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ryndicate · 1 year

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Winter is Warmer ⨳ Megumi Fushiguro

Winter seems to be universally hated by your lord's country, but it's your favorite season of the year.

notes: this is for @shirohyorin ’s Christmas Calender event. I dug deep into my brain to make this cute little sfw drabble for you guys, hope you enjoy the winter vibes!

warnings: fem reader, sfw, arranged marriage, royalty au, it's cute shit ok

18+ Blog Minors DNI

Rules & Main Links ***please read, i don’t normally write sfw content, so don’t follow me with that expectation.

Your toes dip into the water and you wince, instinctively withdrawing them.

“My Lady?” One of the maidservants notices, and paces over, dragging her fingertips through the surface of the basin. “Oh no, we overheated your bath! I’m sorry m’lady, if you wait a moment we can cool it down.”

“No, this is fine. I’ll adjust,” you assure her, dropping your robe and slipping into the water before she can protest. You breathe evenly through your nose as the water scalds your skin, the scents of the soaps and oils assaulting your senses, and sink lower into the bath.

The maid eyes you worriedly, critical eyes checking you over before she assures that the water isn’t hot enough to harm you. Then she takes a small cup and begins to gently wet your hair, preparing to wash it. “We’ll be more mindful next time. The first snows have everyone distracted.”

The other servants moving throughout the room, setting out clothes and cleaning, are talking amongst themselves about the impending weather, lamenting the passing of the warm season.

“Yes, of course. It’s fine, Noa, really,” you murmur absently, your fingers dancing over the steaming water, leaning back into her touch.

She’s not wrong. The first snows of Hinterland are always cruel and swift, and there’s always so much to be done to make sure it won’t be too bitter. It’s your third cold season in this country, and you've only just gotten the reign of things.

Food has been stocked, meat smoked and herbs dried. You were sure to call in materials throughout the warm seasons to make sure there was enough winter clothing to go around, and firewood. Last winter, a sudden blizzard on the breach of the melt took everyone by surprise, and there were many unfortunate lives lost to the cold. This year, you were determined not to be surprised again, storing a surplus of firewood in the unused cellar space of the knight’s mess hall, enough to last everyone an extra fortnight if need be.

All the extra preparation has left you exhausted, but thankfully you can soon relax. Now that the snows have begun, your duties will lessen. Now that the snows are here, your—

"Head back, my lady." Noa requests softly.

Temporarily pulled from your thoughts, you tip your head back with a silent sigh, closing your eyes as she does her work with the gentlest of hands, allowing you to relax deeper into the water.

Everyone is so kind to you here, something you’re immensely grateful for after the dark shadow of your engagement.

The entire continent had heard the stories of this country’s former lord, and his wicked, warbound ways. And there was no shortage of rumor of his son, the Hinterland’s strongest warrior withholding his father, who obeyed his lord at every turn. When the warlord fell to the White Dragon, the balance of the nations seemed on edge, expecting the tyrant son to replace the tyrant father and begin the fierce cycle anew.

Your father, looking to avoid the unabating wrath of the Hinterlands, did what any Duke might do… he offered his eldest daughter in marriage to the warlord’s formerly unbetrothed son. You were one of the many ladies offered throughout the continent, each seeking the new lord’s favor.

You thought yourself safe, that you wouldn’t stand out amongst all the other nobility, some with better standing, others with greater wealth, or both. You thought you would never have to leave your homeland, but fate chose otherwise. Or should you say, he chose otherwise.

Your father had been elated, your two younger sisters devastated, but you put on a brave face for all of them, and made the most of your last months at home.

The engagement began in the early winter, with your new fiance visiting you every couple of weeks. It wasn’t until you moved to his country that you understood just how costly his efforts had been. Had you known, maybe you wouldn’t have been so reproachful of him.

It was the blinds of your mistrust that led you to feel so powerless in your marriage, your sullen attitude secret to few despite your best efforts to maintain appearances. It led to many fights, and even more misunderstandings until your heart finally thawed.

"You mustn't soak too long, lady. Let's find you something appropriate to wear."

Washed and dried, Noa and the other women help you dress and you're descending to the eating hall when a symphony of horn sounds in the distance, the low regal tones of the knights' return.

Forgetting food entirely, you turn and gather your skirts, steps swift as you all but race to the entrance.

You don a thick cape of wool and furs, beaming at the squires who are pushing through the snow with your horse in tow, faces pink and breaths billowing in the air.

You can hear Noa somewhere behind you calling for you to wait for an escort, but it's lost to the thundering in your heart and on the ground as you gallop through the streets towards the town’s imposing gates.

In the warm seasons, the monster populations run rampant. Goblins pillage every town they come across, wolves and Weres terrorize nomads and livestock, and ogres and trolls make it impossible to move throughout the forests. The knights and mages are forced to crusade, to cull what monsters they can to keep the country's peace. But when the cold seasons arrive, even the monsters take to their nests and dens to wait out the biting cold.

Which means the men are safe to return home without consequence.

You reach the gates and order them opened, impatiently waiting for the heavy oak and iron to be pushed outward. Once they are, you're racing through, and you finally see him.

Your husband, lord of the Hinterlands, rides at the front of his men. Silky black hair, eyes of viridian, Megumi Fushiguro is as tall, handsome, and fearsome as all the rumors tell and more. But the rumors fall short by far.

When Megumi catches sight of you, a knowing smile tugs at the corner of his lips, calling to the unit to slow their approach. The rumors failed to report the heart of fire the lord bears, his warmth and kindness enough to keep any Hinterland winter at bay, at least for you.

You do my men a great service," Megumi greets you affectionately, dismounting his horse with envious grace, helping you do the same as hungry viridian take in the sight of you. "Even a small glimpse of their Lady is surely enough to stoke the flames of their hearts and chase away the weariness of their travels."

"I couldn't stand by after all they've done." You smile shyly. "You were all gone weeks longer than usual this time."

Megumi gives the smallest of smiles, just a slight tug to the corner of his lips, taking your hand into his own as he all but purrs. "How generous of my sweet wife. But aren't you cold? We should get you inside."

As he presses his lips to the back of your palm, a flutter deep within you overtakes the bracing chill. The men behind him hoot and holler, and it's enough to break the spell overtaking your senses, averting your gaze demurely. Then his emerald eyes are staring into yours as he assists you in gathering your skirts to mount his horse, seating himself behind you. His voice is a low, long-missed rumble in your ear. "And you truly couldn't wait a moment longer to be next to me again, could you not?"

You duck your head, fingers curling tight into the edges of the leather saddle as you nod coyly, not looking back at him. There's a new tension in his form now, one that sends a warm flash of anticipation racing through your veins.

But you take a breath, and lean into his chest, feeling his arms on either of your own as he reaches around to take the reins. Megumi's presence is encompassing, deeply comforting, and everything you've been missing.

You tilt your head to look up at his handsome face, and he glances at you shortly as the thundering of hooves fills the air around you.

"What is it, my love?"

"Nothing. I'm just not cold anymore."

Link the rest of the event! Also Bonus Scene

#megumi x reader #megumi fushiguro x reader #megumi drabble #look i have them talking like ye olden (ish) cause it's fun for me 😩🥺#i fucking love royalty au's #ficmascalendar22

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theworldvsyoshiko · 5 months

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Since I just linked it from my main blog anyway, I guess this would be a good time to do a State Of The Union for the colony. I usually do some kind of summary a week or so into each colony, but never got around to it for this one.

The fine seaside orphanage of Robot's Ocean is fucking huge now.

We've got multiple nested layers of defensive walls, a world-class temple and rec room, three geothermal generators, a tidal generator, a solar generator, a full natural gas helixien system for heating and cooling, a greenhouse, a genetics lab with an extensive gene bank, space for 5-6 prisoners to live in comfort, and enough freezers to keep about a year of food on hand at all times. And an in-colony hot spring, most importantly.

The colony's currently worth is about $400k, which is $50k more than any of the previous ones have hit, so it probably isn't a coincidence that I've needed to burn two antigrain warheads on recent attacks. That growth has stagnated a bit, which is fortunate, because as combat goes we're about at our limits. On the upside, we now have something like seven combat owlbears, a Scyther, a Tunneler, a Tesseron, a Centipede Blaster on the way, and of course Yoshiko's pet thrumbo Chiyo.

On the other hand, after investing about $15k into building and upgrading Spencer only for it to die trying to get to its bedroom, we're pretty strapped for cash. And we need some, because the map is just about mined out, and all of these robots and endgame weapons require a lot of materials. Unfortunately the map being mined out also limits our options for producing trade goods. The current plan is to mass-produce... corsets. If you haven't played the game just trust me when I say that this is a sensible plan, but we'll need to do a lot of hunting to make it work.

Following the terrible Tactical Nukes In The Hospital incident, I've rearranged things a bit. The short version is that we've only got one outdoor orbital targeting beacon now, and it should steer most drop pod raids to a less terrible location. Will this help much if another group shows up with a dozen rocket launchers? Hell no. Eventually I'd like to set up one or two extra beacons as decoys.

The population is currently 8, which is just about the lowest it's been in years. These kinds of things happen when four colonists get blown up in one evening.

Yoshiko "Happy" Russell

is, of course, a forever-22 psychic cyborg vampire foxgirl who controls robots with her brain. (Her actual effective age is now 34, but the game doesn't care about that.) She's currently undertaking her Dark Slumber in her Chambyr of Bloode for the next day or two, as one must when they are a vampire.

She's good at fucking everything now. (And good at fucking too; she's got an implant for that.) Her lowest skill is Plants at a 9, or 'solid professional.' She's rated as Expert or better in Shooting, Melee, Construction, Animals, Crafting, Art, Medical, Social, and Intellectual. She has 827 kills, 34 mechanical implants, maxed psychic potential with 10 psychic abilities, and wields a sapient EMP sledgehammer named Nalorgargur. Thanks to being a vampire, the only way to permanently kill her is to destroy her brain. With so many implants, I think the only other ways to even incapacitate her in combat are with an EMP or by destroying her liver. In theory you could make her bleed out too, but she's effectively immune to that. (You should go for the brain thing anyway, because she has pretty good body armor under that parka, but still insists on wearing a beret instead of, like... a helmet.)

Truly she is... the ultimate lifeform.

Toby Lang

Man, this makes for some real mood whiplash. I mean, look at him. There isn't much to say about Lang.

He was found in the wreckage of a space battle a few years ago. He spends all of his time cooking, doing doctor stuff, or handling the colony's pet rabbits. He's no good in a fight. Yoshiko adopted him and he adores her as much as is physically possible; her opinion of him is 7/100.

Actually though, Lang does have one solid accomplishment under his belt. During the last Diabolus fight, all of the blood bags prisoners staged an escape. Everybody who was good in combat was off doing that, and Lang was the only person nearby. So, he grabbed a shotgun and did surprisingly well at controlling the situation. By which I mean blowing their brains out. Can't get any blood out of them like that, but it's better than having them set the base on fire on their way out.

Saburo Richards

Listen, I can't stress this enough. He was like this when I found him. Unlike everyone else, he's an Animusen, a natural foxboy by birth. What benefits does this give? Well, uh. Not any, really. He's fast in the cold and slow in the heat, which was nice before the climate's average temperature got bumped up by 18F.

Richards is still 12 and I'm really hoping he gets some fantastic growth at 13, because he isn't good at anything. For whatever reason, he apparently gets really abusive when he's in a bad mood, because every mental break he's had has been an insulting spree. So most of the colony has opinions of him like

In fact, Olga and Yoshiko are the only two who would even be sad if he died, I think. Yoshiko, of course, adores him.

Raymond "Raywolfen" Wolfen

... has to be the most colorful kid here, as a slug person who was raised by wolves and then crashed outside during a space battle. Don't let the sprite fool you; the game just doesn't know how to render how fucked up she looks. According to her genes, she's got the body of a slug, but covered in scales, with the face of a fox, slug-style eye stalks, and constantly secretes a foul-smelling substance that decomposes corpses. You'd think that being a hideous slug/fox amalgam who smells like rotting bodies would be horrible for her social life, and you'd mostly be right, but Yoshiko adores her. She didn't even adopt her or anything. This happened naturally.

Raywolfen's only really good at combat, but that's okay, because we desperately need that right now.

Ben "Bush" Nitsiza

... is another adopted son who recently turned 13. He's great at melee combat, and got two mechanoid kills while horribly sick with the flu last night. He's... decent at crafting, art, and research. We're working on it. He's not decent at social stuff, but he's the preacher anyway. For now, at least.

Bush actually gets along with everybody else pretty well, which is surprising for somebody with the traits of 'snob' and 'too smart.'

Cindy

... is a sapient mech (it/its) that has only been around for half a year, as part of Yoshiko's ongoing quest to find true love. (This isn't working out very well.) As a hunter-killer mech, Cindy's only really good at combat, and is incapable of... most other things. It's decent with animals and research though, and is slowly learning how to do medicine too.

Cindy is currently flirting with Yoshiko about once every few days, which would be cute if it would just wait until Yoshiko considered it more than a passing acquaintance. It'll work out some day though. I'm sure of it.

Dae-up "Nerd" Kim

Is it fair for me to blame Nerd for the fact that he was chased here by pirates with rocket launchers? Probably not. But it still happened, and it got four people killed. And Nerd's a completely amoral kid who tortured small animals when he was little, so I'm not gonna pretend that I like him. I genetically modified him to be good at mining, so he could mine out the collapsed rocks that trapped Sora as he burned to death. Take some responsibility, you little prick.

Most of the colony likes Nerd, but he's really rooted in his intensely xenophobic ideology, so he hates almost everybody in return. The one person he actually likes is Yoshiko, and that's only because she's ridiculously pretty.

Nerd's actually pretty competent, unfortunately. He's great at mining, crafting, and medical. He's pretty decent at construction, and he'll pick up art fast if we find the time and resources for him to do much of it.

Olga Keuneke

... is 11 and a pretty recent arrival, so there isn't much to say about her. Unlike certain assholes, the trouble that she brought with her was a machine that warmed up our Siberian-ass climate, so I already like her. She's got a huge passion for animals, but she isn't learning much about it because she's not skilled enough to work with our animals. You can't start out by training predatory owl monsters that weigh half a ton.

#the world vs. yoshiko

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iris-nonsense · 8 months

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Okay i finished All for the game and i have many many thoughts since these books have taken over my brain unfortunately.

I want to preface everything by saying that the series is bad BUT i don't think that it's that relevant. Like from what i know these were self-published on a blog and i doubt that they ever saw a professional editor, no publishing house ever touched them, so judging them as one would judge a professionally edited book is not fair and to be completely honest there are books, even popular ones, that are worse than these on every level.

Now that this out of the way here's my thoughts on aftg in no particular order

I love the main trio sososo much. Probably the main reason why i enjoyed this as much as i did is them. All of their interactions are immaculate. I hoped for a three-way relationship till the end

Neil is such a good protagonist. He's insane but he's convinced that he's normal. The fact that he can't shut up sends me every time and even funnier is that even if everyone knows that he can't keep his mouth shut no one does anything to stop him ever, they just let him. And he is so ace you can't change my mind

I love Andrew he's so edgy. And even if he's so incredibly edgy his backstory still hits hard. Kinda disappointed that all of his obsession with Kevin basically disappeared in the last book (with a couple of exceptions) for no good reason, i wanted it to be more prominent in the resolution but it just fizzled out

Kevin. Kevin is my fave. I love him to bits. He is the dark haired deuteragonist of a sport anime. He is the Kageyama of this series. He has two mood 1 being obsessed with exy and 2 having a panic attack 10/10. And i don't care if he has a girlfriend, to me he is ace. The author can say what they want but i don't give a shit. Ace icon that only think about sport and have mental breakdowns

Speaking of Kevin's girlfriend Thea... she's the most weird character in the books. She's name dropped out of nowhere halfway through book 2, then she's never mentioned again till the second to last chapter where she appears for three pages, she does nothing relevant for the plot and she disappear again. She's one of the few characters who has a proper physical description so we know she's hot but her impact is zero. You can remove her and nothing will change. Kevin would have ended up there even without her so why even include her? Like girl you're hot but who are you and what are you doing here?

Talking about hot girls, Allison is my queen. She's iconic, she never said anything wrong ever in three books. She is the only one asking the real questions and she deserved more pages. She and Renee should have kissed at the end

The only thing that keeps the series from being set in generic contemporary times is the way Matt styles his hair. That is so mid y2k every time it's mentioned i got whiplash

Sad that the slurs disappeared after the first book i found them funny and a good way to convey the year the story is set in

The "your intricate and endless daddy issues" is one of the best line ever written it will never leave my vocabulary

Riko has the worst daddy issues imaginable which is 1 funny 2 makes him a good character and i almost feel for him... but then i remember he hurt Kevin sooooo

Jean is pathetic in a endearing way. But he's french and that makes hin lose a lot of points

I'm sad that the Trojans are there for only one chapter i wanted to see more of them

The way Neil talks about Kevin is hilarious. He can't stand him but he talks about him like the second coming of christ. Everything would have been solved if they just had a make out session in the locker room

Still not over the fact that while this books are very much about sport the yakuza is a prominent part of the story. Like that is an important part, half of the books are about it

The ravens are the least serious element in all of this. There's tension about Neil's lies being unveild and Kevin general well being and you are worried for them... and out of nowhere appears the villain team of a children's cartoon with all of them with the same clothes and walking in v formation how am i supposed not to laugh! And how is no one asking questions about them?? After 5 years of living in a cult they are released into the world and you are telling me that they are well adjusted enough to not rise any suspicion about what is going on in there?? No one is asking why there are living quarters in a bunker under a stadium?? If only one person says something after they graduate they will be fucked, there's no one with a family in that team? Why does the yakuza let this happen?!?!?!

The 16 hours long days during the holidays will plague me till the day i die it makes no sense and i find it hysterical. Why are they doing it? Don't know but they do

Riko has a spit kink i said what i said

#i have more thoughts but this is it for today #i still have all of the extra material to go through this mean i'm still not done with these characters yey #if it wasn't clear i loved the books they were a ride and an experience even with all of the bad #i also bought the physical copies and i expect some bad quality for them can't wait to have them in my book shelf #aftg #i'm not tagging all the characters #aftg spoilers

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murderacademia · 1 year

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I don’t have an intro post here and I can’t post my super cool card (PowerPoint) so I’ll try this out instead

I am Cam, I go by She/Her and am currently 18 y/o

I am still considerably new to tumblr and don’t exactly know how to use it. I hail from instagram, if you must know.

My main skill is drawing, I am oh so questionable at everything else. Currently wishing to study character design in coleg. Yay!

I like dolls. A lot. Lifetime special interest. They inhabit my brain 24/7. Usually on social media I have that pink kikipop doll as my profile picture (literally what I look like irl) I just wanted charl here because I enjoy charl oh so much. I own the pink doll!! And many other dolls!! 40 dolls of varying price ranges currently inhabit my room

Other things I like include the color pink, pizza, and money (which I use to buy more dolls)

Some interests I have aaare:

DRDT (duh) Madoka Magica (my fave anime) genshin (unfortunately) Honkai and a few other misc sources

I am simply the silliest of sillies, and I do not bite, I prommy. However what I lack in biting I make up for in annoyance. I am very prone to being annoying about hyperfixiations (take one look at my profile and you will understand) and I urge you to please keep it in mind when interacting with me bc at times I make people uncomfortable and don’t quite. Know wheeen so a bit of patience and understanding is always appreciated 🙏 something something brain worms

As for this blog, I most will just post mostly art and sometimes my incomprehensible rambling. Usually I’d say I draw whatever I want but that nearly year long Charles Cuevas / DRDT hyperfixiation has kept me busy (only fandom I draw for) so. I will attempt my very best to keep this blog on topic w fangans

I am full of thoughts and am waiting to use them. Thank yiu

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notepadsandtealeaves · 3 years

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Kenma Kozume || Kiss Kiss, Fall in Love 🍃

MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT || 18+ ONLY ||

|| ao3 version | series m.list | hq tag | main blog ||

Of many reasons I love you here is one –Bird-Understander || C. Arnold

↠ A love story as told through kisses…

↠ Requested By: Nobody, I just had an ~i d e a~, Mr. Krabs ↠ Reader Gender: Neutral ↠ Content Type: SFW floofy-floof ((but my blog’s 18+ if minors want to consume my sfw stuff while still respecting my wishes of them staying out of this space, they can head over to my AO3)) ↠ Chronology: Pre and post time skip. ↠ CWs: Tetsuro Kuroo is his own warning tbh lmao. At least he’s using his powers of annoyance and scheming for good this time around. Other than that, we should be good, fam… ↠ No betas—we die like grammatically incorrect men here. ↠ Total WC: 6k~

Ngl—the first section is just a straight up oneshot lmfao.

Kenma is one of those characters that I don’t see as being too easy to get close to. Platonic relationships are hard enough to form and maintain with the dude, never mind romantic ones, so to get to such a point there needed to be a bit more background and yeah. Here we are. Enjoy the fruits of me being too deep in my own head/HCs, ig lmao…

((also it’s my first time writing for Kemmy so pls be gentle ;n;))

🍃 First Kiss

You, Always || WC: 3.3k~

“Alright, ____: truth or dare?”

There’s a predatory glint to Kuroo’s smile that you don’t quite trust—not that you really trust any of his smiles mind you, you’ve been friends far too long for that level of foolishness—but there’s something especially sinister about the way he’s eyeing you at the moment. This is why you pick the safest option allowed to you, ‘Truth’ (which, again, isn’t all that safe, but there’s no way in hell you’re going near any dares that this scheming asshole’s cooked up). Of course fucking off into the sunset is an option too, but honestly you’re afraid of what’ll happen to poor Kenma’s house if you leave an entire VBCs’ worth of teenaged boys alone without some semblance of supervision.

With your group being mostly comprised of second and third years, his parents had deemed you all old enough to be left alone for the day. A grave mistake on their part, truly.

Aside from yourself there isn’t a manager—senior, assistant, or otherwise—to be found, meaning the level of brain cells present in the room’s disproportionally low. The others not being here is unsurprising if unwanted; they were all smart enough to stay away which is why Kenma insisted that you had to come. “Risk prevention” he had fairly called it, and you being the magnanimous friend and overly giving soul that you are had agreed. That it meant that you would get to spend a whole afternoon with your best friend turned unwitting crush was just a questionable bonus.

Questionable because being around Kenma Kozume has become a precarious balancing act that you’re not sure you can keep up with anymore, not when you like him this much. So far you’ve been doing a decent job of it, but you’re sure that’s it’s only a matter of time before something gives you away–

Something like the fucking chemistry rooster’s overly invasive question.

Thankfully the object of your affection had recused himself from the game the very moment it was proposed, and has been tucked away in the corner with his 3DS ever since. The sounds emanating from the device paint his current obsession as the newest Fire Emblem game, and the furrow of his brow and rapid movements of his hands tells you that his attention does not extend itself beyond the world locked behind that tiny glass screen—thank the fucking gods.

