#god i cant believe i may have met a guy who's as slow as me JDJDJDDJDJDDJDJDJD | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

babbling-idiot · 2 months

Note

Can you please do hc's of Shepherd (would you rather), Herbert West, Johnathan (evil clergymen), Crawford (from beyond) and any other Jeffrey Combs character with a s/o who is non binary and also emo/alt?

(When you said emo/alt I assume you meant the clothing style? I hope that's right or else I'll feel like a real dumbass. I'm ignorant to some things so please excuse me if I have it all wrong.)

Shepard Lambrick:

First off lets just start with the fact that he loves your style

He loves you in general

He doesn't mind that your nonbinary

He is probably one of the few people you could go to about your problems

Especially when you are having a hard time with your clothing choices

He doesn't want you to feel intimidated by the game

He would love it for you to come and watch one of these times but doesn't want to pressure you on it

If you do decide to join him one night he would be ecstatic

He would introduce you to the group and to Julian

Julian is very understanding of you in general but since Julian is an asshole, he doesn't talk to you or anyone for that matter

Shepard hates this and will "force" Julian to communicate with you and everyone around

He does it out of love

Herbert West:

Loves that you don't care about what people think

He too could care less about other people

He does on an odd level trust you with every bit of information he has

He barley trusts Dan with every smidge of info he has

But its a great thing

He is one of those boyfriends that will kill someone for looking at you odd or saying something wrong

He will do that, put their eyes or tongue in a box with a bow and present it to you like it's his greatest accomplishment

Has a love for you that would outdo any famous poet

Like Shepard he does not mind you being non binary, as long as you are happy

Jonathan:

Took him a second to understand what non binary was he is with you 100%

He likes your style though

He is really into the style and would love to see all of it

Thinks you are a work of art to be honest, he fully believes you were sent to him for a reason and you make him such a better person

He literally worships the ground you walk on

Would do anything you asked him to

Though he may have offed himself he still says things like "Death could not keep me away from you."

Calls you sweetheart, darling, hun

A whole bunch of different pet names

Dr Vannavutt:

He is old

He is slow to understanding what exactly non binary is

You have to explain it slowly, word by word

He does eventually get it

Just have mercy on him, he's an old man

He loves seeing people evolving into independent people

Becoming what you feel inside and he supports that shit

Honestly would love it if you could explain everything to him one of these day

Like all of the different genders people are

He would love to learn all of them so he can have all the info

So he can at least be on the same level, at least generationally

Thinks the clothing is odd though

He does get it but its not his favorite but definitely likes it on you

Thinks you are beautiful and thinks that you are the only one that can pull the style off

My god he has so much to learn, so much has changed its gonna make his head spin

John Reilly:

He loves it all

He is just so hypnotized by you

He cant explain the feeling he has

But he can explain in detail how much he loves you

You being non binary and having the style you have is just icing on the cake

He just wants you and you being who you are and being able to express it in your own way makes him swoon for you over and over again

He's an old fashioned kind of guy, so expect doors to be opened, candlelit dinners, walks in the park (literally), and hand kisses

He loves being cliché and finds it absolutely beautiful when you blush at one of his actions

Milton Dammers:

Let's be serious here, he was horrified of you the first time he saw you

Your style scared him but the second he met you and talked to you he was in love

He knows you are non binary and loves that

You are always so patient with him and he loves that

He believes that throughout his career that every moment has lead to him meeting you

Now has the want to make you happy all the time

So don't be shocked if you find a home cooked meal

And yes he burnt it once before because he is used to the microwave

He really likes it when you take him with you on shopping sprees

He never gets himself anything he just loves watching you get excited about clothing and the joy that crosses your face when you find a good piece

It honestly gives him immense joy watching you be happy

#herbert west headcanon #milton dammers headcanon #john reilly headcanon #dr vannacutt headcanon #jonathan headcanon #shepard lambrick headcanon #would you rather #house on haunted hill #the frighteners #reanimator #evil clergymen #castle freak

4 notes · View notes

staycult · 4 years

Text

highschool!jisung as your boyfriend

pairing — gender neutral reader x jisung

genre — fluff / bullet scenario / friends to lovers

word count — 1.6k

enjoy!

u and jisung had been friends for quite some time now

ever since highschool started probably

u guys were in the same friend group

you were always with him during lunch

and u guys go home together bcs ure practically neighbors

“[y/n]! smile!” he said as he pulled out his favored polaroid camera

as you were about to turn your head around you heard a loud click, coming from the camera

a flash of light blinded your eyes

so you tried to cover it

“hey! i wasnt ready!” you pouted, giving jisung a light slap in the arm

he stuck his tongue out to mock your reaction and pulled out the film from his camera

“you look ugly” jisung snorted, fanning the film

“shut up and start moving!” you rolled your eyes and grabbed his hand to make him walk faster

bcs guys were about to go home

“do you want to stop by at the park first?” jisung offered

ofc u cant resist him

his presence always make u feel at ease

“buy me ice cream then let’s go” you bargained, earning an eye roll from him

“Two ice cream cones please!” you requested, giving the money to the cashier. you tapped your finger on the cold surface while your other armed propped your chin. jisung on the other hand was shuffling through his notebook filled with polaroid pictures that he took with your friends.

“stop staring at my pictures, ji” you laughed while grabbing your cone from the man in front of you and giving the other cone to jisung. “keep staring and you’ll fall for me” you added as you licked your ice cream. he clicked his teeth, “ew, you wish”

both you and jisung walked around the park, still in your school uniforms. the park is the place where you and your friends hang around when you guys have time. the slide and the swing are your most favorite part.

you sat down in the swing and tapped the other seat to motion jisung to sit down as well. “look, the sun is setting!” you pointed as you finished your cone. you looked over to jisung who was his camera pointed at you for the nth time. but this time, you managed to strike a pose in front of his polaroid camera. his cheeks can be seen from behind, obviously smiling at the sight.

days went by

you and jisung had been hanging out in the park swing almost every day

just the both of you

watching the sunsets and taking pictures

you noticed that he only takes random pictures of you but when youre with friends, they need to ask first before jisung would take a picture

he claims that your face is funnier with stolen shots

ofc u believed him

he is your best friend after all

the school year is about to end

and your music and arts teacher is talking about your final project

which was to write a song or poem, draw a portrait or make a poster

with a special meaning behind it

you almost ripped your hair out of frustration when you tried to compose a song or draw

so u went for a simple poster

you and your friends were comparing your final outputs in the cafeteria

“come on, show us yours!” your friends encouraged you

“ahh, it’s really ugly im not even good at these kinds of shit!” you cursed, showing it to them anyway

“seriously? it’s good! youre like jisung. god, both of you say you did bad but it’s not!” you friend said while eyeing your poster

“really? jisung i want to see yours!” you said while grabbing some of your friend’s food

“no” he said, sticking a tongue out to mock you

“why not?” you replied while pouting

both of you bickered for atleast 3 minutes

saying lots of ‘no’s’ and ‘why not’s’

he had enough of your shit

and pulled you out of the cafeteria

holding his notebook, backpack and a ukelele

jisung was grabbing you by your wrist until you arrived at the school’s rooftop. you didn't have the time to respond at his sudden action.

“ouch! what was that about?” you said once he lets go of your wrist. “you want me to show you my output right? well here it is. listen.”

you were taken aback by his words, did he really get annoyed by your previous bickering? and why are we on a roof top anyway????

jisung grabbed his ukelele and opened his notebook, which was filled with polaroid pictures of you that was taken over the school year and years before that.

“it’s called hello stranger,” he spoke and started strumming on his ukelele

“The moment I felt like our eyes met

my body moved all on its own

Movin’, movin’, movin’, movin’, movin’

The closer we get the more I think

about what it is I’m feeling

My mind is filled with question marks

I can’t see anyone

around us anymore, you’re just growing more clear

Everything on this road

is blurred and faded out except for you

I’m filled with nothing but curiosity about who you may be

It’s like I’m approaching you drawn by something I can’t even know

I won’t beat around the bush, my subconscious is pushing straight forward

having me walk as it pleases without a single thought

Ah, a new wind is blowing

Where could it have come from?

It’s strange, but it’s not cold

Before I know it my feet are moving, following the wind

I take my hands out of my pockets

Hello Stranger, I keep being drawn to you

Growing closer

to you without a single thought

I’m curious, more and more and more as time passes,

why am I like this? Who are you to do this to me?

Stranger

Nana nanana nana

Closer

Hello Stranger, who are you to do this to me?

I can see in you the things that I myself am lacking

I try yelling out to you the things I had just yelled into empty space

The things I didn’t have, that I was missing before I met you,

all of these feelings, every moment

my mind is filled with exclamation points

I can’t see anyone

around us anymore, you’re just growing more clear

Everything on this road

is blurred and faded out except for you

Something’s different about you, but I’m not sure what

I think the light approaching me now must be you

Even if I look away I can still see your afterimage,

you never leave my sight, who are you to do this to me?

Ah, my feet are moving, following this new wind

I take my hands out of my pockets

Hello Stranger, I keep being drawn to you

Growing closer

to you without a single thought

I’m curious, more and more and more as time passes,

why am I like this? Who are you to do this to me?

i love you”

it’s been weeks since you and jisung last spoke and since his sudden confession

you were about to tell him how you felt, too

how he makes you happy these past few days

to the point where you were falling for him too

but he ignored you

was it because he felt awkward?

or scared?

confusion was taking over you

and you know damn well youre gonna have to take measures into your own hands

so you came up with a plan to atleast get him to talk to you

“come on! just say i wont be there” you begged your friend. “fine. so roof top it is?” you squealed and gave your friend a hug. plan was to make your friends invite jisung at the same place he confessed on only to see youre the only one there

you grabbed your backpack since you had a vacant class and went to the rooftop to prepare. you knew jisung had a vacant class too, so you were hopeful he’s going to drop by.

“hi, i like you too” you practiced “no, too awkward” you ran your hands through your hair in frustration. “hey jisung! will you vincent van gogh out with me?” you repeated with hand motions this time. “god no” you mentally slapped yourself because of the cringe

“jisung, i like yo-” you repeated. you felt someone hug you from behind, “you do?” his husky voice sent shivers down to your spine as he hugged you even tighter.

“i-i do” you admitted, removing his arms so you can face him properly. “i really really do, i cant stand you not talking to me.” you burried your head to the crook of his neck.

“im sorry, baby. i didnt know how to handle rejection yet” he let out a low laugh, earning a laugh from you too. he snaked his arms around you and swayed you back and forth. humming the tune of the song he composed.

“youre mine now, are you?” he spoke, kissing your forehead as you gave him a nod.

bf jisung would mean

A VERY PLAYFUL RELATIONSHIP

SERIOUSLY

the confession may be soft and cuddly

but after like 2 days

yall are like best friends again

but with a mixture of sweetness

things never really changed

but you were still glad

love letters and songs !!!!!

lots and lots of kisses

cheek, forehead, chin, shoulder kisses

you name it

he would gently cup your face while doing so

he likes teasing you

but u tease him back

ends up with him being all pouty

will help u out with homework

ice cream and park swing dates

would literally take polaroid pictures of both of you

the ones he took before yall got together is displayed in his room

on the back of his phone

and the rest, he keeps it in his notebook

which was filled with songs about you

will sing you to sleep

will hold your hand literally every where

“baby, im the luckiest to have you”

author's note —

just imagine it's the slow version of hello stranger ok ALSO i want jisung to be my bf like ??

129 notes · View notes

hitsuackerman · 4 years

Text

Unpredictable (Overhaul x Reader) pt.19

a/n: so... uhh... nothing much happens here but the last part is worth it :’) i guess? hope ya’ll like this nonetheless!

warnings: this cannot be read solo

Links: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12, part 13, part 14, part 15, part 16, part 17, part 18, part 20

Masterlist to my other fics: here :)

Overhaul’s waiting list: @jjk-biased @infinite-universe-love @dirtypride @blackymomo03 @azzie @purple-rabanito @meximorrita @awesomeee19 @celestial-kanzakii @laure-lo @team-wang-puppy @aydience-world @choros-main-hoe @colorseeingchick @but-kairis-not-that-smart (i cant seem to tag again :( hope this lands in your timelines!)

Two days since that fated encounter with Chronostasis, you were now left with a vacant rest day. And where better place to spend it than with Dr. Hanayaka. Setting an appointment with him, as he liked to call it, you were tasked to help with the blood pressure for each patient he had. Luckily, his schedule wasn’t that straining.

“So you mean to say, his henchman met with you in secret?” Gei asked and raised an eyebrow. With his stethoscope resting on his shoulder and white coat on, it was sometimes hard to believe that this flamboyant man was a well respected doctor. “And handed you trash man’s sim card?”

“Yeah. I’ve already checked the contents of the sim and there’s not a lot to go on.” Aside from your messages, the contents of his inbox were that of an average man’s. Expecting some tea about his trade or even important numbers of other villains, you had to think whether or not Chrono deleted some or not.

“And what about that plan of yours, hmm?” Gei fixed his eyelashes before staring back at you. “What if it backfires and Chrono takes the blame?”

“He won’t. My instructions were clear and I set a time frame as well. Just something to please the heroes for setting me up.”

“You movin over to the dark side, baby girl?”

“Just balancing things out.” You shrugged. “Levi made it clear that they shouldn’t interfere with my relationship with Overhaul. Even though I’m on justice’s side, I still want to tip the scales a bit due to personal reasons.”

“Wouldn’t your badge and title be removed if they found out? And why in Todrick’s name are you so chill with this topic?! Are you certain you don’t have a bug on you?” Your friend eyed you down so quickly. Worried that policemen might end up barging inside his office.

“Don’t worry. I’m wearing new clothes so there’s no way they can. Besides, I’m being as cautious as ever. Seriousness aside, I do have some information you might want to feast on.” You smirked at the mental image of a maskless Chrono.

“Spill…” Gei shifted in his seat and leaned in closer. The look on your face only meant one thing.

“Okay, so Overhaul’s right hand man was the one who met me right? Well~ He took off his mask and I will have to admit the man looked hella fine~”

“Describe! Describe!”

“For starters, he has bluish-gray eyes. Though he looks like he wants to kill a person right there and then, he probably could since his jaw was rather prominent. His voice without the mask is different too.” You watched as Gei listened with such focus. “But, if I were to be honest, describing him doesn’t do him good. He looks really handsome.”

“Why is it always the villains who look good?” Gei commented with a pout. “Hawks aside, because that man is something else, but they just hit different you know?”

“That’s true. Shame they have to wear those masks, though.”

“On the contrary, I think it’s good that they do. Otherwise they’d have to endure the wrath of fan girls.”

“Right. Also feels good when they trust you enough to show what’s behind the mask.” Nodding at your own statement, the memory of having lunch with Overhaul came back. With no given warning, he took off his mask and casually drank water. Realizing that he had done it on purpose, a tiny smile formed on your mouth.

“If you miss him that bad, just call him.”

“He changed numbers and I’m not that desperate to ask Chrono for it. Nao said in due time he’ll contact me but the chances of that are negative.”

“Honey, it’s the modern era. Women aren’t as shy as they were before. If you want something, go and get it. If it is a guy’s new number, then go ahead. It’s not just men who make the first move. And besides, I think Overhoe would be surprised if you just suddenly ring his doorbell.”

“You do realize, I do not have the same confidence as you.”

“Fake it till you make it, boo.” He snapped his fingers in a z-formation.

“You’ve been watching Soopernatural again, haven’t you?”

“Okay, first off, Jenred Padackles is a god and I would worship his feet. Second, that show has references to everything and you can’t deny that.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Standing up from the sofa, you stretched your limbs. “Anyway, I gotta scram.”

“Where you headin’ off to missy?”

“I have to meet up with Nao regarding the Fukuo Kai case.”

“But it’s your day off. Get a life and do something else other than work, (n/n).” Gei threw a pen to your direction but you dodged it effortlessly. “Don’t make me tell your father.”

“It’s only for a few minutes. It’s in preparation for tomorrow.” Not bothering to wait, you exited the room and sofly closed the doors to his office. Time spent with Gei was always an eye opener. However, it still wasn’t enough for you to stoop so low and ring his doorbell.

Making your way out of the hospital, you took a quick stop to the vending machines and chose a cold cafe au lait. Perfect for the hot and humid weather Japan had to offer. Feeling the cold liquid running down your throat was amazing and within seconds, you downed the whole drink. Tossing the empty bottle to the recycle bin, a gust of wind caused you to lose balance.

“Oh no.”

“Oh yes.”

“I have a meeting to attend to Hawks.” Hawks took his visors off and ruffled his wings. Offering to buy him a drink, he chose a tetra pack of apple juice. Walking to the vacant bench, you followed him and decided that perhaps his visit would be worth it. “So what did the bird hear today?”

“Twice and Toga Himiko.”

“League of-” Then it hit you. “I see. Since when?”

“Yesterday. One of my informants saw them entering the base and left late at night. They didn’t look too happy about it, though.” Lowering his headphones, he ruffled his hair and stared at the clear blue skies. “Do what you will with this information. Just thought I’d let you know.”

“How and why do you even bother?”

“I work for the HPSC dove. If I don’t want them getting in my head, I gotta kick their crotches first.”

“That’s not the best analogy.”

“Still works though.” He winked and put on his headphones and visors back. Standing up, he offered a hand and you accepted it. Tailing you, Hawks was now opening the door for your car. “And one more thing, another of my birdies caught the scent of the quirk erasing bullets nearing its completion stages. Probably 80% now.”

