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clementine-writes-things · 2 days

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"Run Rabbit, Run!" pt.1 - E.N

Summary: Y/n Wayne, Edward's obsession and love. He can't help but follow them, watch them, stalk them. A strategic 'run in' in a bookstore turns into a friendship, and that turns into a requited love. But of course, Edward goes to Arkham. Will that change anything, though? (In this story, the seawall bombing doesn't happen. Only the death of Falcone. This story makes more sense if you've read Year One, but if not you should still be ok! <3)

Content Warning: 18+, explicit language, yandere!Edward, stalker!Edward, self-hate, egotistical!Edward, obsessed!Edward, megalomaniac!Edward, mentions of murder, mentions of guns, edward comparing himself to a fox and y/n to a rabbit, sexual content, dirty talk, descriptions of sexual intercourse, AFAB!Reader, she/her pronouns.

Word Count: 6,608

Songs For Inspo:

Daydream In Blue - I Monster

Where Is My Mind? - Pixies

Every Breath You Take - The Police

~Read Below Cut~

'Y/n Wayne.'

Even thinking about her name gave him chills. A shiver scurried down his spine, fading at the tips of his toes. His glasses reflected the blue light of his laptop, eyes darting around as he scanned over the various articles. Pictures of y/n, each in different tabs, covered his screen. Each one was minimized so he could see all of them at once. It had become a part of his nightly routine.

"Research" he called it.

What exactly was he researching, though? A weak link in Wayne Enterprises? A way to gain access to more information? Blackmail over Bruce Wayne? Or, was he simply learning as much as he could about the Wayne family?

None of the above.

He was learning more about her.

His tongue darted out, swiping over his lips before retreating back into his mouth. It was late, he should be asleep, that's what most people would say. But, Einstein only took naps, was sleep really important? He didn't think so. Edward only slept when he felt like it was necessary. He used to get a tad bit more sleep, but his new "hobby" occupied that extra time now. With a click of his touchpad, he opened up a new article. Gotham Gazette. Tired eyes read the title, a hum of satisfaction sounding in his chest.

'Y/n Wayne Donates 3 Million To Gotham City Orphanage'

'"All I know is, children should have a safe place to call home. Even if they do not have a family, they still deserve love and kindness." She said as she left the orphanage.'

Edward's lips curled up into a small smile.

"A charitable, generous spirit. And yet, you are a Wayne..." He mumbled to himself.

An irrepressible yawn rose from his chest, eyes squinting slightly as his jaw slacked. He blinked away tears that formed in his eyes, wiping the excess away with his palms. It was at that moment he realized how badly the screen hurt his retinas, due to staring at it for over an hour. Edward grunted, yawning again as he zoomed in on a picture of y/n. She was sitting on a park bench, most likely at Gotham Central Park, right next to her older brother Bruce Wayne. Edward had found out through "research" that she was 28, just 3 years younger than him. Bruce, however, was 30 years old.

"So soft and kind in your appearance, yet aware, like a twitchy rabbit."

Reaching forward, he glided his finger tips over the image. He sighed, closing the laptop before standing up from his desk. If he continued to look at the pictures or read the articles any longer, he would be up all night. If it was the weekend, he could do that, but in the morning he had work. Work. He wondered, was that something that y/n knew of? Did she have a job, or did she simply live off of her dead parents money? Well, she did run part of Wayne Enterprises, so she did get money from that. But, her part in it was not huge, as it was mainly her older brother that ran the company. Edward knew that y/n was independent, as she didn't live with her brother in Wayne Tower. She had her own apartment, as a matter of fact, she lived near Edward. Though, that was not by coincidence. Edward had moved apartments recently, and when he did, he took into mind where y/n lived. So, because of his "strategic" planning, her apartment was directly across the street from his. It was concerning how obsessed he had become with her, the obsession had turned into stalking, and he so desperately wanted to have an encounter with her. Edward was always socially awkward and shy growing up in the orphanage, never having any friends or even trying to make any. He was too different. But, when he began his journey as the Riddler, he felt more confident and powerful than ever before. And y/n, well, every time he saw her...he felt confident in other forms. Edward looked down at the ground, seeing his growing erection hidden under his pants. He groaned, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath through his nose. Curling his hands into fists, he glanced back down at his laptop. He so badly wanted to open it back up and stare at the pictures of her for hours on end, but he did need to sleep, much to his dismay. If he showed up to work tired and sluggish again, he feared he might get fired. Getting fired was the last thing he needed, as a source of income was necessary to live in this shithole of a city. The twitching of his pants brought him out of his thoughts, hissing at the tightening of the fabric around him.

He ran his hands through is hair, muddling it up. Walking to his bedroom, he removed his belt, tossing it haphazardly on his dresser. Edward kicked his jeans off, not even bothering to see where they landed, his apartment was already a mess due to his plannings. In his t-shirt and boxers, he walked to the bathroom, brushing his teeth and staring at himself in the mirror. The throbbing underneath his underwear did not cease, as thoughts of y/n still raced through his mind. Some of them were innocent, he thought about what her favorite songs were, what her favorite color was, and did she have any childhood pets? But, the other half consisted of graphic fantasies. Edward did not consider himself to be a sexual man, but y/n evoked an animalistic feeling inside of him. To be fair, that's not all he felt towards her. He had many dreams about simply holding her in his arms, feeling loved for once in his life. But, again, he also had dirty thoughts. Images of her beneath him, back arched and mouth agape flashed by his eyes. He had heard her voice before, in interviews, and he imagined how her moans would sound. Would they be high-pitched, or would they be sultry and low? He favored the former, picturing himself making her feel so good that she couldn't maintain a consistent tone of her voice. He wanted to feel her touch so badly. He wanted to keep her safe. Oh, how he would love to protect her from the scum that populated this city. In a way, he already was. He would watch her apartment every night, keeping a close eye on who came in and came out. He practically knew everyone of the tenants schedules at this point. Edward spat the toothpaste and spit mixture into the sink, washing it away.

"The bookstore. That's when you'll see her." He mumbled to himself.

He brought a paper cup of water to his lips, swishing it around in his mouth. Spitting into the sink, he tossed the cup into the trashcan. Edward placed his hands on the edge of the basin, looking at his reflection. His eyes had heavy bags underneath them, a result from lack of sleep, his own fault. After a few seconds, he smirked, turning the light off and walking out of the bathroom. Glancing at the clock on his nightstand, he read the time.

'4:19 A.M'

He cursed under his breath, dragging his hand down his face. It was so late and he had to get up early. Edward had complete control over when he went to bed, and yet he chose to stay up and torture himself. Why? So he could indulge in his obsession with y/n. But, he wouldn't have to stay up late anymore. Tomorrow, he was going to take a big leap. He was prepared, but he just hoped everything went according to plan. Yawning once again, he got under the covers of his bed. The erection he had earlier was still there, though slowly fading away. It was a good thing, because he was too tired to take care of it like he usually did. Edward had gone through an embarrassingly high amount of tissues since his new 'hobby' started. He removed his glasses, placing them on his nightstand, looking back up towards the ceiling. The sounds of police sirens echoed throughout the streets as he slowly drifted off into sleep, a single thought crossing his mind before.

'This city is a stain on the earth.'

The morning came quick, and Edward went to his job running on 3 1/2 hours of sleep. He was used to it though. Work was the same as it always was for him: boring and easy. Being a forensic accountant was easy work, numbers always being a simple thing for him to understand, ever since he was a child. Though, just because he was smart didn't mean he got recognized for it. He would get accounts done quicker than expected, and his 'higher up' would get all the credit. Edward came to understand one thing about Gotham fairly quickly in his adolescence, and that was that the lower class did not get any recognition. But, he somehow managed to get through another soul-crushing day at KTMJ. It felt longer because of what awaited him. He stood outside the window of a small bookstore, peering inside subtly. Glancing down at the watch on his wrist, he nodded slightly before walking inside. Because of his penchant for stalking y/n, he discovered that she frequented this particular bookstore. Obviously, Edward took this as a sign that she liked to read. He did too, which gave him a bit of a one-up to start a conversation when he 'accidentally' ran into her. From what he had observed, the always came every other Friday, sometimes they didn't go, but he was willing to take a chance today. His bag from work was slung over his shoulder, laptop and his 'personal' ledger inside of it, filled to the brim with his thoughts and ideas. He walked down the aisles, pretending that he was looking for a book. Rounding the corner, he froze in place, withdrawing behind the shelf as he saw her. She was looking at the rows of books, specifically under the 'Horror/Thriller' section. Edward closed his eyes.

'Shh. You're okay. Just breathe. Now, go.'

Without another thought, he stepped out from behind the shelf. He let his eyes wander around the area. Edward continued to walk towards her, bracing himself for what he was about to do. Squinting his eyes shut, he walked directly into her, falling on his back. His bag, still around his shoulder, laid next to him. Just like he knew she would, she gasped and looked down at him. He held onto his head, faking a grunt as he met her gaze. Y/n knelt down, holding out a hand with a soft smile.

"Oh, I'm so sorry! Did I trip you?" She asked softly.

Edward smirked internally, finding it amusing that she was the one who apologized even though he was the one who ran into her. It just goes to show how polite she was. He nodded, grabbing onto her hand and allowing her to help him get up. The feeling of her soft supple skin against his sent a shiver down his spine, just like he got when he looked at pictures of her.

"There's no need for you to apologize, I'm the one who wasn't looking at where I was going. And, no, you did not trip me...Ms. Wayne! I'm very sorry for running into you ma'am." He faked his surprise.

She shook her head.

"No, no, I have a bad habit of standing directly in the middle of the aisles. I get so focused on finding the book I want that I forget about my surroundings. And, please, call me Y/n. Me being a Wayne doesn't change a thing about my status. Or, at least I like to believe that." Y/n laughed awkwardly.

Edward groaned in his head, her laugh resonating in his ears. It was the sweetest sound he had ever heard. It made his heart warm and his lips form a smile. Now, it was time to start a real conversation. He had to get y/n interested in him.

"Well, that's understandable depending on what book you were looking at. Have you found one?" He asked suavely.

She shook her head, placing her hands on her hips. He took in her appearance, light makeup on her face, he had noticed that she really liked blush on her nose. Just like earlier, he had compared her to a rabbit, and the faint pinkish nose further solidified his comparison. She wore jeans and a dark burnt sienna sweater. A pair of mismatched converse covered her feet, which Edward found to be an interesting fashion choice.

"No, I haven't found one yet. I know what I want, but I just can't...find it? You know?" She shrugged, placing a book onto the shelf.

"Readers block?" He questioned.

"Oh, is that a thing?" She asked, tilting her head.

"I mean, maybe? I just made it up on the spot." Edward shrugged.

"Huh, well I like it. I'm gonna start calling it that...anyways, what kind of book are you looking for? Maybe that will help me." Y/n asked, whipping her hair out of her face.

Edward used every fiber of his being to not lurch forward and smell her hair. Though, he could detect a soft smell of peaches. It was a pleasant scent that made him want more. More of her. If he could just touch her...

"I was just looking for some of Shakespeare's plays. I've already read the majority of them, but I don't have them in my own apartment." He said.

"You like Shakespeare?" Y/n asked in bewilderment.

"Who doesn't?"

"I loved reading Shakespeare in high school, I got made fun of for it so much. But, being a Wayne might have had something to do with it too..." She trailed.

"Do you have a favorite play? I wouldn't mind re-reading a few." Edward hoisted up his bag, readjusting its position on his shoulder.

"Well, call me basic, but I really like Macbeth and Hamlet, the stories are interesting. Romeo and Juliet is a classic though, if you want romance."

Y/n walked over to the plays, scanning the shelves and removing a book. She opened it up, flipping through the pages. Edward watched closely, like a predator analyzing his prey for a weakness. Where would he strike, and when? Would he go for the throat and jump right into action? No. He had to be patient. If he was to truly win her love, he would have to do it the right way. But, he so desperately wanted to grab her hips. He pictured himself shoving her against the shelf, attacking her neck with his lips and teeth. Would she squeal like a timid rabbit? Would she enjoy it? Would she want him to do more? Would she beg for him to take her in this very aisle? Oh, he hoped so. He so badly hoped that she had the same filthy fantasies as he did.

"Mmm, here's one of my favorite quotes! 'Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind; and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.'.." She giggled, looking down at the quote with a smile.

Y/n closed the book, sliding it back on to the shelf.

"A Midsummer Night's Dream. That's a good one." He nodded.

"I told myself growing up that I would not accept someone's love unless they spoke through the words of Shakespeare. It's easy to tell someone you love them, but finding a poetic way is harder."

He looked at her, fascination evident in his eyes. She was even more interesting in person. Of course, Edward knew she liked Shakespeare. He practically knew everything about her. But, to be discussing it with her face to face was an amazing feeling. He never wanted this conversation to end.

"Fuck, what am I saying? I'm discussing my childhood with a complete stranger. I never even asked what your name was!"

"It's Edward. Edward Nashton." He introduced himself.

"Edward Nashton...why does that name sound so familiar..." She hummed.

He felt himself sweat. Why did he tell her his real name!? What an idiot. Stupid, stupid, idiot. Her father knew him, of course she knows his name. Should he tell her? Should he tell her about Renewal? She was smart, he knew that. Eventually, even if he never told her, she would find out. If he kept it as a secret, it would likely ruin his chances with her. Damn it.

"Um, your father came to the orphanage I was homed in, back when the Renewal project started. I applied, but then he..." He trailed.

'Great first impression, bring up her dead father. Real fucking smart.'

Y/n noticed he looked guilty for bringing it up, so she put on a small smile.

"Did you ever get accepted?" She asked.

"No."

"Oh, I see. I'm very sorry about that. I was too young to take part in any of that...if I was able to, I would have done more than he did." She scoffed.

Edward picked up on the hint of resentment. Perhaps, she felt equally upset about the Wayne's history? Oh, how interesting...

"I don't hold on any ill will towards you, incase you were worried. I've seen what you've been doing for Gotham citizens, especially the children." He said.

That was true, he held no ill will towards y/n. Her family, on the other hand, that was a different story. Sure, he still had a fascination with Bruce Wayne, but he needed to pay for the sins of his father. Y/n did not. She was actively trying to do things about the corruption and violence in Gotham. Meanwhile, her brother stayed up in Wayne tower being waited on by a butler. Edward couldn't remember the last time Bruce Wayne did something as charitable as y/n did. A ringing in y/n's pocket echoed throughout the store, causing them to scramble to grab it. Looking at the caller ID, she shook her head and lightly sighed. She looked up towards Edward, holding up a finger with a sheepish smile. He nodded, wishing he could see that shy smile once more. Y/n stepped away slightly, answering the phone and holding it up to her ear as she leaned against a shelf. Edward could not hear the conversation, only what y/n was saying.

"Hey Brucey, what's up?" She asked.

'I need you to come to Wayne Tower. You know about drops, right?'

"Um, yeah?"

'I busted a dealing and I'm not sure where to go from here. I was wondering if you might have any leads since you live near the shady part of the city.'

"Shit, look, you know I'd help, but I really don't think I should get involved with that...hobby. I'm not a huge fan."

She looked at Edward, not wanting to be too open with information. Based on the tone of her voice, Bruce assumed that someone was near her. She knew that Bruce was Batman. Did she like the idea and purpose behind it? Yes. Did she want to get involved? No. Y/n loved her brother to death, but she did not want to get involved in his vigilante life.

'I understand. I'll figure it out myself. But, y/n, be careful. This city is filthy.'

"You know what, I can send you some information for it later on." She added.

'Oh, that's great! Thank you so much, sis. I really appreciate it.'

"I know, Bruce. I love you. Tell Alfred I said hi, ok? We should have dinner sometime soon." She hummed.

'That sounds nice, and I'll be sure to tell Alfred. I love you too, be safe.'

Y/n hung up the phone, sliding it back into her pocket. She walked back over to Edward, clearing her throat. He gave her a smile.

"Sorry about that, it was my brother. He asked if I would come over and help him work on a car of his. I'm not a big fan of mechanics." She laughed.

"It's no problem. I think I'll get A Midsummer Night's Dream, you've convinced me." He smiled.

"Oh, I'm glad! You'll have to let me know what you think of it!" She beamed.

"And how would I do that exactly?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, yeah...I don't know why I said that. Oops."

He smiled, pulling out his phone and opening his phonebook. Handing it to y/n, he encouraged her to take it. She looked up at him, that pink nose of hers scrunching as she giggled softly. He could see her cheeks turn pink, and it wasn't just the blush. He felt confident. Cocky. Proud. He knew that she wouldn't reject him. She was too kind to do that to someone. He was purposefully shy and awkward, knowing that it would raise the chances of her not rejecting him. Everything had been planned out and was being executed perfectly.

"Have I earned the right to ask for your number?" He asked, grabbing the book off the shelf.

"Hmm, I'd like to think so." She smiled, inputting her information into the phone.

Y/n handed it back to Edward, pulling out her phone as well. Smirking, he told her his phone number and watched as she typed it into a contact. He could feel his heart race from underneath his rib cage. It thumped, pounded, beat like crazy and he could practically hear his blood pumping in his ears. Swallowing thickly, he gave her an awkward smile, still playing the part of a socially awkward man.

"I'll talk to you later, yeah? I still can't figure out what to get, so I think I'll just head back home. Bye bye, Edward!" She waved, walking out of the store.

He waved a goodbye, watching as she walked away. His eyes were focused on her hair, bouncing and swaying with her steps. But, his eyes trailed lower and lower, resting on the plump of her ass. The way it moved was almost hypnotic, sending him into a trance of desire and lust. But, he had to be patient. As with his plan for Gotham, he had a plan for y/n. If he skipped steps, everything would fall down. So, he simply watched her fade away, the natural bounce in her step resembling the hop of a bunny. A familiar shiver creeped down his spine, his body shaking in delight. He wondered if she would have the same natural bounce in bed. Closing his eyes, he let his imagination run wild, feeling

'And there you go, gentle rabbit. As you hop through the streets, be calm, knowing that a fox is watching over you.'

He was a genius. His plan worked, and now y/n was eating from the palm of his hand. Back on the first night they met, he did not text her first, even though he wanted to. He had to make her want to talk to him. He had to make her want his attention. It was easier than he thought, though, as y/n found Edward to be an interesting man. He became a frequent guest at her apartment, pretending to be shocked when he 'found out' that they lived right across the street from each other. He no longer needed to 'research' her, because she would willingly confide to him about all of her problems, past, and thoughts. He was her friends, just like he had planned. A week turned into two, two turned into three, and then a month went by. Then, another month went by. And then another. It was October, and he was putting his plans for Falcone into motion. Everything was going perfectly according to plan. Of course it was, he had planned it. He never made mistakes. But, now, was another part of his goal that he needed to accomplish. Making y/n fall in love with him. And, he didn't have to try hard. As Halloween grew closer and closer, so did y/n's relationship with Edward. She found herself falling for him, face first into the dirt. He knew this. It was so obvious. Oh, it made him feel so powerful and strong, having a Wayne be in love with him. He could so easily manipulate it, use it as blackmail, but he didn't. This was for his own pleasure. He loved her and he was making her fall in love with him. It wasn't forcing, she was willingly doing it. It was so evident how head over heels she was for him. She was practically putty in his hand, and they both knew it. He could ask her to do anything and she would, well, with limitations of course, do it. Though, he would never ask her to do anything bad or criminal, no, no, no. Instead, he would ask for small favors...ones that he knew would drive her crazy and spiral further in love with him. The way she looked at him, it fed his ego so generously...

A knock at y/n's door caught her attention. She placed down the pencil she had in her hand, walking over. Glancing through the peephole, she giggled when she saw Edward on the other side. Y/n was quick to open the door.

"Eddie! Hi!" She greeted happily.

"Hello, y/n. I'm sorry to interrupt but the heater at my apartment building isn't working. Is it ok if I take a shower here?" He asked.

Y/n's cheeks tinted pink, eyes slightly widening. She swallowed a lump in her throat. Nodding, she stepped to the side, allowing him to come in. As he walked past, y/n took in the smell of his natural scent. For some reason, he always smelled like he wore cologne, even when he didn't. It was like a natural peppery smell, hints of pine and citrus as well. Y/n knew he loved candles, so it could be because he always had a candle lit and the smells just started to stick to him. Whatever the reason, y/n loved it.

"I'll go get a towel, but um, you'll have to use my soap and stuff." She said.

"No need, I brought my stuff. I had some extra, is it ok if I leave it here? In case I need to use your shower again in the future?" He questioned, slyly smirking to himself.

'Oh, how precious...she's blushing so deeply.'

"U-Um, yeah that's fine! Really smart! You're really smart, Edward!" She praised shyly.

'Yes, I already know that. But, say it again, it sounds so good coming from you...'

"Anyways, let me go get a towel for you." She smiled, leaving the room.

Edward waited till she left, noticing that the lamp on her desk was on. Curiously, he walked over to see what she was doing before he arrived. A pencil rested on an open sketchbook, the contents making his lips tug up in a smug grin. She had been sketching pictures of him. He was in her mind 24/7, unable to get him out, so much so that she needed to draw him. Some of them were normal sketches of him smiling, neutral, or frowning. But, then there were more risqué ones. Those intrigued him the most. There was one of him looking down, eyes dark and heavy, perfectly capturing how tired he looked all the time. Another one had him standing in front of a poorly drawn bed, the main focus being his own body. He was gripping the frame, hunching over it. It was drawn in a perspective that made him look down, almost like someone was below him staring up at him. Oh, he knew what was going through her mind when she drew that. After all, it was a thought he had quite often. One where she was beneath him, either on a bed or a couch, it didn't matter to him. But, she would look up at him with those doe eyes, completely bare and on display. He would look down, intimidating and ominous before ravishing her and making her nails dig into the skin of his back. Edward had heard of the 'cliche' promise of fucking someone so roughly that they'd break the bed, but he wasn't trying to be cliche. It wasn't playful dirty talk to him, no, it was a promise. And if he was ever given the chance, he would be sure to keep it.

"Ok, I put a towel in the bathroom. Y-"

Edward turned around, the sketchbook in his hand. Y/n was a mess, completely embarrassed. He knew she would get like that, which is exactly why he picked it up. Smiling, he lowered it from his vision.

"These are really good, y/n. I'm honored to be your muse."

"O-Oh, it's nothing. I j-just got bored, you know? And I know what you look like, so I figured I-I'd just draw you." She stuttered.

"This one is my favorite. Well, I'm going to shower." He said, walking towards the bathroom with a bag of his toiletries.

Y/n looked at the sketch he pointed at, face turning beet red. Of course it was the one of him looking down. God, why did she even draw that? Well, she knew why, but she was utterly embarrassed because he had seen it. And now, he was getting naked in her own apartment. Did he know what he did to her? The power he held over her? Yes, he did know that. After all, his heater was working just fine.

As time went on, Y/n knew something was up with Edward. The way she could see his lights on very late into the night. The way he never wanted her to come to his own apartment. But, all of her suspicions were answered one night. He did it on purpose, she was sure of it...

"I had so much fun with you tonight, Edward! Thanks for coming over." She smiled.

Y/n opened the door for him, watching him walk out and stand in the doorway. He looked at her and smiled.

"You don't need to thank me for wanting to hang out with you. I find it fun too."

He turned to walk away, but y/n called out to him. Edward stopped, looking back to her with a curious expression on his face. Y/n fidgeted with her hands. She knew what she wanted to ask, but she was terrified of what the answer might be. Of what it would be. There was no might. Deep down in her heart, she knew.

"Have you heard of this 'Riddler' man?" She asked.

Edward raised an eyebrow, walking back to the doorway. Leaning against the frame, he nodded. Y/n swallowed thickly as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Yes, I have. What about him?"

"W-Well, I've been a little scared. He seems to have a grudge against my brother...what if he starts targeting me?" Y/n sighed.

"Oh, I'm sure he won't come after you."

"How do you know that?"

"Just a hunch." He smirked, looking down on her.

