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#and the absolute warmest hugs
gentlebeard · 3 months
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If I could hold you for a minute, Darling, I’d go through it again
For @edsbacktattoo & @stedesearring 💕 Show: Our Flag Means Death - Season 1 & 2 Music: Francesca by Hozier YouTube
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enoe-of-noen · 6 days
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An Mc who is warm
It’s cold down in the Devildom, why wouldn’t those closest to Mc use them as their very own portable heater?
☞ Established relationships, lots of words
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Lucifer
Taking full advantage.
Steals Mc away on certain exhausting nights when the breeze is harsh. The scratching of branches raking the glass.
Loves to have you on his lap for maximum warmth.
Maybe, after he’s done with this pile, can you join him in bed?
Please take the offer. He won’t ask twice, but he really needs it.
When Mc finally agrees, after a bit of teasing, they’ll gladly snuggle in the eldest’s arms.
During the day, Lucifer makes it a point to have his hand on Mc whenever they see each other.
Whether it’s a holding theirs for a kiss, a hand on their shoulder, a hand in their hair, a hand on their cheek, etc.
Since he wears gloves, he finds it most effective to hug them briefly before leaving them to their activities.
Mammon
He’s grabsy
“My human!”
“Yoink!”
Mc is always stolen away by him at any. Given. Moment.
They’re never safe from his grasp.
Never.
Mammon’s hands are all over Mc!
In their hair, under their shirt massaging their back, on their cheeks, on their thighs, on their hips, whatever he feels like
He loves hugging Mc from behind
“Mmn, warm, warm for me.” He cooes
“Mams. I have to go.”
“Nuh uh.”
“Fym nuh uh?!”
Mc will not be leaving his grasp any time soon~
Leviathan
Wow! Humans are really warm!
“Mc, Mc! I hope this isn’t too much to ask but, can you…sit here, while I game tonight?”
Levi pointed at his lap, blushing furiously.
This is embarrassing, isn’t it?
Is it too much?
Is it too weird?!
He won’t worry too long though, it is pretty chilly tonight and Mc is down to cuddle <3
Loves feeling their hands on his cheeks, squeeze them a bit if you wanna~
Hisses softly whenever he feels their warm hands, always accompanied by a cute smile
Hides his face under Mc’s chin, having easy access to their collarbone
Prefers Mc touching him rather than him touching them most days
Lets him know he’s loved and that Mc wants to be there for him
In public, he’ll always be holding their hand
Satan
Kisses their palm whenever they go to touch his cheeks.
Feel free to use him as a chair, he absolutely loves the warmth and attention.
Pets Mc like a cat, playing with their hair.
“Just a second longer, dear,” he hums.
“You said that 30 minutes ago,” Mc grumbles, feeling stiff.
Satan laughs whenever you complain.
Doesn’t stop his arms snaking their way around your waist though.
“Good book, at least?” Mc looks at the book in Satan’s free hand.
“Very much so.” He grins.
Otherwise around in the Devildom, Satan always lends a hand for Mc to hold.
His hands get chilly easily~
Asmodeus
Y’all already know~
All over you, all the time!
I mean, who wouldn’t be down here?~
Your hands are easiest to access of course.
You have such nice hands to hold, hon~ <3
Loves it <33
Surprise hugs! Tight ones, might I add.
Humans sure are cuddly, I love it!!~
No moment together is spent apart by any means.
Hands, hair, hips, arms, cheek-to-cheek even!
You’ll never feel alone with Asmo around, that’s for sure!
Definitely gives Mammon a run for his money
Beelzebub
Best hugger around totally not biased
Loves when Mc is able to face him, that way he can feel their breath
A little reminder they’re alive
Besides, gives him easy kissing access which is also warm in temperature
Always at Mc’s side; they radiate heat in the cold, dark Devildom
Loves resting his hand on their stomach, it’s the second warmest part of their body!
Whenever they’re sitting on the couch, Beel makes it a point to get between Mc’s thighs
It is so incredibly warm
He doesn’t care that he gets stares, it’s too comfy not to do
Belphegor
His naps have transcended
He is blessed to have Mc down in the Devildom with him
Uses you more like a weighted blanket sometimes
Cuddles, cuddles, cuddles
Always slumps over Mc’s shoulder in public or when he’s too sleepy
Instant smile on his face, even if for a split second
“Belphie?”
“You’re warm.”
“…fine.”
Free head pats for being cute! That’s a win for Belphie!
His hands often travel
Maybe too much
This devious little shit
Diavolo
“Dearest Mc!”
Makes it a habit to ruffle your hair whenever he passes by.
You emit so much heat that he can feel it just by petting your scalp.
Humans are fascinating!
Whenever Mc gets to stay over at the castle, he adores resting his head on their lap.
Mc admits the slight bedhead he gets from it is adorable.
Big arms give big hugs!
Get hugged at the most unexpected moment, Mc! Hahaha!
Always catches Mc off guard (unlike with the brothers)
Barbatos
Busy man, unfortunately. Not many opportunities for him to appreciate your warmth.
However, when he does, his hands travel.
Skillfully removing his gloves desperately.
Your skin is soft under his.
“How about a massage, Mc?” He’ll offer.
Easiest way of feeling your warmth without too much creepiness.
Such a calming atmosphere.
How can one resist the temptation?
Simeon
It was difficult moving from the Celestial realm to the Devildom at first.
Until, of course, he met Mc.
Gloves on, gloves off, doesn’t matter.
Holds hands, hands in hair, hands on shoulder.
Seems to instinctively lean on Mc.
Mc found it weird but more endearing the closer they got.
Touches go both ways, Simeon giving way more access.
Surprisingly, having come somewhat recently from the Celestial realm, Mc also feels warm back.
A win-win situation!
Solomon
A little sappy to admit, but your warmth makes him feel so…human.
Reminds him of times he’d relax, longing for human interaction.
He’d gone so long without it, forgetting he was one himself.
Tears up when the thoughts get him late at night.
He’ll always have an arm wrapped around either your shoulder or waist.
Please keep close.
You give him so much just by being warm, his heart pounds.
No matter if his facade of being the all powerful wizard crumbles slightly, he’ll be human with you.
He is human with you.
Luke
Luke is clinging onto you everywhere!
Like a cute little koala
Holding onto your leg (if you’re tall enough)
Loves being carried by you (if you can), gets to snuggle real close
Holds your hand like a child being led by their parent
Reminds him of the warmth in the Celestial realm
Easily got close with you, no questions asked
Just a little bundle of joy!
Raphael
Despite not being seen around together often, Raphael makes an effort to offer his touch.
Being quite new and unfamiliar with the Devildom, he’s also unfamiliar with its coldness.
“Hello, Mc. I know this is an odd request, but may I hold your hand?”
If he absolutely needs it, he doesn’t see the problem with calling upon his heavenly spears.
Watch yourself, Mc.
Mephistopheles
Ah, Mc.
Whenever he sees you around, he enjoys the heat you radiate.
Oh, come closer. The students here are quite dangerous.
That’s a ploy.
He just wants contact. You’re very warm, you know?
Thirteen
Flamboyantly steals you away, as any great trickster would!
Never a quiet moment with her, whether it be her inventions or her rambles, you’ll love it
If not, she can take a hint
Touch, touch, touch! Blush, blush, blush! You are now her big fat crush!
Be honored, human, hahaha!
Can’t believe humans could be so warm!
A treasure to hold and keep!
Mine!
Often has to fight for it
Which is totally worth it when she wins
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Don’t know the last three well, so yeah. Hope you enjoy. This took way longer than it should’ve.
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am-i-interrupting · 1 month
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Imagine a reader who just avoids any possible touch. Even more touch repulsed than Alastor. Always wearing gloves, taking a few steps back when someone approches them too near. But just one day they randomly open arms for a hug and give the warmest, the comfiest, the fuzziest hug ever.
If you like what I’m doing consider tipping me for priority requests & access to characters I don’t usually write for such as Charlie, Valentino, Carmilla, and more.
Alastor
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Alastor fully understands disliking touch.
He will never pressure you to touch him because you do the same.
You will have to be in his general vicinity though.
He will float the barrier between too close and just far enough:
Overall, he is absolutely fine with you disliking touch because he’s rather the same.
However, after the battle, when he came back, he expected nothing more from you than than a nod and words.
He was surprised to be suddenly knocked down with the force of your hug, your arms engulfing his entire being.
He sort of laughs from shock, his laugh track playing in the background before his laugh escaped his lips.
Slowly wraps one arm around you as he uses the other to steady himself.
“Did you miss me that much, my deer?”
Husk
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Husk is a casually affectionate person.
He likes to hold hands and absentmindedly stroke down the length of fingers.
His hand will slide across someone’s back as he moves past them.
For you he made the conscious effort to not do that, no matter how much he wanted to.
He didn’t for you because he cared.
When one day you crawled over the counter and he looked at you confused.
Then, as you moved to slide off, you placed your hands on his shoulders and pulled him in for a hug.
His wings fluttered in shock, knocking some glasses over but he immediately began purring.
His arms wrapped around you so tightly, so protectively,
His wings covered your embrace from prying eyes.
He leaned his head against yours and then placed it in the crook of your neck.
He savored the moment.
Lucifer
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Lucifer is very well acquainted with having no touch but his own. He’s used to it at this point.
There’s a bit of sadness when he figures out you’re not a touchy person but he’ll live.
He yearns for your touch but makes due with the touch of others.
This man is touch starved.
He won’t admit it though.
When you just randomly wrap your arms around him, he makes a little “Oh!” noise.
“Is everything alright?”
He wraps his arms around you, loosely, not wanting to scare you away.
His touch is so soft, so careful.
“I just love you.”
He gets teary eyed and repeats the sentiment.
Vaggie
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Vaggie is not a very touchy person.
She’s not opposed to it but it’s not often she seeks it out.
She is alright not being touched by you.
It doesn’t bother her much at all.
Then you wrap your arms around her after she regrows her wings and her angelic background is reveal and she folds.
She needed this hug.
She needed to know that you were here and present and not going away.
She holds you with all her might.
Vox
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Vox pretends he’s alright without touch.
He doesn’t know that people can see him stare longingly at your hands, your waist, your shoulders, your face, just itching to hold them all.
When you do hug him, he’s hesitant.
“What’s wrong, doll?”
He doesn’t believe you when you tell him nothing.
He’ll slowly push you back using the most careful touch and just look at you, making sure it is, indeed, you.
After confirming you’re not an imposter, he places his hand on the back of your neck and pulls you in for a hug.
If you like what I’m doing consider commissioning me for canon/canon stories AND personalized canon/reader stories.
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spacebarbarianweird · 2 months
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Hi! I absolutely love your headcannons!! Would it be possible for me to request sick Astarion? Or Astarion with a sick Tav? :)
Hi! Thank you for your request! I think I can do both!
Masterlist
Headcanons
Caring for their sick partner
Astarion takes care of you
He isn't a nurturing type.
He doesn't really care about himself let alone someone else!
Besides, it's not like he used to hang out with mortals a lot.
During your post-game adventures, you end in the far north in the middle of winter.
Astarion doesn't feel cold, but he notices you feel uncomfortable near him - his body is cold, and he steals the heat you need so much.
It causes tension between you two - one of the first challenges for you as a couple.
During a fight, you fall through the ice and almost die in the dark cold waters.
Astarion saves you but the damage is done.
You are severely sick.
Astarion freaks out.
You are dying in his arms.
He has to save you. He won't lose you.
Astarion manages to dress you in dry and warm clothes. He leaves you by the fire for a bit to hunt - you need food, and Astarion needs blood to warm you.
Then, when you stabilize, he carries you to the closest village and gives you all the money you've earned in your travels for a room in the inn.
He spoon-feeds you and wraps you in the warmest blankets.
Sometimes you pout, refusing to take one more bitter medicine, but he can't take this nonsense - you are going to get better. Period.
When you wake up, still in fever, Astarion is always near. Either wrapping you with his blood-warm body or with his ear on your chest as if he was afraid your heart was going to stop at any given moment.
As the spring comes, you finally get better. Astarion gives you a bath, and you realize how itchy and sweaty your body is.
Then he lashes at you, of course.
You were reckless, you were risking yourself. How could you?
But you know he speaks out of fear, and you comfort him, promising to never put yourself in danger without a need.
You take care of Astarion
If you weren't a nurturing type, you wouldn't end up with Astarion.
The man needs help and care, something he never had.
You comfort him after the nightmares and kiss away his tears.
He doesn't need to be cared for physically - once the tadpole is removed, he regenerates, and it's impossible to wound him.
But he is a mental wreck who can have a meltdown over a trigger word or a cruel flashback after an innocent action.
But he is far from invincible.
He is being reckless and ends up surrounded by monster hunters.
They chain him in silver and leave him helpless on the ground to see the sun.
You manage to come to the rescue - and murder all three of them.
But as you fight, the sun rises, and it burns Astarion.
It's almost too late for him when you set him free and drag him to the shadows.
The regeneration is slowed down - the burns are as bad as if he survived a fire.
You give him blood. All you can do without killing yourself.
The assault causes one of the worst setbacks in his healing process.
Astarion is almost catatonic - curling in the darkest corner of the room in the fetal position.
You can only guess what prison his tortured mind is locked in.
You talk to him. Hug him. Takes care of his hair. Caress his back.
Days become weeks, weeks become months - and one evening Astarion is finally back.
He wraps his hand around you and nuzzles your collarbone.
By the end of the night, Astarion is his true self again, ready for everything freedom has to offer.
"I was there, in the tomb," he confesses. "I was locked there, in the dark, and all my life looked like a feverish dream."
"I am here, love," you say. "I will always be here for you."
You pretend you don't see his tears as you say it.
--
Tag list
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jaehyunsprincesspeach · 5 months
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hi! hope you’re doing well and staying healthy 🩵
I was wondering if I could request a wayv reaction to their s/o out of nowhere smothering them with kisses please? hehe that’ll be all
thanks! <3
omg i literally love this my heart is sparkling !!
hope you enjoy !!
all the love ~ lunar
WayV Reactions: smothering them with kisses
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Kun
initially he is going to be shocked, but like he would just kinda freeze where he is and process what is happening
once he finally understands that you are showing your love and affection, he swoops you into the warmest embrace
even if he tried, the smile etched on his lips is not going away any time soon
he would do one of those hugs where he picks you up and spins you around (a dream truly)
once he sets you back on the ground, he gladly returns the affection, making you flustered too
now the two of you are a blushing giggling mess but like its the cutest thing in the world
with Kun, there’s something about it that’s almost like …. domestic
like the two of you never really get out of the honeymoon phase cause yall are just so excited when you get to see each other
and things like this never fail to show that
rest of members below the cut
Ten
oh goodness ….
at first he might question whats happening
like whats with the sudden rush of affection (not that hes complaining)
would first ask if you’re okay
and then this man is going to tease you relentlessly
“you miss me baby?” “i know, you want me so bad”
low key his teasing might ruin the moment
however !! he never fails to bring it back
like if u smother him with affection, and he starts teasing you, and you give him the side eye, hes gonna grab you and wrap you up in his arms and start leaving smooches all over your neck
slight chance it could turn into something steamyyy ;)
Winwin
genuinely would not know what to do
like he would turn into a sim (iykyk)
and would become an absolute blushing mess
once you’re done, he would just smile, and kiss your cheek
but honestly he would be too stunned to speak, like he would just be there blushing and giggling to himself
i think he has a little bit of a hard time in the sense that he always wants to make others happy, but when someone like compliments him, or when his partner shows him affection, he might freeze a little
but once he becomes more comfortable with the spontaneous smooches, hes more than happy to return them !!
honestly i think he would have an easier time showing affection to his partner
but he still would freeze up when the affection is a surprise like this
loves it regardless !!
