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ssa-atlas-alvez · 1 year

Note

okay but. imagine cowboy!reader is actually very educated. pro-LGBTQ, pro-choice, BLM, acab. very big speaker and doesn't take shit. BUT everyone thinks he isn't gonna educated and such until they're on a case dealing with like a trans kid and he's the first one to step up and comfort the kid and such. man im in the rabbit hole.

Allergies (Not Really)

No no no no no but the way I've started one where something of this theme happens (I don't want to give too much away aha)

Word count: 3.6k

Warnings: transphobia, sad reader :( (i teared up a little ngl - it's not sad, he's just sad), guns, bullet wound, fighting, briefly mentions some murders to set the scene a bit, someone calls reader a redneck

Also I just want to say that the relationship between Mia and (Y/N) is completely platonic, maybe familial (a bit older brother-y or fatherly) not anything else. Just because I'm panicking because they spend a lot of time joking about and I wanna make that clear.

Taglist: @xweirdo101x @xdark-acadamiax

Your blood boils when you hear the case, an unsub has been targeting young families (parents and three kids all under the age of sixteen). The last family had a survivor, a twelve-year-old transgender girl named Mia, who was currently in the hospital being treated for a variety of injuries.

Your jaw clenches as you read the hospital report, whilst it wasn't too long (thankfully), you knew she would still have a lot to work through mentally.

"You alright over there, Eastwood?" Morgan asks.

"Just angers me, is all," You answer, not feeling the need to elaborate, feeling the source of your anger being fairly self-explanatory. You miss the concerned look Rossi and Hotch share.

A few hours later, the jet landed, once everyone was situated at the police station, you turned to the team.

"I'm gonna head to the hospital, make sure Mia's okay," You said.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Rossi’s the one that says it, but you can see everyone's thinking the same thing.

"Wha- Why wouldn't it be?... Oh I see," You say as the penny finally drops and it clicks, "Y'all think 'cause I'm from the South I'm against her bein' herself?" You sigh softly, rubbing the back of your neck, "Have I not proved myself yet?"

No one says anything for a moment, shocked by the hurt that flashes in your eyes, before they can, you pick your hat back up, settling it on your head, "I'm headin' to the hospital,” You mumble, leaving the room before anyone can say anything.

When you leave the room, you rub your eyes with the back of your hand. 'Not crying,' You try and convince yourself, 'allergies.' You trying to ignore the fact you know, 100%, that you don't have any allergies.

You get into one of the SUV's and begin making your way to the hospital, ignoring your phone as it lit up with various concerned messages.

The receptionist was a nice woman and was quick to show you to Mia's room (after staring at you hungrily for a few minutes). You gave a small knock before walking in.

"Are you here to tell me I'm too young to know myself as well?"

You furrow your eyebrows, "No, who told you that?"

"One of the nurses," She answers with a shrug.

"You know which one?"

"The guy with brown hair," She shrugs as she answers, "It's fine though, happens all the time."

"I personally don't think y'all are too young to realise who you are," You said with a shrug, "I think anyone who thinks that is trynna hide their bias by invalidatin' your identity."

Mia looks at you for a moment, "I like you." She states, "I thought you were going to be against it."

"I've been gettin' that a lot today, it would seem," You mumble before your head snaps to the door, relaxing when it's just JJ. "Anyway, I'm (Y/N), this is my colleague, Agent Jareau. Mia, you a'right if we ask you a few questions?"

"Sure,"

"Could you run us through what happened that night?"

"Mum and dad were cooking. We were all sitting at the table doing our homework, and someone knocked on the door." Mia began, "They asked me to open the door, and he grabbed me and put a gun to my head. He shot my dad, then-"

You gave her a small, encouraging smile, "You're doin' great,"

"Did you get a look at the person that did this?" JJ asked, when Mia nodded, she continued, "What did they look like?"

Your eyes widen in worry as the heart machine next to Mia picks up, as does her breathing. You pull yourself together and turn your attention to her, "Mia? Mia, hey," Your voice is soft as you kneel next to her, "You need to take some deep breaths for me sweetheart,"

"Can't-"

You nod at her, "Yes, yes you can," You encourage, "Deep breaths, in, one, two, three, four, five, and out. That was good, keep going,"

It takes a moment, but her breathing evens out and she appeared to be less anxious, "There we go," You grin, "Told ya,"

"Okay, Texas," Your jaw drops slightly, the joke catching you off guard.

"That's not fair, I can't even say anythin' back without bullin' a child,"

"Ha ha." She responds, you throw your hands up in the air, smiling when she laughs at you.

JJ rolls her eyes slightly at you with a small smile as the doctor walks in with a few nurses for a routine checkup. Your eyebrows furrow when you see a male nurse with brown hair. Your eyes flick to the name badge, 'Darren', assuming this is the same nurse, you make a mental note of his name.

"We'll be just outside, a'right?"

Her hand shoots out, clinging onto your sleeve, "No! Don't leave!" She looks at you slightly hesitantly, "Please?"

"Hey, hey, it's a'right, I'll stay here," You answer, eyes flicking down to her for a moment before turning to JJ.

"Hotch wants me to go with Morgan to the scene," JJ said, "You good here? I'll let him know,"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm good here and thanks," You give a small smile.

When the doctor and nurses left, you turned to Mia, "That nurse you mentioned earlier? The brown-haired one? Was he in the room just now?"

Mia nodded, "Yeah,"

"Had a name badge on, name Darren?" Mia nodded once more. "Alright, I'll be back in a moment,"

"Where are you going?"

"I just want a quick word with this Darren fella," You shrug, seeing the look on Mia's face you roll your eyes slightly, "Don't you worry your little head about it, I'm not gonna hurt him or anythin'."

"Okay..." She said.

"Is that a'right?"

Mia shrugged, "Sure." You nodded before exiting the room.

Furrowing your eyes when you came face to face with Rossi, "Howdy, I'm just popping out for a few," You said.

Rossi nodded, walking into the room after you had left. "I'm Agent Rossi," He said, "I work with (Y/N),"

"The cowboy?"

"Yeah, the cowboy," Rossi huffs a small laugh as he sits in his seat. "Have the staff here been treating you okay?"

Mia shrugs, "Yeah," She answers, "There was one nurse but I think Texas has gone to sort him out or something. He might beat him up."

Rossi smiles slightly, "Texas?"

"Yeah, the cowboy," She said, "I think he's frustrated that everyone keeps assuming he's going to be against me being trans... I'd be frustrated too, I think," She added after a moment's thought.

You leave Mia, now feeling slightly better that Rossi will be there whilst you're gone. Spotting your target, you speed up.

"Excuse me! Nurse?" The man turns towards you, Darren. "I just wanted to have a word with you about Mia?"

You watch as Darren shifts uncomfortably. "Yes?"

"I just wanted to say that perhaps telling someone they're too young to understand 'emselves probably doesn't make 'em feel a whole lotta good about 'emselves."

Darren looks you up and down slightly as he takes a few steps towards you. "And what exactly do you know?" He scoffs, "I'm surprised a redneck such as yourself can read and write."

"That's some nice deflection there," You said sarcastically, trying not to let it show how much the stereotypes flung into your face hurt. "Just... don't be a dick. If you don't understand somethin', look it up. I'm sure you can read. So perhaps do your research before you project onto a twelve year old girl." With that, you give a forced smile before turning on your heels and head back to Mia's room.

"Welp, that outta have done it," You give a lopsided grin, "A'right Rossi?"

"I'm fine Kid, you okay?"

"Yes sir," You answered, "I might grab myself a drink, y'all want anything?"

Mia laughs, "Y'all?"

"Rossi, Imma need your assistance, I'm getting bullied by a twelve year old,"

"Sorry, Kiddo, can't help you there." He chuckled, "I will ask that you grab me a coffee though."

"Coming right up!"

Hours later, she's sat up on the bed whilst you're sat on a chair (a rather uncomfortable one) next to the bed, Rossi having left an hour ago, both of your gazes focused on a small, empty glass bottle that stood on the overbed tables. Each armed with a small piece of string as a makeshift lasso.

"You're not a very good cowboy, are you?" Mia observes as you miss once more.

"Hey, I haven't done this in a while,"

"How longs a while? Never?" She asked, throwing the lasso perfectly once more.

"I'll have you know its been, okay so it's been like ten years, a'right? You were two last time I had to lasso something,"

"Wow, you're old."

"I had no idea twelve year olds were so mean, you're about to make a grown man cry,"

Mia gave a laugh, you quickly joining in. You flung the lasso half-heartedly, eyes widening as it hit its target perfectly. "Yeehaw!"

"Yeehaw? Seriously? You're so lame." You jaw dropped once more. You both jumped as gunshots echoed throughout the hospital, you sat up straight, immediately turning to Mia.

"Mia, I need you to take this," You handed your phone over to her, "The pass code is 1999, okay? You need to phone Hotch. Lock the door behind me, go into the bathroom and lock that door too, okay?"

Mia looked up at you with wide, scared eyes, "Are you gonna be okay?"

"I'm gonna be absolutely fine, a'right?" When she nodded, you gave her a smile, "Don't open this door until I tell you to, or Hotch phones and says to okay?"

You shut the door, not moving until you heard it lock in place. When you heard the soft click, you nodded to yourself as you began to make your way towards sound.

Seeing a nurse, you jogged up to her, "Ma'am, try and get everyone into their rooms, tell them not to come out, okay?" The nurse nods and runs off. You continue cautiously towards the sound of gunshots, revolver clutched in your hands.

When you find him, he's holding a person close to his chest, what with that and the people running past you, you don't have a clear shot. You meeting eyes with the wide yes of the hostage against his chest, you look at her, giving a small nod as you inch closer.

When the moment's right, she ducks her head, pulls her elbow back, before slamming it into the guy's ribs. As he curls over, she wiggles out of her grasp, joining the others in fleeing. With a sigh, you brace yourself before charging at the man, tackling him to the floor.

It takes a moment for the unsub to recover, in that time you've delivered a few blows to his face, both of your guns falling during the tackle. He's quick to flip you over, he aims for the torso first, delivering a handful of well-aimed punches. Next, he takes a fist of your hair, slamming your head into the floor. Once, twice, three times before you get the momentum needed to push him off you.

You staggered up, paying no mind to the pain in your head throbbing in beat with your pulse, the blood on the side of you head that's slowly dripping into your eye, or the ache that's spread through your abdomen. You had to either distract this guy until the team got here or knock him out. Either way, you weren't about to let yourself pass out and let this bastard hurt Mia.

As you're breathing deeply through the pain, the unsub has stood, he (however) is not as chivalrous, so he takes the moment make his way over to you. He grabs your shoulders as he pulls his knee to your groin, pushing you to the floor as you double over in pain. Happy with having the advantage, he continues to aim cheap blows to your sides.

Despite this, you stumble up once more, you keeping your left arm wrapped close to your ribs on your right. They were definitely bruised as a minimum. You duck the punch sent your way, wincing slightly as it pulls on your arm and ribs. Both of your eyes lock on the gun at the same time as the pair of you dive for it. He reaches it first, gripping it tightly in his hands as you immediately go for it, to loosen his grip, anything you can think of.

There's a bang and you grunt as a bullet enters the top of your left arm, adding insult to injury. Okay, so disarming him didn't really work.

"FBI!" You sigh in relief as the unsub is pulled away from you, letting your head fall against the cold floor with your eyes closed - trying to get a grip on the pain. You listen as they cuff the bastard before dragging him out of the hospital. You let your eyes flutter open as you begin to push yourself off of the floor.

"I'm fine," You mumbled, shrugging Hotch's hands off you, "I'm fine, check on Mia."

"Morgan, stay with (Y/N)."

When Hotch is gone, you turn to Morgan, "I'm fine, go help Hotch."

"Sorry, got my order," Morgan said with a shrug. You don't answer, as much as you don't want to admit it, the pain was really starting you affect your headspace. You felt like you couldn't think. "Come on, let's get you checked out."

You shook your head, "No, I need to check on Mia first," You mumbled, giving a low groan as you pushed yourself up.

"Alright, lead the way," Morgan said. You don't answer, simply forcing one foot in front of the other until you're back at Mia's room.

"Is he okay?!" You hear Mia's question through the door.

"He's okay," You hear Hotch reassuring her.

"Then where is he?! He said he'd be here as soon as he could!" Mia's panic causes your eyebrows to furrow, "Oh god, he's dead, isn't he?"

You push the door open, trying to look as put together as possible for Mia, not wanting her to panic. "I'm very much alive, thank you very much," You say.

"I thought he killed you!" She exclaims, rushing towards you. You groan when Mia flings her arms around you, burying her head in your chest and she immediately steps back, seeing the blood her eyes widen. "Holy shit he shot you?!"

"Hey, language,"

"Sorry Texas," She grins, and you roll your eyes.

"Texas?" Morgan grins, "Oh, that is so sticking around,"

You groan slightly, "Seriously?"

"Seriously."

You turn to Mia, "Thanks kid," You say sarcastically.

"No problem, old man." Your jaw drops once more.

"I don't know if my ego can take all these insults,"

"I don't know what y'all are talkin' about I would never do such a thing to y'all," She says, trying her best to do an impersonation, giggling slightly at the look of disbelief on your face.

"That- Now that was just a bridge too far-" You barely get the sentence out before you're huffing a laugh (and then wincing because of said laugh).

"Alright, come on, Texas," Derek smirks, placing a hand on your shoulder, "Let's go get you checked out."

You weren’t too injured (thankfully), minus the bullet wound, it was mostly just bruises. Eventually, you were all stitched up and laid in a hospital bed - which you hated, but Hotch had glared at you when you went to protest.

A soft knock echoed through the door before it opened, a blonde woman poking her head round. You frowned slightly, not recognising her.

"Hi, I'm Mia's aunt," The woman says and you straighten up (ignoring the discomfort).

"Ma'am," You said with a nod.

"I just wanted to say thank you,"

"What for?" You furrowed your eyebrows as she raised hers, motioning to your current state. "Ma'am I was just doing my job."

"Well, either way, thank you."

You give a small smile, "No worries, Ma'am."

“I’m going to be her guardian now that-” Mia’s aunt paused, taking a deep breath to compose herself before she continued, “After everything and I really appreciate what you did for her.”

You give her a small smile, “Of course, Ma’am.”

She gives you one last smile as she leaves the room, “Oh, agent?” You look at her, “Is it alright if I bring Mia in? We’re about to head off and she wanted to say goodbye.”

You nod, “Yeah, yeah, of course,”

When the door closes, you push yourself the best you can, the door opens a few minutes later and Mia walks in.

“How y’all healin’?”

“First, I wouldn’t say y’all if it’s just one person,” You said, rolling your eyes, “Second, I’m doin’ a’right,”

“You missed like seven letters in that sentence,” She laughs, you huff a small laugh, forcing a wince down.

