#brain said i am shifting into far cry mode

[chazz-anova]

brrr i'm gonna remake the moodboard with all the chapters of ahfwh

#brain said i am shifting into far cry mode #mist appears

[ijuststareatstuffhereok89]

Chapter 11: The Viper Retreats

Wracked with guilt, Loki disappears, leaving you alone and confused in his furious wake. Only a visitor from home can rekindle the courage you need to seek out answers.

Pairing: Prince Loki x Concubine!Reader Rating: 18+ ONLY (Minors DNI) MASTERLIST HERE **Please reblog if you like it!**

Content Warning: Threat and mentions of assault, eventual smut, indentured servitude and sex slavery, mean people being mean, violence, executions, more warnings likely to come

Loki’s chosen colors were green and gold, but he was only seeing red when he dashed to the dungeons with the signed death warrant for one of his own concubines, handing the scroll off to the warden, who read it quickly before giving a confused face to the Prince. 

“Your Highness? Are you certain? She’s been crying relentlessly for the past four hours--”

“--I HAVE GIVEN YOU THE COMMAND AND YOU WILL FIND THE HEADSMAN AND SEE TO IT IMMEDIATELY!” Loki demanded, the pure rage consuming his every wit. 

The doubtful warden quickly bowed and scampered off.

Loki had seen you go under the healer’s knife for the last time without doing anything about. Keeping vigil on and off, particularly when he wa certain no one would care to notice, he wanted nothing more than to sit where his faithful sentry sat: at your bedside, holding your hand and promising you that all of the demons were gone, and that you were safe as long as you were under his watch. 

It was when you turned your head, moaning in pain as your brain was trying to escape the anesthetic’s spell. You were easily drugged back into peaceful sleep, but that one moment of struggle and discomfort was enough to trigger a defensive mode in Loki that he’d never felt before. 

For the first time in his life, the Snake wanted blood for blood’s sake. 

Hilda and her three friends had gone into hiding elsewhere in the palace, with every intention of re-emerging after a week or so, but no one could escape a wrathful Prince’s order, and all it took was half an hour of searching before their sanctuary was discovered, and all four were arrested and dragged off. 

The warden returned unexpectedly quickly. “The Headsman is already here, serving as a substitute sentry this evening. He can do it any time before his shift ends at dawn.”

“Then do it now,” Loki said. “I have other business to see to.”

“Now?” asked the warden. “Then all four will be private executions?” 

“Yes. Not on the green. Do it here, before me. Now. Before they have time to beg like dogs.”

“Your Highness is merciful,” recited the warden. “I will see to it immediately.” 

The warden was true to his word, and all three of the hulking male concubines were quickly dispatched of, one by one, at Loki’s feet there in the dungeons. To his surprise, the Prince found himself drinking in a feeling of power and satisfaction as each head fell to the floor. 

Hilda was dragged out onto her knees, pleading and weeping for her life. “My Prince! My Prince! I am contrite! Plea--”

“Disgusting little sow,” he murmured, waving his hand, taking the sound away from Hilda’s mouth. “If only you’d thought of this consequence before attacking my belov--my mistress. You are a disgrace and a danger to my harem.”

He looked down at his boots, already stained with the blood of Hilda’s predecessors on the block, and began to feel nauseated. He quickly nodded to the Headsman and spun on his heels, walking away just in time to hear the sound of another head hitting the floor. 

No one in the palace dared to question a Prince as he walked by, even now when the lower half of him was spotted in blood. Yet even so, the Prince could not ignore the questioning faces of some of the maids and nobles as he brushed past them and made for the sanctuary of his chambers, where he ran to his full-body mirror to look at himself. 

Moments felt like minutes as he absorbed the sight of himself covered in the blood of others. Of course, this was far from the first time he was arrayed in such red, but what was curious this time was how heavy his heart suddenly became as the image of you appeared over his shoulder. He turned around quickly, only to find that no one was behind him, and the vision of you behind him was only a specter of guilt in the mirror looking back at him. 

You were weeping and shaking your head in shame. 

Loki’s lower lip trembled, realizing how he had behaved like the viper everyone expected him to be. “No….Y/N, my sparrow…what have I done?”

In his flood of emotion, Loki growled and threw a heavy fist through the mirror, sending shatters and shards falling at his feet, mixing the blood from his hands with the blood on his clothes. 

What have I done? Oh, sparrow, what have I done? 

“Your Highness, I’m afraid they are true, the rumors.”

Stieg stood at full attention as Thor paced his parlor, knocking carelessly into tables as he tried to wrap his head around the situation. “No, not my little brother. He would never sign a death order.”

“I’m sorry, Your Highness. He wasted little time, actually.”

“And you witnessed this?” asked Thor, his voice loud and booming. “The order as well as the…event?”

Stieg shook his head. “He had me stay with Y/N. He doesn’t want the King to know about her.” 

Thor shook his head. “Impossible. Every execution order must go through our father. He certainly knows.”

Stieg shrugged. “Perhaps he lied about why, Highness.”

Grunting, Thor turned away from his spy, looking at the wall with anger. “My poor brother. He’s becoming more lost with time under our father’s oppressive hand. I fear it is not Y/N’s fault. She was only the key to unlocking the building pressure under his skin.” 

“Excuse me, Highness?” asked Stieg. 

Thor turned around and spoke up. “Loki is in love.” 

Bowing his head, Stieg silently confirmed his suspicion. “The condemned found her journals and grew hot with jealousy. The feeling of love between them is mutual, Highness.”

“Then they are both in danger. And the journal?”

“Burned, as you requested.”

“Good. My brother may see intelligence inside her, but anyone foolish enough to keep a log of their life in the harem here cannot be entirely of their wits. If my Father had seen her writings, she’d be the one headless,” scowled the Thunder Prince, his brotherly concern mixed with anger. 

“May I inquire, Highness, as to why you wish to involve yourself in this matter?” asked Stieg. “If it isn’t too bold? I merely mean to say…he is your baby brother, yet he is also a man in his own right.”

“Odin grows madder by the day in his advancing age,” explained Thor. “He only allows this to add to the paranoia that motivates his judgments. Loki has always feared the day that Odin’s full madness boils over.” 

“Prince Loki is missing,” Stieg added. “As of last evening, Sire. He witnessed the executions and then seemingly fled.” 

Thor bit his lip, holding back an angry rage. “And you didn’t think to start this conversation with that little fact, did you?”

Stieg fell to one knee in contrition. “No, Your Highness! I am most humbly sorry.”

“Be that as it may,” Thor went on, “I don’t think he went far. I would stake my entire vault on him having retreated to the privacy of our old playgarden.” 

“Shall we investigate, Sire?”

“No,” he decided. “This will not bode well when the girl finds out. When will she be released from the hospital wing?”

“Tomorrow. She is healing quickly,” Stieg replied. 

“I expect she will demand to see him, and no one will have answers for her,” thought Thor. “Perhaps I can make good on my word to her, and do it on my brother’s behalf.”

“Sire?”

Thor paused a moment, thinking things through. “Stieg, have a missive sent immediately to Borgund, Vanaheim, and tell them that the Priestess of Freyja who resides there is being summoned to Asgard on orders of The Crown Prince Thor.”

You were entirely alone as the following days turned into a week, and then another week. 

None of the other concubines would speak to you. None of the servants would say more than they had to when delivering your meals, or bringing your medicine each evening. Stieg was the only one who would speak to you at length, and even then, he only visited once in the morning, to ask if you had any need of an escort that day. Even these interactions were all the same. 

“Will you be going for a stroll today, Miss?”

“No, Stieg.”

“Then you have no need for an escort at all, today?”

“Have you heard from him?”

“No, Miss.”

“Then no, I don’t have need of an escort. WIll you stay for tea?”

Most days, Stieg would stay and share your breakfast. On the days he would be required elsewhere, you would sequester yourself in your room early, usually only sneaking out for some exercise after most of the others would have been in bed. While there was technically a curfew for anyone serving the Royal Family, you never left the harem wing anyway. 

One morning, long after Stieg had come and gone, a different sentry came for you. “I am to bring you to His Highness Prince Thor immediately.”

The walk felt like months as you were led through the now-familiar hallways, hoping that Thor was summoning you to bring you word of Loki’s whereabouts, and whether or not he was willing to see you and hear your sorrows and protestations over his rash judgment. 

Instead, all of your anxieties popped out of existence as soon as the sentry opened Thor’s chamber door to you, and you saw Aunt Ing standing by one of the buffet tables, already helping herself to a plate piled impossibly high with fruits. She barely had time to put the plate down before you fell into her arms, letting yourself sob. 

“Aunt Ing!” you cried. “You’re here! You’re here!” 

“Oh, Y/N! How I’ve missed you so!” Ing said, pressing your forehead to hers in a standard Vanir greeting of love. 

“I have had such sadness and yet such happiness,” you moaned. “You need to know everything!”

“Shh!” Ing said quickly. “It was Prince Thor who summoned me, not--”

“--I know all,” said Thor, and you turned in the direction of his voice, not realizing he was watching you from the corner. “Please speak your mind here. You are in no danger. In fact, I will leave you here in privacy, but should you require anything, a guard will be stationed right outside the door.” 

“Thank you, Your Highness,” you said quietly. Thor gave you a curt nod before leaving you be. 

The moment you were certain you were alone, you nearly fell into Ing’s arms, knocking her almost off balance and nearly causing her to drop her platter of food. 

“Child, they came to the temple and told me Prince Thor was calling for me! I thought you were in trouble!” your Aunt said, putting the plate aside in order to finally receive your embrace. 

“I am, Aunt! I am,” you sighed, finally letting go in order to rub your wet eyes on the sleeve of your dress. 

“How so? Is the Prince angered with you?” asked Ing, picking up the large plate and adding to it. 

“The contrary,” you informed her. “He has…done something terrible. Awful. Loathsome. And he did it on my behalf..”

You sat with Ing and regaled the story of how you’d successfully caught the interest of the Prince, how he’d exposed his soul to you, and how you were just now beginning to plant the seeds of change for your homeland in his mind. As you came to the part about his transgression, of how he’d taken the lives of your bitter roommate as well as her friends, Ing seemed to forget the twelve pounds of food on her platter. 

“All she did was beat me. I had worse wounds falling down the hills in Borgund, Aunt,” you whispered. “I certainly wouldn’t have objected to retribution, but I would’ve never asked for him to kill for my honor, not for anything!” 

“But my girl, don’t you see?” she said with awe, a gentle smile on her face as she took your hands in hers. “No woman in Asgard save for the Queen has the power that you now have.” 

“No!” you denied, pulling back. “I can’t do this anymore. I’m driving him towards this instability, this passion. It isn’t fair and it isn’t right!” 

“Is it right that the Allfather steals young girls from their families to bring to his bed?” asked Ing, causing you to bite your lip, ashamed. 

“He says he loves me,” you sighed. “I love him too. And our love has already killed someone!”

“Please, my niece, it isn’t your doing at all,” Aunt Ing insisted. “You cannot blame yourself for his choices.”

“If I’d never set out to enchant him--”

“--let me tell you the final secret to romance,” said Ing, leaning forward as if about to share an exquisite piece of sacred wisdom. “A true connection is never one-sided, and Freyja’s ways are always hers, not ours. If you were never meant to bond with the Prince, it would have never occurred to either of you.” 

“But--”

“--let me ask you this, then,” Ing interrupted, reaching for her goblet of mead. “What exactly happened when you met?” 

You bit your lip and recalled how he’d protected you from the drunk revelers, and nearly executed one of them, only thinking twice at your insistence. 

“Why do you think he took such concern for you so quickly, if you were just the latest in a long line of bed warmers?” she asked. 

You realized that you had no answer. Hilda had said that it wasn’t unheard of for Loki to endorse such behavior. Why did he choose you to be the time he put his foot down? Or why was he convinced by you to commute the sentence of your attacker so easily? 

“Are you saying we are blessed by Freyja?” you asked, shaking your head in disbelief. “But the Higher Gods do not grant such boons to lowly Vanir.” 

Ing laughed. “Do you forget that I am her priestess? That I have taken vows to her service? Do you think Freyja does not hear my prayers, child?” 

“You haven’t--?”

Ing smiled. “Oh, don’t you worry. I only asked for protection for you. Y/N, I am afraid you and the Prince did the rest entirely on your own.” 

A tear ran down your cheek as the idea sank in, sending warmth through your body: You were in your destined place when you were in Loki’s arms. Every kiss was foretold, every flutter of your heart was written. Your souls were a match that echoed through every timeline; your love was an undeniable fact of nature as omnipresent as gravity.

“How can I forgive him for what he’s done?”

“Because you love him, and you’ve already done so,” answered your Aunt. 

She was right, and you suddenly realized it. For in spite of the atrocity that was sitting between you, you were already hoping to seek him out not to reprimand him, but to comfort him and to tell him that you intended to remain on his side. 

“He surely gave the command out of fearsome love for you,” said Ing. “I imagine he is only waiting for you to assure him that he is still in your heart.”

“He is missing,” you replied. “He doesn’t wish to see me.”

“I think,” suggested Ing, “I think you know exactly where he is. You simply are too afraid to barge in on him without a summons.” Again, she was correct. Your first thought after Stieg’s admission was that Loki had retreated to his beloved Garden of Forking Paths, and that he was somewhere deep in the brush, looking for the right turn, perhaps waiting to come across you, deep in search of him. 

“If he is already so volatile, breaking protocol may not be the wisest idea,” you informed her. “He must send for me.”

Ing shrugged. “My girl, he’s besotted. You could ask for the Allfather’s head and he’d serve it on a golden plate with a garnish.” 

“Were it that I could ask for it,” you mumbled bitterly. “So many of his woes trace back to the King. That’s why Prince Thor contacted me.” 

Aunt Ing raised an eyebrow. “He is an old despot. He won’t even give us an ambassador. That’s why the riots in the Capital are reaching a climax.” 

“An ambassador?” you asked. 

“Well, a high-ranking Asgardian politician would take up permanent residence in Vanaheim and act as the voice of the people. They would establish a parliament here and take their concerns back to Asgard. All that stands in our way of having one is Odin’s designation, which he refuses to give. It relinquishes his power only slightly.”

You smiled, an idea forming. “Then that will be my play.”

“Play?”

“Maybe I could convince the Prince to ask for an ambassador! Surely the Allfather would listen to his own son!” you suggested. 

Ing twisted her lip. “I suppose.” 

“Aunt? You seem anxious.”

She looked away for a moment, plucking a single grape from her tray and rolling it between her thumb and forefinger. “Y/N, I hope you guard yourself. I will always endorse a good love affair, and truly, I am happy for you. Just know that reality is always waiting around the next bend.”

You nodded. “You refer to how he is to be married one day. I know this.”

“Yes, child. You can never be a wife to Prince Loki, no matter how desperately you star-crossed lovers strive for it,” she reminded you. “All you can hope for in the end is to be a haunting memory he recalls from time to time as the ages go on.”

You felt your heart sink. Perhaps you were starting to lose your grip after all. It was true: Loki would be wed to this Princess Ase at some point in the future, and you would be rehomed. He’d have a royal family of his own and forget about the little starling he once professed feelings for. 

“Then I will have to savor the time I do have with him,” you said, resigned. “And make sure I can complete my task before the blessed event if Vanaheim is to be saved.” 

The Allfather sat at a large desk, a sentry behind him. The King was pleased with the news he had just received. 

“And he stayed to witness the execution himself, did he?” asked Odin.

The sentry bowed his head in the affirmative. “Yes, Majesty.”

“It seems one of my sons has become a man and a leader at last.” the King replied. Then, he got an idea. 

“Sentry, have a summons sent to Alfheim on behalf of Prince Loki, saying that he is requesting the presence of the Princess Ase, and that he wishes to begin the official wedding ritual. Even if he doesn’t believe he is ready, I think this last action proves the contrary.” 

“Yes, Majesty, at once!”

“He’s been so gloomy,” noted the Allfather. “A wedding will certainly lift his spirits.”

@vickie5446 @thedistractedagglomeration @jonquilclegane @lonadane @lokisgoodgirl @just-someone11 @mcufan72 @hypergamer7744 @usagishira @silverfire475 @coleranchdorito @huntress-artemiss @elegantcheesecakecrown @lokixryss @25bohemianmoons @crimson25 @waywardsummoner46 @ladyjames78 @chantsdemarins @sorceresski @ladymischief11 @goblingirlsarah @fictive-sl0th @goldencherriess @marvel-fan24 @trickster-maiden @glitterylokislut @eleniblue @12-pm-510 @simplyholl @crimson25 @psychospore @wolfsmom1 @silverfire475 @coldnique

#loki #fanfiction #mcu #mcu loki #loki fanfiction #mcu fanfiction #loki laufeyson #loki x reader #loki/reader #loki smut #loki angst #odin sucks #thor is a good bro #mcu thor #asgard #beauty and the snake prince

[femme-kitty]

april 20th, 2023 

finished my first therapy session w jamie! i felt really safe around him :”)

i couldn’t stop crying when he asked me to describe to him what a typical day was like at the apartment for me, and how i felt at night when i couldnt sleep or when i would feel the physical symptoms of the smoke affecting me,

i cried a lot explaining to him that i would silence myself and my partner’s noises or talking or that i would tip-toe in the mornings and at night to try to avoid being noticed/heard when she was in her room. he said what i was doing to survive living there was minimizing, silencing, and hiding myself and my partner to prevent kiara from wanting to hurt me any further through the smoking or even through her mood shifts when she would come outside angry/anxious, 

that whenever i was in fight/flight mode, there were no rational/logical thoughts in my brain because all of the blood/oxygen had rushed back to the hippocampus to try and get me out of the threatening situation, that you don’t act rationally or logically in those situations

he made me feel validated in my fear from living there and in how horrible the situation was for someone who had already gone through so much beforehand and even before that as a child with my parents and my moms explosive anger or breaking of things in the house

he said we can work to keep building our boundaries with our family members and in having coping mechanisms for anxiety that work before the fear arrives, because my coping mechanisms so far had only been working on the anxiety once i was already consumed by the fear. he said my during-anxiety coping mechanisms were still good for me to do though. i’m actually really excited to see what he means by pre-anxiety coping mechanisms, he said you can catch and soothe it in time before it consumes you and i’m honestly relieved and excited to know that. i’m excited to be a learner and try my best!

i have four more sessions with him scheduled for may, and it makes me feel really safe :”)

i am healing, and i’m so proud of myself.

from 21 year old angie to baby angie, i’m so proud of you and i love you so much. every part of you that feels broken will be lovingly mended with time and care, and your heart will fully shine again

never give up!

-carolina <3

#caro #april 2023 #cocoon

[moldisgoodforyou]

no tattoos

wordcount: 1.7k

warnings: drunk sophie, hints of nsfw talk, etc

______

Rafe picked up Sophie’s facetime call to be greeted by his excited girlfriend and her talking conversationally in Spanish, albeit a little stilted as her drunk brain tried translating back and forth.

“Sophie -”

“Estoy bebiendo, hemos encontrado este vino por la sangria -” 

He laughed, shaking his head. “English, baby, please. Por favor.” 

“Oh! Fuck, sorry. I’m not sober.” She immediately switched back, bringing a nearly empty cup to her lips as she took him back into her room to momentarily escape the loud party. 

“I can tell. What’s up, just saying hi?” 

“Yeah!” She shut the door behind her and lifted up her shirt a little. ”Baby! Baby, look.” She angled the camera toward her leg, keeping it on selfie mode and hopped on one foot trying to show it correctly.

Rafe held back a smile. “Flip the camera, Soph.”

“No, no, I got it, look.” The camera finally focused in on the purple pen outlining the eventual tattoo, the initials R.C. done in her terrible drunken scrawl. (Her handwriting was pretty poor normally, but her drunk handwriting was much worse.) It was right above her hipbone and at least five inches tall, not at all what she would typically go for with a first tattoo.

He choked back a laugh, eyes wide in disbelief. “Oh my fucking god.”

She grinned and turned the camera back to her face. “What do you think?”

“That’s not - Sophie, you didn’t -” he fumbled with his words, feeling a weird mix of horror and also being turned on that she’d even consider tattooing his initials onto her forever, even if she was drunk.

“No, no, I’m next.” She nearly tripped as she walked back into the kitchen, showing a group of her friends crowded around a table, one of them giving stick and poke tattoos with a practiced ease. The phone was set down and abandoned for a few minutes, but he could hear Sophie accepting another shot with a giggle, her words taking on a pronounced slur.

Rafe waited patiently, straining a little to listen to the conversation.

“Were you talking to your boyfriend?”

“Wait, the one that gave you the ring?”

Sophie laughed and he could picture her grin. “Yeah, I was talking to Rafe. I’m gonna get his initials.” She pulled up her shirt a little to show off the sloppy outline and the girls squealed, both equally as drunk as her. “Oh my god, you can’t.”

“Why not!” Sophie exclaimed.

“What if you break up?”

“Oh, we won’t.” She replied, self-assured. He grinned at that.

“So do you think you’ll marry him?”

There was a brief silence and more giggles and Rafe desperately wished he could see her face. Unbeknownst to him, she nodded with a grin then picked the phone back up, her face tinged pink. 

“Hi! I forgot we were talking!” She took the phone back to her room to talk to him again. Sophie had a tendency of being spacey when she was drunk, often wandering off or just ending a conversation mid-sentence when she couldn’t remember the rest.

Rafe shook his head, trying his best not to laugh. “Sophie. Angel. Listen to me, very carefully, okay?”

She furrowed her brow. “Yes?”

“You cannot get that tattoo.”

She pouted, running her thumb over the ink and smearing it a little. “Why not?”

“Because, Soph. You’re hammered -”

“Am not! I can do a handstand, look, watch -”

“No no no, Soph, just listen to me, please -” he laughed, snapping to try and get her focus as she went to set the phone down and show off (he was a little concerned, especially because he wasn’t sure she could do a handstand sober). “Sophie Flint! Hey. Hey. Pay attention and listen. No tattoos.”

“You don’t like it.” She frowned, lip wobbling, and Rafe could feel the tears coming on. He paused, part endeared and part exasperated. “It’s - it’s not that, I just -”

“No, you hate it and you’re going to break up with me because you think I’m a bad artist and I could never open my own tattoo shop.” She sighed dramatically, a few stray tears spilling down her cheeks. 

“Jesus, what did you drink?” He muttered to himself, shaking his head. “I’m not breaking up with you, baby.” He couldn’t help but laugh, utterly confused. “Has this been some long standing dream I’ve never heard of?”

“You’re laughing at me!” She cried out, rubbing the heels of her hands hard against her eyes. “I’m a great artist.”

“Oh my god.” Rafe muttered, grinning. “Yes, you are. Hey, how about you wait, and - um -”

He grabbed a piece of paper from his desk and held it up. “Look, I’ll draw you the tattoo, but you have to wait until you get it in the mail. So you can copy it right.” He pretended to write his initials onto the paper, knowing he had zero intention of sending it to her.

“Oh. You mean it?” She sniffled, her tears long forgotten.

“I mean it. Nothing to cry over, baby.”

She nodded, swiping the back of her hand over her eyes to get rid of her tears. “You promise to send it? So I can have you with me forever?”

He swore he melted at that statement alone. “That’s why you wanted it?”

“Yeah. And ‘cause I miss you.” She paused. “I miss your dick too, but I’m not gonna get that tattooed on me.”

He laughed loudly at that, shaking his head. “I think that’s a solid plan. No tattoos tonight, okay?” 

“I’ll wait until you come out and we can both get each other’s. Oh!” Her face lit up and it was almost painful for him that she was so far away when she was in one of his favorite moods. “Yeah, Soph?” 

“You could get my signature, on your letters! The S and the halo!” 

He paused, thinking. “That’s not too bad.” 

“No, it’d be perfect. I want it over your heart. So everyone knows you’re mine.” She declared, tracing her idea over her own heart to demonstrate. 

“Okay. I’ll think about it. Go back to your party, angel, go have fun.” He urged, feeling better now that he’d talked her down from the tattoo ledge. 

“No, I miss you, I wanna talk.” She flopped down onto her bed and propped her phone up, then wrapped her arms around her pillow. “Last night one of my roommates brought some guy home from the bar and it’s not fair. You should be here so I don’t have to get off on my own.”

Rafe grinned, shaking his head. “You’re trouble.” 

“Am not.” She protested, then grinned. “Unless you want me to be. Then I can be trouble.”

“Keep your voice down, Soph.” He admonished, knowing she had a tendency of being loud when she was drunk. “Go drink some water for me.” 

“No. You know what’s bullshit?” She fished around in her nightstand drawer, looking for something. 

“What?” 

“Ah!” She held up a small drawstring bag. “My vibrator died last week -”

“Jesus Christ, woman -” 

“- and I can’t find a replacement anywhere online. The thing won’t charge here, I think I electrocuted it. Useless.” She tossed the bag across the bed, scowling. 

He was clearly strained, rubbing his temples. “Can we go back? Since when have you had a vibrator?” 

“Since, like, sophomore year.” 

“And I didn’t know about this, why?” 

She shrugged. “You never asked and I think I can probably count on my fingers how many times we had sex in my room last semester. What was I supposed to do, reach over and whip it out when we were fucking?” 

He laughed at her brash words and dropped his head in his hands, shifting in his seat. “You’re going to be the death of me, I swear.” 

Sophie waved her hand, ignoring his struggle. “Rafe, listen to me. That picture you posted with Colin, in the swim shorts, you’re holding the beer?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I’ve literally never wanted to get down on my knees more.” 

He about choked, eyes going wide. “You can’t just say things like that without a warning, angel.” 

“I’m serious -”

“I’m sure you are.” He laughed, trying his best to ignore her tank top slipping off her shoulder and the way she licked her lips. 

“And when you come visit and we travel, I want to have sex in every country. Just so we can say we did.” She declared. 

“We’re only going to be in three, Soph. Including Spain.” He countered, attempting to switch the conversation for his own sake. 

She yawned, stretching, and her shirt slipped a little lower. “Okay, so we’ll just have to travel more together later. Fuck, I miss you.” 

“You too, baby.” He heard her name being yelled out in the background and laughed, raising his eyebrows. “Do you need to go?” 

“Prob’ly. More shots, you know how it goes.” She dragged herself up out of bed and glanced down at her shirt, sighing dramatically. “I gotta change, don’t I?” 

“No, you look great. Go have fun, I love you.” 

“No, no, I gotta change.” She insisted, pulling off her shirt with no hesitation and Rafe sucked in a breath, watching her hunt around through her laundry basket of clean clothes waiting to be folded. “You’re teasing.” 

“I’m not teasing, I have a bra.” She snapped the strap for emphasis. 

“You are teasing. I can see your underwear when you bend over, your skirt is short.” He laughed when she turned a little red and tugged it down. “You’re lying.” 

“I’m not. They’re pink with little red hearts on them.” He grinned. “Adorable.” 

“I’m not going to waste my good underwear when you’re not here.” She defended, then found the shirt she wanted. It was one of his from intramurals, with Cameron written out on the back. He held back a smirk when she tugged it on and it went to her thighs, her skirt barely peeking out under the hem. “Is this better?” 

“Yeah, you look beautiful.” He smiled. “Go back to your party.” Rafe paused, adding, “Tell Mateo I said hi.” 

“That’s weird, but alright.” She shrugged. “You be good, okay?” 

“I don’t think you’re the one that should be telling me that.” He laughed, shaking his head. “Have fun. If you go out, text me when you’re home again.” 

“Deal.” She blew him a kiss before waving and hanging up. 

taglist: @whoeveniskendall @kkmaybank @karsinner @outerbanksbro @outerbankspreferences @randomficsandshit @sunshineitsfine44 @jailcalledlife @tovvaa @moniamaybank @illbesafeforyou @dontjinx-it @freddymaybank @jjmaybankzz @g4bster @oopsiedoopsie23 @babygal-babygal @thecuthoney

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron fanfic #rafe cameron fanfiction #outer banks #outer banks fanfic #obx #obx fanfic #rafe x sophie #mine #college rafe #frat rafe

[letsdiscoverkitty]

Treatment/Recovery Update - May 2021

Okay, I will try to ramble less in this one (so sorry!) ^ well that didn't happen!

