#but angry and disorganized

[scattered-winter]

Give us the rant my liege

(tagging @vulpinesaint because they wanted to see this as well)

ok this is. gonna get long. and im not gonna be holding anything back. and as someone who suffers from chronic Too Nice disease i need to put that disclaimer beforehand with the additional disclaimer that these are all just my opinions that have been largely brought about by my own personal experiences so im not speaking for the entire community when i give this rant.

now with all that out of the way. let me welcome you to the land of aroace WRATH

the first thing i want to say is that most of the things I'm angry abt in fandom's general treatment/views of aro/ace people are actually extensions of the general societal views toward sex and romance as a whole. I'll go more in depth as we go but I'm choosing to focus more on the fandom side of things for now since it's a lot easier to be angry at something so trivial compared to the entire (western) society that's structured against people like me.

one of the biggest things I've seen a lot in fandom/creator spaces is the urge to give every character a romantic relationship that's more "powerful" or "deep" than platonic/familial relationships. this is of course an extension of amanormativity in society as a whole, because the belief that romance is the Goal (tm) is so deeply set into society that it's taken me years of introspection and research to come to terms and find joy in my aromanticism. but it's the concept of characters not being able to be happy, or find fulfillment, or being lonely for the rest of their lives because they don't have a romantic partner. and I wish I could say queers in fandom were generally more accepting of the idea of characters never finding (or even wanting) romance but that's so far from the case because often it's queer people who are pushing this idea of romance and marriage being the Goal.

and with all the above in mind, aro/ace representation is really hard to find. I can probably count the canon aro/ace characters in any media I've ever consumed on one hand (which ofc doesn't say much about the whole scope of aro/ace rep because that's just from what I've seen/read and there's probably more out there that I've never gotten to). and the thing that really upsets me in particular is how, even in the rare instances where we do get representation, fandom collectively ignores it to shove the character into romantic/sexual relationships in fanworks. like. y'all have literally every single character to ship around with and yet y'all also take the one win we have too. smh. and then my Personal Favorite thing (/s) is when someone points out the erasure, allos' go-to thing to say is "well, ace people can still have sex! aro people can still be in relationships!!" y'all are missing the point.

I also can't think of any media I've ever seen where it's unapologetically aro/ace ?? there are quite a few pieces of media that are explicitly, unapologetically queer that I hold sooo close to my chest, but there's nothing for aro/aces outside of like. children's shows. where the romance is minor enough that it can be ignored. and not to be dramatic but I would kill a man for a piece of adult aro/ace media that actually showed the joys and connections within the communities. even media with queer representation tends to lean into the "sex/romance is what makes us human" thing, which I can't even fault the creators for because that's what society as a whole--even queer society--says, too. and of course it's unfair to hold queer media to a higher standard than normal, and that's not what I'm trying to do. it's just. even when I'm watching/reading something meant for queer people, it's still not entirely for me, yknow?? and I think I can feel disappointed about that and also not hold queer media up to a ridiculous standard.

which brings me to more of the irl shit ig !! for all the anger against people saying that aros will be alone their whole lives, there's also some truth to that, but not in the way you'd initially think. I'm not lonely because I want a girlfriend and I'm sad because I don't. I'm lonely because my whole family is going to get married. all my siblings. all my friends. they're all going to find a romantic partner, and/or a marriage, and as "just" a friend, I'm suddenly not as important as their partner. there's this idea that marriages/romantic partnerships always have to come before hobbies, careers, friends, and anything else. and if someone prioritizes something else over romance, they're "selfish." there's also this idea that breakups can only happen if one side of the partnership did something wrong. that sometimes a relationship just isn't working, or they're just not compatible (and neither side is at fault for that.) and this idea of romance and marriage being The Most Important Thing Ever is what makes me lonelier than anything. because even as a kid in school, I lost friends because they got a boyfriend and girlfriend and suddenly that was more important than anything else. including me. and as more and more of my friends and siblings get married, it's only going to get worse because I'm not as important to them anymore. and that's something I'm gonna have to deal with, even though I love being aro and there's nothing I would rather be.

#this ended up way more disorganized and rambly than i was intending but. alas #thats how the inside of my brain be 😔 #and id also like to express that a lot of these issues arent caused by anyone in particular. #creators arent picking up their pens going ''im gonna make life hell for aro/ace people today!!!'' #it's just. how society is structured. and there's no specific person who's the cause of it. #so when im angry im not angry at anyone in specific im just. angry #anyway this is REALLY rambly and idk if i was clear. its been a long day and my brain functions have fled. #mads 🧠 #aroace #asexual #aromantic

[gxlden-angels]

I looked up The Transformed Wife on Twitter to show to my therapist and now I'm only getting her and other conservatives recommended to me I think it's time I deleted the bird app

#The main reason I redownloaded it was for social media management for my job #but then I started only doing graphics and others manage them #then I started 'microdosing on anger' on there #but it's not fun when I can't get angry at a transphobe tell them to ligma then hop out and look at trans accounts #cause the algorithm is all types of fucked there and I hate it #I also hate how disorganized it is #it's not as pretty and neat I can't say my piece in the tags #it sucks #but yea don't look her up if you don't know who that is #as her content is p triggering in regards to SA purity culture and other things like that #so yea I might delete the app for a little bit cause this is lame

[jynjackets]

Cassian Andor is so mother

#he literally adopts everyone or kills them #I love him so much #he takes in the most feral of cats and says ‘welcome home’ #gosh #then that feral cat reminds him of why he’s doing all of this #because he was that angry cat himself once #and they become each others homes 😭 #fic idea where cassian runs an animal shelter #jyn owns the bookstore next door with a books for prisoners program #they despise each others antics as neighbors and have a feud #she shoos away the cats that run into her shop #he doesn’t like how disorganized her store is and her cold nature #until their street is bought over by empire real estate and they band together to fight the gentrification #they’re setting up posters and fundraisers together for the street to keep their small businesses #Jyn stays late with Cassian one evening to discuss their ‘protest plans’ #she gets to meet the animals and cassians favorite being the cat no one adopts #the one that snarls at anyone looking at it but loves only cassian bc he had the patience and understanding #cassian finds more excuses to visit jyn in her shop and asks for book recommendations often #she shows him her favorite book about a lost boy growing up to be a soldier and finding his way back home #they bond over socialist books and why they both started their businesses #they understand each other and are initially afraid of how alike they are #they fight the rent hikes with the other business owners in the neighborhood and declare their love for each other #the end lol #jyn erso #cassian andor #rebelcaptain #andor #rogue one

[always-andromeda]

Christ almighty I am not a fan of my English professor. It’s absolutely devastating because I love his class and I love that I can apply so much of what I’m learning to my writing and I also love that I’m allowed to just rant about my thoughts on literature for thousands of words.

But this man has no fucking clue how to use canvas and is so disorganized I swear, usually I try to give people more slack and be understanding but my man, we are over a month into the semester and he has no fucking clue how to schedule posts and continually forgets to post things entirely. Like hahahaha thanks, Professor!!!! 🙃✨✨✨

#medarants✨ #i usually try not to let myself get too angry about things #but the fact that i genuinely love this class makes his disorganization so frustrating

[z9geevr5555hehssvd]

>_<

#i cant deal with the cognitive dissonance frkm my toxic af disorganized attchment rn #its like omg i hated Emily's friend #i need to cut myself off. i notice when I get close w ppl in that way... I get... toxic #her friend deserves better than an angry abusive shit bag #well. My thoughts are abusive. not my actions but. i guess abuse is the actions you take. not the thoughts #but they serve as a fair warnjng that i could be abusive and toxic and I hate it!!! #friends = scary....