Xiaojun
sweet baby angel is so shocked…
like he initially is worried that you’re upset about something, or that he hasn’t given you enough attention
starts asking if you are okay, or if something is wrong
once he finds out you’re okay, he smiles and pulls you in for a hug
he’s so sweet, but the embrace is low key a cover for the tickles that hes about to shock you with
will literally stand there tickling you, not to be mean or anything like that, just because he enjoys hearing your laugh
when hes done with the tickles, he smooches your lips a few times before pulling you back into a hug
will probably pull you to the couch and just hold you for a little bit too
simply wants to enjoy your presence, but he wont be able to hide the blush from your previous kisses
Hendery
i love this man with my entire being omg
Hendery will stand there as if he is processing what just happened
in reality, hes planning something else
hes really looking around and making sure the area is safe before he tackles you to the ground so that you dont actually get hurt
an affectionate tackle, that leads to an affectionate tickle fight, that leads to you literally crying from laughing so hard
yes he is blushing, but now you look like a tomato after he is done with his tickle fight
“Hendery, i just wanted to kiss you!! why did you tickle me?” “because i’m literally in love with you”
after you catch your breath, still pinned on the ground, he places the softest yet most passionate kiss on your lips
as if you werent already breathless before ….
“you know, you didnt kiss my lips once… you kissed everywhere but my lips actually…”
the playful smirk never leaving his face as he teases you
omg i’m getting carried away…..
Yangyang
omg Yangyang is literally so cute about it
initially he will be a little surprised, but once your kiss attack has ended, its his turn
as soon as you stop smothering him in kisses, he starts smothering you in kisses
genuinely, i could see this continuing for a while too
like just back and forth attacking each other with affection
as it keeps going, he keeps getting closer and closer to your lips, till you two are locked in a passionate kiss
by the end of it, both of you are blushing like crazy, and giggling like you’ve gone mad
hes absolutely pulling you into his lap, and simply staring at you as if there is nothing more beautiful in the world (hes not wrong)
keeps you in his lap the rest of the night
genuinely will pout if you try to leave
like “you just smothered me with affection, and now you have the audacity to sit anywhere but my lap???”
refuses to let you go (unless he absolutely has to)
hes just so happy that you are his and he loves when you show him affection !!
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dawn-in-neocity · 5 months
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best friend (™️) wayv !
that’s just your bf, i’m sorry
kun
husband material wow. is so so sweet and gentle with you i’m jealous. casually does shit straight out of movies. like what do you mean he booked and planned the wholeee day for your birthday. absolutely melts when you show him the same affection. turns tomato red and can’t stop smiling. prefers calling over texting because he “just wants to hear your voice.” gives the warmest hugs.
ten
you’re each other’s person, simply put. your nr 1 hypeman. encourages you to do fun adventurous things when you doubt yourself. y’all are basically the human embodiment of my aesthetic pinterest boards. goes out of his way to impress you because he just thinks you’re the most interesting person in the world. half of your feed consists of pictures taken by him. keeps joking about getting a tattoo related to you.
winwin
the only man ever. subtly shows his love. like fixing your necklace if the clasp is in the front. or holding your hands in his when it’s cold. “i brought you this cupcake, it’s really good.” pays attention to small things. like when you were stressed about how messy your bathroom was so he just casually got you an organizer. gets flustered when you hug him or kiss his cheek. (he loves it though).
xiaojun
you guys are so sweet omg. has a special nickname for you. loves pinching your chin or stroking your cheek :(. has this dopey, dreamy smile on his face whenever he’s watching you be cute. which is always, you’re always cute to him. the first person to notice if you’re upset and will do anything and everything to help. dramatically serenades you with a spoon while you’re cooking together.
hendery
always has an arm slung over your shoulders. loves telling you stupid jokes in your ear when you’re meant to be serious. biter. just gets this impulse to stick his chompers in your shoulder. gets nervous and blanks sometimes bc of how attracted he is to you. sends you shirtless snaps with his cats™️. gets all happy and teases you when your friends refer to him as your boyfriend.
yangyang
you have sooo much fun together omd. no wonder you’re together 24/7. always keeps your go to snacks STOCKED in his place. never lets you pay for anything. thinks you're the funniest person on earth. like he swears spending time with you is an ab workout. he is down horrendous for you and is past the point of caring to hide it. keeps forgetting it's mutual tho so he nearly has a heart attack whenever you compliment him or kiss his cheek.
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sunelia · 9 months
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jjk men as dads (gojo, geto, nanami)
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tiny headcanons on how i see these three as dads :)
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Gojo:
He would be a very passionate father who is constantly eager to get involved in his child's life. He'd be ready to put on the silliest costume with his kid during "after-dinner" shows.
He may not be an excellent chef, but he is always willing to help his kid on birthdays or special events, even if the cake doesn't turn out very well… You'll always find them with flour spread out on the kitchen counter and chocolate stains on their faces which is annoying to clean...but you could forgive absolutely anything given their infectious smiles.
I believe he would like taking many pictures of your child or the three of you, because making memories appears to be extremely important for him.
The two of them would constantly be drained out after doing specific activities together (playground games, diy paper crafts...) and would be resting starfish style in your shared room, which was the cutest sight ever.
He would always pat your child’s hair for fun or cup his face squeezing his cheeks.
He can't stop raising his thumbs up. It's like his own signature or secret code with your kid when he leaves the house, drops him at school or even when he tells him good night.
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Geto:
He has such an outgoing and caring side around his child during unique activities such as huge karaoke sessions in the living room, or rounds of board games on the floor.
He would also be a calm and attentive dad, ready to do anything to make sure his child is happy.
We all know he is 100% a girl dad!
I think he loves flowers and wouldn't hesitate to buy some for his child and bring them alongside snacks after picking him up from school.
He'd keep his kid's homemade bouquet (grass mixed with dandelions picked in the school's playground) as long as he can and would put it in a tiny glass or jar at home.
Gives the most genuine and reassuring hugs!
He's also the one who will most often help with his homework, and you'll always see them on the living room table or in your child's room studying together.
He loves him some self care time and enjoys doing your child's hair, or the other way around.
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Nanami:
He would be the most precious and protective dad ever!
Would also def be a girl dad.
Will always spoil your child with lots of love and gifts and wants to make sure he has everything he needs.
He loves to share his passion for cooking. You'll often find them cooking together, baking cakes and even making pastries.
He's very responsible and will do his best to keep your child safe.
I think he would be the type to volunteer as an accompanying adult on school field trips.
Gives helpful tips and enjoys hearing about his child's day at school or his interests.
He has a fairly unimpressive face most of the time, but when his child is around, he becomes completely soft and flashes the widest, warmest smile!
Enjoys family time in the finest restaurants or by simply watching cartoons on the couch with a comfortable blanket and sweet treats!
He’ll always take the time to read a bedtime story.
That’s my own lil fantasy but i love to picture nanami teaching his kid about constellations and the mysteries of space.
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sunelia
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katsuma6 · 6 months
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Black Clover Headcanons
Captain Yami
- He absolutely loves it when you sit in his lap.
- You fit perfectly to him.
- Sometimes you fall asleep on him and he'll simply carry you to bed, gently not to wake you up.
- After long days, he loves watching you come up and crawl right into his lap.
- He loves wrapping his arms around you.
- Wants to keep you safe at all times.
Fuegoleon
- Melts into a puddle when you play with his hair.
- Loves physical touch and affection, his hair being the number one thing.
- His heart flutters as soon as he feels your delicate fingers run through it.
- Relaxes instantly.
- If he could pur, he would.
Nozel
- Acts of service.
- He adores when you surprise him with breakfast or make him dinner.
- You always make the bed so it's nice and comfy for him to fall asleep easy.
- He acknowledges every single thing you do, big or small, and it only makes him fall harder.
- He appreciates you so much.
- He will ALWAYS return the favor.
Zora
- This man lives by pranking.
- Don't take his jokes to heart.
- Fight back. He loves a witty personality.
- If you prank him or tease him back, he will fall at your feet.
- It makes him happy to have someone he can be himself with.
- Sometimes when you bite back at him, he gets flustered and can't come up with anything to say.
- It drives him crazy but of course, in the best way.
William Vangeance
- This man is clingy.
- It does not matter if he's going to be gone for 5 minutes or 5 days. He will not leave without giving you the warmest hug and biggest kiss.
- Yeah, sure, he's seen you a million times but, he'll still hide his blushing face because he gets bashful around you.
- He will always remind you how beautiful you are, even if it's first thing in the morning.
- He will give his all for you and only you.
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brainrot-of-a-thot · 2 days
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Yo there, is it ok if I request the Windbreaker characters reacting to being hugged for the first time? It could be Bofurin and include other gangs if possible-
Sorry if it is too simple lol
surprise.
or, you surprise them with a sudden bout of affection, featuring: sakura haruka, hajime umemiya, suo hayato, jo togame
a/n: it wasn’t too simple dear! reading it actually gave me a wonderful idea, I hope that this lives up to your tastes love!
c/w: fem!reader, fembodied!reader, fluff, surprise hugs, flustered!boys, soft!boys, language, just pure love <3
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the second he feels yours arms wrap around him, sakura haruka’s entire system short-circuits.
he’d seen it coming; he had seen you surge forward, saw your arms open, saw your hands snake into his furin jacket and slide past his sides — yet he was unable to move, a sudden attack that he was simply unable to dodge. an attack with the softest, warmest impact against his body.
your hair tickled sakura’s chin, just as the sweet artificial aroma of cherry blossoms tickled his nose. your perfume, sakura noted dully. your body linked into his near perfectly, warm and soft, arms wrapped around him with a grip that was neither too loose or too tight. it felt… nice. way nicer than what sakura’d ever thought it would.
but yet he couldn’t move — his arms remained at his sides, as frozen as the rest of his body. of course, you took notice of it, too.
“this usually works better when you hug back, silly.” you giggled into his chest, kickstarting his heart into a whirlwind beat. sakura swallowed thickly and, with movements that were choppy and near-robotic, he circled his arms around your waist awkwardly. he didn’t know how to do this.
“just do what feels natural.” you murmured softly, as if you simply knew he needed to be guided. sakura relaxed his shoulders and allowed himself to sink into your embrace, following the lead of your soft, warm body. his arms tightened subtly around your waist, his chin came to a rest atop your head and —
oh.
oh.
so this is what it felt like; this is what it felt like to hug, wholly and naturally, with the utmost affection. no wonder people loved to do it.
sakura had never felt so at peace in his life — he thinks he could get addicted to this.
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by now, hajime umemiya should be used to your surprise grapples of affection — not necessarily feeling them himself, but seeing them.
you were the affectionate type, perhaps even overly so — you considered all friends, even those at the mere acquaintance level, as close friends. and the one thing you loved to do was hug; anywhere, anyone, any time. you were one of the few other people who spoke the language of physical touch as fluently as umemiya himself.
and umemiya had heard talk, too. everyone says your hugs are the absolute best — that they feel like being wrapped up in the cuddliest, warmest clouds.
but that still didn’t fully prepare him for when he became the center of that embrace.
it had happened so fast and so unexpectedly — one moment he’s introducing you to the multitude of plants he’d been working so hard to cultivate, and in the next he was stumbling back from the sudden impact of something small and warm against his chest. it took him an embarrassing five seconds to realize that you were hugging him.
and, oh, the rumors didn’t do it any justice.
your body, though smaller than his, seemed to anchor him to the ground when those squeezing arms threatened to float him away to heaven. the scent of your perfume tickled inside his nose in a pleasantly faint way, and your body melted into his when he wrapped his arms around your waist to pull you closer.
you held the embrace for what felt like an eternity, but in all actuality, it only lasted no more than six seconds. but they were the best six seconds that umemiya had ever lived through.
and when you finally retreated from his arms and gave him that cute, bubbly smile, you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and said, almost sheepishly, “I always wondered what it would feel like to hug you.”
umemiya was struck silent for a moment, pleased by the knowledge that you had indeed thought about hugging him, wondered about how it would feel even, and with a goofy grin, he jested, “well? was it as good as you imagined?”
at that, you brightened visibly, and your cheeks flushed a pretty shade of pink.
“it was even better!”
and just like that, hajime umemiya fell head over heels for you.
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suo hayato had always been praised for his innate perceptiveness — he was calculating, observant, and overall smart for his age. within moments of scrutinizing a particular situation, suo could accurately sort out the details and form a conclusive theory.
but none of that seemed to matter when it came to you — the only person that suo couldn’t figure out.
maybe he was just accustomed to most people putting up a front; those who were bubbly and kind often had something darker buried within, an objective that they used these particular traits to obtain — friendship, love, acceptance, and other things that could be much more sinister. but that didn’t seem to be the case with you.
you were just like that — naturally and wholly. it was a bit off-putting, initially; something that suo had trouble accepting at first. he was never unkind to you, but rest assured he was studying you at every moment.
it was only when you’d wrapped your arms around him for the first time that suo understood — he didn’t need to study you, because you were an open book.
it happened on an unassuming day, one that wasn’t too hot or cold; a perfect day for patrolling. and that’s what suo, sakura, and nirei were doing when you spotted them and rushed over. affectionate as always, you pulled sakura into a hug (which he became flustered and shy/angry about), then nirei (who was all too happy to return it), before finally landing on suo.
you plunged forward for a hug, one that suo expected to be just like the ones you’d given to sakura and nirei, except —
your wrists locked together at the small of his back, you pressed your body as close to his as you could, and you nuzzled your cute little nose into his collarbone. it was a true embrace, one that spelled out thousands of sentiments.
you appreciated him, you cared for him, you liked him, you thought of him, you missed him, you loved him — it was all expressed clearly through a hug that lasted only seconds, but held a lifetime of affection.
so that’s how you felt about him.
after that, suo never doubted your intentions again; and, more often than not, he sought out as many hugs as he could.
