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reunionatdawn · 2 months

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My Analysis of the Best Paired Endings in 3H (Part 19: AM Sylvain/Felix)

Sylvain: I hate Crests, you know. They mess everything up in life, the future, everything… Just because I have a Crest, I'm treated as the heir, and my older brother nearly killed me because of jealousy. Bitches... they swarm to me, no, to my blood, like ants... Mercedes: …I'm sorry. Did I remind you of something you didn't want to remember? Sylvain: …Sorry, I slipped. Ah, damn, I didn't mean to show such a pathetic side… Mercedes: …No, I'm glad. It feels like I saw your true face for the first time.

The localization watered down, omitted, or completely rewrote a lot of the more interesting gender-related dialogue. In his Japanese B-Support with Mercedes, the word Sylvain used for women was "女ども" (onnadomo). This term is derogatory. It is used to refer to females in a demeaning manner and carries a tone of contempt or disdain. It is considered offensive and is avoided in polite conversation. A comparable word in English might be "bitches" or "wenches."

Sylvain: …Oh, what's up, Professor? Haha, sorry, didn't notice you at all. We've been meeting quite often lately. Oh, could it be that you're interested in me? (Female Byleth): ...Just kidding, it's a joke. Please don't make such an obvious disgusted face. (Male Byleth): Sorry, my arms are reserved for girls only! I'd prefer not to lend them to bastards.

The localization also changed some lines in Sylvain's B-Support with Byleth pretty significantly. If you are playing as Male Byleth, he refers to males as "野郎" (yarou). It's an informal term that is somewhat similar to "guy" or "dude" in English, but it's more derogatory. It's a gendered insult and it suggests that the person being referred to is undesirable or contemptible in some way. It implies qualities like rudeness, roughness, or unpleasantness. It is also considered offensive and impolite, and it's generally not used in polite contexts.

Sylvain: My brother was always a truly irredeemable bastard. Selfish, conceited, and arrogant. I've always had to clean up after him…even after he died. But, thinking about it, if my brother, not me, had been born with the Crest… Would I have become like my brother, or would there have been a different fate for me…?

"Yarou" is often translated as "bastard". In Hopes, if you take Sylvain on an expedition and ask about his likes, he says it's talking to girls. If you ask what he dislikes, he says it's being surrounded by guys, and he uses the same term. And he often used it when referring to guys in general, such as during teatime. I think he was even more of a misandrist than a misogynist, and it's a shame that wasn't as apparent in English because it's pretty integral to his character.

Sylvain: If someone is in trouble, you help them. That's what a knight, no, what a human being does. Whether it's a cute girl or a rugged big guy, it's the same thing. Ashe: …！ Sylvain: Hey, don't give me that look. Are you falling for me? Unfortunately… Ashe: What are you talking about? …I'm just a little surprised.

Even though Sylvain disliked most women, he still vastly preferred their company over men. In their B-Support, he saved Ashe's life, and Ashe came to thank him (quite similar to Sylvain's A-Support with Felix, actually). And he basically told Ashe "no homo". In the localization of their C-Support, he asked Dimitri to come to town together with him to pick up girls. But in the Japanese, he simply encouraged him to invite girls out to dinner on his own.

Sylvain: Hey, Professor. If you're free, wanna go out to the town together? (Female Byleth): I found a place with delicious food. I thought I had no choice but to invite you, Professor! (Male Byleth): In search of unseen beauties… No. Just kidding. Please don't give me that look.

While there are plenty of hints that Sylvain is bisexual, I think it makes perfect sense that he can't end up with Male Byleth or any other male character except for one. He had a VERY specific type. I don't even think Female Byleth was truly his type. But ya know, self-insert.

Sylvain: Dorothea, Hilda, Mercedes… Lady Rhea is also quite the beauty. Ah, the Officer's Academy is great, Professor. Beauties everywhere you turn! Haha!

So, what was his type? Well, he tells you on the first day of school who he was interested in. Three girly girls and Lady Rhea, who represents the Mother Goddess archetype, the embodiment of the divine feminine principle.

Sylvain: Professor, have you seen Felix? He's always disappearing when you take your eyes off him. Byleth: I saw him at the training ground. Sylvain: Well, I thought it might be something like that. Sorry, Professor. Thanks for your help! Taking care of horses, you know, it's quite soothing. They repay trust with trust. Sigh… In that regard, dealing with girls is quite tricky.

Sylvain liked damsels in distress he could swoop in and help. He thought Hilda was cute until he learned that her "delicate flower" act was insincere. And he was attracted to Dorothea, whom he compared to a beautiful flower in bloom, until he suspected she had an ulterior motive. On the day he was looking for Felix, he said he liked looking after horses because, unlike girls, they can be trusted.

Yuri: Oh, is this what they call mutual affection? I'm up for a rendezvous anytime… But next time, could you use better lines than when we first met? That was terrible! "Hello, young lady, delicate as a little bird! Would you care to chat a bit over there…" Sylvain: Oh, come on, I already apologized plenty for mistaking you for a girl! How many times do I have to say it! Yuri: I didn't really need an apology, you know. Look at this face; there are plenty who make that mistake. In fact, I even think I should have conversed with you, even if I had to pretend to be a woman. There's nothing wrong with maintaining a relationship with the future Margrave, right? Sylvain: What an enthusiastic pick-up line… I can't help but feel strange myself.

What mattered to Sylvain was whether his brain registered someone as a girl. He tried to woo a crossdresser at a harvest festival. And the pick-up line he used on Yuri was changed in the localization. He called him "delicate as a little bird" in Japanese. And he was not turned off by the idea of Yuri pretending to be a woman with him.

Sylvain: ...Sorry. Well, I understand, but it seems my mind was refusing to comprehend... Certainly, you... I mean, you're a woman. Yes, a lovely young lady, indeed. Oh no, I've been rude. I'm terribly sorry, miss. Leonie: What's with that tone... Sylvain: I really am sorry. This is a first for me, too. Even if Leonie is ro… I mean, even if she's an active girl, something like this… Leonie: You were about to say "rough", right!?

He knew Leonie was a girl, but his mind just didn't see her as a one. He used the word"粗雑" (sozatsu). It means "rough" or "crude" in English. Later, he compared her to a sunflower, rather than a delicate flower. The word he used for "delicate" was "可憐な" (karenna). And that's the word he used when hitting on Yuri.

Sylvain: It might also be one of the knights… Oh, wait, me!? Ingrid: I'll hit you. Sylvain: W-wait, I was just kidding! I'm against violence! Being too rough ruins a beauty, you know! ………… Uh, well. I-I mean, when I say "beauty," I'm not talking about flirting or anything, yeah!

In his A+ Support with Ingrid, the Japanese word he used was "乱暴" (ranbou). It means "rough" or "violent" in English. It can refer to behavior that is aggressive, forceful, or lacking in restraint.

Sylvain: I'm weary from the nonstop battles. A gentle and beautiful young lady who can heal my troubled heart, I wonder if it's lying around out there somewhere… (Best Answer): It might appear someday.

Even his notes to the advice box suggested that his ideal partner was a "Yamato Nadeshiko". The term describes the "flower of Japanese womanhood" or "traditional daughter of Japan". It's a nostalgic term for the perfect woman under the ideology of Japanese patriarchal society. Sylvain adored traditional femininity and wanted a partner who was the epitome of feminine beauty.

Sylvain: To be honest, I left home without telling my father, even though the country was in a difficult situation. Haha, I can imagine my father's angry face. "That idiot son of mine…" Haha, scary, scary…

But it was not because he was interested in upholding patriarchy. In fact, it he hated patriarchy and did not have a good relationship with the men in his life. His father was known as the "Wall of Ice". Matthias only cared about whether he had a Crest and could wield the Lance of Ruin. He didn't have much regard for his son's life and wanted him to take out a group of bandits by himself to earn his inheritance.

Ingrid: As you know, Sylvain and I have known each other since we were children. In the past, he often had bruises and other injuries on his face and body. Every time I asked, he would say he got them during training, but still…

And growing up, Sylvain was regularly beaten by his older brother.

Dimitri: Who's naïve and serious…? Besides, compared to you, most men are probably the same. Sylvain: Oh, really? A man who gives a dagger as a gift to a girl he likes is quite… Dimitri: How many years ago was that story? …If I seriously slap your head, will you forget about it? Sylvain: If I were hit with that monstrous strength, I'd die… It doesn't sound like a joke.

His Japanese voice acting during his C-Support with Dimitri conveyed a lot more distress than the English version did. Because of how overly serious Dimitri was, and his history of being abused, he genuinely could not tell that he was just joking about hitting him.

Sylvain: Ah, damn it… Joining the Empire… I wonder what Father would say… And then there's His Highness… He's definitely furious, right? That guy, when he's angry, he's downright terrifying… I wonder how I'll be killed… Just imagining it makes my legs tremble. However… it's your decision. I'll follow you…until the end. Haha, I wonder what's gotten into me. I should be scared out of my mind… and yet…

If you recruit Sylvain into CF, you'll learn that he was terrified of Dimitri's anger. He was a childhood friend, but he was never as close to him as he was to Ingrid and Felix. Dimitri was, after all, the future patriarch of the Kingdom with superhuman strength. Which would be kind of intimidating to an abuse victim. In CF, he calls Dimitri a stubborn "yarou". While he is on good terms with him in AM after his boar phase, he doesn't even have an A-Support with him.

Sylvain: Thinking that he's in the next room makes me hesitate to invite a girl over at night. I'm already scared and scared of the scolding the next morning... (Best Answer): Maybe I should reconsider the room assignments…

Sylvain's note to the advice box was about how he was afraid to invite girls to his room because Dimitri was next door. He didn't take his scoldings from Ingrid or Felix very seriously. But Dimitri's seriousness seemed to remind him of his father. And Sylvain was deathly afraid of his father. I'm sure that's why he felt like he had no way out of his arranged marriage.

Sylvain: As someone with a Crest, I was raised with great care by my parents. But my older brother, who didn't have a Crest, was suddenly treated very coldly when I was born. …My older brother even pushed me into a well and abandoned me in the snowy mountains. I understood it even as a child. I had taken everything from him. How could I complain in front of someone who wanted a Crest but couldn't get one? So, the persistent stares of women, the appraising looks of noble daughters… I had to smile and accept them. …Because I had the Crest.

Sylvain bears the Crest of Gautier which is associated with the Death Arcana in Tarot. And the theme of "death" certainly played a large role in his character arc. Growing up, he was constantly told that he should go die and his brother tried to kill him. But Death doesn't mean literal death. It signifies a time of significant transformation, transition, and change. The old version of you needs to "die" to allow the new you to be created.

Sylvain: Ever since King Lambert passed away, I hardly get to see my childhood friends anymore…

Death also represents a resistance to change. In Hopes, if you take Sylvain on an expedition and ask him about his memories of the past, he sadly recounts how he and his old friends stopped hanging out much after King Lambert died. Sylvain would have been fifteen at the time. The same age he was when he hit on Lord Gwendal's daughter, prompting Ingrid to finally leave her room out of concern for him.