“That’s fast.” You had to admit.

“Heard he’s been pissed. Be careful baby bird.” Hawks closed your door and saluted before flying off.

80%? That was enough information to speed up the Shie Hassaikai raid. Reaching out for your bag, you took the burner phone you recently purchased and reread each message the both of you exchanged. With two League of Villains now part of the yakuza, the possibility of casualties was much higher now.

Within minutes, you were now on the road. Fingers tightly wrapping the steering wheel. Your thumb bouncing with growing guilt at choosing to hide what Hawks had just said. Of course this wasn’t to ensure his victory, it was to even the field, right? It was the pettiness taking over you and Nighteye going against his words. It had to be.

Turning towards the precinct, you saw your designated parking area. The basement parking was a bit crowded today.

Heading towards the meeting room Tsukauchi had prepared for the small info sharing, you greeted fellow coworkers and kept conversation till you disappeared around the corner. Not too long after, you were now fiddling with your fingers. Basking in the silence till the doors opened revealing your partner and Shinezu. Both men took their seats and commenced the meeting.

“So, Shinezu will be tagging along.” He nodded at your coworker who seemed to be trembling at the thought. “It’ll do you good, Shinez. Trust me.”

“I-I know, Tsukau-kun.” He adjusted his tie, loosening it a bit. “I just think I’m not cut out for this mission you know? I do better behind the scenes.”

“While I believe that’s true, the 4th division works best when you’re around.”

“That’s true.” You agreed. Shinezu may not be the most social cookie out there but his brain was close to Namase. He also had the knack of coming up with solutions when things went wrong. All he needed was to amp his social skills. “We all know the 4th division leader is weak for you.”

“Not t-true.”

“All too true. You’ll be fine, Shinez. Have I ever lied to you?”

When the raven-haired man finally nodded his head, Tsukauchi cleared his throat and relayed the plans for tomorrow. It was the standard undercover data gathering in your books.

“So, to recap, the 4th division will be handling the snooping and we’ll remain on guard should all else fail?” You repeated the information given. Tsukauchi scratched his chin and nodded. Confirming that you had fully understood his message. “All this should happen within 5 hours. Got it. That’s quite cramped but manageable.”

“5 hours was the only allotted time I could fit in.” He scratched his nape and looked away. “You were right when I had to take it slow with my cases.”

“I’m not one to comment~” Waving the conversation aside, you stood up and the others followed.

With the short meeting now over, Tsukauchi and you were now seated in the break room. Cups of coffee present as you exchanged more information about your days and current mission. For a brief moment, despite him not being a part of the Shie Hassaikai Raid, you wanted to pour every single information you had just gained from Hawks. The lingering guilt was much more present now.

“You’re spacing out.” He snapped his fingers in front of you. “You alright?”

“Aside from the growing problem of trashman, I’m fine. Just a lot on my mind.” Taking a sip from your coffee, the usual taste of bitterness was strong today. “Nothing to worry about~”

“You should go home, (n/n). I already took up a portion of your time. Any more and I might drown from embarrassment.”

“That’s gross. Even coming from you.” Kicking him from under the table, the two of you laughed before chugging the remaining drops of coffee. “I will take that offer though. Need me some beauty sleep before shit happens again. See ya!”

Hours had passed and you were now stuffing your face with chips. He was right when he said you had purchased too much but you weren’t complaining. The movie playing now was one of your favorites, Prisoner. Gake Jyllenhall was divine in this movie. It was always the twist of the movie that kept you watching it over and over again.

“I wonder if we had watched this… would the wall pinning happen?” You thought out loud. Shaking your thoughts away from him, you stopped the movie and stored the chips.

Now that you were settled in bed, Overhaul’s jacket rested on top of you. By now, his scent had disappeared and was now replaced by yours. Grabbing your phone, you opened the messaging app and clicked on a certain conversation. Rereading his messages was not the best idea but at least you would be able to relive whatever memories you had created.

Glancing at your desk calendar, in just two months time, you would meet him again. Would things still be the same? Or would things go back to the way they were? Tucking your phone under the unused pillow, you willed yourself to sleep and surprisingly succeeded.

Waking up not so refreshed happened again. But, nothing out of the ordinary. Not being a morning person, you dragged your body away from the bed and began the necessary clothes. Deciding to just buy breakfast, it took you less than an hour to lock your doors and head over to the parking lot.

Making your way up the steps, you met up with Shinezu.

“You look like shit, Shinez.” You teased him. “Take a chill pill.”

“I already did. But it’s still not working. This would be the first case in a while where I’ll interact with others.” Leading the way, the both of you were now walking through the empty hallways. The sounds of your footsteps muffled by the cheap carpeted floors. “How do you guys even manage to survive situations like these?”

“By taking it one step at a time~” Not the best advice for someone who’s socially challenged but it is what it is.

Opening the doors for you, the both of you entered the room and took your designated seats. A bunch of people from the 4th division were now present. Tsukauchi had not yet arrived but it was still early so it was excusable. Exchanging a few small talk, you caught up with what the 4th division was up to till the doors finally opened.

“Good morning everyone.” Tsukauchi greeted. Feet glued to his spot. His eyesight focused on you. “Before we head out, we have a special guest joining us.”

“Holy shit.” Shinezu uttered under his breath.

- - - - -

a/n: shits bout to go down again! I would like to take this time to thank each one of you who take the time to read this! Unpredictable was supposedly a 10 chapter story but we bout to reach 20 now! i cant really respond to your comments as much but i read all of ‘em and they always make my day :’) my schedule has just been very hectic these days huhu and yeas that ends my rant~ see ya’ll next week! :* and yes, the waiting list is still open :)

#overhaul x reader #overhaul #bnha overhaul #mha overhaul #chisaki kai x reader #bnha chisaki kai #mha chisaki kai #chisaki kai #bnha chisaki

65 notes · View notes

mwdders · 5 years

Text

MIA

Summary: Bucky goes missing whilst on a mission leaving you and your 6 month old daughter wondering where is, will he come home?

Warnings: death, swearing, violence

Word count: 3.6k

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader, Dad!Bucky x reader

This is my last non requested piece of writing before I start my requests that I have received.

Requests are open!

Enjoy!

— —

“Hi cutie.” You say as you reach down and pick the giggling baby up from her crib.

“Ooh you’re getting such a big girl.” You place her on your chest and bounce her up and down a bit. “You hungry? Yeah I think you’re hungry.” You walk from the bedroom and into the kitchen, heating her up a bottle. “We should feed you and then go for a walk, how does that sound?” She gurgles in response pulling a bit of hair from your bun. “Okay.” The microwave pings and you walk over to the sofa and reposition her in your arms ready to feed her.

She was 6 months old now so you had slowly started weaning her off being breast fed and moving onto bottles before solid food.

Her hands were wrapped around the bottle as she stared at you with her big brown eyes, something she’d inherited from you rather than her dad.

“After this baby we’ll go and see if your daddy is back, yeah?” She finishes her bottle and you pick her up, placing her lightly over your shoulder to pat her back and burp her.

While you burp her, you move around the room, placing her used bottle in the sink and then getting her a blanket to keep her warm.

“Alright angel, lets go.” You lay her on the bed before wrapping her in her blanket and picking her back up. She was so tiny to say she was 6 months old, you’d never seen a baby so small.

You leave the room and lock the door, “Miss Y/N, Tony wants you in the common room.” Friday sounds just as you’re leaving. “Thanks Friday.”

You make your way to the common room to see Tony and Steve.

“Hey guys.” They barley look at you, faces to the floor, “What’s going on?”

Tony gestures to the sofa, “Take a seat.” You do so, sitting down and repositioning Elisa so you can bounce her on your knees and keep her settled.

“Again, What’s going on?” Steve sits next to you as the confusion is evident on your face. He takes Elisa from you and holds her in his arms. “We er, there was a mission this morning, that me, Nat, Sam and Bucky went on.” You nodded, you knew this because Bucky woke the baby up as he was leaving and it took you ages to get her to stop crying.

“Well, things went south, Buck, he- he went rouge, we’ve lost all communication with him, we can’t track him, we have no clue where he is.” You listen to his words anxiously. “You lost my husband?” Steve’s head drops and he looks at the little girl in his arms as she plays with his fingers. “We’re doing everything we can to find him, we just wanted you to know that he’s missing, and we only have another 10 hours to find him before it becomes official.” You cough, “Where were you?” You rub your hands over your face, “South Carolina. A military operation went wrong and they wanted us to track rouges.” Pressing your fingers to your forehead, “He wouldn’t of just gone off, what the hell happened?” Elisa gurgles as she puts one of her hands in her mouth, “We thought it’d be better if me, Sam and Buck went with us all being ex officers we figured we’d understand the situation better, which worked at first but then one of the officers we were tracking disappeared so we split up and I found the officer and me and Sam met back up at the base but Bucky never came back, we waited hours for him, Sam even did an aerial search of the area but it was like he just vanished.” You purse your lips, “Where is Sam now?” You look at Elisa who is leaning against her god father, her fingers wrapped around his hand. “Still in South Carolina, he stayed as a precaution in case he came back but no luck. His com’s have been off since he disappeared too.” You just nod, “Tony, What’s the process now? We need to find him.” You stand up and walk over to him. “Don’t worry we will, we have intel going into the base, searching the area. The best agents will also be sweeping the area for forensics and anything that’ll lead us to him. Don’t worry we’ll find him.” He’s interrupted by Friday, “Mr Stark, the Secretary of State is in your office.” He excuses himself and leaves the room.

Steve stands up and walks over to you, “We’ll find him.” He hugs you, Elisa still in his arms as she grabs a fistful of your hair, you laugh as you fight back the tears and take the baby from his arms.

“I’m gonna go and call May, she if she can look after Elisa and then I’ll meet you in my office. I want to know everything, and anything about the mission and where he could be, you don’t leave out a single detail.” You leave the room and shut the door behind you as you walk to your room and cling to your daughter, you were so close to falling apart, how could he just disappear like that? Without a trance.

You call the baby sitter and she says she’ll be there in 10 minutes, you put Elisa in her crib, it was time for her afternoon nap anyway, so you set the baby monitor, but you also alert Friday and the AI said she’d watch her.

“Tell me everything Rogers.” You enter your office and sit in your desk chair, “I want a play by play, leave nothing out, at all.”

— —

Steve briefs you on everything, and there was nothing out the ordinary that could of spooked Bucky into running away. “Someone has to have him then.” Steve nods, “Didn’t take me long to realise that, he wouldn’t just leave.” You pick up papers and pictures from the base, “We just need to figure out who.” The door opens and Natasha comes in. “I think I know.” She grabs your keyboard and opens up a file attached to her email, it’s security footage from the base, in the shot is Bucky and Steve but then there’s a guy stood behind a car, clearly watching the pair. “Can you tell who that is?” Steve shakes his head, as he continues to watch the footage, he walks off in a different direction and you can see Sam’s shadow as he flies in another, Bucky walking in the direction of the car that the guy is hiding behind before he goes out of shot.

“He’s our prime suspect then, find him and we could find Buck.” Nat places a file in front of you, “Way ahead of you. His names Slavan Cortet. Ex S.H.I.E.L.D or ex Hydra. He was one of the main instigators, of the Hydra take over of S.H.I.E.L.D.” You gulp, “Shit, if Hydra have him we’re fucked.” You put your face in your hands, “Get us a location Nat. Let’s find him.” She leaves the room and you stare at the file more, you couldn’t lose Bucky down the worm hole that was the winter solider again.

“Hey, don’t think the worst.” You look up at Steve, “I cant lose him, not again, not so soon after getting him back. Even after everything Shuri did, I’m not sure we’d get him back again.” He sighs, before standing up and walking out, turning back as he’s stood in the door way, “Suit up, we’re going to South Carolina.” You rush to your feet, you hadn’t been on a mission for over a year, you couldn’t exactly be a superhero and a full time mum.

— —

You smile at May as you enter your room, she was sat on the sofa reading. “May do you mind staying all day? I’m going on a mission with the team and not sure what time I’ll be back.” You pull on your leather jacket, which completed your attire, “Oh no dear I don’t mind.” She’d stayed over multiple times when you’d been on missions so she knew her way around. “Thank you.” You enter your bedroom and lean over the crib, you place a light kiss on Elisa’s forehead, “Bye baby girl, be good. I’m gonna go get daddy.” She doesn’t even stir as you leave, that’s one thing she did get from her dad, being able to sleep through anything.

“Thanks again May.” You leave the room and rush to the quinjet.

— —

“We have a location. We go in, search the place, no casualties, this is a civilian area.” Steve says as you wait outside a hotel in the middle of the city.

You’d been to the military base and surveyed the area with no luck, and you were giving up hope until Nat received a witness statement from someone who saw Cortet at a hotel in town.

You all nod, you know the plan. The door opens and everyone exits the vehicle.

You go around the back and up the fire exit, you can hear them all talking through the com’s as Sam goes to the roof and Nat goes to reception to try and find out which floor he might be hiding on.

“Why thank you so much, I can’t believe I was stupid enough to lose my key.” She says in a sickeningly sweet voice.

“Nat?” You hear the elevator ding, “8th floor, room 802.” That’s all you need and you’re running up the fire escape to the 8th floor.

The door was locked so you kick it down and keep your gun high. 802 comes into view and you knock, this wasn’t part of the plan but you wanted Bucky back more than anything.

The door opens and you point your gun at the guys head, you recognise him as Cortet.

“Walk backwards, nice and slow.” He does that and you kick the door shut.

“Have you seen Bucky Barnes?” He shakes his head no, “First mistake is lying to me, I know you have, you were at base this morning. Lie to me again and you’ll be dead within seconds.” You press the gun harder into his forehead. “Tell me the truth.” The colour leaves his face as he turns pale. “They took him. He’s in the basement.”

Just as you’re about to drop the gun, Sam and Steve come bursting into the room and startle you causing you to pull the trigger. “Well shit.” You mumble as Cortet falls to the floor dead. “What the hell?” Steve says as he walks over and picks up Cortets body, checking he’s dead before dropping him again. “Nice going Y/N.” You roll your eyes, “Yeah well if you idiots hadn’t of barged in, I wouldn’t of killed him.” You put your gun in its holster. “What’d he tell you?” You load your second gun knowing you’ll need it. “They have him in the basement.” You exit the room and walk towards the window, leading to the fire escape, “Y/N now hold on, we can’t just go in all guns blazing, we don’t know the situation.” Sam grabs your arm pulling you from the window. “We never will unless we go down there.” You put a hand on your ear, “Romanoff, meet us in the basement.” You pull your arm away from Sam and jump through the window and walk down the stairs to the sub level.

“Are you losers coming or do us girls need to show you hows it done?” You reach the basement door and Sam lands next to you as does Steve.

“I’m inside guys, there’s only 1 guard at the back door, I’m by the vault which is where I think they have Barnes, there are four guards.” Natasha says and Sam does the signal before kicking the door down, taking the guard stood behind it out.

“Okay, eyes up, stay sharp.” You pull your gun out and walk the corridors, finding the vault and finding Nat.

“Let me take them out and then we can go in and get Bucky back.” You stay in your hiding place and point your gun at the guards, one by one shooting them.

“Go go go.” Steve pulls the door open and is instantly being fired at but protects himself with his shield.

Nat uses her neutralisers and stuns them all.

The room you were in was empty but there was another door, you strut over to it, you could hear voices behind it.

Taking a deep breath you hold your guns up and open the door. There were 4 guards and Bucky tied to a chair in the corner.

“Let him go and we might not kill you.” The guards turn to you, and laugh. “And what’s a little girl like you going to do to stop us?” You cock your gun, “Little? I’m insulted. You know what they say, small and mighty. But I think they might help.”

They look confused as Steve comes from the shadows along with Nat and Sam. “Ah the Avengers. Where’s the rest of you? Still fighting each other?” You point your gun at the guy who talks, “We’re not here for a friendly chat. You took what’s mine and I don’t like sharing.” His eyes light up, “Ah you must be the wife, on the contrary, not what I imagined.” Annoyed you shoot him in the leg, “Is that what you imagined?” He groans, “Let him go now.” Steve says, “Captain America, it’s nice to see you again.” A guy you recognise as Dribon says, an old agent of Hydra. “Dribon, thought you were dead.” He laughs, “Well you thought wrong and we have something of yours.” He puts his hand on Bucky’s face lifting his chin.

“Touch him again, and I’ll kill you.” You say walking closer to him gun directly at him. “Well darling if you do that, I can’t tell you how to wake him up now can I?” You stare at him wide eyed, “What did you do?” You keep your gun pointed at him as you walk over to Bucky, “Ah, that’d be telling.” Steve chucks his shield at him, missing his head by centimetres, “Tell us now, or next time I won’t miss.” He places his arms behind his back and walks over to Steve.

You kneel in front of Bucky, “Baby? Can you hear me?” You place your hands on his cold face but he doesn’t wake up. The conversations they’re having are now irrelevant to you, your main focus being Bucky. “Darling wake up.” You run your hands through his hair and he moves but his eyes remain shut.

