#but my point stands that you can't do any harm by Checking

[sergle]

btw while I’m still being annoying, my favorite example to bring up in the “hygiene products that you can just pick up off the shelf at the store can have KNOWN carcinogens in them” conversation is coal tar. This one’s still crazy to me. It’s used in anti-dandruff products for its “anti-inflammatory and antimicrobial properties" but it’s also LIKE. a hazardous substance... but it can still go in your shampoo bc “aww but it’s only SOME poison, it’s not like, a LOT of poison, so we can still sell it and it’s ok”

#BUT IT'S STILL OKAY TO PUT IT IN PRODUCTS... WE'RE NOT PULLIN THIS ONE OFF SHELVES? #like there are OTHER. antidandruff products. GIRL. #also this same product also has a blue dye in it. that ALSO. HAS. A CANCER RISK ON IT #you don't even NEEEEEED THE DYE. shampoo doesn't NEED pigment in it AT all #at least with coal tar they go aww but what if your scalp is itchy! then maybe it's worth skin cancer #okay but is the goo being blue THAT important? crazy crazy #sergle.txt #like you can GO to walmart. pick up a product called Therapeutic Dandruff Shampoo #and use it bc your scalp is itchy and flaky #and you don't know that there's Multiple ingredients in it that are known cancer risks #and several other ingredients that are irritants #which. you're trying to NOT be itchy right? #why would you assume that something innocuous like that could be harmful? well you wouldn't! #bc you shouldn't have to. #but my point stands that you can't do any harm by Checking #There are absolutely NO warnings on the packaging that this has any health risk WHATSOEVER #it just says how therapeutic and soothing and helpful it'll be for you #and you're like that's great! time to buy #how is anyone supposed to know until someone tells you?

[russos-ventitre]

alessia russo x reader | 23 weeks 🧸

✘ summary: alessia has become very protective of you ever since you got pregnant

✘ warnings/tags: fluff, pregnant!reader, wag!reader, caretaker!alessia, protective!alessia, future milfs

✘ words: 2917

a/n: inspired by ohgrays post

It was a cozy morning, well for one of you, it was, yourself on the other hand were feeling like utter shit. Tossing and turning throughout the night, unable to get comfortable, and constantly feeling sick. Soft arms trying their best to comfort you as you managed maybe 30 minutes of sleep.

"Baby..?" The blonde called out, fingers tracing your slightly protruding stomach. "..do you want me to call Jonas and tell him I can't make it today..?" She offered, knowing full well you were exhausted and wanting to take care of you.

"It's fine Less.." You waved her off, feeling her hands gently pulling your body into her front. "..I don't wanna be a burden." You sighed, not sure how much longer you'll be able to hold this conversation for since the exhaustion was hitting you particularly hard, making your eyelids extremely heavy.

"Nonsense baby.." She hushed, pulling you closer, pressing a kiss to the nape of your neck.

"Less I don't want you missing training because I barely got any sleep last night."

"But you're tired and need to be taken care of, plus I'm gonna end up missing training at some point." She protested.

"Yeah, but that's like when I'm heavily pregnant babe, not days where I'm mildly exhausted." You quipped, hearing her groan in response.

"Fine. But I'm making you coffee and breakfast and I'm having my mum check on you today at least twice."

"Alessia!" You grumbled.

"Hey! Don't Alessia, me, young lady. I'm trying to take care of you!" She grumbled back.

"Oi! You're only 7 days older than me.. don't soak it up too much grandma." Your comment earned you a light slap to your arm, which was then followed by an apologetic kiss to the area affected.

"Sorry.."

"The baby's fine, Less.. I assure you that your daughter wasn't harmed by the light tap you just- oh.." You paused in your tracks, feeling faint movements from within your stomach, your eyes going wide.

"I-I think she just kicked.."

"What?!" Alessia shot up from her position, leaning over your body to watch your stomach, a hand coming to delicately hold it. She waited, seconds, minutes, silence. After what felt like the longest few minutes of her life the baby finally responded, kicking lightly at your stomach as the striker held both your hands there. Her eyes welling up slightly at the feeling, looking down at you as her heart melted.

"I can't wait to meet our little girl.." She sighed happily, pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

"Me too Less.."

The older girl carefully slid out of bed, extending her arms out to help you get up. You shaking your head but grabbing her hands nonetheless. "Baby I'm 23 weeks pregnant, I can still mostly function as usual."

"I know but I still want to take care of you." She pouted, placing a hand on the small of your back as she guided you to the bathroom.

The blonde was quick to brush her teeth, doing so as you used the toilet just mere inches next to her, the taller girl insistent that you hold her hand as you did so, only letting go to wipe. She took her caretaker duties very seriously ever since the news broke that you were pregnant, never letting you out of her sight unless completely necessary and never too far away so that she could hold you tenderly.

Once you finished it was your turn to brush your teeth, your wife standing behind you and holding up your stomach as you did so, hoping that it would bring you some sort of relief as you continued your task.

"You're cute." You pressed a kiss to her cheek, feeling her continue to hold your stomach up as you washed your face.

"Non farmi arrossire." [Don't make me blush.] She mumbled pressing soft kisses to your back and shoulders.

"I'm gonna put her down now, okay baby?" The blonde stated, placing a final kiss to your shoulder, looking at you in the mirror

You nodded, blush taking over your entire face as she carefully released your bump from her grip.

Alessia guided you to the kitchen, helping you get comfortable in your seat as she made you coffee, followed by breakfast, pretty much being a pro at being able to guess your weird food cravings by now.

"Thank you, my love." You hummed, happily eating your meal as she pressed a kiss to your temple, settling herself down next to you, and pulling your chair so it was situated between her legs so she could stroke your back.

"Anything for you." She hummed back, her manicured nails tracing down your back, hitting all the right spots that would make you melt for a few short minutes.

"Right. You stay here.." The blonde pressed a kiss to your cheek, standing up. "..while I pop upstairs and get ready for training."

She sprinted upstairs, quickly doing her hair and makeup for the day, slipping on her training kit, which always did things to you, especially the vest top, and ran back downstairs. Your eyes went wide and your jaw damn near dropped as she entered the room again, your eyes tracing the curves of her biceps as she smiled at you.

"Everything okay?" Alessia asked innocently, mostly curious if she missed anything happen whilst she was upstairs.

You could've said 'yes', very easily but that was so far from the truth. The thing is, being pregnant meant a lot of things, a lot of things you expected and a lot that you didn't. You knew about the hormonal changes you were going to face but nothing could quite prepare you for the hot and bothered part of those hormonal changes that you had been recently facing. You licked your lips hungrily, eyes flicking between her arms, then to her toned thighs, then back to her beautiful eyes.

"-baby?"

"Hmm?" You shook your head, snapping yourself out of your trance of thoughts that you really shouldn't be having in your second trimester.

"You okay? You appear to be burning up." Her strong hand came to feel your forehead, checking if everything was alright.

"Y-Yeah.. just hot flashes s'all." You answered quickly, hoping that she would stop noticing your very obviously flustered self.

Alessia grabbed her packed breakfast that she had made herself, alongside her to-go coffee. She slipped on her trainers, slung her kitbag over her shoulder and grabbed her keys.

"You sure you'll be okay today?" She asked a final time.

"I'll be fine babe, promise." You reassured, pulling her into a hug, feeling her chin rest on your head. She pressed a delicate kiss to your forehead before pulling away.

"I love you." She smiled, giving you a light wave with only three of her available fingers.

"I love you more, Less." You blushed, watching as she climbed into her Mercedes and drove off.

less 🤍✨ [8:38]: how are things amore? x

less 🤍✨ [8:38]: hows baby? xx

[y/n] 💕🌸 [8:39]: less youve only just left

less 🤍✨ [8:39]: so?

less 🤍✨ [8:39]: that didnt answer my question

[y/n] 💕🌸 [8:39]: babys fine i promise xx

less 🤍✨ [8:39]: good xx

less 🤍✨ [8:42]: oh i forgot

less 🤍✨ [8:42]: mum'll be there around 10:30 xx

[y/n] 💕🌸 [8:42]: alright x

You were standing in the kitchen when you heard a knock on your door.

Carol.

You padded your way to the front door, unlocking it to be greeted by Alessia's mother.

"[y/n] sweetheart! How have you been? How's the little one?" The older woman asked as she pulled you into a hug.

"Hi Carol." You hummed, happily accepting her soft hug. "I've been good, not much sleep but otherwise I've been fine."

"That's good, sweetheart."

The two of you continued your conversation into the kitchen, Carol immediately taking over and preparing tea in the kitchen.

"Oh. You don't have to do that Carol." You tried waving her off as you leaned your aching body over the kitchen island.

"Please, I insist." She smiled, making a cup for each of you.

"So.." She started, handing you your cup. "..whens the due date?" The blonde took a sip, awaiting your answer.

"Oh umm.." You paused, looking down at your bump with a smile, wagering a guess.

"..I think we were told end of January, beginning of February?"

"She might share a birthday month or day with you and Less then." She smiled, sipping more of her drink.

"Yeah." You blushed. "Probably one of the best birthday gifts you can get, huh?"

less 🤍✨ [11:08]: hi my baby xx

less 🤍✨ [11:08]: how are things? xx

[y/n] 💕🌸 [11:08]: everythings been great less xx

[y/n] 💕🌸 [11:08]: your mum has been taking care of me dont worry love xx

less 🤍✨ [11:09]: i miss you [y/n/n] 

[y/n] 💕🌸 [11:09]: i miss you more baby

[y/n] 💕🌸 [11:09]: home soon? x

less 🤍✨ [11:09]: yea not much longer now xx

Carol continued to keep you company up until tea time, both of you losing track of time as she conversed with you and helped you with some work around the house. It was nice to have the company and it was even nicer bonding with her mother. Seeing where the blonde got all her charm from and her sweetness really made your heart melt.

A little after 12, the both of you were pulled out of your little bubble, heads turning in the direction of rattling keys outside your front door.

"Baby! I'm home!" Your wife shouted, you turning your head in her direction as you walked towards the front door.

"You're home early." You sighed, not at all complaining as you melted into her arms.

"Yeah well.. perks of having a pregnant wife I guess." She teased, pressing a kiss to your head.

"What? You told Jonas?"

"Kidding. Jonas wanted us all to rest before our game tomorrow, he dismissed us early. Although for future reference I might use that.." The blonde smirked, watching as you blushed below her, noting how you'd definitely take her up on that deal.

"Hi, mum!" She called out, waving to the woman behind you.

"Took care of my girls I see?"

You nodded against her chest, feeling her arm rest on your shoulders pulling you in closer.

"Yeah. It was a lovely day actually." Her mother replied with a smile.

"Good." The striker hummed.

The Following Day...

Alessia drove the two of you to the stadium, it being close by since it was a home game at the Emirates. Her hand firmly resting on your thigh, tracing light shapes into the material of your trousers. Sometimes it occasionally trailed its way up your bump, lightly caressing it, your hand coming to rest on top of hers, blushing at the soft gesture.

“Gonna score for my girls today.” The blonde hummed, leaning over to press a kiss to your bump whilst she was stopped at the red light. 

You giggled softly, pulling her hand up to kiss it. “We’ll be cheering you on, Less.” 

“Tesori miei.” [My loves.] She sighed, her hand resuming its original position on your thigh. 

The striker helped you out of the car, escorting you through the crowds to you seat, not all taking note of the fans that were surprised by her appearance in the stands, normally not one to ignore them but you were pregnant and thats all she was focused on. Only looking at you, taking your hand in her own, cupping your back, and holding you close as she helped you get seated. You were her priority, nothing else mattered at the moment.

“Honey, I’m okay, honestly.” You shushed her, the blonde not ready to let go of your hands yet.

“Go.. you need to be with your team.” Trying to push her in the direction of the locker room. 

Alessia pouted, giving you a squeeze to your hands, leaning in slowly to press a kiss to your cheek then to your lips, witnessing your cheeks blush when she pulled away.

“I love you."

"I love you, my star girl." You lightly brushed your thumb over her cheek, seeing her blush the same way that you'd been, a soft smile tugging at her lips.

The match against Aston Villa had finally ended after 94 minutes, seeing your wife wave to the fans in gratitude after the game ended. The well-known blonde striker immediately making a beeline for you, jumping over the barrier, she was instantly by your side.

"Hi, my love." She beamed, absolutely ecstatic to see you after a difficult game.

"Hi, Lessibear." You smiled back, knowing that pet name made her weak in the knees.

Her hand came to gently hold your stomach, the other resting on your shoulder as she leaned in for a kiss, fingers lightly massaging your bump.

"How have my girls been?" The blonde asked shyly, her hand still protectively stroking your bump.

"Good, yeah. Better now that you're here." You sighed, melting into the older girl's touch. The blonde slowly kneeled down in front of you, pressing a soft kiss to your bump, nuzzling her nose up against it. Your heart swooning at the adorable gesture from your wife.

Alessia stood back up, wrapping an arm protectively around your body. "Home?"

You nodded, feeling her press a kiss to your temple, guiding you carefully through the crowd of people. The blonde kept her arm tightly wrapped around you, helping you walk, even though you were perfectly capable in doing so, making your way to the locker room where the rest of the girls were.

She helped you down on the padded bench that was in front of her cubby, having you relax as she packed her things away. A few of her teammates giving you small waves as you waited for Alessia to gather her things.

"Russo! You didn't mention your bird was here!" A thick Irish accent echoed in the locker room, walking towards you both and taking a seat right next to you. "How are ya darlin'?" She asked with a cheesy grin, hand coming to lightly pat your back.

"Easy McCabe.." The blonde warned, a hand reaching out protectively in your direction, her face cringing as the brunette's hand lightly hit your back

"Honey, it's fine." You muttered, giving her a soft smile, your hand reaching for hers, fidgeting with her fingers.

"What? I'm just greeting your girl." The brunette smiled innocently.

"Sorry.. she's just really protective, especially since we found out I was pregnant." You sighed, revealing your bump from behind your coat.

"Oh shit! You've got a wee 'un in there!" She pointed towards your bump, Alessia's head immediately turning her direction again, eyes narrowing.

"How far? Wait- sorry.. is that rude?" The older woman questioned, not really sure how any of this works.

You shook your head in amusement. "No, it's fine. I'm about 23 weeks now, I'll be in my third trimester at the beginning of November." You smiled, seeing your lover relax her shoulders in your peripherals.

"Wow. Can I?" Katie asked, a lot less hyper than she was before, a hand reaching out hesitantly.

You turned to look up at Alessia who smiled and nodded, turning back to the brunette and giving her the 'okay'. Even though it was your bump and your body, Alessia was very protective over it. Having people ask both of your permissions before being allowed to feel your bump. The baby may not have been born yet but your wife certainly acted like she was and it made you hopeful for the future when your daughter finally comes into this world.

"Woah." She sighed, her hand delicately touching your bump, your hand on top of hers.

"Can I be an aunty?" The defender asked excitedly.

"Maybe-"

"We'll think about it." Alessia cut you off, her protective front still very much present as her hand reached for yours, carefully pulling you up to your feet. Your body lightly crashing into her side as her arm wrapped around your figure again, your right hand finding purchase on her chest.

"See you next week McCabe." The striker faintly smiled.

"Bye Katie." You lightly waved, letting the older girl guide you out of the building.

The blonde helped you into her car, pressing a kiss to your forehead before closing the door and entering the driver's side. "Less.." You started, lacing your fingers with hers over the console, her fingers lightly fidgeting with the rings on your fingers.

"Hmm?" She responded, not looking in your direction as she pulled out of the parking lot.

"..I'm okay, you know. The baby's not gonna get hurt just from a few harmless pats. I get you're protective and all and it's really sweet, but you don't need to scare people off."

Alessia gave your hand a squeeze in response, letting out a deep breath before speaking.

"Baby.. I'm just worried about our little girl.." She huffed.

"I think you worry more than me sometimes, Less." You laughed, seeing her face become flush.

"Maybe.." The blonde hummed, the blush now settling into her cheeks. She lifted your interlocked hands to her lips and pressed a soft kiss to the back of your hand, continuing her journey back to your shared home.

a/n: part two? 👀

#alessia russo #alessia russo x reader #alessia russo imagine #woso #woso community #woso fanfics #woso x reader #woso imagines #engwnt x reader #england women #arsenal wfc #arsenal women #england wnt #woso imagine #arsenal x reader #awfc #awfc x reader

[thecampjuicebox]

I always wondered how the romanced companions would react if Orin kidnapped the player character. Any thoughts?

Be prepared for some angst because PHEEEEWWWWW

Astarion

At this point in the story, romanced Astarion and Tav are very close. He even states that Tav is the only person he's ever cared for, so I can imagine he'd be devastated if his beloved was taken by Orin. He'd take a relatively unhinged approach to saving them, running in with fangs bared. Daggers swinging. He'd make quick work of Orin, slicing and dicing to save his love. They've always done so much to save him so he'd feel it was his duty to do the same in this instance. Once he's able to hold them in his arms again, he'd allow himself to cry. Sob, even. He'd hold them close, smooth their hair back, bury his face in their neck to deeply inhale their familiar scent, but not until telling them how stupid they were for allowing themselves to be kidnapped by the shape-changer in the first place.

Karlach

Tav is Karlach's first taste of intimate touch in YEARS. Her first taste of love for as long as she can remember. When she finds out Tav is the one taken by the shape-changer, it would break her. Shatter her into a million burning pieces. Her engine would run hotter than the searing fires of Avernus. She'd yell and spit and grab the nearest bludgeoning object she could to absolutely decimate Orin where she stands. The pale eyed woman has caused enough problems and with Karlach's already crushed morale after seeing Gortash again, she'd go absolutely ape shit. She'd fall to her knees in front of Tav. Hug their legs. Cry as she rubs her nose across their thighs. Cling to them like a child. "Don't ever leave me again, Soldier. I can't bear it."

Wyll

First and foremost Wyll, I think, would be the most level headed in this situation. He'd quickly devise a plan to save his love. The Blade of Frontiers or the Blade of Avernus, either way, he'll prove his heroism and his devotion to Tav. No one lays a finger on his prince/princess. Their Devil in shining armor. He'd make an entrance similar to when Tav first encounters him in the Emerald Grove. Bold and brave, ready to dominate the fight. And once Tav is assured safe, he'd sweet them off of their feet. Shower them in love and praise of their bravery during this traumatic event.

Shadowheart

Shadowheart is very reserved and quiet about her feelings and thoughts. If her love was taken by Orin, I think she'd play calm about it while absolutely losing it inside. She's mentioned previously that she isn't one for romances, more just short lived flings. With Tav, however. It's incredibly different. She'd rally the other companions and rush into Bhaal's temple to find Orin. Slay here right there. And then take Tav into her arms and check them other, make sure the shape-changer caused them no serious harm. If she had, Shadowheart would heal them. Make them feel safe once more.

Lae'Zel

Lae'Zel's love of Tav goes from 0-100 real quick, and hearing that Tav was taken by an enemy, I think she'd LOSE it. Lae'Zel has not known love like her love for Tav. Tav showed her freedom and no one is going to take that away from her now. She's not known to show very intense emotions, but I think she would let herself cry this time. Lae'Zel is trained in combat so taking Orin down would not be a difficult feat with the help of the other companions. Once Tav is safe, she'd embrace them with all of her strength. Hold them close to her as she mumbles softly in their ear "Zhak vo'nfynh duj. Source of my joy."

Gale

Gale is such a soft lover. His prior relationship with Mystra caused a lot of trauma and I think his romance with Tav is his key to being happy again. With himself and in general. Even the threat of having to blow himself up is softened by Tav's presence. "One moment with you could sate me for a lifetime, and prise the fear from my heart." Once he learns that Tav was taken, I know for a fact he'd go into bad bitch mode. He'd storm his little wizard self right into Bhaal's temple and fireball the hells out of Orin before she could get a word in edgewise. Where'd all this courage come from? The lovely idea that after all of this is over and Tav is safe, they can return to the illusory scene of his tower in Waterdeep and reside there whenever the feeling arises. Not without a lecture on why it wasn't the smartest idea to get kidnapped, though.

#bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 headcannons #companion headcannons #gale dekarios #karlach #astarion #wyll ravengard #shadowheart #lae'zel

[ultraviolet-cello]

Gooooood morning Trigun fandom, I'm up bright and early, ready to sink my teeth into today's analysis/detailed watchthrough episode - 11. To A New World.

I can't believe we're almost done with @tristampparty. These 12 days have been a blast and I'm very glad that I got to chat abt them!! I've been in a bout of artblock recently too, so I'm glad that I can just ramble instead!

Spoilers for Trigun Stampede and Trigun Maximum, and CWs for. okay this one is a Lot, but discussion of violation of bodily autonomy, sexual assault and trauma, pregnancy, transphobia, harm coming to children, Millions Knives in general, Vash's passive suicidal tendencies. If I think of any more I'll pop them up here but this episode is a heavy one!

If you wanna skip those first few CWs (Totally understandable <3), you can skip the paragraphs labelled with a [CW] at the front.

[CW] Okay so we're gonna tail off the end of Episode 10 for a second, but uh. Knives in this scene is using extremely Loaded Language to outright tell Vash that there is something wrong with him that needs to be fixed.

Just to be clear I do think Vash is very trans-coded (intentionally or not), and that very strongly influences how I interpret this scene - I myself am a trans man as well.

Cool, moving on! That's all really for the end of ep 10, I just needed to point out that Knives is using language that is commonly used to justify corrective sexual assault; which is pretty much what my reading of this scene is analogous to.

what in the fresh hell i got jumpscared by dub again. returning to subs hold on a moment. Like i've been checking dub occasionally to match up some dialogue and make sure I'm not being misled by Subtitle Jank but I'm one of those guys who can't listen to anything without subtitles lmao

But i also think i do get the funniest possible translation of this line - actually wait no i hate the double meaning (with Vash's body being used to kickstart the pregnancy imagery). was that intentional. who did this.

Anyway Meryl kicking Wolfwood is really funny but also like. Yeah. justified. She's having a no good awful time but like. She's so willing to believe in Vash, to chase after him even into Extremely Dangerous conditions (There's those hints of Trimax Meryl again....) and Wolfwood is being an ass here. (An understandable ass. But an ass nonetheless). Which is to say YEAHHH MERYL GET HIS ASS!!!

Knives' gay little like. bodysuit here. He and Vash have the same build but their respective clothes make them stand out very differently. Also that Knives' stuff seems to have more muscle definition (HYDRATE. You shouldn't have that Knives you need water :pensive:) which could be building towards his more intimidating appearance.

Also I'd be a fool to not show everyone my initial reaction to this

I've talked a little bit about how Vash uses his gun as a tonfa (thwacky baton) most of the time in melee combat, and I think that's a great way to show him utilizing something Knives gave him to Kill as a nonlethal weapon - in this, however, he doesn't have it and his normally very fluid very good form martial arts is flailing and panicked. Vash is pretty good at keeping his cool in most combat situations, and is a very skilled fighter. Seeing him lose that cool and just start struggling when Knives tries to grab him is :(

Once again the metal/organic dichotomy is coming into play - the creation of inorganic but the destruction that comes from the organic. Typically plant (as in flora) powers in media lend themselves to being creation powers, life, and healing. But Vash here has that plant (flora) theme but those are very much a force for destruction.

Also Knives with the angelic white, and Vash with the black.

I hate Conrad So Much (he's such a good character). Like we Know to some extent that dependent plants are self-aware enough to feel pain, to hold onto memories, to hatred, to love. They don't have consciousness the same way humans or Independents do, but they feel, they live, they understand what Vash tells them. Maybe it is a shallow form of themselves. But I think something a lot of people fail to realize is that (some, not all, because they are individuals even throughout a hivemind) plants appear to enjoy their purpose.

Once again the memory that is shared with Knives in Trimax of a woman and her child thanking the plant for her service and she smiles? After being fused, that plant held onto that memory. I've been given no reason to believe that plants in Tristamp are different, so Conrad is just,,, ignoring the subtleties of plants and taking away their agency to choose for themselves. Doubly so for Knives, who can communicate efficiently with them.