“It’s an art form,” You reply. "Your aunt seems nice,"

“She is, I’m going to live with her,” Mia says, smiling, “She lives in California. I can’t wait, apparently my uncle’s been getting a room ready for me,”

“That’s great,” You smiled. "How are you feeling in yourself?"

"I'm okay," Mia said with a shrug, "I know it's going to be a while until I'm back to one hundred percent, but I'm willing to put in the work."

"Smart kid," You said, "You'll be okay."

"Oh, Aunty Meg you should have been there earlier! Texas was all like 'how are y'all doin'?' And he made lassos but he was absolutely useless with one and the last time he used one was when I was two and…"

Mia's voice faded as you looked at the hat on the table for a moment, lightly taking it in your own hands, brushing over the material lightly with the pad of your thumb. It was one of your favourite hats. You looked up, seeing the grin on Mia's face as she did her best cowboy impressions, you smiled. "Hey, I think you'll find, every southerner - impersonator or not - needs their very own hat," You said, reaching over to place it on her head. "Perfect, a true southerner!"

"Well I'll be damned!" Mia exclaimed, tilting the hat slightly.

"Come on, we need to make a move," Mia's aunt said. "I think Uncle Jack's getting restless waiting for us,"

Mia nodded, reaching up and taking the hat off before handing it over to you. You shook your head.

"Nah, you keep it kiddo, I've got hundreds." You give her a smile.

Mia walked forward, clinging onto you as she buried her head in your chest, you ignored the dull ache that flared up in your chest as you hugged her back, "I'm gonna miss you."

"I'll miss you too, kiddo," You say, lifting one hand to wipe at your eyes.

"Are you crying?" Mia asked softly.

"No." You answered, "I've got allergies."

You wait for Mia to let go before you do, you gave her a small smile, "See you later, a'right?" She nodded, quickly wiping her eyes.

"See you later Texas,"

The door shut quietly behind the two of them and you were enveloped once more in silence.

Whilst everyone was wrapping up the case, you were sitting in a hospital bed, bored out of your skull. With a sigh, you pushed yourself up, sneaking past the nurses and doctors as you made your way outside, wanting some fresh air.

You sat yourself down opposite the hospital in the grass, letting yourself pluck a blade of grass from the ground, running it through your fingers as you lost yourself in your thoughts.

You kept your eyes trained on the grass as Hotch sat down next to you. The pair of you sitting in silence for a moment. “Are you alright?”

“‘M fine, sir,” The answer rolls off your tongue. “Nothing to worry about,”

“If you want to get something off your chest, you can always talk to me,”

“I know, Hotch,” You said, “I just… struggle with the whole talkin’ about how you’re feelin’,”

Hotch nods in understanding, for someone who doesn’t talk about it, you sure do end up giving a lot away. You both sit in silence.

"I know people think I'm stupid," You mumble, staring intently at the blade of grass between your fingers as you spoke, "I know I have that Southern drawl," You exaggerate your accent slightly before continuing, "That I don't exactly talk like y'all. I know some just see me as some redneck, but I can hold my own. I ain't stupid. And I certainly ain't no bigot."

"I know, we all know that." Hotch replies.

"But you didn't." You pointed out before sighing, "Whatever, it doesn't matter..."

"We were concerned because there was no way could have known."

"You could've just trusted me," You said, “I have, in no way, given any of y’all a reason to believe that I am against anyone in that community. And I get it, I do, it just… stings, is all.”

Hotch doesn’t speak, unsure of what to actually say. Because he did jump to conclusions, they all did.

"I think if she didn't have any family I would have adopted her, or at least tried to, anway," Your eyebrows are furrowed, gaze deepening at the blade of grass as you tore it apart in your hands. "But, hey, she's happy, that's the main thing and her aunt seems like a lovely woman."

With that, you push yourself off of the grass, ignoring the ache that shoots through your body. Leaving Hotch sat on the curb with a frown as you limped back into the hospital for one final check-up before your flight.

You wipe your eyes with the back of your hand, “Fuckin’ allergies.”

#cowboy reader #x male reader #x reader #reader #male reader #criminal minds x male reader #criminal minds x reader #emily prentiss #jennifer jareau #aaron hotchner #spencer reid #derek morgan #david rossi #bau x male reader #bau x reader #bau x cowboy reader #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds

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cherrycola27 · 1 year

Text

The Comeback Kid

Summary: Jake never expected the one he got away to come back to him. He also never expected the reason why.

Pairing: Hangman x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of mental abuse, intimation. Abortion. Illness. Allusions to smut. Minors DNI 18+

...........................................

At twenty-one years old, Jake Seresin seemed to have it all. He was the starting quarterback for the UT Longhorns, president of his fraternity, on the Dean's list, and had guaranteed acceptance to the US Navy flight school program after graduation. To top it off, he had the most beautiful and amazing girlfriend. He had you.

Yes, life was good for Jake. Up until about six weeks after the Longhorns won the national championship. You disappeared from his life.

You stopped answering his calls. You had dropped out of school. You had moved out of your apartment. To make matters worse, your parents wouldn't tell him anything.

You had vanished without a trace.

Jake was forced to move on. To let you become a phantom, a skeleton in his closet. The one that got away.

It would be a full decade later before you crossed paths with him again in a sea-side, San Diego bar.

When he first laid eyes on you, he thought you were a ghost, and maybe you were.

You and the sins of his past had come back to haunt him.

At first, he thought he was seeing things. What were the odds that the girl he'd never gotten over had just happened to waltz into his favorite hangout?

He took a few steps closer, weaving through the crowd. The closer he got, there was no denying that green-eyed, dark auburn haired beauty in front of him was you.

Your eyes were scanning the room—looking for someone. Jake hoped that if might be him, but he didn't let himself get to attached to the idea. It had been ten years since he'd seen you.

Your eyes met his, and you moved through the crowd quickly and with purpose.

"Jake." You stated once you met him.

"Hi, Sweetheart." He greeted you. "Long time no see." His voice was still as smooth as honey. Even after a decade, he could make your knees weak.

"Jake, I'm not here to flirt. I have something important to talk to you about. Is there somewhere more—private we could go?" You asked him. You looked around the room and noticed some people watching the two of you.

Jake could tell you were serious. He'd always been so good at reading you. "Follow me." He said. He gently placed his hand on the small of your back and guided you out the rear doors of the bar and down to the sand.

His heart was racing. You'd come here looking for him. Maybe, just maybe, you'd missed him just as much as he had missed you. As soon as the two of you were alone, he was going to tell you everything he'd been holding back.

The two of you stopped at the edge of the water. He turned to you and smiled before opening his mouth.

"Sweetheart, you look amazing. I've —I've missed you. Why—why did you leave me? Why did you cut me off? I tried to find you but your parents wouldn't tell me how to get in touch with you." Jake babbled out the moment the two of you are alone. You could hear the hurt in his voice

You're taken aback by his words. You didn't know he felt this way. But how could you?

"I—I didn't leave by choice, Jake." You tell him.

"Wha—what do you mean?" He looks at you confused.

"You father—he told me I had to leave you alone." You say, dropping your eyes.

"What do you mean?" From the way he was reacting, you knew he had no idea about the threats that George Seresin had made against you all those years ago.

"Do you remember the night you won the national championship?" You ask him.

"Of course I do, Sweetheart." Jake replies.

"Do you remember what we did that night?" You continue.

Jake remembered that night fondly. He'd taken you back to his hotel room, and the two of you celebrated his victory tangled up in his sheets.

"Yes." He paused. You can see the gears turning in his brain, but all the dots aren't connecting.

"Well, the next day, I realized I hadn't taken my birth control. I didn't think anything of it until six weeks later." You say.

"Oh my god." He breathes out just as the gears clicked into place.

"You were pregnant." He states.

"Yeah." You admit. "I was afraid to tell you, and when I talked to my parents, they met with yours. Your father said that a baby would ruin your future. He gave my family ten thousand dollars for me drop out, have an abortion, and never speak to you again." You confess. Your voice is heavy with tears.

"So that's why you left? I thought I did something to make you hate me. I thought you didn't love me." Jake's voice cracks.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that alone. That shouldn't have been my father's choice. I would have been there for you. For the baby. We could have been a family!" Jake shouts. He isn't mad at you, you know that. He's mad at what was taken away from him.

He runs his hands through his hair as he paces back and forth across the sand. You've just dropped the first bomb of the evening on him, and his having a hard time processing. You can see the tears glossing over his eyes

"I didn't get the abortion." You tell him. His head snaps up to look at you.

"You didn't?" He asks, voice barely above a whisper.

My parents and I moved to the east coast, and I had the baby. A boy. His name is DJ." You tell him.

"A boy? A son? I have a son?" Jake can't stop the tears now as he chokes on the words.

"He's nine, and he looks just like you, Jake." You tell him. He's silent for a moment, trying to process everything.

"Can I see a picture?" He asks. He's afraid you'll say no, but you don't. You pull out the phone and show him picture after picture of DJ.

"He's—He's amazing. Can I—why are you just telling me this now?" Jake asks. It's been years since DJ was born, and he wants to know why all of a sudden you've come back.

"DJ, he—he's sick." You are trying not to cry again. Jake's face drops.

There it is. The other life altering news you have for him. Not only does he have a child, but he also has a child who's dying.

"What—what do you mean?" You hear the worry in his tone.

"He has leukemia. He needs a bone marrow transplant. I'm not a match, and neither are my parents." You tell him.

"I came here to find you to ask you to get tested to see if you were a match. I wouldn't ask you if I had any other options. Please, Jake. I can't lose my little boy." You couldn't fight the tears any longer. They stream down your face as you beg him for forgiveness. To not let his resentment of you leaving him be the reason he won't help you.

He doesn't say anything. Wordlessly, he pulls you close, tucking you under his chin like he always did.

You buried your face in his chest and sobbed.

"I'll do anything you need." He whispers as he presses a kiss to your hairline.

He stood there slightly, taking it all in.

His father had paid you to disappear.

You'd had his child. He was a father. He had a son.

His son was sick. You needed his help. How could he deny you?

Jake took a deep breath. The idea of fatherhood had never crossed his mind, but now that it was right here in front of him, he knew there was nothing he wouldn't do to help his son.

I hope you guys enjoy this first chapter! As always, likes are great, but comments and reblogs are golden!

Tag List: @pisupsala @shanimallina87 @luckyladycreator2 @mak-32 @katieshook02 @samhapner6 @rosiahills22 @roosterscock @roosterforme @hecate-steps-on-me @withahappyrefrain @arson-tm @sebsxphia @potato-girl99981 @caitsymichelle13 @lillyrosenight @callsign-hummingbird @inky-sun @writeroutoftime @afterglowsb-tch13 @heyoimjordy @phoenixssugarbaby @hypatia93 @bradshawseresinbabe @je-suis-prest-rachel @teacupsandtopgun @boringusername3 @starlightstories @daggerspare-standingby @utterlyhopeful-fics @talkfastromance4 @fighterpilothoe @t-nd-rfoot @phoenix1388 @abaker74 @gigisimsonmars @emorychase @wannabeschyulersister @greatszu @shawnsblue @tributetomrsniffles @tv-fanatic18 @angelbabyange @sadpetalsstuff @softmullet @cowboybarbie @shewritesfiction13 @sweetlittlegingy

Special shout out to @thedroneranger for helping me with this!

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heartidylla · 1 year

Text

don’t think, just feel

javier peña x f!reader

summary : you have a rocky relationship with your dad and even more so men. your childhood person, javier peña, wants nothing more than to show you your true worth.

quote : “oh cariño, i’ve always been yours, with or without the title.”

warnings : smut! , daddy issues , difficult topics , mention of physical and mental abuse

speaking color coding

“” — javier

“” — you

“” — others

"you’re such a smart mouth!" the seventeen year old's father yelled at you with such distaste in his tone that it took the trembling little girl back into a time where you were just beginning your lifelong journey of trying to heal from your father's parental mistakes that left severe wounds which you tried to treat with a medicine that wouldn't ever achieve the goal of full recovery.

you took a deep breath, an ache forming in your chest that made you feel like you were drowning in your own melancholy due to your fathers words which stabbed deep into your heart without any remorse. you turned your back to him and walked into your room, enclosing yourself within it as your back touches the door and it slowly rubs against it as you slide down to collapse onto the floor with the palm of your hands on your face. there was some money which were scrambled on the ground, left untouched by your father .. shockingly.

you needed to get away. the burden within your chest only growing more heavy the longer you stayed under his roof. after giving yourself the quickest second to come up with your decision, you lifted yourself off the ground and took out the box full of money which you rightfully earned from underneath your bed. you stashed the cash in a backpack that was beside it along with the essentials.

javier peña, your childhood ... person, was seventeen. he has been in your life since your birth and the passing of your mother. he and his father have been your only supporters since. he gave everything of himself that he could hand you, and you knew that.

you were both raised by the same person, chucho, his father. his mother died when he was younger, and it was a loss which both of you had to grieve together with. she was just as much of a mother to him as she was to you. whenever she looked at you, you could see something within those eyes which made you feel safe. you didn't know it then, but it was the same maternal love you craved for from your dad.

he never was a good parent to you. he wasn't emotionally there. he never tried to connect with you on that level, and spat out cruel words without ever apologizing for the affects that they had on you. you didn't understand why though. he never talked about him or his childhood, so you were sure he must've been affected by the same treatment somewhere. as much as you loathed him, a part of you would always crave for that kind of father-daughter relationship that you always observed in movies. the same movies which constantly brought you to tears due to the cruel reminder of how much your father hates you in order to treat you so horribly.

lost in thought, the ringing of your phone pulls you out of your dazed state. you push the phone up against your ear, and await the other person on the end of it to speak. "hi, this is your landlord speaking." the women's voice was so highly pitched that it sounded like she was faking it to sound sweeter. you had rented out a small apartment across town which you would fall back upon whenever you and your father had disputes with one another such as tonight.

you hummed in response, awaiting her next words. "i'm sorry to inform you, but since you aren't in the apartment consistently you are being kicked out." she informed you, her nice tone was such a contrast difference from the news she was bestowing upon you.

in the moment, your mouth was agape as the words she spoke soaked into your mind. "but... i was on time with all of my payments?" your voice came out weaker than you'd like to admit. you were responsible for what bills you had to pay. you had a decent job and we're still in college, so you didn't have much to worry about in that department. only studies and a few bills every here and there.