“Steve lets just kill them all.” You stand up and turn around both of your guns pointed at two of the guards. “Hold on Y/N. If we do that, we might not get Bucky back.” You ignore him and shoot everyone but Dribon, “You’re next if you don’t tell me what the hell you did.” For the first time he looks scared of you, “Answer me.” Nat smirks, “I think you should answer her, she gets very impatient.” Dribon puts his hands up, “Fine fine, we didn’t do anything! It’s a sedative, we were going to use him to get Hydra interested in the winter solider programme again, we wanted more like him.” You scoff, “I’m gonna kill you for that.” You put your gun to his head, “Wait Wait! Please don’t, let me go and I-I’ll never speak of this again.” He shakes as he talks but you don’t give second chances.

You shoot him and his blood splats all over you. You wipe some of it away before turning to your team, “I’m not really sure why we’re here. She didn’t need us.” Sam says sarcastically, “Nope definitely not.” Nat says, “Shut up.” You walk back over to Bucky who’s still out cold, “Steve grab his other arm.” You untie him and hoist him up. Steve takes most of his weight though as you attempt to get him back to the jet.

Eventually Sam ends up carrying him, it being a lot easier for him with his pack and you board the jet.

Sam places him on the table, and you sit next to him, running your hand over his forehead.

You’re 2 hours into the flight and are nearly home when Bucky’s eyes flutter open looking at you. “Hi.” You say happily until a look of worry shoots across his face, “Where am I? Why are you covered in blood? Are you hurt? What happened?” He springs up from the table, and grabs your face in his hands running his thumbs across your cheeks.

You giggle, “Baby I’m okay.” You put your hands on top of his before kissing his palm. “It’s you I’m worried about.”

He slumps down and sits on the floor, and you slide out of your chair sitting next to him, “I remember what happened. They attacked me, knocked me out it was Hydra, Cortet and Dribon, did you get them? We have to find them.” He stands up and walks up to the cockpit where Steve and Sam are. You pull him back by his hand and he turns to you, “Love this isn’t my blood I’m covered in. We got them, they’re dead. They’ll never come after you again.” He sighs and hugs you tight, although it is short lived as he pulls away abruptly, “Where’s Elisa? Who has Elisa?” You giggle at his panic, “Calm down, she’s with May.” He sighs, and just as he’s about to talk again, you’re landing back at the compound.

“Oh hey buddy, welcome back to the land of the living.” Sam says as he exits the cockpit. Buck just nods at him, “Buck, nice to have you back.” Steve hugs him, before smiling at you and walking off the jet, “Let’s go see Elisa.” Before you can say anything he’s dragging you off the jet eager to see his little girl. “Baby you’re going to pull my arm off if you drag me any faster.” He loosens his grip, before walking at a pace beside you. “Sorry doll, I just want to see my baby girl.” You smile at him warmly as he opens the door to your shared room. “Hi May.” He says as he walks into the kitchen and kicks his shoes off before scurrying off to the bedroom before May can greet him back, “Don’t mind him May, he’s had a long day.” She smiles, “That’s Alright Mrs Barnes, I know what men can be like.” You laugh, “Indeed.” She stands up and bids you farewell before leaving, as Bucky comes out with Elisa in his arms, as she giggles away.

“Oh little miss I’m surprised you’re still awake.” You say as you walk over to them both, kissing her cheek and wrapping an arm around Bucky’s waist. “Of course she was, she wanted to see her daddy.” You narrow your eyes at Bucky, “Love she was still awake wasn’t she? You didn’t wake her up?” Bucky turns his head so he’s not looking at you, trying to hide the guilt in his eyes. “James Buchanan Barnes, I swear if you woke her up!”

When he nods sheepishly at you, you groan, “She’ll be up all night now James!” You turn from him and grab a water bottle from the fridge, “You’re staying up with her.” You pass him the bottle as he passes you Elisa. “Of course I will Y/N, she’s my angel.” Your lips are still pouted angrily and he notices, placing his hands on your hips, “Baby don’t be mad at me, I’m sorry I woke her but today could of gone very differently and I can’t imagine what I’d of done if I never got to see her again so I just wanted to hold her and tell her I love her,” He kisses you lightly getting rid of the pout on your lips as you smile, “Forgive me?” He kisses you again this time more passionately and you hum into the kiss, “How could I stay mad at you?” He smiles, “I love you Y/N.” You hand him Elisa, “I love you too James.” You smile as you walk away, leaving him confused, “Baby where are you going?” You turn to him, “Oh I’m going to bed, have fun.” You say as Elisa gurgles loudly and you leave your husband stood in shock. “But doll-“ He whines but you shut the door and lock it, “I told you, you woke her up so now you have to stay up with her and then put her back to bed.” You wave sarcastically at him and proceed to remove your clothes leaving you in only your t shirt and pants as you fall into the mattress.

You don’t even get 10 minutes sleep before the bedroom door is being unlocked and opened and Bucky comes in, Elisa in his arms. He places her on the bed next to you, as he gets undressed before picking her sleeping figure back up and putting her in her crib covering her with blankets.

Bucky joins you in bed and you don’t move pretending to be asleep even though he woke you the moment he came in. Your weight shifts as he gets in bed and you roll slightly towards him, he gets comfortable before wrapping his arms around you and tangling your legs together, sighing in content you nuzzle your head into his chest falling asleep again.

— — —

343 notes · View notes

reeree1500 · 5 years

Text

The Return- Part Three

Okay y'all so here it is!! Part 3 of the Return series!!! Ivar and reader relationship developmentttttt💕 Hope you guys like itttt :) Lemme know if you guys wanna be tagged too. And don't kill meeeee pleaseee 😂

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 part 8 part 9 Part 10

Taglist: @yanii-the-hippie @oceans-daughter-3 @peaceisadirtyword @laketaj24 @amy8220 @cutegyrl927 @camatsuru @cindy-exo @cainismyname @affection-rabbit

Disclaimer: My sucky writing again. Bad grammar and spelling😂 Character death. And bad plot in general.

Your POV

Excitement. Thats all I could say I was feeling at the moment. To finally be back in Kattegat with my family was something I never thought would have happened again. After my father’s grand announcement of my return, the room overflowed with happiness. People were coming up to me, asking me where I had been for the past 6 years and how I had survived. Obviously, I tried to answer everyone’s questions to the best of my ability without giving too much information. For I still didn't know, the true reason as to why I had to leave or who wanted me gone.

The happiness in the hall however did not last very long. Aslaug, the woman who was questioning Bjorn earlier that night. Was actually my father’s wife. “Im sorry? She's your what now?!?!” Aslaug screams of sorrow over my existence could probably be heard all the way in Frankia. My father however, seemed to have very little interest in her reactions at all. He had cast her to the side as if she meant nothing to him. During the course of the next few hours neither my father nor Bjorn left my side. It was as if they thought something would occur to me if I was out of their side for more than a second. “Father, if it is alright with you I would like to go outside for some fresh air.” I tell him, whilst grasping his hand to truly catch his attention. Cupping my face he says “My sweet little girl, you may do anything you please. However, I would prefer that you do not stray too far from here, as I have just gotten you back. And I would not be able to handle losing you again.” With that he gives me a kiss on my forehead and sends me on my way.

However, I can still feel the overbearing presence of my older brother. “Bjorn, you know Im not gonna run away, if thats what you're afraid of.” I tell him whilst stepping outside. “Im not afraid of you running away. Im afraid of something happening to you (y/n). Plus worrying about you is my job, always has been.” Leaning on one of the wooden beams, I cant help but to stare up at the sky and hold my cross between my fingers. Thinking to myself how different life would have been if I had not left. “ Im only a few steps away shout if anything happens. Okay?” “Okay! And Bjorn... I love you.” At that Bjorn kisses my forehead and walks back inside.

Unbeknownst to me, a certain dark haired man was lurking in the shadows. “Awwww, If I had a heart I would think that was probably the sweetest reunion Ive ever seen.” Turning to the sound of that familiar voice, I see Ivar leaning on his crutch making his way towards me. “I never thought that I would have a sister. And a Christian one at that.” The way that his eyes scan over my body makes me feel a certain way that I cannot quite describe. And the way that his features are outlined by the moonlight really gives a sense of how handsome he is. “Wait, are you implying that...”

“Well, if all Christians are as slow as you I don't think we’ll have a problem conquering them.” A smirk is displayed on his face, while his eyes show a hint of deviance in them. “Why do you think that Bjorn and Ubbe look so much alike (y/n)?” “Or the fact that we all share similar traits like our eyes?” As Ivar continues to talk down to me as if I were a child, I start to connect the dots. Why it was that Bjorn and Ubbe look alike. The way that they all seem to share the same traits as my father. The four young men that Bjorn introduced me too, are actually my brothers.

With wide eyes I come to the realization that...“You’re my brother.” “Took you long enough.” At that Ivar seems to crack what looks like a genuine smile. “You know, I always thought that I was the youngest, but now that I'm not...” The genuine smile I had probably imagined was now a devious one. “ Now, baby sister. Why don't you and I go and sit down by those steps down there. And you can tell big brother Ivar, what you've been up to all this time?” Without being able to answer, Ivar grabs my hands and takes me towards the steps. Why do I feel like this night is just getting started...

-----------------------------------------

Ivar POV

Needless to say all of us were in shock to learn that (y/n) was our sister. Especially Hvitserk, who had not only been enchanted by her beauty, but was already planning how he would take her from Bjorn. I however, knew something was up the minute I saw her in the great hall. She had no scars whatsoever on her body, meaning she wasn't a shield-maiden. And absolutely no callouses on her fingers from when she took the ale, meaning she definitely wasn't a thrall. And Bjorn wouldn't cheat on Torvi, unless he wants his balls cut off. Something intrigued me about her instantly. It was if she had been sent to me by the Gods, her sharp tongue reminded me of mine. The way that she stood up for my mother not even knowing that she had caused Lagertha and Ragnar to break up amazed me. The way she handled herself with grace and dignity was exactly what I wanted. No, what I need for in a wife.

“Ivar, are you okay? You've been staring at me for the past 5 mins without saying a word.” (y/n) places her hand on my knee to draw my attention whilst looking straight into my eyes. “As a matter of fact, Im trying to piece together, how we’re the same age, and we never met before you left.” As she goes to lift her hand from my knee, something instinctively goes over me and I grab her and hold it were it was. The initial shock she and I both had at my actions soon subsided. She let her hand rest under mine. As if we had done this countless times before, our fingers intertwined and they in my eyes fit perfectly. I could see the inner turmoil inside her, on whether these small affectionate moments between us were something that was so wrong, but that felt so right.

It was not just moments ago that I had found out she was indeed my sister. Blood of my blood. But somehow, something in me told me that we were meant to be. I felt safe and strangely loved by this person in front of me, whom I have never met before. “You know Ivar, we lived on a farm. I was 100% certain that I would be a farm girl for the rest of my life. I was content with knowing that I would spend my life tending to the animals and my family. But, this is just too much.” Looking down at where our once intertwined hands were. I see that she is now staring at the ground playing with the ends of her long braided hair. “Why? Because you feel as if you're not good enough? Look at me for Odin’s sake! Im a cripple!” At that moment our eyes connected and I saw a reflection of myself in her. A scared child who was deprived of a normal childhood. Seeking for acceptance and love from anyone.

“(Y/n), come inside father wishes to speak to you.” Bjorn says coming out from the great hall ale in hand. Clearly drunk as well. “Sure thing, I’ll be there in a second.” As she goes to stand up (y/n) turns to me and kisses me on the cheek. “Thank you for the pep talk, big brother.”

I knew that I could not be the only one feeling this way. She had to have been feeling the same about me. And I will go to the ends of the world and face the God’s themselves if they think that for a second I will not make her mine.

Your POV

What had I just done! I kissed him whether it be on the cheek or not. I kissed Ivar. My brother. Oh lord, forgive me for these sinful thoughts are consuming me. The intense feeling I got from us holding hands and from when he stared into my eyes. I had felt at home. Felt safe, felt something that I should only be feeling for the man I should marry. Not my brother! As I enter the great hall, all eyes turn on me. Remembering what I had just talked to Ivar about, I keep my head up. I shouldn't be ashamed, or feel as if I'm less than I am.

As I make my way to my father through the crowd once he spots me his eyes light up immediately. Sitting on his thrown he extends his hand and makes me sit on the throne beside his. “My beautiful daughter are you feeling alright now?” He says to me a little louder as if to make sure that people know not to mess with me. “Y..yes father Im feeling much better.” I murmur to him. At that moment my eyes trail off as if to find something that would take me out of this position right now. I have never been one to be the centre of attention. And as much as I wanna believe in myself that I can be a good princess to my people, at the moment that is not going to happen. As I scan the room my eyes land on Hvitserk. He’s eating a piece of chicken las if it were his last meal ever. I cannot help, but to laugh at him and that when he notices. He flashes a smile that could certainly melt any lady’s heart. Without realizing I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear and bit my lip. Biting my lip when Im nervous is something Ive always done.

However, what did not realize was Ivar eyeing me from behind him. At that I stop and stare at the ground. As the hours go by, finally the last person leaves the great hall. Leaving only my father and brothers with me. “Sooooo, where is (y/n) supposed to sleep, father?” Asks Ubbe. Coming from behind me Hvitserk puts his arm around my shoulders bringing me closer to his body. “She can sleep with me! I don't mind sharing my bed with her.” At this Ivar scoffs. “Of course you wouldn't, you wouldn’t mind sharing your bed with anything that has a pulse.” I tilt my head trying to figure out whatever he means by that. And all that can be heard is the snickering of my father.

“I was thinking that perhaps I could sleep with Bjorn. You know since we used to share a room when we were little...” I say wishing that what I feel most comfortable with could be taken into account. “I don't know about that one baby sis, you'd have to ask Torvi. She defiantly doesn't like sharing thats for sure.” as Ivar says this he smirks at me while taking bite out of his apple. “Who’s Torvi?” “Wait! Bjorn didn't tell you? He's married.”

At that moment a scream was heard throughout the town.

“Oh My God, Mira!!!!” at that moment I shot out of Hvitserk’s arms and ran as fast as I could. How could I have been so stupid that I left my friend by herself in an unknown place. Seeing the people gathered around Bjorn's cabin only made my heart more nervous. Pushing my way past the crowd I make it up the steps in one piece. But what I saw would forever haunt me. There on the floor lied my once best friend and most trusted subject Mira. And on her back was carved the death rune. All I remember is hitting the floor and watching a pair of worried and frantic electric blue eyes.

#vikings #vikings fandom #vikings fanfiction #vikings history channel #vikings ivar #ivar lothbrok #ivar's heathen army #ivar x reader #ivar #bjorn lothbrok #bjorn ironside #bjorn x reader #hvitserk #hvitserk x reader #ragnarsdottir #ragnar lothbrok #ragnar x lagertha #ask to tag

88 notes · View notes

illstaywithstray · 5 years

Text

Request: Hello! May i request angsty fluff chan scenarios when he compared you to his ex? Thanks☺😘❤

note: THIS IS SO LATE I APOLOGIZE! also oof this was a tough one bc i feel like he wouldn’t do that, but testosterone is a funni chemical

At first, being with Chris Bang made you feel like you were floating; you were constantly in this mood where it seemed like no one could bring you down. Because he was so damn perfect and you were falling head over heels. But for some reason, recently you were getting angrier and he was losing his patience more often and both of you were constantly on edge with each other. But you were still in love with this boy. And he was absolutely obsessed with you. But every time he would cancel plans, every single time he would ignore you because of some stupid fight, you felt like you were breaking apart when he either texted you something short and blunt or nothing at all. On several occasions, either you went too far or he went too far, and there would be a period of silence but no apology. There would just a silent hug or a peace offering like breakfast before he left. But then it was February, and Valentines Day and both of you were trying really hard to fix your relationship, and he was gushing about his plans and you were so so excited because this was the first time you guys were having a good time doing something together. And this boy, he kept telling you that he would pause all work for you. Even if JYP tried to drag his body to the rehearsal studio he wouldn't budge. Because

“Y/n, you're so important to me, above everything else. Trust me, this is gonna be huge.”

And you had smiled while your heart just melted because finally, finally you guys were mending things. And then it was Valentine’s Day. You got ready, taking the time to straighten and brush out your hair. You wore your favorite dress, the black satin one you had gotten on a trip to Milan. Your phone buzzed and you put on a coat while checking it.

“cant make it. work. sorry”

The screen blurred as you fell back onto the couch. You could feel your heart pounding faster until your chest was tight and it hurt to breathe. You were just crying and crying and just absolutely broken. He knew, he fucking knew how much you had been looking forward to this. But he canceled with no explanation, no remorse.

An hour passed and the phone rang.

”Chan?”

“Hey y/n, it's actually Lucas? Lucas Wong? Uhh, we met when you came to our concert? NCT? Maybe you don't remember me? You know, like-”

“Ok, ok, sorry Lucas, I just thought you were Chan,” you said, laughing at your best friend. “God y/n, I thought you forgot me already. I was wondering if you were free right now?” “Yeah, I am” “Wanna go to the spot tonight?” “Yeah, pick me up? I’m pretty much ready” “Alright, see you in five”

You ignored the messages on your phone while flying out of the apartment into the cold night. Lucas looked up at you while you came down the stairs, looking away quickly. You paused as he opened the door for you, and glanced at his face. It was red.

It was silent in the car till he started talking.

“Well, you look nice, not gonna lie, and also Johnny’s on my ass for ditching practice for you tonight, so you better feel grateful, and also I brought a lot of food but let's eat it at the end this time”

“Okokok, hold on. Who was the one who threw up on the carousel last time? After chugging three sodas?”

