#gods we love being obnoxious on the internet it is SO much fun. more people should do this

[aromanticannibal]

Hi fellow writers. French words for you.

I just saw one too many posts showing off cute French petnames that are incredibly cringe to me in French, so here's a list that also tells you the connotations of different terms and their exact translation. If anyones worried about my validity (which would be fair don't trust people on the Internet), I'm a born French speaker, bilingual in English and currently in my first year of an English literature formation in university.

I also put a guide to swearing at the end because I think it's always fun to know how to swear in as many languages as possible.

Also, there's nothing about pronunciations because god knows I'm bad at that, so sorry. (Edit as of November 2023 : I'm going to try to add some tips on that front, but see how to pronounce things on WordReference if you need to).

Warning, it's a bit long. ⬇️

Je t'aime = I love you

Very vague guide to pronunciation : é = ey, -e at the end of the sentence is rarely pronounceable and generally indicates that the letter before it should be pronounced, ^ <- this is completely useless and doesn't do anything, è <- how you pronounce the letter A

Romantic petnames (and other expressions)

Je t'aime bien = I like you, I kinda like you - casual, can be used in a "I kinda like you, actually" kind of moment

Je t'adore = I adore you - Unlike in english, Je t'adore has the implication of excitement and big happiness in the moment, rather than worship or adoration (for example, you'll also say j'adore ça = I love this! about a thing you really like. For instance : J'adore My Hero Academia!) Can be used for friends.

Mon amour = my love - gender neutral (like few things in french), is generally very romantic but can be used by a mom or an aunt to her young children sometimes. You can also just say amour, though I hear it less in the part of France I'm in (Paris banlieues) I think it's popular in some places.

Mon chéri, ma chérie = comes from cher/chère = dear, so my dear, my darling. former is masculine, latter is feminine. Can be used by parents for their children, or condescendingly. You can just say chéri or chérie withoit the possessive in front of it.

Bébé = baby, gender neutral. It's like baby or babe in english (I dislike it personally but many people use it, generally young adults or teenagers). You can eventually say mon bébé (still gn), "mon" being a possessive pronoun, but it's less casual. Both can also be used by a mom/aunt, like mon amour.

(I'll say it here, but we don't actually say "mon cher/ma chère" much anymore, unless it's in a jokey or sarcastic way. It's just too fancy)

Ma belle/Mon beau = my beautiful, my pretty. The former is feminine and way more common than the latter, masculine, but you can still say it. Some fathers will call their daughters ma belle, it's not necessarily creepy but it can be.

Mon cœur = my heart, gender neutral. Pretty popular in couples, can be used in a family context too. Even with the possessive pronoun it's pretty casual, if not cheesy.

(Mon) trésor = (my) treasure. A pretty known one as far as I'm aware. It's pretty cute, just saying trésor is more casual. Gender neutral.

Mon amoureux/mon amoureuse = my lover (former masc, latter fem), VERY cheesy and kind of childish. "amoureux/se" literally means in-lover or something, someone who's in love (comes from être amoureux/se, to be in love). Elementary schoolkids ask who's your amoureux/se and you say I have an amoureux/se as a kid to say I have boy/girlfriend.

Mon adoré(e) = my beloved, the (e) is for the feminine form. feminine = adorée, masculine = adoré. This one is pretty fancy, unless your couple is very obnoxiously cheesy or actually gods/royalty/nobles, I wouldn't recommend using it too much.

Mon chat (my cat) + mon chaton (my kitty) = gender neutral, self explanatory. very cutesy, often used by older family members for younger family members. My godmother calls me mon chat and my aunt calls her youngest mon chat or just chat. I'd advise you to not use the feminine of chat (chatte) if you fear stupid jokes because it also means pussy.

In the same breath, Minou is a cutesy term for cat. It's not really used but if your french character has a catboy/girl partner, it's very well placed. Minette is a more feminine version of this word but it has kinda predatory connotations. A weird old dude talking about a young pretty waitress might call her a Minette. It can also be aggressive, a way to call someone - generally a girl - weak or pathetic. You can probably use it in a cute way though, but don't use it in a teasing way unless you want the implications that come with it.

And to follow through the predatory connoted petnames :

poupée = doll, feminine. It can be used in a cute way but is more often that not used in a I just whistled at you in the street and am now catcalling you way. Same thing as previous word, use it carefully. You can add ma in front of it as a possessive pronoun if you want I guess. (Here it will always be ma and poupée even if the character uses masculine pronouns, because the word poupée is feminine.)

There are a shit ton of random petnames we can make up, like ma tarte à la pomme (my apple pie), ma gaufre en sucre (my sugar waffle), mon ours en peluche (my teddy bear), mon sucre d'orge (my candy cane) but like. If I list all of them I won't ever be done with this post.

If you really want a cutesy nickname that's very personal to your otp, like I don't know if your fandom is called The Cyborg Of the Sea and your OTP is a pirate cyborg and a french dude, and you want your french dude to call your pirate cyborg something cheesy and very specific like my gold searching cyborg (mon cyborg chercheur(m)/chercheuse(f) d'or), just figure out an English version of your petname and translate it into a translator or something. Ideally not Google Translate.

The best would be to actually ask a french person, because there's subtlety to every language that most online translators are too dumb to give you, but not all of you have a handy french guy close to you. (If you want some good translators, use Linguee or WordReference or even Reverso but like please not GT).

Misc. words (insults)

I have to teach you people swears, I just have to.

Interjections (what you say when you stubbed your toe)

Putain = fuck. Literally, a putain is a sex worker, it's a derogatory term we use more as sort of fuck nowadays.

Merde = shit.

Bordel = also fuck, kind of. It can also mean something that's really messy. Something is in bordel when it's messy as shit. Bordel originally means a place where there's sex workers basically. (e.g.: C'est le bordel dans ta chambre! = It's a mess in your room! <- my mother everyday)

Fun fact, you can fuse these insults to make a more powerful insult. Notably,

Putain de merde,

Bordel de merde,

Putain de bordel de merde.

You can also say C'est quoi ce bordel (what is this shit, what the fuck). Or, C'est quoi ce putain de bordel. Of course.

Dégueulasse = disgusting, can both be used independently or as a descriptive term. Rude version of Dégoûtant.

Insults, for people

Pute = now this is the insult for sex worker. Don't use to actually refer to a sex worker unless you want it to be in a derogatory way. Can be used to call someone a slut I guess. Often used between girls as just an insult without the sex worker connotation. Also used to insult people's mom. "Ta mère la pute" means "your mom the prostitute" basically. Rarely meant specifically to say someone's mom's a prostitute, just to insult their mom. And of course, "Fils de pute" shortened to FDP, the Call of Duty voice chat insult, literally Son of a bitch.

Salope = slut/whore

Salopard = salope but man. technically not the same insult because it doesn't have the same connotation, it doesn't have the slut vibes. so salope and salopard can be used for both genders technically, but salope is feminizing and really just means slut while salopard kinda is used in the same way as asshole, especially if it's to insult a coward or someone who betrayed you.

Saloperie = shitty little thing, basically. When a weird bug just landed on my leg I get up in a panic and go what the fuck is this saloperie.

Connard, Conasse = former is masc, latter is fem. Just a general insult. I call my father a connard a lot. Can be used affectionately between close friends if they're that kind of friends.

Bâtard = bastard. Technically masculine (the feminine would be bâtarde) but no one cares, just say bâtard. It's genuinely the same word as in English, one of the words where the ^ is tranformed into a s (hôpital->hospital, hôtel->hostel...)

Enculé = generally masculine, literally sodomized. Not used literally, generally just another way to call someone a dick, but enculer is still a verb, that's used either as getting fucked over or as sodomized.

Trou du cul = hole of the ass~ asshole. We're fancy like that. shortened can be trouduc'. Really not one of the fancy one.

Beurrette = technically not a swear, but it's another derogatory term for sex worker, more specifically used as a way to imply someone's a prostitute. In a bad way obviously. I learnt this word from a weird tomboy I had a crush on in elementary.

Nique ta mère = fuck your mom. Not used literally, godbless, it's mostly to say go fuck yourself. And by the way,

Va te faire foutre = get fucked. the safe for work version is va te faire mettre, which means get done? get put, something like that.

Va te faire enculer = get sodomized specifically. I like this one.

Je m'en bas les couilles = I don't care, I don't give a fuck, literally I'm beating my balls about it. Very extra.

Je m'en branle = same as last one, except branler is a familiar word for to masturbate, so... I'm masturbating about it. Literally. Expression not actually used in a sexual context.

Bite = dick. (pronounced like the word beat) Not used as an insult, but :

Tête de bite = dickhead, actually used as an insult. A bit silly.

French people are susceptible to just put together random insults together to create an interjection if we stubbed our toe very hard.

Merde can be used to insult someone by saying petite merde (little shit, same connotation) grosse merde (fat shit, someone who's REALLY a dick) sale merde (dirty shit, bit more aggressive than the others) in general adding sale (imagine the A in black) in front of an insult can make it worse.

also, démission = resignation. Go yell macron démission with the others if you're in Paris right now it's fun I swear /j. macron explosion is fun too.

I hope you enjoyed whatever this is, if you ever have questions about French do ask I love answering questions about my stupid language.

#french #french petnames #France #writing #writing advice #writing help #language #swearing #petnames #pet names #romance #romantic prompts #writing prompts #fanfiction #original writing

[cyvonix]

Cyv Reads Homestuck - Act 2 Wrapup

Now, let's talk about act 2.

HOLY FUCK.

I thought act 1 moved quickly. I thought it dumped a lot of info on you at once. But that shit was nothing compared to this. All of a sudden, not only does the main cast open up, taking us to multiple locations in quick succession, but it also introduces different points on the timeline??? The wayward vagabond guy remains a complete mystery to me. He appears to be someone living on a far future version of earth, presumably after the meteors took everything out. But that still leaves so many questions. Why does he have a contraption that allows him to directly communicate with John? How is that even possible if he's in the future? Is he actually in the future? What are those little buttons on the console for? What species is he? So many questions and so little answers.

Then we have our new characters in Dave and Rose, which are both an absolute delight. Rose is really interesting to me as she seems to be the one to give the least of her deeper personality away, opting to write in knowingly pedantic ways that sometimes make it harder to decipher what her true emotions even were at the time. The horror nerd with a preference for solitude is certainly an archetype I can relate to, which was fun, and the purple color scheme is just really nice looking honestly.

Dave Strider is a bastard. I fucking love him. He's the exact kind of "kid who thinks he's so much cooler than he actually is" that, similar to what I said about the comic's writing in general, could get obnoxious really easily, but is instead written in such a brilliant way that makes his antics constantly entertaining. And the puppets just everywhere??? Help????

All three of these characters share some things in common. One being their unique typing styles, which I think really characterizes them so well and makes their interactions through Pesterchum so endearing to read. The second is that they're clearly all internet friends purely. They make reference to being in different locations and even timezones, and it's awesome to see the switching perspectives yet still have all of them feed back into the overall narrative.

Other than that, this act continues to be really funny and really interesting. Actually, much more interesting than the first. While act 1 kept me hooked for the intriguing structure of the story and way it was written, act 2 is giving me so many threads to latch onto and see where the hell they're possibly going to go (if anywhere, that is). In addition to the vagabond - which gets even more interesting when you consider the final, and may I say phenomenally done, animation wherein you see other parts of this strange and desolate version of our world - I also wonder about these strange little imps and what their deal could be. Where the two halves of the kernelsprite actually ended up and if they'll come into play. How these seemingly disparate worlds and times are connected and even communicating with each other. What in the fuck Sburb even is and where it came from. So, so many questions. And I don't know how many will be answered but god damn now I need to find out. I'm starting to understand how this thing captured such a massive group of people.

So yeah. I am into this shit. I'll keep updating as I read on in the next act. Probably just short posts for the most part, but I may still do post-act wrapups like this one just to compartmentalize it all.

#cyv reads homestuck #act 2 #homestuck #homestuck act 2 spoilers #homestuck liveblog

[washingtonlowercases]

i have a lot of Thoughts about the chicago situation and im going to put them under the cut cause i know no one cares but i have no one to talk to so they're going here anyway

tw: sexual assault, r*pe, hazing ?

okay so like... what happened?? i watched that press conference (yay being unemployed, we love it here and we are NOT going insane) and i am now convinced that perry probably didnt have sex with bedards mom but actually did something really, really, very much so worse.

im not convinced nothing happened between perry and any bedard though. its such a specific rumor. and the gm and all these reporters being like iTS DISGUSTING TO EVEN SUGGEST- okay so where did it come from then?? can you show me the tweet from rangersfan420 who hates the hawks and started a rumor for fun?? can you find the source to PROVE its just a stupid internet lie?? i know its hard but if im chicago, im putting someone on it. if im a reporter (i know its a hard job, its a lot of work, etc but i have very little sympathy for most hockey reporters specifically because of, well- name any incident) im SCOURING the web for the source of that rumor to either ask how they know, or embed the link in my pay-wall blocked article for clicks!! you KNOW it would work, at least a few times. theyve had two days, has anyone even attempted this? (someone who's job it is, who's getting paid literally to either create news or to kill the rumor more effectively than whatever the hell the hawks are trying right now)

i might believe something sexual assult-y happened between perry and a player's family or player even except we KNOW for a FACT that the nhl and the hawks specifically do not care about that. they can "we're committed to change" all they want (clearly that's not working) but what motive would they have for kicking perry off the team? when has the NHL, or NHL fans (the loud, obnoxious majority, anyway) cared when a player has assaulted anyone?? we have seen sex crime after sex crime against women (and men!) committed by these players who are STILL PLAYING. no consequences enforced by their team, by the league, or by the media or fans (generally. there are good fans and there are some media outlets that care). so really, the hawks have no reason to kick perry off the team, or address the media, or make this into A Thing at all if that were the case. I know its hard to quash a rumor once it starts, but i honestly think if they had just been like "perry did *insert sex crime here* and thats bad, sooweee" people would be like BUT HES A GREAT PLAYER and people would be liek THAT SUCKS KICK HIM OFF THE TEAM and then in 30 hours there would be something new to yell about. (because being the moral police for this FUCKING LEAGUE is exhausting. where my red wings girlies who are dead inside at?? let me hear you scream into the void!)

so let's take a sexual encounter/assault off the table. what the hell was it?? probably not a racist thing. the chicago hockey team for sure doesn't care about that (See: their logo). its probably not a straight up and down illegal thing because the cops aren't involved as far as we know. (not that that really matters to this league either. remember the val nichushkin thing?? or the lucic thing?? {im assuming he'll be playing again soon} or like a million other things?? god this league is exhausting)

i saw someone say a hazing thing and that i might believe, esp bc of how their gm looked on the brink of tears. but then... say that?? or then why say no one else in the locker room knows about it?? are we keeping them in the dark or are we covering their asses legally??

this league is so fucked up, that there's honestly not much i can imagine that a hockey player could do that would warrant THIS from his team and the NHL.

(unless of course he's claimed off waivers or signed in like three months, then it's probably your garden variety assault/hazing/drunk/racist incident)

UGH i hate it here sometimes

#corey perry #chicago blackhawks #idk if anyone has any thoughts... i mean i dont expect anyone to read this but is anyone else kind of going insane?? #like hockey was supposed to be my fun escape and then this happens over and over and over and over and over #really i make jokes #mostly on twitter #but about bedard's mom because... before that press conference it was funny! #and now i feel sick!! #i wish whoever was a victim of this incident #i assume there is at least one #is okay and not deeply re-truamatized by idiots like me speculating #and i wish bedard didnt go there because this sucks for him hes just a kid #i bet he could laugh off the jokes but if its something worse... #and i wish the chicago blackhawks orginzation a very fuck you die

[karlyboyyy]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks....

Okay first of all - thank you so much for sending me this ask! I haven't received an ask since like 2018, and I really like answering questions! (are any of y'all old enough to remember Formspring? I loved that shit lmao)

Second of all - this took me forever to think of! I suddenly forgot all pieces of media that I've ever consumed. Plus I wanted to make sure I had a mix of stuff lol

Anyway, here's what I've come up with, in no particular order :)

David Rose | Schitt’s Creek

David Rose is honestly so important to me. When I first started watching Schitt’s Creek, I was just like “oh haha sassy queer man, so funny!” But then as the show progressed, I found myself identifying so much with the character. And then I decided to rewatch the show… four more times over the next few months. Like I just kept going back to it. And eventually I thought “ya know… why do I identify so much with a queer man? I’ve never thought of myself as queer and I’m not a man… so why?” Which led me down the rabbit hole of watching other queer-centric shows and doing a bunch of internet searching of sexuality and gender identity. And I honestly learned so much. Like it’s crazy how much I just assumed about a lot of stuff without ever thinking too deeply about it. And wouldn’t you fuckin know it, I realized I was bisexual. And then the more and more I thought about how I see myself and how I wanted others to see me, I decided that yep, I’m not a man… but I’m also not really too attached to being a woman either. So here we are today, just a big ol’ bisexual nonbinary androgynous blob. All thanks to David Rose!

2. Karasuno VBC | Haikyuu!!

Is this answer cheating? I feel like it’s cheating. But I’ve tried - I’ve reeeally tried - to pick a favorite character from Haikyuu, and I just cannot. So I’ve chosen the entire ‘12-‘13 Karasuno High School Volleyball Club (coaches and managers included!). I just love them each so much for different reasons. Like, Hinata is such a sweetheart and I’m so proud of him by the end of the series! Kageyama is my baby, my sweet grumpy dumb-dumb baby. Sugawara is probably the one I relate to the most, coming off as shy and calm but in reality he’s a little insane. And Asahi! My sweet sensitive Asahi, I love him so much. I could ramble on for days, but I won’t. Just know that I would fight to the death for these fictional characters. 

3. Power | Chainsaw Man

Since I’ve decided that I’d only do one cheat answer, I can’t list the whole Hayakawa family as one character. That said, I’d have to say Power is my favorite of the trio. She’s loud and obnoxious and egotistical and powerful and silly and gross and honestly everything I wish I could be. 

4. Xie Lian | Heaven Official’s Blessing

Xie Lian is so awkward, but he’s low-key hilarious. There’s a moment in chapter 6 of the first novel, where he was worried because he didn’t have any shrines or worshippers dedicated to him in the mortal realm. But then, there’s this excerpt: “And one day, on a whim, he suddenly thought: If no one worships me, I’ll worship myself! None of the heavenly officials knew how to respond to that. Who had ever fucking heard of a god worshipping himself?! To reach such tragic heights, what was the point?! However, Xie Lian was used to receiving nothing but awkward silence the moment he spoke and thought amusing himself could be fun.” Like… that whole ‘fuck it, I’m just gonna do whatever the hell I want’ attitude gives me life. On top of all that, he’s a cheapskate scrap collector, a terrible cook, and has the worst luck. But he’s a total sweetheart, he tries his best at everything he does, he’s always trying to help people, and HELLO he’s got Hua Cheng wrapped around his finger. 

5. Uramichi Omota | Life Lessons With Uramichi-oniisan

My favorite depressy boi. Life Lessons is so freakin funny and way too goddamn relatable. I think I have four different magnets at my desk at work with images / quotes of Uramichi from the show and manga. There's not much else I can say other than he speaks to my soul.

6. Kageyama “Mob” Shigeo | Mob Psycho 100

The goodest boy!! A friend actually recommended Mob Psycho to me, and at first I was a little skeptical. But by the third episode I was hooked. And by season 3, I found myself literally sobbing. Just seeing Mob’s growth throughout the show, and how his kindness impacted so many people around him… it just fills my heart. But also the moment where he almost loses himself to the ???%… just wow. The whole message of that show is so so good and I will literally recommend it to anyone and everyone. 

7. Sasaki Shuumei | Sasaki and Miyano

The sweetest cinnamon roll!! The way he truly loves Miyano is so refreshing. Sure, he has the whole “but he’s a guy…” thought at first. But he gets over that fairly quickly. He just knows that Miyano is cute and he genuinely wants to get to know him. He actively engages with Miyano to try and learn about his interests and hobbies. He reads all the BL Miyano lends him. He gives his honest feedback about each story! He stands up for Miyano’s interests. He confesses to Miyano pretty early on, but recognizes that Miyano may not reciprocate those feelings right away. He continually reassures Miyano that his feelings are strong, but he’s not pushy about it. It’s more like he wants to make sure Miyano doesn’t see his feelings as a passing whim. And when they finally get together, he’s not shy about their relationship. He talks about it to his friends and family. When the two of them start to get more physical, Miyano voices his concern about who’s going to be the “bottom”. And Sasaki’s immediate thought was that he didn’t really care which way they went, he just knew that he wanted it to be with Miyano. And my GOD I loved seeing that. I feel like discussing your sexual preferences with your partner and figuring out what you’re comfortable with doing is SO important, but that aspect of starting a new relationship isn’t portrayed nearly enough in BL stories. It’s usually just one guy being a little nervous about being bottom and the other guy automatically assuming they’re the top, with zero communication. Anyway, I digress. Back to Sasaki. My cinnamon roll. I just love him. 