"i'm sorry to inform you on such short notice." she didn't even try to explain the reason. she seemed as if she just wanted you gone, even if you hadn't done anything but breathe around her.

in a fit of anger, you click the end button and throw your phone on the bed. you watch as it hits the mattress and slightly bounces upwards, and then falling back down once more. you sunk back down on the floor, sulking in the amount of disappointment and frustration you rightfully felt. then, almost on cue, your eyes lay on a photo of you and javier who were smiling brightly with one another.

you were on his shoulders within the pool lifting your hands up in the air getting ready for a rematch of a classic game of chicken. a confident aura spread around you both which could be seen even through the polaroid.

he had always wanted to be with you, and only you. however, he knew everything that weren't horribly at home. he knew how much it affected you. how you craved softness but attracted rough edges which would always scrape you in the most painful parts of your self.

he and you had multiple fights because of that alone. you would be sitting down at their homes table and you're head would be locked onto the sight of the ground as he stuttered out thousands of questions that were lodged within his head about the reasons on why you are the way that you are. why do you fall for rough edges? why do you push away kindness? why are you .. you?

you'd just stay silent, unable to answer any of his questions. you didn't understand how someone could want to figure out who you were, and why that is. hell, you didn't even want to. you were terrified on the single idea that you'd come across fatal information that would describe you perfectly but then destroy every ounce of you. you were protecting your heart in the only way you knew how to. you were projecting yourself out to others as you had been taught — as you desperately needed to be seen as. you never saw anything they did as such horrible things to associate them as bad people; to you, they were only people who did bad things. people that were able to change if they tried to, and you just wanted to be worth enough for them to try.

at some point, he left you in the kitchen alone and as he stormed out of it his father grabbed onto him and pulled him in an empty room. "what do you think you're doing?" he sternly asked his son as he pushed him down onto the guest rooms bed.

javier grumbled our curses underneath his breath. he was fuming, but he wasn't certain on if that was a valid reaction or not. "what do you mean?" he questioned his father while crossing his arms.

"you're unrightfully yelling at that poor girl." chucho says, pointing towards the door which would lead to you.

"she's unbelievable! you should know who she dates — how she is treated by those people!" he tries to explain his reaction in order to justify such an outburst on his end. he wouldn't ever forget the time where you had come over to his house and he'd see bruises on your soft skin that were caused by someone else's hands. he was certain he was going to jail for first degree murder that night if you hadn't restrained him and begged him not to.

"son, that is none of your business." he told him in a calmer tone. he's always been calmer than those two kids, obviously because he had been on this planet longer than they have. he understood more about them than they knew about themselves.

"it's not fair..." he weakly voices out. he didn't understand how someone so kind .. so beautifully written could ever be attracted to someone who sucked all that sweetness out of them. who forced them to become a dull person who was codependent on their selfishness solely. whenever you were in a relationship, to him it was like seeing a ghost of who you used to be. you weren't ever smiling as you should be — as you used to do whenever you were with him. hell, you didn't even hangout with him because your partners were so insecure that they'd cut off all your connections. he looked up to his father with watery eyes, one's that haven't been this close to crying in a long time. "why .. why does she always choose the wrong people to date?" he asks the void that fills the room.

chucho sighed before he walked over to the bed which javier sat on and placed himself next to his son. they both were looking at the ground at this point, and churro honestly needed some time to think of an answer. "we .. we accept the love we believe we deserve." he tells him, patting his back in a supporting way. "you know better than anyone else what environment she is raised within." he reminded him of her past, present, and future. her father, and what exactly he does to her mental state. how he images how she should be treated and why she deserved to suffer so terribly.

he looked over to his father with a helpless gaze. one hand fiddling with the other. "do you think i can make her know she deserves better?”

"you can try."

and he did. he tried with every ounce of his body to make you see you deserved something extraordinarily beautiful.

you both have pinned one another since you first saw each other as kids, and recently it had finally developed into something even more special that you hold closely to your heart after so long of waiting.

you'd sleep over at his house constantly, and he'd always get a warmth within his chest when he woke up beside you as you were laying in his t-shirt that looked like a wet dream of his that only ever consisted of you and your socks at the end of his bed.

just the sight alone would make all the blood from his flushed cheeks run southwards, and that'd happen every time he woke up like this. it was like you were an addiction that he would never seek treatment within. he'd always need you in his life, and wouldn't in his lifetime ever try to force you out of it.

when life got hard on both ends and you succumbed to the idea of being separated for some time, but still held immense feelings for one another.

it just .. wasn't the right time for you both to thrive in that environment together. one of the other would be drowning in the others abyss, and it was just too much of a difficult task for either of you to handle.

on your eighteen birthday, you both impulsively decided to get tattoos of one another's names. somehow in your own little way, it was to prove to the other that you would always follow up on all the promises that you made to each other. ones that would make or break the other; impact them for a lifetime.

as you both sat in those seats beside one another, you both held tightly onto the others hands; staring at the another as you were getting marked by the other for eternity. there was something shyly intimate about it. obviously apart from him forever claiming him as yours and visa versa. as you stared into his coffee-tinted eyes, all you could see was yourself within him. it made you feel like you're everything he could see, that nobody else in this world mattered to him but you.

for someone who always felt like they were invisible within their own home, you were absolutely faded into all of him for even giving you the impression of such a bizarre thought being a reality for you. his lips curved into a small smile as his thumb brushed against your soft skin, leaving a trail of flames that splattered across every corner of his touch.

after that day, he was calling you much more than he had prior to the tattoo appointment.

you beamed when you picked up the phone and saw his name plastered on your screen. you clicked the answer button, and pressed it against your ear before whispering out a shaky and uncertain, "hello?"

"hi.." his low and husky voice greeted you back, and it seemed almost as if he was anxious as well. he was always much better at keeping his composure around you, even if he was just as awkward.

"is there something you need?" you question him as you walked around in an oval, something you tend to do when you're nervous. you trapped your bottom lip between your teeth and bit down on it an anticipation of his response until you felt a metal taste feeding into your tastebuds.

"yeah .. do you think you could come over?" he quietly asked you in a hushed voice, as if his hands were occupying another need of his. you could almost hear his rapid heartbeat and shaky breaths from the phone line.

"give me five." you instantly reply, ending the phone call and getting ready as soon as you possibly could.

the moment you showed up at his house, you instantly crawled through his window. the route you'd typically go through whenever he needed you, and there wasn't any time for you to go through the front. the window was open, and you could see the framing of his back from beside it.

you leaned against the window frame from outside with your arms placed on the bottom of it and head rested on top of them, "hey." you greeted, smilingly up at him with those round eyes that always made him feel like he was the only man on earth you'd ever look at with such affection.

it always sent butterflies swarming within him, but he'd never admit how much he was swooning over just a simple gaze. "hey." he greeted back, walking over and helping you through. his hands snake around your waist to ensure your safety more than what was truly necessary. however, you didn't complain. you loved the idea that he overthought the bare minimum for you, and only you.

"so, what did you need?" you breathlessly questioned while raising a curious eyebrow, turning your head to catch a glimpse of his face which was placed within your messy hair. he was engulfing your scent as if it was his air, like he needed it to enter his lungs in order to breathe.

he was getting completely drunk on you, just by that alone. his hands still snaked around your waist as if you were going to disappear from his grasp at any minute. you'd hate to admit it, but the blood rushed into your cheeks by the sight of him basking in you faster than lighting.

it takes him a moment, and the second he pulled you closer into him you could already come up with what he wanted as you felt his arousal press up against your backside. a shiver flowed through your entire body, wetting the past dry state of your panties. "you." he replied through quick breaths due to his burning desire for you. his thick fingertips drag across your stomach line, digging into your skin which forced you to gasp in pleasure.

ever since he saw you at that tattoo office, his signature getting permanently pierced into your skin. it sent aflame every fiber that he's been trying to pull back from; the parts of him that desired — needed you to function. he couldn't wait for either of you to be in the perfect state of mind and position to get you back. he simply wouldn't wait any longer, and by you dropping everything to arrive at his house, he was pretty certain you held the same thoughts.

you slowly turn your entire body towards him, never leaving his grasp .. just shifting within it. the moment your eyes met his, you couldn't help but drown yourself within those beautiful chocolate eyes that held the same warmth within for you in them as you first witnessed years and years ago. your hands wrap around his neck, and he pushes you closer to him to the point where your bodies are mended together. every body part is reflecting off of the others touch, all but your faces.

you both just stared at one another, basking in the others gaze like it would be the last time you'd ever be like this which was completely untrue. for the past few years, there has always been this unspoken lust that you shared together and now it was just dying to be addressed.

you watch as his tongue wets his lips, his looks alone are completely devouring you. you couldn't help but letting out a breathless giggle before moving your face closer to his. it was excruciatingly slow, as you attended it to be. it got to the point where he was way too starved to wait any longer and leaned forward as well. there must've been a solid second of your breaths mixing before he crashed his lips onto yours in the most ravenous way you thought was possible.

you let out a noise of only pleasure which vibrated against his lips as you molded yourself into him. you matched whatever energy he was putting out for you to devour yourself. you were devoting every bit of yourself into his needs, whatever he wanted from you .. you were more than willing to give up the relief and pleasure he believed only you could assist him with. it was obvious over the phone that his hand wasn't cut out for such drastic cravings, and that alone made a different and newly emotion begin to light itself within your body.

you began to backtrack to his bed, knowing the layout of his room way better than you knew your own. the moment your hamstrings hit the bedding, you slowly drift down onto it, him following you all the way down.

as he ghosted your body, one of his hands laid beside your head that rested on his covers as the other freely roamed your curves. the soft sounds of rapture between you filled the room, and you made sure that they stayed only in this faithful room.

he pulled away for a second to catch his breath. due to the close proximity between you both, his lungs were beginning to fill up with your shared breaths which shockingly turned him on even more. the fact that you, as violent as a waterfall, flooded into his heart that now seems to only beat for you and just like the stream at the end of a waterfall, you're spreading into his other organs, completely taking his entire self over.

he looked down at you, lips seemingly swollen due to solely his attention on them. the lustful expression and half-lidded eyes as your chest rose and fell at an immaculate rate, each breath becoming more intense and filled with a whiny sense of wanting more for him — for him! every thought that consistent in that pretty little mind of yours were filled with only the best benefits for him instead of yourself, like you're only goal was to pleasure him, but waiting for his signal to continue. your cheeks were flushed with red, which he could even make out from the dimness that surrounded his room.

he gently leaned down and placed his forehead onto yours, closing his eyes for a moment to recollect himself from wanting to absorb every bit of you — especially the parts which were killing him with temptation by calling out to him. he chuckled softly, not believing that he truly had you in his bed right now and as he looked down at you, a smirk on his face as his thumb was softly caressed your cheek.

you hummed in delight of his gentle touch. it was nothing like you've ever experienced before. nobody has ever been this soft, or had their simple touch sent flames bursting at the surface. it was electric, something that had formed due to time of truly getting to know the other on an emotional level and the countless amount of effort you both put into the other.

"mi amor, we don't have to do this." javier's defined accent stated in a low voice level as his controlled breaths shape out your face. he was putting his needs aside in order to make sure you're comfortable with everything happening right now. he's realized that neither of you are in a defined relationship, and he's terrified that after this you'll leave. as if you'll run like you always do whenever you get close to a man who shows interest in you, whether that's good or bad attention that you're receiving, like all your previous situationships.

you've done it before to him, and he's well aware that you didn't want to. it's just .. how you coped in the location you were succumbed to being held captive in. you never knew if it was possible for someone to like you — even more so love you, so whenever someone showed that kind of interest it always scared you off. you didn't want to get hurt because you were so easily engulfed within praise and gratitude for your presence beside them, and that alone was completely unrealistic in your mind. how could any man want you if your own father seemingly hated you with his entire being?

you didn't know.

you ran a marathon to avoid any injury to your heart, ones that were so blind sighted to real admiration for you. ones that gave into the wrong kind of affection, and then pushed out the right. javier, he was the right kind. the right person for you. he knew you like the back of his hand. he knew every bit of everything you went through. his mind wrapped around your past as if it was an exceptional oath that defined who you two were and how you grew together.

ivy that grows between you two and forces you together, and you willingly let it. heart rate at it's very peak every second that the two of you mold into each other, bodies colliding together perfectly as if the two of you were destiny in every universe. the ivy that now surrounds you, forever mending your fate together like a golden invisible string connected to the other on your pinkies that shined through every life, every difficult moment, every death, everything .. it survived.

you cup his cheeks, giving him the most lighthearted gaze he's ever seen you have. it was almost unreal, like you couldn't possibly ever hold such softness directed at him — not with how you were raised. he automatically felt himself mush into your skin, letting himself go and resting in your hands. he soaked up every bit of how your hands held him like he was oasis water, precious to the world and you had gotten your hands on something extraordinary. "i want to." you whisper out to him, reassuring him that every bit of you wanted him. three words — three words which echoed in his ears for a short while.

he nodded his head, finally accepting the dream he has spent countless nights pondering about as his reality. he bent down once again, and captured his swelled lips onto yours. this time it was much more softer than previously, carefully crafted by his lips in order to show you that he wanted this as well. he wanted you to feel cherished without being completely horrified by the darkness that comes along with it — or more so, the mark whenever this great love affair passes. the anxiety that you will receive another gash upon your heart, one that you don't believe you would ever recover from. this — this would leave you broken and blue for the rest of your days. every breath you would take with be an exhale filled with complete agony by the loss of him.

his hand slips underneath your back, lifting you up closer to his chest. the way his hand grasped your side was a tender and yet had a sense of greediness that sent another wave of need through your body, beaching itself in your still clothed shorts. the scent of him washing way everyone — everything else. all you that could feel, smell, see, hear and taste was him.

how his lips tasted of freshly brewed coffee as if it was all he ever drank. how his freshly damp hair felt running through your fingers due to the amount of heat you two had been producing just by mouths alone had caused him to sweat — or from how much he was restraining himself from just taking you how you are right now. how he looked at you as if all he could ever want was in this bed alone. the bed you two shared on countless occasions, but never like this before. how his sounds of euphoria from just these subtle moments of foreplay sounded like symphonies ringing beautifully in your ears. how you could smell the woody yet somehow still beachy cologne that he had put on prior to your arrival wash off of him and be replaced by the scent of you.

"javi .." you breathlessly spoke his name in a matter of desperation. this foreplay was more than enough to send you spiraling over the thought of where this may end — what path the two of you would walk down together.

he nodded his head, talking deep breaths as he had slightly parted from you for only a second to vocalize his understanding. "i know." he replied, wetting his lips once more before placing another quick kiss onto your lips. he lifted himself off of you to reach a standing up position, putting all of his weight down onto his knees which laid beside your hips and began to take off his shirt. his eyes never left yours, especially when you eagerly pulled off the t-shirt you were wearing that was his which you previously took back to your house after you spent the night here.

you finally revealed the white laced bra that had been tormenting him thousands of times before. the white fabric that had covered your body from him whenever he was watching you from afar, and talking to you about an urgent matter that needed your assistance down home — the home that you, chucho, and him shared together. you both were comfortable with one another to the point where he was allowed to walk in on you while changing, as if you two were long already a married couple even though you both were still in your youth.

his breath hitched at the sight. "you've been torturing me with this one for so long." he hummed in delight, a smirk that pulled his outer part of his mouth up. it still looked as pearly white as he reminisced it was whenever he was in his bed alone, and his hands took on a different role than just twirling his fingers trying not to lunge towards you and take you how you were then.

you slightly chuckle at his remark towards you. "not my fault you walked in on me more times than i can count." you reply, biting back your smug grin. this time it was his turn to laugh. you lifted yourself up onto your elbows to get a better look at him. "i was starting to think you were doing it on purpose."

he shook his head at you. it was nice to feel lighthearted and intertwined with someone that you're in a vulnerable position for. it didn't seem uncomfortable or only needing to get off and then leave — it just felt ... natural, like you're giving a piece of yourselves to the other where you know it belongs. "maybe i was." he purrs while leaning forward and smiling into your skin as he leaves a trail of soft kisses along from your jawline to your sternum.

