#going there for the first time as an adult with a group of women that I love who all support me unconditionally

[kriegertops]

This is a very long one:

I was going down a tumblr rabbit hole and came across and old Binoe page that had A LOT of Krashlyn content from 2019-late 2022. And I came away with a few observations:

1) Ali and Ash were deeply in love. The pics, videos, events, comments to each other, just their sheer history together is overwhelming, and they looked happy, affectionate and just in sync thruout. This idea that Ash was in an unhappy marriage is ridiculous. Bc nothing she ever posted indicated anything close to that.

2) The early Sloane months were adorable, and their captured family moments were so cute and loving. They absolutely doted on that child. She was the center of their world, and they documented so much of her cuteness, and it reminded me of how fun Ash was during this time, and I *briefly* remembered why I liked her back then.

3) I hadn’t realized that makeup artist Alex had been with them for so long- I thought she was new once they got to NY. But no- she was there on their wedding day and before. Also, forgot how close both A’s were to all the Gotham girls when they first got to the team, and how tight Midge was with the whole family.

4) I was reminded of how much soccer connected them, and how it dominated their lives.

I eventually had to stop scrolling bc I got sad seeing how they used to be.

So what in the heck happened?

1) I think Ash was not at all prepared for retirement. She didn’t really line anything up that would be sustainable employment, and not having that identity as an athlete was overwhelming. I’m guessing she had some mild/severe bouts of depression, and despite having an adorable family, she realized it wasn’t fulfilling her. That probably led her to be mean and resentful of Ali, which progressed into outright anger, and bc she’s at her core a narcissist, she blamed Ali for her own sorry situation.

2) there’s been so much talk of, how did Ali not know things were so bad? Well, after all those YEARS together, Ali probably assumed they would work it out. Even after ash moved out, she might have still had visions of repairing her family. Trust me, no mom willing concedes 50% of their time with their kids without a hard core fight. I think Ali was willing to do the work- she just couldn’t give it everything bc she was trying to f’ing retire.

3) those women had a TIGHT group of friends. For years, very formative years. Megan loved Ash. They were effusive abt their friendship. Reliving all their posts back and forth again signified how telling it is that almost NONE of their friend group publicly supported ash. National teammates, club teammates, outside soccer friends (makeup Alex), preschool families- they all gave her the heisman. They didn’t engage in SM, didn’t post pics, really just dumped her like a bad habit. Divorces happen in friend groups- it can be kinda awkward, but they’re grown adults who can make their own choices. And they all very clearly chose a side. And you wouldn’t do that as a friend unless what you saw was behavior so egregious and abhorrent that you couldn’t in good faith support it. And that’s exactly what happened. Ash recently posted something abt friends who chose her over optics, clearly indicating anger at those old friends. Her and Pinoe were at the same event this week, yet no public pics or any indication they interacted. I’m assuming they did, but in the past we’d see evidence of it. She goes on and on abt her new friend group, but it has to hurt a lot that she lost her old tribe. And people that know both her and Sophia- like a Glennon or Foudy, have given the couple no play at all.

4) While I have absolutely ZERO empathy for Ash, I do think she’s gotten herself into a situation that has lots of complications and might not end the way she expects. How do two self involved love bombers stay together once the newness wears off and they are in the mundane realities of everyday life? Ash has 17+ years left of raising kids. And once the kids are doing events and activities, she won’t be able to bail for a week at a time. And eventually she’s going to need to find work. Courts don’t like parents who don’t pull their weight. I think they got caught up in their infatuation, are bonded over their us vs them mentality right now, and once their feelings come back down to earth, it will be a different reality for them. I don’t really care- I don’t wish them any luck. I just think they have an uphill battle.

And my last musing after all this was about how much deep respect and awe I have for Ali. She was served a complete shit burger in the middle of her retirement season. When she should have been riding high, enjoying her last professional soccer games as a player, she was thrown into the worst chaos a person can be in. I will detest Ashlyn forever for putting her in this situation, and not having the maturity to wait it out with Sophia, and let her former wife have her moment. I think back to that Pinoe game where she and Sophia paraded around and my blood completely boils for Ali. I don’t know what happened between them, but the intentional cruelty and vindictiveness Ash showed is so disgusting, it defies logic. I am so thrilled that Ali has moved on, is thriving and has shed this dead weight from her being. I can’t imagine what she’s gone thru, but to see her unbothered and smiling now is just wonderful. I wish nothing but happy things for her!

Okay, I think that’s it! Thanks for reading my dissertation 🤣

Thank you for this anon!!! I appreciate the time you took to write this cause damn this is long😂🔥 I agree though with your thoughts on the situation and honestly the more we find out the more obvious it becomes that Ashlyn is nothing but a narcissistic cheater and Ali’s a warrior and queen who deserves happiness!

[sassmill]

Hate that I’m having a huge fucking freak out after a really nice day

#we went to (town where my CSA happened and where my family that has disowned me for speaking up about it all live) #which was weird #but I kept trying to focus on the moment #going there for the first time as an adult with a group of women that I love who all support me unconditionally #we were having a great time #and I was reminiscing about the town with my boss because she grew up there #so we both have a lot of formative memories of the same places #but each time I would tell her of some happy childhood memory I also had this ugly nasty thing lurking behind it #like yes my family all live here and I don’t come visit them anymore because they’re defending my abuser #and have made it abundantly clear that I am not welcome or accepted or believed or respected #and I kept trying to shove that down we were having such a good time #and then it was also great because I got to spend the day with Woman I Have Feelings For #but her reaction to the birthday card I made her was not what I had hoped so I was overthinking things the second my day started #and then spending the day with her outside of work made those feelings bubble up real big #but we were in a place that I associate with my trauma and my last relationship ended really traumatically as well #so I had the combination all day of: #do not think about your CSA do not think about it do not think about how your entire family turned on you without question #do not think about how much you’re scared that she has been trying to subtly reject you and you’re embarrassing yourself by not taking a bin #don’t think about how if she does feel the same about you you can’t enjoy any intimacy ever #because of the CSA #and because of the last person you dated #and don’t think about how your body rebels and launches into a trauma response ar the very thought of intimacy #and don’t think about how you’re terrified that you’ll never be able to be intimate without panicking #and don’t think about how you tried to force yourself to be intimate with someone and ended up completely freezing going mute #being retraumatized in another way entirely #don’t think about how terrified you are of the fact that you cannot predict or control that trauma response #how even with your first girlfriend when you wanted to be intimate you would freeze up #and how she yelled at you that one time ‘you never let me touch you’ #so yeah lads I’m crying a little bit in the dark #googling ‘how to overcome trauma response during intimacy’

[inkskinned]

it is the first snow today. i think we should all have off work, even though it didn't stick. i think there should be 4 national holidays, one for each season. happy first snow, go home and make cookies. for spring it can be the first crocus. for summer the first lightning bug. for autumn, the first golden leaf. go home, kiss your dog, feed your cat (who is absolutely already-fed but somehow still starving.)

i think we should all take more showers together, but i mean that in the soft way. i mean it like taking a nap. two years ago i had 5 adult friends in my queen bed, all of us laying across each other, head over belly over thigh over hand. any time one of us would giggle, it would ripple over each of us, like pulling on a spiderweb. kim actually needed to nap and didn't get to sleep and i am still sorry for it even though this is one of my most precious memories.

i think we should all wash each other's hair, i mean. i walk my dog and i watch someone put up twinkle lights around their front porch. alex and i just moved, and i love the neighborhood. already so many of our new neighbors have stopped by to say hello. the nice lady downstairs also collects plants, like me. she gave us her number on a pink post-it note. i am trying to decide whether to make her cookies or brownies.

i am going through a very hard time. something bad happened this weekend that i do not wish to discuss. it is hanging over me. i think of the green ribbon, and the woman who had her throat cut. it feels like that sometimes, inside of my body. like i am walking and talking despite being half-corpsed. like i am hanging on by a ribbon, standing on some kind of cusp. i keep saying - at least it wasn't worse. we are so lucky it wasn't worse. the idea is river-rock smooth now, all the edges worried off.

in this very dark night - the sun sets by 3 now - people don't need to, but they try anyway. they paint the missing light into things. i have an embarrassing number of missed calls and texts, but i feel the love from them nevertheless - hey. if you need something, i'm here. i will bring you food/puzzles/anything. i got you.

i think we should all have a big group chat where we do errands with strangers. this week i got lost in a home depot, which is wild because i'm a lesbian and we are actually hatched in a lowe's lumber section. there were two other women in the whole store. we ended up shopping together, at first by accident (we all needed things in the same aisle), and then because, well, why not. one of the ladies was taller than me, so she pulled down the screws i needed. i am agile and have the personality of a raccoon, so they sent me after anything below 3 feet. we talked about holiday plans and never learned each other's names, but did learn all the drama about each other's families.

i am making you cupcakes, because i have so much affection i want to pour it into batter. you ask me if i am eating enough per meal. i wrap your gift twice, trying to do it prettily. i get excited to give it to you, just because i hope you'll be excited too.

my parents drive an hour just to see the new apartment and to do the parent thing; standing in the kitchen saying things like "oh you'll get so much use from this dishwasher" and "well, you could paint that" and "when your mother and i moved it was uphill both ways and in a snowstorm and of course your brother was an infant." my mother brought me a plant for housewarming. i always say i love you before she leaves.

i play dnd on tuesdays still, after all these years. we all keep that night free. at one point, between grad school and marriage and all of it, we had to have a serious discussion about how to keep it running. we will keep going, we decided eventually. just to see each other, even if we don't play - you are all important to me. sebastian is not prone to affection but last night he stole my usual sign off - i love you all, be good, he said. he was laughing.

i don't love the winter, actually. i like snow in theory, but i grew up in the north, and am too-familiar with the season of "mud and sludge". i don't like being cold. but i do love something kind of soft and rare: every year around this time, people remember oh yes. you and i are human together. and i have love to spare.

it is the first snow, and something in my heart is finally warm again. i have spent what felt like the last 18 months just going-through-the-motions. it has felt blank and immediate, like i would never actually feel again. that sounds extremely trite and stupid - but that is the boring and familiar experience of depression. life just washes up against your windows, and you watch it happening. you see things that should be lovely and affecting, and it just whispers too-thin. i was desperately uncreative. uninterested in my hobbies. unimpressed by my writing. i told my therapist, often, i don't know how to find hope again.

almost sheepishly, something strange and lovely is burning in my chest. i keep not-looking at it, worried it will scamper back into the shadows again. it is skittish and wild, but it is so warm i want to sink my hands into its fur and feel it breathing. i love-hate it: if it's real, it can hurt me when it leaves again. but i am icarus-born, sun-lover and poet: i can't help myself. despite my best intentions, i am falling in love with life again.

i am planning to make cookies for my friends. alex and i are going to go christmas tree shopping. we picked out matching dish towels last night, and they have little mushrooms on them.

i love you. it does come back. yes, even after a long time. even for you. i promise. keep trying. you will wake up and it will be a day you can smile about.

write me when you get there. we will take the day off of work, and i will wash your hair, and we will both be laughing.

#spilled ink #writeblr #pos #recovery #my brain is like - don't trust it!!!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! we can't be wrong again!!!!!! #and im like. what if the sorrow is the thing that's wrong though. #what if this - this!!!!! - is the truth

[nerdgirlnarrates]

Even though it's been months since I switched from neurosurgery to internal medicine, I still have a hard time not being angry about the training culture and particularly the sexism of neurosurgery. It wasn't the whole reason I switched, but truthfully it was a significant part of my decision.

I quickly got worn out by constantly being questioned over my family plans. Within minutes of meeting me, attendings and residents felt comfortable lecturing me on the difficulties of having children as a neurosurgeon. One attending even suggested I should ask my co-residents' permission before getting pregnant so as not to inconvenience them. I do not have children and have never indicated if I plan to have any. Truthfully, I do want children, but I would absolutely have foregone that to be a neurosurgeon. I wanted to be a neurosurgeon more than anything. But I was never asked: it was simply assumed that I would want to be a mother first. Purely because I'm a woman, my ambitions were constantly undermined, assumed to be lesser than those of my male peers. Women must want families, therefore women must be less committed. It was inconceivable that I might put my career first. It was impossible to disprove this assumption: what could I have done to demonstrate my commitment more than what I had already done by leading the interest group, taking a research year, doing a sub-I? My interest in neurosurgery would never be viewed the same way my male peers' was, no matter what I did. I would never be viewed as a neurosurgeon in the same way my male peers would be, because I, first and foremost, would be a mother. It turns out women don't even need to have children to be a mother: it is what you essentially are. You can't be allowed to pursue things that might interfere with your potential motherhood.

Furthermore, you are not trusted to know your own ambitions or what might interfere with your motherhood. I am an adult woman who has gone to medical school: I am well aware of what is required in reproduction, pregnancy, and residency, as much as one can be without experiencing it firsthand. And yet, it was always assumed that I had somehow shown up to a neurosurgery sub-I totally ignorant of the demands of the career and of pregnancy. I needed to be enlightened: always by men, often by childless men. Apparently, it was implausible that I could evaluate the situation on my own and come to a decision. I also couldn't be trusted to know what I wanted: if I said I wanted to be a neurosurgeon more than a mother, I was immediately reassured I could still have a family (an interesting flip from the dire warnings issued not five minutes earlier in the conversation). People could not understand my point, which was that I didn't care. I couldn't mean that, because women are fundamentally mothers. I needed to be guided back to my true role.

Because everyone was so confident in their sexist assumptions that I was less committed, I was not offered the same training, guidance, or opportunities as the men. I didn't have projects thrown my way, I didn't get check-ins or advice on my application process, I didn't get opportunities in the OR that my male peers got, I didn't get taught. I once went two whole days on my sub-I without anyone saying a word to me. I would come to work, avoid the senior resident I was warned hated trainees, figure out which OR to go to on my own, scrub in, watch a surgery in complete silence without even the opportunity to cut a knot, then move to the next surgery. How could I possibly become a surgeon in that environment? And this is all to say nothing of the rape jokes, the advice that the best way for a woman to match is to be as hot as possible, listening to my attending advise the male med students on how to get laid, etc.

At a certain point, it became clear it would be incredibly difficult for me to become a neurosurgeon. I wouldn't get research or leadership opportunities, I wouldn't get teaching or feedback, I wouldn't get mentorship, and I wouldn't get respect. I would have to fight tooth and nail for every single piece of my training, and the prospect was just exhausting. Especially when I also really enjoyed internal medicine, where absolutely none of this was happening and I even had attendings telling me I would be good at it (something that didn't happen in neurosurgery until I quit).

I've been told I should get over this, but I don't know how to. I don't know how to stop being mad about how thoroughly sidelined I was for being female. I don't know how to stop being bitter that my intelligence, commitment, and work ethic meant so much less because I'm a woman. I know I made the right decision to switch to internal medicine, and it probably would have been the right decision even if there weren't all these issues with the culture of neurosurgery, but I'm still so angry about how it happened.

#I would love to do something about this but I have no idea how to #even the faculty that I do really admire and respect seem entrenched in some of these attitudes #it's really hard to convince people that women aren't traitors in the making #simply because we might get pregnant one day and need time off #oh I also heard people shittalking a resident that was on maternity leave #and saying she wasn't serious about neurosurgery #so it's just inevitable #I'm not the only female student that feels this way btw #there's a reason no women have applied to nsgy from my school in years #sexism #neurosurgery #surgery #medicine #medical school #med school #med student #medblr #my content #my text posts

[byunpum]

Safe heaven

Pair: Neteyam x Human!reader (sully family, others na'vi)

Warning: Neytiri being a bit(a lot) controlling, forced pairing, cozy moments, comfort moments, All characters are adults.

Note: I had this draft half done, and decided to finish it today. Let's see what you think, I left it open ended. If it's received good feedback I'll continue…it's a short story. But how did you find it so far?

AVATAR MASTERLIST | Ko-fi

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4[final]

Returning to the Omaticaya clan, where Neytiri was born, grew up and raised her children, was the best thing she could have done. After the confrontation with the RDA, things seemed to calm down. After a year of living in the Metkayina clan, the Sullys returned to their clan in the jungle. They were accepted immediately and things seemed to be running smoothly. But lately something was making neytiri anxious, and it was the future of her children. Tuk and kiri were still very young, they were just starting to live, lo'ak was still in training, he was not far away from becoming a man. But neteyam was already a man, he was at the perfect age to find a mate and make a family of his own. And neytiri was going to handle this. She wanted neteyam to make a good choice, neteyam was next in line to be Olo'eyktan. As the son of toruk makto, that was a position he had to take, and he had to have a good partner by his side. The mate neteyam chose also chose the position he wanted to belong to, and neytiri wanted him to have the best place in this clan.

Neytiri was given the task of introducing them to the best women in the clan, and with the best references. Many girls were after neteyam and she knew it…she had heard how the girls talked about how amazing and handsome her son was, but neytiri had to find the girl she found perfect. But whenever she introduced a new girl to neteyam he would just say hello…talk to her for a few minutes and that was it. He showed no interest in them, it was as if another ordinary clan member was talking to him. But this did not stop neytiri, that was until she met Lekka. She was a majestic na'vi, she was very beautiful. Not to mention how skilled she was at hunting, a true warrior. Neytiri thought that this girl would be the perfect match for her eldest son, besides the girl had told him that she was very attracted to neteyam and that she was interested in him. So neytiri took this sign as a good opportunity to introduce them both to each other.

Today was a hunting party, neteyam with the Na'vi hunting party had a good day. The hunt had been a success, and they were having a small celebration in the clan, just outside the hallelujah caves. A nice hidden place and perfect for carrying on the omaticaya traditions. The whole clan was there, including some humans. Of course, the Omaticaya clan already had to coexist with the good humans, who had helped them fight this battle between species. The laughter, the dancing filled the atmosphere with peacefulness…neteyam was with his group of friends, moving away for a moment to get a drink. It wasn't until he bumped into his mother. -"Neteyam I glad you're here," said neytiri, next to her was this girl, lekka. Neteyam had to admit she was very pretty. But… he wasn't impressed. -"Hi mom…" neteyam speaks nervously, he already knew where his mother was coming from. It wasn't the first time she introduced him to a na'vi girl. Neytiri laughs a little, taking the girl's arm to bring her closer to Neteyam. - "May I introduce you to lekka, she is the daughter of telup" speaks neytiri. Neteyam makes the 'I see you' sign waving to the girl.

Neteyam could see how nervous the woman was, she was shaking a little bit. And she was looking down, he felt a little sorry for these girls. Her mother always put them in this embarrassing situation. -"Nice to meet you… it's a pleasure. My name is neteyam" neteyam speaks. -"Yes… I've heard a lot about you," says Lekka with a trembling voice. Neytiri apologizes to the couple of guys, telling them that she was going to go get more food, but it was a pretend to leave them alone. According to her everything was going as she had planned. Neytiri proudly approaches the group that was waiting for her and watching from afar. Mo'at, Tsu'tey, Jake were looking at her walking towards them, with a big smile on her face. Neytiri approaches and sits down next to Jake. -"And what do you do now?" asks Mo'at, the woman didn't have to look at her daughter to know that she had done something. -"Me? nothing…the essentials," says neytiri, she is proud of her work, she has just introduced an amazing girl to her son.

"You know that's not going to work, right?" says mo'at. Listening as neytiri chokes a little on her drink. "Mother what are you talking about, of course I do" says neytiri, looking to jake for support. But he just shifts his gaze, trying not to be included in the conversation. On the other hand tsu'tey looks curiously at the two women. "You're trying to get neteyam together with that girl…you can tell he doesn't like her. Besides…this trying to get together never works, look at you," says mo'at. Now it was jake's turn to choke, but from laughter. He knew mo'at was referring to how he and neytiri met. Meanwhile tsu'tey made a groan of annoyance and leaned back on the log behind him. - "I witnessed that, and I agree with mo'at" complains tsu'tey watching as jake continues to laugh.

"Hey…but this is different. Neteyam is different, I know what I'm doing" says neytiri, sitting up more in her seat. She was getting upset, no one in her family understood her. But she wanted neteyam to make the right choice and take her rightful place again. "Love…I know why you're doing this, but it's not necessary. Neteyam will eventually find a girl he likes, you should leave him alone" jake says, but he can see how neytiri is looking at him with a pout. Grimacing for him to keep quiet, jake just laughs a little and keeps drinking. he knew neytiri was stubborn and didn't care what anyone else thought, she was going to do it. Jake watches as neteyam is talking to the girl. You could see how uncomfortable he was, fidgeting a little. His tail was curled up at his heels and he glanced at the group of friends from time to time. - "He looks very nervous," says tsu'tey, he was also looking at the boy. - "Why is he…neytiri" speaks mo'at, looking at his daughter. Neytiri rolls her eyes, and now looks at her son. She clearly noticed how uncomfortable the boy was, but she supposed it was normal. He had never talked to that girl before, he might be nervous because of how cute she was. -"They look good together," says Neytiri. - "Yes they look good…but he doesn't look good" jake grimaces, the interaction his oldest son was now having with that girl was horrible.

