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#he also has big ol eyes they’re just metaphorical
whaliiwatching · 8 months
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he is so. to me
closeups of my favorites <3
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blorbologist · 1 year
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'holding your hands above your head as they kiss you' for laudmoore with a big ol smooch for you!!!!
“Give him back!”
“I will,” Ashton snaps, “as soon as he proves he’s not Delilah fucking Briarwood!”
Pâté makes a gods-awful fucking sound, between a caw and a squeak, as Ashton hauls their prize up over their head. Laudna is also torn between two awkward things, here, except those are terrified and fucking furious.
He isn’t really sure how it got to this. There was something - the rat did something, and it didn’t look right, so Ashton grabbed him by the tail and Laudna was scared (by the rat not being a rat? Or by him being… him?) and he’d squeezed Pâté and and Pâté yelped and now they were in this shitfest of his own doing.
Anyways. Ashton has no fucking clue what’s going on, so they’re just going to keep playing keepaway with the horny ratbird until they’re sure it’s just a charming, lovingly-made horny ratbird and not all that and a necromancer too.
“She’s gonna getcha,” Pâté wheezes. 
“Sure,” Ashton huffs, backing up. Laudna is many things, more than she’d probably like to be, but she’s not strong. They’ve got this. They won’t let no ghost get her again. “Fuckin’ prove it’s you, you little motherfucker-”
“Give,” says Laudna, storming forward, hair billowing with her advance,
“Him,” she growls, and Ashton realizes they’re pressed to a wall with nowhere to go,
“Back,” she creaks, skin and sinew buckling with bark and meat more moss than it should be -
- and oh, shit. She’s not taller than him, like this, her snarl of an expression forcing him to tilt his chin down to meet it. But she’s long, built of boughs, and so her hands easily press against their wrists. The claws of her fingers curl, tempted to root them there. For all that Ashton is usually an immovable object, they feel their knees threaten to mutiny and buckle.
Oh fuck.
“... Wow,” they say, a little dumbly. 
Smooth. Smooth fucking stone, Greymoore. Laudna goes completely still, the hot pits of her eyes glowing sharply. They wonder what that light must do to the glass of their head. 
She’s not saying anything, so Ashton tries. Has to work through the rock in their throat. You win, here’s your fucking rat. I knew you had some scary left in you. “That’s - this is - this is actually really doing it for me. Honestly.” Not that!
“Is it?” Laudna wonders, tilting. 
Shit. She could kiss them.
She could, and it would make sense. Like autumn leaves alight on a gravel road. Or lichen eating slowly at stone. Roots prying a mountain apart. Something fermenting in old catacombs. 
Or none of these fucking metaphors and something more violent than what trees can conceive of, something they want.
He’d lean in, if he could. But rocks don’t lean, they fall (he falls), and though Ashton’s the one pinned by his fucking wrists (holy shit) he doesn’t want to crush her or drop his heart on her toes. 
So. He just stands there, dumbly, jaw going slack, as Laudna looks. Not into their head, or their gold seams, but their eyes. Looks at Ashton. Which is worse, maybe, or better? They don’t know. It’s scary, knowing something’s growing on you. She’s growing on them, close enough Ashton can almost taste-
Pâté uses what air he has to whistle. “Wew!” he chortles. “Not that I'm not enjoying the show-”
Ashton drops the rat.
Mildly spicy prompt game! Ft. ships I want to write more of <3
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finagled · 2 years
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absent but busy
life never seems to slow down to let me catch my breath, so ive been busy trying to keep things going!
this has been a hellish year but also a spectacular one in so many ways. my dad’s death has shattered me tbh, im just not the same person i was before he left and life will never ever be the same with him gone. as somebody who already struggles with identity issues, i had a real hard time knowing how in the world i was supposed to keep going without his input and support. he always saw right through me and could point out things about me i wasnt even aware of yet, but he was always spot on, too. bouncing my ideas off of him is how i learned to human. im coming to realize i loved to succeed and experience so i could tell him and listen to how he loved to hear about it. with him gone, ive felt a sense of emptiness with everything.
im trying to hold on to what he’s taught me. he gave me so many lessons on how to be a person, a good person. he played devils advocate so id learn how to fight for what i knew to be true, and to reevaluate my stance if i couldn’t. he taught me how to treat other people, how every stranger deserves kindness. he taught me that you can be wrong, and that sometimes being wrong is a beautiful thing, because then you learn what’s right. he taught me nothing is worth sacrificing your morals.
the answer to where to find this person now is that now, i have to be this person. the only way for those things about him to live on is if i perpetuate them in my own life. im trying so hard to do this. its not going easy. im told over and over again that im smart, that i work hard, that im good with people, and yet my success has not materialized no matter what i’ve done to secure it. i think, if i just had mental health care and meds, if i could just see a doctor, then id be so great. but i can’t think like that. whether that’s true or not and that’s the only thing in the way between me and living like i feel like im meant to, it doesn’t matter. trying to get government assistance, at least in this state, feels impossible. i dont have the energy to keep hoping they’re going to help. im frustrated to come to the conclusion that i am going to have to metaphorically “pick myself up by the bootstraps” and find a way to push forward in the meantime.
i know im intelligent and have skills that can genuinely and directly help people, because ive done it before. its taken a really long time to have confidence in myself about anything. but i need to start, and then do something with it, because im wasting time waiting for help to arrive.
this is a big ol ramble but it feels good to have the energy to write stuff up. vari and i have been working real hard this past year trying to get the house and our lives set up in a way that will set us both up for success. we’re slowly getting a handle on chores and bills, and our mental health is improving. im slowly pulling all the tangled yarn apart in my brain and getting things sorted.
they took me off adderall and onto strattera, which i actually dont mind. ive heard the medication can precipitate manic episodes in bipolar individuals though, so i wonder if i like it because of that. im depressed so often and its been so long since hypomania, that i really done mind when i wake up with the excess energy and vigor. it doesnt feel extreme like hypomania, more like just having gusto for the day. ill have to keep an eye on it more since its only been about three weeks, but im grateful i havent lost much progress from getting off adderall. the side effects aren’t nearly as powerful either, which is nice.
so im trying. i have too many people i should be getting back to with messages so if youre one of them, im sorry. theres a million things going on and only so much energy each day, but ive drawn up some routines that i hope will encourage me to do more stuff throughout the day other than just chores and sims ;)
thanks to anyone for reading :3
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knowlesian · 2 years
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from a post finale haze i bring you: deeply disorganized thoughts about jim/olu, more or less centered around e7 but we all saw that finale. you all understand why i got three and a half hours of sleep. complaints about any interpretive jazz-esque sentence structure can be tied to the leg of a magical seagull and sent direct to david jenkins himself as he is to blame.
- why not start at the obvious thing right off the top: they nearly kissed, team. WE ALMOST HAD IT. olu leaned in. jim leaned back. the space between their beautiful wonderful faces was ALMOST. GONE.
it’s such a great mutual approach, too. jim’s smirk morphs into staring and then olu moves closer and jim moves closer still and they are SO IN SYNC. they have only been a team for a year and olu just found out jim’s favorite color like an hour ago, but they are a goddamned perfectly functioning unit.
- which makes me go back to the scene where olu gets to hang out in the house and nana says she likes olu and asks if he’s jim’s husband. there’s such a great rapport between the two of them right there! after jim notably doesn’t say no (and neither does olu! he just looks pleased) and they have this soft eye exchange of ‘seriously???’/’what, i’m just having fun!’ jim sort of... softens as nana goes to look outside at jim’s found idiot family they dragged back home with them and i think a lot of it is because jim did find a home with these big ol’ dopes and they’re fond of the whole lot of them.
but the rest i would argue has a lot to do with how well olu fits into this side of jim’s life, too. the crew is outside, walls still between them and jim: olu is in the house. they didn’t want to go home and face the proverbial music, sure, but i think there’s a piece there where jim was afraid bringing olu to see nana would break the spell, and instead olu is happily getting along with everybody’s favorite murdernun and sitting at the table easy as you please and that opens the avenue that this thing with olu could be for real and for keeps.
- which makes me wonder: is this a story where jim’s favorite color is teal because olu’s earring is teal, or is this a story where the day they met jim met a beautiful man with kind eyes who already wore their favorite color? (or is this a story where jim met a man with a different earring and they bought that one for olu because they wanted to see him in their favorite color goddamnit now i’m having feelings at the mere potential.)
- extra shoutout to the way olu calls out “JIM. YOU DID NOT DO ENOUGH MURDER, MY SOUL BLEEDS WITH DISAPPOINTMENT IN YOU” was a damaging interaction for jim. we love a ride or die bitch, especially when they have kind eyes and hilarious line delivery.
- which brings me to: “if you wanted... i could be family”. pain. sheer beautiful pain. not erasing what came before, but adding to; nana is Part of You, but i could be yours as well. it’s so, so sweet and supportive and then the way jim RESPONDS. the acting on this show, i’m mad about it and i’m gonna die mad about it. jim’s gaze flicks away but then we are BACK, THERE IS A SLIGHT GRIN. A LEGIT GRIN. and then that glorious mutual approach i already yelled about.
- and because i didn’t mention it above, the little “holy shit, we almost kissed! wow, huh?” look they share after stede rolls up to ruin the moment. SO CUTE.
- which brings me to the goodbye, where olu doesn’t try to talk jim out of it just supports their choices and makes it clear olu remains a safe place to land, no matter what. he gives them this little adorable almost hug and then: the hat slap.
i am obsessed with this little motion. it’s fucking adorable, first off, but it’s also possibly the physical manifestation of why this ship has burrowed into my heart and made its home there.
like: we know jim trusts olu. they allowed olu to watch their back and even speak for them before they found their own voice as jim. i know there’s an in-world reason for that, but the METAPHOR. i wanna eat it like izzy ate his own toe. when jim couldn’t raise their voice, they trusted olu to have the right words.
add to that olu knows jim is scary! he just got finished telling nana he watched the revenge murder go down and honest, it was super vengeful. no notes, shocked faces all around. (sidenote: i want to know how that all happened. did olu know shit was gonna go down or just help jim get out of dodge after? probably that last one, but inquiring minds!)  
the point is that olu knows who jim is in their entirety, from the revenge thriller canon they were born into and the muppet hijinks they have now embraced. and olu still slaps the brim of jim’s hat because just like he’s a safe space for jim, they’re a safe place for olu.
- i can’t wait for olu’s backstory. i will ASCEND. i need it. jim clearly fills a hole in his heart and i want to know e v e r y t h i n g. i need to see how they met. EVERYTHING.
- and finally, because it doesn’t fit anywhere else but i want to add it: if i’m going with the grand unifying theory of jim following The Call to Muppet while izzy does not that makes the way they handle lucius in e3 extra hilarious. that is a muppet-ass plan if i have ever seen one!!!! and in a muppet movie somebody could survive being chucked over the side in a box/footlocker/whatever that was by simply floating to the nearest island, i’m js. (yes i’m a lucius lives truther, now and forever. IN A MUPPET MOVIE, YOU LIVE. THE END.)
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curlynerd · 3 years
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You're Bacon Me Crazy Word Count: 2K Rating: T Summary: "I can like more than one kind of burger, you know!" Or, Dean comes out through complicated burger metaphors. Notes: humor, canon-adjacent, coming out, established Destiel, #pray4Sam
Also read on AO3!
"You're really having two burgers, Dean?" Sam asks in his most smug, most obnoxious "I’m eating kale for lunch" voice. Dean really hates that voice.
Dean straightens his back and spreads his hands out, like the two wrapped burgers, the extra large fries, and the soda with two straws are a majestic bounty. “I’m a growing boy, Sammy."
“Uh-huh,” Sam deadpans. He lifts the takeout lid of his salad and starts carefully drizzling the vinaigrette cup over his bed of leafy greens and grilled chicken. “And you’re definitely not going to bully Cas into splitting them with you? You know he doesn’t need to eat.”
Something tight and anxious curls in Dean’s chest. “No!” he blurts out, realizing a second too late that it’s normal for him to share his food with Cas. Just because he’s been doing it more now that he and Cas are finally together does not mean that it’s weird now.
In response to Dean’s defensiveness, Sam raises a self-righteous eyebrow in sync with his salad-laden fork. “Can he even really taste them? I thought he didn’t like food in angel mode.”
Dean swallows down a multitude of answers. He likes sharing the experience with Cas anyway. He thinks the way his face scrunches up at the molecules is cute. It makes him feel all warm and fuzzy inside that an angel -- his angel -- is willing to put up with something so silly and mundane and human as taste-testing different burgers.
He really, really needs to tell Sam the truth about him and Cas. Hell, he’s been trying to for months! But every time the perfect opportunity presents itself, he turns into a fuckin’ coward.
And today definitely is another perfect moment. The conversation has naturally turned to Cas. They’re sitting at a picnic table at the park, with nobody around to overhear Dean spill his guts in the most agonizing and uncomfortable way possible. They’re working a case, so immediately after the conversation Dean can bury himself in research and hunting and not have to deal with Sam’s big, obnoxious “let’s make a huge deal out of this!” puppy dog eyes. And Cas isn’t even here right now to make things more awkward. He’s still checking out the victim at the coroner's office across the street.
Dean tries not to think about what a big baby he’s being by ignoring this golden opportunity. “He just tastes stuff different as an angel. He’s learning how to pick out the nuance.”
Sam rolls his eyes. “Because there’s so much nuance to ‘extra cheese’ or ‘hold the tomato.’”
“Oh like you’d know, Mr. Tofu Burger.”
“You’d eat a burger off the floor. Are you really trying to convince me you care about what kind of burger it is?”
Dean huffs and levels an indignant glare at his brother. “I absolutely have a favorite burger.”
“Then why’d you get two different kinds?”
"I can like more than one kind of burger, you know!"
Sam snorts. "That's just an excuse to eat more burgers." He spears a forkful of tomato and spinach with a smug little twinkle in his eye.
"It's so not," Dean insists. He gestures at the two wrapped foil rounds in front of him. “These are two unique burgers that both have their own delicious qualities.”
“Really?” Sam’s expression is so pompous Dean kind of wants to throw a french fry at it. Except that would be a waste of a perfectly good fry.
“Yes ‘really.’ Look--” Dean carefully unwraps his first burger. “This is a pickle burger. And not just any ol’ pickle burger. The best, most amazing, and -- dare I say it? -- sexiest pickle burger in the entire continental US.” He smirks as Sam rolls his eyes. “Now I can tell by that condescending look in your eye, you’re wondering, ‘What the hell is so special about a pickle burger? It’s just pickles!’ But that’s where you’re wrong.” Dean lifts the top bun and points down to the burger, looking almost gleeful at all its toppings. “Fried pickles, pickled red onions, relish…Sour and sweet and crunchy, the perfect compliment to a juicy, meaty burger. And one this big? You’ve gotta have a little something special to handle all this meat.” Sam tilts his head, his mouth twitching like Dean said something embarrassing. Was it waxing poetic about vegetables? Probably. Dean chooses to ignore it.
“Ya know,” he continues, “for the longest time I didn’t think I’d like a pickle burger. For years I’d be at diners and think, ‘...maybe? I dunno. Probably not for me.’” Dean pulls his mouth down into a thoughtful frown and bobs his head to mimic his past thoughts. “And then...I’m not sure, I just figured, why not at least try it? All those burgers I’ve had all over the country; I could at least give it a whirl. And it. Was. Awesome!” Dean gently places the bun back on his burger and gives it a little affectionate pat. “Now I can’t get enough of ‘em.”
Sam's expression does a complicated dance that Dean can't even begin to follow. But it suddenly clears into a look of dawning realization, followed quickly by horrified guilt, before it clamps down entirely.
Weird.
"Well...I can't fault someone for enjoying a good pickle burger," Sam says slowly. He doesn't meet Dean's eye, keeping his gaze down as he delicately stabs at his salad with his fork. He frowns at the cucumber slice he spears and carefully dislodges it from the prongs. "Especially if they really like, uh, pickles?" Sam cringes a little down at his greens. Dean can't blame him. It's a sad looking salad.
"Exactly!" Dean gestures down at the burger. "I'm a meat man and a pickle guy." Sam looks up toward the sky and then down toward the ground below with a sort of pleading desperation. "This is a great burger for me. And don't even get me started on the sauce--"
"Okay!" Sam's voice pitches up several octaves. Dean frowns at him, but before he can ask, Sam takes a deep breath and plasters a warm, understanding smile across his face. "You know what? You're right, Dean. After all this time. All those, uh...burgers. I'm glad you've figured out which one you like best."
"Well, not quite. I mean, this one…" Dean carefully unwraps the second burger. "Is there anything sexier than a breakfast burger?" He practically beams down at the golden-brown bun, the fringes of fried egg drooping over the side, crisp bacon peeking out from under the patty.
"I...I don't know?" Sam has the same terrified expression as when Dean drags him onto ramshackle roller coasters at crappy county fairs. God, he's such a baby about cholesterol.
“Yeah. C’mon, you know they’re great!” Dean says cavalierly, because he’s not going to miss a chance to gloat about the awesome food Sam misses out on with all his salads. “Bacon is, you know, bacon! It’s the best tasting thing in the world! Salty, greasy, crunchy…”
Sam’s brow furrows so deeply it’s like it’s mining for coal, his unfocused eyes searching the empty space between them like he’s trying to figure out the deep, dark mystery of bacon.
Dean rolls his eyes. Of course he wouldn’t understand. The dude eats low sodium turkey bacon. "I know you haven't had good, real bacon in ages--" Sam looks offended. Then confused. Then offended again. "--but trust me, man. It's awesome. When ya got bacon in your burger, it automatically makes the burger a hundred times better. Can’t get enough of it!” Sam groans like he's in pain.
Dean grins and keeps going. “And you’ve gotta admit, a fried egg is a thing of beauty. Give me a good silky, drippy egg all over my burger and I’m a happy guy.” Sam’s nose scrunches up into abject horror. “You get that gorgeous, soft yolk oozing everywhere...It’s creamy and delicious and unctuous and--”
“Dean!” Sam shrieks. He lets his fork fall into his bowl and covers his face with both his hands. His voice is muffled, but it’s definitely a tormented whine. “I know this is a tough topic for you, but can you please just say you’re bi and never use words like ‘unctuous’ again? I’m begging you!”
Dean freezes. “Wh-What?” Did Sam really--? He--? How does he know?!
Sam pops up from his elbows, dragging both hands through his hair as he frees his face from hiding. “I get it, dude. Okay? I get it. I mean...I don’t get it.” He glances down at the two burgers with a perturbed look and holds up his hands in surrender. “But I get it.”
Dean stares at him. “Get what?” he demands. His heart is pounding fast. Bi. Sam knows he’s bi. When did he figure it out?! Why’s he bringing it up now?!
Sam fixes him with a flat look. “The burgers? The...God...bacon sex metaphor? The pickle guy thing? I get it. Please. Please stop talking about eggs like that. I’ll never eat an omelette again!”
Sex metaphors? Pickle guy?! Dean takes a moment to think and...yeah. Yup. He really did say “I’m a pickle guy,” out loud. Wow.
Maybe he should just...roll with it?
Because otherwise Sam is definitely going to mock him for that for the rest of his life, and honestly, coming out is the much better option.