"you dirty boy." you teased him as you close your eyes and leaned your head backwards, allowing him more access to the area receiving his admiration.

he hummed in delight at your words. the way they left your lips as if it was some precious gesture bestowed onto him by the devils themselves. the ones that knew how to edge him on the most. "your dirty boy." he stated before he gently bit down on a patch of skin that barely was enough to keep in between his teeth. your yelped as your hands immediately fell onto the back of his head in shock, pulling him close. he wasn't short of the sucking onto the skin or how quick you had succumbed to his wishes by pushing his head deeper into you.

as a inexperienced teenager, his body had already been pulsing at the seams. the bulge in his pants became an apparent issue in his mind. it was throbbing and needing attention, but he didn't want to rush into it no matter how much he was in agonizing pain. he had waited for this moment — dreamt of it countless times and woke up to his bed being completely soaked. he just wanted it to be perfect, to be something that both of them could look back on with satisfaction and just pleasure.

whenever he had those filthy imaginations, he had only ever pictured you within them. every pornographic scene he watched on the television, he imagined you and him together. whenever you split after. a heated moment, he'd visioned you at home, laying your back against the wall with your hands in between your thighs. your pretty mind all filled with thoughts of him, wishing he was there to give you the relief you deserved. he'd spend nights, hard as a fucking rock just thinking about you.

you had consisted every single thought, not only the filthy ones but his day to day ones as well. in the grocery stores, when he was running errands, he found himself purchasing candies, candled scents, and stuffed animals that you'd like in order to gift them to you without even realizing.

"i like that." your tone had an undertone of giddiness as you twisted a single curl from his chocolate tinted hair in between your finger.

he raised an amused eyebrow, "oh yeah?" he questioned, kissing the line in between your rips all the way down to the waistband your short shorts. "which part?" he shifts a finger to wrap around the cloth. your heated skin spreading to warm his colder temperature one.

"the part where you're mine." you answered slyly, massaging his scalp with your slender fingers.

"oh cariño," javier's face fell. he was frowning as he guided himself back towards your face, peppering it with ticklish kisses which force you to gently giggle and try to push him away. "i've always been yours, with or without the title." he informs you, intentionally reassuring you that he's never desired to be with anyone else but you even if you both went through your rough patches, even if he had sucked out companionship elsewhere when you just couldn't give him it yourself.

"i know, amor." you reply, breathing out a long sigh, cursing yourself for ruining the mood. it was a moment of vulnerability. one that javier doesn't find you having ever, even for as long as he has know you you've barely ever opened up. it took him intruding in your house to find out that your father throws profanities towards you as if it was candy and he was a piñata. "now i know this may be hard for you, but stop talking and just kiss me." immediately after you finished that sentence you started to laugh because of his unamused expression towards your own joke, which you thought was hilarious.

"oh now you're gonna get it." he warned you, chuckling slightly as he leaned down and continued where he left off with the swollen condition of your redden lips.

he wasn't lying either, after he assaulted your lips once more he began to nip every bit of your chest and you had to be silent because of the sleeping state of the mighty beast named churro down the hall. due to the suction, he was leaving small breaks of blood vessels all over you and whenever you tried to push him away, to beg for mercy, he kept on pushing your buttons. he knew exactly when to quit teasing you, and exactly how far to push.

"okay, dick." you cursed at him, already tired of his antics. you both always had a childish requirement to mess with one another, and it always ended up with you both being tired of the other. you started your counterattack, from countless times you and him wrestled you knew exactly how to twist and turn him to succumb to your wishes. so, you grabbed onto his sides and pushed him down onto the bed while twirling to straddle on his hips. now, he was wide eyed and underneath you. smirking, you down at him proudly as if you were on a pedestal looking down at second place. you both couldn't help but feel each others need as they were touching the others, but you both were too caught up in challenging the other. "oh how the tables have changed, mi amor." the undertone of your voice was full of mischief. the change of the previous ‘love’ to ‘my love’ was a significant one — at least to javier it was.

"princesa, you really wanna go down that path at a time like this?" javier motioned with his hand to yours and his shirtless beings. you both got sidetracked with your dynamic. the lighthearted constant distractions made you both so much more connected to the other, even at a time like this where javier was as hard as boulder and you as wet as the caribbean sea.

you pondered the thought, looking at him deeply with judgmental narrowed eyes that made him feel tiny underneath your gaze, "tomorrow?" your voice echoed through the room as you raised an eyebrow, suggesting the possibility of a rematch tomorrow.

"tomorrow." he smirked while confirming with a nodding of his head. suddenly, with his hands on your waist he twisted you both to your original positions. "i win." he remarked smugly before placing a kiss onto your forehead.

"you're going to eat those words tomororw, pendejo." you stated to him, meaning every word as you cupped his cheeks within your palms.

"yeah?" he gently chuckled, moving his hand on top of top of yours and pulling it away from the side of his face to place his lips in the center of your palm, "well," he paused for a second to edge on his next sentence, pondering the impact of his words. "tonight i'm going to be eating you." he lowly spoke, placing one kiss on your palm before trailing more of his admiration down your forearm.

"oh really now?" you face lifted in an amused manner, watching him closely. javier has always had strong confidence in himself, and not once did it ever intimidate you. you stood highly, sometimes thought the world of yourself just as much as he did. it's another reason why there has been disputes between you two, neither of ever apologized. you hated the thought of it, being anything like what you grew up in, but you were just following what your father taught you. however, even with all the fights and flaws you two shared with one another you were always able to move past them and become stronger together.

"really." his lips pulled into a smile as he left your line of sight and tailed downwards. you could feel his finger pulling down your shorts revealing the matching laced set panties, as if you had put on a show just for him. he placed a kiss on the fabric, thanking god that he had sent such a beautiful gift for him that's now laying in his bed.

"you're telling me the first thing we're going to do together is you eating me out?" you laughed, pushing yourself up into your elbows. you'd never admit it, but he did look perfect in between your subconsciously spread out legs. he looked at you with those dark doe eyes of his.

"why .. do you not want to?" he questioned, his head departing from your thighs to look into your eyes.

"you wouldn't even know what to do!" you, now amused by his level of confidence, knock him down a peg to remind him that this was his first time ever doing something like that — like this.

his dark brown eyebrows furrowed, ".. are you challenging me?" his self esteem feeling threatened by her sense of 'experience'.

"what you've seen on porn doesn't count." you reply with a rolling of your eyes.

he stays silent for a moment, thinking of his next comeback. then, it hits him in the face. "practice makes perfect?" his voice was small, like it was the last card he had stacked. he grinned as that alone sent you in a fit of laughter.

"you're an idiot." you tell him, love filling up within your eyes as your hands rested on his broad shoulders. "we have plenty of time, let's just .. start easy."

"easy.." he repeats, almost to remind himself that he has plenty more time to experiment with you and as for his first time .. he'd be more than willing to just start with the basics. to learn how your bodies work together, how they gain the others pleasure, how to get the other to sing symphonies together, and how it feels to look from the high mountains of euphoria together before taking on even more difficult tasks. "okay." he agreed with your proposal, pulling himself back up to your face.

"there we go.." you beamed at him obeying your commands for once in his life. one of your arms snake around his neck as you pulled him closer into your warmth while the other pushed down his shorts that he always found himself sleeping in. his eyes landed on your collarbone which had his full name imprinted on it, and he couldn't help himself but to kiss at it. it was an area which he shockingly hadn't touched at all. at his sudden affection, your hand that laid over his shoulder shifted into his jungle of hair. your fingers roaming freely as you leaned your head backwards to release a noise of delight. "javi.." you breathlessly called out to him, mouth agape as you took quick breaths in and out.

his eyes widened at your reaction as he realized what you had done before he lunged towards you and began to put all of his attention to that very spot. to clarify, the agreement of tattoos on your eighteen birthday was the other chose the spot, just the name had to be the others. it was simple. he had your name plastered on the back of his neck. it seemed like the correct spot for it because in school you sit behind him in all of your classes. he wanted you to see that he was yours at all times, to remind you that his heart belong to you alone. you chose a spot right above your collarbone. at the time, he didn't understand why you'd get it somewhere that was so visible to everyone. he thought that perhaps it was a kink of yours, to be claimed by someone. however, now he realized what it was.

it was your sweet spot.

the place that a touch alone could make you fill the room with your raptures. it was extremely sensitive — most definitely fucking hurt to even get his name tattooed on there since there was barely any skin and it was all bone. the dirty play that you made sent his immense arousal for you already bursting through the roof. "dirty move, baby." javier stated, kissing his way back to your lips by going up your throat only to be met with your shit-eating grin.

you take a deep breath out, trying to recollect yourself after his assault onto your sweet spot. your breath hitched as you spoke, "'if you're not playing dirty, you're not trying.'" you sassily repeat a saying which javier has told you thousands of times before, and now it was coming and bitting him in the ass.

he rolls his eyes, "you're going to regret that." he warned you, before kissing the tip of your chin. he'll make sure to get you back for that tomorrow at your rematch, but right now .. he has more pressing matters to attend to such as the drenched cloth that's basically connected to you, and the bulge that's shaped out in his briefs. "cariño, you're so wet.." he noted, pulling his body upwards in order to get away from you to address what is causing all of your discomfort. since he's never experienced such a sight as you squirming underneath his gaze to make eye contact with him, he was frozen.

not that he didn't want to ease your ills, but with the anxiety that he won't be able to. "javier," you began to sit up fully, meeting his gaze with the lightest bit of tilting your head backwards in order to do so. "i want you." you tell him as you wrap your hands around his sculpted shoulders and pulled him into a tight hug. "i want you, javier peña." you repeated your past words to get the message across indefinitely. you could feel his heart rate increase as his chest was pulsing against your own.

javier leaned down and stuffed his face in between your shoulder, neck, and head. you could feel him slightly nodding his head at your words, finally letting them sink into his mind and accepting that you wanted this — wanted him, that all the wetness in your panties was because of the effects he has onto you.

your breathe bitches as he pulled down the only cloth that was left to cover yourself from him, and the moment that he revealed it to only him you shivered due to the coldness of the airwaves in his room colliding with the damper you. his lips left soft reassuring pecks onto your shoulder as he pulled down his briefs. you bit down on your lip harshly due to the tension which earned a splatter of blood slipping into your mouth, a metal taste taking over javier's.

he whispered nothing but sweet nothings to you. 'you're going to be okay.', 'i got you.', 'don't be scared.' are just examples of what he was saying. he wouldn't confess it, but he was just as nervous as you were.

you wouldn't admit it, but this was your first time as well — the first time you were doing it with someone you truly loved, that is. you loved javier more than life itself. he made every single pain blossom into something lovely, every scar healed into a fetching pattern. he was so good for you; yet, you couldn't help but think that you were contaminating him. that's why you pushed him away for so long — you didn't want to break him beyond repair with your own hands. your father broke you, other partners broke you, so .. what could you do?

however, all those virulent thoughts slipped away as javier entered your hotness at an excruciatingly slow pace. your breath hitched as you lowly cursed out to javier for the no warning sign. you hadn't expected him to engulf the entirety your walls had to offer. with widened eyes he stopped the second you began to show signs of discomfort and his heart dropped at the thought of hurting you so badly that tears were brimming to the side of your eyes.

you pressed your body up against his once again, shoving your face into his shoulder as you held on tightly to his neck. "what are you doing javier — just go!" you whispered, yet somehow managed to shout at him. you wanted him to move faster — needing him to relieve the pressure that had been building up during this entire conversation within you. you had already adjusted to him the second he had passed through your soaked walls, and now he was just still which only had burned your body more with a newly sense of desire.

at your pleads, he began his movement in and out of you. he was holding onto your waist tightly, looking down as he had to be aware of exactly where he was thrusting in. his calloused fingers digging into your skin as the tightness of your walls suctioning down onto him was absolutely killing him — fuck, it almost sent him over the edge alone. "i need you to calm down. you're too much .." he breathlessly begged her, moving his hand to her bare upper back in order to rub the skin to calm her down. he could feel her ease up in the slightest bit. "take deep breaths." he gently orders, placing soft pecks against her head which was resting on his shoulder. she was breathing heavily — he could feel the rising and falling on his own chest.

she nods her head at his orders. she succumbed to his orders and did has he pleased: taking a deep breathe in, holding it for a second, and letting it go to disappear within the open room. when he felt her ease against him, he let out sigh of relief before leaning them back against the bed. your hands fall from his neck and roam his chest in order to rememorizes yourself with the shaping of his body that you hadn't forgotten completely since the last time you saw it. "i'm okay." you reassured him as his chocolate eyes met yours. "you can move again."

the second you gave him permission he was back at it. he hadn't said anything about himself, but he was aching. it has been an hour since you arrived at his house and he had been solid ever since that phone call he made to you. he was desperate for release.

his hand drifted up towards your laced bra which he had been eyeing down for a long time. it seemed that he was hesitant the moment his fingers touched the lacing, his thoughts were contaminated with what you would think about it? if this was okay? if after this, would you two be okay? but just like before, all those thoughts go away the second one of your hands intervened in order to guide him towards it. it sent a mental message to him: 'don't think, just feel.'

his hand rested onto one of your breast, and you intertwined hands squeeze it together. a quiet moan escaped your lips as he continued his movements as well as play with your laced chest.

his heart skipped a beat at your noise and how you reacted to his touch. your back subconsciously arched in order to get into a closer proximity to him. your breaths were mixing together as he had finally reached the same destination that he and you both had been looking for. "yes javi — right there!" you stutter as you managed to get out the sentence you wanted in between short breaths.

even though he knew it too and you didn't have to vocalize it, he still loved the way you said it with such pride directed towards him as if he had done something outstanding. he loved the way his name came off from your lips, like it was a historically notable word that mean the most glamour thing. it was the first time he truly felt like a man. suddenly, bringing out of cloud nine due to your soft words alone, you clamped down onto him harshly. his eyes shot open as he groaned loudly in shock and curses constantly spilling out of his mouth naturally.

when he felt your ending splatter on top of him in the most heavenly way he lowly moaned as his climax reached the end sooner than he had expected to as well. the moment he had finished, his mouth was agape as he realized what exactly he had done. he slowly looked up to you with his horrified expression to be met with your angered one.