That was it. It was in that exact moment that y/n knew. There was no debate about it. For the first time in a while, she felt true fear flood her body. A shiver ran down her spine, visible to Edward. He was playing with her. He was not saying he was the Riddler, but he wasn't saying he was not the Riddler either. But, if she suspected, then why didn't she tip off the police? Why did she not say anything? And most of all, why did she feel so hot as he looked at her. A serial killer, a friend, stood in front of her, and all she could feel was arousal. Edward smirked, he could see how rapidly she was breathing. Humming, he stepped towards her, forcing her to back away slowly. He closed the door behind him, holding a hand over his heart.

"You don't think that I'm the Riddler, do you?" He feigned surprise.

"W-What? N-No! W-Why would I think that?" She stuttered.

He continued to walk towards her until she was backed against her desk. Edward now stood in front of her, eyes looking down menacingly at her through the lenses of his glasses. She gripped the desk firmly, searching for stability. The sight alone made him lustful.

"Then why do you look so scared?" He questioned.

"I-I'm not, Edward. I'm not scared..." She mumbled.

"Yes you are. I can see it in your eyes. You're trembling beneath me."

"I-"

"Here. Call the police." He said, pulling out his phone.

"What?"

"Call the GCPD. Tell them that The Riddler is in your apartment."

Edward dialed 911 onto the phone, not pressing call. He handed it to her, crossing his arms over his chest. The phone shook in her hands, her eyes looking up into his. She should call them. But, she didn't want to. Yes, Edward had killed people...but they were all bad. Y/n knew better than most people how corrupt this city was, that was why she lived in a shitty apartment. She wanted to go through what every other Gotham citizen had to. That was why she donated money, volunteered, did whatever she could to help. But, these assholes did the exact opposite. They didn't give a shit about the people.

"N-No..."

"No? You won't call? Why is that?" He teased.

"Because, I-"

"Because you what?"

"Because I'm not betraying you! You're my friend, but you're sick in the head, Edward. I understand that you hate the corruption in this city, I do too. But, murder is not the way to solve it!" She cried.

"Oh, you're such a liar, y/n. You should already know how much I hate liars..." He seethed through gritted teeth.

"I-"

"I could kill you, easily." He muttered.

"Edwa-"

"Tell me the truth!"

"Because I love you!"

Edward smirked, stepping closer to her. He planted his hands on both sides of the desk, trapping her beneath him. Y/n was now breathing frantically, heart racing underneath her supple skin. He tutted, shaking his head as he leaned down to her ear.

"My, my, what would Bruce think? The citizens of Gotham? The news? Y/n Wayne, hopelessly in love with the Riddler. How sad..."

"Edward, what are you planning..."

"Mmm, why would I tell you? Because I love you?"

"W-"

"How would you feel if I told you that I had stalked you for months before I 'met' you?" He chuckled.

"What?"

"Do you think I coincidentally went to your favorite bookstore? That I just happened to live right across the street from you? I know everything about you, y/n. I've been watching you. Studying you. Like a predator stalks their prey. And you had no idea..." He smirked.

"Edward..."

"How does that make you feel? Are you scared? Petrified? Intimidated? Please do tell me."

Y/n whimpered, knees buckling below her. She was red in the face, eyes soft and hazy. Her mouth was partially open, lips shiny from her lip gloss. He could practically smell her fear. But a sickening scent of arousal hung thick in the air as well.

"Or do you like it?" He mocked.

"You're scaring me, Edward..."

"Is that why you're blushing? Is that why you're panting?"

He leaned forward, gripping his hands on her hips. She whined, biting on her bottom lip. Edward moved his knee to between their legs, roughly grinding it against her clothed heat. A pathetic whimper slipped from her lips.

"Is that why I can practically smell how aroused you are?"

"P-Please..."

"Do you get off on fear, y/n? Do you like being intimidated? Overpowered? At the mercy of someone else? The mercy of me?"

He moved his knee back and forth again, admiring how helpless she looked. She reached up and gripped onto his shoulders, throwing her head back. Edward scoffed, holding her head in place with his hand. He looked into her eyes as he continued to grind up into her.

"Talk."

"Fuck, y-yes, Ed! I l-love it! Please..." She groaned.

"You love what? Being at my mercy? Being afraid? Intimidated?"

"Yes! All of it!"

She leaned forward, snaking arms around his neck. Without a thought, y/n kissed him with force. He took no time at all to reciprocate it, hiking her up onto the desk. His tongue slipped into her mouth, teeth clashing against each other in the sloppy kiss. Edward pulled away, wrapping his hand around her throat. He slapped her face harshly, gripping her jaw.

"You're a fucking embarrassment to the Wayne family."

"I-I know..."

"Tell me you want me to fuck you. I know you want it."

"P-Please, Edward! Fuck me!"

He ripped her panties off, throwing them across the fl-

...

No, that's not what happened at all. None of that happened. It was a dream. A sick, sexual fantasy that y/n worked up in her head as she slept in her bed. She shot up out of bed, the center of her legs dripping wet. Shakily, she let out a breath, holding a hand over her chest as it heaved. Y/n definitely had feelings for Edward, that was a fact. But, she also had suspicions of him being the Riddler. He had never given any confirmation, but deep down in her gut she had a feeling. And what did her subconscious do with those feelings? It created a vulgar wet dream. Of course it did.

"He's not the Riddler. You're imagining things. It's paranoia." She whispered to herself.

She grabbed her phone off of the nightstand, the bright light making her eyes squint. It was late, but Edward usually pulled late nights. Shuddering, she called him, putting the phone on speaker. It was stupid, but she needed Edward to comfort her. The heat between her legs was still there, making her rub her thighs together.

'Y/n? It's the middle of the night, what's wrong? You kind of caught me in the middle of something.'

"Should I call you another time?" She asked.

'Uh, no it's ok. I have some time to...kill. So, what's up?'

"Well, I had a...bad...dream."

'Oh? What was it about?'

She blushed.

"Well, it was weird. I dreamt that you were the Riddler and you..."

She trailed, there was no way she was going to admit she had a wet dream about him. Fat fucking chance.

"...you were really scary."

Edward smirked, looking through the scope of the rifle. Still no sign of Falcone. Fuck.

'Really? Well, that's weird. I bet it was scary indeed.' He feigned curiosity.

"Yeah..."

'Well, it's ok now. It was just a 'bad dream'.' He cooed, emphasizing the last two words.

Y/n raised an eyebrow, unsure of why he did that. But, Edward knew she was lying about the dream. He didn't doubt that she had a dream where he was the Riddler, though. Throughout their time hanging out, he had been leaving extremely subtle clues. Subliminal messages that would lead y/n onto his trail. But, he could easily tell when y/n was lying. When she lied, she had a habit of trailing off on words or adding emphasis to them. He could see right through her. He knew what the dream truly was. Maybe not the full context, but he knew what it was about.

"Sorry, I just wanted to call you. You always help me calm down."

'Of course, y/n. I'd do anything for you. And I mean anything.' He chuckled to himself as the clubs of the door opened.

"What are you doing Edward?"

'Shhh, you'll make me miss.' Edward giggled.

"Miss? Miss wh-"

The sound of a gunshot rang through the phone, echoing throughout the block as well. Y/n shot out of bed, running towards the window. Looking down, she saw cops around 44 Below. A street light shone down on a body and y/n gasped when she saw Bruce. Her eyes flickered towards Edward's window. There it was.

A sniper rifle.

"Edward!?"

'Oh, not now rabbit, I've got to run! I'll see you soon...'

The call hung up. Y/n stood there, phone limply held in her hand. She dropped it to the ground, seeing Bruce run into Edward's apartment. Her heart sunk in her chest, falling into the pit of her stomach. She was right about Edward.

And now he killed Falcone.

#writers #fanfic writer #writers of tumblr #fanfic #dc universe #the riddler #paul dano #edward nashton #dano riddler #paul dano riddler #danonation #danonator #danocel #the batman

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fang-and-feather · 14 days

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It's the middle of the month and I haven't posted at least one of the requests I was supposed to start this month...

Well, I started a few of them, but I made the unfortunate decision of trying to focus on the one I was having the most difficulty with, and then started an entirely different training fic to get more familiar with a character I didn't expect to have so much difficulty getting right..

#an update about the requests #also me reminding myself i am making progress #and that i should think more strategically next time #also there might be two or three unrelated projects on the way #they were also not expected

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ickadori · 5 months

Text

++ 𝐘𝐔𝐉𝐈/𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐔𝐍𝐀

[summary] during a playful fight between you and yuji, sukuna decides to make an appearance and air out yuji’s dirty secrets.

[cws] fem reader. dubcon. lewd use of sukuna’s tummy mouth. exhibitionism -> you’re in public but no one is around. one mention of a misogynist comment from sukuna. yuji thinks about you a lot. unedited.

“Do you …hah, do you give up yet?” Yuji pants as he has you pinned underneath him, sweat dripping off the ends of his hair and landing on your forehead.

You’d cringe and shrink away if you weren’t so determined to win this mock fight (never mind that you were drenched in your own sweat, as well).

“Absolutely not.” You grit out, hips futilely bucking up to try and get him off you. He barely budges, even having the nerve to laugh as he watches you struggle. You can hear Nobara booing quite enthusiastically, while Megumi grumbles about being late for class and having to hear ‘Gojo’s annoying mouth’.

“Ya know you’re not gonna win, so just give up already and agree to hosting movie night in my dorm this time!”

“Never! No one wants to stare at pin-up posters all night, plus your tv is too small, and your bed always smells like Doritos, and—”

“Geez, just say you hate me, why don’t you.” He rolls his eyes, going to sit back on his haunches as he stays straddling your waist. You kiss at your teeth, trying once more to buck him up while simultaneously bringing your hands up and shoving at his stomach. “And my bed does not smell like Doritos! Does it?” He snaps his head over to look at Nobara and Megumi.

“The cool ranch ones.” Nobara says, and Megumi nods in agreement. “Aka, the nastiest flavor.” Yuji gasps dramatically.

“That’s the best flavor! How dare you…” As he bickers back and forth with Nobara, you focus a little cursed energy into your hands. “…says the girl who eats pickles with whipped cream like she’s pregnant or someth—!”

In the blink of an eye you’ve got Yuji on his back as you straddle his stomach, a triumphant grin on your face as you keep your hands on his shoulders to keep him pinned flat against the ground. “Aha!”

“That’s cheating!” Yuji frowns up at you.

“No, it isn’t! It’s called strategizing.”

“Cheating!”

“I’m going to class.” Megumi begins to walk off, hands stuffed in his pockets, and you shout after him.

“Movie night is in my dorm!”

“Hey!” Yuji interrupts.

“Bring good snacks only!” You finish, and then Nobara is the next to go, jogging to catch up with Megumi as she flashes the both of you an amused grin.

“Cheater.” Yuji grumbles once it’s just you two, and you snicker as you let go of his shoulders and sit up, not bothering to stand up just yet. “Using cursed energy against your friend… you should be ashamed.”

“You literally threw a spear at me yesterday and it almost killed me.”

“That’s different! We were training, and I didn’t mean to throw it that hard.” His expression turned sheepish as he avoided your eyes, and you pursed your lips as you tapped his nose with the pad of your index finger. He wriggled it in response, and you softly laughed as you did it again.

“It’s fine, just know that you had it coming when I try to kill you in the future, mkay?” He blinks up at you.

“You’re creepy, you know that?”

“Says the boy with a third eyeball on his cheek.” This time you do cringe, watching as the red eye blinks open before settling on you.

“Wha—Sukuna!” Yuji snaps, hand moving to slap over the eye and cover it. “You should probably go now before he fully wakes up … you know how he is.” A pink hue bleeds into Yuji’s cheeks as he averts his eyes, and you feel your own face warm as you nod.

“Yeah,” you agree. Sukuna had always been insufferable from the moment you befriended Yuji, always piping up with mean, critiquing comments that bordered on being cruel. The comments had started with him bashing your fighting skills during your trainings with Yuji, quips of ‘you’re so slow - it’s a wonder you aren’t dead yet’, or ‘women on the battlefield is a bad fucking joke - hasn’t anyone ever taught you your place’, or ones that had left you teary-eyed and which you refuse to repeat.

Yeah, Sukuna was an asshole, which wasn’t a surprise to anyone, and you’d rather not have your day ruined before you even made it to your first class.

“I’ll see you tonight, Yuji.” You place your hands on his chest, about to use him to push yourself up to your feet, but a low, raspy voice has you stopping in your tracks.

“You’re sitting on my mouth.” Sukuna abruptly says, and you blink in confusion, your eyes flitting between Yuji’s and where you’re sitting.

“What?”

“Y-You should go now,” Yuji tries, but Sukuna is talking again and drowning him out.

“Your pussy, that hot thing between your legs, it’s on my mouth. See?” Something moves underneath you, and you flinch at the sound of fabric tearing before a yelp is leaving your mouth when something thick, damp and warm is pushing up between your legs and pressing against your clothed cunt. “You should be careful where you put that thing, y’know.”

He talks through the mouth on Yuji’s hand, and your fingers curl into the fabric of his shirt as Sukuna swipes his tongue against you again, his saliva wetting the fabric of your underwear.

“Sukuna, st—”

“Sit back and shut up.” Yuji falls silent in an instant, and a wave of panic washes over you when you see his eyes gloss over and his head fall back against the grass, black markings etching their way onto his face. A grin stretches across his face, and hands move to lock around your hips, fingers pushing into your flesh as he makes sure you can’t go anywhere. “That’s better.”

“Y-Yuji?” You sound breathless, and you gasp when his tongue worms its way past your panties to swipe in-between your folds. “Yuji!”

“Relax,” he rolls his eyes, “the brat is still here. Watching and listening, he’s not gonna miss a thing, don’t you worry.” You don’t know if that’s worse or better—Yuji being aware of what’s happening, being able to see your face contort each time that tongue flicks at your clit, being able to hear the noises you try and fail to subdue.

“Stop,” your voice sounds weak to your own ears, and Sukuna guffaws, tongue forcing its way up into your cunt, the action eliciting a lewd squelch as he rubs against your walls.

“Stop.” He parrots back at you, hands tightening around your hips, and you duck your head down when his tongue leaves your hole to instead focus its attention back on your clit. “I don’t know what the brat gets all worked up about—yeah, you’ve got a sweet pussy and a nice pair of tits, but you’re a real fuckin’ tease. Rolling around with a boy in that flimsy little skirt and grinding your cunt up against him. Tch.”

“I wasn—Sukuna!” You jump when his teeth graze against your folds, the thought of him possibly biting you making a shiver of fear run up your spine.

“He wants to fuck you.” He couples the reveal with a harsh suck. “Fuck this cunt that I’m tonguing down - the pervert can’t go five minutes in a room with you without thinking about it.” Your ears burn as a fresh wave of slick rushes out of you, thighs trembling where they rest around his thick waist. “He’s too worried about scaring you off to do anything about it, though… but I don’t think he has anything to worry about, does he? Look at you.”

A whimper leaves your mouth, and you quickly sink your teeth into your bottom lip, not succeeding in blocking out the slurping, tacky sounds coming from between your legs. You want to stand up, get his mouth away from you so you can think straight, because your mind is all jumbled and fuzzy and screwy, and his words, his crude words that always made your skin hot and your stomach churn, is making it churn for another reason now.

“Won’t you give him a show, hm?” You barely register his words, and you yelp when his hand makes contact with your ass, fingers kneading at the doughy flesh as he repeats his earlier words. “Take your tits out.”

“No,” you warble, your hands weakly pushing at his wrists, a poor attempt to get him to stop moving your hips back and forth, forcing your cunt to side back and forth over his flattened tongue. “Sukuna, please.”

“Take ‘em out yourself, or I’ll do it for you and leave you to walk back to your dorm with nothing on.” You hesitate, eyes wet as you nervously lick at your lips, and when he makes a move for your shirt, you quickly begin to undo the buttons, fingers clumsy as they fumble repeatedly. “Good pet.”

Your blouse falls open as you undo the last button, revealing the pink bra you have on underneath, and you squeeze your eyes shut as you pull the cups of your bras down, fully exposing yourself Sukuna’s eyes .. and Yuji’s, too oh God.

The reminder that Yuji can see everything that’s happening sends a fleet of butterflies to your stomach, and you kick yourself mentally when you find yourself jutting out your chest just a bit. Does he like them, the thoughts zips through your mind, and you don’t have time to question where the hell it came from before hands are roughly squeezing at them, calloused fingers pinching and twisting at your nipples.

“Are they as good as you imagined, kid? Cause you imagine them a lot.” Sukuna smirks, and then he’s snapping his eyes up to yours. “You wanna know what he thinks about doing to them?” His tongue lazily laps at your folds, occasionally parting them to venture down to your clenching hole and take a dip inside before repeating the process.

Sukuna doesn’t wait for your answer.

“He thinks about putting his cock between them, pushing them together so it’s nice and tight and fucking them.” He demonstrates, hands pushing your breasts together, and you can’t help but watch his hands as they grope and fondle you. “Thinks about how they’d bounce when he’s got you riding his cock.” His hands leave your breasts to instead grip your hips, and you gasp when easily lifts you, just to drop you back down onto his tongue, the appendage sliding into your cunt and reaching deep.

“Sukuna!”

He continues to lift you up and down, forcing you to ride his tongue, and his eyes stay locked on your bouncing breasts, lips still fixed in that same smirk. “You gonna come?” You feel as if his words are directed at more than just you. He moves you faster, nails biting into your skin, and your face contorts into one of bliss as you hold onto his wrists as tight as you can, eyes fluttering shut as your pussy clamps down.

He pulls you down for the final time, mouth latched onto your cunt as you come, greedy gulps and sucks sounding as he swallows down your slick, his hands moving from your hips to your back. He roughly pulls you towards his face, and a whimper-y moan forces itself out of you as his lips wrap around a stiff nipple, teeth sinking in before he’s soothing the sting away with his tongue.

You sag against him, ragged breaths disturbing tufts of pink hair, and the aggressive sucking on your breast morphs into softer, gentler sucks, the nails that had been scratching at your back replaced with gentle caresses, and the tongue and mouth that had been abusing your now puffy and sore cunt is gone.

“Yuji.” You sigh, and he hums around you before his whole body goes stiff, tongue pausing its gentle swipe against your nipple, and hands slowly moving away from you. The heat against your chest is sweltering, and you push yourself up on shaky arms, tiredly blinking down at his red face.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t know he would do that or say those things! I-I don’t even know why he said all those things, I don’t think about you like that, I swear!” He goes off into a tangent, eyes darting between your face and your breasts, and you sigh again before leaning back down to push your lips against his.

The kiss is chaste and quick, and when you pull back your face is as hot as his, and you become acutely aware of your state of dress, hands fumbling to fix your bra and redo your shirt as you avert your gaze.

“What was that for?”

“You… you wouldn’t stop talking.” You defend as you fix the last button, and then you’re struggling to your feet before Yuji finally frees himself from his stupor and helps you. He pulls away from you and takes a few steps back, the both of you staring at each other in silence for a bit, and your eyes widen when you see his shirt has been ripped away around the stomach, the skin there wet from you and his happy trail glistening with your juices.

“I-”

“You-”

“Sorry, you go.” You both interrupt each other again.

“He-”

“We-”

You heave out a breath as he groans, and when he goes to say something else to wave your hands back and forth, stopping him short. “Let’s never talk about this again.”

“Oh… okay! Yeah! Okay! Lips are sealed.” He motions to lock his lips and throw away the key, and you can’t help but smile just a bit.

“Okay.” You nod, hands twisting together, and there’s another uncomfortable silence before he speaks up again.

“I can, um, walk you to class?”

“Oka—oh, your shirt.” You gesture to his ruined uniform, and he looks down as his eyebrows raise.

“How’d that happen—oh, yeah.” He looks at you, and you roll your lips into your mouth. “I guess I should change then.” You nod. “I’ll see you tonight then, right? For movie night?” Could you really sit through a movie with him after what Sukuna just did, after what he told you? An ache starts as you recall what he had revealed to you, and your eyes meet Yuji’s as you nod again.

“Yeah. Tonight.”

#yuji x reader #sukuna x reader #jjk x reader #jujitsu kaisen x reader #jjk smut

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lovingmattysposts · 3 months

Text

What do you think about when we kiss?

first time but with MATT

summary: you loved to kiss Matt, and Matt loved kissing you, but you couldn't help but feel the need of more the past week when his lips touched yours. You didn't know how Matt felt about, you guys had never done anything like this before.

warnings: smut (obv), a FLUFF smut, there is no down and dirty moments, female!receiving, p in v, mentions of blood, virgin alerttttt

He stared down at me before placing his lips onto mine. I smiled as we laid against his sheets, his hands placed strategically against my cheeks as our lips moved together slowly. It was our favorite past time, kissing. Just our lips together in his room, every now and then mumbling something to each other softly before his lips were against mine again.

Our lips would get sore enough when he would roll over and ask me about my day and we would just talk and listen to each other. It was sweet. There wasn't anything I loved more than my relationship with Matt.

His shy demanor and his sweet smile. Holding my hand constantly, he claims to reassure me but sometimes I think it's to reassure himself. It was cute, it was Matt. I loved the crap out of him.

I laid flat against his bed as he laid next to me, up on his elbows, hovering over me slightly as he kissed me. We've been dating a few months now, he told me he loved me a few weeks ago for the first time. But lately I've been thinking about more. More Matt. More to do with Matt.

The past week, all i've been thinking about is everytime he kissed me, his hands moved either from my face or to lazily wrap around my waist. I've never brought up doing anything more than kissing. Mostly because I was scared, I'd never done anything like that before. Neither has he. We both had no idea what we were doing.

He slipped his tonuge into my mouth before fully climbing over me, making me smile as his nose passed mine, our lips never disconnecting. I wanted to bring it up to him, I did. But I didn't want to push him farther than he wanted to go. I didn't even know what he thought about when he was kissing me.

He smiled. I guess that was a good thing.

I broke apart our kiss and he smiled down at me. "You're cute" He whispered pressing his nose to mine. I just smiled until my cheeks turned red. He brought his lips to mine again softly before fully collapsing against me, pressing his face into my shoulder.

I sighed as my hands came across his back, running my hands over him as he sighed. "My shins are killing me" He mumbled into my neck. I chuckled under him. "Your shins?" I questioned looking down at the brown headed boy who was pressing his entire weight on me, collasped.

"Yes" He laughed. I continued my hands under his shirt as I massaged his back softly. He hummed into me. "Coach had me running drill after drill" He complained, his voice slightly muffled. He leaned his head up sighing, looking down at me. "The only thing keeping me going was knowing you were gonna come over after practice" He smiled pecking my lips softly.

He stared down at me for a second before placing his lips back on mine and kissing me slowly. I breathed into him as we kissed. I pressed my face harder against him and he matched me.

Maybe I should say something.

I pulled back as he looked dumbly at me, his lips parted. "Matt?" I whispered. "Yeah?" He answered back. I let out a breath, he leaned up slightly smiling.

"What?" He smiled. I looked off to the side and then back at him. "Do you like kissing me?" I asked softly. He blinked at me before smiling. He leaned down pressing his lips to the side of my face.

"I love kissing you" He smiled against me. I smiled as he kissed the side of my face. "Matt" I said again. He leaned up laughing. "What?" He asked pressing his nose to mine. I blinked at him.

"What do you feel when you're kissing me?" I whispered. His eyebrows furrowed, leaning from me. "What do you mean?" He asked. "Like--" I sighed. "What are you thinking about when you kiss me?" I asked, genuinely curious. He smiled.

"I think about how pretty you are" He said pressing his hand to my face, moving his thumb across my face. "And how much I love you" He said against my lips, making me light on fire. "It makes me happy" He smiled.

Whenever I was around him, I felt like I was floating. Like everything was fuzzy, in the best way possible. And when he looked at me, it was like the whole world was still. His blue eyes peering into mine, so close to me.

"No not like that, like other things" I sighed, he fell against me and sighed. "Do you get what I'm saying?" I asked feeling nerves come up my neck. He shook his head against me. "Just tell me because I'm so lost" He mumbled.

