#but this man broke me. i cant look at his face without feeling regret | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

smoooothoperator · 2 years

Text

Need You Now (M.S.)

Summary: Need You Now by Lady A

He wanted this season to to be perfect. His first season. He wanted to follow the steps of his father, continue the legacy. He wanted to make all his close ones proud. He wanted to make her proud of him.

But it started worse the he wanted. At the end of the year his family received the notification that Netflix wanted to do a film about his father, and rememorating all the moments shared with his father, became something that started to broke his relationship. All the secretism were an issue that separated them, everytime she asked him about his father he kept the silence, she only wanted to know how he was going since the beginning. She wanted to be part of his family but everytime he went without her to the ranch, a crack appeared on their relation. Then the season started. And the frustration made him went to their shared house mad.

"I'm done, Mick. I am tired of you being distant to me, of you shouting to me everytime I ask you about your races. I love you but i cant continue like that. I cant be with someone who doesn't include me on their plans". "Go on, then! I am sure there are a lot of boys that want to be on bed with you. I won't be on their way anymore. I won't call you anymore, forget about me". "Oh, sure I will! I hope no one loves you the way I did".

His first season was terrible. He faced the reality the moment he drove his car for the first time. He knew that he will have a difficult season, not for the car itself, but because everything he wanted that year disappeared. And when he realised what he did he regretted everything.

His last race broke him. Even if he shows to the public his white smile, the hugs with his team and a sweet mood, he is broken, tired and frustrated. When he went back to his house, the coldness of it made him shiver. He remembered that everytime he came back from a race the home used to be warm and with the smell of food, with her walking with open arms welcoming him with a smile and a peck on his lips. But it stopped at the begging of the year, at the beginning of the failures, at the begging of the recording of that film.

He looked at the shelves of the living room. His eyes stared at the pictures, the memories. He hated the feeling when his mind starts to work searching for those scenes saved there, the sensations and the scents.

Summer of 2020. Her family invited him to the vacations since they were dating for almost a year. She always loved Italy and she enjoyed it more with him by her side. Her family stayed on a villa in the middle of the Tuscany and Mick and her wents every night on a walk through the land.

"This is so beautiful". She sighed looking at the sunset, sighing happy to be there. "It is". Mick hugged her from behind, laying his chin on her head and admiring the view with her. "Can we come here again next year? Just the two uf us, when you summer break starts". She turned around and looked to his eyes, the blue eyes that hypnotised her everytime she looks at them. "Of course, mein liebe. Just the two of us".

He smiled sad, looking at the photo of them on that sunset in the Tuscany. She took that photo, putting her phone on a wall made of a lot of rocks, and he wrapped her body with his arms while she placed her hand on his neck kissing him after she heard the countdown of the phone. And now it was only a memory, a photo that continued on his shelves just like many others, making clear that he did the worst thing he could ever do.

Christmas of 2019. It was only five months after they started dating. She called him after the Christmas dinner with her family because the present with his name made her anxious and all she wanted was to see him. So he drove to her house. He knew that he was going to meet her family any time soon, because those last months plus all the months of flirting seemed to made their relationship something serious and with future. So he dressed as best as he could and knocked on the door of that beautiful house. A man opened the door and hugged him, calling him by his name, and welcomed him into the warm house. And then he saw her, dressed with a beautiful red dress and a Santa hat. Her film insited to them posing next to the tree to take a photo, so they did what they asked, him hugging her waist while she hugged his abdomen leaning her head on his chest. After that she wrapped her hand on his and walked to her room, searching for the gift and giving it to him.

"I know we only have been dating for five months... but I wanted yo you to have this". She gave him the present and when he unwrapped it he saw the little box, opening it and looking at the chain inside of it. "Those are my initials... you know, so in that way you'll have me near when you race".

He looked down at his chest. The chain is still there, her initials still near his heart. His eyes moved to that photo, and the warm feeling of her parents house wrapped him immediately. He want to go back there, to the happy times. He doesn't know how or when, but all the pictures of then are scattered on the floor in front of him. All the memories are in front of him, hurting him because he can't fight against them anymore. He reaches for his phone without tearing apart his eyes from her, his fingers searching for her contact name.

He put the call on speaker and when it came the voice mail he wanted to cry. Maybe she just eliminated his number.

"Hey... it's me. I... I know I said wouldn't call. But I need you, mein liebe. I lost the control of everything. I hate myself for everything I did, I hate myself because I can't performe a proper race with that shitty car I have. Please, I need you. You are the only thing that is on my mind everyday, all days, all weeks. Come back to me."

He cuts the recording sending it to her. He looks at the drinks cabinet and stood up from the floor, looking at the bottle of whiskey that Kimi gifted him for his birthday last year. He doesn't like to drink, but he needs it. He needs to forget for a while, be put of the world and get drunk. So he served the drink on a glass and drank all the liquid at once, feing the alcohol burning his throat. He repeated the same thing, his hand moving to his phone and calling her again, looking at the door of the apartment.

"It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk. I know it's late, but I need you now"

×××

Her work kept her awake after hours. She needed to study the operation she has to do next week, searching for information and ways to confront that. The coffee she made after her dinner was cold now and it tasted bad, making her remember something that made her heart ache.

She always liked coffee. It made her feel warm and the smell of it brings her grandfather back to her. When she moved to Mick's apartment, he bought a coffee machine for her so she could do the best coffee for her studies sessions. Since she slept with him on the same bed, they transformed the guests room onto their office, more hers than his. While she worked there, Mick always made her some coffee and he would knock on the door and bring it to her, making her smile and stood up from the chair and kiss him. She always loved those moments.

She sighed, shaking her head and standing up from her chair, taking the cup with her and walking to the kitchen, opening the microwave and warming the drink. She stared to it, thinking about nothing, until the calling tone of her phone made her jump. When she catch it form the pocket of the hoodie and looked at the ontact name, her heart stopped.

He was calling her.

She hesitated to pick up the call and when it ended ringing she could heard her heartbeat on her ears.

He called her.

And then the notification of a voice message scared her. He doesn't want to hear it, but her finger moved alone.

She heard his voice. It's not the voice she loved, the sweet one. It was a broken voice, one that cracked at every word he said. She heard his sobs, making her cry while she leaned against the kitchen wall. She never wanted something like this, never wanted to hear him cry or be in pain.

She wanted to be angry, all this time since they broke up she wanted to be angry with him. After they ended their relationship she bought an apartment for herself and even looking for it she couldn't stop thinking about him, about how he would love the bedroom, or the balcony of the livingroom. He had been on her mind all those months, all the hours of the day. While she operated a brain, her own brain was thinking about Mick, or when she was working on her essay she was imaginating how proud he could be of her discoveries.

So when she heard his second call, she stood up from the floor and walked to the livingroom and grabbed the keys of her car. The drive to his house, previously their house, was painful. All those memories from that apartment, where they loved each other and they argued against each other came to her mind. But all she can think right now is if he is alright, if he didn't harm himself. So when she saw fhe building she stopped the car in front of the main door and ran out of it as fast as she could. She surprised herself when her hands searched for the key and founded it, allowing her to walk inside of that place and stepping into the elevator pressing the button of the floor he lives on. She introduced the key on the door and opened it, feeling instantly the cold of the house invading her body.

"Liebe? Is that you?" His voice sounded weak and when she walked some steps, she heard something breaking under her feet. "Mick where are you?".

Her voice made him shiver. She came, she's here with him. He tried to stand up from the floor, but the pieces of the glass je thew minutes before cutter his bare feet, making him groan in pain.

"Mick!" She lighted up the lights of the living room and when she looked at the floor, with all those pieces of glass, the photos and the whiskey. He was leaning against the drinks cabinet, the one they never opened unless it was something special like a birthday or a celebration for their jobs. She remembers the last time they opened that, drinking half of the bottle of champagne her father gifted them: her first surgery alone.

She walked to him, with all the crystals breaking under her boots. Mick's eyes were on her,8 following all her movements, and when she was on front of him and bending down, he stated to cry. Her hands searched his, and when she touched them, he hissed in pain as the little glasses were incrusted on his palm. She tried to not cry more, not in front of him, and helped him stood up without talking.

"I am so sorry, liebe" he sobbed.

She bite her lips and looked at him. His feels miserable under her gaze. As soon as all the interviews of the last race ended he went to the airport and waited for the next flight to his home, not even having a shower. So when she caught his hand and started to walk to the bathroom, he wanted to hide on the bedroom, ashamed of how he was in front of her.

Her heart is beating fast as the actions she will do the next minutes came into her mind. She searched for the switch of the light and walked inside the bathroom with him. She had seem his naked body thousand of time, and he had seen hers a thousand times too. But right now it feels like if that never happened. When she opened the water of the shower and turned around, she could feel her heart of her ribcage as she started to lift up his t-shirt.

"You don't have to-". "Don't, Mick. Don't talk, please".

She finished undressing him, his naked bodyis in front of her and his usual warm is no longer there. His is freezing and shivering and his movements are slower than usual. He walked inside the shower and when he felt the warm water running down his body, his chest started to hurt. She undressed herself with doubt, cursing her own brain for doing stupid things, and stepped inside the shower with him.

"Liebe..." he breathed, looking at her, naked. He missed her. Her presence, her scent, her warmth. Her. He knows her, he knows that she never liked her own body, that she hated her delicious curves, her wonderful perfect breasts. He's not turned on, he's not horny at the gaze of her, his mind is not processing the information correctly. All he can think about right now is that she is here with him, that she came.

She searches for the bottle of shampoo and spreads the liquid on his hair, trying to not step too close to him. His eyes are closed, the feeling of her fingers running of his head was something he missed like hell, but how the distance between them right now is killing him. He knows what she wants, stay away, but at the same time he needs her, he needs her skin and her warmth. So when his hands reached for her waist she jumped, but not for the surprise. She jumped because she was so focused on his hair and trying to not look at him than when she felt hi hands they connceted their eyes.

He pulled her closer, and she did what he wanted. Her breasts were against his chest, her nipples hardening as his other hand touched her back. Her breath getting heavier as she felt his head on her shoulder.

She missed his touch. His perfect, gentle and sweet touch. She tried to forget it, but the skin memory never fails. She missed how he rubbed her back until she felt asleep, or how he used to play with the rings of her fingers. So when he started to caress the skin of her back like he did before, she let a sob scape fom he lips. Her arms wrapped him, stepping closer and craving his skin.

"I was an idiot, Mick. It's my fault, I couldn't be by your side as you needed and as soon as I saw the opportunity I waked away from you" she cried, hiding her face on his shoulder. "No, mein liebe. It's all my fault. You made everything right, you made me part of your plans and inclided me on your family plans. And I did everything wrong, I kept things away from you and started distance myself from you".

They kept like that for minutes that felt like hours. Their naked bodies closer than ever, crying on their shoulders and craving the touch they needed for months.

"Please, come back to me. I can't do it without you, I can't live here without you. I can't... I need you by my side because you are thebonly thing that kept me insane about my father or the races". She breathed deeply, brushing her lips on his skin and looked upnto his eyes, pressing her hands on his cheek with a smile on her eyes. "Promise me you won't ever scream to me. It doesn't suit you, sunshine". "I won't. I won't scream at you, keep you away form the secrets. You have always been my future, you were always on my mind when they asked me about what I wanted". She looked at his lips and then at the chain that was around his neck. The chain she gifted him. "You kept it" she smiled, caressing the skin of his chest. "Of course, you were always by my side"

Then she kissed him. He moaned on her lips, slipping his tongue inside her mouth and savouring her. He doesn't remember the last time he kissed her, the last time they were together they were only arguing, not making love.

"I missed you" she whispered on his lips. "I missed you too. When we finish this I'll tell you everything about my father. I promise you".

#f1 #formula 1 #mick schumacher #mick schumacher x reader #mick schumacher imagine

318 notes · View notes

dreamescapeswriting · 3 years

Text

I Hate To Admit ~ Bang Chan [Request]

WORD COUNT:1.6K

PAIRING: Chan x GN!Reader

GENRE: Angst, fluffy

A/N: I made it a fluffy ending I cant help it.

The longer that Chan sat there listening to the rain outside the window the more he began to grow uneasy about everything he had done that day. It was his turn to release an Skz-Record and he'd written something from the heart, something he'd been holding back on for so long that he needed to get out. Now it had been out in the world for almost eight hours and he was already wondering about you, had you seen it yet? What did you think about it? Did you even know that it was about you? Would you even care that he had done something like that?

The clock on his desk began blinking as it reached midnight and he knew he was going to have to head back to the dorms sooner or later but he didn't want to. As much as he loved being around the boys he needed some time alone, time to think about everything he had lost and he didn't want to go back yet. The boys all knew who the song was going to be about which meant they were going to have a million and one questions about you, why you had left in the first place, why he'd written such a sad song and why Chan would never tell the boys what had truly happened to you. Going back to them met admitting that he missed you and he did, he missed you every minute of every day but he could never say that out loud to anyone but himself. There were times where your voice still echoed in the back of his mind and being at the studio was one of the moments he still felt as though he was close to you. Imagining you sat on the chairs behind him waiting for him to finish one of the pieces he was working on. He still pictured you waiting up for him at the dorms, sitting in one of his shirts playing video games or passed out on the sofa so tired from waiting for him but you would always be there.

"Chan? You ready?" He snapped out of his daydream as he glanced over at the door, his manager had been watching him for a few minutes debating about interrupting the young man's thoughts.

"No, I'm...I'm going to work on this a little more," He lied as he turned back to the blank laptop screen, he was already so tired it wouldn't matter if he stayed in the studio that night he just didn't want to go home yet. Not to an empty bed where he couldn't sleep, he couldn't sleep without you by his side which is why he had begged you to stay with him but you didn't.

"You told me you would never leave! You promised!" He yelled out as you stood across from him in the dorms, throwing your clothes into a bag as you tried to leave as quickly as possible. Tears welling up in your eyes as you tried not to look at him, looking at him you would see how much this was hurting him but this was a once in a lifetime opportunity and you couldn't give it up. It was your life's work and someone was finally taking you seriously, your dream was to be a writer and now that was finally able to come true he wasn't willing to let you go?

"I'll be back Channie, I need this." You breathed as you placed your bag over your shoulder, heading towards the exit when he took hold of your hand. The familiar spark you always felt jolted through your body only making you cry harder at the thought of leaving him. The two of you had spoken about it before, you'd managed a long-distance relationship when he was away on tour, it would be no different. You would be back sooner than he could think about it but he was set on never letting you leave.

"I'll be back...I need this, you know how much this means to me." You tried to let him know gently that this was your dream but he was blind to everything, all he could think about was the promises you had made that you were now breaking.

"You lied to me. You promised that you would never leave and now you're leaving." His voice cracked and you turned to look at him, tears rushing down your face as you reached your hand up to touch him. You hadn't seen Chan this upset since the survival show and it broke you to see him with his eyes so red and tears staining his cheeks.

"You said you would support my dreams." You reminded him but he stepped back from you, shaking his head as he let you walk out of the door, leaving everything behind without trying to fix it.

Chan never should have let you leave the way you did, it was one of the biggest mistakes in his life. He should have made up with you before you got on the plane and left the country to be far away from him, he didn't have to be as selfish as he was but he couldn't see a world without you in it and to this day he still couldn't. How could he ever forget the way you were, how could he not remember all of the little things you did that made him smile and even things that would annoy him but that he still loved about you? He always regretted never responding to the texts and calls you left him when you landed for your new job, he ignored you, ghosting you and telling the boys to do the same.

"Fuck," He mumbled as he looked down at the photo of you he had on his desk, he'd never moved it from the moment that he put it there. It was a photo of you and him together after the boy's first award win, you were holding onto him tightly as tears rushed down both of your faces. You had the photo framed so that you could prove to Chan every day how much you supported his dream and how much of an amazing achievement he had won in the past to keep him motivated but now? Now it felt like a person torture device sitting on his desk, painfully reminding him that although you had supported him he hadn't done the same for you.

Staggering into the dorms that night he stripped out of the drenching wet coat he was wearing and hung it up on the coat rack to dry for the next day. He scratched the back of his neck as he walked through the hallway and into the living room, glancing over at the sofa as he saw you sitting there.

"I'm too tired," He mumbled as he began rubbing his eyes thinking that the image of you sitting there, in his shirt was just all in his head but as he glanced back over you were staring at him. Two cups of hot chocolate on the coffee table as you waited for him to come and sit down.

"You wouldn't be so tired if you got some decent sleep," You quipped as you moved over on the sofa, Chan's mind raced as he stared at you. He must have fallen asleep in the studio it was the only explanation for you to be sitting there so calmly as if nothing had happened.

"Channie, please...We need to talk." You whispered as you waited for him to go and sit beside you, he hesitantly walked over and took the drink from the table, sitting down expecting everything to fade away as he woke up.

