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alcoholfreenayeon · 23 days

Text

Cruel

Mina x Reader

CW: Angst, suggestion of infidelity

Word count: 2600

Synopsis: The happiness of love lasts for seconds but the pain of love lasts a lifetime.

You took a deep breath as you twisted and turned around in your bed, trying to find the perfect position or at least the most comfortable one. The perfect position was of course when Mina was here with you where one of you would lay on top of the other, cuddling and spooning all night long. Your pillow would have to do for now though.

But it’s not enough, an hour passes by, and you are still restless, trying to sleep. You sigh and sit up, its useless to keep doing this, you pick up your phone and look through your texts, she still hasn’t seen your messages. ‘She must be really busy with the final show I guess.’, you conclude. You scroll through your various social media apps for the next hour or so before you receive a text back from her. You can’t stop smiling all of a sudden, her tour is over and that means she’s going to be back home soon. You don’t even bother seeing her text and just straight up facetime her. She doesn’t pick up. That’s a bit odd. You ring her again and this time she picks up, immediately you can tell that there is a lot going on, you hear lots of cheering and chatting and finally her face appears, and you feel your world light up, she looks really beautiful but also seems tired. “Hi”, Mina finally says with a small smile.

You bombard her with questions, and she does her silly little laugh as she updates you on some things that happened today and then explains she has to go and quickly ends the call. You feel a lot more at ease though despite the abrupt ending, after all her smile is all that you need, as you think about all the things she said, you drift off to sleep.

The next day you can’t stop feeling excited, Mina was going to be back home. You had made her some dessert and planned to order food from the favorite place, knowing she would be home soon. A few hours later she finally comes back, and you immediately jump at her, hugging her tightly unwilling to let go. It had been a month, a little more than a month even and now finally she was here again. She seemed a bit surprised by your sudden display of affection, but she did hug you back and let go after a moment, eager to come back into the house. You let her get changed and soon enough the two of you are on the sofa, cuddled up, ready to watch a movie when both of your stomachs growl and you realize you didn’t order food yet. You look for your phone but can’t find it and remember it was on your bed.

“You want the usual?”, you ask her, peeking through the doorway.

“Y-uh-yes!”, Mina answers hurriedly with a polite smile and puts her phone down. Odd. But anyway, the food arrives sometime later, and you both eat well. You hold her lovingly from behind and start to give her quick kisses but she pulls away looking…disappointed? You couldn’t tell, you hadn’t seen Mina like this before. “What?”, you ask confused by her lack of reciprocation.

“Nothing, I am just tired” she says, getting up, “I think I’ll go to bed”.

You give her a smile, but it did sting a bit to get turned down like that. But you give her a break, she’s been travelling a lot and her tour and everything, it does make sense that she’s a bit on the edge and just wants some rest. You finish the movie and head off to bed too about 30 minutes later only to find Mina wide awake, smiling happily while seemingly texting someone. “Baby, you aren’t asleep yet?”, you ask, offering her a small smile.

Mina suddenly looks up in a bit of panic like a deer staring at headlights, you hear the click of her phone as she shuts it down and just gives you an innocent look, but she might as well have stabbed you right there because you knew that look. That’s the look she has when she’s caught doing something doesn’t want you to know about. What was she trying to hide? Like, yes, granted, the last time it was your birthday present but that time all you felt was playful curiosity. This time you didn’t feel any time of playfulness or even curiosity, just dread. Your birthday was a couple months away so it’s not your present and your anniversary happened already so it’s not that either.

But you say nothing, you were being probably paranoid anyway. You get in bed and Mina shifts a bit towards you and you put your arm around her, your paranoia disappearing as you feel her skin and warmth and fall asleep with her.

The next couple of days went by smoothly, no more incidents and you were really beginning to think that you were just being extremely paranoid but for some reason your gut kept telling you otherwise. Today, you didn’t have work and were going to be extremely bored because Mina had to go for a meeting. You decide to play some video games to pass the time and in between rounds you notice Mina had put up a story but before you could see it the round started, and you focused on that instead. After the match you went to look for it, but it was gone…? Maybe something she posted by accident.

Anyway, the hours fly by and soon you hear the doorbell ring and it’s Mina, you open the door for her but before you can even smile, she just rushes past you, avoiding you. You are really taken aback by that, was she ok? You go behind her only to see she’s already in the shower. You feel panic building in your chest, something was wrong, you could feel it but what. You couldn’t tell what exactly was wrong, but you intended to find out, you think about how she just wouldn’t use her phone around you since she came back and decide that maybe the answer is on her phone and look for it. It was of no use, Mina had taken it with her in the bathroom.

But now you were certain that she was hiding something, she had to be, her sudden bursts of coldness, her lack of affection, her secretiveness and what she did just now. It was almost like she didn’t want you here, like she didn’t love you as much anymore.

You waited for her to shower, sitting in the living room, thinking what you should say to her when you hear the door open, she was finally out. But now that the moment of truth was awaiting, you couldn’t move, it felt like your feet were sinking into the floor, the air was heavy, and everything was just telling you to stop. You couldn’t move and then Mina came down to you, hugging you tightly, “Y/N im sorry. I feel like ive been a bit cold with you recently. I don’t know if you noticed that, I’ve just been tired and now my social battery was really low. I’ll try to do better now.”. Her words sounded reassuring, but you felt no sign of reassurance, instead you felt even more dread. Her words felt so hollow. You pulled away from her and she gave you a small smile. But why did that smile have no sign of happiness in it.

“Mina be honest with me.”, you say seriously. Why did she become so stiff upon hearing that. “Are you hiding something from me?”.