Unfortunately for you, the overly tall boy besides you isn’t likewise preoccupied.

“What?” you say, voice deadpan as you give him the most unimpressed look you can muster.

“I said, do you want to kiss anyone in this room?”

Motherfucker. This asshole’s really doubling down, huh? Aloud, “The hell type of question is that, Kuroo?”

He cocks a brow at you, his feline eyes as sharp as ever. “The kind that you’re avoiding, clearly.” His lips slowly pull off into a shit-eating grin as he takes in your fidgeting hands and bouncing leg. “Not that it matters, really. You’re flustered as hell, so I’m gonna take that as a yes.”

Your reply comes in the form of twin middle fingers raised and thrust forward at the snickering group as a whole. Thankfully Yamamoto’s overly eager to get to his turn; he begs you very loudly for a dare, all too ready to do something stupid and you’re all too willing to oblige.

The game carries on without further incident after that—well ones involving your love life, anyway. At least two of the guys are gonna have stomachaches and poor Lev’s leg ends up getting pretty badly strained when he tries to get it behind his head, but that’s all par the course. Still, if you were smart you would’ve abandoned ship right after you’d gotten Tora to gag down that spoonful of cinnamon, cutting your losses and telling Kenma to keep hope alive, but with all of the ensuing idiocy it was easy to forget that the universe’s favorite conduit for antagonistic energy has you in his sights.

Kuroo grins his plot-y little grin as he watches you struggle to choose an option for the second time in an hour. You’re sure that if you pick truth again he’ll press for details on whom it is that you want to kiss despite knowing damn well that you have a thing for your mutual friend. In fact most everyone here knows about your crush except for said crush, and though having your innermost desires known to so many is its own special brand of torture, nobody has ever seemed intent on holding it over your head until now. You have no idea what Kuroo’s damage is, but at this rate you’re seriously rethinking the whole of your friendship.

It’s right around the time that Kuroo starts to wheedle you for an answer that Kenma decides to make his presence known. The flat “Stop” that he gives can just barely be heard over the ruckus around you, but when someone as quiet at the setter usually is speaks people tend to listen. The whole of your group look to where he now stands just behind the space between you and Kuroo with expressions ranging from confused to impish to annoyingly amused; unsurprisingly Kuroo is among the latter.

“I’m just trying to keep the game going,” he says with an easy smile as he tilts his head back to regard his friend. His lips curl up into a smirk as he takes in the slight frown that pulls at the other boy’s.

“No, you’re being annoyingly meddlesome and pushy—as usual.” To you, “You brought your DS? Good. We’re gonna have to grind a bit more if we wanna be ready for the next Grudge Match.”

It’s an extremely bold move coming from a guy who absolutely hates to stand out in any capacity.

As if he comes back to himself all at once, Kenma blinks owlishly a few times before pushing out a hard breath through his nose. The action seems to deflate him, leaving his shoulders drooping as he turns on his heel and heads for the stairs without another word.

Lev’s “Damn” comes just as Yaku asks “What the hell was that?”

“I dunno,” Yamamoto admits, “but it was kinda baller, not gonna lie.”

As more speculations sound you ignore them all in favor of making a quick exit, pointedly pretending that the snickers and wolf-whistles that trail behind you as you too make your way to your host’s bedroom aren’t happening.

You’re barely spared so much as a glance as you close the door behind yourself, with the pudding-haired boy being as silent as ever as he moves through his space. His room is in its usual state of disarray, with clothes, various manga, empty cans, and a few wrappers strewn about; you obviously cannot call the place clean, but it isn’t dirty as much as it is cluttered (though at some point he’s gonna have to learn how to make proper use of a waste basket).

The only thing that is truly in order is his gaming collection, unsurprisingly. The pristine cases are all lined along their designated shelves with care and a level of organization that one would not expect given the overall state of the room. Kenma has tried to explain the intricacies of his system to you on several occasions, but once he started getting into subgenres within subgenres you lost track, much to his quiet amusement.

At current he ignores all of this in favor of plopping down on his mostly made bed. Grabbing up his Circle Pad as well as his copy of Monster Hunter Tri, he swaps out cards before settling in. He sits so that his back is braced against the wall, the ever present slouch allowing his legs to dangle over the mattress’s side, and you move to sit beside him—though with the echoes of laughter and unwanted questions still sounding in your head you make sure to keep your distance.

Even with such scenes being more than common between you something feels… off, though for the life of you, you cannot figure out why that is.

At first you think it’s your own doing—you’re still a bit shaken by that stupid game, and you wouldn’t be surprised to find that your nerves are getting the better of you—but while that probably isn’t helping matters you’re not the only one putting out some weirdly strained vibes. All it takes is one look at Kenma’s overly hard button mashes and the near vicious way he chews at his bottom lip to know that something’s bothering him, but your asking after him nets you little more than a shrug.

It’s an expected response, but somewhat disheartening nonetheless.

The pair of you are close, closer than him and Kuroo even, if only because you’d known him longer by a year. You’re used to him keeping you at arm’s length when it comes to so many things, but you’d thought that you’d gotten to the point where he’d at least acknowledge that there is indeed something wrong.

Your troubled pout pulls a sigh from the boy as he pauses his game, and you find yourself doing the same. He stares off into the middle-distance as he tries to gather his thoughts, his thumbs tapping out a random beat against the handheld’s plastic casing.

“Kuroo’s a friend, but… he can be a lot,” he finally says. “He shouldn’t have put you on the spot like that, that wasn’t cool, but still. I think I may have overacted.”

He drags his fingers through the length of his hair with an agitated little huff of breath before allowing his head to thump back against the wall. “To be honest, I didn’t expect you to come up here after all of that. It was kind of a lot, and I… I kinda feel like I need apologize to you, so—sorry. That was probably embarrassing as hell for you.”

“Oh, uh, yeah, thanks, but you don’t need to apologize,” you assure him. “You were just looking out for me, I can’t be mad at that.”

The smile you give him is regarded with critical eyes that fall away before you can get your own read on him. He lets out a thoughtful hum as he switches the game back on. “Well I guess I should be saying you’re welcome instead.”

You snort at that. “Yeah, thanks—I guess.” Though your tone is somewhat sarcastic, there’s an undercurrent of fondness that you just can’t seem to shake when you talk to him, though apparently your friend doesn’t read it as such. You don’t expect a response of any sort, so it surprises you when Kenma turns his head fully towards you before looking away.

“You don’t have to pretend to be okay with this, ____. My intentions were good, but”—another sigh—“I don’t get to assume things just because we’re friends. I figured with how flustered you were getting you’d want to get out of there, but being flustered isn’t always a bad thing, not if… Not if you like the person who’s making you that way, anyway.”

The implications behind the statement leave you choking on a spurt of confused laughter. You like Kuroo, sure—despite how much of a teasing jackass he can be, you actually count him among your closest friends—but your affections don’t run any deeper than that. When you tell Kenma as much he blinks hard a few times before turning confused eyes on you. Those soft, golden irises are shadowed by some emotion that you cannot name as he mutters out a soft “What?”

“I don’t like Kuroo like that,” you repeat, your voice measured and words slowed in an obvious attempt to make sure that you’re well understood. “Hell, I can barely even tolerate his ass like a good seventy-five percent of the time—and I don’t mean that in a tsundere type way, I mean it in a ‘If we weren’t friends I would’ve legit kick his teeth into the back of his throat years ago’ type way.”

“…Then why?”

Now it’s your turn to sigh. “‘Why’ what, Kenma?”

“Why do you get so antsy around him? Why is he able to fluster you so easily? If you don’t like him like him, why does he make you so nervous?”

His questions leave you frozen. How are you supposed to answer any of them without giving away your secret? You suppose you should be grateful that he hasn’t picked up on your true feelings yet, but at the same time his thinking that you’re crushing on your mutual friend doesn’t sit well with you. You have no idea how to go about any of this, but the silence that comes with your indecision is apparently answer enough for the setter.

Kenma turns his attention back to the game without so much as a glance in your direction as he says, “If you don’t want to admit it, that’s fine ____.”

“Ke–”

“You don’t have to stay up here, either,” he continues on, cutting you off as if you had not spoken. “In fact it’s probably better if you don’t. Wouldn’t want Kuroo and the rest to get the wrong idea.”

His voice is vacant in a way that you’ve never heard before and it makes your chest ache even as it leaves your heart fluttering with something akin to hope.

In all the years that you’ve known him, Kenma has never been one for overt showings of emotions. Sure he gets happy, sad, mad, and everything else—he’s just as human as any of you, after all—but it’s always a subtle thing. Most found attempting to pursue and maintain a friendship with such a person to be too bothersome, and maybe it is, but you’ve always had a soft spot for life’s outcasts. That’s what had made you approach the boy back in primary school, recently obtained Game Boy Advance and connector cable in tow, a copy of Pokémon Sapphire primed and at the ready.

He had been even quieter back then, only speaking when he deemed it to be an absolute necessity, which wasn’t very often. His reticence forced you to learn how to read his moods fairly early on, and in the time since your skills have only sharpened. But just as you’ve leveled up your observation stat he’s apparently been working on his cloaking—how else would he have been able to hide his feeling away from you, when you can read him so well?

Though you’re shaking slightly, your touch is sure when you finally rest your palm against his hand. Kenma continues to peck away at his 3DS, but he does briefly flick his eyes over at where your fingers curl around him in between taking out a wave of low level monsters. This brief divergence of attention is as much of sign that he’s listening as you’re going to get, and so you steel yourself with a deep breath before finally speaking your truth.

“I– Okay, so… The reason Kuroo’s able to get under my skin so easily isn’t because of him, not really—it’s about what he knows.” Another eye flick then, this time his topaz gaze roves over the whole of your face before quickly falling away, and the action leaves you smiling just a bit.

“As you very well know, he’s annoyingly observant, but then again so are you, which is why I cannot figure out how it is that he knows but you don’t.”

That finally draws the whole of his focus to you. His eyes narrow slightly in confusion as his mouth parts around a soundless question. Not that he really needs to speak, you know what it is that he’s asking and so you give him his answer.

“It’s you, Kenma. It’s always been you. I’ve liked you for nearly as long as I’ve known you, but I never said anything because I didn’t want to make it weird, yanno? Like we’re best friends, and I wouldn’t want to risk losing that over a crush—no matter how massive it’s gotten—but now it feels like I’m going to lose you anyway because you’re pulling away because you think I like fucking Tetsuro Kuroo of all fucking people, and dammit if this ship’s just gonna sink I might as well put it all out there.”

You take another deep breath once your deluge comes to its end. Your heart’s beating way too fast and you’re pretty sure that your hand has sweated all over his, but despite all of this you feel lighter for having told him.

“Oh.”

You can’t help the huff of laughter that pushes its way out of your mouth. You lay the whole of your heart and emotions bare to this cat of a boy and all he has to say is “Oh.” It would be insulting if it wasn’t so him.

The room goes quiet for a beat, and then two, and just as you’re about to apologize for making things weird he finally decides to say something more substantial.

“So you’ve been feeling this way for a while then?” He mirrors your nod, though his holds an air of absence as he continues to puzzle his way through it all. “I guess I wasn’t really paying attention to stuff like that when we were younger, and then Kuroo moved in next door and was just kind of always there after that, so by the time I did start paying attention– Well your liking him made more sense, honestly. He’s smart, funny, and even charming when he wants to be; he’s also taller, in better shape, and is better looking. A shining rockerboy to my nerdy, moody techie*.”

You shake your head hard at that. “Don’t do that—you know how much I hate when you get down on yourself like that. Kuroo’s great, sure, but you are too, Kenma.”

There’s so much more you want to say—like how his small smiles always set your heart to doing somersaults, and that his laugh is your own personal cure for any and all forms of melancholy, and if he keeps letting his hair grow out you may just keel over from how damn good he looks—but you keep your thoughts behind your teeth for now. There’s only so much affection that the boy’s willing to endure in one sitting, and you’ve already crossed the line twice over with your little confession.

Speaking of said confession—“You still haven’t told me how you feel about all of this… about… us.”

The hand that has still yet to remove itself from your grip shifts about until its palm is cradled against yours. Kenma laces his fingers between yours, marveling at the fit for a moment, before stroking your thumb with the side of his own. His hands are rough and smooth by measures, with his sport of dubious choice leaving callouses in odd places to add an extra layer of sensation that you hadn’t been expecting, but aren’t at all opposed to.

For his part, the setter continues to play with your fingers as he speaks. “I feel relieved, honestly. Not knowing how you felt was terrible, and thinking that you liked someone else was even worse, but I was willing to live with it all if it meant keeping you in my life.”

He turns his eyes to you then, the beginnings of a full-blown smile pulling at his lips. “I don’t know much about these types of things, but I think—no, know—that it’s always been you too, ____.”

“Yeah?”

Kenma nods a bit as he leans over to press a kiss to your overly warm cheek, followed by one to the corner of your mouth, before finally brushing hesitant lips over your own. “Yeah.”

A/n: It’s my personal HC that while Kenma generally doesn’t have the patience for most TTRPGs, Cyberpunk is the one exception. He’s always found the mechanics of those types of games fascinating ((headcanon-ception: he used to want to be a game designer before he realized how much work when into it lol)), and the concept of Netrunning was especially intriguing. The more he looked into it, the more interested he got and it wasn’t long before he was dragging you out to the local hon’ya for a session lol. This didn’t last too long as he found that he enjoyed making characters and mentally writing what basically amounted to fan fiction about them to actually playing the game properly, but yeah. You guys still had your fun with the game and as such it definitely holds a special place in his heart to this day…

🍃 Volleyball Kiss

Desperate Times, Desperate Measures (Worth It) || WC: 1.3k

“How long have you been playing volleyball? Who taught you?

“How long have you been a setter?

“How do you train? Do you get along with your teammates?

“Have you ever hit a wall?”

Suddenly Hinata’s words make perfect sense, not that Kenma didn’t believe him before. But this Kageyama is more than ‘intense’, he’s fucking insane, and the second year cannot wait to get away from him and his incessant questions. He all but flees to the safety of the storage closet, using his size to his advantage and weaving in between people as he goes in hopes of shaking his pursuer. He nearly trips over the net that he still has cradled against his middle a couple of times, but other than that he makes it to his destination without further incident, thank the gods. Ignoring whatever it is Yamamoto and Karasuno’s outside hitter has going on, he shoves the bundle of nylon in the general area of the rest of the nets before slowly making his way back to the cluttered room’s entrance and peeking out.

In this ever shifting sea of red and black, his fellow setter is just one more body in the crowd. Kenma hopes that his relatively short stature will once again allow for him to get swallowed up as well, but–

“Hey! Number Five! Why’d you run? I just want to–”

“N-no, I don’t have time to talk, I have to, um, go.”

The ravenette’s brow furrows at that. “Go where? Neither of our teams is ready to leave yet.”

Where? Literally anywhere that isn’t here.

Whether or not he actually says this or just thinks it really loudly, Kenma has no clue, nor does he care. Even if he hadn’t just got done with a rather intense match he’s sure that he would find Kageyama’s energy to be draining—like a negative buff, slowly eating away at what little HP he’s been able to hold on to. He needs to get away from this machine of a boy and everyone else in this damned gym and recharge. Ideally he’d be doing so in the privacy of his own room, tucked well away from the bustle of the outside world, headset firmly affixed to his head and a controller vibrating against his palms. But home the place is a long bus ride away—home the person, however…

It says a lot about the state of your relationship that you barely even blink when Kenma knocks into your back without so much as a hello and buries his face between your shoulder blades. You carry on conversing with Karasuno’s manager—Shimizu, he’s pretty sure that’s what the Yamamoto Mimikyu called her—though you do acknowledge him with a few pats to the hands that have secured themselves around your middle. If the other manager finds his behavior odd she’s kind enough to keep it to herself, though the conversation does end soon after. He hadn’t been paying attention so he isn’t sure if this is because of his sudden arrival or if the exchange had come to its end naturally, but either way he’s glad. Selfish though he knows it is, the setter isn’t in the mood to share anything right now—be that wisdom that he most assuredly does not have or your attention.

“Who are you hiding from this time, hmm?” you ask, tone amused as you turn in his grasp.

His reply comes in the form of a grunt that can just be heard from where he’s now tucked his head away in the space between your shoulder and your neck. Gentle fingers massage at his nape completely uncaring of the sticky texture left behind from half dried sweat mixing with the hair moisturizer that you insisted he started using once he made the mistake of bleaching his hair. The added step to his routine is an annoyance, but better to be annoyed than be bald, he thinks. Most days, at least. Sometimes he just wants to say ‘fuck it all’, go back to his 3-in-1, and let whatever happens happen, but you really seem to like his hair, and he likes the way your fingers feel when they thread themselves through his locks, so… Yeah. So long as you’re willing to keep doling out head scratches he supposes he can keep up with the regimen.

“It wouldn’t happen to be Karasuno’s setter, would it?” Another grunt from him, and another wave of amusement from you. “Hm, thought so. He’s staring at you, hard. It’s uhh, kinda intimidating, won’t lie. I can see why you’re trying to avoid him—dude totally looks like he’s gonna run your pockets for your lunch money or something.”

He snorts at that. “I wish it was something like that, then I could just sic you or Kuroo on him.” He can practically hear your replying eye roll.

“I love it when you treat me like an attack dog.”

“And I love having scary partner privileges.”

“Whatever, jerk.” Your words hold no real sting, naturally, though you do give his hair a playful little tug that leaves him gasping. You take in his glare with a smirk that fades into a confused moue as you look over his shoulder at his stalker. “What does he want with you anyway?”

“Setting cheat codes? My life story? The secrets of the universe? I don’t know, and I don’t care. I just want him to go away. Can you make him, please?”

You take in his extremely apparent distress with a pout before pulling him in close once again. A thoughtful hum echoes through your chest as you mull things over for a moment. “Well I do have one idea, but I’m not sure you’re gonna like it.”

“Don’t care. He’s persistent and I’m desperate.”

“Desperate enough for some blatant PDA?”

He pulls himself away from his cubby long enough to look from you to his accoster, who’s clearly contemplating approaching, and back again before giving an emphatic nod. You look him over one last time, just to be sure, before bringing your hands up to cradle his face and placing a soft, sweet kiss on his lips. Though he’d obviously known what was coming, the setter still squeaks in shock, though he doesn’t jerk away. You linger for a long moment—just long enough to make any onlookers feel uncomfortable and Kenma himself melt.

Somebody yells something, but he cannot make out the voice over the rush of blood through his ears. Whatever was said earns a laugh from the room as a whole as well as a fair bit of yelling. When he finally clues back in he realizes that Kageyama is the one causing the racket; the boy’s screaming something about not being a voyeur, while his captain and their ace try to keep him from attacking their overly tall middle blocker. The bizarre sight makes it more than clear that your plan worked, and when he finally looks up at you, Kenma finds that you’re smiling that sly little smile of yours.

“So, that happened,” you start with a laugh. “Jeeze, that kid’s feral—look at him go…”

For his part Kenma just huffs before dropping his face back into the crook of your neck in an attempt to hide the blush that has no doubt spread across the whole of his face. You coo at him, giving him a little squeeze as you ask him if it was worth it.

Despite the fact that the pair of you are going to get no small amount of grief for your little stunt—Kuroo and Lev especially are going to have a field day with this—and the disturbing amount of warmth he can feel radiating from his cheeks he finds himself nodding.

“Yeah.”

A/n: Meanwhile Ukai and Takeda are absolutely hating this look for their team lmao. The former is yelling something along the lines of “Cut that out, you damn knuckleheads! Stop showcasing our crazy!!” and the latter is bowing in apology 40 going north all the while thinking, Ffs, I cannot take any of them anywhere lol…

🍃 One Hundredth Kiss

Sooner Could’ve Come Later, Honestly || WC: 900~

“Are you sure that you want to do this?” Kenma asks you for what feels like the tenth time in less than half as many minutes. “Because if you’re having second thoughts…”

“I’m fine,” you assure him, “but if you’re having second thoughts…”

He sighs, long and loud, as he fiddles with the headset in his hands. He adjusts a few things before slipping the device onto your head with surprisingly gentle hands. He has you say a few words into the attached mic, looking at something on one of the screens in his bank of monitors to make sure the levels are where they need to be, nodding when one of his crew gives him the thumbs-up.

“No, Kuroo’s right. They’re gonna figure out who you are sooner or later, so we might as well do things on our own terms,” comes his very delayed response, his flat voice giving away nothing as usual. Even so you know him far too well to believe in his supposed aplomb; he’s definitely rethinking things, but unfortunately there’s little else for it.

And so you nod and smile as you tell him, “Right. Well then I guess it’s settled. Let’s do this.”

“Mm.”

Though you’re both putting on a brave face, neither of you can deny that the thought of introducing you to the 8.2 million people that make up Kenma’s—or Applepi’s, as the lot of them know him—fan base is terrifying. Given how private he is, there’s a good chance that you could’ve flown under the radar for a little while longer, possibly even indefinitely, but all it took was a few fans that existed in The Oven (you’ll never be over that fandom name, honestly)-volleyball cross-section to put an end to that.

It seems to hold true that no good deed goes unpunished, because had the pair of you not gone to support your friends at that damned game no one would have even know that you existed. With it being the fucking Olympics, you had thought that nobody would really notice or care about you kicking around together, but lo and behold not even a full forty-eight hours later and a grip of pictures have surfaced to leave the forum’s gossip mills running amok with theories.

(Your personal favorites are the ones that claim that you cannot possibly be his significant other because your perceived gender does not match up with what they know to be his sexuality and preferences. The internet is a lovely place, truly.)

In the time since all of his socials have been overrun with questions about exactly who you are to him—despite the fact that they way he’d been smiling at you in several of the pictures made it extremely obvious, in your opinion—and while the pair of you would’ve loved to ignore it all, you knew it was only a matter of time before someone identified you. And so you and Kenma had set down with his manager and PR team to figure out the best way to go about things.

Given his laid back nature, it was decided that the announcement shouldn’t be overly grand, but at the same time it couldn’t be too understated either, thus the livestream you’re just moments away from starting. It is to be a Q-and-A type deal, with the pair of you answering questions about yourselves, your relationship, and anything else they care to ask while duking it out in Jackbox games with those lucky viewers who’re able to land a spot in your lobby.

While you continue to hype yourself up, Mori—Kenma’s right hand and favored moderator—sits at her station waiting for the go ahead to go live, and you find yourself overly grateful for her presence. She’s made a reputation for herself as being a benevolent mod so long as you respect the host, his guests, and the community guidelines. She’s got free rein to use the ban button at her shrewd discretion, and has no compunctions about exercising that right, so you know that the minute people start to get out of pocket she’ll shut shit down. The rest of her small team is of the same mind, so at least you won’t have to worry about dealing with too much hate, if you receive any at all (not that you’re expecting things to go that smoothly, this is still the internet you’re dealing with, after all).

