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#damian is still stabby
tanglepelt · 10 months
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Dc x dp idea 93
Ra forces Talia to sacrifice her son to the ghost king. With his obvious re-awakening he most solidify the deal. It’s how he was gifted the Lazarus water in the first place.
Newley crowned 15 year old Danny did not want this child. Like at all. He’s already dealing with parents who want to tear him apart. That reveal didn’t go well at all.
Danny couldn’t take care of himself let alone a stabby 6 year old. The only good thing is he snatched the kid before he was killed by his scary mom and stinky grandfather.
By ancient law. This child belonged to him. Not only that, the child was bound to obey him. Found that part out on accident. He was tired of the murder attempts and promptly told him to knock that off be quiet and sit down. He’s ashamed to admit it took him at least two hours to realize Damian couldn’t talk or stand up.
Yea.
He’s taken to internal dialogue after that little hiccup. He later learned sign language had no effect. Apparently it had to be verbal. It’s not his say to order anyone around. He doesn’t care what the crown means. They were fine without pariah they’ll be fine without him.
At least while he’s still half alive. Despite what the council says he doesn’t need a legal guardian. He’s perfectly fine homeless.
So here he was with 9 year old child and on the run from the government, his parents, and the royal council.
Now when a man in a trench coat tries to expel the ecto-ghost to free the “boy” and the child. Well. He asked for help.
This leads to a dna test. Danny ignored how he had been told Batman by Damian it was of no help. Danny hadn’t even meant to ask, knowing Damian would be forced to answer. His mother must of lied to the poor thing.
With a shocking result, the father was Bruce Wayne. Bruce Wayne can reclaim his son, but Danny can’t simply hand him over. Something of equal or greater value has to be exchanged.
Obviously Bruce Wayne is happy to make a deal.
Danny just goes. Well either i need a legal guardian as the ghosts are on my butt about it and my parents want me dead. Or. A government organization taken down for trying to eradicate his species.
He gets both.
Damian and Danny refuse to tell anyone why Damian was sacrificed to him.
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evilminji · 8 months
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Okay, as I have mentioned, I'm Ace AF. And you know that plot line in kids cartoons where the alien or foreign Warrior Royalty just sort of *violently kicks down door in full armor* "We Will Marry."? I?? Always said:
"Sure!" (#OhThankFUCK!)
Like what do you mean "No"? The powerful, attractive, monarch that is very into you has travel a great distance JUST to marry you! Now you don't have to date! They seem nice! You can skip the whole "trying to find a life partner" awkwardness.
So, Sudden New Fiancee(tm) how we doing this? Blended customs? Two weddings? One in your peoples traditions, one in mine? Should we invite your family? Tell me more about yourself.
God, this solves just... SO MUCH for me? No having to make small talk. No "do they like me?" Or "am I reading the signs here right?" No failed dates! It's positively ideal! AND they announced why they were qualified, in a VERY impressive show of power and prestige, when they arrived! Good lineage AND accomplished!! Very nice.
Don't get why everyone's so upset.
Sure the "we leave at once" thing that usually follows would have to be discussed, but that's what you DO as spouses. Really guys, it's like you think I'm incapable of common sense here.
And you know who probably agrees with me? Damian Wayne.
Hell is other people, INDEED. You expect him to just... randomly go up to people and try Courting them? What do you MEAN it's "creepy" to compile portfolios on eligible individuals of worthy bloodlines? How ELSE is he supposed to know if they are worth attempting to talk too?!
There are BILLIONS of humans on this gods forsaken rock, Richard! Is he supposed to just GUESS? Gamble and hope for LUCK? This is a MARRIAGE not a "best friends club"!
Then? Danny showes up.
Gotham heard her baby talking. Heard her KING being harassed by clearly plotting Observants and power hungry ghosts MANY times his age. Connected some dots. Formed themselves a new OTP.
Danny says "Fuck It". Worst he can say is No. According to Gotham, he is neither Shy not the meek obedient sort. Is in fact, VERY stabby. So if he's not interested he'll no doubt be BRUTALLY clear about that.
So? Danny gets Fright Knight. Go get him a horse. Someone fetch Cujo some armor. He's been told the guy like weapons and animals.
TIME TO BE IMPRESSIVE.
He goes FULL Regalia. Armor of solid night sky. Cape of frost and stardust. Crown like crack in reality itself, through which the cosmos gleam and shift. He gets a horse from the far frozen. They're wooly and carnivorous. Gets THE most impressive sword he can find to wear.
It's gonna be a gift, since he doesn't need it.
He does the whole "rend the skies open" thing. Fan fair and knights. Every title he's ever been given, no matter how embarrassing he find them in reality. And announces his intentions. Declares that ONLY Damian Wayne, aka. Robin, is WORTHY to Marry Him. And (in the traditional Ghost proposal of "either accept or tell me to fuck off" /w violence) Demands Damian accept his offer of Marriage.
Right there.
IN THE WATCHTOWER.
In front of EVERYBODY. And yes, ESPECIALLY the Bats. Who are making glitching, vaguely threatening DEMONIC NOISES. Because? You... you THREATEN the BABY? Death. Ten thousand years DEATH.
People are :O ing and backing away from the visible heatwave of unadulterated FURY being put off by Batman. Danny is nano-second from every bone his ANCESTORS had being reduced to a fine paste.
Then? Damian consider him... considers the sword being thrust in his direction, still held aloft in a steady and armored hand... contemplates those titles for a second...
And goes: "Acceptable. Very well, but I have demands."
N..... Nani the FUCK? Says local Bat-Dad. No??? You are NOT GETTING MARRIED.
Try to stop him. He very obviously IS, according to Damian, the man brought him a kick ass sword and has a giant green dog. Is the king of an ENTIRE REALITY. Yes, he realizes he probably COULD do better... but frankly? This one's cute. But if it upset you so... extended engagement. There. Happy?
NO! Because the JLA Dark are LOSING THEIR SHIT. Damian is still UNDERAGE. We don't even know how OLD this being is! NO MARRIAGE.
Damian is unimpressed. A whole six months? That he's likely already LIVED thanks to various timeloops, temporal shenanigans, and reality warping bits of fuckery? You're reaching.
Just? Marriage Meet Cute.
@hdgnj @ailithnight @the-witchhunter @nerdpoe
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deadsetobsessions · 3 months
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What Do You Have There?
A knife!
Danny plunked the butter knife in its pedestal of importance. The nice thing about having a billionaire vigilante for a... foster is the amount of money Danny was allowed to drop on his hobbies. For example, his extensive collection of souvenirs.
They're not just any old regular souvenirs. No, no, no. That would be so boring! No, these souvenirs, he obtained from the various muggings, knife fights, and various other situations he's been in ever since he was dropped ungraciously into Gotham.