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jo togame didn’t hold strong feelings towards hugs. he viewed them in the same way that he viewed any acts of affection: with aloof detachment. he didn’t hate affection, per se, but he wasn’t overly fond of it either. nor did he see the benefit of seeking it out.
that was until the day he felt your arms wrap around him.
togame hadn’t even seen it coming; you’d rushed up behind him and wrapped your arms around him so fast that he didn’t even have time to react.
your wrists had locked together in front of his belly button, and he flushed all the way down his neck at the feeling of your soft chest pressing into the middle of his back. he could feel you rest your head against his back as well, and heard a soft little sigh fall from your lips.
togame was completely frozen in place, unsure of how to react. his heart was thundering in his chest and there were literal bats rioting inside his stomach — his body felt hot, flushed, and he could only imagine how he looked. how the situation looked.
after what felt like a century (but also too soon) you unwrapped your arms from his body and stepped away. somehow, togame found the gall to actually turn and face you — and when he did, he felt as if his heart had been pierced with a little pink arrow.
your cheeks were completely flushed, your eyes wide and glossy, and the smile on your face could only be described as sheepish. you were flustered, as if the contact with him had affected you as much as it had togame.
“uhm, you, uh — you looked like you could use a hug.” you explained softly, rocking back and forth subtly on your heels. you were the epitome of bashful, and it was just far too cute.
and that’s the only reason togame reached out and gathered you in his arms for another hug; it wasn’t because he desperately wanted to see what if felt like to have your small, soft body cradled into his.
absolutely not.
(that was totally the reason.)
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c0smoshit · 7 months
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Hug headcanons!!
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⋆ ࣪. ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕤 ≫ time, warriors, twilight, wild, sky and sage (totk)
⋆ ࣪. 𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤 ≫ don't read if you hate awful amounts of fluff, not proofread!
⋆ ࣪. 𝔸/ℕ ≫ I'm planning on writing more headcanons about not only linked universe but other fandoms, let me know if you like them :))
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Time
★ Def wouldn't hug u at first ( he is the princess knight after all )
★ But when he warms up to you, be ready to recieve the biggest hugs ever
★ Would hold your nape, pulling you closer to his neck, letting your arms freely wrap around him
★ Idk but he gives off the vibes of pulling off long hugs, just breathing into you and taking all of you in
"We're ba-"
He didn't even finish his sentence as he felt his breath being violently taken away from his lungs. And when he lowered his eyes to see your head crushed into his chest, he let down his guard.
Some stared at you, others whispered under their breaths and the rest just didn't care. And he didn't either, he enjoyed the warmth you seemed to pass to his cold body, pressing your front closer to him as a hidden grin painted itself on his lips.
But he was happy to be back with the rest of the group, and he ceirtanly wasn't the only one.
Warriors
★ This cocky mf acts like he doesn't care if you hug him, but he is dying inside
★ He finally got to feel you closer to him, and he would kill to have you this close once again
★ And that's a win win
★ Expect some unexpected bone-crushing hugs after your first one as he has already taken the clue that you weren't uncomfortable
★ This boy is desesperate
"I'm alright, I'm alright"
He then patted your back, his other arm still grabbing his sword. Although you couldn't see it, he had a huge smirk plastered on his face that soon would be pried off his face.
"Oh? Alright then"
Your teasing tone never failed to leave him blushing under his cocky facade, so when you pried yourself off his chest mimicking his smirk he was so confused.
Your back was soon turned to him and he wished he hadn't opened up his mouth in the first place.
"Wait-"
Twilight
★ He literally can transform himself into a wolf so expect the warmest hugs ever
★ He would always try to be as close as you as possible, always using some excuses as if to lend you his hand whenever you had to climb something, shield ready to protect you from any attack
★ The fur he has on his tunic doubles up cozy points ;)
★ He would definitely be the type to cuddle anywhere right after you gave him a small hug
"You're freezing, y/n"
Your eyes found his own ones, bathed in the comfortable hues of orange that the makeshift fire was able to emit. You tried to nod it off, telling him that you were okay, but he saw the way you were trembling under your clothes.
"Come here"
In just two words he got you entirely over him, the moment he opened up his tunic for you to sit on his lap as he tried to warm both of you up, you were at his complete mercy.
"Much better"
Your muttered out words made his heart ache, seeing your form clinging into him as you hid your face on his neck was definitely something else. His surprisingly hot hands soon travelled to your back drawing soothing circles into your skin.
Wild
★ He goes absolutely mad
★ The moment you wrap your arms around him he is absolutely at your mercy
★ He could spent days with you clinging on him, and he surely would cling onto you all day long
★ He would and will give you surprise hugs, whenever you are doing some tasks outside or just whenever your back is facing him
★ Absolutely adores teasing you ;)
Your loud shriek filled the whole inn you guys stopped by to rest.
The reason?
A sneaky bastard that happened to wrap his arms around your waist and lift you up in the air. Thanks to the corner of your eye, you could see his characteristic blue tunic, so you were a bit less spooked out.
"Link!"
His chuckle mixed with the soft sway of the afternoon leafs were the only thing that filled up your mind now. That and his strong arms placing you back down on the ground, your hands holding them for dear life as you felt his face smashed on your shoulder.
He really acted like an hyperactive puppy
Sky
★ Okay so this man, sleep
★ Loves, loves, loves deep and prolonged hugs. He feels as if you were a blanket surrounding his body.
★ So whenever he had to share a room with you in a inn or something he would "accidentaly" book one with only one bed available
★ wink wink
★ And god, the way he cuddles 10/10, would recommend
His legs were a mess mixed with your own ones, your nose pressed into his collarbone as he snored peacefully into the dawn. His arms secured you by your back with a force you didn't even know where it came from since he was asleep.
You didn't notice the way he had enveloped your body with his own one but you were too tired to care. Happily snuggling into his neck as you enjoyed this restful moment.
Looking up into his face before your weary eyes closed themselves, you saw the most serene expression you had ever seen on anyone before.
The perfect cuddle buddy
Sage
★ I see him as a more chill version of Wild
★ Always ready to recieve and give the greatest hugs you or he could give
★ Would literally think you hate him if one day you forgot to hug him before waving him goodbye
★ Adores being as close to you as possible, listening to your endless anecdotes
"Hey there"
Your soft voice never failed to make him weak on the knees, arms wrapping themselves around your waist as he looked over your shoulder to whatever food you were making.
Silence fell over the room, just both of your mixed breaths and the sonorous sound of your knife chopping some vegetables.
He would often whine when you had to move from your spot, reaching some other utensil. He also weighed heavier as his body would slump into yours, snoozing into nirvana on your shoulder.
He never failed to make you feel so cheerily dumb
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runningupthatvecna · 7 months
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this is for all the touch deprived plus size girlies that are very much (still) in love with eddie munson
18+ minors dni
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In fact, Eddie loves you.
He loves your plush hips. The valleys and hills of you, soft expanses of extensive skin for him (and him only) to touch.
He loves your cheeks. Perfect for nuzzling his nose into until his lips make contact with your jaw, inhaling your very scent until his lungs burn.
He loves the roundness of your boobs, especially when your hardened nipples perk up, begging for his touch. The squish.
He loves the roundness of your belly, how soft it always presents itself beneath his head and tickling curls of his, a perfect pillow whenever you let him rest on you. The way it separates into parts, valleys between them, a welcome dip for his fingers.
He loves your soft hair and those big arms that offer the best, sincerest, warmest, hugs Eddie has ever known. They are his absolute favourite.
He loves your thighs, my god does he love them, when they jiggle with every step you take, wherever you go, a constant reminder how good they feel around his head. How good they feel beneath his eager fingertips when he runs them up and down and up again.
He loves how wet you always get between them, how the juices are already dripping from your outer lips, telling him that if there's a patch on your panties, a dead giveaway of the effect his very actions have on you. Through the thickness, it just spreads so easily. He loves placing both his thumbs on each of your lips, he loves how he has to spread them apart, he even loves that he has to spread them apart for him to be able to even see you. See your love for him dripping out of you, see all of you, spread open and vulnerable for him. It makes his heart nearly combust in his ribcage.
And god, does he love devouring you whole, slurping it all into his mouth, sucking and licking and sucking some more, knowing how to drive you mad, your soft whimpers and pretty noises meant for his ears only. He loves the way he can bury the entire lower half of his face in your heat, all while your moans and sweet little whimpers are the only thing he wants to hear. Along with the squelch of his fingers of course, knuckles deep inside your cunt.
What he loves most though is when you stare back into his own darkened eyes half-lidded when he stretches you open, the way your sopping heat embraces his cock so easily, how warm you feel, how tight you are, how you're so goddamn fucking needy for him. The noises you make and the way tears form in your eyes because his dick is so bomb and no one has ever been willingly touching you this way.
He loves how incredibly needed you make him feel, how adamantly you're prioritizing him over other people in your life. No one's ever done that for him. Not in this way. Never.
It's a welcome symbiosis.
Eddie loves caressing every inch of you, making so damn sure you know, are aware of, and feel the way you're making him feel. Working so damn hard you'll eventually see just how fucking hot you are to him. He wants to make you forget about all the days and weeks and months and years of being on your own. Make you forget about the shitty things you've been told about yourself. Even if it means he has to pound you silly every night and every morning after and every minute inbetween. Even if it means he has to write you love notes and letters every goddamn day. Cause he would do that. For you.
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juneberrie · 8 months
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okok in regard to this post, just thinking abt opposite aesthetics w thalia/clarisse. hear me out..
like either one of them is just standing there, arms crossed, super stoic & almost a little scary and then u just pop up there super sunshiney & sweet and stuff :((
and everyones else is just like '???'
no cause absolutely it's so funny to me ???
like i can picture clarisse being all mean and bitchy to people, snapping at them and shit and all of a sudden u show up and she's like "oh hey babe!!! how was ur day!!" and she just wraps you in the biggest warmest hug ever because gods know her arms are beefy asf and shes just looking down as u ramble about idk a butterfly you saw with a cutie patootie smile and shes all "uh huh? really? yeah?" and everyone is super confused because two seconds ago she was threatening to smash a toilet tank lid over some poor kid's head and now ??? shes SMILING ??? huh ???
thalia is just glaring at people bc she has an rbf and everyones like "aw man we can't mess with her... shes mad..." and then u show up and she immediately gets all smiley and lovey <3 "oh my gods hi sunshine!!" and she lets u sit on her lap as u tell her about something random and she's like doodling on ur arms/hands and being so attentive and she randomly stops and goes "you're really pretty, you know that right" :((
anyways scary guard dog gf and ray of sunshine gf is my favorite trope EVERRRR
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headkiss · 1 year
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do you think i have forgotten?
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pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader
summary: you loved steve harrington years ago, and he loved you. now, coming back to hawkins, you find that things may not be so different.
word count: 14.1k
warnings: fluff, smut, a little angst, exes to lovers, very much idiots in love!
a/n: here it is!!! i hope u guys like it!!! it took a while but hopefully it was worth it <3
A ‘welcome home’ banner hangs lopsided on the wall.
The party is smaller than the ones you’d become accustomed to at school. That didn’t matter. What did was that your favorite people were around for this one.
It was meant to be a surprise, but Nancy gave you a heads up. She knows you hate surprises, you just don’t have the heart to tell Robin, who absolutely loves surprise parties. Planning them, to be exact. So, you acted shocked, put on your biggest smile.
It was worth it for the beaming grin on your friend’s face, the tight hug as a hello.
You didn’t realize how much you missed home until now. Until you came back.
Small talk isn’t so tiring when it’s with people you really care about. Eddie and Jonathan, Nancy and Robin, even the kids are there to give you the warmest welcome you could ever have. Hugs from some of them, teasing from all of them.
It’s perfect, but there’s an obvious absence. One you’ve tried and tried not to think about. But here, in this room, with these people, you can tell that without him, there’s a space waiting to be filled.
That space has been left open in your life for years. A gaping hole. Then, when the night’s half over and you’re convinced you won’t see him, you hear one word that has memories rushing back to you. Like a flood.
“Ace.”
There’s only one person in the entire world who calls you that. Steve Harrington.
The nickname isn’t the only thing that gives him away. His voice is engraved in your head, the tone, the way it hits your ears. It’s been years since you last heard it, and still, it feels so, so familiar.
You met in high school. Gym class, actually, and you’d been deemed Ace ever since. By him.
It started with friendship, reluctant at first and then impossibly close. It grew into the kind of undeniable thing that pushed you together. Boyfriend and girlfriend. In love.
He was really, really good to you. So good that you didn’t care about who his friends were or what his reputation was. You didn’t care when things changed and he went from King Steve to the best babysitter around. Over a year, you were together.
Then, he was gone.
When you told him you’d be going away for school, he was supportive, happy for you, even. Then, the day before you were set to move he sat you down and broke your heart. I can't be with you anymore, he said.
Not I don’t want to, or I won’t. Can’t. Like he had no other choice.
To this day, you’re not sure why he did it. You called over and over for weeks when you first got to school. He never picked up. You were only able to check on him through your mutual friends. Robin, Nancy, Eddie, all of them.
One day, he was the greatest thing in your life, the next, he’d completely disappeared from it. Like a ghost.
You pushed yourself through school, tried to let go of him. It got easier, but the pinch in your chest when you thought about him never quite went away. You tried being with other guys again, but nothing stuck. It felt like you were cheating, like you could never fully commit to someone else. Your mind, body, and soul still belonged to him.
It got easier eventually. You can’t remember when it did, but over time, thinking of Steve became less like a stab to the chest, and more of a pinch.
When you spoke to your friends, they’d mention him briefly. In passing, like they didn’t want to hurt you with something as simple as a name. You knew he was working at Family Video with Robin, you knew his parents were around even less than they used to be, and you knew he went on dates. Often.
Steve spent every year of you being away trying to convince himself that he did the right thing.
He missed you constantly, but he felt like he’d be holding you back if he stayed with you. A distraction from your college experience, a boyfriend who couldn’t even make it to college himself. Not enough for you.
Now, seeing you at the welcome home party Robin put together, he feels like the biggest idiot in the world. Universe, even. Because how could he have let go of someone that lights up the room like a ray of fucking sunshine.
It’s pathetic that all he could say to you after all the years was his nickname for you.
You turn around after hearing it, the sight of Steve a punch in the gut. He’s just as pretty, if not more, and though he mostly looks the same, he’s grown in ways you weren’t there to see. He’s almost a stranger now.
“Steve,” you manage. “You’re here.”
“Hi.”
It took a lot of convincing from the gang for him to come. Not because he didn’t want to (he wanted to see you more than anything), but because he didn’t want to do anything to make you upset.
Your haircut is different than before, and you hold yourself in a new way, too. But, as soon as he finds your eyes he feels like he’s in high school again, laying in his bed facing you or laughing at the back of the movie theater.
He thinks of the last time he saw you, the tears leaving trails down your cheeks, the way you didn’t let yourself sob until he walked out. His stomach is in knots.
“Hi,” you hold yourself back from reaching out and poking him to make sure he’s real. “I didn’t think you were coming.”
“Well, surprise,” he sings the second word and throws up some awkward jazz hands. A glimpse of the dork you remember.