You glanced over at him and grinned while he just laughed.

“Ok stop exposing me, I'm supposed to be strong... like king kong”

“I know. And you are”

He glanced at you once, laughing quietly.

An hour later, you were both laughing your asses off. The spot was a place you and Lucas had stumbled upon a couple months ago. It was pretty much an abandoned circus, but the rides were intact. At night, the streetlamps lit up the entire place and it looked so ethereal with blushes of gold and red. The Ferris wheel was where you had kissed Lucas once upon a time.

“NO, WE LOST HIM” “I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT LUCAS” “Y/N I HAD TO” “WHY” “BECAUSE I HAD TO DEFEND YOUR HONOR” “SO YOU SHOVED A PIE IN A POLICE OFFICER’S FACE?” He sighed, slowing to a walk. “Don't question me y/n, my actions are pure instinct.” “If you say so Lucas. Ferris wheel now?” "Hell yeah, let's get it”

You clambered onto the small cart, with him sitting just opposite of you. The carts were small, so your knees rested against his. You both silently stared into the night. The ground became a haze as you stopped at the top. Roofs of buildings seemed so far away and car lights became little stars.

“Y/n? Why are you alone?” “Hmm?” You glanced over at him, and now it looked like he hadn’t been looking at the buildings.

He’d been looking at you.

“What do you mean?” “I mean where’s Chan” “He’s busy, I guess practice went overtime today” “What practice?” “I'm pretty sure he was working on some dance, he had to help Jeongin learn the last few steps” “Then why’s this on Changbin’s story?” He pulled something up on his phone and turned the screen to face you. The room was dark and blasting music and members from a girl group were dancing with the guys from Stray Kids. Chan was with a short girl who looked like she was having the time of her life. You couldn’t really see his face because of the flashing lights. Felix yelled into the camera.

“DAMN CHAN, YOU AlREADY HAVE Y/N-”

Before the video ended. You just stared at it, as it looped and played over and over again. Lucas pulled it away, and then turned off his phone and looked back at you.

“I’m sorry”

“How could he do this to me-,” you managed to get out before your vision began blurring. “Oh my god, he always does shit like this, I’m so-,” but Lucas refused to let you finish and smothered you in a hug. You were sobbing into his sweatshirt when the ride began going back down.

The drive home was silent, but you were attached to Lucas’s arm, laying your head on his shoulder. As soon as you pulled into the driveway, you saw Chan sitting on the front steps, head in hands. There was a bouquet of roses sitting next to him. As soon as he heard the engine, he got to his feet and looked at you in the passenger's seat. Then his eyes went over to Lucas and back to your head laying on his shoulder. You could feel his anger through the door, but thanked Lucas for everything and got out. Chan stared at you and followed you in, ignoring the roses.

“What the hell?”

“What?” You didn’t even look at him as he started looking you up and down and trying to process what he had seen.

“Y/n, why the hell were you with him? And while wearing that?”

“You’re such a hypocrite, you were literally fucking around with some girl. I saw Felix’s story”

“God, you can’t even trust me? She was forcing herself on me, not the other way around,” he ran his fingers through his hair angrily, “honestly, even h/e/n was less fucked up than you.”

You felt like you’d been slapped, while he realized what he had said.

“Wait, I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant-” but you were already walking out.

You hurried down the stairs while he opened it and ran after you. You were in the middle of the road when he finally caught up, pulling your wrist back, moving you off the street.

“How many times Chan? How many fucking times are you gonna hurt me?” your voice was breaking.

His eyes turned sad. “Y/n, I’m sorry, that was such a stupid and unnecessary thing of me to say. I’m sorry that I didn’t explain anything, but I had practice and Felix decided to drag me to some party. I swear I wasn’t the one who texted you, it was one of the girls there. I know I screwed up, but I’m still in love with you, and you’re the only girl for me. I’m sorry I got mad about Lucas, but I trust you and I know he’s just a friend. I know we’re going through something, but I don’t want you to leave me.”

“I love you too and I’m not leaving,” was all you were able to say before his lips met yours.

#bang chan #lucas wong #lee felix #stray kids #stray kids au #bang chan au #scenario #request #thanks for requesting!#requests are open #chan fanfic #stray kids angst #chan angst #bang chan angst #bang chan fluff #stray kids fluff #chan fluff

114 notes · View notes

murdocsmacattack · 6 years

Text

the reason im not afraid of 3x10/3x11 and the reason 3x10/3x11 needs to happen

so ,the name at the very least ,for what will ether be ep 310 or 311 has been revealed "mac+fallout+jack" and for pretty understandable and obvious reasons its left 99.9% of the fandom with a seance of foreboding especially given mac and jacks interactions resent episodes ,

however im not afraid , and, i may be giving the writers to much credit with what we've been getting and all, but last time in season 2 when i gave the writers some credit , we actually came pretty cloes to what i was thinking , so im going out on this limb again , and i hope you'll hear me out , because were dealing with the bromance slash surrogate father relationship of jack and mac , and this area at least the writers have always gotten 99.9% right ..with ..a few hiccups here and there but you get what i mean , so what am i getting at?

the offness were apparently ALL picking up when it comes to mac and jack..is being done on purpose.

why do i think this ? well its a bit long and briefly personal , but art imitates life and there is a point so i hope you bear with me,a little while back around 302 i did a post about the reaction of the fandome to mac leaving, coming back , and still wanting to leave again , where i basically stated the former

"i think the problem is a lot of people are looking at the situation through “mac” colored glasses so to speak like “oh macs so sweet and so strong , so clearly this isn’t him , this is childish ,his friends are going to easy on him , hes a compartmentalize mac would never do this , hes not allowed to act like this!”"

and im not saying everyone whose coming to the “macs being a dick ” conclusion is completely wrong , but i truly still stand by the believe that his actions are more of a gray area then were giving it credit for , and ill get into that and why its important in a sec but first , lets look at jack

the thing is , after reading a lot of my fellow fans feelings and reactions and mulling over my own thoughts , i think people are seeing jack through jack colored glasses as well, see jack discovered something about himself in 301 when it comes to mac , something i just assumed everyone else saw even tho it was subtle, and its something about himself that knowing jacks character he doesn’t much care for

in 301 it was ether riley or bozer who stated "jack didnt care where you were , as long as he knew you were happy " witch as far as there relationship has gone thus far , has been the assumed status quo between them and towards each other, but then we see jacks actions, and hear his own words when he finally comes face to face with mac after there months apart

"I was gonna hunt down and capture Walsh.Yeah, I kind of figured if I collared your old man's ex-partner, I don't know, he'd just retire.And-and then you could return to the Phoenix."

"You know, you did save my life, pal, but I could argue that I'm saving yours as well.Rescued you from a life of misery, - wasting your talents. '

" the world needs you, Mac.And you owe it to the world to work for the Phoenix."

jack goes on to tell mac his main reason along with the ones stated above was jack was doing what he always does , protecting him , but having had this short conversation and hearing his thoughts out loud AND judging from jakcs reaction to mac coming to find him at the airstrip in the next episode , jack realized somethings after having time to mull over his own words

1 that mac being happy , alone, isn't enough

like riley said ,jack knew mac was relatively happy, he had his first steady girlfriend that hasn't tried to kill him , and tho not in any war zones , was still using his gifts to help people , he was healing and happy to the point he was considering not coming back , and i honesty don't believe this was an easy choice or taken lightly on macs part, whose the type of person who wont leave a house he loves despite the fact its literally unsafe, mac had to be happy in a real kinda way to come to this decision , and jack must have known that

but jack still cant fully accept that , hed rather have mac happy AND be with him , then only the former , jack assumes mac is "living a life of misery " because jack is miserable without him , and in that dialog jack admits this to mac and himself out loud for what is probably the first time

this revelation is so hard on jack , because knowing jack he no doubt thinks this is very wrong of him to feel , jack views riles and mac as his children , but because he hasn't had biological kids of his own for a long and continues amount of time , jack doesn’t understand that theses feeling of a parent in relation to there child are completely normal ,every parent struggles with the balancing act of wanting there child to be happy , and also wanting the child they've raised to be near them

in jakcs mind hes come to the unwanted conclusion that when it comes to mac , he can be greedy and even a little selfish , even if that isn't entirely true and even if mac himslef may not actually feel that way , its how jack is seeing himself now and its put him on edge in concerns to mac

2 jack thinks macs dads physical presence is the only problem

jack and his own father had a completely different relationship in comparison to mac and his dad , but its influencing a lot of jakcs actions , jakcs convinced if big mac is out the building mac will have no problem walking back in , but that's not the real issue ,witch brings us to mac himself and the main problem when it comes to him and his relation to the people around him ,witch is ?

mac is emotionally distancing himself..because his emotions are being disregarded .

macs life was truly torn apart last season after what his father did, hes left feeling the crushing weight of looking at any and i mean any aspect of his life , and feeling like it doesn’t belong to him ,most likely to the point were doing anything that reminds him of those feelings may even be physically painful , no really , i want you all to imagine building something real that you thought was amazing for years and then having someone tell you “no you didnt do any of that , none of that’s real , you’d have nothing without me ”

god guys its..skin crawling ,and mac was crawling in his own to the point he felt he had to leave the continent to get away from it,of cores macs not acting like who he is , he suddenly has to question every aspect of what that is, mac was faced with a real identity crisis ,and i know for people who haven’t run this kinda race that’s a hard thing to understand , to understand having such a great support system to fall back on ,and not being able to reach out to it , but its a real thing ,and its actually a pretty accurate picture of someone not being able to see past it when there in that much pain , because that’s what this is its pain ,and quite frankly macs handling it better then i did

i did what mac did to the people around me ,only i didnt have to leave my room to do it, but i was given that space and all the time i needed to mentally and emotionally heal, the problem is, mac wasn't, not really , mac thought hed found a woman and a purpose, and that was it, hes good , but that's not who mental health works , and it really doesn’t help , that macs kind of the martyr of the group , thanks to his dad mac was pretty much a parentified child from the time he was 10 hes been putting everyone else’s feelings and well-being before himslef for a looong time

and because that was his default setting within the group , it became a shock when mac did something drastic for his own good that put himself first , and weather we or the characters like it or not , that distance was needed, and the slow healing that was happening was cut short, and then he comes back and jack tells him in his own words that he wants him with him to the point of putting him self in harms way , because he knows mac will turn around and put himslef last to save him ,and mac doesn't know what emotionally to do with this , because macs not used to being so wanted , but hes still not healed and being around his father is still hard so he goes to leave again , but then murdoc happens and mac puts himslef to the back again because someone died , witch brings us to the big point of why "mac+fallout+jack" needs to happen

mac and jack still arn’t right with themselves..and there not talking about it

mac tries , weakly , at the end of 302 , but jack cuts it down and says there fine , and mac in turn says the same , becaues both of them don't want to acknowledge that something no matter how tiny between them has fractured , but this moment where they both chose not to talk is what sets the tone going forward , jack doesn't let himslef be as close to or open with mac as he was before , and macs feelings, especially when it comes to his father , continue to be pushed aside or misinterpreted ,so mac emotionally distances himslef from everyone and everything and says nothing ,and why would he , mac put his own feeling first , for the first time ..and it was met with a very negative reaction

but they need to have this conversation , and the only thing that may very well bring that about at this point with them playing pretend ,is that mac needs to have an emotional blow up ,hes been pushing all this shit down from all sides and its really been fucking with him , its been a long time coming and there needs to be screaming and crying and yelling , and it may be painful to watch and painful to hear , they may not talk for a day or 2 , but this needs to happen , they need to lay it all out and get themselves right so they can be right together

mac and jack have both been disillusioned with there seance of self , even if the things they now believe about themselves arnt exactly true , its made them loose the equilibrium within there relationship that has been there constant , their off ,and they need to find each other again.

#MacGyver #macgyver 2016 #jack dalton

29 notes · View notes

tumblunni · 6 years

Text

What do you guys think about the names Dustin and Darcy for my protagonists in Let's Go?

Cos i really wanted to play the co op mode thing by myself, just so i can pretend this role in the plot is filled by two siblings and have a bit of fun roleplaying that. But i dunno yet how the co-op works and whether you'd be able to customize the avatar of the second player or if its just the default trainer? Or can you only play co-op if you have two separate games? Im planning to buy the other version anyway once i get more money, so it could be fun to play my first version with sibling one and then the second playthru is sibling two's turn to shine!

Oh and the whole reason i wanted to do this is cos i wanna try out the customization features to make some ocs now that there's no competitive online stuff unless you pay a subscription fee (LOL NO THANKS). Like..i always felt like i HAD to make my character me in xy/sumo/usum, otherwise its like lying online? But of course i cant actually make me because theres no nonbinary option or even remotely ambiguous outfits for either gender. And you cant have wild hair colours while i dye my hair 24/7 irl lol. Its silly cos like 95% of the gym leaders and other characters ingame have anime hair colours yet the player has to be normal? So yeah i cpuldnt really enjoy making this innacurate defanged version of myself yet i didnt feel like i was allowed to just make up a new character either. Closest i could do was give myself white hair like my old trainersona when i was 12, lol. I mean i guess thats my 'real hair colour' underneath the dye right now, if you think about it that way?

OH GOD PIKACHU CAN HAVE A LITTLE TUXEDO AND BOWLER HAT HOLY FUCK IM SORRY TO INTERRUPT THIS BUT I WAS WATCHING THE IGN REVIEW AND THEY SHOWED PIKA BOWLER HAT PLEASE GO GOOGLE THAT VIDEO JUST FOR THAT 1 SECOND OF NEW FOOTAGE OF MY BEAUTIFUL CLASSY BOYE

okay where was i

Yeah! I think sibling trainers could be a good and unique way to handle a rival! Like having them be your sibling already establishes that rivalry. But it can be a soft and nice rivalry! I wanna go with that fun version rather than the full on angry exaggerated sibling rivalries you often see in kids media. Like i know that some people legit dont get on with their siblings and some people can even have a very gary esque full on rivalry thats sorta 'love to hate' or like..tsundere pretending you hate them. But personally i never had experience with that, i can never relate to those 'tfw u hate ur sibling and theyre always an asshole but lolll u love them anyway' posts. I only got to live with my little sister for a little while due to the catastrophe of abusive parenthood that was my childhood, and i lost contact with her forever when she was very young so i doubt she'd even remember me. *sigh* But like i don't think i only love her so much because i miss her! People say newborns and toddlers are the most bratty so like you'd think if i was gonna ever find her 'annoying' i would have done it back then. I was always just mega proud of her and whenever she'd be 'bratty' i'd be cheering her on and trying to protect her from mom. And when she'd try and pull pranks on me or practise play-fighting or whatever i was just like 'lol thats legit funny' and taking play-falls so she felt better about herself. Like we didnt have much power in that household so i felt like encouraging her pretending to be a wrestler would help her feel like she had some sort of control in some part of her life i guess? And just i wished i was allowed to roughhouse and run around and be all 'unladylike' and just enjoy BEING A KID when i was a kid, yknow? I always had legit fun being with her and legit enjoyed it and was legit proud and legit never annoyed. I just dont understand 'yeah she's annoying but i love her anyway'. I was only ever her rival as a play-rival to help encourage her to like.. Enjoy the things she enjoyed. Feel like someone else cared. I only ever acted like 'ha ha baby stuff yeah sure i hate hanging out with my sister" cos i thought i was SUPPOSED TO. I always felt so guilty doing it and so dissappointed cos id rather hang out with her than be a boring stereotypical teen tbh. I dunno, maybe this isnt typical for siblings and its just a sign of how badly we were raised? I was just real fuckin lonely and absolutely loved having a family member who loved me for the first time since my grandma died. Same reason i always used to act all 'i am too cool i totally am not soft for my lil sister' around my lil sister's dad. I really wanted him to love me too! I used to say swear words at him cos i thougjt he would thibk i was Cool And Adult?? I have soooo many cringe moments from that phase of my childhood. Man it hurts to think that i never actually did get to become that positive influence that protected my sister from my mum and let her know she was loved. Cos i was sent to live with my dad when she was like 5ish? And never saw her again and now im too scared to try and reach out to her again because 1: she probably doesnt even remember me, 2: theres a chance she believes my mum saying i was some horrible asshole who abandoned the family, 3: even bigger chance that contacting her could mean my mum finding me again and big fuckin risk of further abuse. Plus the awkwardness of introducing my trans self when she'd remember me as her sister and all. Sigh! All i can do is hope that her cool dad eventually got custody of her, and that he didnt turn out to be a secret bastard like when i met my own dad. He seemed good, but then again i was just a lil kid and my dad seemed good at first. Sighhhhhh...

SO UMM YEAH WOW I MADE MYSELF SAD

Anyway the point is that whenever i write siblings i'd rather write 100% unapologetic super loving love cos its wish fullfillment for me. This is also why in/cest shipping is a massive beserk button for me, good wholesome family relationships are REAL FUCKIN IMPORTANT and how DARE you corrupt that shit! Some people would fuckin KILL to have that wholesome family!!

