#anyways my point is that i may be a delusional freak but at least i don't lie to myself and everyone else abt it 🤷‍♀️

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

thinkin about that one kpop tweet that was like "when jaehyun gets a gf i'm not gonna act fake like the rest of y'all and say "i want her 😍" i'm going to kill myself" because they are the most genuine person i've ever heard from on the topic tbh. ik for a fact ppl just act fake when shit like that happens esp when they were super big "i wanna fuck him" fans before that lmao

#or the 'omg they're so cute!!' ppl. being happy for the person i get but don't lie to yourself and everyone else lmao #i say that but maybe they are being genuine and i don't get it because i am never genuine in that situation #in fact the only time i was happy for someone i wanted to fuck who got a gf was hyuna and dawn bc they're perfect for e/o #but i won't lie when i was obsessed w him before the truth got leaked i was really upset about the possibility of them dating 🙄 #simply because i am a dipshit who needs everything to be mine and mine alone and if i express attraction in someone w a gf i get angry #at myself. this i think stems back to my best friend deciding to date my 2 year long crush because she was mad at me and he liked her #and she didn't even like him like that but she would go 'you should be happy for us if you like both of us! why are you so angry?' #even tho she was legit just doing it to MAKE ME ANGRY and then she dumped him a week later after i stopped being mad at her #and tried to be 'genuinely' happy for them #so idk. that was probably the worst thing she could've done to me because i don't think i'll ever get over it and it happened when we were #like. 10 #anyways my point is that i may be a delusional freak but at least i don't lie to myself and everyone else abt it 🤷‍♀️ #unless it was like almost a yr ago when i found out abt jrmas gf and i lied and said i was happy for him LMAO but i had to say that to move #on w/ my life and it didn't even end up working bc here i am writing more text posts about how i haven't moved on and i hate his gf for #existing. welllllll i'm a mean and volatile person and i overindulge myself in other people's business if i become obsessed so i was never #a good person but that's the long and short of it i guess. #i really wish i wasn't so stupid and didn't have to proclivity towards people who will never know who i am and never like me if they did #but i have genuinely only been this way and if u read my life like a book u would be disgusted and perturbed by what u saw #but tou would be drawing parallels about this back to the first fuckin chapter i can tell ya that much #idk ig i was right when i said that this would be the last time and that it's him or nobody for me because i just don't care anymore #i can't believe i've ever been stupid enough to think that i'd end up with someone just bc i was a fan of them #and yet she ended up with him as a fan so. just makes me see red but it's whatever LMAO #if u read all that i implore u to block me if you have any bad vibes bc this is just the kind of person i am and i'm sorry i weird u out #and if ya do. thank u for ur concern and i'm sorry i couldn't have been a kinder or more well adjusted person who was worth talking to... #in the end i guess i am just the obsessive weirdo that i have been since i was 6 #it all just comes down to me not thinking she deserves him. i think if he stayed w kim i would've been fine and gotten over him normally #but he just had to fuck a fan huh #anyways i'll be fine no worries i just need to do hard drugs and die probably

[sleepyone2three]

This has been sitting in in my drafts for forever so I decided to finally finish it up! Thus, may I present:

How the demon bros would react if Lucifer had locked them away instead of Belphie

Can we talk about how lucky Lucifer was that it was Belphie he locked up and not one of his other brothers? Of all the sins, sloth is probably the best suited to being trapped in an attic. He can sleep the entire time and be giving into his vice at the same time. Meanwhile, if it had been any of the other brothers things could've been so much wilder! Just thinking about it has me rolling to be honest, so I decided I had to write this 😂

Mammon

Mammon would go stir crazy so fast. The only reason he hasn't completely lost his mind is the fact that Lucifer didn't bother to take Goldie away when locking him up. He has so many mental lists of the things he'll buy as soon as he's out.

Honestly, Mammon would probably whine a lot the entire time he was there too. He'd be bored out of his mind and unable to spend/get any Grimm. What kind of torture is this???

Lucifer honestly might get so annoyed with it that he'd resort to cursing Mammon so he can't talk. Ah... peace and quiet finally. This probably only leads to Lucifer feeling uneasy though since Mammon being quiet usually means he's thinking up new schemes or causing trouble.

You think Belphie got lucky with how trusting MC is? Mammon is probably one of the worst liars... ever. Mams is doomed, no way MC would be falling for any of his tricks.

This doesn't mean MC still wouldn't help though. They're horrible about sticking their nose in other people's business, even if it is well intentioned. So you know they're still going to get involved in all of this somehow.

I think Mammon would use MC to the point of getting out, but I can't see him planning to kill them. Lucifer already locked him away for being pissy about the exchange program, imagine what he'd do if Mammon killed Diavolo's precious exchange student *shudders*

Even if Mammon did hate humans, he's too soft to stick with that hate after getting to know MC. He'll probably try to rationalize that this one is an exception to the rule, his amazing influence being the reason of course.

The only plus side to all of this is that the witches and debt collectors can't find him.

Levi

Why did Lucifer lock him away in the first place? Dude is already a shut-in so he wasn't actually planning on doing anything. Maybe saying he would sick Lotan on Diavolo before allowing a normi human in their home was taking things too far though...

Honestly, as long as Lucifer at least left him with a gaming console and some anime, he'd probably be fine. Though, he would be very upset about not being able to keep up with the latest releases.

Levi would stress so much over if Mammon had sold his games and merch. The only way to stop him from spiraling with this would be if Lucifer promised to lock Levi's room with an equally powerful barrier.

Also freaks out that nobody will feed Henry 2.0 and his best friend will starve to death. Lucifer isn't totally heartless though, so he promises he will make sure Henry is well cared for until Levi has come to his senses.

Would probably plan to kill MC once out, but after talking about anime/games with them he isn't as sure anymore??? They seem to like the same stuff as him and don't call him gross... no! It must be some sort of ploy to gain his trust! This was just like in an anime he'd watched a while ago, Help! I've Been Locked Away By My Strict Older Brother And Now A Human Is Taking Over The Underworld! Ah, how life immitates art sometimes...

Satan

Oh geez, Satan would be furious if this happened. You think, he hated Lucifer before? Get ready for a whole new level.

Where does Lucifer get off, thinking he can get away with this!? Locking him away like this program isn't utterly delusional from the start anyway! If Satan didn't know better, he'd say that the elder brother had planned this from the beginning of even developing the exchange program. But that would require Lucifer to pull his head out of his own ass, so it's definitely not the case.

I mean... he'd have plenty of reading time at least? He's fuming to the point of having destroyed the entire room already, but he'll still be able to read plenty afterwards.

Lucifer tries to nudge Satan in a more positive direction of thinking, dropping off books that try to exemplify the beauty and potential of humanity. For the first time in his life, Satan refuses to even consider reading multiple books. Would possibly even consider destroying them in front of Lucifer, but I'm not sure he could actually go through with it.

Would 100% plan on and go through with killing MC once out. They'd have to really make an impression and connect with him if there's any chance to have things go otherwise. Even then, it's unlikely to stop this outcome. Consequences be damned, he will have the satisfaction of seeing how delicious Lucifer's expression will be upon seeing Diavolo's little pet project go up in flames.

Would take not getting to see his kitty friends pretty hard. He misses them and sometimes worries there isn't anyone else feeding/giving attention to them with him gone. If MC really wants to get in good with Satan, offering to check in on the feline population of the Devildom might be a solid starting point.

Satan does have to admit though, MC is an interesting human if nothing else. Unafraid to go against Lucifer's orders? Likes reading as much as him? Snuck a cat in to see him??? M-maybe they aren't the worst...

Asmo

I'm pretty sure his online following would form a search party if this happened. Radio silence from Asmo's accounts is unheard of and Lucifer better have an official statement about Asmo being in the exchange program if he doesn't want hordes of lesser demons showing up outside of the House of Lamentation.

Asmo's never really had to "rough it" and living without all his beauty products within reach is going to make him even angrier at Lucifer. This only gets worse the longer he's kept there, every flaking skin cell fueling his rage.

Gets a single zit and somehow finds a way to blame it on a human being in the house. Dramatic sniffles and crying commences as he's trying to sway Lucifer with his theory, though the elder seems less than convinced.

Would probably consider agreeing to the program once he's been without his products long enough, but is also called out on lying by Lucifer.

Baby boy would just be all smug and waiting for Solomon to try summoning him, thinking there'd be no stopping him from leaving at that point. Too bad Lucifer took this into consideration. Solomon is now mildly concerned and very curious what the heck this exchange program actually entails of the participants that could null the effects of a pact. Asmo's just whining about how cruel and unreasonable Lucifer is to do such a thing. And would you look at that? Lucifer's headache just got worse.

MC won't have to do much to begin swaying Asmo if we're being honest. This is especially so if he's feeling like he's become less attractive due to not being able to keep up his hourly daily self care routines and regimens for so long. Just sitting down and treating him like he's worthwhile even when he's "an abomination," will go a long way. Sneaking him some decadent lotion or products he mentioned offhandedly will seal the deal though.

They cared enough to actually listen when he looks like this? Even though they're not affected by his powers?? Maybe he was a little quick to shun the idea of the program... at the very least, they could make an adorable new plaything! Just thinking about all the makeovers and sleepovers had him feeling a little excited!

Beel

He ate his way out.

I don't know what else to say, even Lucifer isn't powerful enough to stop such an appetite. Besides that, no demon in their right mind at RAD would be down with their star Fangol leaving for an exchange program!

But in all seriousness, Beel is a simple demon with simple pleasures. MC just needs to bring him some food and show him that they aren't a monster who's out to hurt his family. Man just doesn't want to lose anymore family and was a lil hangry is all. Lucifer's the one who overreacted to the whole display.

On the plus side, the House of Lamentations food budget actually managed to build up a decent reserve while Beel was locked away. So you can be sure there's going to be the most amazing and decadent feast anyone has ever seen once he's out.

Belphi

Just glad it's not him I suppose 😂

Though he may actually be low-key jealous that it's not him. Just thinking of how much he could sleep without being woken up has him rethinking his stance on the exchange program.

But MC is so sweet and makes a good cuddle buddy/pillow for his naps, so he can't be too upset.

#obey me shall we date #obey me #obey me asmodeus #obey me mammon #obey me belphegor #obey me Leviathan #obey me Satan #obey me Lucifer #obey me Solomon #obey me MC #obey me headcannons #obey me imagine #my writing

[grox]

Obviously worthless white ass mixed guys like me are nowhere near the main target of antiblackness but there is such a disgusting fucking uniquely dangerous view of the world you may gain from having a black mother and coming out white anyway not even white for real just not that black and she raises you white as she can because you can pass as anything other than black but you dont even look normal or act normall at all you look and act like a freak. And the fucking fact that you have to give something up and its not even your choice to make its your parents choice its literally your culture or survival but thats the fucking evil of it we will never fucking survive no matter fucking what because guess what even though I was raised white I was raised white by my mother and even if I fucked a disgusting blonde racist nordic guy somehow and had kids those kids would still be fucked up because I was fucked up too & its not that simple. Its just not. And its the anriblackness that even black people hold because of the evil ass world that makes them do shit like this where its like God I had a horrible life as a black woman I dont want that for my child. And it has to be a painful choice like theres no way its not because in order to make this choice you have to be aware of this shit. You cant not fucking be. And either it doesn't work and the choice to pass it on is now up to the child upon reaching adulthood or it works and the child grows up with a hole in its chest because like there is no place for it in this world. We're never fucking getting out of this. we never are. Like society will never fucking know peace. Ever never ever never ever. You grow up seeing the shit your mother and aunts and shit go through and you talk about it with them because they cant confide in their husbands and they know this. and they know you both understand how messed up it all is. And them you see them putting other black people through the same shit and its just like. I'm sorry. But white people have won. Like they did. They split us all apart they fucking tricked us into doing this shit to one another in america. & you end up with such an intimate view of the fucking evil but it just doesn't fuck with you that much it wants your mom it wants your grandpa. But it will always. Keep its fucking eye on you. And your children. And theirs. Because there comes a point where you know what. Maybe they are white now. Maybe you did successfully take the black out of them and now they'll go on to keep making shit be evil. Maybe they're fucking devils on earth because nobody ever sat them down real quick with the "Btw your black" not even their parents like a stranger on xbox live trying to hurt them could have done just put like, a tiny sliver of you need to think about shit like think reeeeal hard for a moment at least or kill yoirseld in their head. Maybe I'm that point and I'm nothing more than a fucking delusional racist guy. What can you do. Literally what can you even do. Just witness it. blog about it faggot. Everybody needs to die at the same time so nobody can be blamed and we all go to heaven. I feel tainted

[yermes]

PAC 🛼:

Its me again unfortunately . This may be a weird flex but I freaking love my friends 🥹 I have some of the sweetest most creative friends ever. May have had to kiss a few frogs on my occult kik/ discord era but I found some really special magical friends out there in the ether. 🩷 As ur step mom I hope you have good friends too and not ones I side eye and be like uhm ya sure abt that one??? Anyways heres a reading for what to look for in a group/ coven/ circle/ whatever the fuck you kids call it these days.

Pick a meme

Pick a card

Queen of cups 🍯

Queen of the thrones of waters, Binah, Heh, watery aspect of water, 20° Gemini to 20° Cancer

Goddamn is there a lot of emotion up in your squad (not shitting on it just pointing it out) but for the most part it seems to be going well for you. This group seems mostly good natured however with mostly water and lack of everything else make sure what they’re actually talking about is concrete and its not just a flurry of ideas not based in actual practice or theory. They seem to cling on to a big flaw of the magic community and its being a dreamer with no follow through or work do do something actual instead sinking more and more into ones own delusional escape. But hey at least they seem friendly

Disappointment 🫗

Five of cups, Mars 1. Scorpio, Geburah through water

Girl if I see you coming home from school every day with tears in your eyes because your “friends” are causing an emotional crisis. THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS. This may have been an unconscious fear coming true. Maybe you didn’t know much about magic and the occult so you joined this group thinking it would be great only to cause a lot of hard lessons that didn’t really need to happen but you just kept walking and ignored all the red flags. L status rn. You lost the illusion. What you thought was true was bullshit and you are now in a emotional catastrophe. If you wanna talk just dm me kiddo u are always welcome to talk to me abt shit okay 🩵

Two of wands 🍷

Lord of dominion, Chokmah, Vehooel and Deneyal, Mars in Aries, 1°–10°

You have such a trash vibe. You and your little homies got together and said lets make each other worst forreal. If I was your ACTUAL mom I would look outside in concern clutching my pearls as you lot burned ants with magnifying glasses smh. However, a main drive is to get stronger and better which I am for and however you choose to do it I cannot judge because I was a spiteful piece of shit when I was just learning as well. However, I warn while using emotions and more primal emotions as fuel to get better do not compromise the integrity of who you are for this group it will never turn out well for ya.

Lust 🍫

Venus in leo, Chesed to Geburah, fire, Babalon, power

Usually called power in other decks this card signifies that you are REALLy into yo shit lol. Like okay Jack Parsons. I feel like since this card is very related to a primal aspect your squad mostly hangs out in the low magic category and you all just kind of fuck around and find out. Which is fine. As above so below the primal deserves as much love and the divine but maybe I would research some higher magic just to balance yourself out. I feel like you are not super satisfied with the group and you want it to be something its not but you cannot force change you can only vote w yo feet.

I know how important it is for some people to have a squad but just remember you only need yourself to practice

#suitlifeofgerm #askgerm #pick a card #daily card #pick a picture #magic #shadow work #pac #tarotoftheday #germ reads #beginner witch #baby witch #witch

[putschki1969]

ANNUAL REMINDER: Fan Club Exclusive Content ~ Please respect my wishes❗️

Many people may remember my post from April last year where I was reminding people to please respect my wishes regarding the fan club exclusive content I share on my page. By now it should be common knowledge that I do not want this particular content to be shared on others sites. In said post I called out a specific FictionJunction Latino Facebook fan page for which I received quite a bit of backlash. That’s why I made an extensive follow-up post where I clarified a few things. I STRONGLY urge everyone to read that before continuing with this post because I make some very important points on the whole issue!

Anyways, this morning I received a fascinating private message here on Tumblr by a Latino fan - the very same person (with a different username though) who vehemently condemned my call-out post back then and pretty much accused me of being a hypocrite (please refer to the reply section of that post for details).

She sent me a couple of screenshots and links, letting me know about another Latino fan page that chose to ignore my wishes by sharing their version of my translation of the YK x KEIKO SPECIAL TALK which I posted this Sunday (at least they made the effort to credit me for which I am grateful). Initially I was very confused by the intention of this individual’s message. She pretends to have the moral high-ground and acts like she cares about the reputation of these sites but in reality I had to find out that she just felt that it was "unfair” that I dared to call out that “oh so innocent” FictionJunction fan page last year for “one single mistake” but supposedly “turn a blind eye” to other sites doing the very same thing. Uhmmm, okay. This person is not only delusional for thinking that these things don’t happen all the freaking time (there are no innocents in this and there are certainly no one-time-offenders), she also apparently assumes that I have nothing better to do than browse through Facebook 24/7 to check if people are following my guidelines just to then make one call-out post after the other. That would pretty much be a full-time job, a very draining one at that. So yeah, she basically contacted me because she WANTED to stir up trouble, she WANTED me to call out that site. This is quite malicious and reflects very poorly on her character.

As for the site in question, I refuse to give in to that person’s provocation so I will not explicitly state the page’s name but I think it should be fairly easy to figure out which page I am talking about. By the way, if any of the mods of said fan page happen to read this post (I am sure you regularly visit my blog), please hear me out!

I believe that all the money and effort I invest in this blog give me the right to ask people to respect my wishes. So when I say I expect credits and that I don't want certain stuff to be shared (I have zero issues with most of my things being shared as long as I am credited) then I think that should be respected. PERIOD. Anyone and everyone can access my blog for free without even having to register so it's not like I am gatekeeping this content. It is not necessary for all these Facebook pages (including yours) to share my fan club stuff, you can literally just link to it. And please don’t start with language barriers and translations, etc. 90% of the time, these fan sites just take my long text posts, put them into Google Translate, maybe tweak one word or the other and then post them. Everyone can do that by themselves, there is no need to put the whole thing on the site.

I have said it before and I will say it again, if a Latino fan is investing hundreds of dollars and hours upon hours in scanning, editing, uploading and translating THEN they are free to post whatever they like on their page. I will not say a single word about that (although I still believe it is not a good idea to share any of this stuff on Facebook or Twitter because these sites - more so than any other SNS - are frequented by Japanese fans and officials). As things are now, I think it is no exaggeration to say that most of these fan sites are very heavily relying on my content so why is it too much to ask that you show some gratitude and accept my terms and conditions? You could at least try and ask for permission. So many fans profit from my blog in one way or another but they still have the audacity to disrespect my wishes or in some cases make stupid jokes at my expense like for example this rude person here in the comment section of the Facebook post ( ※please note that this is not from the same person who contacted me)

Update 1: This comment has been deleted on the Facebook post but I want ti keep it as an example for how I am frequently ridiculed for my behaviour. Edit 1a: Apparently the name and profile pic weren’t blurred enough for certain people so I edited the picture. I also added a clarification that this comment was not from the same person who contacted me because certain people wrongly assumed that.