"Mo'at?" y/n taps the woman's shoulder, getting her attention. - "Oh, what's wrong?" says mo'at, turning to look at you. All the group's attention was now on you. -"I'm going to go rest, I've finished doing the chores you told me to do," you say, laughing a little.

You had been one of the human children born here in Pandora, just like Spider. And it was normal for you to have interacted with the na'vi from an early age… but while spider preferred to be playing with the sully children, you preferred to go look for fun elsewhere. And that's where you met mo'at, the woman noticed how every day you would go to her hut and watch her in awe as she worked. Or when she was doing her daily chores, you always followed her. She never complained about you, you were quiet and calm, so your presence pleased her. One day mo'at invited you to approach her, and that's when you started asking questions. Which surprised mo'at, you were a very intelligent child, for such a young age. Something told mo'at that she had to help you, and accept you. So she dedicated herself to become your guardian…she would teach you, take care of you and make you join the clan. She would never be your mother, but she would care for you like one.

"Oh thanks, I'll look at the results later" says mo'at, stroking your hand a little. -"Hey, why don't you stay a bit to celebrate… kiri is over there," says jake, waiting for you to accept. You had grown up with his children, you were practically a daughter to him. For some reason, neytiri had no problem with you when you were around his children, she thought you were good. But only that. -"mmm no thanks, I want to go rest" you apologize, and say goodbye to everyone. Starting your way to the lab. -" She has helped you a lot, hasn't she?" speaks tsu'tey, looking at mo'at. The woman was still looking at you from afar, with a proud look. - "You know…she has a great future. She's smart and a quick learner," mo'at says. -And not only in the medical field…in technology she is amazing, you have to see how she helps norm, she is very smart" says jake. Everyone is silent for a moment. -"Besides…she's a very sweet girl, she's good" says mo'at while he continues eating. Neytiri doesn't say anything, she just listens curiously and then turns all her attention to her son neteyam. When she looked, she saw that the boy was no longer there. Instead there was a lekka alone, waiting for the boy to return. Neytiri stood up quickly, approaching the girl. "Where is neteyam?" asked Neytiri, looking around to see if she could find her son. -"I don't know…he said he was going to look for something, and he hasn't come back," says Lekka. Neytiri was going crazy, she didn't know what she was going to do with that boy.

After talking to mo'at, you decided to go to your favorite place. You knew you had told mo'at you were going to rest, but you didn't dare tell her where you were really going to go or do. Walking secretly, as you went deeper into the jungle, you thanked Pandora's nature for being so bright. It was a spectacle for your eyes, walking faster to get to your secret place. Not far away, about 20 minutes walk, there was a crashed plane. You were sure that it was from the first war that the RDA had with the clan, because it was very deteriorated, and the first time you had found it you had to clean some skeletons that were still inside. After a while this had become your secret place. You reached the entrance of the plane, opening it carefully… pushing open a door you had made out of metal. Entering and pointing at it as you closed the door. Approaching a machine you had created not long ago, stretching the rope so that it would turn on and start doing its job, oxygenating the area. This machine allowed the air around it to be clean and safe for you to breathe, at least 10 feet away. The plane had some closed areas, so that the good oxygen didn't get out, but still the pandora's air came in. But still, it was safe for you.

This was the best thing you did…invent. As Norm used to say, you were a little box of surprises, always inventing things and improving others. Since you were little you had been like that, your head was full of ideas and this hideout was the representation of that. Although it didn't have the best structure and your goal was to sign it completely, you were still working on it. Taking off your oxygen mask, placing it on the wall. To start getting more comfortable, he had to be here before long. Or so you thought, looking out the broken window a little. Not getting too close, without leaving your safe zone. You see that no one is around. You sit down near a small table you had down at night, starting to work on the new oxygen mask prototype you were making. You were so busy, you didn't hear the first knocking on the front door. Knock, knock, knock… the knocking got louder and you panicked. Keeping silent, and turning off the lights you had on.

Carefully approaching the door, to see who it was. -"Hey…baby it's me" you hear his voice, and smile a little relieved that it was him. You turn on all the lights and open the door quickly, meeting the boy. Neteyam was at the entrance, looking around, making sure no one was watching him. -"Hey get in quick…the air is getting thinner," you say, taking his hand and pushing him into the plane. Neteyam laughs as he enters carefully, lowering his head as he passes through the door. As soon as he enters, he can feel you wrap your arms around his neck, trapping him in a soft kiss. Giggling against your lips, as he holds you around the waist. Sitting carelessly on the floor. - "Y/N…love" neteyam was laughing, as you pull away caressing his face. Arranging his hair, looking at him carefully, studying his mood. He looked somewhat exhausted and overwhelmed…something seemed to be bothering him. -Are you upset?" you ask, watching as Neteyam lays his head on your chest.

He was sitting on the floor and you were standing between his legs. This allowed a perfect height for him to lie on top of you. -"I am… but it's not you," says Neteyam, as you hug his head closer to your chest. - "Well…anytime you want to talk about it, I'm here," you say. He closes his eyes for a moment, then pulls away from you. "hey, take this," neteyam pulls out of his small pouch, a piece of food that he had wrapped in a leaf. -I saw that you left quickly…you haven't eaten anything," says Neteyam, watching as you take the piece of food and walk away from him, sitting down right in front of him. "Mmmm yeah…I was going to eat with you, but…you looked busy" you open the leaf, but neteyam could see your raised eyebrows. -"Oh, that…this is lekka…you know how my mom is about introducing me to girls" says neteyam, taking your foot in his hands to start massaging it. He didn't want you to bother with him, he wasn't to blame.

"mmm she's very beautiful, I've heard how good she is" you speak, taking a bite of the meat. Now looking up to see neteyam, he was looking at you with a soft smile on his lips. His little eyes are sparkling, as if he is looking at the most beautiful thing in this universe. -"But she's not as beautiful as you…you know that," says neteyam, watching you grimace. Trying not to laugh or choke. Neteyam reaches out his hand, to wipe some sauce from your lips. - "I'm serious… you are so beautiful in my eyes" says the boy, leaving you speechless. He always left you speechless.

You two had grown up together, although you preferred to be with mo'at. You also went to play with spider and the sully boys. Even when you were growing up you preferred to be with neteyam, nothing ever happened. You were just good friends, it wasn't until neteyam had to leave the clan that you noticed that your feelings for him were much greater. Just like neteyam, you promised each other that you would see each other again. And so he kept it, when he returned to the clan the first person neteyam went to look for was you. From then on you had not separated, starting this relationship on the quiet. You used to meet here on the plane, and only here you could be together. Outside you were just good friends…but here is your secret hiding place, you were yourselves. This situation was time consuming, and sometimes it could be exhausting for the two of you.

After eating, and making jokes about hunting neteyam. You both decided to lie down and talk for a while. Neteyam was leaning back in a rather large chair in the plane. While you were lying between his legs, with your back against his chest. Netayam was holding your hand, playing with your fingers, looking at how strange and beautiful they were at the same time. - "Hey…did you notice that now the walls of the plane are sitting more" you speak, listening as Netayam answers you with a 'hmm'. - "I won't close all the windows though, so you can still get your air in and be comfortable in here" you speak. - "you're great baby… I don't know how you have all these ideas" says neteyam, kissing your hair. "I don't know, it's just natural" you laugh, feeling Neteyam wrap his arms around your torso. To pull you closer to him, kissing your shoulder. Lately you had been wearing the na'vi outfit that kiri had given you, and neteyam loved it. He could feel you better this way, without the horrible human clothes you used to wear.

"Baby… how about if you stay to sleep with me here…today?" asks neteyam, you can feel how his tail gives you some taps on your feet. He felt nervous about your answer, it wasn't the first time neteyam proposed this to you, but you always denied it. Saying that norm was waiting for you in the lab. It was partly true, but not that much. -"Mmm I'm not sure" you start to speak, but neteyam interrupts you. -"It would only be today… I don't want to leave you" neteyam hugs you more tightly. Norm wasn't necessarily expecting you, but you knew he was going to ask a lot of questions the next day. Just like neteyam, he knew what he was expecting and even more so coming from his mother. But he didn't really care, he wanted to rest with you, to spend more time with you.

You think about it for a moment… it would be fine if you stayed here. This place was perfectly equipped, besides… you also wanted to stay with him like this. - "Well… it's okay. But we have to get up early, ok" you look up, seeing how neteyam was giving you a big smile. In one swift movement neteyam, grabs you by the waist and lifts you up to get on top of you. You were all giggles, feeling him start to kiss your neck, and chest. "I'm at your service sweetheart" neteyam says excitedly, lying on top of you letting his head rest on your breasts. Breathing deeply of your scent, wrapping his arms all over your body. Sometimes he could forget that he was almost twice your size, and that lately he had grown muscularly. -"You're crushing me," you tease, feeling him release you. -"I'm sorry" he laughs, kissing your lips one last time before settling back. You were his safe haven in this world.

In the hut…

"Hey, have you seen neteyam?" neytiri asks jake. They had gone to sleep very late, noticing that they had never seen neteyam return. Neteyam was still with them in the family hut, although he could go and do whatever he wanted. Noticing that all the kids had arrived but him. "No, maybe he went off to do something else, or he's with someone else," said Jake, not really paying attention to what he said, he was too busy sharpening his knives. But this made neytiri even more curious and she started to think. Maybe neteyame saw lekka again, and she told neytiri that she hadn't seen him so she wouldn't be embarrassed. Or was neteyam with another girl? Or he was getting tired. Neytiri didn't want to look like a stalker mother, but she had to know what was going on in her eldest son's head.

P.S What do you think of this story? I would like to know what you think. <3

#avatar the way of water #avatar x y/n #avatar x reader #avatar x you #avatar 2022 #human y/n #neteyam imagine #human reader #neteyam #neteyam x human reader smut #neteyam x human reader #neteyam x human!reader #neteyam oneshot #neteyam sully x reader #neteyam sully #neteyam scenario #neteyam series #neteyam smut #neteyam x you #neteyam x female reader #atwow neteyam #avatar neteyam #neteyam x y/n #neteyam x reader #female y/n #neteyam fanfic #avatar masterlist #neytiri avatar #neytiri x neteyam #neytiri imagine

[reiderwriter]

Margaritas and Mistakes

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female Reader

Genre: Fluff, suggestive, smut coming in the next part (it's already written it just felt best to post them separately lmao).

Warnings: Suggestive language, dirty talk, some heavy petting and mention of sexual arousal. 18+ MINORS DNI

Summary: On a group night out, you get a little more drunk than you want to, and when Spencer shows up looking like the love of your life and not just your coworker, you realise that the margarita’s are having more of an effect than they should be.

A/N: Welcome back, it's my week off currently so I've been writing a copious amount of smut, so please enjoy this 3.6k word build up to more smut coming soon. Requests are still open, and you can find my masterlist here!

PART TWO!

You truly made all of your worst decisions when under the influence of alcohol. You blamed it on the fact that you really didn’t get the chance to go out all that often now that you were a full time member of the BAU Team. But the job was sometimes rewarding, and considering you’d been working on consultations all week and not a full time case, you were really looking forward to stretching your legs this friday night and getting some much needed relaxation in before you had to stare evil in the eye one more time.

“Girls’ Night Out! No male detectives, partners, Special Supervisory Agents, Unit Chiefs, OR Doctors!” Penelope cheered as you arrived at her apartment that night prior to your eventful outing.

“God I needed this,” Emily sighed, taking a sip of her drink. “I can’t remember the last time I got to kick back with a glass of chardonnay.”

“You sent me a picture of your drink two days ago, and it didn’t exactly look like water,” JJ laughed.

“Ah you see, my dear JJ, that wasn’t kicking back. That was therapy.”

“Honestly, though, it’s going to be good to get out of the house. I swear, the only places I’ve been for the last month have been my apartment and work,” you sigh, downing the last of the drink Penelope had handed you on the way in.

“What happened to that guy you were seeing, Y/N? Was he that bad?”

“Don’t even mention it. He took me back to his place and he didn’t even have a mattress on the floor, wanted us to do it on his couch,” you groan. “The couch that was also housing all of his laundry. And I’m not positive it was even clean laundry.”

You really had been having the absolute worst luck with men recently; other than your aforementioned tinder date, the only men who had shown any interest in you being serial killers who wanted to murder you and married cops looking to fool around with an FBI agent. Not the most auspicious of dating pools.

“Okay, operation get Y/N laid is a go. Ladies, your jobs tonight, should you choose to accept it, is to become the best wing-women this town has ever seen!” Penelope joked, and you found yourself giggling at just the idea, thankful that they were taking the time to try to cheer you up.

“Oh I’m all in. I’m warning you now, Y/N, my wing-woman success rate is pretty high. I’ve helped multiple couples achieve not only orgasm, but also marriage and kids.” Emily boasted.

“Emily, next time you might want to think about the wording of that one,” JJ laughed. “But I’m in too, you could use a little unwinding.”

“Not you too, JJ. You were supposed to be our voice of reason tonight.” You giggle into your cup, feeling the effect of your starter alcohol already.

“Nope. We’re having no responsible adults in our midst tonight. That’s why I’ve already arranged for our favourite Doctor to come and pick us up when the last of us falls tonight. He’s at a screening of some Indie Russian flick until 2am which is probably about perfect for our plans.”

This is the first you’ve heard of Penelope’s plans, but you’re not against it. With a solid escape route, you can let loose as much as you want tonight and know that all of your friends are fully able to have as much fun as possible tonight.

“Well, that’s the plan for us, sweetcheeks. Maybe you’ll get lucky.” Penelope winked at you with a nefariously innocent look on her face. And suddenly you weren’t quite as sure you trusted her…

–X–

After your first margarita at the bar you were still feeling fine. Sure, you were talking a lot louder than you usually did, and if you saw yourself in the mirror you’d probably start giggling instantly at the stupid, semi-permanent grin on your face, but you were feeling so relaxed that it was of no consequence.

You’d moved swiftly from Penelope’s apartment to the nearest downtown bar. It looked pretty seedy to you, and the lighting was so low you could barely make out the faces of your friends in their seats at the same table as you, but you were sure some of that was just the alcohol blurring your vision.

Your hearing though was still in top shape, which was why when Penelope asked her next question, you almost spit the drink out of your mouth, rushing to laugh.

“Okay, fuck, marry, kill, Hotch, Morgan, Reid.” She giggled as she posed the question to her teammates.

“Oh come on now, that’s not fair.” Emily laughed at the question posed.

“You’re right, I don’t know a woman alive that doesn’t want a ride on my chocolate thunder.” Penelope let out a faux dreamy sigh and took another swig of her drink.

“And marrying Reid just seems wrong. He’s like our brother at this point.” JJ points out, just shuddering at the thought.

“So we’re all in agreement? Fuck Morgan, marry Hotch and lovingly bury Reid six foot under?” Emily laughs and the other two nod.

“Nope,” is all you manage to get out before going for another large gulp of your drink.

“Well, well, well, Y/N what would you be doing differently?” Emily snaps her head around to look at you, eager for the juicy details.

“None of you are curious what the doctor is packing?” You reply, almost innocently, unaware of the many plots culminating in the minds of your friends at that very second.

“Not at all. “Nope.” “That’s pretty gross, actually.” They all seem to reply at once, but Penelope pushes another drink into your hand as soon as you’re done and gets ready to launch a counter-attack.

“Are you curious about it?” She leaves it at that, and if you weren’t so drunk, you’d have seen them all lean into you, desperate for your answer and ready to hang off of your every word. "Do you think about you and him… You know?"

“Every night,” you sigh dreamily. And you’re telling the truth. In the recent months, you’d found yourself waking up a little hot and bothered after some rather steamy midnight encounters with the Good Doctor. You’d become close to him over the few months you’d worked with him as a member of the team, but it wasn’t like you’d had a crush on him or anything. It was more like your body had an unconscious appreciation of his body. Or at least for certain parts of his body.

“His fingers are really nice, you know. And they’re big, too. Just makes a girl curious, s’all.” You down the proffered drink, hiding your remaining shame behind the glass.

“No, no, no babycakes, we’re gonna need more details than that if you’re gonna claim that you want to fuck Reid more than Morgan.” Penelope insisted, more forceful now than before.

“And what exactly does every night mean, Y/N? Something you should be telling us?” JJ wiggled her eyebrows at you and you lost it for a few seconds having a giggling fit.

“Okay, okay, it’s just… You’ve seen how he looks, right? And there was that one case three weeks back. He confronted that accomplice, and when he was about to bolt he slammed him against the wall and held him there like he’d barely broken a sweat. And you know how it is, we see Morgan kicking down doors on the daily, so I thought I wouldn’t be that interested in feats of physical strength, but my only thought in that moment was that I’d rather like him to slam…me…against that …wall.” You slowed down your speech at the end, looking up to see what looked to you like the grinning faces of three wolves staring down at their prey.

“And now I need another drink, anyone up for another round?” You squeaked out, changing the topic before any of the others could make their own comments.

–X–

Your second round of margarita’s was probably where things went irreversibly wrong for you. You’d returned to the table with two rounds of shots for all, having queued up four songs on the ancient jukebox you’d seen in the corner, hoping to entice the girls away from conversation, and it had worked.

After you’d bought the first two rounds, JJ had bought you another, and then Emily had splurged on another three, and then Garcia had rounded the hour out with one more shot, this time with sparklers attached.

So by the time you got back to your table and took a much needed swig of a drink that didn’t have to go down all at once, you were feeling well past drunk, to say the least.

But with the free-flowing alcohol came the lack of inhibition, so you really didn’t care. True to their word, the girls had been doing their best to convince you to dance with some of the guys in the bar since you’d gotten up, but truthfully none of them had enticed you.

But now, the night was running out, and the alcohol had you a bit hot and bothered, so when you felt a nice, hard body press up gently against yours, you decided to take advantage of the situation. Without looking back, you wrapped your hand around the one of his that had grazed your hips and held in there, moving your hips back and forth and beginning to grind back into your mystery man.

He was a little bit still at first, but eventually began making some slow movements along with you, and you could see the others cheering for you from a distance, Emily especially whooping from her perch at the bar.

You felt the voice lean down to your ear after a minute or so, and you tilted your neck up to hear the tall man a little better.

“What are you doing, Y/N?” He whispered against your skin, still letting him guide you through the music. Had you been sober, you’d have realised the voice was more than familiar, especially since he’d said your name, but you were not, and so you did not.

“Well, if you’re lucky, tonight I’ll be doing you?” you giggled back, looking up at the man quickly. But with the hazy lights of the bar and the copious amount of alcohol you’ve ingested, you don’t catch a good enough glimpse of the man to realise he’s your coworker.

“I think you’ve had enough to drink,” he says, when you start to pull him towards the bar, his grip on your hips tightening, accidentally pressing you back into what you expect to be his semi-erect cock, straining against your clothing.

“Oh, what, wanna take me home right now? That’s okay with me, mister.” You giggle, grinding back into him more intentionally this time. You grip his hand and try to force it up to touch more of you, utterly carefree about throwing yourself on what you presume to be a stranger in the middle of a bar.

Before you manage to, however, he lets out a frustrated groan and turns you around by your hips, forcing you to look him in the eye for a little bit longer, and all of your senses finally start working once again.

“Yes, Y/N, we’re going now. Penelope called me 15 minutes ago and said you were ready for that ride home and I can see now that she was right,” Reid leant down so you could hear him enough, but your brain was short circuiting.

You’d been grinding on your coworker. The one that had been the cause of so much of your sexual frustration for the past god knows how long. Spencer was right in front of you, and he hadn’t loosened his grip on you that much. Spencer was right in front of you and his erection was poking into you.

Really, your following actions shouldn’t be held against you in the slightest given the situation.

“Are you going to take me home, Doctor? Lay me down in bed and get me nice and comfortable?” you giggled up at the man, now enjoying the way your insinuations were making him blush.

“Y/N, you’re not being fair. We need to get the others and go,” he shot back, irritation dripping from his tone.

“Oh I’m sorry, am I being a bad girl?”