“Last call,” the woman tells you, her cursor hovering over that deceptively simple little button.

Your man looks at you with an arched brow, taking in your twitchy smile with appraising eyes. You know there’s no point in trying to hide how nervous you are, so instead you try to project your determination to push through it. However things go down, you know it’s not going to be the end of things, of you, and that’s what really matters once all is said and done.

Your resolve must shine through because after just a few moments Kenma nods a bit before putting on his own headset. He gets ready to adjust the attached mic before thinking better of it and pushing the thing up towards his forehead. Before you can question him yours is getting the same treatment and then he’s kissing you. It’s a chaste thing, little more than a brushing of his lips against yours, really, but the small bit of contact is heartening nonetheless. Ignoring the coos that the brief display of affection garners, you both set your mics back to rights before straightening in your seats.

“Ready?” Mori prompts again, encouraging smile firmly in place.

Your hands find one another as you both nod. “Yeah.”

A/n: Things go well for the most part. Naturally there are a few rude people in the batch, but between Mori’s ban hammer and Kenma’s sassy savagery folk figure out that it’s best to keep that type of shit to themselves fairly quickly. By the end of it the fanbase kinda falls in love with you, ngl (they love how soft you are for each other, and how their lil pudding head smiles and laughs more with you there), and they beg Kenma to have you back on more often. He starts at a hard ‘NO’, but eventually gets worn down to a ‘Maybe once a month if they want to do it, and you guys are good’ lol… ((but ofc if you want to be on more often he’s okay with that, honestly—your comfort is all that he’s really concerned with)) Also his fans call themselves Pie Slices, sorry I don’t make the rules except yes I do lmao.

🍃 Forever Kiss

You’re the One (Yeah, Yeah) || WC: 500~

“Come on, be a turtle—please, please, please be a turtle! If I get one more fucking bass I’m gonna scream, I swear…”

Kenma can’t help but to laugh at you fevered mutterings. You’ve been trying to catch a snapping turtle since April of last year, with your attempts only growing more and more desperate with each passing week. And now with the window for capturing the creature all but closed, well…

If he had to wait yet another year to complete his collection he’d be a bit frantic too.

When the little ‘Wah-hoo!’ and victory music combo sounds a second later he doesn’t even have to ask if you’ve gotten your prize. The whoop you let out is just this side of a true yell, and the little wiggle dance that accompanies it is almost too cute for his heart to handle. You’re all smiles as bop your way over to him to you shove your Switch in his face.

“Babe! Lookit! I finally got ‘em!!”

“Good for you,” he says, smile indulgent as he looks over your avatar’s beaming face and the reptile it proudly brandishes. “It only took you what? Like a year and a half to get it.”

The playful jab leaves you rolling your eyes as you flop down next to him. “Whatever. Not everybody gets paid to play video games, ya know. Some of us have to work and sleep and at least attempt to function like actual adults.”

“Mm, true. Couldn’t be me though.”

“Clearly, Mister C-E-friggin’-O…”

The banter is as familiar as anything in your relationship, the quips repeated refrains that leave something warm settling in his chest just as readily as you tuck yourself into his side. As he watches you proudly march your catch to Fūta, listening to the owl prattle off his ‘facts’ about the beast with a content if sleepy little smile on your face, that same warmth blossoms and spreads until the whole of him is consumed by it.

They’re the one.

The thought isn’t any great revelation—like he’d told you in his childhood room all those years ago, it’s always been you—but moments like these are just further confirmation of what he already knows.

“I love you,” he tells you, his arm pulling you in deeper to his embrace, “you know that right?”

You shoot him a quick smile before dropping your eyes back to the screen. “Mm, yeah, of course, baby. And I love you too. A lot. Like a lot a lot.”

“Yeah?”

That’s enough to garner the whole of your attention. You sit up just enough to cuddle your lips against the curve of his cheek in the sweetest approximation of a kiss. More of the little ministrations are peppered over the breadth of his face until finally, finally your mouth is hovering over his. This close he can feel the curl of your smile, the moist pant of your breath, and the formation of the word that precedes the kiss he so desperately craves–

“Yeah…”

A/n: So I’ve never actually played an Animal Crossing game as all of the Nintendo consoles I’ve owned were old handhelds (never made it past the Advance). Everything here was based off of wiki articles and YT vids, so if anything was off blame that lol…

Taglist (open to 18+ users): @screamin-abt-haikyuu | @scarlettriot

© notepadsandtealeaves, 2021 || Please do not repost, translate, or otherwise alter or distribute my works without my express permission. And for the love of god keep it away from Youtube and TikTok lol…

#i had a lot of fun with this #kemmy is baby--i will legit maim for him lol #anyways...#((Immy does fan fiction: The Volleybaes))#kenma x reader #kenma x gn!reader #kenma x gender neutral reader #kenma x you #kenma x y/n #kenma scenario #kenma imagine #kenma fluff #kenma fanfic #haikyuu kenma

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true-blue-megamind · 3 years

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FAN THEORY SUPPOSITION SUNDAY: The Warden

SPOILER WARNING! It’s still a thing, and, if you haven’t yet, you still need to watch Megamind. (If you have seen it already, however, you need to see it again. Because it’s awesome.)

Yes, yes, the post is three days late this time. Real life has to take priority and such. So sue me. (Don’t really do that. LOL!)

For that same reason—or more accurately because this week has exhausted me—I will attempt to make this post shorter than usual. We’ll see how that goes. My money is on “not well.” LOL.

Anyway, today we’re going to look at a subject that often divides the Megamind fandom: the Warden and his relationship with Megamind. There are several fan theories—I mean, suppositions—surrounding this, but I’m going to be focusing on a few of the main ones.

The first of these is that the Warden was actually a father figure to Megamind when he was young, allowing him to be raised in jail not out of cruelty or disinterest, but because it was the only way to keep him safe from shadowy government agencies that otherwise would have performed all sorts of experiments on the blue alien. This both accounts for why a child would be allowed to grow up in what is clearly a high-security prison for dangerous adult criminals—something that, admittedly, needs some sort of explanation—and fits with widely accepted sci-fi and comic book tropes. (From Area 51 to mysterious “Men in Black” type organizations, fiction is full of government agencies created to study extraterrestrial life and technology.) Some even go so far as to suggest that the Warden may have tried to adopt Megamind officially, but was blocked from doing so by these same entities. On top of this, such an idea also offers room to re-imagine the Warden as a much more interesting, complex, and sympathetic character. Indeed, there has been some excellent fan fiction written about this pseudo-parental relationship.

Art: Fathers And Sons Day by tabbydragon

There is some evidence to support this. The first is that, although the Warden behaves harshly toward Megamind in the “jail-break” scene near the beginning of the film, Megamind himself seems to be trying to engage in a playful exchange: pranking the older man, wishing him a good morning, and even teasing him. While some say that this is simply Megamind’s personality as well as his determination to always appear indominable, others suggest that, perhaps, the blue man is trying to recapture a lost amiability between himself and the prison Warden. It is possible that, when he was younger and less villainous, Megamind might have exchanged friendly jokes and greetings with the man in charge of the jail he called home. It has even been suggested that the Warden is so hard on the blue man at the beginning of the film not because he hates Megamind, but because Megamind’s life choices have hurt and alienated his father figure. This idea finds some support in the facts that, when Megamind leaves jail to confront Titan, the Warden wished him good luck, and at the end of the movie, that same man seems genuinely happy as he watches the television broadcast of his one-time prisoner being named Defender of Metro City. Finally, there is some evidence from the comics which, although not truly considered canon, as I’ve mentioned before, do offer some material for fan theories. In the “episode” entitled Bad Minion! Bad! Megamind runs into the Warden in a bar, and the latter offers the former advice. There is certainly a somewhat fatherly feel to the scene.

The second theory is exactly the opposite: that the Warden either did not care for or outright disliked the former supervillain. Unfortunately, as fun as the Warden/Father Figure concept is, this second, darker idea has far stronger evidence to support it in the film itself. (Try not to hate me, everyone.) These clues range from the obvious to the subtle, but there are quite a few of them to be found.

During the first scene in which we see Warden interact with Megamind, he doesn’t behave like an angry, disappointed father—at least not a good one. He isn’t merely surly toward Megamind; he is absolutely nasty. The Warden verbally condemns the alien, telling him that he’ll “always be a villain,” and essentially steals what he believes is a gift for the blue man, even taunting him by saying: “I think I’ll keep it!” This hardly seems like the actions of someone who once felt any sort of affection for the extraterrestrial. That same portion of the movie holds another clue as well: the screens monitoring Megamind’s brain activity. Indeed, in original concept art for the film, the system appears both more invasive and more nightmarish. It seems that, far from protecting Megamind, the Warden may have actually allowed him to be experimented upon.

Next, there is the newspaper article at the beginning of the title sequence, which bears the headline “Hometown Boy Makes Bad.” It’s hard to see what the paper says, of course, even if you bother to really notice it, but luckily for us Liz (Demishock) wrote a wonderfully thorough blog post which, among other things, provides a transcript of the “news story.” In it, the Warden is quoted as referring to young Megamind as a born villain as well as abnormal.

You don't know this kid. I've watched the little criminal since he was in diapers. This kid is just a bad seed. I've got experienced, hardened criminals in here who are afraid of him - I mean, have you seen the size of his head?… It's not like he's a normal kid… I mean, have you gotten a good look at his gigantic blue head? I don't know where you come from, but where I come it's just not right.

Granted, there seems to be some truth to what the Warden is saying, as the article also mentions that Megamind, who can hardly have been more than seven years old at the time, has basically been put into solitary confinement for the safety of other prisoners following an unnamed incident, adding that the other inmates “refused to point fingers for fear of retaliation.” (This fits with the fan theory that young Megamind would have had to both fight and develop a fearsome reputation in order to protect himself. You can read more about that in the post How Strong is Megamind?) However, the Warden seems to dwell a lot on the fact that Megamind looks alien, and he displays an obvious dislike for the young boy.

Finally, there is evidence hidden in the school scene, although it’s easy to miss. In an amazing two-part video series, Megamind: A City of Deception. YouTuber The Theorizer illustrates several hidden clues about Megamind’s early life and how it it led him to embrace villainy. (I will very likely write another post going into more detail about that at a later date.) One thing that The Theorizer discovered is a seemingly innocuous detail in the background during the popcorn scene. Take a moment to examine the images below. Look closely at the blackboard and you’ll see a paper cut out of a school bus. Look even more closely at that and you’ll find something odd: the bus is full of crayon-drawn children except for one figure: an adult male, riding in the back of the bus, who looks suspiciously like the Warden as he appears at the beginning of the film.

In a movie where so much attention is given to small things—I mean, seriously, the animation team actually went through the trouble to write a news story for a paper that was on the screen less than ten seconds—this cannot possibly be a coincidence. (You can learn more about the artists’ amazing dedication to detail in my post What’s Hidden in the Animation?) Although it is vaguely possible that Megamind, painfully aware of how much his appearance was despised, chose to draw the Warden’s face instead of his own, most fans believe there is a darker reason for this oddity.

Think about it: the Li’l Gifted School for Li’l Gifted Kids is built close by a jail with a strangely similar name: Metro City Prison for the Criminally Gifted. It’s clearly a small academy, yet the only two known aliens in the city—who, by the way, have extremely different social backgrounds—both just happen to attend there. And now the prison warden appears to be somehow involved with the elementary school? It’s bizarre. Add to this the fact that the young alien adopted by a privileged family—a boy who possessed super-strength and laser vision—seemed inclined to be a bully, (as is made obvious by the kickball scene,) and a disturbing fan theory emerges. Adults realized that Wayne Smith, the child who would eventually become Metro Man, might prove dangerous if left unchecked, and came up with a plan to turn him into a hero instead. Wayne was showered with praise, conditioning him to seek public approval, but a superhero needs a nemesis. The strange-looking, unwanted blue boy who’d already been labeled a criminal would have seemed like the obvious choice. If this is true, then Megamind was purposefully, albeit covertly, groomed to become a supervillain from a young age, and the Warden played a major role in doing that.

So there you have it. Two competing fan theories concerning the Warden’s connection with Megamind. Both have some evidence supporting them, and there are fans who are firmly dedicated to one or the other. Which is true? Did the Warden care for Megamind like a son but distance himself when the boy turned to villainy? Or did he judge and despise Megamind but come around to liking him when he finally realized what sort of person the blue man was deep down? The fact is that those questions can be argued for hours on end. No matter which of these suppositions you prefer, however, the mere fact that even a minor supporting character is complex enough to offer room for this debate speaks to the impressive amount of work and devotion that went into creating this amazing animated film.

#Megamind #Megamind movie #Megamind fan theory #fan theory #fan theories #fanon #Warden #the Warden #connection #relationship #relationships

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imagine-it-to-be-true · 3 years

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Fix You - Caius Volturi x FemOC Three Shot: Part 2

Hey guys! So, originally, this story was supposed to be a One-shot. But because of the overwhelming amount of requests I’ve received (thank you so much sweeties, by the way), I’ve decided to make it into a three parter. This is part 2, and the first part can be found on my blog. I’m not sure when I get around to writing part 3 as uni starts back up today, but I’ll try my best not to keep you in suspense for too long. This part is more centred around chaos than romance. Nothing belongs to me (including the GIF) Also, warnings: violence, blood, death.

Andromeda’s POV

The sensations were weird. First, I had been in a lot of pain around my stomach region. I could hardly breathe, let alone express my pain to the handsome-yet-creepy, blonde stranger taking care of me. Though I’m sure he knew. I mean, even I knew I was dying, and he was helpless to save me, so I didn’t bother speaking. I could see the concern in his eyes and hear his sweet whisperings as he stroked my cheeks and wiped away my tears. But these little comforts were not enough to stop the hurt. Then, when I saw him holding a huge syringe, it sent me into panic mode. I never liked needles, not to mention ones which were about to inject unfamiliar liquids into me. But he reassured me it would help, which calmed me down. Not like I could defend myself in that moment anyways. I guess it couldn’t hurt me more. It turned out he was right. After a few minutes, I noticed the pain slowly going away. Maybe it wasn’t the liquid, but the fast-approaching release of death, I wasn’t sure. My cries began to slow, and I could feel more pleasant sensations, such as the pale man stroking my hand with his thumb, gently massaging circles into it. Then, he asked,

“What is your name, omorfiá mou?”

Gasping for air, I attempted to speak,

“Andromeda,” came my whispered reply. With my half-opened eyes, I was able to see his perfect lips draw up in a smile. Focusing on his features, I didn’t even realize that my pain was entirely gone, and I was feeling rather loopy. I watched the man bend down closer to me, brushing my hair back and running his ice-cold knuckles down the side of my neck. Suddenly I felt a sense of vulnerability. I felt his cool breath hitting my ear as he whispered,

“Do not be afraid. You will live forever. You are mine now, and I will never let anything hurt you again.” I was confused and fear began to resurface. I had gotten away from one creep, only to be taken by another. This man scared me to my core. But before I could dwell on my thoughts, I saw him quickly lean down towards my neck, as if he was about to kiss me. That was not what happened.

Indeed, I momentarily felt his cool lips touch the sensitive skin of my neck. But then a sharp pain erupted. Whatever it was that he injected into me was definitely helping. I was aching again, though differently this time. It was a dull, electrifying, fiery sensation, which immediately spread from my neck to my brain, and all the way down to the tips of my toes. My body was on fire, but it was not as intense. If one were to be scratched over and over and over again, pain would increase. This was what I was going through. It was continuous and that was making it worse. An hour had passed, then two, then I lost count. I couldn’t see anything anymore, my vision clouded. Yet I could still hear him. He never seemed to leave. Others would come and go. Time would pass and I would feel needles in my arms. I assume he kept injecting me with whatever it was, which managed my pain; probably morphine. I learned his name was Caius from others who had come in and spoken to him. Caius. What an unusual name. But it fit him.

He had injected so much morphine into me that the dull burning sensation eventually stopped. That, or perhaps I adjusted to it. I could not tell how much time had passed, but by now, it had been a while, for sure. I had given up. If it were not for his constant voice, and feeling of his icy hands touching my own, I would have believed I passed on. But eventually, my vision slowly began to return. I hadn’t felt injections in hours, and no pain returned, which was strange.

The entire time I lay there, presumably dying, I thought of my life. Who would miss me? I had no parents. Both died in a car crash when I was 12. I was in the back seat and miraculously survived. Given no time to adjust to the tragedy, I was immediately placed in a foster home in New Haven, where I experienced endless amounts of bullying. But as with all foster children, my stay was temporary. For the next five years, I bounced from one home to the next. This made me reserved, quiet, and untrusting. I was socially awkward and had very few friends. My main comforts came from the company of animals. Truthfully, I got used to this solitary existence, finding that I expressed myself better through storytelling than the spoken word. In fact, my unfortunate childhood did not impact my standing at school. I was always a good student, and this landed me a fully paid scholarship to NYU where I completed a double degree in journalism and history. The lack of family and friends allowed me to dedicate all my time to my studies and work, which was conducting research for my professor. Then, after graduating, I decided to make a drastic change and start fresh with a move to Europe. For the last two years, I had spent my time travelling several countries and writing articles on historical artifacts, buildings, and churches. I sold my stories to networks as a freelance historical journalist, living alone and moving often from place to place. In fact, Volterra was my last stop in Europe before I planned to relocate to Egypt and focus on Pharaonic history there. Not many of Volterra’s tourists knew about the building I had been photographing, which was off the main street and down an alleyway. It was not glamorous, but historic, which drove me to it. That is where I was and what I was doing when I was suddenly grabbed and dragged into a dark alleyway.

My life had been flashing before my eyes over and over again. I wanted to live. To do better. To be better. I was sick of being alone. So, when my vision began returning, I was filled with motivation to live. Really live. Finally, I could focus my eyes. I stared up at what appeared to be a bed canopy. It was velvet, and dark red in color. To my right, I could sense the smell of burning candles. It was so prominent that it made my nose burn. My hands were balled into fists, grasping the cotton sheets and I could see that I ripped holes in them. How much pain was I in that I ripped a bedsheet with my bare hands? I then noticed something strange. I was not breathing. Since when was I not breathing? This frightened me immensely, and I bolted into an upright sitting position. As I did, the bed violently shook. The canopy swayed as if it would collapse at any second. Did I do this? I’m a weak little girl who couldn’t even fight off a drunk man in an alleyway, how was I doing all this? I heard a sound to my left and immediately snapped my head towards the source. It was a young woman – girl more like it – that I did not recognize. She had strange red eyes, much like my rescuer. But she frightened me more than him. There was a certain evil surrounding her, I could sense it. How, I did not know. All I knew was that she did not wish me well.

“Hello, Andromeda.” She spoke coolly.

I looked at her, suspicion and confusion painted over my face.

“H-how do you know my name?”

“Master Caius told me.”

‘Master?’ that sounded strange. Not something a girl would call a man. What was this, a sex trafficking operation? Before I could speak, she continued.

“He has been by your side. He will return any minute now. He went out hunting for you.” She spoke like an information-giving robot: just spewing facts, unmoving, her expression unchanging.

I closed my eyes and shook my head. “Hunting… that’s not necessary. I- I don’t eat meat.” Her expression finally changed. Her smirk transformed into a creepy smile, and she let out a laugh.

“Believe me, dear girl. It is not exactly meat he will be returning with.” She turned on her heels and stormed out of the room. Two guards opened the bedroom door for her and shut it as she left. So, they have my room guarded. I guess they aren’t going to let me leave.

I was not in a hurry; I needed to see Caius. Thank him. And ask him how he was able to fix me. Was I remembering correctly that he bit me?! What a strange thing to do. I looked down on my stomach, which was completely injury-free. Then, I reached my hand to the back of my neck, trying to feel any bitemarks there. Nothing. What the hell? I did not understand. I had a lot of questions and needed answers, the most pressing of which was why my throat was on fire. I would have asked the girl, but something in me yelled to keep my distance from her; that she was dangerous. Slowly, I stood up from the bed, noticing that the white dress I had on when I was shot was no longer on me. Instead, I wore a soft, white nightgown, with lace on the collar. It seemed like a typical garment from Tudor England, or something. It was unlike anything I had seen in any mall or shop. Come to think of it, the entire room had a historic, gothic feel to it. The décor resembled a royal palace.

My feet hit the marble floor and I began walking around the room, making my way to the bookshelf. There, a massive assortment of books awaited. However, they were not the typical books one would find in a normal home. These were all historic and ancient. I picked up a copy of the Iliad. Looking at the bindings, I could tell the book was old. More interestingly, it was still written in Homeric Greek – not a language many would be able to read. Whoever this belongs to was most definitely smart.

Suddenly, I felt the burning in my throat worsen. The sensation intensified to the point where I was nearly panicking. Ready to run for the doors and ask the guards for help, I heard footsteps approaching.

The door swung open, and the man… Caius walked in. No longer dying, I could properly admire his features. He looked perfect, truly. Not a single flaw on his face or skin. His nearly white, blonde hair carefully combed back behind his ears. He moved towards where I was sat in an armchair and knelt in front of me. Immediately, I was filled with a calmness. It was like I was home. I cannot describe it completely, but it was as if all problems were erased, and I was safe. This was the second time I managed to judge a person based on feelings, all within the last few minutes. First with the young woman from earlier, and now Caius. Before he could speak, the feeling was gone, and replaced once again with unease and danger, as I watched the young woman reappear, dragging a man by his wrist. Behind her, the guards entered the room and stood on either side of the man. I could feel that he was not dangerous, as the fear was practically radiating off him. The woman stepped behind him and gave him a push towards me.

“Dinner,” she stated coldly. I looked from her to the frightened man, to Caius. I could see annoyance on his face, as he turned to her and spoke.

“Must you, Jane? Do you not know of patience?”

“Forgive me, Master Caius. You were not one to show patience often, and I do learn from you.” She stated simply.

When Caius turned to me, I was grasping my throat, which was burning almost unbearably. “What is happening?!” I choked out.

“I know this will not make sense to you right now, and I will explain everything, I promise. But the only thing that will stop the ache is if you drink blood. You need to drink this man’s blood.” Caius whispered to me, out of earshot of the poor man.

I froze and looked at him with wide eyes, face in complete and utter shock.

“WHAT?! What did you just say?!” I exclaimed, not believing what I heard.

He sighed and leaned in once again, whispering. “In order to save your life from your injuries, I was forced to turn you into a vampire. You need blood, and you need it now. Trust me.” He tried again.

“I WILL NOT! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!” Hastily standing, I pushed him away. My intention was to give him a normal, hard push so that he gets the message. But nothing prepared me for what happened. When I pushed him, he went flying across the room and hitting a marble column, which shattered on impact. Immediately, the room was filled with noise and dust as the column went crashing down around him. I pushed myself into the corner of the room and watched in terror. That impact would have killed an elephant. Yet Caius, simply rose, brushing dust off his blazer and pants. The evil woman – Jane as he called her – appeared emotionless as she turned her attention from Caius to me.

