper crossed my mind the second he cheated on me. The thought of getting back at him by hooking up with his best friend? That’s even better. Rafe leans down and starts to kiss my neck. “Rafe we probably shouldn’t do this” I whisper clearly enjoying it.

“Of course we shouldn’t. But I do shit that I shouldn’t do all the time.” He stops kissing my neck to look me in the face.

“Me too” I nod letting out a breath as I crash my lips onto his. The kiss is instantly filled with an insane amount of intensity. Rafe backs me up against the wall as he deepens the kiss. He moves from my mouth to my neck, leaving hickeys all over. He is making sure that I can’t hide what we are doing. And I’m totally here for it. His hands move from my hair, to my hips, to underneath the hem of my shirt. Well. Technically his shirt. I’m braless since my bra got soaked in that rain earlier. He quickly realizes this as his hand grazes over my tits. He starts to grip them while kissing me, making me moan softly until he stops for a second.

“As hot as you look in my shirt…it’s coming off” he nearly growls. I lift my arms as he lifts the shirt over my head and throws it across the room. I reach for his shirt to take it off. Once he takes it off his mouth is back on mine. Our foreheads are pressed together as our bare chests are rising and falling against each other. He hoists me up, grabbing my ass as I throw my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. We don’t last long against the wall before we move to the bed.

He lays me down on the edge of the bed as he hovers over me kissing me yet again. Each kiss gets more aggressive. We bite each other's lips between kisses. He moves his mouth from my lips to my neck leaving more marks. Slowly, he makes his way to my chests. The marks he makes get darker and darker. He puts his mouth over my nipple, making me moan as he slightly bites down. He quickly moves his hand up to cover my mouth.

“Shhh. Baby we gotta stay quiet.” He says as he moves from one nipple to the other. I moan into his hand as he stifles the sound that comes out. His hand moves from my mouth to my throat as he wraps his hand around it lightly. His lips meet mine again. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this.” holy shit. I moan into our kiss as his hand is on my throat. His hand travels down my body until its hovering over my shorts. He’s moving his hand from one thigh to the other. Barely grazing the spot where I need him the most. I breathe into our kiss as his hand stops at the waistband of my shorts. He’s such a fucking tease. He hovers his hand there for a minute sensing that I want more.

“Oh my God Rafe” I moan out of anticipation.

“You want more baby?” he smirks against my lips.

“You know I do” Smartass.

“Say less” he moves from his position above me, to kneeling on the floor at the edge of the bed. He hooks his fingers around the waistband of my shorts, pulling them down, revealing my bare pussy. He pulls me closer to the edge of the bed and spreads my legs in one swift motion, causing my breath to hitch. He leans down and attaches his mouth to my clit. This of course causes another accidental moan to slip from my mouth. I immediately throw my own hands over my mouth to quiet the noise. His tongue is swirling circles over my clit as he inserts two fingers without warning. As hard as I am trying to stifle my sounds, nothing could stop the groan that I let out at this moment. He moves his fingers at a faster pace that matches what his tongue is doing.

“Holy Shit Rafe.” I whine.

“You like that?” he smirks up at me. I nod and roll my eyes to the back of my head before shutting them tightly. But suddenly Rafe stops. “Open your eyes y/n. I want you to look at me when you cum. I want you to see who is making you feel this good.” I do as he says and open my eyes as I prop myself up on my elbows to get a better view. “Atta girl” He smirks before burying his face into me yet again. He adds a third finger as I throw my head back while remaining eye contact. He curls his fingers as he eats me out and I want to scream at the pressure building up inside of me. I reach forward and tangle my fingers through his hair as he grins up towards me.

“Rafe! Oh my God” I let out a string of other soft noises and words.

“Go ahead baby. Cum for me,” I look Rafe in the eyes as I jerk my hips and arch my back, completely unraveling in front of him. As he removes his fingers from inside of me, he brings them up to my mouth. “I want you to see how good you taste.” he says as I take his fingers into my mouth until they are clean. He removes his fingers from my mouth and laces his hands through my hair as he devours me with a kiss.

“That was incredible.” I breathe heavily.

“Oh we aren’t done yet princess.” the sound of him calling me princess was enough to nearly send me over the edge again.

“I’d hope not” I tangle my tongue with his as he deepens the kiss by pulling my hair back. I reach for his pants and I undo his belt.

“Eager are we?” he scoffs, pulling away for a moment. He removes his belt and his pants. Leaving his boxers for me to remove. I gesture for him to sit on the edge of the bed where I just was. When he sits, I climb onto his lap, straddling him over his boxers. I can tease too. I lean in kissing him as I slowly start to rock back and forth on his lap. I can feel him getting harder by the second. To be honest this is doing just as much for me as it is for him. I start to kiss his neck, leaving marks similar to the ones he left on me. I start to rock faster back and forth until he is letting out moans the way I was. I cover his mouth.

“I thought we had to stay quiet.” I give him a sly smile before kneeling on the floor and removing his boxers. I come face to face with his cock as I run my tongue up the side, looking up at him while I do it. I move my tongue to the other side slowly, taking my sweet time.

“Fuck y/n” Rafe groans as he places his hand in my hair.

I wrap my mouth around the head of his cock and start to suck slowly, using my hands to work the rest that I can’t fit in my mouth. I bob my head up and down while I look up at him, my eyes are starting to water. He grabs my head and slightly pushes me down further, and I can feel his tip hit my throat. When it does Rafe lets out a deep moan with a mumbled string of “oh fucks”. After a few minutes, I can sense that he is going to cum. I don’t bother asking where he wants to finish before he finishes in my mouth. I swallow and look up at him with a smile.

“Holy shit. You really know what you’re doing.” He lets out a heavy content sigh. “We still aren't done yet. I need to be inside you.” He says laying me back down on the bed. I still cannot believe that this is happening.

Rafe wastes no time climbing on top of me leaving sloppy kisses up my chest and meeting my mouth with his. “You sure about this?” He looks down at me.

“Never been more sure about anything.” I nod.

“Good” He says as he grabs a condom from his nightstand and puts it on. Seconds later, he is lining himself up at my entrance. His tongue plunges into my mouth as he enters inside of me. His cock stretched my pussy perfectly. He moves with smooth motions leaving us both moaning into each other's mouths as he starts to pick up the pace of his thrusts. He brings his hand to my throat once again,barely applying pressure, making me let out a moan that was too loud to be stifled. He doesn’t seem to care.

“You like when my hands are around your neck?” He whispers in my ear.

“Yes! Oh my god yes” I am starting to get louder. He moves his hand from my throat to my mouth to keep me quiet again. I moan into his hand as his thrusts hit the perfect spot inside of me. He can tell that he has hit the spot when my hips start to buck in perfect rhythm with his thrusts. I am almost screaming into his hand. As he leans down to kiss me again.

“You gonna cum with me?” he asks, pressing his forehead against mine. I nod unable to speak, to stop myself from screaming. “Words y/n. Use your words”

“Fuck yes. I’m gonna cum!” I whine out. He thrusts in and out a few more times, hitting the spot perfectly making me squirm underneath him. With one final thrust, I arch my back as I scratch my nails down his, definitely leaving scratch marks. We cum simultaneously as we let out deep and hungry moans into each other's mouths. He just gave me the best orgasm I have ever had. He pulled out and laid next to me.

“Holy shit. I’ve waited so long to do that.” he says looking at me out of breath.

“Me too. I always had a crush on you ya know.” I say looking at him equally as out of breath.

“Yeah I know.” He smiles and lets out a soft chuckle.

“Took you long enough to do something about it.” I laugh back.

“Thank God I did. And I plan on doing it again. Just so you know.” I winked at me

“I’d hope so.” I smile, laying there next to him. He was right. That was the best way to get over someone.

** hi! I really hope you liked this. If you did and want to see more let me know what you want to see! I had fun writing this and in my many many years of writing fanfics this is somehow my first time writing smut so I hope it was okay lol ❤️

#rafe cameron x reader #rafe smut #rafe outer banks #rafe x reader #rafe cameron smut #obx fanfic #rafe cameron #rafe obx #obx fanfiction #outerbanks rafe #drew starkey #rafe x you #rafe x y/n #rafe x female!mc #obx smut

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enblvsh · 1 year

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ENHYPEN HEADCANON - their favorite form of physical affection

genre. soft/fluff, suggestive for jay.

a/n. omg, hi.. soo quick life update; i went to the seventeen concert in oakland!! literally had the best time of my life and i miss them sm :(( also i haven't written anything since i last posted, so im currently easing back into it, please bare with ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა also can i just wow, this is the first post i started and actually finished in one sitting?!?!? so proud of myself tbh

lee heeseung. ʚɞ headpats although it may not seem as "traditional" or "romantic", heeseung likes it because it can be used to express many things. when he's proud of you; *pat* when he finds you adorable; *pat* or when your simply just existing; *pat* *pat* *pat*. it's also his way of saying hello and acknowledging your presence—say as your passing by him or sitting next to him. hee just finds it adorable and endearing; and because its subtle, he likes that he can do it in front of the others as well, without having to deal with their teasing and complaints.

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park jongseong. ʚɞ kisses jay is a classic man who would express his love through kisses. i feel like he'd absolutely LOVE to spoil you with kisses, not even kidding he will kiss you 10 times a day AT LEAST; whether that's before he leaves for work, when he comes back, while you're falling asleep in each other's arms, or simply any moment in each other's presence. it's not always on the lips though; he'll kiss your forehead, eyelids, cheeks, neck, collarbone, shoulders, and hands. they tend to be soft and sweet, simply expressing his pure love and admiration for you, but they can also be passionate and heated, which may or may not lead to something more...

sim jaeyun. ʚɞ cuddles i am so whipped for jake, he's literally the clingiest and cuddliest boy ever ! he'll drop anything just to cuddle with you, even if it's important, but really nothing will ever be more important than you :( tbh you guys are always cuddling, but his favorite are the ones after a long day, because that's when they're the most comforting. jake is always a giggling mess during your cuddle sesh; i mean, how else is he suppose to react when your cute lil face is so close to his? with that being said, he prefers to be the big spoon so he can admire and plant kisses all over your face, but he occasionally likes to be the little spoon too.

park sunghoon. ʚɞ holding hands this is more of a fact than an opinion, like have you seen the i-land clips? despite his cold and composed demeanor, ice prince is actually the softest boy there ever was, and is a little shy when it comes to pda. sunghoon likes any form of affection regarding your hands—holding them, kissing them, playing with them, etc. not only does he think its romantic but he likes the subtly of the act, and thinks it easy to hide when the others catch him being affectionate (even though he's horrible at playing it off.) he's always holding your hand in public too, or sometimes he'll link your pinkies together to give you a little more freedom when you go shopping. and even in private, he'll hold your hand while the other is scrolling through his phone. he just loves your hands and finds them so pretty (but not prettier than his duh!)

kim sunoo. ʚɞ hugs this little ball of sunshine ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა i've said it before, but sunoo is just so bubbly and absolutely loves being around you. his hugs are used to greet you, check up on you, comfort you, and so on. his favorite kind are back hugs, and he LOVES giving them. there's simply nothing better than holding you and resting his head on your shoulders, it's when he's at his happiest. and he most certainly loves being held as well. you loved how safe you felt in his embrace, his hugs are always so warm and theraputic (sunoo's hugs = free therapy and personal human heater). definitely the type of boyfriend to run up and hug you after being away from you for so long.

yang jungwon. ʚɞ hugs + cuddles jungwon seems so cuddly tbh, he looks like someone who'd give the warmest hugs, or whose hugs would instantly melt away the worries of those who embrace him. of course, his hugs would be a way to comfort you during tough times, but they're also his way of saying hello or expressing his curiosity to what you were doing. say you're making yourself food, he'll just come up from behind and wrap his arms around you while watching what you were making. jungwon also loves cuddles; he doesn't have a particular reason why, he just does, and it's not like he has to do much to get what he wants (he has his ways ◔_◔) 75% of the times he's the little spoon, because to him that's when he can let down his guard, take a break from being the leader and relax. but when he's the big spoon, he'll be constantly brushing your hair behind your ear/running his finger through your hair, and give you so so many back rubs!

nishimura riki. ʚɞ leaning on each other's shoulders honestly speaking, riki doesn't seem like someone who's big on physical touch, maybe that's because he's young? but this boy will always lean his head on your shoulder when you're sitting close to each other. not only is it comfortable, but it's also his way of saying he's comfortable with you :) sometimes he'll lay your head on his shoulder too— it's him letting you know that you can be comfortable with him! riki oddly likes to rub his head against yours, which sounds funny but is actually quite adorable. whenever riki sees you sitting by yourself, he lwky feels bad because you're alone (even though you're perfectly fine with it.) of course he's not gonna let his s/o be alone, so he sits besides you and leans his head on your shoulder, so you know he's there for you <3

#enhypen #enhypen reaction #enhypen headcanon #enhypen imagine #enhypen scenario #enhypen x reader #enhypen fluff #enhypen soft #heeseung #jay #jake #sunghoon #sunoo #jungwon #niki #enblvsh

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orshii · 7 days

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The Night We Met (forget me not)

Author: orshii

Pairing: Kim Hongjoong x female reader

Warnings: cursing, violence, blood, lots of angst

Word count: 8,7 k

Trope: strangers to lovers

Summary: Kim Hongjoong lived anything but a normal life, his enigmatic presence shrouded in mystery. You were drawn to him when you met him on a strange, rainy night, soaked and with nowhere to go. Despite his guarded nature, a connection formed between you, fueled by curiosity and the allure of the unknown. What will happen when one night he comes home bleeding? Will you unravel the truth behind Hongjoong's enigmatic existence, or will the dangers lurking in the shadows consume you both?

A/N: Since I am very obsessed with red-haired Hongjoong because, he killed me at Coachella bfr, I just felt the urge to write something with him, so this happened. It ended up a little angsty, sorry not sorry, I love writing angst tbh lol. So enjoy the ride, I guess. xoxo, orshii. (also, sorry if there are mistakes :'( ) (divider) horanghae tho

The swaying bodies around me tortured me, I felt like I couldn't breathe as all I could see was him, speaking, and shouting over the loud music, that made my heart break with every strong beat. I couldn't hear the music, all I could hear was the words that came out of his mouth. 'You are sick', 'I'm tired of your shit', 'You'll never be good enough' and it went on and on, these words were the only thing I could hear, I breathed them in and it went straight into my heart, breaking it into thousands of pieces, as nothing remained there only little powerless specks of dust.

