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#five years ago i was easily hitting half a million
staceymcgillicuddy · 1 year
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2022 Year End Fic Review
Tagged by @khaleesa - thank you, friend!
1. What is your AO3 account?
StaceyMcGill, which honest to God I couldn't believe wasn't taken.
2. How many words did you write total in 2022?
168,396, though not all of them were fandom words, and not all of the fandom words were in this fandom.
3. How many fics did you publish in 2022? How many multichapters vs oneshots?
In Hellcheer, one multi-chap + one oneshot + a bunch of holiday shorts In other fandoms, one multi-chap + 3 oneshots
4. What was your longest fic? Your shortest fic?
Longest: to get my soul known again (currently 39,814 but it's easily going to top 100k+ because I do what I waaaaant, dammit, and I'm not held to best practice or publishing guidelines when I write fic)
Shortest: Trudge on Home to Celebrate (9,768)
5. What was your most popular fic? Your least popular fic?
Definitely one of my fics in the other fandom for least popular. It just didn't hit at all, and that's okay. Most popular is definitely soul, which hit in a way I was not expecting.
6. What fic didn’t perform as well as you thought it would?
The fic from the other fandom, which I thought would kill. But it's a more popular/saturated fandom than Hellcheer.
7. What fic performed way better than you thought it would?
to get my soul known again! Holy shit! It's 25 kudos away from 500 and I'm about to fall on the floor.
8. What was your favorite fic you wrote from 2022?
Gosh, I think I'm proudest of soul but I had a lot of fun with Trudge?
9. What was your favorite fic that somebody else wrote in 2022?
It's not Hellcheer, but I read a really great Schitt's Creek fic this year that I now can't find. It's David/Patrick, and if someone can recommend a Alexis/Ted fix-it fic that strums the same chord for me, I will be forever grateful.
10. Tag your friends to do this year-end fic review as well!
I think a lot of people have already been tagged, so I'm going to say that if you haven't been yet, consider this your tagging.
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kiddbegins · 5 months
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Cuteness Aggression - Connor Rhodes
Requested: yes
Word count: 707
Warnings: random facts that are boring included
A/n: these are all facts I genuinely just… knew…
masterlist
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Something you always managed to do in your free time was find a way to learn some random information or fun fact that you could spread around to those around you. You’ve randomly educated everyone about the great molasses flood of Boston in 1919, that William Mitchell created pop rocks by accident in the 60s while trying to make instant soft drinks, the fear of long words was hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia (which you could spell easily) and bucket loads more.
Each time it was met with excitement, your friends always adored hearing about them. No matter if it were history, science, english, anything based. If it was a fact coming from you, it was interesting. Sometimes you got the annoyed person that had had a bad day or just didn’t have the capability to soak up information that night but usually you were fine.
First and foremost on your biggest fans list was none other than Connor Rhodes, boyfriend of five years and fiance as of two weeks ago. He loved hearing you talk or ramble. Gave him the perfect excuse to just sit and listen silently. 
He was never much of a talker and usually that meant that his lovers would get annoyed when he was too quiet. But you never minded. Of course you’d make sure he was alright if his vibe was off that night but usually he was just content in listening to you.
Like a couple days ago when you went on a whole spiel about the Missouri and Mississippi Rivers and how the Missouri river was considered the longest river in the country when half of it was actually the Mississippi river because the two merged in St. Louis and the Mississippi is the one that leads down and out of New Orleans. Granted it was only by a mile but that mile still doesn’t make up for the fact it was stealing its length from the Mississippi.
Did he care about which river was technically longer? No. But the way you genuinely got worked up over it made him smile so wide his eyes crinkled. Which in turn made you grin because truly his eye creases were just one of your favorite things about him.
“Connor, wanna hear what someone at work said today?” You happily asked, falling onto the bed and looking over at the man who was already shirtless and under the covers. Of course he nodded, pulling you to lay down properly.
As soon as your head hit the pillow your smile grew, “So, I was talking to Annette right? And she was telling me about her cats and that she has an orange cat and a calico cat, which they’re adorable. I'll show you a picture after,” You interlocked your fingers with his as you spoke.
“Anyway, did you know that most orange cats are boys and most calico cats are girls? Isn’t that cool? Like no matter what-” You were cut off by a long and lingering kiss to the lips, followed by peck upon peck to your cheek, forehead, temple and all the spaces in between.
A giggle built up in your throat as you scrunched your face up, Connor’s nose bumping against yours as he pulled back slightly, “What was all that for? You trying to shut me up?” You teased, knowing full well he’d never try and make you stop talking.
He shook his head, placing a light kiss to the tip of your nose, “No, you’re just really adorable when you get excited over the stuff you learn.” Connor spoke softly, his heart feeling like it grew a million and one times just by looking at you.
Your cheeks tinged dark red, a bashful smile on your face, “I- oh,” You muttered, always flustered when he complimented you. Whether it was on your appearance or something smaller like this it made butterflies fly all throughout your stomach.
“God I can’t wait to marry you.” He mumbled, pulling you forward for another kiss, this one more sensible since he wasn’t overcome by cuteness aggression. His hand slid to the side of your face, simply holding you there.
You brought a hand up to cover his, pulling back just enough to speak, “Neither can I.”
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JOIN CONNORS TAGLIST HERE!
Tags: @winchesterszvonecek @everything-fandom @thebejeweledwatercat @mrspeacem1nusone @wnbweasley @alexxavicry @halsteadbrasil, @natashamea18 @katieemazz @firetruckstuckley
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fruitcoops · 2 years
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Hey eve :) I just found out the athletic trainers at my grad school aren’t going to clear me to play hockey for the team because of my chronic health condition :/ if you’re up to it, would you consider a lil angsty Loops before he joined the team bc he misses hockey ?
Ps ur writing is dragging my heart and soul thru a PhD program 💜
Fic O'Ween Day 9: Masquerade. Character credit goes to @lumosinlove <3
(I'm so sorry to hear about hockey, love. You've got this. I believe in you.)
It was hard to look at them, sometimes. The jerseys, the swagger, even their fucking flows—the stupid, silly things that shouldn’t bother him but they did. Even Sirius, who…well, Remus wouldn’t go so far as to say he could do no wrong, but he had his moments. When hockey slang would roll off his tongue so easily that it made Remus’ stomach clench, or when his voice would take on that particular up-and-down cadence of a well-placed chirp.
It was everything he could have been. Had been. Never would be again.
Remus worried the plastic edge of the page between his fingertips before flipping it. It had been seven years, eight in the fall. He should be over it by now. He loved his job, he loved his friends, he loved his boyfriend so much he didn’t know what to do with it all. It would come bubbling up and pouring out in kisses or dinner or a hug that made his heart feel like it would burst, and Sirius would laugh, and squeeze him just as tight.
He was lucky, so lucky, and still so goddamn sad when he saw his reflection next to his friends. Remus Lupin, NHL prospect, felt like a fever dream. Remus Lupin, too little to take a hit, was not a look he had missed in the years since everything fell apart. The muscle didn’t matter. It was the way he held himself, the shine in his eyes. Bulking up was just a series of chemical reactions but there was nothing that could bring that dream back to what it used to be.
He needed to be okay with it, or he would lose everything he had scraped together into a handful of vital happiness. Once upon a time, Remus would have done anything to rewind the clock. It felt good to have something to lose, now.
So every morning, he got up. He made coffee and took a shower, changed into his uniform, caught the subway like a half-million other commuters. He greeted Moody and chatted with Talkie for as long as he could manage. The repetition had numbed him just right when he started working for the Lions. No room for dwelling on the past when it was tucked in a neat little box.
“Loops.”
“Loops.”
“Loops.”
“Loops.”
A new name, too. Blue Gatorade and fist bumps coming off the ice. Remus attended the world’s most painful masquerade party every day and didn’t regret a second of it. He made that mask—he owned it, it was his and only his. ‘Loops’ was gentle and warm and comforting. Loops didn’t cry himself to sleep because some sweaty jock asked if he knew what a ‘Michigan’ looked like. Loops smiled. Chirped him. Moved on.
Remus carved out a nook for himself and refused to acknowledge the part of him that remained on that locker room floor, seven years old and still fresh when he poked it.
He figured Sirius understood, in a sense. There was power in the knowing. A piece of Sirius would always be in a dark, gaunt house and so he got it in a way few others rarely did—in a way Remus rarely let others see. It would be enough for them both until they were ready to say more.
“Je t’aime,” Sirius would whisper in the dark like he thought Remus wouldn’t hear. He’d say it loud, too, but that particular crack of heartbreak was not something for loud voices. He’d say, “you’re so good to me” and “how could I deserve you?”, often with a smile but always with a little too much truth underneath. It was a dance they did; he never wanted it to end.
An eternity ago, he would have given anything to step foot on the ice for just five more minutes. Now, in his office with a new roster in-hand and a small picture of him and Sirius framed near the corner edge, he would give anything to keep exactly what he had built.
(Mostly.)
(Sort of.)
(Some dreams never really died.)
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lightofthemoonglow · 2 years
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against the wall (ash williams x f!reader!)
it's the day before Memorial Day and you and Ash are the only people left after closing. things happen
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Value Stop is understaffed and what little staff they have is overworked. It’s a recipe for disaster, at least from any good manager’s point of view. So what happened the night before Memorial Day was inevitable. At least from your point of view.
You’re not a good manager.
Well, assistant manager/keyholder/whatever the latest term was.
They had trimmed the schedule to the bare bones so they could afford to fully staff for tomorrow. It’s just you and Ash at closing, cleaning up after the usual Sunday chaos after you’ve balanced the drawers and done all the usual managerial stuff.
The AC had gone out a while ago, it’s on a bullshit automatic timer. So you’re sweating, your work shirt starting to dampen as you wipe down the registers with something that is supposed to instantly disinfect it You doubt it can do that, but it’s none of your business. Ash has taken off his work shirt, leaving him in a sleeveless undershirt. You can’t help but steal glances. Ash might be a little older than you, but he’s still hot and you have working eyes.
It doesn’t help that he’s always been nice to you, even factoring in his inherent Ash-ness. He makes you laugh, gets customers to back off when they decide to tear into you, the two of you have even shared a joint in the parking lot after closing a couple of times.
After wiping down the registers, you decide to take a break. Just a few minutes in the back room with the fan on. And maybe with your shirt off.
You had only worn a sports bra under your work shirt, so that’s what Ash finds you in when he walks into the back room, still not wearing his work shirt. He lets out an appreciative whistle at the sight of your partially clothed body.
“Oh knock it off,” you mumble, feeling blood rush to your cheeks, making them prickle. “I know you’re just trying to be….nice. Or whatever.”
No one flirts with you for real. At least not when you’re in your work uniform, with your hair tied back in a way meant to be practical, instead of flattering. There are dark circles under your eyes from not being able to sleep and you definitely look tired from working over eight hours a day for the past five days in a row.
“Baby, that’s my special whistle. I don’t use it unless I mean it.” Ash draws closer, until he’s standing right in front of you, smiling in a way you’ve never quite seen before. “C’mon kid…don’t you feel it? This thing between us?”
You do feel it, you have felt it and it’s stronger than ever right now.
Ash easily lifts you out of your seat, your legs going around his waist as if you had done this a million times before. The wall by the table is as good a place as any, your sports bra winding up across the room before you back even hits the wall. Ash makes equally quick work of your uniform khakis, wolfishly grinning as his hands touch your bare flesh.
“Always knew you had a great can,” he murmurs as he gropes your ass, kneading it lustfully.
“Shut up,” you giggle, nipping his earlobe. “Got a rubber?”
“Always do.”
It’s only after Ash is finally inside of you, trying to mouth at your tits as he pounds you against the wall, that you remember there’s a camera back here. But you’re soon quickly more focused on how fuckin good he feels, so thick that you can barely breathe half the time. “Fuck…you feel so good.”
“So do you…can’t believe we waited this long.” Ash sucks on your neck, having decided to use his hands to grope you, leaving only your limbs to hold you up. “Should have done this years ago.”
“Well, we can always make up for lost time,” you manage to get out. “Your place or mine?”
“Doesn’t matter. All I can think about is that we’re talking too much.”
Can’t really disagree with that, especially as he picks up the pace.
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Dog Tags
Billy Russo x Female!Reader
Request by @nebulastarr​ : Hey! Whenever requests open up again, could you do a Billy Russo x Reader where the reader liked Billy but doesn’t want to tell him because she thinks he won’t feel the same way
A/N: I was going to wait and get down to writing this once I was finished with my series... But this one has simply hit a little too close to home. I couldn’t stop thinking about it when I saw it and I ended up putting a lot of personal stuff in it so I’m sorry if it feels chaotic at times. Thank you for requesting, love, I hope it lives up to your expectations.    The Only Living Thing series will be back with its third part next week.  The song: Isak Danielson - Power
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All you heard was an excited scream, that raised above all of the New York’s past-6-pm commotion, as a slender tall body smashed into you, locking you in a bone-crushing hug. You laughed happily, albeit feeling a little bit uncomfortable in Karen’s strong hold. You knew it didn’t seem that way, but Karen packed a wicked punch in those elegant arms of hers. Those self-defense sessions with Frankie boy that she’s been gushing about over the phone must have been finally paying off.
“Once I am done hugging you, I am so kicking your ass,” she breathed out into your hair as she squeezed you harder, as if reading your thoughts. “You’ve been ghosting me for what, a month now?”
You sighed guiltily as Karen pushed you slightly away, keeping her hands on your shoulders. You watched her as she studied your face, a creeping smile stinging at the corners of her mouth.
Grabbing one of her elbows, you groaned dramatically, pulling her towards the busy road. With your hands locked, you finally admitted:
“I did suck at communicating these past couple of weeks. Work’s been…. hectic”, the lie tasted bitter on your tongue, but this was the best explanation you’ve been able to come up with so far. “Please don’t kill me”.
Trying to keep up with your power walk, Karen let a bubbling laughter leave her lips.
“You’re not the one who should be worried then,” she gave you one of those bright trademark smiles of hers. “Next time I’m going to interview Russo, I’ll…”
You stuttered at her tirade as you walked, and of course it didn’t go by unnoticed. Karen was the best journalist you have ever met during your prominent career. She just sensed that sort of thing.
“I’m getting this ‘I-meant-to-tell-you-Karen-but-I-didn’t-and-now-you’ll-need-to-fight-it-out-of-me’ vibe”, she gave you a scrutinising look. “Want to maybe share whatever it is you’ve been not telling me before I go full interrogation mode on your plump backside?”
You rolled your eyes as you led her to a terrace-ringed Upper East Side high-rise, waving to the doorman through the glass doors. Jackson, a thirty-five year old ex-military with three kids and a labrador, gave you a brilliant smile as he hurried to open them for you.
“Good evening, Mrs Y/L/N!” He bowed his head in a stiff, very army-like manner. “A package arrived this afternoon for you, should I bring it up?”
From the corner of your eye, you caught Karen looking around, confusion written all over her face. You had a lot to catch up on.
“Don’t worry about it, Jax, just give it to me,” you didn’t mean to urge him, but you couldn’t wait to change out of your corporate attire into some comfortable old pyjamas and crack open a bottle of whiskey - that’s right, some habits did die hard. And to think you were a bubbles-kind of girl a year ago when you met him.
You could feel Karen’s blue eyes drill a hole in the back of your head as you took a small, envelope-sized package from Jackson’s hands.
It wasn’t until you both stepped into the elevator that Karen cleared her throat.
“When you said you’d rather have a girls’ night in, I asked Frank to pick me up from Queens, not from…here,” she spoke, her eyes skimming expensive red wood and mirrors. “Did you finally sleep with Russo and moved in with him?”
Whatever it was that Karen expected you to say to that, it definitely didn’t include you spitting out a roaring laugh, as you nearly dropped the package on the floor.
“Quite the opposite, actually,” you informed her after you finally restored your breath. “I left Anvil. And, well, Russo. At the end of last month”.
A half-bottle of whiskey for you and a bottle of white wine for Karen later, both of you were sprawled out on the lambskins thrown over the hardwood floor in your living room. Jazz music was seeping out of the speakers by the TV, a couple of Diptyque candles emitting a soft yellow glow.
You stared at the ceiling of your new living quarters, your mind a blur. As you folded your hands on your stomach, you felt Karen twitch as she bent her elbow and leaned her blond head on the palm of her hand, facing you.
“So let me get this straight,” she paused, narrowing her eyes. “After becoming the Forbes’ hottest CSO, concluding what can easily be described as deals of the century - especially the one with Anthony Stark aka Iron Man and his magnificent goatee…”
Involuntary, you giggled at this. This talk brought out some very dear memories that you wouldn’t trade for the world - the way Billy’s dark eyes shimmered in the dim lights of the opera house as he gave you a look that said you did it, ever the perfect team… Or the way he threw his arms around your frame, his long fingers sliding down your back… You knew you looked good in that dress, but the moment Billy saw you wearing it… You felt like the only girl in the world, the way his jaw dropped a tad, his lips opening up in awe…
Oookay, Y/N, can’t go there, your mind screamed at you as you wiped that dreamy smile off your face. Sitting down, you took your whiskey glass, and washed those memories away with a gulp of amber liquid.
Meanwhile, Karen ranted on.
“…you just quit?!”
She jumped to her feet all of the sudden, brushing her blond hair away from her face as she watched you excitedly.
“Jesus Christ, did Billy make a move?! He made a move on you, didn’t he?”
The urge to facepalm was fierce, almost overpowering, but you managed to resist. Slamming your empty glass against the floor harder than you intended, you gave her a bored look.
“No, Karen, why… Why in the world would you think that?” You sounded just a little short of desperate, so you cleared your throat. “I was his second-in-command, that wouldn’t have been appropriate…”
When you were done studying the flame, dancing within the glass walls of one of the nearby candles, you raised your eyes to meet Karen’s. She wore quite possibly the most blatant look of ‘you are shitting me’ on her face.  
“So you just quit?” she stared at you in disbelief, unblinking. “No explanations provided?”
“This wasn’t how it happened,” you said, hating the fact that you felt like you had to justify yourself. You brought your knees closer, hugging them tightly. “I…”
“…I’m here to see William Russo”. 

With a nonchalant gesture, you unbuttoned your Burberry coat, looking at a red-head secretary behind a desk that screamed power and status with every inch of its epic proportions.
Anvil was certainly new money. With all of those hedge funds injecting their cash into emerging companies, there was no shortage of these - entrepreneurial endeavours that didn’t last long.
You didn’t know that at the time, but you were going to make sure this one would.
“My name is Y/N Y/N/L,” you added, perching your sunglasses on top of your head. “He’s expecting me.”
The red-head gave you a polite smile before checking something on her Mac.
“Welcome, Miss Y/N/L,” she almost seemed shy, as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear before standing up. “Mr Russo is indeed waiting for you. If you would like to follow me, please”.
As the redhead led you through the training grounds, packed with fit men and women that looked like they walked straight outta Gym Shark ad, you did notice a couple of vagrant stares in your direction. You couldn’t blame them. You looked slightly out of place; more Vogue than the setting allowed for.
You quit your job as the COO of a global FinTech company just weeks ago, looking for a new challenge. It was an adventure of a lifetime, and while your ex-executive board had literally begged you to stay, once you’d decided something, no promise of a generous promotion could make you change your mind. While you absolutely loved your job, working for one of the most prominent online payment giants in the world, it felt like it was time for you to step down. Due to all the processes and wise investments you’d initiated, the company could make millions of profits without their CEO having so much as to lift a finger.
And you, well, you lived for the hustle. And that’s exactly what you were here for.
You still had your doubts about Anvil’s owner and acting CEO, though. William “Billy” Russo had already become a household name in the financial circles, albeit the company he was spearheading had little to do with the FinTech space. Some said he had the potential to succeed; others badmouthed him for being ruthless and balancing on the very edge of legal limits.
In short, the man had you intrigued. So the very moment he called and invited you to drop by Anvil to talk strategy, you knew you had to meet him.
See the beast for yourself, so to speak.
The first thing you noticed about William Russo as you walked into his office, spacious and entirely transparent, with its glass walls overlooking the training grounds, was experience, for the lack of a better word. It was etched into his every handsome feature, especially into his scruff strong-willed jaw. As he raised his gaze to meet yours upon the red-head’s announcement, his black eyes swallowing you whole, you realized no light reflected on their surface. There was a certain confidence to him as he raised from his chair, his white shirt straining some over his chest, long dark strands of hair falling onto his long eyelashes. This man meant business, as those black impenetrable eyes zeroed in on yours. He almost seemed too flawless - to spotless to be an ex-marine, stained with blood and murder.
All that Hallmark handsomeness was nothing but a cover.
Before William Russo had even got a chance to open his mouth, you were determined to find out what was lurking underneath.
“Mrs Y/L/N”, the hot-shot gave you a polite smile. “Thank you for coming”.
“Nice to meet you, Mr. Russo”, you didn’t move an inch. He may have invited you for interview, but he wasn’t the only one with a long set of demands.
You briefly wondered if he knew that.
Before your thoughts could take you further, William Russo made his way to you, composed and calculated. He stopped by your side, albeit for a moment; rolling the sleeves of his shirt further up, he shot the red-head a charming smile (nothing like the one he gave you).
“Olivia, would you please bring a fresh pot of coffee to the conference room? Mrs Y/L/N and I have a lot to discuss”.
When he turned back to face you, you noted unconsciously that he was taller than you expected, the top of your head barely reaching his shoulders. The cool and composed look was back on his face as he motioned towards the doors.
“Would you like to follow me, Mrs…”
“Y/N”, you cut in with a slight raise of your chin. “I’d also prefer to call you William while I tear Anvil’s strategy down”.
His reaction didn’t disappoint. Some tension left his arms, his stung-up body relaxing just enough for a spark of mischief and curiosity flicker its way to his eyes’ surface.
A twinkle of a smile danced across his lips as he bit on the inside of his cheek, nodding ever so slightly in approval.
“It’s Billy”, he said, amusement echoing in his every word. "I don’t expect any leniency, Y/N”.
“Good”, you replied instantly, looking him straight into his eyes. “That’s not what I came here for”.
He nodded again.
And this time, there was liveliness in the quirk of his brow and a touch of insecurity in the corners of his mouth.
Now that was the man you could potentially work with.
Working with William Russo was anything but predictable. There were, however, certain patterns to his way of handling things. Whatever the trouble was, Billy was good at seeing the bigger picture - he was usually able to put things into perspective, but there were occasions when he refused to. You dare say that sometimes, you felt like he thought that money didn’t matter - like Anvil’s financial prosperity didn’t matter - as long as his team got not to risk their lives one extra time. You watched him turn down several lucrative deals that you’d busted your ass to put on his table, because it involved sending his men a little too far from home, in a place where he had no strings to pull whatsoever should anything go south. A part of you (the part that wasn’t frustrated as hell) admired him for that - it didn’t, however, stop you from disagreeing with him, time and again.
You may have never been to Iraq, and may have never known the horrors of sleeping with the bombs exploding a mere kilometer away, but you knew a game-changer when you saw it. There were risks involved, there was no arguing about that, but those were calculated, and those kind of deals could make Anvil jump straight to the top of the private military sector overnight.
William and you disagreed.
When William and you disagreed, no voice was raised, no blood was spilt, but Billy usually became distant, cold and just short of snappy when those conversations took place.

