#crime boss!iron bros
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So hey long time no see, just popping in to say that this video by Official_TVC is bullshit.
So summary + thoughts:
Video starts off with defintions on different types of stalking & they say Vivienne has experienced all this kind of stalking. Then goes on to say its 2 individuals doing this stalking and they we the viewer doesn't need to know them, Official_TVC has done a lot of research on them and we should should trust Official & their word without evidence because apparently they retweeted something on twitter & it was a tumblr post thats supposedly exposed Vivienne's siblings, personal things ect. All this is hearsay by you, it shouldn't make the average viewer trust your word. Yes I've seen things but that was from posts I've seen.
Aside -honestly Official should be questioning the anon asks we get on here, some of the asks contain some questionable info like how do you get that info. People get asks on here containing info, people don't go out & hunt all Vivienne's private life, we receive stuff thats how things come to light, OTHER PEOPLE SEND US STUFF.
All the background of the video is helluva boss/hazbin scenes coupled with music from respective shows. No evidence, not even heavily censored evidence to protect Vivienne, just Official_TVC talking & basically saying "trust me bro I did research, believe me". This is heinous accusations, individuals you are talking about & you give nothing. It could be lies for all people know, I don't even believe & I've seen the things you're referring to.
Continued, the stalkers, the 1st one is a "troll" according to Official_TVC & the second is supposedly so bad they were quote " has been 15 ft from vivziepop", no backing on that 15ft statement, Official_TVC just states this. All this stalking, entire pages made is because of a ship. Leaking show stuff (aside again, is GIVEN TO US VIA ANONYMOUS ASKS).
They carry on to say essentially all this hate talk on Viv on YT is cos she's popular, they got nothing of meaning to say on Viv cos they hate her so much they can't talk about her positively. They then mention a person has a never ending stream that just feeds misinformation other YouTubers & quote "on the precipice of wanting to strangle a woman (Viv) who made the crime of making demons gay". Wtf does that mean, who has this never ending stream of feeding misinformation to other YouTube, who & wtf are you talking about.
Anyway, goes on to compare spindlehorse workplace allegations to Amazon (yes ironic) & how Amazon treats its workers really bad... do I need to say more. Goes on to say everyone ragged on Viv because hazbin hotel is on Amazon, Amazon is bad & quote by Official_TVC is cos "everyone looks for an excuse to hate". Ok now I'm giving evidence on why people ragged on Viv for prime since you give jackshit.
Amazon/prime is currently being boycotted, its on the bds list why people were saying to pirate hazbin. Not some bullshit reason Official gave on it being mindless hate. Here is a video explaining why people are boycotting Amazon:
Vivienne also like this post from a fan, do I need to spell out how fucking disgusting this tweet is and the fact that she liked it.
Official carrys on to say stalker 1 did 3 things, doxxed Vivienne, & in their words if you go to said person's page Official states "im pretty sure they know where vivziepop lives". That is speculation, thats your opinion cos no evidence is provided or can be for that matter cos this is what YOU think. Dropping as Official says "nuggets" of info on Viv's siblings University, their work (this info was from a sibling's linked in page, public info). Can I say aside, I know her sibling's names. Why, not from stalking but from them leaving comments on Viv's speeddraws and Viv publicly naming them on her PUBLIC socials. And if you know someone's name you can easily find out what uni they went to, if you know my name & search me up you know what uni I go to its in the public on their linked in, social posts ect.
They go on to talk about how terrible leaking Viv's shows are, which idgaf. Amazon is a zionist corporation I'm pirating anything of Vivienne. Even invincible which I love, pirated it. Fans should too (since I see a lot of fans with free palastine in bio but still pay for prime). Anyway thats on them.
TW: talks of sexual harassment. So Official doesn't want to give more info on this individual which I respect & understand. However they say stalker 1 is sexually harrassing this person, sending content of a sexual nature all because the victim in this situation didn't agree with stalker 1 on the stalker's sentiments on hazbin hotel. I understand protecting the victim but my soul you're literally protecting the perpetrator. Expose them, you keep staying stalker 1 & 2 CALL THEM OUT. Protect the victims but expose the perpetrators.
They go on to stalker 2, who know stalker 1. Stalker 2 supposedly went to the hazbin premiere. They were there to keep an eye on vivziepop Official quotes. No evidence of this quote or info just them relaying it. Again this is all your words against what. Yeah that is concerning it really is but substantiate this evidence & quotes. This is the 1st time I'm hearing about this so I would like to know more on this & this heinous person. But you don't give any evidence. Official says " these people need to be stopped", how can they be stopped. You give no names, no info or evidence, its wishful thinking you saying this. I'm harping on and on on about Official gives no evidence but its so flipping frustrating hearing them spout all this WITH NOTHING to back their words.
TW again: Mentions of suicide and Shay a fan bullied by the fandom who then took their own life. Know a lot of people are still saddened by what led to Shay's passing why I mention this.
Official says stalker 1 is using the death of Shay to entice fruther harrassed on Vivienne. Its "apparently now", huskerdust fans went after Shay with heinous harassment & Shay subsequently ended their life, may they rest in peace. Official claims stalker 1 says Vivziepop is directly responsible for Shay's death. Shay's death was worded as "apparently" but stalker 1 using Shay's death to pin it on Vivziepop is stated as a fact. How disgusting can you be someone died & its apparently so to you but your word of mouth should be considered fact, fuck off. Official then goes on to say... sighs quote "we do not hold politicians accountable when they massacre people of other countries... bloodlines don't exist but we don't blame the politicians pushing the buttons".
Ok wtf, yes we do we blame Biden & other politicians & presidents for pushing the figurative & literally buttons on massacring Palestinians & other minorities, WE DO so wtf are you talking about. I honestly hate Official at this point because wtf are they saying. I don't blame vivziepop on Shay's death, even though when there was attempts to reach Vivienne on what was happening to Shay, maybe the channels they used like email didn't get the message across unfortunately. What I absolutely hate is when fans, like official now use Shay's death as a pawn in relation to people hating on Viv. No one that I've see & I'm saying it now I know who these stalker 1 & 2 are not even they were as disgusting as Official & fans to use Shay's death as to further hate on Vivienne. What Official_TVC is saying is bullshit.
And I disregard everything Official_TVC says after they hearted this comment, fuck you Official_TVC for hearting this vile comment.
I link a screenshot of the outreach to Vivienne via email on Shay aswell as the document on Shay's.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vSfCoyn81fp83pycx5eyS4oxryRpFnVnHdEeyEyouigrKSWAZ5iEgTjt7Q63n68S_PcZK7_klB-9dH1/pub
In all this video is a load of nothing, bullshit actually & just vile on the parts of Shay. They ended of once again reiterating they won't give proof because people just want names & evidence for the tea/gossip & they want to protect Vivienne, shoo shoo. Again trust me bro, I did the research so trust me.
I want to reiterate I condone no actions if provided true on stalker 1 or 2. But from what I've seen of them is all out of context, lies spread by the fandom & things just made up down the grapevine. I don't do this for likes, clout or other bullshit the fandom says. Wouldn't be of me on my nature and the work that I do. Come with substantial evidence, then we discuss & make conclusions but for now
...
I hate Vivienne and this fandom, bye all.
#vivziepop critical#helluva boss critical#spindlehorse critical#my post#hazbin hotel critical#helluva boss criticism#helluva boss fandom critical
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Okay, okay so i saw you guys liking the idea of Mafia Brozone au. So i decided give you some more info of it as headcanons + concept.
Imagine a bit different world that we usually expect in trolls. A huge city where small and big creatures live together (Aka Zootopia, i guess???). And one of the most small, but sneaky mafia group was Brozone. Five troll brothers. Elusive and too bold. (They probably took Branch with them just because they needed to babysit him somehow tho. Imagine all of brothers have special suit thingy so they can place Branch in there. ).
After they split up, Branch was left to granny, until some bad guys killed her. He was left to the shelter. There he also meets Poppy that is actually just a lost child. That's how they slowly becoming friends and growing up together.
What for other bros?
Floyd becomes a photographer and just enjoying his calm life. He really didn't have anything close to stuff he used to do. But he can't avoid that he sometimes miss the dangerous adventures.
Clay becomes a teacher in one of the biggest uni's! (University). Also just enjoys his life, learning kids and even got a new (girl)friend - Viva (who's also a teacher.) and very rarely calls to his big brother - Bruce. Clay still accidentally use his talent that he used to use back in days. For example, open a jamming locker with his fist or deftly catch all the sheets of papers that have scattered due to students running around. But he's really trying to hide this. He don't want to be part of it again. (Or does he?)
Bruce is a happy father man. After he left Brozone he kept doing small crimes all alone. Until he got caught but agents. Guess who was the lady boss? Brandi of course. This man fall in love very quickly and decided to let his dark past go and start new life with his love. Later, when they married, they both quit the agents job to rise kids in calm peaceful life. (But you really don't want to mess with any of them, cuz they still pretty good at smashing.) Also! Bruce find a good use to his strength - he becomes a redneck guy, a very good one. And yea, sometimes he calls Clay to hang out somewhere in bar or go for bowling.
And John Dory, of course. How not ironically that was, he becomes a police guy, but not really for long time. He realises that such boring stuff is not for him so he grabbed all his saving (like money ya know) and decides to buy a mini vane to live in far far away from anyone. Also in this AU Rahonda is a puppy. You can imagine some sad back stories where John saves this little girl and adopts it and saying something like:"Looks like you're as lonely as me, huh? That’s okay, now even if we are alone, we have eachother." He and his little girl living by themselves, without any worries, because they both don't need much money to survive. And believe me, John have a damn tonnes of money. He just lost the point of using it so much. Even though he does buy a lot of cute doggy stuff for Rahonda. But he would not tell you about that haha.
The story of it? Viva finds out about her long lost sister being captured. So Viva have to ask Clay very much to help her until all bros slowly get together to rescue Poppy. (Later then find out that Branch was captured too, which will make them even more angry and determined.)
+ a funny bonus for that Viva is good at boxing tho.
#trolls band together#brozone#dreamworks trolls#trolls#trolls 3#trolls clay#clay trolls#trolls fandom#trolls au#bruce trolls#branch trolls#trolls branch#brandi#brandy#brandi trolls#trolls bruce#trolls spruce#spruce#jd trolls#jd#trolls john dory#john dory#floyd trolls#floyd#trolls floyd#viva trolls#trolls viva#viva#poppy trolls#queen poppy
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Wonderful Top 7's: Top 7 Persona 4 and 5 Dungeon Themes!!! (I haven’t played any of the ones before 4 so I’m not counting them. Also, one song per dungeon. Also also, I'm really excited about Persona 3 Reload)
7. Heaven (Persona 4): Is it weird that this song unnerves me? It’s probably that violin at the beginning and the circumstances that it plays in but the whole song kind of gives me that kind of feeling. It’s peaceful, it has a nice vibe, but despite that I still sense the sadness of a little girl telling herself she’s not alone so she doesn’t fall apart.
6. The Whims of Fate (Persona 5): Yup, this definitely sounds like a song that you’d play in a casino. Not just the lyrics that tell of decadence and extravagance covering up deception and lies (at least that’s what Youtube comments tell me) but that free-wheeling funkiness that seems to say “Hey, let’s live it up!” Definitely adds to the atmosphere even when the glitz and glamor isn’t there.
5. The Days When My Mother Was There (Persona 5): What happens when you take some high pitched techno sounds, some drums that sound like you're wandering through a temple, a very somber guitar, and that P5 funkiness? You get this amazing track. I’d elaborate more but I’ve got four more entries.
4. Memory (Persona 4 Golden): Ironically for a track with this name, I completely forgot that it existed (Blame the dungeon it goes with and the late night I played it on). Even so, I really regret my forgetfulness after hearing it again. This is a beautiful piece with both evoking the softness of the fog and snow and the arduous trek you are undertaking to save a friend (or maybe not depending on how you feel about Marie).
3. Secret Base (Persona 4): This theme sounds both like you're heading through a secret science lab and like you're infiltrating a heavily guarded facility as a stylish secret agent. In any case, incredibly fitting along with being super chill with just the right amount of urgency. Utterly brilliant.
2. Price (Persona 5): If you decide to rob a bank (and you really shouldn’t) and you don’t play this theme (which you should), that would be a crime (just like robbing a bank). Those bongos, that guitar, that synthesizer, oh my goodness. This song screams “HEIST!!” and I love it!
1. Freedom & Security (Persona 5): You know what I think of when I hear this song: Oppression. Sadness. The crushing weight of society and your desires slipping away into numbness, part of a cold and endlessly vast eldritch prison complex. The P5 funkiness fights back but the fight is a hard, maybe even an impossible, one. The things this song makes me feel on top of being a stellar piece of music all to itself without a doubt secures its place at #1 (Pun was not intended).
0. Life Will Change (Instrumental & Vocal) (Persona 5): I wasn’t sure if I should count this. I mean it does play during each of P5’s dungeons and the final dungeon but it also didn't feel right to include it with the others because it doesn’t play for a single dungeon….Oh, who am I kidding. THIS IS AWESOME! IT HYPES YOU UP FOR THE BIG SCORE! IT HYPES YOU UP TO TAKE ON CORRUPT SOCIETY! IT HYPES YOU UP TO GET INTO SMASH! IT HYPES YOU UP! LIFE WILL CHANGE IS AMAZING! 10/10! 5 STARS! ZAGAT!
P.S. For the record, the best Persona intro song is Pursuing My True Self, the best battle song is Last Surprise, and the best boss song is a tie between The Almighty and Rivers in the Desert (DON’T MAKE ME CHOOSE!!!)
P.P.S. I wasn't think about spin-offs but if I had to pick a Strikers track, I'd say Welcome to the Jail, specifically the version that plays towards the end. What can I say? It rocks hard.
P.P.P.S. I Believe from Persona 5 Royal is absolutely spectacular but I've already talked about but I'd put it around #0.5.
P.P.P.P.S. Oh and PLEASE ATLUS AND ARC SYSTEM WORKS! GIVE US PERSONA 5 ARENA! JOKER IN SUPER SMASH BROS. DOESN’T COUNT…but thanks for that anyway.
#wonderful#persona#shin megami tensei#persona 4 golden#persona 5 royal#video game music#dungeons#shoji meguro#lyn#shihoko hirata#top 7#life will change#music#songs#atlus#persona 5 arena#please
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I haven’t had chemistry since like 2008, and I’m also an idiot who likes to make my friends upset, so I rated the periodic table in order to tilt my friends:
Hydrogen - this is like your childhood friend who has always been with you more or less and always will be down to get a drink and chill even tho you haven’t spoken in years. Solid bro imo 7.5/10
Helium - always down for a good time, even if probably created Alvin and the Chipmunks which in some places is considered a war crime. 4/10
Lithium - Gives me bitchy vibes and is flammable as fuck if I remember. Skinny bitch with an attitude 3/10
Beryllium - idk this sounds like a sailor moon villain lol for that it can have a 6/10
Boron - more like BORONG amirite ha ha wait no seriously I have no idea lol 5/10 clean neutral rating
Carbon - *screaming* 2/10 I will not be taking questions
Nitrogen - cool cool cool tight tight tight 9/10 Nitrogen just is the cool hot chick you wish you were
Oxygen - kid who takes up all the glory for the group project even tho you did all the work, 4/10 for natural charisma
Fluorine - lol what are you knockoff chlorine lmfao bitch 3/10 reminds me of the dentist
Neon - I can vibe with this boy for his contributions to signs which cause my eyes to scream 8/10 modernized Art Deco thanks you
Sodium - 10/10 this is me and I won’t be taking questions next element
Magnesium - magnesium is a close relative of magnificent and therefore I think the case is closed folks 9/10
Aluminum - 10/10 for providing a home to my Diet Coke addiction I’d be dead without you
Silicon - 6.9/10 :smirk:
Phosphorous - This has a very soundly name and it’s welcome to do that but idk, not a fan, seems like he’d be smelly, 2/10
Sulfur - 1/10 pretty sure that dog farts are purely comprised of this and as such if I was leaving negative ratings I would
Chlorine - 7.8/10 for being in pools so we could swim without brain eating amoeba in the south you a champ
Argon - he seems like a nerd jk this guy has a good color 9/10 for just being himself
Potassium - I hate bananas and this word gives me the physical sensation of biting into one but only by thinking of abstract letters and making them into something which we can nutrientise from bananas and to me that shit is bananas, b a n a n a s — 3/10 for making me sing hollaback girl thru adhd word association
Calcium - hm my brain went to mega milk so you get a 2/10 today bud I don’t make the rules
Scandium - pretty sure this is fake lol what’s next faxdium, e-Mailite and copinium? 5/10
Titanium - this song’s a banger and also is the only thing that lets me wear earrings 10/10
Vanadium - if your erection lasts for longer than like idk it’s supposed to then don’t take vanadium wait what do you mean it’s not an ED treatment 4/10
Chromium - decent bloke shame the browser eats all your memory 5/10
Manganese - if a weeb tries to tell me how to pronounce mayonnaise one more time... 1/10
Iron - excellent tool against the fey, in your blood, what a bro, 10/10 this bitch slaps
Cobalt - has a powerful energy; I respect him. 8/10
Nickel - if I had a nickel for every time someone made this joke lol 5/10 he’s doing his best
Copper - taste bad 3/10
Zinc - isn’t that the dude in the green tunic and white tights who saves premcess Lelda or something lol 7/10 those games are good
Gallium - seems like a prick 4/10
Germanium - sounds like a child pronouncing geraniums which are superior 3/10
Arsenic - bad vibes coach 1/10
Selenium - isn’t this just sailor moon lol 10/10 love this bitch
Bromine - farmine wherever you aremine - 9/10 I love a good bro
Krypton - he’s okay I guess 5/10
Rubidium - yet another Steven universe villain who will be redeemed I imagine 4/10 seems a bit dull
Strontium - I feel nothing when I see this lad’s name and that seems like a shame 1/10 I don’t like it
Yttrium - this is an atrium in Yharnam, or something 8/10 would love to sit in one and make contact with higher beings
Zirconium - oh wait THIS is the sailor moon villain from the dead moon circus! 9/10 I enjoyed that arc
Niobium - seems sassy, I like that in an element 7/10
Molybdenum - I hate this one, rancid. 1/10 for making me have flashbacks to difficult Ancient Greek vocabulary there is no fucking way that sound combination is anything but Beta and Delta borking and then Latin being like oh imma steal that
Technetium - 6/10 decent name but seems a bit forced
Ruthenium - 5/10 kindly old lady element I guess lol
Rhodium - 10/10 this ain’t my first rhodium babee this lad has good vibes what a name what a king
Palladium - 10/10 for making me think of paladins
Silver - 12/10 I’m breaking the rules for this silver is the best it is so cool and also it is the other best tool for dealing with supernatural creatures when iron has failed you highly suggest Even if I am extremely allergic to it going into my ears...wait hold on
Cadmium - 2/10 sounds like a total douche
Indium - 8/10, i just think it’s independent and neat
Tin - 10/10 good ear sounds when involving rain and roof shapes and automatically reminds me of Nora Jones’s come away with me album which is also 10/10
Antimony - 7/10 decent protagonist good name all around seems rad
Tellurium - tell ur mom what? That’s so early 2010s league of legends humor bro 2.5/10
Iodine - strikes fear in my soul from having it poured on my wounds but this is why I have more pain tolerance than god 5.3/10
Xenon - I think this is a declension of Xena warrior princess which is a win in my eyes, 8/10
Caesium - kind of has a cunty Latin name, 4.5/10
Barium - yeah boss, bury’im! 7.5/10 I love a good mobster gag
Lanthanum - A bit pretentious on the Tolkien spectrum sorry bud 3/10 sounds like you’d be the dickwad elf everyone hates
Cerium - 6.5/10 I like this one, gives me a clean vibe
Praseodymium - the fuck who sneezed all their alphabet soup onto the paperwork and called it an element Christ we can’t keep doing this 1.5/10
Neodymium - oh my god what did I just say 1/10
Promethium - thank Christ we’re back to greek 9/10 Prometheus was a Chad I could get behind
Samarium - 5/10 gives me boring wizard vibes
Europium - 4.5/10 don’t rename opium chrissake can’t take these nerds anywhere
Gadolinium - 5/10 it’s a starship knockoff but it’s trying to be bold with the G sound
Terbium - 2/10 I don’t vibe with this one
Dysprosium - sounds like an antidepressant that has a lot of shitty side effects 3/10
Holmium - sounds like someone anxious asking their beloved to hold them 8/10 I like hurt/comfort fics
Erbium - you can’t just describe something as herby you daft bastard 2/10
Thulium - sounds like a spell I like it 8.5/10
Ytterbium - macguffin in a shite sci-fi show that gets highly overrated because BBC produced it and superwholock stans emerge and go utterly feral 1/10
Lutetium - bards are an element I agree 10/10
Hafnium - sounds like a river (my dog) sound and has a cute vibe, I’d offer it head pats 7/10
Tantalum - noooo you can’t be sad yuor so sexe haha 6.9/10 tantalizing
Tungsten - 10/10 this is a lad with history
Rhenium - 5.5/10 it’s ok
Osmium - 4/10 I wasn’t a big wizard of oz fan
Iridium - 9/10 sounds like iridescent and that’s in my top 10 favorite words and concepts
Platinum - 10/10 best Pokémon game
Gold - 7.9/10 all that glitters and all but it’s still pretty on some people, silver is better tho
Mercury - yikes 8/10 so it doesn’t kill me
Thallium - sounds like the brother character in a ps4 exclusive western rpg that oddly falls under the radar in terms of reviews and gets shafted at awards for no reason 7/10 I’ll support you tho
Lead - 2/10 that’s gonna be a no from me dawg pretty sure I still have lead in my hands from stabbing myself with my mechanical pencils
Bismuth - 6/10 sounds good in mouth and reminds me of biscuits for some reason, I’ll take it
Polonium - to thine own self be true so stop trying to act like the arts don’t influence science jk pretty sure this is named for Poland but hey that’s where we get the Witcher so you get a pass 6/10
Astatine - 1/10 I don’t even know what you are
Radon - 7/10 this motherfucker knows his shit and how to party, rad is right
Francium - I bring you francium...and I bring you myrdurdium... 7/10 for a good vine
Radium - killed the video star probably 9/10 I can get behind her
Actinium - as opposed to passtinium I prefer actinium in the voice of writing 8/10
Thorium - overrated Norse god 5/10 because lightning is still cool
Protactinum - sounds like some pretentious condom brand 4/10 wouldn’t do it with a dude who bought these
Uranium - I always thought she was a hot sailor scout 10/10
Neptunium - same for her I knew they weren’t cousins you couldn’t lie to me 4kids 10/10
Plutonium - sounds like a macguffin unfortunately 5/10
Americium - I read this with a pivotal letter missing and nearly died, 7/10 for the laugh
Curium - 10/10 gives me Curie vibes and also reminds me of curiosity which reminds me of—[old yellered before the association could set in]
Berkelium - what I shout when I want Burke (fam dog) to slaughter innocents and raze territories 2/10 world was not meant to know his commands
Californium - 1/10 California is cool with geography but probs could stand to chill with the ego sorry to my friends in Cali
Einsteinium - 6/10 it’s alright but we’re really running out of ideas huh
Fermium - 3/10 this one is porny
Mendelevium - 1/10 my brain didn’t like parsing this and I stand by my earlier statement of running out of good names
Nobelium - 0/10 you didn’t name any noble gases this cowards this gas can’t be a noble oh wait it’s NOBEL I take it back 5/10 seems an alright chap
Lawrencium - fear the old blood my sorry dead hunter’s ass I’ll never get back my life from the hours I spent trying to beat this lava shitting bastard 2/10 for being a boss who eats Taco Bell specifically before being challenged to have fresh lava shit with which to punish you for having the audacity to exist in his space
Rutherfordium - my god what a snob 4.2/10 I respect him a little but only because he sounds like a right lad
Dubnium - DROP THE BASS 10/10
Seoborgium - not sure about this one but it can have a 7/10
Bohrium - as an American English speaker this sound combination makes my pathetic throat become a black hole as I try to properly create the sound of it 10/10 I love when my body becomes a massive void in the universe
Hassium - lazy 2/10
Elements 109-118 can go fuck themselves I hate them all, collective 6.66/10 for their general demonic vibe
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drabble game
since exam season is coming up, i wanted to find a nice stress reliever in drabble writing, but couldn't really find a list of prompts that i really liked so here is my own!