He kept on going, glaring at me like I was a wet stray dog on the street. His eyes were full of hatred, the man with whom I fell in love, made me feel special and made me feel good enough, now did the whole opposite of these things, and made me believe I was a fucking nobody. After a little time, as he still spat the most hurtful words out of his mouth, I could see everything in slow motion, the way he spoke and he was angrily shouting at me, his spit landing on my face as he spoke, the dancing bodies around us pushing closer to him, even tho I wanted the opposite. No one really noticed that I was on the verge of breaking down right there, as I barely could breathe. My brain closed him out, I was just staring at him and wondered, where that sweet guy that I fell in love with had gone. Suddenly I felt empty, nothing was on my mind, all I knew was that I wanted to disappear from the world, especially I wanted to get away from him as far as possible. So, whilst he was speaking, suddenly I turned my back without a word and started to somehow push myself out from the bodies that surrounded me.

I felt weak as I bumped into random people, they pushed me from left to right as I barely had any strength. It felt like ages until somehow I could fight myself through the strange bodies. I stepped out of the club into the cold night. I was just standing in front of the exit and closed my eyes shut, I just needed some fresh air, but it couldn't reach my lungs for some reason. Suddenly I felt something wet and cold landing on my face, followed by a lot of cold drops. I opened my eyes and looked up at the sky, as it started to rain very strongly, immediately wetting my face, and my hair as I suddenly could breathe. It felt like the rain was caressing my face, that felt like invisible hands, cupping my cheeks, wetting my lips, the wet drops dropping down to my chest that melted right into my heart, giving some reassuring feeling. I closed my eyes again holding my head up against the sky, letting the raindrops wet my brain as it kind of brought me back to life and made me realize what just happened, I breathed in as I felt the cold air getting into my lungs slowly, making my body tremble. That was the exact moment when I broke down. I couldn't hold it any longer, as all the emotions that I cut off when I was in front of him, not letting him see me break, now shuttered into pieces, my breathing got heavy, as I hunched over my knees, and tears suddenly blinding me as I was staring at the wet ground. I was sobbing, tears fell into the wet ground disappearing like it wasn't even there, now I looked like a wet stray dog, that had nowhere to go.

"Everything's alright?" Suddenly I heard a strange voice behind me. After a few deep breaths I tried to calm down, I straightened up and turned around. Just to see a man leaning against the club's brick wall, one of his legs propped on the wall. His clothes were soaked just like mine, as he was holding a cigarette between his thin pierced lips, which were long burned out from the rain, his wet hair that strangely looked like the shade of a deep red that looked like fresh blood, his wet hair would've fallen into his forehead if it wasn't for the black sunglasses that were pushed up to the top of his head, making his forehead free from his hair. He looked at me curiously, eyeing me up and down with a look I couldn't entirely read. Maybe he seemed a little concerned. But that thought immediately made me forget that, when I saw the confident smirk on his face. Just another asshole in this world, that looked at me like I was a nobody.

"Yeah," I said after what felt like an eternity, somehow I almost forgot why I was standing in the rain and cried myself almost to death. I locked my eyes with him, he really didn't seem bothered by the rain pouring at us unstoppably. I wasn't in the mood to chit-chat with a stranger so I turned to get the hell out of there. I did not know where I could go, but I knew that I needed to go somewhere, far away from here.

"It didn't seem like it, sweetheart." He shouted after me, his voice melting with the rain that was falling on us.

"It's none of your business." I turned around to look at him as I shrugged.

Then he pushed himself off the wall and walked towards me, throwing the wet cigarette to the wet floor. I barely saw him because of the rain, but as he closed the distance suddenly all I could see was his face being close to mine. I could see as raindrops dropped from his hair, the water on his veiny neck flew down in red strings, as I assume he died his hair red recently, the wet drops fell from his thin lips as he looked down at me.

"My heart can't take as little girls like you cry in the rain." He slowly reached his hand towards my head and tugged my hair behind my ear. My eyes unconsciously fell on his pierced lips that were so close to mine, that if I had leaned in a little, it could meet his.

I snapped his hands away from my face, and my sanity came back, I couldn't believe there weren't any normal people on earth that couldn't deal with their fucking problems.

He chuckled at my movement. "Why are you so mean, sweetheart?" His smirk still did not disappear.

"Do I look like someone who would let a stranger touch me? And don't call me sweetheart!” I said to him getting angrier. “Oh my God, what did I do to the world." I cried out in disbelief looking up to the sky. I was so soaked, but at that point, I didn’t really feel that I was all wet.

Then suddenly I was sitting in the stranger's car, -whose name was Hongjoong apparently- all soaked, wetting the luxurious car's seating, which was a beautiful raven-black Maserati. I looked at my left side, Hongjoong's side profile on the sight, his undercut showing with the sunglass still being pushed back, which highlighted his sharp jawline. The dye on his neck now dried leaving red marks there. He was a very handsome and apparently a rich stranger. I have no idea why was I even in his car, as we were heading toward his apartment. Because I had nowhere to go.

Long story short, I kind of told him everything about what happened on this tragic night with my life. My ex dumped me because he thought I was cheating on him, the reality was that he was cheating on me and he just blamed it all on me, saying I was the problem as I couldn't keep him excited so he needed to try if someone else could. What kind of bullshit is that?

I was living with him, my parents were far away on another continent, I moved here because of my, well, now ex, and started to work at a random café, just so that I could start a painting course, as my biggest dream to achieve was to be a known painter. I wanted to organize exhibitions where I could put my paintings out, to show them to the world, to show my emotions through the paintings, so other people might feel the same, and share common feelings. Painting was the only thing that understood me. When I was painting I felt like it was my therapy, the way I traced the brush on the canvas, with different kinds of colors. I always painted my emotions on the white canvas, which in the end, always ended dark, full of black and red colors. As those were the representations of my emotions. I felt pain, just as the word painting symbolized my whole being. But there were times, very rarely, when I painted a whole rainbow on the canvas, as something good happened that day. It was always personal, I wasn't the kind of person, who painted lands and random vases with fruits next to them. I just painted what I felt, it always came out like a mess, like chaos, but there was something beautiful in it, something special. I always felt vulnerable when I showed it to people, but in the end, it's only me who knows what it is about. People only see random colors and shapes, that are a little grotesque, some of them are amazed by, how artistic it is, but some of them are just looking at it frowning, as they only see a splash of colors, saying 'I could do that easily, it's only a bunch of colors poured right there'. It is hurtful hearing things like that when it's my emotions that are painted there in a physical form. But I think it is only you, yourself, who can understand the struggles you are going through.

So as I was dumped by my ex, I remained alone. I was kind of new in the town and I didn't know anyone besides him and a bunch of his ass friends. I had nowhere to go, as I didn’t want to see his face anymore.

Hongjoong…kind of made me tell him these things, and he offered I can stay at his place, while I figure out what can I do in the future. The rain stopped after a while as we sat in his car and I told him all these things like I had known him for ages, he was listening to me and I could see on his face he cared for some questionable reasons. I had no idea why he offered this in the first place, and I had no idea why the hell did I agree. Even tho he seemed like an asshole for the first seeing, when he genuinely asked me what was the problem, I kind of felt like I can tell him anything I want and I kind of blame it on my fucked up day and on the fact that I was tired, I was tired of people, whom I always wanted to be good enough, but I just failed all the time. And now, it seemed I could trust in a stranger more than everybody.

As soon as we arrived at his apartment, which was a penthouse, my jaw was on the floor when I looked around. Everything was luxurious, most of the furniture was surprisingly black, with a hint of dark red, just like his car and his hair. It really did suit him. I had no idea who this man was, but I am sure he was rich as hell.

After Hongjoong showed me the guest room and gave me clothes that I could change into, he left me alone so I could shower. In the bathroom, I still couldn’t comprehend where I was and what exactly happened. It only came in a big flow when I managed to lay down into the big king-sized bed, that was so soft I felt like I was going to disappear into it. I was laying on my right side and hugged my knees to my chest, just so I could hug something, something that gave me enough comfort, whispering to myself everything is going to be alright, as I finally managed to fall asleep with tears flowing down my face.

The next few weeks went by just like seconds, my only escape was work and painting as it mostly occupied my mind. Hoshi, my ex, tried to talk to me a few times after work when I was closing up, but Hongjoong always came to pick me up, after the first time he heard my ex was there. It was really odd, the way he was acting, acting like he wanted to protect me from the world, even tho he didn't know me. And I didn't know him either, but as we spent these few days together, we kind of grew closer to each other, I felt like he became a person whom I can rely on.

I needed to figure out what to do next, because I did not want to bother Hongjoong with my poor ass, living in his penthouse like a princess, as he did not accept any money for the rent. Even tho I barely had money, I still wanted to make it up to him, so instead of money, I decided to clean the flat when I had the time and to cook for him some delicious meals, like a freaking maid, but quid pro quo.

I'm not going to say that Hongjoong didn’t act suspiciously from time to time. Because that would be a lie. The times when he suddenly came into the apartment with blood on his face and slight stabs on his body, painting his body red here and there, made me realize he was into some dangerous games. Luckily I learned how to stitch wounds when I was in high school, as back then I wanted to be a doctor, not until I found painting.

It was again a rainy dark night when the front door closed with a loud thump. I ran out to the living room, where the storm outside lightened it up in slow-motion, just to see a collapsed Hongjoong on the floor. The white carpet under him was now full of blood, that looked like the color of his hair. My heart started to race, as I hurried next to him.

"Hongjoong!" I kneeled next to him, just to cup his face and check his heartbeat. It was still beating but very weekly. I was so scared he might die in my arms.

"Sweetheart" He mumbled faintly, reaching his hands to my wrists that held his face. He was looking up at me with desperate eyes, almost begging me to save him.

He did come back with some stitches here and there, but this was much deeper. As I slowly reached my hands towards his wet white T-shirt that was mixed with rain and blood, I lifted it very slowly, he winced at that painfully. I let out a quiet gasp when I saw the wound, it was a bullet lodging into his abdomen. Tears started to flow down my face, as I tried to think, about what to do now.

"I'm going to call an ambulance!" I wanted to stand up, to get my phone, but Hongjoong suddenly grabbed my wrist.

"You can't, you have to do it yourself, sweetheart." His voice still came out weak, like he was breathing his last breaths.

"But the bullet is too deep, I can't-" I started to breathe heavily, as I ran my fingers through my hair, squeezing it, as I started to panic. His life depended on me. "I can't do this Hongjoong." I sobbed.

"Come here." As I leaned closer to him, he caressed my cheeks, wiped my tears away with his weak thumb, and looked at me like he had given his life into my hands, and that was literally the case. "You can do it, I trust you, sweetheart." He whispered, weekly, as his hand suddenly dropped to the floor weekly and his eyes closed.

He was unconscious. I needed to put myself together and save the life of the man who saved mine. The next hours were full of me trying to get the bullet out somehow, I needed every kind of knowledge I learned in the past. Everything was full of blood, the carpet, my hands, my clothes, but all I could concentrate on was to clean the wound and stitch it carefully and hope that he did not die. After I finished and his heart was still beating somehow I felt relief going through my body. His body just needed some rest, so it could function again.

When I cleaned up and somehow with all my strength, I managed to lift him to the grey couch and put a warm blanket on him, as he was sweating like crazy because he had a fever. I kneeled next to the couch pressing a wet cloth to his forehead hoping his fever was going to drop. He was fighting for his life and I was praying he could make it alive, as I finally gave in to the dark that swallowed me completely.

I was dreaming of some dark figures that were chasing after me, and then I suddenly found myself on a field, where I saw a red-haired man's back facing me, he was standing between the colorful flowers. Then he suddenly turned and I saw Hongjoong's beautiful smile as he was calling me to follow him.

I felt as if someone pushed me weakly, a voice calling me. Sweetheart. Only one person calls me like that. I quickly came to my senses and lifted my head from the couch I was still kneeling beside it, my limbs numb I barely could move, but the only person that mattered was Hongjoong.

"Hey," I smiled at the survivor, as he was looking at me weekly, his mouth dry.

"Hi", his lips cornered up with a weak attempt.

"How are you feeling?" I scooted upper, so I could caress his face with my thumb.

"Better." He whispered, with a dry throat. As I noticed, I quickly went to pour water into a glass and took some painkillers to give it to him.

"Here, drink some." I slowly helped him up as he was wincing from the pain. I reached the pills to his mouth waiting for him to open it and then the glass so he could drink. After a few gulps from the water, he closed his eyes.

"Thank you, Y/N! You saved my life, I knew you could do it." He slowly opened his eyes and looked at me gratefully.

"Even tho, it was a very bad call from you…You could've died Hongjoong…" Tears started to appear in my eyes as I looked down at my hands.

"But I'm alive…thanks to you, sweetheart. Come here." He took my hands and slowly pulled me closer to him, as he laid down, leaving space for me beside him.

"I don’t want to hurt you." I hesitated a little.

"You won’t hurt me." His thumb traced my cheek and looked at me with affectionate eyes. At that I slowly laid next to him on my side, trying not to be too close to his wound. I was looking at him, and as he did the same, I saw his eyelids were closing, but he forced them open, so he could pull me closer to him by my waist. His face was inches apart from mine. I felt his hot breath on my lips, as he slowly ghosted over mine.

"Kiss me so I won't feel the pain." He whispered the words into my lips, his lips almost touching mine, I could feel his cold piercing on his lips. My heart was racing like crazy. Suddenly all my thoughts were gone, gone into the cold rainy night, as he pressed his lips against mine weekly, giving me control, so I could lead him out of the pain and he wouldn't feel anything. All I wanted to do was to take his pain away, to swallow it, so I could feel it instead of him. My lips moved against his slowly, very patiently, making him forget that he was in pain. He grabbed my waist and pulled me even closer to him, with his remaining strength. But he moaned into my lips from the pain that the movement caused. I wanted to separate from him to make sure he was okay. But he did not let me, he reached his hands to my nape and pulled me closer, suddenly getting some strength from who knows where, as I let him control the kiss again. It started to get more heated, as I separated from him, because of the lack of oxygen.

I looked at him like I couldn't believe he was right there, in pain but still kissing me.

"Sleep now, honey." I whispered at his lips, pecking them again, then moving to his sharp cheekbone, to his nose, then lastly I left feather-like kisses on his eyelids that were already closed, falling into a deep healing sleep.

After a few days of nursing Hongjoong, I was heading back from the grocery store to Hongjoong's apartment. His wound was healing perfectly, it just needed a little more time. He was only able to walk from his room to the balcony to smoke a pack of cigarettes. I asked a lot of times, what had happened, and who did that to him, but he always ignored me or changed the topic. After all, I was just a stranger to him, and he took me in because I was all soaked and I had nowhere to go. Even tho we kissed, that seemed like a fever dream.

But still, he was so protective of me, he did not let me go anywhere alone, and his friends lifted me to work and back, I didn’t even have the opportunity to paint as the painting courses were late at night, and he did not let me outside for some weird reason. He even insisted he was coming with me to the store that was just a few blocks away from his apartment, but I convinced him that it wasn't that far and I was going to be quick.

I was only one block away from the penthouse when suddenly all I could feel was cold hands around my throat and something cold being pressed against my temple. My back was pushed against a wall with an impact, I saw black points as I closed my eyes.

"Where is Captain?" The man who pressed me against the wall forcefully hissed through his yellow teeth.