Update 2: The post itself has been deleted as well. The admin of the fan page in question has reached out to me and apologised. I am very grateful for their cooperation. It’s all good now.

#kalafina #personal #rant #fan club exclusive content #over and out #it's Sarah not Sara!

[youbloodymadgenius]

Ivarello (Modern!Ivar x reader) Chapter 4

Moodboard by @quantumlocked310

Ivarello’s masterpost here

A/N: This is my entry for @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie 500 Followers Fairy Tale Challenge. It's a retelling of Cinderella. Congrats again, darling 💖

A huge thank you to @mrsalwayswrite , who's a great beta reader and an even greater cheerleader 😂

A massive thank you to @quantumlocked310 , @vikingstrash and @serasvictoria . Thank you for agreeing to collaborate and for sharing your talent with me. Your moodboards are beyond amazing 🤩

In this story, Sigurd is alive. Ragnar and Aslaug are dead, but Lagertha didn't kill her. I took a lot of liberties with the show, I hope you won't mind.

Unlike the tale, there will be no magic involved. Not everything will be realistic, however. It's a fayritale, after all!

Let me know if you want to be tagged 😊

Summary: Orphaned five years ago, Ivar and his brothers have been living with Lagertha ever since. Now 16 years old, he wants to attend Harald's traditional Midsummer party, but obstacles stand in his way.

Warnings: description of car crash; orphaned kids; Sigurd being Sigurd; OOC characters.

Words: 2877

Additional note: This is the final chapter. There'll be an epilogue, but you'll have to wait a bit because there are a lot of challenges I've signed up for and I'm way behind schedule.

Enjoy 🙂

🛡⚔️🛡

Devastated and angry at the world. That's how Ivar is feeling.

Holed up in his room since the night before, and despite Lagertha incessant requests, he doesn’t plan to come out, not now at least. Come to think of it, he might as well decide never to leave his room again.

He can't stand the idea of facing his brothers. He doesn't want to have to tell them about his failure. He doesn't want to endure Ubbe's pity and condescendence. He doesn't want to see the look of triumph on Sigurd's face. The thought makes his stomach lurch while at the same time a murderous urge creeps into his mind. No, he definitely can't see his brothers.

Surprisingly, and unlike Lagertha, his brothers have left him alone, as if sensing that entering his room would be as moving into a minefield. Only Hvitserk had taken a chance earlier, cautiously poking his head through the door. His disapproving look obvious when his eyes had taken in the scene before him, Ivar's belongings scattered on the floor, some of them smashed into pieces.

"I got you a chocolate muffin from the kitchen, baby bro," he had explained, putting it on a nearby shelf, and it had almost brought a smile to Ivar's face. To Hvitserk, there's no predicament that can't be improved with comfort food.

"Look, Ivar," scratching his neck, Hvitserk had then said, "I don't know what happened and I don't want to pressure you. You tell me when you're ready, if you are. But I'm here, okay? Whatever the time of day or night, you don't have to be alone if you don't want to. If I'm upstairs, just call me, okay?" With these words, he was gone, the door closed.

Ivar can't get the events of the previous evening out of his mind. Like a waking nightmare, they are playing over and over in his head: how he had freaked out when he heard the beeps; the confused and then so disappointed look you had given him when he sputtered his need to leave; finally, his shameful escape into the night.

What could he have done? What should he have done?

He does know the answer. He should have been more cautious. He should have checked the time, asked for your number and just walked away.

On the other hand, what difference would it have made? He would still have no future with you, right? He would still be a cripple, and you would still be... you... perfect... too good for him.

So yeah, he had run away like a coward. He lets out a bitter chuckle to himself. Run away? Who is he kidding? He hadn't run away, that would have been too easy. Cripples don't run away. Without his cane – why the fuck did he leave it behind?? – he had pathetically limped away, stumbling, his feet sinking into the sand. He had still been on the beach when the battery had died. He had had no other choice but to crawl like a worm the rest of the way, silently praying to the gods that the darkness of the night would prevent you from seeing him like this.

Tears of despair run down his cheeks for the umpteenth time. He's used to feeling humiliated, but feeling humiliated and heartbroken simultaneously is really too much to take. He feels like he's dying from the inside over and over again, cursing himself for wanting to attend the party, for wanting to see you again. He should never have let his walls down, he should never have dared to hope. What was he thinking? He may have walked, and even danced with you, but at the end of the day, he still is a pitiable cripple with stupid, crooked legs, in love with a girl way out of his league.

If he's being honest, that's what hurts the most. He now realizes how delusional he had been. Holding on to a dead dream for years, he had not forseen the painful yet unavoidable reality check. And now, it's like he's been hit by a train. Because there's no denying it, dreaming of a life with you is no longer an option, not after last night. And even though it's almost unbearable, he knows now he has to let go of you, of the idea of you and him being together. As much as this mere thought is devastating, he has no other choice. He has to stop fooling himself, for his own sanity, if nothing else.

Giving a guttural cry, much like that of a wounded animal, Ivar doesn't hear when the front doorbell rings. Not that he would have reacted even if he had heard it, too busy wallowing in self-pity.

***

"Thank you for having us here on such short notice, my dear." Your uncle states joyfully, his eyes sparkling, as Lagertha greets him with a handshake and a tight-lipped smile. Even though you don't know why, it's obvious that she's not his biggest fan.

Your uncle, who doesn't seem to notice – or doesn't care, you're not sure – keeps giving her a beaming smile. "My niece here," he turns his head toward you for a short moment, "has a weird request. She met a boy yesterday, during the party. He lost something and my sweet Y/N has been adamant since this morning that she wants to find him and personally return it to him. We were wondering," he turns his gaze in the direction of the couch, "if it could be one of your wards."

There are indeed three young men, half sprawled on the couch, who get up as one when Lagertha gives them a stern look. If you vaguely remember having seen them before, a single glance is enough for you to know that the one you're looking for is not among them.

You're on the verge of saying so but your uncle doesn't give you a chance to. "See boys," he unceremoniously grabs the cane you're holding behind your back, "here is the lost item. A cane! Fairly uncommon, if you ask me. Anyway... Does this... thing belong to any of you?"

Since you know it doesn't, you're surprised when two of the guys both take a step forward. "Actually, it's mine," they say in unison, each of them only then becoming aware that the other is speaking.

Dumbstruck, you look at one then the other successively. They've got a lot of nerve! You know they're lying, and you would have known it even if these two idiots hadn't spoken at the same time. They just look nothing like your handsome stranger – if he's a stranger.

"Sigurd, you know it's mine!"

"Don't play dumb, you never use a cane, Ubbe! Whereas me, I do sometimes. Everyone knows artists tend to be eccentric, right?"

The blondest one – Sigurd if you heard right – points his finger at a guitar leaning against the wall and then winks at you, "I'm a musician, you know?" You don't even have time to roll your eyes as the other one – Ubbe? – yells, his nostrils flaring.

"Shut up Sig, you're so full of shit! You know I've got a sprained ankle!"

"A sprained ankle, no kidding? Who did a ten-kilometer run today, huh? It's not me! So, you are the one going to shut up, you fucking douchebag!"

It's almost funny to watch them arguing back and forth. If you weren't so pissed off, you'd laugh. But right now, you're mostly mad at them. Their blatant lies make your blood boil with anger.

Are they really thinking you're a complete idiot? That you can be fooled so easily? Who do they think they are? Who do they think you are? Some stupid chick ready to fall for their good looks? If they think that, they're kidding themselves.

"You're the fucking douchebag, Sig!! Don’t forget I'm the oldest!"

"And what's the difference, huh? You can't have all the girls, Ubbe! Keep fucking Margrethe and just let me be! Stop being a controlling asshole!"

"STOP!!!! BOTH OF YOU!!!"

Lagertha's shout is deafening and if looks could kill, these two morons would be lying dead on the floor right here, right now.

"Y/N, my dear," Lagertha gives you an apologetic smile, "I'm so sorry for that. I swear they usually know how to behave, better than that at least. Guess they don't know how to handle your striking beauty. Now sweetheart, tell me, is one of these two knuckleheads the one you were with last night?"

The silence that falls on the room after her question is so complete that you could hear a pin drop. Acutely aware that all eyes are on you, you shyly lower your gaze, shaking your head slightly, as you clasp your hands over your belly. You eventually speak, your eyes meeting Lagertha's, and you can see she knows what you're going to say. "No, the guy I was with last night is not one of them."

"How can you be so sure?" Sigurd's voice is soft and tentative now, and Ubbe adds, seemingly for once in agreement with his younger brother, "yeah, how can you? It was pretty dark after all."

You give them a smile. "How can I be so sure? You mean beside the fact that you obviously don't need a cane? Neither of you?" The third brother, who still hasn't opened his mouth, chuckles, giving you a thumbs up. "Look, I appreciate your interest, I really do, but neither of you are the one I am looking for. Therefore," you look at your uncle, "we should leave, don't you think?" Checking the time on your watch, you shrug. "What about the Eyvindsson family? Didn't you tell me about three brothers? We may have time to go and see them tonight if we hurry."

Your uncle nods, handing you back the cane. "You're right, Y/N, we should leave." Taking two steps forward, he grabs Lagertha's hand. "Sorry dear, we will waste no more of your time."

You're about to thank her when one of the boys clears his throat. "Ahem..."

Turning your head, you're surprised to see the third brother, the silent one, raising his hand. "I think I might know who this cane belongs to." Frowning, he glances at his brothers. "And you both know it too."

"Shut up, Hvitserk!" Sigurd spits, clenching his hands into fists. "Don't bring the fucking cripple into the conversation."

"Sigurd! Keep your mouth shut!" Lagertha glares at him for several long seconds then her face softens as she looks at Hvitserk, placing a hand on his shoulder. "What are you trying to say, Hvitserk? Do you think this cane belongs to your baby brother?"

Hvitserk nods. "I know it does, actually."

"Come on, Hvit, you're talking nonsense. It cannot be, it just cannot. That guy was standing. It wasn't our brother. Our brother wasn't there last night." Ubbe stubbornly insists, but Hvitserk just shakes his head.

"Of course, he was. I saw him. And don't bullshit me, Ubbe, you saw him too. With Y/N." Hvitserk states. That's when you realize that your palms are sweating and your pulse is racing.

Hvitserk keeps going, now speaking to his guardian. "I know what I saw, Lagertha. It was him. I don't know how, but he was standing, Ubbe is right. He was even walking. It may sound weird but I swear, it was him."

Lagertha nods. "I believe you, Hvitserk." A beaming smile spreads across her lips and she tilts her head. "I wouldn't be surprised if Floki had something to do with such a miracle. Go get your brother, Hvitserk, please."

Your heart leaps at these words, you're barely able to contain your excitement and as you let out a nervous chuckle, you cannot help but jump for joy. Needless to say, Ubbe and Sigurd seem much less enthusiastic than you.

***

Reluctantly following his brother, Ivar mutters under his breath, "you're pissing me off, Hvit. I'm fucking not in the mood for whatever you have in mind."

Hvitserk pays him no mind though, a small smile dancing on his lips. "Trust me, baby bro, you'll be in the mood."

Ivar wants to protest, or maybe just turn around and wheel back to his room but all at once the sound of your voice reaches his ears and he stops, frozen in place, his eyes wide open. He may have stopped breathing.

Patting his shoulder reassuringly, Hvitserk whispers, "It's Y/N, baby bro, but I have a feeling you already know. She's here for you, she was looking for you, Ivar. Go..." before giving a single push to his brother's wheelchair, his right hand on the backrest.

Ivar honestly doesn't know how he manages to wheel himself into the living room. What he does know, however, is that you're suddenly standing right in front of him. The heart stopping smile you flash him blows all the air out of his lungs, his heart pounding wildly in his chest, and the outside world – Lagertha, his brothers, Harald – ceases to exist.

A little voice tells him he should be feeling self-conscious with his hair all messy and wearing worn sweatpants, but he can't bring himself to care, not when you kneel in front of him with stars in your eyes.

"Here you are, finally," you breathe, gently placing a hand on his knee. Ivar didn't know until now that one could die of happiness, but that's exactly what he's feeling and he wouldn't trade it for anything.

Swallowing, he blinks several times. When he speaks, his voice trembles, his bottom lip quivering. "Hello Y/N, you were... looking for... for me?" He has trouble getting the words out, his nervous fingers fidgeting on his lap.

Grabbing both his hands in yours, you nod, your thumbs stroking his knuckles tenderly. "I was, yes, and for a very long time."

Shyly lowering his head, Ivar, almost feeling dizzy, can't wrap his head around your words. They're just too good to be true. "But... why?"

"Why?" You giggle, your laughing eyes lighting up your face, and he's positive, you're even more beautiful like this. "Isn't it obvious? I want to know more about you, what's your favorite color, what you eat for breakfast, where you see yourself in ten years. I just want to spend time with you, Ivar."

'Ivar' You've just said his name and it's like the sweetest music to his ears. He can't believe it. Wow. "You... You recognized me?" There's so much hope and joy in his voice, he cringes.

You shrug, your smile never leaving your lips. "I wasn't sure at first. You've changed a lot." Your hand cups his cheek. The sensation on his skin is so overwhelming he has to hold back the tears threatening to gush. Yet, he can't help but think you're speaking about his legs.

He grits his teeth. "Yeah... Standing tall can change a man."

"No! no, no, no," you retort without missing a beat, "That's not what I meant. In my memory you still looked like you did when we were ten, but look at you now, all grown up! Your hair was so short back then." Reaching out, you brush a strand of hair back and tuck it behind his ear before letting your fingers run slowly down and up his bulging biceps, your hand finally lingering on his forearm, "Plus, you clearly work out a lot. So, yeah, I thought it was you, but I wasn't sure. When we were dancing last night, I thought I'd ask you right after, but then you left and... well... I didn't have a chance..."

Ivar wraps his fingers around yours, a frown creasing his forehead. "About that, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left like–"

You shush him, holding a finger to his lips. "It doesn't matter, Ivar. You don't have to explain. All that matters is that I found you." Standing up, you lean forward and gently kiss his cheek and he feels like he's floating. Intertwining his fingers with yours, you whisper in his ear, "I reckon we got some lost time to make up, you and me. Can we go stargazing now?"

Hearing this makes Ivar's insides turn to jelly. Barely able to think, he is on cloud nine and wishes with all his heart never to come back down to earth again. But despite the daze, despite the fog in his head, despite the blinding happiness, he knows one thing: no matter how many stars he sees, you'll be the brightest one.

"Yes, Y/N, you're right," bringing your hand to his mouth, he gives it a kiss, "let's go stargazing."

And as he leaves the room, you walking alongside him with your hand on his shoulder, his heart filled with joy and wonder, he doesn't miss the thumbs up Hvitserk gives him, nor the scowl on Ubbe's and Sigurd's faces.

For a fleeting second, he thinks he should – he could – taunt them. They deserve to be laughed at, don't they? But then, he realizes he doesn't have time for that. The time for happiness has come, and it's far more important.

Giving you a beaming smile, Ivar inhales deeply before releasing a sigh of satisfaction. Yeah. Happiness. Happiness sounds good.

🛡⚔️🛡

Ivar’s taglist: @waiting4inspiration @honestsycrets @lisinfleur @saldelys @gearhead66 @inforapound @readsalot73 @milkkygirls @xbellaxcarolinax @shannygoatgruff @zuxiezendler @hecohansen31 @lonewolf471 @fuckindiva @tgrrose @didiintheblog @peachyboneless @pieces-by-me @funmadnessandbadassvikings @ethereallysimple @destynelseclipsa @cocovikings23 @xceafh @mrsalwayswrite @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie @pomegranates-and-blood @jadelynlace @grimeundglow @quantumlocked310 @alexhandersen-marcoilsoe-fandom @adrille88

Ivarello's taglist: @not-another-viking-fanfic-blog @hashimily @prepare4trouble @supernaturalvikingwhore @funmadnessandbadassvikings @heavenly1927 @dini73

#ivar #modern ivar #modern!ivar #modern-ivar #modern ivar x reader #modern!ivar x reader #ivar x reader #ivar the boneless #ivar ragnarsson #ivar imagine #ivar fic #ivar fanfic #ivar fanfiction #ivar vikings #vikings ivar #cherrypie’s500 #fairytale retelling #ivarello

[equestrianwritingsstuff]

I hope you are having a great day.

I wanted to tell you that I love the way you write and how you show the personality of your characters in so few words.

Also if you have time, for the Bad Things Happend Bingo, could I ask for a Soup for the Sick? (Maybe a villain whumpee)

Thank you for the ask! And especially thank you for that lovely message attached to it, it means a lot!

Soup for the sick... here you go, I hope you enjoy! I did, I had lots of fun writing this one.

Personalized Caretaker

@badthingshappenbingo

Warnings: drug abuse mention, feverish whumpee, talk of medications, mean caretaker, delirium, fever, pills (tylenol)

... there may be more so tell me if there is so I can list them.

~

Civilian wished that she didn't live in the most heavily super-powered city in the world.

Yes world.

Villains and heroes all running around like teenagers, not caring for the lives of innocent civilians... or the heroes were meant to, Civilian started to think that the whole "we will protect you" was all phony propaganda aimed to get the city to fund their organization.

But the daily bombings and increasing death toll was not the issue with the city. It wasn't even the large mass of heroes and villains. It was only one.

One.

Of all the heroic figures and devilish snakes, there was only one that ticked Civilian off.

Villain.

And not because he was the King of Monologues. No, it was because the bastard made Civilian his own personal caretaker.

Was she asked to tend to his very needs? No.

Was she hired? Paid? No, but she should be getting a salary for the tedious work of stitching wounds and feeding his greedy stomach. The bandage bills were adding up and Civilian's meager wage was completely wiped out from having to buy a pack every day.

She was an inch away from going on a rage and robbing every bank in the city.

No, she wasn't. She just happened to live on 489 Deertree Avenue, where six months ago the murderous villain decided to collapse unconscious on her doorstep to bleed out like it was no problem.

Like it was a leisure, a recreational activity. Probably to him, waking up in a warm bed, doped up on painkillers with the sickening sweet smell of caramel candles burning around him, it was.

But not to Civilian. She had to manually help the injured individual drink water, get dressed, and even use the bathroom.

UGGGHHHH!

The man had millions of henchmen, billions of wannabe minions at his beck and call.

But he just so happened to have a crush on the red door of 489 Deertree Avenue.

But it was a bad case of unrequited love of the highest order, so no hope of a romantic candlelit date at the most expensive restaurant in the most famous city in the world.

Dairy Queen.

The pure hilarity of that fact. Even the Avenger Tower did not hold nearly as many powered or high-tech individuals as the city and the most fanciest restaurant was a chain fastfood restaurant at the corner of main street.

Civilian clenched the towel she was holding. As much as the stupidity of the city got on her nerves, it was very unpatriotic of her to go on and embarrass the area even more.

Civilian was scrubbing the mirror in the bathroom. The walls of the whole room were stained in the most disgusting brown and red from all the grime and blood radiating off a singular person's- not even the owner of the house- body.

Those would never go away unless Civilian paid for someone to come and mega-wash the bathroom. Not that she had any money to invest in such a delightful gift, her bank account was too busy supporting the prescribed pain medications. Like, Civilian was probably on the watchlist for utter bankruptcy and for being a possible candidate for drug addiction.