Surprise indeed.
“I can leave,” he offers in your silence. He even turns to do so before you stop him.
“No! No, it’s just- it’s been a while.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
You shake your head. It’s too late for that, and as much as you want to know what happened, why he ended things and just… vanished, you aren’t so stuck on that anymore. Four years is a long time.
You aren’t mad about it, it just never fully left your head.
“How was school?” He asks. Safe, easy.
“Well, I graduated. So, that’s something.”
A wink of a smile has the corners of his mouth twitching up. You’re different, but you’re also the same girl he knew. It’s nice to see again, to have hope that he didn’t destroy you.
“I knew you would,” he scratches the back of his neck. He’s not used to feeling so awkward around you. “You can write your own essays, after all.”
That one makes you huff a laugh, makes you think back to late nights spent helping him fix up his writing. Red pen doodles and way too many distractions.
“One of my many talents,” you say.
There’s another pause, a stillness that feels so wrong for the both of you. He put the distance there, and he hates himself for it. “I’ll be seeing you around then?”
“Yeah, Steve. I’m home.”
Yes, he thinks. You are home. Hawkins was missing something without you in it. Or maybe that was just him. Missing something without you.
Just as you’re pulled away into a conversation with Robin and Max, Steve grasps your wrist gently. Your skin burns with the familiarity of his touch. Aches with the memory.
“It’s good to see you, Ace.”
Then, in a blink, he lets you go.
When you turn away, Eddie comes up beside Steve, claps a hand on his back. “Nice, man. Not weird at all.”
“Shut it, Munson.”
Steve has a hard time keeping his eyes off of you. He searches for you when he hears you laugh, can feel his pulse jump when you throw your head back the way you always have. He lets his eyes linger when he knows he shouldn’t.
You catch him once. You can feel his stare on you like a breeze, tickling the back of your neck. When you turn towards him your eyes lock, just for a moment.
-
Hawkins is mostly the same. The stores on Main Street still have worn awnings, letters faded and colors dimmed. The arcade sign still flickers, Enzo’s is still the best restaurant. The movies where Steve used to take you on dates, his house with his BMW in the driveway.
It’s hard to be back and not let Steve bleed into everything.
At school, it was easy not to think about him. You’d bury yourself in studying and projects. Here, he’s everywhere you look. The town is painted with memories of you and him. He’s written all over the place.
You thought you were over what happened, that you could come home and not let it phase you. You had no idea it’d be like this.
Despite it all, you’re glad to be home. You like waking up to the peacefulness of light wind and leaves rustling. It’s a lot nicer than a dorm building full of students and the constant noise of the city.
You’re tremendously happy to be so close to your friends again, too. There’s no more worrying about whether or not you’ll see them anytime soon, no more sporadic phone calls that just make you miss them more.
But still, there’s that empty space. Steve-shaped.
The next time you see him you’d decided to visit Robin at work. It took you about a week of being home to get yourself to go into Family Video, knowing Steve works there. You have to get used to him again.
Sure enough, when you walked in, there he stood. Green vest and all.
When the bell above the door jingles to signal your entrance, Steve turns to look at you. He sets down the box of stock he’d been holding, and your eyes follow the way his arms flex before you can tell them not to.
“Ace, hi.”
“Hey,” you send a short wave his way, rocking on your feet. “I’m just meeting Robin for lunch.”
He probably knows that, but you say it anyway, trying to fill the void of silence that hums between you.
“Yeah. She’s in the back already,” he says. “I can show you.”
“Sure, thanks.”
He almost places a hand at the small of your back to guide you, just like he used to. It’d be so natural, so simple. Instead, he clenches his fist by his side and shuffles in front of you, nodding his head for you to
follow.
“So, um,” he stops in front of the door to the back, turning to face you. “We still do movie nights. All of
us, like we used to. You should come.”
“Are you sure?”
Movie nights are always at Steve’s, and you don’t want to be there if it’ll cause any problems, as much as you’ve missed the sense of tradition. Routine.
“There’s an open spot on the couch for you anyway. Always has been.”
When you were away, you worried your friends would replace you. Forget about you, even. That clearly wasn’t the case.
“I’d love to go. If you’re sure it’s okay.”
“As long as you still don’t mind Eddie talking through the important parts.”
You shake your head, a small, close-mouthed smile on your face.
“Wouldn’t be a movie night without it.”
The bell above the door rings again, and Steve turns to see the customer. “I should get back.”
You nod. You watch him go, watch him greet the woman who walked in with his classic smile.
You just have to get used to him again, that’s all.
-
Walking the steps up to the Harrington’s front door is something you’ve done time and time again. So, it shouldn’t feel so odd, really.
It used to be an almost daily occurrence. Now, it takes you some mental preparation before you can bring yourself to knock on the door. This time, it isn’t Steve who answers, it’s Robin. You’re grateful for it, because stepping into his house again is already a bunch to take in.
“You came!” She says, grinning.
“Of course I did. I missed movie nights a bunch.”
You really, really did.
While you had a couple of friends in Indianapolis, the connections were shallow. Especially compared to what you have here. There, they were friendships formed from convenience. Roommates or project partners. It was a lot lonelier than you let on.
“We missed you, too.” Robin walks you into the living room, where cheers of your name ensue.
“Look who it is,” Eddie speaks from where he sits on the ground in front of the TV, setting things up.
There’s a shift from the loud, giddy greetings when Steve walks into the room, bowl of popcorn in hand. It’s like everyone’s waiting for one of you to burst.
“Hey. You made it,” Steve says. No bursting, just some sort of tension that hasn’t gone away since you saw him at your party.
“Yeah. Thanks again for inviting me.”
“Surprised one of them didn’t beat me to it,” he nods at your friends that are scattered across the couches. Your friends whose eyes are ping-ponging between you both.
It’s almost like you can feel everyone take a breath of relief when you plant yourself by the armrest of the sofa. When you shoot Steve a small, barely-there smile. A peace offering.
Halfway through the movie—broken up by constant Eddie commentary, and various ways of someone telling him to stuff it—Steve notices the way you’re curled up, cardigan pulled tight over your body.
He reaches across Robin to hand you a blanket wordlessly. She nudges his shoulder when you aren’t looking, gives him a look that tells him she knows something, even if he doesn’t.
He’s always been attentive, but you’re surprised when the soft fabric is passed over. You wonder if he realizes it’s the blanket you’d always reach for when you were over. If he realizes he handed you the one you’d cuddled him under countless times.
He doesn’t, you’re sure. Why on earth would he remember those things? Or even care?
After that night, the group slowly becomes whole again. The others stop planning separate things with you or Steve. It’s like they waited for you to get acclimated to being around each other again, tested the waters.
It’s as sweet as it is sad. You never wanted to mess anything up, make anything harder.
Though you see Steve a lot more often, your interactions with him remain short and distant. You don’t think you’ll ever get used to feeling so far away from him.
While you were away, over time, the memories became less vivid, as did the pictures that still sit in your bedroom at home. Sun damaged and faded. Your feelings, though, they never really dimmed, only pushed to the back of your mind and shoved into a box labeled Steve.
That box has been bursting at the seams.
Still, you try to keep it shut, to push it all aside and be friends with him again. Or, friendly, at the very least.
Steve keeps a framed picture of you in a drawer in his bedside table. Maybe that’s weird. It used to sit atop of the table, but he moved it when it got too hard to look at your face without thinking of how it looked when you cried.
Having you around again is hard, but it’s more so a relief. He’s missed you so, so much, and even though things aren’t the same and they might never be again, he’ll take you in his life any way he can have you. And this is a start.
The hardest part, he thinks, is burying all the things he never got to say. I’m sorry, I just wanted what was best for you, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. It’s no use now, he knows that, so he swallows the words down. They make his stomach ache.
He needs to distract himself from it all, because it’s too much. Seeing your face almost every day again, not being able to reach out and hold it like he used to.
It’s way too much.
-
You got a job at Enzo’s to keep yourself busy.
While you’d love to stay buried in your bed all day, or walk around aimlessly until you end up at Lover’s Lake, sitting by the water and listening to it move, your parents decided it’d be better for you to do something valuable with your time.
Besides, waitressing isn’t so bad. You mostly work nights, allowing you the sleep-ins you love so much, there’s not so much pressure when you already know most of the people you serve, and the tips are always nice.
It’s mostly a breeze—besides a spill incident—until Steve shows up there on a date. Seated in your section.
Your coworker had warned you, “new table for you. Looks like a date.” And there he was. His hair done like always (does he still use Farrah Fawcett spray?) and his dress shirt a little wrinkled.
When it’s time to head over, you shut your eyes and take a grounding breath, slap on your customer service smile. You introduce yourself like you always do, the ‘I’ll be your waitress for this evening’ spiel.
Steve looks up from the menu as soon as he hears your voice. He’s stunned, eyes wide and mouth ever-so-slightly agape while he looks at you. He tries to recover quickly. If he’d known you were working tonight he never would have brought his date here, never would have subjected you to that on purpose. He feels like shit.
“Can I get you guys anything to drink?” You say. Waitress persona engaged, praying your face doesn’t look forced.
She orders first. Her voice is sweet, and she’s pretty. Why'd she have to be so pretty?
“Just water for me. Thanks, Ace,” Steve says, letting the nickname slip. It’s like he can’t hold it in around you.
“‘Course.” You turn quickly to get their drinks.
“Ace?” Steve’s date, Becky, asks.
“We’re friends. From school. Just a nickname.”
He simplifies it. There’s no point in telling the whole story. It’s over—he’s had to remind himself of that constantly—and it’s his fault. Not the type of thing he needs to share on a first date, that’s for sure.
“Oh, okay. So, what are you getting?” Somehow, she accepts the answer easily.
You shouldn’t feel so shaken by this. Really, you shouldn’t. You were with Steve ages ago, and it’s been over. You don’t have any sort of claim over him anymore. None.
So why is your stomach twisting every time you catch him smiling at something she says?
All you know is that it won’t do you any good to think about that too much. You busy yourself with getting their drinks instead. You approach the table carefully, not wanting to spill anything.
“For you,” you set her drink down. She thanks you. She’s nice, too. “And, water for you.”
“Thank you.”
“You guys ready to order, or do you need a couple more minutes?”
It’s like you’re on autopilot, repeating the same phrases you do to every single table, hoping that it comes out sounding natural.
“I think we’re good,” Steve says, gesturing for his date to go first.
He almost feels like he should apologize to you. Then again, maybe he’s reading into things too far. As much as he feels like he can tell when you’re uncomfortable, when your smile is forced, he has no idea if your habits are the same as they used to be.
You’re cautious not to let your hands touch when you collect the menu from Steve.
The rest of their dinner is much the same, and you’re grateful any time you can distract yourself with a different table. Your actions are stiff, your words practically robotic.
Still, before he leaves, Steve leaves you a tip and a scrawled note on a crumpled receipt: ‘Thank you. Sorry for the ambush. -Steve.’
You still have notes from him, in that same, charmingly messy handwriting, buried in a shoebox in your closet. Notes you didn’t have time to get rid of in your rush to move. Notes you should probably get rid of.
Not only did he leave you a note, he was outside waiting for you when your shift was over.
He wasn’t going to wait. He was going to leave it at the note and hope that you weren’t bothered as much as he thought you might be. Maybe it was stupid to think you’d be affected by him being with someone else in front of you after all this time, but he couldn’t ignore the instinct he got when he saw the look on your face. The guilt he felt.
He catches you as you walk out the door, startling you a bit, “Ace, wait up.”
“God, you scared me. What are you doing here?”
“Sorry,” he says, falling into step beside you as you walk to your car. He’d parked two spots over. “Actually, I just wanted to say that. Sorry, I mean.”
“You already said that,” he tilts his head, a question. “On your note.”
“I didn’t want you to think I did that on purpose. I didn’t know you worked at Enzo’s until tonight, actually.”
“I haven’t been for long,” you amend. “I’m not upset with you, Steve.”
The words hold a lot more meaning than you expected. You really aren’t upset with him, not over tonight, and not over what happened years ago. You’re more upset with yourself for letting it get to you even now.
“Good. That’s- I never wanted to hurt you.”
His words are heavy, too. You’re too tired to hold the weight.
“What about your date?” You stop next to your car. He stops, too.
“I drove her home already. Came back after.”
Really, he was halfway home after dropping off Becky, but he couldn’t shake his worry that he’d caused even more strain on your relationship. He turned around without a second thought.
“She seems nice,” you say.
“Yeah,” he looks around the parking lot, stares at the streetlight for a second. “So, we’re okay?”
“We’re okay,” you confirm.
You can’t help but hope that saying it out loud will make things feel better with him. That maybe, you could be some sort of friends again.
He nods, “okay. Sorry again,” he searches for his keys in his pocket, “have a good night, Ace.”
He walks the short distance to his car while you fumble to unlock yours. Climbing in and shutting the door, you let your head fall against the steering wheel, forehead pressed to it.
What a night.
-
Steve’s seen Becky a few times since the date at Enzo’s.
She is nice, and he does like her, but he hasn’t been able to let her kiss him anywhere other than the cheek. So far, she hasn’t said anything, but he knows that he won’t be able to dodge her without question for much longer.
When you were gone, though it took time, he was able to be with other people. It never lasted long, and he rarely went through with things without thinking of you at least once. He can’t even give someone a peck on the mouth.
It’s like as soon as he thinks he can lean in and do it, his mind is all Ace Ace Ace, and he finds he can’t.
He’s trying his best to ignore it, to hope that in getting used to you being back, he’ll get used to not being with you, too. So far, it hasn’t been working very well. He dreams more often than not, and even in sleep, he can’t seem to escape your face.
Instead of digging into whatever mess he’s sure that’ll cause, he’s been seeing Becky.
It’s unfair, he knows it is. To her and to you, but he doesn’t know what else to do. He isn’t thinking straight because you’ve rushed back into his life so quickly he can’t catch up. He’s trying to bury the feelings he has for you by focusing on someone else.
Though, maybe focusing isn’t the right word, because his mind still wanders to you. A bunch.
He’s confused and he’s scared and he misses you. He doesn’t know what to make of everything that’s pushing to the surface once again now that you’re home, and he doesn’t want to because he’s afraid of what it’s sure to become. What might’ve never even left.
He misses you but he can’t do anything about that. So, Becky it is.
-
The breeze tickles your cheeks as you make your way through the trailer park in search of any of your friends.
Somehow, Eddie and his band managed to make their own gig out by the picnic tables, and, of course, he’d invited the group to come watch. When you first became friends with Eddie, he was reluctant to let you all in on his music. Now, though, he lets everyone know there’s a spot for them saved at every performance.
You follow the noise, finding where a small crowd of people has formed by the tables that have been pushed together to serve as a stage. Probably an unsafe one, at that, but it’s Eddie. He cheers when he spots you from where he stands on the middle table.
“She’s here!”