His hand squeezed my throat with more force. Even if I wanted to talk, words just couldn't leave my mouth as the air was knocked out of my lungs, and my sight started to blur.

"I asked, where is Captain? I am sure you know it, little slut." He shouted at my face, spit landing on my face, as I closed my eyes, trying to scrape his hand off my throat. He pressed the cold thing harder against my temple, it was a gun. I didn't know who Captain was, but I had a very little clue, of who it could be.

The man was on the verge of hitting me with the handle of the gun when suddenly I felt the air getting into my lungs as the man was pushed off me. I hunched over trying to get some air into my lungs as I desperately needed it. My throat felt soar, my heart was pumping like it wanted to jump out from my chest, and I felt the urge to take my hands to my chest just to prevent it from jumping out. I couldn't catch up with the noises that were around me, some shouting and groaning noises that screamed pain. Then suddenly silence came. I slowly straightened up as I finally came to my senses, and tried to get what was happening. I didn't even realize the fact that a gun was pressed against my head, I didn't even realize I could've died. Our mind is a tricky thing, sometimes it is helpful, and sometimes it's our biggest enemy. But for my luck, as I straightened, I saw Yunho in front of me, one of Hongjoong's friends, who picked me up from work a few times. He was a tall, black-haired man, with a well-defined body, who looked intimidating at first, but after a few times as we always chatted the way home, it turned out, he was the sweetest guy ever, full of golden retriever energy.

"Are you okay?" Yunho came closer to me and carefully put his hands on my shoulders, looking at me with concerned eyes. That was the time when I looked down at his hands, that was all bloody, his knuckles full with stitches, then I averted my gaze to his face, which was all beaten up, his lips also bleeding, a cut on his cheekbone. Then I looked down next to us, where four men were laying unconscious, it was a slow process until I somehow put the puzzle together. He knocked out four men with his bare hands only.

"Yeah, I'm okay." I said quietly, my mind full of questions. "Who were they? They asked about someone called… Captain? Is that Hongjoong?"

Yunho's eyes were full of pity. "I'm sorry, Y/N, it isn’t me who should tell you these things." He turned around and went to his black Jeep, which was hurriedly parked on the sidewalk. "Let's get you back to Hongjoong." He said tilting his head a little.

I went to the car and sat in the passenger seat. "How did you know I was in trouble?" My voice felt sour a little, as I still felt the hand around my throat.

"Hongjoong told me to follow you, in case something would happen." He said, not even daring to look at me.

I scoffed at that and remained silent. I didn't know what the hell was happening. Is it normal to send someone so he can watch over you? Is it normal in Kim Hongjoong's life to be attacked? It was, based on the bullet that almost sent him to the other world and me, almost. Kim Hongjoong lived anything but a normal life.

Immediately as I closed the front door, Hongjoong hurried in front of me, pain running through his features that disappeared immediately when he saw me. He quickly came closer to me, worry taking over his painful features. He was eyeing me up and down searching for any injuries. Hongjoong cupped my cheeks and lifted my head.

"Fuck, Y/N, did you get injured?" He traced his right hand through my throat which was red from the choking. I just shook my head as a no, I was glaring at him, analyzing his features that changed between so many emotions, as his gaze remained at my throat, just to finally meet my glare.

"I told you not to go alone, for fuck's sake, Y/N!" He stepped away from me ran his finger through his red hair and squeezed it.

"Did you know someone would attack me? Hongjoong tell me something 'cause I have no idea what is happening." I looked at him with desperate eyes, trying to convince him, that he could tell me anything.

"No, I didn't know, but I felt it was going to happen." He turned his back to me and started to walk up and down in the living room. Then he stopped in front of the big window, where you could see the whole town, being busy, everyone living their normal life. He buried his hands into his face. I could see that his thoughts were screaming at him. A few minutes of silence fell between us. I was just waiting for him to collect his thoughts.

"You have to move out." His voice came out low, I barely could understand it. He didn’t even look at me, he was staring down at the city buried in mist.

My heart started to race, I knew, I knew I needed to move out at some point as I couldn't live here forever. But…it felt weird, months of being here, getting used to each other in ups and downs. And this coming from his mouth, I don't know why…but it hurt.

"Joong…" I stepped closer to him, slowly approaching him. "At least tell me what is going on. They asked about some Captain…is that you?" He was still standing in front of the window, his side profile was sharp, and his red hair seemed brighter as the sun was shining at him, giving it a little shade of orange, he was frowning as he was still thinking. But when he turned, all the emotions were gone from his features, I couldn't see any signs of the prior emotions that were running through his face.

He was glaring at me sharply very determined. "They are going to hurt you if you stay with me, just pack your things and I'll take you somewhere." He said with a commanding voice, that shouted he did not accept no as an answer. I was just looking at him, making sure he really meant it, but he held my gaze without blinking. Tears started to appear in my eyes from all the sudden emotions and from the thoughts of being alone again. I couldn't do anything other than to obey him.

After I quietly packed my things into a bag, this was all I had, I could pack my whole life into a black dirty bag. This bag was by my side all the time, not like the people, who always left me.

The ride to the place Hongjoong was driving us, was quiet. The sun hid behind the big, angry clouds and slowly raindrops started to drop at the windshield. I just leaned my head against the window and stared at the raindrops that were racing against each other on the glass. My mind was empty, I couldn't think. I felt Hongjoong's eyes on me at times, but I just couldn't look at him, because I felt like I might break then.

When we arrived and went up to the apartment that was also Hongjoong's, I stood in the living room and dropped the beg from my hand as I looked around. It was smaller than the penthouse, it was just an ordinary flat, with white furniture, as you stepped in, the living room was an open area with a kitchen. I saw two doors that I assumed were the bedroom and the bathroom. It was small and cozy, but I'm not sure if it will stay like that when I'm going to be left alone with my thoughts. I felt his gaze on my back and I turned around, finally looking into his eyes. Tears immediately started to appear in my eyes, I knew it was a goodbye, and I hated goodbyes. He slowly approached me, his eyes never leaving mine. His hands traced over my cheekbones, wiping the tear away that escaped along the way, then he traced his thumb over my lips, carefully as he was afraid he might break me. But it was too late cause I was already broken.

He slowly replaced his thumb with his thin lips, the piercing on his lips cutting my lips, the stinging racing down to my heart, he cupped my face and pulled me into a passionate kiss, that screamed, it was good 'til it lasted. Tears fell onto my face, falling on our lips as I felt the salty taste. He moved his lips against mine as he wanted to endure this moment for the rest of his life. My heart was aching, I felt like a knife was stabbed directly into my heart.

"You have to forget me, sweetheart." He whispered painfully onto my lips, as he leaned his forehead against mine, his words twisting the knife in my heart.

"But I don't want to." I shook my head, grabbing his wrists that still held my face. The tears never stopped rolling down my face.

"You have to, you are capable of anything, my heart." His eyes were full of adoration, that I never saw in his eyes, caressing my cheeks for the last time as he stepped away from me.

I shook my head as I cried out, I felt like my heart was going to stop at any time. "No, don't leave me Hongjoong…" My voice came out weak, it was barely audible as my crying got worse.

But all he did was turn around, without any emotion. "Goodbye, sweetheart!" and I was left alone again.

My legs gave up and I fell on the ground as I pressed my hands to my mouth just to somehow calm myself down. After all, he was just someone, who helped me out when needed. In these few months, I felt like finally I was heading in the right direction, I felt like I was finally stepping on the right road toward my dreams. Being with Hongjoong made me realize, that everyone deserves someone, who can support them, who can be by their side and give them some bits of advice, to keep them going. But destiny said, no, and I needed to move forward. My life was a never-ending circle, I always found someone who I trusted but eventually, they just treated me like I was some garbage. In the end, I was always alone, being left alone with my bag, to go somewhere else.

The next few weeks were all about painting. When I felt down, I always escaped into painting. At first, I was just staring into the white canvas in the building where the painting courses were held, I wanted to paint, but I didn't feel anything at all. I thought I was going to paint all the existing canvases in the world based on the emotions that I felt. But, when I found myself sitting in front of a big white canvas, I felt empty. I felt like I was there but at the same time, my mind was elsewhere. As I closed my eyes, the dream that I dreamed the night when Hongjoong collapsed on the floor with a bullet in him, jumped in front of me. I saw his face, his smile that was rare to see. The warm breeze blew on his hair, lifting his red hair from his forehead. I saw him again in slow-motion as he turned around just to look into his eyes, he lifted his hand, inviting me to go with him. As I slowly approached him and reached my hands to take it, he disappeared.

I opened my eyes as I found myself in reality, facing with the white canvas and I saw an image on it, a face. I lifted my brush to the colors that were laid out in front of me and pushed it into the red color, just to lift it in front of the canvas. I drew one line with the red color and it was the most beautiful thing I saw in my life. The way it excelled on the white canvas fascinated me, it was a deep shade of red, that reminded me of Hongjoong's red hair, but then the blood that was all over the place that night. I kept drawing on the canvas, tracing the brush in shapes, switching between colors as my mind finally felt at ease. I never felt more calmer than now, as I didn't even realize what I was painting. I closed the world out and continued to paint the picture I was imagining in my head. Who knows how much time went by, I didn't want to stop for even a moment, as I was desperate to finish this work, the work that brought me peace, that calmed my racing thoughts, that made me feel like I wasn't alone. I painted the last remaining white spot on the canvas with black and then I put my brush down, just to see the outcome. I inhaled through my mouth deeply, as I felt this was the first time I breathed through the whole painting.

The outcome was nothing compared to my recent paintings. It wasn't some random colors mixed, that had no shape at all. It showed a scene, a scene that I saw with my own eyes. And it was the night I met with him. The background was all black, with different shades and a figure was leaning against the black wall, his right leg propped up to the wall, the cigarette lazily hanging from his pierced thin lips. His red hair was all wet from the rain that fell on him, it was pushed back with a black sunglass. The red dye was leaving red strings on his face, on his veiny neck. His black clothes were all soaked, and still, he was staring at me with eyes that screamed understanding, that was full of worry.

I never painted things like these, things that made sense, well not for others. It made me believe that Hongjoong started something in me, that I had never imagined I had.

The doorbell suddenly rang just after I arrived home after a tiring day at work. I changed into comfortable clothes, wearing a black hoodie and grey sweatpants. I wanted to make some dinner for myself when I heard the sound of the doorbell. I frowned, I really didn't know anyone here, maybe the neighbor came to welcome me.

I went to the door a little hesitantly, then unlocked it and when I opened it, I froze. It was Hoshi, my ex, glaring at me with his typical sharp eyes, that always reminded me of a tiger. His platinum blonde hair was always shaped perfectly, it was similar to a buzz cut, two straight strings falling close to his eyes, which made his gaze and features even sharper. He was always wearing punk clothes, with a lot of silver accessories.

"What are you doing here?" I asked when I finally found my voice. I needed all my confidence.

"Hi, baby." He smirked at me and just pushed me away to get into the apartment, letting himself inside.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Hoshi?" I was amazed by his behavior, he acted casually, went to my kitchen, poured some water for himself, making himself at home.

"Can't I just see my girl?" He turned and leaned against the counter with the glass of water, eyeing me up and down like a predator.

"Fuck you Hoshi! Don't tell me bullshit. Just tell me why are you here!" I lifted my voice up, it sounded angrier as I couldn't believe this man.

"Woah, easy, girl." He put the glass on the counter, just to come closer to where I was standing. "I just came to apologize." He reached his hands towards my waist, but I immediately stepped away from him. I saw that he needed to hold back himself from doing something wrong at that moment. "Okay." He lifted his hands to the air. "I just wanted to say that I feel bad about how I behaved at the club, you disappeared, Y/N. I didn't know where have you gone." His voice came out a little trembled, and his eyes were full of worry, but I knew it was just an act, an act so I will go back to him. I didn't say anything, but he didn't even let me when he continued.

"But I found out you were with that fucking red-haired shorty." His features suddenly changed from worried to angry. I had never seen him like this, it scared me.

He slowly came closer to me, just like a tiger that approached its prey. "Had fun fucking around with the Captain?" He looked like a psycho as he asked.

My heart rate picked up as I stepped back, just until my back hit the wall behind me. "How do you know him?"

As he was inches apart from me, he slowly reached his right hand towards my chest and traced his fingers on my skin, up to my neck, his gaze on his fingers. My chest was rising as shivers ran through my body, but these weren't the good types of shivers, it was because I felt terrified.

"Oh, you don't know a lot, babe." His fingers slowly traced up to my jaw and cheekbones. All I wanted to do was to run away from him. I felt disgusted, but he caged me against the wall, I had no chance.

"Then tell me." My voice came out rough, as I wanted to convince him I wasn't afraid of him.

"Well, that little redhead, is a fucking mafia leader. I didn't know you were into mafia gangs." He stepped away from me, as I finally could let out a sigh. "Stupid, Hoshi." He hit his forehead, with a psychotic smile. "If I would've known, I would've told you that I'm a mafia leader as well. Then you wouldn’t have run away." He approached me again, pushing me up against the wall. His face was inches apart from mine. I couldn't believe what he said. There was no fucking way I managed to catch both the town's mafia leaders. What happened with my life?

I scoffed at that, it was a joke. "You? As a mafia leader, you are funny Hoshi." I laughed into his face, as he got more annoyed.

"Did you have fun, when I sent my gang to threaten you so you will tell them where that fucker is?" He whispered it close to my face, his fingers crawling around my throat and squeezing it. My eyes rounded immediately, as my hands automatically tried to tear his hands off. "You had to fuck my only enemy that existed? I hate him, he destroyed my life, he took everything away." He hissed through his teeth.

"I'm asking again, nicely, Y/N. Where - is - he?" He squeezed his fingers more around my throat, as tears fell on my face, blurring my vision.

"Wh-where is that H-Hoshi I loved…" My voice came out weak, as I slowly saw black dots in my vision that were already blurred.

"He never existed." And with that, he squeezed my throat harder, as I was in desperate need of air, but it never came.

I was on the verge of fainting when sudden noises came from the staircase. The door was suddenly slammed open with a loud thump, all I could hear was footsteps, and my vision went black.

Hoshi's hands were gone from my throat, and I fell to the ground, barely conscious. I heard loud noises that my brain couldn't comprehend, glass breaking, shouting and when I opened my eyes weakly, I saw red. My vision was blurry, but when it cleared out I saw him and I knew I was safe.

He was holding me in his warm arms on the floor, my body was shaking from the lack of oxygen and the overwhelming emotions. He hugged me, as I buried my face into his chest, inhaling his peaceful scent, which always calmed me down. He traced my back up and down and pecked the top of my head, my forehead.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart for leaving you alone." His voice seemed like he was on the verge of breaking.

I slowly lifted my head up to look into his eyes, and I met with two eyes full of regretful tears. My tears started to flow down my face at that, as I started sobbing.