He only crossed the line once. 


You were three months into your job as Anvil’s Chief Strategy Officer when Mayhew happened.
The clock on your desk showed midnight as you paced in your office, on the phone with Rex Mayhew, the U.S. Ambassador in Cairo. A cat-and-mouse game between the Egyptian Armed Forces and the nefarious arms dealer group had become common knowledge since a week or so; the U.S. special forces got involved in the conflict when it’d been discovered that the arms were being transported onto American soil. Rex, an old friend from your Yale days, had let you in on the fact that General Richard Ravelin, in charge of the operation, was looking to reinforce his rangs with private military before “neutralising the threat”. This was a one-in-a-lifetime opportunity, with a potential governmental recognition in play… and Billy wanted to hear nothing of it.
You were exhausted and barely hanging in there; Billy was categorical and stubborn.
You’ve dropped the phone on your table promising Rex you were going to give him an answer in two hours, tops. Taking a deep breath, you walked out of your office, your bare feet thudding on the parquet floors of the corridor. When you reached Billy’s hideout, you found the man leaning against his desk with a glass of whiskey in his unnerved hand.
“Billy…” you spoke firmly, barely stepping through the doorway. “Rex…”
“Can go fuck himself”.
Oh, okay. No sugarcoating this. Alright.
You saw his lips barely touch the amber liquid as he slammed the glass against the surface of his desk.
“I said no, Y/N,” he wasn’t facing you anymore, leaning on his desk with his hands digging into the wood, his back tense. “Please just go home. Have a good night sleep. We will talk about this tomorrow.”
You could have sworn you felt your head starting to fume. This was the third time Billy Russo was shutting you down. For the third time he was making you feel like an incompetent fool when you were trying to do your goddamn job.
Why in hell would he hire you if whatever vision you had for Anvil didn’t match with his own?!
“You could at least say this to my face, Billy,” you spoke a bit harshly before you could stop yourself. “You know, to my tired and disappointed face, with a mouth that you have been shutting up every time it offers you a deal of the century”.
This sounded so much better in your head.  
“Why did you hire me?” you asked almost immediately, trying to soften the impact of the words that had already escaped. “If this isn’t the direction in which you want to take your company, maybe I should just…”
“Oh for fuck’s sake, Y/N, just fucking leave already!” Billy snapped like a branch that’s been holding too much weight, the sound of it dry and final.
…maybe I should just rethink the entire plan.  
There was no point in finishing that sentence now, was there?
“I was there long before you came along, so I’d think I know a shitstorm in the making when I see one!” Billy was looking at you alright, brushing his hair back, his eyes black and void.
You had wished It would have been new to you - looking in William Russo’s eyes and not seeing him there. But it wasn’t. He was back to his Hallmark version of a man, but instead of playing a hero, he was now putting on his villain guise.
“Let’s get something straight here,” he leaned back on his desk, crossing his arms on his chest, his black eyes narrowed. “While you were making your way to the top of a rich-ass cookie-cutter FinTech company, I was crawling in the dirt in Iraq under a downpour of the Trident D5LE missiles. While the closest thing you’ve come to havin’ your hands dirty was bribing an investor or two, I was fucking beheadin’ people under the direction of the CIA,” his words were cold, measured and rhythmic, like a round of bullets being fired on a range. “You know nothing of what’s it like to be in the middle of that kind of shit show, princess, so when I fucking say no, you listen. Is that clear?”
Bark. Sit. Roll over.
“Crystal. Sir.”, you finally broke the heavy silence hanging in the air, just barely resisting the urge to salute him. “I’ll see myself out.”
Biting the inside of your cheek like your life depended on it, once you turned your back on him, your first thought was don’t you dare cry on his account, bitch and then almost right away wait at least until you’re home.
You could have sworn you heard William call your name in a stranded voice, but you made sure to slam the door somewhat hard as you left his office so you could pretend you didn’t hear him.
If you were to face him now, with all that power and toughness he exuded… You would never admit it, even to yourself, but you’d just end up on the floor, huddled into a shivering little ball.
You were grateful that the next day after the shit went down with Mayhew fell on a Friday. When you stumbled into your apartment in Queens at almost one in the morning, you immediately shot an email to the HR department asking for a day off. Once that’d been done, you dialled Rex to decline his offer to introduce Anvil to general Ravelin, washed the makeup off your face and crawled into bed, hugging the second pillow close to your chest.
You didn’t cry, if that’s what you’re wondering.
As you rolled out of bed in the morning at around 8 am, you took a shower and grabbed a coffee from the kitchen before settling behind your home office desk with a heavy head. When you opened up the Keynote presentation with your strategy outlined for the H1, you couldn’t help but steal a glance at the iPhone you left on your couch last night.
You weren’t going to check if you had any missing calls.
There was nothing you had left to say to each other.
…with your chest hollow, you powered up the screen. There were no missed calls and no new messages.
It all looked like you had another strategy to build now. If Billy Russo thought that calling you a rich-ass princess that knew nothing of the world, all butterflies and rainbows, was going to make you resign, then man, was he in for a surprise.
You once heard one of his men compare you to a military convoy, when the guy thought you weren’t listening.
He had no idea.
You spent the morning refilling you coffee cup and rebuilding your H1 plan from scratch. After about eleven calls with the people you knew could get you a foot in the door of the offices of some government officials, billionaires and generals, after typing, deleting and typing again for 5 hours straight, by 2pm you had a solid game plan. You were pretty sure it would still need some tweaking from Castle, who essentially held the role of the Chief Operating Officer, dispatching men and women on missions and planning operations, and, well, from Billy Russo.
The Badass-ex-Sniper-turned-CEO himself.    
You kept the email short and to-the-point, sending the document over to Russo with Castle on copy, saying you’d be in the office to debrief on Monday. 

Refusing to check whether your email’d been opened, you slammed your MacBook shut.
The rest of the day rolled on uneventfully. You grabbed a coffee with the People Culture Officer from your previous company, who also happened to be one of your dearest friends; then you picked up your dry cleaners and did some shopping, cracking for a pair of new shoes in Saks Fifth Avenue.
Shoes were, indeed, your weakness.
By the time you got home, the tired sun was yawning, stretching its rays in one last effort before rolling into bed. Humming a Dua Lipa song under your breath, you were putting your new Jimmy Choo’s away when you suddenly heard your phone ring.
You didn’t even have to look at it to know who it was. 

You checked the time, however, noticing is was two minutes after the official end of the working day.
“Hi, Y/N”, Billy spoke, clearing his throat. “Are you… Um… Any chance you’re available to meet tonight? I would really appreciate it if you could give me fifteen minutes of your time. Please.”
It sounded like the real Billy Russo was back around. Insecure. Rugged. Imperfect.
“Can you pick me up?” you asked softly, “I’ll text you my address. There’s a pizza place just around the corner, I could use a free slice”, you circled the cold coffee cup you left on the counter with your finger. “Free as in you’re paying, Russo”.
A laugh that came somewhere from within caressed your ear.
“Uh, yes, I’m actually… Yeah, thanks. I’m leaving the office now,” even if he tried to hide it, a shocked surprise still seeped through the cracks in between the vowels.
You chuckled silently at his reaction.
“Just one more thing,” you ventured, placing the cup in the sink and making your way to the balcony - your small piece of heaven with a wooden chair, pillows and lavender. As you stepped outside, you put oyour free hand on the railing, just to feel the coolness of it, the evening air and the gentle flower smell stroking your skin. “What kind of car should I be on the lookout for?”
Billy hesitated, biting his bottom lip, running his nervous fingers through the thick strands of dark hair. The setting sun was hitting him just from the right angle, making his sculpted cheeks look like they were made of marble.
“A Rolls Royce Wraith”, he squirmed, rubbing his forehead, probably realising how lame and pretentious it sounded. “I’ll call you once I’m downstairs”.
“Uh-huh”, you smirked, leaning on the railing with your forearms.
You saw Russo pinch the bridge of his nose, sinking his teeth into his bottom lip again. 

Your small balcony provided quite a view, when you really thought about it.
“Don’t take too long”, you couldn’t help it, it really was stronger than you. “I’m starving”.
With a wide grin, you dropped the call and went back into your apartment.
You were planning to make him wait for ten extra minutes when he would finally “arrive”.
Just for the hell of it.
“That’s a lot of hot sauce for one pizza”, Billy commented, watching you spray your truffles and cheese generously with the piquant olive oil.
You gave him a mischievous smile.
“What can I say,” you shrugged, leaning back in your chair and licking the tip of your finger after you swept a drop of it from the top of the bottle. “I like them hot”.
That startled a laugh out of Billy as he eyed you with something in his irises looking a lot like awe.
Just when he was about to speak, a servant brought a glass of red wine for him and bottle of sparkling water for you.
You thanked the guy with a sweet smile, while Billy eyed him a bit coldly, obviously waiting for him to leave.
When the waiter had finally made himself scarce, Billy softly called your name.
You raised your eyes to meet him, struggling as hell to keep your stare vacant. (Which was hard to do with some foreign tightness in your throat).
“Before we dig in and I hope spend a nice evening as two friends, getting together on a Friday night”, he didn’t even blink? Was he blinking? You couldn’t tell, his black eyes swallowing you whole, again. “I want to apologise. I was completely out of line… It was unacceptable. You don’t need my validation, of course, but I still want you to know that you are doing a terrific job at Anvil, taking us to the heights I never even thought existed. It’s just… It’s hard for me sometimes to be a good CEO and someone who promised to take care of my men at the same time… Everything is happening so fast, I’m afraid to lose my footing.”
You reached out for his hand across the table before you could stop yourself. You didn’t take it, but your fingers brushed his ever so slightly before you realized what you were just about to do. Your eyes widened as you looked at him, searching for a reaction. 

Billy remained perfectly still, not taking his eyes off you.
You grabbed a napkin next to his wrist, pretending this was what you had meant to do all along. 

“We’ll get there, Billy”, you said, a small encouraging smile blooming on your lips. “We just need some tweaking”.
You weren’t sure if you were talking about strategy at this point anymore.
You had a great time at dinner.
(And a whole-hearted laugh as Billy finished your remainders of the truffle pizza, downing a litre of water to numb down the burning sensation in his throat afterwards).  
You talked about your respective lives, your ex-colleagues, your hopes for the future… You dared think this who the real Billy Russo was.
And he was incredible.
After the two of you were done with dinner, you offered him to come upstairs to your place and go through the new strategy together. He didn’t hesitate, although you could swear you’d seen something ambiguous flash in the depths of his dark eyes before he nodded.
(You must have imagined it.)
The two of you ended up sprawled out on your soft faux fur carpet talking game plan, bouncing ideas off each other. You watched Billy frown, as he rubbed his mouth with his long fingers, smile in excitement and shake his head in awe when you voiced your ideas - you felt proud and appreciated, and you wouldn’t trade the sensation for anything in the world.
A couple of hours later the two of you had finally decided that it was enough brainstorming for one night, and you rose to your feet to go and make Billy a coffee before he got behind the wheel. As you pushed the start button on your coffee machine, you heard him speak over the noise.
“You know I’ve done four tours - three in Iraq and one in Afghanistan”, you popped your head up, only to see him play absentmindedly with something on his chest. “And every time I’m considering a mission for Anvil, I find myself back in there again… A part of a death squad.”
You carefully picked up his cup of coffee and made your way back to him. You didn’t say a word as you leaned lower to hand it over to him, encouraging him to go on. 

Billy thanked you in a whisper before clearing his throat.
“Every time I have to send them somewhere, especially overseas, I force myself to stop and think… Is this really worth it? Is a fat check really worth putting the lives of my men and women in danger? And most importantly - you may think it’s stupid…” he avoided your gaze, staring into his coffee cup, a miserable smile on his lips. “I think, will it make a difference? If one of them dies on a mission, I have to at least know they made a difference… it’s selfish and it’s more about the peace of my own mind, but it is what it is, you know?”
When he looked up at you, his eyes were full, full to the brim. There was so much emotion in them, hatred, misery, hope, adoration, all whipped in a wild mix that was Billy Russo’s dark, velvet eyes.
“I carry these at all times,” the fingers of his free hand dropped to his chest, as he got a hold of something hanging around his neck. A necklace? “When in doubt, I just look at them - they help me remember where I’ve been and what I’ve done - and I just know if it’s worth it or not. The answer is usually no, by the way”.
He smiled again, the curve of his lips looking less haunted this time, as he sipped on his coffee.
Dog tags. Those were Russo’s dog tags.
“So they’re your reminder that, even being a badass CEO of a private military company”, you couldn’t help but feel some kind of zero gravity settling in your lower stomach as you saw him chuckle at your words. “…you still have a heart”.  
“How poetic”, Billy teased you without missing a beat, putting the empty cup on the floor next to him. “But yeah. Sort of, I guess”.
As you fell asleep that night, you dreamed about explosions, piquant olive oil and holding Billy Russo’s dog tags in your hand.
The time flew by after that. In 8-month time (after some tweaking) Billy Russo and you became a team. It sometimes felt like nothing could stop you, as long as you were together.
It should not have come as a surprise that the two of you earned yourselves a catchy nickname - at first, it was spoken solely behind your backs, but soon enough it became some kind of a title, more powerful than that of the CEO or the CSO.
Anvil’s men and women (and especially Frank - the fact that he invented the nickname secretly tickled him pink) - were now calling you Bonnie and Clyde. The ultimate partners in crime, against all odds, doing the impossible.
The two of you also settled in an almost homely kind of routine. Ever since that Mayhew fiasco and the day that followed, Friday had become the non-spoken partners in crime day. What it meant in practice was exchanging Friday jokes on Anvil’s internal communications suite…
(Billy once attacked you with a “would you look at this, just found the actual footage of your interview @ Anvil”. Before you even got a chance to answer, he forwarded you a cheesy meme with two old women speaking to each other, one of them saying “We need someone who can do the job of two men”, and the other responding “oh, so it’s only a part-time job then”. When you shot him back a message asking whether he really considered himself an arthritic old woman, that seemed to have shut him up).
…grabbing a beer in a bar nearby…
(you sometimes invited your colleagues to join you, plus it was an unspoken rule that Frank and Karen were to be there as well)  
…you making fun of Billy Russo’s eating habits…
(It was honestly a nuisance to have a lunch with him. The list of things he refused to eat went on and on: no asian food, no food chain restaurants (even high-rated), no soups, no cheesecakes… He sure was settling well in that peaceful life he earned after spending all those tours living off canned food).
…and just overall enjoying each other’s company.
By the time the ninth month of your being Anvil’s CSO had rolled in, you couldn’t imagine not seeing Billy Russo every day. Not noticing him rolling his eyes at a smart-ass comment you or Frank made, or his orbs lighting up every time you told him the deal with that or this decision maker had gone through. You simply could not understand how you managed to live day in and day out, and think you were genuinely happy, before you actually met Billy. Everything before him just faded away somehow, your memories lost their colour and spike in comparison to the life you were living now. You kicked ass at your job, your career thrived, but most importantly, you were feeling like this was exactly where you were meant to be, braving the obstacles by Billy Russo’s side, knowing he would catch you should you fall.
He would, wouldn’t he?
It was your usual Friday night outing, the seven of you - Billy, Frank, Karen, Curtis, James from legal, Ashley from mine clearance and yourself - occupying your usual table at Whimsy, the bar that must have made 90% or their revenus off of Anvil’s folk. It was just around the corner from the headquarters, after all.  
The overall mood of the evening was rather nostalgic. It’d been four weeks since you’d lost a team member in a crossfire in Falluja, Iraq. After everything was said and done, his loss still hung heavy in the air, and it felt right to get one more drink in Jasper’s honour. The conversation flowed easily, even though the topics you’d spoken about were anything but.
“I remember how I felt when I lost Andy”, Ashley nursed her beer as she stared into the distance. “I just literally had the weight of the entire world on my shoulders, pinning me to the ground, I just couldn’t move on”, she finished her bottle in one go and motioned for the bartender to bring her another one. “Sometimes, I just ask myself, what would have I done if I’d known he was going to die the next day? Would I have stopped him from going? I think I would,” she thanked the bartender as he put the beer in front of her, her eyes a bit foggy. “Yeah, I definitely would have.”
Frank grasped Ashley’s shoulder and squeezed it hard in a comforting gesture; Karen gave her a tender look.
You didn’t know why your mind had gone there, but all of the sudden a memory of Billy sitting in his office chair, laughing his ass off at some offhand comment you’d made flashed before your eyes; it quickly got replaced by the recollection of his hand brushing against yours during the Zoom meeting you’ve had with general Warren Singer; then you remembered him putting his hand on the small of your back, staring daggers at some army brat wanting to join Anvil, eyeing you like a piece of meat (you learned later that day that the man’d been thrown out before having a chance to introduce himself); until finally, your brain stopped dead at the picture of Billy running his nervous fingers through his hair as he called you from his car, telling you he was only leaving the office.
What would you do if you knew he was going to die tomorrow?  
Your heart sunk at the thought as you gulped hard, ducking your head and staring at your hands folded in your lap.
A soft touch enveloping your elbow had you facing the man of the hour, his black eyes shimmering with concern.
“Are you okay?” he half-whispered, half-mouthed, not letting go of your hand.
No.
Nothing is okay, Billy.
I’m so happy that I met you, but you’re scaring the hell out of me.
I never wanted any form of eternity until now, I never saw the point…
So stay. Please, stay forever, and feel something for me, too.
“Yes. I’m fine,” you whispered back, staring into his eyes, hypnotised and helpless. You watched him turn away from you as if in slow motion, the warmth of his hand leaving nothing behind but emptiness in your bones.
“Here is to always telling the things that matter to the people who matter”, Billy spoke firmly, raising his beer. “Here’s to never missing a chance to open up to the people we love”.
Well, if this was his way of crossing the t's and putting the dots to the i’s regarding his feelings for you, he couldn’t have been clearer. 

As far as confessions of love went, this one was non-existent.
You tried, time and again, to convince yourself you had to go. You learned the hard way that your unrequited feelings were feeding on a sort of inadvertent parasitic relationship where every moment of your day depended on the level of Billy’s unintentional emotional indifference. Your days were spent questioning his every move - every look and every touch; until, the grown-ass woman that you were, you’d commanded yourself to stop second-guessing everything - stop feeling - and decided your best course of action would be… to work yourself into the ground.
If Billy ever noticed anything, he didn’t show it - your were still you, after all, working hard, laughing when he said something funny, calling him out on his bullshit when needed. He didn’t notice slight change in your eyes, when their icy surface cracked at every other compliment he threw in your direction (and there was no shortage of those). He didn’t realize the smile you gave him was different from those tightlipped signs of appreciation you gave to Anvil’s potential clients, he didn’t think twice about the reason for which you glowed around him, your every move softening, your every gesture emanating warmth.
Because Billy hadn’t really known you until you started to have feelings for him.
You knew this couldn’t go on forever. This entire situation was bound to result in some explosion of nuclear proportions, and then all hell would break loose. You needed to get yourself out of this situations, but you just… couldn’t. You couldn’t imagine your life without Billy Russo. You couldn’t leave him.
Even if being friends with him meant tearing yourself apart and suffering in silence. 


Long story short, you waited with fear in your bones for someone to walk into your life and to get you out. You’ve had no fight left in you to do it yourself.
Your salvation came in the form of a phone call on a Friday evening, when Billy was on a recruiting mission in California.
You were typing back a response to his cheeky message when the call cut in half-sentence.
Billy Russo: Please remind me to take you with me instead of Frank next time? He’s driving me insane trying to set me up with the ladies from the Organising Committee. Any ideas on how I can calm him the fuck down?
You: Sorry, Billy, but recruiting is out of my mission scope. As for the calm down part, try bondage maybe? :)
Billy Russo: I’m going to pretend you did not just suggest I engage in sexual practices with Frankie. Karen will have my balls.  
Billy Russo: But perhaps you’re right. Taking you with me is probably not a good idea. Wouldn’t want my new recruits’ brains to turn into mush because of how beautiful you are.
You: The flattery will….
“Hello? Y/N speaking”, you brought your phone close to your ear, your cheeks still a lovely shade of pink. If you were going to feel miserable when Billy came back, acting like nothing happened, you were sure going to make the best of that fuzzy feeling in your chest right now.
“Miss Y/N/L”, a smooth deep voice greeted you, and you could have sworn you’d heard it many times before. “I hope I’m not interrupting?”
Frowning in an attempt to remember, you urged:
“No, not at all. How can I help you?” you stared into the screen of your Mac, wheels turning in your head as you silently catalogued all the men you were in discussions with regarding a deal. “I didn’t catch your name…”
“Oh, how rude of me”, the man chuckled but there was no mockery in his voice, more like self-depreciation. “Tony Stark, from Stark Industries”.
Your mind went blank. Did you hear his last words correctly?
“Uh… Mr. Stark”, you quickly got a hold of yourself - well, as quickly as you could. “I appreciate you reaching out to me directly. What can Anvil do for you?”
You did a pretty bang-up job trying to mask your amazement with polite cheerfulness, and Stark had caught on that.
Tony Stark just called your cellphone number. What in the world?…
“We don’t really do alien invasions”.
Ohyourgod, did you just say it out loud?!
His uproarious laughter took you by surprise, reverberating through your entire body. It took every ounce of your self-control not to giggle in response.
“That’s a good one, I love it”, Stark finally said, restoring his breath. “And the better question would be, Y/N - can I call you Y/N? - what you can do for me”.
Before your brain could take you into some naughty direction, freaking Iron Man cleared his throat.
“Okay, this came out wrong,” he admitted with a sense of self-irony. “I um… I’m looking for the Co-Chief Executive Officer for Stark Industries. Well, Virginia Potts is actually looking for a Co-CEO, I’m just her errand boy. And my missions apparently include recruiting…. Anyway,” it was a bit of a challenge to follow Anthony Stark’s train of thought, but you were also still shocked, so that could explain it. “…I think you are the perfect fit for the job”.
You just stared into the screen front of you, your breathing barely audible.
“Mrs Potts and I would love it if you could swing by the A-Tower, let’s say, on Thursday? You’ll be surprised, but I can also whip up a mean cup of coffee…”
Say something.
Fucking hell.
Say something!…
“Thursday sounds great,” you blurted out without thinking. “Let me just shuffle my schedule around… I could stop by after lunch?”