[hauntedhowling]

Urges urges urges I want to run around I want to hunt I want to sniff I want to mark my territory I want to have fun I want to be in nature I want to just.... exist

But I can't just exist !!! I cant

I want to more than anything but can't. I hate that I'm so fucking self aware of my body. I want it to be gone.

I want to understand myself. I wish my transformations were easier. I wish it wasn't just partial. It's always fucking partial. I want my head!!! Or my tail or some fur on my tummy. It's always breaking my ankles and projecting my palms. The pressure build up and then 🤷‍♂️

Need to rip my flesh off

#vent #bro is not doing okay #frustrated. hungry. #angry. need bite #i think im schizophrenic. disorganized schizophrenia #idk #idk idk idk idk idk #nobody gonna see this #sometimes i love being a qerewolf and sometimes i wish i was a normal human man

[teaboot]

As someone who learnt english as a second language via textbook, I have to say "flying by the seat of my pants" is a hilarious idiom xD

It's the first time I've seen/heard it.

Could you share another one you like using?

Idk about idioms specifically, but there's a bunch of phrases I learned from my mom!

Lord love a duck! (Incredulous, like 'oh my god')

Lord suffer in sheep dip! (Sheep dip meaning sheep poop. Incredulous, but for annoying things- like 'are you kidding me?')

Is there a piano tied to your ass? ('Don't be lazy, do it yourself')

Someone's cruising for a bruising. (You're picking a fight.)

I don't give a rat's rip. ('I don't care'- a rat's 'rip' is it's butt crack.)

Pull up a stump! (Get yourself a chair, sit down.)

Everybody out of the pool! (Get out of the car)

I'm flying by the seat of my pants. (I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm doing it.)

Don't go blowing smoke up my ass. (Don't over-compliment me, don't flatter me, don't stroke my ego, don't tell me positive lies)

Looks like it's gonna rain on our parade. (A storm is coming.)

Sorry to rain on your parade. (I've given you bad news- can be used sincerely or sarcastically to denote sympathy for incurring a bad mood.)

Better button that lip. (Stop talking.)

Someone's gonna stick a boot up your ass. ('Stick a boot up your ass'- fight you, beat you, kick your ass.)

Stick that lip out any further, and a pigeon'll shit on it. (Stop whining.)

Suck it up, buttercup. (Stop whining.)

Dumber than a fence post. (Very stupid.)

The back forty. (The wild or forested area behind a rural home. The 'forty' being forty acres, or farmland.)

Don't go begging for a fat lip. (Whatever you're saying or doing is going to bother people and get you in trouble.)

What on God's green earth (What the fuck)

I'm sweating like a pig in a porta-potty (like a pig in a plastic outhouse- I'm very warm, it's hot here)

He thinks the universe flew out of his ass. (He thinks he's more impressive than he is.)

Your mouth wrote a cheque your ass couldn't cash. (You promised more than you were capable of providing.)

You've got a horseshoe up your ass. (You're very, very lucky.)

Taking a dirt nap. (Dead.)

Pushing (up) daisies. (Dead.)

Give me forty acres to turn this rig around. (I need time and space to move this large, heavy, or unwieldy thing. Usually about navigating a vehicle. Taken from a song lyric.)

Jesus take the wheel. (God help me, I can't handle this, I give up.)

Gone belly-up. (Has died.)

We've got a floater. (This one is dead.)

Herding cats. (Trying to organize chaos, managing an impossibly complicated situation.)

I've got a black thumb. (I am bad at growing plants, all my plants die- reference to having a 'green thumb', or being good at growing plants.)

Stop trackin' floor cookies. (Floor cookies are bits of animal shit that fall off your work boots- 'tracking floor cookies' means wearing your boots in the house; take your shoes off at the door.)

Running around like a headless chicken. (Frantic, disorganized, stressed out by many tasks or panicked by a big situation.)

Spinning my wheels. (Waiting around for something to happen, getting nowhere, frustrated by inactivity, not making any progress towards a goal.)

He's gonna blow a gasket. (He's going to lose his temper, he's going to be angry.)

They'll tan your hide. (They'll punish you severely; usually through violence. Specifically in reference to a spanking.)

He's a few bricks short a load. (He's not clever / he doesn't think things through / he's crazy)

Not the sharpest tool in the shed. (Not the smartest person. Very dumb, clumsy, or absent-minded.)

I'm not going to bail you out. (Not going to save your sinking boat- not going to help you out of your bad situation.)

Looks like things are going south. (The situation is growing worse.)

I'll start making tracks. (I'll leave now, I'll start working, I'll get going.)

He's fucking the dog. (He's not being productive, he's doing a bad job, he's made things worse, he's screwing around.)

He's making puppies. (Less graphic version of 'fucking the dog'.)

Plant your ass. (Sit.)

Playing grab-ass. (Procrastinating- accomplishing nothing, slowing people down.)

He couldn't find his ass in the dark. (He's stupid, ineffective, underqualified, or incompetent.)

He couldn't pour water out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel. (He is unbelievably, comically dumb or ineffective. He can't do anything right.)

One foot in the ground. (Dying, or half-dead.)

I'm kicking rocks. (I'm not doing anything productive.)

I'm hauling ass. (I'm running away.)

Madder than a wet hen. (Very, very angry.)

Like I said I'm not sure that these are all idioms but they're all the phrases and sayings from my childhood that I can remember right now

EDIT: Cannot BELIEVE I forgot my mom's favourite

52. Wish in one hand, shit in the other, see which gets filled first. (Wishes don't come true by themselves)

Plus some more I forgot:

53. You make a better door than a window. (You're in the way of my view.)

54. You can take a long walk off a short pier. (Go fuck yourself.)

55. He's about as sharp as a bowling ball. (He's stupid.)

56. Scoot your poot. (Move over.)

57. Not my first rodeo. (I know what I'm doing.)

58. He's built like a brick shithouse. (He's broad and sturdy and very strong, solid.)

59. I smell bacon. (I saw a cop nearby.)

60. I don't want to hear a peep. (Stop talking.)

61. You're thinking with the wrong head. (You're making bad decisions because you're horny.)

62. I'd lose my ass/head if it wasn't tied on. (I'm very absent-minded, forgetful.)

63. That went down like a lead balloon. (That situation was bad.)

#Teaboot

[yurmomsawh0r]

•°His Perfect Little Wife °•

Nanami turning feral over your submissive domestic ways.

• CW : Nanami being a slightly hard Dom, Rough sex, pet names, impact play [If you squint], Cursing, Cervix touching.

Part 2 here

—

Nanami Kento was considered a very upkept man. His colleagues could tell you that they have honestly never seen him discombobulated, or angry or disorganized. Some would say he was the 'perfect' man. He always came in with his calm, cool and collected manner. It was envious that he never seemed to have trouble in his life.

Hair combed back, suit clean and pressed to perfection. Coffee, just the way he liked it, in hand and all documents organized in folders, perfectly set so that he could have a perfect day without any disruptions to his continuous everyday cycle. They always asked him how he did it. How he was able to always have a smooth, uninterrupted day.

