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#but less so because he can actually improve when he puts his mind to it
chelseeebe · 4 months
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still into you
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after abruptly leaving hawkins (and you) seven years ago, eddie munson, ex-boyfriend turned rockstar, makes a grand return. how will things pan out when your lives couldn’t be further apart?
this has been in the drafts for god knows how long and you can definitely tell where my writing started to improve as i came back to it.. hope y’all enjoy anyway! this is so long good lord. also includes a bit of bestfriendism with stevie!
18+. mdni. smut. mentions of alcohol. eddie is a dickhead. no use of y/n!
read part two here.
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‘you know he’s coming back next weekend?’ steve mutters, nodding towards you as you rip the sellotape from the brown box, beginning to stack the cans of soup.
‘is he? oh my god oh my god,’ feigning excitement with a straight face.
you’d already known he was coming back, you’d received the invitation just like everybody else. except, you’d swiftly put the gimmicky piece of paper into the trash and got on with your day. confused why everyone else seemed to be losing their goddamn minds over it.
he huffs quietly, helping you with the heavy tins, ‘are you gonna go?’ steve didn’t actually work in melvalds but came in on his breaks purely to chat and distract you from your work.
‘am i gonna go? hmm, let me think.. no.’
‘he wants to see you.. you should come,’ prodding his elbow into your side, collapsing the box into a flat piece of cardboard.
‘you spoke to him?’ ears perking up. you didn’t care if he’d mentioned you. no, really.
‘yeah.. he called a few weeks ago, y’know when the invitations got sent out,’ picking up the next box to start filling the shelf.
‘oh! it’s nice to know he called you and just hilarious to know i never got a phone call,’ getting frankly quite sick of hearing about eddie fucking munson and his grand return.
once upon a time, eddie had actually been your boyfriend. must’ve been 7 or so years ago by this point.. anyway, that was before he’d got his big break and decided that he was going to completely forget about hawkins.. and about you. you’d still been together after his first tiny tour, excitedly waiting for him to come home when he just.. never did.
he’d had the decency to at least call and tell you that he was breaking up with you.. we’re just in different places right now.. it’s not you.. i don’t want you to ruin your life waiting for me..
it was essentially a whole bunch of bullshit, because the very next month he was spotted with some bottle blonde model looking suspiciously close at some club he’d have absolutely hated the year prior. it was like a punch to the gut, flicking through the pages of the trashy magazine just knowing that you hadn’t been enough for this new lifestyle of his.
from then on, you’d decided to disengage with any and everything about him. turning the tv off when corroded coffin came on one of the morning talk shows, leaving the room at parties when one of his song’s inevitably came on and just completely blanking out of the conversation when his name was brought up. it was easier that way, saved your feelings and the awkward glances you’d get.
at some point things had become slightly more complicated and you’re not sure how exactly it had happened but you had wound up pregnant. and by jason carver no less. maybe it was your shared disdain for eddie that had brought you together. who knows?
but it had happened and now you had to deal with it. and although jason may come in a close second to world’s biggest assholes.. you had gained a beautiful daughter from it all and had become quite content with your single mom life.
people had come and gone, robin jetting off to some fancy college in california.. jonathan and nancy ending up in new york at some hot-shot newspaper.. the kids you’d sort of gathered had all gone off to various colleges, becoming adults themselves. all except for steve.
steve had stayed in hawkins like you, begrudgingly following his father’s footsteps, getting a job at his accounting firm. it was good money and kept his dad happy so he couldn’t fault it really. he’d even got his own place just down the street from your house and at some point you’d just accepted that he was probably your only friend in hawkins.
it had brought the two of you undeniably closer and maybe you’d even call him your best friend now. well, except for right now as he was beginning to piss you off with all this fussing over eddie.
‘you have to come.. it’s not just for him, everyone is going.. it’s a reunion,’ steve continues to pester you despite your efforts to shut him down.
‘steve, i’m not going and that’s that.’
he sighs, staring at you with a blank expression, ‘okay, well.. i’ll tell him it’s a maybe,’ checking his watch before frowning, ‘shit, i’m late.. i’ll see you later,’ throwing the empty cardboard to the floor before dashing off down the aisle, giving you an exaggerated wave as he disappears.
you just knew that he was not going to drop this until you agreed to go. but he could kick and scream as much as he liked, you had absolutely zero desire to go this flimsy reunion and even less desire to see eddie in the flesh.
-
it’s another dull week of stacking shelves and managing a team of absolute morons and before you know it, it’s the day before that fucking reunion and steve is still as incessant as ever that you must go.
‘my mom can look after ella.. please just come,’ he sounded like he was a second away from getting on his knees to actually beg you to go.
you’d started to just ignore him now, getting on with whatever you were doing, choosing to give him the silent treatment. he hated that.
‘you’re so annoying,’ he scoffs, still helping you unbox the bags of chips, ‘will you just come for five minutes.. you don’t even have to talk to eddie, it’s the first time we’ll all be together again.. puh-leaseee,’ breaking into a weird sort of sing-song tone.
you exhale through your nose, visibly frustrated by the man, ‘i’m going to ban you in a minute,’ raising your eyebrows, taking the same tone you used when ella was being a brat.
‘no you won’t,’ furrowing his brows, ‘what if i promise to stand in between you the whole night? i’ll beat him with a stick if he even tries to talk to you,’ completely serious with what he just said.
you chortle, covering your mouth as one of the elderly customers walks past, slightly bewildered by the noise that just escaped your mouth, ‘couldn’t you just beat him with a stick anyway?’
‘ehh.. not really, he is paying for the whole thing,’ straightening the bags of air he’d just placed on the shelf, ‘i mean, i could if you really want me to.’
you roll your eyes, of course he was. he’d rented the fanciest restaurant just outside of town for your gaggle of pals. any chance to flaunt the fact that he’d made it out of this hell hole and left the rest of you in the dirt.
‘i have a child, steve, i can’t just go out and leave her at home.. some of us aren’t free like you are,’ turning to face him with a stern hand on your hip.
‘i just told you my mom’ll look after her.. she hasn’t seen her in so long and.. and you can stay at mine and i’ll take you to her first thing in the morning,’ his eyes are round, glimmering in the harsh overhead lights.
‘i don’t have anything to wear,’ shrugging, you really didn’t. becoming a mother isn’t quite so glamorous and a lot of clothes you’d once fit into had become a little tight.
‘when d’you finish?’
narrowing your eyes at him, ‘two..’
‘great.. okay well, i’ll take a half-day and we can go shopping.. on me,’ wiggling his eyebrows at you. the thing about steve is that he believes that most problems can be solved by throwing money at it.
he wasn’t wrong, of course.
because you reluctantly agree to go shopping with him on the condition that you weren’t definitely going to this thing. you were just going to try on dresses. that was it.
-
you get a cab to the restaurant, there was no way in hell you were doing this sober nor did you want to subject steve to being sober for your sake. palms clammy as you clamber out of the vehicle, immediately regretting your decision.
no one would care if you didn’t go, right? you could quite easily just get back into the taxi and go home without forcing yourself to endure the night.
steve’s one step ahead of you, grabbing your hand so you can’t run away. throwing him an awful glare but you weren’t really mad, just annoyed that he’d succeeded in persuading you to come.
‘c’mon.. it won’t be so bad once you’re in there,’ smoothing down his fresh shirt as he begins to walk up the winding path, dragging you along behind him.
he’s wrong. it’s so much worse inside. the place was huge, extravagantly decorated and full of people you’d once regarded as your best friends, all too busy in their own conversations to notice you and steve walk in.
it wasn’t like you hadn’t heard from them, it had just been through occasional letters and christmas cards rather than seeing them face to face. robin would call sometimes, fill you in on whatever she had been up to and beg to speak to ella who absolutely loved it. you were sure they were on the same wavelength.
you look to steve with wary eyes, digging your fingertips into his hand, ‘we could just leave right now.. no one would even know,’ tugging gently on his arm.
‘hey,’ he whispers, ‘it’s okay.. look, robin’s coming over, we’ll say hi and see how you feel,’ using his spare hand to wave at the bubbly girl, dropping your hand to give her a hug.
‘oh my god,’ she rushes, ‘how are you? you look so good.. and i don’t mean you,’ pulling away from steve to throw her arms around you, her gentle hands rubbing on your back.
‘hah, it’s nice to see you too,’ steve rolls his eyes, grabbing two of the champagne flutes being ferried around by fancy waiters.
she pulls back, ‘i didn’t think you were coming.. how are you doing? how’s ella?’ the words falling out of her mouth at super speed, it was as if her mouth moved before her brain did.
‘i wasn’t gonna but i wanted to see you guys,’ you nod, taking the glass from steve’s outstretched hand and taking a lengthy sip, ‘i’m okay.. ella’s okay.. you’ll have to come and see her before you leave.’
‘i will i will! i literally landed like two hours ago and had to rush but i’m back until friday,’ her hands flying around as she spoke, ‘come and say hello..’ her arm intertwines with yours as she leans in closer to your ear, ‘he’s staring y’know..’
your eyes roll back on their own, not even wanting to search the room for him, ‘i’m not speaking to him so he can stare all he likes,’ straightening up as you approach the group robin had left.
nancy’s talking to max about something in incredible detail but is quite to stop when you approach, mouth in a small ‘o’ as she hugs you, ‘you came? i thought we were gonna miss you,’ grinning wide when she pulls back.
you give an overdramatic sigh, ‘of course i had to come.. you’d all miss me too much,’ waving to the rest of the group.
there are a lot of small pleasantries swapped, asking about their journey’s here and how they’d been.. standard small talk. but then el asks to see a picture of ella, ecstatic that their names were so similar. you’d come prepared, pulling the creased picture out of your bag.
they all gush and coo over her, it was a picture you’d snapped from her first day of kindergarten, cheesing with her pigtails and pink hair bobbles. passing it around the gathered group, still steadily sipping on the bitter champagne.
‘who’s that?’ eddie asks, you hadn’t noticed him sidle over to the crowd, stood peering over lucas’ shoulder at the photograph.
your eyes meet his, seeing his face for the first time in what felt like centuries. he looked older, obviously, still sporting the same long curls except now it actually looked as if it’d been styled. he’s in a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up, forearms now littered with tattoos and a nice looking watch. your heart just about stops beating when you realise you’ll now have to explain exactly who that is.
‘uh.. that’s ella,’ you nod, not quite meeting his eyes, ‘..my daughter,’ taking the photo from lucas’ hand, the atmosphere had quite suddenly shifted and people begin to scatter, starting their own conversations so they don’t have to bare witness to this one.
‘oh.. oh, right.. well, congratulations then,’ the shadow of a smile on his lips, could he feel how fucking awkward this was?
‘thank you,’ giving him a half nod, startled as steve’s hand brushes the small of your back. he’d seen that you were in conversation and had left dustin to fulfil his security guard promise.
‘it’s nice that you two found each other.. you have a beautiful daughter,’ still not fully committed to smiling but he was getting there.
your face contorts, immediately looking to steve before letting out a god awful cackle, ‘oh no.. she’s not steve’s,’ covering your mouth before another taunting laugh comes out.
steve is trying to stifle his grin but fails, reaching his hand out to shake eddie’s hand, ‘ah man, no ella’s not mine but she is beautiful, isn’t she? how are you?’
you’re eternally grateful that he he’s managed to sway the conversation and you aren’t forced to explain why or how you’d had a child with jason fucking carver. turning back to robin as you hear steve ramble on about work and corroded coffin’s new album, something you had absolutely no care about.
‘shall we get another drink?’ robin asks, eyeing the open bar and your empty glass.
‘please.’
the rest of the night is going.. relatively well. it’s kinda unsettling to watch the younger kids drink legally, getting more boisterous and loud as the night progresses. it’s nice, if not a little sad just thinking about how you weren’t really able to enjoy yourself at their age because you had a newborn.
you must’ve been deep in thought as you don’t even notice eddie creep up to the empty table, standing awkwardly besides your chair, ‘can we talk?’
your eyes shoot up to meet his, baffled by his presence, ‘what could we possibly have to talk about?’
he exhales through his nose, ‘uh.. a lot? we don’t have to do it here.. i have a room upstairs or.. outside?’
‘no,’ gripping onto your glass of wine, desperately trying to grab the attention of someone behind eddie to come and save you, ‘i don’t want to speak to you.’
he’s exasperated, clutching onto his beer with strained white knuckles. how were you ever supposed to move past this when you wouldn’t even give him the opportunity to explain himself. but that was exactly it. you didn’t care about any of the silly excuses you’re sure he’d conjured up, he did what he did and that was that.
‘i’m trying here..’ sounding exasperated, ‘how ‘bout dinner? sometime this week, on me,’ his voice is deeper now, raspier. you figure as a result of constant partying and chain smoking while on tour.
‘i have a child and a job.. i don’t have time for dinner with you on top of that,’ swallowing the rest of the sweet white wine, putting the empty glass back on the table with a forceful slam.
you make brief eye contact with will who was passing behind eddie and decide to take the opportunity to pounce, standing from your chair and rushing over the second he nears your table.
‘will.. hey,’ speeding to catch him up, mouthing a small save me, clinging to his arm as you move away from eddie who was stood deflated at the table.
will thankfully catches your drift, steering you towards the bar, ‘you okay? i was just about to leave..’ placing his empty glass onto the bar with a soft sigh.
‘what? no.. if i can’t go then you’re not allowed either,’ talking sternly to the boy even though he now towered above you and just about everybody else in here.
he screws up his face, looking over to the dance floor, ‘it’s just..’ sighing once again, ‘awful, isn’t it?’ following his gaze to an intoxicated mike performing an elaborate air guitar routine in the middle of the floor.
it wasn’t exactly the same, but you could empathise with the difficult situation and that foul feeling in your stomach that you were sure he could feel too. you could imagine that it wasn’t easy to see the man you’d once, or perhaps still loved after so long. in fact, you didn’t really need to imagine at all.
deciding it was better to change the subject, distract him from the unraveling scene on the dance floor, ‘d’you smoke?’
he looks around quickly, watching out for a listening jonathan, you assume before he nods quickly, ‘but no one can know,’ a hint of a smile creeping onto his face.
you return the devilish grin before hooking your arm in his, pulling him towards the door where you could get the hell away from annoying men and their long black hair.
-
it’s gone three by the time you get back to steve’s, genuinely having to coax him from the party and into the cab you’d shared with a belligerent dustin, making sure he had got home safely.
‘i wasn’t too mean, was i?’ snuggled up in steve’s blankets, facing each other in the low light of his room.
‘nooo, no you were on fire,’ he laughs, he was still tipsy and slightly reeking of booze as he lay next to you.
‘really? you’re sure?’ he was definitely just drunk and blabbing on but you’d take it.
‘yes.. it was perfect,’ he hiccups, interrupting his sentence, ‘buuut.. and i’m not the only one who said this so don’t kill me..’ kissing the back of his teeth, ‘you’re not gonna like what i have to say.’
‘what? what is it?’ prodding his shoulder with a quick jab. knowing eddie, he’d probably gone round the party whispering some bullshit about the two of you.
‘well..’ holding his hands in the air, ‘there’s still chemistry there.. y’know i could see it,’ raising his eyebrows, hands collapsing onto the blanket.
‘right, i’m going to sleep.. you’re drunk and just saying stupid shit now,’ rolling your eyes as you settle into the soft pillow, closing your eyes so you no longer had to entertain his idiotic nonsense.
he chortles, hiccuping mid-laugh which makes a horrid choking noise, ‘i’m not that drunk.. robin said it too,’ the lamp clicks off, darkening the room, ‘and dustin..’
‘go to sleep steve,’ unamused and tired.
‘okay okay.. goodnight,’ he calls, you can hear the smile in his voice as he turns to face the other way, taking that as your opportunity to rest your head on his back, nuzzling into the soft cotton t-shirt.
-
monday is particularly awful and you’re reminded exactly why you don’t drink often. two days on and you’re still exhausted, half-heartedly filling the shelves and just trying to make it to two o’clock.
in your tired state, one of the bottles of shampoo you were putting out, falls out of your hand and rolls off somewhere down the aisle. you sigh, a deep, fed-up, exhaustive sigh and get up to go and fetch it when the bottle appears before your face, a tattooed, ring-filled hand latched onto it.
‘carver? really?’ eddie frowns, watching you from above, eyebrows furrowed together.
you place the bottle onto it’s rightful spot on the shelf and choose to ignore him. if he’d come all the way down here just to piss you off about your poor life choices then he could get fucked.
‘when’d that happen?’
blanking him again as you continue to put stuff onto the shelves. this was the easiest way to guarantee that you weren’t going to get yourself fired for being rude to him.
‘you gonna ignore me? i just wanna know,’ still poking and prodding, he clearly wasn’t very good at picking up on context clues.
nothing.
‘fuck, can you just talk to me for five minutes?’ your silence was driving him crazy, aggravating him to no end.
‘i’m at work, so no,’ hurriedly trying to finish the stock you had so you had an excuse to rush out the back and away from him.
he was fortunate that it was a quiet monday, the store full of mostly older ladies who had no idea who he was. you sorta hoped that he’d get mobbed and would have to hurry off and leave you alone.
‘why jason? out of literally everyone else in this shithole you choose jason?’ screwing his face up in disgust.
you slam the box cutter down with a loud clatter, causing a few turned heads and raised eyebrows. fuck ‘em. if you had done what you’d really wanted to do, you’d be locked up forever.
‘i don’t know if you remember this but my boyfriend of like, two years ran away and never came home so yeah.. that kinda fucked with me a little and lucky for me, jason carver was there and also hated my ex’s guts.. so it was perfect, you know?’ staring flatly at him, you were not dealing with his shit today.
eddie scoffs, ‘so you had a kid with him? and now.. what? you play happy families just to spite me? is that it?’
‘yes eddie, i had a whole child just to piss you off.’
he gawps back at you, clearly also did not possess the ability to sense sarcasm.
‘no,’ scowling at him, ‘it was an accident and now he’s.. i dunno, coaching basketball at some school in ohio or some shit.. why don’t you go and bother him?’
‘so you’re not together?’
you can only roll your eyes in response, in sheer disbelief that he’d made such a fuss because he couldn’t just outright ask if you were single.
un-fucking-believable.
you’ve had just about enough of this conversation, pulling your little trolley back towards the swing doors that lead to the warehouse. at least he wasn’t allowed in there.
‘wait! wait..’ he grabs onto the other side of the trolley, stopping you from walking off, ‘have dinner with me tonight or.. tomorrow?’ eyes big and pleading.
‘now why would i do that?’
‘because i want to explain myself.. i need to.’
one of the younger shoppers notices who he is and begins trying to talk to him, coming over to where you two stood rather excitedly. eddie is kind enough to smile and give her a few polite words, eyes still latched onto yours despite the ecstatic woman beside him.
‘okay,’ honestly just wanting to get away from all this commotion, ‘tomorrow.’
his scowl subsides, replaced by a gleaming grin, ‘six o’clock.. pino’s, i’ll sort it, okay?’ already starting to walk away from the crazy woman.
‘right,’ you nod, pulling your trolley away and into the back warehouse, leaning against the concrete wall. the whole exchange was tiring, knocking whatever tiny bit of energy out of you.
were you actually gonna go?
absolutely fucking not.
-
by the time six rolls around the next night, you really had forgotten all about it. rushing to get ella her dinner after swimming lessons, already worrying about paying for yet another field trip she’d sprung on you earlier. you’d begun to wonder if they even taught in the classrooms anymore with the amount of permission slips she brought home.
she’s finally settled into bed, after much protesting and a lot of coaxing. you’re just about to finally relax on the couch when someone hammers on your front door. and if you weren’t already pissed off with ella’s whining, you were most definitely about to be with whichever mindless prick was banging on your door.
‘what do you want?’ you hiss, jerking the door open to reveal a pathetic looking eddie on the other side, face forlorn and dejected.
he’s in that white shirt again. it makes you sick to your stomach to admit that it really does look good on him. his arms now more defined, the cotton sticking to his muscles, briefly showcasing the new tattoos underneath. maybe he’d actually got off of his ass and did something other than smoke weed all day.
‘oh so you are alive, d’you forget about something?’ he’s snarling now, having conjured up some elaborate excuse in his head as to why you hadn’t showed, only to find you at home, seemingly with no care in the world.
‘oops,’ the corners of your mouth twitching into a smile, you hadn’t even actually meant to stand him up, you were just gonna call his hotel and cancel but the thought had just completely slipped your mind.
and even if it shouldn’t, it really did feel good. knowing he was the one sat waiting for you for once.
‘oops? i sat there for an hour waiting for you and then spent the last hour trying to convince dustin to give me your fucking address.. and all you can say is oops?’
you shrug, ‘feels pretty shitty to be forgotten about, doesn’t it?’ tilting your head, watching as his face falls. he’d been got.