A very quick blink and you'll miss it detail is that Vash says "It was our fault humans crashed here!". The shifting blame and guilt between the two is something that is fighting the narrative allll the time, but Vash attributing to both of them as an appeal to Knives is interesting to relay how he feels.

I also don't think Vash is right, though, when he says the only reason humans abuse plants is because they crashed. Tesla was before, Chronica in Trimax has apparently seen independent fusions before (For what reason?). Like yeah to this extent it's a result of the big fall, but there'd still be problems without it. Nobody is right in this argument lmao

(except me. I'm always correct about everything ever)

[CW] Once again - violating Vash's consent and autonomy because he does not agree with or differs from Knives. Corrective violation, in this case. It's also important that it's Meryl who calls this out - she has to really really struggle for her autonomy to be important. She's small, carry-able, inexperienced, doesn't have any special powers or genetic modification. She's carrying a tiny gun from a man who can never back her up anymore. In fact, nobody is backing her up! She's out here alone! But she's sticking up for Vash. She cares about him,,,, so much

SURPRISE ROBERTO ATTACK [sobs]

Meryl pulled the nail out of him and placed his hands gently over the wound, as one might do in a casket. A memorial of cigarettes and his flask. All this will be destroyed soon, but Meryl did give him a funeral to the best of her ability.

Knives using Roberto's image is cruel as hell. Not to Vash but to ME. He's already dead you can't do this to meeee. "How do you think they'll react when they learn you caused the big fall" He will never learn it!! he never got the chance!!!

So fun fact you can actually eat geraniums. It's just that if Rem had said yes Vash probably would have eaten it right there and then. I've made that mistake before (told one of my class that nasturtiums were edible and he just ate one. right from the plant)

So; the Tesla scene. Something I do want to point out is that Rem finds them almost immediately, and Knives doesn't immediately pass out - Is he still catatonic enough to miss Rem's speech, or did he hear it? Because the reason that Vash turned out like he did is because he was awake to go through that with Rem - Knives was unconscious the entire time and didn't get to start that trauma recovery.

It's also important to recognize that these memories could be unreliable, especially as Knives tampers with them later.

I do want to know which version of the Bible Knives was reading. Because depending on translation/version, you can get Very different ideas out of that.

Anyway Knives is kind of beginning his spiral in that memory - "Humanity never learns" kinda shit, which seems to take place after Tesla. Who knows how long. But baby Vash calls that out and goes "yeah lets have faith"! Baby Knives looks a tad shocked and then Present Knives just. Cuts off the memory. What was the ensuing conversation!!! Hello???

Like he's clearly Having Thoughts (The Horror), we just don't get to know what those were.

So remember when I said it was interesting that Vash said it was "our" fault that the ships crashed, sharing the blame?

Yeah that gave Knives some ammo that just. Broke him. Shifts it allllll to Vash. Update Vash's description to running on 18 guilt complexes, CPTSD, and bisexuality.

[CW] There's so many different forms of assault, metaphorical and. Not. That is happening in this scene from mind violation to Knives literally using Vash's (specifically Vash's) body as a vessel to impregnate other plants which. Hey did you know that pregnancy is a massive fear of a lot of trans men. So many transphobes reduce trans men to their capability to have children, as if that's all they're good for (even if it would kill them.), and that often leads to corrective rape in order to "remind them of biological reality". In this case, Vash is a plant, he's meant to create, and yet he doesn't. But he's still being used to create anyway.

Again, Meryl also directly calls out Vash's lack of consent and gets shot down by Conrad. The whole scene is just. Hgnrhgnhrhnrnrn. It's So,,, everything to me, because it's a really good scene and shows you how far gone Knives is in Tristamp.

There are panels in Trimax that are,,, the imagery is there, but it's very overt in Tristamp.

Also hey yeah. Why is Conrad still alive?? Did he have access to cold sleep? or it's probably the robotics but did he not think of enhancing humans that way? It might just be a temporary solution, I guess, given that he is. Actively coughing up blood.

Alright! I have finished this part of the analysis that I always Feel Strongly about lmao - I have fun doing it but that's such an emotionally heavy episode.

#cli speaks #trigun #trigun stampede #tristampparty #cli analysis

[xpeachesncream]

sticks & stones (myg) | one shot

part of the titillating touches collab

♢ genre: (18+) friends to lovers, ex-fwb, mutual pining, massage au | fluff, sprinkle of angst, smut

♢ summary: surprise! you're gifted a free massage at the nearby massage parlor called "Blissful Hands." you've heard about the parlour about once or twice, never thought about stepping foot inside to take advantage of their services. thinking you could use the massage to relax, rid yourself of any stress and built up tension, you walk into the parlor excited for your first massage opportunity. however, when you realize your masseur is no other than Min Yoongi himself, all excitement flies out the window. never did you think you'd reunite with your biggest crush in college, the one that got away. they say sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you— but in this case, you find out that words have actually ruined a lot for you and Yoongi. and stones.. well, they'll do a lot to ease that instead.

♢ pairing: reader x masseur!myg

♢ words: 18.4k

♢ warnings: i did as much research as possible on hot stone massages pls forgive me, mature language/cussing, sexually implied content, sprinkle of angst??, miscommunication, rumors and assumptions, unspoken feelings, awkward reunion lol yoongi isnt really having it at first, oc shoulda tried harder tho oof, he does have a soft spot for oc, drinking/intoxication, flashback scenes, use of pet names like baby and princess, cuddles, after care, making out, unprotected sex, missionary, multiple orgasms, use of oil and hot stones in foreplay, fingering, clit play, slight marking, sprinkle of spit play, breast play, smut on the massage table ://, pulling out, grinding, edited but unedited lolol sorry if i missed anything!

♢ note: thank you so, so much to @ressjeon​ for thinking of me and for inviting me to be a part of this collab! i had tons of fun writing this <33 also, big shoutout again to @ilikemesometaetaes​ & @jimilter​ for this beautiful ass banner! please check out the other works part of this collab, they’re all amazing and won’t disappoint!

—i also wanted to let you all know i’ll be continuing my break and i won’t be as active on here for awhile. i need a moment to rest since i’ve been feeling pretty down and unmotivated lately. just gotta take a moment to shake off this funk. but, i’ll be writing behind the scenes from time to time in between pulling my personal stuff together. 💞

♢ support me!

It's that time of the year again.

It's that time of the year again where your loved ones sweetly greet you, your coworkers shove plans and alcohol in your face because you aren't getting any younger— Immediate family reminding you where you need to be at this point in your life.

Married, with kids, doing some other job that brings in more money.

You know what it is.

No harm, they say. Just a reminder. It's your birthday for fucks sake, and they wanna give you a reminder?

Anywho, you park your car after a long day of work, just now hanging up the phone after your mom and dad had called to greet you [aka bringing up said reminder mentioned above] in the most loving way they can. You know they come from a good place, and you know that they support you either way, so you can't help but give off a tiny sigh and respond with a cute little 'yes, I know but thank you, I love you' in the end. You grabbed your purse and headed up the steps to your apartment, grabbing the mail on the way up without giving it another look as you set it near your keys at the entrance way. You immediately slip out of your heels first, then make your way into the kitchen to wash your tupperware from lunch.

It'll be a quiet birthday, and that's okay with you.

That's how you've always preferred it, anyway. Quiet, lowkey, no surprises—

"Surprise, bitch!" You pick up the call from your bestfriend, slightly bringing the phone away from your ear when you hear her scream on the other end. "Happy birthday to the love of my life and the only person I can stand! Did you open your mail yet? What are you up to today? Who is getting some of that tonight—"

"Hold on just a minute, Rissa." You nervously chuckle. "Thank you, and I love you, but one question at a time, please?" You tuck the phone against your ear with your shoulder as you put your dishes away.

"I'm sorry." She giggles. "You know I love you. I'm just sad I can't be there with you since they have me on this work trip for the month."

"It's okay." You crack a tiny smile. "How is it?"

"It's fine, same old." She sighs. "But this isn't about me, birthday girl. What are your plans?"

"You already know me." You laugh. "Keep it lowkey. Order some good, comforting takeout and pair it with red wine." You plop on the couch and put her on speaker so you can start your next 15 or so minutes just looking for food that you'll end up doordashing over.

"Mkay, really?"

"I don't know why you're so surprised."

"Guess you didn't open your mail."

"The hell is that supposed to mean?" You look towards your entrance way at the stack of envelopes.

"Can you just go and open your mail? I made sure that would get sent with priority." She laughs as you chuckle and shake your head, meandering over to the envelopes you wanted to ignore for the evening at the very least. Well, for the most part, the majority of the envelopes get flipped through and tossed to the back, especially if you already knew none of them necessarily had an urgent deadline.

Alas, you come to Rissa's envelope. Soft pink in color with 'Y/N Y/L/N' in big, bold, black Sharpie on the front— a little drawn heart attached to the end of it.

You take your finger and gently rip the envelope open, revealing a card with a piece of paper in it. You read the sweet message written by your bestfriend before pulling out the paper to read what it consists of:

One free 60 min. massage at Blissful Hands - Applies to all massage types. Redeem Now!

No expiration date.

"A free massage?" You think out loud and Rissa laughs.

"Girl, you need to relax, okay? You're always working so damn hard, you never give yourself a break. I know I had mentioned the parlor before, but I just haven't had the time to take you. I want you to go and treat yourself as my birthday present." She pauses briefly before going on again. "And don't give me that 'with what time' bullshit cause I'm gonna be on your ass until you step foot in that establishment. Trust me. I'll be annoying, you don't want that." You laugh.

"Thank you, Rissa. I love it, seriously. Maybe I could use a day to just do this and nothing else." You flip the coupon in your hand.

"Maybe, yeah." She says sarcastically. "If you aren't gonna use that unlimited PTO benefit, then let me at it."

"You're right." You shake your head. "Fine, I'll go."

"Like, tomorrow."

"No, not tomorrow."

"Before next week, though."

"Yes, damn." You laugh a little louder. "Jeez, you weren't kidding when you said you'd be on my ass."

"No, I wasn't. Besides, I spent the money so that you could have this day be all about self-care."

"Thank you." You repeat. "I love you. And I miss you dearly."

"I miss you, too. I'll be home soon and I'll make sure my first stop is your place."

"Sounds like a plan." You say softly, genuinely missing the company of your bestfriend. "I just hope you're enjoying yourself down there in between work."

"Oh girl, you know I am. Don't you even worry." She chuckles. "Seriously though, take that coupon into the parlor this week, you hear me?"

"I will."

"Mmkay. I'll let you get back to your lowkey birthday celebration. Love you to bits and pieces." She says in a sing-song tone. "By the way, there's more gifts coming your way, they're just delayed."

"What!?"

"Byeeeee!" She laughs and abruptly ends the call. You look at the phone in disbelief before slowly setting it down onto your coffee table. You pick up the coupon and look at it again, suddenly getting the urge to look through your work calendar to see which day you could call off.

No meetings, no agenda, nothing.

Just you, yourself and this massage parlor.

"Why not?" You mutter to yourself as you place the coupon back down and start looking through the rest of the week on your calendar.

You actually don't get the chance to go until closer to the end of the week— a Thursday that most people decide that they want to cancel group meetings or work remotely to focus on other urgent projects. You don't complain though, hell, you quickly put in your time off and don't look back.

That Thursday comes just as quickly as you submitted the time off request, the sun beaming straight into your room and warming your sheets through the sheer blinds. You stretch a bit, arms poking out from underneath the covers as you yawn and try to completely wake yourself up. You figured starting your day at the massage parlor could be good, maybe it'll just get you started on the right foot, maybe it'll get you to do other spontaneous, productive things that you should've done on your actual birthday. Who knows? You were just excited to have the day to yourself with no other obligations and people, emails, deadlines— whatever fucking else comes with corporate— to worry about. You get yourself washed up and ready for the day, throwing on a simple, all black biker shorts and sports bra set. You grab a hoodie in case the day is actually colder than expected, throw on some socks, tie up your sneakers and head out the door.

The establishment isn't too far, and it's nice that it's pretty convenient. You and Rissa both had incredibly busy schedules, it was almost impossible to think about a massage during a normal week at work. If it wasn't for your birthday and for her gift, you aren't entirely sure you'd ever step foot here to take advantage of their services [knowing damn well you could use it, too]. The added bonus now is the convenience and how close it is to other establishments you frequent.

Maybe you might be back after a taste.

When you walk in, it's peaceful, serene, as you expected; soft music played in the background. A lady stood near the front desk, walking the receptionist through something— you weren't entirely sure. They finally turned their attention towards you, the lady standing coming towards you with a smile on her face.

"Hey, welcome in to Blissful Hands!" She smiles. "I'm Yannie."

"Y/N." You give her a small, toothless smile as you tug on the strap of your bag. "I, um—" You flash her the coupon after pulling it out from your jacket pocket. "I have this coupon I wanted to redeem."

"Oh, fantastic! You came at a perfect time, we have lots of availability right now." She grabs some paperwork from behind the desk and walks back over to you as you sit on the clean sofa. "I'll go through these in a bit. But, I wanted to ask. Did you already have a particular type of massage in mind? If not, I can grab a pamphlet and we can go through any questions you might have in regards to our services."

"Hm. Do you guys offer hot stone massages?" Is the first that pops into your mind. It had always been something you wanted to try, especially seeing the ads and the promos at the hotels during work trips and conferences. Plus, you've heard about its benefits through word of mouth. If they were able to offer that here, why not get yourself a free hot stone massage? It might turn out to be exactly what you need.

"We sure do." She chuckles and sits next to you. "Why hot stone, if I may ask?"

"Well, besides the usual response of lowering stress, I just feel like my body is pretty.. tense? Lots of muscle tension, soreness, fatigue. I run a lot, try to get some boxing and pole dancing in. No matter how many times I go, I still feel like it's my first time." You chuckle nervously, afraid you've spilled way too much information than necessary. She didn't even ask. "Sorry, just felt like I needed to add that in there for some reason."

"No, that helps a lot. Thank you." She laughs. "I think that would be a great option for you. Our masseur is one of the most top-rated in the city." You nod, impressed. Were they now? "Here." She hands you a pen. "I just need you to fill out these medical intake forms—" She pushes the form closer to you. "And then sign these liability forms." She follows up with the last forms.

"Sounds good."

"Once you're done, I'll take you to a room to get situated before your masseur comes in." You nod once more, giving her eye contact before continuing your task of filling out the paperwork appropriately. Yannie heads back to support the front desk momentarily until she sees you walking towards her with the completed paperwork. She thanks you, takes the papers and hands it over to the front desk before nodding towards the back. "Follow me, I'll bring you to a room." You quietly follow behind, the back area of the establishment being much bigger than you expected. You pass two rather handsome and attractive males on the way to your room, both of them giving you a bright, white smile before continuing on their way. You make a mental note that maybe, this wouldn't be so bad after all.

A massage and eye candy? Shit, count me the fuck in.

You passed a line of rooms before Yannie turns towards an empty one near the end of the hallway. She lets out a breath for a moment before stepping aside to let you in, showing you to the side of the room where you could place your things.

"Hm, let me go grab your masseur so that you can be on your way, alright? You can place your things here if you'd like, but once he comes in, he'll have you undress down to your underwear and into a robe before getting you on the table." She gives you a smile before walking out and shutting your door. As you stand around awkwardly, you hear her outside asking for your particular masseur, which isn't the problem, but it's the name that catches you off guard—

"Where's Yoongi?" You hear her ask. Yoongi, as in Min Yoongi? You hoped that there was another Yoongi on this planet just to save you from making this session 10x more awkward and weird, but something inside you told you that no, he was the only Yoongi you knew of and that's exactly who this was.

Fuck.

"You have a client, she's in there already." You hear her down the hall, followed by a low 'alright.' Suddenly, the door swings open again and it's Yannie along with the Min Yoongi himself. You're caught off guard that you don't even speak. You simply look at him, eyes full of curiosity, full of question, as he with you. But, he's quick to furrow his brows before slowly walking inside, Yannie catching onto the sudden tension in the air.

"Um, this is Yoongi, your masseur." She clears her throat.

"Sure is." You say, still keeping your eyes on him.

"Have you two met before?"

"Yup." Yoongi says before turning to her with a small smile. "I got it from here boss, thanks." Yannie gives you one last smile before shutting the door and walking down the hallway to continue her previous tasks.

"Well, if you look who it is—" You say sarcastically, placing your things down onto the side. "I didn't know you worked here." You're saying things in a certain tone to make sure Yoongi doesn't see how much you're actually dreading this right now. Because you are, god, you fucking are, and you almost wish you didn't step foot into this establishment and ask for a hot stone massage.

Could've been anything else. You should have done your research before.

"Hm, there's alot of things you don't know about me anymore, Y/N." He says coldly. "Didn't think I'd ever see you here." He starts to look at the papers and gather his things together, his back turned against you.

"Yeah, well. Rissa gave me a birthday coupon." He nods silently. "H-how've you been?" You ask him, awkwardly rubbing at your arm.

"Good as can be." He says flatly before turning to look at you, no emotion to match his blank expression. You look at the way he's changed— his orange, long hair that suited him well, body built perfectly, jaw line shaped with perfection. You're pulled out of your thoughts when he turns once more, pointing towards the back of the room. "Gonna need you to undress and get into the robe. This time, might wanna keep your panties on." He gives you a look, and you aren't sure whether or not he's throwing shade at you for whatever problems you had caused him— you weren't sure. Maybe that's where you went wrong because at one point, you and Yoongi had been close. You and Yoongi had shared everything, you and Yoongi had been everything to each other. He was one of your closest friends, maybe at some points a little too close than friends normally would be, but that was your relationship with him and you both had been on the same page about it. He was always good to you, always taking care of you, always knowing what was best for you over him—

Then, it just.. stopped.

And you clearly never understood where you went wrong. At least, to your knowledge, it wasn't clear where you went wrong.

"Mmkay." Is all you say, heading behind the divider towards the back end of his room to change into the fresh, clean robe hanging on the other side of it. You slip out of your clothes, leaving your panties on as Yoongi ever so respectfully requested, and get the robe on. You tighten the strap, feeling shy around him even though Yoongi has definitely you full blown naked before.

He's touched you.

He's kissed you.

He's handled you.

It's been years, though.

"Get on the table face down, please. I'll start off with your back." He turns to you, meeting your eyes but nothing more. He's always been this way, he's always been hard to crack. You were just lucky you were able to at some point.

You do as you're told, slipping the robe off of you and tossing it aside when Yoongi turns around to give you some privacy. You lay face down onto the table, suddenly feeling Yoongi place a clean linen cloth to cover your sacrum and below. He looks at you for a minute because even though it's been awhile, he remembers everything about you, your body. He remembers the tiny mole right below your left shoulder blade, remembers the scar on your knee. He remembers where your spots used to be, where you liked to be touched, kissed.

He lets out a small huff before shaking his head at the thoughts that start to occupy his mind. There's soft music playing in the background to help ease the energy in the room, to help relax you and soothe you. And it does. Everything feels peaceful for a moment that you almost forget you're about to get a massage by Yoongi himself until—

"You ready? I'm gonna start with your back. Let me know if the stones get too hot for you." He says, dimming the lights just a bit, lighting some candles and incense.

"Mhm." You mumble. You hear Yoongi digging the stones out of the water bath, placing them gently on a towel in front of him before grabbing the oil and lathering his hands.

"I'm gonna start, alright? Gonna oil you up first." He says, his large, strong hands manually giving your back a good massage with the oil to introduce his touch, get your tissues warmed up. You immediately feel relaxed under his touch, all tension seemingly disappearing into thin air. He feels you ease up underneath him, hands with the magic touch you could almost call him Midas.

/ FLASHBACK

"Fuck." You giggle into Rissa's shoulder, red cup empty after the second, third, sixth [who fucking knows at this point] drink of the night.

"So drunk." She giggles along with you, sipping on water.

"God, I'm getting over this party though." You turn to look at your surroundings. "Look, literally no one is dancing anymore. Everyone is just standing around talking or—" You snort when you see one of your friends slumped on the couch. "Slumped."

"It's almost that time of the night, miss. We're crossing into 1AM."

"Ugh, I need to take my drunk ass home."

"No, you need Yoongi to take your drunk ass home." She lifts your chin to get you to look at her but you pout.

"You're not going home, huh?" You ask her, already knowing she was going to spend the night at her boyfriend's apartment.

"Mm, you know this." She laughs. "Your girl needs dick. Bad."

"Whatever."

"Saying it like you don't have the same fucking thought. Shame." She gives you a look.

"Where is heeeeee?" You elongate the 'he,' lip forming into another pout as you drunkily close your eyes.

"Your man's over there." She nods towards the living room, Yoongi standing along the wall with a few of his friends.

"He's not my man."

"Mm." She looks at you up and down. "Go over there before I have more shit to say." You laugh and start making your way over to Yoongi, immediately wrapping your hand around his wrist, chin resting against his bicep.

"You okay?" Yoongi chuckles at how adorable you look.

"Drunk. Just.. drunk."

"I see that." He moves his arm to drape it over your shoulders and pull you close. "Wanna get out of here?"

"Fuck, yeah. Please."

"Where to?"

"Home." You look at him and he nods. The both of you bid your farewell's to his friends before tossing your empty cups and heading out. Yoongi had one drink earlier in the night, but he had been sipping on soda onwards throughout the evening simply because he knew you needed him to take you home. In fact, he would rather let you have the time of your life and watch you have your fun instead of him. He loved seeing that side of you, loved seeing you full of life, full of fun.

It's what attracted him to you the most.

"You okay, princess?"

"Yeah, just wanna get the fuck out of these shoes." He laughs.

"Okay, almost there." He says, kissing your temple. When you finally head down the street to the car, Yoongi gets you situated in the seat before heading to the driver's side and getting himself situated. "You're not gonna yack, are you?" He laughs when he starts driving off towards your apartment.

"No, I'm fine. God." You roll your eyes and lean your head back against the head rest.

"I'm just playing, baby." He says, large hand roaming to your thigh and giving it a good squeeze. You let out a small whimper at his touch, Yoongi smirking to himself when he knows exactly what that means. "Gonna get you some water and make sure you sleep this shit off, I don't wanna hear you complain tomorrow."

"When do I ever complain?"

"All the fucking time, dude." He laughs. "Damn. You're lucky I like you." He quickly caresses your chin. The rest of the ride is quiet, nothing but the soft music playing in the background in his car, the sounds of cars passing by along with the train running through the tracks nearby your apartment building. He parks in a guest spot that's quite far, offering to carry you up to your apartment if you feel too tired. You let him know you're alright though, lacing your fingers with his as you make your way to your door. He grabs your keys, unlocks the door and watches as you stumble in and hurriedly get out of your shoes— tossing them off to the side messily.

"Thank God, ugh." You groan, falling face down onto your comfortable, comfortable bed. You hear Yoong in your kitchen, grabbing you a glass of water and going through your medicine cabinet before walking in to your room and shutting the door behind him.

"Here. Drink some water, please."

"And if I don't?" You tease, still face down against your pillow.

"I'll leave."

"That was unfair." You say, slowly sitting up to drink some of the water. His hand caresses your back as you drink, watching to make sure you get a good amount of water in you before you set the glass back down. Once you do, you immediately get to removing your clothes, tossing them aside and crawling under your sheets in just your bra and panties.

"You wanna sleep? You don't wanna stay up for a bit?" He says, grabbing the pair of basketball shorts he left behind in your closet so he can change into something comfier.

"And do what?"

"You're gonna have a headache in the morning, Y/N."

"It's fine, I'll deal with it when the morning comes." You whine. "Can you just come here and cuddle me like you typically do?" He chuckles.

"Yeah, yeah." He says, finally crawling in and throwing his arm around your waist even as you awkwardly lay on your stomach with a leg bent upwards. He begins to quietly massage your sides and down your back, fingers gently running a line down your spine. He listens to you let out a breath, body easing up under his touch like it always does. "Feels good?" He says nearing a whisper, close to your ear.