"The song." You whispered again placing your hand over his and that was when he knew it was real, that you were truly sitting across from him and touching him. That you were back.

"The song," He repeated, placing his hand on top of yours as he waited for you to say something else but no words could express what you were feeling. You had been on the plane flying home to see him when the song dropped, making you rethink everything in your relationship if there was even one to go back to.

"How did you know I was coming back?" He questioned as he looked at you and then to the time, it was almost 2 in the morning and he never would have expected to find you here.

"I came as soon as I landed...Felix let me in and I slept in your bed for a while...Then I figured you'd probably come home at some ungodly hour like you used to," You laughed softly remembering all the times he would come home late like this, it never once bothered you because you knew how much he adored his word and you would always make sure he slept when he came in.

"But...Why are you back? I thought the job was what you wanted," It had been everything you wanted but it was awful, you were completely miserable the whole time because it wasn't as fun as they had made it out to be, promising you all these amazing opportunities only to make you an errand-runner. Not having Chan in your life made it all the worse, with Chan by your side you felt like anything was possible.

"I didn't want the job if it meant I never got to see you again...Plus...They kind of sucked, I became an errand-runner." You mumbled as you laid your head on his shoulder and just like that it was as if nothing had changed. The four months you spent apart never happened and Chan was just glad to have you back in his life and in his arms where he was never going to let you go without telling you how much he supported you.

"We'll find you something good, something better...I will support you...I promise." He whispered as he laid a small kiss on your forehead, you hummed tiredly as you relaxed against him just happy to be back in his arms once again.

Tagline: @taestannie @kneel-begyourpardon @sw33tnight @mwitsmejk @acciocriativity @minholuvs @anxiousbobatea @justbangtanthingz

#skz #skz x reader #skz x you #skz imagine #skz imagines #stray kids #stray kids x reader #stray kids x you #stray kids imagine #stray kids imagines #bang chan #chan #bang chan x reader #bang chan imagine #bang chan imagines #chan x reader #chan imagine #chan imagines

353 notes · View notes

darylsgirl · 3 years

Text

He’s just like the sun, Part 3 Daryl Dixon x Reader 18+

Summary: Daryl had broken you again, You had turned to rick for comfort finding a different kind of life with his family. Negan finding you in Rick’s home ends up bringing you back to Daryl. For Always <3

Part one Part two

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Hey lovelies! If any of you have stuck with this story this long then i really appreciate you!! Apologies in advance for the extreme roller coaster of this chapter! I decided not to proof read this one and just go with my gut on the progression, So if there’s any mistakes or anything you didn’t like as always please let me know! Also let me know if you liked it and if i should right some more Daryl/Norman stuff as i don’t think i’m ready to let it go yet aha! Also! I decided to add pictures of the people when the pov changes and for the reader i added my own pictures from a shoot a few years back. If it’s too cheesy let me know haha!

I hope you enjoy my crazy mind!

Love to you all! Love Jen x*

Warnings: References to abuse, Smutty smut!, Talks of violence, Lots of cussin!

Recap:

You had tried to talk to Daryl after that and he had pretended you didn’t exist. You were grateful that because of your growing friendship with Rick he had let you stay with him and the kids.

You found yourself spending more time watching Daryl wishing he would just look at you but he never did.

It was on one of these nights watching him that you saw it and he broke you all over again..

------------------------------------

This was worse than anything Spencer ever did to you, You could handle him hurting your body because he was never able to get your heart. Your heart had always been safe with Daryl until now….

You turned to leave when your clumsy self managed to kick the plant pot over, His eyes met yours. You couldn’t stop now, You couldn’t look at him. You carried on and ran back to Rick’s house bolting the door behind you and ran straight to your room.

Rick followed you “Y/N, What’s going on?” As he was about to reach you, The pounding on the front door started. “Please don’t let him in” Rick looked confused and walked to the front door unbolting it.

Your eyes met again as you slammed the bedroom door locking it behind you and hid inside your closet locking that too.

You tore at your hair, He lied. Spencer was right! He was right and you were a fool. You could hear them now getting closer shouting at each other, You held your hands over your ears, You couldn’t hear any more of his lies! You knew it was only a matter of time before they were in the room and he would find you. Without a second thought you left the closet and left through the open window.

You went to the only place you could think of that he wouldn’t look for you.

Rick’s Pov

The kids were in bed and he was enjoying a few minutes of peace for a change. He was always running off for some reason or another. It was nice to just have a typical family night. He didn’t think these were going to be possible once the end came. He and Y/N had made dinner for Carl & Judith and played a board game with Carl occupying Judith by pulling silly faces at her. When Judith started to get tired Y/N put her down and came back to finish the game with Carl before sending him to bed too.

You and Y/N had sat in comfortable silence in the living room before she had decided to go take a walk and He had stayed back to keep an ear out for the kids, He’d cleared up after dinner and now just sat in his living room enjoying the peace.

Before he could let out another contented sigh the front door flew open. Y/N Slammed the door behind her and had locked the deadbolt. Within a flash she was flying down the hallway to her room.

Rick jumped to his feet chasing her “Y/N What’s going on?” He reached out to her as she got to her doorway when the sound from the front door made him spin around. “Please don’t let him in” Y/N begged. He shot her a confused look before heading to answer the door.

They weren’t knocking any more they were trying to kick it in, You flung the door open in between kicks seeing who was there “What the hell brother! My kids are sleepin and you’re bringing this shit to my door?”

Daryl tried to push past Rick but he caught him and pushed him out of the house. “Your not comin in here like this, What’d you do. Why she tell me not to let you in”

“Get outta ma way Rick. Ya don’ understand” Daryl yelled.

“I’m tryna understand, brother, Tell me what happened?”

“Y/N, Y/NNN PLEASEE” Daryl rushed Rick again and got past this time.

Rick rushed past him down the corridor and blocked Y/N’s door.

“You needa calm down Daryl, She don’t wanna see you right now”

Daryl had seen read and spat “Oh yeah? And she wants to see you does she? I seen the way you look at each other. I seen her rushin into ya arms all the time, Good ol’ boy rick. Moving in on another man’s woman!” Daryl was pacing now clenching his fists.

“Woah now buddy, I haven’t moved in on anything. It aint even like that. She needed you but you were off with Nicole so I was there for her. She’s family we all needa look out for each other”

“I don’ wanna do this with ya now Rick, Get outta ma way or ill move ya my damn self!”

Daryl pushed past him again and easily broke the lock. Searching the room Rick’s eyes locked on the open window. He pointed it out to Daryl. “Ya gonna have to look somewhere else - She’s gone”

“Cant have gone far” Daryl said before taking off out the window after her. Rick put his hand through his hair and walked back into the living room, He looked through the front door and saw Nicole standing there. He glanced over her and shut the door.

Not dealing with that shit too he thought, Taking his seat back on the couch.

Daryl’s Pov

He knew you had been watching him since your fight, He had been watching you right back, Wanting more than anything to just run to you and keep you safe, But you would never be safe with him, He was a virus turning everything around him to shit.

Nicole was becoming less of a welcome distraction since she had kissed you before Y/N was found, She was now everywhere he turned, She changed her shifts to match his and would try and walk with him home after trying to get him to invite her in.

He hated her incessant nagging, How she always found a way to touch him. Pawin at him. He tried to tell her to stop but it only seemed to make her more determined.

Y/N understood when to push and when to back off and Nicole just wasn’t understanding the back off part.

Between Nicole’s naggin on shift and Carol’s nagging at home he was starting to lose it. He wanted to go on a long ride out and be alone but he couldn’t leave again. Even though Spencer was now dead he couldn’t risk leaving Y/N alone in this town without him to keep a watch on her.

Carol had caught him staring at Y/N’s usual spot at the table and huffed “How many times have i told you to go get that girl back hmm? You need to apologise and make it right! You treated her bad Daryl but she still needs you. If you go to her now, She’ll forgive you”

He knew she was right but he couldn’t fight the feeling that this was still all his fault he had done this to her, He hadn’t fought hard enough to have Spencer from the community and had let his guard down around him.

His daddy was right, he was worthless and didn’t deserve love.

He wondered what Merle would’ve thought of all this, Probably would have told him to stop being such a pussy and go get his woman.

He looked over at Carol. “You really think she’d forgive me now?” She nodded yes “Now go get our girl back” He looked over at the clock he had a few hours before shift. He could do this.

He ran through the streets until he made it to Rick's house and stopped in his tracks when he saw you through the window, Happy.

You had your arms around Judith and Rick had his arms around you both while Carl was pulling faces at her making you all laugh.

Looking through that window was like looking into the home he had always wanted. Y/N just slotted right in to their family like she was always meant to be there. Making him think she was never meant to be with him.

He watched for a while, watching how comfortably she took Judith to bed, Then lay back in Rick’s arm’s laughing with Carl.

He couldn’t watch it anymore. He couldn't watch you be happy with your best friend, Giving him that smile you had previously reserved only for him.

You stormed off into the dark towards the tower and watched Nicole send the previous shift home waiting at the bottom for you as she always did.

Once the other guys had left he went for it, Storming forward he grabbed Nicole and pushed her up against the tower.

“Guess it’s your lucky day aint it girl” He kissed her harshly feeling her submit to him instantly She tried to wrap her arms around him and he held her hands back. He moved his hands to her jeans impatiently wanting to get this over with and feel something other than regret and shame.

She helped him now pull her jeans off and then his. Lifting her into his arms he plunged himself into her, Clasping his hand over her mouth to stifle her moans. He fucked her, this wasn’t the gentle love making he would have with Y/N this was transactional and he was regretting it already.

All he could do is wish it was Y/N in his arms in his bed holding her body close to his loving on him. He didn’t want this. He started pulling away Muttering that he was sorry to Nicole when he heard a smash to the right of him.

Instantly meeting her eyes. Shit.

Y/N

Sitting on the floor with the door open you drank, Drank that big bottle of special whiskey he was saving for a “Special occasion” Fuck special occasions the only special occasions left were the days you were still breathing.

You were finally able to look at the mattress, You were surprised it was still there, You were surprised anything was still here in this house. You thought when you had come in that they would have set to work on it already clearing it out to make use of it again but no everything is still exactly where it was left when you were last here.

You weren’t sure how long you had been there before Rick had found you. He came and sat on the floor next to you taking the bottle from your hands and taking a swig. You sat in silence like that until you’d finished the bottle between the two of you. Shaking the empty bottle to show you, Rick took your hand in his. “You ready to go home now?”

You nodded at him both standing feeling a little more than tipsy now he wrapped his arm around your shoulders guiding you up the stairs and out of the house. You walked back to his house like this taking comfort from the warmth of him on the chilly night. When you reached the porch you settled into the swing outside.

Rick nodded at you understanding, He walked inside and sent Rosita home who must have come to keep an ear out for the kids. She smiled at you when she left. Rick came back out to you a few minutes later with a fresh bottle and a blanket. He sat down and threw the blanket over the two of you and handed you a glass. You took it gratefully your original buzz was already wearing off.

You wrapped yourself back up in Rick again sighing into his chest, Drinking your whiskey and just enjoying the moment. These were the only moments that you could feel your mind pause and go numb, Rick had that effect on you. He was uncomplicated, simple and you could never question his loyalty to his people and how far he would go to protect any one of you.

You smiled into his chest now, Rick stiffened slightly. “Wanna tell me what happened earlier?”

You took a deep breath and offloaded - Something you were learning to do quite well.

“I saw Daryl with Nicole. They were behind the guard tower. They were” You choked on the next words “Let's just say they had moved past first base running straight for a home run”

“What a Dumb ass, I’m sorry you had to see that Y/N” he murmured into your hair kissing it.

“I’ve told you before your welcome with us, The kids love you and i can’t say i mind you here either”

You looked up at him now moving your head onto his shoulder “You sure Rick? I don’t want to be bringing any more drama to your door, The kids need a simple happy life now”

He smiled down at you hearing that he brought his hand to your cheek caressing it.

“I’m sure if you are Y/N, The kids will be ok. Little bit of excitement will keep em on their toes” He chuckled.

Maybe Rick was exactly what you needed right now, You knew you would never want to be without his little ones now they were making you feel whole again and given you a new reason to carry on. You loved them.

You both stared into each other's eyes leaning in ever so slightly to him, You saw him lean in also when you heard someone clear their throat. Both of your heads span towards the noise.

Daryl was leaning against the rail of the porch. “So this is what not moving in on another’s girl looks like huh Rick?” You stood up from the swing about to defend yourself and then realised you had nothing to defend. He did.

“What do you want Dixon? Come here to Lie to me some more or just trying to further ruin a nice evening?”

His eyes went dark “I aint ever lied to ya Y/N” You Scoffed “Yeah okay after today you think i’m going to believe anything you say?”

Rick saw this as his queue to leave he grasped your hand slightly “Gonna go check on the kids, You gonna be ok?” You nodded and smiled up at him “Yeah i'll be ok, He may be an asshole but he won’t hurt me...Not Physically anyway. I’ll be in soon” He let go of your hand, walked into the house and shut the door.

You walked past Daryl into the street and away from the houses knowing he was following you. Once you had walked far enough away you span around to him. “What, Could you possibly have to say to me?”

“It’s like that now is it Y/N?” His eyes looked hurt.

“Don’t you try and turn this on me Daryl. You ignored me for weeks, When I needed you! And if that wasn’t hard enough to take, You completely abandoned me. Making me watch you with her for weeks! Then!!! I had to see you Fucking her! In the open! What the fuck is wrong with you Daryl!!”

He stayed silent staring at the ground. “Every moment for two months i thought about being back to you desperate for you to love me again, But you were full of shit. You lied you fucking lied to me. Just tell me the truth now. Why did you even bother coming tonight, What more could you possibly want from me?”

“How many times i have to tell ya, I aint ever lied to you. I do love ya and ya love me!” He looked down ashamed. “She was just easy I -” You scoffed “Yeah i saw how easy she was”

He continued “Will ya listen to me woman!” He seethed, He waited until he was sure you were listening “I couldn’t face you knowin it were ma fault. Feelin like i did this to ya. I couldn’t even touch ya without feeling sick, I heard ya know. I heard ya tell Carol what that vile bastard did, I wanted to go back and rip his heart out. I would of ripped mine out and given it to ya, If it would of helped”

“What good is any of this now Daryl, You’ve betrayed me on every level”

“Let’s talk about betrayal naw should we? That was my best friend you were cozying up to back there”

“Nothing happened Daryl, I can’t say it wasn’t going to but at that point it hadn’t but so what you’ve moved on with her” You spat the word her with as much venom as you could.

“I only did what i did because i saw you two tonight, Cuddled up like one big family his arms around ya, I couldn’t take it i needed to feel somethin other than shame and pain….She don’t mean nothin to me -”

“That makes it so much worse, That someone who means nothing to you could take you from me”

And like magic there she was lurking in the shadows approaching “I meant nothing to you D? Then what was that back there?”

He rolled his eyes groaning “Crawl outta ma ass woman!”

You glared at the two of them “I hope your happy together, Stay away from me Daryl”

“No Y/N no I won’t I love ya! And you love me. I know you do”

You stormed off back home now aware he was still following you begging you to stay with him. He was still on your heels when you got home Rick met you on the steps hearing the commotion outside you ran to him letting him pull his arms around you and take you inside, You looked back at him, He was crying now “Y/N please, Please Choose me”

“You didn’t leave me a choice Daryl” You shut the door behind your both and Rick guided you up to his room, He lay there just holding you until you had cried it out and fell asleep in his arms and for the first time in a long time when you woke you weren’t alone.

Daryl’s Pov

Nicole had had the gone sense to leave him the fuck alone after last night, Yeah he felt bad for using her then abandoning her like that, He hadn’t meant to be an asshole and he would apologise. He just couldn’t face it yet.

He lay in their bed facing her pillow and closed his eyes imagining she was still there beside him, Why couldn’t he have gotten over his damn ego sooner and just been there like she needed.

Carol had given him the ear chewing of a lifetime when she had found out what had happened. He didn’t care, He didn’t care about nothing anymore there was only Y/N and now she was gone. He had driven her into the arms of his friend like a fucking idiot.

He had tried not to watch them after that night. He had tried to do as she had asked and stay away from them but he couldn’t bare not seeing her face everyday. He watched as she held his hand and he brought her dinners to the infirmary. He watched as she played with Judith and read to her.

He watched as their family nights became more frequent, All around the table like the perfect All American Family. The one thing he didn’t ever see was them kiss, Don't get him wrong he didn’t want to see that but he still thought it was odd. All those nights with both of them cuddled up on the porch and not one kiss? Maybe there was still hope?

Y/N Pov

You weren’t sure if you were happy that Daryl had listened to you and stayed away. You missed him, He had hurt you sure, but you still missed those eyes and that irritatingly gorgeous southern drawl.