The butter knife? Damian. Precocious, stabby Damian who he had startled into the stab instinct. A point of pride, really. Danny knew Damian was good at fighting! It was practically, in ghost terms, a super enthusiastic hello! Yes, the butter knife would be kept in the well lit part of the wall. Alfred had told him to stay home today to recuperate. He didn't need it, since the wound would heal in an hour or two, but he'd take staying at home any day.
A couple of hours later, well into the afternoon and right before what Danny knew to be their patrol hours, Danny had a visitor.
"Danny."
"Oh, hey, Damian! What's up?" Danny turned around to see Damian hovering awkwardly near the door.
"I am here to... check upon your wound. It is imperative that it gets proper treatment."
Ancients, Damian was exactly like those alley kids. He just ate a thesaurus instead of the drawling accent the alley kids picked up. Which meant Damian endeared himself to Danny pretty quickly. Like a little ghostling.
"Oh, I'm good. See? No blood is leaking out of the wound." Danny held up spotless bandages.
Danny watched Damian step into his haunt- his room- with a pleased hum. Damian inspected the bandages and stepped back with a sharp nod of approval. His eyes flicked to the wall that Danny was rearranging (again) and did a double take at the butter knife in the middle.
"Is that the butter knife I stabbed you with?"
"Why, yes, it is!" Danny beamed.
"Why on earth would you display that?"
"Because you stabbed me with it?"
"That makes absolutely no sense, you simpleton! When someone stabs you, stab them back!"
"That would be mean!"
Damian spluttered. Danny tugged the kid closer to the wall, cheering inwardly as Damian didn't shove him away. It might be because he was exaggeratedly wincing as he moved his "injured arm" but Danny has learned to take a win where he could find them, especially with ghosts. Not that Damian was a ghost, but he sure acted like one.
"Do you want to see my collection?"
"Your collection?"
"Yeah!" Without giving him time to answer, Danny barreled ahead. "So this is the knife you stabbed me with. Which, by the way, was an awesome show of strength and accuracy."
Damian grimaced. Danny continued blithely, secretly memorizing Damian's reactions to laugh at later.
"And this is the knife those guys stabbed me with that one time Cass found me. And this one is a bullet someone shot at me down by the docks. I think I interrupted some kind of meeting?"
Damian's jaw had a slight tick to it that would have been a baffled frown on anyone else.
"And when was this?"
"Oh, like a week ago."
"What? When did you go to the docks?!"
"At night. I couldn't sleep."
"And you went to the docks?! How did you even get there?!"
"Walked," Danny lied, like a lying liar. He floated, obviously, but none of them knew that. "Anyways, this is a law book! Someone threw it at my head!"
"Hey, guys! What're you doing?"
Danny and Damian turned around.
"Richard? Brown? What are you doing here?"
"Oh, Bruce wanted me to come back for the weekend," Dick said. Danny knew it was code for "something's going down and we need back up." Man, he still couldn't believe they didn't know he knew they were crime fighting vigilantes.
"Same!" Stephanie said. Danny was glad to see that her wounds from "cartwheeling in the manor" were healed.
"I see. Danny was showing me his collection of... objects people have used as weapons against him."
"What?!"
"Yeah!" Danny beamed, completely innocent. "Come on! I'll show you!"
With that, Danny continued to ramble. He just knew that the way Dick's and Stephanie's smiles strained would give him a good laugh for weeks to come. "And this is the glass bottle a drunk tried to shank me with in Crime Alley, and this is a knife the Red Hood himself threw at me."
Dick interrupted, face stiff. "Hood threw a knife at you?!"
"Yeah, but that was because my kids broke into his safe house and I was trying to get them to stop looting the place. And he didn't know I was a kid too, so he aimed a gun at my head. He shot at me too, but I couldn't go back to get the bullet, or else it would have joined my collection." Danny grabbed a box and shook it, metal rattling inside.
Dick smiled sweetly, Stephanie and Damian inching away from it.
"Oh, wow, I see!"
----
In his apartment, Jason shuddered. He grabbed his guns.
"Something's wrong. I just know it," he muttered to himself.
----
Danny smiled innocently as he described the horrific, near death events he got his souvenirs from.
"This is my bullet box! Man, Gotham has a lot of gun fights. I got shot so many times!" Danny complained, shaking the box like a rattling toy.
"Did you know Danny snuck out to go to the bay?" Damian snitched immediately, like a snitch.
"The Bay?! Danny! You know that's where people dump bodies, right?!" Stephanie poked him in the arm.
"Yeah, but like... I wouldn't die. And besides! I missed my friends!"
"You mean the minions you made in Crime Alley?" Steph asked. Danny pouted, eyeing the way Dick's gaze roved over his souvenirs and paling the more he realized how often Danny "got hurt."
Damian bumped a shoulder against Dick's arm. Danny returned to the conversation.
"If anything, I'm their minion." He said, remembering the times the Alley kids sent him on food runs.
"Fear Danny, the overlord of street rats."
Danny snorted. And- "Oh! Yeah, there was like a weird owl looking guy? And then they stabbed me with a finger and I kept it because woah, cool talon looking thing, right? And then they threw a bunch of those tiny knives at me? And then they just kind of vanished? Gotham is so weird."
And now, with all of them pale and stressed out of their minds, Danny swung a devastating blow called guilt trip.
"And that's the batarangs!" Three heads swung over to the line of batarangs. "Those vigilantes kept throwing them at me! One of them even hit me in the arm. Those things are sharp, man."
"Uh. Which ones?" Stephanie asked.
"Hm?" Danny hummed obliviously.
"Do you know which vigilantes?"
"Oh, it was like... the purple one. And the sword one? And like the one with the yellow insignia in the middle. And... all of them, I think? Except for signal. That guy's cool."
Stephanie and Damian had matching veiled looks of guilt. Dick shot them a sharp look. Danny decided to deal the last bit of damage to Dick.
"I'm glad you guys are way less stabby than the general Gotham public though, butter knife incident aside. At least I don't have to worry about you guys getting into danger, right? If you guys got hurt like my family did... I don't know..."
Danny smiled-squinted at them, channeling Cujo at his cutest and saddest: when he doesn't get to eat off of Danny's plate. So, pretty sad and pathetic.
"Uh, yeah." Dick said, guilt splayed all over his face. "Alfred said dinner was almost ready."
"Yes," Damian cleared his throat, looking away. "We shall partake in Pennyworth's hard work."
"Ahaha!" Stephanie laughed, nervously. "Welp, let's go bother Tim!"
Falling into step behind them, Danny grinned.
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elizabethemerald · 11 months
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Don't Sneak up on People with Swords
@im-totally-not-an-alien-2 made a prompt about Danny sneaking up on Jason Todd and @sky00asara made a comment in the tags about what would happen if Danny did that to Talia. So here is my version of that! Enjoy.
Talia al Ghul watched her beloved from afar. He was out, again patrolling his city for those he considered wrong doers. Her son was by his side. She scowled at how Damian’s fighting style had changed, softened in the company of her beloved. Despite her love for the man under the cowl, he had a tremendous ability to take even the most ruthless of killers and change them to spare the undeserving. He had even tried it with her. 