send in an au, prompt, and character/member (along with an optional trope) and i'll try to whip up a nice little drabble! (i'll probably write a random one sometimes for funsies)
au:
roommates!au
time traveller!au
spy!au
mafia!au
ceo!au
influencer!au
coffee shop!au
employee!au (specify)
hogwarts!au
college!au
high school!au
babysitter!au
soulmates!au
parent!au
sports!au (name the sport)
supernatural!au (specify)
celebrity!au
superhero/villian!au
angel/demon!au
crime!au
prompt:
“look, i’m breaking every rule in the book right now, but i have a school project on the early 21st century and i really need help from someone who’s actually from the 21st century.”
“so you’re the one stealing my soul-stealing business. how ironic.”
“dude, we gotta go, they’re on his list!”
“funny seeing you here. get it, cause i can’t actually see.”
“how the hell am i supposed to know? do i look like a quizlet deck to you?”
“are you telling me you have a literal penis inked on your hip”
“you have the attention span of a fucking leaf.”
“you’re stuck in a what?”
“uh, i’m not quite sure if this is-you know, legal.”
“did you just ask me what my wifi password is?”
“no, you are not leaving this room until you answer my question.”
“please, for the love of god, stop airdropping me science memes!”
“i thought i was your boss?”
“who are you, and what are you doing under my car?”
“how could you say that?”
“dude, when was the last time you took a shower?”
“give me the date and time, i’ll be there”
“what do you mean there’s no alcohol in it, this is a fucking margarita!”
“you did not just say that.”
“how can i free fall when i've already hit rock bottom?”
“no, you’re not the one anymore.”
“whatever loser.”
“come over here and make me.”
“last time i checked, i never saw your opinion in the list of ingredients.”
“listen, i may be dumb, but i am sure as hell not stupid.”
“you’re telling me we lasted all summer just for it to end like this?”
“do it, i fucking dare you.”
“i always will, even if you don’t.”
“are you sure this is what you want?”
“did you just ‘bro’ me?”
“fuck off. i mean it.”
“you’re not sorry, you’re just trying to protect yourself!”
“for fuck’s sake, what is your deal?”
“why is he passed out drunk in our tub?”
“oh so that’s the game you wanna play?”
“no, i don’t. i can’t. i’m sorry.”
“i’m eating a sand-wait you did what?”
“if this kills me, you’re next.”
“i thought you were dead!”
“please don’t let this be a bomb.” // “fuck.”
“it’s 2 in the fucking morning, why are you here?”
“this isn’t the last time you’ll see me.”
“let me tell you something, sweetheart.”
“i feel as useless as the ‘p’ in raspberry.”
“shit, is that blood?”
“i can see that you’re clearly trying to prove a point here, but all that food in your mouth isn’t really helping your case.”
“come here.” // “and face an agonizing death? no thanks.”
“you can hit anywhere but his face.” // “why?” // “it’s too pretty to be messed up.”
“you make me wanna commit crimes.”
“you’re pulling me in opposite directions and you’re just standing there, watching.”
“i should have made a move on you before you met him.”
“if you just bit the fucking bullet, we wouldn’t just be strangers on the internet.”
“i think i love-” // “don’t finish your sentence.”
“are you telling me i spent a hundred years in that-that stupid box, for this?”
“not today satan, not to fucking day.”
“you lost one time, it isn’t the end of the world.”
“i wish we lived in the sims.”
“you have sweaty palms.” // “so you want me to let go?” // “no, just making an observation.”
“the sky is literally falling and you’re playing mario kart?”
“please don’t make me eat that.”
“ow-did you just bite me?”
“can you tell i’m falling in love with you or am i not being obvious enough?”
“you know that i can’t show you me.”
“i can’t give you all of me.”
“i’m sorry, but i can’t do this anymore.”
“when did loving you become so addicting?”
“god, i wish we were living different lives.”
“can you please be careful, that was my dead boyfriend’s.”
“a hero and a villain working together. what could possibly go wrong?”
“leave me alone or i will drop kick you to the middle of the desert.”
“look at his cute ass butt and tell me you don’t wanna smack it!” // “ass and butt mean the same thing, idiot.” // “oh so you’re testing me?”
“you can’t prove me wrong when i’m clearly correct.”
“if i hear one more love song, i will go feral.”
“we’ve been dating for like, 3 years, i think your parents are well aware we’ve seen each other naked.”
“babe, why did i just get a notification saying that we ordered $300 worth of sushi?” // “because i ordered $300 worth of sushi?”
“why didn’t you tell me?”
“when the hell did this become an item?”
“no, i never said that.”
“i broke my nail for you, and this is how you repay me?”
“my boyfriend’s here, hide!”
“who on earth owns one of these anymore?”
“what year do you think we’re from, 2020?”
“if we’re not supposed to be friends, then why do you keep following me around?”
“if you can’t win against them?” // “kill them?” // “NO!”
“who let you in here?” // “i let myself in.”
“since when did you have the keys to my heart?”
“i wish i could rip that dumbass smile off your face.”
“you love me, i love you, why can’t we make a baby?”
“since when did your eyes have stars in them?”
“we’re in the middle of a war and you’re feeding the cats?”
“okay, and? he’s hot.”
“does anyone have any dead presidents?”
“i’ll walk you home.”
“why are we in the middle of nowhere?” // “shut up, i can’t hear the gps.” // “you can’t hear it because it isn’t on!”
“we have a history final due in 4 hours and you’re going ghost hunting?”
“mornings are my favorite.” // “why?” // “‘cause it’s the only time of day where you’re quiet.”
“yes, (member), i am here because (other member) called me to fix your damn pipes. now move so i can get this done and go home.”
“everytime i close my eyes, i can’t help but see you.”
“you’re the cause of my euphoria.”
“just shut up and let me kiss you.”
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Ayesha Liveblogs Oh My Ghost (2018) Ep. 1-8
As a precursor to the mildly harrowing journey I’m about to take you on, you should know that I initially liveblogged this in a Discord chat, so what I liveblogged is purposely not emphasizing some of the stranger elements of this show. Anyway, I thought, well why not have this fever dream live on my blog too. Spoilers ahead, but as I’ve said: it’s not that I recommend this show, but I did watch the whole thing
This woman is chanting at a rooftop altar in a lightning storm so I'm guessing she's responsible for the horny ghost
Just as I was pondering the fact that this is the only piece of Thai media I have consumed in which the main characters are not, to my knowledge, mlm or wlw, the next three characters to appear on screen were all gay (I do think they're just bit roles and not important characters but it was funny timing)
Update: God this is the second show premised upon Magical Virginity set in Asia I've seen in the past few months; r u ok Thailand and Japan
In an ironic twist of fate, she can't go to the afterlife unless she has sex with someone.... as a ghost????
I don't care for most of the chefs in this kitchen; both the sous-chef and executive chef seem to physically intimidate staff below them
In more fun news Jiw, the shy main character, seems to see all sorts of dead people, since she is currently being haunted by spectres other than Horny Ghost, who has not yet met her
Grandma's explanation for why Jiw sees ghosts is that it's hereditary
UNBELIEVABLE SOMEONE HAS REFERRED TO HER AS A HORNY GHOST ON SCREEN
I'm oddly endeared by this sudden auto-rickshaw-chasing-a-taxi shenanigan, makes me miss India a little
“The onIy thing I can’t let go now is just that” It appears that the fact her virginity is relevant not because it's part of some greater Thai ghost lore, but because she specifically really wants to have sex but died before she could. The Horny Ghost Title prevails
It has been implied that Sun the Executive Chef may somehow be one of the 1-in-ten-million-men who could withstand having sex with a ghost, I now understand the trajectory of this show
“If one day you happen to possess someone who has exactly the same frequency as you, you will never be able to leave that body” The heavy-handed exposition is great
Reasons I Do Not Trust Sun the Executive Chef:
1) He seems p harsh with his staff
2) He was rude to his mum
3) He doesn't like rice!!!! Who do u think u are!!! Gluten-intolerant???
Oh my goooood, I think Win the Handsome Restaurant Staff Who Studied Abroad (who I have been rooting for since he was introduced purely because he's handsome) might be Jiw's love interest hkjhgkjhgkhg
It might be a love square!!! Jiw and Win falling for each other while Horny Ghost tries to get with Sun the Executive Chef
“You know why I don’t like you?” SUN YOU ARE HER EMPLOYER!!!
He's right but he's rude 😔:
“A woman shouldn’t have scars on her hands” The context of this comment is that Jiw has just spilled hot soup on her hands kjhfkhfjhf sorry Sun, femininity isn't flame-retardant
Sun's tragic backstory is that he was also once a crybaby who apologized too much
Though in fairness to Jiw, if I were seeing ghosts and had this kind of work culture, I'd be stressed out too
Jury's still out on Sun; I do like Sun's sister and her husband, they both seem very nice so far
I'm confused by the fact that Jiw's landlord seems to barge into her place anytime he wants??? Also he's threatening her to evict her for her Ghost-Be-Gone-Rituals
The first actual hint of romance: Sun is commenting on Jiw's food blog, which he doesn't know belongs to her, bc he thinks her recipe and passion for cooking is nice
KUHHGDKJHGKJDHGKJHSJDKHG Horny Ghost has now possessed Jiw and has just THROWN SUN TO THE GROUND for trying to root through her purse for the storage room key
My guess is that the Horny Ghost will try to get with Sun the Executive Chef, while inhabiting Jiw’s body Greed-from-FMAB-style
Ep 2: Horny Ghost is attempting to figure out what Jiw's job is in this restaurant while still impersonating/possessing her
Barely ten minutes in and she has already challenged the sous-chef to a fight
Horny Ghost’s only priorities are fucking and fighting
God it's so hard get through this show it's too embarrassing
POOR JIWWWWWW SHE DOES NOT DESERVE TO HAVE THIS PERSON IN CHARGE OF HER BODY JGHKJHG
Jiw has been saved from further embarrassment because Sun has been taken into the police station. Bc he firmly escorted a food blogger out of his restaurant in ep 1 for yelling at his staff and now she's filing false charges against him. Whack
Why is there a shower in the back of this restaurant??? I was willing to accept the lockers for their stuff but the shower perplexes me. Was this building formerly a gym??
And yeah I don't know if I'll make it through this whole show bc I have to pause every minute or two to be embarrassed
TOOK 1 MINUTE FOR JIW TO SHOW UP IN THE SHOWER
I feel all of these emotions
Horny Ghost!Jiw is taking Handsome Study-Abroad Win on a date; I feel bad for both Jiw and Win bc I think they have a vibe going on hgkjhgjh
Executive Chef Sun is solving his B Plot problems by leaving fake positive reviews about his own restaurant
Sun is mad at his mom for settling his legal dispute bc she wasn't there when he was a Sad Little Rich Boy (Now he is simply a Mad Tall Rich Man)
I keep forgetting that the Sous Chef's name is Rain; hgkjhgkjhg I wonder if Sun hired him for the comedy of it
Oh with added context Sun and his mom had a rough go of it actually, she had him young and sent his sister to live with their aunt and kind of really did leave Sun to fend for himself
SUN MADE A FRIEND
Sun's mom and Horny Ghost's Nemesis (Auntie Pu) are hanging out bc Sun's mom is very superstitious
Also dear god these episodes are each an hour long???
An earlier sidenote: There was a scene where Auntie Pu seemed to be heckled by God for her inability to catch Horny Ghost
Executive Chef Sun is now shooting a cooking competition and Rain has been thrown out by security so I'm guessing that Sun and Horny Ghost will be ✨ live ✨ on ✨ television ✨
So the theme of the cooking competition is Mom's Home Cooking and they've mentioned like 3 times that Sun's mom never cooked anything for him
I know this is supposed to be a sad moment for Sun but I'm cracking up bc he reacted like he'd just been shot kghkjgh
Horny Ghost is helppppppppppppppppping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh noooooooo the sad old man restaurant owner having a hard time with his business who they occasionally cut to is Horny Ghost's dad, it seems!!
You know, ironically even though the other Thai media I've watched has been set mostly coming of age/university stories, this is the first thing aside from Love of Siam that has put such emphasis on the parents. Most other media has been ‘1-2 parent scenes in the whole thing is enough’
HORNY GHOST HAS REGAINED SOME OF HER MEMORIES AND NOW HAS A NAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HER DAD CALLS HER 'KAOPOON'
Awww Dad's Restaurant used to be so bustling with life when Kaopoon was still alive 💔
Kaopoon's obnoxious personality really suited her old life!!
What an unexpected turn towards sincerity and emotional depth
In more light-hearted news, Sun is still vain as hell
Also shout-out to Thailand for the adult orthodontics representation kjhkgjh I noticed this in 2gether as well, it seems a p common thing
Kaopoon has made the bold choice of hanging out of with her dad and snooping through her old room. I can only imagine this will lead to a fight with her brother, bc she has Jiw's face
OH MY GOD KAOPOON HAS BEEN STEALING FROM SUN'S RESTAURANT TO GIVE STUFF TO HER DAD'S RESTAURANT KJHFKHGK
Another ongoing subplot mildly stressing me out: Sun's sister Nam is married to a policeman and it turns out that Kaopoon used to have a crush on him when she was alive and I'm like DON'T FLIRT WITH HIM IN JIW'S BODY PLEASE DON'T NAM IS HER FRIEND
Sous Chef Rain is being a real bro to Horny Ghost Kaopoon and saying “We should all be held responsible so we don't lose our trust in each other” to which Executive Chef Sun says “that makes you a thief,” bc being rich makes u lose empathy I guess lmao
🎶 This is I why do not trust the Bourgeoisie 🎶
Executive Chef Sun is now expressing his regret for firing his Sous Chef to his dog, who, while doing nothing but eat, has stolen the scene and any of my sympathy
Whoops Horny Ghost's brother is about to reveal her Restaurant Crimes to her boss, I'm pretty sure
I hate that Horny Ghost's brother keeps insinuating that Horny Ghost/Jiw is seeking a “sugar d*ddy” or flirting like can't people just be nice jghjkg? I hope that Sun realizes now that family or not, she was being kind, not stealing for self-gain
This is so fucking funny Sun found out about Jiw/Horny Ghost's restaurant crimes, seemingly forgave her on the spot for no good reason, and hired Sous Chef Rain back only for the rest of the restaurant staff to immediately begin muttering about how much they hated Rain hahaha
I'm beginning to think Sous Chef Rain has a weird passive-aggressive crush on Executive Chef Sun. I would support it only bc I find them both exhausting and the comedy of two people named Sun and Rain falling in love is great
Rain: We have a strong bond. Stronger than friends, family or brothers. Sun, and also me: 👀🤔
“I helped you fix things with Rain,” said Horny Ghost Kaopoon, as if she had not also been one of several sources of conflict at her restaurant. (Also this dialogue is part of her drunkenly coming onto Sun.. which is quite something to watch)
Study-Aboard Win Who Probably Has Feelings for Real Jiw to the rescue
God, who has the mental strength to get through show all at once? Really and genuinely every time this show gives me a false sense of normalcy they do something embarrassing dhfjhfjk where is the pay-off? Where is the romance??