Carol had started coming to the house more to see you, You had missed her too. She had become such an important person in your life and it had made you laugh watching her being so curt with everyone but you, With you she let her walls down she was loving and kind.

It was on one of these days sat on the porch with Rick, Carol, Carl & Judith that it happened.

You were all laughing having Judith point to each of you and say your names, She pointed to Rick “Dadddieieieee”, Then to Carl “Carrrrullll” then to Carol “aun carell” and finally to you.

“Mummmyyyy” The group fell silent now.

You froze not knowing whether to laugh or cry. It had made your heart swell with joy and sorrow.

You looked up at Rick who seemed to be in the same torment as you, Shock across his face.

You turned Judith to face you “No Baby its Auntie Y/N” She grumbled at you grabbing on to your hair “mamamamama” You looked back up at Rick, He just shrugged standing up “Anyone need another drink?” You handed Judith to Carol “I’ll just be a minute” You looked at Rick’s back going into the house, She nodded in understanding.

You followed him in and saw him leant against the kitchen counter with his head in his hands.

“I’m so sorry Rick, I didn’t mean for that to happen” You stuttered “I never told her that’s who i was” You said approaching him and putting your hand on his arm.

His head shot up “Course you didn’t. But that’s basically who you have become to her now. She loves you” He pulled you into his arms looking into your eyes. “We all do”

The moment you had waited for again for weeks was here again he softly pressed his lips to yours looking for approval, You smiled and kissed him back. It hadn’t felt electric like it had with Daryl; you hadn’t even felt your core stirring as it did with him, But it was nice and it made you happy and helped you forget for a minute.

Rick looked back into your eyes, Lovingly brushing the hair from your face “We’ll take it slow okay?” You giggled and put your hand back in his. “Okay slow it is Mr Grimes” He smiled back at you and led you back to the porch back to this incredible family who had accepted you fully flaws and all.

You continued like this in your happy bubble trying to ignore that strange niggling feeling in the pit of your stomach.

One night after you had put both of the kids to bed you decided it was time to break the cycle of sweet kisses and cuddles in the night, You needed to feel something more, You needed to know if it was just Daryl that could make you feel like you did or if Rick could do too.

Coming down the stairs you spotted him in his usual spot on the couch, Head back, Eyes closed with a glass of whiskey in hand.

You took a deep breath, this was your time to try. You headed over to him swiftly straddling him and took the whiskey from his hand, Draining it in one and placing the glass on the table behind you.

Rick looked up at you curiously, Carpe Diem, Seize the day You thought to yourself pushing your lips to his urgently. He met your urgency with his, Wrapping his arms around your hips and pulling your core closer to his.

You reached down to the buttons on his shirt, Fumbling slightly as you opened his buttons. Once you had finished with the top button he pulled his arms away from you letting you remove it fully.

Your hands happily roaming his chest now. Rick put his hands to your hips grabbing the sides of your shirt and pulling it over your head, his hands now reaching to the clasp of your bra and his lips moving to your neck kissing and sucking with need.

“Wait! The curtains!” You moved off his lap, Your hands covering your almost naked chest, You looked out briefly across the street to see if anyone had seen Rick came up behind you wrapping his hands around you, Kissing your neck. You giggled, grabbing the curtains and slamming them shut.

Turning around you let your lips meet his again, stumbling back to the couch you let him lay you down and remove your jeans, You watched as he stood and kicked his off too. With you both now only in your underwear he lay on top of you grinding his erection into your core, his hands and lips now roaming around your chest.

You let out a stifled moan covering your mouth with your hand, The last thing you needed was the kids walking in on this, Rick wandered your body for a few minutes kissing every inch of your bare chest and stomach.

He made his way back up to your lips kissing you sweetly before asking “You’re sure about this Y/N?”

Rick’s Pov

He had been unsure how to feel about this new closeness with Y/N, His kids sure seemed to love her. He was starting to think it may be possible that he did too.

Once Judith had started calling Y/N Mama it had settled it for him, Watching them day after day together, Watching her teach Carl about medicine. She had brightened up a once somber home.

Hell she was brightening him up, After losing Abe and Glen to Negan he didn’t think it would be possible to laugh and have a carefree day again, Between all the commotion with Y/N and Negan’s threat still looming she was the most incredible distraction.

He was happy to move at her pace, After everything she had been through she deserved to take things slowly for once and for the first time in a long time they had a home that gave them time.

As a man he couldn’t say he didn’t want her, In fact he couldn’t keep his eyes off of her, Every time her body brushed against his he felt all the heat from his body move to his groin, Desperate for more but unwilling to push her before she was ready.

He couldn’t believe it when she had come down and jumped on him, He thought it was one of his dreams at first, When he saw her beautiful body undressing in front of him he thought he could have exploded right there.

Groaning when she moved off of him to close the curtains, He couldn’t take anymore and followed her putting his hands all over her body enjoying the glorious heat coming from her body, How sweet her neck tasted. It was so overwhelming.

He got her back to the couch knowing they would never make it upstairs. It was like the fever had taken hold and his body was burning for her. Hearing the sweet moans coming from her nearly pushed him over the edge again. He had to last longer than this, She deserved it.

Trying to stem his emotions, Needing to make sure he hadn’t pushed her too far.

“You sure about this Y/N?”

He could see the fire in her eyes as she nodded “Yes, I’m sure” Bringing her lips to his again urgently pushing her tongue inside his mouth, He me it swirling and dancing their tongues together.

Annnnnd just like every other time he had tried to enjoy himself, Someone just had to ruin it.

There was banging at the door “RICK, RICK we need ya naw!”

Shit! Daryl!

He saw the panic in Y/N’s eyes too as you both jumped up and hurriedly dressed, “JUST A MINUTE!” He checked himself and you over making sure you were both clothed and opened the door to him “What? Where’s the fire?”

“It’s Negan, He’s early”

He locked eyes with “Y/N, You got the kids?”

“Yeah i’ve got them don’t worry just go!”

Rick ran after Daryl down the street towards the gate when he came across them, As always trying to instil fear in his people. He felt the rage replace the previous burning lust. He knew he had to keep this down or he could risk someone being hurt.

“Well well Good old Ricky boy” He nodded at him “Negan, You’re not due for another 3 days! We aint ready for you yet”

Negan laughed “What do i care if you’re ready? You’re ready when I say you are! You should have learnt this already or should I have lucille teach your guys another lesson?”

“NO! We’ll get ready, Just give me some time”

“I’ll give you some time Ricky boy, I could sure use a drink! Keepin you asshole’s in check is thirsty work”

“I’ll have someone bring you something”

“You call that hospitality? I came here to your town to do business and you don’t even invite me into your home for a drink? Now that won’t do. Besides I don't see Carl and that badass is much better company than you pussy’s”

Negan brushed past Rick Lucille resting on his shoulder and walked cockily up to Rick’s home, Acting as if he lived there he just wandered straight into the house.

“Well aint this a surprise! Rick the prick has been keeping you hidden! What’s your name sweetheart?”

Y/N pov

You looked at Negan hate filling your eyes, You stayed silent trying to convey all the hate and anger you could in that one glare when suddenly a noise on the stairs broke your concentration, Head whipping around there was Carl rubbing his eyes still in his Pyjamas. “Carl go back to bed sweetie, Don’t come down here”

“Now now girly. I’ll have you know he’s the one i’m here for! Get your ass down here Carl”

You looked at him desperately now “Please he’s just a child, He’s tired let him go back to bed” You pleaded with him.

He smirked back at you. “Well i can’t say no to a pretty face. I’ll tell you what you mosey on and get me a drink and tell me your name honey and carl here can go back to his sweet dreams”

You jumped up and grabbed the Whisky from the side board and a glass slamming them on the coffee table and rushing towards Carl “It’s Y/N” You muttered before ushering Carl back to his room.

“Stay here Carl, Lock this door and don’t come down no matter what you hear”

“I’m not a kid Y/N i can handle myself”

“I know you can Carl you could probably do better than me, but we need you to stay here with Judith and keep her safe. Can you do that for me?”

He looked thoughtfully for a minute and nodded “Yeah i can do that” You kissed his brow “Thank you, Thank you. I’ll come and get you when he’s gone”

You descended the stairs slowly, eyes flicking between the men in the living room, Negan was sitting in the same place you and Rick had been earlier and Rick & Daryl were standing by the window being guarded by two men each. You stood by the door eyeing him warily.

“Well come on down Y/N Come sit by me, Have a drink, I promise i won't bite…. Well not unless you ask me to” Winking as he said this.

You poured yourself a glass and sat as far away on the two seater couch as you could.

“I think you guys need a lesson in manners! When i said sit by me i wasn’t kiddin!” He grabbed your arm pulling you to his side and wrapping his arm around your shoulder pinning you too him, He raised his other hand and ran his fingers across your face to your mouth.

“God, Aint she a pretty thing! That mouth looks damn great” He looked at Rick now “Now if you were a polite host you’d let me have a go at the pretty little mouth, I bet it can do some dirty, Dirty things. Am i right Rick?”

You whimpered trying to escape his grasp, Feeling the tears of anger threatening to fall.

A few seconds later both Rick and Daryl were forced to the floor as they both tried to get to you. Daryl yelled “Get ya no good mitts off her!” While Rick yelled something similar.

“Shit, They double teaming you sweetheart” You glared at him still not speaking. “Well? Cat got your tongue? I come here in good faith just wanting a drink with a pretty girl and you just look at me like that? I can make you talk Y/N. I’ll show that one Lucille's thirsty side if you want?” Starting towards Daryl

“No!” You screamed, Negan Laughed in response. “You gonna do as you're told now sweetheart?” You nodded letting the tears fall now.

Pour me another drink and come and sit right here, He patted his lap for emphasis. You felt the revulsion coming up your throat as you did as he asked, Your face sheet white not daring to meet the eyes of Rick or Daryl as you sat in his lap. You thrust the drink into his empty waiting hand.

“You wanted to talk so talk” You spat at him mustering all the venom you could.

He laughed “What no foreplay? Bet you could be real dirty” He used his free hand running it up your thigh. “And what makes you say that?” You said Glaring at him “Well for one, Your shirts on inside out darlin” He said pulling at your shirt enough to see down it.

They couldn’t fully restrain Daryl now. “Get ya dirty fuckin paws off of her, Don’t ya touch her.” The two guarding Daryl had forced him back to his knees now.

“Now now” Negan tutted, “This won’t do. I’m sorry to ruin such a lovely date darlin but that one’s got to be taught” He released you now pushing you onto the couch before rising and nodding to his men who dragged Daryl from the living room whilst the others released Rick, Rick ran straight to you pulling you in arms, “You ok Y/N” “I’m fine, Daryl, Daryl needs you”

You both made for the door to see Daryl on the floor being repeatedly kicked in the stomach Rick tried to restrain you and talk Negan down at the same time. You fought past him and flung yourself over Daryl protecting his body “Stop this! I’ll do whatever you want Negan just leave him alone”

“Now that’s more like it!” Negan whistled at his men to stop and grabbed your arm again pulling you tightly against his chest and his core. Holding you there for a moment smiling at your squirms. “Thought this was your woman, Not his. Guess your anyones aren’t you honey”

Daryl tried to stand back to his feet stumbling back to his knees as he tried to make it to you again.

Negan laughed again “Looks like you’ve got a lot on your hands, The sanctuary’s doors are always open for a sexy ass like you, So come find me when you want a real man” He grabbed your ass as he said this kissing your cheek and then releasing you.

You rushed back to Daryl kneeling in front of him again protectively. “C’mon Sheriff lets go check on my goodies” Rick looked at you worried, You nodded back at him and he left with Negan.

Carol and Sasha were there in a flash. You looked at Carol desperately “It’s ok Y/N i'll stay with the kids you take care of him” Without a second thought you turned back to Daryl putting his arm around your shoulders and lifting him. Sasha rushed forward and grabbed the other side helping you carry him to infirmary.

When you had made it Sasha hurried back out the door to check how the situation was going with Negan.

You started cleaning Daryl’s face softly watching his eyes flutter open as you did.

“Y/N?” He tried to stand “Where is he? I’ll fuckin kill him!”

“Shhh, Daryl Shh it’s ok. You're ok. Rick’s with him” He lay back down his eyes trying to hide the pain as you said Rick’s name.

“What ya even doin here Y/N Aint cha gotta get back to your boyfriend”

Hearing him say boyfriend like that boiled your blood “I’m here because your stupid ass got yourself beat up and I had to jump in to stop them killing you! What did you do that for! Why did you even care?”

“Ya boyfriend sure as shit weren’t gonna do it, Ya expect me to watch that piece of shit Negan run his hands all over ya too?” He spat at you before continuing. “He were lookin where he shouldn’t, He was lookin at what was mine”

“Fuck you Daryl, I’ve managed to take care of myself pretty fucking well with out you and yours? You gave up the right to call me yours when you pussied out.”

“Don’t call me that! Ya call what you've been doin well? You let him put your hands all over ya Y/N You let Spencer - “

Yelling now “Don’t even fucking go there! How fucking dare you. You have no idea, Yeah you said you heard me tell Carol but you have no idea what it was like being there. You have no idea what he did to me! He was relentless! He made me wish I was out there with the dead, I’d have rather been torn apart by walkers over and over again”

Anger flared in you again when you felt the burning tears on your face. Wiping them away furiously you refused to let him see you cry. Not now.

His eyes had softened now “Y/N i didn’ mean too I’m sor-”

“I don’t want your sorry’s Daryl, I want you to lie down, shut up and let me take care of your wounds so we can go back to pretending the other doesn’t exist”

He tried to speak again, You shoved his shoulder down on to the bed “I said don’t, I don’t wanna hear it”

He cast his eyes downwards and let you continue with your work. You checked him over, pulling his shirt off nonchalantly as you could manage trying to keep your breathing steady when you saw his rippling muscles. You were pissed that after everything your body still craved him. You felt yourself blush as your mind wandered for a few moments remembering all the kisses you had laid over that incredible chest all the times your nails had dragged down his skin in ecstasy.

Shit, He had noticed your blush, You turned away clearing your throat. “All done, You can leave now”

There was silence for a few minutes neither of you moving, The tension building by the second.

“Why was your shirt on backwards Y/N?” he breathed clearly not really wanting to know.

“Don’t be Naive Daryl. You know why”

“So you….You….With him?”

You took a breath sighing you couldn’t lie to him “No I didn’t, We didn’t get that far. I don’t know if we would have done”

“I disturb ya?” You nodded feeling oddly ashamed.

Surprisingly he grinned “So in all that time, Ya never did?”

“So what? Rick gave a shit about me! He gave me time to heal and be ready!”

“Nah he didn’t he just knew ya wern’ his”

You rolled your eyes, Not this again.

“I’m my own Daryl, You need to stop thinking you have a claim on me”

He rushed up to meet you amusement in his eyes “If i had no claim on you, Then ya’d of let him do it and you didn’ “

He pulled you close to him now, Your body betraying you and instantly melting into his.

“Ya mine and ya know ya are!”

He didn’t give you a chance to argue as he pressed his lips to yours, You unwittingly moaned into his mouth opening for his tongue naturally letting him in and letting him take charge.

Daryl gripped your hips pushing you backwards and then up onto the bed. He pulled his lips away letting his forehead rest on yours, Both of you taking a moment to catch your breath.

“I’m yours Y/N just like ya mine Y/N we belong to each other always have.” He said confidently, You looked in his eyes seeing only the truth. He continued “An i won’ hear ya deny it again”

“I’ll show ya every minute how serious i am, I’ll make ya believe me when i say i love ya. I love ya so fuckin much.” He looked awkward before blurting out “I’ll show ya if you marry me.”

Holy shit! Did he just say what you think he did? He pushed his lips to yours again murmuring “marry me” between every sweet kiss. Not allowing you to think he was fully on you again, You could no longer tell your body from his with the rush of lust burning in you. His hands were like fire pushing their way up the back on your shirt pulling you closer.

You were ripping his shirt open now, Buttons flying in your desperation to get back to his chest, He followed your lead now pulling your shirt roughly over your head and bringing his lips to your neck sucking and biting.

You pushed his vest and the remains of the shirt off his shoulders hearing it hit the ground you hurriedly moved your hands to his belt undoing it, Then his button and zip. Hearing his jeans hit the ground you smiled into his lips, Grasping his huge member with your hand and pumping it. “God Y/N slow down your going to rip it off before we get to the good part!”

You slowed slightly earning a grateful moan from him, He fumbled with your button moaning into your neck. Tugging at it again he lifted your hips and ripped the jeans from your legs.

He looked down at your writhing against him, “Damn girl those pantie’s again?” He played with the lace in his fingers for a moment before pushing his finger through the fabric creating a hole.

He looked at you mischievously “oops, Guess these are no good now huh?”