“Can't miss the first show I’m back for, can I?”
“The rockstar would not have that,” Robin says, giving you a quick side hug.
“Thank you for calling me a rockstar,” Eddie replies.
You say your hellos to the others, Nancy, sitting on the bench attached to the table Eddie’s stood on, Jonathan, fiddling with his camera.
“Is Steve not coming?” You ask. Hopefully in a casual way.
“No, he is,” Nancy says.
“Likes to be fashionably late,” is what Robin has to say.
You nod, turning your attention to Eddie, “so, how many of these songs are new?”
“To these fools, none,” he points lazily around the group. “To you, all of them.” He smiles, and it makes you smile, too. You’ve missed being able to support him in person.
“Can’t wait to hear them, then.”
“Dingus!” Robin yells happily.
You know she’s talking about Steve. You turn around to find him. Probably too quickly.
“Hey guys,” he waves. It’s then you notice that he’s not alone. His date that he took to Enzo’s is with him. She waves, too, her arm curled around Steve’s. “This is Becky.”
She’s met with polite greetings. Your mouth, for some reason, stays shut.
Robin comes to stand beside you. She looks at your expression, the shock that you shake your head to clear, the tiniest bit of hurt that lingers in your eyes. You look at her, and she raises her eyebrows at you, are you okay? It’s silent, but you know it’s what she’s asking.
Isn’t that a question. You don’t know why your stomach sinks when you see her with him. Again. Well, maybe you do know, you just don’t want to accept it. The feelings you’d had for Steve were meant to be long, long gone.
Only, since being home, you’ve realized they aren’t.
Even though things with Steve have been far from the same as before, even as when you were friends, he’s still Steve. He’s the kind boy you knew, only older. He still cares about the kids the way an older sibling would, he still puts his friends before anything, and he’s still the greatest person you know.
You simply shrug at Robin.
Then, Becky’s in front of you, “we already met, right?”
“Yeah, um, hi.”
“Hi. It’s nice to at least have a familiar face here.”
God, you want to dislike her so bad, but you really can’t. She’s kind, and she’s clearly making an effort to make a good impression. It’s annoying.
Steve knows he probably shouldn’t have brought her with him, but she’s been asking to meet his friends so frequently and he figured that Eddie’s gig would be as good a time as ever. At least here, there’s a crowd to hide in.
He really does like Becky, just not in the way he’s supposed to. He thinks he might’ve spent all of those feelings on you, and there’s no way he’s getting them back.
Eddie jumps down from the table and pulls Steve aside, “what are you doing?”
“Dunno what you mean.” He does, actually. Only, he doesn’t know what he’s doing.
“Come on, man. You can't tell me you don’t see the way she looks at you,” Eddie’s not talking about Becky. He’s talking about you.
“She doesn’t look at me. Not like that.”
“Sometimes you really are an idiot, you know? She looks at you like you put the fucking moon in the sky, all melty and shit.”
“She used to look at me like that. I fucked it up. That’s gone, okay?”
“Is it gone for you?” Eddie says.
“Doesn’t matter,” Steve says. When he looks at you, however, it feels like it matters. A lot.
“Just saying. Think you might��ve brought the wrong lady.”
Steve already feels bad about what he’s trying to do with Becky. Seeing her to distract himself from you. He hates that even his friends are seeing through it. Is it really that obvious?
Eddie turns away to finish setting up with the band. Steve sees Becky talking to you of all people and he almost smacks himself right there. He’s so, so stupid. He walks over, into the mess he’s created.
“Hey, Ace,” he nods at you quickly, then turns to Becky. “Why don’t we go find a spot to sit?”
“We aren’t watching here?”
Steve looks between you and her quickly. Really, he’s just trying to save you from having to talk to her. He can still tell when you’re itching to get out of a conversation.
“Think the speakers might be too loud for you, babe.”
You miss whatever reply she gives him, stuck on his use of the word babe. The last time you heard it come from his mouth, he was saying it to you. It stings even though it shouldn’t.
It’s over. It’s been over. So why is it so hard to forget about it?
-
You never really got used to seeing Steve with Becky.
He didn’t bring her around often—maybe for your sake—but when he did, you’d find yourself keeping your distance. At least one person between you and them, like a buffer.
It felt like the progress you’d made with Steve, with not feeling so far away around him, was disappearing every time you saw her standing with him. You hated it, how you let things affect you.
A couple of weeks went on that way. Then, you got a phone call.
You’d been sitting on your bed, back against the headboard, doing absolutely nothing. The shrill ringing came from your bedside table, and you leaned over to pick it up mindlessly.
“Hello?”
“Ace.”
It’s Steve. He hasn’t called you since you’ve been back. His utterance of your nickname sounds like a breath of relief.
“Steve? What’s going on?”
“Can I come see you?”
“What?” You’re convinced you misheard him, or that something’s wrong. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, promise,” he pauses. “Well, I broke up with Becky. But I’m good, okay?”
He broke up with Becky? He broke up with Becky and decided to call you. You’re not quite sure what to do with that.
“You- did something happen?”
“No, no. Just- I’ll explain everything. Let me see you.”
It's hard to say no to him, and you can’t help but be worried. You say yes, a quiet word whispered into the phone.
“Thank you,” he says. “See you soon, Ace.”
“Bye.”
You barely get the word out before the sound of his phone being hung up echoes in your ear. It’s only then, in the silence of your room, that you notice your heart pounding, a heavy thump in your chest.
Steve knows it’s selfish to want to see you now, after he’s just broken up with someone. It’s the first actual breakup he’s had since being with you, and yet, he’s not even upset. He just wants to see you.
Sure, he liked Becky, but she could never really erase his thoughts of you. He felt awful about staying with her for the reasons he did. So, he broke it off.
Now, he's knocking on your window.
The tapping wouldn’t be so noticeable if you hadn’t been waiting for it. He never did like using the front door.
You open the window for him, move backwards a couple of steps to give him enough room to stumble inside, hair a little messy, chest rising and falling with heavy breaths, devastatingly pretty.
It brings you back to high school. Steve, sneaking through your window at night just to fall asleep with you, his arms a safety net, his steady breathing a lullaby. Steve, peering at you through the glass with that grin of his. Steve.
“You know you can use the door, right?” You say.
“Not my style,” he takes a second to look at you. “Hi, Ace.”
You shift on your feet.
“Hi.”
“I know this is…” He trails off. There’s not really a single word for it. “Thanks for letting me come.”
“I’ll always be here for you.”
You mean it. Even after everything, he’s Steve over it all. Your Steve, who was the greatest friend you ever had and, somehow, an even better boyfriend. He’s never been horrible to you; not even close.
Sure, he broke your heart and fell away from your life right after that, but you know him. You know there’s something he hasn’t told you about that, and if letting him in through your window again is a step closer to hearing it, you’re willing to take it.
“Even after what I did?”
“I don’t think you could ever really lose me, Steve.”
That hits him in the gut, a painful twist. Because he thought he did. Yes, he broke up with you (he regretted it very quickly), but he’d fought the urge to pick up the phone and call you at school more times than he can count.
“You’re a good person, Ace.”
He’s tiptoeing around whatever he wants to say to you. You talk softly, “why’d you want to see me?”
“I just needed to make sure you knew something.”
“What is it?”
“Just- I never kissed Becky. I haven’t kissed anybody since we, um, broke up.”
It’s the first time either of you have said it so plainly. There’s a wince on his face when he does. Small, but you catch it all the same.
“Robin said you were dating people, though.”
“Yeah, but I never kissed them. Ever. I couldn't.”
He slept with people—which was still hard—but to him, nothing feels as intimate as a kiss. He could never bring himself to cross that line with someone else. Not after how you would kiss him. The way everything else would melt away.
“I need you to know that. And I broke up with Becky because I couldn’t be with her without thinking of-” he stops, shakes his head, like he can’t get the words out. His eyes are holding onto yours when he says, “-someone else.”
“You climbed through my window just to tell me that?”
“I guess I did.”
He hadn’t thought about what comes next, what to do or say. Hell, he could barely even say what he meant in the first place. He wanted to say he’d been thinking of you, but the word got stuck in his throat. He hopes you can still read him enough to know what he meant.
“So, you were with Becky… why, exactly?”
“I thought- I don’t know. I thought I’d be able to push, um, someone else out of my mind if I was with her. I wasn’t, obviously.”
You’re practically speechless. Never would you have imagined that Steve was still thinking of you in any way, let alone so much so that he couldn’t fully give himself to anyone else.
Then again, you were never able to do that, either.
“I don’t know what to say,” you shrug, shoulder to your cheek.
“You don’t have to say anything, really,” he says, though there’s a sadness in his eyes that makes your heart squeeze painfully in your chest. You hate to be the one putting it there. “I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize to me, Steve. We aren’t together, I know that.”
He hasn’t been able to forget about that for a day. It’s like his life without you in it was a permanent winter. The snow never melting, the cold sinking into his bones. He hadn’t even realized it until you came back.
The wind picked up, frostbite ate away at him. Then, just like that, the sun was shining again. He hopes the snow will thaw soon.
He feels like an idiot right now. An idiot who can't spit out the right words and who can't leave you alone even when he knows he should.
“I should go.”
“Steve-”
“No, I’ll go. I’m sorry for dropping all of that on you.”
He’s turning his back to you, opening the window, worrying you all over again.
“You can stay.” Please, stay.
“I’m really sorry, Ace.”
Sorry for letting you go, sorry for disappearing, sorry for being a coward, sorry for fucking things up even now.
By the time you gather your wits enough to walk to the window, he’s crossing your lawn quickly. You watch him go until his figure fades into the night, the wind a low whisper in the air.
-
You do a lot of thinking that night, replaying the conversation over and over in your head. After what might be twenty minutes or two hours, you find you aren’t upset with Steve in the slightest. If anything, you’re worried.
And maybe, selfishly, a little hopeful, too.
It’s not even the breakup itself. It’s the way he spoke, the way his eyes lingered and his frustration seemed to soften just a little when he looked at you. It’s the way he had to make sure you knew he hasn’t kissed anyone since you, that he called and came over just to tell you that.
Maybe you should be angry, but all you feel when you think about Steve is something you’d convinced yourself was long gone. A feeling with wings, fluttering.
You decide that you need to talk to him again.
That decision has you walking through the door of Family Video early the next day, when you’re sure it won’t be busy. You had to double check with Robin that Steve was the one opening (you could practically see her knowing smirk through the phone), and sure enough, he stands behind the counter.
The bell above the door jingles, cutting through the silence of the store. Steve glances up to find you, rubbing his tired eyes to make sure you’re really there.
“Am I dreaming?” He says.
Steve was convinced you’d never want to see his face again after the shit he pulled last night. After dumping information on you that you hadn’t asked for, then leaving as soon as he got scared.
“If you are, so am I.”
“Robin’s not here.”
“I know. I wanted to talk to you, if that’s okay?”
“I didn’t think you’d want to after…” he trails off, like he’s embarrassed to have to bring it up.
“I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
“I feel like I should be asking you.”
“Steve.”
His name still sounds the best in your voice, he thinks.
“I’m okay, promise. Last night, I guess I just- I missed you.”
“I missed you, too. While I was gone.” Every single day since I left, I missed you.
You’ve both felt it for a long time, but now’s the first time someone’s been brave enough to say it. The words settle in the air for a moment, hanging between you.
“I’m sorry, Ace. For everything.”
You want to fall into his arms as easily as you used to, to squeeze him and tell him it’s okay, it can be okay, if you try hard enough. The counter standing between you stops you from it, maybe for the better.
“Do you think- do you think maybe we can be friends again?”
I don’t know if I can just be your friend, he thinks. Not after knowing what it’s like to kiss you and wake up beside you, to touch you and love you. If it’s the only way to keep you around, though, he’ll give it all he has.
“I’d like that.”
Your smile is almost shy, but it’s there.
“We used to be better at this. Talking, I mean,” you say, trying to be light.
“We’ll get better again.”
It’s quiet again, save for the murmur of whatever movie Steve chose for the morning playing on the TV.
“I hope you know I haven’t been, like, holding a grudge, or anything. I forgave you a long time ago.”
You had to, even when it still hurt, even when you still wonder why things changed so quickly. He’s a human as much as you are, and letting things fester for years wouldn't do either of you any good.
Still, like any wound, it still bleeds from time to time.
“Doesn’t change that I’m sorry, Ace.”
You shy away from the sincerity in his stare, from the brown in his eyes that could so easily draw you back into him completely.
He bends to catch your eye, though, making sure you know he means it.
-
Letting yourself get close to Steve again is easy, it’s the friendship that’s hard.
He’s a good friend, you see it in his interactions with everyone around you. He’s a good friend and still, you can’t stop thinking about the kind of boyfriend he is. Caring and loving, full of touches to give, a hand on you whenever it could be. You miss the warmth of that hand.
You keep that to yourself , though, because things are better. So much better.
You and Steve don’t avoid each other anymore, the smiles aren’t so forced or small, the words not so careful. The only subject you stay away from is the breakup, and even then, you don’t think about it so much now that he’s around again. You think about everything before that. The good and the in love, sticky and sweet.
Tonight, he’s convinced you to come along and chauffeur the kids to the arcade. In turn, you’ve convinced him to go inside with you.
The various neon lights bathe your skin, blues and oranges, pinks and greens. You can't help but think they glow a little nicer on Steve’s face.
“What’s the first game gonna be?” You turn to look at him over your shoulder as you walk between the rows of games.
“Your choice, Ace. This was your idea.”
“Fine by me,” you shrug a shoulder, grinning.
Falling into conversation with Steve proves to still feel natural. You’ve gotten the chance to spend time with him more since you talked that morning at Family Video, and it’s paid off. Light teasing and check-ins are what they used to be before.
The part that still makes your heart beat faster, almost like it’s trying to find his, is what hangs in the silence. There's knowledge there; the silence used to be comfortable, and now, it’s full of questions and tension. What’s too much? What crosses the line of friendship you’ve had to draw?
If you’re being honest, being Steve’s friend almost makes you miss him more. You had to do it this way, though, if only to protect yourself from losing him ever again.
You’ve been pushing away any thoughts of Steve as a boyfriend as far away as you can.
“Okay,” you stop in front of Pac-Man.
“A classic,” he nods, putting change into the slot. “Ladies first.”
“Scared, Harrington?”
“Of you?” He shakes his head. “Never.”
Of what he feels for you, maybe.
You play well, and Steve watches your hands move as you do. He watches your eyes as they flit about the screen, your tongue poking between your lips in concentration. Watches, still, when you throw your head back and groan when you lose.
“My turn,” he says, bumping you over with his hips.
Despite his confidence, Steve loses really, really fast.
“It’s broken,” he declares.
“It’s not,” you say. “Try again.”
“You just like to see me lose.”
You wiggle your way in front of him so that his arms cage you in, one on either side of you, leaning on the game. “I’ll show you.”