Sun's childhood friend Ida who seems to have a crush on him tried to invite him up to her apartment [Tiktok voice "I wanna ruin our friendship"] but he said nah so now he's standing in the rain thinking about their history
First of all, sir, you are 30, so I don’t see the point of trying to pretend the same actor makes sense in a school uniform. Second of all, is wearing glasses and having bangs all that it takes to make you unpopular? What kinda She's All That nonsense??
Sun's argument for denying the booty call is that they should've dated in university but now they've missed their moment
Horny Ghost has just found out her Cop Crush is married (to Sun's sister) and Sun has just rejected himself from the Friendship Booty Call, so I wonder if they're going to have Sad Sex in the Rain
Update: No one is having sex in the rain but Horny Ghost Kaopoon has just been kicked out of her apartment and is now going to sleep in the restaurant I guess, this should end well
Sun definitely has a weird crush on Horny Ghost bc he keeps letting her get away with all kinds of shit kjhgkhgkgh she has punched him, stole from him, come onto him strongly, and snuck into the restaurant at night and she's just like “~~please chef 🥺” and he's like “FINE 😤😊 you can do whatever I guess”
That said despite taking it fine he did not let her stay the night at the restaurant so I guess that's the one thing she's not allowed to do jghkhgg
Uhhhhhh it seems like the Cop Crush is reciprocated???????? Kaopoon/Jiw was like “You must love her a lot” and he was like “who” ABOUT HIS WIFE!!!
Sun has gotten caught up with Jealousy Antics towards Childhood Friend Ida and now Kaopoon is attempting to blackmail him to let her stay at the restaurant lmaooo
Okay Win his definitely in love with ONE of the two (Sun or Jiw/Kaopoon) bc Jiw/Kaopoon slept in the restaurant and everyone's like “Oooooh Chef and Jiw got lucky last night” and they had a lingering shot of Win looking longingly in their direction
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Sun just kissed Jiw/Kaopoon bc of a fever-induced hallucination I bet u $85 that Ida is about to walk in
Kaopoon has confirmed that Sun is Ghost-fucking Proof and now she's 100% Mission Sleep with My Possessee's Boss Before I Get Turned Into an Evil Spirit in Two Months
She just straight up asked him, “Will you do it with me? Just once?”
Sun, emotionally, at this particular moment: [Donkey Kong meme]
(As an aside I really wish Kaopoon were not up in everyone's grill romantic advance-wise this is straight up worse than an anime in that sense)
Oh my god is this how they actually become friends?????? By her chasing him around asking him to fuck and him going “NO” and then physically rolling her away from him
I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOUR DYNAMIC!!!!!!!! WHY IS THIS WEIRD FUCK-PROPOSITION MONTAGE SET TO SUCH PEPPY MUSIC
I have now pivoted and I think Cop Crush may have murdered Kaopoon???????? Auntie Pu (Horny Ghost Kaopoon's Nemesis) just said his identity was death and suspicious music played
OH MY GOD FOR SOME REASON SUN UNPLUGGING HIS PHONE CHARGER HAD THE COSMIC EFFECT OF REMOVING HORNY GHOST FROM JIW'S BODY???? WHAT!! WHAT!!!!!!!!
Every time I think "that's it, I'm done with this" they keep pulling me back in!!!
DGhfjdkjk?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They just made Cop Crush run over an unhoused man's recycling??? I guess to establish that we shouldn't trust him??? What is the writing on this show!!
Dkjhgsdkjhgkjh a Canadian character has appeared for some wonderfully stilted English dialogue:
Sun: How's Canada sir?
Canadian Ambassador: Canada was very cold, but it's good to be back
Sun: It sounds like fun anyway!
CA: It is! It's always fun!
Sun: Ok!
JIW HAS ACCIDENTALLY SET FIRE TO THE BACK OF THE RESTAURANT AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I figure if I power through the show the psychic damage will be shorter term
Also I think Sun has accosted Real Jiw for a psychiatric evaluation bc of her reasonably erratic behaviour
To add to the layers of this show, Jiw and Sun are back to interacting via her recipe blog and he's all like “wow this internet gal is my soulmate 😍“ like the dumbass he is
Not to detract from internet relationships or anything, but they've exchanged ONE comment
They're having at least a minute long back and forth of cutting to these two staring stupidly into the distance thinking about each other
Kaopoon's father seems to have alcohol poisoning and Cop Crush just left him in the back storage closet on the ground????????????? Heavy-handed murder foreshadowing I think
Kaopoon saved her dad by possessing Jiw again; as much as I understand why she did it I really do feel bad for Jiw bc Kaopoon keeps living her life for her, you know? Seems unkind
Sun just offered to train Jiw/Kaopoon to be a chef (which Jiw really would want to do) but will Jiw be present for it? Hard to say!
SURE YOU WERE LIEUTENANT MURDER
It's been narratively established that Jiw does not remember what happens while she's been possessed so it makes the possessions that much sadder. Particularly since everyone but Win seems to like Kaopoon better
Bc this show needs at least four dramatic plots per episode, Sun has invited his childhood bullies to his restaurant to mock them passive-aggressively with his wealth
The bullies are like: Hey Sun, your childhood trauma's really harshing the vibe
Sun found out his Main Bully (Big) is really not doing well income-wise and now he feels slightly bad for mocking him with his wealth
Clearly Sun has not caught onto the Horny Ghost Situation
Oh my GOD “I spring up every time you talk horny because I’m scared of your words” Sun really said: ‘Well mark me down as a scared AND horny’
Auntie Pu whacked Horny Ghost out of Jiw on the way to their Spring Roll Not-Date so Jiw will finally get to experience some chef stuff with Sun
Sun, despite his reservations, seems to have a crush on all of Jiw's various personalities
He's playing guitar for Jiw through their shared apartment wall just bc she stopped on the street bc she saw a guitar player 🥺❤️
Real Jiw really likes him!! This is the Thai Jamie Oliver bullshit I signed up for
SCREAM he's trying to take Real Jiw on a bike ride kjhgkjhgkh what a quit pivot from his standoffishness to “I will be involved in every aspect of your life”
This biking day concluded in a way I could not have possibly predicted which was, as an interruption to their flirting, they had to high-speed foot chase a bicycle part thief, which they caught because Real Jiw BIT HIM on the leg
And Sun, because he is OUT OF HIS MIND, is just kinda like: “Love that for you babe 🥰”
OKAY SUN YOU MAY HAVE ONE (1) BOURGEOSIE PASS
The Jiw/Sun/Ida stuff finally comes to a head because Ida brought him a cake but Jiw and Sun are already sharing a cake (and restaurant-apartment building)
“Think of it as... helping a hungry policeman” EVERYTHING THIS MAN DOES IS SO FREAKING SUSPICIOUS
Somehow I don't think this is a reasonable request, Kaopoon
Things have escalated and now Auntie Pu, Kaopoon and Jiw are all on Team Sun Should Have Sex with Horny Ghost
I'm gonna power through as much of this show as I can at once so on it goes lol
I kind of understand Sun's "I'm not going to deal with this" way of approaching romance but man it sucks to be Ida who has tried to be pretty forthright with her feelings
So apparently Sun's sister Nam has not always had a wheelchair, she only had it starting three years ago, which is when Kaopoon died,,,,, did Cop Crush murder Kaopoon AND injure his wife,,,,, the stank vibes!!!
As weird as it is that Kaopoon and Jiw are working together to seduce Sun, it's exactly what I wanted and thought this show would be from the beginning
Win said all women are queens 😌❤️
Rain: Why are you protecting [Jiw as Kaopoon]? Is she your girlfriend or something?
Win: Do I need to be her boyfriend to do that? Fine, I'll be her boyfriend then
Sun purposely did not give Win the prize in their Friendly Vacation Cooking Competition because he is jealous that Jiw and Win seem to be flirting; this man said my love language is Passive Aggression
They're going on yet another couple's bike ride (this time ft. Horny Ghost Jiw, which Sun simply canonically thinks is a product of mania, which is fair I guess)
Nam's friends are talking about the person who did a hit and run to Nam getting karmic justice while Lieutenant Murder sits there, probably the one that did it
Lieutenant Murder (formerly known as Cop Crush) just keyed his wife's friend's car because they need to establish that he is not only evil, but also a run-of-the-mill dick
Gsdkdhgkhgkh Kaopoon as Jiw has been trapped inside a storage crate by a tween girl who can see ghosts and u can this is set in Thailand (or Asia generally) bc they cut to this temp gauge like 10C is a really threatening temp. Girl it's chilly but you are fine!!
Sun said, "I am in love with all sides of Jiw, Aggressive Horny Ghost I Think Is Mania included"
#ayesha says things#ayesha liveblogs oh my ghost#liveblogging#oh my ghost 2018#thai television#television#long post
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10 Best Fighting Game Movies
https://ift.tt/31CS0wp
Once upon a time, Bruce Lee, Jim Kelly, and John Saxon visited a crime boss’ private island to compete in a fighting tournament and it was awesome. The 1973 movie Enter the Dragon is basically the prototype for the fighting games like Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter. And when those fighting games became popular, they inspired their own movies that either tried to emulate Enter the Dragon or do something completely new.
The ‘90s gave us the cheesy live-action fighting game movies from Hollywood and the animated movies from Japan. There have been several live-action Mortal Kombat movies as well as a few animated ones. There have also been multiple Street Fighter movies, four attempts at Tekken, a trilogy of Fatal Fury films, and more.
Are most of them bad? Yes. But did we pick our 10 favorite fighting game movies anyway? You bet. Here are our picks:
10. ART OF FIGHTING (1993)
Eh…it’s harmless.
The Art of Fighting series is mostly defined by the twist that the first game’s final boss is the main character’s father and the second game’s final boss is a younger incarnation of the villain from Fatal Fury. Take away those aspects and you’re left with a rather lowkey storyline for a fighting game where a teenage girl is kidnapped by a mobster and is rescued by her brother and her boyfriend.
Wait, I said that weird. It’s two different people, I swear! Except in Capcom, where Dan Hibiki is literally both of them merged into one character.
In the 45-minute Art of Fighting movie about Ryo and Robert, who are like chiller and dopier versions of Ryu and Ken, we watch as the duo gets sucked into a plot about stolen diamonds, martial arts criminals, and angry police lieutenants. It doesn’t take itself seriously and it’s a fine, breezy watch.
Ryo’s incorrect hair color kind of irks me, though.
9. STREET FIGHTER ALPHA: THE ANIMATION (1999)
This movie suffers from the same problem as Fatal Fury: The Motion Picture. It features a cast of heroes from a fighting game taking on a villain created for the movie instead of the villains we actually give a shit about. But the movie does also have some brief but awesome cameos (Kim Kaphwan and Geese Howard from Fatal Fury and Dan Hibiki and Akuma from Street Fighter Alpha) to brighten up a less-than-stellar plot.
Street Fighter Alpha: The Animation does at least get by because the original characters play up Ryu’s whole fear about being overcome by “the Dark Hadou.” This leads to some cool animations where Evil Ryu looks like a mindless, shambling zombie but also an unstoppable fighting machine.
The movie’s main storyline is about a kid named Shun who claims that he’s Ryu’s long-lost brother. He too is a fighter cursed with an inner dark side, which is used as a red herring to suggest that Shun’s father (and presumably Ryu’s father) is actually Akuma. That ends up being bupkis and Shun is just linked to some scheme by a mad scientist or whatever.
Probably the funniest thing about this movie is the directors’ infatuation with Chun-Li’s midsection. She’s wearing her form-fitting Street Fighter Alpha costume and there are dozens upon dozens of random close-ups to her lower torso from the front and back. If this were a drinking game, it would kill you.
8. FATAL FURY 2: THE NEW BATTLE (1993)
Of the Fatal Fury movie trilogy, this one is easily the best, even if it makes all the good guys seem like a bunch of overly-serious crybabies. The basic story is that after having avenged his father’s death, Terry hits rock bottom, dusts himself off, and comes out the other end stronger. Good, good. Going Rocky III is the perfect direction for a follow-up.
The problem is that Terry comes off as a bit of a whiner and the other heroes try way too hard to vilify the movie’s main antagonist, who hasn’t actually done anything that terrible. Krauser shows up one day, challenges Terry to a fight, wins, and says, “Okay, when you get better, train and fight me again.” Krauser isn’t trying to take over the world or murder orphans or whatever. He’s just a dude with huge shoulder armor who wants a good fight.
But everyone acts like Krauser’s the absolute worst. Terry starts drinking and falls to pieces while his buddies hope to get revenge. What a bunch of jerks.
While a fun romp, the worst thing about this sequel is how they redesigned Krauser. Gone is his mustache and forehead scar for the sake of making him seem younger. Kind of a bullshit move, considering he’s supposed to be the half-brother to middle-aged Geese Howard.
7. TEKKEN: THE MOTION PICTURE (1998)
This hour-long anime is almost great but just can’t stick the landing. It runs into the same problem as Mortal Kombat: Annihilation where the game series tells a specific overall story but the movie cuts corners to tell the same story. Tekken: The Motion Picture covers the first Tekken while setting up Tekken 3 and skipping Tekken 2 completely.
It means that everything’s well and good until the confusing and rushed finale. Otherwise, the movie is a fine use of the Enter the Dragon formula. Heihachi Mishima has a special island fighting tournament and the entrants include his vengeful son, a couple of cops investigating the situation, a gigantic robot, an angry Native American girl, two feuding assassin sisters, and a bunch of awesome characters who only get about three full frames of appearances each. Really would have liked to see something from Paul, King, and Yoshimitsu, though.
Other than Kazuya being pissed at everything, the best scenes are the over-the-top ones. When Jack does crazy robot stuff, when dinosaurs show up and start eating people, and that memorable sequence where Heihachi catches a hatchet with his mouth and then shatters it with his jaw.
6. STREET FIGHTER (1994)
I know this movie is just a GI Joe script with Street Fighter names pasted over it. I know it’s a cheesefest of dopey ideas and Belgian accents. I’ve long accepted that. Thing is, the movie is still a total blast to watch. What it lacks in faithfulness to the source material, it makes up for with pure camp and ham.
The 16 characters from Super Street Fighter II are represented here, except Fei Long is replaced with the forgettable Captain Sawada. How ironic that the movie star character isn’t even in the movie!
In general, the movie features some head-scratching depictions of classic Street Fighter characters. All-American Guile is played by Jean Claude Van Damme, Charlie Nash and Blanka are the same character, Dee Jay is an evil hacker, Ryu and Ken are comedic conmen, and Dhalsim is a frumpy scientist.
It’s Raul Julia’s M. Bison who keeps this guilty pleasure afloat. He’s to Street Fighter what Frank Langella’s Skeletor was to Masters of the Universe. He gives 110% and his performance is easily the best reason to watch this movie. It’s truly a wonder to behold.
Read more
Games
The Forgotten Fighting Games of the 1990s
By Gavin Jasper
Games
King of Fighters: Ranking All the Characters
By Gavin Jasper
The movie is infamous for inspiring a fighting game based on it, but you know what nobody ever talks about? The Double Dragon movie also had a fighting game based on it made by Technos and released on the Neo Geo. And Double Dragon wasn’t even a one-on-one fighter to begin with!
Anyway, if you intend to sit back and watch Street Fighter, make sure to add in the RiffTrax commentary.
5. DOA: DEAD OR ALIVE (2006)
Enter the Dragon meets Charlie’s Angels is a heck of a concept, but DOA: Dead or Alive is so confidently tongue-in-cheek that it succeeds as an action comedy that’s way better than it has any right to be. Part of why it works is that Dead or Alive has never had much of an overarching storyline, but is more defined by the individual characters (plus, you know, all the cheesecake). Enough of those characters appear in what’s your regular “fighting tournament on a mysterious island” setup.
The whole thing moves with such energy that it’s easy to get sucked in. It’s the opposite of the live-action Tekken movie, where even though the film features accurate versions of all the characters, everything is so drab and lifeless that you just can’t wait for it to be over. In DOA, the combatants spend their downtime playing cartoony action volleyball with Fake Dennis Rodman on commentary, while in Tekken everyone mopes about dystopian capitalism.
Other than Helena’s character being “important dead guy’s daughter,” most of the main characters are charismatic enough to keep your attention during the 3% of the movie when fights aren’t happening. It must suck for Ninja Gaiden fans that Hayabusa is depicted as a total dweeb, but he at least gets to do some cool stuff here and there.
The movie also has Kevin Nash playing a character based on Hollywood Hogan and he’s so likeable that I’m genuinely bummed that he peaces out about halfway into the movie. Luckily, the movie is entertaining enough that I didn’t even notice until after it was over. It helps that during that time, we get more of Eric Roberts, his amazing hair, and his special sunglasses that turn him into the ultimate martial arts master.
Spoiler alert, but the secret to defeating him is, get this, removing his sunglasses!
4. MORTAL KOMBAT LEGENDS: SCORPION’S REVENGE (2020)
It took a while, but Warner Bros. Animation is on fire these days. After that Batman vs. TMNT movie and Teen Titans Go vs. Teen Titans, the studio appears to be hitting more than they miss. That’s exactly the kind of team needed to put together the latest animated Mortal Kombat movie.
This is the umpteenth retelling of the first game’s story. Not only does it have to compete with the first live-action movie, but also the events of Mortal Kombat 9, which depicts the tournament in cutscene format. Fortunately, Scorpion’s Revenge has a few tricks up its sleeve. First, it puts Scorpion in the forefront as the protagonist. He was barely a character in the original movie and the game just had him kill Sub-Zero and feel bad about it for the rest of the story mode. Now he feels like a character in a crossover, making a mark on the original story instead of being put in the sidelines.
We also have the wonderful stunt casting of Joel McHale as Johnny Cage. More importantly, Jennifer Carpenter plays Sonya Blade, which is such a step up from Ronda Rousey’s voice acting in Mortal Kombat 11.
This cartoon has a very hard R when it comes to violence. From the very beginning, Scorpion’s origins are gruesome and grisly. Once Jax is introduced, it doesn’t take long until we realize, “Oh, that’s how they’re dealing with THAT plot point in this continuity.” Then there’s a surprise villain death late in the movie that not only comes as a shocking development, but it’s so graphic and nasty that you can’t help but be taken aback.
Scorpion’s Revenge is a fantastic first chapter of what is hopefully a series of animated movies, but it does have its pacing issues. Scorpion being the protagonist may be a welcome change, but at times it does feel like a square peg being crammed into a round hole.
3. TEKKEN: BLOOD VENGEANCE (2011)
One of the best things about the Tekken series is the endings. While the cutscenes from the first couple games haven’t exactly aged well, these CGI epilogues have become a staple in nearly every installment. What better reward for your time and success than watching a rocking action sequence with Yoshimitsu and Bryan Fury killing each other in the jungle?
