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ruinedbylanadelrey · 1 year

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Hi can I please request Joel miller x plus!size reader so Joel and the reader used to date before Joel cheated on her with one of his co-workers and the reader moved on with a guy named Roman and he was physically abusive to the reader he hit her and she has bruises that were still healing because during the outbreak roman died by getting shot by some people that were killing healthy people she made it by driving away from the situation so when Joel and Ellie are on their way to Joel’s brother they run into the reader who was staying with bill and frank cus bill was a friend of the readers dad before he passed so bill protected her when the outbreak happened the reader was inside the house in her room and she told Joel and Ellie that bill and frank were dead and she gave them the note he left so when they get to the city Joel talks to the reader to apologize for cheating on her but the reader tells Joel that it’s in the past Ellie noticed a jacket on the reader and noticed how the reader never took it off the reader didn’t take off the jacket because she was asked of her body and she kept it on to hind the bruises on her wrists so when they get to Tommy’s town Joel confesses his fillings he kept hidden since the day she left soon Joel finds out about the bruises he gets overprotective of the reader sconce he saw them maybe for the end they fix things and get back together.

Joel Miller begging is my favorite to write;)

Man has to beg to get her back. She's been through hell n back but life isn't always on your side.

you can't get always get what you want, especially in a messed-up world.

also, I love when everyone is connected in one way or another.

i wanted to give an unhappy ending, so i'm sorry if that's not what you wanted.

warnings: mention of cheating, death, domestic abuse, slight religious imagery

masterlist

part 2

You've never had the best of luck with men. They have always disappointed you in some way. You tend to fall in love with the idea of them you make up in your head. Dating also wasn't easy for being plus size, people hardly looked your way. Dating wasn't a thing anymore since the outbreak, your two last relationships ending badly, Joel cheated on you and then Roman, the abusive piece of shit was shot by Bill.

Joel Miller was the love of your life, you still love him and hope that he is still alive. You were angry with yourself for even loving him after you were cheated on but you both were young and stupid so it never seemed like the worst thing in the world that happened to you. You dated before the outbreak and when you ended things with him so you moved up to Massachusetts to a town a little bit outside of Boston and lived with Bill a close family friend and that is where you met Roman. The biggest mistake of your life.

When the outbreak happened Bill took you in, he was going to leave your boyfriend out to die but you begged Bill to let him stay because at the time he was your happiness. Of course, Bill has a soft spot only for you he said yes and had a lot of terms and conditions for the young man to follow.

Roman and Bill were at each other's throats every other day for years, and when Frank, Joel, and Tess came into the picture, things turned for the worse. You were stunned to see Joel alive and well but broke you a little when you realized Tess was his. When Roman found out about the history of you and Joel it turned him into someone who you didn't recognize.

Bill and Frank are telling you to need to let the man go because he wasn't good to you and treated you like an object rather than a person. You spent years of your life scared to speak out because the abuse was hard to escape especially when he lived with you. Bill and Frank gave you options on how to handle it but you never made a choice.

Your choice was made when Bill found you bruised up from a fight you had with the boyfriend. It was one of the final days you had with Frank and Bill so you were trying to make the most of it. Bill knew he couldn't leave you with Roman alive. He had to make sure you would be safe after he and Frank died. It was the last thing he had to take care of being passed on.

It wasn't like a cold-blooded murder but it was justice for you. You should be sad and crying but when Roman died it was like you could breathe again. But when you had the two people who take care of you as parents passed away you found yourself not being able to breathe again. Every day you hoped that Joel heard to radio and was on his way. You brought yourself out of grief and realized that everything is going to be okay and no one has to suffer anymore.

"Bill? Frank?...darlin'?" Joel's voice boomed through the house, your heart skipped a beat at the name he still called you after all these years. You always told him that he needed to stop calling you that. You made your way down the stairs and found a young girl sitting at the dining room table, you looked around for Joel but he was gone into the kitchen. You had the letter in your hands, it was the letter to give to Joel or whomever in the words of Bill and Frank. "They're gone, aren't they?" the young girl asked and you handed over the letter to her for her to read.

"Ellie?" Joel's voice was down the hall, and he walked into the dining room to see you standing right in front of him, your eyes told the whole story. "It's from Bill," Ellie spoke softly, "To whomever, but probably Joel," she continued to read the letter, and you set the truck key on the table. "So they're dead?" Joel grumbles and doesn't look at you and she nods, Ellie stopped speaking when your and Tess's name were brought up.

Joel takes the letter from her hands and walks out of the house. You followed him out the door, you felt the need to console him. "Joel," You tried to rub his back but he walked away from you before you could even get in reaching distance from him. You watched him go to the garage, you sighed and went back into the house. Ellie was still sitting in the dining room, and you were about to walk past her when she asked if you were the woman he knew from Texas. "Yeah," you answered before you disappeared to your room upstairs.

Joel was battling with himself on what to do with you because he didn't want to leave you behind but he didn't want to make you up and leave everything behind. "Darlin'..." Joel knocks on your bed as he's opening it. You were putting some bruising ointment to help with the mark that was left on your body.

You jumped when Joel walked into the room, he looks at the bruising on your arms. You tugged down the sleeves of your shirt "They are healing...he's dead so you can leave here without being worried about me." You crossed your arms across your chest. You wanted to leave with him but would it be a good idea? You have everything here and the only place you know since the world changed.

Joel felt like the universe giving him another chance with you. He had one shot to make things right with you. "I can't leave you here. I know you're not weak but you can't go against the world by yourself." you hated how right he was because what if you were at the mercy of someone's gun? You wanted Joel to stay so you could have a life with him again, you guys have this safe haven, an Eden that the universe has given you. "Joel, I can't leave...I don't know if I can give myself to you again." Your words ran over him, he would move mountains to have you with him once again. "You have Ellie and have to get to her somewhere, you need another person to take care of, your hands are full." You sat on the edge of the bed and can't believe the words leaving your mouth.

"I'm always going to be right here, so if you come back, we could try again." You said to Joel who was just quiet. He would never return because once the journey with Ellie is over and he finds Tommy, he will never turn around and make his way. Joel knew better than argue with you because you were stubborn. Why would you want to leave this slice of heaven? "Please come with me...this is our chance...our time together." Joel kneels at your feet talking to you like he was in prayer, he wanted to be all that you need.

"Please, obviously we are meant to be, you believe in the universe and it's a sign...you being here in this garden of Eden and me finding you again...it's all a sign." You heard Joel's voice crack. You always did believe in signs but you were tired of having them disappoint you. Joel kissed your knees just taking in how you felt.

He was your life, the reason you kept going. Joel always seemed like the answer to your prayers. "I'll be right here," You declared, Joel felt betrayed by god when his pleads fall on deaf ears.

#joel miller #joel tlou #joel the last of us #joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader

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guideaus · 1 year

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That post mentioning apocalyptic media and someone mentioning hbo's tl*u actually reminds me though, with trigun I saw a post in the tag that said this

(i'm assuming this is abt tl*u hbo, since why would someone be talking abt this in 2023, otherwise) And absolutely no offense to the op, they probably just meant it as "what if they were happy together and choose to be with each other and die together", but its just kind of crazy that the other day i was lamenting that trigun stampede wasnt more diverse compared to a series that came out in the 90s, i even said she ra's reboot spoiled me, but other people seem to think what hbo did with tl*u concerning "rep" is... good?

trigun's main conflict arises from knives. its a sci-fi story where it went that route of humans had to leave earth due to ruining it in some way and they seek to colonize a new plant. knives learns humans created plants and didnt see them as equals, they tortured tesla, so he decides to try and damn humanity. his plan doesnt entirely work, and later the plants are used as an energy source, being the only thing keeping humans alive on a planet not originally meant to sustain them. there are a limited number of plants and no alternatives, leading to people constantly fighting over them to survive. knives uses this as an example people are bad, despite him being the one to cause these circumstances and the conflict on the planet. vash, our star, is his extreme opposite, constantly seeing the best in humanity, shouting love and peace, admiring acts of good will, and is staunchly against violence. wolfwood is constantly stuck between the two ideologies in multiple ways, he's good at heart, but keeps getting put in situations where he's forced to do bad things until he breaks free.

in tl*u, bill is an american libertarian who survives the apocalypse and is a loner, hoarding goods, and booby trapping an entire town so he can survive. he is constantly paranoid for enemies, no matter who it is, and is actively against helping people. he had a partner named frank, who eventually got fed up and left due to his attitude and ends up killing himself while bill continues to bitterly live alone and tells the main character to get out of his town after begrudgingly helping him. the difference in hbo's adaptation is that they turned their relationship into a full fledged romance. bill finds frank in one of his traps and decides to make an exception and help him. frank gets close and they start a relationship. nothing changes about bill's attitude and way of life, though. the show creates a connection between bill and the main character joel by frank convincing them to meet up bc frank is tired of bill's behavior, and that's about the extent of their relationships outside each other. they exist like that for a long time. i think eventually raiders attack once, frank ends up getting sick, then bill decides to join him and they both kill themselves. the general response for this change from the original is positive, saying even if it was tragic, it was better because they had a whole romance before (even if he still kills himself in the end). here is a really good article discussing it better than i could, also mentioning the director being a zionist.

i think vash and wolfwood suddenly being like frank and bill would be flat out bad. myself and many others wish that the end of trigun felt happier, he starts out the series getting hunted down out of misunderstandings, his brother tries to enlist him in hating humanity, vash cant even hide away because he has to learn that knives is still killing people and the only one who could do anything about it is vash, and he has very few close relationships in the beginning. the end of trigun doesnt resolve those things, in fact it attempts to parallel the beginning framing it in an apparently resolved way, when you just cant accept it that way, vash still being on the run and w/o a strong support system isnt good, he also lost his new best friend and brother. Wolfwood also has people who imagine him not dying, his entire arc is thinking he's damned for his actions, and his final act is sacrificing himself for others. I can understand why people would imagine a happier version for these two, but i dont think what happens with bill and frank is it. Vash desperately wants to connect with people, wolfwood does as well, they're both charitable, friendly, and care about others, and that inherently conflicts with the "hermit actively warding people in need off his property while taking any remaining resources" thing going on.

I've complained about trigun stampede's lack of diversity, and even how trigun's manga seems to have diverse characters, but then said characters are almost exclusively antagonists, but i dont think this fantasy would exactly be a win, lol. I said its bad because it politically disagrees with their beliefs, but its bad in regards to "representation", too. I'm gonna pretend tristamp doesnt exist atm, bc thats a convo for a diff post, but i've thought about this a lot and the manga does have characters that are disabled, trans, women, etc., but they are just about entirely antagonists. Normally, I would say that's a red flag, and this might not be any better, but somehow i feel like the 90s-2000s type of character is better? just for this hypothetical au like tristamp did do what tl*u's reboot did, it feels very similar to disney's "here's our first ever gay character!" for the 20th time. the extreme focus on representation, not thinking about the characters themselves, and druckmann obviously has his own political agenda he's pushing, but it truly is just an evolved version that's full on pinkwashing.

nightow's characters werent perfect (in fact i firmly believe he did it almost in a fetishizing way, thinking these things made them cool without being serious about those specific aspects), but i'd vastly prefer that over pinkwashing. this is probably a lot to type up for some rando's post, but it does kinda suck that the internet seemingly overall thinks positively of that depiction. and not to also compare a completely unrelated thing, but a lot of chinese fiction will have lgbt characters be kind of "vague" and a lot of western fans will criticize it as if censorship and tokenism is the same thing? i dont think characters need to be explicitly romantic to trump everything else they do. i also dont know if fandom's obsession with shipping is relevant, but vash being surrounded by friends isnt exactly a bad outcome, either... i think that post did mention them possibly interacting with the orphanage again, but i think its kind of another example the general viewer for that ep just looked at frank and bill thriving and went "nice." instead of like... thinking abt what they were actually doing

#personal #not to be like 'random person's post was WRONG' but i do kind of feel like that episode set us back in a way FJSDJSK #this is less of a rant abt trigun and more hbo's tl*u. but just the fact im seeing it brought up w trigun im like. hm! these things have #nothing to do with each other haha...#and ik its probably an example of two media a person is currently consuming but the thought that this ep was like. historic #a more in depth rant could go on my other blog but yea. saw this in the trigun tag so.

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kylo-renakin · 4 years

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Death in Star Wars, and How Ben Solo Was Shafted: A Mini Meta

Something has been bothering me about Ben’s death in The Rise of Skywalker. While I’m upset that he died, I echo the sentiments of other fans that just as offensive was the way that he died and how his death was treated in the context of the film. It bothered me because death has always been a part of Star Wars, but usually handled much better.

And so this meta was born.

I will be doing a brief analysis of significant character deaths from the Star Wars movies. I don’t want to touch on all of them because there are simply too many, so I’ll focus on the ones that were either major characters (i.e. trio billing or main villain) or narratively important (i.e. Shmi Skywalker).

This list will be approached chronologically within the Star Wars universe, beginning with:

Qui-Gon Jinn; portrayed by Liam Neeson

Personal feelings: I cried like a baby. Qui-gon holds a special place in my heart. His death was both epic and sombre. It hurt to watch other main cast celebrating their victory after defeating their respective challenges and then cut to Obi-wan cradling his master’s head in his lap, crying.

Mode of death: Killed by Darth Maul at the end of The Phantom Menace. His actual death takes a few minutes of screen time, an outburst/scream from another main character (Obi-wan). He has last words to say to the person he has the closest on screen relationship with.

Aftermath: Held by a visibly devastated Obi-wan while he died. Sombre funeral pyre. Death discussed on screen by the council and Obi-wan.

Narrative purpose: To enable Anakin’s training under Obi-wan, which is pivotal to the overall arc of this trilogy. To provide a tangible loss and character growth for Obi-wan, who failed to save his master from a Sith--later mirrored by Obi-wan’s inability to save Anakin from becoming a Sith in Episode III, thereby providing a narrative ‘tail-end’ to Obi-wan’s journey in the trilogy. To cement the master/apprentice relationship as loving, emotional, familial, which then adds narrative depth to the bond between Obi-wan and Anakin. To introduce a cohesive theme of death, failure, and loss at the hands of the dark side that would pervade this trilogy.

Overall response: This death is both emotional and narratively important. It’s given the weight and time it deserves to have an impact on the characters.

Shmi Skywalker; portrayed by Pernilla August

Personal feelings: Rough acting aside, watching a person die in their family member’s arms is always sad. It’s an extremely dark moment in a film that otherwise leans heavily into romance, action, and detective-mystery storytelling.

Mode of death: Tortured by Tusken Raiders. Died from her injuries. Again, her actual death takes a couple of minutes of screen time. She is able to say some last words to her son, the most important character relationship for this character.

Aftermath: Dies in the arms of her visibly devastated son. Anakin murders the Tuskens for revenge. On screen funeral where she is mourned and memorialized by her family/loved ones.

Narrative purpose: To drive Anakin further to the dark side by taking advantage of his love and compassion and turning this into anger and hate (revenge against the Tuskens). To plant the seeds of Anakin’s inability to save the ones he love. To emphasize his failure to keep his promise to return to his mother and free her. (Despite being freed off screen, she essentially died in captivity anyway, and Anakin was not the one to free her.) To further the cohesive themes of the trilogy: death, failure, loss, the power of the dark side.

Overall response: While not as moving for me personally as Qui-gon’s death, it has a very relevant thematic purpose and furthers the story. Shmi’s death is given adequate time on screen and we are able to observe the responses and aftermath of that loss.

Padme Amidala; portrayed by Natalie Portman

Personal feelings: We make jokes about how she lost the will to live, but her funeral was beautiful and Natalie’s delivery of the line “you’re going down a path I can’t follow” feels extremely important in this story.

Mode of death: Up for debate. She has lost the will to live after giving birth to Luke and Leia in the wake of Anakin’s fall to the dark side. Some have theorized that her life force was taken (or given?) to keep Anakin alive, but this is not made explicit in the movies. She dies beside Obi-wan Kenobi, and has the time to say last words--words of hope for Anakin’s eventual redemption. Her death itself takes several minutes and is followed up with screen time for a funeral where characters acknowledge her death.

Aftermath: The gorgeous and enormous funeral, mourned as a queen and a senator and a good woman. Anakin (as Darth Vader) mourns with a devastated and poorly acted “nooooo”.

Narrative purpose: To fulfill the themes of death, loss, and failure (Anakin’s failure to keep her alive) at the hands of the dark side. To provide a character loss that mimics the loss of democracy, freedom, and goodness that has fallen to Palpatine’s control. To provide a visual and narrative parallel between the death of Anakin (through the death of his love) and the birth of Darth Vader.

Overall response: While this death was definitely poorly handled it did have narrative significance and it was arguably necessitated by having to have this trilogy line up with the original trilogy. Her short funeral was one of my favorites in the series.

Obi-wan Kenobi; portrayed by Sir Alec Guinness/Ewan McGregor

Personal feelings: I feel weird having an opinion about this one because this movie was made well before I was born, and so I didn’t feel a real connection to/nostalgia from these characters the way I did with the prequels and sequels. Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan was a huge part of my childhood, so watching A New Hope in retrospect makes this death sad for me.

Mode of death: Killed by Darth Vader/becomes one with the Force. Essentially sacrifices himself so that Luke doesn’t try to come after him.

Aftermath: Luke shouts “no!”. In a later scene, Luke further acknowledges his death--”I only wish Ben were here”. Ben is later seen as a Force ghost in Episodes V and VI, continuing to acknowledge his character’s death and ongoing influence on, importance to, and relationship with Luke.

Narrative purpose: To provide growth for Luke’s character as he grapples with losing a mentor and surrogate father figure who was also the last person (he believed) who was a link to Luke’s (supposedly) dead hero father that Luke looked up to--and setting us up for this narrative complication in VI. To demonstrate that the Jedi/good guys of the film win through self-sacrifice and not through anger, hate, or fear, which is very thematically resonant in this trilogy.

Overall response: Narratively meaningful, and the character’s death is immediately recognized. We get to see the response of the characters who he has the closest relationships with.

Yoda; portrayed by Frank Oz

(I just love The Last Jedi, okay??)

Personal feelings: It was kind of sad, in the way any person dying of old age is. It did feel more overtly spiritual than Obi-wan’s death.

Mode of death: Dies of old age, in his own home, in his own bed, with Luke beside him. His death scene lasts a few minutes and he has some last words.

Aftermath: We see Yoda again as a force ghost, which we are expecting as an audience since his body fades like Obi-wan’s did. There is sufficient closure. Luke is present for Yoda’s death and, at this point in the films, is the only character relationship Yoda has left alive--therefore this is the most significant his death can be to someone. Luke doesn’t look overly upset but this is not painted to be a sad death, as death by old age is usually more a fact of life and a nice reprieve from untimely losses.

Narrative purpose: Honestly, it’s been a long time since I watched the original trilogy so I’m kind of stretching here. I’m going to borrow from The Last Jedi and say that Yoda’s death allows Luke to grow beyond his master and stand on his own two feet as a fully autonomous agent of goodness. He no longer has the crutch of wise older men to lean on and must make his decisions on his own. Yoda’s death frees Luke to be the master of his own destiny, now knowing the truth of his parentage and no longer being guided by others to do what they think is best (kill Vader).

Overall response: One of the less impactful deaths in the series, but I do appreciate how it adds to Luke’s growth as a character and transition into Jedi Master.

Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader; portrayed by James Earl Jones, Hayden Christensen, and Jake Lloyd

Personal feelings: This is the big one™ of the trilogy, and it shows. Watching Luke trying to literally drag his father to safety is raw and heartbreaking. Seeing him unmasked for his son is chilling. The funeral pyre is beautiful. This definitely made me feel the feelings.

Mode of death: Sacrificed himself to kill Palpatine. Death lasts several minutes. Dies in Luke’s arms and Luke cries as he dies.

Aftermath: Funeral pyre. Force ghost Anakin bringing peace to Luke and cementing his redemption.

Narrative purpose: Too much to list! Reinforcing that good guys sacrifice themselves to protect the people they love. Bringing balance to the Force by killing the Emperor (thanks JJ for messing that up by the way). Finding peace with Obi-wan as a force ghost. Showing that the belief that people can be saved from themselves is validated. I’m sure there’s plenty more besides but this one is so narratively rich that it would take forever to mine.

Overall response: Extreme narrative importance. Basically ties together six movies. Emotional, beautiful, resonant.

Han Solo; portrayed by Harrison Ford

Personal feelings: Ouch, ouch, ouch! This was... this was angsty. I love angsty. I cannot possibly find adequate words to describe how well done this scene and this death was. One of my top three moments of The Force Awakens.

Mode of death: Struck through the chest with a lightsaber by his son, Ben Solo (under the alias of Kylo Ren), after an attempt to save him from the dark side and bring him home. His body falls into the pit on Starkiller Base.

Aftermath: So. Much. Rey screams “no!” Finn is visibly upset, too. Chewie roars in agony and shoots Kylo Ren with his bowcaster. Leia can be seen feeling Han’s death and cannot find the strength to keep standing. Kylo/Ben looks immediately shaken by what he has done. Rey and Leia share a sad hug at the end of the film. In The Last Jedi, reactions continue. Luke is shaken by the revelation of Han’s death and spends a quiet moment in the Falcon mourning him. Kylo/Ben’s reaction continues to spiral. Snoke, in one of my favorite lines in the film, announces that “the deed split [his] spirit to the bone”. Rey grieves Han and accuses Ben of hating him. Luke warns Kylo that he will always be with him, “just like [his] father”. Han’s shadow is felt all over The Last Jedi without him being present. Even without the further reactions in The Rise of Skywalker (Rey saying Ben is haunted by him, the literal memory scene on the Death Star), the impacts of Han Solo’s death are the most significant in the entire franchise.