In terms of when I did leave hospital, as I mentioned a tiny bit in the last post, my EDP was completely AWOL. A month before I was due to be discharged she came to a meeting with myself and my consultant, during which we set up 4 appointments that would be over zoom before I was discharged to help with relapse prevention and the transition home, as well as setting out, in principle, the therapeutic support that I would be getting once home...it all sounded great, so great. But as usual when it comes to my team, it was too good to be true (should have called it). I attempted to contact her when our appointments never happened but I kept being met by a brick wall; no one knew what was happening, all I got told was that she was "off"... Time passed and I was discharged with only a phone call booked in from someone from the general team to check I was safe a few days later (it was literally 5 minutes, long if that) and an appointment to do physical monitoring the next wee....a far cry from the original discharge plan *sigh* Coming home was a bit of a whirlwind. We were approaching Christmas but we were still under a lot of restrictions with COVID, so it was a very strange/messy/weird few weeks.

Time continued to pass and there was still no confirmation around therapy or support, even the ED team didn't know what was happening with L, I just continued to go to two weekly physical monitoring. In the end, with nowhere else to turn, I contacted my consultant from hospital. To say that she was mad that nothing had been in place/I had no support would be an understatement and I thank my lucky stars that she was able to get involved. It took a couple of weeks but I finally had my first session with a therapist in February. In total it took about 8-9weeks from discharge to see someone, which, well, was hard.

Upon reflection, I think one of the biggest things I struggled with with coming home was that I had literally no leave to practice beforehand. This meant that I unfortunately slipped back into old habits very quickly as, well I know it is no excuse but coming back to the same environment your brain easily slips into automatic mode and you find yourself doing what you "used" to do without realising it.

I was in, I would say, quite a vulnerable state when I left hospital (the last few months there were pretty rocky to say the least) and the day before I was discharged (as I mentioned in a previous post somewhere) I was handed 3 different, very conflicting, meal plans and the nutritionist who had previously been very horrible to me and who had been away for a number of weeks, told me that she did not think I could continue to recover at home and that the best possible case would be if I only lost a bit of weight over the next 6 months....I think you can probably guess how badly this was taken and how messy my mind was. So with 3 meal plans in hand, none of which I had practiced, with little to no support from the ED team, I was, essentially, crisis managing, simply trying to get through each day.

I know, I know. Classic kitty - stuck record. failure. mess. making a million and one excuses. trying to make out like she is fine to the rest of the world when in fact inside she was falling apart. sigh.

In terms of my weight recovery I was not discharged at a healthy BMI/weight, which my consultant was sad about, however I was in a much better place than when I was admitted (I think I had gained about half the weight I would have needed to from when I was admitted to get to a healthy weight). I will admit that part of me does wonders whether staying would have been beneficial, because on a very basic level yes it could have helped in some ways. However if I stretch my mind back to when I was still on the ward ,it actually still floods me with anxiety and fear because of how UNHELPFUL the environment had sadly become. It is hard to explain to someone who has not experienced an EDU, but the patient groups can and do make a massive of differences. I was vvv lucky that when I was initially admitted, and for the first good couple of months, it was a v supportive and recovery focused environment. However, by about late Sept/early October ,things turned completely upside down (which was not helped by the fresh COVID lockdowns either) and even staff were saying how terrible it had gotten and how they could not believe the things that they were being asked to manage on the progression ward. There were times when I felt incredible unsafe on the ward and feared for others patients, which is not "okay". I genuinely believe that staying any longer would have likely made my mental health decline further; I had already found the massive shift was negatively affecting me and I think staying would have been unwise. I had also gained quite a lot of weight and was, I hate to admit, struggling with both coming to terms with that along with dealing with everything that you are continually facing when going through treatment/recovery alongside working on trauma stuff. I know none of that is any worthy excuse, but that was how it was...At this time I was struggling a lot with my meal plan and had quite a few lapses whilst on the transition phase of the unit however despite screaming out for help/support from staff, because of the acute situation on the ward, I was just left. They knew I was struggling, I was told time and time again that they had not forgotten me, but did I get help? no. It was actually made worse by the then nutritionist who sat me down like a naughty school girl and basically told me that I was a failure and that I would never achieve anything in life blah blah blah (please see a past post if you want to know more) which made me even more scared to reach out for 'help'/'support'. So no, I don't think staying would have helped much, which is a real shame.

Therapy wise I had a bit of a rough ride in there (god I'm really selling this aren't I?!). When admitted I was not in a place for 'traditional' therapy what so ever; looking back I honestly have no idea how I was even 'functioning' (was I functioning? probably not) and even the group therapies were a struggle but my consultant stuck with me and with time I was able to process a little more. One thing that helped me beyond words was 1:1 Art Therapy. This was not something I had accessed before, only ever doing group sessions in the past which was mostly about getting away from the ward and doing a bit of art. I cannot reiterate enough how different and HELPFUL the 1:1 sessions were. The art therapy, who I knew from the last year and is an absolutely GEM, helped me to begin to process and work through the trauma that I had experienced with dad. It took a lot of time and persistence but I was able to use those sessions in so many ways and I will forever be grateful to P for supporting me (I was so lucky to be able to have 1:1 sessions for the majority of my 8 admission).

The more traditional therapy initially took the form of 30min sessions with my consultant once to twice a week (as much as I hated them, she was bloody good). I also had a review and a few sessions with the lead therapist via zoom (she was heavily pregnant so was working from home) not long after being admitted, but she soon went on maternity leave. This left me to be picked up by her student, who was actually incredible. We did a long extended piece of work on my perfectionism which, again, was SO helpful but she sadly left (for bigger and better things) and I was left hanging for a while as there were no other openings. A new lead therapist started and after a while he did a few sessions with me before leaving suddenly (I think even staff only had a weeks notice, which was ridiculous), so I was back to twiddling thumbs for a few weeks. I then met with a therapist who worked 2 mornings a week that I saw a bit during my last admission but we didn't do many sessions and it just fell away. This was mostly my fault as by this point I was questioning my admission and whether I would self discharge as there were some not good things going on on the ward, so I wasn't really in the headspace to explore things deeply and had been picked up and put down so many times that I just couldn't do anymore. Throughout that time though I continued to see my consultant weekly, mainly focusing on mindfulness and other therapy styles thrown in there too at times.

I will forever be thankful/grateful for the admission I had, especially to be under a different consultant (for COVID reasons they had to split things differently as they would usually do it by area but that wasn't possible at the time I was admitted) as her approach made a huge difference. I still remember one of the first things she said to me was that she couldn't believe/was that I had been placed on the SEED pathway and that she believed that I could be more than that, which honestly, gave me a little bit of hope (something that had been ripped apart and shredded by my usual consultant multiple times).

But back to now.... I have now been seeing a new therapist weekly (when possible) since February and, in a backwards way, I am so glad that L disappeared off the grid because the "support" I was going to be getting under the original plan was just sessions with her to do some self guided self help stuff, whereas with this therapist we have actually been doing some HELPFUL work. In terms of L, I think the last I was told she never returned to work and has now left the team (we have a sneaky feeling that she either had a complete break down or that it was due to too may complaints (mum called this a long time ago as she was not qualified for the role at all and was utterly useless), which, yeah, was strange to not get an ending as I had worked with her for a few years. Anyway, I've been doing SCHEMA therapy with this new lady (I'd not heard of it before) and at first I was a bit reluctant but it's been incredibly insightful. I continue to learn more about myself and the reasons why I may have gone down certain roads each session. HOWEVER. and this is a big however. There has been a bit of a snag in the rope.

In short, yes I have been engaging really well with the therapy side, my weight and physical health has only continued to deteriorate since i was discharged. We are talking classic kitty of slowly slipped backwards, nothing dramatic, nothing to make alarm bells go off or warrant a review, but it's not been good. Anorexia is screaming at me for saying all of this, it shouts "but you weigh so much more than when you were admitted, you are a complete fraud blah blah blah" which is all the same old boring drivel it always spews out. But basically Im in dangerous waters now in terms of losing therapy/not being able to engage with therapy properly if things dont improve. Ive been in classic stuck mode, getting so absorbed by the numbers and the bubble that AN offers, that I have been numb to it all. The HCA I was seeing was really trying to help me to make changes but she left a while ago (she was going back to train as a nurse) and since then I have had the odd appointment here and there (I think it fell to every 3 weeks for a while as there were no available appointments) with people trying to cover the clinic until someone else is hired for the role, which is far from ideal as they literally just do the necessary obs and send you on your way.

Okay that sounds like yet another excuse, which is probably is, but it's not been an easy ride since I left hospital to say the least.

BUT this past week things have begun to shift a little. I was honest with my therapist about the whole food/meal plan side of things and we actually spoke about how we can't focus on therapy things until I am in a more stable place, which is both really hard to hear but also exactly what I need to hear. I am actually being more open to change, which is a shift from where I was just a week ago. It is bloody painful, even just thinking about it all hurts/is exhausting and I am still very much in the darkness /struggling with it but there is now a little part of me that is screaming out and trying to be heard. There is a little part of me that WANTS to get out of this endless messy limbo that this relapse has been and wants to start stepping back into "recovery". There is part of me that wants a chance. And I've got to start listening to that side a little more.

I promise, the next update will be a little more positive Stay tuned.

#personal #update #If anyone actually reads this you deserve a medal #im sorry #this is a crappy update #I promise there are more positive things to come #I have things to tell you all!!!

[votederpycausemufins]

another chapter for Summoning family (now that it has an official name) and this time i’m remembering to ping @petrichormeraki!

 stayed near Grian as he cried on the bench while Tommy, Techno and Phil yelled at each other. Jellie had moved from their lap and into Grian’s arms, not caring how tightly they were hugged by the distraught avian. 

He listened as Grian mumbled sadly, trying not to listen too much and hear something that he didn’t want to be shared. However Tubbo was still able to make some things out. It sounded like they hadn’t even been around for a year yet. Sure they were programmed and built older, but they weren’t even a year old. There was also something about a box and virtual reality which Tubbo wasn’t completely sure about. Perhaps they had just started as programs in some sort of computer before getting bodies.

Carefully, Tubbo put a hand on Grian’s shoulder. The avian jolted slightly, but otherwise didn’t react.

After a bit more waiting, there was a shout from Mumbo as he arrived. Grian immediately sat up, hoping for good news. “Please. Please tell me y-“ He didn’t need to finish the sentence, the redstoner looking like as much of a mess as Grian currently was. “No. No no no no no. Please th-they can’t. N-not again please.”

Jellie jumped off of Grian’s lap when Mumbo sat down on the bench. He hugged Grian as the builder continued to cry. “I- Xisuma said that he couldn’t force a respawn. As far as the world is concerned, they did respawn, but that they also aren’t in this world. I… I already checked their old bodies, and they’re not there. X also found the world we went to to rebuild them, but they’re not there either.”

Grian nodded as he pressed his face into Mumbo’s shoulder, letting the jacket absorb his tears. “If you think of anything else, I’m sure we can get someone to look into it, but, until then I could-“

“N-No. pl-please don’t r-replace them. I-if we find them… a-and they come home to that…”

“Alright, I won’t.”

Tubbo watched as Grian continued to cry before getting up and walking over to Tommy and the other two. “Can you three please stop arguing! I’m pretty sure that’s just going to make it worse. Instead we could try to help figure out what exactly happened to those kids.”

“Tubbo, you heard what Grian said. They didn’t respawn.” Tommy replied, crossing his arms, still upset at Techno.

“And Mumbo said that it was more an error with the respawn. From what they can tell, they respawned, just not here.”

Tommy’s brows furrowed at that. “So they could be somewhere else?”

“Yeah, they’re not sure where though.”

“G’s a Watcher, so he could try looking, but at the same time he’s already been a mess the past few days.”

“So we’ll need to try and do that on our own.” Phil piped up. “Where have they tried looking already?”

“They said something about the world where the two of them were built, but they weren’t there. Other than that, I think they’ve only looked here.”

Phil nodded. “I’m not sure what worlds Mumbo had been in, but I’ve heard a little about where Grian’s been. There’s a chance they could be in one of those worlds.”

“Also the chance they could be back at the old castle.” Techno huffed, reluctantly willing to help.

“Alright then. Let’s get to it.”

“So we are going... where now?” Grumbot piped up as he continued to follow behind Ghostbur, carrying Jrumbot who was holding what seemed to be a special type of blue dye.

“We’re going to Sam. I’m sure he’d be happy to help you!”

“And who exactly is that?” The robot spoke apprehensively, though he was pretty sure it was a different Sam.

“Someone who’s going to help!”

As they walked along what Ghostbur was calling the prime path, someone else showed up, coming from the other way. “Oh! Puffy! Hello! It’s me Ghostbur!”

“Hi Ghostbur. Who are these two following you along?”

“I’m not sure! They’re new and needed some help so I was looking for you, but you weren’t home so I was going to Sam next.”

“Well, now I’m here so I can help out.”

“Thank you Puffy!”

Grumbot took that as a chance to speak up. “I suppose now we will be returning to your house?”

The sheep hybrid nodded and Grumbot followed behind her now, though Ghostbur gave Jrum some more of the blue dye before he left. “So, I haven’t seen you two around, so I’m guessing you’re new here.”

Grum nodded. “Indeed. My brother and I arrived today on accident. We wish to go home as soon as possible.”

Before Puffy could ask for clarification, Jrumbot started with another bout of crying, clinging tighter to his brother. Grumbot patted his brother’s back before moving his hand higher and quickly pressing the power button at the nape of his neck, forcing the younger robot into sleep mode.

“Is he alright?” Puffy asked, a bit concerned about the sudden silence.

“Yes. He is simply sleeping for now. He should be better once he wakes up again.”

“So he’s your little brother I assume?”

Grum nodded. “Correct. He was built eleven days after I was. That being said, his programming and mine make us seem older and have a larger age gap.”

Puffy nodded as she opened the door to her home, letting Grum and Jrum inside. “Sorry if it’s not the best in there. Wasn’t really expecting to have anyone staying over any time soon.”

“That is alright. We were not aware that we would need to stay someplace other than home for the night. May I ask what you have in terms of redstone.”

“I’ll have to check.”

“I see. If you do not have an adequate amount, my brother and I can take shifts gathering some more.”

“Might not be the best idea. You only just got here, so you will need to get gear first before anything like redstone.”

“Redstone is extremely important for us.” Grum replied. “We are powered by it after all.”

“Well… alright then.” Puffy said after some slight hesitation before searching through her chests. “This is all I have right now.”

Grum took the redstone and put it into his inventory. “Jrum is the one who has the blueprints for what we will need, but I believe I recall what items we need, so I will begin to craft those.”

Puffy tried to make more conversation, but Grum brushed her off and began to work. He did want to talk with the sheep hybrid, but he knew that it would take more energy. As he began to craft, he glanced at his readings. Full health, almost full hunger, battery at 73 percent. He was glad they had been charged well before going to the shopping district. He glanced over at where Puffy had taken Jrum. Though Grum knew he technically had the better brains, Jrum had inherited their daddy’s knowledge of redstone. If push came to shove, Jrum would be more important than him to have full charge, so he was prepared to transfer power if needed.

“I have crafted all that I can. Are there any important questions for me before I put myself into sleep mode?”

“Well I messaged the admin here and he’s coming over to greet you.”

Grumbot nodded. “I see. How long will it take before he arrives?”

“Not too long. Even with everything he does, he still finds time to greet new members to this place.”

Grum nodded again before moving to sit next to where Jrum was sleeping. “I believe that will be important enough for my brother to be awake.” And he gently shook his brother, the screen on his face lighting up with a loading bar before his face reappeared.

“Nggh… I wanna keep sleeping.” Jrum grumbled a little.

Grumbot shook him again. “You will need to be awake soon. The admin of this world will be arriving shortly to meet with us.”

“Xisuma?” Jrum asked before sitting up. “Oh… right…”

“He may be able to assist us with getting home, so you should not feel too down.”

Jrum nodded before scooting closer to Grum. He then pulled out what looked like a diamond block and hugged it, making Puffy’s eyes go wide. “I thought you just got onto the server. Did you get that from Ghostbur?”

Grum looked between Puffy and the block before realizing the issue. “Oh no. That is not a diamond block. It just appears to be one. It is something from our home. Jrum, can you allow her to inspect it?”

Jrum looked nervous, but Puffy gave him a kind look and he reluctantly gave it up. The hybrid looked it over quickly before handing it back, Jrum hugging it tighter than he had a number of moments ago. “Huh, it does look like one, but it is smaller as well as lighter than a block of that size would be. Where did you get it?”

“Dad bought it for me when we found a trader selling it.” Jrum meekly answered. “Since he gave us more than one I have more at home… but this one I always keep with me.”

“Well you might want to be a little careful with that. Someone might think it’s the real deal and there are a few people who might want to take it.” Puffy didn’t want to scare the kid, but it was better he knew just to be safe. The reasoning still didn’t help the tugging at her heartstrings when the young robot hugged the toy block ever tighter, the slightly plush material warping slightly from the pressure.

Grum pat his brother’s head to give some comfort. “I am sure that as long as we reside in Puffy’s care it will be safe.”

Jrum nodded a little but stayed quiet as they waited, but they didn’t have to wait long as a man in green wearing a white mask entered Puffy’s home. “Hi Dream. These are the two kids who showed up.” Puffy greeted the admin and led him to the bots.

“Hello. I am Grum and this is my brother Jrum.”

“Well it is nice to meet you. I didn’t expect anyone more to be joining us so soon.”

“Well, we did not expect to end up here ourselves. I believe the last thing that happened before we ended up here was us dying and our respawn brought us here instead of where we likely would have appeared.”

Puffy took a step closer to ask a question. “What do you mean ‘likely’?”

“Oh, my brother and I have kept safe since our creation so we have not needed to respawn before today.”

“Well.” Dream spoke up, getting the attention of the bots again. “I’m sure those here would be glad to accommodate you as you get started here. It shouldn’t take too long for you to get settled especially with Puffy’s help.”

Grumbot frowned. “Settled? I am sorry, but we would like to get home as soon as possible. Our parents and family will likely be worried about us.”

“I see. Well I’m sure we can do something about that, but there’s no telling how long that might take. So it’s probably best if you prepare for the worst case scenario. But I’ll try my best to help with getting you home.”

Grumbot tried to ignore the feeling that this admin wasn’t telling the entire truth. But at the same time, Grum knew not every server was perfect and he and his brother were brand new. There was also the fact that they likely weren’t supposed to be here and the admin was wary, like Xisuma was when Tommy first showed up as well as when he briefly met with Tubbo and Philza. Even if this admin was wary of them, Puffy would likely give them more answers if he asked, so there was little worry.

“I supposed that is a valid argument. Though may I ask, do you have someone here that is proficient with redstone? We may need to meet with them with a concern of ours.”

Dream nodded. “Yeah, there’s Sam. He’s pretty good at that stuff and I’ve commissioned him for some work. He’s likely your best option.”

Grum nodded. “That name was mentioned by Ghostbur as he was planning to take us to him when we originally could not locate Puffy.”

“Well then, I’m sure you won’t have any trouble there. Now I need to go back to other things.” Dream said before leaving. Grum frowned as the feeling of worry returned. The tone of the admin’s voice sounded off there. It wasn’t anything too prominent, but Grum had caught it nonetheless.

“Well, I guess we should go visit Sam if that’s what you two are worried about.” Puffy suggested and Grum gave a small nod while Jrum started nodding furiously to his side.

“Yeah! Here! I think I can print out the blueprints for what we need! They’re probably going to have to be a little different because when daddy made them, it was in a place with kinda different redstone mechanics, but it wasn’t too bad and I can help out too!” And Jrum started printing out some schematics for a new redstone charger for him and his brother.

“Until then, I think I will need to conserve power.” Grum spoke up. “Jrum, how are you doing?” Jrum immediately looked down to the ground and twiddled his fingers. Grum sighed and pulled a cord out from himself. “I’m sure you need the charge more than myself.” And he plugged the other end of the cord into Jrum’s side before putting himself into sleep mode.

“We’ve checked all the worlds we have access to. And the admin from the other worlds haven’t seen anything?” Phil half grumbled as he sat in a chair at the table where Tommy and Mumbo were looking through some documents.

Mumbo shook his head. “No. I got a message from Ilmango just before you returned. He was the last one we were waiting on. I mean, technically there’s still one place we haven’t checked but… no they wouldn’t be there.”

Tommy looked up from what he was doing. “What are you talking about? What could possibly be left?”

Mumbo looked like he regretted saying anything, but Phil did what he could to get the redstoner to answer. “I… There… Hermitcraft has a sort of… parallel world. It’s not a different dimension, but the two are loosely connected. I’m sure if they somehow ended up there, Xisuma would have noticed, but…”

“But what?”

“There’s a chance True could have done something with EX’s help, so they still could be there without anyone knowing.”

“True?” Tommy asked. “Who the fuck is that? Is she their admin? Cause if so, that sounds like something Dream would try doing if he thought of it.”

“No, EX is the admin. It’s just that they had a sort of…” Mumbo waved his hand as he tried to think of what to say. “They had an election of their own and to them, she’s about as highly powered as an admin.”

“Alright, that doesn’t sound too horrible. If we’re just checking on the place we shouldn’t have to deal with all that. What is this place?”

Mumbo fidgeted, not wanting to answer, but Tommy did his best to convince him. “O-Okay. Um, It’s called Helscraft. I believe they’re on their fifth world as opposed to our seven.”

“Why does that matter?” Tommy asked.

“Because Helscraft is home to the Helsmits. They’re sort of like… our evil copies. We haven’t interacted with many of them, but the few we have met haven’t been the best. There’s EX who’s the admin. We’re not completely sure he’s really a Helsmit, but again, we don’t know that much. Helsknight is the first one we really met. After that was True and Bad Times.”

“So that’s… X, Wels, False and Scar?” Tommy asked, making sure he was following along, to which Mumbo nodded. “Yeah, Dealing with an evil False does not sound fun. But I still think we should try. I mean, We have Philza Minecraft and The Blade on our side. If anyone can deal with these guys, it’s them!”

Mumbo sighed. “Alright, but we’ll still need to check in with Xisuma before we try anything.”

“Alright, deal.”

#hermit!tommy au #hermit!tommy #grian #watcher!grian #grian xelqua #avian!Grian #mumbo jumbo #tommyinnit #philza #technoblade #grumbot #jrumbot #ghostbur #captain puffy #dreamwastaken #helsmits

[abigailadams1788]

Humans are Space Orcs: DON’T EAT THAT!!

So I’ve been obsessed with the whole “Humans Are Space Orcs” thing for a while but I haven’t had an idea to add to it until tonight. I don’t know if this has been done before but here’s what happened: I was texting my brother and he mentioned watching this video of a guy who was eating his leftovers in the styrofoam to-go container. Like, eating it styrofoam and all.

You’re probably like “You idiot don’t eat that!” and my next thought was “What if an alien reacted to that?”

Cause here’s the thing: we’ve all seen the posts of humans eating anything. We consume caffeine by the gallon in the mornings just to stay awake. We eat chocolate by the pound cause it tastes good and lifts our mood (don’t act like you didn’t gorge on that chocolate pie/cake at Thanksgiving. We all know you snuck that third piece when no one was looking.) We consume fruits that have cyanide-filled seeds. Hell pineapple is toxic if it’s unripe but we put it on pizza and salads anyways. It’ll burn our tongue anyways but we still eat it.

So naturally, aliens are in this mode of “Humans can eat just about anything. They come from this major Deathworld; why wouldn’t they eat everything? They already said “Fuck you” to the natural order of predation. Might as well have an appetite to facilitate that.” So just imagine this:

Xa’var shuffled into the mess hall after a long what xis human counterparts would say day. Xa’var had been up since the first shift and was just now getting something to eat. It wasn’t easy, being the liaison for xis’ council and the humans, but it was a job Xa’var took pride in.

Laughter caught Xa’var’s attention. The humans that xe had come to consider friends were hunched over a holo-device, laughing at whatever they were watching. Curiosity arose in Xa’var’s mind. It was always a fortuitous occasion to learn more about xis’ counterparts. It could even be a new report to make to add to the “How To Deal With Humans 101″ handbook. Xa’var used xis main tentacles to walk over to the humans’ table.

“Hello, Human Rachel. Hello, Human Todd. Might I inquire as to what it is you are watching?”

“Oh, Xa’var! Didn’t see you come in.” Rachel bared- smiled- there were still many things to get used to about the behaviors of humans- at xim and moved over so Xa’var could lean down comfortably. “Todd was showing me this video of this idiot eating his leftovers with his to-go box.”

Xa’var leaned down and focused one of his eyes on the holo-device while the other watched the reactions of the humans. On the screen, one human male was eating a white contraption that appeared to have rations in it. Other humans were telling him to cease the action, but he seemed to not believe them. Todd and Rachel seemed to be very amused, though the humor was lost on Xa’var.

“I am confused.” Todd wiped his eyes- note to add to the handbook: humans cry when laughing.- and looked up at Xa’var. “What is the human doing wrong?”

“Dude.” Rachel snorted, seemingly trying to not laugh. “You don’t eat styrofoam. Everyone knows that.”

Xa’var was astounded. He had believed that humans could eat anything.

Xa’var remembered when someone had accidentally spilled another’s ration on xim. The result was an extended stay in the medical wing because the acids in the foods had almost burned through xis carapace. 

When Human Rachel came to check on xim and asked to see the rations, they were brought in for her inspection. To Xa’var’s horror, after smelling the rations, Rachel had taken a rather large helping and eaten it.

Instead of immediately convulsing and screaming in pain, as what had happened with Xa’var, Rachel simply moved her shoulders in a movement that Xa’var recognized as a shrug and said: “Could’ve used a little more spice.”  When Xa’var had inquired as to how she could handle the acidity of the food, she had laughed and commented that her mother- the human term for egg-layer, since apparently humans weren’t hatched- used to make something called a curry that burned when one ate it. Xa’var had made a note that night to his council to avoid the human food known as curry at all costs.

“You... you mean humans can’t eat everything?” Xa’var knew it was not the most tactful approach, but the fact that the man was being seen as an apparent imbecile for eating his food container seemed to Xa’var to be a type of prank. Surely they weren’t serious about it?

Both Human Rachel and Human Todd lifted the hair above their eyes- eyebrows, Xa’var mentally corrected- in surprise. “Who told you we could?” Todd asked.

“I...” Xa’var felt xis skin start to flush with embarrassment. “It has been believed for a long time that humans can eat anything.”

“Well...” Human Todd leaned back in his chair. “I mean, we technically can eat anything, but there are things we shouldn’t. Does that make sense?”

“I am afraid it does not. Could you please elaborate?” Hunger temporarily forgotten, Xa’var lowered into a neighboring chair, tucking his tentacles under xis carapace to facilitate a comfortable position; new information was always worth giving one’s full attention.

“So here’s the thing: our stomach contains something called hydrochloric acid, which is largely responsible for breaking down everything we eat and converting it into energy, basic nutrients, proteins, you get the idea.” Xa’var nodded along, a habit xe picked up from xis human counterparts as a body language that communicates understanding. “Now we humans measure the acidity level of acids on what we call a ph scale. It runs 1 to 14. 7 is neutral, with numbers above it being alkaline in nature and numbers below 7 running acidic. The lower the number it is, the more acidic it is. 6 is more acidic than 7, 5 more than 6, and so on.”

“I see, I see.” Xa’var nodded again, enraptured now. Xe had been educated on the different scales humans use to measure things, so xe knew what a ph scale. Though, for xis people, 7 was actually capable of causing severe burns. A 4 could sear through a warrior’s carapace with ease, while anything less than a 3 was guaranteed death. 

“So where does a human’s acid level fall?” In the back of Xa’var’s second brain, the knowledge that could come from this could be useful in avoiding injury should a human’s internal organs were exposed during a battle. Given a human’s resilience, xe wouldn’t be surprised if that happened at some point and the human continued to fight.

“It depends,” Rachel spoke now. “If someone hasn’t eaten in a while, the acid in their stomach might level out at about a 4, but while they’re eating it’ll go up to a 2 or even a 1.” Xa’var felt xis eyestalks retract slightly in horror. “Lemon juice is typically considered a 2, so if that helps put in perspective.”

“Y-yes. But I am still confused as to what you meant by “shouldn’t eat”.” Xa’var cleared xis throat, trying to not let the rising horror be exposed. Levels out at a 4?!? Rises to a 1 while they were eating!?! A 1 would melt the carapace and internal organs of his people with ease and continue destroying until it was neutralized, but this happened as a natural occurrence within a human’s stomach?? Multiple times a day!?!

“Ah, yeah. Well, I guess it’s kind of like what happened with you a couple weeks ago.” Rachel shrugged, crossing her arms. Xa’var recognized the body language as bored, not hostile. It was a fine nuance, but one xe was proud xe could spot the difference in. “Humans can eat virtually anything cause our stomach is so acidic it will kill virtually any virus or bacteria that enter with our food on contact, with very few exceptions. Even then we can fight through most illnesses and poisonings as long as we keep our immune system up.