And so, to play to the series’ strengths, Bandai Entertainment released a Tekken movie that’s really just one big ending cutscene. It’s not canon, but it feels at home with the games.
Since Tekken’s main conflict is with two ruthless megalomaniacs (Heihachi and Kazuya) and a disgruntled nihilist (Jin), it’s hard to treat any of them as a real protagonist here. Instead, they go with Ling Xiaoyu, who is portrayed as the person who sees the good in Jin and wants him to see the light. She’s given a robotic BFF in Alisa Bosconovitch because Xiaoyu is kind of a tame character and needs someone with chainsaw arms and a jetpack to liven things up.
The first hour or so is good enough to keep your attention and its lightened up by a couple appearances by Tekken’s best character, Lee. But once it gets to the third act, it just becomes a completely awesome Heihachi vs. Kazuya vs. Jin fight, with Xiaoyu taking a backseat to watch all the crazy shit going on. It’s a full-on fireworks factory, as we not only see Devil forms of Kazuya and Jin but a very special final form for Heihachi that’s a true delight for Tekken fans.
2. STREET FIGHTER II: THE ANIMATED MOVIE (1994)
Let it be said that for someone who grew up in the ‘80s and ‘90s, finding a faithful cartoon adaptation of a video game property was not easy. Link and Simon Belmont were unlikable sexual harassers. Mega Man was a more annoying sidekick than Scrappy Doo. Mario and Luigi teamed up with Milli Vanilli. Power Team was…a thing. When we got an animated movie based on Street Fighter II, it was mind-blowing. This was a movie where the very first scene was Ryu tearing Sagat’s chest into a bloody gash thanks to a well-animated Shoryuken.
There’s a lot going on in this movie, but at the same time, nothing is going on. By this point, there were 17 characters in the various Street Fighter II games, and outside of a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it Akuma cameo, it feels the need to include every single one of them. Some get minor roles, like Cammy and Dee Jay. Then there’s Zangief and Blanka, who fight each other for no reason other than for the sake of giving them something to do. Even Ryu vanishes for a huge chunk of the runtime.
Once everything funnels into the third act, this movie is great. And the earlier fight scenes are straight fire too, including the memorable Chun-Li vs. Vega brawl. Even though the movie already feels true to Street Fighter II, it’s even better when you realize that it’s all supposed to be a prequel to the game itself.
Or at least I hope so. Otherwise, all Sagat gets to do is get his ass kicked by Ryu and get chewed out by Bison.
1. MORTAL KOMBAT (1995)
The stars truly aligned for this one. Mortal Kombat Mania was at its peak, so it makes sense that this movie was a retelling of the first game’s story with added aspects from the second game, all while hyping up the arcade release of the third game. CGI was such a novelty in Hollywood in the ’90s that even if it looked primitive, it still looked cutting edge at the time. It was the perfect time to release this movie.
But Mortal Kombat isn’t perfect. Reptile is embarrassing. Scorpion and Sub-Zero being relegated to goons still stings. I still roll my eyes at the part towards the end where Sonya is suddenly the damsel in distress and Raiden flat-out verbally buries her by saying she couldn’t beat Shang Tsung in a million years. Otherwise, it’s the perfect storm of ‘90s action garbage.
There are so many over-the-top and charismatic performances here. Johnny Cage, Raiden, Shang Tsung, Kano, and even Goro are a blast to watch. All 10 characters from the original game are given something to do and, most importantly, they realize how uniquely weird the game’s story is and actually dive headfirst into it. The movie isn’t embarrassed to be a Mortal Kombat movie but handles itself well enough that we aren’t embarrassed to be watching a Mortal Kombat movie.
Even with a PG-13 rating, the movie was violent enough. Kano talked up seeing a pile of frozen guts in the wake of a Sub-Zero fight, Scorpion got his skull sliced apart with demon brain goo spewing all over the place, and Shang Tsung got impaled to death.
With the reboot being rated R, going for the gore could very well be the right route to go, but for the love of the Elder Gods, don’t forget to have FUN. All I’m saying is, if even Johnny Cage isn’t hamming it up, then what’s the point?
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𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐫𝐲𝐝𝐞𝐫.
( wolfgang novogratz, cis male ) hey ! have you seen RYDER MONROE around ? HE works as a RENTALS TECHNICIAN at big bear resort, but they must be off their shift by now. well, if you do see them can you let me know ? they’re 22 years old & they’ve been working here for A FEW WEEKS. they tend to be CAREFREE & FUN-LOVING, but can also be IRRESPONSIBLE & EVASIVE. the other employees have labeled them THE PETER PAN. thanks a lot ! ( mismatched socks and old beat up converse, a mischievous dimpled smile, soft guitar strums at 3am, illegible scribbles in a worn out notebook, rowdy cheers heard overtop of loud party music ).
ya, idk man. i have no self-control & this is a long, rambley mess. soooo hERE is aylie’s older twin brother ( by five minutes ), ryder. gimme a like ig, but imma be hitting everyone up to plot anyways cuz i luv u all.
name : ryder austin monroe if u kno, u kno
age : twenty-two
gender : cis male
sexuality : heterosexual
hometown : london, england
job : rentals technician ( subject to change )
born to a famous retired musician from london and a colorado native, ryder is the older twin of aylie ( by five minutes and he’ll never let her forget it ). they share an older brother, cole, making him the middle child.
middle child syndrome was very much so the case with ryder. between his siblings, he was always the troublemaker and it’s been this way since they were young. he could always be found up to no good ━ anything from hanging off the curtains to trying to ship himself off to egypt in a cardboard box.
his dad got him into music to teach him how to focus and as a means to keep him busy. ryder took to it like fish to water, and showed some promising talent in writing and playing music. he wrote his first song when he was five and although it was pretty much just nonsense about cheerios, he somehow managed to recycle some of the lyrics into a proper song years later.
as a kid, ryder was also put into different sports to channel all of his energy somewhere. football ( or soccer for the ‘muricans ) was the sport that he kept up with up until he finished school, and of course, snowboarding. he’s always been ridiculously competitive, especially with his siblings, and likes to tease aylie that he’s the superior snowboarder in the family.
he had just been accepted to berklee college in the US when his mom got into a car accident and passed away. her death really shook his family to the core, yet ryder had played it off like he was completely unaffected by it, even cracking jokes at the funeral.
that was just who ryder was. he never took anything seriously, even when he should, and life was just one big party. he always ran away at the first sign of a problem or responsibility, and that was exactly what he did after his mom’s funeral. he packed up what he could and left home that very night, only leaving his family a half-assed note on the back of the funeral program.
he spent the summer traveling on his own, working odd jobs and playing whatever gigs he could get. deferring his acceptance to berklee for a year, later turned into dropping out altogether when he decided to just focus on his music.
the whole music thing worked out for him after he put together a band while in amsterdam. they toured around different cities playing small gigs, and when he wasn’t touring, he was working with upcoming artists or traveling on his own. ryder was never in one place for long and his family never knew when he’d visit.
it was only a couple years ago that he began visiting big bear again, mostly to visit his sister and to snowboard. though he also picked up the odd job of working at the rentals shack, where he spends most of his shift messing around on his guitar.
ryder’s always been the biggest little shit around. he could be pretty rowdy and immature sometimes, but it’s all in the name of fun. very much an act before you think type and has landed himself in some hot water because of it. with absolutely zero impulse control, he’s a bit of a fighter and a lover ( will fight you, but then buy you a beer after ), but he’s got a good heart and tries to be cool with everyone.
FUN FACTS.
his music is a bit of a cross between rex orange county and lauv.
really bad with quotes. will quote ghandi even though 9.9/10 times, ghandi did not in fact say it.
obsessed with the fast and furious movies. frequently wishes he was brian o’connor. sometimes thinks he is brian o’connor. will absolutely be the first in line to watch the 24th movie and will also frequently quote the movies.
ironically enough, he’s a bad driver. like, really bad. took him nine tries to get his license. just picture cher horowitz’s driving tbh.
ryder’s instagram is private because of his ~* super famous celeb *~ dad, but he also lets just about anyone follow him so that... kind of defeats the purpose. he posts a lot of artsy ( in his opinion ) pics, but also random stuff like a zoomed in shot of grease on a pizza slice and cUtE candids, complete with quotes ( said by the wrong people ) as captions. #influencer
always down for a good prank war. famously known for being the guy that broke in and stole the jonas brothers’ wardrobe change right before they had to get back on stage.
loves a good romance or rom-com movie. can probably quote from the classics. he just quotes a lot of shit i guess?? also a big taylor swift stan. he said fuck your gender norms, bro!
WANTED CONNECTIONS.
some generic wcs cuz i’m boring IDK. obvy, i’m always open to brainstorming other ideas too!
BROT3 ━ trio of your dreams bish. every bro needs his bros. his partners in crime, ride or dies, BFFLs, bro-mates, whatever you wanna call it. can either encourage or discourage ryder’s ~*~brilliant~*~ ideas, but either way, they’re always along for the ride. taken by leo takanashi & kieran rhodes
CHILDHOOD ( BEST ) FRIEND ━ grew up together and they’re basically each other’s number one since day one. probably vacationed together in big bear and that was how they met.
MOM FRIEND ━ because ryder is a dumb child and needs someone looking out for him, even if he only listens like 10% of the time. just a scary mama bear / boss bitch who he is maybe a lil scared of. taken by divine burakgazi
CONFIDANT ━ not saying ryder talks about his ~* feelings *~ often, but the odd chance that he does, it’s probably with y/m. they could just lend an ear, or be someone he turns to for advice too. taken by callie macdermot
GOOD INFLUENCE ━ the angel on ryder’s shoulder basically. the voice of reason who will talk him out of getting into dumb shenanigans where he’ll a) hurt himself, b) get into trouble, or c) all of the above.
BAD INFLUENCE ━ and ofc, the devil on ryder’s shoulder. the person who encourages all of his bad ideas. probably even contributes a fair share of them. taken by callie macdermot
( EX ) FLING / FWB / HOOK-UP ━ someone ( or multiple someones ) ryder often hooked up with whenever he’s in big bear. maybe he genuinely liked her ( and she liked him back? ), but he’s just too emotionally immature and flighty to be a good boyfriend.
EX-GF ━ dated for a few months before she dumped him because he was a crappy boyfriend. it could have ended on good, bad, awkward, whatever terms. taken by ingrid kelly
SOFT SPOT ━ maybe they dated, maybe they almost dated, maybe it was on/off. whatever the case, ryder just can’t seem to shake y/m. he cares a lot for her ( possibly some strong lovey feelings were involved ) and will always be there for her no matter what. y/m could feel the same way, or just be leading him on. think peter kavinsky & gen sdlkgjdkg don’t come at me. taken by divine burakgazi
FAVOURITE ANNOYANCE ━ ryder loves to annoy y/m and get on their nerves just for the hell of it ( maybe he has a tiny crush ). will do just about anything to get a rise out of y/m and to rile them up.
ENEMIES / RIVALS ━ for whatever reason, they just never clicked and/or rubbed each other the wrong way. every time they’re in the same room together, it’s big yikes and lots of tension.
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Yugioh S4 Ep1 Part 1: Yugi Ditches Algebra, Cards Become Real
Ah, a new season a new day. It’s Season 4. And we’re going to start of with:
A deep sea sub. Sure, why not?
So Yugi’s unofficial other grandpa, Arthur Hawkins, AKA one of the member’s of this show’s only really happening OTP has decided to kinda ditch his Granddaughter Rebecca and go to the bottom of the ocean. Don’t blame him. Down here is where, I guess, he will come across this very Grecian looking structure.
Like Yugioh nonchalantly passes a lot of bad history at me but like...he’s in the Atlantic Ocean and there’s Grecian style stuff everywhere?
Why? I mean at least he’s not in the Pacific but like...Yugioh. Anyways, we’re not in Greece but the show had very little time to invent a brand new ancient architecture style although I would be super down for that.
But like...here’s the thing about columns--you can go really deep into column lore and people are really freakin picky about columns and what they mean, and this could have been a low key hilarious place to make an entirely new column order just for Yugioh. They could’ve done it and they decided not to. It’s OK, I’ll save it for the Marik’s Boat Time spinoff they’ll never ever make.
But I just want to bring up just real super fast that Noah and Gozaburo must’ve known about this place for years right? Like they super lived underwater and had robots poised to attack mankind stationed all over the sea floor so...we can pretty much guarantee they already knew about this place?
Just gonna bring up what a shame it is Noah freakin died.
Also want to bring up what a shame it was that Arthur didn’t show up at the beginning of S3 and be like “hey Yugi, I was just in the neighborhood, noticed you got picked up by an undersea gang, what’s up?”
(read more under the cut)
Anyway, there he is, our 70 yo adventurer, who has more energy than I have at under half his age. Arthur Hawkins needs to take it down a few pegs.
Or is it Hawkings?
Wtv.
Anyways, I gave Hawkins this tweed colored font that I just realized is nearly the same as Joey’s so it’ll change if he ever comes back.
Thanks for that prologue, Yugioh. Anyway, apparently no one on this side of Japan freakin cares, because despite finding what looks exactly like Godzilla’s lair on the bottom of the sea, we’re gonna instead fixate on Rex and Weevil.
Y’all I was going to make a joke about “why does this show fixate so much on Rex and Weevil at the beginning of so many arcs?” when I remembered that Bakura basically murdered all the other mean mini bosses from S1 except for Bandit Keith, who probably got deported by now.
I had to think long and hard just now about whether or not I’ve used that joke before because it is S4 and y’all I just don’t even remember.
(I have a very long story about Warby Parker that I just deleted fyi)
Rex is a Christmas plaid now because there are too many characters in this show.
Now that Rex and Weevil have been reunited, which is surprising because I just assumed these two have been Bert and Ernie-ing it up in some condo in the NYC, They say:
I almost forgot about the secret side-plot of Yugioh, that everyone is a cheese monger and very open about it.
So anyway, they’re off to have a very simple storyline of “I will try and Challenge Yugi Muto for God Cards” which...good luck with that, it only took 2 seasons for Yugi to finally accept his challenge from Seto Kaiba. Have fun following around Yugi Muto for 2 seasons.
When there’s a...really bizarre twist that happens. Just a very weird turn of events. Like recall that it’s the middle of the day, and the sun is shining, and there’s people and cars everywhere, and it’s a good neighborhood, and then, like playing Pokemon in tall grass, this guy just appears in front of them.
And guys, I’m from the Bay Area and I have slipped and fallen right on top of my phone on Fillmore which was DEVASTATING so like...their unstoppable speed walk down this 12 degree slope is...
I think they wanted to run into them, I really think they did. I think people in this town are so desperate for any excuse to fall into a horrifying disaster that they are just magnetically attracted to anyone wearing an oversized blanket.
Also this guy’s look is...kind of forgettable. It’s somehow weird and also forgettable at the same time. Hit that sweet spot for me. I don’t even remember this guy’s name, it was so forgettable. I’ll look it up later. Maybe bro will do it. I dunno. He wears a Monocle so like...that’s all I can say about this guy.
OK so I just checked in with Bro and then Bro made a weird rant about this guy being called Gurimo and how bro had some strong opinions about Season 4. Then Bro said a statement that really stuck with me, although I only remember part of the statement which was: “...this guy can just go get more monocles from Forever 21 and Hot Topic...” which made me very quickly realize my adult brother has never entered either a Forever 21 or a Hot Topic if he thinks a cultist in a monocle would purchase monocles from there.
I learned a lot and now you have to know this too.
And in case you’re wondering “did Rex and Weevil deserve this?” No. He just immediately decided to steal their soul on the sidewalk in front of Women’s Foot Locker from what I assume is just down the street from Yugi Muto’s house/game shop.
(how did this storyboarder nail the 3/4 degree angle on Weevil here? Do you know how hard that is to do with not just glasses but weird ass chunky glasses?)
Ah, a duel disk that can stab yourself in the stomach with two very poorly laid out barbs.
Very nice rival to Kaiba’s duel disk that will behead you if you don’t fling your arm out just right.
So like...did he steal a duel disk from Kaiba and then mod it? Is that what they did? The whole point of duel disks is that you’re linked up to the Dueling Facebook or whatever...so did this Cultist buy a normal duel disk from Toy’s R Us and then say “ahahah I’m going to do so much card crime!” and then start modding it with help of a cosplay forum? Like what’s the story here of how this guy spent all of last year (and definitely all of last season) modding this duel disk over a computer desk, some metallic acrylic paint, and a sauntering iron, feverishly asking his forum if anyone can 3d print some sick ass runes for his soul-sucking duel disk?
And then I guess this guy dueled both Rex and Weevil at the same time? Like this was all off screen...but why didn’t Rex and Weevil just leave? Just don’t pull out your duel disk and you’re probably good?
Just so many ways to have avoided losing your soul in the first ten minutes of Yugioh.
Anyway, on the other side of town, Tea is worrying about Yugi which is basically her normal.
Joey and Tristan decided to meet up with her, not because she was clearly in distress, but because Yugi isn’t around, and why worry about Tea when instead your friend Yugi is probably going to destroy the world the moment you turn around (and he did. Yugi absolutely effed everything up the very moment these three took their eyes off of him)
And what was weird is that it took Yugi until, I dunno...several streets over to kind of come out of the ether and be like “heeey Pharaoh...um...what’s up?” Like it took him this long to say something. Probably so that by the time they would have walked back to school math would have been over.
So...did Yugi just not notice at first? Like it’s sort of amazing what these two don’t know what the other one is up to. Including this situation that little Yugi absolutely should have picked up on.
As it turns out, the cards are speaking very audibly to Pharaoh. This should have been somewhat of a...youknow...red flag...since Yugi can’t hear them but Pharaoh can. But, Yugi’s like “well...we’re so used to everyone just giving us the answer and that being the right call, I guess this must also be the right call.”
And...although he had quite the head start, These three are more than willing to drop the hell out of class and rack up those absences. I’m gonna assume they had to make up another wild excuse about Tea’s cat to that one teacher to get out of school just like last time, but they did all that offscreen.
And then Tea just kind of snapped, and she did so with a smile the entire time.
Her wording was somewhat different, but she did basically say something along the lines of “if you don’t remember me telling you this a million times, you are an idiot” and Pharaoh didn’t have an answer and so it was like he said without saying anything “yes, I am.”
Which he will further prove like five minutes from now.
Like Y’all, bless his cursed perfect ass, but Pharaoh is the biggest idiot in this show. Sometimes he’s brilliant, but if he’s ever left to his own devices, just the biggest idiot. He got duped by some guy pretending to throw his voice so that his cards looked like they were talking to him. Pharaoh thought cards can talk.
And so that’s how Pharaoh freakin caused the Apocalypse. The first of many.
He did so just so very easily.
His cards started wigging out, the tablet started icing over--it was like “hey remember what took 2 seasons to build up to? Well screw it.”
Also this happened, apropos of absolutely nothing.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand cards are real.
I mean they’ve been real for a few seasons but now the cards are officially real and they’re not cute like Pokemon. They’re all really gross and roided out and they probably have a funky smell. All of them.
I knew we’d get here eventually I just didn’t know it would be SO fast.
When no one was paying absolutely any attention--when my entire focus was inside of this museum, that was when cards became real.
Well...
...time to shove em into little balls I guess. Anyways, that’s it for this update because this episode was a lot of stuff so I’m gonna split it so y’all have it easier and so I have it easier too.