Narrative purpose: To advance both internal and external character conflicts. Kylo killing Han provides an external conflict between him and the heroes--particularly between him and Rey as Rey yearns for parents who love her and Ben (seemingly) rejects/kills his that do. It also provides a meaty internal conflict for Kylo Ren/Ben Solo, who is the most nuanced villain I have ever seen in film. While Han’s death doesn’t seem to serve a main theme in The Force Awakens (it is my perspective that JJ does not have cohesive overarching themes in his two entries in the saga), it does blend in pretty well with The Last Jedi’s preoccupation with killing the past. The thematic takeaway from The Last Jedi is that you can’t and shouldn’t kill the past, you should learn from it and move on--and Kylo killing Han neatly fits into this theme by showing that Kylo tried to kill his past by killing his father, and yet he was unable to move on because of it.

Overall response: Poignant. Purposeful. Well-crafted. The effects are long lasting and felt throughout the trilogy. This is not a meaningless death. Of the entire saga, this is the death that is given the most acknowledgement.

Supreme Leader Snoke; portrayed by Andy Serkis

Personal feelings: I was on the edge of my fucking seat. This is not emotionally resonant because we don’t care about Snoke but it was huge and shocking and had these enormous narrative implications moving forward.

Mode of death: Cut in half by Kylo Ren while he narrates his own death.

Aftermath: The Praetorian guards spring into action to avenge their master. In a later scene, we see Snoke’s severed legs topple to the floor. Hux is visibly shaken and angry. Kylo Ren acknowledges the death (by blaming it on Rey) and takes Snoke’s position as Supreme Leader (”the Supreme Leader is dead”, “long live the Supreme Leader”). I’m... going to ignore how The Rise of Skywalker handled Snoke. It was unnecessary to have Snoke clones from a storytelling perspective. It added nothing to the narrative, just used as a clumsy way to justify that Palpatine was really pulling the strings all along.

Narrative purpose: To deepen the perceived conflict within Kylo Ren and showing his unwillingness to kill Rey. This further complicates their relationship moving forward as we’ve established that the new head honcho powerful villain has no real desire to hurt the hero. The narrative implications of this moving forward were so rich. Pity JJ ignored them. Additionally: To show Kylo Ren symbolically surpassing Darth Vader. In Episode III Anakin claims he will overthrow the Emperor and rule the galaxy with Padme. He never achieves this. But Kylo Ren does (minus the Empress by his side). To deepen the theme of Kylo Ren trying to kill/bury the past in order to become stronger (and ultimately failing). To add Snoke to the list of characters in the movie who embody the theme of failure. To shake up an expected narrative trajectory and provide new pathways for future storytelling. (Again, JJ, looking at you.)

Overall response: Loved it. Loved it. Not as resonant as some of the other deaths but by far to me the most shocking.

Luke Skywalker; portrayed by Mark Hamill

Personal feelings: Okay, this is a big one. Here’s the thing. I did not grow up with the original trilogy. I never really cared for Luke (didn’t dislike him either, just ‘meh’). But this movie. This movie. I went on a journey with Luke. I saw him as fallible. As human. Making mistakes. Failing. Falling into depression. And overcoming it. I cried when Luke Skywalker died. I did not think that would happen. I did not think I would ever love Luke so much.

Mode of death: Force projects himself across the galaxy to face his nephew and save the Resistance; the effort kills him. Luke’s death takes a couple of minutes of screentime, and it is gorgeous. Hamill acts his ass off. The music, the visuals, everything combines to make this the most emotional death in Star Wars--a fitting end for its first hero.

Aftermath: Leia and Rey feel his death in the Force. They speak to each other quietly about it. They know it was peaceful. Luke, knowing he was going to die, came and saw his sister first and gave them beautiful closure and a message of hope. Just before Luke dies, he warns Kylo/Ben that he’ll always be with him. Just like his father. Luke fades into the Force and we know we will see him again as a force ghost (which we do, but JJ managed to trash even that). The boy on Canto Bight and his friends are inspired by the legend of Jedi Master Luke Skywalker. He ignites hope throughout the galaxy once more.

Narrative purpose: Multiple. As above, inspiring hope throughout the galaxy once more. To serve the theme of self-sacrifice. Achieving victory without violence (pacifistic). Preventing Kylo Ren from killing more people he cares about (Rey, Leia, Luke) and thereby protecting him, at least a little, from himself. Also serves a similar purpose to Yoda’s death--with both Luke and Snoke dying, Rey and Kylo Ren are without masters, the arbiters of their own destiny (thanks again JJ for fucking that up too).

Overall response: I can’t decide if this or Han Solo’s death is more emotionally impactful to me. They are both so, so moving, and so essential to the narrative.

Leia Organa; portrayed by Carrie Fisher

Personal feelings: This is hard. I don’t think her scenes in The Rise of Skywalker worked. They were cut from The Force Awakens for a reason--and then cobbled together like some kind of Frankenstein’s Monster for this movie. As much as I love Leia and Carrie, I couldn’t feel emotion for her death because it was so wooden and artificial.

Mode of death: Uses the last of her energy to reach her son (it is unclear exactly how she is reaching him. Force projection? Did she create the Han memory? Who knows.) Even with so little to work with, they still managed to focus on her death with her lying down, her hand falling to the side--trying to give this some weight.

Aftermath: Chewie mourns. Ben and Rey both feel her death and are clearly devastated. The Resistance gather around her body in mourning. Her body fades at the same time as Ben’s (wtf, JJ) and then we see her as a force ghost with Luke (but not Ben because fuck him apparently).

Narrative purpose: To bring her son back to the light, something that has been a central struggle of this trilogy. Sacrificing yourself to save that which you love.

Overall response: It has a purpose, but I can’t help but think it wouldn’t have gone this way if Carrie hadn’t died. It doesn’t seem as organic as the deaths of Han and Luke.

NB: I’m skipping Palpatine because his death was literally nothing else than “defeat the big bad”. It wasn’t even fulfilling a prophecy, it had no significant narrative weight for Rey, it was a nothing burger.

Ben Solo/Kylo Ren; portrayed by Adam Driver

Personal feelings: Twofold. In the cinema, I felt nothing. Nothing. I actually laughed in surprise. Like, “what was that”? The next day, at home, I cried. I don’t think I cried because he died. I was open to that possibility. I cried because I was so, so angry at how poorly his arc and death was handled. Like he was a footnote in his own fucking story. I think him living was a much more interesting story, narratively and thematically, but I wasn’t necessarily opposed to his death if it was done well. And it wasn’t.

Mode of death: Uses the last of his life energy to resurrect Rey. Falls over. (Plop, there he goes.) Fades into the force.

Aftermath: Like, none? Rey looks kind of surprised and blinks for a couple of seconds. No words are exchanged. He just tips over and dies. Cool.

Narrative purpose (or failure thereof): I am fucking reaching here because all of the previously established trajectories and themes are dashed by this ending. We could argue that this is a self-sacrifice to save what you love theme point. Which is fine, but like, no one mourns. He doesn’t become a Force Ghost. No one acknowledges his death. Ben fading into the Force is a metaphor for him fading from people’s minds. It’s like he doesn’t even exist in the context of the story anymore. Which is insanely baffling because all three of the original trilogy heroes sacrificed their lives, at least in part, to save Ben Solo. So that he could in turn save Rey? So he’s just another cog in the machine? This was always about Rey and never about the love Han and Leia had for their son, or that Luke had for his nephew? If you think about it, the only other ‘main’ characters to die during the course of their trilogy were Qui-gon and Padme. And both of those characters had funerals, and people mourning, and huge narrative implications. The death of Ben Solo reads like the death of a minor character. It serves one very narrow and already over-represented theme. The death of all of the rest of the Skywalkers had huge emotional ramifications for the other characters in the films. With Ben Solo, the Skywalker legacy fades as well, as if JJ is telling us that this saga was not about this family at all, but their whole story existed only for the point of saving Palpatine’s granddaughter. How fucked up is that?

Overall response: Narratively, this just doesn’t make sense. It’s lazy and not impactful. When a character dies in films, you want the audience to feel something, so you show other characters reacting to it. Are they sad? Then we should feel sad too! Are they elated? We should be celebrating! No one reacts to Ben’s death, so we’re not sure how we’re supposed to feel, either. The people who are devastated by this death are the ones who love the character itself and are upset that he got treated this way--the death itself was hollow and emotionless.

So, there you have it. Ben Solo was shafted. Death is extremely prevalent in these movies, and yet, being the only new Skywalker of the sequels and half the protagonist (thank you Rian), Ben Solo has arguably the least emotional or narratively impactful death in the franchise.

Rian Johnson would never do this to Ben Solo.

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amy-issen · 3 years

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ok so here it is!! i spent the last week solely making and listening to this playlist like i was POSSESED because this ship is lovely and deserved a nice playlist! if anyone wants to know why i picked each song, i’m going to ramble about it extensively in the read more, so check that out if you want! hope you enjoy it! also thanks again to @birbwell for letting me use her art for the cover!

i divided this playlist in a few sections so let’s start with the first one (section one: first meeting/pining) i. in the rain - joe hisaishi i wanted to start with a short instrumental track to set the mood, and i looooove howl’s moving castle score, so i had to pick this one! the fact that it has rain in the title also helps to reference how their relationship began! ii. with every breath i take - frank sinatra “every breath that I take is a prayer that i’ll make you mine” my sister is a big sinatra/jazz fan (and also a yakuza fan) so she helped me with picking a few of the songs here! this one is very romantic, elegant and beautiful and i thought it fit the mood (and it’s what i think tachibana listens to in his free time lmao).

iii. gold rush - taylor swift “what must it be like to grow up that beautiful? with your hair falling into place like dominoes my mind turns your life into folklore i can't dare to dream about you anymore” this one is my FAVORITE song on this playlist, and one of the first i picked because this song just fits them like a glove. it’s basically pining 101, and i love that what taylor said this song is about “daydreaming about someone then snapping out of it.” i feel like the first part could be from tachibana’s perspective and the second one from kiryu’s (also giving a bit of a glimpse into the future, with the mention of a coastal town they’ll never find together) iv. first love/late spring - mitski “so please, hurry, leave me, i can't breathe please don't say you love me mune ga hachikire-sōde (my heart seems like it’s going to burst)” this one was another song i picked very early on because i love mitski, and i needed to include her here. i just wanted something to symbolize the trust that tachibana and kiryu have to share to work together, and the feelings that emerge from it, if that makes any sense. i don’t think this has a specific perspective, because i feel like this could work from both kiryu’s and tachibana’s (mostly kiryu though) v. real estate - adam melchor “every time I wonder how i'd carry on without you i'm runnin' out of real estate tryna make all the right moves i don't wanna hesitate i would bet the house on you “ do you UNDERSTAND how satisfying it was to find a song named real estate for them?? come ooon. ok that’s not all of my reasoning for it but it’s like. most of it, lmao another song i felt was about trust and feelings. (also a bit of a glimpse into the future, because i’m sad) vi. i get a kick out of you - ella fitzgerald “i get no kick from champagne mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all so tell me why should it be true that i get a kick out of you?” another one my sister recommended. i originally was gonna go with sinatra’s version of this, but i love this one and it just wouldn’t leave my brain. again, one from mostly tachibana’s perspective, get this man to sing this on karaoke night right now. vii. like real people do - hozier “i will not ask you where you came from i would not ask and neither would you honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips we could just kiss like real people do” this is one of my all time favorites from hozier and, again, it just fit perfectly. tachibana and kiryu have both lived some very... troubled lives so far, and while they’re depending on this trust they have in eachother, none of them really care to know about what they’ve done or who they are. this is mostly from kiryu’s perspective, specially with this metaphor of being rescued/dug up from the earth with the whole being found in the rain and saved by tachibana and his poor driving skills. viii. delicate - taylor swift “this ain't for the best my reputation's never been worse, so you must like me for me... we can't make any promises now, can we, babe? but you can make me a drink” y’all are going to have to forgive me for picking TWO taylor swift songs but COME OOOON this is another one that i picked early on because i could draw so many parallels between the lyrics and things that they both said in that car scene on chapter 9 (mostly tachibana though) and i kept harassing my sister with screenshots to prove my point and i’m gonna do it again

ANYWAYS i’ve made my case, and now we enter the second section of the playlist at last ( section 2: actual romantic/fluffy songs because this is a ship playlist) i. good old-fashioned lover boy - queen “dining at the ritz we'll meet at nine (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 o'clock) precisely i will pay the bill, you taste the wine driving back in style in my saloon will do quite nicely just take me back to yours that will be fine” is this a bit of a cliché? yes. did i want to include it because it’s very cute and i’d like to imagine kiryu and tachibana having a nice date night with no people trying to kill them all the time? also yes. i love this song.

ii. stay with me/mayonaka no door - miki matsuraba “you in your gray jacket with that oh-so-familiar coffee stain just as you always are the two of us reflect in the window display stay with me knocking on midnight's door i beg you not to go home tonight” (translated lyrics) is anyone not obsessed with this song lately? this is the only song here i’m blaming tiktok for making me listen to it lol. in any way, this song is deceptive because it sounds really happy but is actually quite melancholic. i thought it fit their relationship well, and it seemed like a good addition to the playlist with it’s 80′s city pop vibes.

iii. on melancholy hill - gorillaz (covered by matt forbes) “just looking out on the day of another dream where you can't get what you want, but you can get me so let's set out to sea, love 'cause you are my medicine when you're close to me" this is a gorillaz song but i went with this cover because it fit the feeling of the playlist a little better. another song that i just love very deeply and i thought fit the sentiment of kiryu being like “hey i know we have Big problems and you’re very sad in the moment but i’m here for you” iv. (i love you) for sentimental reasons - nat king cole "i think of you every morning dream of you every night darling, i'm never lonely whenever you are in sight" surprisingly, not one that my sister recommended, but one i found for myself while looking for quiet romantic songs. i feel like this is tachibana's reply to kiryu being there for him and helping him. plus, idk i just wanted to imagine them slow dancing to this. v. positions - ariana grande (covered by travis atreo) "perfect, perfect you're too good to be true but I get tired of runnin', fuck it now, i’m runnin' with you" i picked this cover because i felt like using ariana's one would be a little goofy for this section lmao, but i really like this song and how it's about commitment and doing everything to make a relationship work. i just wanted to throw some sexy vibes before this playlist delved into depressing stuff. also if you telling me tachibana wouldn't absolute body a tiktok set to this song you're lying to yourself. (section 3: oh no this is getting sad) i. forever - labrinth "i'll live forever" i love everything labrinth makes, the euphoria soundtrack lives in my mind rent free and this is my favorite one. this barely has any lyrics so, again, mostly a track i picked for its intrumentals and feeling overall. mostly preparing you for the sad stuff ahead. ii. hong kong - gorillaz "you swallow me i'm a pill on your tongue here on the nineteenth floor the neon lights make me calm" this is my favorite gorillaz song, by FAR, and i think it's introspective vibe really fits tachibana's character. not really a song about relationship but i really wanted to include it because it's just such a GORGEOUS song. iii. fragments - severon another instrumental track! this one i stole from a playlist my sister made for a fic i wrote last year. again. sad vibes. iv. sign of the times - harry styles (covered by LANY) "remember everything will be alright we can meet again somewhere somewhere far away from here" i loved the synth-y vibe this cover had, while still keeping this song's sad "our lives are dangerous and i'm about to die" vibes. i mostly wanted to evoke the vibe from the scene where tachibana agrees to go with lao gui after kiryu gets shot. just really sad all around. v. so close - jon mclaughlin "we're so close to reaching that famous happy end almost believing this one's not pretend let's go on dreaming though we know we are so close, so close, and still so far" me? picking a song from disney's enchanted??? for a playlist??? it's more likely than you think. idk this song just gives me that vibe of being so close to being happy and together, almost reminiscing and wondering what could have been. but it just... won't happen. vi. as the world caves in - matt maltese "yes, it's you i welcome death with as the world, as the world caves in" oops, yes, i had to go there. just couldn't resist including this song, and i feel like it's really self-explanatory. vii. places we won't walk - bruno major "neon lights shine bold and bright buildings grow to dizzy heights people come alive at night in places we won't walk" again, i feel like this song speaks for itself. a bit of a meditation on kiryu's perspective on things that could have happened, things they would have done, that kiryu will just have to do alone from now on. viii. carry me out - mitski "i drive when it rains at night, when it rains, i drive and the headlight spirits they lead me down the styx so black it shines and carry me out carry me out"

possibly the saddest and the most powerful song in this playlist, because i just had to put a mitski song again. the image of kiryu carrying tachibana's body is just constantly in my mind when i listen to this, but i could also see this song being from the perspective of tachibana's spirit. ix. arms tonite - mother mother "i died in your arms tonight i slipped through into the afterlife it was nice" lmao this felt a bit like a cruel joke to include, but i didn't want this playlist to end TOO depressingly. it's a nod to tachibana dying in kiryu's arms, sure, but also it's romantic and possibly a little hopeful (tachibana lives au!!! orpheus and eurydice au!!! fuck it, idk!!) xi. everybody wants to rule the world - tears for fears "there's a room where the light won't find you holding hands while the walls come tumbling down when they do, i'll be right behind you so glad we've almost made it so sad they had to fade it everybody wants to rule the world" not a recommendation from my sister, but it is her favorite song, and she was happy that i included it. another 80's bop with sad lyrics! i feel like this is a lovely summary of their story together and it feels like a nice little bow to wrap up the playlist. i hope you enjoyed my long ass explanations! i might add songs later (or make an entire second playlist altogether for the fic i'm writing rn, but let's not get ahead of ourselves)

#tachikiryu #yakuza #ryu ga gotoku #kazuma kiryu #tetsu tachibana #playlist #audio #THIS IS SUCH A LONG POST I CAN'T BELIEVE I WROTE ALL THIS ARRRRGH #praying this shows up in the tags lmao

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boreothegoldfinch · 3 years

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chapter 12 paragraph viii

Only here’s what I really, really want someone to explain to me. What if one happens to be possessed of a heart that can’t be trusted—? What if the heart, for its own unfathomable reasons, leads one willfully and in a cloud of unspeakable radiance away from health, domesticity, civic responsibility and strong social connections and all the blandly-held common virtues and instead straight towards a beautiful flare of ruin, self-immolation, disaster? Is Kitsey right? If your deepest self is singing and coaxing you straight toward the bonfire, is it better to turn away? Stop your ears with wax? Ignore all the perverse glory your heart is screaming at you? Set yourself on the course that will lead you dutifully towards the norm, reasonable hours and regular medical check-ups, stable relationships and steady career advancement, the New York Times and brunch on Sunday, all with the promise of being somehow a better person? Or—like Boris—is it better to throw yourself head first and laughing into the holy rage calling your name? It’s not about outward appearances but inward significance. A grandeur in the world, but not of the world, a grandeur that the world doesn’t understand. That first glimpse of pure otherness, in whose presence you bloom out and out and out. A self one does not want. A heart one cannot help. Though my engagement isn’t off, not officially anyway, I’ve been given to understand—gracefully, in the lighter-than-air manner of the Barbours—that no one is holding me to anything. Which is perfect. Nothing’s been said and nothing is said. When I’m invited for dinner (as I am, often, when I’m in town) it’s all very pleasant and light, voluble even, intimate and subtle while not at all personal; I’m treated like a family member (almost), welcome to turn up when I want; I’ve been able to coax Mrs. Barbour out of the apartment a bit, we’ve had some pleasant afternoons out, lunch at the Pierre and an auction or two; and Toddy, without being impolitic in the least, has even managed to let casually and almost accidentally drop the name of a very good doctor, with no suggestion whatever that I might possibly need such a thing.

[As for Pippa: though she took the Oz book, she left the necklace, along with a letter I opened so eagerly I literally ripped through the envelope and tore it in half. The gist—once I got on my knees and fit the pieces together— was this: she’d loved seeing me, our time in the city had meant a lot to her, who in the world could have picked such a beautiful necklace for her? it was perfect, more than perfect, only she couldn’t accept it, it was much too much, she was sorry, and—maybe she was speaking out of turn, and if so she hoped I forgave her, but I shouldn’t think she didn’t love me back, because she did, she did. (You do? I thought, bewildered.) Only it was complicated, she wasn’t thinking only of herself but me too, since we’d both been through so many of the same things, she and I, and we were an awful lot alike—too much. And because we’d both been hurt so badly, so early on, in violent and irremediable ways that most people didn’t, and couldn’t, understand, wasn’t it a bit… precarious? A matter of self-preservation? Two rickety and death-driven persons who would need to lean on each other quite so much? not to say she wasn’t doing well at the moment, because she was, but all that could change in a flash with either of us, couldn’t it? the reversal, the sharp downward slide, and wasn’t that the danger? since our flaws and weaknesses were so much the same, and one of us could bring the other down way too quick? and though this was left to float in the air a bit, I realized instantly, and with some considerable astonishment, what she was getting at. (Dumb of me not to have seen it earlier, after all the injuries, the crushed leg, the multiple surgeries; adorable drag in the voice, adorable drag in the step, the arm-hugging and the pallor, the scarves and sweaters and multiple layers of clothes, slow drowsy smile: she herself, the dreamy childhood her, was sublimity and disaster, the morphine lollipop I’d chased for all those years.)