“That said, there are some things we just shouldn’t eat because it provides no nutritional value to us. Styrofoam is one of those things. Glass, plastic, rubber, paper,” Rachel shrugged again. “We can eat all of those things, as evidenced by people who do, but we shouldn’t because they don’t provide the nutrition our body needs.”

“So, what you are saying is that, while humans are perfectly capable of consuming anything, but chose to not because of nutrition concerns?” Xa’var felt the inquiry sounded more absurd spoken than it did in xis head. To xis surprise, Human Todd and Human Rachel nodded.

“Pretty much. We can sometimes get what we call “acid reflux”, which is when the acid in our stomach rises into our esophagus. This is caused by allergies or a malfunction of the internal blocker we have to prevent that from happening, but it’s rare. Usually it’s caused when we eat something that doesn’t sit well with us and causes an imbalance in our stomach acid.” Human Todd confirmed.

“And this is not dangerous?”

“Oh no, it definitely can be.” Rachel commented far too nonchalantly for Xa’var’s comfort. “Usually it’s just uncomfortable, but it does burn like a bitch. It’s why we start crying whenever we throw up. Our esophagus doesn’t have the natural lining our stomach does to protect it from the acids, so the acids literally burn away our throat. Some people have burned a hole in their throat because of acid reflux. Most of the time though that can be fixed with a simple dietary change, though some people have to take medicine to help balance out their ph levels.”

Xa’var’s brains were reeling. Not only was the initial belief confirmed (humans can indeed eat anything), but they were capable of doing so because their internal organs contained an acid strong enough to melt his carapace! It could even burn the humans’ own throats but they treated it like it was nothing!

“Are you alright, Xa’var?” Xa’var blinked. Rachel was staring at xim with an expression xe recognized as concern. “You’re white.” Looking down, Xa’var realized xe was indeed white; xis people’s skin changed color based on emotions. Apparently, the horror xe felt was enough to cause xis body to involuntarily react and try to camouflage xim with the surrounding tables and chairs.

“Y-yes. I am fine, Human Rachel.”

“You sure? Have you eaten anything today?”

“I, have not. I will go do so now. Thank you for telling me this information.”

Rachel and Todd watched as Xa’var maneuvered out of the mess. Despite xis words, xe was going the opposite way of the food. “What’s his problem?” Rachel asked.

“I dunno. Maybe a long shift?”

“Maybe.”

Little did they know that Xa’var was heading to xis quarters to not only update the “How To Deal With Humans 101″ manual, xe was also going to send a very important message to his council about the truth of a human’s terrifying ability to eat anything.

Follow my writing Tumblr @the-red-dragon-queen for any and all new writing posts!!

#humans are space orcs #humans can eat anything #humans are weird #humans are space australians #humans are strange #humans are terrifying #humans are the weird ones #thought dump #this came out of nowhere #i like it though

[tomtenadia]

Island Dreams - Chapter 27

Welcome to chapter 27.

So, we are still in Glasgow. Our two lovebird are having a tourist day and Rowan is showing Aelin some of his favourite sites of Glasgow.

Later on there is a moment that has a warning: your ovaries might explode because Rowan is just... let's just say that he will be such an amazing dad.

His accent has a bit of a transformation and he goes into Glasgow mode and in my head Rowan with a Glaswegian accent is so sexy that I want to cry.

In this chapter they cover quite a lot of ground and all the places I mentioned they do exist. These are the cloisters: https://i.redd.it/mxant25n4zh01.jpg. Glasgow uni is a truly amazing site but I particularly adore the cloister and the image does not do any justice at all to the place. This is Kelvingrove: https://peoplemakeglasgow.com/images/Things_to_do/Museums_and_galleries/Kelvingrove-995.jpg. another place that has a special place in my heart. Because it's free, every time I am in Glasgow I go in.

The Hunterian Museum is one of those hidden gems that when I was still working in tourism I used to recommend to everyone visiting Glasgow. It's incredible and the medical section is my favourite.

The Korean restaurant they visit is called Bibimbap and it's a place I adore a lot. Glasgow has a Lego store and like Aelin I always want to spend my entire salary in it.

I adore Glasgow. Deeply and as Rowan said, it's a very underrated place. I worked in tourism for almost 9 years and 95% of the people wanted to go to Edinburgh and bypassed and ignored Glasgow altogether. It's a shame. Its people are amazing and the city has so, so much to offer. I am waiting for lockdown to be over so I can go back.

Ok, I finished playing tourist office for Glasgow.

I leave you to the chapter <3

(If there are typos, as usual I am sorry, but after a long day at work my brain does not cooperate anymore)

-----------------

The following morning it was Aelin to be the first one up. Her stomach was grumbling loudly and she was starving. Slowly she disentangled herself from Rowan and went to the bathroom to get ready. She grabbed her phone and the forecast said another day of high temperatures so she dressed lightly. She was finishing getting ready when Rowan finally woke up. “I woke up before you for once.” She gloated. Rowan rolled on his back and stretched out his limbs “did you three sleep well?” She walked to the edge of the bed and sat beside him. He took her hand and kissed it, then sat up and kissed the bump and then Aelin “morning, my darlings.” “I slept beautifully. I was so tired that it did not take me long to pass out.” “And how do you feel this morning?” “I need to eat and then I am ready to explore.” She admitted while finishing packing her bag for the day. Rowan laughed “let me get dressed.”

Aelin sat on the bed and stared at him while he was getting changed “nice ass, Whitethorn.” In response he wiggled it and Aelin burst out in laughter “now get a move on. I am hungry.” “Fine.” He was ready in five minutes and together they walked downstairs for breakfast which turned out to be a bit of a disappointment. Aelin had not been impressed by it and claimed that the option of continental breakfast was not exceptional so Rowan promised to take her to a nice place for a proper nice breakfast. Once they got back to their room Rowan prepared his backpack, which was now much lighter since all the snacks had disappeared. “Give me your hoodie.” “It’s a lovely day.” She protested. “Yes, Fireheart, but you have lived in Scotland long enough to know that it might not stay like that.” She gave him the hoodie and he packed it away, leaving Aelin with just her small bag. He grabbed their two water bottles “remind me to ask the hotel if they can fill these up for us.” Ten minutes later they were outside the hotel and Aelin was giddy “come on, old man. I want to explore.” Rowan took her for breakfast as promised and she was very satisfied with the place and declared that for the next few days that’s where they were going. Later on they arrived at Kelvingrove and entered the museum and noticed the sign saying that the following day they were going to close for a wedding reception. Aelin smiled at him and pointed at the sign “it’s the first time I go to a wedding reception inside a museum and a wedding inside a university. It’s so cool. I feel so special.” Inside the main hall they noticed the staff was busy at work setting up the tables and chairs for the following day. Aelin was stunned. The place was a dream with incredible architecture and at the end of the main hall there was an organ and Rowan explained to her that from time to time it was used and they had concerts. Rowan dragged her around the museum and they had great fun in the technology section were they fought off kids for a chance to play with the installations “they should stop hogging the displays, it’s not just for them.” Whispered Aelin. “Such a lovely maternal instinct.” “I want to play too.” She protested. Wondering around, Aelin had no idea where to look. There were plastic heads hanging from the ceiling in one of the halls, whereas in another one there was what she thought was a Spitfire. She had listened enough of Aedion’s talks about planes to have a general and very basic knowledge of some famous models. She took a photo and sent it to him. His reply came quickly and she laughed. “What?” “Aedion is jealous that I have a Spitfire hanging from my head.” “You need to tell him about two airshows we have every year in Scotland. The Red Arrows and the Typhoons are always there. I bet he’d love to be there.” “I’ll tell him straight away. He did three years in the Red Arrows. He probably performed in them.” “No way.” “Oh yeah, he is that awesome as a pilot.” It took them a few hours before they left the museum. Aelin loved it so much that Rowan had to literally drag her out with the excuse that there was so much more they had to see. They continued their walk inside Kelvingrove park and sat down for a while allowing Aelin to rest. “It’s amazing that there is such an incredible park near a university. I love it.” He pulled her close “On a sunny day I used to come and study in the park instead of the library. This area is my favourite part of Glasgow and it has some fantastic places where to eat.” “Are you okay for another walk or shall we sit a bit longer?”Aelin turned and leaned her back against him. Rowan, moved as well and placed his legs at each side of her and pulled Aelin against his chest. “Let’s relax a bit longer. It’s so nice around here.” “I was in student accommodation the first year,” he started telling her, “but then my friends and I found a flat just around the corner on Argyll st. I used to come for morning runs here, the park is very extensive.” “This is the only corner I have seen so far but it seems like a beautiful city.” She felt Rowan nod “It’s quite snubbed and very underrated. People tend to flock to Edinburgh and ignore Glasgow. Yes, it’s much more industrial, but that’s its heart and its identity. Glasgow was an industrial city famous for shipbuilding and, if you feel like it, we can walk a bit along the Clyde and you will see what I mean.” He kissed her ear “Its people are incredible and very friendly. It also has one of the best musical scenes in Scotland. I used to go to so many concerts.” “Did you regret going away?” “I…” he paused “I adore Glasgow. It has a special place in my heart, but I missed the islands. I could not see myself living in a big city no matter the advantages.” “You accent has changed a bit.” Rowan laughed hard “I ken. After four years of uni here I had lost my islands accent and I did sound like a proper weegie.” “A what?” “A weegie is someone fae Glasgow.” And in that moment she heard the heavy shift in his accent. Aelin finally sat back up “come on weegie, let’s go and see this uni of yours.” Rowan stood and pulled her to him for a kiss “it means a lot to share all of this with you.” She smiled “I am just trying to imagine a younger you in this environment.” He took her hand and slowly they started walking towards the university. “One step at a time, the road goes uphill.” Aelin had to stop a lot “drat, this is painful.” She said breathless. “Take your time.” Eventually they made it to the university main building and Aelin sat down on one of the benches in the main courtyard “Let me take a breath and then I will be ready to admire this beautiful place.” He kissed her head “all the time you need.” He stood in front of her “I have a few ideas for the rest of the day. It’s still quite early so we can do the uni. Then how do you feel about the Science centre? We can go there by public transport.” “In London I was obsessed with he national science museum. So, yeah, I am all for it.” “Then we can have a short walk along the Clyde just to show you and then take the bus back into town.” He brushed her hair “We can have lunch. Are you still craving Korean?” Aelin nodded vigorously. “Good, a restaurant might not cause any issues because I assume they know how to cook it. There is an incredible one in the centre.” “Done. What else?” “There are a few options and it all depends on how you feel.” “Unless I have to climb another mountain I am fine.” “So no Necropolis, then. We can stroll around Buchanan st. you can also do some shopping if you’d like. We can visit the merchant quarter which is quite charming and very central as well and if we are lucky we can catch a tour of Glasgow City chambers which is basically the HQ of Glasgow city council but it’s a spectacular building.” He offered “or we can go to Waterstones.” “Whitethorn, you are setting foot in a chain?” Aelin had quickly learned that Rowan was a great supporter of independent shops. Tesco was the only chain they used and just because it was handy for grocery shopping. He was a strong supporter of the community and hated mass produced stuff. “I know, but I love it. I must admit it’s a guilty pleasure. But it’s still books. Uh, I forgot, there is also a Lego store in one of the shopping centres.” “Ok, let’s visit the uni, then go to the science museum and take a walk along the river. Once we are in the centre we’ll have lunch and we go from there. But I definitely love the bookshop idea and the lego store.” “Good.” She gave him her hand and he took it and helped her get up “are you sure?” “Yes, I am rested enough.” They started walking along the uni quadrangles and Aelin had a feeling of being back in time. The building was magnificent and Rowan was playing cicerone and telling her all about every single building they were meeting. Then he stopped and placed his hands on her eyes. “What are you doing?” “Surprise.” He pushed and she started walking under his guidance. Once he was in the spot he wanted, he removed the hands and Aelin gasped. “Welcome to the cloisters.” The cloisters were nothing but low arches, but surrounded by the rest on the ancient building, they appeared like a wonderful and magical place. “This is gorgeous.” She walked around in a daze admiring he site “this is such a magnificent place where to get married.” Aelin took a few pictures and Rowan took a few of her while she was wandering around. She had the most amazing expression of delight in her face. She moved to him and folded her arms around him as much as the bump allowed it “dance with me.” He kissed her and his arms reached around her back and started swaying a little and humming a song in her ear. Luckily they were alone and they were not giving anyone a show. “It feels like the perfect place from a fantasy novel. I don’t know why.” “I always thought it like the main path to the house of an old wizard secretly living in the uni grounds. The kind of place where you would see people in dark cloaks strutting about or a couple of knights.” “I love that your mind wanders in the same places as mine and that we are weird together.” “I love my weirdo.” He said while making her twirl. Then he stopped and bowed to her “my Queen.” Aelin giggled “I really need to find you a sword. One of those fake ones people use for cosplays and such.” He grinned and took her hand “come, there is a place that I am positive you will adore.” She followed him and took a final look at the cloisters and tried to imagine it with a wedding happening under them. “Ok, there are steps unfortunately, but it will be worth it.” “Is it a collection of your pictures when you were a student. Naked ones perhaps?” Rowan laughed “no.” “That’s disappointing.” “It’s my favourite museum of all times. It’s called the Hunterian and there are two rooms that as a doctor I am positive you will adore.” At the top of the stairs Aelin stopped, breathless “I know it’s an historical building, but a friggin lift would be lovely.” He passed the water bottle to her “drink a little.” Once she was done they entered the museum and Aelin gasped. Rowan took her hand “Let’s go to the cool parts first then we’ll do the rest of the museum.” She followed him in silence. They reached a section and Aelin noticed it was all medical based. “This area is basically the history of medicine.” “No way.” Aelin started to walk around, amazed at what she was seeing “I did an elective on the history of medicine and it was fascinating.” “Ro, this is incredible.” Aelin left his hand and started wandering around in a daze “This is how it all started. How doctors started to discover how to cure diseases, although methods in the past might have been at times a bit unorthodox. This is it.” She kept walking along the cases admiring displays of ancient medical tools. This time it was Aelin’s time to be the guide and she was giving him a run through of what they were seeing. Rowan stared at her in fascination. Her face lit up in a joyful expression while she was admiring the collection. Once they finished the room, Rowan took her to the next surprise. “If you loved the other room, I have a feeling you will adore this one. Mr Hunter had an incredible collection of anatomical and pathological specimen and they were donated to the museum. The others are in the anatomy museum down the road.” “Can we go there, please?” “Of course. I have never been there so it will be a novelty for me too.” Aelin left him at the entrance and stepped into the room. Large glass cases stood all around and in the middle and inside she could see jars with formaldehyde and what she was positive were body parts. “Hunter was a pioneer anatomist and obstetrician. That’s why there are so many foetuses. He studied them and all the pathologies connected.” “Like all interns I had to take anatomy classes and we had to dissect cadavers. I was the only one who actually enjoyed those classes and never puked. I found it always so fascinating and for a while I had even contemplated becoming and pathologist and do post mortem and all that stuff.” “What made you change your mind?” “The rush that I would get in the A&E. I specialised in cardio thoracic and applied it to an emergency setting and I fell in love with it..” She kept walking “This collection is something incredible. Aelin stopped and stared at an heart without any blood in it. Rowan put his arms around her and his chin on her head. “A heart without blood looks so weird.” He commented. Aelin chuckled “I will never forget the day I held a beating human heart in my hands for the very first time.” “Tell me.” “I was assisting my mentor and he left me perform the surgery under his supervision. We knew there was damage but there was so much blood that it was impossible to see anything. So very gently I took the heart in my hand to try and find the damage. It was warm and beating, albeit slowly, against my palm. I literally had someone’s life in my hands.” “You are such a badass.” He joked. Aelin was explaining something to Rowan when a group of teenagers came beside them and the girls started to complain that the displays were disgusting. “What is this.” Asked one of the teens pointing at the jar with an empty heart that Aelin had just finished to admire.” “Looks like a lump of flesh.” Said one of them. “It’s a heart.” Aelin corrected him “That’s how a heart looks when there is no blood circulating.” She explained. “That is not a heart.” Aelin was on the verge of loosing her patience and Rowan placed a hand on her lower back “I am a doctor. I know how a heart looks like.” “It’s disgusting.” Aelin sighed and luckily the group moved away. “What?” She asked when she noticed Rowan’s stare “they ruined my enjoyment of this museum with their stupid comments.” “They were teenagers.” “So what? They were fucking stupid.” Rowan sighed and pulled her to him trying to calm her down “Come, let’s go and see the piece of a meteorite that landed near Glasgow.” They went to see the meteorite and then finished the rest of the museum but did not spend as much time on the displays as they did for the medical part. Aelin was fretting to go to the Anatomy museum so they headed out and Rowan took her there. If she had been impressed by the collection inside the Hunterian, Aelin had been definitely in love with the anatomy museum and Rowan allowed her to take all the time she wanted. Aelin also ended up chatting away with one of the staff members at the museum and Rowan had enjoyed seeing her so animated. “Did you had a nice chat?” He asked when she finally came back to him. “The guy is a retired doctor and we had the most fascinating conversation, sorry.” He kissed her gently “don’t apologise. It was actually quite amazing to see you in your element and there are conversation I can’t have with you because I don’t have the knowledge so it’s nice to see you so involved.” “I like our conversations,” she leaned forward and kissed him back “very much.” Once outside the university they went to take the underground again and they headed for the science centre. Once they arrived Aelin squealed “what is that?” She asked pointing at the metallic dome near the entrance. “That’s a cinema. They also have a planetarium.” “Shall we go?” “If they have a show while we are here, we can definitely do that.” “Come on.” Aelin took his hand and dragged him inside and she bought the tickets for both. They ended up spending a few hours inside the centre, playing with all the installations and once it was time they also did manage to catch a show inside the planetarium. “This was so fun. Who said that these places are just for kids?” Rowan threw an arm around her “can you walk a bit? I was thinking of taking you along the Clyde up to the squinty bridge and then catch a bus into town.” “Squinty?” “Yes, as in not straight. You will see why.” The day was hot and nice and Aelin lifted her head up to catch the sunshine and she felt amazing. They stopped in front of a massive crane. “This is the Finnieston crane.” Rowan added pointing at the massive construction “It’s the last vestige of Glasgow’s shipbuilding past. It’s quite iconic.” Aelin lifted her head. “It’s massive.” “It was used to load cargo on the ships. It had to be.” “I love it.” Then she looked around and noticed the bridge “Is that the squinty bridge?” Rowan nodded and they walked there and Aelin took a lot of photos. They walked to the bus stop and on the bus a lovely woman stood and offered her seat to Aelin since the bus was packed and Aelin was incredibly grateful. She wanted to keep exploring but her back was killing her and welcomed the chance to sit down. Rowan stood at her side and his hand brushed her hair “you are tired.” She shook her head “Please, let’s not go back to the hotel, I am having so much fun.” He sighed “are you hungry?” “Starving and really thinking about Korean food now.” He smiled back at her. After ten minutes he helped stand “That’s our stop.” Aelin turned to the woman “thank you so much for the seat.” The two got off the bus. The city centre was completely different from where they had been all morning. She could definitely tell they were in a busy city. “Let’s get you fed.” Rowan crossed the street and she noticed that the restaurant was just opposite them. They entered and asked for a table for two. Aelin looked up and noticed colourful umbrellas hanging from the ceiling. They sat at their table and Aelin went for the menu. She was ready to eat an elephant. She eyed some of the dishes the waiters were holding and she was tempted to steal one. They all looked so delicious. They ordered and then Aelin put a hand on Rowan’s “thank you for today. I loved all we did so far.” “I am glad you are having fun.” He squeezed the hand back “how are our two girls doing?” Aelin patted her bump “Just swimming about. I can feel them move and they kick from time to time which is a good sign.” He winked at her and in that instant the waiter arrived with their food and Aelin almost howled in joy “Finally.” “It looks much better than what I did.” “Yours was really good too.” His face saddened “So good that made you unwell.” “Ro, we don’t know. Stop moping. I loved it.” They went back to eating and Aelin was enjoying the food greatly “I think the only thing that I miss in the islands it’s the choice of ethnic restaurants. That’s my only issue.” Rowan chuckled “I agree. I was so used to the massive variety here in Glasgow that when I got back home it took me a while to get used to it. That’s why I learned to cook.” “And you are amazing at it. Just less veggies.” Rowan laughed “no chance.” “Spoilsport.” They finished eating and hand in hand Rowan led Aelin through the street of the city centre and they ended up in the merchant quarter and Aelin took in the magnificent architecture. “There is a big shopping centre, fancy doing some shopping?” “A bit.” He kissed her cheek “Let’s go.” They walked a short distance and eventually arrived at the Buchanan galleries. “You don’t like shopping centres…” “Shhh.” He said kissing the back of her head while on the escalator “There is the lego shop in here. Plus it makes you happy, so I don’t care.” They reached the first floor and they started walking and Aelin stopped when she noticed a baby shop “Ro, look.” She took his hand and dragged him inside “We don’t have anything for the twins. I know we are waiting for the bigger items until we are in the new house but look…” and she picked up a onesie “isn’t this adorable?” Rowan was too busy playing with a soft toy in the shape of an elf. With a big smile he turned to her “what about this?” Aelin stared at that giant of a man holding a soft toy with a tenderness that almost made her cry. Aelin went to grab a basket “make it two” she went browsing around the shop and her heart melted at watching Rowan picking up clothes for their girls. He came back with two tiny bathrobes that had cute ears and a dragon’s back ridge “I am so in love with you right now.” Aelin moved to him and gave him a quick peck on the cheek while Rowan replied with a big toothy grin. She was positive they could get stuff for the girls at home but that shop had the cutest stuff and Aelin had every intention to splurge a nice whack of money on their daughters. She wandered around and got some essential stuff while Rowan was still looking at tiny dresses. He went to her with a big smile and two lovely dresses in his hands “I know they will outgrow them very quickly, but look at these.” His voice was the one of a father already madly in love with his daughters. He was holding two lovely dresses in green. “Add to the basket.” Was Aelin’s response at the clothes. Rowan took the basket from her hands which was slowly getting fuller and fuller “I’ll carry it.” “We have a green and blue theme going on here.” Added Aelin looking at the range of stuff in their basket. “They are lovely colours.” “I agree. And I am not buying pink just because they are girls. It’s a horrible colour.” Eventually they made it to the till. “You have a nice selection here.” Said the woman behind the counter “And two of each.” “Yeah, twins.” Added Aelin patting her bump. Rowan was about to pay but she stopped him “this is on me.” He reluctantly put his wallet away. Rowan grabbed the two bags and they left the shop, and Aelin was beaming and placed an arm around his waist. Then she spotted the lego store and Rowan knew he had lost her. She was inside the shop and was looking at the different set “Ro, am I crazy if I say that I want to spend my entire salary in here?” Rowan laughed “no you are not, but remember that we have to get back to the hotel and we already have two bags full of stuff.” “Look.” She pointed at a plastic container in the middle where you could create your own lego figurine. “Let’s build ourselves out of lego.” Aelin did manage to find the face, the hair and the dress she liked and she went for the queen style. Once she was finished she started creating a Lysandra and then an Aedion. And while she had already created three figurines, Rowan was still creating his. He had gone for the warrior look and also added a sword to his little character. “I love it.” She said, then placed the four figurines in the plastic container to protect them. She went to pay and he finally managed to drag her out and she sat on one of the benches exhausted. “We should go back to the hotel.” He commented when he noticed how tired she looked. “I agree. I don’t think I can walk any longer and my back is killing me.” “Sit five minutes then we’ll go and take the bus back and I am going to explain the situation to the hotel and ask if they let us order in.” His hand brushed her hair “we can stay in bed, watch tv and enjoy the evening in peace.” Then he looked at her exhausted face “ Or, I have a better idea. The station is right behind us. We’ll take a taxi.” “I love you.” Slowly they made their way to the station and got a taxi and once inside Aelin sighed relieved. She had tried to be brave but she knew she could not fool him. Rowan had been keeping an eye on her all day and she was positive he had noticed her exhaustion. They arrived at the hotel and Rowan grabbed all the bags “go upstairs, I’ll be with you in a minute.” She nodded and left him. Back in the room she removed her trainers with a sigh of relief and then changed into her pyjama and sat down in bed. It was only five in the evening and she felt bad at being back in the hotel already but she was wiped. Rowan arrived ten minutes later, he dropped the bags on the corner of the room and sat beside her “tell me what you fancy and I’ll order dinner later. I explained to the hotel your situation and they are okay. They offered to let us one of the table downstairs but I explained that you were probably already camped in bed, with little chance to move you again.” She kissed him “can we have Japanese?” “You can’t have sushi, you know?” He added, browsing for a place on his phone. “I know, smartass.” She lightly punched his shoulder. The food arrived an hour later and Aelin ate in bed, with Rowan sitting on the armchair beside the bed. “This is the perfect ending to a lovely day. I am sorry we had to cut it short.” She apologised. “Hey…” he said, grabbing her hand “I am impressed that you lasted that long. “I wanted to see more.” He placed his food on the nightstand and sat beside her in bed, pulling Aelin to his side “We’ll come back with the twins and do much more.” “Promise?” He kissed her “Pinky promise.” And he gave her his pinky, remembering the day they did that in his shop. It just felt so long ago. Once done eating, Rowan cleared the containers and changed into his pyjama and joined her in bed. Aelin was looking at the photos of the day on her phone. She flipped through them and found one of Rowan she liked “I guess I found my new home screen picture.” He leaned over and noticed his photo “When did you take it?” “When you were not looking. And I love it.” Aelin leaned against him and she grabbed his hand and moved it on the bump and sighed. “What?” “I was thinking.” “That’s very dangerous.” He chuckled. “Look how much difference a year made. A year ago I was just an annoying customer that you hated and kicked out of the shop. And now we are in this situation.” She said pointing at the bump “and a part of me is still scared. With Chaol we had no kids, yes it was a mess but at least we had no kids to suffer in midst of everything. If—“ He stopped her with a kiss “No ifs. No.” He kissed her again “I am going to be cheesy, so be prepared.” And Aelin laughed at the comment. “You are it for me. I have no idea what the future holds for us, but I know that all I want is to spend it with you and our girls. It’s all I ask for. I want a family and I did not realise just how much until you told me you were pregnant. Fine, it happened earlier than probably both of us had planned, but I don’t care. We are in our late thirties, we both have jobs, we can afford a family.” Aelin caressed his face. “I lost track of what I was saying.” He grabbed her hand a pushed it against his cheek “Oh yes, I am a boring monogamist old man who feels very fulfilled at the idea of having a family with the woman he loves.” Aelin started crying “You can’t…” she sobbed “You can’t say things like that to a pregnant woman.” Rowan laughed and hugged her close “I am a sappy old fart when I am in the right mood.” “So sappy.” She added with a wet laugh while Rowan kissed her head “but I have a feeling you will be a super dad. Loving and caring.” “I can only try.” “We’ll try… together.” “To whatever end.” He added, kissing her.

TAG:

@rowaelinismyotp​

#roweaelin #rowan whitethorn #aelin galythinius #rowan x aelin #fanfic #Throne of Glass series #fluff #dadrowanisthesexiest

[shadowhuntertrash]

Okay, can you do Dialogue Prompt 8 for kitty, pls?

Kit knew reconnecting with the Blackthorn’s would be hard, it was why he had put it off for so long. It’s why he was sitting in his room at the LA Institute at three in the morning contemplating all his life decisions instead of reading Sherlock Holmes with Ty or watching horror movies with Dru.

He knew that he should be sleeping but he couldn’t get his mind off of Ty’s blank expressions, and carefully hidden emotions. Ever since Kit had come back Ty had only said about two sentences to him, everyone else had warmed back up to him but Ty wouldn’t, not that Kit blamed him. He knew for a fact that if the roles were reversed Kit would probably be worse than Ty right now.

   He counted it as a blessing.

   Finally, around 4 A.M. Kit fell into a fitful sleep full of empty gray eyes and desperate I love you’s.

   Kit woke up gasping for air, shooting out of his bed so fast he made himself sick. Kit scrambled off his bed and barely made it to the trashcan in the corner of his room before his stomach emptied itself.

   He had dreamt all night about Ty and his insistent need to ignore Kit all the time, he had fallen into a dream about the day his father was murdered, something that only ever happens when Kit is too upset to keep his mind off of it.