‘okay.. okay, i get it, and i’m sorry.. there’s not a day that goes by that i don’t feel like shit for how i treated you,’ his head dips low, looking particularly sorry for himself.
and for a second you do too. not that he deserved it. quickly having to remind yourself exactly what he had done to you, which was not at all helped by the fact that he now had everything he’d ever wanted in life.
and you couldn’t fault your life. truly. but fuck did it sting sometimes, to know that your life had stagnated, stuck in the same shitty town you’d grown up in while he was on the other side of the country, more money than sense and a hoard of doting fans that would do absolutely anything he’d ask of them.
‘good,’ you bark, going to slam the door shut only for it to bang against his black boot wedged in the door, ‘if you don’t move your foot i’ll- i’ll call the police.’
‘no you won’t,’ his hand reaches out to grab onto the other side of the handle, he could’ve easily pushed his way in if he’d really wanted, ‘let’s talk.. like adults,’ begging you now, ‘please.’
you huff, this would end with you either letting him in or being forced to wake ella after you bashed his head into the doorframe. it was easier to just accept the first option and you’d find some bullshit to get him to leave later on.
opening the door wider to let him in, keeping your eyes square on the ground as he walks through, peering around at your home. probably comparing it to his mansion in the hollywood hills the pretentious fuck.
‘nice..’ he nods, leaning in to look at the photo of you and ella a few christmas’ ago, she was tiny then, sporting a miniature santa hat.
‘yeah well, she’s asleep upstairs so.. make it quick,’ you frown, closing the door behind him, watching as his eyes take in the cluttered room, smile fading when he catches sight of the singular picture you have up of jason and ella.
‘i can’t believe you chose to fuck jason of all people.. i mean, i’ve made some shitty decisions in my life but..’ he stops himself from going any further when he sees your face, if looks could kill, he’d be long gone by now.
‘did you come here for a reason? or are you here to talk about my life decisions.. because i really don’t want to hear it from you,’ crossing your arms over your chest, wanting him out of your house.
‘no.. no, shit- i’m sorry,’ he shuffles on his feet, banging his head, ‘i wanna talk.. properly.’
you roll your hand to motion for him to continue, ‘go on..’
he inhales, chewing on the inside of his cheek, trying to psyche himself up to actually say what he wanted to say. it wasn’t that he didn’t know what to say, he just couldn’t string it together to make sense.
‘i’m sorry for the way i treated you.. it wasn’t right and i know that now,’ his hand coming to rub the back of his clammy next, why was your house so fucking hot?
‘okay.. apology accepted, was that everything?’ you say flatly, glancing up the stairs to make sure ella wasn’t awake and out of her room.
his face falls, ‘can you just.. just let me explain,’ his adam apple bobbing as he swallows, ‘why don’t you sit down..’ motioning towards your ratty couch.
you relent your stern stature, hesitantly going to sit on the couch, trying to ensure that he couldn’t possibly sit next to you by sprawling your legs out onto the empty cushion. so he takes the seat furthest away, running his hands down his tight jeans. designer, no less.. the only person you knew stupid enough to spend thousands on designer jeans just to tear holes in them.
‘when i ended things with you, i wasn’t.. well, it was me, but i had my manager screaming in my ear that it’d never work and he could hook me up with some fuckin’ model.. it’d help the band.. so that’s what i did,’ and for once, he looked genuinely remorseful, fiddling with the loose threads on his expensive jeans.
‘so you sold out? that’s your excuse?’
his head shoots up, mouth hung open with absolute disgust all over his face, ‘i am not a sell out.’
which is incredibly refutable, you’d heard a snippet of one of their recent songs on the radio at work and it had sounded exactly like the commercial shit he used to rag on when you were together. not a touch on the corroded coffin you sat and watched practice for hours on end.
‘oh? so you didn’t break up with me to further your career? you just wanted to fuck hot models? which one is it ‘cause i’m a little confused here,’ completely losing it, springing up from your slouched position.
‘okay, yeah.. yeah i did, i broke up with you because i wanted to fuckin’ make something of my life.. and look at where i am and look at-,’
‘-don’t you dare finish that sentence,’ you snap, gritting your teeth together as you near his face, positively shaking with rage.
‘what’re you gonna do? you gonna hit me? do it,’ his chin tilted to match your elevated position, eyes glued to yours.
‘i should.’
his lips twitch into a smirk, ‘you won’t.’
and before your brain has the time to really process your next movements, he balls his fist into your t-shirt, causing your chest to collide into his as his lips smash into yours, knocking the air out of your lungs.
scrambling to find his shoulders for balance, sliding one hand onto his stubbly cheek. it’s all teeth and tongues, he’s ravenous and unrelenting, letting go of his grip on your shirt to place his hands on your hips, ‘move,’ mumbling against your lips as he attempts to manoeuvre you onto his lap while twisting around.
he slides down the couch, keeping a solid hold of your body as you find the right position. your legs are either side of his waist, sliding into the gap between his body and the couch sitting right on his crotch. wasting absolutely zero time in connecting your lips against, honestly not wanting to run the risk of him opening his mouth and ruining this.
his large hands find solace on your ass, creeping up to remove the oversized shirt you’d thrown on. you place your hand above his, restricting him from moving any further. it’s not that you were embarrassed- okay, maybe you were a little. but your body had changed since becoming a mom and eddie had become accustomed to gorgeous models and perfect women that he’d certainly not want to see your boring, frumpy mom body.
he groans in protest, trying again to lift the shirt further only for your fingernails to dig into his hand, ‘no,’ speaking into the filthy kiss.
eddie pulls away from the kiss, fingers coming to gently brush the hair from your face, ‘you can’t be serious? i’ve seen it all before,’ he grumbles, fingers itching to try lift it again.
‘not like this you haven’t.. i just.. want it on, okay?’
‘no- why won’t you let me take this off?’ fingers curling around the hem, already trying his luck with getting it up again.
you sigh, meeting his blown out eyes with your glossy ones, ‘i don’t even know what i’m doing.. fuck,’ attempting to climb off of his lap while the spare hand he has on your ass clamps you down, keeping you pressed to him.
‘hey.. hey, keep it on.. i don’t care,’ already trying to chase your lips, ‘i’m just saying, you don’t need to,’ the denim covering his growing erection starting to rub against your throbbing clit, the sparse material of your pajama shorts were not leaving much to the imagination.
‘jesus christ, just take it off,’ giving up in your protest, it was useless against eddie’s persistence.
you press your lips to his the second your shirt is off, there was no time to judge your body if he couldn’t see it. pulling at his jacket to get it off, the metal buttons digging into your now bare skin.
‘i didn’t.. i didn’t mean.. what i said..’ babbling through the kiss as he shimmies out of the jacket, landing on the floor with a soft thud.
‘shut up,’ you whine, running your hand along the length of his chest until you reach the hem of his black shirt, gripping your fingers around the fabric and lifting it slightly, exposing his midriff, the soft trail of hair ascending the skin.
his head jerks backwards, allowing you to tug the shirt off, finally allowing his eyes to wander to your chest. ‘holy shit,’ he remarks like he’d never seen a pair of tits before. it’s futile for him to pretend that he hadn’t seen some amazing boobs in his time so you scoff, rolling your eyes.
working your hand at his belt buckle, fiddling with the metal until it pops undone. he’s hard already and it makes you groan, brushing your hand over the raised denim. this week seriously must’ve been difficult if he was getting hard so easily over you.
it doesn’t ever occur to you how much of a mistake this was. and even if it did, you didn’t have much time to ponder on it as his hands are grabbing at your breasts, palming them as his lips suck at your jaw and down onto your neck softly. guaranteed to leave a lovely violet mark that the old ladies at work would certainly gasp at.
he’s helping you with his jeans, one hand gripping onto your waist to keep you steady as he lifts his hips from the couch and the other hurriedly yanking them down just enough to reveal his boxers. that’s the next port of call, fingers grabbing at the thin black cotton, pulling them down his thighs as his cock springs into action.
eddie’s lips are still on your neck while you mindlessly wrap your hand around his cock, pumping your fist as you shuffle upwards. his breath hitches in his throat, still peppering sloppy kisses to the sensitive skin.
‘oh god,’ he whines into your collarbone, feeling his eyelashes flutter against your jaw. for a man who had been painted as womaniser in the media, he sure was still just as pathetic as he used to be underneath you.
you’re a little annoyed that it’s you who’s taking control right now. after so many years of disrespect from his end, you think he at least owed it to you to take charge.
your hand grabs onto his shoulder, pulling his face from your neck, ‘be quiet, okay?’ sitting taller to position yourself comfortably, the harsh fabric of the couch grazing your knees.
he nods, sliding his hand up your waist and back to your hip, taking in the sight of you. you wouldn’t ever admit it aloud, but truthfully, you really did miss him sometimes. missed the way his pretty pink lips looked after being glued to yours or the way he gazed at you doing the most mundane tasks.
you cant your hips, sinking down onto his length slowly, biting down onto your bottom lip as his cock fills you to the hilt. his eyelids flicker, fingernails digging into your doughy hips. it’s been a little while since you’d done this so you have to take a second to become accustomed to the slight stretch. it’s good, in the most masochistic way.
your hands cling onto his shoulders, watching his slack jaw, tiny breaths escaping from his mouth as you attempt to move. painstakingly slow at first, knees beginning to shake as you try to remember what you should even be doing. your cheeks flushing, feeling so incredibly embarrassed. the man was fucking models and then you’re here, pitifully trying to ride him. it’s awful, you know it’s awful.
his arm comes to snake around your waist, taking matters into his own hands and flipping the two of you around, your back suddenly pressed into the couch. holy shit. you appreciate the initiative, wrapping your legs around his waist, readjusting your grip on his shoulders.
‘need you a little faster than that darling,’ large hands digging into the couch either side of your head. you’d feel utterly mortified if you weren’t thoroughly enjoying the sight of him looming over you, his hair falling beautifully into your face.
eddie starts slow at first, moving his hips slowly, obviously well versed. your mouth opens but no noise escapes, well aware that you weren’t the only ones in your house. instead you pant softly, desperate for his lips to grace yours again.
it’s not long before he’s quickening his pace, unable to contain himself when you feel so perfect around him. ‘i missed you- fuck, i’ve missed you so much,’ he groans, keeping his voice low despite wanting to start screaming.
you don’t reply, too fucked-out to even think about words. eyes drooping as his cock nudges against the soft spongy spot no one other than him had been able to reach.
the couch creaks beneath you, the old thing unable to keep up with his rutting hips, the top of your head knocking into the arm rest every time his hips collided with yours. your living room had never bore witness to such filth and as quiet as you were trying to be, the sounds are indistinguishable.
having to bite down onto your lip when his thumb meets your clit, legs tightening around his waist with every soft circle he draws around the sensitive bud. eddie was never bad in bed but holy shit, maybe money had done something right for him.
he sits up, soft sighs falling out of his lips as his hand disconnects from your clit, sliding toward your knee and positioning your leg onto his shoulder. your nails press into his forearm, willing yourself to stay quiet even now he’s seemingly trying to kill you.
and through it all, he’s smirking. relishing the way you’re writhing around, trying not to cum when he nudges against that sweet, spongy spot this position allowed.
his thumb finds your clit again, ‘holy shit sweetheart.. you gonna cum?’ grunting softly with every thrust.
you’re positively wrecked beneath him, face pressed into the couch cushion as your stomach flips. panting into the fabric, incoherent ramblings of eddie’s name and a bunch of curse words fill the room.
‘cum for me baby.. shit,’ struggling to keep his own pace as you tighten around him, leg trembling around his neck as your orgasm takes over. pleasure overtaking your limbs as your hips buck instinctively, thankfully muffled by the couch.
‘oh my god,’ you breathe, struggling to see straight when your eyes eventually reopen, gazing up at eddie above, certain he’s about to draw blood from his teeth digging in to his lip.
‘where.. where shall i- shit,’ he squeezes out, feeling his hips begin to stutter, eyes rolling to the back of his head. he’s just about quick enough to pull out, thick ropes of cum paint your thighs. narrowly avoiding the couch.
if you had the energy to get annoyed, you would’ve snapped, but in all honesty, your brain was still reeling and anger was the last thing you felt.
eddie reaches over, ever the gentleman and grabs his shirt to clean his mess. didn’t matter to him obviously, he had more than enough money to buy another.
and there it is. the bitterness filling your body again the second he’s no longer on top of you, or inside of you rather. you attempt to bite it down.
‘you wanna talk now?’ he asks, pulling his boxers back up to a more respectable position.
‘i’m tired eddie,’ and you are, on a school night like tonight you’d have been fast asleep by now.
he sighs, shoulders slumping over. even after you’d just had the most mind-altering sex, you couldn’t speak to him. ‘please,’ pleading with you almost, desperate for one more chance.
maybe it’s the exhaustion or maybe the dopamine still pumping through your brain but you concede, pulling your shirt back over your head before motioning for him to speak.
‘i don’t have any excuses, i’m just-,’ he sighs, turning on the couch to face you fully, ‘i’m sorry for hurting you, i was wrong and i know that,’ his eyes are dipped, peering at you from underneath his spindly lashes, ‘why d’you think i’ve avoided this place for so long?’
‘i don’t know? because you’re a pussy? because you’re too scared to face me?’ letting the words rattle off your tongue without much thought.
‘because i’m embarrassed,’ he corrects, without much offence, ‘because i’m ashamed and feel like i owe you more than some dick and a shitty apology.. i just didn’t know how i could ever make it up to you,’ half-moon eyes glossy in the low light.
your heart thumps in your chest, blood echoing through your ears. eddie munson, world renowned rockstar was sat on your couch, apologising for something you should’ve forgotten about a long time ago.
the years of hatred and avoidance come tumbling down in a millisecond. all you’d ever wanted was to hear him say sorry. to admit that he’d fucked you over for a life of fame and now you had it, you weren’t exactly sure what to even do with it.
‘okay.. now what? are you gonna make it up to me? because i want to believe you eddie, i do.. but you can’t just traipse in here and expect me to forgive you like that,’ the tears roll over, sliding down your warm cheeks.
he nods, grabbing onto your hands in a last ditch gesture to show his sincerity, ‘i’m going to.. i-i want to,’ he’s still nodding, bringing his face closer to yours, ‘tell me how, i’ll do anything,’ adam’s apple bobbing with every word.
‘stay here,’ your eyes are trained on him, ignoring the blurred vision, ‘not forever, just for now,’ lips pursed, ready to be broken once more.
you half-expect him to come out with some sorry excuse, tell you he had to get back to his hotel so he couldn’t possible stay here.
but he doesn’t.
eddie takes your hand, tugging it gently and with words you don’t register, babbles something about bed. so you follow him, allowing him to guide you to your room and slide in between the sheets next to you.
everything is so gentle, soft and pure. something you hadn’t felt in a long time.
-
‘hey.. sweetheart,’ eddie’s hand gently shakes your arm, whispering into your ear, ‘you awake?’
you squint in the dim light, feeling his hand descend onto your waist, chest pressed against your back, ‘i am now,’ you grumble, it was early.. early even by ella’s standards.
‘i gotta go.. you got work today?’ he asks, making no effort to actually get up and leave your bed though.
you nod into the pillow, rubbing your sleep heavy eyes. in your sleep hazed state, you shuffle, moving backwards against him.
‘okay.. shit- don’t do that,’ strained as you shift against him, unknowingly brushing against his cock, ‘i’ll be back.. after you..’ he’s losing it a little now, ‘after you finish..’ lips pressed to your ear.
you were moving deliberately now, just ever-so-slightly rocking your hips back and forth, you could feel him growing against your ass.
‘i can’t..’ he groans, grip tightening on your hip,
‘please,’ you breathe, reaching backwards to find his mop of curls, taking a fistful for leverage as his own hip’s thrust into your backside, his low growls only spurring you on.
you had been on your own for so long now, could he really blame you?
eddie doesn’t leave for another hour, creeping out of your house with his head low and a shit eating grin plastered on his face.
-
the key turns in your door as you’re loading the dishwasher. you’d given steve a spare for emergencies but it seemed to get used for anything but.
he slinks into the kitchen where you stand with your back to him, ‘hey,’ already knowing who it was.
‘well hello,’ announcing his presence, something about his tone of voice already seemed off, he sounded short, annoyed almost, ‘how have you been?’
‘i’m good..’ you spin to face him, puzzled by his strange demeanour, ‘how are you?’
he’s holding onto something behind his back but you can’t quite catch a glimpse, ‘actually.. i’m a little pissed off,’ you can tell he’s not completely serious by the hint of a smile on his face.
‘hmm? why’s that?’
he looks around the room expectedly, ‘oh i don’t know.. you don’t have anything to tell me, do you?’ shaking his head, still gripping onto this mystery object.
‘no..’ narrowing your eyes, determining whether he knew what you thought he knew.
he did, he one hundred percent did. holy fuck. he’d figured you out already. eddie had opened his big, stupid mouth and told dustin, who would’ve told steve and god knows who else. fucking moron.
‘no? soo..’ his pulls the magazine from behind his back, flipping it to the page he’d already saved, ‘this isn’t real then?’ shoving the glossy pages into your face, ‘because to me.. this looks an awful lot like eddie.. at this very house,’ he jabs his finger at the pixelated image, ‘and this little blob here.. that’s you, no?’
you’re utterly gobsmacked. mouth hung open in pure shock. because that most definitely was eddie.. and your house.. and you. you hadn’t seen anyone with a camera, hell, you hadn’t seen anyone on the street at all.
‘and correct me if i’m wrong, but is this not our friend eddie leaving your house the next morning?’ showing the next image of him leaving your house the day after, hair unruly and messed up, holding his denim jacket in his arms as he climbs into his car.
your mouth moves but no words come out, croaking as you struggle to meet steve’s eyes. completely speechless, there was no feasible excuse. you had been caught with your pants down. literally.
‘i can explain,’ waving your hands around while steve stands smug against the kitchen counter. ‘..no i can’t,’ shoulders slumped as you blink at your best friend, no you really couldn’t. suppose you could’ve come up with some lie about a look-a-like you’d been seeing but that would’ve made you look particularly strange.
‘were you ever gonna tell me?’ he’s almost hurt that you hadn’t ran to him to tell him immediately. this was true best friend gossip and you’d kept him from it.
‘i was! steve.. i don’t even know what happened- he came over to apologise and then we were arguing and then.. then we had sex and it’s not my fault..’ you’re trying, and failing, to contain your smile, flashing your cheeky grin to your best friend in the hopes he would let this slide.
‘i can’t believe you didn’t tell me!’ jutting his bottom lip out, ‘so, you’re getting back together?’ his eyes sceptical yet sparkling with a sense of hope. you’re grateful that all he seems to care about is the fact you lied. or actually, withheld the truth as you preferred it.
‘no.. well.. no, we had dinner together yesterday and he might’ve stayed over but no..’ shaking your head, ‘he’s leaving again soon and we both know what happened last time..’ you shrug, leaning back against the counter, ‘i guess i don’t hate him now, that’s good isn’t it?’
steve looks perplexed, ‘wait wait wait.. so you’re just.. screwing around? and then he leaves again, that’s it? what’s the point?’ taking a seat at the small kitchen table, fully engrossed in the conversation.
‘i dunno.. i guess that’s it?’ you hadn’t really thought about the fact that he’d be leaving again, in fact, you hadn’t really had time to think much at all about what was happening.
you’d just sort of acknowledged that at some point he’d go back to california and you’d stay here and whatever was happening would.. end? it wasn’t as if you were going to be super upset about it like you once were. lots of people fuck their ex’s.. this was fine.
because that’s what this is, right?
just sex with an ex?
‘that’s it?’ steve reiterates, looking completely flabbergasted that the woman who once left the room whenever eddie munson’s name was mentioned was now being so casual about this.
‘yeah,’ you shrug, not wanting to make a massive deal out of it though you could always rely on steve to be over dramatic on your behalf.
‘no,’ he straightens up in the chair, ‘all of this can’t be for nothing,’ sounding utterly exasperated, ‘you two obviously belong together so why don’t you go for it? i could see you living it up out in la.. big house, big car-,’
you cut him off before he can divulge into his delusions any further, ‘i think you’re getting ahead of yourself steve,’ shaking your head at his ludicrous attitude.
you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about it once or twice but it seemed silly to start imagining this crazy life together after all these years. he’d barely just made it into your good graces again, you were hardly going to run off to california with him. it was utter delusion.
‘okay okay..’ he scoffs, ‘but i still think you need to talk to him. i don’t want you getting hurt again, okay? just make sure that you’re both on the same page,’ nodding as he stands from his seat and begins to rummage through your cupboards for something to eat.
he was probably right and you knew it deep down. you weren’t keen on being the one to bring the conversation up, not after that first night. after you had sobbed in his arms in bed, letting him soothe you to sleep with a bunch of probable empty promises.