“Fine. More for us then,” she said. What followed, was simply too much for me to handle.

First, I heard Caius yelling, “Jane, NO!” In one swift motion, she tore the frightened man’s throat with her teeth. Blood gushed out from the wound, spilling all over the white marble floor. I screamed in terror. But what was even more terrifying than the poor man’s death, was the smell of his blood. It was driving me crazy. It was like nothing I had ever experienced it. I craved it. Needed it. And was so close to taking it all for myself. But with any remaining strength I had left, I stopped myself. This was not me. I was a vegetarian because I cared for the well-being of animals. There was not a thing in the world which would force me to do anything to harm another living soul. So, I curled up in a ball in my corner and rocked back and forth, trying to focus my senses on anything other than the delicious smell of blood.

“I will deal with you later. Take him and leave, now!” I heard Caius’ voice. “You are not to come here again; you are not to see her! Now go!”

“Yes, Master Caius.” I heard her disgusting, venomous voice once again as she left. The doors closed and the room was filled with silence.

I momentarily thought Caius left too, but then I felt the sensation of safety return to me.

“How did I do that?” I ask with a shaking voice.

“You are a new vampire. For the first few weeks, you will be stronger than the rest of us. This will pass, and you will adjust.” He said gently.

I continued hugging my knees and rocking. Caius continued.

“This is not how a newborn should experience the first moments. But Andromeda…” he hesitated, “You need to feed. If you do not, it will only get worse. Your awareness will seize to function, and you will eventually kill more than you would have otherwise.”

With no response from me, Caius reached for my hands, placing his own over them. This woke a rage inside of me. I grasped his wrists and pushed him backwards. His back hit the wall, not as hard this time. I began speaking.

“You did this to me. You made me this… this… monster. This is on you. You should have let me die. Now, because of your selfish need for heroism, I will murder countless others.”

We both rose to our feet. He gently approached me again, saying my name, but I held my hand up to block him. “Get out. I don’t ever want to see you again. I hate you.”

With that, I pushed him towards the direction of the door. He paused,

“Andromeda-”

“GET OUT!” I picked up a glass vase and threw it in his direction, and he finally left. I sat down on the cold marble tiles, pressing my back against the wall, and screamed in agony.

#caius volturi #caius #twilight #new moon #eclipse #breaking dawn #volturi #volturi imagine #oneshot requests #oneshots #vampire #love #romance #hurt comfort #jane volturi

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taiblogcomics · 3 years

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I Can’t Pet Force You To Read This One, But...

Hey there, high school crushes. Well, it's finally here. Can you believe it? Yes, counting from the original Xanga site (which, yes, still counts. It's like our own Golden Age publication or apocryphia), this is our 10th anniversary of reviewing comics. That's fantastic. I'm excited, can't you tell? I can tell, since I'm writing this preamble a good two months before the actual anniverary~

So, last year we reviewed the absolute pile of dreck that is Heroes in Crisis. And while that was worth ripping into, I'd rather not spend the 10th anniversary hating on something. I'd like to do something actually meaningful to me. I've teased about this one for many years, probably for as long as I've been doing this blog, and I think it's time we stopped pussyfooting around and reviewed some Garfield. But not just any Garfield. It's finally time, my friends. This... is Garfield's Pet Force.

I dunno how many people will remember this one. Maybe you recall the direct-to-DVD movie adaptation from 2009, or at least advertising for it. I never saw it, but apparently it differs a bit. They also appeared a few times in those Garfield comics from back in the day. We even reviewed a couple (some were on the Xanga blog). But what we're looking at here are the original novellas published between 1997 and 1999. So yeah, these really are from my childhood. And since I've long espoused that Garfield was always funnier 20 years ago, this must be actual premium Garfield content, yeah? By golly, I hope so, because we got five whole books here today. So we should probably get into them~

Book 1: The Outrageous Origin

This is a classic sort of superhero cover. Standard team shot of poses, and that's fine for a first volume. In fact, that's great. Later editions of this would replace the lightning-filled gradient background with a pure white one, but I have this original version. We'll get to specifics about these characters in the meat of the story, but let's talk about the costumes for a bit. Very classic early-'90s sort of look, before the Dark Age kicked in. Reminds me a lot of Jim Lee's X-Men designs, actually. Making all your characters visually distinct is important in a team book. The heavy lean into secondary colours is unusual for heroic characters, but not unwelcome.

So we actually start with a cold open in the superhero universe. This is pretty much to introduce us to the characters as soon as possible, and thus I'll do the same for you here.

*Garzooka, team leader, super strong, has a razor-sharp claw, and can shoot radioactive hairballs from his mouth. That's... at least a unique power, I don't think anyone on the Justice League can do that~ *Odious, the dumb muscle with the accent on the "dumb". Possibly even stronger than Garzooka, and possessing a "super-stretchy stun tongue", an elastic tongue that can scramble the minds of whoever it adheres to. *Starlena, the team girl. She can fly, and she has a siren song that can put those who hear it into a hypnotic trance. Garzooka is the only one immune to its effects, for reasons that are never explained. *Abnermal, the kid-appeal character. He has ice powers, forcefields, and an ill-defined "pester power" that means he can annoy people on a greater scale than normal folks. It's pretty much only used for comic relief, but that could be a brilliant power in the right hands. *Compooky, the brains of the operation. Other than flight, his powers are limited to super intelligence, which means he's usually the exposition guy. There's probably a reason they left him out of the movie adaptation~

You got all that? Don't worry, we'll introduce you again later in the book. What actually happens in the intro chapter isn't really important, it's just setting up the universe. In fact, it's all taking place within Pet Force #99, a comic just enjoyed by Nermal. Yes, we quickly cut over to the main Garfield universe ("our universe", the narrator calls it), where Pet Force is just a comic book. The Garfield gang is all outside, enjoying a cookout prepared by Jon Arbuckle. Nermal is extremely enthused by his comic book, and brags about how he has all 98 previous issues sealed and polybagged, and this one will soon join them. Sorry, Nermal, this came out in 1997, the speculator boom already went bust~

Garfield dismisses comic books as stupid because you can't eat them or use them as a blanket, and declares that none of the stuff that happens in the comic could possibly happen in real life. Uh oh, irony! Because these things can happen, and do! It's a parallel universe, baby! This might be one of my earliest introductions to a "parallel worlds" concept. Much like Earths 1 and 2 in pre-Crisis DC, the events of the comic are essentially the real life adventures of their super-powered counterparts in another dimension. Most of the action in these stories will take place there~

So here's the setup: Vetvix (the parallel equivalent to Liz the veternarian) is an evil sorceress and scientist, who essentially wants to experiment on animals in peace, and possibly subjugate the universe while she's at it. You could argue that Liz is an odd choice for villain, since our universe's Liz isn't particularly evil. But then, our universe's Garfield isn't particularly heroic either. She operates out of a deadly space station called the Orbiting Clinic of Chaos, and at present she's waiting for the arrival of her henchman, Space Pie-Rat, who is a six-foot-tall anthropomorphic rat dressed in stereotypical pirate getup. Vetvix has just finished inventing a levitation ray, and she'd like Pie-Rat to go out and use it to steal all the food in the universe. Vetvix doesn't think small, is what I'm saying.

The counter to Vetvix is Emperor Jon, ruler of the planet Polyester. He's kind and benevolent, even if he's a little dippy and his fashion sense atrocious. Having gotten wind of Vetvix's latest plan, he contacts Pet Force in their ship, the Lightspeed Lasagna. Upon learning the problem, Pet Force gives chase to Pie-Rat. They eventually corner him on some desolate planet, landing and entering an abandoned factory. Unfortunately, they're not safe amongst the dangerous machinery, because this turns out to be a trap. Vetvix has been busy as hell, because she's also invented a metal that's impervious to their powers. And that's not all, because she's also basically invented the Phantom Zone, where she traps Pet Force forever. It specifically mentions it doesn’t kill them, because it wouldn't be kosher to murder the heroes in a Garfield book~

The Lightspeed Lasagna has both onboard cameras connected to the heroes' belts as well as automatic return protocols, so within two days, Emperor Jon knows exactly what's happened to Pet Force. He needs help, so he calls upon his most trusted and powerful advisor: Binky the Sorceror. Binky's just as loud and obnoxious as in the main universe, but he's also a powerful magician. He conjures up a spell for Emperor Jon that lets him pierce the veil between universes. It's basically Equestria Girls rules: parallel universes have similar characters between them. So to replace Pet Force, they need the nearest genetic equivalents from another universe. And that's the versions of Garfield, Odie, Arlene, Nermal, and Pooky that we know and love~

Back in the main universe, it's another day entirely. Another cookout is taking place, and Nermal has received his special anniversary issue of Pet Force #100. The cover's really special, dripping with '90s cover gimmicks like glow-in-the-dark and embossing. A rarely used one, though, was "portal to another universe". That was pretty expensive to print, so you won't find many comics like Nermal's. Maybe he had something there with the collecting after all. The cover glows, and while Jon is distracted by the grill, Garfield and Friends disappear~

They reappear in Emperor Jon's wood-paneled throne room, now transformed into Pet Force. Emperor Jon and Sorceror Binky try to explain the situation, but Garfield--now Garzooka--is disbelieving of the whole thing. In fact, even the idea that Jon can now hear him talk absolutely floors him. Since he's about to deliver the exposition for everyone, can we talk about Compooky for a minute? This spell has just granted sapience to Garfield's teddy bear. I don't expect deep philosophy from a children's novella, but the ramifications of this are really under-explored. Like, never mind the whole idea of a teddy bear having the same genetic makeup as an alternate universe equivalent. He goes from inanimate object to fully conscious being, and he just rolls with it.

Anyways, once everybody gets caught up on what's going on and accepts the new reality, a training montage ensues so the group can all learn to use their powers without killing each other. Once at least reasonably trained, the reborn Pet Force is sent out to stop Pie-Rat. He's gotten sloppy in the times with Pet Force dead, so they track him down easily. After a brief scuffle where Garzooka takes his eyepatch, Pie-Rat flees in his ship. They follow Pie-Rat back to the Orbital Clinic of Chaos, but they can't go in the front. That led the original Pet Force into a trap. Finding an unguarded maintenance hatch--standard on any big space station--they enter Vetvix's lair for a final confrontation!

After dealing with the Waiting Room of Doom, which slowly fills with outdated magazines, they enter Vetvix's inner sanctum. Frustrated with Pie-Rat's failure, she uses her magic to turn him into an ordinary mouse. Vetvix then attempts to use her same weapon on this new Pet Force, but thanks to story contrivance, it only works on beings born in this universe. As other dimensional visitors already, they can't be banished to another dimension. She then pulls a Dr. Claw and runs off cursing Pet Force's name while her base self-destructs. Vetvix is a very "discard and draw" sort of villain, it seems. Pet Force, of course, makes a harrowing escape just in the nick of time.

Returning to Emperor Jon, they vow to be ready to return whenever they're called on, since evil never stays dormant for long. Odious even gifts Emperor Jon with the mouse-ified Pie-Rat as proof of their victory. Well, I'm glad they remember that, so they didn't accidentally murder a major villain in their first superhero outing. They're returned to their own universe, and the time differential between them places them back with Jon having not had time to even look up from the grill. Garfield begins to doubt the adventure even happened--until that night, when he finds Pie-Rat's eyepatch still on his person. Ah, definitive proof of... eyepatches, I guess~

Book 2: Pie-Rat's Revenge!

You have to wonder where, in a space-faring superhero setting, Pie-Rat got the inspiration for his classic pirate motif. It's a little incongruous is all I'm saying. And hey, remember when I said earlier that Garzooka's purple-and-green colour scheme was odd for a hero? Well, here he is as a villain! That'll catch your eye. This would be a terrific comic cover, which is what you want in a series like this.

The book opens with a brief recap of the previous story's events, then moves into the new plot. See, Emperor Jon has opted to keep the polymorphed Pie-Rat as his pet. How very Ron Weasley of him. That's pretty apt, actually, because similarly Pie-Rat has maintained his intelligence in his new mousey form. Pie-Rat gets sick of being Emperor Jon's pet and plans a daring escape, exploiting the emperor's dimwitted and loving personality against him. Pie-Rat jams the lock with a food pellet and makes his escape that night.

Once free from his cage, he encounters Binky's cauldron, still left in the throne room from when the sorceror summoned Pet Force from Garfield's universe. Figuring he has nothing to lose, Pie-Rat jumps in the leftover brew. Suddenly he finds himself growing. He returns to his original anthropomorphic state--but with a twist. He's now twice his original height, a staggering twelve feet tall. He scoops up the rest of the remaining potion for later, and sneaks out of the palace as best as a 12-foot rat can sneak. Desiring revenge on both his former employer and his longtime foes, he steals Pet Force's ship and makes his escape from the planet, headed for Vetvix's newest base.

After his guards help Emperor Jon put the pieces of the problem together, they decide they must once again call upon the powers of Pet Force to recover their missing vehicle and stop the newly embiggened Pie-Rat. Fortunately, Garfield and friends have been watching movies all weekend, so Jon doesn't notice when his pets disappear from the living room in a bright flash. Of course, once returned to the alternate universe and the situation explained, they still have a problem: how do they give chase to Pie-Rat when he's got their ship?

And speaking of Pie-Rat in their ship, he's followed the trail of a mysterious energy output, and it's led him right to Vetvix's new base, the Menacing Moon of Mayhem. See, this is why you don't blow up your base: the backup base is never as good. if it was, it wouldn't be the backup. Given that it's such a shoddy base, Pie-Rat is easily able to get inside and get close to Vetvix. She's expecting a technological attack, so she's unprepared when he pulls out that vial of magic potion and sprinkles her with it. And naturally, the potion that made him grow 12 feet tall makes Vetvix shrink to 5 inches. It's magic, we don't have to explain it!

Pie-Rat takes the magic crystal that Vetvix uses to fuel her powers, which of course didn't shrink because magic is just bullshit. See previous paragraph's last sentence. And while Pie-Rat takes over the base and begins plotting a further revenge against Pet Force, we cut over to them. They're at Sorceror Binky's own castle, and it's clear he's a bit of a hoarder. This is to their advantage, though, as they eventually piece together a working spaceship out of old car parts and other things, all patched together between Compooky's know-how and Binky's magic. This seems like the sort of book where I could use that "it's magic" quote every other paragraph. But craft a new--if small--ship they do, and speed off in the newly christened Planetary Pizza.

The rickety little ship does eventually find its way to Pie-Rat's base, saving him the trouble of being proactive as a villain. The magic thing keeps happening, and Pie-Rat basically becomes Discord for a bit while he fights them, doing things like turning Starlena's siren song into actual living music notes. One by one, the members of Pet Force are taken out, with only Garzooka is left. He and Pie-Rat struggle, while Pie-Rat tries to aim the magic crystal at Garzooka. Garzooka uses his claw to rip the crystal from Pie-Rat and defeat him.

Unfortunately, here's where the cover comes in. It seems the moments Pie-Rat was focusing the crystal during the struggle affected Garzooka's mind. He puts the crystal around his own neck. which turns him evil. He helps Pie-Rat to his feet, and the pair escape in the Lightspeed Lasagna. While Pet Force pursues them in their ramshackle ship, the new criminal duo strikes the storage planet of Deli to steal their food. Pet Force manages to catch up as the villains celebrate their spoils, and use a magic blast from the systems Binky installed to short out the Lightspeed Lasagna. This enables them to dock with the ship and climb aboard for a contfrontation.

The group fights, and once again the bearer of a bullshit magic crystal subdues the heroes easily. Annoyed now, Garzooka takes hold of Starlena and prepares to kill her or something. She taps into the one thing she has left: she's not fighting just Garzooka, but Garfield in his body. She drops some heavy put-downs, which resonate with Garfield, and he hesitates long enough for her to cut the crystal off him. The crystal hits the floor and shatters, undoing its evil magics on Garzooka's mind as well as on all his teammates. With Pet Force reunited, Pie-Rat is easily subdued and locked up.

The group waits for the ship to power back up, then speed off to apologise to the planet Deli. Following that, they head back towards Vetvix's moonbase. That night, though, the magic that was making Pie-Rat 12 feet tall wears off, and he escapes from his cell. He steals the remaining shards of the crystal, climbs into the Planetary Pizza, and makes a getaway. As a bonus, he also repeats the power-down spell against the bigger ship, giving him ample time to escape. And he's not the only one. Over on the Menacing Moon of Mayhem, Vetvix also returns to her proper size, and abandons this base as well. And when Pet Force fails to find her, they simply return to their own universe, ready to be called on once again in the future~

Book 3: K-Niner: Dog of Doom!

Another very basic comic book-style cover. K-Niner is a much more typical villain in style. This one's actually a wrap-around, and features the rest of Pet Force reacting to K-Niner on the back cover. Which is good because, other than the first cover, the covers all have a heavy Garzooka focus. Which makes sense for a book series, I suppose, you wanna assure the kiddos that Garfield's gonna be in the book. But as a comic book series, this would be a bad look for a team book~

So after our standard introduction and recap, we start off with Vetvix in yet another new base, the Floating Fortress of Fear. I'm sure it's very intimidating, if she can keep hold of it for more than a single book. She's picking up from the epilogue and putting the last touches on K-Niner, mostly enhancing his intelligence. Now, you look at the cover and tell me what kind of voice you'd expect. Some sort of German or Austrian accent, like the doberman on Road Rovers? Does anyone remember Road Rovers~? Anyways, but no: he speaks with a posh British accent. You know, the "I say, good chaps, looks like we're in a bit of a sticky wicket, eh wot?" type. Trust me, you can tell. But just because he sounds refined doesn't mean he's not evil.

I also love that after the initial "trapped them in the Phantom Zone" bit, the villains just go whole ham. K-Niner here demonstrates that he is indeed evil by threatening to rip out Vetvix's throat. Let your villains be villainous is all I'm saying. She's pleased he's so vicious, but feels he needs to learn his place as well. She force-chokes him until he complies. She then gives him his assignment: she thinks dogs should be liberated. The Boy Mayor of Second Life would approve, and so does K-Niner. Turning pets on their masters is just his style.

K-Niner takes a portable evolution gun, and immediately sets off. He begins on the planet Kennel. Isn't it neat how every planet is named after an English word that describes its function? K-Niner quickly takes over the dog population and turns them against their masters, because boosting their intelligence also makes them evil, of course. They use enslavement collars on their former owners, and within a few days, the dogs now run the planet. We cut over to Emperor Jon on Polyester, where a man has crash-landed a ship. He's an escapee from Kennel, and he's here to report the events so we can get the plot moving and once more summon Pet Force!

And summoned once more they are, Garfield and Friends once more conveniently disappearing in a split second while Jon's back is turned (this time they're outside playing volleyball). And once back in the parallel universe, Emperor Jon fills them all in on K-Niner's dastardly doings. Garzooka, naturally, takes great offense to dogs being in charge, and takes his duties as a hero completely seriously for once. Pet Force takes off for a confrontation with K-Niner in the Lightspeed Lasagna. And speaking of Pet Force's ships...

The Planetary Pizza, piloted by Pie-Rat, plants its pads down on polar planet Glacia. Pie-Rat is here seeking a way to restore his magic crystal and regain his mighty magic powers. He's sought out the home of a legendary evil wizard, who's known by the name of... Barfo. I see why Barfo keeps his location a secret. But anyway, Barfo is the one who made the crystal, so naturally Pie-Rat reasons he can restore it as well. Suprisingly once on Glacia, Barfo's evil lair is pretty easy to find. His manservant, Hobart the Gnome, brings Pie-Rat before the wizard, and within moments the crystal is restored! Pie-Rat turns to thank Hobart, but Hobart suddenly turns into Vetvix!

Yes, Vetvix knew all along that Pie-Rat's quest would lead him here. And as she was once Barfo's student in the ways of evil magic, she knew she could get the old coot to go along with her plan. Barfo returns the crystal to Vetvix, restoring her powers. And so Pie-Rat, a recurring villain in three whole books, is unceremoniously done away with, as Vetvix teleports him inside an asteroid, trapping him in solid rock. Even if the asteroid were hollow or he displaced the interior when he teleported in, no doubt he'll suffocate within moments. That's pretty harsh.

With that over, we rejoin Pet Force as they approach Kennel. K-Niner's battle cruiser spots them incoming, and shoots the ship down, even in spite of Abnermal's forcefields. Pet Force bail out of the ship, and Abnermal uses his powers to make snow to cushion their fall. Upon landing, a contingent of mutant animals attack. The mooks aren't much, but K-Niner himself puts up an impressive fight. However, one of the mooks pulls a gun and points it at Compooky. This is why Compooky usually stays aboard the ship, but that wasn't an option. Rather than let their friend get hurt, Pet Force surrenders.

Pet Force is held prisoner separately from Compooky, with both the cell's technology making it freeze-proof and threats of "don't break out, or we'll shoot your compatriot". Their imprisonment is not long, though, as suddenly the power goes out. Pet Force takes advantage of the situation and make their escape, quickly running into Compooky. K-Niner didn't think the hyper-intelligent teddy bear needed a high security cell, and just locked him in the basement. It was easy for him to then break out and shut down the local power grid. This also has the side effect of turning off the control collars the humans were wearing. How convenient!

With control of the planet now tilted in their favour, Pet Force now has time to both fix their ship and reverse the polarity of the brain-boosting weapons, turning the dog population of Kennel back to their normal selves. Though the experience did change the pet owners of Kennel. Having experienced life in their pets' shoes (so to speak) for a bit, they've resolved to treat their canine companions a bit more equally. More being allowed on the furniture, less stupid tricks for treats. Still, Pet Force can't stay long, and they head off in pursuit of K-Niner's battle cruiser. This is why most superheroes don't have spaceships (Jedis don't count): if your enemy also has one, they can flee way more easily than on foot.

Not willing to let another place go to the dogs, as it were, Pet Force catches up with K-Niner. With his previous success, Vetvix has stepped up the timetable and sent him after Polyester right away. Emperor Jon is in danger! They enter the planet's atmosphere, and are attacked by fighter craft. They fend them off, but their weapons system is damaged in the fight, so they can't simply use the reverse brain-rays and solve it quickly. The team splits up instead: Garzooka and Abnermal will go after K-Niner, while the other three will find the planet's power source and knock out the collars, since that worked so well the last time.

The two heroes quickly make short work of K-Niner's guards, and then turn the battle to deal with the Dog of Doom himself. While the struggle goes on, the rest of Pet Force reach the planet's power grid. Using a clever tactic, Compooky overloads the power and causes and electrical storm that simultaneously undoes the brain-boosting effect and shorts out the enslavement collars. There's only a few pages left, after all, and we have to wrap this up. K-Niner is reverted back into an ordinary dog, and the emperor is reverted to an ordinary non-enslaved person. The day is saved!