She was hidden on the roof of an abandoned tower nearby. The tower had succumbed to fire and was now condemned until the city got around to destroying it properly. For now it made the perfect place for her to observe her beloved and her son work undisturbed. 
“Excuse me?” 
Talia whirled, drawing her blade as she spun. Her blade moved fast enough to almost cut the air itself yet the small shape ducked under her stroke and back-pedaled quickly to move out her range. 
“Jeez! Why is everyone in this city so jumpy!” 
The voice more than anything made her realize that the person who had somehow snuck close enough was an actual child. Their black hair and blue eyes made her wonder if this was another of her beloved’s adoptees. Except surely this boy was too young to catch Bruce’s eye? 
“Well maybe you should not sneak up on people?” Talia hissed, her voice soft yet stern. To say nothing of how a child who couldn’t be older than five had snuck up on her at all. 
“Well maybe you shouldn’t brood on the roof of my home!” The child snarked back, just like one of the Bat’s brood would, completely unafraid of the blade still in her hand. Talia raised an eyebrow at him then looked around at the burnt skeleton of the building they were standing on. 
“This building is not fit for human occupation.”
“Neither was the last place I lived.” He said dismissively. “This place hasn’t even killed me yet, so it’s practically a paradise.” 
She was tempted to take the child’s words as sarcasm, yet something in the way he spoke made her think he meant it more truthfully. 
“You’ve died before?” Talia asked. She relaxed her hold on her blade, allowing it to rest at her side. 
“Oh yeah, I die all the time.” He said, then he looked at her curiously tilting his head first one way, then another. “You’ve died too, huh?” 
She nodded, now examining him closely, looking for the signs she would recognize. She could see the hint of a scar on the boy’s palm that might have caused a death. 
“What is it with this town that so many people have died and come back?” The boy asked, apparently rhetorically as he didn’t let her answer. “First the stabby Robin, then the stabby Batgirl, then Batman, and even Red Hood. It’s like everyone I run into is contaminated.” 
Talia’s eyes widened. 
“You can sense those who have utilized the Lazarus Pits?” She would have to inform her father about this child. He could put the entire League of Assassins at risk. The child before her just shrugged. 
“I have no idea what that is. Red Hood mentioned some kind of pit as well, but I’ve never seen anything like that. I just know y’all are contaminated with ectoplasm, though not enough to make a core.” 
“What is this… ectoplasm?” Another name for the Lazarus Waters? Had there perhaps been a Pit outside of League control? In the midwest somewhere based on the boy’s accent. 
“Oh it’s this stuff.” He held his hand out and Talia couldn’t help keep her expression of shock withdrawn despite all her training as his hand filled with the glowing green light of the Pits. He held the Pit Water in his hand then tossed the glowing orb to his other hand in a half juggle as if he weren’t carrying the League's greatest secret and weapon. 
Nevermind telling her father about this child, he could never learn of him. If Ras had the power this child had under his control the world would never survive. There was only one option. She needed to train this child to wield this strength. With the stealth he displayed in sneaking up on her and his power over the Pits themselves he could make an assassin like the world had never seen. He could be the next Head of the Demon under her guidance. She knelt down to the boy’s level, slipping her sword back away as she did so. 
“Tell me, young one. Are you living in this death trap of a building all by yourself?” 
“Yeah, but don’t worry, I’ve got it taken care of. I know I’m little, but that just means people are less likely to notice me. I’m able to steal all the food I need from that big box store down the street.” 
“Oh of that I have no doubt. My name is Talia al Ghul. What’s yours?” 
“Hmm. I’m Danny.” The boy seemed hesitant to trust her, which to be perfectly honest was probably a very smart thing to do, but at least she had a name for this gift of Lazarus. 
“Danny, how would you like to come live with me? You won’t have to steal any more, or worry about food ever again, and I could train you how to fight even better than the Bats.” 
He narrowed his eyes at her, looking her over closely. 
“Would I get a sword?” 
“If a sword is what you want, then once you were trained in its use I would acquire one for you.”
Danny looked like he was about to nod, but then he froze, his head tilting to the side as if he was listening to something. His eyes widened and Talia tensed. 
“Uh-oh. Fruit Loop incoming. I gotta go.” 
Talia half turned as she heard the sound of one of her beloved’s grappling lines catching on the building’s edge. By the time she had turned back to face him, Danny had completely vanished. She hadn’t even heard him leave. She stood and scowled as her beloved landed on the rooftop next to her. 
“Talia.” He grunted at her, glaring all the while. 
“Beloved. Must you ruin every nice thing in my life?” Talia snarled back. The boy, Danny, had the gift of Lazarus at his beck and call and Batman had scared him off. 
Bruce looked momentarily stunned at her fury, but quickly hid it behind his mask. However Talia couldn’t care less about her beloved right now. She just needed to lose him so she could return to find the boy. The boy who would change the world with his power. 
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starry-bi-sky · 4 months
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Danyal Al Ghul's missed potential - this kid is not gonna behave like his canon self if he's with the league of assassins until his late formative years, and my reasoning why
(feel free to take this all with a grain of salt this is just my thoughts on it, this is all mostly amusing to me and isn't trying to be negative towards anyone else)
similar to how i was talking about how danny growing up in crime alley would affect him, demon twin aus with danyal al ghul make me laugh a lot (affectionate) because... whose teaching danny to unlearn all the ecofascism he picked up from the league of assassins? whose teaching him to be kind? to be gentle? Not the LoA thats for certain.
(you could plausibly say Jazz but she's only 2 years older than Danny and do you really expect a fellow child to properly explain why X is wrong to another child and have it be 100% effective? i don't doubt it'd help to an extent, but not in the same way an adult explaining it would)
plus a ton of other things, like whose teaching him to value human life? not the LoA. Whose teaching him how to adjust to living with American society after he ends up with the Fentons when he's 8-9-10? Who teaches him that killing is wrong, whose enforcing that?
(not the Fentons if you're going the neglectful parent route, and Jazz can try but i really don't think Danny is going to listen to her, a stranger who isn't even part of his grandfather's league)
How do you teach a child to value human life when the greatest development window for that opportunity has closed and he's already formed his own opinions?
You're not gonna get a Danny whose exactly like his canon attitude if he's staying with the league during his formative years (0-8 years old). you're not. You could get someone LIKE it, potentially, or someone who has traces of it or is similar -- like danny's wit and jokes and sarcasm, and on some level his kindness. but you're not gonna have a carbon copy. Development doesn't work that way. "nature" can only do so much in the face of nurture.
If anything, it doesn't even have to be a major change -- in the league he cans till be kind, but it's probably going to manifest in a different way than what is considered normal. Tough love, for one. But there's gonna be something that affects him negatively. Why make him 'always good/kind' when you can make him a brat who develops into a kinder (if spikier than in canon) person?