“You got me,” Dean says with a small laugh. He spreads his arms out with a bit of a flourish, and it’s a relief to say it. It feels good. “What can I say? I like all kinds of burgers. And hotdogs. Tacos. Kielbasa...”
“Please stop,” Sam groans, rubbing at his eyes with his hand.
Oh yeah, this is definitely the better option. Dean fell ass-backwards into a conversation he’s been dreading for months, and the only person feeling awkward and miserable here is Sam!
Really it’s a win-win.
Dean grins from ear to ear as he relishes Sam’s mortification. “Hey now, I thought you were supportive! What happened to ‘I’m happy for you and your burgers?’”
“I am happy for you, I just wish this wasn’t happening over lunch…” Sam whines as he drops his hands on the table.
“What’s Sam happy about?” Cas asks, startling the both of them by approaching their picnic table. His eyes are earnest and sincerely curious, which only causes Sam to send a miserable, pleading look his way while shaking his head.
“Sam thinks pickles are gay,” Dean says to Cas with the same sort of smug glee of the teacher’s pet tattling about note passing in class.
Cas scrunches his face in confusion as he sits down beside Dean. “Sam, that’s...nonsensical.”
“That’s what I said!” Dean lies, because the way Sam’s eyebrow is twitching right now is too damn funny. “Wait til you hear what he thinks about bacon.”
Sam drops his face into his hands again. “This is the worst day of my life,” he groans as he massages his temples with his fingers.
Cas furrows his brow at him. “You’ve been to Hell.”
“And I’m still there, apparently!” Sam flings his hand up in exasperation. Cas quietly takes a sip of Dean’s drink, which for some reason just pisses Sam off more.
“You know, you could have just been normal about this. No weird, gross food metaphors. Just--” Sam drops his voice several octaves and bobs his head in a deliberately annoying parody of Dean. “--‘Hey Sam, by the way, I’m bi and totally in love with Cas, no big deal,’ or whatever.”
Dean goes still while Cas tilts his head at the two of them.. “Who says I’m in love with Cas?” Wait. Is that obvious too? Shit, well, looks like he gets to rip two bandaids off today. Thank God for the hilarious panic on Sam's face, because otherwise Dean would be the one freaking out here.
Sam’s eyes go huge, all color draining out of his face. “Oh shit. I didn’t-- I’m sorry, I--”
Dean can only manage to maintain the ruse for a few seconds before he bursts out laughing. “Nah, I’m just messing with you. Where have you been, man? Cas and I have been together for ages. I thought you were the smart one!”
Sam looks like he wants to leap across the picnic table and strangle Dean.
With a glare so sour it could peel paint, Sam snatches Dean’s extra large order of french fries and storms off toward the car to sulk. About three paces away, he stops, turns around, and levels a stern finger at Dean alongside his scowl. “For the record. I’m proud of you. And I’m honored you chose to trust me with this information,” he hisses in a frustrated huff before he spins on his heel and marches away.
Dean wipes a tear from his eye, still chuckling under his breath. Cas stares after Sam in concern.
“Why is he so mad?”
Dean shrugs off the question as he slides the pickle burger in front of Cas and nudges him with his elbow to try it. “Hell if I know. If you ask me, dude needs to have a burger every once in awhile.”
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canary3d-obsessed · 4 years
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Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 05 (second part)
(Masterpost) (Continued from Episode 05 first part, over here)
Breaking News: Zewu-Jun Continues to be Handsome
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Just. Look at that man. 
Water Ghost Field Trip
Lans Xichen and Wangji are going ghost hunting and the Yunmeng boys want in. For a simple "can we come?" conversation, a whole lot happens here. Lan Wangji uses his mouth to say he definitely does not want these boys to come while using the rest of his face to secretly beg his brother to invite them.
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Corporate recruiter Wei Wuxian advocates for Wen Qing, talking up her skills, and then does the same for Wen Ning.  He pays careful attention to what everyone is good at, and advocates specifically based on their abilities. While Wen Ning makes heart eyes at him.  
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That’s my future dark master
Wei Wuxian also promises to protect Wen Ning, which he ultimately does for the rest of his first life. Wen Qing gives both Jiang boys a genuine sweet smile, and dismantles another anti-WWX ward or two, while still being very protective of her brother's secret.
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Lan Xichen says yes to everybody. Lan Xichen is that indulgent elder sibling who's just a bit too old to play with you after school, but will take you to the park when he isn't too busy with varsity and debate club. [OP mentally hugs her third older brother]
Back at the Inn
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Fastidious local boy dislikes dust; plans to build house on corpse pile
They get to town and Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian check into a room together. LAN XICHEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING? Each of these boys came to this town with his own brother, but they are rooming together, how did this even happen?
(more after the cut)
Does this mean Lan Xichen and Jiang Cheng are rooming together? and if so are they going to have a hot but ultimately meaningless one-night stand while each pines for the person they truly desire? 
Wen Qing is rooming with her own brother, and the other hot girl cultivators stayed back in Gusu. Wen Qing never catches a break.
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The innkeeper tells the Hardy Boys cultivators that there’s a shark ghosts in the lake and they’re going to have to close the beaches in the middle of July, oh dear. 
Lan Wangji takes a lingering look at one of the beds and then goes to sit at the desk. Wei Wuxian tries to chat with him, fails, and goes and lies down on the bed.  They’re not quite getting along yet but they’re moving in that direction, like when you bring a shelter cat home and introduce it to your established cat. Wei Wuxian is obviously the stray tabby in this metaphor, while Lan Wangji is one of those stuck-up Blue Russians. 
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Physically they are setting the template for many of their future domestic interactions, in which in which Lan Wangji meditates or plays guqin at his desk while Wei Wuxian lays in bed recovering from his latest physical or spiritual injury. 
Walk from Dock to Dock
Instead of taking a boat from the dock directly outside the inn, the cultivators walk through a bunch of random countryside.  How does anyone around here sell their fish, if the lake isn’t next to the town?
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Wei Wuxian chats with Lan Xichen, laying out his case for why all the recent weirdness is connected. Lan Wangji, who has been shut out of his brother’s thinking on all of this, listens super carefully. Lan Xichen straight up lies and says “nuh-uh” and then walks faster to get away, so Wei Wuxian tries grilling Lan Wangji instead.
At this point WWX reveals that he, terrifyingly, shares Lan Xichen’s ability to tell what Lan Wangji is thinking by looking at his face.
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Lan Wangji distracts him by pouring out his wine. This isn't LWJ being puritanical; he's escaping from the conversation by using the power of pettiness.
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This works perfectly, getting Wei Wuxian to completely drop the subject and allowing Lan Wangji to make a run for it.
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Note: Lan Wangji may have just now made up the “No Liquor on Night Hunts” rule, because Wei Wuxian asks him “why don’t I know that?” and if anyone knows Lan Clan rules at this point, it’s Wei Wuxian. 
R-A-G-G M-O-P-P Rag Mop
They take a bunch of boats and all stand in the middles of the boats while they use magic, presumably, to move the boats and also to keep from falling the fuck over because you're not supposed to stand up in a boat, assholes.
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Cue JAWS music.
Wei Wuxian cleverly spots a rag mop on Lan Wangji’s boat. I would like to know where the Department of Dubious Effects sources their goddamn nerve, because we are in Classic Doctor Who territory with these mop monsters.
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Wei Wuxian is out here being impressive, and Lan Wangji is doing his good goddamnest to not be impressed, and to be a sulky bitch while he's at it. He rejects Wei Wuxian’s explanation for why he splashed water on his boat, and rejects this friendly shoulder bump, telling Wei Wuxian to stay away from him.
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Look at how Wei Wuxian reacts to that. He is dangerously close to being done with Lan Wangji’s bullshit.
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He is opening the fight playbook here. He takes a big ol’ step over the boundary that Lan Wangji just set, which means the first phase has begun.
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Let’s take a moment to appreciate the not-at-all suggestive framing and prop placement in that shot.
Lan Xichen is amused at these two extremely deadly extremely horny youngsters getting ready to kill and/or make out with each other.
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Suibian
Before this can turn into a fight, the water mops start attacking and Wei Wuxian gets to show off his sword skills. 
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Wei Wuxian’s crazy high level of cultivation always makes Lan Wangji weak in the knees, which is part of why it’s so distressing for LWJ when WWX gives up the sword during the Sunshot campaign.  Cultivation is the heart of their romance, and while Dark Wei Ying is also a high-level cultivator, Lan Wangji isn’t ready to share his narrow path until much later. 
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Lan Wangji is impressed enough to ask Wei Wuxian about his sword, and is rewarded with the most Wei Wuxian answer ever, as he explains why he named his sword “Whatever.” 
The important relationship being shown in this moment is not Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji, but Wei Wuxian and Suibian. You can see how he loves it and it's like he's talking about his pet. 
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And it loves him back, as we later learn. This comfortable symbiosis is part of what he gives up when he sacrifices his core.
Jiang Cheng gets injured by a seaweed mop and Dr. Wen hops over to help him and look at his leg, leaving Wen Ning alone in his boat. This doesn't actually cause a problem for Wen Ning because he's a very strong cultivator. 
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Later, as the Ghost General, he's more formidable than any other fierce corpse out there, and he is harder for Xue Yang to control than Song Lan is. Which means he’s right now he’s probably one of the more powerful cultivators of his generation in spite of his youth and his wandering-soul problem. 
Dance of the Water Ghosts
Now things start to get dicey. Wen Ning notices the color of the water is wrong and Lan Wangji correctly deduces what the water ghosts are doing. Then Wei Wuxian correctly identifies the water demon. As a corporate teambuilding exercise this is going very well, but as a night hunt it is maybe a little more dangerous than expected. 
Lan Wangji says everyone needs to ride their swords and all of the actors fling their arms out in a T and pretend they’re not just standing there in front of the camera. It’s so fucking ridiculous I can’t even.
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However, it’s even worse when they show them standing on the swords. It’s SO MUCH WORSE when they show them standing on the swords.
Back to Corporate Strengths Finder 2.0: Su She has no strengths, just weaknesses. Instead of riding his sword he wants to take one last swipe at a rag mop. He sends his sword into the water and it loses its bluetooth connection and he can't get it to come back out.
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The entire group of Lan clan disciples hop up into the air on their swords and not one of them tries to help Su She, which is hilarious.  
Sweet baby Wen Ning, however, being a good lad, does go help him, and gets possessed, oops. 
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Wei Wuxian grabs Wen Ning and flinches when he sees his white eyes, but hangs on to him. 
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When Lan Wangji sees that Wei Wuxian is in danger he makes this face and goes and grabs him and Su She.
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A hilarious midair conversation ensues, along with some relationship negotiation. Wangji is touch starved and aims to keep it that way. At least in public.
Lan Xichen fires up the battle flute and seals the water demon and oh my god how is he so elegant and beautiful?
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What’s Wrong With The Baby
Wei Wuxian back at the Inn is checking on Wen Ning in a genuinely concerned way, having basically signed on as a co-elder sibling at this point, sensing that Wen Ning is broken. Wei Wuxian is friendly with everybody but he's particularly protective of anyone who's hurt.
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Wen Qing shows up and tells him quite directly to get the fuck out, but he surprises her by understanding what's up with Wen Ning and making it clear that he's on her side as far as care for Wen Ning goes, while he still knows that she's up to something.
Giving Gifts to Girls, Yunmeng Brothers Style
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Wei Wuxian: I deduced that your beloved brother has no personal firewall and can be possessed easily in spite of his high cultivation level, so I used my expertise to make a special talisman that can protect him from invasion by hostile entities. Here, even if you and I are sorta enemies I want him to have this. Also I’m going to throw in a casual acknowledgement of your professional expertise.
Jiang Cheng: I bought you a comb
Squeeze This
Wei Wuxian tosses an approximately testicle-sized loquat fruit to Lan Wangji and Lan Wangji catches it without looking, and an ENORMOUS romantic music cue swells up. 
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Then he rejects it and throws it back. He doesn't, of course, just avoid catching it in the first place because that wouldn’t be elegant and pointed enough. In a later episode, when they begin travelling together, Wei Wuxian will announce his presence in this same way, throwing a loquat fruit at to Lan Wangji, who will catch it and keep it.
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Wei Wuxian tosses the rejected loquat over to Jiang Cheng, who catches it, not realizing he is going to be Wei Wuxian’s second choice man in every instance from this point onward. 
Outtro
Soundtrack
Jaws music obvs
WuJi aka Wanxian which is playing constantly when they are in the library, presumably this is the sound in LWJ’s head
Lookin’ Out My Back Door by CCR
Nothing, from A Chorus Line
Rag Mop by the Ames Brothers (warning before you google it: this will give you a permanent earworm)
Writing prompt: Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng explore Gusu while WWX is stuck in the library  
Restless Rewatch Episode 06 is here!
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vaguely-concerned · 3 years
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Any tips for a TF POV fic? I want to write one because I too went through a time in my life when I let feelings bounce off cuz that was easier, but I feel like that's not quite on point for him 🤔
God I have SO MANY THOUGHTS about this and they’re all so wordless and frustratingly evasive to me yet (I am in the process of writing a looooooong T.F. POV fic and it gives me much more trouble than Graves POV, probably because as a person I’m quite a lot more like the T.F. Type in real life lol). But yes, here we go, let me try to express some of what I personally try to have as my hm ‘anchor points’ for his perspective. (Heavy disclaimer that these are just my personal & disorganized little musings and by no means the only or ‘correct’ way to read the character!)
- First of all I agree, the image of ‘bouncing off’ doesn’t feel quiteright -- it’s in the right neighbourhood but the wrong address sort of thing, but it’s really hard to come up with a way to explain how I feel the nuance here.
*insert three hours later spongebob meme here* Okay, so the metaphor I came up with is: T.F.’s relationship to emotions is a direct parallel to his relationship to water/the ocean: it’s scary down there, it’s dark, it’s dangerous, and if he should ever be dumb enough to try to go in too deep it’ll kill him dead because boy oh boy on so many levels this man just did not learn how to swim. As far as he’s concerned any sensible person would simply bob along on the surface in a sturdily built boat and try not to think too much about the weird shit that lives down there in the depths. (In this metaphor the layer of artifice and performance so habitual it’s basically integrated into the fabric of his soul is the boat. Y’know, the part that’s Twisted Fate and not just plain ol’ Tobias. I’ll hasten to add that I think both parts of his identity are equally ‘real’ and equally him, but the Twisted Fate part is like… protecting the Tobias part. Keeping him from drowning, as it were. I’m not sure he’d think of it like that himself for the longest time, though, I suspect he has more of a ‘that man is dead’ attitude towards the Tobias part after Graves is gone)
I think what I’m trying to get at is the idea that to him, raw emotion is as hostile and unknowable and unnavigable an ‘environment’ as the deep ocean. (And the only time we see him willingly go there, physically and otherwise, is for Graves, so you know let’s jot that down first of all lol.)
- He seems to genuinely quite like and be interested in people – how they think, what moves and motivates them, their secrets and foibles. So I tend to try to keep the uh ‘detail work’ in his POV focused in that direction. Priority going like 1) people 2) people’s valuables 3) the relative availability of people’s valuables at this moment if you have clever hands and a very charming smile haha
- One of my favourite things about T.F. is that he seems, I don’t know… quite genuinely good-natured beneath it all? If you back him into a corner some sharp and dangerous things peek out (he has survived in his line of heh ‘business’ for like thirty years, and a lot of it on his own), but for the most part and when unthreatened he has a sort of mildly amused and intrigued live-and-let-live attitude to the world even as he’s conning it that I find deeply charming. Which to me ties in with:
- T.F.’s first instinctive reaction to danger (perceived or real) the majority of the time seems to be ‘Flight’. Confrontation and violence are basically his ‘when literally everything else has failed’ options. (As seen prominently in Burning Tides, where he just keeps running and running and the only time he actually starts throwing punches is when he has to because Graves is in immediate danger and they’re backed into a corner. Which feels like it means something huh lol, I often think about what could actually make T.F. angry enough that he would openly express it and that seems to be the most likely angle for it in my eyes.)
- My take on one of the fundamental differences between Graves and T.F. is that Graves has A LOT of feelings but doesn’t quite know it (or more like can’t quite conceptualize it I should say) – he has a hard time identifying or finding vocabulary for feelings that aren’t some shade of anger. Meanwhile T.F. KNOWS he has feelings, he just doesn’t like it, ardently wishes he didn’t, and will do pretty much anything to run away and not have to engage with them haha.
Another important difference: when brought out of equilibrium Graves gets angry, and T.F. gets scared. I have the feeling that beneath it all he’s scared a lot, and it’s why his persona is so oriented towards gaining control in ways where people don’t realize it enough to even think try to take that control away from him until he’s already long gone. Misdirection as a way of life babEY
- This might be too deep in the ‘my WIP/process specific’ territory to really count as general analysis, but I think it’s there in canon too – there’s almost a feeling that he implicitly feels like he has to make up for some fundamental flaw or lack he has at the core? (Not a weird thing for him to end up feeling, considering what happened to him as a kid.) All the rest of him, all the cleverness and style and charm, is there to ‘make up’ for how at the end of the day he’s… wrong somehow. As Graves, who knows him better than anyone, focuses right in on, a coward. And that is CERTAINLY not the whole truth and even Graves in a full rage relents when he sees the effect the accusation has on him and once he gets the actual facts of what happened. But I think that sense of deep unworthiness is what’s stuck with him emotionally. His people left him because there’s something fundamentally lacking and immoral about him. He lost Graves because he’s not good enough, because he’s a coward who leaves people behind. He deserves to be alone. Mix in a ton of survivor’s guilt to taste, and I think you have the like… core emotional wound he’s constructed around.