Who needs two whole containers of opioids and a canteen of valium every three months?

Not a normal civilian washing floors at Walmart, that's for sure.

But then again, Civilian was far from normal. She worked as a personalized savior during her freetime.

Civilian clenched her teeth and took a deep breath in. Her ward hasn't made his grand appearance in over a week. She actually had time to relax, make some popcorn and actually decompress. It was like vacation, peaceful, tranquil and full of serenity, free of any-

Knock, knock, knock.

Civilian's moment of bliss was unceremoniously ended by the all too familiar beat of a fist on wood.

"You have my permission to make out with the door Villain! You don't need to ask anymore!"

Civilian hoped Villain was coherent enough to internalize that as an invitation to bleed on her couch.

Just so she could have one more moment. One more moment of her coveted break.

Cough.

Civilian's head perked up. That was new. She never, ever heard Villain cough in a sickly manner- she never let him get bad enough to get sick, or he didn't permit himself to wait around until infection and fever set in.

She set down the towel, worry settling into her bones like it always did- not that she liked the heart dropping feelings and nauseating pit in her stomach each and everytime Mr. Needy had blood on him. Or everyday that he didn't show up for a bandaid, or a "kiss-it-better".

Yes, the pure humiliation when her delirious patient painfully begged her to kiss his knee better. Like, the puny scrape on his leg was by far the least severe wound on his bloodstained body, but of course, Civilian complied and gave him a little peck on his Olaf bandaid.

Civilian ripped open the door and the scene in front of her chased away those obnoxious memories.

Villain collapsed into her arms, head lolling pathetically against her shoulder. His forehead felt like it was doused with gasoline and then lit by a torch five times over. Civilian's shocked arms involuntarily wrapped around his equally scorching body. Yes, it was not a conscious act. Not in a million years would Civilian muster up the compassion to actually comfort the villain more than the deed of "saving his life" called for.

No, no Civilian hated Villain. Completely and totally loathed each and every cell on his body.

But she dragged him into the house and shut- more like slammed- the door anyways because she couldn't let him die, it would be like murder's sidekick.

Especially since Villain trusted her. Oh how he trusted her. Trusted her to bathe him, to feed him, to give him medicine, but most importantly not to kill him. With all the horrors he committed, a swift knife to the throat would be more than justified. In fact, Civilian would likely be commemorated for such bravery.

Public approval, fame... all a deliciously yummy cake.

Not worth it. Too many calories.

Civilian sunk to the ground and put Villain's upper body in her lap. He nestled into her, pressing his cheek deep into her side with a small, contented smile on his pale face.

"Don't drool on me," Civilian snapped, jostling Villain who woke up. Before he had the chance to get his bearings, Civilian spoke up again, "Are you hurt?"

The villain stared at her for a while before breaking into desperate tears, shaking his head.

What the heck?

"Stop crying or I will punch you," Civilian threatened, but she rubbed Villain's back soothingly.

"Dying," Villain sobbed.

"You are not dying, buddy, you have a cold."

"No, I'm dying," Villain asserted. Civilian rolled her eyes. Did he have to be so dramatic?

"I don't think a cold will kill you. Stop acting like the world is ending now, or I will throw you in the trash."

Villain whimpered and pulled himself closer, still crying.

He really was sick. So sick to the point of being delirously delusional.

"You don't need to be a Disney princess," Civilian said, still rubbing the villain's back. Villain's cries turned into sobs and then into wails.

Okay this was getting out of hand. Civilian stood up and dragged Villain's body over to the couch. She marveled in her strength for a while. When Villain first made his appearance in her otherwise boring life, she was as skinny as a twig. Now? This girl was a freaking hulk, baby.

Okay stop that, Civilian chastised herself, shaking her head and rolling her eyes. She laid Villain on the beige colored couch and rested his wet head against a pillow that was metaphorically marked with his name.

Now that the villain was completely stretched out, Civilian- to her relief- found that he was not bleeding, therefore, she didn't have to waste her precious supply of gauze and bandages tonight.

But he still was very, very sick. His face was a gray mask of pale complexion, his hair snarled and matted in sweat. His lips were tinged blue as unfocused eyes gazed around the room, landing on the TV.

"You want to watch something?" Civilian asked, though the question was more than unnecessary. Villain always watched a movie as he dozed off, warm and comforted by the mound of blankets strewn over him.

But still, like a habit, he nodded weakly each and every time. Civilian smiled, the tiniest of grins, and connected the tablet to the television. When the screen popped up with the classic Amazon Prime Video layout, Civilian asked what movie.

"Boss Baby," Villain mumbled, lips hardly moving.

"You want to watch a movie with baby superheroes? Why don't we watch Toy Story or something?"

Or something a bit more adult-ish.

"Mhm," Villain groaned, eyes slipping shut. "Baby superheroes."

Now it was Civilian's turn to groan, loud and exaggerated. But, still he was her unwelcome guest so she had to please his obnoxiously childish wants.

Like how old was he? Five?

Civilian put in the movie and sat down next to Villain, putting his legs on her lap. She tapped lazily at his jeans as the opening credits showed. Leaning her head back, Civilian allowed her gaze to drift away from the stupid fat-faced animated figures and to Villain.

He was nearly asleep.

Civilian shifted her weight and rested against her arm to watch him. Even sick, she had to admit, the evil and annoying villain was shockingly handsome.

What was she thinking?!

Pushing Villain's feet away, Civilian stood up and aggressively shoved her palm to his forehead. It was buzzing with heat.

"You are paying for the bill," Civilian growled and went to go get some tylenol.

Upon returning to the sickly man's sweaty side, Civilian thrusted the pills into his mouth and washed them down with water. She didn't even give him a chance to wake up fully, the motion was instinctual. He swallowed on reflex.

Next, Civilian cussed herself for this, she cupped his cheek. Villain sunk into her palm, chewing silently, and continued to sleep.

When Villain first visited, Civilian couldn't get over how touch starved the poor guy was. It was to the point of absolute fear of touch. He would shiver before violently flinching away, glaring daggers.

He still didn't allow hugs or a highfive when he was in his right mind- not that Civilian saw him fully conscious ever apart from a couple times.

"Hungry?" Civilian mumbled, more to herself than anyone.

Still, Civilian placed Villain's head back onto the pillow and went into the kitchen to make some soup.

Chicken noodle soup with rice... her specialty. Chicken breast and rich seasoning, even one's dampened taste buds could taste the utter deliciousness of the watery broth.

Then the rice. Sometimes when Villain was on the mend, she would add some wild rice or lentils to the dish. Spooning some basic white rice into the bottom of the bowl, Civilian tapped her foot aimlessly.

The kettle on the stove whistled, Civilian pushed it off the heat and added the seasoning and celery. The savory scent wafted into her nose earning itself a tiny smile from Civilian.

Once the soup was done, she presented it to the still sleeping villain. His mouth hung open, desperate for air that his clogged nostrils couldn't deliver.

Dang. Poor guy was really ill.

Civilian sat next to Villain, so close that she could feel the rise of his chest. She shoved his face upwards. Villain blinked his eyes open and settled his gaze on Civilian's annoyed, but worried, face.

"Ghm," he moaned, rumbled in the back of his throat in a fatigued manner. "Cow hopping."

"Shut up," Civilian scolded and helped Villain to a seating position. He complied, but had no strength left to actually hold the stance.

So Civilian was forced to lay him against her chest and feed him by giving him a big old bear hug. Spoon after spoon went to his mouth until Civilian was just dumping it into his mouth without any natural swallowing reflex.

She took a wet rag and cleaned his face before laying him back onto the couch. Civilian smiled and tenderly touched his eyebrow.

Why did she have to care about him so much?

#bad things happen bingo #villain whumpee #civilian caretaker #villain x civilian #civilian #writing #sick villain #sick whumpee #delirious whumpee

[searchingforproofsthatimwrong]

THE JAMMIEDODGER VIDEO ABOUT JK ROWLING (as recommended by a very polite anon)

so I go point by point after the cut but in short: they should read more feminist theory, they are lying, they are not as coherent as they think they are but they make some points, notably about the rapid onset gender disphoria that’ll need to check in more depth later on.Most of their sources were unfortunatly either on points I already knew or already agreed with.  Also that woman ( the “cis” one not Jammy), should really stop thinking being born a woman is somehow a privilege.

So the video starts by saying three things I agree with :

1)      Biological sex is definitely real

2)      Women’s right and girls’ right need to be protected

3)      JK Rowling is entitled to like support and write whatever she wants

 So far so good. Except it then goes on to say that TRA agree with that. Now maybe most do but at least some don’t. Don’t lie to me, Jammie Dodger.  

They then go on to misrepresent what our problem with “cis” is. Are they going to spend that entire video about trans people at destination of the non educated on that subject without ONCE defining what a trans person is? They are aren’t they ?

“TRANSPEOPLE AGREE THAT BIOLOGICAL SEX EXISTS!!” 

see earlier but given the number of people who are saying “sex is a social construct” and “sex is a spectrum” and “a neovagina is just like a vagina”, you may at least put a “most” in your statement here. Anyway this is not the problem we have, we wouldn’t even discuss this if it weren’t for the brain dead morons who argue with us about it.

“my biological sex -the one I was assigned at birth- was female” 

is Jammie here telling me he knows biology exists but his sex WAS female ? It still IS female. You’re a female. Moreover you cannot say I know biology exists and I was assigned a sex. The entire “assigned sex” is a refutal of biology by implying doctors choose a sex for you. This is stupid.

Strawman. They are saying radfems have no argument against “gender identity is a real thing”. The lies. Gender identity is not a real thing it’s just gender stereotypes and gender is a tool of oppression for women, it’s sexist garbage. I also notice they don’t define gender identity, this is starting to be a pattern, this video is aimed to normies but the only thing they defined so far is terf.

They did 5 fucking minutes on “transpeople know that biological sex exists” I am already exhausted.

Oh my bad they defined “gender identity” as “the gender you know you are”. THANKS A BUNCH THIS IS SO HELPFUL . Define gender please I beg of you.  

“They know they are a man but their bodies don’t match” 

okay so you agree that man and woman are words that depends on your body right? Since it can “match”, they are not gender then ? Nevermind he then says that man is their gender identity. This is not making sense.

Ooooooh the floating head analogy never heard that one before, this is a stupid one because gendies also argue that their gender is innate (unless Jammie here specifically says he doesn’t think that I’ll act as if he agrees with that statement) so the good question would be if you were born as a floating head and never even had a body would you still be a woman? And my answer here as well as plenty of people I suspect is “men and women don’t make sense if we’re born as floating heads what are you on about?”

“transwomen needs women’s right too” 

I know you think that is self evident but I’ll ask what exactly are the women’s right transwomen need. Abortion? Affordable periods product ? The right to have places free of male? oh wait. They are male so they can never have that can they ?

“so feminism also needs to believe in gender identity”

 because if we don’t our feminism is only for females and we exclude males. Notice how they didn’t continue their logic by saying how THIS feminism excludes transmen and nonbinary? Because it does, but guess who actually need the women’s right of abortion for exemple?

“transmen don’t need women’s rights” 

I FUCKING CANNOT YOU STILL NEED IT WTF ARE YOU ON ABOUT. OK I need them to define women’s right asap

“well JK Rowling said she supports trans rights”

 funny how you can understand how those words are not a proof that she in fact does but you still started your video by “we support women’s rights !!!”

“adding [to Harry Potter] content that was LGBT+ friendly” 

she added things that were gay friendly. I don’t remember her adding trans characters.

“transphobic” = saying men can’t become women. Whoah. The hatred.

“the lack of belief [in gender identity] is what she wants protected”

 yes and ? Atheism, the lack of belief in a god, is protected. Gender identity existence only proof is some people saying it does exists, it is not a scientific reality in any way shape or form.

“His biological sex was previously female” 

BUT WE KNOW WHAT BIOLOGICAL SEX IS WE SWEAR; Damn they spend 7 minutes on “transpeople know biological sex exists” and then keep acting like they fucking don’t.

After that they point blank say that gender identity is more important than sex, having someone who passes as an exemple. What about transpeople who don’t pass? How much you bet this will never be discussed in this video.

Anyway they follow that with that : 

Which is true but defining what a woman is does affect women actually (I know weird right)  so it’s completely irrelevant to the discussion here.

“When a large group of transpeople are telling you something is wrong please listen to them”

 please afford women the same courtesy. We are a large group of women saying males are not the fucking authority on what womanhood is but we are told to shut up. Listen.

“we cannot take the behavior of the minority [online abuse] and group it onto the majority” 

I agree with that statement but the majority still didn’t condemn the abuse. Honestly the people in this video did -just before saying HOWEVER but hey – but it is pretty rare to see TRA actually confronting the people who abused JK Rowling online, they cheered them on more than anything.

It is very telling how they spend more time in this video saying people collecting screenshots of the abuse JK Rowling suffered were “not cool” than the TRA giving them a bad name by actually abusing JK Rowling. They even say Jammy was also insulted online so TERF and TRA are as bad as each other right ?? Being called delusional or idiot is not the same as death threats sorry Jammy. (I doubt the “freak” one was from a terf tbh but even then, this is not even comparable) I mean didn’t you get at least one person saying they were going to kill you ? Because I did, and I have ,like, 200 followers. I find very weird that the woman here said “I received sexual assaults threats and this is as a cis woman!” as if women weren’t the primary target of sexual assaults threats. Yeah it’s the misogyny. What’s new.  You really should stop thinking you are somehow priviledged even when you are being sexually threatened ffs. What gender ideology does to a mf.

 “neither of these sides are innocent” 

oh come on, you cannot possibly means that the men who gave you sexual threats were terfs, this is ridiculous, you are just trying to excuse and diminish what people did to JK as per fucking usual.

 “persistent low level harassment” 

it hasn’t stayed low level tho. Stop trying to say you and JK are receiving the same abuse it’s embarrassing.

JK Rowling’s essay having real life effects on policies for exemple has an element of thruth ,even tho we disagree on wether or not this can be a good thing but your are deluding yourself if you think people assaulting transpeople are the sort of people whose views are in any way influenced by feminists. This is laughable. Also please stop with the guilt tripping, we are not responsible of the mental health of transpeople, we are not their therapists, sorry.

I love how they implied that the guy who forced GNC kids to behave as their assigned gender would somehow give a letter of thanks to a feminist. This is implying “terfs” want the same things as this maniac which is just a straight up lie, terfs absolutely adore GNC people and are mostly GNC themselves.

“What rights of women are actually being eroded by the inclusion of transwomen ?” I am glad you asked !! Well apart from the freedom of speech since “terfs” are losing their jobs and being deplatformed because of this, we have the inherent dangers of replacing sex by gender in what the law protects : https://www.aclu.org/blog/speakeasy/firing-mom-because-shes-breastfeeding-sex-discrimination this is a link to a story about a woman who was said being fired for breastfeeding was not sex discrimination because men can lactate. Do you see the problem ? Moreover there is quotas for women in politics etc….Women fought for their quotas and now males can have them, who do you think an employer would prefer someone who probably will be pregnant at one point or someone who never will ? and let’s not forget the right for women to have women only places :Women in prison are raped by the trans identified males in it .

“I cannot think of a single right that is removed from me”

 good for you maybe you should have actually researched radfems talking point before doing this video ? Your ignorance is not a good argument.  

“transwomen can use the women changing room because they are women” 

you keep saying that but apart from “they feel like women” you didn’t explain how they are women. This is the basis of this entire video and you never explained.  Also allowing any person who say they are women into the women’s changing room does not only allow transwomen does it ? It also allows lying freaks.

“You can protect cis women’s rights and transrights simulteanously” HOWWWWWWWWWWW, please tell me how to keep female only spaces (women’s right) while saying TWAW (transrights apparently according to them).

“transwomen can be the victims and cis women can do the voyeurism” 

true but did you forget we actually live in the real world and in that one males are much more likely to be sexually harassing people than women ? It is a brazen form of lying to tell women that since theoretically other women can also be creeps they don’t have to worry about males. Get a grip. Live in the real world for a change.

“It doesn’t reference transwomen but men pretending to be women” 

apart from “they feel it” you still haven’t told us what the difference is. You are aware nothing from an outside perspective distinguishes the two right ??

“there is no evidence of men pretending to be trans to enter female only spaces” and how would you know they are pretending ? This is the same problem again and again, if you define transwomen as men who feel like women then there is absolutely no way of verifying someone really is trans. And that’s a lie anyway since we do actually have proof of that happening?? There was that video making the room on radblr a while ago of a clear male pissing in the women’s bathroom saying (lying) that he was trans.

Yeah actually radical feminists would accept transmen in their bathrooms, but it’s not an easy question with an easy answer to know how to check they really are transmen. Although notice how they are again only talking about transpeople that passes ? I would feel safer with Jammy in my toilets than Hannah Mouncey for exemple :

  That is so obvioulsy a man in a dress.

“ If a transman with a beard and penis and balls can go into a women’s toilet and that is deemed okay because of his biological sex what is to stop a cis man from doing the same”

 I am sorry but are you saying a transwoman cannot have a beard and penis and balls ?????????? This is incredibly transphobic of you, you said that gender identity Is just feeling like a gender, how exactly does that mean transwomen cannot have beard ? If you want to know, radfem are arguing for a third toilet for transpeople, that’s our solution. What is yours ?

 Ok the next part is racist I’ll skip that thanks

On accusation of TERFery intimidating people and organizations “we haven’t seen these” again, your ignorance is not an argument, I am posting these on Tumblr where cryptoterfs arer numerous. Why do you think that is ?

Are they seriously saying Nike and addidas “accepted” transpeople because they “realized it was the right thing to do” ?????? Those companies employs slaves IN WHAT WORLD DO YOU LIVE IN??

“trying to make transpeople look crazy” 

the clownfish things were said online by real transpeople. We don’t need to invent thing to make transpeople look crazy, if there is  large enough group some people belonging in that group will say stupid shit .

“We support these rights”

 when speaking about women victims of abuse. This is a lie, the Vancouver rape shelter relief is often targeted by transactivists, recently a gofundme for it was cancelled because of transactivists, they are quite litteraly stealing money from raped women. This is not a small, inconsequential part of transactivism. 

“The trans-inclusionist views expand the meaning of women to include transwomen”

 It doesn’t expend shit actually since it excludes transmen and non-binary. If anything it reduces it.

They go on to say that transwomen deserves protection as women because of their murder rate. It doesn’t explain how being seen as women will help them here and anyway it’s a bold lie considering their murder rate is actually quite low. They also fail to consider how depriving transmen and nonbinaries of those same women’s right might be a problem.

Again they make the distinction between transwomen and men pretending to be transwomen without a way to identify which is which. This is starting to get repetitive and tedious. The problem is not that all transwomen are predators is that there is no way to see a difference until the predators acts, until a woman gets hurt, so accepting transwomen is accepting predators and saying transwomen feelings are more important that the women being hurt because of this. I disagree. The tiny tiny percentage of transpeople doing bad things is actually the same percentage as men doing bad things. If your argument could be used to say women only spaces shouldn’t exist at all because not all men are dangerous maybe you should reconsider your argument because I will not reconsider women’s right to have female only spaces.