"Mhm." You let out breathily, eyes shut to feel more of his touch. You feel him unclasp your bra to work his hands deeper into your shoulders and either side of your spine. Yoongi always knew how to work his way with you, work his magic on you— so much that even this simple massage has you wanting more out of him. It's like that though. Your relationship with Yoongi was just like that. You turn to face him and his hand continues to linger on your side, giving it a squeeze when he looks down at your face, nose, down to your lips.

"Need a massage here, too?" He smirks, playing with the strap of your bra.

"You're an idiot." You giggle as he pulls you closer and completely gets rid of your bra while planting small, soft kisses along the surface of your neck. "Wasn't really planning on this, you know?"

"That's funny cause that's always the story, yet what do we always end up doing?" Your eyes flutter at the feeling of his lips against your skin. Your hands roam up to grip his hair just as he makes his way up to your jaw, cheek, kissing the tip of your nose before locking his lips with yours. You moan into the kiss as it deepens, your tongue instantly slipping into his. The only sounds that can be heard within your room are the cars passing by outside, mixed with the noises of wet kisses being exchanged.

You work your way to toss Yoongi's shirt aside, just as he works his way to hook his finger onto your panties and slip it off. You tease at his clothed, hardened cock by palming him through his shorts and he responds by feeling how wet your pussy is. You let out a small gasp when you feel his hand start rubbing at your pussy, spreading your wetness across your pussy lips.

"Just fuck me, Yoongi." You moan, already taking his cock from beneath his shorts before he can fully shred the piece of clothing.

"Yeah, I'm gonna take care of you, baby." He says, wasting no time to climb ontop of you, taking his cock and sliding it up and down your slit a few times to tease you.

"Please." You whine. "Need to feel you." He smirks and bites onto his bottom lip just as he takes his tip and breaches your entrance.

"God, you already feel so fucking good." He lets out. "So wet for me." He watches his cock sink into you, deeper and deeper, until he bottoms out completely.

"Ohhhhhmygod—" You arch your back slightly at the feeling of being full. Yoongi works at a slow pace at first, trying to get the right rhythm going as he cocks your legs wide open with his hands.

"Princess. Look at you. Creaming the fuck out of my cock." He says, looking down as he teasingly slips in and out of you. He begins to pick up his pace, rolling his hips into you as a hand grips onto your headboard to keep him steady, the other hand kept tightly on your hip. He starts to pound into you relentlessly, loving how delicious your walls feel wrapped around him tightly.

It always, always, always, keeps him wanting more of you.

"Yes, yes, yes— just like that—hmmmfuck!" You moan a bunch of jibberish together, nails digging crescents onto his arm. "Feels so fucking good." You continue to whine, whimper, begging him to keep going for you. He lowers his body so that he could run his hands up your hair, whispering praises in your ear as he strokes in and out at a steady speed.

Making you feel him, all of him, completely.

He always tells you how beautiful you are to him, how you're his baby, how there's no one who could make him feel the way you do.

How no one could ever come close to you.

And that's the one thing that always has you hurdling over the edge, reaching your orgasm much faster than expected. Because not only does he fuck you so, so good— but he praises you, knows just the right fucking words to say, knows just how to touch you in the right places.

You let out a loud moan, yelling his name as your eyes roll to the back of your head when your orgasm takes full control. His hand slides down to grip your neck, fucking you senselessly as he tries to reach his own high watching you cum all over his dick. And he does. It takes a few more thrusts, but before you know it, his lips are grazing yours, both of you letting out silent moans when he releases inside of you, painting your walls full of white ribbons.

He comes down from his high as he softens inside of you, lips pecking feathery kisses on yours before he finally pulls out and rolls over next to you. He grabs a napkin from your nightstand and gently wipes you clean before taking care of himself and throwing his arm back around you.

"You okay?" He brushes the hair out of your face before you roll onto your side.

"Definitely more sober now." You say, making him chuckle as he holds you close and kisses your shoulder.

"Good. At least I helped prevent the morning headache."

"Shut up." You chuckle.

"Anything for you." He continues to joke.

/ END FLASHBACK

After Yoongi gives your back a good introductory massage, he then turns to get the stones and holds them tightly in his palms. You feel the back of his hands work their way down on either side of your spine, all the way down to your sacrum, before coming back up. He repeats this process a few times before flipping his palms over and rolling the stones down the same path. He adds the right pressure against the surface of your skin, the heat just enough to penetrate and hit deeper into your tissue.

Yoongi doesn't even know how to feel right now with you being underneath him for a completely different reason today. And it's been years— years since you've last spoken, last talked.

He'd be lying if he said he wasn't hurt all over again when he saw you.

You still looked beautiful as ever, still rocking that fine ass body with curves in all the right places. Yeah, he definitely wasn't hurt when you two ended up the way you did. He wish it never ended up that way. He wanted much, much more with you. You just never seemed to feel the same. But he couldn't dwell on it. Figured he'd just accept it and move on, even if that meant without you by his side. That was probably the hardest part all along. To be with you almost 24/7, to suddenly being without you at all. He had to do it though, for his own sake.

Yeah, he'd defnitely be lying if he said he wasn't hurt all over again when he saw you.

"Feels alright?" He dips lowly near your ear as he holds stones sideways and digs them deep into your shoulders, down your back, sacrum; always avoiding the spine directly.

"Mmm." Is all he hears. He continues to work all through your back and up to your neck before placing the stones down to rest along your spine. He places two tiny stones amongst your shoulders, guiding you to move your hand backwards one at a time, just so he can give you a good, deep, proper massage in between the scapula. Afterwards, he grabs new stones and moves down to your left leg. He uncovers it, gently massaging up and down your thigh, calf, in a circular motion with the stones, using them as an extension of his hands. He does this for awhile until he feels like he's done enough, the heat slowly moving away from the stones in his palms. So, he sticks a stone on the back of your knee where the bend is, and takes the other stone down to your foot for a soft massage— flipping the stone as needed to distribute the heat along your foot properly. Once he's finished with his final touches, he places the stone in the middle of your foot, covers the entire leg with the linen cloth and repeats the same process on your right leg.

You're sinking in and out of sleep while Yoongi massages you, all of a sudden forgetting the heated, awkward tension in the air as he continues to work his magic throughout your body. For a moment, you don't regret stepping foot into the establishment. For a moment, you don't ponder on your worries and why things feel so fucking tense between you and Yoongi. Then it hits you when he clears his throat in the background that yeah, your relationship, friendship— whatever the hell you wanted to call it— was cut off so abruptly. Seeing him made you really miss having him around. Because besides Rissa, he was someone you were able to lean on, have fun with, be yourself around.

There was no pressure with Yoongi before.

Now, there's a ton.

Pressure to, what? Fix things? Talk about things? Figure out where it went so, so wrong that he had upped and left, cutting off all ties with you without reason? You don't even know where or how to start.

"Y/N." He repeats.

"Hm?"

"I said I need you to flip over so I can work on the front of your body." You're nervous. God, you're nervous. It's like you were trying to impress him all over again, the same Min Yoongi that you had the fattest fucking crush on. The same Min Yoongi that you could do all that shit with, but could never admit that you had feelings for.

You hold onto the linen cloth as you carefully turn yourself over on the table, Yoongi once again giving you the privacy you need by turning his back. When he feels like he's given you enough time, he turns to see you pulling the linen cloth over your chest. He walks over, taking his biggest stone into another towel and wrapping it tightly before placing it down on your abdomen.

"That feel okay? Gonna leave this here while I work through your arms and legs."

"Yeah, that feels nice."

"Cool." He says, pressing it down ever so slightly just so you could feel the heat against your abdomen. He starts with your left leg, following the same rhythm he had when he massaged the back of your leg earlier. He takes the stones around your thigh, down to your calf, and works it in small circular motions before repeating the same up and down motion he had done before. He then takes the stone, places it underneath the bend of your knee and take the other to your foot. He gently grips your foot, working the stone in small motions against the surface before his touch disappears and he moves onto the next leg.

His touch.

You remember feeling cold without his touch.

After massaging your leg, he takes a moment to grab another warm towel and places it over your breasts before sliding the linen cloth down below your abdomen.

"Gonna give you a quick abdomen massage. The towel feel okay?" You let out a small 'mhm' before you hear him take a stone from behind you. He slowly introduces his touch against your abdomen, watching your body react to his touch.

His touch.

You remember how you used to react to his touch.

His touch is soft, gentle, when he presses into your abdomen, applying the right pressure as he goes on just as he realizes you're comfortable again. He takes a stone and proceeds with double-handed kneading that followed the pattern along your colon.

He makes his way up to work with your left arm, hooking the stone into the palm of his hand while he uses the other for support— gently running it up your arm and over your shoulder, back down towards your wrist. He switches to another stone and turns your hand over; starting from your palm and working his way up to your axillary node, then back down. Afterwards, he takes both stones in his hands, running it back all the way up before gently kneading as he comes back down. He leaves a stone under your hand before taking two long stones to do some manipulation around your shoulders. Once he feels like he has finished your left arm, he repeats the process on your right.

"That felt nice." Yoongi smirks at your sudden comment.

"That's the goal." He says, fixing the linen cloth over your body, tucking it in neatly so that your upper chest is properly exposed to him. "We're almost done here. I'll work on your upper chest and do a facial massage, okay? Then you'll be out of here."

"What if I don't wanna be out of here? It's too relaxing." You mumble.

"Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way." He chuckles. "Relax." He closes off the quick conversation by soothing your upper chest, working his hands around, up the shoulders and neck just to warm up the tissue. He repeats the process but this time, takes his two long stones and works them in, running it across your chest and in circular motions around the shoulders. He places them right beneath your collarbones so you can continue feeling the heat penetrate your tissues before taking two smaller stones to your face. He works the stones in an outward motion on your cheek, your forehead, in between your eyes— before working in an upward motion along the same path. Then, he grabs two stones a size up, working it behind the neck, ear and into the hairline in smaller motions. He sets the stones aside, now finishing off the massage by working his fingers deep into your scalp, down to your temples, keeping his hands over your ears for a brief moment to let the heat and energy transfer over. "How do you feel?" He says lowly near your ear, the vibrations in his tone somehow still able to send a tingle down your spine after all these years.

"Really good."

"Yeah? That's good." He says, hands gently gliding down your neck, back to the surface of your chest before he removes the stones. "Hope that was a nice session for you."

"Way more than that. Thank you." He smiles to himself before turning towards the counter, placing the rest of his supplies back on the surface to remind himself to do some good cleaning and disinfecting before his next client.

"Take your time when you get up and get ready, alright? Don't get up too fast." You open your eyes, still feeling calm, relaxed, as your body feels every inch of the table.

"Can't I just stay?" You joke.

"No can do." Yoongi chuckles a bit.

"Hey."  You call for him. "This might sound a little crazy to ask but, do you think we can catch up? It's been a long time, and quite frankly, I wasn't really expecting to run into you here." He turns over his shoulder before shaking his head.

"I don't know. I don't really think there's much for us to catch up on."

"You said it yourself, there's alot of things I don't know about you anymore. We used to be close—"

"Used to be." He says quite harshly when he cuts you off. "And yeah, just cause I said that, doesn't mean it's shit you need to know." He sighs, pushing his things aside before looking at you. "Sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out that way, but you're right. It's been years, and to be honest, part of me just wants to leave it in the past like it should be kept in the past. I don't really know if there's much for us to talk about."

"Please don't be like that. I'm trying to figure out where things went wrong. It's always bothered me that we ended up this way." He shrugs.

"You ever think that maybe this is just how things were meant to be?" He says, giving you one last look, his tongue licking his bottom lip. "It was really nice to see you though, Y/N. Hope you had a good time." He says before grabbing the door knob and twisting it, not really expecting you to be back for another session after all of this. "Again, no rush. My next client isn't until an hour from now." With that, he walks out and shuts the door, leaving you to your own peace.

You were relaxed. Felt blissful, felt at ease.

But now, you aren't so sure. You aren't sure if you wanna break down and cry, if you wanna run after him and beg for him to just talk to you.

You just aren't sure.

So you get up and walk over to the back, throwing on your clothes before lazily tossing the robe into the hamper placed near the divider. You let out a breath before grabbing the knob and twisting it, revealing an empty hallway with a few closed doors in front of you. No Yoongi in sight though, and you can't help but feel a bit heavy walking out of the session as if you didn't just receive a hot stone massage from him.

"Hey! How was it?" Yannie asks, reading your expression as you walk out and tug on your unzipped hoodie. You give her a small, toothless smile and nod, hoping to be on your way quickly.

"It was great!" You simply say with a nod. "Definitely will be back." You lie, mainly because you aren't really sure where this leaves you with Yoongi even if you wanted to be back for one. Shit, that massage was everything you needed and more.

"Good to hear, we'll see you again soon then." She smiles before waving you off.

Fuck.

As for the rest of the day, you do take the time to walk around town, run into a few stores to window shop and eat at the nearby mom and pop Vietnamese restaurant for a good ol' bowl of pho. Mainly out of enjoyment for your day off, moreso because your thoughts were starting to plague your mind and you needed a distraction.

If anything, today taught you that you really needed to take more time out of your busy schedule to slip in some self-care. So, that's what you do to end your night just as well as you started it [you like to think]. You run some hot water and bubbles, pour a glass of red, red wine and light up some incense, candles.

"Wait—" Rissa says while you have her on speaker, phone sitting on the toilet cover. "Yoongi was your masseur?!”

"Yuuuup." You say, sipping on your red wine.

"Oh, this is some shit." She laughs. "Wish I could get my ass on that first flight home so I could see how you look right now."

"Don't even try it."

"Well, tell me the massage was at least worth it."

"It was, very much so." She chuckles.

"But?"

"But, what?"

"There's a 'but' in that sentence. Now, spill."

"It's just weird. We fell off so abruptly, there was no closure. I just wish we could talk about things, I'm not entirely sure where things went wrong between us and it kinda sucks now that I've seen him again."

"I know Yoongi has always meant a lot to you, Y/N. But you could never admit it to him, yourself, even. Don't you think that has a lot to do with this?"

"W-what? That's not true."

"See, there you go again." You sigh.

"I don't know. Maybe."

"Think about it. Not saying that's it, there could be other reasons and the only person who would really know is Yoongi since we know what your side is like, but we don't know his."

"I don't know what to do. Should I go back?"

"What, for a massage or for Yoongi?" She laughs. "Or both, I guess."

"Both." You slip a bit further down into the water. "He was pretty direct today. I don't think he wants to talk about it, but part of me can't really let that go."

"You've always been stubborn like that. But, it's good, you know? You always go for what you want without giving up. I say go for it. If he really, really doesn't wanna see you and talk about things after this, then don't force it. Maybe he's right. It sucks to say, but maybe that's really how you two were supposed to end up." You sigh.

"Yeah, yeah." You respond simply, shutting your eyes as you let the hot water seep in and continue to relax your muscles. It was hard to say. Yoongi did mean a lot to you. He was someone you always had fun with, someone you could trust, someone who took care of you even when you didn't ask.

Of course, he meant a lot to you.

Of course, you wouldn't let that go after seeing him again.

But of course, Yoongi's detached and you're having to break through his walls yet again— most likely due to something you did that you weren't even aware of.

"You're back!" Yannie exclaims when she sees you walk through the door shyly.

"I am. I probably should have called beforehand, but I wasn't sure if I was going to make it in time before the last slot." You rub your hands together. "Is Yoongi here?"

"He sure is, and you just got lucky. His last spot cancelled not too long ago." Yannie shrugs.

"Sweet."

"He's with someone right now, but the session will be over—" She glances at the time. "Pretty soon, actually. Take a seat and get comfortable for now, alright?" She smiles, handing you one form to sign. You silently take the form with you, reading through the liability language again as you take your pen and get ready to sign at the line on the bottom half of the page. Sooner or later, you hear some giggling and a female voice echoing in the back hallway, a pretty, young lady coming through with Yoongi following behind her.

His smile drops almost instantly when he sees you sitting there. But it's not cause he's mad or anything, no. He could never be that mad at you after everything, could never hold a big grudge against you. He's just surprised that you're back, and he's also [surprisingly] relieved to see you're back.

Your eyes, and that smile.

The way you always used to hold onto him and hold his hand, looking up at him with those puppy dog eyes.

Your laugh.

He could never be that mad at you.

"Hey, I know your last client cancelled, but Y/N is here hoping to grab that slot." Yoongi nods.

"Yeah, it's no problem." He looks at the young lady in front of him as she bats her lashes and sways her hips while walking towards the door.

"See you next session, Yoonks?" She calls him a weird nickname that falls off her tongue so poorly. God.

"Of course." He smiles shyly, hand coming to the nape of his neck as he watches her walk out. He finally turns his attention towards you and clears his throat when he realizes you had been watching the interaction the entire time. "I um, just need to clean up in there a bit then I'll be ready for you. Give me a couple of minutes."

"Okay." Is all you say before finally scribbling your fucking signature on that line. Oh, Yoonks. Hope she isn't the one you're slipping in bed with. Your heart would be crushed to know he already had someone, even though you knew it was a high possibility after all this time. You couldn't be selfish with him forever.

Sooner or later, you're pulled out of your thoughts when Yoongi peeks his head out into the waiting area and taps the door frame. He purses his lips together when he looks at you and nods.

"Ready?"

"Mmyeah." You get up to follow him.

"Enjoy!" Yannie exclaims when she sees you follow him to the back. You quietly continue on, setting your things aside like you had done before when you step into the room and Yoongi shuts the door behind him.

"Was that your girlfriend, or something?" You tease.

"No. Repeat client." He looks at you before turning. "Somehow, I know you aren't really here for the massage." He fiddles with his things on the counter.

"I mean, I am. I could really use one."

"But you wanna try and talk, don't you?" You silently excuse yourself behind the divider to change and slip the robe on.

"Maybe. I won't push it." You say, tying the robe close before taking a seat on the edge of the table.

"Mm, but you always push it." He softly chuckles. "There's no stopping Y/N when she's determined to get what she wants." He turns to look at you, white tee hugging his body so nicely— you can't help but ogle a bit when he steps in front of you.

"No, not anymore necessarily." You try and cover your shit up even though both him and Rissa are right. You know this.

"Right." He lets out a little laugh. "You wanna lie down so we can get this started?" He walks over to the cabinets, grabbing a fresh, clean pair of linens in his hands. When he turns, he catches you removing your robe and covering your breasts when you're about to lie down. He quickly turns because quite frankly, he shouldn't even be in here for this— but, it's you.

You know this, too.

"I'm ready." You tell him, placing your face into the cushion comfortably.

"Cool." He says, draping your lower body with the linen in his hand, tucking it gently into your sides to make you feel even more comfortable. He makes his way to the front, preparing to manually massage you before adding the stones just so he can introduce his touch again. "Gonna start, alright? Relax, breathe in and out. I'll massage you without the stones first to get your tissues warmed up."

"Okay." You pause before calling for him again. "Yoongi?" You let out a little weirdly with the pressure he's adding onto your back.

"Hm?"

"What really happened between us?" He chuckles.

"And here you were, trying to tell me you weren't gonna push the agenda. Do you have to do this now? Mid-hot stone massage?" You head the clacking of the stones against each other before he starts working it into your back. He's right, it honestly feels too good for you to speak properly, but you felt like this was the only way— the only option, so to speak. His number had changed, he wasn't necessarily on social media. Didn't live at home with his parents anymore.

How else could you contact him besides seeing him for a massage?

"What other choice do I have?"

"I already told you there isn't much to talk about."

"Yeah, so why are we so awkward with each other?"

"It's been years."

"Why has it been years, Yoongi?" He sighs, head falling before he continues to work your back.

"It's your massage, don't blame me if you don't feel completely rested afterwards." He caves, gives in, knowing he can't ever say no to you. He can't ever be that mad, no.

You know that.

"I'm not gonna lie to you, Y/N. I was pretty upset with you when we spoke last. Do you even remember when that was?" He speaks up again.

"In college, yeah." You let out a small sigh when he deeply massages near the shoulder blades.

"So, you don't exactly remember?"

"Yoongi, I don't. Okay? I'm sorry." He should've expected it. He remembers that scene so clearly in his head, it almost aches him. He really did like you, Y/N. Min Yoongi was so much in like with you that he wanted to stop being friends with benefits, and he wanted more out of it. He was sure you two could take it there, no doubt. You fit each other well. So, so well—

Until you didn't.

/ FLASHBACK

"Sorry, I need to go find Y/N soon. She said she wanted to kick it." Yoongi tells his friend, Akio.

"What, for a quick fuck?" He laughs, making Yoongi shake his head.

"Shut the fuck up. She's not just a quick fuck. That girl means a lot to me, alright?" Yoongi catches the way Akio's face falls, moreso into confusion.

"Wait, you're not serious, right?"

"I'm pretty sure I am." Yoongi responds sarcastically, a little thrown off at the way he's taking the news right now. Was there something he wasn't aware about? Last time he checked, even if you two weren't serious, you both were exclusively just fucking around with each other and each other only.

Yoongi could be completely wrong at this point, though. But he hoped he wasn't. He really respected you and cared about you more than anyone he has ever crossed paths with, and the foundation of your friendship, that closeness you two had before anything, meant everything to him. He would never fuck that up. That's why he always checked in with you, always made sure that what you two were doing was still okay. He would never wanna disrespect you or make you feel uncomfortable. He never wanted to step out of line, or even hurt you in the slightest bit.

"Look, I just thought you two settled on the fact that you were friends with benefits, that's all."

"What do you know that I don't?"

"Nothing, man. That's it."

"Don't lie to my face, dude." Yoongi gives off a nervous chuckle. "What did she say to you?"

"She's been telling people that you two weren't serious and that she couldn't really see you two together like that.. or— that she couldn't see you like that." Ouch. Yoongi's fucking hurt, alright. And if that wasn't enough, Yoongi catches the way Akio looks past his shoulder, so he follows his gaze. He turns to see you flirting with the hot soccer boy on campus, Kane, who was also notorious for sleeping around and messing with other females at the same time.

Great.

Fucking great.

Because he knows you wouldn't turn that down— no, the fuck you wouldn't.

And he wishes he was wrong because the moment he sees you hold onto his arm and let him walk you up into the dormitory, his heart sinks. Shatters to pieces. Everything feels numb.

He thought you two were on the same page. Clearly, you weren't. He could never be that mad at you, though. Because he's always gonna have it for you, always gonna have that soft spot for you and hold you close, even if you were meant to stray away, even if you were meant to be kept at a distance.

He could never be that mad at you, no.

"I'm sorry my guy, I really thought you two had been on the same page. I didn't wanna be the first to break it to you like that. Maybe you should talk to her."

"No, it's good. You're right, it's really not that serious." He lies.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, it's whatever." Akio shrugs.

"Alright then, I'm just saying. It could be good for you two to talk. It seems like there's still a disconnect somewhere." Yoongi ignores his added statement and pats him on the back.

"Gotta go, catch you later." He thought you two were close enough, thought he could read every inch of you, be that person who knew you like the back of his hand. He thought he had the privilege of having that much access to you because god, never in a million years would he have guessed. It started off so innocently, started off as two friends going through college together, before it grew into something more.

He wished it could blossom into more.

But now, maybe he truly does have to keep you at a distance. Keep you away, treat you like your mind and heart had been somewhere else this entire time.

Fuck.

Later that evening, Yoongi runs into you after you finish up a review session in the library. It was the last thing he wanted to deal with tonight, but there was no turning back. You weren't even aware that he knew about the things you said, seeing you with Kane earlier today. You knew nothing.

"Hey." You giggle, swinging your arms around him, but he gently pries it off and continues to walk towards his dorm. "Wait, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Just having an off day." He says, keeping his head hung low.

"What happened?"

"Classes, homework. Lots of stuff to do."