   The tears were falling down his face quickly and he tried to catch his breath, broken sobs coming out of his mouth far too loud than he wished. He tried desperately to calm himself, overly aware of the fact that Ty’s room was right across from his and that Ty was a very light sleeper. 

   Kit choked on a sob and heard the door creak open, another sob racked his body as he gave up on trying to be quiet. Someone came to stand next to him and through blurry eyes, he realized it was Ty, who else would it be?

   Kit tried to take in calming breaths but couldn’t get any in. He felt a hand on his shoulder, a light weight somewhat unsure. Without thinking, Kit turned and buried his head in Ty’s chest, long slender arms wrapped around him and he couldn’t find it in himself to muffle the sounds anymore.

   Kit was trembling while Ty just whispered soothingly to him, chin resting on Kit’s head. “Whisper, cloud, secret, highway, hurricane, mirror, castle, thorns.” Ty repeated softly, his calloused hands running gently through Kit’s tangled hair.

  A feeling of affection washed over Kit as he realized Ty was saying his words, words he was sure that Ty had forgotten, from a conversation what felt like years ago. Ty had remembered though, Kit had remembered Ty’s but he had little faith that Ty would remember his, Ty had always used his brain to store useful knowledge and Kit didn’t count his comfort words as useful knowledge.

   “Kit you’re okay.” Ty whispered softly into Kit’s hair, having shifted so he could bury his face in Kit’s blonde curls. Kit let out a weak whimper. He was considerably calmer now, something that only happened with Ty, but he didn’t want to pull away yet. He didn’t want this to be a one-time thing, he wanted this all the time with Ty, the comfort of having him back, he didn’t want to go back to acquaintances who barely talked to one another.

   Instead of pulling away Kit shifted so he could lay his head in Ty’s lap, somewhat stiffly. Ty continued running his hands through Kit’s hair and Kit couldn’t hold back the sad sound that slipped out of his mouth.

   Ty’s hand stilled momentarily before continuing, Kit couldn’t take the silence anymore and closed his eyes tightly, pain radiating in his chest. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Kit repeated, desperately trying to make Ty understand whilst also trying to come up with better words. 

   The words died on Kit’s tongue when Ty pulled away, Kit’s head falling to the soft mattress. Kit didn’t have the energy to lift his head back up, instead choosing to curl into himself slightly, attempting to prepare himself for Ty inevitably telling Kit that this changed nothing and he wasn’t forgiven.

   He didn’t deserve to be forgiven for what he did to Ty anyway. He makes a mistake in leaving he was well aware of that, though he couldn’t help hope bubbling in his chest.

   Whatever Kit had been expecting it wasn’t for Ty to lay down next to him and in a slightly hesitant voice say, “You know I’m always here for you right?” Kit froze, his mind automatically taking defense mode. 

   Ty didn’t care about him, Kit had hurt him more than anyone ever should have. He didn’t deserve Ty being there for him, he didn’t deserve his forgiveness, he didn’t even deserve the kindness Ty and the rest of the Blackthorn’s had given him.

   Kit looked desperately at Ty. “No. No.” Kit said, hysteria climbing in his voice. The tears were coming again, faster this time. “No.” Kit repeated, voice breaking embarrassingly. Ty shook his head fiercely, his voice stubborn and unwavering. “I am. I’ll always be here for you.” Kit shook his head bringing his hands up to his face in a weak attempt to hide his tears.

   “You shouldn’t be. Ty, I don’t deserve that. You don’t- you shouldn’t- I can’t-” Kit broke off with a pitiful cry and suddenly Ty’s arms were around him again. Ty hugged him tighter than before, one arm wound tightly around his back, his hand knotting in the soft fabric of Kit’s pajama shirt, the other holding Kit’s head to his chest.

   Kit melted into Ty, his arms going around Ty’s middle, tears soaking Ty’s gray shirt. Ty buried his head in Kit’s neck and Kit realized with a start that it wasn’t just him trembling. Kit went to pull back, afraid he had upset Ty with the amount of physical touch he was giving but Ty just held him closer which only made Kit cry harder. Kit cursed himself for holding his emotions in which was causing him to cry far more than he normally would.

   “It doesn’t matter whether you deserve it or not, which you do, by the way, it’s my choice Christopher and I mean it, I will always be here for you.” Kit hugged him tightly, his hands twisting in Ty’s, holding him desperately afraid that if he let go Ty would disappear and Kit would wake up again.

   “I’m sorry.” Kit said breathlessly and he felt rather than saw Ty shake his head. “Stop. Don’t be, you’re okay Kit.” Ty paused for a moment before stating quietly, “And so are we. We’re okay Kit.” He said, the hand on his waist rubbing calming circles on Kit’s skin where his shirt had ridden up.

   They stayed like that for another hour, holding each other mumbling short apologies and calming words, before they both fell asleep in Kit’s bed.

   It wasn’t perfect and Kit knew he still had a lot to do to make it up to Ty but it was a start. And when Kit woke up and found Ty next to him, arm still thrown protectively over his side he made a silent oath to never be the cause of Ty’s pain again, silently swearing to protect him from whatever the world threw at him.

   This promise was one Kit intended on keeping.

#kit carstairs #kit rook #kit herondale #kitty #kit x ty #kit and ty #ty blackthorn #tda #the dark artifacts #twp #the wicked powers #ask answered

[atendersun-archived]

Who are some of Muu's closest friends? And does he mind to be friends with kids, old people? Neither gender is not an issue for friendships?

For simplicity reasons, I'm breaking this down into different points:

Muu's main goal in life is to experience having friendships (and even romantic relationships as well) that are built on a strong foundation between both parties it includes. Although he may be the type of person that needs to be explained the same thing over, and over again until it reaches a point in which it is more frustrating than anything else, he is not so dense that he is oblivious to the fact that he isn't exactly ideal friendship material. He's not really great at making other people around him aware of the fact that he deeply cares about them, since he seems too interested in talking about himself than hearing about anyone else, his interests are not incredibly age appropriate or all that interesting, s, and he is far more sensitive than what is probably necessary for a twenty four year old man. With all of that being said, however, he is so self aware of the downfall of his differences that he wants more than anything to give everyone a chance at being his friend as a way of bettering his odds of finding people that will actually have the patience and willingness to keep him around.

With that being said, anyone and everyone is indiscriminately treated by him as someone he is eager to get to know and get to like him. Age, gender, sexuality, socioeconomic status, etc. None of it particularly matters to him just as long as he either receives kindness from them to some extent, or he THINKS he can earn said kindness by pleasing them in some way. This has understandably led to a lot of toxic friendships in which the other party has made it clear they want nothing to do with him, or they make it abundantly clear that they are only utilizing him for some sort of manipulative gain, and yet he knows there is still some chances that he might repeat those behaviors. Something he's learned from spending too much of his free time on Tiktok, though, is that the anxiousness that presents itself with attempting to receive something other than neglect or abuse from someone that will never give any proper praise is addicting to the brain. That it begins to feed off of the fear and uncertainty in those moments so frequently that it begins to crave it. In a way, he knows that is why he tends to find himself placing himself into purposefully dangerous situations, or back into the company of people he knows won't truly respect him as a person. It is because not only does he subconsciously feel that negative attention such as that might be the only thing he truly deserves to have instead of selfishly asking for unconditional love instead, but also because he thrives off of the abuse in some way. Lately though, however, he really has made nothing but really wonderful friendships with people that have made it very clear that they genuinely enjoy his company, and want what is best for him, so it has really been a challenge in rewiring his brain to expect that condition of living instead of slipping into a state of survival mode that can make or break how he is treated that day.

In the past, Muu would have definitely stated that he preferred male friendships on the basis of having someone he could turn to for protection and security as someone that wasn't particularly very strong physically and emotionally. As time shifted to places in which that security and protection was not offered to him, or was overstepped completely when placed into very dangerous circumstances involving himself and another man, Muu found himself gravitating more towards women. To him, they are safer company. They tend to respond to his emotional needs in a way that is more caring instead of belittling him, or responding aggressively. Also, even though a lot of his friendships with women typically cross a line into something more than friends with the addition of sexual intimacy, he has not felt an underlying sense of predatory behavior like he has with some of the men he claimed to be his friends in the past.

Trigger warning for the information ahead. Basically, the most condensed version of the answer to male vs female friends that I can offer to old & new muns alike is: Muu doesn't have the same experience of being able to state that he's been consistently emotionally, verbally, physically, and even sexually abused by female friends as he can with the men he admired to the point he blindly trusted them through some really difficult times, so, therefore, he just generally feels safer around women more than men. He's really trying to work through that though, and bring himself to a point in which he can really let go of all of that in favor of having the strong male friendships he always wished to have growing up.

I am basically just rattling off names at this point. I am sure I can locate more as well, but it is getting late here so who I am able to think of at this hour is under the cut:

Adrian and Gael of @romantxcxsm quickly come to mind because both have, right from the gate, been nothing but genuinely very kind to him. Muu assumed to really only consider Gael as a threat in the sense of having to fight him as an act of making himself the most dominant person the room from taking down the biggest guy he saw, but he never anticipated him and Adrian actually being the most emotionally intuitive people he's ever met. Muu could probably listen to Adrian just chatter on about being this seemingly extroverted person who takes people in on a whim without a second guess for hours. Same as he could just stare at Gael in knowing that even though they only seem like a tall, quiet to the point of almost being mysterious, they actually very sweet and sensitive underneath that exterior.

Hannah @kannojo. aka his wife at this point. This woman right here is his absolute ride or die. She's put up with his ass since they were just teenagers that got into petty fights that he always started. At any point, she could have easily beat his him to a pulp, but she didn't. Instead, she fell for him against all the odds. For her to hold out for him to stop talking about men that struggled to even provide him the bare minimum in a relationship is astonishing. Out of everyone he's essentially knew since he was sixteen up until now, she has been the person he could always go to no matter what. When day after day he faced an absurd amount of ridicule from people in his social circle that berated him and beat him over him being himself, and for wanting to be their friend regardless of it all, it was Hannah he could go to when he needed some to cry to. Her love has carried over from the time he was an annoying young man that was only obsessed with boys and himself, over to when he was so down and depressed that he believed he had no worth as a person based on how others were treating him, and it still exists today as a very queer man just trying to work through an asinine amount of trauma. that's his lady right here ♡ fucking hetereos

Neff @cosmicstardreamer This lady is too all knowing that it baffles him how quickly she can figure things out about him before he can even say it himself. Never would he have guessed for them to become so connected so quickly that he can basically safely tell her anything. Aside from Hannah, who was always just an arm's length away from him telling her everything as it was happening, Neff is still the only one of a few people that know the existence of the assaults he has endured, even if she may not know the specifics of them. While he can not explain it in words, there is at least a particular feeling that he experiences in her company that he feels very rarely in the company of other people. And, to him, that feeling is of completely safety. While she might be off the hook of having to hear him go on about his ex every five minutes, she is unfortunately not out of bounds of having to hear him chatter on about how Tiktok has made him want to learn how to read tarot cards.

Hisao @angstiism. He can't quite put his finger on it, but there is something about the anxiousness that has kept him drawn to him throughout the entirety of them knowing each other. There has been a shift in their relationship as friends, though, as in the past Muu actually looked to the younger male as if the roles were reversed. Almost as though he was seeking safety in them as he saw Hisao as someone very mature and more understanding of things than maybe he felt his other friends were. Nowadays, though, he just keeps trying to make sure Hisao knows that he is the one being taken care of now. Hisao was also someone present in his life when shit was DARK so he has that to navigate as an adult male trying to move beyond a lot of it. Trigger warning again: Though he might have no intention of actually verbally acknowledging it at where they stand as mature adults, having that one friend to show and discuss the children's books on the topic of sexual abuse during a time when he was so very concerned with / very much so craving validation on whether or not being molested in his late, late teens was his fault. It is a memory he holds very dear to himself within the confines of his own heart.

Pchan @nvrcmplt. This right here is his alien. Muu has always found him to be interesting on behalf of the fact that he was sure he had never met an alien before he met this one. Surprisingly, he has never really taken too much of an interest in finding out more about the exact species and abilities the extraterrestrial as up until maybe recently. He's kind of vaguely known them to have something to do with sex as he's been aware of the kinds of friendships and interactions the other has, but since he himself has very conflicting opinions on sex he really never opts to dive deep into learning more about how something unhuman experiences coitus. Now that their friendship has moved well beyond teenager / young man and his alien buddy to an adult man finally taking the time to actually get to know his friend in ways that don't feel as though they underlyingly childish, he feels almost like a whole new sensation when in the company of the alien. He would describe it as wonder mixed in with comfort. As in he is more apt to actually effectively comprehend experiences the alien has had that make up their personality as being something other than "that's my alien friend. he has lots of sex and is nice to me". Also, Muu has no apologizes for trying to beat up Sergio on Pchan's behalf, even if he didn't actually know the circumstances behind the man informing him that he'd hurt his friend to begin with. He'd gladly attempt to bite that bastard again if given the opportunity.

THERE'S SO MANY AAAAAAAAAAA

Yukio and Kuen of @silvxcs even if he thinks they are buttholes sometimes. Kuen with his inability to communicate effectively and always falling asleep while he is talking to him lol. And Yukio for somehow flipping the script on him and becoming more like a caretaker than he ever anticipated. Also because he specifically paid this man to tell Akatsuki to tell him that he's proud of him while possibly holding him for a moment. He had not paid the other male to rat him out and inform Akatsuki of his concerns about the older male being mad at him. Muu still thinks he is stinky for that.

There is Sully @tximidity and Alex @dis--parity. One he may have known for a long, long time to the point of recalling who they were prior to transitioning, while the other is a new face for him, but he both loves them very dearly. Mainly because both Sully and Alex are soft individuals that have been put through the wringer, and therefore he can talk to them about difficult conversations that he would be concerned going to anyone else about. Alex, for example, is someone he can go to and either talk or listen to gender related issues without any concerns. Sully, on the other hand, he finds interesting in the sense of they are this enigma of manhood like himself even if it is in different ways. Also, Sully is basically required to be his friend at this point because he won't let someone who witnessed him cry about skin cells get away so easily.

he love the muppet @goneborne, shinya is his snuggle buddy and he is not taking no for an answer @floriogrxphy, nich @bclasaeg is a meanie that has a crush on him but wont let him see his boy boobs the same way muu flashed his without any concern. god he really values so many of his friendships with people that i can't fit them all here even though i want to so bad

basically everyone that works at Komachi @welivetoserve is unfortunately trapped into being friends with him, but he has his blatant favorites. In the event he is ever in a life threatening situation where he is only given one phone call to make, he has already decided on Ayumu. That one is very nice, so he likes that one. We all know who the absolute favorite within any association to the club is because he never shuts the fuck up about him, but that sucks on account that I would rather mention how Muu will never not get a kick out of being a tiny bit mean to Mamoru as a means of establishing dominance over the man that could very well just ban him at any moment.

#hisheadcanons

[idnek83]

Aid - Chapter 12/13

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Soda Kazuichi/Tanaka Gundham

Tags: Alternate Universe - Island Mode, No Game Spoilers, Masturbation,  Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Semi-Public Sex, Grinding, Wet Dreams, Anal Fingering,  Friends With Benefits,  Getting Together, Internalized Homophobia, Anal Sex

Summary: Everyone is hot and half naked because of their beach vacation. Soda is horny and tries to do something about it. Gundham tries to help and does. It all gets a little out of hand.

Chapter: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13

Read on Ao3

This Chapter: Soda gets some advice from an unexpected source: Soda tries to run from his problems, and realizes that's why he has so many.

_____________________

Soda was sure to stay far away from the ranch, heading in the opposite direction as he left the hotel area. Seeing Gundham just then would be unbearable, he knew he wouldn’t be able to handle the anger on Gundham’s face, knew the hurt would be even worse.

He just needed to stay away for now.

It all could have been so easy if he hadn’t been so god damned stupid. There must have been signs that Gundham was into him, right? Something anyone else would have caught onto…

Like… maybe those names Gundham always called him. What was a consort anyways? He knew it had something to do with kings, so like… a king’s friend? Or was it more like and advisor or something? He wasn’t sure, he’d have to look it up later.

He didn’t even know where to start with paramour, he could vaguely recall a band with a similar name, but that was about it.

But it wasn’t always just ‘consort’ or ‘paramour’, Gundham would sometimes use other words too.

‘Dark’ had been the first one, back when Gundham had referred to him as ‘companion’ more often then not, then at some point it had become ‘dear’. Then ‘sweet’ and ‘dearest’ had worked their way in, along with that word, ‘consort’, that felt like it meant so much more than friend…

But none of that was explicitly romantic, right? Besides ‘dark’ and ‘consort’, Soda was pretty sure he’d called Hajime all of those things before…

Then ‘paramour’… Gundham had first called him that after the night on the beach. It always felt a little… flirtier than ‘consort’, but most of that was probably just cus Soda didn’t know what it meant, right? Or maybe it was something about the way Gundham said it? He remembered Gundham calling him that as he begged him to fuck him the previous night…

Soda’s face colored. Not the time for those kinds of thoughts.

That hadn’t been the only thing Gundham had called him that night though, another new word had entered his speech: ‘beloved’.

Soda blushed even harder.

Okay, so it was pretty hard to interpret that as anything other than romantic.

But Soda had been way too turned on to even notice it…

So maybe there hadn’t really been signs that Gundham was into him? At least not before he had started calling him ‘beloved’ last night. But then there was…

The way Gundham had always seemed so focused on him while they were touching each other, the way he was gentle, paid attention to whether Soda was feeling good, made sure to make him feel cherished with every touch.

Soda wished he could say he did the same for Gundham…

The way Gundham had held him when he was upset, never made him feel bad for crying, and always made sure he knew he was there to talk, while never making him feel like he had to talk if he didn’t want to.

It was so easy for Gundham to make him feel safe…

Yeah. The signs had definitely been there.

He was just the worlds biggest idiot.

He was crying again, out in public now like a loser. He just sat where he was on the beach and hid his face in his arms.

He hoped no one saw him.

“Soda?”

Fuck everything.

At first he didn’t want to acknowledge her, thought that maybe she’d just go away if he didn’t.

But Gundham wanted them to get along better, so…

“Hi miss Sonia.” He didn’t lift his head, he didn’t want her to see him crying.

There was a moment where nothing happened and Soda almost thought she had left, but then he heard the rustle of fabric and saw the light shift as she sat next to him.

He heard her exhale slowly.

“Is something… no. Something is upsetting you. Would you like to speak with me about it?”

He lifted his head to look at her then. What was going on? Why was Sonia even talking to him, not to mention asking if he wanted to talk about his problems.

“I… what’re you doing Sonia?” She had raised her hand as if to pat Soda on the back.

Sonia blushed a little, but her face was determined.

“I am comforting a classmate.” She patted his back a few times, a little too forcefully to really be comforting, then quickly withdrew her hand.

Soda was still confused.

“But, why? I mean… it’s me?”

Sonia looked away from him.

“It was brought to my attention that I do not treat you well.”

Right, Gundham had said he talked to her.

“I decided I will try to improve the way that I treat you. And when I saw you crying I-“

Shit, she had seen him crying. The thought made him want to cry more, but what really made the tears begin to well up again was the fact that she was being nice because of Gundham.

Here was Sonia, trying to comfort him, and it was all because Gundham had asked her to be kinder to him. And how had he repaid Gundham for doing that?

By calling him a sex thing.

He was crying again.

“Shit, s-sorry. I shouldn’t be crying-” Soda tried to wipe away his tears.

“No! It is okay! Please feel free to-” Sonia looked like she was panicking.

“And I s-shouldn’t have treated you so-” The tears just kept coming.

“It was cruel of my to ignore you-” Sonia was tearing up too.

“I really didn’t mean to-” He felt even worse for making her cry.

“It was I who-” She stopped herself to breathe, and Soda unconsciously did the same.

They looked at each other, both red in the face and teary eyed, and Soda felt something shift.

“I’m sorry.” They both spoke at the same time, and their faces mirrored each others shock.

Sonia smiled a little, and Soda thought she might be suppressing a laugh. He smiled back.

“I… would very much like if we could restart our relationship. Would that be ‘cool’ with you?”

“More than cool.”

Sonia held out her hand and Soda shook it.

“Then it has been made official. From now on we will be fond friends.” They let go of each other’s hands and sat in silence for a moment, looking out at the ocean.

Soda knew that wasn’t the end of it. One day they were going to have to sit down and have a real conversation about it, one where Soda could properly apologize for the way he treated Sonia.

“You do not treat each other fairly.”

Right. Each other.

Maybe Sonia would apologize to him too then. He still wasn’t sure how he felt about that. But he was happy that it was out in the open now at least, happy that Sonia knew that he knew he had been treating her badly, knew that he wanted to change that.

And he was happy that now they might be able to become real friends.

He smiled to himself at the word: friends. Not too long ago he would have seen this as another opportunity to try to get with Sonia, but the thought hadn’t crossed his mind. He must have grown some.

And it probably helped that he was hopelessly into Gundham.

Even if he had fucked that up.

He looked at Sonia, who was smiling softly at the sea. Maybe apologies weren’t as hard as he thought.

“Sonia?”

“Yes?” She turned and smiled at him, but he could see a bit of hesitation in her eyes. Yeah, they definitely needed to have another conversation later.

“Have you… seen Gundham today?” There was part of him that wanted her to say no.

“Ah, yes. I saw him when he came to pick up his breakfast this morning.” Something made her frown. “He looked very tired and very upset... Was it you who was the cause of that?” She sort of looked like she was getting ready to yell at him.

“… Probably.” He couldn’t tell her the whole truth but- “We, um, had a fight.”

She deflated a little.

“Oh. You… you did not fight about me, did you?”

“Nah.” He laughed a little, awkwardly. “Well, I guess you were part of it? But don’t worry, it was mostly just me being stupid…”

Sonia looked like she was thinking.

“I visited the farm today, after breakfast.” Jealousy flickered through Soda’s brain, and he told it to fuck off. “Gundham was there, talking to the Four Dark Devas of Destruction. He… he sounded sad, and when I greeted him, he had none of his usual enthusiasm.” She swept some hair from her face. “Whatever it is you fought about, it seems to have upset him greatly…”

Yeah, no surprises there.

“I know. Its my fault.”

“Then why have you not apologized?” Sonia was once again filled with her usual intensity.

“W-what?” He was taken aback by the sudden shift in mood. Sonia was staring at him intently.

“You believe it is your fault he is upset?”

“Y-yeah.”

“And you know what it is you have done wrong?”

“Yeah...”

“Then apologize, you bastard.”

It always took Soda by surprise when Sonia swore, but her blunt logic surprised him even more.

It was his fault and he knew what he did wrong, so he should just apologize? Well, yeah, but it wasn’t that easy…

“But he doesn’t want to talk to me right now…”

“Of course he does not want to talk to you!” Ouch. “He does not want to talk because you have not apologized yet!” She was up on her knees now, leaning towards him with a determined look in her eyes.

“W-well, yeah, but he, um, said he wanted some time to think?” He had said that, why was it a question now? Soda was falling apart under Sonia’s intensity.

“If you fought this morning then he has had plenty of time already. You should apologize now, and if he decides he would like more time to think, then at least he will know that you are sorry!”

“He already knows I’m sorry…”

“Does he?”

Did he?

Shit.

He didn’t.

Soda had never actually said sorry after the whole ‘just a sex thing’ thing. He had tried, but Gundham had been too upset and made him leave before he could.

Fuck.

Gundham was currently under the impression that Soda actually had though of him as just a sex thing, that Soda really didn’t want anything else out of their relationship.

Fuck shit fuck.

Sonia was right, he needed to apologize and make it clear to Gundham that that wasn’t true, that he really hadn’t meant to hurt him. After all, if Gundham did all his thinking without actually knowing the truth, then he wouldn’t be able to come to a real conclusion, right?

He stood up too quickly, it startled Sonia a little.

“Sorry Sonia.” He extended a hand to help her up. “But you’re right. I… I need to go apologize. Right now!” Sonia took his hand and stood. He noted the surprise in her face when he let go, as well as the smile that followed it.

“Thank you.” Soda knew it was both for helping her up, and for not being a creep about holding her hand. Good, they were making progress. Now hopefully things would go that smoothly with Gundham.

He waved goodbye and jogged off in the direction of the ranch.

He needed to talk to Gundham. Now.

Next Chapter

#Soudam #Soda kazuichi #gundham tanaka #Soda/Gundham #danganronpa #super danganronpa 2 #fic #My writing #Fic Aid #Fellas is it gay to talk to your hamsters about your love life? #kazuichi soda

[write-like-you-mean-it]

A Hunter’s Prey: A Feeling Worse than Death

Killua looked at the needle with a smug look on his face. He tossed the small, bloody pin towards me. He must’ve expected me to catch it, but I let it fall into the grass. “Illumi is a manipulator and incapable of loving anyone. He is dad’s pawn. The only reason he likes me is because I am to be the heir.”

“I-I don’t understand,” I mutter while looking between the two boys. “What does this mean?”

Killua’s attitude changed. He seemed to finally understand my confusion. Killua took a deep sigh as the realization of how far in denial I was. “Come on, you can’t be that stupid. You must’ve seen Illumi’s needles before. His Nen type is manipulation. He uses needles infused with Nen to manipulate people into doing things for him.”

“Illumi would never-” I start. 

“Yes, he would,” interrupts Killua. “You’re stupid or suck in denial if you believe he would never do this. He did it to me, his own brother who he loves the most. He does it to people regularly. Once you switch into assassin mode, you don’t care about anyone else. You’re only focused on your target. I should know.” 

“Killua,” said Gon while putting his hand on his friend’s shoulder. A quiet sign to calm down. 

“No, Gon,” replied Killua while moving his hand away and walking towards me. “I already warned her at the mansion that Illumi doesn’t care for her. It’s time she gets it through her skull that helping out Illumi isn’t good. He doesn’t care for her.” Killua went and picked up the needle and put it in my hand. “Once you see Illumi, give it back to him.”

A few tears ran down my face as Killua’s words started to register. “I…” words refused to come out. “I’m sorry,” I said. I didn’t know exactly who I was apologizing to. Myself? Killua? Gon? None of those seem right. Gon looked between Killua and myself. He seemed as lost as I did. 

“Sorry? You’re sorry? For what?” says Killua. “I tried to warn you. You should’ve ran when I told you. It would’ve saved you a lot of hurt.”

I looked down at the needle that he’d put into my hand. It looked exactly like the ones I’d play with when I was stuck in Illumi’s room. It was Illumi’s. I wiped away a few tears from my eyes. I looked down at my hand now covered in smeared blood. 

“Y/N,” said Gon, finally finding a way to join the conversation. “I can go and get a first aid kit. I’ll be right back.” Killua and I watched as the child ran inside his own house and shut the front door. 

“Killua, I-I didn’t know. I should have never come to find you. I’m sorry for putting you and Alluka in danger.”

Killua seemed to finally calm down as he looked me up and down. I must look pathetic in his eyes. I, a controlled person, standing with shaky legs, blood dripping from my head, and tears threatening to fall at any moment. 

The younger Zoldyck sibling sighed a deep, moanful exhale. “You’re not the only one Illumi has controlled. It took a lot of will power to finally be able to let go. Your mind should come back to you soon enough.”

I nodded along with his statement but there was so much that he didn’t know. So much that had happened between us. Between the letter, ring, and baby, I didn’t know what to believe. Too many thoughts wrapped around my brain as I questioned the last year of my life. I’d been so blind sided by manipulation that I hadn’t noticed my world had stopped. I hadn’t questioned a lot related to my life. I’d accepted Illumi’s love without hesitation because I thought he really did love me. Now, I know it was an act. How much of our relationship was a lie? I became too afraid of that question. 

Instead of living with the thought of the future Zoldyck still inside my womb, I turned my attention to Killua. “I can see why your brother likes you so much. There’s so many good qualities that he never had.”

My comment didn’t phase the white-haired boy. “I know.” At this point, the door opened to reveal Gon carrying a first aid kit in his hand. He had me sit down while taking care of the wound on my head. Killua gave me a nod before going inside the house. 

“I’m sorry,” Gon said while touching a particularly tender spot near where Killua’s hand penetrated only moments before my reality shifted. His apology wasn’t just from the touch. I could tell that these emotions were too much for him. Gon was still a child. 

“It’s alright,” I said. I felt a quick buzz in my back pocket. I pulled out my phone to check the message on the screen. Illumi’s name made my heart fall deep within the void in my stomach. It sloshed around enough that I felt like puking. 

“Who is it?” questioned Gon as he finished my wrapping. 