Anyway lol thats why i'd like a Wholesome Rivalry for these sibling ocs! Like they challenge each other to contests along the way just for fun, and they react all 'wow my sis is the BEST' when you beat them, so hard feelings at all. And you dont JUST do rival stuff but also sometimes just hang out and have fun cos you missed each other. And if anyone threatens your sibling then THAT is the only time you see the Serious Sibling Power! Rival moments: ha ha lol bet ya cant beat me ooo im a scary villain LOL I CANT KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE HAHA! Giovanni punches your brother: *stony cold death glare from hell as tricksy prank sis turns into an unstoppable vengeance engine* Oh, but also the only other time they'd be serious is in their final battle together! Like most of the 'rivalry' is just competing to make the adventure fun and to help each other get stronger. But if sis/bro ever actually legit said they really want to fight to find out who's the best, and its like..important to help their self confidence, then i think bro/sis would respect that and go all out. Taking a fall and letting them win would be the most disrespectful thing of all! Oh, but i do think there would be one kind of battle like that during the story? Like in one of the more low stakes faux-rival fights the sibling actually does try and let you win, and the challenge is to try and lose against all odds. High stakes super failure battle!!! Imagine the evil team in the background like 'wtf' as these two run the most aggressively slow race of all time! XD

Oh and i kinda thought about different personalities for the two of them based on who you pick? Like i did like that aspect about brendan/may in RSE compared to other 'unpicked option becomes rival' characters in later games that didnt even have one personality let alone two. It just sucks that the personalities they decided to give them were 'female rival is super self concious and thinks youre better than her because youre a boy' and 'male rival is super ego and thinks he's better than you because he's a boy'. Boooo!

So instead of that the personalities i was thinking for these two would be less sexist lol. Male sibling Dustin is basically Wally so far? I need to develop him a bit more to make him a bit distinct, i mean its not like every single shy dude is identical. I'm thinking maybe mix him with all the wasted potential in Brendan? Like in the game they slightly hint at him having the ONE non stereotypical trait of liking cute teddy bears, and that made me think about how much better his whole plot would have been if it actually criticized his sexism and said that he only behaves that way cos he's overcompensating for being bullied for being 'feminine', yknow? And then in the manga they actually DO write him as super feminine, and even as a contest star who loves fashion and dressing up his pokemon! But then GAHHH they present it as some sort of fuckin 'character flaw', like he's shown to be selfish and superficial because of it. And the backstory is that him and the female protagonist used to be 'normal' until a traumatic event. Brendan was a Natural Fighting Prodigy until he saved his female friend from a wild pokemon and was so traumatized that he never wanted to fight again, while she wanted to learn to fight so she'd never need to be protected again. But this is not only presented as Wrong Ways To Be Gender but also like.. Fighting their natural instinct which still comes through?? Like male protag hasnt fought in YEARS yet whenever he's forced to fight he's just magically better at it than female protag who's been practising all these years to become his equal. Ha ha silly girl you can never achieve that! All you get is this patronizing 'well if you just tryyyyy girly things im sure you'll like it' plot and then you get rescued by him in the end because OF COURSE you do. Sigh! I cant believe they made me hate that pairing even more than the games did! So yeah i dont really wanna write Dustin as a jerkass who's secretly got synpathetic motives of internalized homophobia/sexism, cos i feel thats a plot very specific to my perceptuons of Brendan and id basically just have to make Dustin a clone of him and he wouldnt be able to shine on his own merits. Instead i'm just thinking of writing him as a 100% sensitive soul, and he still faces predjudice for not being that bigoted idea of an 'ideal man' but really the fact he doesnt bow down to their demands proves that he's the bravest person here.

And then I'm thinking maybe the female sibling Darcy is the older one and is a bit "gary ish"? Like eitjer way you still have a friendly and loving siblingness, but she's a bit more of a sass who is tsundere about admitting she loves her bro. But i dont think she's the cold or grumpy sort of tsundere, more like a trickstery tomboy? Bombastic loki jock sis! She can only be a bit abrasive with her bro cos she wants to teach him to be tough even when she's not there to protect him. But sometimes she can mess it up and make him feel like he has to change his personality in order to be tough, rather than letting him know she supports him in being "unmasculine" and just wants to help him find the confidence to stand up to people who bully him for it. Like she feels like she is 'weaker' than him in the sense that she worries too much about what people will think if she expresses her real emotions, yknow? Like theyre both suffering from toxic masculinity! He's suffering from the standard form where men who are too 'soft' are beaten down into that mould. Ans she's suffering from the problem where 'masculine' girls feel like they have to be '100% masculine' in order to be allowed to be themselves at all. Like back when i was a kid and before i came out as trans i always used to try and pretend to like sports ans like..cliche macho shit where you Cant Admit You Care About Your Friends and also i wasnt allowed to like ANY feminine things at all. I had to either follow the stereotype of femininity entirely or follow the opposite stereotype, i wasnt allowed to just reject stereotypes and like what i actually like. So yeah me realizing i wasnt really a girl has led to me embracing more 'girly' things than back when i thought i was one! So i think Darcy would have a similar arc but like..the cis equivelant? Just finds people who arent such judgmental pricks and stops having to conform to either of those stereotypes in order to keep fake friends who dont really give a shit about her. She can have a plot about both forced feminine and masculine stereotypes being equally limiting, rather than that shitty 'being masculine is a prison uwu every woman will be happier embracing her love of makeup' shit. That dominant narrative just made me feel like i was somehow wrong about myself whenever i didnt like 100% Of Sports All The Time, i must be somehow girly if i liked even ONE girly thing yet i needed hundreds of proofs if i wanted to be masculine. And like i wasnt just allowed to be neither! I wasnt allowed to like parts of both! I wasnt allowed to BE GODDAMN TRANS!!! So yeah i dunno if i'd go whole hog and make this character a trans man or a nonbinary person tho? I think she's just actually a cis girl who happens to be sporty and brash and likes a lot of 'masculine' fashion and hobbies. And she's just been made to feel self concious about it, as if she cant possibly REALLY be that unless she likes Every Single Boy Thing and wins at Every Single Challenge. Does anyone else remember that shit too? The girls have to win Every sports game against the boys in order to be 'one of the boys' but if you lose even one of them it somehow proves that you're inferior. Even though the boys lost 50 billion games to you and that doesnt prove theyre inferior! Like man she has sooooo many 'gary rivals' in her school life, thats why she loves going on this adventure with a kind brother rival who actually respects her! So her resolution would just be her staying the same but being more confident about it and saying fuk u to those fake friends. Same as her brother's plot, just they both face different specifics to the way this sexism affects them, yknow?

Oh but yeah when i did finally learn about LGBT stuff and realize i was trans it was Big Amazing cos even in the rare stories about Its Okay To Be Yourself it still left me feeling weirdly empty when the girl decides that yes she does wanna be a girl in the end. So i get that these plots might come off as queerbaiting if i write them badly? I need to make sure to make it clear that these characters 100% want to be seen as this gender and its just other people being fuckfaces and trying to define what their gender has to mean. I think maybe i'll try and mitigate this potential misunderstanding by adding different sorts of lgbt content. And, well, also cos i just want lgbt content in all of my stories because i am lgbt, of course! I'm 100% sure that Darcy is gay, and i think also maybe possibly Dustin is trans? Like, his plot is about being mocked for being a 'feminine' boy, but its also even more personal for him because he's a trans boy and he feels like he needs to change his personality in order to pass/he isnt really real because his personality doesnt fit the stereotypical image of a man. Like if you'd looked at the two of them back when they were identical twins, you probably would have expected Darcy to end up being trans if you were the sort of person who believes those basic ass stereotypes about 'boys who play with barbies and girls who play with trucks'. Or i mean maybe its the other way around and Darcy is a trans girl who still has a 'masculine' personality according to stereotypes? Or even both of them are trans and both face being told that they arent real because they dont fit the perfect stereotype of a trans person according to cis perceptions? Or maybe i'm overcomplicating things with all of this and it'd just muddy the message i guess. I might just keep it to them both being cis but also both of them like girls. And i can always apply my trans and other LGBT headcanons to other characters along their adventure.

Anyway LOL im rambling too much!

#lets go bunni #bunni plays lets go

7 notes · View notes

accountantblues · 3 years

Text

Chapter 3 Help is on the way Boys

“ok I went through so much ot put this together I pulled in favors and spent a small fortune to get us tables at Marcos.”

Hera said “marcos you don’t mean Valhalla marcos do you?”

“yes.”

“wow.”

“it was perfect roses his favorite mead music everything.”

“oh please you do too much it was just dinner.”

Kalabhiti threw things off the desk as he screamed “it was our anniversary. the first night I fell in love with you the first night we met when you became a collector but you spent it in a human bar with a bitch name misty instead of me.”

“Kal come down I didn’t know im sorry I forgot.”

“don’t tell me to calm down you will not make me feel like crap anymore for loving you hear me no more I’m over it over us im sick of it hear me sick of it im bored of this!”

”no no you aren’t Kal wait Athen a can you fix us please?”

“there may be a fighting chance but first lets talk about why you missed dinner. an anniversary is important.”

“hmm girl I wish Zeus remembered our damn anniversary not to mention celebrate it.”

“ girl ain’t that the truth you are luck azarel.”

“ I know ok I know.”

“ so whats the problem?”

“ Kal I never had a guy like you I love you you have me wrapped around your finger I do anything for you.”

“ so why did you miss dinner then?” Hera said

Athena said “girl shut up this is getting good poof us some popcorn .”

suddenly Kalabhititook his shirt off “do you not find me attractive anymore ? are you seeing someone else is it hades, Hermes l-oki?”

“ Are you kidding me Kal you are damn near considered a sex god and you are human well as close as you can be anyway.”

“ so then why? because you killed boys all through Malaysia. you burn whole villages to just to watch people die slow so I cant believe it. I cant believe that you refuse to kill some little girl just because she welcomes you. so why her uh why whats the real reason.”

“ you will never understand Kal.”

“You are right.” Kalabhiti stood up dried his tears walked in the room with the girl pulled out a gun and pointed at the girl as he said “I’ll never undsterand.” and pulled the trigger as Azrael screamed in horror “no Kal stop don’t you are wicked Kal truly wicked.”

“ its done we’re done. I’ll have you transferred to another place tomorrow you wont ever see me again .”

suddenly Azrael screamed bloody murder before tackling Kalabhiti back into the office and down to the floor “Hera freeze time now. Athena sit down because you are going to fixthis understand I don’t know your failure rate but this is one relationship you are going to fix Kal sit down and shut up while I tell her what’s going on.”

then he stood up and started to block and bolt the door before he turned over to Athena “so it started like this Kal he he came to me looking wicked at the office he said sweetheart you look good enough to eat and I just might dinner at 7 then he put a folder on my desk. he had already given me 12 earlier that day so this was lucky 13 or unlucky I guess either way I went to my appointments and it was a sinch I arranged for Mr. jasper to take a swan dive off the bridge for Jeffries to choke on a banana and it was simply beautiful when I went to the hospital and she said who are you I said death she said Mr. death I welcome you. a 9 year old welcome me. Will my son welcome death too I thought and I just couldn’t so I burned the paperwork and left.”

“ yeah he left me waiting at the restaurant looking dumb.”

“so what happened Kalabhiti?”

“I got a call from upper management.”

the girls gasped “no you didn’t.”

“ yes they wanted to know why I did‘nt turn in my report yet. I told them my best man was not done yet and it must have taken a few extra hours is all.I waited at the restaurant until the fucking waiter said I don’t think hes coming . do you know how fucked up it feels to hear cupid tell you the love of your life isnt coming to your anniversary dinner to celebrate your happiness so I left the place and begin to track him down and I found him telling his sorrows to a bottle and some damn girl. my heart broke in two.”

“ girl you got that popcorn this is finna to be good ?”

“ your heart broke in two you are full of shit Kal.”

“ excuse me I was only telling her how I felt I wasn’t cheating on you.”

“no you were doing worse.”

“ what did you want from me I had a hard day at work what did you expect?”

“ you are my worker you are my lover what do I expect? I expect my boyfriend to come home home to me to tell me your sorrows you cheated on me emotionally and that’s fucking worse than sleeping with her.”

0 notes

glowstickhaloboy · 7 years

Text

AU where jack is a librarian and bitty accidentally studies

jack loves books. bitty hates studying.

but bitty needs to try something, bc whatever hes doing now is not working, and finals are coming up, so he thinks maybe if he gets some silence and solitude things he needs to know will start sticking

so he goes to the library and lo and behold theres an adonis behind the counter with a pencil tucked behind his ear as he intently reads a biography on Joan of Arc. bitty hears his conscience speak to him in beyonces voice, telling him that this boy is his

but hes a nervous wreck now that he knows theres someone hot here so yeah hes definitely not getting any studying done

except the cute boy doesnt even look up, and bitty remembers that hes probably straight anyway because thats the way the universe likes to be, so he keeps his head down and makes his way to an empty table (but he chooses one that keeps the cute boy in sight, and he isnt sure if thats because he is a masochist or isnt one)

he does his best to vibe this guy, who only looks up from his book when someone comes to check out or ask for the bathroom key, and bitty decides that hes gotta play it cool. that boy likes knowledge, so bitty will have to pretend that he also likes knowledge and isnt absolutely boy crazy, so he opens his textbook and gets down to business, hoping that that cute boy will look over at least and notice how studious this southern young man is

and almost three hours passes where bitty actually studies. he looks at his phone and realizes what hes just tricked himself into doing. he checks back on the cute boy, who is looking at him holy hell it was only for a second and then he quickly looked at his book again and relax eric relax he was probably just zoned out and happened to be staring at your face but maybe he could also sense how good you are at making pies and is deciding whether or not your boyfriend material

its already been three hours, but bitty definitely cannot leave now that developments are taking place

but its only fifteen more minutes before someone else shows up and takes the cute boys place behind the desk. the cute boy walks into the back and comes back with a jacket slung over his shoulder. “see ya, chris,” he says, and bitty wonders if hes being loud enough for his voice to carry on purpose, and when cute boy leaves, bittles insides all start screaming and he wonders if hes being blessed or punished because that boy must do squats or something.

bitty plays it cool for another half hour after that, because he cant look like he was only here because that cute boy was, but hes really only on twitter now. then he packs up his bag and spends the entire walk back to his room thinking about the moment he glanced up and the cute boy glanced down.

and he comes back the next day. bittle may play the slow game, but he has to see where this is going. day one, a glance, and maybe if hes really lucky, by day two he might get a pleasant “good afternoon. welcome to the library.”

he doesnt. he walks right in and sits in the same spot as yesterday, and the cute boy is reading the same book, but bitty tries to keep his face controlled, because this time cute boy looked up as he came in, and unless bittle was reading too much into it, cute boy looked down again as though this wasnt supposed to mean anything, like that was what he wanted bitty to think, but secretly it did.

they continue like this for two weeks, and eric is blessed to discover that the cute boy works a four hour shift every single day. which means theres never a day bittle has to miss out on seeing his sculpted-by-the-gods face.

and then valentines day rolls around.

bitty wonders what in the world am i doing so often while he bakes on february 14th that he knows he has lost any semblance of self-control

he walks into the library thinking the exact same thing, and of course, theres the cute boy, who has moved on to reading an account of the cuban vie for independence from spain, and for the first time, bitty actually approaches the counter

“um, hi,” he says, slightly breathless from the cold, and the cute boy looks up and smiles and says “hi” back. bitty has to ignore his pounding heart and continue on with the words hes been rehearsing since he turned the oven on.

“so, ive been spending a lot of time in the library recently, and i bake a lot, and since today is valentines day, i thought it would be nice to make these cookies for everyone today, so would it be alright if i left these on the counter and people sort of just... helped themselves if they wanted one? i made a card to”

bitty reaches into the basket and holds up a card designed by his friend lardo that reads “happy valentines day! please take one (1)”

the cute boys smile widens, and he says, “yeah. wow, they look great!”

after all the work bitty put into making them, they damn well better. he hasnt worked this hard on a batch of cookies since he campaigned for ninth grade class president. still, he cant help but turn as pink as the frosting on them when the first thing this boy ever says to him is a compliment on his baking.

“its nothin’” says bitty, setting the basket down and stuffing his mittens into his pockets

the cute boy latches onto bittys damnable accent and asks with interest “where are you from?”

“oh, georgia”

“nice. im jack, im from montreal.” he sticks out his hand and bittys suddenly clams up with sweat. oh no this cant be a horrible first handshake, it needs to be warm and nice

bitty decides he has to keep the mitten on, though, because that could be considered cute, right? sweat definitely couldnt. “eric,” he says, and doesnt allow himself to think about the fact that hes just put a bright red mitten in an adonis’s hand. they both seem to be running out of charm, though, so bitty muddles through

“um, they might be a little frozen from the walk over, but they should be good in a few minutes,” he says, then scurries over to his table because two weeks is way too soon to start talking

he distracts himself with literature homework to try to forget what a darn fool he just made himself out to be, but he cant completely tune out the rustling coming from the front desk as jack makes a careful display out of bittles basket and card, even allowing it to block the laminated sign warning patrons the repercussions of keeping overdue books.

a few more students trickle in, and a couple of them go for the basket, and Professor Whitmond tromps in with his two grandkids, who leave covered in powder and sprinkles, but bitty exercises all of his willpower to block it out because he cant believe he did this

but he also wonders if jack is going to take a cookie. hes obsessed with the thought of it. he needs jack to eat one of those cookies and realize that bittle is not just a pretty face. bittles entire body is on high alert, praying for it.

and then it happens. jack reaches into the basket, pulls out a cookie, and takes a bite. bittle thinks, checkmate.

he notices jack glance over at him, and bittle is now confident enough that he chances a bright smile. those cookies are good. they would never have made it out of his kitchen if they werent his best.

jack points at the cookie, his expression one of utter astonishment, and mouths, these are amazing.

bitty raises an eyebrow. i know.

jack makes another expression of astonishment, then waves bitty to go back to his studying. bitty pretends to, but really, hes wondering if bringing in a batch of cookies every friday would be too much.