TLDR: Danyal Al Ghul would not be like how he is in canon if he's with the league until his late formative years -- not without any lasting pr permanent impacts from the league at least. Missed potential to make him an absolute nightmare like damian was -- especially in his early years when he first arrived to the Fenton house.
(this doesn't apply to danyal al ghul aus where he's either given to the fentons as a baby/is reincarnated/etc. this is mostly aimed for danyal al ghul aus where he fakes his death at like, 7-10 and somehow ends up, personality-wise like his completely canon self by 14 without any differences.)
(and even then if he's five or four, or even three, he would still be traumatized and influenced by the league. he'll just have more time to adjust. the sooner he leaves the league the more likely he is to be like his canon self, but not like an exact copy)
(more under the cut)
Anyways what I'm saying is that there is prime missed Danyal al Ghul potential to make him an absolute NIGHTMARE to the Fentons however way he ends up with them, just like Damian was with the Waynes! Cuz why does Damian get all the fun? Danny got the same training and endoctrine as him! He is also an ex-assassin! Why is Danny the only one who is 'well adjusted and non-violent' hm? Hmm?
Why can't he also be mean, and stabby, and a total stuck-up in some way or another? Have fun with his characterization, its prime opportunity to play play-doh and clay with him! If he starts out as X how does he get the personality traits of Y, and thus become XY?
Like take this with a grain of salt if you will, but make him arrogant. Make him an asshole! Make him a bad person at first! Because he will be! He's the blood son of the batman and you mean to tell me that damian is the only one arrogant about it at first? Make him stabby and mean even at 14 when he's begun to chill out! Have fun with it! If he's with the Fentons at any point past the age of four or five then he's gonna be a nightmare to handle because he still remembers the league and his time there.
(and while it gives him more time to chill the hell out, his time at the league is still gonna leave an impact on him.)
also what im saying as well is have him and sam potentially get along like a house on FIRE. Again, Danny grew up under the views of an ecofascist cult and nobody to challenge those views to him until he got to amity park at whatever age in late formative years he was at. He could be about as intense or even MORE intense about environmental awareness/rights than Sam is!
(also him being supremely unimpressed with Sam's wealth. he gave up a palace in the mountains for this town. because that's funny to me - like let his past have more influence on him! it'll be fun!)
you could have a danny who doesn't kill but doesn't fully understand the value of human life because jazz is like two years older than him and isn't that good at explaining why people's lives are important. he won't kill but he's not morally opposed to it. there's very little chance he actually gets bullied at school because he nearly killed Dash the first time he tried anything.
Danny could have scars, physical ones, because its implied in multiple canon that training starts at toddling (my best bet is 3 at minimum and ~maybe~ 2 but only on the later side of 2. Good fucking luck getting any infant under 2 to do anything you ask, ESPECIALLY assassin training. They're gonna stick the weapon in their mouth sooner than they're gonna do katas. This is coming from a daycare teacher.)
there's more examples of how danny being at the league during his formative years would affect him, but those are just some of them. he could have a sword! An appreciation for weaponry and nature. Maybe he still speaks all shakespearan and formal, does he still make bodily threats to people? If Damian is still threatening people at 14 why can't danny?
#dpxdc#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpdc#tldr danyal al ghul has a ton of missed potential of what his behavior would be like if he left the league mid-to-late formative years#this post is specifically directed towards those danyal al ghul posts where he ends up with the fentons when he's like. 8#like great. who taught him to unlearn all of the LoA's programming#how is he exactly like he was in canon despite being with the LoA during his early childhood#source: i've taken multiple child development classes#this isnt to bash those aus at all its just me thinking its hilarious that danny would even remotely be like his canon personality#especially if he's in the league long enough for damian to remember him#like i love danyal al ghul aus i just think there's not enough being taken into account about how the league would permanently impact him#especially if he leaves later on in life#people are not ponds they are puddles of mud. if you drop a rock into it it's gonna change its shape#its also good creative exercises on how to flesh characters out better and better understand how things in a story may impact a character#good thought exercises with the additional bonus of making danny a violent gremlin like damian is#i dont wanna say this is bashing but i guess it is kinda a criticism on the writing in those aus because you’re telling me this had NO#affect on danny on his personality beyond just ‘oh league bad. league scary’?? cmonnn have some fun#like you mean to tell me that being a child assassin had no lasting impact on him or his personality?? like at all???#he doesnt have an ounce of self-importance/arrogance/anger like damian did?? like none of that *stuck?* he’s just the normal and sane#sibling right off the bat??? five years with the fentons turned him into a complete blankslate?? he has no lasting impact from the league??
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suzukiblu · 3 days
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I am utterly besotted with ‘Damian gets a pocket’! And getting to reread the snippet of Tim asking if Damian’s Named his pocket yet when a few paragraphs later we establish that the ONLY name that Damian could possibly consider calling his pocket is ‘Beloved’ unless there’s a serious objection on not-Billy’s part!
Damian turning around his league training on ID-ing a pocket’s origin as a pressure point in order to find his clearly Not-Exactly-Okay Soulmate is a lovely thing to read, too.
Billy must be having a fucking heart attack while trying to figure out how to look after a tiny, stubborn, prideful and stoic little pocket who would Fight God on his behalf.
Thank you, I was surprised by how much everybody seems to like that one, but definitely pleased! I got the idea for the fic from @dcmainlybillythoughts, they showed me a real cute sketch of Damian with a Pocket!Billy that they were working on and it just AWAKENED something in me, haha.
Damian: obviously there is only one name worthy of this Pocket who I am assassin-detecting the origins of. Pocket Billy, too busy swooning to even consider any objections, but definitely going to blush like HECK every time he gets called his name: SQUEAK!!
Elsewhere Billy is still just trying to extricate Pocket!Damian from Tawky's ruff with absolutely zero success. Right up until somebody insults him, anyway, at which point he's got a stabby lil' Pocket assassin to contain. POCKET NO WHERE DID YOU EVEN GET A SWORD--
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clockwayswrites · 1 year
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Et Tu?
“Et tu, Brute?” Tim gasped, hand splayed over his chest as he swayed in his seat— perilously close to falling off it.
Duke just snorted. “I am so not Brutus here. No way. I am no where near stabby enough to be the Brutus of this family.”
Tim motioned, like the dramatic little bitch he was, at the stack of Draw 4s on the center pile.
“Man, I was not going to draw that! That’s like, twenty—”
“Twenty-four,” Cass corrected.
“—twenty-four cards. Not my fault you don’t have none.” Duke finished, crossing his arms.
“I had one,” Tim groused. “I just didn’t have two! But no. You, Brutus—”
“Still not the Brutus.” Duke said and rolled his yes. “Damian is a hundred percent the Brutus of the family.”
All of the siblings stopped to consider that, looking at Damian who just scowled back at them from behind his very large hand of Uno cards. It was oddly intimidating, or maybe that’s just how Duke felt. Dick looked close to cooing.