“If you push transwomen out of female only spaces you push transmen in”

 Yes. I don’t even see where the problem is here.  Now why don’t we analyse the fact that if you push transwomen into female only spaces you push transmen out of them ? I don’t think transmen belongs in men’s prisons, do you ?

“Transpeople don’t dispute biology and don’t impact how female only diseases are treated” 

eat shit. They do impact this, every woman trying to say “female biology” get shit thrown at her faster than you can blink, stop lying to me Jammy. Do you think I would get called a bleeder, a fetus carrier, a motherfucking birthing body if transactivism wasn’t trying to erase sex ? Don’t you think the sentence “men can have periods” is not eroding biology ? Fuck off

Back to JK, Jammy is saying her disabling comment on her blog was not conductive to a conversation, I have to salute the straight face he says it with because do you really think a nice educated conversation would have taken place on JK Rowling’s essay ? They flooded her children’s book tag with porn for fuck sake.

“Thre is no explosion in young women who wishes to transition” sources ? Because it does seem to be true :https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/jsm.12817

“the detransitionners rate is actually really low” hard to know but most people who transitioned did it not so long ago since transgender is a recent trend, we will have to wait and see to have a more robust number. But maybe they are right on that one, this is not going to be the one argument that changes my views unfortunately. 

“Does that mean we should stop people from getting plastic surgery then ?” 

lol you don’t know the radfem stance on plastic surgery do you ?

“There is more significant transphobia than homophobia” 

sources ? Because transition is used as converstion therapy in Iran so it is at least untrue in one country. 

“If transmen transition to escape womanhood why is there transwomen ?” 

You really didn’t research this did you ? the radfem answer is that transwomen are either gay men who have gender disphoria OR AGP (autogynephiles) read this if you want to learn more about it: https://grahamlinehan.substack.com/p/the-elephant-in-the-room

“why would people who have male privileges choose to give that up” 

you are assuming they lose their male privileges but I will need sources on that because most transwomen do not pass and are treated more as special men than as women.

“We have already shown you that transphobia is far more rife and damaging than homophobia” 

did I miss that part ? When ? You just said that ? Without backing it up ?

“anti trans narratives constantly contradict itself” 

No we do not, we are feminist so we OF COURSE we analyse men and women differently, this is an issue of gender which radical feminism posit as an hierarchy, trying to explain transwomen and transmen with the same arguments is doomed to fail because they were not equal in their relation to gender to begin with. Do you think black people trying to pass as white do it for the same reasons white people try to have more black features ? Of course not.

“What am I a lesbian or a homophobe ?”

 You are both, you are a lesbian in denial with a deep case of internalized misogyny and homophobia. You know yo can be both sexist and a woman right ? Well it’s the same here.

I heard “Simone de Beauvoir” and I knew they were going to be really fucking stupid with that “One is not born a woman but rather becomes a woman” quote and THERE IT IS! Please read the book. She is not saying male can become women if they try hard enough, she is saying basically the same thing JK Rowling’s quote said which is that “womanhood” as it is forced on women is alien and not natural and the point is that we should not accept it, it’s a feminist quote on femininity and I am so sick of men using it to say that they are women.

Transactivists acting as if sex recognition patterns don’t exists is exhausting so I won’t comment on “nobody checks if you have XX chromosomes before passing you over for a promotion” other than to say : passing over for promotions happens a lot when women are pregnant and after giving birth stop acting as if misogyny is unrelated to our reproduction capacities it is fucking insulting.

“transwomen will support [fights against tampon tax and FGM] too” 

FGM was a bad choice here considering transactivists tried to stop a bill against FGM .  I will need sources here actually since I never seen a transwoman fighting for women’s right in my life.

Ok I let a lot passes here because I’m tired but we are 48:40 in the video and fuck you “intersectional feminism” is not about males. It was for black women. It is not reductionist to say women are people with a vagina, this is just a definition, and one that applies to 50% of the population at that, there is litteraly no definition of woman that includes more people than that.

Imagine thinking “women are people with vagina” is reductionist but not calling women “vulva owners”. Please , I am begging for coherence.

“transwomen who experience greater abuse than cisgender women will ever experience” . 

This is revolting. I don’t have any other words. I am glad this is the end of the video because I would have stopped immediately if this was at the start. What abuse transwomen can experience than ciswomen cannot ? Because I would have thought forced pregnancy was horrific but maybe this doesn’t compare to being misgendered?

“most people are comfortable with transwomen going into women’s bathrooms” https://www.bsa.natcen.ac.uk/media/39147/bsa34_moral_issues_final.pdf

It says 13% of women are at least uncomfortable with sharing bathroom with transwomen, why are we ignoring their wishes? Because 0.1% of the population wants to ?  Whatever, the really interesting thing in this study is that for this question they defined “transwomen” as someone who has gone through all the steps to become a woman aka someone with surgery. I find extremely misleading that this is used for bathroom bills which defines transwomen as male identifying as women. Do you think the numbers would be the same if they specified the transwoman in question still has a penis ? Which is the case for most transwomen btw?

#anon #jammiedodgers #transgender #op is a terf #this took wayyy to long don't read this

[buttercup-of-kaer-morhen]

Hello yes I am Completely Anonymous ONCE AGAIN and I have a prompt for you! Temporary (perhaps potion or drug induced?) Amnesiac!Geralt being absolutely floored and delighted that Jaskier is his lover. Please and thank you.

Hey completely anon,

I may or may not have gone a little off script for this prompt and really wanted to write more for my dumb magical college AU. Hope you enjoy it anyway. May I present!

Magic and Exams: Amnesia

Main tags: college AU, it’s modern but with magic slapped in, Jaskier and Yenn are besties (Fight me), Lambert/Aiden kinda?, Non human Jaskier,  And they were roommates~, pure fluff, pre relationship, pining… Kinda, unbetaed, we die like Renfri

——

It was official! Fate was cruel and destiny hated him. Jaskier had been fine with how life had been going. Classes were good. Friends were great. And, you know, he had finally stepped into a tentative friendship territory with his hot roomie rather than that weird close relationship you develop with your roomie. Things were just grand!-- Ignore the fact that he had a monster crush on said roomie, not important!-- What was important was that Lambert, the ass, suddenly showed up on Jaskier’s free day-- a day he was dedicating to his reading and composing, bouncing around his hobbies as he pleased-- with a semi confused looking Geralt. The witcher had barged into the dorm room towing Geralt along as Aiden brought up the rear. Now, he was going to ignore this intrusion at first but Lamby seemed to have other ideas. He loudly proclaimed to the bewildered white wolf that this was his room and, oh look, his partner. “Go ham bro!” To which, Geralt’s gaze snapped to Jaskier and proceeded to silently stare at the musician in contemplation.

Jaskier, as one would imagine, was stunned as his brain tried to understand what was happening but the dickhead explained no further as he turned to leave. Having none of it, Jaskier quickly stumbled to his feet and bolted for the two retreating figures, almost tripping several times on the shit covering the floor-- he really needed to remember to clean one of these just as Geralt had nagged him to do days ago! He managed to get a hand on the other wolf before he fully got out the door. “Explain. Now.” He demanded, his voice warbling as his eyes darkened slightly. 

“Woah shrimp!Calm your tits, you’re starting to look a little red around the gills-- Seriously though, a little siren is beginning to show.” Lambert tried to make light of the situation-- fish puns again, really Lambert?-- even though his smile gained a touch of nervousness as Jaskier tightened his grip. He held back his claws for the moment but he was this close to having a truly marvelous freak out on the man if he didn’t start giving answers. 

“Calm down angelfish, Lambert’s just being a prick as per usual.” Aiden cut off anything Lambert was going to say. Lambert gasped in betrayal as he gave the third witcher a look that probably tried to convey how much he was wounded, he couldn’t really see though nor did he really care right now. “Situation is, we were having a class trip across campus, something monster related that our proff was gushing the fuck over and insisted we needed to see. Waaaay too excited over it if you ask me but while we were passing a class of freshies in an outdoor charms 101 class, this one chick starts going off at--” Aiden explained but really, it seemed more like he was slowly getting off topic as he spoke. 

“Kitty, Get. To. The. Point.” He insisted slowly punctuating each word, while frowning in annoyance.

“Rude. I am! Anyway, this girl gets into a row with this guy in her class and fires off some kind of spell which was deflected but hilariously it ricocheted right towards us.” That was not hilarious in anyway but rather terrifying but Jaskier refrained from pointing this out. “You know Geralt though, life loves to fuck with him, so he gets hit straight in the back with it and Poof! He can’t remember some shit now. We think he only remembers up to starting college but nothing after.” Aiden finally finishes with a proud smile at having riveted the musician with his tale of adventure but it diminishes slightly in the face of Jaskier’s baffled expression. The half-siren really was quite proud of it, it just conveyed the right amount of Are you fucking idiots or did you just lose your brain on the way over!?

Jaskier took a deep breath and calmed himself before flatly staring both in the eye, his fingers steepled in front of his mouth as he thought of how to respond. “And why, pray tell, did you bring my accidentally spelled roommate to me rather than sending him to infirm?” He asked, deceptively sweet with a razor’s edge to it. 

Lambert scoffed. “He was being fucking annoying--” His words were abruptly cut off by Aiden’s hand roughly smacking over his mouth. 

“What he means is…” Aiden growled, glaring at the wolf to make sure he kept his mouth shut, to which Lambert huffed and flipped him off but otherwise remained silent. “Geralt kept prodding us ‘bout going to see his partner and, well, you were like the only one we could think of since everyone else has someone and this idiot is single like you.” The man punctuated his simplistic logic with a small shrug. 

Jaskier took a deep breath through his nose. “Uh-huh… This is a terrible fucking idea--” Before he could finish what he wanted to say, Lambert suddenly yanked his self free of his grip and threw Aiden over his shoulder.

“Your problem now bard!” He called over his shoulder as he booked it down the hall, cackling like the bastard he was. 

“Oh nonononono! Get the fuck back here!” He called after fruitlessly. They were already long gone. 

Jaskier sighed as he turned and closed the door to their room. Geralt seemed to have ignored and blocked out the whole exchange. Whether out of courtesy for Jaskier privacy or in favor of refamiliarizing himself with their space, he’d never know nor did he really care. When he finally turned his gaze back onto Jaskier, he just stared while scowling intensely in thought. It was rather insulting if Jaskier was being frank. With a roll of the eyes, the musician realized he’d just have to roll with whatever the idiots told Geralt about their “relationship” but wanted to head off the coming disappointment from the witcher. Jaskier was obviously not what he had been expecting, especially since normally the man barely tolerated him much less ever tried to invite him out, but it would sting less if he were the one to address it rather than the larger man stating it. At least that’s what he told himself. “Ok, alright. I know I’m not what you were expecting and rather disappointing compared to some of your past dalliances but please, let’s just get you to infirm. Once you have  your head back on right, everything will make more sense about the whole us thing and we can just forget about this whole embarrass--”

“You’re so handsome…” Geralt’s awed words cut Jaskier’s rambling off at the knees and had him blinking in surprise. “Or cute. No, both… How do you manage to be both?!” Geralt’s marveling had Jaskier at a loss for words. The witcher had never once complimented him in all the time they had lived together. Barbed jabs? Yes. Playful teasing? Very Often. Statements of facts? Definitely. But actual full on compliments? Nope! No, never happened. Was this how he actually saw the musician or was this some hokey hocus pocus side effect?! Or the man was dying as they spoke and was out of his mind. Either way Jaskier snapped his mouth closed, no it had not been hanging open thank you very much, and tried to get his brain to work again. 

“Wai-What?” Smooth Jaskier. His flabbergasted tone and excessive blinking seemed to not queue in Geralt however. 

“Man, I really lucked out. How’d I get a catch like you to even look my way? Wish I could remember how…” The normally stoic individual whistled long and low as he gave Jaskier a once over. A once over! Like Jaskier was a hottie from a club-- or however Ren said it-- instead of some music nerd overloaded with college minors! Jaskier was so astonished and caught off guard that he bagan sputtering incoherently, much to the Witcher’s amusement apparently if the wolfish grin was anything to go by. He was shocked and scandalized! Delighted but absolutely shocked! He had never witnessed this side of his roommate. Instead of addressing whatever was happening here, Jaskier stumbled over to his phone on the bed and quickly dialed Yennefer. 

It rang twice before he heard the familiar click of her answering and began nearly shouting before she could give her usual passive aggressive hello. “Yenn! I need help--”

“Whoa, calm the fuck down Jask, what the hell happened?!” Her worried demands cut him off. It was rather heartwarming to know his best friend sounded ready to draw blood for him. He could coo and awe about that later though!

“I’m fine but Geralt got hit with some hoodoo amnesia magic but I think it’s really just killing him! He’s acting delusional Yenn! He called me cute-- Stop laughing! This is serious!” He attempted to explain what was going on but his witch cut him off with her hysterical laughing on the other end of the line. Rude, by the way. This was a very serious matter.

“Sorry Dandy, you just, whew, gave me the best pick me up, I could have asked for. You really got me.” Yenn attempted to speak after most of it calmed down but a few giggles still managed to slip out. 

“Yenn… I’m serious. He actually doesn--” He was cut off yet again. People really needed to cut that shit out. 

“Lemme guess, Lambert is somehow involved?” She questioned, finally taking him a little more seriously, and he could practically hear her eye roll at the mischief maker’s name. 

“Yes…” He confirmed slowly as his eye wandered to Geralt again as his panic died down slightly. The white haired man looked very confused as Jaskier tried to smile reassuringly but it probably came off as unsure at best. 

The larger man came closer and placed warm large hands on his biceps as he looked intently into Jaskier’s eyes. “I mean it… I’m sorry if I never told you, I guess I was a pretty shitty boyfriend if I never told you how wonderful and caring you seem to be.” The other man apologized, as he looked away in shame. The words had the musician’s heart going wild as Yenn continued to talk in his ear. He really couldn’t hear her over his heart beating in his ears but it sounded like a demand to get Geralt to the infirmary. 

To which Jaskier answered, “That’s nice dear. I think I have to go to infirm now because I believe my heart is about to give out.” His voice was sighed out in shock as he hung up on Yenn’s sudden worried screeching.  Geralt on the other hand suddenly looked panicked and rather worried. 

“What?” He questioned as he started to look over his “boyfriend”. “Don’t worry Jask, I’ll get you there. Just hang on.” Geralt tried to reassure him, his voice was handsome with how rough and rumbling it suddenly was, as he scooped the smaller man up into his arms like a bride. No, Jaskier did not swoon he’ll have you know! The wolf then booked it out of the room. “Damn it! I wish Roach were here…” He muttered in a growl and Jaskier thanked the heavens that the man did not remember his horse-- cat? Was in their room sleeping. There would be plenty of rumors after this but it especially would have gone down in infamy if the Witcher had rode like the wind across campus on horseback again. Jaskier couldn’t do much at that point except lay back, accept his fate, and enjoy the other’s cooing, about taking care of his boyfriend or how good Jaskier was, while it lasted. But hey, at least he’d finally get Geralt to infirm.

#Witcher #witcher netflix #Geraskier #fanfic #geralt x jaskier #gerlion #non human jaskier #college au #Lambert #Aiden #lambert/aiden #yennefer #Jaskier and Yennefer besties #Buttercup's writings

[seokiloquy]

Mind Boggling Pt 1 - Miya Atsumu

Soulmate AU: At particular times (Once a year/ certain age/ hours/ or randomly) soulmates swap bodies for some time. (Specifics vary from story to story but I love this au wholeheartedly)

Requested

Word Count: 2k

Pt 1 | Pt 2

The rules were set for soulmates, whether they happen to have a tattoo, be colourblind, or even have wings or tails sprouting out of their bodies, rules were set. So why the hell were you so terrified? Though your soulmate quirk was a little hard to distinguish at a young age because of its nature, it was easily identified once you got a little older.

Body swap, where after a person turns 17 their mind is transferred to their soulmates for some time at any time. Though the combinations can vary from person to person, swapping only ever happens after a person turns 17. Should a soulmate happen to be below the age of 17 while the other is of age or above, the older will not have full control of the other’s actions and the younger will not be aware of the older’s presence, this only lasts momentarily before they are returned to their own body. In some cases, nothing happens until the youngest is of age as well.

Now, why were you scared? Well, when your birthday happens to be at the end of the year, the possibility of your soulmate seeing you do things you didn’t want them to, becomes increasingly high. All your friends were having fun drawing on their arms to communicate, or fiddling with their assigned jewellery (because they didn’t have a physical manifestation). You, on the other hand, sat at the side of the classroom, staring out the window to the falling snow outside trying to prevent yourself from doing anything embarrassing until the time came for you to turn 17.

Hitomi, one of your friends, sat on the desk behind your seat and played with your hair. In your mind, she got a lucky match in comparison to most. On her inner wrist was the full name of her soulmate. Whenever you complained about your quirk she would smack your shoulder saying something about she wished could live in someone else’s body for a day.

“So, are you going to decorate your room?” Hitomi asked as her nails picked at a pesky knot at the ends of your hair.

You laughed, “Ya right. I may be worried about the swap thing, but changing how my room looks isn’t going to be worth the effort.”

Finally clearing the tangled mess, Hitomi leaned back with a sigh.

“Are you at least going to write something? So they can know a bit about you?”

You fiddled with the pencil in your hand, spinning it between your fingers. You shook your head. The chances of things going the way you wanted were so low that eventually, you gave up trying to make them go your way. One of your fingers flicked too fast, shooting the pencil across the room.

“Even if I wanted to, I just lost my pencil.”

“Karma.”

“How the hell is that karma?”

“I don’t know, ask Karma.”

You sighed, letting your head fall into your hands that began to massage the skin along your hairline. These next few days were going to be rough.

You had always conjured up a story of how your first swap would go. Something like waking up in their bed one morning on a Sunday with all of their things being laid out in a way that made it easy for you to learn about them. Maybe, they’d have a letter on their desk or taped to a mirror for you to read.

Nope. Why would life take it easy on you of all people?

You fell asleep in class, which admittedly was your fault for going to bed so late. Even though the teacher wasn’t engaging enough to keep your attention on her for more than a few seconds at a time. But by the end of the period, your classmates would wake you up for lunch, no problem. At least that’s what you had thought when you closed your eyes.

That’s what you expected, but when you opened your eyes to loud cheering and high pitched squeaking you were more than a little confused.

First of all, it was extremely bright. Too bright. You thought your eyes were closed before. But now, as they squinted to adjust to the light, they were so tightly glued together that it hurt your nose. Next, it was loud. Much louder than your second-year beginner English class where the teacher insisted that no one spoke, and acted upon that rule. Lastly, you were standing in front of an open mesh wall with two glaring eyes drilling into your forehead.

You staggered back, pulling your hands up to your chest. It was then you noticed how tall you were standing, and how your centre of gravity was way off. Your body also felt bulkier, like your normal skin had expanded to a place it hasn’t been before. A hand landed on your shoulder.

“Nice set, Tsumu.”

“Huh?” behind you was a boy, standing eye level with you with hair that had been bleached to a mousey brown, almost silver colour. His eyes were open but tired, making the rich brown colour seem dull. You felt attached to him immediately. Even with his somewhat silent demeanour, the boy seemed welcoming. He was panting and sweating. Realizing this, you could feel the sweat roll down the side of your face.