“You’re certainly being very difficult- what are you doing?” He jolted as you moved your hands to his fair, beginning to play with the curls at the nape of his neck.

“It’s softer than I imagined it would be,” you giggled again, pressing yourself forward to press a kiss against his neck.

“Okay, we need to get you home,” he panicked, grabbing both of your hands, pressing them against your sides, spinning you around and walking you back towards the other girls.

“Hello Spencer~” the girls all giggled as you approached. You struggled against his grip a little, but he kept you firmly in place, man-handling you slightly, and you practically melted into his touch.

“Who let Y/N drink this much? Don’t answer that, you’ve all been drinking the same amount, right?” He left out a frustrated breath, and ran one hand through his hair. You attempted to move again, but he’d practically pinned you to the table. Your hips were pressed into the edge of it, his hips pressed against you, forcing you up against the table in a way that should have been uncomfortable. His other hand was resting near your discarded glass, caging you in almost entirely.

“Cars out front, lets go,” he said, his jaw twitching with anger now.

“No need, lover boy, taxis are coming to pick myself, Penelope and JJ up as we speak,” Emily slurred the words, but got the idea across well enough. “You’ll just be needing to take this little kitten home and you’re done for the night.”

They were all giggling now, as you let out a childlike yay, your excitement evident on your face.

“We’ll wait and see you all off together at least, so outside now. She needs some fresh air or something,” he was practically talking to a wall at that point, but after a few repetitions, the women acquiesced and moved outside.

“Ooh, that’s my taxi, gotta go,” Garcia practically runs from you the moment you step outside, and you wave at her whilst wrapped around one of Reid’s arms, stumbling with each step.

“Use protection my sweet babies,” she shouts as she slams the car door just as her car drives away, leaving a spluttering Spencer unable to respond that he’s not touching you tonight while you’re in this state.

The taxis for Emily and JJ arrive swiftly as well, and the two soon depart with similar messages and soon you find yourself alone with Spencer once again.

“So, your place or mine,” you smirk, looking up at him and batting your eyelashes in the sweetest way you can manage.

“You’re drunk, Y/N, you don’t know what you’re saying.”

“Drunk I may be, Doctor, but I absolutely know what I’m saying. I’m saying I want you to shove me against a wall and finger fuck me until I don’t know how to walk anymore.”

“Goddamnit, Y/N, someone’s gonna hear you.”

“Oh you want me to be quiet? If you take my panties off and push them into my mouth maybe you could shut me up for a few minutes.”

“Get in the car, now.” You stick your tongue out at him, but hop into the passenger seat. He slams the door in your face and takes a few deep breaths before moving around and getting in himself.

–X–

Despite having the window open the entire car journey, hoping that the fresh air will do you some good, you’re still on top form when Spencer pulls up to your apartment.

“I didn’t even give you my address,” you pouted, as you tried, unsuccessfully, to remove your seatbelt.

“I memorised your file, now let’s get you into bed,” he unclasps it for you, and you use the close proximity to drop a kiss on his cheek.

“Only if you get into bed with me, hot stuff,” you wink at him and make for the door. “You know, you’re going to remember everything I said in the morning, right?” You asked him.

“Unfortunately, yes,” he muttered under his breath as he caught you just as you were about to teeter into the hedge on the shared green space. You wrapped your arms around his neck for the second time that night and stopped him in his tracks. Looking deep into his eyes, you took one of your hands and traced it gently over the side of his face and down his neck, your eyes following your fingers. He gulped involuntarily when you hit his adams apple, and you snapped your eyes back to him.

“Chances are that I’m probably not going to remember any of this, right?” You smiled up at him.

“Alcohol induced memory blackouts tend to occur in binge-drinkers whose alcohol levels have hit at least 0.16%, and further studies show that 50% of adults will experience some kind of alcohol-related memory loss in their lives, so yes, I’d say you’re probably not going to remember any of this.” He shot back, almost entirely still in anticipation of your next move.

“Good, then I might as well enjoy the moment while it lasts right.” As soon as the words were out of your mouth, your lips crashed into his, and after a beat, his reciprocated, moving over yours just as hungrily. He moved now, walking you back to your door, lips still locked in a ferocious battle for dominance, until he pinched your arm slightly. You gasped a little, ready to pull back and complain about the pain, but suddenly his tongue was in your mouth and you were back at it all over again. He tapped your legs, signalling that he wanted you to jump into his arms, and you did, wrapping your legs around his centre tightly as he finished making his way to your apartment door.

Pulling away for the briefest of moments, he pulled your keys from your back pocket, and made quick work of your door.

“Bedroom, now Spencer, please I need you,” you whimpered in his arms, pressing kisses against his jaw and neck. Unfortunately, he had other ideas.

“No. We are going to the bathroom, where you’re going to wash your makeup off, brush your teeth and change your clothes, and then you are going to get in bed and sleep.” He unceremoniously dropped you at the door of your bathroom, and you slid to the ground.

Pouting up at him, you felt the tears well in your eyes.

“No! I don’t want to go to bed yet,” you sounded like a petulant child and Spencer cursed a little under his breath when he looked down at you.

“Y/N listen to me very clearly, you’re not thinking straight. You’re way past the legal limit, you can’t consent to any of this and I’m not going to sleep with you and then have you forget it in twelve hours.” His tone was harsh, but you listened to him.

Picking yourself up off the floor, you followed his instructions and got yourself ready for bed.

“Okay, I’m all done now, Doctor,” you grumbled once you were done. You half expected him to have left you there, choosing to retreat whilst you cleaned yourself up, knowing that he’d already done what was asked of him by getting you home. But he was still there perched on your bed, and you made one last attempt to get what you wanted.

As he made his way to stand up, you used the last of your strength to push him back down again and climbed into his lap. This time though, you made no attempt to take anything further, just wrapping your arms and legs around him and burrowing into his shoulder. You had to admit, you were getting particularly sleepy now.

You let out a small yawn and burrowed further into his neck just as he opened his mouth.

“Y/N, please, what are you doing?” He sounded tired now, but didn’t attempt to push you off again.

“You said I was probably not going to remember this in the morning. That’s not going to fly with me. So you’re gonna sleep here with me and tell me everything I forgot in the morning.” You informed him.

He scoffed at you, but you could hear the smile in his voice when he replied.

“So you want me to just sleep here next to you? No pushing you against a wall? No panties in your mouth?”

“Nope. Like you said, ‘s getting pretty late and it’s been a long week, so it's probably for the best if we…” You tried to finish but your tongue was so heavy in your mouth that you just couldn’t use it anymore. You felt the warm rumble of his answering laugh of disbelief as he manoeuvred the two of you under the covers, taking the time to kick off his shoes and remove his coat and shirt.

“Sleep well, Y/N, because when you wake up I’m going to make you feel all of the torment you’ve put me through tonight tenfold.”

And he held you there against his chest as both of you fell deeper and deeper into your slumber.

PART TWO

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid smut #mgg #criminal minds fanfiction #maturereiding #reiderrecommends #criminal minds fandom #mature reading #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x self insert #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x oc #dr spencer reid #spencer reid drabble #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fandom #spencer reid imagine #Is it clear from this that I'm insane or am I not trying hard enough? #At this point send help

[salaciousdoll]

Treat Me Like a Slut

━━ ༉⁩༊⁩ Pairings: Yuushi Totsumoto from lady k and the sick man and Toji Fushiguro from JJK x Shy!fem! Reader( crossover)

━━ ༉⁩༊⁩ Encapsulation: being shy can either lead you to a good time or bad time, you choose today

━━ ༉⁩༊⁩ Warnings: smut, double penetration in one hole, pussy eating, cunnilings, cum eating/drinking, pet names( doll, baby doll, princess, etc.), degradation and praising, competitive fuck, their personalities gonna switch on this one, oral( m/ f ), breeding kink, choking, impact play( a little), voyeurism, riding, throat fucking, squirting, talks about being shy and having anxiety( not explicit tho), two guess appearances, two dollars if y’all get it

━━ ༉⁩༊⁩ Word Count: 5.8k

18+ Fairies Allowed Only

Shyness is something every other person has had, including you. Shyness either comes from anxiety or trauma and this is all based on your perspective of it. You have been shy your entire life to the point where you couldn’t make friends properly, couldn’t even get a boyfriend without a push of a shoulder from your best friend you magically got the chance to have. Opposites attract you guessed because your best friend was the complete opposite of shy.

Enough about her, let’s talk about how because of isolation in your life can lead to shyness too, whether it’s from your mother or father being overprotective and forbidding you from making friends or going over your best friend’s house or because of what happened to you in the past—-you still don’t know how to perform full conversations with people you just met even in adult years.

So when you have two hot neighbors who are complete opposites, what do you do? They both moved in one after the other, exactly one week stretch if you’re really talking. It’s like it was planned but who knows. You watched both move in from your front window, making sure to hide yourself really well in case you get caught and have to introduce yourself prior to the time and setting you rehearsed in your head.

After they moved in, nonstop noises were heard and you hated how you couldn’t speak up— asking them both to stop. It’s been 6 months, so If their walls could talk, they would tell so many tales—nasty ones for the most part. You found out that one of the guys was named Toji and he’s to the left of your apartment building. You only found out because of the girls screaming his name in the mornings and at night, sounding like she was in love with the man. Finding out that the name to the right of you is Yuushi was hard due to you not talking to him, luckily because the man with dark shallow eyes and beautiful long black hair called out his name while passing by your apartment after coming from Toji’s apartment; you managed to get his name. You watched as Toji and another man with long black hair with his face supporting a scar followed after the first man with long black hair. You guessed they were a group of friends from what you saw.

That night was an unforgettable night, especially when they all walked past your apartment again, this time going into Toji's apartment. It was now 1:35 in the morning when nothing but the banging of Toji’s bed hitting the wall with no regards to how much his neighbors could hear was heard loud and clear. He wasn’t even the only groans and moans you could hear, there were four other moans and groans you could hear. You put your left hand on the wall his bed was hitting while your right hand held the vibrator on your dripping pussy as you tried so hard to suppress your moans.

You felt shameless and dirty yet you couldn’t help but to masturbate whenever you hear either of your neighbors fucking. Toji had multiple women coming in but Yuushi must have one girl since you never saw him with women like that— only hearing the moans he pulled out of her at night. Her as in the girl you never saw at all. She was loud at night, probably because of how hard he was fucking her. Somehow, you knew it was one girl because her voice wasn’t different every time he fucked. You expected that from Toji’s girls, not Yuushi‘s girl. You once made an assumption that maybe it was a robot he possibly built for his pent up frustrations, only scratching the thought when you overheard him speaking to the girl like she was human, a slut of a human.

“ Atta girl,, such a pretty little slut letting me and the guys take turns with your sweet little hole, where did you even find her at Toji, fuck!.”, Yuushi rasped out to the woman they managed to fuck. You wanted to be her so bad especially when you didn’t hear a reply from her, only her moans. You wanted to be fucked out of your mind, to the point where you couldn’t think and only seen mushy things clouding your mind and vision. You envied her and wanted to be in her spot, so bad. Real bad. You heard one of the men's deep voices groaning out the woman’s name, automatically making your knees buckle.

Your pretty eyes rolled to the back of your head from the images you had playing in your head from what they were doing to the woman. You wished it was you they were pulling screams from, you wished it was you they were smacking and manhandling, you wished it was you that was begging to cum, wished it was you that was being degraded and praised. You envisioned yourself as the woman and that was the push you needed as loud moans escaped from your mouth— you quickly covered your mouth, muffling your moans while your pussy gushed out clear liquid all over your porcelain wooden tiles. The good part is that you learned that your pussy could squirt, the bad part is that you didn’t notice the banging had stopped, almost like it stopped when you squirted on the floor. Nevertheless, you cleaned yourself up and carried yourself to bed, having a goodnight sleep.

The next day, you got up early to do your daily routine, which was just your hygiene treatment and you taking care of yourself like you always do. Your best friend called you throughout the day to tell you about her life and to ask you about your life, only to complain as you told her you were doing the ordinary. You couldn’t tell her that you had a fear of stepping outside of your apartment in action of running into either of those men from last night. She’ll just ask to leave early to get you out of your apartment.

It was now 7 pm in the evening when you were sitting on the couch watching your favorite television show. You couldn’t understand yourselves sometimes because you are in Japan and yet you can’t communicate with anyone. You knew some of the language they spoke, the basics so communicating the language wasn’t hard, it was communicating with people that was hard. Plus, Japan is beautiful and has many cool activities where you could meet new people, but you’re too damn shy. It’s a fucking curs— your thoughts were interrupted by the knocking of your door.

You were a little shaken up because of how erupt it was, nevertheless you had to answer the door. You rehearsed what you were going to say when you opened the door in your head while moving to the door. Hoping not to stutter or fumble words you were planning on saying. Slowly opening the door, you came face to face with the two men you were avoiding out of the four of them. Your two insatiable neighbors, Yuushi and Toji. Yuushi was leaning his shoulder on the ledge of your door while Toji was against the railing behind him with his arms folded and a smirk across his face.

You were too busy thinking that you didn’t hear what Yuushi said to you, so you snapped your eyes open and close to pull yourself back into reality, “ um, I’m sorry I didn’t catch what you said, sir.” You wanted to punch the fuck out of yourself from using sir but it’s a habit. You respected people that were older than you so you had no choice.

His deep voice vibrated from the chuckle he let out from your polite nature, “ I said my name is Yuushi, Yuushi Totsumoto and behind me is Toji Fushiguro, it’s our pleasure to be able to meet you, pretty girl.” You almost combust right then and there because he called you pretty girl. That nickname was always gonna have an imprint on you. Even if you try to deny it, it’s still gonna make your knees buckle.

They watched as you looked down to play with your bracelets aggressively prior to looking up at them while still playing with your bracelets in the habit of taming your anxiety. Toji tapped Yuushi’s shoulder when he noticed you doing that before walking on the side of him, “ Can we come inside? I mean to get to know you of course. You’re the neighbor we didn’t get to introduce ourselves to when we first moved in, so do you mind if we get to know who’s the neighbor to both of us? Hmm?”

You stared at the both of them, moving your eyes up and down, left to right taking them in. They were both wearing black joggers, just Toji had a tight fit black shirt on while Yuushi had on a black crew neck sweatshirt. You could practically see Toji chest poking out the shirt almost trying to break free for air. You suddenly looked into their eyes and caught eyesight with Toji green eyes first, later looking into Yuushi's sunken black eyes.

You timidly moved to the side, letting both men in. Closing the door, you watched as they looked around your small apartment, “ For a small apartment, you outdid yourself with the decor. Pretty just like you.” Yuushi looked back at you at the end of his sentence with intensity in his dark eyes, you ignored it since you didn’t want to be trapped in his heavy gaze.

“ Would you two like something to drink?”, You were heading to the kitchen to distract yourself from the embarrassment of saying the wrong thing. Your living room was in clear view from the kitchen so you felt their eyes roaming over you as you looked through your fridge for your options of drinks.

“ Got any beer? Corona or bud light, doesn’t really matter?”, Toji says, tapping his hand on the top of the Couch he was sitting on. Toji must’ve thought you were a woman that keeps beer stored, but your best friend hasn't visited that much— she was the one who brought the beers and stored them in the fridge for her.

You cleared your throat to fix your parched throat, “ um, I.. don’t really have any beer, I just have water and juice.”

Toji chuckled, getting up from the couch to walk in front of you, “ Ease up, doll. We don’t really want beer, I'll take water. Yo, yuushi, what do you want?”

You noticed that he never took his eyes off of yours when he asked the other man what he wanted. It was like he was daring you to break eye contact and you feared if you did, something was going to happen to you without a doubt. That’s how scary and intriguing he appeared to you. You finally managed to break eye contact when Yuushi came next to him, both now leaning against your sink while you stood in front of your open fridge, “ I’ll take a water too, darling. It’ll definitely quench the thirst I have for something or someone else right now, wouldn’t you agree?”

You so badly wanted to crawl into the fridge—closing the door just to stay there until they left, but you couldn’t and you hated it because now the tip of your ears were burning up and so was your face. You felt so much smaller than your actual build and that says everything you need to know about these men: dangerous and sexy, way too much for you to handle. You knew that and they knew that too that’s why they were enjoying teasing you, hopefully they’ll get to do it until you break and want more. After all, the goal was clear for both of them here.

You didn’t say anything, just nodded your head— almost like you were controlled to agree with him. It’s like you couldn’t find your voice or thoughts.

You turned to grab three waters— closing the refrigerator with your feet— and when you turned around, Toji was right there in your face with a beautiful smirk on his pretty face. Yuushi grabbed the water bottles out of your hands and you wanted to interrupt him to tell him about how he took your water too, granted Toji laced his hands on the side of your hips ahead of picking you up. A loud gasp in shock left your moisturized lips as your instincts caused you to wrap your arms around his neck and your legs around his slim waist. You were surprised that he picked you up despite how much you weighed, it’s like he didn’t care and you liked it.

Toji slowly brought his forehead against yours, “ Say the word and we’ll give you everything you’ve been desiring since we moved in next to you.”

Your eyes widened before hearing a laugh erupt from the side of you, “ Come on, pretty one, did you think we couldn’t hear the sound of your vibrator going every other night or the sounds of your moans, let us be your fantasy and reality just say it? Say it with the fucking confidence I know you can have or you’re not getting shit form either of us.” Yuushi was staring intensely in your eyes as he gripped your face in between his long, thick fingers.

He almost wanted to melt from how pretty your cheeks looked squished together under his touch. He wanted you to have confidence prior to them fucking the shyness away from you and he was going to get it, no matter how many nights he have to spend with you to get rid of it. He’s been wanting you ever since he saw you one time while you came home from work, that’s the only other time he and Toji saw you. When you go to and from work; the other time is when your lousy best friend comes to take you away from your pretty dungeon. His words not yours, of course.

You could feel your hands getting sweaty due to your anxiety rising, you were nervous and found it hard to speak. Both of their gazes on you weren’t helping either. So, you suddenly remembered your best friend's words about speaking up and spoke in a quiet voice, “ Please become my fantasy and reality,Yuushi and Toji.”

They smirked at you, looking over at each other after. When they looked back at you, Toji was the one to talk, “ I think that was quite clear, don’t cha’ think? She’s shy so it’s obvious she isn’t gonna speak loud, so we’re gonna have to make her loud. Isn’t that what you want, princess.”

You nodded your head, giving Toji the access to plant his soft lips on yours. Some may say you are foolish for mistaking the kiss for passion, but you couldn’t care less for right now. You liked the feeling of his lips on yours while he walked back into your room, laying you on your bed. His lips on yours felt like you were kissing a toasted marshmallow, so soft and warm . The movement of your two heads were moving in opposite directions, making the kiss deepened. Small whimpers erupted from your lips. Toji almost wanted to smile in joy at finally hearing your small little whimpers, he was glad you gave him access to your mouth even more.

Your tongue collided into each other, gliding sensually over one another in pure heat. Your saliva mixed with his tasted so good right now, maybe it was the heat of the moment; maybe it wasn’t, “ Mm Toji, I can’t wait any longer please touch me.”

Toji slid his big veiny hands down your body, sliding down any type of pajamas you had on. You helped him a little bit by lifting your body up and then kicking them off your legs whilst spreading your legs open to give him more access. You completely forgot about Yuushi until he broke you out of your kiss with Toji by snatching your face towards him, “ It’s obvious that you have a favorite here already, I was beginning to feel left out, so what are you gonna do to make it up to me princess?” You so badly wanted to hide behind your hands from the way his eyes penetrated your soul, he was almost looking at you like you were nothing but something he could squash in his hands no matter what size you were. It was so sad for you to think about how you would want him to squash you like a bug. You wanted his degrading treatment so badly and you were going to get it.

Toji chuckled while going down on his knees in front of your soaked cotton panties, you only wore lace panties when going out. Cotton panties were for the house and lace panties were for outside. He only chuckled when seeing them because he’s never fucked a woman who wore these kind of panties, only two of the women he had wore Cotten panties. The outline of your pussy was clear and known to him though. He loved every moment of it especially when he breathed in your pussy scent, leading you to try to cover your face with your hands, but Yuushi caught both of them with his own hands, “ No, you don’t get to hide behind those pretty hands of yours, pay attention to Toji while I use your pretty hands for my own pleasure, it’s the least you could do at the pre-game, yeah?”