But, as the reader of this will have ascertained (if there ever is a reader) the idea of being Dragged Down holds no terror for me. Not that I care to drag anyone else down with me, but—can’t I change? Can’t I be the strong one? Why not?] [You can have either of those girls you want, said Boris, sitting on the sofa with me in his loft in Antwerp, cracking pistachios between his rear molars as we were watching Kill Bill. No, I can’t. And why can’t you? I’d pick Snowflake myself. But if you want the other, why not? Because she has a boyfriend? So? said Boris. Who lives with her? So? And here’s what I’m thinking too: So? What if I go to London? So? And this is either a completely disastrous question or the most sensible one I’ve ever asked in all my life.] [That little guy, said Boris in the car on the way to Antwerp. You know the painter saw him—he wasn’t painting that bird from his mind, you know? That’s a real little guy, chained up on the wall, there. If I saw him mixed up with dozen other birds all the same kind, I could pick him out, no problem.] And he’s right. So could I. And if I could go back in time I’d clip the chain in a heartbeat and never care a minute that the picture was never painted. To try to make some meaning out of all this seems unbelievably quaint. Maybe I only see a pattern because I’ve been staring too long. But then again, to paraphrase Boris, maybe I see a pattern because it’s there. [Do you ever think about quitting? I asked, during the boring part of It’s a Wonderful Life, the moonlight walk with Donna Reed, when I was in Antwerp watching Boris with spoon and water from an eyedropper, mixing himself what he called a “pop.” Give me a break! My arm hurts! He’d already shown me the bloody skid mark—black at the edges—cutting deep into his bicep. You get shot at Christmas and see if you want to sit around swallowing aspirin! Yeah, but you’re crazy to do it like that. Well—believe it or not—for me not so much a problem. I only do it special occasions. I’ve heard that before. Well, is true! Still a chipper, for now. I’ve known of people chipped three-four years and been ok, long as they kept it down to two-three times a month? That said, Boris added somberly—blue movie light glinting off the teaspoon —I am alcoholic. Damage is done, there. I’m a drunk till I die. If anything kills me—nodding at the Russian Standard bottle on the coffee table—that’ll be it. Say you never shot before? Believe me, I had problems enough the other way. Well, big stigma and fear, I understand. Me—honest, I prefer to sniff most times—clubs, restaurants, out and about, quicker and easier just to duck in men’s room and do a quick bump. This way—always you crave it. On my death bed I will crave it. Better never to pick it up. Although—really very irritating to see some bone head sitting there smoking out of a crack pipe and make some pronouncement about how dirty and unsafe, they would never use a needle, you know? Like they are so much more sensible than you? Why did you start? Why does anyone? My girl left me! Girl at the time. Wanted to be all bad and self-destructive, hah. Got my wish. Jimmy Stewart in his varsity sweater. Silvery moon, quavery voices. Buffalo Gals won’t you come out tonight, come out tonight. So, why not stop then? I said. Why should I? Do I really have to say why? Yeah, but what if I don’t feel like it? If you can stop, why wouldn’t you? Live by the sword, die by the sword, said Boris briskly, hitting the button on his very professional-looking medical tourniquet with his chin as he was pushing up his sleeve.]

And as terrible as this is, I get it. We can’t choose what we want and don’t want and that’s the hard lonely truth. Sometimes we want what we want even if we know it’s going to kill us. We can’t escape who we are. (One thing I’ll have to say for my dad: at least he tried to want the sensible thing—my mother, the briefcase, me—before he completely went berserk and ran away from it.) And as much as I’d like to believe there’s a truth beyond illusion, I’ve come to believe that there’s no truth beyond illusion. Because, between ‘reality’ on the one hand, and the point where the mind strikes reality, there’s a middle zone, a rainbow edge where beauty comes into being, where two very different surfaces mingle and blur to provide what life does not: and this is the space where all art exists, and all magic. And—I would argue as well—all love. Or, perhaps more accurately, this middle zone illustrates the fundamental discrepancy of love. Viewed close: a freckled hand against a black coat, an origami frog tipped over on its side. Step away, and the illusion snaps in again: life-more-than-life, never-dying. Pippa herself is the play between those things, both love and not-love, there and not-there. Photographs on the wall, a balled-up sock under the sofa. The moment where I reached to brush a piece of fluff from her hair and she laughed and ducked at my touch. And just as music is the space between notes, just as the stars are beautiful because of the space between them, just as the sun strikes raindrops at a certain angle and throws a prism of color across the sky—so the space where I exist, and want to keep existing, and to be quite frank I hope I die in, is exactly this middle distance: where despair struck pure otherness and created something sublime.

And that’s why I’ve chosen to write these pages as I’ve written them. For only by stepping into the middle zone, the polychrome edge between truth and untruth, is it tolerable to be here and writing this at all. Whatever teaches us to talk to ourselves is important: whatever teaches us to sing ourselves out of despair. But the painting has also taught me that we can speak to each other across time. And I feel I have something very serious and urgent to say to you, my non-existent reader, and I feel I should say it as urgently as if I were standing in the room with you. That life—whatever else it is—is short. That fate is cruel but maybe not random. That Nature (meaning Death) always wins but that doesn’t mean we have to bow and grovel to it. That maybe even if we’re not always so glad to be here, it’s our task to immerse ourselves anyway: wade straight through it, right through the cesspool, while keeping eyes and hearts open. And in the midst of our dying, as we rise from the organic and sink back ignominiously into the organic, it is a glory and a privilege to love what Death doesn’t touch. For if disaster and oblivion have followed this painting down through time—so too has love. Insofar as it is immortal (and it is) I have a small, bright, immutable part in that immortality. It exists; and it keeps on existing. And I add my own love to the history of people who have loved beautiful things, and looked out for them, and pulled them from the fire, and sought them when they were lost, and tried to preserve them and save them while passing them along literally from hand to hand, singing out brilliantly from the wreck of time to the next generation of lovers, and the next.

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breanime · 4 years

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Helpess (Part Eight)

This part’s a wee bit shorter (maybe 800-1000 words shorter) than the others have been, but I hope you like it!

*banner by @starkrobb*

Billy was never the romantic type. He didn’t pine, didn’t lose himself in a pretty girl’s eyes, didn’t beg, but damn…

…You were making him want to.

He was watching you sleep—something he never imagined himself doing—and all he could think about was the last thing you’d said before you’d fallen asleep. Disappear. You were going to disappear on him—again.

“Don’t,” he had said back, his heart—of all things—speaking up before his brain could even get a grasp on what you just said, “Don’t.”

Shit had moved fast when he first met you; Billy went to picking up a pretty girl at a bar to burying himself inside of her for days on end. He never did that—he wasn’t a repeat offender, not unless there was something in it for him (intel, prestige—shit, even bragging rights were enough of a motivation for him). But with you… Man, Billy had just liked being around you from the get, had liked the ease of your relationship. It was just so… natural between the two of you, and he had never experienced that before. He liked it, as much as he tried to downplay it and pretend he didn’t; he did. He liked having you in his life.

But when he left, and came back to find you gone, things had slowed down to a crawl in his life.

He had still been busy—Anvil was just getting on its feet, he had paid his debt to Rawlins, he was his own man—but his life had just seemed so… slow without you in it. Which was ridiculous, given how little he’d known about you, and how little you knew about him. But it was true. And now that you were back in his life, shit was moving fast again. Except this time, he was determined to keep up with you.

He woke up before you, and Billy spent a good fifteen minutes arguing with himself over whether or not to wake you up. He wanted to be inside you, wanted to kiss you and caress you and hold you. He wanted—needed—to make you stay with him, and the only way he knew how to do that was to convince you with his body, because he wasn’t at all confident that his words could do the trick. But he also wanted you to rest. You’d gone through so much so quickly—and he knew, from the moment you’d propositioned him for sex in the safe house, that you still hadn’t had the chance to properly mourn your brother. He could see it in your eyes, hear it in your voice, and feel it in your touch; you were hurting, and it killed him that there was nothing he could do to fix it for you. All the money and power and success he’d accumulated, and yet he still didn’t have the power to take your pain away.

Newly agitated, Billy decided to let you rest. He got up, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead—another thing he usually didn’t do that he easily did with you—and got dressed.

Frank was already up—not that Billy was surprised. He was drinking a cup of coffee (black, Billy knew), and staring at the monitors. He was watching a woman and two kids, and it took Billy a second to recognize them.

“That Micro’s family?” Billy asked, coming to stand beside his best friend.

Frank nodded. “They have no idea he’s alive,” he said, eyes still on the monitors, “They have no idea who I really am…”

“Ah…” Billy put his hands in his pockets. “They know you as Pete,” he guessed.

“Yeah.”

Billy moved, made himself a cup of coffee, and then came back to stand next to Frank again. The mom was fixing the kids breakfast while they sat at the table, and Billy wondered if that was how things were supposed to be. Frank’s childhood had been like that; Frank’s family had been like that. But Billy never had that. You did, though, for a little while. That was probably worse, Billy thought; having a family, parents who loved and cared for you, and then not having them. He’d never had that, and he was never let down by his foster parents because he had no expectations of them. But you did. And you’d gotten Joe Yakavetta, a man who used you as a tool, putting you in danger and painting a target on your back so he could get rich.

Billy was itching to kill him.

“You never told me about her,” Frank said, breaking Billy out of his thoughts.

Billy took a sip of his coffee. “There was nothing to tell. We were… a thing,” he explained, “and then we weren’t. I honestly didn’t think I’d ever see her again, but then…”

“Then this happened.” Frank nodded. “Small world.” He turned to Billy. “It’s almost like it’s—”

“—don’t say it,” Billy groaned.

“—Fate,” Frank finished, grinning.

“You know I don’t believe in that shit,�� Billy said back, turning back to the screens, “You see me being helpless to something like fate? Nah,” he shook his head, “fuck that.”

“I dunno, man,” Frank went on, “only you would pick a girl who was raised by a crimelord and drives like Ghost Rider. And only you would be involved with a girl who happens to be on the shit list of the guy who’s pals with the guy on our shit list.” He swallowed a gulp of coffee. “Seems like fate to me.”

“Kiss my ass, Frankie,” Billy turned to Frank, “You get Madani to see sense?”

“About putting Rawlins and Yakavetta and whoever else gets in the way in the dirt?” He shook his head. “Nah.”

“Eh,” Billy shrugged, “she’s in for a rude awakening.”

“Yeah,” Frank agreed, “This gonna be a problem for you? Workin’ with her? I know things didn’t exactly end well between you two.”

Billy grimaced. Madani had been a fun distraction for a short while for him, but she was predictable. He’d seen her coming a mile away; he knew her type. Self-righteous and born with a silver spoon, a bleeding heart with a strict moral code and lack of life experience. He’d known she wanted something more than sex when she first approached him, but it took him a few days to figure out what. But he did. He always did, eventually. He didn’t mind her using him to get to Frank, he was using her right back, after all. She hadn’t been happy when she put two and two together, and she was really unhappy when she inevitably realized that Billy walked away with much more intel than she had by the end of it. “That ain’t the problem,” he said, “the problem is with Y/N.”

“Fuck Bill, I thought you aged out of love triangles.”

“I did,” he said, smirking despite himself, “but this isn’t that.” He took another sip of his coffee, frowning now as he thought about the way you’d asked Madani about your brother, the hurt and disappointment he’d heard in your monotone voice… “Madani treats Y/N like a pawn,” he explained, “Like she’s just a case, not a person. And if she keeps pulling this ‘pillar of justice, I’m here to protect you’ shit,” he shook his head, “I dunno if I can keep it together, Frankie.”

Frank laughed, and Billy looked at him, an eyebrow raised. “No, that’s… It’s cute,” Frank said, “It’s nice—seeing you like this over a girl. I never thought the Beaut…” He shook his head, lips on the rim of his mug. “Didn’t really know if you had it in you, but Maria did.” His eyes shimmered the way they always did when he was thinking of his wife—not the corpse, but his actual wife, when she was alive and vibrant and his perfect mate. “She said there’d be a girl who could get you like this. She knew.”

“Like what?”

“Like… this.” Frank gestured to all of Billy. “Man, we’re maybe hours away from killing Rawlins or dying trying, and you’re thinkin’ about Y/N. Not yourself, not what happens to Anvil if you die, not what kind of power you inherit if we kill Rawlins—you’re thinking of Y/N and how she’s been treated. I just…” He smiled, the look soft on his face. It made Billy think back on their days in the Marines, that look. When Frank smiled like that, he looked younger, lighter… “I want that for you. I really do.”

“Thanks,” Billy said, looking down into his coffee, “I… Fuck, man. I want that, too.” He looked up at Frank. “I want that with her, and I’m not even sure what the hell ‘that’ even is.”

Frank laughed. “Oh, man, I can help you out with that—it’s love, man. It’s fate,” he patted Billy on the shoulder as he walked past, “It’s letting yourself be helpless.”

It took you a minute to figure out where you were when you first woke up. But when you did, the first thing you did was reach out for Billy, but he was gone.

What else was new?

Sighing, you got up and got dressed, your muscles burning from last night’s activities. You and Billy had… You shook your head—there was no you and Billy. There was Billy, and there was you. And if things took a turn here, if Joe saw you coming and gave you the same treatment he’d given Ronnie… there wouldn’t even be a you anymore. But, in all honesty—you were fine with that. As long as you took Joe down with you, you’d be happy. You opened the door—

—and jumped. Billy was standing on the other side, one of his perfect eyebrows raised as he looked down at you.

“You hungry?” Was all he asked.

You followed him into the main room of the warehouse, and you sat down to breakfast—toast, eggs, and the strongest coffee you’d ever had—with Billy freaking Russo and the Punisher. It was weirdly nice, though, and you enjoyed watching the easy back and forth between the two men. Micro woke up next, and he plopped himself down next to you, much to Billy’s chagrin. For a few minutes, as you sat and talked with the guys, you forgot that you were on the run, you even forgot how hollow you were, and instead, you could pretend you were just having breakfast with your friends and… someone who was more than a friend to you.

Then Madani walked in, bringing the crushing weight of reality with her.

“I can deputize you,” she said as a greeting.

“The fuck does that mean?” Frank grumbled around a mouth full of eggs.

“It means give us temporary badges,” Billy answered for her, frowning, “It would make us temporary Homeland Security agents and her our boss.” He took a sip of his coffee. “It’s a joke, and she’s not authorized to do that anyway.”

Madani’s face scrunched up the way it did whenever Billy called her on her shit. “It would be retroactive,” she explained, “but it would allow you to bring Rawlins and Yakavetta in without—”

“Are you still on that?” Frank shook his head. “There’s no bringing them in, Madani—none of ‘em. At best, Rawlins is getting a bullet in his head, at worst, he goes slow—but either way, he goes.”

“That’s against the law, Castle—”

“You think I give a shit about the law?!” Frank boomed, standing up so quickly that his chair toppled to the floor. “My family’s dead, Madani! Micro’s a fucking ghost, Billy sold his soul—that’s all on Rawlins’ orders! He doesn’t get to walk away! He doesn’t get to rot in a jail cell. He rots in the grave,” his eyes were wide and wild, “and if you want to stop me, Madani, you better make sure your aim is good.”

“You’re gonna have to kill me, too,” Micro declared, standing up. When his chair didn’t fall, he kicked it to the floor.

She turned to Billy, who just continued drinking his coffee. Defeated, Madani turned her attention to you. “I can’t protect you from this,” she warned you, “If you join up with them and kill Rawlins—”

“To be honest,” you interrupted, “My chances of killing this Rawlins guy are pretty low. But Joe?” You shook your head. “If anyone but me kills him, I’m gonna be disappointed.”

She sighed, taking a step closer to you. “Y/N,” she tried again, “if you do this, I can’t grant you immunity. The robberies and heists and everything else—those I can get you immunity for, but murder?” She shook her head. “They’ll put you away for life. Can you imagine that? Four walls and a cement bench being your only privilege? No drag races, no chases,” she took another step, “No more roar of an engine or smell of gasoline. Is that what you want?” She was right in front of you now. “Is that what your brother would have wanted for you?”

Your response was immediate. “Ronnie’s dead. He doesn’t want anything anymore.”

“You can either get on board,” Frank said to Madani, “or get the hell out. We don’t have time for this.”

“I can’t let you—” she started.

“For fuck’s sake,” Billy groaned, whipping a gun out and pointing it at Madani as he stood up, “Let’s just make this easier, huh, Frankie?”

“Bill…” Frank said, frowning.

Madani pulled her gun out, too, and pointed it at Billy. “Put. Your. Weapon. Down, Russo.”

“Madani—” Frank tried.

“C’mon, Frankie,” Billy said, his eyes still on Madani, “We ain’t got time for this. Every second we waste on this same argument is time Rawlins and Yakavetta have to get away. I’m not lettin’ him disappear on us again.”

“She’s a cop, man!” Micro said, eyes wide. “We can’t—she’s—we—”

“Give the word, Frank,” Billy said, his tone even.

You looked at Frank. He seemed to be considering it, but he shook his head. “She’s just tryin’ to do her job, Bill.”

Billy clicked his tongue, clearly unhappy with the decision, but lowered his weapon.

Madani did the same. “I could have you arrested for that, Russo,” she hissed, “How are you gonna run your business from prison?”

“Can we get to the part where the cop leaves and we get on with this,” you drawled, still in your seat, “Because Billy’s right—we’re wasting time here. So, Agent Madani, you’re either with us, or against us. You can come with and try that divine justice thing out for the .5 seconds before we kill them, or you can fuck off and let us do what has to be done. Which is it?”

She tucked her gun away, sighing. “I’m coming with you,” she said, “because I… I owe you, Y/N. I’m want… I’m going to protect you.”

Billy was in front of her in a second, his dark eyes narrowed dangerously as he glared down at her. “I’m telling you right now,” he growled, “you do anything to get in the way here…”

“…She’s dead,” Frank said, stepping over to them and putting his hand on Billy’s shoulder, “she knows, Bill. Don’t you, Madani?”

She nodded, eyes on Billy. You couldn’t see his face, but you knew he was serious. Billy made an aggravated noise and moved away, sitting back at the table with you.

“Let’s get started, then,” he said, voice low.

For the next three and a half hours, the five of you sat at the table and planned out what was going to happen. By the time that it was over, you were ready to go.

“We got one hour before T-time,” Frank said, standing up, “Gear up.”

Madani turned to you, opening her mouth to speak, but was interrupted when Billy stood up, taking your wrist in his hand. “Come on,” was all he said as he dragged you back to your room.

Billy kicked the door shut behind him and turned to you. “I want you to stay here,” he started, “but,” he went on, his eyebrows raised, “I know you won’t. So I need you to at least make me a promise.”

“Okay…?”

“Promise me that you’ll listen to me when we’re out there,” he said, “Just… There’s gonna be a lot going on, and I need you to stay safe.”

“Aw, c’mon man,” you waved your hand in the air, “You’re gonna get paid either way; Homeland’s good for it.”

“I’m serious, Y/N. I need you to be safe, I can’t—” He stopped, taking a step back. “I just need you to be safe.”

Normally, you would have let Billy deflect. Hell, you were a grade-A deflector yourself, but considering the fact that you were only 59 minutes away from a possibly violent death, you figured you’d push. “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why do you need me to be safe?” You asked. “You told me you took this job because it was personal to you, and I get that, I do, but… The job’s done, man. Homeland is compromised, and even if it wasn’t, Madani is gonna wash her hands of me after this, I know it. So why does it matter to you if I stay safe or not?”

“Because,” Billy answered, glaring, “it does.”

“Yeah, but why? You have your own fight with Rawlins, why are you worried about me?”

“Because.”

“Because what, Billy?” You glared up at him. “Because what? Tell me. Say it.”

“Because I fucking care about you,” he growled, grabbing you by the shoulders, “Jesus, Y/N, I was hypnotized by you from the moment I first saw you, and when we hooked up, I thought that would cure me, but it didn’t. Fuck,” he sighed, “You think I wanted this? To care about you like I do? Cause I didn’t—but I do, so here we are.”

“Billy…”

“And I know,” he went on, dropping his hands, “I know you want to disappear, and I… I get that, but…” He sighed. “Fuck… I don’t want you to.” His eyes were staring into yours, and you felt your chest tighten as you looked at him. “I’m not—I need you to be safe, regardless of what happens, but… If we survive this, I don’t want this to be the last time I see you.”

“So…” You licked your lips, unsure of what you were feeling, but knowing that it was distinctively related to Billy. “What… What do you want then?” You knew it was hard for Billy to be open like this with you, and you weren’t trying to push him (anymore), but you had to know. So much of your back and forth with Billy was unsaid, and you just… you needed things to be said. Just in case. You didn’t want to die not knowing what you meant to him—especially if you meant something to him.

He shrugged one shoulder. “You,” he answered, “I just want you.”

Once he said that, it was impossible for you to do anything but kiss him. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and let yourself melt against him. Kissing Billy, being in his arms, made everything else fall to the wayside. “You want me?” You whispered against his lips. “You want me?”

“I want you,” he repeated, his tongue slipping into your mouth, “and I need you to stay glued to my side this whole time, alright?”

You wanted to argue, but how could you when he was kissing you like that, and his hands were on you? You couldn’t. So instead, you just kissed him back, trying to bring him closer.

He was smiling when you pulled back. “I need to hear it,” he said, his lips ghosting over you chin, “I need to hear that you’ll stay safe and listen to me out there…”

“I’m starting to think this whole ‘listen to me’ thing is some kind of secret kink…” You grinned.