And to put it in the most simplistic way that he could, he always replied with a very simple answer. You.

Now to most of his colleagues, they couldn't quite understand what he would mean. How could a simple housewife, who possibly did nothing at home, make sure this very successful man had a perfect day almost every day.

Nanami, of course, never went into detail. Men were greedy, especially these men. He would never give them the many details about how you always turn him into the most discombobulated man ever by just being a good wife.

Even now, his cock was straining in his suit pants with a never ending need for you. You were so on schedule and so on point for him. Always getting up at 6:30 to get his clothes and suit case ready, soon after, starting his breakfast so that by the time he's out of the shower, you both can eat together.

Making his lunch and filling his thermos with coffee so he can take it to work with him. He loved that he never had to take care of the small things in life. You made it easier for him to focus on the bigger picture. You made it easier for him to take care of you. He always made sure that you were well taken care of and the simple fact that you took care of his home, even his smallest of needs, made him work harder to please you.

You were perfect. You were his.

He would've never considered himself a possessive man, but that was until you entered his life, and as much as he would love to brag about you and show you off, something in his just wouldn't allow him to share anything about you. Of course you've been seen with him on occasions, but Nanami never brought you up if he didn't have too. And when anyone would ask about you, specifically a male, he would always give cold answers, his irritation growing quickly.

Apart of him hated you for how out-of-place you made him feel, and that pent up aggression would always be released upon your soft body.

God, your body. He loved how soft you were compared to his rough and hard one. He loved the way his hands sunk into your flesh. Your plump thigh that he loved to grab and squish.

The fullness of your tits (small boobs can be full too!) ,down to the plumply flesh of your ass.

But his favorite was the soft, delicious set of lips that you held between your legs.

"Nanami? You alright there bud?" He didn't realize he had spaced out. Mostly caught up in his head over all the things he would do to you when he got home. He was sweating but his face kept a stoic expression, but no doubt he knew they knew.

For the first time in years, they had just witnessed Nanami acting out of place. Anger silently crept and soon you were going to be at the end of it's wrath.

It was your fault for being so perfect.

Looking at the clock, Nanami quickly grabbed all his stuff, stuffing whatever he could into his briefcase, before he left without saying another word. Gojo cackling in the back ground at his sudden lack of composure. If anyone knew about how you made Nami feel, it would him.

Quickly getting into his car, he sped off, racing home to you.

•

There you were. Slaving away over the hot stove, just too have a nice dinner ready for when he got home. Sadly it wasn't ready as Nanami didn't have to come home for another hour.

He stood there watching you move back and forth. Seasoning whatever meat you decided on for tonight.

You were in a pair of black booty shorts and a regular sports bra that nicely lifted your breast. He couldn't help but give you a once over. Shamelessly letting his eyes fall down your legs then back up, stopping at your ass, before his eyes landed on the back of your head.

Some would say he's being creepy but to him, he was just admiring the woman who chose him to be her husband. You were his and he was going to look and appreciate your beauty whenever he could.

Blood rushed to his groin making him grip his hard-on. It was so hard and ready to be seathed in his second home that resided in the neighborhood of your legs. He thought about the many times he had came home to ravish you. Bent over the bathtub that you were cleaning. On top of the washer machine as you did his laundry. Over the table you had just set for dinner, shit, he fucked you all over the house.

You were unaware that your husband was home. To busy fixing dinner and finishing the rest of your chores to notice. It wasn't until you had bent over, opening your oven to place the stuffed chicken inside. It was faint, and if you could identify the sound it would've been the faintest sound of a zipper pulling down.

You shot up, quickly turning to face the noise. Your breath hitched seeing your husband home so early. "Hi honey, how was work?" You asked, glancing at your phone to check the time.

He was about 45 minutes early which was unusual. When he didn't respond, you faced him again with worry. "What's wrong baby?" A pout graced your lips as you caressed his sweaty face.

"Oh my God, your hot and sweaty! What happened?" Panick filled you. Your husband was home early, not responding, hot and sweaty. You've never seen him like this unless he –

Wait. . .

You glanced down at his undone suit pants, he dick already out and throbbing with need. You could clearly see the shiny bead forming at his tip.

'Fuck' you thought to yourself, 'he's never come home like this before. What the hell happened.'

You lift your gaze to meet his eyes. A soft gasp left your lips. You knew this was serious, seeing as his glasses were already off. No time to think, a hand gripped your throat. A squeal leaving your lips at the same time your arousal started to leak. As if your body was reacting to his. The same intensity, the same heat.

You could feel sweat start to form under your pits as well as your forehead. Nanami placed his warm lips against yours with so much passion. Sucking and biting them. Tasting them like it was his last meal. He backed you into the nearest counter, picking you up but your fat and placing you on top of it. Slowly making love to your tongue with his, he let his other hand drift to the inside of your panties. Finding your little pleasure nub, rubbing with just enough friction.

"Ah!" You moaned out only for it to be caught abd muffled by your lust-filled husband. Nanami felt your slick gathering — hiding behind your folds and sliding down to your entrance. He took this chance to plunge his two middle fingers inside your wet cavern, quickly finding his favorite spot to play with.

"Ohfuckohfuckohfuck!" You couldn't help but break from his mouth to wail out profanities. He was fucking you so good with his fingers that you already had the urge to cum.

Clenching and un-clenching in a repeated cycle over and over again. "Are you gonna cum for me baby? Yea?"

"Yesss Nami! Fuck!" You screamed, making him chuckle. He loved that you were being compliant today. Usually he would have to pull it out of you, but today was different. She knew he needed control. She knew he didn't need anything to make him feel worse than he did.

He had lost control today, and you were going to let him fuck you to get it back. To help him sate his lust and find composure. First he needed to hear you.

"Who's pussy is this baby?" He thrust his fingers deeper in you, but at a slower pace. pushing you to the edge but not over. "Pleaseeee Nami! You know it's yours!"

He sent a smack to your back side. "I didn't ask what I know, I asked you who's is it my pretty little wife." Nanami pressed a quick kiss to your lips before you had a chance to deepen it, making you whine for him.

Sometimes you hated when he acted like this, you hated not getting what you wanted, and that was rare, but the other side of loved his torment. You loved knowing that you were the only one who could make him this way. "It's yours daddy."

"You're such a good girl, and do you know what good girls get?" He spoke to you in a deep husky voice. You loved it. You loved how it made you feel.

Your pussy throbbed around his finger and your pretty sure he felt it. "Good girls get to cum." He smirked, working his fingers faster and faster and faster until the damn broke.

"Ahhh yesssss!" You pulled him closer to you as your hips undulated with every thrust of his fingers. Nanami felt his hand drenched as your essence shot from your swollen wet pussy.

"You made such a mess baby, see? Look." Taking his hand, he smeared your juices on your face before pulling you into a sloppy kiss.

You didn't even have time to catch your breath before he did. He pulled you down from the counter, turned and bent you over the same said counter top. Folding your arms behind your back, he plunged his hot dick inside your spasming cunt. "Ah! Nami! Be g-gentle!"

But he doesn't. Instead he fucked you harder, faster. Deep calculated thrust that penatrated the deepest parts of your canal. Every thrust caused you to stand on the tips of your toes. He was hurting you, yes, but it was a pleasurable pain. A welcomed pain.

He pressed his cock into your cervix as he was fully seathed inside you. He was fueled by every 'ugh' and 'ah yes' you made. Driving deeper into you just to hear you scream 'Daddy!" Everytime.