Sylvain: Actually, I have a history with Lord Gwendal. Yes, that was a story from many years ago. I met a lovely young lady, fell in love, and was nearly killed by her father… And that father happened to be Lord Gwendal. Oh boy, I was truly prepared to die at that time!

In Japanese, Sylvain's Classic Mode death quote uses the word "覚悟" (kakugo). It means "prepared for" or "mental readiness." And in Japanese, he uses that exact same word when talking about the Lord Gwendal incident. Sylvain's childhood antics (such as hitting on Ingrid's grandmother) could be seen as a harmless ploy for attention to compensate for his terrible home life. However, his involvement with Gwendal's daughter appeared to be way more serious.

Sylvain: …Well, whatever you think, Professor, I don't intend to change my attitude. You see, I may be a good-for-nothing, but I'm still a noble with a Crest… I try not to get involved in serious relationships. They only bring trouble. Eventually, I'll be quietly married off to some suitable partner and settle down.

Sylvain was extremely disingenuous with girls. He would use them for sex, then dump them in public. He was dreading the fact that his life would change after he got married and he blamed them for it.

Ingrid: Right? We're just childhood friends, right? Then why do I have to clean up after your messes? Sylvain: Haha, nobody asked you to do that! Well, just think of it as your role and accept it. For some reason, it's been like this since we were kids, and it'll probably continue. Ingrid: …Continue like this? So, you don't have any intention of changing your ways!?

The only way Sylvain knew how to cope with his fate was by pretending that he just couldn't resist falling in love with every cute girl that he laid eyes on. But the truth was that he disliked girls and was even afraid of them. He was being literal when he said he would stake his life on flirting.

Ingrid: You keep earning resentment from women, and eventually, you'll really get stabbed. Sylvain: Haha, well, if I get stabbed, I get stabbed. I suppose that's just how it goes. Ingrid: …Dying for such a silly reason is definitely not okay, are you stupid!? …Glenn was the type to make those kinds of jokes too. And he really never came back.

Ingrid's line in her B-Support with Sylvain was changed slightly. She specifically warned him that he would get stabbed if he didn't change his behavior. And he just laughed, as if he were prepared to die.

Sylvain: I just, uh… Well, you're going to think I'm being a jerk or hitting on you or whatever… When we're side by side like this, training, I feel— I don't know—oddly at ease. Ingrid: I know what you mean. It's probably because we've been friends for so long. Sylvain: That must be it. Let's never change. Friends forever?

All Sylvain wanted was for things to go back to how they were when he was a kid. In their Houses A-Support, he emphasized that he was not trying to hit on Ingrid. The idea that things wouldn't change between them just put him at ease.

Ingrid: What do you mean you feel relieved seeing me eat? Sylvain: Haha, sorry, sorry. I didn't mean anything by it. Just seeing you enjoying your meal like that makes me, you know, feel relaxed. [...] Nobody can stay the same as they were in the past. You said something like that recently too, didn't you? That's why having something that doesn't change is really comforting for us.

In their Hopes A-Support, he offered to treat Ingrid to dinner not as an attempt to woo her, but just so that he could watch her eat. It was a relief to him that some people never change.

Sylvain: Hey Felix, you free? You must be free, right? Let's go flirt with some girls together today. Felix: Tch… You're disturbing my training. Go by yourself. Sylvain: Don't say that. Come on, we've known each other for a long time, haven't we?

The one change that bothered Sylvain more than any other was the change in Felix's personality. While he didn't like girls becoming attached to him, he was sad that Felix seemed to have outgrown that tendency and no longer wanted to spend time with him.

Felix: We've certainly known each other for a while, but that's about it. Besides, it's not what I wanted. It was just our parents' wishes. Sylvain: So, you're saying it's a rotten relationship, huh?

The phrase "rotten relationship" is kinda hard to translate. It is "腐れ縁" (kusareen) in Japanese. It means "a relationship that cannot be severed even if one wants to." It's usually a relationship that has persisted for a long time, often against one's will or preference, because it is bound up in some work, social, or family obligation. It tends to have a negative connotation, implying that the relationship is undesirable or plagued by difficulties.

It was derived from "鎖縁" (kusari-en) or "chain relationship", a term that refers to a close and inseparable relationship between two people, often described as being bound together by chains. "Chain relationship" was a positive term referring to two people bound by fate, as if they were destined to be together. But over time, the "rotten" part was added, and it took on a negative connotation.

Felix: That boar prince, it's been a rotten relationship since birth… No, even before birth. That's why I'm warning you… He harbors a beast within. You can trust in his skill in combat and brute strength, but as a person, he's utterly untrustworthy. You better be careful not to be devoured yourself.

Felix used the exact same term when he warned Byleth about Dimitri in Chapter 2. And the way he described his relationship with Sylvain is actually a far more accurate description of his relationship with Dimitri. Felix did have fond memories of their childhood together, but Dimitri's sadistic smile while torturing the rebels was ingrained in his mind. After that, he no longer wanted to associate with him, but he couldn't break off their relationship due to his family.

Sylvain: So, you're saying it's a rotten relationship, huh? Come on now, Felix. You used to cling to me like glue back in the day. You couldn't beat your brother, got into fights with His Highness, and every time something happened, you came crying to me. Back then, you were so meek and innocent. I doted on you like a little brother… Felix: ...Enough.

Sylvain disagreed that his relationship with Felix was just a rotten relationship. The implication was that it was more of a chain relationship and Felix was trying to downplay how close they were because he was hurt by the way Sylvain was acting.

Felix: Listen. I've held back until now, but there are plenty of things I want to say to you. In your personal life and even on the battlefield, you're frivolous. Whenever something happens, it's always about women… Sylvain: Hmm, what's wrong with that? It's rude to ignore cute girls… Felix: There's a limit to that, you sex fiend. If your sword skills were solid, I could acknowledge that. But you slack off even in training… Do you not feel any guilt about hurting others' feelings and holding them back?

Sylvain's womanizing certainly hurt Felix's feelings, but he was even more hurt by his frivolousness in battle. The implication was that he had no choice but to double down on his training because he was always babysitting Sylvain on the battlefield.

Felix: Being in this military academy, one becomes speechless at the sheer number of fools who, indulged by the power of their Crests and the status of nobility, neglect their training. It's truly astounding. (Best response): It would be good to give them training.

Felix's note to the advice box was undoubtedly written with a particular person in mind.

Sylvain: You know, since way back, I've been doing stupid things, and you've always been there to yell at me… Felix: Both of us getting lectured by Ingrid because of you… Try to put yourself in my shoes, I got dragged into it every time. Sylvain: Yeah yeah, that's right. Our relationship hasn't changed no matter how many years have passed. But you've changed, Felix. You were so adorable when we were kids… Now, you've become completely warped. I wonder why you grew up like this… Felix: Tch… You, on the other hand, are still a good-for-nothing, just like in the past. Sylvain: Ahahaha, what's that? Is that something the person who has always been by my side would say? Even now, look, you came all the way to me with the intention to apologize for what happened the other day, right?

Sylvain wasn't intimidated by Felix. But being yelled at by him still hurt his feelings and he kept his distance afterwards. And Felix came crawling back to him to apologize. He couldn't sever their relationship even if he was so hurt that he may have wanted to. He was afraid of losing their friendship, so it proves he was lying when he called it a rotten relationship.

Felix: …The boar prince and I have been acquainted since before birth. Before I knew it, he was always by my side… You might even say that, at one time, we were best friends.

Dimitri and Felix were always together as little kids and Felix used to whine unless they could do everything together. I've seen some people say that they were best friends up until the incident suppressing the rebellion when they were 14 or 15. But that didn't appear to be the case. At the time the Tragedy of Duscur occurred, when he was 13, Dimitri considered Glenn his best friend.

Sylvain: However, both His Majesty and Felix have really grown up, haven't they? Ten years ago, they were the kind of guys who would squabble over breaking each other's swords and whatnot…

Felix always went crying to Sylvain whenever he and Dimitri fought. Dimitri broke Felix's sword when they were nine years old. So, even by that age, Felix was clingier with Sylvain than Dimitri.

Sylvain: A little laziness is just right. If you push yourself too hard, you'll just get tired. Oh yeah, I'll treat you to a meal, so let's go out to town together, Felix. Felix: No. Sylvain: Which is more important, going to town with me or training? Felix: Training. See ya.

Sylvain lamented how cute Felix used to be in Houses, Hopes, and even Heroes. He was the only male character that Sylvain was ever interested in spending time with one-on-one. He even invited him out to dinner like he did with girls. It is very likely that he was so sad about how much Felix changed because he used to be his ideal "girl".

Sylvain: More importantly, it's time for the ballroom dance now, isn't it? There's also the White Heron Cup competition, right? So, Professor, who are we sending from our class? (Byleth chooses Sylvain as the representative for the White Heron Cup) Sylvain: Huh, me? Well, um, that's fine I guess. It's a good opportunity to show the girls what I can do. (Byleth does NOT choose Sylvain as the representative for the White Heron Cup) (Japanese) Sylvain: If anything, I'd rather see a beauty dancing than watch a bastard dancing, you know. (English) Sylvain: I get it. No worries, really. I'd rather see a beautiful person dancing instead of some goof like me.

Sylvain lumped himself into the "yarou" category, too. He was eager to impress girls during the Battle of the Eagle and Lion. But he will sound a bit disappointed if you choose him as the White Heron Cup representative. He's happier if you choose a beauty. The term he used for a "beauty" was "美人" (bijin). It means "beautiful person," but it is primarily used to refer to beautiful women.

It can sometimes be used to describe an exceptionally attractive man, although less commonly. Generally, "bijin" is more commonly associated with feminine beauty in Japanese language and culture. While it can technically be used to describe individuals of any gender who are considered beautiful, the term often carries connotations of traditional or stereotypical feminine beauty standards.

And since "yarou" is gendered, you'd think that "beautiful woman" would be the obvious way to translate that line, right? But I have to give the localizers credit where credit is due. They used "beautiful person" rather than "beautiful woman". Because they knew Sylvain would not have minded one bit if Felix had been the White Heron Cup representative.

Felix: You seem like you have something to say. …You're not seriously considering choosing me as the representative for the White Heron Cup, are you? (Byleth does NOT choose Felix as the representative for the White Heron Cup) Felix: I see. That's fine then.

Felix is unsociable. He gets annoyed if Byleth stares at him too long during teatime and he struggles to maintain eye contact when talking to people. Yet he was not as opposed to participating in a dance contest as you'd expect. He even brought it up himself. If you don't pick him, he doesn't sound relieved like most of the others. In fact, in Japanese, I'd say he sounds a tiny bit disappointed. His objection seemed to be dancing with a girl, not dancing in general.

Felix: I'd much rather swing a sword at the training grounds than dance with a girl at the ball. Sylvain: Huh? Your Highness and Felix, are you joking…? You can dance with all the girls in the school. Do you mean to say that on such a wonderful day, you two dudes will be practicing swordplay with each other…? That doesn't seem like a sane idea!