"i'm so sorry — i didn't know .. and you were so ..." he began to blabbering words that continuously became more smushed together in a state of panic. his cheeks were as red from embarrassment from losing his control so quickly.

however, the second you began to laugh his eyebrows furrowed. "i'm on the pill, you goof." you reminded him of a previous conversation that you two held where you informed him that you were on the pill after he caught you taking it. he finally released a sigh of relief as he was thanking god — shockingly due to the sin he had just committed, that all was well between you two. "that's what you get for not paying attention to me." you say, watching him as he pulled out of you and got off the bed to get a towel.

"pay attention to you?" he raised an eyebrow, questioning what you meant about that.

"you weren't answering me. thinking about another girl we're you?" you smirked, even though you wanted to truly break down at the idea of him even pondering another girl in this bed instead of you.

"never." he replied instantly. he knew exactly what games you play, and how you played them. the moment he returned to your side, he bent down to you. "you're the only girl i ever think about." he reassured her with a peck on the nose before he cleaned you and him up, leaving you speechless.

as you momentarily were lost in your thoughts due to his words, he threw a shirt of his which covered your face completely and blinded your gaze onto him. "hey!" you lowly shouted in protest as you took it off your face and analyzed it. it was one that he hadn't given you before — it was one of his favorites actually. "this is your favorite?" you reminded him, showing off the shirt as if he hadn't worn it a hundred times before.

"yeah? what about it?" he asked you as his back faced you while pulling up his briefs.

you stared at him for judgmental second before pulling the fabric over your head and ushering it down to cover you up. "oh, and you're going to need these." he turned around and threw you a pair of his boxers.

"what?" your eyes expanded as his boxers were laying in front of you. he wanted you to wear his underwear? now, you could take his boxers off everyday any day he wanted, but to wear his boxers was a completely different story.

"i mean, unless you want to wear soaked panties and shorts?" he questioned you, picking up both fabrics and lifting them to show their unwearable state.

you exhaled a defeating breath, "touché." you succumbed to the idea and pulled his boxers over your thighs before laying back on the bed and rethinking life itself. how would you two be after today — after this? would it still be the same .. or would it be more? fuck, what if it'd be less?

the moment his arms snaked around you and pulled you into him, all of the pressing thoughts went away as they usually did whenever he was close to you. it was like he was your safe space. a place to go when things become too much — home. you forgot how much you loved to be in javier's presence. how much you loved how his arms were shaped perfectly to hold your figure. one of your hands intertwined your fingers with one of his, and the other shifted to laying underneath the pillow you were resting your head on. "do you want me to go home?" you quietly whisper into the dark void that you found yourself in. javier had shut the lights off the second he was clothed, and in an instant after his task was done he was already returning to your side.

javier didn't understand how you thought you were so little in his life as if you didn't mean anything to him but a quick fuck and a friend to call upon whenever he wanted. it was absolutely jarring to him to witness such untruthful thoughts. "absolutely not." he whispered into your ear. "i need you here with me, always." he confesses to you, kissing the back of your head. it almost seemed like he had claimed every bit of your body today with his mouth his lips brushed against your skin.

his words alone made you softly smile, yet he couldn't see that reaction from you. all he could think about your reaction was the comforting silence he was blessed with. you didn't move, you didn't gripe, you stayed. you stayed for him and that's all that mattered.

tomorrow morning, you two would talk about where to take the next steps — what ground you two would cover as a team or solo. he hoped with every bone in his body that he wouldn't travel across another inch of this planet without you by his side. with you to come back to whenever he felt weak and needed someone to lay his head upon and just .. let out everything he had built up inside him. tomorrow morning would make or break him for the rest of his days, and yet he fell asleep faster than lighting. he subconsciously pulled you even closer into him, your legs twisting together in a naturally beautiful pattern. your bodies connected in more ways than just sexual. they were puzzle pieces meant to be together, and they were.

however, sometimes fate has a cruel sense of humor and loves to tear the fates ones apart.

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cattamouche · 8 months

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> my own interpretation of modern scara. ☄. *. ⋆

a/n: hello! I'm brand new here. writing on here has been something I've been wanting to do for a really long time so I finally created an account and put some thoughts together for my first post. it's not anything big, but it's something to get me started on here. hope u enjoy :')

✧ I know everyone likes him with an emo/goth style, but I think the elegant/pretty type of clothes he wears in game would translate over to real life quite well. Obviously he wouldn't wear the same exact clothes, but he would stick with a more elegant style rather than an emo one.

✧ He would definitely be the type of guy that has an extremely small amount of friends. I imagine him being very picky with the people he hangs out with, and despite him presenting himself as nicely as possible, his dismissive and uninterested attitude and personality would push most people away. It would be a miracle if anyone was willing to befriend him after that horrid first impression, but as long as he still has those close friends, he doesn't care about making new ones. He has a quality over quantity type of mindset for pretty much all things.

✧ Would take a while to get him to open up to you, but once you do break down those walls he's very sweet and caring. Loves his friends but is not good at showing it at all, gets embarrassed at the thought of outwardly showing his affection or appreciation for someone without the addition of a stupid remark. It's just not something he's used to, so serious affection would only be reserved for a potential partner- if he ever even managed to get to that point with someone anyway. It's hard for him, cut him some slack.

✧ As a student, I think he would take uni/college very seriously. He acts dismissive and uninterested in academics but he does put in a lot of work. You'll be miserable working with him in group projects because he'd be overly critical of your work and tell you to change things constantly, he's a perfectionist so putting up with him would be exhausting. He can be insufferable but by god will you get an A on your project. There's no way he's handing in a pile of shit with his name on it.

✧ In terms of hobbies and talents, I honestly think anything would suit him. I can imagine Ei being the type of parent to sign him up for any instrument lesson from an early age, piano, violin, chello, you name it, he has experience with a lot. Likes to play video games in his free time as well. I can't see him as the type of guy that's glued to his screen 24/7 but he's definitely spent a decent amount of his time on games. And his perfectionism doesn't just end at his studies, it applies to his hobbies too. He's the type of person that puts in a lot of effort to get all the achievements for his favorite games. Had various different consoles growing up. Has a preference for handhelds because he can take them anywhere and play a little something whenever he's bored.

✧ He's organized to a T. Of course, he does have those occasional days where his mental health is exceptionally bad, so that's the only time you'll see him a mess, and he gets extremely embarrassed about it. He cares a lot about his image, so anyone seeing him at his lowest would have to take the state they saw him in to the grave.

✧ He's a cat person. No one's surprised. He wouldn't have his own pets past those 2 goldfish he won at a fair when he was young, but when he sees strays on the street he will go out of his way to go to the nearest store and buy them some canned food. If he sees them often enough on his route, he will start carrying around little treats for them knowing he'll see them out and about. What do you mean going that specific direction is only slowing him down. No he's not going out of his way to see his little friends, it's a shortcut. You don't know what you're talking about.

Overall, in my eyes, he would just be a guy with a bit of spice. Someone that just has trouble making friends and keeping his attitude in check.

#english isnt my first language hey #the ending is kinda abrupt but idc #i love him #scaramouche x reader #modern scaramouche #modern scara #wanderer x reader #idrk what im supposed to be tagging this as tbh #scaramouche x you #scaramouche x y/n #? how do i get to my target audience bc this isnt even an x reader but like. this is the type of stuff u guys read right

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blueiight · 4 months

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IWTV E4 “A Ruthless Pursuit of Blood with All a Child’s Demanding.” Claudia discussing how it feels to escape poverty to being adopted into wealth, struggling in her existence without peers even during her second childhood and how she does not even care to have the veneer of mortal manners around Louis’s family, what Charlie as her last peer meant to her, and her mortal upbringing prior to Lestat + Louis.

And I realized, what I thought was Heaven was just some nice room. And what I thought were angels were really hell demons.

Uncle Les and Daddy Louis were rich. They had nice clothes and a nice auto carriage and a funny way of being nice to each other.

I gotta go to bed when the rest of the world wakes up, so there's less kids to play with...

Daddy Lou said I had been away from people too long. I didn't know how to behave right anymore. But Uncle Les said, I behaved just fine.

Diary, his name is Charlie. He's got veins like rivers. They flow right down his arms. …Charlie's death ushered in one of the darkest eras in our lives. The oh-so-delicate balance of our oh-so-delicate household was shattered. For Claudia, all humans died with Charlie.

And, diary, you'd think a girl whose mama died in childbirth... whose daddy gave her away to a mean old auntie who beat her 'cause no one said she couldn't, who died in a fire but came back by the blood magic of two demons, well, you'd think that girl wouldn't know what funny was. But you'd be wrong, diary. And if I told you, dumb diary, that that same girl was being raised to kill like her demon parents did, to take two souls a day so she could stay in the same flat-chested, hairless-crotched 14-year-old baby doll body as her mind and spirit turn 19, 20, 25, 63, 358, you dumb, dumb diary, I bet you'd say to anyone who'd listen, "Fun? Fun? How does she even get up in the morning?" Well, let me tell you something, you stuck-up, flower-covered, three-dollar fancy fսcking paper diary, I'm doin' just fine. (diary pages read aloud as Claudia self harms at the end of e4)

IWTV E5 “A Vile Hunger for Your Hammering Heart”. Claudia discussing her life/reckoning with the fate of her premature existence.

"Dear Diary, am I gonna be a virgin every single time I do it? Won't my skin down there grow back like my hair does when I cut it?"

Who am I supposed to love? You two have each other. Who's my Lestat? Who's my Louis? I’m not human. What human would want me? Perverts? Like the uncle at the roomin' house who used to watch me pee? Or little boys? And 40 years from now... still little boys? How are you gonna fix it, huh?… (turns to Louis) [Lestat] treats us like shit and you just take it! And you, [turns to Lestat] cruel as the devil ever made, to deny me one love when you’ve got two.

[Talking to Louis in her room after the confrontation at the dinner table] I remember the night I was made, the fire chokin' me, you carryin' me out through the flame and the smokes. But then why'd you take me home? Why not a hospital? …. But I was breathin'! Maybe I'd have a handsome husband by now. Or maybe he'd be plain but with a good disposition. That'd be fine, too. I'd be sweepin' floors, makin' dinners, nursin' babies. Maybe I'd go to church. You think on that some.

How does Claudia react after her rape? She exhibits textbook behaviors.

Co-dependency.

I spend time following Louis and Lestat now that I am my own woman... with no obvious sense of why I follow them, other than meaning slowly disintegrates without them...My companions in immortality.

but wait.. u might ask: doesn’t this contradict what she said years earlier in this same episode about wanting ‘her own Lestat and Louis’? is this Louis or Armand somehow forging Claudia’s diary? or is this a rape victim shortly after the actual experience struggling with her emotional+ mental state and in that frame of mind going back to the immortal family she finds to be a more familiar sort of ‘evil’ than the unknown vampire that raped her, especially after witnessing Louis weep over the grave Grace made of him? to Claudia here, being Louis’s ‘sister’ is balm put onto a bleeding wound.

Hypervigilance over her wider situation ad an Enmeshment with Louis, as they both have endured incredibly traumatizing events (with Claudia being raped + shortly after, witnessing Louis being beaten) and are without Lestat for six years following the end of E5 picking up the pieces. it is Claudia who tends to Louis in his most vulnerable here, and Louis struggles with that, wanting to be ‘her knight in vengeful black’ in return.

She's grown very protective of me. That's what this is. It's why it's hard. She came back altered when she left us. There's a darkness in her that wasn't there before. Give her a little time. [Louis is trying to appease Lestat here in their ‘compromise’, but there is a key bit of truth in his observations here.]

Claudia learned very early on, as early as E4 when Louis asked her mentally about Charlie, how to block her mind off from Louis. and with her traumatic experiences, its all but said that hypervigilance protects her mind further (as shown in the S2 trailer when Armand comments on it). When Lestat steals her from off the train, he also threatens her:

Because if you try this again, Claudia, I won't snap your leg, defile your pocket, and zoom off on a motorbike. I'll turn your bones to dust.

Is it any wonder Claudia draws the comparison to Bruce when she talks to Louis, especially when Louis in the season finale plays the role of a honey trap to the very same lover who almost ‘killed Louis’, as Claudia [and Daniel alike] frame the ending of E5 as abuse + attempted murder, as Claudia seethes , is ‘done enduring?’ and just before she creates her own murder plan:

Or did you kill him, like you did Antoinette, and how you tried to do with Louis?

I have to wonder why, over a year from airing, blogs and reviews claiming to be dedicated to the series rehash the most juvenile questions that the episodes themselves directly answer? How can S2 spec or complex discussion occur, if callout PSAs shutting down any sort of canon-compliant discussion is the way to go? If people constantly exhibit their refusal to meet the show where its at and engage the material for what it is, where can we go from here? AMC IWTV is very didactic. ‘The absence of metaphor is striking’. Yet for all the waxing about loving ‘fucked-up gothic romance’, there is a willful ignorance in understanding where & what makes the situation fucked up to begin with. Or even an interest in understanding the basics of the setting!

#yn.#family from hell #iwtv #claudia

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hammerhead-jpg · 2 months

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Idk if I'm ever gonna finish the refs for my redacted ocs, but here are their logos

I could make some doodles of their designs or smth idk....

I wrote some info about them under the cut if ya curious (that ended up being a lot longer than I expected so behold)

Taurus

I already made a ref sheet for Taurus so I already wrote down some info about him there so you can go see that if you wanna

I can only imagine since I established that he's friends or at least knows every single redacted de(a)mon and also is a part of the chorus that if he would be on the redacted channel he'd successfully force himself into practically every storyline.

Practically all redacted ocs that I made I more imagine as side characters than as "main" characters so they don't really have a listener, but I guess his listener would technically be freelancer.

I imagine he remembers the cacophony well, even though he wants to forget it.

Gin Asari

I'm very aware that Gin wouldn't really work as a character since, to be a sibling to a listener would mean to not have them have a distinct background, race or gender (or at least agab) since this is specifically an identical twin brother, because unless them and the listener are not blood related (and in this case they are) the characters background, race and gender would allude to the listeners background, race and gender which you're not supposed to do. But because I have already made up the listeners background race and gender as if they were an oc as most people do, I haven't really thought about this.

Anyways, this is Gin Asari! Lovely's twin brother! And if you haven't noticed they are the main character of the oc fic I wrote some time ago. I actually made 4 more chapters for that fic but didn't post it since I thought it wasn't good enough and also people hate fics written in first person for some reason.