"Please, forgive me." He cupped my cheeks and wiped my tears away with his thumb. "Shh, don't cry please because my heart breaks. You are my heart, Y/N." He leaned his forehead against mine. I closed my eyes and breathed in and out, just to get myself together. This man in front of me, who was only a stranger to me, in a short time became the most important person in my life.

"Don't you ever dare, leaving me." I whispered after a few seconds that felt like ages.

He smiled in relief, his smile looked exactly like in my dream, his lips curved up, and his nose scrunched. "I am never going to leave you, sweetheart."

He slowly reached his hands under my knees, just to lift me from the ground, my hand immediately curled around his neck, as he brought me to the bedroom and carefully took me down to the bed. He crawled next to me as we were both on our sides, facing each other. He reached his hand towards my face and caressed it as if we were just looking at each other.

"This time that I spent without you was hell." he tugged my hair behind my ear as he said. "I realized I can't live without you, Y/N. I never felt like this before. I got scared when those bastards attacked you, and I never felt this scared before in my life. I thought if I keep you away from me they won't hurt you. Please, forgive me." Tears started to appear in his eyes, that screamed regret.

I took his hand from my face and lifted it to my mouth, to carefully peck his palm. "It's okay, Hongjoong, I get why you did it. But you could've at least told me who you were." I looked at him weakly, as I felt more and more tired.

"I know." He scooted closer to me, holding my waist as he pulled me closer to him. "I was just terrified if you find out, you will run away from me." He said with a low voice, leaning his forehead against mine.

"I never would've run away, don't you remember how many times I stitched you up?" I smiled at him.

He chuckled at that sweetly. "Yeah, that would've been enough reason for you to run. But for some reason, you didn't." He frowned at that.

"I just couldn't leave you, even tho you acted weird all the time, I felt like I needed to be by your side." I wanted to tell him that I was going to be by his side forever.

"I want you to be by my side, sweetheart. I never felt more at ease than I was when you were with me." His lisp was inches apart from mine, as he whispered. "Being with me is going to be dangerous, but I'm going to do everything to protect you." He said as he pressed his lips against mine, capturing it as I could slip through his holding. His fingers reached to my neck, to the back of my nape just to run his fingers through my hair, pulling me impossibly close to him. I kissed him back desperate, with passion I never felt in my life. I never wanted to break the kiss, that tasted like happiness, that whispered good promises for the future.

2 months later

"I want to show you something." Hongjoong hugged me from behind on the balcony where I was standing with a coffee mug in my hands. His hands crawled around my waist pulling me close to his chest, his head on my shoulder as we both were looking down to the busy town from his penthouse.

"What?" I asked with a genuine smile.

He pecked my neck sweetly before turning me around and taking my hands. "Come I'll show it to you." He was smiling at me like he seemed the happiest and most excited man on earth.

When we were in his black Maserati and I looked at him while driving, I could see that his smile never disappeared he was so excited for some reason and I started to get nervous as hell. After a fifteen-minute drive, we arrived somewhere. I didn't know about this side of the city. The streets were very artistic, with a lot of graffiti on some random walls, and artists were standing on the streets singing or painting. I looked around curious as I stepped out of the car. Hongjoong rounded the car and took my hand.

"Where are we Hongjoong?" I looked at him with a frown.

He just smiled at me, his perfect-white teeth showing. "I have to blindfold you, sweetheart. I don't want to expose the surprise." He took a silk blindfold from his pocket and chuckled as he saw my confused face.

"Just trust me, love." His voice came out low as he pecked my lips sweetly and blindfolded me.

He was leading me around, as I couldn't see anything. We went through a door, and the street's noise faded away. Our footsteps were echoing on the strange floor as we walked inside. Suddenly Hongjoong stopped me, as he turned me to face him. He reached his hands to unfold the silk material, as it slowly fell on the floor. My eyes followed how it fell on the floor, which was made out of brown marble. Then my gaze lifted, just look around where we were. My mouth fell open, it was a big and empty hall with big windows, where the light came inside, lighting the emptiness inside. The walls were all white, the ceiling was meters away from us, and it was huge.

"Why are we here?" I asked after my gaze fell on Hongjoong, who was looking at me the whole time.

He stepped closer to me, to hold my waist and pull me closer to him. His face was inches away. "This is your gallery where you can exhibit your paintings." He said with an excited smile, waiting for my reaction.

I pressed my hands to my mouth, my eyes rounded unbelievably "No way." Tears appeared in my eyes.

"Yes way, sweetheart." Hongjoong giggled seeing my reaction. "I want you to show the world how talented you are." He caressed my cheeks as he said with a sweet and proud look on his face.

I couldn't believe this. "Hongjoong…" tears started to fall to my cheeks, as I started to jump in excitement just to jump on Hongjoong who was taken aback by my sudden movement, but he caught me in time. He lifted me to spin us around as we both chuckled like two teenagers.

"Thank you so much Hongjoong." I whispered to his ear when he took me down and I buried my face to his chest. "I couldn't be grateful enough for making my dreams come true." I lifted my head to face him.

He was looking down at me with the proudest smile. "I'm happy I can be by your side while you achieve your dreams." He cupped my face and pecked my lips as I giggled.

"I love you, Hongjoong." I said looking up at him with teary eyes, as I never felt happier in my life.

"I love you more, sweetheart." And with that, he kissed me passionately like never before, his lips moved against mine slowly, as we were standing in the gallery that was going to hold all the emotions I felt in the past years, so I could finally get over them. And that one portrayal of Kim Hongjoong, that promised me a good future by his side. The portrayal that showed the first time I saw him, the first time I fell in love with him, on the night we met.

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chayscribbles · 3 months

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chayscribbles’ monthly writing update ☆ january 2024

☆ STATISTICS.

projects worked on: The Gemini Heist. also i glanced at Andromeda Rogue but gave up on that real quick

proudest accomplishment: i uhhh drew some really cool gemini heist aus

books read: The Long Way to a Small and Angry Planet by Becky Chambers; The Blighted Stars by Megan E O'Keefe; System Collapse (Murderbot Diaries #7) by Martha Wells. i got the first one for christmas and I CANNOT RECOMMEND IT ENOUGH. the other too were really good too.

☆ GENERAL COMMENTS.

hi! i have been very scarce from writeblr lately (and that's probably not gonna change soon) but i am alive and still creating! i mostly drew this month tbh but i did get some writing in, surprisingly!

you may or may not have noticed, but i'm no longer putting my wordcount in these updates. i've realized it's just not a valid metric for me to be measuring my progress. like, just because i haven't written any words in my draft doesn't mean i didn't make progress on my wip in other ways. and it doesn't make sense to use it for things like editing or revising, where words get cut all the time.

in wip news: i'm still reaaaally struggling to edit andromeda rogue, and after tinkering with it a bit at the beginning of the month, i made myself put it aside until february. which is... tomorrow. we'll see how that goes.

in the meantime i got some progress on gemini heist!

more specific wip-related comments + featured excerpt below.

☆ COMMENTS: THE GEMINI HEIST (draft 0)

this has got to be the messiest drafts i've ever written. my first drafts are usually somewhat clean, but this? it's placeholder city in here, i've skipped writing any kind of description, there are plot holes that i only realized existed later but forced myself to ignore for now in favour of moving forward. this is fine.

i'm not going to lie... i still don't have most of the heist figured out. i'm a plantser but i've been pantsing a lot more than planning and it feels like i'm flying blind and i'm gonna crash into a wall at any moment. this is totally fine.

not to mention, a ship i did not expect has emerged and punched me in the face, and since i have little self control, everything is even more messy, especially between these characters, and i have no clue how the hell i'm gonna resolve any of this. everything is fine. (and no, i'm not saying who is involved, but at least [REDACTED] has two hands. sorta.)

i'm having fun, though. that's what matters, right?

☆ FEATURED EXCERPT.

since i haven't really posted any writing in a hot minute, here's a slightly longer, VERY gay excerpt 😏 for context, this is right before the girls are set to crash a coronation party, and Gabi has asked Euna to help with her makeup 😌

“Thank you,” Gabi said, beginning to stand. “It’s not done,” Euna protested, taking her wrist to pull her back down. “I still have to do your lips.” “Oh,” Gabi said, settling back onto the bunk. She squirmed in place. “It’s not that important— I don’t want to take up any more of your time—” “It won’t take long,” Euna promised, taking out a tube of shimmering pink lipstick. She brought her other hand up to Gabi’s face, pausing right before touching her. “May I?” Gabi nodded, her neck bobbing slightly as she swallowed. Euna gently cupped Gabi’s chin and drew her closer so she could see better, uncapping the tube with her teeth and spitting it out onto the bunk. Gabi sucked in an audible breath as Euna pressed the lipstick against her top lip and carefully smeared colour and glitter from one side to the other. Her hand slowed as it dragged the stick in the opposite direction along Gabi’s bottom lip, coming to a complete stop when she reached the end. For a moment, she stayed frozen in place, holding the lipstick to the corner of Gabi’s mouth, her other palm pressed against Gabi’s warm cheek, feeling her racing pulse at the tips of her fingers. “Is… is something wrong?” Gabi asked in a whisper, barely moving her lips. Euna quickly withdrew both her hands from Gabi’s face. “No,” she said, groping the covers around her to retrieve the cap. “Just, ah, making sure I’d done it correctly.”

☆ TAGLISTS. let me know if you want to be added/removed to any of them.

general taglist:

@nicola-writes @dgwriteblr @the-orangeauthor @onomatopiya @quilloftheclouds @ashen-crest @writeblrfantasy @celestepens @stardustspiral @pepperdee @extra-magichours @avi-why @lefttigerobservation @chazzawrites @bardolatrycore @innocentlymacabre

gemini heist taglist:

@florraisons @akindofmagictoo @cream-and-tea @nicola-writes @memento-morri-writes @antique-symbolism @rose-bookblood @afoolandathief @pepperdee @avi-why @zonnemaagd @chazzawrites @analogued @enchanted-lightning-aes @innocentlymacabre @kahvilahuhut @celestepens @cilly-the-writer @extra-magichours @onomatopiya @outpost51

#chayscribbles writing update #wip gemini heist

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hekateinhell · 1 year

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Some people have asked for Captive Prince thoughts and I'm waiting until I finish the trilogy, but in the meantime, I did find the thread where I was livereacting my way through the first few chapters of Book 1 to my friends. And naturally, I fell into the trap of relating everything back to VC (it is what it is).

Every bit as coherent as you'd expect from me in a chat, RIP my besties.*

Cut for spoilers and also...

“We hear that your Prince,’ said Lady Jokaste, ‘keeps his own harem.” RIGHT OUT THE GATE

“This slave was more like a wild animal, nothing like the twenty-four tame kittens who lined the hall.” EXCUSE ME... tame kittens 🥹🥹

THE PRINCE ENJOYS A CHALLENGE LMAO I YELLED also me waiting for Nicaise so I can immediately get sad 🫠🫠🫠🫠

YOU HIT LIKE A MILK-FED CATAMITE

I'M WHEEZING I'm so scandalized what is happening

“I’m not desperate enough that I need to soil myself with filth,’ said Laurent.” LAURENT PLEASE it's giving Lestat tbh

“What’s your name, sweetheart?’ said Laurent, not quite pleasantly.” LMFAO OMGGG THE MOUTH ON LAURENT WHO TF IS THIS GUY 💀

“I imagine it would be a lot like lying down with a poisonous snake” Lestat on Armand TVL era

HE'S MAKING HIM CRAWL (imagine Armand doing that to Lestat 🥵)

mfw they're preparing him lmaooo okay laurent get it

“You really,’ said Laurent, ‘have no idea how happy that idea makes me. It’s perfect: a man who holds you down while he fucks you, with a cock like a bottle, and a beard like my uncle’s." I CAN'T... WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO WITH THIS?? 😭

“Laurent might talk like he’d been raised on the floor of a brothel” okay but this is not the EXACT SHIT Lestat would say about Armand

HOLD UP DAMEN KILLED THE BROTHER??? CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS PLEASE?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“You look like a whore.’ The soft words barely stirred the air by Damen’s ear, inaudible to anyone else. Laurent murmured: ‘Filthy painted slut. Did you spread for my uncle the way you did for Kastor?”

You already know I'm taking dialogue notes for myself... filthy painted slut and thank you 😌

NICAISE!!! LMFAO HE JUST SPIT IN THAT MAN'S FACE LIKE A FERAL KITTEN I LOVE HIM!!!!! The bell!!!!!!!!!!! 🥹

“On the other hand, the aloof, untouched Laurent was at this moment delivering a precise treatise on cocksucking.” asjdksadjsask incredible

*the most salacious commentary has been edited or removed altogether for obvious reasons and will probably appear later in a VC porn drabble

#it's really just a highlight reel (and i was a bit high too which i think added to the experience)#i'm never going to recover from milk-fed catamite as an insult istg #captive prince

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enchanting-grom-fright · 9 days

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ok i’ll shut up just one more rant

bcs i need to vent abt this lol 😭😭

idk guys idfk i’m just absolutely fucking exhausted

i was just watching smthing, like smthing completely unrelated, and all of a sudden everything just came back to me, like completely exactly like i was there. which like at this point i’m used to i can typically brush it off, but this was one of the times where it really stuck with me. and then after that when i was jolted back to reality (and after i actually then realized i was just alone and in my bedroom) i was super just like out of it. emotionally i felt no different or safer than before and that was all i could think just that in the moment panic and feeling like ur gasping for a way out but there isn’t one and that just makes it worse and everytime i closed my eyes that’s all i could envision and i could almost feel it it felt like i was feeling it and i was also just like hysterically whispering to myself just stop like nonstop repeatedly the entire time and like idek it was odd. and like i’m used to it it’s not like this is new so i tried i really tried to calm myself down i was sat there for so long but nothing works so i ended up relapsing again after like three days but i just don’t know what else to do genuinely like i didn’t fucking prompt that and in the moment it never seems like it’s going to end and u really can’t predict when it is and it’s just everything and it’s horrible i never want to think abt it again it makes me want to fucking throw up and it’s so lonely idek why and it feels like i’m suffocating or not even that really it feels like i’m like inhaling water or smthing and i need to find some other way to pour ur out of me so i can breathe again

but anyways idk that’s not even really a noteable experience but also it was also so much worse this time bcs of my sensory issues being sm worse than normal today for wtvr reason and also my routine has been disrupted multiple times today so like today hasn’t even be bad itself but i’ve just been barely holding myself together anyways bcs of those things. i hate saying that though bcs like just in general i hate talking abt stuff related to autism bcs like that just affects so much of my daily life that i just don’t talk abt to the extent that if i were to mention it more casually i always feel like ppl r going to either think i’m for some reason like faking it bcs i seem ‘more autistic’ or they’re just going to think i’m just weird or smthing along those lines so i just don’t. but it gets to tiring bcs in addition to the shit that i need to deal with anyways i also need to spend effort trying to mask it and then that’s just making the issues worse which makes masking harder which makes the issues worse and i have like one and a half ppl i feel comfortable being a bit more myself around and that’s bcs one of them seems to like personally understand it and the other i do to an extent just bcs i do trust them a lot. but like how am i supposed to explain that like literally today i was going to hang out with my friends and i was excited for it but something came up where i wouldn’t be able to have a routine so then i had to just not go at all but like how do i even explain that like idek why exactly i’m like that myself or how do i explain that yea i have no clue what u just said bcs the lights r too bright so now i’ve just lost the ability to make sense of english when i can barely speak. idk guys tbh i forget where i was even going with this i’m probably just fucking complaining

i just want to feel normal though i hate feeling like this i hate being so dramatic that somehow the thing mentioned at first just randomly happens and i hate feeling so different from almost everyone and i hate feeling like i have nothing else to do and i just fucking hate myself ig

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genderkoolaid · 2 years

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Are we sharing examples or transandrophobia? I want to share especially as an autistic trans man and how that intersect. Tw for like mentions of r@pe but no detail. These specific incidents actually run through my mind almost constantly. I came out for the FIRST time when I was 16: -people refused to use the name I had chosen despite me pointing out that's stupid because out cis male friend had changed his name just because he didn't like it and all I was doing was dropping one letter

-my best friend told me that if I slept with a girl who thought I was a "real" man and after she found out I was trans I would have been a rapist for consensually going down on a girl who "thought I was a real man"

-I had a random girl in my class "ask if my ex bf knew I really had a dick" when I said I was trans

-my parents said "no matter what, you'll always be our little girl"

So, I went back into the closet for the most part. I went by She/They and was always like "im not a girl" but people pretty much brushed me off and I didn't pursue transition bc I was afraid of how people would treat me. I came out AGAIN at 21, this time really putting my foot down that I AM MALE.