8. April Ludgate | Parks and Recreation 

Parks and Rec will always be one of my comfort shows. And I first watched it when I was about the same age as April - young enough to not really know what I wanted to do in life and also not really caring about that stuff just yet. I loved her dry sense of humor and her sarcasm. And watching her grow into someone with more confidence in her career and relationships was amazing. Also fun fact, when I interviewed for my first role at my current workplace - which happens to be an Indiana government entity - I was asked why I was interested in government work. And I straight up said that Parks & Rec made it seem interesting lmao. They must have liked that answer, because I’m still there almost 4 years later and have promoted up since then! 

9. Dorothy Zbornak | Golden Girls

I first watched Golden Girls when I was in college, when my roommate was like “I promise you’ll like it, it’s so funny” and I was like bitch… it’s an old show about old ladies. But she was RIGHT. It’s hilarious. And honestly so wholesome. And ICONIC (I mean come on. This show talked about women's sex lives, old women's sex lives at that. And LGBT+ issues. And workplace harassment. And invisible illnesses / disabilities and the struggles of getting your doctor to actually listen to you. All of this in the '80s, no less!) And I feel like most people liked Rose because, duh it’s Betty White. But Dorothy was my jam. She was sarcastic and always annoyed by something (same). But she genuinely cared about her friends. And look. I ain’t gonna lie. That deep, almost raspy voice of hers? Hot. 

10. Jake Peralta | Brooklyn 99

He’s honestly so annoying, but I love him. He gives off this “I’m gonna do the bare minimum and be silly the whole time and STILL get the fuckin’ job done” vibe, and ya know what? He does just that. He’s actually a great detective and problem solver. He just also knows how to have fun. And his relationship with Amy is one of the few straight(-passing) relationships that I honestly love so much. They’re so cute and pure and goofy and relatable. And don’t even get me started on his friendship with Rosa. I mean, he went with her when she wanted to come out as bi to her parents!! Aahhhh!! Lastly, his flannel / hoodie / leather jacket combo? Pure bisexual fashion and I am here for it.

#karly overshares #favorite characters #david rose #schitt's creek #karasuno #haikyuu!! #csm power #chainsaw man #xie lian #heaven official's blessing #uramichi oniisan #life lessons with uramichi oniisan #kageyama shigeo #mob psycho 100 #sasaki shuumei #sasaki and miyano #april ludgate #parks and rec #dorothy zbornak #golden girls #jake peralta #brooklyn 99

[iclaimedtobethebetterbard]

snakes & silliness

Fandom: Sanders Sides Characters: Janus, Remus, Patton Rating: Teen & up Relationships: Intrualiceit, with a focus on Dukeceit Warnings: Language, some innuendo, both mostly courtesy of Remus.  Word count: 2297

Read on AO3!

My writing masterpost

Starlight Universe masterpost

Dukeceit Week 2021 start - previous - here - next - masterpost

Summary: The selecting of a first family pet is a very important matter. Almost as important as making Janus grin and blush in the middle of the reptile section. Luckily, Remus and Patton take both of these tasks as seriously as they should.

Notes: Day 3 of Dukeceit Week 2021! @dukeceitweek Takes place in my Starlight Universe, where each piece can be read without any context. Takes place 4 or 5 years post-college. Remus, Janus, and Patton all use he/they pronouns. 

–

Remus locked the car doors behind them as he, Janus, and Patton began to make their way across the parking lot towards the pet store. “What shall we name it?” he inquired, offering one hand to each of his partners.

Patton lit up. “I don’t know… Snakey!”

Remus pursed his lips. “Sure, but I was thinking, like, something cool. Like… Mouse Killer.”

“No, that’s sad!” Patton shook his head. “What about Scaley?”

Remus grinned. “Janus Jr.”

“Danger Noodle!”

“Janice, but spelled the other way.”

“Snoot Boopsie!”

“Janus, but pronounced like anus.”

“You are both terrible at naming snakes,” Janus cut in, breaking the amused silence they had maintained until now as their eyebrows rose higher and higher with each of Remus and Patton’s suggestions.

“Oh, really?” Remus rounded on them with a grin. “And what would you name it, then, if you’re so much cleverer than us?”

Janus froze, mouth open, clearly caught off-guard by the question. “…Jake,” they said weakly after a pause.

Remus snickered. “Oh, really?” He let go of Patton’s hand and moved closer to Janus, leaning into their personal space. “Is that your genius idea for Best Snake Name of All Time? You’re sure?”

Janus, being Janus, stood their ground. “Yes,” they mumbled, sounding only a little sheepish.

Remus traded a mischievous glance with Patton. “And you didn’t make it up on the spot because you were making fun of our ideas when you had none of your own?”

“Of… of course not,” Janus said, tone almost perfectly even and cheeks very red.

“Well,” Patton chirped, the picture of innocence standing there at his full height of 5’2” and dressed all in pastels, speaking in that particular syrupy sweet tone that was the surest sign that his partners were in an excellent kind of danger, “I think that’s a great name, honey!” He raised his eyebrows at Remus in a meaningful way.

Janus blinked. “…What?”

“Oh, definitely,” Remus agreed with a wide grin, catching Patton’s drift at once. Teaming up with Patton to tease Janus was, pretty much universally, an excellent idea. Remus hooked their chin over Janus’s shoulder from behind, wrapping his arm around their waist. “I mean, it really sums up the essence of what we desire in a pet snake, you know?” He held up a hand in front of them both, palm out and fingers spread, drawing a line as if to illuminate the word in the air. “Jake. Now there’s a name that really says dangerous. Intimidating. Cool.”

“I hate you,” Janus mumbled, tilting their head to press their temple against his in a fond little gesture that belied their words.

“Nah, you don’t.” Remus kissed his cheek. “Besides, sugar, if you don’t like it, all you gotta do is say so.” He drew Janus closer by the waist until they were pressed together, his tone turning to a teasing sing-song. “Just let us know you don’t like it. That you were pulling it out of your ass and that you think it’s silly. That you were wrong and you changed your mind.” He leaned closer so his breath fanned against their ear and lowered his voice to nearly a whisper. “Just say it. That’s all you gotta do.” He pulled away, putting on his best bright, innocent air. “Up to you, though! Pat and I clearly love it, so if you don’t say anything, we do have a unanimous winner.” He grinned at Janus.

“You are so mean,” Janus whined.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Remus asked innocently. “Don’t wanna admit you’re wrong?”

“I’m not,” Janus protested at once, “I just….”

“Yes?” Patton said sweetly. “You just what, honey?”

Janus let out a sigh. “You two are going to be the death of me, you know?”

“Why?” Remus inquired. “Because you like it when we make you squirm?”

Janus made a small strangled sound. “Oh, my god.”

“That definitely wasn’t a no, baby,” Remus purred.

Janus flushed pink once again. “I—you—let’s go look at the snakes.” They pulled free of Remus’s grasp and moved towards the door of the pet store.

“Damn. We really are those, like, super obnoxious people who just stand in the parking lot flirting for ten minutes,” Remus commented, putting his hands in the pockets of his green-blue-yellow colorblock jacket, as Janus disappeared into the store.

“Have we ever been anything else?” Patton pointed out in a practical tone. “Come on, now, sweetie, we’d better catch up before Jan buys out half the reptile section.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Remus retorted easily, but allowed Patton to tug him into the store by the hand in search of their other partner.

They found Janus in the reptile section, staring with wide eyes and a soft, open expression into one of the glass tanks. They had a tiny grin on their face as they watched the snake flick its tongue out, and after a second, the tip of their own tongue appeared in an answering blep to mirror the snake. Their expression was far less guarded—and far more happy—than they normally allowed it to be in public, and Remus was hit in the gut with an overpowering wave of remembering-just-how-gooshy-Jan-made-him emotions.

Patton cooed softly, phone at the ready in a flash; Remus leaned over, resting their chin on Patton’s shoulder, and adjusted the angle of the camera just slightly to one he knew Janus would like better. Patton clicked the shutter.

“I can see you, you know,” Janus commented quietly, eyes not leaving the snake.

“It’s not our fault you’re so pretty,” Remus responded, backed up by an emphatic nod from Patton. He moved over to stand at Janus’s side, sliding his hand possessively around their waist. “Is this Jake?” he inquired innocently.

“Oh my god,” Janus mumbled, rolling their eyes.

“What? I thought you liked that name,” Remus teased with his best evil grin. “You know, it being your idea, and you being so much better at coming up with names than us, and all.”

“You really aren’t going to let that one go, are you?” Janus sighed.

Remus put one finger under Janus’s chin and tilted their face towards himself. “Not unless you tell us exactly what you want, baby,” he breathed, letting his tone go dark.

Janus visibly swallowed, cheeks staining red. “I—” Their eyes flitted away from him, glancing around. “Remus, we’re in public.”

“Why, what did I do?” Remus asked sweetly, grinning.

“You know perfectly well what you did.”

Remus grinned wider. “Hell yeah I do,” they acknowledged. “C’mon, there’s no kids over here, I can be a little naughty.” However, having made their point, he did ease off the teasing, just for the moment. “Now, introduce me to our snakey pal here. Are we liking this one?”

Janus looked over Remus’s shoulder, and Patton was by their side at once. “I—I do like this one, I think,” Janus said, indicating the snake that had been engrossing them when Remus and Patton arrived. “But we can look around first, and talk about it.”

Patton dug in their pocket and produced the scrap of paper with the list of species they’d agreed upon as options, after several nights’ worth of internet research and heated discussion. They’d needed to find a pet that would do well in the apartment the three of them had just moved into—their first home together. It was one that would allow pets, which had been important to them, and choosing a snake as the inaugural pet of the family had been an easy decision for Remus and Patton after the way Janus lit up talking about it.

“Let’s take a look, shall we?” Patton said, unfolding the list.

While there were, frankly, a surprising number of snakes available for purchase—Remus counted at least ten—only two or three met the criteria that the three of them had put together.

“So?” Remus asked, looking at Janus expectantly when they had whittled down the options before them thus far. “What’s it gonna be, babe?”

Janus hesitated. “It’s going to be our snake. Not mine. We should all choose.”

“Yeah, but Pat and I have only been waiting for it for a few months. You’ve been waiting since you were eight. It’s important to all of us, but it’s most important to you.” Remus glanced at Patton. “Isn’t that right?”

Patton nodded. “I like all of the options, honey,” they told Janus. “I wanna know which one makes you most happy.”

Janus was silent, looking back and forth between two glass tanks and quietly stimming with their hands—rubbing their thumbs back and forth along all their other fingertips, a stim Remus recognized as one of their go-tos when thinking hard or overwhelmed. “I….” They bit their lip, looking beseechingly over at their partners, voice trailing off in what seemed like mild distress.

Remus put his arm around their waist again, drumming his fingers against their side. “Problem?” he asked, gently pushing Janus’s hair out of their face.

Janus hesitated. “I’m… stuck,” they said by way of explanation. They gestured vaguely towards their forehead. “Up here.”

Remus nodded and placed his free hand delicately on Janus’s chest, right over their heart, his fingertips barely pressing against the soft, clingy lace fabric of their long black dress. “How about here?” he asked.

Janus chewed on the inside of their mouth for a beat and shook his head. “Not stuck there.”

“Do you want to go home and come back later?” Patton asked.

Janus shook their head again, head bent and hair falling about their face as they stared into one of the snake tanks. “I know which one. I’m only second guessing myself.”

Remus wrapped both his hands around their slim waist. “Do you know what you need?” he said, the words coming easily to his tongue. He’d struck on that particular phrasing back in college; it helped when Janus was feeling stuck, usually due to either sensory overload or a disconnect between their feelings and rational thoughts. It was simple and, more importantly, it cut past the issue of explaining what the problem was, which could be hard for Janus to articulate.

Janus hesitated. “Not exactly.”

“Any ideas?” Remus prompted when they did not go on.

Janus rested one hand over Remus’s, still clasped about their side, and drummed their slim fingers on the back of his hand. “I… don’t know how I feel about the name ideas anymore,” they said slowly, as if trying to shape the thoughts in their head into words.

“Oh, that’s no problem, I was mostly just being silly,” Remus assured them at once, absently signing the word “silly” in ASL as he spoke—one of a handful of words he’d retained in his vocabulary since he spent a stint learning the language in middle school. He glanced over at Patton. “Right?”

Patton nodded. “Of course not, honey. We don’t need to pick a name right now. We can always work that out some other time.”

Janus let out a long breath. “Okay. That—that’s good. Yes.”

“Better?” Remus asked, feeling the way they had untensed against him.

Janus inclined their head once. “Less things in my head now.”

“That’s good,” Remus said. “Also,” he added, in a less serious tone, “can I just point out that I am being really good about how many times we are saying the word snake and how many dirty jokes I am not making, and you should both give me lots of attention about it?”

Janus let out a huff of laughter. “What exactly am I doing right now, pray tell?” he inquired, gesturing to where he and Remus were pressed together all down their side, and to Remus’s hand about their waist.

“Breathing, in that very sexy way you do,” Remus retorted at once with a grin.

Janus half smiled. “I’m flattered, darling.” They pressed their temple to Remus’s. “However, I was referring to the way we are practically cuddling in broad daylight. Is that not giving you attention?”

“True,” Remus agreed, giving Janus’s side an appreciative squeeze, “but you’re also giving some of your attention to these reptiles.” He gestured at the wall of tanks before them. “Let it be known that I am terribly jealous. And Pat is all the way over there, which is too far.” They pouted at Patton, standing all of twelve inches away from the pair of them.

“Yes, you’re being very good, sweetie,” Patton said, patting Remus on the cheek. “You get lots of kisses later.”

Remus beamed, catching Patton’s hand in their free hand. “Much better,” they said with a pleased chuckle, and looked back to Janus. “Are you ready to tell us which snake is coming home with us, baby?” He hooked his finger in one of Janus’s belt loops and ran his thumb back and forth along their side just above it.

Janus pursed their lips, clearly considering this. “Yes,” they said. “I really like this one.” He indicated a tank with a golden-brown, spotted snake inside; a corn snake, the same one they had been so interested in when Remus and Patton arrived.

Patton made an excited noise, and Janus’s face melted into a soft little grin at once. “I love that one!” Patton said. “That one is the best one.”

“Good.” Janus looked at Remus, the barest hint of nerves almost perfectly hidden in their face.

Remus leaned up and pecked their lips. “’S perfect, baby,” he said easily.

Janus relaxed the rest of the way, leaning into Remus’s touch and raising one hand to their mouth to cover the smile on their face. “Of course it is,” they said primly, reaching around Remus’s back to rest a hand on Patton’s shoulder. “It’s ours, after all.”

--

Taglist (ask to be added/removed!): @theimprobabledreamersworld

#dukeceitweek #sanders sides #dukeceit week #thomas sanders #thatsthat24 #dukeceit #demus #romantic dukeceit #romantic demus #intrualiceit #intruality #moceit #janus sanders #ts janus #remus sanders #ts remus #patton sanders #ts patton #ts fic #ts fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic #my writing #peregrin's starlight universe #language #innuendo

[hufflepuffhollander]

shirtgate: tom holland imagine

a/n | i finally did it! i wrote a thing without angst! i have grown so much as a person. anyway this is my third and final (☹️) submission for @hollandsrecs​ 1k bingo event, crossing off the “accidental relationship reveal” trope square. this has been a super fun challenge and everything i’ve written for it i’ve actually been v proud of so thank you all for the continued support :)

summary | it is pretty obvious — you accidentally tell the whole world about your relationship with your costar Tom Holland.

tom x fem costar!reader | contains language, fluff, heavily suggestive dialogue | word count: 1.8k | enjoy!

“Babe, have you seen my shirt?”

A strong pair of arms snake around your waist.

“Why do you need a shirt?”

You slip around and lace your fingers behind your boyfriend’s neck, blushing at his sly smile.

“As flattered as I am, I don’t think my publicist will be very pleased seeing pictures in the papers tomorrow of me walking around naked.”

He ran his hands up and down your bare back and leaned in to kiss your neck, making you shiver in the best way.

“Ooh, I would buy the hell out of those photos.”

“You’re such a weirdo, Tom.”

“You love it.”

“Maybe. Where is my shirt?!”

“Just borrow one of mine,” he said, going to his closet and pulling one of his favorite spider-man t-shirts from the back. You draped it over you and reveled in being enveloped in his scent while Tom frowned at the loose cotton now hanging over you.

You walked over to him sitting on the edge of his bed and straddled his hips, lazily putting your arms on either one of his shoulders. The smell of your perfume mixed with his laundry detergent blissfully dizzied him, and he couldn’t stop thinking about how the only thing between your bare bodies was a thin piece of fabric- but his pout stayed put.

You noticed the drop in his mood. “What, I don’t look good in gray?”

“You look amazing in it, darling. I just wish you didn’t have to leave,” he exaggerated his expression, toying with the bottom hem of the shirt, exposing a few inches of your bare belly. You kissed his nose and pushed him back on the mattress, leaning over and propping yourself up on your hands. His eyes continued to roll over you, the sunshine filtering in through the slats in his blinds casting a glowing sheen across you that he couldn’t peel his eyes away from.

“I’ll be back later,” you said, dragging one finger slowly down his chest. “And you can take it off again then.” You finished your sentence with a smirk and a boop to the nose, got up, and went to finish getting dressed. Tom stayed there with his jaw slacked, cursing his better judgement for not tackling you and using his charm to convince you to stay.

“Oh, you better believe I’ll be doing a lot more than that,” he huffed, swallowing hard, trying to figure out what the hell he was going to do with himself until he could get his hands on you later.

~

“...and this is the room where it happens!” you pan your camera around your bedroom to show all of the fans who were watching your live story. You had promised them a tour of your new apartment once it was all moved into, and with a fan base as big as you had, you couldn’t disappoint, even if you would’ve much preferred being tangled up with Tom right now than showing millions of strangers your throw pillows. But your relationship was to be kept completely off the books, out of the media and only inside the comfort of your own homes, with the exception of your close friends. You both knew what kind of drama it would spark if you went public this soon after your movie release, and wanted to live in your little private bubble of normalcy as long as you could. When you expose your love to the world, things just get messy- and right now, you were content with everything being divinely simple.

Feedback poured in onto your tiny screen.

“wooowww so jealous!!!”

“your house is beautiful 😍😍”

“hiiii y/n! show us more!”

You scrolled through the comments on your live-stream, laughing and responding to some questions people asked.

“Yes, my dog lives here with me!”

“Ohmygod, no, Chris Evans does not live in my basement! Did he tell you that?!”

You floated from room to room giving the tour, and eventually made your way to your impeccably organized closet, opening the doors and flipping your camera to show the live audience the inside. And right there, sticking out like a sore thumb on top of your white dresser, was one neatly folded gray spider-man shirt- normally spotted on Mr. Tom Holland. It was unmistakeable. The comments started flooding in before you could even turn the closet light off.

“wait a second- is that TOM’S SHIRT?!”

“omgomgomg-“

“yoooo i knew it, y/n and tom 😍😍”

“wtf?!? are they DATING???”

You realized what you’d just done a second too late, immediately came up with an excuse as to why you had to close the tour, and ended the livestream, heart beating out of your chest. Not even a minute later, you got a call from Tom; you almost threw your phone across the room.

“...Hello?”

“Hey, hi, y/n, uh, what did you just do?”

“Tom, I swear I didn’t mean to-“

“Baby, it’s alright. Just…what- what happened?”

“They saw. They saw it. All of them. Your stupid shirt. On my stupid fucking dresser. I’m so sorry, how do they even know what all of your shirts look like, that’s so fucking weird-“

Your mouth couldn’t keep up with your brain you were so flustered, and all you heard on the other end of the line was Tom chuckling softly, which only confused you even more.

“Are you- are you laughing? Because I’m having a heart attack,” you half-muttered, sitting down with your heavy head in your hands. It was pounding with panic and confusion and couldn’t hold itself upright any longer.

“Take a breath, y/n. The world isn’t ending-”

“Yes it is!” you teared up, feeling your phone buzzing out of control in your palm.

“Baby, no it’s not. Stay there and I’ll be over in 5.” Tom hung up the phone and you went to check your texts, every app under the sun pouring in with notifications of screenshots and callouts about what you had just revealed. When Tom finally knocked on your front door, you basically fell apart in his arms before he made it past the threshold.