-
when eddie lets himself into your house a few hours later, steve’s eyebrows fly up his forehead but he doesn’t say a word. instead, he nods at the man, keeping his opinions to himself.
the pair of you resemble an old married couple, except you’re the grumpy old man with your wife cuddled into your side. your wife being steve that is.
‘oh.. is this uh, something that happens often?’ eddie asks, settling into the empty chair across from you. slightly miffed that steve was nestled into your side.
‘yup,’ you nod, smiling at him your chin resting on steve’s head. he hadn’t a reason to be jealous, you’d really rather poke your eyeballs out with a fork than do anything remotely sexual with steve.
‘right.. yeah okay,’ eddie says, looking perplexed but sitting back in the chair. if he was going to stick around then this would have to be something that he got used to. because you sure as hell weren’t going to stop being so close with steve for the guy that broke your heart at eighteen.
‘you want a drink?’ you ask, realising that you should probably be a good host even if it was only eddie.
‘yeah sure.’
you untangle yourself from steve and trundle off into the kitchen. steve takes this as the perfect opportunity to grill eddie on his intentions, sitting up straight and making sure that you were really gone before beginning his interrogation.
‘so.. you two?’
eddie shrugs, not wanting to get into it with steve after such a long day.
steve sighs, leaning toward eddie, ‘i’m gonna say this once.. but if you hurt her again, i will kill you,’ staring the other man down. contempt in his eyes. he was dead serious too.
‘i’m not- i’m not gonna hurt her,’ eddie sits up, praying that you’d hurry back with this damn drink.
‘i mean it eddie,’ raising his eyebrows, ‘you didn’t see how she was after you left.. i’m not going through that again, i’m not letting her go through that again.’
‘steve-,’ eddie blinks, stopping himself as you re-enter the room. hoping that you hadn’t heard their conversation, he’d only just got you to stop hating him. he wasn’t prepared to go back to that like, ever.
‘what’re you talking about?’ placing the bottle of beer in front of eddie and collapsing back into your spot on the couch.
‘football,’ steve answers quickly, groaning as he pushes himself off of the sofa, ‘i’m gonna head home, got work in the morning but i’ll see you tomorrow,’ he smiles, winking at you from above.
‘okay,’ you utter, sounding more like a question than a statement, watching carefully as he gathers his things without so much as a glance at eddie. you can only imagine what was actually said but that was truly none of your business.
you’d just grill eddie later to make sure steve hasn’t been too much of an asshole.
‘byee,’ you call out behind him, already eyeing a sheepish eddie. this’d probably be it. you’d known it was coming at some point, you just weren’t sure of when.
if steve’s sudden departure was anything to go off, you were probably right.
the door clicks shut and you turn your attention to eddie who was still sat on the solemn chair. oh god. maybe you had got a little used to having him around again and now to know that it’d all be coming to an abrupt end once again.. yeah you felt a tad shit.
‘what’d you say?’ you ask outright, it made zero sense to beat around the bush.
‘me?’ he looks almost offended, ‘i didn’t say shit.. didn’t get the chance to,’ but he’s smiling ever so slightly and your heart relaxes.
christ you were so stupid. letting him back into your life just to let him walk away a second time. perhaps you’d done something horrific in a past life to deserve this same fate twice.
‘so what did he say?’ you press, unsure of if your even wanted the answer.
eddie sighs before coming to collapse on the couch next to you, ‘it wasn’t important.. look, i wanna be honest with you,’ his hand comes to grab yours and you freeze, bracing yourself for what was inevitably going to come next. ‘you mean a lot to me and.. and i don’t want you to think that i don’t care or that i’m just leaving you again,’ his eyes are focussed on yours, full of what you hope is sincerity.
you don’t reply, instead you nod slightly and urge him to continue. this was it. the kicker. 
‘i’ve gotta go back to la next week,’ his grip tightens around your hand, ‘but i’m coming back as soon as i can, okay?’ he’s serious too and you’d like to believe him but if the past was anything to go by, you weren’t eager.
you nod silently. fuck this. once again, you were sat before eddie munson, listening to his plans to jet off to la. it felt like the cruelest case of deja-vu. if anything, you want to kick yourself for even allowing him to wiggle his way back into your heart. most people know better after the first time.
‘it’s three weeks.. maybe a month, but i’m coming back, i promise,’ he pleads, hanging his head low. he knows there’s absolutely nothing he could say to you that would make you believe him but he had to try.
you hum, frowning just a little before finally replying, ‘i’ve heard that before,’ not meaning to sound as snarky as you did, but it was true.
‘i’m serious, i’m not.. not gonna lose you again, i’ve learnt my lesson,’ his eyes are big and pleading and you’re thrown right back to being eighteen, listening to him convince you how going to la would be the best decision.
‘so.. what? you’re gonna come back to hawkins just to see me? i don’t-,’ you sigh, as much as you wanted to believe him, it just wasn’t plausible in your mind, ‘i just don’t understand, are we together or are you just coming back to fuck? you don’t have to, you know? i’ve made peace with it all and i’m fine.. you don’t have to lie to me anymore.’
if anyone was going to fuck this up, it would be you. that’s for certain.
‘what the fuck?’ he exclaims, genuinely flabbergasted, ‘this is me telling you that i’m serious about this.. about you,’ he takes your hand into his properly, scooting around to face you fully, ‘i love being here with you, and ella and there is nothing out in la worth more than this,’ you think he might just start crying, or you might. or perhaps both of you.
you sniff, not wanting to speak in fear of bursting into hysterics. it was all just so confusing and weird. you’d grown accustomed to eddie being on the other side of the country and now suddenly he was back in your life with what seemed like a a declaration of love. it was just too much to handle. and maybe you blame yourself a little, for not truly thinking about the implications of fucking your ex that had abandoned you years prior. but now it all just seemed to be hurtling in the most intense direction.
you were the one that had told him to stay after all. because really, you could’ve kicked him out, refused to ever even acknowledge him again. but you hadn’t.
‘are you telling me the truth?’ is all that you manage to squeak out. baring resemblance to a small child.
you really must’ve looked pathetic, eyes brimming with tears, bottom lip quivering as you hold in the implosion of emotions. it’s always scary being vulnerable with someone, let alone someone that once meant so much to you.
he still did. as much as you’re absolutely petrified to admit it, he’d weaselled his way back into your heart and now here you are, a mess of emotions and perplexing feelings that are too complicated to handle.
‘i promise you,’ he sighs, clearly fed up of your whining, ‘i’m coming back this time.’
and maybe you’re stupid. maybe you’re still hung up on some high school relationship that ended long ago but you can’t help it, you nod.
idiotically believing him because what else can you do after letting him into your home and your heart again.
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tlou-reid · 5 months
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!smut, mdni!
thinking about spencer reid who has had a crush on the pretty BAU agent at the desk across from him ever since she started. she has been so swamped with work and paperwork and life recently and spencer notices the small changes in her behaviors because he notices every little thing about her. he sees the tighter grip she holds on her pens, making the ink bleed through the paper just slightly. he notices the way she starts to slam her coffee cup on the desk as opposed to gently sitting it down. he notices the heavy uptick of the amount of cups she’s having.
and it’s worse when they’re given a case. naturally, since they get along so well and since they’re probably the two smartest people in the world, hotch pairs spencer and his crush up throughout their time in phoenix, arizona. spencer sees the way she’s always cracking her knuckles and rubbing at the small of her back. he hear the tone in which she talks to the officers.
so, when they’ve finally caught their unsub just 6 days later, spencer makes sure to pick up her case files before she can even make it from her hotel room. he tucks them neatly under him as he sits down on the jet, carefully hiding them from her. he holds them hostage, knowing if she doesn’t see them, she won’t worry about them. out of sight, out of mind, as they say. she falls asleep quickly in the seat across from spencer. he can’t help but ogle at her beautiful sleeping form, knowing she really needs the rest.
and, once they returned to the musty bullpen that belongs to the BAU, spencer stays with her. he watches as she starts the paperwork he’d sneakily put on her desk, not letting her catch on to the fact that he’d taken it. he tries his best to focus on his own work, but the way she keeps groaning as she rolls her head back has him completely distracted. he’s barely three pages in when hotch emerges from his office, bidding both of them a goodbye and complimenting their work on the case
that just leaves spencer and the pretty agent across from him in the space.
time moves slower now, spencer thinks, which makes it even more agonizing to listen to her try to work out her over-exhausted muscles by herself. he can’t help himself as he breaks the comfortable silence that had been established.
“hey, y/n,” he inquires, knowing she probably doesn’t want to be disturbed right now. his suspicions prove to be true when she doesn’t look up, letting out a less than enthusiastic “hm?”.
“do you know the benefits of getting a massage?” this piques her interest, wondering where spencer was going to take this. sure, the recent stress in her life had her muscles aching at every hour of the day, but she didn’t think anyone had picked up on it. “i know the basics, spence.” she giggles, finally looking over at him.
he can’t dwell on the fact that this is the first time she’s smiled in about two weeks because his brain starts moving too fast for his mouth to keep up, “yeah, most people know they helps with muscle aches but they actually have a lot of benefits. massages help improve circulation and joint mobility. there’s also research that connects them to cosmetic effects, like improved and more even skin tones.”
he doesn’t expect her to still be paying attention to him, but he’s pleasantly surprised at the small smile spreading across her face. “hm, that sounds amazing. if only i wasn’t trapped here doing paperwork at almost three in the morning.” she answers sarcastically, turning back to her work. “i could give you a massage.” spencer stumbles out.
her cheeks start to heat up as she makes eye contact with him, wondering where he would take this. “i mean,” he backtracks, “i’ve read books on how to do shoulder and back massages. my eidetic memory means i could probably do an almost perfect one, if you’re interested. i’ve noticed the way you’ve been struggling with muscle aches.”
her face feels like it’s on fire with the way he’s making her blush. “um, sure, spencer, if you don’t mind.” she stutters and stumbles as she tries to accept his offer. he excitedly pushes himself of his hair, pulling up a closer one behind her.
his large hands start to knead at the knots at the base of her neck. he can feel the tension she’s built up over the past couple of weeks and tries to recall the techniques he’d read about so long ago.
this quickly becomes a challenging feat, as he moves his hands along the expanse of her back. she lets out light moans when he massages a particularly tight part of her muscle. the moans and grunts she’s making are going right to spencer’s cock. he’s so glad he’s behind her, because the tent in his pants continues to grow as he reaches the base of her back, where most of her pain had been.
her light moans have now increased in volume, and spencer is sure he should stop. he was not expecting to have this reaction from her, or react this way to her. his mind is cloudy and beginning to fill with filthy images that match the sounds she’s making now.
and god, he should stop. he knows he should pull his hands away from her, especially as he feels his stomach tighten and his dick throb in his pants. but he can’t. he needs to reach his release so bad, so he presses his fingers harder into her back, listening to the joyful sounds she’s letting out.
he doesn’t pull his hands away until he finally cums in his pants, too embarrassed to keep going. “thank you, spence. i feel a lot better. a lot less tense now.” she thanks him as he turns away from her, pushing in the chair he’d pulled over. he makes a few exclamations, saying it was no problem at all, before dashing off to the bathroom to try and get himself cleaned up.
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cow-smells · 7 months
Text
Perv! Sanji hc's
Word count: 710
Warnings: sanji being a major creep, dubcon, drunk reader, im not great at warnings so just know this has dark themes and if that's not your jive, its best to skip this one
A/n: honestly and seriously, im embarrassed to have written this. the character of sanji and actor taz live rent free in my head. it is an issue. i will be seeking council
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He doesn’t become obsessed with you immediately after you join the crew. He’s after you the same way he is after any other woman, but the more he gets to know you, the less interested he is in other women until eventually, you’re the only one he sees.
And when I say obsessed, I mean the man is OBSESSED.
You could do no wrong in Sanji’s eyes. Every little thing you’d do, he’d fawn over and praise you for
It certainly didn’t hurt that you were receptive to his wandering hands when he would praise you
He took it upon himself to teach you to cook. Whenever you’d manage to improve your skills or make something tasty, Sanji would pick you up in an excited hug, he was so happy you were learning from him
And when he’d put you down from said hug, his hands always somehow found themselves on your bottom, squeezing, pushing you against him
The kitchen was his favourite place to be with you
There was a lot less space to move around than there was in the kitchen at the baratie, but Sanji didn’t mind; it just gave him a reason to have his hands on your waist anytime he needed to move you around – he loved how easy it was for him to control you like that
And whenever he needed something from a shelf above the counter where you stood, it was an excuse to cage you in, grinding his groin over your bum
Sometimes he’d use the fact he knew you were busy in the kitchen or someplace else on ship to allow himself in to your room
He’d smell your sheets, imagining waking up in them with you
Ruining them with you
He’d never leave your room without a souvenir
His favourite? Your used panties
He’d settle for a washed pair if you didn’t have any used ones but he just loves them used
It’s the closest to your cunt he could get right now
Sanji would spend those nights jerking off with your panties in hand, cumming in to them, thinking about you wearing them after
He once heard you whisper to Nami that you kept losing your underwear. Nami threw a glance at Sanji’s direction, but didn’t voice her suspicions
So Sanji learned to wash them and put them back, and it was actually nicer than keeping them. He liked thinking that you indirectly had his cum on your cunt
Any time Sanji would see you having any type of positive interaction with Zoro, the jealousy would send him up the wall
His frustrations would manifest themselves in extra-intense fighting with Zoro and being a lot less subtle with his perving on you
After he’d have a fight with zoro, he’d go to you for comfort
He liked to hug you from behind, acting upset and in need of your care, but really he just liked how you’d let his hands wander to your breasts
If he felt really bold, he’d let his hands snake under your shirt or your skirt
If you’d try to push him away he’d play up how distressed he was about whatever happened, he knew you have a soft spot for him, that’s why he loves you
He knew what your favourite dessert is and he loves making it for you. He may or may not have cum in the frosting.
He makes you cocktails all the time. He tries to get you inebriated because then you’re much more receptive of him sneaking his way in to your bed.
He knew you wanted him when you were sober, too, you were just shy and needed to be pushed in the right direction
He loves it when you’re drunk – he can kiss you all over, touch you all over, mark you up as his (which was partly for himself, and partly so zoro would finally take the hint)
And being drunk made you so cuddly. Sure, he was hot for you, but he really did love you and just loved having you wrapped around him
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suzukiblu · 7 months
Note
Tim’s my blorbo so I’ll always take more Tim content
Apparently Cadmus knew Experiment Thirteen was the one to invest in because Experiment Thirteen had a soulmark.
Apparently Cadmus also considered terminating Experiment Thirteen because Experiment Thirteen had a soulmark.
Tim knows this because he broke into the place and stole a copy of Superboy's file the day after they met.
He also knows what Superboy's soulmark looks like, because these absolute bastards not only took multiple pictures of it, they put those pictures in his fucking file. Not even, like, classified or tucked away behind a firewall or a password or anything. Not even in a seperate folder. Just right there in his standard file where literally any random scientist or doctor or goddamn intern could trip right over them without even meaning to.
Forget the fucking mind control; that's fucked up.
So yeah. Tim knows what Superboy's soulmark looks like. It's a stark, dark red, all sharp angles slung low in the V of his Adonis belt and cutting from one hip to the other, looking not unlike a stylized bird in flight coming at the viewer head-on. Bold. Undeniable. Very much like Superboy himself, really.
And exactly like the mark that came in on Tim when, he now knows, Superboy was first put together in a fucking petri dish. So that's . . . a whole thing, there.
Well. At least his soulmate is only literally fifteen years younger than him, not physically and mentally.
Although that doesn't really seem like a big improvement, to be honest.
Tim didn't even know he was into guys, actually? Definitely didn't know Superboy was into guys, all things considered. Like, he would not expect somebody like him to ever be subtle about who or what he was into.
Maybe they're platonics, Tim tries to tell himself. The fact that his first thought upon learning that Superboy was his soulmate was immediately questioning his own sexuality doesn't really support that theory, though.
Though it does help explain why Poison Ivy putting her hands on the guy had pissed him off so bad.
Like. It very much does.
Tim doesn't actually know what to do about this. Bruce still thinks he doesn't even have a soulmate, due to Tim previously really, really not wanting to deal with the absolute embarrassment of admitting that said soulmate was an actual fucking baby, so Tim never got the Bat-version of the soulmate talk. Bruce'd sat him down to give it to him when he'd first become Robin, but Tim hadn't had a mark then, obviously, so they'd both just assumed he didn't have to worry about it. Tim is pretty sure Bruce had been as relieved as he had to dodge that particular bullet, really. Apparently Dick had needed visual aids and hadn't understood the "gilly talk" version. And Jason had had questions.
Lots of questions.
Creative ones.
Sometimes Tim suspects Jason might've been an asshole. Like, just a little bit of one.
So no, Tim does not blame Bruce for deciding to skip that particular talk with him, especially when they'd both thought he wasn't gonna need to know any of it anyway.
So . . . yeah. He doesn't know how he's supposed to approach this situation. Obviously telling Superboy that they're soulmates would compromise Tim's secret identity and therefore Bruce's, and everybody and their damn mother knows Superboy himself doesn't even have a secret identity so it's not like Tim can figure that out and approach him that way.
On the other hand, not telling him that they're soulmates isn't a great start to being soulmates, now is it.
Crap, Tim thinks.
Then he calls Dick, because if he has to sit through the Bat-version of the soulmate talk, at least maybe Dick will be slightly less embarrassing to hear it from.
As long as there's no visual aids involved, anyway.
"Hey, Tim," Dick greets as he picks up the phone. Tim has a carefully crafted plan of attack, of course; several, in fact. He's got all sorts of subtle ways to lead the conversation without revealing anything too damning or too specific and while keeping everything in hypotheticals. Just making the whole thing either a quick thought exercise or casual curiosity from an unmarked kid who's heard one too many soulmate stories and wants to know more. So Tim's prepared. Tim's ready.
Tim panics.
"Poison Ivy kissed my soulmate and I want to burn down her entire life," he blurts.
"Uh," Dick says. "You're . . . gonna have to catch me up a little here, baby bird. For starters, I thought you didn't have a soulmate."
"I didn't," Tim says as he starts to pace back and forth across his bedroom, because he's already screwed this up so there's no point in playing coy now. "Then some dickheads in Metropolis decided to steal Superman's dead body and make a cocky asshole with douchey shades and a leather fetish out of it."
"Ohhhhh boy," Dick says. "What'd B say?"
"I found out like half an hour ago and you're the only person I've told, so nothing yet," Tim says. "What's the Bat-protocol for finding out your soulmate is somebody in the community, exactly? Specifically somebody in douchey shades?"
"Depends," Dick says. "How'd the kid react?"
". . . I don't know how to say this without sounding like a total creep, but he doesn't know," Tim admits with a wince. "I broke into Cadmus to make a copy of his file after I met him and they just . . . had his soulmark in it. Like. There wasn't even a password. It wasn't even in an isolated folder. It was just there."
"That is the most fucked up thing I've heard since the last time I had to talk to Jervis Tetch," Dick mutters in obvious disgust. "Alright, well, how are you reacting, then?"
"My soulmate is a baby," Tim grumbles disgruntledly, dropping into his desk chair. "A baby who is also a teenager."
"Tim, you're a teenager too," Dick reminds him wryly. "You are very much so a teenager too, in fact."
"Yeah, and it sucks," Tim says emphatically. "And I have, like, actual legal guardians and a home and a trust fund. Superboy just lives somewhere in Hawaii with a sleazy businessman and his kid and some random guy from Cadmus!"
"That's, uh, actually not great," Dick says, sounding a little troubled.
"You think?!" Tim demands. "He's a baby! An infant! And he lives with his frigging manager!"
"What the actual hell," Dick says.
"Just–is it ethical to kidnap your own soulmate and does that even matter if they're not legally a person and so you couldn't actually be charged for anything anyway?" Tim mutters speculatively, drumming his fingers on his desk for a moment and then booting up his computer. "I mean, B can't get mad at me for doing it if the courts can't get me for doing it, right?"
"Wait, Superboy's not legally a person?" Dick asks incredulously.
"Nope," Tim says. "Which neither Cadmus nor the sleazebag selling his likeness for a living has in any way tried to correct, for the record. Technically he's classified as intellectual property, but Cadmus forfeited legal possession when Superman turned up alive again, presumably to avoid Superman ever finding out that they'd had said legal possession, so technically if I went and kidnapped him it'd be more like . . . salvage, maybe? Like, in the eyes of the law, I mean."
"Yeah, okay, in that case kidnapping your own soulmate might be less an ethics question and more a moral obligation," Dick says.
"Good point," Tim says, frowning consideringly as he pulls up his browser. "Do you think if I just do it as Tim Drake I can avoid compromising my identity?"