I don't really remember why I made this oc either, I guess just because I wanted to explore the idea of a electro-energetic baddy, even though they don't really have their electric powers yet since they haven't experienced a traumatic enough experience and Lovely hasn't told them in fear that they would try to traumatize themselves on purpose to get them. I also wanted to explore Adam's backstory through them (btw I fucking struggled to make the timelines align to find out what age they are).

For those of you who haven't read the fic ("the fic" meaning also the chapters I didn't publish so I guess that's like all of you) here's a quick summary: Lovely's twin brother (who at this point isn't in contact with Lovely since Lovely ran away from their parents when they were 16) is chilling in med school with their roommate: Adam Jessup. That is, all until Adam disappears one day and is found dead in a car crash, except, Adam didn't really die and he just got turned willingly. Adam returns one year later by sneaking into Gin's room. There, Adam descides to feed on them and after realizing they're willing to let him feed on them, let's them live and starts a very unhealthy relationship where he returns to feed on them every week or so. That is until he gets addicted to their humanborn latent electro energetic blood and every week or so becomes every night. The induced anemia and stress from overworking themselves due to their parent's high expectations, Gin's mental state starts to decline. That is until they find out that Adam is a literal serial killer and he basically tries to murder them since they didn't want to continue their relationship. They run away to Dahlia, both from him and from their parents, until a couple of years later they meet Lovely, now a vampire, by chance, and they catch up and learn that Adam has been upgraded to a decapitated skeleton under a broken down rollercoaster.

I realize that I mostly wrote their backstory and not their current story, like I don't really know what happens after they catch up with Lovely. Do they descide to keep in touch with the Solaire clan or do they go back to their normal life? Does Lovely tell them about the whole electric energetic thing? Do they befriend the other vampires? I don't know! I haven't decided yet.

Methuselah

I'm trying to figure out what this fool's nickname would be besides just Meth.

I thought to myself "what was the first de(a)mon created like? What are they doing?" So I started brainstorming ideas until they eventually became an oc.

So Methuselah (named after the oldest known star, I wanted to be the first star given a name but all that popped up was the oldest star), an inchoate, the first created demon, the one who has lived for thousands of years, fought in the cacophony and created the chorus and serve as kind of a makeshift leader of it.

Some may say that Meth here is what you would call a mary sue but you know as they say when I create a character that's the world's best assassin, a science experiment possessed by a god of anger who has a corrupted form that slowly kills them when they use it, they get called a Mary Sue, but when Asagiri Kafka does it it's "I love Chuuya Nakahara!!"

If Taurus is jaded by his long ongoing life Methuselah is the most jaded of them all. Just basically barely cares about the things going around them. Even if they did care about keeping relationships everyone except some of the chorus members is scared of them due to their overwhelming power, both magical and political.

When the ruling council descided to include de(a)mons in it they were the first demon asked if they would want to join as a representative for inchoate demons their response was to spit in their face and say "was that the answer you were looking for?"

I imagine that they are currently dealing with the whole Hush situation, and that in the first time in thousands of years, they're scared of death. After the cacophony in which they almost died, saw many deaths including the death of their first and only friend, they thought that if another life threatening situation occurred they wouldn't be scared to die for the cause, but now that they're faced with a person that is not only stronger than them but could kill them in a second, they're scared of death after so many years of being untouchable.

Miles Deen

One time, my lovely mutual @cyc-chilla once said in a post about wether or not redacted characters get biches, that Frederick only seems to attract extremely shady and terribly shifty dumpster opossum men, and I thought to myself "he absolutely does"

So Miles Deen was born.

If you identify as a garbage dwelling raccoon trash goblin you obviously haven't met Miles

The icon of the two bandaids and the description of "the thrall" doesn't encapsulate him well enough, it should've been an icon of a garbage can and he should've been titled "the trash dweller" if I wanted to be accurate.

Basically, Miles is an informed unempowered guy who was a couple of years ago attacked by a shade, but instead of having all of his life force drained, he only got half of his life force drained and later found out via seer that he would only live to 27 (he's currently 25, 21 when he found out)

He's also homeless because he got kicked out of his parents house after he couldn't find a job due to his clinical depression, so as you can imagine his life wasn't looking too good.

But, he descided to keep living and use the fact that he's going to die young as a motivator to live without fear and also made a bucket list of things he wanted to do before he died.

One of those things was being fed on by a vamp, and that is how he finds himself on Solaire clan territory and is found by Fred. The rest is history.

Fred is convinced he is insane but he kinda likes that about him. Bright eyes does not like him at all.

He somehow always gets himself into trouble and then the clan is forced to protect him in all kinds of batshit situations.

If he was actually on the redacted channel, he'd probably never appear or would maybe be mentioned by name once, just because I descided to make a character for a deleted discontinued series.

Sadly, I think his story probably would end with him dying peacefully in his sleep, since he wouldn't want to get turned and him getting turned would be kinda a stupid thing writing wise since it's kinda stupid to build up the idea of a character dying only to have them live anyway (and his whole character is built on the idea that he's going to die young)

Ezra Solaire

One day, I thought to myself "Christian needs a gay awakening" and so he did.

Ezra is a cayote shifter and part of the Solaire clan, raised by William since birth.

He seems very sweet, and he is but he's also brutally honest.

He'd never let a vamp feed on him (William even set up that you are to be executed if you attempt to feed on him without his permission) but he does donate blood to the clan often. He has so many "I donated blood" stickers.

I imagine he's friends with Darlin', which is how he ended up meeting the Shaw pack

I keep thinking about what his talk with William would be like after the summit, cause it would be absolutely heartbreaking

Because I imagine Ezra was one of the people that wasn't told about the plan, so with Ezra who just wanted a normal life, now learning that the Solaire clan which they already didn't like being in since about 90% of the clan didn't like them, is/is going to become some sort of vigilante assassin squad and also feeling like their relationship with the Shaw pack is destroyed, the place where they actually felt like they had a normal life and a family, I can only imagine how upset they'd be.

But on the other hand, William is like a father to him and he couldn't imagine how it would be to leave him, and he'd also be leaving behind the few people he was close friends with in the clan (like Vincent) and he also wouldn't think it would be right to have William supporting him financially with a house and a job when he was leaving the clan, so he would have not only have his financial and social support cut, but also physical since, I forgot to mention but, he has multiple sclerosis and is disabled, so he sometimes needs a caregiver to help him do everyday tasks (which would usually be by William, Vincent or an assistant William hired). So yeah, I can only imagine how he must feel.

Atlas Madden

Watch out John I'm stealing your name or smth

To be completely transparent, I did create Atlas just to ship him with Scorpius. I know I'm cringe but I'm free

Atlas is a freelancer who works as a healer, but also has an interest in water magic and shifter magic. How is a non-shifter good at shifter magic? He isn't! He likes morphing into a disturbing half wolf half human creature and scaring people in it!

So umm I may have brainstormed Scorpiuses backstory on a whim by accident...whoops...hate when that happens

So going forward any Scorpius lore I drop is my headcannons and not actual lore

I swear this is important to Atlas

Okay so: I imagine that before being captured by close knit Scorpius worked in this kind of strip club where the whole shtick was that incubi were the strippers. The strippers weren't also escorts but if they chose you you could potentially go home with them.

That's how Scorpius and Atlas met.

Atlases friends brought him to this strip club mostly as a joke and Atlas was kinda uncomfortable the whole time.

Until he caught Scorpiuses eye, who then decided to enact his flirt persona and bring him home.

After that, Atlas eventually became his charge and they would meet every so often.

They both agreed for no strings attached, Scorpius didn't really like hookup culture but needed to get energy one way or another, but Atlas wanted him to know that he respected him as a person and wanted them to be at least friends.

One day, Atlas pushed the friendliness a little too far and Scorpius told him that he doesn't need to try to appeal to him so he could feel like a good person. Atlas got offended by this because he really just wanted to be nice, not because he wanted to pat himself on the back.

An argument ensued and Scorpius left without getting an energy feeding. He went on, trying to find somebody else to feed on, and that is when he gets tricked and captured by close knit. With no way to communicate to Atlas, Atlas believes Scorpius left him for good.

I have a lot more planned out for them but that takes place after Scorpius leaves the basement, which as you can see he hasn't yet, so I'm obviously waiting til that happens so I'm not writing lore for something that hasn't happened yet.

So um yeah

#redacted oc #redacted audio #redacted asmr #redactedverse

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yandere-toons · 1 year

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I've been having these headcanons about what would happen if Batman had a child that became a villain. Since you seem familiar enough with Batman stuff I figured I'd show up with some general headcanons about that scenario!

-I like to think that in order for Reader to want to become a villain despite most likely fighting crime alongside Batman, Batman would have to break their trust in a huge way.

-I'm imagining scenarios where Batman unknowingly begins to brush Reader off, one day he heads out for a mission he doesn't think reader can handle. Reader creates an explosive device in secret to try to take out a villain and help (yes, I may or may not have been inspired by Arcane) but everything goes wrong. I imagine the explosion would be stronger than reader anticipated and they'd wind up taking out some innocent people, not just the villain.

-I think Batman genuinely wouldn't know how to react, given that his sidekick was trying to help. I can see him leaving them at the scene as he tries to collect his thoughts, or maybe he'd REALLY lose it and yell about how he told them to stay away. Either way, this ends up with Batman leaving them, not exactly with the intent of doing so forever though.

-I can imagine there'd be a certain villain in my mind that would greatly enjoy the little explosion show reader created. I imagine it would be Joker! Joker would offer to take them, not with any good intentions but more so because he loves the idea of taking another thing that's Batman's. Harley would definitely instantly grow attached to the kid, though. She'd act like their mother from day one.

-I can see Batman panicking and losing it when he realizes he can't find reader anywhere, he'd definitely stay awake for numerous nights blaming himself for their disappearance as Alfred comforts him. Meanwhile, Joker is showing reader all his tricks, and yes, he'd encourage reader's thing for making explosives in battle. He'd recognize the potential for destruction that they have.

-I can see the reader being mostly close with Harley at first, but I like the idea of Joker becoming attached as well over time. In other words, I imagine joker and Harley would be platonic yandere parents.

-When Batman finds out reader has been helping out joker and Harley willingly, I can see him breaking down and blaming himself, all the while begging for reader to come home to him again. It gets even more depressing if you imagine that reader has a fractured mental state after the explosion and is genuinely convinced that batman hates them.

-I can see Batman vowing to try to bring reader back from the darkness they've thrown themselves into, even if they've committed heinous acts of crime he'd definitely be under the impression that he could safe them. I feel like this is how he'd become a platonic yandere parent tbh.

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welovemysty · 6 months

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This is a situation entirely of my own making. I begged my parents to let me go to this exclusive school. I knew it would be challenging both mentally and emotionally, but I knew I would be accepted to a good college afterward, maybe even with a full scholarship.

I also knew about the school's honor and discipline code and the their reliance on corporal punishment and the cane. They had educated generations of girls, and they knew what methods worked to graduate the best and the brightest. They embraced proven modern methods, but not when it came to handling disrespect, disobedience and dishonesty.

I was caught sneaking back into my dorm one night by one of the caretakers. When she asked why I was out, I told an obvious lie. When she asked if I was being truthful, I gave her a rude answer and a sarcastic eye roll. When I saw the headmistress the next morning, she told me I was guilty of three things: breaking the rules, lying about it and being disrespectful when I got caught.

She said first year students sometimes have difficulty conforming to the honor and discipline code, and she was going to allow me some leeway. I thought this meant that I would be let off with a warning. What it actually meant was that I wasn't going to be expelled. Instead, I was going to be caned.

I had been spanked at home when I was little, but nothing could have prepared me for what happened next. She got a long cane from a locked cabinet behind her desk. I had to bend all the way over and touch my toes. She lifted my skirt up over my back and lowered my panties. That was humiliating, but the worst was yet to come.

She tapped my bottom a few times, and then there was a pause. I heard the cane swishing through the air and striking my backside with a loud thwack. I didn't feel it immediately, so I thought it wasn't too bad. Then the reality of it registered. It felt like a line of fire had been laid against my bottom. I did the only thing a rational person could do. I jumped upright, yelled and grabbed my rudely assaulted behind with both hands.

The headmistress said girls who've never been caned usually do that on the first stroke, but if I did it again during this or any subsequent caning, that stroke wouldn't count and would be regiven.

The pain was excruciating, and I wanted to beg her to expel me instead. Even in my pained and frightened state, however, I knew that would be a stupid, regrettable decision. I bent back over with my hands on the floor for the next five strokes. They came in fifteen second intervals, the intense pain of one stroke just starting to dissipate as the next one landed.

A few seconds after the last stroke, she ran her fingers across the welts on my bottom as if she were admiring her craftsmanship. Once satisfied, she told me to stand up and readjust my clothing. She tucked her cane under her left arm and stuck out her right hand. I stood rubbing my bottom not knowing what else to do. She told me it was customary for those girls receiving the cane to thank the headmistress and shake her hand afterward. I took her hand, shook it, and said, "Thank you, ma'am," but I was too dumbstruck at the moment to question why anyone would ever do that.

Back in the dorm, I used a mirror to examine my injured bottom. From the way I felt, I had expected it to look like freshly ground hamburger, but it wasn't too bad. There were six parallel lines across both cheeks with some overall redness, and I would probably have some bruising later in the day or tomorrow.

What I wasn't expecting at all was my celebrity status that evening. It seems that all the girls had heard about my ordeal and wanted all the details and to see the evidence on my bare bottom.

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youcantstandit · 2 years

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Wet Paint - Judd Birch x Reader

contains.... suggestive stuff! fem reader! judd is hot!

Judd needed a job. Summer of his senior year was nearing its start, and he couldn't manage to pull enough money from his parents to fulfill his needs of food, whiskey, and other useless items for passive enjoyment. This meant he could either rob a small business, or, alternatively work for one.

So, he decided to put some of his skills to use. Painting had always come easily to him, plus it would look good on his resume for art school. So, he thought, why not just go for it?

Y/n, on the other hand, had been saving up money since childhood. Now, at 18, she had enough cash (combined with some of her parents' efforts) to invest in small renovations for her space. The dusty pink walls lining her bathroom were far outdated, so her father decided to call a painting company to renew them. However, he gracefully forgot to mention this to Y/n.

Online school was currently beating the shit out of Y/n. And while she did get stay home and eat food everyday, she also had to wake up early and fucking work. Being a senior in this century was really not the best time.

At about 12:30, her lunch break started, and she took the time to really relax from the previous meeting. Take off the bra, tie up the hair, and put on the fuzzie paw booties. It was a crucial routine.

However, just as soon as she took off her glasses and slumped back in her chair, the door bell snapped her awake. Nobody was expected to come over, and she was alone (save for Friend's constant snap chats about going crazy from the un-required quarantine). She furrowed her brows in concentration, but figured if there was a murderer, she was just too tired to care.