“Tom, I’m freaking out, everyone is saying we’re-” he cut you off with an unexpectedly sweet kiss, this proving to be the only thing that could get you to stop panic-rambling. Your eyes fluttered shut against your mind’s wishes to keep pumping with adrenaline.

“Yes, darling, most people are speculating all over the internet that we’re an item because they saw your livestream,” he said, walking you to your couch and sitting down, guiding you to sit on his lap. “You have a much bigger following than I thought.” he grinned at you, but all you could do was frown back.

“Oh, god. I ruined everything.”

“No, you didn’t. It was about time people started knowing I was off the market,” Tom said, running a soothing hand through your hair as you continued to pout at him. 

“...Really?”

“Yes! I mean, it’s just cruel that I’ve had all this to myself-”—he gave your body a once-over—“and couldn’t show it off, y’know.”

That got you to crack a small smile, and Tom capitalized on that moment and pushed you down onto the couch to hover over you, peppering you with obnoxious kisses. Admittedly, he’d made a valiant effort to distract you, but you playfully swatted at him to get off because you were nowhere near done being dramatic about this. 

“Okay, so wait, you’re — Tom, stop that — you’re not upset?” You found your previous spot etched into his lap and settled back down, interlocking your hands and playing with his slender fingers.

“Actually, no, I’m not,” he said, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly. “Thought I would be, but, honestly? It feels good, love. I don’t have to hide you anymore. I never wanted to in the first place.”

You gave him an audible awww and snuggled into his chest, wrapping your arms around him and trying your best to squeeze him until he popped. “I’m sorry it couldn’t happen on your own terms, though, it was just a dumb mistake,” you sighed into his shirt.

“Are you kidding? The fans are eating this up. They’re dubbing it ‘shirtgate’,” he laughed and shrugged again, “I don’t even know what that means.”

You giggled into his chest and brought your face back up to his, kissing his forehead, then nose, then lips. You went for a deeper kiss the second time, but he interrupted you.

“Although, I did tell you y’should’ve just stayed shirtless.”

You feigned offense at what he said and instinctively covered your chest by crossing your arms over one another.

“Well good luck getting me shirtless now, Holland.”

“Excuse me?!”

“What a horrible time to prove a point!”

You both laughed as he tried to wrestle your arms apart, but they didn’t budge. You gave an impressive fight, but Tom got the better of you, and ended up throwing you over his shoulder from the couch and carrying you upside-down into your bedroom. You seized your opportunity and pinched two handfuls of his butt, chuckling.

“Hey, I like the view.”

“Did you just grab my ass?!”

He dropped you down onto your bed and walked away, coming back in with his gray shirt and throwing it at you.

“Put it on, babe.”

You obliged all while staring at him puzzled as he twiddled away on his phone. Once you were dressed, he sat down next to you, put his phone up to face you both, and turned on his instagram live.

“Tom! What are you-” you gasped but had to stop speaking as thousands of people were already tuning into his stream.

“Hey, everybody! Me and y/n here. We know there has been some buzz going around about this shirt,“ he pointed to you and you smiled awkwardly. “and wanted to set the record straight.” Tom put his arm around your shoulders and you were suddenly in the foreground of the screen.

“Yes, it is mine. And she does look amazing in gray, doesn’t she?” you started to giggle and blush incessantly as he kissed your cheek, gave a casual wave goodbye, and shut off his phone.

“Uh, what did you just do?”

“Gave ‘em something to talk about.” he flipped his phone onto silent, grinned and came back over to you, fingers already fussing with the oversized shirt, starting to tug it upwards.

“We’re so screwed.” you said eliciting a laugh from him, leaning back so he could take in more of your features that he loved oh-so much.

“So, you know me, I’m on the record as loving you in this shirt,” he said, his voice already sounding lower, softer, huskier.

“Mmhmm,” you played along.

“But I’d like it much better off again.”

#hrficbingo1k #tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland imagines #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfics #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fanfictions #tom holland blurb #tom holland blurbs #tom holland one shot #tom holland one shots #tom holland x reader

[shortyisweird9]

'Lonely ghost serie'

Quiet Night - part I

Tw: swearing ⚠️

It all started on a quiet night, the raining outside trying desperately to calm your nerves. To stop this feeling of shutting down that creeps down your back.

You don't know why you feel like this, why your internal organs feel like they will give up on you any second, why your lungs seemed to be on the verge of collapsing, why you couldn't sleep and why you couldn't keep your mind quiet. Your anxiety made you feel like every you think you have will be gone on the blink of the eye, your depression made you feel worthless, just a waste of space, time, money and resources. A nothing that won't be missed if something were to happened to it. But they were wrong , you were more than that.

You sighed, licking your dry lips as your tired eyes watched the dark room. Shadows that made your imagination ran wilde. When you were a kid , you used to be afraid of the dark ,now you found solace in it. Shelter from the loud,obnoxious, scary world that was outside of your small house.

What I won't give from some water.

You didn't want to get up as you fixed your disheveled clothes on your plump body but you couldn't sleep on the overturned bed or have any wish to hop on YouTube or any crime investigation shows. You couldn't shout at your cat to bring you water, she will ignore you anyway.

You sighed, cleaning your eyes fron what remained of your tears before sucking in the walls of your mouth to create some interesting sounds of boredom.

As your mind did the excruciatingly hard task of thinking, your phone binged. A message but from who?

It was from your friend, Sabrina. She is an avid player of Among us even start a channel called dum Red where she and other classmates played. You are cool with the game ,not your favourite but a good pass up time.

"Hey, what's up?" She wrote.

"This early you are up?"

"Yeah ,why not."

"*?"

"You will be dead tomorrow. "

"I suffer for the entertainment of others."

You laughed as you imagined the face full of tiredness of your friend. You were the night owl of the group but she... she is an imposter. Trying to pass up as a night owl but she is just a morning seagull.

"So.. wanna come up on the feed? =))"

"Hmm..you sure? I don't want to fuck up your stream."

"Nonsense, they will love you."

You sighed, it's not like you had anything better to do.

"Fine."

"Yayyyy💖💖"

You groaned as your eyes burned from the brightness of the monitor, the writing hazy as ever. You moved to get your glasses from the night table, stretching and sighing when you heard the satisfying pop from your lower back. As you let Windows ran its course ,you grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, cold water was superior by a long shot. Your cat was watching you with her big yellow eyes. You baby talked with her for a bit ,petting her then washing your hands.

The invitation of the link long send ,was quickly tapped in.

"Hey ,guys! Welcome back!" Your friend's voice ran in your room before you entered the headphones cord.

"Guys, I told you it was pink. You never believe me."

You smiled as the usual banter raged on , nice to know that even at this hour people were more alive than asleep.

"Yeah, yeah. Roberts you always complain."

"Because I am always right."

"Cool your jets ,Jamal. Don't pull out the 9."

They laughed at their friend's expanse.

"Whatever."

"Um ,Red?"

"Yeah , Steve? What's up?"

"The sky."

"Robert, shut."

"Um..who is ghost?"

"Who? Ah! Everyone ,please say hi to my friend, Y- ghost!"

The loud chorus of salutations hit your ears as their characters circled around your still one. It was white with red pointy horns ,you liked the aesthetic of it.

"Um..ghost? Are you-..Are you there?"

"Ghost?"

You sighed, getting ready to talk after making sure it was on.

"Ghost? Hey, it's okay. We don't bite." A worried voice calm you a bit.

"Not too hard, ha."

"Ghost!"

"Ghost!"

"Ghost!"

They all began hitting on the desks with their fists to create a beat. Poor desks.

"Gho-"

"'Sup motherfuckers."

The quiet settled in, making your dread more prominent and your skin tingle. You wanted to say something but the boys and girls beat you to it:

"OH MY - FUCKING- GOD!"

"NO FUCKING WAY!"

"What the fuck? Sovereign is that you?"

"Red you didn't tell us your friends with a MOTHERFUCKING reaper."

You laughed as the voice changer made it deeper, mechanic but enought to ignite something judging by the face of your school pal , Matthew.

"What's the manner toots? My voice is too much to handle?"

They were quiet again as Matthew cleaned his throat to finally address.

"Very funny, best friend. I am dying of laughter. "

He smiled though, knowing you were just teasing him.

"The matter of death remains to be determine."

"Phew ,is it hot in here or it's just..."

"You. It's just you." You spoke watching the blond boy with milk skin and acne scars move his green shirt to cool off, you chuckled at this.

People are so easy to get a reaction from. Not like you, yourself, haven't been affected by the charm of a deep voice.

"Ready to play?" Came the cheery voice of Sabrina as you watched her move in the chair, playing with her sand blonde curls and wearing your lavender hoodie.

"You still haven't got me the hoodie back, Red."

"Yeah, Red. You don't want Sovereign daddy to be mad,do you?"

You snorted in an ugly manner at the nicknamed a dude called David put you. He had a small moustache, black curls fit in a square like afro. He may be the Arab friend Sabrina told you about. He seemed nice, maybe a bit shy but then again so were you. Hmm...not shy,more like reserved. You liked being alone but you also craved the touch of another being.

"Mommy, David, mommy. "

"Ooooh!"

"Alright you horny bitches ,time to play."

With that Sabrina began the match as your smirk grew when the word IMPOSTER was displayed on your screen.

Time to kill some bitches.

————————————————————

In the other corner of the internet, Corpse was getting ready to hop on another live stream with Jackie boy and Pewds. He loved how his life changed , how his supporters were kind and understanding. He was still nervous yes but the thrill was outweighed by the happiness of just being around so many good people.

His phone started to blow up as he was putting his headphones. People were tagging him on a small video of an Among us live stream, he pressed play not thinking much about the title of the video : HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?!!

The film started with the host presenting their friends who seemed to by a bit scared of saying hi. The others started cheering them on but stopped abruptly when a deep mechanical voice hit their audio. It was from a voice changer no doubt but still..it shocked them as it did for him.

His eyes skipped on the funny comments left by his fans. Some where calling them his twin, other called for a collab and others thought it was actually he who spoke.

The other thing that stood out was the match. Ghost as she calls herself ended their match in one go... by killing all of them except the other imposter. He smiled at that , impressed of the skill of a casual player as her friend dum Red said she was.

A notification came from Discord, it was Lily. She send the same video he's been watching with the caption: Hey, guys! Look what I found.

The others flooded the chat with their own reaction as he drank his boba tea. The consensus was that they wanted to play with this person. His smile grew was the word 'yes' was sent.

This will be fun.

————————————————————

Hey guys! 💖

Hope you liked the first part of the serie! Feel free to comment your thoughts and opinions but please be nice and respectful. 👉🥺👈

Anyway, see yah!

#corpse husband x reader #x reader #fanfic #hopefully not cringy #lonely ghost serie

[lilmissbacon]

Why Jelsa is Ridiculously Stupid

Let me start off by saying that the idea of this ship was cute at first, I have nothing against it. In fact I have a few ships myself that have nothing to back them up. I am not making this to convince people to be anti, stop the ship itself, or spread any form of hate what so ever.

But this Jelsa fandom has gone too far. And when I say "jelsa shippers," of course I don't mean ALL of them, just about 80% of them.

In fact, I'm very appreciative of the few jelsa shippers who don't go around harassing others because "jelsa is life."

Also, allow me to correct you in saying that I'm not a jelsa hater, I'm a jelsa loather. There's a difference. Most jelsa haters, hate jelsa for the sake of hating it.

I genuinely hate it.

And don't go commenting about, "how do you know you don't like it if you've never tried it?" Because you see, that's where you're wrong. I did used to ship it, when I was 11. I was a child, I was new to the internet, I didn't know better. But I do now!

I am writing this so that some who may not know, will now understand why jelsa is bad and because I need to get all of this out of my system. I am slowly dieing inside.

First; I'm gonna go into how all the excuses to ship this are pointless. Next, I'll talk about just how these two would never work out as a couple. Then, will be what the toxicity has done to not just to the ship itself, but to the big four as well. And finally, I'll go into how uncreative the shippers are and just what horrible/stupid things they've done and are still doing.

1) Excuses are Pointless

Excuse #1: They have the same powers.

...Yeah, that's like saying you ship Lavagirl (Sharboy and Lavagirl) and Bolin (LoK) because they can both control lava. That's not a valid reason to ship anyone. There needs to be actual substance and I'll only say that once because that sentence applies to every excuse here.

Excuse #2: They look alike

🤦🤦🤦 First of all: that's also like saying you ship Tiana (Princess and the Frog) and Frozone (The Incredibles) because they're both black. Second of all: no they don't. It may be because I'm an artist so I notice small details, but here's how it is; Jack's hair is white, Elsa's is platinum blonde. Jack has a square chin, Elsa has a round face. Jack is much paler! THEIR EYES AREN'T EVEN THE SAME SHADE OF BLUE!!! Your excuse is null and void. Even so, if characters do look alike, then they're most likely to be related. Especially in animation.

Excuse #3: Jack can teach Elsa to have fun and Elsa can teach Jack to be serious

This clearly proves the point that jelsa shippers don't know these characters. The job of teaching Elsa how to be social and have fun is already taken by Anna. So if anything, Elsa will see Jack as a younger brother. And Jack wouldn't have been chosen to take on such a responsibility of guardianship if he didn't know when to quit. I don't know what it is about playful characters that make people think they're obnoxious. Jack is an immortal teenager with the heart of a child, that's what makes him a good guardian. But he's been alive for over 300 years, he bound to have the mind capacity of an adult and he does know better. He doesn't play when he's in battle, he's dead serious.

Excuse #4: They understand each other because they were both isolated for a long time

I don't know where you come from but people don't really "bond" over their trauma. Infact, if anything, that would make the relationship more unstable. Plus, Elsa isolated herself for 13 years because she was afraid of her powers. Jack was forced into isolation for 300 years! He has never been afraid of his powers and Elsa could still be seen throughout the day by parents and servants. They would never be able understand what the other went through.

Excuse #5: They both have a sister they love

SO WHAT?! At least half of the population have sisters. Simple as that. It's a horrible excuse.

Excuse #6: They both have an enemy in fear

Bruh, almost every fictional character has to deal with their fears, literal or mental. It's not at all unique to these two.

Excuse #7: Jack can teach Elsa to control her powers

She already has control of them by the end of the movie. And even if you mean prier to that, the reason she couldn't control them was because she feared them. I doubt that even if she could see him and if he showed her his powers, she's be irrational, believing that their powers were different.

Excuse #8: William Joyce says he ships it

Really, you're going to base the possibility of a ship because the writer of the 'books' that "inspired" rotg says he likes it. First: the books and movie are not the same worlds. Two: he most likely stated this in order for jelsa shippers to shut up to him about it. And three: his own canon with the books is a mess as it is. With him adding a bunch on random/unnecessary details on twitter that have no relevance or reference in the books. Even if he does ship it, everything that's going on with Jack's character in the books is weird enough as it is. Plus he's physically 14 in the books. I know age doesn't really matter but Elsa would definitely feel weird about dating someone who looks so young when she's currently 24 by the second movie.

Excuse #9: They could've met before the events of rotg

Not a reason to ship them but whatever 🙄 Even if their stories were based in the same world (which it isn't), Elsa never would've believed in fairy tales. Having to grow up so soon and all. She believes in magic, of course, but you need to believe in the individuals themselves in order to see them. Plus it is very clear in rotg that Jamie is Jack's first believer.

Excuse #10: Now that Frozen 2 is out, they are both spirits who followed the memories of their loved ones. They can live forever together!

Once AGAIN, how does this factor to them being a good couple? Plus the title of spirit is different in the Frozen-verse than the Guardian-verse. Guardian-verse; they are un-aging beings who keep the entire world in balance. Frozen-verse; never confirmed to be immortal (especially since 3 out of 5 spirits are inanimate objects), magical things that keep a single forest secure. The only reason the elements needed a fifth spirit was most likely because the one before Elsa died of old age. Plus the idea of Elsa outliving Anna goes against the theme of sisterly love that both movies strive on. This can be changed in fanfiction but I hate how people lie about her mortality for an excuse to ship.

Excuse #11: They're both single

So what? People ship characters who aren't single with other characters all the time. That's not a reason to ship them. Especially since your statement is false because Tooth is Jack's canon love interest.

It is true that jelsa haters will give reasons to not ship that I necessarily don't agree with.

•Like the age gap — Jack has the mental capacity of an adult, as I've said before. He's smart enough to make his own choices.

•Elsa not being immortal — that doesn't mean they can't still date, even if he outlives her. Plus you can change that in fanfiction.

•They come from different studios and will never be canon — Again, this is fanfiction, we can do whatever we want.

•Elsa is independent and shipping her with someone takes her independence away — for one: most of the world is bound to find love at some point in time. I would imagine that Elsa would want to find love like her sister. Two: Mulan, Pocahontas and Jasmine are very independent and they all still ended up with men. Three: she's not that independent to begin with. Independence isn't relationship status, it's your ability to make it on your own and Elsa is clearly, very dependant on Anna and her safety. Which is actually what pushes her to being a bad sister in Frozen 2. In fact it is because they made her more 'independant' in the sequel that Elsa clearly, no longer loves Anna as much as Anna loves her (you can check out Watso Videos' video on YouTube about how Elsa is a bad sister bc I'm not gonna go into it here).

My god that was ALL just part one. This is gonna take forever 😰

2) How they would never work out

For Elsa, she needs someone who is calm and collected. A rock for her to stand on when she's being irrational. Possibly even someone who is very stoic and straight to the point but with enough sense of humor to lighten the mood. And now that I'm thinking about it, Honeymaren fits that description to a tee. I'm not one to push LGBT+ in anyone's face, but I'm not gonna judge ships on characters assumed sexualities either. Even though Honeymaren didn't have much screen time, her personality still showed through and Elsamaren could very well work.

Jack on the other hand needs someone who would be able to keep up with his playful nature as well as be a rock for him to stand on when he's emotional. Tooth is a good suitor even though I don't really ship it myself. Hiccup, Merida and Rapunzel could also fit in this description.

They don't have the ability to be each other's rocks. They can't be stable if they both need someone to keep them so. If they were to date, the relationship would crumble before it even began.

Plus Jack has to be a guardian and there are a lot of fanfics that go into this idea of Jack being the king of Arendalle? First off: I'm fairly certain that you can't marry into royalty to become king. At least in the real world. Second: Jack wouldn't be able to handle that responsibility with him already being a guardian. And he can't just leave guardianship either, it was what he always was and was ment to be. And Elsa has the responsibility of keeping a magical forest in check, she can't leave to become a guardian.

3) The Toxicity

Oh my God! The fanfiction! As I usually say, you can do whatever you want in fanfiction. But if you have to butcher all the characters so much in EVERY fanfic in order to make the ship work, then there's clearly something wrong here! In every fanfic I've ever seen, the characters are so out of character it's insane. Not just Jack and Elsa, every character.

Olaf for example, is practically in love with Jack first meeting, in every fanfic. If he were to actually meet Jack, he would be apprehensive of him.

It's horrifying in not only that, but jelsa shippers will add Rapunzel a lot, just in spite of Jackunzel. They turn Rapunzel into a needy ex-girlfriend of Jack's when in reality, she's a very sweet and kind soul. Even if she and Jack had dated, they would've split on good terms and stayed friends after. There have also been cases where they do the same but with Tooth. Sometimes even both and it's honestly sick.

And let's talk about the sexism as well HAHA! I swear to God, they will rewrite Frozen but where Jack will save Elsa instead of Anna. They write Elsa as a hormonal teenage girl who falls in love with Jack within seconds.

This is from an actual jelsa shipper, my dude. WTF!!! They make Jack super dominant as well as a douche who cheats on Elsa half the time. Jack is not that dominant, he's a very emotional guy. And he'd be the most faithful boyfriend on the planet. He was alone for 300 years! If anything, he'd be clingy but not too clingy because he also understands personal space.

And if you like angsty fanfiction where a character cheats on the other, there are literally no fanfics where Elsa cheats on Jack. As if a woman couldn't possibly cheat. This is very sexist towards men and women and is toxic as hell.

If anything, Elsa would cheat on Jack, she's not exactly trustworthy in keeping promises or being loyal.

I swear, half of the jelsa shippers has never even seen rotg and just go by what they read in others fanfiction.

Jelsa shippers have gotten so bad about this ship that they've low-key harassed people for not shipping it, as well as start shipping wars within the big four fandom. That's the reason the fandom truly shrunk after 2013. I've seen posts about people admitting to leaving the fandom because it got so bad.

4) The Shippers

Jelsa shippers have literally threatened lives, not just to other fans but even to the creators of the movies. Literally threatening them into making the ship canon. They've made patitions to make it canon as if that would work. They've even harassed a lot of recent shippers to Elsamaren because "jelsa is canon."