"Do you like..." I trailed off as he looked up at me. He just watched me, his eyes following mine as I spoke. "Ever wanna like..." I swallowed. "Y/n spit it out" He chuckled. I crackled my knuckles and licked my lips as I looked at him.

"Like touch me?" I whispered. His smile dropped as he stared at me. "Do you ever wanna touch me when we kiss?" I asked blinked at him. He parted his lips and his eyes trailed off. "Um" He swallowed as he shifted against me.

"Like...touch you how?" He asked meeting my eyes again, just a little more hesitant now. God, I hope I didn't just screw this up. I stared at him, my heart starting to beat faster.

"Like...me" I mumbled, staring at him. He looked back at me, his eyebrows slightly raised and his mouth thinned. "Do you...want me to?" He asked softly. "Like touch you?" He almost whispered as his eyes slightly trailed down my body then back up to my eyes. We both looked at each other.

"Sometimes" I whispered honestly. He swallowed before licking his lips, leaning up raising his hands, hovering over me. "Do you ever want to touch me?" I whispered. He looked up at me. "I mean yeah, I do" He said nodding. "I just don't know how to, my hands are shaky" He breathed staring at me his hands slightly shaking

The corners off my mouth trailed up as he looked at me, letting out a small laugh. He smiled embarrassingly looking away. "There's not a right or wrong way Matt" I chuckled. He smiled and shook his head. I pulled on his shirt.

"Come here" I whispered as I pulled him towards me. He smiled as he leaned back over me and pressed his lips to mine. We smiled as we kissed, and his hands came to my waist. Frozen there.

I kissed him harder before placing my own hands over his and pulling them over my sides. He breathed in as the action slightly pulled my shirt up with the movements. I leaned up on my elbows, him following my shift as my shirt was now scrunched up under my bra, both our hands against it.

I moved my hands away, leaving his hands on my bare skin alone. His fingers lifted off me slightly. "Matt" I mumbled in-between his lips. He kissed me harder as his hands moved over the skin that was now exposed. He smiled against me before his finger trailed the lining of my bra.

"Gross"

Matt's eyes went wide as he pushed off of me. I pulled my shirt down as I sat up seeing Nick and Chris walking through the door before jumping on Matt's bed with us. I looked over at Matt seeing his face blood red.

"Guys" Matt said looking at his brothers. Chris shoved some chips in his mouth from the bag he was holding as he picked up the remote to the tv.

"What? You said when we were done showering we could get on the game" He mumbled as his attention was directed to the tv.

"Where's the other remote?" Nick mumbled as he walked around the room. Matt let out a breath as he hung his head. I let out a laugh as I pulled my knees to my chest.

"I told you y/n was coming over" Matt mumbled. Chris turned around and looked between us. "Dude, makeout with your girlfriend later. They just released a new map" Chris said as Nick threw him a controller.

Matt took in a breath and glanced over to me. I sighed and laid against his pillows. Nick threw Matt a control. "Sorry y/n, duty calls" Nick said looking over at me. I smiled and shook my head.

"Duty" Chris chuckled. Matt sighed and shook his head, clearly embarrassed from his brothers. "I'm sorry" Matt said leaning over and laying his head on my shoulder, staring off at the screen. I looked down at him and shook my head.

"It’s okay, we’ll just continue later” I whispered so only he could hear. His eyes shifted slowly up to mine, with a blank stare.

“Matt, are you loading up?” Chris snapped his head around. Matt looked over to him before kicking him in the back. “Fuck, ow!” Chris glared at him. “I’m gonna fucking kill you” He mumbled, making me chuckle.

The rest of the night I just watched as Nick, Matt, and Chris screamed at the tv. Every now and then I would look over at Matt who’s mind seemed to be somewhere else, dying almost every round and mumbling a quick “sorry”

I smiled and shook my head every time he would glance back at me. He sighed and slumped back as he looked back at the tv, clearly the last thing he wanted to be doing was playing videos games.

For what felt like the 100th time, they all died. “Matt! That was fucking—oh my god!” Chris yelled. Matt sighed as he turned over to me. “Okay, get out” he motioned to Chris and Nick while looking at me.

“Hey no, I’m sorry I was kidding. Come on, one more round” Chris said turning and looking at us. Matt smiled up at me as he grabbed my knee.

“No, get out” he threw the controller at Nick. “Ow, what did I do?” Nick said holding his arm from where the controller hit him. Matt climbed over to me before laying against my shoulder.

“Get outttt” He groaned against my shoulder, his voice slightly muffled. I smiled up at Nick and Chris. “Chris come on” Nick stood up hitting Chris’s shoulder. Chris groaned as he stood up.

“Stop stealing my brother” Chris glared at me jokingly. I chuckled as Matt’s head raised and he glared at Chris. “I’m kidding—I’m kidding” Chris said running out of the room. Matt smiled as his head came down against me again. The door shut leaving us alone again.

I sighed and leaned against him. My hand going up to his hair. He lifted his head and looked at me. I kissed the top of his head.

“I have to go” I said looking down at him. He shot up. “What? No” He whined coming back over me and kissing me. I laughed turning my head. “Matt, it’s 11. I have a curfew” I said as he attacked my face.

He sighed as he buried his face into my neck. “I’m gonna kill Chris and Nick” he mumbled. I chuckled. He lifted his head.

“I wanna touch you” He whispered. I raised my eyebrows. “Oh? Now you wanna touch me?” I chuckled looking at him. He hung his head. “Will you still let me touch you tomorrow?” He mumbled. I smiled and nodded making him lift his head.

He sighed as his hands came over me moving his hands under my bra, just looking at me.

“Like dead in the ground. I’m going to be an only child” He mumbled. I laughed and shook my head. “What about Justin?” I asked. He rolled his eyes.

“You get what I’m saying” He said kissing me softy. I kissed him back softly. He parted our lips put pressed his forehead against mine.

“When you say touch…” he trailed off. I just looked at him. “Like” His eyes looked between us. I stared at him. He swallowed. “Like, this?” He asked his hands moving his hands against my sides.

“Or not like this?” He paused his movements. I smiled up at him pecking his lips. “I’ve gotta go” I sighed pushing him off of me and sitting up. “Y/n” He said making me turn around. He stared up at me hopelessly, clueless.

I leaned over kissing his cheek. “You’re cute, figure it out” I whispered before standing up and grabbing my bag. He just watched me.

“Can-Can you be late to curfew?” He asked as I walked towards the door. I smiled as I grabbed the handle. “Goodnight, Matt” I shook my head smiling. He whined as he fell against his bed as I closed the door.

Well at least I know it’s not one sided.

“Hey” Matt smiled down at me. I smiled up at him as he looked down at me. He was a little too smiley. “Hello Matthew” I chuckled. He just smiled down at me.

I glanced inside his house. “Can I come in?” I chuckled. His eyebrows raised and he pushed the door fully open. “Yeah-yeah sorry” He chuckled as he moved aside.

I smiled and shook my head. It was my fault, I got the boy all riled up, but I wasn’t complaining. I turned and looked at him. He was still smiling.

“Stop smiling you’re scaring me” I chuckled looking at him. He shook his head and pursed his lips. “Sorry” He mumbled as he walked up to me. “You look pretty” He mumbled leaning down and kissing the top of my head.

I smiled as I leaned against him and wrapping my arms around him. “Where’s Chris and Nick?” I mumbled. “At a hockey game with my parents” He said softly. My lips curved into a smile.

“Hm” I hummed against his chest. “Hm” He hummed back. I lifted my head and looked up at him. “Why do I feel like that was strategically planned?” I smiled up at him. He chuckled and shrugged.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about” He smiled shaking his head. I rolled my eyes. “I got you something” He said grabbing my hand. I looked up at him. “Yeah?” I smiled. He nodded as he led me up the stairs.

I just walked after him as we made it to his room. He pushed the door open and there were small candles lit for lighting on the side tables and soft music playing in the background. My mouth parted as I looked over at Matt.

“You didn’t” I let out a chuckle. He smiled as he walked over to his dresser and picked up flowers before handing them to me. I took in a breath as I took them out of his hands.

“Matt” I sighed as I brought the bouquet up to my nose. “They are beautiful” I sighed shaking my head. “I got the ones that reminded me of you” He said grabbing my hand. I shook my head.

“Can you stop being corny now?” I chuckled. He smiled and shook his head. “Sorry” He mumbled. I shook my head stepping up on my toes pressing my lips to his.

“I love this, I love you. You’re the most perfect boyfriend ever” I whispered. He smiled and kissed me. “Who’s corny now?” He said raising his eyebrows.

“Still you, the candles are still lit” I motioned to the candles on the table. He laughed and shook his head. I reached over and set the flowers down before kicking off my shoes and running and falling against his bed.

He just looked at me as I spread my arms around sighing. I leaned up on my elbows. “You coming or what?” I chuckled. He just looked at me a small smile on his face.

“You’re so beautiful” he whispered. I felt my face flush and I looked off to the side, feeling how red my face was. “Matt” I mumbled. He smiled walking over to the bed. “What?” He smiled as he climbed over me. I turned and looked at him.

“What?” He asked again as he looked down at me, his eyes scanning my face. His smile slowly dropped as his eyes trailed down to my lips, before pressing his lips to mine.

I kissed him back as his arms came under my elbows pressing me agaisnt the mattress. I breathed in as his hands came against my hips moving his thumbs softly agaisnt my skin.

I breathed in as I shifted beneath him, pressing my hand on the back of his neck as his lips moved against mine. He pushed his tongue into my mouth and I matched him.

He gripped my shirt in his hands and pushed it up. I leaned up causing his lips to come off me before I pulled the bottom of my shirt up over my head.

Matt just sat up and watched me as I threw the shirt of his bed and looked up at him. His eyes scaled me and I felt goosebumps come on my arms. He’d never seen me without a shirt on before.

I picked out what I thought was my cutest bra, but it wasn’t anything special. It wasn’t anything lacey. It was just my newest cleanest bra, and I was praying it was enough.

He just stared down at me. I swallowed feeling the silence in the room. “It’s not much but it’s—“

He cut me off by pulling me towards him, kissing me harder. I chuckled against his lips. “You’re-“ He stopped staring at me. “Wow” He smiled. I just shook my head as he laid me back down against the bed.

He shifted above me as his lips overtook mine. I almost forgot was the purpose of this was, getting so lost in his lips like I usually do. But I realized when his hands shook against my waist.

I grabbed his hands before trailing them up my body. He leaned back from our kiss and watched our hands as I brought them up to my chest. His hands froze over me, as I released my hands.

His thumbs moved over my breasts slowly as he just looked at them. “Have you always had these?” He glanced up at me, making me chuckle. “Matt” I said catching his stare.

“Are you scared to feel me up?” I smiled. He shook his head. “No, I just….wanna look at them.” He said looking back down. I rolled my eyes as my hand came up to his face.

“You can take my bra off Matt” I chuckled. His eyes shot up to mine. “I can?” He asked quickly. I nodded. He reached behind me, slightly fumbling with the clasp.

I just watched him as his eyebrows furrowed. “Is there like a code to this? What the fuck is going on?” He laughed. I shook my head as I reached behind me and unclasped my bra.

He looked up at me.

“How did you do that so easily?” He asked blinking at me. I laughed as the straps fell down my shoulders. “Matt, I’ve been doing this since I was 12” I said leaning up on my shoulders. His eyes went wide.

“You got those when you were 12?” He whispered. I laughed at him and shook my head. “Geez, where the hell was I?” He breathed. I rolled my eyes.

“Probably off somewhere playing some video games with your brothers” I mumbled as I shook my bra off and threw it onto the floor. He stared shamelessly down at my chest. Not blinking as his mouth parted.

“Video….wha-?” He breathed as he stared. I chuckled at his reaction. “Matt” I said again. His eyes snapped up to mine. “Sorry—I wasn’t objectifying you” He stuttered quickly. I bit back a laugh as I shook my head at my innocent boyfriend.

“Matt” I breathed. He blinked at me. “Yeah?” He whispered. “Touch me please” I whispered. He nodded before his hands came over my chest, gripping them softly.

I took in a breath as his lips came onto my neck as his hands moved over my chest. His fingers came over my nipples and pinched them, making me arch into him and whine.

He took in a breath.

“Where’d you learn that?” I breathed surprised from how good that actually felt. He lifted his head. “I asked Chris” He said blankly. I just stared at him my face going red. “You—what?” Shock coming across my face.

“I asked Chris what to do” He said as if I didn’t understand him the first time. My eyes went wide. “Chris knows what-what we’re doing right now?” I said breathless. He sighed.

“He told me he wanted a better reason that ‘I just wanted him to leave tonight’” He stated making me shut my eyes of embarrassment. “Oh god” I whined, leaning my head back.

“Wanna see what else he taught me?”

I blinked my eyes open at him seeing him smiling his eyes hooded. He leaned down kissing the base of my throat before trailing down between my chest and kissing the top of my breast softly.

I took in a breath as I stared at the ceiling. He trailed his lips around my breast before taking a nipple into his mouth and biting softly.

I moaned into his touch, placing my hand on his head. He smiled against me, as his other hand worked on the other one.

Chris, I owe you one.

“Matt” I breathed breathless as he continued to leave sloppy kisses around my boobs. He finally lifted his head and smiled down at me before placing his lips on mine again. I kissed him back hungrily.

I felt his hand move down to my stomach before he parted from me. His confidence started to dwindle in front of me. “Do you want me to…” He breathed slowly. I licked my lips and looked down at his hand resting against my stomach.

I glanced up at him.

“If you don’t want to you don’t-“

“Do you want me to?”

I blinked at him. I was too worked up to stop now. I nodded. “So badly” I whispered. His eyes glossed over as he looked down at me. He looked between us before hooking his fingers around my waistband of my sweatpants.

“Can I take this off? Is that okay?” He asked looking up at me. I nodded as I looked up at the ceiling. A few seconds later I felt him pull down my sweatpants before I kicked them off my legs.

He leaned up pressing his forehead to mine. “I’m so glad you’re my girlfriend Y/n” he smiled down at me. I let out a chuckle. “I love you” I whispered. He pressed his lips to mine.

“Do-Do you know what you’re doing?” I asked quickly. He blinked at me and shrugged before nodding. I stared at him.

“I watched some videos” He breathed. I furrowed my eyebrows. “Huh?” I whispered. He closed his eyes his face going red. “I watched a video on how it works, what to do, what not to do. The lady explaining it was pretty helpful, but I guess we won’t know for sure until—“ He mumbled.

“You watched like…an informational video? On the female body?” I said chuckling. He nodded laughing slightly.

Most boys went to porn to see what to do, Matt Sturniolo looked up a video on someone explaining how to do it.

“Is that really weird? It wasn’t like—it didn’t show anything—it was more like a diagram of—“

I leaned up pressing my lips to his. “I love you so much” I whispered. He smiled and nodded before leaning up. His hand paused when it was right above my underwear.

“Just—“ He paused.

“Just tell me if I hurt you, or if something doesn’t feel good—or if you want me to stop or anything” He blinked up at me. I felt his fingers shaking against my lower stomach.

“You’re acting like you’re the nervous one, I’m the one about to have fingers inserted in me” I said as I shifted underneath him, starting to feeling the pressure of the situation.

He chuckled.

“Okay I’m sorry, I’ll just….go” He mumbled before he pushed his fingers under my underwear. I took in a breath as my eyes were trained on the ceiling.

“You shaved”

“Matt”

“Sorry”

He leaned over me before pressing his lips on the side of my face before his fingers pushed in between me. I swallowed and closed my eyes.

“Wow, you’re…” I felt his breath against my neck. “really turned on right now” He mumbled. I chuckled at his choice of words instead of ‘wet’.

He pushed his fingers between me. Wow, this was a really werid feeling. Matt’s hands were inside of me right now.

He moved back and forth for a second before he hit something making my legs twitch and bend. He smiled against me.

“Ha, found it”

“Matthew”

“Sorry, I’m sorry”

He leaned up looking down at me. I looked away from him feeling my face like up. “Please look at me” He whispered. I glanced to his eyes as he stared down at me.

I felt him start to move in small circles around the area making me shake slightly at the new feeling. Once my body got used to it I stopped twitching so much as the pleasure set in.

I moaned as his circles moved faster against me. I arched into his hand and my head fell back and he just watched me.

“Oh my—-Matt-Matt” I mumbled as I squeezed my eye closed. This felt way too good. I shifted beneath him as I felt the pleasure, almost too much to handle because I wasn’t used to it.

I moaned my body craving more. “Fuck” I turned my head. His motions stopped for a second before pushing down me. I blinked my eyes open seeing him still looking down at me, his hair flopped in front of his face.

His emotions plastered across his face, as well as mine I’m sure. It gave me a second to breath before I felt his fingers push completely into me.

“Ow—Matt—“ I said feeling pain spike through me. “Sorry—that was two, do you want me to start with one?” he said pulling out of me quickly. I nodded quickly. He leaned down pressing his lips to mine.

“I’m sorry” He said softly. I shook my head. “Matt, please keep going” I whined. He blinked at me for a second. “Matt” I stated. He shook his head. “Sorry, right. That was just—really..hot” He smiled shaking his head.

I shook my head smiling before he pushed a finger into me. I took in a breath as he kept pushing into me for what felt like forever.

“Fuck, you have long fingers” I whispered. He pressed his face into my neck. “If you keep saying things like that I’m gonna finish in my pants” He chuckled, making me smile before it dropped feeling him pull out of me and push back in.

I grabbed his arm as I swallowed.

Holy shit.

He moved faster making me let out breathy moans. One finger wasn’t enough. “Need more” I mumbled. He lifted his head quickly. “You want another one?” He asked. I pressed my lips together before humming, unable to speak.

He nodded before pushing a second one into me making my knees pull up from the pressure. I moaned pressing my face into his arm that was next to my head.

He started off slow for a second before pushing into me faster. I leaned forward feeling a pit start to form in my stomach. “Fuck, Matt” I whined. He pushed into me at a new angle curling his fingers over and over.

He really did watch a video.

“You’re so beautiful” He whispered against my face. I would blush, if I could focus on anything other than the knot forming in my stomach from the pleasure. Matt let out a breath against me.

A thought crossed my head before guilt ran down me on the fact that he was doing this for me and I was leaving him to fend for himself. I felt like if we were going to do this, we were going to do this, together.

"Matt-Matt-stop" I breathed quickly. He looked up at me before lifting off of me and stopping his motions completely, pulling his hand out of my underwear. "Did I-Did I hurt? Was something wrong?" He asked frantically looking down at me.

I just looked up at him as he looked down at me. I shook my head attempting to catch my breath. He just blinked at me. "Did you...Did you finish?" He asked quietly. I smiled and shook my head.

"Oh" He breathed looking down. "Was it bad?" He asked glancing up at me again. I chuckled and shook my head, grabbing his hand. "Matt, I wanna do this together" I whispered pulling him to me. He just stared at me, looking into my eyes.

"What?" His voice broke slightly. "Like...." He looked down between us. "…What?" He smiled shaking his head, not fully understanding what I was saying.

"Can we--Do you wanna--" I shook my head. "....have sex?" I asked softly. He stared at me, his eye widening. "If not that's okay too--I just wanted to ask just in case you thought that I-" I said frantic from his reaction.

"You wanna have sex with me?" He breathed cutting me off. I blinked at him. His lips curved into a smile. "Really?" He smiled. I nodded. He sat up slightly.

"Wow, okay. I wasn't really--uh" He said shaking his head. "I-Have you even seen a dick before?" He asked scratching the top of his head. My eyes went wide. "Uh, yeah like in pictures and stuff" I mumbled.

He furrowed his eyebrows.

"Who the fuck is sending you dick pics?" He asked chuckling. "No! No one--I was just saying" I said leaning up and grabbing his face. He smiled at me as we just looked at each other.

"You really wanna do this?" He whispered. I nodded smiling. He smiled and kissed me. "I love you" He mumbled as we kissed. He leaned up before pulling his shirt off.

I glanced down his chest and he smiled and shook his head as he leaned down kissing me again. I pulled back. "How much time do we have?" I whispered looking at him. He glanced over to the side table where his alarm clock was.

"About 30 minutes" He said looking back at me. I nodded letting out a breath. "Trust me, I'm not gonna last long" He mumbled before kissing me. I smiled against his lips and he leaned up unhooking his belt.

I just watched him.

"Wait, we don't have any condoms" I said looking at him. He smiled licking his lips. "I'm a boy, of course I have condoms" He smiled as the belt slipped through the loops and he threw it on the floor. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Who the fuck are you buying condoms for?" I chuckled. He smiled looking down at me. "You" He breathed softly. I shook my head. "When did you buy condoms?" I asked. He shrugged. "Yesterday, I didn't know how this was gonna end so I came prepared" He chuckled as he unbuttoned his jeans.

I rolled my eyes. "So you knew this was gonna happen?" I swallowed. He paused before shaking his head. "No, y/n, no. I just thought for maybe in the future if you ever wanted to, I wasn't planning any of this. Please don't think that" He said looking down at me, pressing his hand against my face.

I smiled softly.

"Sucks, would have let you hit raw" I smirked. He froze. "What condoms? I don't have any condoms" He said shaking his head. I laughed before pushing his chest. "Matt, go get them" I chuckled. He smiled before reaching over me and pulling his drawer open and pulling them out.

He leaned down before pulling off his jeans and discarding them on the floor. My eyes drifted down to his tight white Calvin Klein boxers. "Woah" I mumbled to myself as I stared at him, shamelessly.

"My eyes are up here sweetheart" He chuckled from above me. I glanced up at him, red in the face. He shook his head as he came over me again kissing me softly.

"You seriously want to do this?" He whispered. I swallowed nodding. "I didn't watch a video on this part" He smiled, making me laugh. "It's okay" I shook my head pushing his brown hair out of his face. He smiled sheepishly at me.

"Fuck, I have no idea what the hell I'm doing" He smiled. I closed my eyes and shook my head. "Me either" I whispered, just admiring his smile. He let out a breath placing his head against my chest.

"Should we--get a towel incase there’s blood?" I breathed. He lifted his head. "Blood?" His eyes widened. I chuckled and nodded. "Matt the hymen rips and sometimes there's blood" I explained.

"The what rips?" He stared at me in shock. I shook my head. "Forget about it" I said smiling. "Oh my god" he breathed. "Matt" I groaned. He looked up at me. "You gonna fuck me or what?" I chuckled. He smiled before pecking my lips.

"No, I'm gonna make love to you"

I rolled my eyes. "Corny" I joked. He rolled his eyes before moving down me and hooking the band of my underwear and rolling it down me. The pressure of the situation in front of me set in again.

It's Matt. It's just Matt, just try to relax. You love Matt. You trust Matt.

"Are you okay?"

I glanced down at him and nodded. He smiled. "We don't have to do this y/n" He whispered. I shook my head. "I wanna do this with you, I love you so much" I smiled up at him. He nodded slowly. "I'm just a little nervous" I said placing my hands on the back of his neck.

He nodded. "It's okay, that's normal. I'll go slow. If anything hurts, just tell me okay? If you want me to stop, I'll stop. Just don't worry okay? I've got you" He smiled shaking his head. I smiled as his words sunk into me.

"Okay" I smiled. "Okay" He breathed pecking my lips. He leaned up before pushing down his boxers, my eyes sprung up to his. He took in a breath before pulling them off of him and looking up.

Matt's dick was right in front of me.

He glanced down at me. I didn't look anywhere but his eyes. "Look at you, so respectful" He mumbled kissing the corner of my mouth. He reached over before I heard the sound of a condom tearing and he reached between us.

"Wrap it before you tap it"

"Please, never say that again"

"Sorry"

I chuckled as he pressed his chest to mine.

"Are you okay? Are you ready?" He whispered. I nodded as I looked down at him. He reached over before grabbing my hand and interlacing our fingers and kissing the top of my hand.

"I love you so much Y/n"

"I love you" I whispered. He took in a breath before pushing my knees apart. I felt him line himself up with me and glance down at me.