And if you just got there this is S4, if you want to start reading these from S1, here’s a link to the collection in chrono order, it’s basically like reading a Victor Hugo length of book except its just me ranting about WTF is going on in OG Yugioh for 100+ episodes, knock yourself out.
#Yugioh#ygo#recap#photo recap#episode recap#S4#S4 Ep1#Yugi Muto#Joey Wheeler#Tristan Taylor#Tea Gardner#Arthur Hawkins#Rex Raptor#Weevil underwood#I can't believe I remember both of those dummies' last names#Gurimo#a single monocle
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Twitter Threads (or That One Time Tony Dialled It Up to Eleven)
Summary: Social media is hard and full of trolls, and Tony has poor impulse control.
Notes: I hate this so much. Less cracky than I wanted it, because I suck at writing humour. Fill K-3 for the Tony Stark Bingo 2019: Gossip Press. Unbeta'd as per usual. Any relation to existing twitter handles is entirely coincidental.
Warnings: Social Media, Twitter, Homophobic Language, Sexist Language, Ableist Language, Internet, Trolls, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Goes On A Rampage
No one can say that Tony’s ever had good impulse control, especially about people he loves.
@1234ideclareathumbwar posted:
I donno what it is about dr strange but he must suck dick like a pro if hes got iron man whipped god knows theres nothing attractive about him except those dick suckin lips #drstrange #ironman #wtfisstarkthinking
@100percentDONE-xxx replied:
yeah its not like he can give a decent handjob ffs must me the lips or maybe hes just tight every1 knows stark loves a tight whole hes prolly cheating neway poor cripple
@itsawrapandimreadytoparty replied:
Probably just lays there and thinks about the wizard gods just to get that $$$...I’d think of England even for a nymphomaniac drug-addicted sugar daddy too, tbh.
@BlessYouThor-ness replied:
still can’t believe he chose strange over THOR like everyone can see the chemistry between them and tony is such a bottom he’d take thor’s cock so well fuck yes
@they-did-the-thing777 replied:
is it just me or does strange look like an alien maybe there’s no magic at all just aliens and he’s got a tentacle dick and stark just wants to mark off another box on his worlds-biggest-slut checklist #tonystarkispathetic
@snowflakes_makeme_lol replied:
hes just fkn ugly i s2g stark id spread 4 but strange??? that bitch be ugly asf n not worth gettin my dk wet prolly get aids
@YouKnowWhoIAm replied:
You guys are the pinnacle of our evolution and I am in awe of your genuine kindness and polite generosity (and grammar). Wow, I can’t believe Stephen Strange saved all of your jerkass lives TWICE for this shit and you know what? Everyone knows I’M the cocksucker in this relationship, dumbfucks.
@kiki_blow_this_popsicle_stand replied:
HOLY SHIT LMAO
“What are you doing?”
He doesn’t bother looking up from his tablet, backing away from that thread because he has no interest in seeing the replies, and hunting for the next war he can wage. “Destressing,” he replies gleefully, clicking on a thread that mentions Pepper. He can feel Rhodey behind him – and, what’s more, he can feel the disapproval seeping out of his pores too now that he’s peeking over Tony’s shoulder – but he’s on a roll, and fuck impulse control when he can sass and bitch on twitter. Some people just need to be removed from the genetic pool of the human race and not be allowed to procreate, honestly.
Somewhere in bumbfuck-nowhere, Fury is having a coronary and Stephen is rolling his eyes so hard they’re permanently lodged in his cranium.
@rudethatyoureallamatwink posted:
Does anyone else think that Pepper Potts only got the job at Stark because she’s got awesome legs and a great twat and Tony Stark wanted to stick his dick in? #idfuckher #pepperpotts #starkindustries #idfuckhimtootbh #tonystark
@MyNameIsGoFuckYourself replied:
lol ur gross shes like 35 or smth but wvr u want crusty ol lose pussy u do u bro #oldchickgross #getbotox
@shredderinmymetal3-14 replied:
@MyNameIsGoFuckYourself lmao wtf?? He started fucking her when she was like twenty or something so she was still nice and tight back then. I mean I’d still fuck her right now cause she’s one hot cougar and I bet she’s learned a thing or two from the Slut Extraordinaire. And anyway, how tf do you know what her cunt’s like?? The only hole you’ve fucked is your mom.
@queeen-bee-says-hi replied:
Wow, you guys are pigs. Pepper Potts is a strong, independent, beautiful woman who is worth a thousand of all you, and your mothers would be ashamed of you all.
@gags_are_the_best_fight_me_bitch replied:
@queeen-bee-says-hi hey look theres the feminazi if you want i can replace that stick up your pussy with my dick you know you need it ill fuck you real good show you what a real mans like
@truthisanillusion replied:
I’ll fuck @queeen-bee-says-hi AND @OfficialPotts_CEO at the same time fucking feminazi cunts, god knows you bitches would be grateful for my prick in your gaping lesbian pussies
@YouKnowWhoIAm replied:
Wow. So. Uh.
1. That’s revolting and my AI just delivered the IPs of @gags_are_the_best_fight_me and @truthisanillusion to the authorities for premeditated violence, rape, and hate crimes. You’re welcome, and feel free to send a cash donation to the charity of your choice for my thoughtfulness. I’d recommend something for women’s or LGBTQ+ rights, and I’ll match it with a multiplier of 1000x.
2. @queeen-bee-says-hi, good for you, and I can see from your profile that you’re a student. Consider your crops watered and your schooling paid for, all the way to your twelfth PhD if you want it.
3. @OfficialPotts_CEO can and will murder you with her pinky nail. I’ve taken on Thanos and I’d rather go ten rounds with him than piss her off. THAT’S why she’s CEO, not because of her admittedly awesome legs.
4. I hate this hellsite. If I buy it, can I kill it?? Rhodey says “technically” so I’m gonna look into that now.
@i_stan_one_legend_named_virginia_p_potts replied:
IRON MANNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!! DEFEND THE QUEEN!!!!!!!!!!! #PEPPERPOTTS4PRESIDENT
@iaminlovewithcapandimunashamed replied:
lmfao incels be fkd when #ironman comes to town
@truthisanillusion replied:
Hey @YouKnowWhoIAm No one trusts you or likes you, you fake ass super “hero” taking it up the ass like a faggot stfu and die already, kthxbye
@queeen-bee-says-hi replied:
whAT OH MY GOD THAT IS NOT NECESSARY
@OfficialPotts_CEO replied:
Tony, stop picking fights and threatening to buy twitter or I’ll ground you. And just accept the gift, @queeen-bee-says-hi - after all, he’s already done it.
@YouKnowWhoIAm replied:
Shut up Pepper, you aren’t the boss of me.
@YouKnowWhoIAm replied:
And jokes on you @truthisanillusion because I’m already dead inside come at me bitch I’ll be the one in the multi-billion-dollar suit of armor surrounded by Avengers
@OfficialPotts_CEO replied:
Actually, I am. Don’t make me take away your toys. Or call @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel. He’s on speed-dial, sweetheart, and he likes me better than you.
@YouKnowWhoIAm replied:
Rude.
@Sorcerer_Surpreme_With_A_Scalpel replied:
The last time you threatened someone, your house got blown up. Please refrain from egging on internet trolls or I’ll dump you for Rhodes for my own sanity.
@YouKnowWhoIAm replied:
ALSO RUDE.
“You know, I’m not even remotely bi-curious and I would totally tap that,” Rhodey says absently, though his lips are quirking into a smirk.
Tony rolls his eyes. “Hands off, you little shit, or I’ll tweet about that one time in MIT when you ate that—”
“Fuck you.”
“Been there, done that,” Tony quips cheerfully. “Not remotely bi-curious my ass—”
“You know what’s better than picking fights with twelve-year-olds on twitter? Kicking your ass right here. You come at me, Stank.”
Tony opens his mouth to reply but then gasps, already losing himself in another thread after sending a middle finger emoji into the last one.
@mwahahaha-666 posted:
You guys can wax poetry about Tony Stark all you want, but screw that basic-ass rich boy - everyone knows Doctor Strange is the smokin’ hot one. #takemenow #mybodyisready #drstrange
@ukulele_jedi_master replied:
PREACH!!! stark may be loaded but stephen is the one that looks like a prada model giMME THAT MAGICAL DICK
@xxx-foreverfit-xxx replied:
Fuck both of you. I just wanna be a fly on the wall when they’re fucking each other...or better yet, DIRECT them on how to ruin each other #ironstrange #otp
@highpercentageofuselessnessachieved replied:
i wonder if he can clone himself like can u imagine?? being fucked from all ends by #drstrange cock?? what i wouldn’t give to be tony stark omfg i don’t even want the money just the hard dickin from that fine piece of ass
@its_a_fact_that_captain_america_has_a_big_dick replied:
He’s got Iron Man wrapped around his little finger so he must have the biggest dick and the know-how to use it properly. Yes pls and thank you very much, I’ll take that monster dick pronto.
@TGBYHN_4_LYFE replied:
dude i tell u what i would do what @xxx-foreverfit-xxx said: sit in the corner w a ridign crop in 9’’ stilettos rubbin myself while directing them 2 do what i want...make em touch n stroke n suck n bite n fuck each other til they cant walk anymore n then cuddle w them n stroke their hair
@catcatcatcat-cat replied:
I would give my college education, my life, my cow, and my internet access away for the rest of my life for a sex tape
@xxx-foreverfit-xxx replied:
@TGBYHN_4_LYFE omfg fuCK YES CAN YOU IMAGINE listening to them moan as they lost themselves in each oter, so fucking desperate to get off that they’re begging you to let them cum even as they try their hardest to obey, covered in precum and sweat and hot as fuck
@bigfoot_is_nessie1987 replied:
I s2g the amount of fanfiction I write about those two alone should have me committed but I literally can’t stop the two of them are so fucking hot together that it should be illegal god bless Iron Man and Dr Strange and their sexy, sexy chemistry and sexy, sexy bodies #killme
@one-upon-a-time-in-asgard2 replied:
They are the hottest couple in the history of the universe and so fucking pure I love them both so much also @bigfoot_is_nessie1987 I demand a link to your fics cuz I’m always looking for more ironstrange porn #otp #ironstrange
@YouKnowWhoIAm replied:
@Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel Hey, they think you have a big dick. Little do they know that they’re totally right and that you also have the added bonus of actually BEING a big dick too! #dontthreatentoleavemeforplatypus #orilltagyouinthirstposts #awesomethirstposts #stephenhasabigdick #andiloveit #goodshit
@mwahahaha-666 replied:
OH MY DUCKING GOD
@its_a_fact_that_captain_america_has_a_big_dick replied:
Well, I’d be mortified that Tony Stark is replying to this except Tony Stark is acTUALLY REPLYING TO THIS BLESS YOU IRON MAN
@Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel replied:
One of these days I’m going to murder you with your own bravado and not lose a night’s sleep over it. And fine, I won’t touch Rhodes...I’m sure Rogers is free anyway, and he’s always so polite when I visit.
@bigfoot_is_nessie1987 replied:
Please don’t read my fanfiction I will literally combust in embarrassment also I am dying over here in Copenhagen omfg
@YouKnowWhoIAm replied:
BRO CODE, DUDE. YOU’RE VIOLATING THE BRO CODE. I HATE YOU SO MUCH AND I WANT A DIVORCE.
@catcatcatcat-cat replied:
...oh my god what does that mean you guys are MARRIED??!?! BLESS THE WIZARD GODS!!!!
@Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel replied:
Rhodes, I know you’re reading over his shoulder, so if you could please take away his phone now before he ends up on the cover of the Times...or breaks the internet. Again. Thank you in advance.
Tony reacts immediately, trying to make a break for it, but Rhodey’s already tackling him into the couch, a hundred and ninety pounds of lean muscle and pretty Class As. Tony hisses breathlessly, the wind knocked out of him, and he struggles valiantly to keep his hands on his tablet while Rhodey does his best to rip it away. He doesn’t have a very good position so he makes a hair-brained, split-second decision to throw his body weight to the side, making them both roll off the couch. Rhodey’s a jerk though, and manages to react fast enough so that Tony takes the brunt of the impact, and he can’t even help but groan in a mixture of mild pain and disappointment as he feels the tablet being removed from his lax fingers.
“Sucks to be you, Stank,” he says breathlessly, fingers flying over the keyboard, and Tony cranes his neck until he can read Rhodey’s reply (and on Tony’s fucking account what in the hell!):
@YouKnowWhoIAm replied:
I think I broke your hot mess of a husband, Stephen. Come collect him before he murders me with his eyes or gets his hands on another electronic device. We’re in the lab.
Three seconds later, Stephen walks through a portal, looking oh-so-fucking-gorgeous in his battle robes, and wearing a scowl of irritation that bodes well for rough, mock-angry sex in the near future.
Tony grins unapologetically, and abandons the lure of social media in exchange for his pseudo husband.
It’s an easy choice.
Also read on ao3.
Feel free to prompt me things on my Bingo Card!
#tony stark#stephen strange#rhodey#james rhodes#pepper potts#ironstrange#social media#twitter#homophobic language#sexist language#ableist language#internet#trolls#protective tony stark#tony stark has a heart#tony goes on a rampage#rowan writes#tony stark bingo 2019#tsb19#this is utter shit
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Casting The Batman: Allies and Villains
Last week I started suggesting actors to replace Ben Affleck as Batman, for Matt Reeves' upcoming THE BATMAN. I offered 12 suggestions, of which my personal favourite remains Karl Urban (from the new STAR TREK films, and DREDD).
Now, however, I turn my attention to the supporting cast... starting with characters that already exist within the DCEU (remembering, we don't actually know for certain if this movie is included within that).
ALFRED PENNYWORTH
Alfred is (officially) Bruce Wayne's butler, but he also runs the Batcave, and help makes Batman's suits, and some of his weapons. For a long while, he's the only person that knows Bruce's big secret, and has cared for the young Wayne boy ever since the death of his parents.
Jeremy Irons plays Alfred so far in the shared universe, playing him in both BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE and JUSTICE LEAGUE. The character has previously be played by Alan Napier (60s TV series), Michael Gough (Tim Burton and Joel Schumacher's movies) and Michael Caine (THE DARK KNIGHT Trilogy).
But who could take on the role in THE BATMAN? Here are some suggestions...
PATRICK STEWART
Well, why not? I mean, I may be suggesting him because I'm a Trek fan, and the actor may feel playing Bruce Wayne's butler and bit of a come down from playing Professor X, leader of the X-MEN... still, he's English, could totally play a butler, and would be believable in bossing Batman around as he gets himself into some dangerous situations.
At 78, Stewart's getting on a bit (8years older than Irons), and if Reeves' decides on a younger Batman, he may go with a younger Alfred too...
COLIN FIRTH
Yep, you heard me, Colin Firth. He's edging towards 60, which sets him as a good age for Batman in his 30s. Firth is your typical stiff-upper Englishman, and just in case Alfred needs to get involved in fist-cuffs he proved he can manage a bit of action here and there when he took the part of Galahad in KINGSMAN. Originally I was going to suggest Hugh Grant, but then immediately switched to Firth and am actually starting to really like the idea.
COMMISSIONER JAMES GORDON
To many, JK Simmons will always be J Jonah Jameson from the SPIDER-MAN movies, but Simmons also happens to be James Gordon in the DCEU. He's only had one appearance as yet (JUSTICE LEAGUE) so it's always possible he and Irons will continue over to Reeves' Batflick. But just in case, I'll make a couple of suggestions for the future Batgirl's father, to join the ranks of Neil Hamilton (60s), Pat Hingle (80s/90s) and Gary Oldman (Nolan's movies).
TOM SELLECK
I like Tom Selleck, always have. Not seem him in that much though. It was cool in MAGNUM PI, and one of my favourite guest stars in FRIENDS. For me, I think Selleck has the spot on look for Gordon. Well, an elderly Gordon. Selleck is 74 now. Which actually would place him nicely with my suggestion of Stewart for Alfred. I could see Selleck as a police Commissioner.
Looking for someone a little younger?
JOSH BROLIN
Brolin's in his 50s and that would place him nicely opposite Firth's Alfred. Also, Brolin's collecting comic book characters right now. He's played Cable in DEADPOOL 2, and famously decimated half of existence in AVENGERS: ENDGAME. Fighting crime on the streets might be a little low key for him now. Still, I reckon he'd rock the 'tache.
Now moving on to the villains. But who the villains? Originally the villain that had been announced was Slade Wilson aka Deathstroke - to be played by Joe Manganiello. That was when Affleck was in line to write and direct though, and explains the post-credit scene with Deathstroke and Lex Luthor (Jesse Eisenberg). Matt Reeves has apparently suggested that he'd like to include the following rogue...
THE PENGUIN
Oswald Cobblepot was played by Burgess Meredith in the 60s and the (somewhat iconic) turn Danny DeVito in the 90s. I have only one suggestion for the role here...
TOBY JONES
This isn't the first time I've suggested him, and I will continue to suggest him until he (or someone else) is cast. Jones is a good actor, and think has a Penguin-esque vibe about him. So much so, I'm not even going to suggest anyone else.
Now, typically, we can usually expect a second villain in a Batman movie, and everything is pointing to one of my favourites....
THE RIDDLER
What Reeves has described his Batflick as being, certainly points to The Riddler. I certainly have my fingers crossed. I'm still frustrated that Nolan didn't bring the character in for his trilogy. Before that, Edward Nygma appearing in the 90s as played by Jim Carrey, and in the 60s, played by Frank Gorshin.
This isn't the first time I've suggested actors for the part...but here's two I've never thought of, until recently...
JAMES MCAVOY
McAvoy has actually suggested himself for the part. He likes how DC do their villains, and might be setting his sights on the upcoming movie, now that it looks like his role as Charles Xavier is coming to and end (thanks to the Fox/Disney merger). McAvoy is a fantastic actor, as demonstrated in SPLIT and GLASS where he tackles multiple personalities in a masterclass. If Warner Bros. grabs JM for The Riddler, that would pretty exciting.
Alternatively...
DAN STEVENS
I was originally going to suggest Stevens as potential (out of the box) option for Bruce Wayne, but then immediately switched to him playing Nygma. He's also a good actor... and I think, if you want an example of how he suits the role just look at his lead role in the mind-bending LEGION series (another X-MEN property, it so happens).
So there you go, these are my suggestion for the characters that could pop up in THE BATMAN. I could go further, and try my hand at casting Vicki Vale or Lucius Fox, either of whom could turn up. Maybe I will, but for now, let me know what you think of these suggestions!
#the batman#batman#Matt Reeves#Alfred Pennyworth#dceu#Patrick Stewart#star trek#colin firth#Kingsman#Commissioner Gordon#james gordon#jim gordon#tom selleck#magnum pi#friends#josh brolin#picard#X-men#Charles Xavier#Avengers#infinity war#avengers endgame#deadpool 2#The Penguin#oswald copplepot#danny devito#Toby Jones#The Riddler#edward nygma#james mcavoy
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Skam season 3, episode 6 reaction
In terms of length, this is a short episode, but watching it in real time, every day highlighting Isak’s misery, felt like an eternity. Luckily Isak and Jonas’ friendship intervened to give us one of the most heartwarming scenes of the series.