He bit your neck, and you squealed. “Say it.”

“Okay, okay,” you giggled, “I’ll listen to you and stay as safe as I can.”

“As you can?” Billy titled his head to the side. “That the best you can do?”

“I dunno,” you purred, “Can you make me cum in less than an hour?”

Billy grinned.

Five minutes later, you were on your back with your pants around your ankles and your chest heaving. Billy was next to you, propping himself up on his elbow as he grinned down at you. “Any other requests?” He asked.

You shook your head, your body tingling from the force of the orgasm he’d given you—using only his fingers.

Chuckling, Billy leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to your lips. “Let’s get you dressed,” he said.

You let Billy dress you—again—and you smiled when he lifted you up and sat you up, propping your back on the pillow. You closed your eyes, still smiling, as he helped you into your shoes, feeling pampered, but frowned when you felt something heavy on your lap. You opened your eyes to see a bullet-proof vest. “Oh.”

“You need to wear that at all times,” he said, all-business.

You pouted.

Billy flicked his tongue out and licked his two fingers, chasing the taste of you.

You put the damn vest on.

Later, you, Billy, Frank, Micro, and Madani stood in the garage of the warehouse. Billy and Frank were armed to the teeth, you’d been given a gun, Micro had his… computers and stuff, and Madani had her guns. Your skin felt too tight; you were excited and anxious and scared and ready; you still had the taste of Billy’s lips on yours—you were ready to get this done.

“Micro’ll take the van,” Frank said, clarifying the plan for the benefit of no one, “Y/N, you’re driving the rest of us. We follow the plan,” he said, glancing over at Madani with a scowl, “and if we die…”

“…We die,” Billy finished for him. He looked down at you. “But we’re not gonna die.”

“Look at Russo, the optimistic!” Micro cheered.

“Alright,” you grinned, running your fingers across the hood, eager to be behind it, “Let’s fucking do this.” You looked over at Billy, a man who you’d met in a bar who was now the only person you had left in the world.

No matter what happened—you refused to be helpless. You wanted a life after this, wanted to work out whatever you were with Billy with Billy, wanted to be a permanent fixture in his life. But more than that—

—you wanted revenge. And if you had to die to get it, well…

…you’d die.

*******************************************************************************************

Ruh roh... things are about to get DARK. And action-packed! Let me know what you think of this chapter, please. Thanks for reading!

Everything Taglist: @encounterthepast @jigsawlover10 @gollyderek @charlylama @realduckvader @whovianayesha @lexxierave @loveintheroyalfamily @fanfictionrecommendations-com @maxslime-blog @songforhema @lucielandss @themadhatter92 @christinawxxx @anabella-baby @blackcoffeeandgreenteaforme @luminex3 @ashkuuuu @luckysstrikes @carlaangel86 @floralpeaceofmind @dylanobrusso @iaintnofurry @ymariejp @its-my-little-dumpster-fire @mrsjaxtellerfan @holamor @drinix @rhabakoli @stories-you-wont-hear @king4thesirens @leahnicole1219 @evanlys19 @binbons-is-theloml @aikeia @bitch-imma-head-out @witchygagirl @geeksareunique @sparrows-books @nyxxnoxx @justvnash @truly-insatiable

Benny B Taglist: @suchatinyinfinity @fandomlifeandeverythingelse @starkrobb @elanor-of-imladris @thesumofmychoices @marauderskeeper @honeyydippaa @thebabblingbookworm @khuangpu13 @ladyblablabla @woodlandreads @ms-delos @belladonnarey @thesandbeneathmytoes @georgiagrl1990 @kahlanmars @the-blind-assassin-12 @sylphene @ashdab2611 @tessxblxckthorn

Benny B Taglist (minus Sirius): @banditthewriter @something-tofightfor

Helpless Taglist (let me know if you’d like to be added or removed): @accioromancff @funerals-with-cake @700teacups @thesumofmychoices @wangmangagavroche @aikeia @im-a-mess-ness @fangirlharbor @vhgirlforever @coraz0ndcristal @contanto-que-voce-me-queira @editboutique @lysawayne @benbarnestongue @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @agent-bossypants @hellsregnantqueen @ilkaeliseb @kimmie113080 @sweetybuzz25

#Billy Russo x reader #billy russo imagine #billy russo #helpless #helpless fic #helpless series

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incomprehensiblelentils · 3 years

Text

@dollsome-does-tumblr does this and opened it up to anyone and I am feeling chatty today SO!

Because I co-write a lot with my lovely wife, I might answer some questions including those co-written stories, or I might not, depends on how I feel when I get there.

name:

Megan but I go by Lentils most places on the internet, Shadowcrawler over on AO3

fandoms:

at the moment: MCU, especially Agents of SHIELD and Daredevil; Terminator: Dark Fate; Halt and Catch Fire. Oh and I wrote Dollhouse fanfics a thousand years ago. Sometimes I will watch a movie/show and think “those two girls should be gay” and bang out 2k of fic about it and then never write for that fandom again. (I THOUGHT this was going to be HACF but as it turns out, no, it’s not done with me yet.)

where you post:

AO3, at Shadowcrawler. I also have a tumblr @lentils-writes where theoretically I post links to fics/advertise them in the tags, because I used to be real precious about not putting porn on this blog, but fuck it.

most popular multi-chapter fic:

Co-written, it’s definitely mallverse, which is I think the reason most writers definitely hate us because it’s very long and there are a lot of tags lmao. The problem is that every tagged character HAS shown up in a significant fashion at some point so we can’t just...untag them! It doesn’t update weekly anymore because we’re exhausted by life lmao so at least there’s that???

As for a multi-chapter fic that was just me, I don’t tend to do that so much, so actually it’s say you will, my 3-chapter Endgame fix-it where Clint dies instead of Natasha and Natasha and Laura have a past. It actually has over 1000 hits which is very exciting! I feel like it’s...niche in a way that is frustrating but understandable lol. I put a lot of my heart into it and some people really liked it, so that’s gratifying.

favorite story you’ve written so far:

Co-written, I think our SHIELD Dollhouse AU is very underrated for the amount of work we put into it. Author bias evident here because I love Dollhouse warts and all, and it’s a lot of fun translating episode plots as well as the general trajectory of the show into stuff that will work with SHIELD characters. We don’t just rewrite episodes, we really try and rework them as needed. Also it features both Skimmons and my beloved rarepair Bobbi/Kara, though of course they won’t get together until later.

Of my own stuff, I’m still really really proud of the AU where Kara Palamas didn’t die. I think that was a pretty severe misstep of the show and I think I did a good job of fixing it. (I haven’t forgotten Kara, promise!)

fic you were nervous to post:

lolololol I wrote some uh. Terminator pornography last year and. They are very porny! I had co-written a bunch of smut obviously, but that was the first time I’d posted like, PWP all by myself on purpose??? and that was TERRIFYING. Also I was very nervous to post the Engame fix-it because that was my own personal goodbye/tribute to Natasha.

how you choose your titles:

They are always either song lyrics or jokes (such as Three Lawyers and a Baby, my Daredevil Accidental Baby Acquisition fic). My WIP docs are always titled either obvious shit like “RoseJannah horse girls” or memes like “what if we belonged to a fire cult and we fucked haha just kidding unless...?” or “Morgan has two mommies.”

do you outline?:

B and I typically outline for the co-written fics, although it’s more often chapter-by-chapter outlines since that’s how we write them. On occasion we’ve fully planned multi-chapter stuff out in advance but that’s less common. Oh and the one-shots are nearly always outlined as well, just to keep ourselves organized.

When I have written planned multi-chapter fics in the past I have used outlines - particularly for the Kara one and I had to do that for the SHIELD Kill Bill AU because I was trying to follow the format of the movie. For things that are allegedly supposed to be one-shots I almost never outline, which turns out to be a terrible idea when they inevitably balloon beyond my control and become 45k like say you will. That one, I wrote out a list of scenes I thought needed to be in it and then I wrote about 75% of those scenes and then I wrote a bunch more scenes I hadn’t planned for. Don’t be like me, kids!

complete fics:

According to AO3, 89 as of right now. Uh, you do not want me to list all of them, here’s a link, I guess!

in progress:

I don’t understand what the difference is between this question and the WIP questions lmao help????

posted WIPs that I have active plans to continue at this time:

Cowritten: mallverse as I said, and its femslash smut oneshots spinoff and character flashbacks spinoff and older characters/teachers spinoff (these get updated, uh, irregularly), the first half of a Piper/Snowflake SHIELD s7 fic that we are planning on finishing the second half of soonish, SHIELD Dollhouse AU, SHIELD Teen Beach AU, SHIELD Buffy AU. You may notice a pattern!

By myself, I have: Have Your Elf a Merry Little Christmas, a Terminator Hallmark Christmas fic that I ambitiously posted the first chapter of in 2019 and then lost steam immediately (I am going to go back to it sooner or later bc I had some cute ideas for it); the SHIELD Fate of the Furious AU that has one chapter to go and which I do intend on finishing eventually; Three Lawyers and a Little Lady, the Daredevil Accidentally Baby Acquisition AU that is literally just cute kidfic and poly avocados and which I have a bunch of ideas for and just need to buckle down and finish some.

posted WIPs that I have given up on:

Lol so there’s a Dollhouse Caroline/Bennett Doctor Who AU that I wrote purely as idfic and which nobody ever cared about except me, and I think that ship has sailed! RIP darlings. I also had an ongoing Skimmons series waaaay back when where I posted oneshots that were like missing scenes or gay readings for each s1 episode, and I just feel like it would be inauthentic to even try and finish it at this point. (It does include the first ever Skimmons fic to be posted on AO3! Really truly, there’s one fic that shows up as older but it’s an ongoing fic and was updated with the tag way after I posted mine.)

exchange fics due soon/unrevealed:

I haven’t done an exchange since like 2015 lololol I am so bad at them. I am currently working on finishing up my MCU Femslash bingo card, very late, and I do have plans for almost all of the remaining squares!

WIPs that live in my fanfic folder and are incomplete and who knows when they’ll be finished:

“RoseJannah horse girls,” which has been put on hold temporarily but is literally just Rose and Jannah being gay while riding orbaks

half of a Daisy/Gwen fic from Marvel Rising because I know they’re not making any more of those but I stg those two were really gay

multiple fics about Elise Nelson-Page including: avocados Halloween with smol Elise, Aunt Elektra very reluctantly taking smol Elise shopping until she realizes smol Elise also likes weapons (she buys her a fake katana), Uncle Frank is a pushover and spoils the shit out of Elise, and baby Elise has a high fever and everyone freaks out but then she gets better and smile at them for the first time (inspired by baby me lol).

coming soon/not yet started:

“Morgan has two mommies,” yet another Endgame fix-it where Maya Hansen did not die in Iron Man 3 and she resurfaces and she and Pepper kiss and eventually she adopts Morgan

Claire and Colleen go on a nice date to get coffee/tea where Danny doesn’t interrupt them goddammit

Bobbi/Kara Warehouse 13 AU which is sort of like “For the Team” but gayer ft. grappling hook

X-Men: Evolution Tabby/Amara fluff

Cameron/Donna character study disguised as smut

Grace proposes to Dani with a ring made out of the metal from her power source and Carl officiates the wedding

Dani gets horny watching Grace eat a peach and jerks off and Grace ends up hearing her and then they fuck (I have been calling this “the peach fic” in my head but I gotta stop being delicate about it lmfao it is just porn)

B and I have plans to do a Nico/Karolina Jasper in Deadland AU but we keep forgetting

I MUST WRITE FOGGY AND KAREN SADLY FUCKING IN A CHURCH WHILE THEY MOURN MATT THIS YEAR I STG

do you accept prompts:

uhhhhhh I have on occasion written a prompt for someone before but it’s pretty rare and I have enough trouble writing the shit I come up with in my own head lol. but never say never?

upcoming story you are most excited to write:

I’ve got a bit of the Bobbi/Kara Warehouse fic written and it’s nice to go back to that world. Also I’m weirdly excited about the Cam/Donna smutty character study I mentioned above, I have a lot of what I think are good ideas for it and it’ll be fun.

tagging @unwind-myself @swiftzeldas @swashbucklery @loved-the-stars-too-fondly and, if you want to, you!

#sometimes I write things

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sunny-wolff · 4 years

Text

secrets and lies

here is my first fic for the @badthingshappenbingo

Fandom: Marvel Pairing/Characters: Billy Russo x Reader, Frank Castle Prompt: Lured into a trap Summary: the one where you find out that your best friend is alive, your fiancé is one of the few that knew and set up the hit on your family. now, you must decide who you trust is telling the truth and come face to face with all the dirty secrets that have been hidden. Word Count: 5,510 Warnings: trust issues, betrayal, presumed death, minor violence, slight angst and hurt/comfort, threats of violence AO3 Link: here

Tumblr version after cut. enjoy! :)

~*~*~*~

“I need you to stop talking. You’re supposed to be dead.”

You stare disbelievingly at the man who showed up on your doorstep out of nowhere and is still talking like you never said a word. It’s a man you once knew very well. A man you grew up with and watched get buried next to his family. A man who is currently covered in blood, head to toe. While his face is bruised to all hell, like he willingly became someone’s personal punching bag. A man who is very clearly still alive. Your oldest and only cousin the King was standing in your kitchen like you guys do this every single week.

And the only thing he’s talking about how your fiancé isn’t who he says he is, how dangerous he is and that you are in serious danger.

“Please stop talking.” You try interrupting him again because you have no idea what the actual hell he is talking about. But like the stubborn ass he is, he just ignores you again.

“Francis, can you shut up for one second?!” Once he goes quiet, you take a much-needed deep breath and raise your hand toward his face. “Frankie, you’re alive. How are y—how is that possible? Where have you been?”

Frank walks up to you and pulls you in to his arms, squeezing you tightly. “I’m sorry kid. I know this must be a lot, but I need you to buck up and listen, yeah? I’ll explain everything later but right now I gotta keep the Princess safe.”

Holding your breath, you just leave your arms down at your sides. Not returning his hug at all because of that name.

That stupid nickname from when you were kids was confusing you, it was only used when things were extremely serious, or danger was around the corner. You had only heard it twice and both of those times were for very good reasons. The first time was when your dad was injured in his last tour over seas and Frank had come home to be the one to tell you. “Princess, I’m so sorry. Uncle, your dad, he is not coming home the same person that he left. He got hurt, real bad.” The second time was when his wife and kids were killed, and he knew someone was going after everyone close to him. “You need to get to the safe house now, Princess! I’ll explain later but I really need you to stay put until it’s safe.”

So, the fact that he is using that name, now, means something is very wrong and you finally hug him back.

You nod and stand straighter, clenching your jaw for a second. “Okay, marine. But don’t think you’re going to get out of this without explaining how you aren’t in the casket we- the casket I buried you in.” You try to fight the smile that happens when your cousin pulls away from the hug and takes the invisible crown off his head just to place it on yours.

“Wouldn’t think of it, princess. Now, like I was trying to tell you before you so rudely interrupted me – about Russo – you may want to sit down for this. It’s going to be a lot to take in.” With a single nod from you, Frank leads you over to the couch and sits on the coffee table in front of you.

A look settled over his face. It was a look that made your heart stop because it usually meant that someone died. The very last time you saw that look on him was when you were nine and Frank was the one to tell you that your mom was killed in a hit and run accident and you had to go live with him and his parents now.

Frank watched you for a couple minutes. Searching for something or just trying to find the right words to speak, you weren’t sure but whatever it was he must have figured it out.

In the next moment he is squeezing your hands once more before locking eyes with you. “Russo isn’t who he’s been pretending to be all these years.” Before you had the chance to say anything, Frank just gave you a look and you just listened to him explain what he meant.

That’s how you came to learn of the truth on the deaths of Maria and the kids and the attempted murder of your cousin. You learned about the reason behind all the killings that happened in Hells Kitchen with the gangs and in the prison. He told you everything he knew and did – like working with Micro, who had the something very similar happen to him, to take down the people who destroyed their lives, to chaining Daredevil to a roof because he was being annoying in trying to stop Frank when he was looking to ‘talk’ to the people at the carousel that day. Which you obviously scolded him for doing, after laughing for a few minutes since you now knew who Is behind the Daredevil mask, because chaining people to a roof is never a nice thing to do but Francis Castle was never nice to most people.

He told you about him taking the guns right from underneath Homeland’s nose and then stopping to pull out the agent in charge after the crash happened. You were informed that Curt knew about Frankie being alive and he had to stop you from going to Curt’s place to punch him in the nose for keeping this from you. And then finally Frank told you how your fiancé, Billy Russo, was involved in all of this.

And you cried.

You just cried and cried in his arms for well over an hour because you were too overwhelmed with all the information and a part of you couldn’t believe that Bill could do something like that to his family – to your family.

“He wouldn’t do that, Frankie. You’re wrong. Someone had to have gotten their information mixed up. Maybe Billy was another target on a list? What if it was meant to be only him that was supposed to be killed that day? You have to be wrong. You have to be.” You rambled on while tears still slid down your face.

Frank looked down at the floor and when he looked back up at you, he handed you a file that you did not even realize he had.

Through clenched teeth, he muttered, “I’m not wrong, princess. He was involved with my—with our family dying. I was supposed to die with them and according to that,” he gestured to the file in your hands. “He was going to either give you to the person he answers to as payment for something or he was going to let them come to finish off the Castle bloodline by killing you.”

Sitting there you were shocked and just staring at the closed file in your hands. You couldn’t find the strength to open it and look through the papers and read what your cousin was telling you. Frank Castle was a lot of things, but he was never a liar, so you knew without a doubt that he was being 1000 percent honest with you about what he found.

“Princess, there is one more detail that might really hurt you. It’s part of why I’m here, right now. I came as soon as I saw what was in that file.”

Loosening your grip on the folder, you let it fall to the floor as you stare at Frank’s constantly moving trigger finger. You don’t notice his other hand has moved until he places two fingers under your chin and tilts it up to look him in the eye.

“What is it?” A defeated sigh leaves your lips, “Frankie, what could possibly hurt me more than the learning that my fiancé had a part in the killings of our family, tried to have you killed more than once and is now trying to figure out the best way to deal with me? What is worse than all that?” You cry out.

Frank wipes a few tears away and squeezes your right hand. “Whatever he’s planning on doing, it’s being set up to happen on a specific date that’s coming up soon.”

“A specific date? Am I supposed to know what the hell that means? The only day that we have plans set for that is coming up is—no. Frank, please don’t tell me it—”

“It’s the 17th of October.” He pauses and squeezes your hand again. “His plan is supposed to go into motion on that day.”

A tearful smile crosses your face. “I’m going to die on the day proposed to me on?” A bitter laugh escapes you before you can stop it. “At least you can say Billy is very fucking consistent.”

Your cousin grips the back of your neck, squeezing and leans his forehead against yours. “Hey. You listen to me, yeah?” He grits out. “Don’t ever let me hear you say repeat that shit. You aren’t going to die, kid. I’ll kill every single one of them a thousand times over before they even think to lay a finger on you again, understand? We still have a while to get a plan together to get you out of here and away from him. You trust me, yeah?”

Nodding, you whisper. “Yeah, cousin. I trust you.” He nods once back at you and stands up heading back into the kitchen. You can hear him opening cabinets and the coffee machine start making noises, so you stay in your spot and just let everything settle in your head. This is way too much to handle all at once, with finding out your last family member has been alive all this time and the truth of what happened with your family. Then on top of that, learning that your fiancé, Billy fucking Russo, has been involved in all the bad shit.

Plus, now, you don’t even really know if you fell in love with a façade, he was forced to put on to keep you close for whoever he answers to or if you fell in love with the real Billy. You don’t know which would be worse at this point but either way, you were going to end up heartbroken. Now it was just a matter of if any deaths will come of it and if so, who’s death will it be?

When Frank comes back with two cups of plain black coffee you give him a small but thankful smile and take one from him. As you blow to cool it down, you realize something that makes your heart stop for the second or third time that night.

“Frank, you’re wrong.”

He takes a drink of the still boiling coffee and simply raises an eyebrow at you. Which roughly translates to, “I’m never wrong about anything but what are you talking about?”

Noticing your hands start to shake a little bit, you set the coffee down on the table and place them under your thighs. “You said we had a while to get a plan together, you’re wrong.”

“I’m not wrong, kid. It’s probably just your nerves on edge because of everything you heard today.”

You shake your head vehemently. “Frankie, you’re wrong! It’s October 15th right now which means there is a little over a day for your plan to come together before Billy comes back to get me. He told me he had a client a couple hours away to tend to but he would be back by our anniversary to take me out.”

Standing up, Frank walks over to you, pulls you up from the couch and into the bearhug that always had a way of making you feel extremely safe. “That’s plenty of time, don’t worry about it, yeah? Just go pack a bag princess, you’re going to come stay with me and Micro until this is settled.” You wrap your arms around his waist and softly agree to get some of your things together and once you’re done he grabs his duffle bag and places the file back in it and pulls you outside to a not-as-creepy-as-a-white- van and takes a route to where you will be staying for the foreseeable future.

Being at the bunker is very strange. You’ve only been here for five hours and you don’t have anything to do but worry and stress over the possibility of you dying or of Frank getting himself killed trying to protect you. So, you decide the best thing to do, instead of worrying on how you and your cousin will eventually die, is to hover behind Micro. Who, you learned is actually a guy named David Lieberman, after being there for ten minutes. The only reason you figured that out was when your cousin yelled it out as loud as possible when Micro insisted that ‘Micro’ was honestly his legal name and that was the only thing you could call him.