You gasp when you feel the front of his sweatpants, feeling how hard he was. The length was the only thing you could think about and it almost made you drool if Toji wasn’t distracting you by placing kitten licks on your pussy while one of his hands pulled your panties to the side. He was glad he finally got your attention, now he can feast properly. Toji stopped his small kitten licks to your tasty pussy prior to him locking his hands around the fabric pulling them to the floor, bringing them into his sweatpants for later.

“ Fuck, baby, this pussy s’ so pretty, I could never get tired of staring at it and from the sample taste I got of this sweet little pussy, I would say I could never get tired of eating it, now pay close attention to me and only me. Take your eyes off and Yuushi is gonna be the one you’d get down here.”, Toji says, sucking the swollen clit into his mouth. Your body reaction to his sucking of your clit made the men laugh. Your legs were shaking and he hadn't even started eating your pussy like he knew he was supposed to.

Toji green eyes were captured with your pretty eyes as a ruff voice whispered in your ear, “ You better not take your eyes off him because of what you do, nothing but edging is what you’re gonna feel if I eat your pussy so fuck up if you want to, darling.” Yuushi was a man whose words weren’t taken lightly and you could tell from his body language. Your eyes were almost taken off of Toji as your head went back in pleasure at the licking Toji was doing to your pussy. His tongue was running through your folds in a zigzag direction. Your squeals and moans were heard by both of them. Oh, how they loved hearing your sweet moans running through their ear drums like a melody of their favorite songs.

You wanted to roll your eyes to the back of your head when you felt a finger into your pussy. The thickness of his finger was enough to make you want to pull all of his fingers inside of your pussy out of greediness. You were screaming in your head at the way you had to keep your eyes on your green eyed neighbor whilst he was eating your lush like it was his last day on earth. His thick tongue was so good on your sensitive pussy causing your body to lift up and down.

Yuushi clapped his hands before pulling your hands to the hand of his sweatpants, “ Atta girl keep moving your body up and down, fuck his face. He loves when they do that to him, look at how low his eyes got because of you, shame. Now show me if the theory I got in my head is wrong or right by sucking me off, you can do that can’t you? Let’s see if you even know how to suck dick. If you do then my theory is correct, if you don’t, maybe I’ll reward you for proving me wrong? Don’t worry pretty girl, you can finally take your eyes off him, I want to see your eyes on me when I fuck your face.” You wanted to scream because what the hell was his theory and you wanted to scream from Toji tongue circling around your entire pussy, and he was surprisingly delicate with his tongue.

He was so mean to you, but you loved it too much to tell him off. One of them treated you so soft while the other one treated you like you were just the gum underneath his shoe. Oh, you were so fulfilling your fantasy and desires right now. Your eyes finally looked up at Yuushi and you almost came right then and there. His look was intense and made you want to cry. Your eyes traveled down his now bare but big chest and abs. You so badly wanted to lick his six pack but that’ll be for another time you supposed.

Your body jerked when Toji stuck two fingers inside of your warm, wet pussy, “ Ahh, fuck, to-Toji right there, mmghh.” You couldn’t finish what you wanted to say because Yuushi got impatient and pulled down his pants, turning your head to put his thick cock inside of your mouth, “ tired of your fucking mouth and you’re fucking horse play, it’s annoying. Now show me what that pretty mouth of yours can do before I bruise your throat.”

You eyed his body and saw that he had a happy trail going to the base of his dick, the small bush he was growing was attractive to you too for some odd reason, or it could be you just being hungry for his dick. Nevertheless, your mouth was latched into his dick already so you just bob your head up and down. You were sure you were going to have neck cramps from the way your neck was turned. You honestly didn’t care about that right now since yuushi had his head cocked back with his mouth wide open. You could hear his faint moans and knew you were doing your job right. You moaned on his cock, probing more moans from the rough man above you. Your hand stroked the part you couldn’t fit into your mouth, your spit lapped up on the part you could fit into your mouth making you proud of your dick sucking skills. Your other hand reached down onto Toji’s hair, tugging on it, you were kinda glad that your back was laying on the bed because you were gonna have back and neck pain.

The sounds of slurping and sucking could be heard from Toji and yourself. The sounds of you sucking on Yuushi’s cock was mystic and beautiful all at the same time. Your head bopped faster and Toji’s fingers and licking moved at a quick pace too. Your moans increased making Yuushi moans increase, “ Kuh, fuck, just like that butterfly, just like that. Good, you’re good at something other than pretending to be shy. Such a pity of you acting all shy just to -ughh fuck- get us in your bed. Shit! I think I’m gonna cum down this little fuck hole of a throat. You would like that wouldn’t you, my little slut.” He stopped you from sucking his cock by pulling your hair away from him. Taking off his sweatpants and undergarments completely leaving his body naked and exposed.

Meanwhile Toji was scissoring his fingers inside of your faster while sucking on your clit. You felt liquid pour out of your pussy, you were glad you squirted instead of peeing because that’s what it feels like to you. Toji sucked up all your juices while your body thrashed around wildly. You couldn’t scream in time because Yuushi already planted his knees beside your neck, placing his hard cock into your mouth, fucking at a fast pace from the start. Your gags and moans were filling the room right along with Toji overstimulating your pussy. Your legs felt like jelly as your throat felt full.

Yuushi's moans were so loud and audible, “ That’s it, fuckkkk!! Look at you getting all teary eyed while I fuck this slut of a throat of yours. You are so loving this, well aren't you a doll? A slutty one though, can’t let you forget that my pretty little whore.” His words and the tip of his dick piercing the back of your throat, hitting the uvula like it was nothing, made your eyes roll. If you combine that with Toji placing little kisses all around your pussy while repeating the words “ good girl” or “ my pretty doll” over and over again, you definitely got yourself a win.

Your thoughts and vision were so busy that you couldn’t see Yuushi’s expression as the warm white liquid dripped down your throat. His hips buckling were so satisfying to feel along with his balls hitting your chin as many times as his hips thrusted into your mouth, “ Shit! I’m cummin’ im cummin’ baby, fuck fuck fuck! Your mouth feels so damn good.”

Once he stopped coming down your throat, he slipped his dick out of your mouth before staggering off the bed and walking over to stand next to Toji. Toji got up off the ground to stand up next to Yuushi, fist bumping with him. They eyed your form as you were breathing hard with your eyes closed. They looked at each other prior to looking back at you, Toji speaking first, “ We’re the perfect balance for her. It’s obvious, she likes praise and degradation, so let’s really give her what she wants this time.”

You opened your eyes when you felt yourself being lifted, only to get placed back down on a naked and toned Yuushi smirking at you, “ You didn’t think we were done, now did ya’?” He clicked his tongue while shaking his head, “ How condescending of you? After all, what do I expect from a slut who likes to get her throat fucked.” You gasp when he enters your wet soaking pussy without any warning. You cried out from the impact of his cock stretching you out, “ Augh! I’m not— mmm, I ca-”

You felt Toji placing small kisses on your back or back rolls as Yuushi was ducking into you at a medium pace. Toji kisses found a way to ease your pussy up and Yuushi felt you letting him inside of you even more. Toji was now holding your waist as he kissed up to your ear before whispering into it, “ Now, relax yourself princess.” You laid your body down connecting your chest to Yuushi’s making the man groan from the way your pussy fluttered around him at the contact you two were having. Toji smiled, leaning down to bite your ear, “ Have you ever taken two dicks inside of one hole before? I was planning on using your little asshole, but it seems you’re a virgin there so we’ll wait to have that.”

You couldn’t even answer what he said because Yuushi pushed his head forward to suck on your nipples, instantly causing your head to be thrown back into Toji’s bare chest. You could only guess he got naked when you were first penetrated by Yuushi’s cock. So you did the only thing you could do, shake your head to his question.

Toji smiled at the news, moving his head for him to see you, “ You look so beautiful, allow me to make you feel good and better than he can. He’s rough with you but I’ll be delicate because that’s how women like you should always be treated, right?”

You moaned out your answer earning a slap on your chest from Yuushi, he didn’t like your answer at all, “ No, women like her should be treated like the sluts they want to be treated like. Watch and learn, Toji.”

Toji chuckled before tracing his dick on the opening of your pussy where Yuushi’s dick was ducking you at, “ No, you watch and learn, can’t believe I’m the one being soft when I’m usually the one who’s rough. That just shows how barbaric you are being right now.” Toji pulled your neck back making your face tilt towards his. Your back was arched perfectly and that gave him access to enter your pussy slowly, your pussy was soaked enough to allow him inside easily and he couldn’t be any more grateful. He felt your pussy clenching and unclenching against both of them, he also felt Yuushi’s dick against his and it surpassingly didn’t matter right now since they were both inside of you.

You felt like your pussy was tearing apart but it felt too good to stop them. You felt a tongue licking your face and opened your blurry eyes to see the outline of Toji, “ you look so pretty crying, baby. So fucking pretty and your tears taste so delicious, makes me want to see you cry even more.”

“ Now who’s the rough one?”, Yuushi asked, throwing his head back against the covers on your bed in complete awe over how warm and at home your pussy felt right now. He didn’t care about Toji’s dick brushing against yours or that he was fucking without a condom for the second time, he was sure that Toji felt the same way since he was without a condom too. Was it risky? Sure. Was it great? Yes.

You didn’t feel like doing anything, yet your body moved on its own. Your bounces were matching their thursts. They both were moving faster now. Skin slaps and moans were heard all throughout the room and apartment. You were sure your downstairs neighbors heard you three fucking like rabbits.

Yuushi latched his mouth on the corner of your neck sucking harshly on it and Toji was too busy watching the way his dick was going inside of your pussy. Everything looked so perfect. He wanted you so bad and he got you. Now there’s a price for you for making him and Yuushi wait.

“ Hah, fuck, it’s hurts so good and I think I’m gon-gonna cum, please. Please. Please. Oh!!”, you moaned loudly at how well they were treating your body. Your beaten pussy felt so good right now and you needed to cum so bad.

“ Come on sweetheart, last a few more seconds for me, I wanna be able to breed this little pussy of yours, can’t let you go without a thank you, would be very rude of me, wouldn’t it? My pretty fucking girl, aah fuck! Such a good fucking girl, see how I just praised you, don’t let me down by cumming too early.”, Toji moaned against your ear while panting harshly into your ear as well.

Yuushi circled his hips into yours making his dick twist inside of you in the same motion, he was doing it on purpose in Order to get Toji to punish you for coming too early. He wanted Toji to be rough with you like he is. He was honestly surprised at his own behavior today because he was never this rough but something about you, your tainted innocence, and your shyness gets him going. He just wished he was the one that took your virginity and corrupted you first. Funny that Toji thought the same thing.

“ Fucking hell!, squeeze around me like that one more time and I’m cumming inside of this pretty little cunt of yours, gonna make you my personal whore after that. You want that, hmm doll?”, Yuushi says, grabbing your head with both of his hands. He looked into your eyes, watching you try to let out words but they were incoherent words instead. He knew you were fucked out and mind fucked right now, he could see it too from the way your eyes rolled. He honestly didn’t blame you because both him and Toji were moving fast. When Toji move inside, he moved out. Only different movements there were was from the motion of their hips going in circles or another motion.

“ You should see the determined look on her right now, Toji. It’s honestly cute of her trying not to cum even when she’s already fucked out. I wanna make her my personal cum whore.”, Yuushi says before enveloping your lips onto his mouth in a sloppy kiss.

“ How precious this perfect little Angel, wish I could’ve seen it. Ughh! Shit! Now I’m gonna cum into this pussy of ours. Holy fuck!”, Toji yells out as his head tilted back and his cum leaked into your pussy. His rough pace made him cum at the same time as you and he felt on top of the world right now.

“ aah, it feels so gooddd, M’cummin, cummin so much, mmmmgh!”, you moaned before your body went limp as your push squeezed around both of them. Your cum slipped out of your pussy and onto Yuushi dick whilst more was going inside of you. You felt too full.

Yuushi harshly bit your bottom lip, creating blood as he did three final thrust inside of your pussy letting his cum spurt inside of you. They both were being drained by your pussy and loved it. Yuushi moans were so breathy, “ Ahn, fuck yes. Best fucking slut right here. Hah, Hah, shit!” His moans were turning faint as the cum from his dick slowly stopped leaking.

They both pulled out and laid there in a daze. Toji tried not to put too much of his weight on you, but he was shaking too much so he plopped on you making you squeal. You three were too far gone and you all loved it at the moment.

Toji finally got a little bit of energy and rolled off the two of you, now laying on the side of you two with his eyes closed and sweat glands dripping down his hair and face.

You looked up at yuushi and already saw he was looking at you, so you tried to turn away yet he was faster, “ Come on, don’t go shy on me again. Just lay with us. Give me a kiss. Also, round two in about 30 mins’. Hope you two are ready.” You slowly leaned in to give him a kiss. Toji was too tired and speechless to say anything so he nodded his head, gulping down his spit afterwards. Your skin was soft like a plushie in his hands, so warm and comfortable to hold. When you two are alone, he’s going to treat you how Toji did but better, meanwhile Toji is gonna do the opposite of the treatment he did with you today when you two are alone.

They were pretty difficult to understand but at least they were going to fulfill your fantasy and desires, whilst making them reality for you.

━━ ༉���༊⁩ Tagging: @dejwrites @eiflawriting @happygoluckyalexis @bontens-angel @simpingfor-wakasa @mastermindenoshimaalicia and anyone else who wants to be included…

#lady k and the sick man #lady k and the sick man smut #yuushi totsumoto smut #yuushi totsumoto x reader #toji fushiguro smut #toji fushiguro x reader #jjk smut #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen smut #chubby reader #x black reader #black reader #fem reader #crossover #anime smut #anime x black!reader #anime x reader #anime men x reader #anime men

[ukrfeminism]

We’ve been chatting for about half an hour when Eloise lowers her voice to a whisper. Until now she’s been confidently talking through the ups and downs of being a 19-year-old woman in a world she finds unsteady. 

She’s annoyed that, on TikTok, the advertisements she gets are keyrings with rape alarms and “stabby kitties” (a cat-shaped metal keychain with pointed ears sharp enough to cause damage), feels that modern feminism sometimes goes a bit too far, but having grown up in the age of nudes, she doesn’t really trust men. Which is unsurprising considering the story she tells me next.

“So a boy I know was asking a girl at his school for nudes,” she says, quietly. “And then when she refused, he threatened to rape her.” The boy was 14 and had recently posted an Andrew Tate video to his Instagram page, which was Eloise’s first encounter with the online influencer. 

“It said stuff like how women are your property and that it doesn’t matter if women say they’ve been sexually assaulted; if you’re with them that’s your right. I didn’t like it,” she adds.

Tate has made several appearances in the headlines this week. On Tuesday, a Romanian court rejected his appeal to ease the ban on him leaving the country as a legal case against him – in which he’s charged with human trafficking, rape and forming a criminal gang to sexually exploit women – continues. He denies all charges against him. The following day, Ipsos polling for King’s College London’s Policy Institute and the Global Institute for Women’s Leadership found that one in five men aged 16-29 who have heard of Andrew Tate have a positive view of him.

Separately – or, arguably, perhaps not – another survey published in the same week underpinned a renewed focus on the attitudes and beliefs of Generation Z, this time from the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS). The research asked just over 3,000 adults of varying ages – 50.6 per cent of whom were female – about their understanding of rape and serious sexual offences, and the law on consent, and drew troubling conclusions.

Overall, 74 per cent of people surveyed understood that it can still be rape if a victim doesn’t resist or fight back, but the number fell to just over half (53 per cent) of 18-24-year-olds who had the same understanding. Less than half of respondents from this age group recognised that victims might not report a sexual offence to police immediately, that being in a relationship or marriage doesn’t mean consent can be assumed, or that if a man has been drinking or taking drugs, he’s still responsible if he rapes someone. More than 70 per cent of over-65s recognised that even if no physical force is involved a person might not be free or able to consent to sex, compared to just 40 per cent of young people.

Previous generations have become used to hearing that rape myths and misconceptions continue to persist, but that’s precisely why this week’s grim trinity of headlines stings. “There tends to be a public assumption that things are generally always getting better,” says author and feminist campaigner Laura Bates. “Actually, views like these are incredibly widespread among young people.” 

Bates regularly works with schools, talking to pupils who often tell her that “rape is a compliment”, that “it’s not rape if she likes it” or, “it’s your boyfriend, you have to have sex with him”.

She adds: “Attitude surveys have to be taken seriously because they are a real red flag that we’re going backwards – we’re seeing much more extreme and concerning misogynistic attitudes among the youngest generations than we are among the oldest. We have to face up to that and ask, why is that happening?”

Gen Z has never been neatly contained. Growing up as the first digital natives in the chokehold of crisis – climate, Covid, cost of living – has seen them praised for their social awareness, but disenfranchised and forgotten by politics. Their extremely online nature has given them unprecedented access to the world and other people – but, of course, that’s a double-edged sword.

“The internet has made everyone’s voices louder, but that means the most misogynistic people in the world are heard more too,” says Niya Clement-Hickson, a 26-year-old marketing designer from London. He says his generation has been “kind of ruined” by social media.

“You’d be surprised at just how many people around my age will argue that Andrew Tate is not as bad as he seems.”

When I spend an hour talking to 16-year-old Tate fan Manus from Ohio on TikTok, he says exactly that. He’s relatively timid and seems unsure of what he thinks at times, but came across Tate aged 12, being drawn to his motivational speeches, humour, and attitude towards making money. “[Tate] kinda showed me how people really are in reality,” he says. On Tate’s assertions that women are the property of men, he says those beliefs are simply from the Bible (though Manus himself is Muslim).

He maintains he’s never seen Tate speak violently about women, and when I send him leaked voicenote recordings of Tate saying that he enjoyed raping a woman, Manus is certain it’s fake “probably to make him look bad”. I ask for his views on feminism and he responds that feminists now want “superiority” and “more rights”. What rights exactly? “More rights in general,” he says, vaguely.

This opinion is not a rarity – there’s a pervasive idea circling comments sections and pub corners that the pendulum has “swung too far”. “Some of us warned that when you continue to suppress their identity by telling young boys that they are inherently toxic, they’ll start acting irrational,” one comment under an Andrew Tate post this week read. But it’s not just boys who hold this idea. Early last year, a survey from Ipsos UK and the Global Institute for Women’s Leadership at King’s College London echoed this and some of Eloise’s views that feminism has gone too far. They found that 52 per cent of Gen Z and 53 per cent of millennials believe that we’re now discriminating against men. Less than half of Gen Z respondents said they defined themselves as a feminist.

Was it coincidence then, to see that shortly after the research was published in March 2023, the year of the girl was in full swing? A persistently pink summer was punctuated with girl dinners, #tradwives – modern women who believe in traditional gender roles – and stay-at-home girlfriends sharing their daily rituals on news feeds. New York magazine’s The Cut declared it “Woman in Retrograde” as the year came to a close; a cluster of reactionary elements to a significant demise of mainstream feminism.

This shift back to traditional behaviours is also present in younger men, says Niya. “A lot of guys feel that their role is all about providing money, being a protector. But they feel they deserve to get something out of the interaction. They just can’t deal with being told no.”

In terms of consent, does he hear attitudes that put women in danger? “Absolutely,” he replies. Niya didn’t learn about consent in school – “I don’t think it was ever talked about beyond ‘don’t have sex until you’re old enough’” – and thinks this is quite common for men of his age. For Maya, who’s 24 and neurodivergent, the line of consent is difficult to pinpoint and somewhat shaped by social media. There’s a “disconnect” from what she really wants – and is able to articulate – in the moment.

“I think that we do have less and less sex and more and more porn,” Niya adds. “And I think that once porn is your main and in some cases, only engagement with sex and women, then that is going to completely screw up how you see sex.”

Do all roads lead to porn? Probably. Clare McGlynn, who is a professor of law with particular expertise in sexual violence and online abuse, says: “We know that algorithms promote more extreme content, more hate – and many, many younger people, men and women, are getting this. Millions of people, as we speak, are watching mainstream online pornography that is racist, sexist, misogynist and violent in its content. Of course, it’s shaping attitudes and lives.”

“There’s certainly a pressure on young boys and men, for example, to be taking and sharing nudes – they’re part of a culture that is encouraging them to,” McGlynn explains. During a study, she looked at what material was presented on the homepage of popular sites – she found landing pages which were filled with sexually violent material. “So it’s also not them even actively choosing that material; we’re part of a culture that is grooming young men, teaching them expectations around sex – and asking them to accept and normalise it.”

What appears clear from the survey conducted by the CPS is a dangerous lack of understanding of what constitutes a crime. “I do lectures on criminal law and I’ve had students come up to me afterwards and say that they didn’t know they had been sexually assaulted or raped,” McGlynn adds.