"Please daddy! It's too deep, it hurts!" You cried out. Your pussy was pulsing as you came, and he was riding your wave to his peak. No matter how much you wanted him to come, he took his sweet time getting there. He loved hearing you beg, to scream his name.

He was feral, and it was all your fault.

With a few more quick thrusts, he stilled himself, shooting his warm seed deep into your womb. You felt it coating your insides — even spilling from your throbbing heat.

"Whew. . ." You felt your husband's breath on your back. He was breathing heavy. He rubbed up and down your back, caressing your asscheeks whenever he could.

"Sorry my precious little flower. I promise to make it up to you."

And he would. How could he not. You were his precious little wife.

And he loved his precious little wife.

#jjk smut #jjk angst #jjk nanami #nanami kento #nanami x reader #nanami #nanami x reader smut #anime smut #jujitsu kaisen #jujustsu kaisen x reader #mature themes #smut

[fraldarrius]

i haven’t gotten paid from my second job yet and i am very annoyed about it 🫠

#literally only got the quickbooks invite at like 1 pm yesterday and didn’t see it until 2 #i filled it all out immediately but i still don’t have a paystub or pay #this job is fun but on my god they’re so fucking disorganized #i still don’t even have a POS code of my own despite reminding the manager multiple times #i hope that’s not why i didn’t get tips last week #if i don’t get tips next week there’s gonna be a damn problem #god both of my jobs are at small businesses and they’re both disorganized as fuck i cant win #i probably won’t get my pay until tuesday now which fucking sucks #bc i doubt the accountants work on the weekend and they probably won’t be working monday either #bc of canada making it a federal holiday #which makes no fucking difference to me bc i have to work anyway at job number 1 #despite us not usually being open on mondays #i am angry about many things rn fjdkkfdkncnd #i just want my money 😭😭😭 #shush sar

[crypticminx]

Hi! I loved ur telling Felix if pregnant fic so could we get a p2? Maby e Felix helping reader a morning sickness. Just fluffy ❤❤

Hi my angel!!! here you go! Xoxo

Pregnancy with Felix ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

AN: part two to my headcanons, very fluffy xoxo

- Felix would grow to be exceedingly close and overbearing of you at all times–all within good reason, of course. You felt incredibly tired? No problem, his usual disorganized bed would be neatly prepped and cozy for you with a cup of tea waiting on his night side table. Morning sickness? He was behind you as you would throw up all of your unpleasant remains from the previous night, holding back your silky hair while he gently circled his palm along your sore arched back in soothing motions

- Felix would favor sleeping in with you even if that foolishly resulted in the ignorant academic missing his first morning class, but you were immensely important to him in comparison to his repetitive lectures. He’d wrap you deeply into his chest, entangling both of your legs and arms to construct some sort of warmth from each of your bare bodies. When you’d finally close your eyes to try and regain your interrupted rest, Felix would slide his hand down to just below your ribs and on your abdomen. Though you were barely showing, he could already feel some sort of connection to what was inside of you and it made him feel affectionately sympathetic. Most of all, it made him cherish you even more and from that moment onward, he was destined to continue to treat you in a way that differentiated him from any other sort of love you had ever received.

- It would be too soon for the two of you to move into Saltburn, a manageable idea Felix came up with on a whim upon the two of you trying to discuss the reality of your soon to be future that included a baby. Felix, who terribly wished he could stay with you to attend to your doting needs at every passing hour of each day, still had his classes to attend. You would carefully decide not to continue any further studies, withdrawing yourself from all your classes. Much to your angry parents dismay as they harshly yelled at you once the whole truth unraveled from your apologetic mouth through the lines of a telephone in an empty hallway. They were far away, convenient enough for you, but hearing their harsh tones of pure disappointment made you mentally feel like you had been hit by a bus; paralyzed with sadness among all your other unwanted hormones. Felix, seeing you shamefully walk back into his room was to the rescue as he tried his best to reassure you. There was nothing more he despised than seeing your pretty little eyes swell with tears that were caused from people who should've been supporting you.

- “Y/n, darling, look at me” he would softly cup your flushed, tear-stained cheeks, “I could pay for your education whenever you'd want me to, y’know?” You only nodded at him, sniffling as you felt yourself trying to keep it together. “In fact,” his dark eyes scanned the room before their full attention was back on you, “what do you say we go get a place together, yeah?”

- Felix was soon to follow in sharing the news with his parents and judging by the huge grin he sported on his gorgeous face after hanging up on the telephone, you knew that their reaction was eons away in contrast to how your folks retaliated. And with everything finally being put into motion, a flat just on the outskirts of where campus was located was hastily granted and approved to you and Felix. “Mum was practically screaming with joy,” Felix admitted as he ran his fingers through his hair, shaking his head in the process while his mind painted the image of his mother beaming with delight at the thought of a Catton grandchild.

- You imagined your flat to be cute, cozy and fitting, but this was Felix Catton we were talking about. Opening the doors after receiving the keys to your shared place, you were stunned at how breathtakingly modern and posh the interior was. A large living room accompanied with what seemed to be an extraordinarily comfortable sofa, marble stained countertops in a kitchen that was larger than your previous dorm room all topped together with 4 exquisite bedrooms. It was a strange feeling, not unsettling, but very downright gracious as you could see everything playing out as if it were a movie. Candles would be lit on the dining table, the mouth watering smell of dinner you just prepared would be flowing in the air, and there would be an eager infant placed on your hip waiting to be fed. As you’re about to feed your young, Felix would walk in, looking exhausted from a tiresome day, but happy to see the two most important people in his life.

- “So?” he would interrupt your thoughts as he could see you relishing the moment. “I love it,” you would breathlessly vow before Felix could only respond by lifting you off of your feet and cautiously twirling you around the hardwood floors of your flat.

- As the months would slowly start to progress and evolve into life with Felix, you felt at ease for once and being able to have time granted to you allowed you to focus on yourself and your pregnancy, making everything less complicated. You could take any given moment to rest and let your body prepare itself for your child. Felix would do everything in his strong willed nature to find the best doctors for you, being in attendance for every appointment with you, and always kept himself in line for having access to all of your desires.

- Changes–lots and lots of changes. Watching your stomach slowly swell outwards was fascinating and you had accompanied a new profound sense of gratefulness for yourself. Most of the girls your age would probably die if they had to say goodbye to their wardrobe of short skirts and tube tops, but that didn't matter to you anymore, what did was your baby. Felix, on the other hand, was constantly in a state of awe whenever he was around you. His protective hands were always placed on your bump, caressing it with the utmost care possible, all while extensively praising you. “So so beautiful seeing you like this, my darling,” he'd gently whisper in your ear as you laid on top of his lean body, enjoying the spell he'd put you under that was his touch. “Carrying my baby,” he hushed, kissing the top of your head, his fingers unable to stop themselves from stroking one of your sensitive breasts. “You're only going to get more beautiful.”