"Oh, okay. That's it?" You nervously chuckle. "You got it, champ. I know you'll get through it." You playfully punch at his bicep, but he doesn't respond. "Okay, well, I'm sorry it's been a bad day." You awkwardly rub at your arms, stopping in your tracks. "I'm gonna go hang out with Kane and his friends, alright? Let me know if you need me."

"Mhm." He says, brushing you off completely and walking into this dormitory building.

/ END FLASHBACK

"I was waiting for you to try and figure out what was wrong. I wanted you to come to me and fix things, like I always do when something is off between us—" He works his way to your left arm. "With you. But the one night I needed you to do the same, you couldn't. Then you proceeded to tell me you were gonna go off and hang out with Kane and his friends." He says, working the stones down your arm.

"I wish you could have just told me."

"Y/N. You knew something was wrong, but you just didn't try to fix it. You didn't really care in the moment. The only thing you cared about was yourself and benefitting for yourself." You aren't really sure how to respond because now that you think about the moment, he was right. You knew something was off, but you didn't care enough to try and fix it. Yoongi had always been there for you, had always put you before anyone and anything.

And the one time he expected you to pull your own weight, even as a good friend [all benefits and fuckbuddy shit aside], you couldn't do that for him.

"I'm sorry."

"I mean." He chuckles, covering your arm with the linen before moving down to your leg. "Doesn't really matter anymore, right?"

"Of course it does. I'm sorry it had to take this for me to realize but it really fucked me up that we just stopped talking. I was dumb." You mumble.

"You're not dumb, don't say things like that." He adds.

"I'm really sorry."

"Don't apologize anymore. It's fine. I shouldn't have made it such a big deal."

"It is a big deal." He sighs a bit. "Can I ask you something?"

"Mhm."

"Were you really hurt about the whole Kane thing?"

"Are you really asking me this?"

"Right." You subtly shake your head. "I take it back—"

"Of course I was hurt." He continues to reply anyway. "I thought we were on the same page. We were for awhile. My feelings for you grew, and I thought we'd eventually make our way into something bigger than just being friends with benefits. I cared a lot about you, I tried to do a lot of things to show you that you were something special to me. You always came first because I had never had someone make me feel comfortable in my own skin the way that you did. Then—" He gently massages your foot with the stone before moving onto your other leg, introducing is touch just like he did before. "When I found out you were messing with other people and telling other people you didn't really see me that way, it fucked me up."

"Yoongi." You turn your head to the side, hoping to get a glimpse of him somehow.

"Nah, it's okay. You wanted an explanation so I'm giving it to you. Really, there's no need to try and apologize for it now. It's all in the past and I kinda just wanna leave it that way." You're a tad bit hurt at the way he won't accept the apology, but part of you understood that it took way too long for you to realize that something you had done affected him in ways you could only imagine.

"I should've done better." Is all you can say. He doesn't respond to it, though. Just continues to massage you, make you feel good like he always has done. You feel a little awkward now, lowkey regretting the fact that you came here with the sole intention to get Yoongi to talk about what happened between you two. Although, it was definitely something you needed to hear. Where to go from here though? You had no idea how to navigate this. What if this was it? After seeing him, you didn't want it to be. You wanted to try and fix this, even with knowing that it was close to impossible to bring back what you two had before.

That's the only thought that continued to plague your mind at this moment; the only thought that repeated itself over and over again that you didn't even realize you were now having to face him as you switch onto your back to let Yoongi massage the front of your body.

"You can relax, you know?" He looks you in the eye, a little confused as to why you're just plainly staring at him as he starts the front body massage.

"I'm sorry." You repeat, close to a whisper. "I just wanna fix things between us. I know it's a little late, but better late than never right?"

"Mm, I'm always going to have a soft spot for you Y/N.. but in a way where I can just support you and care about you from a distance. I think we work better that way."

"Do we, though?"

"These past years kinda say so, don't you think?"

"But that's because I didn't know any better." He shrugs.

"It seemed to be fine." He simply states.

"Were you, though? I missed you, a lot. I just didn't know how else to reach out to you before, or where to even find you."

"Don't say things you don't mean." He lets out a tiny breath, pursing his lips together.

"I do mean that. I thought about us, you, a lot. I missed the way you cared for me and how you were always there for me. I missed how you always made me feel so special." You stop there, even though you can go on and on about how Yoongi made you feel back in the days. That lingering feeling of attachment, of needing his touch, his cuddles, the way he never let you down. Fuck, he was so good to you. You let him get away.

"Sounds like this is purely for your benefit."

"You can't say we didn't make each other happy."

"You did make me happy, I just wasn't the case for you."

"Of course you made me happy."

"Kinda hard to believe." He says flatly. "Look, I said what I needed to say. I think that's what you wanted, right? I've just come to the conclusion that we're better off the way that we ended up. You'll always mean something to me, no matter what. Don't get me wrong. But, I think we both just need to continue moving on and leaving that where it belongs." Suddenly the room feels hot and tense, especially when he's incredibly close to your ear, close to your face, your lips. His hands continue to travel down your body, working his touch like he's always been so good at doing.

You leave it at that, though. Respecting his wishes, not wanting to push any further to avoid more issues. Although it fucking kills you, and you wish you could just snap your fingers and you and Yoongi could return to your old ways like shit never happened.

You should've known better, you could have done better. You were too selfish to try at the moment, and now you're laying here wondering how things could have been if you just tried a little harder for him.

He's the one that got away.

Maybe he was right, maybe there really was no coming back from this. Maybe it was just better this way.

When the massage comes to a close, Yoongi softly lets you know that the session has concluded, but doesn't say much. He doesn't offer for you to come back like the first time you came here, doesn't really offer much in general. You quietly get up to change behind the divider, tossing the robe into the hamper while Yoongi tidies up his room for closure tonight. When he hears you come out from behind the divider, he simply gives you a look over his shoulder before returning his attention to his supplies beneath his hands.

"You feel alright?" He decides to ask anyway.

"I guess so." You dig your hands into your pockets. "Thank you."

"Of course." He finally turns to fully look at you, eyes locking onto yours as his tongue comes out to meet the corner of his mouth. You don't pull your gaze away for a bit, his look still giving you those same old butterflies you used to feel when he used to give you the same look back in the day. His eyes used to say a lot about how he felt about you without the need to actually say it out loud. He watches as you grab one of his business cards and scribble something on the back before handing it to him.

"Just know that I'm really sorry, and I really wish we could fix things. Or, I could fix things. I should have done better for you, especially when I knew I felt more for you than what I showed at the time." He sees that you had written your number on the back of one of his business cards, eyes locked on it as it sits in his hand. "In case you ever needed it." You give him one last look before giving him a tiny, toothless smile and excusing yourself out of his room.

Don't get it twisted, though. You do feel relieved he at least told you what was going through his head at the time, and what had happened between the two of you. But, the majority of you felt guilty, and you weren't sure how you'd fix this without forcing the connection, without forcing what wasn't meant to be.

Damn.

"Sorry, I just came out of my massage and got home." You place the phone against your ear as you step into your apartment.

"How was it?" Rissa asks with a small giggle.

"I don't even know, Rissa. I think I may have just fucked this up for good. I shouldn't have gone back."

"Don't say that. Tell me what happened." She says, hearing another sigh leave your lips as you place your bag and keys down.

"I'm so stupid, Rissa. I should have known he was hurt by the whole Kane thing. I should have told him the truth."

"Girl, not to be the 'I told you so' bitch, but I am gonna be that bitch and say I told you so." She says directly. "I knew you were caught up at the time cause Kane was giving you the attention, who wouldn't? But you going around saying the things you said about Yoongi and denying that entire thing was definitely going to backfire."

"God, I was so fucking selfish and dumb." You lay back against your couch and let your head rest back, now remembering the times you brushed Yoongi off without even realizing.

"We live and we learn, at least now you know." Rissa says.

"I apologized, though. I really did try to talk to him about it."

"I'm sure he appreciates it, love. What else did he say?"

"Nothing. He just thinks that maybe we really were meant to fall off and be this way. He was saying that after all these years, it just seems better. He just wants to keep it that way and keep it in the past."

"Maybe he just needs time to think. I'm sure it was hard on his part, especially having to unexpectedly face it again. You know Yoongi doesn't trust a lot of people, and you probably were the one person he could fully trust. I'm sure it hurt him a lot." She says softly.

"I don't know what to do now. I left him my number but fuck, I don't even think he'll use it. He probably trashed it the moment I left the room."

"Just give it time. Again, if it really is meant to be, then it'll happen in time. If not, then I hate to say it, but maybe he's right, hun."

"I hate to think of it that way. God. Why didn't I just realize it at the time?"

"We were young and dumb. It was college. We weren't worried about all this because we wanted to have fun."

"Doesn't make it an excuse." You sighed heavily. "I don't know. I really can't do anything to force it, so I'll just let it be like you like said." There's a small pause before Rissa speaks again.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"I will be." You shake your head, not wanting to think more about the situation for the rest of the night. "So, tell me all about what you did today, please? What fun did you get into?" She hears it in your voice, and as your bestfriend, she knows very well that you don't like to stress too much about things. So, she gives you what you want. Gives you the full details of her day so that the both of you can pick at the little things and go off on tangents.

Just so you no longer have to think about Yoongi for tonight.

But that's the opposite case for Yoongi, even if he didn't want it to be the case. Because the moment he gets home from work, all he can think about is you.

He hates that this is always the case with you, hates that he always has that soft spot for you no matter how direct or blunt he can get. Hates how you always have him in some kind of hold, hates how after all these years, you can still make him weak in one way or another.

But he'll never be that mad at you, no. He can never be that mad at you.

/ FLASHBACK

"Hey." Yoongi whispers, slipping into your dorm bed around 2AM. You were fast asleep, cuddled up in your blankets. But, you always left your door open especially for Yoongi to slip himself in.

"You're so cold." You mumble against the sheets, scooting to make room for Yoongi to situated himself in your bed next to you. He wraps his arms around you and pulls you close, instantly wanting some of the heat you radiated under the covers. "Yoooongi." You whine, trying to pry his arms off of you.

"Baby, you're so warm though." He snuggles against your neck. "Missed you." You continue to whine a bit until you feel him warming up behind you.

"How was Akio's birthday outing?"

"Fun. Kinda drunk, not gonna lie."

"I see." You chuckle a bit, eyes still closed as you turn to face him and snuggle against his chest.

"Been too long without you."

"Shut up." You giggle, eyes slowly flickering as you look at him in the dark.

"Did you miss me?"

"No."

"Fucking liar." He laughs, pulling you closer. He places a peck on your forehead before moving down to the tip of your nose and your lips. You giggle when he continues to give you small, feathery kisses against your lips, playfully pushing him away to get some air.

"You're so fucking affectionate right now. Gross."

"Just missed you." He squeezes your thigh and pulls you near, your waist tucked as close as possible to his crotch. You liked it when he did this shit though, always telling you how much he missed you, how much he wanted you. Always made you feel good, feel special. "Can I kiss you, please?" He looks at you, brushing the hair away from your face and off your shoulder.

"You still have to ask?" You turn a bit, laying on your back with your head turned towards his direction.

"I always have to ask. I never like to assume." He says, large hand coming to cup your cheek. "C'mere." His thumb caresses the surface as he slowly brings your face closer to his, eyes drawn to yours, then down to your lips. When you feel his soft lips press a light kiss against your own, you can't help but release all the butterflies in your tummy. You feel tingles run down your spine, your arms, entire body, even as he continues to deepen his kisses.

It's a quiet night. The only sounds that fill the room are the sweet, soft, slow kisses being exchanged between the two of you. And it was perfectly fine. There were no expectations to fulfill any other need besides being in each other's company and enjoying each other's kisses.

His hand slips down to your sides, giving it a gentle squeeze as he pulls you closer, peppering your jaw and the surface of your neck with feathery kisses. He hungrily moves back to your lips, sucking on your bottom lip before pulling it back with a soft pop. You moan against the next kiss, tugging on his shirt as his hand roams inside of yours.

"Can we fuck already?"

"Not what I came here for." He chuckles when he pulls back from the kiss. "Just wanted to kiss you and cuddle you to sleep."

"Wow, are you being foreel?" You kinda laugh in his face, unsure if he was serious or not.

"Seriously." He edges his face to kiss you some more on the neck, letting him do whatever he wanted to do to you.

Which was that; it was just that. And sometimes, you really did enjoy this part of having Yoongi around— where there was nothing but safety, comfort. No strings attached.

/ END FLASHBACK

The flashback comes into Yoongi's mind after he steps out of the shower, your constant 'I'm sorry's' repeating in his head while he looked at his own business card sitting next to his phone on the bathroom sink counter.

More like your voice repeating in his head, the look on your face repeating in his head. Your eyes, lips.

He can never forget those.

The towel hangs loosely on his waist, water drips down his orange hair, down his chest. He lets out a deep sigh before grabbing his phone, clicking his teeth when he grabs the card.

"Fuck." He mumbles to himself when he types in your number and decides to send a text. A lousy, little text—

[unknown number] 8:53am: coming by again any time soon?

[unknown number] 8:54am: it's yoongi btw

He's definitely lost his touch. He does a slight head tilt when he tosses his phone aside, waiting for your response. Albeit, he hasn't really had a relationship since he was messing with you. Had a few fuckbuddies on the side to try and get rid of the shit you put him through. Nonetheless though, it was never going to compare.

You look at your phone, startled at the sudden notification [especially since it wasn't your family or Rissa]. You look at Yoongi's text for a little bit, unsure if you're relieved he actually put your number to use or if you're nervous about interacting with him some more.

[y/n] 8:58am: why do you ask?

[yoongi] 9:01am: promos happening, just thought you should know

You smirk. That was a terrible lie, and he should've known better than to pull that one.

[y/n] 9:05am: riiiight.. lol. thought about coming later today. could use another massage after this proposal takes everything out of me. wasn't sure if i'd try another kind of massage tho.

[yoongi] 9:07am: you don't want the other dudes here, trust me

[y/n] 9:08am: and why not??

[yoongi] 9:11am: just cause. let me know if you're stopping by, ok? i'm free at 4.

[y/n] 9:12am: yoongi, i know you aren't really just texting me about some promos..

[yoongi] 9:14am: i mean i am

[yoongi] 9:15am: listen, i just want you to know that i didn't mean to come off rude or anything last session. i'm sorry, alright? you know i never mean to hurt you, but i also had to be real with you

[y/n] 9:17am: heard you loud & clear.

[yoongi] 9:18am: so coming by later today?

[y/n] 9:20am: sure, i guess so. why not.

[yoongi] 9:21am: kk

[y/n] 9:22am: why do you want me to come by so badly?

[yoongi] 9:23am: just think we need to re-do last session, felt kinda bad

[yoongi] 9:25am: i gotta run, i'm about to be fucking late and i haven't even left the house yet. i'll see u later

You look at your phone in slight disbelief. This was starting to sound a bit like the Yoongi you knew, however, you were still confused as to why he wanted you to come by so badly.

Plus, he didn't even want you to try the other services they had to offer because he felt like he needed to re-do the last session?

He was up to something. Even if he wouldn't say it directly.

But really, you knew it was easy for Yoongi to feel bad. He never liked making you upset in any way possible, never liked making you feel like you weren't worth his time or effort. Because you always were worth it, you were always going to be worth it to him.

When you left the other day, he couldn't help but feel a tad bit guilty about his tone and how he came off. He never intended for it to be that way. Sure, he was hurt. But he wasn't going to fight fire with fire. Seeing you made him miss you, too. He was afraid to admit it, but he'll say it now. He does miss you. He misses how things used to be. And maybe it won't ever go back to that 100%, but he'd enjoy having you back in his life one way or another.

That's why he doesn't want you to try the other services and see his colleagues. They had their own shit going on too, anyway. He tends to be pretty selfish with you, whether he realizes it or not.

Your day goes by stressfully, with this month-long proposal finally being submitted as a final draft to your boss. You had put in so much time and effort into this, fixing every single detail down to the T to make sure it was to his liking. He has you walk through the proposal from beginning to end, suggesting teeny tiny last n minute edits before he tells you that the proposal is beautiful and that it should be good to go after the last corrections have been made.

A relief.

You definitely deserved this massage, especially since you worked so hard, so long, on this shit [that wasn't necessarily even your responsibility] and took the project under your wing with grace.

Waltzing into Blissful Hands a bit before 4PM, the waiting room is a bit more packed than you the past two times you've been here. Yannie gives you a wave, signaling for you to do the same routine before seeing Yoongi. You sit there awkwardly, fiddling with your fingers until you see Yoongi poke his head out from the hallway to give you an 'i'm ready for you' nod. You purse your lips together and follow him to his room— this time, candles lit, incense burning.

"Uh, wow." You set your things aside. "Those smell really nice."

"Figured I'd help you relax a bit more this time." He looks at you. "How are you feeling today?"

"Good I guess, finally fucking finished that proposal I've been working on for months."

"Yeah?" He licks his bottom lip before turning. "That's good. Assuming you're in marketing like you've always dreamed of getting into?" You shrug before walking towards the back divider.

"Mhm." It's quiet for a moment as you switch out of your clothes and get into the robe, gently sitting on the edge of the table while your feet dangle as Yoongi prepares the rest of his supplies. He finally turns and comes towards you, hand brushing the hair away from your shoulder.

"Is it okay if I start with the front today?" He asks you.

"Do you always do that?"

"Sometimes, If I wanna switch it up."

"You know best." He chuckles a bit.

"Lie down, please." He hands you a smaller linen to cover your breasts when you slip out of the robe and lie down in the position he needs you to be in.

"Did you really feel bad for last time?"

"Kinda, yeah. Not gonna lie. Didn't want you to think I was coming off like a dick."

"Maybe just a tad. Understandable though. It's my fault."

"Sorry." He says. "I am happy to see you again, you know?" He says softly. "You always win."

"Win?" You watch as he drips some oil down your arm, eyes locking onto yours as he places the tiny bottle down. He starts to work his hands down your arm and up to your shoulder, to the base of your neck, his touch sending tingles down your spine this time.

"I can never stay mad at you." He says huskily. "After all this time, I didn't think it'd be the same way, but it is."

"Elaborate."

"I—" He sighs a bit, positioning himself right above your head as he drops more oil down your left arm and abdomen. "I was just remembering the times we spent together, that's all."

"I miss it." You simply tell him. You know your eyes should be shut right now, but for some reason, you can't. He doesn't even tell you to, and you know it's his intention when he locks eyes with you during the duration of his warm up. Even as Yoongi turns to grab some of his stones, he still looks at you.

He keeps looking at you.

You swallow the lump in your throat when he takes a stone down your arm, slowly. His body drops a little closer to yours, his chin almost matching your level when he brings it back up and down with the right pressure.

"Does it feel okay?" He asks, close to a whisper, lips only inches away from yours.

"Mhm." You look at him.

"Harder? Softer? Let me know."

"It's perfect, Yoongi."

"Okay." He works your arms before moving the smaller stones to your abdomen. His finger gently brushes over the linen cloth covering your clothed pussy, his eyes flickering back up to you when he catches you slightly flinch. "You okay?"

"Sorry, was just not ready for that."

"I'll take it slow." He says, his hands using the stones as an extension as he kneads and kneads gently into your stomach and abdomen. You weren't sure why, but you were nervous around him. But in a way where you had hoped you were still enough for him. In a way where he'd look at you and still remember how he felt about you back in the day, even if you couldn't get that back. At least he'd remember.

His touch makes your palms sweaty and he feels that when he takes his tiny stones against your palm and places them in between your fingers.

"Nervous?"

"Not really." He smirks.

"You don't have to lie, I can tell Y/N." He gives you a hand massage. "Don't be nervous, okay? I told you I wanted you to relax this time around."

"Okay."

"Gonna move to your legs now." He uncovers your right leg, locking eyes with you once again when he lets the oil drip from your thigh to your inner thigh, even as he continues to move down your leg. His large hands start from your feet, up to your calf and knee before he's kneading your thigh and inner thigh. Your breathing hitches when you feel him getting closer and closer to your heat, only for him to pull away and grab his stones.

"Yoongi?" You panic and call for him even though you don't necessarily know what you're trying to say right now.

"Mhm?"

"T-that felt nice." You recover quickly.

"Yeah?" He focuses the stone in his palm against your inner thigh, watching as you close your eyes momentarily, body feeling heavy but relaxed in his grip. "Good."

And it's like that, it just continues to be a teasing game for the majority of the session. You weren't sure what Yoongi was hinting at during this moment, but god, did he make you feel good. He always knew how to make you feel good, one way or another. The session goes on for the full hour, Yoongi standing near the side of the table as you try to sit up and stable yourself post-mini nap while he worked on your back. He places his hand on your thigh as your cover your body with the linen cloth, brushing your hair back as you sit and get yourself together.

"Yo, are you okay? Was it that bad?" You chuckle.

"Shut up. It felt so nice. I wish I could just lay here forever, seriously." He smiles. "You're really good at what you do."

"Thanks." You look at him and he doesn't say much, but he also doesn't move away. "Guess I'll be seeing you again then?"

"Maybe." You stand, bodies almost pressed together with the way he doesn't move in his position. "I just hope I'm not a bother."

"You've never been a bother. Just wanted you to actually enjoy yourself." He says. The pause lingers for longer than you imagined, and you're not entirely sure what takes over you in that brief moment [although you kinda do], but you move yourself closer to him, lips crashing into his.

He doesn't move away.

He takes the kiss and runs with it, hands coming up to the small of your back to press you flush against him. You can feel the bulge in his pants against your covered core, and suddenly, you want more out of Yoongi. You're just not sure if you could have it the same way you did before—

"Do you know what you're doing right now?" He pulls back slightly, whispering against your lips.

"Think so."

"I don't know if we should be doing this again."

"Then why didn't you stop me earlier?"

"Shit is just going to get complicated."

"It doesn't have to be. What was all that during the session?"

"I was just doing my job, Y/N" He steps back a bit, teeth nibbling onto his bottom lip. "I—yeah." He sets his things aside. "We probably shouldn't." He scratches at his temple, flustered from the kiss because yeah, does he want you. He really does miss you, does miss having that relationship he had with you— keeping you close, having you to himself at one point.

He's not sure why or how these feelings came rushing back, but they did, especially after you laid that kiss on him moments ago. It's like the complete closure you two were looking for never came because it brought you two to this very moment where maybe, you didn't need to close that part off. Maybe, you both didn't need to shut each other out completely for the rest of your lives.

Maybe, it would be better this time around.

But no, Yoongi still gets a little afraid, still is doubtful. He doesn't know anything about your life right now besides you working your dream job. Hell, you could have a man for all he knows and that could all be fucked up and complicated now.

What was he doing?

What were you two doing?

That was always the question, and that's probably the biggest reason why he just had to step away in the first place.

"Um, I'll give you some space to get dressed." He says, clearing his throat. "You can make your next appointment at the front after, okay?"

"Wait, Yoongi—" You watch as he scurries on out, shutting the door behind him and leaving you to your own peace. "Fuck." You run your hand through your hair, dragging the stupid linen cloth along with you to the back divider to get changed. You still hoped you could catch him, so you hurriedly throw on your clothes and grab your bag, not realizing that your wallet had been poking out and fell onto the floor in the midst of your swift motions.

No Yoongi in sight.

You let out a deep sigh, tugging on your bag strap as you walk out and greet Yannie with that same old 'it felt amazing' smile you always give her before walking out of the establishment.

Fresh air. Fresh, fresh air. No tension, no suffocation.

"Rissa, fuck." You call her as soon as you step into your door, tossing off your shoes and throwing your keys aside. "I'm sorry, I know it's probably still stupid early there but I need you."

"What happened?" She sleepily asks, still trying to get some shut eye in before she has to fully wake up for her day.

"I kissed him."

"Oh fuck." She lets out with a laugh. "Ohhh fuck. Wow, yeah, I like waking up to this kinda news."

"No, bad!" You tell her in a whiny tone. "I shouldn't have, and now it's probably gonna be so awkward. I couldn't help it though, I felt like he was teasing me all session and being gentle with me for certain reasons."