-My aunt started to refer to my info dumping as "mansplaining" so I stopped sharing my interests with her

-People began to actively misgender me, whereas before some people would at least try to use they as well as she, I only get called she now and never they

-I started to get harassed in public for holding my partner's hand even tho we're both trans

-People really go out of their way to gender me now. "When I was a girl" nobody ever ma'amed me. NEVER, ever.

-People like to assume I'm mentally ill for being trans or that someone must have pushed me to be trans. Their pea brains implode when I say actually I really struggled to come out in the face of everyone telling me not to and I'm trans because I realized I'd die from trying to harm myself if I didn't accept who I already am

-I got sent a lot of death threats and rape threats. A lot. Mostly online, of course, but it really took me aback the negative reaction I had from the WLW spaces I was in when I said I was leaving because, well, I'm not a woman. Crypto terfs, man.

-My uncle said to me, and I quote "Keep this trans shit away from your grandmother, she has enough to deal with" I asked him what he expected me to do when I grew facial hair and muscles and lost my tits. He didn't answer, he probably didn't care.

-My aunt, who claimed to be the most accepting, still misgenders me and acts personally offended when I tell her she's not progressive for doing the bare minimum to show me respect, and not even consistently.

-My aunt ALSO told me I was the reason SHE wasnt getting HRT for her early menopause because "T is gonna make you angry and I don't want to be around that" (T made me calmer and less likely to EXPRESS my anger, actually. I have to find different ways to let it out now bc I kinda just CANT feel angry or sad the same way anymore)

-None of my family has called me to ask me how I'm doing since i came out. They all kinda avoid talking to me, but won't say it, I've noticed though.

-My partner's mom told me she wanted me to go to therapy. I said I'd go for my PTSD as it was causing problems between her and I, she said "No, I want you to go for 'this'" Meaning, she wanted me to go to therapy for being trans. My partner got upset at this and said that absolutely would not be happening because being trans isnt a mental illness

-cis people look at me in TERROR when they misgender me, like they're waiting for me to freak out at them or physically assault them. It actually really hurts my feelings tbh, out of everything those moments sting the most. People I don't even know very well assuming the worst of me for being trans.

Idk just the pure hatred people have towards transmascs and then for people withing our own communities to act like these things don't happen on the daily and don't drive us to have among the highest suicide rates out of any other demographic... It hurts. It really hurts, I want to cry over it and then still this little voice in my head, the voice THEY put there, says to me "Boys don't cry. if you show the slightest sign that these things hurt you, they won't take you seriously"

Thank you for sharing your experiences.

#m.#ask box #experiences with transandrophobia #rape tw

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sparksnevadas · 1 year

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Oh my god I’m so normal about this chapter Sparks I am soooooooooooo normal. Incredibly normal. Oh my god. Look at me I’m so normal. The way you used the flashbacks to slip back and forth between them talking about their plan and what really happened was SO good it’s one of my favorite things in writing. AUGH.

And also just. KERALIS! DOC! AUGH. Their powers are so COOL and I love them so much. You got their voices so well. Keralis is such a Guy. The SHADOWS are so COOL augh. And the METAL form Doc augh yes yes yes. They are so. You got em in one.

Also I have to say it again, so sorry, but why is Scar holding Doc hot what did you put in the water dearest SparksNevadas.

And then Mumbo and Grian having to remember to use their code names over their real names is so. The way Grian almost slips up. The way him and Mumbo work to get back to Scar but Mumbo is more worried about Grian in the moment. They make me WEAK. GOD.

Keralis calling Grian chicken nugget is absolutely sending me. Fyi. Oh my god that’s so funny. I love your keralis so much. And Doc being Ducky I just. Keralisisms give me life and you write them SO well.

And the way everyone goes back to their weird semi-friendly but only sort of rivalry they have when Grian passes out is so interesting to me. The dynamic is everything. The fact that Doc is more worried about the party being ruined than anything. AUGH.

Scar calling Doc ‘Doctor Hothead’ is ALSO hilarious im. Head in hands its just so funny. Especially considering he’s trying to negotiate an alliance I think it really speaks to Scar’s charm as a person that he gets away with that nickname in this scene tbh. I just. It’s so cool to see Scar be so in control and then to lose that control when Keralis revealed that little scrap of paper. THEY’RE BROTHERS. AUGH. CUB. AUGH. AND THE FACT THAT RENS THERE TOO WHAT IF I JUST FLOATED DOWN A RIVER AUUUUUUUUGH! AND MUMBO DOESN’T GET WHY THE BROTHER THING IS SUCH A BIG DEAL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH WHAT IF I SCREAMED!!!! ITS!!!! THE WAY YOU WRITE IT IS SO GOOD I LOVE IT SO MUCH

The description of Scar’s office is fascinating too – it paints such a picture of him as a character. How he has all the stuff about him and mayor but then he has those two honest photos of cub on the wall its. He’s painting a certain picture of himself but then also like, displaying this honest relationship he has w cub as his brother im. AUGH. AGONY.

AND THEN THE SCARIAN KISS. The way it happened. The way Grian just basically said fuck it and went for it im. THEY. AUGH. AGONY BUT LIKE GOOD AGONY. Clawing at the walls of my enclosure I have waited so long and I need everyone to know that SPARKS MANAGED NOT TO LET IT SLIP OUT AT ALL. THEY KEPT THAT COMPLETELY A SURPRISE. THAT’S SO GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD. AAAAAUGH ITS SO SWEET AND SOFT AND I CAN JUST SEE IT IN MY MINDS EYE AND IT. ITS EVERYTHING IVE HOPED FOR FROM THE MOMENT I STARTED READING GIHASM. AUGGGGH. IM IN LOVE WITH THIS CH GOOD CH!!!!

oh my god belle this is a whole essay and a half, dude,,, (<3)

you dont need to be normal about the chapter. please be abnormal with me,,

that little experimental flashback and such was decided very last minute! i thought it was too soon to reveal ren last chapter where it was supposed to go, and honestly, good decision methinks. :) I liked having doc be just a big metal guy. thought about giving him a redstone power like others but i think its neat if his whole arm was partially constructed by his own power. a metal mobility aid :) I DIDNT THINK THAT IT WAS--- I AM SPRAYING YOU WITH WATER!!!

they love each other SO much. i like making all the characters feel human so i give them little quirks and slip ups-- something im so worried about myself doing irl that i barely speak lmao. of course its hard to switch to a new name when you still use the old name in private. and of course, mumbo isnt usually on the scene for fights, and he's never really seen grian fight too much, so he doesnt really get it that grians bleeding and continuing to fight. im rambling, anyways--

the thing about keralis is that he says the weirdest things. even trying to write him, he'd still manage to say weirder things in videos. he's such a Guy

Doc immediately calls a time out basically. he sighs and lets them wash off grians wings, and then keralis leads them to his office where hes been stewing about his bruised pride. he's a silly wet cat

who knew such a big persona could be brought down with a piece of paper smaller than a finger?

he loves his brother. if theres anything you should knoow about scar, is that cub is his pride. i mean. he got the city to fund a statue of them, of course he loves him. he loves cub so so so much for what theyve been through. he cant wait to annoy him over board game night and never complain about his cooking ever again.

I WANTED IT TO BE A SURPRISE!!! :D i kept telling everyone they were going to come kill me after the chapter (mostly, yknow, about the cub thing) but in the back of my head i was just >:3c and wait until you get to that last scene, my pretties

i mean, ash @polyamquackity was live reacting to me in the dms and i KNEW exactly when they got to it because he just texted

which was exactly the reaction i wanted everyone to have :) Got a lot less dts (/friendly) than i was expecting though!

#its belle!#talking to friends #gihasm

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blissfullyapillow · 2 months

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Hey I'm kinda new to your blog and I'm requesting a matchup (if you don't mind, that is)!!

First, my personality. I would say that I'm a pretty soft-spoken person and that kinda messed with my self-esteem tbh(´ . .̫ . `). That's probably because when quarantine happened I just didn't talk much ('cause who else am I supposed to talk to? People who is not my family? No way! My fear of people finding me cringe will haunt my every interaction with another human being!!) and I guess my vocal cords didn't develop as much as it could've and made my voice really quiet and when I record myself saying anything and listen, I am just so embarrassed because people really hear that come out of my mouth??? Because of that, I've been super insecure about my voice and barely spoke, even in the comfort of my own home! But I've been slowly coming out of my shell when we were allowed to go back to school. I was not thrilled about this and my hands were fr shaking. And I think when I arrived at school, I was the last one to come in (but I wasn't late though), so I had no choice but to sit in the first empty seat I found. I felt kinda sick but I brushed it off as first-day-of-school nerves but when we were being arranged in our assigned seats, I threw up. Not in the classroom, the bathroom, but since the stall was locked for some reason; I had to throw up in the sink.

So yeah, not a very good first impression to your new classmates. And since then, I became EVEN MORE quiet because I was so embarrassed that I threw up on my first day (;ŏ﹏ŏ). I think I was going a bit off topic so let's continue where we left off!! Anyways, once we're friends and I feel comfortable with you, I will be so affectionate; I.e, hugging you, holding hands with you, complimenting you etc...

But I'm not always like this with all my friends. My male friends, for example, are exempt from my affectionate nature as I feel like I'm not that close to them for me to be touching them like that. All I would allow myself to do to them are: shaking them by the shoulders (but not too hard), light-hearted slaps, and stuff like that.

I don't really have a gender preference on who I find attractive, but I think I find myself gravitate—ughhh I cringed when I typed that but I can't think of any words that fit (ᗒᗩᗕ)— more on males so I guess thats my preference??

And as for my likes and dislikes;

Reading, but on my own accord!! I absolutely HATE it when I feel like its an obligation and not something I do for fun or when someone tries to make me read a book I have no interest in and pressure me into reading it and is suprised when I say I don't like it!!! But there is one time when someone forcing me to read a book made me discover an absolute gem!! I would read it so many times and I would still be giddy when plot twists occur(≧▽≦).

I LOVE saba bananas!!!! (They taste good when their fried😋.) My favorite banana afternoon snacks (or merienda, as we call it) are turon and banana cue!!

I also like chocolate cake!! Or any chocolate flavored food hehe^_^.

I also like either strawberry or grape flavor candy

I dislike math(눈‸눈). There are times when I would find math at least tolerable but those are fleeting moments I'm afraid😔.

As for qualities I look for in a partner, I would want a partner that that has long hair. I just find them to be super cool and attractive!! And if they don't have long hair, that's fine!! I can still put hairclips on them(＾∇＾)ﾉ♪. And I'd fall so hard if their willing to financially support means spoil me🤭. I like it when people give me gifts, so perhaps a partner where their love languages is gift giving, words of affirmation because I'm insecure about my looks(＠_＠;) and MONEY(✯ᴗ✯)!! All joke aside, money is not the only thing I look for in a partner, idc if their middle class as long as they radiate golden retriever vibes, I. Am. HOOKED. Ahem, let's continue, I like people who make me feel safe with them. The type of person that, even when we're arguing and we're shouting our lungs out with each other, I would never have to fear them losing their cool and beating me black and blue (wow that escalated quickly).

And for chr I don't want to be paired with:

First: MAHITO. I DESPISE him, absolutely abhor him and his very existence. I can't even.

Second: Kenjaku. It's not fair!! Why does he got to have the fine specimen of a man that is Jin Itadori and not me😭😭

Third: Thirteen. I don't really have anything against her; I think she's very pretty but I haven't reached the lesson when she first appears and since I don't really like spoilers much, I don't have a grasp on her personality and that's pretty much it.

Fourth: Raphael same reason as thirteen

Fifth: Mephistopheles same reason as thirteen and Raphael.

And thats all!! If you decide to not do this match up, that's fine!! Don't pressure yourself (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ!!

Can I be " 🌸🎀 " anon? Because I don't think this will be the last time I visit your blog ♡(´ε｀ )

Notes: 🌸🎀 anon you’re so cute with how you speak and all your emojis and jemoticons haha. I relate to feeling quiet and shy, especially in school. It's the worst when things that we perceive as embarrassing happen and others witness it. I hope things are better for you and you have a group of friends that feel like family :>

Masterlist

°˖➴♛ ₊˚⊹⋆ ♡

I match you with: Yuta Okkotsu

°˖➴♛ ₊˚⊹⋆ ♡

Yuta immediately stood out to me as a your choice when you mentioned you love radiating golden retriever energy in a partner haha. Yuta is definitely that kind of guy.

I feel like you would meet Yuta at the worst possible moment, like something embarrassing happened yet when he sees you he’s non-judgmental and ready to help. He wouldn’t be able to stop himself from admiring how pretty you look either.

Just say the word and Yuta will happily get you whatever you want. Knowing he’s a distant relative of the Gojo clan, I headcanon he isn’t someone short on money, and he’s a very strong jujutsu sorcerer.

Yuta is definitely the kind of guy who would want to spoil his partner and just spend time with them. He’s never short on words of affirmation, and when he recognizes your affinity for gifts he’ll make sure he buys anything that catches his eye and he knows you’d like.

Yuta is a kind-hearted individual, so he’d never do anything rash when you two are arguing. If anything, he’s calm and willing to hear your side and come to a compromise between the two of you.