- With all the happiness, there were also many challenges that you faced. Feeling extremely emotional more days than others, it was mainly the rare moments that Felix wasn't home or around to embrace you with his devoted presence that made you feel like you were missing out on a chunk of events that you should've been at. Felix rushing in after a late lecture that took more of his daunting time than it should have, he swung by you, only giving you a quick pat of a kiss on your forehead, before he rummaged his tote bag of schoolwork away on an empty counter. “You're in a rush,” you observed as he changed his button down into something that seemed far more relaxed and calm. “Uh yeah,” he hurriedly spat, focussing more on fixing himself up, “Oliver and I were gonna head to the pub with a few of the guys, celebratory post midterm drinks and all that.'' Oh, you tried your hardest not to sound letdown by the fact that you would probably spend the majority of the night alone on the sofa continuing to read a catalog you had zero interest in. Felix wanted to hurdle himself to the front door, but feeling tension in the air that was so strong he could cut it with a knife, he paused and glanced at your face that was slowly becoming struck with sorrow. In response, he slowly padded his feet towards you. “What's wrong?” His tone was relaxed and not full of distraction. You sighed, feeling guilty for stopping him in his tracks, “I just feel like I've been missing out on everything,” you found your mind speaking out loud, too late in stopping yourself from speaking the truth. “I miss going out with you, being carefree and reckless,” you pouted, feeling like a fussy child. “Oh, sweetheart,” he took a seat beside you, “I can assure you’re not missing anything, in fact, I'd rather be with you all the time.” it was true, Felix didn't care for his past ways, he was more occupied in his life with you and he'd never trade that for any sleazy party. He rested a loving hand on your stomach, “this is far more important to me.”

- Felix’s favorite pastime hobby with you would be picking out names for your little one. Dressed in nothing but cozy knee high socks and an oversized T-shirt, courtesy of Felix, you would lay a journal just above your bump as your attentive ears would listen to all the ideas sprouting from Felix, smiling as his quick mind came up with more suggestions. “Genevieve for a girl?” he gave you a weary smile, not feeling too confident. “It's beautiful, but too posh and old, no? He chuckled, “mum would have a field day with that one,” he exaggerated his expression, raising his pierced eyebrow before rolling his smitten eyes. “So that's a no, I presume,” you giggled as you crossed it out with your pen.

- Your shared moments that were filled with ambience of love were your favorite times. Soaking every ounce of alone time you could get with Felix because before you knew it, the simple times would turn into long sleepless nights—and not the ones you favored the most with him. Felix would run a bath filled with relaxing salts for you to lay in as he would wash your locks and all parts of your body for you, letting his hands do the work as your head would tilt back in ease, letting all your soreness peacefully exit. The moments spent in bed mainly included Felix resting his head on your bump, freely talking to your child as his voice carried you to sleep. “I love you and your mum so much,” he kissed your bare skin with his soft lips, hoping not to stir you out of sleep, “daddy cannot wait to meet you.”

#felix catton #felix catton x reader #felix catton x y/n #felix catton x you #jacob elordi #saltburn #saltburn 2023 #oliver quick #jacob elordi x reader #dad! felix catton #Felix Catton x pregnant reader

[tiyoin]

pt .3 | 📍pt. 4 | pt. 5

this chapter is disorganized cause i refuse to proofread

there was a festering rot in your heart….

you couldn’t explain it.

you were jealous, you were angry, you were frustrated. most importantly; you were tired.

the days mushed together the more you rotted in bed. your stomach seemed to shrink the less you ate, your eyes began to sag the less you slept.

grim has been a doll, really. always trying to drag you on adventures, always tugging you to go to the monstro with him, or just staying back with you to lay in bed.

the company was much appreciated.

yuu tried to help, they really did… but with being so popular there was only so much screen time the protagonist could give you.

there was some resentment.

and there were the reasoning you told yourself;

why didn’t they invite you out with them?

your social life isn’t their responsibility. they have a life outside of you.

how come they didn’t introduce you to their friends? the only ones you knew were adeuce

they’re allowed to have other friends too, sevens why are you so clingy??

why is it okay for them to do spontaneous plans, yet when you do it it’s a bad time?

they’re a busy bee, just like you’re supposed to be… so they have to work twice as hard when your mental health plummeted.

and yet they do it with a hearty smile a word of understanding. cheering you up momentarily with their kind yet blunt words. telling you to take all the time you mean and that they don’t mind any of the work. truly.

maybe it was guilt that stopping you from asking yuu to introduce you to their friends. i mean, they already do so much and yet here you are. a leech.

sucking off their social life, work life, and home life. maybe you weren’t made to have any friends? maybe you didn’t even deserve to be yuu’s friend.

the muffled sounds of the classroom slowly turned to whispers the more you walked along your brains pathways. the more you discovered more negative things about yourself.

why were you here? there could’ve been anyone else here and yet it was you. if there was someone else here they would be more social, everyone would be having a more fun time, and maybe they could be of use to yuu.

maybe they could’ve played more of a role in the overblots than you, after all you just planned it. the group deciding before hand to not let you in on any of the ‘dangerous missions’ that could get you seriously hurt.

yet that’s how they made friends with each other. if you could make friends that way, you would put the blot in people’s stones yourself.

you sighed, head shaking in silent disagreement.

you looked up at the board a few rows in front of you. it was history class, a class you rather enjoyed. albeit the times and dates weren’t my your favorites. but just hearing about all the events in the past, all the tragic wars, the culture, how people lived in the olden days with magic.

you could only daydream about being some kind of royalty and having lovers fight over your hand with a magical duel.

your imagination slowly started to slip into the chosen daydream.

“y/n!” trein’s face appears- alarm bells sounded through your head as you teared your eyes away from your textbook and resting them on the angry, old man.

“because you love the textbook so much, how about you tell us why kind na’jeri decided to stop the caravans from passing through oasis city for several hundred years after the war of ‘the watering hole’”

trein usual scowling face held a hint of amusement, eyebrow quirked up as the top of his lip started curling.

crap. fuck. you knew this. you knew this. after reading about the handsome king na’jeri you know exactly why he did that.

and yet… the question was wrong, the information was wrong. king na’jeri didn’t not just ban caravans from entering the city, he completely locked the city up. no one could get in or out for several hundred years all because of his paranoia.

yet you froze.

eyes staring back at him in horror as you felt your body heat up. you could physically feel the heat slowly travel along your neck and to your face. where you swore you were turning red with how much you were blushing.

you mouth gaped open a slightly closed, like a fish out of water as your eyes flickered between him and the board. between the board and your textbook.

“ you know this y/n.”

no the fuck you didn’t.

if you did then you wouldn’t be floundering like a fish to get an answer.

and it’s just your luck that the first day you came back to school you would get ambushed by trein. you have gym next and you were surely positive the ghost of vargas was haunting you through the classroom’s window.

YOU KNOW THIS

yet with each passing second more pens stopped and more eyes wandered to you. watching you.

you tightened your fist, suddenly feeling like a monkey in a zoo as all the humans picked and poked at you. laughed and sneered at you.

“u- uhh- uh, king na’jeri.. he ih, decided to close off the city to the car-caravans-“ you cleared your throat a phlegm and took a shallow, yet deep breathe.

deep enough for you to calm your nerves, shallow enough to not make your breathe look obvious.

“he decided to cut off all paths to the kingdom instead of just the kingdom itself. the king was ex-extremely paranoid that the devastation from the war, and another war would happen again if they let outsiders in.” you paused, quick to have your mind catch up.

trein just gave you a nod as the mischief left his face, he opened his mouth to keep going but you weren’t done.