Oh look at that, they're homophobic too...

...

...

...

... That's great 🙃

Isn't it a bigger sin to love a celestial being though? Therefore the fact that you –as a toxic christian– ship Elsa with a spirit it worse.

THEY'RE DELUSIONAL!!! So many of them have shipped jelsa so long that legit think it's canon!

Not only all that mess but there are literally more jelsa games on the internet then there are Merida games. I'm specifying this for personal reasons (aka Merida is my fave Disney princess)

And let's continue on with what really aggravates me as an artist. Jelsa shippers, stealing artwork, mostly from Jackunzel. This is not just a rumor, it's very much real.

And it doesn't help when all of their actual original fanart is just them taking scenes from Frozen and adding Jack. Then to add more salt on the wound is that almost all the fanfiction is the same, whether it'd be based during Frozen, rotg or in a highschool au.

There's literally nothing original about or going on with this ship, even after Frozen 2 came out, the shippers and fanfiction haven't changed. If anything it made the shippers spike up again.

The only thing that could say is original about jelsa is the frost daughter fanon. Oh boy! What we have to unpack here.

This is something that I recently heard about...

...

I am mortified.

Frost daughters is this little thing that jelsa shippers came up with, believing Jack and Elsa (if they could get pregnant) would have nothing but girls. What's scary about it is they're designs. Like they're trying to be original... But it's not really going great.

Most of them are just young!Elsa copies, some are edits of Elsa with Jack's hair color.

For example:

This is fine, this follows genetrical rules. I'm fine with this.

But what has me low-key petrified are some of the other designs.

Like... WTF IS ALL OF THIS!!! Where are this colors coming from?!! I don't understand 😭 You can see in the screen shots that these are literally titled as daughters of jelsa.

The white haired ones are fine. The ginger is understandable. Got it from Elsa's dad's genes. That's okay. A few are wearing pink? They can wear what ever they want. But wtf I'd going on with Nevada? Why is she black? Jack and Elsa the pastiest of white! And you cannot tell me that she got it from Elsa's mom because this was made BEFORE Frozen 2 and her mother is still white as an adult.

Where tf does the blue and pink hair come from? None of these make sense!

I want to kill myself, just looking at these!

That's gonna be the end of this rant

Now I'll say it again, I really have nothing against the ship itself. I too have casual ships that make no sense. But with ALL the fanfiction and fanart being so unoriginal and most jelsa shippers low-key being dangerous, it's hard for me respect people's opinions about it.

I try, trust me, I do! But it's become so murky in my brain that I can't tell the difference anymore and I'm also just not a fan of Elsa's character in general. And I like ships that actually make sense.

And being that I'm an equalist... it's really hard for me to look at this stuff and not get pissed off. I'm sorry if all of this comes off as aggressive because it kinda is.

I'm just very passionate, okay?

I hope you understand where I'm coming from. None of the pictures I used are mine. And I hope you have a good day?

#anti jelsa #antijelsa #jack frost #anti elsa #DreamWorks #disney #ships #hate jelsa #the big five

[borisbubbles]

ESC 2021 Preshow: 08. France

Barbara Pravi - “Voilà”

Autoqualifier

France going from 3rd last on my ranking / likely last place in the finale to 8th place in the ranking / probably top 3 in the Grand Final. 😍 WHAT A GLOW-UP.

So, “Voilà” is epic, obviously. Yeah I will skip the theatrics, each and every one of you know this song and we all know it’s probably the best French entry in ages. 

Funnily enough, I didn’t care for “Voilà” when I first heard it lmfao. It felt similar to the song Patricia Kaas went to Eurovision with and while “Et s’il faillait le faire” has its fans, I was never one of them. Worse, the internet immediately resorted to refering to “Voilà” as a “masterpiece” which is probably the pretentious statement you can make about Eurovision songs. Guys, it’s an Edith Piaf-inspired tribute act. Calm the eff down. Still, even at this early a stage I was instantly charmed by Barbara’s introspection and pluck even if I didn’t care for the music at first. After all, Barbara was the mastermind behind jesc HITS “Bim bam toi” and “J’imagine” and if she wants to bring a song that puts HER SELF at the forefront, she’s perfectly entitled to do so. About fucking time. On top of that, I thought the ending was sublime, even in studio version. “Why can’t the entire song be like that”, I thought. And then, E:CVQD arrived and Barbara SERVED, OUTSOLD, SLAYED, etc every superlative under the sun. 

So remember when I aired my critique regarding Gjon? “Tout l’Univers” is an “Objectively Strong” composition in that it employs music theory to conjure up a song that sounds impressive on first listen. But behind that academic skill lies virtually nothing of interest. I cannot connect with it beyond a base level because what does it tell me about Gjon or his story? Technique without a heart or a soul is merely pretense. But I suppose it can sound sophisticated to someone who doesn’t know what “sophistication” is. 

Barbara, however. Her personality just SPRINGS FORWARD on an approachable level from the first note. “Voilà”s’s technical expertise and Barbara’s own perfomance talents carry this vibe, this SERVE of personality, through the full three minutes without ever getting boring or tedious and they leave me craving for another listen. ALL OF THESE ARE AMAZING TRAITS IN A EUROVISION SONG. And this is just from the studio version, the live stage show makes it even better. 

So yeah, homeboy’s got his work cut out for him because if this is his competition he’ll have to graft hard for his victory.

NF Corner -  C’est Vous Qui Décidez

In what would become a running theme amidst countries this year, France led the charge in a personal project called #OperationForget2020, in which every trace of last year would be subsequently memory-holed. To acheive this, they revived their NF, gave it a new name and pretended it was ~The First NF of Its Format~ (so basically doing what Lithuania did last year when they rebranded Atranka into PiN).

INCIDENTALLY, this would also wind up the best NF of the year, pretty much by default because France had the most to win. Even though Barbara was the obvious winner from the instant the songs were revealed, the French had some excellent back-up options in their arsenal. Let’s rummage through them shall we?

LMK - “Magique”

R&B Trap wench <3 “Magique” starts off pretty and cute for fifteen seconds, before whiplashing hard into kick-ass tropical house territory. Her Slovene spirit mothers Raiven and Lea Sirk are so proud of her <3 She definitely deserved much better than the result she got (being NQ with the audience O_O), but lol it’s France, they ain’t NEVER crowning a sexually confident sassy woman, let’s not kid ourselves. 

Céphaz - “On a mangé le soleil”

This Hat God had me at that title. “We have eaten the sun” 😍😍😍😍. More songs should adopt a fatalistic environmental angle by using consumption-related metaphors à la “we’ve devoured out planet :burp:, MOAR”, and then set this suuuuper cynical and depressing text to an upbeat and optimistic soundtrack <3 The “Hey ya” tease of it all. 😍

Amui - “Maeva”

So cheerful it turns a surly cretin such as myself into a blundering mass of uwu. It’s like a nillies Eurovision semi NQ’er suddenly wandered into the set, so derivative and repetitive and tacky but SO fun and happy-go-lucky <3 The entire premise of “Maeva” is basically like: “VISIT FRENCH POLYNESIA, WE ARE THE MOST HOSPITABLE PEOPLE ON THIS EARTH” <333 using this message in the middle of a worldwide viral pandemic <33333333 Normally fun-trash like this would be murdered at first sight by any jury, but whoops “Maeva” turned out a massive televote hit HEHEE 😛 and finished third in the televote despite being last or second last with the jury. Those Tahitian diasporia votes coming through <3

Adriamad - “Allélujah”

TACKY EUROTRASH <3 Lol when I think of it, did I like this NF because it was good or because it was so fun-trash. Anyway, this display of diversity would normally be on my shitlist but it’s honestly SO OTT in its ~People Of The World Of All Colours Are Equal~ message it circles back into funny. The eye gimmick, the hammy choreography, the obnoxious fusion of several cultures into a nondescript ethnotrash hodgepodge, the fucking LYRICS everything is so funny and so entertaining it’s giving me LIFE. 😍 I’d say it deserved better but “Allélujah” stranding in the demifinal (not a typo) is honestly a much, much more satisfying result <3

Predicted Journey - France

Barbara is going on that Mahmood trajectory, I see. Early fave who gets near unanimous critical acclaim, rules solely on top until the other contenders show up and is then put on the backburner because she’s an autoqualifier and therefore isn’t a part of the “who will qualify?” discussions. Then, the rehearsals will happen and everyone will remember “hey, that French chick we almost forgot about is actually REALLY good” allowing her to pick up momentum again, catapulting her into the top five. So it is written, such it shall be.

The question is... Can she win? 

The answer is: yeah, possibly? At this point we have three potential contenders: Gjon for Switzerland and Destiny for Malta are the main rivals and I’d say Barbara has one big advantage over Gjon and Destiny: She already has a great live performance to back up her potential winner status. In fact, Barbara is a fave to win because we know what she’s going to bring in Rotterdam.  Gjon and Destiny could theoretically still bomb if their staging is off (and both are getting theirs done by Sasha Jean-Baptiste, soooooo) and their contenderness is based on things such as hype and expectation. Barbara meanwhile already had her baptism by fire when she competed in E:CQVD, which she handily won.

The problem though is Gjon Muharremaj. For the average eurofan, France and Switzerland have similar entries and it will result in a tug-of-war between which of them has the better song. Either could win this televote bout, and whoever does could beat Malta.. .but that would require Malta to have a disappointing televote result and with each passing day this is starting to look less likely. (Jury results matter less because they’re probably the top 3).  Personally I don’t really have a preference between Barbara OR Destiny as a win for either would push Eurovision in a better direction (A Gjon win though... I am TERRIFIED that may result in a 2022 contest filled with Vincent Bueno’s and Vasils), but if these three are indeed the top three, Barbara’s position is the most secure although she’s probably also the least likely one to actually win. Pray that I’m wrong though and we can all meet at her flat in Montmartre for a covid-proof afterparty. 

Projected placements:

> Grandfinal: 1st-5th (predicted Runner-up)

THE RANKING: 

01. 02. 03. 04. 05. 06. 07. 08. FRANCE - Barbara Pravi - “Voilà” 09. BULGARIA - Victoria - “Growing up is getting old” 10. LATVIA - Samanta Tina - “The moon is rising” 11. GREECE - Stefania - “Last dance” 12. SWEDEN - Tusse - “Voices” 13. IRELAND - Leslie Roy - “Maps” 14. CROATIA - Albina - “Tick Tock” 15. MOLDOVA - Natalia Gordienko - “Sugar” 16. ITALY - Måneskin - “Zitti e buoni” 17. ALBANIA - Anxhela Peristeri - “Karma” 18. UNITED KINGDOM - James Newman - “Embers” 19. LITHUANIA - The Roop - “Discoteque” 20. ESTONIA - Uku Suviste - “The lucky one” 21. FINLAND - Blind Channel - “Dark side” 22. AZERBAIJAN - Efendi - “Mata Hari” 23. the NETHERLANDS - Jeangu Macrooy - “Birth of a new age” 24. CZECH REPUBLIC - Benny Christo - “Omaga” 25. DENMARK - Fyr og Flamme - “Øve os på hinanden” 26. SLOVENIA - Ana Soklič - “Amen” 27. SWITZERLAND - Gjon’s Tears - “Tout l’Univers” 28. ROMANIA - Roxen - “Amnesia” 29. SERBIA - Huricane - “Loco loco” 30. POLAND - Rafał - “The ride” 31. ISRAEL - Eden Alene - “Set me free” 32. GEORGIA - Tornike Kipiani - “You” 33. PORTUGAL - The Black Mamba - “Love is on my side” 34. SPAIN - Blas Cantó - “Voy a quedarme” 35. NORWAY - Tix - “Fallen Angel” 36. CYPRUS - Elena Tsagrinou - “El Diablo” 37. AUSTRIA - Vincent Bueno - “Amen” 38. NORTH MACEDONIA - Vasil - “Here I stand” 39. GERMANY - Jendrik - “I don’t feel hate”

#Eurovision #Eurovision Song Contest #Eurovision 2021 #ESC 2021 #ESC2021 #France #Barbara Pravi #Voilà

[permian-tropos]

Yeah I don’t get the back-peddling to ‘it was a joke geez’ since all this group seems to talk about is burakhovsky and how mystified they are about people continuing to ship it after they wrote the definitive dankovsky call-out post or whatever.

Like hate the guy if you want, half of all bachelor content is making fun of him anyway, but the disconnect from regular human interaction required to think that internet equivalent of yelling in town square about how people who didn’t stop watching some popular but ~*problematic*~ tv show or something are hurting them personally not only entitles them to continued engagement with those people but should lead to an immediate sea change in fandom is astronomical.

Yeah I think you’ve hit the nail on the head -- you’ve got a little group of people who are spinning in confused circles like “why is there not a huge anti movement for this ship??? come on people?? we TOLD you it was problematic, doesn’t that make an antifandom appear overnight??” 

Having been in the Star Wars fandom, the thought of there being a dedicated burda antifandom like there was for reylo just makes me go *deep pained wheezing noises*. Like anti reylos were well and truly addicted to hating the ship because they felt like they had to do it to convince Lucasfilm not to make it canon and then it became canon and was dreadful and they’re like “oh god we needed to be MORE obnoxious” bc modern fandoms are so poisoned by the unhealthy and definitely corporate-encouraged paradigm where they bait you into thinking you can influence canon by being loud enough because of course all your drama on twitter is free advertising.  

But instead I’d much rather treat the Pathologic fandom as like... just a meeting-up place for people. Let people come here with what they’ve got on their minds creatively and self-expressively, this isn’t about rousing up a movement to rally behind a moral banner (because there are other, much more appropriate spaces, for rallying behind a moral banner!). It’s fine too that some people were going to come here with “fuck I hate Dankovsky so much” on their minds but those people have to recognize that this meeting space is going to have “fuck I love Dankovsky so much” people in it too because where else are Dankovsky lovers going to go? You really going to say there’s something inappropriate about people who love one of the protagonists of Pathologic taking up space in the fandom for Pathologic?

#asks #untitled plague game #ship discourse cw

[oh-boleyn]

jane / infamy

words: 6216, one shot, language: english

anne / jane /  katherine / catherine

as I said on my ao3, this might be my last one shot in a while (I’m really struggling with college right now, like in this moment I should be doing two assigments which... clearly I’m not doing), but still I hope you all enjoy this piece of garbage of story!

TW: canon, Jane being mean? probably more swearing that what is expected from a jane one shot

the commentary between scenes are things I got from internet about Jane Seymour

Remembered for: being the only wife to provide Henry with a son and male heir.

(…)

Jane Seymour was relieved.

The light is brighter, and her dizziness is starting to fade.

No more pain or ache in her lower body, and she feels quite better than in a long time. Her arms are longing to hold her baby, dear Edward, who has just secured her the position of queen.

She opens her eyes, but instead of finding her chambers, she is in a strange looking room, with Anne Boleyn and Catherine of Aragon. Jane wants to cry, knowing immediately what it meant. She is dead, there is no other way to turn it around. She died and was found guilty of her sins, was it her hell? Being with the other two queens? God punishment for seducing a married man?

They all stare at each other, not knowing how to proceed.

(…)

Virtue and common good sense.

(…)

The new house is nothing like what she was used to, and sharing a room with both Catherines wasn’t exactly in her dreams.

She had less problems with accepting Catherine rather than Anne, after all, with the last the relationship had been more than rocky, but Catherine probably wasn’t Jane’s biggest fan either. Even after the older queen’s death, Jane had always tried her best with Mary, attempting to help her image, trying to reconcile with the religion.

Parr wasn’t bad, but she was quite closed. They weren’t acquaintances in their past lives, but that didn’t mean Catherine would introduce herself and invite her to grab a snack or something. It was hard to think about her, how connected both were but how apart too. The most she would talk was about history, or science, or another thing Jane couldn’t bring herself to truly understand and would be left just nodding along.

(…)

When she died, he actually sunk into depression, officially mourning her for two years before marrying again.

(…)

Looking for a job is not an easy task, it’s not like she ever had to do that before. Her kinsman secured her a good place as the lady of the queen, and even when the court became hostile and fell apart, she managed to still have her place.

But now jobs required so much, not just her needlework and knowing how to perform the arts —whatever arts you want that to mean. Modern positions searched for way too many qualities she doesn’t have.

When Catherine offers the idea of doing a show, she says yes out of desperation of not knowing how to do anything else, not even how get the oven to work. Once it goes out of her mouth, she truly wishes the rest of the queens don’t notice how needy she is of the opportunity.

(…)

By that account, she was practically a saint!

(…)

Opening night was stressful to say the least. There are at least a hundred pairs of eyes on her, and her song – her song! While everyone clapped along Aragon’s and Boleyn’s, her part was different, way out of the upbeat modern pop style.

She couldn’t even have a fun, upbeat song.

It’s not like she didn’t want to, Jane tried so hard to add comic relief to her story, trying puns and obnoxious screaming. But her song was slow, more of a ballad instead of the pop-rock songs the show featured. And, to top it, she was the only one who talked about understanding Henry, about loving him, staying by his side.

Of fucking course, she had to be the sweet woman who just happened to love a horrible man.

(…)

Jane was Henry’s true love.

(…)

It is hard to fill her place, her own shoes she left behind when she died.

Jane Seymour, known because she was the one he truly loved. The one he asked to be painted years after she died, instead of just letting her rest in peace. Jane, the dutiful wife, the one who had the son he so desperately wanted.

And the audience loved it, they loved to see the dutiful mother, the one who can’t stop talking about her son. They cheered, they heard everything they always knew.

Because she wasn’t an interesting character in the story, she was just another woman there to obey the orders of the king.

She wishes she was known for something else, but that’s not her life. Of course, playing another character would be fun, being the temptress, the evil stepmother, the fun one, someone people actually cared about. Instead, she was the tedious, boring perfect wife. Reduced to her uterus capacity, and ability to shut her mouth.

(…)

I assure you she is as gentle a lady as ever I knew, and as fair a Queen as any in Christendom.

(…)

“Good morning, Katherine.” Jane says.

The teenager enters the kitchen with heavy steps, still not quite awake from the night of sleep.

“Morning.” She replies, voice small.

“Would you like something to eat?”

“Do you know how to cook?” Katherine retorts, a smug look on her face. “Don’t worry, I will buy something. Maybe cheesecake? Or apple pie?”

“Why not a chocolate cake.” Jane offers, getting the water off of the stove, almost burning herself in the process.

“Do you like chocolate cake?” The younger asks, “I would have pinned you as a vanilla kind of person.”

Jane feels judged. The smile on Katherine’s face just says it all.

“I prefer it, but never mind.” The teenager finishes.

(…)

Here lies Jane, a phoenix / Who died in giving another phoenix birth.

(…)

They move into a new house.

The moment Jane enters her new room, she knows it will take at least two months to get it completely clean. There are spiderwebs, and the white walls look more of a light grey. She makes mental notes to buy bleach, and other cleaning supplies.

At least her bed is clean, but she makes sure it doesn’t touch any wall for the sake of it not getting dirty.

(…)

Jane Seymour was a kind woman too, a better person than Anne.

(…)

“Are we coming to the bar tonight?” Anna asks.

Cleves is nothing less than an interesting character to say the least. They never got to meet in their past lives, but the woman knew her son. She even lived long enough to see him dead.

“I’m not sure,” Jane replies, “I don’t think that Boleyn is going to want me there.”

“But I would want you there.” The fourth queen says easily. “If it’s your decision, that’s alright, but I would like you to come.”

“I will keep that in mind.”

(…)

Her ladies-in-waiting and her maids were held to a strict code of behavior and insisted that they “serve God and be virtuous”.

(…)

The people, and society as a whole has changed.

Feminism is a common term, and women can –almost, to a certain point– hold the same power as men do.

Still, Jane feels more judged than ever. In her past life it was easy, if she did exactly what she was told, nobody would question her. She was bound to serve and obey, and planned to let everyone know about it. Unlike Anne, she was not going to take her chances. She couldn’t say that it brings her happiness, but it gave her peace of mind.

Nobody would contradict the orders of their king.

Nowadays it is different. People talk about freedom, about being able to own yourself, your body, your choices. Nonetheless, they talk about her. Judged her for saying good things about Henry in her speech, for loving him when it was her only choice.

It was her choice to keep her hair long, not like Anna’s. Her choice to wear make-up, to prefer dresses rather than pants. To talk about her son, to own her past. The public sometimes hated her for it, for her decisions, calling them a part of patriarchy leftover from the century in which she used to live.

They hate that she reduces herself to it, to being a mother, to fill what was expected of her, but that is still the only thing they know about her.

(…)

Jane herself was known for her quiet and soothing manner.

(…)

She sometimes sees it; the way Aragon and Boleyn are mothers.