"I have no idea but if I were you I'd already be booking my flight and thinking up a cheap excuse to 'accidentally' flash a teen heartthrob superhero my soulmark anyway," Dick says.
"I am already booking my flight," Tim says mid-click of said booking. "Although, uh, flashing him our particular soulmark might require, like . . . third base, and I don't even know if he likes guys. I don't even know if he knows if he likes guys, he's like five minutes out of the cloning tube and like, I'm literally fifteen and don't know if I like guys, so why the hell would he?"
"Okay, yeah, that could be an issue," Dick says. "Hm. Wardrobe malfunction? Slutty beach day? Wet T-shirt contest?"
"I'm not above any of those options at this point, frankly," Tim grumbles, even though those ideas are all very "Nightwing" and not very "Robin". Technically he shouldn't be approaching this like Robin would anyway, because god forbid Superboy recognize his methodology.
Slutty beach day might have to be a thing, Tim realizes with resigned dread. He is really not comfortable with slutty beach day being a thing.
. . . maybe if he just gets lucky, he can catch Superboy having his own slutty beach day. Not to make any assumptions, just Tim's pretty sure if either of them were ever going to be the type to wear a speedo or low-waisted swim trunks or just walk around with their soulmark out in general . . .
Which, in Superboy's defense, well–his soulmark is already on file with Cadmus, so yeah. He might not even care if other people see it or not, considering that.
Then again, if Tim knew that a bunch of random strangers who'd wanted to mind-control him had all seen and taken pictures of his soulmark, he'd never wear anything that risked exposing it again. Like. Ever.
Possibly he'd just live and die in a wetsuit. Or coveralls. Overalls. Or just–whatever. Something like that.
. . . come to think of it, Superboy's costume is all one piece, isn't it.
Cadmus is full of assholes, Tim decides as he confirms his booking, then gets up to throw together a go-bag. He has no plan whatsoever, but whatever; it's a twelve-hour flight. He's gonna have time to think something up.
One go-through with airport security and a twelve-hour flight later, Tim has not thought anything up.
Dammit.
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trensu · 1 year
Text
ETA: now on ao3 as Hawkins Halfway House for Homeless Horrors
ETA2: now with an additional snippet
okay, how's this for an AU
We know that Steve wants to be a dad. Like, his literal life dream is to have a minimum of six children. SIX. who wants that?? crazy people, that's who. but we forgive him his insanity because he's sweet and will actually probably be a really good dad and there's not enough of those in the world.
the downer is that it's the late 90s, he's a (still) single guy in his thirties, and every adoption agency on the planet would rather give their children to a heteronormative couple who don't even want kids than to a single dude who would dedicate his heart and soul to giving his kids a happy healthy home.
He's bemoaning his fate to Robin at a bar they recently discovered. It's a weird little joint, kinda tucked away on the outskirts where Steve could've sworn didn't exist just last week. The patrons were kinda weird too but neither he or Robin could put their finger on why or how. If Steve had been a little less miserable, and Robin a little less caught up in comforting him, they might've noticed how everyone else in the bar kept sneaking curious glances at them or how they somehow always kept most of their features hidden.
They didn't though. Even when they were interrupted by a handsome black gentleman who called himself Jeff. Jeff said that he couldn't help but overhear their dilemma and that he's actually part of an agency that is more open minded about potential foster or adoptive parents. Steve's a little deeper in his cups than he intended, and doesn't question that some random guy in a bar is offering him a chance of having children. Robin is not as far in her cups and finds it a bit suspicious.
She was going to say something about it but Jeff looked her in the eye and said, "Everything is fine. There's no reason to worry. I'm only trying to help."
"You're only trying to help," Robin murmured back blearily. "Everything is fine. Yeah. Yeah, 'm not worried."
Jeff gives Steve his card and tells him he can stop by the very next day if he'd like, since his schedule is open.
The next day, Steve is regretting having gotten so drunk. Not really because of the hangover (though holy shit, he is NOT twenty anymore he needs to stop drinking like one). No. It's because Jeff had just finished giving him a tour of the facility full of rambunctious children in need of a home.
Actually, that had been pretty okay even if the other adults in the facility startled at the sight of him and the children kept ducking into other rooms to hide from him.
No. It's because Jeff had just introduced him to a child named Dustin who sneezed unexpectedly and somehow turned into a kitten.
"Um," Steve said. Jeff sighed.
"Dustin hasn't gotten back control over his shapeshifting since his mother's passing, but I assure you he's been improving."
"...shapeshifting," Steve said, numbly.
"Yes. Dustin tends to go for cat shapes, like his mother did." Jeff bends down to pick up the loudly mewing tabby kitten. "We've managed to get him to shift mostly into a domestic shorthair, rather than a cougar cub."
"That's great," Steve squeaked as he tried to tamp down the growing hysteria in him. "Really, really great. Y'know what, Jeff, this whole thing's been great but I think I'm still kind of drunk so I'm just gonna go--"
"No, wait," Jeff says, quickly placing the Dustin kitten on his shoulder before reaching out to grab Steve by the elbow. "Please. Look, you seem like a good guy. I did a quick scan of you and everything, and I really think if you'd take a moment to sit down and--"
"JEFFORD BILLANY JONES."
Jeff's shoulders hunched, nearly dislodging Dustin from his shoulder. He sighed again and turned to face the man storming towards him and Steve.
"Eddy, you know none of that is my name."
"I'll call you whatever I want since for some unfathomable reason, you've brought a human into my sanctuary. Why is there a human in my home, Jeffamy."
"Eddy, let me explain."
"It's Eddie in front of the human," Eddie said.
Steve's brain was experiencing some sort of malfunction because Jeff had been calling this man Eddie, except if he concentrated, the way Jeff said Eddie and the way Eddie had said Eddie sounded very very different except it hadn't because they both sounded like Eddie except for how Jeff's Eddie sounded different from, the same as, different, just like--
A pair of ringed fingers snapped aggressively in front of his face, startling Steve from an impending aneurysm.
"You. Who are you, who sent you, what do you want."
Steve stuttered something incoherent. He's pretty sure he's had a mental break from reality. There was some sort of sentient black sludge creeping across the tiled floor, wrapping a tendril around Jeff's leg.
"What is that?" Steve squawked. Jeff beamed at him.
"Oh, this is El! She's a Monster Under the Bed. She hasn't decided on a form yet, but that's okay, we love her just as she is."
"Jeff," Eddie snapped. Jeff looked at Eddie stubbornly.
"You told me we needed all hands on deck."
"How dare you, I'd never stoop to using boat metaphors."
"Don't distract me with blatant lies. Eddy, you said we needed help. You said you'd take anyone at this point."
Steve has not been able to stop staring at the sludge creature (El?). He's beginning to realize that he can't quite remember what Jeff looked like, or any of the adults they had seen. He's noticing that some of the children that have been scampering about had looked off. Like the boy with the bowl-cut they had passed by earlier who had looked...frosty around the edges. Or the girl he thought had had red feathers in her hair but is now suspecting the feathers were something more than decorative.
Ringed fingers snap in front of his face again. Steve finally focused on the man named Eddie who was actually named Eddie which was different from Eddie somehow. Now that he's able to shove away the confusion that is this man's name, he's struck by the fact that Eddie was quite possibly the most gorgeous man Steve's ever seen. He had wide, dark eyes that made Steve think of seabeds in the deepest of waters. His hair was a riot of dark brown curls that for some reason brought to mind swirling schools of fish.
"Answer my questions," Eddie demanded. Steve blinked and, with some difficulty, remembered the previous interrogation.
"Uh, I'm Steve. Jeff invited me because I want to be a dad."
Eddie barked out a laugh.
"Oh, is that right? In that case, welcome to Hawkins' Halfway House for Homeless Horrors! I'm sure Jeff would love to finish introducing you to the rest of our children. Have you met Mike? He's a ghoul! Or Lucas! He's a werewolf and his dream is to become a basketball star. They both have very sharp teeth so watch out for their tantrums."
Jeff scowls at Eddie before turning back to Steve. Steve was starting to feel faint and he was no longer sure if he regretted drinking the night before or regretted not drinking more.
"Steve, it's okay. Eddy is making it sound scarier than it actually is. You said you wanted to be a dad, and we need foster parents that can help these kids learn how to blend in with humans. That's what the halfway house is for, but there's only so much they can learn while living in sanctuary. We need a way to have them experience the human world more directly while still keeping them safe, and I think you're the solution we've been looking for. What do you think?"
"I think I need to sit down," Steve said thinly. Eddie snorted derisively. Steve was slightly offended but honestly everything was a bit too much right now and he really would like to sit down for a moment just to process. Because monsters are real, apparently, and some of them need parents. Which was terrifying to think about but also not so much? Because all kids were little monsters some of the time right? If Steve could have a moment to get his bearings...
"This was a terrible idea, Jeffathan."
"I think it was a great idea, actually. I really think this could work."
"No. I forbid it. Don't do this again."
Then there was a sweet and beautiful humming. It made the edges of Steve's mind go fuzzy and soft. He blinked slowly and looked for the source of the sound. Eddie stared at him intently and when he spoke, his voice was like music.
"Steve," Eddie said. "Steve, do you want to make me happy?"
Steve nodded dumbly. He wanted that more than anything in the whole world. He wanted to make Eddie smile. He wanted Eddie to never stop singing.
"It would make me very happy if you went home and forgot everything you saw here today," Eddie continued.
Steve made a sad sound. He didn't want to forget. He didn't want to forget beautiful, gorgeous Eddie and this place that could make his dream come true.
"Please, Steve," Eddie's lyrical voice took on an aching mournful tone. "If you don't, you'll break my heart. I'll never be happy again."
The sadness in the song made Steve feel like the world was ending. Eddie couldn't be sad! Steve would rather die than make Eddie sad!
"I forget," Steve mumbled through the fog in his mind. "And you'll be happy?"
"So happy. I'd be the happiest man alive if you do that one little thing for me, my sweet Steve."
Steve nods again. "Okay."
"Good boy," Eddie croons. Steve felt like he swallowed the sun at those words. He followed Eddie as Eddie guided him through the halfway house. Eddie hummed his lovely song the entire way.
"Go home and forget," Eddie sang one last time as he helped Steve get behind the wheel of his car.
"Yeah," Steve replied dreamily and drove away.
--
The telephone rang shrilly through his apartment. Steve stumbled out of bed and picked up, only fumbling it a little bit.
"H'llo?"
"Steve, what the hell, I've been trying to get a hold of you all day! Where have you been?" Robin's voice rang out, making Steve flinch. He scrubbed his free hand over his face tiredly.
"Home? I just woke up," Steve said. It was weird that he was fully dressed, he thought dazedly, but it wouldn't be the first time he's passed out drunk in his street clothes. Was he wearing this shirt yesterday? He could've sworn he'd worn the navy one.
"What? Just now? It's like five in the evening!"
"Huh. That'd explain the weird dream," Steve mumbled.
"Was it the one where you get seduced by a giant squid? Because I don't need to know more about your weird tentacle fetish."
"I don't have a tentacle fetish! I had the dream ONE time, and I wasn't being seduced, I was getting drowned and it was terrifying!"
"To-may-to, to-mah-to."
"Whatever, this one was weirder anyway."
"I find that hard to believe but now I'm morbidly curious. Hit me with it."
"...I don't remember."
"There goes my entertainment for the evening."
"Was there a reason you called, Robin?"
"Yes! I met this girl named Chrissy and I swear Steve, she's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen..."
Beautiful. Steve had the faint impression of dark eyes and silver rings, but it was quickly washed away like a child's sandcastle in the tide under the onslaught of Robin's ramblings. As he listened to his best friend, he couldn't help but feel there was something he'd forgotten. There was something he'd been planning on doing today, wasn't there...?
...oh, well. If it was really important, he'd remember eventually.
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skzhua · 1 year
Text
you are my safe haven ('your eyes' series)
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♡ "You were the first person I thought of at the moment."
pairing: lee minho x reader.
genre: fluff, angst.
word count: 10,529
warnings: swearing, suggestive, unrequited love mentioned, minho being minho (savage and flirty).
summary: your relationship with minho has always been tricky. either he was roasting the shit out of you, or he was flirting with you shamelessly. when things start to get complicated with your childhood friend, chan, why is he the first one who come up in your mind?
a/n: this one took me so long to write, but it might be my favourite one ever. i just fucking love lee minho, lmao. i'm so sorry for not posting as regularly as i used to, i'm very much struggling with school and other, but i'm trying my best! anyway, enjoy~
SERIES MASTERLIST
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You and Chan met when your parents used to live across from each other. Being a year apart only, it made things easy for the both of you to get along. You had gone through everything together whether it was growing up, changing schools, making friends, etc. The last big step you had taken together was moving on your college's campus. You roomed with a nice but shy healthcare student, Youngmi. Although she wasn't a social butterfly like Chan was, she grew more at ease with you as time passed.
Another semester starting meant more homework and less free time, and that involved no more nights out with Chan at the local diner. Over the holidays, his friend, Minho, had started to come to your usual hangouts. Nothing against him, but his presence did affect your relationship with Chan. Your crush on him had only been growing since college started and Minho's presence wasn't much of an help if you wanted to confess at some point. Anyway, it's not like you could tell Chan that his friend was causing you problems when really he was doing nothing wrong.
Your first day was finally over. Checking your message app, you saw nothing from Chan. Weird, since he would always answer you. Your last class was with Minho, and after you had put everything in your bag, he was still at his desk, not having moved a bit other than jamming to his music.
"Minho, can you not?"
The man acted as if he had heard nothing and went on with humming happily to the song he was listening to. Despite how much your friendship with him had improved, he remained one of the few people you would give away to Satan to save yourself with no hesitation.
"Min." you tried again, but you were left with no response.
Out of impatience, you snatched his earphones out of his ears, resulting to Minho spatting out one insult after the other. "I was vibing, you moron! You're seriously no fun, weirdo."
"Wow, I'm so affected by your lame insults." you rolled your eyes.
"I'm going soft on you, kitten."
And here it was again, the sudden shift from insults to flirts. Quite honestly, you never understood how he managed to pass from one another so smoothly, nor could you comprehend how it took you by surprise each time. But that's what Minho is, a flirty jerk who loves to provoke.
"Why are you so pressed, anyway?" he asked as he lazily followed you out of the class.
"We're going to the diner, remember?"
"I forgot, actually. See, that's why I need you around." he winked, but you dismissed his antics.
"Chan hasn't replied to my messages yet, it's not like him."
"It's the first day of school, I bet he has hundreds of meetings."
He was surely right, but you learnt with time to not base your thoughts off of Minho's because he never cared about anything other than himself. And right now, he didn't give a damn about Chan not replying to you.
"I don't know, should I call Bin to see if he's with him?"
Minho deadpanned at you. "Are you his mom or something? He's fine, probably just busy. Plus, I'm here. Can't you enjoy my company for once?"
You sent him a disgusted look, unimpressed, as you went outside. That's when, from afar, you saw your best friend. He was as handsome as ever, still wearing his oversized black clothes, and laughing cutely. And he was laughing with a girl. You had literally never seen her before, though you were convinced to know everyone in Chan's social circle.
"I told you he's okay." Minho huffed.
"Sure." you replied, unfocused. "Wait here for a moment, will you?"
You passed your bag to him, not letting him protest, and you ran to Chan to hug him from the back. He was startled for a bit, until he realized you were the one who took him by surprise.
"Hey, there!" he smiled widely before hugging you back tightly, ruffling your hair in a sweet manner. "I haven't seen you all day, where were you?"
"Class... And the best out of this is that I get to finish the day with Lee Minho." you fake-gagged.
"He's not that bad, just a bit annoying." he chuckled. "How was it, other than that?"
"Fine, I suppose. I just really don't want to be back in class. The teachers went over their planned projects, and I wanted to shoot myself just then."
"Don't say that, you'll do just fine. I know it." he said, rubbing your back.
"Thanks, Channie." you blushed a little.
Chan soon realized he had been ignoring his new friend since you appeared. "Y/N, this is Eunhee. She's in my sound art practices class. Eunhee, this is my best friend, Y/N."
You ignored the pang in your heart from the label he used for you, but still greeted the girl sweetly. "Hi! Happy to meet you!"
"Likewise." she replied, seemingly uneasy by your presence despite her polite smile. "I can go find my dorm alone if you two want to hang out."
You turned your attention to Chan expectedly, but his answer crushed you a bit. "No, no. I'll show you." he hurried to tell her, before looking at you sadly. "Do you mind going without me for today? I'll join you later."
You tried your very best to hide your disappointment, but let's say it wasn't much of a success. "Yeah, sure. Do you want Minho and I to order for you?"
"It's fine, thanks. Later?"
He brought you in his arms again, kissing the top of your head as some sort of apology. You felt down enough, you didn't want to break your façade in front of him. So you hurried to join Minho back, who had patiently waited for you at the same spot. He frowned upon seeing your glossy eyes, but you didn't let him question it. You took your bag from him and started to walk to the diner immediately. However, Minho was stubborn. He sped his pace up to catch up with your own and fixated his gaze on you. You attempted to ignore it, but he can be very intimidating when he wants to be.
"What?" you snapped at him, annoyed.
"You like Chan."
You stopped on your tracks and looked at him incredulously. "You're seeing things."
He scoffed as he stopped walking as well. "Please." he elongated the word. "You're almost drooling at the sight of him. And when he's not with us, you only talk about him."
"I don't drool! And I talk about him because we barely have anything in common."
He smirked. "Now, now, kitten. You barely know anything about me, how can you be so sure?"
"You're a pain in the ass." you groaned, starting to walk again.
He followed closely as he laughed alone. "This is a fact, though. We barely talk about anything else than Chan. You must like him, then."
"Then talk about something else, if it bothers you that much."
He paused for a second, trying to think of any moment you two had without mentioning the older man. He could not think of a single one. He had tried to get to know you on many occasions, but Chan would always end up being the main topic. He had noticed way before today that you had a crush on Chan, but he thought it wasn't his place to bring it up. However, today was different. He was sick of seeing you check him out from afar and do nothing about it, so he thought of giving you a little push. Clearly, you were more stubborn than he initially thought.
"Do you actually want to talk with me?"
You let out a chuckle. "I mean, sure?"
"You don't seem sure."
"Like you said, we don't know much about each other, other than our mutual friend."
You reached the diner and opened the door to let Minho in first. He didn't wait for you to sit at the usual table you would be at with Chan. You joined him quickly, and he sent you a sly smirk.
"What is it now?" you breathed out.
"I want to talk."
You shrugged your shoulders, acting uninterested. "Please do."
"Do you even remember my cats' names?"
The question was unexpected for your part. In all of the things he could have brought up, you expected school, life experiences or hobbies, but certainly not his cats.
"I do, actually." you proudly responded, and he quirked an eyebrow. "I'm telling you, I remember!"
"What are they?"
"Soonie and Dori."
He gasped, putting a hand on his chest to enhance the dramatization of his reaction. "How dare you forget about my beloved Doongie?"
"My bad." you nonchalantly shrugged.
"You're such a bad friend."
"Are we even friends, Min?" you huffed.
"I only allow certain people to call me Min, actually."
You wanted to ask him what he meant by that, but Chan entering the place interrupted you. For the first time in your life, you wished he hadn't come join you so soon. He said hi to Minho briefly, before coming to sit down next to you. The server soon came to take your orders, and you asked for your usual burgers.
"Who was your little friend?" Minho asked Chan on purpose, resulting to getting a death stare from you.
"Eunhee. She just tranferred here, so I was showing her around. She's very nice, actually. She even writes lyrics like me! I read some of it, and she's got some talent."
Hearing him talk about someone else with so much praise did not feel good. Nonetheless, you smiled along Chan's talk and pitched in the conversation from time to time.
"I'm sure the two of you would get along well." he finished his monologue about the girl.
"Yeah, she sounds fun."
The night came to an end quickly, and Minho insisted on paying for the food, despite Chan's protests. You were walking to your dorm, when Chan had to go a separate way since he wasn't living close to you. He hugged you good night, and was off to go home.
Minho kept quiet as he walked you home. He didn't mind since his building was next to yours. Although the silence was enjoyable, he felt like something was off. You were acting as if he wasn't there and he couldn't help but notice when you sniffled discreetly.
"You like him that much, uh?"
Not in the mood for his teasing, you groaned in annoyance. "Shut up, Min."
"I'm genuinely asking." You hesitated, not sure if you should be telling him about this. "Hey, I'm serious."
He stopped you and put his hand on your shoulder. While Minho was never one for physical contact, you did know he would not think about it twice when it comes to his close ones. Apparently, he did care about you more than you thought. For some reason, you trusted him enough to tell him. Probably because it was becoming too much of a burden that you needed to confide in someone.
"I'll always be a little sister in his eyes, right?"
He didn't actually expect you to say anything, but he was pleasantly surprised you did. "Depends, things like this can change, you know."