"I don't want you to think that because we're doing this, that it means that everytime I kiss you I expect this to happen okay? I don't want you think that this will change how I treat you or--"

"Matt, I know. I know you. It's okay, I'm not worried" I chuckled. He smiled before nodding. "Okay, sorry, I just had to say that before I--" He swallowed and shook his head. "I'll stop talking" He mumbled pushing his face into my neck.

I took in a breath as he shifted on top of me and I felt him push in. I whined as I felt my body stretch to him. "Fuck" He breathed as he continued to push in.

"Ow" I cried from the pressure. Matt shot up. "Are you okay?" He asked quickly. I closed my eyes and nodded. "Are you all the way in?" I whispered. "Not really" he whispered. I sighed and swallowed.

"Keep going" I mumbled. He stared down at me as he continued to push inside of me contricting me to point where I thought I couldn't go. "Does it hurt?" He whispered. I attempted to take a breath.

"No" My voice broke. "Are you lying?" He asked breathing heavily. "Yes" I mustered out, he chuckled before pulling out. I sighed from the loss before he pushed back in again.

"Oh my god" He sighed as his elbow came beside my head. He pushed into me over and over. Our bodies moved together with the movements. The pain was almost unbearable, and I was waiting for the pleasure to come.

Then it did.

I shot my eyes open when I felt the rise in my stomach come again. I wrapped my arm around his back. "Matt" I moaned. I felt him twitch inside of me. "Fuck, don't say my name--I'll--I'll come" He said in between thrusts.

I pushed against him meeting his movements making him moan and press his face in my shoulder. God, what was I missing out on? I could feel every single inch of him inside of me with each movement. The pain was completely forgotten.

I felt the knot in my stomach.

"Faster" I whined. He took in a breath before he sped up his movements. We both moaned in unison as my knees came up from the pleasure. I blinked up at him, his eyes screwed shut, his hair plastered to his forehead as he continued to moan my name with almost every thrust.

"Y/n"

"Fuck, y/n"

That was it for me. I could tell he felt me finish because a half second later he whined as he felt against me. We both laid there as we laid limp against each other, trying to catch our breaths.

"I love you so much it hurts" He mumbled against me, making me smile. He leaned up before pulling out of me, making me wince before pulling off the condom and discarding it on the floor.

"Matt, that's gross" I chuckled still breathing heavily. He glared down at me. "You're gross" He said back. I looked up at him smiling. "No, you're gross" I laughed. He smiled as he grabbed me under my shoulders and picked me up before rolling us over.

"You're gross" He whispered an inch from my face before kissing me softly. I sighed as I fell against his chest and he wrapped his arms around me. "We can be gross together it's okay" He chuckled. I smiled and laughed.

"You're sure you didn't watch a video on that?" I said looking up at him. He smiled and pushed my hair out of my face. "I love you" He whispered pulling me against him again. I smiled as we laid there, my head against his shoulder, both of our breaths insync.

The door pushed open and Matt pulled the covers over me.

"Get out" Matt yelled harshly under me as I hid my face in his chest. "Fuck, sorry" Chris mumbled as the door closed. "In our house?" I heard Nick yell making me chuckle. I looked up at Matt who's gaze was hard, before he looked down at me and started to laugh with me.

"I didn't hear them get home" I mumbled. He smiled. "Yeah not over the sounds of your moans" He chuckled. I hit his chest shaking my head. "Alright big shot, get dressed" I sighed rolling off of him.

"Wait" He pulled my arm back, before looking down at my chest. "Okay, I'm good. Just taking a mental picture" He nodded before standing. I shook my head and laughed as I pulled my shirt over my head.

we had some explaining to do to Chris and Nick.

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#sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo smut #sturniolo fanfic #nicolas sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo

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neouture · 9 months

Text

Admiring You

Pairing — Jaemin x Reader

Words — 3,530 words

Genre — 18+, smut, fluff

Warnings — Fem!reader, established relationship. Use of petnames (Jaemin is whipped about being called “baby”), dirty talk, cursing, oral sex (f. receiving), grinding/humping against each other, mild nipple/breast play, lots of praises, mild spanking, jaemin is enthusiastic about reader's ass for this one lmao, unprotected sex (don't do it !), creampie.

“What?”

The corners of your lips rise in a small smile when the mirror's reflection shows Jaemin in awe. He is sitting at the edge of the bed right behind you, but even in such a position where your back is facing him, he manages to find your reflection on the full-length mirror in front of you.

“You,” Jaemin sighs, licking his bottom lip while his eyes do a quick scan of you —from head to toe, he hopes his gaze doesn’t miss a single inch of the flesh in front of him. “God, you’re so-”.

He doesn’t even finish the sentence, yet he has you shying away from his words and eyes.

“Yeah, right,” you crack a small, timid laugh, “stop staring at me, I mean it!”

He's unlucky you're standing right next to the chair of your desk that, strategically, has a big, soft cushion on it. Because the minute you spot it, you throw it at him playfully. However, you're unlucky he is great at everything that involves physical activity, so the playful teasing does nothing to him because before you can tell, he has already caught the cushion with his hands. No impact, and no desired effect either.

Disappointed, you return to your previous task, and Jaemin seemingly does the same —you’re fixing your wet hair, and he’s back staring at you in awe.

“I was thinking we could order takeout,” you tell him, trying to fill the void of silence with anything.

Jaemin hums in response.

“I really don’t feel like going out right now, I just took a shower. Plus there’s this show I’ve been wanting to watch with you-” another hum from your boyfriend as a response, so your furrowed eyebrows find his reflection in the mirror, slightly annoyed. “Jae?”

It isn't uncommon for Jaemin to get lost in his trail of thoughts. “Mhm?”

When you turn around to confront him, you realize he isn’t lost in his trail of thoughts like he usually is. He is right there with you, his gaze is all over your figure, and his mind is there —he’s just planning something out.

“Jae-”

“Take off the bathrobe,” he asks, without thinking twice —he might as well do so, because the bathrobe isn’t doing anything to hide your precious body from him. “Please”.

It looks good on you, he admits. But you look way better without it.

“Do you want to order take out yes or no?”

The sudden plea makes your skin feel hot, but you try to pretend it didn’t affect you at all for any reason. It’s a silly game you often play with yourself, where you try to drag out Jaemin’s desire until he is too close to the edge to bear it.

“I’m not hungry,” he tells you with half a smile, tilting his head. “I mean I am, but not for food”.

The way he is staring at you from head to toe tells you everything you need to know about his innuendo, but isn't it more fun to act clueless? To pretend you don't understand him until he's too desperate for you to keep on dragging this little game on?

“So?”

“So take off your bathrobe,” Jaemin insists again, this time pulling you closer to him, trapping you between his legs while he sits at the edge of the bed. “Please?”

You stare at him, placing both your hands on his shoulders.

“Should I?” you tease your boyfriend with a cheeky smile peeking through the corners of your lips.

“I know you want to,” he sighs, sneaking both his hands to the back of your legs and hooking them around your inner thighs. He caresses them oh so sensually, dragging them up and then a bit down, making you wish for more. “Don’t you?”

You pretend you think about it, but his intimate touch makes it hard for you not to give in.

“You want it,” Jaemin drags the tip of his digits a bit too far up. Too close to your core that’s aching for him, too close to offering any kind of stimulation that it’s going to make you lose your mind. “Don’t think I didn’t notice how you kept staring at me the whole time. Your eyes were all over my ass”.

He feels his cock twitching when the words come out of your mouth, because you’re definitely not that far from the truth. He was, indeed, staring —how couldn’t he? The silk fabric hugged your body tightly and left nothing to the imagination; it sticks to your flesh like another set of skin, and it also lets Jaemin know you’re wearing absolutely nothing underneath it.

“Don’t think I didn’t notice how you kept bending over just for me to watch,” your boyfriend counter attacks, and suddenly you feel shy. You were teasing him, yes, but it's kind of embarrassing he brings it up.

“I wasn’t,” you say, shaking your head slowly. “I was just brushing my hair”.

“Hm,” Jaemin hums, finally dragging his fingers all the way to your naked core, rubbing the tip of two against your slit.

Dripping.

“Are you sure?” he asks, defiantly. With his penetrative and intimidating gaze all over you, like it's some sort of trial.

Like he has to prove something to you.

“Yes, baby,” you murmur, moving the palms of your hands from his shoulders to his neck. Your boyfriend tilts his head, just at the same time his hands move forward to the naked flesh of your ass. When you feel him squeezing it a bit too harsh, you know you’ve hit the spot.

“Baby?” he repeats with a hoarse voice, like he’s trying to remain collected.

“What?” a smile brightens your face, “you don’t like it when I call you that?”

You know the answer, but you still want to hear it from him. In exchange, though, all you get is silence and a challenging gaze, one that tells you you’re pushing him closer to the edge faster than expected.

“Hm, baby?” you ask again, tilting your head at him. “Cat got your tongue?”

With a sudden movement, Jaemin pulls you towards his lap —you’re no longer standing between his spread legs, but sitting on top of his throbbing bulge that feels tightly pressed against your wet pussy.

This time around, he doesn’t ask you to take off the silk robe. His hands do so delicately, untangling the barely-made ribbon at the front to reveal your naked body to him like you're some sort of gift he has to unwrap.

“Fuck,” he sighs when the fabric is discarded to the floor, leaving you completely exposed for him.

His gaze flies directly to your breasts, the sight of their perfect curvature and hardened nipples makes his cock twitch painfully under you, demanding your attention.

“You look beautiful,” Jaemin whispers underneath his breath, too quiet to be heard from a distance but you pick it fairly well. He places his hands on your hips and pulls you even closer to him, until his tongue latches and swirls around one of your hardened buds.

“God,” his soft lips and wet tongue feel heavenly on your breasts. Your skin gets covered in goosebumps quickly, and you soon feel your body trembling against him. “Don’t- fuck Jaemin, don’t stop”.

He smiles against your skin, but loses no time to provide you with even more stimulation. He drags his hands from your hips to your arse, and he grips it tightly while pressing his body against yours.

“So good,” Jaemin murmurs, caressing and squeezing your ass while guiding your hips over his lap. Your body reacts instinctively, and the more he touches you, the more you grind against his bulge.

“Yeah?” you ask with a deep sigh, wrapping your hands and arms around his neck. “I’m good?”

“Perfect,” he smiles, landing a soft and gentle slap on one of your ass cheeks. It isn’t painful, but the sharp feeling it’s enough to have you whimpering against his lips. “You’re perfect”.

You wish to stay forever like this, hugging him tightly with your pussy pressed against his cock. You want to feel his hands all over you, at all times —on your breasts, on your hips and on your ass. But you’re getting desperate.

Jaemin can tell, by the way you move your hips deeper and faster, trying to get more friction and stimulation. He can even feel how wet you are through the fabric of his shorts.

“I want to taste you,” he sighs, pressing a kiss on your chest, then on your neck and one on your lips. “Let me eat your pussy out”.

There’s something enticing about how dirty Jaemin can get with his words. You love how raw they sound, how the more turned on he gets, the more he stops thinking about everything too much.

So you stand up from his lap, and just when you’re about to get in the usual position —lying down with your back against the mattress and your legs spread— Jaemin motions you to get on your knees.

The position is rather new for this specific practice, but you don’t seem to hate it —your knees are pressed against the mattress, your back is arched and your ass is completely exposed for him. The only thing you dislike it’s the fact that you can’t see him or his face, but you completely become mindless once his tongue laps at your slit.

“Fuck,” Jaemin groans. Guttural, even animalistic.

The louder he gets, the more you melt.

He buries his face between your legs, and loses no opportunity to have his hands all over your ass. He often fantasies with you sitting on top of his face, grinding your wet pussy against his lips while you get off with him. Tonight, though, he wants to be fully in control of your pleasure, so he pushes that fantasy aside for a little while.

“Taste so good,” he murmurs, collecting all your wetness with his own tongue and smearing it along your slit. He’s messy with it, and neither of you seem to care. “Your body it’s- just fucking perfect”.

You moan at his words, and arch your back even harder at his ministrations.

“Shit, baby,” you whine, gripping the bed sheets with your hands in an attempt to hold on to something. Normally you’d do so latching your fingers along his long hair, but since the position doesn’t allow you too, the bed sheets will have to do for now.

“You have no idea how much I love it when you call me that,” your boyfriend hisses, offering you yet another soft spank to your ass cheeks. “I swear you have me wrapped around your finger, pretty”.

The more he praises you, the closer you get to your orgasm. Not only that, but his wet tongue feels heavenly in you —he knows your body like the back of his hands, and knows exactly what and where to touch.

“I’m all yours,” he coos, sucking on your throbbing clit and making your body jolt forward. “Are you all mine?”

“Yes!” you gasp without thinking it twice, feeling your orgasm approaching. “I’m all yours, Jae”.

Jaemin smiles against your pussy. He knows you’re close, judged by how you’re curling your toes and your body is becoming stiff. He can faintly taste your orgasm, and he isn’t going to stop until you’re coming all over his face, letting him know how good he is making you feel.

At the same time, he’s desperate to come too. You’re so made for each other, that he could just get off to the taste and sound of you —many times he has reached his orgasm untouched, just by pleasuring you. He fears tonight might be one of those days, but he’s trying hard to control himself.

“You’re about to come,” he tells you. It’s not a question, nor an assumption. Jaemin knows you’re seconds away from your high, he can feel it just as if your bodies are one. “Come for me”.

He has you weak. Everything about him makes you feel weak, and you can’t help yourself but do exactly as he tells you. He holds that much power over your body, and you’ve known it for a while now.

“Baby!” you gasp one more time, burying your head against the mattress while you try your best to remain in your position. The pleasure is too overwhelming to complete such a task, but Jaemin’s tight grip around your thighs and ass makes it easier for you.

“I know,” he murmurs, his silky voice feeling like a breath of fresh air in the midst of the overstimulating sensations. “It feels good, hm?”

You nod frantically, tears spilling from the corners of your eyes. It feels too good.

“Come, baby,” Jaemin encourages you, keeping you in place by hooking his arms around you. “Let me taste you”.

The way he grips and massages your ass, paired with the feeling of his lips against your core and the filthy words that are falling carelessly from his mouth, you finally reach your anticipated orgasm.

Your boyfriend tastes every single drop of it, and the lewd noises he makes against your throbbing pussy do nothing but increase your own arousal. You’ve always loved how messy and passionate Jaemin can get, and tonight it’s no exception.

“Shit- baby!” He gives you no time to overcome your orgasm, and continues eating you out until your body becomes limp. You have no strength on your arms or knees whatsoever, but you still manage to stay in place helped by Jaemin's grip on you. The pleasure it’s becoming too much, but you don’t want him to stop.

Not at all.

“That’s it,” Jaemin coos, smiling in victory when he’s done licking you clean.

He can’t spend another minute without being inside of you, and you’re weakly swaying your hips letting you know that you want him just as much as he wants you, so he loses no time before discarding his clothes to the floor.

“Baby,” you murmur, shifting your position on the mattress slightly. However, he’s quick to stop you.

“Wait,” Jaemin holds your hips firmly, making you stay still in the position you’re in —knees and palms against the mattress, on all fours with your back arched and your ass up for him. “Let me fuck you like this,” he tells you, and you can pick up the neediness of his voice. He’s desperate to come too, and he wants to do so with you. “Let me see how you swallow me full”.

You love watching him fuck you, but you can’t refuse —you know how much he loves this position and the best part is that he is very vocal about it. So you do as you’re told, and fix your body on the mattress.

It takes him barely a couple of seconds before you feel his hands guiding your hips all the way to his erected cock, the tip of it rubbing against your slit while coating himself with your wetness. You’re more than ready to take him, and he slides right in so easily that it makes him grunt.

“You’re so- tight, and warm” he hisses as he bottoms out, feeling his pubis hitting against your ass.

“Yeah?” you ask, doing your best to bear the painful stretch. He prepared you well, but the very first seconds are always uncomfortable until your walls get used to his girth.

“And you look- so good from this angle,” Jaemin praises you, and you smile. “God you’re so- I love how your ass looks while you’re taking me in your pussy”.

You sway your hips just a little, and that single motion makes him lose his mind for a while. He loves how good your ass looks, how it feels when he grips it with both his hands. He also loves to fuck you from behind and see how it bounces against his cock.

It’s such a pleasant view.

“Fuck me,” you plea, fucking yourself on his cock just slightly.

Any other day, Jaemin would love for you to take control and fuck yourself on him. But right now, he’s too desperate to feel you.

He places both of his hands on your hips and starts pounding himself inside you. He does so slowly at first, but the needier he got, the faster he starts to fuck you.

“Can you feel me?” Jaemin asks with hitched words, biting his lower lip to prevent being too loud. “Can you feel how hard you fucking make me?”

You cry both at his words and the feeling of his cock ramming inside of you. He’s going so deep, and particularly fast, that it gives you no time to respond.

“I can’t control myself when I’m around you,” he confesses through gritted teeth, leaning down to pepper a couple of kisses on your naked back. “You’re so- hot, can’t keep my hands off of you”.

There’s something enticing about how Jaemin looks at you, about how you always catch him staring at your body at any given situation. You love how he always checks you out, how he sneakily spanks your ass while you pass by him in a public place. You love how much he likes your body, and how good he makes you feel about it.

No one has adored your body as much as he does.

“I’m all yours,” you tell him, feeling the tension starting to unravel in your lower tummy. You guide one of your hands to your throbbing clit and start rubbing it almost at the same pace as his thrusts.

Jaemin can feel how hard you’re clenching around him, how your walls are squeezing him tight, begging for his release. He knows you’re close too, again, by how wet you’re getting.

So why wait? The whole night is ahead of you, and he still has the needed stamina to fuck you in every single position he knows, so he doesn’t want to waste any more time before coming with you.

“I’m close,” he sighs, closing his eyes and kicking his head back. You feel heavenly around you, but he wants to come with you.

At the same time if possible.

“I’m too-” you cry, feeling drool spilling from your mouth and staining the bed sheets.

“Come with me,” his voice and breath are shaky, his thrusts are getting sloppier and the lewd noises coming out of his mouth get louder with each second that passes by. You know he is also close, so you decide to give in.

“Won’t hold it-” you warn him, gripping the bed sheets while you do your best to stay still. “Fuck, baby- I’m-”.

You don’t have to tell him you’re coming because he is feeling it. He can feel your walls spasming, he can see your whole body trembling and he can hear how you chant his name over and over again.

It takes him one last look to your body fucking itself into his cock to come undone, all for you. The sight of your arse pressing against him, and his hand groping the flesh of it it’s what pushes him to the highest point of his arousal.

He loves to touch you and grope you like your body belongs to him, knowing that no one else gets to feel your body like this. He loves how perfect you are, how each part of your body drives him insane.

He loves everything about you, and the adoration he holds for you is equal to the lust and desire he feels towards you.

Jaemin comes inside you, whispering sweet nothings into your ear from behind. He fills your pussy up to the brim, until it is leaking.

“Fuck,” he sighs as he manages to overcome his high. He’s breathing loudly and heavily, his throat feels dry and his head dizzy. Jaemin is still feeling the ravages of his orgasm, from the tip of his toes to his crotch.

It’s an overwhelming feeling he adores, and one he can only achieve when he is with you.

“Thank you,” you finally tell him when he plops down onto the bed. You lay right beside him, not caring that his arousal is leaking out of you. For a reason, it feels too intimate.

“For what?” Jaemin asks with a weak smile, turning to face you.

“For all your words,” you return the smile. “You always make me feel attractive, beautiful”.

Jaemin pulls your body close to him, until your head rests at the top of his naked chest. Then, he places a kiss on top of your forehead.

“You are attractive, and beautiful,” he sighs, hugging you tightly. “Perfect, even”.

Author's note: I hope you enjoy this one! I apologize if I fucked up the grammar or spelling, english is not my first language and I haven't proofread this so I hope it's okay! This is my first drabble/story here, and I'm very happy to share it with you. Please, if you enjoy it, leave a comment or a reblog. It would mean the fucking world to me istg. Love you all!

#nct dream smut #nct smut #jaemin smut #na jaemin smut

1K notes · View notes

bunnyreaper · 6 months

Text

𝓷𝓸𝓫𝓸𝓭𝔂 𝓭𝓸𝓮𝓼 𝓲𝓽 𝓵𝓲𝓴𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓭𝓸 𝒶 𝒿𝑜𝒽𝓃 𝓅𝓇𝒾𝒸𝑒 𝓍 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇 𝓈𝑒𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓈 𝓅𝓉 𝟣 𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝓅𝓉 3 𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒

wc - 5.8k warnings - 18+/nsfw (eventually), mentions of cheating (not from reader or john), older male younger female, future daddy kink, mildly threatening behaviour notes - were going somewhere (hornytown) but not quiiiite yet. i still think there's lots to enjoy here though!! hope you do like reading!! also on ao3! ♥

"I've got you, everything's going to be okay." He whispers, over and over and over again, chanting it like a prayer.

You let yourself go a little limp in John's embrace, let the feeling of his comforting words and close touch wash over you—for a moment, everything feels right, the rest of the world falls away.

When John pulls away, a literal and metaphorical cold sweeps in, reality tipping over you like a bucket of ice. His hands still settle on your shoulders, but it's simply not enough to fight back against the shivers overtaking your body. The panic starts to kick in again, your chest tightening in response to the ice in your veins.

John stays stooped close to you, his face inches away from yours as concern radiates from him—you stare up at him glassy-eyed, looking at him for comfort, answers, something.

"Tell me what you need, love. Anything." His voice is so low, almost desperate to help and to fix things.

You struggle to think, struggle to summon anything—your mouth opens and closes, your lips trembling every time you try to speak.

What you want most right now is to fall back into John's arms, to feel that fleeting moment of peace you had just moments ago. What you need is to get away from this place that you've called home for so long, where you feel like the picture-covered walls are closing in—years of memories about to crush you.

Your eyes screw shut as you force yourself to breathe, to focus only on John's reassuring touch and what comes next. "I need to get out of here."

As soon as you finish speaking, he springs into action, a hand slips to your back as he guides you up the stairs, one step behind you. "Pack a bag, you can stay in my guest room until you get things figured out."

You pause mid-step, frozen on the stairs at the weight of John's offer. He'd do that? Have you in his home? "I can't ask you to do that..."

"You're not asking, I'm offering." He answers tersely, and you can feel him stiffen as he looms behind you, can feel the hand on your back grip ever so slightly. "He's my blood, my fuck-up. I should fix this."

There's a conviction to John's words, heavy and resolute, quietly angry through and through—it's more passion than you've seen in an age, and he has no real reason.

He taps you lightly, urging you on, and your body complies without question as you climb the rest of the stairs and lead the way to the bedroom.

When you pass over the threshold, you freeze—taking in the bed that you'll never sleep in again, the room that isn't really yours any longer.

It's freeing and paralysing in equal measure.

John isn't frozen by the same fear, able to fearlessly lead the way as he searches for a bag or suitcase to pile some of your belongings in. "C'mon, get what you need. I can always come back for more, yeah?"

"Or even if you just stay for the night until you can find a friend to stay with." His voice is soft as he tries to anticipate your needs and cater to your changing circumstances.

He finds a small suitcase under the bed, pulls it out, and sets it on the mattress as he waits for you to move.

"Thank you." You nod mindlessly, coming to life again. The two of you work in tandem—you recover items from various drawers and hangers and dump them on the bed, and John works on folding and organisation. Each item is carefully and strategically packed, as his experience demands, ensuring you can bring with you everything you desire.

Your priority is to grab everything important—ID, keepsakes, underwear. Perhaps you should feel some sort of shame or embarrassment when John starts packing away your panties without a word, but right now you can't find it within you to properly care.

The little frilly pieces look extra delicate in his hands, and despite his toughened hands, he handles them with complete care.

You practically empty your entire pyjama drawer onto the bed (or, onto John), anticipating a week on the couch doing sweet fuck all. After all, if you can't indulge and refuse to leave the house after a break-up, then when can you?

Though on second thought, perhaps John wouldn't be too pleased if you took up residence on his couch and refused to leave—his hospitality surely only extends so far, despite being the nicest man ever.