 Your hands were slightly shaking as you clicked on your mouse, opening your schedule window.
“Whatever works for you, Y/N”, you could hear Stark smile. “Not to sound like a creep, but I’ve been following your career for quite a while now, and I think that the work you've done in such a short span of time for Anvil is outstanding, even though you still don’t offer protection from alien invasions”.
That made you chuckle, pushing you halfway out of your stupor.
“I’ll put that on the list of things for us to consider”, you promised.
"Tell Mr. Russo I sent my best,” Stark added, and you felt your heart drop to your stomach. “I actually might have some ideas for how we could collaborate. Let's discuss this on Thursday, too, shall we?”
After you said your goodbyes, you fell back in your chair, dropping your iPhone on the table.
You: The flattery will….
...get you nowhere.
You never finished that message, leaving Russo on Read.
Starting with that evening, things were moving fast - too fast for you to keep track.
After a three-hour long coffee and the tour of the A-Tower, Virginia Potts, the acting CEO of the Stark Industries, had offered you the job - just like that - and asked you to come back to her executive assistant should you wish to take the job, with your salary expectations and the information about your notice period. You thanked her for her time and promised to get back to her as soon as you made your decision.
Virginia Potts was a brilliant woman; but running a company like Stark Industries while being equipped with a vagina was certainly no walk in the park. Sexism was still very much present within the Boards of the Tech Businesses. You understood perfectly well why she wanted a woman in her corner - it would have been a massive slap in the Board’s face, but it was also about having someone to lean on, who just understood.
In any other circumstances you would have peed your pants in excitement. It was an opportunity to work for Stark Industries - no, scratch that - it was an opportunity to step in as a Stark Industries co-CEO. The idea of it still made you dizzy.
…but as you looked at Virginia’s email sent to your personal address thanking you for stopping by, your eyes were swimming with tears.
You weren’t ready to leave Billy. 
You just couldn’t. 
You couldn’t leave him. 

There was no epic finale to your story. There was no big revelation, no closure, no moment of relief, no acceptance, nothing. Only a fat-ass what if.
And you didn’t know how to let go of a what if with Billy Russo.
And that was exactly why you had to do it.
You heard Billy come in the next Monday earlier than usual. He was positively humming Usher’s Yeah! quietly as he made his way past your office’s doors straight into his own.
You took a deep breath, closing your eyes. You’ve been psyching yourself up during the entire weekend, telling yourself it wasn’t a big deal, we wouldn’t even flinch when you were going to tell him.
You had to tell him.
As you stood up from your chair, straightening you skirt with the palms of your hands, you suddenly heard the footsteps coming back in your direction. You froze in place like a deer in headlights when Billy swung open the door to your office, a box of Pierre Hermé macarons in his hands.
Your goddamn favorite Pierre Hermé macarons.
“You’re here!” Billy’s warm smile illuminated the room. “So much for a surprise, huh?”
He shook the box carefully in the air. You stared at it, dumbfounded, every single thought leaving you.
You couldn’t breathe.
In the hazy morning light seeping through the windows of your office, Billy looked beautiful and dissolute, shirt open at the collar, longer strands of dark hair falling into his eyes.
He was going to be the death of you. It really wasn’t fair.
“Billy, I have to tell you something.”
Was it you who spoke those words? They seemed distant and cold, so uncharacteristically detached.
Blood roared in your ears.
“What’s wrong?”
Billy’s reaction was instant. In three decisive steps he closed the distance that separated you, leaving the macarons on your desk. He stood still just mere inches away, and just like during your very first meeting, you had a fleeting thought cross your mind: you really were tiny next to him, the top of your head barely reaching his shoulders.
You bit the inside of your bottom lip, trying to keep your composure. He stared at you unblinking. He wasn’t touching you, but it felt like his eyes were looking straight into your soul, undressing you, blowing that wall you built around yourself into dust. They were taking you down, piece by piece, determined to see what you’d been keeping from him. 

Because, of course, he knew. He should have known something was going on. Hence the surprise this morning.
He had no idea what it was though.
“Maybe you should sit,” you said, making a physical effort to tear your eyes away from him, feigning sudden interest in the buttons of his shirt.


That chest…


…was going to be just fine. He didn’t feel the same way you did. He would just find someone else to fill your position. With brilliant women stalking him - in cooperative packs - that would not be a problem.
“You’re leaving, aren’t you”.
You squeezed your eyes shut as soon as his words reached your ears.

Fucking hell, you should have done that by phone. Or with other people around. You should have…
“You’re leaving”, you heard Billy repeat as his voice broke a little. He stepped away, burying his face in his hands as he dragged them down his jaw and neck, staring into the ceiling.
“Billy, listen, I…”
You were the one to close the space between the two of you this time, and before you could think too much into it… You threw your hands around his shoulders, burying your face in his neck.
The sensation struck you like a bolt of lightening when you felt his hands cross behind you back and pull you closer.
He smelled heavenly. Like a forest fire, a hint of smoke with oud and pine. You inhaled deep, deeper still, losing yourself in his comforting touch.
In his arms, just for a second there, you felt home.
“You… The company doesn’t need me anymore”, you nearly choked on words, screaming internally at yourself to keep the waterworks at bay. “It’s thriving, there’s not much else I can give you. My job here is done.”
I need to leave because your indifference is destroying me, and when I think I’m ready to let go, all it takes is one look from you, and I’m back to wanting you, to settling for anything you give me, like a goddamn fool.
“What the hell are you talking about, Y/N?!” Billy exclaimed, his hands grasping your shoulders as he distanced your bodies just enough for him to look into your eyes. “I nee- The company needs you! I was… You know, I was planning to make you the CEO of Anvil in a couple months time,” his smile, as earnest as it was, did not reach his eyes. “Yeah”, noticing your eyes go wide in shock,  he let his hands slide down your sides. “You’re so much better at it than I ever was. I was going to join Frank and just manage operations… under you”.
You just stared at him, dumbfounded, not feeling a stray tear escape your eye and rolling down your cheekbone.
“These are the tears of happiness, I hope”, Billy added, and you barely registered his touch as his thumb wiped the salty drop off. “Well, I guess Anvil will have to settle for the little old me. With my best girl going places."
You gave him a strained smile before you carefully wiped your cheeks, just taking a moment to look at him. To try and read him.
Billy Russo was a goddamn ceiling. Plain white, cool and unattainable. In all of your time working for him, you have never seen this Hallmark version of him before. Which one was it? 

Oh wait, you guessed you knew. The happy-for-you friend.
“So where are you going?” Billy asked, his eyes empty. “Who snatched you away from m- Anvil?”
The stutter was so subtle you barely noticed. You were finally tired of reading into shit.
“Stark Industries. I’ll be their co-CEO”.
Before you left Anvil you promised yourself you’d get the deal with Stark Industries up and running. There was no one in the world you trusted more in terms of security than Billy.
(The fact that you couldn’t keep your heart safe from him didn’t really count, did it?)
As a matter of fact, Billy and you were going to shake hands with Anthony Stark on the deal on your last night of being Anvil’s CSO. It was happening in The Metropolitan Opera and required both Billy and yourself to dress for the occasion. 

He promised to come pick you up at 6pm sharp; you were putting on the Jimmy Choo’s you’d bought a coulee months ago in Saks Fifth Avenue when you heard a low knock on your door.
Straightening up, you threw a quick glance at your reflection in the mirror. You decided to go with a long Marchesa black velvet gown with a rather deep V-line, a pair of long diamond earrings and an elegant half-up half-down hairdo, soft curls in the front framing your face.
“I’m coming”, you yelled out, picking up your leather jacket (because why the hell not) and your purse from the kitchen counter. Sharply opening the entrance door, you realized moments later that you didn’t even take time to prepare yourself for seeing William Russo in a tux.
If you weren’t already half in love with him, the sight before your eyes would have sealed the deal.
God-fucking-damn, like he needed any help being unforgettable.
With a black jacket thrown on a crisp white shirt with a couple of buttons undone and the tie hanging loosely around his neck, Billy was here to make a statement, to leave a mark. His hair was coiffed back in his usual style; honest to God, he looked like he just stepped out of the Man of the Year special GQ edition…
Just when your thoughts were about to switch to the way you must have looked next to him, ridiculous in your simplicity, like you refused to make an effort…
…Your eyes met his.
And the way he looked at you was so intense, his big black eyes with galaxies in them probing into yours, his strong jaw slack. There was beauty and tragedy reflecting in those orbs, but only just for a second - just for a second, he looked at you the way he probably looked at the sky he could never reach. Just for a second, he looked at you the way that made your heart beat twice as fast, like the world could crumble all around him and he still would not have blinked.
Would not have taken his eyes off you.
“Wow, Y/N, you look… You look beautiful”, he finally said. “I just can't spot a part of you that beats the other.”
Something in your chest exploded silently.
“Thank you, Billy,” you smiled at him - a genuine and happy smile, because you felt on top of the world with his adoring eyes on you. “You’re quite a catch yourself”.
Before you could scold yourself for your choice of words, you stepped out of your apartment and locked the door behind you.
“Shall we?” Billy offered his hand to you, without hesitation it seemed.
“We shall”, you replied instantly, slowly sliding your hand into the crook of his elbow.
And, just like always, you were going to enjoy it while it lasted.
The crowd in the opera was so posh, the looks all the women had been throwing you first made you question your choice of outfit. It’s after overhearing their conversations that you realized, the reason they stared daggers at you was the man that kept by your side no matter where you went.
Virginia and Anthony welcomed you at the buffet with sun-stained sincere smiles. After a short small talk, Anthony Stark informed you both that he had signed the contract earlier today, thus officially giving Anvil an exclusive security deal with Stark Industries. As of now, Anvil was the only company allowed on the Stark Industries’ premises in the quality of guards and protection officers.
The look Billy and you exchanged spoke volumes; while your eyes were sparkling with excitement though, screaming “we did it!!”, his bottomless black eyes were whispering “thanks to you”.
The four of you then shook hands and went through rounds of gratitude and appreciation; when a pleasant woman’s voice announced the imminent start of Onegin, inviting the guests to go to their seats. Virginia immediately took you hand, leading you straight into the Opera house, saying something about leaving men to finish their drinks. You threw Billy a laughing look over your shoulder, mouthing “come join me” before disappearing out of his sight.
“So on the scale of one to ten, how pissed at me are you, Mr. Russo?”
Billy turned his head sharply to a side, leaning on the high table, and spotted Anthony Stark himself, nursing a glass of whiskey. “For taking your queen away from you? Excuse the chess metaphor, but that woman”, Stark took a sip of his whiskey and savoured it before swallowing it down. “Is a goddamn queen.”
Billy chuckled, straightening up, digging his hands into the pockets of his trousers.
“That, she is,” he whispered, his eyes still piercing the spot in the crowd where your smiling face was mere minutes ago.
When the opera ended, both Billy and you couldn’t be more relieved - because both of you hated it with passion.
Exchanging meaningful glances in the dark during the singers’ performances now and then, you had to bite your tongue in order to not just ask Billy if you could maybe sneak out. Russo proved to be more stoic than you, carefully covering your hand with his in what was meant to be a comforting gesture.
You didn’t look at him once after that, afraid to say or do something that would make him remove his hand.
How much more pathetic could you get?  
When the performance was over, Billy led you out of the opera house without saying a word, his hand hugging carefully the small of your back.
His silence was unnerving. You didn’t know what to make of it. Should you have shaken his hand off back in the darkness of the concert hall? Or should you have caressed it with your thumb?
Your mind was spinning in circles by the time he opened the door for you and you slid into the front passenger seat of his Rolls goddamn Royce.
When he got in the car and gripped his steering wheel, you reached out and placed your hand on his whitening knuckles.
“Billy,” you spoke softly, barely audibly. “Is everything alright?”
“Yes,” he whispered back, turning his head to a side to face you. His black eyes stared into yours, looking hypnotised and helpless. “Everything is fine.”
It didn’t take a degree in Psychology to see that he was lying. You could feel his gaze on you as you turned away from him, taking your hand away at the same time.
Billy started the car. The revving engine filled the silence, loaded with the unsaid words.
“…he then walked me to my door, we exchanged our goodbyes. And that was it,” you finished lightly, looking back at Karen.
Her eyes were red as she stared at you, unblinking.
“Unbelievable…” she whispered. “So you never told him?…” her lips barely moved.
You sighed.
“Have you ever felt like you’re potentially in love with someone? Like, you don’t actually love him, you know you don’t, but one day you realise that you could? You realise just how easy it would be for you to fall in love with him? With all the teasing and the banter, the play hitting each other, calling each other names, just…. You start to pick up on little things - like if you listen closely, in every shut up, there’s a barely-there ring of I could love you.”

You shifted on the floor a little, and Karen watched your memories transport you somewhere else again. While physically your were here, in your apartment - with your fluttering eye-lashes, uneven breathing and loaded expression - mentally, you were somewhere else.
“….You probably don’t notice it at first, but your body is drawn to him. Every accidental or absentminded touch…” you continued quietly. “And there’s that twinkle in his eyes when he looks at you and it messes you up, because - what’s going on with you? What the hell does it even mean? Are you imagining shit? You’re trying to make sense.”


Karen didn’t interrupt, still staring at you as if she were seeing you for the first time
“I mean, he didn’t ask for any of it, you know?” you finally raised your foggy stare at Karen, as if searching for confirmation. “Maybe he just did something dumb one day, smiled at you or said something that seemed important and then all of the sudden you’re full on Looney Tunes, seeing stuff that isn’t there?”
Your words barely audible, you swallowed hard, before continuing.

“…I just kept looking at him with what ifs, and could haves, seeing all that goddamn potential. It’s so fucking twisted. Over-analyzing everything? Waiting for a sign?…” you chuckled bitterly all of the sudden. “…I was so fucking scared of reading too much into it, of crossing that line, because… It would be so easy!… Falling in love with him would have been so easy.”
Oh sweetheart, Karen’s eyes glowed with comfort as she reached out for your hand and squeezed it softly. But you already are in love with him. 