The boy tilted his head, “You’re a little out of touch, did those freaks scare you?”

You looked to where the boy pointed, the copper top and his black-haired friend were still glaring at you.

“Why? Why are they glaring at me?” you fiddled with your now noticeably larger hands, now staring at their size and red blotchy colour.

“You okay, Atsumu?”

Another boy walked up to your side. His hair was parted in the center, framing his face that held an expression of general disinterest and exhaustion. He had an air of confidence surrounding him, even if it didn’t show through his slouched back, and his dark eyes seemed too analytical for any lazy person.

“Who?”

“Osamu, get the coach.”

The first boy nodded, waving over to the side where two men sat, watching. The addressed man called the ref, who stood atop a sort of podium next to the large net. The man blew his whistle and you were quickly ushered off in the coaches’ direction. As the head coach continued to watch the game progress the assistant coach with choppy black hair guided you to sit down.

Your knees pushed together tightly. Rather uncomfortably really, you let your legs relax when you noticed this. Your hands continued to fidget, picking under the nails as you watched the sport continue before you. Volleyball, you concluded, how you didn’t notice earlier was beyond you but it was likely the gravity of the situation you were in distracting you.

“You okay Atsumu?” the man asked, taking the seat next to you.

Your brow furrowed and your head tilted.

“Ya, here’s the thing, who’s Atsumu?”

Just as the man was about to speak, the scenery changed. Everything melted into new shapes, never really looking like something that didn’t exist but never being a fully-fledged object until everything froze back into place. Hitomi glared down at you.

“What an asshole,” she scoffed.

“Well, thanks I guess?”

Hitomi scoffed and glared in your direction before starting to pace around. You looked around the classroom. It was empty, lunch probably started a few minutes ago. Hitomi spoke, brushing a hand through her hair, but didn’t stop walking.

“Your soulmate’s an ass.”

You tilted your head with a nod, “Did you at least give him my name?”

The girl stopped walking and looked away from you.

“It didn’t come up. Not that he seemed all that interested anyway.”

“Not surprised,” you said, pressing your finger into your wrist. Your pulse was up. “He was in the middle of a volleyball match.”

“Please tell me he’s at least muscular.”

You sighed and slouched in your chair. Turning a bit to look outside at the gently falling snow again. You paused.

“Ya, he is.”

This happened a few more times, always at the most inconvenient, and you both overtime got to learn about each other through your pears. You found out that the first person you had met was Atsumu’s twin, although their personalities were different according to their teammates. Atsumu managed to open your phone and find a few of your photos and put in his number. These swaps happened often. Often enough that your friends could tell who was who before either of you spoke.

Whenever you happened to show up during practice, Atsumu’s teammates would help you learn the sport. It came relatively easy to you thanks to Atsumu’s muscle memory and build, but from the team’s perspective, it was more of a humorous game as they watched their talented teammate stumble around and make mistakes that he normally wouldn’t.

It was like this for a while. Until you found out your team was participating in the Hyogo Interhigh Preliminaries. You signed your and Hitomi’s names up to support your team at the tournament.

“Shouldn’t you be cheering for your boyfriend’s team?” Hitomi teased, elbowing you in the ribs.

“I will when they have a game going on.”

Despite having never talked in person over the past couple of months, the two of you did talk regularly after Atsumu put his number on your phone. You had a plan for how the day would go. First, you would watch and cheer on your school’s team. Then, once you got the chance, you’d sneak off to see the Inarizaki boys play. By the end of the game, that they hopefully win, you would run down onto the pitch and hug him.

You were delusional and you knew it.

Inarizaki’s supporting band was intense and manipulative. You had gotten to the game a little late, running from your school’s game that just wrapped up. You walked down the steps of the stands to stand next to two girls that leaned against the bannister. Despite not knowing the school’s cheerleading practices, you did your best to follow along. Up until Atsumu was up to serve.

His eyes were the same as Osamu’s, staring intently at the team across from him that shook from leg fatigue. Sweat had managed to get into his hair, making it look a bit greasy. And blood had rushed into his arms, making his veins more prominent, even from a distance.

You cheered with the girls next to you just as the band went silent. Atsumu glared up in your direction. You froze watching as he turned his attention back towards the net and served, leading to their point and win. As the band around you cheered you grumbled, crossing your arms.

“Jeez, you are an asshole, huh?” you mumbled, turning to walk back up the stairs to find Hitomi.

You had hoped to leave the tournament that day without interacting with your soulmate.

“Here again? Seriously?” in front of you was Osamu who chuckled at the sound of his brother whining.

“Hey, (Y/N). We won,” he said, raising his hands in the air slightly.

You crossed your arms, “I know. I’m here.”

Pointing up at the stands where your body was now spinning around to see where they were. You continued to talk with an annoyed tone.

“And right about now Atsumu is going to realize that he gave me a death glare not a moment ago.”

Osamu started to laugh louder, watching his brother, in your body, begin to grip your hair and squat in panic as if he wasn’t wearing a skirt.

“He’s an idiot sometimes, please be patient.”

You nodded, “I know. I’m just waiting for him to make eye contact.”

He did, and he winced, sending a meek wave in your direction. You pinched your lips together in a sarcastic smile and raised your brows. Lifting your hand, you sent a single wave in his direction.

“You’re going to punch yourself aren’t you?” Osamu asked as you both started to walk off the gym and out of view of Atsumu’s frightened stare.

You cracked the knuckles of Atsumu’s hand.

“You bet.”

There’s a part two. -Bacon

Posted: 02/07/2020

#haikyuu x reader #miya atsumu #atsumu x reader #Haikyuu #x reader #oneshot #oneshots #haikyuu oneshots #haikyuu reader insert #reader insert #aus #haikyuu aus #fluff #haikyu #anime x reader #anime #manga x reader #manga

[acciomalfoy]

Oblivious (Eddie Kaspbrak x reader)

"Hi. How are you? It's uh, it's been a while." It had been four weeks, which in hindsight was way too long to be apart from Eddie.

"I'm good. She's getting better, slowly." Your grandmother had been on deaths doorstep a little over a month ago. She had been the glue holding the family together for the past ten years, and the entire extended family had shown up at the hospital. It had been over seven years since some aunts and uncles had seen you, and you failed to remember almost all of their names.

"That's good. Um, I wrote notes for you. In each lesson, since we're in all the same classes and I thought it would help because exams are in, like, two months and you missed a whole month of preparation." Hermione Granger who? Eddie shuffled a small stack of papers over to your desk. The front page was highlighted, underlined and had stars around the title. Typical Eddie.

"Thanks, Eds! God, my mom will freak if I fail my exams." You exclaimed with a beam that Eddie returned.

"Anyway, how have you been? Did you tell her you liked her?" You were referring to Eddie's crush. She had been spoken about, but Eddie had refused to tell anyone what her name was, which sucked. It'd be better to know which girl to be jealous of, instead of having to make wild guesses.

"What? No way! I'll tell her when Richie stops joking about my mom." Eddie decided.

"Eddie! Richie will never stop! Come on, you know I won't tell anyone!" You said, hands clasped together. Eddie laughed.

"Alright. I'll tell her to meet you in the bathrooms after third."

"Yes! God, Eddie, finally! If it's Gretta, I'm warning you, I may cry. You know, out of actual pain for you." Eddie laughed again, and your heart soared.

"No, no. I have better taste than that. Way better taste."

"I'm going to fucking kill Eddie." You muttered. It was five minutes into fourth, and the only person in the bathroom was yourself. The tap was dripping slowly, and you reluctantly turned it off before you went mad.

The mirror had smudges all over it, and you could see your reflection. The usual messy hair, the typical outfit, and the same old face. You frowned. What did Eddie's crush have that you didn't? If he liked a cheerleader, your name would be first on the tryouts list. If he was into some nerd, then books would fill your bedroom while he filled your heart. It was driving you insane not knowing which clique his crush fit into.

"Fucking dead." You muttered as you stalked out of the bathroom. It wasn't about being late for history and receiving an afternoon detention, it was about Eddie being a liar. Of course, you weren't mad at him. You knew that. You were mad, scathing mad at his crush.

"He's fucking dead."

"Where's (Y/n)?" Richie asked. The losers were at the bike shed, glancing around in each direction. There was no sign of their best friend.

"Oh. Shit. She might have a detention." Eddie concluded. Heads spun.

"Why?" Bill asked. He was immensely proud of being able to manage short answers without stuttering.

"I-Uh, I cant say." Eddie shifted uncomfortably.

"You can, and you fucking will." Richie demanded.

"I told," Eddie swallowed.

"I told her that my crush would meet her in the bathrooms after third and before fourth." Eddie explained. Stan rose an eyebrow.

"Is that it? Did she find out who it was?" Beverly asked eagerly.

"Um. She would have seen her, but I don't think she realised that that's my crush." Eddie chewed his bottom lip, a nervous habit he had picked up.

"If she didn't realise.. Is it Gretta or some fuck face?" Richie placed his hands on his hips, and Beverly, Stan and Ben burst out laughing. Bill sniggered, and took a mental photograph. He'd enjoy drawing that later.

"No! Ew! That's what (Y/n) said! It's not. It's someone way better. Basically a queen, no, a goddess compared to Gretta." Eddie looked happy talking about his crush, and Beverly decided that no matter who it was, she would support Eddie. Richie 'the nerd' Tozier, figured it out.

"Holy fuck! That's such a smart way of telling her who you like! God, the second I get a crush on someone I'll do that. But it's also pretty stupid. She'll be mad, Ed's, really mad." Richie clapped Eddie on the back, and he almost fell over.

"Oh!" Stan and Bill exclaimed at the same time. Bill, Eddie, Richie, Stan and (Y/n) had grown up together, and could practically read each other's minds.

"What?" Ben asked, gaze flickering between Richie and Eddie.

"Want to fill us in on your telepathic conversation?" Beverly said in amusement.

"Eddie likes (Y/n), and she would have seen her own reflection in the bathroom." Stan explained. He glanced at Eddie to double check. Eddie nodded miserably.

"She doesn't like me back, but at least she won't really know. Unless she figures it out. Holy shit, what if she figures it out?" Eddie's voice grew higher with every word he squeaked.

"She does li-like you. Like two m-months ago when you f-f-first told us you had a cr-cru-crush, she confessed to m-me. It was kind of p-pit- pitiful, watching her pine o-over someone whose as o-o-oblivious as she is." Bill snickered quietly. Eddie's head snapped upwards.

"What the fuck? Is this some kind of joke?" He looked at everyone in the small circle.

"Ew. She has terrible taste. Better make your move, Eddie, before someone else sweeps her off her feet." Richie pointed out, quite bluntly in Eddie's opinion.

"I can't. She'd never like me as much as I like her." Eddie said miserably. The Losers exchanged a glance. What a delusional fool.

"Kaspbrak! Get your puny little ass over here!" You shouted as you pedalled over to the Losers as fast as you could. Eddie pushed Stan in front of him, who grinned at you.

"Now is not the time to tell me to be a vegetarian, Stan. Eddie, I'm going to kill you! I got my first detention of the whole fucking year thanks to you!" Eddie swallowed.

"She told me she was there?" Eddie looked terrified, and you almost laughed.

"Well, she fucking wasn't." You rifled through your bag and found a wad of gum. You threw it at Eddie as hard as you could. He let out a shriek, and Richie dove for the packet on the ground.

"Wicked! It's still got four pieces! Thanks, (Y/n)!" Richie beamed.

"Oh, also. You're Eddie's crush. Get it, because you would have looked in the mirror and seen yourself. Fuck off Eddie!" Richie squealed when Eddie threw his fanny pack at the bespectacled boy. Your eyes widened comically. Stan and Bill exchanged a glance, while Beverly and Ben exchanged something similar.

"No you're not! Ew!" Eddie shrieked like a bird. Your mouth opened.

"I get you don't like me, Eddie, but that's just fucking rude." You decided. Eddie looked helplessly at Richie.

"It's fine, Ed's. She likes you too. She told me about it in maths." Richie smirked triumphantly at your face.

"Fuck off, jackass. No one was asking for your opinion." You stuck the bird up at Richie, who began chomping on YOUR gum loudly.

"Fuck you too. I just got a couple together, pull my pants down and call me Cupid." Ben snickered, and Stan high fived Richie.

"What? No, you didn't!" Eddie almost shrieked. There's not much that can be done when the pair involved are refusing point blank to believe the other likes them.

"Well, I have to go. Eddie, you're still on my hit list. Richie, you better watch your fucking back. Everyone else, have a nice night." You shouted as you pedalled away from the quarry where you had found the losers. Time to face facts. Edward Kaspbrak does not like you in any way other than a friend. Get it through your thick head.

"Eddie! The fuck was that?" Richie groaned. Eddie looked confused.

"What was what? We're just two friends, and I've hopelessly fallen for someone who doesn't like me back and that's totally cool." Even Stan could tell Eddie was going to cry.

"She does fucking like you." Stan shouted in annoyance.

"What?" Eddie whispered. Richie wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

"She does like you, dip shit! Why would we lie about that? Go get your act together because I push you into the fucking water." Stan ran a hand through his hair tiredly. Eddie gulped.

"I'll do something tomorrow, I swear I will."

#eddie kaspbrak x reader

[dreaming-of-assclass]

Hi! Can I please have some Karma and Sugino friendship beadcanons? ❤

*cracks knuckles* I’ve been waiting so long for this...😤💚

I literally adore this friendship! Definitely my fave Karma relationship (next to Kayano uwu).

I guess I could sum it up as...Sugino is such a popular, friendly, socially intelligent guy. Karma is “cool,” edgy, and very socially awkward. They’re literally the most iconic type of sitcom duo

Anyways, sorry I was freaking out for a sec there 😅

So...they get off to a rocky start, but I imagine they get super close over the year. At first Nagisa is kinda a middle man, but eventually, they can hang out and vibe without him around.

Sugino overcomes his prejudice and biased view of Karma, and sees the good qualities in him. His respect for Karma grows and he thinks of him as a trustworthy guy.

Karma thinks Sugino is ingenuine at first, but realizes he’s just purely nice. Sugino is very honest and easy to talk to, which is great for someone like Karma, who doesn’t trust people easily at all.

Now...for some headcanons hehe

Sugino is one of the few people that Karma will voluntarily help with studying. He may joke that Sugino owes him a favor or needs to supply him with wasabi or some shit, but he’s honestly just doing it bc Sugino is a close friend.

They’re the most confrontational in Group 4 and may end up verbally disagreeing just bc of their clashing personalities at times. Except it’s usually with little things, like directions, what to do, etc.

(In the future) Everytime Karma is mistakenly given the opportunity to drive, Sugino is such a backseat driver. He’s legitimately scared sometimes that Karma will kill someone...

They fight over the aux, and Karma somehow manages to get it every single time.

Sugino has accidentally hit him in the head with a baseball far too many times...Karma can’t even get pissed bc they are accidental.

Whenever they’re paired in PE, neither of them are taking it seriously. They’re just messing around so much bc it’s honestly so lighthearted. When they do take it seriously, it’s always an interesting match. Karma has faster reflexes, but Sugino beats him in agility. Sugino also has more raw strength, but Karma is a quicker thinker.

Sugino is canonically very talented at a lot of things: sports, art, acting... Karma jokes around that Sugino might finally beat him as the Class Talented Genius, but it’s not out of jealousy at all. It’s his way of complimenting Sugino and showing his support.

Surprisingly...Karma doesn’t ship Sugizaki. Of course, they’re both his friends, but he’s still way closer with Sugino. And he can’t help but see the delusional fantasy Sugino is living in where he puts Kanzaki on a pedestal. It bothers Karma but he isn’t sure what to say. He just hopes Sugino gets over himself eventually, but in the meantime, he’ll quietly support him.

The two of them and Maehara are the ones to come up with “get-rich-quick” schemes...they always invite Isogai but he just sighs and says “Don’t break anything. Don’t kill someone. Or each other.”

They once make a bet with each other that neither of them can indulge in their guilty pleasure for a week, and whoever caves first loses and has to do something embarrassing. Karma can’t eat any junk food or sugar, and Sugino can’t touch a video game. They constantly bait each other during the week while they’re both losing it. Sugino eats snacks in his face, including his precious strawberry milk. Karma rubs it in his face that he could afford the newest version of Sugino’s favorite game. They eventually end it without either of them lasting the week, and tackling each other in a fight. Group 4: “I literally can’t with these dumbasses”

They end up in a ballet class together with Kimura. It was suggested by Korosensei that it improves their balance and skills, but Karma shrugged it off and Sugino said he’ll pass. A couple days later, they change their mind bc dammit, Isogai and Maehara beat them AGAIN. They drag Kimura too bc why not, athletes and chuuni’s stick together. They leave having great ballet skills, and return to assassination. But Isogai and Maehara still be winning 😔

Karma is shook at first in the beginning of their friendship when he notices how many times Sugino nearly jumps into fights/starts shit. He brings it up, and Sugino just sheepishly responds “Oh you know, I only do it when my friends are being messed with. I really should handle things better though.” And Karma just stares at him like ?? “No Sugino don’t change. Now that I hear that, I finally have some respect for you lmfao.” And Sugino is like “oh cool! ...wait that was an insult.”

But that really is a part of Sugino that Karma respects and appreciates a lot. He knows that Sugino has got his back whenever he needs him there, whether it’s assassination, street fights, etc.

Sugino is a chaotic well-meaning idiot, but Karma never wants to use him as a minion like Terasaka. He’d prefer Sugino by his side, like a right hand man, with his support close by.

Karma lives to scare Sugino with his edgy stories, but of course, that goes away the longer they know each other and become friends. Sugino just either accepts it or eggs it on. Karma: “what if I drop this spider onto your head and it infects your mind?” Sugino: “do it bitch.”

Both of them get the same present format for each other on their birthdays. One joke/prank gift and one useful/practical gift.

I HC that Sugino becomes friendly with Gakushuu too at some point, so whenever the rivals are being petty and ready to kill each other, Sugino is just like :D

It’s a pain doing laundry at his apartment since his family has so many clothes and sweaty sports gear to wash, parents are usually busy, their machine doesn’t work sometimes, and he hates leaving things to air-dry... So Karma lets him wash his stuff at his house UwU

Karma always makes sure to watch his baseball games in the future. Not in person all the time, and not the whole game, but at least a couple minutes of the screen. Just to make sure Sugino is doing alright. If he’s having a bad day and isn’t in the lead, Karma texts him like “wtf u better win bitch >3” and Sugino replies “ur right but fuck u”

Karma has a field day whenever girls are flirting with Sugino and he’s so oblivious. Over the years, he has: pretended that he was Sugino’s boyfriend instead and “back off hoes,” basically arranged dates for him just out of fun, and catfished Sugino (as adults)

Sugino’s home isn’t perfect at all, his family is far from perfect. But it’s still way better than the emptiness that Karma is surrounded by. So he invites Karma over a few times for dinner and such, and Karma appreciates it a lot. He also bonds with Sugino’s wild little brother and they create so much chaos.

Sugino can’t trash talk at all, and Karma tries to teach him but it doesn’t work. He’s too wholesome, and Karma just gives up after ten minutes of hearing harmless, stupid shit come out of Sugino’s mouth.