“Illumi,” I said with a dry mouth. “He’s home and wants me to meet him.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I’m not sure.” I put my phone back into my pocket. “I’ll come up with it later. I don’t need to bother you with my own drama. You’ve been very kind to me.”

Gon too his hand off of my head only to sit next to me. “Why do I get the feeling that this is a goodbye?”

A small smile crossed my face as we both knew the truth. “I hope you get your Nen back,” I reply. 

Gon’s face mirrored mine. This last month became a blessing in disguise. I came to see him with the same manipulative tactic as Illumi only to find how much I cared for this child. A month, in the grandness of time, is so small; however, I learned to be a better person through Gon. His appreciation for Killua, discussion about Kite, his father, and friends and talks over dinner made me realize how I would like to raise my child. I’d want someone as kind and strong as him.

“I hope everything with Illumi goes well.”

“Gon, Aunt Mito has finished dinner,” called Killua. We turn to look at the door. Gon stands up and runs towards his friend. 

“Y/n,” said Killua. “Be careful. You can still run away. It’s what I’ve been doing and it’s been nice.”

“I wish I could Killua but there’s so much that you don’t know. It was nice to meet you too. Take care of your sister and Gon. Hopefully I’ll see you on better terms.”

Killua didn’t respond but gave a head nod of acknowledgement. It was a sign of mutual respect between two people who’d been hurt by Illumi. I waited until the door shut before finally letting tears fall. “I hope you’re able to see your niece or nephew.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On the walk back to the hotel, Illumi texted me two more times. One message stating the place I was to meet him and where and the last one asking why I hadn’t responded. Each text was like a punch to my soul. The pit in my stomach began to feel heavier with each passing thought. 

As I entered my room, there came one final text. All it read was ‘you’ll be here tomorrow.’ Illumi was always commanding in texts. Before, I’d assumed it was a harsh upbringing which made him a terrible and demanding texter. I don’t see it that way anymore. I set the phone on the side table while I crawled into bed. 

The old comforter did little to provide me with comfort. I wrapped the blanket so hard around my body that I could feel it strangling the love from deep within my heart. Only here, did I cry. I cried, sobbed, thrashed, yelled, and cried some more as emotions wracked my frame. Illumi wasn’t the person I thought he was. Instead of a prisoner, I was engaged to the guard. I was carrying the child of a person that couldn't understand love. 

My body became a shaking mess after I’d cried out all the water. My phone buzzed a few more times as Illumi’s messages kept getting more desperate. One begging for a confirmation of the time tomorrow to meet. The last one was even more demanding by stating that he knew I’d read his messages but hadn’t responded. I shouldn’t have even checked them to begin with. 

As I placed my phone down once again, I saw his note he gave to me. His writing even gave away the idea he could manipulate people. He wanted me to use it on anyone that would hurt me. Little did I know that it would be him who hurt me the most. 

I decided to take a few more hours until I would respond. I had to gather my thoughts on what I wanted to say when I met with him. The floating questions buzzed around my head like a swarming nest of flies. Why did he do it? Did he think I couldn’t love him? Was he ever going to tell me? Do I actually love him? Do I even care for him? 

I hadn't noticed I was rubbing my belly until I looked down at the growing stomach. It still looked the same as before but this time, I knew there was something different. I was carrying a monster’s child. I would be raising this monster’s child. More desperate tears ran down my face as the buzzing from my phone grew louder and louder in my head. 

I cried until I could feel the puffiness of my eyes and tear streaks down my face. It wasn’t a pretty cry. It was a cry only found within those who have been ruined. I ruined my own life by falling in love with a monster. 

The crimson sun pierced through the blinds. I hadn’t realized I fell asleep until the bird tweeted and the sun awoke me. It was early morning when I finally woke up from death. My head felt dizzy and the remnants of tears had turned my skin numb. I finally decided it was time to message back Illumi.

Illumi had left message after message. All of them were a mixture of demands. Some were soft ones that pleaded with me to text him back while some were angry messages. There were so many messages that it had become overwhelming to read them all. The last message was at two in the morning. All it read was ‘please respond, Y/N.’ 

That message seemed to be softer than the rest. A broken Illumi begging for a response from me. My fingers typed out a quick message that asked where and when he would like to meet. His response was almost immediate. ‘Meet me at York New in your old apartment. I’ll be waiting.’

My hands shook as I packed my bags. Part of me wanted to say goodbye to the close friend I’d gained. The smarter part knew that they were already gone. Those children didn’t seem like the type to stay in one place. 

The travel from Whale Island to the airport seemed like a death sentence. I felt like I was going to my death. My hands would absentmindedly play with the small bag of stuff Illumi had given to me. My mind wandered to the stuff inside the bag all bought by Illumi. Even far away, he was in control of what I wore, my finances, and almost all parts of my mind. I became so consumed with how excited he’d be once he found out about my new Nen ability. Each grueling day was to prove I was worthy of his time. I should have been asking if he was worth mine. 

At the airport, I bought a small bag. I placed the positive test and ring inside the decorative bag. To the normal looking person, it would look like a present. To me, it was a coffin where my heart went to die. When I bought the bag, I had made up my mind. I shoved the bag into my backpack while buying one final ticket to York New. 

This plane ride was worse. The sky felt heavy. The people seemed more like strangers. Even the air had added density. It became hard to breathe as the plane landed on the air strip. Within an hour, I’d be face to face with the person who ruined my life. 

While walking through the York New airport, a few people seemed to give me a harsh glance as if I'd done something wrong. Maybe they knew where I was headed. Did they take pity on a dead girl walking? Why should they?

My hands shook as I held onto the doorknob of my old apartment. In my past life, there would be no hesitation to come back here. It was my safe space in the hustle of the busy streets. Today, I felt as unsafe as if I were to share a jail with a murderer. 

I didn’t know how I expected Illumi to be when he  finally arrived back. One side of me thought he would have already known about my revelation. What I didn’t expect was for him to be lounging on my couch. His legs were long enough that they were bumping against my coffee table. His eyes were pacing back and forth between the phone and a random chick flick movie on the screen. He looked weirdly domestic. 

Illumi’s appearance hadn’t changed much. He still had the long, silky hair and pale face. However, I saw him change when he looked at me. The furrowed brow became a mixture of diluted emotions. Illumi immediately stood up. “Y/n,” he said. “What happened?”

His concern seemed weirdly out of place for the Illumi I’d known. My bandage. It was still there from when Gon had wrapped my head. No wonder I had gotten strange looks from passersby. “Nothing.” My voice shook as I spoke. My fidgeting hand held up the needle that had been lodged into my head. “Would you mind explaining this?”

Illumi’s face didn’t change. He only took a step back from me and stood a little taller. “You must’ve talked with Killua.”

“I won’t tell you if I did or didn’t. I want answers, Illumi.”

“Do you really want to know?”

“Yes. Tell me everything from when you placed the pin in my head to now.” 

Illumi didn’t respond at first. He decided to walk towards me, pick up the pin, and go sit back down on the couch. The love confession of two random characters played in the background as Illumi stayed silent. I, apprehensively, took a seat in the armchair catty corner to him. 

His soulless eyes were still hyper focused on the pin in his hand. “I should have sent you home. Not on this mission.”

“You’re not answering what I want. I can still leave. You’re lucky I returned at all.”

“I was beginning to guess that this was why you weren’t returning my messages even after looking at them. The only three people who knew about this trick were my father, Hisoka, and Killua. Now it seems I have a fourth.”

“When did you start controlling me?”

“The night at the bar. I had to have you as my own. You were too busy with other men to even notice me watching you.”

My mind went back to that night. I could remember more details than ever. “I was never drunk. Was I?”

Illumi, after a thorough examination of his work, placed the pin down. “Yes you were.”

“Then no one put anything in my drink that night.”

“That’s wrong too. You wouldn’t have gone with me if I hadn’t.”

I felt my heart drop. Illumi had drugged me that night. “Y-you did this?”

“You were out for a few days. I placed the pin in while you were taken to my house. Mother and father didn’t suspect a thing.”

“You drugged me?” I couldn’t get my mind wrapped around how vicious and volatile Illumi had been. It made my stomach churn the empty contents. I doubt I’d be able to eat for weeks. 

“Would you have fallen in love with me otherwise? An assassin who is too involved with family matters. I did what I had to.”

“No,” I said. “You made my choice for me. I wanted to leave. You forced me into a life that I didn’t want. You made me lose everything.” My emotions ran high as I finally stood up from my chair. “Illumi, you made me lose everything.”

“You gained so much more with me. Your ability to use Nen, a loving family, a loving significant other who will do anything for you. Isn’t that what all girls want?”

I couldn’t believe what was coming from his mouth. “No. That is not what I want. I had a stable job, friends, a life. You took it away from me. You made me watch my friends die. You made me fall in love with you. You made me into a monster just like yourself.”

“I am not a monster.”

“Yes you are. Who controls a person they love?”

“A lot of people.”

“That doesn’t mean anything.”

“You still believe you’re right with doing this? What else haven’t you been telling me? Did you actually leave to go somewhere else? What else have you been lying to me about?”

“Nothing. I was really gone. Now how about you calm down and we can have a rational discussion.”

I let out the air in my lungs. I could see red encircling my vision. “I don’t have rational discussions with people I loath.”

Illumi cocked his head as he seemed confused. “But you still love me.”

“No. I detest what you did. You used me. I didn’t consent to anything. My whole year was a lie. The only people that were kind to me was the Phantom Troupe without you.”

I couldn’t tell if Illumi was hurt or disinterested in my words. His lack of facial expressions made me angry. He was too calm for his own good. “Who's to say that once you get bored of me, you won’t kill me? I’m nothing more than a breeding machine to keep up the Zoldyck name. I meant nothing to you.”

“I thought we were to be truthful here.”

“I am.” I reached within my bag and produced the present bag I bought at the airport. “Good thing you already knocked me up so you can get rid of me faster.” I chucked the present at him. He easily dodged but the contents flew from the bag. The ring and pregnancy test clattered to the ground. 

Illumi didn’t seem to connect what was given to him. “You’re pregnant?” 

“Yes. And I’m leaving you.”

Next Chapter

Previous Chapter

Full Masterlist

#illumi #HunterXHunter #hxh #illumi x reader #a hunter's prey #chapter 28

[lov3nerdstuff]

Voluptas Noctis Aeternae {Part 2.2}

*Severus Snape x OC*

Summary: It is the year 1983 when the ordinary life of Robin Mitchell takes a drastic turn: she is accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Despite the struggles of being a muggle-born in Slytherin, she soon discovers her passion for Potions, and even manages the impossible: gaining the favor of Severus Snape. Throughout the years, Robin finds that the not quite so ordinary Potions Professor goes from being a brooding stranger to being more than she had ever deemed possible. An ally, a mentor, a friend... and eventually, the person she loves the most. Through adventure, prophecies and the little struggles of daily life in a castle full of mysteries, Robin chooses a path for herself, an unlikely friendship blossoms into something more, and two people abandoned by the world can finally find a home.

General warnings: professor x student (however no underage romance), blood, violence, trauma, neglectful families, bullying, cursing

Words: 5.2k

Read Part 1.1 here! All Parts can be found on the Masterlist!

______________________________

Robin ended up in front of his office even before breakfast was over. She hadn't been in the mood for sitting with anyone, and stuffing her face with enough toast and tea to last the day had taken no more than ten minutes. Thus she stood frozen in front of the wooden door with a deep frown, wondering if he was the kind of person who got mad over people being too early. He probably was… thus she sat down on the ground, leaning against the wall across from the door to wait another ten or fifteen minutes. Since he had so kindly let her know the previous night that she wouldn't be out of detention quite possibly until after dinner, she had actually put on a thick turtleneck jumper over her usual long sleeves. The dungeons were quite cold, especially now that it was nearing December, and even though she loved the place more than quite possibly any other inside the castle, she didn't want to be chilly the entire day. She frowned to herself suddenly, as the idea entered her mind that Professor Snape might be wearing so many layers of fabric all the time because he was down here all day, every day. He must feel quite cold in winter… Robin wondered if he preferred cold weather to warm weather just like she did, too.

"When will you learn to just knock?"

Robin startled at the all too familiar voice, and had to put her head all the way back into her neck to look up at him while seated on the ground like this. "Professor Snape! I… I didn't hear you coming…"

"Obviously." He sighed. "Get up, we have a lot of work to do."

Robin did as she was told and followed him into the office, still feeling incredibly small next to him even though she was standing straight now. Had she always been this short…? Well, duh… obviously. Robin cringed inwardly as she realized that she was picking up on his speech patterns now as well. Then again, it happened with everyone she actually wanted to get along with, no matter if peers, teachers or strangers.

"What exactly is it that one does in detention, sir?" She asked then, to give herself a change of topic as well.

He let out a small snort in return, then cleared his throat in a vain attempt to cover up for it somehow. "This isn't detention, Miss Mitchell."

"But you said-"

"And now I say that it is not." He glared at her for a moment, then pointed her towards her usual chair. "If someone ends up asking about it however, it very much is."

"So detention is our cover story." Robin concluded as she sat down and watched with surprise as he for once got his own chair out from behind his desk to place it directly across from hers, without the table in the way. "But for what exactly?"

"You came to me with a solution for your own problem already at hand last night, and while your means may have turned out to be unsuitable for the purpose, I intend to supply you with a more appropriate one. Do you understand?"

Damn, why did he always have to say things in the most complicated way possible?! Let's see… she had come with a solution… ah! "So… you're saying that you liked my idea to find some kind of thing that would counteract his spell?"

"I wouldn't quite go as far as to say 'liked', but generally, yes."

"And since you said there is no book or potion that can help me… we're talking about an act here?"

"No. We are talking about occlumency." His voice was harsh, and Robin immediately felt like she had done something wrong. However seeing as her face fell, his tone strayed back into neutral territory. "I will try to teach you to resist the external penetration of the mind. A day does not nearly suffice to learn, leave alone master this rare and difficult skill, but seeing as Professor Morgan isn't the most… accomplished wizard, maybe the basics will do for now."

Robin's eyes widened in honest surprise, astonishment and an overwhelming gratitude she couldn't even begin to express. A chance was all she could've hoped for, and here he was giving fuel to that hope. "Thank you, sir."

"Don't thank me. It is hard work to learn, and it certainly is going to be painful." He grumbled, but Robin didn't care. "It is nothing a second year student should even consider knowing about."

"And yet here we are…" Robin replied under her breath, but Snape ignored her and sat up straighter while keeping his gaze solely on her own.

"I understand your issues to lie with Professor Morgan rather than the magic itself, is that correct?" Once Robin nodded with an admittedly insecure frown, he continued. "In order to learn the art of occlumency, I will have to break into your mind, and you will try to resist. Do you understand that this is a serious invasion of your privacy?"

"Yes." She said, a little croaked, while trying to swallow down the lump in her throat. There was nothing she had to hide that he didn't already know about, really, there was no reason to be nervous. Only stupid childhood memories, fear and anxiety. Surely nothing he hadn't seen in other students before.

"Would you still like to proceed?"

"Yes." This time her reply came with more determination, and it indeed mirrored her sentiment. He was asking her permission for this, even though she had already once said that she wanted his help. He might not seem like the nicest or most trustworthy person to anyone else in the school or on the entire planet even, but if Robin trusted anyone in that moment, it was Severus Snape. "I want to learn this, professor, really. So just go ahead."

Without wasting any more time, he obviously quite gladly ignored the entire previous conversation and went straight into the topic. "I want you to clear your mind of every thought, every emotion, every memory. Keep your mind clear at all times, and do not. lose. focus." Once Robin nodded, he continued. "Closing your eyes should make it easier for a start. A direct gaze will make it easier for your opponent to enter your mind." Again, Robin nodded and closed her eyes like she had been instructed. "Prepare yourself, Miss Mitchell. This is not going to be pleasant."

Robin focused on keeping her mind blank, but how does one go about thinking not to think?! Was that even possible? Did it-

A startled gasp escaped her lips at the highly unpleasant, if not straight out torturous feeling of someone stabbing her conscience with a million needles, digging deeper and deeper into her brain. She let out a small cry, fingernails digging into the arms of her chair while her eyes remained squeezed shut in agony. In an instant the feeling was gone, leaving her breathless and confused.

"I told you it was painful." He said almost a little apologetically, but then his voice and expression shifted back to scolding. "And I told you to focus! Not to wail in fear and think about the nature of thinking!"

"Yes, sir…"

"Emotions are a weakness, a backdoor for people to use and manipulate you. Allow them to see your weakness and they will use it against you until your very demise. Protect your emotions. Shut them off." He explained entirely factually, before turning into command mode again. "Try again. And please, if that is not entirely impossible for you, focus!"

With a small nod Robin closed her eyes once more and took a deep breath. He was right, of course he was… she had to shut it all off. She had to try again. And again. And again.

… … …

They had been at it for hours already, and Robin hadn't gotten the least bit closer to accomplishing anything at all. She however did know now why Professor Snape had been so very insistent on her getting rest… this entire thing was beyond exhausting, and had she not been so very insistent on both learning the skill and not disappointing him, she would've given up before lunchtime.

Now however, an hour after dinner would've ended, she was still at it, and still trying to learn anything at all about bloody occlumency. Snape was scolding her half of the time and trying not to smack her the other half, and Robin could tell that he was growing increasingly impatient with her. Honestly, she couldn't even blame him for it. Her emotions and thoughts were all over the place, and the more worried she got about upsetting him, the worse she did in keeping him out of her mind. If he saw any of her worries and insecurities, he did remarkably well at not showing any reaction to it though.

"Come on, Mitchell! Are you even trying to resist?!" He snapped at her then, once again drawing her out of her thoughts.

"I am trying, sir!" Robin almost whined, fighting the tears in her eyes as she replied. "But the harder I try, the more difficult it gets…" It really was bloody ironic to think that the more she tried to suppress her emotions, the more desperately they came spilling out indeed. What the hell was she doing wrong?!

"I've seen muggles do better at this than you do…" He muttered more to himself than to her, fiddling with his sleeves in obvious frustration, and Robin thought she had never seen someone so young looking so old before. And it all was only her fault.

"I'm sorry…" She breathed as she looked down at her hands in her lap, still fighting the tears in her eyes in vain. He really didn't need to see even more of her being pathetically emotional.

"Don't be sorry. Be better." He replied in a surprisingly quiet voice that held no more scolding than Robin's did, and as twisted as it was, she knew that he was trying to encourage her. In his own weird way.

"I will." Robin said then, nodding her head to herself as if to make herself believe her own words. "Just… give me two minutes."

She needed reason, logic, a line to stand on to work from there. Reason… he certainly wouldn't tell her to be better if he didn't deem her capable of it. If he truly believed her to be as big of a dunderhead as he said he did, why would he still be here with her? Why would he spend his precious time on a goddamn weekend to teach her a skill she only needed because she was scared of another professor? He really must believe that she could do it. Maybe… it was time she started believing it for herself as well.

He had told her this morning to shut off her emotions, but her emotions had always run deeper than her mind's command. She couldn't simply shut them off, they were far too powerful for that. But she could do what she always did when they became too much: build a wall between her emotions and her reason. Separate her active mind from its core. That only left her mind to stay clear of superficial feelings and thoughts.

Feeling nothing, on the surface, was like feeling numb, wasn't it? And numbness she had a lot of experience with indeed. So instead of trying to feel nothing on the outside, to suppress what she did feel, Robin focused on the feeling of numbness she had grown more accustomed to ever since the start of term. Numbness was facts. Numbness was functioning without emotions

"Ready." She said, then released a slow and deliberate breath while closing her eyes, and waited for the needles in her brain to make her scream. But all she felt was a little prickle in the back of her head.

Mildly irritated, she opened her eyes to see if maybe he had stopped trying in the first place, but she only was met with the same intense gaze she had seen so many times before. The needles in her mind stung a little harder as she kept her eyes wide open, and she could tell that he saw her irritation. The question why it didn't hurt. Before she could help herself, she thought a quiet 'hello', even if only to test if it would work. The prickle in her mind stopped immediately, but Snape kept staring at her in surprise now.

"Was that… better?" Robin asked wearily as she dropped her internal wall, and the concern came right back. It hadn't hurt as much as before… but maybe she was growing numb to the pain too, and he would finally give up on her now.

"What did you do?" He asked in return, without answering her question in the first place.

"Uh, it's… I-I disconnected my brain from my emotions?" That sounded more like a suggestion than an answer, and thus she went on. "It's, uh… it's what I do when I feel too much, or when I don't want people to see how I truly feel. I know you said to shut off my emotions, and I really tried all day to do just that, but no matter what I did, I just… couldn't. So I tried it in my own way for once. If it didn't work, I'll stop, just tell me-"

"Do it again."

Robin barely had time to repeat her process of consciously disconnecting her actively processing brain from her emotions, memories and everything that made up her personality, before she felt the needles in her mind again. Or more precisely, a faint tingling in her brain. It wasn't all too unpleasant though, only little more than the very mild headache she got from focusing on keeping her wall up anyway, and thus Robin simply looked back at Professor Snape in the same manner as he was looking at her.

"Try thinking of an imagined scenario." He commanded then, focused but not menacing, and Robin followed his order immediately.

She thought of herself leaving the office, and walking up the spiral staircase, down the hallway past the many doors and towards the kitchen. She didn't really know what it looked like in there, so she made up a kitchen in her head, and how she snagged a piece of chocolate cake from a fridge. Then she dropped the scenario and focused back on the outside world, letting him see that she wondered what he was thinking now. The tingling in her mind stopped, but Robin found it difficult to shut off her numbness quite yet, so she simply stared at Snape while waiting for him to speak up first. He seemed to be doing the same however, and for a few minutes they both stared at each other in complete silence.

"Did you seriously have to imagine stealing chocolate cake?" He finally asked. "Or was that a memory?"

"I was feeling hungry. And I don't even know what the kitchen here looks like."

"Curious."

"Why?"

"Because I have known the real kitchens for a long time and yet did not doubt yours to be equally real."

"Is that good?"

"That would depend on the point of view. If one does consider your apparent talent for the subject to be 'good', then yes, that is good."

Robin's heart skipped a beat, and slowly her mind pieced itself back together in its normal ways. "I… I have a talent for it now?! You said literally five minutes ago that I was the biggest failure you had ever seen!"

Snape rolled his eyes and gave her a glare in feigned annoyance. "That was before you suddenly developed the ability to perfectly shield off entire parts of your mind!"

Robin's eyes widened at that and she found herself rather incredulous of what he was saying. "I actually shut you out completely?!"

"That you did."

"Wow…" She frowned to herself at first, then at him. "I don't know if that is even possible, but couldn't you simply try harder?"

Professor Snape scoffed at her remark, and rolled his eyes yet again. "Believe me, Miss Mitchell, what you did right there is all you will need to shut Professor Morgan out entirely."

"But…" Robin started, and only as he rose an eyebrow in question she allowed herself to continue. "I would like to know the limit of what you call 'talent'. Consider it practice, if you will. I just can't imagine that I could keep you out if you really tried to get into my mind, you know… I've only been able to do it twice, and you said it's a difficult skill to learn. I just can't imagine that I would be any good at it now, after a mere day of failing almost the entire time."

"Pride didn't suit you, Mitchell, but neither does exaggerated humbleness. But if you wish to test the limits, we will. It should be good practice indeed." With that he motioned for her to get ready, and sat up pin-straight.

The more Robin did this process of disconnection, consciously now instead of just by chance, the easier it became to do. More so than before, she focused on making her mind a mere mirror, a blank reflecting surface, before she looked Snape right back in the eye and nodded once. The feeling that followed was already a lot more intense, and Robin tensed up in return, which only worsened the unpleasant feeling inside her head.

"Relax, but focus." He reminded her as well, and Robin tried to consciously drop all stress from her body and mind. It lessened the discomfort for a moment, but he was quick to counter and soon Robin had to close her eyes to keep her barrier intact. It continued for roughly a minute, before finally she relented in both mental and physical exhaustion, causing him to come crashing into her brain like a bullet through rotten wood. The very moment he crossed her breaking point however, he stopped in an instant.

"Was that any good? Or did you not have to try at all?" Robin asked after a minute of silence, breathing a little more heavily than she would like in order to calm her heart and mind back down.

"Some would even say remarkably good." He mused, before he got up at last and moved his chair back to its rightful spot behind the desk. "I almost had to make an actual effort."

Robin scoffed, rolled her eyes, but couldn't help smirking nonetheless at his antics. "So you really think I'm good enough to keep Morgan out of my head?"

"Certainly." He sat back down, and folded his hands on the desk.

"Thank you." Robin gave him a smile, even if an exhausted one. "Really, I… You looked into my head, I'm sure you know how grateful I am."

"In fact, I do. Otherwise I would hardly have put up with you all day." He said absolutely neutrally, but upon Robin's slightly indignant look, the barely-even-there smirk just wouldn't stay off his face.

"I thought you did because you can't stand Professor Morgan either." She mused innocently, biting her bottom lip while her eyebrows rose. If he messed with her, she felt prone to return the favor.

The hard expression was back on his face in a second however, making it clear that the joking was over. "Do not believe for a moment that you know me or my intentions, Mitchell. I am obliged to take care of my students, however I would strongly advise you not to confuse my professional actions for my personal interests."

"Yes, sir. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to appear disrespectful." Robin apologized immediately, even if she didn't entirely believe his words. He didn't seem to believe them either, but it was one of the many things Robin knew better than to address by now. It was none of her business, after all. "Anyway, I'm very grateful for your help."

"Officially this never happened, Miss Mitchell, and you have never heard a word about occlumency."

"Of course. I had an absolutely dreadful day in detention today, counting beetle eyes and unicorn hairs, should anyone ask." Robin lied with an innocent smile. "And you scolded me the entire time for not paying enough attention."

"Good." The underlying amusement returned to his face, and Robin felt pleased with herself immediately. Somehow, she preferred to see him happy, or as close as he could get to that anyway.

"Still, thank you for today's 'detention'."

"You had the idea, made the plan and sought a course to action by yourself. And as it turned out, you also discovered your own way to acquire a new skill by yourself." He raised an eyebrow at her in mock-confusion. "I had absolutely no part in this."

"Of course not, sir." Robin bit the insides of her cheeks to keep from smiling. "I promise."

"Indeed, I merely caused you pain and made you forego dinner." With an almost bored looking expression, he got out a piece of parchment and wrote down something in that spidery cursive Robin actually quite enjoyed looking at by now. It had an oddly pleasant aesthetic, and just enough sense of familiarity to be comforting. Then he folded the paper three times and handed it to her. "You should find out what the kitchens look like. Ask the house elves to make you whatever you would like."

"But sir, it's two hours past curfew…"

"Hence the note. Whoever tries to stop you will have to answer to me from now on. I do not wish to be bothered every time you happen to be out past curfew."

"Thank you, sir." Robin finally had to smile again. "Would you… like anything from the kitchens?"

"Don't try to be kind to me, Miss Mitchell, it's not worth your efforts." He replied surprisingly coldly, and picked up another empty piece of parchment. "That would be all."

"Well, I'm sure you will hear about tomorrow's outcomes before I get to tell you myself…" Robin's smile reduced to a crooked one. "Whatever happens, I will deny that you had any part in it."

"Hmm."

"Goodnight, professor."

"Good luck, Miss Mitchell."

With a small but sincere smile, Robin closed the office door behind herself and breathed in the cool air of the hallway. Well, who knew that detention could last well over twelve hours? But then again, it never had been detention in the first place. It had been something much more valuable. When this morning she had been but a bloody damsel in distress, she now was fairly decent at the basics of occlumency. One couldn't really expect more of a day's worth of practice.

With an almost happy sigh, Robin made her way up the staircase and down the hallways. Walking around the dark castle after curfew was way more fun than she had expected, especially considering that she had even been explicitly told to do so. It really was odd… whenever she knew Professor Snape to be on her side, there was barely anything that could stop her. He might not see it like that in return, but Robin considered him to be her biggest ally. Her only ally, actually, but a great one nonetheless. She only wished that there was anything she could help him with in return, for once.

Just as she rounded the next corner and crossed into the kitchens' hallway, she almost literally ran into Professor McGonagall. Who else would be patrolling tonight, huh? It wasn't really that Robin didn't like the transfiguration professor, but ever since the incidents of last March, there had been a mutual distrust between them, an air of unease and insecurity at least on Robin's part. She couldn't tell if the professor liked or despised her at all.

"Miss Mitchell! Why am I not at all surprised to see you wandering the corridors past curfew yet again?" The professor sighed, and put her hands on her hips in resignation. "What is your excuse this time?"