She walked to entrance, clad in booty shorts (that Friend would scold for wearing in public) and a black off-the-shoulder cardigan, and opened the door.

"Um, hi?" she squinted.. who the fuck was this?

"I'm supposed to paint the bathroom, a guy called," Judd was already done with this bullshit. The cute girl who opened the door looked helplessly confused. He wanted to roll his eyes at having to explain himself, but refrained.

Oh. That. Y/n blushed at her appearance, mentally cursing whatever god was out there for making her life a constant state of chaos. Why wouldn't anyone tell her of this event, so that she didn't look like a total train wreck in front of the hot guy outside her front door. As she came to think of it, he looked vaguely familiar, maybe even attended the same school as her.

"S-sure, come in," she stuttered at the situation at hand and guided him through the short walk to her pristine bathroom. She assumed that if he was a murderer, she probably didn't stand a chance to live anyways.

They stood in the frame of the door as she explained an overview of what she anticipated for the property.

"I'm Y/n, by the way. Um I'm sure my dad discussed the colouring already? It's a pretty basic palette. Just white on all walls. And let me know if you need anything," she rambled about the task at hand and gestured to the room. Every second brought a more vivid shade of red to her cheeks as the man did not lift his gaze from her own. He must've had the most fervent stare, with green eyes so intense they seemed to bore holes right through her.

"I'm Judd," the corner of his mouth pulled up a little, bemused at the blathering mess before him. She was quite cute, he thought, blushing without him even doing anything. He wondered what was to occur if he actually played along.

With that thought in mind, Judd leaned forward, causing Y/n's back to press against the frame of the door behind her. He put one arm above her head, easily towering over her, and focussed that piercing gaze straight into her eyes. She practically cowered beneath him, gulping audibly as she watched thick charcoal strands of hair fall into his face.

"Oh- oh, um," Y/n flatteringly reacted, her whole face now visibly burning. She felt a flicker of heat begin to pool at her core, incredibly turned on and confused at the same time. She definitely knew him now, recognized by the countless times he's been seated outside their principle's office.

And then it was over. Like a flash of lightning, he was back and doubled over, laughing his literal ass off at the sight before him. Y/n dead panned.

"Okay. Real fucking funny, Birch," she rolled her eyes and face palmed at the rebel. She didn't feel stupid, but had instead already begun plotting revenge.

"You should've seen- oh your face was so- just," he slowly started to calm down, still grinning like the maniacal teen he was branded as.

Then, Y/n did the unexpected. She leaned up, and placed one arm around his neck, and the other slid across his back. Her lips met his in a dash, and the warm composition took Judd by surprise. Nonetheless, he complied. He had no complaints about this girl getting on him, and eagerly kissed back. He wouldn't mind getting a quick fuck in before his next appointment anyways. Although, this was definitely breaking the 2m apart rule.

Y/n grasped onto the shirt of Judd's back and continued to make out with him. She felt his tongue poke at her mouth, and quickly let him enter. Their mouths were mangled in a tie as Y/n brought one hand down to massage the area between Judd's hips. He growled in response and his member grew with every minute of her touch. Once he was fully hard, they had been out of breath from making out, with pupils dilated from lust.

Y/n felt this and, like the little devil she was, promptly moved away and removed contact from the man. He was hunched forward a bit from trying to savour the taste of her sweet lips, and immediately furrowed his brows at the loss of touch.

She was smirking and Judd was left with a hard-on. He tried to form a coherent thought—although the rush of blood to his dick was interfering with his brain; what the fuck was going on?

Y/n immediately burst into a fit of giggles at the situation she created.

"Okay, now your face! It's really the best- oh," she swiftly turned to her left and started strutting back to her desk.

Judd, now finally realizing what was going on, sprinted after her until his chest stood as a shield between her and anything else. He had an animalistic look in his eyes as he glared. This girl seemed like she'd be more than a quick fuck. He was going to ruin her.

"You're so not going to get away with this. Wait till' you see what I have in store, princess," he growled, and Y/n felt the familiar heat begin to pool below again. She smirked, eyes twinkling as she looked up at the cryptic man before her, knowing she made him into this mess of a situation.

"Try me," she figured her bathroom would have to wait another day.

hi! so i figured i should cross-post some of my stuff? also sr. year me did pretty good w this one lol .. this may have reawakened my thing for him

#judd birch #judd birch x reader #judd birch x fem! reader #big mouth #cw: suggestive #can you believe this came from my imagination?#tbh this was not that long ago #he's still hot though #omg it's 4am #judd x reader

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the-sprog · 3 days

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I think a Batman/DetCo crossover would be perfect especially in the context of how fucking insane Shinichi's parents are.

I was thinking and I realized they're a mix of the Drakes (neglectful in the "never being home" kinda way, rich but it doesn't seem like their child sees a lot of that money) and Bruce ("how'd you learn how to shoot a gun" "my father spent a summer with me in Hawaii to teach me" what an insane scene that was. Not to mention the "yeah. It's a good idea to traumatize our child via fake kidnapping to teach him a lesson about stranger danger :)" and "Shinichi, dear, I know you're 6yo but come investigate this suicide with me sweetie") but they're also above worse (willing to falsify police and government documents for son).

Would Bruce love the Kudos or hate them? On one hand, Yusako definitely has them figured out. He's kinda like Alfred that way.

The Kudos get invited to an event, something like an award ceremony or some kind of cinema festival. They decide to bring Conan as a decoy for Shinichi related questions (usually they'd just use school as an examination why he wasn't there but they've been saying Shinichi is traveling for a case nowadays and it wouldn't do well to contradict that).

Bruce is the one that organized whatever event this is. I wanted the Drakes alive but I also want Damien to meet Conan. So. Sorry Janet and Jack. I'm going full Batfam for this.

Clark Kent is there, though he's technically a plus one. Cat is doing a piece for the event, specifically she wants to interview the Kudos, which is a feat as of late, and needed a last minute plus one (the Kudos are volatile and no one knew if they'd actually show up. When they did, Cat had to rush to get to Gotham before they decide they got bored and fucked off).

Of course, Cat immediately latches onto Conan's existence and assumes that he is why the Kudos have been out of the public eye. But not in the actual real way. She starts by asking general questions about them, their careers, and the event they're at at the moment.

And then she hits them with: "so. I see you've expanded the family. How does Shinichi feel about having a little brother?"

Which breaks just about everyone involved in the conversation.

Immediately Yukiko goes into actress gear. "Oh no he's- this is Conan, Conan Edogawa. He's our nephew. He's been staying with a friend of ours in Japan, but we thought he'd like coming back to the States for a bit!" All while smiling. Meanwhile Conan goes through all the stages of grief and is already building up the script for when he's gonna have to kiss ass to Ai for ending up in the Daily Planet.

Yusako senses this and tries to mitigate the situation a bit. "I'd appreciate if you didn't put him in your article. He's just a kid. And the focus is supposed to be on the event and our achievements, not a gossip piece about our private life"

But then Clark speaks up. Unfortunately he's been listening to the conversation and keeping track of everyone's reactions to everything. And he has a good memory. He has also listened to enough rants from Batman about the KID Thief to know more details than the average person.

"Aren't you the KID killer?" Everyone blanches. "I mean, that child from the KID Thief heists?"

"Uhm..." Conan is stumped. He's really bad at this. Of all the things his parents did, they never left him to deal with the vultures alone. But that also means that in his entire High School Detective career he had more of a "avoid at all costs" kinda mentality when it came to talking to the press directly. Sure they've made articles about him, but he's never met anyone interview him directly.

But again, Yukiko to the rescue. "I think that's enough. I hope you can respect our wishes." She puts her hands on Conan's shoulders as she redirects him away from them.

Clark is a little worried, a little suspicious. But he stops Cat from following them by reiterating that he's a kid and the Planet is not a tabloid newspaper.

Of course pt2, things go as things go when Conan is around a respectable amount of people and someone dies. Immediately Conan is on high alert, but so is Bruce who's worried about how someone could've managed to successfully commit a murder under his nose.

So, the investigation begins. On technically 4 sides. Yusako is doing his own detective work, but he's staying on the sidelines and letting the others be at the center of it all. Conan's special interest has been activated so he's in full inspection mode and putting himself in everyone's business. Bruce immediately contacts Commissioner Gordon, and starts distracting the people at the event while sussing out anyone who might have had a motive and/or opportunity. Clark has engaged his investigative journalism side and is already gathering evidence.

Meanwhile Damien is trying to convince Bruce to let him threaten people with unimaginable violence to make them comply and confess. But then he gets distracted by Conan and starts trying to babysit him but in a "I'm better than you tsk you're so immature" kinda way. Keeping him out of the way by yelling at him and dragging him away physically. Conan is not deterred.

All in all, it's a regular day for Conan, a particularly interesting day for the Kudos, a surprisingly weird day for Bruce, and a very annoying day for Damien.

#me me post #dcxdc #batman #batfam #detco #detective conan #imagine Kaito is also there #he was scouting the place for a heist #and bumped into Selena #and then ended up as one of the suspects #because ofc je did

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wehadabondingmoment · 10 months

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Adrien idolizing his dad makes sense

There has been so much hate due to the way Gabriel's abuse was handled specifically. I do agree that it should have been handled differently but I also think that Adrien's behavior made sense.

Adrien was beginning to understand his father's abuse and the effects it has had on him and he was getting so angry at him for it. With that kind of stuff, anger comes before acceptance because it's a lot like grief. Of course, this anger wasn't healthy by any means, it did feed into his overall s5 arch of trying to cataclysm people.

Adrien was beginning to be angry and then the person he was starting to hate died while defeating the bad guy (as far as he knows). Gabriel continuously used the excuse that he's doing this (abuse) for Adrien's own good, that he's just trying to protect him and for his father to die doing just that?

Of course Adrien would feel guilty for doubting his father. "Maybe he was trying to protect me by locking me up in a solitary confinement cell." "Not allowing me to date my girlfriend may have been his way of caring :)"

Adrien is gullible and emotional and feels chronic guilt. He's a perfect victim and he's written like that on purpose. Adrien Agreste is perfect and someone who is perfect wouldn't think ill of their dead father.

There used to be a lot of fan theories speculating on Emilie's morality and doubting that she was as perfect of a parent as Adrien's words make her out to be. This is precisely because Adrien idolizes and excuses people and their behavior. When someone dies, it is entirely normal to force yourself to think positively of them. To get so caught up in grieving that everything gets pushed back, all the anger and pain and you only feel worse if a bad thought does cross your mind.

Adrien has so much love in his heart and he isn't emotionally prepared to handle anything as complex as the relationship he currently has with his dad. After all, Gabriel defeated Hawk Moth, he must be good.

And this ties into the way he views Ladybug. Ladybug fights against the bad guy which means that he automatically sees her as the good guy and defends some of her more questionable actions (I could discuss this in a whole different post but alas). Depending on the season and his mental state he does have moments of doubt where he calls her out but especially when he's the one hurting, Chat Noir likes to rationalize her behavior. Even when she deserves to be called out for it.

He's essentially doing the same thing with his father that he has done all his life with everyone, no?

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moiravim · 9 months

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I Miss When We First Met: Chapter 26

YN Potter falls in love with Draco Malfoy. Along with that, her relationship with her brother, Harry begins to fall apart as she was sorted into Slytherin. Will Harry find out about the relationship between his enemy and his sister?

IMWWFM: Masterlist

School seemed to be getting worse and worse. You were starting to regret joining the quidditch team, because now you were stuck spending almost every morning practicing.

Not only that but you saw little to no improvement. Staying up late to help Luna with all of the magical creatures around Hogwarts was also starting to take a toll on you.

Going to bed late and waking up early was not a good combo. You were starting to skip meals so that you would have more time to study.

You were now thirteen. This was supposed to be a big step forwards, You were expecting Hogwarts to become more fun. But the only change was your mental health declining.

Your friends were starting to get worried, but you promised them nothing was up. You sleepily walked from the quidditch pitch to your next class, defense against the dark arts.

You liked professor lupin a lot. He was always kind and understanding. When you got to class you sat in your usual seat between Ginny and Neville.

They both noticed how eerily tired you were. You were zoning in and out of consciousness and couldn't pay attention to a thing Lupin was saying.

You had fallen asleep at some point and didn't notice when class was dismissed. "Miss Potter, should I be worried?" Professor Lupin questioned in a gentle tone.

"Huh..? Oh. No. Um.." You stuttered out, trying to think of what words to say. Suddenly, in your sleepy state you ask; "Actually, I have a question. Unrelated, but... You said you knew James, right?".

He sighs before responding; "Yes. We were good friends. Why?"

"Do you happen to know who my real parents are? What happened to them?" His face starts to become nervous.

"Yes... I do know... But it's best if you don't" He says with an apologetic voice.

I immediately counter his claim; "if anyone should know it's me! I need to know... Please?".

He looked at you sadly. "Your mother died. And your father... He's a horrible man. You wouldn't want to know".

You were starting to get nervous, but your curiosity couldn't be killed that easily. "But I do want to know!"

He side once more and put his hand to his forehead, obviously getting annoyed. "Your father... Is 'the heir of Slytherin'... You-know-who... I'm sorry, YN".

The look of shock on your face would concern anyone who walked by. He explained that your father had disowned you because of your gender. James thought he could give you a better chance at life and immediately found you and adopted you as a baby.

This all just made everything worse. Not only were you sorted into Slytherin but you were the daughter of Voldemort. The most evil man you could think of.

You hated crying, it made you feel gross. But you cried all the night. You have rethought everything about yourself.

Did Draco know this already? There had been rumors about you being voldemort's daughter, but you just thought they were crazy.

There was another boy who was rumored to be voldemort's son. Mattheo was it? You wondered if he was actually related to Voldemort as well.

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wheretheharekissesthefox · 4 months

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The place where we belong

Halsin returns to Waterdeep and is greeted by Astarion. They start to talk - secrets (and feelings) are revealed.

(Trigger warning (18+): graphic description of sex, smut, body worship, consensual blood drinking, fellatio, frottage, mentioning of past non-con/rape, fluff, the feels, character study)

Notes:

I used official D&D/Forgotten Realms maps to pinpoint the locations of Gale's tower house. The maps can be found here , here, and here.

A few other fanfics (Tav’s gift, Tav’s sex parade – Chapter 8: Just in time for dinner, Why do you make me feel this way? - Chapter 13: Contentment) are mentioned.

To avoid confusion: In one of my other fanfics Halsin and Tav had named the owlbear cup Naïlo, which means 'night breeze' in the Elven language.

Halsin's quasi-official last name's based on this tumblr post.

According to DnD lore, elves reach their physically maturity at 25 and their mental maturity at around 100. This is also the time, when they get a new, 'adult' name.

According to DnD lore, elves don't sleep, but rest in a meditative, trance-like state called reverie. You can see Astarion (and your Elven Tav) do exactly that in camp during a long rest when a sleep-around-the-campfire cutscene plays.