SEASON 3, EPISODE 6 - “Escobar season”
Clip 1 - YOU CAN HATE ME NOW
It was a loooooong 10 days between the last clip of episode 5 and this one. Like, Trump got elected in that time, guys. I distinctly remember thinking to myself, “Goddamn, I wish Skam wasn’t on hiatus so I could have something positive to take my mind off this shit.” Which might seem frivolous, but sometimes you need a little escapism from your impending national nightmare, instead of following the news in despair for 10 hours a day and stress-eating whole bags of discount Halloween candy (which is what I actually ended up doing).
The mid-season hiatus is set up so if you’re watching in real time, you can imagine that Isak legit took a week off school, but if you’re watching after the season ended, you can buy that maybe Isak just took a weekend off from the world, and either possibility still works. That shows some forethought on Julie’s part, since she knew this season would also be viewed post-real time experience.
So the music is by Nas, not N.W.A., but Isak’s intro here definitely reminds me of what he said to Even in episode 2 , about “music that you listen to when you want to walk around feeling tough.” This is totally a moment where Isak wants to toughen up, since he’s frankly pretty fragile at the moment. I love this scene because it is so deeply real. Most of us have done this, blasted the appropriate soundtrack to psych ourselves up for something we didn’t want to do, or attempted to alter our mood with a song. The fact that this is clearly a diegetic music moment, with Isak actually wearing his earbuds, makes him seem even more vulnerable to me, ironically. Like he needs that confidence boost.
Also, the fact that this is Nas just underscores Even’s influence on Isak, and that while Isak may be trying to deal with his heartbreak, Even’s presence is still there, weighing on him.
“Escobar season has returned … it’s been a long time.” Obviously it hasn’t been that long, but it is a cheeky little nod to the hiatus, as well as the official clip title - “Returned.”
By the way, if people are wondering exactly what “Escobar season” means, here’s a little information about it. The summary is that it’s a persona Nas took on that’s like a Scarface personality, “Escobar” taken from famous Colombian drug lord Pablo Escobar - who interestingly was the subject of one of Isak’s oft-mentioned TV shows, Narcos.
The Escobar facade was fully formed and ubiquitous on Nas’ 1996 album It Was Written—he endorsed the now-defunct Willie Esco clothing line around the same time. 1998’s “Hate Me Now” famously begins with the phrase, “Escobar Season has returned,” and the Esco name is retired on the hook of 1999’s “Nastradamus.” Nas says Pablo Escobar represents his first awareness of a larger-than-life crime boss who wasn’t a fictional character.
This scene is framed nicely, with Even and his friends on one side of the screen, Emma and her friends on the other (the two “love interests” of this season opposite each other as they represent different sides of Isak) and with Isak stepping in the middle of the frame, not fitting into either group.
Man, I know Isak has fucked up, but like …. this song comes on, and I see him look nervously from Emma to Even, and my heart swells for this kid. I feel so bad for him. This feels so relatable for anyone who’s ever had a problem at school - a fight with a friend, a break-up - and had to go back where they knew they’d see the person again. Or embarrassed themselves, or been bullied, and had to face the judgment of your peers. It does feel like simply showing your face again requires an incredible amount of bravery from a teenager. (See also: Eva in S1, Sana in S4). And in Isak’s case, he has to face two people who know he is gay: Emma, who is angry and could use it against him, and Even, who he wants and seemingly doesn’t want him anymore.
The lyrics might sound over the top for this situation, but of course teenage problems are always the end of the world, and Isak actually does have some real shit to deal with. When Nas says, “Looks like the death of me now,” it probably does feel like that for Isak. I’d also say this is perhaps how he felt prior to coming out at the end of the episode - it could be the end of everything as he knew it, but there’s no turning back now. This is who Isak is.
“There’s no turning back now” - the lyrics that pop up when Isak first looks at Even, happen to be similar to what Isak and Even said to each other in episode 2, on their first “date” of sorts making those cheese toasties. “We can’t turn back now” - the words that made Isak cancel his plans with the boys and Emma so he could be with Even, and also the path that’s made him so currently miserable.
Let’s just note that Isak looks tired and worn and has his hood pulled up, keeps his head down as he walks across the courtyard, and Even looks to be in terrific shape, talking with people. Which has to rub salt in the wound. Even is doing just fine, seemingly, while Isak is suffering. You know Isak is questioning whether he meant anything to Even at all.
“This is what makes me … This is who I am.” Awwww, Isak. Baby.
Isak keeps his eyes ahead of him as he walks through the yard. Not on Emma or Even, though they notice him. Like the only way he’s going to get through this is if he pretends they’re not there.
Emma notices Isak and you have to wonder what’s on her mind, because really, she kind of falls away in the second half of the season? We hear about her but after this clip she doesn’t appear until the last episode. Has she already told people Isak is gay and set the rumor mill in motion, or is that yet to come?
I am always, always going to laugh at how the lyrics “DIE MOTHERFUCKER DIE” sync with Even on screen, lol. You know Isak is internally kinda like FUCK YOU EVEN!!!! but also why even … why?
But also, Even probably did not expect Isak to be this downcast about their breakup. In real time, Isak has been gone for a week, and Even almost certainly noticed. You can practically see his heart stop when he notices Isak here. And it likely hurts that Isak is pointedly not looking at Even.
Oh my God, the kid crashing into Isak and interrupting his power walk is so funny, but you feel so bad for Isak! He just wanted to pump himself up before entering the school where all these people are mad at him or don’t want to talk to him, and some rando ruins the effect. Talk about adding insult to injury. A cherry on top of the shit sundae. Again, I love it because it’s such a realistic moment, and of course Isak’s woes aren’t going to be solved by the right soundtrack. Reality intervenes.
It’s like the little girl interrupting the movie moment of the pool kiss - the music just cuts off when the illusion is destroyed. Weirdly that warms my heart a little, because the pool was Even’s attempt to recreate a movie moment, this was Isak’s attempt to create a tough guy scene, and both of them got cut short by reality. Lmao, boys.
Emma looks like she’s too engrossed with her friends to notice Isak’s collision, but Even likely saw the dude crash into Isak. Just to embarrass Isak further.
Poor Isak goes into the school and the first thing he sees is Jonas. Jonas isn’t hostile, but he’s a little distant. Reserved.
On the saga of Isak’s locker of character development, he takes a lesson from Even and bangs it open. Isak isn’t all the way there with coming out, but between the last time we’ve seen him and the locker, he’s kissed a boy for the first time and almost gotten himself a boyfriend. Even showed him how to open his locker and Isak took him up on it. Soooo… progress? He also bangs it open when Jonas is present.
Isak wants to know if Mahdi is still mad at him and Jonas says they’re not mad at him. He then takes a long pause before saying that they’re worried, like you know Isak’s weird behavior has been pressing on him and he’s finally just going to say it.
Isak tries to play it off and blames “family stuff” again and you can tell Jonas is disappointed and concerned that Isak is resorting to the same old lie.
“And I can’t sleep either.” Well, this part is actually true. It’s just you need to explain why you can’t sleep, Isak.
Jonas, a good bro, knows Isak is talking shit and not telling the whole truth, but he doesn’t argue. Just lets him know that he’s there to talk. Which is really all Jonas can do at that point. You can see Isak weighing it over as Jonas leaves, too, like … maybe Isak should talk to him. Or maybe he shouldn’t because that’s frightening. But Jonas had made it clear that he’s open to hearing the truth when Isak’s ready to share, and that’s what Isak needs to remember when Skrulle starts talking about people being islands.
Clip 2 - Noorhelm and Evak parallels
Isak really cannot sleep with all this anxiety and misery in his head. We don’t get late-night clips that often in Skam, but they were employed very well in S3 to illustrate Isak’s insomnia. That’s one of the coolest things about the real-time format, that we can get canon delivered at unconventional times to reflect the character’s reality and put us deep in their emotional state.
And of course Noora’s conversation is like … the worst thing that Isak could be hearing at that moment, since what she’s saying about her relationship with William also happens to apply to his relationship with Even.
“When you are in love, you believe that love will be like in the movies. But that’s not how it works.” This would be a solid point to make regardless of context, but it especially has to hit home for Isak, with his Romeo + Juliet watching and recreating in the pool. There was an element of fantasy with Even, of being in a love story like in the movies with a guy who views life like a film. But now the fantasy is gone.
What did Noorhelm shippers think at this point? S2 was all about Noora and William and gave them a happy ending, but now in S3, the way Noora describes what’s happened to them, it’s almost like a deconstruction of the tropes from S2. Noora is talking about how she thought she’d be with William forever, but no one lives happily ever after. Honestly, it would be a pretty interesting subversion to do a story like that on Skam, the fairy tale romance that ends up falling apart … but I wouldn’t want to spend a whole season building up to their happy ending, and then having it crumble in the background of someone else’s story. I think it’d be better if they got together by the halfway point (before the hiatus) and then showed the fall of the relationship through the rest of the season.
I mean, this is all because Thomas Hayes left the show, though, and was probably not part of Julie’s original plan. Makes you wonder how this scene was planned, though. Did Julie ever think Thomas would come back? Because this scene has somewhat different context with the Noorhelm reunion in S4, and in a scenario where Thomas didn’t return.
“There’s nobody who is willing to make any sacrifices for love in 2016.” I don’t know why, but that part of Noora’s dialogue hurts the most? It does for Isak, too, since it’s the breaking point from when he goes from trying to bury his head in his pillow to getting up and telling her to stop. Maybe because to Isak, it seems like he was willing to sacrifice for Even by lying to his friends and making them angry with him, abandoning this heterosexual farce he was performing, potentially coming out, getting into a relationship with a boy despite all the problems that may come with that … but Even just couldn’t sacrifice his relationship with Sonja. For a brief moment, it seemed like he would choose Isak, but he didn’t.
Maybe also because “nobody is willing to make sacrifices for love” is pretty disheartening to hear when you’re young and going through heartache. It makes you think this is how it’s going to be the rest of your life, it’ll never get easier. Especially painful for a closeted gay kid to hear since he’ll have additional complications in finding love.
I think Noora’s words are obviously the main reason behind what’s making Isak stressed out right now, but it can’t help to hear that Eskild’s brought a guy home. Eskild has someone and Isak is sleeping alone.
Yeah, Isak could be less of an asshole in his delivery, but he’s not wrong. Take your conversations elsewhere at 2 am. Not to sound old but it’s a school night, Noora!
Noora is pretty shocked by Isak’s attitude, though. You can see the smile drop off her face. I don’t think Noora is obsessing over Isak’s personal life or anything, especially since she’s caught up in her own drama, but I think she picks up here that Isak is going through something that’s bigger than her just talking on the phone at night.
While I don’t know if Noora and Isak would ever be best friends, I do enjoy some of the moments they have together. I like to think that Noora taking care of Even when Isak couldn’t be there, and Isak demonstrating how much love there was in that grumpy teenage boy body of his, gained some lasting respect on both ends. And on the flip side, Noora ribbing Isak about his nightstand toilet paper and Isak taking it in stride in S4 is endearing.
Isak really is a good kid. He knows he lashed out and calms down after his outburst. He even says, “Say hi to Eva,” lmao? Like RARRRRRGH STOP TALKING ON THE PHONE NOORA … okay, sorry, say hi to our mutual friend.
The fact that he pauses to tell her that William is an idiot if he gives up on her is genuinely sweet. Of course there’s some projection behind it (trying to convince himself that Even is an idiot and not worth staying up all night stressing if Even gave up on him) but it’s also just a kind, courteous thing to say, since he recognizes someone else struggling over being in love, and Noora accepts his words as such.
Obviously everyone is free to like or dislike characters for whatever reasons, but moments like this are why I don’t get why some people repeatedly bring up Isak’s shitty S1 behavior as a reason why he’s the Worst (especially in the context of “How can you like Isak but not this other character when Isak has also done bad things?”). Isak repeatedly course-corrects from his mistakes and shows consideration toward other people’s feelings, listens to their advice and perspectives, and is kind to them despite his grumpy exterior. He’s not a selfish person. I’m fine with characters who make mistakes if they apologize, show empathy to others, and try to be better people.
Clip 3 - The cheese toastie of sadness
This scene is pretty short, but the first time I watched it, I spent like a minute and a half wondering “Where is this going?” only to freak out with Even’s appearance. Oh. That’s where it was going. It lulls you into a sense of mundane drudgery only to throw a curveball, which is what Isak must be feeling. Going about his boring day, feeling like shit, only for a surprise Even encounter to throw everything off-balance.
That random guy’s voice really does sound like Henrik’s, to the point where I’m wondering if Henrik said the line and they dubbed it over (since we don’t see the dude actually say anything but “Sweet”). If not, damn, that’s a close match.
It really throws Isak, it’s like a jolt of potential Even. But it’s just a false alarm. Of course, Julie gives us a false alarm to throw us off the real appearance of Even that’s going to happen in a minute.
Plot twist - this guy is Julian Dahl and he was hoping to make a move on Isak, except Even showed up.
Here’s where Skam’s ability to not rush things really helps, because this is a small scene where the majority is focused on an everyday boring task, but it establishes Isak’s mood, give a sense of how empty and dull his life feels at the moment, isolated from his social connections and love interest. The long pauses of nothing but agonizing silence feel like forever. Just waiting in line for a cheese toastie is an ordeal.
We also see just how out of it Isak is, how that reminder of Even throws him off balance - not responding to the cafeteria worker right away, dropping his money, giving her the wrong amount.
I swear my heart jumped when Even appeared, just like Isak’s must have.
Do you think Even meant to walk up to Isak or he just happened to run into him? The former makes more sense as to why he’d be right there at the front of the cafeteria line, but Even also looks so startled and caught off guard. Or maybe he just wasn’t quite prepared to be so close to Isak again, face to face.
It really does not help that Even again looks very healthy and well put together, and Isak just looks devastated. His demeanor is so muted and physically he looks drained, like he hasn’t been sleeping. Even is feigning some energy but Isak can barely summon it.
It does wrench my heart that Isak isn’t even angry at Even here, or pretending to be fine, or anything other than depressed. He doesn’t have the strength for anything else.
Yeah, that is the saddest looking cheese toastie ever. I’d eat it if I had no other options but it’s like the food equivalent of tears.
Even tries to reestablish some friendly contact with that kardemomme reference, which is especially relevant because hey, it’s not just any old small talk, it’s their inside joke, which Even remembers. It’s a personal connection.
Oh God, and it makes me so sad that Isak gives a half-hearted laugh of recognition and tries to recreate the “kardemomme!” line but his voice is broken and not energetic.
True story: when I watched this the first time, I actually yelled, “No!!!” at my computer screen when Isak says “Kardemomme!” in that weak voice. Like, way to cause a pang in my heart, Skam. That was their beautiful bonding moment!!! It made us smile, and now it’s just a shell of its former self. You took something good and used it for evil, Skam.
Even’s smile at Isak’s attempt is genuine but falls as he realizes how messed up Isak is and how this just isn’t the same as before.
What do you think Even wanted to say before Isak ran off? I honestly have no idea. I feel like he wanted to connect with Isak on a more substantial level, IDK, maybe ask how he’s been, but who knows? There are many possibilities. Go for another joke, go for a neutral topic. Try to communicate that he still wants Isak, try to avoid that territory. But Isak couldn’t let him get another word out.
The fact that Isak can’t take anymore and runs off without waiting makes my soul turn to dust. And Even looks back at him before leaving.
I think Even really was rattled by this encounter. Like ... Isak was rough. Even broke up with him as a means of protecting them both, but clearly it didn’t work as well as he hoped since Isak is suffering. You know he’s thinking to himself, You did this. You made him hurt like this. And I think this is when Even starts to reconsider whether it was the right move to break up with him. Maybe even for himself, because he misses Isak so much and having Isak not want to talk to him, barely able to look at him, is too much to handle.
Clip 4 - The queen of Skam returns
Time for the Norwegian goddess of wisdom to make another appearance!
Lmao, the opening conversation is about someone pissing her pants while exercising. The women blame it on a lack of Kegel exercises. This is all openly discussed in the waiting room within earshot of Isak. Somehow I think Dr Skrulle is in her element. Nissen’s medical staff must just attract ladies prone to TMI and bizarre anecdotes.
The “eye exam” poster in the office says YOU SHOULD BE WORKING NOW, by the way.
Oh man, this was the point when fans thought Isak was going to steal Linn’s sleeping pills, or get sleeping pills and OD on them! Such a tense week. Isak is so miserable that it felt like something drastic could happen. We were all yelling for something good to happen this week.
I feel like when you step into this doctor’s office, time and space are slightly altered.
Truly there is nothing like Isak taking a seat and immediately within his line of vision is the good doctor and a dildo. He must feel like the presence of an artificial penis is the world is taunting him again.
This scene’s funny because Isak gets to play the straight man (ha ha) to the doctor. She exists in her own world and Isak is just this befuddled teenager trying to make sense of her.
Isak can barely look at Skrulle when he’s telling her about his problems. I guess you could read this scene as Isak badly wanting those pills and playing up his distress so she’ll give them to him, but I think he really is that miserable, as evidenced by everything we’ve seen of him this week, and he has trouble opening up to anyone about his problems so this is probably a last resort for him.
“I don’t drive a car, though.” AS WE WILL LEARN IN S4.
I remember that one interview Tarjei gave where he was going over his traffic problems, and lol, I feel you, kid.
Legit nothing like a Skrulle story to put your problems in perspective. Also, A+ segue from the story of someone getting into an accident and ending up in a wheelchair to asking Isak more about his sleep problems. And by A+ segue I mean there is no segue at all.
Isak’s sleep has gotten worse over the past few weeks, for reasons that are quite obvious to the viewers. Even’s presence will do that to you.
The doctor wants to refer Isak to a mental health clinic, and he doesn’t want that. In fact, Isak is really, really against this, like … more than just not wanting to, he’s vehemently saying no over and over. This absolutely has to do with his ableist beliefs and his stigma against the mentally ill. Isak definitely isn’t going to be like one of those people. Isak can’t be mentally ill. He can’t talk to a therapist. Just like he didn’t want to be scene as one of those ultra-gay people, he can’t lump himself in with people who need help with their mental health. Those people are crazy.
I remember right after this scene I wondered if Isak would actually go to the mental health clinic where he would run into Even, and that’s how we would learn that Even also has mental health issues. I was going to say that it would have been an awkward moment for them ... but then I realized, it can’t be any worse than how Isak did learn about Even’s mental illness.
Note that in S1, the girls went together to provide support for Vilde, but here in S3, Isak has to do this on his own. Makes sense that Skrulle’s advice ends up being about him not isolating himself and reaching out to others.
You know, I think of the locker room scene as a turning point in the season, but this scene is quietly a turning point as well. Skrulle gives Isak advice that will help him throughout the rest of the season. He can’t keep isolating himself. It’s advice that will not only help Isak, but allow him to extend that help to Even, and even to Sana in the next season. Even though the good doc expresses it in a quirky way, it’s solid advice.
“Don’t you have someone you can talk to?” “TALK TO JONAS,” screamed everyone watching.
Clip 5 - Jonas is king of the bros
Watching this week in real time was so stressful, Isak was so melancholic and alone, and this scene was such. a. relief. It would’ve been wonderful in any context, but it felt like a godsend after seeing Isak go through hell clip after clip.
One of the most observant details about the clip is Isak’s hesitation. He’s about to do something big and it’s not easy to just launch into it. He stands and watches Jonas for a little bit because, you know, it’s Jonas and Jonas is his best bro, but that doesn’t crush all the doubts in his head about what Jonas’ reaction could be. Not to mention he and Jonas haven’t had the best relationship lately.