“so-“

“go-

there was an awkward lash of sentence starters.

the boys sitting on either side of you tensed. it was never a good idea to cut off trein. ever. it was never a good idea to talk when he was teaching, let alone talking as that gave you a one way ticket to detention.

you apologized sheepishly, eyes breaking from his as you went to back to mindlessly scanning your textbook. trying to appear busy as you waited for you punishment.

“if you have something to add, then go ahead” looking up, trein gave you a nod as

“s-soo he didn’t just ban caravans from entering the city. in a book i read, they said that he prevented everyone from entering and leaving the city for several hundred years because the paranoia ate at his blood line. there were so many casualties that roughly around 40% of the population was wiped out so to prevent that, the king and the royal family decided to take radical measures..”

“beautifully put y/n.” he smiled, nodding in approval as a spark ignited through your chest, you fought back a giddy smile. you felt so energized. you content...

your smile faltered.

you can’t remember the last time you were so happy.

grabbing your pen, you went to your notepad and started taking notes. started doodling. started doing whatever to distract yourself from the feeling.

“y/n, stay after class for me?” you paused, the grip you had on your thick textbook loosened. curling your fingers against the perked spine, you managed to save it before it crashed down onto your seat.

“ye- yea..” looking back, you shared a look with yuu as adeuce around them started chatting.

waving off the trio, you said you were fine and that they didn’t have to wait. you’d hate for them to miss lunch.

they started walking off the podium, as ace, yuu, and grim all bantering about something you didn’t bother to tune in for.

you weren’t involved in the conversation after all.

“hey y/n” you looked back up, no, down as you saw deuce in front of you. he had an uneasy look on his face as his arms were tightly holding his books against his chest. a little blush adorning his cheeks as he looked up.

“you’re more than welcome to come with us to the cafeteria, you know that right?”

puzzled at where this was coming from, your eyes watched the backs of the redhead and the ravenette as they laughed merrily through the doorway.

you looked back at a now determined deuce, “it get that it’s hard to adjust to a nice environment, believe i know” his smile faltered.

the eyes were the window to the soul as you saw nothing but compassion, understanding in the murky depths of his blue eyes.

the heat came back as you looked to trein. he was sat down at his desk writing. yet this pen seemed to hover too long in the air to be considered ‘writing.’

“i- uh, yeah!” you blurted out, nodding as that was the only thing you could trust yourself doing.

quickly packing up your stuff, you sped down the isle and down the steps and down to deuce.

you should’ve stayed up there, was the first thought you had once you were in front of the fellow freshman.

fixing your hair, you looked back to trein, whose pen was writing a mile a minute, showing no previous signs of stopping.

“ye- yeah! uh, i’ll definitely remember that!” you took another deep breath, finding the courage to once again look him in the eye.

it made everything too… real for you. your body surged uncomfortably as you once again thanked him. “i appreciate it deuce, truly”

the smile on your face felt so natural, so… real that you couldn’t help but look up at the crimson boy.

you could almost chuckle at how the color of his hair contrasted with the red paint on his face. it looks like they missed a rose.

“uh- ye- yeah! no problem! i’m gonna go now” and with that, he ran off.

not before tripping over himself, a loud screech from his sneakers echoing the lecture hall. he looked back bashful, before he sprinted out.

“i’ve never seen a boy in this class get so flustered. and me calling on them unprepared doesn’t count” you brought your attention back to trein.

and yet a horrifying thought bubbled in your head.

you didn’t pass the bechdel test.

i got lazy. plus i have class el oh el

tag list: @xingyunny

#oh my god azul and jamil sandwich #HAHAHAH OMG I HAVE PLANS I HAVE PLANS #twisted anxiety 🌀 #twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #tiyoin 🔎 #deuce x reader #deuce spade x reader #silver x reader #kalim x reader #azul x reader #leona x reader #malleus x reader #idia x reader #vil x reader

[madpunks]

i love you if you're mentally ill and/or neurodivergent and can't hide your symptoms. i love you if you tic, if you space out for long periods of time and lose track of conversations, if you react to hallucinations, if you laugh and talk out loud to yourself or to your system members, if you get scared and panic and have to react, if you run from perceived threats, if you get angry and irrational when something triggers your paranoia or trauma, if you can't help getting scared and dependent, if you have a low stress tolerance, if you have disorganized speech and word salad, if you stutter, if you can't control the volume of your voice. you are loved.

#autism #actually autistic #schizophrenia #neurodivergence #neurodivergent #mental health #mental health awareness #mental illness #anxiety #depression #ocd #tourette's #schizoaffective #schizospec #bipolar #bipolar disorder #ptsd #adhd #did #osdd #dissociative identity disorder

[cardentist]

this is all gonna be very disorganized and rambly, but

"the male loneliness epidemic" as a concept is like.

does anybody remember when it was common knowledge in feminist spaces that part of the Point of feminism was recognizing that All groups of people were negatively impacted by sexism?

I Remember the ridiculous "mens rights activist" era. I REMEMBER feminist talking points at the time pointing out that it was Toxic Masculinity that contributed to things like men not being able to be vulnerable with the people who care about them, or men (or Boys) not being taken seriously as rape victims.

and the point of this Wasn't to blame men for their own pain, to blame men for the system that they were negatively impacted by. but to point out how Feminism Was Meant To Help Them. how it was Sexism that needed to be dismantled to address the things that these very ridiculous men were angry at feminism about.

and now it's just like.

not only have people not learned this lesson, it's becoming increasingly Extinct as a concept even within feminist and activist spaces.

I Do find "male loneliness epidemic" silly as a term. it's particularly strange to me that there have been several articles ran about it.

But Ultimately This Would Not Be Necessary If The Climate Was Different.

like. the term is silly, I'm sure the articles are silly. but it is just Objectively True that men are statistically more likely to kill themselves. the exact number fluctuates depending on the study and the years they were conducted, but this has been Consistent for literally decades.

and it just ! feels abjectly cruel to watch people act like acknowledging something Like This is stupid. to watch people lump in men together As A Class and more or less victim blame them.

why should We care about Men when it's Men who are sexist? if Men care so much about being Lonely then then why [screenshot of 4channer]

a conversation on sexism creating a system where men are emotionally isolated, are discouraged from vulnerability, from relying on the people around them emotionally, are discouraged from affection, Is Good Actually.

like ! I really do wish that people didn't take a nose dive into gender essentialism and decide that men and women are just categorically and fundamentally different from each other. that if one suffers then the other must only be the one that inflicts suffering. that to recognize the pain of one is to deny the pain of the other. when that is Literally Not How It Works.

it's not about why Women should care about Men. it's about recognizing a facet of sexism that is negatively impacting PEOPLE and discussing it in the hopes of starting a long term conversation about it. to potentially encourage change and reach the people that need to hear it.

because All People are victims of sexism, All People can enforce sexism, and All People benefit from recognizing these facts and working together to undo the effects of sexism on a wide scale.

and I Dunno. I think it's really telling that some people actively choose Not to show basic human decency and compassion towards people if they can get out of it. if social convention in their circles say that X group of people don't Deserve It.

we live in a time where compassion fatigue is a real issue. where we have to process more atrocities on a daily basis than the human mind was ever meant to handle. but I still feel like human suffering should just like. Matter As A Baseline. it shouldn't be anyone's job to Convince You that it's worth caring about, you should just care about people.