Overall, they’re the Iconic, Talented, Sitcom Duo with so much comedy potential. I love this friendship so much!

#assclass #assassination classsroom #karma akabane #tomohito sugino #ansatsu kyoushitsu #headcanons #thank you so so so much #i love this friendship and i will take any chance to write about sugino uwu #group 4

[dream-girls-evil]

Ratched: Episode 5 Reactions

Party Planning

The red light stands for DRUGS

Ohh he’s meeting Mildred! On the outside this def looks like a date.

Ooh Mildred changing the game now that she’s got all the leverage.

Poor eclair didn’t deserve that

“This is about the lesbians, isn’t it?” Yes, always.

I almost feel bad for Bucket. Almost.

Oh is she gonna know Mildred put him up to this? Guess not.

Basically throwing herself a promotion party lol but yay a DANCE!!!

Is she planning to have Edmund do something to prove himself insane? Oh yep lol

Omg Mildred no this is too cruel don’t get Bucket’s hopes up 😂😂😂

“You’re a woman again” okay that’s laying it on a little thick

Haha Mildred finally dropping the pretense with Hanover. I love it.

“Trust me” Honestly why tho

Oooh who is this lady? She’s mean but she’s right, the way he’s holding that violin is terrible.

Oh, apparently she’s Ondine Duquette

Or Charlotte Wells? ...I see what’s happening.

Love an inaccurate portrayal of DID (sarcasm)

Mmm does Mildred know Hanover has a thing for her? (I think he does at least, or did) Cuz it’s pretty bold of her to touch his face like that.

Aw she’s on her date with Gwen!

Love how straightforward Gwen is and the communication here!

Oh Gwen was in love with a nurse who was killed in the war? That’s coincidental. And Mildred understands it.

Her companion!!! I’m excited but nervous. People might talk.

Lenore’s Arrival

Lenore and Petunia! They look so out of place here XD poor Louise

“The wallpaper hurts my feelings” I’d be lying if I said I’d never felt that strongly about wallpaper

Can’t believe she just invited Mildred to tea, but this is clearly a woman who’s used to getting what she wants.

Oh nice, she just wants Mildred to take over the job XD unfortunately, I think Mildred has other plans. She needs him, though not indefinitely. She’ll probably kill Hanover anyway once she frees Edmund, tie up loose ends. But there’s no harm in pretending to go along with Lenore’s wishes.

Oooh Lenore just got REAL angry about the money Mildred asked for. Guess they’ll be enemies!

Aw Betsy!!! She’s so nervous and so happy!

Hypnotherapy...this should be interesting

A RED-LETTER DAY FOR BETSY BUCKET

Fffff he’s trying to hypnotize his way out of a date. This is a new one 😂

Aw Dolly. Stop bonding with the bad man. He’s just using you.

HE DOESNT LOVE YOU

Ew I don’t like Mildred being alone with Edmund while he’s naked

Do we really trust him to hurt himself and not, you know, everyone else? Mildred does, apparently. Hope she doesn’t regret it.

Oh Charlotte...

AND THEY MADE HER NOT PRESS CHARGES

If only it really was as easy to get rid of trauma as snapping your fingers

Omg Hanover crying because he helped someone. This guy is so interesting, honestly. He does genuinely want to help people.

OMG LOUISE AND BETSY ARE FRIENDS?! Please tell me they just complain about Mildred all the time.

Okay so Betsy’s a little delusional lmao her retelling of Hanover’s reaction to the gifts is...quite altered

Omg they’re dancing this must have been the most fun scene to shoot on the whole show

“I’ve never seen you look so happy” I ship them

HA I knew they just complained about Mildred together

Lenore is there LENORE IS RIGHT THERE

Ohhh he’s breaking down. Little does he know that Mildred is the one who brought Lenore here.

Ahhh now he’s holed up at the hospital where Mildred is the only one who can reach him.

I think Lenore likes Mildred’s nerve now

The Dance

Mmm why do I feel like Charlotte might end up stealing Edmund’s thunder?

Poor Betsy. Hanover’s off to get drugged up.

Oh, he’s REALLY out of it. Jon Jon Brione is such a great actor.

So much for everyone ignoring Edmund lmao

She’s a PEACH

MMM Betsy’s onto Gwen and Mildred

Aaand Harold is distracted

Omg Dolly looks so pretty!!! Hope Edmund doesn’t kill her

Oh NO they’re planning on running?! I have no idea which plan he’s going to follow. I’m so nervous.

Oh their little clandestine handhold I cri

Betsy you are getting ahead of yourself a little

Omg causing a scene nooo

NOOO BETSY

Damn Hanover came outta nowhere with the rage

And now Gwen and Mildred have left to comfort her and NO ONE IS WATCHING EDMUND

Mildred’s sense of empathy really does strike at the oddest times and in the oddest ways.

Okay Edmund didn’t try anything while they were gone but this is definitely not going to go according to Mildred’s plan.

Noooo Harold!!! No one even got to tell you they’re lesbians 😔

FUCK GWEN NO

Duuude Dolly is excited by this. And I legit can’t tell if Edmund is playing at being freaked out by Gwen or it’s genuine.

Thoughts and Theories

Well, that was a packed episode! I really do feel bad for Betsy Bucket lol, she may hate Mildred and act like a hardass around her, but then she turns into such a sweet and silly woman. I’m kind of living for her friendship with Louise, too, although I know it can mean nothing good for Mildred, who doesn’t realize she’s surrounded on all sides. We haven’t even flashed over to Louise rifling in her room during the dance, yet. I wonder what, if anything, she’ll find. But if she does find something, how will Bucket react? I think her opinions of Mildred might have changed after this incident. Speaking of which, while I get what they’re trying to do by having Mildred go all empathetic and feminist, it feels really out of place to me. I know she didn’t expect Hanover to go off like that, but she hardly likes Bucket, and more than that, humiliating and disempowering her would actually serve Mildred’s purposes. Especially if Bucket quit over it. If the whole point of getting them together was to keep Bucket distracted, then surely getting her out of the hospital altogether would be even better. Perhaps I could believe that she saw the opportunity to get on Bucket’s good side by comforting her if it wasn’t so clearly an emotionally-driven choice, and one she was conflicted about. She chose going after Bucket over watching Edmund. That’s a pretty interesting brand of empathy and overconfidence.

On to Edmund, the whole Bonnie-and-Clyde thing was definitely a surprise, but mostly because I’m like...literally what is the plan here? How long do they think they’ll be able to survive on the run? Edmund himself is hard to get a read on, because we don’t get a whole lot from his perspective, but knowing Murphy, I’d wager that he does genuinely have some attachment to Dolly, if only because he’s lacking a sympathetic female figure in his life. He has Mildred of course, but seems very impatient and displeased with her plan and how she tries to control him. I think this whole escape is probably a combination of that frustration and impulsiveness and how he and Dolly really feed off each other’s romanticized idea of how it will all work out. It’ll be interesting to see where they go from here and whether they turn on each other or not. I really still can’t tell whether Edmund is really upset about Gwen being shot or not, but at this point I’m wondering like, why would he need to pretend? Dolly is clearly exhilarated by the whole thing (also unexpected). Their argument is over whether or not Gwen was “fair game,” which sounds to me like Edmund is similar to Mildred in that he really needs a way to justify his murders, which could be interesting, it’s just not the direction I thought we were gonna go with him. We’ll see, I guess!

#ratched #ratched spoilers #mildred ratched #edmund tolleson #nurse bucket #betsy bucket #lenore osgood #mrs osgood #dr hanover #charlotte wells #all hail the queue of hell

[lovelyirony]

“Dance with me.” For brucethor please!

Bruce didn’t dance. Ever. For all of his illustriously short career as a human being, Bruce had danced probably once, and that was at his Aunt Rebecca’s wedding. When he was three. 

After that, there was no dancing. A little something along the lines of “my dad fucking sucks and I hate him a lot, he’s too controlling” etc., with added trauma blah blah blah. 

“You going to homecoming this year?” Tony asks. Tony Stark is someone who Bruce never thought he’d be friends mainly because a.) Tony Stark is not afraid to act like an asshole to literally anybody, and b.) Most of the rumors are not true and started by Tony himself, who likes to weed out the people he doesn’t want ot hang out with. 

“No,” Bruce says. “I have a college exam to study for.” 

“How many are you taking, fifty? There’s not that much. Besides, you want to go to Culver and they’re practically offering to pay you a livable salary to go there.” 

“No college pays a livable salary to students, they’re delusional,” Bruce says with a shrug. “But I want to make sure my back-up colleges will accept me as well.” 

“Just apply for a school in Florida, they take anyone. Case in point, Justin Hammer got offered a place at Florida State.” 

“I’ll check that one off my list.” 

Tony laughs, taking another cracker out of his lunch. 

“But seriously, you should go to homecoming. Everyone does, and it’s your senior year. You should get some new experiences in besides studying for a new biology course that you’re taking online.” 

“Harvard let one out, I think I might apply for that.” 

“Ugh, you’re so boring.” 

“You’re the one who sits with me at lunch every day,” Bruce reminds him. “I’m so sure that Bucky Barnes would just be dying to have you sit with him. Or just be with him.” 

Tony turns to see Bucky staring at him across the table. 

“That’s ridiculous. He’s probably looking at the lunch menu for tomorrow. Speaking of, if it’s cheese pizza I’m going to barf.” Bruce rolls his eyes, but doesn’t bother to tell Tony that Bucky thinks he built the universe. 

“You’re a millionaire, I’m sure Jarvis could get you some caviar or whatever it is our government officials eat.” 

“I’m not part of the government, darling.” 

“You’re made of money, you have more sway than the president,” Bruce says. 

Tony thinks it over, humming. 

“True. Think I could get sustainable energy bills passed if I make the conservatives think it’s their idea?” 

“Possibly. You’d have to dumb it down way more than you did for Rumlow.” 

“Shoot me,” Tony moans, slumping down on the table. 

Bruce snorts, glancing to the clock. He starts gathering up his things and taking all the trash and recycling to the correct bins. 

They walk together, and Bruce tries very hard not to see Thor barging down the stairs, laughing loudly with Brunnhilde Valkyrie and Carol Danvers as they go for the next lunch shift. 

“I think Thor doesn’t have a date to homecoming,” Tony says. “And you’d be great arm candy.” 

“About as good as Red Vines,” Bruce mutters. 

“Your hatred of that candy knows no bounds.” 

“It shouldn’t even be legally called candy, I think anyone who eats it is a freak of nature.” 

“Very true. We should banish them to Siberia.” 

Tony and Bruce don’t share the next class. Tony is taking some anthropology class solely so he can have a class with both Rhodey and Pepper. Bruce doesn’t know why people think Tony is this suave asshole who has no friends, because Tony is about the most affectionate guy on the planet. 

The last hour of the day is Bruce’s favorite. It’s a cinema class, one that’s required this year because Bruce has exhausted the school of every possible science credit and math credit. 

“You need to take some arts,” Bruce’s counselor, Mrs. May said. Melinda May is a very terrifying woman who has deceptively nice desk decorations that usually indicate a woman who likes to talk about tea. Mrs. May asked Bruce if he knew how to throat-punch someone, and if he would like to learn. 

“Um, how is that relevant?” 

“It’s not. But you do well in school, it’s clear you care about your grades. I have nothing to discuss with you since you’ve done college applications early and applied for financial aid and scholarships. You’re basically a very responsible eighteen year old. So, do you want to learn how to throat-punch someone?” 

He does learn, and he also learns that he needs at least one more art credit. 

But the cinema class is one of the easiest classes. Everyone knows that it’s basically just watching a movie, writing a one-page reflection, and you occasionally get to nap. Bruce usually finishes up some applications, gets a snack in, and stares at Thor. 

Not in that order. Sometimes he needs to stare at Thor first. 

Thor is a very attractive person. He is smart, compassionate, and has very nice arms. He also knows how to care for long hair. This is a plus in many people’s books, Bruce’s included. 

Thor loves watching the movies and talking with friends in low tunes. Bruce sometimes gets involved in this discussion if they’re watching an interesting movie. Bruce likes that, that Thor turns and asks him what he thinks. 

The movie they’re watching currently is a musical, something Bruce rarely likes because he was forced to take a theater class last year, and now he legally can’t be around theater kids if he wants inner peace. 

It’s The Sound of Music. Bruce likes looking at the scenery. 

“Bruce, what do you think about it?” Thor asks. 

“Um…I really like the scenery. And Julie Andrews is always a good choice.” 

“I agree.” 

It’s quiet after that, until the DVD player shorts out and the teacher runs to the IT department, which probably won’t do something unless they pull Tony out of his class to fix it. 

The conversations flow evenly over the classroom, and Bruce focuses back in on his application for a new science course for the summer. If he can fit in one more credit hour, it shortens his college by one year, meaning he can graduate in three years instead of four, and then look onto graduate school. 

“What about homecoming?” Sif asks Thor. “I’m taking Jane, we’re shopping for suits soon. Who are you taking?” 

“I’m not sure,” Thor says. “Haven’t found anyone since Val decided to take Helen.” 

Bruce perks up a little bit. He doesn’t know why he does, because it’s not like he wants to go to homecoming anyway. 

Well, he wouldn’t mind it. Sure he’d need to buy a too-expensive shirt, but then he could use that shirt again for any official business meetings when he applies for internships, so–

“Bruce, what are you doing?” 

Bruce blinks, looking at Thor. 

“Um, right now I’m trying to sign up for a new biology class, so uh…” 

“I meant for homecoming.” 

“Oh!” Bruce is surprised. “Um, I don’t know. I was thinking about staying, but I’m not sure yet. I heard that Pepper’s really trying hard this year to get better decorations.” 

“Dude, then it’d be totally worth it,” Sif says. “If Pepper’s in charge, that means this homecoming won’t be the fiasco it was last year.” 

Last year, they did not have a good homecoming, Bruce heard. Pepper had an extended leave due to personal circumstances. She’s basically the backbone of the planning committee, and she had not started seriously training the newbie, Darcy. The homecoming the worst in existence, especially since the principal chose the music and all of it was from the early 2000s. 

“I might, I don’t know. I have no idea what Tony’s doing. He wants me to go, but I think Bucky might ask him.” 

“Barnes thinks Tony Stark hung the world on its axis,” Thor says, grinning. “But hey, you could always come with us.” 

“Um…okay. That’d be great.” 

So Bruce has homecoming plans. 

Tony doesn’t know about this until a week later, when they’re sitting at lunch together and Tony is telling him all about the homecoming ask that he had gotten from Barnes, which was very ridiculous and completely made Tony cry when he got home. 

(Not that Tony would ever admit to this, but he snapchatted Bruce at least fifteen different videos of what were essentially keysmashes in vocal chords.) 

“So, have you changed your mind about homecoming?” 

“Um, Thor asked me to be part of his group.” 

Tony’s eyes bug out. 

“Thor asked you out?!” 

“What? No!” Bruce says. “He just told me I could join the group. So I need a shirt.” 

“If you decide to wear that ugly yellow one your grandmother got you two years ago, I will literally kill you.” 

“It’s not that ugly.” 

“That yellow is from 1978 corporate business in Milwaukee, it’s disgusting.” 

“I’ll be sure to find something else, then,” Bruce says dryly. “Maybe eggplant purple.” 

“I will make sure you go in Versace if you keep this up.” 

But Bruce goes shopping Friday afternoon with Pepper and Tony and Rhodey, who all have looks in mind. 

“What are you thinking about, Bruce?” Rhodey asks. 

“Um…I don’t know. A shirt? Maybe a tie?” 

“You’re not a tie guy,” Pepper answers. “We’ll find you a nice shirt that compliments your eyes. Also, how do you feel about a haircut.” 

“What kind of haircut?” 

“A good one, obviously,” Tony scoffs. 

So they sign him up for a hair appointment Saturday morning, and they look for nice shirts. 

Bruce will not dare wear anything that’s bright, like red or yellow or god-forbid the dark green shirt that Tony said made him look “amazing.” 

“That’s just…no,” Bruce says. “Green really isn’t my color.” 

“I think it fits you,” Tony says. “But whatever.” 

Bruce actually starts texting Thor, who is very funny and knows the memes that he likes. They talk about dinner plans for homecoming, and what restaurant to go to. 

“I just don’t want there to be a lot of people, you know?” Thor says at lunch. Bruce and Tony have started to merge their two groups of people now, who get along quite well after the initial groupchat make via Tony. 

“Yeah, me either,” Bruce says. “I really don’t want to run into someone like Rumlow.” 

“Well, what about fixing a dinner at someone’s house?” Pepper asks. “That way, it’s more cost-effective.” 

Tony agrees to host it because he and Rhodey are wanting to try a new pasta recipe and they can get the ingredients in bulk. 

“Did you end up picking out a shirt?” Thor asks. “I know that you hated the green one. I thought that looked good.” 

“You did?” Bruce asks, trying very hard not to blush. 

He failed. 

“Yeah,” Thor says. “Made the eyes pop. But you didn’t like it, so it doesn’t matter. What color are you wearing?” 

“Um, purple. A light one, though. Not anything that’s gross or anything like that.”

(Sometimes, Bruce really wishes that he could just. Speak normally in front of his crush. Actually, all the time.) 

“Cool. I bet you’ll look handsome.” 

“Thanks,” Bruce manages to get out, taking a sip of water. “And you’re gonna look great too. I mean, you always do, but like with a suit it’s different so–” 

“You think I look great?” 

“I’d be a fool not to,” Bruce answers automatically.  Then immediately regrets it because who the fuck says that???????? 

Tony gives him a look when he gives him a ride home. 

“You’re in too deep,” Tony says. 

“Quit quoting Sum 41 at me.” 

“Then quit avoiding the subject,” Tony says. “And I wasn’t quoting Sum 41. I just think you’re majorly crushing on Thor and you’re not going to do anything about it.” 

“Why would I?” Bruce asks. “This is the last year of high school, and he’s probably going to go somewhere else for college. You know I don’t like long distance.” 

“You don’t mind long distance, you do it all the time,” Tony says. “You push people away because you can’t imagine people wanting to care for you.” 

“Since when did you pass psychology with an A?” 

“Since I made Freud my bitch. I don’t wanna make you mad, Bruce, but I still think you should at least try with Thor. You deserve it.” 

Bruce sits in the car, sipping on his water. 

“I’ll consider it.” 

And he will. Because despite Tony usually making a joke out of everything and giving Bruce very useless advice all the time, he does have some moments of clarity. This is one of them. 

Tony’s one of the few people who knows why Bruce studies so much and wants to go far away from his house and why. Tony doesn’t blame him, because Tony hates being in the same room as his father and is uncomfortable when people show him affection without wanting something. But they’re both getting better. 

Besides. Bruce has a little bit of a feeling that usually people don’t say that they liked you in the green shirt if there’s not something there. But he’ll wait for the dinner. 

Bruce is glad that Pepper told him not to get a tie, he’s having trouble buttoning the shirt itself. He doesn’t know why he’s so nervous, or why he hopes to god that he doesn’t get pit stains on the shirt. He put on deodorant six times throughout the day, and nothing has happened, but he’s nervous. 

He gets to Tony’s half an hour early to help get the dishes and silverware out, and also hopefully be convinced that things are going to be fine. 