Sometimes it is just a word, a name. Something totally irrelevant that snaps them into it, into caring in a way only mothers do. The way they treat Katherine, or how they look at a little kid on the street. How they talk to the younger fans of the show.

Jane feels like she doesn’t have it. She doesn’t care about babies and kids. Doesn’t have an attachment to them, to the idea of being a mother. If someone handed her a baby she would probably freeze and don’t know how to proceed.

Was it justice? Did she die so Edward wouldn’t have to put through with her as a mother?

Jane thinks she was just not born for that, to have a kid, to care for them. There were women who had maternal instincts, but she didn’t. Instead, when having to tend for Katherine, she grew overwhelmed, not having a clue of what to do next.

(…)

We will never know if Jane sought the king’s favor or was a frightened pawn of her family and the king’s desire.

(…)

“Would you like to go to brunch tomorrow?” Aragon asks one day.

It’s Saturday night, which means she is totally exhausted after a two show day, but still, she nods. Slowly, Aragon and Jane had started to rebuild the good relationship they once had. Both of them holding so much respect for the other.

“Have you seen Kat?” Parr interrupts Jane’s thoughts.

“She was here just a minute ago.” Aragon says, looking around.

“Well, Anne is looking for her and there’s no trace of where she could be.” The survivor explains quickly.

“Let’s look for her.” The first queen concludes, taking action.

They pass fans, excusing themselves, still taking a few pictures just for the sake of fulfilling the stagedoor the queens always did. Once they are out, a cold breeze hits their faces. Walking through the streets seems dangerous, but luckily enough Kat is near, curled up in herself. They signal to Anne and Anna to quickly come with them.

“Kitty, can you hear me?” Anne is fast to get on her knees, getting to be at the same height as Katherine.

“We should take her inside,” Jane states, “it’s not safe here.”

“Outside air can help, Jane.” Boleyn snaps at her. “Kat?”

She wishes she could be mad at her, but at the same time the second queen is just trying to do the best for her cousin. She acts almost instinctive, as if anyone would do that. The way she stays near her, but without invading personal space amazes Jane, even if that decision makes sense. She would’ve tried to pull the younger girl closer, thinking about it makes it seem like not such a good idea, the immediate response to fight or flight after a panic attack wouldn’t help.

“I’m okay.” Her voice is small. “Can we go home?”

Jane nods, and starts walking behind her towards the car. It comes as a surprise the fact that Katherine rides with them, instead of Anne and Anna as she usually does, but they don’t say a thing. She maintains her eyes on the girl, worried about her.

Once they arrive, Katherine is the first to get into the house, leaving the other two queens alone.

“I’m worried about her, should we try to have a talk?” Jane asks, Catherine denies with her head.

“No, we have to just make her trust us,” she says easily, “once she does, if needed she will come to us. Confrontation is mostly not the way to go with teenagers.”

“How do you know that?”

Aragon smiles.

(…)

She was the only one of his wives to be buried next to him.

(…)

If Jane said that she never wanted to be queen, it would be a lie.

The idea always sounded appealing. Who wouldn’t want to be one? Even in a modern context, girls still pretended to be queens, to live in the prettiest castles.  Being queen came with power, not nearly as much as men had, but still a fair amount. The chance to change things, to have opinions. Not counting how good it could be to the family, to secure a future.

Jane would be lying if she ever said that becoming a queen was not something she longed for. But she didn’t want Anne to suffer such a horrible death, no matter if it was or wasn’t fair.

(She used to think that another kind of death wouldn’t be as bad, to die for natural causes would just be God’s will, and to have a divorce would be the Man’s will.

Now she thinks every ending is horrible until proven different.)

In this life she kept quiet about it, knowing how she might have interfered in what Henry ultimately did to Anne. She preferred to not talk about her time as queen, how he threatened her with the same fate her predecessor suffered.

She once thinks about boarding the subject with Parr. She saw that the writer went through the same, a warrant order for her head that was never finished, and the painful death after a childbirth. Still, she doesn’t do so, knowing that her and the survivor are not the same.

Catherine Parr was smart, got her way because of her words. Jane Seymour was just the ignorant fool who kept quiet to please the man.

(…)

The ladies in waiting were expected to wear a belt of pearls with at least 120 pearls in them, and if they didn’t, they weren’t allowed to appear before her.

(…)

“Did you bring something for the cold?” Jane interrogates.

“Yeah, my pink sweater, I left it in the dressing room.” Katherine explains.

“Okay, I will look for it, finish taking your makeup off.” She orders.

The third queen stops staring at the queen, instead looking around. Finding the piece of clothing, she reaches out for it, but winces for a moment when the younger talks.

“Jane, just stop it, okay?” Katherine asks.

“It’s cold, put on a coat or something more, you will catch a cold.” She tried to give the teenager her pink sweater, but all she got was rejection.

“Just don’t. Stop acting as if I’m a child.”

It doesn’t come as a surprise, after all, Katherine usually snapped at her.

“You are nineteen.” Jane indicated, anger bubbling up in her voice.

“I am like almost five hundred years old.” There was bitterness in the statement. “Nobody cared about me being eighteen when the king beheaded me. They didn’t even care when I was younger, why now?”

“Because I care about you.” The words come out before she can really think about it.

Did she really? Cared for the younger?

Of course, she didn’t want harm to come to her, but then again also not to any of all the strangers she knew in this life. Nonetheless there is something about Katherine, an innocence, a broken past. Jane wanted to take care of the girl, to help her through whatever she was going through.

“You shouldn’t.”

It comes out almost aggressive, like a threat. The queen who died of natural causes doesn’t know how to feel about it.

(…)

She learned pretty quickly that it was best to stay out of religion and politics, and instead focused her energy on domestic issues.

(…)

Jane doesn’t break like Katherine, but she still does.

The way Katherine breaks suddenly, they can all point at that moment and say that is when she started changing. Harming herself in not obvious ways, drinking more caffeine than what she should, sleeping less, eating the unhealthiest food she can find. They notice, but their own egos and need to not gossip in order to not be the catty bitches fighting against each other like history has painted stop them from acting as a group.

Instead, the way Jane breaks is slowly, anger destroying her. Consuming every inch of her, growing and taking parts of her life.

It starts as a bitter, indignant feeling when she is left to cook or help cleaning up, but it quickly grows. Gets infuriating, maddening when people call her good . She is not, she might have been in another life, but not in this one. She was not innocent, but rather had a fair amount of guilt. It evolves to be hostile when she realizes that nothing will change it.

Jane Seymour, the mother figure who not only failed at being educated and staying alive, but also failed at having maternal instincts. The good queen, who did nothing but harm. The mother of the king, a king who died young and so did she.

She hates herself for it.

(…)

Her ladies-in-waiting and her maids were held to a strict code of behavior and insisted that they “serve God and be virtuous”.

(…)

She tries to self-isolate, to take a step away.

It doesn’t help, instead the anger comes back stronger each time, and she hates it. Jane hates how violent the feeling can be, how abrasive. She controls herself as she had always done, but it doesn’t make it any better, a resentment towards her fellow queens growing.

Seymour was not a jealous woman, not in her past life and not in this one. She didn’t want to be like the other queens knowing that there were so many things wrong in their lives. It was not about it.

It was about making a mistake, and how she never got to commit those. Jane couldn’t regret anything in her life without someone telling her that “she had it easy”, after all, she was the one he “truly loved”. Even when her problems were addressed, it always came before a way to minimize it, or worse, blame her for them.

The queens knew that it was none of their faults, but people still pinned them against each other, choosing favourites, giving each other a role. And she couldn’t say a word, because hers was good.

It didn’t matter what she truly wanted, or what her opinions about it were, because their mind was made up.

Why change something that is not broken? Why get mad over a good thing? What was better, being a bitch or a saint ?

Jane thinks that being the villain of the story would be easier, liberating. Heroes are just too unreal to exist, but pushing the narrative meant forgetting her own flaws, thoughts, problems.

But who cared?

All they ever wanted was a devoted woman.

(…)

Jane curbed her tongue and accepted her place as the dutiful wife.

(…)

"Can you stop being such a stuck-up child and act mature for a fucking moment?" The third queen asks, becoming irritable, "I just fucking asked you to do one thing. One fucking thing. You are not a toddler, stop throwing a fit!"

It turns out, living up to five hundred years of expectations become harder the angrier you get. The worse the feeling of burning grows, the worse it hurts inside. Jane refuses to let it slide, to let it show, but Anne is not making it any easier.

"Go off, Janey," the green queen laughs, "or chill out, it's not that deep."

"Except, it is." She demands. "I asked you to please do one thing, and it's not the first time. I ask you, you do it for a week, and then forget about it. Are you taking me for an idiot?"

"Honestly? No," she replies easily, "I just don't care enough."

They stay watching each other for a moment.

It brings back memories, but their roles are reversed. In another timeline Jane would be childish, not caring enough, or maybe caring so, so much, about the locket and chain around her neck. Anne would watch her with such a fury in her eyes, and the blonde would internally laugh.

She regrets it. Jane hadn’t seen it coming. The dreadful ending.

“But I know you do; I will try to change it.” Anne answers, her voice just above a whisper.

A soft: “Thank you” it’s all Jane can say.

“You’re welcome, darling .” A playful smirk passes through her lips.

“Bloody idiot.”

“I know.”

Boleyn gives her a sincere smile.

Maybe sometimes yelling is useful.

(…)

It is also true that she was not as sharp or witty as Anne Boleyn.

(…)

It doesn’t last long. Before she knows it, the show must keep going.

Jane smiles, sings her song, sings about Edward. Edward, her Edward. Her brother too, was named Edward. He died. Her brother too, was Thomas. Thomas who did so much wrong. Thomas who apparently loved Parr. Thomas who got sentenced to death.

Thomas and Edward. Thomas. Edward.

She doesn’t realize how much panic creeps in until she is alone in her room crying. An unexpected feeling of grief for the family she once had, as much grief as hate and resentment towards them. Horrible atrocious acts made just for the sake of it.

The Internet says that her son, her little baby, luckily died young.

They talk about luck, something good. And even as much as she wants to believe that her kid won’t ever be a threat, she knows his father. Henry was atrocious, ruthless. Growing under his influence was probably not the ideal childhood. If only she hadn’t died.

Her skin aches, and she has to ground herself controlling her breathing.

Was it possible that every man in her old life was terrible?

(…)

She never seemed to cause drama or do anything without her husband’s permission, and she managed to maintain her carefully crafted image of being virtuous, loyal and obedient.

(…)

“Jane, can we talk?” Aragon questions, knocking on the door.

The blonde nods, slowly looking up.

“What’s going on?” The divorcee asks, rather bluntly. “You stopped coming out of your room, and when you do, it’s just to fight. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m good. Great even.” She smiles.

“Do you think I’m a fool?”

Bloody hell.

Jane doesn’t want to hold this conversation, knowing that she has all the cards to lose it. But at the same time, she wishes to reach out, to explain what is going on. To say that she doesn’t know how to be angry, how to defy someone, how to speak up. All she knows is shouting, crying and hiding her real emotions.

She must conceal what she feels, to not let it show. The less she thinks, the less she feels, the less danger it represents. Jane can’t be the next one. If what happened to Aragon was an awful experience, where she couldn’t see her daughter or talk to her for the last years of her entire life, and Anne’s death was way worse, what is left for her? Torture worse than death.

“ Bonita, breathe with me.” Aragon commands, sitting a hand on Jane’s shoulder in an attempt to ground her. “Jane, breath in. Hold. Breath out.”

“Go away, Catherine, please . ” The queen begs.

“No. What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want you here, please .”

“I just want to help.” Catherine says, trying to get closer.

“Why don’t you try and help yourself first? I know I’m dumb, but even I can notice what you do, Catherine.” Her voice becomes steady. “Why are you so obsessed with fixing people? Is this because you couldn’t fix Mary from the monster she became?”

The venom in her words acts quickly, Catherine’s face changing in a few moments. First a pained expression, then developing hurt. She stands up from the bed, and Jane rage rises.

“Why can’t you just keep for yourself, Aragon?” She expels the name. “Is that because you don’t know us? Is this a trick? I know you loved him, is this your way to check us as competition? Or just because you want to see which one of us can take the blame for what happened with baby Mary?”

Catherine stays silent. Humble and loyal after all.

“I told you I wanted you gone.” Jane finishes.

“And I told you, you need help. You should seek it before it becomes too late.”

(…)

Jane’s son Edward was at best a useless boy-king, and at worst a divisive religious extremist who disinherited his sisters.

(…)

Maybe no other queen truly understands her.

Or maybe she doesn’t understand the others.

How Anne talks about her beheading makes it sound like a celebration, a great day everyone was looking forward. She talks about how people cheered, even if it sounds mostly like an old tale made by people who hated her. Jane doesn’t try to tell the truth. She hides it in her silence, just like she hid from Henry.

She should. She should make it better for Anne, but a part of her can’t do so. Can’t bring herself to tell the truth. To confront the other queen. She can’t break the need to be perfect, the need to be good, and innocent.

Talking to Boleyn would be an admission of guilt she is not ready to commit.

(…)

Jane Seymour fulfilled her most important duty as queen, but she was never crowned and died just twelve days after the long and arduous birth.

(…)

Catherine is distant, which shouldn’t surprise her.

Asking for help sounds like a trap. She can’t trust anyone. Even if she knows how much it would change things, even if she doesn’t feel like the queens would hate her or judge her, deep inside something tells her they will. And she can’t allow that.

She can’t break the idea of being perfect after fighting so much for it in the past.

(…)

The fact that she had died producing Henry’s only surviving male heir gave her a mythic near-martyr status in his eyes, and he would do creepy things like having her appear in a family portrait eight years after her death (and not even as a zombie or vampire, much to my dismay).

(…)

“Why are you here?” Her therapist asks.

Wasn’t being a reincarnated Tudor queen who died after giving birth to the next king of England enough reason to be?

“I think I’m having problems with being impulsive, and out of control, and managing my emotions.”

“Which emotions would this be?”

“I’m not sure.”

“It’s good that you are looking for help, Jane.” The woman says.

She takes the files and starts asking more questions, Jane finds herself being more honest than in a long time.

After the session she feels happier, lighter.

(…)

Let’s get down to business and look at just why Jane was in fact not a cute little wifey BUT a calculating master manipulator.

(…)

It doesn’t last long, and that is what hurts the most.

Feeling good for a moment just to then descend into the pain of unbelievable sadness that invades her. Not knowing how to handle it, making her go slowly mad.

It makes her think of her death.

Everything was good, happy, easy. But then it started going bad, failing. Her own body, organs shutting down, fever, agony. A pain in her chest that barely leaves her breathing. Death coming to her. And sometimes she feels it again.

Short, confused breath. A weight so heavy on her chest. Her thoughts all over the place. Death creeping on her. Her psychologist calls it a panic attack, stress coming to her. And she doesn’t know how to react to the idea that it’s just her brain. Drowning in thoughts, so deep that she can’t see the surface.

(…)

That’s two Queens brought back into the folds of power, a feat Jane achieved in just 6 months, thanks to her skill at manipulating Henry without him even realizing.

(…)

Anna doesn’t come to her, just the contrary. Jane tries to help.

Watching the queen crumbling down, makes her feel smaller. Just the contrary to her stage presence. This Anna is not partying, no joking. She is broken. Not a unidimensional character that they pull each night. Cleves has kept a mask for so long, that is just now breaking.

Jane can’t help but wonder if they all do. But it’s different. Jane had always been allowed to be sad, to cry, to be sensible and weak, while Anna never had that privilege. Each role assigned to them had their good and bad parts.

“We might not be great. I know I’m not. But we are here for you. We are all in this.”

“Do you really mean it?” The fourth queen asks.

She doesn’t doubt it. It’s just the way it worked, everyone had their places, what they tried to fulfil. It was harder on some of them. To keep or to destroy what they were. Create a new self being idyllic, impossible.

“Of course, I do.” Jane smiles.

(…)

Jane was not beautiful. She was not outspoken, or alluring, or exotic.

(…)

An article said he was sick for months. That he died slowly, painfully.

Her son had died when still young. And she never held his hand. She wonders if he was scared. If he thought what death might have felt like. Sometimes it keeps her up at night, her sick son who had to lay in a bed. Who she can’t help.

She wasn’t scared of death, as she never quite understood, fever coming to her, letting her slowly go. Making her confused, as she didn’t understand if she died until she came back.

What was better? To go without knowing or to stay knowing that the ultimate end is near?

Jane used to be catholic, used to devote herself to religion. But since she came back it all feels like a lie, an elaborated truth that kept her from making errors. Still, for his supposed last words, she hopes God had mercy on him.

(…)

Nobody wants an unfun queen.

(…)

“Jane, may I sit with you?”

The older nods, making space on the sofa. Katherine practically jumps to the spot but doesn’t relax until Jane opens her arms for the girl to get into the embrace. They stay like that for a few moments, just enjoying each other’s company.

They had managed to somehow have a good relationship. Maybe because Jane never feels as if Katherine judges. Maybe because Katherine never met her in life. Maybe because they know the least about their past. It somehow brings them closer.

“Is everything alright, sweetheart?” The third queen wonders.

She keeps in mind Aragon’s words, if Katherine feels safe enough, she will open up. Slowly the changes had been more noticeable, especially after starting therapy.

Maybe it’s the need to be a mother, maybe it’s just the way Katherine can charm anyone, with shy smiles and childish glee.

“I feel bad.” Katherine admits. “I… I have tried to ignore things and I just feel guilty about it.”

Jane nods, knowing what the feeling is about. Remorse is an even more common feeling in the queens’ household than it is probably in others.

Maybe they are both broken.

“What about?” She wonders.

Maybe it’s just meant to be.

“They beheaded the woman who helped me.” Katherine admits. “They beheaded her too.”

Maybe it’s because they both feel the blood on their hands.

“But it wasn’t your fault. You can’t make yourself responsible for others’ actions.” Jane confirms.

“I never cried. Since I came back, I never cried for her. I just pushed it to the back of my mind, acted as if it did not happen.” Her eyes water. “She died for me. And I am back, and she is not. I still don’t try to bring those memories back.”

“Some emotions need time.” The older one tries to explain. “Grief it’s not lineal, there’s denial, there’s guilt.”

“She didn’t deserve it.”

“You didn’t either. But you can honour her. We have a second chance, something impossible.”

“What are you using your second chance for?” Katherine wonders.

Jane doesn’t have an answer.

(…)

Jane Seymour: (shrug) enh.

(…)

Sometimes talking with fans is easier. They comment about the play with blissful glee, about the shiny costumes and loud music. Some go as far as making copies of her costume, to draw her, to write letters. They still don’t know her fully and they mostly don’t care to find out.

Jane can’t help but wonder if Edward ever felt love like that, blind, from someone who doesn’t know who you are. She can’t help but wonder what her son knew of her, because he never met her. She didn’t get to really meet him either, but she has Anna, who sometimes would drop a funny story of a young king, Katherine who remembers a little boy, and Catherine who talks about how smart he was.

She hopes that he had someone to tell him her story.

(…)

In her entire 18 months as queen, Jane Seymour failed to say one single thing that anybody thought was worth preserving for the future.

(…)

“Catherine, can we talk?” Jane asks.

The first queen nods sternly, sitting in front of her. Even though their relationship had been less tense since she started therapy a while ago, things were still not quite resolved within them.

“Yes, I’m sorry.” Catherine starts. “I shouldn’t have pushed, specifically not when I told you not to push Katherine.”

“No, it’s alright.” The blonde smiles. “Katherine shouldn’t be pressured, that’s true. But we are different. I didn’t understand what you were trying to do but now I do. And I’m sorry. I have been realizing things slowly and it’s just a matter of time until I will feel better again.”

“Penny for your thoughts?” The first queen asks.

“It’s the idea of being perfect. To fill in my own shoes. To comply, and obey and serve. You knew me before, and you know me now, but I just feel so much responsibility to be who people think I am. I talk about how I stayed, firm by his side, but in reality, I didn’t. I was scared. I am scared. And it’s such a weird feeling, because it drives me to do the exact opposite thing of what I try to do. My death was just something that happened, but I can’t help and think that I was lucky to have died. Who knows what could’ve been of me otherwise?”

“You don’t have to be perfect.”

“But I do.” Jane replies. “It’s just my place, and I’m a character. I just have to learn where and when I should be myself.”

“Are you sure? No one is expecting anything.”

“They are. And it’s okay. They want it, the love story, the tragic ending. I wish it was like that, but it was not. But I’m going to be fine, because I’m pretty tough. And it doesn’t come from screaming, being the loudest or the most anything. It comes from me, and I don’t have to prove it to anyone else.”

(…)

Or, god forbid, are you a fan of the insufferable Jane Fucking Seymour?