"You don't get it. I've tried for years to get this man's attention, and the moment he meets Eunhee, he seems infatuated with her..."
"For years?"
You nodded your head slowly, ashamed to have been looking at the same man for that long. It's not like you did not try, you actually dated here and there. Nonetheless, Chan was always the one to pick you up after each breakup.
"Rough." Minho simply said.
You ended up changing subjects, as he started to spill out about his cats. He said he rented a dorm for himself so he could have his babies with him, and that he did not think it through when bringing in his third one. Especially because Dori has so much more energy than the two others.
"Thanks, Min." you said as you came to the front door of your building.
"For?"
"I don't know. For being there."
"Sure." he shrugged his shoulders. "Good night, Y/N."
"Good night."
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You really tried to make Youngmi feel at ease around your friends, and mutiple times. The girl had not much interest in coming out of her shell. You understood that, but her having been in college for a year already, you would have expected her to open up more. Still, her befriending you was already a success.
"This is, like, the only free break I have this week, so enjoy while I'm here." Chan laughed out as he headed towards the cafeteria.
"What if I don't?" you joked.
"Then you are revoked from any bestie privileges. No more driving you home after a night out."
You gasped as to seem shocked. "Who would tuck me in and treat my hangover, then?"
"Youngmi can do that." he shrugged as he nodded his head towards the girl walking next to you.
She didn't say anything as she looked at you in confusion. "What?"
"Nevermind." you sighed.
"Hey, Y/N, look." You followed to where Chan was pointing as he tugged your side, and your eyes landed on Eunhee and Jeongin sitting at a table. "We should join them."
"I don't think we should do that." Youngmi spoke.
"I thought you knew Jeongin and get along with him well."
"We don't want to impose ourselves." you added.
"It can't be too bad. Plus, Eunhee is very easygoing. Let's go."
No matter what you were going to say, you knew Chan was not going to change his mind. You forced yourself to follow him, and Youngmi had the same expression on her face. When you reached the two others, Jeongin's face turned red as his gaze stuck on Youngmi.
"Hey." she waved at him shyly.
"Do you mind if we join?" Chan asked, although he was already sitting down.
"Go ahead." Eunhee replied kindly.
Hesitant, you still sat down and started to eat. Chan began to discuss with Jeongin while the remaining three of you kept quiet. You and Eunhee exchanged some glances, and you felt bad for being so on the edge around her. She hadn't done anything other than being friendly, and it wasn't fair from you to give her the side eye.
Looking around, you tried to find Minho in the crowd. You spotted him quickly, but he did not see you as his eyes were set on someone else. More specifically, Byeol, his ex-girlfriend. He was sitting across from her and they were exchanging obvious glares. You were starting to wonder why he even sat with her, since he had previously told you he doesn't like to think about her. You observed the two of them for a bit, until they shifted glares into smiles. What the hell was happening?
"Youngmi." you turned to your friend. "Don't you think it's weird he's hanging out with her?"
The girl shrugged, since she didn't know them that much. "It looks normal to me."
You then heard someone choke, which turned your attention to Eunhee, who was coughing like crazy. As Jeongin attempted to make her feel better, you took out a napkin and wiped off the water she had spilled. She gave you a small smile, thankful.
"What do you mean, me? What did I do?" she said after she stopped coughing.
"She asked me if I'd be interested in tutoring you."
You hadn't noticed that Chan was the one she was talking to, until he answered. Tutoring? Wasn't he busy enough already? You chuckled as you thought this was an horrible idea, and Eunhee did the same, visibly seeing this as ridiculous as you were.
"What's funny?" he asked Jeongin, not sure to have caught on what made you two laugh.
The young man shrugged, not very interested in the conversation. "I mean, do you even have time to tutor? You barely have any time for the guys and I."
"It would be during the class period." Eunhee groaned at Chan, seemingly not happy with what she was hearing. "She said you're going to fail if you keep going like this."
“Come on, Chan. We’re barely halfway through the term. I can manage myself.”
“Not sure about that. You have halfway left that you can use to actually get better instead of barely passing.”
She gave you a look, almost pleading for your help, but you really didn't know what to tell her. So you shrugged your shoulders, and turned back to Youngmi to continue chatting.
“I’ll think about it…” you heard Eunhee say.
Lunch time went on pretty quickly. Youngmi had class, so you walked with her to her course. Your day was pretty much over, and you were planning to hang out with the boys for the evening. But nights at the diner shifted to you and Minho being alone while Chan needed to attend the student association meetings. Either that, or he was too tired and wanted to rest.
Unlike what you would have expected, it didn't affect you as much. Minho was much different than your best friend, there was no doubt. His weird behaviour, though, was odd enough to make you forget that Chan had pretty much abandoned you. He was still consistent with his texts, but you barely actually saw him around, today being an exception.
You joined Minho in front of the restaurant, and didn't bother waiting for Chan since you knew it would only be the two of you. He started to talk about his day and other fun things. But honestly, your focus was not cooperating as you were mostly in your thoughts.
"No, but can you blame anyone? Hyunjin's butt is great." Minho went on with his story-telling.
You mixed your milkshake with your straw in boredom, as you nodded along Minho's talk. "Yeah yeah, Hyunjin's butt is nice."
He raised an eyebrow, offended by your lack of commitment in this one-way discussion. "You're not listening."
"I am! I just told you Hyunjin's butt is nice!"
"Y/N, you've never seen the guy." he rolled his eyes at you.
"That is untrue!" you raised your finger to point at him in defense. "He's the one looking like he was made by angels, right?"
Minho scoffed, a smirk forming. "That would be me, princess." His cockiness almost got to you as you were at loss of words. "And we both know my ass is cuter."
You snorted at his statement. To be fair, you had checked his ass once, and there was no denial that he had a good one. You were not going to feed this ego of his, however. Just then, a ping was heard from your phone.
Chan: Hey! Changbin and I would like to have a little gathering with the others tomorrow. You in?
Y/N: If that means I can finally see you, yes!
Chan: I'm so sorry about that! I had so many meetings and so much work to do. It's supposed to be mostly done, though, so hopefully we can see each other more from now on.
Y/N: Otherwise, I'm complaining to the school that I want my best friend back.
Chan: Stop, you know I'll never leave you.
Chan: See you tomorrow?
Y/N: See you tomorrow.
"Something tells me Channie's the one you're texting." Minho teased.
"Shut you. I could say the same with you texting Byeol earlier."
This spilled out of your mouth without you thinking. You did not understand why it bothered you this much when he was chatting with his ex-girlfriend at the beginning of your night together. It was surely because it was impolite to be on your phone when you're hanging with someone already. Though, you just did the same and he was not bothered at all.
Minho blinked a few times as his eyes were set on you, before he breathed out a huff. "What do you mean?"
You stuttered as you tried to explain yourself. "I-I... She and you were- I meant, earlier today-"
He grinned at your sudden change in attitude. He rarely saw you shy or embarrassed, because you were rarely in this kind of state and also because you were good at hiding your emotions. To say he didn't like it would be a lie. You were damn adorable with the flush on your cheeks, and he had to suppress himself from slipping out a comment about it.
"You were definitely not listening to me earlier, then." You frowned before gesturing for him to continue. "The whole butt thing was because Byeol had accidentally texted me instead of her friend, and she was complimenting Hyunjin's ass in that message. That's why I was laughing then."
"Oh." you breathed out as you nodded your head slowly.
"If it makes you feel any better, I smile much more when you're texting me." he winked.
"Now, for real, you need to shut up."
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Being the first one to get to Chan's dorm, you made yourself at home as you sprawled across his couch, scrolling through your social medias. Chan had plans with Minho and would be coming home with him later, so you hadn't seen him yet. Changbin, however, was there.
"Do you think this is a good plan?" he sighed loudly.
Frankly speaking, you had not listened to one word he said since you were too focused on replaying the cat video Minho had just sent you. "Uh? Yeah. It's an excellent plan." you replied nonchalantly, before chuckling at the video again.
"And, you were not listening." Changbin let out a sigh. "Is this Minho's cat?" he asked, upon seeing the ginger feline on your phone.
"Yeah. Soonie fell off this morning while he was filming him. Poor kitty, but this is quite hilarious. Especially Minho panicking and running to save his child." you went on to explain, a smile still on your face.
"You have it for Minho, now?"
You froze in action from his words. "What?"
He realized that, maybe, he shouldn't have said anything as he scratched his head while awkwardly chuckling. "Forget it."
The doorbell rang and Changbin almost ran to the door to open it. He let Chunhwa in before giving her a big hug. She had brought drinks for the evening, so she straight went to put them in the refrigerator.
"Hey, Y/N!" she waved at you.
"Hi." you smiled. "What did you get for us?"
She raised a pack of beer and a bottle filled with a dark-coloured liquid. "Beers for the guys, and I found this fruit punch thing. I thought we could try it out." she shrugged as she put them down, and pulled a Fanta out of her grocery bag. "And I got this for our Jisung."
"About that." Changbin started. "He won't come tonight. He said something along the lines that Hwayoung was out with some guy and that he didn't want what happened last time to repeat itself."
Last time you hung out all together, Hwayoung had went on a date before joining you and was looking like a wreck. Jisung had to comfort her in Chan's room, and let's say some stuff happened.
"Oh well, I'll have the Fanta, then." you said as you got up to take it from your friend's hand.
Soon enough, the guys came back after they stopped by the convenience store to buy some snacks. While Changbin had already placed the board game on the table, Chunhwa took the time to help Chan out with preparing the ramen soups he bought. Minho sat next to you and thanked the girl as she gave him the food.
"Where is Jisung?" he asked as he started to dig into his soup.
"He's probably comforting Hwayoung again." Changbin answered, which made you feel bad for him.
"If he keeps doing this, he'll end up in a deep depression." you breathed out before the entire room nodded in agreement.
"You're one to say that." Minho said as he nudged your arm.
You glared at him before hitting his arm playfully. You only hoped Chan didn't get what he meant by that. The evening continued as you all picked your pawns to play. You conversed simultaneously since it had been a while since you saw each other. Changbin and Chunhwa were being painfully obvious about their crushes on each other, and Minho kept on bugging you, claiming you were cheating.
"I talked with Eunhee." Chan said, clasping his hands together which took you aback.
"And?" you frowned.
"She accepted my offer. I told you she would."
Your heart sank. No matter when you would talk with him, he always brought her up. Even if you took your feelings out of the situation, it almost looked as if he wasn't your best friend anymore and it hurt. You felt Minho putting a hand on your thigh, probably to bring you some kind of support.
You forced yourself to smile, before managing to say a small "That's great."
You could see that Chan noticed your lack of enthusiasm, but he went on nonetheless. "Yeah, I'll text her the details later. It'll probably be once or twice a week. Depends on her level, honestly."
"Right." you coughed out as you felt a lump forming in your throat, and Minho was quick to notice as he tightened his grip on you slightly. "Sorry, I have a headache. Minho." The boy shot his head up immediately. "Do you mind helping me get some medicine?"
"No, of course." he assured before standing up and offering his hand to help you up.
He gave you a worried smile as you came face to face with him. You didn't know when it started exactly, but he had started to let himself be more vulnerable around you. You almost never saw him having any sort of emotions. Seeing him care this much about you made you feel both weirded out and safe.
Chan watched the scene happen in front of his eyes and frowned in confusion. "Are you alright? I can help if you want and-"
"No." you immediately shut him up. "I'm okay, really. Thanks."
The poor guy was left even more confused when Minho took you away, bringing you to the bathroom. You both closed the door and you stood in front of each other for a moment without saying anything. While he was waiting for you to talk, you genuinely just wanted to enjoy his presence. But as the silence grew, Minho finally decided to break it.
"You could have asked Chunhwa to help you." he said, since he didn't why exactly you chose him to comfort you.
You shrugged, not too sure either. "You were the first person I thought of at the moment. I mean, you had a pretty strong grip on my thigh."
He coughed awkwardly, his ears turning red. "I see. And yeah, sorry about that.
"It's okay. It kind of helped, actually." you admitted.
Another silence took over, but he was the first to speak again. "Do you want me to talk to him?"
Your eyes widened at his proposition. "Are you crazy? Don't do that."
"No, I won't tell him about your crush, or whatever. I can mention to him that it's annoying that he only talks about her." he shrugged his shoulders.
"Min, we both only talk about Chan whenever we are together." you stated the obvious. "I bet you are more annoyed about that."
"Fair enough, but you don't bring up how talented and amazing he is every two seconds."
You laughed at this, and it visibly made Minho relax. If he managed to make you smile a little, that was good enough for him.
"Still, you don't need to do that. It's just as if I'm losing a friend, that's all."
"Do you want to go back home? I can walk you there."
You hummed quietly while nodding a yes slowly. "Actually, yes, that would be nice."
He took a step closer before rubbing the side of your arm, not forgetting to replace the hair that had fallen onto your face as well. "Then, we shall take you home, princess."
You hoped he didn't feel your heartbeat fasten its pace, nor your heavy breathing. He was never a physical person, and his touch felt electrifying. You knew damn well he was only doing this for you to feel better about your whole situation with your best friend, but you were starting to wonder if a part of him actually enjoyed these kinds of moments.
Your train of thoughts was stopped when he let go of you to open the door again, letting you walk out first. As you joined the others, you saw Changbin and Chunghwa being in their own world, and Chan giggling at his phone, most likely texting Eunhee. Oddly enough, it did not pain you as much as it did earlier. Somehow, feeling Minho's body hovering behind you in a protective way compensated.
"I'll go home, if you don't mind." you said to nobody in particular.
Chan let go of his phone, while the two others simply gave you a thumbs up before going on with whatever they were doing. "This early?" Chan asked.
"Sorry, I don't feel so well." you attempted a smile.
Chan stood up and joined you at the front door, concern all over his face. "Let me walk you to your dorm, at least."
You shook you head as a no before gesturing to the man standing behind you. "Minho's coming with me already. Thank you."
"Alright." he trailed off before he gave you a tight hug. "Let me know if you need anything."
"Always. Good night Chan. Bye, guys!" you addressed to the others.
You were quick to leave, and you felt bad Minho had to keep up with your fast walking. Nonetheless, he didn't complain and you found yourself outside of the building soon, breathing in the fresh air.
"What are you going to do for the rest of your night?" Minho asked.
You pondered for a minute, trying to figure out the options in your mind, but nothing came up. "I don't know. Knowing Youngmi, she's already sleeping. That means I can't do much other than sleep too."
"Are you tired?" he asked, and you answered with a no. "My place is close to yours, if you want to hang out."
You never went over at his, meaning you never met his cats. This was a good opportunity to get some cuddles with them, that only if Minho allowed you.
"Do I get to snuggle with Soonie, Doongie and Dori?"
He frowned. "Who do you think you are? Some privileged woman? The cats are off-limit." To that, you pouted at him. "Y/N, no."
"You want to me to feel better or not?"
"You seem to be doing good, now."
"Min, pretty please." you whined like a child.
He let out a sigh, deadpanning at you. "Fine. Not more than an hour of cuddles, though."
Feeling victorious, you took his hand and dragged him rapidly to his dorm. He almost fell from your sudden excitement, which took him by surprise. You were especially strong for someone who barely did anything else than study and work. At his building, he took the lead since you didn't know where he lived exactly. He let you inside first, being the well-mannered man he is, and you were greeted by an orange ball of floof who was visibly confused upon seeing someone who is not Minho.
"Doongie." he said before pointing to the other orange cat who was sitting on the cat tree in the corner of the room. "Soonie. And I have no idea where Dori is."
"You sent me so many photos of them, I would have recognized them without your help."
He sent a glare your way. "Just be grateful you get to meet them."
"Yes, thank you, Min." you laughed before crouching down to pet the cat. "Hello, Doongie." you cooed at him.
Minho huffed at the sight. His cat seemed to be liking you a lot. He went to Soonie, only to see Dori jumping on the cat tree to join his brother. He patted their heads lovingly. At least, he still had those two who didn't betray him. However, he realized he spoke too soon when you joined him to scratch the cats' bellies.
"You traitors." he muttered at his children. "It looks like they love you more than me."
"I'm just that much likeable." you teased.
"Sure you are, kitten."
Your eyes widened as realization hit you. "You call me kitten because of your cats?"
"Why else?" he shrugged as if it was nothing. "I like cats and I like you. This is only logical."
Your eyes went even wider, your heartbeat pacing faster. Did he just tell you he liked you? The Lee Minho who was known to be the most detached person on Earth, the one who never showed his true emotions?
"You like me?" you breathed out.
He rolled his eyes at you. "You're my friend, of couse I like you."
Oh. He meant that kind of liking. You were not certain on why it disappointed you so much. You thought you liked Chan. Well, you did, but ever since Minho came in the picture, you didn't know if you were starting to lie to yourself about your feelings for your best friend.
"Wow, Minho is finally admitting he actually likes having me around."
"Don't let it get into your head too much. This only happened because Chan's busy." he scoffed as he walked to the cupboard in his kitchen. "Now, do you want to feed the kitties?"
You didn't think twice before hopping to join him. You helped him serve the cat food and put it on the ground. You observed them eat together, as you petted their backs. He was babying Dori and Doongie, while you were spoiling Soonie with scratches. Needless to say, you felt like you were two parents watching over their children. And it felt strangely comfortable. If someone told you months prior that you would be in Minho's apartment, feeding his cats, and feeling like you wished it'd be like this all the time, you would not believe them. Because you couldn't quite believe it at this instant.
"Did you want to do something in particular?" you asked after the cats were done eating.
"Hmm." he hummed, thinking for a moment. "We could watch a movie. I have some drinks if you want to do that while watching."
"Sounds good to me."
You opted for a comedy movie while Minho prepared the popcorn and the drinks. You both had already drank a little when you were at Chan's, but some more couldn't hurt. Mid-way through the film, you were already feeling tired and tipsy. Way more than tipsy. Of course, Minho noticed since you were starting to lean on him. He tried to move away, but it was like you were trying to absolutely have some sort of physical contact with him.
"Bruh." he spat out when you were now full on laying on him.
"Uh?" you said as your eyes fluttered opened. "Ah, sorry, Min. I'm just very tired."
"Yeah, it's fine."
"Do you mind if I sleep here for tonight?" you mumbled out and Minho froze.
Normally, he would have kicked you out at that point without any second thoughts. However, your pleading eyes with your tired figure did something to him, and he couldn't just say no to you.
"I'll take the couch."
You pouted before shaking your head violently. "Sleep in your bed. I'll stay here."
"Y/N, you're not okay. Sleep in my bed."
"Or we can sleep together."
You took his lack of answer as a yes, and stood up on your feet clumsily. Luckily, he caught you in time before you tripped on yourself. You grabbed onto him to find some balance as he led you carefully to his bed. Once he tucked you in, he was about to leave, but you took his wrist to stop him.
"I said we can sleep together."
"I'll just wash up, I'll be back."
"Do you have cucumbers?"
He looked at you weirdly. Sure, you were drunk, but this was so random. You explained briefly it was for a skin care routine you wanted to do to relax. Although it now made sense, he didn't quite understand why you wanted to pamper yourself while being so tired. Nonetheless, he obliged and brought you sliced cucumbers.
"I'll go shower while you do your thingy."
"I'll wait for you."
Your behaviour was strange, but you were awfully cute and you smiled widely at him, hurrying him to go wash. He absolutely adored it, but he knew this was only because you drank. He beat himself up for wanting this to be genuine. The picture of you waiting for him to go to bed and falling asleep together was more than appealing to him. However, he had to remind himself that you liked Chan, and that you'd known the latter for years. He could never do that, come in-between the two of you. He finished his shower thoughts by simply telling himself to get over it. He didn't like you. He couldn't like you. Not like that.
When he came back in his room, he was met with the image of you watching a kids show on his personal TV. Some people would act like horny jerks when drunk, but you were a total child. Alongside with you was Dori, whom you had somehow managed to kidnap to cuddle with. Minho loved it. But he couldn't.
"You didn't use the cucumbers." he pointed to the plate, still full of the vegetable.
"I told you I'd wait for you."
He quirked an eyebrow, starting to see where this was going. "I am not doing some self-care shit with you."
"Min..." you pouted.
"No."
You patted the empty side of the bed and, lazily, Minho sat down as he was still glaring at you.
"Please."
"I'm going to sleep."
You huffed. "You're no fun. Chan would have done it."
Oh, how wrong was it of you to say that. It awoke something in Minho. Whether it was jealousy or pride, he didn't know, but he knew he didn't like it. Instantly, he picked two cucumbers and placed them on your cheeks.
"There. Happy?" he grumbled.
"Very much." you giggled. "Your turn."
You spent the next hour or so playing with cucumber slices, either throwing them at each other, eating them, or shoving them on Minho's eyes. It might had been the first time you saw him genuinely having fun. Not cocky or insufferable like he usually was. He was at ease, and so you were.