A loaded silence ripped through the air in your living room. The sound of an engine revving somewhere close squeezed its way through the slit of an opened window, and it seemed to break the trance.
Both Karen and you shuddered, and as you took in the realisation Karen’s eyes just bestowed upon you, you pinched the bridge of your nose.
“It’s pretty late,” Karen spoke up, reading you like an open book. She knew it was her cue to leave the stage. You needed time to process. “Frank is in a bar nearby with Curtis, let me just give him a call, okay, sweetheart?” she gave your hand one last reassuring squeeze. “You know where to find me when you need me”.
“Yes”, you responded, blinking tiredly. “Thank you so much for coming, Karen. I didn’t mean to unload on you like that…”
“Shut the hell up,” the blonde advised, raising her eyebrows. “But honestly, Y/N, please call me once you… come to terms with things, okay?”
You nodded.
When Karen left, leaving the sweet and pleasant smell of her perfume behind, you closed the door behind her and turned around, leaning on the cold wood and metal with your eyes closed.  
It’s been a month. This was supposed to pass by now. Billy was supposed to stop inviting himself into your dreams. You were supposed to heal.
You may have just realized you were in love with the man instead.
Letting out half a moan, half a groan, you peeled yourself from the door slowly, and brushed your hair back, wanting nothing more than to fall face-first into bed.
After you at least cleaned up a bit and put out the Dyptique candles, that is.
As your eyes scanned your living room in an attempt to asses the size of the job at hand, you stopped mid-way, zeroing in on the box Jax gave you earlier in the evening. It rested silently on the kitchen table.
Tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, you made your way to the kitchen area. Grabbing the package, you turned it around, looking for any indication of the sender.
The package wasn’t even stamped.
Curiosity getting the best of you, you took a moment to grab a knife from one of the drawers, and carefully swished it between the two cardboard sheets.
Flipping over the envelop, you heard something fall out of it before you could actually see it. A small sheet of paper floated in the air before falling on the surface, partially covering whatever fell out of the package.
Your heart squeezed the second your brain identified the object, attached to a worn silver chain.
With trembling fingers, you slid two metal pieces from under the paper, covering your mouth.
Finding their home in the palm of your hand, Billy’s dog tags shimmered in the dim candlelight.
Squeezing them in between your fingers, you grabbed the paper with your free hand, your eyes staring at one single sentence scribbled on its surface.
“You took my heart with you”.
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ooffies · 3 years
Text
ʀᴏᴀᴅᴛʀɪᴘ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴɴᴏɴꜱ
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Characters: Venti, Zhongli and Diluc
Warnings: Just some kissing, nothing too extreme
A/N: okay so this isn't a request but the idea wormed it's way into my head and I couldn't get it out. I'm definitely doing other characters so this will probably be a 2 or 3 part series! Anyways, I hope you like it! :)
Tagging @genshin-obsessed (hi pocket! -🍷❤)
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Venti:
Probably knows the lyrics to all the songs on the radio/playlist
Definitely made at least two or more playlist for the trip
Makes you drive because it’s too much effort and drains so much of his energy He’s just lazy
Makes you stop at Starbucks every morning, if it’s a multiple day drive it’s at least 3 times
He has three moods during road trips
One: Overly excited 
Talks on and on about the stuff you two will do and how much fun you two will
Two: Complaining way too much
His back hurts
His legs are stiff
The seat is uncomfortable 
“Are we there yet?” x100000
Will literally ask it every 2 seconds
He’s all pouty and grumpy
Three: Deep sleep
Finally you have a few hours peace and quiet
Probably caused from a caffeine crash
Sleeps like he’s dead, you literally cannot wake him up and you don’t want too jkjkjk
He’s usually quiet when he wakes up or is about to fall asleep. But when he is half asleep he always wants to hold your hand. Will probably tell you how much he loves you and how lucky he is to go on this trip with you while struggling not to fall asleep. Then conks out 5 minutes later.
Empty landscape surrounded you for miles, it looked like it went on forever. Music hummed in the background as the car kept a steady pace. “Are we there yet?” Venti asked in an annoyed tone. For the past eight minutes he had been moving around in his seat trying to find a comfortable position.  He was now sitting crossed legged, a large frown on his face as he twirled his hair. “Not yet love, we have 3 more hours till we reach the hotel,” you replied. “UGHHHHHHHHH! And then we have 7 more hours to drive tomorrow and how many days till we actually get there!?!” “2 babe,” “UGHHHHHH THAT’S SO LONG!” he whined. He sunk into his chair, his frown growing. You chuckled at his antics, “Weren’t you talking about how great this trip was gonna be like an hour ago?” you said with a smile. “Hush it” you couldn’t help but laugh at his response. The sun began to set as the car continued on down the highway. You felt a hand lightly rest itself on yours. You looked over at Venti. His half lidded eyes focused on the road. You smiled and brought his hand to your lips, pressing a gentle kiss to the back of it, “Feeling sleepy? Are you finally crashing from all that caffeine?” “Mhm” he hummed sleepily. There was a brief peaceful moment of silence between the two of you. “Thanks for taking me on this trip babe…… I love you….” you laughed lightly at his sleep tone, “Love you too.” You looked over to see him conked out and already lightly snoring. Another quiet laugh escaped you, “Sleep well sleeping beauty.”
Zhongli:
Doesn’t mind driving, he’ll drive for the whole trip if you’d like
But also doesn’t mind switching driving shifts with you
He’s actually a decent driver which came as a bit of a surprise (he got a little offended when you told him that)
He can and will talk the whole trip
Has a abundance of topics and stories he will talk about
He will go into deep detail, even if it’s just about his morning cup of tea he will go into detail about it.
If you two take turns driving he’ll definitely nap while you drive
Peepaw needs his naps :((((
He 100% doesn’t get car sick
He can read a whole book during a drive without looking at the road even once
Probably talks you while you’re sleeping when he’s the driver
He won’t even notice you’re asleep for a good while, he’ll just keep talking and talking
One time he didn’t even notice you were asleep and when you woke up he was still going on about that same subject.
He won’t eat fast food. He will make you two eat at restaurant or diner
Also he always books fancy hotels too. Not Marriot or Motel 6 for him. Nope. Not in a million years.
He loves exploring the towns and cities you guys stop in. Checking out the shops and local attractions, he’s all for that.
Probably plans for your two to stay a few extra days in the big cities
You stepped out into the cool night taking a deep breath of air. You and Zhongli had just finished eating dinner at some fancy restaurant he had picked out. (You had pay of course). “Thank you for dinner beloved.” you looked over him, “Yeah it’s no problem but maybe next time you shouldn’t forget your wallet so you can actually pay for once.” you said with a cheeky grin. “Urk” he clutched his chest and said with a chuckle, “Why must you wound me with your harsh words darling?” “ I’m just messing with ya peepaw!” you said as you lightly punched his shoulder. “Hey I’m not that old,” as he offered you his arm. You wrapped your arm around his as you two began walking back to the hotel. “You seriously act like an old man though,” “It’s because I have an old soul,” “Yeah you sure do…….” he let out a laugh and kissed your forehead, “It’s never a boring conversation with you my love.” “Can’t say the same about you peepaw” he burst out laughing at that comment, he even snorted once or twice much to your amusement. You couldn’t help but laugh with him. After the laughter you looked at him and said, “Sorry if I was a bit harsh but I couldn’t help myself!” you said, still giggling a bit. He returned your gaze with a warm smile and wrapped his arms around your waist. He pulled you in and pressed his lips to yours. The kiss was sweet and you couldn’t help but smile when his lips left yours. Still hand in hand you two had resumed walking back to the hotel, “So…. are you ready to hit the road again tomorrow morning?” “Yes my darling, I’m actually quite excited to spend more time with you. This trip has been fantastic so far, part of me wishes it will never end…..”
Diluc:
Will drive the whole time
He refuses to let you drive
Why may you ask?
Because he gets car sick very easily. He’ll never admit it though.
Tease him about it and he’ll get all flustered.
Probably has road rage
Not much of a big talker so it’s either idle chit chat between you two, him listening to you or just a comfortable silence while listening to music.
I feel like he has jazz CDs, he just gives off the vibe
Like you guys will drive through a dead zone and the you know you have some sweet jazz music serenading your ears
Doesn’t mind listening to your music either, he’s not very picky.
He always turns down the volume of the music when you’re sleeping because he doesn’t want you to wake you up
Doesn’t mind fast food at all which is a bit surprising.
When he needs a quick nap he’ll pull into a rest stop
Even if you offer to drive while he’s asleep he still won’t let you
Definitely planned out everything beforehand. Already booked the hotel rooms and all that.
He asked you what you wanted to do and practically based the whole plan off that because he wants you to see you smile.
The rest stop parking lot was practically empty. You looked up at the blue sky through the sunroof. Absolutely no clouds were in the sky, it was just like a never ending bright blue blanket. You looked over at Dliuc who was quietly sleeping. You watched his chest rise and fall. He looked so peaceful, so at ease. You twirled the ends of his bright red hair between your fingers. He had asked you to wake him up in twenty minutes. You checked the time. Five more minutes. You let out a soft sigh, turning your gaze back to the sky. You continued to play with his hair as you stared into never ending blue. After what felt like an eternity later, you finally checked the time again. Looks like you gave him an extra minute. “Hmmmm...How should I wake him up?” you thought to yourself. Well you could be nice to him and gently shake him awake, but that was boring. You could tickle him but you weren’t sure if he was tickle-ish or not…… After a little more pondering you finally got the perfect idea. You quickly sat up and leaned over him and gently cupped his face in your hands. You brought your lips to his and gave him a deep kiss. His eyes quickly snapped open as he jolted awake. You broke the kiss to say “Good morning sleeping beauty. How was your nap?” he just stared back at you, a bright red blush covering his face. “I-it was fine,” was all he managed to muster out. You giggled and leaned back in your seat, “Well that's nice-'' But before you could finish Diluc’s lips were on yours, continuing the kiss. This time he was the one cupping your face as he pulled you closer. His kisses were tender and soft, his hands were warm against your face. Once the kiss finally broke, Diluc cleared his throat, “Are you ready to get back on the road.” He was still clearly blushing, even the tips of his ears were burning red. You couldn’t help but giggle at him, “Yep! Let’s get this show back on the road!”
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diamond-coral · 3 years
Text
The Heist (part 3/finale)
Steve x Reader
Chapter summary: Captain’s plan worked. Now you’re in for a lot of trouble after trying to break into his apartment. He’ll have you. Just like he wanted.
Warnings: 18+, explicit sex, dark, rape/non-con, forced orgasm, praise and degradation kink, kidnapping, mentions of strip club, mentioned anal, swearing, mild violence, slight Stockholm
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“You wanna be treated like a whore?” he seethed. “Fine. I’ll treat you like a whore.”
Steve wrenched you from the wall and let you fly back toward his bed, your feet tripping over themselves as well as the chain attached to the cuff secured around your ankle before you finally tumbled onto the mattress. Your breathing was heavy as you glared back at his cerulean eyes which were narrowed, daring you to try anything.
And you did. Because fuck if you weren’t going down without a fight.
You darted out to the right, arm reaching out to take grip of the lamp on his nightstand. You grabbed hold of it and pivoted your body around as your arm flung out toward his head. Steve simply intercepted the hit with a firm grasp, and you gritted your teeth as the two of you began an aggressive tug of war for the lamp.
“Stop. This. Now,” Steve scolded as if you were a child before giving a sharp tug, the lamp slipping out of your hand.
“No thanks.” You grinned, catching him off guard, before you grabbed both his shoulders as support and kneed him in the groin. Hard.
Steve let out a pained groan. He dropped the lamp, and you caught it by the handle before using all your strength to swing the base against his head like a baseball bat. He stumbled backwards while his hand reached up near his temple. He pulled it back and inspected the blood. You remained frozen, having hoped that the blow would have at least knocked him out. His broad figure compromised your escape route to the door of his bedroom, so running was not an option.
“We need to fix this fuckin’ attitude of yours,” he grumbled, and while you were lost in your predicament of all escape routes being impossible, he snatched the lamp, this time breaking it in half like a toothpick before tossing both ends over his shoulder to the opposite side of the room. “I wanted a kind and docile housewife. Not some ungrateful bitch.” 
He practically pounced on you, and you fought, pushing against his brick wall of body, before relenting with the knowledge he was far too strong for you.
“Well you’ve got the wrong person, buddy-pal,” you quipped, but your voice trembled in your compromised position..
“No. I don’t. Because I’ve already seen her, you, at the club. And I don’t know why the hell you gotta give me some attitude when I’m trying to save you from the shitshow of a life you’re livin’. Maybe you’re just scared. Scared of letting someone take care of you when you’ve been fighting for yourself for so long, so you put on the unappreciative bitchy exterior.” 
Was this man serious? How delusional did he have to be to think all of that after one encounter?
“Well guess what,” he whispered, face so close to you that his breath fanned over you. “I’ll fucking rip it apart. I’ll break you down. Shatter this pathetic wall you have up until I get back the girl at the club. Might take a couple good fuckings, but I’ll finally get it out of you.” His thumb stroked your cheek, brushing away the tears that had shed at his admissions. “Aww, baby, don’t cry,” he cooed. “This is for the best.”
You let out a small whimper, another round of tears flowing, at the sound of his belt unbuckling and fly coming undone. 
You began pounding against his chest and begged him not to.
You wouldn’t go down without a fight.
Easily holding you down, Steve let out a stuttered moan as he entered you slowly. You begging turned into sounds of agony as he stretched you out and filled you like no other had before. 
“I wanted our first time time to be special. Slow and loving,” he confessed as he stilled inside of you. He slowly pulled out before slamming his hips back in and muffling your shriek with a large hand. “Gotta say, this is still pretty special though. Might just love those big watery doe eyes lookin’ at me a little more than that cute smile of yours. You just look so pretty, all wrecked and crying for me, doll.” He moved his hand slightly aside to lick a strip of your tear stained cheek, letting out a hum of approval.
You thrashed under him, hands lashing out until one of his own came to wrangle both wrists above your head, so you resorted to bucking your hips in hopes of throwing him off. It was hopeless. 
But you wouldn’t go down without a fight.
The hand covering your mouth moved down to hold you hip down in a bruising grip. He just rutted into you harder and faster in response to your outburst.
You couldn’t bring yourself to make a noise. The searing of your walls was slowly melting into pleasure. You feared accidentally letting a moan slip and alerting Steve to your pleasure.
But Steve could tell how you enjoyed it. Although tears flowed freely from your eyes, your pussy squelched, the sound blending in with the clapping of skin each time he drove into you.
“Told you. I’d fuck you. Like a whore,” He managed to get out between thrusts. “And you fuckin’ love it too.” He let out a dark chuckle. “God you’re such a slut.”
You whined as he pulled out when he flipped you over, but he made up for it by beginning to drill into you harder than before. With every brutal thrust, his cock glided against your g-spot before the tip punched against your cervix, and your eyes rolled back into your head.
Steve roped your hair around his palm and yanked your head back. Your back arched painfully to accommodate.
“Tell me you’re a slut. Tell me your my slut. Only mine. Only for me. Not that stupid fuckin’ club. Mine.”
“N-no. No,” you stuttered, barely being able to form words. You wouldn’t let him have his victory. You wouldn’t give it to him and bend to him.
Because you wouldn’t go down without a fight.
He once again yanked your hair, this time using the momentum to bring your body flush against him. His other arm came to wrap around your waist, and he secured your back to him, never once letting up on fucking you. The new angle made your body light on fire, and a moan escaped past your lips.
“Say it. Say you’re my slut and I’ll let you cum.”
You wouldn’t. You still had some dignity left. You’d be strong. You’d-
“Oh fuck, I’m your slut. Please let me cum. Please, please, I need it so bad. I’m your fucking slut! Only yours Steve!” you cry out. Humility and pleasure both burned your body.
“Atta girl,” he grunted, quickening his pace. “Cum now. Cum all over my cock.”
You did just that. Your cunt clenched around his cock while you gushed around him. Pleasure constricted around your entire body like fire. 
“Good little whore. All mine,” Steve chanted, but you barely heard him. All you could think about was Steve and his cock. You shattered. Your mind, your body, your will, all shattered to a million pieces.
________________________________________________________________
You sigh, smoothing down the flowy pink skirt that stopped right about your knees. That was all six months ago but it felt like years. Steve made good on his word. Here you were, the good little docile housewife, waiting for him to return home from a mission that had taken him three days, a home cooked meal sitting on the table. Waiting to be devoured by the ravenous man who would return. Just like you.
You didn’t even attempt to escape this time. The first time you had managed to shatter the living room window with a lamp (ironic, huh?) while Steve was in the bathroom. You had made it down the fire escape before he intercepted you in the alley and dragged you quietly back to the apartment with a gun concealed between your bodies. When you got inside, Steve brutally took your virgin asshole. The second time, you tried the same thing, but Steve caught you before you even stepped foot out the window. After replacing the glass with a new bulletproof material from S.H.I.E.L.D., he starved you for five days, only allowing you water. He still made you cook for him though. It was a cruel joke to him, watching you make him a meal while your stomach was about to eat itself. He’d fuck you hard after, and your body felt like it’d break in half.
The third time was three months after that. You’d managed to gain his trust enough to let him take you for a walk in the park, and after a knee to the groin, you took off and hid yourself in a crowd of people. It wouldn’t be a good image for Captain America to be hunting down an innocent girl on the streets of New York. You managed to be away from him for almost 24 hours, but you couldn’t go to the police. After telling them you were a stripper that broke into Captain America’s apartment, you highly doubt they’d believe the rest of your story.
You were in the grocery store with some stolen cash when Bucky Barnes finally caught you. He muttered a couple words about how pretty Bella was and how he’d hate to put a bullet through her pretty head, and you followed him like a dog back to Steve’s building. Steve, as a thank you to Bucky and a punishment for you, let Bucky fuck you for hours till you passed out with his metal hand around your neck.
You smile to yourself, hoping Steve would be happy that you remained compliant and would be there to greet him as he returned home.
The sound of a lock turning snaps you out of your thought, and your head turns to the door as Steve enters.
“Sweetheart!” you say as you throw yourself on him, hands intertwined behind his neck.
“Hi honey,” he greets, smiling down at you, taking in the sight before he leans down to give you a peck on your painted red lips. You almost frown at your eagerness to return it. Almost. But your interest is directed toward Steve as he reaches into a paper shopping bag. “Got you a little something. Know how much you love to paint.” 
He pulls out a set of brushes, showing them to you, before handing you the entire bag. You look inside and gasp. So many colors and canvases. This was your life before he had trapped you, and here he was, giving you a piece of it back.
“Steve, I don’t even know how to thank you,” you begin. “I-”
Steve cuts you off with a deep kiss.
“Anything for my girl. Besides I figured you could use some practice.”
“For what?” you ask.
“Well, I bought us a house!” he announces, grinning. “That implant of yours will be wearing off in a couple months, and I’d love for you to paint a mural in the nursery. For our baby.”
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mypoisonedvine · 3 years
Text
Seeing Red | bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x reader (part 7)
(part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) (part 5) (part 6)
series summary: bucky used to brag that he didn’t have a celebrity crush, or really care about famous people at all, which is what made him the perfect person to start working for a celebrity like yourself.  except, of course, it’s just his luck that he’d fall for you.  
word count: 2.5k
warnings: um just implied smut and fluff and a reference to bdsm I guess?? but it's pretty chill overall
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Liked by starkcosmetics and others
y/n.y/l/n okay first of all, it takes an act of god to get a picture of this guy smiling, but it’s always worth it.  he really changed everything for me and I can’t thank him enough for that.  so happy ❤️ 
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caroldanvers 😍😍😍
flowercrowny/n oh my god this is so sweet i’m gonna cry
1 HOUR AGO
He smiled as he stared down at the post you’d made, remembering how much effort you’d put into finding the perfect picture (in your opinion; he thought he looked kinda dopey in it) as well as writing and re-writing your caption.
The speed at which your post gained likes and comments was inconceivable to him; even more impressive was the speed at which gossip rags were picking up the story.  Sure enough, his phone’s alerts to new headlines about you were not only going off like crazy, but had started to include news about himself as well.  
Y/N Y/L/N Shocks With Romantic Instagram Post, Confirms Dating Rumors
You’ll Never Guess Which Hollywood Starlet Is Dating Her Driver
Who is James Barnes?  Everything We Know About Y/N Y/L/N’s New Beau
Skimming one of the articles, he was impressed at how much information they’d managed to get without actually getting anything from you or him.  Born in Brooklyn, disabled Army veteran, worked a list of odd jobs before becoming your driver and bodyguard.  ‘No social media presence, prefers to keep a low profile’ one of them said; you can say that again, Bucky chuckled to himself when he read it.
He found another from People and didn’t particularly appreciate that it spent half the time going through all your past exes and rumored partners (turned out ‘rumored’ is a fancy word for ‘a bunch of fans deluded themselves so hard that it somehow turned into news without any proof necessary’).  But he still smiled when he got to the part that was actually about you and him.
‘The relationship is pretty new but they’re so happy together,’  a source close to the couple reported.  
Close indeed; that statement came from your publicist, who he’d never even meet.  
‘He’s a very private guy and she’s got this huge following, so they’re sort of an odd couple in that way, but she knows her fans are respectful and will let them have their own life outside of the spotlight.’ 
Bucky wasn’t sure that the respectfulness of fans was such a given here, but he hoped you were right.  To be fair, they’d been very sweet on your original post insofar. 
However, when he scrolled to the bottom of the celebrity magazine articles and realized they had their own comments section, he discovered that they were a little less forgiving than the ones on your Instagram.  
Is this the best she thinks she can do?  So sad tbh :(
a military guy…. yikes, she could get any guy she wants and she goes for a murderer. 
He looks like a hobo that found a coupon for a free haircut lol
I don’t buy it, I know she’ll always love Pietro!
Pietro being your former co-star that so many of your fans were convinced was actually your soulmate.  From what he’d heard from you, those speculations had made things so uncomfortable between the two of you that it killed your friendship.  Those were nothing, though, compared to the comments about someone you actually had dated.
she’s obviously not over sam… they were so good together
He’d better watch out for her ex, he still likes tweets about her and they have so much chemistry
Wait, she’s not still with Sam Wilson??  I could’ve sworn they’d been dating for, like, five years.
You were scrolling through your phone with a smile as you walked past where he was sitting on the couch, and he just couldn’t help himself from asking even though he knew it wasn’t the best idea.  “Do I need to worry about this Sam thing?” he blurted out, trying to play it cool and not sound too anxious.  “People are really obsessed with you two…”
“Sam and I…” you sighed, staring off into space for a second.  He made himself anxious imagining what you were thinking about in that moment.  “I haven’t talked to him in… years?  I think it’s just because our relationship was so public that people are still talking about it.  And it had a lot of gossip material— we did a movie together, people thought it was sweet that we got together during production, it was great promotion for the picture… and from the outside, we made a lot of sense for each other.  But he has his own problems.  I loved him, but… he wasn’t ever going to be a one-girl kinda guy.”
“But you’re not just any one girl.  You’re… you know, you,” he emphasized.
“You’ve been reading too many headlines,” you shook your head as you sat down beside him.  “Please don’t turn into one of those guys who thinks of me as a celebrity first.  Before that—” you pointed to your own name where it was bolded on his screen in the trending topics page of Twitter— “was popping up on movie posters and in gossip magazines, it was just my name.  And I’m not perfect.  Not even close.”
Bucky sighed and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into him and holding you tightly.  “And before I knew you were famous, or rich, or incredibly talented, I was totally obsessed with you just for who you are.”
“You’re too fucking amazing,” you sighed as you held his face and gave him a gentle kiss— the kind of kiss that instantly melted his heart and banished his worries.  When you pulled back and looked up at him with a smile, it was like everything else just… faded away.  “Don’t read the comments, okay?  None of them matter.”
He smiled and brushed his thumb over your cheek, overwhelmed by not only the softness of your skin but of your spirit as well.  In all his life he’d never been handled so… gently, with so much care.  “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me,” he mumbled, not even really realizing he’d said it aloud until you gave him a beaming smile.
“I can’t believe you’re my boyfriend,” you giggled pridefully.
“Seriously?  I can… very easily believe it,” he scoffed.
“I just mean… you’re so…” you searched for the words.  “You’re actually good to me, that’s the thing.  I’m not used to that.”