One the "Night of Promises", Dimitri was not looking forward to the ball because he was sad that he was never going to rekindle his spark with Edelgard. He still attends the ball, and the cutscene shows him dancing next to Edelgard, as if to imply that he wished he was dancing with her instead of the girl he was actually dancing with. Felix felt the same way as Dimitri. He said he was going to skip out and train instead, something that made Sylvain sad. He used the word "yarou" once again here, emphasizing the masculine nature of the activity he's criticizing.

Felix: But… to the casual observer, it might not look entirely unlike a tryst between a man and a woman. If you're truly dissatisfied, then that's your compromise. Byleth: Unfriendly. Felix: Call it whatever you want. I'm about to head back to the training grounds.

If Byleth meets Felix at the Goddess Tower, his dialogue indicated that he did indeed skip the ball to practice at the training grounds.

Sylvain: When I heard you were heading to the Goddess Tower, I wondered who you were having a tryst with… I never expected you'd just be standing there alone, lost in thought. Byleth: Tryst...? Sylvain: Wait a minute. Seriously, what's going on? When someone goes to the Goddess Tower, isn't it to meet a lover? Here, vows exchanged are sure to be fulfilled… It's the lovers' sanctuary, you know. (Option 1) Byleth: Why did you come alone? Sylvain: Huh? Oh, well... Truth be told, I was curious about who you were waiting for. I hurried to catch up, only to find you alone in the end... Well, I must say, it put my mind at ease.

Sylvain goes to the Goddess Tower simply because he was curious about who Byleth was waiting for and was relieved to find out that she was alone. Then afterwards, he offers to make a vow with her.

(Option 2) Byleth: Don't you need to invite a female student? Sylvain: That's true. I could have invited someone, but my true love is right in front of me. Being alone at the Goddess Tower means I can try to woo you, right?

The phrase Sylvain used for "true love" was "本命の相手" (honmei no aite). "本命の" (honmei no) translates to "main," or "primary". "相手" (aite) translates to "partner" or "opponent," depending on the context. The phrase typically refers to the person that the individual truly loves or considers as their most significant romantic interest.

HOWEVER. It also translates as "favorite opponent" in specific contexts, particularly in sports or competitive activities where "aite" means "opponent" or "rival." In that context, it refers to the most formidable opponent in a competition or match, the one whom the athlete or team considers their top rival or challenger.

Byleth: …Me? Sylvain: Yes. Who else would I be talking about?

Who else would he be talking about? Well maybe someone who spends a lot of time with Byleth as a sparring partner? Someone who was absent from the ball? Perhaps someone he made a promise together with in the past?

Sylvain: Hey, Professor, I won't make you unhappy. So, how about getting married… Byleth: You're not trustworthy. Sylvain: Haha, well, that's true.

Sooo. Why did Sylvain go to the Goddess Tower? Was Byleth his true love? Or was she actually his primary rival for his true love? Well, I think we can rule out the "true love" option.

Felix: This is troublesome… The enemy is just a bunch of thieves. I doubt there are any skilled fighters among them. Sylvain: Don't be so cold. I'm looking forward to it. Come on, there might be a beautiful female thief among them.

Felix was always trying to prove his worth in battle. And Sylvain was always goofing off because he didn't value his own life. Before the group's first battle against bandits in Houses, he wasn't acting serious because there would most likely not be skilled fighters among them. He even made a joke about flirting with one of them.

Felix: If they're in a state of confusion right now, we can easily round them all up. I'm on my way. Sylvain: …No, no, no, hold on a second. Don't you think there's something strange about that fortress?

In Hopes, the bandits were a much greater threat than they anticipated, and Sylvain completely changed his tune. You gain Support points with Felix if you suggest charging the fort. But you gain points with Sylvain if you suggest a more cautious approach.

Sylvain: Ah, I thought since it's a festival day, there wouldn't be any lectures, and we could play all day… Hey, Professor. Even if you were planning an assassination, would you really choose the day of the Rite of Rebirth for it? I feel like there might be times when security is less tight. Or is there a reason it has to be this day?

Before the Rite of Rebirth, there was an assassination attempt on Lady Rhea. Sylvain didn't take it seriously because he knew the monastery's security would be tighter than ever on that day, and he was just goofing off and chatting up Hilda.

Sylvain: …But it's strangely quiet these days. Is it because the knights are out and about? Felix: I heard the knights are putting all their effort into tracking down the enemy. Sylvain: Putting all their effort… Isn't that a bit too much? Is it okay to neglect the monastery's defense? Felix: …How do you see this situation? Byleth: Maybe you're worrying too much. Sylvain: Is that so… Well, I hope the knights come back soon.

But after Jeralt was killed by intruders, he was standing with Felix, worrying about the thin security with all the knights out looking for the enemy. It's a very nice bit of subtle storytelling, showing that, even if he seemed like he was always goofing off, he was serious about Felix's safety and always kept an eye on him.

Sylvain: Come to think of it, you don't like sweets, huh? Well, thanks. I'll eat it later. …So, what do you want me to do? Ah, you want me to play matchmaker with a girl? Felix: Is your head filled with sugar or something? I'm just here to thank you for the battle the other day. If you hadn't noticed the ambush, I would probably be dead by now. Sylvain: Oh, right... But isn't that just how it goes? On the battlefield, it's all about mutual support. That's what comrades do, right? Felix: …You haven't changed a bit. Sylvain: Yeah, I'm still the same as ever. Felix: You always…

Felix is the only partner who will confess their feelings for Sylvain at the end of the Support chain. You could tell that he was mulling it over in the A-Support. He even brought a gift of sweets for Sylvain before he planned to tell him how he felt. But he chickened out. Still, he was going to say that he was grateful to Sylvain for always protecting him ever since they were kids.

Sylvain: His Majesty or Felix would probably make better hunting partners than me. I prefer to just sit back and watch.

While there are no specific childhood anecdotes related to this, a comment Sylvain made during his Hopes expedition did imply that he occasionally accompanied Dimitri and Felix on their hunting trips.

Felix: Boars are naturally wary animals, but this one seems injured… If it senses us, it'll charge. We can't afford to get injured by its massive rush. Raphael: Huh? Felix, you sound like you've fought something like this before? Felix: It's a story from many years ago, but I once let a similar quarry slip away. [...] House Blaiddyd and House Fraldarius used to go on hunting trips together. On one trip, a certain prince killed so many deer it proved impossible to fit them all on the sled. Meanwhile, I went off hunting on my own, encountered the boar, and barely escaped with my life.

Felix had a near-death encounter with a wild boar as a child. And I strongly suspect that Sylvain was the one who saved his life and got pretty hurt in the process.

Felix: You've always been like this since we were kids. Normally so unreliable, but you've always thrown yourself in harm's way and helped us when it really counted. …Every time you managed to put on that carefree smile for us, I cannot deny that I wanted to hug you a little. Sylvain: O-Oh… You're the one spouting those kinds of lines? Have you eaten something strange? Felix: Tch… I won't say it again, you fool! Now that I know you're safe, I'm going back to my room.

In the A+ Support, Felix will finally say what he was thinking back in the A-Support. He will mention how Sylvain would literally put his body on the line and then smile afterwards. And Sylvain told Marianne that a smile was the true measure of a person's worth. He always smiled because it made him feel strong.

Felix uses the word "抱いていた" (dakishiteita). It means "embrace" or "hold." It can mean to literally hold, hug, or embrace someone in a physical sense. Or it can be used metaphorically to express the idea of cherishing or harboring a feeling of admiration or longing. But the writers probably chose that word for its dual meaning.

Felix was certainly trying to communicate his admiration for Sylvain's ability to smile even when he's hurt and in a lot of pain. And in doing so, he made his intense longing for Sylvain clear. And I do not think the localizers were wrong to have Felix express his desire to hug Sylvain in a literal sense. It was all part of the same package.

Sylvain: Alright, alright. Then I'll wait while having a meal until you feel like it. Come on, Felix, let's grab a meal in town. I'll treat you. How about some meat? Felix: …Alright. I owe you one. Just for today, I'll go along. Sylvain: After we fill our stomachs, then we can go chat up some girls… Felix: ………. Sylvain: Just kidding, jeez, you're really short-tempered. Come on, let's go together, Felix!

Sylvain offered to treat Felix to dinner in their B-Support, and he got rejected. In the A-Support, he offered again, and Felix agreed because he owed him. Now, Sylvain offered to treat Byleth—even the male—to dinner in his Paralogue because he saved his life, and he owed him. So, that probably wasn't what he wanted to hear.

In Sylvain's mind, relationships were always transactional, and he was very suspicious over whether anyone really wanted to spend time with him. He even suspected that Felix came to give him the sweets just so he could set him up with a girl. So, he apparently tested Felix's intentions by suggesting they chat up girls afterward. Ya know, just to make sure they're on the same page and it's really a date. In light of what Felix intended to say, it's clear why he was upset.

Sylvain: ...Hey, uh, Ingrid. Training again today? Ingrid: No, today I'm going to the city to buy supplies. Training comes afterward. Is there something wrong? Sylvain: N-no, you're still as serious as ever, huh? Some things never change. Ingrid: …What are you talking about? I haven't changed at all. Sylvain: Y-yeah, you're right, haha. Ingrid: …Hey, what's up, Sylvain? Did you eat something strange? Sylvain: N-no, it's not that. Um… Have you found someone you like?

Sylvain was always smooth whenever he was flirting with girls. But in his A+ Support with Ingrid, he was incredibly flustered and stumbling over his words. He's a completely different person when he's really fallen for someone. Taken at face-value, the player would assume that he has fallen for Ingrid. And while that is certainly a valid interpretation, it actually isn't the only interpretation. He was particularly worried that she had been training a lot lately.

Sylvain: No, it's not like I'm flustered or anything. …I was just a little curious about the reason, that's all. Ingrid: …The reason for the makeup, huh. What do you think it is? Sylvain: Well… Is it because of a guy? If we're talking about someone you might like, going by your past tendencies… Felix…No, His Highness is also a possibility.

And the first person he asked about was Felix, due to Ingrid's history with Glenn and how Felix had changed to be more like him. But was it because he was afraid Felix would steal Ingrid from him? Or was he afraid Ingrid would steal Felix from him? While many people consider Ingrid the "canon" love interest for Sylvain, they deliberately left their A+ Support open to interpretation. I have no doubt that the writers preferred Felix as Sylvain's love interest, but they didn't want to make a gay pairing too obvious, so they left it open for Ingrid, too.

Sylvain: I've been given the opportunity for revenge. I won't waste it… even if it means stabbing each other to death…!

Regardless of which one you interpret as his love interest, Ingrid and Felix were the two most important people to Sylvain. If you do not recruit them in CF, they will die at Arianrhod, and Sylvain's dialogue changes in response during "Field of Revenge". The Japanese verb he uses "刺し違える" (sashichigaeru) literally refers to stabbing one another and killing each other.

Sylvain: Professor! Has it really been five years? We ought to raise a glass to the occasion. Celebrate your return. Nah, I'd rather commemorate it with your death.