It was around 1am when you both grew too tired to continue your self-care session. You snuggled into the blankets and brought yourself closer to the man laying next to you. He stood still as he looked right back at you. He didn't stop himself from reaching out to the side of your face, patting your head.
"Thank you for tonight." you mumbled tiredly. "I think I like you too."
He immediately caught on that you were referring to your previous conversation. Fortunately, because otherwise, he would have went on full panic mode.
"That's good, pretty. Sleep well, alright?"
"You too, Min."
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You and Minho were definitely no longer friends after that night, but nor had you stopped speaking to each other. Quite the opposite, actually. Think of any act of affection a couple would do, other than kissing, and there you got what was happening between the two of you. Chan had almost disappeared, now spending most of his time with Eunhee. You did visit him occasionally to make sure he wasn't exhausting himself too much but it never lasted more than five minutes. That also meant your crush on him had completely vanished. It couldn't have stayed for long, anyway, after you woke up in Minho's bed that morning, realizing you had fallen in love with him instead.
"Strawberry." Minho said, standing up firmly for his choice of milkshake, as he nudged your arm.
"Chocolate." you said, coming closer to his face.
He sighed in frustration. "We had chocolate last time."
"If you're so pressed with your strawberry, just order one for yourself."
He smirked. "But you want us to share, don't you?"
It was annoying how right he was, and you huffed in defeat. "Strawberry it is."
"There you go. I knew you were going to give up."
"Shut up."
He took you by the waist and brought you closer, as if you were not close enough already on the small cushioned bench. You continued to bicker playfully, when you heard the front door's bell. Turning your attention on where the sound came from, you easily spotted Chan. He stood still, baffled at the sight in front of him. He started to question himself mentally, wondering if he had really cancelled on you two that much that he didn't notice you were dating. Coming back to his senses, he walked to your booth and sat in front of you.
"Hey, guys. Am I interrupting, or..?"
"Of course not." Minho exclaimed. "Glad to see you after, I don't know how long."
You could hear the pettiness in his voice, so you hit him slightly with your elbow before speaking. "We've all been busy, it's okay." you smiled. "So, what's new? How are things with Eunhee?"
"It's good, I guess. We had a... moment, and she is pretty much ignoring me since then. You know, when you came over the other day." he explained, while looking pretty clueless.
"What kind of moment?" Minho asked, stretching his arm out to wrap it around you, which earned a look from Chan.
"Uh, I'm not too sure. We danced in my room-"
You cut him off with a laugh, and he glared at you. "That's the cheesiest thing you could have done. No shit you were acting weird when I came over." you snickered, and Minho soon joined you as he tried to ignore the slight jealousy he felt from learning you went over to Chan's recently.
"Yeah, you two are no better. You were all over each other when I walked in." he rolled his eyes.
That was enough to shut the both of you, knowing well this was an unspoken thing you had going on. You never brought it up, and didn't intend on doing so anytime soon.
"So." Minho coughed out awkwardly. "Your moment?"
"Right." Chan nodded. "Well, we were dancing in my room and, I don't know what happened, but I almost kissed her. And, I don't know, she didn't look like she wanted to, so I back off. And now, I'm lowkey stressing out about it because I surely didn't want to make her uncomfortable."
"She wanted you to kiss her." you responded without hesitation.
"You think so?"
"Chan, I know so." You hesitated to continue with your point, but feeling Minho's hand rubbing your arm let you know it might be time to tell him. "I'm convinced she likes you, because she acts the same way as I did with you."
He frowned his eyebrows. "You like me? Aren't you and Minho... well, you know?"
"I used to, and that's not important." you dismissed the topic. "What I'm saying is she keeps sending you memes to make you smile, she gets shy around you, she said yes to your tutoring..."
"And you told me she even bought you coffee for one of your lessons with her." Minho added.
He looked at you both, still uncertain. "Should I invite her to my party, then?"
"What party?"
"My end of the school term party. In two days."
"Go for it, yeah." Minho encouraged. "Are we invited?"
"If you promise to keep it in your pants, yes."
Right. A party. With girls. And Minho. The guy who hooked up here and there after his breakup with Byeol. The same one you were currently in love with. Great.
"You know me better." he laughed with Chan. "I'll behave, I promise."
Later, on the walk back to Minho's, since you had planned to stay at his place, you were more quiet than usual. You were holding hands, but your grip was loose, and you couldn't focus properly.
"What's wrong, kitten?" he asked worriedly.
"What do you think of Siyeon?" you said, mentioning a pretty girl in your common class.
"What is this question?" he chuckled, not sure in where you were going with this.
"She's cute, has good grades, is nice to everyone. And Chan is going to invite her at the party, probably."
He raised an eyebrow at you. "Your point?"
"You could ask her out." you shrugged.
With that, Minho let go of your hand. "I could, but I won't."
"Why? Sorry, but it just hit me that you haven't gone out with someone in a very long time."
"I don't know. I suppose I'm not very in the mood of fucking around anymore. You also stopped talking about Chan with me. I'm not the only one acting differently." he pointed out.
"I said it earlier, I don't like Chan anymore." you rolled your eyes.
"Well, then. Our romantic lives are bland."
"They are."
The conversation was cut short as he didn't have anything else to say. He took your hand again, and led you to his dorm. You got there pretty quickly, and you still hadn't said a word to each other. It didn't mean you didn't understand what was happening, both of you implying the lack of love you had could only mean one thing.
The moment he closed his front door, he grabbed you by the waist to pull you closer and crashed his lips onto yours. You were taken aback at first, not sure on how you should be reacting, but it quickly faded as you melted into the kiss. While he was needy, he was also being extremely gentle with you, making sure he didn't hurt you in any way. It didn't take long for you to get to his room, and he pushed you down gently on the bed. Now hovering you, he deepened the kiss before moving down to place small pecks on your neck.
"Min." you mumbled between heavy breaths, and he hummed against your skin. "This is not a joke, right?"
He separated his mouth from your skin to look at you curiously. "What do you mean?"
"You used to be very... physical with other girls. I just want to make sure I'm not some doll you're playing with before throwing it away."
He looked at you with fondness as he stroke your cheek softly. "I thought I made it clear I've wanted you for months, now. Not just physically, like you said." He pecked your forehead. "If I can have you." Kissed your cheek. "I don't want the skin ship only, this time." He stopped as he glanced at your lips. "I want all of you."
You were the one to initiate this time when you brought him closer, kissing him hungrily. The unspoken tension there was before was no longer there. It was like kissing each other had dropped all of your walls, and you were now fully exposed to one another.
"I fucking hated it when you cried about Chan." he said in-between the kisses.
"Really?"
"Fuck, yes." he said, going back to sucking your neck.
"I hated how much you flirted with me, knowing you weren't sincere." you admitted.
"Trust me, kitten, I was fucking sincere."
You started to play with the hem of his shirt, tugging in a few times. He backed away and smirked at you before leading your hands to help him take off his shirt. The sight in front of you was mesmerizing. You already had the idea that he had a good body because of his dancing, but you certainly did not expect him to look this hot.
"Damn." you let out without thinking.
"I know, I'm hot." he winked at you.
"Of course, you know." you rolled your eyes.
"I'm joking." he chuckled as he pecked your lips. "Are you okay if we continue? I want you to feel comfortable."
"I'm more than okay."
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The party started out well. You had come in advance to help Chan with the preparations, but mostly to help him calm down. The poor guy was so nervous, not knowing whether Eunhee was going to show up or not.
As people kept coming in, you kept on looking out for any signs of Minho. He texted you he had some errands to run for the cats before coming, but you just wanted to see him. After your night together, you spent the next two days doing finals which didn't allow you to meet up again. The morning after, however, he did ask you out on a date to which you gladly said yes. Although labels were not discussed, it wasn't necessary because you both knew you wanted the same thing.
"Hey, Seungmin!" you welcomed the man as you opened the door.
"Still acting like Chan's place is yours?" he joked.
"I've come here so much, it's like my second home." you laughed with him. "Come on in!"
You joined Chan back in the kitchen as he was starting to prepare the snacks. You started helping him out, though you were very much distracted. Looking at your phone every minute or so, Chan pointed it out, making fun of you.
"You tell me to stop doing that with Eunhee, and you're doing the same with Minho."
You froze in place before slowly turning your head to him. "I never told you I was seeing Minho."
"Y/N, you two have been eye fucking each other for weeks. It did surprise me, but I'm not blind. You love him."
You blushed, as shyness crept over. "Yeah, he's really great."
"I can see that. I haven't see you so happy since, well, since forever actually. I'm happy for you."
"Thank you, Channie."
You exchanged smiles before going back to preparing the food. It felt great to spend some quality time with him after such a long time.
"You two fucked, haven't you?"
Your eyes widened from his words.
"Chan!"
"What?" he said innocently. "You have dark spots on your neck, that's all."
You grew embarrassed, but couldn't help but laugh. You haven't noticed until now that Minho had marked you that much. You thought he was being gentle enough to not have done so, but it was visibly the opposite. Just then, you noticed a familiar figure appear in front of you, which made the both of you shut up.
"HI! Eunhee, um, wow. You made it! I mean, I didn't expect you to be here. I should, uh-" Chan spilled out, straightening his posture.
Trying to prevent him from embarrassing himself any further, you hit him slightly with your elbow to shut him up before turning your attention to the girl in front of you. "Good to see you."
"You too. I hope I'm not interrupting." she flickered her gaze between the two.
"Of course not!" you both denied, not wanting to give her the wrong image.
Chan stood there awkwardly before starting to walk away. "I should go greet the others. Talk to you later?" he told her, and you gave him a look as to ask him what he was doing.
You didn't know what to say to her. Seriously, it was Chan's responsibility to talk to her and fix whatever happened between them. You just kept on pouring bowls of chips, but ended up speaking.
"I really didn't expect you here. Chan had kind of given up after you ignored him."
It came pettier than what you had intended, but at least the message was there.
"It wasn't intentional. I mean, I did purposely ignore him but I had reasons." she justified, but you shook your head for her to stop.
"I'm not asking you to tell me why, you must have had good reasons. I just..." You hesitated to keep going, afraid you would be saying something you shouldn't. "He told me about how you almost kissed and I'm just letting you know that Chan is not someone to play around with. I don't know why he likes you so much while barely noticing me, but I'm warning you. You don't know him like I do and I know Chan is going to prioritize who he loves first. I don't want this thing going on with you two to be hurting anyone."
Her silence was torturing you as she was processing everything you told her. You replayed the scene in your mind, trying to spot anything you could have said wrongly. But nothing came to you.
"I came here to fix things with him." she finally spoke. "I don't know the history between you two, and visibly you are closer than anyone here. If I hurt you in any way, I'm so sorry. I just wanted to pass my class, that's it."
You had definitely fucked up by indirectly mentioning your former crush on the guy. This was obviously not the outcome you were expecting, you simply wanted to let her know that Chan was precious and needed to be taken care of even when he didn't want to.
"No, I-"
"It's okay, Y/N. You two clearly have something going on. I know for a fact Chan doesn't like me like that and he's way better off with you."
She left before you could explain any further. You cursed under your breath as you tried to catch up to her. However, you were stopped when someone brought you into a hug before familiar lips met yours.
"Hey, there." Minho grinned at you. "You're looking beautiful."
While your heart wanted to stay with him and melt at his compliments, your mind knew you had to make things right with Eunhee.
"Thank you, Min. I have to do something real quick. Do you mind getting me a drink in the meantime?" you pecked his cheek. "I'll be right back, okay?"
"Alright." he nodded before bringing you into another hug. He leaned on your side so his mouth could be next to your ear. "I'm sorry about the hickeys, by the way."
And he left. He was surely making you feel things, but now was not the moment. You walked through the crowd of people, trying to find Eunhee, but you simply couldn't as there were too many people. Looking behind you, your eyes laid on Chan, alone in the kitchen. You went to him as fast as you could.
"Chan!" you exclaimed out of breath. "Have you seen Eunhee?"
When you took a better look at him, his face had nothing but confusion, sadness, and pure anger.
"What did you say to her?"
And, you were fucked. You shut your eyes closed, taking a deep breath to prepare yourself for the argument that you felt was coming. Chan was rarely mad, but you did not want to be around when he was. Now that he was actually pissed, it was even worse that it was at you.
"So you saw her."
Chan rolled his eyes, as if it was the most obvious thing. "She said you were waiting for me in the kitchen. What have you told her?"
"Nothing untrue, I swear." you breathed out, trying to be careful with your words. "I think she misinterpreted a lot of what I said."
"What did you say exactly?" he asked again, growing impatient.
You took a deep breath in, and searched for any help around, but everyone was having fun and Minho was nowhere to be seen. "I might have spilled out I had a crush on you, but she took it as if I still do." He groaned in frustration, passing his hand through his curly locks. "I also said you like her, and I might have mentioned that you two being together could potentially end up hurting the both of you..."
If you thought he was furious earlier, now he was on full rage mode. Honestly, you had never seen him so mad, and it frightened you quite a bit.
"Why on Earth would tell her that?" he almost growled at you.
"Why? For fuck's sake, Chan, how was I supposed to know what to tell her? You left me there because you were too much of a baby to face her yourself." you snapped at him, which he had seemingly not expected.
"You know me enough to not say shit like that! And I am hosting this whole thing and I saw people coming in. It was the least I could do."
"Fuck off with your lame excuse, because we both know Changbin was already doing so. And for your information, I don't know you as well as I used to because sir decided to disappear out of my life."
He huffed at you as he looked around. He was lost and didn't know what to do now.
"Yeah, I told you already that I'm sorry. But if you love me so much, you wouldn't have told her off by saying you have a crush on me." he yelled out, being heard by almost everyone in the room.
Behind him, you spotted Minho's eyes already staring at you. He was fuming too, walking towards your direction. You didn't know whether he was angry because of you or Chan, but you were definitely worried at that point.
"Y/N." he called out.
"Minho, can we not-"
"So it's Minho, now?" You exhaled loudly, wondering how the night had even taken this turn. "I thought you said you were over him."
"Minho, stay out of this." Chan put his arm in front of him to prevent him from approaching you any closer.
You recognized the protectiveness Chan had of you within his tone, which reassured you a bit that he still cared, at least. Minho didn't fight back, but sent you a disappointed look instead.
"I'll leave you to it, then."
With that, he stormed out of the apartment, not looking back. Meanwhile, the tears you had been holding back until then flooded out and you broke down as Chan held you.
"Hey, hey, it's okay. I'm sorry, it's my fault."
The softness he had after being so enraged took you by surprise, but you truly needed your best friend at the moment. "I'm sorry." you sobbed out.
"Y/N, it's okay. Don't be sorry. You know I can be pretty stupid, right?" he pat your head, and you nodded as a small laugh left your mouth. "I'm the one at fault, here. I should have talked to Eunhee myself, and I shouldn't have yelled at you. Minho is very sensitive, you know that, right? He'll come around, I'm sure of it."
It amazed you how he was still able to find the right words for any circumstances. You loved him, for real. But not that kind of love. This one was reserved for Minho. The only thing on your mind was to run after him. You hurt him, and you couldn't bear with the thought.
"Thank you, Chan. I'm also sorry."
He shook his head. "I told you to stop saying that." It made you chuckle.
"Do you think I should go after him?"
He smirked. "Go get your damsel in distress."
Still sobbing, you snorted at his words before you hurried to get out of his apartment. You felt grateful to have went so many times to his place to know his dorm number. Otherwise, you would have given up much quicker. You stopped in front of his door and knocked softly. You heard someone moving from the other side, and heard a sigh.
"Min." you called out.
To your shock, he opened the door, only a bit, and looked at you. He looked tired, and you noticed he had changed into his pyjamas. He hummed as a greeting, obviously still mad at what happened.
"Can we talk?"
He really didn't want to, but your puffy red eyes and simply the sight of you was enough to break him apart. So he let you in. You smiled widely when you were greeted by your favourite cats. You scratched their heads briefly, before turning your attention back on Minho. He was leaning on his counter (which was hot, let's be honest) and crossed his arms as he waited for you to talk.
"I really and certainly do not like Chan."
"Reassuring." he commented, but received a glare from you to tell him to let you speak.
"What happened was he left me alone with Eunhee and I said some things to her that she interpreted as if I still liked him. Chan got mad and he impulsively said that. I told him about us already, he knows."
He frowned at your words. "Us."
"Yeah, us." you repeated, taking a chance by walking up to him.
Thankfully, he let you place yourself right in front of him. He uncrossed his legs so you could have some space, and you approached him. You took his face in your hands, looking at him lovingly.
"What did you tell him about us, precisely?" he asked, placing his hands on your waist.
"I told him that you're great."
"Just that?"
"He knows we fucked."
He raised his eyebrows as he looked up. "Should have expected that."
You slapped his cheek playfully as you pouted, and he chuckled because you were just adorable. "Shut up."
"Sorry. Go on?" he laughed.
You got closer to him, your lips lingering over his. He would have kissed you, but he wanted to hear what you had left to say.
"And I admitted that I might love you."
He backed away, not having expected this. "Love?"
You sighed. "Dude, we've been acting like a couple for months, and we see each other pretty much every day. Don't act surprised."
He frowned even more. "Dude? Really? I call you princess, kitten, or pretty. And I get dude."
"Min." you whined, but he could only laugh.
He loved messing around with you, but he knew when to stop. "I'll be dude if that's what makes you happy, love."
You grinned from ear to ear. "Shall I take this as you love me too?"
"Don't make me say it, kitten."
You chuckled and played with his hair. He adjusted his posture and was now the one hovering you. His eyes went straight to your lips, and he didn't ask to kiss you before doing so. You smiled and kissed him back, not forgetting to hold him close.
"I fucking won over Bang Chan." he bragged after pulling away from you.
"That was an easy win." you snorted.
"Ah yeah? Am I that irresistible?"
"You know you are."
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vhstown · 6 months
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miles g morales ★ general headcanons
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warnings: sort of angsty, mentions of his dad's death, money being tight and such 😞
a/n: hi my little piranhas im feeding you today say AHHHHHHHH.... all my random non-relationship miles g thoughts dumped into one! he has 6 lines but less is more right 😁 im okay i promi
Let me just geek out about his non-existent gear functions for a moment 😞 Miles is all about little modifications and improvement so when he messes around with his uncle's gear he decides to make some adjustments to the design and also the functionality. Has his own spin to all of his gear cause a part of him really wants to be like the superheroes he sees in comics with their own sort of persona. But of course it has to be functional so...!
All of his gear is coordinated and he has a mode where he can turn off all the lights for stealth and such! The lights are actually off most of the time but he puts them on to show off mostly or make himself known when he's bored of waiting.
A really cool function would be if he could redirect or offset his lights so when he's fighting in complete darkness he can easily confuse his enemies. Tends to scope out places and mess around with the power supplies — uses the occasional smoke bomb too. He's in his element in dark, maze-like places, which essentially makes Brooklyn his concrete playground.
Scarily good at lockpicking. Has broken into his own house multiple times from forgetting his keys. He can open most doors with simple tools and disable electronic locks with a little work.
Can I just mention his shoes as well... they're like the jumpy shoes from Subway Surfers you can't prove me wrong until the next movie comes out like— Okay no but seriously I imagine he can stick to surfaces and things and maybe they can propell him upwards? You see those glowing lights idk figure it out 😞
Also somebody (I have no idea who but here's the link to the original post) had a headcanon that he'd have a high auditory intelligence, so for a while, he spends time developing a voice modulator. He likely has one anyway to keep his identity a secret, but what he really wants to do is is create a device that can replicate other people's voices.
Because he's good with sound and physics he makes it work in no less than a few weeks. The first voice he tries is his uncle's and he says a bunch of dumbass stuff. (Aaron is a little annoyed but more proud of his nephew than anything.) Eventually it gets to the point where he can calibrate it with a couple clicks since he has such a good ear for frequencies and the like that deceiving villains is no trouble at all.
I think Aaron and Miles would still have that cool uncle and nephew relationship but its also a mentor and student one. While Miles is good at the tech stuff I think he's a pretty lousy fighter at the beginning and Aaron has to teach him a LOT.
Uncle Aaron probably used to fight for sport back in the day (boxing mayhaps? 😁) so a lot of Miles' technique stems from MMA due to its versatility (anything hand-to-hand at least.) Even then, most of the problem is being able to think quick and act quicker, so Miles goes through lots of practical training (so he's being chased by the Sinister Six from day one 😭) It's well worth it though because without the Spider-powers he has a lot of catching up to do.
While training with Aaron he's exposed to a lot of his old records and develops a taste for jazz. He comes to associate certain manoeuvres with the way the music goes, so he tends to hum to himself while casually knocking the wind out of people. His uncle finds it just a little creepy, but again, he's glad to see Miles coming along.