#discourse #long post #male loneliness epidemic #I'm either gonna get zero notes or a beehive #but whatever #I needed to vent this out of my mouth

[gremlingottoosilly]

so i know that in your monster au sometimes the human pets are dragged around on collars and leashes and it gave me an idea. do you think that similar to how we have pet obedience and training courses the monsters would sign up any rowdy human to learn some manners or do they prefer to correct bad behavior themselves?

Like i’m imagining a bunch of monsters in a room with their scared or angry little pets on leashes teaching them to shake or roll over (or maybe even present themselves) or maybe like agility classes for the eager to please/advanced level pet

I feel like most monsters would rather break their pets themselves. This paradigm shift on humans isn't a universal one, and actually treating humans as pets and wives are kinda disorganized from monster to monster. With Konig, for example, his little pet is treated more like a wifey - he would let her chill with other people around from time to time because he is tired of his pet acting so desperate all of the time - but he wouldn't trust other monsters with a very particular art of breaking his pretty baby in. He should be the only one who touches you, really.

Horangi is more inclined to let others train you - he doesn't have the patience to break you into wearing a leash, and he hates disobedient pets who he can't play with, so the poor girl is going to "enjoy" spending time with other pets - humans or weaker monsters - who are deemed unruly and need a helping monster hand to take them in place. Poor thing, other monsters are so cruel, you would beg for Horangi to stop bringing you to them just so you could snuggle with him and wear everything he wants without a pout. If you aren't a cat hybrid, he will make you wear the tail and ears anyway - but if you are his dumb and spoiled prized kitty, then he would have a freaking field day of making you succumb to being just a pet after these lessons.

#cod #konig x reader #monster!konig #horangi x reader #monster!horangi

[sinnashuart]

Zack's ADHD

Zack fair has ADHD. That's something I see tons of people acknowledge that I myself agree with, but a lot of it feels very shallow/surface level? I mostly see people talk about his diffculty paying attention, but never really explore a lot of the other symptoms of ADHD that he very clearly has. In general, ADHD has symptoms that can be put in two categories. These being inattentiveness and Hyperactivity/Impulsive behavior. I'm going to try to go into each symptom I've seen him display. Going through things that fall under inattentiveness since that's what most people focus on first and foremost! Obviously, Zack has a short attention span. The opening of Crisis core has Angeal setting him back on track multiple times, and has to remind him of his mission. That bleeds into another symptom of ADHD, which is having a hard time listening to or following instructions.

Another few symptoms of ADHD under inattentiveness is being disorganized, forgetful, and making careless mistakes. Zack has shown to fit under all of these things in DMW scenes. One in particular features him both losing materia AND forgetting his sword.

Again, we see that he's a messy person when he's talking to Aerith in another DMW scene.

Now I'm going to go into the symptoms that fall under Hyperactivity. Some of the most talked about symptoms he exhibits are a lack of ability to stay still, excessive physical movement, and excessive talking. Noteably too, people with ADHD can have difficulty controlling the volume of their voice, or how fast they speak. For example here, Zack is told right before to calm down by Angeal, and immediately proceeds to talk loudly (giving away their position.)

Circling back to the previously mentioned symptoms, trouble staying still and excessive movement are some of the few things I feel people notice first in correlation to ADHD, but never really think about what it really is in the context of ADHD. Zack tends to do squats when he's excited. It's a repeated motion he does to calm himself down and/or focus. Sound familiar? that's because it's stimming. Interupting conversations lines up with ADHD, and is something Zack does in-game too!

Here he interupts Angeal's speech (and gets a fond smile in turn. I will bring this up later for something else). Zack is impulsive by nature, and tends to rush into things without a clear plan. He has a very absent sense of danger sometimes as well. All of which fall under the Hyperactivity category of ADHD symptoms.

The symptoms I see in Zack that hardly a soul has acknowledged though, is him being easily frustrated or irritated. ADHD makes it hard to regulate emotions, and Zack showcases this a lot throughout Crisis Core. For Zack, this sometimes seems to fall under under Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, which is common in people with ADHD. It's a discomfort and difficulty regulating feelings of failure or rejection. For Zack, this also takes the form of confusion/frustration/annoyance. However, in most instances of him taking criticism, he mostly manages to move past his and take the criticism/corrections to improve himself. Funnily enough, you can see his quick frustration/irritatrion in the very first cutscene when Angeal jumps down to elaborate on the parts of the mission he missed because Zack jumped a bit too soon due to his eagerness (more impulsivity). Zack gets angry due to this interuption to the task he was focused on, and becomes cheerful as soon as he is able to get back to his task. The frustration with interuption and being quickly upset is interesting. There are more instances of this kind of behavior, and it all really feels like it falls under this umbrella of him struggling to regulate his emotions. This also goes hand in hand with his stimming, since it isn't just the frustration/anger he has difficulty managing. His excitement and stress is something we also see him have difficulty managing, and can be tied into a lot of the other aspects of ADHD I have discussed here! Zack gets frustrated again later when Angeal ends the training simulator, and puts an end to the task he had been hyperfocused on.

It's an irrational anger, but it makes more sense when read through this lense. Zack was excited and hyperfocusing on his mission. He charged ahead without hearing or understanding the full objective, and almost got hurt (in the context of the training sim). The sim was ended before Zack felt it was "finished", which resulted in a frustration he expressed outwardly. His hasty behavior and exciteability is a core character trait, but makes far more sense if you read him as a character who lives with ADHD. How he is written and how other characters interact with him is interesting to watch as well! One thing in particular I love a lot is Angeal's treatment of Zack's ADHD tendencies. For being in the military, which is a very unforgiving enviornment, Angeal shows quite a lot of compassion for Zack's ADHD tendencies. Things that would normally get him into trouble are instead corrected rather gently! Angeal consistently repeats instructions to Zack when he needs it, and keeps a firm hand when he guides Zack through missions. He never tells Zack to sit still. He never berrates him for his interjections (Zack going "And? And and and?"). The only time he really scolds Zack is when he's doing something that may endanger them.

For example, here they're on a mission that requires stealth. Zack being loud isn't normally a problem, but here, they need to be relatively quiet in order to achieve their goal. Angeal is compassionate and understanding when Zack is... doing things that are very ADHD coded. As mentioned earlier, Angeal doesn't get upset when Zack interupts him. Instead, he just smiles. It's likely Angeal was the one who taught Zack to do squats to stim, actually. In the Ever Crisis version of Crisis Core, Angeal says this to Zack. Although it's not necessarily canon, it's still entirely plausible and just. Very wholesome.

More of Angeal's tolerance for Zack can be seen here, when Zack's attitude slips after being criticized, and Angeal pays it no mind. (Again, his rejection sensitive dysphoria plays a part in having him react rudely)

Again, you need to keep in mind that despite their closeness, Angeal is still both his mentor and superior. He doesn't have to be as patient with Zack as he is in-game, but he does so anyway because... that's just how he is. Angeal cares a LOT about his loved ones, and Zack is included in this. He shows a lot of love to this little guy! I think it's nice, because I love seeing characters with ADHD being treated with consideration by others. It's something I wish people did more IRL, really. Lots of ableism surrounding aspects of ADHD that aren't as easy to romanticize and considered "annoying", so having Angeal respond to them with understanding makes me incredibly happy. Altogether I just absolutely love Zack as a character. I love reading him with ADHD since I have it myself. I just want people to see the depth to it more though, since there's more to it than just "he's high energy and gets distracted". You get to understand his actions or irrational behavior a lot more when you dive past the surface of his writing. Big, massive, enormous fucking thanks to my bestie @rune-rapier for letting me bounce ideas to and from him!! He helped me get a lot of these scenes in here to analyze, and brought up a LOT of points that made it in this post, and made it a lot easier for me to word.