Yuta will bring you saba bananas whenever you have a bad day, accompanied by anything chocolate he can find to cheer you up! One of his favorite things to do with you is indulge in a chocolate cake together late in the evening, as you two discuss how your day went and catch up on any tea (haha).

If you asked he’d willingly do your math for you, or even help you to understand it and do it yourself if that’s something you’d prefer.

Yuta will not hesitate to put someone in their place if they’re being rude to you or making you feel bad. He’s your protective boyfriend without the toxic traits; he doesn’t care who you hang out with or where as long as he knows you’re safe with that person and they also have your best interests at heart.

He genuinely wants the best for you, for you to be the best version of yourself, and he knows you feel the same way! You two would honestly be a power couple and emulate what true and mutual pure love looks like.

Yuta may not read much but if someone recommends him a book he’d think you’d enjoy, he’ll suggest it to you, but no pressure! He may teasingly push it a little but nothing that’d turn you off from reading the book of your own accord. \

Overall Yuta will happily be your golden retriever boyfriend who loves to spoil you until you’re sick of him, if that’s even possible.

ꉂ`𖦹.〃୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ

After a long day, you open your door and drag your weary body into your comfortable abode. Yuta’s face visibly lights up when he hears you return, having finished his mission early to see you as soon as possible.

He stands, watching as you sluggishly put away your things. You drag yourself to your bathroom, only to be met with a prepared bath. You jump when something’s thrown into the clear water.

As colors swirl in the tub, you turn to see Yuta’s smiling face behind you. “When you were texting me earlier, I picked up on your subtle distress. Just relax. When you’re done, join me! I brought your favorite…” He turns to leave; he intends to give you privacy to unwind.

“Saba bananas?”

You can hear the smile in his voice when he replies, “You know it. My beautiful partner deserves nothing but the best.” He’s ecstatic when you respond with giggles, looking forward to seeing you later so you two can indulge in a tasty snack as you talk about your day.

Dedicated to,

🌸🎀 anon ∿. // ಇ.݁˖ . ݁

#pillow'slovelyanon's<3

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coconutcows · 8 months

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I do not want to come across as rude to you. But I've been thinking of your #personals, #vents etc. I am only sending this for your well being and to know I am here.

you should not be holding out this hope you have. You should be living your life, I'm sure this person is doing just that and you should be as well. Holding out hope only hurts you more in the end

Hello there anon, I want to jokingly ask if you’re my previous partner using the anon feature to try to gently let me know they’ve decided it’s 100% over but don’t want to tell me directly because they don’t want to hurt/upset me and/or are ready to move on themselves but will feel bad or guilty if they do knowing im holding out hope. If you aren’t well, I appreciate you reaching out anyway because it probably took a little bit of guts.

But the thing is, holding out hope that the One Person who’s ever made me feel desired and like I was possible to love, is probably one of the least reasons keeping me from “living my life”. Holding out hope is background noise in my head tbh, except in the moments where I miss them so intensely it bubbles up, which can happen because somethings too tall for me to reach to just missing their presence because it was a comfort. The fact of the matter is no matter how I feel I can’t and don’t want to control their feelings, and only time will heal or tell. They were my first and so far only love so they’ll always have a piece of my heart

More to the point of the ask here, what’s keeping me from living my life is……I don’t Have a Life. What’s keeping me from living my life is having no money, having no license, no car. I have two friends not counting my previous partner who is my best friend, one who just had a baby she’s obsessed with and another who is engaged, too busy working, and lives in another town. There are no job opportunities here, I already took what was arguably the best one in this town a union job cleaning at a hospital which was so bad it made me start to Ingest Industrial Grade Cleaners (only my counselor knew this up until now). This is why I finally went on antidepressants. I’m pretty sure my town is just becoming a drug den full of money laundering businesses. There’s no social events that happen here, and even if I did want to “move on” I’m related to every other person in this town. And of course the biggest issue holding me back from living my life is I am Myself, but I’m not going to go on a self deprecating spiel right now.

And truthfully I am living my life, there just isn’t anything to it. I live in a shitty small town, a town where someone was just recently caught on a shop camera taking a piss out in public in broad daylight with their bare ass facing the road as close to the outside dining area they could get to this business. The biggest thing I have going on in my life is Pokémon Go and Pokémon in general. I also have my dolls I collect, which don’t make me anywhere near as happy as they used to but also don’t worry if you criticize them at all someone will come yell at you for having an opinion. My knitting which while I’m extremely good at it and people tell me how great it is no one wants to pay what I’d charge for my plushies despite my prices still being far under the actual amount of labour I put in (nurses who make $20-30 and hour who think $50 is too much for my chicken and her chick which took me days to make). And everyday I go visit at my Aunts house which is usually just gossip and talk about whose recently died about people I don’t know. Once a month I go with my Aunt, Grandmother, and Cousin to the next town over because oh yeah there’s no places to shop here either. Oh yeah and we’re pretty much just waiting on my grandfather to die at this point (I’m not getting into this because this is already far longer than I meant it to be). And sometimes I go for drives with my Mom or my Dad when he’s down.

So that’s what it is, Anon. Truthfully I am living what I have to my life, and I know they are too because I talk to them pretty much everyday. And I can’t just stop hoping or move on because of who I am and because I lack most relationship skills that aren’t “by god do everything you can to keep this relationship going”. So I am sorry for the long vent/rant here, I didn’t mean it to turn into this.

And i don’t mean this as rude but Anon? If you or anybody else has any actual advice on How to actually stop hoping, please share it. Because I never got the experience to learn how to do that

#Anon #Ask #thanks for the ask!!#and if you aren’t my prev partner please feel free to let me know #previous partner is such a stupid thing to say it sounds like I have another partner but I don’t I just can’t call them ex or friend still #even though it’s nearly been a year lol #and I don’t see any future for myself lmfao I just don’t the only thing I want is to get a dog that’s it #I don’t know anything else #long post #I just miss them I miss calling them my beloved and I miss telling them how beautiful they are #and I wonder if they miss me at all in any way #anyways even if you didn’t mean to anon this ask for me all upset and I know I’m probably going to be crying on and off all night

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sningo-prompts · 2 years

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Okay, okay hold on a sec. Think about it. Ingo getting captured by poachers would mean that he will be forced to eat out of a bowl. If he's lucky. Maybe they'll pour his food straight on the floor. And he is so hungry and getting weaker, so he needs to eat. Also haa to lick his water up every day. Ingo getting captured would break this man and I'm here for every second of it. Emmet is going to straight up murder them all.

Ok this took a moment. Had to get myself in the right head space for something like this. I hope i dont disappoint too much.

WARNING

I uhhh got carried a little away with the set up. And CURSING LOTS OF CURSING THREATS OF VIOLENCE ok making sure yall see that am i sorry for what i did Not really. It could have been worse tbh. I had a bit planned for Emmet in here but im lazy. Its 23:55 ok

They dont capture Ingo in a ball because they assume Emmet is his trainer. So they dont even try. Instead the ruffly toss him into a very small cage. Oh Now see this is why Ingo doesnt like cages. He keeps getting thrown into them. Which hurts. His scruff is so very sore. Arceus he hates being picked up by his scruff. His cage is probably around crate size. He can stand up in it and move around but its just barely too big for his to touch each side with his claws if he stood in the middle. Its cold and metal.

So Ingo tossed into a cage. He hardly has time to think before the talking starts. “Man that Emmet fucker put up one hell of a fight for this thing” “At least that dumb bitch gave us an opening.” laughter “hey give the brat some credit! Without her we wouldnt have gotten anywhere near the thing!” Great Ingo has been called a thing twice now. One of them is walking up to his cage. Which is on the floor so all Ingo can see are shins. They man bends down, a taking his cigar out of his mouth he blows the smoke into Ingos face. Of course he has a coughing fit. “Well now you be good for us and make us lots of money”. Ingo just glares at the man. From across the room one of the others pipes up “hey now dont damage this one! You know that it will sell better if its un damaged!” Signing the man puts his cigar back in his mouth and stands up “yeah yeah i know. Even if the little bastard is giving me the stink eye i wont break this one” they laugh again. Ingo though hes full panic. “Damage? Break?” Oh oh whats gonna happen to him.

Its a few hours later after the men have finished playing some sort of gambling game. The same man comes back. He has two bowls. He bends down to look Ingo in the eyes “now listen here you little shit. Im going to open the top of this here cage and you are gonna sit right there and not fucking move a single mussel. And if you even look like you plan to escape or attack me ill break for fucking legs you got it.” Ingo.exe has stopped responding. “Good” now hes opening the top Ingo doesnt dare move. The man sets in a water dish and a food bowl. Ingo feels sick. The cheapest pokemon food on the market is poured into the food dish. At least the water comes strait from a bottle. The man is reaching for Ingo oh its happening oh hes gonna get hurt oh no no. Ingo flenches away and closes his eyes bracing for the worst. The man chuckles and pets his head. “Glad to see we understand each other” once the hand is gone from Ingos face he dares to open his eyes. Just as the man closes the cage top. He doesnt dare move till the man fully leaves the room. Ok he can panic now. Hes clutching his chest. Oh hes crying. He wants to go home. Hes cold and hungry and scared. Emmet where are you please Emmet help me. He stays like that for who knows how long. Well i know its like four hours. Aka four am.

Hes done crying. Eyes long since dried up. But hes still just sitting there in the corner of his cage curled up knees to chest. Its his stomach that actually snaps him back. Hes hungry, having not eaten since breakfast the day before all this happened. He eyes the food. Hes not that hungry. He goes to sleep.

Hes awaken later by the door to the room opening. Its the man again. The only light in the room is from above. He has no idea what time it is. Its one pm. The man is doing something by the table. He hears something that sounds like gravel in a plastic cup. Oh no the man hes coming over to him. Ingo gets as far away from the “front” of the cage. Its just got a solid top and bottom rest is bared. She man kneels down again. Hes looking what feels like right into Ingos soul. How terrifying. The mans eyes move to the food and water. Ingos own gaze follows. “Tsk” Ingo snaps back to the man. Oh he doesnt look pleased. He looks angry. “Now see here you little shit. I wont have you starving to death before we sell you. You WILL eat.” Ingo just starts shaking again. This is it the mans gonna hurt him. The man opens the top Ingo once again braces for the worst. Only to open his eyes once he hears plastic sliding across metal. The man has moved the bowl to infront of Ingo. “Now eat.” … Ingo slowly with one trembling arm reaches out towards the bowl. He picks up a piece and slowly puts it in his mouth. Its bland and he hates the texture.

#sneasel ingo #transfer error au #sneasel ingo au #angst #im sorry #im so sorry #cursing #lots of cursing #liz answers #i left jasmine out but you should know i wasnt gonna have em hurt her #noooo shes too important they cant risk hurting her #but she was gonna have the oh i feel kinda bad moment when she saw how they treated ingo #not bad enough to speak up and try to stop it #no she just sits there trembling like a leaf while ingo got his ribs kicked in

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neoheros · 4 years

Text

sneaking out headcanons feat. gym 3 squad ♡ — also this is all gonna be set in an au before or without the quarantine, so don’t leave your house please!! social distancing is important and people are dying!!

kuroo tetsuro

listen LISTEN

sneaking out is terrible and you should never do it because it’s dangerous and risky

and you as the woke and understanding gen z that you are definitely respected that

but , BUT , BUUUUT !

the minute your boyfriend snapped you a photo of him in his car with him rubbing his tired eyes captioned “couldn’t sleep, dreamt of u”

your morals were OUT THE WINDOW and now it was your turn >:// !!!

kuroo: i know it’s 4 am but what’re the chances you’d hop out for a quick trip to chick-fil-a 👉👈

you, purposely taking two minutes to reply: why are you still awake

kuroo, who knows you like the back of his hand: babe don’t lie to me, it’s embarrassing for the both of us x

so you agree !! because it was kuroo, the love of your life, the man you’d simp for, and he’s paying for food so hell fricken yeah

you throw on a hoodie, lock your doors, fluff up the bed to make it look like someone was sleeping in it just in case and you gently make your way towards your window

due to personal reasons, you want to pass away

you suddenly remember why you hated sneaking out and boy — the food kuroo was buying you better be worth it

the only way you were actually gonna get down from your two story house that idiotically doesn’t have a roof ledge was if you grab onto the tv satellite that latched by the sill

from your window you see kuroo’s car parked by the trash cans near your house and he’s got his windshield down signaling at you

mfer pulled out his phone from his pocket and waved as he zooms closer to your figure and he SMILED ?

you were in a dilemma?? and he had the audacity???? the fricken audacity???

kuroo, snapping you the vid he took: babe please you’re so cute you look like a tiny gremlin

you: had me in the first half, not gonna lie

it was a MOMENT for you !! but you just say what the hell and go for it anyways because you only live once apparently and sneaking out with your boyfriend at 4 am was better than sleeping

you grab onto the satellite ridge and you pray for mercy that it doesn’t make a sound or loosen up because if anyone found out you were doing this it was definitely kuroo’s ass on the line

while you’re struggling to get down, kuroo’s just in the car ??? laughing his ass off at your current state and you swear that he’s still taking photos

you get down on the cement safely and instead of him pulling up closer to your drive way naaaah he makes you walk to where he was at 😤

you, getting in the car: if i dump you by the end of tonight, just know that the only reason why i didn’t do it sooner is because i wanted food

kuroo, putting on your seatbelt: we’ll get back together in the morning, i’m not worried

so the two of you make your way to chick-fil-a, get food via drivethru and eat in the parking lot with the doors open and the windows down

he still looks very tired and before you even realize it it’s already 6 in the morning

you catch him yawn every few minutes and he always reassures you that he didn’t mind staying up this late :(

he’s baby

kuroo: lets get you home, are you gonna dump me yet?

you, kissing his cheek: no, i kinda love you

kuroo, less sleepy with a lazy smile on his face: aha simp

tsukishima kei

bro if you think he’s a goody two shoes boy who won’t ask you to sneak out at like 2 in the morning , you are so wrong

canonically, he is the most devious and logical character in the entire anime and if he wants to go out with you before the crack of dawn — he fricken will !!

he’s gonna be so sly about it too, nah, he gon make you think it’s your idea to sneak out

tsukki, texting you a tiktok of homemade shrimp rotini at 2:35 am: look what yamaguchi sent me

yamaguchi, who fell asleep three hours ago and absolutely is not in any state to send tiktoks:

so you’re there like ??????

bruv you were just tryna scroll through your twitter feed in peace, why the hell would he send you that like that’s so uncool

because now you were sleep deprived and hungry

you, close to tears: does your house in hell have a pool or

tsukishima, unnerved: i don’t like the concept of swimming

he’s gonna go on about how he didn’t realize what he did and how he’s kinda sorry for waking your hunger but you weren’t born yesterday !! you smelled BS !!