In fact, Aaron is relieved. His nephew had been reserved and was pretty much holed up in his own room for weeks after his dad passed. Of course the passing of Jefferson was hard on Aaron, but Miles has it even harder. Eventually, they decide to paint the mural together, and Miles lets Aaron know what's on his mind. He's always been close to his uncle but especially then spending time roaming the streets, painting, boxing and listening to old records was his lifeline.
Miles figures out his uncle is the Prowler before Aaron even lets him in on it. After seeing how determined his nephew his is, that's when it all started.
But with everything going on in his vigilante life, his normal life is something he has has to be careful not to fall behind on. At the age where college applications are coming up, Miles is driven to the bone with school, despite not actually being there half the time. Still, he's somehow averaging As and the occasional B, easily the top of his class in AP Physics and Calc.
He doesn't try to talk to people in school like he might've before, but he's not antisocial by any means (sometimes his bluntness is mistaken for talking back though 💀)
He's also the type of dude to do homework as soon as the teacher hands it out, because he knows he will not have time later (and to avoid all the night-before crises of freshman year.)
Rio is being pulled thin too, always covering shifts for her colleagues at the hospital just so she can have a little extra pay. She's been saving for Miles' birthday since his last one, always checks his clothes for holes or if they still fit, and makes sure there's something in the microwave if she can't be there for dinner. Rio makes sure he always has everything he needs, even while paying bills and rent. They're not struggling too much, but it's not like they can do whatever they want.
Despite that, they're managing; what she doesn't know is that the sigh of relief she breathes every month is because of him. Miles always makes sure to take care of his belongings, put in any cash he makes from his "part time job" into her account, just doing whatever he can to help. Also, he's become more and more protective of his mom, and he always takes the opportunity to do errands for her, especially when it's getting dark outside.
Miles is actually more paranoid than her when it comes to saving. Even when it's winter, and she tells him to turn on the heating whenever, you best believe he's throwing on his jacket in his own room and firming the cold. It's entirely unnecessary of course, but he can't shake the guilt when he feels the only reason his mom works so hard is because of him. They've moved twice already and there's no way they're moving again, so if the landlord gives them trouble he'll just give them hell (let's just hope it won't come to that.)
Miles learnt how to treat his own injuries from Rio. She taught him basic first aid at the very least, and on a couple of occasions he's tried to learn things himself with the clunky old first aid kit at home. Rio never asks why the stitch on one of their pillows is done with dental floss, and looks strangely like that of a suture (a very bad one at that.)
His Spanish also improved a lot too. After his dad's passing, he met a lot of relatives from his mom's side that he doesn't remember ever seeing before, but it encourages him to learn how to speak better. Long gone are the days of silently observing family drama over the phone — he has to keep up now, and he'll defend his mom cada día de la semana (even if she's somewhat embarrassed by it.) Essentially he's at that level of fluency where he can be rude without being rude 😭 (just saying some of the things his relatives say are NOT helpful.)
With all of this going on in his life, it's no surprise that sleep doesn't come easy. Or maybe it is, considering how much he works his body. Either way, he's left staring at the ceiling or curled up on his side most nights, the untouched toys and collectibles in his room to keep him company. Miles used to sleep at 8pm on the dot and wake up at 6; that was when things were good, and he didn't have his whole universe on his shoulders. All his bed is now is a place to collapse, and close his eyes until it's light outside. Most days, he's exhausted — bone-tired — but the most he gets is a light, forced, uncomfortable sleep. It's one in which he wakes up more tired than he was the night before, but he presses on, getting exercise in during the morning and trying to make breakfast for his mom because he knows a slice of toast is the most she'd bother to have.
And despite all that's changed since his dad has passed, Miles is still a kid. He has a thousand pictures from the time he went to Comic-con, a sketchbook full of drawings he never finishes, meticulously-organised playlists, college applications — all in the midst of a city that's falling apart at the seams as much as he is.
But he's okay, for now. As much as he can be.
"Keep your head up, son."
It's what his dad would've wanted, at the very least.
@phoenixinthefiles @qiupachups
hey 😊 "where's ain't no love part thre—" (GLASS SHATTERING NOISE) (CAT MRYEOWING) (BABY CRYING) (POLICE SIRENS) (WEE WOO WEE WOO)
forget miles IM being pulled thin ... half of this may or may not be projection... schrödingers headcanons anyone 😞 anyways ive been like busy. so . SOON! (lying in 4K)
reblogs appreciated!!! 😘 FIND MY MASTERLIST HERE and urrrr my 42 x reader headcanons here if you're interested ?
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enden-k · 8 months
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in response to this
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kaveh if he breaks smth by accident is just this chibi like, all of it:
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(just with some additional tears in his eyes if it rlly was smth bad AKJBKJ baby)
also agree. kaveh is an architect, an artist, someone who creates so seeing himself being like an evil (or corrupted as the anon said) version to take smth away, erasing existence...........ngl its interesting concept but he would be devastated fr 😭 using kaveh of all ppl for this aughh
unless u wanna think of it more comical and less angsty, and have him go like nah this thing ugly im just gonna unmake you *deletes offending monument* akhsjcbkj but he wouldnt simply go through this in someone elses world, especially if it manipulates/influences their game in a bad way
but!! imagine if kaveh had this skill fr (not only bursting dendro cores but simply making objects vanish after changing their traits), he would simply delete all the ugly furniture in haithams house that truly insults his eyes AKJSBCKJ can you imagine it go like:
"well, al haitham, i got rid of your entire bedroom because it was just too ugly. thank me later." ....suddenly, later in the evening, kaveh finds himself squished in his own bed between haitham and the wall - his own bed that is way too narrow for two grown men, especially one of haithams size and mass. all because haitham is like "considering this is my house, your bedroom is also mine so i will simply take it until you put every single piece of furniture back to where it belonged."
(this turned into a full, usual youn ramble lol rest is UTC)
kaveh is too proud and refuses to simply give up on his bed to sleep on the divan so he stubbornly stays, which comes back at him to bite his ass when hes in bed and gets a faceful of haithams bare chest and when he turns to face the wall hes too aware of the scribes warm body against his back - its like his dreams came true a nightmare
still too proud to admit defeat and let haitham have his bed, kaveh continues sharing his bed even though he barely gets any sleep with haitham right there. he also starts actually crafting haithams furniture by himself, at first all annoyed with him and simply wanting to finish this as fast as he can no matter how ugly, so he can have his own room for himself again before smth stupid happens (like kaveh giving in and kissing him or confessing)
but as soon as he learns from first hand that haitham is quite the cuddler in his sleep (the first time a sleeping haithams arms wrapped around his waist to pull him into him got him so flustered he didnt sleep at all that night), them getting closer everytime theyre sleeping (the amount of times theyre spooning or lying on top of each other all cuddled up is increasing)............haitham growing more soft now that they spend their nights together, having more of kaveh................his work turns from simply trying to replace what he made disappear to more thoughtful, loving pieces
a bed that resembles haithams older one, but big enough for two people to comfortably sleep in there (not that he designed it with himself in mind, its just....well.....a big bed is always nice and haitham takes up quite a lot of place right? totally not designed for both of them) with curtains in this soothing teal shade he knows haitham is fond of and nice patterns to block out the sun falling through the stained windows if he wants to sleep in; a closet with pretty, geometrical carvings matching his bed that haitham probably doesnt even care about; a nightstand with even a holder for his headset to place on, etc etc
its haithams bedroom but with small changes and improvements regarding design and comfort that kaveh did just for haitham. and he notices. of course he does
however, they got so used and comfortable to this whole (awkward at first) sleeping situation (bc it wasnt just kaveh loving to fall asleep in a sleeping, cuddly haithams arms, it was also haitham loving to wake up to the sight of a sleeping kaveh too) that every now and then kaveh slips into haithams (way too comfortable) bed ("well, i designed it so technically its also my bed") and even though its way bigger than kavehs bed, they somehow still seek each other out and find their way to cuddle up to each other
it doesnt take long until its not just their bodies seeking each other out but also their lips
not longer until the first utters a confession against the others skin, asking him to stay as their fingers intertwine and more kisses are exchanged
and not even longer for them to turn haithams bedroom, all designed and crafted by kaveh with love and care, into their bedroom
tl;dr: not only are they roommates, theres also only one bed (no clickbait)
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wowa-bublord · 22 days
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Mentally lying on my bed and kicking my feet like a schoolgirl while joyously waiting for more Zack and Cloud sketchies ❤️ In your AU is Cloud completely conscious and aware when he first breaks out of his coma? Or is there a sort of in-between zone for awhile? If there is, is Zack overjoyed or worried out of his mind (or both)? Does Cloud struggle with allowing somebody to take care of him?
Sending you virtual hugs should you want them or a crisp and respectful nod of the head if not!
IM SORRY this ask only just showed up in my inbox but it says it's from march 24th?? tumblr killing me with daggers,,,, This is going to be a long one sorry!! I'll explain the stages of his coma first, and then the stages of waking up from it.
In the beginning, while they are on the run, Cloud is in.. something close to a catatonic state. He can perform basic instincts, such as blinking, swallowing, the small stumble-steps he's shown doing in gameplay, and making small noises. In my au/headcanon, this is because of the Mako keeping his body up and functioning in spite of his intense poisoning. Because of the Mako, his muscles also don't atrophy during this period. He has no memories from this era at all.
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After this, a little before the battalion but mostly after, his body begins to heal from his Mako poisoning. Which is good. but the lack of the access Mako leaves his body with far less functions. He begins to lose the ability to eat, becomes unable to even stumble, his eyes shut and don't open again. He falls into a full comatose state. Which, although it is very scary for Zack, and takes a lot more work and medical equipment, is actually a good sign for his healing. Fighting off mako poisoning this far is already rare.
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(In this segment, he is kept fed and hydrated through his IV, but he switches to an NG tube after he wakes up, due to the inconvenience of the IV and continued difficulty swallowing.)
His first signs of waking up were a few weeks before he opened his eyes. He began responding to stimuli, ears flicking at noises, hands tensing, eyes occasionally opening but not for long. It's at this stage that he also starts having nightmares, and becomes more aware of his environment. He has blurry memories from this era, but in the moment he was mostly just confused and distressed, and didn't process it. this took up most of the few weeks.
After some time, he began to have more moments of consciousness and rational thought. He could start to respond to simple questions or requests such as blinking or closing his hands. He only vaguely remembers this. It lasts a few days
when he actually began to wake up, initially he was incredibly upset and confused, not being recovered enough to actually process the situation. This resulted in him lashing out, not knowing where he was and initially not recognizing zack, he struggled and tried to pull his tubes out. This was the final stage to his waking up, only lasts an hour? possibly a few hours? and he was finally fully awake after this!!
When Cloud woke up from his coma, his body was incredibly weak from being bedridden so much. His muscles had atrophied severely over the few months, which put him in a wheelchair as they worked on him recovering.
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In this stage, he is mostly determined to improve again. He feels a lot of gratitude towards Zack for taking care of him so much, and a lot of frustration towards himself for not recovering faster.
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his next stage was crutches, he recovered his arm strength faster than his legs. He begins to pick up on zack overworking himself, but he's unsure how to approach it, and often ends up saying the wrong thing. (He still uses an NG tube in this era, but he begins to be able to eat on his own, so he doesn't have it in for much longer)
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His next stage is using a cane, which he ends up using for a long while. Even after his muscles have recovered, he maintains knee/hip pain for the rest of his life. He also has migraines and memory issues like in canon. At this stage, he begins to get frustrated with Zack more and more. He appreciates Zacks help, but feels frustrated with feeling like Zack doesn't trust him to take care of himself, and upset with how Zack prioritizes Cloud so much over himself. Due to these frustrations, he grows more confrontational. (<- comic linked is not 100% canon to this au, just an example.) Zack is overjoyed that Cloud is awake. He thought Clouds return to consciousness would help his fears and guilt ease, but for some reason he finds himself more worried than ever. He always backs off when Cloud says he wants space, but he finds himself worrying about what Cloud is doing now that he isn't able to be monitoring him all the time, and then guilty for feeling so worried.
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vera-deville · 1 year
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Hi! Could you please write Luka Couffaine x fem. reader who has trouble talking about their feelings? Writes him letters, love poems or plays the drums for him because it's easier for her to show her feelings like that? Sorry for my English it is not my first language.
02/28/2023 - 03/29/2023
Pairing: Luka Couffaine x Reader
Word Count: 867
Warnings: Nothing that I can think of!
Gender: AFAB
In which Luka has a significant other who has a hard time expressing her feelings.
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Luka Couffaine absolutely adored Y/N. The girl had captured his heart, mind, and soul, and he had no trouble expressing it. However, the same could not be said the other way around.
Other people labeled Y/N as someone cold and uncaring, but only a select few knew of her true nature - she simply could not express herself in the ways others would. And Luka understood completely.
Y/N had a small group of friends (most of whom had never even met each other, but knew the existence of). She wasn't one to stick to one particular friend group after all. A good friend was a good friend. Nothing more, nothing less.
And two of her very good friends were Juleka and Rose. Originally, Y/N had only Juleka (since she went to the same school as Luka), but quickly became acquainted with Rose as well. And for that, Y/N thanked whatever lucky stars she had.
The whole process of confessing to Luka was already gut-wrenchingly terrifying, seeing as she had no idea how to go about it, whether Luka would return her affections (even though Juleka said he would), and if she was actually dateable material.
But after the confession, a lot of her worries were put to rest. Luka was the sweetest boyfriend she could have asked for, and she was extremely grateful for having met him.
Luka was someone who was fairly affectionate (not like some of the couples she's seen walking in Paris being overly lovey-dovey), but he also never shied away from letting her know what was on his mind.
If there was a particular moment where Y/N was caught up doing something and was quite focused on it (such as homework), Luka would find himself simply staring at the girl, absolutely in awe of the work of art he had the honor of calling his girlfriend. (Yes, he's tried sneaking some photos of her when she wasn't looking).
And when he was caught, Y/N would ask, "what're you staring at?"
Only to be met with, "just caught up in the ethereal masterpiece in front me."
To which Y/N would feel her face heat up and a warm sort of buzz envelope her whole being. She'd become a little flustered and brush off his oh so charming and teasing self, but looking at him once more, she realizes every time that Luka wasn't teasing at that moment. He meant every word.
So when others meet her and find out she's in a relationship with Luka, they wonder how on Earth the relationship works. Luka was pretty well known and well-liked. But Y/N wasn't like that. She stayed to herself for the most part, and she'd never initiate any sort of PDA with her boyfriend.
And some of these people would take to whispering about this behind (or so they thought) Y/N's back.
She'd feel bad about it, but not to the point where she'd find herself spiraling down a rabbit hole of self-hate and whatnot. But that didn't stop her from wanting to improve. And what better way to improve than by asking two of her best friends?
"Aww, it's so cute that you want to be more lovey-dovey with Luka!" Rose gushed. Juleka had a slight smile on her face, finding the situation slightly humorous. The involved parties were her brother and one of her closest friends. How could she not be entertained? Especially when said close friend was going on a tirade vaguely reminiscent of Marinette's tirades about Adrien.
Rose suggested making a perfume for Luka, and Y/N thought that it was such a good idea that she'd probably do that for his birthday. "What if you write him a letter?" Juleka asked. Pondering over the idea, Y/N decided that it indeed was a good idea.
But what to write?
And so some amount of days passed, and Y/N finally ended up finishing her letter to Luka. It wasn't anything elegant or pretty or anything of the sort. It was goofy, filled with her typical sarcasm, and most importantly, it was heartfelt. Now, the only thing left was to actually give the letter to Luka.
Which was still quite hard surprisingly.
Y/N assumed that once the letter was finished, she'd just hand it over to the turquoise-haired boy and bada-bing bada-boom, romance!
Apparently it doesn't work like that.
Apparently you pour your heart out into the letter, but then you feel nervous to actually give the letter to your oh so accepting boyfriend.
But somehow Y/N pushed down her anxiety and gave the letter to Luka when they sat down after getting their ice cream. Opening it, Luka's face gradually morphed into one of extreme joy (and if Y/N didn't know any better, smugness), before he pressed a chaste kiss onto Y/N's cheek.
And from that day onwards, Y/N would (every once in a while) gift Luka letters, love poems, and even play the drums for him as means of physically showing her affection for him. It was their own little dynamic and some may have found it odd, but to them, it was perfect.
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Author's Note: Once again, I'm really sorry for taking so long to complete this fic. I hope you enjoy it (if not, feel free to request again, since I honestly don't feel like I did my very best with this one).
I'm still in the middle of trying to find a specific fic format to stick to. I've tried looking at a bunch of other fanfic writers' profiles and the format they use to write their fics, but I'm still not 100% sure if what I'm doing right now is what I want to continue doing.
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thisismyname43 · 1 month
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So I decided to do more research on Tsunderes...
As someone who really likes SMG3 (and is also an active SMG34 shipper) I wanted to see if SMG4 was onto something when calling SMG3 a Tsundere.
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Immediately this reminded me of IGBP. You know at the end where everyone is standing next to the pit and SMG4 says, "Nah I'd do anything to not lose my friends". SMG3's reaction was EXACTLY this. "I'm not your friend, baka!". But instead of buying SMG4 lunch, SMG3 risked his life and safety for him, knowing full well he could die he still went to save SMG4 because he loves him. How would you risk your life to save someone elses and NOT love them? And even after all of that SMG3 still denies the implication that he even slightly likes SMG4 to "save face".
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Okay guys the amount of times SMG3 has called SMG4 "baka" is insane. And remember, he only calls SMG4 that. SMG3 is constantly annoying SMG4, which causes problems in their relationship just like how the image says. This specifically reminds me of the episode "Christmas Wars" when SMG3 mocked SMG4 saying, "Aw are you a little mad I took all your friends?" trying to hit him where it hurts. SMG3 tries to make it seem like he hates SMG4 by saying these mean things to him even if he actually doesn't.
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This right here is very SMG3 core. He is always talking about how much better he is than SMG4, going extreme lengths to try and prove it. (Personally I think this is to help him ignore his feelings of low self worth but that's not what we're talking about rn). SMG3 makes it seem like he firmly believes he is above SMG4 in every way even if evidence says otherwise. This causes him to put SMG4 down to make SMG3 feel better about himself. I also think in some cases SMG3 says these things to try and convince himself that he actually dislikes SMG4 (he doesn't).
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THIS RIGHT HERE. This is EXACTLY how SMG3's character has progressed with SMG4. SMG3 hated SMG4 with a passion back a couple of years ago. Even trying to destroy him and his friends while taking over his channel. But after some time you'll see SMG3 getting less murderous and more chill when it comes to SMG4. It got to the point where now they're pretty damn casual with each other, frequently asking for favors and even hanging out. This is a huge change and improvement to SMG3's overall attitude and can be perfectly summarized in this image here.
So overall, what does this tell us?
Final thoughts:
SMG3 is definitely a Tsundere and SMG4 is 100% his love interest. The overwhelming amount of evidence is crazy, if SMG3 really is a Tsundere there is absolutely NO way SMG4 ISN'T his love interest.
My mind is not being changed 👍
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fruity-fruition · 15 days
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More Tenma Siblings Headcanons from the top of my head
Ok this one's more hurt/comfort-ish than my last one
--
Tsukasa's first creation in terms of script writing and song is actually a really scuffy lullaby made when Saki first felt really bad in the hospital after THE show (the one that made Tsukasa want to become a star).
Tsukasa decided to put on his first self-made show with a song specially for her.
When Toya first came to them upset (specifically the "Never Give Up Cooking!" Flashback), Tsukasa puts on the exact same show for him as well. In his logic, it's because of how well it worked for Saki, but in a more outsider's sense, it's a Tenma initiation. Toya has no escape now. He's stuck as a Tenma.
While the song is really REALLY awkward and scuffed (he's literally a pre-tween leave him be), it becomes a staple between the three.
Eventually, as they grow up, the song does get less awkward with some tweeks in lyrics, rhythm, etc.
It was a bonding moment between them as well, song-writing together. It helped both Saki and Toya discover their absolute love for creating, just like how the song was Tsukasa's first step to creation.
It became a habit for Tsukasa to at least hum it to them when they're cuddling, or when he's comforting them. Toya came running from home and needs a place to stay? He runs his hands through his hair while voicing out the melody. Saki's gets a sudden hit of separation anxiety? She hears the faintest hum coming from her brother, who doesn't mind at all that she's clinging onto him so hard.
This results is both Saki and Toya humming the song whenever they're stressed. Saki sometimes get scolded in the middle of the test for humming (she didn't even realised she started). VBS silently wonders about the melody Toya sings before shows.
There's an area conversation between Emu, Tsukasa and Kaito, where Emu asks Kaito if the flowers always sing the same song. Kaito responds "No, they sing other songs. But they like to sing this one. This song you're always hearing is a song very special to Tsukasa" (or something along those lines). And Tsukasa snaps his finger and went "oh, so that's why it sounded familiar!"