But Jonas is still friendly when Isak approaches him. Perhaps he realizes that this is when Isak is going to tell him about whatever’s on his mind. Plus, you know, I’m sure he missed Isak! They’re best friends, it can’t have been great from Jonas’ POV to feel shut out from him.
I don’t know if there was any strategy involved in getting kebab other than teenage boys needing kebab to live, but it works as an icebreaker/apology of sorts (since Isak is paying) and I think, a buffer? It helps if there’s an activity like eating happening when Isak comes out, and that he’s not just telling a personal secret with nothing else to occupy Jonas’ attention.
Also, that they’re sitting on a bench side by side in this scene reminds me of all those Tumblr posts about how common it is for LGBT people to come out in cars, and how it’s easier to do when you’re not face to face. Isak and Jonas are looking at each other and making eye contact, but I do think it helps to have your bodies facing forward rather than toward each other. It gives a little distance, makes it less intimidating for Isak.
I just want to shout out that poster in the kebab shop window, which says, “EVERYDAY IT’S KEBAB TIME.” You’re damn right it is.
I feel like Jonas is telling this random puke story to Isak so Isak can work up to whatever he’s going to say. You can tell Isak’s listening but he’s not 100% there.
By the way, this puke story sounds like it could be about Magnus, except Isak says, “It’s never the ones that you expect that throw up,” and Magnus is absolutely someone I would expect to ruin his chances with a girl by throwing up all over her feet. Maybe this story was about the mysterious Julian Dahl!
Continuing on the point above about Isak’s hesitation, the pacing of this scene is a huge part of what makes it so great. Because Isak doesn’t sit down and start coming out right away, he doesn’t have a speech prepared (not that that it’s wrong or unrealistic to prepare a speech, but with Isak, he’s not a preparedspeech kind of guy). He has to work up his courage piece by piece over this conversation. He lets Jonas bullshit a bit, there’s a long silence where Isak keeps glancing over at Jonas as they eat, and you know he’s working out his nerves, wondering about Jonas’ reaction, getting himself to the point where he can just say it. Tarjei’s acting in this scene is so subtle and spectacular.
Jonas is such a dear, though. Marlon does this scene really really well because Jonas isn’t like … overcompensating or overly enthusiastic, he’s not pressing Isak too much. He’s very casual, but you can also see, for instance, when Isak brings up that he’s been acting weird lately, that Jonas looks at him attentively, ready to listen, because finally Isak is going to open up.
Just saying “there’s a person that I like” is a big thing for Isak to get out. He doles the information out little by little, he makes Jonas work for it. I think that what Isak is aiming for is similar to what many viewers suspect he wanted from Eva in S1. In the kitchen scene where Eva confronts Isak about ratting her out to Iben, Isak asks her to guess why he did it. You can make a case that he wants her to guess the real reason, that he has feelings for Jonas and is jealous - that maybe a part of him wants her to know and to take it off his mind. But of course she doesn’t guess and he runs with a lie instead. Here, I wouldn’t be surprised if Isak wants Jonas to say it before he has to - that he can come out without needing to say the words.
This is a pretty heartwarming scene, but Isak actually breaks my heart a little when he asks Jonas to guess. There’s so much fragility wrapped up in that moment and in Tarjei’s performance! This poor kid is so nervous.
Although bless Jonas for guessing Vilde, because it probably did give Isak a little moment to be like WTF, no, and make him laugh.
After that, Jonas says, “Can’t you just tell me?” But of course no, Isak can’t just tell him, because that’s very hard.
I mentioned it in my episode 5 review but again, Isak doesn’t come out by saying he is gay and then going into his relationship with Even. Instead, he phrases everything in terms of actions, in some roundabout ways. he coming out is a step by step process. First, it’s that Isak is acting weird because he likes someone. Then “It’s not a girl.” He doesn’t even say, “It’s a guy,” he says it’s not a girl because that’s the less direct way of saying it, of course.
Isak gets so alert and on edge after he says it’s not a girl. Waiting and watching for Jonas’ reaction. Nervous as to what’s it going to be. Meanwhile Jonas just keeps eating that fucking kebab. Like Isak could have said, “The reason I’ve been acting so strange lately is that I found out Donald Trump is my uncle,” and Jonas would have been like munch munch munch.
I think the fact that Jonas reacts so nonchalantly when he says, “Is it me?” helps Isak quite a bit. Not only is it a funny comment, but like … if Jonas is so casual about Isak potentially liking him, then surely he can’t be that bothered by Isak liking another boy? And Jonas is just like, “What, am I completely unattractive?” Which again, is a joke but also lets Isak know that Jonas is chill, he’s not worried about Isak the predatory gay guy perving on Jonas or any of those homophobic stereotypes.
And obviously, this scene is hilarious if you’ve seen S1 and are calling bullshit on Isak not liking Jonas. No, Jonas, I don’t like you! WTF! Bruh, you set fire to Eva’s social standing and her relationship because you had a crush on her boyfriend.
But man, you can see Isak lighten up sooooo much after this exchange. He got the words out there and Jonas didn’t react badly, they managed to joke about it, so far everything is the same between them. The happiness in his eyes is observable.
I don’t think Jonas had completely guessed Isak was gay, or dating a boy, until this moment. I feel like there were a number of things that seemed odd to him, including that random guy who brought Isak his hat and was at the lockers with him, that Jonas filed away as “huh” moments and that are starting to slot into place with Isak’s admission here. We know that Jonas recognized the “left your hat in the cafeteria” story as bullshit (clarified in the script), so he’s been picking up here and there on things that seem unusual or out of place.
You can see Jonas mouth “Even” to himself after Isak says the name, and it’s such a small gesture but it’s the sweetest thing? Like he’s making sure to absorb this detail, or that he’s finally putting a name to a face, and to the cause of all Isak’s weirdness lately. There’s a warmth to it.
Lmao, Jonas saying Even is a good-looking guy and Isak reacting with laughter and bafflement. It’s a silly moment but Jonas is kind of complimenting Isak here, like hey, good taste, or hey, congrats on bagging such a hottie. Not to mention he’s showing how chill he is with talking about guys’ attractiveness, something Isak himself struggles with. Of course there are higher stakes for Isak to admit a guy is hot when he’s actually gay and Jonas is a straight dude, meaning it’s not as loaded of a statement, but still, it’s positive for Isak to be around guys who can just say other guys look good and have it not be the end of the world.
Also, this is probably how Jonas would react if Isak was telling him he liked a girl. You like Emma? She’s hot. Letting Isak in on all these bro bonding moments, not excluding him from this social exchange just because he’s not straight.
And I’m really fond of Jonas being like “What am I supposed to say?” and Isak saying, “I don’t know myself.” To them, they’re not a PSA. They don’t know the “right” words for when someone comes out. They’re just two friends eating kebab on a bench together. Because yeah, there are obvious wrong ways to react to someone coming out, but there’s also no approved script for what to say. Each person is going to be different. I mean, if Jonas made a big deal of it, like, “You are my friend no matter what and I support you,” it would have been a nice gesture, certainly, but that’s not really the relationship he and Isak have, so this would make it artificial and maybe a little awkward. In fact, not having a pre-approved coming out script is a good thing, because Jonas not knowing what to say means he draws on his normal banter and conversation with Isak, which makes it better! That way he’s just treating it like a typical conversation. By reacting casually and not making it a big deal at all, Jonas gives Isak what he needs - nothing is going to change between them, not really. Considering that one of Isak’s greatest fears is that people will think of him differently and judge him a certain way if they know he’s gay, this must be a massive relief to him.
Additionally, imagine what a relief it is for Isak to be able to give Jonas a rundown of what’s happening with Even. To get off his chest the problems with him and Even; Isak don’t know what’s going on with Even, who has a girlfriend. This is the benefit of him coming out and being honest with Jonas. Suddenly all this shit he’s been bottling up, unable to talk to anyone about, can go through another set of ears. Jonas doesn’t even need to give him great advice or anything. Isak just needs someone to talk to.
Can Isak take some of his father’s guilt money and buy a phone case? Please???
Isak swallows when he realizes what the note in his pocket is. In-universe, it’s really a coincidence that he found the note right after talking to Jonas, but thematically, I don’t think it’s irrelevant that Isak’s bleak week ends after he opens up to someone.
THIS DRAWING. Gosh, it punches me right in the heart? First of all, adorable, and I love that Even always draws Isak with the snapback, and cartoon Even’s hair, and how cartoon Isak is slightly smaller than cartoon Even. But this is actually quite creative and clever of Even, too. I mean, he could have left him a more straightforward note or drawing, but he takes an original concept that’s so them to create something very memorable.
Even has taken several things that are relevant and specific to Isak-and-Even - the inside joke of the cheese toast with cardamom - and a weightier concept that was important to Isak - the parallel universes. Remember, Even wasn’t a fan of the parallel universes when Isak first mentioned them! However, here he’s using them in a way that’s more positive, he’s seeing the benefit of Isak’s worldview.
But what gets me about this sketch is the longing behind it. We have the reality, Isak eating his plain cheese toast alone. And we have the potential other reality, Isak and Even eating their far superior cardamom cheese toast together. It’s something of a kindness to Isak, telling him that somewhere they are together, but also expressing Even’s own desire to be with him. He does want to be with Isak. It’s just that they can’t be together, for mysterious reasons. It’s so bittersweet! They’re together, just not this Isak and this Even.
Even drew this for Isak after seeing him broken and depressed in the cafeteria. I think he really did not know how badly Isak was going to take the breakup and wanted to give him some comfort. This drawing is evidence of Even’s second thoughts.
Lol, and Jonas can’t know the full significance of this sketch, but it doesn’t take a genius to recognize that Even’s giving him handmade drawings of him and Isak together, and to see that for what it is.
“He needs to break up with his girlfriend.” Awww. What a sweet, encouraging thing, to say, and Isak smiles to himself. Things are coming up Valtersen.
This clip is when the hearts on the website turned into rainbow colors, and that alone makes me want to weep. I believe this was one of the most liked clips ever, and logically I do think it was because people were like, “Oooo, pretty!” and hitting that like button to see the rainbow, but I mean. This clip also deserves it.
The fact that this scene is based off a real story also makes me want to cry.
This week was so bleak and hard to get through, Isak just was in a terrible place, and I cannot express the release that the audience felt watching this scene.
The music over the credits is “Express Yourself” by N.W.A. Excellent both because, yeah, express yourself and you’ll be happier, Isak! Be true to who you are! And because Isak had previously mentioned N.W.A. as an example of “music you want to listen to when you want to feel tough.” This is Isak feeling pretty damn confident after things went right.
General Comments
There was very little social media this week, which makes total sense considering the state Isak is in. He’s cut off from all of his social connections.
One of Isak’s most redeeming qualities is his ability to learn from his mistakes. In an example from this week’s social media, he’s apologetic to Eskild in a text message. Eskild ribs him about what Isak said, saying that Eskild is busy working on a mascara collection with Kylie Jenner, before saying that they’re cool, basically. I think Eskild did take Isak’s comments pretty hard but realizes that Isak is young and insecure and not unable to learn.
There is an IG photo from Jonas with Mahdi and Magnus - boy squad minus Isak, just to rub it in (though I doubt that’s why Jonas posted it, to hurt Isak, but it does show how disconnected Isak is).
One of the other few text convos is between Kollektivet, where Isak only supplies one line but Linn mentions taking sleeping pills. For like a day or two, the fan theories were all about Isak stealing her sleeping pills in order to get some rest and accidentally ODing and needing to go to the hospital or something similar.
Isak’s mom sends him a religious text at almost 2 in the morning on Friday, hours before he comes out to Jonas. On the one hand, her texts are another source of stress to Isak. On the other, this text is … actually pretty positive? It’s a Bible verse, Joshua 1:9, which is:
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
A lot of Isak’s mom’s texts are about sin, they’re negative and judgmental in nature. This one, by contrast, is affirming. So I think that, even with Mama Valtersen’s texts being a cause for alarm, it’s possible that this text helped Isak before he came out to Jonas. Even with Isak not being a religious person, a general message of being strong and courageous can be an inspiring thing. If that’s the case, then I like that his mom could end up being a source of comfort to her son even prior to episode 9.
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...let’s do this...
“Dan Slott’s decade-long tenure on writing Spider-Man recently came to an end, swapping the prolific writer out with former Captain America/Secret Empire scribe Nick Spencer. The first issue of his and artist Ryan Ottley’s much hyped run, Amazing Spider-Man #1, took Peter Parker back to the basics. The hero has lost Parker Industries, is under investigation for academic fraud, was fired from the Daily Bugle, and other New York heroes hate him because they think he’s buddy-buddy with Kingpin of Crime turned New York mayor, Wilson Fisk.”
First of all Peter lost Parker Industries during Slott’s run so i dunno why this ‘article’ is framing things as though that is a development from Spencer’s run.
Second of all heroes hate Spidey because Kingpin made it look as though they were friends, its not as though Spider-Man really was friend with Fisk as this article frames it.
“The issue ends with the two kissing and Peter declaring that this is “their story,” emphatically saying what the suspicions have been for some time: the new run of Amazing Spider-Man will begin to undue the events of the controversial “One More” and “Brand New Day” storylines that Slott became infamous for, which saw Mephisto destroy Peter and MJ’s marriage in exchange for bringing Aunt May back to life.”
*pinches bridge of nose* ohmygodohmygodohmygod.
Okay so...Dan Slott WASN’T RESPONSIBLE FOR OMD OR BND!
M**********r Wikipedia could have told you that! HOW?! HOW do you not know that Joe Quesada wrote OMD!
HOW do you not know this piece of comic book osmosis that everyone knows! My God!
Furthermore aunt May didn’t effing die in OMD. That was literally the point. They mad ethe deal to SAVE her from death. Not undo it!
I know people who’ve not even read the story and THEY know that!
Also Dan Slott became infamous but it had nada to do with OMD but other stuff.
Also also the story hasn’t shown or promised to undo anything yet but clickbait gotta clickbait.
Also, also, also UNDO ISN’T SPELT THAT WAY!
Holy fuck how do you write for the front page of the biggest comic book news site, get paid for it and not spell check shit?!
“And like those now infamous wedding issues for Batman and X-Men, the move to bring Peter and MJ back together doesn’t really work. There are couples who’ve gotten back together after a time apart, but the issue itself piles so much misfortune on Peter’s doorstep it feels like Peter should be looking into a therapist or anxiety medicine instead of making out with his ex.”
-Is what someone who’s never read Spider-Man would say.
Like Peter went though a lot of bad stuff in ASM volume 5 #1 but:
a) Asshole please, this is nowhere near the worst most stressful or therepy worthy shit Peter has lived through. Supporting his sickly recently widowed mother figure financially whilst going to school, getting bullied, having a crappy boss, dealing with an unreasonable girlfriend and ALSO fighting crime in a city that feared and hated him for no reason. THAT is anxiety and that is also known as the start of Spider-Man’s entire story you fucking hacks!
b) So when you’ve had an awful day and everything has fallen apart getting TLC from someone you deeply love and who deeply loves you...doesn’t make sense. Okay sure.
c) Justin Carter where the fuck did you learn how to read subtext? Shit, nevermind the subtext, where did you learn to read the text bro! The story spells it out for you. Peter’s life is bad, he keeps making the same mistakes again, he wants things to change to be better. So he steps up to the plate and puts the effort in to MAKE it better, specifically by chasing the thing he wants most, the thing he’s yearned for and literally dreamed about (as CLEARLY SHOWN on the first effing pages!). He reunited with the love of his life. For the fuck is that something that DOESN’T work!
d) Exempting the X-Men wedding the Batman wedding issue in my observation totally worked from a characterization pov even if it wasn’t the result fans wanted to deserved.
“Peter and MJ Are A coulee Again! And It's The Wrong Move...”
It isn’t the wrong move and I see no reason why anyone should take this article’s claims that is is seriously when it can’t even spell the word couple!
“Like all relationships, the ones between superheroes and their non-powered partners are full of drama. In the decade since their split, Peter and MJ had many relationships that provided what neither could offer the other at the time. MJ got to date men who were reliable and had the stability that Peter couldn’t entirely provide, and Peter was with those who were more accustomed to or in the line of superheroic work as he.”
Go fuck yourself CBR seriously.
Let’s start with Peter. What in the flying fuck is this shallow, Celebrity gossip rag, juvenile, simplistic, unlearned horseshit of a mentality towards superhero relationships over the last several years that has the absolute biggest hard on ever for the idea that heroes have to date heroes.
Especially Spider-Man.
Whenever the mere idea of Spider-Man dating another hero crops up that is literally the ONLY thing people talk about.
They have so much in common because they are both heroes.
Well shit...why doesn’t he date literally any of the women in the multiple Avengers teams he was a member of. No Carol Danvers doesn’t count, it was one date.
I’ll tell you why.
Because if any of these jackasses knew what the fuck they were talking about with Spider-Man’s character, both in terms of who he is as a person and the entire concept behind him, they’d know that civilian women are both his preference and more in line with the idea of him as a hero who could be you.
YOU in the real world do not date goddam superheroes. You date normal people. Therefore Spider-Man also dates normal people.
‘But what about Black Cat’, I hear you cry out.
Yeah Felicia let’s talk about her for a second shall we.
Felicia, the cat burglar costumed criminal. The one who tried to trick her boyfriend into a life of crime literally the issue after they hooked up.
Felicia, the woman who recoiled upon seeing Spider-Man’s real face.
Felicia the woman who lied and went behind Spider-Man’s back to get super powers that literally caused him cosmic bad luck even after they broke up.
Felicia, the woman who jeapodized Peter’s secret identity multiple times.
Felicia, the woman who literally got in bed with a mercenary (in every sense of the word) in order to frame Spider-Man for murder by seducing him.
Felicia the one and only girlfriend Peter had before he got married who was a fellow costumed person...and she was literally named after something that brings you bad luck.
It’s ALMOST like it was doomed to fail from the start.
It’s ALMOST like it was intended that way.
It’s ALMOST like it was a great big subtextual commentary about how Spider-Man is better off with normal non-costumed women.
Oh...but if only there was some kind of page or panel clearly spelling out the idea that Felicia the costumed person was wrong for Spider-Man but someone else, someone normal, someone rooted in the real world with all it’s relatable problems and activities, was right for him...
...if only...
And if only the comic book run most guilty of shipping Spider-Man with a costumed person post-OMD which was initiated by a hack writer had itself a page or panel spelling out that Spider-Man dating costumed people because they ‘get’ his lifestyle more doesn’t mean jack shit, showcasing even they recognize it to be a stupid shortsighted attitude to Spider shipping.
IF.ONLY!
Let’s move onto Mary Jane.
MJ dated exactly 2 men during the decade after OMD. Bobbi Carr and Pedro the fireman who was literally a poc fireman version of Peter.
Reliable and stable huh?
Tell me how exactly is the life of a rising A-list movie star ‘reliable’ or ‘stable’...even aside from the fact that he was a drug addict?
Tell me how exactly is the life of a firefighter whom would be rushing off whilst on duty and risking his life A LOT be stable for poor Mary Jane’s anxieties over his safety?
What? Reliable is steady job+regular hours?
That’s what Peter couldn’t provide so this reconciliation is bad?
...Didn’t Mary jane literally WORK for goddam Tony Stark, the globe/galaxy trotting superhero Avenger leader who went into a coma then disappeared?????????