Your mouth dropped open as you watched him grab your panties with both hands ripping the fabric from you. Scraps of fabric falling from his hands, He wasted no time cupping your heat and pressing on finger to your opening, Swirling it slightly. He Moaned into your mouth again “Always so wet for me Y/N” he brought his finger to his lips sucking it. “Mmmhm so sweet”

Your eyes fixed on each other as he slowly knelt between your legs bringing his face between your legs and licking you slowly, Running his fingers tips softly down the inside of your thighs making you shudder.

As much as you hated to admit this to yourself after everything that had happened, You knew nothing and no one could make you feel like Daryl did, It was like your body was attuned to him. Desperately craving more, Needing more of him.

He ran his tongue down from your clit to your opening, Darting it inside you. “Oh shit! Mm Daryl” You moaned.

His thumb moved to your clit swirling around it urgently while lapping up your juices as they came.

“Aahhh babe i'm gonna cum, Get up here please!”

He smirked up at you “Tell me who’s ya are Y/N”

He swapped his hand and mouth around driving two fingers up to the hilt in you, nibbling on your nub softly and attacking it with his tongue.

The dam holding back your pressure burst suddenly, Crying out you held his head into you and rode out your release on his hand. He moved his mouth back to your opening drinking every drop that leaked from you.

Gasping you felt the pressure retreat from your body, You saw Daryl's mouth still working on you and felt the heat returning so suddenly.

He left a sweet kiss on your nub running his hands up your body and standing between your legs again, You saw he must have removed his boxers during as you could see his amazing length propped up against his stomach.

You licked your lips staring hungrily at it. He pumped himself a few times before bringing the tip to your folds. You pushed your hips further towards him dying to feel him inside you again.

He held your hips in place stopping you. Holding his lips close to your ear. “Who’s are ya Y/N Tell me or i walk”

“For fuck sake Daryl! You know! I’m yours now take me!” You growled.

“Tha’s better girl” He nipped your ear still holding your hips tightly and drove himself into you hard. You whimpered when you felt him fill you to the brink, You would never get used to his size.

“FUCK” You screamed as he held himself still inside you waiting for your body to open up further for him.

“God, I’d almost forgotten how big you are!” You exclaimed, Resting your head on his shoulder.

“Trust me Y/N, I aint ever gonna let ya forget again” He growled into your ear pulling almost all of the way out before thrusting deep into you again

“I’ll never forget how tight ya are, how ya get so fucking wet fer me.”

All of him was sending your senses into overload seeing his incredible body, His hands touching you everywhere, Muscles rippling under your fingers, The words he spoke taking over your every thought, His scent masking yours now and his sweet taste lingering in your mouth.

It was too much to take with his rhythmic pounding. You felt your walls tightening while your nails dragged down his skin, “Tha’s it girl cum for this cock”

You tried to hold on waiting for his release. “Y/N i can’t hold on much longer, Let go for me baby”

His words sent shivers down your spine and you felt yourself explode around him, Crying out and falling backwards on the bed. He leant over you gripping the bed at the side of you pounding harder into you, Taking your nipple in your mouth he moaned onto it.

Your walls were clenching now with the remnants of your release driving him over the edge. He moved his mouth to your shoulder biting down hard trying to control his loud moans.

With a few last pushes into you he pushed himself to the hilt inside you crying out your walls draining every last drop of him. His arms faltered and he collapsed onto your chest.

You were both gasping for air then, Your head still blissfully foggy. Holding him in your arms grateful for this moment, This was where you belonged. In this moment he was starting to feel like your Sun again.

He pushed up and out of you now lying down fully on the bed and pulling you on top of him.

“Round two?” He grinned. “I think we had best go see what’s going on outside, Negan’s still here and I need to talk to Rick.” You sighed looking away from him “This isn’t fair on him”

Regretfully you got up from Daryl and handed him his boxers, You both got dressed slowly not wanting the moment to end.

Once you had dressed making sure your top was on the right way round this time, Daryl left his shirt there as it was useless now. You turned to him “You ready?”

He held your face in his bringing you to him and giving you a long loving kiss. He sighed contentedly “I am now”

You placed another kiss on his lips. “Ok, Time to get back to real life!”

As you walked through the door Daryl went to hold your hand, You pulled away looking at him apologetically. “Not yet Daryl, I still need to talk to Rick. I don’t want to hurt him” He nodded at you “Ok but talk soon?” You nodded back and left the infirmary.

Heading towards the group at the gates you noticed even with the limp he now had from the beating he took earlier he seemed to be walking a little taller, You smiled wiping it quickly and putting a serious face on.

“Y/N! Came to take me up on my offer of a real man eh?” Negan said cockily striding over to you. You stayed silent glaring over at Daryl hoping he got your meaning and didn’t try anything again. He balled his fists but stayed in place. Rick made his way over to you now looking between you and Daryl curiously before putting his body in front of yours.

“You got what you came for Negan, I think it's time you let us be”

“Oh hoho! Rick the Prick getting jealous!” He turned to you winking “I’ll be back to see you again Real soon Y/N Make sure you’ve got a glass waiting for me and i'll have a lap waiting for you”

Leaning forward he kissed you cheek and whispered in your ear “Nice to see you got your top back on the right way” You blushed furiously and noticed Daryl had come to your other side fists still balled up close enough to strike if he tried to touch you again.

Negan put his hands up in defense “All righ guys and gals, Pack it up and let's get rolling”

Turning back to you “Awh hell and one for luck” He pointed at you with Lucille and pointed to his cheek. You swallowed your revulsion and pecked him quickly on the cheek before darting back to Rick and Daryl. Rick and Daryl both went to put their arms around you protectively and you brushed them off. “Oooh you do have the boys in a tizzy!”

With that he jumped into the van patting the door and left Alexandria. The group as a whole let out a collective sigh when the last of the cars drove out and the gate had been slammed shut behind them.

Rick put his arm around you nodding at Daryl “We need to go make sure the kids are alright. Goodnight Daryl” You nodded at him too and allowed Rick to pull you home knowing this was going to be difficult.

You think a part of you did love Rick but it wasn’t fair to him to continue this when you knew how you and Daryl felt about each other.

When he closed the door behind you, You headed straight up to Carl’s bedroom to check on him and Judith. Judith was sleeping peacefully and Carl was by the door waiting for you, You guessed he had been at the window for a while watching out for danger, Your little ranger.

Carl let out a big yawn when you told him all was fine, You saw him back in bed tucking him in and kissing his forehead goodnight before heading down to Rick.

“Whiskey?” You asked walking into the kitchen. “Please” You grabbed two glasses and poured a hefty amount into each. Knowing it would definitely be needed.

“Porch?” He nodded in agreement and you both made your way to the swing instead of taking your usual place curled into him you sat on the other side of the bench looking at the glass in your hands.

“Soooo -” You started awkwardly. “It’s ok Y/N, I know.” You looked into his eyes “You do?”

“I do, I think I always knew you were jus passin through, On your way back to him. Jus promise me one thing?”

You nodded still in shock at how easy this conversation had gone, You took a big gulp of your whiskey. “Anything”

“Promise me you’ll still be around for the kids, I know we didn’ intend it but with Judith now seein you as her mum, I just can’t bear to see her lose another one.”

You leant forward now putting your hand in his “Rick i love those kids, Like they were my own. If they want me I will always be here for them whether its like a mum or whatever they want me for, I’m here.”

His turn now to take a big sip of his drink, He pulled you into him, You let him curling into his chest like always. “I don’t want anything to change with you either Rick, I still love you. It’s just a different kind of love” You looked up at him and allowed him to press a loving kiss to your lips.

The kiss was a goodbye to what could have been. Breaking the kiss and nuzzling back into his chest, You laughed “I’ll still be here to cook the kids dinner can’t let their dad poison them!” He chuckled back at you, “The doors always open Darlin an your rooms always waitin for you if you ever need it again”

Daryl had made his way over to you both nervously, Rick nudged you. “Evenin Daryl” “Rick” He said curtly staring at you. You kissed Rick on the cheek and stood up out of his arms making your way to Daryl putting your hand in his you smiled at him.

Rick chuckled again “No need to look so nervous man, Y/N and i had a chat about it. Were cool, Wouldn’t be right if i stood in the way”

Daryl looked visibly relieved moving from you to Rick giving him a swift hug. You headed into the house and up to Rick’s room packing your small bag of things. On your way back down you popped your head in on Carl and Judith smiling happily as you saw they were both asleep.

Heading back to the porch Daryl had your glass in his hand now empty.

“Kids are asleep, I’ll be by at breakfast to talk to Carl. I think he needs to hear it from me”

Rick nodded at you looking nervous all of a sudden. “I’m gonna be leavin on a run to gather more supplies for Negan’s next visit. Can you watch the kids for a few days? I’ll let you know when?”

You smiled “Happy too. See you at breakfast!”

You and Daryl left the porch, He took the bag from you lugging it over his shoulder, You walked past the house he shared with Carol and aimlessly walked around the town. Daryl was the first to break the silence.

“That was too easy righ?” “Yeah, But he’s a great guy just wanted us to be happy”

He looked uncomfortable brushing the hair in front of his eyes “Why’d ya kiss him Y/N?”

“Don’t worry love, That was just goodbye”

He nodded thoughtfully. You stopped near the fence “Don’t be jealous Daryl, Rick will always be a huge part of our lives, Especially now… They became my family… Don’t make me choose”

“I wouldn’t dream o’ it sunflower” “Good because you’re basically a step dad now, Sure you don’t wanna run Dixon?”

He laughed awkwardly “I’ll take it as long as it comes with ya. Jus don’t make me wait too long. I’ll be wantin my own”

Your eyes went wide. “Really?” He pulled you to him, “Yah really. And I want to start the fun bit right now.”

You knew it was coming this time but it still made you gasp when he bent down and threw you over his shoulder heading home with urgency. You laughed smacking his ass as he walked. “Always with the caveman routine Mr Dixon”

He smacked your ass back grunting “Man know how fire work” Eliciting a full laugh from you, You loved silly Daryl, Who were you kidding you loved every mood of the frustrating Daryl Fucking Dixon.

You waved to Carol in the living room still over Daryl’s shoulder, She grinned back at you as he kicked the door open to the basement and carried you down. Throwing you on the bed you moved to pull him too you. He pushed you back.

“Naw wait a minute lil lady!” He rushed across the room searching in a draw, He was holding something in his hand now coming back to you.

You sat up curiously “Daryl what’s -” He cut you off “If you’d shh for one damn minute i’ll tell ya..” He looked at you amused.

You pressed your finger to your lips cheekily. He looked nervous again now.

“I got this on the run just before...Well before all that. I knew then I had to have ya be mine”

He unfurled his fingers holding a beautiful silver and diamond ring out to you.

“I were serious, I want ya to marry me. Naw Gabe has set up the church we can do it all official like if ya wan’”

“If you want to do it all official Mr Dixon you’ll be needing to get down on that knee for me!”

He chuckled at you instantly following orders.

“Will ya be mine….For Always”

You paused making him squirm for a minute before smiling “Yes Daryl, I absolutely will.” Happy tears springing to your eyes.

He gave you that beautiful megawatt smile you loved trying to put the ring on the wrong finger fumbling with nerves, You laughed and helped him put it on the right one before moving onto his lap sweetly kissing him.

Pulling you up to him he kissed you gently moving his lips from yours down to your chest. You moaned his name, The loving kisses driving you wild already.

You stripped each other slowly savouring the moment. Lying back on the bed bathed in the moonlight he pulled away staring into your eyes, before slowly moving his fingers up your inner thigh around your core, Making sure to not touch too close to your core.

His fingers traced a bath over your stomach to the other thigh and down he bent his head kissing you from where he started and followed the same path his fingers had run, Following his kiss with his fingers again.

Not once did you break eye contact. He moved from your legs repeating the same movements over your arms across your collarbone down the other arm kissing your ring finger before moving to your lips.

You wanted to remember the way the moonlight glistened on his skin forever, You closed your eyes letting him kiss you deeply, Moving over you and shadowing your body with his, He nudged your legs apart slightly breaking away from the kiss.

He stared into your eyes again filled with love before he moved his eyes to your lips slowly pushing inside you. Watching your lips form an ‘o’ gasping as you felt him slowly enter you.

It was too much to take you pushed your lips to him deeply again letting him make love to you slowly.

Like every time before it you didn’t think He was capable of out doing himself again. But he did!

It was heaven, every hair on your body standing on edge, He rested his forehead on yours not breaking eye contact again as you both quickly became undone under each other's gaze.

Moaning each other’s names, His slow rocks into your body becoming more urgent as he approached his limit, Seeing the effect the slow love making had had on him sent you over the edge, Moaning his name louder now your body shook, grinding down needing to feel all of him. He exploded into you watching your rolling orgasm. The pulsing of his cock making the rolls of pleasure last longer. “Oh god, Oh god Daryl Mmmm Baby, I love you”

“Fuck Y/N I love ya so much” His body twitched as the last of his seed emptied deep inside you. He rolled to the side thoroughly spent gasping for air.

All you could see was stars now. Panting to calm yourself down you rolled onto his chest. Curling into him.

Your eyes struggling to stay open after that earth shattering orgasm.

You whispered, “For Always, my sun”

He kissed your head “For Always Sunflower”

You fell into a blissful sleep, There was not a single person who could of been happier than you ever again not with Daryl Fucking Dixon by your side.

<---- Previous Chapter

226 notes · View notes

papers4me · 3 years

Text

Fruits Basket,Se03, Ep 8 (part 1)

“ I hate myself, so much, so intensely, so completely, I wish I just go away, disappear for good, & yet in the end, I always protect myself, instead of taking responsibility, I run away every damn time, like now, I’m too scared to even look at your face”. The real kyo under the layers of trauma.

This quotation is why this ep is not abt romance. Instead it is abt: Extreme self-loath, faulty coping mechanism, self-awareness & inability to make correct decisions due to suicidal thoughts & non-existent self-worth.

This is a guy who’s literally seen death TWICE at the age of 4 & 15 (his mom & kyoko), is trying to avoid the THIRD (tohru’s) & is questioning why the FOURTH isnt happening (his own death).

-The layers of a broken self: Excellent writing:

I applaud the writer for choosing fitting methods to portray her characters’ own trauma. Yuki “ prince” mask & tohru’s “i’m okay” mask were fitting to hide their trauma & uncover the real personalities. However, since kyo would be the character to hide secrets & carry guilt, the viewers need to feel he’s hiding sth w/o knowing what it is. It was done cleverly to (a) tie the plot together, (b) build kyo’s character, (c) fit the climax, (d) suit his trauma of severe guilt & self-loath. Some of the things he does can fit two genuine layers: Both layers are true:

His initial refusal to open up to tohru in early se01. (Surface layer): he doesn't know how to interact with ppl who accept him as he confessed to shigure, (Deeper layer): he avoided tohru cuz he knew her!

He initially refused to join leisure activities & trips: hot spring & kyoto trip (Surface layer): he didn’t want to go with yuki (Deeper layer) he didnt want to spend time with tohru as he was unconsciously feeling that he’s stealing from her.

It killed him to see her true lonely self behind her fake mask & approached her with advice. se1, ep5 (grandpa house), se1, ep23 (sick tohru), se2, ep 8 (hiro’s remarks) & other instances. (Surface layer): he was noticing her issues, & genuinely wanted to help her cuz he’s kind (Deeper layer) he was falling in love w/her & unconsciously wanted her to be happy with HIM.

There were times when there was ONE layer, such as: kyoko’s 1st grave visit. He was so off, rigid, unresponsive, & completely shut down. Everybody read him. Yuki, tohru, Arisa & hana. they just don’t know why he behaving like that. his trauma manifested itself deeply that he apologized to tohru in her sleep cuz he was “ too scared to even look at your face”.

- Kyo’s trauma takes physical shape: (Clutching his heart: PAIN, clutching his stomach : DISGUST) :

While confessing to tohru, kyo’s features spoke volumes. You can see disrepair, guilt, broken soul, sadness & surrender. His body reflected his emotions:

wide eyes (disbelief), Cat eyes (utter fear)

trembling body (overwhelmed with toxic emotions)

clutching his fists (anger at self) , opening fists (surrender to darkness)

hand covering face (shame), Hand around neck as he finished confessing abt kyoko & yuki (desire for death: the final judgement)

The most focused physical appearance was his fist clutching his heart: he was in so much pain as he narrated how he loved kyoko & found a friend in her, desired to make her happy, to find tohru for her, how his his mom withered away out of fear of him & how pitiful & sad he felt towards tohru for loving someone like him. It broke his heart to see them all suffer after knowing him. All the love he felt for them squeezed his heart tight, he wanted to pull it & rip it away. Above all, he was sad to loose them all. Sad he can’t be wit them.