"Detention." Robin shrugged, and handed her professor the folded piece of parchment without another word.

McGonagall shot her a frowning glance, then read over the note in silence while her lips however formed the words as she read nonetheless. Robin still didn't understand a word, but it made her curious. Only once her professor had reached the end of the note, she looked at Robin with wide eyes, then at the note, back at Robin, and finally folded the paper and handed it back to Robin with a strange look on her face. Without another word, she stepped around Robin and continued her patrol without wasting another word on her or the incident.

Robin looked at the note in her hand with a frown, then over her shoulder, at the professor slowly vanishing in the distant darkness, and back down the hallway to the kitchen. Odd… but she was still in need of something to eat, and thus she made her way into the kitchen at last. It was nothing like she had imagined it to look like, not worse nor better though. A little more crowded with house elves, perhaps, but also very nice for a functional room almost nobody ever got to see.

"How may we help you, Miss?" One of them asked as soon as Robin closed the door behind herself quietly and stepped further into the large room.

"Uh, good evening." Robin gave them a small smile, which they reluctantly returned. "I was told I could find something to eat up here."

"Oh, certainly, Miss!" Came the immediate reply. "What would you like to have?"

"Do you have chocolate cake?" Robin asked with a hopeful expression on her face, and the house elves seemed fairly amused at her question, however not in a condescending kind of way.

"Certainly, Miss. Is that what you would like to have?"

"Yes, please. That would be very kind of you." She gave them another smile, and some of them giggled self-consciously in return.

"May I ask you a question, Miss?" A female elf asked, while a general commotion arose all throughout the kitchen.

"Of course!"

"What makes you come here so late in the evening? We rarely have students coming to the kitchen, leave alone at this time of night!" The elf asked curiously, and one of her peers nudged her in the side in return, but she kept looking up at Robin.

"Oh, you see, I was with Professor Snape until now. In detention, I mean." She shrugged, and sat down on one of the tiny chairs while waiting for her sweet dinner to be prepared. She actually felt quite guilty for just waiting around… "Is there anything I can do to, uh, help you? Or… do anything for you in return?"

"No, Miss, it's our pleasure to serve you."

"If you say so…" Robin sighed reluctantly, and waited for the remainder of the preparations in silence. When at last a small but beautiful chocolate cake was placed in front of her, her eyes lit up in immediate excitement. "Thank you so much, it's just perfect!"

And while the house elves giggled or grumbled once more and went to clean up after themselves, Robin happily cut off and dug into a piece of her cake. She had about three quarters of it (seeing as it really was a fairly small cake) before she felt filled up at last, and absolutely ready to just fall into bed. However she also couldn't really resist the idea that plopped into her head, and smiled to herself as she turned to one of the house elves once more. "Excuse me, is it true that you can teleport anything in Hogwarts from one place to another?"

"Yes, Miss! It's how we serve your meals every day."

"So… If I politely asked you to send this piece of chocolate cake to Professor Snape, could you do that for me?"

"Certainly! Is that what you would like, Miss?"

"I would like that very much indeed." Robin grinned, and with a snap of the elf's fingers, the cake disappeared right in front of her eyes.

"There you go, consider it done."

"Thank you, I really appreciate that." She smiled down at him happily, before turning to the rest of them and bidding her goodnight to them all, which was followed by even more giggles and grumbles.

On her way back to her dorm, Robin ran into Professor McGonagall once more, but the teacher merely nodded at Robin once in acknowledgement before moving along. Odd… Robin once again wondered what Snape had written on that note. Once she was in her room and had gotten ready for bed as quietly as she could to not wake up the other girl –even if they would most definitely deserve it–, she finally decided to give in to her curiosity. Casting a quiet lumos under her covers, she slowly unfolded the parchment to avoid noise. She really wasn't supposed to read this… but her curiosity was stronger than her wish to follow nonsensical rules. The short and to the point note only contained one single sentence:

‘I hereby give Miss Robin Mitchell the permanent permission to freely move around the castle at any time she sees fit. - Professor Severus Snape’

Again, Robin couldn't help but smile. He really must trust her if he allowed her to break curfew… but then again, he had spent hours looking into her head today. He hadn't seen everything, not even close to it, but obviously it had sufficed to know that she wouldn't ever abuse the little trust he put in her now. Was he even allowed to do such a thing as allowing her to walk around at will? Professor McGonagall at least hadn't questioned it, and she was deputy headmistress… maybe it was just fine, then.

Robin folded the note back together to how it had been and then even smaller, before storing it away in her locket as well. Who knew when a permit such as this might come in handy? She definitely didn't want to lose it, even if only as a reminder of today's 'detention'. As she placed her wand on her nightstand and laid down under her covers in darkness at last, she realized that today might just have been the first time in over two years that she had continuously been around the same person for a longer period of time without the desperate wish to escape and be by herself. Funny, in over twelve hours she hadn't even once thought that his company bothered her… And even funnier was that the one person she didn't feel bothered by was also the one person that bothered absolutely everyone else.

______________________________

Tags:

@ayamenimthiriel @chibi-lioness @t-sunnyside @alex4555

General Tags:

@its-remy-not-ratatouille @wegingerangelica @dreary-skies-stuff @wiczer @lotus-eyedindiangoddess @theweirdlunatic @caretheunicorn @kthemarsian @lady-of-lies @strawberrysandcream @noplacelikehome77 @theoneanna @mishaandthebrits @i-am-a-mes @nonsensicalobsessions @exygon @hiddles-lobotomy @rjohnson1280 @annwhojumps @spookycatqueen @salempoe @headoverhiddleston @fanfiction-and-stress @createdfromblue @halszka-potter @thecreatiivecorner @themusingsofmany @kinghiddlestonanddixon @scorpionchild81 @crystal-28 @adefectivedetective @lokis-girl-in-mischief @booklover2929 @iamverity @lovesmesomehiddles @akk4rin @whitewolfandthefox @stuckupstucky

#snape #severus snape #snape x oc #severus snape x oc #young snape #snape fanfiction #professor snape #pro snape #snape x you #severus x oc #young severus #harry potter fanfic #harry potter fic #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter #Slytherin #Voluptas Noctis Aeternae

[caught-in-a-seesaw-stigma]

Map of the Soul, Chapter Four

For the @btswritingcafe​‘s Map of the Soul: 7 Workshop

Pairings: OT7 x reader (kinda); Taehyung x reader x Jimin

Series Summary: If you give a piece of yourself to everyone you love, at some point, there will be nothing left for yourself. While feeling lost and alone in your adult life, a strange box falls onto your head in your own closet, and you take an unexpected walk down memory lane wondering where everything went wrong.  Was it the romances that fizzled out, the friends & loved ones you left behind, the “what could’ve been” moments, the brush with Fate that never quite connected? Could the strange map you find have the answers you are looking for?  Determined to feel complete once again, you embark on a journey to reclaim the missing pieces of your soul.

Genre: Angst, Fluff, A Lot of Smut

Word Count: 7k+

Warnings: cursing & vulgar language, alcohol consumption, sexual innuendos, mentions of previous sexual encounters, bisexual behavior, fingering, oral sex (m/f receiving & giving), spanking, unprotected/protected sex (rules exist for a reason, be safe), daddy kink, a sliver of degradation, orgasm denial, cream pies, anal play/sex, double penetration

Chapter Four: Just Filter Out the Bad, Keep the Good

Oh, Kookie.

You rolled your eyes and giggled at your phone screen as the bartender finally walked over to you.

“Can I get another Jameson and Ginger?” you shouted over the music. “And another Long Island Iced Tea?”

The bartender nodded in acknowledgement and began making your drinks. It was the third time tonight you’d made your way to the bar, but you couldn’t really complain. You were having so much fun, and Taehyung had the crowd half in love with him with his charming stage presence and his smooth honeyed vocal stylings.

“Thank you,” Taehyung crooned over the microphone. “I’m going to take a little break, but I promise, I’ll be back.”

A round of disappointment resounded through the bar, and you rolled your eyes at the ridiculousness of it all. You caught Taehyung’s eye and he motioned that he was going to go to the bathroom. After a quick thumbs-up, you picked up your drinks and made your way back to your booth to wait for him.

Almost twenty minutes passed and the ice in your drink was clinking against the bottom.

Where the hell is he? Men’s bathrooms don’t take THAT long in bars.

Realizing that this modern bar might actually have gender neutral bathrooms, you decided to go off in search of your soulmate. After making your way past the crowded tables, you rounded the corner and saw there were only a few people waiting in line, none of them Taehyung. You waited a few minutes and the line moved, but none of the individuals exiting the single stall bathrooms were him either. Confused, you started walking back toward the bar.

A throaty groan caught your ear as you walked by a darkened hallway. In the dim red light of the Exit sign at the end of the hall, you made out the distinct shape of Taehyung’s shoulders hovering over a smaller individual against the wall. The two were completely unaware of your approach as they were obviously occupied with other things at the moment.

“Seriously, Tae,” you mused. “Ditching me for a pretty face? That’s a real dick move.”

“Look, sweetheart,” a wispy voice exhaled. “I saw him first, so I’m gonna need you to step off, alright?”

That voice…

You inhaled sharply, staggered back a few inches with your eyes wide, and clutched at the non-existent pearls on your neck.

“Jiminie?” you squeaked out.

The two men ceased their makeout session abruptly, and Taehyung stepped aside to reveal plush lips, bright red hair, and big brown eyes blown out in shock.

“Jagiya?”

March 20th, 11:17 pm

“This next song goes out to my gorgeous soulmate,” Taehyung chirped into the microphone. “I’ve loved her since the moment she fell from Heaven and crushed my head on the playground.”

A round of “awwww”s reverberated across the bar, and you rolled your eyes at Taehyung and blew him a kiss. The music started up again and Taehyung went into full Elvis mode.

“Wise men say only fools rush in, But I can't help falling in love with you…”

“Wow,” Jimin groaned sensually. “Does his voice always sound like liquid sex poured over hot coals?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact,” you quipped. “Taehyung has a very special relationship with the microphone. They’ve been going steady for decades, but he’s always too cowardly to commit.”

“What do you mean, jagi?” Jimin grinned. “Does he not realize how good he is?”

“Oh, he knows,” you corrected him. “He just can’t handle the spotlight very well. In a bar, he’ll get brave, but put him on an actual stage with a real crowd, and he becomes an awkward mess of a man. It’s a mystery.”

“You’re kidding,” Jimin scoffed. “There’s no way that gorgeous hunk of man over there is ever awkward.”

“You’d be surprised,” you chuckled. “I know that man better than he knows himself.”

“I was pretty close to getting to know him myself,” Jimin bragged. “Someone just had to interrupt our steamy little makeout session back there.”

“Don’t flatter yourself, Jimin,” you goaded. “Sure, you may have captured his attention, but he’d never really ditch me for another pretty face, including yours.”

“I don’t know, jagiya,” Jimin smirked. “Before you showed up, I already had him asking how far away my place was.”

“That may be so,” you smiled wickedly. “But I guarantee he wouldn’t ditch me. One look and he would be crawling back to me without question.”

You and Jimin stared one another down and your eyes battled it out for dominance. You sighed sweetly and blew a kiss to Taehyung, and he eagerly snatched out of the air and placed it in his lapel pocket. Jimin rolled his eyes at your dual displays of affection and chuckled.

That’s right. No one comes between me and my soulmate.

“So, what brings you back to town, Jiminie?” you giggled, changing the subject. “Let me guess, another frat party?”

“Yes, actually, I’m here for the fraternity’s centennial celebration,” he explained. “We had a whole ceremony and raffle fundraiser last night, and the house party is tonight.”

“I’m surprised you aren’t there now,” you gawked. “The Park Jimin I remember never missed an opportunity for a good frat party.”

Jimin giggled and ran his fingers through his hair, an old habit that always increased his allure. He leaned over and placed his hand on your thigh, provoking a rolling plain of goosebumps across your arms and legs.

“I’m not the same Jimin you remember, jagi,” he murmured while licking his lips. “A lot of things changed since we last saw each other. When was that, by the way?”

A bitter memory triggered in your brain and you gently pushed him away, free from his hypnotic seduction. Confusion traveled across his face and he cocked a questioning look at you, lifting an eyebrow for emphasis.

“It was during grad school,” you reminded him. “The Venetian Masquerade Homecoming party at your frat house?”

Jimin closed his eyes briefly and nodded gravely as the memory hit him as well. There was a tangible shift in his personality, and you knew Jimin was trying to figure out how to proceed.  He was an expert at tailoring his personality to fit the situation, but he seemed at a loss when you reminded him of the troubled past. You both sat there in silence, allowing the details to take shape in your mind once again. Taehyung chose that exact moment to intrude upon your conversation.

“Hey,” he shouted. “Who’s up next?”

Jimin glanced over to Taehyung and gave him a tight smile.

“I guess I am,” Jimin offered. “Any requests?”

“Sing me something sweet,” Taehyung pleaded. “I want my heart to burst with emotion.”

Jimin winked at Taehyung and glanced over to see if you’re looking at him. You were not. As Jimin headed over to the booth to choose a song, Taehyung pulled you close and wrapped his arm around your shoulders.

“What’s going on, ttalgi?” he teased lightly. “I’d know that angsty look of yours anywhere. Are you and Jimin-ssi reliving painful memories from college?”

“Something like that,” you muttered “We didn’t exactly end on good terms the last time.”

“How so?” he recoiled. “Every time you’ve mentioned him in the past, it was always with glowing reviews of his sexual prowess. I’ve never once heard you say one bad thing about him.”

“Tae,” you grimaced. “Have you really never noticed that I stopped talking about Jimin a long time ago? Like almost 6 years now?”

“No,” Taehyung said carefully. “Why? Did he do something to hurt you?”

Taehyung stiffened against you as he shot a glare in Jimin’s direction. You were quick to calm the raging Papa Bear beside you. Taehyung was always quick to defend your honor, but it wasn’t necessary in this case.

“It’s not that simple, babe,” you sighed in defeat, lifting your eyes to stare longingly at Jimin. “We hurt each other...badly.”

“Hello, everyone,” Jimin announced on the microphone. “I’m Jimin, and I’m an asshole. That’s not a lie either. I hurt someone who is very special to me, and I never apologized. Because of that, I lost her and I don’t know if I’ll ever get her back and that sucks. Because I really care about her a lot and I just want us to be friends again because she’s amazing and I miss her. Jagiya, this song is for you.”

A powerful boom pumped through the speakers and Jimin began singing “Before I Cry” by Lady Gaga.

“I can't believe the things you said Right now I wish that you would try Try to stay near me Try to be near me”

“Oh damn, babe,” Taehyung breathed out in a rush. “He broke out A Star is Born? Bold move.”

Your eyes glistened as you concentrated on Jimin’s gaze, which never once wavered from your own. He was singing directly to you, and everyone else in the room just faded away. The delicate lilt of his voice was mesmerizing, and you braced yourself for the chorus, knowing he would be unleashing the full extent of his vocal power on you.

“'Cause I'm gonna cry If you say you don't need me I'm gonna cry if you act like you don't care Promise me, baby, you know I can't fake it Why don't you hold me? Tell me you love me before I cry”

You took note of the gloss covering his eyes after that last big note. He continued to sing, his heart pouring waves of regret and longing over you. His hands reached out for you emphatically as the song progressed and after he hit the last big chorus, he stepped off the stage to sing the last verse. With every step he took, he walked closer and closer to your booth until he was kneeling in front of you and reaching for your hand.

“Have I said what I needed to say? Have you said what you wanted to say? Did you say what you wanted to say? Would you try and stop me before I cry?”

The music stopped and you sucked in a sob before launching yourself into his arms. Jimin stood up and lifted you off the ground in a crushing hug. The room exploded into thunderous applause and they cheered loudly when you pulled back and kissed Jimin on his full lips. He released you and you brushed away the tears trailing down his chubby cheeks. He smiled brightly at you and then remembered he still had the microphone in his hand.

“Oh, thank you,” he laughed in embarrassment. “I guess that worked pretty well, huh? Who’s next?”

Jimin handed off the microphone to the next singer and you pulled him back into the booth with you. Taehyung was leaning on his fists while shooting heart eyes at Jimin who countered with his own half-moon eye smile.

“Jagiya,” Jimin said, turning to face you properly. “I really am sorry for what I did. I never meant to hurt you.”

“It wasn’t only your fault, Minnie,” you responded sweetly. “I said some pretty fucked up things to you that night also. Can you ever forgive me?”

“So, is anyone going to tell me what the fuck is going on?” Taehyung interrupted rudely. “All I seem to understand is that you fucked up, you stopped talking, and now you’re making up. Can someone please fill in the blanks?”

You and Jimin giggled at Taehyung’s flabbergasted expression and decided to take pity on him.

“Jimin and I were supposed to go to a masquerade ball together a while back,” you began. “We even got matching costumes.”

“We were never officially a couple, but people just knew we had a special relationship,” Jimin continued. “But it didn’t stop us from playing the field.”

“However,” you cut him off. “That night, we’d agreed to stick together for once. No one else, just us.”

“Oh shit, I see where this is going,” Taehyung squealed. “Sorry, you were saying?”

“Anyway,” you sighed. “We were doing fine until the jello shots started circulating. You know I can’t resist a good jello shot and neither can Jimin.”

Taehyung nodded enthusiastically, and Jimin pulled you closer to his chest, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“I caught her making out with some hot cheerleader in the kitchen,” Jimin explained. “So I got mad and pulled her away.”

“In my defense,” you countered. “I had just seen you nibbling on that guy’s ear on the patio.”

“You were the one giving that guy a lap dance on the couch,” Jimin shot back.

“Only because you grabbed that girl’s ass on the way to the bathroom,” you spat.

“Yo,” Taehyung cut in. “I get it. You guys are stupid competitive and extremely jealous. Continue the story.”

You and Jimin both laughed at Taehyung’s outburst.

“We ended up having a full on public shouting match in the front yard of the frat house,” you sighed. “Not gonna lie. It got pretty ugly.”

“People thought we were having an actual breakup,” Jimin scoffed. “After we said some pretty nasty things to each other, I got mad and told her to leave the party.”

“He disappeared into the frat house,” you muttered sadly. “The last thing I saw was him pulling some guy and girl into a back room. He flipped me off before he slammed the door in my face.”

“Nothing happened,” he explained. “I just wanted to piss her off. When I left the room a few minutes later, they told me she’d left in tears. I felt like shit about it, but I was still pissed. I got blackout drunk and woke up under the kitchen table in my underwear.”

“Sounds like a good party,” Taehyung giggled. “So what happened after that?”

“I left back home,” Jimin said. “I didn’t apologize because I thought it was her fault.”

“And I didn’t apologize because I thought it was his fault,” you continued. “We haven’t spoken or seen each since then, at least until tonight. We were so fucking stupid. It’s not like we were dating or anything.”

“Yeah, you two should never date,” Taehyung declared. “Look at how horrible you were to each other. That shit would get toxic real quick.”

You and Jimin looked back at one another and he placed a kiss on your forehead. You both sighed and hugged it out once again.

“You’re probably right, Tae-bear,” you admitted. “It just sucks that we weren’t able to fix things back then. I feel like we lost out on so much.”

“I’m willing to do a hard reset if you are, jagi,” Jimin suggested. “I really have missed you. Want to be friends again? We can just erase everything that was bad and just focus on the good stuff and all the fun times we had.”

You rolled the idea over in your mind and then an idea struck you. You promptly scooted him out of the booth, and with a wide smile spreading across your face, you grabbed onto his hands.

“Let’s do our song,” you cheered. “That way it’s really official!”

“Oh, jagiya,” Jimin pouted. “I’m definitely filing that under bad stuff. Besides, you know I can’t perform without the proper attire. There is only one way you’ll get me to sing that song, and I seriously doubt you have what I need.”

“Oh my gods,” you huffed out in bewilderment. “No fucking way.”

“I’m sorry, jagi” he teased. “You know my rule: no sequins, no song.”

You crawled over the table and grabbed your clutch from next to Taehyung. You reached inside and pulled out the gold sequined bow tie and held it up for Jimin to see. He blanched at the sight and the shock on his face was tangible.

“Where the fuck did you find that thing?” Jimin spat. “I thought I burned that in the bonfire!”

“I have no idea,” you grinned triumphantly. “But you owe me a song now, sir. Let’s go, 가자!”

You pulled the bow tie over Jimin’s head and adjusted it. He grimaced and whined as you pulled him over to the booth to fill out the song request. You both grabbed a microphone and you pushed a very reluctant Jimin onto the stage.

“Hello, everyone,” you greeted sweetly. “I brought this adorable gentleman up here for one more song. Wasn’t he just lovely earlier?”

Everyone applauded and Taehyung stood up to whistle and whoop like a crazed fan. You beamed at Jimin who gave you the fakest petty smile he could muster. You leaned up to kiss him on the cheek and he gritted out a faint, but spiteful “I fucking hate you” under his breath. You winked at him cheekily and poked your tongue out in response.

A series of electronic snare drums snapped and synthesizer beats popped out of the speakers and an exuberant “Yeah” and “Woo” filled the air as Whitney Houston’s “I Wanna Dance with Somebody” kicked off.

You and Jimin switched off every other line like a proper duet, and the crowd was eating it up. You alternated little dance moves around each other with cute poses, and you even pulled his arms around you during the chorus, which of course, everyone sang with you.

When the song was done, you both received a standing ovation from the entire bar, and even the bartender applauded enthusiastically. When you finally made your way back to the booth, a waitress showed up with a round of fruity red shots called Washington Red Apples, courtesy of the elated bartender.

“Well,” you cooed at the grumpy Jimin next to you. “That is definitely the best friendship renewal I’ve ever been a part of. Can you even think of a better way to make up than that?”

“I know a better one,” Taehyung remarked with a smirk.

You and Jimin looked up at each other and then at Taehyung. The devilish look on his face transferred onto Jimin’s and then made its way onto your own. You took the shot glass between your fingers and held it out to propose a toast.

“To renewed friendships,” you grinned. “Among other things.”

You all clinked your glasses and downed your shots. It only took a second after for everyone to take action.

“Tae-bear,” you purred. “Close out our tab. Jimin and I will meet you in the car.”

March 21st, 1:07am

The drive back to your apartment was a blur, a steamy blur full of well placed kisses, hot visuals, and a plethora of wandering hands.

After Taehyung pried you off of Jimin’s lap in the back seat, he handed you the keys and ordered you to drive since you were the only one who knew how to get to your apartment. In the meantime, Jimin was pulled onto Taehyung’s lap in the backseat and you were treated to quite a show in your rear view mirror. The moans and groans emanating from the backseat were causing quite a stir in your panties. In fact, the thin material was noticeably sticking to your dripping folds as you parallel parked the car in front of your apartment building.

“Everyone out,” you barked. “Let’s go!”

The two entwined bodies groaned at your command, and refused to move out of the backseat. Beyond aggravated, you leaned in and grabbed onto both heads of hair and pulled back harshly. Both men whined and moaned lightly, but both also knew better than to pull away from your claws. You knew both of their kinks to the letter, and pain was at the top of the list.

That’s right, boys. I’m in charge here.

“I said,” you growled. “Let’s go.”

They quickly exited the vehicle as soon you released them, and all three of you hastily made your way inside of your apartment, promptly locking the door behind you.

The dogs had been walked and fed before you’d left the apartment, so they briefly greeted you at the door, and then huffed out snorts of derision at your choice of nighttime activities.

Jimin got excited when he saw Oberyn and Yeontan, but you and Tae were quick to pull him back into the fold, promising proper introductions later.

Much later.

After a flurry of clothing and shoes tossed from the front entrance to your bedroom floor, you found yourself completely naked and standing at the edge of your bed wedged between two deliciously sweaty naked men who were pressing open mouth kisses all over your body. You could barely differentiate between Taehyung’s playful nibbles and Jimin’s soft suckling against your skin. In perfect synchronization, Taehyung and Jimin latched on to opposing sides of your neck, drawing an impatient moan from your lips.

That’s definitely gonna leave a mark.

Jimin pulled you back slightly and kneeled between you and Taehyung, gripping his hands onto each of your thighs for balance.

“Allow me,” he hummed. “After all, I am a guest in your home.”

With fluid precision, Jimin grasped a hold of Taehyung’s throbbing cock and began stroking it from tip to hilt while simultaneously pulling your swollen clit between his lips. You and Taehyung let out gasping moans in unison while holding onto each other for support.

“Didn’t I tell you the man had talent, Tae?” you hummed. “Ah, Jimin…”

You couldn’t even start your next sentence because Jimin was slipping his tongue into your folds and lapping up every drop of essence collecting between your thighs. Taehyung gaped at the sight while trying not to blow his load over Jimin’s skillful ministrations.

“Holy fuck, babe,” he groaned. “You totally undersold him. He’s like some kind of wicked little sex fairy.”

Jimin giggled against your slippery folds before placing a fat kiss on top of your clit. He sat back on his heels and pursed his glistening lips at Taehyung.

“Sucking dick doesn’t make me a fairy, Taehyung,” he teased. “But I guarantee it will feel magical when I get that fat cock between my lips.”

Switching it up, Jimin plunged two fingers into your hungry hole while licking a long wet stripe up the front of Taehyung’s girthy length. Your eyes locked onto Jimin’s bouncing red hair as he sucked on Taehyung’s dick like a juicy popsicle. Neither his fingers nor his tongue slowed their actions as Jimin turned both of you into hot moaning messes.

“Jimin...ah...baby,” you whimpered. “We need to get horizontal before I fall. My legs are...ah...about to give out.”

Taehyung slid his hand down your side to steady your waist, but found it difficult to concentrate with Jimin’s never-ending onslaught of pleasure. You could see Taehyung’s eyes rolling back in pleasure each time Jimin lowered his head onto his crotch. The erotic sight only spurred your arousal forward, leaking all over Jimin’s fingers as he artfully fingered you.

“Tae,” you whispered. “I can’t...ah...I can’t hold...ah…”

You couldn’t even form coherent sentences at that point because not only was Jimin curling and dragging his fingers along your G-spot, he was also brushing against your clit with every stroke. It was heavenly, but also sent you tumbling forward into oblivion without anything to hold you up.

Taehyung took mercy on you and grabbed a hold of Jimin’s scarlet locks. After pulling Jimin’s mouth further down his length a few times, he pulled his wicked little sex fairy off his dick and to his feet.

“My soulmate needs a bed,” Taehyung gritted out. “Now.”

“Flattering,” Jimin chirped while licking his lips. “But we’ve only just met, Taehyung. Don’t you think soulmate is a bit much?”

Taehyung seized Jimin’s head and devoured his lips, while still holding you up. After a clash of teeth and tongue, Taehyung pulled Jimin’s bottom lip between his teeth and bit down harshly. Jimin’s aching whimper drew your attention, but you struggled to focus on anything with Jimin’s fingers pumping into you.

“I wasn’t talking about you, Jimin,” Taehyung growled. “I was talking about her.”

Jimin offered Taehyung a mischievous smirk and nodded coyly. He motioned for Taehyung to get behind you as he focused all of his attention and energy on you. They eased you onto the bed keeping you on your knees, and your legs were happy to oblige the shift in balance. Jimin pulled you closer and licked his way into your mouth and you began attacking his lips with your own. He swallowed each whine and moan as his fingers began to pick up speed.

Taehyung took this opportunity to kneel behind you and run his hands over the globes of your ass, relishing the plumpness in the dim lamplight.

“How does your ass always look this perfect, ttalgi?” he mused. “It’s extraordinary, and totally unfair.”

He reared his palm back and brought it down firmly against one cheek and then the other. With each spank, you cried out wantonly, much to the delight of both men.

“She loves it when you spank her,” Jimin chuckled. “This vixen loves pain.”

“I know,” Taehyung shot back after delivering yet another smack to your ass. “She’s my soulmate. It’s my job to know these things.”

“Oh yeah?” Jimin quipped. “You think you know more than I do? I’ve probably made her cum more times than you have.”

“It’s not about quantity, Jiminie,” Taehyung bragged. “It’s about quality.”

Taehyung punctuated his statement with one last slap across your reddening cheek and then leaned against your back. He cupped both of your breasts and began pulling at alternating nipples, loving the throaty moans you emitted with each tug. You started rubbing your ass against his hardened length, and Jimin chased after your creamy center, determined to regain your attention.

“She needs multiple stimuli,” Taehyung explained while leaning forward to pull your earlobe between his teeth. “She’s a dirty girl who wants everyone to touch her, to feel her, to own her, isn’t that right, ttalgi?”

Your moans were reaching a fever pitch, and Taehyung knew what you needed to hear to reach the apex of your climax.