“You are always sucking the fun out everything, Castle. Stop being a fun-sucker.” David mumbles under his breath but loud enough you can still hear it and you let out a little snort, making him jump in his chair. “Jesus. You Castle’s are really trying to kill me, aren’t you? One with guns and the other is going to give be a damn heart attack.”

Trying and failing to stifle your laughter, you offer David some of your skittles as an apology and take a seat next to him. “I didn’t mean to scare you, Davey; I was just trying to see what you were doing and if it’s something I could learn.”

Micro raises an eyebrow at you. “You, princess of the Castle bloodline, want to learn how to do all,” he pauses to wave his hands towards all his computers, “this?”

You start to nod but that’s all you can do in reply before Frank walks over and shoves at David’s shoulder. “Shut it, Lieberman. Only I’m allowed to call her princess, yeah? And if I hear you call me a “fun-sucker” again I’m going to show you just how much fun I can be with all my new ‘toys’. Now, tell me what you have so far?”

David sends you a he is so bossy look before he starts typing and clicking on things all over his computer screens. You see some pictures of Billy pop up and it makes you flinch a little. Frank immediately notices, rolls his chair next to yours and knocks his knee against yours in the typical Castle way of saying, you’re not alone; I got you. Always.

Knocking your knee back in to his, you place your head on his shoulder and listen to David explain that Billy has been a 15-minute drive away from you for these past three weeks he’s been “working” and that he’s at some place that Frank had been before a few weeks ago. He goes on to show blueprints to three buildings and some notes, written in Billy’s writing, that are very detailed descriptions of ways to get away with lying to someone, who was trained by a marine to spot things or people out of place.

The one thing that stands out to you is the simple two sentences at the end of each description and those two sentences break your heart a little more each time you read them over again.

“Target will be completely unarmed when taken. They trust me irrevocably, so they won’t question a thing as long as I’m there to keep them in their place.”

You know there is going to be worse things than that as David keeps showing your cousin everything he’s found, so you decide to try and get some sleep. Standing, you lean down to give Lieberman a hug and thank him for letting you stay at his secret basement, man lair. Then you hug Frank and plant a kiss on his cheek before you go lay down on the little bed he set up for you. There isn’t a way out of this situation without one of the men you love with everything in you getting hurt.

You fall asleep quickly and sleep well into the next day; you honestly think you would have slept a lot longer if it wasn’t for your cousin getting mad at something Micro said or did and was currently threatening loudly to put a bullet in his leg.

Groaning loudly, you throw your arm over your eyes and murmur, “Frankie. Shut up and leave the poor guy alone. He’s had to live with you for however long it’s been and I know how that feels. Stop threatening him and just admit you have a soft spot for your little computer wizard.”

The only thing you hear after is David laughing as loud as he could and Frank grumbling as quietly as he could.

Just as you are on the edge of falling back by listening to the two men get along, you feel a body drop gracelessly down on the end of your little bed and is constantly moving. Finally peeking your eyes open, you see Micro wiggling in place where he dropped and Frank standing right behind him. Serious and grave looks glued to their facial features and you don’t have to be Einstein to know they have a plan but it’s not the best considering how short on time you are.

As you open your mouth to ask a question, David blurts out the ‘plan’.

Not saying anything, you stare at him until he finally repeats what he just blurted out.

“He has to take you.” David mumbles, quieter than before.

You glance back and forth between David and your cousin and wait for them to continue with the master plan.

“I don’t like it, but he’s right kid.” Frank continues. “Bill’s going to arrive at your place, where you will be dressed and waiting. You said he always takes you out to dinner for your engagement anniversary, right? Then that won’t change, let him do what he normally would, the only difference this time is we will be there watching out for you. You’re going to be safe the entire time, I promise you that.” He notices your hands are twitching where they lay in your lap and he places his on top. “It’s going to be okay, kid. I did some work while you were sleeping and now there is only one route he can take to get to your favorite restaurant but he has to drive by some empty warehouses to get there and I’ll be waiting for you in the third one, alright?”

Frozen in fear of what you realize is going to happen very soon, you nod your understanding of the plan and let it play out a few times in your head before you get up to get ready.

It’s time to soldier up, princess. You hear 15-year-old Frank’s words bounce around in your head as you finish the curling the last piece of your hair and put on your lipstick. We’ve got a war to win. These words come through next once you are in the car.

You look at the time on your phone and you try to get a handle on your nerves as you arrive to the condo you live at with Billy.

“You’ll be safe, Castle Junior. You know Frank will be in the third warehouse; he has the nails set in the road so the tires will go flat quick enough that Billy will have to stop right near the third warehouse, and Frank will handle everything else. I’ll be in the sky and everywhere else keeping an eye for his team.” Sending him a thankful smile for going over everything one last time you open the door and step out. Just as your about to close it, David calls for you again.

“Princess. When I say you need to go, please don’t ignore it. You may have met me for the first time yesterday, but it feels like I’ve known you as long as Frank has with all the stories he told me and neither of us can lose another person to these people.” You nod once and take a step back again, waiting to see if he says what you already know. When he doesn’t, you close the door and turn around to head into the building.

And that’s when you hear the motor of the window and his voice following you up the sidewalk.

“You may not get to say ‘goodbye’ to him, CJ. Don’t jeopardize your life to give him one.”