Sylvain's CF arc is very interesting. He becomes like Miklan. The foreshadowing in his B-Support with Byleth was intended for this exact moment. He was so jealous of Byleth's ability to live freely that he wanted to kill them. And now he gets the chance. He doesn't care if he dies as long as he gets his revenge for his two friends. Sylvain felt like his parents only valued him for his Crest and his brother wanted him dead. But those two really loved him. He was so driven to kill Byleth in CF because s/he took everything from him.

Mercedes: You can't choose where you're born. It's like flowers not being able to choose where they bloom. Since we don't suffer from hunger or thirst, we can't complain even if the place is cramped. It's the same for both of us… We all have to bloom where we're planted. Sylvain: It's true that flowers can't choose where to bloom. They can't go where they want to go until they die, and if the environment is bad, they will just wither away.

Because of the arranged marriage looming over his head, Sylvain felt like a flower with his roots firmly planted. He didn't feel like he could go where he wanted to go until he died.

Sylvain: Finally… I can go to the place where they are… I'm sorry, Your Majesty… I… will go ahead and wait… Dimitri: Thank you, Sylvain. I will also… definitely go to where you all are.

And where did he want to go? To the place where Ingrid and Felix were. CF!Sylvain was relieved that he could finally join them upon his death, something that was sadly not included in the localized version. That line was especially relevant to his relationship with Felix because they promised to die together.

Sylvain: Me… disliking girls? Hahaha, no way, no way, not at all! I'm always serious when it comes to girls. I put my life on the line to woo them. Dorothea: You should focus on one person and then say that. You only have one life, and usually, there's only one person you can love enough to stake your whole life on.

Sylvain has the fewest number of paired endings out of any student. Understandably, very few women would consider marrying him. Mercedes would in order to escape her arranged marriage, but she'd have to give up her dream. And Ingrid would because she loved him and thought she needed to take care of him or else he'd end up like Glenn. But she'd also have to give up her dream.

In his S-Support proposal, Byleth was not quite sure if Sylvain was being sincere because he was still using shallow words. And Dorothea did not trust him, either, because he had to propose to her at least ten times. And of course, Dorothea will marry pretty much any nobleman in the game to secure her future. Felix had no one pressuring him and nothing to gain from being with Sylvain.

Sylvain: Do you remember? We made a promise when we were kids. That we'd die together. Felix: ...I remember. Sylvain: So, you see, there's no way I'd die before you and leave you behind.

In English, "dying together" could be taken as platonic. Just brothers-in-arms or best friends. However, there's a cultural nuance to it in Japanese because that phrase is often used in a romantic context. It implies that they will not just die but spend their whole lives together. It was, in essence, a marriage proposal.

Felix: …Well, I suppose that's true. But I'm fed up with getting terrified like this. You shouldn't just fool around all the time. Take your training seriously for once. …If you end up carelessly throwing your life away, I won't be able to die with you. Sylvain: Yeah, you're right. Once I'm healed, I'll try to be a bit more serious.

Felix uses the phrase "肝を冷やす" (kimo-o-hiyasu). It's an expression that literally translates to "cooling the liver" but figuratively means "to be frightened" or "to be scared stiff." It refers to the feeling of fear or nervousness that causes a person's body temperature to drop, often likened to a sensation of chilling one's liver.

Their entire Support chain was about how Felix never really changed. He always prioritized his training over hanging out because he was absolutely terrified that Sylvain would get himself killed and they wouldn't have a future together. After finally realizing this, Sylvain reaffirmed his childhood promise. He no longer wanted to die.

Sylvain: Anyway, I suppose you just said the things I usually say, right? Even if it's the same pick-up line, serious guys' words are taken seriously.

When Felix said Sylvain was frivolous in their C-Support, he used the word "不真面目" (fumajime). When Sylvain said he'd be more serious from now on, he used the word "真面目" (majime), which is the opposite. He also used this word in his Support with Dimitri. It means "serious" or "earnest" in English. It describes someone who is diligent, takes things seriously, and is sincere.

The "Sincerest of Knights" was not just saying that he would take his training seriously. He was also saying that he would take his personal life seriously. He wouldn't be frivolously going around picking up girls and telling them he loves them enough to stake his life on them anymore. Because he already found the one.

Sylvain: These five years, fighting and fighting… Finally, the tough times have come to an end. A new era is about to begin. …So, I thought it's about time I put an end to my own fate. Byleth: Put an end to? Sylvain: Yes. My fate is not determined by something like a Crest; it's determined by me… This is the first step towards that. Not someone trying to use my Crest, not someone decided by someone else, and not just a playmate…

Death is the arcana of transformation and typically refers to a need to start over by letting go of the past. It is about moving forward from outworn and outgrown ways of life. And that's what Sylvain's character arc was all about, regardless of whether he marries Byleth.

The term for "put an end to" is "けじめ" (kejime). It can be translated as "closure," "settling accounts," "bringing something to an end," or "establishing a clear boundary." It suggests that Sylvain is finally ready to confront his fear, establish firm boundaries with his father, and decide for himself who he forms intimate relationships with.

Sylvain: But our feet aren't roots. We can move ourselves and go where we want. If we navigate cleverly, we might not have to give up what we want to do. [...] I'm not trying to court you or anything like that. But if I, as the legitimate son of Gautier, were to propose to you… The other party would have no choice but to withdraw. It might sour our relations a bit, though. Afterward, you can do as you please. You can work at the church or become whatever you want. Mercedes: But if you did that, Sylvain, you wouldn't be able to marry the person you love, right? Sylvain: Hahaha, I'm not being serious about that.

Sylvain is a Gemini. Being the Twins, they'll flit from person to person to see what everyone has to offer, but once they commit, their lives are complete and whole. Because he and Felix made such a promise before the game even started, it suggests that they were both in love with each other, regardless of whether you go for their paired ending.

And if Sylvain already had someone that he wanted to spend his life with, but that he wasn't free to do so because they were the wrong gender to produce heirs, then it paints his behavior in a different light. His storyline was about forbidden love. He changes his behavior in Hopes because he realizes that he can go where he wants and doesn't have to give up on being with the person he loves.

Felix: I was raised to value strength above all else. Whereas you had a reason, an ambition, pushing you toward that hunger. So, tell me. What was the reason? Why were you driven to become so strong?

Not only is Sylvix the best relationship for Sylvain's growth, but it is also the best relationship for Felix's too. Felix was also a victim of Faerghus's patriarchal culture. He was taught to swing a sword before he could write and was raised with the motto: "Grow strong so you may live, and live to grow stronger".

Felix: It's like training with my brother. He always won—always—and died before I could win a single bout. From the first time I held a sword, all I wanted was to surpass him. And that's what drove me to become so strong.

Since Felix was a child, his main ambition in life was to surpass his brother, who he always lost to while sparring. And that sense of purpose continued to subconsciously drive him, even nine whole years after he died.

Rodrigue: …My eldest son was quite outstanding, you know. He was knighted at the age of fifteen.

Glenn possessed exceptional swordsmanship ability. Felix was probably so obsessed with surpassing his brother at swordplay because he was trying to earn the admiration of his father.

Felix: Sorry, but I'm not "Emile." And of course, I'm not your brother. Tch… It's so annoying being compared to someone else. Mercedes: I'm really sorry… I'll be on my way then. …Oh, the tea refill is here. Please help yourself if you'd like. …Well, see you. Felix: …I am me. Regardless of what anyone says, I'm not anyone else. …Isn't that right…Brother.

The English localization changed several lines in Felix's C-Support with Mercedes, giving it a slightly different meaning than the original Japanese version. The verb used by Felix is "重ねる" (kasaneru). It means "to pile up" or "to layer". Metaphorically, in this context, it conveys the concept of overlapping an image of one person with someone else, because they remind you of them. The Japanese version made it sound like "You're you, not anyone else" was something Glenn had to remind Felix often.

Shez: Is Dimitri really that much like his dad? Rodrigue: Oh, yes, absolutely. Well, the late King was a bit more hot-headed, it seems… Compared to me and my son, they are spitting images of each other. See, we don't resemble each other much. Shez: Yeah, you're really not very similar at all. Your looks aside, of course.

The concept of "kasaneru" played into Rodrigue's relationship with both of his sons. He had trouble viewing them as their own people, rather than just reflections of himself. He was very proud that Glenn took after him and disappointed that Felix did not. He also projected his own feelings onto Glenn. While it did seem like he chose to defend Dimitri to the death, he was not satisfied to die.

Felix: …Hmph. It's a waste to keep someone like you as a woman. Leonie: Oh, come on. That's what's wrong with you. Strength has nothing to do with gender. It's because you underestimate your opponent that you fall into traps. Felix: …Yeah, you're right.

I've seen some people accuse Felix of being a misogynist because of several comments he made to female characters. One comment was to Ingrid about finding a husband, which I'll get to later. Another was his comment to Leonie about being impressive "for a girl". His comment in Japanese is actually entirely different. He was saying that Leonie is so strong that it's a waste because strength isn't a trait that is appreciated or expected of females in Fódlan.

Felix was implying that her talents might be better suited for manhood. And she actually made him question that way of thinking. This Support showed how Felix was aware that some people don't naturally conform traditional gender roles and it would make their lives much easier if they were the opposite sex. Which is something he had undoubtedly thought about himself.

Felix: It's all well and good to remember the dead, but sentimentality will get you killed. All the tears in the world couldn't bring them back, after all. Ingrid: You have always viewed the world in such stark terms. It might even be one of your strengths. But one day, you will learn that emotions and sentimentality are also a strength, not a curse.

Felix is a Pisces, which is considered one of the most feminine signs of the zodiac due to its association with sensitivity, intuition, empathy, and creativity. Pisceans are often described as dreamy, compassionate, and deeply empathetic individuals who are attuned to the emotions and needs of others. As a child, Felix was meek, innocent, clingy, and would cry easily. These are stereotypically feminine traits which would certainly not be valued in a strength-obsessed culture like Faerghus. And especially not in a boy.

Felix: I am tired of it. For years, I've been forced to be a "replacement" for the dead. I had an excellent brother. He was a splendid knight worthy of admiration… He's dead now. After my brother's death, his presence haunted me like a shadow.

The Mother Goddess archetype is a powerful and ancient symbol found in various cultures and mythologies around the world. It represents the qualities of nurturing, fertility, protection, wisdom, and interconnectedness. Some examples are Isis from ancient Egyptian mythology and Mother Mary in Christianity. Sothis was the embodiment of the divine feminine principle.

The one who embodied the divine masculine principle was Nemesis. He represented the Warrior Hero archetype, which embodies qualities such as courage, strength, and valor. Figures like Achilles in Greek mythology, King Arthur in Arthurian legends, and Beowulf in Anglo-Saxon literature exemplify the ideals of the Warrior Hero.

Despite being the most religious country, the actual values of Faerghus were much more aligned with the Warrior Hero than the Mother Goddess. The Crest of Fraldarius is associated with the Emperor arcana. It represents the divine masculine principle. As the replacement heir, Felix's patriarchal duty was to serve as the king's sword and shield. But he hated the ideals of chivalry.