And she took that job by effing choice? AFTER breaking up with Pedro the fireman?
How much ‘reliable stability’ does she really want or need?
Because assholes MJ dated and was married to Spider-Man for fucking years. And she liked it. Are we just IGNORING that?
Like assholes that wasn’t even the thing that they broke up over. MJ didn’t break up with Spider-Man in OMIT because he was unreliable and didn’t provide stability. She accepted that. She accepted that shit even in the nuclear levels OOC flashback sequences to their aborted wedding.
She broke up with him because it endangered her family. THAT was the rationale. THEN she got back with him in Superior. THEN she broke up with him at the end because she wanted normalcy but then she literally said pages later that she’ll never get it because she lived in NYC and because guys like the Goblin wouldn’t care if she was dating Peter or not. THEN she threw away normalcy by working for Iron Man FFS. THEN in Red Goblin she claimed she couldn’t be with him because I don’t even know, some bullshit about feeling guilty that she was keeping him away from being a hero.
So the stable reliability argument holds no goddam water to her pre or post OMD characterizations.
Basically the above paragraph boils down to:
“Peter and MJ getting back together is bad because they dated people who could offer them the stuff that neither could offer the other, even though there is nothing indicating either wanted that stuff in the first place.”
“Not all of these relationships were perfect, but they were signs of real change, something that isn’t typically allowed in big two superhero comics, or at least, not in any lasting, meaningful way.”
No they weren’t. They were signs of Marvel putting the characters on rotation because they axed the ACTUAL meaningful change that was the pair getting married and committing to a longterm permanent relationship that lasted 20 years.
Hence why literally none of these relationships had ANY lasting impact upon either character.
MJ was unchanged by Bobbi Carr dating her beyond it prompting her to return to NYC, i.e. return to her old status quo.
Peter was unchanged by Carlie Cooper, Liaeean Teaaen, Mockingbird and Silk. I mean my God this article bangs on about how Mockingbird was so important because she provided something Peter otherwise couldn’t get from MJ but the seires literally handwaves away their relationship. They don’t even get a major break up scene or issue. It’s just. “We broke up, brief flashback. That was it.”
“The last couple of times that Peter and MJ broke off their romantic relationship — after that one time Doc Ock jacked Peter’s body for over a year — it was because she didn’t want his, frankly, ridiculous life as a superhero to define hers.”
The article says the last couple of times they broke it off then lists one example because what is counting.
And as I said that was NOT the reason they broke up after superior. Hell they didn’t even really break up that time. Otto broke up with MJ in Superior ‘2, then she called him up to break up with him many issues later then she went to Peter when he got his body back to give a break up speech to someone she wasn’t even dating!
“More, she didn’t want to keep risking the danger the comes from being close to a superhero.”
And then she went to work for an even more famous superhero who didn’t even have a secret identity and who have much more powerful enemies many of whom would’ve targeted him even if they didn’t know he was Iron Man..before re-entering his friendship group in from Power Play onwards thus rendering her entire rationale for breaking away moot....not that it made any sense to begin with.
“If anything, his life has become even more crazy since their split, since his teacher is the Lizard and he’s a roommate with Boomerang.”
The Lizard was his teacher in the silver and bronze age too you goddam hacks and having a villain for a roommate is NOT crazier than your body being stolen by a villain for God’s sake.
“Both of those situations are going to end pretty badly, and that’s coming just before the “Spidergeddon” event that’ll bring together the Spider-heroes of the multiverse yet again in a fight for survival against evil vampires.”
I didn’t know CBR could see the future and also apparently knows that despite all current evidence to the contrary that Spencer would be doing a tie-into Spider-Geddon.
“Fans of Peter and Mary Jane as a couple aren’t exactly hard up for a comic about their exploits. The Amazing Spider-Man: Renew Your Vows series may be set in a new universe, but it’s been quietly operating as a book for the two to be happy together. Not only do they have a daughter in that universe by way of Annie Parker, the three of them are a crimefighting family where Annie is Spiderling, and MJ gained powers of her own and became Spinneret. ”
STFU CBR.
a) EVERYONE knew RYV had a limited shelf life
b) RYV is about Peter and MJ are a superhero family, which is a cool concept but also not what a lot, probably even most Spider-Marriage fans want to see. They want to see Spider-Man with a non-powered MJ in the main 616 universe because that is the original real versions of the characters and that dynamic is innate to the inherent concept of Spider-Man as a relatively realistic guy
c) RYV places a lot of focus upon Annie, probably more than on Peter or MJ, especially after the time skip
d) NOBODY who loved RYV was going to simply accept it as a suitable substitute for 616 Spider-Man and MJ not being together. Because as much as we love RYV Peter and MJ those are not THE characters. The specifics of each version of each character carry different emotional investments for the readers. And Marvel knows this hence why they didn’t permanently replace the 616 Spider-Man with Miles Morales, just the other Peter Parker Spider-Man who sold less and had been around for a mere 10 years. It is also the reason why Spider Marriage fans didn’t just say “Oh well at least I still have Peter and MJ in USM and Spider-Girl’ after OMD
“Even if Renew ends and is considered no longer needed, it’s provided the most logical endgame with the best outcome one could think of. Doing that all over again in the 616 universe comes across as redundant and the only thing it really does is reduce the amount of Spider books on the market.”
This one is a real headscratcher.
RYV is not the logical endgame because MJ with powers is not the logical conclusion. Merely ONE conclusion.
FFS RYV isn’t even the same as Spider-Girl despite the premises being similar.
You can take the same broad ideas and do them suitably differently.
Like I dunno exploring the inner dynamics and ups and downs of a couple who do not have a kid?
Focussing mostly upon that as opposed to the kid and all three of them working out how to fight crime together.
Not to mention from this point to even get to RYV (even pre-time skip RYV) would take effing years. Peter and MJ just got back together but it’s a write off because we’ve already seen Peter and MJ with an 8 year old kid so fuck following the trajectory that might get us there?
What kind of nonsense is that?
CBR nonsense, that’s what.
Just like the ‘it will reduce the amount of books on the market’.
Well fuck dude we used to have FOUR Spider-Man books every goddam month about literally the same version of Spider-Man. then 10 years later we had 1 book about Marvel Adventures Spidey, 1 about a high school Spidey, 1 about Mary Jane, then 3 about an adult married Spider-Man.
I THINK we can be okay with a Spider-Man who’s dating or married to a normal woman and another one where he is married to a super powered version of that woman and they are raising their teenage super powered daughter FFS.
And even if we do unfortunately lose Renew Your Vows the argument of ‘we’d be losing a Spider book’ doesn’t even hold up THAT much because...WE ALREADY HAVE TOO MANY SPIDER BOOKS!
Amazing Spider-Man TWICE a month.
Spectacular Spider-Man
Miles Morales
Spider-Gwen
Venom
Scarlet Spider
And soon to come
Spider-Geddon
Spider Force
Spider-Girls
Yet more bullshit I’m sure.
Like I don’t want to lose RYV but dear God we’ve already got TOO MANY Spider books as is.
“And it may have been better for them both to just stay friends, or at least not jump into getting together again so amazingly fast.”
10 years isn’t amazingly fast bro.
So to sum up this article is hot trash that utterly failed to justify it’s own stupid title.
Or maybe it just chronically misspelled it’s own title. Who effing knows. But burn it with fire either way.
#amazing spider-man#feature#Spider-Man#cbr#Comic Book Resources#mjwatsonedit#mary jane watson#Mary Jane Watson Parker#one more day#dan slott#nick spencer#Black Cat#Mockingbird#Bobbi Morse#Felicia Hardy#Superior Spider-Man#spider-man renew your vows#Amazing Spider-Man: Renew Your Vows
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Emerald and Mercury (Marley and Marley)
It was Christmas time in Vale. Everybody was enjoying the holiday season. Students from Beacon, the professors, and students visiting from other academies all enjoyed the festive nature. There was, however, one person who absolutely LOATHED the season: Cinder Fall. Cinder ran a very corrupt money-lending business in Vale. She had ruined the lives of many people, and she loved every life that she crushed. The one thing that she didn’t love was Christmas. She hated how happy people were. She hated the low productivity. Cinder hated how Roman and Neo asked to have Christmas Day off.
“As much as I would like to hang around here, Neo and I have some...business to attend to on Christmas day,” Roman told Cinder.
“And what kind of business is that?” Cinder asked.
Roman paused for a moment and looked back at Neo. “I’m gonna steal a present for Neo,” Roman quietly said.
Cinder sighed. “Fine. You can have the day off, but you’d better come in early the next day,” Cinder said.
Roman nodded, knowing that if he and his assistant were late, they would be the ones roasting over an open fire. Why can’t I find good help these days? Cinder thought. She remembered her hardest workers, Emerald Sustrai and Mercury Black. Other than Cinder, they were the most ruthless, most evil, most cunning thieves in Vale. Then, they died. Cinder was left with only Roman and Neo. two workers who did not have the drive that Emerald and Mercury had.
Later that evening...
Cinder was relaxing at home, thinking about how the students of Beacon will enjoy their Christmas. If only I could ruin it for them. The look on Ruby’s face when her precious gifts are gone. The look on that Arc imbecile when I throw him a jar of ashes, Cinder thought to herself. Before Cinder could think of more ways to ruin the lives of Beacon’s students, she heard a voice.
“Cinder....”
“What? Who is it? Do you even know who I am?!” Cinder shouted back at the voice.
“Cinder Fall...” another voice said.
“Show yourselves! I demand you to show yourselves,” the Fall Maiden said as she readied a glass sword.
“Very well...”
Cinder was shocked as she saw two ghostly figures. There floating before her were the ghosts of Mercury Black and Emerald Sustrai, bound with chains, shackles hanging from their arms and legs.
“What are you two doing here?!” Cinder roared.
“...Merc, grab the radio,” Emerald said.
“The radio?” Mercury replied.
“Yes! Remember, we’ve practiced this!” Emerald shouted.
Maybe I inhaled some hallucinatory dust today... Cinder thought.
“Ok, got it! Sit right there, Cinder. We have an important message,” Mercury told the Maiden.
We’re Emerald and Mercury, avarice and greed!
We took advantage of the poor, just ignored the needy.
We specialized in causing pain, spreading fear and doubt.
And if you couldn’t pay the rent, we simply through you out!
“There was the year we ruined the Vytal Festival Tournament!” Emerald stated.
“I remember all the tears that were shed after that robot was ripped apart,” Mercury replied.
“And remember how you faked your injury and blamed Yang?” Emerald asked.
Both began to laugh, but then groaned in pain as their chained tightened.
We’re Emerald and Mercury. Our hearts were painted black.
Emerald: We should have known our evil deeds would put us both in shackles.
Captive, bound, we’re double-ironed, exhausted by the weight.
Emerald: As freedom comes from giving love,
Mercury: So prison comes with hate!
We’re Emerald and Mercury!
Whooooo....
We’re Emerald and Mercury!
WHOOOOOOO!
“Oh, please! We all know that you two weren’t the worst people. There were still things about people that you liked. Isn’t that right...Emerald?”
“Uh....I plead the fifth!”
“Stay focused, Emerald,” Mercury said.
“Right, right. Anyway...”
Mercury: True, there was something about mankind we loved
Emerald: I think it was their money!
Both laugh again.
Doomed, Cinder! You’re doomed for all time!
Mercury: You’re future is a horror story, written by your crime!
Your chains are forged by what you say and do.
Chains then appear around Cinder’s body. Shackles like her old “friends” dangle from her limbs.
Cinder’s countless victims then appear to sing with Emerald and Mercury. The ghosts of Amber, Pyrrha, Ozpin, and Penny were there.
Amber, Pyrrha, Ozpin, Penny, and other ghosts: So have your fun; when life is done, a nightmare waits for you!
Cinder begins trying to throw off the bindings. “What are these chains?!” she demands of her former “partners.”
“The chains!” Emerald shouted.
“We forged these chains in life with our acts of greed and evil!” Mercury said.
“You wear such a chain yourself, Cinder!” Emerald told the Maiden.
Cinder was shocked. “Is there anything...good you two have to tell me. I-I’m very busy, y-you know.”
“Good?!” the two ghosts shouted at the same time.
“You will be haunted by three other ghosts tonight!” Mercury told Cinder.
“Haunted? I’m already tired of you two!” Cinder said. Cinder was slowly backing up. Though she didn’t want to admit it, she was scared of the news.
“Well, too bad. If you don’t want to share the same fate as us...” Emerald said.
“...then you’re going to have to put up with a little...company tonight.” Mercury stated.
“Expect your first ‘friend’ tonight at one a.m.!” Emerald warned Cinder.
“Can’t we just g-get this done all at once. L-like I said, I’m b-busy!” the Maiden managed to say.
“Afraid not, ‘boss.’ You’re meeting these guys or you’re meeting your chains,” Mercury responded.
We’re Emerald and Mercury!
Whoooooo....
We’re Emerald and Mercury!
WHOOOOOOOOO!
We’re Emerald and Mercury!
The pair’s words soon echoed in the room. Did that really just happen? Cinder thought.
“CHANGE!”
O-ok. I-it really happened, Cinder thought to herself.
I had some free time and I was listening to “Marley and Marley” from The Muppet’s Christmas Carol. I thought “Wouldn’t it be funny if the Marley bros. were Emerald and Mercury and Scrooge was Cinder. What do you think?
I DO NOT OWN RWBY, A CHRISTMAS CAROL, OR THE MUPPETS.
#rwby#christmas carol#cinder fall#mercury black#emerald sustrai#muppets christmas carol#marley and marley#ebenezer scrooge#rwby christmas#roman torchwick#neopolitian (rwby)
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Gradually working my way thru learning about the yokai watch 3 villains, lol. Cant manage to restrain myself from taking just a teeny lil peek at spoilers! I blame that person drawing all the super awesome redemprion headcanon comicry with the cute oc YOU HAVE CURSED ME WITH YOUR GREATNESS
Ok so apparantly mafia ghost dude fuckin loves space and then GOT EXILED TO SPACE FOR 555 YEARS?? His only fuckin crime at the time was believing in ufos and everyone else was like 'nah bro' LIKE CMON UR LITERALLY GODDAMN GHOSTS BUT ALIENS IS TOO ABSURD FOR YOU??? So somehow this dude ended up making it to space and getting trapped on a meteor completely alone for like a bazillion years and holy shit no wonder he turned evil. Like what sort of ironic karma bullshit is it to be like 'i heard u like this thing how about we lock you up there forever unable to move or scream'.
Also seriously AGENT X WAITED 555 YEARS TO SET HIM FREE AND MAKE HIS DREAMS COME TRUE!!! He says he has no regrets! Aaaaa man i really think this whole plot would be even more emotional if they were a couple. Im just getting that vibe!! Im sorry i cant help it u give me two weird ghost dads in stylish suits and a I'LL WAIT FOR YOU FOREVER plot and a MY ONLY DREAM IS SEEING YOUR DREAM COME TRUE and just seriously man look at that quality ship angst. WHY NO HAPPY ENDING THO
And i'm just thinking now about how emotional their reunion probably was. Like i'm imagining Agent X has a hard time being honest about his feelings cos yknow ghoulfather is the boss of the organization and so far out of his league and such. (And he totally doesnt realize that he's his super valued second in command) So when ghoulfather comes back he's probably wrestling with his gut instinct to run forward and embrace him, because Seriously He Is Your Superior It Will Never Happen, Why Am I Like This. So he's just trying to play it all cool and be like "welcome boss i was totally confident that our plan would work and not incredibly depressed for the last few centuries umm here's your coat" And that thing where the character is crying but they dont notice until they put their hand to their face!! That! That scene!! Have one of those in there, yes! And then possibly mid sentence ghoulfather cuts him off and hugs him, and theyre both just finally honest about how much they missed each other. Aaaand then probably five seconds later theyre like *ahem* *professional voice* "well better get back to work"
Also the game probably wouldnt go into any detail with stuff like muscular atrophy or readjusting to earth gravity or the sheer level of phobia that must be in this man's brain from the constant isolation and how hard it must be to adjust back to talking to people when all he's had for so long is his imagination. But fics can explore all that recovery progress! This is our power, to heal the sad villains with our words!
I was just randonly thinking a sweet date scene for them early on in this plot could be Agent X and Ghoulfather going to a random italian restaurant NOT because its a date totally, but just because its been so long since he's been on earth and its something that could maybe cheer him up. But then they just end up complaining together about how modern restaurants in america are so often not run by italian people and have all this weird american versions of stuff, so it ended up not being very memorable after all. Also crappy wheelchair access! (Cos he'd still be recovering at this time) So yeah it ends up being weirdly fun and romantic for two hours of getting pissed off at terrible service. Getting pissed off at terrible service... Together~!
Also probably eight days later Ageny X suddenly realizes "holy shit taking my boss out to a candlelit restaurant just the two of us is MAYBE slightly flirty". I feel like he's a bit of a disaster at expressing his feelings and only ever manages to make the first move when its accidental. But also has like a natural charisma of accidental flirting which means half the damn mafia has a crush on him, lol. Oh also i was considering like a love triangle thing with rongo? But not any of the stereotypical awful love triangle fighty plots. Just rongo having a crush in agent x and sadly agent x was already in love with ghoulfather and doesnt recipricate. But theyre still best friends even though agent x turned him down, and now rongo is the only one who knows about agent x's crush on ghoulfather and he tries to play ultimate wingman between the two. Like 'i want you to be happy even if it isnt with me!!' So he'd probably be the most pissed off if ghoulfather ever betrayed agent x's trust, i feel like agent x would just blame himself for it and rongo would stand up for him like DAMN DUDE DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH HE MISSED YOU WHEN YOU WERE GONE, YOU RIGHT DENSE BASTARD? That sort of conflict between them, not the more cliche conflict of all three people in a love triangle just being all jealous and secretive and dumb.
Oh also unrelatedly i think Slackerjack and Rongo would be friends? Cos the only time ive seen that slackerjack has any dialogue about him he calls him "a good boy who's quite loud but means well". I can imagine Slackerjack being like that nice grandpa who comes to all of 'little rongo''s music recitals, lol. Or like that meme of 'momma needs her tunes' *death metal blares*. He has all of rongo's cds! Ok actually that mental image is super adorable of this big rockstar dude being like 'omg grampa look im here omg i have to make you proud'. I just feel like rongo is 100% adorable at all times and also has positive relationships with every one of his coworkers like the ray of sunshine that he is. He probably memorizes the names of every single minor minion and gives them all birthday cards. I love this big ol dork.
Anyway this has been Bunni Rambling About Potentially Redeemable Villains They Know Very Little About But Are Very Eager To Meet And Fandomize Over
They all just so good, u guys
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Snitches End Up In Ditches
by CaptainStarChaser
Not long after arriving in New York, Wanda Maximoff gets romantically pursued by the unsettling and mysterious crime boss of Manhattan, "Vision". Just shortly after hearing about the terrify reputation he holds.
Is he more than a black market killer, or is he the monster the public perceive him as?
Words: 936, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Categories: F/M
Characters: Wanda Maximoff, Vision (Marvel), Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, Peter Parker, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Natasha Romanov (Marvel)
Relationships: Wanda Maximoff/Vision
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, AU, Age Difference, Slightly - Freeform, Mafia AU, vision is basically dyden vos here, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Iron Dad, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Eventual Smut, love making, Power Couple, Love at First Sight
from AO3 works tagged 'Wanda Maximoff/Vision' https://ift.tt/2WbnHHe
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