Then he clutched his stomach: representing the pure disgust he felt at himself. As he realized that there is no escape from being responsible for their death, as he admitted he illogically blamed yuki, his disgust with himself boiled in his stomach. What kind of disgusting horrible person does that? blame someone illogically? I’m horrible, hateful & utterly undeserving to be forgiven. Being disgusted with one’s own self! oof! it was so well-done with animation!

-Tying Mature Themes with Child Trauma:

Through kyo’s story, there were different mature themes that excellently dictate his behavior, mentality & emotional well-being: Excellent writing!

(1) The desperate need for self-worth: To be good for once!

by constantly destroying his self-worth thro contempt (the sohmas), rejection (his mom), hate (his father), pity (kazuma/ kagura, initially), kyo searched for an outlet to be a worthy human. Someone who deserves to be loved for who he is. He found that in kyoko. It is brilliant that kyo didn’t look for a mom in kyoko. He called her “ old hag”, she told him unflattering facts abt herself “ neglecting her daughter”. she was his first real friend. He found comfort being with her. He wanted to return the intimate feeling he felt deep down, kyo is so hung up on giving as much as taking as it contradicts the notion of pity. The opportunity came! Helping her find her daughter! being someone who does good! Return the daughter & feel worthy of being a true friend, a man (aka a person). “ i’ll help her, I’ll protect her for sure! it’s a man’s promise” The promise in its core is abt kyo wanting to be a person. Not a monster, or a cat. A true real boy. Away from all the toxic past emotions. Being a man: means being a big boy (person) with good achievements! All this shattered when a better boy beats him to it. The boy who was always praised, loved & respected! kyo’s self-worth diminished greatly & all the toxic emotions came back!

(2) The downfall of faulty coping mechanism: Creating a Bad Guy:

I stated before that one of my fave scenes of kyo was in se02, ep23 when kyo lashed out at yuki on the stairs upon seeing the hat & how yuki felt nothing but pity towards kyo as he was stuck in the past while yuki moved on. Brilliant scene that explains why one moved on & the other didn;t. Yuki’s faulty coping mechanism was being withdrawn & shutting himself. This coping mechanism didnt make him feel better at all!!! Also, he doesn’t have regrets nor sins, he dealt with his faulty coping mechanism with tohru’s help & the school council & healed gradually. Forever loving the writer for writing the distinction between kyo & yuki logically without painting any as monster in reality. Kyo couldn’t do as yuki for the following reasons: ( remember the old theme of everybody heals on their own pace? love it )

(a) He was addicted to shifting the blame as it made him feel better abt himself!! he shifted his thoughts from “ I wanna go away for good” “ mom, why didn’t you kill me instead” to “ it’s not my fault at all, it’s yuki” No match between the two feelings! one leads to suicide, the other leads to feeling like a mere victim. The two feelings are wrong tho & He knows that! he isn’t ready to stop the drug. He can’t face himself. “ the bad guy, if he isn’t as awful as you think, who you’re left to blame”.

(b) nothing around him can make him feel better. Tohru? but she’s kyoko’s daughter! she’s a lonely orphan, carrying her mommy’s pic taking to it! why? cuz you didn't save her! Loving tohru? is good & I wish we can run away far & be together always! wake up! why would she wanna be with a disgusting monster like you?!! You dont deserve her! you who caused his mom to die, caused her mom to die, blamed an innocent guy! Yuki? yeah, look at yuki, you can never be like him, watch as his true kindness gets noticed by tohru, the school & everybody!! he’s everything you cant be!! he should be with tohru! not you!! Master kazuma? poor guy! you brought him nothing but misery! you see his sad smile, don’t you? he’s disappoint in you. Kagura? she pities you!

(b) Kyo can’t fix his mistakes. kyo watched as yuki got back with his brother, befriended haru again, goes back to the sohma estate for the holidays. he feels he cant have similar reweds as he cant bring the things he needed. his mom, kyoko, his bio dad’s affection, kazuma’s pride in him, tohru’s love & his own satisfaction at himself. kyo just hates kyo “so much, so intensely, so completely”

(c) his fault coping mechanism mirrors his dad’s. Kids pick up toxic habits from parents all the time. Even his suicidal thoughts mirrors his mom’s! brilliant writing!

3- running away from responsibilities: perfectly constructed theme!

Who didn’t? I’m guilty! ugh! one of the best themes in furuba hands down! Any other writer would have made kyo do it once, or twice & have him face it in climax & then deal with it. but NOT takaya-san! She excellently took her time with kyo repeating this exact mistakes over & over to better portray the theme & take it out from the boundaries of story-telling to realistic depiction & logical gradual progression:

kyo ran away from being accused of killing his mom (he’s completely innocent & isn’t responsible for his birth’s deformity/curse nor his mom’s suicide)

kyo ran away from accepting kyoko’s words that yuki isnt bad & most importantly that kyo is good. He had found relief in blaming yuki, now you wanna tell me I should look into myself? I’m bad! i dont wanna look. your words are weird “ no bad or good” Everybody says otherwise, the sohmas, dad & mom! kyo angrily ran away (completely guilty but excused as child would be).

kyo ran away from facing kyoko’s body & wanted to punish himself with death. Depression took over him as “ master tried to get me to keep living”. (completely guilty in his own eyes, if only he tried to safe her, even if he transformed, Even if she still died regardless!!! he hates himself for choosing the disgusting kyo over the kind kyoko)

kyo ran away from telling tohru the truth upon seeing her, pretended not to know her, slowly dying each time she smiles, slowly falling in love & wishing for a chance with her, a chance he believes doesn't deserve.

Kyo ran away in se01, ep14 when remembering the accident as shigure triggered him. Tohru consoled him & he lost the chance to come clean.

kyo is running away now. Unable to face her “ too scared to even look at your face”. “ I cant forgive me! I dont want you to fogive me either”

So, after running away the first time, kyo should’ve learned better, right? now in the climax, he shouldn’t have run away? Yes, he should. cuz simply, he isnt ready. We dont learn from our mistakes cuz someone told us. we learn when we fix the core issue. A guy who thinks he deserves a chance in life would stand tall, confess his sins, argues, talks, tells the story unbiased, then waits for verdict. kyo thinks he doesn’t deserve to be alive, thus, tells the story with server bias towards judging himself as unworthy. HE decided the verdict & didnt wait for tohru: “ I cant forgive ME! I dont want you to forgive me either” That’s why toru’s words fall flat. “ why cant you see the truth: I love you” he can’t tohru!! cuz right now it is NOT abt love. It is abt trauma!

4- Sever guilt & desire for disappearance (death):

As adults our mistakes loom over us & we’re constantly reminded of the “ what if I had acted differently”. This ties with kyo witnessing his mom’s horrible death at 4 years old. Death in itself is scary. A loved ones death is devastating. Watching it unfold in shocking unprepared way is destructive. kyo was destroyed. Not enough: he gotta carry the guilt as his dad & the sohma hammer the accusations. He gets another chance & loves another person. Only to watch the blood splash reach his shoes. “Guilty” whispers the past. “Guilty” confirms the present. He stands in front of the most precious person to him. Now what? If tohru forgives you, the pain goes away???? You wouldn’t repeat the ultimate mistake of killing her, would you? you ominous creature. Her mom warned you. The nightmare stands hovering over kyo’s head, waiting to come true. IT WILL COME TRUE!!! OMG!!!

if Akito does it. It wouldn’t be kyo’s fault, right? If the car hit kyoko, it’s not my fault, right? if my mom did it herself, it wouldn’t be my fault, right?

But if only kyo didnt ran away, tohru would be alive. If only I pulled kyoko, she wouldn’t have died. If only I wasn’t born, mom wouldn't have killed herself.

The “ if only “ that killed kyo’s mom as she lamented “ if only I gave birth to the rat” will eventually destroy kyo! ugh!!! AMAZING WRITING!!!

5- The Right Time to Heal (self-desire or outside help?):

When yuki was trapped in Akito’s room, haru visited to help. did yuki accept it? NO. yuki didnt even remember much of it. Why? cuz it wasn’t the right time & yuki was too deep into darkness to notice, to accept & to change. It wasnt until he was out, in co-ed school, rebelling against akito, when tohru came, he accepted her, then it lead him to accept School Council & haru. Tohru had Arisa & hana, but never went to them in her darkest moment, hiding she was living in a tent, they were hurt & confronted her, still she kept hiding her fears, sadness & darkest thoughts, interfering in Arisa’s life to provide help, but never allowing them to interfere, until kyo came & broke her mask, she started to complain, talk, show true emotions & want things! She opened up to Isuzu, too. Arisa & hana weren’t the right ppl at the right time for tohru to heal. Kyo had kazuma to teach him better, kyoko to make him notice his mistakes, tohru to love him unconditionally, the right ppl, but all that was in the wrong time cuz he’s in his darkest moment now like yuki was, unable to see or accept. Healing requires self-desire & outside help, but it gotta be in the right moment, when you can see beyond the abyss & into the faint light of dawn. That’s when words will reach the heart. Kyo need to fall so hard, in order to stand up again. Today, he unloaded his burden, threw up the disgust he felt towards himself, spewed all the hate against the real bad guy: himself! Kyo is kyo’s bad guy, has always been. He needs to let go of hating himself & accept the kind gentle kyo that kyoko & tohru saw ~

Side Notes:

This ep is why furuba wins & deserves 20 years of recognition among manga-readers! this story is real! it is NO sweet fairy tale of two lovers. It is abt one’s self & desire to live. All of them struggle with this particular desire: kyo, tohru, yuki & the rest.

kid kyo was looking for young tohru all night! T_T

this ep of kyo confessing/ narrating his past , reminded me of yuki’s 3 eps of him confessing/ narrating his past!!! ugh! I wish tohru had that! ahhhh.

The 4 months in the mountains weren’t training!!!!! they were depression & suicidal thoughts! ouch!!

Perspectives are what dictate our feelings: Through yuki’s eyes, kyo was so happy with a loving father, friends around him & a house outside the sohmas. Thus, yuki envied him & wished to die not knowing kyo was living in trauma & feeling utter contempt & self-loath. Through kyo’s eyes, yuki was so happy with a living loving family, friends around him & a house with respect. Thus, kyo envied him & wished to die Not knowing that yuki was suffering abuse & neglect!

I love the pacing of this ep!!! It gives room to feel pain & understand the situation!!! I didn’t feel the headache of the bullet train!! THANK GOD!!! SO SATISFIED!!! I was invested all the time!

kyoko’s “ I’ll never forgive you” really destroyed kyo & went beyond it to destroy her own daughter! AAAAAAHHHH ~ T_T

I have some issues with the “ I forgot” part. It makes no sense that they make him forget the accident only to do the cheap cliff hanger in ep 6, then lazily weave it into his confession to tohru in ep. 8. He always remembered the accident. Apologized to tohru in her sleep in se01. ep14 for that exact accident, Then in se02, ep 9. It was ALWAYS in his mind! ALWAYS. Sorry Mr. Director. very lame try. lol.

The only thing I didn’t like is the music! very weird choices throughout the ep! especially at the end. Why a happy music over kyo’s “ I’m disappointed in you? lol!! its sad & tragic?! weird!!!!

I will talk abt Tohru will be in part 2. (her choice, kyo’s answer to her & the need to let go of her mom, the sohmas & of... kyo.

#Fruits Basket #Anime Only #GREAT EPISODE #satisfied paper #final season #Part 1

65 notes · View notes

uwuwriting · 4 years

Note

Hey love your blog. If you write about villains and pros could you maybe write the first I love you with Dabi, Hawks, Fatgum and Shigaraki ????🧡💛🧡💛🧡💛🧡

This is adorable!! Sure thing sweet anon, it’s time for some pure old fluff. Sadly I won’t write for our boy Shiggy here because I can’t see him ever saying those words and because I had no idea what to write about him. I’m so sorry. Love ya💖💖💖.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dabi

-Dabi is very secretive and believes that there is no such thing as true love.

-Due to his childhood and the form of ‘love’ he was subjected to, he strongly believes that love is just trouble and he should avoid it like the plague.

-But the plague eventually catches up to him and gives him you.

-He really wasn’t expecting to catch feelings so fast and fall so hard for another human being.

-A one night stand with a member of the LoV turned into multiple nights and before he knew it you guys were exclusive.

-To be honest he denied his feelings at first claiming that he didn’t care if you slept with someone else but he was proven incorrect the moment he saw you flirting with someone that wasn’t him.

-He swore that you had used a love quirk on him or something because he couldn’t control his jealousy.

-Being the stubborn bitch that he is, he gave you the cold shoulder for a whole week before you confronted him.

-And that’s how you became official/exclusive.

-Now Dabi found himself in a rather difficult situation.

-The league was taking a mini break in order to reduce their chances of being caught and Shigaraki insisted that all the elite members stay at the bar.

-You and Dabi spent every second of the day together doing god knows what.

-Every time you laughed at his comments or gave him a soft kiss on the lips, face, neck, he melted.

-He had been feeling all fuzzy inside for some time now and it felt...weird.

-But the good kind of weird.

-He knew what it was, or he had an idea at least, but he really didn’t want to admit it.

-He believed love was for the weak, for those who deserved it.

-He didn’t deserve it.

-Trying to keep it to himself though was proving to be rather difficult and when you did something especially cute he couldn’t help but want to tell you just how much he loved you.

-The bastard waited for the right opportunity though.

-The only time that you wouldn’t be able to actually know he said it.

-You were sleeping on his chest, your hand over his heart while your head was tucked under his chin.

-He looked at your form and he swore he fell in love with you all over again.

- “I love you.”

-It was merely a whisper.

-You stirred slightly in your sleep, bringing a leg over his waist and tucking your other arm under him, caging him in your embrace.

-Circling your form with his own arms, he decided that true love might not be that bad after all.

Hawks/ Keigo Takami

-This bird man is a tease.

-From the start of your relationship he would joke about you loving him when he did something stupid.

-You would only roll your eyes and return to what you were doing.

-He didn’t mind your reaction, it was normal to respond like that since you two had barely started dating.

-However things changed as your relationship grew and soon he said those words putting more and more of the truth in them.

-He may be confident for the cameras and the public but in reality Keigo is really self conscious.

-He knows that his demons haunt him, he knows that he’s difficult to manage and he knows that he’s difficult to love.

-He doesn’t ask for more, on the contrary he hopes that maybe you will say it first and he’ll roll with it.

-He isn’t ready for the rejection and he surely doesn’t trust himself enough to say those words to you.

-One particular mission left him with severe injuries resulting in him being transferred to the hospital were he stayed for some days.

-You were there the moment you were told what happened and were getting ready to scold him but seeing him in a hospital bed all bandaged up and in pain, broke your heart.

-This man had managed to capture your heart in a matter of months.

-You were so in love with him that on your haste to leave for the hospital you don’t remember if you locked the door.

-And to be honest you didn’t care.

-All you cared about was laying on that hospital bed across from you.

- “Hey dovie.”

-And with that you began ranting and asking him all kinds of questions, until he dropped that one phrase.

- “But you love me.”

-He always said things like that when you were giving him a lecture and you always ignored him, avoiding the question because you were scared of the answer.

-But this time it was different.

-He almost died.

-You might not have another chance to tell him.

- “You know I do, you dumb bird! That’s why I’m here.”

-Oh sweet heavens it finally happened.

-He has been waiting for so long that he couldn’t even make a snarky comment.

- “I love you too.”

Fatgum/ Taishiro Toyomitsu

-Fatgum is one of the sweetest people out there.

-He is a literal teddy bear.

-He even acts like one.

-A moving affection machine.

-How can you NOT love him?

-Even though he’s one of the most lovable heroes, Taishiro has his doubts.

-People often critise him about using his fat form all the time.

-Why doesn’t he go out in public sporting his ripped form more often.

-People are also stupid but Tai doesn’t see that.

-He believes that he may be sweet, but his occupation and the little time he’s got may scare most potential partners off.

-He knows deep down that you are not like that, you have stuck by his side through thick and thin.

-He has seen for himself that you aren’t a superficial person and you’ll stick by him through anything.

-So why is he hesitating?

-You two are out on your usual Friday night dinner date and you’re going on about something that happened at work.

-You look so beautiful and the moment, so carefree.

-He can’t help but think how dependent he has become of your presence and how he cant really imagine his life without you.

-He was chest deep in love with you and he was ready to admit it.

-How bad could this be.

-He waited until you had finished eating and were just enjoying the view of the city below when he grabbed your hand bringing it to his lips.

-He saw how your eyes softened at his action and he was sure that you could see the heart eyes he most definitely had at the moment.

-Finally, after a small pause, he spoke.

- “I love you with all my heart.”

-You looked like you had been struck by lightning.

-The fact that you weren’t responding made him regret his decision, but when you smiled at him again he got lost in your gaze.

- “I love you too, you big dummy.”

-You truly did, with all your being.

-And you loved every form of his, fat or slim.