Dimitri: Heh. You know, Felix, you really are growing more and more like your brother. Always so sarcastic, and constantly looking for a fight. But deep inside, more than anyone, you—

The concept of "kasaneru" factored into Dimitri and Felix's relationship as well. Felix's gruff personality was not the natural effect of puberty. It was the result of being forced into a role he wasn't suited for. He hated bloodshed. His first battle left him horrified and he needed to desensitize himself to cope. After losing his brother and becoming a squire, his naturally sentimental and meek personality changed to become more like his brother, "sarcastic and constantly looking for a fight". Stereotypically masculine traits.

Bernadetta: Felix, did you just smile? And it was a really big smile, right? Hehehe, it's like cracking open a tough nut and finding a sweet smile inside… Felix: Tch… Don't get cocky, silly girl. Bernadetta: Oh no, the shell closed! Felix: …You've got guts to tease me like that. Seems like you really want to get in trouble.

The word Bernadetta used was "甘い" (amai). It is used for "sweet" and, just like in English, is often used to describe something that is sweet in taste or metaphorically sweet in demeanor or expression. In Japan, sweets are culturally coded as childish and feminine and liking meat is considered masculine. Did Felix truly not like sweets? Or did he just avoid them because of how they are perceived?

Bernadetta: Felix, please try this. This candy has a reputation for not being sweet. (Normal) Felix: I refuse. Whether it's sweet or not, I don't like candy. (Felix & Lysithea support level B reached) Felix: Candy, huh... If you say it's not sweet, should I take some?

It's worth noting that Felix will refuse to eat unsweet candy that Bernadetta offers him in their A+ Support. But he will actually give the candy a try if he has reached B-Support with Lysithea, after he tries her cake. And in their paired ending, he gives up the sword to spend to his life baking sweets with her. So, it suggests that he was just concerned with keeping up appearances.

Felix: If I were to die here, would you say something like you did when it was my brother? "That's the true end for a knight."

During World War II, ultra-nationalists popularized Yamato Nadeshiko as the female manifestation of Yamato Damashii. It is the term for an idealized Japanese man and refers to the traditional virtues and characteristics associated with him. These include loyalty, courage, honor, selflessness, and a strong sense of duty. This concept is deeply rooted in Japanese culture and history, reflecting the values upheld by the samurai class and other historical figures.

Dimitri: My closest friend was a knight who served the royal family. He was near to my own age, and I admired him greatly. But one day, I watched him die. He stood his ground and fought bravely, but his life was snuffed out in the blink of an eye all the same. Ingrid: I always looked up to Glenn. He was the very picture of a perfect knight—noble and virtuous. In the end, he laid down his life—the ultimate sacrifice. I feel proud of him in ways that words can't quantify. Rodrigue: To this day, I'm proud of Glenn. He gave his life to protect Prince Dimitri. If he had abandoned His Highness and fled, I don't know that I could have forgiven him… I would have been deeply ashamed.

Glenn was less a character and more an archetype. He represented the ideal man of Faerghus that Felix was supposed to aspire to be. Since he was a child, his purpose in life was getting strong enough to beat Glenn at sparring. He felt like he would only be valued if he became more like his brother. And after the Tragedy of Duscur, he felt like his father would only value him if he died.

Sylvain: The old Felix was really adorable, but what happened to make him like that? (Best Answer): Say it's part of growing up.

Whenever Felix lost to Glenn at sparring, he would go crying to Sylvain. It is likely that Sylvain was the one person, other than Glenn, who made Felix feel appreciated for who he really was. Rodrigue, Dimitri, and Ingrid always talked about how admirable Glenn was. Sylvain always talked about how adorable Felix was and was sad about how he had changed. After losing his brother, Felix probably felt like his purpose in life was keeping his promise with Sylvain.

(If Byleth is male) Felix: Having heard of your skills, I'm eager to meet you in battle. Come to the training ground later. There, you will show me what you're capable of.

Regardless of gender, Felix viewed Byleth as his personal rival, just like he did with Glenn when he was a kid.

(If Byleth is female) Sylvain: Such benevolence is a sight to behold! I don't suppose you would care to join me for tea? We could discuss education…and marriage. Felix: Control yourself, Sylvain. I have more important matters to discuss with our new professor. Come to the training ground later. There, you will show me what you're capable of.

Although, interestingly, it was Sylvain's marriage proposal that prompted him to challenge Female Byleth to a sparring match when she first became Professor.

Felix: …What. I thought it might be someone else, but it's you. Byleth: Meeting someone? Felix: I didn't have such plans. …I just wanted to come to a quiet place.

Felix skipped the ball. But he was already at the Goddess Tower when Byleth arrived. He said he just needed some quiet, but wouldn't the training grounds already be quiet on the night of the ball? In Japanese, it's clearer that he was actually expecting someone else instead of her. There's only one person he could possibly have had in mind. The person he made a promise with long ago.

Felix: You know the legend of the Goddess Tower, don't you? The one where vows always come true. It's so absurd it makes me feel like vomiting…but trying to believe in it might be amusing. Let's make a vow to the Goddess of Fódlan. I will… I will, someday, surpass you. I'll surpass your sword, your skills, and as a warrior, I'll defeat you.

Most of the students used the word "約束" (yakusoku) when referring to the legend. It means "promise". There were only a few who used the word "誓い" (chikai). "Chikai" conveys a stronger sense of commitment and means "oath" or "vow". It often involves a pledge made with deep sincerity and seriousness.

"Chikai" tends to carry a more profound emotional and moral weight than "yakusoku". Byleth rejected Sylvain's request to exchange vows. And her vow with Felix was quite unromantic. Before swearing his vow, Felix closed his eyes, which he also does in his A+ Support when he remembers his promise with Sylvain.

Byleth: What kind of vow is that? Felix: What, unsatisfied? If you're looking for a romantic relationship, I'm sorry, but hit up some other man. Unfortunately, I've lived a life devoid of such things. Blades, blood, and battles. That's all I am.

Felix wasn't disinterested in love. He was disillusioned with love. After feeling unloved by his father and cheated on by Sylvain, he was trying to fill the void of love with strength. The only way he knew how to prove his worth to himself was on the battlefield. And that was the only sense of purpose he had left in life, anyway.

Felix: Once I decided to fight alongside you and the emperor, I was prepared. …Prepared to abandon my country, to strike down my father, and to kill a man I once called a friend. But… my sword feels a bit heavy.

I found Felix's character arc in CF very interesting due to the whole "rotten relationships" idea. Remember how it means "a bad relationship that cannot be cut even if you try"?

Dimitri: Felix… You killed Rodrigue… your own father. Felix: I decided to cut down anyone who stood in my way. Even if it's my own father… Even if it's a friend I spent my childhood with. Dimitri: I see. After this exchange… I have finally resolved to kill you.

When it came down to literally cutting Dimitri out of his life, CF!Felix was very hesitant. He had a sad expression during this dialogue. And it was the same when he fought Ingrid.

Sylvain: Hey, Felix… Remember back when we were kids? We promised we'd die together, didn't we? Felix: ...Yeah, I remember. Sylvain: So… Now, it's gonna be you and me, killing each other. Felix: …Sorry, Sylvain. I'm gonna have to let you die first.

However, he showed absolutely NO hesitation killing Sylvain. In fact, he was even colder to him than he was to Rodrigue. Sylvain was clearly the real target of Felix's revenge in this chapter, not the boar. When Ingrid warned Sylvain that he was going to get stabbed if he kept cheating, it was probably foreshadowing for this moment.

Sylvain did not take CF!Ingrid's disloyalty personally and was not angry at her. He was just happy that her stubbornness hadn't changed. But he was very angry at CF!Felix. It was the betrayal he wanted revenge for. He specifically brought up their promise before expressing his desire to fight to the death. He was fully prepared to be stabbed to death, but he wanted to take Felix with him.

Rodrigue: Hmm. The dreams I held dear as a child have either already come true…or never will.

The Hero's Relic of House Fraldarius is the Aegis Shield, a reference to Greek mythology. It's likely no coincidence that Rodrigue's middle name is "Achille". He was probably inspired by Achilles, the warrior hero from the Iliad. Achilles' strong reaction to his childhood companion Patroclus' death is often taken as a sign that their relationship was possibly deeper than friendship. He lamented, "My dear comrade Patroclus has fallen—he whom I valued more than all others, and loved as dearly as my own life? I have lost him."

Rodrigue: No matter how much we grieve, the dead won't return. There's no way for them to hear our words. That's why their presence binds those living in the present like a curse. The more we cherished them, the more we become entangled and suffer… I'm not strong enough to scold His Highness for his foolishness. Byleth: Even so… Rodrigue: Yes. It seems scolding and getting them back on their feet is our duty as adults, isn't it? …Despite speaking so arrogantly, in the end, I am unfit to be an adult, aren't I?

When I first played AM and got to the scene called "Entrusting the Future", I assumed Rodrigue was still talking about Glenn when he lamented how the dead can't return.

Rodrigue: We both have a disposition where we can't just live without purpose. Both Felix and me. I lived to serve him, the late King Lambert… to support him as his right hand. Having lost the king I should serve, having lost the purpose of my life… I thought about what I should live for… And in the end, I made fulfilling our promise my new purpose. Shez: A promise… What was the promise about? Rodrigue: He asked me to admonish and correct his child if he ever strayed from the right path.

But after playing AG, there was another scene called "Entrusting the Future". And I realized he was actually talking about Lambert all along, not Glenn. AM!Rodrigue understood why Felix hated him for his comment about Glenn's death and he didn't blame him.

Dimitri: Every time I see the expression of longing on your face when you remember my father, there's always a thought that crosses my mind. I wonder if you wished to live and die alongside him. Rodrigue: …Haha, you're overthinking it, Your Majesty. Despite appearances, I consider myself quite resilient. No, I didn't wish for my own death when Lambert passed. However… if it were to fulfill a promise with him, I believe I'd be satisfied to die.

The concept of "kasaneru" played a large role in Rodrigue's relationship with Dimitri. It was very telling that he decided that his new reason to live was not to help his surviving son get back on his feet, but instead keeping his promise to Lambert. Dimitri had strayed from the right path, but Rodrigue could not scold him. In VW, this enabling caused Dimitri to throw everyone's lives away at Gronder Field. In AM, when the consequences of Dimitri's actions came back to bite him, Rodrigue took the punishment on himself, stating how there are no sins or punishments on the battlefield.

Rodrigue: He left home on his own, and now… this foolish son of mine. Felix: I have no intention of returning to you. Nor do I have any intention of returning to that boar. Rodrigue: …When a child misbehaves, it's the parent's responsibility. Felix… right here and now, you'll die!

Yet Rodrigue said he would not have forgiven Glenn if he had run away at Duscur. He could not even forgive his own teenage son for an act of cowardice on the battlefield. And if Felix joins CF, he has absolutely NO problems punishing him with death. I could understand and empathize with Rodrigue more after playing AG. I don't think he was a bad person. But he was certainly a bad father. He valued Lambert's (and Dimitri's) life above all others, even his own. And even his own sons. And Felix could pick up on that.