Dinner is nice. Thor sits next to Bruce specifically, and Bruce even gets so bold as to laugh out loud and ask if Thor will save him a dance. 

“For you? Of course,” Thor says. 

The dance looks beautiful. Pepper is making sure everything is good, make sure the sophomores deny Tony’s requests to play the most obscure songs he can think of, and that no one is getting too drunk with the drinks they smuggled in. 

Thor dances easily, while it takes Bruce a little bit to warm up. 

“Time for the couples dance!” A teacher announces cheerily. 

Bruce thinks to step back, watching as Bucky shyly takes Tony’s hand and leads him out. 

He’s surprised when he gets a tap on his shoulder. 

“Would you, ah, care for a dance? With me?” Thor asks. He seems nervous. Bruce blinks. 

“Um, shit. Yeah.” 

Bruce is not eloquent, but he feels it as Thor takes him around the room. He grins as he looks at Thor. 

“So. A couples dance. That mean anything?” 

“If you want it to,” Thor says. “I’d like to take you out on a date sometime, if you’re interested.” 

“I am,” Bruce says. “Most definitely I am. Besides, you said I still need to try the bakery by the bookstore off fiftieth.” 

“That can be our first destination.” 

They smile at each other, and for the moment everything is perfect. They don’t know what the future holds, but that’s okay. 

#LONG ASS POST #lovelyirony writes #thorbruce #i took this and RAN with it #thor #bruce banner #tony stark #pepper potts #rhodey #bucky barnes #winteriron #bruce is a mess and i LOVE him

[phantomphangphucker]

Phango - Not So Strangers In The Night

(Swagger Bishie + Identity Reveal + Ghost King)

Dash wants many things but there’s two he’s sure he just can’t have, Danny meanwhile, doesn’t think ‘can’t’ is an actual word.

Dash sighs mentally, eyeballing Danny out of the corner of his eye. There had always just been something about how lithe the guy’s body was, the way his clothing would occasionally cling or hang off him giving away the skinnier body underneath. Personally, he would never wear oversized clothing himself, but it was more than a little attractive on people with petite frames.

Watching Danny stretch his arms over his head and yawn in a way that was almost cat-like. He doesn’t know when Danny’d gotten his teeth done like that, the fangs, but they added an even more slender and sharp edge to his face. Moving his gaze up the other teens' jawline to mentally trace out a sharp line all the way past the tapered ears. Everything about Danny’s face was sharp, defined...and incredibly attractive.

Glancing back to Danny’s arms just before he lowers them, the oversized sweater just thin enough and just heavy enough to give away the ever so slight hint of defined muscles underneath. Dash has no clue how that happened and he was honestly a bit hurt and dismayed when he noticed Danny bulking up. How could he not notice? It was so very obvious every time he grabbed around the now practically rock hard biceps to drag the kid off for his daily beating. Or when he snuck a peek down Danny’s shirt, as he always did, when pinning him up against some locker. He knows attacking Danny is pretty stupid, but Dash knows he’s not a smart guy. And really? A jock with a loser? A freak? Never. He’d be a social pariah. So he gets his hands on his secret little crush the only way he knows how. With rough hands and a strong dose of aggression. He does relish the closeness too though with that strange muscle Danny’s built, he does wonder why Danny never truly fights back. He honestly wouldn’t mind getting rough up by the lithe teen. That was half the reason he loved football after all, and working out. The bruises, the cuts, the sore muscles. Pain was a pleasure and carried a feeling of power. Knowing just what your body could do and take. And he’ll admit to testing Danny’s limits sometimes. Seeing just how much pain he could take, which honestly just left him feeling very impressed...and attracted.

But back to why Danny’s muscle growth had bugged him. In the beginning, it did anyway. See Danny had always been skinny, there was a daintiness to him, yet lithe. It’s not like Danny never had muscle, no, it had just been muscle potential hidden away. And wondering just what he could do if that potential developed was a bit exhilarating. Just like getting a new teammate on the field. But his fellow jocks were all rather brutish in their muscle and psyche, which Dash firmly did not have an interest in. And sure, maybe he had gone a little blind, thinking that the only real options were skinny, beefy, or fat.

So imagine his hidden horror with that mindset, when Danny -with the perfect femboy bod, with all the sharpness needed to have a somewhat pixie look- seemed to be transitioning into the beefy category? Over time that worry was quelled, Danny’s muscle was so different. He never seen such a lean tight kind of musculature, Danny even seemed to become more sharp; sharper jaw, the ears, even his eyes had a sharpness. It was, dare he say, exotic. Which if anything, only added to the femboy pixie look. Which okay, sue him, he liked cutesy shit; definitely explained his taste in men. Not that anyone actually knew that. Dash Baxter, number one football star and the example of masculinity, being interested in anything ‘cute’? Never. He had an image he had to keep.

That was one thing he was insanely jealous of Danny over. Danny’s freaky family made it so that it didn’t damn matter what he did or how he acted. Nothing was unexpected behaviour from a Fenton. And he was already a social pariah. Danny could literally transform into a dog or some shit and no one would really be all that surprised. He might get a few new insults hurled at him but that’s it. But Dash? The slight wrong move and goodbye scholarships or dealing with a furious father. ‘Cause don’t let it fool you, regardless of what the colleague heads said publicly, they absolutely did discriminate. Especially in sports. And bi in football? Bi and hocked up with a cute little thing who was a social outcast of the lowest most mocked kind? Surely his life and future would explode right in front of his face.

And of course there was the issue of if Danny would even be interested. Because finally owning up only to get rejected? By said lowest of the low twink? That would beyond worse. So yeah, the risk wasn’t worth it. And he wasn’t quite dull enough to not realise that Danny probably did not like him, the ‘bullying’ and all that. So even if Danny did swing that way, well, Dash’s chances were pretty well nothing.

Making a damn point to jeer mockingly and with a level of intimidation at the weirdo trio as he passes them on his way to class, firmly making a point to not react to picking up on Danny clearly not being fearful and even smirking slightly. It honestly pleased him immensely that Danny didn’t seem to actually fear him. Again, it was something like hidden strength. That was one thing that had always separated Danny from the other skinny kids, he wasn’t fearful. He was bold and loud. Even if that only really showed if you looked for it or caught him on more of his more mirth filled days. Simply put, Danny had never been pathetic. Never been weak. Even back when he was physically very much weak -Dash had to give him fitness training for peats sake- he had never been mentally weak.

Sitting at the back of the class next to Kwan, sneaking glances at Danny here and there. This was something he liked to do in the less important and boring classes, recently anyway. Sure he had always admired Danny with glances here and there but another one of Danny’s changes was just too intriguing not to watch.

Danny often slept in classes, that was boring and honestly made him worry some which is why he went easier on the guy on the days he seemed to be napping more often than not, but when he didn’t and it was one of these more useless classes? He’d go between looked over the other students and scanning the town through the window next to him. The sharpness to his eyes was most noticeable then and there was something about the way he looked over the rest of their classmates. It reminded Dash of how people talked about how gods and angels would gaze upon humans. Like they were impossibly and unimaginably above them yet fond and even protective. It really added to that pixie aesthetic Danny had, made him seem just that more ethereal. ‘Ethereal’ that’s a new one, maybe he got more out of Lancer’s crappy poetry babble than he thought. That thought makes him wonder if Danny would like fancy words and that poetry stuff. All the fae in his moms' romance novels -which yes he did secretly read- seemed to love that kind of stuff.  And sure, he’s pretty sure Danny’s human, ethereal aspects aside, but a guy can imagine can’t he? Dash quickly brings his attention back to the teacher as Danny’s watchful yet distant gaze travels to him. At least he isn’t a blusher, Dash is more than a little thankful for that.

Dash is laying on his bed, quickly turning his head to the side as an explosion sounds. Promptly springing up and sticking his head out the window at spotting Phantom zip by, “WOOOO! Go get him Phantom!”, he can’t help but beam as Phantom glances back and sends him a little wave with a cocky smile.

Dash sighs and flops back against his bed, his crush on Phantom was another dirty little secret. Sure he may pass himself off as ‘his biggest fan’ and he certainly wasn’t nearly as bad -or delusional if he’s blunt- as Paulina, but he definitely was a part of the Phantom Crush Club in spirit. Since of course no one knew about this crush either. Queer thing aside, Phantom was a ghost. Which yes, was part of the attraction so sue him, again the whole ethereal thing. Man that word’s becoming a personal favourite.

Phantom’s glow combined with the white of his hair and skin, that definitely qualified as ethereal. The powers were whatever really, cool and probably really fun but not where Dash’s attraction is based. And really, if anything made Dash’s type clear it was his two crushes. Both of them had the lithe pixie feel to them. Sharp in all the right places and brimming with hidden strength. Though Phantom’s might be much more literal. But honestly, Dash preferred Danny’s less showy nature. Phantom demanded attention, the skin-tight jumpsuit definitely did not help reduce that, and he was loud in a way that could border on obnoxious. Danny was a sleek black cat with piercing knowing eyes, Phantom was a mighty dragon always coiled for a fight.

Blinking at the ceiling, “I’m getting all fancy, man I really need to sleep”. Turning over in his bed only for his hand to brush against the corner of a book, “hurgh?”, pulling it out towards his face and squinting. Staring at the little scrap paper used as a bookmark, “probably a bad idea”, but flicking the book open anyway; a bit curious where he left off.

“I wondered if my head and heart would ever reconcile, or whether I'd just cursed myself to relive this moment for the rest of my years, half assured I'd made the only choice available to me, half always whispering if only, the whole of me filled with bitter regret“ ~ An Enchantment Of Ravens

Dash blinks and grumbles, “you didn’t have to call me out like that”. Deciding to flip around to a random page.

“Are you in love with me?" I blurted out.

A terrible silence followed. Rook didn't turn around.

"Please say something."

He rounded on me. "Is that so terrible? You say it as though it's the most awful thing you can imagine. It isn't as though I've done it on purpose. Somehow I've even grown fond of your - your irritating questions, and your short legs, and your accidental attempts to kill me."

I recoiled. "That's the worst declaration of love I've ever heard!” ~ An Enchantment Of Ravens

Dash chuckles but sighs, “fate hates me”. Deciding to try once more, flipping closer to the beginning.

“My cheeks warmed, and a wistful pang plucked a sweet, sad chord in my stomach. It was simple, really. He didn’t want me to forget him once he’d gone” ~ An Enchantment Of Ravens

Dash blinks, he did always rather like seeing the slight busies he left on Danny. Which now that he thinks about it, they didn’t seem to form anymore or stay for long. Which, okay yes, bugged him, not like he knew why really. Guess it was kind of obvious now. Maybe Danny would See those bruises and remember him. Was that stupid? Likely. Snapping the book shut and sticking it more securely under the mattress, before making a point to force himself to settle down to sleep.

He finds himself waking up way too early for a school day, turning his head to look at the little football-shaped clock, it’s red light glare at him reading ‘3:42’. If non-ghostly objects could be malicious, he’s sure every alarm clock would be. The early morning leading to him thinking back on his current book, the story of a fae royal and human falling in love. Forbidden love that would cost the fae his reputation. Sounded a little familiar huh?

Twenty minutes later and his mind’s still on that damn book, so he throws the blankets off and decides to get dressed. Thankfully sneaking out was relatively easy in his house, normally everyone was so loud that quiet noises went completely unnoticed. So just walking out the front door was a perfectly fine thing to do.

Five minutes later finds him wandering the sidewalks of Amity. If he’s being totally honest, even if Danny wasn’t some social peasant or whatever, he still wouldn’t go for it; even if he was a girl. Why? Hitting on girls like Paulina was easy, expected even. There was no risk. Even if girls like we rejected him, that’s what they were expected to do most of the time. But someone he was actually interested in? That was risky. The thought of trying to take it was thrilling, attractive, fun. Actually trying? Nope.

Kicking a rock down the gravel as he enters the park, eventually bumping into to something or someone. Snapping his head up and cursing his luck -or maybe he should be thanking it?- at seeing it was Danny he ran into...literally. Watching as Danny steadies himself quickly, his hood fällig down in the process. Dash has to make a damn point to not stare and change his face to a scowl when the moonlight practically glows of Danny’s pale skin. Why did he have to be so, um, right, ethereal? “Watch it loser”.

Danny squints at him, then throws Dash through a loop by responding with, “no one wanders around at four am for good reasons”.

Dash blinks a bit at those watchful blue-eyes, losing a bit of the fake bite that Danny hopefully passes off as tiredness, “then why are you here?”.

“Why would I tell you why?”, with that Danny turns back to look over the rest of the park from the little bridge thingy they’re on.

Dash scoffs, “whatever Fentwerp”, joining in looking over the park. The two settle into silence, though it doesn’t take long for Dash to glance at Danny’s back; the dark grey hoodie was arguably in horrible condition but it just looked like a style choice on Danny. Everything probably looked good on him. Flicking his eyes away to avoid Danny possibly noticing, because really, there was no one else here so any staring from him would be rather obvious. That gets him thinking though, when had he ever been just one on one with Danny? With neither of their friends around or teachers? Never. It had never happened. Dash didn’t do lonely, he also didn’t do silence for that matter, and Danny’s friends were practically attached to him. Honestly, he’s pretty sure both of them are crushing on Danny; Valerie definitely still had a thing for him, everyone knew the goth did and the techno-geek had a thing for everyone. And yet none of them were going for him...why? They didn’t really have anything to lose and Valerie already had once. Right, even Paulina had dated him; even if she claimed it was to piss off the goth. Maybe there was just something about Danny that made him easy to crush on but impossible to love? Maybe it had something to do with how he was, what was that word? How could he have forgotten it already?....oh right, ethereal. Or maybe it was because he was ethereal. It was pretty obvious people are, um, put-off? -That sounds right- by things that seem inhuman. What with all the horror movies about such people, and that was a pretty common theme with human/non-human romances. Personally, he didn’t get it. Sharp, predatory, the thrum of potential power or danger, the otherworldliness -he’s pretty sure he’s read it described with that word once- he liked that.

Flicking his eyes back to Danny watching as he opens his mouth to sigh almost soundlessly, fangs dragging across his lips. Yeah, shit like that is going to be the death of Dash. With the silence officially be too much for the jock, Dash mutters, “four am is a stupid time”.

Danny snorts, “perfect for you then”, before pushing off the railing and eyeballing Dash. Smirking slightly, “you still keep a collection of teddy bears?”.

“Oh screw y-”, Dash cuts himself off, there’s not really anyone here to play pretend for. “Yeah, so what I like cute shit, what’s it to ya Fenton”. Including cute shit like you, being left unsaid.

Dash doesn’t miss how Danny’s eyes seem to glint while Danny tilts his head at him before those eyes glance around a little. Dash isn’t sure what he sees or is looking for, while Danny hums before speaking, “so often you aren’t quite what you seem, huh Dash?”. Then walking a bit to stand side to side with Dash, hands in his pockets, “you allow those around you to dictate who you are. Stop that, it’s stupid. You’ll never find what you want or who you fit with that way”.

Dash turns and watches Danny walk off. In some way it almost feels like Danny was never actually here.  Looking back tot the bridge and touch where Danny’s hand had been to find it cold. Was he tired enough to actually be imagining Danny being, well, Danny? He’s not sure he’d even be able to imagine the sharpness of Danny’s eyes. Sighing a bit and not sure if he wished the maybe Danny had stuck around or not. Before deciding to walk some more, the air smelled nice at least and no one was around to give a damn how he acted.

Turning and walking off the bridge only to nearly shriek from some blonde-haired guy just suddenly being there. He doesn’t look friendly and the scar over his face doesn’t help that, yet Dash finds himself frozen in spot. He knew he could move, kinda wants to, but something just feels like he shouldn’t. Maybe it was the piercing blue eyes, how even with the strong moonlight he had no shadow, or the cruel-looking smile that somehow felt kind.

Swallowing a bit thickly as the man approaches, the clicking of his purple walking stick being the only sound. The stranger looks up at him slightly, “restless soul, looking for something in another land. The kind heroes and villains dance upon. You think you know your path best, and yet, are just a vagabond too fearful of quicksand to walk from the desert dunes to find an oasis of blues and greens. You are parched dry from your ways, yet refuse to chase waters deeper than you know”.

Dash blinks, catching the moonlight glint off the strange gear cog collar pins, “what?”.

The man chuckles, “you hold tears of the potential of judgment. A soul of man, whose fading light will one day be at its end. Seeking to paint your existences canvas with the lord of graves. One who you’ll grant find in time, one way or another. Painted soot or painted snow. Regardless. Would you not rather run your hands through the textures while you can enjoy it and endeavour it while having a pulse to half match under your skin?”.

Dash’s brain is pretty well mud right now, “who are you?”.

He shrugs, “I’m a tale of time, that history has lost. I see, I guide, I exist. And you, you are a bird that thinks it’s a boar”.

One thing Dash can always do is pick up on insults, and that was an insult, even if he has no clue what that was supposed to mean, “I’m not a meathead”.

The stranger holds up a finger and smiles, his eyes have an oldness to them that is honestly unpleasant, “precisely. You fear not the dark nor the monster with in, you fear the light and things far weaker than you. The boar charges and fights the bull, the bird lives alongside it. You feign your charges, act the boar, even as your flyer eyes see that the target is something to walk with, not against. You do this so others think you are a boar, why would you want to? boars die foolish. Be glad your bull is more of a lording cat, one that won’t strike you down”.

Dash blinks and steps back a little bit, “er, whatever you weird old man”. To make a point, Dash walls forward and around the stranger, but not too close because seriously, what the fuck?

The stranger doesn’t move but follows Dash with his eyes, speaking again just as Dash walks past, “you may find your lithe cat will enjoy your feathers quite fine. And one more thing”, Dash glances back and the stranger winks with a grin, “it’s not time that’s stupid, it’s what you do with that time”.

To say Dash is confused, as he walks the gravel path feeling slightly paranoid, would be an understatement. Lancer’s weird poetry crap made more sense than that. But the weirdos' last words sounding so much like Danny’s is giving him a weird gut feeling that the guy was somehow talking about Danny. Officially deciding he needs to back to sleep, he must be having awake fever dreams or something.

Dash walks through the school doors, firmly glad he got more sleep. Part of him wants to confirm seeing Danny wasn’t some weird fever dream, the other part is a bit distracted when, in his taking in of Danny’s lithe form, he notices the small gear cog charm hanging off his chain belt. It looked exactly the same as the weird guys' pins, has Dash just walked into some strange fantasy story or something?

Looking away and storming through the halls like he owns them, which he does, when Danny looks to him. Catching Danny’s eyes seemingly becoming sharper for a second and his hand brushing the charm on his belt. Why did he feel like Danny noticing where he was staring was somehow...what was that word? Some that started with a ‘c’?whatever, it was somehow a strong play.

Danny just suddenly appearing and stepping out of a bathroom stall, that Dash is sure was empty, during lunch rather confirms his thoughts. Looking Danny over through the mirror, his head was titled and he quickly locks gazed with Dash through the mirror. This was that sharp edge really showing through, and god damn if that wasn’t stupidly attractive. Snapping at him, “what you being creepy for, you freaky weirdo”.

Danny scoffs and rolls his eyes, “it seemed rather timely”.