“…Damian did start the Draw 4 war too,” Dick pointed out after a beat.
“Et tu, Brute?” Tim gasped, playing his performance out again but this time directed at Damian.
“Tt. It was a strategic move; you have too few cards. Besides, it is only just for you being so certain you might win.” Damian said. Which was a bratty way to say it, sure, but Duke had to admit the little demon dude was right.
“Ah,” Jason started to grin that made Duke want to scoot his chair back. What he didn’t expect, as Jason folded his cards, was for the other to lean into his Crime Alley accent heavily as he adopted an obviously theatrical air. He motioned from Damian to Tim to the cards. “The noble Brutus hath told you Caesar was ambitious: If it were so, it was a grievous fault, and grievously hath Caesar answer’d it.”
“Oh no,” Dick said, softly horrified.
Jason leaned forward over the table as he moved to stand. “Here, under leave of Brutus and the rest— for Brutus is an honourable man.”
“You got him started on Shakespeare.”
“So are they all, all honourable men—” Jason swept his hand, motioning at all of them and then placed a closed fist on his chest. “Come I to speak in Caesar’s funeral.”
“What did you do, Tim?”
Tim, for his part, looked honestly distressed as Jason flung an arm over his shoulder and pulled him close.
“He was my friend, faithful and just to me!” Jason lamented, looking for the world as if he had just been crying.
Duke was admittedly impressed by the act.
Tim whispered, under Jason’s next line, “I’m so, so sorry.”
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flamingpudding · 7 months
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Part 12 of Ghost Kid in Gotham
>>Masterpost >>AO3
<<1 Previous Next
A Mother's Care
Damian knew his family. He had been with all of his siblings long enough to have taken note of all their small habits or antics. But it wasn't only his siblings. He had also learned about his father and Pennyworth. Thus he knew that his father, after learning about Danyal's existence, would attempt to find a way to contact his mother and find out as much as he could about Danyal's live before them.
Damian also knew his mother. Father had contacted her, that alone would have been enough reason for his mother to appear herself sooner or later. Especially since it had been about Danyal. His twin had become a non-existing topic in the league after his death. His mother had never mentioned his twin ever again, it was like Danyal had never existed in the first place. Back then it had irked him but blinded by the way he had been raised then he had followed that unspoken rule. Never talked about and never thought about him during training or missions, never mentioned him to anyone. But in the privacy of his own chambers he would remember and whisper stories to small and hidden animals he had saved about his twin.
That was why he wasn't surprised, unlike Richard who he was supposed to patrol with, when his mother stepped out of the shadows of a building. Now they were free to talk about Danyal again after so many years.
Still he tensed, there were so many things he wanted to tell her after Danyal appeared. So many questions to which he had no answers to. Yet he didn't make a single sound as he became aware of her presence, stopping and merely looking over his shoulder as she stepped into clear view.
Richard was a different matter. He instantly took a protective stance. Placing himself between Damian and her, an arm outstretched as if to prevent Damian from getting closer in case he felt 'stabby' as his brothers liked to put it or perhaps more so to keep her from approaching him. Richiard did tend to become protective at times. Something that Damian hadn't known how to appreciate at first but still understood in a way.
"Habibi."
"Mother."
"Talia."
They were all curt with each other it seemed and Damian simply nodded in her direction. He knew why she was here, for a split second he wondered how far his father was from their location and if Richard had already contacted them. Their coms were on and active, he could hear Drake having an argument with Brown over something trivial. He had muted his own and it did seem like they were unaware of his mothers presence. He side eyed his brother, wondering if he had used a private channel, so as not to alarm everyone of his mothers presence. Even if Nightwing hadn't, Damian was sure that Oracle had already noticed and most likely had notified his father.
"Your father has contacted me."
"We had questions."
Nightwing's head moved minisculely as he looked between Damian and his mother, silently asking if Damian was fine with this. He gave a small nod, inclining his head slightly to indicate that he wanted to take the lead. It was strange, something was off. His mother smiled but it wasn't that knowing smile she would have if she had done something that would make them want to contact her. Rather he caught the small signs of her slight confusion. A change in her voice, the small lift of her eyebrow and the hints of a frown.
She was worried.
"Habibi, what questions do you still have?"
"Why did you never tell me he was still alive?"
In a way Damian was glad that Richard was leaving the talking to him and only kept his protective stance. It was also unusual for his mother to seek him out when he was with someone. He could see a weariness to the way her stance changed slightly and turned to look into the distance.
"Danyal was weak and a weakness to you. He would have never survived. If anyone had known he was still alive he would have just died a second time."
Damian clenched his fists under his cape. That was not enough reason for him, yet he understood the reasoning. He had been raised by the league for the bigger part of his childhood, he knew their views best and had only later learned how wrong some of them were. If he hadn't been sent to his father and grown with his brothers, would he have accepted that reasoning better?
"Why didn't you say anything after I left?"
His eyes widened slightly under his mask as he saw the smile his mother was giving him as she turned to face him again. Fondness clearly showed in her eyes, a smile he hadn't seen since his twin and him had been small children. It was a smile that had disappeared with time when their grandfather had instructed them to start with the twins training. "Danyal was weak but smart."
Silence followed her statement and he mused over her words, glaring at the ground as he did so. Of course his twin was smart, the only fault Danyal ever openly displayed was his inability to kill.
"My baby bird." He looked up at his mother as she broke the silence. "Danyal changed after his revival but even then, I had faith. Besides I knew from the moment I lowered him into the Pits that you would one day find him again. Nothing truly stays a secret forever."
"So why didn't you bring him to Bruce then?" His head snapped to Nightwing, for a moment he had forgotten about his elder brother's presence and it appeared that his brother's question would not get answered. Damian watched as she shook her head and stepped back. They would not receive an answer to this question.
"What about Danyal's scars, the ones he hadn't possessed before?" The question slipped out before he could stop it. It was irrational to ask his mother of this yet he hoped to get an answer. In accordance with what his father had told them before. It hadn't been league experimentation that gave his twin new scares. Yet his father had mentioned that his mother had also kept an eye on Danyal from time to time.
Surely she must at least know something about them. Her facial expression hardened and Damians eyes winded minisculely when he saw the meaning behind it. His mother's gaze grew distant as she took another step back from them, slowly merging into the shadows behind her.
"Danyal has gained his own share of enemies in the years away, despite living a mostly normal life. Your brother has even gained a special kind of enemies in the past two years. Do keep an eye out for those suited in white, Habibi. But teal and orange are the ones responsible."
Eyes widening Damian stepped forward, a hand slightly raised to reach out. But Richard's arm prevented him from getting any further as his mother disappeared into the shadows. Distantly he registered how Richard was talking over the coms, relaying what his mother came to personally inform them about. His brother's stance had gone rigid at his mothers last words. His brother must have known what his mother was implying.
It took him a moment but once he composed himself again he attempted to reflect on their conversation.