There’s also something here about fear of profound powerlessness specifically in situations where words, generally his strongest card that’s not a literal card (har har har oh we do have fun here), simply don’t work right at the moment when he needs them to the most – he tried to beg for his people not to leave him behind, he tried to convince Graves to get the hell out with the rest of the crew… and it didn’t work. (In Burning Tides you see he’s given up even trying to explain himself, he just wants Out in whatever way leaves both him and Graves tolerably in one piece, even if he won’t be understood or heard or less alone afterwards. It takes him until like half way through the entire chase to even THINK about just telling Graves the truth. In all fairness to T.F. it probably wouldn’t have worked at that moment, but it does vaguely crack me up that he didn’t even consider it until all of Bilgewater harbor was already burning merrily behind them fhsajkfa)
- He has a little bit of a (perfectly justified considering his background honestly) chip on his shoulder, especially when it comes to powerful or arrogant people. There seems to be a special satisfaction in outsmarting and robbing specifically rich assholes (which would also be the people who have the most to steal, so y’know good times all round). From his short stories and few places in his bio you almost get the feeling that he has a funny sort of Robin Hood-esque sense of lopsided justice about it. (Robin Hood-esque only so far as to define ‘the poor’ as the eternally hard-strapped ‘T.F. & Graves Waistcoats and Cigars Fund’, of course lol)
I think T.F. both has a mind that tends more towards analyzing the big picture and also has more direct experience with like… structural/systemic powerlessness and oppression. So the cons they pull are probably partly how he channels the emotions that arise out of that (and the rest he just represses, like the relatable guy he is haha)
- Graves being back would cause some IMMENSE internal conflict in him, I feel – of course all the feelings of relief and attachment and love, but also… so much of who he is now came about specifically to find a way to deal with Graves being gone, with seemingly just shutting down the entirety of his need for real human companionship or closeness for like a decade, things that are suddenly starting to be brought online again and must be tremendously stressful to deal with when you’ve had it completely suppressed and deadened for so long. He’s put so much into trying to be fundamentally unattached to anything, anywhere, anyone (and there are some things here about perpetually being an outsider his whole life that I can’t quite put into words, but that’s a dimension too.) That sort of psychological self defense mechanism doesn’t just contentedly nod its head and go away just because something good happened one time haha. Probably a work in progress there huh (at least he’s not alone in it now <3)
PLUS some bonus Graves POV observations because man. I love writing him, he’s just a marvel of a man
- I know I call him a dumbass all the time, but in a street smart way I think he’s actually quite clever haha, he just has a bad tendency to get hung up on an idea and get tunnel sight. (I’ve based this a lot on the short stories but see also more recently his Sentinel skin voice lines for good examples: he’s incredibly straightforward in that ‘well obviously if it doesn’t affect me personally I ain’t gonna give it that much thought’ way, but you also have glimpses of surprising insight/shrewdness and… I don’t quite know how to put it, but something like an ability to get to the bottom line of something without getting caught up in the details. (I suspect T.F. does find himself lost in the details quite frequently, he’s much more attached to the decorative curlicues of the world.) Graves clearly & frequently has no idea what’s going on, but he strips things down to the essentials very quick: Lucian’s story as a direct thematic mirror to Viego’s, Is There A Sun Lady – Oh, I See, all of this is weird and creepy and needs shooting, and maybe most crucial of all: Isolde doesn’t want to be with her husband anymore so what he’s doing is just like. Extra shitty. He gets what he needs to get and then just barges ahead heedlessly with that. Icon.)
- He’s actually pretty darn eloquent in a gruff sort of way and uses some quite sophisticated vocabulary! And the way this is contrasted with the tendency to slip into blunter coarser language just as readily -- like when he takes the time to describe the monster that takes down the Prince’s ship in such poetic terms as ‘gargantuan’ and ‘the behemoth’s immense, distended jaw’ and it having ‘pallid dead eyes the size of the moon’, and meanwhile during his swim at the beginning of the story we get bastard cold and bastard dark and full of bastard jellyfish and crabs – brings me such immense and unending delight
- He’s more eloquent in his internal voice than he is when speaking (especially noticeable in Destiny and Fate; he does have a tendency to fumble his words when talking lol), and he gets quite easily lost in his own meandering reflective musings in a way I find incredibly endearing. I’d almost call it whimsical at times, honestly, hilarious as that is? Like when he’s literally so absorbed in a line of thought he forgets which way they’re rowing and T.F. has to remind him. (I think T.F. generally has more of a grip of what’s going on around them than Graves does lol)
- There’s an important distinction to be made that Graves actually does, by and large, read T.F: very closely and seemingly also pretty damn accurately. He’s good at (and clearly very interested in) reading his moods, spotting what tactics he’s using interpersonally, when he’s being genuine and when he’s being dissembling.
What Graves is actually bad at is understanding his own emotions, and to not bleed those emotions into other people’s motivations and behavior, especially when he’s upset or in heightened states of feeling, like he is all the way through Burning Tides. He can only name his own feelings in a vocabulary of anger, when it’s pretty clear from the subtext that there’s a whole bunch of other stuff going on there, and he has incredible trouble divorcing those feelings from what other people’s got going on with them right then. He feels hurt, betrayed, and undone by everything that’s happened to him, so the intention to hurt, betray and undo must live in the other person who he feels caused it. In less drastic cases you see him do this a bit when he feels like T.F. is being evasive with him – taking it as a form of rejection rather than realizing T.F. is just lost in his own thoughts, sort of thing. There’s a real improvement in this one between Burning Tides and Destiny and Fate, though, so maybe he’ll have an easier time of it with some time and practice.
Sorry it took so long to get back to you on this and that it’s a bit of a rambling mess, words have been real hard recently. Or rather I have too many words, all the time, left and right, I just can’t put them into the right orders to make any sense hahaha, I hope there’s some useful point in this somewhere for you at least!
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I Have Too Many Opinions. ep. 1
lmao. i got encouragement to post my opinions on fandom things and now i want to make a miniseries doing just that. so here i am. doing just that.
im putting it under the cut cuz this was 4 whole pages including the disclaimer. yes i put a disclaimer and i explain why.
Anyways, here is the first piece in what inevitably will become fandom info dump, this time on thomas astruc’s writing on miraculous ladybug. but only some of my opinions cuz we would be here all day otherwise.
So… a disclaimer before I begin… 
I do not hate Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir (yes i'm using their government name). I am quite a fan of the show actually despite its faults. I am also older than the intended audience but was obviously younger when the show first aired which is how my interest was piqued (the fact that its been 6 years and only 3 seasons says more about the show than me being a fan for that amount of time but also i never want to rush content creators cuz they're doing their best) and due to my age, there will be inherent bias in my approach of what i'm about to say as there is in EVERY opinion. The fact that it is an opinion should imply the presence of bias but most people tend to lack the critical thinking skills required to draw that conclusion ANYWAYS…
If I did hate the show I would not have this blog nor would I be even writing this because i tend to not give more than 2 seconds of thought to things i actively dislike (some of yall should give this a try) and i'm allowed to like things that are designed for an audience that i was originally a part of but grew out of. (I don't suddenly stop liking things because I'm older despite what many younger fans seem to believe about older audiences. I also don't need to be ‘allowed’ to do anything cuz i wasn't asking for permission anyways.)
This will not be character bashing, astruc bashing nor fandom bashing cuz, again, that would imply i hate any of those elements and if i did, i would not dedicate brainpower to them. Analyses and criticisms of media are fun and engaging and required if you wish to produce good enjoyable content. Now most of this should be already assumed and self-explanatory but people on the internet like to play morality roulette roll dice on purity culture and I rather have documentation that I am in fact not bullying fictional 14 year olds or a grown man. But alas, people get trigger happy whenever someone has less than 1000000% positive opinions on something they like and will throw out words they can't define (gaslight, baiting, toxic, problematic, gatekeep etc) in an attempt to defend their blind devotion, 
which is not needed, if you like something you never have to defend it, even if i don't like it. If you respond to anything I post saying you disagree with me, I will not argue with you. I won't debate back and forth and try to convince you that the things you like are wrong. Unless you are being absolutely tone deaf to what i'm saying, you wont get a negative reaction from me. So don't try to fish for a fight. Please. I got metaphorical hands for days and I'm mean, you don't want me hurting your feelings on the internet. Do yourself the favour. Difference of opinion is how we get diversification in media and is inherently a good thing. Now that that's out of the way, please don't ever let me have to say that again. I beg.
Now onto the fun stuff
I didn't know what I wanted as a first topic so my trusty internet friend @moonlitceleste suggested astruc’s writing… 
AND BOI do i got some opinions on ole tommy boi. Again I don't hate the dude. In fact, he has worked on a few shows that had defined my childhood, including but not limited to W.I.T.C.H. (all eps available on youtube for those interested, 2 seasons, general fun time all around).
So I don't think he’s scum of the earth but I do think his approach to writing mlb specifically has more misses than hits.
The first big miss is that he has no idea how to write 14 year old girls. At all. Almost every girl he has ever written feels like some terrible archetype built entirely for marketability and childish projection and pubescent self-insert (kind of). He has never been a 14 year old girl. I have. In fact when the show first aired, I WAS around the (assumed) age of the mlb characters. The behaviour he passes off as quirky or awkward or just the character’s genuine personality tend to perpetuate harmful stereotypes of teen girls found in the media and are never actually addressed as harmful. they just get swept under the rug. Marinette’s exuberant collage of teen heart throb model boi Adrien Agreste and her very painful almost fan worship she has of him (which flip flops like a paper sandal in the rain) being portrayed as a cute school girl crush uwu, Chloe being the y7 Regina George, Alya being the token best friend of colour with her ‘sassy’ personality (i want y'all to imagine me eyerolling so hard i bust a vessel in my eye), Kagami being the very damaging Perfect Asian Child stereotype. And before y'all get on your dusty soap box and defend going on about “BUT IT'S FOR CHILDREN”,,,, know this.
 i don’t give a solid fuck. 
Not one. 
Children arent stupid. Children are always going to remember the richy bitchy blonde who bullies the art kid, and the big kid, and the shy kid, and the non white kids, and was only nice to her equally rich white friend who she probably had a crush on or was only ever civil to her equally white lapdog. They're going to remember the half asian girl who was never allowed to actually be asian or the only black girl who existed solely as a soundboard for enabling bad habits or chastising the main character for the same habits she enables in the first place (boi aint THAT a topic for later). Like do i really need to explain that alya chastising marinette for taking max’s spot in gamer just to play with adrien rings absolutely hollow when she actively encourages her to sabotage the contest she’s in just so Kagami doesn't win?? Like I don't have to explain that right?? Again kids arent stupid and its quite something that Mari gets chastised for proving herself the best video game player regardless of her intentions just cuz it comes at the expense of max’s feelings/ego but is actively encouraged to sabotage not only kagami but herself by extension cuz kagami is ‘competition.’ Adrien is not a trophy to be won. And no I don't expect 14 yrs old to be perfect and to always make good decisions but these decisions are never addressed as being bad decisions. they get swept under the rug cuz those decisions were necessary for the ‘plot’ but astruc can barely keep characterization consistent and his characters suffer for it and it's the same children you preach are watching it that suffer as well. Cuz guess what? I KNOW 14 yr olds aren't like that cuz i've been there done that (this is the last time i'm saying that i promise) so I know astruc is just metaphorically throwing darts to figure out who says and does what without consideration for pre established personalities to drive the stalemate plot along. The same kids you say are watching this don't know that that's not how preteens work and will absorb and internalize those dynamics like baking soda and vinegar. Cata-fucking-strophically. 
And I haven't even gotten to the boys yet. Which honestly doesn't require much explanation anyways cuz they suffer the same fate as the girls. Tired archetypes with nothing to give them life. Nino falls into Adrien’s person of colour token best friend who dates the female lead’s person of colour token best friend so they can have cute double dates uwu. Except the plot goes nowhere and we have no inclination of romantic development beyond moments that only act to actively convince me to anti ship the lovesquare (i don't want to do that so i self indulge in fanon that actually cares about the characters and plot. may i interest you in True Sight on AO3?). Max is the residential nerd but it doesn't matter (cuz he and everyone are dumbed down for the sake of ‘plot’), kim is the sports jock (which interestingly subverts the asian comedic relief stereotype but only barely) and luka is cute older guy ™ that wears black nail polish and is in a band. The point of all this is to say there is no depth in the characters. It's especially blatantly obvious with the characters astruc doesn't like (chloe). Again, it being a show for kids is not an excuse to be absolved of putting effort into the characters you make.
This is one of the biggest misses astruc has. I haven't even gone into all the nuances of this particular miss. And i havent gone into how that works against him in the plot either. Mostly because the plot itself hasn't gone anywhere and partially because I wanted to go into the plot (or lack thereof) separately as its own miss. 
AND BOI is it a miss. 
SO home boy astruc wanted to reap the benefits of a serial show with ‘engaging’ plot without putting in any of the work to make a linear storyline and relying on the episodic format for, again, marketability. You can't have the best of both worlds, you are not Avatar: The Last Airbender. Which btw has a lot less episodes and a desired end goal that didn't involve top dollar. Legend of Korra did but that's not the point and it had its failings with that too. I challenge you, tell me how many episodes actually contribute towards a plot point or introduce new thematic elements to the show? Can you name them? I can and I'm going to include the plot points that moved the story in some direction if only temporarily. Yes only temporarily for some of these and i will explain later. (if you're in the server you already saw this list *wink*)
25/26. Origins- self explanatory, the beginning of the story, 
24. Volpina- introduction of the grimoire and Master Fu (kind of) and no, Lila is not a plot point,
28. The Collector- proper introduction of Master Fu,
37. Sapotis- introduction of Rena Rouge,
41. Syren- introduction of new aquatic power ups,
44. Anansi- introduction of Carapace,
47. Frozer- introduction of new ice power ups,
48/49. Style Queen- introduction of Queen Bee,
51/52. Heroes’ Day- introduction of Mayura and mass akumatization,
66. Startrain- introduction of Pegasus,
67. Kwami Buster- Marinette wears multiple miraculouses,
68. Feast- backstory as to how the miraculouses were lost,
69. Ikari Gozen- introduction of Ryuko,
70. Timetagger- introduction of Bunnyx,
71. Party Crasher- introduction of Roi Singe and Viperion,
73. Chat Blanc- alternate timeline that essentially means nothing but got a reaction out of fans anyways (myself included)
 77/78. Love Eater/Battle of Miraculous- Marinette becomes guardian and other heroes lose their miraculous,
New York Special- other heroes exist and there is an American miraculous box,
That's 21 episodes. 21 out of a heaping 78 plus 2 specials. Everything else was just your typical akuma of the day episode and everything that happened outside that had no lasting consequences on the plot thanks to the miraculous status quo. Was it entertaining to watch Lila stir the plot of the class dynamic? Hell yeah. Too bad it meant nothing by the end of the episode cuz we were struck with miraculous status quo. She literally doesn't appear again until Heroes Day. that is from episodes 25 all the way to 51, she means nothing and yet she is treated with the severity of a b-villain/rival thing. She means nothing by the end of Volpina if I'm being honest. She is only relevant for 20 mins of episode time she’s in then it's back to magic status quo that undoes any shift in dynamics and relationships. It's like Spongebob who can't get his driver’s license. The worst part is I actually like Lila and I wish the story treated her with the seriousness we as an audience are expected to treat her with. Despite being painfully inconsequential by the end of each of the 3?? 4?? episodes she’s in, it's entertaining to watch a character create drama just because. 
Too bad it means nothing.
Astruc is constantly building up suspense to something ‘important’ only for it to not deliver and fans are constantly having the rug pulled out from under us. Oblivio teased us with a reveal only that gets undone cuz memory akuma. Chat Blanc teased us with romantic development but that gets undone cuz time travel bullshit. Feast introduced more miraculous lore and the history of the guardians but that means nothing by the next episode or ever (i'm not including any reference to the season 4 trailer cuz i've been around the block a few times and im familiar with this lil dancy dance). Heroes Day teased us with a possible future team of heroes but that gets undone in Battle of Miraculous cuz ????? why?? (here's why; astruc was having a jolly ole time letting us know how irredeemable Chloe is at the expense of shooting his own stagnant plot in the foot. Again, discussion for later.)
Too bad anything that slightly swerves off course from the akuma of the day gets undone or ignored. Too bad nothing has any lasting consequence. I mean, if anything did, the episodes would have had a consistent order and release schedule so im not scrambling to watch the leaked ep in Portuguese or something while the french dub is two episodes behind while the english version hasnt even been dubbed. I really wonder how he plans to conclude the show when he’s so afraid to step out of the corner he painted himself in.
Again, not going into nuances. If you want you can ask for more specifics (i doubt anyone would) but this is really just a slightly detailed general overview of my opinions on astruc’s writing. 
I was going to include another miss in his approach to this show but imma save that for another time. 
How’s that for a ‘first’ post?
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xmanicpanicx · 3 years
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Romanticized Things That Aren't Actually Romantic
1) The "shut up" kiss
It happens in more movies, TV shows, and novels than I can even count. One half of the couple (usually a woman or girl) will be talking, and the other person (usually a guy) will suddenly lay an ol’ sloppy one on her mouth. Often times, she’s rambling about her insecurities, so some people think it’s cute when he kisses her, symbolically laying her worries to rest. Don’t worry, hon! There’s nothing to be insecure about! He likes you! There are two big problems with this. The first is that when someone is speaking, you shouldn’t cut them off; best case scenario, it’s rude. Of course, people cut each other off all the time in conversation, so that’s different. But when a character interrupts another character’s speech to kiss them, they are essentially prioritizing their sexual desires over the other person’s need to express themselves. It’s an action that has an agenda. Everyone wants to be truly listened to when they speak. So if, for example, we have a female character babbling about her insecurities, the male character should hear her out, and then respond to what she says. There is plenty of romantic potential in words — even more than in kisses, in my opinion. His response could still be a kiss after she’s finished speaking (as long as it’s not a rattlesnake-strike type of kiss that doesn’t give her a choice). However, we still have another problem: the female character’s self-confidence shouldn’t be contingent upon the male character’s opinion of her. In other words, a kiss from a guy, no matter how much she loves him, will not and should not heal her negative perception of herself. Not healthy. Real people and characters should accept themselves on their own terms rather than on the approval of others.
Sometimes, the sudden kiss will come in the middle of a female character’s angry rant. The male character thinks she’s cute or sexy when she’s angry, which can be frustrating and patronizing for anyone who voices their anger because they want to be listened to and taken seriously. But regardless of why the character is talking, the other character should stop kissin’ and start listenin’.
2) Female double standards
Women and girls often feel really uncomfortable when men objectify them and make comments on their bodies, so they call these men out — and rightfully so. They also call male authors out for only describing women in terms of their bodies and giving them very little, if any, personality. Once again, rightfully so. Unfortunately, in real life and in literature, there is a double standard here. It’s one thing to write an erotic novel in which bodies of every gender are described in explicit detail and with an express purpose. But I’ve read novels without any sexual content that go into so much detail about guys’ looks. And these male characters are often not well-developed, either (think of the stereotypical jock with a hot bod and no brain). Authors — especially female authors, who are usually the ones perpetuating this — need to do better than this. If it's not okay to do that to girls, it's not okay to do that to guys, either. Also, what is up with that scene from The Notebook? The one where Rachel McAdams repeatedly slaps Ryan Gosling because he’s breaking up with her. How on Earth is that okay? The Notebook is widely considered to be a super-romantic movie, but there is nothing romantic about that scene, and it should be a deal-breaker for their relationship. If the tables were turned and Ryan Gosling slapped Rachel McAdams for breaking up with him, the entire plot of the movie would be different. It would be a thriller, a story about a woman trying to escape a scary ex. We would never root for the two of them to get back together.
3) Overly-metaphorical sex scenes
Cheese, cheese, and more cheese. Would you like some crust and tomato sauce with all that cheese? So many novels shy away from the anatomical details and favor metaphors for how the sex makes the characters (or just the narrating character) feel. In theory, there is nothing wrong with this, but I personally tend to roll my eyes more often than not at the actual execution. The narrator will say something too dramatic, like “our bodies became one and the universe opened up before me.” Or “and then we were flying, soaring with and through one another.” Or something else that is just… not sexy. As far as being poetic, there isn’t anything special about those phrases, either. There is nothing wrong with describing sex as it really is. I realize that novels featuring sex that are aimed at young adults probably cannot describe things too explicitly, but there’s no need to replace dirty details with flowery language. Go for whatever sincerity you can in the situation. There are plenty of different emotions to mine and sensual details leading up to the actual sex that read more thrillingly than the sex scene itself. 
4)  Instalove
It's simply not as much fun to see characters fall for each other right away. And how could they possibly fall for each other right away, anyhow? Is it all about looks? If so, both characters are instantly less likable because they're shallow. And that's not real love, either. You need to actually know someone in order to feel a such a deep emotion for them.