“Come on, baby,” he purred against the shell of your ear. “Be a good girl and let Daddy hear you scream.”

The knot of pleasure in your core tightened sharply and snapped. You cried out as the orgasm quaked across your body in a frenzy, the sensations more pronounced in the areas where you were being touched. Your nipples tingled, your clit pulsed, and your ears were ringing.

You collapsed back against Taehyung’s chest and let out a blissful sigh of satisfaction. You opened your eyes when you heard a wet noise near your face and got an eyeful of Taehyung licking your essence from Jimin’s fingers.

“Mmmm delicious as always, babe,” Taehyung swooned. “You have no idea how good you taste, do you?”

“How good?” you giggled.

“Exquisite,” Jimin hummed after licking the remnants from Taehyung’s lips. “I seriously missed that flavor on my tongue, jagiya. It’s only gotten better with age.”

“Right?” Taehyung expressed with a boxy grin. “I was going to say that too!”

The two of them high-fived and you groaned at their childish behavior.

“If you two assholes are just going to sit there and call me old while high-fiving, I’m so fucking done,” you spat. “I got mine already.”

You tried to move away from them, but they both moved swiftly to pull you back into their arms with a whine.

“Where do you think you’re going, dirty girl?” Taehyung teased while grinding his still hard cock against your ass. “You aren’t done until we say you are.”

“And we are far from done, jagi” Jimin promised. “How about we change things up a bit?”

They laid you back on the mattress and you stretched out your limbs, trying to shake the tension out of your muscles. Taehyung reached into your side table to pull out the box of condoms he knew you had. Jimin pressed his body against yours, trailing his fingertips from your neck down to your hip. You both looked up at Taehyung when he cleared his throat.

“Ok, ttalgi,” he began. “Are we sticking to our usual rules with Jimin here? It’s your call.”

“What are the usual rules?” Jimin asked. “She and I only had two rules: wear a condom and be honest about what we liked or didn’t like.”

“We have something similar, but with variations,” Taehyung explained. “Condoms for any assplay, colors for safewords, consent is always confirmed, aftercare is mandatory, and open, honest communication.”

“Condoms only for assplay?” Jimin gulped. “What about vaginal play?”

“I have my birth control implant,” you told Jimin while pointing out the spot on your arm. “Taehyung and I have always been vigilant about staying clean and we get tested every other month, even when we aren’t sexually active.”

“So, I guess the question we have is,” Taehyung expressed kindly. “What about you, Jimin? What do you want to do?”

Jimin sat up on one elbow and shifted his doe eyes between you and Taehyung. He couldn’t believe what you were offering.

“Jagi,” he breathed out. “We’ve never gone bare...like ever. I’ve never gone bare with anyone actually.”

“I know, Jiminie,” you expressed tenderly. “I’ve only ever trusted Tae-bear with something like that. But I know how careful you are, and I’m sure that hasn’t changed. If you’re comfortable with it, then I’m willing to trust you as well.”

You reached up to cup his cheek and he leaned in and kissed your palm gingerly with his swollen lips. He closed his eyes and let out a shaky exhale.

“Nothing’s changed,” he finally responded. “I’m still careful, I still get tested, and I’m still clean. If you really trust me, then I trust you too.

He pressed a chaste kiss on your lips and sat up to pull Taehyung in for a kiss as well.

“I trust both of you,” Jimin proclaimed. “I know I just met you, Taehyung, but if my jagiya trusts you with something like this, then who am I to argue with her logic?”

Taehyung smiled at Jimin’s words and reached over to stroke your cheek affectionately. You all took a deep breath as the electricity in the air increased exponentially. The soft caresses on skin transformed into overzealous gropes, and the quiet exhales became heated moans and needy whines. You decided to take the lead this time and climbed onto Jimin’s chest, asking for permission to ride his face, to which he quickly consented. As you settled over his ravenous lips, Taehyung instigated a rather noisy blowjob behind you, pulling Jimin’s angry red tip between his lips and slurping at the precum spilling over the edge.

“Fuck,” Jimin gasped out beneath you. “You couldn’t give me a warning, Tae?”

“Do you want me to stop?” Taehyung pouted. “Just say the word, Jiminie.”

“No, please don’t stop,” Jimin begged. “Keep going.”

You looked back over your shoulder and grinned wickedly at Taehyung. The smirk on his handsome face was mesmerizing, and you returned it in kind. You lowered your soaking wet heat to Jimin’s lips once again as Taehyung swirled his tongue around Jimin’s girthy penis.

Jimin inhaled sharply through his nose and moaned out into the flooded depths of your vagina. He dug his nails into your hips and you cried out erotically. For every lick and suck Taehyung unleashed upon him, Jimin paid it forward to your gushing center.

“Jimin,” you moaned. “I’m getting close.”

Taehyung slapped his palm against Jimin’s thigh, causing him to hiss and moan into your drenched thigh.

“What was that for?” Jimin protested.

“Don’t let her cum yet, Jiminie,” Taehyung instructed. “Let’s see how far we can edge her out.”

You whipped your head around to glare at Taehyung’s smug face and scowled deeply at him. He knew you hated edging, but he also knew that you came especially hard when edged. You pouted at him and he cocked an eyebrow at you before pulling off of Jimin’s dick with an audible pop.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, babe,” Taehyung relented. “But I promise it will feel amazing if you let it happen.”

He winked at you playfully and you couldn’t resist the boxy grin he shot your way before diving back onto Jimin’s glistening cock. You watched him dip and twist his mouth up and down Jimin’s stiff shaft, even dragging his tongue below the base and flicking along Jimin’s scrotum. Jimin was quickly unraveling underneath Taehyung’s expert skills, and he suddenly lost his concentration on you when Taehyung started licking lower between his legs.

“Ttalgi, come here, quickly,” Taehyung commanded.

You released your hold on the wall and dismounted Jimin’s face, which was contorting into a mask of pure pleasure thanks to Taehyung. He started stroking Jimin’s shaft in time with his tongue barrage.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Jimin moaned out. “I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum.”

“Do you want to cum inside her, Jiminie?” Taehyung cooed. “Want this dirty girl to sink down on this hard cock and soak up your hot sticky load?”

Jimin couldn’t verbalize anything, but he nodded desperately and started flailing his arms in search of you. Taehyung positioned you just above Jimin’s dick and held you in place.

“When I say sit, babe,” Taehyung quirked. “Sit down and ride him into his orgasm, ok?”

“I’m ready, Tae-bear,” you agreed wholeheartedly. “Just tell me when.”

After a few more strokes, Jimin’s hands clenched against the sheets and he threw his head back harshly.

“NOW,” Taehyung commanded while lowering you safely onto Jimin’s lap.

As soon as your thighs connected with Jimin’s, he let out a cry of unbridled passion and thrusted up into you like a madman possessed. His eyes were blown wide and he couldn’t stop pulling you onto his dick even as he shot out jets of cum, painting your walls in white. The sexual tempest finally abated and Jimin slumped against the pillows and let out a long audible breath laced with amusement.

“Holy shit,” he exclaimed. “That has to be the most incredible sensation in the world. Jagiya, why have I never plunged into your Cave of Wonders bareback before?”

“Because we were both busy being responsible adults, Aladdin,” you quipped. “Or maybe I should call you Genie since Tae referred to you as a magical sex fairy.”

“He can call me whatever he wants if I’m going to get this kind of treatment,” he giggled. “But, I’m worried about him, jagi. He hasn’t been given proper attention just yet. We should really help him out, don’t you think?”

You chuckled and pulled yourself off of Jimin then propped yourself up on all fours, wiggling your ass slightly to entice Taehyung forward. He shook his head and eased onto the bed behind you. He reached between your legs to see if you needed additional lubrication, but the deluge he slipped into told him you were more than ready.

“Look at this mess you two made,” he commented in astonishment, while licking the combined cum from his fingertips. “Just like a creamsicle on a hot summer day.”

Taehyung slid the blunt head of his stiff cock along the crease of your sopping wet pussy and then slowly pushed his way in. He groaned as each inch disappeared from sight and he gave a small thrust to fit the last few inches snugly inside. You whimpered at the stretch and lifted your head to meet Jimin’s amused stare.

“What a naughty girl we have here, Tae,” Jimin cooed. “All stuffed full of cock and she still looks like she wants more. Should I give you more, jagiya?”

When all you could do was whimper weakly at Jimin’s entreaty, so Taehyung pulled your hair back and thrust forward sharply. Jimin was enthralled by the fucked out look on your face and leaned forward to lick into your open mouth.

“Jiminie asked you a question, ttalgi,” he hissed in your ear. “Don’t disappoint Daddy and ignore our guest. Now, do you want more cock or not?”

“Yes,” you begged desperately against Jimin’s plushy lips. “Want him in my mouth, Daddy. Can I? Please?”

Jimin chuckled at your pleas and leaned over to lure Taehyung into another heated kiss.

“Daddy kink, huh?” Jimin teased as he pulled away. “That’s a new one for me.”

“It only works when I do it,” Taehyung grunted. “You can call me Daddy too, if you like?”

“We’ll see how I feel later,” Jimin smirked. “For now, let’s stuff this naughty little slut full of cock.”

Taehyung picked up the pace as he pistoned his aching dick deep into your womb. Jimin stroked his own cock until he had half an erection and then ran the tip across your lips.

“Open up, jagi,” Jimin crooned sweetly. “I’ve got a treat for you.”

You eagerly opened wide and allowed Jimin to place his hands on your head to hold you in place while he fucked into your mouth. You hollowed your cheeks and slurped him down until he was hard and quivering against your tongue.

“Ah, fuck yes,” Jimin squealed. “Just what I needed. Thanks, jagi.”

Jimin pulled out of your mouth and you whined in protest. He brushed the saliva from your lips and planted a fat kiss on them before disappearing from your sight.

Taehyung took your distraction as an opportunity to pull you up against his chest so he could play with your clit as he fucked up into you. He read your impending orgasms carefully and pulled back each time the crest threatened to break across your threshold. He appeased your adorable tear-streaked face with sweet promises of “the best orgasm of your life.”

“You have to trust me, babe,” Taehyung sneered against your wet cheeks. “You’ll thank me when you fall over that edge, I promise.”

You were about to whine out another protest when Taehyung clenched against you unexpectedly.

“Oh, fuck,” he hissed against your temple. “You wicked little fucker. I should’ve kept an eye on you.”

“Yeah, you should have,” came Jimin’s voice from behind Taehyung. “I’m a sneaky bitch, did I forget to mention that?”

Jimin had sprung a sexy sneak attack with two lubed fingers currently seeking entrance at Taehyung’s back door. Taehyung released you back onto all fours so he could grant Jimin better access to his ass. He slowed his movements just long enough for Jimin to work his dick into Taehyung’s now well lubricated asshole. With all three of you connected, it took a moment or two to find a definitive rhythm together, but once you did, the fluid movements initiated a series of high pitched squeals and moans unlike any you’d heard before. Taehyung felt your walls clamping down into his dick and he gathered up enough focus to make an erotic suggestion.

“Jimin, wait,” he huffed out on a moan. “Let’s change positions. As much as I’m enjoying this, there’s something I want to try now that we have you here.”

Jimin pulled back and waited for Taehyung to continue. With a flick of his wrist, Taehyung reached over and gently pulled the condom off Jimin’s dick and smirked sinfully.

“I’ve never trusted anyone enough to double penetrate her,” Taehyung explained quickly. “Get inside her cunt and let me get a condom on.”

“Oh, shit,” Jimin gasped. “You’re fucking serious, aren’t you?”

“You bet your fine ass, I’m serious,” Taehyung gritted out while rolling on the condom. “This dirty little girl is about to blow and so am I. Daddy owes her the orgasm of a lifetime and he’s going to give it to her.”

You were just catching your breath, and you whimpered at the tightness in your clit.

“Guys, if I don’t cum soon, I’m going to fucking explode,” you growled. “So unless you want me to take care of this by myself, I suggest you get over here and finish the fucking job.”

“Oooh, jagi is feisty when she’s frustrated,” Jimin cackled. “I’ve never edged her, so this should be fun to watch.”

“I’m giving you a front row seat, Jiminie,” Taehyung beamed as he laid down beside you. “Enjoy the show.”

Jimin helped rearrange your body so that you were wedged in between them on the bed. After lifting up one of your thighs, Jimin slipped his bare cock into your swollen cunt, reveling at the raw feeling of your fleshy walls tightening around his dick. You were so wet and slippery that even Taehyung was surprised that he wouldn’t need much lube to get your asshole ready for him.

“I love it when she’s this strung out and horny,” he chuckled. “Makes it so easy for me.”

With a little help from Jimin’s fingers, Taehyung slipped beyond your puckered hole and buried himself into the glorious tightness of your ass. With both of your holes now occupied, you found yourself adrift in a sea of endorphins. The finish line was just beyond your sight and you cried out as you felt both cocks sliding across the thin membrane separating your cunt from your asshole.

“Tae,” you whimpered helplessly. “Jimin...please...I need you.”

“We’re right here, ttalgi,” Taehyung soothed. “Just let go. I’m not going to hold you back anymore. Just let it flow right through you.”

Jimin slipped his fingers down to rub against your clit and the combined sensations hurtled into your brain all at once.

“OH FUCK!” you screamed as you careened over the edge of your climax and tumbled into one spasm and after another, losing track of just how many orgasms Taehyung had stacked up for you throughout the course of the night. When the last one hit, your vision cleared just enough to catch Jimin’s awed facial expression as he watched you come undone. The glazed look in your eyes triggered his own climax and he shot another rope of sweet release deep into your quivering heat.

“Babe,” Taehyung grunted behind you, still pumping away. “I’m really fucking close. Where do you want it?”

You smiled wickedly and pulled Jimin close. He was still reeling from his last orgasm, but he offered you a small smile, wordlessly agreeing to whatever your face was suggesting.

“On our faces,” you moaned. “Cum all over our faces, Tae!”

It only took a few more well timed thrusts before Taehyung was pulling out and stepping over the two of you. He tossed the condom aside and pumped away at his shaft until he unleashed a cascade of semen all over your face and Jimin’s. He groaned wantonly as he watched you and Jimin lap up the streaks of semen from each other’s face.

“Fuck, that’s hot,” he conceded while throwing his head back in exhaustion. “I don’t know about you two, but I’m fucking spent.”

His knees buckled onto the mattress and you placed one last kiss on Jimin’s lips before rolling off the bed. You left the two of them gasping for breath on the bed while you retrieved some bottled water from the fridge.

“Oh, you angel,” Jimin preened. “Just what I needed.”

Once you all got back to a normal heart rate, you corralled both Jimin and Taehyung into the shower. You silently thanked your landlord for installing the wide shower stall with a built-in bench seat. The three of you fit comfortably in the shower together with a little room to spare.

After you were all cleaned up and refreshed, the boys changed the sheets and you gathered up extra pillows so you could all cuddle up on the bed. Jimin heartily agreed to the sleepover, and you were all thoroughly exhausted from your early morning romp.

Taehyung tucked both you and Jimin against his chest and sighed out with contentment. After kissing both of you on the forehead, he wished you good night and settled into his pillow. You and Jimin slipped your fingers together and snuggled against Taehyung.

As you faded into unconsciousness, you smiled and exhaled happily.

Damn, Universe. You’re on a roll.

The three of you drifted off to Dreamland as the dogs in the living room looked up with curiosity and growled at the black sparkles that flashed and pulsed from your coffee table and then vanished a moment later.

Author’s Note: (releasing my clenched thighs) Whew, is everyone ok after that chapter? I don’t know about you, but I need a long shower after that. I had so much fun writing this chapter and I made my betas all hot and bothered when they read it, so I assume it’s good. I hope you all enjoyed the Vmin playtime. Only three more chapters to go! 

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

Chapter Three: The Beautiful Music We Used to Make

NEXT CHAPTER

Chapter Five: There’s Still Sunshine When He’s Gone

MAP OF THE SOUL MASTERLIST

@caught-in-a-seesaw-stigma​‘s MASTERLIST

#btswritingcafe #map of the soul #vmin #bts smut #vmin smut #V BTS TAEHYUNG #kim taehyung #park jimin #jimin #bts series #bts fic #bts fanfic

[stonecoldjerseyfox]

Jersey on my mind (part 13)

DISCLAIMER: this part contains graphic descriptions of violence, “Walking Dead-style”.

The white smoke seeps through Milas nose, further up toward the ceiling where it dispels in the breeze that seeps through the open window. And yet, the room is stuffy. 

The warm, moist climate is unfamiliar to her. At least New Jersey reminded her somewhat of the Russian climate. Not that it got cold to the point where the water pipes froze and caused the entire housing complex to resemble an igloo, but at least there was a change of seasons. Autumn, winter, spring, summer. Despite spending nine years in the states, Mila can find herself missing the Russian climate and all its extreme shifts. The summers were dry and hot, the winters cold and dark. She was hardened by the harsh climate, able to cope with most weather conditions, well, at least she thought she was. 

But this heat, which almost feels sticky (and it's not even summer) is very unpleasant. 

Mila takes a new flare on the cigarette. She lies on the unmade bed next to Juri and is in the process of smoking her fifth cigarette for the day and feels grouchy.

At breakfast Mila had stormed off, after once again being refused to accompany the others to the quarry for a rehearsal of the ‘grand plan’. She tried to convince them that she felt much better. She was able to walk and stand. It was trickier to sit down and bend her upper body without wearing, but that wasn’t the point. 

“Gimme’ some morphine and I’ll be fine.” she said. “It's just a briefing.”

She had fallen into a rather rancorous debate with Daryl before Rick intervened and firmly declared that she would not go with them. 

“You stay here. Denise will check on you. Carol and Maggie will also stay-”

Mila yelled at them, then stormed off upstairs and slammed the bedroom door behind her, causing Juri to wake up. Mila rushed over to the bed. “I’m sorry, malysh.” She cooed to the newly awakened boy, rubbing his eyes and collecting his soft toys around him. “Good morning.” she kissed him on the forehead. “Carol made you breakfast downstairs, okay?”

Juri bursted into a sunny smile and Mila kissed him on the forehead once again. While Juri climbed out of bed and rushed downstairs to eat breakfast, Mila took a shower. 

She looks angrily at her bandaged stomach.

“I hate you.” she hisses to the bandage. 

 She hasn’t even bothered to dress properly after the angry shower. For once, she started with the jeans, which is the biggest problem in her attire. As a result, she gave up as soon as they were on her body and the button was buttoned. She laid down on the bed again, in jeans, bra and hat and started smoking, while Juri lay next to her, browsing through the mixtapes Mila constantly carried with her in her backpack. They have been lying there for a while now, listening to everything from Springsteen (their favorite), Grateful Dead and all sorts of country artists, on Juri’s walkman. Willie Nelson, Cash, Alan Jackson, The Highwaymen…

“And we're gonna ride, we're gonna ride. Ride like the one-eyed jack of diamonds, With the devil close behind...” Mila sings with as much feeling she possibly can, without dropping the cigarette. 

When she comes to think about it, smoking is hella’ disgusting. Good thing she rarely smokes then. She prefers vodka. From time to time her eyes wander to the backpack on the floor, where there are five bottles of Tovaritch, Russian standard and Stolichnaya, crying out for her attention, to the point where Mila starts to think she hears them talking to her. 

She hasn't taken as much as a sip of booze since before they were brought to Alexandria, even though she brought five bottles back with her from the liquor store the other day. But due to the fact that she has been falling asleep at the same time as Juri every evening, she hasn’t had those moments on her own where she drinks herself into apathy before falling asleep. Which should be a good thing, but so far it’s been almost intolerable. She’s constantly irritated (which was directed at Daryl and Rick earlier), has a headache, is dreaming nightmares and feels thirsty all the goddamn’ time. And it’s not for water. 

“I'm gonna chase the sky forever, with the woman and the stallion and the wind...” 

Mila’s restless, doesn’t like to be left out. She wonders how things are going at the quarry. It would have been nice to let off steam a bit on a bunch of rotten walkers. Then she might not have believed that the vodka bottles talked to her. 

The walkman clicks. The tape is over. Juri climbs down from the bed, to pick a new cassette tape from the backpack. But something outside the window catches his attention. Mila hears it too, just doesn’t bother. The boy rushes to the window, where the curtains dance in the breeze, stand on his tippy toes and peeks out. 

Mila peers against the window. These are not the usual sounds; no nice greetings as people pass on the street, no birds chirping.

“What is it?” Mila says. “What's going on?”

The boy tears his eyes from the window and starts gesticulating with his hands towards her and mimes; ‘Trouble’. He points to the window. 

“Really?” Mila looks at Juri in disbelief from underneath the hat. Juri nods and raises his index fingers in front of him, places them with their fingertips against each other and then pulls them apart. ‘Enemy’. Mila rises on her elbows in the bed. This can’t be good. ”How many are there?” she whimpers. “Show me the fingers.”

Juri lifts all ten fingers, which can mean both ten and more. Mila swears and climbs out of bed. Her head spins a bit when she stumbles over to the window and opens it fully to look out. The scene that meets her eyes causes her heart to speed up, as if she had received an adrenaline injection right into the beating muscle. Scruffy figures are running around in the streets, armed with machetes and knives, attacking the residents. Mila’s eyes are drawn to a male, with the letter “W” carved in his forehead. Her brain comes to life in the matter of seconds, as if it has been on standby mode for several days. 

“Son of a-” she sputters. “Give me the gun!” 

Juri hurries over to her AK74, takes it and hurries back to the window. Mila grabs the rifle, gives it a quick check to see that it is loaded. Without hesitating, she lifts it out of the window, finds a target, a male whose full attention is directed at Aaron and a woman from the Alexandria community.  

On the next exhale, Mila pulls the trigger. The bullet cuts through the air and the man collapses on the asphalt, with a bleeding bullet hole in his neck. Before Mila is able to search for new targets, and before Aaron can call out to her, a loud bang is heard in the other street, which causes her to lower the rifle. Mila turns around and starts searching for her shoes on the floor. 

“Juri-” she says, as calm as she can, at the same time as she sees the boots. “I want you to put on your headphones, and stay here. Lock the door, and don’t let anyone in.” 

Juri nods obediently, jumps the bed and puts the headphones over his ears, while Mila presses her feet into the boots. Juri presses the on-button on the walkman with his index finger and gives her a thumb up. He’s such a good boy. Mila kisses him on the hair before she opens the door to the bedroom. There’s no time to put on a shirt. She runs out of the room, dressed in jeans, boots, hat and a bra, hurries downstairs and tears the front door open. Aaron runs past on the road, there’s bodies lying on the ground, she hears screaming and yelling. It is as if a light switch turned on in her brain. Her vision is sharper, every muscle, every reflex in her body seems to react faster. Above all, a feeling of indifference. She’s more angry than scared. Her heart pounds with adrenaline. 

A familiar, deep voice speaks to her inside her head, makes Milas skin crawl; “What ties us together, Mila, besides blood, is that you are just as crazy as I am. Deep down, we’re the same. Embrace it.” Well, if she’s ever to embrace it... it might as well be now. Crazy mode; on. 

With a burning sensation of stark mad anger throughout her body,  that scares her as much as it tickles her senses, Mila steps out onto the street. At the same time, a young man, dressed in dark, dirty clothes, comes running rounds the corner of the street, with an axe in his hand. The letter “W” glows red in his forehead. A Wolf. His frantic eyes catch sight of her. Without hesitation, Mila rushes towards him. She’s not particularly strong or bulky, but she's a damn good shot, and she can use a gun for more than shooting things. 

She grabs the barrel of her trustworthy AK74 with both hands and wields it with all her power against the youngster. An unpleasant creaking sound is heard when the oiled wooden stock crushes his jaw. The man falls to the ground with a thud. All the anger Mila built up against the Wolves since their first encounter in the woods, combined with not drinking a drop of alcohol for several days and being denied to follow the other to that goddamn’, motherf-kin’ quarry for a goddamn’ briefing… 

Mila feeds stroke upon stroke with the rifle stock against him, kicking and cursing, until he doesn't move.

#daryl fanfiction #daryl x oc #daryl dixon #Jersey on my mind #Daryl Dixon Fanfic #The Walking Dead fanficition #The walking dead fanfic #fanfiction #twd fanfiction #fanfic #twd fanfic #the walking dead fandom

[icarialex]

Who: Zoey Katz and Kassandra West

When: March 15th

Where: Zoey’s apartment

What: Kassandra seeks comfort from Zoey after running into Aurora.

Kassandra: 

The better part of the day had been spent at the beach in full disassociation mode, that is until she decided to text Zoey. It surprised her that she'd even done that, wanting nothing more than to just go drink her pain away. Or fuck it away. That's how she had learned to cope with the pain of existence, of the hurt that others inflicted. Aurora being here and revealing to her the reason why she'd broken up with her had been a slap in the face. Not to mention adding on the implication that her god-awful mother was way worse than Kassandra had ever realized. Everything about the situation got ten times worse, knowing full well that she'd hated Aurora for things that were out of her control. 

So she texted Zoey, for a distraction or for some semblance of self worth. She wasn't quite sure what it was. But like they had been for a while, the tone shifted and Kassandra found herself dangerously tiptoeing that line of 'will they won't they'. Eventually she made her way to Zoey's house, knocking on the door after sending the last text message. The second that Zoey opened the door, all rational thought was thrown out the window, choosing to ignore the pain in her head and instead wanting to numb it altogether. Without even batting an eyelash, Kassandra picked up Zoey with ease as she kicked the door shut before taking her to the kitchen counter and setting her down on it. Her next step was kissing the blonde heatedly on the mouth, one hand between their bodies to tug on the hem of her shorts while the other gripped gently at the back of Zoey's neck. This probably was a bad idea. Probably.

Zoey: 

Zoey’s mind was a jumbled mess, but she was thankful that she had the distraction of taking care of Kass to take her mind off the thoughts circling her head about whomever arrived on the isle. Warnings went off in her mind because it was obvious how much the person still had some sort of hold over the brunette, but she pushed them down. She believed the words Kass had told her. Even though they hadn’t known one another long, Kassandra had Zoey’s trust until she gave her a reason to take it away. So, instead she focused on grabbing some take out from Wish You Were Beer after making sure to grab Nugget from Kass’ room. Comfort food definitely sounded like a burger, some mozzarella sticks, and French fries. She got a side of onion rings with her own just to add some variety. She wasn’t home long at all when she heard the doorbell ring. She had just enough time to set the food down on her table before making her way over to let the woman in.

The greeting she got wasn’t one she expected at all. Per the course for them both, Zoey quickly let her hormones override her judgement and fell into the kiss. A moan left her as she hooked her legs around the woman’s thighs to keep her as close as possible. The sports bra left so much skin open to her touch which she explored for a few moments before something screamed at her from inside her mind. Perhaps the insecurities and fear she was trying to avoid earlier were to thank for her coming to her senses. Still, her body was calling her a string of unpleasant names she was sure when she managed to pull away from the embrace. “You told me to not let you go where you want this to go,” she said in between labored breaths. “As much as I hate being the sensible one right now, I don’t want you doing something you regret and making things worse.” It was such a far cry from the reasoning and everything they spoke of last time they were in a similar position, but the pace needed to remain the same.

Kassandra: 

Food was here, she could smell it and yet she ignored the hunger pangs in favor of kissing Zoey again. The woman was trying to talk her down, to convince her that she needed to stop and not let this happen but all Kassandra saw was anger and pain and hurt. All of that bled into her like a never-ending wave and the only way she knew how to get it out of her system was to let lust take over. So she'd let Zoey keep talking, her mouth now moving to Zoey's neck as she pressed open mouthed kisses to her skin, scorching her along the way to the shoulder that was exposed before sucking gently on her exposed clavicle. "Don't you want this, Zo?" Her words came out low and breathy, taking her hand to grab one of Zoey's own as she placed it directly on her chest. An eyebrow raised in a challenge as she pulled back, green eyes almost jet black at this point as she took in the sight of Zoey's tousled hair and overall attire. Gods, how was a person this attractive.

Immediately she dove back in, kissing her deeply while moving one of her hands underneath Zoey's shirt to let her fingernails scratch lightly down the other woman's stomach. 'You're a good fuck, Kass, I'll give you that'. The thought infiltrated her mind, remembering the blonde that she had invited to her room all those weeks ago. Tearing her mouth away from Zoey's, she went to Zoey's ear, nipping gently on her earlobe before whispering to her. "I want you..." Her voice was raspy, fully intending on letting out a while timed moan into the other woman's ear when another memory ruined the moment. 'My mom's going to be home soon. Make this quick'. With a low groan, Kassandra pulled back fully from Zoey now, wishing that her guilt would just shut off for one fucking night. She put her head in her hands, eyes slamming shut as she realized she'd just come in here and basically demanded something that she wasn't in the right mind to give. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry." Kass whispered, pulling her head out of her hands to take a few steps backwards from Zoey, not wanting to meet her gaze.