(…)

“I might miss some foods from the past, but I love this.” Anne said happily, devouring some chocolate lentils.

“Stop it! I want some too.” Her almost namesake replied, trying to take some.

“Anna, don’t worry about chocolate and help me pick a movie.” Parr insists. “I saw that this one was good, this account said that they used a new kind of animation to do it. Created a new program and all.”

Jane smiles, laughing lightly at Catherine who can’t keep facts for herself. Each time it becomes better, less superior talking and more nerdy, passionate about useless knowledge.

“Whatever you choose, please let it be short, I’m so tired tonight.” Aragon asks.

“That one is ninety minutes long.” Katherine offers.

The third queen sits, gossiping about the plot

(…)

So, don’t overlook Jane. Sure she’s quiet, but remember it’s the quiet ones you have to watch.

(…)

Second chances were overrated, that much could be said for Jane Seymour.

Sometimes, people don’t change, themselves or their minds. In her two lives, she dealt with it all. With trying and not, with fighting and keeping quiet, with being looked up to and with being irrationally disliked. Society, as a whole, would never be pleased. Setting standards too high, as much as those vary from time to time, from one century to the other, there was always going to be something wrong.

But it didn’t mean she had to just follow it.

Second chances were overrated, wasting hers into demonstrating things to anyone except herself. The general opinion might not change, but Jane does. She learns, grows. She cries, gets sick and has horrible days, she fights, speaks out, she loves, she smiles. It’s hard, to live a life she shouldn’t have, but it means that is her opportunity, not to be revolutionary, not to be a queen nor a mother.

Jane learns to be herself, to explore, to know her limits. And it never ends.

Second chances were overrated, but it doesn’t mean that Jane was going to try and make the best out of hers.  Maybe it is boring, or naïve to not try to take an impossible opportunity, but she doesn’t need it. To be true to herself is more than just enough.

#six the musical #six the musical fanfiction #six fanfiction #six fanfic #jane seymour

[captainillogical]

Devil’s Ballroom ch.3

A year after the events from the earth’s final attack, Little Homeworld is finally complete, and there’s a new jazz bar where gems and humans mingle and drink. - As you’re typing back a reply, someone pulls the stool out next to you and takes a seat. You see a sliver of pink out of the corner of your eye as you try not to actually Look. Oh god. It’s her. God can’t help us now.

Spinel/Reader

collab with my lovely wife @firstofficertightpants

    She sets her mostly empty drink down on the counter, and turns to look at you when Bismuth walks over again, stealing her gaze right back.

“That was nice, Spinel. I think that was my favorite song of yours yet.” She says to her. “You want another round?”

“Aw jeez, thanks I guess, Bis.” Spinel says sheepishly. “And yeah, I think I’ll need it tonight.”

    You pretend that nothing weird has ever happened to you at all in your life, and down the rest of your drink. You want like, 5 more of these and then you'll be able to deal with this.

Y/N: Yeah. I remember the night. She's also sitting right next to me. Uh.

Alex: for real

Y/N: I might be internally having a panic attack.

    Bismuth pours Spinel her drink, and she sighs. "It's just, today was kind of rough. Blue called and wanted to apologize for things that she doesn't need to be apologizing about, and I kind of wish they'd calm down a little and let me exist in peace."

    Bismuth nods. "Steven has talked a lot about them. They seem really difficult to be around, if I'm going to be honest. They don't quite get.. real people problems."

"You have no idea." She replies, and takes a long drink. “They don’t even understand privacy. I couldn’t do anything without them basically following me everywhere. It was stifling.”

“Seriously, I’m not sure what I expected from the Diamonds, but if you told me that 5000 years ago, I wouldn’t have believed you at all.” Bismuth says, “I’m just glad you have some much needed breathing room.”

“It was long overdue. Several months in their presence was more than enough.”

    Bismuth gives Spinel a tired smile, and turns to you.

“How are you holdin up there, Y/N?” She hands you another drink. “You’ve only been here 25 minutes or so, and you’re on your 3rd already. That kinda night?”

“Err, just in the mood I guess.” You reply and laugh. You weren’t trying to eavesdrop. Bismuth turns away to a couple of other patrons and busies herself making a few mixed drinks for them.

        Alex: dude kick her for almost killing ur dad

    Y/N: What, and get myself killed? Fuck no.

    Alex: ur a pussy

    Harper: did she say anything about you taking a pic?

    Y/N: No! Please don’t curse me.

“You know, if you wanted a pic so bad of myself, you could’ve asked.”  Spinel says, turning to face you directly. You stare at your phone and can feel your face heating up for being called out. You can feel your mouth working way faster than your brain can even comprehend.

“My friends are shitheads and didn’t believe me when I said I saw someone cute on stage.” You say, and immediately shut your mouth. If you could sink into the floor right now and disappear forever, that would be great. God doesn’t grant you this though, and you curse him for it. “I mean.. I’m sorry. That was rude of me to do without your permission.” She grins. 

“Ya know, I didn’t actually see who did it, I just saw the general direction of the flash and walked towards it, and happened to find an empty seat next to someone looking fairly nervous.” She laughs. “Way to out yourself there.”

    You look at her. Fucking goddammit. “I seem to be doing a lot of that today. Ughhhhh.” You drag your hand down your face in dramatic fashion, and take a drink. You’re starting to feel the alcohol slowly take a small bit of effect. “Song was nice by the way.”

“Oh, thanks.” She looks a bit surprised, like she’s not used to compliments. Hm. 

“I’m not so musically talented myself, but uh. I can make some mean enchiladas. AND I can make a calculator spell the word “boobs”.” You say, like it’s somehow impressive.

“What’s an enchilada?” Spinel looks at you suspiciously. Oh right. Gem. 

“It’s.. food. Hold on.” You say and pull up an internet browser to google the definition of enchiladas so you can show her a pic. You see the group chat go off a couple times and keep swiping away your friend’s rapid texts, knowing that they’re asking you too many questions right now and you’re determined to show this alien one of your favorite foods. Tonight sure is a weird night. You find a good pic of enchiladas, and turn your phone towards her. “See? Tortilla, cheese, meat. Great stuff. You can even change some of the ingredients and make them a couple different ways. All pretty good if I do say so myself.” You say as she looks at it, and you can see your phone chime with another message notification. You pull your phone away quickly before she has any chance to see whatever the fuck your friends are talking about.

“Humans are strange.” She replies, a pondering look on her face. She takes another drink and sets the glass down gently, keeping her hand lightly on the glass. You notice her fingernails are short and clean. You wonder if they grow like human nails? You wonder how similar gems are to humans in general. “You guys have to eat to survive? And you all grow so much all the time, and you’re constantly changing. You can’t even grow limbs back, or shapeshift. What’s the point?”

“The point?” You laugh. “I mean, science IS advancing and we can grow organs from plants, in a lab. Can’t grow limbs back.. yet. I can’t exactly change being human. Besides, you gems as a race don’t exactly look like you have any fun at all. Being human is all about having new experiences.” You say.

“Well, maybe I’m having fun now.” She says, tapping the rim of her glass. You kind of look at her for a second. She seems to be tapping her left foot on the side of the stool, maybe kind of nervously? Her hair is up in a ponytail, and she's pushing some of the fringe behind her ear. She’s cute, you think to yourself. 

“Oh?” You say as you smile slyly into your drink. You think you see her blush a bit.

“It’s been a while since I’ve been here. Last time wasn’t so nice. Some guy tried punching me, he was drunk and recognized me from the earth attack last year. Bismuth had to kick him out.” She says stiffly, and takes a drink. “I’m sorry about that, by the way.”

“My dad almost died.” You say. She winces.

“I am really sorry. I do regret how I dealt with my entire situation.. I’ve had a lot of time to think about it." She sighs. "I’m just glad no one actually died. And thanks for not cursing me out, for all of this."

"He's hard to kill, anyway." 

"What?" She says, staring at you incredulously. 

"My dad. He's done so many stupid, dangerous things that I remember from my childhood. He must have some kind of divine blessing, because even when he fought that gator off grandpa's porch, he came out without a scratch. And that was one really pissed off gator." You say. Spinel laughs heartily. She's actually really cute when she laughs, and you can't help staring for a second. “There was also that one time this guy attempted to rob us at a gas station, and he took the bastard down with the unopened energy drink from his cup holder. You wanna know what he had to complain about afterwards? That he had to now go buy another energy drink. That’s my fucking dad, I guess.”

“Your life sounds interesting.” She says in reply.  “I can tell that you love him though.”

“Yeah. He’s kind of my entire life. He’s all I have left of my family.” You say, smiling. “He’s a good dad. He tries his best.” You hear your phone chime a couple more times, and roll your eyes. They’re so fucking needy. “My friends are extremely obnoxious, and must know what I’m doing at all times. You have anyone like that in your life? Because I could pawn off Alex on you if you want.” You grab your phone and open up your group chat to see what they’re talking about. There’s quite a few missed messages.

    Harper: she hasn’t said shit in a while and i’m kinda worried.

    Harper: what if she got kidnapped. D:

    Alex: shes probs in the middle of a bar fight tbh

    Alex: im pretty sure that alien started it or something

    Alex: she was probs all like “im gonna kill ur planet now and finish u all off!!”

    Alex: and Y/N was like “not on my watch BITCH” and decks her

    Alex: the whole bar claps

    Harper: shut up it’s been like 10 mins and she hasn’t said anything and i’m nervous.

“I have a few people who I’d call friends here. Bismuth, Lapis, Amethyst.. Steven. I kind of feel like I’m bothering them when I’m around, in general..” She says, swirling the drink around in her glass. She regards it, lifts to her lips, and takes a drink. “Steven sometimes asks how I’m doing.. I know he cares. I have a hard time letting myself be honest with him. Cause.. you know. He’d try to solve all my problems. And I try to deal with them on my own.”

Y/N: I'm not dead. We're talking. She's nice.

Alex: wow are all genocidal maniacs nice i wonder

Harper: TALKING. YOU'RE TALKING TO HER

Y/N: YES WE'RE TALKING.

Y/N: She even apologized about my dad, and the entire shebang, really. 

Y/N: She's nice conversation, anyway.

Harper: whoa she apologised?

Alex: youve got to be kidding me rn

Alex: lemme just go revive gengis khan so we can have a nice chat over tea

Alex: this is absolutely nuts why am i the only sane one here

Alex: im gonna go fucking feral 

"It's such a Steven thing to do, too. You should've seen how he was when he found out about my mother." You laugh, and set your phone down on the counter. "He literally tried to go out and find her. He's such a sweet kid, but I had to break it to him that even if I knew where she was, I didn't want to see her."

    Off to your left side, you feel someone approach you at the bar. You turn your face to see who it is. It's a man who looks a decade older than you are, and you've never seen him before. He nods to regard you. 

"Can I get you a drink, beautiful? You look absolutely lovely." He says, leaning in slightly.

"Thank you, but I'm alright." You put in your best polite, but fuck off smile. 

"You're just going to say no without even considering it?" He smiles, and you hate it. He's giving you terrible vibes and it's making you uneasy.

"I said I'm good." 

"Yeah bu-" He starts, but Spinel cuts him off.

"She says she's good, pal. Leave the dame alone." She crossed her arms over her chest, and glares at him. 

"Damn fine, stuck up bitch. Didn't want to talk to you anyway." He spews, and leaves to the other side of the bar. Thank god, you think to yourself.

"Thank you for that." You say to her, seriously relieved. "Fucker needs to learn how to take no for an answer." 

“Yeah, well. No one harasses a girl on my watch.” She regards you carefully. “Do you mind if I ask you something?”

“No?” You lift an eyebrow in response.

“What happened with your mother?” She says, grabbing for her drink and taking a sip.

“Oh. Um,” You’re a bit surprised that she seems to genuinely care. You’ve known her for all of like.. a half hour. “She left when I was 5. Just had enough of dad and I, I suppose. Dad says it just came out of nowhere, and he has no idea what happened. We were a happy family, and then one day after dinner, she went into their room, packed some things in a single bag, and left.” You pause to take kind of a long drink. “And no one knows where she went. It’s been 17 years. Not a single word. It actually really fucked me up for years. I felt abandoned and absolutely worthless. How could you raise a child for 5 years, and just fucking bounce? Like, did she read a manual on how to fuck up your kid and give them emotional problems for the rest of their life? God, what a fucking bitch. I can’t even IMAGINE doing that to a kid.”

    Spinel is staring at you with wide, shocked eyes.

“Eventually I ended up gaining some friends that helped me get over it, for the most part. They’re stupid and I love them. And if they ever found my mother, they would murder her in a heartbeat.” You say, chuckling. Spinel is still staring at you. “Are you okay? You ask. 

“I’m fine, it’s just.. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone like me.” You watch her fiddle with her fingers. She moves slightly, and you see her shirt open, heart gem glimmering in the low lighting. You don’t want to be caught staring at it, like a crow to a shiny object. (You want to touch it. You want to touch it bad. Is it warm? Is it cold? Is it smooth? You need to know.) “I also had a very important person abandon me. The MOST important person to me, actually. For uh.. 6000 years.” You look up and your eyes make contact with hers.

“What.” You say. “6000 years.”

“Yeah.. It’s kind of embarrassing now, though.” She shrugs. “But it was terrible, and now I’m here. I’ll never get closure the way I want from Pink Diamond, because she’s gone forever. Anyway,” You kind of want to hug her. “I’ve been surviving, and I think I’m doing okay.” She smiles slightly. Bismuth is suddenly in front of the two of you.

“I saw some commotion all the way from the other side. That guy bother you? Want me to deal with him?” She says, all while refilling Spinel’s drink without even asking.

“Nah, he fucked right out of here when Spinel told him off.” You say, and finish the rest of your cider. Blegh. Warm.

“Is that so?” Bismuth say, grinning. She’s pointedly looking at Spinel. Spinel is giving Bismuth a dirty look. Oh my, what is going on there? You feel your bladder cursing up a storm inside you.

“Bismuth, I’d like another beer please.” You slowly get up on sleepy, wobbly legs. “And I’ll be right back, gotta pee.” You turn and look at Spinel, who looks back. “Guard my purse.”

“Cannnn do.” She says while taking another drink.

    You make your way slowly over to the bathroom that was actually just 15ft away from you, and go over to one of the stalls and plop down onto the toilet, pulling out your phone to look at group chat. 

    Harper: so my brother got catfished again

    Alex: LMFAO

    Harper: how many times is this? 4? for fucks sake

    Harper: he’s 29. you’d think he’d have his shit together by now, but noooo.

    Alex: that is honestly the saddest thing ive heard

    Alex: wins most pathetic man of the month

    Y/N: oof.

    Y/N: Yeah that’s just sad.

    Alex: Y/NNNNNNNNNNNNN!!

    Alex: how are yoooouuuu

    Y/N: I’m fine. I’m having a nice time.

    Harper: you still hangin with the not-evil-now alien? :p

    You choose to reply later, and instead finish your business in the stall. You come out and wash your hands, making sure you wash them thoroughly. You never know what kind of germs are in bar bathrooms. You’re drying your hands when you hear the bathroom door open, and someone is walking in. You turn to look, and it’s a familiar figure. A man. 

The man from earlier.

#spinel #spinel x reader #spinel su #steven universe #spinel self insert #fic #my fic #devils ballroom

[yievie]

whew! what’s up everyone! my name is crissy and yes, i am the clown who sent my account ask on anonymous last night. luv that for me! I GOT A COOL FAMILY ICON IM CRYING!!! now this is yi eun hye, better known as evelyn yi or evie, paging dr. sexy md don’t call her that though, she’ll kill you omg the second eldest princess of the four neglected korean princess sisters aka the mom friend sister or the buzzkill responsible sister. 

~`click anywhere here for a link to my app ~

under the cut i’m gonna throw some important personality and background stuff along with maybe? half-formed plot ideas? if not i’ll make a follow up post later, but pls like this plot if you wish to plot, i’ll try to come bother u. my ims are open hmu anytime (also bc im anxious af to b first message bc im BABY) and I ALSO have a discord located at quarantine queen#2918 where i’m usually v v v active. (lmk if u cant add me shoot me a message on here and ill fix it) ok imma shut up here is cranky daughter! ITS LONG SRRY

( pS: also if my blog is too hard to read just stick /mobile on the end of the url xx )

background 

the empress and emperor of korea had 5 kids, 4 daughters, 1 pampered son and evie was the second oldest daughter after dianna but like, she’s bossy and high strung and acts like the oldest anywayS so it doesn’t matter!

woo! however, korean tradition is rooted deeply in patriarchy and other backwards thinking,  >:(((( so evie’s parents basically pretended like their son was the only kid they had and sent evie and her 3 sisters off to swedish boarding school to ROT as they each turned 10 and forgot abt them while they groomed their son for the throne! thx mom n dad! luv u too! sdjlaksjd

during her time at boarding school evie was expected to not learn much of anything, not do anything spectacular, she wasn’t expected very good grades or to be smart or successful or anything bc that was Men’s Work and so evie did . . . THE EXACT OPPOSITE.

evie EXCELLED in school, straight a’s, top of her class, honors, ap valedictorian, which meant all nighters, nose bleeds at 2am from studying too hard, looking dead walking through the hallways, eating ramen 25/8, falling asleep w her face in her textbooks, getting bullied a lot for being a nerd and Not looking like her sisters and like...the creature from the black lagoon.

her parents, understandably, were not very happy with this but it wasn’t until she wanted to go to medical school that her parents were like FURIOUS. to them, women, esp the princesses, were only supposed to get married, have kids, THAT WAS IT. so evie wanting to be a doctor enraged them. STAY MAD!

they tried to have her engaged SO. MANY. TIMES. but she has a really repellent personality, she’s very kat stratford from 10 things i hate about you. and is rude and states her very liberal very socialist opinions often, dresses sloppy and hurts mens feelings a lot just for fun so they all went rUNNING from those match appointments! her parents literally are losing their minds they don’t know what to do w her theyre like god why did we give birth to the aNTICHRIST!?!?!?

not wanting anything to do with her parents, evie got into college and medical student on scholarship based on her own merit and skill. evie went to the seoul national university for 4 years then did a 2 year residency at the country’s top hospital, becoming one of the best on call heart surgeons there.

the korean media likes to clown on her A LOT! bc shes scary and angry and cares very little abt her appreance is A DOCTOR and not a princess really for the opposite reason they clown on dianna but evie does not really care she doesn’t care abt impressing people, just saving lives and proving people wrong. finger guns

but yes! thats what u missed on glee. evie was a heart surgeon in korea before being shipped off to thailand! shes v salty by the way ... even more than usual.

fun facts?

evie wears massive grandma glasses to see bc shes BLIND when shes in line with her sister people do not think she’s related and are like “OMG OMG THE PRINCESSES!!! BUY WHATEVER U WANT ON THE HOUSE I--oh? maam? uh? can we help u, ahjumma?” HELP

very dry, mean, will call you out on ur shit and hurt ur feelings probably. doesn’t really know how to Chill or have fun, stays out of drama and parties for the most part literally that old man that tells u to get off their lawn

LOVES HER SISTERS!!!! LOVES THEM!!! moms them and nags the FUCK out of them tho abt everything. wear a sweater its cold, drink water, dONT DO THAT GET DOWN FROM THERE, i told u to eat before u drank all that soju pabo!!!! skhaslkfh BUT SHE LOVES THEM VERY MUCH HER WOOOORLD the only people shes kind of nice to

as stated, has tried to been matched up before but has basically scared away all her matches by being A Lot and not polite or dainty and burping probably

her mom calls her all the time to talk abt how shes having a heart attack bc her second daughter is an unmarried, childless, spinster with a cat who is embarrassing her by being a doctor and being loud and obnoxious and outspoken against the royal heirarchy and right wing politics. evie just puts her on mute and lets her keeping yelling at no one for the next hour

loves beer, loves fried chicken, very unladylike, wears oversized sweaters and her hair messy and watches love island australia and the bachelor just to make fun of the people being in love and stupid i think secretly she kind of wants it but...thinks shes unlovable and will die before she says that shh

bisexual legend! cue mr and mrs yi screaming somewhere

not that it matters bc she cares little abt romance and sex and always put work and school before everything so everything touchy like that she either ends abruptly or stays the hell away from

never parties or goes out but when she does get really drunk gets very cute and touchy and happy there is one video on the internet of her like on a table ashdkh yikes 

is soft deep down just like *shrek voice* donkey, orges are like onions they have layers and u gotta get past a lot of them for her to get past her level 4 tragic backstory and into the soft, vulnerable part of her personality its nice i promise she is SQUISHY

weird plots???

best friend? im sure she has one somewhere. or friends at all? people who arent scared of her who shes nice to....mostly

enemies woo! hate her its very easy to hate her so do it

u want to do a daredevil thing like when matt shows up bleeding and dying or after a fight or something and she patches u up

just anyone need a doctor bc paging dr sexy md~

past loves? boyfriend? girlfriend? weird flings? weird tension unresolved stuff WOOO

ANYONE who broke her heart for the angst and drama

hit on her itll b funny

anyone who she was previously matched w who she scared off

someone shes currently trying to be matched or betrothed to GOOD LUCK

someone she has a crush on YIKES or vice versa

any of the college kids need a tutor? 

roommates? 