"He's a fucking masseuse, Y/N." She laughs.

"He was teasing me!"

"Listen, he probably liked the kiss so much he had to run off and hide his boner." She shuffles in the back. "That boy has always had it for you. I ship."

"Rissa."

"What, you can't tell me that this is out of the ordinary. You two are always so fucking weird about your relationship, especially you. Just get together already!" She yells into her pillow. "You two obviously have always really liked each other and those feelings never went away. Why don't you finally do something about it? I mean, don't you think there's a reason why you two crossed paths again?"

"Ugh."

"Yeah, ugh. You're telling me." She chuckles. "Go for it this time. Please don't hold back and just go for it." You pause, digging through your bag to try and find your wallet. "Hello? All of a sudden you don't wanna say shit." She jokes.

"Wait, oh my god." You start to panic a bit when you realize your wallet is nowhere to be found. "What the fuck!"

"What's wrong?"

"My wallet? It's gone? I don't know if I dropped it or—"

"Did you have it on you when you got to the massage parlor?"

"Yeah, I did." You sigh and run your hand through your hair. "Shit."

"Welp, guess you're going back to see Yoongi." She giggles. "I better hear about him clapping your cheeks when you get back."

"You're too much." You roll your eyes and shake your head. "I gotta go before I lose my shit even more."

"Update me, text me, whatever. I hope you find it, boo. I'm sure it's just there."

"Thanks. I'll keep you posted." You grab your keys, sighing deeply as you slip back into your shoes and head out back to the parlor. It's not as busy as it was earlier, with only two people waiting in the waiting room for their sessions. Yannie is surprised to see you back, questioning whether or not something had gone wrong during your last session. You simply tell her no, and that you were just over to check if your wallet had fallen out in Yoongi's room. Luckily, he doesn't have anyone back there just yet, so she lets you head on back and straight to his room.

No Yoongi again, though.

You peek your head in at first, scanning the room to see if Yoongi may have just been hiding in the corners, but he wasn't there. You welcome yourself into the room anyway, figuring you were harmlessly looking for your wallet. You scan the side of the room thoroughly, checking the sides, crevices, making sure you weren't missing the item as you passed along. When you finally hit the back area, you catch a glimpse of your wallet right underneath the divider, giving you some relief.

"Oh, thank god." You mutter to yourself.

"What're you doing?" You jump, startled at Yoongi's voice as he stands at the doorway with a tangerine in his hand.

"I—uh, dropped my wallet. Didn't realize it until I got home." You raise your wallet and shyly show him.

"Oh." Is all he says.

"Sorry, I'll get out of your way now." You try to rush out but he blocks your path, holding his hand out.

"Wait, you don't have to rush out."

"Kinda want to after earlier." You directly tell him.

"I'm sorry, I just didn't know what to do in the moment." He looks at you, genuinely trying to apologize. "I mean— it happened so fast. I didn't know what to say or do." He stumbles over his own words.

"You shouldn't be the one apologizing."

"Look Y/N, I didn't mean all of that. I didn't mean to lead you on, or anything. It was kinda just.. a defense mechanism for me. It's been so long since we both had been close in that way and I'm afraid you'd pull the same shit."

"Things change, you know? Even though I didn't try before, doesn't mean I wouldn't try this time around." You try to brush past him, but you still aren't successful. "Yoongi, please just let me get home."

"I know things change." He says. "Can we— can we just do that whole thing over?"

"You'd want to?" You cock your head to the side, trying your best to read him.

"I know we both had our own faults in the past and I want to leave that there as much as possible. At the same time, I really missed you and it's been hitting me ever since the first time you walked into this establishment. I don't know what it is about you, Y/N. I don't know if I'll ever figure it out. But I want us to move past that and start fresh, whatever that means. I'd hate to let you slip away again." He looks at you, stares into your soul almost. You don't really know what to say except, you know this feeling all too well. You've felt this for Yoongi for so long, you've thought about him and your relationship with him for so long. He was the one you couldn't stop thinking about, the one who you always managed to ponder 'what if's' and 'maybe's' about.

You're also terrible with words, but you nod anyways. And you finally find the courage to tell him—

"I feel the same way." He gives you a tiny smile before placing his tiny tangerine down on the counter. He gently cups your cheeks, pulling you in for a kiss that manages to deepen quickly— so quickly that you find yourself being carried onto the table. Yoongi sits you on the end, hands roaming up your sides before giving it a good squeeze.

"I wasn't sure how to take it earlier, please don't take it personally." He whispers near your jaw as he begins to pepper it with light kisses. You tilt your head back slightly to give him more area to work with, eyes shut and rolling to the back of your head when you feel his tongue glide over your neck and below your ear.

"I'm sorry. I—" You whisper back, trying to explain why you had the sudden urge to kiss him at that moment, but he cuts you off.

"It's fine, you don't need to explain. We're here now, right? Can't necessarily turn back." His lips graze yours as his hand travels down your shirt, tugging on the bottom half to signal that he wants you out of it. "Don't necessarily want to, either."

"Fuck— don't you have someone coming in soon?"

"In about 30 minutes, yeah."

"Yoongi."

"Can make you cum before then, right?" He smirks, finally getting you out of your top.

"Is that on your secret menu?"

"No." He chuckles. "Promise." His hands start to roam over your breasts, giving them a good squeeze while he continues to kiss you passionately— working his tongue in your mouth, sucking on your tongue in between. He tugs on your bottoms, getting you to slip out of them with ease. He feels the wet spot pooling on those thin, black panties you have on and it instantly sends blood rushing to his dick—

The fact that you two still had this affect on each other, he couldn't help himself.

You continue to kiss him roughly, passionately, as you get him out of his own clothes, tossing all the pieces of fabric to various points in the room. He slips you out of your panties, instantly rubbing his thumb against your clit. You let out a quick, muffled moan against his lips, only for Yoongi to pull back and smirk at you.

"Like that?" You nod.

"Why'd you stop?"

"Thought I could make it a little more fun." You watch as he grabs his oil and his smaller stones. "If.. that's okay with you. These were the ones I used on you earlier."

"Okay." You say, close to a whisper, gently bringing your lips back onto his. Your hands snake up his neck to get a good grip on his orange strands, tugging on them lightly as he works his way down to your neck again. He pulls away slightly, locking eyes with you before he spreads your legs wider and lets some drops of oil fall down your abdomen and onto your pussy.

He sees your breathing hitch again, but this time, he takes the stone and presses it against your clit to start massaging the oil around.

"Yoongi, fuck." You breathe out as you sit back a bit further, head tilting in pleasure.

"Can already tell how wet you are for me." He bites onto his bottom lip as he continues to work the stone and oil against your clit, free hand slipping in two fingers to pump in and out of you. If it weren't for the soft music Yoongi had playing in the background, you were sure people passing by could hear how wet you were. Because to Yoongi, all he hears is you. The way your pussy sounds when he works his digits inside, the way you let out soft moans as you sit back and let him do his work.

"Need you inside." You let out breathily as you open your eyes again and watch Yoongi damn near pierce his bottom lip with how quick he's trying to work his magic and make you cum on his fingers.

"Wanna cum for me first?" He says near the surface of your neck, lips grazing below your ear before he takes your earlobe into his mouth and gently tugs back. He works the stone faster against your clit, the pressure enough to have you reaching the edge quicker than expected even if the stone was losing its heat.

"Fuck, yeah— like that—" You whine, working your hips against his motions. "Shit, I'm gonna cum—" In a matter of seconds, you feel your high, body twitching as you finally tip over the edge and call Yoongi's name. He slowly pumps his digits in and out, helping you work through your high until he slowly removes it from inside of you. He smirks, setting the stone and oil aside before grabbing at your jaw.

"Open." You do as told, allowing Yoongi to slip in his fingers just so you could have a taste of yourself. "That's my girl." He says.

"Wanna feel you, please." You beg, watching as Yoongi strokes his rock hard cock before bringing you back closer to the edge of the table and spreading your legs wide open for him.

"I got you, baby. You know I always do. Lay back for me and relax." He says, dropping some oil down the valley of your breasts, your stomach. He takes two stones into his palms, gliding it over your chest and stomach, multitasking to add the right pressure through his hands while he takes a hardened bud into his mouth and tongues it in circular motions.

"Oh my god—" You whine, feeling him move onto the next nipple to repeat the process, his tongue gliding effortlessly over your bud. When he finally feels like he's had enough teasing you and making you beg for more, he leans back, setting his shit aside before giving your clit a good rub. He spits on to your pussy, watching it drip down to meet his cock as he slowly penetrates your entrance. Your mouth falls open, a silent moan releasing. It's been years, but you could never forget how Yoongi always made you feel so good, so fucking full and complete.

"Fuck, missed this." He huffs as he bottoms out. He stays in his position for awhile, afraid to move and release too fast, even though he knows he's on a bit of a time crunch right now. He slowly begins to thrust in and out of you, finding his rhythm after a few strokes. He's careful to make sure he doesn't make too much noise with the table, careful to place his hand over your mouth when he starts to hear you moan loudly again as he picks up his pace.

But all in all, his end goal was to make you beg for more and fuck you into oblivion.

Which, he always manages to do. He manages to do it tonight. He's fucking you so good and so deep that you're screaming his name into his palm, tears spilling over and staining your cheeks. His hand has a tight grip onto your thigh, keeping you stationary as he rocks into you— in and out, in and out.

"Baby shit, you feel so good." He moans deeply, head tilting back in pleasure for a quick moment before he's focused on you and only you. "Gonna make me cum all over you. You want that?" You nod, whimpering a quick 'mhm' into his palm once again while he continues with the momentum he has going. You tap his wrist a few times, signaling that you're about to reach your high again tonight, and he picks up on a quick.

"Cumming—" You manage to mumble.

He sees the way you grip onto his wrist.

Feels the way you're clenching around his cock.

Watches the quick way your chest rises with every breath.

It's not long before he feels you tightening around him, eyes shut as you dig your nails onto his wrist and moan loudly into his hand.

"Fuck, gonna cum with you." He groans. The sight, the feeling, is enough for Yoongi reach his high, quickly pulling out to release his seed all over the surface of your pussy.

"Holy shit." You pant, laying there as you and Yoongi try to regulate your breathing. His hands run up your sides to help soothe you, leaning down to place a kiss on your lips before coming back up to grab a towel near the table.

"You okay?"

"More than okay." He chuckles.

"Let me clean you up." He says, wetting the towel and cleaning you up before helping you up from the table.

"You have like 7 minutes before your next client." He shrugs.

"It's fine, I'll clean up quick." You slip back into your own clothes.

"The stones?" You look at him and point at the table.

"Ah, yeah. I'll sanitize those but I'll probably stash them away for you." You laugh.

"Wow, I get my own set of dedicated stones, huh?"

"Probably better that way, anyway. I have extra, and Yannie can always order more for me." You shake your head.

"Thanks, by the way." You raise your wallet. "Needed this."

"Figured." He fixes his shirt and tucks it into his pants before letting out a breath and walking back towards you. "So, am I gonna see you again?" He pulls you tightly by the waist, keeping you flush against him as you look him in the eyes and smile.

"Just might." He chuckles and nods before caressing your chin and placing a warm, soft peck against your lips.

"Let me know when you get home, alright?"

"Okay. Have a good rest of your shift." You giggle before walking out and leaving him to his peace. Getting home, all you could think about was the sudden turn of events and how you were going to tell Rissa about the shit that just happened.

She'd be fucking ecstatic.

She was.

Not even gonna lie.

You had to pull the phone from your ear a couple of times even though that girl claimed she was going to keep it a minimum since she was supposedly on a team call. And to be quite honest, you liked every bit of it even though it made you flustered at times. You liked it because you finally felt like you could do this right, could do him right. You liked it because it finally felt like things had fallen into place and that the closure you thought you needed didn't have to actually come—

Because now, you and Yoongi could finally move on and move past that grey area, together.

>> 1.5 MONTHS LATER

For days, you and Yoongi had continued to see each other at the parlor, both for hot stone reasons and other reasons, before he was finally seeing you at your place and vice versa. Following those weeks and the next month or so, you had started to see each other outside of work, spending a lot of time together and spending the night at each other's homes. Everything had grown quickly, but at the same time, it only felt natural being that you and Yoongi had known each other and had been in this space before. It almost feels like you two picked up right where you left off, even though the both of you considered this to be a fresh start.

It felt amazing, real, genuine.

Like everything had fallen right into your lap just how it should have. And hell yeah, you learned your lesson from the beginning. You weren't gonna mess this up again.

"Scoot." He smiles when he sees you laying down in his bed with nothing on. You set your phone on his nightstand, gripping the sheets closer to your body when you turn and face him. He slips himself in, immediately pulling you flush against his body before brushing the hair out of your face. "What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing." He lets out a small laugh, giving your side a light squeeze.

"Say it, baby."

"It's just kinda crazy, isn't it?"

"What?"

"This. Us?"

"It's crazy only if you make it crazy." You playfully punch him on the chest.

"Seriously." You pout and he gives in, he always gives in.

"A bit, but I wouldn't think too much of it. Guess this is how it was meant to happen."

"Never got that closure because we never needed the closure." You added.

"Are you happy, though?"

"Of course I am." He looks at you and presses a kiss against your forehead.

"I want you to let me know when you aren't, okay? The last thing I want is for you to be unhappy. Doesn't matter if that means with me or not. I just want you to be honest."

"I know. But, I am." He nods.

"Okay." You lean in and kiss him on the lips just as he turns from shutting off his nightstand light.

"Sleeping already?" You mumble against his lips and he smirks.

"I mean, fuck. Yeah? Was hoping to at least get some sleep tonight." You giggle, gently grabbing at his jaw and pulling him in for another kiss.

"No fuuuun." You whine.

"What'd you have in mind then?"

"Oh, I don't know? Thought we could just stay up and talk." His breathing hitches when he feels your soft hand stroking his cock, hardening by the minute.

"S-stay up and talk, huh?" He lets out a breathy moan when he feels you pump him slowly, grabbing his tip and smearing his pre-cum all over your clit. "Aren't you tired, baby?"

"Nope. We don't have to go all the way, though." You say, slipping his cock in between your legs, enough for it to glide smoothly back and forth between your pussy lips. A low groan emits from his lips, hand gripping onto your ass to keep you close. He sucks onto your bottom lip before biting down and pulling back.

"Always make me feel so good." He whispers, feeling your wetness spread across his length. It's almost embarrassing how quick you can make him cum just by doing this but god, it felt heaven sent. Just being with you, by you, all around you, felt heaven sent.

"I could at least do my part somehow, right?" You giggle, nipping at his chiseled jawline while rocking along his length, picking up your pace at the same time. He feels your tongue swipe against the surface across his throat, making Yoongi let out a moan that has him stressing—

"B-baby, gonna make me cum—fuck—" His pants getting heavier, cock twitching underneath you. You glide slowly, feeling his tip brush up against your clit before sliding back down before picking up your pace again.

"Gonna cum with you." You whisper, feeling yourself tipping over the edge with every move you make at this point. When Yoongi finally lets himself go, it's mid-kiss and he's having to grip your waist tightly as he releases white ribbons messily all over your legs and in between. You tremble in his grip, allowing yourself to fully let go as well while he holds you close.

"That felt so good, princess." He presses a kiss against your temple, holding you close to him as you come down from your own high. He grabs a few napkins from the nightstand to clean you both up nicely before he's tossing it into the trash can and shutting his eyes when his body crashes back onto the mattress.

"Yeah it did." You throw your leg over him as you lay on his chest and listen to his heartbeat slowing down. "Are you really gonna sleep?"

"Baby." He laughs. "Yes?! As much as I love you, you fucking wear me out. Sheesh." You chuckle.

"Fine."

"Goodnight. Expect me to wake you up bright and early though."

"Mhm." You tease as he kisses the top of your head. As promised, Yoongi does wake you up very bright and early for another round. And you loved these moments with him, you loved it even more now because he was yours and you were his. No more of that bullshit, that fuckbuddy-no-strings-attached-but-kinda-strings-attached grey area you both had going on for years.

It just felt right.

When the both of you split ways in the morning for work, you figured you'd visit him during his lunch just to spend more time with him [as if you didn't already]. Rissa calls you while you drive over to the parlor just as she makes her way to the airport as her work trip finally comes to an end.

Not only was Yoongi yours, but your bestfriend was finally coming home.

Yeah, shit felt right.

"You better tell him I'm coming over as soon as I reach the airport so I can tease the hell out of both of you."

"Yeah, yeah."

"I'm so happy. Fucking finally. I get to come home. I get to spend time with my bestfriend. I get to see her happy. Maybe I'll finally find somebody to mess with at Blissful Hands, too."

"Please." You laugh. "Don't even start."

"Can't promise." She squeals. "I'm excited. I'll text you as soon as I'm on my way over, alright?"

"Oh, you were serious?"

"Yeah I fucking was, you better make room for me. Yoongi can wait." You nod.

"Alright, alright. Speaking of him, I just got here. Have a safe flight, okay? I love you."

"I love you too!" You end the call and tuck your phone into your purse before heading into the establishment.

"Goodmorning Miss Y/N." Yannie smiles at you.

"Hey!"

"He's on his lunch in the back."

"Cool, thanks." You say, heading back towards Yoongi's room. On the way over, you see his colleagues getting ready for their own clients. One smiles at you [Taehyung or was it Namjoon?] while the other mumbles to him—

"Great, gonna have to hear him fuck her brains out again." Which you catch on the way to Yoongi's, making you giggle to yourself before you greet your man and shut the door behind you.

tags: @spideyjimin​ @miinoongi​ @thebeebi​ @ggukkieland​ @bluesharksandfish​ @unicornbabylover​ @preciouschimine​ @codeinebelle​ @shesoldbutcute​ @jikookiekosmos​ @awhnamjoon​ @namjooningelsewhere​ @bunnybearrj​ @babycoffeefire​ @bri-mal​ @sintaethick​ @taejkjoons​ @love2luvya-blog​ @pb-n-juju​ @dianaxnyc​ @fan-ati--c​ @jungjoonie​ @jcsmae​ @favouritesblog​ @ppeachyttae​ @awseokjin​ @jjk1iscoming​ @moonchild1​ @vantxx95​ @genzslayer​ @knjeuphoria​ @jksjx​ @oogawooga222 @yoonqki​ @halesandy​ @chimchimmarie​ @deliciousdetectivestranger​ @lookhere-2seok​ @persphonesorchid​

#bts #bts fanfiction #btsdreamcourt #xpeachesncream #yoongi fanfiction #min yoongi fanfiction #yoongi #min yoongi #myg x reader #bts suga x reader #bts masseur au #titillating touches collab #myg fluff #myg angst #myg smut #yoongi fluff #yoongi angst #yoongi smut #min yoongi fluff #min yoongi angst #min yoongi smut #nikki writes: sticks & stones one shot #btscarnivalnet

[frogyjones-writes]

Oh my goodness someone who takes Amanda requests. You’re my hero. Would you consider writing a reader who attempts to comfort and clean up Amanda after she self harms? A little of that hurt comfort “ you don’t deserve this” flavor perhaps

Ough I love this kind of angst, and you're welcome, how there isn't more Amanda x Reader content is a mystery to me.

Word count : 1,469

TW : SH / SELF HARM

Remember your health and safety comes first, don't read this if you know self harm makes you uncomfortable

You and Amanda have been together for awhile, after building a relationship up from a very... unstable foundation the two of you have made something together, something you plan to nurture and "renovate" when needed. You focus almost all of your attention on Amanda when you aren't out working or busy answering phone calls and emails. And even then you catch yourself thinking about her.

Amanda's always had a problem with self-sabotaging, bringing herself to her own downfall multiple times in her life. Nothings ever perfect, sometimes you two yell and argue at one another. Most of the time it's because Amanda can't trust the feeling of stability, thinking it'll just be another rug ripped from underneath her feet, leading her to fall into a pit of despair. You never get frustrated with her, and your patience just makes her even more frustrated. At that point you two just start to laugh about how ridiculous it all is. Pulling her close into a hug and pressing a kiss to her forehead.

" You're a bit of a drama queen sometimes you know that? " You'll say.

And she'll just push a palm to your mouth and tell you to hush, barley stifling her laugh.

You spin around in your swivel chair, checking your watch.

It reads: 8:35 pm

Were you ever going to get home?

You lean back and chew on your pen, trying to to bite down too hard after what happened last time. Your eyes flicker to the blue smudges that stain your hands even now.

Your terminal's screen has turned black from lack of use and you sigh, deciding that even if you tried to get anything else done tonight it'll probobly end up being shit. Pushing out from your office desk you stand and throw your bag over your shoulder, waving a bye to your other zombie faced coworkers who only nod in response.

You make it out to the parking lot, barley any cars were still there and you wondered why you didn't leave sooner. Shoving your way into the vehicle you really let yourself decompress, throwing your carry on off and turning on the car just to feel the cool air on your face. You pull up Amanda's contact in your phone, getting ready to call her as you turn the ignition on. You hear the dial tone ring a few times from where your phone is pressed between your cheek and shoulder.

She doesn't pick up, a bit weird considering you do this every night but who knows. She could be away from her phone, maybe taking a shower. You smile at the image that appears in your head. The voice-mail beeps.

" Uh- hey Mandy, I was stuck in the office all night today but I'm driving back now, see you soon, love you. Bye. "

You quickly hang up and focus on the road again, content knowing you'll come back home to your girlfriend's smiling face.

You try to keep your footfalls quiet as you make your way up the apartment building's creaky stairs, usually you'd never take this way because of how loud these damn steps are but the elevator is out of order again (piece of shit). Fumbling, and almost dropping your keys, you finally open the door to your shared apartment.

" Hey Manda, guess who's back! " You say, mirthfully. But there's no response in the dimly lit space.

You hang your jacket, leave your bag on the barstool and throw off your shoes in random directions. Making your way to the bedroom in the back of the apartment.

" Maybe she went to bed early? " you think, but when you open the door and see no one huddled up in bed, only clean folded white sheets, a feeling of dread crawls up your spine and buries itself in your mind.

" Amanda? " you prompt again, hoping for something to break the uncomfortable silence.

The once answer you receive is the sound of something metal rattling against the floor. Your head twists towards the sound, your eyes meeting the image of the closed bathroom door, light flickering through the gap at the bottom.

You step closer, your feet cast a shadow against the carpet.

" Amanda, sweetheart are you in there? "

You hear shifting, a sniff, and an objecting groan.

" Go away, I don't want you to see me right now. "

Her voice is hoarse, like she's been crying for hours while locked up in this bathroom. Either something scared her or... well only the worst could've happened.

" Is it bad? " you ask softly, resting your weight on your knees in front of the door.

She only whimpers in response.

" We don't have to talk about it, just let me clean you up okay? "

There's silence for a moment, then you hear her stand, watching the light from under the door become blocked out as she gets closer. The door unlocks and opens inward. She looks a mess, eyes puffy and wet, blood is trailing down her forearm to her palm, blood caked and dried under her nails.

You get back on your feet and gently guide her to sit back down on the toilet. It's awfully quiet besides her few sniffles here and there. You press a familiar kiss to her forehead before pulling away.

" I'm gonna grab the first aid kit, I'll be quick."

You quickly make your way to the kitchen and sort through the under sink cabinets, pulling out the red package and crossing the threshold back into the bathroom. Nobody ever wants to have to use one of these but this isn't the first time this has happened, early on in your relationship when you both were different people it was a lot more common. You pour out some antiseptic onto a cotton pad, turning towards Amanda again, gently taking her hand into yours.

" this is gonna sting. "

She nods instead of saying " I know. " having heard this many times before.

You press the pad against the fresh cuts, carefully wiping up the dried trails of blood, not wanting to pull at the irritated skin.

As you clean her up and bandage her arm you can't help but wonder what set her off. A nightmare, a flashback, a memory, someone on the street that looked a little too much like someone she used to know?

" It's all in the past now. " you say after finishing up the last roll of bandages. Amanda knows you don't just mean the cuts but well... everything really.