And now once again, Pet Force prepares to return to their own universe. However... when the spell clears, the five heroes are still standing there. Something is blocking the passage between dimensions, and Pet Force is trapped. And while Pet Force's adventures have taken place between mere moments in their own universe, they have always returned quickly enough that Jon didn't notice a thing. But this time, as Jon retrieves the volleyball and turns around to his pets, he's surprised to find they've all vanished into thin air...

Book 4: Menace of the Mutanator

This one's very striking because of its more painted look compared to the heavy black outlines the rest of the covers have. Does this one count as having the whole team on the cover? Because, spoilers, that's what the Mutanator is: the rest of Pet Force mashed up into a villain. Again, though, that's definitely a striking image that'd draw in readers to a comic cover. In fact, while Garzooka may be over-used as a cover focus, several of these also show him imperiled in some way, and that's nice for character stuff. That helps balace it a bit~

I wanna say, before we start, that I'm impressed by the continuity for the series as a whole. They could've just written each story as a standalone, but for a series of 100-page children's novellas starring Garfield characters as superheroes, things happen in these books. Like, maybe not sweeping status quo changes, but events affect the plot of each next book down the line. And that's where we pick up! Right where the last book left off, with Pet Force now stuck in the alternate universe, unable to return home to Jon. But if they can't go home to Jon, well, maybe then events will conspire to bring Jon to them~

Yep, because Jon happens to wander into the room where they keep the copy of Pet Force #100 that acts as a portal to their universe, he gets transported into the Pet Force universe. And since Emperor Jon is still an extant entity, there's just two Jons now. Jon, of course, is a bit freaked out, and it takes several pages to explain the whole deal to him, and also have a showcase of all their powers to pad out the book some more. Eventually, they decide to call in Sorceror Binky to examine the problem. When he has a go of it, a sudden tornado emerges from the cauldron and whisks away Pet Force--save for Garzooka, whose prodigious strength keeps him anchored.

Garzooka heads out in the Lightspeed Lasagna to track Pet Force's signature, glad to get away from a double trouble Jon. And while he's searching, the scene cuts to Vetvix's Floating Fortress of Fear. Hey, one of her bases actually lasted more than one book! This is where Pet Force has been transported to, once more in a power-proof cell. Vetvix monologues to the heroes, as she is wont to do, explaining that she's the one who cast the spell to keep them from returning home. And further, she's brought them here to mutate them into her servants.

While Emperor Jon exposits about his backstory (turns out he is not of royal blood, and has about as much legitimate claim to the throne as you or I do), the search continues. Sorceror Binky detects Pet Force, giving them all a view of what happens next. The trapped members of Pet Force are literally broken apart and reassembled: Odious' body, Compooky's brain inserted into the chest, Abnermal's hands, and Starlena's head. She christens this beast "Mutanator", and it is soullessly obedient. I also wanna say, Mutanator's kind of a non-binary icon, aren't they? (The comic uses "it", but it was 1998 and alternative pronouns weren't really a thing yet.) Muscular, masculine body, but confident enough to still wear lipstick. It's a look, is all I'm saying~

Mutanator continues to possess the combined powers of Pet Force as well. Vetvix sends them to attack the planet Armory to gear up before attempting to conquer Polyester. And meanwhile, thanks to the convenience of being able to scan all of Compooky's memories now that his brain is part of Mutanator, Vetvix has the perfect trap to spring on Garzooka--or should she say Garfield. Yes, she really knows the whole origin for Pet Force now, and now she knows all Garfield's weaknesses, likes and dislikes, and probably blood type and other dating profile stats~

Thus, when Garzooka receives the coordinates from Emperor Jon and arrives at the Floating Fortress, he finds himself menaced by giant spiders. Vetvix couldn't think of a way to get Mondays to attack him, so the Giant Spider Invasion will do. Spiders are apparently very formiddable foes, Garzooka's personal fears aside. They can swat gamma hairballs out of the air, they can construct webs as quickly as certain Marvel heroes, and their hairy exoskeletons are resistant to both claw and strength. But despite his fear and Abnermal's running commentary, Garzooka manages to trounce the spiders with a carefully applied flame--taking Vetvix's blueprints with them.

Garzooka heads out once again to track down the Mutanator, leaving his less-than-all-together friends in the safety of their forcefield prison. While he's off, we return to the perspective of his target. Using their combined powers, the Mutanator swiftly conquers the planet Armory and sets their sights on Polyester next. It's not a bad plan, honestly. With the stockpile from Armory, not only will the Mutanator be more powerful, Polyester won't be able to use the planet for backup. Fortunately for the two Jons, though, Garzooka intercepts the Mutanator before they can leave Armory.

The fight's actually pretty good. Very back and forth. But even despite Garzooka's great strength, the Mutanator wins in the end. Thankfully, Vetvix puts her conquest of Polyester on hold to take the time to retrieve Garzooka and add his power to the Mutanator. This, of course will be her undoing--in a completely ridiculous way, of course. For back in the palace, our universe's Jon is watching Pet Force's struggles with the scrying cauldron. And he leans in a bit too close. Sowhile Vetvix is prepping the machine to divide Garzooka's body like she did the rest of Pet Force, Jon suddenly tumbles through the dimensional warp caused by the cauldron and lands on Vetvix, which causes her to put the machine in reverse. A real Jonnus ex cauldrona there, eh?

The Mutanator disappears, their existance as a unique being wiped out as their pieces return to their proper Pet Force owners. With Pet Force reassembled, Garzooka takes out Vetvix with one of his gamma-radiated hairballs while she's distracted by Jon. Pet Force decides that the vile veternarian should have a taste of her own medicine, and stick her in the body-splicing machine with some of her guards. This divides them all up and mixes them into bizarre combinations. It also has the side effect of disabling Vetvix's magic, so they can return to their own universe now.

The book wraps up here. Pet Force first returns to Armory to both return the stolen weapons and also make repairs on the buildings that were damaged in Garzooka's fight with the Mutanator. That's the sort of thing I'd like to see in more superhero stories in general. The two Jons part ways, with the Emperor believing the other Jon's heroism to have been deliberate. And thus are Garfield and friends returned home. And just like the end of their first adventure, where Garfield couldn't be sure if it really happened, so too is Jon's memory fading. Had he really witnessed all that? Only his pets know for sure--and in this universe, they can't talk~

Book 5: Attack of the Lethal Lizards

This one's another wrap-around, showing the rest of Pet Force engaging the remaining Lethal Lizards on the back cover. This is one advantage books have over comics: a front and back cover you can use for your story-telling. The Lizard designs are pretty good for a villain group too. Like Pet Force, they don't adhere to a particular theme, but they do look good individually. Garzooka roasting a hot dog on a stick might be a bit too comedic for a superhero story, though. It sets the tone wrong. How "lethal" can they possibly be if Garzooka is out here roasting hot dogs in the middle of battle?

So here we go, last book. After the usual recap, we open with Jon explaining to Garfield and friends his latest plans: they're going to WackyWorld, a theme park dedicated to Jon's favourite cartoon, The Wackies. Both Garfield and Nermal think the show is lame, and if those two agree on something, you know it must be so. In less lame universes, however, trouble is once more a-brewing. So it turns out Vetvix's Floating Fortress of Fear has been orbiting the swamp planet Reptilius this whole time. And her various experiments in the last two books have been radiating the planet in magical energy...

From that magical power, three reptiles find themselves uplifted in intelligence and granted fantastic powers. Please say hello to our three main villains for this book: Snake, an enormous snake (the only one without an anthro design) with stretching powers; Chameleon, who can shapeshift; and Dragon, a komodo dragon with fire breath and the bad attitude to match. While Snake and Chameleon figure out their powers, Dragon declares himself the leader as he's clearly the smartest, strongest, and most powerful. They name themselves the Lethal Lizards and start plotting how to rule the planet.

After that exciting intro, though, the book kind of slows down. First we get a whole chapter of Emperor Jon also deciding to go on vacation, to planet Funlandia. With Vetvix out of commission for a while, there's no better time. In short, he's out of the castle and Sorceror Binky is in charge. This is followed by a chapter of Jon and his pets at WackyWorld. It's certainly an accommodating amusement park to allow pets on its grounds. Garfield at least gets along with the food, but if you know anything about amusement park food prices, the amount Garfield eats will make your wallet weep. Jon takes his mind off it by dragging the pets along to a ride. Surely they have to be under the height restriction~

Fortunately, we get back to the actual stars of this book, and we see a bit more of their dynamic. Snake is the sort who sucks up to whoever's calling themselves "Boss" at the moment. Dragon is power-hungry, and it's clear he'll sell out his allies at the drop of a hat. Chameleon is Starscream. Anyway, they trek through the jungles of Reptilius until they find a downed spaceship. Reviewing the logs reveals it was a scout ship from Vetvix, and they also learn of Vetvix and her mission. However, they don't know where Emperor Jon lives, so they crowd into the the newly christened Rapacious Reptile and set course for the stars.

The first planet they come across is a world called Klod. Quickly the Lethal Lizards beat up the populace and find the local government. Chameleon shapeshifts into a dignitary, pretending to be an advance entourage for Emperor Jon, schmoozing with the governor until he learns both what Jon looks like and the name of his planet. With this information secure, Chameleon nips out suddenly, and the trio sets forth towards Polyester. Governer Klutz calls up the palace as soon as the reptiles depart, and reports the incident to Sorceror Binky.

Binky wastes no time, and he dials up Pet Force. Since all five are in one place, he's able to pull them through even without them being near the gateway through issue #100's cover. Convenient! Pet Force, however, does waste time, as a lengthy comedy scene eats up several pages before we just get on with it. Eventually, the situation is conveyed, and they figure it's safer to keep Emperor Jon on Funlandia for the time being. Compooky stays behind to help plan some strategies, while the rest of Pet Force boards the Lightspeed Lasagna to intercept the Lethal Lizards before they even arrive.

Pet Force spends the next few minutes both scanning for incoming ships and bickering with each other, so I'm very glad when the Rapacious Reptile appears on their detectors before too long. Dragon threatens the ship, telling them to move or he'll knock them aside. It's a spaceship, dude, you can move in three dimensions. The ships trade shots, and while Chameleon's piloting is actually pretty good due to his independently-rotating eyeballs, eventually both ships crash land on whatever planet is nearby.

Both ships crash right next to each other, which is improbable but less ridiculous than some of the contrivances in these books, so I'm okay with it. Now you'd think what with the enemies being reptiles and Abnermal having freezing powers that this battle would be over really easily, but no. In fact, Garzooka and Dragon are pretty evenly matched. Snake turns out to be immune to Starlena's siren song because snakes don't have external ears. See, now there's a contrivance I find a bit weird. Snake swallows Abnermal whole, and Chameleon and Odious get literally tongue-tied. The Lethal Lizards actually live up to their name pretty well.

As the fight continues, half of both sides are laid out when Compooky comes rushing up, saying he has an urgent message from the emperor. And that's when he sucker-punches the team. It was actually Chameleon in disguise, having gotten knocked away when he and Odious separated. So yeah, round one goes to the Lizards, and they make their escape first. Pet Force regroups, and they give chase. The Lizards have enough head start to really lay siege to Polyester before Pet Force arrives, though. They even get access to the palace using Chameleon's shapeshifting, leading to Sorceror Binky letting slip the real location of the emperor just as Pet Force arrives.

Another fight ensues--see, now it's really a superhero story--and the Lizards leave again 2 and 0. This time Snake uses his venomous fangs to attack Starlena. This leads to the weirdest contrivance yet. Maybe not the worst, but definitely the weirdest. They have only minutes to save Starlena. So how do they do it? Well, they notice that Odious drools quite a lot. It's very "fluid output". So they have Binky magically reverse Odious' drooling, so that he has "fluid input" on his tongue instead. It becomes a big suction sponge and sucks the poison out of Starlena. They then restore the drooling, and he just harmlessly drools out the poison. What.

With their teammate saved, Pet Force pursues the Lethal Lizards to Funlandia. They get there just in time to rescue Emperor Jon from their clutches, with Garzooka and Odious combining their strength to literally rip a kiddie ride out of the ground. Starlena corners Chameleon in a hall of mirrors, turning his own trick against him. Snake is undone by Odious' strength. And Garzooka fights Dragon to a standstill, finally trapping all three on a roller coaster still operating. When the ride comes to an end, Abnermal freezes them all until the authorities can retrieve them.

Naturally, Emperor Jon thinks it's all part of the show (because Jon is dimwitted in any universe). The Lizards are sent to a lizard-proof prison (seriously, it specifies this), and Pet Force returns to their own universe. As usual, Jon didn't notice his pets go missing during the dark amusement park ride. The book concludes on an ominous note, however, as the ship carrying the Lethal Lizards makes its jump to lightspeed just as it passes the Floating Fortress of Fear. The shockwave knocks over some debris that reactivates the combining machine, restoring Vetvix to her full evil might once more!

The end!

No, really. Those five books are all there was. I hear it may have continued into the comics, but I don’t know how accurate that is. I didn’t really look into it.

But boy, what a ride, huh? Let’s dissect the books one at a time, since it only seems fair to take them as individual stories.

The Outrageous Origin: It’s a fairly basic origin story, I’d say. It kind of has to be. I guess my main gripe is that, like Rita Repulsa’s entire run on Power Rangers, the heroes never fight the main villain directly. In fact, there’s barely even an evil plot in this one. You have henchmen and some traps, and that’s about it for the menace.

Pie-Rat’s Revenge: A cautionary tale about why you treat your minions with respect. This one’s pretty good, but the events depicted on the cover make up such a small part of the book. Wouldn’t it have been more fun if Garzooka was turned at the beginning of the story? Book 4 would at least do the reverse of that, so it’s not a major complaint~

K-Niner, Dog of Doom: I think this one’s about as middle of the road as you can get. What a coincidence that it’s also the middle of the series! Like I said in the recap portion, it’s a shame that Pie-Rat’s story ended here. This one definitely feels more “villain of the week” than most.

Menace of the Mutanator: This one might be the best book in the series. Garzooka, alone, battling against the best parts of his team? That’s gripping stuff. I guess the main problem is that the Mutanator isn’t really a character in and of themselves. Like, K-Niner, he may have been a generic rent-a-villain type, but he had a personality. Mutanator is little more than an extention of Vetvix’s will.

Attack of the Lethal Lizards: I’m a bit split on this one. The bits with the titular Lizards are great. They steal the show! But the parts where it focuses on either Jon kind of drag, and Pet Force is a bit too jokey here. Like, I get the point is that they’ve relaxed into their roles now, and there’s not much point of doing it as a Garfield story if they don’t actually use the character personalities, but... I dunno. It’s good, but it could have been better~

And that’s it! Like, I dunno how to wrap this up. Pet Force was neither my first exposure to superheroes nor my first introduction to the Garfield brand (you can thank Saturday morning cartoons for both of those). But for some reason, maybe just the absurdly goofy premise, it always kinda stuck with me. And I think that’s a good enough reason to make it my 10th anniversary review, don’t you~?

#books #reviews #Garfield #Pet Force #Garfield's Pet Force #Taiblog

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bloo-the-dragon · 2 years

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Monty from fanf for fandom thing

Oh now this is an interesting one!

First impression:

Honestly i didn’t really have much of an impression of him at first (same with Roxy) xD i was more focused on Freddy and Chica since they were the two i recognised. Though i had noticed his name was eerily similar to ‘Bonnie’ whom i also noticed was missing, but didn’t think too much on it at the time.

So i guess i didn’t really have much of an opinion on him at first other than ‘oh a crocodile thats cool’

Impression now:

Mixed. Very. VERY. Mixed.

Ok so Monty for me is a very mixed bag of things xD At first the more i watched the playthroughs i noticed Monty was clearly intended to be the ‘more brawn less brains’ one of the group, and the fact you can hear him going hog wild in his room when going through the vents, and comments he makes like ‘you can hide, but you cannot hide’ seem to push this lol.

I thought ok that’s interesting, but then... THEN i learned of the logs that strongly hint that Monty was responsible for Bonnie’s disappearence/potential turning to scrap.

And... well my view on him instantly shifted xD

I’ve never been much attached to the fnaf characters before, as i never got invested enough in the games for a hyperfixiation to form (and admittedly the fandom scared me LOL) but even so i’ve always kind of liked Bonnie (he and Foxy were the closest to ‘faves’ as could get considering i wasn’t overly attached to any of them before lol) so yeah as a result i started to dislike Monty a bit. xD

AND THEN of course the hyperfixiation starts (mainly due to papa bear and two certain jester animatronics) and as a result i start poking around the fandom! In my searches i started to find some funny and wholesome art of Monty that made me think, ‘oh maybe he’s not so bad i think i could learn to like him more’

Yeah that was wishful thinking LOL but don’t get me wrong, i don’t outright dislike him anymore, but when the ships started popping up in my face (like glittergolf, that one especially just seemed to pop up on every new fnaf blog i considered following :’D i mean absolutely no offence to people who like it tho, but i find the ship very offputting xD) which unfortunately only made me shy away from Monty even more. :’D

As of right now though, i guess i’m kind of neutral toward him? I’ve been reading a fanfic lately though that has improved my view on him, even though he’s not a main character i do love how he’s written even as a side character.

So yeah i guess my current view on Monty is, he’s not exactly a preference and he’s far from being a fave, but i do hope to warm up to him some more in the future, granted i find enough good content with him in it. :)

Favorite moment:

*thinks of the funny edit from Markipliers video*

Probably his part in the opening sequence.

Idea for a story:

None atm but maybe one day i’ll do a short drabble or something on him with Sun and Moon because i’d like to see some more platonic content with them three for a change. xD

Unpopular opinion:

I don’t think he’s as dumb as he lets on tbh, like idk why maybe it’s the Bonnie thing but a part of me just likes the idea he might be sharper than he lets on and that’s why he reacts so violently to the afton virus taking over him because i think he is literally trying to fight it but in the process only causes destruction around him as the virus drives him mad as it does the others (Freddy and mostly Sun excluded)

Favorite relationship:

Hmmmm hard to say... havn’t really seen much content with him with the others that isn’t ship art or ship teasing, so i havn’t really formed any as of yet. I do like the idea he gets on well with Freddy, and has a friendly rivalry with Roxy though!

Favorite headcanon:

HMMMMMM again hard to say... the fact he was responsible for Bonnie’s disposal is very intriguing to me though, despite how it made me feel in the beginning xD i feel there was more to be said on that whole ordeal that never made it into the final game which was a real shame (unless it’s being saved for a sequel though it’s unlikely)

#fnaf #fnaf security breach #five nights at freddy's #five nights at freddy's security breach #fnaf monty #questions and answers #anon #Monty's got potential to be a very interesting character i think #behind the stereotypical brawn and no brain i do think there is more to him #or i like to think so anyway #but so far i havn't spent much time investing in thinking about it or looking for headcanons on it because #of well all the aforementioned i guess xD #but even so i am still fairly new in this fandom so given some time maybe that will change #we'll see

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uwumessenger · 4 years

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Can we get general headcanons for a scenario where obey me MC attending their sister's wedding and their sister is MC from mystic messenger 😳😳 I just think it'd be so funny for them to meet each other lmaooo and can mystic messenger MC be getting married to saeyoung ❤️ I love your blog btw you have some cute stuff 😭

mystic messenger x obey me simp nation RISE

ah yes i have been itching to get my hands on this request haha and thank you!! BUT OMG HAVE YOU BEEN IN MY BRAIN? BC OKAY SO LIKE TO FALL ASLEEP I ALWAYS NEED TO HAVE A SCENARIO PLAYING IN MY HEAD AND THIS WAS ONE OF THE SCENARIOS I HAD ONE TIME CJZMNDMSM i dont have an irl crush so all my romantic imaginations consist of the mystic messenger and obey me bois 😌💅🏻

Mystic Messenger MC is Obey Me! MC's sister and she invites the OM MC as well as the demon brothers to her and Saeyoung's wedding!!

(for the sake of lessening confusion, y/n is YOU and mc is the mystic messenger mc (and you can pretend it's you too or an oc i dunno) so let ur imagination run wild!!)

it's also assumed that y/n has already met the rfa, and y/n and mc do not have any other family members. but for some reason i picture that the reception count is large idk maybe all the mystic messenger characters have/made 20 mutual friends each djsksnjs just pretend the reception room is full 😭

also includes one or two spoilers for another story and the main plot for om!

this is long as hell btw dsjkskdjkjd but i separated it into parts + bolded stuff so hopefully it’s not as messy ! enjoy !

when y/n first got news of their sister's engagement, they talked everyone's ears off for WEEKS.

luckily diavolo was like you know what you can go if you take the brothers with you!!!

y/n was scared at first mainly bc um they are demons? and sometimes they act like 7 year olds? but ur like aight bet let's do this!!!!

time skip 2 the day of the wedding

(if ur a gal) y/n's sister made her the maid of honor

(if ur a mans) y/n will be the person walking mc down the aisle

so y/n had to be there fairly early to help with everything as well as get ready for the ceremony and reception

the entire 2nd floor of the nearest hotel to the wedding venue was rented out thanks to jumin !

the brothers took up a total of 2 rooms...lucifer, mammon, and asmo to one room / satan, beel, belphie, and levi to another

lucifer needed to be with mammon and asmo and practically kept them on an invisible leash considering that they have pretty bad self restraint in terms of their sin

but jumin also had to pull some strings to get the ceremony at a space station...hip hip hooray

the station said it was strictly only immediate family though, so the ceremony was just mc, saeyoung, y/n, jaehee (only bridesmaid/maid of honor if y/n is a boy), saeran, yoosung, jumin, zen, and v

saeyoung is in awe as he watches mc walk down the aisle...hes dreamed of this moment his entire life!

who would have known they'd actually manage to get married in a space station?? :')

after saying their vows, mc and saeyoung kissy kiss and all is HAPPY

idk how weddings work in terms of scheduling so let us simply time skip to the reception

the brothers pull up skrrt earlier than most guests but they arent the first ones to arrive

cue mammon, levi, and asmo arguing over where y/n should sit

satan interrupts and clarifies that y/n will be sitting at the head table with their sister. they r salty

oKAY UHHH time to start the reception!!

y/n and zen duetting???? beauty and the beast????? as they escort mc and saeyoung in for their slow dance???? YES PLEASE

like in the style of ariana grande and john legend

when the brothers see y/n as they sing the first line of the song they ! almost ! combust !

mc and saeyoung slow dance to the song and everyone has tears in their eyes. yoosung is crying into saeran's arms as saeran holds back tears. jaehee is crying bc she and y/n coordinated the entire thing and shes happy but also feeling stressed.

dinner is buffet style, and lucifer's attention and energy is now directed toward beel. this is a formal human event and not one of diavolo's parties where people are used to him hogging everything down...

but y/n was smart enough to help get the brothers' table to be seated next to the buffet so after all the other tables get their food beel could secretly go ham

the first interaction between rfa and the brothers happen between lucifer and v

v could see that lucifer was kinda struggling and decided to check in on him before checking in on the other guests

they end up talking a lot. mostly about how they both lied to their respective squads to try to protect them from the truth

lucifer of course tones the story down and doesnt give away that they r demons, though

y/n saw levi all pissy alone at the table so they grabbed yoosung and introduced him to levi. they were awkward at first but once yoosung mentioned LOLOL levi was all ears and they bonded over different games

y/n stays a bit to make sure levi doesnt reveal anything sus

meanwhile, asmo is flirting with zen. complimenting his singing from earlier as well as his rat tail

zen mentions that asmo's skin is glistening and the two of them go crazy over different skincare brands

asmo may or may not have accidentally said that he uses a lamb blood and aloe vera mixture yes i just made that up which confused zen but zen's reaction further confused asmo until asmo remembered !! im in the human world

so he played it off as a joke and told zen that he shouldnt furrow his eyebrows much otherwise he'll wrinkle quicker

as saeran walks to the ice cream station next to the buffet he sees beel holding an entire tray of fish with a suspicious looking belphie standing next to him

when belphie and saeran lock eyes the energy in that corner of the room turns so dark that you could see storm clouds forming over them : ◉ ∧ ◉ : ╏

anyway jaehee, like v, was checking in with the guests when she spots mammon investigating a gold doorknob

mammon nearly shits himself when jaehee taps him on the back and asks him if he is okay

satan compliments elizabeth the third when he sees jumin petting her on the balcony. they talk about cats for a while and jumin tells satan that he enjoys the company of another man elizabeth deems worthy to be in her presence

by the end of the night

everyone is helping with cleaning up the ballroom after all the other guests have gone

jumin thinks that beel is cool, since he ate all the food provided as well as the mochi party favors

mammon volunteers to take home all of the extra centerpieces and decorations. before lucifer says no, mc and seven tell mammon hes more than welcome to take them all home. it would just sit in their house and collect dust, anyway

when everyone is back in their hotel room (y/n stays with jaehee for the night so mc and saeyoung can get it on) yoosung invites levi to play some games with him in his room

zen shares a room with yoosung and eagerly watches the two boys playing

asmo needs to follow his sleeping schedule so he peacefully goes to sleep while dreaming of not-so-appropriate things. he’ll be back on his bullshit tomorrow

lucifer is trying to help mammon figure out a way to organize all the freebies he got to prevent all of it from falling everywhere when they go back to devildom. he also sets a centerpiece aside for diavolo to keep. cute!

belphie is knocked out and so is beel (food coma)

satan stays with jumin for a bit, wanting to be around elizabeth the third a bit longer, then returns to his room around 2am. he sees that levi isn’t back in the room and texts for him to return soon.

bonus!

mc and saeyoung are <3333333′ing

unfortunately y/n and jaehee can hear it, as well as v since their rooms sandwich mc and saeyoung’s

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its-bound-to-get-loud · 3 years

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Ashton Irwin is not straight: a masterpost

It’s been a while since I’ve written a masterpost, but I’ve been meaning to get back into it for a while now. Giving a voice to some of my personal ideas is the main reason to start this blog in the first place. I’ve made a similar post about Michael several months ago. I can highly recommend checking that one out as well. This one will probably be a bit shorter than that one, since Michael has been banging on that closet door a ton, while Ashton is a little more subtle.