It's also important to note that making the characters "love" each other at the outset of the story does not heighten the emotional stakes. It actually cheapens them. Because how can we take this so-called love seriously when we don't get to know, don't get to care about, the characters as individual people before they fall for each other?
Now, if we get to know each character and watch them get to know each other, and slowly fall for each other, that's much more rewarding.  It's character growth, and it's a whole process that we, as readers, get to experience vicariously though them.
This may just be a personal preference, but I think it's best to even avoid phrases like “my heartbeat skipped” or “my skin tingled when our hands brushed” in the beginning stages of the story. Even though the declarations of love and outright displays off affection may come later on, statements like these reveal instant attraction, which still isn't as rewarding as attraction that grows over time and through events.
5) Love interests being obsessed with each other
From approximately 2005-2015, YA literature saw a horde of books featuring teenage girls and boys who are everything to each other. I almost mean that literally. The first really popular book like this was Twilight, but it had a huge influence on everything in YA that came after, especially YA fantasy. How romantic, some people think, that hero lives for the heroine! And vice versa! Perfect! Meant to be! Everyone wishes they could have that one, true, perfect love! 
Listen. Go back to Britney Spears’s first album and play the song “Born to Make You Happy”: ”I don’t know how to live without your love, I was born to make you happy.” Solid 90s bubblegum pop, but with unhealthy lyrics. An unhealthy mentality. Most of us are familiar with that heady, all-consuming feeling of falling in love, how it feels like that’s the best and happiest part of life as it’s happening. There’s nothing wrong with portraying that. It’s relatable. The glorification of it beyond all else is the problem. The hero and heroine have scares throughout the story during which they almost lose each other, and that brings to light just how strongly they feel each other, to the extreme that nothing matters except each other. Then, of course, they ultimately end up together, happily ever after, never having to part again. But in real life, people break up, or sometimes even die. People have no choice but to be apart from the person they loved so much from then on. And it’s devastating, but it’s not the end, even if it sometimes feels like it. That’s why it’s so important for books to give some indicator that there are other things that matter besides (and dare I say even more than) the one person the hero/heroine is in love with. The characters have to have some sense of self-love or resilience. They have to have other people they care about, or at least values/principles and goals. They have to be an actual person, not just a vessel filled to the brim with love for just one other person. Romanticizing a co-dependent relationship can be hope-crushing message, especially for teenagers who haven’t had enough time to grow, to weather the storm of life and toughen up and become wiser and more self-aware and self-confident. 
7) The super dominant male love interest 
Okay, I’m not trying to kink-shame anyone because I know there are people who absolutely love this trope. I want to say it’s fine, as long as it remains in Tropeland. But even if women want to keep these love interests solely within their fantasies, I do worry about the message it sends to men, if it makes them think that they can be abusive douchebags because women are into that. I already know of far too many men who think that women are only into assholes. 
Personally, I’ll never understand the appeal of a man, fictional or otherwise, who dictates what a woman should wear, her food choices, where they go and what they do for dates ALL THE TIME. And jealousy! Sure, jealousy indicates that someone cares, and it’s a normal human emotion, but I’ll never understand the appeal of a guy who gets so jealous, he won’t allow his girlfriend any freedom. I’ll never understand how cruel, disparaging words could ever be on the same sexiness level as dirty talk. And I really, really will never understand how a man physically harming a woman could be considered sexy. It’s weak and cowardly, hurting someone who doesn’t stand a chance of fighting back because they’re nowhere near as strong.
I get the appeal of a guy who sees a woman as his equal and isn’t afraid to spar with her, challenge her, and maybe even be a little bit rough with her, knowing that she can handle it. I see the appeal of a confident man who isn’t afraid to tell a woman what he wants. When his presence becomes legitimately threatening and completely selfish, that’s when I personally see a problem. But hey, to each their own.
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laufire · 3 years
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your top 5 in spn: cas, ruby, bela, meg, rowena
Castiel
Everyone else: We Only Ship Castiel With That One Person.
Me, looking at the cast for SPN: I could write 100 different rareships for this guy.
(no, seriously. I was eyeing a prompt meme and came up with a list *hiddes in shame* xDD)
Suffice it to say the list could get long lmao. So I'm only going to list the "top" ones.
Meg. Otp among otps. You can tell because every time someone tries the "they're just/better off as friends" my teeth grind and I channel Spike's speech in Lover's Walk xDD
Bela. Yes, my runner up ship for him is one I entirely made up in my mind. But trust me, it's SO good *-*
Dean. Sometimes your fave has bad taste in men but you have to accept them as they are 😔
Sam. I also really enjoy polyships with the two of them (+Meg, + Bela, + Rowena).
Anna. They had those good ol' exes/ex-almost vibes and I'm still ??? at people insisting they read as siblings. Okay then.
The Empty. Hot Hades/Persephone shit aka Persephone's Revenge Arc potential. Always gets to me.
Max. I like Max, I think he's very pretty, and I think there could be a few interesting stories to tell there.
Balthazar. He was in love with Castiel and Castiel killed him. What's not to like.
Bartholomew. They were soldiers-with-benefits in the metaphorical trenches during Heaven's civil war. You can't convince me otherwise.
Rowena. Her appreciation of him is fun and I think, like with Max, that there could be a fun story to tell here.
Ruby. In the AUs where I have Ruby alive in s5 and living Lucy's side when she realizes he dgaf about demons, they are fuckbuddies in the Endverse. It's just a fact.
Crowley. It'd be higher if Crowley's character hadn't degenerated so much or worse, killed Meg. I liked them most during s6, althought I got some feels here and there in s10 and s12 when Crowley saved his life lol.
Gadreel. I enjoyed their dynamic.
Jo. They could've been cute.
Mick. I support how DTF he was. I also have a bit of a Castiel/Meg/Mick plotbunny thanks to tumblr.
Lucifer. In the sick-and-twisted area. I could write it.
Cecily. She's that demon that was "oohh, Castiel was SO HOT when he tore an angel's neck to steal his grace *-*". I support her too.
Anael. I haven't seen their big ep together but I enjoy the vibes. He gave her jewelry too. And she's such an amalgam of previous female characters while still being her own thing, personality-wise mainly Bela, that they give me a window into how that dynamic could have gone.
Ruby
Sam. Also team "otp among otps". INCREDIBLY formative. Betrayals, bloodsharing, caused lots of drama, shook things up... lovely.
Anna. I know they fucked some time between 4x10 and 4x21. It just had to happen.
Castiel. See above.
Lucifer. Especially as enemies.
No one that I've thought of yet. It could happen, as I get on with my Ruby Lives multi-part series *facepalms*
Bela
Castiel. See above.
Jo. Also another one that lives entirely on my own head but just you wait until I finish my damn WIP sometime this decade. Just you wait.
Sam. Nice dynamic, lots of possibilities. Great for Sam to canonically dream about eating her out.
Dean. Every time he spoke to him I wanted to punch him, but man, if it wasn't an interesting dynamic. It could've carried the show, if everyone involved hadn't been so stupid.
Meg
Castiel. And frankly, I think that's it xDD. It's who she wants, who am I to argue against it? I can enjoy the idea of a couple of polyships, as seen above, but. Megstiel. She loves him. You know?
Rowena
Sam. THEY WERE IT, MAN.
Castiel. See above. Also both as a polyship.
Chuck. I enjoyed their little moments in s11 IMMENSELY. When I heard the actors were dating, I went "ahaha! *I* won the parasocial crack ship game in this fandom!!" xDDD
Amara. She freed her and there were Vibes.
Charlie. That scene between the two of them in s10 was one of the very few moments Charlie managed to interest me, so.
Potentially other additional crack ships if I were to think about them, I'm sure. She has a lot of multishipping potential.
send me a character and i’ll list all the people i ship them with in order
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cherry3point14 · 4 years
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One Helluva Car
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Pairing: Dean x Reader Warnings: Minor car fetish, one paragraph of blink-and-you’ll-miss-it smut, a little jealous!Dean, this is crack babes’, I can’t stress this enough: car fetish Word Count: 3,500. Summary: Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world and then one day she sees Baby... A/N: @alexwinchester23​ hit me up a THOUSAND years ago with the prompt: dean x reader where she is more “in love” with deans car and it makes him a little jelly lol. And I was like, ha ha ha sure I’ll write it. It’s been half written ever since. So, I finished it. Someone please be proud of me for finishing. (Not like that you animals.)  This also fills Driving In The Impala for @spndeanbingo​
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It’s Monday lunchtime when you see it. Her? It looks like a her. The best cars are ‘hers’ and even from a distance, she has curves that only a good woman could possess.
You’ve had a morning of shitty, old trucks that have been run hard for too long, and new cars that you plug into the computer to diagnose, which takes all the fun out of life. It’s easy to see a mile off that she isn’t shitty or bogged down with modern tech. She’s a well looked after classic. A thing of beauty. A freaking masterpiece. She’s polished enough that the sun bounces off of her black surface like she’s made of glass.
If only your arms weren’t laden with brown paper bags of food you’d take a detour to get a closer look. You could ghost your hand over her hood and take a look at the interior. You bet it’s the softest fucking leather your ass would ever hope to feel.
You’d generally drool over her without actually drooling because God knows spit is not good for the paintwork. Unfortunately, you do have bags filled with hot, meaty subs intended to feed your workforce. And you’re wise enough to know that making a garage of hungry mechanics wait for their lunch is not a good move. It’ll only result in some sort of unnecessary disaster this afternoon that you, their boss, will have to fix or pay for. Or both.
The only thing you can do is take one last look at her, memorize that beautiful shape while you heft the bags closer to your chest and carry on walking. It’s not like you’ve never seen a good old fashion American muscle car before, you have your own ‘70 Mustang at home.
It’s just… this is a Chevvy Impala, arguably the first car to flex its muscles. You don’t see one of those every day.
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Your hobby is like a much cooler version of birdwatching. You have an appreciation for cars, classics in particular. The craftsmanship, the design, and the sounds they make as they tear through the world like moving time capsules. Nothing generated by a low emission engine compares.
That’s how you spot her for the second time, on Wednesday.
Well, you hear her first.
You’re closing up for the night. Everyone goes home early on Wednesdays, the shop closes at three, except for you. There’s always paperwork that needs to be done and you hate the idea of taking it home if you can help it. Taking a car home you’re always happy to do, but paperwork? You refuse to dirty your private space like that.
It’s just before six when you’re locking the doors and thunder screams in the distance. At least you think it’s thunder, you wonder where the clouds are until it moves too fast to be a weather condition.
The closer it gets the more the sound transforms into pure, uncut horsepower. It’s the deep rumble of an engine that demands to be heard. It tears your attention to it whether you like it or not. An announcement of the coming vehicle before it arrives.
Then she glides around the corner of Maple and Third before peeling down the street past you. It’s her again, she’s still in town. You know it’s the same car, she isn’t a vehicle made for stealth and your little ol’ town isn’t exactly heaving with beauties like her.
You know she’s not a local, it must be a flying visit, you’re lucky enough to have seen her again before she left. Not just seen her though, heard her. Heard her engine and the screech of her tires on the tarmac. Experiencing her in action is breathtaking enough that you gawp at her like an idiot as she zooms away.
It’s not a fetish or anything. You don’t exactly cuddle an exhaust pipe in bed. You appreciate cars more than your job requires you to, simple. It’s a respect that was drilled into you from a young age. Your dad owns a franchise of shops across the state and never had the boy he always wanted. He didn’t mope about it, he taught you to fix an engine instead. To appreciate every individual piece like an unsolved puzzle. And because your dad is a big ol’ softie he taught you that classic cars can’t be beaten, he favors Camaros in particular. He gave you a garage to work in until you’d labored enough to earn it for keeps and manage it as your own. Your dad raised you to bleed motor oil and sweat gasoline.
Cars are your life. Ok, maybe you’re a bit of a gearhead is all. You can’t help it if that Impala is a fine wine you want to uncork.
You watch the street lights make a hazy path for her to follow, another corner and she’s gone.
At home, you curl up on your sofa and scroll through your usual sites to see how much your own Impala would cost. In good condition, you’d have to sell one of the two cars you already have but there’s this smashed up ‘68 in New Jersey that might be worth the drive for the price. It would basically be a new car by the time you rebuild it but that doesn’t matter. All you needed were the bones of the thing and you never shy away from a project that involves weeks of hunting down original parts, that’s half the fun. For tonight at least it gets bookmarked. The decision left for another day, if it still seems like a good idea in the morning then you’ll make the call.
Hell, maybe tomorrow you’ll see something else and forget all about her. Maybe.
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Good looking guys come through town from time to time but Dean is a rare treat. He’s the picture next to ‘handsome’ in the dictionary. He’s got these full lips that you’ve stared at, without an ounce of shame, while he sucks on a beer bottle. A jawline covered in scruff that you’ve already imagined between your thighs. And then there are those hands of his. It could be your line of work but you always loved a man with hands like his. Broad hands and thick fingers. Mechanic hands you’d call them, you half wish they were covered in oil and grease.
He was tapping away on the bar for a while, drumming aimlessly while you drank, but now he’s toppled in your direction. He’s standing between his barstool and yours, while you're still seated, which makes you the perfect height for him to slip an arm around you. His thumb has settled in on tracing the edge of your jeans while he talks to you, tickling your back where your tank had ridden up.
Honestly? He doesn’t even need to be a good lay to be worth the trip to bed.
“I know you said you’re in town with your brother…”
He winces at the start of your sentence, “with the things I’m thinking about doing to you honey, you can’t go mentioning Sammy at the same time.”
Underneath the stained overalls, you’re still a woman and you’re not sure if there’s anyone alive who could resist Dean’s charms. When you laugh at his ridiculous propositioning, you don’t even try to fight when it tails off into a giggle.
“I was going to ask if you had your own room? Or are we going back to my place?”
You’d almost think he’d been playing it cool up until this point. Everything had been measured and smooth. But you ask him that and he finally cracks, urgency slips through that charm offensive. He tilts his head forward as his face hardens into something intense, eyes hooded under the light of the bar. His hand slides up underneath your top enough that his whole palm skates against your skin. “How about a compromise? My car, your place?”
You lean in until you’re almost touching his lips, your tongue peeks out to wet them and flicks against his, taunting. “Deal."
He doesn’t need to know that you walked here and needed a ride home anyway. That's irrelevant.
Stumbling out of the bar is messy. Not because of the alcohol, neither of you have drunk that much, it’s his hands on your waist. They’re possessive and so there.
Maybe he’s not so bad in bed. Maybe he’s actually, pretty good in…
Oh fuck. It’s her.
You’re stopped in your tracks by the sight of your very own white whale. Well, black and shiny Impala but the metaphor stands.
You stop and Dean bumps into you, not expecting it so soon. For a brief moment, you’re frozen in awe, reverence. Even in the dark, she’s perfect. Street lights bouncing off of her smooth exterior. The night is chilly and there’s a hint of condensation creeping around the edges of the windshield which only serves to make her sparkle.
“Wow, she’s-”
“Mine?” Dean finishes, a wry grin on his face and keys dangling from those fingers you’d been drooling over moments ago. Fuck him and his fingers now.
“Shit, Dean. I’ve been seeing this car all week. She’s beautiful.” You walk towards her, carefully, in case you spook her. She’s an old soul, probably jumpy. Your hand reaches out but doesn’t touch her yet because you’re being respectful.
You’d have thought Dean might have appreciated your care. Instead, he laughs and it catches you off guard. You whip your head back around to glare at him and he encourages you, “she won't bite.”
When you finally make contact she’s cool and glossy under your touch, but even so, you don’t run your hand over her like you want to. You can feel the waxed surface that you don’t want to ruin. You know how much effort goes into a good wax job like this. Instead, you trade your whole hand for your fingertips and trace her edges as if trying to remember her shape for when you rebuild your own.
“Ahem.” In the distance, Dean clears his throat. Sucks for him. You’ve got a new love interest.
“Sweetheart?” He asks again, stepping up closer to you as if you didn’t hear him. He sounds needy like he wants you, but it’s edged with this vulnerable envy. You already noticed his bright green eyes in the bar, now you're wondering if there’s a different green-eyed monster at play.
He needs to understand, you saw the car first. She’s held your heart all week, Dean piqued the interest of your lady parts about half an hour ago. You might say age before beauty but this Impala has Dean beat on both fronts, older and more beautiful.
“Where’d you get these rims, if I didn’t know better I’d almost say they’re original,” you spare him a glance over your shoulder. “But I do know better.”
He looks like he’s struggling with not having your full attention, you’d almost say he’s pouting. Then he sticks out his bottom lip and he's definitely pouting. He shuffles from foot to foot and steels his jaw. It makes it even more difficult for him then when you ask questions that he wants to answer. You can see the cogs turning where he’s trying to work out if he should encourage your interest or not. As much as he wants sex, in the end, the gearhead wins out.
“Fixed her up a lot over the years, found those in a junkyard if you believe it.” He steps up next to you now with a proud smile.
“I can believe it. I’ve seen the stuff people throw away. They’re perfect. Can I?” You slide out your phone and wave it at him.
He nods, although a little dumbstruck.
You bend down and snap a picture, explaining. “I was looking at a sixty-eight to rebuild, maybe. Actually, yours gave me the idea, saw her and couldn’t get her out of my head. I have a friend who might be able to help me out with these.”
“You wanna build one?” He sounds interested but not enough to get him off track. The track being you.
“Yeah. I told you I’m a mechanic. Building these things is in my blood.”
The air is cool and you start to feel it, not having intended being outside this long. He sees you shiver and steps behind you running his hands up and down your arms. “Sixty-eight ain’t a sixty-seven though, is it?” He asks, voice dripping with cocky arrogance about his car.
Oh, fuck. He’s figured out the way to your heart. He’s got you all turned around and leaning against her. Back pressed against her metal and glass enough that you’ll be feeling her for weeks.
“No, it’s not…”
“Wanna ride my Baby?” Dean presses his lips to the corner of your mouth with the question, leaving enough space for you to let out an almost inaudible gasp.
You’d be inclined to say men name their cars the dumbest shit sometimes but ‘Baby’ fits somehow. It’s perfect. She’s Baby.
“Yeah,” you nod. Right now, it's all you’ve ever wanted.
He walks you to the passenger’s side door and opens it’s for you. It’s not even romantic, it’s a fucking turn on.
Maybe you do have a car fetish. You should probably figure that out, like, another day.
In the time it takes Dean to strut to the other side you have sunk into the leather and just as you imagined, it’s soft. Worn and loved, like everything else about this beauty. This is what’s makes her special and that’s why you would have to love your own extra hard. To make up the years of neglect.
“Ready to go?”
He’s looking at you, smirking in your peripheral, and you’re looking at his fingers on the keys. You know what’s going to happen when he turns them. You’re still not prepared.
“Let’s do it.” A grin slides onto your face.
She rumbles to life beneath you. The vibrations from her engine shudder through the seat straight to your core. From there you swear the horsepower zips to every nerve ending in your body like electricity powering a city. And the sound could strike you down. She somehow purrs and roars at the same time. Each rev is a scream but her engine sings between each turn.
“Two eighty-three?” You ask, bottom lip caught behind your teeth.