so you facetime him, ready to go off on how unsorry he is and you can already imagine the shit eating grin he must’ve had on

he answers after three rings and he’s in a MFING yellow hoodie with the dinosaur print in the middle, his hair neatly tucked and you just know that he’s got his keys on his fingertips

you, defeated: i’ve been played

tsukishima, heading out the front door: i deny all accusations

you’re not even upset though because this was a perfect opportunity to try the stability of your roof ledge and tbh? who wasn’t unreasonably hungry at 3 am

turns out climbing out your window was harder than you thought and you may or may not have gotten two new bruises on your wrist just by trying

safe to assume that you fell on your ass and since the universe has a particular hatred towards you, your boyfriend arrived at the perfect time to witness all of it

tsukishima: how are you gonna kiss me when you’re too busy kissing the ground

you, tears on your cheeks: if i wanted a bully instead of a boyfriend i would’ve SAID SO

when you get in his car, the first thing he does is ask if you’re okay though and he’s checking your wrists and hands for any scratches or bleeding because 🥺

tsukki: you’re such a clumsy idiot what the hell

tsukki, kicking down the pavement when you’re not paying attention: 💢🪓

you guys end up going to numerous places because most of the drivethrus in town were already closed

you see him get tired behind the steering wheel and you almost have the urge to offer to drive but you didn’t really feel like crashing his car any day soon so

you: lets just head to starbucks hm? get some coffee?

tsukishima, feeling bad because he knows you wanted to get food: we don’t have to

you, in love with him: if you say no i will willingly walk all the way to starbucks by myself , what , you think i won’t do it

so you guys go there and order a couple double shot espressos with a side of scones and muffins and the entire time you’re just trying not to shiver because name one starbucks you’ve been to that hasn’t been unreasonably cold huh i dare you

he notices this and he gives you his hoodie and ITS JUST THE SOFTEST THING OKAY BECAUSE HE’S COLD TOO BUT HE JUST WANTS YOU WARM

you: i knew it, you love me too huh 😌

tsukishima: unfortunately so

akaashi keiji

AKAASHI IS LEGALLY THE BEST BOYFRIEND IN THE WORLD !!

like he cannot be a bad boyfriend ?? it’s impossible for him to be so ?????? he’s just built that way ????

he’s the ultimate mixture of respect and self love , god was just like “let’s make this one perfect !!”

he’s DRIPPING in love each other juice and he eats kindness for breakfast so ha !

he physically cannot say no to you because he flat out adores you

( except when he feels like you’re wrong or being irrational to which he’ll politely correct you and educate you because that’s on what? that’s on having a healthy relationship ♡ )

so when you hit him up at 5:23 in the morning after a series of tiktoks that he has yet to see and react to you about, he’s kinda alarmed

but then again he’s also not ?? because let’s face it, at this point, he’s used to you spamming his inbox

the last thing you sent him two minutes ago was a text saying “bro just imagine this: you and me at a maccas drivethru with two oreo flurry’s and a box of 20 piece chicken nuggets — immaculate”

and you didn’t really expect him to reply?

it was five am and you were absolutely shit talking but when you saw his face time status go online you were just like ?????

akaashi, snapping you a pic of him under his covers with very tired eyes: it’s 5:27 am

you, sending him back a photo of you and the 2000 piece puzzle you spent the last two hours doing: that’s not a no 💅

he doesn’t reply and you’re not really upset by it because he probably just fell asleep and that was really cute to you so !!

but then two minutes later he’s facetiming you and you JUMP at the sudden ringing

he’s all tired and his voice is groggy and tight but he’s still smiling as he says “i’ll see you in ten”

YOU ARE !!!! PUMPED !!!!!

you won the boyfriend lottery , holy hell

now the only thing keeping you from seeing your man and the mcdonald’s sign was the eleven foot gap between your window and the solid concrete

you’d usually take the stairs but you just know that your mom would absolutely murder you for trying to sneak out when you should be asleep 💆‍♀️

it was either climbing out by clawing through the pipes or not being able to give akaashi a hug and you were not gonna let that second one happen

akaashi, after reading your two paragraph rant on how unnatural it was for your window to be that high: please be careful

you, haven’t slept in 32 hours: screw careful ! i embody elegance !!

in which elegance was screaming every time your pipes squeaked because dear mercy you did not want to die yet

akaashi, who just pulled up your drive way and is now seeing you almost fall to the ground:

you, on the verge of tears: please catch me

AND he does 🥺

it was a close call and he barely even made it to you when you chose to let go but HE DID ANYWAYS

you kinda fell on him rather than landing smoothly in his arms but that’s okay you were just glad you didn’t die

when you both get in his car, he just takes a hot sec to dust you off and ask if you’re okay and he’s so concerned please tell him you’re fine

he’s such a baby please i can’t believe this shit

the two of you end up in a mcdonald’s parking lot with doja cat blaring on the radio and you guys do your best to hold back your laughter as you eat

it was pretty cold and the sun was rising but honestly you couldn’t find the urge to care since the moment just felt so surreal

you: i’m sorry for waking you btw 🥺

akaashi, showing you his new lock screen which is the picture he took of you when he first saw you climb out the window:

you: i’m less sorry

bokuto koutaro

BOYFRIEND OF THE MFING YEAR

i accept no arguments, go cry about it

i literally don’t care what anyone has to say, bokuto is the only man ever ? he’s so deserving of every right on earth i’ll cry

the way that this is the third night in a row he’s stayed up til 4 am and he’s not even alarmed about it

like at this point he’s just accepted that he is nocturnal and that’s that on that !

before he actually had the idea to ask you to sneak out for him, he debated whether or not it was worth it

you needed sleep and you barely got any so when he knew you were resting he absolutely refused to message you :(

but then he also thought about how you would love to have a large dunkin iced coffee right now

and he was already getting ready for his morning fix so why not just ask harmlessly?

if you weren’t going to respond then he’d be okay with that because he knew that you were resting well

but if you were going to answer his consecutive texts with a positive reply then HE IS 🥺 over the moon

you, barely awake: can we get a venti triple shot latté instead , my caffeine tolerance is SHOT

bokuto, snapping you back within a minute: babe you are delusional if you think i’m gonna let you drink that

so it’s 5 am and your parents are in the other room asleep but you know that their jobs start pretty early so you had to get a move on

your room wasn’t that high from the ground to be honest, so you weren’t really worried about falling off

what you were worried about was how dizzy and out of depth the melatonin gummies made you because in order to fall asleep you took 3 and now that you basically forced yourself out of a self induced coma, your body was on the verge of passing away

bokuto tells you that he doesn’t mind if you’re not up for the trip and he’d just bring you back your coffee BUT NAH

you’re not a quitter 🤬 you miss your boyfriend and you are gonna do whatever it takes to spend some quality morning time with him !!!!!

so you throw on a proper outfit, make your way through your window and gently do your best to refrain from yelping every time your hand would slip from the railing that’s keeping your balance

bokuto, pulling up seeing you on your roof: you’re so strong 🥺👉👈

you, barely alive: all for you baby ❤️

he helps you get down from where you stood and he had the prettiest smile on earth i SWEAR when you immediately sank in his cold chest

he apologizes for making you sneak out like that BUT NUH UH YOU DO NOT LET HIM

he is a gift !!! and you knew how tired he must’ve been too since he kept yawning but he still took the time and energy to pick you up 🥺

he fastens your seatbelt in the car and puts the windows up because he knew that the air would get in your face and you didn’t like that

he even brought you a spare hoodie of his because he remembered how much you swooned over this particular fabric

bokuto: we’ll get you some coffee but you can sleep while i drive, ok babe?

you, trying not to cry: are you single because i really want to kiss you

bokuto, kissing your cheek: i’m dating someone i’m sorry

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one-boring-person · 3 years

Note

Dumb request but. Uncle Bob gets jealous bc someone hits on thee reader. (It's a funny idea tbh. Also change your name. you're not boring!! you're absolutely awesome!!)

Hehe, thanks for the compliment!😂💛 I loved this idea, so I hope you like this!😊❤💛

Total Strangers.

T-800/Uncle Bob x reader

Warnings: some bad language, some light sexual implications

Masterlist

The terminator goes stiff almost as soon as we enter the store, the unusual behaviour making me lift an eyebrow at him, looking over his perfect posture in curiosity. His imposing frame easily stands out amongst the other shoppers around us, but his new discomfort puts me on edge, aware of his ability to determine and assess threats before I even know they're a problem. With this in mind, I place a hand on the cyborg's arm, looking up into his face in confusion.

"Everything alright?" I ask him, meeting his emotionless stare as he turns it on me.

"Yes." He replies bluntly, still not having quite grasped the balance between using relative information and speaking as briefly as is necessary.

"You sure? You're very tense." I probe, heading further into the shop with him, going to the section I need.

"I am positive." The terminator responds, following me, his eyes scanning the aisles as we move, the careful turn of his head still not quite natural yet, still a little automated.

"If you say so." I roll my eyes at his answers, choosing to ignore his obvious tenseness and start rifling through the racks of clothes, needing to find something to replace a couple of my old shirts.

"I did." Uncle Bob intones, standing over me, his large build hovering over me like a worried mother might fuss over her child.

It's not long before I get fed up with his presence so close to me, the terminator watching my every move, the precision in his gaze making me antsy. He shadows me around, staring at the people around us until they hastily walk away, his unnerving glare usually quite welcoming, though today it is just irritating me. After ten minutes or so, I turn to him, a small scowl etched into my face.

"Can you drop the hostile act? There's no need for it." I tell him, looking him in the eye.

"I am not sure what you mean." The T-800 frowns, cocking his head, a habit he picked up from me a few weeks ago. Usually, I find it flattering, cute, almost. But now it annoys me.

"I mean you need to stop acting like my bodyguard. It's totally safe here! You don't need to scare people off when they come within five metres of us." I clarify, gesturing to the area around us.

"Why? There is a possibility they may pose a threat to you. It is my objective to keep you safe." Bob recites, face going blank again.

Sighing in exasperation, I briefly close my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose frustratedly.

"There isn't any threat, Bob. We're fine, ok?" I try to reassure him, "Just back off a bit, yeah?"

Frowning again, the cyborg nods and steps back, standing by a display of mannequins, his body going still, almost as if trying to blend in with them. Letting out a breath, I turn back to the racks and continue browsing the items there, picking out a shirt and inspecting it, my head cocked to the side, a frown playing at my expression as I consider it.

"Not your colour." A voice behind me suddenly speaks up.

Frowning properly now, I turn to face the newcomer, lowering the shirt as I give them a once-over, checking for any danger they may pose. Finding none, I relax slightly as the red-head smiles at me, showing me he means no harm, his blue eyes straying over my form with no particular subtlety.

"Oh? And what makes you say that?" I reply guardedly, my body moving to face him properly.

The guy shrugs, grinning at me.

"I don't think it will work with your hair, that's all." He tells me, coming to stand beside me, picking out another shirt from the rack, "This, on the other hand…"

Eyeing the garment, I lift an eyebrow as I realise he is right, though I'm far too stubborn to admit it, so I simply place the original shirt back and start moving away.

"Aw, come on! Please don't be like that! I'm only trying to help." The guy follows after me, dropping the shirt and catching up to me.

"I don't take clothing advice from total strangers." I inform him, trying to ignore him as I flick through some more clothes, jackets this time.

"Ah, well in that case, I'm Caleb." The guy offers his hand to me, still smiling, a glint of mischief in his eye.

Glancing at him, I don't react, waiting for him to drop his hand. After a moment, he does, only to instantly pick something off the rack.

"This looks like it would suit you. Wanna try it on?" He looks me over again, holding out the jacket to me.

"Not really."

"Aw, why not?" Caleb pouts, shoulders slumping slightly.

"I told you, I don't take clothing advice from total strangers." I try not to roll my eyes, picking out a different jacket entirely.

"Hey, you know my name. I'm not a total stranger." The smirk is back on his face as he says this.

"You have known her for exactly four minutes and forty-eight seconds. You are a stranger to her." A familiar voice interrupts us, the monotone sounding words muchly appreciated now.

Holding back a smile of relief, I feel my eyes flick up over Caleb's shoulder to meet the hard blue ones staring at the guy's head. The terminator stands over us, his imposing body easily dwarfing both of us, his expression blank, though his jaw looks oddly clenched, something I've never seen him do. Caleb turns to face the cyborg, his expression falling.

"Who the hell are you?!" He bites out, the words flat as he eyes over the much larger newcomer.

"That is not relevant information for me to disclose." Bob replies evenly, staring the guy down, "Now leave. You are not wanted here."

"Fuck no, I got here first. Wait your turn, asshole." Caleb snaps at him, though his tone is a little shaky.

"You are not needed here. Leave." The cyborg intones, disregarding the previous statement.

"How do you know I'm not needed? Think you are?" The redhead snorts, "As if."

"Your presence is very clearly not welcome. She has reciprocated none of your advances, and has been blunt with you to deter you. You have ignored all of this and have continued to pester her for no reason. You are not wanted or needed, so leave." Bob begins, clearly wanting to say more, though he stops at a look from me.

"I'm not going anywhere, and you can't make me." Caleb folds his arms, planting himself in place.

Brow twitching, Bob steps forwards, moving as if to grab the smaller man, hand already outstretched, only stopping when I intervene.

"No, Bob, it's fine. He's not worth it." I stop him, ignoring Caleb's somewhat triumphant look.

Bob halts, staring the other man down, a scowl starting to creep onto his face, staying in place for a good minute, before he finally moves, reaching out to pull me into his body, marching the two of us from the shop. Goosebumps spread out along my skin where he's touched me, the hand at my waist heavy but not unwelcome, the feeling of his hard body pressed into mine making me swallow tightly. We go straight to the car, leaving no room for conversation until we get there, at which point he breaks away.

"What was all that about?" I ask him, confused by his actions, "I mean, I'm grateful that you stepped in, but you didn't have to-"

I'm cut off by the feeling of his large hands on my waist again, yanking me into his muscular body, pressing me flush against his hips. Surprised, I barely register what is happening as he smashes his lips into mine, kissing me roughly, his tongue already slipping out to trace along my lower lip as I gasp into the kiss. My eyes widen momentarily, only to fall closed as I relax into the kiss, my hands coming up to run through his hair, pushing myself closer to him, his muscles right under my touch. The terminator steps forwards, shoving me up onto the hood of the car, still kissing me, his mouth ravaging mine hungrily as his hands start to move, pushing up my shirt to caress my back, one slipping down to grip my ass, tightening around me as he presses his chest tighter against mine. Moaning, I arch my chest into him, allowing him to slip his tongue into my mouth, the synthetic muscle exploring and roaming everywhere it can reach, only pulling back when I tap his arm, needing to breathe.

Heads staying close together, we stare at each other, our breaths mingling with each exhale, his hands still rubbing over my skin. It's only when a wolf whistle from somewhere nearby sounds that I remember exactly where we are. Eyes widening, I pull back further and look around, noticing the group of men walking past, three of them waving and jeering at us, leaving my neck exposed to Bob. Instantly, his mouth attaches to the skin there, sucking a mark onto my pulse point almost immediately, his tongue smoothing over the area, followed by a wet kiss.