#hawks #hawks x reader #dabi x reader #bnha dabi #dabi #dabi my hero academia #fatgum x reader #my hero academia keigo takami #keigo takami x reader #taishiro toyomitsu x reader #bnha

1K notes · View notes

secretsniper2 · 3 years

Text

Part 3: New Home

You wake to the sound of an engine, and the strong hum from the toys lodged deep in your body, your still waking up after finally passing out last night but your well aware, when you completely wake up you'll be back on the edge of more orgasms and can barely move a inch to show your desperation. Moaning loud you don't expect to be heard over the combination of the engine and the device your sealed inside, clamped shut your body lays flat in the form, externally it looks like a sleeping woman with her arms by her side, inside your not sleeping, and your far from willing either. Muscles tensing uncontrollably in your pussy and ass and even the muscles in your urethra, you didn't know those muscles could shake so hard till now, but it only serves to push more of you down on the buzzing toys.

Rocking back and forth as the ride bucks you around in your rigid cast you can feel your body shift to a weird angle, your driving up a hill now. Even with your body shaking from the motions of the car, your holes shake far more than you would want them to. After what seems like hours, locked inside this hot cocoon covered in your own sweat, the engine stops and you catch your breathe as you barely hear movement outside your confinement. your eyes slam shut as a helpless “MMMPPPHHHH!!” is wrenched from your throat as fresh juices gush from your abused pussy as your body fully awakens to the savage stimulations you have been assaulted by, your mind locked only on the possibility of having a orgasm, you have been on the edge of a massive orgasm for a full day now, with no rest or stop in sight not that you could see very far with these contacts stealing your vision.

A sudden movement jolts you out of your overstimulated haze as your cruelly rolled around onto your chest, breasts pushing hard against the lid of your prison, continuing on your glad to at least be on your back again, breathing would have been hard with your breasts squeezing your lungs, feeling your body lurch forward your encased feet dig into the ground. turning on your heels your pulled by the head of your case at a uncomfortable angle, too far back to lay on your back and not up straight enough to stand, you resort to ramming your lips with your knees a few times but due to the tight fir your only able to pathetically tap against the lid, barely audible and likely would only make the sick fucker laugh at the attempt.

“How much longer will he drag me?” and “where the fuck am i?!” are the only 2 questions you want answers to right now as you continue your journey to nowhere good. At long last your placed on the ground, your thankful he didn't just drop you to the hard ground, a few clicks and your greeted with a bright light, even with your contacts dulling your vision, your straps are loosened and your eased out of your prison and set, shakily on your toes, still having your toe crushers locked to your poor feet, you teeter on the stones you stand on. Having a collar and leash locked around your thin neck your pulled forwards while you squint, desperate to recognise even a small detail that would clue you in to where you are now, you can make out a large building ahead. “Welcome home slut!” he says with a slight laugh, repulsing you at your very core, your home was a beautiful place, with everything you wanted and needed to get by, now your forced to walk in the only item you actually own.

Pushing the door open your pulled inside by the neck as you stumble to keep your balance as best you can, for what you can see, its dark and has a very foul odour, you take a light breath through the tube in your mouth, the filthy air moving over your tongue and makes you gag a little, shuddering you resort to breathing through your nose, however unpleasant it may be. Pulled suddenly your led around a corner and the man pushes a bookcase aside, revealing a door which you are then led down. The man is having a easier time walking down the stone stairs than you are, for 1 he is wearing boot and your walking on your toes, Eventually landing on a flat surface your leash continues to tug at your neck as you follow in the darkness, your eventually left to stand alone in a dark room in a house you cant escape, in heels you can barely walk in, the stairs behind you would tear your legs muscles apart if you tried to run up them. A arm wraps around you from behind, he grips your firm breast with 1 of his large hands as his other hand trails down your exposed back and rests on your ass, you involuntarily shake your ass in fear as he now has you at 2 ends and is happy with your condition.

“i hope you enjoyed the ride down, I'm sure you did in 1 way at least” he remarks as the hand cupping your ass moves between your legs and slides through the juices you likely trailed through the house till now. “i guess i don't need lube for here, I'm really going to enjoy fuck this tight cunt!” he says in your ear, shaking your head weakly as he speaks results on your nipple being seized hard and squeezed painfully forcing a gagged “mmmpppphhh nnnnnnhhh” from your mouth, the strap between your legs serving its purpose as the toys are held in deep, your womb shaking as the toy vibrates inside. Rocking your head back as your pleasure hits another peak without release your captor pushed you from the small of your back as well as pulling from your nipple, your directed further into the darkness, your contacts making sure that even if this mans eyes can adjust to the dark, your will never be able to. Your knee bumping into something hard your pushed forward as you scream out in fear, only to be caught by a bed, landing face down in its embrace you inhale deep in surprise only to regret in mere seconds later as the bed itself makes upstairs smell like a thanksgiving roast!

Holding your head into the mattress you gag uncontrollably now as your forced to keep breathing the revolting scent, feeling his hot breath against your ear he whispers “yea, that's right, your not the first cunt to be fucked down here, but i like you so much you'll be my last, at least for the next few years!”. Eyes open wide as he puts his weight down on top of you your forced further into the bed, its still damp in some places! “i fucked a nice young cunt on this very bed, i think it was 2 days before i saw you actually! she's gone now though, don't need to worry what happened to that slut, i know she enjoys her new life wherever she is!” he grunts into your ear, “this bit here” he pushes your face directly on a particularly wet spot, “this is where i finally broke the bitch, she came harder than ever and it all soaked in right here! you can practically taste her pussy cant you!” he says as he rubs your face into the wet spot before pushing you onto your back and up the other side of the bed. At least your not being forced to smell the other poor girl, but now your face is looking up as he reaches behind your head and unclips your gag, pulling it out of your mouth your ungagged for the first time “HHEEEEEEELLLLPP MEEE!!” is all you manage before your mouth is covered by his hand. “really pointless move there cunt, were deep underground in a private house in the middle of nowhere, and even IF your voice made it out of the house there wouldn't be another person around to hear you!” he whispers in your face, tears streaming down your face.

Your leash is attached to the top of the bed and the man pushes your legs open, not really having much strength to fight after your constant edging, you feel your crotch strap loosen and your vibrator removed from your pussy. it takes little effort on his part to pull his cock out of his pants and even less to push his hard cock in your flooding pussy, thrusting straight to your womb you blink back tears as he continues to hold your mouth closed, lowering his head to suck on your rigid nipples as he thrusts inside. Uncovering your mouth you whimper as he continues pounding your abused pussy with no care for your needs, your little button desperate for a touch, 1 touch to cum is all she would need in this state, but where every thrust would slam his body on your button, the shield now blocks that, constant denial is all you get as he cums hard inside you without stopping or even slowing down.

Seems like a lifetime passes, but its only been a hour, a whole hour of him ramming your sore pussy with load after load pumped directly inti your womb, “don't worry about the mess, i got something to clean you out every day, your going to love it!” he says with a laugh at the end which makes you believe otherwise, your going to hate every second of whatever he has to clean you with which only serves to make you clench in a mix of fear and anticipation oddly.. The man returns with something in each hand, dropping a cold metal thing on your chest you hear him open a can, “id offer you a drink but i don't have cum in a can, ill pick some up for you tomorrow though.” he says as he takes a drink of his beer. “this thing here is a shower head, its going to be inside your cunt when i turn it on, you'll be a waterfall for me every night!” he says with a loud laugh and all you can do with cry out “p-please don't..” which only serves to make him laugh more and answer with a “keep begging slut, your making me harder than diamonds!” causing more tears to run down your face.

Sitting on your hips the map begins to unstrap your straightjacket, pulling your weak arms from the bindings its quickly strapped in leather wristbands and locked to the top corners of your “new” bed your arms now lay against some rather sticky stains you shudder to imagine what it is.. laying on the bed your ass and urethra continue to hum madly inside you, “please let me cum” you manage to say through a sore throat, “i need to cum” to which he looks at your shielded clit and taps the case, “you want me to play with this little thing don't you” he says, clearly pointing at your covered button, nodding furiously at his question. “be a good little slave and i may make you cum on Christmas!“ the man laughs as he slaps your pussy harder than ever, “its all about me down here, you got that? i don't give a shit if you don't cum, your cunt is keeping itself all lubed up and ready for a fucking anytime! why would i ruin that so you can have a fucking orgasm??” the man was clearly not going to let you cum its as simple as anything could be.

Pushing your vibrator back inside your throbbing pussy he rams it back into your sensitive womb and walks away, leaving you to the mercy of the 3 powerful toys pulsing away inside you. “PLEASE!! PLEASE LET ME CUUM!!” you scream as you hear a door close upstairs. your all alone again with your holes filled with strong toys, held on edge once again but at least your mouth isn't gagged, but if what the man said was true, there isn't anyone around for a long time and you don't know how far he took you in his car! your just laying on this seedy rape bed while your only form of clothes would be your toe crushers still adorning your feet. Hearing the door open once again the man returns to your bedside with a hose in his hand, “i think I'm going to put your cunt to sleep early so i think ill clean it out now, while pumping you full is on my mind!” he laughs as he connects the hose to the showerhead he mentioned earlier, removing your vibrator he lines up the long, cold metal dildo and slowly pushes the freezing cock into your pussy. “Stop PLEASE IT COLD!!” you start to scream as the man continues to push it slowly inside you, your womb swallowing the tip greedily, betraying you.

Getting the dildo in as deep as it can go your rewarded with a blast of freezing water in your womb! cramping ever muscle you have your pussy clamps down hard on the metal cock as the man begins to brutally fuck you with it, pumping constantly as freezing water gushes from your pussy, the pain and numbness setting in as fast as the water flows, the tap it turned off and the water stops. its over for now.. but you remember he said this was your new daily routine.. “please don't.. not again!” you manage to cry out only to be met with laughter, “if you don't shut up its going in your ass next! how long till the water runs out your pretty mouth i wonder!” your mouth slams shut instantly at those words, you don't know and you never want to know… Hearing him stand and turn he call to you as you lay on your bed, legs and pussy covered in freezing water, muscles all over your body cramping constantly, “now gets some sleep cunt, your going to need it!” as he closes the door, leaving you alone again to do as he said.. your eyes close and you drift to sleep quickly, clearly exhausted after a day like this with tomorrow only promising fresh new horrors.

#Stories #Custom

19 notes · View notes

orionares · 3 years

Text

BTHB: Comatose- Part 2

A/N: Don’t have a title yet. Here’s part 2. =] -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She dreams of possibilities.

These possibilities had been buried in the back of her mind a decade ago into the category of ‘broken dreams’ when her partner had disappeared. The particular possibility crossing her mind is a new one, spurred by the day she had jogged away from him with her son in tow on a snowy afternoon.

Noah’s fifteen, tall and lanky with his reddish brown curls, standing with a group of teenagers in matching shirts, black pants and tap shoes. He grins ear to ear with his troop as parents in the audience cheer for an encore.

In this possibility, she’s standing in the second row, clapping and letting tears of pride run down her cheek. Her not-so-little boy has fought like hell for this moment. An arm wraps around her waist and pulls her close to the only person outside her son who has a piece of her heart.

"You did good."

She laughs at the compliment from her once again partner and rests her hand against his cheek. "We did good!”

Her once again partner’s blue eyes sparkle with admiration and love that she’d gone ten years without seeing. In this possibility, they move fluidly as they had before as partners but with a new level of intimacy.

“This isn’t real,” she whispers, barely audible over the cheering and his attention turned towards her son. She knows she shouldn’t lose herself in this possibility.

But this possibility is free of saving the world from predators, abandonment issues, lingering fears of the pandemic and pain. And she’s emotionally exhausted.

So maybe she can stay a while.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Elliot’s woken by a kick to his chair leg.

Expecting Bell and a well needed cup of coffee, Elliot opens his eyes to a blonde haired, blue eyed woman looking extremely unimpressed at the sight of him. The woman had been in Olivia's office, leaving her likely to be one of her detectives.

"Get up," the blonde commands with a southern drawl. Rollins or Rowan, he guesses as her last name from a foggy memory, turns away from his makeshift cot and gives a lingering sad look towards the unconscious Olivia. She huffs out a breath and returns her attention back to Elliot, saying, “Let’s go for a walk.”

"Do I get a choice-" Elliot stops mid question at the I freaking dare you glare very similar to Olivia’s. Ignoring the sudden urge to smile in reminiscence, he coughs and swings his legs off the chair serving as the foot of his 'bed' and tweaks his question," What can I do for you, Detective…"

"Rollins, Amanda Rollins," she finishes. "First off, I don’t like you, Stabler. I don’t like how you up and disappeared without a word for a decade,” Amanda continues as she ignores Elliot’s pained expression. She notices Elliot's flinch at the mention of his disappearance. "Come on. I don't have a lot of time."

Elliot takes a beat to read Amanda- she holds onto a coffee tightly as its a lifeline, wears a grey sweater and black slacks with a small stain likely to be from a marker near her knee.

"Are you a parent?" Elliot probes. Standing elicits a yawn and a useless stretch to fight his tight, aching muscles.

Amanda's expression lightens briefly for the briefest moment. "Two girls. Captain's the godmother for both my girls. Let's head to the garden and chat. Come on.”

------------------------------------------------------

Manhattan is grey and unusually cool for a summer day in July. The hospital's garden has only a handful of visitors that scatter throughout the stone garden. Elliot instinctively scans every face he sees for any ties to Wheatley, even with Richard Wheatley sitting in a jail cell. Amanda leads the way to black steel bench and sits, giving him ample space to sit.

"So why’d you leave her?" Amanda asks as Elliot lowers himself onto the bench. She avoids his anxious look by eyeing the lukewarm coffee in her hands.

"It's complicated-"

Amanda scoffs before taking a sip of her coffee. She fidgets in her seat briefly before leaning forward and resting her elbows on her knees. "That's bullshit."

Elliot runs a hand over the back of his neck and sighs. He replays bits and pieces of his conversation with Noah in his head whispers he fishes for the most diplomatic answer to say. Amanda narrows her eyes at the silence before snapping, "You broke her trust, you know that? My old partner, Nick Amaro, had to double our efforts to gain Olivia’s trust because of you!"

"I know, " he answers weakly. The weeks after landing in Rome are a blur, thanks to alcohol and sleepless nights. "I can't imagine. "

"No, you can't."

The silence that follows is thick between them. The blonde haired detective stares straight ahead with a small white dove statue surrounded by colorful peonies. She takes a long sip of her coffee and mutters, “She’s been through a lot in the last ten years- things that…”

Elliot flinches. Among the suspicious glances of the infamous rogue detective, he’s heard whispers and vague references of “with all she’s been through” whenever he’s been within arm’s reach of Olivia.

“Did something-” the question that’s been buried between his grief for Kathy and hatred for Richard Wheatley spills out, “-did- what happened?”

Amanda finally turns her head to meet Elliot’s eyes. He can read hesitancy in her eyes to trust the man that abandoned Olivia. He also reads a desire to either punch him in the face or shoot him that he’s seen from Fin, the young dark haired officer he met briefly in Olivia’s office, the ADA and oddly, Chief Garland.

“It isn’t my story to tell,” Amanda replies carefully. “There’s actually multiple stories but the big one is something you need to hear from her. Look, Stabler- I’ve only heard bits and pieces about you and Liv and I want to say that I trust her judgement.”

Elliot pushes past his mind already fervently making a plan to scour his ex-partner’s file once he’s back upstairs. A lone raindrops hits his cheek, warning a need to go inside and an end of their conversation. “I’m not going anywhere. I-I’m not- I can’t lose her again.”

Amanda rises to her feet and tosses her empty coffee cup into the black garbage bin next to the bench. With a quick glance to her cellphone screen, she sighs, “Stabler, don’t screw this up, ok?”

He unconsciously fidgets with his wedding ring and only nods in response. There's a never ending list of screw up he carries in the back of his mind where Olivia and Kathy sit.

Two women, lives affected by his indecision.

"Stabler?"

Elliot glances up to Amanda who hasn't moved from where she stands. She sighs before stating ,"William Lewis. He's the big one."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You got a good group of detectives," are the first words Elliot stammers fifteen minutes later once he's back alone with Olivia. "I met Amanda Rollins and she's tough. I like her."

He can imagine her nodding in acknowledgement at the comment with pride. Instead, the heart monitor continues to beep steadily. "She mentioned that things happened while I was gone, "he pauses as his guilt once more bubbles up," Bad Things."

Elliot lowers his head into his hand. "Liv, if I'm being honest, there's a selfish part of me that doesn't want to know. I want to live in a world where- I'm terrified of what I'll find."

Although he had never told her, the near rape at Seaview Corrections Facility had forever seared a permanent place in his mind. He's eternally great full for Fin's save but the could have's sitting in his mind, flaring up with every glance or comment by a suspect-

"I don't…." Elliot pulls his cellphone out of his jacket pocket and notices how much heavier the object feels. "William Lewis- did he try to kill you? Did he ra-"

He cant even finish the sentence before he chokes back a sob. "If he...I shouldn't have left!"