The two of you continue in dead silence, only broken by the occasional muttering to yourself as you think through everything you might need for the next few days.

It's John who speaks first, pausing midway through folding one of your oversized jumpers. "How did you find out?"

You meet his eye and see the emotion swirling within. It's clear he's hurting too, but wants to find out more as delicately as he can.

"Some account sent me pictures and videos, it's definitely him."

John's nostrils flare, his hands fisting in the fabric as anger washes over him. "He better hope I've had time to calm down before I see him again."

"It's not worth making a fuss over John. I'm not—" You pause before you say that you're not worth it, clearly James doesn't think you're worth much at all. The idea of causing issues for James and John's relationship makes you cringe—because, unlike James, you actually give a shit as to how your actions affect others.

"—I don't mean to come between you two." The words you settle on represent a solemn wish. Though, far more than that, a part of you hopes this doesn't come between you and John—that is something you hope for more intently.

After the last few years of knowing him, he's become someone you can truly depend upon.

"He's the one who did this, not you," John states in a way that's clear and leaves no room for argument. "I've got you. You can count on me."

His words soothe the deep sense of panic within you—after all, right now you're in desperate need of someone you can trust wholeheartedly.

With James, there was always this undercurrent of distrust. It was something you blamed on your anxiety and a belief he reinforced time and time again.

With John, you feel none of the discontent—perhaps because you aren't as invested, or perhaps because John has never given you any reason to doubt him.

Here he is, in your moment of need,

telling you the words he knows you need to hear most right now.

You come back to yourself, hastily zipping up the bag in front of you and trying your best to give John a warm smile.

"Let's get you home." John returns the smile with a firm nod, grabbing the bag immediately and throwing it over his shoulder. He waits for you to move first, holding his hand out in preparation for it to fall to the small of your back once more.

The room already looks emptier, and honestly a little ransacked—not your problem any more.

Taking a deep breath, you turn on your heel and fall into step beside John, relishing the warmth of him beside you.

"Oh." John pauses, bending down to pick up a cardigan from the floor, almost hidden beneath the duvet hanging over the edge of the bed. "Can't forget this, yeah?"

You take the cream knit from him, shrugging it on and wrapping it around yourself.

With everything packed for your emergency getaway, you head back down the stairs and grab your phone and keys. It's only when John closes the truck door after you've climbed inside that you finally feel like you can breathe.

Granted, your breaths are still a little shaky and uneven, but being out of the house makes you feel great relief.

John climbs into the driver's seat of his truck, immediately throwing the keys in the ignition. The radio comes to life along with the engine, Costello playing—loud enough to hear yet quiet enough to ignore.

"Thank you, John." You whisper, a little uncertain of how to express the depth of your gratitude. "I've always... you've always been so nice to me."

"Nothing less than you deserve," John states, his tone a little bitter as he begins to drive. "Shame my fucking son couldn't see that."

The older man's venom takes you by surprise. You're not shocked that John is ashamed of his son's actions, but the fact he is here, unapologetically caring for you while condemning his son? You suppose, when you think about it, a pattern is emerging.

In the past, when James has wronged you, John hadn't pried or pressured you to discuss it at length—he simply laid down the law and then spent time distracting you or making you feel whole again.

"You're really angry with him." You note besides, unused to seeing such unbridled emotion from the usually calm and in-control captain.

"I'd never condone cheating." His jaw clenches and the way he shifts gears is a little stiff. "But to do that to you? Unforgivable, darling. You've done nothing but run up the boy's arse since the day I met you."

"Yeah, well, I thought we loved each other." You shrug, feeling only slightly pathetic about it all. "I thought I was just insecure, reading into things too much, and he made me feel that way too..."

John glances at you, eyes full of shock and pity, before he turns his attention back to the road. "Fuckin' hell."

"Look, you can stay with me as long as you like, I mean it."

"I feel like a burden." You reply, not missing a beat.

John releases a sigh, preparing himself for battle. "If anything you're doing me a favour, can look after the place when I'm gone, yeah?"

"I suppose." You relent immediately, not having any fight left in you. "Will you be leaving soon?"

The thought makes you feel more unsettled than it should.

"Hopefully not for a little while." John flashes you a smile, his eyes kind and warm, "I'll make sure everything's sorted before I go anywhere, don't worry."

"I'm sorry."

"Nothing to apologise for, love." He smiles, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he meets your gaze.

The two of you fall into silence for the rest of the drive, accompanied by the easy-listening tracks from John's CD as you make your way across the city.

When you pull up on John's driveway, he's out of the car and opening your door before you can say anything, shouldering your bag and unlocking the front door to the house.

Once inside, you toe off your shoes, setting them onto the shoe rack that keeps all of John's boots neatly organised.

The house smells the same as it always does—smokey and wooden. Just familiar enough to feel homey, just foreign enough to still draw in your senses.

"Shall I show you to your room?" John asks—a gracious host despite the numerous times you've visited and stayed over.

You nod, shoulders already sagging at the idea of falling into the expensive guest mattress. "Please, I kind of just want to collapse into bed right now."

John chuckles as he leads the way up the stairs. "You're more than welcome to."

The bed is already made as if waiting for your arrival, sans the towels John usually prepares when he knows you're coming over. He sets your bag down on the armchair sitting in the corner, before turning to leave you in peace. "Anything you need, I'll be downstairs."

You reach out to him, hand settling on his broad forearm as you hold him still for just a moment, meeting his eyes with a sincere look of gratitude. God knows how the night would've turned out without his accidental intervention, but here in his home, you feel as safe and relaxed as you can in this moment. "Thank you, John."

He leans into your touch, mouth settling on the top of your head as he presses a barely there kiss, and then mumbles his words into your scalp. "Don't mention it, darling."

A second later the door is quietly clicking shut behind him, leaving you alone in the guest bedroom with nothing but your thoughts. Thoughts you'd really rather be without right now, so you rush to change out of your clothes and into some pyjamas and throw yourself into bed.

Exhaustion overwhelms you the second your eyes flutter shut.

—-

When you wake, bleary-eyed and achy-chested, it's completely dark outside—the yellow moon obscured by a layer of mist.

You rub at your eyes and attempt to wet your mouth, which is bone dry from fitful sleep filled with nightmares. The entire night you were trapped in a hall of mirrors, each one cracked and smashed and showing monstrous reflections that looked nothing like yourself.

It was all just a nightmare, and it's over now—all of it.

Peeling back the covers, you climb out of bed and head downstairs to fetch a glass of water—nothing you haven't done numerous times before when you and James had spent the night here after he and John had one too many beers watching the football.

You know exactly which of John's creaky stairs to skip to avoid making too much of a noise, know the small night light at the bottom of the stairs will brighten as you approach.

When you make it downstairs, a floor lamp in the living room floods the space with an amber glow as warm reverberated music drifts to your ears. The soft light highlights John as he puffs away at a cigar, surrounding him in thick, billowing clouds. You're unsure of the time, but you are familiar enough with John to know his late-night-turned-early morning proclivity for music and nicotine.

You take a moment to just watch him looking so peaceful, a moment where his guard is almost entirely down, and he's just John. Not a father or a soldier, but just a man—it's a rare treat and a side you don't often get to see.

His eyes are glazed over, fixated on a spot on the wall as he's undoubtedly lost in his thoughts, weighed by his burdens and memories.

Your eyes linger on his beard, no longer sporting his signature style as the mission has kept him from the upkeep, and that is something you've never seen before. It's charming how handsome he looks, not that he ever wasn't, but his good looks are easier to notice when he looks like this—for a moment he's not James' dad at all. He's all man, and you'd be lying if you said you'd never noticed him before, noticed how attractive he is. Admittedly, you've got very good at hiding your inappropriate, likely misplaced crush on the man.

But now, as you gaze upon him with his lips wrapped around his cigar and his thick thighs lazily spread, you can dip into your unrestrained thoughts and—

"'s rude to stare, love." He says, his eyes shifting to meet yours. In the dark, his usual shining blue is missing, replaced by dark pools of simmering emotion. A moment later, a half-hearted smile catches up with him, as he seems to pull himself from his sombre mood upon seeing you.

"Didn't know you were awake." You shrug, stepping out into the living room and wrapping your arms around yourself protectively—feeling a little bare in your pyjama top and shorts. "I was gonna grab some water."

"I'll get that for you, sit down."

He's rising from his seat before you can protest, the cigar still hanging from his lips as he makes his way to the kitchen. You take a seat on the long couch, not quite relaxing into the worn leather.

John returns a few moments later, passing the glass to you with a tight smile.

"Thanks."

He takes his seat back in his armchair, puffing away at his cigar, his eyes now fixed on you. It's almost like he's looking through you, rather than at you, his mind swirling with a million different thoughts.

Finally, you soothe your dry mouth with quick sips of the water and find yourself unable to tear your gaze away from John.

Now you've noticed him, you feel like you can't stop. It must just be the heartache, the loneliness, and the impending upheaval of your life.

He meets your stare, looking right back at you for every second your eyes linger upon him. Until you force yourself to look at anything but him.

Whether he catches onto your shift in mood or is just genuinely interested, you don't know—but he asks after you anyway. "How are you feeling?"

You let out a defeated sigh, taking stock of your emotions. Right now you're filled with a swirl of confusion and clarity. Some things make more sense than ever, but there's a lot still to figure out.

"Honestly? Betrayed and hurting... but lighter, in a sense. As if I'm glad it's all over?" Your voice wavers a little with uncertainty, as by rights, you should probably feel worse than you do.

John nods understandingly before taking a harsh puff, his eyes hardening. "I should've spoken up sooner."

It feels like the world drops out from beneath you. Does that mean...?

"You knew?" You whisper shakily, not prepared to handle another betrayal.

"No, love. I couldn't do that to you—" He rushes to correct himself, his expression softening as he tries to soothe you. "—but I had my suspicions."

Relief floods you, knowing John didn't sit idly by and partake in the whole affair. If he had known and not said anything, that almost would've hurt just as much as the act itself. Instead, you feel validated, knowing you weren't the only one suspicious of James. After so long of being doubted, it's liberating to have your concerns reaffirmed.

"From the last time you visited?" You ask, wondering if he caught the telltale signs then too.

"Yes."

"Makes sense, he was with her that night. A lot of things make sense now, looking back." You take a long sip of your water, trying to not let the emotion inside overwhelm you. "I'm glad I don't have to live with the worry any more."

"I am too, sweetheart." In his eyes, you see an undeniable genuineness, an underlying fondness.

John takes a deep drag of smoke before blowing it around himself, when he speaks, his tone is more gravelled and gruff. "I've tried talking some sense into him before about the way he treated you, but—"

"He doesn't really listen to anyone else."

"Hmm."

The shared frustration hangs in the air as the smoke does, as well as a realisation for yourself that there is nothing now really tying you and John together—it makes your heart hurt more than it should.

"You should get some more rest." John says, interrupting the impending spiral of your thoughts.

He cares for you, genuinely. But you know he's not yours to keep.

You set your glass down on the table before rubbing at your eyes, uncaring of the way your mascara is likely smudging even further across your cheeks.

"You're right, but I know it's not gonna come easily." You sigh, before peering over your hands to narrow your eyes at the man sitting across from you. "Hey, you're awake too, you can't lecture me."

He barks a laugh, smoke sputtering around him as he withdraws his cigar, holding it between his finger and thumb as he stares you down—a severe look in his eyes and a smile playing at his lips. "Don't make me use my Captain voice on you."

You can't help but roll your eyes at that, and are almost tempted to urge him to try.

John's phone lights up from the coffee table, drawing your attention.

"Fuck, I bet I have so many missed calls and texts." You shiver just thinking about James' response when he finally drags his arse home and realises you're gone. Will he even care?

You certainly know he'll care when he finds out John has offered you a place to stay, when he sees his father treating you with the kindness he struggled to ever afford you himself. "I don't know if I should tell him where I am."

John shakes his head, humming in the negative before giving his gentle command. "Tomorrow, love, you'll need your strength to deal with all this."

"Always so wise." You smile lightly, appreciating his insight just as you always do.

The two of you meet eyes, as he exhales a lung of smoke that comes drifting in your direction. "With age comes wisdom..." He smirks, and you instantly rise to your feet.

"I'm leaving before I age ten years just from sitting next to you." Or, god forbid, letting any inappropriate thoughts seep in at the idea of his words. "Goodnight, John."

You give him your best smile before heading back to the stairs, not missing his sweet response.

"Goodnight, darling girl."

———

James (13 Missed Calls)

Where the fuck are you?

Why is your shit gone??

Pick up the fucking phone.

Thankfully you'd had the good sense to turn off your phone through the night, but the notifications and the harsh light of the screen burn your eyes come morning time.

You don't even bother flicking through the rest of the texts, as you resolve to address them later, after breakfast and more importantly, a discussion with John. There's a message or two from work colleagues that also go ignored for now—them checking in on you and making sure you're okay.

While you appreciate the gesture, you really don't want to address it right now—instead, you opt for scrolling away mindlessly, waiting for the motivation to get up and face the day to finally strike.

Instead, the day finds you, in the form of raucous shouting and doors slamming from downstairs—James roaring at John demanding answers, John trying to defuse the situation.

Fuck. He's here.

You tiptoe your way onto the landing, whole body on high alert as you listen in to the two men's argument.

"Let me past, John." James sounds beyond impatient as his way upstairs is clearly blocked.

"If you think you're going anywhere near that poor girl, you're sorely fucking mistaken." The threatening undertone to John's voice is downright unsettling, even to you.

"She's my girlfriend, and this is none of your fucking business."

"You're my son, and you're acting like a complete prick."

"Your son, come the fuck on." James scoffs. "Move out of the way."

"Wouldn't try that if I were you."

"Oh yeah?"

The sound of a scuffle forces you to move, running to the stairs and stopping halfway when you get closer to the men. James is trying to push past John, but is met by an impassable wall of muscle and protective determination.

The expression on James' face sickens you, one you've not seen before, and especially not directed at you or John.

"James."

His eyes snap to you, the lividity within unwavering. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

A voice in your head tells you to cower in fear, to appease him just as you have so many times before—but this time you know things have to be different. Your eyes flicker to John's, his look softening as he catches your gaze, despite using his body as a shield to hold James back.

John thinks you're worth it. John thinks you're worth jeopardising his relationship with his son over the way James has acted this time.

It's not that you want to forgive James anyway, not that you want to keep him around—it's just the ice in your veins, the survival instinct calling on you to back down.

But you can't, not this time.

"I know about Lucy." You force the words out before you can rethink them any further, standing firm.

James' expression shifts, as he launches into an attempt to placate you, pacify you. "Babe, I don't know what you've heard but—"

"Don't even try to explain it away, I don't wanna hear it." He won't let you doubt yourself again, and you make sure he hears it in the certainty in your voice. "I saw videos of the two of you."

He laughs and shakes his head dismissively, his tone downright mocking as he speaks. "We need to talk about this."

You fold your arms over your chest, confidence coursing through you. "I don't have anything to say, I'm not your girlfriend any more, and I'd appreciate it if you left."

"Not before you listen to me." He growls, but you don't relent.

You look at James, through him even, a part of you disconnecting completely from the man before you. He's no longer the man you love, he's a loose end mere moments from being tied up—a weight you're about to relinquish.

"I'll be back to continue packing my things, and we can talk about the rent and everything later." You even surprise yourself with the steadiness of your tone.

"Just let me explain—"

"No." You snarl, as James surges forward to try to grab you.

Once more, he's stopped in his tracks, being pushed back and away to keep you from harm's reach.

"Out, son, now." John's words are all growl, before changing to a more sinister stillness—the calmer threats from the man speak volumes more. "Or I'll make you leave."

James at least has the sense to move away, but while he has no physicality to push back with, he resorts to taunting. "Always got to be the knight in shining armour, showing up when you're not even needed. Pathetic, John. Go back to your own life and leave mine alone, yeah?" He spits.

There's a beat of silence, an air of disbelief surrounding all of you before John snaps.

"I said, out." John pushes back on James chest once more, sending the younger man stumbling backwards toward the open door.

At least now, he swallows his pride and leaves, but not before shooting you the most venomous look, one you know will haunt you.

John practically slams the door behind his son, working the locks into place to ensure there's no possibility of a repeat performance. "Sorry about that, I shouldn't have opened the door." John sighs, hanging his head in failure. "I never expected—"

"It's fine." You sigh, genuinely believing it. "First step to it all really being... over."

John says nothing, his chest heaving with each breath as he continues to look troubled and disappointed in himself.

You make your way down the last few steps, meeting him at the door to settle your hand on his bicep—hoping the gesture to be soothing and grounding. "Thanks for having my back, for keeping me safe.

"He's hurt you enough, and if he ever laid hands on you..." John's jaw clenches, his nostrils flaring as something bloody and violent passes over him.

"I think he'd know he'd end up in a body bag in a foreign country." You laugh, attempting to lighten the mood. "Good job that it won't come to that."

With one final deep breath, John straightens up, schooling himself into a stoic facade and pushing aside whatever rage is bubbling within him in a display of perfect discipline. "Sit down, love. I'll make us some tea."

He heads into the kitchen, and you follow just a few paces behind—falling onto one of the stools at the kitchen island as John gets the kettle on. You watch him work in silence, thoughts ticking over about the display you've just witnessed, the events that had just transpired.

You had looked at James and told him exactly how things were going to go, and for that, you were incredibly proud of yourself.

"I suppose I should head back later and start properly packing my shit up. The sooner I get everything out of there, the better." You comment, trying to envision the logistics of everything to come.

"I'll be there." John comments, pausing for a moment to meet your eye.

"I'm sure that will go down well." You smirk, mentally preparing yourself for another onslaught against you and John when you both show up at the house. His anger at you was expected, but the things he said to his father had seemingly come from nowhere. "I'm sorry about what he said to you."

"Don't be." John shrugs, before setting two mugs on the counter with just a little too much force. "It's always been there, under the surface. Blames his mum too, as I'm sure you know."

You watch his face, watch as he tries to keep his reactions in check—something he's very good at, and something you think you're getting better at seeing through.

"Yeah."

Is he reconsidering his decision to support you, now he knows the potential consequences that may come along with it? Is he truly hurting at what James said, or dismissing them as a by-product of the heightened emotions everyone was feeling? Right now you wish you could pick apart his thoughts, but everything right now feels so delicate, for both you and for him.

John sets a steaming mug before you, then takes a seat beside you at the island. "Let me know whenever you're ready to get packed up, can ask the lads over to help too if need be." He half-smiles, a lightness in the dark.

"I'm sure the two of us can handle it." You laugh lightly. "Not sure where I'll put all my stuff though."

"There's plenty of room here," John replies, before his voice softens. You stare at your tea as it warms your hands, but you can feel him looking right at you. "I meant everything I've said, and you can stay as long as you like. I also understand if it's too strange for you, I can help you figure something out."

"It's not strange, not really." You meet his too-blue eyes and almost have to turn away from the emotion within. "Even so, I don't have anywhere else to go right now, to be honest. I'm sorry."

"I'm happy to have you, truly." He reaches out, settling a hand on yours, his skin even warmer than the steaming mug. "Brightening up the place."

"Not sure I'm doing much of that right now."

"You are."

You shrug, but relent under his insistent tone. "Fair, if my bedhead and ratty pyjamas weren't a source of amusement I suppose I'd be disappointed."

"Attagirl." His hand squeezes, lingers for a moment before withdrawing.

You never realise how much you're missing until you feel John withdraw.

"Can we... not go today?" The confidence you felt earlier wanes as the adrenaline continues to die down. "I'd rather go another day if that's okay."

"I'm all yours, just give me the word."

The blush on your face is entirely coincidental, and you force yourself to move past the moment swiftly. "Until then... Jeopardy marathon?" You ask, as you have so many times before.

"Jeopardy marathon." John nods, grabbing the mugs as you rush to the living room. "Been a while since we've done this."

"Stop being so busy then." You grumble, flopping down on the couch with a pout. "Though I suppose the world isn't gonna save itself."

"You overestimate me, love." John grins as he takes a seat at the end of the couch and hands you the remote.

You load up Netflix and pull up the series, picking up where the two of you left off months ago, and as the show starts, you wiggle to get comfortable.

Almost absent-mindedly, John pulls your legs into his lap, freeing them from being curled up at his side and making you instantly more comfortable. He's always so considerate, and his hands settle respectfully on your shins as you both turn your attention to this episode's contestants.

It's peaceful in a way you haven't felt in so long—getting to enjoy one of your favourite things with someone you care for. James almost hated trivia shows with a passion, where John had talked with you at length about your shared love for Only Connect.

"Why couldn't I have met you first?" You ask, mostly thinking aloud.

John coughs, taken aback by your words that are laced with heavier meaning than you intended. "Pardon?"

"I just mean... so I didn't have to feel so guilty about wanting to be your friend." Didn't have to feel so guilty about straining his relationship with his son.

"We've known each other as long as I've known the boy." He squeezes at your shins, rubbing ever so slightly as he does. "We're friends, love."

You shrug, eyes flickering down to watch the way his hands trace over you, though not thinking too much of it. You're too trapped in your head, lamenting your lot in life that you had to suffer through James to find a friend in John, a friend you might still lose anyway. "He gets 'custody' of you though, really, since you're his father."

John straightens up, his hands stilling. "Think he's made how he feels about me quite clear."

"He'll regret saying that... I hope." You whisper, before turning your attention back to the TV. You don't know what to say to soothe John, and you strongly suspect it's not what he wants to speak about right now.

"Such is life, love. He'll regret stepping out on you." He returns.

"Good." You laugh freely, feeling a moment of unrestrained joy. "Can I be honest? I don't think I'll regret having him gone, sorry."

John squeezes again, drawing your attention back to him as he shoots you an annoyed look. "Going to have to do something about all that apologising you do."

"Sorry." You freeze, before giggling sweetly. "I mean... fuck. You'll just have to give me your most vicious captain look every time I do it."

You joke, but John obliges, trying to look stern but failing as a smile tugs at the corners of his lips. "Okay, you're wearing a quarter zip, and you look like a dad, I can't take you seriously."

John chuckles, clutching at his heart as his look turns playful. "Threatening my pride, darling girl."

You can't help the way your eyes roll back in your head. "Something tells me you'll be fine." You mutter, before the infectiousness of John seeps through to you.

He looks upon you fondly, his warm gaze almost feeling like an embrace with its tenderness. "Nice to see a smile back on your face, bunny."

"If I have to stop apologising, you have to stop calling me that." You say, unable to fight the blush creeping onto your face.

"No deal, love." He smirks, not looking away for a single second. "We both know you enjoy it far too much."

#captain price x reader #john price x reader #captain john price x reader #captain price #captain john price #john price #call of duty x reader #nobody does it like you do #call of duty fanfiction #why are my chapters so long please send help??

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yuri-is-online · 7 months

Note

Azul totally has an octopus and shrimp plush that he makes kiss.

Who? How? Usually when I get an ask I know where it comes from (or why anyway) but this time I just looked at my phone and got hit by a bus. But you know what annon? You are so right, he totally does.

notes: they/them used for Yuu, Azul engages in some SSS tier simping (shrimping?), once again this is a joke but I am not taking cold meds this time! Please look at my masterlist for more serious works.

Plush toys do not exist in the ocean, the concept of them was something Azul had been made aware of in his research and made note of in land training camp. But of course, as was the case with more things than he would ever admit to outside of a court order, Azul failed to grasp just how ubiquitous and popular plushies were. He had even been gifted an octopus plush as a prize during one of the first Board Game Club events he attended, something he had intended to brush off as childish until he saw the way his club mates reacted, even if he didn't understand why himself the little guy was clearly an enviable prize. A claim made less believable with how he hadn't let Floyd squeeze it, or Jade poke at it, and he certainly had not agreed to give it to Idia no matter how much he had begged.

The shrimp plush had been a... strategic purchase. No really, if anyone asked he had a perfectly reasonable explanation for why he had bought this specific plush that he had to go out of his way to find, order, and watch out for to make sure that Jade didn't bring it to him with the rest of his mail. The Mostro Lounge was always going to expand to have a merch store, and since plush toys were so popular with humans it made sense to have some! He just needed to ensure this particular brand was of a high enough quality to commission-

No one was going to buy that excuse. All the more reason to keep this little indulgence a secret, even if the seller had been confused by his request for discreet packaging.