#this took forever #i started working on this... what? 3 hours now? #have to say. truly outdid myself this time LMAO #big fan of how it became an angeal appreciation post. semi accidental. FDSLKGELKFGJE #i just want people to understand that he isnt. being ableist or anything. #he's doing his job. #tag time!!!! #final fantasy 7 #crisis core #ff7 crisis core #angeal hewley #zack fair #ff7 angeal #ff7 #final fantasy vii #ffvii angeal #zack ff7 #ff7 zack #zack fair has adhd #adhd #rejection sensitive dysphoria

[onyourowndaisymae]

when satan falls in love

content + warnings: satan x reader, satan's in his demon form and his tail is Not Cooperating, fluff // [masterlist]

word count: ~1.4k

satan's feet drag along the floor as he journeys from the front door to his safe haven. he stopped hiding his demon form the moment he trudged through the door-- now his heavy footsteps and the ominous drag of his tail against the ground are what tell people to stay away. the barbs catch a little along the wood floors. lucifer will bitch at him again when he notices, but right now satan isn't the least bit worried about his older brother's opinions.

the door to his room shuts with a loud thunk! the bookcases shudder with effort, the disorganized book stacks groaning with a quiet threat of toppling over. the noise echoes to his high ceilings, then dies amongst poetic words and fantastical novels.

he collapses on his bed and groans testily. his tail flicks about, impatient, looking for things to destroy-- he knows if he gives into his destructive urges he'll only regret it later. he's lost countless tomes to a fit of rage, spent hours cleaning up his messes only to piss himself off more.

satan rolls over and closes his eyes, practicing his breathing exercises to calm himself down. what had him worked up this much, anyways?

lots of things. his brothers had been especially rowdy today, starting his day off with an unusually irritating breakfast. then he had a surprise quiz early in the day. at lunch, you were whisked away by lord diavolo for some bullshit reason or another. he can still picture the apologetic look on your face, waving over your shoulder with a slight frown as you had to abandon him in favor of your responsibilities. pair that with a few hellish classes and another surprise student council meeting, and you'll understand why satan is particularly testy today.

damn. after all this time, he'd grown much better at making sure he could handle massive slights that pissed him off. it's the stacking of little things on top of each other that presses his buttons.

in truth, he'd probably be better if he'd seen more of you lately. lunch just seemed to be a tipping point in the drought of your love. how long has it been since he's been able curl up with you at his side? since he's gotten a moment to have a proper date with you? the tangled emotions only make his blood boil more.

his emerald eyes catch something unfamiliar at the edge of his vision. he knows the layout of his room top to bottom-- any minor changes to his disorganization are noted fairly quickly, regardless of what others might think.

there's an envelope peaking out of a nearby bookshelf. it's subtle, but noticeable enough when he believes he was intended to find it. his first instinct is to be angry. who the fuck thought they were entitled to access his room when he was gone?

satan rises from his bed and angrily snatches the envelope from its hiding spot. he's ready to rip it in half in a destructive fit of rage when he spots your handwriting on the front. the fire inside of him settles to embers as his eyes follow the curl of your letters as you wrote his name. he could spot that handwriting anywhere. the "s" in his name swoops with grandeur, like you're going out of your way to be fancy, and he can't help but smile a little. he opens the letter carefully-- there's no way he won't keep whatever this is, all because it came from you-- and begins to read your familiar scrawl across a nice piece of stationary.

my beloved satan,

i've missed you! that's odd to say considering we live together, but... life seems to find new ways every day to keep us apart. it's weird to look back on my day and realize i've barely seen you. we barely get a peaceful lunch together anymore! there's always someone joining us or pulling one of us away before we can settle... i don't mean to sound clingy, but i don't think it's bad to want to have some alone with your boyfriend!

as i'm writing this, i'm cooped up in diavolo's office during a little break in some meetings. there's some trouble with some of their human world contacts, so i've been brought in to act as a "bridge" between the two. that apparently means sitting through lots of boring, professional talks and trying to pretend like i'm not about to fall asleep. barbatos made some really nice tea, though, and that's been my saving grace so far.

i can't wait until we find some alone time again. i've never found something more peaceful than cuddling up to you while you're reading and listening to you breathe. if i rest my hand on your chest, i can hear your steady heartbeat, too. you always tease me for being so sleepy and run your hand along my back, but who wouldn't fall asleep under those conditions? i just feel so at peace when i'm with you. nobody else can make me feel so safe and cared for. even when we're not together, knowing you're there for me makes each day better.

was it weird of me to write this as a letter? i hope not. you hear about people writing their lovers romantic love letters in the movies and books. i thought i'd give it a try. it's nice to have a physical reminder of someone's feelings for you. ticket stubs and stuffed animals are nice, but i wanted to give you something that illustrates my feelings more clearly. i adore you. you mean the world to me. i feel like it's harder to say things like that when you look at me, but here in the letter i'll say it as many times as i want to. you are my best friend, satan, and i'm glad to have you as my partner.

i hope this letter makes you smile. i'm planning on hiding it in your room, so hopefully it'll take you a bit to find it.

yours always,

mc

so much for him waiting to find the letter.

in the quiet of his room, devoid of all distraction except the gentle whir of the air leaving a nearby vent, satan realizes he's in love with you.

his body freezes. for these past few weeks, he's intellectualized his feelings for you-- it's not love, but adoration. infatuation. lust, even. but no. he can feel the realization settling on his shoulders like a warm blanket fresh from the dryer.

when he was created, all satan would feel was reckless, horrifying, world-ending rage. it consumed him like a wildfire during a dry season, devouring any part of him that might be redeemable with the crackle of wild grass and the unforgiving heat. but meeting you changed him. his smiles were no longer plastic, but easy and natural. his irritation often simmered in his chest instead of exploding from his lips as harsh words, now just huffs and sharp glances.

you made him better. he knows now there's more to him than wrath. every single positive change in his life ever since you came to the devildom was driven by you.

he takes a deep breath to calm himself. instead of wrath, he's fighting the flush creeping up the back his neck. he reads the letter again, then again, each time sparking something in his stomach that he had to push down.

love. so this is what it feels like, huh?

he's read his fair share of sappy stories, but they all pale in comparison to the real thing. it's unsettling for him to be bursting with positive emotion, but here he is. flushed, stiff, listening to the silence as his heartbeat pounds in his ears. it takes him too long to realize that his tail was swishing behind him, thumping against a nearby chair enthusiastically. that only embarrasses him more-- is he really so in love with you that he's wagging his tail like a dog?

originally, he thought to corner you right now and show you just how much he appreciates the letter. but with his body acting out like this...

satan takes a seat his desk, digging around until he finds some suitable stationary, a writing feather (pretentious, he knows, but he can't ignore the urge to be so traditional), and an inkwell. if you were exchanging letters to express your feelings, now, then expect him to write you the best damn love letter you've ever seen.

taglist for this series: @deepseafragments // @darkflowerav // @annoying-and-upset // @katerinaval // @lurkingsnails // @chirikoheina // @all-mights-wife // @notareum

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #obey me nightbringer #obey me nb #obey me satan #obey me satan x reader #obey me x reader #obey me fluff #otome