“Get out of here with that two eighty-three crap. She’s a three twenty-seven.” He snaps, but not really, pressing his foot on the gas again just to see you quiver. Another rotation of the engine, her power, rolls through you.
He pulls out onto the road, leaving the dive behind, and drifts a little as he does, the back of her floating into the road. You slide over the seat an inch and he’s half focused on you, half focused on driving, so you're not even sure if he planned it. You scoot closer to him and he weighs his arm, the one not currently steering, around your shoulders. You’re becoming increasingly aware that the car smells like him, or he smells like her. Leather, sweet and spicy, musky. It’s a complicated mix where you’re not sure whether it's more her or him. You want to wrap yourself up in it all the same but Baby can’t wrap you up, Dean can.
“Dean I… Next left… I really, really love this car.”
He licks his lips as he looks down at you, his pupils wide, probably has a clear view of your chest, “yeah? How much, sweetheart?”
“A lot.” You pant in his ear, teeth grazing his lobe. “Second right, then it’s the third house on the left.”
A growl comes out of him. Determined. And you’re not so sure you care about fucking Dean anymore but each time you work him up a little higher, he revs that gorgeous engine and you get to feel that thunder. It’s the best circle jerk you could imagine, everyone is truly happy.
He pulls up in front of your house in record time because Baby is gunning 285 horsepower, so she’s not exactly going to be beat.
The problem, that you hadn’t really planned on, is arriving at your destination. As soon as he cuts the engine you puncture. Missing the everything about her straight away and wishing you’d kept driving for hours. Still, you have the scent of leather everywhere, burdening your senses with the smell of a bygone era. You hike a leg over Dean and sit in his lap. A knee either side of his thighs, denting her seats and Baby’s steering wheel holding the curve of your ass. Your hands skip Deans’ shoulders in favor of the seat behind him, the cushioned bench under the pads of your fingers, as you attach your mouth to his. Sandwiched between Baby and Dean, and you never want to leave the spot.
Your tongue curls into his mouth at the same time that he presses his fingers into your hips so tight you’re sure there’ll be bruises. You’ve never worried about a tight grip on you before but he starts pulling you towards him and away from where you’re wedged on Baby. The more you lean your body into Dean, the less you feel his car.
“Baby.” You murmur into him. Dean must mistake it to be a pet name you’re borrowing, calling him, because he pulls you again. Actually you’re telling him where you want to be, to stay.
Here. With Baby.
“This is a nice neighborhood.” He hums in this tone that’s deep but it doesn’t go through you like the sound of a turbo V-8. “We should take this inside.”
He’s right. Carl from the damn neighborhood watch is probably already doing just that, watching. The pervert.
“Right, sure.” You agree despite the way your stomach drops at the thought of leaving her.
You’re all untangling limbs getting out and he kisses you once more against Baby before you allow him to drag you away. It already feels different, normal, boring.
Dean’s fine, he’s good, he’s handy. Like you’d thought he would be.
You wrap your mouth around his dick because you’ve always liked looking up through your lashes and seeing the way a guy goes breathless on your tongue. He works you open on his thick fucking fingers until the pressure in your stomach snaps with his thumb circling your clit. He pushes into you and the stretch, the burn, is perfect. Dean is better in bed than you’d expected him to be.
And yet, it’s empty. Dulled. It doesn’t scratch the itch like good sex used to. The whole experience dampened compared to what you’d felt sitting in the front seat of his 1967 Chevy Impala.
You slip on some oversized shirt from your floordrobe to walk him out when he leaves. Neither of you under any impression that he’s staying the night. He’s got this satisfied grin on his face that he hasn’t been able to wipe off since the first time he came. He stops at your doorstep, “thanks, sweetheart. This was fun.”
“Sure was,” you agree, not giving him the full story. Standing at your doorway you’re looking at Baby instead of Dean, again. “Let me know if you’re still in town tomorrow, I’d love to go for another ride.”
He nods and backs away a few steps until he’s in your line of sight along with his car, “will do, baby.”
He must think you mean sex. You wouldn't be opposed to it but you mean a drive. A real drive with wide roads, and opening the taps. You can break that to him tomorrow if he does give you that call. If he doesn't then there's only one thing you need to say before he leaves. One thing you can't let her leave without saying.
“One helluva car you got there, Dean.”
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Second A/N: Look, this didn’t start out as a full on car fetish but I was writing it and SOMETIMES I HAVE NO CONTROL. Sometimes these characters they say, “fuck you!” and do what they want. I was going to write a nice little jealousy thing. Dean wants some attention. That’s all. You only have yourselves to blame readers!
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5eva tags: @divadinag @darthdeziewok @fluentinfiction @witch-of-letters @supernatural-teamfreewill-blog @magnitude101999 @alexwinchester23 @jesseswartzwelder Dean babes: @thewinchesterchronicles @akshi8278 @bloodydaydreamer @iamabeautifulperson18 @erins-culinary-service
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ducktracy · 3 years
Text
182. little red walking hood (1937)
release date: november 6th, 1937
series: merrie melodies
director: tex avery
starring: elvia allman (little red walking hood, granny), tedd pierce (wolf), mel blanc (elmer)
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buckle up! this is a “lengthy prologue” piece!
perhaps one of tex avery’s most formative cartoons in his career. little red walking hood serves as the first fairy tale spoof of his, a genre that would pop up time and time again in his warner bros. cartoons and even over at MGM (perhaps most famously the red hot riding hood series). not only that, but it’s the first cartoon to debut a purely comic villain—villains in previous pictures had comedic touches, of course, but the wolf (voiced by story man tedd pierce, whose vocals are quite underrated—you may recognize him as tom dover from the dover boys at pimento university) is purely made out to be a rather pathetic, unscrupulous adversary from the very beginning.
even more interesting is that the bulk of the cartoon’s backgrounds are done entirely in colored pencils, by avery background artist johnny johnson, who moved with him to MGM when tex left WB in 1941. the handling on the backgrounds are nothing short of stellar! they truly accentuate the “fairy tale” look and feel of the piece.
maybe the most notable, however, is the debut of tex’s third character of 1937: elmer fudd. i covered this in my review of egghead rides again, and you can read more into the differences between egghead (another 1937 avery character) and elmer here, but the bulbous nosed, derby hat donning little man traipsing around with his guitar case is our favorite befuddled hunter. many have labeled this guy as egghead, and understandably so—they’re eerily similar in more ways than one, and “prototype elmer fudd” is much more monotonous than “egghead”, but this is indeed our favorite little hunter! humble beginnings for sure.
the film burlesques the age-old story of little red riding hood, complete with katherine hepburn little red riding hoods, gin guzzling grannies, nonthreatening wolves, fourth wall breaks, and mysterious whistling men.
already, the cartoon marks an intriguing open, with the title card playing into the action itself: the title card serves as the title of a book, opening to divulge the fractured fairy-tale before us. a cliche, sure, and it was one even by 1937, but with tex avery at the helm, audiences can be reassured that it’s all tongue in cheek. “the mean old wolf was lurking in a nearby pool hall” asserts as such.
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indeed, the mean old wolf was lurking in a nearby pool hall--or, rather, cheating. he pulls the lever of a pinball machine, lifting up the machine and tilting it so as to guide the ball in the right hole. the animation of the wolf is spaced and timed nicely, with just enough urgency to convey his commitment to cheating. sticking his tongue out in concentration is a nice plus as well. the drawings themselves aren’t the most pleasing, consisting primarily of mathematically proportioned circles and spheres, but such is life. 
close up on the pinball itself circling around the jackpot hole, teetering away to the “OUT” hole at the last second. a minute in, and we already see that this villain is far removed from the mustache twirling, cape-hugging villains that dominated earlier cartoons. instead, we know that this wolf is a loser. carl stalling’s constipated rendition of “old king cole” adds a nice level of sardonic commentary to the wolf’s authority (or lack thereof).
little red riding hood strolling outside the pool hall easily distracts the wolf from his oncoming tantrum. like red hot riding hood 6 years later, the wolf here is instantly charmed, catcalling and preparing to pounce. off-putting as this may seem at first glance, considering little red riding hood is, well, a child, the kicker is that here, she serves as an imitation of katherine hepburn, in both mannerisms and dialect. so, rather than dealing with a naive, innocent girl on her way to grandma’s house, we’ve instead got a hollywood star with her nose in the air, haughtily avoiding the wolf’s advances. (of course, catcalling grown women isn’t any better, but just as a note to dispel any confusion.)
the wolf drives alongside snooty little red in his pompous jaundice-stricken limo, his advances getting nowhere. time to pull out the big guns:
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his license plate, reading 0-7734, flips upside down to spell “hello”, with the taillight opening and closing to simulate a wink. clever indeed! it’s some interesting food for thought to imagine how much more exaggerated in speed and tone this gag would have been had this cartoon been made at mgm, though  i suppose red hot riding hood answers that question.
ignored once more, the wolf opts to halt the car and hassle red himself. “hello, pretty girl! going my way, babe?”
irv spence’s animation is the most appealing all throughout the picture, and his scenes of red here are no exception. the underrated elvia allman provides red’s katherine hepburn impression--tex LOVED his hepburn impressions, and they would bubble up in his cartoons time and time again. the gag itself would have been much more riotous 83 years ago than it is now, but even then, the idea of little red riding hood speaking with such a sophisticated and haughty tone is enough to be funny. 
the contrast between the wolf’s sneering vocals and red’s lengthy speech couldn’t be better. red instantly puts the wolf in his place: “rea-lly, in this modern age of flaming youth, the girl has to put up with such embarrassing situations. rea-lly, we do, don’t we, girls? two thirds of you girls out there have gone through just what i’m going through now. you know how it is, don’t you, girls?” amen to that, sister! (bob clampett would play off of this in his swan song, the big snooze, as an elmer fudd in drag asks the girls in the audience how they deal with such harassment.) spence’s animation is visually appealing in design and also just plain funny.
despite red’s blatant dismissal of his advances, the wolf continues to persue her, tipping his hat as he approaches a stoplight. the stoplight opts to give him a good dose of karma as the light turns from green to red, the “STOP” flag popping out and giving the wolf a nice whack in the face.
however, the wolf has more important matters than glaring at a pesky stoplight—offscreen whistling catches his ears.
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irv spence animates the stupendous, colossal, magnificent debut of elmer fudd as he struts across the street, blatantly interrupting the flow of the picture. his slow, carefree movements, the wolf’s visual contempt, and the exclusion of background music altogether accentuate elmer’s interruption. purposeful innocuousness and tastefully so!
back to the wolf at the stoplight, the “GO” sign providing one more whack in the face for good measure. wolf speeds off to hassle his victim even more.
as we’ve seen before, the song portion of merrie melodies has largely been dropped around this time, with little blurbs of songs serving as loose substitutes. here, said substitute is “gee, but you’re swell,” sung in a talk-songy drawl by tedd pierce as he relentlessly struggles to charm red. pierce’s vocals are hilarious, especially contrasted with the closeup of red blatantly ignoring his egotistical remarks. she gives him the cold shoulder, icicles logically forming to accentuate the metaphor. a standard gag, but it juxtaposes so well against the wolf’s inane dribble in the background that it’s hard to roll your eyes too strongly at it.
so caught up in inflating his own ego, the wolf fails to notice the approaching mailbox on the sidewalk, which delivers a hearty reality check as he konks his head against it. red urges him to leave her alone, bidding him goodbye with a haughty “scram, romeo, scram!”
our beloved hero, the whistling, intrusive elmer fudd conveniently pops out of the mailbox, toting a sign pointing directly to grandma’s house. the malice from before at fudd’s presence is gone, replaced by gratitude from the wolf. he peels off down the alley, his limo snaking around every curve. both this and the random appearance of elmer are precursors to tex avery staple gags, especially his time at MGM. amazing how formative a single cartoon can be!
at the beginning, i said that “the bulk of” the cartoon’s backgrounds are done in colored pencil. the pan of backgrounds while the wolf is driving to grandma’s house, whizzing past a hitchhiker elmer in the process, are done in paint. the backgrounds are still just as gorgeous! yet the change does serve as a little food for thought.
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like always in a tex avery cartoon, his comedic timing is succint: wolf finally pulls up to grandma’s house, elmer nonchalantly chilling on the back tire--despite the wolf’s purposeful disregard for him on the street, making a point to gun the car past him. the matter of factness of the gag is solid. the cartoon’s main priority is breaking the fourth wall rather than telling a story, yet in this case, that’s a good thing. it’s done well and with awareness.
mr. wolf approaches the doorstep of grandma’s abode, knocking on the door many more times than necessary with a hilariously inflated level of sophistication. he breaks his smooth, cool façade to guffaw a radio catchphrase (this time from the al pearce show): “i hope ol’ grandma’s home, i hope, i hope, i hope, i hope, i hope...” this catchphrase would be found in more short than one, bubbling up in a number of bob clampett porky cartoons as well.
an elderly “who’s there?” answers the wolf’s knocks from behind the door. the wolf puts on his best falsetto, cooing “it’s me! little red riding habit!”
we get a glimpse of granny from behind the door, who opens the little door window to see her guest. realizing that she’s met face to face with the wolf, who jabs his mug through the window, granny is quick to slam the door shut, bursting out into an impromptu rendition of “river, stay ‘way from the door” (sung as “wolf, stay ‘way from my door”.) the random song intervention clues us in that granny is in on the fourth wall-breaking as well--the delivery of the gag is quite similar to the mama parrot from i wanna be a sailor bursting into a rendition of “old black joe”.
irv spence takes over as the wolf struggles to pry the door open. suddenly, he freezes in his tracks at the sound of the telltale, offscreen whistling--elmer has arrived. the befuddled stare from the wolf as he watches elmer nonchalantly strut into granny’s house, opening the door without any hint of struggle, is priceless, as is his face-gripping agony. irv spence is tex’s best animator for a reason!
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as a last resort, the wolf body slams himself into the door. little red riding hood has now turned into a tale of the three little pigs. he overestimates his own strength, and ends up darting inside, yet he stumbles backwards from the impact and trips backwards throughout the entire layout of the house. the gag is reminiscent of a similar gag from i only have eyes for you, an early 1937 avery entry--another elvia allman voiced elderly woman chases a hapless victim through the house, both of them gliding along a vertical pan set up exactly like this one. this is funny already here, but imagine the speed and lengths this gag would have been inflated to had tex completed this cartoon at MGM! 
granny is on the offense. the wolf barrels through the kitchen, where she’s standing on guard with the kitchen door. she opens the door, allows the wolf to barrel on out, and locks it shut. granny: 1, wolf: 0. 
cue a tired gag that’s been around since the bosko days (and beyond): wolf rams into a tree, shrinking up into his bowler hat. bowler hat runs around aimlessly with big ol’ shoes sticking out until he finally manages to free himself. the animation of the wolf being freed from the bowler hat IS rather nice--the accordion style wrinkles and folds serve as a precursor to some wild animation later on. it reminds me particularly of rod scribner’s animation in bob clampett’s cartoons.  
on the topic of gags old and new, the wolf engages in a gag that would be reused in a number of cartoons, including avery’s thugs with dirty mugs just two years later. the wolf grabs the doorknob, physically pulling it back and letting it shoot up against the door. the window panes thusly light up in a flurry of changing, rapid light squares: four yellow diagonal squares align, and the wolf is granted entrance into the house, triumphant fanfare and all. seems the wolf doesn’t need to cheat to win at pinball (doorknob-ball?) after all! if you look closely, you’ll see that the double exposures still linger as the wolf darts past the door and into the house.
cue the great fight: wolf v. granny. wolf aimlessly chases granny through the kitchen, both of them climbing on the furniture, granny whooping and hollering all the way. the phone rings, delaying their chase--granny hops on the chair to answer the phone, taunting the wolf: “ah-ah,” she chides, displaying her crossed fingers of immunity, “king’s x!” the deliberate time-out and show-stopping is great. this cartoon is filled to the brim with interruptions and halts, yet they don’t at all feel overused or banal. tex was a master of his craft.
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granny takes the call while the wolf glowers on impatiently. more fourth-wall breaking as granny begs the audience for forgiveness: “will you people pardon me just a minute? let me see now, one dozen eggs... it’s the grocer, folks...” elvia allman’s vocals are excellent, conveying that comedic awkwardness with a great balance of authenticity and cheekiness. the head tilt indicating the phone as she talks to the audience is another plus.
tedd pierce’s vocals aren’t to be overlooked, either. his “AW, C’MON, GRANDMA!!!” is the perfect topper as granny rambles on the phone. she ends her call by sneering “and a case of gin!” to the grocer before hanging up and telling the audience the chase is back on (”heeeere we go again!”)
granny seeks refuge in the closet, the wolf greeted by elmer again as he opens the door. instead of fighting it, the wolf just heaves a dubious shrug towards the audience. irv spence animation once again--he draws the wolf’s eyes in a comparatively distinct manner. the irises are much smaller than the work of the other animators.
the wolf darts inside the closet, where he finds a conveniently placed nightgown hanging near the door. he looks under the skirt, prompting a disembodied hand to smack him in the face for such uncouth behavior. now confused, the wolf opts to peer into one of the sleeves, where granny’s hand pops out to squeeze and honk his nose daffy duck style.
their game of cat and mouse (or is it wolf and granny?) is interrupted by knocking on the front door, and the telltale, floaty voice of “it is i, red riding hood, grandmother!”
cue panic mode. the wolf hurriedly asks granny to give him “the stuff”, and she offers her bonnet, glasses, and shawl with a sense of camaraderie. this is entirely a performance, not a retelling of a story. these characters are hyper-aware actors who are not what they portray. 
tex’s speed, from the wolf finding granny to her offering her clothes to him diving in granny’s bed, flows incredibly well. everything happens all at once! there’s hardly any time to breathe. the urgency of the situation is very much alive and real, but also playfully so. the whole cartoon feels like a game of hide and seek in a way.
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thus, we’re treated to the old routine that everyone knows, with red inquiring about the wolf’s “large optics” and “large schnozzola”. even she understands the overplayed nature of her performance, halting midsentence to quip at the audience “rather childish and a bit silly, don’t you think?” while the scene does drag, it’s purposeful and successful at doing so. there’s a noticeable contrast between the pacing of this scene and the scenes prior.
yet, in no-time, we’re back to the adrenaline rush, with the wolf lunging out of the bed and chasing a shrieking red. tedd pierce’s vocal talents are not to go undermined--he’s genuinely fun to listen to. interestingly, he didn’t write this cartoon--cal howard did. who, i may add, dabbled in a little bit of voice acting himself, voicing gabby goat in get rich quick porky!
irv spence takes over for the remainder of the cartoon, and his animation is gorgeous all the way. the wolf corners red, who swings haymakers at him, stopping only to gloat towards the audience “silly way to make a living, don’t you think?” such a stark contrast at the drop of a hat! predictable, perhaps, but who can be mad at it? this is a very likable cartoon. while all of the warner bros. directors of this period are quite talented, it most certainly belongs under tex avery’s name--think of how different in demeanor and timing this would be as a frank tashlin cartoon (who DID rival tex in terms of speed), a friz freleng cartoon, and a bob clampett cartoon. with tex, it’s in good hands.