" I can't just forget about what happened, about what I did to all those people you know that. " She's speaking cooly, on the verge of spiraling into another meltdown if you don't say something else about it.

" I'm not asking you to forget, but hurting yourself won't fix anything. "

Her eyes flicker down to the floor, her eyebrows furrowed in frustration, in confusion. What is she supposed to do, with herself, with her life that will repent whatever sins she committed in her lifetime? And that list, she knows, is long.

You sigh softly, pressing the palm of your hand to her cheek, thumb stroking her gently under her eye.

" You're a different person now, don't let the you from before hurt you even after you've done so much to separate yourself from her."

She nods softly in understanding, mumbling a soft " okay. " and leaning forward, wrapping you up by your shoulders and leaning her head into the crook of your neck.

" You sound tired, let's get you to bed. "

You hoist her up, hooking your hands underneath the backs of her thighs, her legs wrapping up around your back while she's still hidden away in your shoulder. You carry her out of the bathroom and place her on your shared bed, letting her sink into the mattress.

You offer to help her into her pajamas, which she gratefully accepts. You begin to remove her clothes, pressing soft kisses to little bits of exposed skin, then placing a new article of clothing over her body. After she's ready for sleep you change out of your work clothes finally, slipping into your sleepwear and joining her in bed after brushing your teeth.

Never will you find yourself having to pay for another filling.

Slipping under the sheets you pull an already half asleep Amanda's back to your front, inhaling the soft scent of lingering shampoo in her hair.

" I love you Mandy, sleep tight"

" Love you too, sleep... " She trails off, her sentance infuriated by a quiet snoring.

You chuckle softly to yourself and shut your eyes. No matter what gets thrown at the two of you, you know you'll always be behind Amanda to catch her fall. And she, in turn, will do the same for you.

Because all you two really have is each other.

#writing requests #answers #asks #saw #saw x reader #sh #self harm #blood #slasher x reader #amanda young x reader #my fic

[lythea-creation]

Expectations - Shams x fem reader (Chapter 1)

summary: Being the only child of a prestiged father, (f/n) always has to worry about her image. Only Shams can completely take that burden off her shoulders for a while.

warnings: none

word count: 1.087

Author's note: Feel free to check out my Masterlists and make requests. No reposting please! Reblogging, comments and requests are always appreciated <3 If you like the story/my writing, please don't be shy to say it via comments or asks! It takes you a few seconds and might make my day. It's the best appreciation you can show to a writer you like.

Requested? No

------------------------

“Hey (f/n)!”, Tasneem greeted me as I was sitting on my seat and getting out my stuff. “I can't believe we're in the same class.”

I smiled at her and took a sip of water.

“So what do you think? Wanna make another tiktok together? The last one kinda blew up. Our followers seem to love it”, she noted.

“Sure”, I agreed. “But I'm meeting up with Omar later. So we gotta do it in the break.”

“Of course! Girl, I'm so jealous! Omar's literal boyfriend goals”, she declared.

“Make your move then”, I encouraged her.

“You're still just friends? Come on! Why?”, she wondered.

“Why not?”, I shot back. “Just because he's a decently hot guy and we've literally known each other for ages doesn't mean we have to become a couple.”

“It basically does though”, she claimed.

I had to suppress a groan at her statement. Why did everybody have to insist on that?

“Oh. Hitchcock's in our class”, Hiba announced as Shams entered the classroom.

Anger bubbled up inside of me. All I wanted to do was to stand up for Shams, but we had settled on avoiding each other at school as it might harm my image to be seen with her.

Luckily the topic shifted quickly when Sarah started talking to Tasneem.

So I decided to get a head start and began studying. After all I needed to keep up my good grades this term.

When the first day after the holidays was finally over, I could not wait to get to my favorite siblings.

I walked for a few minutes until I reached the meeting point where Shams picked me up with her bicycle.

“Ready to get home?”, she inquired with a grin.

“You have no idea”, I shot back and hurried onto the saddle.

I could easily not hold on without falling off, but I definitely would not waste this opportunity to hold onto Shams tightly, daring to lean against her.

“You're really pushing your luck, (f/n)”, she complained teasingly.

She was always claiming that she could not focus on keeping us driving when I was this close.

When we entered her home, the first thing we did was getting us a glass of ice water. It had somehow become a ritual whenever I came over because we used to stay out in the sun for far too long when we were kids, obviously dehydrating in the process.

Suddenly Omar walked into the kitchen as well.

“Why aren't you wearing a shirt?”, Shams questioned, frowning at her brother's naked upper body.

“I just came out of the shower”, he enlightened us.

An idea popped up in my mind and I could not help but act on it.

Before Omar realized what was happening I had fished and ice cube out of my glass and slipped it into his pants.

“Ah, you little ...”, he screamed out and jumped around due to the coldness. It was a hilarious sight and Shams breaking out in laughter was absolutely worth it.

“You're so gonna regret this”, he threatened me as soon as he got back to his senses.

I did not hesitate to run away as he was chasing me.

“Help”, I called out.

Of course, Shams supported me and made her brother trip over her foot, leading him to stumble to the ground.

“That's so not fair”, he grumbled and stayed down.

I exchanged a glance with Shams, who shook her head no.

After a while I warily approached Omar, feeling slightly guilty for pranking him and then teaming up against him. But that immediately changed when he took a hold of my ankle, then my wrist. He had caught me.

“(f/n), you're too naive sometimes”, Shams noted.

Before any of us could stop him, he grabbed my glass and emptied it over my head. Several ice cubes plus water as revenge for one.

“Omar!”, I cursed. “Have you gone crazy? Shit!”

Now he was the one laughing and out of the corner of my eyes I recognized that Shams was barely holding in her laughter as well.

“Oh no! You don't get to laugh at me”, I exclaimed and enveloped her in a hug.

“Ugh, guys! I didn't even do anything”, she reminded us as her clothes were soaked now.

“You just watched”, I remarked.

“Which you didn't complain about when you were the culprit”, she pointed out.

“Of course”, I agreed.

After a few seconds we all started laughing again. None of us could hold a grudge against each other for long.

“Let's get some dry clothes”, Shams suggested and pulled me to her room.

“Hey! I thought you were gonna hang out with me”, Omar interjected.

“You don't seriously expect me to stay like this”, I shot back.

“You can take my clothes”, he offered desperately.

“What's your problem?”, Shams wondered, still not letting go of my hand.

“Well … I may be her best friend, but you're her girlfriend. I know you both too well. As soon as she enters your room I'll be forgotten for at least the next hour”, he assumed.

“We're not THAT bad”, I claimed.

“How many stories do I need to tell you?”, he questioned.

“Okay, okay. We got it”, Shams stopped him. “She'll be right back.”

When we arrived in her room, Shams got some clothes for me and herself and then disappeared in the bathroom.

“Why are you doing that to me?”, I whined.

Hope was filling me when she opened the door, but she closed it again after throwing a towel in my face.

Defeated I began drying myself off and putting her clothes on. The fact that they were a bit too big for me was making it even more comfortable.

“I promised Omar we wouldn't take long”, Shams finally answered while getting out of the bathroom.

“I will let him wait a bit longer though”, she declared and pulled me into a passionate kiss that almost turned into a serious make-out session.

“Now go or I'll keep you”, she warned me.

I was just as reluctant to go as she was to let me. But I knew she was right. I was hanging out with Omar today, not with Shams. It would not be fair to let him down.

-------------------------

Next Chapter

Well ... I planned to write a Oneshot, but I couldn't help it and now I'm turning it into a series. Yeah, I know! Another Shams series ... I can't help myself. She's my favorite after all!

I hope you like the first chapter. Feel free to send me suggestions if you have any.

Btw I absolutely love that picture of Shams!

Tag List: @sunwoniie

#al rawabi school for girls #shams x reader #fem reader #lgbtqia #romance #fluff #female reader #tasneem #hiba #omar

[zoeykallus]

tbb x reader hcs - accidental “i love you” and what results from those three words…

you’re the best, thank you😊

Hmm, might be fun. Let me see....

The Bad Batch x Reader HC's - Accidental "I Love You"

Hunter

You say it

The first time you say it, it's an accident, you are not really a couple yet. You are flirting and hinting, the both of you, but so far you are not an item.

Hunter helps you out solving a problem with your blaster. You are tense and nervous, things have been going sideways for you for a while, and your stupid blaster just is the tip of the iceberg this week.

"Damn it!"

"What's the matter?", he asks calmly, approaching you.

You fumble with your blaster.

"It's not working again, I can't switch between stun and lethal"

You know today Crosshair will test you, he's training you on weapons, and he's a damn strict teacher. You really are not looking forward to his mocking when you fail again.

"Let me see"

Hunter takes the blaster, adjusts a few things and hands it back to you.

"There you go, should be working just fine"

You are so relieved, the words just come out of your mouth without thinking.

"Man, I love you!"

Hunter pauses, you do too.

"I mean... thank you, Hunter"

He smirks with a slight blush.

"Any time"

He says it

It was a hard mission, a hard day. Hunter is exhausted, feels beaten and not up for anything more today. But he knows, when he comes back, he has quite some things left to do before he can rest.

But as he comes back to the Marauder, sweaty, dirty and pretty much out of energy, you approach him.

"Hey, I took care of the problem we had with the refresher, and you got fresh blacks lying on your bunk. You can jump right in the refresher and get changed"

Hunter blinks, looking at you surprised as you hand him a thick sandwich and a water bottle.

"Here, I guess you need that now"

"I love you"

He needs a little to realize what he said, and you look into each other's eyes for a long moment.

Hunter is not taking it back or trying to explain himself, he's just looking at you, anxiously.

You smile shyly and say, "I feel the same about you"

Warmth spreads in his chest, and he smiles right back, before he steals you a kiss.

Echo

You say it

He is so sweet, helping you all day with everything. Echo is so considerate and helpful and caring. You can't help it, it just slips out at some point.

"I love you, Echo"

He turns around, looking at you.

"What was that?", he asks, confused.

Panic is rising in you. Should you try to lie or stand to what you just said? You kind of mean it, but then again it just slipped, feels too blunt.

"I...I..well, I said-"

"Hey Echo, need your help for a sec' ", Wrecker safes you unknowingly.

The moment Echo is distracted, you slip out of the room, down the ramp of the Marauder and run for it.

"In a moment", Echo says and turns back to you, only to see that you are gone.

"Where did they go that fast?"

You avoid talking to him about it and the sweetheart that he is, he won't push you either.

He says it

It's a bad day for Echo, another scan, a routine check-up, but he hates the med bay. The machines, the medical tools, the sterile environment, the narrow scan tube, it flares up bad memories and his severe anxiety.

You are there because Tech asked you too, quietly when Echo wasn't listening he whispered to you, "Do me a favor and be there for Echo's check-up. He's fond of you and I think you can calm him better than I can"

Of course, you help out. Seeing Echo so shaken and almost trembling makes you sad. But you smile and come closer to the stretcher he is lying on.

You softly grab his hand, and he looks at you.

"Tech and I are here. You know none of us would ever harm you"

He nods and shows you a brave little smile, but he's still tense, fear and restlessness bubbling under the surface.

As the stretcher, with Echo on it, started sliding into the scan tube, you had to let go of his hand, but Echo tried to hold on to it for a moment.

"It's okay, I'm still here, Echo. Just listen to my voice and breath Echo. Don't hold your breath, breath in and out"

He's stressed and breathing way too fast, the narrow tube making him panic.

"Echo, slow steady breaths, in and out. You are hyperventilating, just try to imagine you are in a warm bed, when you fall asleep. How is your breathing? Slow and steady, right?"

It takes a moment, but finally his pulse and breathing calm down.

"Very good, Echo. Just keep breathing. Remember that place on Naboo we saw last time we visited? That little restaurant near the river? Let's go there next time we get the chance. Remember how pretty it was? The soft whispering of the river's water, the sunlight reflecting from the water's surface. The flowers around the restaurant's porch. Must be a really nice view from that porch"

"Done", Tech says, and the stretcher slides back out of the tube.

Echo sits up, a little shaky. He grabs your hand as you are about to leave, because technically, your work here is done.

"Don't go!", he urges you hastily.

You turn back to him, coming closer. You softly lean your forehead against his, holding his hand, trying to show him you are there, grounding him.

"Okay, I'll stay with you, Echo"

"I love you"

You don't retreat, you know he needs you right now. With a fast beating heart, warmth spreading in your chest, you say, "I guess you meant to say 'thank you'"

Echo chuckles nervously, "I did. But what I said is still true. I'm sorry, I'm vulnerable right now, it slipped, couldn't hold it back"

Your heart beats even faster as you softly say, "I love you too"

Tech in the background silently retreats, feeling like an intruder to the scene. There was nothing to see on the scan anyway.

Wrecker

You say it

He's so amusing, making you laugh. Wrecker makes you feel so good today, so happy and playful and relaxed. That man just attracts you like a magnet, he's so easy and fun to be around.

"I love you"

Wrecker cocks an eyebrow at you.

"You do?"

"Well uhm..." panic rising in you, you try to wriggle your way out of this "Yeah, like a wonderful friend, you know"

Wrecker nods slowly, you are not sure if he's disappointed or not.

"Yeah sure, I feel the same way, like a really good friend, right?"

You laugh nervously and nod again.

"Exactly"

He clears his throat and says, "Friends can love each other, right?"

"Yes, absolutely"

"I love you too... friend", he says with a nervous little smirk.

He says it

You are having fun, all day Wrecker and you are joking around and in the evening, you decide to cook something for him. He is in awe about your cooking and the fact that you do it for him.

This time the famous three words, slip out of him instead of you.

"I love you!"

You blink and look at him.

"Like a friend, right?"

Wrecker scratches the back of his head, shrugging.

"Well, yeah. But also not"

"Meaning?"

He's fumbling with his fork, looking at his own fingers.

"There is more, it feels like more than friendship. I think. I didn't mean to burst it out like this but... it is true"

You smile at him shyly as he finally looks up again.

"I think I like that", you say softly.

Wrecker smiles back at you.

"You do?"

With a nod, you say, "I think I love you too. Not just like a friend"

"Oh, Mesh'la, you make me really happy", he says with a wide grin.

Tech

You say it

You do have a thing for Tech, you know it, everyone knows it. Tech is the only one who doesn't know it. So far, you didn't dare to tell him yet, or try anything to get really closer to him. But every time he looks at you, your heart skips a beat, and you get all warm and fuzzy.

"Stop!"

You freeze in your movement.

Tech comes to your side and softly takes the tool out of your hands you just picked up.

"You'll hurt yourself holding it like this", he says calmly.

"Oh, I didn't know"

He smiles softly and you melt inside.

"Look, I'll show you"

Inside you're all giddy, he touches you, he guides your hands to the tool, showing you how to hold it while he explains a few things. You just feel his touch, hear his voice, and he is so damn close. You can hear him talk, but your mind is far away from what he is saying, lost in your vivid daydreams about Tech.

As you stare up into his face with wide eyes, his gaze meets yours, and it just slips out of your mouth, "I love you"

"Excuse me?", he asks, confused.

You panic. The words were just in your head, but suddenly on your lips. Hastily, you drop the tool, turn on your heel and run to the ramp.

"What are you doing? You can't go out, we're in space, dear", Tech says dryly.

"Oh, right...kriff"

For a split second, you think about still opening the ramp and let yourself get sucked out into space to avoid facing him right now.

You just stare at the closed ramp, not daring to turn around and look at him. Pity, if you did, you'd see the slight blush on his face and the little soft smile.

He says it

Tech talks a lot in his sleep. His mind never really comes to rest, always active and working. By now, you are used to walking past his bunk and hear him mumble all kinds of things in his sleep. But when you hear him mumble your name, repeatedly, you stop and listen closely.

He's got his arms and legs wrapped around his blanket mumbling, "Love you, come and cuddle"

You look at him, surprised and in awe. Tech looks and sounds so cute.

He's hugging his blanket tight and keeps mumbling, sometimes you can hear your name, but most of it is gibberish. But suddenly, he blinks, slowly opening his eyes and looks at you.

"Why are you staring at me?", he asks, a little panicked.

"You said my name, Tech"

"No I didn't"

"Yes you did, in your sleep"

Tech's eyes are suddenly wide open and his cheeks blush.

"No, I didn't", he repeats.

"Yes, you... never mind. Sweet dreams, spider monkey"

You walk past him, and he looks after you with a racing heart.

Crosshair

You say it

He is on his self-made shooting range. You watch him like you do most times. Crosshair looks so stunning, with his rifle, hitting every target, handling the weapon like a master of his art.

You can't stop admiring him. He's got his back turned to you right now, but he knows you are there, giving you a show. Crosshair likes to show off a little, you know that, and you don't mind, he never fails to impress you.

You are aware you have a crush on him. He's attractive, he's smart, he's cool, and he's one hell of a soldier. But he is also pretty intimidating. That sinister stare, his snark and often aloof behavior makes you nervous.

You sigh softly and say, "God, I love that man"

He's freezing in his movement, then suddenly he slowly turns around.

Your first thought is, Oh shit, he heard me!

Crosshair is looking at you, there is absolutely no way to tell what he thinks right now. For a pretty long moment, he just looks at you, unmoved. When he suddenly cocks an eyebrow at you, you jump up from the rock you were sitting on and flee the scene.

He watches you leave in amusement, muttering to himself, "Hmm, interesting"

He says it

Nope. That's probably not going to happen. Not on accident. He is way too reserved and collected for something like this to happen. No matter how smitten he might be with you. If he says it, he does it fully aware, meaning what he says very seriously.

A not very likely, but at least possible scenario could be in a lovemaking session, when you've completely blown him away (Pun intended). He'll try to mask it somehow, or change the subject and distract you.

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

@rintheemolion

@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99

@brynhildrmimi @kaliel2310

@misogirl828 @tech-deck

@meshla-madalene

@chxpsi

@thebahdbitch

@nahoney22 @ladykatakuri

@darkangel4121

@ttzamara

@arctrooper69

@padawancat97

@agenteliix

@puppetswithteeth

@palliateclaws

@either-madness-or-brilliance

@ortizshinkaroff

@andy-solo1

@hunterssecretrecipe

@heyitsaloy

@greaser-wolf

@starwarsnerd111

#tbb #bad batch #clone headcanons #headcanon #tbb headcanons #star wars headcanons #hunter #echo #crosshair #tech #wrecker #x reader #tbb fic #tbb fanfiction #crosshair tbb #echo tbb #hunter tbb #star wars tbb #sw tbb #tbb crosshair #tbb crosshair x reader #tbb echo #tbb hunter #tbb hunter x reader #tbb tech #tbb tech x reader #tbb x reader #tbb wrecker #tech tbb #the bad batch

[twstmagica]

Magical Girl Yuu's First Day pt 2

It doesn't look like Fire Dude (Idia?) is gonna speak first

“So what did he mean by orientation?”

Muttering: “WTF are you stupid, how do you not know?”

“What was that”

“Ahhh, nothing”

Yuu gets the sneaking suspicion that this guy isn't going to be super helpful.

Fire Dude hunches further in on himself.

So orientation. That's like an introduction event for group stuff.

But what's with the robes?

Oh geez, is this a cult thing!?

Okay Yuu, gotta stay sharp. Play cool. Don't let him know you're onto them.

“Soooo will the leader be at orientation?”

Nailed it

“Huh?”

Did not nail it

Muttering: “what's with this weirdo.”

“Umm the headmaster will be there.”

bluff check passed

“Oki-doki, then I'll just save my questions for them. Please lead the way.”

Muttering: “I thought it couldn't get any worse than Malleus, but now I’m stuck with an escort quest for this newb.”

Well sorry Fire Dude. I didn't want to be kidnapped by your cult but sometimes these things happen.

They do eventually make it to a giant room with heck-ton of people in robes

Actually all these people seem to be guys.

Huh. That probably means something.

Yuu doesn't get a chance to ponder this mystery before a tall figure captures her attention.

Dressed differently from the others, this man has a snazzy tophat and bird mask hiding his identity, and wears a fancy suit and feathered jacket combo.

But the sleeves are hanging off his shoulders? Why not just wear a cape??

Uh oh. Bird-mask-top-hat man is heading straight for them.

Crowley is *!!!* at sight of the missing new student while Idia absconds the fuck out.

Fire Guy nooooo! We grew so close, why would you abandon me!?!

Birdman is gesticulating wildly as he talks.

“The nerve of kids these days!”

Ugh. This Birdman is squawking at Yuu about impatient students and she can't get a word in edgewise.

“I wasn't the one who-”

“Really, it seems each year students get worse!”

“No listen, there was this flaming raccoon-”

“Despite my hard work there's always something!”

“Bruh”

The child keeps trying to make excuses, but Crowley won't have any of it.

Fortunately the Headmaster of Night Raven is so generous, and only sends the delinquent to the back of the sorting line as punishment.

At this point Yuu is just going with the flow. Surely if the strange cult meant her harm they would be more menacing?

Yeah the birdman is super rude but he isn't actually hurting anyone. 

And if Yuu was listening right this is apparently some kind of school, so there should be staff or teachers around who can actually help.

Yuu figures she can just wait until another, less wacky adult, shows up.

Oh hey! Horn Guy from earlier is standing with Fire Dude and a few other fancier cultists (students?).

They make eye contact and Yuu smiles and gives a little wave

Horn Guy nods back with a slight smile.

Smile plus a nod means we’re basically allies now.

Yuu is pretty sure that's how this works. If this is a school then the same technique used for choosing a worksheet partner should apply here as well.

Meanwhile the other dorm leaders are wondering why tf this freshie is waving at The Malleus Draconia 

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst yuu #disney twst #twisted wonderland au #Magical Girl Yuu #she's about to go undercover #Night Raven Academy vs the cult allegations #Yuu still doesn't know Horn Guy's real name #She won't be finding out for a while #Idia wants to leave #Ortho is THRILLED #twst writing #twst drabble

[jelzorz]

160.

inspired by a single line from @raayllum's the purpose of a knight

It's only a cold, claims Opeli. Nothing she can't handle, nothing she hasn't worked through in the past, and to her credit, she had looked mostly fine. Soren will give her that much. He'd only noticed to begin with because he's grown so used to her. Callum and Ezran and Rayla don't--they're their own little trio, caught up too often in each other's dramas and emotions that they forget, sometimes, to take in the drama around them. In any case, it's not like Opeli has made it easy: she's been very good at making everything around them look and feel fine, and, for some reason, is insistent that this is her job and her job alone. She doesn't take breaks, and she's obviously doing too much, and she refuses help too often, so of course this was going to happen, and well.

This is how Soren finds himself tending to her in her chambers while she fights off a fever that has her shivering in the summer heat.

"I don't think this is a cold, Opeli."

She grimaces and has the grace not to deny it. "I think you may be right," she grumbles. The way she pouts about it would be funny if she weren't huddled sadly under her sheets. "My apologies."

Soren raises an eyebrow at her. "For being wrong?"

"For being sick," she corrects. She shifts guiltily under the covers and accepts the cup of tea that he hands her--lemon, honey, and a little ginger for her sinuses, cooked up specifically for her by Barius who's been all but pestering her to just sit down for weeks. "I've left you all in a lurch, and there's so much to do."

Soren makes a face at her. "Are you being serious right now?"

She makes one back. "I'm certainly not joking," she grumbles, although whatever indignance she meant is lost when she sneezes and almost spills her tea. "Ugh, excuse me. What poor timing, I'm so sorry."

Soren presses his lips together, borderline offended that she thinks anyone would care about the work more than her health. "Stop that," he scolds. "Sources, Opeli, no one blames you for being sick. You work harder than anyone else in the castle, it's amazing you're not sick more often!"

She smirks weakly over her tea and sits up a little straighter, wincing the whole way. "Just unlucky this year, I suppose. Regardless, I'll be fine. Let Ezran know I'll be back tomorrow. I just need the day."