Trying not to moan too loudly, I gently push him off, already craving his touch again.

"Not here, Bob. It's not appropriate." I gasp out, lightly running a hand down his face.

"I apologise. I was unable to withhold myself." He replies, helping me down off the car, adjusting my clothes for me.

Lifting an eyebrow, I smile at him in curiosity.

He simply smirks, having learnt the action from John, doing his impression of a shrug and helping me into the car.

#terminator judgement day #terminator 2 #terminator imagine #terminator #t 800 #arnold schwarzenegger

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newtonsheffield · 3 years

Note

hello!! thank you for all your work and I really hope your next week it better than the last!! excited for next weeks update already!! i was wondering... whether we could maybe potentially see the episode on the edwina and goose show where they get engaged?? I never expected to love them so much, or care so much, but here I am!!

TBH I also hope this coming week is better than the last. It wouldn’t wanna be much worse that’s for sure. But you know what, it’s totally fine I’m gonna get a new tattoo in a few weeks and it’s gonna be FINE! (🌷🌷)

Can we see the Episode of the Eddie and Goose show where they get engaged? Are you sure you wanna? It’s preeetty cute? Honestly, I just love them, your honour.

Play the theme song: 🎶Eddie and Goose. Eddie and Goose! Two little sunshine kiiiiids🎶

Matthew Bagwell was nervous and reasonably, why should he not be? This was, arguably going to be the most important day of his life, so far if this went well, he told himself. He had been planning it for weeks now, hiding the box from Edwina had proved a little more difficult than he’d anticipated. She’d looked a little affronted when he’d said, rather panickedly Honey what are you doing?! You shouldn’t be doing my laundry! When she’d gone to put his neatly folded socks away, her eyes wide But I always do your socks. He’d gotten her mother’s blessing, gotten her sister’s blessing, even squared up to her terrifying brother in law Anthony who had eyed him irritatedly and said IF she says yes, you can marry her. But she might not. This had, of course, earned him a swift slap to the back of the head from Kate. And Matthew was sure that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Edwina, She was smart, and strong, and the kindest person he knew and every time she smiled at him his heart threatened to pound out of his chest, and even though they’d only been together seven months he was sure. He was ready for this, and all he had to do was forget his lunch.

“Matt, Babe, Don’t forget your lunch!” Edwina had called out for the third time as he’d tried to sneak out, leaving a kiss on his cheek, pushing his hair back from his eyes, the ring box burning hot against his leg, sweat beading on his forehead. “You look so handsome today.” She said lightly as she walked back towards the bathroom. And Matthew thought his heart was going to beat out of his chest, and he couldn’t help himself. “Edwina!” He said catching her attention, she turned back to him her eyebrows raised, still in her pyjamas, “I love you!” And her smile was so beautiful when she said “I love you too, Babe. Now get to work!”And she’d continued on her path, leaving him smiling after her ridiculousy.

“Matt, I reminded you three times! How did you forget your lunch?” Edwina’s voice laughed through the phone. And Matthew forced himself to stay calm, as though his plan wasn’t working perfectly. “Ugh, sorry babe, guess I’m a little hopeless.” He said lightly, his heart pounding, waiting for her next comment. “You, are very lucky I love you, I’m bringing it over, we can eat together.” Edwina said, clicking her tongue and Matthew could see her so clearly in his mind’s eye, smiling happily he eyes shining as she got into her car. “I am pretty lucky to have you, Yeah.” Matt said softly and Edwina laughed, the noise sending his heartbeat thundering again. “You really are trying to butter me up today aren’t you? It’s working beautifully by the way, if you play your cards right you’re in for a very lucky night. I’ll be there in about 30. I love you!”

And of course, Matthew had sprinted downstairs, getting himself in position, pacing a little to keep himself calm. Dawn at the front desk giving him a little thumbs up every now and then. It’s going to be fine. Matthew told himself You’re just going to ask her a question. You love her, She loves you. She does, She tells you all the time and she wears the sweaters your Mum makes and she paints mugs with you and she smiles like the sun. You’re just going to ask her a question What’s the worst that could happen?! Ignoring the voice in his head as he jumped out from around the corner startling the wrong woman She could break your heart.

And then, he could hear a familiar voice humming tunelessly, hear familiar footsteps around the corner and he sunk down on one knee. Waiting. He saw her walk round the corner, light from the windows streaming in, reflecting off her beautiful face as she tapped away on her phone, the Indiana Jones tin lunchbox she’d bought him in her hand. And she didn’t notice him, jostling right into him. His lunchbox hitting him square in the face. Edwina startled her eyes wide. “Oh my god, I’m so- Matt?” She said bemusedly, her eyes wide. “Babe, what are you doing on the floor?” She took a step back and her eyes widened even further as she took in his posture, on one knee, holding tightly to a ring box that might as well be his heart outstretched towards her. “Oh my god.” She gasped, her hands covering her mouth her eyes shining, shock written all over her face.

And Matthew felt himself panic, this wasn’t exactly the reaction he’d been hoping for. Had he misread everything? Oh god, had her sighing happily at Gregory Bridgerton’s Wedding last week not been a sign that she wanted to get married? Should he stand up? What a disaster! People were watching them now, including several of his coworkers! Jesus Christ What-

“Matt, Babe, are you...? Do you... maybe have something you want to ask me?” Edwina said gently and his eyes snapped to hers, there were tears shining there now, her bottom lip caught between her teeth, her eyebrows raised in a gently Go on expression and God he’d never wanted anything more in his life than to be this woman’s husband.

He forced himself to take a deep breath, opening the ring box finally, the Sapphire glinting in the bright light, and he heard Edwina gasp slightly. “Edwina, Seven months ago today, I was having the worst day and then I walked around this corner right here and there you were and I couldn’t breathe. Because you were so beautiful, and funny and smart, and by the end of the day I was pretty sure you were just... taking pity on a nerdy guy who couldn’t stop staring at you.” Edwina let out a watery chuckle, her fingers raking through his hair. And Matthew had to clear his throat so dislodge the lump there “But you stood just outside a week later and yelled at me for not calling you and I’m pretty sure that’s the moment I fell in love with you. And I know we haven’t been together very long but Eddie, I promise if you say yes I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make you as happy as you make me every day. So, Edwina Sarah Sheffield, Will you marry me?” The question hung between them in the air, Edwina tears rolling down her cheeks, and Matthew could feel something rolling down his own face as well.

“Matthew, I would be so proud to call myself your wife.” Matthew could feel his heart beating out of his chest, and he barely had time to blink before his fiancée had grabbed him by the sweater tugging him firmly up until their lips met. And it tasted like forever.

This was a really long episode and I’m sorry!

#bridgerton and sons au #edwinax bagwell #edwina x matthew #edwina x goose #edwina sheffield #edwina sharma #matthew goose bagwell #goose is a cutie #i love them your honour #proposals #molly's asks and answers

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ultimatebethylficlist · 3 years

Text

Veteran Author of The Month: June 2021

The featured veteran author for June is also a co-admin right here at UBFL: SquishyCool (or @im-immortal )!

SquishyCool can be found on AO3 and FFN under the same penname.

When asked what got her into Bethyl and what the fandom means to her, she said:

I’ve been a hardcore TWD fan since the show began airing, but that’s because of my love for zombies. In all honesty, I didn’t really ship anyone for the first 3-4 seasons. I kind of shipped Daryl with Carol, but then it became clear that it was a platonic relationship and in all honesty, I just wanted to see them both get some action lmao. Then the prison fell... and in those first moments of “Still,” when we see Beth and Daryl running and running and finally collapsing on the ground, breathless and exhausted... the butterflies started. Something clicked and I immediately thought, “uh oh.” The rest is history, especially considering how “Still” and “Alone” played out. I can’t explain how or why I’m still so heavily invested, especially considering my last 2 fandoms only kept my attention for about 2-3 years each, but here I am. And I love it! I am so incredibly grateful for the Bethyl fandom because not only has it helped me improve my writing so much more than I ever could have imagined, but it has also introduced me to some of the most amazing people, including someone who I now consider one of my very best friends! It’s my happy place :)

For her personal fic rec list, she recommends:

In The Maw by ronsparkyspeirs

Way Down We Go by LeathernLaces

Surfacing by lindentree

Wild Things (The Moonshine Poet) by Abelina

The Gift by Feliz

The Man Who Can't Be Moved by burningupasun

New Experiences Series by wallflow3r

Whisper Softly to Me by taylorcatherine

Interstice by leftmywingshome

To Love Like a Man by Seraphique

Death, Death (i defy thee) by alamorn

In My Blood by Courtneyshortney82

Let the Good Times Roll by gutsforgarters

Resolved by Allatariel

the weight of these wings by peachthorns

all my spaces are filled with you by annabeth_writes

A Little Jailbreak with the Little Jailbait by wandering_gypsy_feet

between the beginning and the end by sheriffandsteel

SquishyCool’s Works & Personal Thoughts:

Dirty Fingernails and Dried Blood Summary: What happened during the months between "Still" and "Alone"? Beth uses the last pages of her diary to write down every detail of surviving with Daryl. Thoughts: My first Bethyl fanfic. It holds a special place in my heart for that reason, though it is pretty rough. If I could go back, I never would’ve done it entirely in first-person. But I do plan to finish it one day. There are some scenes I’m particularly proud of, and I still have a long note full of ideas and plot points.

Most Wanted Summary: After Beth’s mother and half-brother are murdered in a drug war, the godly veil on the Greene Family operation is lifted, and law enforcement comes down hard. In an effort to protect her family, Beth commits a heinous crime that could mean life in prison alongside them. Now everyone she’s ever trusted is in police custody and her only chance at freedom is to get as far away from Atlanta as she can... Thoughts: Well, this is a must-read if you like my writing. I hope to one day convert this into an original fiction and maybe get it published, but I need to finish it first LOL. I got the idea from ONE scene of “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt,” and from there, it exploded into a huge mystery thriller (with lots of romance and smut). I’m really really proud of it, and I’m scared I’ll fuck it up tbh, so I keep putting off continuing it. But I really need to get back to it because I really want people to see what I have planned! (Also, this fic is the reason @courtneyshortney82 started talking to me, so that alone is pretty historic lmao)

The Crow’s Song Summary: Beth and Daryl spend a few more days together in the funeral home and come to terms with all they've lost along the way. But soon, they must decide what comes next. Thoughts: This fic... this fucking fic. It took me a full year to write. I made numerous edits. I even got a little depressed while I was writing the last two chapters, and my bf didn’t know why until he read what I’d been writing lol. It’s honestly the Bethyl fic I’ve always wanted to write but just didn’t know how. I’m still really really proud of how it turned out.

Carnival Games Summary: Daryl is a traveling carnival worker and Beth is a barely legal farmer's daughter looking for a night of fun when the carnival comes to town. Thoughts: Omg this fic is so fun!! One of my first Bethyl fics, and one of my first Bethyl smut fics. Short, sweet, a little funny, and a lot hot. I am still impressed with myself on this one, especially considering how much my writing has improved since lol

Breathe. Please. Summary: Beth shows up at the Hilltop. Alive. Daryl can hardly believe his eyes. Until she's lying in his bed, an arm's reach away. And he can hear her inhaling... exhaling... inhaling... Thoughts: Another “fix-it” that I’m proud of. Tbh I didn’t think it was anything all that special, but a lot of readers have said it’s one of their favorites, and some say they reread it regularly, and nothing makes me happier than hearing that, so I am extremely proud.

picking @ scabs Summary: Sometimes, no matter how much you love someone, being with them just isn't right. But what wouldn't you give for it to be right? Can someone like Daryl learn how to swallow his pride and stop repeating the same mistakes over and over? Can someone like Beth learn to fight off her demons and allow him to get close enough to hurt her again? How can they stay away from each other when it's all too easy to fall back into one another? Picking a scab will leave a scar, but they both have so many scars already... what's a few more? Thoughts: This fic is very, very personal for me. It’s like my “therapy” fic. I have poured some of my deepest feelings and struggles into its chapters, and the whole idea that got me to start it was that I wanted to find a way to navigate and cope with ending my 3-year long relationship with my emotionally/mentally/sometimes physically abusive ex. I still have a lot of fond memories from that relationship, but even more so, I have painful memories. Not to mention, going through your early 20s as a woman in the modern day is a fuckin’ trip, so this kind of explores that. It’s really self-indulgent, I think, but I’m really proud of the smut in it. And more than that, I’m proud of the response. I’ve had a few people message me or comment to say that they’ve felt all those things, or have experienced similar things, and it’s really just... relieving. I put my heart and soul out there, and what I got back was “you’re not alone.” So yeah, this fic is special. I wanna finish it soon, but I have to be in A Mood to do so.

In Toto Corde Summary: Despite a million reasons not to, Beth and Daryl fell in love. Then he made the ultimate sacrifice in order to keep all of his promises. Now, facing unimaginable consequences at the hands of witch hunters, Beth has no choice but to use her powers to bring Daryl back from the dead. "He won't be the same..." Thoughts: I LOVE THIS FIC. I love it so much that I had to rewrite it after like 4 or 5 years. And I already started on a sequel that I really hope I’m able to finish. Though it doesn’t have many hits, and I don’t think many people have read it at all, which I understand since it basically is entirely focused around Daryl being killed. But damn, I’m proud of this one, and it was really fucking fun to write because witch!Beth is just... the best.

risk it all (part 1 of in for a penny, in for a pound) Summary: Daryl Dixon has a pretty decent life, all things considered. He's got his own place. A good dog. A few friends. Even a girlfriend. He keeps himself out of trouble. Until he starts texting Beth Greene. And hell, if he ain't about to risk it all for this damn girl. Thoughts: This was supposed to be one short multichapter fic focused entirely on smut and social media. Then I got on a roll and it ended up being the beginning of a series! This fic is purely fun. Nothing too serious or heavy. I write it when I’m in a Good Mood because it’s my little happy place. I have plans for about 4 more fics before the series will be finished!

Don’t Make Me Haunt You Summary: So here's the thing: Merle Dixon is dead as fuck. And as it turns out, Beth Greene is the only one who can see or hear him. Which is weird considering she's never met or even heard of this guy, let alone anyone with the last name Dixon. That's her first problem... Thoughts: The reception to this fic has absolutely blown me away. I had no idea anyone would want to read about ghost!Merle haunting Beth and forcing her to solve his murder with the help of his grumpy brother. And it was all inspired by an episode of South Park lmao then I started really getting into it and now it’s just like, my super fun fic where I explore a range of emotions and all kinds of religious beliefs and different mythologies and I can build the world however I want and goddamn I just love writing this fic. Plus there’s a podfic for it! I can’t even begin to explain how much I love this fic and how proud I am of it :)

#bethyl fanfiction #veteran author of the month

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