She doesn’t say anything, she doesn’t meet your eyes and she takes a heavy breath like she’s trying to calm herself down, “Well no, I told you I was just stressed these-”, there’s a buzz on her phone and you both turn to look at it, its just a notification from some app but she quickly turns her phone away. Not because of the notification itself but because of what was behind it, her wallpaper, a picture of her with someone very familiar, someone who Mina previously admitted to having a crush on. Someone who she said wouldn’t ever be a problem between you both. She purses her lips nervously while you look at her in disbelief. Is that why she immediately kept her phone shut upon seeing you? Deep down you knew that wasn’t the entire truth, but you couldn’t bring yourself to accept it. It just couldn’t be true, right? You didn’t do anything wrong. You loved more than you loved anyone ever, you cared for her, you did everything for her. So why…why did it feel like it wasn’t enough. Why did it feel like it was all for nothing. You feel tears building up and you look at her in pain and Mina finally decides to speak.

“Y/N listen, don’t cry, don’t be upset please. Just listen to me. It’s not what you…think.”, she didn’t sound very convincing, “Its nothing, you don’t have to worry about it. I still love you and care for you and don’t ever think otherwise. I hope it’s the same for you towards me too”.

“Why would it be different for either of us”, you ask shakily.

“It’s just…during one of our after parties, I-she may have kissed me”, Mina admitted, and you felt your heart break.

“Did she kiss you or did you kiss her?”, you ask, your fists clenched.

Mina kept quiet. “I don’t remember…”, she replies, looking away.

You couldn’t believe it, you try to stand up, but she stops you, “Y/N please, don’t be mad, it was a mistake, we were drunk, it didn’t mean anything”, She pleaded.

“Why should I believe you anymore”, you ask her, your voice breaking, and you begin to cry.

She tries to hug you, but you push her away, she wasn’t even trying to defend herself anymore. She just kept repeating that it meant nothing and was just a drunk thing to do but you didn’t believe her. And it looked like you were right for that because when Mina saw that she wasn’t convincing you her defensiveness stopped and she began to lash out. “FINE. Believe what you want. You don’t know what happened. And if it bothers you so much, maybe”, she hesitates, “Maybe we should take a break then. So you can clear your head”.

You nearly began to sob again upon hearing that, how could she say that. How could she keep on refusing to accept that she was wrong and keep making excuses. Did she not love you anymore? Did-did she love her more? Did it even matter anymore?

As you tormented yourself with these thoughts, Mina stormed off to the bedroom. You just wanted the world to stop, why was this happening. What did you do to get so much pain inflicted upon you. You heard the door to the entrance open, and then slam shut.

Did Mina really just leave? You get up weakly, another feeling of dread and even regret passing over your entire body as you search for her in the house and indeed, she had gone. She was serious about the break.

The two of you didn’t talk for the remainder of the day. It was only the next day that you received a text from her. It didn’t say much, only that you should take the week to think about it and if you saw sense as she put it, she would move back in or else it would be better for something to happen. She couldn’t even say it to you. But it didn’t matter to you anymore. Nothing did really. You feel like you just lost everything. She kissed her, she hid it from you, she wanted a break, she stormed off and she seemed to have stopped caring at all and even then, she couldn’t bring herself to say that she wanted to break up. Why. Why did she want to put that burden on you. To make it look like it would be your doing. What went wrong. What happened to the sweet girl you fell in love with. This wasn’t her, this couldn’t be her. The Mina you knew, the Mina you fell in love, where was she...

You didn’t get out of bed for hours, all you could do think. Finally, you decided to play some games to distract yourself. It had only been a few minutes, but you received a notification. You ignored it. Then you received a text and as you tried to keep playing your game to keep yourself distracted, you got yet another one. You didn’t even need to see it to know what it was, this was almost like a 6th sense for you. And upon checking it, it was what you expected…Mina posted another story with that girl again. The one who you didn’t have to worry about. The one who was just a friend. The one who had her heart. And of course, you felt shade thrown towards you. And that hurt so much. How? How come it’s so easy for her to move on. To find happiness. To forget…

You decide to check your texts too and to your surprise it was from her, “Can you make your mind already? Mina wants to move on but only if you agree. It’s kind of annoying really. Just forget about her at this point and back off. She’s mine”. You felt anger rise and your heart break once more, this just made it sound like a lot of what Mina said was a lie or just a half truth. Yet, you still couldn’t bring yourself to tell Mina that it’s over.

The cruelty of love is so unforgiving and cold yet if she told you she loved you right now, you would take her back right away, knowing full well that it’s just a matter of time before she smashes the shattered pieces of your broken heart once again….

You decide that you need to talk to her, maybe give her one last chance, maybe she’ll see some sense, realize her mistake, and apologize. Afterall weren’t you her darling, weren’t you her other half? Shaking, you call her and surprisingly enough, she picks up almost instantly. “Hello…”, you greet her weakly.

“Y/N”, she says calmly, “I think…it’s best if we stop the break”.

“R-really?”, you say in shock, was Mina coming back?

“Yes. I think its best if we just break up instead. I feel like you’ve changed a lot recently and I don’t like it. Don’t stress about it too much. It’s not entirely your fault but yeah. I think it’s done. I’ll come to collect my stuff soon”, she announces without any regret. She waits for a few seconds for you to say something, but you were too stunned to speak. So, she just cut the call and left you there all alone once more.

You feel tears flow down your face and you fall back against the wall, crying. Why is doing your best not good enough? Why is your love not strong enough? Why is your heart not hers? You would do anything, anything to stop the two of you from falling apart. Even if it meant taking on the entire burden yourself. Even when she hurt you. You still loved her. All you wanted was for her to love you back the same way you loved her and she didn’t. She wouldn't even do that...

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