He hopes he isn’t breathing as hard as he thinks he is. He can feel the ghost of your back against his chest, so, so close. He slips another coin into the slot and lets you guide his hands to the controls.
His hands are just as warm as you remember. Solid and softer than they look. You refrain from interlocking your fingers with his and focus on guiding him through the game. It’d be so easy to hold his hand, though. Muscle memory.
This time around, even when the screen tells him ‘game over,’ Steve feels like he’s won something at the slightest bit of contact you’d initiated.
Dustin finds the two of you, still playing Pac-Man, and taps his wrist. Duty calls.
After dropping the kids off, the car much quieter, you let yourself look at Steve as he drives. His side profile, the slope of his nose and line of his jaw, the way he squints at road signs.
“You should be wearing your glasses,” you say. You’re not even sure if he still has them.
“You know I hate those things.”
It’s true, you do know that. He barely even wore them around you when you’d been dating. They made him shy, even though you told him he looks pretty either way, any way.
You find that you still know a lot of things.
You still know him. You know that he owns a pair of reading glasses. You know that he scratches the back of his neck when he’s nervous. You know that he knuckles at his eyes when he doesn’t get enough sleep. You know that he sunburns easiest on his nose, cheeks, and shoulders. You know him. All the small things, some he may not even know himself.
You might’ve missed some stuff, but really, you still know him. You still love him, too.
That realization hits you, a gust of wind strong enough to knock you off-balance if you weren’t sitting. You’ve been trying and trying to keep it all away. Yet, here you are, looking at the strand of hair that falls over Steve's forehead, realizing you love him all over again in the passenger seat of his BMW.
Maybe you never really stopped.
“Ace, did you hear me?”
“Hm?” You blink and suddenly he’s looking at you, too. And the car’s not moving. When did that happen?
“You zoned out on me, I think,” he runs a hand through his hair, pushing that strand you'd been focused on back into place. “We’re here.”
Your house, he means.
“Sorry. Thank you for driving,” you say, reaching for the handle and popping the door open. You bonk your head in your haste to get out.
“Shit! You okay?” He says, his hand reaching for you even though you’re too far to touch.
“Yup! Never better.”
Terrified by the four letter word that hasn’t left your head since it came back in, you can’t help but try to get away from Steve, from the boy who’s drawn the feeling from you in the first place without even trying. You hurry to the door with a rushed ‘bye!’
Steve stares at your front door even after you’ve closed it, eyebrows scrunched and mouth in a confused pout. He wonders what you were thinking about as he tried to grab your attention the whole way home.
-
Steve’s made a habit of visiting you at work.
If you’re working during the day, he’ll drive over on his lunch breaks and be sure to be seated in your section. If you’re working evenings, he’ll make some excuse about not wanting to cook dinner and still, he requests your section.
He‘s been coming so often that the hostesses don’t even wait for him to ask, they just nod and seat him at one of your tables.
You’ve had a lot of time to let your rediscovered love for Steve simmer, but it’s always there, making you smile like an idiot when you see him, making you stop yourself from reaching for his hand whenever it’s close enough.
It was naive of you to think you could limit yourself to friendly feelings for him. You know that now.
Walking out of the back, you find him sitting at what has become his usual table. A small round one, usually for two. The chair across from him empty. You like that better than when Becky was the one sitting in it.
“I’m starting to think you have no kitchen at all,” you say, standing behind the empty seat, leaning a hand on top of it.
“You caught me.”
“Seriously, you know you don’t have to come here to see me.”
“I want to come here to see you.”
Really, at this point, Steve thinks he’d be happy to visit you anywhere. Because of that, he’s definitely spending way too much money at Enzo’s.
“Okay then,” you tuck your hair behind your ear, then grab your notepad to write down his order. “What’ll it be this time?”
As much as Steve wishes you could sit down with him, he knows you have a job to do, so he gives you his order and takes any minute of conversation you can give him.
He watches you tend to the other tables you have, your smile and the way you talk, your mannerisms and the pattern of your steps. Often, he wonders if he’d still be sitting here, watching you with something in his eyes that can only be described as longing, if he never broke up with you that day. He likes to think he would be, only he’d be allowed to kiss you goodbye the way he so often wants to.
Maybe it’s wishful thinking to believe he could get to do that again, one day.
Since he felt your hands over his those weeks ago at the arcade, he’s decided he’ll do whatever it takes to win you back. He’ll wait as long as he needs to, and do his best to prove that he won’t hurt you again.
Steve’s never stopped loving you, not for a second, and seeing your face again only reminded him of that. Being your friend again only amplified it.
Even worse, all of your friends are well aware of this. They never let him hear the end of it.
“Here you go,” you say, putting his food in front of him.
He shoots you a quick smile, “thank you.”
“‘Course. And don’t bother paying this time, it’s on me.”
“Don’t do that, I’m paying.”
“I already did it, okay? Just shut up and let me.”
When you walk away, he shakes his head and smiles at your retreating figure. Classic Ace, he thinks, so insistent on doing nice things. Yeah, he’ll wait years if he has to.
You chat with him when you can, telling him about a customer who’d yelled at you earlier in your shift over something so small, you can’t even remember why they were angry in the first place. He laughed through your story and offered to find the person and beat them up for you.
You reminded him that he usually loses fights.
A stern talking to, then, he’d said.
You giggled. Laughs like that came easy with Steve.
You were busy when he left, but when you went over to clean his table you’d found enough money left behind to pay for his food and give you a tip. You rolled your eyes at that. That’s Steve, always being the one to take care of everyone else. He can’t even let you pay for one damm meal.
He’d also left a note scrawled on a Family Video sticky note.
Thanks for letting me bug you again. Hope you’re not sick of me! -Steve x (and keep your money, please).
You folded it into a neat square and put it in your back pocket. This was a habit of his, too; leaving notes behind after he’d leave. So far, you’ve kept them all, in that same shoebox in your closet from high school.
You’re absolutely hopeless.
-
Steve didn’t have an excuse to call you, he just really wanted to see you. Or, hear your voice, at least.
“Hello?” You picked up after a couple rings.
“Ace. You busy today?”
“Mmm apart from laying down all day, no.”
“You wanna come lay down all day here?”
If he couldn’t hear you then, you would drop your face into your pillow and squeal. Instead, you press your free hand to your cheek and try to suppress your stupid grin.
“I guess I can shuffle some things around.”
“You’re awful,” he says. “I’ll see you soon?”
“Yep.”
A click and it’s quiet again.
It’s not even half an hour later that you’re knocking on the Harrington’s door. Steve opens up quickly (he’d been standing near the door waiting for you) and moves aside to let you in.
Steve scans your outfit as you walk ahead of him. You’re clad in slouchy sweats. He thinks you look beautiful. He thinks it all of the time, but there’s something about you being comfortable enough with him not to dress up that warms him from the inside out.
It reminds him of how you used to walk around his house, whenever his parents weren’t there, in your underwear and his softest t-shirt.
Baby steps, he thinks.
“Are you hungry?” He asks as you plop down onto his couch.
“I'm okay. A little tired.”
“I did ruin your plans of laying around, didn't I?”
“Ruin’s not the right word,” you say. You’d much rather be in his company than buried in your bed, anyway.
He sits next to you after turning on the TV, letting whatever’s playing stay on. There’s a respectable distance between you, your thighs close, but not touching.
“Are you happy you came back here?” Steve turns his head toward you. Here, as in Hawkins. Here, as in with him.
Your head pivots toward him, cheek on your shoulder. Your eyes find his. “Yes. Really happy.”
“Me too.”
There are a million things you could say, but then, in that moment, it feels like you don’t have to. Something silent is being shared. You look back at the TV and sink into the cushions.
As time goes on, your eyes grow heavier, blinking slowly trying to stay awake. Steve notices when your head falls forward a little and you force it back up.
“You’re tired.”
“Worked the closing shift last night.”
“You can lay down. I meant it when I said you
could do that here.”
“I’ll fall asleep.”
“That’s kinda the point.”
You frown at him. “But then you’ll be all alone.”
“Just lay down, Ace.”
You roll your eyes but do it anyway. You’d actually been ready to nap when Steve called, but figured sleep could wait.
He tries not to overthink it when he gently places a hand on the side of your head, urging you to use his lap as your pillow. You go easily and blame it on your sleepy mind.
Instinctively, once you’re settled with your cheek on his thigh, Steve pets your hair from your face. He pulls his hand back, afraid of overstepping, but you miss his touch.
“No, don’t. Feels nice.”
“Okay,” he almost whispers.
Steve’s hand goes back to your hair, pushing it from your face, letting his fingers get tangled in it before pulling them back and doing it again. You fall asleep quickly, surrounded by Steve’s scent.
You nap for about forty minutes. Steve’s hand doesn’t stop at all, afraid that you’d wake up. He hasn’t paid much attention to the TV. Instead, he’s been tracing the details of your face over and over with his eyes.
Your eyelashes kissing the skin of your under eyes, the slope of your nose, the way your lips are slightly parted and pouting. He’s known it for years now, but you’re the prettiest girl he’s ever seen.
All soft and, by his standard, absolutely perfect.
Self-indulgently, he lets his hand wander from your hair, the back of his index finger tracing a delicate line from your forehead, down your nose, and across your cheek. You stir and he feels guilty.
“Did I wake you?”
You blink your eyes open and squint, turning so you lay on your back rather than your side, looking up at him. “Nuh-uh,��� you say, even though he did.
If you were woken up like that every day, well, you’d become a morning person.
“Liar.”
“Am not.” He shakes his head, you yawn. “How long did I sleep?”
“Not long. You feel better?”
“Much,” you nod, even though there’s a kink in your neck from the way you had it perched on his lap. You don’t care, it was the best sleep you’d had for a while.
You sit up and stretch until something cracks.
“Thanks for being my pillow.”
“Steve Harrington, human pillow, at your service.”
You push his shoulder lightly, “dork.”
You both laugh lightly. The sound fades when you realize how close your faces are. You reach up and brush the skin under his eye with your thumb.
“Eyelash,” you explain.
“Make a wish.”
When you were young, you wished on every birthday cake candle, every shooting star, that you’d find your person. Then, in your time with Steve, you wished to keep it. Now, as you blow the lash off your finger, you wish to have it back.
“Done.”
“What’d you wish for?”
“If it ever comes true, I’ll tell you.”
He nods, the tips of your noses brush. You can't stop your eyes from flicking to his mouth with him this close, you can feel his breaths, warm puffs of air against your skin.
Steve’s hand creeps up to cradle the back of your neck so gently you could cry. He uses it to guide you forward until your forehead is pushed against his.
“Steve.”
The whisper of his name is what snaps the rubber band. Steve tips your head up and kisses you.
It’s everything you remembered, and everything you’d forgotten, too. His lips are still soft, they still fit with yours the way puzzle pieces click together. Over time, you forgot how his feelings poured out of him when he’d kiss you. Now, he’s shy with it, slow-moving.
He pulls away, just for a second, to look at you, to check that you’re okay. You chase his mouth and he’s a goner, diving back in and inhaling deep at the feeling.
You can feel yourself melting into him, getting lost in the press of his lips against yours.
It hits you that Steve hasn’t kissed anyone since he was with you. That it’s been years since he’s last done this. I haven’t kissed anybody since we, um, broke up.
This is a big thing. Kissing Steve again is a big and scary thing. His free hand laying itself on your thigh jolts you out of it. You pull away, breathing heavy.
“I’m sorry,” Steve says, pulling his hands away. “Fuck, I’m sorry.”
“No, no. It’s just- I shouldn’t have done that.”
You’re supposed to be pushing your feelings aside. You’re supposed to be friends, that’s it. You’re not supposed to let it get to this point again, because you know how it feels when it ends. That can’t happen again.
“No, Ace. I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry.”
“Please, don’t be sorry, okay?” You stand up, almost dizzy. “I’m just gonna go, I think.”
“Hey, come on. Stay. It won’t happen again.”
“I just need to, um, clear my head.”
You hurry to the door, trying to slip your shoes on as fast as possible. Steve catches your wrist loosely as you reach for the door.
“You can talk to me. You don’t have to leave.”
“I need to think, Steve,” you open the door. This time, he lets you. Before you close it you turn to him, “I’m not mad, I promise.”
All he can do is nod slowly and stare at the door long after you’ve closed it.
-
You meant it: you’re not mad. Well, not at Steve. You’re mad at yourself, really, for letting yourself fall for him again, for making yourself remember exactly how it feels to kiss him.
You’re not mad at Steve and yet, you haven’t been alone with him since that day. It’s for your own good, you hope. You don’t want to let yourself be with him again because you know what it feels like to lose him. It hurts and it sucks and you’d rather love him quietly than feel that ever again.
It’s game night at the Wheeler’s now, and so far, you’ve lost pretty much every game. You find it doesn’t bother you all that much when you’re around such good people.
As Nancy shuffles Uno cards, you stand, “skip me this round. I gotta pee.”
“Thank you for announcing that,” Dustin says.
“You’re welcome, Dusty,” you ruffle his hair on your way to the bathroom.
Once you’re washing your hands, you inspect yourself in the mirror. Your hair’s frizzier than you’d like and your mascara’s smudged under your eyes. You use your pinky, wet with tap water, to wipe it away.
You unlock and open the door and find Steve leaning against the wall in the hallway. Not expecting anyone to be there, you jump.
“Didn’t mean to scare you,” he says, laughing lightly.
“Why’re you standing there?”
“Waiting for the bathroom.”
You don’t point out that there are more than one bathrooms in the Wheeler’s house. Instead, you move out of the doorway and let him go in. Only, he doesn’t move.
“Okay, I lied,” he confesses. “I was waiting for you.”
“Oh. Well, here I am.”
“Yeah,” he looks you over, like he can’t help it. “Will you come home with me? So we can talk about…”
As much as you wish you could just forget about that kiss, you can’t. It hasn’t left your mind for more than five minutes at a time. Often, you find yourself pressing your fingers to your mouth, searching for the ghost of his. Besides, how can you say no to Steve saying the words ‘will you come home with me’?
“Okay,” you say quietly, then, more sure, “okay, sure.”
You walked there, and though you’d usually much prefer the comfort of the BMW, you can’t help but worry about what he wants to say the rest of the night.
Once you’ve said your goodbyes and walk towards Steve’s car, you can almost feel Robin’s knowing smile as she watches you climb into the passenger seat.
The drive feels like a dream in the sense that you blinked and it ended. You suppose time can fly when you’re lost in thought, in what-ifs.
You only realize you’ve made it to Steve’s house when you hear the click of the gearshift and the quiet of the engine shutting off that follows. You follow him inside, watching the way he fiddles with his keys, his hand flicking on the lights inside.
He leads you to his bedroom. He knows he could’ve stopped in the kitchen or the living room, but he’s most comfortable in the only room that feels completely his in the house. He needs to be comfortable for this.
You sit on the edge of his bed, and he leans on the dresser across from you.