Before you continue reading, a quick disclaimer. If the idea that Ashton may not be straight makes you uncomfortable. Please do not continue reading. However, if you have an open mind and are willing to entertain other ideas than your own or if you share my ideas (based on the title) you are more than welcome to continue.

Finally, I’m asking you. Please, under no circumstance ever show my posts to any of the guys or people close to them. The posts that I make are meant for fandom discussion only. You can share them with friends, you can talk about them, just do not share them with the guys or the people around them. Also, I will not be publicly speculating about what label (sexuality) the guys may identify as. This is something very personal and it’s up to them to decide how they want to or don’t want to identify as. However, I do believe that at least Ashton, Luke and Michael are not straight. I haven’t completely made up my mind about Calum, but I think there are definitely certain signs that he may not be straight. I’m aware that a lot of people believe in Cashton as a couple. Personally at the moment I’m posting this I do not believe they are (or were) a couple. I understand why people think they are dating, I have seen plenty of Cashton evidence, but nothing has absolutely convinced me so far. They are super cute and I absolutely ship them though, I would love nothing more than to be wrong about this. Now that we have gotten all of that out of the way, let’s get to the reasons I think Ashton is not straight,

I do not have as many reasons for Ashton not being straight as I do for Michael, who has been incredibly vocal about not being straight. Ashton however has thrown a few hints out there and I am receiving them loud and clear. For me the first thing that pointed me towards Ashton not being straight sounds a bit vague. It was his demeanor, the way he acts, the way he carries himself. Ashton is very flamboyant in the way he acts. You know how you see someone you don’t know, but instantly know they’re not straight because of the way they behave? That’s exactly what I see when I look at Ashton. It’s hard to put into words, but if you don’t know what I mean I highly suggest googling the definition of flamboyant, I’d say it fits quite well with Ashton. Now I know this is very much a stereotype and not everyone who is flamboyant is gay* and vice versa, so this doesn’t make what I say a fact (unless Ashton comes out and says he’s not straight, this whole post is speculation). But those stereotypes do exist for a reason, they may not apply to everyone, but they do exist for some.

* I’m using gay as an umbrella term here, I don’t mean to imply he is only into guys. Simply that he is not straight.

“Girl and/or boy”

The following moment of the guys explaining what Don’t Stop is about can be interpreted in many ways. It starts with Luke saying the song is about a girl at a party, that everyone wants to take home to “hang out” with. Then after some further talk at 0:53 Ashton says “It’s just about a girl who everyone wants at a party basically. And/or boy”. Now this can be interpreted as a girl seeing a boy at a party who she likes. It could be a general statement that some boys aren’t (just) interested in girls, but (also) in boys and he’s trying to be inclusive. Which is not out of character for Ashton I’d say. It could also be a little more personal. Maybe meaning that he might not (just) be interested in girls. Personally I think it might be a combination, it’s a blanket statement that leaves plenty of room for plausible deniability, should there ever be a need for further explanation.

“I don’t wanna tug any of ya”

The fact that nobody is talking about this at all is at least surprising. I get that the interview is a few years old, but even in the comments I don’t see anything about it. At 2:19 the interviewer asks them who would win in a tug of war competition between 1D and 5SOS. After some back and forth talk, their answer nears an ending, but not before Ashton jokes “I don’t wanna tug any of ya” at 2:36 and letting out an adorable giggle. Michael doesn’t seem to take notice of what Ashton is saying. However Luke and Calum definitely get it. Now if there was any doubt about what Ashton would mean by tug. Just take a look at the Urban Dictionary. So Ashton jokes he doesn’t want to tug any of his bandmates. Does that mean he would like to tug someone else perhaps? This may have been a simple teenage joke and nothing else, but I think it’s important to at least take notice of.

“It’s not a guy”

This moment is honestly iconic, I don’t know what else to say. In this video they get asked some random stuff such as “first band you saw live” and in this case “favorite hometown spot”. 20 seconds into this video and Ashton does a shout out to Frankie’s in Sydney. Which is all fine, but what follows is where it really gets interesting. He says “spent way too much time in you”. This could just be a bit of unfortunate phrasing, sometimes our brain to mouth filter works in weird ways. Then Luke feels the need to add “it’s a rock bar”. This smells like damage control to me. They could have just laughed it off and made it into a joke. I mean, Ashton says a lot of ridiculous stuff at times, so this wouldn’t even be that much out of character. Ashton however must’ve felt defiant that day, because he decides to add fuel to the fire by saying “it’s not a guy”. Then he smirks while looking off camera. He is well aware of what he’s saying and I 100% believe he saw an opportunity and took it. Also a special shout out to Calum’s face after Ashton said “it’s not a guy”. Also, the fact that he says guy and not girl is something to take notice of. Now in all truthfulness, if he’d said girl it would have sounded rather gross and I probably would have to scold him myself. But I’d say Frankie is an androgynous name that doesn’t stereotypically belong to any specific gender.

“Boys, boys, boys”

5SOS reads thirst tweets is iconic as a whole, but one of my favorite moments is “boys, boys, boys”. It starts with Ashton reading the tweet, followed by Luke going “you can’t say boys like that”. Ashton being Ashton doesn’t like being told what to do, so he decided to be extra and repeat himself a couple of times. Now this may just be Ashton being defiant. But there is an extra added layer to what he says and how he says it. The way he says it is just so flamboyant, the way he stares into the camera he knows what he’s saying.

“If Walls Could Talk”

There is a reason I called my blog its-bound-to-get-loud and the reason is obviously this song. The moment I realized what the lyrics to this song were I had to look them up, cause it sounded a lot like a closeting song to me. After reading the lyrics that thought was solidified in my brain. I have written an extensive analysis of the whole song together with R. If you want to know more about our interpretation of the song, read our analysis here.

This has been my masterpost about Ashton not being straight. As always, this post is speculation based on my personal opinions. I hope it brought some new ideas to people who maybe didn’t think of this before. I’d love to hear your reaction if you have read this. You don’t have to agree with me, as long as we can have a friendly conversation about our differences I’d say we’re good. If you liked this post, please reblog it so other can read it as well. Tumblr absolutely sucks in getting my posts to show up in the search results and I don’t have a ton of followers either. So any reblogs are very welcome. A big thank you @full-of-lonely-people and @ashtons-ass for proofreading this for me. Your effort is very much appreciated!

#5 Seconds of Summer #5SOS #Ashton Irwin #Cashton #original #masterpost

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everydisneymovie · 4 years

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Review #38: The Light in the Forest

Post #42

8/4/2020

Next up is 1958′s The Light in the Forest

Enjoyment : [1]

Watching this movie feels like pissing blood. Watching it actively gave me a throbbing headache I was so furious with it. There is almost nothing enjoyable about this garbage and I actively think lesser of people who defend it. The issue is that the entire premise of the movie is racist and hateful so you can never get on board with the story unless you are also racist and hateful. The story is about a boy named True Son who was adopted by a tribe of Native Americans. Due to a treaty he is forced to return to his biological family where is then tortured and brainwashed until he finally acts ‘white enough’ for their approval. Even if True Son is ethnically white, he was raised by a loving Native family and this movie acts like none of that matters. From the first frame the moral of this movie is “The Races don’t mix, stay with your own kind” and it boils my brain to try and think why Disney thought this was ok.

Quality : [1]

The filmmaking is fine. Camera, lighting, sets, costumes, it probably would have gotten a 4 if the plot was anything other than the shit show it turned out to be. Because the writing is so unbelievably hateful this movie gets a 1. The reason this devalues the quality of the movie as a whole, is that the way scenes are structured is now fundamentally flawed. The writing tries to frame the racist white cultists as villains, but then also does nothing to refute them. The racist villains say something racist, True Son looks sad, and the film moves on like there is nothing else to be said. You can’t possibly write likable character when they are just awful from start to finish. Besides some musical stings, there is nothing behind the camera to display that these racists are wrong, if anything I think the framing supports their arguments and it ends up ruining everything.

Hold up : [0]

The second ever 0 given on this blog, and boy does this movie deserve it. I have already gone over how hateful the core premise is. A ‘respectable white family’ tries to ‘tame a savage native’ because ‘this is where he belongs!’ It is lazy, stupid and spiteful writing. However, what makes this movie truly awful is the ‘both sides!’ angle it tries to push and utterly fails at. The opening scene has the Native chieftain arguing with a British general. The Chieftain says that the British troops have been raping and killing men, women and children that were not part of any war party, to which the general snaps “Yeah but they only killed the civilians because they were scared of facing your savage warriors.” and then they just moves on like that was a fair answer to those accusations. You cannot compare the violence the Natives committed against the Pioneers to the violence the Pioneers committed against the Natives. One side was an invading army and the other was made up of civilians defending their home. Whenever a scene tries to ‘both-sides’ the argument it just sounds like “Why do the people we keep killing say they don’t want us to kill them? That’s so rude of them!” Fuck off movie this is pathetic and you know it. This movie is also truly horrible in its depiction of adoptive families. Despite the fact that True Sons Native family knew him most of his life and provided nothing but stability, the movie frames his racist, abusive biological family as his ‘true family’ since being related by blood trumps everything else. Like honestly fuck that, adopted families ARE real families regardless of race. On a final absurd note, as if this movie couldn’t get any worse, the final conflict revolves around True Son fighting his uncle, who has been shown to not only be a racist murderer, but also an attempted rapist. And yet, True Son explicitly states he is going to fight his Uncle not because he is evil, but because “he wants to prove his is a white man and wants to earn his respect.” Yeah I am sure the respect of a monster like that is really that important to True Son. Go rot in hell Disney.

Risk : [2]

This movie is once again drenched in the sloppy discharge of American Exceptionalism and Manifest Destiny. I have already gone into detail about how horrible the ‘both-sides’ argument is since it paints the past as an inevitable conflict where the genocide of the Natives was just an unfortunate side effect. The only reason this movie doesn’t get a lower score in terms of risk, is that there WAS actually some attempt to humanize the Natives. They are shown to have complex inner lives and for the most part True Son remains steadfast in his refusal to give up his upbringing. He still ends up ‘turning white’ by the end but his determination made him the only likable character. Even though it was handled poorly, this movie actually acknowledged the existence of the Native genocide rather than painting over it like Westward Ho, The Wagons! did.

Extra Credit : [2]

There was one scene that actually was fun to watch. After True Son has been pushed around by his awful family for most of the movie, he is reunited with one of his Native cousins and it is genuinely joyful. The two wrestle and run around laughing, just happy to be in each others company. It made me smile and I hate that it didn’t lead into True Son going home to be with the family that actually loves him. If this movie had the balls to pick a side, this could have been a really wonderful moment, but spoilers: It wasn’t.

Final thoughts:

This is easily the worst movie on this list so far. Worse than the true life documentaries and worse than Peter Pan. It has been a long time since I sat through a movie that I could describe as ‘genuinely hateful.’ You get the feeling that the people who made this movie actually hated Native Americans and set out to intentionally demonize another race. I didn’t even get around to talking about the bland love interest who ‘fixes’ True Son with love because as we all know the best way to cure racism is good old fashioned heterosexual marriage. The best way to sum up this movie is with this simple fact. The main characters name is True Son, but his biological parents want to call him “Johnny” The scene were he meets his biological mother for the first time, instead of hugging, or getting to know each other, the mother simply says. “Your name is Johnny, you won’t leave this room until you say your name and act like a civilized gentleman.” Her concerns are not about True Sons mental wellbeing or safety, she just wants him to act ‘white’ so SHE is comfortable. There is ZERO love between them and yet the movie frames this like a heartfelt reunion between long lost family. After this scene, no one calls him True Son anymore, not even his love interest. They all call him Johnny and it has the same vibe as a someone getting dead-named over and over until they finally submit. I hate this movie and what is worse, I don’t think this will be the worst movie I’ll watch by the end of this project. God help me, this movie took years off my life. If I have to watch something this bad again I will dig up Walt myself and beat his zombie ass senseless.

Total Score: 6/50

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Edit: I would like to make a minor note about this movie. It is implied through dialogue that True Son was not adopted by kidnapped by the Native Americans. Which does make his biological families desire to bring him home understandable... HOWEVER: The way the movie is shot and written, it is clear that True Son is happy and treated as an equal while in the tribe, and he is emotionally abused the moment he is brought into the white town. While he was not adopted in the text of the movie, it is clear that the movie frames and interprets True Son as an adopted child being ‘saved’ by his biological family. Either way Disney did a crappy job with this movie.

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inevitably-johnlocked · 4 years

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do u have a fic list of BAMF john getting kidnapped?

Hey Nonny!

Ahh, I’ve quite a few Kidnapping fics!

Kidnapping, Hostage, & Stalking

Kidnapping, Hostage & Stalking Pt. 2

KIDNAPPING, HOSTAGE & STALKING Pt. 3

Booted by Sexxica (E, 1,175 w., 1 Ch. || Trapped, Kidnapping, Handcuffs, Biting Kink, Blow Jobs, Coming in Pants, Tight Spaces, Humour, Smut, 69 Sex Position, BJ’s Through Pants) – John and Sherlock have been kidnapped, handcuffed, and stuffed together in a car boot. How come they can never take these situations seriously? Part 3 of the Tumblr Ficlets Gone Wild

Imminent by LoyalPaddler (K+, 1,187 w., 1 Ch. || Kidnapping, Open Ending) – What did it say about a person if he recognized the feeling of waking up concussed, blindfolded, and handcuffed to a chair? Probably not good, that.

Coming Full Circle by KCS (K+, 2,358 w., 1 Ch. || Alternate TGG, Friendship, Drama, Violence/Death References, Drugging/Poisoning, Kidnapping, BAMF John, Moriarty POV, Introspection) – Moriarty had John for almost six hours between his abduction and the showdown at the pool - more than enough time to implement a Plan B for his escape should Sherlock call his bluff with the fake bomb vest.

The Hours Before Midnight by Lady Sam Mallory (T, 7,773 w., 1 Ch. || TGG Fic, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Torture / John Whump, Kidnapping, Drugging, Alternating POV, Worried / Protective Sherlock) – Moriarty doesn't play fair. John must deal with hours of torment from Moriarty before going to meet Sherlock at the Pool at the end of the Great Game and Sherlock must deal with the consequences of his boredom.

Victim, Bait, Hero, Friend by KimberlyTheOwl (T, 7,887 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TGG Epilogue, Angst, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Past Kidnapping / Torture / Implied Rape, Panic Attacks, Worried / Possessive Sherlock, Lestrade is a Good Friend) – Some insights into why John was perfectly willing to throw everything away for a chance to kill Moriarty at the pool. Trauma, ugliness, and finally healing. Some nice supporting work by Lestrade as well.

The Five Stages of Mourning, Plus One by SunnyRea (T, 10,557 w., 1 Ch. || MCD, Pining / Grieving Sherlock, URT, Heavy Angst, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Drug Use, Graphic Death, Depression, Unhappy Ending) – Sherlock did not want this, did not want another stalemate with John in the middle, a gun in Jim's hand. This cannot have happened without a sign. There has to be something he missed anything which said today is the day I kill for real.

The Palmyra Atoll by elwinglyre (E, 16,609 w., 3 Ch. || TSo3 Divergence / Episode Fix-It, Stockholm Syndrome, Kidnapped John Watson, John Whump, Evil Mary, Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Toplock, Limited 3rd John POV) – As John's preparing for the wedding, Sherlock is preparing to have his heart broken, and Mary is prepared to do the unthinkable. Intervention required. Enter Sherlock. Set before Sign of Three with a far different outcome. John is drugged, kidnapped, and left on an island, but not just any old island.

Between Friends by SilentAuror (E, 18,036 w., 1 Ch. || Post S3, Alternating POV, Friends to Lovers, John in Denial, Abduction, Awkward Situations / Miscommunications, Porn With Feels, Blowjobs, Pining, Unrequited, Angst With Happy Ending) – Sherlock gets abducted. As John discovers him tied up naked in an empty storage facility and comes to rescue him, Sherlock's body has an unfortunate reaction which triggers a series of events. John is convinced that everything will be fine as long as they never discuss it. Sherlock isn't as sure...

Hellfire by testosterone_tea (E, 28,596 w., 9 Ch. || Fantasy / Magic / Mages / Elementals AU || Mage Sherlock, Elemental John, Developing Relationship, Torture, Powerful / BAMF John, POV Alternating, Dark / Blood Magic, UST, First Kiss) – Sherlock is a Mage that gets involved with a case involving Dark Summoning rituals, leading him to John Watson, a man with Berserker blood. The only thing is, Berserkers have been extinct for centuries. And of course, nothing involving Mycroft and his interfering ways is ever simple. This time, even Sherlock may have bitten off more than he can chew.

Inscrutable to the Last by DiscordantWords (M, 48,842 w., 6 Ch. || Post-TRF, Alternate S3, John’s Blog/S3 is a Story By John, Divorce, Marital Difficulties, John is a Mess, Emotional Reunion, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Grief / Mourning, Pining John, First Kiss, Adorably Clueless Sherlock, Nostalgia, Love Confessions, Eventual Happy Ending) – He wasn't Sherlock, he couldn't work miracles. All he'd ever been able to do was write about them.

The Thing Is by TSylvestris (E, 56,743 w., 21 Ch. || Case Fic, Dev. Rel., Anal/Oral, Blow Jobs, Meddling Mycroft, Drama, Romance, Humour, Casual Encounters, Pining Idiots, Possessive Sherlock, Orgasm Delay, Rough / Alley Sex, Public Sex, John Whump, Drugged John, Emotional Love Making, Awkward Relationship, Marriage of Convenience, Switchlock) – The problem with living with Sherlock, John thought, was that you never, never, ever knew the significance of anything. Like your flatmate's nose buried in your hair. Whilst you're in bed. Part 1 of Nitroglycerine

Hell Sent, Heaven Bound by ConsultingHound (M, 64,381 w, 16 Ch. || Angels / Demons AU || Fallen Angel Sherlock / Angel Cop John, Alternate First Meeting, Slow Burn, Case Fic, John & Lestrade are Friends Before Sherlock, BAMF John, Mind Palace John, Friends to Lovers, John in Denial, Sherlock Picks Out John’s Clothing, Clubbing / Dancing, Mildly Jealous John, Awkwardness, Kidnapping, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Sacrifice, Worried / Anxious Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Immortal to Mortal) – Ex-War healer and current angelic guard John Watson is not having the best day. He overslept, he’s underpaid, and now there’s someone tagging the Council’s building walls. However things may be about to get interesting: there’s an unusual stranger hanging around (the definition of tall, dark, and handsome), a literal underground cult is brewing, and rumblings are coming from hell. Can he keep his neighbourhood safe, how and why is he being connected to all this, and who the hell is Sherlock Holmes?

Being John Watson-ish by elwinglyre (E, 69,902 w., 17 Ch. || Bodysnatcher AU || Author John, Cranky Sherlock, Angst, Sexual Tension, First Kiss / Time, Falling in Love, BAMF John, Past Soldier John, Feelings, Inside Someone’s Brain, Shy Sherlock, Sherlock Loves John, POV Sherlock, Switchlock, Slow Burn, Internal Dialogue, Mental Turmoil) – When consulting detective Sherlock Holmes steps on one toe too many at a crime scene, he's consigned to a desk job in an archaic office on the seventh-and-a-half floor of the New Scotland Yard. It’s in this bleak office that Sherlock discovers a portal into the mind of renowned author John Watson. Grander than his mind palace, this new wonderland affords Sherlock new vistas of experimentation. To learn more about the mystery behind the portal, Sherlock seeks out and befriends Watson. But then it all goes wrong when others find the secret portal door—including the man whose brain he visits.