Laura Bates says that we’re in the midst of a “crisis of sexual violence among young people”. 

“Deeply misogynistic misinformation is being spread to young people online at a rate that most people just have absolutely no idea about,” she says. “And there is a massive knock-on effect.

“Some will look at these surveys and go, well, what does attitude matter? But you have to draw a connection between these really worrying attitudes about rape and the fact that nearly 80 per cent of young people told Ofsted inspectors recently that sexual assault is normal and common in their friendship groups.”

So what can be done? More responsibility and accountability from social media companies, says Bates. Tate’s content – some of which reportedly shows him attempting to beat a woman with a belt; she later hides behind a locked door – has been viewed more than 11 billion times on TikTok, she says, adding: “That’s more than the population of the planet.” Last year, advocacy group HOPE found that more 16-17-year-old boys had watched Tate’s content than had heard of Rishi Sunak. “I think it’s really important that the government supports high quality, age-appropriate sex and relationships education,” she adds. 

Actively listening to and engaging with boys – as seen in initiatives like the state of New York’s Starting the Conversation campaign – is also important. Boys must have a safe and judgement-free environment to express themselves: the more their experiences of rape culture are internalised, the more difficult they are to see.

The Online Safety Bill, which was enacted in October last year, she says, was a missed opportunity for change. While it asks for more transparency on social media platforms and imposes sanctions for those not following the act, along with criminalising cyberflashing and sending unsolicited nude images, “it went 250 pages without mentioning women and girls once, until campaigners changed that”, Bates says.

“It’s so much more effective to focus on prevention of radicalisation than trying to unpick it once it’s happened,” she says. “Young people really are prepared to listen and prepared to change their minds, it’s just a shame this isn’t happening in every school.”

“It does make me worried about how safe the world is going to be,” says Eloise, who will begin her twenties in the summer. “What if people really start thinking that women are property again?” Then, she’s quiet again. “I really hope it can change.”

#Articles #community #MVAWG

[snowsonlylove]

Partition (Inspired by Beyonce & Ana Huang)

Pairing: President!Coriolanus Snow x Wife!Reader

Summary: Frustrated from her arranged husband’s lack of attention towards her, Y/N Y/L/N bursts in a plathora of words spewed to her arranged husband and elected President of Panem, Coriolanus Snow about his lack of care and affection towards his own wife despite Coriolanus literally being married to Y/N. Both parties being frustrated with no means to give their stances up, explode in a world of dirty, nasty sex in their limo on the way to former president’s son Felix Ravinstill’s dinner. 

Fic Type: Smut (NSFW) 18+ with angst, Arranged Marriage trope

Warnings: infidelity, cum licking, heavy kiss, degrading but also lots of praise, lmk if there’s anything I missed but this is vvv nasty 

Word Count: 2.6k

Inspo: Heavily inspired by Chapter 27 of King of Wrath by Ana Huang (my FAVORITE book of all time) from the Kings of Sin Series and the song Partition by Beyonce (an absolute GEM of a song). 

Disclaimer: About 90% of the sex scenes are directly from said chapter, so credits and the idea itself all go to Ana Huang and her team. The blowjob and first sex scene was from Ana Huang’s book and the last scene was a slightly altered version from me. This is basically an altered version of Ana Huang’s book idea turned into a version for Coriolanus and Y/N if they were in an arranged marriage. 

I do not own Coriolanus Snow or Y/N Y/L/N (cuz it’s you, boo). All credits go to Suzanne Collins and her team. Song credits also go to Beyonce and her team. 

I do not allow my works to be republished or translated under any circumstances. Any instances of this happening and YOU WILL BE BLOCKEDDD. 

Also, ageless and empty blogs will be BLOCKED as this is a 18+ fic. Report my fics and you’re blocked cuz if u don’t like it, LEAVEEEE.

Y/D/N = Your Dad’s Name (so sorry to anyone with daddy issues cuz me too)

The marriage of Y/N Y/L/N and Coriolanus Snow was not one born out of love. Their fathers, Y/D/N Y/L/N and Crassus Snow planned for their union before fighting in the war to strengthen and unite the families in a pursuit for higher power. Both Y/N and Coriolanus grew up around similar environments, both being in the same friend group, meeting each other in birthday parties, visiting each other’s penthouses for playdates and as of late, running into each other in the Academy as they receive their degrees during graduation.

Now that both Y/N and Coriolanus are of marriage age, their fathers immediately drew up the arranged marriage with a contract, binding the two young adults for life, their families growing stronger as a result of their agreement. Coriolanus and Y/N have never disliked nor liked each other as they each had their own squad of people to hang out with, Y/N always being around Arachne Crane and Clemensia Dovecote while Coriolanus was closer with Felix Ravinstill and Festus Creed, to each their own being disgusted with the opposite sex in fear of cooties as that was common with young children, which was not a surprise in the way the two supposed love birds navigate their marriage in a meaningless way behind closed doors when it was the absolute opposite in public.

Y/N Y/L/N never felt that Coriolanus’s indifference was a severe one until he started to bring home mistresses not long after they’ve moved in during the late wave of his candidacy. He started to fuck his way through his female staff as Y/N was tortured with hearing the sound of his groans and the moaning of the women he summoned as a means to relieve his stress. Y/N was heartbroken as she felt that they had this mutual understanding that they would always be loyal to one another even through the circumstances of their relationship, Coriolanus clearly did not feel the same.

The couple usually kept their interactions minimal in their household as they live in seperate bedrooms, only to come down to eat dinner, choosing to have the rest of their meals seperate during the day. As Coriolanus’s relationship with these women grew to be more common, Y/N did not have the appetite to cater to Coriolanus’s ego further as she skipped her meals with him, instructing the staff to send her meals to her room instead as she laid on her large queen bed, heart breaking and face puffy with tears streaking down her face over his infidelity. Even though she did not exactly feel for him, she at least cared enough about him as a trusted partner throughout their arrangement. 

The atmosphere between the two grew more and more tense each day as Y/N sobbed behind closed doors, trying her best to muffle her cries as Coriolanus worked next door. Coriolanus, oblivious to his wife’s muffled crying, doesn’t notice her strange behavior until that night where Y/N left her bedroom door ajar and Coriolanus was finally able to see how hurt Y/N had been over his infidelity. Coriolanus was shocked to see for himself how miserable his wife had been over his actions, him originally choosing to bring in mistresses to encourage her to confront him. He moved away, however, ensure of what to do next as he left her alone.

The next day, one of Y/N’s female staff, particularly one of Coriolanus’s women, had informed Y/N of an event she needed to attend that day, former president’s son Felix Ravinstill’s dinner. With her puffy face, she nodded as she started to get ready. Y/N felt dejected as she got ready, feeling as if she was going through the motions as several maids filed in to help her with her makeup and dress. Y/N wore a sullen frown on her face as she stared into the distance of her reflection in the vanity, wondering how and why she agreed to this marriage in the first place. “I will get out of this place once and for all…” she thought as she started to navigate a plan to be free of the ruse of a marriage. 

Coriolanus waited for Y/N outside of their mansion as Y/N appeared, her eyes still puffy although covered with the power of makeup. He extended his arm as she took it with caution, both of them stepping in the limo silently. Once they got in, Y/N stared off to the window of the limo as they drove away from the mansion. Coriolanus, apprehensive over his wife’s indifference, suddenly speaks “You know, you could smile a little?” he said with a timid one of his own. Y/N’s mood suddenly darkened as she responded in an even more dejected and hoarse voice “How could I? Please, dear husband, demonstrate how I could smile when my only other partner in this joke of a marriage brings home other women and fucks them for me to hear.” 

Coriolanus, taken aback by how dejected his wife’s voice was, responded, “Well I’m sorry if you feel offended by my lack of attention towards you as of late. We were never exclusive in the first place, our fathers planned this for us.” Y/N looked incredulously at her husband, “Exclusive?! What part of an arranged marriage and a contract doesn’t speak not exclusive?! Are you joking right now, Coriolanus? Because if you are, no ones laughing.” Y/N sighed, “I though you were smarter than this, Snow. I truly never imagined that my presence dissatisfies you so much that you had to turn to other women to satify your needs.” Y/N said as her eyes started to tear up again. She felt so exasperated, “There’s no point in crying now.. He clearly doesn’t care about me.” She thought as Coriolanus examines her face.

Coriolanus felt horrible that his wife felt like this towards him. He truly did not mean to go this far, only planning to give her a little push. He turned towards his wife, and suddenly grabbed both of her hands in his own, stroking them in a delicate way, as someone would with a precious porcelain doll. “I’ve never hated you, wife. I merely wanted to give you a push in this arrangement since we both did not agree to this. I wanted to encourage you to be closer to me, but how could I when you seem so distant all the time?” Coriolanus sighed before continuing, “I’ve loved you ever since I met you, but I’ve never been.. brave enough to confess that to you.” 

Y/N was left astonished as she looked at Coriolanus, “Perhaps.. I’ve also fallen for you during our arrangement, yet I’ve been in denial of my own feelings for a while. I’ve always thought you were quiet handsome, husband.” Y/N said with a small smile of her own. Coriolanus looked at her, surprised by her confession, before Y/N suddenly pressed her lips to his in a rough, desperate kiss that had both of them clinging to each other for dear life. Coriolanus’s hands were soon entangled in her hair as Y/N clutched her hands on his blazer. Their mouths fought desperately against each other, teeth clashing and theirs tongues molding together like a perfect puzzle. 

Their heavy makeout session resumed as the limo came to a stop. Traffic in the Capitol was not uncommon, but at this pace, they might as well reach Felix Ravinstill’s mansion at a time where cows are able to fly. The couple broke off after a while, Coriolanus staring down at Y/N’s V-cut dress as she straddled him and kissed his jaw before rising to give him a deep kiss. As they broke off from their kiss, Y/N’s hand trailed down Coriolanus’s stomach as she made her way towards his groin.

Coriolanus groaned as Y/N’s hand lightly touched his aching erection. Y/N continued to kiss his neck as she freed his erection from his pants. His cock was huge and hard, dripping with pre-cum and begging to be touched. Y/N slid off of her seat down to her knees, where she started to lick around the head of his cock while gripping the base with both her hands, working towards kneading his huge, hard balls. 

As she gripped the base of his cock, she slid his dick down her throat until her mouth hit the point where her eyes watered. Her eyes started to tear up as Coriolanus stroked her head, encouraging her to go on. Even with her mouth engulfing his cock with desperate need, there was still a good two to three inches between her mouth and the base of his cock.

Coriolanus’s groans began to sound louder as Y/N tasted the salty sweetness of his pre-cum as she adjusted to a slow and steady pace. In and out. Slowly becoming faster, harder as she sucked and bobbed her head up and down his enormous length. 

Coriolanus’s hand gripped her hair as the limo went over a bump in the road, forcing his cock to go deeper down her throat. Y/N spluttered as her chokes and gurgles filled the car’s sex driven atmosphere as her noises fluttered with his groans perfectly, creating a sex induced symphony. 

“Fuck, Y/N.” Coriolanus groaned as Y/N looked up, her eyes blurry with tears from taking him so deep, “That feels so good.” Pride rushed through Y/N as she looked up to see Coriolanus’s face etched with pleasure.

As she looked up towards him, his eyes were closed as his head tipped back with pleasure, the column of his throat exposing one of the most sexy Adam’s apple she’s ever seen. His chest rose and fell with shallow breaths, his breathing shuddering as Y/N’s head bobbed up and down his dick faster. His hands buried in her hair as her tongue swept the underside of his cock.

She increased her pace, and just as she thought he was about to come, Coriolanus pulled her hair back and lifted her onto his lap as he crushed his mouth onto hers, their tongues clashing together in a never ending battle of sexual tension broken in a dam of hot, heavy sex. 

As their mouths dominated against each other, his arousal met hers as she ground against it, desperate for more. Harsh groans echoed from the both of them, each groan vibrating down each other’s spine in a sex-induced fuel. “You’re going to be the death of me,” Coriolanus heaved as his mouth trailed a line of passionate kisses down Y/N’s neck.

He clenched his teeth on the strap of her dress and he gently pulled it down, exposing her chest as he then raised her hips so he could push her underwear to the side. Y/N didn’t have time to catch her breath as Coriolanus was inside her, filling her to the brim with only one thrust.

Y/N only had a few seconds to adjust before Coriolanus gripped her hips and slammed her down again on his cock, hard, as he drove into her like a beast in heat, slamming in and out of her, up and down. Again and again, faster and harder, until her toes curled, her knuckles white from how hard she was holding him to stay steady as the pressure built inside her and neared its breaking point.

She clung to him, her head thrown back in ecstasy as she trembled while trying to match his rhythm. Y/N bounced up and down, grinding her clit against him on every stroke.

“Just like that,” Coriolanus growled harshly as his teeth grazed across Y/N’s nipple, his breath making her shudder as it created goosebumps on her skin. “Bounce on that dick like the good girl I know you are.”

A loud moan emerged from Y/N’s throat as Coriolanus’s mouth closed on her pebbled nipple and sucked. A huge slick of wetness gushed around them as their arousal dripped everywhere, around her thighs, his leg, and onto the seat of the limo.

“You’re making such a big mess, darling.” Coriolanus groaned while looking at his wife with a lovestruck smile, tugging at her nipple with his teeth after. “Should I make you clean it up, hmm? Have you lick your own cum off the seat like a desperate little whore while I fuck you from behind?”

The fucking happening between them could only be described as rough and depraved, the two exploring each other ravenously as the tension between them exploded into a passionate cocoon of chambered sex in the limo.

His words triggered something inside her as Y/N felt her orgasm hit her a second later with a fiery velocity, making her back arch the highest it could go and her mouth to fall open with a silent scream.

Y/N was trembling from her previous orgasm as she heard her husband let out a chuckle, the sound vibrating throughout her skin as he laid little kisses across her shoulder. “Here I thought you were so prim and proper when I first met you.”

She felt too euphoric to care as his words didn’t really register in her mind when he suddenly moved her into a different position. One second, she was on his lap, and the next, she was facing the seat as he put her on all fours and tugged her hair into a makeshift ponytail and pulled her hair so that her back collided with his chest.

They shared a passionate, fiery kiss as he started thrusting into her with slow movements, pulling away until almost all of him was out before thrusting every inch of his cock into her tight, wet pussy. As she was enjoying the pleasure he was giving him, he suddenly said with a hoarse voice, “Clean up your mess, Y/N.”

She wanted to say no, she truly did but something about that moment made her want to please her husband as she started licking the seat clean while he watched her with a heated glance. “Good girl, Y/N. Such a good girl.” He groaned as she finished licking before he started fucking her again, this time more rough, hard and simply brutal as he pushed his cock in and out of her extremely wet pussy.

The only sound heard around the vehicle was the loud sound of skin slapping as the smell of sweat and sex mixed together beautifully along with her moans and his ravenous groans. As she got closer and closer to her second orgasm, he reached around and pinched her clit as he muttered, “You wanna cum, darling? Show me what a good girl you are and cum hard for me.” 

Her moans were the loudest it’s ever been since he said that as her second orgasm hit her like a tidal wave as he loudly groaned while coming inside her sweet pussy.

Both Y/N and Coriolanus calmed down as they catched her breath, their faces close together as Coriolanus turned her back towards the seat and kissed her with all his might as they revelled in their love for each other. 

“I love you.”, Y/N said as she gazed up at her husband with a dazed but content expression. Coriolanus looked down at her while heaving a huge sigh, “I love you too, sweetheart. So much, I hope you know that.” He said as he closed the gap between them as the limo arrived near the Ravinstill residence. 

#husband!coriolanus snow #coriolanus snow #tbosas fanfiction #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #hunger games #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus snow arranged marriage smut #coriolanus snow arranged marriage angst #Spotify

[teyamsgrl]

i’m having neteyam brain rot again after like a couple months help me please

angry sex with adult neteyam is making me squeal

ANON I LOVE YOUR MIND ASK AND YOU GET IT 👏🏻

also thanks for being my first request 🫶🏻

make me forget ✧ neteyam

❗️MDNI ❗️

°˖➴ warnings: fem omatikaya reader, agedup!neteyam, dom!neteyam, kinda jealous/possessive!neteyam, ofc angry sex, spanking, sir kink, some hair pulling/choking, dirty talkkkkkkk - yawne: beloved, sevin: pretty

after adding the last bead, you tie off your braid and stand up to head out. tonight there was a special celebration with the entire clan, and you were super excited. you were extremely social and enjoyed gatherings. you were also the mate of neteyam sully, which you thought was the best thing about you. to sum it up, neteyam was your world. his mother had asked for his help earlier which is why you were headed to the celebration without your mate. even after all this time of knowing each other and being mates, your heart still fluttered knowing you would get to see him and kiss him in just minutes.

you arrive to the tree of souls and smile seeing all of your fellow omaticaya people dancing and talking. you scan the crowd, eyes landing on neteyam standing with kiri and lo’ak. you make your way over, slipping through the crowd of people. "yawne" he smiles, arms wrapping around your waist as he hugged you in tightly. you threw your arms around his neck, kissing his cheek. “hi teyam”. you look over to kiri and lo’ak fake gagging, causing you to giggle and pull away from the hug. "you skxawngs" neteyam says and shakes his head before he pecks your lips. "did you have a good day?" you nod and smile, pecking his lips again. "do you want a drink?" you ask, gesturing to the group of women pouring drinks for everyone and handing them out. "sure, thanks sevin" you smile and head over to the women, asking for two drinks.

"hey there" you turn to spot ät’uk, an omaticaya man who is known for his massive crush on you. neteyam absolutely despised him and honestly you were shocked he has not gotten the hint yet. you step back a bit to add more space between you two, "hey ät’uk". you grab the drinks and thank the women, going to walk back to neteyam before you feel a hand on your shoulder. "y/n, you look really pretty tonight" you have to hold back an eye roll, “thanks, but i have a boyfriend” you smile out of spite and go to turn again. “sure, but you’ve never even given me a chance" ; this time the eye roll happens. "yeah and i’m not going to. i am happy with neteyam and i have no interest in giving you a chance. you’re a nice guy but-" you are cut off by the feeling of a familiar hand on your hip. neteyam. "ät’uk.. are we going to have a problem here?" you lean into neteyam, thankful he has saved you from this uncomfortable and honestly repetitive conversation. "no, not at all" he takes a sip of his drink nervously. "good, but next time a woman tells you she has a boyfriend and isn’t into you, maybe leave her alone" he spits as his tail swishes rapidly, pulling you away. your heart is racing at neteyam’s words. it is not often you see him angry, but it was honestly kinda hot. oops.

you reach kiri and lo'ak and neteyam snatches the drinks from your hands, passing them to his siblings. "here, be safe" he nods at them before pulling you out of the crowd and in the direction of your shared tent. "what's going on?" you ask as he drags you along, his strides very long and fast. once you reach the tent he pulls you in, instantly pressing you against the wall. "neteyam what-" he cuts you off by kissing you deeply, tongue gracefully sliding into your mouth, you hum, dragging your hands down his toned chest and abs. his hands travel to your ass, death grip on the perfectly round cheeks. he moans softly as your hands glide to the waistband of his loincloth, tugging it gently to ask for permission. you were wrapped around his finger and submitted almost immediately, especially since you knew he was angry. he pulls away, hand moving to hold your neck. "no cock sucking tonight, sevin. i need your pussy and i need it fucking now".

he growls, hand moving down and yanking your top off, beads tumbling from it and bouncing on the floor. he licks his lips and pulls your loincloth off, gliding his middle finger through your wetness swiftly. "good. over the table, now" he gestures towards the table on the other side of your tent. "yes sir" you hum and move to the table, bending over and hoisting one leg up on the table, ass basically asking for a spank. neteyam saunters over to you, loincloth being dropped in the process. he hums, a hum you can tell means that he is satisfied by your obedience. his hand drags along your ass before coming down hard, causing you to whimper. "you are mine", he spanks you again. "that fucking skxawng will never have you. ever", and again. "you got it?" he spanks you once more, "yes sir.. i'm yours" you whine out. "mhm.. that's right" you feel his tip kissing your entrance, waiting patiently to push in. "i'm gonna fucking use you in a minute, you're gonna make me forget how fucking pissed off i am" he breathes, thrusting his cock fully into your begging pussy.