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the brawl continues, only to be halted by another interruption. no, it’s not because of offscreen whistling! signaling for red to stop, the wolf casts a steely glower at the figure of two silhouettes moving across the screen, sneering snide remarks--late moviegoers who interrupt the flow of the cartoon. provided my memory serves me correctly, this is the first WB cartoon to integrate rotoscoping. it was a technique invented by max flesicher in 1915, where animators would trace over live action footage, frame by frame.
tex would use this countless times, both at WB and MGM. his efforts pay off even now, watching this on a laptop screen, but just IMAGINE the impact this would have in a packed, dark theater, where even the CARTOON CHARACTERS stop to ridicule the audience! imagine just how revolutionary that was the first time this was showed! what an absolute riot! tex was a genius. the characters truly feel alive and with us. this was a very real problem, too, and a timeless one--someone scooching past you in the all too narrow row, bumping your knees, spilling their popcorn on you in the process... the characters on screen connect with the audience, bonding over a universal occurrence. imagine just how much of an uproar this would cause back then in theaters. genius!
after the wolf is done guilt-tripping his latecomers, the fight continues for a few seconds more, halted once again by the fudd himself, strolling across the screen. finally, the wolf reaches his breaking point: “hey BUD! hey, just a minute, bud! now, who the HECK are you, anyway?”
mr. fudd guffaws his first words in a stereotypical dopey drawl: “who, me?” note how his eyes open for a change! he opens his guitar case, where a mallet is carefully stored inside. not a beat is wasted as he knocks the wolf over the head with the mallet, elmer remarking in his hayseed voice “huh huh huh huh, i’m the HERO in this picture!”
iris out...
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or so we think.
what a game changing piece of animation. this isn’t the tex avery cartoon to beat all cartoons by any means, but it packs a lot of weight. it’s extremely formative in tex’s career. numerous gags--such as the rotoscoped silhouettes, the stretching limo hugging the curves on the street, the constant wall-breaking and interruptions--and even story structures (think of all of the countless fairy tale parodies that came after this!) would be used not just by tex, but by his friends and colleagues, whether at WB or elsewhere. 
in the grand scheme of things, the plot is barebones. the wolf goes to grandma’s house. the wolf chases little red riding hood. that’s really all it is. yet it’s the details what give it substance, and the purposeful delivery of such. this isn’t a faithful retelling of a beloved story, that’s out the window. these characters are hyper-aware characters essentially massacring an old fairy tale. yet its the conviction of such that makes it so strong. it’s not really a “haha, look, i broke the fourth wall, i’m instantly funny! show’s over” deal--it’s just riding that momentum and expanding the picture on it. “oh, the story keeps getting interrupted. okay. let’s continue to interrupt it and make the characters increasingly aware of such, with the reasons for interruption growing more and more bizarre.”
while this isn’t nearly as bizarre as tex’s later pieces at MGM, it’s a great start. WB wasn’t completely free of its disney influence. pieces like these further remove the disney influence for sure, but 1937 is still very early on. this is such a game-changer in comparison to previous cartoons. 
tex’s dry-spell is over, and cartoons are on the upswing from here. things are going to get real funny and real loony. i definitely urge you to go watch this cartoon--it’s not the most revolutionary piece of animation on the planet, but it’s a wonderfully funny cartoon that still holds up today, and it serves as an interesting comparison point for future cartoons.
you can go watch it on HBO max, or you can check it out right here! enjoy!
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makeste · 4 years
Text
BnHA Chapter 252: Suplex of Feels
Previously on BnHA: Deku, Kacchan, and Shouto visited Todobrook Heights one time, just the one!!, so of course it just so happened to also be the one time that Natsuo got straight up kidnapped by a villain for no reason because THAT’S JUST HOW LIFE GOES. Thankfully for Natsuo, the Terror Trio had kind of a Cinderella thing going on where if they didn’t beat a villain before Endeavor by midnight, their character development would turn back into a pumpkin, and I’m not really sure I stuck the landing on that metaphor but anyway! So Shouto used Flashfire to roast the villain alive, Deku used Blackwhip to save some hapless civilians who got caught in the crossfire of everything, and Kacchan used his cool fast explosions which don’t have a new name yet because he’s focused on more important things to rocket over and save Natsuo from becoming roadkill. And then Endeavor gave him and Natsuo a BIG OL’ HUG and my heart went, oh.
Today on BnHA: Horikoshi grabs a handful of raw, squishy feels out of a bucket and just full on slaps me across the face with them. Endeavor has a moment of agonizing, excruciating vulnerability and apologizes to Natsuo for everything -- like, everything -- and says Natsuo doesn’t have to forgive him, and that in fact he doesn’t want him to forgive him, and that he just wants to atone for everything he’s done. And just, I can’t even describe the scene, but it’s just perfect down to the last detail, and exactly what I wanted. And meanwhile Deku, Shouto, and Kacchan stand there watching, and then Kacchan has a fucking epiphany and FINALLY DECIDES ON A HERO NAME!!, and I completely lose my goddamn mind, only to then be brought down to the lowest of lows when he immediately says that he’s not going to reveal it yet because THERE’S SOMEONE ELSE HE HAS TO TELL FIRST. So once I’m done sighing, we cut to later and Endeavor is all “Fuyumi I’m gonna buy a house for you guys so you can all live a happy life with your mom and never see me again,” and yeah. You guys I am in shambles.
hey everyone, whoever is doing Mangastream’s thumbnails every week deserves a raise though
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especially since they’re not actually getting paid for it at all lol. their resolve to find the most ridiculous Kacchan expression every week and slap it on their home page is 100% a labor of love. AND IT SHOWS
lol and here I was half-worried the chapter would pick up after all the dust had settled, and we’d miss out on this glorious scene of Kacchan acting like he’s the goddamn wicked witch of the west and the sprinklers just turned on. anyways, I know what I’m thankful for this holiday
HAHAHAHAHA
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I’D LIKE TO TAKE A MINUTE AND THANK ALL OF OUR SPONSORS AND OUR GREAT CREW WHO MADE THIS ALL POSSIBLE. SHOUT OUT TO ENDING, YOU’RE THE REAL MVP. BIG “HEY WHAT’S UP” TO TOUYA, WHO STRAIGHT UP DIED JUST SO ENDEAVOR COULD HAVE ANGST AT A CRITICAL MOMENT AND FORCE KACCHAN TO BE THE ONE TO SAVE NATSUO INSTEAD. AND A HUGE FUCKING “YOU THE MAN, BRO” TO THAT MORON SPEEDING BLINDLY IN THE TAXI CAB WHILE ON HIS PHONE AND NOT PAYING THE SLIGHTEST BIT OF ATTENTION TO THE ROAD IN FRONT OF HIM! WITHOUT YOUR RECKLESS DISREGARD FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY AND THAT OF OTHERS, THIS NEVER COULD HAVE HAPPENED. OH GOD, THEY’RE PLAYING THE MUSIC NOW, I GOTTA HURRY UP... AH... I’M SO GRATEFUL TO ALL MIGHT, GIVER OF SO MANY LEGENDARY HERO HUGS, AND TO SLIDIN’ GO, YES REALLY SLIDIN’ GO, WHO ESTABLISHED THIS GAG BACK IN CHAPTER 219. YOU BOTH WALKED SO ENDEAVOR COULD RUN. AND LAST BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST, TO HORIKOSHI KOUHEI, WHO IS ABSOLUTELY FUCKING DETERMINED TO HAVE EVERY PRO HERO IN THE COUNTRY HUG KACCHAN BEFORE THE SERIES IS OVER. YOUR TIRELESS EFFORTS ARE THE REASON I GET OUT OF BED EVERY MORNING. GOD BLESS YOU ALL AND GOOD NIGHT
anyway
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sorry Kacchan this is just your life now. you’re just stuck here. by the way, Endeavor really is just an absolute MOUNTAIN of a man, though?? like, a whole, absolute unit. like remember a few chapters ago when I was joking about how he was eight feet tall? well Natsuo is 5’11” according to the wiki, and you can tell by looking at him that he is a solidly built guy. like, he eats his fucking Wheaties. and Endeavor is still able to FULLY WRAP HIS ARMS AROUND both him and Katsuki together WITH ROOM TO SPARE and just. ?????? WHAT EVEN IS THIS MAN good grief
anyway poor Natsu looks close to passing out though so maybe you fucking should let them go Endeav
SDLFKJSDLFKH
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1) seriously though look at how big his hands are jesus christ is he even a human!?!?
and 2)!! the amount of sheer detail which was put into this panel, with the facial expressions and the shading and all, only for Katsuki to open his big fucking mouth with ABSOLUTELY NO REGARD! like, this could have been one of the most heartrending panels in the entire series. but instead it’s forever immortalized with Bakugou fucking Katsuki and his brutal fucking speech bubble interjecting with the most vicious insult his angry toddler brain could think of. this panel has the same energy as Deku receiving a heartfelt thank you letter from a child whose life he saved only to unfold it and read that iconic opening line, “SORRY FOR PUNCHING YOU IN THE BALLS LOL”
oh my
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boy took matters into his own hands. after Enji just STRAIGHT UP IGNORED HIS PLEAS lmao. this entire chapter is a gift, and we’re only on the second page. also that katakana there is all “SUPON”, which I don’t know what that means, but I have to tell you that to me this felt more like a “ZWOOP.” but that’s just how I personally read it
eyyyyy and there’s our half-naked lukewarm boi
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and look, I’m not advocating for Shouto to actually be walking around half naked, because this is a children’s manga and Shouto is just a baby, and that kind of thing is obviously inappropriate unless you’re [checks notes] one of his female classmates, who just like Shouto are also only teenagers, but it’s okay for them because they have boobs. hey wait
but anyway, I will say that I appreciate that his uniform really did burn off just as you would expect, and that he used his ice quirk to preserve his modesty lol. quick thinking on his part
meanwhile all the people Deku rescued are stumbling out of their cars nauseously and thanking him. I like how all of the other traffic on this highway has apparently just come to a halt now. I wonder if the Endeavormobile also came equipped with some traffic cones and road flares that launched out of the trunk along with the costumes
oh hey a BakuDeku interaction, don’t mind me, I’m just... [folds hands on desk and leans forward]
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someone please tell me what he actually called Deku here because I’m dying to know. anyways whatever it was, “dumb-ku” is a great translation. it’s just the right amount of stupid and immature, and I love how Deku just fucking answers to it anyway like shrug, whatever
also love how the first thing Katsuki asks is whether anyone is hurt. swear to god this kid makes me love him more with each passing week
fond sigh
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okay guys, I’m getting more and more excited here now, and let me explain why. it’s because Katsuki, despite having achieved (as Deku points out) a complete and perfect victory here, is very obviously agitated and angry still. and I think the reason for that is because even though he’s achieved the goal Endeavor set out for them, he still hasn’t achieved what he wanted from this internship. the other two have! Deku accomplished his goal of gaining more control over Blackwhip, and Shouto is now well on his way to mastering Flashfire. but Katsuki specifically came here with the intent of discovering something intangible that he couldn’t put a name to. and even though he’s gotten stronger just like the others, he still hasn’t achieved what he set out to do yet, and I think he’s getting frustrated by it. and the reason I’m so excited is because I think we’re inching closer and closer to seeing that finally get resolved. ahhhhhhh
(ETA: THIS CHAPTER IS THE MONKEY’S PAW WISH OF CHAPTERS.)
anyway I’ll shut up now and read. here’s Katsuki bragging to Endeavor, and Endeavor doing his best All Might impression what the fuck
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that line could have come straight out of All Might’s mouth and it would have sounded 100% natural. well everyone, we did it. we fucking broke Endeavor. I hope you’re happy. lol what the fuck is happening what is this
DFKLSLDGHK
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I fucking see those wobbly speech bubbles Endeavor, are you crying, because -- !! holy shit this chapter is taking my emotions all over the place
lol Kacchan’s pissed off that Endeavor isn’t more pissed off about being shown up by some punk kids
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Deku’s eyes. this chapter. I just
ohhhhhhhhhhhh shit here we go
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for everyone out there who was worried that Natsu would just forgive Endeavor outright after the events of this chapter, I think we’ve arrived at the part where your fears are assuaged. I pretty much expected this was how it would go down, because for all the criticism he’s been getting week after week, Horikoshi has been writing the Todorokis realistically and consistently throughout this entire arc, and this was the natural conclusion based on what we’ve seen up till now. Natsuo won’t just forgive Endeavor just like that, because why would he? and Endeavor just has to deal with it. and it’s all very sad and painfully real
SON OF A BITCH
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the fucking words “I’m sorry” really just came out of his mouth at last, holy shit. this is the first time, right? as far as I can recall, anyway. oh shit
oh shit
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my fucking jaw. just dropped. just. fuck me, I wasn’t ready for this. sure Enji, just go ahead and pour your heart out. lord
imagine if his voice actor goes all out in this scene like Katsuki’s did in episode 61. holy shit, I never thought the thing that destroyed me would be a sad confession in a fucking shounen manga by the character I used to despise. life is funny
ohhhhhhhhhh
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[awkward glance around the fandom] soooo. how’s everybody doing? aheh. [coughs]
oh shiiiiiiIIIIItttt
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oh look at that, Endeavor didn’t actually murder his child, who could have predicted that. but maybe I’ll just shut up now though since I’m not here to start any shit
and the pain train to feels junction just keeps on chugging. fuck
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YOU SEE!! BRUTAL!! RUTHLESS!! SO REALISTIC IT HURTS. Endeavor is genuinely sorry, but it’s all coming way too late to be of any use! and Natsuo is so pained because he honestly probably would like nothing more than to be able to forgive his dad, and for them to all just be a happy, normal, loving family again, but he can’t. because they’re not. and apologies can’t erase the past, or make up for it. there is no way to change what happened. Touya’s still dead, and the scars from all those years of neglect and abuse are still fucking there, and they’re not just going to go away, even if Enji is remorseful. Enji becoming a good man now doesn’t make up for all the years that he wasn’t! he can’t just undo it! and that’s the tragedy of it!! you feel so bad for the man -- or at least, I do -- but at the same time, part of the atonement process is to accept the consequences of everything he did!
and also, for everyone saying he hasn’t faced any actual consequences yet -- one person in particular sent me a very detailed and thoughtful ask, which I apologize for not responding to yet -- I say this with all due respect: there. look. there are your consequences, right there. everything he will never have. everything he can’t salvage. the pain of knowing he was the cause of all this. the pain of seeing the misery in his son’s eyes and knowing he can’t fix it, and knowing the hurt he’s caused to the ones he loved most. that is karma. that’s a fucking punishment. that’s an agony beyond any physical torture that anyone could ever possibly dream up. his punishment is that after all these years, he finally gets to feel all of the suffering he’s inflicted on them, and he’d do anything to take it back now, but he can’t. that’s it! and we all fucking hate it, and no one is happy! and it’s not fucking fair! haha! but that’s how it fucking is, though. and I swear to god, I keep saying it, but it’s some of the most brutally realistic shit I’ve ever seen in a fucking manga. fuck
anyways, I need to stop monologuing or else I’m never going to finish this fucking chapter, but rest assured my soul is being ripped the fuck apart. hmm
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:’)
(ETA: note the conspicuous lack of a Kacchan reaction panel directly after the “I’m never gonna forgive you” panel. everyone else gets one. but not him. in fact, there are no more reaction panels of him until this speech ends, and then we get one zoomed far away where we can’t really see his face. but I’m sure that’s all just a coincidence and means absolutely nothing! oh baby. what a chapter.)
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:’)))))))
by the way, quick shoutout to that person in the taxi giving them the Rock Lee Eyes and having just no idea what the fuck is going on sob. thanks to you for keeping me from breaking into full on sobs here. I’m holding it together for you, random deer-in-headlights citizen
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[INHALES!!!]
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that’s it. I don’t. fuck. anyways. I ranted about all my feelings already, so just. ... you all get it by this point, right?
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oh Kacchan. penny for your thoughts. I’m almost done with that essay I keep rewriting. you have a lot to think about right now huh
and Shouto. oh Shouto. safe to say this is a side of his father he’s never seen nor imagined he would see before
YOU GUYS THIS IS SO FUCKING IMPORTANT THOUGH, SHIT
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[GRABS THIS PANEL AND FRANTICALLY WAVES IT ALL OVER THE BNHA TAG] I’M!!! JUST!!! SAYING!!! THOUGH!!!!!!!
oh, we’re still going? SURE WHY THE FUCK NOT
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WHATEVER HORIKOSHI!!! JUST KEEP COMING AT ME, THEN!! GO AHEAD AND FINISH ME OFF WITH A FUCKING SUPLEX OF FEELS!! YOU SON OF A BITCH
and now Ending’s freaking the fuck out and screaming for Endeavor to stop. lol it’s like the villain version of Can’t Ya See-Kun. Endeavor you jackhole, this isn’t on brand! CUT IT OUT
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forget it, Jake. it’s Character Development
now the police are arriving and Deku’s like THANK GOODNESS because the awkwardness was about to go critical here. meanwhile, pay no attention to how Katsuki is staring at him despite having no real reason to be in this panel!
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[sidles up next to Kacchan] so hey fella. did any of that hit a nerve, perchance. did it open any metaphorical eyes. dust off any momentous revelations that you’ve been valiantly trying to keep shelved in your mental basement. have the SEEDS of your PERSONAL GROWTH been CULTIVATED. are the JEHOVAH’S WITNESSES of NOT BEING A DICK knocking at your inner door!?
anyway so now we’re cutting to Endeavor talking with the authorities while Chauffeur Armstrong tells him he needs to watch his back
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friendly reminder that a bearded hermit flew around town on a glass hoverchair singing a song about Endeavor bringing darkness to the world or some shit not too long ago. that’s still a thing! better watch it Enji
HOLY FUCKARONI
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(ETA: shoutout to that “neither does the light” line because that’s some straight up Harry Potter quotable bullshit and I love it and Endeavor’s character development continues to slay me that is all.)
FUCKING!!! CHRIST!!! OH GOD!!! OH JESUS!!!!
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HMGGHHHHAAAA SOMEONE HELP ME OH MY GOD I’M SHAKING, AHHHHHHH
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(ETA: listen you guys, in all of my “!!!!” I didn’t stop to appreciate all of the other things about this scene. but Shouto has changed into his hero costume which is a great little detail that I love because he obviously didn’t feel like standing around freezing his butt off and being oggled by the crowd. and then we have Natsu coming over to thank them all for saving his life, which is great, and he’s such a sweetheart. and then Deku actually saying “Bakugou” for probably the first and only time in his life lmao. and then, finally, his fucking face when he realizes Kacchan has finally chosen a hero name. he’s fucking ecstatic. he can’t wait!! anyway so Deku is me.)
NO BUT I’M FULLY SERIOUS YOU GUYS, I’M TREMBLING LIKE A FUCKING LEAF, IT’S PROBABLY THE CAFFEINE IN ME BUT STILL, OH MY GOD, I’M PARALYZED, I CAN’T SCROLL DOWN, MY HEART IS POUNDING, MY LIFE IS ABOUT TO BE FOREVER CHANGED, OH FUCKSTICKS, OH SHIT
NOOOOOOOOOOO
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FUCK MY FUCKING -- WHERE IS HAWKS!!?!? WHERE IS HE!?!? I SWEAR TO GOD IF THAT FUCKING MAGPIE DOESN’T SWOOP DOWN RIGHT THE FUCK NOW WITH JEANIST IN TOW ALL “HAHA IT WAS ALL A MISUNDERSTANDING” I’M GOING TO --
(ETA: but lmao at the fact that Shouto was all “okay, so you’re not going to tell him, but what about me, your Best Friend?” like he really heard “DROP DEAD ASSHOLE” and thought “well, that was Midoriya though, LET ME TAKE A STAB AT IT.” this is the most earnest child in the universe and this OT3 continues to bring me boundless joy.)