There’s an anticipation almost humming in the air. Who will speak first, what will they say.
“So-”
“Listen-”
You speak at the same time.
“You first,” Steve offers.
“I’m sorry for running out like that. I was just overwhelmed, I guess. Had to think.”
“Don’t be sorry, please. I feel like I should be apologizing to you.”
For so much more than just that kiss. Then again, he’s not really sorry for kissing you, he’s only sorry for possibly hurting you with it.
“We were doing so good.” He furrows his brows at you in question. “At just being friends.”
“I don’t think I could ever look at you as just a friend, Ace. Not after knowing what it’s like to have you.”
You want to tell him you feel the same, you want to tell him so bad. The words are stuck in your throat. You’re so afraid, so nervous, for what could happen if you try this again.
“Do you regret kissing me?” You ask instead.
“I know I should, but I can’t regret anything with you.”
“I don’t regret it, either.”
The room seems to shrink, the air thicken. Steve’s hands clench on the edge of the dresser, holding himself back, almost.
You don’t think you want him to hold back. You want to slap yourself for it, but you’ve missed the way his kiss melted you every day since you felt it. Maybe, if you can’t tell him, you can show him how you feel.
“Kiss me again,” you say.
“What?”
He must have heard you wrong. Only, when you repeat yourself, he knows he didn’t.
“You’re sure?” He checks.
All you can do is nod, almost eagerly. He pushes off from the dresser and stands in front of you. Your knees brush against the fabric of his jeans as he moves closer. His hands gently cup your face, tilt it up so you’re looking at him.
His eyes flick between yours, and when you nudge your cheek into his hand, like an encouragement, he bends down to place his lips over yours.
It starts gently, like the last one. Steve’s lips glide over yours slowly, making sure you don’t want to pull away. It feels like high school and sneaking through windows, like popcorn kisses at the movies and the feeling of Skull Rock behind your back. It feels like the past and yet, there’s an emotion there that wasn’t before.
Longing, knowing what it feels like to lose this.
It’s gentle until your hands snake their way under Steve’s shirt, feeling the warmth of his skin, the sunshine pouring out of him. That’s when his hold on your face becomes a bit more firm, one of his thumbs pushing on your chin to get you to open it for him.
That’s when the dam seems to break.
Steve kisses you deeper and deeper, pushing himself closer and closer until you’re being laid down on the bed. He pulls away from you, his lips kiss-swollen and pink, to give you space to push yourself up to his pillows.
He tugs his shirt off before climbing over you, his hands digging into the mattress on either side of your head, his brown eyes darkened.
“You okay?” He checks.
“Yes,” you nod, “I missed you.”
You wind your arms around his neck and pull him back to you, his mouth finding yours easily. It’s been a long time since you’ve done this with Steve, but the rhythm of it all comes easily. It’s hard to forget someone when you’ve spent so long learning what they like.
He kisses you enough to feel dazed, your head a jumble of SteveSteveSteve and your hips canting towards his unconsciously. He’d been holding his weight off of you before that, but feeling you brush against him had him pushing his hips against yours, pinning you to the bed.
You broke the kiss only to catch your breath, and Steve took the time to push wet kisses down your jawline, to your neck, breathing heavy in between them.
Selfishly, possessively, he tugs the neckline of your shirt down and sucks a hickey into your collarbone, licking over it when he’s done. Your hands have buried themselves in his hair at some point, and you feel his groan against your skin when you tug.
He moves down still, pushing your shirt up to bunch underneath your bra and peck his way across your stomach.
“Steve,” you almost whine.
He peeks up at you, “yeah, baby?”
Baby. He hasn’t called you that in years. The sound of the pet name in his voice is enough to have the dampness in your panties grow.
“You’re teasing me.”
“You used to like that,” he pouts.
“It’s been too long. Please.”
He’s trying to act composed on the outside when really, the word ‘please’ leaving your mouth is enough to have him push his crotch into the mattress.
“I’ll make it up to you,” he says. His hand pauses on the waistband of your pants, “can I?”
“Yes.”
He unbuttons them and tugs down the zipper, sits up on his knees to pull them down and off your legs, your socks and underwear follow.
Steve can’t believe this is happening, he can’t believe you’re there, on his bed, looking so pretty for him. He resists the urge to pinch himself.
You grow shy under his stare, his eyes focused where you’re embarrassingly wet all because of him. You try to shut your legs, but he stops you with a hand on your knee, “you’re beautiful, Ace. You don’t need to hide. It’s just me.”
You’re not sure how to tell him the reason you care so much is because it’s him of all people. Steve who you’ve known for so long, Steve who you used to have, like this. Steve, who you love.
He lays down between your legs, his arms wrapping around your thighs, thumbs running back and forth soothingly across your skin. He kisses up your thighs and pauses when his breath hits your cunt. He glances up at you for permission.
You nod, a hand finding one of his on your leg and weaving your fingers together.
You try to keep your head up to be able to see him, but as soon as he runs his tongue up your slit it falls back into the pillow, a gasp escaping you. You squeeze his hand in yours.
Steve works you quickly, so much so that it’s clear he hasn’t forgotten a single thing about you.
His tongue runs over you again and again, your slick surely all over his mouth. When it hits the bead of your clit, your free hand is in his hair again. He grunts into you at the pull, and you can’t help but moan at the feeling of it all.
When your hand squeezes his even tighter, Steve moves his free hand to your entrance, his mouth hit around your clit. He works a finger in, then a second. He curves them and searches until he finds the spot that makes you whimper out a noise he wants to hear again.
“Steve,” his name a breathy moan.
“Go on, baby. I can feel it. You wanna come?”
“Yes, yes, please.”
“I've got you.”
He works his fingers quicker, puts his mouth back on you and flicks his tongue and just like that you’re being pushed over the edge, your eyes squeezing shut and your hands holding him even tighter.
He watches as you come down, his cheek against your thigh, “so pretty.”
You manage a lazy smile, taking your hand out of his hair, “sorry. Did that hurt?”
“I liked it. You know that.”
He moves back up until his face is above yours, kissing you, letting you taste yourself on him.
Your hands trail down his back, his muscles shifting as he holds himself up. They land on the waistband of his jeans, tracing it around to his stomach, letting your fingers go further, feeling the skin just above his underwear.
You pull back from his mouth to glance down to where your fingers run back and forth over his skin, pausing to undo the button of his jeans.
“Who’s teasing now?” He says, voice low in your ear.
A shrug is your reply, followed by his zipper being pulled down slowly. His head bends to watch your hands work his pants and boxers down enough to free him, his cock hard and pink at the tip, pretty as ever.
You wrap a hand around him, “better?”
“Much.”
You work him slowly, like you’re trying to remember the feeling of him, your hand pausing at the tip to let your thumb run over it.
Steve tried to remember the way your hand felt against him when he was desperate and alone. Now, having you again, he knows his imagination could never do you justice. You’re soft in a way he never could be.
When you squeeze him a bit tighter, moving a bit quicker, he drops his head onto your shoulder, groaning.
“Ace.”
“Uh-huh?”
“If you keep doing that I’m gonna come,” he picks his head up, sets his eyes on yours, “I don’t wanna come like this.”
“Feels nice in my hand, though.”
“I can make it feel a whole lot better, if you’ll let me.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I want you, Ace.”
“I want you, too.”
He pecks your lips quickly before standing to take his pants off fully. You take your shirt and bra off at the same time. It makes you nervous to be naked in front of him again, and the way he looks at you doesn’t help. It’s a searing gaze, almost burning your skin.
“Look at you,” he whispers, almost like he was saying it to himself.
He climbs over you once more when you make hands at him. His skin is warm, mirroring the way you feel all over. Steve tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, trails his hand down your neck, to your chest. He cups you in his palm, squeezing lightly then letting a thumb run over your nipple.
You bite back a whimper.
His mouth gives the tit that isn’t in his hand attention, pecking and sucking and licking.
“Steve,” you push your hips up.
“Sorry, baby. Missed these girls, too.”
You roll your eyes.
He kisses your cheek and takes the hand off your chest to hold himself, running his head up and down your slit, wetting it with your slick. When he pauses at your entrance, he looks at you.
“You’re still okay? Still want this?”
You nod, hands running in circles on the back of his shoulders, “yes. I’m ready.”
He’s big, and the stretch of him pushing into you is sharper now that you’re not used to it. He soothes you with sweet words and soft kisses to your neck.
Halfway, he checks in, “good?”
You wrap your legs around his thighs and pull him in the rest of the way, whining when his pelvis is against yours.
“Fuck,” he says into the skin of your neck, just below your ear. “You’re heaven, Ace.”
“Move, Steve,” your hands tighten on his shoulders. “Please.”
He doesn’t need to be told twice, pulling back slowly only to push in again. You can feel everything, you think. Maybe because it’s been so long or because sex with someone you love is better than any other sex. Maybe it’s just Steve.
He’s all over you. His hair tickling your chin, his mouth open against your neck, breaths hot against your skin. He’s in your mind and in your heart and in you, deeper than anyone else. You feel so full. Of him, of emotion, of memories of nights you used to have just like this one.
Full of him in every way.
“God, you’re perfect,” he says. “There’s nobody like you. No one, Ace.”
“I-” love you, you almost say. “Steve.”
The pitch of your voice tells him to go faster, and he lifts his head to see your face. Mouth agape, soft moans and breaths spilling out, eyebrows scrunched, eyes falling shut when he finds your spot.
“Open your eyes,” he says, softly. “Come on, baby.”
You do, blinking them open and looking up at him. His hair is a mess around his head, sweaty strands falling over his forehead, his cheeks are flushed pink and you’re sure they’d be warm to the touch.
He drops his forehead against yours, your sounds and breaths mingling between your mouths, your noses nudging against each other with every push of his hips.
Your arms go around his neck, one hand tangling itself in the hair at the nape of his neck. You’re getting closer and closer and by the way his movements grow just a bit faster, a bit sloppier, he is, too.
“Ace. Baby, you’re there, yeah? I can feel you squeezing me,” his lips brush yours as he speaks.
“So close, Steve.”
He’s holding himself up on one elbow, trailing his free hand down to rub circles over your clit. “Come on.”
You finish with a cry of his name, your eyes squeezing shut. It’s overwhelming, the feelings that blind you. The pleasure and the affection, the heat and the love you really don’t think you could imagine. So much so that tears slip from the corners of your eyes.
He’s not far behind, “shit. Where do you want me?”
In your haze, you can barely manage a reply, “tummy.”
He pulls out and jerks himself until you can feel him coming on your skin. He moans and it’s a beautiful sound. You run your hands over his skin through it all, grounding him and yourself.
Your foreheads are still together, slick with sweat.
“Fuck,” he pecks you once, twice, three times. “You okay?”
“Really good.”
“Will you stay?”
You hadn’t even thought of leaving. You wouldn’t dream of it. Not now, at least, in your post-orgasm daze where fears and worries don’t reach you.
“Mhm,” you hum your agreement.
Steve’s grin splits his cheeks, wide and toothy and infectious enough to make you smile, too.
“I’ll be right back,” he rolls away from you, standing beside the bed. Before walking away, he bends to peck you again. He heads to the bathroom after that.
You note the freckles that dot his back and shoulders as he goes. A constellation you never forgot; burned in your memory. One you used to play connect the dots with in the mornings.
He comes back with a wet cloth, wiping his come from your stomach and then cleaning you up as gently as possible, giving a soft apology when you whimper in sensitivity.
He tosses the cloth aside when he’s done and searches his drawers for a clean pair of boxers. He tugs them on then finds a baggy sleep shirt for you. You watch him the whole time, the way he moves and the way the streetlights seeping in through the window light his skin.
Coming back to you, he tells you to sit up and puts the shirt over your head. He didn’t even have to ask, he knows what you like to sleep in. When you look at the shirt he picked, you find it’s one that used to be your favorite.
You bring the fabric to your nose and hide your grin in it.
Steve pulls the blankets over you, then himself when he lays down beside you. He doesn’t even hesitate before tugging you closer with an arm around your waist.
“I really missed you, Ace.”
“Missed you, Steve,” you reply sleepily.
He kisses your forehead.
You fall asleep easily, Steve’s fingers running back and forth over your skin, his heartbeat steady beneath your ear.
-
Steve wakes up before you do.
You’ve both moved in your sleep. Now, you lay on your stomach, face turned towards him and cheek squished into the pillow. He lays on his side, propped up by his elbow, looking at you.
He looks at you, asleep and pretty, and wonders how he could ever give you up.
His free hand tucks your hair behind your ear, away from your face, brushes his knuckles across your cheeks as lightly as possible. He moves to your arm and traces the words ‘I love you’ into your skin.
He draws the words over and over, only pulling his hand away when you rouse.
You breathe in deep before opening your eyes, moving your head on the pillow to look over at Steve properly. His eyes are already set on you, puffy with sleep and full of something you’re not sure you’re ready to face.
“Hi,” his voice is different in the morning, lower.
“Hi.”
“Sleep okay?”
“Mhm,” you stretch your legs and turn onto your side. “You?”
“Better than I have in a while, actually.”
You can tell that there’s something he wants to say, that he’s thinking of the words. It makes you nervous, your stomach twisting uncomfortably. Maybe he regrets it. Almost worse, maybe he doesn’t.
“Can I say something?”
“Steve-”
“No, let me say it. If you hate it, we can forget about it, okay?”
His eyes are soft, pleading. You can tell that whatever it is, it really matters to him and there’s no way you can ignore that.
“Okay.”
“I still love you.”
His words hang in the air, your chests both rise and fall a bit quicker, hearts beating faster in tandem.
You’ve been dreaming of him saying it to you, and yet, hearing it out loud, you can’t help but be terrified. You love him, you know you do, and it scares you. It’ll hurt worse the second time around if you lose him.
“I still love you,” he continues in your silence. “I miss you so much, Ace. I want to do it again. I want to be with you and do it right.”
“I don’t want to lose you again.”
“You didn’t. You won’t. I’ve thought of you every day since you left,” his hand finds yours atop the sheets, fingers linking. “I didn’t want to break up with you, and I never wanted to hurt you.”
“Why did you?”
He squeezes his eyes shut for a second. Squeezes your hand, too.
“I thought I was doing the right thing. You were going off to school and I’d be here and I didn’t want to hold you back. I wanted you to go and to do it fully.”
Your heart pinches in your chest. Steve really believed he’d been doing you a favor by letting you go.
“It hurt for a long time, Steve. I don’t know if I can do that again.”
“I’m not gonna hurt you again, Ace,” he swipes away the tear that falls from your cheek. “Just answer one thing for me?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you love me?”
It’s the most obvious answer in the world.
“Of course I love you, Steve. I would’ve stayed if you asked me to.”
“That’s why I did it,” his thumb runs over your cheek gently. “I couldn't let you give it all up for me. But you’re back now, and I love you and you love me. Let me try again.”