As he regrouped with the rest of his family, belatedly Damian realized that his mother had not once asked how his twin was fairing or in what state he was in. Instead she had given him a warning. A warning he was going to take seriously. Those suited in white, teal and orange. There must be some information his father had yet to share with the rest of them that Damian would need to dig into. As he eyed his elder brother Damian wondered if he should dig into the information himself or see how much he could get out of Richard before he attempted to question his father. There was something about Danyal's life that his mother, father and eldest brother knew but refrained from directly sharing with him.
His mother did indeed care about him and his brother, her way of showing it was just not the most ideal, at least not in his siblings eyes.
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josnhoes · 9 months
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I would love to see if reader had a crush on someone, like she was madly in love and yandere Jason Todd, Yandere Damian Wayne, and Yandere Tim Drake found out. (Maybe yandere dicks reaction as an extra)
I'm going to assume this is in the young adult reader verse. So platonic (though since you said she I will use fem pronouns), if you wish for a romantic yandere separate from that verse let me know.
Note to readers this is a side story to the young adult reader story. It is not directly canon due to the use of gender.
Warning: Fem reader, yandere, murder mentions, obsession, over protective,
Jason knew his Sparky had a lot of love to give, and he figured eventually you'd end up in love. Granted, he'd figured since you never were outside of the manor without someone at your side that you wouldn't get a chance to. Oh boy, was he wrong.
The person in question was some rich kid who attended almost every gala or party due to their parent's part in the various charities Bruce ran. He knew because he'd tried to get Bruce to stop inviting them just so this blooming romance would fade. Yes, he was a romantic at heart, but he couldn't agree to *you* being the one involved in romance. You were too young and naive.
Since he couldn't get them uninvited and his siblings were failing as your guards and keepers, it looked like he'd have to step in. Jason had learned that despite Bruce's moral high ground of no murder that whenever the Wayne princess was involved murder was sanctioned. It was the only exception Bruce made. Usually he'd be pissed someone was more worthy of being killed for by Bruce, hadn't Jason been worthy of vengeance? But his baby sister was someone he saw as worth killing for too so Bruce got a pass...this time.
If he were a more patient man, he'd have dragged Tim in on this; but he wanted this budding romance gone. So he took care of it. You'd mourn, probably have a few breakdowns, but you didn't need to know it was him. Gotham *was* dangerous. After all, it could have been anyone who shot them.
Damian was somehow the most protective of the brothers; which said a lot since the entire family was willing to kill for you. But Damian was the one willing to torture for you. But for his devotion, he expected you to give him attention. Ideally, he'd be the focus of your attention, but he realized he had to share with his family.
That being said, anyone outside of the family he absolutely refused to let you give them even an ounce of your attention. Exceptions were people like doctors or therapists. As your brother, he wanted you to be healthy after all. Still when your attention wavered from the family to some budding socialite from the Galas he was enraged.
Not at you, he realized as a human on so sheltered his darling sister would naturally crave bonds with others. Romantic ones were inevitable; and maybe some day when you were older and it was someone he could approve of he would have let it continue. This was not that. This was an unknown; one who would put you in more danger.
He debated what to do about this problem. Clearly he had to keep you both apart. Tripling his hovering in galas and the rare occasions you left the manor. But that wasn't enough for him. Damian knew a proper threat and maybe some light torture would scare them away from you, the only question was did he do it in his old league uniform or as Robin.
The league of shadows garb would ensure the continued positive image of the vigilantes, but the Robin costume would make people second guess the socialite and their sanity. Well he'd hoped so, then again he *was* known as the stabby Robin. League gear it was.
No matter your feelings for this person, Damian knew you'd get over them. You had him. You didn't truly need anyone else.
Tim was all for giving you online freedom. Or an illusion of it anyway. Everything you did was monitored, and any attempt to lash out and try and call for help was prevented by your device's new program. But you hadn't even tried that in months; he'd figured you'd finally stopped trying to rebel, but that wouldn't gain you any extra freedom.
Your emotional attachment to the new person was worrisome. The socialite had approached you and charmed you at an event when Dick was supposed to be watching you. From there, a small romance began budding online. A fact that was loathed by Tim. As your big brother he had to protect your honor.
He was saving physical retaliation for a last ditch option. Instead, he'd planned a mind game. Hacked phones and social media leaking the socialite's secrets. Bank accounts being flagged. Even forging a few criminal charges. Every bit of their life was going to suffer.
Some would say that was more cruel than simply physically handling them, but Tim knew those kind of things were far longer lasting. You would see the worst in them, and if that didn't keep you apart, then the way their life would burn would keep them too busy for you.
If all of that failed, Tim had no problem making them disappear.
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dairy-farmer · 2 months
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Seriously can't stop thinking about Beta!Tim... just? That hot tight body? Not made to take a knot but taking it ANYWAY? Gasping for air as he feels like he's being split in two? Unable to wriggle away?
And Batman who thinks he's SO safe. This Robin is a BETA. He definitely can't catch feelings NOW. Definitely won't want to pin him down and fill him up. Make him PACK.
But he DOES and it's like a bomb of serotonin to his poor happiness starved little bat brain. Tighter then anything and his His HIS. Licking and scenting, all sweetness and soothing, as poor Timmy feels like he's DYING. Stuffed so full he'll pop like a balloon.
And Bruce can FEEL the outline of it. FEEL it, from where his hand rests on that perfect stomach, when he spills and gushes DEEP. Makes him plump up like he's pregnant, just from whats trapped inside. So punch drunk HIGH on how good it feels, he barely remembers to rub and tease that little clit. Make Tim feel good too.
He'd never let Bruce touch him again if he doesn't, after all.
And poor Tim can't eat sit up the next day. Not that Bruce is particularly upset. Hell, his controlling ass LOVES carting around his Robin to take care off.
And Omega!Dick? How TIRED he is of being objectified? Lusted after like MEAT? But a Heat is a Heat. You can't escape them. And he's still FURIOUS with Bruce. Doesn't WANT to submit to ANYONE.
HE wants to be in control.
His eyes catch on Tim.
Tim who he caught with Omegan training plugs, of all things. Designed for smaller omegas who's Alpha's are... Gifted(tm). And hadn't one been missing?
He decides to find out if his hunch is correct. Drags the younger Beta into his nest.
It IS.
And unlike some "Me Alpha, Me In Charge!" Alpha knothead? Timmy gasps and squirms and submits so beautifully? Let's him take charge and sink into ALL those impulses he's been fighting. Wrapping him up tight like an octopus and rutting into him hard and deep.
Dumping into him again and again, like he's trying to milk himself dry. Wringing so many orgasms out of him, his poor little Beta is sobbing for air, shaking. Clinging to him. Shhh, shhh, Dick has you~ gonna take SUCH good care of you. Go ahead and pass out. He'll be here when you wake up.
Tim is once again on bed rest.