"o-oh" you gasp at the full feeling, hands moving to grab the edge of the table before your wrists are snatched up by neteyam's large hand. "uh-uh, you know better" he pulls your hands behind your back, holding them hostage there within his grasp. he moans as he starts to follow a pace, fucking you deeper than ever before. his tip grazes your cervix as you squeal, back arching at the jolt the touch sent through you. "fuck yes... you're my good girl, aren't you? tell me who you belong to. who is fucking you this good?" he continues pounding you like there's no tomorrow as he speaks, moans escaping his mouth. "you, sir. you own me.." you whimper, head raising from the table. "that's right... and i'm the only man who ever gets to take you like this" he brings his free hand to press your head down on the table, holding you down. you whine, lying on the table as your mate destroys your insides. you can barely think straight, you are so unbelievably turned on. he groans behind you, hand gripping your braids and yanking you up so your back is flush with his chest. you gasp, leaning into him as he never stops thrusting; he doesn't miss a beat. "fuck.." he moans into your ear, causing you to throw your head back onto his shoulder. "you're such a good girl..." he moans again, hand gripping your throat now. "sir! sir!" you whine, pussy tightening on his cock. "cum for me. do it. cum for me and show me who your fucking mate is" he tightens his grip on your throat slightly, your body beginning to shake as your orgasm rushes to it's peak. "fuck fuck fuck!" you scream, coating his cock in cum. he groans and picks up his pace, you still moaning in pure ecstasy despite cumming seconds ago. "you're gonna be so full baby, so fucking full of me" he does one last thrust before his cum spills into your pussy, his moans music to your ears. once he catches his breath, he lets go of your wrists and throat, turning you around and placing you to sit on the table.

"you good, sevin?" he kisses your forehead, brushing the braids out of your face. "of course, nete" you giggle and cup his face with your hands, admiring his features. "did i help you forget how mad you were?" he chuckles and nods, "definitely, thank you. i just couldn't take his shit anymore. and you looked unbelievable so i figured ravaging you was a good idea" he chuckles more and you giggle along with him. you run your thumb over his bottom lip, "you're extra hot when you're angry, makes me think i should get you angry more often honestly". he bites your thumb gently and smirks; "don't test me, baby"

#avatar #avatar 2009 #avatar fluff #avatar masterlist #avatar the way of water #avatar smut #jake sully #jake sully smut #jake sully x reader #lo'ak #lo'ak x reader #lo'ak smut #neteyam #neteyam x reader #neteyam smut #neteyam sully #lo'ak sully #avatar 2 #atwow #atwow smut #atwow fic #avatar fic #neteyam fic #jake sully fic #lo'ak fic

[acourtofswiftiesandshadowdaddies]

Misogyny

Young Adult!Nyx Archeron x Gwynriel!Daughter

Word Count: 1,264

Warnings: Misogyny (not nyx), swearing, suggestive, afab!reader, angst??

Summary: Azriel and Cassian get injured on a mission and have made the training of the two squads together. Nyx believes his boys can beat your girls. Your quick to put him in his place.

a/n: kinda inspired by prison for life by olivia rodrigo kinda not, nyx is an asshole but not in the kind of way where its toward women more like he thinks of them as equals and treats them as his boys.

"Dad? What do you mean I have to teach them with him?" I hiss. From the corner of my eye I can see Dad and Uncle Cass wince but my eyes are trained on Nyx. His usual smug smirk faltering by an inch. Twisting away from him my gaze zeroes in on Dad, who was holding an icepack to his head.

"She so got that glare from Gwyn," Uncle Cass mutters. My eyes flit from Dad for minute and switch to him "I. Am. Not. Teaching. My. Girls. With. His. Disgusting. Boys" I enunciate each word with a step toward Uncle Cassian, until I'm towering over him.

"Relax love, I'm sure the boys might be able to teach you girls something, other than getting used to losing," he comes up behind me until I can feel him breathing down on my neck. Spinning around I jab a finger into his rock hard chest. "One I'm not your love, two the only thing you'll be teaching us is how to make a guy land on his ass," I growl looking up at him. "Y/N-" I cut off my dad. "Don't start"

"Guys gather around," I say gesturing to the 10 or so girls waiting for the instruction to start sparring, "We have to train with the guys-" I got cut off by a simultaneous groan from all of them. "Don't worry guys, I completely understand you," I say sympathising with them.

"We're gonna do sparring one on one, boys vs girls." Just as the girls were about to nod. A group of rowdy boys enter the sparring center. Rolling my eyes, I head to Nyx, "Are you ready?".

"Ready to kick your asses?" A guy from the back says loudly. Ignoring him I gather them around, sighing when I see a clear line in between the two groups. "Are you always this bossy, even in bed?" Nyx says lowly. "Why you wanna find out?" I ask smirking, two can play this game.

"We're gonna be doing one on one sparring, boys vs girls," I explain. "Archeron and I will be demonstrating,".

"You really wanna show all of them you losing?" he questions out loud. "We'll see who loses in the ring, Nyx," I answer.

Heading into the ring, I stand on my side analysing his weaknesses and strengths. Me and Nyx weren't allowed to spar since the last time we did, we almost killed each other. "Powers or no?" he asks me. "No" I answer my eyes distant as I tried to guess what his first move would be. He was big and had muscle but slender enough to be able to sneak around.

Knowing him he was probably going to go straight for my legs. I let him reach for my legs, he pins me onto the mat and I groan at the feeling, gods we need softer sparring mats. Mum's gonna have to check that later. My hands are pinned at the top by one of his hands while the other, "Yield!" he yells to me. I lean up as if I'm about to kiss him and feel his arms falter, I use it to my advantage and flip him over so I'm on top. Punching his face, I grin when blood starts seeping out of his nose.

I stand up pretending to get off the mat as I knew you he was going to take the bait and try and grab me from the back. The second I feel his arms wrap around my neck I grab his arm and flip him over with such force that if not for the mat I would've broken his back.

"I told you before, one of my girls could take on all of your boys and I taught them so why would you think you could take me on?" I grin, offering him an arm to get up. He refuses it and stands up, "Men" I scoff. "Look I'll prove it, your best guy against my newest girl?" I say. "You're on" he whispers back and heads to his guys and yells out "Ben, you're up", "Violet," I say. And watch chaos ensue as his guys got taken down one by one.

"Admit it, they're better," I say walking towards Nyx and the boys, "Yeah but they'll be better in the kitchen," Me and Nyx's heads snap towards the guy who fought Violet. I stalk over to him, "The fuck did you just say?".

"You heard me, they would be better in the kitchen and taking care of children. I mean look at that one I would bend her over and f-" I cut him off by punching his nose so hard he goes staggering back.

"Don't ever talk about one of my girls like that ever again," I say my voice dropping dangerously low.

"These girls are your equals if not better," Nyx says coming up behind me, "Friendly competition is expected if not appreciated, but dropping so low as to talk about a woman as if she is an object is unexpectable, Ben I expect you to write a letter to Violet as an apology and you're no longer a part of this squad." he says nonchalantly.

After a while everyone filtered out, I smiled to Nyx who started changing out of his fighting leathers, and headed to my office. All of a sudden a sharp pain and a tug in my chest makes me gasp out loud. My head is telling me to stay put but my heart is guiding me outside the office and to the other side of the training room, an invisible string guiding me.

"Nyx did you feel that," I mumble out, "Yeah I did," he breathed out. I walked closer to him and kissed him, he stumbled against the wall behind him, I ran my hands up his bare chest and tugged on his hair as the kiss turned heated, he twisted us and picked me up. Wrapping my legs around his torso I gasped as he bit my lip, our tongues fighting for dominance.

"We told you they were mates," Gwyn says smirking at Azriel, Cassian and Rhysand.

"Pay up losers," Nesta smiles in victory. Feyre, Gwyn and Nesta look at the two lovebirds with affectionate eyes as the men behind them grumble and start to take money out.

"Shit who's gonna be the spymaster now, when Nyx rules?" Rhysand questions. Cassian stares at him dumbfounded "What do you mean, wasn't it always going to be Y/N?".

"No you idiot, Y/N's going to be High Lady now" Azriel says with a roll of his eyes.

"Can't she be both?" I say as I come up behind them all, with Nyx his arm wrapped tight around my waist.

"How did you- you were the- wha-" Uncle Cass sputters. "She's the future spymaster and future High Lady, Uncle Cass," Nyx says as if that was enough explanation.

"Anyway we just wanted to say goodbye before Nyx eats his cookie," I say with a wide grin.

"Why goodbye for eating a cooki-" Uncle Cass gets cut off by Aunt Nes, "They're accepting the bond, you big idiot,".

"We're going to go to the cabin near the end of Velaris and once we come back we'll search for a new home," Nyx says never taking his eyes off me. Nyx picks me up bridal style and as we walk off we hear Uncle Cass yell out "Can I com-" only to be cut off by a loud chorus of "CASSIAN SHUT UP!".

I giggle against Nyx's chest.

#nyx archeron #nyx x reader smut #nyx x reader #feysand #gwynriel #nessian #nyx acotar #azriel acotar #acotar #acotar series #a court of silver flames #acosf #dad!azriel #acourtofswiftiesandshadowdaddies #sjmaas #sjm books #sarah j maas #next gen acotar #acotar next gen #xyzbca

[clairewritesjjkxreader]

Yakuza x Cinderella AU Part 1 (Sukuna x Reader)

A/N: I listened to Sukuna’s Russian voice dub while writing this. Gave me some cool gangster vibes.

Everyone would have understood if you shed the “Itadori” name after old man Wasuke passed away, and no one would have blamed you if you walked away from being Yuuji Itadori’s legal guardian. After all, you just started college, you didn’t need to be “burdened,” especially by a kid you weren’t even related to.

But there was no way you could leave eleven-year-old Yuuji alone. You grew up changing his diapers, taught him how to ride a bike, cleaned up his boo-boos, and threatened his bullies. 

He was your family.

Prioritizing your baby brother and his future above your own, you decided to bartender at a fancy but sleazy bar. Although the majority of patrons were assholes and the place was too far from your house and the university, the pay was better than most other part-time jobs so you sucked it up.

Between your job, mandatory onsite classes, group assignments with lazy jerks, and taking care of Yuuji and the house, you could never afford to sleep for more than three hours a day. 

But Yuuji was, of course, an angel. 

He didn’t like to show it, but you knew he missed gramps, and you often caught him biting his lip to suppress his whimpers and wiping his eyes with his back turned to you. He did his best to appear strong, but you wished he’d rely on you more. But the little tiger never stopped doing his chores and liked offering to do yours.

“I can’t get a part-time job yet so all I can do is take care of the house and everything else!” When he said that, you swore an arrow pierced your heart and you almost died from fluffiness. 

Seeing Yuji’s bright smile was the only thing that kept you going, especially after a long day at the bar.

That’s where you met Ryomen Sukuna. He was the single most irritating bastard you’ve ever had the misfortune of meeting. It wasn’t like he was a sleazebag per se–he was actually more of a silent, brooding type compared to the handsy, foul-mouthed drunkards you usually dealt with. At least, that was your first expression of him.

It was nine pm and your five minute break was almost over so you sent Yuji a good night text and a reminder to lock the doors and windows. You brushed your hair and went to your post behind the bar. 

This place was in the inner city, far from most schools, so it was rare to find college students here, but it was a Friday and the end of finals week so the place was jam-packed with depressed people. You didn’t mind. Actually, you preferred having a bar full of university kids over a bar full of working adults. You liked college students. They were… nicer, more polite and patient compared to their older counterparts, who were usually middle-aged career men and women whose dreams have been shattered by the real world. Your regulars were broken and pathetic, and they often liked making their problem yours. You’d “listen” to their ramblings, nod and pretend to care, when in reality their words just went in one ear and left straight out the other.

You didn’t like talking or socializing. You left that part up to the waitstaff and prepared the drinks as quietly as possible in order to avoid trouble.  

It was nearing one am, almost time for you to go home. You finished wiping the last piece of glassware when the store bell rang. You didn’t bother to even pretend to be polite this time and continued cleaning up, waiting for one of the waiters to tell the guest that the bar was already closed. But that didn’t happen. 

“The VIP room is a little unclean right now, so if you’re willing to wait–”

“What do you mean unclean? You should always keep it ready,” a cold, androgynous voice reprimanded.

You were annoyed. And a bit confused. You’ve been here for several weeks now and you just found out about this so-called VIP room. And up until now, the personnel here always shooed away all customers during closing. 

“It’s fine, Uraume,” a deep, husky voice interrupted. “I’m fine waiting here. Just get me my drink.”

You raised your eyes and saw a tall man in a white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, bringing attention to his… big veiny hands and sinewy arms, lined with black tattoos. 

“O-of course!” Your boss clasped her hands together. “Please excuse me, I’ll get the sake ready in a bit.”

As if sensing your gaze, your tall, red-haired stranger turned his head, revealing a face also full of tattoos. You blushed but composed yourself and bowed in greeting. You refused to make eye contact again though, too embarrassed that you were caught ogling. He was more gorgeous than most idols and sports players that showed up on TV.

“On second thought, I think I’ll sit at the bar.”

Ah, crap. 

“Oh, um…!” Your boss fumbled towards you, putting a hand over your shoulder. “Th-this is Y/N. She’s new. Really new, I don’t think you’ve met yet.” It felt odd watching your usually calm and charming boss act like this. She was the one who dealt with perverts and other difficult clients, all without getting too emotional or stuttering, but she seemed almost afraid of this man. “Y/N, this is Mr. Ryomen Sukuna, he owns this bar.”

That name certainly felt familiar, but you sucked at names, and as for his face… you glanced up at his smirking face. Yeah, there was no way you’d forget a guy like him. Even if you just saw him walking down the street for a split second you would remember him for sure. 

Your boss squeezed you and you quickly bowed your head again. “Um, hello, thank you for the opportunity.”

“You seemed irritated when my companion and I walked in.” 

“No, you must be mistaken.”

“Really? You couldn’t even be bothered to greet us. Bartenders are supposed to be friendly.”

You just tilted your head, contemplating on what to say next when your phone started ringing from the counter. Mr. Sukuna swiped it before you could blink. 

“Hey!” Your sudden burst of energy shocked you and your boss. You slapped a hand over your mouth. “Er. I mean… I apologize.” 

“Shouldn’t phones be on vibrate during work hours?”

“It was on vibrate. We’re supposed to be closed now.” Welp. You were already as good as fired so you didn’t try to cover up your weariness. Yuji sometimes woke up randomly in the middle of the night. He was probably wondering where you were. You held out your hand. “Can I please have it back now? Sir?”

Like you just told the world’s funniest joke, he threw his head back, laughing heartily. 

Despite your boss almost fainting on the spot thanks to your little stunt, you didn’t get fired. Sukuna seemed absolutely smitten with you–that is, as much as an owner can be smitten by a pet hamster. 

It was the beginning of an irritating, one-sided relationship. 

Ever since that day, Sukuna began frequenting the bar more often. Sometimes three times a week, other times almost daily. Rather than stay at the VIP room, he’d hang out by the bar and find many ways to piss you off, like hitting on you, annoying you until you talked about either Yuji or your classes, and asking you to make some complicated cocktail he heard from a business partner, only to then insult it (he’d always finish the thing though). At the very least, he didn’t try touching you inappropriately. And plus, his childish fascination with you meant he demanded you hang out with him immediately after you finished preparing someone else’s drink, so you didn’t have to listen to other people whine about their lives and you didn’t have to make up excuses with the more gropey customers.

To be continued…

#jujutsu kaisen #sukuna x y/n #sukuna x reader #sukuna #sukuna ryoumen #y/n #sukuna ryomen #reader #yakuza #gangster #mafia #yakuza au #cinderella au #minor age gap i guess? #rich guy poor girl/guy #yuji is baby

[balkan-marie]

Fan splatband based on my culture!

The band's name is "7/8 Craze"

They're called like this because Bulgarian folk music, dances and singing are characterized by unevenly divided (irregular) time signatures, also called Bulgarian Rhythms (7/8, 9/8, 11/8 and so on). The most unusual Bulgarian dance is in the 25/16 [7/8 7/8 11/8] time signature.

More about the characters below cause it's a lot. (Appreciate it if you read it)

The first man is called Stamen, 21y.o. He's from the Shopluk region (Western Bulgaria). The Shopi people are said to be very stubborn and selfish people who refuse to change, have good sense of humor and are not that smart. For example, Once upon a time three Shopi climbed on top of the Vitosha Mountain. There was a thick fog in the valley so they thought it was cotton. They jumped down and perished. Or another one about a Shop buying a soap thinking it's something to eat, he began to eat it but soon his mouth was filled with foam. He said: "Foam or not, it cost money, I shall eat it."

Stamen thinks his region's dances and music are superior because the Shopluk has the most complex and fast dances. He also refuses to go to Inkopolis plaza, Inkopolis square or Splatsville. He prefers to live in his small village. Stamen plays the instrument kaval.

The second woman is my splatsona, she decided to join the group cause she was bored. The rest of the members forget that she exists, they can't remember that she's a girl and mistake her for a boy, nor does anyone in the group know her name. She's rarely hanging out with the band and spends her time alone or walking around with her Smallfry. She's from Thrace and plays the gadulka.

The third woman is Galya (21y.o). She's also from the Shopluk region and is married to Stamen. She's as stubborn and not very smart as Stamen, but more goofy. She plays the tambura and does the choir singing. Galya tries to talk to the nameless girl once in a blue moon or just tells her to keep her hair safe.

Fourth man is Momchil, 23 y.o., he plays the kaba gaida (a bagpipe from the Rhodope mountains). He gets easily distracted and he's often staring at Zornitsa. His friends from his village warn him about the woman because there's something suspicious about her but he doesn't listen*. Momchil is calm, disciplined, quiet guy and a fish (but idk what type yet)

Fifth woman is Zornitsa(unknown age, but is an adult). She's yuda-samovila (similar to a Samodiva), an evil female mythical creature in a human (or should I say inkling here) form in Bulgarian folklore/mythology. Sometimes these women appear in front of young men, bewitch them with their beauty and trick them into marrying them, then take the man's soul. Zornitsa also can choir sing. She's from the Rhodopes.

The sixth man - Bai Chavdar [Ol' uncle Chavdar] is the oldest of all, 60 years old man. He's the founder and leader of the group, he plays the tupan and can sing. Bai Chavdar gets in arguments with Stamen pretty often. He is a sprat fish and he's from Thrace.

The band got known to the public when the unknown girl played 7/8 Craze's music in the waiting lobby, getting the other inklings/octolings' attention then spreading to everyone and even the salmonids.

*Momchil and Zornitsa are inspired from this video with similar designs, 11:13 time stamp. To understand them better.

#splatoon #splatbands #splatband #Fan splatband #Splatoon oc #I was wondering if embroidery in Splatoon universe is mix of those tiny squid/octo drawings and actual embroidery? #Didn't do it for the frame sorry but Stamen has it #7/8 Craze

[geoffrard]

My Chemical Romance, Hardcore Sexual Repression, and the Lemon Stealing Whore

[Content warning for non-graphic references to pornography, sex, sexual violence, and negative attitudes towards sex work. There is no explicit nudity but you might not want to read this in front of your boss. All images have descriptions in alt text. See sources here. Read this essay on my Dreamwidth here.]

It’s the setup of a joke: Gerard Way, Mikey Way, Frank Iero, Matt Pelissier, and a porn actress huddle around a leather couch in a dingy room as a camera rolls. The actress, a young and bright-eyed Joanna Angel, asks each member of My Chemical Romance in the room, “Do you guys watch porn?”

Most of us have seen the interview. If not, stop and watch it now, because nothing else I say will make sense otherwise. (And here, just for you, I’ve reuploaded the video with at least 10% more pixels. Watch below, or read a transcript here.)

The fact that My Chemical Romance, whose faces have decorated shirts at Hot Topic for over fifteen years, whose songs have saved lives and inspired memes, who all have wives and children, would end up associated with an alt porn website like Burning Angel often baffles fans watching the interview for the first time. 

For example, see these comments left on the original video uploaded to YouTube: 

These comments, though more than a few years old, generally represent how a lot fans understand the interview. Other people think it’s funny and perhaps a little out of left field, but don’t question how four members wound up on a porn site like Burning Angel. Both attitudes are a pretty typical example of the MCR fandom’s ignorance about the New Jersey hardcore scene, as well reflecting general weirdness about sex work. 

Since I cannot turn my historian brain off, I wanted to provide some of the extremely interesting historical context behind the video. The post I had originally planned to make very, very briefly outlined how MCR ended up being interviewed by Joanna Angel, founder and longtime CEO of Burning Angel. But the more I looked into it, the more I fell down a rabbit hole. This eventually turned into something of a mammoth manifesto about women and sexuality in the late 90s hardcore scene that gave My Chemical Romance and Joanna Angel careers. I will warn you: this is long. But it’s also important historical background information that rarely gets discussed at all—especially by MCR fans.