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FUCK
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LISTEN YOU KNOW I LOVE THAT TODODRAMA, BUT YOU CAN’T JUST DO THAT TO ME!! I’M A HUMAN BEING!! IF YOU CUT ME I BLEED!! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS. I’M GOING TO STRAIGHT UP CRY ALL OVER AGAIN YOU HEARTLESS PIECE OF SHIT
looool
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“and his friends.” you hear that, Kacchan. now COME BACK OUT HERE AND TELL US YOUR HERO NAME RIGHT NOW YOUNG MAN!!!
Endeavor you better save this chapter. I’m counting on you dog
oh. oh shit
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hahaha. well fuck
first of all, look at Mr. “la dee dah I’m just going to build my family a new house on a whim because I’m so fucking rich” over here, like, damn, Endeavor. and second of all my heart is just a bludgeoned hemorrhaging mass of feels at this point and I’m not even going to try to salvage it. and third of all, this is exactly the type of resolution I wanted, pain and all, and I’m so goddamn satisfied with it it’s almost ridiculous. because the man fucking gets it. for everyone who continues to doubt Endeavor’s intentions, look no fucking further than this. this isn’t a narcissist trying to gaslight his victims and get back in his family’s good graces and make it all about him yet again. this is a man who understands that the best thing for his family right now is for them to be allowed to piece their lives back together without him. and so he’s enabling them to do that, and voluntarily stepping out of the picture while still providing for them. and damn but I respect that so much. fuck yeah, Enji. this was the right thing to do. it doesn’t make up for all the mistakes you’ve made, because nothing can do that. but you’re a better man now, and this right here is exactly the type of thing people mean when they say actions speak louder than words. so, respect
and that’s it! we’ve officially experienced all of the human emotions in this chapter! oh and also that’s it, as in the chapter is done. so yeah. well that sure was a whirlwind now wasn’t it
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heartofether · 3 years
Text
Episode 12 - Bicycle TRANSCRIPT
[You can listen to the show wherever you get your podcasts, or go to our “Listen” page if you’re on desktop.]
AUTOMATED VOICE
[GROWING SLOWER THROUGHOUT] Please state your message.
[THEME MUSIC AND INTRODUCTION PLAYS.]
VAL
Three-Eyed Frog Presents: The Heart of Ether.
[THEME CONTINUES BEFORE COMING TO A STOP.]
[PHONE BEEP.]
[INT. THE OPEN EYES BOOKSTORE, UPSTAIRS.]
[PHOEBE AND HOLLY ARE HEARD GOING UP THE STAIRS TO THE APARTMENT.]
PHOEBE
[RUSHED] I’m so sorry I called you on such short notice, it’s just—oh, I have a bird by the way, her name is Michelle, I’m sorry I forgot to tell you, but I, anyways—it’s just that it all happened really fast, and I just need to talk about—
[AS SHE TALKS, PHOEBE IS HEARD OPENING THE DOOR TO THE APARTMENT AND CLOSING IT BEHIND HER AND HOLLY AS THEY WALK INSIDE. IN THE APARTMENT, THE OCCASIONAL CHIRPING OF MICHELLE IS HEARD IN THE BACKGROUND.]
HOLLY
[OVERLAPPING] Dude, it’s chill. Really. 
Oh, and uh, I got you something. It’s from that super pretentious place around the block. I know you don’t like coffee, but I hope matcha is okay?
PHOEBE
…oh! Oh, my gosh! I didn’t even realize you were carrying anything, um—thank you! Wow. Thank you so much, er—matcha’s great! Wait, how much was it, I can—
HOLLY
[SHE LAUGHS.] No need to pay me back. It’s a gift. 
PHOEBE
[A BEAT, THEN, SINCERE] Thank you.
HOLLY
No problem, I’ll just set it on the table here—?
PHOEBE
That works, yeah.
HOLLY
Cool.
[HOLLY IS HEARD WALKING TO THE TABLE AND SETTING THE CUP DOWN.]
HOLLY
…so, is your friend okay?
PHOEBE
...what?
HOLLY
The one you said got attacked.
[A BRIEF PAUSE.]
PHOEBE
Oh, right. Sorry, sorry, I er uh, heh, got distracted. But yes, they’re okay. 
HOLLY
[SHE CHUCKLES.] I gotta hand it to ‘em. Of all the things I expected to hear about when you called me, sentient mold was not on the list.
PHOEBE
I’m still not sure how it works, honestly. I’ve been trying to go through Grandma Doe’s notes, see if she had anything about the mold. At the very least, Valencia knew about it, because he had big jugs of lemonade saved in case of an attack—which I didn’t even know lemonade lasted that long.
HOLLY
He must have had some way of preserving it. Maybe more spooky weirdness?
PHOEBE
[SHE GIGGLES.] I doubt it. I mean, I suppose the lemonade doesn’t have to be safe for human consumption, so long as it works on the mold.
HOLLY
[UNSEEN NOD] Mm, sure.
PHOEBE
I still haven’t found much about the mold itself, though. I’ll have to keep looking.
HOLLY
Gotcha.
So, shouldn’t we be down in the backroom looking? ‘Cause you brought me up to the apartment—
PHOEBE
There’s a reason for that.
HOLLY
…oh?
PHOEBE
Er, can we, sit down?
HOLLY
Oh, yeah.
[THEY ARE HEARD PULLING THE CHAIRS OUT AND SITTING DOWN AT THE TABLE.]
PHOEBE
[NERVOUSLY RAMBLING] Look, I, I don’t know what’s going on. All this stuff, what, with my grandma’s research, whatever Valencia was doing—I mean, he has even more research apparently, which, wow.
And I’ve been really stressed about it, what with all my already existing shop worries, now I’m facing this unknown, inhuman power without any—
HOLLY
[OVERLAPPING, COMFORTING] Hey, I understand. That shit out there? It’s pretty terrifying. You’re allowed to be worried about it.
[THERE’S A PAUSE.]
PHOEBE
Why do you care?
HOLLY
What?
PHOEBE
[GUILTY] …oh, gosh, I’m so sorry, that was so rude of me, I mean, uh—about all of this. You said you were looking for, like, monsters or something, when you came in. Why do you care so much about helping me? I mean, evidently, it’s really dangerous. Seriously, someone I know was nearly killed today. So, why are you so, um, I guess, invested?
[A BEAT.] If you don’t mind answering, that is. I know that might be, er, kinda personal. Sorry.
[A LONG PAUSE.]
HOLLY
Did you know that owls are my favorite animal? That’s why I was so enthralled by that wicked statue your grandmother put out in the shop. They’ve been my favorite for a few years. And you wanna know why that is?
It’s because they’re so, I don’t know, calculated. They’re silent killers. Widely respected. People associate them with wisdom, and mystery, but there’s also a hunger there. A need to survive, and they know damn well how to do it. It’s not even uncommon for them to eat other owls.
PHOEBE
Um, I—
HOLLY
[SHE LAUGHS.] Sorry, I just, owls are super fuckin’ cool. I promise I’m going somewhere with this. Hang tight.
PHOEBE
[SHE GIGGLES.] Okay.
HOLLY
So, owls. They’re calculated, but they’ve got, like, a fierce hunger in their eyes. 
And I…I’ve got a hunger. I mean, I’m not eating owls, obviously, no, it’s a metaphorical hunger. A need to…to act. To protect. I used to be so good at standing by silently, watching, unnoticed, but unlike the owl, who hunts, I never did anything. I was frozen in place.
[SOFTER, SHAKILY] And then, when I needed to protect someone, I failed. I watched silently, but I never struck. I walked away…empty-handed.
[SHE TAKES A DEEP BREATH.] I’m not doing that again. If people are in danger, and there’s any way I can help, I’m going to step in. Whatever I can do.
[ANOTHER LONG PAUSE.]
PHOEBE
I’m sorry, Holly.
HOLLY
[SHE LAUGHS IT OFF] Don’t worry about it. It’s all in the past. Just, I want to make sure nobody suffers at the hands of whatever monstrous forces we’re dealing with. 
PHOEBE
That’s really admirable.
HOLLY
Thanks.
[FLATTERING] I mean, I’m no braver than you. You’re kinda diving head-first into all of this. That’s badass.
PHOEBE
[FLUSTERED] Oh, um, thank you! Heh.
[MUTTERS]  I mean, I didn’t really have a choice, it was this or burn the shop down…
HOLLY
What?
PHOEBE
D—Don’t worry about it! Um, sorry. Thank you again.
HOLLY
Of course.
[SOFTLY, SINCERE] You’re really special. You know? You and this shop.
PHOEBE
[A BEAT, THEN, SOFTLY] You seem so certain about that.
HOLLY
I am.
PHOEBE
[REALIZATION] Oh.
[LONG, GAY PAUSE.]
PHOEBE
[SHE CLEARS HER THROAT.] Sorry, sorry, um…There is one way you can help. Not just, um, you know, carrying boxes. It’s a big thing, um, and also why I brought you up here.
HOLLY
Oh, alright.
PHOEBE
I said my grandmother didn’t leave any guide behind to help me? Well, I lied.
[A BEAT, THEN, RUSHING TO REASSURANCE] I promise that’s the only lie I told you, though, and I had a good reason for it.
She…she left a box. Full of super secret letters. You’re the only person I’ve told. Irene doesn’t know anything about it.
HOLLY
I mean, you don’t have to tell me about anything you’re not comfortable sharing, Phoebe—
PHOEBE
[OVERLAPPING] I need help with something, and I don’t know how you’re gonna feel about it because I don’t know how I feel about it yet.
HOLLY
[WARY] …I said I’d do anything to help. Whatever it is.
PHOEBE
Do you promise? To keep it a secret and not, um, freak out, I guess?
HOLLY
[A BEAT.] Cross my heart.
PHOEBE
Okay. Okay! I actually don’t think I should record this next bit, so I’m gonna turn it off, but in order to actually read the research, I have to—
[PHONE BEEP.]
[RECORDING ENDS.]
[ANOTHER PHONE BEEP.]
[INT. CAROL’S APARTMENT, NIGHT.]
[THERE IS THE CREAKING OF A PULLOUT MATTRESS.]
CAROL
Hope it’s not too uncomfortable for ya’.
IRENE
Honestly? I’m just glad to have a place to sleep. Thank you.
CAROL
Not a problem, Irene. You’re always welcome here.
[THERE IS A LONG PAUSE. IRENE IS HEARD ADJUSTING HER BLANKET BRIEFLY.]
CAROL
Right. Well, I’m guessing you have questions, and it’s been a hell of a day. If you’ve got ‘em, now is the best time to ask.
IRENE
[SHE THINKS FOR A MOMENT.] What was that?
CAROL
[A SHARP INTAKE OF BREATH.] I wish I had a good enough answer for you, Irene. We’ve just been calling it the mold. Well, those I’ve talked to about it, that is.
IRENE
So, you don’t exactly know what it is, but you’ve heard of it.
CAROL
More than that, I’ve seen it myself before.
IRENE
[TAKEN ABACK] Before today?
CAROL
Mm. [GRIM] A while back, I was visiting a real close friend of mine. We were, ah, having tea out on her patio. It was a nice day. Didn’t seem like a catastrophe was gonna happen. We talked for a while before she said she had to go to the restroom and went inside.
I’m a patient woman, Irene, but after about twenty minutes, I knew something was wrong. I opened the back door and called out to her, but got no response. When I went inside to check on her, she didn’t answer when I knocked on the bathroom door. I was worried something had happened to her, but…man, I never could have seen it comin’.
The mold had spread out all across her bathroom. She laid dead in the center, just like that ol’ inspector. I haven’t been the same since then.
I tried my best to move on, but I didn’t get the time to. About a week later, that same mold started growing in my own house. I was terrified. I didn’t know what to do. I knew I shouldn’t touch it. So, I did all I could think to do: move out. I got this here apartment as soon as I could. I’m lucky I got out in time. After I moved, it didn’t come after me again, and I hadn’t seen it since. Until today, that is.
I’ve hardly told anyone about this. I mean, hell, I was worried people would think I’m crazy. I told Aden about it ‘cause I trust him and care for his safety, and thankfully, he believed me. I would have probably told you eventually if it hadn’t gotten you first.
IRENE
[DEFEATED] So you don’t know what causes it.
CAROL
[SHE CHUCKLES DRYLY.] Hell, until today, I didn’t even know there was a way to kill it.
[IRENE SIGHS.]
CAROL
Look, I know there’s something going on in this town, Irene. I’m not blind. I’ve seen things that can definitely be classified as strange, and in fact, I’d count Valencia under that category even before I saw his research.
I’ve never gotten any answers, though, just glimpses into something I know is there, but don’t understand yet.
IRENE
[A WEAK CHUCKLE.] Like some big secret the whole town is keeping, but they don’t actually know the secret.
CAROL
I’m sorry I can’t offer you more than that.
IRENE
It’s fine. I can’t expect you to know everything.
[THERE’S A PAUSE.]
CAROL
Well, I’m gonna go take a shower.
IRENE
[SHE CHUCKLES AGAIN.] I don’t blame you. My skin is crawling after spending so much time around the mold.
CAROL
It’s open to you next if you want it.
IRENE
No. [SHE YAWNS.] I’m going to try to get some work done.
CAROL
Well, make sure you get some rest soon, alright?
IRENE
Sure. Goodnight, Carol.
CAROL
Night, Irene.
[THERE’S FOOTSTEPS THAT TRAIL OFF BEFORE CAROL CLOSES THE BEDROOM DOOR. IRENE SHIFTS.]
IRENE
Right. Where do I even begin?
After we found out it was weak to lemons, we poured the jugs of lemonade Valencia had over all the mold we could find. It wasn’t enough for the whole house, obviously. We had to go to the store and buy more.
[SHE CHUCKLES.] I have no right to judge the meat lady anymore. Imagine the look on the cashier’s face when Carol and I went up with twenty bottles of lemonade.
Luckily, it didn’t spread anymore while we were at the store. I think our initial dousing weakened it—or, however that works.
I called Phoebe about it, and she said she’ll look into it. Aden was worried that the sugar contents in the store-bought lemonade would render it ineffective. [SHE LAUGHS WEAKLY.]
Honestly, I don’t know how I’m going to repay Aden. While we were cleaning up the mold, not only did he check in on us constantly, he brought us food once we were done. We never did get lunch like we planned, obviously. Even if he didn’t help with the mold itself, I’m still thankful he was there. As overwhelming as his worried spam can occasionally be.
[A BEAT, THEN, IN A GUILTY AND ALMOST SCARED TONE] The mold inspector…we tried to do something with him. His body just deteriorated, though. We could barely even pick him up without his flesh falling apart—and no, we didn’t use our hands, of course we didn’t.
We had to use garden tools to put his decomposing remains into several layers of garbage bags. Carol said she disposed of it as best she could. I hope she’s right.
The van is still there, though, which is part of why I’m spending the night here. [mutters] Also, because lemonade is incredibly sticky, and right now, my entire house is covered in its gooey residue.
I know his death is going to come back to haunt me. I’m not stupid. At least the guy worked independently, I guess? He probably had a family, though. I have no idea what to do. I mean, I wish I could have prevented it, but—
[SHE STOPS HERSELF. THERE’S A PAUSE.]
IRENE
I’m trying not to think about it right now. [TRYING TO JOKE, BUT FAILING] I mean, this town seems to be all for covering up people who disappear without a trace, right?
I guess I should be happy I got answers, right? Got a whole attic full of them. I’m not, though. I’m the most terrified I’ve ever been. There’s something out there, something that isn’t human—maybe multiple somethings—and as far as I know, it’s shown that it wants to hurt me.
What if the mold comes back? [A BEAT.] What if something more powerful than the mold comes after me, now that I’ve proven to be a threat? 
Look, I should get some work done. I’m sure I’ll be up all night thinking about this, but right now, I have a schedule to keep. Clearly, I didn’t get anything done after around noon, so I have some work to catch up on.
[THE MATTRESS CREAKS AS IRENE GRABS HER BAG AND BEGINS TO LOOK THROUGH IT. IT STOPS AS SHE PULLS OUT HER LAPTOP.]
IRENE
Thankfully, along with some spare clothes, I was able to grab my laptop. We’ll see how long that occupies my mind.
[THERE’S CLICKING NOISES AS IRENE TURNS ON HER COMPUTER. A BRIEF PAUSE.]
IRENE
[HESITANT] There’s another new audio file on my computer. It—it’s labeled as the date of the incident.
[A BEAT.] You know what? I could just close my computer. I’ve been through enough today. I don’t have to put myself through more.
...who am I kidding? I’m just going to keep worrying about it otherwise. Might as well get it over with.
[SHE CLICKS IT.]
[PHONE BEEP.]
[INT. ROSE’S BEDROOM, THE NIGHT SHE WENT MISSING.]
[ROSE IS HEARD FRANTICALLY PACKING A BAG.]
ROSE
[PANICKED] I think she—it—I think it’s gotten back up. 
My name is Rosemary Quinn. Rosemary Quinn. If you’re listening to this, don’t come after me. Don’t—
[A VASE IS HEARD BREAKING IN THE BACKGROUND. ROSE GASPS.]
ROSE
It’s my mom. She did something. I don’t know what. Some sort of ritual? Not a traditional one or anything like that. I don’t know what it was she was doing.
I just—I walked in on her screaming, and there was blood coming from her eyes, and then she just—she just started changing! I can’t describe it! It’s like her body was morphing into a different body, like, like clay, I don’t—
[THERE’S A LOUD BANGING AT THE DOOR. ROSE YELPS.]
GRACE?
[IN A DISTORTED, INHUMAN VOICE, MUFFLED BY THE DOOR] Rose, dear, won’t you open the door? What are you so afraid of?
[A BRIEF, EERIE INSTRUMENTAL ECHOES IN THE BACKGROUND.]
ROSE
[WHISPERING] No. No, please no.
It tried to attack me, but I hit it over the head with a candleholder. That incapacitated it for a bit, but now I think it’s just angry.
[SHE ZIPS THE BAG SHUT.]
ROSE
Whatever that is, it is not my mother. I know she’s not a good person already, I know that, but that’s not her, it’s—
[ANOTHER BANGING AT THE DOOR.]
GRACE?
Rose. Open the door.
ROSE
Stop, please stop!
SIR GRIFFIN THE THIRD
Meow.
ROSE
Sir Griffin the Third? Were you, were you hiding under the bed this whole time?
[THE DOORKNOB JINGLES. CREEPY, DRAMATIC MUSIC BEGINS PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND.]
GRACE?
Rose, dear, my patience has run very thin.
ROSE
[DISBELIEF] That voice. It sounds like…no. No.
GRACE?
I warned you.