Because these fuckers wanna split him in half or marathon sex him into oblivion. He is a BETA. Jason coming back, a walking tank of an Omega. The little stabby shit Alpha Blood Son. His half KRYPTONIAN Alpha Bro and Speedster Omega Bro.
Ha ha... his puss is in Danger(tm) *cold sweat*
-🐼
tim being an innocent little beta who is not made for these alpha knots and omegas who desperately want to knock him up with the way they fuck him 😩😩😩😩. he needs to train his poor beta hole to be able to take knots and the thorough fucking that omegas on their heat give him. and then bruce!!!! bruce who goes around telling dick and jason and damian that tim is an omega and so they don't have to worry about pupping him because it's so rare!!! its his fault!!! it's his fault when tim gets pupped because they're all damnably horny who can't bare to have tim go one day without a cock lodged inside him.
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Who has been screwed over by the fandom more?
Propaganda below the cut
Damian Wayne:
HES JUST A LITTLE BABY GUY!!!!! Little baby man raised as an assassin and learning how to be a real person <3. But because he was kind of a dick and also a little stabby early-on, especially to the fandom's main "so sad uwu depressed baby" blorbo (and also he's not white), people treat him like he's satan incarnate
Jason Todd:
Robin, Jason Todd, THE hated child character. In the 1980s, Batman comics had become increasingly dark and gritty. According to editor O'Neil himself, the courted audience wasn't kids but 19-40 year old men with disposable income. Batman's child sidekick, Robin, was offensively campy and childish. Fans called him wimpy, annoying, dumb, bratty, etc. Also people complained that Batman acting like an affectionate dad was unmanly and gay. Robin acts violent and emotional and people are like "ew he's so childish and emotional"—and then Batman literally acts just as murderously and emotionally within literally the same exact story and people are like "wow he's so dark and tortured". So in 1988 (after brutalizing Batgirl to get rid of her for being too bright and nice and kid-friendly), DC held a paid poll for fans to vote for Robin to live or die. O'Neil claims he heard a fan (a grown man with a dayjob as a lawyer) programmed a phone to spam kill votes. One fanguy claimed that he sold his Mercedes to buy kill votes (probably an exaggeration but still). By less than 1% margin, the vote decided to kill Robin in a spectacularly violent way. Anyway the 1989 Batman movie brought in a huge wave of new child comicbook fans who liked the new Robin (a very cool teenage high school Robin with a driver's license and a girlfriend), and DC started a separate Robin-less Batman series called Legends of the Dark Knight to make the anti-Robin writers and fans happy. But to this day, many fans agree it was a good idea to kill off the other Robin so that his foolish death reminds other characters to never be childish and stupid again. Bonus: the current Robin (usually a traumatized 10-year-old) has also been facing some pretty loud hatred for over 15 years.
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starwrighter · 8 months
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I am not a baby!! (yes you are)
(Ao3) (Masterpost) (Previous) (Next)
(Chapter 14)
Damian was fighting for his life, for his dignity! Uproarious laughter rang in his ears, his siblings cheering for karma.
“This is the best day of my life!” Tim cried. “The tides turn! It’s a miracle!” 
“I let him win!” He defended, watching the hatchling swim around.
“Sure ya did,” Jason added sarcastically.
“He’s smaller than a Mesmer! You’d have to be an idiot to think I couldn’t defeat him!” The hatchling is tiny, likely twice as fragile as the rest of his clutch despite his ferocity. 
“Can we please not goad Damian into killing the guppy?” Dick admonished, the eldest being the only one of his siblings with sense. 
“I’m just saying, a hatchling got him to back off twice,” 
“I didn’t want to crush him!” He snapped, “What was I supposed to do?” Damian could’ve easily snapped his tail and thrown the hatchling away. He just didn’t want to hurt the guppy.
“I get it. Babies are a terrifying force to be reckoned with. We’re all glad you escaped with your life,” Jason teased with faux sympathy.
“He didn’t scare me! And he sure as the Lava zone didn’t defeat me,” He screeched, tail thrashing back and forth through the bright red grass of the grassy plateaus.
“Listen,” Tim started. I know how hard it is to admit defeat,”
“Of course, you know how to admit defeat Drake,” Damian interrupted. “But I wasn’t defeated, so I can’t relate,” He sneered. 
“It’s worse than we thought,” Tim replied sadly, “He’s in denial!” 
“I am not in denial!!” He roared, startling the hatchling. The hatchling fled his nest, swimming back into his egg.
A noxious cloud of decay spilled into the water. A putrid scent of death assaulted his senses. Worse than anything a gaslopod could shoot out but still appealing to the scavengers of the shallows. Blood clouding the water smelled too rotten to belong to the living hatchling but was similar enough to send his heart racing.
Often these eggs hatched one or two babies, the amount of viscera spread out through the shallows was enough to suggest two babies had been inside that egg. One child rotting before they even got a chance to hatch.
The living hatchling emerged alone once again… Depressing.
“What're we going to call him?” Dick asked.
“The girls would be pissed if we named him without them,” Jason added.
“They should’ve been here if they wanted to name him,” Damian said. “ They have no reason to be mad at us for their tardiness,” He finished. 
“Disrespectfully, I don’t want to die,”  Jason said.
“Can we at least discuss names?” Dick whined.
“You haven’t even met him!” 
“Only because you’re hogging him!” His older brother pouted.
“He’s very stab happy, would you rather I let him swim to you and attack a reaper on the way?” Damian sniped back.
“I’d rather you let us help you guard him,”
“No! I’m perfectly capable of watching a hatchling,”
“…but he stabbed you?”
“Just a scratch, barely a concern,” Damian defended, “A tiger plant could hit harder than he did,” 
“I for one, vote we keep the stabby teenager away from the stabby baby,” Tim suggested. 
“Shut up or I’ll teach him to stab you on command!” Damian sneered, cutting off the bond. He needed time to think.
Damian turned, but the hatchling was nowhere to be seen. His blood froze, gills flaring. No no no no no no no, he couldn’t be the one to lose this hatchling. Father would never trust him with anything ever again! Shooting over to the little one’s nest, Damian tapped on the barrier.
Tap…Tap…Tap…
Nothing
Tap…Tap…Tap
Again 
Tap.Tap.Tap.Tap.Tap.Tap.Tap.Tap.
Faster, more consistent, he braced himself for the hatchling to shoot out and start mauling him again. Still nothing, not a peep or shuffle. 
He lost the hatchling.
@ashoutinthedarkness @avelnfear @meira-3919 @thought-u-said-dragon-queen @hugsandchaos @blep-23 @zeldomnyo @bytheoldwillowtree @justwannabecat @shepherdsheart @starlightcat04 @stargazing-bookwyrm @pupstim @dragongoblet @noxcheshire
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ao3sbatfamily · 1 month
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I want to recommend the fic "stabby", forgot the author though
Damian is tiny little stab-stab child
'Stabby' by Lalill
“During patrol we encountered a magic user we hadn’t seen before – in fact I’m still trying to figure out who he is. One of his spells hit Robin and apparently de-aged him. A few years at most apparently but still. Unfortunately, Damian’s memories were also rendered, making him lose all memories from his time in Gotham and after his time in the League. I’m still trying to figure out how much exactly he remembers but he didn’t know me anymore.”