The image of her shifting in her seat, her brown eyes shifting from item to item in her surrounding in a tact to prepare herself comes to mind. Elliot reaches out to brush his hand against her right hand resting on her stomach in an unconscious attempt to comfort her.

And if he's honest- himself.

With two quick inhales, Elliot opens the NYPD database on his cellphone and maneuvers to case search. He sneaks another glass to her before typing William Lewis in the search bar. When a dark haired, empty-eyed man appears, Elliot flinches.

September 25, 2013

January 8, 2014

April 30th, 2014

"Christ," Elliot mutters.

Three different dates.

Three separate incidents.

Less than one year.

The detective readies himself to open the file before his guilt, now running rampant in his mind, flashes a memory of what he had been doing in September 2013.

Camogli.

He had finally slipped into some form of normalcy with his family and had gone to the quaint fishing town on the coast of Italy.

Elliot takes one more glance at his unconscious partner- ex-partner - and opens the file on William Lewis.

And cries.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

She now dreams of Elliot in a jail cell.

He's sitting on a silver bench, leaning forward with an elbow on a bouncing knee. She can see his knuckles to be bloodied and torn and follows the trail of dried blood running up his arms to the bloodied dress blue shirt.

"El," she calls out. Her eyes droop even as she stands on four days of food and sleep deprivation. "You didn't-" the words spill out, "You didn't have to kill him."

There's an emptiness in his eyes that shares space with the lack of regret. "I had to. Lewis hurt you."

Wait- realization comes in dread. Elliot's never been arrested, she's never found him bloodied and bruised in this state and overall, when it comes to William, Lewis- he wasn't there.

She staggers back into the wall.

This isn't right- he wasn't this isn't a memory or a blissful possibility now that he's home.

No, this is 2013 and he's killed William Lewis.

No. This isn't right at all.

#bensler #olivia benson #elliot stabler #law and order svu #bad things bingo #bad things happen bingo

13 notes · View notes

shandaumath · 3 years

Text

A Fevered Dream

“Vynlorin.”

Vynlorin peeled his eyes away from his glass, freeing himself from the ghosts that lived there.

“Hm?”

“You were saying something about Silvermoon.”

Nivathostin sat a seat away, called to dinner hours ago yet still remaining long after the sun had set. Bottles of wine and whiskey littered the table, and the rogue now leaned over to fill Vynlorin’s crimson glass for an uncountable time this evening.

“Ah... Silvermoon. Yes, our home, ravaged by a human child. Isn’t it a shame, Nivathostin? That a foreign child couldn’t be controlled by an entire nation, and we were the ones who suffered for it.”

Nivathostin often sat in silence at dinner, sometimes for a short moment and sometimes for hours. On some days Vynlorin discussed brief business while on others he kept his thoughts to himself. Most nights found Vynlorin retiring to the Valtieri manor, but in recent days he returned to Thornwood.

And on this particular evening, after a shroud of darkness had settled over Thornwood following its baron’s return, a mood so strange gripped the lord. On this evening, Vynlorin poured out every ashen thought that burned in his chest.

And Nivathostin, a man of deep insight and few words, sat and listened to every piece of it.

“You too witnessed your loved ones mangled by the dead, Nivathostin. You too suffered every crippling thought, but those thoughts remained in the grave. You never needed to see those thoughts suffering in eternal undeath, but now I must.”

Vynlorin sipped back a heavy weight, wine glistening across his lips as he stood from the table. His mind rushed in anger, sorrow, guilt, and regret, all stirred by the alcohol that had been seeping in his blood for days.

“‘Burn everything down, Vynlorin.’” The warlock slammed his hand down in front of Nivathostin, the stifling wine on his breath pricking at the rogue’s nostrils. The rogue didn’t stir, pacified by his own amber vice rolling over his tongue.

“Those words keep ringing in my head again and again. ‘Burn everything down, Vynlorin. Burn everything down.’ Spoken by the man whose son died from my incompetence.”

He pushed himself upward, drifting across the room like a manic sprite gesturing wildly into the wind.

“We should burn everything down, Nivathostin. Burn this kingdom down. Burn all of Stormwind and all of Lordaeron. Burn every living and unliving thing that makes us live this miserable life. Oh how delightful it would be to see them burn, to see the trees as beacons sending the souls of the wicked into eternal damnation. Send everyone who scorns us into the Nether where their souls will rot forever.”

Back and forth the lord went, steps soft against the stone as if pacing across clouds -- and an occasional step buckling with inebriation. The fury flowed like molten lava burning off his tongue until he slammed that hand down once more. His eyes burned against the unfazed rogue.

“Burn everything down, Nivathostin. Burn it down with me.”

Nivathostin took another gentle sip of whiskey, unmoved, his misty gaze locking against the warlock. Finally he spoke.

“You let vengeance consume you, Vynlorin, and it has made you a miserable, wicked thing.”

Vynlorin canted his head, a skittering grin relaying his amusement.

“Miserable? Wicked? Oh Nivathostin, there are very few things that make me miserable. Yes, I am miserable because the dead have come to haunt me. I am miserable because the only person who has ever wrangled my love and loyalty seems to despise me. I am miserable because--”

Grief choked him, silencing him. His head dipped, shook, and then he continued.

“I am wicked, Nivathostin. I will admit with every bit of my being that I am wicked. I am wicked because I will go to any length to see our glory returned to us. I am wicked because this world has scorned me too many times and I despise it. I am wicked because I am wicked, and instead of fighting my nature I choose to embrace it. And I will not apologize for it.”

Nivathostin shook his head.

“If my vengeance toward you consumed me in the way that yours consumes you, I would have your head sitting as a pot for some beautiful flower to grow from your ashes. You’re a foul creature, Vynlorin, and I despise so much of what you do and what you say, but I won’t let that vengeance ruin me just as you shouldn’t let yours ruin you.”

The warlock tipped his head back, and a devilish grin spread his lips wide while amusement broke through in gentle laughter. He gripped his glass once more but found a new seat. In a single breath, Vynlorin broke himself away from the table and straddled the rogue.

Nivathostin tugged his head back as the slender lord’s weight settled onto him. Though not imposing in stature, the unhinged mind of the warlock made even the smallest touch raise the hair on one’s neck in fear of consequences, and now the rogue found himself looking up at the man who once kept him imprisoned in unspeakable darkness and torment. The man who ripped his flesh apart and, for a single moment, could have so easily shattered his soul. The man who beat and battered him without remorse whenever he stepped out of line.

“Despise me unashamedly, Nivathostin.”

Yet when he looked up, he felt compassion for the broken being that knew only how to turn his feelings into vengeance -- a sin he once shared.

Vynlorin’s fiery gaze pierced against Nivathostin’s calmness. His wicked grin dared the rogue and sought to incite chaos, but Nivathostin’s peace couldn’t be riled. Whiskey settled on his brain, and soon his hand found Vynlorin’s hip while the other swirled the amber sliver watching from the glass.

A silent moment passed and the warlock’s fire wavered. He sipped back the last of the wine, discarding the empty glass on the table behind him before cupping the rogue’s cheeks in his hands to reiterate his command.

“Despise me, Nivathostin.”

A quiet plea. A proud façade. Nivathostin knew this charade. He shook his head, refusing to feed the toxicity fueling the warlock’s heart. Vynlorin’s grin fell away, but when he tried to stand Nivathostin’s grip tightened and forced his body to remain. The rogue shot back the last of the whiskey, and he discarded the empty glass like the rest before his hand joined in restraining the baron.

“Don’t live like this, Vynlorin. You will suffocate under the weight of your own ire.”

The warlock dipped his head closer, words biting through his teeth.

“I am suffocating, Nivathostin. And someday I will die and you will die and every living thing on this miserable planet will die, but mine will be the most wretched of all.” His fingers dug into the back of the rogue’s hair, forcing the other’s gaze upward as he shifted forward on Nivathostin’s lap. The warlock loomed over his prey with sharp and slanted eyes.

“Let me be wicked. Let me break everything. Seeing those miserable faces seething with scorn toward me is all that delights me anymore. I will control every single one of them.”

A hard swallow rolled down the taut flesh of the rogue’s neck. His breathing deepened.

"Controlling them won't bring the dead back."

"I don't want to bring the dead back. I want them all to despise me as much as I despise them."

The words bragged of great emotions, but they were betrayed by fate's mockery of the fiery speaker's physical stature. Nivathostin, fueled by drunken courage, dragged his hands up Vynlorin’s slender sides that fit so easily within his grasp. The hem of the shirt crumpled up with the movement, and stray fingers found the warmth of the warlock’s tender flesh that tensed against his touch.

Vynlorin boasted a thin frame stitched together by lithe muscles sharpened through his craft. Nivathostin, a man who lived in a rigorous routine that hardened his body, knew the warlock was thin, but feeling the flesh in his hands brought a new understanding of just how fragile Vynlorin was compared to all the beasts in the streets. It brought understanding of how loudly the lord needed to bark to keep the world from crushing him.

“And what of Thornwood?”

“What of Thornwood?”

Vynlorin paid no mind to Nivathostin’s wandering hands, the sensation fueling some perverse pleasure hiding within him. But Nivathostin’s brow furrowed, and even in his inebriation Vynlorin was sharp. He sensed a realization flooding through Nivathostin’s eyes and let his fingers fall from the ragged blue hair so that the man could sate his curiosity.

“The people of Thornwood adore you, Vynlorin. They would go to war for you.”

As the rogue spoke, he brushed the warlock’s shirt up to reveal a darkened web of flesh that skittered out from the side. Vynlorin craned his neck back, chin jutting into the air, and took a deep inhale that stretched the flesh over his abdomen. He put the fleshy disfigurement on display.

“Thornwood is mine, and I’ll not let anyone that I own ever know the sensation of suffering. Not a soul will set a finger on my belongings.”

“Then you’re not truly wicked.”

Vynlorin snatched the hand that intruded on his scars, fingers curling around flesh and cloth. The dark spot still suffered the chill of the evening air that fueled the lord’s madness. His lips fell beside the rogue’s ear, and vile temptations poured out of them.

“And you’re not truly good, Nivathostin. Let me be wicked, and be wicked with me.”

The rogue’s heart pounded with a thousand conflicting urges each one more vile than the other. His head dipped away, slowly, thoughtfully, exposing his neck to the beast above him. Vynlorin bathed in the reaction. He was a devil feasting on submission and drowning in control. His fingers curled within Nivathostin’s hair while his lips pressed against the man’s ear, and a heavy utter crawled out like chains.

“As long as you choose to stay here, you’ll never know the sensation of suffering.”

The rogue parted his lips to respond, but his words fell into the nothingness of a breath as Vynlorin dragged his teeth along the ear. Vile passion slithered around the pair, entirely devoid of loving affection, and Nivathostin twisted his fingers within the lord’s shirt to trap the sensation there.

And so Vynlorin stayed, pouring his attention onto the starving rogue. His passion sparked, and it learned to burn again after sorrow had nearly suffocated him.

For a moment in time the pair offered each other everything they desired. They invited each other’s sins, fed their poisons, and perpetuated toxic admiration. Nivathostin soothed the wicked lord by offering an ear to his sorrows, and Vynlorin gave the drifting rogue a purpose that kept him striving for a future. They scorned each other daily, but they each derived their own perverse pleasure from it all.

Though the weight of Vynlorin’s grief was enough to let their caged passions burst for but a moment, the moment would eventually pass and those passions would hide once more. The night grew cold, the alcohol heavy, and the morning was upon them soon. When morning did arrive, so too did a renewed vigor for life. Vynlorin broke his sorrow and returned to his work, and the people of Thornwood flourished with a greater liveliness than before as their baron returned to them.

But in the light of day and dead of night, and in the day to day that brought the pair to pass, and at every meal that followed, not a single soul spoke of the madness that transpired that evening. It remained an unspoken moment, living as nothing more than a fevered dream.

( @nivathostin )

#roleplay #from oblivion #void elf #ren'dorei #manic #toxicity

6 notes · View notes

333dolans · 4 years

Text

Light Within The Darkness // G.D

Hey loves! This is my first attempt at writing anything for either of the twins so any constructive criticism is welcomed and very much appreciated. I love you!🤍

Summary: After a heated fight with Grayson leads to a cold night alone, an unEXpected and unwelcomed visitor arrives.

Warnings: Mentions of Abuse and Anxiety. ANGSTY with a lil fluff at the end.

“Are you actually taking the piss Y/N?!” Grayson growled, slamming the door to your small, but cozy apartment. You two had been leaving a small cafè in downtown LA when you had ran into an ‘old school friend’, or atleast that’s what you had told Grayson. He didn’t buy it at all of course, he had a talent of always seeing straight through you anytime you lied. He could read you like a book, he had your body language memorised like his favourite tame song and he knew this wasn’t simply an acquaintance from your early teenage years. When he tried to ask simple questions about him, you became very tense and he could see you had began grinding your jaw at the very mention of his existence and the encounter you had just had. you’d began cracking your fingers, a tell tale sign that you were rapidly becoming more and more on edge. He didn’t want to cause an argument from his tendency to always want to know what is going on, his need for control, so he let it slide. Well that was until you crossed paths with mystery man once again. “Two years with no interaction and we see each other twice within a half a hour period? It’s a sign from the universe Y/N, we should get back together haha!” The man joked. You smiled awkwardly, feeling the heat rising within Grayson. You couldn’t tell if it was due to the mans comment, or the fact that you had lied about this man being your most recent ex. It was probably a mixture, you thought to yourself. Grayson turned on his heel and was started off towards the Porsche just a few metres away. You rushed a quick farewell and dashed after your boyfriend.

“Gray can you just let me-” “Y/N. Don’t.” He interrupted. You didn’t dare speak another word until you made it back to your apartment. The car ride was a silent one, something you wasn’t used to in your entire relationship with Grayson. You two were always jamming out to a throwback playlist and singing your hearts out. When you arrived, He made his way across to where you were standing in the living room. “Gray, I’m sorry ok? I didn’t want to make things awkward for you. He’s my ex- boyfriend, it was uncomfortable and I just wanted to diffuse the situation as soon as I possibly could.” You tried to reason. “Don’t you think I was just as uncomfortable probably even more so when I found out he was your ex?! You should of just told me but instead you lied to me.” He argued back. “How could it possibly have been worse for you G? I have so much history with him and things didn’t end well between us. Why are you making this about you? You’re not even considering how I felt, it’s always about you isn’t it?” You whispered the last part, defeatedly. “If it’s ‘always about me’ then maybe I should leave, Wouldn’t want you to be stuck with someone so selfish!” He screamed. You could feel the tears building behind your eyes, he knew as well as everyone else in your life that if there was one thing you couldn’t take, it was someone shouting at you. It always sent your anxiety sky rocketing and left you spiralling. “Leave Gray. Now please.” You whispered, holding back the desperate urge to breakdown in front of him. “With pleasure, Bitch.” He spat before leaving your apartment the same way he entered. Those words, although simple ones, held so much more meaning to you when they fell from his lips, lingering in the air and consuming your mind. The tears instantly began to stream, letting out a choked sob. “If only you knew.” You thought out loud.

You were jolted awake by an increasingly louder banging on your door. You glance over at your clock, 2:39AM. Grayson. He had came to apologise for acting like such a dick. You slipped out of bed and wrapped your blanket around you tightly. The relentless torture your front door was under not once letting up. You peaked through the peep hole, you weren’t a complete idiot, you had to be sure it was Gray. But who else would turn up at your door at this time right? Crack. You felt your heart shatter and swore you could hear the broken pieces hit the hard floor of your hallway. There, stood your ex boyfriend, Riley. You could of sworn you were frozen to that very spot, but your brain took control and carried you off towards the bedroom, rapidly grabbing for your phone and gripping it tightly to your chest. You creeped back towards the door cautiously, not wanting to make too much noise. “Riley you need to leave. Now please.” You spoke politely, which was beyond what he deserved. “Y/N! Open the door please. I need you. I’m a mess without you. Seeing you today reminded me off that!” He pleaded. “You’ve survived 2 years, keep going. I have a boyfriend Riley. Please leave.” You responded, heart non stop pounding against your chest, taking your breath away with every thump. “Y/N! YOU STUPID BITCH! OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!” He growled through the door, repeatedly kicking at it now. “JUST LEAVE RILEY!!!!” You retreated into your bedroom, then into the bathroom and locked both doors. You violently sobbed into the blanket that had been wrapped around your body as you reached for your phone.

To Babe💘: Gray, please.

Read at 2:45am

3 missed calls from Babe💘

To Babe💘: Hello?