Not turning back to face the van, you tilt your head to the side to show you heard him. You wait there, unmoving, until you hear the van pull away before you take a shaky breath, steel your nerves once more and continue inside to what was once your home.

~~~~~~~

It is about two hours later when you are back on the road. You had dinner with your fiancé, talked about the future like you normally would, shared dessert, took pictures on your usual walk around the park. It was a normal anniversary celebration night. You were back in the SUV and on your way home when you realize you are nearing the stretch of road with all the warehouses. And a small part of you starts to feel the dread coming.

You frown at Billy when you notice he has his phone in his hand. “Hey, y’know it’s dangerous to text and drive, Bill? I wouldn’t want my fiancé to get arrested on our anniversary.” Billy chuckles and puts his phone back in his pocket. He pats your thigh twice before focusing back on the road.

Looking out the front windows you see the warehouses getting closer and your nerves spike. You start thinking about the worst-case scenarios and just as your about to call Micro, you see it. The smallest glint on the wall of one of the warehouses, that could be assumed to be made by the moonlight, but you knew better.

And that is when you hear a pop and Billy lets out a curse. “Sorry, baby. It’s probably just one of the tires going flat. I’ll get it fixed though, you just stay in the car, okay?” Nodding your head, you wait until you hear the car door shut before you look closer at the building. Looking for something other than the small glint on the wall and sure enough, you notice a shadow standing on the roof of the building.

It is not noticeable unless you were really looking for something that doesn’t belong. The only reason you were able to see it was the glint, which was the drone hovering over the shadow.

You knew without a shadow of a doubt that Frank had his face painted, vest on, at least three weapons on him and one near the entrance of the building where you are supposed to head towards – he’s ready for a war.

And as nervous, heartbroken and confused as you feel – so are you.

Within the first minute of Billy getting the spare tire out of the back of the SUV, he makes a joke about how this is a perfect place for an ambush. You knew it was a joke that he didn’t want you to hear because there was absolutely no reason for either of you to be ambushed. But you can tell by his body language, he’s not sure if he should be worried or not. When you climb out of the car, you can see that he’s trying to laugh it off.

Billy looks at you, with a question on the tip of his tongue when you both hear a noise from inside the warehouse.

As Billy pulls out his phone, he looks over at you and yells, “baby, get back in the car now! Stay there and stay hidden until I come back for you!” You don’t move, just stare at him as he sends a couple messages out and when he realizes, he begins to yell again.

That is until Frank jumps down on the wooden crates right in front of the car and suddenly, all hell breaks loose.

You turn to run towards the entrance, where you knew Frank had hid the other gun and where you’d be safe, but the second Billy sees it’s Frank standing there all geared up, your fiancé immediately rushes to stand between you and his old best friend. It confuses you for a second and that split second is what causes your mind to spiral into the questions you avoided thinking about.

Why is he protecting you now? Why was he involved with what happened to your family? How did he get involved in all this? Why didn’t he stop it? If he was scared why didn’t he tell Frank or you or anyone else? Why did he do it at all? Why did he propose when he knew that the Castle’s were the only family you had, and he took that all away – from both of you? Why is he doing this now? Why didn’t frank come to you sooner? Why you? Why is he trying to break the last few pieces of your heart by not owning up to his plan of handing you over to his boss or killing you? Why in the hell do you still love him knowing everything he’s done and plans to do?

You don’t realize you were mumbling some of these questions until Billy turns around and faces you with a stunned look and an angry glint in his eyes. And now you are face to face with the man who has the blood of your family on his hands. The man who is trying to convince you everything your cousin has told you is a lie.

Billy is begging you to believe him. “Tesoro. C’mon, please don’t tell me you actually believe him? He’s been lying to you for months about not actually being dead! How can you believe him that I was apart of what happened to your family?” When you don’t say anything he shakes his head and a long sigh escapes his lips. “Okay, I haven’t been completely honest about this but neither has he, baby. Your cousin knew about what happened to Maria and the kids because he helped set it up! He didn’t want to give up killing when we came back from our last tour. He got addicted to it and he knew they would hold him back from doing what he wanted. That’s the truth.”He HH

He grabs your left hand and runs his thumb over your engagement ring. “This, right here baby, should show you who is on your side.” Pulling your hand out of his, you feel a tear fall down your face as you take a step back. You see the moment Billy realizes he’s already lost you and that’s when he grabs your face and kisses you hard, trying to make a statement, trying to bring you back to him. Shoving him back you realize you’re full on crying and mumbling repeatedly, “why, why, why?”

Your fiancé leans to grab you again and Frank finally gets Billy’s attention again. Frank hasn’t said a single word since this whole thing started playing out. The only thing he does is aim his gun right at Bill’s head the minute Billy starts whispering something to you in Italian. As your brain registers what he’s said, you start crying harder than before and stumble back against the car.

“You aren’t telling her the truth, Bill. Tell her what you did!” Frank spits out. “Tell her how you were going to give her over to Agent Orange once you got home! Yeah. I know about it all. I know everything that you’ve been doing and every pot you have your hands in. Tell the woman you love, the woman you proposed too, tell my baby cousin how you planned her death out, Russo!”

Billy starts shaking his head back and forth. Talking about things that don’t make sense and when he mentions the steak and ribs dinner he loves to have; you know what’s happening.

You sense, more than feel, Bill move to grab the gun from his belt before you drop the knife from your sleeve and hold it to his neck. “You’re stalling, micio,” you say hoarsely. “Please don’t do anything stupid and just do what Frankie says.”

Billy laughs, it’s one you’ve never heard before and you can see a darkness in his eyes that was never there before. “C’mon, anima mia, put that down. You aren’t going to use it. You’ll only hurt yourself or if Frankie boy keeps aiming that gun at me, I could kill you with it before he gets one shot off.”

With a tearful laugh, you shake your head in slight disappointment. “Bill, please. Please just stop this. I-I- I will do this, you know that. You know I’ll hurt you if I have to because you are the one who trained me for this exact situation,” you murmured. “Granted, you swore it would probably be a random stranger or someone who wanted to go after you, so you made me train for weeks upon weeks until you thought I was good enough. I was your secret weapon, remember?”

Bill moves suddenly and you let the training he gave you kick in as you slice across his chest before you stab it into his shoulder. The way you moved gave Frank an opening and you heard the gun go off four times. You completely expected the shots to be in his chest but they there was one in each of his legs and two in his gut.

There was a lot of blood and Billy wasn’t moving. But neither were you. Frank was still giving him the chance to tell you the truth but it was like time had stopped.

You were staring at his shoulder. At the knife Frankie got you before he left to his last deployment, sticking out of your fiancé’s shoulder. You were numb. Nothing was really registering in your head, you still couldn’t believe Billy was part of this whole thing to begin with.

You didn’t realize you were still crying and you completely forgot you weren’t alone with your slowly dying fiancé until you felt a hand softly touch your shoulder before your cousin turned you away from Billy’s body.

“I’m sorry this happened, princess. I didn’t want to get you involved in this,” He pulls you in to a hug and you grip onto his arms. “But you deserved to know, and I knew if our positions were switched you would have told me too.”

Frank’s phone went off and he answered it while you still clung to him. You weren’t really paying attention to his words because he shifted his stance and now you were again staring at Billy from over his shoulder. Only this time his eyes were open and it looked like he was trying to speak while reaching out for you.

Frank tightened his grip around you and kissed the side of your head. “C’mon kid, we gotta go, yeah? His back up is about seven minutes out.”

You nodded once and let Frankie start leading you away before something in you forced you to stop and run back to where Billy laid. Your cousin didn’t try to stop you, he knew this was the only closure you could get so he let you go. Dropping to your knees you grab Billy’s hand and lean your forehead against his. “I’m sorry,” you croak and squeeze your eyes shut and try to get your breathing under control. “Ti amo, più di ogni altra cosa, mio amore. Sempre.”

You hear Frank’s phone ring again and his gruff voice calls out, “princess, I hate to do this but we gotta go now. That was a two-minute warning.”

You nod not caring if he is looking as you stare into Billy’s eyes for a second before you place one last kiss on his lips.

You get up and run to Frank’s side as he heads towards the exit. You turn your head as you get to the door and then your hand is in Frank’s as he pulls you along to the van where David was waiting. There was no other sound other than both of your footsteps on gravel and the lingering echo of the final words to your fiancé.

“Maybe in another lifetime, goodbye my love.”

What you didn't hear as you ran towards safety was someone running through the building or Billy's reply as the person applied pressure to his wounds.

"In every lifetime, I’m yours. I'll find you again in this one, my love, and I will get you back."

#badthingshappenbingo #fandom: marvel #billy russo x reader #billy russo #frank castle #david lieberman #the punisher #trust issues

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glassprism · 4 years

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Since you're also in other fandoms, are there any ships/pairings you like? Who's your favourite pairing in POTO? Who are your favourite characters (from POTO to all your other fandoms) and why? Ooh, here's a rather unusual one: who's your favourite side character (name one for all your fandoms!) and why?

Yeah, definitely! Though whether some can be counted as actual “ships” is debatable, as you’ll see in a bit.

For Phantom, my favorite “ship” is the love triangle - E/C/R. Not in a polyamorous, threesome way, but one where I love the dynamics of the characters, the way they affect one another, the ways Erik and Raoul are similar and different. So it’s not quite a “ship” in a traditional sense where I want characters to end up with each other, but more in the sense that I like to explore and analyze them.

As for other “ships” or pairings, I’m just going to list, like, every fandom or random-ass thing I’ve ever loved in semi-chronological order (time to go back to my middle school fandoms!). Under the cut for length.

Harry Potter: Sirius Black and Harry Potter. I adored the godfather-godson bond between the two (absolutely no romance; I clicked on an mpreg fic of the two when I was but a wee lass of twelve and it scarred me): how Harry was the last living reminder of Sirius’s best friend, whose death he still feels responsible for; how Sirius is the parental figure Harry wanted, how they were never able to be happy god damn it Rowling. (You can imagine how much my eleven year old self cried when I read the fifth book. Oh boy, the tears.)

Star Wars: Vader and Luke. Again, totally familial, father-son relationship only. (Speaking of scarring experiences, I once stumbled on a romance fic between the two, where yes, both of them were still father and son, and I have that summary etched into my brain permanently.) The way Vader obsessively hunts down Luke, the first emotional connection he has had with a person in literal decades! The way Luke has just ached all his life for a father figure, to the point where he will take a homicidal Sith lord if that’s who he is! How he never gives up on trying to redeem him! How Luke is right. Loud screeching.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Will Turner and Bootstrap Bill and Will Turner and Henry Turner. More sad father-son dynamics (you may be noticing a pattern here). Repeat what I said with the Star Wars relationships, only with more pirates and less homicide. (And way more parental abandonment guilt.)

Halloween: Michael Myers and Laurie Strode, remake universe. Yet again, no romance, just a severely messed-up brother-sister relationship. I can’t begin to tell you why I like the horrific relationship between a serial killer and the little sister he was so obsessed with he ruined her life, completely traumatized her, and ended up leading to her death, but I do. Maybe it’s the dark obsession aspect of it, that in the midst of all his murders, there’s still one person Michael Myers longs to have a connection with, the baby sister who represented total innocence in his mind. Maybe it’s the “what could have been” aspect too, as Laurie never recognizes him or realizes their connection until it’s far too late. Maybe I need to re-examine my life choices. I’ll figure it out someday.

Bat Boy The Musical: Bat Boy/Shelley. Yes, this is a romance; yes, they are half-brother and half-sister, yes, you can get on me about this, but in my defense how about you watch the musical and NOT come out of it shipping these two against all your better instincts.

POTO: E/C/R, as stated above and for all those reasons. Oh, and you know what - The Phantom and Gustave from Love Never Dies. Can’t get away from those father-son ships. I actually care about that relationship than E/C or R/C in LND (maybe because both E/C and R/C suck in the sequel so what else am I going to latch onto).

Batman: Listed here, but my heart really lies with three ships. Jaytim is the first: it’s the whole “angry woobie destroyer of worlds who hates everyone meets seemingly well-adjusted and cheerful individual who is secretly hiding their own issues” dynamic. Bane/Talia from The Dark Knight Rises is the second. Doesn’t matter if it’s familial, friendship, protector and protectee, or romantic, I eat it up, and to be fair, it’s never explicitly stated what the relationship is in the movie. All we know is that the two grew up together in a hellhole prison, probably dependent on and solely trusting only one another, and that bond continues even after they leave, and not even death will make them leave one another. Finally, we have Jason Todd/therapy from the Arkham games. Because the poor guy needs it.

MCU: STEVE/BUCKY (aka Stucky). This ship (again, could be friendship or romantic) dominated my thoughts for four years. Steve’s fish-out-of-water status! Bucky’s horrific imprisonment under Hydra. The way the two find each other after and the angst. The fact that Steve refuses to kill Bucky and, even after seventy years, succeeds in breakthing through to him because their connection runs that deep. The fact that Marvel just ruined this relationship so now I have to rely on fanfic. Oh yes, and I also slowly fell into the Kastle ship (Frank Castle aka The Punisher and Karen Page). Another “hardened killer with sad backstory who connects to idealistic young woman with hidden darkness” dynamic.

Terminator: T-800 aka “Uncle Bob” and John Connor. Returning to sad father-son dynamics, I have this from Terminator 2. A robot learning emotions! A boy learning to take his place as a leader and all-loving hero. The bond they form, partially because the T-800 will do nothing else but protect John and partially because John has no father-figure of his own, so his robot bodyguard will do. THE ENDING.

ASOIAF/GOT: I actually have very few ships from here other than Arya/Gendry (and only when they’re older) and, weirdly, Theon/Sansa from the show. The Gendrya ship is just cute, it may well be the most wholesome ship on here, while Theonsa has shades of Stucky in it, I suppose, given that Theon has been tortured so badly he can barely remember his own name, until Sansa turns up and reminds him enough that he breaks out of it to help her.

Favorite characters from each of those:

Harry Potter: My favorite characters from here are probably more side characters, so I’ll just say Hermione Granger. Her focus on academics, fear of failure, and conviction that the library holds all the answers, felt all too reminiscent of myself.

Star Wars: Darth Vader, no contest whatsoever. Cool mask, cool cape, cool lightsaber, and the absolute worst life one can imagine.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Interestingly, Will Turner. Yeah, I guess Jack Sparrow is cool and Elizabeth is absolutely awesome to watch and has the greatest change in the series, but oh-so-serious Will, with his deep loyalties and slow slide into moral ambiguity because of those loyalties, fascinates me.

Halloween: Laurie Strode, all versions. My favorite final girl, my survivor of trauma (except in the remake, where, well, she doesn’t survive). Also, her daughter in the Thorn trilogy, Jamie Lloyd, the most tragic little girl to walk across a horror movie screen.

Bat Boy The Musical: Ah, wow, haven’t thought about this. I guess Bat Boy and Shelley, more by default than anything.

POTO: Christine Daae, no contest. Love her character, love her arc, love her songs, love her costumes.

Batman: Listed here.

MCU: Bucky Barnes (unless he counts as a side character), but I also love Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, Karen Page, Elektra Natchios... and I’ll leave it at that.

Terminator: John Connor. (There’s a reason I haven’t watched Dark Fate yet... or ever.)

ASOIAF/GOT: Three of them! Daenerys Targaryen, who I love because she tries so hard to rule well, who is so observant and cognizant of the things going on around her. Then Sansa Stark, who makes such astounding growth, who retains her empathy and compassion throughout, who is capable of startling perception and insight which most others underestimate. And finally, Cersei Lannister. She’s terrible. I love her.

And favorite side characters from each of those:

Harry Potter: Sirius Black may well have been my first fictional crush. But Remus Lupin is the kind of person (and teacher) I aspire to be.

Batman: I swear, depending on the comic series or movie, everyone is a side character. I’ll just link to my old ask again.

Star Wars: Batman syndrome all over again; every character in Star Wars might be a side character elsewhere, and every side character gets to be the main character of their own comic, book, movie, etc. Erm... I really liked Rose from the sequel trilogy and Chirrut Imwe from Rogue One. I find Mara Jade from the Legends universe fun to read. WAIT I GOT IT - Queen Amidala’s handmaidens from Episode I (Sabe, Rabe, Eirtae, Yane, Sache). Highly trained in both politics, decorum, and weaponry, able to be utterly nondescript or the Queen’s decoy at the drop of a hat? I love.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Hmm... you know what, I thought Syrena the mermaid was pretty cute.

Halloween: Rachel Carruthers! Your typical girl-next-door but well done and with a touching relationship with her foster sister. I will die mad about her death in the fifth movie.

Bat Boy The Musical: Uh.... I’ll get back to you on this...

POTO: Carlotta is super fun.

MCU: Oh heck, Dottie Underwood. (My taste in female characters goes like this: a) intelligent and observant, 2) sweet and compassionate, 3) batsh*t insane. She’s the third.)

Terminator: Not sure how much of a side character she is, but Kate Connor. Wife and second-in-command to John Connor, able to heal wounds and kick butt depending on what the movie requires.

ASOIAF/GOT: I’ll probably think of someone else, but you know what? Queen Rhaenys Targaryen, younger sister and wife to Aegon the Conqueror, whom he wed out of desire. Playful, spirited, loved to fly, sponsored musicians, initiated reforms for the smallfolk, what’s not to love? (Apart from one possibility of her death... but we don’t talk about that.)

#Anonymous #GP gets asks

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dumbchickwrites · 5 years

Text

Brought Me Back.

Pairings: Frank Castle x Reader.

Warnings: a lil angst, smut!

A/N: I don’t remember if at this point of the series Amy is already Amy, so my apologies if I messed up.

***

“Hey, what you doin’?” you asked Amy who was rummaging Dinah’s kitchen cupboards.

“I swear to God, that woman is some kind of bird. What kind of person only eats grains and nuts?”

You laughed at her exasperated expression. Dinah had been kind enough to let you stay here with Frank and Amy. The poor woman was still tormented by Billy, after all this time and you really pitied her. She deserved some kind of closure. She deserved better. Looking at Amy, you thought that she deserved better too, no matter what kind of life she had before entering yours, or what she’d done. She was just a kid.

Glancing at the clock on the oven, you let out a big sigh. Frank had been out for quite some time now and you started worrying a bit more. He’d went out to get info out of some Russian guys and you prayed that he was okay.

“Thinking about your boyfriend?” Amy teased, making you smile. “I really can’t find anything. How about some pizza?”

As if on cue, the heavy wooden front door opened, revealing Frank covered in blood. He was grumpy, as usual, but you could see that he wasn’t majorly injured.

“Wow, great timing,” you said. “We were just about to order some pizza.”

He raised both of his thumbs at you and Amy before disappearing in the bedroom. Amy sighed, opening her brand new laptop to order the pizza, you assumed.

“How did this begin anyway? I mean, you two are pretty cute with you as the sunshine next to Frank’s big dark cloud but I just can’t wrap my head around how you met.”

“Oh, you want me to tell you a story? Is that what this is?” you smirked.

“Yep! I wanna hear everything about the time mommy and daddy first met.”

“Well, how do I start… So I was a hitwoman, right. I was pretty good. I used to get paid y’know, depending on the target, or I’d work ‘freelance’ kind of like Frank. I had very good deals with the Italian mafia, by the way. So one day I get this deal, right. Half of the money upfront, the other half after the job was done. It’s this weird sketchy ass motherfucker, a child molester, fucking disgusting. At first I wouldn’t accept the money ‘cause I thought, it’s for a good cause, but I got bills to pay.

“So I get in the building. It was hella creepy, it gave me the chills, kids clothes hanging on the walls, some of them torn, even bloody. I remember this little pink fairy costume… it absolutely broke my heart. Anyway, I’m distracted by the clothes then I hear a silenced gunshot. The bullet lands in the wall, right next to my head. I turn around and there’s the fucking Punisher. We fight for like a minute before realizing that we’re here for the same thing. So we finish the guy together and leave. He sees blood on my clothes — a GSW from a previous job and he offers to take me back to his place where his friend can stitch me up properly.”

“So what, you had sex?”

“No!” you snorted. “We talked all night, and realized we were kind of the same; two hollow souls killing to make peace with themselves,” you took a sip of your cooling tea. “You see kid, I was in a very bad place. I was lost, I was desperate, y’know I didn’t know if I had a purpose in this world. I’d already tried to end my life a few times, put a bullet in my mouth,” you tried to swallow the big lump forming in your throat. “But Frank, he—he brought me back from that dark place, you know, just by being by my side. I now have someone I care about, something to live for. I wish I could say that he felt the same though. His family still haunts him, and I’m not saying that I want him to forget them and live for me like I live for him, but I wish I was enough.”

Amy observed uncomfortably as you were struggling to regain your composure. It wasn’t often that you had the occasion to talk about your feelings and pour your heart out to someone, but you were glad to finally let everything out. It felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders.

“Sorry kid, this just got a little heavy for you, huh?” you let out a humourless chuckle.

“No, it’s fine. Really. So… you love him?”

“Yeah,” you sighed. “Yeah I guess I do. But I don’t think he knows that. I’m afraid he’d go running for the hills if I told him and I really don’t want to lose him.”

“Well I can’t tell you what’s in Frank’s head but I can give you a hug, maybe?” she gave you a crooked smile, her arms opened.

“Yeah, I’d like that, come here.”

The blonde girl went around the counter to meet you and wrapped her arms around you.

“Thanks kid. You’re a good listener.”

“Yeah, I know, I get that a lot.”

Amy stretched her limbs out as the credits rolled up on the TV screen. It had been the coziest evening you had in a while, watching a stupid movie with pizza and two people you deeply cared about.

“I’m going to bed,” Amy stated. “Good night.”

“I’ll be there in a minute,” you said after her, since you were both sleeping on the bed.

You sat up from your comfortable spot in Frank’s arms and started cleaning up the coffee table.

“You barely ate,” Frank pointed out, following you in the kitchen, cans of Coke in hand. “Is something wrong?”

“Nah, it’s just that whole quiet life thing that got me putting on a few stupid unwanted pounds so I’m just, you know, trying to change that,” you answered, still tidying up Dinah’s place.

Frank froze for a moment, as if he had trouble processing the information before chuckling while shaking his head.

“That’s bullshit. I mean, to me at least. I like it,” he slapped and squeezed your ass, making it jiggle in your black sweatpants. “I really, really like it.”

You rolled your eyes at his behavior. “Very mature, Castle.”

“Hey, come here a sec,” he sat on a stool. “Look, I, uh, I heard you talking to the kid earlier.”

Your eyes widened as your heart sank in your chest. He heard you. He knew you were in love with him. He was going to leave and never come back and you’d be all alone again. Could you survive another loss? What will you do? Will you go back to wandering around the city as an assassin who claimed to be a vigilante? Your heart rate became quicker. You were scared. You’d just lost everything. You closed your eyes briefly, cursing yourself for even talking to Amy in the first place.

“And, uh, you make me better too. Before, when I was hurt, I could just let myself die, you know. I was waiting for death every morning, every second of the day I hoped it would find me. But now, knowing that I have you waiting for me somewhere, it just—it just gives me strength, you know. You’re more than enough,” he raised a calloused hand to your face, cupping your cheek, and you leaned in it. “You can never lose me. I love you.”

He moved his hand to the back of your neck to pull you in a passionate kiss. At that moment, you were certain your heart was going to explode in your chest. You thought you’d already met the love of your life once, but that wasn’t the case. Frank loved you back. That was all that mattered at the moment. Well maybe a wild Billy in the streets and an even wilder preacher looking guy trying to kill you, but all of this was moved to the back of your mind the second Frank’s lips met yours.

“I wanna hear you say it, (Y/N),” he whispered against your lips. “Say it.”

“I love you, Frank. I love you.”

With a grunt, he picked you up, hands massaging your ass, to lead you to the couch, where he laid you down, his lips still devouring yours. His fingers found the base of your black tank top, reading to remove it.

“Wait, wait, wait,” you whispered. “What about the kid? She’ll hear us! And this is Dinah’s couch!”

His eyes locked on yours, he slid a hand in your underwear feeling your already soaking core, as he circled one of your hard nipples over your top with his other thumb.

“Yeah, I think you’re thinking just like me. Fuck this and fuck that,” two of his fingers entered your tight pussy. “What do you say, doll?”

“Fuck me. Please.”

“Nah, sweetheart,” he took of his shirt in one swift move and unbuckled his belt. “I’m making love to you tonight.”

He undressed you as fast as he could, only leaving you with your panties. He took his time to remove them, leaving kisses all over your legs down to your inner thighs where he bit and kissed every inch of your skin. He hooked two fingers on the sides of your black number, and slowly, very slowly, slid it up your legs to watch as your juices separated between your skin and the fabric of your underwear. Satisfied, Frank’s fingers found their way inside of you again, making you a whimpering mess as he moved them in and out of you, while simultaneously playing with your nipples.

He brought you to the edge of your release only to deprive you of it. He looked content of it, the asshole. You watched as he rose to his feet to remove his pants and his underwear, licking your lips at the sight of his hard cock. You spread your legs, as ready as you’ll ever be. Goosebumps covered your body when you felt the tip of his cock on your throbbing clit.

“Tell me again,” he demanded, his thumb caressing your lower lip.

“I love you, Frank. I love you more than anything,” you said, cupping his face with your hands. He closed his eyes and kissed your palms, leaning into your comforting touch. As he bent down to kiss you, you became more intimate than ever, physically and emotionally. You had hope that everything would be okay as long as he held you in his arms, as long as his skin would be agaisnt yours nothing could get to you, nothing could break you.

He buried his face in the crook of your neck as his thrusts deepened, his grunts sounding like the greatest melody you’d ever heard. The skin of his back was soft under your hands, his own delicately raising your legs to rest them on his shoulders, giving him a better angle to pound into you. The spark that lit up between you had turned into a fire that you could now see in his eyes as he looked at you; helpless, completely giving yourself to him. He looked at you like you were the most beautiful thing on earth when you were a reflection of him.

He switched positions to have you on top. You could now run your hands all over each other’s upper body. You touched and kissed every scar you could reach, letting him know that you loved them as much as you loved him because they’re a part of him and his story. He held your hips to slow down the pace, making the strokes slower and deeper.

Then you felt it. Every muscle in your body tensed up as you finally found your release. Frank kissed you to muffle your moans, still pounding into you to make your orgasm last as long as possible. He came soon after you under the contractions of your pussy, staying inside of you even after it was over.

“Everything’s gonna be okay,” he whispered against your lips as you ran your fingers through his hair.

“How do you know?” you asked, eyes welling up with emotion.

“‘Cause I got you.”

A FEW WEEKS LATER.

The weather seemed to be linked to Frank’s mood. Hell, to his life even. Rain was pouring down on him as he started at the big stone in front of him. His face was blank. He didn’t even know if he should be sad or angry. He had no one else to blame but himself. He’d done that to you.

“Frank, come on,” a soft voice said.

Karen squeezed Frank’s arm to bring him back to reality but it was like he wasn’t there. Curtis and Dinah exchanged a worried look. Frank was broken for good now. There was no fixing him. Not anymore.