Halsin closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The spring air smelled fresh and slightly sweet even in the City of Splendors. It probably helped that Gale's tower house was located right next to the sea and Mount Waterdeep. Halsin knocked at the door, heart thumping against his breastbone. He smiled when Astarion opened it and looked up at him.

"Oak Father, preserve you, Astarion. How are you?"

"Hello, druid, I'm doing fantastic. And you?"

"It's good to be back. Can I come in?"

"Of course."

The vampire spawn stepped aside and waved Halsin inside. The latter chuckled amused, entered the tower house, took his boots off, and dropped his bags with a relieved sigh.

"Where's everyone?" he asked.

Astarion leaned against the door frame casually, arms crossed and hip canted to the side.

"Well, as you know, a lot of things have changed. Shadowheart became a high priestess of Selûne, Gale teaches at the Blackstaff Academy now, and our beloved bard's travelling around North Faerûn again, singing her heart out. It's just you and me, darling."

"I see. I'm glad you're here even though you can walk in the sun again," smiled Halsin.

Astarion smiled back.

"Are you hungry?"

"I wouldn't say no to a meal."

"Tea?"

"Would be appreciated, thank you."

"Come on then," lilted Astarion and turned towards the kitchen, but before Halsin could follow him, Scratch and Naïlo barged into the entrance hallway, barking and hooting. With a laugh, the druid distributed some well-deserved affection. When they finally had their fill, the dog and the owlbear scuttled back into the living room. Only now, Tara made her appearance.

"Welcome home, Mister Silverbough," she purred, slinking closer to receive chin scratches.

"Hello, Tara. It's nice to be back," smiled Halsin and provided her the volitional caresses.

Astarion choked on air he didn't need to breathe in.

"You have a last name?!"

Halsin blinked at him dumbly.

"... yes?"

"I thought you're just Halsin. You know, Halsin the druid and so on, but you have a family name?"

"Doesn't... everyone?"

"Gods! I'm shocked." Theatrically, Astarion placed a hand on his heart. "Are there even more secrets I need to be informed about?"

The addressed stayed silent for a while, then he said quietly: "I don't have an adult name. Just like you."

The vampire spawn stared at him wide-eyed.

"You don't? Halsin..." His voice broke and his hand shook as he touched the druid's arm. "Why not? What happened?"

Halsin swallowed thickly, averting his eyes from the intense ruby-red gaze.

"My... my parents died before I hit Elven Maturity. It felt wrong to get rid of the name they gave me. It would have been like throwing away a gift."

"I'm sorry," Astarion whispered sincerely.

The druid nodded.

"So am I. But other than me, you had no choice. You got turned into a spawn when you were only thirty-nine. It would have been another sixty-one years before your coming-of-age celebration."

Astarion barked a bitter laugh.

"As it turns out, I rarely had a choice in life."

"And I'm sorry about that."

Astarion bristled at the softness of Halsin's eyes and the sincerity of his words. 'Don't pity me,' he wanted to snarl, but he didn't. He knew it wasn't pity but compassion. He took a deep breath and calmed the storm that raged inside him.

"Thank you. For everything," he said and Halsin nodded, smiling understandingly.

"I'll make tea," Astarion remarked, rushing into the kitchen to hide his traitorous teary eyes.

Halsin followed him, surprisingly light-footed and silently for his height and width. The vampire spawn placed the sandwich tray on the table without looking at him.

"Astarion," the druid spoke softly. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing!" the addressed snapped. "Everything's fine. Mind your own business!"

Halsin took hold of Astarion's shaking hands.

"Why are you in distress? Tell me, little vampire."

The addressed shivered and finally looked up at the wood elf.

"I - I hate it. I hate that I never had a choice. I'm stuck with my child name – my child name – forever! I'm a member of the Ancunin family, godsdammit, I was promised great things: a dignified name, a powerful position in politics, wealth, respect. And I got fangs, red eyes, and fragile immortality instead! It wasn't my choice. I never had a choice!"

Now, tears were running down his cheeks.

"Don't you get it, druid? I'm jealous of you! You kept your name because you wanted to. You had a choice I never had. And now, look at you: the great druid Halsin Silverbough. Dignified and distinguished. And all I am is a spawn."

"Now, now," Halsin murmured, gently wiping Astarion's tears away with his thumbs. "Why so bitter about your faith? I know how unfair life was to you, how much pain and horror you had to endure, but that lies in the past. Just look at you and how wonderful you turned out even after everything you went through. Or maybe because of it. You're extraordinary, Astarion. You have such a big heart and you're so good, little vampire."

The addressed sobbed, squeezing his eyes shut. The druid's words hurt, downright burned in his chest, and he felt the bitterness eat at him like acid.

Halsin's thumbs brushed over his wet cheeks again. So gently. Too gently. Astarion wanted to scream and rip the other elf's throat out.

"May I kiss you?" Halsin whispered, and even though his entire body wanted to kill instead of kiss, Astarion nodded with a sob.

Halsin's mouth was soft and undemanding. He just brushed their lips together gently before pulling back and wrapping Astarion into a hug. The latter sighed. The druid was so warm, soft and firm at the same time, and utterly unthreatening. The vampire spawn melted into his arms and started to calm down. He only let go of Halsin when the water threatened to boil over. Reluctantly, Astarion stepped back and brew tea. Lavender, of course. The druid touched his tense shoulder.

"Feeling better?"

Astarion nodded.

"Drink your tea and eat your meal," he ordered.

With a small smile, Halsin obeyed and sat down at the table. While he devoured the first sandwich, generously topped with salted butter, cucumber slices and garden cress, the vampire spawn went to the bathroom to splash some cold water in his puffy face. He felt a bit ashamed about his emotional outburst and scolded himself an idiot for telling the druid about his true feelings. He wished for the ground to open up and swallow him whole. Astarion took in a shuddering breath – still always breathing even though there was no need for it – and willed himself to calm down.

"Astarion?"

"Give me a minute!"

He exhaled, opened his eyes, and look into the mirror above the sink. All he saw was his white shirt and his black leather trousers. And all he could conclude from it was what he already knew by looking down at his body: he was skinny. Astarion left the bathroom. Halsin looked troubled.

"I'm fine," the vampire spawn sighed. "Stop worrying and eat up."

Lost in thought, the druid gazed at the half-eaten sandwich in his hands – triple cheese – before, finally, finishing it with gusto. Astarion watched him fondly.

"Gale made a lingonberry jam pie. Do you want some?"

Halsin's eyes went wide, sparkling with joy, and the vampire spawn laughed.

"That's a yes, I wager."

He got up, grabbed the pie, and cut off a big slice. Then, he slid the plate over to the druid and handed him a fork. Halsin moaned at the first bite. The tartness of the berries and the sweetness of the sugar were perfectly balanced with the exotic spices in the crust.

"Yes, yes. Gale's a god in the kitchen, I know," teased Astarion and the druid nodded, still chewing.

"Delicious," the latter sighed then, shovelling more of the pie into his mouth.

Chuckling, the vampire spawn observed him. When Halsin had emptied his plate, he leaned back with a satisfied sigh and a stupid smile on his face. Astarion was in the mood to play the good host, refilled the druid's teacup, and washed the dishes.

Afterwards, they moved into the living room and joined the animals in front of the crackling fireplace. Contently, Halsin stretched out like a cat on a hot tin roof and cracked his knuckles, leaning against Naïlo's large, feathery flank. Astarion sat down next to him, avidly petting Scratch's ears. The dog's tail thumped against the carpet as he grumbled happily. Lazily, Halsin turned his head around and stated: "If you want, you can drink from me, little vampire."

Astarion froze, a shiver running down his spine at the pet name. He locked eyes with the druid.

"Really?" he breathed.

Halsin nodded with a smile. The vampire spawn licked his lips in anticipation and crawled towards the druid. He remembered how Halsin's blood got him drunk every time like a bear's. He still wondered why that was. Maybe it was an elf thing, but Astarion hadn't had the chance to test said theory yet.

"This is only our third time," he purred. "It's still exciting, isn't it?"

Smiling, Halsin stroke Astarion's cheek.

"It always is, little vampire."

He got off Naïlo and lay down on the floor instead. Astarion crawled on top of him, already salivating. With mirth dancing in his hazel eyes, Halsin whispered: "Be gentle."

"Anything for you, darling."

Astarion made a show of opening his mouth and presenting his sharp fangs, slowly running his tongue over his teeth. He felt smug when Halsin shuddered underneath him. It was a heady feeling to dominate such a hunk of a man. Astarion felt powerful and was, to his own surprise, utterly turned on and hard. He bent down to lick a broad strip across the druid's neck who's pulse was hammering under the suntanned skin. Astarion placed a gentle kiss there before biting down. Halsin gasped when the vampire spawn's fangs pierced his skin and icy cold numbness flooded the affected area of his neck like an anaesthetic. Astarion couldn't hold back the moan as the first gush of rich blood hit his palate. It tasted so different from other people's, almost animalistic in a way, and Astarion loved it. He swallowed another mouthful greedily and Halsin arched up into him, hips bucking.

"Astarion," the druid moaned, burying his fingers in the silver-white curls.

As an answer, the addressed slid his knee between the other man's legs and pressed his thigh into his crotch. Halsin moaned, rutting against the offered friction. He already was embarrassingly close. He could feel – and hear – how Astarion sucked his blood to the surface and gulped it down. Goosebumps spread over his skin and his thick legs trembled. Halsin deliberately stroke Astarion's pointy ear – a most intimate gesture in Elven culture – rolled his hips up, and panted: "My little vampire."

Astarion moaned into his neck, still feeding from him, and his fingernails dug deeper into the druid's chest. Halsin's eyes rolled back in his head and he climaxed with a loud, guttural moan. He felt lightheaded.

Maybe Astarion had taken too much of his blood this time, he thought, but didn't really care because he was too blissed out.

The vampire spawn finally drew back, panting and with his pupils blown wide.

"Amazing," he slurred. "Delicious. Delectable."

Halsin tugged at the laces of Astarion's trousers.

"Let me. Please."

The vampire spawn closed his eyes with a moan and nodded. Hastily, the druid fumbled the trousers down his pale, skinny legs. But Astarion flinched when Halsin's hand ran over his rear to help get the item of clothing off.

"I won't touch you more than necessary," the druid promised.

Panting, Astarion nodded and did his damn best to keep himself up on his arms.

They weren't intimate with each other. Ever. The only exceptions had been that foursome they'd had with Tav and Shadowheart which had made Astarion incredibly uncomfortable, and the other time had been when he'd first fed from Halsin almost five years ago. There had been a few sweet, chaste kisses in between, but nothing else. Astarion had never wanted anything else.

Now though, he moaned when the druid wrapped his hand around his member and started to stroke. The position wasn't favourable and Halsin's arm was at a weird angle, but he was experienced enough to make it work. He was sure that Astarion wouldn't approve if he'd flip them over. Thus, Halsin let the vampire spawn have the upper hand – at least, he gave him the illusion of it. Carefully, the druid stroke the vampire spawn's erection, spreading precum around, and rubbing his thumb over the glans. Astarion whined, lips still smeared with blood. His arms shook, saliva started to drip down from the corner of his mouth. If Halsin had been younger, he would have felt smug, but since he was over three hundred and fifty years old, he was simply enjoying making his partner feel good.

Heavy-lidded, the druid looked up at the trembling vampire spawn and another, new desire rose.

"Astarion, let me taste you. Please."

The addressed moaned and went cross-eyed.

"I… can't. Aah... Gods..."

"Please, little vampire. Let me suck you off."

Astarion's hips stuttered, his arms gave out and he landed face-first on top of Halsin's heaving chest. The latter caressed the vampire's spawn prominent hip bone.

"Sit on my face."

"Can't. My legs feel like overcooked noodles."

"May I turn you onto your back then?"

Astarion stayed quiet for a moment, only panting and twitching.

"Alright," he finally muttered.

Halsin reacted immediately, grabbing Astarion's waist, rolling them over, and swallowing his cock down to the root. Astarion cried out, almost jack-knifing off the floor. Halsin hummed, kept sucking him off, and stroke his pale thighs soothingly.

"F... uck!" Astarion whined.

He bucked his hips up one more time and came down Halsin's willing throat. The druid drank it all with relish. He hadn't had such a good cock in months. With closed eyes, he swallowed again and licked his lips.

"Gods above," Astarion wheezed, surprised about the intensity of his orgasm. He hadn't even hidden in his head. There had been no time. He definitely did not squeak when Halsin gently pulled his foreskin down and slurp at the head. Astarion's leg kicked out involuntarily.

"Off," he groaned, overwhelmed by the heat of the druid's mouth on his sensitive, spent member.

Halsin immediately complied and licked his fingers clean.

"My seeds aren't honey, you know?" the vampire spawn joked weakly.

"True. But you taste good nonetheless," the druid replied.

It made Astarion whimper and his cock twitch.

"Come here, druid," he said, opening up his arms.

The addressed embraced the vampire spawn and rolled onto his back to position his partner on top of him. He didn't want Astarion to feel suffocated. The latter hummed in appreciation and kissed Halsin as a thank you. Their tongues slid along each other, cold against hot, the taste of blood and cum mingling. Halsin slurped on Astarion's tongue before releasing it and sleepily smiling up at him. The vampire spawn sighed and lay his head onto the druid's chest. They rested like this, slipping in and out of reverie.

Halsin caressed Astarion's arm. Suddenly, he said: "I know one should not poke a bear, but your name is beautiful."

The vampire spawn smiled a little.

"Thank you. So is yours."

After a moment of comfortable silence, the druid mumbled: "There's another secret I haven't told you yet. After losing my parents, I always wished to belong somewhere again. Sure, I had the village community and later the Grove, but... I never felt like I truly belonged there. I always felt like a stranger. But now... here... I finally found a place where I belong. Tav, Shadowheart, Gale, you. Even Lae'zel, Karlach, and Wyll. I love you all, and you gave me a place in your family. I feel like I finally belong again. After decades, no, centuries. I'm grateful for it."

Astarion stayed quiet for a while, playing with Halsin's shirt while contemplating his reply.

"I feel the same. Cazador called us a family, but that's not what we were. I was lost, scared, bitter. And then, I found Tav. Our beautiful, good-hearted Tav. And I fell for her. Deeply. She brought us all together, believed in the good in us. Helped me heal. Helped me find the parts of myself again that had been lost for two centuries. And now, I belong. We all do. This is the place where we belong."

A smile spread over Halsin's face and he stroke Astarion's curls while he answered: "It truly is."

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #fanfic #astarion #astarion ancunin #halsin #halsin silverbough #scratch #owlbear cup #naïlo #tara #tara the tressym #astarion x halsin #smut #mind the trigger warning #character study

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