"It's just a plush sir?" To them maybe, to him this is a painful sign that he should just say something already but he needs to plan for that and this should help. The two plushes certainly look natural enough together, Azul has seen pictures of some beds that have a bunch of little guys set up on them and he's beginning to see the appeal. Maybe he should get two eels? Smaller than the shrimp, obviously, it's the only way the real ones will ever let him live it down. But by thinking that he is sort of acknowledging who the little shrimp is supposed to represent. And they're sitting next to him in his bed.

He takes back his previous thought, Azul has no idea how humans sleep with things that remind them of the objects of their affections, it's filling his mind with situations. He props himself up against the headboard, holding both plushies close to his face so he can see them without his glasses.

“I was so lonely.” Azul is incapable of picturing him otherwise. “I really missed you.” He sniffles, and the little shrimp jumps to comfort him.

“I missed you too!” The little shrimp is friends with the octopus? Azul has no idea when that happened he just got them today- “Let’s never be apart again ok?”

“Do you really mean that?” The little octopus tentatively reaches out one of his stubby tentacles towards the shrimp, who takes it happily. “I don’t want to let you go…”

“You don’t have to.” comforts the little shrimp. “We can get married and do our laundry and taxes together forever and you won’t ever have to be lonely ever again.”

And that is apparently when Azul decides to come back to his senses, just as he is halfway through humming a wedding march and making the plushies kiss. He remembers himself enough to keep them from dropping to the floor, but they still fall to his side as he collapses back onto his pillows redder than a boiled lobster.

Maybe he should just… give the little shrimp over to Yuu. And make some actual progress on that laundry and taxes bit.

#twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #there is a fan art piece i saw that was p much just azul making an octopus and shrimp plush kiss #it's a cute concept

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lqveharrington · 4 months

Text

Holidays | C.S.

summary: your first holiday/christmas outside of the districts

pairing: politician!coriolanus snow x fem!reader

includes: mainly fluff, reader is from district 12 (this is very important in this one-shot), coriolanus is manipulative in this (not a lot, but still), angst if you squint.

a/n: happy holidays 🎄

Despite living in the Capitol, your spirits were up when the holidays came around. Those living at the Capitol had many decorations up and participated in festivities that would certainly get those in the districts in trouble.

As the chosen wife of — the sudden rise to power and wealth — Coriolanus Snow, you were also put into the impression that you were to make this holiday season the best for you and your husband.

On the morning of Christmas Eve, Coriolanus told you that he was to work late, strategizing to help his campaign as he was running for president next year. Of course, you were used to this and gave him a kiss bye as you started your day with the festivities that you used to do back in your home.

By the time Coriolanus came home, it was late and he assumed you were sleeping already. What he did not know was that you were still in the kitchen baking cookies and decorating gingerbread house while playing music from your record collection.

“Why are you still up so late?” Coriolanus wrapped his arms around your hips, resting his head on your shoulder.

You grin at his presence, shifting to meet his eyes. “I wanted to surprise you with cookies and a pretty gingerbread house.”

“Aren’t you sweet?” He kisses your cheek.

“I would like to think so.” You pop a gum drop into your mouth, taking one of your earlier cookies you made from the counter. “Want some?”

He hummed, opening his mouth. You broke a piece off and gave it to him, waiting for a reaction of some sort.

“Well?”

“It’s delicious.” He swallowed, reaching for the rest of the cookie in your hand. “I think I should take them all.”

You let out an airy laugh, handing him the baked good. “I think you should help me decorate this house so we can go to bed. I’m sure you’re tired, Coryo.”

———

“What are you doing now?” Coriolanus asked you as he got out of the bathroom, hair still wet. He brought the a towel to his head, watching you stand outside on the balcony. “My love, you’re going to catch a cold staying out there.”

“I know…” You mess with your silk robe, rubbing the sleeve with your thumb. “Just give me a few more seconds. I want to check off the last thing I used to do back in 12 for Christmas Eve.”

He refrained from scoffing at the mention of District 12, slipping one arm around your waist. “You don’t remember how bad it was back there before I saved you? Why do things that bring back memories of those days being treated like a peasant?”

You stayed quiet, listening to his words intently.

“I believe you should be grateful you aren’t spending time in the freezing weather and instead participate in the fun activities in the Capitol. Where you belong.” He pecked your cheek. “Unless you want to go back… Then that can easily be arranged.”

“No, don’t.” You frown, looking up at the shining moon. “I love it here. A lot. And, I’m really grateful for it, really.”

“Good answer.” He runs his hand up to your chin, tilting it so you would face him. “Just this one thing and then come to bed, okay?”

You nod, pecking his lips. “Thank you… Love you.”

Coriolanus smiles at you, pressing one last tentative kiss to your lips and leaving for the bed, not bothering to take the time to understand what you were doing.

Leaning against the cement railings, your focus moves back to the bright moon, smiling sadly at it.

“I promise I’ll be back and see you again…” You whisper into the crisp, night air, the wind lightly blowing at your skin. “We’ll be okay. Just watch over mom for me. I’ll see you both again.”

You check your watch for the time, the second hand hitting the twelve. “From your somewhat cool older sister: Merry Christmas, Dante Everdeen.”

read more about coriolanus snow here !!

a/n pt2: MING BLOWING 🤯 she’s related to katniss, isn’t that silly :)

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haggishlyhagging · 9 months

Text

I was standing before the desk of my doctoral dissertation adviser who was angrily telling me that I was not going about my dissertation in a way that suited him. He shouted at me, from his intimidating height, that my master's thesis adviser had told him I had pressured him unmercifully too and hadn't asked his advice either all along as I should have. I asked my fuming educator, as calmly as I could, why my master's adviser had never indicated this to me. I suggested that if he hadn't approved of the way I was proceeding, he should have said something to me at the time. And that since he always signed everything I took to him to sign, and since he had not stood in the way of my receiving my master's degree, I had simply assumed he approved.

Even as I asked the question, however, I knew the answer. I hadn't behaved femininely. I hadn't asked their advice. I hadn't acted as if I weren't capable of doing all this without their help. Hadn't, in short, acted incompetent, helpless, childish, and infinitely grateful for every little scrap of attention or advice they, as superior beings, had given me. I was twenty-eight years old when I began my master's research. I knew exactly what I wanted to do and how to go about doing it. I proposed it to my adviser. He agreed. I did it. That was that—I thought.

Oh, but not so. I didn't lean on him. To me he was just part of the red tape. I cut through him as quickly as possible. And I had no time to linger. Already we had one child and were ready to conceive another. I had to move faster almost than humanly possible, and I did.

Now my doctoral adviser had heard from my previous master that I had not been sufficiently humble and impressed (did not respect the priesthood enough, meaning the men). But this one wasn't going to make the same mistake. He'd show me who was boss. I understood this as women understand it, not intellectually, just in the flesh of my face as he scowled at it, just in the resignation of my weary-with-watching-male-ego-signs flesh. And I knew exactly what to do about it, without thinking, without strategizing—cry. So he would know I wasn't trying to show I was as smart as he was and didn't need him to tell me what to do next. Cry—so he would realize I was just another weak little woman and he had no cause for alarm. Cry—so he would feel bigger and more rational, and still, above all else, still blessedly in control.

So I cried on purpose that day, and because I did I became Dr. Johnson a year later, moving with great speed through a system designed to slow doctoral candidates down. Because I cried.

If men hate to be thus manipulated, then they must allow us to be real, they must not force us to manipulate their egos in order to live a full human life. I hate such machinations. I despise them with all my heart. But women are forced to resort to them because men won't otherwise allow us to exist. And we have a right to life.

-Sonia Johnson, From Housewife to Heretic

#Sonia Johnson #male ego #higher education #female tears #male manipulator

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teopatra · 8 months

Text

Holaaaa

~ choose a meme for a channeled message // this is not a tarot reading .. happy Virgo season and happy Mercury RX 🥵 feel free to choose multiple groups-

Why do ppl love/hate u ??

Group 1 : si or yes

People do not know how to read you. The decision most people would immediately jump on you take the time to consider and really weigh your options. People hate that about you bc they think you’re too good but it’s lowkey a subtle flex bc it shows you have options. People feel like you get too many chances or things come to easy for you and almost like it’s not fair like you always win. If it’s a situation where you always win people feel like you don’t even try. For example at school it can be a random drawing and your name can get called in an assembly or in the morning announcements and people know you didn’t even try and they put so much energy into hoping they’d get it. 😂

Folks pay a lot attention to you bc you always seem so oblivious yet you’re so rational. You say the most intelligent things and overall you make people feel stupid because a lot of times people assume you’re slow or have dumb blonde energy when half the time you’re not even paying attention. But the other half of the time when you seem like you’re not paying attention you actually are you’re just very strategic. Life is like a game of chess for you and this can make others feel like you’re sneaky or have the intention to one up them by using information when it’s convenient for you. You give non chalant energy but not in a rude way in a calm at peace type of way. People leave you out because you make them realize they’re lowkey thirsty or pick Me’s since you don’t jump at every opportunity like they would, but you teach others about the vastness of life by being patient. Others see you as abundant and before you come into peoples lives even if you’re not close to them they see things as very black and white, this or that, left or right, but you being a multi faceted perspective energy to things. I’m getting mutable energy especially gemini, or heavy Jupiter energy or aspects to your Jupiter or 9th house.

People do love that you kind of don’t care about things BUT YOU DO😂 people really don’t understand you, but the crazy thing is with you it’s what you see is what you get but people swear that you’re hiding something or people may ask you what’s wrong a lot and you’re like nothing????? You don’t have the typical type of resting face it’s more of a stare into the distance because you’re trying to remember if you unplugged your flat iron or turned off the TV before you left the house. If you’re in school you may forget about assignments or homework and end up having to do them on the bus, in the bathroom or in other classes and people hate that they’re tying to fill you in on things but you seem so preoccupied like you don’t care but girl you’re just trying to passss.

EVERYONE wants your energy meanwhile they’re all gossiping about you lowkey bc you’re so interesting and they don’t have anything better to talk about in the sense. But not bc there isn’t anything to talk about it’s just you’re so mysterious. You’re a popular loner like people will try to leave you out just to tell you about it later and you’re like 😃 ohmygosh that’s so wonderful and they’re like BIH you should be jealous like… people really wanna make you the villain. The type of look you have is very girl or guy next door but effortlessly sexy. You actually do alot of self care and you’re intentional with getting dressed but you’re subtle. It’s just a I washed my face and brushed my hair type of thing. You could have a chiseled jawline or symmetrical face. I’m seeing Reggie’s fine self from riverdale. It reminds me of the main character from clueless also how she’s very girl next door almost typical looking but still very standardly pretty. Don’t get me wrong you’re gorgeous and you eat everybody up on your normal day to day. I feel like you actually plan to really make yourself look nice n the mornings before you go to work too but half the time you’re almost running late bc that sleep just be too good.. you focus mostly on your dental health and I see you putting drops n your hair like hair vitamins or oil so your hair must be long and light brown. OHHH you’re giving me Ariana vibes , “no tears left to cry” like people love that you’re unproblematic but that’s the problem lol who do you think you are to be so unbothered? Meanwhile you’re oblivious 😂

Signs: STRONG Scorpio, cancer, gemini, Pisces too actually all water

Side note: People love your hair and be wanting to play with it, when you flip your hair it’s smells like Garnier fructise or something like that like not the new style shampoos that smells perfumy the old type shampoos that smell fruity but still that tumblr era shampoo smell . Your hair puts people n a trance everyone stares at the back of your head when you’re not looking so keep protection crystals around or evil eye

Group 2 : eeyuh?

People love how talkative you are; you’re funny as hell like why you be saying crazy stuff. Even teachers love you or superiors look up to you even if you’re younger. Your supervisors or older colleagues could have crushes on you because you make them feel young like you. People love your light hearted youthfulness it makes them feel comfortable being themselves. This causes people to get clingy and obsess over you. People may send you random messages through the day like when they’re at the store shopping like Ohemgee this reminds me of you haha and it’s like a notebook or some random stuff they have at 5 below and you’re thinking uhmmmm ohhhkay should I be offended orrrrr…? Lol people make themselves uncomfortable with how much they love you because everyone kinda volunteered you as tribute to be THEE it girl or HIM, and you’re like Ohemgee I’m the main character but you just keep that to yourself. People feel like bc they praise you or put you on a high pedistal that you owe THEM something 😂 it gives you wouldn’t be here without me energy almost like you’re a local celebrity and if it wasn’t for your fans that you would be a nobody. You mind your own business and sometimes you can’t get time to yourself bc someone is ALLLLLWAYS calling your name and you’ve gotten caught a few times trying to avoid people n the halls, office, target or whatever and those people feel slapped by will smith n the moment bc how dare you. Next thing you know you’re shadow banned irl by everyone. You have this very magnetic control on folks to where everyone’s energy is the EXACT SAME towards you it’s almost scary sometimes cuz you’ll think dang did someone pass away? Cuz the energy is HEAVY; you’re left confused as if you didn’t get them memo then BOOM almost as if paparazzi announced the new issue of YOU is dropping and everyone needs the scoop and now you’re bombarded at once. Angry mob vibes almost. Heavy air sign energy I’m sensing Kanye, Doja, trump even tho you prob can’t stand either of those 3 ppl the example is to show how they can have such a strange cult like following and be hated but followed at the same time.

Back to the funny thing where you end up being like the class clown bc once people get your joke which it’s not like you’re trying to be funny but you’re very theatrical in how you talk and communicate and it cracks people up and those laughs just fuel you. People hate that you’re so funny they don’t want you to stop but then they realize so much time has gone by that they’ve spent laughing at you they’re now mad bc THEY got distracted 😂 people hate how you disappear or you like to eat alone people be literally wanting to watch you eat. People hate how obsessed they get over you because they start to feel like the feeling isn’t mutual but even as outgoing as you as you tend to be a bit reserved at times especially when you’re trying to focus. You have very good time management skills and you type fast lmao. People hate how fast you finish your work and how fast you run 😂 you’re a runner you’re a track star 😂 you be runnin from people huh lol people will literally chase you like this old school Disney channel movies where the fans chase the pop star.

People love love love you but they hate how lost in time you make them feel and everyone wants to be your best friend and people may try to make it seem like you’re mixy or you’re just social for attention.You actually made yourself be social to help with your shyness or anxiety; only your close family would realize this and you almost live a double life like Kim possible or Hannah Montana where your family would be so surprised to see how much of a starrrrrr you areeee. You may like to read books or do skits; I’m hearing theatre kid or you like to sing old pop or rock n roll. I heard “that’s just the way we roll” by the Jonas brothers 🥺 I love them they’re actually having a concert n my city this week 🫶🏽😭I’m getting more Pisces and gemini vibes like group 1, also Leo and Sagittarius

Group 3 : doj

People hatteeeee how fine you are 😂 you will catch people staring at you and you don’t know why? You also can be super tall or super strong and if you’re a workout girly people like staring at your muscles or buttocks lol . People hate to see you in the gym or gym class bc you can do so many reps OR it’s the fact that you’re not the typical type to look as strong as you actually are and there’s a saying/ word for this but I can’t remember what it is. You could be very slim or maybe more thicker or big boned and if you’re on the heavier side you’re super beautiful and people have never seen someone plus size be that beautiful. Sorry if that’s triggering but people are superficial. People hate that you look better than them even tho you’re big 😂 BIG SEXYYYYY . For my plus size girlies and gents you have a lot of confidence and everyone loves you and people hate that bc you make them feel small no pun intended but n the sense that they try to put you down maybe by making a fat joke or a skinny joke and it just makes them look lame bc you’re actually the total package you’re smart, creative, strong mentally emotionally and physically and all they can do is comment on your weight 😂 people actually wish you were their friend bc you sound so smart when you speak it makes people feel slow bc you’re very wise.

People love how you dress and they love your shoes and the bags you carry. If you get pedicures pay attention to when you get a fresh set bc I’m hearing it be looking good and people lowkey wanna copy they wait for you to get a new color. Or you have gorgeous looking feet it makes people stare it them in a weird way lmao and you may catch people staring at parts of your body even if it’s your face and they feel awkward and may try to make a 😒🥴 face because you looked at them back bc of how hard they was staring like 🙄. Your family or friends may be very well known and you’re very quiet which for some reason attract a lot of rude people to you like someone may try to cut you off in line and you call them out now they’re embarrassed. You could have to deal with confrontation a lot or have disciplinary hearings like someone was always telling on you trying to get you into trouble 😂you’re literally so quiet half the time but you also speak multiple languages so you could be part foreign and people assume you’re dumb bc you’re foreign smh.. you could be into spirituality or some associates from school or your neighborhood could have seen you in your traditional dress maybe you’re of Asian/Indian descent or you’re Muslim … if you’re into spirituality people actually watch your YT, tiktoks or listen to your tarot readings and may blame you for being right like😂 I was just trying to warn you. People really do not like you sometimes and you honestly don’t even do anything aww 🥺 PLEASEEEE don’t let this make you feel bad bc tbh your lil feelings would be hurt n the moment but after about 5 to 10 minutes you don’t even care 😂

Like you’ll go home and forget that even happened and if you are sensitive and it hurts your feelings people are threatened by you and sometimes that’s just life and both life and people can be sucky but you’re not here n this lifetime for people your here to share your research findings and your creativity/art. Especially if you’re a tarot reader, a yogi, a herbalist, spiritualist or any type of healer , you heal those who have negative energy around or towards you bc they cannot transmute the energy in their own. It’s not your job to transmute energy for others tho bc if you do that people will only become codependent off of you then turn on you. You have to build up strength and boundaries and if you have been doing so or done that already then good. People will try you sometimes and just don’t even let it get to you bc they are projecting onto you but people love your advice they just hate that it’s you giving it 😂 you really bother insecure folks

Big libra, Capricorn vibes .. also Taurus or Saturn dominants /aspected Saturn

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metalandmagi · 5 months

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A list of underrated Christmas movies for everyone who is getting tired of watching the same things every year:

This year, I wanted to make a list of a few Christmas movies that I feel are a bit underrated and under-appreciated, because I’m tired of seeing the same things all the time. If anyone has any suggestions for their own lesser known holiday movies, please feel free to include them!

Arthur Christmas: An animated movie that should be a classic, but it was unfortunately lost to time because it had a horrible marketing campaign that made it look like complete shit. Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s not complete shit. It’s actually fucking amazing.

Arthur, the clumsy son of the current Santa Claus is known for being a lovable idiot who tends to ruin everything he touches, but when a little girl’s present is accidentally left behind one Christmas, Arthur, an elf named Bryony, and his grandfather (a previous Santa…so grandsanta) embark on a chaotic mission around the world to deliver the missing present. Every character in this movie is so fucking funny and empathetic at the same time. Arthur embodies the true meaning of Christmas in everything he does. Bryony is just…on another level entirely. Arthur’s brother Steve (a strategic genius who wants to use his new technology to ensure his place as the next Santa) is a perfect antagonist that the audience still feels sympathy for. They all just have such a fun dynamic, and it’s a crime that more people haven’t seen this.

Spirited: A fairly new addition to the Christmas movie ranks, since it came out in 2022 (but it was on AppleTV+ so no one watched it). Spirited is a modern, musical version of A Christmas Carol like you’ve never seen before (starring Will Ferrell and Ryan Reynolds, who are an amazing combination in anything). If you’re tired of seeing endless retellings of Dickens' story, just watch this. It’s hilarious, heartfelt, and it brings a whole new perspective to the story in a way that I’m not going to spoil. And the songs go so hard it’s insane.

Happiest Season: A rom-com in which a woman named Abby desperately wants to propose to her girlfriend Harper over the holidays during Harper’s family Christmas party…only to realize that Harper’s extremely rich and conservative family doesn’t know she’s gay. Fun rom-com shenanigans ensue. Did I mention Abby is played by Kristen Stewart, and Harper is played by Mackenzie Davis? Also Aubrey Plaza, Alison Brie, and that guy from Schitt’s Creek everyone loves are in it.

This could easily have been a completely different movie if the cast wasn't so funny and didn’t have such good chemistry. It starts out as a standard holiday rom-com, but I was tearing up by the end of this the first time I watched it. If you’ve ever felt like you’ve been hiding your true self from your family or if you’ve felt like you’ve never been good enough for them, I think you’ll see a lot to relate to in this.

Violent Night: Another new addition to the ever-expanding list of Christmas movies, this aptly named action thriller also came out in 2022, and I feel like no one has spoken about it since, which is a crime because IT WAS SO MUCH FUCKING FUN!

When a grizzled, down on the world Santa (played by David Harbour) gets stuck in a rich family’s house while it’s being overrun by mercenaries, he has to Die Hard his way out and save the hostages (or at least the ones who are worth saving) before it’s too late. This was such a fun surprise, because violent action thrillers are so hit and miss for me personally. David Harbour is great. It’s just under 2 hours of watching shitty people get their comeuppance in unique ways. I’m so offended that it only has a 6.7/10 on IMDB, because this is a great movie to watch with a group of friends and some age appropriate beverages. Yeah, it’s not a masterpiece, and maybe my standards are low, but I had a great time with this.

Tokyo Godfathers: An anime Christmas classic directed by Satoshi Kon in which 3 homeless people (a former drag queen, a runaway teen, and a grumpy alcoholic) find a baby in a dumpster and try to reunite it with its family. This was the movie that tricked me into thinking Satoshi Kon’s other works would be just as comedic and wholesome as this one. It’s got humor. It’s got heart. It’s got twists and turns that will keep you guessing in the classic Satoshi Kon fashion. And the English dub is just as good as the sub, so you can’t go wrong either way.

Neo Yokio- Pink Christmas: Speaking of anime…I’ve talked about this one before, but I have to mention it again because it’s a staple for me every year. Pink Christmas is the Christmas special for the…anime (and I use that word in the loosest way possible) Neo Yokio…aka the one starring (and possibly made by?) Jaden Smith.

For anyone who’s never heard of it, Neo Yokio is a series on Netflix that is the closest thing to a professionally made Abridged Series we’ll ever have. The “plot” of the series revolves around Kaz, a pink haired guy who fights demons and does increasingly absurd rich people things with his robot mecha butler named Charles. The Christmas special involves Charles telling Kaz a Christmas story about the city’s Secret Santa competition for all the ultra rich people.

Look, there’s no good way to describe this one, but trust me when I say you don’t have to watch Neo Yokio to understand it, since even people who do watch Neo Yokio don’t understand it. In fact, I think it will be even funnier if you don’t watch Neo Yokio at all before watching Pink Christmas (but I encourage everyone to watch the series too, just because it’s more of the same insanity.)

Every line in it is pure comedic gold, not because it’s truly funny, but because it’s absurd and ridiculous in a way only Jaden Smith can be. I quote it incessantly while eating a Toblerone every year.

Cabin Pressure at Christmas: Molokai: Okay, it’s not a movie or even a TV special, but I love Cabin Pressure so much that I had to include this too. Cabin Pressure is a comedy radio show (not a podcast, an actual radio show) that aired on BBC Radio 4 in the early 2000s about an airline crew for the world’s shittiest airplane.

For anyone who watched season 2 of Good Omens, you might recognize the name John Finnemore as one of the writers. Well, Cabin Pressure is made by (and stars) the same person. The Christmas episode is one of my favorites of the series, and you 100% don’t need to listen to the entire series to enjoy it. It captures the humor and despair of being stuck with your co-workers on Christmas eve, but it keeps up the spirit regardless. This is another one I quote incessantly, and the whole show has become hardwired into my personality. PLEASE FIND A WAY TO LISTEN TO CABIN PRESSURE! I’m pretty sure the whole series is available on iTunes as an audiobook.

As honorable mentions, I want to include Rise of the Guardians and Klaus, because even though they have a fair amount of popularity, I still feel like people could appreciate them more. And sure, Rise of the Guardians might be more of an Easter movie, but it still includes Santa as a character, and he’s amazing.