Felix: So, the old man's dead… Dimitri: Yes. Felix: I'll cut you down. Prepare yourself, you damn boar! Dimitri: Very well. Come at me, Felix!

There is unused dialogue that was apparently meant to be an alternate scenario based on whether Felix was defeated in Part 1 and was unrecruited in Part 2. I suspect much of his vitriol towards Dimitri in AM stemmed from jealousy over his father's affection. And because of him, he lost the chance to ever make up with his father. Their AM battle dialogue is the opposite of CF. This Felix had no hesitation cutting Dimitri out of his life violently and was prepared to die with him.

Felix: Sylvain, stand aside. My blade thirsts for his blood, not yours. Sylvain: Then surrender already. I don't want to fight you, either! Felix: …Sorry. That isn't up for discussion.

But he had no desire to fight Sylvain. Because they could not finish their Support chain, Felix could not reaffirm his promise and find a new reason to live. I'm sure Sylvain knew that he was throwing his life away by trying to kill Dimitri and he was desperate to stop him. It's hard to overstate just how much more emotional Sylvain sounded in the Japanese version. He really did NOT want to fight Felix.

Rodrigue: Remember when I told you about the time I acted foolishly and got myself into trouble? Lambert broke through enemy lines and told me, "Don't waste your life." Although he was covered in wounds, so it wasn't very persuasive, was it? Dimitri: Haha, indeed. You two were truly good friends. I'm so envious of my father. Rodrigue: Haha, saying that would only make my son jealous. He'd ask, "What am I to you?"

As a descendant of the hero Fraldarius, Felix was expected to have the same kind of bond with Dimitri that Kyphon had with Loog and Rodrigue had with Lambert. But I never got the impression that he did. In Hopes, he inherits his father's title and position as the king's right-hand, similar to his solo ending in Houses.

His duty was to act as the Shield of Faerghus, and that involved protecting Dimitri, primarily from his own suicidal recklessness. That was a role he played in Houses as well, but he was mainly protecting Sylvain from himself instead of Dimitri. That's not to say that Felix did not care for Dimitri's safety in Houses. He just delegated those duties to Byleth, like when he asked her to "cage the boar".

Sylvain: Be careful, will you? …Jeez, you've even got bruises on your neck. If something were to happen to you, we don't know what will become of Faerghus, do we? Felix: I won't say it'll go smoothly without me, but I always assume I might die on the battlefield. Sylvain: Seriously, Felix… if you were to disappear now, what would happen to Faerghus and His Majesty?

It did not seem like being the Shield of Faerghus gave Felix a true sense of purpose or a reason to live. Sylvain's appeals for him to survive because Faerghus and Dimitri needed him did not seem to be very effective. In Hopes, he was pretty nonchalant about dying on the battlefield, causing Sylvain to scold him for being reckless. It was the exact opposite of their Houses Supports.

Sylvain: You and me, we'll support His Majesty and Faerghus, by complementing each other's weaknesses. Felix: …Yeah. Um… in the future too, I'll count on you. I hate to admit it, but I probably need you. Maybe. Besides… without you, everyone else would be insufferably gloomy. Sylvain: I get it. You don't have to say it. I'll always be with you, no matter what.

In Hopes, Felix was there to help Dimitri get back on his feet, both literally and figuratively. But Sylvain was the only one he could ever lean on. Felix was raised to believe it was his duty to be a literal human shield. And that's why it meant so much to him that Sylvain would always protect him.

Shez: Well, you know, Sylvain, who always fights with you, ends up being swarmed by enemies... Felix: …That's because every time, he boasts about taking charge with nonsense like "Leave it to me." Well, I believe he'd manage to get through any predicament, no matter how dire.

There was a change in Felix's C-Support with Shez. The localization stated that Felix would always get surrounded by enemies when fighting with Sylvain. But in the Japanese, it was the opposite.

Matthias: Rodrigue, fall back with the duke. The escape route is secured… Leave it to me. Rodrigue: Matthias… What a fool. Make sure you come back alive. You must! Matthias: It's been a while since I've fought to protect a friend's back. My blood is boiling with youthful fervor! Claude: Risking your life to let allies escape, huh? That's the knightly spirit of Faerghus we admire.

When Matthias died in GW, he said he would be waiting for Rodrigue and Lambert on the other side. It's extremely similar to what Sylvain says when he dies in CF. And there were many parallels between Sylvain and his father in Hopes.

Felix: I can still stand… I can still wield my sword. I can still fight…! Tch… With injuries like these, I won't withdraw…! Sylvain: Felix! Stand down! Aww, look at you all beaten up… Leave this to us and fall back, okay? Felix: Ugh… You better come back. If you're planning to die, I won't forgive you, Sylvain!

When Dedue is low on health during the SB battle at Ailell, Dimitri begs him to fall back because he cannot afford to lose him. But when Felix is low on health and can no longer stand, Sylvain is the one who comes to his aid. Rodrigue made it clear that he expected his son to fight to the death. But because of Sylvain he retreats. His future with Sylvain was the reason he chose to keep on living.

Sylvain: Ah… Felix. I'm glad you're safe. Felix: You, always trying to protect me... Don't be reckless. Even though you're weak, you always, always...! Sylvain: It's fine as long as you're safe. As long as you're alive, I… Felix: You idiot! Don't joke like that. If you ever dare to die, I won't forgive you…!

It's more obvious in Japanese, but what Felix said to Sylvain at the Valley of Torment was almost the exact same as their A+ Support. Sylvain probably knew he was going to die, just like Matthias did in GW. He was fighting to the death as he avenged Ingrid. Even though he wanted to die together with him, if it came down to it, Sylvain was always content to sacrifice his life to let Felix live. He died as a true knight so that Felix wouldn't have to. Felix had the type of bond with Sylvain that he was supposed to have with Dimitri.

Felix: …Well, I was prepared for it to come to this. With Father… and also with that boar, we'll eventually have to part ways.

Felix did not want to become a knight for many reasons. In Japanese, he used the phrase "袂を分かつ" (tasuki wo wakatsu). It literally means "to separate the sleeves" and is often used metaphorically. The imagery evokes the idea of two individuals going their separate ways, often signifying a farewell or divergence of paths. That is his entire motivation if he joins CF.

Felix: For the past five years, I've been fighting under the emperor. …I've slain quite a number of enemies. Now, I must look just like that boar from back then. …It's the face of a cruel beast that revels in blood and violence.

But if he takes that path, he becomes the very boar he hated.

Felix: …He's dead. I heard he was beheaded… But… I didn't see his head. If, by some chance, he's leading that army… Byleth: Are you truly ready to fight? Felix: …Don't underestimate me. Even if it's him, I'm prepared to kill.

In VW, Felix suspected that Dimitri was still alive all along. But he still chose to stay with the Alliance.

Felix: …I never truly understood his hatred and anguish towards the Empire. If it were me…could I have saved him? Could I have… stopped him?

Afterwards, he wondered if he could have saved him from dying like a wild boar. Even if he had stayed with the Kingdom, it wouldn't have made a difference. Only Byleth would have been able to stop him. Felix would have just died pointlessly at Gronder like everyone else. But there was no way for him to know that. In both routes, he suffers from regret and wishes he'd died alongside Dimitri. He is a lost soul, who lives only for the sword and fights with a will to die.

Felix & Sylvain (Non-AM) After the war, minor skirmishes continued throughout various regions in Fódlan. Felix, upon learning that there were battles still to be fought, chose to forsake his noble status and make a living as a swordsman. Over a decade later, he took on the role of a mercenary, and his employer turned out to be Sylvain, who had inherited the title of Margrave Gautier. The two of them were overjoyed to reunite, but their diverging paths meant that their fates would never intertwine further. After finishing his work, Felix left Sylvain's territory, embarking on another journey as a wanderer. It was a few years later when Sylvain received a sword that was unmistakably Felix's.

While Felix can eventually give up the sword and find some peace if he has a female partner, his paired ending with Sylvain is the single most tragic ending in the game. Despite having a chance reunion, Sylvain is unable to save him. While the reason for this is never stated, the Japanese ending offers a clue.

The phrase used in the Japanese ending is "道を違えた" (michi o tagaeta). It translates to "took the wrong path" or "strayed from the path." It implies making a mistake or deviating from the correct course of action, moral path, or intended direction. It emphasizes the idea of going astray or making an error in judgment.

Sylvain's arc was about realizing that his Crest did not decide his fate, he did. After Felix left him, he probably settled down with a random noblewoman, had children, and it was simply too late for him to start a new life with Felix. Because Felix went astray and chose an immoral path, it caused Sylvain to make a big mistake. Felix follows in Glenn's footsteps and dies alone, full of pain and regret. And I can't imagine that Sylvain's fate was any better when Felix's sword arrived on his doorstep. They can only be together in AM and their non-AM ending strongly emphasizes how that was the intended path for them.

Felix: Why did they die while I lived? …Even now, there's not a day I don't question. But I'm not as soft as you. I'll take my regrets to the grave. There are more important things to me now.

The localization did a faithful job with the Dimitri/Felix A-Support. It's just that, in Japanese, there was a line about how Felix would take any regrets to his grave. It was very similar to his A-Support with Rodrigue in Hopes. In AM, Rodrigue dies, and Felix never got to apologize for punching him. He even left a note in the confession box about that. But in Hopes, he could get closure with his father.

Felix and Dimitri's relationship was FAR from healthy. It probably would be much better for both of them to sever their rotten relationship once and for all and walk separate paths in life. And their A-Support was written with the idea that, if this was the final time Felix spoke to Dimitri one-on-one, that would be okay. He said what he needed to say and wouldn't have any regrets. Dimitri could sense his underlying compassion and was content to leave it at that.

Flayn: But isn't there a future beyond that where Felix can avoid taking lives? Felix: …It's fine to dream of such a future, but I don't belong there. After all, I've been swinging a sword ever since I was born. ...Swordsmen are troublesome creatures. Fighting for peace, yet losing our purpose when peace finally arrives. Flayn: …Haha, if that's the case, you need not worry. […] If you felt like you lost your purpose in life, surely you would find a new purpose. It's not like you to fear loss. Felix: …...… You really are something, aren't you? Huh… I've never even thought about it. Maybe there is such a way of living after all. ...I'm starting to get interested. Perhaps swinging a sword for the future you dream of wouldn't be such a bad idea.

One way Felix resembled his father was that he couldn't live without a great purpose in life, and if he lost that purpose, he'd need something to fill the void. He needed a future to look forward to during peacetime. He was intrigued by the idea that one day he could chop wood, fruits, and vegetables instead of people.