"Um. No." Soren crosses his arms over his chest and frowns, which is an odd and kind of funny role reversal: usually she is the one being disapproving of his shenanigans. "You're going to stay in bed until your fever breaks, and then you're going to take the rest of the week off to rest."

Opeli gives him a look. "Are you a physician now?"

"I'm Ezran's Crownguard, and my duty is to the Crown."

She snorts at him. "I am decidedly not the Crown, Soren."

"No, but Ezran is, and if you make him sick with whatever the hell you've got, I'll have you kicked off the council."

There's a pause. Opeli makes a face so shocked and so scandalized that Soren has to bite back the laugh rising in his throat. He smirks at her, victorious, and waits, daring her to argue against the health and safety of her King.

"I won't let you harm the Crown, Opeli," he lilts, enjoying her frustration maybe a little too much.

"I would never," snaps Opeli.

"Then rest," says Soren, uncrossing his arms to push her back into bed by the shoulders. "Please. I am begging you to just--let yourself recover, and if you're going to refuse to do it for yourself, then do it for Ez. I'm not above accusing of treason if you don't. I mean it."

"But--"

"I mean it." (He doesn't, and she knows this, but the point still stands).

Opeli scowls and slurps at her tea, frustrated but defeated all the same. "Does it have to be the whole week?"

"It has to be the whole week," says Soren decisively. "I'll come and check on you personally and bring you your tea and stuff just to make sure. You and Zubeia, Moon and Stars..." He shakes his head. "Just, like." He huffs. "You work too hard. You gotta let us look after you too. Okay?"

He expects her to be furious about it. He half expects her to get out of bed and accuse him of treason or something--but in the end, Opeli ducks her head over her tea and sighs.

"Fine," she mutters. "One week."

"One week." Soren tilts his lips upwards at last and pats her shoulder for good measure. "I'll check back in in a bit, yeah?"

"Okay." Opeli grumbles a little bit more over her tea, but she doesn't protest, and when Soren turns to go, she sighs. "Thank you," she says, resigned. "I appreciate the effort."

Soren grins. "Any time," he says. (He does mean that, and he knows she knows it).

#in anticipation #soren&opeli brotp #sorpeli #sorry not sorry #also yeah opeli my girl sit the fuck down and rest for like one second

[mj-iza-writer]

Trigger Warning: Whumpee is encouraged to self harm and self mutilate. Cutting with glass. Probably has some gore inspo as well. Swearing. You've been warned.

Whumper decided to enjoy their lunch in their car. They took the chance of solitude to log their computer into their in-house surveillance system to check on Whumpee and the chores.

Camera one pointed to the to-do list of chores Whumpee had for the day. They were to check off what was done already and to keep on task.

"Well, you're doing pretty good", Whumper started to click through the other cameras, and finally found Whumpee in the kitchen... cleaning up glass."

"Shit, is that my wine glass?", Whumper pulled out their cell phone and dialed the house landline.

Whumpee froze when the phone range, chills went up their back as they turned to the camera.

"Yeah, I see you, answer the damn phone", Whumper frowned.

Whumpee picked up the phone with a quiver in their lip.

"Master I..."

"What the fuck happened to my glass", Whumper cut them off.

"I'm sorry master, I was doing dishes, and it slipped from my hand onto the counter and shattered, please forgive me."

Whumper groaned, "now what am I supposed to drink wine from? That was my only one, and my favorite."

"I-I'm sorry master, please, it was an accident", Whumpee looked dead at the camera while talking to Whumper. They were visibly shaking.

"I know it was an accident, but you know what has to be done", Whumper smirked when Whumpee's shoulders dropped even lower.

"Please master, I-I can't", Whumpee started to cry.

"You either do it now, or you will not like what I come home and do to you, make your choice quickly, you are wasting my lunch", Whumper watched the video feed, "I might remind you, I still have half a day at work. I'll have plenty of time to think of your punishment if you don't punish yourself for me."

Whumpee whimpered.

"What do you want me to do master."

"Find the biggest chunk of glass from the pieces, and show me what it looks like", Whumper sighed and watched Whumpee.

Whumpee returned to the camera holding two pieces of broken glass, and showed them to the camera.

"Master, these are the biggest, which would you prefer?", Whumpee held their breath trying to control their shakiness.

"Use the one in your left hand", Whumper liked how jagged it looked, "lift your shirt, I think you know the rest."

"How many times master", Whumpee winced.

"Since it was accidentally, I will let you get away with one cut, but you better make it count", Whumper grinned.

Whumpee shook, "th-thank-you mas-master ff-or for y-our mer mercy."

"Your welcome, now go on, my lunch is almost over", Whumper grabbed a cookie that Whumpee had packed them, "thanks for the cookie by the way."

"You're wel, welcome mas-master", Whumpee looked down as they held the glass shard against their stomach, "master may I set down the phone to do this?"

"Yes you may."

Whumpee looked up at the ceiling, took a breath, and sliced the glass across their stomach.

They groaned as the blood started to ooze from the wound. Their breathing shallow, deeper breaths made the bleeding worse. They fell to the ground in pain.

Whumpee reached for the phone again, "did that please you master?", they winced on the brink of tears.

"Stand up, let me see", Whumper eyed the cut as Whumpee stood.

"Yes that is sufficient", Whumper smiled, "now put your shirt down and press it against the wound, use your shirt to stop the bleeding."

Whumpee cried as they pressed their shirt against the wound and added pressure. The bleeding quickly seeped through to their fingers. They felt dizzy at the sight of the blood.

"Very good Whumpee, you may clean your wound if you wish, but don't change your shirt", Whumper stuffed the last bit of their sandwich in their mouth, "I want to see it when I get home. Finish cleaning the glass and any blood you left."

"Yes, yes mas-master", Whumpee tried to force a smile, "I am sorry again for my mistakes, thankyou for being merciful to me", they forced out.

"Your welcome. I'm glad we took care of that", Whumper started to get ready to go back to work, "I'll be home the normal time, I've got to go."

"Yes master, goodbye", Whumpee hung up, then fell to the floor again, figuring Whumper was still watching.

They tried to calm themself, they held their hand to their stomach again, and winced when they still had a handful of blood.

They looked at the floor and noticed some blood had dripped out.

"I'm making a mess", they shook.

They rushed to clean themself up, then cleaned the kitchen. The other chores were a bit more difficult with the cut. Thankfully, they managed to finish fifteen minutes before Whumper got home. Plenty of time to start dinner.

Whumper came into the house holding a bag.

"Whumpee?"

"Master, welcome home", Whumpee walked out of the kitchen, and bowed, making sure to hold onto their stomach, "dinner is cooking."

"Great, I stopped and got me a new wine glass, I'll need you to clean it while I eat, you can eat after that", Whumper handed it to them, "please don't break it."

Whumpee reached for it, "yes master."

Whumper followed them into the kitchen and waited for a minute before reaching their hand under Whumpee's shirt.

"Set the glass down and turn to me", they whispered closely to Whumpee's ear.

Whumpee carefully set the glass down, then turned to Whumper.

"It still feels fresh, its sticking to the wound", Whumper smiled then forced the shirt up.

Whumpee screamed in pain, a tear formed in their eye.

"I thought you said what I did was sufficient enough for the punishment master", Whumpee sobbed.

"It was, that had to be removed somehow, you can't let it stick to it the open wound", Whumper looked at the cut happily, "why are you questioning me?"

Whumpee gulped, realizing they accidentally spoke out of term.

"Master I-I'm sorry", Whumpee wasn't sure if they should fall to the floor and beg, or wait for Whumper to do what they pleased.

"Fix my dinner, clean my glass, I'll stew over what to do with you while I eat", Whumper grinned as they exited the kitchen.

Whumpee rushed to finish the food and served Whumper, then cleaned the wine glass.

"Master which wine would you like me to get for you", Whumpee tried to earn some brownie points.

"My normal, put it in my living room with the glass, I'll enjoy some after I finish up with you", Whumper grinned, "don't think I've forgotten."

"Yes master of course", Whumpee went to retrieve the wine, and set it up how Whumper liked.

"May I prepare something to eat master, or would you like me to wait", Whumpee bowed.

"No, I think part of your punishment for talking back will be to miss your dinner. May it remind you that I own you", Whumper smiled as they ate their dinner, they eyed Whumpee, "you did a good job on this meal though."

"Th-thankyou master", Whumpee replied, trying to hide their heartbreak.

"Okay, clean this up, and meet me in the living room", Whumper stood and made their way out.

"Yes master", Whumpee started to clean. They noticed a few morsels of food on the plate, they stared at the plate, licking their lips. Something inside them dared them to eat it.

They jumped when they saw Whumper in the doorway watching, "are you going to do it or not, I'll readjust your punishment tonight, and deny you dinner tomorrow as well. Is it worth it?

Whumpee looked at the plate, then back at Whumper, "no master forgive me."

Whumpee made their way to the living room once the had finished cleaning. Their stomach rumbles making the cut feel worse. They sighed,

Whumper was just pouring their wine, when Whumpee entered the room. They waited for their next command.

"Good, come here, and lay on the ground right under my feet", Whumper drew the area with their foot.

"Do you wish for me to lay on my back, or my stomach master?", Whumpee stepped towards Whumper.

"Lay on your back", Whumper smiled, and took a sip, "did you notice I managed to find a glass like the one you broke?"

"Yes master", Whumpee winced as they laid down, "how would you like my arms?"

"Go ahead and raise them above your head", Whumper watched Whumpee slowly move their arms. They used their foot to push the arms down faster, "I'm growing old watching you."

"I apologize master", Whumpee winced, "it hurts."

Whumper lifted their feet and rested them on Whumpee's stomach, putting pressure onto the cut, "you don't say."

Whumpee cried out as pressure was continually added. "Please master, I beg of you, please no more."

Whumper leaned back and sipped on their wine, "mm, so good."

Whumpee gasped as Whumper rested their feet at a different spot on their chest.

"Thankyou master", Whumpee winced.

"Next time you dare to talk back to me, keep this moment in mind. You are a slave, a doormat, a punching bag. You have no right to control what goes on with your body. I control you."

Whumper dug their heel back into Whumpee's stomach.

Whumpee's breath hitched with the pain.

"Am I clear?", Whumper questioned.

"Yes", Whumpee cried out, "yes master."

"Very good."

Whumpee lay their the rest of the evening as a foot rest. They would whimper every time Whumper threateningly hovered their fooy over the spot.

"Go prepare my prepare my bed", Whumper lifted his feet and watched Whumpee get up, "do your nightly chores, then you can go to bed."

"Yes master", Whumpee hurried out of the room.

When Whumpee was finally able to sleep they turned for a little while trying to get comfortable. They finally found the right position and snoozed off into a hunger dream.

Taglist: as always please let me know if you want to be added or taken off of the list. It's not a problem at all. @villainsandheroes @the-beasts-have-arrived @sacredwrath @porschethemermaid

#whump community #whump stuff #whump writing #whump ideas #whumpee #whump #whump scenario #whumper

[niuniente]

Catching up on tumblr and read your post about Sergei Dragunov's message of survival! May I ask what other characters from any fandoms are also acting as messengers for you?

There are so, so many from the past almost 20 years when I started to do this and connect the dots! Some of the characters are still questions marks with their messages but it's part of the fun to patiently figure them out - and, if there's none, then there's none and that's okay.

I'm going to introduce a few ones only so this list won't get too long.

Dante (Devil May Cry) Dante represents a time of transition, when the old isn't here anymore but the new hasn't arrived yet either. This is because he himself is a half-devil, half-human and thus doesn't really belong to either side. This transition is pretty much always something which takes me from old to new in a way that there's no returning back to the old. It's always a positive transition. For example, I started to see him around a lot before a surgery I didn't know I needed but which improved my life's quality afterwards. And, also, 5 months before I knew I was going to apply for a school and get accepted in.

Vergil (Devil May Cry) Vergil is a sort of a newcomer who very rarely appears. His message is a total transformation where the old completely dies and a new phase begins. Like the Phoenix. Where his brother Dante predicts a transformation in some field, Vergil predicts full scale transformation, which is inevitable. Multiple things will change at the same time but this purging is necessary and beneficial.

Hwoarang (Tekken) Hwoarang was a very close "guide" when I was younger. His message is that keep your eyes on the price/goal but don't force it as higher forces are at play, too. Stay humble to know when to step back but don't let the inner fire for your goal and ambitions disappear. The moment of pause is only a moment of pause. This is because Hwoarang goes after whatever the hell he wants, even breaking rules and law, but bring in his master Baek (the higher force) and he immediately knows his place.

Reno (Final Fantasy VII) Reno used to be around a lot more when I was in my twenties, worried about my career and work life. He sometimes appears to kick my ass but I'm happy I need his services a lot less now lol. This is because Reno's message is confidence as you are in a work environment. And ONLY in the work environment! Doesn't matter how you look like, doesn't matter how you are. Just be yourself. You will succeed and find the people who appreciate what you have got to give to your work field. This is Reno's message because despite his attitude, looks and the way he "violates" the workplace dress code, he is still 2nd in command right after his boss.

Daiki Aomine (Kuroko no Basket) Aomine is bold, 100% confidence with no hesitation, because the only one who can beat Aomine is Aomine himself - according to him. So, why do you stand on your own way, trip your on feet and give up? No one can beat you but you - go for it! Know your worth and give credit to your talents.

Grimmjow (Bleach) Grimmjow is titled as The King in Bleach so he represents ultimate rule over your own life and your own actions. You do you and don't give a shit what others want from you or what they think about you. His message isn't aimed to anything particular but it's more of a call to embody that self-sufficient regal energy, where anyone who crosses your path and says "No you can't" is nothing but a whining bastard. His the "Take No Shit" part from the motto Do No Harm, Take No Shit.

Sergei Dargunov (Tekken) Adding Dragunov here, too, if someone missed the original post. Dragunov represents (and predicts) ultimate survival in an extreme environment where my future - from a logical point of view - is heavily threatened. Like, to that degree that IF things don't work out (soon!), I will not survive. Keep your calm, keep your emotions in check as there's no need to panic, even if the world around you was on fire. The fire will not catch you. This is because when I think about Dragunov, I feel that he will survive anything. Drop an atom bomb over him and he probably just walks away from it with some dust on him, unharmed. Then, he goes to mind his own business and assemble his pink toy tanks. I think that such a notion is a small extra; have some sense of humor, even when the world burns. There are still nice things out there to enjoy of right now.

I'm currently trying to figure out Jessica Rabbit and Fran from FFXII, who has been my faves for a really long time. Most of the guides are men because I'm naturally more comfortable and at ease in masculine energy (a psychic once noted that my energy is, at the moment, more aligned with the divine masculine - one of my current lessons is to turn that to the divine feminine, which is extremely strong on my astrological chart. I just haven't been able to tap into it yet but I'm getting there!)

#ask niu #spiritual

[lavishlyleo]

The Truth About Venus and Why it Can't be exalted in Cancer

My retake on the Cancer vs Pisces : Who should Venus really be exalted in? post.

I've read almost all the responses under this post talking about how Venus makes more sense exalted in Pisces, and although I still stand by some of my previous claims, I do have to say I may of had a change of heart.

Yall brought up some really good points, it made a lot sense and fit the narrative I didn't see before, which is what Venus actually represents in a person's chart.

A lot of you guys worded it a lot better than I could, but to basically give a summary of what everyone said that I agree with is that while Venus does represent relationships of any kind, money, art, indulgence, ect, Venus is about what we want, not what we need. It's about things that make us happy in the moment and we crave more and more of it because we can never get enough of it and it's not truly fulfilling, it's just things that give us cheap thrills.

In this light, I can see how Venus is a lower octave of Neptune because both are related to addiction, art, indulgence and idolization. Pisces is ruled by Neptune the planet of addictions, what our generation dreams and fantasizes about, what kind of art and symbolism our generation enjoys, and what we're delusional about. It's about what makes our generation happy, but not fulfilled. Venus relates to a singular person at a time in this regard, where as Neptune has to do more with a generation, but both are essentially about the same things.

Venus is about what makes us artificially happy in the sense that Venus is like candy and sweets; Yeah it taste good and we want more, but it's not bringing us much nutritional value or anything, and in big amounts it's harmful to us. Where as the Moon is like a full course dinner, yeah we like it, maybe not to the degree of the candy, but it fills us up, satiates our hunger, and keeps us more fulfilled than the candy.

Cancer, as a sign, strives for that longevity of nourishment and emotional happiness, it will go through unpleasant times, trials and errors until they found the one. They do not love freely and only invest their time and emotions into something they know will pay off for them in the long run. If you just so happened to be the one, they will love you what seems like endlessly and show a devotion like no other, however it is likely if you did not match up to their ideals or check off the boxes for them, they would not love you the way they do, which like someone said in the comments, it's conditioned love, it's love at a cost.

Venus loves freely without attachment to anything, taking and loving freely as it pleases and doesn't want to worry about the longterm consequences, it's all about satiating that urge in the moment. Something Cancer is not about, they are worriers of the future and things will impact them later.

I never really looked at Venus in this light before but it does make sense, and I'm surprised I didn't see it sooner. Either way, these are the main reasons to me now why it isn't exalted in Cancer, and why Venus is not all it seems.

However these are just my thoughts, what do yall think Venus should be exalted in? Is there anything else you think Venus is about? What does Venus and the Moon mean to you? Let me know your thoughts💕

Here's the post in question ⤵️

Heyy! This is gonna be the first post on here with my art in it!💖💕

His name is Nitro Nexus💕

But his drag name is Lexi Rexha💕

This will probably be a character featured in a lot of my art. He is my oc/persona💕

You can find more of my art here ⤵️

🌸 My Instagram 🌸

#astrology observations #astro notes #astrology #astro community #astrovations #venus signs #venus astrology #8th house #10th house #12th house #rising sign #mars astrology #pisces venus #cancer venus #venus persona chart #venus synastry #moon astrology #moon aspects #moon signs #venus aspects #cancer #pisces #astro observations #astro placements #4th house #lavishly leo #nitro nexus #persona chart #neptune astrology #neptune

[randomgooberness]

This is in reference to the one post where Gordon gets all embarrassed for talkin like a kid (and maybe I missed something) But does Freemind sign "sorry", or say it out loud? I'm so curious if ya'll have a reason for how or why Mind signs, or the fact that Gordon can even UNDERSTAND it !!

(ask is referencing this post)

TYSM FOR THIS ASK! WE HAVE A LOT TO SAY ON IT LMAO. @shineyfish 's answer: MIND SIGNS IT HE LOVES LANGUAGES!!! there's lots of points in Freeman's Mind where he speaks in different languages or references shit to do with that so it's a big hc of mine that he knows how to speak a bunch of different languages. Can't have prior potentially talking shit about him, and you can't talk shit about him if he always knows what you're saying! Hilariously to me though is that he Canonically doesn't know Morse code. Sign language in particular I feel like he'd know because it's a language where you don't need to speak to use it. That's perfect for anything where you need to be silent, for example, being in Panama with your buddy Eddie and you don't want to get caught.

My answer:

From Gordons POV, in my headcanons, he grew up learning sign language because of his autism- it made it easier for him to communicate nonverbally, especially because he was mostly mute for the first few years of his life(to which when he was like 7 or 8 he switched to never shutting up LMAO). Gordon couldn't actually understand that specific moment where Mind signed, because he wasn't facing him and was moving, so he didn't really see it- just a bit of movement(hence why he's confused in the comic). However, there IS a scene that took place a day or so prior(in act 1, that comic is in early act 2) that had them using it. I shared a small screenshot of the scene because it was really funny to me, but Ace agreed to let me edit it up and post the full segment here! Have a treat :D

This takes place after they get outside for the first time and run from the airstrikes- and go into the vents with the skeleton and the sweet voice.

WARNING FOR: ableism(internalized and external) and (technically)self-harm

"It can't be THAT hard to fly a fuckin plane!"

Mind laughed, half joking with that as he moved forward. 

It didn't take long until he was whining again.

"Why are so many people trying to kill me?? I'm awesome! Are they jealous?"

He didn't have enough bullets for all of them at the rate they were going at. The military should give peace a chance, or at least stand still.

"I'm calling dibs on the med station."

"Go ahead," Gordon chuckled. "Yeah, I think they're just jealous of you. They uh. They think the Science Team is too sexy to live." He wheezed.

"YES!"

Mind hooked himself up the the med station, silently begging the thing for what he wanted.

The med station, checking his vitals and seeing he wasn't mortally injured, did not give him any morphine.

"NO!"

He rested his head against the thing as it appropriately treated his more minor injuries. He didn't want to say he was getting desperate, because he wasn't, and if you thought that you were wrong, but... It was hard to be sober around this place.

He laughed joylessly.

"They've got it all wrong. We're actually too sexy to die."

"Exactly!" Gordon laughed, clapping his hands. "Let's uh, c'mon, Bubby I- dude what are you charging in the HEV suit station." 

"My MP3 player." Bubby said.

"What?" 

"Don't tell anyone~!" 

"...Okay," Gordon wheezed. "Is that what's playing the Russian speaking?" 

"The what?" Bubby looked...genuinely confused by that question. "No?" 

"What speaking?" Dr. Coomer tilted his head. Gordon sighed. 

"...Nothing. Let's move on." 

Whatever the fuck Gordon was talking about, Mind was a little concerned about it. Being overly Paranoid that you're seeing things can be good when you need to look for enemies, but hearing things that aren't there? That could be a problem.

Whatever. It wasn't too much of a problem right now, and they still had hallways to go through for a second time. He never wants to look at a hallway ever again. His headache was a little worse, and now that the noise was muffled he had a ringing in his ears. 

"Why do you get an MP3 player?? And why does the HEV station charge it??"

"I want to listen to my tunes," Bubby said. "The HEV station charges anything." 

"I use it for my bionic body!" Dr. Coomer nodded. 

Gordon rounded over to a vent nearby. From it, odd humming and whistling could be heard- alien sounding. Like the Sweet Voice. He pulled out his gun and headed inside. Mind heard it too, flinching. 

"...No. no, it's dead, we watched the bitch get torn apart by the doors, there's no way it survived that. I'm either just imagining that, which is concerning, or mistaking the sound..." 

He didn't seem to be talking to anyone, although kept his gun ready as he spoke. 

If nothing could kill that- that thing, then... "We really are fucked."

"No...No, I'm hearing it too, man," Gordon muttered. He was shocked that this vent was big enough to stand in, and walked cautiously. "...Maybe there's more like him here? I mean, it's called the Black Mesa Sweet Voice- it might...I dunno. We'll see. Maybe it's friendly."

"I doubt that, if Mall-cop was anything to go off of, it'll be irritating at best."

Following close behind Gordon, gun at the ready, he could feel his heartbeat. Something about the mere thought of seeing that thing again sent a spike of fear through him.

"At worst? I don't think I want to know."

"Yeah," Gordon laughed. "I'm tryin' uh. To be an optimist. Sucks." 

"That's the problem, optimism gets you nowhere in the long run. At some point, you need to cut your losses and start breaking shit."

"It sounds, friendly," Tommy spoke up. 

"Oh, right- you can read it.” Gordon perked up, looking at the taller scientist. “What's it saying right now?" 

"Umm..." Tommy tried to focus. "I-I dunno, I can't really tell without the- without the colors." 

"Oh, okay. We'll see in a bit, then." 

They rounded a corner, and Gordon noticed a figure. 

"Wait for my word, do not shoot." 

A flash from a camera behind them. 

"Don't take pictures flash photography scares him."

They got a little closer, and the figure was still hard to see in the dark. 

"...Hello?" Gordon called. 

A small buzz emitted from it, and then a few lower ones, purple. Gordon got closer, and sucked air between his teeth when he noticed it was a fucking skeleton. 

"...Do you know what that is?" He whispered to Tommy, who shrugged.

As they turned the corner, Mind kept his grip on his gun, assuming it to be an army recruit. He couldn't make out a weapon, but he wasn't taking any chances on that. 

He didn't believe his eyes when he saw it properly.

Option one, he was hallucinating. This was bad for the obvious reasons, but he was skeptical on that because the others were clearly seeing it too.