“I told you,” Frank finally spoke, eyes still glued to your tombstone. “There’s no warm, cozy ending for me.”

#frank castle #frank castle x reader #the punisher #the punisher x reader #frank castle fic #the punisher fic

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thebatmarino · 5 years

Text

The DCEU’s next Batman should be played by Dick Grayson

Batman and Robin. Words that have gone together like Peanut Butter and Jelly for around 80 years. Everybody in the world knows that Batman’s younger sidekick is Robin. Many know that Robin is Dick Grayson, fewer know that Dick grew up to become Nightwing, and even fewer still that he has spent time as Batman. With the recent activity in DC film, I want to talk about my favorite superhero, what makes him great, and most importantly, why I believe Dick Grayson is the answer to the DCEU’s Bat situation. To start, we’re going to rewind to 1940, when Robin was introduced to the world in Detective Comics #38.

Batman was created in 1939. A grim figure of the night, Batman spoke very little, a trait that has held through to this day. At the time however, legend has it that Bill Finger and Bob Kane were tired of drawing thought bubbles for him, so they needed to give him someone to talk to. But who? Well, Batman was a Sherlock Holmesian figure, it was Detective Comics after all, so they needed to give him a Watson. A character who’s intelligent, capable, and a proxy for the readership so they can join Batman on his adventures. The readership at the time (target readership, we know girls love and read comics too, but this was 1940) was 12 year old boys, and who might they look up to? Robin Hood starring Errol Flynn came out in 1938, he seems pretty cool. And a Robin keeps up the motif of flying animal that Batman started. And there you have it, Robin the Boy Wonder was born.

The creation of Robin is also the birth of the Teenage Sidekick. Since then, every teen sidekick from Bucky to Kid Flash owes a debt to the creation of Robin. As more and more sidekick characters populated the comic scene, something happened at DC Comics in particular that is one of my favorite things about the brand: the idea of Legacy Characters.

Consider the Justice League for a moment. Let’s look at the big 6: Wonder Woman, Superman, Batman, Green Lantern, Flash, and Aquaman. These characters are the Greek Gods reborn. They are iconic, they are mythological. Each one of them proudly displays a symbol that they adhere to. “I believe in love and equality”, “There is hope for everyone”, “I will drag myself through Hell for justice”, “by force of will, I will overcome all fear to save the world”, “I will always make time to help people”, “I will be the great uniter of disparate people”, or whatever you interpret the thesis of these characters to be. They are perfect embodiments. The problem with perfection is that real people can’t attain that. We can try. We can stumble and fall. And that is exactly what the Legacy Characters attempt to be. These characters are absolute representations in ways that humans are generally not. They are aspirational. That’s why there’s merchandise out the wazzu (do people still say that?), so you can see a person on the street with that Green Lantern symbol and know that person wants to overcome fear.

Dick Grayson was the first. For many years Dick was happily Robin, going on strange adventures with Batman and friends, whupping ass in green short pants. He even formed a team of sidekicks, known as the Teen Titans along with Wonder Girl, Kid Flash, Aqualad, and Speedy. All teenagers struggling to live up to their “parents”. These perfect people who’s symbols they have taken as their own and sworn to uphold. Then something interesting happened. In 1984, in Tales of the Teen Titans #44, Dick Grayson debuted his Nightwing persona.

Dick Grayson had been growing up. Which is a thing yet again, never done in comics before. For some time now, a rift had been growing between the Dark Knight and his Squire. Dick had gone off to college, formed his own super-team, and was going through the typical growing pains of a young person trying to step out on their own. No longer feeling the identity of his 12 year old fancies were fitting, he picked an adult, darker name that still reflected and honored where where he came from (the origins of this name are toyed with and retconned, but the connections between Bats and Wings of the Night cannot be denied).

As Nightwing, Dick Grayson was his own man, ran his life and heroics how he saw fit, and most importantly, didn’t answer to Batman. Until Knightfall happened. In the events of this story, Bane broke Bruce’s spine, resulting in Bruce choosing a man named Jean-Paul Valley as the new Batman. Jean-Paul went nutso and nearly killed Bane and begun a reign of hyper-vigilante terror in Gotham, so Bruce badassed his way back to walking because comic books, and whupped his ass. Before restoring himself as the one true Batman, Bruce asked the one man qualified in all the world to take up the mantle to do so: Dick Grayson. Yet again, we have a comic book first: a legacy character fulfilling their legacy. This didn’t last long however, Bruce did what he had to do, and Dick dutifully (and reluctantly) filled in as long as required.

Nightwing then got a brilliant solo series by Chuck Dixon and Scott McDaniel, which to this day is probably the most influential run on the character. Before we move on in his publication history though, I think it’s important to understand WHO Dick is, and WHY he is. After all, what makes this 12 year old boy so special that he becomes Batman’s right hand man in a war on crime?

Richard John Grayson, aka Dick, was born to John and Mary Grayson of the legendary Flying Graysons of Haly’s Circus. The reason they were legendary was because they flew without the safety of a net. Dick grew up on the trapeze with no net. No fear, no cares in the world, except being a child star performer. After a mob boss tries to unsuccessfully extort money from the circus, they murder the Graysons by tampering with the trapeze before Dick’s very eyes. The young orphan was observed by another orphan in the crowd, Bruce Wayne, who took him in. It wasn’t really successfully explained why a 12 year old seemed okay to take out fighting crime until the two part episode of Batman: The Animated Series, Robin’s Reckoning. Like a young Bruce, Dick was consumed with his parents’ murder. Each night, unfulfilled by the guardianship of an absentee Bruce Wayne, Dick would sneak out and try to track down leads on his parents’ killer. Eventually he got in over his head and Batman bailed him out and returned him to the Batcave. This boy knew no fear. He would return to the streets night after night. He would get himself killed. Unless he was trained how to not die by a certain… bat themed expert at not-getting-killed-by-criminal-scum. Bruce revealed his identity to Dick, which also explained why he was busy so much of the time, and in the Batcave, Dick swore an oath by candlelight to uphold justice and everything Batman stood for. The training was gruelling. Probably inhumane. But eventually Dick was allowed to accompany Batman on the streets as his sidekick.

Dick Grayson was saved by Bruce Wayne. Where Bruce was in uncharted territory sorting his rage, vengeance, and pain, Dick Grayson had a guide. A Mentor. Someone who had been exactly where he was, and could keep him from being consumed by darkness. And that’s reflected in their uniforms. The bright boy and the dark man. Adding to that, the Wayne’s murderer got away. There will be no vengeance or justice for Batman, just a gaping wound. Dick got justice for his parents. He saw that what they did worked, and that he could keep doing it for other people. Whereas Batman is driven by a desire to hurt those who hurt others, Dick is here to help. That’s something Tom King wrote into his character over and over during his run, the words “how can I help”. And if you look at the jobs he’s held down since striking out on his own: Police Officer, Guidance Counselor, Personal trainer, even bartending at a cop bar where he could give these guys relief (as well as pick up some leads) are all acts of service towards others. Which when the time came, made him a very different Batman.

The time eventually came. Bruce Wayne was “dead” (as dead as anyone is in comics), and Gotham City was in chaos. Initially Bruce left instructions for Dick not to become Batman. Because Nightwing was strong enough. He was his own man and Bruce believed in what he was doing. However, Gotham needs Batman, the symbol. And for the first time truly, not just putting on the cape and cowl, but deep in his bones, Dick Grayson became Batman. Fulfilling the legacy. He is not Bruce Wayne, just like we cannot be Bruce Wayne, but he can do his best to live up to what the symbol of The Batman means to him, just like us. Which brings me to where Dick Grayson is the future of the cinematic Batman franchise.

Over the last few years, we are experiencing a massive shift in how our male heroes are percieved. In the 80s which gave birth to Dark Knight Returns, a huge influence on the DCEU Batman, we saw a trend of hypermasculinity in our heroes. They were JACKED, strong, fearless, .50 Cal from the hip, Macho Men, stoic badasses that were too busy punching out teeth and blowing shit up to feel sissy-ass feelings. And that is where Batman has lived for years in comic continuity. He doesn’t say I love you, he doesn’t hug, he doesn’t feel feelings, he’s a rage-powered badass dressed all in black that kicks in criminals’ kneecaps because he probably kind of likes it. At the end of the day, you read enough of these comics and question whether or not Batman is actually a good man. Is he doing this to save the day, or inflict pain? Probably some of both.

As we survey the current landscape of masculinity, of heroism, of feminism, it’s important to question our heroes. It’s important to question, is this the ideal that we want people to strive for? In Batman V. Superman: Dawn of Justice, we saw that Frank Miller Dark Knight Returns in all his glory. In my opinion, Ben Affleck’s portrayal of Batman was my favorite thing about that film. He was deliciously brutal, he was stubborn in his righteousness, he was extreme in his methodology, he was....murdering people? He was losing himself. He was so caught up in his need for violence, his need for war that he attempted to murder superman with a freaking spear. I suspect Justice League was intended to have a more redemptive arc for the demon he had become, but in any case, he has still become a monster. He has dwelled in hell so long that he has become the very type of devil he sought to destroy.

The best thing for Bruce Wayne would be to leave this life behind somehow. Pass the cowl on to the man who he trained for this very purpose. A hero that exemplifies modern healthy masculinity. Who can say “I love you”, who wants to seek justice more than vengeance, who can maintain healthy friendships and relationships, who believes in kindness, friendship, and laughter. I think it is time for Dick Grayson to take his place in cinematic history as Batman.

That doesn’t even touch upon the fact that the DCEU Batman is around 45 years old. While incredible and imaginative, they’ve set him at a natural age to retire from jumping off rooftops and withstanding repeated head trauma. If you look at Batman as a pro athlete, you simply do not see them at his age and doing tremendously well. Which when your sport is dodging gunfire and acting as bait for super aliens so other super aliens can clobber them, is not great. I think DC Entertainment is looking for ways to have a more youthful Batman, and I believe Dick Grayson is part of that natural path.

And that doesn’t mean we won’t have Bruce Wayne stories. As the news has just dropped, Matt Reeves is telling his own young Bruce tales. But as far as the Batman that stands shoulder to shoulder with Wonder Woman, and Superman? Here we have a young man in Dick Grayson coming into his own as a hero on the world’s stage, just like Diana and Clark. A young man with the strategic mind of Batman, the physical training, the gadgets, resources, but without the blinding rage, pain, and cynicism. A superhero that looks at the world and wants to genuinely help people. Not out of a deep psychological need to harm those who harmed him, but because he was broken and then saved, and he can do that for other people. Being a good person is all the superpower you need. As a culture, I believe those are the heroes we need right now. And as for Dick Grayson, he’s a born showman, and I think it’s time for him to take the stage.

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shiftyskip · 6 years

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Darrell Cecil “Shifty” Powers

Because you all knew this was coming.

The Real Shifty Powers:

Darrell Cecil Powers was born on March 13, 1923 to Barnum and Audrey Powers. In many of the public records his name is listed as Cecil D. Powers, I am not sure why. He was born in Clinchco, Virginia and had two brothers. Barnum (Barney) was around to years older and James (Jimmy) was around 3 years younger.When Shifty was around 7 years old, his mother gave birth to his sister Gaynell. They later would have their youngest son Franklin (Frank or Frankie) in 1933.

Clinchco was a small coal mining “camp” (as Shifty called it) and the town owned a coal company. Barnum Sr. worked in the coal mines. This income left seven people eating on a dollar a day. Shifty got his nickname from his younger days. He used to play basketball and got his nickname from his swift movements.

Barnum Sr. was also good at shooting and taught Shifty everything he knew. As a child, Shifty would shine shoes to earn money for the shells. Shifty’s father took him hunting very often and during squirrel season (which last two weeks), they hunted every day. This gave Shifty an advantage over most Easy Company men. The skills he picked up improved his shooting and taught him how to be aware of his surroundings, which helps in combat. Shifty claims that during this time he learned to tell by the shake of a branch whether it was a bird or squirrel moving. Shifty’s skills reached the point where he could throw a coin into the air and shoot it before it reached the ground. He had started from a silver dollar and eventually worked his way down to a nickel. He was close but never could hit a dime, although he tried. He believed he wasn’t a good shot because he was told by a friendif he couldn’t shoot a dime, he wasn’t that great of a shot.

After he finished up high school. Shifty enrolled in a vocational school in Norfolk, Virginia. He took a machinist course along with Popeye Wynn. The boys became good friends and after finishing the course went to work at some shipyards in Portsmouth, VA, together. After learning their jobs would make them remain in the states throughout the entire war, the boys went to enlist.Both of them volunteered for the paratroopers. When they came back, the person in charge of the shipyard called up the registration office to remove them, but the damage was done.

There are two records for his military service. The first one is his registering for the draft. Shifty registered for the draft on June 30, 1942 in Norfolk Virginia, where he had been working in a ship yard after finishing high school. At the time he was 5 feet and 11 inches. He described himself as having a dark complex (I am hopefully assuming he meant he is tan), brown eyes, and black hair. He officially enlisted on August 14, 1942. These records state he was semi-skilled in machinery.

Shifty was soon one of the original Toccoa men, under the command of Sobel. Like most men in Easy, Shifty did not like Sobel. He believed that if Easy went to war with the man, they would all die because of his failure at tactics. But Shifty did admire Sobel in some ways. He said that if Sobel asked you to do anything, he’d do it as well. That was a factor of Sobel that Shifty always admired. Later in life, Shifty thought back on Sobel and Easy and realized that Sobel made Easy Company what it was. He turned them into an outstanding company.

Winters described Shifty as quiet and withdrawn, but said he loved a good laugh like everyone else. One such example Shifty remembered was when Private Gordon gave Tab his last cigarette but then charged him a dime for the match.

During training, Shifty became an expert rifleman. Because of his status as one, Sobel offered anyone who gained the official honor a three-day pass. Shifty and one other man, Buck Taylor, gained the honor. Popeye Wynn asked if Shifty was going home for those three days. Shifty told him he couldn’t afford it. Popeye told him he’d handle it, and he did. Popeye got a spare helmet, announced the situation, and tossed $5 into the hat. Everyone else pitched in a small amount and soon Shifty had more than enough to go home. Popeye asked how much he had and when he found out Shifty had more than enough, he asked for his “damn five dollars” back. Shifty gave it to him.

Back to Shifty’s shooting skills, he became highly respected for his skills. Bill Guarnere describes him fighting in Carentan in his book with Heffron, saying: “At some point, Shifty Powers picked off a couple of snipers. When there was a sniper, you sent Shifty in to take him out. Shifty was a damn good soldier in 3rd Platoon. He was from the mountains in Virginia, born and raided with a gun in his hand, not like us city slickers. He was like an Indian, lived off the ground, was very observant, was in tune to nature. He could pick out movement a mile away.” Heffron echoed Guarnere’s praise for Shifty, “A couple of German snipers were taken prisoners and killed. Shifty Powers took out a couple of them. He was the guy when you had snipers to take out.”

Shifty and Easy went overseas to Aldbourne to prepare for their final step in the war. Shifty described it as “a small village in a rural area”. He also comments that they were preparing to be invaded by the Germans, but all they had was gardening tools to fight with. He was extremely grateful that did not happen because the Germans would’ve wiped the village out. He assumes the people there felt safer with the American soldiers there, though that’s only his opinion.

Shifty jumped into Normandy with Easy. Shifty believed he was lucky to be jumping out of a plane and not storming the beaches. After the jump, he met up with Buck Taylor and Bill Kiehn. They were all lost, but figured they knew the general idea of where to go. So they started walking and eventually grouped with the 82nd. They stayed with the 82nd for most of the night.

When morning came, the boys discovered a glider with a jeep stuck in it. The boys wanted to ride the jeep to the beaches. They decided to try to cause a mini explosion to free the jeep. What they didn’t realize is that the jeep had been leaking out gasoline and when they lit the fuse to free it, everything blew up. Kiehn turned to Shifty and said: “Good thing Sobel didn’t see that.”

Speaking of the dreaded Sobel, Shifty met up with Sobel once after D-Day. Sobel was standing next to a river and Shifty shuffled down to him, saluted, and spoke with him for a bit. When Sobel asked how everything was going, Shifty told him that Popeye had a hand grenade popped on his ass. Sobel, harsh as ever, responded with “Serves him right.” Which as harsh as it is, Shifty understood that it wasn’t directed at Popeye personally, but rather a shame that someone had gotten hurt after being so well trained.

Not much is said about his time in Holland. He has one story he remembers about Holland. Easy was sent in to take a town full of Germans but they arrived late and couldn’t take the town before dark. They dug foxholes and stayed the night. In the morning, someone shouted about two German soldiers who had taken American prisoners and were walking down the road. Shifty spotted them and was planning on shooting them before realizing the town was full of Germans. If he fired on them, the Germans in the town would instantly kill the prisoners. He decided, after a lot of debate, to let them go. He recalled that moment often and trusted he did the right decision.

Even less is said about his time in Bastogne. Shifty didn’t like to talk about it much. In his own words, “Bastogne- I hate to talk about that place. It was a lot of fighting, just a lot of fighting.” That’s all Shifty would say about it. In Stephen Ambrose’s book (which is highly wrong on pretty much most of its info), describes a moment in which Shifty spotted a tree that was not there the day before, from over a mile away with no binoculars, in the middle of a forest. Lipton observed and noticed movement. It turned out to be a part of Germany anti-Aircraft and heavy artillery group. They sent heavy artillery into the German forces and forced them to desert.

After Bastogne, they arrived at Mourmelon. They received their back pay there but there was no place to spend it, so they spent most of it gambling.Shifty claims he wasn’t a great poker player but he did enjoy playing it. Shifty and his group would play poker, and were so focused that another soldier removed the powder from a grenade, put the cap back on, and loosened the pin. He then went to join the poker game, but fiddled with his grenade so it dropped off its pin and hit the floor. The soldier yelled. “Live grenade!” The boys ducked for cover, scattering cards and money, while the soldier ran off. Nobody dared to take the money though, it was just to annoy the poker players.

Shifty was there when Easy reached Hitler’s Eagle’s Nest. One of the things he remembers is that Hitler’s champagne was extremely good. He had fought everyday with Easy, he had been there for every loss, every gain, every movement, Shifty was with Easy. But he was never wounded in combat, no matter how close of a call he had, he was never injured. When the war was drawing to a close, Shifty’s and three others names were drawn out of a hat to be sent home early for a furlough.

On the way, a drunk driver crashed into their truck. Shifty was severely injured when he was sent flying out of the truck. He broke his pelvis and his wrist. He was given morphine at the sight of the wreck and sent to a field hospital. A nurse was taking off his clothes, Shifty was waking up. He had bloused his pants...with condoms (a typical thing within Easy), the nurse screamed and Shifty went back under.

Shifty’s loot was all taken from him at the hospital by the time he woke up. He felt sorry for himself until he looked over and spotted another soldier in a full body cast. That’s when he started to view himself as fortunate.

Shifty was sent to Reims, in France, to recover. According to Winters, Shifty was overseas for the next year in recovery. He was eventually sent home on a ship. He was discharged in a small camp in Virginia and returned home.

When he got home, Shifty had strange urges to eat dill pickles. He claimed he’d once driven 20 miles for some. He used to joke that he was pregnant for the year that his craving lasted.

Shfity went to work in a coal mine, picking slate. He worked there for a while until the company opened a machine shop. He worked there for a few years. He had married Dorothy Stamper and had two children, Margo and Wayne, before he moved to California. There he worked in a machine shop for several years before the company lost it’s government contract and was laid off. He returned to Virginia, where he returned to his job in their machine shop. He continued to work for them for more than 20 years. After he retired, he began working in the garden. But in his later years, Shifty’s health began to decline and his family believed he was depressed. They feared his time would soon be over.

Shifty had long been retired by the time Ambrose published his book.He ran into people he knew, even at simple places like Wal-mart, and they asked him why he hadn’t mentioned any of his experiences. He replied, “I never told anybody. Nobody knew anything about those years.” Not even is family knew about his memories of the war until the book came out.

It seems that suddenly, Shifty was being pulled out of his depressed state and came alive. He received mail and calls from all over the world. He began reconnecting with the men of Easy. He traveled everywhere he could, even going back to overseas to Germany. His family claims that Band of Brothers saved his life. Shifty lived to see his children grow up and get married and have children of their own. He even lived to see his great-grandchildren be born.

(photo credits belong to Marcus Brotherton, full credits to him but I just had to use this image because it’s the only photo of Shifty and Skip Muck- my two favorites.)

Shifty for the remainder of his life enjoyed taking things slow. He believed that he should earn everything he had and he would often enjoy the simple things like nature and his family.

In his later life, Shifty had developed lung cancer. He died in his home on June 17, 2009, after struggling to beat cancer. He was 86 at the time.

#profiles #Shifty Powers #real band of brothers #Real Life Band of Brothers

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lilyswritings · 6 years

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Waitress

author’s note: So yeah, I’m in love with Frank Castle and this has been in my drafts for ACTUAL years. I kinda don’t care if this doesn’t get much love, as this was the first ever reader-insert piece I ever wrote, and I still love it. (Note: though I wrote this literally years ago, I have edited it thoroughly, bc my writing was TERRIBLE. So, yeah...) Without further ado, please enjoy! (I know I did!)

summary: You’re a waitress at a small diner in Hell’s Kitchen - have been for a while now, as it is the only job you can seem to find. The same faces appear over and over, so when a new one catches your eye you take a particular interest in him and he in you - unbeknownst to you, a turn of events will solidify that interest entirely, changing your life forever.

word count: 2,438 (it’s a longer one!)

Frank Castle x Reader

“Y/N, honey, you have to actually go out there at some point.” Your co-worker Jen says, her lips curling into a sympathetic smile. You groan, rubbing at your eyes and slipping on your white apron. You had been stupid enough to stay up most of last night reading, which meant you barely slept two hours before you had to come for your shift at the diner.

"Yeah yeah.” You grumble, causing the blonde woman to chuckle and pass you your notepad and pen.

“Now go.” She orders, spinning you around by the arm and pushing you from the back, and you begrudgingly exit the small store room and enter the diner. It’s not very busy, the clock having barely reached 7 o’clock in the morning, but the booths are still taken by a few businessmen, and the counter stools are almost all filled by people itching to get their caffeine fix and be out of there in time to rush off somewhere else.

You sigh, grabbing the coffee pot, and do your usual rounds, refilling cups here and there, chatting to some of the regulars, but mostly milling behind the counter with your book, eyes darting from the page to the door to make sure you don’t ignore any customers.

Finally, the clock reaches 10 o’clock, signalling the three hour mark. Jen waves to you as she leaves to get some rest, since she always takes the late night shift. The frequent coffee breaks have helped you wake up, but you still have two neverending hours to go before you get off for your lunch break.

The diner is mostly empty, only two or three tables filling up, meaning you have some free time before one of them calls your name or asks for the bill. You set the coffee to brew, picking up the tattered novel and flipping back over to your page, getting lost in the words. You don’t even hear another customer come in, sit at the bar or cough to get your attention.

Finally, they clear their throat very loudly, causing you to jump slightly. You dart up, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, and hastily shove the book under the counter and turn to face him.

“What can I get for you?” You ask, taking in the man’s rugged features and shady black clothing - including a tugged down baseball cap, ‘hiding’ a nasty black eye.

“Just a coffee. Black. Please.” He says, his voice gruff, and you raise an eyebrow but nod, eyes falling from his face to the heavy black coat and the black shirt underneath.

“Sure thing.” You mutter, turning to the coffee machine and pouring a cup, setting it out in front of him.

You turn around just as he speaks again. “Sylvia Plath, huh?” Your eyes narrow as you spin around.

“Sorry?” You ask, startled, and he shrugs.

“You don’t seem like a ‘Bell Jar’ kinda girl, ‘s all.” You shrug in return, taken aback by the fact he is starting a conversation with you - albeit, an odd conversation, but anything to pass the time.

“It was a gift.” You say nonchalantly, turning to put the coffee pot back and lean on the counter to face him. “My sister thought it would be interesting because I moved to the city.”

He nods, a small smile tugging at his lips and you narrow your eyes. “C’mon, I don’t look that uneducated, do I?” You ask, and he shakes his head quickly.

“Nothin’ like that. Just- has your sister read it?” He asks, and you shake your head. “Right... Well, try not to relate too much to it.”

“Oh, so you’ve read it?” You ask, a tiny chuckle following your question, and he tilts his head.

“I don’t look that uneducated, do I?” He mimics your words from earlier and you laugh genuinely, leaning your elbows onto the cool surface of the counter.

“Guess not, ...” You trail off, raising a brow.

“Frank.” He fills in, then you watch his eyebrows tug together and his eyes dart down as he seems to question himself for telling you.

“I’m Y/N.” You say, and he nods slowly. “Nice to meet you, Frank. So,-” You gesture to his face. “What did you do, get mugged or-” Your question is cut off and when you glance towards the door, you notice a biker-looking man surveying the diner, and sigh. “I’ll be right back, Frank.”

You slip out from the counter, grabbing your notepad, and stand in front of the man. “You can seat yourself, sir.” You say, met with silence as his eyes barely glance over you. You turn around to check for an available booth, but when you turn to face him again something’s changed.

The world seems to slow to a stop as you take in the gun he holds in front of him, pointed directly at your forehead. “Everyone on their knees, now!” He shouts, and you realize that this is a robbery.

“I said NOW!” He says, aiming upwards and firing into the ceiling. You drop the notepad to the ground, eyes wide, and shakily start to lower yourself to your knees when he grabs your wrist. “Not you, darlin’.” The man says, and before you even get the chance to yank your arm away or scream, he spins you around and holds his forearm to your throat, his other hand pointing the gun at your head.

“Funny seeing you here, Punisher.” He spits the name out, and you look up to find Frank with a gun pointed at your assailant. Frank, who was talking to you about ‘The Bell Jar’ not five minutes ago. You gulp, your hands coming up to clutch at the arm across your windpipe.

You’ve heard about the Punisher - who hasn’t? The horrible killer that roams the streets, acting as he pleases and killing whomever he wants. Of course, you’ve always been less inclined to be scared of him - he only kills the criminals, the lowest of the lows, the sex traffickers and the murderers - but despite your lack of fear, he is now aiming a gun a few inches above you, and aiming at someone who could kill you at any second.

The Punisher shifts his pose slightly, eyes flicking down to you and then back up at the man. “This has nothing to do with these people. Let ‘em go.” He says, referring to the terrified customers still crouched on the floor. And you, of course.

The man chuckles, a low, raspy laugh, that you can feel reverberating in your back, and it makes you shudder. “What, so you can shoot me to pieces once I’m on my own? Not a chance.” He growls, in a distinctly Irish accent, you notice.

“Oh my god, I’m going to die” runs through your head, and you find yourself thinking about Jen and her kind, round face - probably at home, asleep, out of harm’s way. At least one good thing came of her leaving you on your own - it’ll probably be one less casualty.