“You deserve the world,” he assured.  “I’m just gonna keep trying to give you as much of it as I can find.”
He watched his hand trail over your face, down your neck and to your chest where he played with the hem of your t-shirt.
"It's odd to know there are millions of people who are jealous of me,” he admitted quietly, remembering some aggressive comments from some very angry dudes who had apparently also watched your nude scene a few too many times.
"Do you like it?  Do you like how it feels to know you're making them angry every time you touch me?"
"Couldn't care less," he refuted.  "Nobody else matters when I'm touchin' you."
“Do you maybe wanna… touch me a little more about it?” you smirked, opening your legs slightly in invitation.
“Always.”
//
Bucky had, thankfully, not let the newfound fame get to his head.  In fact, he had demanded that the two of you hunker down in the house, since he feared that going out would lead to being recognized.  What he apparently hadn’t anticipated was that that might not be enough.
“Will you get that?” you requested when the gate buzzed, too wrapped up in the book you were reading to answer the intercom.
He hopped up and held down the button to communicate with the gate speaker.  “Who is it?” he asked.
“I’ve got a delivery from Anjappar Chettinad on 23rd?”
Bucky didn’t even reply before hitting the green button and granting access to the driveway.  BEEP BEEP BEEP! you heard the gate signal its opening, and the car pulling around up to the door.  Bucky didn’t open it until there was a knock, greeting the delivery guy with a smile and the necessary cash.
“I’ve got a lamb korma, hyderabadi mutton dum biryani and an order of— woah,” the man suddenly stopped, staring at Bucky’s face.  “Are you—?’
“Hungry?  Yes,” he frowned.
“You’re the guy dating— holy shit, congrats man,” he beamed, smacking Bucky on the shoulder pridefully before leaning in with a mischievous smirk.  “Say, is she a freak or what?”
“She is,” you piped up from the couch, making both men turn their heads; but one was chuckling while the other looked mortified.  “You better not have forgotten my paneer pakora or I’m gonna chain you up and whip you.”
“Uh, I— no, I got it right here,” he promised weakly, handing the bag over to Bucky and starting to dash away before Bucky grabbed his arm, making the smaller man whimper fearfully.
“You forgot the money,” Bucky reminded him gruffly, stuffing the bills into the driver’s front pocket.
Finally, he let go, and the delivery man instantly pulled away, rubbing his arm and looking a bit like a kicked puppy as he went back to his car and drove away.
“You didn’t need to scare him that bad,” Bucky chuckled.
“I could say the same to you!  Grabbing somebody with the metal arm like that will put the fear of God into them pretty fast.”
“I didn’t mean to grab him that hard,” he admitted, examining the prosthetic hand as he came back to the couch with the bag of food, handing it to you while he focused on watching his motorized fingers curl and uncurl.  “I think I need to get this thing recalibrated… it’s been bugging out lately.”
“I dunno, it was working just fine last night,” you smiled, remembering how delightfully cool those fingers felt inside you.
Bucky seemed to miss it entirely, though, as he stared off into space.  “I can’t believe I got… recognized.”
“You’re a star,” you winked.  “And not just with random delivery drivers.  I’ve had a lot of press requests, everybody wants to be the first one to get nice pictures of us together— we’ve had a dozen event invites as a couple.”
“Seriously?!” he scoffed, snapping back to reality slightly enough 
“Yeah, and look what came in same-day mail this morning!”  You leaned over to shuffle through the mail on the side table before finding and handing him a letter in a gold-embossed envelope, watching him read what you knew was inside.
The Hollywood Foreign Press Association extends an invitation to Y/N Y/L/N and James Barnes to the annual Grant Banquet in support of the Young Artists Fund.
“It seems like a good first event for us,” you explained.  “Relatively small and low stakes, it’s for a good cause…”
“Are you sure I’m ready to be, you know… seen?  By people?” 
You scoffed, hardly believing how insecure he could be sometimes.  “You look great, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“Will I have to talk to anybody other than you?” he asked, grimacing as if that were a form of brutal torture.
“Probably,” you admitted.
His frown deepened.  “What if I say the wrong thing?”
“I’m not that worried about you,” you smirked.  “You’re a lot better at this stuff than you think you are.”
“I don’t have anything to wear…”
You smirked, a little too proud of yourself, when you remembered the email your publicist had forwarded to you just this morning.  “Hugo Boss will pay you $1500 to wear one of their suits on the carpet.”
“They’ll pay me to wear free clothes?” he repeated with wide eyes.
“Yeah, that’s one of the cooler things about fame,” you laughed.  “I make a grand every time I wear this watch outside!”
“I guess I should send them my measurements then…” he trailed off.  “Any chance I can get in on that watch deal?”
“No, but you can make $50 by getting papped at Jamba Juice.”
He paused for a moment, scratching the back of his neck as he thought.  “Is the smoothie comped?”
“I don’t know.  Do you want me to ask?”
“...kinda…” he admitted with a shy smile.  
“Well, I will, and I’ll RSVP to this invite saying we’ll be there next week,” you decided as you started to open up the food, but Bucky stopped you by reaching for your hands.
“Are we really doing this?” he asked.
“If you want to,” you mitigated.
“Of course I do.  I guess I have to accept that you’re actually willing to be seen with me,” he chuckled.  “It’s just sort of hard to believe.”
You leaned in and kissed him; it was meant to be a casual, reassuring peck but he held you closer and you melted into him, moaning softly at his touch as you started to climb into his lap.
“The food’s gonna get cold,” he reminded you with a mumble against your lips.
Unfortunately, your literal hunger was a bit too strong to ignore, even with the growing intensity of a metaphorical hunger for Bucky.  “Alright,” you relented, getting off of him and returning your attention to the meal on the table.  “Just know that I really, really want to be seen together, in public, just in case anybody missed the news about us already.  I’m not embarrassed by you or afraid you’re going to do something dumb.  I…”
One of those words that can’t be unsaid started to bubble up in your throat and you coughed, banishing the thought.
“I really like you.  I think we have something special.”
He smiled gently, giving you one more kiss on the cheek.  “I think so, too.”
//
Since this was slightly less of a big deal than a premiere or press tour, you had managed to convince your styling team to let you dress yourself, which was why he was laying on the bed and talking to you through the bathroom door while you put on your gown.
“Do you want me to hire a new driver?” you prompted him, voice muffled slightly as he imagined your head covered in the fabric, trying to navigate through the dress.  “I don’t want you to feel… I don’t know, like a servant?”
“A servant?  You’re still paying me,” he reminded you.  “You are still paying me, right?”
“Yes,” you laughed, “but still, I would hate it if you felt like staff.  You’re my boyfriend!”
(His heart still fluttered every time you said it.)
“No new driver,” he decided.  “I can drive just fine, and considering how things went between us… let’s not open the door for anybody else,” he smirked, making you laugh in that way you did when he made a stupid joke but you still liked it somehow.
“Okay, sure, but what about being my bodyguard?  Is that too weird?” you continued.
“God no,” he scoffed, “if anything I’m gonna be better at my job than ever.  As your boyfriend, keeping you safe is my job, but since keeping you safe was already my job… it’s, like, doubled-up now.”
He lost his train of thought when you opened the door.
“How do I look?” you asked as you stepped in and gave him a spin in your new dress.  Your whole body was draped in red silk, with the exception of your back which was almost entirely exposed, as if it were begging him to run his fingers down your spine.
“Like everything I ever wanted,” he blurted out before he could stop himself.
And it was so odd that you questioned his desire to drive you, because those moments where he could steer with one hand and rest the other on your thigh, when he could catch a glimpse of you looking out the window at the city rolling by, when he got to listen to you ramble about something to kill the time during a drive; those were his favorite moments, and he wouldn’t trade them for anything.
After a relatively brief trip, you arrived at the venue, and all of a sudden he was doing what he’d fantasized about more than he’d like to admit: escorting you down a red carpet.  It was almost overwhelming— yelling, chattering, reporters speaking into camera, flashes going off in every direction—
“Hey,” you whispered, bringing your hand up to his cheek and instantly taking all his attention.
“Hey,” he returned.
“Just follow my lead,” you instructed.
“That was the plan.”
622 notes · View notes
notasiren21 · 3 years
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26 for Lukanette WIPs please. :)
26. Party Crasher!Luka
I FUCKED UP AND JUST WROTE IT I GUESS???
Party Crasher
-Lukanette oneshot
“You mean to tell me Agreste ditched you? After all that pleading to let him take you to the party for your successful launch line for next season, he’s ditched you?”
“Kagami, don’t kill him.”
“Fine, remind me why I can’t though? This is such an ass move of his if he’s trying to prove he’s the one for you.”
“Because,” Marinette grits out, faking a toothy smile to a work couple that waves from passing, “I want to castrate and kill him myself.”
Kagami laughs roughly in surprise, “Why the castration?”
“So I can fit his small ass into the tightest pair of skinny jeans we have for our tall teenage girls.” The not so stoic girl sips on her wine, pleased with her friend’s rage. “I told him I haven’t been interested since we were 14, but him thinking I’ll forgive him if I even had a silver of interest in dating him? Fuck him.”
“Or,” Kagami drawls, long nails tapping the stem of her glass as she leans to peer over her friend’s shoulder, “You could fuck him instead?”
Mari gasps in offense, “I am NOT trying for a one night stand, no matter what you guys say.”
“No, you little mouse,” she admonishes, fully heartedly agreeing with the sentiment, “I just mean your big and handsome protective snake is here to save the day.”
Marinette’s mind took a second longer to click the pieces together, trying to make sense of Kagami’s nicknames for her friend group, before her heart thudded and she slowly turned.
There, passing by the models who had walked in Marinette’s designs and batted their false lashes at the rockstar, was Luka Couffaine.
Dressed to the nines in a very punk like and sophisticated way that revealed he very much wanted to impress her and did in fact listen to her fashion advice. Black skinny jeans only he could pull off, high top converse and a white button up with a black vest to overlay it. The cheeky and handsome bastard forgoing the tie to leave one too many buttons undone and his sleeves rolled up to reveal his tattoos.
Oh, on the life of his cat Sass was she proud of him.
And maybe drooling just a little?
He approached her, a sly smile working its way to his lips as he eyed her up and down, eyes shining bright at her black low cocktail that she paired with navy blue heels.
So maybe she sometimes used Luka as a whole for inspiration.
He raised a hand, finger wrapping around a loose curled tendril out of an elegantly messy low bun, “I thought it was the models you were supposed to make the stars of the show.”
“Had I known you were gonna show up, I would’ve worn one of my bests here.”
His hand froze, “This isn’t your best? You tease,” he broke out in a grin. His hand moved further, thumbing at the collection of piercings in her ear he accompanied her with to get years ago. “God, you’re so fucking beautiful.”
“Well, I’m suddenly glad I can only acknowledge this as awkward and not feel it.” Kagami noted into her class. Her phone buzzed, electing a sigh from her as she began turning. “Have fun, my mother decided to remind me why this wine was a good idea to have before she came.”
She watched her friend walk away, her other -her best friend and other half, remained taking her in and stroking the soft spot under her ear he once claimed with a mark-
The one time they admitted their crushes and strong attraction towards the other the night before he left for tour years ago.
It was the only time Luka had indulged himself in his wants and desires, the only time he had asked to and still provided her with an out. And now he still remains far off in her memories, even as he stands in front of her with that look on his face years later.
“How did you,” she swallows when his soft gaze flicks back up to her eyes with his full attention. “How did you get in? It’s a ticket only event.”
He shrugged, turning to offer her an arm and walk around. “I may or may not have seen Adrien’s post about his mom and dad going to a gala event and him going to see his cousin there. Seems like that took precedence I guess.”
Marinette huffed low, “Félix has been in town for three weeks. Adrien and I had lunch with him the other day.”
Luka stilled as a busboy stopped in front of them, offering them glasses of champagne. Luka’s nose twitched, then his lip as he turned away with a polite smile. Marinette shook her head in turn as well.
“You know you don’t have to pass just because of me, right?”
“Hey, we do this ‘young 20 some year olds unable to drink alcohol’ in solidarity together.” He cracked a smile at that, “Soda is my alcohol.”
“Alright, you can be an honorary member of the alcohol intolerance club.” Luka laughed when she hummed gleefully. “Dork.”
“Nerd.”
“So, back on topic, Adrien just really had no excuse then?”
“Ha, no, even his dad stopped by an hour ago to congratulate me and get press photos done to promote the line. All his son did for me was send a text with a sad face attached to his cancellation.”
“... I can kick his ass, you know?”
“I know, I’m just saving for a rainy day.” She laughed, stepping closer to his side and wrapping both arms around his. “So, the ticket, you party crasher.”
“Right, yeah, I may or may not have called your assistant earlier today to swipe it. I took a guess that she held onto it for safe keeping so-,”
“She’s new, I’m not surprised she just gave it up that easily.” She let Luka guide her into a dance. One hand with painted black holding hers to his chest, the other gently tugging to hold his shoulder before he held her waist.
“Oh, that, that explains a lot now.”
“What?”
He flinched, a nervous glint flashing across his features. “I may or may not have lied about who exactly I was since she didn’t know my name-,”
“Doesn’t listen to your music, already told her the sin she was committing.”
“And who I was to you, specifically-,”
Marinette tilted her head back in a laugh, Luka’s arm tightening to brace her weight, “You said you were my husband, didn’t you?”
He flushes at a memory of once getting a creep off her back a year ago by claiming that very title to her.
“Erm, no, I said I was your boyfriend and may have sold it by saying some pet name and swooning over you just a little,” he watched her eyes go wide then soft, a smile twitching to show. He stepped closer, almost pulling her flush to him, “But if that’s what you want, I can go out and get some marriage certificate?”
She flushed, lips parting and a rush of air passing them.
“Maybe call Jagged up and fly us to Vegas? I mean, we’re both looking good right now, you more so.” Her face went a shade or two deeper. She jumped in surprise when he let go of her hand to play with a tendril again on the right side, tilting her face to press a kiss to her left cheek. “God, you’re such a pretty little thing.”
She squeaked.
“What, what was the pet name?”
“Hm?” He lazily met her gaze, a dream like haze filter over them as he moved her body to sway with his. “Oh, that.”
“What was it?”
Baby, babygirl, beautiful, gorgeous- he may have said more than one.
He gave a slow and wicked grin, twirling her out and back into his chest in a swift and stunning movement as he nudged his nose to hers.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” He teased, smile spreading wider and radiant as she forgot to breathe for a second.
What. A fucking. Tease.
The need for him to make good on his words and looks hit through her hard and reminded her of their one night together that they both never forgotten. And how much she wished that was every night, as long as it ended up with them curled right around each other and love and happiness coaxing them to sleep instead of stress and loneliness.
He watched her steel her gaze, her jaw tightened. He swallowed when her height, now of five feet thanks to heels, straightened and forced him to pull up. A violent shiver rocked through him when both hands held along the back of his neck, one slipping under the collar of his shirt to scratch along the nape.
“Marinette-,” he choked.
“I’m only asking so I can show my reciprocation.” She leaned closer, kicking her shoes off into some corner and standing on his converse that every elder of theirs had eyed in question during the night. He supported her actions fully, of course. Still stepping them around in dance within a fluid motion. “Not gonna tell me, hun?”
He coughed, loudly and looked away from her to catch his breath. Watching adults cheat on spouses everywhere or everyone else minding their own business to stare at models or the shrimp on the tables.
He almost tripped when she wined in protest, her hand gripping his chin lightly and turning it to face her. His eyes were flickering between admiration, lust and love, growing three shades of deeper blue than was possible.
“C’mon, baby, tell me.”
“Baby?” He stammered out in surprise. Teenage Luka was having a fucking field day with this. “Marinette, I was only joking earlier and-,”
“Were you really though?”
“No,” his response was fast and instant, a wince playing at the corner of his eyes and his button nose scrunching in loss of control.
“Hey handsome,” he preened under the nickname passing her lips, even if close to millions called him the same thing, it paid more effect when it was Marinette calling him it. “Tell me why you came tonight.”
His neck was aching from staring down to meet her eyes now that the heels were gone but he let himself down lower to press his forehead to hers. “Because you deserve better than what he gives you.”
The girl stilled, expecting an awkward or a flirtatious remark. “What?”
The rockstar looked away sheepishly, a little ashamed. “I know you’re considering getting with him, but when I heard he was canceling on you I let my jealousy win out and I just wanted to be there for you.” He bit his lip when he felt her tugging his face back in her direction, choosing to resist the pressure. “You have to believe me when I say I came with no ulterior motives other than protecting you from going stag to your own party tonight.”
“You, you came to protect me?”
He shrugged, another small shiver racking through him when her hands moved along and glided across his neck. “And make sure you had a good night. I even asked your mom what you were wearing tonight just so I could make sure my outfit complimented yours to cheer you up.”
She was silent for a minute or so, and he waited, patiently as ever and guiding her to rest her head against his chest as he swayed them.
Luka, doing all the work. Luka, taking matters into his own hands when someone fails her. Luka, going the extra mile to make sure she has a happy memory.
Fuck giving second chances to other people. Luka is the only one to have shown her he’s the most earning of the concept and notion.
She pulls away, feeling the slight reluctance in his arms on her waist before they drop to his side, “Grab my heels.”
He raises a black brow but complies, turning to find them and hooking his fingers in the backs. He eyes them, used to seeing her shoes laying around the Liberty when she comes over or even at her own place, but he always has to remark that, “You have small feet.”
“You’ve also called them cute,” she huffs, tugging on his hand and pulling him near the entrance.
He follows, like they always do for one another. “Because they are- where are we going?” He stops them as they round an empty corridor, away from the hotel’s event room where the party is still very much happening. The heel of his palm grips tight to archway, pressing against it, the small shoes still dangling in his hold.
“Home, your place or mine. Actually, mine’s closer.”
He laughs brightly, “You can’t ditch your own party for another movie night, Mari.”
The petite girl turns to him, a fierce expression in his eyes that makes him swallow harshly. “No, but I can ditch to celebrate in getting what I really want. For finally getting what I want.”
“The Chinese takeout place is closed this time of ni-,”
“You.”
“What?” Luka wheezes, he blinks stupidly at her. Prettily and stupidly. He straightens, freehand tugging at his collar a little like he needs room to breathe. “Come again?”
“I’m going home. I’m taking you with me. And we’re gonna celebrate that I finally got off my ass and got what I wanted.”
He hums, nervously and a bounce starting in his hand, a shake in one hand, his dark brows furrow, “And you want?”
“You.”
“You- you want,” he sucks in a sharp breath, pain flashing across his features as he clears his throat. “You want me?”
Her eyes soften, a smile showing as she steps closer to him and takes his face into her hands, pulling him down to be eye level with her as he braces his weight on the wall next to them with a hand.
“Yes,” he looks awestruck as she giggles. “I want you... can you let me keep you?”
He laughs nervously, “I’ll fucking sell myself to you if that’s what you really want, fuck.”
She’s smiling, leaning up on tiptoes to alleviate the strain in his neck and pressing a kiss to his lips, muffling the undignified noise of surprise that escapes him. She lets him get used to her for a second, kissing him slowly and purposely as starts to eventually overcome the shock and kiss her back in reverence.
He pulls away suddenly, a guilted expression on his face.
“Wait, wait. What about Adrien?”
“What about him?”
Luka fidgets, a quick glimpse of insecurities and jealousy showing to her before he regains a semblance of control after having his walls knocked down. “He’s been trying to go out with you, win you affections.”
He only knows of the situation, but never presses her to talk about it. It’s natural for it to come up in conversation everyday when he asks her about work knowing the stress of being twenty-two in a high end fashion company could be a bit more than overwhelming. He wanted to be a safe place to her since the beginning.
“There’s nothing about him. I’ve shut him down an handful of times and now it’s just a matter of letting him indulge himself in what he thinks are romantic gestures when me saying no doesn’t cut it. There’s nothing going on between him and I, just his belief that my crush from years ago accounts for something today.”
Luka still looks wary and isn’t touching her, most likely his conscious trying to be the better person between him and Adrien by not going out with the girl his friend is pining after.
Even if said girl is Luka’s legitimate best friend and the very same girl he’s been in love with since he was a kid.
Marinette feels like it’s a dirty tactic as she gets closer to him, trying to gauge where it’s jealousy and where it’s insecurity in regards to Adrien.
She presses a kiss to the corner of his mouth. Luka’s head turns minutely at the attention, tilting less than a centimeter to catch her lips before he catches himself. He struggles when her next kiss falls to his lips and is soft and slow, how he always wants to kiss her.
“Remember our first kiss?” She whispers, wounding arms around his waist and pressing close to him.
He matches her volume, an adoring look winning for a split second, “Of course I remember.”
“Remember our first date?”
“At the ice cream parlor, you wore a pink skirt that kept twirling when you did.” She feels his resolve break a little, his own right to be selfish with her slipping out a little.
His arms slip around her, and he presses a gentle kiss to her temple. “Remember our goodbye at the airport?” His arms tightening around her speak more volumes than his strained, “Yes,” does.
She’s just a little closer to convincing him to stop being so sacrificial with his own wants or needs. She just has to push more.
“Remember waking up in one another’s arms that morning?”
He’s silent for a few seconds, thinking of what he can say in response to that. Wondering how honest to be, “... every day, I think of that morning every day.”
She still hears the clipped apprehension in his voice. That tone she knows so well that’s gonna lead into him giving her advice to rethink this whole decision and talk to him when she’s absolutely sure. How she shouldn’t think on impulse and lunge at what she wants unless she knows she does wanna keep with it.
But, he has to know she always thinks back on moments with him and that she longs to have jumped on impulse if it meant being with him.
Every time he’s showed up with takeout at her place. When he smiles so freely at her. When he bandages her cuts and blisters from working all night long.
When he showed up tonight looking like he had been her dare to begin with. How her heart felt when he admitted to lying to her secretary. The way he looked carrying her high heels that were much too small for his hands but he didn’t care because she asked him to.
How he crashed her own party to make sure she’d have fun tonight.
She’s sure she wants this, him.
All those nicknames they could call each other. All the benefits of dating the other and having a date to everything the other needs to attend. Having her best friend be her boyfriend meaning there’s no holding back from anything.
She’ll cringe about it in the morning, but it’s gotta work to break his long instilled fear of being a bad friend or person. Of being unselfish.
“Do you still remember that night?”
She’s sure he’s stopped breaking by the way his entire body seems to shut down, but then it reboots and he’s shaking against her and can’t seem to breathe correctly, his eyes avoiding hers as he swallows again and looking like he’s willing to risk going into an allergic reaction for the sake of one drink.
“That- that’s not something you forget, Marinette.” His hands are twitching on her waist, grip tightening just a little and a vein is jumping in his arm to do something to prove he remembers alright.
One more push, “Do you still remember how I tasted that night?”
He seizes her waist, lunging to kiss her desperately like he did that night and when he left, a growl passing his lips onto hers. He’s cupping the back of her neck, fingers threading through her hair, breathing her in and shaking against her as his resolves breaks completely and the selfish side comes out. The one that’s nowhere near as selfish as the average person, but enough to take in the matter of his own needs and wants. He pulls back, letting her watch his eyes darken, the pupils expanding until the blues are next to near mere ridges of color. He’s watching hers do the same before he nudges her nose and kisses her slowly, more loving and affectionate. His control slipping back into place and resulting in the Luka she so loves regaining the handles of his own mind.
He’s careful in the way he tugs her lip with his teeth, how he coaxes her to let him kiss her fully before pull back and panting against her lips.
“Yes, I remember,” his voice is rough and he has to glance away from her and straighten. She watches him take a few meditative breaths before he looks back at her.
“Does that really help?” She gestures to his chest and mouth, “the breathing?”
He laughs hollowly, “No, not really, but it bought me time to create some distance in this,” he glances around, “Not your apartment place.”
She laughs at the suddenly horrified look that crosses his face, the image of them making out and the threat of almost being caught in public instantly dawning on him. He glares playfully at her.
“You did that all on purpose.”
“Had to, you were just about to give me up for the sake of being a good friend to me and Adrien.” She pauses, a wicked idea forming to prove her point, “Unless, you want Adrien to know what that all is like?”
A dark look crosses Luka’s face; unrestrained bouts of suppressed jealousy, possessiveness and territoriality. “No,” he growls out, eyes squeezing shut and having to clear his throat. “I’d rather not let him know any of that personally.”
“Not even how I taste?”
“Marinette,” he warned, the growl resurfacing. She cooed, wrapping him up in a hug and pressing a kiss to his jaw as an apology. He whined, “It’s not funny when you do that.”