Option two, there was a real, living, sweet voice using skeleton in front of him. This was almost worse, because it immediately made him worry about Benrey. He watched him die. Now he wasn't so sure.

Option three, group hysteria. He wasn't certain on this one. 

"... I'm not seeing that. There is no way I am seeing that."

"...I think we are," Gordon stammered, eyes huge. 

The skeleton made a few more noises, sort of like a guitar plucking. 

"Stay back- stay back staaay back-" It was hard to tell if Gordon was talking to the skeleton, or to The Science Team. "...You guys have any ideas?" 

"...I could always punch it," Dr. Coomer tilted his head, though he didn't seem so sure. 

The skeleton whistled a few times, a soft, odd noise, before it made a honk noise. 

"...Okay, on three, we rush it," Gordon muttered. "God, I'm scared-"

Tommy perked up. 

"Wait, no!" He cried.

"What?! What?! Do you know what it is!?" 

"That's green!" Tommy asserted. 

"What does green mean!?" 

"Green means he's not mean!"

"So-" 

Gordon was interrupted by repeated whistling and buzzing, a flail of colors appearing. 

"What does that mean-" He choked. "What is he saying?!"

And then, suddenly, the skeleton reached a high pitch that continued on and on, and it was deafening, bouncing against the metal of the vents they were in and stabbing into their ears.

Mind almost dropped his gun, rushing to cover his ears. Too LOUD. Too MUCH. 

"SsHHHHUUTT UP SHUT UP, BE QUIET!!" 

"OW- FUCK-!" Gordon yelped, now covering his own ears. 

It hurt. It hurt. Mind felt like his brain was melting, and without thinking he started shooting blindly at the thing, eyes squeezed shut and ears awkwardly pressed between his free hand and his shoulder. 

He needed this thing dead... Again. 

Unfortunately, he didn't think about the current location they were in, and the gunshots only echoed in the vents alongside the creature. He really should have brought his earplugs to work, but they might not have done much for whatever fresh hell this was.

"JUST KILL IT I CANT HANDLE IT-!" Bubby screeched. Gordon, as if he were an attack dog, started bolting toward the thing with a shout- leading the way as the rest of the team followed. 

The skeleton, who didn't react much to the bullets, started running as well.

Mind squinted his eyes open, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes as he did, and saw the group running. Unbearable physical pain be damned, he ran after them, not wanting to be left behind.

He needed to make sure that thing stopped existing, even if the process of doing so was going to make him want to commit atrocities... More than usual.

Bubby raced ahead of Gordon and took out-  ...oh god that was an RPG.

Before anyone could say anything, the trigger was pulled, and a rocket blasted through the vents before exploding against the metal, sending a blast of heat and deafening ringing toward everyone.

...And, not only did it not break the vents they were in, but Gordon and the rest seemed to not even care, locked on their target.

Mind, who had uncovered his ears, deciding to just grin and bear it until the thing was dead, caught the full sound of the explosion. 

In almost an instant his body decided enough was enough, and he screeched, falling to his knees and covering his ears, gun forgotten beside him. His palms were pressed hard enough to hurt, and he was almost certain that when he took them away, the imprint of the gloves would be on his face. 

He didn't care. He just needed the ringing to stop. 

He didn't even notice the tears falling until he took a breath, shaky and broken, and heard himself sob. What filled his chest at that was a red-hot shame. What kind of idiot couldn't handle a little bit of noise? Even at that, he didn't need to cry at it, he was being pathetic. He was sure of it, nobody else could see him like this.

The gunshots were muffled and distant, still ringing through the vents as they got further and further away- much louder than a scream, a loud, panicked conversation, and then a bit of talking. 

The first thing Mind properly heard was footsteps and Gordon's voice.

"God, where is he- shit I hope he's okay-"

The large man turned the corner, and perked up, before racing over and sliding on his knees- he immediately put a hand on his shoulder. 

"Woah- heyheyheyhey- are you alright!?"

Without thinking, Mind HISSED at the guy, immediately scratching and pushing the guy away. Space, he needed space, don't look at him-

"GGET THE- GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" 

His voice is rough from sobbing, but there's a significant growl to it. 

"IF YOU COME ANY- A-ANY CLOSER I WILL NOT HHHESITATE TO BITE YOU." 

For a split second he looked Gordon in the eyes, and his own were full of fear. It wasn’t for long though, as he very quickly covered his face, scratching at his eyes with a screech in an attempt to make everything less.

"Woah-! Hey-" Gordon backed up, eyes huge. 

He didn't know what to do here- granted, he barely understood what was going on, but he had a feeling this might be related to all the noise from earlier. He himself fucking hated it, but he went into a tunnel vision trying to kill the damn skeleton as a way to cope- and regretted it, because it meant he left Mind alone. Not to mention, his ears were still ringing. 

He backed up a bit more, and sat down across from Mind, face twisted in worry. 

"Hey, keep your- don't touch your face, man."

"I'LL DO WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT!"

There was too many people looking at him, he could feel it-

He hated these stupid gloves and their protective rubber, dragging them over his face just left a dull ache. If he didn't have them on he'd be able to be done with this, the sting from his nails usually tipped it over the edge for him and his stupid brain would start to calm down again. Sure, he normally had to hide the marks until they faded when he was at work, but it's the middle of an alien apocalypse, was he not allowed ONE source of relief in this hell?

After another attempt, he sobbed again, taking his hands down and looking at Gordon with a tear-streaked face. He looked tired. He felt tired. He didn't want to be here anymore.

Gordon frowned, shrinking a bit as he watched him. 

He was a little scared, honestly- he didn't want this guy to suddenly snap and decide he was an enemy. He didn't...entirely trust anyone here, but that trust was building, at least a little. 

He didn't know why he was starting to trust these people, despite how fucking stupid they all acted, or how mean to him they tended to be. He already sort of considered them friends, and hoped they could all still talk after all this was over. 

Naturally, this was scary to see, because of that. But he decided friends should trust and support one another- that's what he heard all his life.

He swallowed, fiddling with his hands and looking at the ground. 

"It's- you're alright, dude, we're. I dunno if we're safe right now but we're...you can breathe, I'm here, alright?" 

Was that what you were supposed to say? He wasn't sure.

Mind felt weak. He felt so weak. Useless, pathetic, there was no way in hell these people will be able to look at him the same. He needs to get out of here. 

As he tried to move though, he was shaking too much, that annoying tremble in his hands from earlier now a full-fledged tremor.

He only distantly heard Gordon's words but he laughed at it, hollow. What, did he think he needed help? Did he think he wasn't strong enough? He would have snapped back at him if the exhaustion wasn't so strong in him. Whatever. He took a deep breath, or tried to, curling in on himself.

"Hey- dude, please sit down- please?" Gordon put his hands out. "You're- you need to calm down, first, alright? Can you-" He paused, looking him up and down. "Auh, fuck, okay gimme a sec." 

He paused, thinking- when he was little and had basically daily meltdowns, not long after he became verbal, one of his old teachers used to give him a cup of water so he'd be distracted and stop crying- he later used this technique on Josh all the time. 

After a bit, he went through their collection from the vending machines and took out a bottle of water. He opened it and set it down in front of Mind.

The guy looked between the bottle and Gordon. Trying to think of any tricks, any ulterior motives, anything. 

He came back with nothing. It registered as a discrepancy to him, why was there no trick to this?

Suspicious, he took the bottle, slowly raising it and taking a sip, eyes on Gordon practically the whole time. 

Taking a sip felt gross in his mouth, and he cringed slightly, but drank a little more.

He didn't like admitting that it did make him feel better, and his brain was still shot with panic about what that was as he sat the bottle back down in between them.

Gordon didn't look at him very much- though the guy already avoided a lot of eye contact unless something stupid was said. He continued to play with his gloves a bit, nervous, and when the bottle was set down, he looked at Mind again, studying his breathing and making sure it was slower. 

"...Are you able to talk?" He asked, softly.

Mind opened his mouth to say something sarcastic back at him, Yeah of course I can talk, I'm not a toddler.

... Only to find that he could not talk. 

The shame was back, he hated this. 

Shaking his head no, he brought his knees closer to his chest, practically death-staring Gordon. This is your fault, somehow.

"...Okay, that's fine- I-I go nonverbal sometimes, too," Gordon said. "Do you know sign language? Or would you rather, would you rather we have uh. Fuckin. Would you rather we have quiet time?"

Quiet time. Just hearing the words made Mind want to hurt someone. It felt childish, and he wasn't a child. He was just as damn capable as the rest of them, voice or not. 

Luckily for him though, he did know sign language. Unluckily for everyone else, his hands still shook, and he was absolutely going to get snappy if he had to repeat himself.

"Sign."

Gordon perked up. 

"Okay-! Great! That's- that's great, uh," He  looked back over to the charred vent nearby, and then to Mind. "Do you need anything in particular right now? I-I'm uh, k-kinda scared to leave you alone, cause...I mean. Aliens." He gestured. "But if you want um, me to be quiet, or me to uh, talk? Or distract you? I-I can do that-"

Mind shifted, snapping his fingers.

"Shut up. Pay attention."

He took a second, and another sip from the water, before continuing.

"Don't like this any more than you do. I can still handle myself, not useless."

He paused.

"... I don't like noise."

"...That's...fine. I don't, either." Gordon said. "And I know you aren't useless, you've- I mean, you've kinda been the most normal guy here- and uh, you're smart." 

He curled his knees to his own chest, looking at the ground, before deciding it was important to make sure if he knew Mind was signing or not.

"...I-I've kinda needed you as a source of grounding this whole time, man. It's...everything else is fucked and these people, I-I care about them but they're fucking...confusing." 

The other guy had started signing something, before it died on his hands as he processed that.

Mind wasn't expecting at all to be told he was wanted, let alone that he was smart and helped ground the guy. 

Some weight eased itself off of his shoulders, and he finally looked away from Gordon with such scrutiny. 

"... Thank you. This place is fucking insane," another pause, "doesn't surprise me that you need me here just to make sense of everything."

Gordon let out a wheeze. 

"Oh, it is fucking insane, I don't- the rest of the gang is exploring up ahead, but uh...yeah no. Today fucking sucks. And...I dunno what that skeleton was but- that noise and us shooting shit in the vents? Dude, I thought I was gonna throw up," He straight up laughed. "It- my ears are ringing still. And I'm still hearing weird fucking Russian."

Mind laughed, silently shaking before snapping his fingers again, a smile on his face.

"What is with the Russian?? I'm surprised I didn't throw up if I'm honest."

His expression dropped, and he looked down the vents to where the skeleton went.

"Did you kill it?"

“…I dunno, uh- the vent suddenly dropped off, into uh. Fan blades. Bubby fell in and didn’t get hurt, somehow,” Gordon said. “Uh, they all started to figure out how to get through when I realized you weren’t with us, so I came back here to see if you were okay.”

Mind paused, going over the words in his head.

It occurred to him that he hasn't tried to find a secondary motive or worry about any aliens spawning in beside them for a bit now. He didn't know how he felt about that.

"...Thank you."

“Oh- yeah, man, of course! I-I want us to get out, leaving you would be shitty, you don’t deserve that.” Gordon said, and then started feeling a bit of his Dad Mode instincts kick in again. “You feeling better? Need food? I have more uh, more chips.”

Mind smiled weakly, exhaustion from his breakdown still flooding his system. 

"I'm good for now. Don't think I could eat even if I wanted to. Finishing this water though." 

He picked up the bottle, tracing over the side of it.

“Good- good idea.” Gordon chuckled softly. “You uh, you do that. Then we can see if we can catch up with the team, alright? Or wait as long as you need.” 

He pauses, hesitant. 

“…Uh, there have been a few times where I’ve forgotten earplugs for heavier experiments, and uh. Got overstimulated and shut down, a-and I always locked myself in my office when that happened, cause I was…I didn’t want to be judged. So…I uh. I can kinda get…if you wanted to wait a bit longer. I-I’m pretty sure the Science Team is chill, I know for a fact Dr. Coomer is autistic- Bubby and Tommy haven’t told me themselves but they’re. I dunno. I don’t think they’ll be shitty. But we can still wait.”

Mind’s grip on the bottle tightened slightly, and he put it down again to sign.

"I'm not autistic. I just... Can't handle too much noise. And it isn't my fault that other people can't do things the right way."

If the only reason Gordon was being nice to him is because he thought he was Autistic, he didn't want it. He wasn't broken. He didn't know why his chest hurt at the thought of that. 

He looked away.

"I can move in just a second."

Gordon raised an eyebrow at that- it wasn’t in any offense, it was…well, it looked sorta like he doubted him, kind of a sure buddy, whatever you say expression. 

“Take your time, man. I don’t mind waiting.”

Bite, chomp, kill. Mind let it go, for now, not having the energy to argue. 

After another minute or so, he started to move, grabbing the bottle. He went to check for his gun as well, before realising it wasn't holstered, and looked around frantically, panic rising.

He spotted it close by Gordon, and practically lunged at the thing to put it back where it belongs. 

"Okay, now I'm ready."

Gordon gave him a smile, and with a grunt, he stood up, stretching. 

“Houghman, Alright, let’s-“ 

He was interrupted by footsteps, and turned around, noticing Bubby turn the corner. 

“Dead-end.” He grumbled, Dr. Coomer and Tommy following behind. 

“Huh!?” Gordon gestured. “Wh- why?! Really!? How big is this place!?”

...

TYSM FOR READING :3 SORRY IF IT'S A BIT MESSY, AGAIN THIS WAS ORIGINALLY AN RP BETWEEN ME AND @shineyfish !

#hlvraifm #asks #cw: ableism #cw: self-harm #SORRY IF THIS ANSWER IS MESSY. I WAS SORTA DRUNK WHEN I STARTED ANSWERING IT AND IM STILL KINDA BUZZED LMAOOOO #freeman's mind

[reasonandempathy]

how can you reblog a Zionist post criticizing people who support Palestine for allowing themselves to be harmed in an effort to support Palestine (https://www.tumblr.com/reasonandempathy/743584944850354176/politics-is-fucking-soul-churning-it-really-is) while also seeming to respect Aaron Bushnell, who made the ultimate sacrifice in an effort to support Palestine? is it so unthinkable that people would be willing to act against their own interest to stop a genocide?

TLDR; that post isn't denying people can self-sacrifice to stop a genocide. That post is about taking the broader context into perspective, and remembering that Trump Is Still So Much Worse, so you should vote against him.

-------------------------------------

Was thinking about this one, actually.

Didn't know the person's broader political views until checking them out, and while it's important context for that person individually, but the post at large still, broadly, stands.

There is, undoubtedly, an aspect of political discourse that promotes people who would vote for Biden to stay home or vote for someone not Biden and not Trump, rooted in (to a much lesser extent than Bushnell, who was being compelled to be an active participant) not wanting to be complicit in that genocide.

What I took to be the main thrust of that post was to point out the unfortunately very, very real dynamic of not helping Biden win would, objectively, be worse for everyone including Palestinians if Trump wins. And in a truly, honestly Binary choice between D or R, there is a correct choice to make. It's Biden.

The first few paragraphs of that post are basic "don't be selective with your care." Which is true.

The rape of Israeli women, the Jewish Diaspora, The various tortures and war crimes inflicted by Hamas and the Houthis are not things to be forgotten nor supported. The world is fucking complicated and "Good Guys" are in incredibly short supply, but "Hooray Huthis" is what I'd call an incredibly fraught tightrope to walk.

----------

The main thrust of that post, though, is referring to people who know Trump is worse and have done extensive work broadcasting that Trump is, objectively, Worse for Palestinians. Worse for Women. Worse for the LGBTQ community. Worse for Non-Christians. Worse for BIPOC. It's pretty simple and reasonable to think that if Trump was in the White House he would find some way to be even worse right now than Biden is being.

But they still can't endorse or support Biden. Who is definitely horrible, but also objectively the better of the 2 options we have.

Which is why I said Politics is soul-churning. Because it is. Because, outside of any actual plan to get anyone else into the White House, it is objectively Better for the people I care about.

My fiance.

My friends.

My extended family.

My Neighbors.

My trade union (though I haven't been in it for a few years).

My city.

My values.

It is objectively Better for Biden to be in power than Trump, which, again, is the only realistic alternative to Trump. But it does mean voting for the guy. And, yeah, I'm in NY (not a secret). Maybe I could vote for the Justice Party or the Green Party or something else.

But I can't assume nobody else will do that, and ceding what small influence I have (.000008% of Biden's popular vote in 2020) to actually help people to instead assuage my personal beliefs is putting my comfort over that small, minuscule, but very Real influence in being able to help people.

I...have blood on my hands. (broadly) We all do. I just want to add less to it.

#original content #politics #genocide #israel #ask #personal #trump #biden #2024 election #civics

[glowingbadger]

Seteth and dirty talk? Him doing the dirty talk if possible ;) if You'd prefer to fluster him with dirty talk I'm all for it :D

I missed St. Cichol Day so I'm pushing this one further up on my queue to atone and get that sweet Seteth goodness in here for us~ I thought long and hard about how to do this one, since I always feel that Seteth struggles so much with even acknowledging and understanding his own desires, let alone expressing them aloud, so... what I'm saying is, I hope we're feeling ready to be verbally dominated by way of vaguely religiously toned lecture. With, like, a side of voice kink I guess idfk

Quick CW for the sub-dom dynamic here, but honestly, the way I write Seteth, that's practically a given lmao

Seteth (FE3H) x GN Reader

Kink prompts list #50 - dirty talk

NSFW 18+

Perhaps, after a handful of blissful nights being disciplined and scolded in his bed, you should have expected your body would react to hearing that particular forceful tone in Seteth's voice. You'd happened to arrive at his office in the midst of what sounded like an especially firm lecture- even by his standards. It's not at all an uncommon thing to have stumbled upon, but now, your body responds in a way you hadn't been prepared for. Today, eavesdropping from the second floor hall, you can't help the flood of erotic warmth through your core, the thudding of your heart, the way your pulse races at the potent reminder of him bending you over his knee to admonish you. The response is fully subconscious- it's learned. Trained. For a moment, you almost manage to feel sorry for whatever student is at the receiving end of Seteth's wrath, but your instinctive arousal distracts you from any thought but the need for satisfaction.

"I expect you to reflect gravely upon your actions," his voice is stern still, but softening as you listen from beyond the oaken office door, "The future you build for yourself will be the direct consequence of the habits and morals you develop now in your youth. You would do well to correct these failings before they come to bring you harm. That is all."

By the time the thoroughly humbled student is excused and scurries past you and down the hall, you catch yourself biting at your lower lip, restless with desire.

You slip into Seteth's office, making sure to close the door behind you. He's already returned to his desk, his brow low and eyes focused on the nightmarish sprawl of paperwork before him. On seeing you, however, his irritable expression immediately softens.

"Ah- do you need something of me, my love?"

You smile, but gesture for him not to leave his seat on your account. Instead, you come to stand behind him, running your hands fondly along his tense shoulder muscles.

"Not in particular, I just figured I'd check up on you," he relaxes just slightly at your touch, "It's been a busy term, huh?"

"That it has," he sighs, his eyes never leaving the work in hand though he does lean back to you, "Would you join Flayn for dinner in my stead tonight?"

"She'll be cross with you for working late again," you lean forward, drawing your arms around him from behind his chair.

"I imagine so, yes," he replies with a bemused sigh. Pressing your body to his back, you let your breath tease the barely concealed point of his ear as you say,

"Maybe you'll even be the one getting lectured for once,"

His body tenses at the gentle sensation.

"I... had hoped that you hadn't overheard that unpleasantness before you arrived."

"Just a bit as you were finishing up," you kiss the shell of his ear, and feel his frame shudder in response, "But to be honest... I actually sort of enjoy getting to hear you being so stern and serious."

Seteth stiffens against you, his posture rigid and his face warming as your hands run along his chest. Still, he maintains a semblance of restraint.

"From what I'm told, it is not a rare occurrence."

"I don't mean your usual seriousness," you say with a laugh that flutters through his hair, "I mean, you know, more... Authoritative. Commanding."

Your teeth graze his ear, and you feel his breathing stall, his jaw tightening as he stifles a groan.

"Dearest..." he says breathlessly, "You... are well aware of my feelings on this sort of thing during working hours."

You hum playfully in reply, then slowly kiss a line down to the corner of his jaw.

"But you've been so busy lately, I've been lonely..."

Seteth clears his throat.

"I am afraid we will both simply have to be patient, my love."

The ironic impatience evident in the strain of his voice draws your lips into a smirk. Pressing yourself warm against him, your hands running along the firm muscles of his chest, you nuzzle the crook of his neck and say,

"And what if I simply can't wait to have you, Seteth? Not all of us can be as unshakably virtuous as you are, you know."

Seteth rises to his feet in one abrupt motion, wresting your arms from him. You let out a squeak of surprise as he seizes you around the waist and pulls you to face him, the back of your legs against his desk as he traps you between it and him. His gaze is full of fire and fury, but his words are unyielding,

"If you struggle to embody virtue, then you must learn it- and you will do so, by my hand alone."

"Seteth-" you barely manage his name, your fight and your breath both leaving you at once.

"I'll not tolerate a moment more of this wanton behavior, Y/N," there's that tone again- that forceful, uncompromising tone that already has your pulse racing and your body warming, "Perhaps you require a reminder of the consequences you stand to face."

You can't get a word out. You only nod.

Please. Please.

Seteth's hand at your chin keeps your gaze trained on him, his touch heated, yet anything but tender.

"You will await me in my quarters this evening, undressed and on your knees, do you understand? I expect to see you ready to bear your punishment with utmost humility and gratitude."

Again, you slowly nod.

"Answer me properly, Y/N."

There's a dangerous edge to his voice. His brow lowers as he looms over you, and you manage,

"Ye- Yes, sir."

"Very good." His expression is contemplative as a fingertip traces the curve of your bottom lip. "We will correct this shameful behavior, Y/N. If I must take you across my lap and strike you until you repent, then so be it. If I must use your lips and throat to train you in obedience, then I shall do so."

A tremor rushes down your spine, and you nearly whimper aloud. Those arresting green eyes hold you rooted to the spot as he speaks, his voice low but firm.

"I will discipline each and every inch of you until I see you trembling beneath me. I will bring you to the very brink of release to hear you beg and plead to me for mercy, and I shall grant you pleasure or withhold it as I see fit. You will worship until your body aches and you can think of nothing but your utter and complete submission."

Like a holy sermon, his words build until they wash over you, enter deep inside of you, leaving your face flushed and knees weak.

"Then, once I am satisfied with your penance, and no sooner," his gaze darkens, though his hand gently caresses your cheek, "then, perhaps, a Saint will hear and answer your prayers."

You're not certain how you're still breathing, let alone still standing. Your hands have steadied you back against his desk, but your legs feel unsteady beneath you. Still, despite it all, you force out a meek whisper,

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir."

Apparently pleased with this reply, Seteth leans close and warmly, gently kisses your forehead. The sweet tenderness of the act is so deeply at odds with the lurid filth that's filled your imagination that you're not certain how to respond. You want to grab him by his robes and kiss him, want to beg him to pin you to his desk here and now, to fuck obedience and humility into you until the whole Monastery hears how good you can be for him. But that would not be in line with the type of punishment he has in store for you, would it?

"Now then, I am certain you have your own matters to attend to until I see you this evening," Seteth's tone is rigid and business-like once more, shaking you from your lustful daze. He returns to the seat at his desk as you watch him with a sullen pout across your face.

"Seteth," you practically whine his name, "That wasn't fair at all- how am I supposed to just go about my day like this?"

He glances up at you over the paperwork in hand, and says with just the barest hint of a smile,

"On the contrary, I can hardly think of a better way to begin your disciplinary training. I am certain that you can endure it graciously until we meet tonight."

#seteth #fire emblem #fe3h #feh #few3h #seteth fire emblem #fire emblem three houses #fire emblem three hopes #seteth x reader #fire emblem smut #kink prompts #dirty talk #voice kink #fire emblem x reader