Yeah. Yeah it's this lullaby.
Tsukasa has a bunch of blank memories from his childhood because of how often he suppressed his emotions,
(Fun fact! Suppressing so much emotions can cause amnesia! A really funny thing considering Tsukasa is canonically really forgetful <3)
But this lullaby is the biggest constant thing from his memories. Basically an anchor that his childhood was actually his if that makes sense.
(This one is a bit incoherent sorry I really didn't know how to word this one out)
--
Saki has separation anxiety due to being ripped away from everything she knew at a young age, and while she thinks she doing better now, she still gets a sudden hit of it randomly.
Days like these, she either asks Leo/Need to hang out, or ask Tsukasa or Toya if she could go with them to practice
The first time the entirety of VBS (-Akito since he's met her earlier) meet Saki, they're majorly confused on why she's there. They're also super confused on why this girl keeps glaring at Akito when Toya's not looking.
Emu is absolutely ECSTATIC that Saki's there. Nene and Rui seem to think having her there offers some sort of improvement too. (Rui's trying to get in her good graces)
--
Hhhh I'll update if there's more. This is an addition to my previous post.
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txttletale · 1 year
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nothing about ai art is new
[we’re sitting in a taco bell drive through and ive abused my control over the aux cord to make you listen to indie rock classic apollo 18 by they might be giants for hours on end]
so there’s been a lot of yammering on about stable diffusion and how it will revolutionize/destroy/democratize/annihilate the world of art, depending on which impassioned twitter thread you read. what they all have in common though is (incorrectly) treating this as some radical new shift, an unprecedented leap forward caused by cutting-edge technology. this is wrong: nihil sub sole novum.
this post is not about:
ip law
whether ip law is a good thing (no)
whether ai art is Real Art (what is this girls 1917?)
how AI art actually works (as far as i can tell, like this)
this post is about
karl marx babeyyy
so in a sexy little number called wage labour and capital, carlos marx lays out some of the foundations of marxist theory. these include the labour theory of value (that the value of a thing, whether expressed in the use of something or in its exchange for other things, is only created or increased when a human being performs labour. e.g. fabric + hours of human life = clothing, which is both more useful and more valuable in exchange terms than the fabric) and the division of labour
to make a long and well-written argument short and poorly formulated (seriously, read the original, it’s like 25 pages), the price of a commodity* rises and falls around a base price that’s based on the cost of production. ‘wages’ are simply the term for the price of the commodity of ‘labour-power’, or hours of human labour**--and therefore, they rise and fall around the cost of producing human labour.
now, how much does that cost? pretty simple. first there’s the basic costs of the labourer continuing to survive day to day. then there’s the costs of them having children who can grow up to be labourers and keeping them alive too. finally, there are the costs of the labourer’s training, and these can far outstrip the first two. it’s expensive for a capitalist to hire a digital artist because the cost of producing digital artists (the survival of a human being + years and years of practice) is high--so the commodity of their labour power is priced highly.
however, marx also succintly explains supply and demand--concepts everyone’s probably semi-familiar with. when there are many sellers of a commodity, they compete for buyers by offering their commodities at lower and lower prices.
bearing in mind that ‘wages’ are just the price of the commodity of human labour-power--this means that technological development in production has a twofold depressive effect on wages: not only are less people employed (if a capitalist can produce twice as much of a commodity, they’re not guaranteed twice as much of a market--so they will instead tend towards producing the same amount at half the cost), but more people are capable of doing the work. so for the same process of production, there are more people capable of doing it, and less people needed to do it. as marx puts it:
“The greater division of labour enables one labourer to accomplish the work of five, 10, or 20 labourers; it therefore increases competition among the labourers fivefold, tenfold, or twentyfold. The labourers compete not only by selling themselves one cheaper than the other, but also by one doing the work of five, 10, or 20; and they are forced to compete in this manner by the division of labour, which is introduced and steadily improved by capital. Furthermore, to the same degree in which the division of labour increases, is the labour simplified.
The special skill of the labourer becomes worthless. He becomes transformed into a simple monotonous force of production, with neither physical nor mental elasticity. His work becomes accessible to all; therefore competitors press upon him from all sides. Moreover, it must be remembered that the more simple, the more easily learned the work is, so much the less is its cost to production, the expense of its acquisition, and so much the lower must the wages sink – for, like the price of any other commodity, they are determined by the cost of production. Therefore, in the same manner in which labour becomes more unsatisfactory, more repulsive, do competition increase and wages decrease”
when marx wrote this, he was talking about artisan craftsmen who made goods by hand in small workshop. since then we’ve seen this exact process sweep across every industry, devouring the manufacturing sector, now creeping second by second into the white-collar service economy. now, we are seeing this on the horizon for artists--there’s far more skill in creating AI artwork than some people give credit for, but it is ultimately in terms of time and accessibility easier and broader to do--it will have these effects if it is able to produce output on par, or even just slightly worse than, professional photographers and artists, for a fraction of the cost of labour-power.
so, like, why have i just written all this? to point out that the phenomenon people are scared of wrt AI art driving already precarious working artists into poverty is not some new and endemic technological horror. it is a social process that’s been ongoing for centuries--and the productive forces are not going to roll back, because capitalism demands ever-rising profits which demand ini turn ever-lower costs of production, including (especially) lower costs of production of skilled labour. if you are trying to stop stable diffusion AI tech from being used then you are trying to stop the horse by pulling on the reins of the cart. 
if you are scared that AI art is going to make your passion and profession economically worthless, the tools themselves are not your enemy--it is the system that decides how these tools will be used, that art becoming easier to make is a vector by which to divide and precaritize working artists instead of to broaden access to the joy of creation--in the same way that industrial production has been used to create the system of wage-slavery instead of providing for all, in the same way that will repeat over and over again until the system that allocates resources and labour to maximize profit instead of human welfare is toppled and replaced
[the drive thru employee politely clears their throat. i turn to them and say ‘oh i didnt want anything i just like the smell out here’ and drive away directly into a lake]
*in marxist terms, a commodity is anything that: 1. has use value, as in, someone wants to have it and use it--eat it, wear it, play with it, watch it-- 2. has exchange value, as in, it can be exchanged for other commodities (price is a reflection of this exchange value through money), 3. has value through the application of labour power (someone has worked to produce it. even raw materials count--coal power plants don’t buy coal that’s still in the ground)
**engels explains the distinction between labour-power and labour in the introduction to the 1891 edition:
 “What the economists had considered as the cost of production of “labour” was really the cost of production, not of “labour,” but of the living labourer himself. And what this labourer sold to the capitalist was not his labour.
 At the most, he could sell his future labour – i.e., assume the obligation of executing a certain piece of work in a certain time. But, in this way, he does not sell labour (which would first have to be performed), but not for a stipulated payment he places his labour-power at the disposal of the capitalist for a certain time (in case of time-wages), or for the performance of a certain task (in case of piece-wages). He hires out or sells his labour-power.”
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anthurak · 11 months
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Something I find interesting about rewatching Yang’s scenes talking about her childhood in Volumes 2 and 5 is how she doesn’t really… defend Tai’s actions and the way he seemed to have effectively checked out on her and Ruby for several years after Summer’s disappearance.
Now sure, she doesn’t really decry him, but we don’t hear Yang trying to claim that her father ‘had his reasons’ for what he did or otherwise trying to justify his actions. She just presents what Taiyang did fairly matter-of-factly. Likewise, I think we can see a similarly frank assessment of Tai’s parenting from Ruby in Volume 9 when she directly acknowledges that Yang raised her.
Putting these together, I really get the sense that both Yang and Ruby are very much aware of Tai’s actions and how he let them down as a father, rather than trying to defend or cover for him.
So why has Yang and the story as a whole only given a general, indirect acknowledgement of Tai’s actions and never really confronted him directly about how he let his daughters down as a father?
Well, I think it’s because that rather than trying to defend or cover for their father’s actions, Yang and Ruby are engaging in that much less melodramatic but ALL too common practice of just… not talking about the problems of a close family member.
Rather than going through the surely difficult and ugly process of confronting Tai over how he failed them as a father, Yang and Ruby have taken the fair easier option of simply not talking about it. Even though both of them, particularly Yang, are very much aware of the problem.
It also probably doesn’t help that in the present of the show, Tai has grown into, if not a good parent per-say, at least a decent one. Which in turn probably gives Yang and Ruby even more reason to just… not talk about that time he kinda-sorta abandoned them for several of their formative years.
See also, what Tai does to help Yang’s recovery in Volume 4. Sure, some of his methods were questionable, but he did ultimately help Yang recover and move on, which I think in turn makes Yang all the more reluctant to confront him on his past failings as a father.
So where do I think this is all going?
Well, with the Volume 9 finale clearly sowing the seeds for a major arc of Ruby and Yang diving into aspects of their family history they never knew about, most notably the long-awaited truth of what REALLY happened to Summer, I wouldn’t be surprised at all if some other long-brewing issues started bubbling to the surface as well.
As I’ve stated in other recent posts, at this point Yang’s original recounting of her family history to Blake all the way back in Volume 2 now absolutely REEKS of ‘unreliable narration’, and that there is clearly a WHOLE fucking lot that Yang, and Ruby, have no idea about regarding their parents.
So if during the process of Ruby and Yang finally digging into their family past, they happened to discover that Tai and Qrow have been keeping some massively important pieces of information from them all this time, effectively lying to Ruby and Yang for YEARS?
(say about, I dunno… Ruby’s ‘real’ father actually being a certain angry/depressed bird woman?)
Well I’d say that would be just the thing that could blow the lid off right off a LOT of resentment towards her father that Yang has been bottling up all this time.
I’ve stated this before, but I think it’s worth keeping in mind that ALL of Team STRQ have been presented as well-meaning yet massively flawed/shitty/fuckup parents to Ruby and Yang in each their own way. For one, all of them bailed on their daughters in one way or another, whether it be Raven and Summer bailing physically, Taiyang emotionally/psychologically, or Qrow doing a bit of both.
Thus far, we’ve seen two members of Team STRQ confronted by either Ruby or Yang over their failings as a parent and been subsequently driven to improve: Raven by Yang in Volume 5, and Qrow by Ruby in Volume 6. Which in turn leaves Summer and Taiyang, the supposed ‘good parents’ as the more ‘overt’ text of the show has led us to assume.
Of course, over the course of the last three volumes, we got more and more hints, before the ending of Volume 9 confirmed, that Summer Rose was not in fact the perfect ‘supermom’ that Ruby and Yang remember her as, having lied to and walked out on her family to go on mysterious mission with Raven from which she never returned.
And reading between the lines, Tai’s own problems as a father have been sitting right in front of us since Volume 2, only just beneath the surface as Yang and Ruby decline to really talk about them.
So with a story arc focused on exploring the truth about Summer Rose looking to be close on the horizon, a long-simmering confrontation between Yang and her father (one that could likely strongly parallel her confrontation with Raven) seems likewise inevitable.
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lovedbythelaw · 9 months
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Psycho Pass Providence — The Re-introduction of Kougami Shinya
Still working on a general review on Psycho Pass: Providence and also a Shinkane/KouAka post. But I had so many thoughts on Kougami after watching the movie twice that I had to document them while they were still fresh. This is a follow-up to a post I made about Kougami prior to watching PPP: some of my impressions did change while others stayed the same. It’s a lot so keep reading if you’re interested in what I thought about Kougami’s character in Providence. WARNING: Spoilers!!!
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I’ll begin with the scene in Dejima where Kougami and Saiga are drinking together. There’s one particular line that I felt could’ve been made smoother: Saiga says “the girl is neither a saint nor a bodhisattva, screw around too much and you’ll end up getting enforced. Apologize while you still have the chance Kougami. Take it from an old timer like me.” and he raises his glass with a smile. I watched both the subbed and the dubbed version and the line is very similar across both. I can’t help but think that line could’ve been improved slightly. Maybe it flows more naturally in Japanese so I can’t speak on that matter. But if I had the liberty of tweaking it even just a little, it would go as follows: “the girl in neither a saint nor a bodhisattva, screw around too much and you’ll end up losing her forever.”
And I don’t mean to necessarily press for him losing her as a love interest, but even just a trusted friend or at least a colleague who always had his best interest in mind.
Ultimately, not exploring the more emotional (and by extension—the romantic) aspects of Kougami’s character was a missed opportunity for Providence in my opinion. He’s the second main character in this installment and we got very little inward reflection from him this time around. The last 15 or so minutes of the film is what really impressed me with respect to his character. Seeing him exit the isolation facility, looking back, and then looking ahead, declaring “I swear, I’ll come back for you,”  with such ardor reminded me that he’s still a hero in this story, however unconventional he may be.
It was clear that Akane and Kougami’s relationship had to change in this installment. After 6 long years, they are both different people now and cannot go back to the same relationship dynamics as in Season 1. More on that in a different post. Consequently, the portrayal of these individual characters had to evolve in order to match this change. Initially, when I watched the promotional clips, I was put off by his bluntness—especially towards Akane. But there were instances where we saw the caring Kougami seep through. He smiles once in the film. And this is when Saiga tells him: “I don’t work with the PSB, I work with Akane Tsunemori.”  I don’t know if he smiles because he still finds it funny that Saiga is cooperating with the government or if he smiles at the mention of Akane’s name or even some matter of pride at how much Akane is respected by Professor Saiga. Either way, it was nice to see this moment.
The other less noticeable moments from Kougami were two times when he showed what I can interpret as a combination of grief and frustration. From my observations, his eyes were animated to have this glistening/“quivering” motion, similar to this gif, minus the actual tears — there were no tears in Kougami’s case:
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It’s very subtle but please let me know if anyone else also noticed this. The first time his eyes did this was when after Saiga died and he called Shion to consult Saiga’s psychological profile of Tonami along wirh Akira’s poem. Shion mentions how horrible it was — what happened to the professor. Kougami pauses and adds “Yeah”  but the tone is almost as if he had to force it out of himself. I couldn’t help but feel like he was holding it together for the investigation, but deep down was grieving the loss of his dear professor. After all, he told Akane to keep it bottled up until the end of the case. The second time I saw this effect of his eyes was while he was reading Akane’s letter in his isolation cell. He gets to the part where she writes about being glad to have seen him again and that he helped her find the answer. He calls her a bakayaro, and his hands grab the letter so fiercely that it kind-of crumples while he throws his whole body into a defeated hunch — since he’s stuck in his cell and can’t even do anything to stop her.
I had read some early accounts by Japanese viewers that he was crying while reading her letter: this effect in the eyes may have been what was mistaken as crying.
Although it was nice to see Kougami go through these moments in PPP, I can’t help but feel like there could have been more. However, Providence is a very dense film and I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt that with all the action sequences, Akane’s iconic scenes, and the supporting cast all getting their own memorable segments, Kougami’s development just wasn’t a priority. If Shiotani, Fukami, and Ubukata intend to make an SAD spin-off as they’ve expressed in interviews, I would hope that they explore possible romantic or other intimate human feelings on Kougami’s part — similar to how he learned to be a father figure to Tenzing. In fact, I would argue that after Providence, it’s likely that they’ve backed themselves into a corner with regards to Kougami’s interpersonal relationships. The tension between Kougami and Akane was essentially the secondary conflict of the film and it ended with some resolution midway but also a shift in Kougami’s disposition once he read Akane’s letter, realizing the impact he had on her life. If there’s further content on Kougami as a person, we almost certainly need to at least confront his relationship with Akane and even Ginoza (was somewhat addressed on the boat scene and we see them on good terms in Season 3/PPFI). The other route is just watching a 007-Misson Impossible Kougami getting into knife fights and performing crazy stunts, but I think the PP fandom in general agrees that this option would be dull and a waste of a character who had such an artful inception. Now I know that PP wants to go for a more shōnen look and are cautious of depicting romance between the main characters. It was pretty obvious with Arata being introduced as the new main character and the fact that Yuki Kaji was brought on board to voice him (he’s done fantastic work on many popular shōnen characters including Eren Jaeger). But, showing how love could affect Kougami and how him giving love could present new angles of his character would undoubtedly be exciting to see. We know he wants to protect people. We know that he’s decided to work outside of the law in order to do that. He’s made peace with his revenge and he’s learned that he wants to protect people without any reserve or obligation. Saiga warned him about potentially becoming a killing machine like Tonami if he keeps letting people use him as a hunting dog, and he agreed that he doesn’t want that. I expect that he could follow the same thought process as Ginoza did in SS Case 1 where he ultimately just wants to help people with his detective work, without much care for who’s judged to be good or evil. On this note, it would be beneficial for Kougami to understand his heart a bit more. Maybe visit his mother too? Maybe actually value his own life instead of running into a fight like he has nothing to lose? He’d already prepared Akane for his death way back between S1 and S2. Would he fight differently if Akane were expecting him to come back home alive?
Hope you enjoyed reading my thoughts on Kougami’s character. Still love our chaotic spikey-haired gun-slinging emo cowboy. And I’m looking forward to what the creators might do with his character next.
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Headcanons for @chantillymoon
This was really fun to do! I am currently up to episode 261 of One Piece (Water 7) so please keep that in mind while reading. Because I haven't officially met Brook yet, all of my headcanons are based on what I've read in fanfics and a bit of research so hopefully I'm not too far off.
Platonic headcanons on the rest of the Straw Hat crew can be found here!
Fandom: One Piece
Characters: Brook and Usopp x gn! Reader (separate and platonic)
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I see Brook as someone who’s always got a song stuck in his head. And he’s going to make it everyone’s problem. But is it really a problem when he actually has the voice for it? Yes. Yes, it is. Especially when you’re listening to him humming the same part of that one song for the tenth time that day.
At the same time, he’s great to have around if you’ve got a song stuck in your head. Brook knows so many songs that you’d be hard pressed finding one he couldn’t sing for you. And if he doesn’t know the song, he’s pretty good at picking up tunes quickly.
Have sore muscles? Those bony fingers are great for digging into twisted muscles and sore spots. Brook may have gone through a lot because of his Devil Fruit but he’s glad he can do something with it to help his friends.
He’s got a surprisingly good eye for fashion…if he had eyes! In all seriousness, please take him with you next time you need to go shopping for clothes. Between him and Nami, you’ll get back to the ship with a whole new wardrobe full of amazing clothes that suit you perfectly.
Whether you’re quiet or talkative, Brook loves just being in your presence. If you’re on the quiet side, he likes the tranquillity of sitting in companionable silence with someone. And if you’re talkative, he enjoys listening to everything you have to say.
Similarly, Brook’s great to talk to if you want to get anything off your chest. He’s a good listener and won’t spread around anything you’ve told him unless he thinks it could harm the crew (even then, he’d most likely keep it secret for a while). He also gives really good advice.
Brook missed out on a lot during his time in the Florian Triangle so he enjoys having a younger friend to help bring him up to speed. That being said, he’s an absolute menace with the way he mixes slag from his era with modern day sayings. Think something along the lines of “oh, they know their onions, they're no noob” and "ok you cad, time to catch these hands".
If you want to learn how to play an instrument or sing, Brook is more than happy to help. He’s had decades of practice and, even though he’s a bit rusty at explaining things to others, he’s patient and dedicated to teaching you.
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Everyone has that one artist friend. And Usopp definitely falls into that category. He’s constantly got a sketchbook with him and will draw anything and everything. If you’re also into art, you’ll definitely bond over that.
Will absolutely hid behind you in battle. Whether you’re taller than him or not, he feels comfortable enough around you to chose you as his hiding spot.
Makes up stories about your bravado and wild adventures as well. While the other straw hats might react badly to Usopp telling stories about them, even if they are meant to improve their reputation, he hopes you will react differently.
In the same manner, Usopp would love to practice his pre-battle speeches with you and get some feedback. He’s a theatre kid at heart but he needs someone he trusts to work on his lines with. As one of his closest friends (and someone hopefully less judgmental than Nami), you fit that description.
He is also the perfect person to tell you stories about the other straw hats, especially if you joined later. He’s an entertainer and, even if he exaggerates his role in events, you’re able to piece together their adventures to date.
Much like Brook, Usopp has a good eye for fashion, but more from the perspective of figuring out what colours and patterns go together. If you’re struggling to put together an outfit, he’s more than happy to give you his two cents worth.
Gossip buddies! If you like gossip or have a way of knowing things about people, you, Usopp, and Nami are the designated “gossip squad” of the straw hats. Usopp is always a good source of information, even if he tends to embellish sometimes.
If you have long hair and don’t feel like tying it up, Usopp should be your first port of call. Sure, Sanji’s amazing with styling hair but he’s usually busy in the kitchen and Nami and Robin usually wear theirs down. Usopp has the free time and skills to help you out. Fair warning though, he may get carried away by his creative tendencies.
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