Dash blinks a bit at Danny almost jarringly quickly snapping his gaze back to Dash’s face in the mirror. The first thought to worm into his head is that this seemed like a cat stalking after a bird. Then basically getting dropped kicked in the brain by Deja Vu. Muttering at the mirror, “what is it with that bird shit”.

“What, someone give you a weird birds and the bees talk?”, Danny snickers, “thought you were too old for that”.

Dash squints at the mirror, was that what that guy was going off about? Honestly anything seems possible. Looking Danny over, if there was one thing everyone knew it was how used to strange he was. How part of it he was, because of his family. But Dash knows there’s more to it than that, that he was something different and strange all on his own. He’s also sure that’s not just his interest in the ethereal boy talking. Deciding to go out on a limb, not like anyone would judge him for using a Fenton to figure out some weird shit, “maybe? Who knows what’s up with weirdos”, turning around and looking more directly at Danny, who’s looking at him with critical sharp eyes, “some guy going off about drinking ‘oasis’ of blue and green. That my cat will like my feathers”.

Danny smirks knowingly and moves to wash his hands in the sink, “sounds like a riddle if I’ve ever heard one. Maybe think of who you associate with blue and who with green”, chuckling and shaking his head a little, locking eyes with Dash in the mirror again, “and who you think of as a ‘cat’. Otherwise, sounds like someone’s telling you to stop holding yourself back and chase after what you want”. Danny walks out leaving Dash just kind of staring at the sink.

Dash spends the rest of the day casting glances at Danny a fair bit more often than he usually does. Pretty well sure the boy knew what the strange guy meant but was just letting Dash figure it out himself. He finds he can respect that a bit, even if he’s definitely annoyed. The fact that Danny is seemingly brushing up against him in the hallways doesn’t help, or maybe it does. Because fine, yes he likes it. The fantasy of Danny being forward towards him in an attracted way won’t stop circling in his head. But it isn’t until the second to last class that something clicks. Watching Danny suddenly stiffening, like he often did before running off to the bathroom mysteriously, Dash could have sworn Danny’s face twisted in anger and eyes flashed green for a second as he stands and speed walks out of the classroom. Leaving Dash blinking and getting slapped by Deja Vu again. ‘Blue and green’, blinking more at that making other things click in place. Everything about Danny was lithe, he’d even described him as cat-like. Was weird dude telling him to get with Danny? The hell? How did weird guy even know that?

He guesses that’s one way for the universe or whatever to say something’s fate or some bullshit. But real life doesn’t work like that...right? Well okay, ghosts are real so there is some make-believe that’s real. But then Dash, Hell no one, would ever describe Danny as a bull. A bull that’s a cat, that doesn’t even make sense. Shaking his head as class ends.

Walking out thinking of soot and snow, and didn’t that guy also say something about heroes? Soot was black right? Googling away to find that yes it was, as he makes it to his next class. Of course snow was white. So black and white. Well shit, that was Danny and Phantom’s hair colours; and Phantom was a hero. Danny had organised that rescue mission, so could he be labelled ‘hero’ too. Not really, it was a one-time thing after all.

Groaning and hitting his head into the desk only for the teacher to snap at him about paying attention. Mentally shoving all this crap away, basically mentally screaming at it to sort itself out.

Seeing Danny after last class across the hall and walking towards Danny with a glare, because he absolutely needs to take out his romantically frustrated aggression and, if he’s honest, mentally frustrated aggression -because thoughts of that weirdo just will not leave him alone- on someone.

Dash grabs him and slams him into the lockers, speaking without a whole lot of power behind his worlds, because he’s more than a little preoccupied and Danny’s eyes glittering with mirth and knowing does not help, “you know, I kinda feel like making you eat locker, weirdo”.  

Danny speaks with a smirk, “weirdly cute you mean”. Dash sputters and promptly drops Danny, turning on his heel and speed walking off. Though he does throw a glance over his shoulder back at Danny, who looks more smug than anything he’s ever seen before; making Dash blush furiously and then feeling annoyed at blushing.

Dash decides that night that if his head’s just gonna be stuck in a pit of ‘just ask him, you know you want to’ and weird mutterings about painting with the lord of graves -whatever the heck that means- then he might as well finish his book. Well, his mom’s book but still. It seems suiting enough.

He flat-out drops the book when he gets to the point where Gadfly -an ageless fae who can see the future and all the twists and turns it might or might not take- functionally admits to setting up Isobel with Rook. The mortal with the inhuman prince, who -as Dash finishes the book with a fair amount of shock- comes to stand as the King of all fae. The lord of fae. The lord of graves? Was Danny some kind of ethereal prince? King? Or something? And heck! Gadfly was even blonde too! The Hell? And didn’t weird guy go off about Dash painting or something? Isobel’s a painter. Officially finding this a little too weird, Dash closes the book and tucks it away. Looking out the window and deciding that another -not really early enough to be morning but too early to be night- walk might get him more answers.

Somehow, Dash thinks as he watches Danny fiddling with a dandelion puff from afar on the same bridge as before, this isn’t surprising. Shaking himself off and making a point to shove down all the weird stupid feelings, before walking over with his hands in his pockets. “So you’re out here again”

Danny speaks without looking to him, “so are you”.

Dash scoffs and looks at his shoes a little, something tells him Danny wouldn’t be out wandering the night because of a book and some weird guy. The boy would probably handle it without being fazed much at all, “what? do you just wander around in the dead of night for fun?”.

Danny chuckles and side-eyes him, “maybe I do, maybe I don’t. Under the moonlight seems like a great place to be, don’t it?”.

Dash leans against the bridge railing, “it is ethereal I guess”.

Danny laughs and it’s a bit loud, “ethereal, that’s a big word for you. Now I wonder what could make you learn a word like that. Something so applicable to the strange and otherworldly”.

Dash bites his lip slightly at that, feeling incredibly called out, though ha! ‘Otherworldly’ was a word used for it. For people like Danny. Dash scoffs, “whatever, it’s got it’s uses”.

They stand in silence, both looking in opposite directions for a while. Until Dash blushes slightly at Danny humming, recognising the tune as Strangers In The Night.

Now Dash isn’t that much of an idiot, he’s not smart but he’s not dumb. He can recognise a blatant call out when he sees one. Danny knew. And...wasn’t being a dick about it, much. Wasn’t brushing him off. Dash isn’t sure if he’s confused by that or not.

Turning his head slightly to look at where the strange man had been last night before blurting out, “you’re mean”.

Danny laughs loudly at that and looks at Dash, who firmly avoids turning his head further to meet the gaze, “oh yes, says the bully. But you know what they say, ‘he only hits you ‘cause he likes you’”.

Dash jerks a bit and gapes, maybe he underestimated the boldness of Danny. While Danny sighs after a while of furthered silence, “it’s a darker night out hmmm? The darkness always holds something, a secretiveness to it. Where you can watch without being seen or act without being watched. In every story it crawls with monsters, things of depravity. Things people think are wrong, shouldn’t see the light of day. But those things are free in a sense that those who secluded themselves to daylight can never be. Monsters and those who hide, yet even they need to be brought into the sun sometimes. Wouldn’t you say?”.

Dash’s brain had stalled on the monster comment. That weird guy had gone off about monsters too. The whole him not fearing monsters or something? Danny was clearly weird, different. Didn’t people get called monsters in all those mutant movies over being different? And Phantom, well, the Fenton’s literally shouted that he was a monster. This was turning into some beauty and the beast shit. That makes him practically pitch forwards and face-plant into the ground.

Danny catches him and mutters, “geez, are you so repressed that the idea of not being so makes you want to eat the ground you walk upon?”.

Dash just blinks at him as he stands in front of him, because the whole thing with beauty and the beast was the beast transformed. Could look two different ways. And Danny’s eyes were green. Phantoms eyes were green. Danny raises his eyebrows at Dash sputtering at him, “that’s, it’s not, that ain’t”, Dash blinks, this explained a lot and Phantom was so bold, he took what he wanted, yet here he? -They? However it works- was seemingly waiting for Dash to make some kind of decisions thingy. Muttering, “have my cake and eat it too”.

Danny scrunches his face up and laughs, “I never imagined Dash would genuinely confuse me-”, getting cut off by Dash just saying screw it and kissing him, hard.

Dash pulling back but promptly hugging the weird ethereal creature, “I am so many levels of confused”. Danny just chuckles and pats his back, “yet maybe less in some way. Though you know, you really should ask first”.

Dash jerks and basically holds Danny by the shoulders away from him, Dash wasn’t that dumb of a guy but he was definitely a little stupid.

Danny rolls his eyes but smirks, batting off Dash hands before grabbing his shirt collar and kissing back, “you’re an idiot”.

Dash mutters, “you’re a weirdo”, as Danny backs off. After a bit of silence Dash looks at his feet and sticks his hands in his pockets, “so, uh, now what?”.

Danny shrugs and goes back to leaning on the railing, “I dunno, you work through your confusion I guess”, glancing at Dash, “just know that I am never a confused person anymore”.

Dash looks out across the park, well that was as blunt as anything. Why though? “I’ve literally beat the crap out of you for years. And,”, Dash worries his lip a little, blushing slightly from the unusual coldness on them, a coldness from Danny, “and you could have fought back anytime”.

Danny gives him a knowing look before smirking a little, “so you figured that out too huh?”.

Dash doesn’t give him a chance to say anything more, “as of two seconds or whatever ago. My head is mud”, Dash barely cuts himself off from saying ‘congrats’ or ‘thanks’. Who the Hell says that to some who just kissed them?

Danny screws up his face and it honestly looks like something out of a bad movie where the characters make some great discovery. When he chuckles and shakes his head, “so that’s what you meant by the cake thing”, squinting at Dash a little, “now you know I have to ask this, but knowing isn’t why you did that, is it?”.

Dash doesn’t know whether to nod or shake his head because both would be a lie, “I just figured out my two, um, interests, were smashed into one. Excuse me for not being myself, or whatever, enough and pleased, to have some self-control”.

Danny smiles at that, shoving Dash’s shoulder lightly, “lucky you I guess. Who’d you like more?”.

Dash sputters, Danny was a little much, always was, but that’s part of what he liked about him. The fearlessness, the hard sharpness, and he was cutting Dash the Hell up, “you”, Dash keeps talking as Danny raises his eyebrows, “Danny”, continuing when Danny raises his brows further, “Fenton. The weird lithe kid with sharp edges and the whole pixie thing going on”. Dash looks around some, ignoring the slight smirk on Danny’s face.  

Danny bumping shoulders with him, “oh fancy words Dash. You know I love words with meanings, that I love to give out nicknames. Maybe you should be Teddy Bear”. Dash blushes more than a bit furiously at that which just makes Danny laugh, “oh yes, that will do wonderfully”. Danny sighing after a while of Dash blushing and staring defiantly into the distance, “not that we have to be public about... whatever this is”.

Dash looks back to him at that, nodding slightly, “that is...why I never would have tried normally. Weird dude threw me through a loop”, smiling a little and shoving Danny lightly, “I think I’m glad he did though”.

Danny nods, “if there’s anyone who can understand secrets Dash, especially for safety’s sake, it’s me”, gesturing around, “night seems to suit us. It’s always been something of mine. There’s not really anything wrong with hiding in the night, if you care to join me in that anyway”.

Dash gapes a little, that felt like a stupid question. Why would he question if Dash wanted this to be a ‘thing’. Dash should be the one worried about that, “yes. That is- why would you even ask that?”.

Danny chuckles and gives him a smile that’s got a sadness to it, which Dash is officially having none of and feeling more like his rather brazen self, just kisses him again before he can respond. Dash then saying, “it doesn’t matter”.

Danny chuckles and shakes his head a little, “you sure watch me a lot huh. Like what you see?”, Dash forced down his blush this time while Danny smirks and glances around with that searching look before looking back to him, “care to see how I own my night?”.

Dash just nods a little before going slightly slack-jawed at the near blinding ring of light and Danny suddenly being Phantom and just floating around to be away from the bridge slightly, holding a hand out to Dash, “well? I could rip off superman and say I promise not to drop you or you can stop holding yourself back”.

Dash barely wastes a second before grabbing Danny’s hand and letting him pull him up off the ground. Dash asking the only other question he really has or that’s still bugging him as Danny wraps his arms around him and just...goes up, “so weird guy also said something about king of graves?”.

Danny laughs and shakes his head a little, “that cheeky bastard”, before looking down at Dash’s face, “Ghost King, Dash. Something beyond what any ghost or mortal could be”.

Dash again feels slapped by Deja Vu, he’s never going to be able to look at that damn book the same again, “you know, I was reading a book where...”.

Dash winds up explaining his ‘girly’ book interests as they fly around, oddly unfazed and comfortable with the whole fly thing. While Danny simply exists as the strange ethereal being he is, face glowing brightly against the night sky; leaving Dash feeling like he just caught a star in a wishing bottle and think that maybe poetry might be a good idea.

End.

#danny phantom #phandom #phangoweek19 #phango19 #danny fenton #dash baxter #romance #swagger bishie #ghost king Danny #clockwork #identity reveal #homophobia #acceptence #phantomphangphucker #have a fic suck my dick #my writing #clockwork is just out here setting people up

[ofgeneticperfection]

Random Ask Time - Can you just talk to me all about Hojo and also about Isrieal's opinion of Hojo. And what you think of ShinRa in general. I WANT ALL THE OPINIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh boy you asked for it with this one. Someone actually wants to hear me talk about him?? I've been limited to having 15mins per day to talk about him in my discord by friends. Jokingly of course xD I think <<. Anyway! Let me get to this.

So my opinions on him. I honestly think he's one of the best villains I've ever seen. He's done SO much. It honestly boggles my mind to actually sit back and think how many people's lives have been affected by this man. Like, you could literally play the 3 degrees of Kevin Bacon game with him no joke. Everyone knows someone whose life has been fucked up by Hojo at some point and...I LOVE it. 

I've always loved villains and I love Sci-Fi and he's sort of both themes with the weird alien experiments and what not and labs have always been so cool to me. Not to mention his personality is perfect for the role that he plays. Like god damn. I've never seen it done so perfect before. He just gives zero fucks about what anyone thinks and he's always in control. He's so damn good at being manipulative. You have to admit its impressive how long he's survived without anyone killing him for his horrible things and the reason for that is?? He knows how to be in control of every situation and how to manipulate EVERYONE in just the right way. You have to admit that's impressive as hell. I'm so glad the remake added so much more of him so we could see this too, and I hope it continues to add more of him because he's sorta of a major thing to the whole plot! We wouldn't even have FF7 if it wasn't for him after all. Yeah, he'll always be my favorite.

(This got super long so Im putting the rest under a cut but all you out there might find it interesting so feel free to click and read)

Anyway! Let me get to Isrieal's opinion on him. I wrote up something like that already here in this post, but I feel that no matter how many times I write about it I can always explain it better so I don't mind how many times I have to do it. 

Isrieal's opinions/existence with the Professor is probably the most toxic thing I've ever seen in my life and sometimes I question what the hell I'm even writing. Lol. Of course she used to absolutely hate him at first with how he experimented on her and wouldn't let her go and all that. She's got a damn strong spirit and personality though and honestly I think he's the only one that can manage to control her to some degree. So it sort of works. She tends to drive people crazy but she can't drive crazy what already IS crazy.

As much as I used to not admit it I do think she developed some sort of Stockholm Syndrome (among other psychological syndromes) due to her only knowing that life and how much he's absolutely gotten into her head and manipulated her over the years. She thinks shes 'fine'. She'll say shes fine, but she's really not fucking fine at all and she's so damn delusional at this point that she'll never see that. 

She still holds hatred for him on some degree that she's swallowed waaay down like she does with most of her negative emotions. Yet she's also developed a need of him, an obsession and drive to be noticed. I really don't think she could survive on her own because she's been so used to him telling her what to do or having everything taken care of for her at ShinRa and the labs, but that's besides the point. She literally thinks she needs him to survive and he's probably instilled this in her so she wouldn't run over the years.

She also thinks she owes him her life since he had saved hers. He brought her back to health after she had fallen in mako, only to experiment on her of course, but she'd still be dead without him so now she keeps him alive in turn. If anything will set her off to hell and back its' anyone that threatens Hojo or says anything bad about him and if she deems you as a threat to him she'll probably fucking destroy you....or your mind at least. She's more someone whose going to torture you until you break unless you're right there with a sword ready to take him down, then she just might have to kill. That's rare. Obviously.

She's also got this sick obsession that she needs to be perfect and she needs his attention. She's seen what happens to failures and she never wants to become that. He also used this to manipulate the hell out of her. A good way to reign her back in if she's too out of control is him threatening to cast her out or call her imperfect. It really gets to her but that's what psychology does. She also goes to no ends to get his attention whether it be good or bad. Praise is always best but if his attention is on other things she'll sometimes purposely piss him off, so even if he's hurting her that's still a good thing because at least his attention is on HER and its sort of ...disgusting lol. She always wants to be the best she always wants to be perfect and she always wants to be the favorite experiment.

She'll defend everything he does even if she's hurt or broken over it. She's so twisted she even sees him as some type of God figure, he does create life after all, with just his hands alone. She's really just out of her goddamn mind an a crazy psychotic mess and it's all his fault. (As Lady Gaga's 'Monster' goes; he really ate her brain.) But she's also crazy intelligent and that's scary too.

She's only known him her whole life since she lost memories prior to the accident so naturally she's adapted a lot of his traits. She's just as sly and manipulative but sometimes to a scarier degree. She even knows how best to work him to some degree as well but he won't always tolerate her shit and even though she could wipe him out if she really wanted he always manages to get the upper hand on her. 

Now she doesn't always agree with what he does and that's a massive internal struggle. There are others she doesn't want to see hurt and there's times she'll freak out and throw up over things. Like Chadley...she hated he used a child for an experiment and half blames herself for not stopping him. When something sets her off she feels everything she once swallowed and ignore and all those emotions sort of spill out all at once throwing her into these psychotic fits of emotion. 

She's also really damn loyal so I guess that's why he trusts her so much and appointed her to assistant director. He only trusts her with all those dirty lies and secrets to help handle the department and the public so that he doesn't have to waste his time. I feel that covers MOST of it because this could go on forever.

If any Hojo remotely finds this interesting they just need to DM the hell out of me and not be afraid of me adapting to a plot. Like GEEZ. 

Anyway hope you got what you asked for! LOL.

Oh shit I forgot to mention ShinRA!!!

It's her home and the only one she's ever know. She may not like everyone it or agree with all things but she chooses to ignore those. She's more loyal just to the labs but she does like the building. She's sort of learned how to work the system and others around her to her favor, especially since she has a bigger role in the company now. There's a lot of strange rumors that go around about her but she likes it. She likes to let people think what they want to think because that way no one ever knows the truth or what she can really pull off. She also loves to make deals to get what she wants and often provides a fair trade at that. Please play with this concept!

In the end, I think she loves being there it's sort of her life after all.

#holy crap #im so mad i had to do this TWICE so I hope my rewrite is good since the first got deleted #thanks for putting up with this #you asked for it #any Professor's out there interested yet in this world of insanity???!!! #thanks for WANTING to know more too #i love it #gyahahahaha #Analysis Complete #Hojo #Professor Hojo