(he does it anyway)

fridays become the staple of his relationship with jack. bittle brings in a basket of cookies, jack says something that makes bittle wonder if hes flirting or teasing, and bittle feels satisfaction drop into his gut as jack helps himself to the first of the bunch. there has never been a day where every cookie is not eaten.

and then jack changes the schedule. bitty comes in on friday with his usual basket, and jack says, “Eric. I had a question.” and bittles heart starts thumping in its stupid, traitorous way, and jack continues, “About these cookies...” and bitty thinks, oh great, theyre too much, hes only been pretending to like them for my benefit, enough is enough, “Would you mind making me a batch to send to Montreal? My parents want to try them.”

and bittys mind goes completely blank. Something about the way Jack says it completely straight throws bitty off guard. Because, yeah, hes caught on to the fact that Jack can be a bit socially awkward, but this definitely takes the proverbial cake.

“Your parents?” asks Bittle. “How do they know about my cookies?”

“I told them,” says jack, as if its obvious. “We call every friday night, and I always talk about your cookies.”

Bitty’s mind hurriedly re-writes his knowledge of the past few weeks to include the fact that Jack From The Library Has Been Speaking To His Parents About His Cookies And Now Jack’s Parents (IN MONTREAL!) Want To Eat Them.

“So, would that be too weird?” asks Jack.

“Not at all!” says Bitty, laughing slightly because hes terrified. “I can bring some in tomorrow if youd like!”

Its only when Jack smiles that Bitty feels relieved, like hes successfully navigated a minefield correctly. “Thatd be great!” says Jack. “I’ll pay you, if you want, to cover the cost of the ingredients-”

Bitty waves him away. “That’s not necessary, Jack, I’d love to.”

he goes to his seat and cuts his study time in half because he cant stop freaking out about making baked goods for jacks parents, who have never met him, and need to decide within their first taste whether bittle has any worth in their sons life

hes up half the night, and it definitely shows on his face when he brings into the library the next day. all he wants to do is say get them out of my sight.

jack accepts them with a confused look on his face, thanks bittle as bittle marches to his table and begins spreading out his books

oh yeah, and bitty has been getting weirdly good grades since all this started?? it turns out that bi-weekly flirting is the perfect reward for someone who needs to study more. his test scores have gone up dramatically, and even his GPA has gotten a modest boost.

thats only the secondary goal here, though, his real goal has always been getting jack to notice him

for three days, including baking night, bittle sleeps horribly, angsting over what jacks parents - whoever they even are - will think of his cookies. on monday, he gets his answer

“Eric!” jack greets as bittle walks into the library. hes smiling wide. “ive been told to tell you that youre moving to montreal to become my parents’ personal dessert chef.”

relief smacks into bitty like a forty-pound fist. he feels slightly whoozy. “they liked them?” he repeats.

jack just stares at him. “Eric. Have you ever had one of your cookies before.”

“No, I mean, well, yes, obviously I have, but it’s just that I’m always worried whenever new people try them that they’ll hate them, and since baking is the only thing I’m really good at, it’s important to me that people, you know, like my stuff.”

“Eric,” Jack says, for what feels like the thousandth time. “Everything you make is incredible. And baking isn’t all you’re good at. You study like a champion.” He offers Eric a fist bump.

Eric takes it for what it is, a sign of friendship, as he belatedly registers that Jack just called his baking skills amazing. Even if the boy is straight, he knows how to play Eric like a fiddle. And Eric is just gone enough to let it happen.

spring weather is finally setting in, and bitty starts to think about just how many days hes spent in the library this year, all so he can gawk at a boy he doesnt have a chance with. all this time, and he couldve been actually out there looking for someone who will genuinely be with him and make him happy.

he stops going to the library on a tuesday. by friday, he feels bad because the people on campus have come to expect his cookies every week, and he owes it to them to keep their stomachs satisfied with finals approaching. he makes a batch, not knowing what hes going to say to jack, or if jack will even care that bitty has been out by the pond enjoying his afternoons with his friends instead of hanging out inside.

he walks in with his basket, and jack seems to look both relieved and slightly cross. “Eric,” he says, because thats all he ever says. “You haven’t been here.”

Bitty shrugs. “I made cookies,” he says, and offers Jack the basket.

Jack’s brow furrows. “Is something wrong?” he asks.

“No,” says Bitty, which, because he doesn’t know what on Earth he’s feeling, is almost the truth.

Somewhat stunned into silence, Jack accepts the basket Bitty offers him and watches Bitty leave again. Bitty walks until he’s out of sight of the library, then sits on the nearest bench and wipes his eyes. He’s being ridiculous. There was literally never even anything between him and Jack. It was all made up in Bitty’s head, a fabrication based on a few standard conversations and lies garnered by baked goods. Maybe Bitty is crying because he’s such a fool. Why did he waste so much time on a needless fantasy? What was wrong with him.

“Well,” he mumbles to himself, standing. “At least your grades went up.”

this is the part where he looks up, hoping that jack might have followed him and was now waiting, out of breath, to say something meaningful and restore all of bitty’s hopes. but the sidewalk is empty, and bitty is left exactly like normal--creating a version of jack that doesnt exist based on the picture he has in his head

he goes back at the end of the day, when he knows jack will be gone, to collect his cookie basket from the library. a boy named chris hands it to him. “yeah, thanks for bringing these in today!” says chris. “the guy i work with seemed kinda down, so i think he needed a pick me up. i mean, he said that theyre for the patrons, but i got him to eat one, and i could tell he even felt better afterwards. theyre super good! i mean, i always ate them, i didnt know jack didnt, but-”

“thanks,” said bitty. he thought that if he didnt interrupt, this young man would never have stopped talking. “er, thats sweet of you.”

so for three weeks, bitty only comes in on fridays to drop off cookies. he and jack dont say a lot to each other. but as bittys mood steadily improves, jacks mood steadily worsens.

im healing, bitty thinks as he walks in on the third friday. that wasnt healthy, eric, it was sensible to get out of that.

“hey jack,” he says happily, setting the basket of cookies on the counter. “special delivery.”

jack squints at him for a moment, with a smile that seems more like a grimace. “thanks,” is all he says. he says it in a very particular way. flat. thanks.

bitty’s brow furrows. he thinks about asking, but he grew up in the hospitable south, where the popular motto was let everyone get on with their own business or get cussed out for pryin’. “um. youre welcome.”

he almost walks out, then shouts screw it! in his mind and turns around. “are you mad or somethin’?”

jack looks up as though feigning ignorance. all the lines on his face look hard. he sighs. “no, eric. its nothing to worry about. thanks for the cookies.”

“because my mama used to teach me lessons in passive aggressive bullshit when i used her pan sheets without askin’.”

“its nothing. its me. have a good day.”

“only she never tried to brush me off when i wanted to talk to her about it.”

jack considers him. “you dont come into the library anymore,” he admitted. “im not mad at you, im just... grumpy.”

bitty has to fight hard to keep his heart bolted down. he misses his friend, he tells himself. do. not. read. into. it.

“Oh,” says Bitty. “I, um. I didn’t mean to make you upset. Er. Have you been reading anything good recently?”

jack defrosts a little and they have a nice conversation about the true crime novel jacks gotten into. bitty feels a little bad for ghosting him, and maybe he misjudged things a little by saying there was nothing there, because hey certainly got along well, but he wasnt naive enough to think there was any use kidding himself about something romantic.

by the end of it, jacks laughing, and eric finds it in himself to giggle along too, and it feels like a nice resolution. maybe you cant have it all, eric thinks, but you can have this.

he bids jack goodbye, feeling better about the whole mess, glad that he said something.

at the end of the day, chris returns bittys basket, and bitty cant help but ask how jack was today. all chris says is, “Glowing.”

For the first time, bitty and jack run into each other outside the library. theyre at the campus coffee shop, perhaps both gearing up for finals week, and jack is leaving just as bitty is entering.

“Eric,” says Jack, genuinely smiling. Bitty’s smile is also completely real.

“Jack.”

“It’s weird, but it just kind of clicked for me that you’re a real person,” says Jack, then makes a soft face of pain. “I mean, obviously you’re a real person, but I’d only ever seen you at the library before. Now that we’re somewhere else-”

“I get it,” bitty assures him. “Are you working there next year, too?”

Jack shrugs. “Who knows? I’d like to, but someone with work-study might take my place. I’m always getting yelled at for reading when I should be re-shelving books. And I get cookie dust all over the counter on Fridays.”

Blushing, Eric says, “That is entirely your fault and no one else is responsible for that.”

“Not at all.” He’s still smiling, which Bitty thinks is ridiculous. “Are you doing anything right now?”

Bitty gestures to the line ahead of him. “Buying coffee,” he says.

“Anything else?” Jack clarifies. Bitty shakes his head. “I’ll wait with you. We can sit down and drink it together.”

He has to know what he’s doing, Bitty thinks. Once again, blind hope fills his chest and Bitty says, “Sure. That’d be nice.”

by the time their cups are drained, theyre too deep in conversation to move. when a pause comes, however, jack clears his throat. “Um. Actually. Eric. I, um, just wanted to clarify something, because I think I didn’t before.”

Bitty sighs dramatically. “I knew it. You’re using me because your parents want more cookies.”

Jack’s laugh is music for Bitty’s soul. “They seriously have not stopped asking about you since I sent those cookies. I didn’t know what to say to them when you stopped coming to the library.”

Bitty turns a little quieter. “Sorry about that,” he says. not because he feels sorry for not going, but because hes sorry that jack was hurt because of it.

“It’s okay, Eric, really,” Jack says, and hes so earnest that bitty believes he means it. “Anyway, what I wanted to say was, I think I didn’t clarify that when I asked you to sit down. You know. With our coffees. I sort of intended that to be. You know. Asking you out for coffee. Because I think you’re great.”

Bitty’s heart starts beating triple-time. His eyes turn to saucer plates. “This entire time, I was trying so hard to convince myself that you would never be into me!” he all but shouts. “I couldn’t deal with having a crush on a straight boy so I avoided the library like the plague.”

Jack blinks. “I never told you I was straight, Eric.” It’s not a reprimand, but it also totally is. Bitty puts his head in his hands.

“I thought I was being a fool for one thing,” he says, “but I was being a fool for something else entirely. I am so sorry, Jack.”

“You could make it up to me by letting me buy your coffee next time.”

Eric peeks at him through the gaps in his fingers. “Don’t try to fool me into thinking you’re smooth, Mr. Zimmermann. I know you too well.”

#what even is bittys name why does he have so many good luck following that #zimbits #zimbits au #thats all i got on this one otherwise i will be literally incapable of shutting the fuck up and this will go on far longer than anyone wants #(it already has done that tho)#eric bittle #jack zimmermann #omgcp #check please #library au #fuck you this is 3k words ive spent two hours on it im not proofreading deal with it

2K notes · View notes

bookloversreviewer · 4 years

Text

“The wildly talented Jewel E. Ann consistency finds a way to level up. Every book she writes leaves me desperate for more! The Life That Mattered is a must-read." - Ella James, USA Today bestselling author

The Life That Mattered, an all-new emotional and poignant novel from Jewel E. Ann, is available now!

Sex isn’t love.

Love isn’t sex.

And friendship is neither.

The son of a French Olympic skier and a Malaysian fashion designer, Ronin Alexander has lived the life of a nomad, traveling the world to find his next adventure.

Life takes a dramatic turn when he meets Evelyn, a beautiful scientist who owns a bath shop in Aspen, Colorado. They defy all the rules of relationships, falling hard and quickly in love.

Their world intertwines with Evelyn’s two best friends, the Governor and his soon-to-be wife. The four become close—very close.

When tragedy strikes, things from their pasts are unveiled—unimaginable truths and the grim realization that life will never be the same.

Jewel E. Ann steps into another dimension with this mind-bending thriller, a provocative story that pushes boundaries and tests the true meaning of love.

Download your copy today or read FREE in Kindle Unlimited!

Amazon: https://amzn.to/370vtIT

Amazon Worldwide: http://mybook.to/LifeMattered

Amazon Paperback: https://amzn.to/37132uz

Add The Life That Mattered to Goodreads: http://bit.ly/2QUyoN5

Pre-order The Life You Stole, releasing February 20th, now!

Amazon: https://amzn.to/31w0kf7

Amazon Worldwide: http://mybook.to/TheLifeyouStole

Add THE LIFE YOU STOLE to Goodreads: http://bit.ly/3bgXmQ7

Excerpt

I wasn’t opposed to the occasional drunken one-night stand, but not with Evelyn. We weren’t drunk, and I wasn’t okay with an arbitrary time in the future that I may or may not see her again.

“I’ll walk you to your door,” Evelyn said as she turned off her Jeep.

“God …” I laughed, shaking my head. “That’s messed up. Now I feel a huge urgency to get my own vehicle. I think I’ll go tomorrow to buy one just so you don’t ever have to walk me to my door again.”

She climbed out. “I don’t have to stop at your door. We don’t have to play by the rules of dating. I think we’re past that age. How old are you?”

I found her hand and led her to the front door. “Thirty-five.”

“I’m thirty-four. Have you ever been married?”

We stopped at my door and faced each other. “No. You?”

She shook her head. “The rules don’t apply once you’re past thirty.”

“The rules?”

Evelyn grinned. “The courting shit. The baseball game.”

“The baseball game?” My head canted to the side.

“Yeah. The sexual bases? First base is kissing. Second base is—”

“Yes.” I fished my keys from my pocket. “I’m familiar with the bases.”

“Well, I don’t know if you’re a fan of baseball or not, but I am.”

I unlocked my door and motioned for her to go inside.

She wet her lips and stepped into my condo without an ounce of hesitation. “You’re inviting me in. So you are a fan of baseball.”

Not so much. Skiing, football (soccer), rugby, cycling, tennis … but not baseball. However, something told me Evelyn might make me a baseball fan.

“Are you sure you’re living here?” She glanced around at the sparse furnishings of my two-bedroom condo.

“I never stay in one place long. No need to own much. It’s just that much more to sell or move.”

Books.

I owned books and a place to sit and read them. My parents didn’t believe in letting Julien and I watch television while we were growing up. Julien embraced art. I embraced fiction—mysteries and sci-fi.

“What do you consider not long?” She ran her fingers along the back of my leather recliner before dropping her bag to the floor and slipping off her jacket.

“Three to five years is a nice stay.” I tossed my coat onto one of two barstools at my kitchen counter.

“Okay. So our marriage will be short.” Her teeth trapped her full bottom lip.

“Probably.”

I’d dated enough women to know there existed a sequence of events that took place way before the M word should ever be discussed. I’d never reached the point of discussing the M word. Not even with my longest relationship, which lasted two years.

Two years and we didn’t talk about marriage.

I was out of my realm of experience with Evelyn. We joked about marriage, but who joked about that? Then there was a baseball discussion happening, and I didn’t even like baseball, but I waited with restless anticipation for Evelyn to make her point. Something told me it could be brilliant.

“Kenny was a guy I dated my first year in college. He played baseball.”

I could not have cared less about this Kenny guy, but he brought her back to the baseball talk, so I folded my arms over my chest, leaned against the counter, and gave her my full attention as she walked in slow circles around my furniture. A predator with calculated moves.

Who was I to judge? I walked into her shop that day and basically said we needed to expedite our dating status—laid out my plans to eat dinner with her, close down bars, and sip hot chocolate.

“He was a solid hitter. Always got on base, but he never hit a home run. I honestly think he lacked the confidence to go for it. His coaches told him to just get on base, so that’s what he did because that’s what you do when you’re young like that. You spend a lot of time on the bases.”

Were we still talking about baseball in the literal sense?

“I think once you hit your thirties, no one should judge if you just hit it out of the park your first time up to bat.” Her lips twisted as she stopped in front of me. “The goal is to hit it home. If you can do that, then why the hell not, right?”

I thought I understood the metaphor. But if I was wrong, I could get thrown out of the game.

“Can I get you a drink?”

Evelyn shook her head.

My eyes narrowed, studying her for a few seconds.

“First base is fine.” She shrugged.

Fuck me …

About Jewel

Jewel is a free-spirited romance junkie with a quirky sense of humor.

With 10 years of flossing lectures under her belt, she took early retirement from her dental hygiene career to stay home with her three awesome boys and manage the family business.

After her best friend of nearly 30 years suggested a few books from the Contemporary Romance genre, Jewel was hooked. Devouring two and three books a week but still craving more, she decided to practice sustainable reading, AKA writing.

When she’s not donning her cape and saving the planet one tree at a time, she enjoys yoga with friends, good food with family, rock climbing with her kids, watching How I Met Your Mother reruns, and of course…heart-wrenching, tear-jerking, panty-scorching novels.