Your mind is pulled back into reality as you feel yourself being dragged backwards, towards the storeroom, and you begin to struggle, your nails digging into his forearm. He winces, but shoves the steel end of the gun into your temple, and you loosen your grip.

He stops just short of the storeroom door, right behind the cash register, and releases his grip ever-so-slightly. “Get on with it.” He growls, and your eyes dart back over to Frank. His eyes meet yours and you swallow thickly, before your assailant shoves the gun into your temple again and tightens his grip on your windpipe. “I said, get on with it!”

You nod, reaching forwards to open the register, making eye contact with the Punisher again. You glance at the register, then back at him, before taking a deep breath. “I can’t- I can’t reach the last few keys.” You say, letting the wobble of fear show through your words, and the man growls in annoyance, before actually releasing your neck.

In a flash, you duck down, falling to the floor and shoving yourself under the counter. Your head smacks against the ledge as you go, but it’s the least of your worries as a gunshot rings out, deafeningly loud, and then another and another, and suddenly the robber drops down to the floor in front of you.

A startled scream escapes you at the vacant eyes staring at you, before you notice the blood beginning to pool under him- and touching the hem of your apron and the tips of your fingers as it stretches towards you. Frantically, you scramble out from under the counter, taking a deep breath as your back hits the glass display case.

Your eyes survey the diner and find it empty, save for the Punisher. “You alright, Ma’am?” Frank asks, eyes glancing over you, and you actually find a hysterical laugh bubbling over your lips.

“I guess so.” You manage, staring down at the blood creeping over the white and black tiles of the diner floor. “I think I’m gonna go home.” You say aloud, to no one in particular, before wiping the blood from your fingers onto your apron, tugging it off and leaving it on the counter in a heap.

Just as you begin to pass the body, a thought occurs to you, and you reach down to tug your book out from under the counter. “Hold on a minute-” Frank says, reaching out as you start to pass him, but when you actively shrink back from his touch he retreats his hand. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to just- This mighta been a gang thing. There might be more men outside.”

You start to nod, but find yourself stopping as the shock begins to wear off and a throbbing, white hot pain expands from the back of your skull. When you reach up to touch it, a wince escapes your lips, and your finger comes away red. “Huh.” You say, and make eye contact with Frank again.

“You should go to a hospital.” He says, and you sigh.

“And pay with what?” You say, and his brows furrow. “I’m a waitress at a diner, and I just bought a shithole of an apartment. I got maybe $12 in my bank account. If I’m lucky.”

Frank watches you for a moment, seemingly assessing you, before sighing. “I could fix that for you.” You raise an eyebrow, and he sighs and rubs his head with his hand, obviously unsure of himself. “Look, if I hadn’t been here he wouldn’t have had to grab you.” He explains, and you raise an eyebrow.

Taking in his all black outfit and the bruise peeking out from his shirt that you hadn’t noticed before, you can’t help but let the rational part of your brain tell you that it isn’t a good idea.

Unfortunately, by the time that thought solidifies, the windows of the diner shatter inwards as gunshot sprays towards you. Frank dives - dives - on top of you, sliding the both of you back behind the counter, releasing his grip as you scramble back from the dead body that sits a few feet away from you.

Blinking the white edging out of your vision, you register the concern on his face, and as another few rounds of bullets fly over your heads and embed themselves into the wall behind you, all the newspaper headlines warning you not to let this vigilante take you to his apartment fly out of your head.

“That, uh, actually seems like a good idea.” You mutter, eyes wide with fear as he pushes you towards the storeroom.

A string of colorful cursing makes you turn sharply, and when you find his eyes trained on the growing spot of red on the outside of your bicep, all you can do is mutter, “Oh.”

“Come on. I’ve got a- there’s a black van, just next to the dumpsters outside. Is there a back exit?” He asks, and though you’re still staring at your arm, you manage to nod dumbly.

“There’s a fire exit.” You shake yourself out of your stupor, shakily pushing yourself up into a crouch and pushing through the store room door, gesturing for Frank to follow.

Once inside, the two of you rush to the door and you pause, hand over the lever. “Once I push, the fire alarm’s gonna go off.” You state, and Frank raises his eyebrows.

“So push.”

You nod, shoving down the door handle and sprinting towards the only car - the black van - you can see, as Frank throws open the driver’s side door as you slide into the passenger’s seat.

He tears out of the alley behind the diner, and you cast one last sad glance at the shattered window panes before Frank turns the van sharply, onto another street.

“You alright?” He asks, genuinely, turning to glance at you, and you nod, pushing the strands of hair off your sweaty forehead. The thought only suddenly occurring to you, you roll the sleeve of your white shirt up, just over your shoulder, and stare at the wound.

“Huh.” You say, and Frank looks over at you, brow furrowed over his eyes.

“What? Shit, did the bullet go clean through?” He asks, and you wave him off, realizing he can’t see your side.

“Just grazed me,” You say, watching hesitantly as he slumps with relief beside you. “But I appreciate the concern, stranger.”

His eyebrows go up now, wrinkling the mottled purples and yellows that form the bruise above his brown eyes- “Wait, why am I noticing his eye color” - before he laughs, actually laughs.

“But you’re still in a van with me, heading to a strange man’s place.” Frank says in disbelief, and you shrug.

“What can I say, I think my decision making has been a bit skewed since I almost got shot in the temple, don’t you think?” Your words have an odd bite to them that you hadn’t intended, and when you slump in your seat, Frank’s hand touches your forearm very briefly, before he focuses on the road so hard he looks like he’s in pain.

“It’ll be okay.” Frank says - rather, he states - and though you have a hard time believing that, sitting in a vigilante’s car after a gang tried to kill you, you find yourself oddly comforted by his gruff affirmation.

“I guess we’ll find out.” You mutter, focusing on the brick buildings around you.

#frank castle #frank castle imagine #frank castle x reader #frankos #frank castle oneshot #the punisher imagine #punisher imagine #punisher oneshot #daredevil #daredevil imagine #dd

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lady-o-ren · 6 years

Text

Outlander: Getting to Know You

I was tagged by @phoenixflames12

1. How long have you been a fan of Outlander?

Since it aired. I was on ign and saw an article that said, Ron Moore, time travel, WWII, and I was sold. Watched the first episode they released online and fell in love.

2. Have you read the books? If so, which ones? I didn't plan on reading them but there's so such a gap between seasons. So I started reading the book after the corresponding season aired but couldn't wait on Voyager and I am now sitting at Drums.

3. Which is your favourite secondary character? Jenny Fraser Murray

4. What is your least favourite storyline? All the rape. From season two on it's completely unnecessary and something the show writers could have avoided if they bothered to try. Geneva. Urghhh

5. Favourite episode(s)?

Sassenach The Wedding Dragonfly in Amber A. Malcolm

6. The episode(s) you skip?

To Ransom a Mans Soul. I only watched the Claire parts when it aired and didn't watch in it's entirety until after I watched Dragonfly in Amber.

Of Lost Things.

7. Be honest, how many times have you watched “The Wedding?”

.....

8. Finish the sentence: Frank Randall is _________.

Someone I liked, then felt conflicted by and now I just want to stomp on his balls. In other words I have mixed emotions on him.

9. What’s your Outlander watching ritual?

It's midnight. My phones open to my movie/tv app waiting for someone to upload the new episode no matter how long it takes because I'm impatient and poor.

10. Are you into shipping?

I ship Jamie and Claire hard. to. the. core. Otp to end all otps for me.

11. Do you read Outlander fanfiction? If so, what’s your favourite?

Yes! I have a lot of favs so I'll single out my first love. Any and all things by bonnie-wee-swordsman is perfection. She captures canon Jamie and Claire and expands on them like no other writer. I consider every one of her fics canon. Don't care if they conflict with eachother. It all happened.

12. What Outlander merchandise do you own?

Just the books. If I wasn't worried about being teased I'd own Claire's wedding ring.

13. Which was your favourite: Rupert or Angus?

Rupert! I wish he would have lived and been sent to live in the colonies.

14. True or False: Lt. Jeremy Foster is a delicious cinnamon bun.

True! One of the few actual english gentlemen. Hated that he died.

15. If you were to attend a “fucking bar-b-que” with Geillis Duncan what would you order?

My ass is running out the back door, hotdog in hand.

16. What areas of interest has Outlander sparked for you?

I have a real appreciation for the scottish gaelic in the show. It's a beautiful language.

17. Biggest plot hole in the show?

All that is Geneva. Jamie could have figured a way out and if not, Pull The F*ck out dude! She's from the 18th century. She doesn't know how sex is properly done. One, Two, pull out and get out of there!

And marrying Laoghaire. Doesn't make sense in book or show to me.

18. Bree and Roger: Yay or Nay?

Yay

19. Which JAMMF habit do you find endearing?

Him just being a good husband (when he's not being a little shit who tans his wife and marrying woman who tried to kill his wife)

20. Finish the sentence: Claire Fraser is _______________.

The love of my life and I would die for her!

21. Marry/Fuck/Kill: Dougal, Black Jack, Geneva.

Marry Dougal (and get divorced) Fuck Geneva Kill Black Jack (and throw holy water on his ashes)

22. If you could change one thing about the show version of Outlander, what would it be?

An increase in episode count to tell a better story like in season one.

23. Using one word for each, describe Season 1, Season 2 and Season 3: Love. Really?!? Together.

24. What are some of your other favourite shows/movies?

Tv- The Americans. The X-Files. Battlestar Galactica. Stranger Things. Absolutely Fabulous. Bob's Burgers. Veep. The Office. Vicar of Dibley. Ashes to Ashes...More but I can't remember...

Movies- Silence of the Lambs. Fargo. The Emperor and the Assassain. Princess Mononke. Akira. The Royal Tennenbaums. The Breakfast Club. Notorious (fav Hitchcock Movie). The Apartment. Drive. Jane Eyre (2011). Kill Bill. Inglourious Basterds.....I have a lot...

25. Where are you from?

Where the stars at night or big and bright (insert the clapping x)

#Getting to know me and that I have an interest in dark depressing things

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midcing · 6 years

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okay so i have some New Kids.... they are all trash but some of them are trying their best which should honestly count for something imho... i’ll probably bring some more muses in at some point during this week bc i legit have 25 apps in my drafts right now and i just didn’t apply for all at once bc didn’t want to overwhelm myself... honestly tho? i want all the plots.... so like... pls like this and i’ll im you or come to me throwing ideas at my face so we plot and have some connections and threads ?? love my new trash sons pls ?? thanks !

JAMES WEST looks an awful lot like CHARLIE WEBER. HE is THIRTY NINE and while they’re LOGICAL, they have a tendency to get pretty CONTRARY. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to POLARIZE by TWENTYONEPILOTS.

inspired by ;; frank delfino from htgawm, walter white from breaking bad and jaime lannister from game of thrones.

a lawyer

has 2 daughters.

would probably start a war for both of them if they asked him to.

thinks his daughters are angels who can do no wrong. if he saw them murdering someone in front of him, he would probably come up with a reason why they were doing it and defend them which isn’t great bc they are both like wild kids who are not actual angels ( wc ?? anyone ?? i’m trash for families ngl )

sketchy morals at best? ? doesn’t think of himself as someone who would do anything wrong but if something wrong is being done for his benefit he is sure as hell not gonna stop it

got into an ivy league school because his father - criminal known for money laundering, corruption, and fraud - donated a huge sum of money to the college. will die pretending he got in on his own merit

the older brother of my character mark west bc i love families sue me

would probably google ‘how to know if i am a dilf’

says thing like ‘lit’ and ‘on fleek’ to relate to the youth

pretends everything is fine until it blows up in his face

wants to much ! a perfect life, a perfect house, a perfect family, a perfect wife, a perfect job ! pretty good ? nah. not good enough for james west. scratch that and start again. everything must be 10/10

wants to be everybody’s dad even tho he isn’t a great dad to his two kids

will make your life choices for you if you let him

will bail you out of jail but only if he is allowed to give you a 3 hour lecture on Responsibility

will logic his way out of moral conundrums

the kind of person that turns a blind eye to corruption if it benefits him in some way

tries his best, which really honestly can only be said about 5% of my characters, so i would give him some credit

if you ask him a question he doesn’t want to answer he will just straight up ignore the question and change the subject

feels guilty about the way his helps criminals and does wrong stuff for his benefit and the benefit of the people he loves but also doesn’t try to change

aesthetics — watching the sunset through the office window, loud alarms playing an hour later than it should, unrecognizable reflection in the mirror, child laughter and the heavy feeling of stress in your chest, hushed whispers of assertions amidst a crowd, old wedding rings saved away after the divorce, big houses and empty space, thousand dollar watches, the smell of jail permanently stuck to a three piece suit, painfully happy memories, ignoring the way guilt makes it hard to breath, arguing in a favor of a guilty party.

FRANK HAMILTON looks an awful lot like DAVID HARBOUR. HE is FORTY ONE and while they’re DEVOTED, they have a tendency to get pretty UNPRINCIPLED. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to SEDATED by HOZIER.

inspired by ;; hank from detroit become human and chief hopper from stranger things

tw: gambbling, alcoholism

a mess trying to pass for a functioning human being

he is a dirty cop that accepts bribes to let people off the hook and gets money from gangs to look the other way when he knows they will be doing something wrong somewhere bc he truly cannot bring himself to care

honestly i have no excuses for his behavior

has a huge problem with gambling.

born in kola. lived in kola for almost 30 years. moved out after his marriage fell apart, but has recently moved back

the kind of human being who thinks blood and gasoline are sexy

the kind of person that goes All Fucking Out for things and then when things don’t turn out exactly how he expected them to he makes a fuss about it and goes like “why did i even bother?”

will call you out on your bullshit and then act like people just throw shit at other’s face like that. stare you in the eye after exposing you and ask ‘what?’

says stuff like ‘i might be a shitty person but at least i’m upfront about it’ and ‘i prefer not to get involved in people’s lives.’

there is no such thing as a acquaintances. frank either loves you with all his heart and would kill a man for you OR he hates you and the fact that you are able to talk annoys him

you’ve heard of overachivers ?? well frank is here to present you A True Underachiever. he tries to do the bare minimum amount of work possible

the personification of /r/notmyjob

would probably go to an underground fighting ring for fun

channels his unhappiness into unhealthy habits. drinks too much, smokes too much. doesn’t do anything to change the fact that he is unhappy

gambled his marriage away by which i mean he gambled everything owned away and kept trying to find excuses for it until she was done and left . he still loves her but he feels like shit and he doesn’t wanna drag her back into his shitty life ( wc ? pls ? )

moved away from kola when his marriage ended and went to las vegas. lived there until he got in dept there too and he couldn’t find anywhere else to play then came back to kola

at some point was wide-eyed and hopeful and interested in helping people but slowly became unhappy with how he didn’t go anywhere, didn’t become better, greater, didn’t do more and then slowly things just went to shit

aesthetics — casual cruelty in the name of honesty, cigarette buds collecting on an old ashtray, crumbled dollar bills found between couch cushions, falling asleep at three o’clock and waking up the next day, bloody knuckles, handcuffs and police siren, the smell of alcohol in your breath at ten in the morning, unironed shirts and old cologne, knowing something is wrong but doing it anyway, ignored calls from concerned family members, remembering you have to do something just as it is too late to do it, the thrill in heartbeat when you land a punch in someone’s face, drunk steps stumbling out of the bar, begging people for one more chance.

SEBASTIAN “BASH” VANCOOP looks an awful lot like LIAM PAYNE. HE is TWENTY TWO and while they’re CHARMING, they have a tendency to get pretty SELFISH. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to PLAY ME LIKE A VIOLIN by JEREMY.

inspired by ;; hakeem lyon from empire and aaron burr from hamilton

that one sort of famous person that is always shirtless in other famous’ people instagram stories

treats people like things he can use and drop when he gets tired of

fake af. will say he likes you and then shit talk about you behind your back

that one person that goes ‘ooooooooooh you are gonna let them talk like that about you ?? ’ when other people are fighting

only wears prada chanel and gucci

can actually be really nice if you get to know him but how ? when there are three hundred walls up ??

thinks people are gonna take advantage of him or make fun of him so he just doesn’t trust anyone. can’t get betrayed if you never let anyone in right ??

doesn’t understand internet culture

was born in an insanely rich family. his father was a famous movie producer and his mother was a famous movie star. picture like spielberg as his dad and kate winslet as his mom

hates when people say like ‘Oh So You Are [ ]’s son?’

the first movie he was ever in was when he was about 5

he was in a bunch of movies from ages 5 to 12 but it was never really anything big. he was just the main character’s kid or that one kid that doesn’t get much screen time in movies like goonies

he never really liked acting but what else woUld he do ?? look at his family !! look at his legacy !! [ cue ‘wait for it’ from the hamilton soundtrack playing in the background ]

when he was 20 his father produced and directed a movie in which he stared. it was like his first Real role in hollywood action blockbuster. before the movie was out there was this whole hype about him and his dad working together and wow it’ll be awesome but it pretty much bombed. picture like After Earth bomb. everyone shit talking about him and the movie and how dumb it is on youtube bomb. the movie doesn’t get money to pay for itself bomb.

despite the fact that his parents said it didn’t matter. it was just a bad movie. everyone making fun of him and people shit talking about how he didn’t have his parents’ talent got to him real bad. he stopped acting all together.

his parents keep telling him to Do Something but he just doesn’t

is living in kola bc LA is a dumb of reminder of everything he thinks he did wrong

aesthetics — the blinding lights of camera flashes, the light feeling of being drunk, loud songs blaring through club speakers, interviews stopped halfway through, rude comments and anger, crowded parties in expensive summer homes, the overwhelming feeling in your chest when someone gets too close to fast, feigned charm and stranger’s company, running out of things to say after you have known someone for a while, wasted champagne dripping off a tilted bottle and loud laughter coming from the other room, the slow but continues pain in your heart that reminds you you are disappointment.

MATTHEW “MATTEO” DECKER looks an awful lot like JON BERNTHAL. HE is FORTY TWO and while they’re WILLFUL, they have a tendency to get pretty BLUNT. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to SEVEN NATION ARMY by THE WHITE STRIPES.

inspired by ;; frank castle from daredevil, frank castle from the punshiner, frank castle from the born comics series. ( they are three different people, fight me ) seeley booth from bones in season five

tw: alcoholism, ptsd, mention of army, and war

former us marine

mostly goes by decker. his family used to calls him matteo but when other people do it it’s like .. “no”

you have been heard of resting bitch face ? matteo is here to show you the resting i fucking hate you face

swears too much like Wayy too much

he can be honestly really fucking soft i’m ngl but then you gotta be that one person that breaks down walls and again ? who has the time for that ? in the twenty first century?

wants to take care of everyone but pretends he is not interested in people bc he “Knows” everyone is gonna die or leave so there is no fucking point

actually just pretends he isn’t The Absolute Softest for everyone and tries to keep them all at arm's length but then people say ‘hi’ and are nice to him and he is like ‘Fuck me now i like them’

can actually laugh and make jokes which is Impressive imo

but then goes back to being bitter and angry at life

too straight up about things : could heavenly benefit from learning how to read social cues

you have to Tell him things if you want him to understand it. you can’t go around dropping hints. he won’t get it.

drinks his coffee black and without sugar

enlisted when he was eighteen bc patriotism and american dream and red white and blue stars but then that slowly stopped being the point. then he was just doing it bc He had been doing that for years what else would he do ? and then at some point he just saw too much … and then when he was discharged he just Never came back

after he came back he couldn’t find a job and he didn’t know what else to do and he slowly started getting involved with shady stuff and now he sells drugs to pay the bills

disappointed in who he is right now.

he is honestly Trying his very best.

aesthetics — punching a wall until your hands stings and your chest doesn’t anymore, the pleasant light feeling of holding back laughter, completed tasks and unachievable peace of mind, low chatter in dive bars in dark parts of town, questioning your belief system, roadside motels and failing neon lights, moonlight coming through the bedroom window, leaving the morning after, combat boots, loud honking cars and shaky hands, fighting the urge to shove someone away when you feel their touch against your skin, quiet places and pleasant loneliness, old dusty books and rock music, waking up multiple times in the middle of the night, whiskey mixed with coffee

OCTAVIANUS BRUNO GENTILLE looks an awful lot like FRANCOIS ARNAUD. HE is THIRTY SIX and while they’re ROMANTIC, they have a tendency to get pretty UNREALISTIC. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to SOMEONE NEW by HOZIER.

inspired by ;; jay gatsby from the great gatsby, romeo from romeo and juliet, tom hansen from (500) days of summer, a slam poem i saw on youtube once

tw: bullying, mention of learning disabilities and stutter

romanticized every bad thing that happened in his life.

will romanticize every bad thing that ever happened in your life.

the kind of person that says “things happen for a reason…”

goes by his middle name. honestly thinks his first name is the Most Stupid Thing In The World if you call him octavianus he’ll be legit annoyed. kids used to make fun of him at school all that jazz. just call bruno

he is legit in love with italian culture and history. his father was italian and he just highkey Cannot Shut Up About It

art history professor in kola’s college

the kind of professor that just loves what he is doing… you know when the professor like kinda looks excited that he is talking or sharing knowledge or just talking about shit they truly like ? that is bruno

a nerd but pretends he isn’t

could not do a one night stand without catching feelings if his life depended on it

loves people too much too fast with all his heart

there is an argument to be made for him not actually falling in love with people and just with the idea of love that he made up in his mind but let’s get to that when we get to that

will spend the entire lesson arguing with one student about how inaction in our current political climate is just as harmful as supporting people who are doing harm when he was supposed to be talking about impressionism or something like that

thinks people have a soulmate and he is just trying to find his

100% not only Shows up to slam poetry sessions but Helps organize them

real political. the type of person that rallies when things are wrong and gets others to do it

has too many exes

posts pictures with his current girl/boyfriends on instagram and then doesn’t delete them when they break up bc ‘that’s who i was at that moment’

can recite poetry for you in italian but do not let him trick you. he’ll only be around for the honeymoon phase of the relationship then he’ll be like wow this isn’t perfect. time to end it

loves art !! all type of art !! is terrible at all of it : writing, panting, photography. but he loves it and he does it despite being bad and he tells people to do what they love !! and follow their dreams !!

his parents got a divorce when he was 7 and it was pretty bad. his dad was italian and moved back to italy shortly after. his mother was from kola and he stayed with her.

it was as if his world had fallen apart at that. bruno had never even seen his parents fight and then one day his father just moves out to Another Country he was pretty lost and confused

bruno moved back and forth between italy and the u.s. throughout most of his childhood and adolescence. never spending a lot of time in one place.

though his parents tried to remain friends after the divorce for his sake it never really worked out. his father wanted his mom back while his mother moved on and got married again.

growing up, he had a lot of trouble with accents and language. his father used to speak only italian at home. and his mother used to speak only english.

he developed a learning disability and a stutter after his parents got divorced

kids in school used to make fun of him. the way he talked and his name specially.

doesn’t stutter anymore but when he is talking about something that is hard to talk about, he talks really slowly to make sure the words come out properly

aesthetics — ukulele songs playing softly in a room with echo, piano recitals with ten people in the audience, walking around aimlessly, kissing greek statues, being happy that you are sad because it means that you are alive, cheering on others success, lacking ambition and living the present, old songs hummed in the shower, waking up early and staying in bed until 10am, cuddling under warm blankets, failing in love with a stranger, laughing loudly with new friends, white wine, beautiful paintings in an empty museum, admiring something for way too long,

ANTHONY MILLER looks an awful lot like JOSH DALLAS. HE is THIRTY NINE and while they’re PATIENT, they have a tendency to get pretty SELF-RIGHTEOUS. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to JACKIE AND WILSON by HOZIER.

inspired by ;; prince charming from once upon a time, ned stark from game of thrones, bob belcher from bob’s burgers

tw: cancer

cannot talk about his feelings . cannot accept his own mistakes . cannot show weakness . at any point. no matter the subject . cannot let anyone take care of him.

Must be the best at all times for everyone and take care of everyone

self-care is a myth anthony does not believe in

works too much

he needs glasses to read stuff but he pretends he doesn’t so he does that squinting and pulling things close to his face thing. at which point you would probably ask ‘anthony if you don’t want to wear glasses wouldn’t it be easier ? to just ? wear contact lenses ?’ and yes it would it definitely would but anthony likes to make things harder for himself

slow to anger but he has that temper that you literally cannot see coming. he looks serious and stoic and then wow thunderfucking storms breaking chairs and stuff

loves beers and american football

the type of person that says this generation is lost

might smoke too much but he doesn’t talk about that

he doesn’t talk about anything actually

although i love him with all my heart. i would not rec

there is a right way to do stuff and anthony as the holder of all the knowledge and morality Must tell you about it

rarely ever smiles bUT when he does ? smiles like a prince. if we had a royal verse he’d be the king of the entire universe honestly.

he was a oldest child in a family of 7. his parents were super wealthy and he was the One favorite child who both parents used to love and cherish and cheer on.

he got his high school sweetheart pregnant. his parents didn’t want him to marry her bc she was Poor and Not up to standards but he chose love over his family and got disowned for that. hasn’t talked to his family since

his dream life was always to have the perfect picket fence house and american dream type of family. it was supposed to be him, his wife, his son and maybe some day he would have a daughter and it would Be great

he and his wife had a son and they named him hendrix bc she loved rock and jimi hendrix and he loved the name even tho he never liked rock. but honestly ? he was so weak for her he would have loved the name lkgjdflajf if she suggested it

a few months after their first son was born tho she was diagnosed with cancer and a few months later she passed away

after that he raised his son by himself. he really threw himself into it. spent most of his life focused on it and work and now his son is going to college and he doesn’t know what to do with himself

the only person he ever Truly dated was his wife and then he just focused on his son and raising him so he never really allowed himself to date bc then he would have to introduce someone else to his son’s life and all that … sO anthony is usually all cool and fine and then you show romantic interest in him and there is like a visible shift ya know? like he goes from anthony to a truly profoundly awkward person trying to pretend it’s cool

aesthetics — organized work tables, color coded to-do lists, trying your very best at all times, mental exhaustion showing through physical symptoms, dad jokes and laughing by yourself, the smell of new books, comfort found in old libraries, forgetting your reading glasses at home, losing your temper and breaking something, old family photos lost somewhere in the attic, pushing someone else on a swing, sundays afternoons lost at the park, working extra hours instead of going home, cold breeze and hugging yourself to your jacket, trying to explain to someone why they are wrong when they don’t want to listen

#fckit:intro #okay i know some of those got really big but i have already played all of them somewhere else at some point so like #i had already developed them a bit

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