You want to say yes. So badly, you want to be with him. So why can't you just say it? It’s like glue’s been dropped down your throat, sticking all the right words in it so that nothing useful comes out. You try anyway.
“I’m just scared.”
You shut your eyes.
“Will you look at me?” You do, and right then it’s hard to feel scared anymore. He’s looking at you like he’s never been more sure of anything. “You’re my forever. I know you are. Let me show you.”
You focus on his hand in yours, his touch on your face. You focus on the fact that this is Steve. Steve who you love, who you know you want to be with past all the fear and worry.
“Okay,” you nod.
“Okay? Like, you’ll be my girl again?”
“Yes, yeah.”
His grin spreads wide enough to have his eyes crinkling at the corners. He rushes forward to kiss you, three quick pecks broken by your smiles.
“Can I tell you something?” You ask him, suddenly brave, like his kiss fixed everything.
“Anything.”
“I wished for you. On that eyelash. The day we kissed.”
He kisses you again for that.
thank u for reading! if you enjoyed it please consider reblogging and letting me know what you thought it would mean a bunch <3
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akumakosuke · 2 months
Text
I’m outta the hospital and back on my usual horny shit….
I cannot get these thoughts outta my head someone restrain me…
Look, im all for having a ‘fit’ partner.
Hard muscles, tight abs, slim waist, slender body and whatnot but sometimes i just want a big chubby teddy bear of a lover to come home to and use their thicc thighs as pillow.
I’m talkin’ ‘bout fluffy, okay? Stocky, wide hips, tummy pudge, thicc thighs, full chest and an absolute dump truck that i want parked on my fuckin’ face, i don’t give a fuck if they think I wouldn’t be able to breathe or they’re ’too heavy’!
Baby suffocate me! Glory, glory what of a hell of a way to die!
Wrap those thighs around my head, I ain’t a watermelon I ain’t gonna burst so easily!
i say watermelon because with those thighs they could crush one and the way i would sell my soul to be that watermelon.
I want to hear those pretty, little, breathy moans fall from their lips like a river of honey while I devour them like the sweetest treat in the world.
My hands gripping their full ass, moulding the soft flesh like fresh clay.
God, they would be so damn gorgeous it would drive me insane.
I would literally worship the ground they walked on!
I would make sure to make all their insecurities melt away like snow on the first day of spring, making sure they know how much i love them and their body, telling them how cute they are, how perfect they are.
Oh to sink my teeth into their pudgy stomach, leaving indentations of my teeth, marking them as mine.
Watching them squirm and writhe as i trail up their stomach, marking their full chest, wrapping my lips around their nipples, sucking like i could get milk outta them, urg!
Praising them softly while my hands grip their hips as i drill my dick into their tight heat, wrapping around my entire length and squeezing so deliciously, their walls pulsing because we’ve been at it for hours but I just can’t stop because the feeling is so addictive, so warm, so wet, so perfect.
Forcing their knees up to their chest, folding them in half after they said they could do it because their ‘too fat’ or some dumb shit like that, like respectfully shut up there’s no such thing and i refuse to them insult themselves and thing ‘fat’ is a bad thing.
Watching their body ripple as i pound into them like a wild animal because they make me lose control and I can’t help myself! It’s so mesmerising I can’t look away, I don’t want to look away, i would never look away.
Fucking every thought and insecurities outta that pretty little head of theirs if they are insecure which they shouldn’t be because they’re so beautiful, my beautiful, big baby.
AND
Just holding them from behind, wrapping my arms around their waist, delicately trailing my fingers up and down their perfect curves in front of the mirror, my face nuzzled into their neck, peppering small kisses along their soft jawline while whispering how much i love them.
3 a.m snack runs because we’re both hungry after i blew their back out, hands intertwined as they pull me along, grabbing our favourite snacks and drinks. Them still having so much energy when just an hour ago they were panting, begging for a break.
Coming home after a long day and being greeted by the biggest smile, warmest hugs and softest kisses. Cuddling in our room, them laying on their back and me laying on them with my head on their tummy, arms around their waist while they run their hands through my hair.
IN CONCLUSION i just need a chubby lover to hold me like a baby AND fuck like a beast THANK YOU.
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angelrari · 7 months
Text
gossip girl · pt. viii
based on the tv series gossip girl
max verstappen / charles leclerc x socialité!reader
fc: elsa hosk (y/n) · taylor hill (léa) · barbara palvin (jolie)
a/n: hello!! i am back! sorry for not updating earlier, the uni has been killing me and i felt way too tired to stop and write for a while. hope you like this a lot! and once again thank you so much for the comments and the support on the last part🤍
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gossip girl here, your one and only source into the scandalous lives of monaco's elite.
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autumn seemed to be the season of birthday celebrations: firstly was jolie's, then max's and now charles'. he had called yesterday, around dinner time, to ask you if you wanted to come to his birthday gathering. it was supposed to be a simple lunch with his childhood friends, who you knew from years ago, and he wanted you to be there. so now you stood in front of his apartment door with a cake you had baked the night before, following the recipe he had once told you it was his favorite.
"hurry up, you idiot". you whispered underneath your breath, feeling the weight of your purse threatening to fall from your left shoulder anytime soon.
charles opened the door a couple of seconds later. from his rosy cheeks, his damp hair and the fresh smell of gel you could tell he had recently gotten out of the shower. he wore a soft beige sweater and wide dark trousers. he had always been attractive, but god he looked good. his sincere smile widened and his green eyes lit up when he saw the cake you were holding.
"no way! you baked this for me?".
"of course, i didn't want to come empty-handed".
"you're the best, y/n". he said as he extended his hands to grab the cake. "let me help you".
you followed charles inside the apartment. quickly you noticed how tidy everything was. charles had never been a messy person, but it was obvious he had made sure everything was perfect today. he went inside the kitchen and he carefully placed the cake on the counter. afterwards, he had opened his arms to give you the warmest hug.
"thank you y/n".
"it's nothing". you replied. "happy birthday charles".
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leablanc
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leablanc like a feather.
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username feather as in sabrina's song? liked by leablanc
username omg it's over fr!!!!!
username no birthday post, just shade. rip charlea you will be missed🙏
username why is charles in her likes when she's shading him? @/gossipgirl get to WORK
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while you waited for your friends to arrive, you looked at charles who gracefully played a song on the piano. you sat by his side watching how his fingers pressed the right keys without a single mistake.
"i don't remember this part". he said before stopping and quickly glanced at you.
"right, i'll show you".
clair de lune was the first proper song you had taught charles to play on the piano. one night during lockdown you had been re-watching twilight together and when you said how much you loved this song he suggested that you could teach it to him. charles was a fast learner and a hard-worker, the kind of pupil every teacher wishes they had. and you were patient and tender, the kind of teacher every pupil adored. most days, after he had finished his training, you would sit with him and teach him another part. some days, when he got tired of learning, he would sneak his hands underneath your shirt and with a soft kiss on your shoulder he would suggest that maybe it was time to do something different. and sometimes, when you watched him play, you would lean your head on his shoulder and wait for him to stop playing just to place his lips on yours.
"i think i might need you to start teaching me again". he said once you finished playing debussy's song.
"i will gladly do it for some karting classes in exchange".
"are you still that bad at it?".
"absolutely terrible. my sister beat my ass the other day". you replied and he chuckled.
"it's a deal then". he said. "but i still won't let you win if we compete against each other".
"oh, you were the worst. i remember the last time we went karting and i felt so humiliated. what kind of boyfriend does that to his girlfriend? you should've let me win".
"was i really?". he said. "i'm pretty sure the first thing told me when we were alone was-".
"oh, shut up". you interrupted him and he laughed loudly.
"what was it? baby, that was so hot-?". he said mocking your voice and you hit his arm softly.
"you're an idiot".
"i am, but you adore it".
i do. your cheeks hurt from smiling widely and now you could feel the blood rushing into them. charles was starring at you, his smile had faded away and his eyes dropped from yours to your red lips. your heartbeat was so loud you thought he could hear it. he placed his right hand on your chin and his face slowly came closer to yours. but sound of the doorbell made you him freeze in place.
"fuck". he swore under his breath as he quickly dropped his hand.
he sighed and nervously ran his fingers trough his hair while starring at you. when the doorbell rang for the second time, he stood up and left the living room, leaving you alone with your thoughts. shit, max. the questions in your head were so loud you almost couldn't listen the voices of your friends in the background.
"y/n is here". you heard charles say.
"god, i hope we weren't interrupting anything". a familiar female voice replied.
"don't worry, you weren't". charles lied. "please, come in".
the sound of giggles caught your attention. was that a baby? and before you could figure out who was it, your old friend lily fleury walked into the room. a few seconds later, her husband marc appared holding their baby in his arms.
"oh my god". you said the moment you saw her face.
"you didn't tell her?". lily asked charles and he shook his head.
"it was a surprise".
lily and marc had been living in barcelona for the last four years. marc, who was born in spain, got a job opportunity there and they decided to leave monaco. lily had been one of your closest friends when you were younger and you kept in contact even though you haven't seen each other since they left.
"i haven't seen you since forever". lily said as she gave you a hug.
"what are you guys doing here? are you visiting your family?". you asked.
"no, actually we moving back". marc explained. "barcelona is great, but, you know, we want nora to grow up here in monaco".
"i thought you knew everything, charles has been trying for days to gather all of us since we told him we were moving, i thought he told you". lily commented.
"i just thought it would be a nice surprise". charles said.
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yourusername
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yourusername cherry red 🍒
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gossipgirl or should we say "ferrari red"?
username WHAT DO YOU KNOW
lilyfleury i missed you so much let's do this again soon!!
yourusename please!!! also i need to see nora again, she's the so, so cute ❤️‍🩹
lilyfleury i know she adores you as much as i do 🤍
charles_leclerc nora loves me more
yourusername 🤥🤥🤥
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the night had arrived and it was time to leave. your heart felt full after spending the day with your old friends. lily and marc were getting nora ready to leave as charles held you tightly in his arms as you said your goodbyes.
"thank you, y/n". he said. "for being here today".
"honestly, it's me who should be thanking you". you replied. "i feel like you're helping me build the life i had here in monaco before i left".
"you don't need to thank me". he responded and left the softest kiss on your forehead. "i want you to feel at home once again, so you don't run away anymore".
"you don't have to worry, i'm here to stay".
"good, because i'm not letting you go once again".
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taglist: @cha-hot @carlandonorri-s @raizelchrysanderoctavius @drunkinthemiddleoftheday @crlsummer @f1mockingjay @ssararuffoni @au-ghosttype @jointhehunt67 @amalialeclerc @lazybot @kimmchijjajang @roseseraj @ponkaniee @champagneproblems17 @starshapedb0x @aundercover @lqvesoph @coffeewhore18 @coolio2195 @crazysaladchopshop @mirrorball-6 @nataliambc
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echo-lover · 3 months
Text
Why are you watching this, it's for kids. Focus on life, find yourself a partner, have your own family. You are an adult. Grow up.
You don't understand it. This is not just a series...
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This series gives me a chance to feel like a kid again. I find comfort, safety and care in the arms of characters who mean the world to me. I experience each of their moments of sadness, each of their smallest joys, as if they were my own. This is my home, my safe space. I love them with all my heart. Thank you Star-Wars for my beautiful family.
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I love Wrecker because he always managed to put a smile back on my face, even when I was having the worst day ever. His cheerful personality makes it impossible not to like him. Sometimes he is just a child, trapped in a large man's body. Behind all this muscles and enormous strength that can easily hurt you, there is a soft heart made of gold. He can be gentle, soft, even quiet if he has to. He would do absolutely everything for his family. He is also way more intelligent than he might think. The way he takes care of Omega melts my heart every time. Kids love him and he loves kids.
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I love Tech because he can quickly adapt to situations. His voice is so special... I could listen to him for hours and never get tired of his facts about everything he saw and heard on his missions. He showed me that being smart is not something I should be ashamed of. His voice is calming, gives me comfort... I love his little jokes and moments where he was just a little savage in conversations. Even though he processes moments and thoughts differently, he is still able to share his own feelings with Omega. She helped him open up and show the part of himself that he kept closed from the world, even from himself. He loved his family so much that he sacrificed himself for their safety, paying the biggest price. He is worth every tear I shed for him (and there were so many).
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I love Echo because I see a part of myself in him. He has been with me from the very beginning of my journey with Clones, and is one of the most important characters for me. I relate to him for many personal reasons. Even though he has experienced so much evil in his life, he is still able to be gentle, caring and show love to those who were closest to him. I especially love his bond with Omega, they both understand each other through their traumas, and way more. Omega quickly became the most important to Echo, but he couldn't give up on fighting, even for her. He felt that he has to somehow compensate for all the lost years when he was a prisoner on SkakoMinor. His honor, loyalty and courage inspire me every day. And his tenderness and softness touch my soul deeply. I could talk about him for hours and never get bored. I wish I'd be able to give him the biggest and warmest hug, and tell him how important he is to me.
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I love Crosshair because he's the type of character I could easily hate, but I don't. In fact Cross is very close to my heart, I feel sorry for him and I want to help him get back to his old self. He is so much more than what the Empire has done to him. This sniper who never misses, who doesn't have to use his muscles to hurt - words are enough for him - silent, yet sharp. Precise, accurate, always on point. Confident, knowing his skills. Painfully honest, but needing to prove his worth to others at the same time. I know there is this soft side of him, hidden, but it is there for sure. The side that loves his brothers and little sister more than his own life. He need some time to understand that he is worth all the love in the Galaxy and I hope that Omega will help him to realize, that his brothers never really left him. They would take him back, if he just wanted...
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I love Hunter because he makes me feel safe. I can't put it into words, but he's a character that reminds me of home... a loved one that I lost some time ago. He is so much like my dad at some point and his bond with Omega is so special for me. I know he's not perfect, he makes mistakes just like everyone else, but he always wants to do the right thing. He is a leader, not the one that only gives orders, but he is more like the head of the family who protect them - a father. He always puts his family first and is willing to do anything for them. For any of them, including Crosshair. He often doesn't give direct orders, just suggestions. His squad is not just soldiers, but they are his brothers, his closest family. His priorities changed when Omega appeared in his life - a child in need of a family, who trusted him and gave him love that he had never received before. From a soldier, he became a father, who would give everything for his daughter's safety and joy. His relationship with Omega is the most important to me. I loved him from the first moment and I could talk about him for hours, just like about Echo. I will always defend him. No matter what.
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I love Omega because she took the best parts of each of her brothers. She is fearless, brave, strong and ready to defend her family until the very end. She's just a sweet little girl who can't have a normal childhood. She's different, just like her brothers, and she's so proud of it. She is not afraid to show her individuality. But even though she is strong and brave, she is still just a child. She needs love, protection... family... and Bad Batch gave it to her... a home, a safe place, loving brothers... Words cannot describe how important she is to me. Now she has changed so much, she is no longer this little Omega from first season... I think she becomes so much like Hunter.
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