Connect with Jewel

Facebook: http://bit.ly/2Qzj2iq

Twitter: http://bit.ly/2urUQG0

Instagram: http://bit.ly/2ZZwpLD

BookBub: http://bit.ly/2s4ftr1

Stay up to date with Jewel by joining her mailing list:

http://bit.ly/2FpGXdA

http://www.jeweleann.com

0 notes

juliusjxxw694-blog · 5 years

Text

The Most Influential People in the naughty dating sites Industry and Their Celebrity Dopplegangers

I guessed I'd make a video clip with this because to the simple fact that I'm seeing it happen over and over and repeatedly. Um dating programs are somewhat fun. They are actually good for meeting people. I met with a few people on vacation programs along with also one. I'm currently just talking for you and see where it moves from there.

I have been around MeetMe Scout. I don't believe light is definitely considered it relationship nonetheless. hinge. Fumble lots of Fish tender and Babu all those programs plus it evidently you'll find people who pretending to be somebody they aren't and they are fake profiles Galore. I am actually into a single. That is how I achieved all his title is.

Um biggest thing I can say is make sure you meet the individual inperson. Or video something to learn they're real if they don't really that is major big large large crimson that you need to just block them as you're perhaps not even be well worth your time headache and whatever you do never ever provide these guys money don't do that as it is seeking trouble and definitely not offer me your bank details God.

I used to be dumb enough to do so this and guess what happened wound up my on-line entry be shrunk since I had been moving through personal issues and also, I think it's because I was lonely during the full time and that I had been falling all it frankly , I drank lots. Therefore that's most likely why I had been dumb enough to do this.

But um failed to capture a superior approach to meet people also it's interesting to use and to consult a range of unique folks. They're but you got to bear in mind there are persons available pretending me a few they aren't like online romance Gamers. They may take random pictures of all people. And pretend for them it truly is horrible and it's really sad and the major thing you want to be on the watch for is whether they asked one to move on to hang outs that is a huge red flag.

That means that there are skimmer and you also shouldn't expect him at all. Okay, and as for military people extends they will have real military IDs and they have a true military e-mail which entered scatter mil. Plus they can also video. They really don't desire your cash. They when they go on make that you don't need to cover them or believe a fiance forms.

That's all bullshit. It really is lies. Ok, http://andresxvdf696.edublogs.org/2019/10/18/addicted-to-naughty-video-chat-us-too-6-reasons-we-just-cant-stop/ also if his daughters is just like sick sick or anything military care of those. They do not want your funds. Do not want your dollars. I don't and for book of Praise. You will see like examples of why never to give your bank information along with examples of the reason you shouldn't simply help pay for stuff and everything.

I suggest that this cameras may like well, hey, I need money because of the fact that there's these very little that little girls and needs a heart transplant also this also it is bullshit. They simply want your funds. They'll declare they adore you in just a few months or less. I am talking about you do know that these folks you have met in person.

And when I informed her freaking argued together at the end of this. He was simply like nicely like dude, you stole money from me personally and my parents. You'll find absolutely nothing you may say that will ever make me move straight back to believe on your bullshit. You're probably just some stupid scammer Nigerian and I really don't need any component of it.

Also the block switches really so convenient and that's the reason why I closed my Google+ account due to the fact he kept about becoming if you ask me personally and getting me. And that I will have another person due to the fact I want to watch these so stay protected. Ok meet in person. Um, what else did I really do? Ok public place versus properly. I meanyou don't know these guys.

So with a few of the people I meet up with me I met in a public location and then I got to understand like Hey, he is really the guy in my own or her profile. So you know what? He's actually another person. I really can speak with he isn't a man feign to be somebody he isn't he doesn't require the money. No Thing like that and it's way different for your requirements can not perform long distance.

Just like I have I've achieved long distance ahead of and I am like no, I'm not gon na na do that . I am talking about you do not need a bogus relationship using a fake guy do you know, and they could say fine things and mention that are coming. But if you pay for a plane ticket, they will most likely likely not reveal up.

Okay, do not expect them if you don't meet them person inperson. Ok meet men and women personally because that's not the sole for sure method to learn they're them. Okay, and that goes for oil catalog folks. I mean, they aren't going to want your hard earned money for anything. They are surviving in what is paidfor honestly.

I mean, I don't know anything concerning petroleum replacements, but I guess they have enough capital to take care of his physician sure as hell do not want your assistance at all. They create more than enough income to take care of on their own. Okay, so they require money iTunes GiftCards anything. Just just just block em block em and rescue yourself the trouble because practically nothing should come for it also and it's really perhaps not a real relationship and also don't fake before you so will help establish to me proved to me.

He'll not I was under the belief that he would prove it to me personally and he never did. He only kept making excuse after excuse paid for money so they is able to access our telephone number. Oh, I forgot a few components you have made and also we finally have the sim-card exactly what goes on the entire takes it away. Due evidently they observed his frequencies .

It was pushed up. He was never going in the future here. He lied after which in the event you would have experimented with that he would have had as general or anything make up any crap about not achieving so. They're all fake fake fake fake. And that I have to also any other big documents do because I've also seen a lot of additional stuff that claims that they have been imitation stay safe.

And should you meet somebody on vacation apps left him a locally. Please meet up with them locally make sure you can see them personally as the distance item will drive you mad. I can't get it done I burned myself time and time again. I can not do distance. Okay, I received Id have someone local there as I'm depressed or sad or using a brand new day on the job you know, I would need some body with my own side.

Ok, okay. So yeah, just a few methods to inform if they're scammer. Honestlythey bad English they say Instead of I am they will also like move matters overly fast. They'll ask for the money. What else will they perform?

They'll go too quickly. Ok they will proceed extremely rapidly. In fact. Plus they'll soon be fine and inform you that which you think you wish to listen merely to get your income and utilize you. Please do me a favor match people in person stay protected. And when you have a mobile in the online dating web sites nice, however at the same time just be attentive.

Ok, do not give him the money give a few dollars. You haven't met in person. Ok, or whatsoever. The truth is that I am talking about, they should have the ability to take care of themselves or they ought to take you to a date. Which makes you want only chose him pay for you to consider a necessity to take one on a given date. Okay, but look for a raven goes to become interesting because of the truth that it has actually matters from a reallife stammered which I've spoke to plus it surely will have a few tips at the end to remain safe online plus it's going also have my narrative mainly because I think that would be.

Very very essential do want for folks to see exactly what did everything they went through and it is going to even go through money-laundering because it truly is after all that I must not truly brag about that. But yeah, I didn't know I had been doing this. I thought it had been innocent, but no it was not innocent in any respect, and it might have possibly get me prison time, but that I didn't go to jail for it thankfully.

And I told the bank what is going on plus it even detective dude. I filed a fine I-II record everything. Therefore yeah, don't be stupid don't ship them cash and you can find a lot of troopers out there. Regrettably with fake profiles and it's not their fault. Oahu is the people driving the profiles that the men and women who steal their profiles and convey it is them plus it's really not and there are a lot of methods to inform they're not called colleagues.

They're called conflict . Also should they say things about C AMP and that's powerful, I think that it's bullshit because a lot of the days they are in buildings that are actual. Ok, and there is absolutely nothing like a senior man also which has been made from bullshit. He also would have explained if he was not E3 E4 E5 or some of these military stipulations , you would have done that or he would have already been as a team sergeant now, I bear in mind hmm team sergeant.

Or his MOS ask him to get his MOS. In the event that you fail to answer this, he is a scammer. One of the dudes I spoke to was like, oh, so I am not likely to inform you I have friends who are military. It is like I know exactly the tricks you guys are getting to be yanking and stay meticulous query . Ok.

Effectively, they're untrue profile. It's possible for you to question everything and person. But is just a different story just get to understand these and take it slow do not jump to things. I'm bad custom of jumping in and look that's got mepersonally. No, do not do it. But um, I hope you liked this film also I can not wait until book speed for Praise is revealing to individuals I'm working on this.

Therefore it probably can take me a opportunity for you to until I print it. But , I'll see one of that the next video stay protected comments. Follow me on Twitter contribute to my own videos. It has only a tiny bell icon. That means you're never going to skip a video clip and should you have any experiences using these scammers simply put these in the reviews do.

You know exactly what make everybody conscious of that it create everyone aware of signs to look on it and everything else, and I will notice you in the next movie. Bye.

A SUPER UNIQUE Spin:

I guessed I would earn a video clip with this on account to the simple fact I'm watching it occur again and again over and repeatedly. U M dating programs are somewhat all fun. They truly are actually fantastic for fulfilling individuals. I met with a lot of individuals on vacation programs along with also one. I am now only talking for you personally and determine exactly where it moves from that point.

I have been around MeetMe Scout. Idon't believe light is genuinely believed it relationship nonetheless. hinge. Fumble a lot of tender and Babu every one those programs also it seemingly you'll find those who faking to be someone they aren't plus they truly are bogus profiles Galore. I am actually into a single. That is the way I satisfied all his title is.

The largest factor I could say is be sure that you satisfy the individual inperson. Or video some thing to understand they're real should they don't really that is major big large large crimson that you must si

youtube

#naughty dating

0 notes

my-insanity-is-irrelevant · 7 years

Note

The same to you - all of them 🎃

200: My crush’s name is: Ryan, Eli, Claire, several others I cant name for complicated reasons

199: I was born in: 1997/a hospital

198: I am really: Intense weather in my calmness or excitement

197: My cellphone company is: T-Mobile

196: My eye color is: Light green

195: My shoe size is: 9 1/2 wide (i usually have to do like a 11 for high heals)

194: My ring size is: ??????? probably big I have chubby fingers

193: My height is: 5′ 6″

192: I am allergic to: nothing unless you count idiocy

191: My 1st car was: A blue 2007 Ford Focus and I LOVED her

190: My 1st job was: A server for Cheddar’s Casual Cafe

189: Last book you read: How to Ruin Everything by George Watsky 10/10

188: My bed is: A king with lots o’ pillows and blankets and is very comfy

187: My pet: 2 cats, 5 kittens, 6 dogs, 2 snakes, 1 bearded dragon, 1 leopard gecko, 4 turtles, 1 bullfrog tadpole, and bunches of fish

186: My best friend: is a boy i met a month ago because i have intimacy issues

185: My favorite shampoo is: Dead Sea’s Argon oil shampoo is so good to my poor dry curls

184: Xbox or ps3: I use an Xbox to watch Netflix but I don’t play video games

183: Piggy banks are: Cute decorations but go unused

182: In my pockets: $2, some lint, a rubber band, and something weird i took out of my dog’s mouth earlier

181: On my calendar: I have nothing written in it but it has cool pictures of bears

180: Marriage is: Cool because of the financial benefits but other than that unnecessary to prove one’s love. I want a wedding though because I want a pretty dress

179: Spongebob can: Make me hate my life a 3am

178: My mom: Died of breast cancer and smoked a lot of pot

177: The last three songs I bought were? I can’t remember ever paying for music but the last three i listened to are: Cherry Wine by Hozier, Strong As An Oak by Watsky, and San Cristobal by Mal Blum

176: Last YouTube video watched: A slam poem by Neil Hilborn called Liminality

175: How many cousins do you have? I have no clue? At least 10 on each side, but i’m sure there’s way more than that

174: Do you have any siblings? 2 older brothers, 2 older sisters, ans one younger sister

173: Are your parents divorced? They were never married

172: Are you taller than your mom? Nope! She was like 5′10′

171: Do you play an instrument? I can play hot cross buns on the recorder and thats the best i can do

170: What did you do yesterday? I slept and ate beef jerky[ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: No, but i do believe in lust and infatuation at first site. I think love takes time to grow.

168: Luck: Yes like, as in karma

167: Fate: Catch me in the right mood and i do

166: Yourself: NOOOOOPE

165: Aliens: Yes

164: Heaven: No

163: Hell: Yes, it’s called Texas

162: God: Naaaaah

161: Horoscopes: I think they’re accurate generalizations

160: Soul mates: Yeah but not like the traditional; kind of way, i think we have lots of people we’re meant to be with in various ways

159: Ghosts: Yes and No i go back and forth

158: Gay Marriage: 100%

157: War:0%

156: Orbs: Idk what this is talking about but sure, ill root for them

155: Magic: No, Im a science gal[ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: Hugs

153: Drunk or High: High, drinking gives me a tummy ache

152: Phone or Online: Online

151: Red heads or Black haired: Red heads

150: Blondes or Brunettes: Brunettes

149: Hot or cold: Cold

148: Summer or winter: Winter

147: Autumn or Spring: Autumn

146: Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla

145: Night or Day: Night

144: Oranges or Apples: Apples

143: Curly or Straight hair: Curly

142: McDonalds or Burger King: Mcdonald’s

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: White Chocolate is the key to my heart

140: Mac or PC: PC

139: Flip flops or high heels: HIgh heels even though i cant walk in them

138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: Sweet and poor

137: Coke or Pepsi: Coke

136: Hillary or Obama: Obama

135: Burried or cremated: Cremated, the idea of rotting creeps me out

134: Singing or Dancing: Dancing but im bad at both

133: Coach or Chanel: Idgaf

132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: ??????

131: Small town or Big city: Big city

130: Wal-Mart or Target: Wal-Mart

129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: I hate Adam Sandler

128: Manicure or Pedicure: Manicure

127: East Coast or West Coast: West Coast

126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas all the waaaaaay

125: Chocolate or Flowers: Flowers, preferably potted

124: Disney or Six Flags: Disney i’m scared of roller coasters

123: Yankees or Red Sox: I dont sports[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: Its stupid and bad and i hate violence

121: George W. Bush: Okay, looook, i dig his paintings, okay???

120: Gay Marriage: gimme that shit i want that shit

119: The presidential election: I could be down for violence against trump

118: Abortion: everyone should have safe access to abortions, they save lives

117: MySpace: I never had one? Does it still exist? I may make one for fun?

116: Reality TV: i dont ever watch it, i avoid it like the plauge

115: Parents: Mine were grade A shit

114: Back stabbers: What goes around comes around

113: Ebay: I use Amazon

112: Facebook: Its filled with my racist family, i avoid it

111: Work: I watch my niece and nephew (twins) and i love it

110: My Neighbors: I don’t interact with them ever

109: Gas Prices: why so expensive pls give me break

108: Designer Clothes: catch me in wal-mart clothes i bough 4 years ago

107: College: I want but cant afford halp

106: Sports: no

105: My family: I love them but they fkn annoy the shit out of me with their political views

104: The future: stop.[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: My niece yesterday

102: Last time you ate: I am eating a bowl of mac n’ cheese right now

101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: I saw my sister’s in-laws last week and i loooooove them! I made slime with the kids

100: Cried in front of someone: When i found out my ex was cheating on me like two months ago

99: Went to a movie theater: Went on a date with a cute boi like a month ago and w saw Baby Driver it was so good

98: Took a vacation: The only vacation ive ever took in my life was with my ex and his family to Florida last summer

97: Swam in a pool: Less than a week ago

96: Changed a diaper: Yesterday, i change them for a living

95: Got my nails done:last summer

94: Went to a wedding: My oldest sister got married last week!

93: Broke a bone: when i was like 3????

92: Got a peircing: two weeks ago i got my nipples done

91: Broke the law: this morning when i got high

90: Texted: Im texting cute bbs right now[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: My boi Ryan who is a fkn idiot i love him

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: I already left home and only miss having someone else cook and clean because my roomates are hopeless

87: The last movie I saw: The Last Five Years

86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: When i can move far north and start a loving and respectful communist sex cult

85: The thing im not looking forward to: Getting up for work at 5 in the morning

84: People call me: lame

83: The most difficult thing to do is: exist

82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: i sure haven’t i’m Safe

81: My zodiac sign is: Libra

80: The first person i talked to today was: Ryan

79: First time you had a crush: i liked a boy named Antonio in second grade

78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: no one?

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: Ryan last night when we said a stupid Ricks and Morty quote at the same time

76: Right now I am talking to: my cat Beatrice

75: What are you going to do when you grow up: probably cry a lot

74: I have/will get a job: working with kids!

73: Tomorrow: I will be very tired

72: Today: I am very tired

71: Next Summer: I will be very hot

70: Next Weekend: Im going to tie ppl up with rope

69: I have these pets: see 187

68: The worst sound in the world: A baby crying because they’re hurt or sad

67: The person that makes me cry the most is: my ex inbox me for his url so you can tell him hes a meanie

66: People that make you happy: My nieces and nephews and also my bff

65: Last time I cried: last night because the damn dog was so cute

64: My friends are: amazing and deserve the world

63: My computer is: slow and bad but i still love her

62: My School: was down the road from a prison, which my mom was in years ago

61: My Car: is old and smells like my mom’s cigarettes

60: I lose all respect for people who: are racist, homophobic, sexist, trans-phobic, Islamophobic, anti-semetic, ect.

59: The movie I cried at was: the beginning of Guardians of the Galaxy

58: Your hair color is: Auburn

57: TV shows you watch: Game of Thrones, Criminal Minds, Sense 8

56: Favorite web site: tumblr.com

55: Your dream vacation: stargazing in Alaska

54: The worst pain I was ever in was: when i fucked up my siatic nerve in a car wreck in January

53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium-well

52: My room is: cold and messy and covered in kittens

51: My favorite celebrity is: Harry Styles

50: Where would you like to be: on a beach in Iceland with a person playing a ukulele

49: Do you want children: Only if i have more than one long term partner living with me

48: Ever been in love: Yes

47: Who’s your best friend: see 186 its Ryan

46: More guy friends or girl friends: no

45: One thing that makes you feel great is: when my cat comes to me and just lays where shes barely touching me

44: One person that you wish you could see right now: My best friend from high school who committed suicide

43: Do you have a 5 year plan: no

42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: no

41: Have you pre-named your children: I want to name my kid Coraline but id also like to do something not defined by a single gender?