ANYTHING PLS HMU <333

#;;ooc ( out of crissy ). #hello this is angry daughter shes scary but we stan #sorry this was so long pls hmu #ALSO LOOK AT MY COOL ICON!!

[eldritchsurveys]

808.

this is a survey I made in fucking 2013 lmao. god

i. it seems that the average survey-taker is a white american female, aged 15-19, who has a car, a cell phone, and an extensive social circle. is this true for you? >> This is hilarious because I was complaining about this recently. Some things never change, I guess... Anyway, obviously it is not true for me except for the American part (not that it does me any favours). I do have a phone, though. (I didn’t back when I made this survey; couldn’t afford one.)

ii. xanga, unlike a lot of sites, rarely changes its layout. do you like this, or do you think there should be more updates? what do you think they should add (or remove)? >> Well, this question didn’t age well.

iii. have you seen any silent films? >> I haven’t. I’m not sure I’d be able to enjoy a silent film, to be honest. I’ve seen bits of silent films in modern cinema (there was a bit of one in the Watchmen show’s pilot, for example, which is what I’m thinking of right now) and the whole concept just looks obnoxious to follow along with.

iv. would you rather be an actor, director, or soundtrack producer? >> I wouldn’t want to be in show business at all, but I guess if I really had to choose a place to be, I think being involved with the music would be cool.

v. what is your favourite hue of your favourite colour? >> Gold is my favourite colour, which is already a hue, as far as I can gather.

vi. have you seen nbc's 'hannibal'? thoughts? (if you haven't, do you want to?) >> Heh. I’m still pretty obsessed with Hannibal, but it was a lot more fun when it was current and this website was inundated with good content. And memes, can’t forget the hannilols.

vii. on websites where you're permitted to change your username, do you do so often, or do you keep the same one for long periods of time? >> I used to have chronic shapeshifter syndrome on the internet, but I’ve mostly settled down into a few “canon” usernames/handles. It just becomes a lot of work after a while, and I guess it just... stopped feeling so important, to switch things up all the time. Don’t get me wrong, I still have a pretty malleable and mercurial identity, that’s just my nature -- but expressing every facet of that mercuriality on the internet has become less important. (Let’s see if that changes again in the next few years ;) as it goes)

viii. does your computer have a name? what is it? if not, what is your desktop wallpaper? >> Heh, this is definitely a “me” question. The computer I’m on right now is named Dorian Gray, and my gaming rig is named Azathoth.

ix. do you consider yourself an activist, or a supporter of any social-justice causes? why or why not? >> Nope. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just not compassionate enough. Maybe I’ve got some dead brain matter. I don’t know why I don’t have the same passion for activism that a lot of my peers seem to have. I mean, it’s certainly not because I’m particularly privileged (I’m really not) and it’s not because I don’t think my peers have the right of things. I just... don’t have enough emotional investment, I guess. I don’t know, man. But I also don’t have that kind of energy. Protests (most of which end up turning into bad-cop shitshows, apparently) and shit like that aren’t really the best place for my post-traumatic ass, you dig? Anyway, I think about this a lot (especially lately) but I have no clear-cut answers as to why I am not activism-oriented, when I clearly should be.

x. if you are non-religious, do you feel pressured to be religious or do you find that people often try to 'convert' you? if you are religious, how does it make you feel when others speak contemptuously of religious people? >> I don’t feel pressured to be religious, no. Who would even pressure me? Most of the people I know are full-on atheists, or pagans who just do their own weird thing and mind their business. Mostly.

xi. if you are religious, what is your religion and how do you observe it? if you are non-religious, do you find religion an interesting thing to study, anyway? >> I am intensely interested in religion. I find it one of the most interesting things to study, from so many different angles. I just don’t have one of my own.

xii. would you want a personal robot (think 'bicentennial man' or 'a.i.')? what would you name it? what purpose would it serve? >> Heh. Well, I don’t know. I mean, I feel like it would be cool to have an android companion, but it wouldn’t be happening in a vacuum. If, say, America figured out AI and started making AI companions for people, you can pretty much imagine how that would go. Capitalist hellscape plus a terrible culture of human superiority (well, white man superiority, to be specific, but) and a productivity-based mentality? Can we just not create and subject a new kind of lifeform to that, please.

xiii. are you eager to see how far science + technology will advance, or do you prefer an older way of doing things? do you think we are better off with these advancements, or not? >> I used to be really into technological advancement and The Singularity and all of that, which is why this question exists. And I still personally think all that shit is cool as hell. But like I said, none of it happens in a vacuum, and as long as we continue not to improve as organic, social, sapient lifeforms... it really doesn’t matter if cars can drive themselves or whatever. It’s all just part of the hellscape. I love my computers, I love the internet, I love the weird new gadgets I see on Gizmodo and I love space programs. God knows I do. I just... can’t unsee the other stuff.

xiv. what is your favourite comic book or graphic novel? does your favourite novel come in comic-book form? (if not, would you like it to?) >> My favourite comic book (well, comic book series) is probably... Promethea. Or Sandman. Preacher is definitely up there too. I don’t have a favourite novel, but I think Lovecraftian comics are great (Alan Moore did a few that I loved), and the Dark Tower comics were works of art. I wish someone would make Ayn Rand books into comics, I think that’d be funky.

xv. have you ever thought of a question that you'd like to see on a survey, but you couldn't think of enough other questions to put it in a survey yourself? do you remember what the question was? (if you can, feel free to answer it here.) >> I have a post in my drafts that’s just for throwing in questions that I think up, in the hopes that one day I’ll have thrown enough random questions in there to make a whole survey out of. We’ll see, lmao.

#surveys #survey #random survey

[beneaththetangles]

BtT Light Novel Club Chapter 21: Infinite Dendrogram, Vol. 4

Welcome back to the Light Novel Club!

Before we begin, I would like to mention the official Beneath the Tangles Discord. We have a Light Novel Club channel there, where you can discuss light novels to your heart’s content! And for future Light Novel Club discussions, we might even ask some of our questions in that channel, where your answers may get featured in our discussion posts! So if you enjoy light novels, I definitely encourage you to join our Discord and participate in the Light Novel Club channel!

With that said, let’s jump into our discussion of vol. 4 of the VRMMO light novel Infinite Dendrogram! We’ve already covered three volumes of this series, but things are heating up with the beginning of Franklin’s Game, so Jeskai Angel, Gaheret, and I are here to get a piece of the action.

-----

1. What are your overall impressions of this volume?

Gaheret: Overall, I still feel the author should be able to tell what he wants us to know in a way that feels more organic to the story, and I think that he tells too much. What I find to be the best parts (worldlers vs. ludos, the perspective of tians, religions and cults, the psychology of the players, consequences of the interactions of the two worlds, BNHA-like fights of different powers with different logics, mysteries) took a step back in this volume for the most part while videogame fights which, this being a super-realistic videogame, were kind of disturbing images (I´m thinking of Marie shooting an old man point blank, of the leader of the traitors unadvertely slicing his captive priestess friend, or of Rook cutting Marie´s arm off, or the casual comment that Yuri/Hugo should’ve crushed Rook’s head at the first chance). As a fight among experienced gamers who were clearly playing, I found Marie v. Veldorbell to be the most entertaining.

stardf29: So this volume was definitely an action-packed one, more focused on the fights than on other sorts of development. It’s fun for what it is, and it’s interesting to see how these various characters outside of Ray, whom we’ve gotten to know all this time, actually fight in battle. At the same time, it definitely feels like this is just the middle chapter of the story arc that started in the last volume, so while I might have felt that some sort of extra development might be nice, I think there’s room for that in the next volume.

Jeskai Angel: I enjoyed this volume, though it wasn’t quite as good as I remembered. A big part of that is difference between reading one vol. more or less on its own, versus reading a bunch of vols. together. I fell in love after reading Dendro vol. 1 and proceeded to devour all the other volumes released up to that point (six or seven, IIRC) in the space of a few weeks. That made the story a far more cohesive experience, and allowed me to go through the entire Franklin’s Game arc in a short time, rather than leaving the finale until whenever the LNC might come back and read vol. 5.

I appreciate the author’s / translator’s efforts to give different voices to each narrator. Ray doesn’t sound the same as Marie, who doesn’t sound the same as Hugo, who doesn’t sound the same as Rook, who doesn’t sound the same as Franklin…

This vol. was also more violent than I remembered, which raises one of the interesting aspects of the story. What one thinks of this book depends heavily on one’s response to the question at the heart of Infinite Dendrogram: just how “real” is it? Or, to use Franklin’s word, how “earnest” about it are we? Characters within the story already face this question, but I think vol. 4 challenges readers to a greater degree than the earlier books. Thus far, Ray’s enemies have mostly been monsters or tians, but now he faces other Masters. This casts the violence in a different light. It might be one thing to dismember one’s enemies in PvE…but does it mean something different to do so during PvP? Moreso than previous vols., this one confronts readers with how horrific such a realistic “game” might actually be. Is this a game in which people do things we may find distasteful but which aren’t all that meaningful? Or is it something more? And if it is, what does that mean about the characters’ actions? Or even our consumption of the story as readers?

Even without full-dive VR, we still have books, video games, & anime. Dendro invites us to ponder how we experience such things. Does it really matter how we feel about a novel’s story, or whether we steal from that shopkeeper in a game? (For the record, it does matter because everyone will call you THIEF the rest of the game and the shopkeeper is a Sith lord who will kill you with blasts of lightning.) When using our imaginations, how much is just acting or role-playing, and how much are we ourselves truly involved? Based on the Bible, there are clearly sins of the imagination (e.g., lust). I wonder if there could be, for lack of a better term, virtues or good works of the imagination.

stardf29: The “how realistic is the violence” question is interesting because at the start of the game, you’re able to choose whether to view the world as “realistic”, “CG”, or “anime-style” (with the ability to change it later with an item). Ray chooses to go with “realistic”, but it does make me wonder if those who chose CG or anime might feel less bothered by the violence.

Also, the whole idea of fighting Masters makes things interesting because of the knowledge that “killing” Masters only logs them out for a time, and that by default there are no pain settings, which might make some people less reserved about violence. I think this leads to the following moral question: is our moral revulsion to violence based on the actual act of violence itself, or on the consequences thereof? (And this can be applied to other similar moral dilemmas when experiencing fiction.)

2. What do you think of Professor Franklin?

Gaheret: Professor Franklin, apart from the Benjamin Franklin reference, seems like an “Island of Doctor Death” archetype, with an special ability called “Playing God”, “my boy” gentlemanly talk and evil laugh included. He is the main villain of this volume, and while I like to have a more intelectual villain, focused on strategy and manipulation of the rules (and I like Dr. Death-esque types), it seemed to me that in this case the interpretation was too over-the-top. The writer wandered between the awe and horror of unexplained creations and the “this is how he does it” kind of explanation, and wasn´t satisfying in those fields. Dr. Franklin seemed to me more like someone hacking the game than a player.

As a player, things were more interesting. I liked the “gamer with a grudge” archetype, as it is a very recognizable problem. I would have supported a full hacker twist (the rules of Infinite Deondogram basically allowing themselves to be cheated, not so much). As he does not think of the tians as people, it surprised me a lot that he was willing to talk with Elizabeth like he did (on the other hand, you simply cannot be a mad genius without explaining your plan beforehand to a captive, it is one of the conventions of fiction). I did like that he was aiding Hugo, and that his plan was in fact a clever alternative to a more costly and bloody invasion by the General of his Empire.

The reason behind the grudge against Ray wasn´t very convincing, but maybe Franklin was childish enough for that sort of thing. I like how this was introduced in an unrelated context, as part of the background, then happens to be important. I think it would have been better if we didn´t know the special instructions he gave concerning Ray, so that he being the only who can pass may have seemed like a coincidence at first, and then Franklin would have revealed that he had chosen him to embody the kingdom´s defeat.

So: I like this sort of villain, both in the gamer and in the mad scientific archetypes, yet I’m not full on board with how he was played out. Too much explanation of the hows, and the dialogue could have been much more vivid and funny.

stardf29: A few things about Franklin. First of all, his personality is absolutely the worst. He’s the type of person who absolutely cannot handle losing, and must go out of his way to one-up anyone that gets the better of him, even if it is a “newbie” like Ray. He’s very immature in that way, which just makes it even scarier that he actually has the capabilities to act on his whims, torturing those who go up against him with personalized monsters. And on top of that, he wants to send an entire country into despair so they don’t dare oppose Dryfe… yeah, he’s nasty. Which makes him work as a villain, if you ask me.

However, there are a few things curious about him. First of all, at one point which is from his perspective, he says that Ray is one of only a few people who are extremely earnest about Infinite Dendrogram… a group that also includes himself. So in some way, he considers Ray as similar to him. This seems to go against his seemingly villainous ways and how he doesn’t care about tian lives… so that’s a curious point.

Also, Hugo at one point mentions that he has some personal attachment to Franklin. Also, he refers to Franklin as “he”, in quotation marks… I think at this point, the gears in my head were beginning to turn with thoughts on who “Franklin” actually is in the real world…

Jeskai Angel: Franklin is a troll. He exemplifies the worst kind of trolling behaviors associated with the internet. His genuine cunning empowers his spite in obnoxious ways. However, if Dendro is just a game, then in the end Franklin is a munchkin roleplaying as a villain. But if Dendro is more than a game, then it’s arguable that the professor is, in a moral if not legal sense, a mass-murdering terrorist. This brings us back to that question of what we think of Dendro. How “earnest” we are changes whether Franklin is evil or just a jerk. I would also note that his Embryo being Pandemonium brings to mind hell as depicted in Milton’s Paradise Lost. It’s no coincidence that Franklin and Hugo have embryos that literally reference hell (Hugo of course deriving from Dante’s version of hell). Finally, I’m really curious to learn more about why Franklin groups himself with Hugo, Ray, and this King of Tartarus person, as people who truly take Dendro seriously. If that’s true, and in-game Franklin is still a murderous maniac…he has the potential to be really disturbing.

3. What do you think of the fight against King of Orchestras, Veldorbell?

Gaheret: Veldorbell was my favorite character of this volume. I think his reason to be a villain of the Empire was understandable, the music aspect was interesting and his real life was both intriguing and credible. I only miss there were even more musical references, it could have been a feast. That he was clearly an old man also added an interesting twist (I imagine most players to be teens or twenty-somethings, though this may be just ignorance on my part). His four musical powers were explained beforehand and were a good fit for him, and his project about making the rising of a hero into an opera reminded me of Christopher Lee´s Charlemagne. Marie Adler was also very interesting to watch, on the other hand, both because of her powers had been explained just before and her personal connection with Elizabeth S. Altar established in the previous volume. Also, while the tians being rational beings means that they should be treated as humans, I find characters with more of a gamer mentality to be more interesting than those with a real world mentality, even if the author sides with the second more than the first. The power to create characters painted on the bullets seems a bit of a strecht, but the power to disappear from the game, on the other hand, is both credible and very useful. This fight was the high point of the novel for me.

The aesthetics of the Musics of Bremen analogues were frightening enough, too. And “a melody worth to die for” is a very suggestive name.

stardf29: So this battle was mainly to show Marie off in battle. There’s not that much in the way of character development, and the opponent is one we only first see here, with a pretty basic motivation very similar to Marie’s. So all things considered, it’s a battle that is pretty much here just for our entertainment. Not that there is anything wrong with that; it’s a fun fight that shows just what kind of fighter Marie is.

Jeskai Angel: The battles are generally highlights of Dendro, and Marie vs. Veldorbell is no exception. The story pits Incredibly powerful fighters with thematically linked abilities that have logical limitations against each other. All the characters feel legitimately powerful and use their abilities cleverly, and yet none of them feel invincible. However strong they are, others just need to figure out the right trick, the right matchup, the right combo, the right opportunity, to defeat them. I really think Dendro has some of the most well-written, tactically deep fight scenes I’ve encountered.

So, I agree that Veldorbell came across like an underdeveloped composer version of Marie, I still thoroughly enjoyed their battle. Marie was cool in the the previous vol., but here she shines even brighter by going up against such strong enemies as Franklin and Veldorbell.

Music make you lose control.

4. What do you think of the fight between Rook and Hugo?

Gaheret: Rook and Hugo, on the other hand, had backgrounds which felt unrealistic to the extreme. Rook was English, called Holmes, and the orphan son of a wealthy Sherlock Holmes bloodline of detectives and a Irene Adler/Carmen Santiago bloodline of thieves (who didn´t keep what they had stolen). He is a wealthy teen who has literally an explosive trap in his mother´s office, who he had to deactivate to find her dying gift. I find the whole thing crazy: that sort of background can fit in a comedy, or in a superhero story, but I´d say the whole point of an ID kind of story is that the outside world is realistic, and a gamer cannot turn into a real-world Batman (and thus, he does it in the game). In a way, Rook´s story undermines the essential function of the two worlds.

We find in this game that “Hugo” is in fact the idealized portrait of a shining knight, used as an avatar by a French girl of a bourgeois family with a convoluted family life, and whose sister and mother both left the family house (Oscar François de Jarjeyes, anyone?). This was more interesting, but as it happened with Rook, the story of the lady in question was a little bit just too French for me. Her father was even an amateur painter. Rook seems frustrated with her because he can see she is a “wordler” with a similar personality to our protagonist, yet she participated in Franklin´s plan due to a misdirected sense of loyalty and to consequentialist reasoning.

As for the fight itself, the Divine Comedy power -as much as I like a reference to the Divine Comedy- made things unnecesarily complicated, with numbers and percentages everywhere, and the deductive ability that Rook displayed in two seconds was a bit hard to believe. I disliked the fight. That said, I did like the scenery: the frozen warriors, the giant robot, the fact that some could pass and some could not gave a very unique feeling to the setting.

So, not so much a fan of this one. I liked that the two characters interacted, though, and that two friends of Ray were in direct opposition as rivals. Rook´s tactics seem a little hideous to me, but then, this is a game. Both seem the kind of people that have unresolved issues in the real world they should address, though I like her better.

stardf29: So the big thing here is that we get to see what kind of backstories Rook and Hugo have. I do agree that Rook’s backstory is a bit ridiculous, but then again, we got some hints in vol. 2 that Shu (Ray’s brother) in real life is also quite ridiculous. So I didn’t feel it was quite that out-of-place. At any rate, his crazy skills aside, his backstory is pretty simplistic: enough to make you sympathize for him and understand what he’s trying to do in this world, but nothing too huge.

Hugo, or rather Yuri… It’s definitely interesting to learn her backstory, and that she is a girl in real life, so she’s doing some crossplaying here, but for her it’s more than just role-playing and she’s basically assumed Hugo as part of her identity. In that sense, her involvement in Franklin’s plan poses an interesting moral dilemma, especially with Ray involved. And on the flip side, we see how Rook sees her dilemma and rather dislikes her for it.

At any rate, this all was very interesting to learn about the two of them, and was probably the highlight of the volume for me. The battle was pretty fun, too, as we see their powers in action. (Though I can’t help but feel like Hugo’s power can be a bit too OP since it gives him an edge against practically any Master, but maybe there’s additional limitations on it?)

Jeskai Angel: Rook and Hugo’s fight was much more character-focused than the action-centric Marie-Veldorbell fight. The IRL identities of Rook and Hugo had a major effect on their duel. I found both of them interesting characters, so the duel worked for me. Now, regarding the family backgrounds of these two…

Infinite Dendrogram is steeped in historical, mythological, literary, and pop culture references. So we’ve got Hugo referencing Dante and Franklin referencing Milton. Marie is literally the protagonist of a shounen manga. Figaro is a nod to opera. Nemesis’s “Vengeance Is Mine” ability is a Christian reference (as are, I presume, the paladins’ Grand Cross ability and the presence of a seductive female character named Babylon). Meanwhile, Rook’s creatures all bear names of famous actresses (Marilyn Monroe, Audrey Hepburn, Elizabeth Taylor). The mithril in “Mithril Arms Slime” of course comes from Tolkien. The control AIs derive their names from Lewis Carroll. Ray’s mount shares its name with a famous TV horse. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

In this context, I can’t help but wonder if the presence of a “marshmallow-like balloon giant,” isn’t meant to call to mind a certain comedy film from the ‘80s. Similarly, it seems perfectly appropriate that at least some of the characters’ IRL identities would take inspiration from history or fiction. Considering how loaded with references this story is, it doesn’t bother me at all if Rook and Hugo have backgrounds straight out of novels. That’s just the kind of story the author is telling.