“No, but everything you feel is alright to feel. Don’t hold back for the sake of not being selfish. You can be selfish with me, you’re a reasonable guy and know boundaries.” She sighed, nuzzling further into his warm embrace. “I don’t like Adrien the way he wants me to, and lately, it’s hard to even be his friend. He needs to move on from me. Hell, I’m better friends with Félix now than him.”
“Just hope they don’t switch up on you again.”
She huffed in amusement. “God no, I’d kill them.”
“It’s adorable how how your less than five feet body resorts to violence and death threats.”
“Mm, except you, I’m quite fond of you.” She looks up at him, chin pressed to his chest and smiling when he looks at her softly and presses a kiss to her nose. “This, us, is not an impulse. Just a restrained want I’ve had for awhile.”
“Okay, I understand now.”
She grins cheekily at him, “Or need, if that makes you all possessive hot yet secretly adorable rockstar boyfriend mode again.”
“Boyfriend?” He smiled slowly, radiant as always and heart stopping. “If teenage me could hear you, he’d probably shut down from being overwhelmed.”
“Nineteen year old you certainly didn’t that night,” she mumbles, grinning at the loud bark of laughter that surprises the both of them when Luka throws his head back.
“Yeah, thanks for reminding me what age I lost it at, totally rockstar of me, right?” The blush that’s coating his neck and ears is adorable, a shy smile quirking at her briefly.
“I think it’s sweet, cute even.”
“Yeah, because you’re the one I lost it to.” He deadpanned without conviction. “But, I guess I’ll take being sweet and cute.”
“It’s okay though, I mean, I did the cliché of losing my virginity to someone I was in love with.” Luka does in fact shut down in her embrace hearing that. Hands jittering against her and fingers tapping like he’s trying to speak through notes against her skin.
He takes another minute, before pressing a kiss to her hair. “If this is you confessing your love to me -and believe me, it’s killing me to stop you right now, I’d rather you do it in regards to another topic and not the fact that we were one another’s first time.” He avoids the dangerous smirk aimed his way, or the sharp angle of her cocked, black brow above breathtaking blues. “C’mon, let’s go dance some more and celebrate your success before we leave, maybe find your assistant to introduce me as your boyfriend to.”
She pours at him when he tugs on her hand in the direction of the party. “But-,”
He breathed out shakily, a waning patient look in his eyes and a false smirk aimed at her. “Can I sleep over tonight?”
“Do you want to?”
“Yes,” he breathed. “I’m very close to just following you home at this point, trust me. I don’t care how the night ends, just as long as it’s you and me tonight.”
She’s letting him make them dance again, feeling as the nerves leave his body as he gets them to fall in step with the tempo. He doesn’t care that he has to bend a little ways down to rest his cheek on her hair, not when she’s letting him pull her up against his chest when she typically only reaches the bottom of his rib cage.
They work well together, they fit perfectly together because they’re more than used to the instinctive adapting to one another.
Her hands cup his cheeks, kissing him carefully without reservation and the anxiety, “It was only an impulse at times because I love you and have for awhile.”
Luka deepens the kiss just a little, thankful she’s the type of girlfriend to let him indulge in her as he smiles, “I get it, I’ve had my share of impulsive thoughts for as long as I’ve been in love with you since we were young. I love you, Mari.”
“Enough to crash a party for me, apparently,” she whispered, a little moved by the thought that they were finally together. He thumbed her tears away.
“Enough to kill Adrien or Félix if you ask me to,” he replied in a loving tone, soothing her gasps for air when she broke apart in giggles against his chest in reaction.
He didn’t leave after that night. And he went to every party as her date too.
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sehunniepotwrites · 3 years
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when the ball drops, our hearts stop | mk.l
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gif created by @nctsworld​ 
SYNOPSIS ☆ In which being dragged and ditched at a New Year’s Eve gala with your so-called enemy doesn’t end as badly as you thought it would. 
GENRE ☆ enemies-to-lovers!au, fluff, suggestive PAIRING ☆ mark lee x (f) reader WORD COUNT ☆ 2666 WARNINGS ☆ suggestive content ahead!! dirty dancing, neck kisses, alcohol consumption, mentions of cheating, cursing
PLAYLIST ☆ new year’s day - taylor swift
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“What are you doing on New Year’s Eve?” had to be the number one question that was sent your way and unlike last year, you didn’t have an answer. Finding your lack of plans to celebrate the upcoming year with a bang, your best friend Wendy decided to drag you to the great outdoors. 
And by the great outdoors, she meant the biggest New Year’s Gala in the city. So there you were, in the grandest hotel in the heart of the city, downed in a glittery silver power suit that hugged your body in just the right way. A matching belt wrapped around to cinch your waist and the low cut of your blazer and lack of undershirt only accentuated the curves you usually preferred hiding. Hair curled up and face painted with the most flattering colors for your skin tone, you were rocking and ready to go.
The gala was packed with people your age and older with a mix of top forty music blaring from the loudspeakers. Everyone was dressed to the nines, wearing suits and dresses that went with the gold and silver theme. Bodies were pressed against each other on the dance floor and you were sure Wendy and her boyfriend Johnny were in that crowd as well. They were always the type to be caught up in all the fun— you, not so much, not since your breakup with your ex that occurred five months ago anyway.
You wanted to stray away from the party scene since it was your ex’s scene as well but fuck it, it was New Year’s Eve and you deserved to have fun. Your definition of fun included an obscene amount of alcohol, courtesy of Son Wendy and the credit card she slipped into the palm of your hand before making her way to the dance floor.
Of course, you promised that you would chat and get to know some people, maybe find someone to share a New Year’s kiss with but it was all a lie. You just wanted your free drinks and the loneliness haunting your mind to fade away.
Three Long Island Iced Teas and a bit way past tipsy into your night, a person pushed their way next to you at the bar, their body pressing against your side as they ordered a drink. You couldn’t see them, your hair creating a curtain and blocking them from view but you felt their eyes on you. It wasn’t until you leaned forward and took another sip of your drink that the person talked to you, immediately recognizing your face.
They called your name a bit cockily and you flinched at the sound, sober enough to pinpoint the exact person next to you but drunk enough to engage in a conversation with him. Swiveling your barstool to face him, you shot him a curt smile, lifting your drink up from the bar in greeting. “Mark,” you nodded as you drank him in. 
“Yo.”
As much as you hated to admit it, Mark Lee was handsome. His hair had been dyed a shade of blond and was styled in a way that made your heart unwillingly skip a beat. His grey velvet suit clung onto his body oh-so-well and the black tie that contrasted against the bright white of his shirt looked almost too tempting, the drunken state of your mind was urging you to pull it so he could step closer to you.
What did people say? Drunken thoughts, sober words? Yeah, fuck that.
“Johnny invited you?” you questioned as you sucked on the straw of your drink. You watched as his eyes flickered from your eyes to your lips for a fraction of a second, his lips curving into the smirk you wanted to punch off his face. Or kiss. 
“Yeah, should’ve figured I would see you when John invited me. You and Wendy are like a packaged deal, you know?” he replied as the bartender dropped off his drink. This time, your gaze was glued to his mouth as he took a swig of his drink, eyes slightly widening as his tongue peeked out before he downed the liquid courage. 
Coughing out of embarrassment, you looked away before Mark could catch you eyeing his seemingly delectable mouth. 
“You look like the mirrorball that’s about to drop,” he commented on your fit of the night. Glancing down at your suit, you frowned. It didn’t look that bad, did it?
When you shifted in your seat yet again, it sent your head spinning for a second, leaving you to grasp against Mark’s toned arm for balance. “I feel like one too,” you threw back. “Is the room spinning?”
“Shit, dude, how much did you drink?” His voice dropped lower in slight concern.
You hold up three fingers before blinking. No, it was four. You raised another finger. 
“All of them iced teas?” 
“Yup!”
He cursed “Where’s your asshole of a boyfriend? Don’t see him around anywhere— doesn’t he know it’s not safe to leave their girl alone at the bar?” Mark pushed, suddenly worried about your safety. He asked if anyone had hit on you yet and let out a sigh of relief when you reiterated that no one had bothered you. Despite the insult thrown your ex’s way, you remembered how considerate the guy was. The only real reason you hated Mark was due to the rivalry he held with your ex-boyfriend.
“I dunno,” you shrugged, shoulders raising and the material of your blazer shifting. Mark coughed, eyes quickly darting away so they wouldn’t land on the deep cut into your cleavage. “Probably sucking face with the bitch he left me for.”
Another long swig of your iced tea and suddenly, the drink was gone with only ice in the glass. You pointed a finger at his face, “Don’t cheat, folks. It’ll wreck a person.”
“Fuck,” Mark muttered under his breath, now fuming with anger that someone would cheat on a girl like you. It only grew when he realized your best friends had left you at the bar alone. He was going to rip their heads off later— how irresponsible of them. 
“Maybe that’s enough drinking for you today,” he told you, wanting to cut you off so you could sober up. He waved a hand in the air to call the bartender over to request two glasses of water, which was immediately prepared for you.
“Drink up,” Mark commanded, holding the straw to your lips. 
You thanked him with a lazy smile before drinking away, sighing at the refreshing feeling of the cold water running down your throat. He held the drink for you in his hands as you continued to work on the glass, only setting it down after you finished it. 
“Thanks,” you whispered, touching your forehead to his shoulder. He felt comfortable and you didn’t want to move as you breathed in the addicting scent of his cologne. You always preferred Mark’s fresh cologne over your ex’s overwhelmingly woody scent. It was consoling and safe and nice and—
“Hey, why don’t we move you to a booth? You’ll be more comfortable there,” Mark softly suggested.
“But what if I want to dance for once?” you whined.
“Let’s get you to sober up a bit more and then I can take you dancing, how ‘bout that?” His breath hit your ear and you laughed at the cold sensation before nodding. A flush that had nothing to do with the alcohol you consumed took over your face as the man you said you hated wrapped a supporting arm around your waist.
An hour later, your drunken state was fading as was the loneliness you were dreading. Mark Lee made an excellent company; he wasn’t at all what your ex painted him out to be. He was kind, caring, and endearingly sweet with the prettiest pair of eyes to match. The way his body wiggled to match his overflowing giggles brought the brightest smile to your lips, something you hadn’t experienced in quite some time. 
The time spent with him in the small booth rekindled the crush you harbored for him before you met your sad excuse of an ex, heart fluttering against your chest.
“Hey,” he leaned over the table, his face so close to yours. “You wanna move closer to the screen so we can see the ball drop clearly? It’s forty to midnight. We can dance, too.”
Your eyes curled up in excitement as you agreed, easily slipping your hand in his like you had done it a million times before. The feeling of his larger hand wrapped around yours sent you into a high that you couldn’t really describe. All you knew was that you didn’t want him to let go and thank god he didn’t.
Mark only held you tighter as you arrived on the dance floor with a clear view of the screen. The bass thumped as he tentatively quirked a brow, silently asking you to dance. You replied by draping your arms over the slopes of his shoulder, your fingertips playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. Tugging you closer at the waist, Mark shot you another look to see if you were okay. The tightening grip around his neck was enough of an answer for him. 
You shivered as his hands ran up and down the sides of your body, his touch almost burning through your glittered suit. When Mark least expected it, you turned around in his hold, pressing your backside against his front. A groan slipped out of his lips before his head dropped against your shoulder, his moist lips ghosting against the exposed skin of your neck. You reached back to hold his head in place as your body grinded into his.
The hand holding your waist tightened at your ministrations, squeezing you in a way that drove you crazy and the pair of lips that left a cautious kiss drove you crazier. The moan you let out and the way your free hand depressed against the one placed on your side was all the confirmation Mark needed to continue the trail of kisses he planned on leaving over the expanse of your neck. You enjoyed the feeling of his lips on your skin so much, your head rolled back and your eyes fluttered to a pleasured close as he nipped at your skin. 
The next half hour was spent with you encaged in Mark’s hold and you weren’t ashamed to say that you enjoyed every minute of it. When catching eyes with Wendy and Johnny across the dance floor, you laughed as your best friend wiggled her brows at you and shot a thumbs up your way. It was then, you realized, that it was their plan to get you two together all along.
Your friends had always mentioned you would get along great, the only thing stopping you was the blasted and unnecessary rivalry that blossomed between Mark and your ex. Now that the terrible excuse of a person was out of your life, there was room for a new man and you found yourself not hating the idea of Mark being the next keeper of your heart.
Five minutes to midnight, you turned around in his hold and smiled up at him. He returned the look with a soft grin of his own. 
“You’re not as bad as I thought you were, Mark Lee.”
“Took you long enough to notice,” he chuckled lowly, the sound sending a warm feeling to the pit of your stomach. “I never thought of you as bad, you know?”
“Is that so?” you countered, your hand freely running through his blond tresses. 
“Yeah, I always thought you were great.”
“Just great?” you teased, leaning a bit forward.
He groaned, “Ugh, dude, you know what I mean.”
“I don’t think I do, dude,” you pushed further, leaving him to touch his head against your shoulder again. You were starting to think that he loved to do it. 
“I always thought you were pretty special,” he whispered into your skin. 
Placing a kiss on the top of his head, you answered back, “I never wanted to admit it but I thought you were pretty special, too.”
“Glad to finally see that the feeling’s mutual,” he laughed before he returned the favor with a kiss to your jaw.
When the countdown from twenty began, Mark shifted both your bodies to face the screen as the people around you started to shout the numbers at the top of their lungs. Wendy and Johnny fought their way through the crowd to get to you and you briefly squeezed your best friend’s hand in greeting. Ready to leave the current year behind and welcome in the new one, you pressed your side into Mark’s before joining in on the countdown. 
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You were shining, Mark noticed, like the mirrorball that was projected on the screen. It wasn’t like he mentioned earlier— it had nothing to do with the silver of the suit. It was just you and the way you shined so brightly as your voice blended with the others in the room. You were lost in the feeling and he loved the way you looked under the dim lights. 
He hoped he could see you in more nights to come, for more opportunities to hold you the way he did on the dance floor.
Mark Lee, who was in love with you longer than he could even remember, wanted your midnights and more. He wanted to hold on to the memories of keeping you close and to create new ones if you would let him. 
Hold onto the memories and they’ll hold onto you or so they said.
His eyes were stuck on you like glue as the crowd reached number ten.
Nine!
Mark’s hand wriggled around the ends of your blazer.
Eight!
His fingertips were hot against your bare skin.
Seven!
Mark tugged you closer to him, making you lose your grip on Wendy’s hand.
Six!
He found your hand reaching for his, fingers tangling together like the red string of fate.
Five!
His heart was beating a mile a minute at the feeling of your thumb rubbing against his skin.
Four!
You jerk your head towards him with glistening eyes and the widest smile. His eyes darted down to your colored lips before shifting back to meet your gaze.
“You wanna kiss me so bad,” you teased as your eyes followed his actions and ended up watching his tongue peek out to moisten his now dry lips.
Three!
“And what if I do?”
Two!
“Well, I’m not going to stop you,” came your flirty reply.
One! 
And when the ball dropped from the sky, your hearts stopped for a brief moment.
Cheers for the new year came from all around but Mark Lee didn’t care— all he cared about was your lips fiercely crashing against his. He spun your body round so it slotted so perfectly against his, much like two pieces of a puzzle coming together as a whole. 
The sensation of finally kissing your lips after secretly longing for you was more than satisfactory; it was addictive, more addictive than the drinks he consumed or any other tempting substance that existed in the world. Mark Lee was enthusiastically devoted to kissing you and the idea of ceasing never crossed his mind.
The only reason he did was for you to catch a breath. His eagerness never faltered, his lips running down to your jaw and the sides of your neck. He pecked your temple and forehead as you giggled at his over-the-top display of affection and it was music to his ears.
Pulling you flush into his chest, he whispered a late greeting into your ear, “Happy New Year.”
With your hands resting against his pecs, you glanced up at him with a charming smile, making his heart drop for the second time in the new year. 
“A happy new year indeed.”
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author’s note ☆ surprise! happy new year, everyone! (and happy 500+ followers to me!) i coughed this out in like five hours so it’s unedited and not my best work, but i wanted to release something in time for the new year! wishing you the best 2021!! 
this was originally a request and i finally filled it!! ✨
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You still remember where you were when the news that mermaids were real broke, you were sitting in the library trying to catch up on homework when the person next to you suddenly gasps and turns on a video. More annoyed than anything you tried to ignore his commotion and focus, midterms were coming up and nothing could be more important than that. When you got home and turned on the news you had to double check the date to make sure the headline wasn't a prank.
"That's right folks, the existence of mermaids has been confirmed. Mermaids are real."
That was three years ago and now you had a degree in behavioral psychology and were ready to get out there. You had put in applications at every marine research center you could to try and work with a merperson. Just as you were losing hope the Sunshine Rehabilitation Center reached out to you, requesting your help in dealing with a temperamental merman. You accepted it without a second thought and booked the first flight out and today was the day you were finally going to meet your first merperson. 
The night before you got the report of who you would be working with, a shark merman by the name of Cyrus. He had beached himself after some fishermen tore up his tail because he started hunting in their fishing grounds. Apparently he is aggressive and distrusts humans to the point he is hindering his own rehabilitation, the people in charge of the center were hoping you could come in and help them with him. You thought you were ready to meet him but you were not prepared to stand in front of a six million gallon tank and a merman over nine foot.
You had seen a tank like this before at Sea World though unlike those tanks this one was set up to look like the ocean. The sand on the bottom of the tank was almost as tall as you, there was a cave built into the tank to give the merman some privacy. Said merman was currently swimming through the tank as best as he could, the wounds on his tail still looked red and painful. From what you can tell he was a Bull Shark meaning he was already aggressive to start with and his injury only added to it, it was no wonder they needed extra help.
Since it was feeding time you would get to see Cyrus up close and personal and while you were excited you were also nervous, Cyrus could very easily snatch you up and drag you into the tank with him if he felt like it. So you decided to watch him from a distance standing as far back on the platform as you could. 
"Okay Ms. y/l/n Cyrus gets a little messy when he eats, you don't get sick from a bit of blood do you?" One of the biologists cracked a smile as she teased you, trying to get you to relax a little. It only made you more tense. A couple of the biologists tossed massive chunks of fish into the tank to get Cyrus's attention, he surfaced causing water to flow over onto the observation deck. You've seen some pictures of mermaids online but none of them looked like him, his jawline was so sharp it could cut glass, his eyes are such a deep brown they're almost black. Opening his mouth he reveals sharp teeth that easily shred the flesh of his meal.
Seeing the other people so close to him made you feel a bit more at ease and as you approached him, Cyrus shot a glare at you as he pulled his food into the pool.
~~~~~~~
It's been almost a month since you started working with Cyrus and slowly things were looking up. The first two weeks had been rough, one time he tried to bite your hand off but after you popped his nose out of reflex he straightened up. Since then Cyrus had seemed to become attached to you, always coming to the surface when you climbed the platform, he'd take things from you very gently as opposed to the almost violent way he would take things from other people. It seemed Cyrus had taken to you so much he started bringing you little things inside his habitat which mainly consisted of things he had taken from the other employees or little pieces of his meal. He seemed to be responding well to your time with him and was starting to let the biologists help him.  Today however he was acting aggressive again and you didn't know what set him off, his routine hadn't changed at all and he was even ignoring you today. 
By the time five rolled around you were fed up with his behavior and ready to go home, almost everyone else had already left so it was just you and two other biologists. You kick your flats off and walk to the edge of the platform to say goodnight to Cyrus it was something you started as a way to build trust but soon turned into second nature for you, once you had rushed out and forgot to tell him good night and it was all you could think about till you came back in. Before you even get to the edge Cyrus is already waiting for you, only his eyes above the water as he watches you approach. 
"Goodnight Cyrus, hopefully tomorrow you'll be in a better mood, okay bud? Get some rest!" As you turn to leave a clawed hand shoots out and wraps around you ankle and pulls you to the floor causing you to hit your head stunning you. Cool water engulfs you as Cyrus pulls you to his large chest and swims away from the platform and into the middle of the pool. Once there he rolls onto his back and places you onto his stomach he watches as you cough up the water in your lungs, you place your hands on his hard abs as you steady yourself. Trying to stay calm you talk to him through your hacking "Cyrus *cough* I know you are having a hard day but this isn't appropriate. Now please *cough* take me back to the platform." 
The look on his eyes was so intense you start to feel uncomfortable you open your mouth to ask again but Cyrus's hand wraps around your waist as he hoists above his face, and in a swift motion his thumb he pushes your pencil skirt up to your hips and catches your panties and rips them off. You bang your small fists against his hand and he moves you over his mouth, panic shoots through you as you start screaming for the biologists to help you but they just stood there stunned. Logically you knew there wasn't anything they could do but emotionally you were upset that they were about to watch you get eaten. Tears are streaming down your face by the time his tounge slithers out of his mouth and starts to prod at your cunt and before you can react to his actions he plunges it into your tight hole, pushing past your tight muscles. The sudden intrusion burns and you try and push his hand off of your waist but your struggling makes his hold your tighter as he starts to fuck you on his tongue. The painful burn starts to fade into a pleasurable one as his rough appendage rubs against the bundle of nerves inside you, your hips start to grind down against him and he loosens his grip to let you. 
Just before the knot in your stomach can snap Cyrus pulls his tongue out of you making a whine escape you, your eyes meet his now almost black eyes. Never breaking eye contact with you Cyrus places you on his waist just below his genital slits. From the cornor of your eyes you see the biologists frantically moving around, in the back of your mind you were hoping they were figuring out how to save you but your hopes were dashed when you saw they were setting up a camera and taking notes. Feeling utterly humilated and betrayed you turn back around to find two erect penises in front of you. They were white and stripped with the same shade of gray on his tail, the penises had to be at least 14 inches. Panic sets in again when he wraps his hand back around your waist and aligns your cunt with the blunt head of one of his cocks. 
Trying one last time you try and talk some sense into the horny merman. "Cyrus please it won't fit inside me! You are gonna rip me in half, stop please!" He pauses for a moment and huffs out in annoyance, you breathe a sigh of relief thinking he listened to you, but before your eyes his cock starts to shrink. By the time it stopped he was around ten inches and already pushing inside you. Once again you try to claw at his hand or close your legs anything to stop him from violating you any farther but with a little more pressure from his hand you legs spread open and slams his cock up into you filling you up all at once. 
Your head snaps back in both pain as the breath is forces from your body, Cyrus moves you up and down his cock like a fleshlight as he fucks you. His other dick rubs against your clit everytime he brings you down on him the friction sends jolts of pleasure up your spine and soon your slick starts to leak down your thighs as the knot in your stomach starts to build again. Suddenly his member starts to grow inside you and every thought leaves your brain and all you can focus on is how full you can feel. He finally stop when you go ridged in his grip and starts thrusting even faster into you, going so deep inside you could swear he was fucking your womb. Finally the knot snaps and you unravel on top of him, your cunt tightens around him in a vice like grip and with a growl Cyrus cums deep inside you. The cock in front of you erupts as wells and showers you with ropes of hot cum, his grip loosens around you and you slump down onto his body. His cocks softening and retracting from you, Cyrus lays a hand across your back as you come back down to earth. On the brink of consciousness you are vaguely aware of the fact that there are more than two biologists on the platform now. To tired to feel ashamed you close your eyes and let sleep take you.
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purpleyellow · 3 years
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Hide & Seek
NCT 24th member / Dream 8th member
Bee’s Masterlist
“The two times Bee avoided Mark and the one she didn’t”
a/n: Feel free to share your thoughts with me. Requests are open!💛
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Growing up, in general, is a pain in the ass, and Bee isn't the happiest about having to deal with it. She doesn't know if it's because of how she was raised, or if it's just her personality, but the girl cannot see herself as an adult.