That's all for now. Sorry these are all specifically Christmas themed, but if anyone has movie suggestions for other winter holidays, please throw them in!

#christmas movies #spirited #tokyo godfathers #arthur christmas #happiest season #violent night #neo yokio pink christmas #neo yokio #cabin pressure

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madwomansapologist · 5 months

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like a virgin, like a prayer | shan yu

Navigation | More Shan Yu | AO3

synopsis: It's been months since you had agreed upon being his lover, and weeks since you truly became it. Now all you can think is about how much you want Shan Yu. All the time, in every way. And so does he.

warnings: smut. consensual/non consensual voyeurim. strip tease. exhibitionism. public nudity. public/non public masturbation. loss of virginity. gentle sex. oral sex. blood. size kink. shan "i will make it fit" yu. praise kink. creampie. age gap. kidnapping. shan yu (i need to respect my wife) x reader (just fuck me already, please). yandere!shan yu. female!reader. in this house we hate the misogynist version of Shan Yu in Mulan (2020).

A bird of prey. That's what he truly is. More than a warrior, than a strategist: Shan Yu is a watcher. He analyzes, observes. And when he find a focal point, he don't let it be. Just like his falcone, it's on his nature to watch when no one knows they're being watched.

And you're the object of his desires and curiosities. You're the mistery he can't seem to unravel. Every little thing you do, from the way you look at people to the things you say when you're alone with yourself, facinastes him.

After all, that's how he meet you. Watching you when you thought you were alone. That's how he fell in love. Watching your soul echoing through the woods. Apparently what people say is true. Old habits die hard.

Shan Yu wanted to get drunk on every aspect of you. The way you walk like you don't have time to waste. How you do your hair on the mornings. Which clothes can steal your interest when you're walking on a village. How sometimes you will randomly look at this sky, breath in, and come back to your routine.

He likes to know who you're when there is no one else around. Your reaction to the book you're reading when you're alone bellow an ash tree, how silence seems to restore your energy, how you can be really mad over little, insignificant things. Shan Yu wants to see you with no filters.

It's not his fault that he wants you whole.

Even thought you're his prisoner — now you wholeheartly agreed to be his bride —, you're a free spirit. He can see that by the way nature works on you. Shan Yu can take you from others, if it was on him no one would ever deserve the privilege of your presence, but there is a limit for the things he can take from you. And he would never take swimming away from you.

After your classes for war strategic, his guards make sure that you won't be bothered by anyone feeling stupid enough to mess with what belong to Shan Yu. You can have your fun for how long you desires, the only thing he asks is for you to eat from time to time. So for a couple of hours, is just you and the freedom water gives you.

And him, of course.

Watching from afar. It's like you're a deity. Shan Yu is on his way to conquer China, but if you asked him to conquer the sea it would be yours. It already is. He will just make others surrender to you.

The thing is that now you're aware of him.

Maybe at the beginning you weren't, but now you're familiar enough with the weight of his careful gaze. You can feel it burning your skin. Instead of being the object of his gaze, you feel like the watcher. Shan Yu observes you, just as you observe him. You like to play a little game: you put yourself on his place, and imagine what he's thinking about.

When you take care of your skin and he is so quietly doing nothing on the other side of the room, you like to imagine Shan Yu is trying to learn what to do if you ever ask him to help you. When you choose new clothes and you feel his eyes lingering on you from other side of the path, you like to pretend he's picturing you on them. When you read and he's hidden into the woods, you imagine him taking notes of what book he should gift you next. And when you're on a lake, you want Shan Yu to imagine you naked again.

Just as when he first meet you.

You don't swim without your clothes anymore, and you do it to make sure that his imagination will work on your favor. You ain't sure why, but him imagining you is way more interesting than him seeing you. To picture him picturing you is your little, constant sin.

But you would prefer if he joined you.

You miss his touch. Don't matter how long it have been since you were next to him, you miss Shan Yu. You always want him close to you. And when you miss him, the memories of your first kiss comes to haunt you.

It was an trap, one that his army fell right into. Usually the Hun army travels to battle, but this time it happened inside the camp. Kids, old people, workers that have nothing to do with that war: everyone was in danger.

Shan Yu knows you can fight, you train with his army, but that doesn't mean he will let you go with him to any battle. The thing is that this time he couldn't control the situation.

You wandered towards him, a sword in your hand and courage on your chest, knowing that he was doing the same.

Shan Yu kicked a man's legs, breaking it. His sword cut his throat open, but a scream came to his ears. When he turned, Shan Yu saw your sword passing throught a open chest. With blood staining your face, you let the body fall and looked at Shan Yu. "You're hurt?"

Shan Yu marched towards you, the world burning behind him, and pulled you by your waist. He almost took you off the ground, you supported yourself on him, and brushed the blood on your face. When he kissed you, it was like there were only you two in the world.

You felt his.

And now you want to be his. In every way. You'll never think that way if Shan Yu was a man from your village. You'll never be respected if you layed with someone before wedding them, don't matter how much you love one another or how bad you need to do that. That would never, ever happen.

But he isn't a man from your village. You're not there anymore. And you don't want to wait any longer.

When the camp was set close to a region filled with thermal water, you had an idea. Ond that you were too eager to ignore. Too hungry to not consider.

The guards walk you to a certain point, warning you that when the ring beels you'll have ten minutes to get there before they went looking for you. Feeling his gaze burning your skin, you did the rest of the path.

First you took your shoes off. You touched the water, it was so warm. So perfect. You carefully held the hem of your dress, pulling it out slowly. Step by step you dive into the water. With water brushing against your collarbone, you sat facing where you knew he was.

That was your invitation for Shan Yu to join you.

So you waited.

And waited.

But nothing happened.

Frustrated, you imagine what else would made him get of his secret place and just do something already. You closed your eyes, bite your lips, and then you found a answer.

Shan Yu makes you feel shiny and new. Free, but also owned. In control, and also controled. Shan Yu makes you fell like you have nothing to hide. So you didn't.

You weren't sure if he could see your fingers from so far away, so you made sure to keep your face still. You wanted him to see every fraction of a different expression. As your fingers pressed against your clit, for a second you felt like your moans could echo throught the whole wood.

After you came, your body shaking from pleasure and adrenaline, you dive into the water. You felt suddenly so embarrassed. Embarrassed for liking it so much. Embarrassed for not being even a little bit ashamed of what you just done.

You set a trap for him. Now it's with Shan Yu.

At dinner, you finally saw him. In a tent with all his generals, even when discussing important matters you could sense his eyes lingering on your skin.

"How long will we stay here?" You took a sip from your glass. "In this village."

Shan Yu breathe in before answering you. "Three more days."

You pouted. "What a shame. I liked this place. The woods here are so calm. And so lonely."

Shan Yu suddenly stand up, not worrying about excusing himself. You said something to the generals and asked one of his adivisors to take care for the rest of the night. Shan Yu was faster than you, but you saw him heading towards your shared carriage.

"Hey," you closed and locked the door. Shan Yu stopped in the middle of the room, his hands pressing against his head. Behind him, you put your hands on Shan Yu's shoulders, massaging his skin. "You're feeling unwell?"

Shan Yu sighed. You could feel his determination melting into your touching. It was a key to make him act as you wanted. All he wants is to be loved by you, and if you show him this love... "If only you knew the things you do to me."

You bit your lips, controling the smirk. "Are you mad at me, my sun?" You practically purred.

Shan Yu turned to you, his long hands holding your face. You felt so safe. So perfectly fine around him. "No, my moon," Shan Yu kissed your forehead. You almost felt guilty by teasing him so bad. "Never at you."

"Then I don't understand," you put your hands on his. "Why are acting this way? Maybe I can help you."

Shan Yu touched your forehead with his, and you closed your eyes. His breath was warm against your skin. You kissed his thumb.

"Drink with me."

You didn't knew if Shan Yu was asking or demanding. Either way, you nodded. You sat on your shared bed, and watched him serve you both from his personal wine.

"You told once me about a bad experience with a matchmaker," Shan Yu opened the bottle. He gazed over you for a second, then went back to the wine. "That made me wonder."

"About what?"

Shan Yu may be a lot of things, but he isn't a coward. He didn't fear your answer or your reaction, he wanted to hear the truth. So he asked for it. "You we're promised to someone?"

That wasn't what you were expecting to hear. "Yes," you admitted. "When I got old enough, my parents made a deal with his. We didn't got married because he was called to serve the emperor."

Shan Yu sat in front of you, handing you a glass. You took a sip of it, and hated the taste. Shan Yu like his drinks strong, but you prefer them sweet.

He caressed your feet, resting close to his thights. "Have you laid down with him?"

You tried the wine again. It was horrible still, but at least it had alcohol in it anyway. "Not with him," his fingers brushed against your legs. "Not with anyone else."

Shan Yu squeezed your skin lightly. "It's my duty to honor you, my moon." There were a different fire on his eyes. Something almost palpable. "Just as it's my duty to satisfy you."

"What you mean by that?" You knew exatcly what he meant.

"You're so young. It's normal for you to have needs. Desires," his cold fingers made to the sensitive spot behind your knees. "For you to want more from me."

"Is that why you are so nervous?" You drank the rest of the wine and put the glass on the floor. "Because you want more from me?"

Don't matter what, your words keep on surprising Shan Yu. You will never stop to amaze him. "Yes, my moon."

"If you want it so bad," you smiled. "Then take it."

Holding your legs, Shan Yu pulled you closer. He carressed your face, his fingers so cold against your skin. When he kissed you, all your worries and fears just disappeared. It was impossible to feel anything but love and lust.

His kiss moved to your chin, your cheeks, your earlobe. When you flinched, you felt his smile against your skin. Shan Yu kissed your neck, your shoulders, your hands.

Looking at you, glaring deep into your soul, Shan Yu made something burn inside you. You looked away, so he held you by your chin.

"Don't do that," Shan Yu brushed his fingers against your lips. "Let me see you."

"I don't know what to do," you revealed.

"You don't need to anything." Shan Yu carressed your face. "Come here," he tapped his thights. "Let me take care of you."

You crawled towards him, sitting on his lap. You supported yourself on your knees, your hands on his chest, not wanting to put all your weight on him.

Shan Yu grabbed your waist and pulled you down. He came back to kissing you, this time his hands wandering throught your body. One found a home on your hair, the other squeezed your waist. You put your arms around him, letting he get deeper into your mouth.

Shan Yu pulled the string of your clothes, revealing your body once again for him. His fingers brushed against your collarbones, circled your tits, held your hips. "The gods must envy your beauty," he whispered into your mouth.

He laid you down on the mattress. You felt weighless. So small in comparison to him. His hands went down your spine, nails scretching your skin lightly, and grabbed both of your legs. He opened them, and you never felt so exposed before.

One thing was to undress for him. Other was for him to undress you.

"Breath in," you did as he said. Shan Yu kneeled between your legs, and it was almost impossible to think. "Breath out," once again you behaved.

As his face got near your sex, his breath made you close your legs. He hold them, opening you for him again. He warned you with his yellow eyes.

Shan Yu licked you slowly. You trembled bellow him. His nose brushed against your lips, and you bite your fingers. He was so calm, so patient. His licked your lips, sucked your clit, used his tongue to stimulate you whole.

When you whimpered, Shan Yu got eager. He pulled you by your hips, getting you even closer, and his hands went up to your breasts. You moaned his name, and for a second he almost lost control.

He bite your inner thights, and then licked it. Your breath was already a mess. His tongue wandered through your tummy, your chest, your breasts. Shan Yu grabbed your hand, taking it off your mouth.

"I will hear you," he demanded. "Don't hide yourself."

You held him by his forearm. "I want you," you moaned. "Please."

Shan Yu could've cum just by the look on your face. "It will hurt," he said. As if you didn't knew. "You don't need to."

He closed his eyes, trying to regain control over himself. To feel your taste on his tongue, your smell on his upper lip, the warmth of you bellow him. Shan Yu felt like a starving man being welcomed home with a full supper.

But you are no something he wants to consume. Shan Yu wants to devour you, to know every inch of your skin and all that things that make your body tremble. But Shan Yu don't want to take from you something he will never be able to give you back just because he wants to. He needs you, but you need to be the one chosing to do this.

"I'll stop," he moved away from you. You felt incomplete without his weight upon you. "I must stop."

You put your legs around his hips, locking him with you. "Make me feel yours," you purred. Don't matter what you sounded like: were the one demanding now. You stroked his forearms, trying your best to find the words you need. "I'm starving. Don't go."

You had seem him shirtless before. At training, after a battle when blood stained his body, when he went to sleep. But to see him whole... that made you lick your lips.

He was big. So big. You almost regret ever doing that. But his cock also made you salivate, so you pretend that you weren't scared. You wanted him inside you. You wanted Shan Yu to make you whole.

Even if it hurts.

Shan Yu slid his cock on your lips, and you felt yourself getting wetter. So warm. It twitched against you. When he started to enter you, you closed your eyes. This time Shan Yu let it pass.

It burned. Your insides ache, and it's been just the beginning. He was so thick. After a few seconds without moving, Shan Yu tried again.

This time you whimpered. "Fuck," you cried. "Wait, I..."

"As you... wish," Shan Yu moaned against your neck. You were so tight. So warm. You would be the end of him. "Stop squirming."

"I'm sorry," you cried. You tried to move away from him, but Shan Yu held you in place. "I hurted you?"

He groaned. "No, my moon," he whispered. Shan Yu strucked the skin of your hips, trying to calm you down. He could already smell the blood. "Far from it."

You held his hands, trying to not get lost on your mind. "I don't think it will fit," you whimpered. "It's too big."

You really were trying to made him go crazy, weren't you? "I will make it fit."

After a few seconds, you nodded. Slowly, Shan Yu did as he said. He made it fit. And by doing that, he reached a point that even through all that pain made you roll your eyes. You tried to forget about that burning pain and focus on his cock pressing against that sweet point.

When his fingers brushed against your clit, you held him closer. Your nails digged into his back, and your teeths into his shoulders. Shan Yu didn't care about the pain. All he did was to hold your head as he moved slowly.

"I think I..." You couldn't do anything but to feel, and you felt so much. You were drooling. "Fuck, Shan Yu..."

"You were made for me," Shan Yu whispered into your ears. "Made for me to love, for me to fuck you."

Not a word he said made to your brain. You couldn't hear him. You couldn't do anything but to feel tortured by how he kept on hitting that spot again and again. If you cry, it won't because of the pain.

When you trembled, it was like you died for a second. The pleasure hit you in waves so much stronger than you. Maybe you cried his name. Maybe you screamed it. Maybe you bit your lips until they bleed. You don't know. All you know is that it was so good.

With you shaking bellow him, Shan Yu came inside you. He groaned like an animal, and maybe at that moment he really were one.

"I think I drooled all over you," you chuckled as you cleaned his shoulders with your hand.

Shan Yu held your hands and kissed them, looking deep into your eyes. "What do you need?"

"A bath," you carressed his lips.

Shan Yu watched as his cum covered your lips. Your used cunt glowed. Such a pretty sight.

He took you into his arms, your legs around his hips, and lift you from bed. You giggled, once again feeling so weighless around him.

"Then I shall bath you," he said softly.

if you enjoyed, please reblog! i promise it makes a difference ♡

@ madwomansapologist.tumblr.

#madwomansapologist #prisoner/bride au #shan yu scenario #shan yu fanfiction #shan yu fanfic #shan yu mulan #shan yu x reader #shan yu #shan yu fic #shan yu x you #shan yu x y/n #disney classics #disney villains #disney animation #disney movies #disney villain scenario #disney villain x reader #disney villain

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mysteryshoptls · 6 months

Text

SSR Floyd Leech - Platinum Jacket Vignette

"Happy 100th Anniversary"

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Floyd: Honestly, before comin' here, I was only expecting to see paintings of the Great Seven…

Floyd: But there's actually a ton of unusual and cool lookin' stuff, like paintings of all their underlings.

Floyd: What should I check out next…? AH!

Floyd: It's the eels who worked for the Sea Witch. Look at those glowing eyes and those sharp fangs… So cool～

???: Hey, hey, don't you think these two look alike? Are they brothers?

Kalim: Also, kinda feels like they're similar to you and Jade.

Floyd: Oh hey, it's Sea Otter-chan. Yeah, I guess we might have similar color scales 'n all.

Floyd: But it's not like Jade and me think we're actually similar to each other at all.

Kalim: Eh, really?

Floyd: Yeah. Sometimes people'll mess me and Jade up and can't tell us apart, but I really don't get how they can't figure it out.

Floyd: Back when I first came to the surface, there was this one time that I got some funny looks in a hair salon that I went into for a haircut.

Floyd: They cut it just the way I asked, but what they were saying just wasn't adding up. And then, when I went to pay, they said this:

Floyd: "Leech-san, your hair grows back very quickly. I only just cut it a moment ago, I'm so surprised that it grew this long already."

Floyd: Yeaah, I'd say I was the one who was more surprised. This was my first time, but they said "a moment ago." Isn't that weird?

Kalim: Eh? What does it mean? Did you lengthen your hair with magic?

Floyd: Nah, come on, think. It was my first time in the shop, but…

Kalim: Ah, no way…!?

Floyd: Did you finally figure it out, Sea Otter-chan? Yeah, basically, Jade went and got his hair cut from the same place right before I did.

Kalim: I get it. So basically, the stylists there thought you two were the same person.

Floyd: Yup. Guess they didn't realize it because we both made the reservation under the name "Leech."

Floyd: Before that, even, when I went to get my passport photo taken to come to the surface, something similar happened.

Floyd: I'm like, seriously, how do they not realize it? Everyone's so bad at details.

Kalim: Wooow. I thought it'd be fun to have a twin sibling, but I guess it's not always great.

Floyd: Not really? Just like you said, there's a ton of fun that comes out of it.

Floyd: I'm never bored when Jade's around. Also…

Floyd: If I ever randomly feel like wearing something completely different from my usual stuff, I can just borrow stuff from him, from the clothes down to the shoes.

Floyd: Me 'n Jade like different colors and styles of clothes, and even go to completely different clothing stores.

Floyd: I can swap up my style in a snap, so it's actually pretty cool.

Kalim: Ahaha, yeah, that sounds like a blast!

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Kalim: The King of Beasts here looks like he's relaxing, what a great painting～!

Floyd: Oh, there's an explanation next to it. It says, "This depicts the scene where the hornbill chamberlain is soothing the King of Beasts with a song."

Floyd: Huuuuh. So even lions relax while listening to music, huh.

Floyd: They say that this king was always strategizing, so maybe it was important for him to have his relaxation time, huh.

Floyd: Y'know, Sea Lion-senpai's the same, but aren't lions always just sleeping?

Floyd: I thought they were supposed to be ferocious, but even when I went to the zoo as a part of our land boot camp, they were all asleep… That was a major letdown.

Kalim: Hm? What do you mean by boot camp? Did you attend somewhere else other than Night Raven College?

Floyd: Yeah. Uh, so basically, the land boot camp is basically where the merfolk that're lookin' to come up to the surface go to study and practice stuff about land.

Floyd: You live there for a month, and they do a ton of different lessons, like how to walk, or how to live on land.

Kalim: Wow, that sounds really cool! So, what kind of stuff did you learn at the zoo?

Floyd: Uhhh, something about figuring the differences out between land animals? I have a super hard time telling apart animals that look similar, so.

Floyd: At first, I thought a giraffe was just a horse with a long neck, and I couldn't even tell the difference between foxes, dogs, and racoons.

Kalim: FOXES AND DOGS AND RACCOONS～!? BUT THEY'RE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!?

Floyd: Are they? They're all fuzzballs to me.

Floyd: But I could tell that an elephant was different from horses and the like, because it wasn't all fuzzy.

Floyd: Oh yeah, and the lions too. I thought all those cats I'd run into would one day grow large like them.

Kalim: EEEHH!! You'd mix up cats and lions too? I don't think I've ever seen cats with a mane…

Kalim: Ah, but… I guess I can't say anything. I used to think that when dolphins grew up, they turned into whales.

Floyd: Huuuh～? No way that'd happen. Why'd you think the name'd change like that?

Kalim: I don't really know, but I think I can get how someone who was raised in the ocean could believe that a cat would grow into a lion.

Floyd: Yeah, yeah. I bet if one of you surface dwellers came to the ocean floor, there'd be a ton of stuff you don't know, too.

Floyd: ―Oooh! That painting over there looks awesome. I'ma go check it out.

Kalim: Oh, which one? …HEY, FLOYD! WAIT FOR ME, I'M COMING TOO!

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Floyd: The color composition in this painting's super amazing. The blue sky with the golden bug is a perfect combo.

Kalim: It's a painting of the Sorcerer of the Sands and a scarab! Both his posture and expression is really cool.

Floyd: I heard that this golden bug thing was the key to finding a magical cave… Why'd they make it look like a bug?

Floyd: Wouldn't that be hard to figure out? Insects and keys look nothin' alike.

Kalim: Hmmm, well, maybe… Maybe they tried to make it hard to figure out on purpose.

Kalim: They say there was some legendary treasure inside the cave. So I guess it's because no one would ever think a little bug would be the key, right?

Floyd: I get it. So then, if this was the ocean, the key might've been in the shape of a shell, or a crab.

Floyd: I bet it took the Sorcerer of the Sands a long time to find that magic cave because of that key.

Floyd: Or maybe, he was actually enjoying the treasure hunt?

Floyd: I know I get more excited tryin' everything I can to get my hands on something. The more difficult the better.

Kalim: What, have you gone treasure hunting too, Floyd?

Floyd: Not really treasure, but a ring.

Floyd: I once found this silver ring online that looks like an eel is wrapped around your finger.

Kalim: Woah! I've never seen a ring that looks like that before! I bet it'd look good on you.

Floyd: Riiight? But the manufacturers had already discontinued it. I wouldn't be able to find it so easily.

Floyd: And when something is hard to get… doesn't it just make you want it more?

Floyd: So, after that, I went looking for it, big time.

Floyd: I went 'round to a bunch of second-hand shops that carry the brand, and even asked my pops to reach out to some of his connections who'd know about stuff like that.

Floyd: I get bored pretty easily, so I usually don't try that hard trying to find just one thing. Cool, huh?

Kalim: You must have really wanted it, then! So? Were you able to find it?

Floyd: Yup. One of pop's connections was able to find it and get it for me.

Floyd: When I put it on, it totally felt like the ring was made just for me! And I got super attached to it.

Floyd: So then, I wore it pretty much all the time after that, even when I exercised or took showers…

Floyd: It ended up getting a ton of scratches, and got all tarnished, man～

Floyd: Silver stuff tends to degrade pretty quickly if you don't take care of it, but the ring's design was a bit complicated, so it was way too annoying to clean.

Kalim: Then, what if you remake it in platinum or white gold? They don't tarnish that easily. I can introduce you to one of my family's craftsmen!

Floyd: Naaah.

Kalim: Eh, why? I thought that was a pretty good idea…

Floyd: C'mon, Sea Otter-chan. I was all happy because it was hard to get my hands on.

Floyd: If I had someone make it for me, then that's not the same thing.

Floyd: It's 'cause it took a ton of hard work and searching for it was fun that I like that specific ring.

Floyd: Maybe it's a pain to clean, but I like it. So I'll use it until it breaks.

Kalim: Searching for it was fun, huh. I guess I never thought of it like that.

Kalim: Okay then, well, let me know if you're ever in a bind again. I'll totally help you then!

Floyd: 'Kaaay. I think I'm bored of this floor. I'm gonna go somewhere else. Bye, Sea Otter-chan.

Kalim: Yeah! See you later, Floyd.

Floyd: Hmmm, what should I look at next… Ooh. I've seen this painting of the Mer-King before, back in the ocean～

Floyd: I think they said that he was a super good guy, but could be unreasonable, too… Ugh, stubborn leaders like that sound like a paaain.

Floyd: Yeaaaah... The best kinda boss's gotta be someone like the benevolent Sea Witch.