On a related note, is the “certain someone” Rook references a few times himself? Or some other person we don’t know about yet?

5. What do you think of Ray’s battle against the RSK?

Gaheret: Concerning the RSK, what I liked the most was the tians perspective of the story at the end, full of epic and memorable descriptions, listing all the meaningful moments. The fight itself felt too technical for me, though I appreciated the effort to keep things interesting and offer an opponent that was able to negate all the abilities which had been used so far. Having Professor Franklin there but not doing much was somewhat puzzling, too. That the princess was at stake and the Knights of the Guard were fighting gave everything an epic feeling, on the other hand. “I will have to punch you” or “I´m just mad” feels inadequate when the stakes are so high, and it seemed to me that Ray wasn´t as pressed as he would be given that actual lives (or so he believes) are at stake, including lives of innocent children and loved ones.

Jeskai Angel: Power creep is common in stories without a definite final boss. So, for example, in the old-school isekai The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, the White Witch is the final boss, so there can be a progression to enemy encounters and character development that build toward her ultimate defeat. There’s no need for another stronger enemy to come along, the story finishes. But in stories without an ultimate villain, you find enemies of increasingly absurd and arbitrary strength, of whom you’ve never heard before, endlessly coming out of the woodwork to pester Goku or Superman or whoever.

In light of all that, I love how the Ray vs. RSK fight dodged a lot of these power creep issues. The story has repeatedly emphasized that winning often hinges on understanding the abilities of one’s opponent. As Ray himself observes, the RSK isn’t just arbitrarily strong — it’s custom-designed to counteract abilities Franklin knows Ray has. Ray’s struggle to defeat the RSK is a battle of wits as much as a physical confrontation. The RSK is a challenge to Ray for logical reasons, and he defeats it for logical reasons (as opposed to randomly getting stronger because the plot demands it *cough*why would you think I’m talking about the Dragonball franchise? *cough*)

stardf29: Your comment on “power creep” makes me think of how many of my favorite RPG bosses are ones that aren’t just “like the last boss but stronger”, but who actually change up the gameplay in ways that force you to think carefully about how to beat them. For example, in Pokemon, normally your gym leader battles are one-on-one matches, but there have been a few times the battles are two-vs.-two matches instead, forcing you to consider a completely different set of strategies. Bosses that make you fight smarter, not harder, are great in RPGs, and in that sense the RSK makes for a great “boss fight”. I guess I have to give Franklin some credit; he might be terrible as a human being, but at least he provides for a great battle.

On that note, the way the RSK gets beaten is also amusingly very “video-game-esque”: the RSK is like a video game boss that is designed to be immune to all of your earlier abilities, making you have to make use of your most recently-learned abilities to beat it. In video games, this is a part of helping players learn how to use new abilities; you start with some simple applications of those abilities in a safe environment, then start increasing the challenge as they get to use the abilities for real, then throw in some twists that make them think of more creative ways to use those abilities, and finally present a final challenge as a last test of sorts, like a boss battle. Ray’s own process of learning new abilities is a bit different, but overall this RSK battle is a great showcase of both his new abilities and how in general Ray overcomes challenges with some ingenuity.

6. How did the anime adaptation of this arc compare with the book?

stardf29: Overall, because this volume was so focused on battles, the anime did an okay job of adapting it. (This is in complete contrast to vol. 3, which the anime cut a lot out of, particularly with Marie and Elizabeth.) The overall low production values do still hold it back, but at least the backstories are all there and the battles are reasonably adapted.

7. Final comments

Jeskai Angel: I think this volume showcases some of this series’s strengths while largely neglecting others. We get an abundance of exciting combat won through information and cleverness. We get more humor, more fun literary allusions, and more thought-provoking questions about reality, morality, and how we experience fiction / imagination. The story also continues to blend a hyper-realistic setting with video game elements in a surprisingly elegant way, like the video game-y manner in which Ray defeats the RSK that you mentioned. (Some series, Reincarnated as a Sword for example, are so heavy handed about having a world based on RPG mechanics that they inflict blunt-force trauma on the reader, and Dendro avoids that.) On the other hand, character / relationship development takes somewhat of a back seat in Dendro vol. 4. Likewise, this volume doesn’t provide much new worldbuilding, either.

Gaheret: For my part, I definitively liked some parts more than others. This was for the most part a long, video-game like fight with character development via flashbacks. There were evocative, powerful images, some interesting characters, fantasy politics, video game mechanics and the interesting moral and vital issues related to the ludos and wordlers were also there, though not at the spot for most of the time. I think that, given that in the last volume we came to know, throught Elizabeth S. Altar, that in this novel the tians are basically real people able to think and love, a fight exclusively among Masters seems like a relief. They are, after all, players protected from pain and death. The backgrounds of many of the most important characters have come to the light, so it seems that an exploration of their respective issues will make for interesting future volumes.

stardf29: I suppose I’ll just say here that over the course of these four volumes, there’s been lots of foreshadowing for some reveals that are likely to happen in the next volume. Some of those reveals are already known to the readers, namely how Marie is the Superior Killer, but Ray doesn’t know of it, and it’s very likely he’ll find out soon enough. At any rate, it’ll be interesting to see how those reveals play out as next volume reaches the climax of this arc.

=====

And that’s it for our discussion of Infinite Dendrogram, Vol. 4! If you read along with us, let us know of your thoughts in the comments!

We will be announcing our next Light Novel Club titles on June 30th! Here are some hints on what those titles are:

“Dragon Rage had no effect!”

Anime adaptation incoming!

#Light Novels #Infinite Dendrogram #BtT Light Novel Club #Articles #Author: stardf29 #Author: JeskaiAngel #Author: Gaheret

[pitviperofdoom]

Fundraiser Commission #2

Thank you for donating $20!

Prompt: “Shigaraki, Dabi, and Toga go to Disneyland (no ships please, unless you wanna include a bit of Dabihawks in which case I will love you forever)”

Sadly I couldn’t fit the Dabihawks in there, sorry! I ended up going AU with it, hope that’s okay!

---

Like most things that made Touya drag his feet and roll his eyes and desperately pretend not to care, it was Himiko’s idea.

She came prancing into the bar while Tenko was hard at work mopping up nose blood by Fuu’s table, because some drunk idiot thought it was a good idea to reach for her chest. “Ten-chan! Ten-chan, guess what!”

Instinct almost made him snap at her for using even a shortened form of his real name, but the only other people in the bar were Kuro and Touya, so he let it drop. “Himiko, I don’t care who you fell head over tits in love with today, I’m not helping,” he said without looking up.

She pouted, her face scrunched up in a way that made her nose even more button-like than usual. “You’re no fun, Ten-chan. Besides, it’s not even about a crush this time!”

“Stop the fuckin’ presses.” Satisfied that the floor was clean, Tenko plunked the mop back in the bucket. “What’s up?”

She bounced eagerly on the balls of her feet. “Want to go to Disneyland with me?”

For a moment he simply stared at her, blinking owlishly as he processed the question. “What.”

From the pocket of her sweater she produced two slips of paper and waved them about. “I got two all-day passes! Let’s go to Disneyland, Ten-chan!”

He squinted at her. “Where the fuck did you get two all-day passes to Disneyland.”

“I won a sweepstakes!”

Tenko stood there, still holding on to the mop handle, processing this slowly. “When did you enter—no.” He threw his hands upward. “You know what? I don’t wanna know. Fine, you won a sweepstakes. Let’s go with that. Disneyland? Great!” He caught his breath, already mentally calculating the fastest way to save up the price for a third ticket.

Blissfully unaware, Himiko tackled him with a hug around his middle and a squeal of delight.

---

Touya was doing inventory in the back when Tenko flung the door open. “Good news! We’re going to Disneyland.”

“Congratulations,” Touya answered, without looking up from his clipboard.

“You’re coming too,” Tenko informed him. “My treat! You don’t have to worry about your ticket, and I’ll buy you an obnoxiously over-priced lunch, courtesy of the mouse.”

Touya shot him a disbelieving look, and the pencil in his hand began to smolder. “Tenko, what the hell. Who else is coming?”

“Just you, me, and Himiko,” Tenko answered, and was cut off by Touya groaning loudly. “C’mon, it’s Disneyland! Haven’t you ever been to Disneyland before?”

“Oh sure, yeah, the old man used to take us every weekend. We got pictures of him posing with Goofy.”

“Great, then—wait, really?”

“No, you fucking idiot!” Touya snapped. “I wasn’t even allowed to watch movies until he decided training me was a waste of time!”

“Oh,” Tenko said softly, and for a moment Touya thought the conversation was over. “Ohoho.” Something about Tenko’s tone made him look up, and he found Tenko staring at him with wide eyes and a grin that showed just a few too many teeth.

“Tenko, what—”

“I get to show you Disneyland,” Tenko said gleefully.

“Yeah, no.” Touya turned back to the inventory. “Have fun with Himiko, bye.”

“Touya, come on,” Tenko gritted out, walking into the back room and closing the door behind him. “You have to come. You can’t make me go alone with her!”

“Why not?” Touya asked. “She likes you better than me.”

“Because I need you to help me rein her in so she doesn’t get me perma-banned from Disneyland!”

It was frustratingly hard not to laugh at that. “What do you need my help for?” he asked. “What makes you think I’ll be any better at keeping her from biting the park staff than you are?”

Tenko shot him an impressive stink-eye. “Oh, I’m sorry, which one of us was an older sibling again?”

“Oh, what, you think that means I’m genetically predisposed to wrangling infants? That’s weak, Tenko.” He turned away with what he hoped was finality. “Have fun without me.”

After a moment of silence, Tenko answered, “I mean, we will. I didn’t think you’d be so bent on missing the show.”

Damn him, that was a good point. “If you’re so excited to drag me to a corporate shitshow of obvious pandering to a target audience, then why do you want me to come on the one day you’re pretty much guaranteed to get kicked out?”

“Because everybody and their grandma will have a camera and internet access, and if we end up plastered all over the internet, there’s a chance somebody’ll look at it and say, ‘Hey, isn’t that Endeavor’s kid getting maced by Minnie Mouse?’”

Touya whipped around to scowl at him. Tenko offered a disarming smile.

“Bullshit,” Touya retorted. “The mascots don’t carry mace. Do they?”

“Nah. Disney’s kind of obsessed with their squeaky-clean image. Did you know that if you die in Disneyland, they won’t let the paramedics call it until you’re out of the park so they can pretend nobody has ever died in Disneyland?”

“How many people die in Disneyland?” Touya demanded.

Tenko blinked. “None, weren’t you listening?”

For a while, Touya stared at him. Tenko stared back. This was a losing battle, and he knew it. Tenko had the patience of a brick wall. “You’re not gonna let this go, are you?”

“No.”

Touya put down the clipboard with a thud. “God damn it. Why are we friends? I hate you.” He turned back to glower at him. “When are we going?”

---

Obviously Himiko pouted when she found out that Touya was coming along on their little impromptu day trip, which was why Tenko waited to tell her until they were about to leave. She liked his company enough to prefer it over anyone else’s, and that wouldn’t do. Exclusive one-on-one positive contact with Tenko and Tenko only did not a well-socialized human being make. Tenko wished he could have invited some more people, but Himiko had sprung this on him on incredibly short notice, so there was no time to bribe anyone else to do it. Besides, his pocket money was limited and a day pass to Disneyland was like, eight thousand yen.

So they were going with Touya, and if Himiko wanted to complain about it, then Disneyland had plenty of distractions available. Once they got through the line, of course.

Tenko and Touya passed through the security check without any problems, because they weren’t stupid. Himiko, naturally, set off the metal detector.

“God damn it,” Touya muttered under his breath. “Why did we bring her again?”

“They were her tickets,” Tenko hissed back. “Technically, we’re the ones who brought you along.”

“Oh, yeah. Why did you bring me again?”

“What’s left of my sanity,” Tenko said out of the corner of his mouth. On the other side of the security gate, Himiko offered a cherubic smile that showed off just a little too much gumline, as the long-suffering security guard pulled a small metal device out of her purse. It was a nail clip, with attachments: a file, a buffer, a cuticle nipper, a cuticle pusher—basically any metal tool required in a manicure. It was like a Swiss army knife without the knife.

With a sigh, the employee put the manicure set back in her bag and waved her through. Himiko joined them with a skip in her step, and together they made their way past the entrance and into the World Bazaar.

“Did you seriously need to bring that?” Tenko asked. “What, are you planning on setting up a nail salon in the Space Mountain line?”

“Nope!” Himiko chirped. “I just didn’t want them to look harder.” She kicked up one heel so she could reach it with her hand. From inside her sock she produced an actual Swiss army knife.

“Himiko, what the fuck—”

---

“I can’t believe you actually bought those,” Touya said, glaring as if Tenko had personally affronted him.

“Bought what?” Tenko said innocently, reaching up to touch his mouse ears. “These? I brought these from home.”

“You still bought them at some point!”

“I think they look cute, Ten-chan!” Himiko hung onto his arm, squeezing tight enough to measure his blood pressure with her bare hands. “Don’t listen to him, he’s no fun! They look super cute, especially with your hair!”

Tenko let himself preen a little, because at least someone had good taste.

“Are those rose gold?” Touya asked.

“Maybe.”

“And you seriously shelled out for that?” Touya pulled a face. “Last month you tore me a new asshole for wanting to buy hero merch.”

“Oh fuck you—hi.” Tenko paused to wave at the park employee who was leveling a cheerfully pointed customer service smile at him. “Touya, you wanted to buy the store’s entire stock of Endeavor merch just so you could burn it.”

“What’s wrong with that?” Touya said sullenly. Himiko pouted, because she usually tried to avoid agreeing with Touya on principle.

“Uh, one, pollution,” Tenko said, counting off on his fingers. “Two, your money management sucks and you need to get it together. And three, you’re still giving money to the guy you hate. If you really want to snub him, just shoplift it. Or bootleg it. And speaking of which, that’s exactly what I did.” He gestured vaguely upward.

“Those are bootleg Mickey Mouse ears?”

“Bought ‘em from an artist on Etsy,” Touya said proudly. “The mouse had just sent her a cease-and-desist, so I got a pretty sweet deal.”

“Ten-chan, can I wear them?” Himiko asked. “I’ve always wanted Disney ears!”

He tugged on one of her side-buns, making her squeak. “Don’t waste your money, you already got ‘em.”

---

“I’m in hell,” Touya said serenely, slipping further and further down in his seat. “This is hell, right? It has to be hell.”

“I’m getting more of a purgatorian wasteland vibe,” Tenko remarked. “Like, this isn’t quite on the level of, say, Chuck E. Cheese, in terms of children’s media hope-abandonment, but… I dunno. I can imagine this playing as I eternally wander in search of penance for my past sins, or something.”

“I’m just waiting for one of those furry bastards to step off the stage and straight-up eat a kid,” Touya said, earning a glare from a nearby grandmother. “Like that one, with the guitar and the pouty mouth. Imagine that guy just unhinging his jaw like a snake and swallowing a toddler in the front row.”

“Huh.” Tenko leaned on one hand, squashing his cheek to the side. “Yeah, I could see it.”

Two seats down, Himiko continued to bounce and sing along to the twanging country music, blissfully unaware of the dull-eyed mother of three popping an aspirin and glaring at her.

---

“Okay, so we’ve been through the World Bazaar, Westernland, Adventureland, Critter Country—”

“I wanna go on Splash Mountain again!” Himiko cheered, throwing her hands in the air excitedly. She nearly punched Touya in her enthusiasm, but he quickly sidled out of the way, pulling the map close so that she wouldn’t tear a hole in it by accident.

“We can do that later,” he informed her. “We’re in Fantasyland—hang on, why am I the map guy?”

“You’re the oldest,” Tenko said.

“This trip was your idea! I didn’t even want to come!”

“Really? Because that wasn’t what you said when we got off of Thunder Mountain—” Tenko spotted a nearby face character and hung an immediate left. “Oh hey, I just found our next stop.”

Touya lowered the map. “What? Where? If we want to fit everything in before the park closes, then we have to hurry up and get to—”

“Yeah-yeah-yeah whatever,” Tenko called over his shoulder. “This won’t take long, I just want a quick selfie with Alice.”

Touya caught up to him just so that Tenko would see his incredulous look. “Why?”

Tenko stared back. “Seriously? That’s my favorite Disney movie!”

“Since when?”

“Since I saw it! How do you not know this already?”

“I did!” Himiko piped up. “It’s my favorite, too! I love the Red Queen.”

“No, wait a minute.” Touya squinted at him. “You told me literally an hour ago that your favorite Disney princess was Aurora because, and I quote, ‘I, too, want to sleep for a hundred years and let some other asshole fight a rosebush while I enjoy my coma.’”

“Oh, yeah, I was just being a dick,” Tenko said. “Alice in Wonderland rules. No dead parents bullshit, just eighty minutes of plotless colorful mindfuck.” Before Touya could protest any further, Tenko ducked in to grab his selfie. To his credit, it did take less than a minute. Tenko wasn’t picky about selfies. Unfortunately, Himiko immediately wanted one of her own, which then became three, and then ten…

The Alice jumped, and for a split second she seemed to struggle to stay in character.

“Oops!” Himiko chirped. “Did I pinch you by accident? Sorry!” Before the Alice could reply, Himiko darted back to the boys.

“Okay, you both have your stupid selfies,” Touya said impatiently. “Now can we hurry up and get to—”

“There’s a gift shop!” Himiko shrieked. “I’m gonna go see the gift shop!” Before either of them could answer, she raced off through the crowd.

Touya groaned loudly before Tenko dragged him after her. “Yeah yeah, hurry up and let’s catch up before she stabs someone.”

It was easier said than done; the store was packed and the aisles were almost mazelike. “Is there a fake weapons section?” Touya asked. “We’ll probably find her there.”

“Nah, this is mostly clothes…” Tenko looked around. “Maybe… there! I see her!”

“Where?”

“By the costume dresses, come on!”

Sure enough, to their immense relief, they found her pouting over a rack of child-sized princess dresses, with minimal carnage left in her wake. “None of these will fit me,” she fretted.

“Duh,” Tenko said flatly. “Adults can’t cosplay in the parks or they’ll get confused with the face characters. Kids get a pass because nobody’s gonna mistake a four-year-old for a Disney employee.”

Himiko looked close to wailing as they gently herded her from the store. “But—but—”

“I’ll buy you one online when we get home, now come on before Touya throws a tantrum.”

Touya folded up the park map and slapped him with it.

---

“Guys! Guys! Ten-chan look! Look at that Cinderella! She’s so pretty!”

“Himiko, there’s a line!”

“You can’t just trample children, you’re gonna get us kicked out!”

“Me next! Me next! Ohhhh, I want a dress like that! Ten-chan, won’t I look pretty in that dress?”

“HIMIKO!”

---

“Personally,” Touya remarked as they stood outside the park gates near closing time. “I can’t believe we didn’t get kicked out.”

“We had some close calls,” Tenko said. “I thought we were done for back at the Cinderella castle for sure. Also five minutes ago. I can’t believe we actually got out of that.”

“You guys worry too much!” Himiko said blithely from behind a bush. “I’m very charming.”

Touya scowled. “Himiko, you literally had to turn into a different person and point security in the wrong direction.”

“And they believed me, because I’m charming!” Himiko stepped back out onto the sidewalk, once more clothed and wearing her own face. “Thanks for the clothes, Ten-chan.”

“I figured you were gonna need them at some point.” Tenko rubbed his eyes wearily. “Let’s just go home so I can take an aspirin and sleep.”

“And find a Cinderella dress for me online,” Himiko added.

Tenko’s headache kicked up a notch. “Damn it, I was hoping you forgot.”

“Nope! I remember everything you’ve ever told me.”

---

“Hey Ten-chan. Ten-chan.”

“Yeah, Himiko.”

“I just wanted you to know I was kidding about the princess dress. I don’t even need it!”

“Mm-hm.”

“Wanna know why?”

“Yeah sure.”

“You’re not even looking! You have to look.”

Distracted, Tenko turned to look at her, and promptly fell out of his chair when he found himself staring at the Cinderella face character from the park, smiling Himiko’s smile.

“Is it too much?” The disguise sloughed off of her, revealing the Alice face character instead. “How about this, Ten-chan? You said Alice was your favorite, right?”

“Himiko, what the fuck.”

#my hero academia #shimura tenko #todoroki touya #dabi #toga himiko #commission #fanfiction #tales from the pit #dad night au