ROSE
Stop. I’m begging you, stop! Mom? Mom, are you still in there? Mom, I’m sorry, please listen—
[ROSE’S MOM IS HEARD BREAKING DOWN THE DOOR. ROSE SCREAMS. THE DOORKNOB FALLS TO THE FLOOR.]
SIR GRIFFIN THE THIRD
Meow!
ROSE
Oh, I can’t just leave you here. Come here.
[SHE GRABS SIR GRIFFIN THE THIRD. SHE IS HEARD OPENING HER BEDROOM WINDOW. THE SOUND OF WIND AND CRICKETS OUTSIDE IS HEARD AS SHE DOES THIS.]
GRACE?
Don’t think you can get away from me, dearest.
ROSE
[MUTTERING IN PANIC] No…no, no, no!
[ROSE IS HEARD CLIMBING OUT OF THE WINDOW ONTO THE GROUND AND RUNNING FOR HER BIKE.]
SIR GRIFFIN THE THIRD
Meow.
[ROSE IS HEARD LIFTING THE BIKE UP, ITS BELL CHIMING, AND CLIMBING ONTO IT.]
ROSE
[TO SIR GRIFFIN THE THIRD] Come on, come on—I know you don’t like the basket, just—
[SHE IS CUT OFF BY A GLITCHING NOISE. THE MUSIC ENDS WITH THE CHIME OF A BELL. THERE IS BRIEF STATIC BEFORE ANOTHER GLITCHING NOISE.]
[ROSE IS HEARD RIDING HER BIKE FOR A FEW SECONDS, BREATHING HEAVILY. THE SAME NIGHTTIME AMBIANCE AS BEFORE IS STILL PRESENT.]
ROSE
...no, Sir Griffin the Third, stay in the—!
[SHE IS CUT OFF BY ANOTHER GLITCHING NOISE.]
[THE BIKE IS HEARD COMING TO A STOP. ROSE BREATHS HEAVILY AS SHE GETS OFF. SIR GRIFFIN THE THIRD MAKES A CHIRPING NOISE.]
ROSE
I think…I think I’m far away enough now.
SIR GRIFFIN THE THIRD
Meow.
ROSE
[DISTRAUGHT, TO SIR GRIFFIN THE THIRD] Oh, honey, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.
SIR GRIFFIN THE THIRD 
Meow.
ROSE
I’m sorry, but I can’t bring you with me. I didn’t even get to grab your food. I’m sorry. I’ll bring you somewhere where you’re safe, okay, baby? I promise.
[THERE’S A PAUSE.]
ROSE
I, um…I can’t go home. I don’t even think I can stay in Seattle. I don’t know if my mom will ever go back to her normal self, or if whatever that thing was is who she is now.
Regardless, I believe that the demon will continue to hunt me down, no matter whose body it has to use. It did not seem like a being that goes down easy.
[SAD YET BEAUTIFUL MUSIC PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND.]
ROSE
[GRIM] My mom. I never got along with her. She was an awful person. I know that wasn’t her, though. I don’t know what she did, or what kind of forces she tried to harness, but it is not a kind or benevolent force. 
I’m not quite sure what to do now. I mean, I suppose I wanted to run away, but not like this. How could I even tell Irene—
[A PAUSE.] Oh. Irene.
[SHE TAKES A SHAKY BREATH.] I can’t tell her. It will put her in too much danger. I can’t risk her getting involved with whatever it is that is chasing me.
[THERE’S A PAUSE.]
ROSE
[SHAKILY] Irene...Irene, if you’re listening to this, don’t come after me. I, I don’t know how you could ever be listening to this, but still. Don’t look for me. Not yet, at least.
I promise, when it’s safe, I’ll find you.  I won’t abandon you. [SINCERE] Of course I wouldn’t. I just, I need to go away. Just for a little bit.
I love you, dear. So much. Wait for me.
[THE MUSIC AND NIGHTTIME AMBIANCE FADES OUT.]
[PHONE BEEP.]
[RECORDING ENDS.]
[INT. CAROL’S APARTMENT, PRESENT DAY.]
[THERE’S A PAUSE AS IRENE PROCESSES WHAT SHE HEARD.]
IRENE
[QUIETLY] I love you, too.
[IRENE BEGINS CRYING.]
IRENE
I love you, too. [SHE SOBS.] Of course I do.
[SHE SOBS FOR A FEW MOMENTS LONGER.]
IRENE
[DETERMINED, BUT SHAKY] I don’t care what you said. I’m going to find you, Rose.
I’m going to find you.
[PHONE BEEP.]
[RECORDING ENDS.]
AUTOMATED VOICE
Today’s quote is: “Perhaps some day I'll crawl back home, beaten, defeated. But not as long as I can make stories out of my heartbreak, beauty out of sorrow.”
Sylvia Plath, as published in The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath, 1982.
[A STRANGE, EERIE, ALMOST HOLLOW SOUND SLOWLY BUILDS IN THE BACKGROUND.
AUTOMATED VOICE
[SLOWING DOWN GRADUALLY] You are the outlet. We are the light.
[THE EERIE SOUND IS CUT OFF BY A LOUD WHOOSH.]
VAL
The Heart of Ether will return in Season Two.
[OUTRO MUSIC AND CREDITS PLAY.]
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lilacslovers · 3 years
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wow the new concept art for the next gym leader in pokemon swsh looks neat /j
anyways heres what the numbers list!
1) Lilac’s Rotom Motorbike in Sparkling Black. (Shiny Rotom)
2) Her bike helmet along with her leather jacket for her Motorbike
3) Her electric guitar with Female Pikachu tail sticker.
4) She doesn’t get angry a lot, but has funny angry faces.
5) She does get very flustered easily (writing reads: Um...)
also heres some quotes she would say in the game (* ^ ω ^) (warning: really long....)
Introducing herself in the first battle:
“Hello there, Gym Challenger. I’m Lilac. You look like a very strong individual with very strong Pokémon, so I’ll be pushing your limits here today! No hard feelings though, right~ ♪ ?”
Upon sending out her final Pokémon:
“Down to my last already? You’re quite wonderful, you are!”
Upon activating Gigantamax:
“Well then, I guess I’ll have to be more tougher on you. It’s time to bring on the storm, my dear Pikachu!”
Upon using G-Max Volt Crash:
“I don’t mean to be such a brute to you, but you’ve left me no choice! G-Max Volt Crash will give you an electric shock!”
Upon being defeated:
“Hm... You’re fantastic, but... A loss like this can still hurt my heart...”
After being defeated:
“I’ve never seen more energy in a Pokémon team like yours!”
“I’m glad you were able to brace my team’s power. I think you’re going to go quite far.”
“Here’s the Electric Badge you’ve earned.”
“I can’t wait to see you on the big screens! I have high hopes for you and your team, and I know you’ll seize the opportunity to make headlines pretty soon. Now, take care out there!”
Wyndon Stadium (Champion Cup Locker Room):
“Hello once again! I knew you wouldn’t disappoint. But, to be honest, I can’t wait to put in my all when we get to battle again now, haha ♪ !”
Sordward and Shielbert Post-Game:
“P-Please stay back! You know, Electric-type Pokémon can get quite zappy when angered...”
“It’s horrendous though, Piers! I’ve managed to handle a couple Pokémon that have Dynamaxed... But the rest are just... too much!”
“You lot want to help? Well... That’s alright, as long as you all stay careful around this one Pokémon in the pitch.”
“Alright! Everyone, let’s go and calm this little- I-I mean, quite big - Pokémon!”
After defeating Dynamax Jolteon:
“Ahaha, what a relief! Looks like the thunderclouds have drifted away from the stadium... and away from my mind as well!”
“Please don’t worry about the rest of the Pokémon in the stadium, I think they’re a lot more weaker than that one. My Trainers and I can handle those.”
“Hey, <player>? I know we’re gonna battle again someday, but if you need me for whatever else, call me! Oh, and all I really have to give is one of my League Cards, if you’re alright with that...”
After receiving her Rare League Card:
“Sorry for any troubles! I promise I’ll make it up one day to you lot! Thanks for helping little ol’ me here, haha...”
Wyndon Stadium (Champion Cup Rematch):
Before battle:
“Hehe, well look who it is! Make sure you’re on your toes, I’m not gonna stall around for anything, you know.”
Upon being defeated:
“You grin and bear just about everything... Your voltage is ever so high.”
After being defeated:
“How do I sustain such force like you do? I never wanna think that my team is weak...”
Isle of Armor Random Encounters:
First encounter:
“Oh! Why, hello! What a surprise to meet you here, <player>.”
“It’s always good to get some extra training in. That’s why me and Pikachu are practising our Electro Balls! Isn’t that right, Pikachu?”
If found in the Forest of Focus:
Clear weather:
“This place is so vast and empty... But, sometimes wild Pikachus like to come by mine! It’s a good thing they’re mostly friendly...”
Cloudy weather:
“Ah, the sun’s clouded over... Now, it’s quite cold... I would’ve worn a long-sleeved Electric Uniform shirt of mine, but I hate how tight the sleeves are...”
In foggy conditions:
“Oh, no! Not fog... Pikachu’s moves aren’t gonna be that effective in the fog! O-Oh well, we can always try practising again after the fog’s cleared up...”
In harsh sunlight:
“Ah...! Too bright, too bright! Pikachu, can you even see in this weather...?”
During rain or thunderstorms:
“The rain is very nice, but the loud crash of thunder can be too harsh... Pikachu seems to love it a lot though. Must give her the burst of energy she needs!”
During a sandstorm:
“In this sandstorm I can’t see a thing...! I would look around, but sand would end up in my eyes...”
If found by the Workout Sea:
“The cool water is just wonderful to soothe me and my Pokémon... Oh, did you know? Electric-type moves are super-effective against Water-type moves!”
If found in Brawlers’ Cave: (says one of these two quotes)
“Wow... It’s so dark in here! Pikachu, if we left you in here long enough, would you turn into a Morpeko?”
“This place makes me remember the time Gordie and I wandered about in some caves... He wanted me to see some Rock Pokémon, so I thought I would tag along! It was a great break away from work, to be fair...”
The Crown Tundra:
Wyndon Stadium (Galarian Star Tournament) (also where a lot of lilakuwa is bc its the only thing i can actually write (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)):
Compliments to other Trainers before battle:
Gordie
“Gordie, your battle style is impeccable. Let’s shock them with our abilities put together!”
Replies to other Trainers before battle:
Piers
“We’re like a little band! Except, you’re kinda a boring bandmate ‘cause you don’t do encores.”
Opal
“I-I’m not sure what the whole ‘pink’ metaphor means, but I’ll try my best to be ‘pink’ for you, Ms. Opal!”
Conversations in battle with other Trainers:
Allister
“You can do it, Allister, even if you feel like you can’t! Keep on pushing yourself!”
Piers
“Keep on singing, Piers! Let’s give them an electrifying performance!”
Replies to other Trainers in battle:
Gordie
“Ahahaha... Thanks for your kind words, Gordie! N-Now I’m kinda flustered...”
Opal
“Our Pokémon types are a very cute mix, Ms. Opal!”
Upon sending out her final Pokémon:
“My final Pokémon is just eager to show her power off to you!”
Upon activating Gigantamax in the Galarian Star Tournament:
“My Pikachu is all charged up! Show off your Gigantamax form, Pikachu!”
Upon being defeated in the Galarian Star Tournament:
“Another loss... I’m completely aghast.”
After being defeated in the Galarian Star Tournament:
“You completely cut off our circuit! Though, I suppose the good battle makes up for that...”
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tracle0 · 4 years
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hello hey hi and a splendid saturday to you, I come bearing a question for the wip4 gang and that question is: what is each of their most significant memories? additionally, are there any memories they would jump at the chance to get rid of? ok bye please have an excellent day \o/ (and before you yell at me I'm going to sleep now I swear)
I’m glad that when you even LOOK at me you think ‘oh sleep time’ I am Pavlov and you are my dog and this metaphor is stupid I will answer your question now
I’m gonna... assume this is uhh pre-story question because I know for a fact that at least three characters would change their answer to at least one question if it was post-story. My house, my rules. 
Keaton’s most significant memory is p r o b a b l y the time when he was in year 12 (17), and he was called to the head of sixth form office. He’d been at this school since year 7 (11), and had realised he was trans in year 8 (12/13), and had then been fighting for the right to use his bathroom ever since. This had previously resulted in punishment. In year 10 (15), he made progress, being allowed to use the disabled bathroom, but he wanted the men's bathroom dammit. 
Anyway, called to head of sixth form, assumed it was related to that issue. Pessimistic about the whole ordeal. 
Turned out there was another student in like year 9 who had come out as trans as well, and the school had gone ‘UHHHHHHHHH LET’S DO BETTER THIS TIME’ so Keaton, being the only other trans student in this rural Norfolk school, was assigned as her... mentor??? I guess? 
He was half like ‘fuck y’all’ and half like ‘I will not let this young woman go through the same shit you all put me through, I will guard her like a HAWK’. He was still not allowed to use his bathroom, but he makes her fight a little easier; she’s allowed to use her bathroom in year 10, after he left. They still meet up every now and then for coffee. 
Memory to be rid of: First day on a Professional Set, he walked backwards whilst taking a tea order and fell into a bin. Terrible first impression. He still got jobs afterwards, but sometimes people will be like ‘oh yeah I’ve heard of you you’re the bin guy’ and he wants to punch them. 
This is getting long already I’m gonna put the rest under a cut
I know you’re here for Mika so I’ll go to them, most significant memory: probably his first pride? He didn’t intend to go to pride, but he was in the city on the day of pride and just walked past all these rainbows and flags and people being so open and proud and themselves. He was maybe fifteen, and had been having those fun Gender Feels that you try and hide at age fifteen, because you’re only fifteen and most people tell you you’re not old enough to know anything about yourself, yknow? 
Someone gave him a flyer at one point, and when he got back to his Ultra Christian Household, he hid it and would read through it some nights. When he had it memorised, he started to explore more about queerness online. He’s the guy who can tell you all about LGBT history due to this research. This was only done in the city on the library computers, where his trail couldn’t be tracked. It gave him some sort of start for labels, some sort of safe space, some sort of New Approach to everything he’d been feeling. 
Memory to be rid of: last day in Ultra Christian School. He was raised Catholic and went to Catholic school and it wasn’t awful until he was about fourteen, at which point he started to grow his hair. They told him to cut it constantly. He was punished for it. He kept the hair. 
It got bad but it wasn’t until he was about seventeen that it really buckled; first real notable psychotic episode. He told people, they were convinced it was some sort of possession, convinced he’d sinned, convinced of all these horrible things about him and drove him out until he could ‘act normally’ again. He did not go back. 
In all honesty, the second he turned 18, he took his savings from various dead grandparents and a part-time job, bought a second-hand (maybe third-hand) camper-van and left home. 
He goes back for Christmas only. 
Mooooving on, Lynne! Who I do not talk about enough; she’s also part of the documentary squad, and actually the reason the whole squad exists. Producer and director, she’s very cool okcoolthanks
Most significant memory: That one time she was thirteen and her parents had officially declared their divorce. She was living with her dad and it was really, really weird and she was not enjoying it. Divorce is a big deal to some families, and this family was one of them, and she was really unsure about her entire future. 
Cue Mika, young and mostly obedient, kicking down the door (not literally) and kidnapping her (again, not literally) to come pick blackberries with him (very literally). They stayed out until the sun went down in early Autumn. She forgot about the divorce for a small amount of time. They ended the day eating fish and chips straight from the paper whilst sitting in a tree and talking about nothing important at all. 
They made jam out of the blackberries the next day. It was gross. Both of them refused to admit it was gross. 
Memory to be rid of: She went camping one time with friends from school. Lynne is Muslim and so did not go to Catholic school with Mika, they just lived near each other, and so school friends went ‘hey we’re going camping you should come’ she did come. 
It was a mess. They were fifteen and determined to drink, and English peer pressure to drink is weird, so she did take some drink but didn’t drink it. Someone threw up on her tent and blamed it on her. No-one bought any food or water, the only thing she was able to drink was lemonade bought for mixing and that had ants in it within two hours. 
She woke up first and left them all there, then walked home because she was meant to be lift-sharing. It took an hour and a half. She preferred that to being in the car. 
That group wasn’t her only group of friends, but it was her main group, so things were awkward for a while. 
Moving on from Documentary Squad, Percival! Percy Percival who I wish I could call Percy because it’s so much easier to write. 
Significant memory: winning an art contest when he was like. Eleven. Really living the high-life, ol’ Percival. It was a city-wide contest, with various age categories. He was part of the 11-18 clump, which put him at a disadvantage, but he still won. As a reward, his art was replicated on a mural in one of the shopping malls in town, and he got some fancy vouchers for a fancy art shop in the city. 
Winning the art contest made him go ‘oh wait I’m actually good at this thing I really like doing I should learn how to do that more’ and you could barely pry him away from his sketchbook from that point on. 
Those vouchers were stored away until he was 14 and doing art GCSE, at which point he bought a nice sketchbook and oil paints. He’s now very good at oil painting. I hate him for being good at oil painting. Oil painting SUCKS. 
Memory to be rid of: I’m torn between three and they’re all similar so I’ll go for all of them. 
#1 - losing an eye to Abby’s experiments. You read the lil short story I think (I know I checked just now) - she’s a very kind and loving sister who sometimes moves his body parts around. One time, he lost an eye and went blind for a few weeks. He had nightmares about it for months. It was very painful.
#2 - losing a finger. To Abby’s experiments. It was the middle finger on his left hand and it didn’t go back into place quickly enough - now it’s always numb and discoloured. Good news is he’s right-handed and not a musician so no worries about losing dexterity on that hand. 
#3 - losing two ribs. To Abby’s experiments.  There’s a very clear trend here. She wanted to try moving things she couldn’t see around. She moved two ribs away. She decided it was more dangerous to put them back. Now they just have two of Percival’s ribs lying around. 
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
On that note, final person, this is very long. Abby! She’s fun. Most significant memory;
okay the word ‘significant’ has caught me off-guard several times cause like wow how do you figure out significant memories for people. I don’t have just one, yknow? But I think I know one for her. 
She’s the eldest out of her and Percival and, for a while, people wanted her to set an example for him, which she tried to do, but she wasn’t good at what people wanted her to be good at. She’s good with people. She’s good at very specific parts of biology. She’s good at psychology. She’s not good at school and tests. 
So, when Percival started to beat the standards she set for him, her parents almost... egged competition on. Played favourites, compared the two siblings. Nobody really noticed what she could do, they only cared about what she struggled with. And the parents were rarely around to help out with what she was struggled with. So she struggled on and tried to keep her head high.
Cue a family wedding, she was snooping around the snack table at the reception and overheard her parents talking about her. And how they were almost disappointed in her. How they were annoyed that she couldn’t be more like Percival, honestly, what did they do wrong? 
She got bitter. She pretends she doesn’t care but she’s bitter, and with no parents around to lash out at, she lashes out at Percival, who isn’t even aware. Good times. Not good times. Significant times. 
Memory to be rid of: Honestly? Probably hearing her parents talking about her at the family wedding. It stings. 
A n y w a y this was extremely long I like going into detail with short stories, if you read this far then thank you I appreciate it I will give you a feather from my feather collection. Probably a swan feather. I have a lot of swan feathers. 
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