#twisted wonderland #twst #floyd leech #kalim al-asim #twst floyd #twst kalim #twst translation #twst birthday #mention: jade #mention: leona

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furiousgoldfish · 8 months

Text

I'm going to sit down and try to explain this with patience, to everyone who still thinks calling out narcissistic abuse is 'ableist' or 'dehumanizing to the narcissists', and that abuse is something we're all equally capable of.

I don't think you understand what narcissistic abuse is, or how it differs from the other kinds of abuse. We can agree that all and any abuse is damaging, traumatic and scarring, but narcissistic abuse is so extremely pervasive, hidden, strategic and unbelievable, to the point where I can't honestly tell it's something any regular human would be capable of. And even more than this, the survivors of this particular type of abuse have found it extremely, extremely difficult to figure out they've been abused, even when they've been put through extreme, devastating, and absolutely dehumanizing scenarios. Realizing that your loved one is a narcissist requires your entire world to break down, and every piece of your heart shatters in the realization, and it takes months, even years to accept it.

The only way we can possibly figure it out is to connect the patterns. And patterns of the narcissistic abuse are focused on erasing one's own sense of self, one's perspective and ultimately, complete control over someone's emotions and behaviours. This is often done from early on, the grooming process starts at age zero, your value, worth and usefulness is determined by them, and you cannot wrangle yourself free from it on your own, not without someone confirming to you that you've been held captive, that your free will has been taken a long time ago.

Unfortunately, I have to give some examples, because I don't think it can be explained otherwise. When I was 2 years old, a narcissistic person found it a nuisance to watch over me, and they beat me up every time I disobeyed. I was a toddler. Then they proceeded to convince me that I was a demon, and would burn in hell regardless of what I do for the rest of my life. I've been brainwashed by this person to believe I was not a human being, had no human rights, that it was correct and regular for me to be locked up, beaten, and that it was my fault every single time, even when I did all that was asked of me. This person then had me comfort them after they would beat me, because it was a stressful experience for them. I wasn't allowed to cry. I would be beaten for making a face expression they didn't like. It was random and unexplainable.

Another narcissistic person created a game where they would give me wrong instructions for a task, then torture me when I did exactly as they instructed me to. It got to a point where I would beg them to tell me what to do correctly, and they would respond with a laughing 'you should be old enough to know this' and they would be even happier to beat me up and scream at me for getting it wrong. This person not only threatened to kill me regularly, but often made me believe I was in my last few seconds of life, putting me in position where I believed I was about to die. They forced me to work for them in unsafe conditions, heavy physical jobs, where I was not allowed to say I'm tired, not allowed to cry, and even after I'd do everything, they would still tell me I didn't deserve to eat. I was a child. I didn't think for a second I was being abused. I was already brainwashed to believe that everyone else had it worse, and that I was lucky.

I had no identity besides existing for them, I had no free will except to try and make myself into something they could use, and if I didn't do a good enough job, I'd be ostracized. They loved beating me, screaming at me and making me cry, and then they'd leave me in a room crying without being allowed to make any noise, while they laughed in the room next to me, as a family, loudly so I could hear what a great time they were having. They would treat other children gently in front of me in order to try and make me jealous. They would revise every part of what they did to me if I ever tried to bring it up. I wasn't allowed my own perspective, opinion, or complaint. I wasn't even allowed to remember the abuse correctly. I would be locked in a room and questioned and punished if my opinions weren't to their liking.

I don't believe this is something anyone is capable of doing. I don't believe anyone of us is capable of torturing a kid until the kid begs to be killed. I don't believe most of us are capable of erasing a child's point of view, their reality, their humanity to the point where the child is forced to live a life where they will either comply or be killed, and they will be tortured no matter what. This isn't a regular thing that a person can easily do.

Luckily, us who have been through this, have noticed that there is a specific pattern to their behaviour. That they use almost identical phrases with which their invoke guilt, fear and hopelessness. That they can go frighteningly fast from rage to laughter to acting hurt. That they enforce their will over ours with a specific type of terror that triggers both our survival instincts and our compassion and shame. That we've been groomed by them in an almost identical way - to not believe that we're allowed our own feelings, memories, opinions, point of view, or freedom. That we have learned to exist only to be an extension of them.

We also all noticed that we're all absolutely, beyond terrified of them, and that we don't feel we're allowed to say it, or think it. That we're taught by terror to keep believing that they're good people, that they do none of it on purpose, not even the most extreme, insane, egregious abuse. That they will go to any length, even committing more atrocities, to escape accountability. That they use tactics of darvo, gaslighting, double-bind, planting insecurities, triangulating, future faking, discarding, love bombing, mirroring, smear campaigns, projection, scapegoating, silencing, throwing tantrums, victim playing, like it's in their second nature. That they're genuinely, absolutely terrifying and almost unreal in how far they're capable of going. And most of all, that they are dangerous, and capable of completely turning another human being into their puppet, and never think for a second that it might be wrong. To them, we are nothing more but toys to manipulate, control, and discard. We are disposable. There is no limit to what they can do to us, because to them, we are not alive. They would do to us what normal people wouldn't do to a corpse. And they feel superior for it.

People abused by narcissists from early age are likely to develop the most complex and extreme disorders, complex ptsd and dissociative identity disorder being some of them, because that's what it takes to survive being a child and existing next to a narcissist. This means that small children need to be shattered in pieces in order to please the narcissist. Others that are very common are eating disorders, anxiety, depression, paranoia, avoidant personality disorder, panic disorder, and compulsions to cater to everyone's needs, to the point of our own destruction. This is what they make of us, on purpose, in order for us to be of use to them. And they will forever insist it's their right.

When I'm saying the word 'narcissist', I am not referring to 'anyone diagnosed with npd', I am referring to a person who will do this to a child, and insist on doing it for the rest of the child's life. I am writing it because I don't want children to have to live like this forever. I am not aiming to dehumanize the narcissist, their actions show who they are, I am saying, be careful and aware that this person will dehumanize you. That you are disposable to them. That making you feel good in order for you to like them, is a game to them, and one they're very good at. That playing the victim at you and demanding justice, will easily manipulate you into standing against the victims of abuse and talking down to them for 'dehumanizing their abusers', and being 'ableist to the npd', after being tortured past the point of return by those people.

A lot of us are permanently damaged by what's been done to us. We are not asking for justice. We're not asking for revenge. We are asking to be safe. We're asking for this to stop. We're asking for children not to be left alone with people who are dangerous to this level. We're asking you to understand that a narcissist left alone with a child means a child in danger.

It's common to not be aware just how bad it can go, because we think that most humans know not to torture a child. We believe that nobody would do things to children that narcissists do. If you read the stories of the survivors, you'll find out what actually happens behind closed doors. The themes of torture, dehumanization, sexual abuse, brainwashing, violence, and extreme cruelty are common, even towards toddlers.

I need you to not attack those children when they grow up and say they no longer want to be around narcissists. I need you to understand that they know what they're talking about when they say it's not safe, that they want to be protected. The society already failed to protect them at their most vulnerable, and they had to make it alive by their wits alone. And now you won't even let them speak without attacking them? It's inexcusable.

If you want to know about the narcissists, read what their victims have gone through. Then make a judgment on whether we're allowed to speak, and whether it's worth warning others to hold caution. I've heard and read stories of narcissistic parents sex-trafficking their own child, holding them captive and locked up and convincing them it's right to do this, using brutal punishments to 'train' them into inhumane slave-like behaviour, keeping the children in state so terrified the children wished they were dead. And in all those cases, they still convinced the children to love their parents, and to never blame them for any kind of abuse. Yes, even in the sex-trafficking cases.

Fighting for those children to realize that they didn't deserve that, is the only correct thing to do. Fighting to help them realize they're in danger, and that they deserve safely, it's not only right but extremely necessary, it's what we all should be putting all of our energy into.

Wanting to keep others safe will never be wrong. Wanting to protect those who still have their identity, their sense of self, their undamaged humanity, their free will and their point of view, that's worth fighting for! And above all, those who already lost it all, need to be protected. We cannot allow for already badly wounded people to be dehumanized over and over again. Nobody deserves that.

#narcissistic abuse #tw child abuse #tw child trafficking mention #narcissistic parents #toxic parents #psychological abuse #taking children's identity and self perception #to train them into personal toys and disposable puppets #while neglecting the children to the point where children don't realize they have the right to feelings #or even to exist without the parent's approval #devastating abuse #abuse

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seeingivy · 1 year

Text

soulmates

levi ackerman x f!reader

a game of taboo makes you wonder if levi is your soulmate

content: post war levi, domestic fluff, mentions of nightmares, falco + gabi, kinda manga spoilers?, blood

Every weekend, you and Levi open up the likes of your tea shop and your home to your two favorite kids - Falco and Gabi. Not that Levi would ever tell them that. It was a tradition the four of you adopted after Reiner went out of town on a trip that you continued after he returned. The four of you enjoy each others company more than most.

Falco and Gabi always help you and Levi with the shop on Friday, granted creating more of a mess than actually helping. While you and Levi had adopted a pace to making drinks at the shop, like a well oiled machine, Falco and Gabi were anything but.

Gabi was all about speed. She wanted to make all the orders as fast as she could, not caring who or what, she had to trample over to get there. You swear the girl has nearly knocked you off your feet a few times, which earns her a scolding from Levi.

Falco was all about precision. He wanted to make all the orders as perfect as possible, not caring how long it could take. You swore he could spend an entire day steeping if he could. You’re sure the habit is no thanks to Levi, who always sends the poor kid back whenever he asks him to make his tea.

After finishing up at the shop, you and Levi close up, letting Falco and Gabi play the board games or read the books you have set out in your apartment for them. Games, from you. Books, from Levi. It goes to say that the spines of the book are in perfect state from never being opened.

On this lovely Friday, Gabi and Falco had picked out Taboo for the four of you to play. You and Falco chose to team up like you did every week, the two of you a dream team of sorts. Meanwhile, Levi and Gabi begrudgingly worked together, butting heads every time the game started. They were both used to taking charge and making the plays, which led to arguments on how they should strategize and win. Meanwhile, you and Falco worked out a system - taking turns calling the shots which fared very well for the two of you.

The game is chaotic, with Levi and Gabi aggressively trying to guess the words at the top of the card. You and Falco can’t help but laugh at their turns, the two of them arguing about the semantics of the words and scolding each other for losing out the points each time. Meanwhile, you and Falco have a civilized conversation, high fiving every time you could figure out the word together.

On your turn, you lift the card to your forehead, Falco smiling in excitement.

“This one’s easy. You and Levi.”

“Me and Levi? Is it business owners?”

“No. Think about what you guys are.”

“Adults? A couple? Short?”

Levi grabs the back of your head, turning your face towards his.

“I’ll pretend like I didn’t hear that last one, brat.”

You see Gabi and Falco laughing from your peripheral and you roll your eyes at him in response.

“Military? Leaders?”

The buzzer rings and you remove the card from your forehead to check the word. You hear Gabi and Levi taunting you in the background, but you’re too busy staring down at the card. Gabi leans over, flipping the card from your fingers to read the word.

“The word is soulmates, Mr. Levi.”

“Soulmates?”

You turn your head at Levi saying the word.

“Soulmates, Mr. Levi, are people who are made for each other. The person who balances you out, the one you’re destined to be with. You can swear you’ve met them before, your souls together in the previous life and the next too. Like you and Miss Y/N. ”

Levi turns to Falco, his gray eyes glaring at him. He turns to you, his gaze noticeably softening. You’re sure your cheeks are beet red by now and you try to divert the subject.

“I’m going to start dinner. Whose turn is it to help me?”

“Mine.”

Your eyes widen as you turn to Levi, cursing yourself for asking in the first place.

“You guys only played a few rounds. Stay here, I can handle it this week, Lee’.”

You stand up before he can respond, basically running to the kitchen.

“But Mr. Levi, wasn’t it my turn?” asks Falco, turning his head to the side to look at Levi.

“Yes. Shut up and play the game brat.”

After dinner, you and Levi pull out the air mattress the four of you sleep on. While you used to set up the guest rooms - you and Gabi in one and Falco and Levi in your bedroom - the four of you had been sleeping together in the living room as of late.

It all started a few weeks ago, on a particularly bad night for you. Falco and Gabi ran into your room to find you screaming in your sleep, Levi hunched over you trying to pull you awake. When you came to, you held onto Levi, the tears streaming from your eyes.

“Miss Y/N. What happened?”

You turn to your side to find Falco and Gabi crying at your side, their faces pink. You motioned for the two of them to join you and Levi on the bed, the four of you sitting criss cross to face one another.

“Nightmares, Falco. I’m okay.” you whisper.

“I get those too. Bad ones.”

The three of you look over, Gabi’s head in her hands. You move her hands, guiding her face to meet your gaze.

“Mine are always about Hange. I see them in the air, skin on fire. I try to stop them in the dream, but they’re gone by the time I get to them. They never get up, no matter how hard I try, how fast I move.….they still die in my arms every time I close my eyes.”

You feel Levi shift behind you, his hand making its way into your hair. He brushes through the tangles, attempting to fix your bedhead. You warm at the thought, Levi’s touch comforting you all together.

“I’m killing Sasha, watching her blood spill onto the floor. Or watching Eren become the Attack Titan, his skeleton spinning into the air while the walls come down.”

She pauses, the words dying in her throat.

“Falco turns into a titan, his warm eyes replaced with that lifeless, horrifying look in his eyes. He’s gone. And it’s all my fault.”

Falco reaches for her hand, the three of you squeezing your hands together.

“You didn’t tell me, Gabi.” whispers Falco, turning to face her.

“It’s embarrassing. That stuff is over but I can’t stop thinking about it.”

“It’s not over, not for us anyway. Sometimes I swear I can still see that girl, Ymir’s memories. I wake up in a cold sweat, dreaming of being her as she’s crushed in Galliard’s teeth. Or I see Colt. Him embracing me while I kill him.”

You hold your arms open, the two of them moving into your arms. You feel the two of them crying onto your shirt, as you press a kiss to the top of their heads. You turn to face Levi, his expression steely. You knew the look all too well, after being at Levi’s side for years. He felt guilty. You’re not sure what for.

“I have them too.”

Gabi and Falco turn to face Levi, shocked at his words. While you opened up to the two of them often, Gabi and Falco rarely had heart to hearts with Levi. They never hated him for it, understanding that he had every reason to be guarded, more than most. The only person he really talked to was you.

He reaches over, his hands brushing across the scars on your forehead and then your neck. You’re taken back to the moment, being nearly crushed in Zeke’s grasp as you guys stood on the Attack Titan. Levi had gotten to you in time, severing you out of Zeke’s hold, but he wasn’t fast enough to catch you before you fell down.

“My nightmare is that I killed you. Every time I close my eyes, all I see is you falling, after I cut you down. I reach you and you’re dead. No sparkling eyes looking at me, no stupid remarks when I talk to you. You’re still. Quiet. Lifeless. And it’s all my fault. I wake up every night, pressing my fingers against your neck just to make sure you’re still here.”

You reach forward, pulling him into your embrace. You place your hand on the side of his hair, the other arm still slung around Gabi and Falco. The four of you sit like that for a while, no one reaching to breaking the silence.

“Mr. Levi. Can we sleep here?” he whispers, looking up at Levi.

You and Levi move, opening up the covers for the two of them to climb in between you. Within a few minutes, the two of them are fast asleep, the tear stains now dry against their cheeks. You and Levi face each other, interlocking fingers over the two of them.

“Whatcha thinking about, Miss Y/N?”

You turn to find Falco, pulling out his pajamas near the mattress. You shake your head, throwing away the memory all together as you finish putting the bed together.

“Nothing, Falco. Levi’s in the bathroom. Go brush your teeth.”

He jumps off, retreating to your bathroom. You move towards the guest bathroom, finding Gabi brushing her teeth by the sink. You join her, the two of you making faces at each other as you finish up.

“Braids, Gabs?”

She nods, sitting up on the counter as you start brushing your fingers through her hair. You section off parts of her hair, getting to work on braiding her brown hair.

“Do you not think Levi is your soulmate?”

“What?”

“It’s just that earlier, the card. You seemed uncomfortable when Falco said you guys were.”

You sigh, twisting her hair in your fingers.

“It’s not that, Gabi. Don’t soulmates have to be reciprocal?”

“You don’t think you’re his soulmate?”

“I don’t know. He’s lost so many people but I’m unsure of how he felt about them and how he feels about me. Sometimes I wonder if they were still here, I wouldn’t be the one next to him. Maybe he would want it to be one of them instead.”

“I don’t think so, Miss Y/N. He loves you. The thing he’s most scared to lose is you.”

“That’s because I’m the only thing left, Gabi.”

Levi and Falco burst in, Falco nearly falling face first into the floor. You and Gabi turn to your side, glaring at the two of them for interrupting your conversation. You see Falco’s eyes shine at the sight of you braiding Gabi’s hair.

“Gabi! You look so pretty.”

You watch Gabi flush at his words, running out of the room to avoid making eye contact with him. He follows, screaming an apology at her.

“Brats. They’re hopeless.”

“She’s hopeless. I bet she does this everyday, because there’s no way Falco walks around without saying something like that to her.”

He nods in agreement as you clear the sink from the brushes and elastics you were using in her hair. You look into the mirror to find Levi staring at you.

“What? Do I have something on my face?”

“No.”

“Then why are you staring?”

He reaches forward, crushing you in his arms. You feel his heart pounding in his chest as he holds you even harder in his arms. He lets go, running his eyes over you.

“You okay, Levi?” you whisper, staring into his gray eyes.

“Yeah, it’s just-”

He’s cut off by Falco and Gabi, who barge into the room again.

“Oh, sorry. We were just going to ask when you wanted to sleep.”

Levi turns to you, giving you a smile before turning to glare at the two of them. He pushes Gabi out of the room and you sling your arm around Falco as you follow them.

“Did no one teach you brats how to knock?”

“No. My parents died in the rumbling before they could teach me that.”

“Your parents dropped you off here. You’re real funny brat.”

You wake up, a cold sweat running down the side of your back. Sasha in a pool of her own blood. You look over, Gabi and Falco are still fast asleep under the blanket. Levi is absent from the mattress and you peer around for any signs of where he went.

You spot his black hair through the window of the balcony, him sitting on the floor out there. You pull your jacket (it’s Levi’s but who’s paying attention?) and join him out there, moving to sit next to him. He tenses at the contact, before opening up his arm for you to rest against him. You lean your back against his chest, his chin resting on top of your head.

The two of you sit in silence, staring out at the neighborhood over you. You lean into his embrace, thanking whatever gods there were for letting you be the one next to Levi in this moment.

“It was always going to be you.”

“Hm?”

“The person next to me. It was always going to be you.”

You sit up, turning your back to face him. You’re unsure what he’s talking about, confused by his admittance all together.

“I heard you talking to Gabi earlier. If they were still here, you would still be the one I want by my side.”

You feel your cheeks burning, embarrassed Levi had heard you confessing your insecurities to a twelve year old girl.

“I’m sorry, Levi. I didn’t mean it like that. I know how you feel about me.”

Hie expression pinches and you can feel him tense behind your back. You curse yourself for placing doubt in his mind after everything he did for you.

“I…loved them. They were both special to me, my best friends.”

You nod, cradling the side of his face in your hand.

“I know, Levi. You don’t need to explain.” you whisper.

“But they’re not special the way you are. It sounds bad but I don’t love them like I love you. I’d be done for if you were the one gone instead of them.”

You smile, glowing at his words. You knew Levi loved you, but he was hardly one to ever say it. Make no mistake, he showed it to you everyday - leaving tea out for you, making the dinner you like, buying flowers that remind him of you. But he was never the best at saying it, which did leave you to wonder at times.

“Me too, Levi. As weird as it is to say, sometimes I feel lucky that you and I get to do this. Run a tea shop. Have the kids come around. Walk in the markets. I mean this time last year we were cradling each other's nearly dead bodies.”

He pauses, swallowing hard before answering.

“The next life will be nicer to us. I mean the odds are fucking impossible - anything is better than this.”

“The next life?”

“Soulmates. Your souls are together in the previous life and the next.”

You feel your chest warm at his words, at him calling you his soulmate. You lean forward, pressing a kiss to his soft lips.

Levi walks Gabi and Falco home the next morning, leaving you snoring in the mattress behind. Gabi and Falco press kisses to your head, telling Levi they’ll bring dessert when they come next week.

Levi returns, groceries in hand. He makes breakfast, starting a cup of tea as you pad into the kitchen. Still half asleep, you swing your arms against his torso, leaning your face against his back.

“Kids gone?”

“Mhm. Dropped them off earlier. I got the apples you wanted yesterday while I was out.”

You turn to the counter, rummaging through the bag Levi brought. You take out the flowers he brought from the market - a bouquet of red tulips. You smile, setting them aside to put in a vase later.

As you look for the apples, you find a small green box. You take it out and click it open, a simple silver band in the box.

“Levi.”

“Hm?”

“Did you buy me a ring?”

You see his expression pale, as he reaches over trying to take the box from you. You’re able to avoid his grasp for a few seconds, but he gets it back in the end.

“You’re so damn nosy, brat.”

“Why are you trying to hide it? Buy it for your secret girlfriend instead of me?” you tease.

“You get stupider as time goes on. It’s obviously yours. I was waiting to give it to you.”

You smile, holding your hands out so he can give you the box back. As he reaches out to place the box in your hands, you pause spotting an identical silver band on his ring finger.

“You have the same one!”

“Yes. That’s the point, idiot.”

You look up at him, staring into his eyes. You suddenly feel nervous. Last night, Levi called you his soulmate. And today he bought you rings. Matching ones.

“What does it mean? I mean, am I really all that?” you whisper.

“It doesn’t mean anything.”

You deflate, dejected by his words. While the implication of matching rings made you nervous, nauseous even, his fast rejection made you feel even worse.

“Oh. Okay, yeah.”

“I didn’t-”

You can see the frustration rising to his face, his eyes squinting at you.

“I didn’t mean it like that. You mean everything. I just mean we don’t have to do anything. If you don’t want to. They’re just rings. We can do all that whenever we want to.”

You look up at him, smiling at his nervous expression.

“I mean everything?” you ask, smirking at him.

He prods his fingers into your forehead, pushing you back into the chair. He places the breakfast he just made in front of you along with a cup of green tea.

“You’re hopeless, brat.”

Falco and Gabi return the next week, accompanied with a box of mochi Reiner had bought for the two of you. As you and Levi take to make dinner, Falco and Gabi lean over the counter, whispering at the sight of you.

“They’re wearing matching rings.”

“What? Where, Falco?”

“On their ring fingers. Look.”

“They’re getting married, Falco! Does this mean I get to be a flower girl?”

You and Levi smile at each other, trying your best not to laugh at the two of them whispering (yelling) over the counter. Levi turns towards them, placing their food in front of them.

“We’re not getting married, brat. Not yet, anyways.”

“YOU COULD HEAR THAT?”

You turn to join the three of them, balancing your plate and Levi’s in your hand.

“You’re not the best whisperer, Gabs. Sorry.”

“Who bought them, Miss Y/N?”

“Levi did, Falco. Last week after he dropped you off.”

“Told you he was whipped for you. He looks like a kicked dog every time you walk away from him.”

“Keep talking, brat. I can easily convince her to pick another flower girl.”

You and Levi turn to Gabi, a wide smile spreading across her face.

“Wait, so you’d actually consider me?”

“Well yeah. Who else would do it?”

She runs across the table, pulling the both of you together in a hug. Falco jumps up as well, running to join the three of you. The two of them shout in their excitement, shaking the two of you in their hold. Gabi grabs Falco’s hand, dragging him onto the balcony to look at which flowers would be best for the ceremony.

“Since when does that murderous brat like flowers? It’s sickening.”

“She’s just excited, Levi. Getting to be a part of it all and everything.”

“We aren’t even getting married yet.” he deadpans.

“What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.”

You turn to him, interlocking your fingers with his as the two of you eat your food. You hear the two of them chattering outside and thank the gods, for keeping the other half of your soul next to you.

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