“Who do you think you are that you dare to touch me, heathen?” the boy growled, his hand pushing down on the IV-needle he had pulled out of his arm in the blink of an eye only to apparently ram it into Dick’s left hand with a vengeance. Alright, yeah. This explained why Bruce had called him here.
“Bruce, we can’t keep sedating him every time he wakes up,” he finally said. “I know. We should fixate him next time.” “That’s- that’s not what I meant. I meant that we need something to get him to calm down-“ “We did calm him down,” Bruce interjected. “I meant without drugging him, for God’s sake!” Dick shouted.
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link-alou · 3 months
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Hello I am also in the DC fandom (you can probably tell from my page’s header). Take a quick doodle for a batfam au :3
I don’t remember if I dreamt the fic or if it actually exists, but the gist is: when a person is put in grave danger for the first time, they get the traits of whatever animal is closest to them. It only happens once, and sometimes people try to manipulate what animal another person gets the traits of, though it won’t always work.
Damian is a scorpion. What kind? I dunno! I just wanted to give him a stabby tail.
The art is when he was still getting used to Wayne Manor. Perhaps not violence-prone every second anymore, but still ready to lunge and stab. Due to him still being integrated into the family, there aren’t a whole bunch of clothes for him to wear yet; so I put the guy in an oversized red shirt that I’m pretending is a hand-me-down from Tim (I just want them to be brothers ok ☹️)
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chaotictoasterstrudel · 4 months
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I don't know if this is just me but I really want to see reverse robins fanart and fanfics where after, years of living with Bruce and Alfred, Damian has mellowed out a lot. (He's still himself but way less violent and more quiet and stoic and an awesome big brother)(tim came a few years after Damian and by then Damian was better than when he had first come to the manor but still just a ball of anger and violence so tim has a lot of story's from that time that the younger batfam members have a hard time believing but still do sorta). Like Alfred would probably have a photo book and show it to Jason and Dick and be like: "and this was master Damian's first time out on patrol. He was banned and grounded for 3 months and put on house arrest. This is master Damian's first day at school. We ended up late because we had to take away knives from him, and even then he still had about five that, luckily, he did not use when he got into a fight with another student." "Oh and this is his first gala. He tried to stab 10 different people. Master Bruce stopped him thankfully before he could" and as he is telling these stories about young Damian Jason and Dick are like
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They hear about 10 other stories about young Damian being an angry stabby child (they don't know that he was an assassin because I feel like Damian left that part of his life behind and doesn't tell anyone and Alfred wouldn't breach Damian's trust because he loves him) and now when Dick or Jason are setting the table they don't give Damian knives or when anyone else sets the table they both steal the knives until they realize that Damian doesn't know it's them and thinks that Alfred is taking them and thinks that Alfred is mad at him and doesn't trust him 😭 so they confess and apologize)
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quotidian-oblivion · 6 months
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✨Out of context lines shitpost Pt. 8✨
Part 7
Quo: This is it... our last day of childcare course. And... *sighs* I'm getting choked up. I met @mispeltnostalgia and got to know her well through this course and she's been the best irl fanfic buddy and older brother despite being a year younger than me ever.
Nog: These out of context things have made me so happy and its fun to look back and remember the funny shit that we have said and done this year. this deffo won't be the last though. Quo and I will forever be saying and doing stupid shit. Quo is the best little sister ever and while I'll miss our fridays together she cant get rid of me. I know too many of her fanfics and she's beta-ing my works.
Quo: You beta-ed a couple of mine too!
We'll still be posting the out of context lines, but there are going to be longer gaps since we're not gonna meet on Fridays anymore :( There's still our weekly study sessions that we dubbed TEAS on Wednesday!
~
Tim: *holding a ball of wool to Jason’s face as a pretend mic* What do you say about the Curse you just found out you have Jason: *clears throat* I hope it kills me. ~ Jason: What do you have to say about your Curse? Tim: …I’ve had it since I was fucking born. ~ Barbara: So I bought a pack of quick oats because I love oats. And then I bought another pack of overnight oats because it had yoghurt, and now I’m just realizing that I really am just a horse. Little Shit Young!Jason: THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN SAYING. ~ Damian: I’ve been able to find a knife, I’ve been able to find a fork, but I can’t find a spoon. Jon: You have all the stabby objects in your bag Damian: I also have a fuckton of crochet hooks and— a pocket watch?? *pulls out pocket watch* Where the fuck is my spoon. ~ Steph: So I was getting pumped up for this song but then I just hear this tiny Alvin and the chipmunks voice say “Party Rock” and it just dashed my hopes. Listen to this *Plays Party Rock Anthem”. Damian: … Steph: Like, imagine getting pumped up for one of your childhood songs then you just suddenly hear “party rock” in this high-pitched voice and I felt like killing myself. Damian: … Steph: And hear me out— Damian: I don’t think i want to hear you out anymore. Steph: *Continues to play Bad Romance covered by the Alvin and the Chipmunks” ~ Tim: *Watching a video of Bruce* Bart: Wait, your dad sounds American. Bart: And he speaks kind of like you too! Tim: Yeah, I wonder why my American dad who raised me sounds and has the same speech patterns as me. Hmm, good question. Bart: I just wasn’t expecting it. I forgot that American dads were a thing. ~ Steph: i am granting you the honor of waffle ~ Barbara: *looking for a place to put popcorn. Places the popcorn against Dick’s lap* Dick: hell yeah crotch popcorn! Omg crotchcorn! Barbara: Please don't. ~ Bruce: You have to be very careful out there. These racist attacks are getting worse. Dick: Don't worry, Pops. I'm with a white person, I'll be fine. Barbara: *chokes on her drink with laughter* ~ Tim: *mixes soda water, energy drink and trace amounts of tea together in a tumbler* For funsies. *chugs it* ~ Jason: *falls to the floor, crumbles and silently screams in a public library* Barbara: Stop it, you’re embarrassing yourself Jason: I’m a drama kid, I can do whatever I want ~ Steph: *singing* I am not a quitter Tim: *singing with her* Pocket full of glitter Steph: Yarn balls, I’m a knitter!  Steph and Tim: *singing together* I’m the whole package, baby! Tim: I haven’t met you Steph: But if you’re staaable Tim and Steph: Then here’s my number! And call me Mabel! ~ Alfred: *grabs Bruce by the shoulders and shakes* BE PRODUCTIVE! ~  Steph: IS THAT A PURPLE BALLOON??? Steph: *walks over, picks it up, and carries it like a baby* *whispers* I’m pregnant ~  Damian, high on pain meds: *giggling while he draws Tim falling off a roof* whee whee, hee hee, I’m so funny. Hee hee hee. He’s falling off a building.
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