Zoey: 

When Kass continued to try and move things forward, Zoey knew it wasn’t out of a lack of respect for her. It was a fight or flight response of some sort that she had to find the will power to push through. Her body literally felt like it was on fire. Every part of her wanted to get closer to Kass and just let go of the hesitation. The blonde was truly being honest when she said she didn’t need to wait, but the problem was, Kassandra did. In order for this to be done right, the other woman had to sort through everything that was happening first. Otherwise, whatever they could become would just become collateral damage. “Yes, Kass,” she replied. Denying how much she wanted things to progress wasn’t something she’d do. Still, what she wanted and what they needed were two very different things. 

Hearing the brunette’s voice husk into her ear literally made Zoey curse. The word fuck slipped under her breath as she tried her beast to get clear thoughts to push forward into her brain. Fortunately, something clicked within the other woman which caused her to stop her wonderfully, torturous movements. The blonde wanted to comfort Kass, but she needed to get herself together first. So, she set her palms down on the counter, closed her eyes, and counted to fifteen first. Once she felt like she wasn’t going to combust, and was instead just mildly uncomfortably turned on, she hopped off the counter and walked towards the woman. “Hey,” she said gently as she cupped Kassandra’s cheeks and locked their eyes. “It’s okay. I’m okay, you’re okay, and we’re okay. I promise. I know this is just — it’s you reacting to seeing her,” she said much more calmly than she felt.

Wanting to just help the woman feel better, she moved to intertwine their fingers and tugged her towards the table. “Come on, let’s eat. I took a guess on what you’d want since you told me you weren’t a picky eater, and I figured you’d want comfort type food right now over anything else. At least, that’s how I am when I’m sad.” Sitting across from Kass with her just wearing shorts and a sports bra wasn’t going to work though. That was just torture. “Make yourself comfortable and take out the food, yeah? I’m going to get you a shirt. If I have to look at you like this all dinner, I’ll literally explode. Okay?”

Kassandra: 

Everything about what she'd just done was enough to send her guilt through the damn roof but here Zoey was, mostly calm and still so caring. Fuck. She definitely did not deserve her. "She just came out of nowhere, Zo. I feel so blindsided. And everything felt like it was maybe going to start falling into place and then... And she just ruined it all." Kassandra sighed, looking at Zoey with tears brimming as the other woman cupped her cheeks in her hands. Letting out a deep breath, she nodded her head in agreement, thankful that this beautiful woman in front of her was so careful with her even when she didn't deserve it. As Zoey led her over to the table, fingers interlaced in a far too adorable manner, her stomach gave a loud rumble. "Oh... I guess I should eat. Haven't had anything since breakfast and that was just toast." She chose to avoid Zoey's gaze, sure that she'd give her a stern look now that she let that slip. 

Kassandra sat down in the chair, she reached forward for the burger and immediately took a very large bite. Eyes closed as she moaned softly from the taste, not even realizing just how much that was was probably going to come off as highly inappropriate. Chewing on the food, she rose an eyebrow as Zoey suggested that she needed to wear a shirt. As Zoey left the room to go get her a shirt, Kassandra looked down at her attire and was reminded that she'd gone jogging in this. Gross. Without even really thinking about it, she stood up and took off her sports bra, throwing it over in the corner next to her to-go bag that she'd left over here. Kassandra grabbed the burger once more, shrugging as she took another bite from the burger.

Zoey:

The blonde bit her lip as she tried to think of the right thing to say. It wasn’t like she was an expert when it came to love. “She didn’t ruin everything,” she said cautiously. “What happened in your past is just that, Kass. It doesn’t have to repeat itself. I can’t imagine how those wounds hurt because I’ve been pretty lucky in that department, but at the same time, I’ve never experienced any kind of passionate, need to be around someone kind of love. I’ve played it safe, and well, I can tell you it’s not all sunshine and rainbows on this end of it either,” she said with a small smile and a shrug. While she didn’t pine for a great love or was desperate for that connection that so many people spoke of, that didn’t mean she didn’t think of it. That didn’t mean she didn’t dream of it. Zoey just thought patience would eventually lead her where she needed to be. “You can still do everything you wanted to do when you talked to me. You can work on yourself, you can face those demons, and I can be here when you’re ready. None of that has changed. All that has is that she is now in your zip code.”

“I swear to the Gods, Kassandra West. You need to take better care of yourself if you don’t want me pestering you all the time,” she said with a shake of her head as she made her way towards her bedroom. She nearly stopped dead in her tracks at the sound of a moan, but kept herself in check. Instead, she walked a little faster. For the second time she found herself searching through her drawers for a shirt to lend to Kass, and smiled when she landed on a Pikachu one from one of her many trips to Japan over the years. It was comfortable and adorable, so she settled for that one and headed back into the living room. However, when she caught sight of the woman, she literally froze, inhaled through her nose, and closed her eyes. “Kass,” she said loud enough for the woman to hear. “I don’t know how you see yourself, but I need you to listen to me. You’re so much more to me than just your looks, but holy macaroni Kass, you’re also someone I find so incredibly beautiful. I’m not used to being this attracted to someone that I literally don’t want to keep my hands off of you. So, please, until I can actually do that without messing up anything between us, keep your clothes on.” She ended on a huff as she balled the shirt up and tossed it at the brunette’s head from where she stood. She just arched an eyebrow, crossed her arms, and made it abundantly clear that she wasn’t taking another step forward until Kass was clothed. Her will power would honestly shatter if she didn’t stay rooted where she was.

Kassandra: 

Mid-bite, Kassandra found herself being called out to by Zoey. Opening her eyes in response, she saw the other woman's face with her eyes closed and what looked like a blush tinting her cheeks. Kass smirked at the arched brow, the defensive stance. All of it made heat pool in her belly but then she got smacked in the face with a shirt and remembered that she was standing in Zoey's kitchen with nothing on her top half. Taking another bite of the burger, she chewed it thoughtfully as if weighing her options, noting how the artist seemed to be making no forward momentum to get any closer to her. A pout appeared on her face as she set the burger down. Grabbing the shirt that had fallen to the ground, she began taking steps towards Zoey knowing full well that she was probably going to get a glare. As she passed by the table, she reached out and grabbed a mozzarella stick.

It didn't take long for her to be standing in front of Zoey, a smirk on her lips at the height difference. She was well aware of what was eye level with the other woman. "Holy macaroni is only ever going to be cute when it comes from your lips, babe. Now as for the clothes--I'll put on the shirt. But first, I'm going to need you to eat something. You look absolutely famished. I think I might have even seen a little bit of drool." Kassandra's smirk widened, moving her t-shirt so it was laying along her left shoulder before bringing her now free hand up to trace a thumb along Zoey's lower lip. "Now," She started, holding up the mozzarella stick to wag back and forth in front of Zoey's face. "Can you please make sure you eat something so I can put this shirt on? It's getting kind of nippy in here." Kassandra smiled, a challenge written all over her face, knowing full well that she was being a brat.

Zoey: 

The blonde should have known that Kassandra would do something to further tease her. It was the woman’s M.O. She’d warned Zoey on their date that she hadn’t even seen the tip of the iceberg when it came to her teasing, and well, the brunette was certainly right. Standing in front of the artist still shirtless, was just downright cruel when she couldn’t do anything about it. Still, blue eyes opened when she heard Kassandra’s voice much closer than it should be. “What I look is incredibly turned on,” she retorted back. Zoey lost all shyness as she allowed her blue eyes to very obviously take in everything of the beautiful woman before her. When she’d last seen the brunette naked, she’d been so upset that the artist didn’t allow herself to take in as much as she wanted. It felt like she was taking advantage of the situation. “You’re not making it any easier for me to not drag you into my bedroom right now and let you have your way with me.”

Still, as always seemed to be the case with them, Zoey found herself wanting to play the game laid out before her. So, with boldness she didn’t know she possessed, the blonde said, “bring it closer then,” as she grabbed Kass’ hips and tugged her forward until their bodies touched. Slowly, she took a bite of the offered mozzarella stick, and as she chewed she allowed her hands to glide from the woman’s hips to land on her butt. “Is being closer to me keeping you warmer? Although, I have to say, the effect the cold has on you is something I really enjoy. I might have to just pay a higher electrical bill to keep my house colder at this rate.” The artist gave the flesh beneath her a palms a squeeze before sliding upwards again. They teased Kass’ ribcage and paused for a second on the side of her breasts before going back down to the safety the woman’s hips offered. “I took a bite. Is that satisfactory for you?”

Kassandra: 

The temptation to give into the other woman's words was a struggle but for some insane reason she managed to behave herself. "You couldn't drag me into that bedroom if you tried." Kassandra teased sweetly, knowing full well that while Zoey couldn't do that physically she could definitely just look at her with those eyes of hers and the brunette would be insta-goo. Before she could even remotely know what was happening, Zoey was pulling her closer and suddenly she felt her mouth go dry. Their bodies were now pressed together and--wait--was that a hand on her ass? Blinking slowly, Kassandra looked down to make sure and yes, indeed, that was a hand on her ass. At Zoey's next quip, Kassandra rolled her eyes. It was absolutely adorable that she was somewhat corrupting this blonde or at the very base level of helping her explore her sex-drive side. Never had an orgasm that wasn't self induced? How had she even lived? She hadn't. That was the answer.

Kassandra snorted as Zoey took a bite, going back to her all-too innocent self. So instead of giving a retort, she just nodded triumphantly and extracted herself from the other woman's tangle of limbs. Popping the rest of the mozzarella stick in her own mouth, she grabbed the shirt off her shoulder and threw it on. A smile crossed over her face until she looked down and saw what exactly was on the shirt. "You're kidding me. Zoey. Zoey." Kassandra growled, mostly in a teasing manner and then did a half-hearted attempt at a whine. Even added in a foot stomp for good measure. "I'm a badass. You can't really expect me to wear a Pikachu shirt." Kassandra groaned, moving so she was bending over to rest her forehead on Zoey's shoulder. "A Pokemon is touching my tits. I don't know how I feel about this."

Zoey:

“If I stripped my clothes off while walking to my bedroom, I’m pretty positive you would follow,” she retorted back with a playful roll of her eyes. When Kassandra was clothes again, Zoey was able to relax a little bit. Honestly, at least when she was partially naked around the brunette it had been by accident since she didn’t expect a visitor at such a late hour. What Kass did was deliberate and just downright mean. She’d get her back eventually. While sweet and innocent, that didn’t mean Zoey could just let gauntlets be thrown and not respond. However, she definitely giggled at Kass’ reaction to the shirt she’d gotten. “Sorry to break it to you sweetheart, but you’re kind of with a girl that draws anime and comics for a living. Cute shirts are part of my wardrobe. Plus, I like you in my clothes.” The with part of her comment could be taken as either they were dancing around something or were just physically together at the moment. The blonde tried to convince herself she didn’t care about one more than the other.

“So vulgar,” she teased as she turned her head to kiss the woman’s cheek. “Now come on. I actually am hungry and want to eat. Also, I can’t believe you’ve ignored your sleeping puppy for so long.” She shook her head playfully as she moved to the sofa and rubbed Nugget’s stomach. It had sort of become the puppy’s permanent space in her apartment, and Zoey loved it. She bent over to place a kiss on his little nose before moving to unpack her own food from the take out bag. “All insane sexual tension aside, are you okay? Can I do anything besides turn you on to help you feel better?” Obviously she was skilled at taking the brunette’s mind off of things, but she did was to help make things easier for when they weren’t together too. She took a bite of her burger and danced in her chair slightly as she waited for Kass to join her.

Kassandra: 

"I said tits," Kass said with a sigh, moving to pet her puppy for a moment before giving him a kiss on the head as she moved past him to go back to the table. "That's not vulgar, you're clearly just a prude." She waggled her eyebrows for a moment before tapping her chin thoughtfully with a finger. "Actually I take that back. No prude would have just grabbed my ass. Somewhere underneath all of that adorable blonde hyperactive sweetheart thing you've got going on... There's a minx. I'll find her. Sooner or later." Her body ached when she sat down, the events of the day clearly catching up to her in that moment. Picking up her burger once more, she took another thoughtful bite before answering. "I'm okay. I'm not great, but I'm okay. It was a shock to the system, seeing her again. I've had this... This picture of her in my head. That she just got to live this fairytale life with the guy she left me for. That her parents loved her unconditionally and never found out that she was ever... With me." 

"I said tits," Kass said with a sigh, moving to pet her puppy for a moment before giving him a kiss on the head as she moved past him to go back to the table. "That's not vulgar, you're clearly just a prude." She waggled her eyebrows for a moment before tapping her chin thoughtfully with a finger. "Actually I take that back. No prude would have just grabbed my ass. Somewhere underneath all of that adorable blonde hyperactive sweetheart thing you've got going on... There's a minx. I'll find her. Sooner or later." Her body ached when she sat down, the events of the day clearly catching up to her in that moment. Picking up her burger once more, she took another thoughtful bite before answering. "I'm okay. I'm not great, but I'm okay. It was a shock to the system, seeing her again. I've had this... This picture of her in my head. That she just got to live this fairytale life with the guy she left me for. That her parents loved her unconditionally and never found out that she was ever... With me." 

Zoey:

A laugh escaped her as Kass tried to explain just what she was. “Your guess is as good as mine. I’m figuring everything out with you as we go. It’s fun,” she said with a shrug. Zoey let very little upset her if she could help it. “But I’m thinking you’re right the more and more we tease one another.” Zoey continued eating as she allowed Kass to get everything off her chest. The idea of hurting someone else to make her life a little easier wasn’t something that sat well with the artist She was well aware that someone would say that she only felt that way because she was never put in that position, but Zoey was always hyper aware of the feelings of others. Her parents were actually worried about how much she could sacrifice her own happiness for that of others. It left her vulnerable and made it easy for the wrong people to take advantage of her. “I can’t say I understand. The idea of hurting you makes me sick to my stomach. I couldn’t ever knowingly do something to protect myself if I knew it would make things worse for someone else. I’d rather hurt with you than leave you hurting alone,” she said with a shrug. “I’ve always cared a lot about those in my circle. My dad jokes it’s a pack mentality thing since I shape shift.” She couldn’t help but roll her eyes playfully at that because it was such an old joke in their family.

“Realizing she didn’t do what you thought and still caring about her isn’t a bad thing,” she said carefully. The conversation was definitely a hard one to navigate for someone who also had feelings involved. Yes, she had feelings for Theo who was an ex, but they were completely platonic. They broke up because of that fact actually. Her limited dating experience made her feel very out of her depth, and she had no idea what someone else having such a grand effect on a person after so long meant in the grand scheme of things. Were there things unresolved? Did learning that things didn’t go the way they were painted to seem change things? Zoey had no idea. “Maybe talking with her when you’re ready and sorting through it more would give you what you need to not be so hurt by it all.” A closure of sorts. Maybe that was what she needed.

When Kass asked her question, blue eyes closed for a moment because she thought her words were taken innocently. After all, they were said before they dove into what was happening. Apparently not though. “You can take that however you’re ready to,” she said with a sigh when she opened her eyes again and locked them with Kass’. “We obviously aren’t officially together, but I’m — I’m not seeing anyone else, and I’m not remotely interested in anyone else. Still, I know putting a label on things now most likely isn’t the right move with everything, and that’s fine. So, you can take that as the girl you’re physically with in this moment, in this house, draws anime and comics so she has a lot of cute shirts in her wardrobe. That’s okay.”

Kassandra:

'You can take that however you're ready to'. Suddenly the distance between them felt too great, Kassandra moving from where she sat to pick up Zoey's chair despite her being sat in it to scooch it back a bit. It's not like she or the chair were heavy, making sure she didn't jostle the blonde too much. Next came clearing the food away from directly in front of Zoey, which of course didn't take too long and then finally she sat on the table in front of the blonde. Her legs dangled from the table, reaching forward with them to wrap her feet around the legs of the chair to bring Zoey closer once more. Once Zoey was back in her orbit, Kass leaned forward to tip the other woman's chin up to look at her. Green eyes found blue as she smiled gently, albeit sadly as she bit down on her lip. Air escaped her lungs in a low puff as her thumb rubbed back and forth against soft skin for a moment before she leaned forward, closing the distance as she placed her lips against Zoey's. It wasn't heated, just a soft kiss that made her heart pound in her chest until she pulled back enough so she could hold the artist's gaze once more.

"I'm thankful that you understand... That this is all a little bit hard for me. I'm not--I don't let people in. Or at least.. I haven't. Not in a long time. For the longest time... Sleeping around... Fucking a body to forget--it was all I knew. Each time I placed my hands on a warm body, my mind went to her. She was my first love. My best friend. I thought she was my soulmate. But then I grew up." She knew what she meant by that, knew that the world and the choices the people around her had made for her had led her down this path. To this person she'd become. "Every time I met someone that I was attracted to, I fucked them. To make it go away. I'd see her and I'd let it hurt. Over and over I tortured myself. And then eventually I stopped seeing her. I grew to hate her. Part of me still does despite today. Because she broke me. Even if it was out of self preservation."

Swallowing thickly, Kassandra looked down at her knees for a moment before finding those blue eyes once more. "I came here because I had nothing left. I wasn't expecting to meet anyone that made me feel something. I wasn't expecting to find you. To be honest, I'm shocked that we connected like we did. It just felt... Natural. Like... Like breathing. Like opening your eyes and you..." She trailed off, eyes searching Zoey's own as she tried to come to grips with how she felt. "Like before there was no color. I came here and I started to see it. In the people around here. In the beauty of this place. In you. But I tried so hard to not let it bleed into me." Kassandra reached down for one of Zoey's hands, bringing her knuckles up to kiss them gently before squeezing them. "And yet I slowly started to want to be better. I fucked people to avoid the truth. To avoid what I felt. For you. And the second I found out that I... That there were real and true feelings--there was no one else. Just you. And... And I know that's not an answer." The brunette cleared her throat, not able to keep her gaze anymore. "I know that my past is here in the form of my ex and I know there's history. I know some part of me still loves her. Despite all the hate. But...What I also know is that when I stop listening to my brokenness and I listen to what I want... What I want is you, Zoey. I just hope that's enough for now."

Zoey:

While she was surrounded on an island filled with people who had extraordinary powers, she wasn’t used to just being lifted and moved like a feather. A light sequel escaped her as she was moved, but she trusted the brunette more than she thought possible through the weeks they’d known one another. The kiss was sweet. So sweet, that Zoey chased after Kassandra to steal another one before leaning back against her chair. “You know, your strength is something that I know I’ll find more and more sexy as time goes on,” she said with a light laugh. While they were having such a serious conversation, Zoey still liked to add some lightness to things. It was something she always did naturally to show that even with the darkest of topics, some lightness could always be found. 

As she heard Kass explain things, Zoey just sat back and listened. She munched on onion rings as she allowed the other woman to get everything she needed to out. A smile graced her features when she heard how much Kass did want her, and that always filled her with warmth. For someone who claimed to be so broken, she did a decently good job of communicating with the blonde. That was something that meant more to her than anything she could actually explain. When everything seemed to be out, and there was an obvious pause in conversation, Zoey took a breath in and slowly released it. An easy smile stayed on her face to show that nothing was ill received. She just — that was a lot to unpack. “You know, I get the sense from how you talk about how you acted with other women that you think you’re disgusting or horrible, and that’s just — it’s not true. You never led women to believe you were offering more than you could which was a one night stand. Anyone that went to bed with you went so willingly and knowing what you wanted. That’s better than some. I can’t find it in my heart to judge you. How could I? Just you talking about your past behaviors this way proves that you want to get better. You’re so much more than you see, and I’m going to need you to be nicer to the girl I want.”

The last part she wanted to say was much harder for her to get out. She didn’t know how it would be received. Zoey bit her lip as she tried to shove her vulnerability down. “That’s enough for now, of course. I just — what if,” she started before looking down at her lap for a minute. After psyching herself up for a few seconds, she finally looked up again and finished what she started to say. “What if the part of you that still loves her is bigger than you think it is?”

Kassandra: 

It was almost comical for her to hear just how Zoey saw her. Saw her so differently than she saw herself. It was honestly hard for her to hear it, hell, to even let it sink in past the surface. All she could do was listen. Listen and look at Zoey with tear-filled eyes, nodding in some sort of agreement when Zoey told her to be nicer to herself. "I'll try," She offered gently, voice hoarse. "It'll just take some practice. I'm not really good at... Doing that." Her eyebrow raised as the blonde continued, moving onto another point that she honestly wasn't expecting to hear. Let alone think about. Fuck. So she decided to close her eyes and think. Her mind went blank, imagination running wild as she let everything go numb around her.

Two figures stood in front of her, both with their eyes closed. To the right stood Zoey and to the left stood Aurora. Aurora's frame twitched in her mind's eye, almost shifting back and forth between her sixteen year old self and the woman she'd met today. In her mind's eye she saw herself step forward, reaching a hand out for Aurora and felt a warmth before it turned cold to the point that she retracted her hand like she'd been burned. Then she turned to Zoey, hand reaching out as the warmth that she'd felt before was all-encompassing before she pressed it against the other woman's cheek. Green eyes fluttered open, blushing once she realized how she'd actually found herself cupping Zoey's cheek in reality.

Two figures stood in front of her, both with their eyes closed. To the right stood Zoey and to the left stood Aurora. Aurora's frame twitched in her mind's eye, almost shifting back and forth between her sixteen year old self and the woman she'd met today. In her mind's eye she saw herself step forward, reaching a hand out for Aurora and felt a warmth before it turned cold to the point that she retracted her hand like she'd been burned. Then she turned to Zoey, hand reaching out as the warmth that she'd felt before was all-encompassing before she pressed it against the other woman's cheek. Green eyes fluttered open, blushing once she realized how she'd actually found herself cupping Zoey's cheek in reality.

Zoey: 

“Whenever you need a little help, just come to me. My door is always open to you. I’d actually love to help you find an actual place, Kass,” she said honestly. “Moving in with me is too fast. I will not be a stereotypical female-female relationship and u-haul, Kassandra. And yes, I’ve been doing my research.” Labeling herself was not something she was comfortable doing. If she had to, she’d say she was queer since that still had a lot of freedom involved. Still, pigeonholing herself into anything just felt odd. Zoey had always been raised to be such a free spirit.

Hearing how Kassandra felt about Aurora stirred some odd feelings within Zoey that she was not used to. Positive emotions were typically what ran through her, but right then, she knew she felt jealousy. It was so strange. She learned into Kass’ touch and let out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding. “If you think I am under any impression that this,” she said as she motioned between the two of them with a finger before continuing, “will be easy, then you are very mistaken.” That most likely didn’t sound ideal to most people or like a dream, but to Zoey it sounded real. It was why she gravitated towards it and felt so okay with it all despite how tumultuous it could become. “I don’t want a fairytale. Now, I can almost promise you that I’ll most likely get jealous throughout you and your ex sorting things out, but I’ll try not to. Just keep me in the loop even if you think I won’t want to hear it.” With that, she stood up from where she was sitting and moved to stand in between Kass’ legs. The woman was still taller than the blonde, but with her sitting on the table, it was much less of a difference than normal. Zoey wrapped her arms around Kass’ neck and pressed a kiss to her nose before kissing both of her cheeks. “By the way, in case I haven’t been abundantly clear, I like you too. A lot.”\

Kassandra: 

A snort escaped her at the mention of Zoey doing research before she sighed in agreement. "I know I should probably go looking for a place. If you're able to help me then I'm definitely down for it. But it has to have room for Nugget because I don't want him staying cooped up in one room all day." Rubbing the back of her neck, Kassandra shrugged before offering up further information on herself. "I got my mother's money when she died. For some reason she kept me in her will. Plus I have what my father gave me and what I made over the last decade." Kassandra didn't like talking about money. It made her uncomfortable but she knew that the world revolved around it. She just didn't think it mattered how little, or in her case how much, she had in her bank account. "Anyway... I'll be good to buy something. Or rent something. I honestly do not know how the land situation works around here."

Kassandra rose an eyebrow at Zoey mentioning that she might get jealous of her and Aurora. No one had ever been jealous of her before, it was an odd feeling. And to be honest, she was quite surprised that she found herself being honored by that thought? When the blonde moved between her legs, Kass couldn't help but gulp, eyes nearly going cross eyed as the other woman got closer and began peppering her face with kisses. The blush she had on her face intensified at that, unable to meet Zoey's eyes. "You're not supposed to be so cute. Its not fair." She murmured back, placing her hands on Zoey's hips to give them a soft squeeze.

Zoey:

The talk about money wasn’t even really something that Zoey paid full attention to outside of needing to know what listings she should weed out. How much someone made wasn’t something she really concerned herself about. The blonde was more than comfortable enough with her own income, and that wasn’t something she ever thought to look at when thinking of dating. Money came and went so easily in life. That wasn’t something to worry herself over. “You can do either. It all just depends on if you’d rather rent or buy. How long are you planning on sticking around?” Zoey was relieved that their current topic of conversation made that question fit in seamlessly, but she’d be lying if she said she was only interested in the answer because of real estate. 

Staying close to Kass, the blonde laughed lightly and shrugged her shoulders. “I’m only this cute with you.” While the artist was playful and kind to most people, she did have some boundaries she only crossed when in a relationship or dancing around one. She didn’t want the brunette thinking that she treated everyone the same way. That wasn’t a nice feeling. “What else do you want to do with me today? I think you said something about you needing a shower. Would me offering to join you be too torturous for you?” She attempted to keep her tone innocent, but the smile on her face definitely gave away how mischievous she was.

Kassandra:

Kassandra felt her chest tighten at the question that was presented to her. How long was she planning on staying? Originally she only planned on staying long enough to get close to people, get dirt, and report back to daddy dearest. Now? Now she didn't know what she was doing. All she knew was that the thought of leaving and saying goodbye to Zoey left a horrible taste in her mouth. "I don't know, honestly. But I don't really want to leave you any time soon." Kassandra answered far too honestly before realizing exactly what she'd just said. Oh fuck. "I-I mean... Leave here. That--yep. That's what I meant."

Blushing furiously, a hand rubbed the back of her neck as she now promptly avoided eye contact. "Anyway... Yes, I need a shower." The idea of Zoey showering with her made her jaw drop slightly, her eyebrow raising as a wicked grin spread across her face. Just like that she'd forgotten her earlier blunder, pulling the blonde closer towards her. "You in the shower with me? I promise I'll behave. Mostly. Can't promise I won't makeout with you though." Green eyes found blue as she leaned forward, pressing a quick kiss to Zoey's lips. Standing up from the table, the brunette grabbed onto Zoey's hand, tugging her towards the shower with a giggle. "How do you feel about being kissed against a shower wall...." She murmured before picking up Zoey and kicking shut the door to the bathroom behind them.

Zoey:

Zoey let herself be distracted from the first part of their conversation for a moment. However, she did squirrel the comment away in the back of her mind. It was something she wanted to touch on. However, she quickly found herself picked up and being walked towards her bathroom which put that thought on hold for a moment. “It would be a waste if we showered together, and I wasn’t pressed against a shower wall,” she said with a smile as she leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the brunette’s neck. It was just about the only spot she could reach from her position.

When they got to the bathroom, she wiggled out of Kass’ arms and quickly began shedding her shirt. “Just so you know, I don’t want you to leave me anytime soon either,” she said right before kissing Kass again.

Kassandra: 

A pout formed on her lips as soon as Zoey worked her way out of her arms but it quickly disappeared the absolute second that Zoey began taking off her shirt. Without skipping a beat, Kassandra reached for the shirt that Zoey had lent her, making sure to pull it off rather than tear it away given the fact that it wasn't her own shirt. She didn't think Zoey would be particularly too happy with that kind of destruction. Reaching around the blonde, she turned on the water to 'hot' before pulling back to look at the blonde. "Alright, gorgeous, you're taking too long." With a giggle, Kassandra picked up Zoey once more and brought her under the shower. Sure, they both still had the lower half of their clothes on but she didn't really care. Not with the water pouring down around them, not with how Zoey was looking at her. And as she leaned down to connect their lips once more, she pressed Zoey against the wall as steam began to fill the room. 

Showering together was the best idea.

#zoey ft. kassandra #discord 3 #cinnamon roll meets sinnamon roll