(So, with all that said, please feel free to ask any questions about anything I say here! Sources for will be posted on a different post which I will link at the end, and I have been quite thorough, though not as thorough as I could have been.)

Tl;dr: Joanna Angel came up in the exact same scene as My Chemical Romance, Thursday, and Midtown, a scene which stigmatized open sexual expression, at the expense of women and queer people—especially those involved in sex work. When she started her porn site, Burning Angel, she applied the same DIY values that her peers did to their own bands, but faced violence and ostracization from a subculture much too repressed to embrace such blatant expression of female sexuality. In this context, the My Chemical Romance interview with Burning Angel in 2004 was not only a group of guys doing a favor for someone they had probably known for years at that point; it can also be read as a somewhat controversial act that pushed back against this aversion to sexuality, and that helped legitimize and popularize both the site and Joanna Angel’s career. 

Burning Angel: the Movie (2005)

Say you’re a diehard My Chemical Romance fan in 2005—if you really want to watch your favorite band discuss their porn-viewing habits, you’ll have to travel to either your local adult entertainment store or go to the hardcore porn site BurningAngel.com and order their first DVD, appropriately titled Burning Angel: The Movie. Once you have the disc, you’ll have to fast forward through several sex scenes and interviews with other bands before you arrive at what you wanted: the actress who you’ve just seen in hardcore sex scenes asking Gerard, Frank, Mikey and Otter questions about their preferences in adult entertainment.

The DVD was Burning Angel’s first attempt at more professional pornography, and Joanna’s first foray into full participation in filmed, live-action sex. Joanna Angel would later go on to be one of the most well-known porn stars of our time—in Virgin Territory (2006), for example, she played a lemon stealing whore; you might have seen the video—and Burning Angel would be credited with the popularization of the “alt” porn genre, which broke from the exploitative mainstream porn model and typically featured models representative of subcultures.

But in 2005 her alt porn empire was still in its infancy, and Joanna was still struggling to rectify her recent full expulsion from the local New Jersey hardcore social scene with her enduring devotion to DIY values—and the fact that members of the sexually repressed subculture that had ostracized Joanna were her site’s target audience.

Joanna Angel on the Scene

Any thoughts of a future career in adult entertainment and the last name Angel were far from her mind when Joanna Mostov enrolled in Rutgers University in 1998. 

Though she often pushed back against the wishes of her religious orthodox Jewish family, the extent of her adolescent rebellion had ended at sneaking out to punk shows and getting piercings her mother wouldn’t approve of. At Rutgers, Joanna quickly became enmeshed in the New Brunswick hardcore scene, putting her in the same circles as a host of people whose names you might recognize: Geoff Rickly of Thursday (who ran hundreds of shows out of his basement), Gabe Saporta of Midtown and Cobra Starship, and Alex Saavedra of Eyeball Records. 

Geoff Rickly: Well, you know, the funny thing is that, at the time, Joanna, who would later go on to form Burning Angel and become a famous porn star in her own right, was playing in her goth bands with chelsea haircuts and the basement shows. Like, her local goth band would play. And they’d bring out people and stuff, and I’d put touring bands on that show, and so it’s funny to me how, weirdly, DIY punk hardcore scenes and porn had weird associations then. [source: Going Off Track: Geoff Rickly, 2012]

The NJ hardcore scene was close-knit enough that while she only has documented friendships with some of these people, she had to have crossed paths with most of them multiple times (for example, Joanna was at the show on December 31, 1998 where Thursday and Midtown played their first real sets). She went to every show she could and hosted some in her own basement. 

While we don’t necessarily have a written record of her friendship with Frank Iero and Mikey Way of My Chemical Romance, the fact that Joanna attended plenty of shows in the North Jersey area and also spent a lot of time at the Eyeball House (Alex was a close friend; and Pencey Prep was on his label) suggests that, at the the very least, Joanna, Frank, and Mikey were aware of each other’s presence in these early years. They were peers in the same scene, just as they were with everyone else who frequented the same venues or played in the same basements.

For years, the hardcore scene mattered to her more than anything else; it was her social life and what she based her values upon. 

Those hardcore values and a growing curiosity about her own sexuality lead Joanna to sex-positive feminist activism and a writing internship with Nerve.com, an online magazine which explored topics related to sex and romantic relationships. From there, her interest in expressing her own sexuality continued to develop.

[Suicidegirls in 2001]

So, in 2002, when her roommate and friend asked her if she wanted to start a porn site that offered more explicit content than sites like SuicideGirls, which featured punk aesthetics and band interviews but stayed away from anything more than simple nudity, Joanna agreed.

BurningAngel.com went live in April 2002. It wanted to do things differently than other porn sites. While not necessarily pushing the boundaries of beauty standards, the site used models who were beautiful but in a more approachable, average sense. Joanna has said that since she had little experience even watching porn prior to starting the site, she wanted the site to mimic the kind of sex she was having with actors who looked like the people she was having sex with. 

Joanna: When we started the website, it was a reflection of ourselves. It still is to this day. There's band interviews on the website, the style of girl that we use is not your average typical porn star and the personality on the website is a little bit different. All the members interact with each other, all of the girls have blogs and profiles, and people become friends with each other. It's more of a community and a reflection of a subculture rather than just being a website with content to jerk-off to and never think about again. [source: Complex: Interview: Joanna Angel Talks Alt Porn, Piracy, And Her Blow-Up Doll, 2011] 

[Burning Angel’s homepage in June 2002]

Hardcore Punk Reacts to Hardcore Porn 

Her longtime involvement in the scene and her application of DIY ethics to her porn business did not mean that the hardcore culture actively nurtured Joanna Angel’s career in porn. In reality, many parts of the scene were actively hostile towards Joanna and the site once Burning Angel went live.

This backlash isn’t incredibly surprising within the context of late 90s hardcore, a subculture that by and large refused to acknowledge sexuality of any kind. 

The sexual repression in hardcore reflected several different aspects of its culture: a negative perception of women active in the scene; a reaction against the violence of tristate hardcore in the early 90s; and, more than anything else, the general privilege of those involved in the underground.

Like Joanna, Geoff Rickly, and Frank Iero, most people involved in New Brunswick hardcore were enrolled at Rutgers, and white, middle-class male college students dominated the scene. For many of them, applying DIY values to their own lives meant distancing themselves from their socioeconomic upper-hand. Consequently, the scene as a whole developed an attitude of asceticism, rejecting anything that served no purpose beyond pleasure or personal enjoyment. (Of course, it was easy for them to reject their social privileges, especially when they could just as easily cast off their aesthetic of poverty and self-denial for an adulthood of relative comfort.)

To do anything just because you enjoyed it, or because it brought you happiness in the moment, was seen to be a betrayal of hardcore’s higher intellectual goals—and that included sex. You can see this trend, for example, in lyrics from NJ hardcore bands, which focused on things like political issues or childhood traumas instead of the common themes of sexual and romantic desire found in mainstream music.

Joanna spoke about finding comfort in the general sexual repression of the scene because of her own adolescent insecurities:

Joanna: Me being very sexually not advanced and insecure, [90s hardcore] was the perfect place for me, because I could ignore [sexuality]. I was getting older, I don’t know, I wanted to explore myself more. So I began to write these graphic sex stories. My roommate, Mitch, knew about it, and I remember him getting a kick out of it. [source: Turned Out A Punk #127: Joanna Angel (Burning Angel)]

For another salient example, Geoff Rickly of Thursday has spoken about his own struggles with the hardcore scene’s repression, especially in regards to the shame he felt about writing sexually explicit stories for pay:

Geoff Rickly: You have to think, this is the 90s punk scene. It's not now. Nobody would openly talk about sex in DIY punk. It was such a repressed PC time, where — I mean, a lot of that stuff is my heart, like the political activism that was still such a part of punk, and actually just giving a shit about things that matter, and modes of how you're doing what you're doing. Those things seemed to matter back then, and I appreciated that side, but it was also so uptight. So repressed. [source: Going Off Track: Geoff Rickly, 2012]

While its general aversion to sexuality might have been born out of an initial desire to reform the violent misogyny of other hardcore cultures, it created the conditions for certain social problems to go completely unaddressed. After all, how can you address the rampant misogyny, homophobia, and sexual violence in your community if any acknowledgement of sexuality is taboo?

(For a brief but interesting perspective on the impact of hardcore sexual repression upon queer people in the scene, check out Episode #4 of Geoff Rickly’s podcast Dark Blue, in which Steve Pedulla and Norman Brannon discuss their experiences as gay musicians in the scene.)

Of course, these issues aren’t confined to the New Jersey hardcore, nor were they unique to the late 1990s. This particular brand of sex-averse misogyny reflects important threads within the feminism of the time which villainized open female sexuality—especially when it concerned sex work. Left-leaning spaces like music undergrounds adopted this sex-negative, misogynistic attitude as a part of their feminism—not in opposition to it.

In particular, the Riot Grrrl movement of the late 80s/early 90s pushed back against a culture (and a subculture) that shamed women for publicly expressing their sexuality. Following that, early fanzines and performance practices addressed the mistreatment of sex workers in hardcore as one way that female bodily autonomy was limited and women’s bodies were policed. Bikini Kill frontwoman and Riot Grrrl pioneer Kathleen Hanna has spoken about her past in sex work, the hostility she endured for openly discussing it, and the importance of that experience in shaping the form of Riot Grrrl’s protest. 

Kathleen Hanna: “Whenever we were written about in the press, I wanted my sex-work history to be part of the description, because I wanted other women whom I danced at clubs with (and who never knew my real name) to see themselves reflected in some way. A lot of women who are doing music now have been sex-trade workers, prostitutes, dancers; I thought it was really important that I didn’t hide that. But I also didn’t want to glamorize that experience in being a super-cool thing in itself. I just wanted other women who work in the sex industry to remember that we can be sex-trade workers and be philosophers, writers, musicians, artists, or whatever. [Andrea Juno, Angry Women in Rock (1996)]

Riot Grrrl gained significant traction and nation-wide attention. In the decade or so after Kathleen Hanna and her peers catalyzed the movement, bands like Bikini Kill and Bratmobile remained incredibly popular, and likely contributed a lot to shifting attitudes towards sexuality in music subcultures. 

Still, these sex-negative attitudes prevailed among enough people involved in local underground scenes that, when Burning Angel launched in 2002 and Joanna started marketing it in local hardcore spaces, the site received a lot of attention—both good and bad. The positive attention fueled the site and allowed it to expand beyond just photographs, text interviews, and low-budget personal sex tapes that characterized its early content. 

However, the negative attention Joanna and her site received was vocal, targeted, and occasionally involved literal physical violence. As Kathleen Hanna had faced moral condemnation for her time in sex work, Joanna Angel faced criticism from fellow members of her subculture who thought sex work to be completely antithetical to their social justice goals. She has spoken about how difficult it was to see a community she had cared about for years turn her back on her completely for engaging in a type of work that she found enjoyable, and that she thought could be done with moral integrity. 

Joanna Angel: People were calling me ugly, calling me all sorts of mean shit, how [Burning Angel was] making a profit, [we were] exploiting women, blah blah blah. And I was so bummed. I was like, you know, this isn’t fair! I always support every fucking band in the punk scene. Even if I don’t like the band, I support them—I go to their shows, I would hand out fliers for their shows. I thought it was like a code, in the punk scene, that it doesn’t matter whether you like it or not. If this is part of the scene, you accept it, and you help it, and you love it—and I thought that’s what you were supposed to do. I remember being very hurt, you know? I was like, dude, I didn’t violate any punk laws by starting this. My friend from my computer class is the one who put it online. All the other girls on the site—all three of them— were punk chicks and part of the scene. And I felt really bad; people were insulting the other girls, and I really thought I was starting this cool thing where girls could just explore their sexuality. And mind you, at the time, the beginning of Burning Angel was just photos, not even videos. People were getting all up in this upheaval because of a handful of naked photos on the internet. It’s crazy to think about now. [source: Turned Out A Punk #127: Joanna Angel (Burning Angel)]

Amidst the mounting antagonism and after an incident at Hellfest 2004, Joanna officially decided to leave the hardcore scene that she’d been involved with for over five years.

Joanna Angel: I remember going to Hellfest one year. Maybe it was like 2004?…these girls were throwing water balloons at us because we had a booth there. Because we used to get booths at some of these shows and sell tshirts. We didn’t even have any DVDs—we’d literally get in a booth and sell tshirts and hand out fliers and stickers. And these other girls were throwing water balloons at us and calling us sluts. I was like, “Hey, that sucks, can you stop doing that?” And one of my friends—he owned a record label. He owned Eyeball Records, Alex…he saw the girls picking on us, and he went over to the girls, and said, “Hey, can you cool it? They have a booth here—let them do their thing. They’re not gonna get in your way.” And then those girls and their boyfriends beat him up, and he wound up in the hospital. He almost died. It was terrible. And I was like, we have to get out here. Let’s just stay away. If we’re a porn site, let’s just be a porn site. Let’s promote ourselves with other porn companies; let’s step away for a little while. Everyone in the punk scene knows who we are. They’ve made their decision about if they like us or not. I’m still gonna interview bands, still gonna do that thing—but I’m done. [source: Turned Out A Punk #127: Joanna Angel (Burning Angel)]

Joanna and Burning Angel’s separation from the NJ hardcore scene in 2004 finally brings me to Burning Angel: The Movie, My Chemical Romance, and that interview.

So, 2004: after over two years spent largely behind the camera and slowly expanding her porn site, Joanna finally decided to get in front of the camera and produce a more intentionally crafted alt porn video that retained the feel of the website. Thus Burning Angel: the Movie was born. 

As Joanna explains in the interview, the general idea of the DVD was that different self-contained pornographic scenes would be interspersed with band interviews. One of the key features of Burning Angel, like Suicide Girls before it, was the band interviews subscribers could access alongside the porn, so it made sense to preserve this aspect of the site on the DVD experience. Joanna interviewed five bands in early 2005: Killswitch Engage, Eighteen Visions, Shadows Fall, The Dillinger Escape Plan, and, of course, My Chemical Romance—all bands that Joanna admired, and who had been involved in the same scene that she had recently left because of very real threats to her emotional and physical well-being.

Within this context, My Chemical Romance’s decision to participate in the Burning Angel interview was a statement, as they put their support behind an enterprise that was highly controversial within the social circle most immediately relevant to them. 

Fresh off the 2004 Warped Tour and promoted Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge, My Chemical Romance might have appeared to be largely divorced from their scene of origin, but they still acted in response to those politics—politics that impacted American culture at large more than you’d think—in both intentional and incidental ways. 

That is not to say that MCR was being overtly political; they’ve made a clear effort to distance themselves from the clear-cut political imagery and goals of some of their peers in hardcore. Still, the band (Gerard especially) very obviously cared a lot about using their music and stage presence to express shades of sexuality that they perceived to be lacking from some forms of music.

Gerard: I also wanted, at the same time, [for] the record to be a testament to self-expression, and putting stuff in there like that, while not being a homosexual myself, but expressing myself in a homosexual way, is either going to push your buttons in a negative way or you’re going to identify with it. [AP: Well, this whole scene wants you to be sensitive, but not too sensitive.] It is extremely homoerotic, especially the whole emo-sensitive thing. Everyone’s wearing women’s pants; everyone’s got women’s haircuts; everyone’s wearing youth-medium shirts. I don’t want to come out and say it. It’s blatantly obvious. Wearing a leather jacket is an extremely masculine thing to do in this scene. Even the hardcore bands, the really hard ones, you see them in makeup and stuff. I like that. I think it keeps it dangerous. It keeps it exciting. In a way, sex has really been missing from rock, especially because of all the sensitivity. That’s what I really wanted to convey on the record, too. I wanted the record to be very dangerous and sexy at the same time. There’s such a lack of sex in music. It’s been more about getting in touch with your feelings and being there for each other, which is great, but it’s definitely lacking this sexual duality. [Source: Alternative Press #193, Aug 2004; emphasis mine]

Additionally, many of their moments of explicit sexuality on stage were designed to be somewhat incendiary and polarizing. 

But it’s important to remember that, just as late 90s New Jersey hardcore was not the first subculture with issues of sexual repression, My Chemical Romance does not represent the first attempt to push back at this asexual culture and definitely weren’t leading that particular conversation. Gerard took inspiration from artists already pushing those boundaries and incorporating sexual expression into their art. He has spoken, for example, about the impact of Riot Grrrl acts upon his music and stage presence (Joanna Angel has similarly pointed to bands like Bikini Kill as significant influences). These bands had already incorporated resistance against harmful sexual repression, values which Gerard and his band mates took on when they adopted their styles into My Chemical Romance.

(I also want to mention briefly that other significant people in the hardcore world have spoken out against pornography, such as Ian MacKaye of the formative post-hardcore band Fugazi. MacKaye owned Dischord Records, the definitive underground music label, to which a young Frank Iero unsuccessfully attempted to get his band Sector 12 signed. The matter of pornography and its role within the hardcore world was not one upon which you could maintain a neutral stance after, say, appearing on a porn DVD.)

As shitty as it was that they needed approval from the men in the scene, My Chemical Romance, along with other bands, supported Burning Angel, a new kind of porn, and helped legitimize Joanna Angel’s claim that what she was doing was not backwards or exploitative but had integrity. 

Have you had an issue with people you grew up with when they find out you're in the adult industry? Joanna: At first people had problem[s], but not anymore. Once the cool kids in bands said, "I think what she's doing is cool" all the others turned around. Everyone I ever respected didn't have an issue with it and all the stupid, annoying hardcore kids had a problem. For as much shit as I got, I also got a lot of support. [Source: Hustlerworld Interview: Joanna Angel]

I don’t mean to glamorize the porn industry or to depict Joanna Angel as some savior of female sexuality in the early 2000s. But, as Kathleen Hanna points out, sex work is legitimate work, and sex workers deserve to have workplaces that treat them with dignity and communities that recognize their humanity. The reality was that NJ hardcore as a community did not support sex workers. Fundamentally, these were the barriers that caused Joanna and Burning Angel to make an exodus from the local hardcore scene—and they are the attitudes we risk reproducing when we express discomfort that a band we admire has interacted with a sex worker.

My intentions with this post (which turned out longer than I had ever anticipated, so Jesus, thank you for reading) were to shed light on the historical context of one moment in My Chemical Romance’s history. I’ve found that the average MCR fan, even those with a specific fondness for their early years, doesn’t actually know much at all about it—so I hope this has given some clarity.

I’ll end on this note: Without bands supporting Burning Angel, who knows—we might have never seen the lemon stealing whore. At the very least, the culture surrounding porn would look a lot different. That might not mean it would look better or worse—though you can’t deny the role that Joanna Angel played, nor the role that bands from the New Jersey Hardcore scene like My Chemical Romance played in shaping the American culture of pornography. 

Find sources for this post here.

[acknowledgements: thank you so much for reading! my forever thanks, as always, to nic @raytorosaurus, sophia @sendmyresignation, vyn @bringmoreknives, and maddy @8thnotes for their continued cheerleading as i spent over a month writing this long, long post. additional thanks to wes @killrockstar for very kindly offering some incredibly helpful guidance about riot grrrl and sending me resources about kathleen hanna. and much gratitude to merlin @void-flesh and @transmascfrankiero for their feedback on the final draft of this essay.]

#mcr #my chemical romance #joanna angel #mcr meta #my post

[soft-for-them]

Palm readings and tulips - Roman Godfrey x plus size reader

Summary: You and Roman are close, best friends even. You think he doesn't love you despite everything pointing to him loving you.

Comments and reblogs are much appreciated and help more people read my works.

A/N: Before writing this I hadn't watched Hemlock Grove since I was like fourteen so at this point in time I've only re-watched the first few episodes so the characters are probably way ooc. Not proof read.

Since turning eighteen, aka a legal adult, you’ve realised that you still don’t have the power to do much at all. You’re still learning to drive despite knowing that you won’t be able to afford the cost of a car on your own. You’re working part time and you’re still somehow waking up every morning to go to school which seems to never end.

Then there’s Roman.

Best friends since your family moved to Hemlock Grove when you were twelve, the promise of a job at the steel mill shattered as soon as you arrived, Roman has always been generous with his disposable wealth when it comes to you.