Read at 2:52am

You sobbed even more, realising that he was ignoring you at a time when you needed him the most. You don’t remember when, but you must have eventually passed out on the cold bathroom tiles. You didn’t have the energy to get up, so you sat up against the side of your bath. You reached for your phone, only to see not one single sign of contact from Grayson. You felt the all too familiar feeling rising in your chest and taking control of your breathing. Another panic attack. You hadn’t had one in months due to the calmness Grayson provided, he was your light within the darkness, but he wasn’t here to save you this time. You texted him once more before you fully broke down.

To Babe💘: Grayson please, I need you. Now.

You knew this would work. His full name over text was only ever used in an emergency. You shut your phone off to try and focus on your breathing rather than how shitty your boyfriend was being right now. You had completely forgotten about the text and 30 minutes later you heard the front door swing open. “Y/N!? Where are you?!” Seconds later he enters the bathroom and finds your small form, tear stained cheeks and violently shaking from your cold night alone. “No no no, baby I’m so so sorry. Y/N look at me yeah? Focus on my voice. Deep breaths for me.”

He tried to scoop you into his arms but you cowered away. In that moment he swore he could feel his heart shatter. He had become the man he’d promised you he’d never be. Grayson knew you had and still struggle with your mental health, although he didn’t know much about the causes of it all. He let his anger get the best of him once again and he hurt you in the process. “Angel, I cant express how sorry I am. I didn’t mean to snap at you and I certainly didn’t mean what I called you.”

There it was again. His words began to replay in your head for the 100th time. “With pleasure, Bitch.” “STOP! Please make it stop Gray. I don’t wanna be back there anymore, I can’t be back there.” You begged him, clinging to his shirt now. He cautiously began to rub his hands along your back, palms sore from the strength he used to grip the steering wheel on the way over to your apartment. “Back where love? Talk to me please, I want to help you.” The feeling of Grays hand on your body, knowing he was close to you, knowing you were safe now, your breathing slowly began to regulate. You finally lifted your head and looked up to meet his eyes. Teary and bloodshot, a mirror image of yourself. You could see, scrap that, you could feel that he was sharing your pain. He didn’t know why you was feeling it, but he could feel it all nonetheless. You took in a shakey breath as you began.

“Riley seriously, they’re a pair of shoes? I bought them as a treat for myself for getting promoted.” You tried to explain to him, annoyance growing every passing minute. You were always smart with your money, never splurging out on fancy items. You’d never really felt like you’d needed them. However, earlier this month you’d been called into your bosses office and offered a better paying position at your work, which you gladly accepted. You’d decided that you would finally buy the shoes you’d been eyeing up for months now but had never talked yourself into buying. They were $300 but you decided you deserved them, your boyfriend clearly didn’t feel the same way. “I don’t care Y/N, you cant just start spending our money so carelessly, especially not this close to when rent is due and for something so minor as a promotion.” He countered, words laced with resentment. You couldn’t help but let out a snort. “Our money? It wasn’t ‘our money’ when you went out and bought that watch.” You pointed to the, in all honesty, hideous watch that was strapped around his wrist with pride. “I spent my hard earned money on those shoes because I deserved them, I worked for them.” You spoke, calmly and with confidence. “I seriously don’t understand your problem, please explain? Like I know it may be hard for your fragile masculinity to accept that not only a woman but your own girlfriend earns more than you, but that doesn’t give your misogyny a free pass to belittle my achievements”. You knew the second you said that, you would come to regret it. “You want me to explain? With pleasure, Bitch.”

The tears were once again streaming down your face once you finally stopped to breath again. “It was abusive and toxic, I knew I had to leave him, I had to get out of there so I did. I never looked back after I left but I guess life has a way of not letting you forget your past, no matter how hard you try to.” You sighed, so tired from the nights previous events. You’d explained to Grayson about what had happened with Riley turning up at your door, you’re grateful he’d left before Gray got there otherwise you may of been spending your night bailing his ass out of prison right now instead of in his arms. You’d explained about your past with him and why things had ended. You knew Gray had many more questions but it was clear you were not ready to answer them right now and you were extremely thankful he left the topic alone. You quite frankly didn’t want to entertain your memories of Riley anymore and Grayson knew that. He planted a kiss on your forehead before scooping you up, “wanna watch a film and cuddle? You can choose the movie.” He wiggles his eyebrows and gave you his signature smirk. “Yes please, only if you bring me the ice cream though!” You giggled, letting the last 3 hours fade to the back of your mind.

You were out like a light after 30 minutes, head in Grayson’s lap as he carelessly traced shapes along your arms, watching your chest rise and fall and lips slightly parted. “I will never let this happen to you again, you have my word. I love you more than I love myself angel.” He spoke gently, watching in awe as your lips curled to form a faint smile. “Mine” he thought to himself, “All mine.”

221 notes · View notes

belovedbangtan · 4 years

Text

Dive | Part 4 | jjk

Pairings: Jungkook x y/n, Yoongi x oc

Word Count: 2.5k

Description: Camping with your ex, sounds horrible right? The camping trip was planned and payed for long before y/n’s shitty boyfriend broke up with her. Her best friend Abby, Yoongi, Taehyung, Jimin, and Jungkook are there to make sure she has an amazing time. However, sharing a tent with a smoke show like Jungkook is bound to lead to some complications.

Warnings:Language, oral sex, dom!Jk if you squint, mouth fucking... whoops.

✨✨⭐️✨✨⭐️✨✨⭐️✨✨⭐️✨✨⭐️

If the sound of the heavy rain hitting the top of your tent wasn’t enough to wake you, the defining sound of lighting cracking a tree in the distance was. You gasped sitting up quickly, almost forgetting where you were. His warm palm runs up your arm, making your remember. You turn your head back to look at him, his eyes were heavy like he had just woken up. He softly wrapped his fingers around your upper arm, pulling you back into him. A sigh falling from your lips as you snuggled back into your safe space. His right arms wraps around you so that his fingers can run through your hair, while his left comes across his stomach searching for your fingers to lace his through. You quickly find them, looking up at him through your long lashes.

His soft eyes finally meet yours, “You make me feel things I’ve never felt before.” the words fell from your lips in a daze. Soft and unsure, but maybe talking about it would make it seem less foreign.

The corners of his mouth turn up while his eyes sparkled, “I can relate,’ he drew in a long breathe, “I cant really explain it either.”

You nod while readjusting yourself, sitting up and crossing your legs. He copies you, sitting up tall playing with the hem of his t-shirt.

“I just got out of a relationship a week ago,” You rake your fingers through your hair taking in a long breath.

He cocks his head to the side taking his bottom lip in between his teeth, “Did you love Ben?” his voice is small, you can it’s not something he wants to talk about but you both know that its needed.

“I don’t know, I think so.” you rub your hands over your thighs, being forced to think about how you actually felt about one of the longest relationships you’d ever been in.

“You think?” He reaches out to take your hand in his. The instant tranquility that washes over just by being touched by him is something you can’t ignore.

“While I was in it, it felt like love to me... but,” You sigh searching his eyes hoping to find the words,“how do you know what love feels like?”

He tries to suppress a grin as he looks down quickly, he looks back up at you with adoration lacing all of his features, “I think it feels like this…”

Your chest tightens as you process what that means, you wish you weren’t so scared of everything that his words represented. You agree though, wholeheartedly. If you were ever to describe the feelings of falling in love, you would describe this moment.

“Why were you with him for so long if you weren’t sure you loved him?” His voice is soothing, almost as if you were fragile and if he spoke too loud you would break, “If you don’t mind me asking.”

You blink as his thumb brushes the back of your hand softly, “I think, maybe, I just liked having someone to call my own,” You start to explain. Telling him that you did have feelings for him, but you knew deep down that they weren’t feelings of love. You never thought about getting married, or having children, or a future at all with Ben. While you felt that way, a part of you felt secure knowing that you wouldn't be alone.

“Maybe I’m an idiot for staying as long as I did,” You look up at him and he shakes his head.

“I could say the same about all the relationships I’ve ever been in…” He starts to explain, “I think it’s normal, I think it’s what you’re supposed to do until you eventually find someone that makes you think like that. Someone that consumes your every thought, almost makes you feel like you were missing a part of you until you met them.” His hands are warm when they slide up your forearms, he tugs when he gets to your elbow. You follow his pull so that you’re straddling him.

“As scared as you might be, I promise you I’m feeling the same way,” He takes your face in between his hands letting his thumbs brush the area just below your eyes, “But it would be even scarier to stop whatever this could be.” His finger points from him to you repeatedly.

“Jungkook, we’ve literally only known each other for 3 days,” You close your eyes feeling psycho finally saying it out loud.

“Look, I’m not asking to get married or anything. I just think you should know how incredibly whipped I am for you already,” He chuckles as his lips lightly press onto the tip of your nose.

Your eyes lift to meet his galaxy filled ones, they made you feel so warm. The kind of feeling you get when you finally get to slide into your bed after a long day. They felt like home. Of course, those feelings are always accompanied by some form of fear, but he was right. You would regret it forever if you ignored the way you felt for him.

“Whipped, yeah?” you lean away from him, letting your pointer and middle finger dance along his collarbone, “Tell me a little more about that,” your eyes widen sarcastically, he instantly scoffs loudly burying his head in your neck. His laughs are muffled, and his voice is soft, “Oh shush.”

He pulls back his face is serious now, “Are you feeling better?”

You nod in response hoping that he believes you. Your head still hurts and your throat is as dry as the Sahara. He reaches besides you to grab his phone, picking it up and seeing the LED screen lights up with the time, 2:42am. He lays back, keeping you on his chest. His fingers combing through your hair carefully.

“I don’t want to leave tomorrow,” you whisper

“Why not?”

“I don’t know, I guess I’m nervous to get back to reality.”

He sighs, “No I’m ready for it.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm, there’s so much I want to do with you.”

He feels you smile into his chest, butterflies in your stomach start to feel like full blown birds. The fact that his brain instantly started to place you into his life was heartwarming to say the least. Yours was doing the same though. You couldn’t stop thinking about what your friends and family would think of this amazing man. The image of all of the dates you would go on, and all the sex you would have was obviously at the forefront. You instantly feel your core start to heat up at the thought of how he would fuck you. You knew he was the giving type, which could only mean that he was also that way in bed. Picturing the way his body would look above yours, as he fucks you into the mattress. You shake the thoughts, recalling that if you wouldn't have gotten sick you might have seen him naked running into the river.

“Did they all skinny dip tonight?” you tilt your head upward so that you can see his face.

“Mhm.”

“You didn't go?”

His brows scrunch together and he looks at you like a crazy person, “You were literally white in the face, love.” He brings his hand up to your cheek, “besides... the only person I have the desire to skinny dip with is you.”

You look away, with your cheeks burning red, “Well then I’ll have to make it up to you.”

“I’ll never say no to that,” He rasps, while his fingertips dip underneath your shirt. His knuckles brushing back and forth on your hip, the simple touch alone sets your body on fire. Your breathing starts to quicken, and you need to touch him. You turn your head away from his chest to reach his neck. Your lips linger under his ear for a moment, before you drag them down to his collar bone.

His breath hitches, “Mm, your lips feel so good.”

He has no idea how good your lips feel, but you want to show him. You scoot yourself down his body, lifting his shirt so you can pay attention to the abs that he works so hard on. His cock is straining in his boxers and your cheeks redden knowing you did that to him. As your tongue traces the indentations on his stomach, your hand floats down to let him know you’re aware of his situation.

“I feel like you haven’t quite seen their potential,” you look up at him through your lashes, “Can I show you?”

His brows nit together, “Please,” he begs, tongue peeking out to wet his lips.

You smile devilishly at him before sliding his boxers down his legs. You reposition yourself to sit in front of him, between his legs. You take him in your hand pumping him slowly, as filthy thoughts flood your mind. How badly you want to sink down onto him and feel him deep inside you. Without thinking you bend forward teasing the head of his cock with your tongue. He hisses at you throwing his head back, apparently you weren’t the only one with dirty thoughts running through your mind. You wet your lips before kitten licking him again, this time his eyes are on you. His tongue jabs against the inside of his cheek. The change in his demeanor makes you feel like you might melt.

You instantly take him into your mouth, swirling your tongue around before pulling him out with a popping sound. You kitten lick him one more time before looking up at him again.

“Baby, please stop teasing me.” His voice is weak, you can see how turned on he is.

Without answering you wrap your mouth around his cock. Bobbing up and down, you take his cock deeper each time. Feeling him tap against the back of your throat, you start to moan. The vibrations from your throat earn a guttural moan from him.

You pull yourself off of him, letting your hand mimic what your mouth was doing. Your finger comes up to your lips, with a quiet ‘shh’.

He grins at you before he reaches down, tangling his long fingers in your hair. You take him off guard when you lean up to spit on his cock. His brows raise when your mouth follows the string of spit back, taking him in slowly. You start to bob your head again but slower this time. His fingers tighten at the back of your head, and he starts to push down. Slow at first, making sure it was something you were into. You start to moan, and he takes that as an invitation to keep going. He pushes you down onto his cock, making you gag for seconds before pulling you off of him.

“FUCK, Princess. That feels too good.” He sits up quickly pulling your mouth to his, your tongues dance for dominance. You whine into his mouth, needing more from him.

“Want you to fuck my mouth,“ you beg into his mouth, your hand still working mercilessly.

He grins as he continues to peck your lips and cheeks, he loves seeing you so fucked out. He instantly starts to think about how sexy you’ll be when you’re begging for his cock inside you.

“Such a good girl, you want me to cum down your throat?” His tone is taunting, you nod your head aggressively, “Please.” You beg, and you know this is unlike you but your body is screaming for you to please him.

You lower your head again, with his head pushing gently. You control yourself at first, until he puts his hands on each side of your face, slowly lifting his hips to meet your mouth. He picks up his speed, and you feel tears start to prick in the corners of your eyes. You wont stop him though, you need to feel him finish in your mouth.

His thumb lifts to wipe your tears away, “So fucking pretty with my cock in your mouth, baby girl,” You look up at him and he rams his cock into your throat, making the tears fall harder. He keeps fucking your throat and you can tell he’s getting close with how his thrust are staggered.

“G-gonna cum- Fuck!” He grunts before pushing your head down all the way. You nose meeting his pelvis bone, and you feel his warmth coating your throat. He throws his head back, loosening his fingers from your hair. You pull off of him, licking him clean. He shivers at the touch of your tongue on his sensitive cock. You sit up, wiping your mouth with the back of your hands. You realize he’s watching with squinted eyes. You move to the side letting him put his boxers back on, once he does he pulls you into his arms.

“That was amazing,” His lips press against your temple. You bury your head into the crook of his neck, feeling slightly embarrassed for showing him this side of you so early.

“Are you shy now? Hmm?” He starts to giggle, tickling your side. You laugh hard trying to push him away from you, he stops finally, pulling your breathless figure closer to him. His hands find your face again, “Don’t be embarrassed, you turn me on more than anyone ever has. That was so unbelievably sexy… you are so unbelievably sexy.”

You press your lips into a fine line, is now the time to tell him that he makes you giddy like a teenage school girl? Should he know that even when he isn’t trying, he makes you melt like a popsicle on a hot summer day? Then when he does try your brain basically start to malfunction from lack of oxygen because he literally leaves you breathless.

“I haven’t done anything like that before,” you say quietly, praying that your lack of experience isn’t a turn off, “I’ve done it, just not like that.” You look away, tracing his tattoos with your pointer finger.

“Well, did you like it?” He asked with concern lacing his voice.

Your cheeks heat up and all you can do is nod. He laughs quietly with relief.

“Such a good girl for me,” He rasps while kissing your head again, “Get some sleep, okay?”

Your lids are heavy and your breathing starts to match up with him. As comfortable as you were with Jungkook, you were still shocked that you allowed yourself to take things to that level so soon. When you started dating Ben you made him wait months, just because you weren’t quite sure of things. You have only known Jungkook for three days technically. You could lie to yourself and say that he was just a rebound. Tell yourself that the way you felt about him was normal. It wasn’t normal and there was no hiding it. It was a terrifying thought, and something that you really didn’t want to process. As much as you loved being wrapped in his arms, and the feeling of comfort that accompanied it; your gut warned you that things might be too good to be true.

✨✨⭐️✨✨⭐️✨✨⭐️✨✨⭐️✨✨⭐️

Taglist:

@cainami @carolsummerlove @zeharilisharaban @jikooksgirl19 @fallen-for-luke @madygswich @sugalarity @itboykook @ggukkieeee @peachy-bhun @megs58298

A/N: PLEASEEE dont forget to tell me your thoughts! It makes me want to write more! Also Let me know if you’d like to be tagged! <3

#bts #bts smut #bts imagine #jungkook #jungkook smut #jungkook imagine #jungkook fluff #bts fluff #bts jungkook fluff #bts jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #bts x reader #jeongguk imagine #jeongguk #jeongguk smut #jeongguk fluff

225 notes · View notes