Not Broken, Just Bent by Schmiezi (E, 87,585 w., 43 Ch. || Pining, Love Confessions, Rape/Sexual Assault, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Villain!Mary, Suicidal Ideations, Main Character Death, Sherlock First Person POV, Parentlock, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Grief/Mourning, Emotional Love Making, Possessiveness, Depression, PTSD, Kidnapping, Virgin Sherlock, Eventual Happy Ending) – "For a second, I allow myself to remember teaching John how to waltz. There is a special room in my mind palace for it. A big one, with a proper parquet dance floor. For a second, I go there. I remember holding him, closer than the World Dance Council asks for, excusing it with the fact that we are training for a wedding, not for a competition. For a second, I feel his hand on mine again, smell his sweat, hear the song we used. For a second, I allow myself to love him deeply. For a second, only a second, that love reflects on my face." Fix-it for S3, starting at the end of TSoT. Evil Mary.

The Cost of a Wish by slashscribe (E, 102,493 w., 12 Ch. || xxxHolic Fusion || Spirits / Ghosts and Magic, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Soul Mates / Fated Lovers, Adventure, Immortal Sherlock, Powerful John, POV John, Frottage, Wish Granting, Angst with Happy Ending, Nightmares) – John has been plagued by a secret his entire life that has made him feel hopeless until he meets a mysterious, seemingly omniscient man named Sherlock Holmes who owns a wish-granting shop. Their meeting sets off a series of inevitable events that will change the course of both of their lives forever.

Two Two One Bravo Baker by abundantlyqueer (E, 114,574 w., 27 Ch. || Military AU || Afghanistan, War Story, Thriller, Switchlock, Rimming, Emotional Lovemaking, Lots of Sex, HJ/BJ’s) – Captain John Watson of 40 Commando, the Royal Marines, is assigned to protect and assist Sherlock Holmes as he investigates what appears to be a simple war atrocity in Afghanistan. An intense attraction ignites between the two men as they uncover a conspiracy that threatens everything they’ve ever known, but Sherlock is as much hunted as hunter, and everyone close to him is in deadly danger. Can he solve the case in time to save himself and John? Part 1 of Two Two One Bravo Baker Universe

A Further Sea by i_ship_an_armada & ShinySherlock (E, 125,492 w., 23 Ch.|| Historical Pirates AU || Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Doctor John / Pirate Captain Sherlock, Sailing, UST / RST, Masturbation, Action / Adventure, Mild Angst & Peril, Romance, Shaving, Molly/Janine, Bottomlock, Past Drug Use, Slow Burn, Mild Violence, Happy Ending) – Here be a tale of adventure for both body and soul, but beware if ye be not of stout heart, for this be piratelock, ya savvy? Luckless ship's surgeon John Watson takes a chance, and finds himself eye to eye with The Ghost, the scourge of the seven seas and a definite thorn in the side of the blaggard, James Moriarty. But when John finds there's more to this most cunning pirate than be meetin' the eye, he has to choose... is it a pirate's life for him?

Free Falling by twistedthicket1 (M, 203,574 w., 38 Ch. || Guardian Angels AU || Guardian Angel John, Fluff and Angst, Humour, Kidlock / Teenlock, Light Mystrade, Passage of Time, Possessive John, Drug Use / Overdose, Victor Trevor, Graphic Bullying, Big Brother Mycroft, Hard Drug Use, Depression, Possessive Sherlock, Possessive John, Panic Attacks, Nightmares/PTSD, Pining, Healing Abilities, Kidnapping, Violence, Torture, Blow Jobs, Virgin John, Emotional Development / Attachment, Mortality, Happy Ending) – All Guardian angels are born with a Chosen human. When this child is born, the angel comes into being to protect and care for them during their life on Earth. For John Watson, all he cares about in the world revolves around his Chosen, Sherlock Holmes. Watching him grow up though, the angel soon learns that God must have had a sense of humour the day he decided to make Sherlock, as trouble seems to follow him like a magnet wherever he goes. John can't decide what's worse, the idea of losing his Chosen one, or the fact that he may be breaking the most taboo law of heaven as he disguises himself as a human to better protect and befriend the beloved detective he's always watched from afar. He was meant to care for him. But what happens when caring evolves into something more? What happens when an emotion an angel is supposed to be incapable of possessing comes to life suddenly and viciously inside John's chest?

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #kidnapping fics #bamf john #Anonymous #my fic recs #fic rec sunday

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what-is-your-plan-today · 4 years

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CSI: Rogers and Barnes- The Serious Cereal Serial Killer

Episode 5- Defrosting

Co written with @icanfeelastormbrewing

Episode Summary: So nothing like the possibly one time love of your life being hurt to make you realise that actually, you might just care a little bit… Episode Warnings: Bad Language words.

Episode Pairings: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark (The Ice Queen is thawing…)

Song for Episode: For What It’s Worth by Liam Gallagher

A/N: This entire series contains dark humour (CSI + Brooklyn 99=CSI Steeb) Avengers and Stark Spangled Banner Easter Eggs and jokes. You don’t need to have read the SSB series to understand or enjoy this, but we’ve used the Universe to spin this off from so somethings might puzzle a few of you if you ain’t, but feel free to ask.

Also, our knowledge of American Policing and Brooklyn is limited, so bear with us if we slip up, but at the end of the day this is a fiction so we’ll claim any mistakes as creative license!!

As always we live for re-blogs and comments

CSI Rogers and Barnes Master List

Main Masterlist

“I’m so sorry for your loss…” Bucky bowed his head as he stood next to Steve’s mom.

She dropped her eyes to the floor taking a deep breath.

“I’m alive, jerk.” Steve shot back from where he lay on the hospital bed.

“I was talking about the car, punk.” Bucky shrugged “Or the beard. Man you look like 12 years old without it.” “Not like I had a choice.” Steve grimaced pointing to the line of stitches in the corner of his mouth “And is my car really totalled?” Bucky grimaced and nodded “Fraid it looks that way.” “Shit.”

“Language.” Sarah looked at her son. “Steve, it’s just a heap of metal…”

“No, no bad move, he loved that metal.” Bucky shook his head.

“He should be grateful he is getting away wit cuts and bruising.” Sarah narrowed her eyes “Could have been a hell of a lot worse, he’s been in an out of consciousness for almost 5 hours! I mean what was that idiot doing running the light?”

“It happens Ma.” Steve said gently “He’ll get dealt with.” He rubbed his shoulder which felt a little stiff and then looked up as the Doctor that had been looking after him returned.

“Ok Mr Rogers…your recent scan results show there’s nothing going on with your brain…” Bucky sniggered and Sarah slapped him around the back of the head. “Owww.” he said, reaching up to rub at his hair.

“So if you have someone at home with you, I’m happy you can be discharged.”

“I’ll keep an eye on him for the rest of the evening” Bucky nodded. The Doctor smiled and set about sorting out the forms and in a little while they were making their way, albeit slowly, out of the hospital.

Steve was grateful to his ma and Bucky for getting him home. Once his mother had stopped fussing as much as she could do she finally left with the promise of returning in a few hours and Steve went straight to his bed after popping a few painkillers. He was lucky, it was bruising more than anything, and a few stitches to his face where the glass from the car windows had cut him but all in all nothing too drastic.

He couldn’t help but think back to the last time he’d been injured enough to land him in hospital. They’d been on a drugs bust down town and had gotten separated, and thanks to a catastrophic coms failure he had been ambushed by 6 of the gang at once. He’d managed to get the upper hand at one point until someone had crashed him straight round the back of the head with a piece of wood. Thankfully, it hadn’t been too serious and Katie, Natasha and Clint had stormed in a few seconds later and it was all locked down. Katie had been by his side in the hospital for hours until Peggy had turned up and dismissed her, rather curtly actually. Katie had bitten her tongue and simply left with no fuss, and he and Peggy had ended up having a huge argument.

“I’m your girlfriend, Steven, not her.” Peggy crossed her arms and glared at him as she sat in the chair. “It’s ridiculous how much she hangs around you.” “Peggy, for god’s sake.” he groaned “She came in the ambulance with me!”

“Why not Clint, or Natasha?”

“Oh, you know what, I don’t want to do this now. My head hurts and, well, frankly I’m sick of having the same discussion. She’s my best friend.” “She wants to be more than your friend Steve.” Peggy sighed “Ever since her and Ward split she’s been hanging around like a bad smell.” “She needs support.” Steve shook his head

“She has a brother and god knows how many friends.” Peggy shook her head “But you were the one she called to help her kick Grant out, you changed all her locks…”

“Peg, she’s hurting, and I’m not gonna turn my back on her. She wouldn’t do it to me.” “Bet she can’t wait to get me out of the way.” Peggy sniffed, pursing her lips. “Soon as I’m off to London you mark my words…” “Oh stop being ridiculous.” Steve closed his eyes “Katie wouldn’t do that. And I wouldn’t do it to you either, you know that.” Oh the irony. In the end it had been Peggy that had done it to him. She’d departed to London for the 6 month placement, and they’d both agreed to stay together, what was 6 months after all when you wanted to spend the rest of your life with someone and they wanted to spend the rest of theirs with you?

Or you thought they did. Less than a month later he had received the message, telling him that it wasn’t working, that she thought he was a burden and a tie to a life she wasn’t sure she wanted anymore. He’d tried calling, even debated getting a flight over to speak to her face to face but she’d point blank refused to even consider it, telling him if he turned up she wouldn’t see him.

So it had ended and he and Katie had navigated their heartbreak together. In bars, taking weekend trips upstate, hiking…anything that took their mind off things. And he dare say now, in hindsight, that it had brought them even closer. He understood now that he and Peggy were never going to make it. They were too different. Peggy was practical, realistic, stoic in every area of her life whereas Steve, whilst all those things when he needed to be, also had a softer side, showed his emotions, wore his heart on his sleeve.

Like Katie.

Breaking up with Peggy at the time had killed Steve, but now he realised that it was for the best. But he also knew that it had really tainted his views of relationships in general, even almost a year or so down the line. And the only person he had been close to since he had pushed away.

With a groan he lay back on his pillow and closed his eyes, thankfully the codeine did its job and he slipped into a dreamless, painless sleep.

****

“Guys…” Bucky said loudly over the chatter in the briefing room. Everyone turned their attention to the front and he noticed a few puzzled glances. It wasn’t unusual for a Sergeant to take the mid-morning briefing in any other Precinct, but it was unusual in the 101. Steve liked to see his troops in the morning, he felt it was only fair. “Captain Rogers won’t be in today, and probably not for a little while. He was involved in a car accident last night and…” “An accident?” Wanda spluttered out. “Is he ok?”

“He’s fine. The car that hit his wasn’t travelling that fast it just unfortunately hit the driver’s side. They checked him over at the hospital and decided he was good to go home late last night, or earlier this morning even. Few cuts and bruises, no doubt some injured pride and his car most certainly isn’t ok but…he’s good, just needs to rest.” He couldn’t help but glance at Katie who was looking down at the table as she bit at her thumbnail. Her brow was furrowed and he could see in her face she was concerned but trying not to show it. Bucky didn’t say anything, simply carved up the duties. Whilst the murder investigation was taking most of the resource, there were still the other crimes to cope with and as such he ended up sending Clintasha to go and speak to the victim of a mugging. But for him and Stark, the morning was slow, real slow. She had already called through to Peralta and arranged for them both to head over there the next morning once he had been able to pull the files from the archive but until they didn’t have much else to go on.

“I just hope looking at the old case throws something up.” Katie said, looking at him “Because if not, we’re dead in the water. No leads, nothing…”

“Let’s worry about that tomorrow.” Bucky said. “Look, why don’t you finish for the day? There’s really nothing we can do now.”

“I just got a few bits to tidy up and then I might do, thanks.” she looked back at her screen.

Bucky kept one eye on her as he continued clearing the admin from his inbox, and he could see that she was grappling with something.

“Have you errr…spoken to Captain Rogers?” she asked a few minutes later. Smiling to himself, Bucky looked up.

“Careful, Stark!” Bucky smiled “You almost sound like you care.”

She scowled, “I’m not a completely heartless bitch.”

“I never said you were…”

“Just because I hate him doesn’t mean I want him hurt…”

At that, Bucky almost fist pumped the air when he realised that actually this could work in Steve’s favour somewhat.

“You don’t hate him.” he said, matter of factly, looking at Katie. “You hate what he did, but you don’t hate him. And that’s what you find so hard to take about this entire situation.”

She paused, open mouthed for a moment, before she snapped her jaw shut and folded her arms, glaring at him. “What are you my therapist now?”

“No, just someone who the pair of you are starting to really piss off…” he sighed and ran a hand dramatically through his hair “Did you ever stop to consider exactly why Steve did what he did?” “Because he’s an ass hole.” Katie said, “He got what he wanted and then…”

“You and I both know that’s bullshit doll face.” Bucky said “He’s never been one for one night stands. Had a few at Uni but, well, frankly he always told me he hated it, but that’s not the point…the point is he cared about you…”

“Funny way of showing it…” “…and he did what he did because he thought, in his stupid pea brain, that it was for the best.” “The best?” Katie snorted “he thought bailing on me, and ghosting me was for the best?” “If you two had made a go of things, one of you would have had to move, and it would most likely have been you because Captain vacancies are harder to find…” “Yeah, I kinda figured that we’d have to do something about the chain of command, but, for fucks sake, I was contemplating going to DC…we could have sorted this, made it work!”

“I get it, I do…but this is Steve we’re talking about!” Bucky chuckled with affection, he was a dumbass but he was still his best friend. “The guy is an idiot when it comes to women and very rarely lets his heart rule his head…but with you he did. And that shows me just how much you mean to him.”

Katie looked down at her hands, her fingers were twisting around one another. After a little while she looked up and shook her head “That doesn’t make what he did ok.” “No, and I’m not trying to make excuses for him.” Bucky said gently “Just trying to give you the explanation you’re not allowing him to give to you himself.”

Katie turned away from him and wiped at her eyes. Bucky was tactful enough to look away whilst she composed herself.

“If you wanna go and check in on him I know he’d appreciate it.” he said, sowing the seeds of the idea in her mind. “Just think about it.”

She shrugged, but there was a definite softer expression on her face as she turned back to her computer.

About half an hour later Bucky came back from the bathroom to find her gone. Tacked to his monitor was a post-it note.

“Thought about it…thanks Buck.” “Don’t blow it Punk…” he mumbled to himself as he re-read the note before scrunching it up and throwing it in the bin, a huge smile playing on his face as he laced his fingers behind his head, swinging his feet up onto his desk.

“What you looking so smug about?” Natasha asked and he looked over to see he was being watched by her and Clint.

“Well…” he said, leaning back in his chair “Seems that the stupid Punk getting t-boned made Katie realise that she actually still cares about him. So Phase 1 of ‘Operation Cap’n Crunch and Special K” is officially underway. Time to prepare Phase 2 Romanoff.”

“Wait, Phase 1 was getting someone to T-bone him?” Natasha looked at Bucky, her mouth open.

“What?” Bucky frowned as Barton looked at him.

“That’s just sick man…” Clint pointed at him before he frowned and looked at Nat “hang on, what plan?” “Oh after I spoke to her yesterday, I talked to Serge and we decided that we’re fed up of the pair of them moping around and pretend hating each other, when they’re both blatantly still head over heels despite their protestations to the contrary.” Nat shrugged “So we came up with a 3 step plan, of which the first phase, I thought, was simply making them talk…”

“Yeah, and I was gonna lock them in a cupboard or his office until they agreed to do so but hey, I’m all for grabbing the moment, right? This worked a treat” Bucky said, grinning at them both.

“So what’s Phase 2?” Clint asked. Natasha arched an eyebrow and grinned at him.

“Wait and see Barton, wait and see.”

Clint blinked, looked at Natasha who now had a devilish grin spreading across her face an then back to Bucky who was smirking into his coffee cup.

“Man I love you guys!” Clint said with a small laugh as he leaned back in his chair.

***** “Ma for the last time stop fussing…” Steve looked at his mom as she set a mug of coffee down on the table in front of him.

“I’m your mother, Steven…” she looked at him. “It’s my job to fuss. Now, what do you fancy for dinner?” He was just about to tell her he was capable of dialling a pizza when he heard the key in the lock and glanced at his watch, frowning. It was early for Bucky to be home.

“Buck?” he questioned. But the reply wasn’t what he was expecting, or who he was expecting for that matter.

“No, it’s errr, me.”

Steve looked at his mother whose face had lit up at the sound of Katie’s voice and he pushed himself up of the sofa, hissing a the bite of pain in his side and turned to see her stepping nervously into the living room.

“How did…” he asked and she looked at him, sheepishly, holding up her keys.

“Never did give it you back.” she said softly. He watched as her eyes travelled over the bruising and cuts on his face and her brow furrowed somewhat as she swallowed thickly and continued “Thought you might have changed the locks, you know like you did for me when I threw Grant out.” “Not really the same thing.” he said with a soft smile. “But I’m surprised you kept it.” “It was on my keyring.” she said, shrugging “I kinda forgot about it, should have mailed it to you or something…” Steve could tell that wasn’t the truth. There’s no way she would have forgotten about it, but he didn’t pick her up on her white lie. The fact she had kept it made him slightly hopeful she wasn’t quite as ready to give up on him as she made out.

“Hi Sarah…” she said in a small voice, her gaze turning to his ma.

“Oh my little star…” Sarah hurried over to give her a warm hug before she held her at arms length “Let me look at you…I love the hair!” “It’s grown a little.” Katie smiled, running her hand through her hair, the longer side was now an inch or so below her chin.

“How have you been?” Sarah pressed.

“Oh, you know…” she shrugged “Ok.”

Sarah smiled at her and then over at Steve before she nodded. “Well I was just about to head out to the store to pick something up for tonight.” “Ma, I told you…” “And I told you to shut up.” She shot him a look “Does carbonara suit?”

Steve sighed “Yeah, that’s great…” “Ok, so, I’ll be back in a little while…” she said, rushing for her purse.

“Hang on I’ll get my wallet…” Steve made to move and she shook her head

“I don’t want or need your money.” she said sternly. Again he rolled his eyes and noticed a smile on Katie’s face.

His ma made to hug her again “If you’re not here when I get back, you best stop by some time…oh, did he give you your pie the other night?”

“He did and it was amazing as always!” Katie smiled, giving her another hug “And I will, I promise.” With that his mom left them alone, and once the door was shut Katie turned back to him and looked him up and down as she raised an eyebrow “You look like you got in a fight with a bus.” “Not quite, it was a chevvy Blazer.” he said, chuckling slightly at her joke.

“How are you feeling?” “I’m ok, just a bit sore. Be fine in a few days.” She nodded “Ok, well, that’s all I wanted to check…when Bucky said you’d been hurt I just…” she trailed off, taking a deep breath before she sighed, “God why is this so awkward?”

Steve gave her a soft smile “Because I fucked it up?” She gave a soft huff of a laugh.

“Do you want a drink?” he offered “Ma just made a fresh pot of coffee so…” “I err, I don’t…” she looked at her watch, biting her lip. Steve could tell she was searching for a reason to say no so he decided to put her out of her misery.

“It’s fine, honestly.” he said, “You don’t have to make excuses not to stay. I appreciate you popping in.” She licked her lips and looked at him, her green eyes searching his before she smiled softly “Coffee’s great, you stay where you are. I’ll get it.”

“Everything’s in the same place…” he said softly and she nodded. But she didn’t move straight away. Instead he noticed her eyes flickering to the space by the TV where the photo of the two of them used to be.

“It’s in the bedroom.” he said. She looked at him, blushing slightly that she’d been caught but didn’t try and deny what she’d been thinking.

“I’m not gonna lie, my copy is in a drawer.” she replied quietly “I couldn’t bring myself to throw it away but…” She swallowed and headed into the kitchen. He slowly sat back down and he heard her clinking about before she emerged with a mug. She placed it on the coffee table, removing her keys and phone from her pocket before she tossed those just to the left of her mug and took a seat on the sofa, picking up her drink and cradling it in both hands, the way she always did when she was seeking comfort.

“Has the station fallen to pieces yet?” Steve asked and she snorted.

“Not quite.” she smiled “To be honest it’s a bit slow. Oh, erm, I’m going to see Peralta tomorrow with Bucky, dig through the files on the old rape case. I know it’s just a hunch but something feels off.” “Well your instincts have never failed you before.” Steve smiled gently.

She smiled and shrugged “Who knows?” “Stop it.” Steve said.

“Stop what?” She frowned

“Doubting yourself.”

“I’m not.” “Yes you are I can tell. You always do it.” “No I don’t.” Steve chuckled and then winced at the pain in his side “Yes you do. And you’ve no reason to. You’re a damned good detective.”

She took a sip from her drink and looked down before she opened her mouth as if to say something but then closed it. She took a deep breath and swallowed, her eyes remaining on the floor.

“Use your words Doll.” he said, softly.

“I don’t want another argument.” she said quietly. “It doesn’t matter…” “Katie.” he urged, his voice almost stern.

“I just… “ she licked her lips “I was just thinking that, well, I can’t remember the last time we did this, you know, drank coffee in your lounge.” “I can tell you exactly when it was.” he said “It was the morning of the Christmas party. About 12 hours before I sent everything sideways.”

She looked at him, before she looked away and Steve felt a pang in his chest that was totally unrelated to his accident. He yearned for her, longed for the way things used to be before he’d fucked it all up.

“I never thought you would be the man that I cried myself to sleep over.” she said so quietly he almost missed it.

As she placed the mug back on the coffee table Steve took a shaky breath “It wasn’t easy for me either you know?” he looked at her, blinking back his own tears “I hurt too.” “Yes but you did it to yourself Steve!” she said, running her hands over her face

“You think I don’t know that?” he said, his voice a little louder “If I could change it, go back and do it differently I would but I can’t…”

“Bucky told me why you did it, that it was your stupid idea of being noble.” she cut him off, her voice soft as she shook her head “Frankly I’ve never heard anything as ridiculous in my life…all that stuff and panic about getting involved in someone in your chain of command…Steve, I had had feelings for you for a long time before that, do you think for one second that I never considered what it would mean? Fuck, I’d just told you I was considering the DC move, I’d have been well out of your chain then!”

“I should have talked to you, I get that…I do” he pressed “I was an idiot and I panicked and then I didn’t want anything to stop you moving or getting in your way and tying you back here..”

“You thought I’d do a Peggy?” she looked at him, frowning, as if she was understanding something for the first time, which in fairness she probably was. “That I’d move and things would end”

He didn’t reply, he knew that one look in his eyes would be enough to tell her. She always knew.

“Steve, what Peggy did was cruel. The way she left and then ended it, calling you a burden and a tie she didn’t need…I’d never have done that.”

“I know.” he said softly “I wasn’t thinking.”

“No, you weren’t.” She shook her head before she spoke again, her voice cracking slightly. “You know what the worst thing about all this is?”

One look at her was enough to tell him she was struggling to keep herself controlled, he could see from the way her chest was heaving and she was stuttering for words.

“I can’t hate you.” she shrugged “No matter how much I try, and believe me I tried, I just can’t. I wanted so hard not to care when Bucky told me you’d been hurt, but all I could think about was making sure you were ok.”