You see, adults are supposed to manage five different tasks, have most things thought out, and try to handle everything that comes their way. Bee, however, wants to lay in bed at every minor inconvenience and wishes she could freeze time so she can digest what's happening.
She can see herself as those five-year-olds who pout, cross their arms and look away when you tell them they can't have ice cream for dinner. Just like she can see Jeno as those parents who bribe their kids to eat vegetables with a false promise of going to the ice cream parlor on the next day.
"Why don't you want to talk to him?" Jeno whispers to Bee midst the chaos in the van. The first time she successfully avoids Mark is when the members are leaving SM after a long day of figuring out stuff for the comeback. Things were only starting to come together, and the boy knows that if Mark and the girl don't figure out everything soon it's not going to be a fun process.
"I don't have anything to say" She mumbles looking out of the window. Jeno turns her head back to him before continuing.
"Maybe Mark has something. Or maybe he has questions"
"Good for him" She simply states. "I already said everything, so I'm not helpful to talk to"
"And you stand by everything you said almost six months ago?" He asks while trying not to laugh "You didn't think about it anymore? There, you said it and moved on"
"Yes, I stand by everything" She lies. Bee has relived every single conversation she has had with or about Mark especially lately, cringing at some stuff she said, making up better answers, and overanalyzing every little word even if they don't mean a thing. Jeno probably knows she does that, yet she's not going to admit that easily, because admitting means confronting the situation.
"Just maybe think things are exponentially worst when you're trying to avoid the topic instead of solving it once and for all" The boy mumbles and she rolls her eyes. Mentally thanking the manager who happened to pull up next to their building
Trying to escape that conversation as fast as possible, Bee holds onto the back of the seat in front of her, accidentally hitting Jaemin in the head, and jumps past Jeno, who frows as he watches her bolt out of the vehicle.
The girl only stops as she reaches the elevator because of the light feeling on her hoodie pocket. She had left her phone behind, throwing away all the work she just put into getting to her room without speaking with anyone else.
Walking back to the van, Bee keeps her head down to avoid making eye contact and waves off Renjun after he shared a proverb about people skipping a step only to return two. Honestly, he might have said something different because the meaning flew right above her head.
The manager, who had also left the vehicle to check on something at their apartment, throws his keys for her to catch and tells her to be quick.
Bee goes straight to the seat she had occupied and starts searching through the openings where the phone might have fallen from, ultimately deciding it was somewhere on the floor. Patting away underneath hers and Jeno's seat, she finally moves on to the row in front of them, getting scared by a light and the muffled sound of her phone ringing.
Almost like a miracle, she was getting a call from someone who might have saved her a couple of seconds of searching. Reaching out for the device, her smug grin turns to a frown as the name "Minhyung from Canada" shines on her screen. A confused noise leaves her mouth while Bee gets up from the floor, though her debating over either answering or not doesn't go very far due to said Canadian standing at the door of the van.
"I thought if I helped out find it, you would finally listen to me," Mark says, ending the call. Though, it seems like that was the only line he had rehearsed because after it they both stay in awkward silence, making Bee look down at the device in her hands before raising an eyebrow.
"Well, my hand touched it before the call got connected?" She, not as confidently, lies again.
Mark shakes his head adamantly "No it didn't"
"Do you have eyes on the floor?" The girl frowns trying to make that topic last longer but he doesn't fall for it.
"Yunhee," He says in a disappointed tone which Bee copies by saying "Mark"
Mark raises one eyebrow feeling rather playfully. "Mark Oppa?" and she rolls her eyes while planing an escape route.
The boy seems to remember what he was there for and scratches his head, suddenly bringing back the awkward mood.
"We should clear everything up, you know" His tone is back to uncertain surprising her by the sudden change and Bee feels her hands clamming up. She knows he's waiting for her to show any kind of reaction but for some reason, she cannot have any.
"Guys, I have to get the car back to the building. You can keep the conversation going at either of your dorms" The manager pops his head through the driver’s seat before climbing it. Bee hands him the keys and both idols slowly step out of the vehicle. Her mind is still blankly looking for a way to avoid listening to whatever the older had to say when the man magically says something that fixes all of her problems. "Actually, Mark come here, it's about 127's schedule tomorrow, something came up"
And she doesn't stay to listen as she bolts to the elevator that's taking her to her safe and Mark-free bedroom.
☆☆☆
The second time Bee avoids him, or gets saved by another person, happened a few days after the van accident when she rapidly types on her phone while running to the end of the hallway where the SM elevators are.
The sound indicating the doors opening on her floor catches her attention and Bee doesn't have to fully look inside the place to see Mark standing on the edge, ready to walk out of it. Almost without thinking, her feet make her turn left into another hallway and she instinctively makes her way to the room she had visited many times before.
Bee knows for a fact Mark is supposed to go to the studio she had just left, so the fact she can hear him doing the same route she is, makes adrenaline pump inside of her and the girl starts sprinting as fast as she can.
She finds it stupid how her brain suddenly read that moment as her being chased by something dangerous, but there's not enough time to let her process the situation. Instead, Bee barges through the door of Kun's studio and throws herself onto the space between the empty couch and the wall.
Crouching so she's hidden by the armrest, Bee simply says "I'm not here" before staring at the floor in front of her, making the WayV leader question why he's even surprised at that point.
A series of three knocks on the door makes Kun get up and go greet whoever had the decency to announce themselves before interrupting his work like half of his groupmates usually do. Keeping the door half-opened, he's half surprised by Mark standing a little distance away while seemingly sorry to be in that position.
"Hyung, my bad for coming here. But I was wondering if I could talk to Bee" The boy says scratching his eyebrow.
"I mean, of course, you can" Kun starts making the girl's heart drop "I'm not sure why you're asking me, though. And next time you see her, let her know I also need to speak with her"
"Oh, yeah. Sure?" Mark says uncertainly tilting his head and closing his eyes. He stares inside the room through the small space Kun allowed and sighs defeated "Sorry about it, I'll just go"
Waving to the boy, Kun waits for him to walk a little before closing the door and turning to the hidden girl. "You know we could see the top of your head, right?"
"Wait, he saw me?" Bee asks with wide eyes, supporting her head on the armrest and the boy rolls his eyes "Probably yes. The kid is just too polite to say anything about it"
Standing up from the ground, the girl sits on the couch to wait for a little before leaving the room. Kun takes the opportunity to throw himself back on his chair and interrogates her.
"Why are you avoiding Mark?"
"I stole his charger so now he's mad" She pouts looking at the ground making the older scoff.
"I'm not buying anything that simple. Don't think I haven't noticed you've been almost daily in our dorm instead of hanging out with your unit. We like when you visit but it became a little weird when we're not even there yet you still go hide inside our apartment"
"It's too complicated" She sighs craning her neck to check the clock "And I'm actually late for something, so you'll have to deal with my stupid high school problems sometime later"
"They're only stupid because you thought over them a million times and began downplaying whatever they are. You can't do that forever and you know it"
"Confrontation makes me cry, so I'll try my best to keep pushing it away" Bee smiles like something uplifting was said and stands up "See you later"
"Sure, good luck with your date" Kun smirks turning back to the table and checking on his work. Noticing she hadn't actually left the door he lets out a chuckle "Chenle told me about it"
"It's not a date. Chenle was literally invited to tag along" Bee rolls her eyes and he shrugs despite not looking back at her.
"Sure, have fun"
☆☆☆
Ever since Mark first showed his confusion over how things were going, Bee tried really hard not to make the situation awkward for everyone. She didn't want them to be extra careful around her, nor feel like this big dramatic thing was going on between the group. And to lessen her worries, the dreamies seemed to act the same they had always been.
There is the fact she isn't talking to Mark, but much to her surprise, the girl realized she never really relied a lot on speaking to him. Pretending everything was fine became part of her routine for that two weeks.
But just like Kun caught onto her distancing herself, a bunch of staff members also did. The choreographer who first introduced them to the routine asked her a couple of times if everything was okay, and the producer noticed the idol was out of the room the time she was finished, not really mingling like the rest of the boys.
Those two didn't really say anything about it, since she was still getting work done. That isn't the same for the management team, who not only saw her change in behavior but feared how much of that would be noticeable in videos and the overall dynamic of what they had waiting for the comeback.
"Bee, can I talk to you for a second" One particular manager called for her as she was resting on the corner of the dance studio.
Bee gathered her things in a pile on the floor and got up to follow him out of the room. The man had worked with NCT for a really long time, but he wasn't the closest manager to her, nor had ever taken care of her individual schedules. She knew whatever he had to tell her wasn't going to be very good.
"We don't want to intrude on whatever is going on in your life. But the moment it affects the group I'm afraid somebody needs to step in" The man sighs walking slowly next to her "If you're not feeling well, or something happened to make you not want to be around the members you need to act on it, or tell somebody so no one gets suspicious of it"
"I'll make sure no one notices it" She mumbles playing with her ring and rolls her shoulders "It's not something to be worried about though. Nothing really happened"
"We'll some people started to point out on Jisung's graduation video that you're often really quiet. Considering your personality it's nothing out of the ordinary, but you can't afford it pilling up and fans talking about it. We're aware of what that saesang said last year and don't think the company forgets easily if more fans start thinking you don't want to be in the group or doesn't belong in it, it's going to be a big problem"
"More people are talking about it?" Bee glances once again to the ring Renjun made her wear.
"It's a small number so far, but there are those who think that by Mark coming back and you being a little quieter, your place might be in another unit," He notices her gaze turning down and places a hand on her shoulder"Don't stress over it right now, just dedicate yourself a little more to the group and show you have a place in it. It should pass after some time"
Patting her, he reminds her to 'go back to normal before heading back to his work. Bee feels a slight headache creeping in and sneaks into a smaller room dedicated to vocal training, where she drops her body on a chair and closes her eyes to either sleep or try to gather some courage and face everything she has avoided so far.
The girl ends up doing neither because a few seconds pass and Mark pushes his head inside the room.
"Can we talk now?" He asks and without any energy left, Bee nods to the chair next to her for him to sit.
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psychedellic-phase · 4 years
Text
Perfect
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A/N: this is a request that i got forever ago!! so sorry that it took me so long:(
ReidxFem!BAU!Reader
word count: 2.2k
tw: SMUT (unprotected sex, oral (road head, male recieving) , degradation, slight exhibitionism, all around rough sexy vibes plus a sweet ending)
Masterlist :)
The roads were always empty when you’d finally leave work. Your job was never nine to five; it was more like nine to midnight. Not that you minded; the company was always good.
The company was always Spencer. When everyone else would finally give up and go home for the night, he’s the one who always stayed. And once you started your torrid love affair with him, you stayed too. Most nights he’d take you in an empty conference room, or a bathroom stall. Everyone wondered why you two always seemed to have so much paperwork to do, when in actuality it wasn’t about the paperwork, it was about each other.
It started out how most friends-with-benefits situations do. You were both stressed, full of pent up frustrations and sexual energy with no outlet. It started after a case, him showing up at your door unannounced and practically jumping on you the second you let him in. That night ended with two earth-shattering orgasms, and sleeping next to your coworker.
You both swore it would just be that once.
“A moment of weakness,” you had told your girlfriends, but soon that moment of weakness turned into days, turned into months, turned into nearly a year of weakness. Nearly a year of janitors-closet hookups and concealer-caked hickies. Nearly a year of sexting and countless trips to the mile-high club.
It had been nearly a year, and even though you swore it was nothing, it was definitely something. Sure it was sex, but it was also the way he looked at you and the way he’d take care of you afterwards. It was the way he’d burn toast in the morning and kiss your cheek when you woke up. It was more than what either of you had bargained for, but neither one of you had gathered up the nerve to admit it.
You were hopelessly, desperately in love with each other, and neither of you even knew it.
“Staying late again?” You asked him, half sitting on his desk.
His eyes trailed up your legs, admiring how your skirt slid up. He cleared his throat, “Actually, I’m going home.”
You were taken aback. The matching bra and underwear under your clothes were counting on being taken off by him tonight.
“Oh, well, okay then.”
He smiled at you, that awkward smile he always does that you insist looks like a frog.
You made your way to your desk, embarrassed and red, wondering if he was suddenly tired of you. God, you hoped he wasn’t.
The two of you entered the elevator together, the air thick and awkward. Usually, you would’ve been halfway naked, doing god knows what right now, but instead you were standing three feet apart and wishing the elevator would fall through the floor.
When the doors opened, you exited simultaneously.
“Let me drive you home,” He said, delicately grabbing your wrist.
Your interest was piqued, “Oh?”
He pulled you a little closer to him, but not so close that security would see what he was trying to do, “I have plans for you.”
You giggled, “I like the sound of that.”
He pulled you to his car. The old, yellow thing must have been from 1926 and you were amazed it even functioned.
You followed him eagerly, dipping into the passenger seat with ease. He started the car, looking over at you with a gleam in his eyes that you swore was more than just the moonlight.
“So, what’s the plan, Reid?” You asked as he pulled out of the parking garage.
His hand met your thigh, stroking small circles on your bare skin, dangerously close to where you were already throbbing.
“I was thinking, maybe you could do something for me. I mean, since I am driving you home and all,” He looked over at you, devilish grin.
You bit your lip, “And what would that something be, Dr. Reid?”
He took his bottom lip into his mouth, “Surprise me.”
You took that as your opportunity to reach over, glide your hands up the inside seam of his pants and palm him. He was already rock hard, you could see the pants straining to contain him. You deftly moved your hand up, the same way you had a hundred times, and unbuckled his belt. Then you pulled down his zipper at a ridiculously slow rate.
“C’mon baby, the ride’s only so long,” He said, his voice strained and his breath already heavy.
“Then take the scenic route,” You whispered, biting at his neck as you dipped your hand into his boxers and pulled him out.
The moonlight allowed you to see the gleaming tip, mouth watering as you twisted your body so you could bend over. He tugged his pants down slightly and moved the seat back to give you more space and access.
Your tongue teased the tip first, swirling around the head and dipping into the slit. He tasted musky and salty, the same way he always did. You quickly used your lips to take the entire head into your mouth, sucking hard while your tongue touched anything it could reach.
The sounds coming out of his throat were animalistic, “God, stop teasing.”
He used one hand to gather up your hair and tugged on it gently, your mouth opening up wider. You hit a bump in the road, his cock forcing itself up into your throat and causing you to gag. You kept him there, as far in your throat as he could go. Your hand found whatever your mouth couldn’t reach and moved in the same rhythm as you did. You nipped and sucked at him, tongue drawing broad stripes up and down and up and down.
You removed your mouth for a moment, your hand smearing your saliva and his precum around as you jerked him. Your tongue found his balls sucking and squeezing each of them between your lips.
He bucked up into you, the car jerking.
You giggled, tongue still poking out to lick at him, “Watch the road, Reid.”
He groaned as your mouth and hands switched places, hands toying with him while you bobbed your head up and down. He thought he was going to explode.
“Get off,” he ordered, yanking your hair again, this time pulling you off.
You were confused, mascara under your eyes, cheeks puffy and hair a mess, “But—“
Spencer pulled off the side of the quiet road, “You’re going to go bend over the back seat.”
You wriggled in your seat, “But I want to—“
“You heard me. Back. Now.”
You got up on shaky legs, your neck aching slightly from the angle of the road head.
You opened the door, and bent over, allowing your skirt to ride up.
You felt Spencer behind you, his large hands warm on your thighs as he trailed his hands under your skirt, finding your panties and yanking them off. The air was cold against your wetness but you didn’t feel it for long. His hand traced the curve of your butt before grabbing at it roughly.
“You’re so desperate, pretty girl,” He whispered, sliding the tip between your folds, “You’ll let me fuck you here, in public, for anyone to see.”
You couldn’t do much but whimper. The way he could use his words to build you up and simultaneously tear you down was enough to make you push towards him.
He roughly grabbed your butt again, “Oh, very desperate today, aren’t we pretty girl?”
You nodded, but he couldn’t see.
“I said, aren’t we, pretty girl?”
“Yes!” You yelped, “Yes! Please, please, I need you.”
He pushed into you then, leaving no time for adjustment. His hands fit in the dips where your hips met your waist. He started at a brutal pace, your knees rocking back and forth against the rough seats, destined to be cut and bruised tomorrow. You didn’t mind it.
He grabbed your hair again, pulling your head back so he could look at you, “You like that, don’t you? For such a pretty girl, you’re so dirty.”
You nodded, “Only for you.”
The words meant more than you intended them to, but he didn’t notice, too busy palming your ass and muttering insults at you.
You could feel him in your stomach with every thrust, your wetness spreading around, no doubt dripping onto his seats.
“You’re really just a whore, aren’t you? A pretty little whore, but still a whore.”
Your arms were growing weak, unable to hold you up anymore. You slid down onto your elbows from your hands, arching your back as high as you could.
He yanked your hair, the pain melting into pleasure that flooded down your body, “Look at me while I fuck you.”
You turned your head slightly to catch a glimpse of him. He was sweaty, hair stuck to his forehead and beads dripping down his face. His shirt was half unbuttoned, a peek of skin poking out, tie undone lying across his shoulders. His sleeves were rolled up, exposing the veins that line his arms and hands.
He looked like a God.
You turned back around, not able to handle the feeling in your chest in conjunction with the feeling in your lower belly.
“I’m close,” You muttered between groans, Spencer taking his fingers to your puffy clit and drawing fast figure eights.
“Cum all over me like a good whore. My good whore.”
That was enough to push you over the edge, pulsing and groaning beneath him. With a few extra sloppy thrusts, he was pulling out and cumming all over your ass.
You sighed, feeling the high that always came with him, but the low that always came the second he left.
You didn’t move. He was opening the glove box in search of tissues, wiping himself and you off before fixing your skirt.
He helped you up, knowing that your knees and elbows would be sore from holding yourself up. When you stood, he grabbed your hands to steady you and ran his hands through your hair. You saw that same thing in his eyes again, a lightness that could easily be mistaken for love.
“You know, you really are a pretty girl,” he said, his hand tracing from where he tucked your hair behind your ear to your chin. There he cupped the side of your face softly, pulling you into him for a kiss.
You’d kissed him a million times before, but they were different. They were always hot and heavy and frustrated and passionate. This kiss was light, sweet, kind. The kind that could be mistaken for love.
When he pulled away, you smiled at him.
“I-“ you started, before cutting yourself off. This wasn’t healthy, but if this was what you got, you’d take it. Any time with him was valuable time.
“What? What is it?” His voice was low, the moon above his head.
You blushed, realizing just how close he was to you. You wondered how you’d slept with him many times and this somehow felt more intimate than all of those experiences combined.
“I-we should get home.”
He smiled, “Right.”
When you got in the car, you turned away, knees facing the door. He instinctively put his hand out to find your thigh, but found nothing.
He sighs, “Did I go too far? I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’m so so sorry. I thought you liked–“
You laughed, voice only cracking slightly, “No, you were perfect.”
“Then what’s the problem?” He asked, voice high and nervous, nasally and wary.
“That is the problem,” You sighed, turning to look over at him. Even driving, he was somehow the most beautiful thing to ever grace this earth, “You’re perfect.”
He chuckled lightly, “Far from it.”
You reached out for where his hand was on the stick shift, placing your fingers over his, “Perfect.”
He looked over at you for a moment too long, car swerving as he did so.
You smiled, “Watch the road, Reid.”
He glanced between where his eyes should’ve been and where they wanted to be, “It’s hard to pay attention to the road with you here.”
“Really? Why’s that?” You said, sliding effortlessly back into the usual flirty banter. But the words left unsaid were on the tip of your tongue.
“Because I love you.”
He said it easily, honestly, more like a promise than a proclamation.
You squeezed his hand, the words falling over just as easily, “I love you too.”
He grinned, looking over at you once more, “I mean it. I don’t know when or where or how, but I fell in love with you, pretty girl.”
You leaned over to kiss his cheek, “I don’t know when or where or how, but I fell in love with you too, pretty boy.”
——————
Taglist:)
@slutforthegubes @safertokiss @tomorrowmeansoportunities @fullwattpadmusictree @helloniallslovelies @patronising-raven  @anthoqhila @chocolateflowerzipperbear @imjusthereformggcontent​ @haliekayy​ @drspencerreidscum @youre-a-wallflower-charlie​ @blameitonthenight21​
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Text
Late Night Errands Chapter 1
Mulder x Reader
Summary: The reader is a paralegal preparing to help defend her client on trial in a week. The stress has finally convinced her to go out and get a stethoscope to help calm her down. Little does she know a certain agent was watching her out while she was out late at night, and it makes her a prime suspect in his eyes.
Y/n= your name
Y/f/n Y/l/n= your first and last name
B/f/n= your best friend’s name
...
Y/n slammed the door shut then started to punch the sides of the steering wheel. What in the world was going through her mind? Of course this store wouldn’t have any stethoscopes! Even if it was a pharmacy. People don’t have stuff like that lying around in their homes. Not normal people, anyway. What was she gonna say to the employee when they inevitably asked why she was looking for one? “Oh, I don’t need one, I just want it for my weird-ass heartbeat kink!” Yeah, that was one conversation she didn’t want to have.
She silently stared at the moon for a few brief moments. Why couldn’t she have a normal kink like everyone else? Like feet, maybe. It still would’ve been weird, but dammit, at least she’d be able to find porn of it. The best she could find easily was cardiophilia fanfiction, and even then, it was scarce.
She snuck glances around the parking lot. Nobody in sight. So hopefully, nobody would notice the blush on her face when she brought up an hour long “asmr heartbeat” video for the sake of calming herself down.
She smiled in bliss. When a heartbeat was in the background, it was like everything melted away. She groaned in frustration when she heard a text from her friend, B/f/n.
Don’t forget we’re having lunch tomorrow! I’m taking your mind off that trial if it’s the last thing I do!
She was double pissed now that the stress of last week filled her head. She was a paralegal, and one of her clients was set to go on trial less than a week from now. It was the oddest case she’d ever seen. The case of Bill Brown.
The man had killed exactly one-hundred people in the span of less than half a year. And the details he gave were chilling. They were vivid and graphic. So, he must’ve been a sociopath or something, right? Well he was super remorseful. And upon turning himself in, that’s right, turning himself in, he sobbed for three days straight. What’s strangest was he claimed he didn’t know they happened until the memories came back to him that night.
She wouldn’t have believed it either, if he didn’t point to bodies that hadn’t been found yet. He helped officers uncover at least a quarter of his victims.
It gave everyone working in his defense a headache. Argue innocence and a false confession? He flat out admitted details the public didn’t know. Did they argue insanity? He seemed pretty fucking sane during interviews and psych evaluations. Self defense? Not in a million years.
What got at her was the genuine feeling he was innocent, and that someone, or something, could be out there. The idea of being out there in the city alone with it out and about gave her the creeps.
“Whatever,” she whispered, turning the audio up so she could return to her blissful ignorant state. Where everything melted away. Where she was actually pretty happy with a smile on her face. With that, she began to drive away.
All she could think about when she finished getting dressed was the trial. The trial, the trial, the trial. This was gonna be the biggest train wreck she would ever see in her career, and she had only become a paralegal a mere three years ago. She didn’t envy the defense attorneys she was working under.
Her thoughts were interrupted by three knocks at the door. Strange, she wasn’t expecting anyone today, except for B/f/n, and she was always late for everything.
She looked through the peephole to see two people in fancy clothing outside. She opened the door just a crack.
“H-hello…?”
“Y/f/n Y/l/n,” the man asked. Y/n nodded hesitantly. The man speaking held up the badge and the woman behind him did the same. “Agents Mulder and Skully, FBI. We have a few questions about your client. The one who’s set to go on trial next week.”
She turned her head to the side.
“I’m sorry, I think you might be mistaken. I-I’m not an attorney, I’m just a paralegal.”
“Oh, we’re not mistaken. That’s exactly why we wanted to talk to you.”
She looked inside her apartment real quick, then back at them.