Felix: A millennial festival? Talking about festivities at a time like this, you're as carefree as ever, huh… Sylvain: No, no. While it's a celebration, it's also a political gathering where rulers from various countries gather. It wouldn't hurt to think about the future, right? You can't stay uninvolved either. Felix: Well, that may be true. For now, focus on the battle at hand, Sylvain. If you die here, there won't be any millennial festival or anything. Sylvain: Oops, a valid point! Well then, for now, I'll quietly prepare for the deployment. Felix: Do that. Don't neglect your preparations and end up losing your life in some trivial place.

He wielded a sword because he was afraid of loss. Getting stronger would not fulfill him the same way a relationship could. His non-AM endings really emphasize the fact that the sword was just filling the void of a partner.

Felix: I find it easier to wield a sword than to hold a woman's hand.

But personally, I think he was the only gay character in 3H (well, other than perhaps his father). He got along well with women, but I was struck by how unromantic his paired endings with them were. He is the only man to propose to Byleth at the training grounds instead of the Goddess Tower. He spends a lot of time apart from her in their paired ending and is happiest exchanging swords instead of words when they actually do see each other. It felt more like he was replacing the loss of his brother through her than really being in love.

In his ending with Flayn, he continues to wield a sword as Dimitri's right-hand and only gives it up in favor of a quiet life on his estate when Dimitri dies. When he marries Mercedes, Bernadetta, or Dorothea, he becomes the king's right-hand and travels across Fódlan with Dimitri. He spends a lot of time away from Bernie. Dorothea has to accompany him on the battlefield to get quality time.

His ending with Leonie is not romantic and they just become drinking buddies. In his ending with Ingrid, he gives up the sword when he's injured and does not regret it. The only two female paired endings that don't mention warfare, swords, or knighthood are Annette and Lysithea. But it felt like he fell in love with singing, not Annette. And with Lysithea, she dies young and leaves behind her cake recipe.

Felix: You're not cut out to be a knight. How about you start seriously looking for a marriage partner? Ingrid: …What's that supposed to mean? Felix: Just as I said. Ingrid: I understand that you dislike things like chivalry and knightly pride. Just because of that, you keep running away from your duty as the heir of the house… You have no right to speak so high and mighty.

In Japanese Felix did tell Ingrid to go find a husband, but he used the word "結婚相手" (kekkon aite) instead of "夫" (otto) which means husband. "Kekkon aite" refers to someone whom you are seriously considering as a potential marriage partner but may not be formally engaged to or married yet. He wasn't telling her to go find the next man to offer a huge dowry and immediately get engaged.

He was saying that she would be better off dating, finding a serious partner that she loves, and eventually getting married. He did not say this in a disparaging way. He didn't want her to end up like Glenn nor did he want her to blindly follow the orders of a king who he considered bloodthirsty. He genuinely thought that being a wife would be a safer and more fulfilling lifestyle than being a knight.

Dimitri & Felix Dimitri formally succeeded to the throne of the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus after his coronation, dedicating his lifetime to the governance and reform of Fódlan. Behind many of his achievements stood Felix, the Duke of Fraldarius, who sometimes acted as the king's right-hand man and at other times served as his advisor. Bound by a lifelong steadfast friendship, it is said that Felix mourned more intensely at Dimitri's passing than even the queen herself. The tale of their lives, akin to the legendary Lion King Loog and his sworn friend Kyphon, will be passed down through the ages as one of the stories that adorn the history of Fódlan.

In any case, Felix was projecting his own feelings onto Ingrid. If you pair her with Dimitri, it says she supported him as a wife and queen, but still insisted on fighting on the front lines in battle like a knight. If you pair Felix with Dimitri, it says he mourned the king's death more than the queen. Ya know, the wife. Chivalry promotes homoromantic social bonding among men.

Rodrigue had a wife and kids, but he devoted his life to a married (presumably heterosexual) man. He used his position as "sworn friend" of the king to fill the void of an actual gay relationship. He lost his reason for living when Lambert died. In this ending, Felix ends up following in his father's footsteps. I don't think that's a satisfying ending for him.

Dimitri/Felix: "彼らは生涯固い友情で結ばれ" means "They were bound by a lifelong strong friendship." This phrase emphasizes the steadfast and enduring nature of their friendship. The word "固い" means "firm" or "strong," implying a friendship that is resilient and unwavering. Sylvain/Felix: "生涯無二の友であり続けた" means "They remained lifelong inseparable friends." This phrase emphasizes the unique and unparalleled nature of their friendship. The term "無二" means "unparalleled" or "incomparable," suggesting that their bond was extraordinary and unmatched.

I would also like to compare the descriptions of friendship in the Dimitri/Felix ending to the Sylvain/Felix ending. Both phrases convey a deep sense of friendship, but they emphasize slightly different aspects. Dimitri/Felix emphasizes the enduring strength and solidity of their bond. In terms of depth, Sylvain/Felix carries a stronger sense of exclusivity and uniqueness in their friendship.

The term "無二" was also used in Ingrid's AM paired endings with Ashe and Dedue. Her arc was about belonging to herself, not a man. She wanted to go down in history as a knight, not as a wife. For that reason, her paired endings with Ashe and Dedue in AM don't specify her marital status. But the writers still wanted to suggest that she and her male partner were possibly lovers. So "無二" was chosen to emphasize their inseparable bond.

Felix & Sylvain (AM) Felix, who succeeded his deceased father Rodrigue as Duke Fraldarius, and Sylvain, who inherited the title of Margrave Gautier after his father's passing, both devoted their efforts to the restoration and prosperity of the Kingdom. Even amidst their busy days, their friendship never wavered. Felix would occasionally show up at the Gautier family's residence and insult Sylvain, and Sylvain, in turn, would visit the Fraldarius house frequently, solely to tease Felix. Throughout their lives, they remained inseparable friends, and there is even an anecdote that they coincidentally passed away on the same day.

In this ending, both men inherit their fathers' titles, but neither of them is forced to fulfill their unwanted patriarchal duty. Their bond is characterized by mutual devotion, not chivalry or bloodline. Their relationship effectively goes back to how it was when they were kids. Sylvain is free to go where he wants and spends his life with someone he loves, not just someone he can have Crest babies with. While he becomes a famous cheater in his solo ending, and a renowned lord in his others, here historians remember him most for his closeness with Felix.

Like Rodrigue, Felix wished to live and die alongside another man. When paired with most of his wives, he becomes the king's right-hand, a role that would require him to wield a sword and travel. But not in this ending. He stays in Fraldarius territory so he can be available for frequent surprise visits. Sylvain was his true purpose in life, and neither can live without the other. And to me, that is the ideal ending to both of their character arcs. The Shield of Faerghus died like a true knight. "The Shield's Successor" died like a true wife.

#fire emblem #fire emblem three houses #fe3h #sylvain jose gautier #felix hugo fraldarius #sylvix #fe3h meta #this is my otp from 3h #this meta is a doozy and looong #sorry i just had a lot of thoughts about them #and i really wanted to delve into their psychology #because they are such fascinating characters

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thewulf · 10 months

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Why Not? || James Potter

Summary: Can you do a James Potter x reader set during the Marauders time at Hogwarts? I always like the student from america trope if you can. He's tired of chasing after Lily and then you show up. Sirius pulls a prank on the newbie and it goes wrong or something and James has to take you to the hospital wing and he decides he's going after reader next type of thing?

A/N: Whew! This turned out WAY longer than I was expecting. I had fun with it though! Enjoy!

Pairing: James Potter x Y/N

Word Count: 8.0k+

“Mom, come on!” You begrudgingly continued packing your trunk, throwing your clothes in haphazardly. Something you knew would drive her crazy, “I don’t get it. You and dad can move to England for his fancy ministry job, and I can stay here and go to Ilvermorny with all my friends. It totally works mom.” You pleaded with her. You were heading into your sixth year at Ilvermorny and really didn’t want to start over. Much less with the stuck-up students at Hogwarts. You’d heard countless stories of exchange students and their attitudes it put you off the school entirely.

“What do you not understand?” She snapped. Truth be told you did understand why she was exhausted from your incessant questioning of their decision. It was a huge promotion for you dad, one he’d been trying to get for the last five years. It was a no brainer for your family.

You decided to push it anyway, test your mom’s true limits, “I mean, you don’t see me during the school year anyway. What’s the difference?”

“We wouldn’t be able to get to you quickly in an emergency. Apparition is only so fast Y/N.” She gave you a pleading look from the doorway. She looked exhausted. Utterly exhausted. You knew it was best to back off.

You sighed heavily knowing you weren’t going to win, “Fine. Whatever.”

“You’ll like Hogwarts honey.” She walked over patting you on the shoulder, “Your dad studied over there for a few years when his parents did the same.” She tried reassuring you. You simply nodded not feeling like putting up a fight anymore. It wasn’t like what you said mattered. The decision was made without you. You were moving to the UK and going to Hogwarts. That was that.

You’d sent off a hundred letters before heading across the ocean. You’d gotten semi-settled before you had to move into Hogwarts. It was like time was passing and you were stuck. Lost in a world you weren’t ready for just yet. You’d just wished you had more time to process everything as you walked into Hogwarts for the first time. Last week you were set on going back to Ilvermorny. This week you were starting an almost entirely new life.

Your father dropped you off with Professor McGonagall. You learned he’d been sorted into Gryffindor during his three years at Hogwarts. He’d told you all about his time with the house. You didn’t think you’d be a Gryffindor like your father was. The two of you weren’t exactly all that similar.

Your dad was far more outgoing than your quieter one. You’d prefer to sit back and observe in the shadows than take control. Rather learn through watching than doing.

“No offense dad, but I don’t think I’ll be a Gryffindor.” You interrupted him while he was chatting with McGonagall as if it was a sure thing, you’d be joining the Gryffindor house, “I’m a Horned Serpent and you were a Wampus at Ilvermorny. Those are two very different houses.” You said a little more bluntly than you really needed to. You were tired of hearing about Gryffindor. It was more so your stubbornness that was coming out now. You kind of wanted to hurt him. He took you away from your friends, your house, your home. He didn’t even come to talk to you about it before he ripped you away from life you’d already built. He thought just because he loved Hogwarts when he was there, you’d be just fine moving half a world away without even getting to say goodbye first.

A look of hurt briefly crossed his dace before it vanished, “Yeah, we might be a little different sweetheart. But you never know.” He patted your back as he took in the walls he’d known years ago. Nothing had changed. But why would it have? The school had been around for thousands of years and had hardly changed since its inception.

McGonagall nodded, “He’s right. You truly never do know. Let’s go get you sorted.” She smiled knowingly sensing the hesitation of the unknown in front of you.

You gave your dad a long hug before seeing him off, “Love you. See you in a few months.” You gave him a half-assed smile. You tried. You really did. But you weren’t excited. You had no want to be here. You should be getting ready to go to Ilvermorny. Not starting this new life. You knew you needed to get over it, but you were intimidated as hell. It wasn’t easy to make friends. And here you were already quiet as hell going to attempt to make a whole new batch. It was going to be an impossible task you weren’t really ready for.

You followed quietly behind McGonagall giving her short answers to the prodding questions. You didn’t want to be rude, but it was just feeling like too much for you. You didn’t want to start here on such a negative note, but you just couldn’t seem to get happy.