She stopped for a moment and took a deep breath as her tears began to fall. She looked up and he saw her before him, as utterly broken as he had ever seen her. Her face crumpled and she stuttered to him. “I miss you. I miss my best friend.” With that he felt a tear slide out of his own eye and he moved from his chair onto the sofa besides her, pulling her to him, ignoring the aches and pains in his battered body. She didn’t shy away, instead she pressed her face into his chest, her arms linking round his waist at the back as his hands gently slid up and down her back, soothing her as he had done so many times before.

“I’m sorry.” he managed to stutter “I really am…I never wanted to hurt you sweetheart, I swear…”

He pulled her tighter to him and then instantly winced as the pain in his ribs. She pulled back straight away and looked at him.

“Steve…”

He felt a little light headed then, and it must have shown as she frowned a little.

“Hey, you look really pale.” she said, concern etched across her pretty face “Don’t pass out on me…” “I’m fine, honestly…” he protested. “When was the last time you ate?”

“I errr…” he shrugged, scrunching his eyes shut. “Yesterday, some point. Mac and Cheese.” “You made Mac and Cheese?” she said as a twitch in the corner of her mouth grew into a small smile. “Sorta, well, opened the box…”

“Mac and cheese, from a box.” the smile went and she looked horrified “Steven that is disgusting. I showed you like a million times how to make it properly.” “Yeah well it never comes out as well as yours so…” he blinked again and took a deep breath. No, he definitely felt dizzy.

“You need to lie down.” she said, standing up.

“I’m fine…” he protested, but she wasn’t fooled. She never was fooled by his bullshit. “Stop being a stubborn asshole and do as you’re told.” she said sternly as she grabbed a throw cushion and positioned it against the arm of the sofa. “Go on.” she patted it gently and he slowly moved himself backwards, laying his head where she told him.

“Just need to close my eyes for a moment…” he muttered, and he did.

************

Steve blinked and stirred a bit. He was tired and his ribcage ached. He opened one of his eyes and saw Katie sitting on the armchair beside the couch, her shoes discarded and her legs tucked underneath her as she was reading something on her phone. A warm feeling filled his chest and he closed his eye and smiled at the thought that she was still there, looking after him, keeping him company even though he was sure she’d rather be anywhere else. She had said earlier she had missed him, she had missed her best friend. If only they could go back to the way they were. He was snapped from his thoughts by the sound of keys in the door before it opened, shut and his mother’s shoes tapped down the hallway.

“Shhhh” he heard and opened one eye again, ever so slightly, to see Katie moving her right index finger to her lips and pointing her head at him, where he lay on the couch holding onto a yellow cushion for dear life.

“Is he asleep?” Sarah asked in a hushed voice.

“Apparently” Katie answered, and he didn’t miss the fond look she shot his way. “He was feeling dizzy and I forced him to lie down and rest. I didn’t want to leave him alone so I thought I’d wait for you or Bucky to come back.” she added as if trying to excuse herself for being there.

“Good. Thanks for looking after him.” the old woman smiled at her fondly. And then Steve decided he should make them aware he was awake.

“I wasn’t dizzy.” Steve suddenly said with a hoarse voice. He rubbed his eyes and tried to sit up so fast all his body was in pain and he grimaced again.

“Steven!” Sarah scolded him. “Be careful, love. Have you taken your painkillers?”

“Yes ma.” he answered. “Took them before you left.”

She nodded and smiled at her son and then turned to Katie “And you, my dear, are having Carbonara with us this evening?”

"Sarah, I don’t want….” Katie started but Sarah cut her off.

“I wasn’t asking Star.” she said “It’s the least I can do after you looked after this mad driver I have for a son. Besides, you’re helping me fix it, we have a lot to catch up on.”

“Wait Ma! I’ll help you with those” Steve said as his mother turned to head for the kitchen, taking a shopping bag in each hand.

“No. Stay put. I’m perfectly able to do it myself, Stevie. You rest until dinner’s ready.” she refused her son’s offer.

Katie stood up and sighed. “I’ll better go help her.” she said before smiling at him and ruffling the hair on the top of his head softly, and God that was a balm to his soul. Such a familiar action she had done so many times before, but yet never had it felt so significant as it did then. The ghost of a grin threatened to spread on his face at her show of affection but it was quickly turned into a grimace as she tugged on the longer locks at the top of his head.

“Ouch!” he exclaimed and Katie, who was heading for the kitchen turned to look at him and grinned.

“Serves you well for letting them shave you.”

“I was kind of unconscious so I didn’t have much of a choice” he looked at her “And besides, they had to stitch my lip.” he shrugged innocently.

“Whatever.” she said over her shoulder walking towards the kitchen.

Steve leant against the back of the sofa, closed his eyes and let out a contented sigh. Was it him or was the ice queen beginning to thaw?

He must have dozed off again, but that stupid grin was clearly on his face as he was jerked back to the here and now by another voice about 15 minutes later.

“Are you high?” he heard Bucky ask him. Steve opened his eyes to see a smug smile on his friend’s face who was examining the packet of painkillers the doctors had prescribed him.

“Jerk.”

“I love you too, honey.” Bucky grinned at him and frowned when he heard the two female laughs coming from the kitchen.

“Is that…?” Bucky asked squinting his eyes at Steve and he nodded.

“She came by this afternoon. Ma invited her for dinner.” he said.

“Well, this is getting interesting.” Bucky smirked, tossing the packet of painkillers down onto the table “Very interesting indeed.”

Steve didn’t miss the cunning smile on his friend’s face as he turned and headed for the kitchen.

“Buck.” Steve warned him, but Bucky was already gone. He came back a few minutes later drinking a beer and sat sprawled on the armchair beside the couch and Steve cast a longing look at the bottle.

“Don’t even think of it.” he said mocking Steve’s captain voice “You’re not allowed to drink a single drop of alcohol on those things.”

Steve groaned took the TV remote and started channel-hopping until he found a film that caught his attention.

“Why does Superman wear a cape? I don’t get it. What’s with making superheroes look like idiots with those spangly tight outfits?” Bucky began to rant but Steve ignored him.

Bucky side eyed him for a moment, before he smirked to himself. “Sooo. I guess you and your girl are on better terms now, seeing as she still hasn’t torn your head off.”

“She’s not…”

“Your girl. Hmmm, yet you wanted to punch me in the face for buying her lunch.” Bucky finished for him. “You’re smiling, just saying pal.” he added pointing at him with his beer bottle before turning to the TV screen again. But as he gave Steve another side glance, he could see the blonde was smiling again.

Twenty minutes later Katie emerged from the kitchen cleaning her hands with a tea towel.

“Dinner will be ready in five, so move your asses and help me lay the table.” she said standing in front of the TV screen, hands on the buckle of her belt.

“Yes, Mrs. Captain.” Bucky sat up mocking a salute.

Kate shot him a glare and both turned to watch as Steve was struggling to stand up from the couch with a pained expression to no avail.

“Here, hold on to us.” Bucky offered reaching one of his arms out for Steve to hold at the same time Katie approached the coach and offered hers. But they couldn’t lift his weight.

“Come on, man. Are you on our team?” Bucky asked between gritted teeth.

“Just represent. Pull!” Steve bit back. And with that they were able to lift the Captain’s weight and haul him upright.

“Are you ok? Are you still dizzy?” Katie asked Steve while she rubbed his arm.

“I’m fine, doll. Thanks.”

Bucky flinched waiting for Katie’s outburst at the pet name, but when nothing came he just raised an eyebrow at the pair but they were too busy looking at one another to notice him. He just smiled, shaking his head. He had to remember to text Romanoff later.

“Ok, pal. Lean on me, I’ll walk you to the dining room.” Bucky said ducking under Steve’s armpit and putting his friend arm over his shoulder while holding his waist with his free hand. “We are your sidekicks after all.”

“Yeah, just like Mulder and Scully you two.” Steve scoffed.

“Thought it was Cagney and Lacey?” Katie, who was walking ahead of them, turned to quip.

Soon after the table was ready and Sarah had finished fixing a salad to go with the Carbonara. She passed the bowl to Katie who placed it at the centre of the table and all four sat to enjoy the food. But as Bucky was about to take a breadstick Sarah slapped his hand.

“What’s with people slapping my hands?” Bucky protested

“Have you washed your hands, young man?” Sarah asked. "God only knows where you’ve been and what you’ve been doing.”

“Or who.” Katie muttered under his breath and shared a smile with Steve who was sitting opposite her. He grinned back.

“Yes, I did ma'am.” Bucky answered, taking the breadstick from the bread basket and biting it unceremoniously.

“Are you going to tell us where you’ve been all day?” Steve asked looking at him while he helped himself to some salad.

“Playing Captain Dickhead.” he quipped.

Sarah, who had just stood up to go find a pitcher of water, smacked him on the back of his head.

“Language!” the old lady said and Katie couldn’t help but snigger.

“Ouch!” Bucky dropped the fork on the plate and rubbed the back of his head as he looked at Steve “Doing your job, buddy. Which I must say I did beautifully.” he added with a smug smile.

“Well, he didn’t burn the station down.” Katie shrugged.

“Chasing the bad guys. Looking after your herd.” Bucky continued.

“We’re not goats.” Katie scoffed.

“That is debatable, honey.” Bucky said pointing at her with his fork and Steve smiled at the bickering between the two. “And I met a friend later.” he added casually.

“Oh, anyone nice?” Sarah asked excitedly as she returned with the water.

“Don’t encourage him Ma.” Steve shook his head.

“You could say that.” he looked at Sarah smiling before adding “Name’s Sammy, we’re not a thing yet.”

Steve saw Katie stop eating and try to catch Bucky’s eye but he was avoiding her purposefully. After a second or two she gave in and stood up.

“I’ll fetch the Carbonara, pass me your plates.” she said holding out her hand at Bucky and looking at him intently. He shot her another passive look, but there was a faint tinge of red in his cheeks and as Steve watched Katie smirked, knowingly, before she collected the other plates.

“Thanks, sweetheart.” Sarah said to Katie as she headed to the kitchen. “And James, make sure you treat your dame right.” he said looking at him before raising an eyebrow at her son.

“Will do.” Bucky said looking at the woman at the same time he reached for his water glass.

“You’re not a thing? Yet?” Steve asked Bucky leaning an arm on the back of the chair to look at him directly.

“Nope.” he replied, not wanting to go into many details.

“But you could be?”

Bucky shrugged.

“What are you waiting for?” Katie asked placing a pasta plate in front of Sarah.

“Just leave him alone.” Sarah said patting Katie’s hand. Katie shrugged and dropped another plate in front of Bucky before returning for her and Steve’s.

“Thifif delishos” Bucky grunted with his mouth full of food.

“Thank you, I guess. Did you mean the food was delicious?” Sarah laughed and Bucky nodded.

“It is good, thanks.” Steve said, nodding appreciatively.

“It should be after feeding on mac and cheese from a box. Did you know that?” Katie asked Sarah, who nodded resigned and shook her head.

“What’s wrong with box mac and cheese?” Bucky looked up.

“What’s wrong with it? It’s disgusting!” Katie said, affronted.

“Katie cooks the best Mac and cheese you’d ever taste.” Steve told Bucky before he shot her a wink as he refilled her glass with water.

“Thanks, Stevie.” she smiled back softly.

Bucky couldn’t help but grin. “STEVIE?” he mouthed to Sarah who nodded at him, smiling knowingly.

For Steve it was like he had been taken back to before everything went wrong. Sitting with his Mom, Katie, eating dinner…with the addition of Bucky this time. It was nice. The 4 of them ate, chatting, there was no arguing, no frosty moments. Ok, it wasn’t as easy as it had been once upon a time but still, this was progress. And he wasn’t taking it for granted.

Eventually his mother announced it was late and that she should be going. Much to Steve’s disappointment, Katie checked her watch and nodded in agreement.

“I’ll walk down with you Sarah.” Katie said “Tony’s already bitching about me treating his place like a hotel. If I’m much later home he’ll probably threaten to Ground me or something…”

Bucky and Steve both sniggered as Sarah looked at Katie.

“If he’s annoying you that much you can always come stay with me love.” she said and Katie grinned.

“You’d feed me that much apple pie and banana bread I’d be the size of a house.” “Well you do look like you need feeding up….have you been eating properly in DC?” “Ma stop it.” Steve sighed as Katie laughed.

“I’m promise you I eat as much now as I always have.” she assured the woman as they both stood up. “As you’ve just seen. I look like I’m having a food baby.”

Bucky and Steve both rose along with them, Bucky hugging Katie whilst Steve gave his mom a squeeze.

“Don’t blow this…” she hissed into his ear.

“I’ll try not to.” he replied gently.

She stepped back and Steve turned to Katie. Bucky and Sarah were tactful enough to move away to the door, talking loudly to give them some space.

“Think the polar ice caps are melting…” Bucky mumbled to Sarah who smiled as she watched Katie slip her arms round Steve’s waist.

“None so blind as those who will not see.” Sarah mused back.

“Aint that the truth…” Bucky said.

As her arms connected at the base of his back, the familiar fit of her body against his made Steve close his eyes as he gently hugged her back, dropping an affectionate kiss to the crown of her head as he always had done.

“Thank you.” he said softly, “for coming round and…” “It’s ok.” she said, she stepped back and licked her lips and took a deep breath “Look, Steve, I can’t promise everything can go back to like it was before but…maybe we can move forward right?”

“Forward’s good for me doll.” he assured her.

She smiled and turned towards the door. “See you tomorrow Bucky.” “Yeah later Doll Face…” he said to her retreating back.

The two men watched as she paused momentarily, took a deep breath before she held up her right hand and flipped him off over her shoulder, without so much as a look back.

Bucky let out a bark of a laugh and Steve chuckled as the door shut.

@the-omni-princess @momobaby227 @geekofmanythings16 @angelofhell-666 @thewackywriter @marvelfansworld @cobalt-gear @asgardlover75 @jennmurawski13 @jtargaryen18 @saiyanprincessswanie @navispalace @patzammit @joannaliceevans-fanficblog @djeniiscorner @ayamenimthiriel @coldmuffinbanditshoe @disneylovingal @madzmilllz @sgtjaamesbaarnes @sweater-daddiesdumbdork @southerngracela @goldenfightergir @kellymat @official-and-unstable-satan @charmed-asylum @pagesoflauren

#csi rogers and barnes #csi au #steve rogers x original female character #steve rogers x oc #steve rogers #bucky barnes #natasha romanoff #clint barton #wanda maximoff #tony stark #sam wilson #thor odinson #bruce banner

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skelffricat · 3 years

Text

Good grief, Charlie Brown.

I’ve never owned an electric toothbrush. I’ve never had a dishwasher. I am the dishwasher. I like washing dishes. I never bought an iron. I don’t have a hairdryer. I find it strange that I get advertised these reusable alternatives for things that I never use anyway. Alternatives to cling film. I put another plate over the dish. Alternatives to cotton buds. I use my finger. (Ew, you may say, but surely a finger’s that size to fit in ears and nostrils? Or whatever orifice you please. Wash your hawnds.) Alternatives to cotton wool circles. What? I dont know why these thoughts have come into my head, when I want to write about my youngest child. Really, I’m meant to be working, but an annoying email from my dead daughter’s school sent me down a suicide rabbithole. Perhaps those other thoughts come about as my classic brain avoidance schemes. Like when you hoover instead of doing an essay. Positive procrastination, I used to call it. I wanted to visit some friends last night- a fun thing! but I was feeling all solitary and awkward. I cleaned the bathroom ceiling at first, instead! I had to really talk myself into going to see them. I was looking at my bed and it was saying, “Get into me! and read your book!”

Then I went, and I had a lovely time, of course. I still finished the book I was reading, when I got home at midnight, until three am, making myself ever so tired. I’ve stopped taking the tablets- beta blockers and mirtazapine (more by accident rather than design. They’re still up in the chemist waiting for me. I’m rather disorganised) and so sleep doesn’t come as readily. I have to take deep breaths for ages sometimes, to get over. And I awake in the night hearing things that aren’t there. I heard The Woodcarver calling me, one night, plain and loud as day. Another time, I heard my son knocking my door three times, sharply (or was it a burglar? I said that to someone and they laughed. Burglars don’t knock! Oh, hello there, wake up, I’m robbing you blind!) Bounced out of bed. Heart hammering. Called him. He was fast asleep. Was it her ghost? I don’t believe in ghosts, really. Kind of wish I did. She’d be a mischievous one, no doubt. Is it always 5:57am, when I awake? The same time. Time to find your dead child.

I’m often in the house alone, now. They didn’t want to leave me alone, and there were so many people in the house, for ages. Then all of a sudden, it stopped. And I changed lovers... I changed to the one I’d been in love with for over a year, the one who seemed too young, the one who wasn’t interested. Suddenly he was interested. Well. It wasn’t sudden. It took a few weeks. Seven weeks? The seven week itch? It coincided with when the Scottish lover asked me to stop letting other people come to the house. He wanted me to himself. Which is kind of fair enough, though I knew it wouldn’t last anyway. (People coming to my house, I mean, not the relationship. I really enjoyed having a relationship with him. He is very sweet, funny, intelligent, and kind. The sex was great. He can cook wonderful food and play guitar well. I liked to sing with him. I am ashamed to say I was bothered by his being smaller than me, though. His face tended to itch me, too- he never quite grew a beard long enough to stop that. As he kept shaving it off, not because he couldn’t. That was the first time he kind of annoyed me, though.)

Lockdown doesn’t help, of course. We were all breaking rules in our grief. Covid is cancelled, my mother said. Masks off. Hugs all round. A friend told me you need extra oxytocin when you’re grieving. I was getting plenty of it. Good grief...

Now I am frequently alone, and as my new lover is very busy studying (or perhaps less interested in me again now that he has my attention back? Though his reticence in getting with me stemmed from his concerns about the uneven nature of our interest in each other...) I haven’t seen him all week. I feel myself becoming depressed, and withdrawn, and paranoid, yet I still don't feel particularly sad about my daughter’s death. Which is strange. Isn’t it? Here is the email I received from her school this morning (it had her name and class at the top of the email):

“Good morning

I hope this email finds you all well.

A number of years ago I signed the college up to the campaign against period poverty. I receive and distribute sanitary products to girls, primarily on free school meals, but any who are in need of the products and either can’t afford them or it is difficult to get them. The products are normally distributed by myself, during P.E and games, unfortunately this can’t happen at present.

These products are still available during the school closure. If you wish to avail of them, please contact our school info account (which is only read by one member of office staff) your request will be directed to me and I will contact you directly regarding collection.

These are difficult times for many at present and to quote my favourite supermarket, ‘every little helps’.

Kind regards...”

I was really with her until she quoted Tesco. And said they were her favourite!! Ugh! I mean, it really is a great idea. Though they really should check if the people they are writing about are still capable of bleeding. My heart bleeds....

I replied thus:

“Hello there.

Great idea, but as (my youngest daughter) has died, she won't be needing them any more. I hate Tesco- they ruin many little businesses.

Maybe take me off this mailing list?”

Then I attached one of her seven suicide notes: the one for school. Which I had previously not shown them. I only found it on Christmas Eve. Can I attach it, here? It has no names...

There we are. Is it wrong of me to find her notes amusing? She is so angry, people say. I wonder how much of it is literal, and how much of it is using the school as a big nameless scapegoat. She was funny in the rest of them, too, and very loving. I found them comforting, like a fucked up Christmas present.

Then I started reading articles about suicide, and they were about how we shouldn’t call the people who do it selfish, about how depressed they are, how they need pity, not anger. I’m tired of the pity (though I’m not the suicidal one). I’m not producing enough sadness from myself when people pity me, either. Where is my sadness? Am I too acceptant of it all? We are all going to die. Is suicide like a C-section? Is it cheating death, like I thought my Caesareans cheated birth? Is suicide self euthanasia? Why do I not miss my daughter more? Is it because she had already left? Was she released, happy, free as a bird, swooping away on an Awfully Big Adventure? Trapezing her way into the æther? I googled to see if I could find any positive reactions to suicide. Is this my nature, to try and find the good in everything? To try and make light of the horrific? Is everything a joke to me?

I found this blog post, from Andreas Moser.

I love it. Am I trying to take the blame away from myself? The NHS? The school? Should I be reeling and railing against the systems that let my daughter get into that state? Why am I instead trying to find ways to applaud her behaviour, accept it, even enjoy it?! When I read his words, “I admire their courage (because logical as it may be, it’s not easy) and the determination to make the ultimate decision in life oneself.” I felt a strange sensation of relief, that someone else could think those things. I had been thinking them, but trying not to, because it seemed like such an awful thing to think. But then I think, why does anyone else have to be to blame? It was her decision.

The book I was rereading is called Life After Life, by Kate Atkinson. It’s my favourite book, I have decided, for now. Do favourites stay favourites? I was looking at my old Couchsurfing Profile today (because of Andreas’ blog- he, as a hippy hermit, is, of course, on Couchsurfing). One needs to update these every so often. Explain that you have watched another film in the last twenty years, that there is one less sofa in your living room, one less child on your earth. Even though no-one is allowed to move around, really. No visiting. No exploring. Perhaps she killed herself to escape the boredom.

In Life After Life, the main character, Ursula, lives again and again. (I forgot that to live again and again, she had to die again and again. It's a very sad and graphic book, spanning two wars- read it. It is, ultimately, uplifting.) I wanted to read it again to make my daughter live again, and again. We need to write her alive. Show her drawings and paintings. Listen to her songs (they're hilarious). Read her poems. Admire her photographs. Tell the stories of her antics.

I know that really she was actually depressed and withdrawn. I know it isn’t a glorious escape. That her wee head was broken, and that sometimes it’s just easier to say, it was unfixable, she was determined, this is what she wanted, than to contemplate it as my (or anyone else’s) failure to help her. I know that she used to be confident and gregarious. She would have danced in front of people, inspiring others. She was always upside-down, tumbling, twirling, cartwheeling. She had a dry, cheeky wit, and rather an amusing obsession with poo and wee. She was kind, and wise. She liked to bake vegan treats. She could draw, and paint, and sing so beautifully. She played the ukelele, but by then she was hiding away. She had started to write poems- songs? She wouldn’t show us them. We had to beg her to perform on the trapeze for her Granny’s eightieth, in July. She did so, beautifully, but you could tell she hated the attention. Four months later, she hanged herself on it.

Had we all withdrawn into ourselves, this 2020? Was there really nothing else to do? Yet I remember the start of Lockdown seeming idyllic. All that free time, all that sunshine. Was I just trying to convince myself, as usual? The only people we saw were the Woodcarver and the neighbours. She taught the wee boy next door to ride his unicycle. When she died, he brought in a picture he had drawn, of them on their unicycles, she as an angel above herself, a rainbow arcing over the three figures. His sadness affected me. I felt like I could only be sad through other people. Where is my sadness? Where is my grief? Good grief, bad grief, no grief? Alternatives to grief.

#teenagesuicide #goodgrief #badgrief

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