40: Last person I got mad at: My sister because she left the dogs inside all day while i was at work even though shes a stay at home mom and so the poor things had accidents and no one was happy

39: I would like to move to: Canada

38: I wish I was a professional: mom[ My Favorites ]37: Candy: white chocolate truffles

36: Vehicle: vintage beatles

35: President: Alexander Hamilton

34: State visited: Florida

33: Cellphone provider: ?????

32: Athlete: ?????

31: Actor: Nat Wolf

30: Actress: Maise willams

29: Singer: Radical Face/Hozier

28: Band: Bad Books

27: Clothing store: Wal-mart

26: Grocery store: Joe-V’s Smart Shop

25: TV show: Game of Thrones

24: Movie: Swiss Army Man

23: Website: see 56

22: Animal: Monitors

21: Theme park: i dont do theme parks

20: Holiday: Halloween

19: Sport to watch: does Yuri on Ice count?

18: Sport to play: no

17: Magazine: i don’t read magazines but i heard Teen Vogue is doing wonders

16: Book: The Kite Runner

15: Day of the week: Wednesday’s Child is Full of Woe

14: Beach: wherever i was in Florida

13: Concert attended: Warped Tour 2015 there was a band called Onwards ect. it was so good

12: Thing to cook: homemade flour tortillas

11: Food: Cheese enchiladas

10: Restaurant: This cute little place named Marianne’s thats down the road from my house she makes the best tamales

9: Radio station: 94.5 The Buzz

8: Yankee candle scent: Clean Linen

7: Perfume: i dont

6: Flower: Lilies

5: Color: pink

4: Talk show host: Steve Harvey

3: Comedian: John Mulaney

2: Dog breed: Pit Bulls

1: Did you answer all these truthfully? 100%

#ask #nydcreep

2 notes · View notes

cheskalagran · 5 years

Text

BYE 2018

This year has got to be the year jampacked with EVERYTHING. I might have the same motivation to write now but i gotta try for my future self. (bcos yaknow everything that I dont write eventually gets forgotten and i have no way of remembering, it just turns into a blank patch in my mind lyk 2017 lol) whatever happend to 2017??? i was scrolling through this blog and i didnt find any 2017 posts lol what??? was i in a trans or??? idk i have no memory of new year 2017. well i dont want that to happen to 2018 because theres just so much that happened so here it goes.

JANUARY- I started the year in qc.

Jan 2- I saw Mamsh for the first time in uptc. We bought my very first film roll. n Agfa Vista 200 in Satchmi.

Jan 7- i put my first film roll in. took a few shots. oh and im back in marinduque

Jan14 to the end of the month- im just in duque doing normal stuff i guess idk. More MSC days. I was really stressed about being irreg. lol

FEBRUARY-

feb 2 i went to Manila for the opening of Arts Month. IT WAS SO GREAT I NEVER FELT SO ALIVE IT WAS WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED, to live each waking day to be exposed to art. agh fun tyms. i spent 5 days in Bayview and everyday i went to luneta park for workshops and other shennanigans. While this was all happening i was also shooting for our Trends and Network (?) (subject) video. Reg was my partner in this video we were supposed to put a vissual on a poem our prof gave us.

feb 3

first time to eat yellow watermelon.

went to a baybayin writing workshop and learned how to write baybayin yay

saw autotelic, better days, sud and ben and ben that night

FEB 4- still there

feb 5- attended poetry night and saw mike coroza. saw mamsh again today and we went to national museum. It was the last day of arts month.

feb 6- i went home to duque

Feb 7- i edited my footage

~idk what date but hahaha the video i edited got 75 loooool but our prof gave us another chance to edit the shit.

feb 14- mundo- iv of spades was released. idk how this is relevant to me lol but yeah it was released on this day.

feb 17- UP fair that i wasnt able to go to. Finals week is near im so stressedt

feb 20- im editing the video again. we made a storyline instead of just putting vissuals on the poem.

feb 21- the stress was getting to me. i havent been sleeping bcos of finals and editing so i cut my hair short. the shortest it has been, they said i looked like hannah baker

~idk what date but i finally passed the video and we got 85 thank god for that curve lol~

feb 24- Im back in Manila. first time to ever play with the orchestra in a place which is not marinduque. Played in Makati along with Sta Isabel peeps.

feb 26-

Went to bgc--- to the overrated Venice grand canal place to be exact.

Saw Alex Aiono live.

Bought a new Murakami book (Wind Up Bird Chronicle) that i havent still finished until now

feb 27 to march- marinduque ++ more MSC things

March 29

practiced a viola piece for auditions sa ust but hey its 2019 and i didnt end up auditioning

Moriones festival (holy week)

Watched Baconaua a film by Joseph Laban shot in Mdq. the plot was also mdq related!!! and also socially relevant at present. its kinda about drugs--- well it is about drugs.

april 7- went to ust for enrolment

apr 8- went home na ata i dont even know

apr 13 ICON MANILA DAY1

went to manila for yfc’s 25th anniv!!!!! AAAA ICON 2018~ FULL BLAST

bRO THE THEME WAS MUSICALS AND THEY PERFORMED DISNEY AND THE GREATEST SHOWMAN THEMED THINGS HUHU MY HART IS HAPI

yfc reunion yey

APR 14 DAY 2 - FIREWORKSSS AND TALKS

APR 15- DAY 3

LAST DAY

GOT AN ICON DAVAO SHIRT

NASA ICON RECAP VIDEO AKO

APR 16 ARRIVED IN MDQ FOR FINALS

APR 19- SURVIVED FIRST DEFENSE

APR 23- FINAL DEFENSE

APR 26- SHELLY’S DEBUT

APR 30- FOUND OUT I DIDNT PASS THE UPCAT YO

MAY 3-

GRAD PHOTOSHOOT

SAGALA

MAY 8- 18TH

MAY 10- SURPRISE BDAY CELEB BY THE BEACH T^T gots a new laptop yey. got another murakami book from fiel. got a cool shirt from dem. got my fav necklace (which means so much to me since it has so much connection to who i am--- its a Sta. Claire/ St. Francis pendant from Rome.) Lola passed down a family heirloom to me--- her watch. <3

MAY 11- woke up after last night’s celeb for Graduatioooon.

May 11 to 19- stayed at home and watched movies and shi

May 20-

watched Musika sa Isla’s concert. first time that i sat out since i was so busy huhu.

Went out with Reg and went kayaking

May 21 and onwards more of doing nothing and watching movies and shii

May 29- went out with sum frends i havent seen for so loooong: isa, franz, angge, ira

Jun 2- went out with the fam and tita pina to the beaaachhh

Jun 15- My first provincial Shout!!! YBB LAGUNA!!!

Jun 18- went to shannon falls!!!! hiked and swam with the fam ++ dream favor fam

Jun 19- end of Prov Shout huhu went to amoingon with the YBB laguna team. swam some more in the beach.cried A LOT. said goodbye to fwends huhu

Jun 20- left duque for good

Jun 22- went to ust to settle thingz, dorm hopping

Jun 23- went to ust again

Jun -Jul scrabble, movies, wine, milktea, mc do and a couple of city thingz. Prepared for YCOM acad. long distance organizing with yasu huhu.

Jul 25- went home to duque for YCOM Acad!!! My first and last event as a the provincial YCOM head. cant believe we actually got to put this together huhu sml

Jul 26-28- finally had face to face organizing with the pcg. practiced songs and hosting.

Jul 29- YCOM ACAD NAAA. a lot of hard work paid off in this event. a lot if crying again. said goodbye to friends again.

Jul 30- left for Manila first thing in the morning

Aug 1- First day dorm life

Aug 2- Start of freshmen week. Freshmen pol sci orientation

Aug 3- ROARientation

Aug 4- got very drunk with batch mates uuuhhh which was wrong cos its just the first day and i probably made out with someone???uhhh

Aug 6- Tomasino na ako event. Saw Ben and ben and fourplay mnl

Aug 10-

went to cinemalaya with reg,kly and paul. was supposed to watch liway but ended up watching school service. bumabagyo rn hahahaha.

first time to ride the lrt loool

Aug 11-13- spent 3 days alone in qc aHAHAHA they were in cebu

~Lol kinda dated a blockmate or whateva at this time uuhh~

Aug 17- parents visited manila, we went to intramuros

Aug 20- kuyas bday

Aug 21-saw reg and we watched another cinemalaya entry: Madilim Ang Gabi. sobrang slow paceeeedddd but ya it was about ejk. #SupportLocal

Aug 22 and onwards- A LOT OF READINGS

Aug 28- bar hopping with 7wonders

MORE STUDYING

Sep 5- saw Sud again in ust. org week ata??

MORE STUDYING

~kinda stopped dating that blockmate na~ ahahah

MORE STUDYING

Sep 21- saw shelly, aira, and fiel at Happy T. met someone but never talked again after that nyt. slept at fiel’s

MORE STUDYING

Sep 28- YFC GA

Sep 29- WENT TO SHE’S ONLY SIXTEEN’S 10TH ANNIVERSARY WITH MAMSH BROOOOOOO (XX: XX Makati)

ang bandang shirley

lions and acrobats

mellow fellow

rusty machine

oh flamingo

sandwich???

i forgot the others huhu

IT WAS WILD I LOVE SENA

OCT 4-5- PRELIMS ((no sleeping starts))

Oct 10-pre lims. got rly unexpected close friendships. slept at dean’s.

Oct 20- Island with shelly, ira, dean and sum binilde friends. met sum ppl. slept at mark’s

MORE STUDYING! ! !

~kinda started talking to someone i actually like~

OCT 29- FINALLY WENT BACK HOME TO DUQUE HUHU

OCT 29- went to the beach with reg trisha cavite peeps and kuya francis. saw kent kuya jm and jayson at kuya karl’s

OCT 31- inuman with friends i havent seen for so loooooong, drew, ira, pam, josh, angge

UNDAS- made my term paper about islam huhuhuhuhuhu d y i n g

NOV 3- went to the beach with yfc people huhuhu yasu mat ninyah and others. quest ang gracenote were there at villa aplaya also ahahaha

NOV 4- haaayyy left duque again :<

MORE TERM PAPER MAKING

NOV 14- first meeting of that ~someone~ im talking to. went to rou bourbon. agh i actually like this guy can u believe it

NOV 16- saw ~that guy~ again. went over to his place and met his dog

MORE STUDYING

Nov 23- saw ~ that guy~ again// study date

MORE STUDYIN BCOS FINALS IS NEAR IM DED

Nov 29- adventures with dean and mia at 3am. smoked a lot this month brOo i was ded more studying

Dec 2- mom visited me huhu lord tnx

Dec 3- Agape

Dec 8 onwards- FINALS WEEK a lot of smoking//very very very ded at this point

Dec 13- SURVIVED FINALS AND WENT OUT WITH 1POL3

Dec 15- i was high with kuya and claud

Dec 17- drank with kuya and claud

Dec 19- i was high

Dec 20- mom and micha and pau arrived

Dec 21- PASKUHAN with micha <3 ~the guy~ i was talking to ditched me lol. the dating thing was “paused” looooooool things started going downhill again but paskuhan was so fun!!!!! huhhuhuh definitely made me feel things. saaw ransom collective and spongecola <3 mia and chad r now together. micha slept in my dorm

Dec 23 and 24 and 25- christmas shenanigans in ateneo.

Dec 24- cinco ako sa nstp. i died seeing this

Dec 28- BANDERSNATCH!!!!!!!

Dec 29- went to bulacan for Kuya Oyo’s wedding cute couple

Dec 30-31- STAYCATION with the fam

DEC 31- went home and welcomed the new year. smy prof hasnt still replied for the cinco he gave me.

yaaaaalllllll 2018 was rough. a lot has happend. and im difinitely not the same person anymore. whats worse is that im kinda disappointed of what i turned out to be. :/ things are just sad. i havent been able to pick myself up until now. idk if im just in the right place or in the right time or with the right people but all u i know is that things could be in a much better place. i just hope that 2019 would put things in a better place. i cried a ton shit of tears this year. cut a few scars.left a lot of people. so much new things. it was my wildest year so far. Living independently alone, surviving college and the city life--- it was very different from what Im used to. but hey i survived and im proud of myself for that.2018 u were painful---so painful. U made me try so hard and fail so hard at every aspect. I tried to maintain ties with friends even though it wasnt rly my thing. It was so hard for me to maintain connection agh but at least i still tried. Acads wise, I tried so hard to study for that one major prelim exam and i failed--- for the very first time, i failed a major exam. I tried to love--- yup--- thats totally not me--- i tried to date people. but lol things rly just dont work out sometimes. it be lyk that sometimes. ako pa yung dinitch HAHAHAHAH lol

the first half of the year was so fulfilling a lot of fun times. Never have i ever felt lyk i knew myself so much. everything i did was everything i wanted to do. For the first time i felt lyk i was turning out to be who i wanted to be but surprise everything turned around at the second half of the year.

it made me feel lost it made me feel alone. its 2019 and that feeling hasnt changed. still a ton shit of anxiety. god Every holiday season i try my best to get in the holiday spirit but hah this year no matter how hard i try i wasnt just feeling it. everything feels so static i dont wanna be like this anymore. The second half of 2018 made me feel like im the wrong place am i in the wrong place i dont know.

0 notes

oscarsheartandsoul-blog · 7 years

Text

My thoughts and where i am.

Days ago i sat in a room destroyed and broken, like i had never been before, not only did my family tell me how much of a dick i was , but i lost the one girl that brought me happiness no matter what. Through darkness history has shown us that people find there selves again, everyone being different. With me I was able to find my loving and caring self once again through the darkness of what seemed to never end and how i wish it had been sooner but life sometimes works in odd ways. I havent told anyone but ive only drank 3 cups of water, couple sips from the water fountain. Besides that I have zero food or anything in my system for days. But you see why does this happen to me ? Because I am missing the one thing in this world that I have that means the world to me, and like my family i hurt her. I will admit it here, I was a COWARD, an ASSHOLE, a DICK! I had become a monster of being bitter again and all because i was to much of a immature idiot that failed to realize that I had the one thing infront of me who forgave me time and time again but like any human got tired of the bs. That person is Natasha, the love of my life, the blood in my veins. See she is scared now, and i pray that she still wants to be with me but wants to notice my change. And she deserves me proving it to her. Every breath, every move she makes, every tear she has i will be watching and having my arms wide open to make sure she never feels the ground again, because angels deserve to feel only the clouds of God himself. I truly believe we had simply met at the wrong time, so many things happened and i said so many things that were not true and i know when death comes she will know that i never meant them and If i could give my life in return nothing of what happened to her bad with and before me i would do it so she could only feel the love in this world, and thats why im writing this, im letting it all out, no hiding no nothing, how i know best which is one of my biggest secrets, i write when im emotional. I miss her Father and Mother, her cousin, aunts and cousin, they were the family away from home and I will make things rght with them as well. And I know that our time is now here, but it is my job to show her every last drop of love that i have which is greater than the oceans that cover earth. She is wanting to regain trust with me and i know she will because i know i am a good man , a different man, a better man. This girl is something else, i mean the touch of her skin is so smooth, and yes one can give me that bullshit of its “love” your being dramatic, but no, I know art when i touch it, i painted my whole life growing up and studied it all highschool and still to this day. She is the representation of a true example of what perfection is. Most importantly her personality is so beautiful, she is so kind, and fiesty and fierce, she is literally a Godess amongst mortals, so intelligent, and strong, she is a titan. And then way her hair curls is like the waves of a ocean storm on a beautiful sunny day, her eyes are as glistening as a full moons shine upon the sleeping world below it, a smile that will literally with one action eliminate depression in the flash of those beautiful teeth. And she has a scar from a surgery somewhere, oh my god how i found it attractive and beautiful , and just so sexy . And my god her curves are so perfect, literally as if God took her out of the batch and worked extra on her. And dont get me started on her lips, my god i can only describe them as kissing a Greek Godess. And my god her butt, her legs, she never noticed but i always grabbed her legs when i was on top of her and pulled her closer to me and looked in her eyes when we made love because she had a true hispanic womans lower body, THICK! And i LOVE IT! I LOVE IT! And what I would do now to caress her again, see that twinkle in her eyes, see her look at me and just kiss me. Man how every second of my life I cant stop thinking about her, its just something else. Every day I push more and more and show as much as i can because I fear that she will find somone else, and she will be leaving behind the man that will not give her the world, but the cosmos, because she to me is like water to a fish, or rain to a flower, nectar to a humming bird, without it i would stumble and fall. She may never read this, and i know it destroys me every day the worries of her meeting a guy or going on dates, it may all be in my head and she thinks im worth it, but no matter all of this, i will swallow my pride and if happiness is not with me, then i will be there for her no matter what because she is my soulmate truly. And if I dont get her in this life, I will find her in another, Even if i have to travel through space and time, or give up heaven, to have her in my hands once more would be all i need. I Love you Natasha, i want to grow old with you, but i have to take it slow and work my way there but i know have what i needed, and that is that im a different man, a better man. And I hope the gods of time are on my side, so i can gain your trust again and then your love, i only hope im worth it for you too.

From the soul of a man who would literally make a deal with death to ensure you continue living happy. , Oscar

1 note · View note