Roman Godfrey with his fancy little red car always filled with fuel, his house always open to you when you don’t feel safe at home, his disregard for the price of anything him choosing to always pay for your shopping the rare time he stalks around a shop with you when he’s not busy bedding other people. With a flick of a wrist he can get anything he wants no fake ID or drop of his prestigious name needed, though he does the latter one regardless, Roman Godfrey has the world at his feet.

Maybe that’s why you’re forever thinking up reasons why he’s still friends with you.

As you bang you head on your dull green locker, no one around the hallways to stop you for most if not all the students have been killed in gruesome bloody ways only leaving the younger students and the less than savoury upper-classmen left. To think, if you didn’t have someone like Roman following you around like a shadow then you’d probably be mauled to death in a ditch somewhere.

What a lovely thought that is indeed.

Raising you head you look down the hall, only small clumps of people mulling around, a larger group of tall teens clad in baggy clothes huddled around some lockers probably looking at something indecent catching you attention.

“I am an adult for crying out loud.” you mutter to yourself as you check you book bag filled with heavy textbooks and you large novelty pencil case, “I should be out of this fucking town.”

Then a loud obnoxious laugh, one that sounds more like some exclaiming ‘HA!’ than a proper laugh echoes down the hallway reminding you that nothing good ever comes from such fake laugh.

So with a reluctant sigh you mosey over to the group of boys, not caring that you look half dead in your oversized baseballs jersey and baggy mom jeans, your bag clutched in your hands ready to use it as a weapon.

“Alright fuckers what you looking at now?” you holler as you squish in between two towering boys who smell like B.O and dress like nul metal band rejects.

The best outcome is that they’re all ogling at a magazine of scantily clad women or huddled around a small screen of a phone looking at social media but no, sitting against a locker looking horrified is none other than Shelley Godfrey.

Her long faux hair droops over her entire face as she tries to look as small as possible, her long grey cardigan pooling on the dirtied checked floor of the hallway, her arms holding onto her speaking tablet with an inhuman clutch.

Your face turns stern, tired eyes showing how pissed off you are, the very small amount of power you have in this supernatural town bubbling up.

Most all the boys huddled around you both are way taller, a couple of the shorter ones plus size like you, so really you are outnumbered in every way including size. However, somehow the remaining gaggle of teenage boys who roam the school have an odd resect for you. Much like how Roman, when he’s not fucking someone or completely gone like he was never alive, they follow you around school like lost puppies finding you entertaining, your straightforward and sarcastic wit making you ‘one of the boys’.

That and you’re one of the very few teens who Roman hasn’t bedded, some of your classmates almost seeing you like a challenge for surely soon enough Roman will fuck you too. You’ve overheard them talk about you like this many times, too many for your liking and you have mixed feeling about how they see you. On one hand some people see this plum young woman who must be next on Roman’s conquest of fucking every person he can whilst others see you as just ‘the fat girl’ and nothing else.

For once in your life you’d like to be seen as more than a piece of meat but I digress, you’d much rather have the respect of these teenagers than have their ogling eyes look you up and down like your either their next fuck or next bullying target.

 “What? Her wing was falling off, it’s funny (y/n).” one smiles thinking that you’re going to happily chuckle alone with them.

Honestly you feel too much like a mother goose sometimes, these greasy teenagers your rebellious children who think you’d laugh along with them at such cruelty.

“Oh! FUNNY LIKE BREAKING YOUR DICK!” you shout at the top of your lungs, everyone is a five mile radius knowing it’s you shouting out your secret knowledge.

No one other than you and the gaggle of lanky teens surrounding you know who you’re exactly talking about however everyone else will have a fun time trying to guess who ‘broke’ their dick and hopefully the humiliation with hammer into their head not to mess with Shelley Godfrey again.

“Come on (y/n)!” one scoffs whilst another gives you a “not cool bro.” to no avail.

“Where’s your brother?” you ask in you softest voice as you crouch down to Shelley’s height ignoring the scattering boys who try to do damage control now that everyone, which isn’t a lot compared to the beginning of the year, has heard what you shouted.

Speak of the devil Roman appears out of nowhere crouching down beside you as you talk softly to Shelley.

“Where the fuck have you been rich boy?” you scoff as you turn your head to look at your childhood befriend.

“How did you know Tyler broke his dick?” Roman retorts back with a handsome smile.

You ignore him, instead you help Shelley up.

“I’m not a blushing virgin Rom-“ you smile up to Shelley silently nodding asking is she’s ok which gets you a smile back before looking back to Roman, “- me and his brother was in the middle of some things when that idiot fell in the shower screaming bloody murder ‘My dick’s broken, my dick’s broken!’.”

You were having fun too, it’s not that often that a hot guy genuinely takes an interest in you let alone a hot college type who can take you wondering mind off Roman Godfrey, but then his idiot younger brother had slipped whilst belting out pop tunes in the shower making everyone in the house hold privy to the fact he hurt his member.

It was quite easy sneaking out whilst his family crowded around the bathroom, though your thoughts where quickly back of Roman.

As of late all you’ve been thinking about is Roman, that and escaping Pennsylvania but mostly of Roman’s stupidly handsome face.

Him looking at you now with eyes so filled with emotion, most of which you can’t decipher makes you almost blush and fumble. However before you can blurt out your feelings for the guy who used to follow you around town whilst you caught bugs or explored the library instead of going home you offer your arm to Shelley stating that you’re going to take her to her class.

Shelley takes your arm with a small smile, a faint glow of blue like a firefly radiating from under her fringe. Roman follows closely behind you protectively, his heart filling up with an emotion he hasn’t properly felt in his life.

Love.

Roman Godfrey, the most powerful person in school, the man who is your shadow, in love with you.

“He’s not happy with you (y/n).” Peter says between puffs of his cigarette the two of you sat at the front of his static home.

He offers the cigarette to you but you refuse it.

“He’s never happy with me lately.” you say not believing a word that comes from your lips, you don’t think Roman has ever be properly angry or disappointed in you.

“You know that’s a lie.” Peter says nudging your arm as you stare off into the distance to the house upon the hill.

“Peter, don’t contradict yourself.” you hit his arm back.

Ever since Peter Rumancek moved here you’ve been spending more and more time with him, well not as much as Roman has but you’ve been spending more time with the shaggy haired man then at home.

“What I mean is that annoyed at you.” as Peter talks you lean you head down on his shoulder, the late afternoon slowly fading into sunset, the air around going cold.

“How so?” you ask looking up at him.

“Something about a brother and you helping his sister.”

“Ah, that.”

Sighing, nuzzling your face into Peter’s bicep you try to figure out how to explain to him the situation that you hadn’t even realised was a situation until now.

So you explain it to him. In as little words as possible you recount the story of having a one night stand with a classmate’s older brother and the ensuing hilarity that you used as leverage to help Shelley.

“He really likes you.” Peter says bringing his hand up to pat your head as you slump down more into his arm like it was a pillow on your bed.

“Of course he does Peter, we’ve been friends since I was twelve.”

You don’t want to really explain anything more to Peter because you know exactly what he’s trying to get out but surely someone like Roman can’t like you back, right?

And from that conversation sometime later the next week you find yourself sat awkwardly on a throw covered blue sofa, a decorative pillow on your lap and Peter by your side fully relaxed.

Destiny has been kind to you the half an hour you’ve been here, she’s offered you tea, told you embarrassing stories about Peter and genially been hospitable and nice however as she breaches the subject of who you’re hear you start to feel nervous.

It was Peter’s idea, he had been the one to bring up Destiny’s palm readings curtsey of Peter you’re getting the palm reading for free. You’re not some naive little girl any more so you can take whatever Destiny gives you. Unlike the bigots of the town who think Destiny is scamming people out of their money because she is Romani you’re hopeful that she can give you a good reading and get Peter off you back to boot for he has been trying to tell you that Peter like likes you all week.

But still you’re nervous and jittery.

Destiny asks for your hands which you reluctantly hold out.

“I know you’re probably really good at this-“ you begin as she cradles your hands, your palm upward facing, Destiny leaning over to look at them, “-but I don’t need you tell me if I’m going to have kids or if I’m going to rich.”

Your eyes flicker between her and Peter.

“That’s no entirely how this works.” Destiny grins as Peter touches your arms to try to calm you down, “Anyway from what Peter has told me we may only need to look at your heart line.”

“Heart line?”

“Love.”

“Oh! Yeah, love…” your face scrunches up in worry, “Sorry, I’m not saying you’re a fake or anything but I, well, I already know who I love already, I just haven’t done anything about it so I don’t need a reading for that.”

She smiles, the dimpled lines either side of her mouth appearing as she does, her eye sparkling with curiosity.

“Peter you should have brought her over sooner.” she says eyes trained on you, “Shall we begin then?”

You nod a quick yes.

She begins tracing your palms, her fingers light but slow as she figures out both your past and your future form just the curved line of your hands.

“This hand-” Destiny begins cradling your non dominant hand, “- this one show your past.”

Her manicured finger traces a long line slightly jagged and curved.

“You’ve been through a lot.” she states, not trying to get anything out of you but allowing you to speak if you want to, “I assume it’s to do with your family.”

Two hours later Peter is leading you out of Destiny’s flat, a promise to visit again as a friend promised to her, tear soaked tissues stuffed up your sleeves and Peter holding you hand as he leads you onto the street now bathed in yellowing streetlamp light.

“That was a lot.” you try to upbeat but all that comes from you lips is a solemn exhale, “Promise you won’t tell anyone about all that?”

He bumps his shoulder into yours, his hand squeezing yours in a silent ‘yes’.

“Not even the bit about twelve year old you falling in love with Roman?”

“Shut up.” you laugh as you knock your shoulder into his back playfully, “Now walk me home.”

The next day after Destiny’s palm reading you’re overthinking too much so much so you get a headache that can only be cured by taking a long mid-morning nap.

Thankfully it’s the weekend and you don’t have work but unthankfully as you groggily wake up from your impromptu nap you hear the tell tell signs of one Roman Godfrey lowering himself down on top of your crowded double bed, his nicely dressed frame clashing with the teddy bears and old granny floral sheets of the bed.

“You climb through my window or something?” you ask as you drag yourself up into a sitting position, ignoring the fact your face comes dangerously close to Roman’s.

“No one’s here (y/n) so I used the key underneath the front door mat.”

“Liar-” you joke as your rearrange your twisted t-shirt on your plush body, “-the key is under the pot Rom, you know, the one with the dead tulips.”

You both maybe siting side by side, you under the covers and him fully clothed, but you can see his growing smile on his smug face from the side of his face, mischief soon to come.

“What, stop smiling like that and spit it out.”

His smile grows into a clown like grin as he lets out a deep chuckle. He bends down to the side to pick something off the floor. On hand latches onto your leg anchoring him down as he bends down hanging his other arm off the bed, warmth rising in your face at the rather forward action.

He rises bringing, what at first you think is a wad of paper, up but as you look closer you see the paper is combined with translucent pink plastic in a cone shape holding flowers in place.

Flowers.

Now just any flowers but blood red tulips, much more vivid and alive than the ones that used to live by your front door. And they’re not some supermarket type flowers either, there’s no barcode stuck to the plastic or creasing on the paper from where they’ve been sitting in a pot with other bouquets of flowers. No, they’re big, new and most certainly handmade, so perfectly arranged that they must have cost too much, well too much for you anyway.

For Roman it probably was nothing at all, his wallet still filled with too much money.

You must be frozen in place for Roman, one hand still on your leg, passes over the bouquet of tulips.

“Why you got these for?” you ask.

“I don’t like seeing you sad.” he says leaning closer so your noses almost touch.

“I’m not sad.” you try to smile, your eyes flickering between the blood petals and his sharp mesmerising eyes.

“I saw you yesterday with Peter, you were crying.”

Despite there being a thin blanket separating your bare legs from his hands you can feel him stroke patterns near your knee.

“Then why didn’t you come over then? You know I’ll always have you.” you words come out wrong for you were trying to say that he’s always welcome in your home though I guess the growing bubbling feeling of love has impaired your mind just a bit.

As your eyes look at the flowers you miss the hungry, almost monstrous look flash in Roman’s eyes, his pupils going large. It takes all his strength not to grab you and kiss you all over making you his.

He won’t even tell you either that last night another classmate died, that he was trying to investigate it.

“I’m taking you out.” he demands.

“Ok.” you say feeling that you can't decline, the thought of it being a date pushed out your mind for Roman always seems to be spending money on you, “Let me get dressed first Rom.”

#roman godfrey #roman godfrey x reader #roman godfrey x plus size reader #hemlock grove #hemlock grove x reader #hemlock grove x plus size reader #x plus size reader #plus size reader #x chubby reader #chubby reader

[draculaxias]

ᯓ 𓈒ㅤׂ𐙚 🫧 PTN AUS .ᐟ

Tell me what you guys think! I might write a few of these, hopefully you guys take inspiration from these as well!

NOT PROOFREAD

ZOYA ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི

— (Maybe part of my rockstar Zoya collection?? Anyway this is hugely inspired by NANA) Younger Zoya, still not a famous star but with determination to make it happen, meets you at the train you both take. Both of you leaving to go to Tokyo perhaps for different motivations, you for a fresh restart and to finally see your dear sister, and her to make her wishes come true.

Throughout the ride you both get to know each other, both of you were opposites, but you connected so well; to you, Zoya was cool! On the other hand, Zoya thought of you as a dog following people searching for an owner.. Well, although less of an insult than it sounds-. Once the train has stopped to its destination, she disappeared in thin air leaving you wondering where she was.

Until next day looking for a place to stay and start your adult life without the help of your parents turned out to be quite difficult. Either rent was too expensive, weren’t available, or wasn’t a … Well, fitting place to stay. But it all went right when you got recommended a much older building, but totally fitting and with a reasonable price!

But what happens when it turns out someone else wants it? Especially when that someone is no other than the cool girl you met on the train!? Perhaps you can become roommates! Even friends! Things get better for the two of you when you realize you only have to pay half the rent each! Of course you both agreed.

Strangers to friends, and friends to lovers. But before getting together, you both face struggles. Zoya with her own insecurities, ones she keeps to herself not wanting other to see her vulnerable side, while not being sure of her own feelings. While you are also struggling to see your true feelings for Zoya, and being in unhealthy not-so-lasting relationships.

How long will this journey last?

— BULLY HIGH SCHOOLER ZOYA AU! Zoya has been your bully ever since 6th grade, her intimidating presence and her rather large group of friends didn’t really help you stand up for yourself. You always felt small around her, she always had control over you.

Although it’s all thrown in the trash when her body language starts to change, her behavior. She still picks on you but what you once thought was pure hatred towards you slowly started to turn into much more. From pinning you against the wall, to getting ticked off when you talk or give your attention to somebody else that isn’t her. Dare you say she was jealous.

— MAFIA BOSS ZOYA, you were chosen along with some other women to be the boss’s “pet”, never did you think the boss was going to be a woman; an attractive one in fact.

You stood out from the rest to Zoya, she wanted you, and paid a lot of money for you, her now property, and she makes that clear. At first she is cold, However it isn’t long before she truly falls in love with you, you’re now her weak spot, her one and only who she will protect and fight for forever.

You, her princess who she spoils and adores so much, she would even die for you.

!!! ^^

RAHU ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི

— HIGH SCHOOLER RAHU, imagine a rather quiet girl x loud bubbly girl, opposites but perfect for each other??? People are honestly surprised how you two even managed to become friends with how not very social Rahu is. As your friendship continues, slowly she becomes comfortable around you.

Rahu wasn't necessarily a shy kid, just not the most social, but gosh was she the highest in her class--- a good kid always turning in her assignments on time. You on the other hand tried, but let's say you get lazy at times, but that's where your relationship with Rahu begins! You, asking for her help! She is a high ranked student after all!

And from that you got stuck to her like glue. It was surprising to her, you? Interested in befriending her? Hah. You'll forget about her eventually. That moment however never came and as you grew closer something inside Rahu changed. Her perspective of you changed. Every night she was thinking about you, every time she wakes up, she things about you, every time she looks around the crowded hallways to catch a glance of you.

All of the sudden, she doesn't want to be just your friend.

— KNIGHT RAHU, a forbidden love between the princess and her loyal knight. It would be a scandal if people found out about your crush towards your knight. She wasn't royalty, a noblewoman, no matter how much you wanted to kiss her you knew your family and the society wouldn't agree with your choices.

Things get more difficult when you finally confess and she admits feeling the same way, that night you both made love in the garden. Your parents would've killed her if they ever found out. Knowing she loved you too made your heart ache because you knew you two could never be happy together; not with the consequences you may face, the judgment, and hate.

As if fate couldn't be anymore crueler, your parents arranged you a marriage. Rahu's heart broke, and so did yours. Even more once Rahu told you it's best to forget the love you two hold for each other before it gets too hard to let go. Yet, you can't accept this fate.

"Rahu.. I can't... I don't want to let go. Please, let's escape this place together Rahu I just want to be with you, please."

!!! ^^

DEREN ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི

(Not much of an Au but rather an idea I guess)

— DIRECTOR DEREN X ACTRESS Y/N, hooking up with your director seems like a terrible idea. Even so worse once people find out about the affairs between you, a beloved actress, and Deren, a well known director who hasn’t released a movie for a while. Not a so great comeback from Deren huh?

You on the other hand aren’t safe either. You’ve been in a relationship for already 3 years with someone else, people think how could you ever hit so low? Ruining a relationship that has lasted for quite sometime, and a happy one. If only they knew how it truly was.

Your relationship with your partner was great at first, until they started to show their true colors. Of course, people see whats in public rather than what happens during closed doors. A toxic relationship, one where you even started to fear the person you were supposed to love more than anything, yet you couldn’t leave as much as you wanted to. Not when they would make it seem like it seem like it was you who was the problem, making you feel bad and stay.

Meeting Deren… Was the best thing that has happened to you. What was at first simply platonic feelings turned into more. You both knew it was wrong, you were in a relationship, she was your director. But kissing her, it felt right, feeling her skin against yours felt right, everything that happened that night felt right.

— LOSER HIGH SCHOOLER DEREN AU (so many high school aus IM SORRY ITS CUZ I HAVE SO MANY CUTE FLUFF IDEAS), your best friend Deren has always been… fun yet what others would call a loser? Yet there is no other way you’d have her. Constantly helping her with homework because she slept throughout the whole lesson and now she doesn’t understand, having to hear her rambles about movies and how she wants to someday make a movie herself.

Your parents have always liked Deren; they would ask you how she’s been doing; you joke about them loving her more than you. Therefore they quickly accepted when you asked if she could come over and have a sleepover tonight in your backyard.

It was also the night you started to like Deren, but like her in a way a friend shouldn’t. That night Deren once again rambled about how she wanted to become a director in the future, and how she would release the best movies of all time.

“Ya know… I want you to be one of my actresses.”

“You.. you do?”

“Heck yeah! You would be perfect, you’re so talented and pretty..” She turned around to look at the sky full of stars— it was hard to catch a glimpse of her red cheeks due to how dark it was, “You’re.. Amazing y’know. I’m lucky to have you, although sometimes I wonder why you wanted to be my friend in the first place. I know I talk a lot and—”

“I would be more than glad to someday be in one of the oh so Great Director Deren’s movies! Deren, trust me. I love hearing you talk about your interests and dreams, I .. Like listening to you. It’s not annoying.” You turned your head to look at her, “I wouldn’t have you any other way, I like the way you are even though you’re a total loser sometimes.”

With a smile Deren held your hand. Truth is, she has always had a crush on you. You were the most kindest, beautiful, sweetest girl she has ever met. Hopefully soon you’ll realize how much you mean to her.

“Watch (Y/n), i’ll make you a star someday.”

!!! ^^

CHELSEA ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི

— SUGAR MOMMY CHELSEA MEETING FLOWER SELLER (Y/N), she has many sugar babies, that is no doubt, but you for sure are her favorite girl… Although you aren’t exactly hers, yet.

You met when she was in search of flowers herself, so when she heard of flower shop near her mansion with pretty great reviews she knew she had to take a look. When she found out who was running the place, she immediately thought about enchanting you with her charms; you were just too cute she couldn’t help herself!

Her heart shattered into millions of pieces when you rejected her. Who doesn’t want to be her sugar baby? She will literally spoil you so much! That simple rejection won’t stop her— so Chelsea began to visit your flower shop every day just to see you. Everyday she offered more and more. Do you want expensive jewelry? Or a mansion? Or maybe she can help you grow your business if you accept being her sugar mommy!

Yet, as good as her offers were they were always rejected; and as the more you rejected her the more she wanted you. Throughout the days however, you two got to know each other, learn things about one another, will your relationship improve???

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