“Okay… come on in. Just come in quickly so the cat doesn’t get out. She has a habit of running outside.”
She was internally grateful that her friend talked her into going out for lunch. She would’ve felt embarrassed if she had had to talk to these well dressed professionals in her pajamas. Skully knelt down, petting Y/n’s cat that had just walked up to the two.
“Um… would you like tea or anything? I’m about to make some for myself now.”
Skully lifted up one of her hands while she let the small animal nuzzle into her other one.
“That won’t be necessary. We plan to be out as soon as possible.”
“O-okay… um... I’m guessing you’re here to ask about Bill Brown?”
Mulder nodded.
“That’s correct.”
“I… don’t really understand. He’s set to go on trial less than a week from now. Why is the FBI getting involved? I thought this was settled, more or less.”
“We think he may be the wrong guy. We’re investigating a series of murders strikingly similar to the ones he supposedly committed a year and a half ago. We need to look at some of the previous evidence and cross examine it with the crimes happening now.”
She still seemed unconvinced.
“Why haven’t you gone to my firm? Or better yet, the police? I-I’m sure they have everything on file.”
Mulder shook his head.
“The lawyers won’t speak to us. And the police department doesn’t want to reopen the investigation when they’re so close to closing it. They don’t want to cause panic.”
She nodded. That actually wasn’t that hard a story to believe, considering the people she worked with on a daily basis. She just looked around the room.
“Okay… you might want to rethink my offer about the tea, then. And have a seat. Because this’ll take a long time.”
...
She presented them with a long list of documents. Some images, most legal papers. She pulled out the two things that were most of interest to her, a map of where the killings took place as well as a few images of supposed murder weapons.
“I’m not really sure what you’re looking for, so here's everything, I guess.”
Skully started flipping through the legal papers, reading passages of the man’s confession. Y/n’s cat slipped under Skully’s arms and laid on her lap as she continued to read. Mulder took a keen eye to the map.
“When did these murders take place?”
“Um, September 14th through February 10th, sir.”
“And he moved here the day these murders started, correct?”
“C-c-correct. You… didn’t already know this?”
“Oh I did. I just wanted to make sure you did. Encyclopedic knowledge of a case is the sign of a good paralegal, don’t you think?”
“Oh!” She let out an embarrassed chuckle. “Thanks…”
“Tell me, Y/n. What do you think happened?”
“Well, the evidence clearly shows he’s guilty, so… we are going to be arguing that he did these crimes due to mania and insanity.”
“No, Y/n. What do you really think?”
She looked down, and started to get finicky. She sat up straight.
“I think he’s innocent… and I have a theory about what happened. But… I don’t think anyone would believe me.”
Skully raised an eyebrow.
“Why haven’t you brought it up with any of the defense attorneys?”
She looked away, then back at the both of them.
“You won’t… tell anyone, right? I don’t wanna lose my job because everyone thinks I’m crazy.”
Mulder nodded expectantly.
“Of course not. Now, what did you find?”
She flipped through the papers.
“While they were at his house… they found a lot of these DVDs.” She was somewhat mumbling under her breath. When she pulled out the image she presented it to Mulder. “I’ve looked them up and they’re all from a lesser known hypnotist.”
Mulder read the bottom of the DVD covers.
“Hannah Martin?”
“...yes. I’ve tried to find those specific DVDs myself, on her website or Amazon or whatnot, but, uh, I can’t find them.”
“Why do you find these significant?”
“Um… Skully, was it? May I please have the written interview?”
She handed it to her. Now that her hands were free, Skully began to pet the cat sitting on her legs, who purred in appreciation. She cleared her throat and began to read.
“Bill said ‘I moved to start a new life, I tried to smile every day, I helped my neighbors, I listened to hypnosis videos every night before bed to make me a better person. I did my best to turn my life around… but I guess I was a monster this whole time. Last night, my memories came back to me in my dreams. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…’”
Mulder nodded.
“So you think that the hypnosis videos he watched before bed may have mind controlled or influenced him into committing these crimes overnight?”
Her face began to turn red and a wave of feeling stupid hit her.
“I’m sorry! I know that sounds insane!”
“No, not to me.” She was in awe. He was actually entertaining her insane supernatural idea? “How far have you looked into this Hanna Martin?”
“You have to pay at least five-hundred dollars for her to create a hundred and fifty custom sessions to send to you personally through DVDs. Um, the first alleged murder was one hundred and forty-nine days before the last alleged murder. That day he confessed would be day one hundred and fifty.”
Mulder seemed incredibly interested. He gazed down at the image he was holding.
“Thank you for bringing this information to my attention. Can you please scan this and make a copy for me? I want to see if I can track down these DVDs.”
“O-okay!”
She was a little excited that her idea was being entertained. And, aside from that, this agent was very cute! So he was cute and as conspiracy crazy as she was?! She smiled like a dope when she was no longer being watched, her back to the two. She began making the copy.
“Another question for you, Y/n.”
She gulped. Something about this man saying her name made her stomach drop.
“Y-yeah…?”
“Do you go out at night often?”
The feeling of her stomach dropping was now from fear.
“What do you mean?”
“I saw your car parked outside the local drugstore late last night, any reason for it?”
She swallowed, hard. She was going for ulterior motives, but she was relieved she had something to fall back on.
“I was getting my medication. Um, I can show you if you want proof?”
“There’s no need to. But midnight is fairly late to be running errands like that, don’t you think?”
She breathed in.
“I couldn’t sleep. So I thought I might as well do something productive.”
He nodded. She turned to look at him, but she couldn’t quite read his face. Was he insinuating what she thought he was? Or was this all in her head? If he thought she was involved, he was probably crazy. She just laid out all this evidence to prove her client innocent, and possibly even helped point to the real killer, yet he thought she might be the guilty one?
“Did you happen to purchase anything from this hypnotist?”
“No, I don’t have that kind of money… and besides, i-if I am right, I don’t know if I would want to get anything from her.”
“Mhm.”
Her dopey smile and blush was gone by the time she handed the copied image to Mulder.
“I’m not sure about the legality of this…”
“Don’t worry. I’ll deal with it.”
She was a bit angry when they left. B/f/n was a bit confused walking in.
“What happened?”
“Ugh! The stupid FBI is involved in the case now. They wanted to see some stuff.”
She tilted her head to the side and her nose crinkled in disbelief.
“The FBI?”
“I don’t know either! Just… help me pick up these papers. Actually, don’t! I need to make sure they’re all in order before court in a few days!”
She nodded as Y/n began to put everything as they were supposed to be.
“...that guy was kind of cute.”
She sighed.
“I thought that, too. But actually, he’s a dick.”
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staysaneathome · 3 years
Text
That Day (Afternoon)
(I made another part of that Entity swap WIP, this time with 90% more Melanie King and 30% more Basira Hussain, enjoy) Jon initially had no inkling that this day was going to be substantially different from any other.
Admittedly, there were some differences from his usual day-to-day roamings, but none that hadn’t been true of other days. He was a whole year older, as the Watcher informed him three weeks after his twelfth birthday, but that was ages ago now and he really didn’t feel any different between twelve and eleven.
The Collection was back in town, but he’d managed to avoid them so far, sometimes by the skin of his teeth. Somehow he continued to escape The Man’s prying gaze and the searchers who roamed the streets, some cognizant, some…not. He wondered if the Watcher allowed him to roam free because his status as The Recorder meant it liked him more than the Man, somehow.
Martin hadn’t been at the park for the past fortnight or so, though he’s promised to visit again as soon as he could the last time he was there.  So he could be forgiven of thinking that this day would be no more significant than the last.
And then he spots an eight-year-old girl toddling after one of the searchers.
She’s tall in the way that suggests she’ll be small later in life, with sparkly hair bobbles and the kind of clothes that come from Marks & Spencer or John Lewis or the other too big, too clean stores where the shop people glare at Jon as he goes past.
She’s asking questions of the searcher (who used to be known as Diana, but has lost what made a lot of her her in the flux and flow of information that The Man commands her to find). Questions like, “what do you know about the ghosts I saw on my holiday” and “why is everything so annoying now” and “why are you holding my hand so tight, it hurts” and “are you sure my daddy won’t mind, because he said he was only going to be gone for five minutes” and “hey, are you even listeningto me, you said you’d listen to me?!”
She’s only little, and she hasn’t lived that long, hasn’t got as many stories in her yet. But she’s had an Encounter with one of the Fourteen, and that called the searcher to her like moths to a flame.  Now the searcher’s taking the little girl back to The Collection, where The Man will Ask her about it.  And that will be the End of her.
Jon should turn around and walk away.  It’s sad, but this has happened millions of times, to millions of other people other than this one girl Jon had the misfortune of seeing. He’s so very incredibly lucky he hasn’t been found and dragged back yet, it’d be stupid to give it all up now. He can’t compromise his own safety for someone he doesn’t even know. He needs to turn around and walk away, see if Martin’s waiting at the park for him.
He’s going to turn around. Right now. Right now. Right. Now. Now. Now.
Now!
Jon has never been the largest child. Even when living with his grandmother and getting three square meals a day plus snacks, he’s always remained small and birdlike and bony. He’s not like Martin, who looks like he’d be soft and huggable, or Tommy, who was solid and square when he pushed Jon and stole his books.
But somehow he manages to barrel into the searcher’s arm and rip the little girl up and away with all the strength in his small body.
Of course, that’s when the girl begins trying to claw his eyes out.
“LET ME GO!!” She screams, wriggling so hard Jon almost drops her as he’s trying to run back across the busy road, car horns blaring around them. “WHO ARE—WHAT ARE—PUT ME DOWN RIGHT NOW OR I'LL BITE YOUR NOSE OFF, I SWEAR, I SWEAR I WILL!!”
”Stop MOVING!” He yells back at her once he’s safely hit pavement. “The searcher’s going to catch us both otherwise! I’m saving your life!!”
“I DIDN'T ASK YOU TO, YOU STUPID UGLY HEAD!!” The little girl shrieks back.
Jon considers dropping her and booking it himself for a single moment.
But the searcher’s coming for them, and now she’s seen him too, her pace quickening as the knowledge of how much the Man wants his prized Recorder back resonating in her skull until it overrides even basic instincts of pain and survival.
So Jon grits his teeth as the little girl in his arms tears into his shoulder with her sharp little nails and hauls her with him down the street as fast as he can go.
The Watcher tells him the bus pulling up to the station in front of them has a camera that’s faulty on the second level. There are two family groups that are going from sniping at each other to outright exchanging verbal blows over who deserves to get on first, the parents going red in the face with spittle flying from their mouths and the children pulling faces and calling names as the overworked and underpaid bus driver tries to keep order.
It’s easy for Jon to duck through them and drag the girl up the bus stairs with him, as the conflict below devolves into an outright brawl that masks the eight-year-old’s protests.  The bus doors slam shut, and the bus pulls away amidst the yelling and fighting outside.
Jon sags down in the seat on the relatively empty second level. The only other person seems to be a teenager slumped down across the very back seats far away from them, eyes shut and white headphone wires trailing out from under their hijab.
He stares out of the window at the searcher, whose figure is quickly vanishing as the bus picks up speed and merges into the London traffic.
”Okay.” He exhales, loosening his grip on the little girl’s collar. “I think we’re safe.”
The little girl whirls around.  Her teeth snap shut an inch away from his nose.
Jon presses himself against the window. “What is wrong wi—hey! Stop it!!”
“No!” The girl yells back. “That lady was gonna tell me why everything is being so annoying, all the time now and how to make it stop, so I can be happy again, and you, you went and ruined it!!” She’s still flailing, still trying furiously to claw him open, but there’s a frustrated edge to her voice and tears brimming in her eyes.
”I did not!” Jon protests vehemently, trying to keep a grip on her so she doesn’t give him anymore scratches like the one trickling blood down his arm. “She didn’t want to help you! She just wanted to take you back and make you tell your story so the Collection could eat up your life!”
”Liar! How would you know?!” The girl accuses, one of her sparkly hair-bobbles coming undone.
”Because that’s what they tried to do to me.” Jon hisses. “But they didn’t eat all of me, just…just made me into something like them. A monster that eats stories.”
The girl actually pauses for a moment to digest this.
“Are you going to try to eat me, then?” She asks, warily, arms tensing again. “If you’re a monster like that lady.”
”Of course not!” Jon scoffs, then adds, “Eating someone yucky like you would make me sick.”
The little girl goes bug-eyed and she tears her arms out of his grip to cross them over her chest ”I would not! You take that back!”
”No.” Jon says gleefully, then immediately regrets it when the little girl kicks him in the shin. “Ow! Stop that!”
”You started it.” The girl replies moodily, shifting to sit down in the seat properly and swing her legs.
Jon finally turns away to inspect the damage he’s sustained, pulling his shirt away from his arm and hissing as it makes his shoulder burn with pain. The Watcher tells him he needs to disinfect the cuts and maybe have a few stitches if he wants it to not get worse, but he can’t exactly get those easily where he is right now.
”If you’re a monster, why do you bleed like a normal person?” The girl pipes up behind him. Her eyebrows are furrowed.
”Why do you care?” He mutters, shooting her a dirty look.
The girl puffs out her chest, which looks a little odd, given that she’s now sitting on her hands. “I’m gonna be a ghost hunter when I’m grown up. Like in that one movie, but I’ll be even cooler and have a magic sword instead of a weird gun, and I’ll beat up all the ghosts and monsters on my own, except the nice ones, because they’ll be my friends. I’m Melanie, by the way. What’s your name? Do monsters have names?”
”Yes.” Jon replies. He enjoys the silence for a moment.
Melanie’s cheeks puff out like a pufferfish as she glares at him. “Okaay, so what’s your name?”
”Jon.” Jon says curtly.
”That’s not a very good name for a monster.” Melanie informs him.
”I wasn’t always a monster.” Jon tells her sourly. “Just like you.” The little girl doesn’t ask him many more questions for a long time after that.
”What are you looking at?” Melanie says suddenly as the bus is slowing to its fourth stop since they got on.
Jon twists away from the window. “I’m just trying to see if the searcher’s followed us—”
”Not you.” Melanie replies impatiently. “You. What are you looking at?”
The back of Jon’s neck goes cold. He twists around slowly.
The teenager in the hijab isn’t slumped across the seats. She’s half-way to standing, and staring right at them. Her eyes are cold and intent.
They stay like that, frozen for a moment.
”Melanie, run!!” He screams.
Melanie throws herself towards the stairs as the teenager explodes into motion behind them. Jon can feel her fingers try to snag on the back of his shirt as he thunders down the stairs, only narrowly missing him as he half-falls the rest of the way down and pelts out the bus doors to the sound of the driver yelling indignantly.
One of Melanie’s sparkly bobbles has fallen out and her hair is drooping down as she turns to grab onto Jon’s hand while they run.
”Stop!” The teenager yells. “Hey!” She’s gaining on them.
Jon tries to Know where they can go to lose her, how they can escape, but the Watcher just gives him useless tidbits instead; that man with the skateboard there has undiagnosed intermittent explosive disorder, this lady jogging over up ahead served two tours as a nurse in her youth to pay for her medical degree, that young person with the pins on their bag here is coordinating a flash mob on his phone to protest—
“Go away already!” Melanie complains on a furious exhale, and kicks a discarded can in her path hard.
It rockets away from her, bounces off a rubbish bin, and somehow jams in between the wheels of the man’s skateboard. He yelps as he falls, but roars when the teenager chasing them runs directly into him without slowing down, rising to block her path. The lady jogging furrows her brow with alarm, and races forwards to put herself between what she sees as a hostile and a young civilian in need of her protection, inadvertently preventing the teenager from advancing in her attempts to diffuse the situation and keep the man from lashing out at her physically. The person on their phone looks up and sets their jaw, switching it to video record the conflict and grabbing the teenager back even further, acting as a shield and spit inflammatory accusations that do more to raise tempers and attract attention than to resolve anything.
Jon watches all this with rapt eyes, drinking it in until his hand is jerked hard and he almost falls over.
”C’mon!” Melanie yells, irritated and scared and guilty and angry, the mark of the Slaughter almost an audible note to her voice, her footsteps. “We need to get away from those creepy ladies, find somewhere to hide, where do we go?!”
To hide.  Jon tightens his grip on Melanie’s hand and changes their course slightly, heading towards a place he frequents regularly.
”Follow me,” He gasps, trying to ignore the stitch in his side. “I have a friend.”
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tailorvizsla · 4 years
Note
How about 9 "Did it mean anything to you? Did I mean anything to you?" & 10 "How was I such an idiot, to believe that you, out of all people, could ever love me?" or 23 "When did you stop loving me?" & 49 "I wish we never met" with Paz Vizla. Fuck me over like my student loans, fam.
Title: Aruetii Rating: R Wordcount: ~1800 Warnings: Angst. Author’s Notes: I don’t think I’ve done a lot of Paz Vizsla angst? Hope this hurts you the way you like, Anon.🧡🧡🧡
📚 My Master List 📚
Aruetii.
The word follows you everywhere you go within the confines of the Tribe’s home. The others have always called you aruetii, but you always thought it teasing and playful. Now, as you stand here in the doorway, a brittle smile on your face, you can hear the venom in their voices as they sneer down at you.
Outsider.
They are making it clear that you are not their family. That you never will be part of the intimate, loving relationships they share. Even your relationship with Paz cannot make up for the fact that you are an outsider. No matter how many times you’ve fought at his side and patched up his sorry shebs, you are not family. Automatically, you reach to embrace him as he comes up behind you.
Foreigner.
You falter, your fingers brushing against his cuirass. He hesitates to return your embrace, but he does not deny you. This time, at least. You’ve looked after his children. Looked after his family. Warmed his bed. And now he’s done with you. His hands rest lightly at your waist, as if steadying you on a ladder. It lacks the usual affection, the desperation when he presses himself to you and lets his hands wander all over your body. Desperately, you try to think of something else, of something to forestall the inevitable, but your brain fails you. You know the other half of your heart and soul.
Paz has decided he no longer has a use for you.
And nothing will change his mind.
-
That night, after you’ve tucked the children into bed, he goes in to say goodnight. Paz doesn’t even bother waiting until you’re out of hearing range before calling you the aruetii dala. You grimace, but you say nothing, continuing forward to finish tidying up after yourself. This room – the place you had once seen as your home – is now stifling and choking. Everything just feels so wrong, like everything has been moved by a few inches or like the colors aren’t quite what they should be.
When he puts his hand on your shoulder, you flinch. He jerks away, so you know he registers it. You don’t say anything and neither does he.
What would be the point?
-
The next morning, you wake up cold and alone. In the past, Paz had woken you up with kisses and cuddles. Sometimes he would bring you kaff if he had the time. Those were faint memories now. Sighing, you sit up. You can feel him on your ribs, your thighs, inside you. That was one thing that had not stopped, you think wryly to yourself, as you get to your feet. At least the sex is still enjoyable.
Idly, you think you’ll need to start packing your things so you can leave and pretend this had never happened.
“Hey,” Paz rumbles out as you start dressing for the day.
“Hey,” you respond, not looking at him. “Did you need something?”
“Can we talk?”
Here it is. He’s going to end things. A small part of you wants to cry. The rest of you just feels disgust. Disgust with yourself for deluding yourself into believing he would ever want you. Disgust with him at how easily he had involved your – his, they are his – children in this mess, that he had allowed you to be their mother when he never had the intentions of making it true.
“Sure,” you say, turning to him. “What is it?”
“I wanted to ask what your intentions are,” he says. “About our…relationship.”
You don’t miss the way he hesitates to say relationship, his tone filled with an undercurrent of trepidation. You keep calm, your thoughts racing. You take a deep breath to steady yourself, to try and will yourself to forget the smiles and laughter your little clan of five had once shared here.
“Did you ever want something permanent, Paz?” you dare to ask.
“What do you mean?” he asks.
At the hesitancy in his voice, you realize he knows that you know.
“Was this all just a farce?” you whisper tremulously, eyes filling with tears.
Fuck, you promised yourself you wouldn’t cry. That you wouldn’t give him that satisfaction of knowing that he had completely fooled you. You swallow around the knot in your throat and grit your jaw. It’s just a breakup, you remind yourself. Plenty of partners had broken up with you in the past. You had broken up with plenty of them. This is no different, even if it feels like you are losing a piece of yourself.
“What are you talking about?” he asks, taking a half-step back, as if to distance himself from the pain he has caused you.
“Paz, you’ve changed,” you say. “You treat me like you don’t care anymore. Why? What did I do?”
“Look. You haven’t done anything. I do care about you, but this relationship…I’m not sure where it can go.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that from the start?” you choke out.
“It’s complicated. You’re…” He falters. “You’re – “
“Aruetii,” you finish bitterly. “I know that. Don’t you think I hear people muttering it at me every single day?”
“Then you understand,” he says softly.
“No, Paz, I genuinely don’t. Why did you bring me here in the first place?”
He doesn’t respond as you press forward.
“Why did you let me think you loved me?”
He jerks back at that accusation. He inhales and exhales, shaking his head.
“We just have differences, and I’m not sure how we can overcome them if you’re aruetii.”
“Did it mean anything to you?” you ask. “Did I mean anything to you?”
He looks taken aback by your words.
“You mean something to me,” he says. “I cherish our relationship. I just think we need to take a step back – “
“You called me outsider instead of my name last night,” you say. “Be honest with me, Paz. Please.”
“I care about you. I really do,” he says. “But like we have established, you are an outsider. I’m not sure this is the right path for either of us.”
You thought your heart had been broken a long time ago, but those words shatter you into a million tiny pieces. Two years by his side, raising his children, looking after his family, using your skills to ensure you could provide for them. And this is how it ends? With his uncertainty about the future the two of you had been fantasizing about just weeks ago?
“When did you stop loving me?”
He doesn’t respond. He looks away. It hits you like a fist to the gut.
He has never loved you. Your stomach roils violently, leaving you feeling light-headed and sick.
“How was I such an idiot? To believe that you, out of all people, could ever love me?” you ask bitterly.
He flinches, as if you had reared back and slapped him. Your eyes well up as you silently plead for him to say something, to tell you he’s made a mistake, that he loves you. But you know better than to hope for anything else. Paz Vizsla has never changed his mind once he has come to a decision.
“I think it would be best to end this discussion.”
You nod in response, your eyes shutting. You wipe the tears off your cheeks.
“Yeah,” you say hoarsely. “I agree.”
He stares at you for several moments in silence. You give him a wry smile. Then you turn back to the bag you had brought your things in. Paz tilts his helmet.
“What are you doing?” he asks.
“Packing my things, Paz,” you respond softly.
“You don’t need to leave.”
You continue putting your things into the bag, leaving everything he has ever given you where it sits.
“Please stay,” Paz says, placing his hand over yours.
Hot anger and disgust fill you. You jerk your hand back from his.
“You’ll have to find someone else to warm your bed.”
He sighs.
“Cyare – “
“Don’t call me that,” you snap at him.
“Can you please just listen to what I have to say?”
“You got everything you wanted,” you say. “At least one of us is happy, right?”
“That isn’t fair.”
“You don’t get to tell me what is and is not fair,” you say to Paz. “You wasted two years of my life, Paz. I wish I had never met you.”
He looks at you, inhaling sharply.
“Do you mean that?” he asks quietly.
“This,” you say, gesturing at the space between your bodies. “This was all just a lie, wasn’t it?”
Paz takes a half-step back at the vitriol in your voice. He stares at you for several long seconds, his hands tight at his sides. Then he turns around and walks out of the room, confirming your suspicions. He has never loved you. He never will. Numbly, you finish packing what little property you had to your name when you first came here. You keep some of the warm clothes he had given you – you figure you can claim it as payment for everything you have done for him. Hefting your bag over your shoulder, you look around the room.
This place had once been your home, your shelter away from the outside world. This was the place where you had first seen his face and kissed his lips. This was the place where you had celebrated pregnancies and their subsequent losses. This was the place where you had helped him raise his three children. This was the place where you had planned to raise more warriors with him. It was all just a lie, a lie that he had driven straight into your heart like a knife.
You step out of the room, bag across your chest, holding your head high. Stepping out of the tribe’s home, you glance around. Town is a few hours on foot, but you have no other way of getting away from Paz and the lies he had filled your head with. You start walking, making mental lists of things you need to do now. Secure work, find lodgings, figure out if your bank code is still working. You need to find a new home, one safer than this place, since you are alone now.
Well, not completely alone.
Your hand drifts down to your midsection. Fourteen weeks into gestation, you are not even showing yet, and you are deathly afraid that something is going to happen to the baby. After all the losses you experienced in the past two years, you know this one is the one who is going to make it. This is the one you will finally name and hold in your arms. This baby is going to survive, just like you.
You survived before Paz. You survived him. You’ll survive what comes next.
You don’t need him.
-
-
-
*pats bench* @hdlynn @princessbatears Y’all want some hurt? lol
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