To your surprise she got you smiling by the time you made it to the sorting hat. To your even further surprise you were sorted into Gryffindor. You saw the small smile and nod from the Head of Gryffindor. Almost as if she already knew that was where you were heading. It still didn’t make much sense to you. You’d have thought you would’ve been put in Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff before Gryffindor. The sorting hat must’ve seen something you couldn’t recognize in yourself.

McGonagall got you set up and gave you a quick tour of the important spots to help you get around. She said a girl named Lily would be there early the next morning to help her with the arrival of all the students later on in the day. The girl named Lily would be the one who’d be showing you around. Apparently, she was on track to become Head Girl next year. You could only smile as McGonagall gushed over the girl. She sounded lovely but so completely different than you. A night and day difference. You were curious to see if McGonagall would have such nice things to say about you when you were to leave at the end of the school year.

You spent the night wandering the castles unafraid to get lost knowing you could just ask a picture on the wall for directions if need be. Your favorite room had to be where the enchanted staircases moved under their charm. Ilvermorny hadn’t anything like it, so you watched as they moved into and out of place constantly. You watched for so long you were started to get heckled by the pictures and paintings. To which you gave them the good old fashioned middle finger salute telling them to shut the hell up. You didn’t have it on your list to start arguing with a literal picture on the wall but here you were.

“Oh! Would you just put a can in it?” You rolled your eyes giving the man in the picture your most annoyed expression.

“I don’ know what that means.” He returned your stare with one equally as annoyed as your own, “Yankees.” He scoffed shaking his head as if he were disappointed.

“It means shut the hell up.” Glaring at him now you were in a defensive stance. You couldn’t believe you were letting an enchanted painting offend you so deeply. But you were too far into the argument to give up now. All the other eyes in the room were on the two of you going back and forth.

“Miss Y/L/N?” A male voice from behind you made your blood run cold. That was certainly the last thing you were expecting. Who in the hell was in the castle that knew your last name? Spinning around on your heal you observed an older wizard giving you a curious glance.

“That’s me.” You confirmed giving him a once over. Tall. Long white beard. Kind eyes. It had to have been Dumbledore. Your father was… obsessed with the man to say the least. He never shut up about the great wizard.

He nodded taking a step towards you, “Were you arguing with Sampson?” He peered behind you shaking his head at the man in the painting.

“Well, yes. I was. If that’s Sampson.” You didn’t elaborate any further pointing to the painting behind you.

He nodded cracking a small smile, “Might I ask why?”

You shrugged, “He was making fun of me for watching the stairs. They’re rad. We didn’t have anything like this at school.” You looked up admiring how they all effortlessly moved locking into place. Hogwarts was so much grander than Ilvermorny, something you didn’t really expect. Nobody ever seemed to talk about the nice the castle was when they came home.

The old wizard laughed, “Rad?” He questioned your vernacular.

You groaned realizing that these students probably didn’t talk like you were used to, “Please don’t tell me I have to learn a whole new language on top of having to meet an entirely new group of people tomorrow.” It stressed you out a little thinking about it. You were used to you American vernacular and slang, not whatever they said over here.

“On the contraire Y/N. You may just be ahead of times. I don’t know what the students are saying these days anyway.” He sounded like any other older person with that statement bringing out grin onto your face.

You questioned him for being so blasé about the whole thing, “How do you know my name?”

“That’s my job.” He smiled sweetly at you before continuing on the walk he happened to be on prior to stumbling on you arguing with the picture. You decided he wasn’t getting away that easy and followed being him quickly, “Which is?” You knew. But you wanted him to tell you. Just to confirm it.

He peaked behind him seeing you following him intently, “Headmaster…”

“Dumbledore.” You cut him off. You wouldn’t normally be so brash with somebody let alone the headmaster of the school, but you were already very comfortable around him for some reason. You knew he wasn’t going to be mad at you for doing so.

He nodded pausing to let you catch up, “Welcome to Hogwarts.”

“Thank you sir. I’m… excited to be here.” You stuttered a bit.

He smiled, “I may be old, but I can still spot a lie from a mile away. I believe you may grow to like this place. Now, I’m off. Get some rest.” He walked away without saying anything further. How odd. You’d heard that he was a bit different. You’d wish your dad would have detailed that a bit further for you.

You took his advice, attempting to find your way back to the common room was comical but you found it eventually. Not realizing how tired you were your eyes closed almost as soon as your head hit the pillow. A dreamless sleep took over not giving you the chance to prepare for the next day.

“Okay!” Lily smiled right at you, “The girls are here but they went straight to the dining hall. They promised to save us some seats.” She waited by the door for you. You paused looking at yourself in the mirror. It was now or never. You’d met a few other Gryffindor’s but tried to simply stay out of the way, “Come on, you look beautiful.” She nodded holding the dorm room door open for you.

“I’m coming. I’m coming.” You nodded slightly before following her quickly out the dorm and down to the common room. The two of you walked quickly, blowing right by a group of boys who seemed to be very close in age to you.

“Evans!” Lily groaned hearing a voice call from behind her. She had such a peaceful summer without James Potter. But he’d found her in record time this year. She paused. Before you could even register what was going on you smacked right into her back. It wasn’t really your fault you didn’t know it was her last name and the boy was calling for her. If you’d have known that you might’ve slowed down a bit.

“Sorry.” You groaned holding her steady by the shoulders, keeping her from falling over backwards.

“It’s okay.” She smiled at you before moving in front of you. Her smile downturned quickly as the group approached the two of you.

“And a gorgeous new girl.” The one with long dark hair stated looking right at you. Staring so deeply it almost made you uncomfortable. Like he was trying to peer into your entity. Trying to discover you through such a simple look.

“Sirius!” The tall one with light brown hair punched him in the shoulder, “Be quiet for once.”

Sirius shrugged, “Call it like I see it. Absolutely ravishing.” His gaze darkened a shade taking you in. Eyes raking up and down made you feel exposed in the black robes. Suddenly you missed your blue robes you’d gotten used to at Ilvermorny. The look was more intimidating than you would’ve liked. He was handsome that was for sure. But the looks were already too much for you to handle.

“Anyway,” James looked annoyed at Sirius before turning back to Lily not letting you get a response in before he turned the conversation back to where he wanted it, “How was your summer, Lily?”

“It was great. Without you.” Her seemingly sweet exterior was so viscerally annoyed by him your eyes went wide hearing that response. Sure, you’d only known her for a few hours but it didn’t seem like she had it in her.

James let the insult roll right off. He was used to it. He was growing tired of it by now. He’d been trying for years at this rate. The gig was running up on his accord, “And yours?” He turned his attention towards you. The new Gryffindor girl.

“Honestly, not so great.” You knew you weren’t the best liar. It was better to be honest. You’d learned that early in life after countless failures at trying to lie.

Sirius’ eyebrows raised as he listened, “An American?”

It was now or never, “You’re so observant. What gave it away?” With a surge of confidence, you answered his question with one of your own.

The one with unruly brown hair and the cutest round glasses started laughing, loudly, at that, “I like you.” He appreciated when people could throw it back in Sirius’ face. It wasn’t often someone could go toe to toe with him. You seemed up for the challenge though.

He scrunched his nose up a bit apparently a little offended by your own question, rolling his eyes in defeat at the same time.

“No, you don’t.” Lily shook her head grabbing your hand in preparation of pulling you away, “The girls are waiting. Let’s go Y/N.”

You nodded, “Nice to meet you four.” You tried waving to them, but she pulled you away almost the second you spoke.

“Likewise stranger.” The one that originally called for Lily yelled out to you. The cute one with the adorably messy hair and way to cute glasses.

“Who was that?” You asked after she slowed down outside the common room.

She shook her head urgently, “Bad news. Stay away from him. That entire group. Remus is the only decent one. But look at the company he keeps, so who knows.” She sighed leading you towards the dining hall. Each time you made it out of the common room you picked up a little bit more of the castle. It was still an enormous living maze, but you were slowly getting there.

“Alright.” You nodded along continuing to follow her along. You took the seat across from her ignoring all the stares you were receiving from all the different tables. You were the new girl. It was to be expected. It all still felt so foreign to you. The colors were much different to start. The castle was much grander. Everything was the same but so slightly different.

“You made it! And you brought a new friend.” She turned towards you, “I’m Marlene.”

“And I’m Mary.” The pretty girl sitting next to Lily introduced herself.

“Hi.” You nodded to each girl, “Nice to meet you both.” You wanted to implode in on yourself after seeing the curious glances each girl tossed Lily.

“Oh, you’ve got to tell us how you ended up here.” Marlene squeezed your arm immediately once hearing your accent, a detail Lily had left out when she told them there was a new sixth year transfer.

That’s how you became quick friends with a few of the girls you were sharing a room with, by divulging your life story. They were attentive listeners and even better at asking questions as they learned about you. You were only interrupted when the four boys from earlier found seats next to you and Lily. The one who was trying to grab her attention earlier, the brown haired one, sat next to Lily and Sirius sat down next to you.

“Lily! Y/N. So glad we ran into you.” James grinned attempting to scoot closer to Lily who was having none of it.

“What are we then James?” Marlene stared at the boy who you didn’t have a name for yet for excusing her and Mary in the hello’s.

He wanted to roll his eyes but stopped short. It was always best to stay on her good side though, “Marlene, Mary.” He nodded acknowledging there presence as well, “Have a nice summer holiday?” He asked Marlene who just rolled her eyes in response.

“We don’t want your pity questions James.” She turned back towards Mary. A small smile crossed your lips as you observed the interaction between what you assumed to be old friends. You looked back over to Lily who didn’t look so thrilled to be interrupted by the group, her arms crossed over her chest and a frown not so happily across her face.

“And I don’t really want you here Potter.” She spat out his last name. You made a note to ask her about this later. She really seemed to dislike him.

“Ouch.” Sirius tried defending his friend by deflecting the conversation back to him.

“Oh, you always have something to say!” Lily was visibly frustrated now. You weren’t quite sure what to do either. The two groups clearly having some sort of history that you weren’t privy too, yet. You couldn’t wait to grill them tonight like they just grilled you about your own life.

“Let’s just go.” The shier one from earlier stood, “James you have all year to annoy Lily. Sirius you have the same to flirt with Y/N.”

Sirius grinned standing next to his friend, “It won’t even take a month. Give me more credit than that.” He countered making sure to wink right at you. You were more shocked than disgusted. American boys were straight forward but nothing quite like this. This was right in your face kind of flirting.

Your eyebrows were surely raised in visible surprise by now. He might’ve been the hottest guy you’ve ever laid your eyes on, but his personality was something left to be desired. You decided to take on the confident American route. It was either that or get eaten alive by him, “You’d be so lucky.” Rolling your eyes, you turned your attention back to Lily and the group. That wasn’t before you caught the sly grin spreading across James’ face.

“I’m telling you both!” Marlene laughed as you, her, and Lily walked to potions together. Luckily you and Lily had nearly identical schedules. You were sure McGonagall had something to do with it, but she just brushed it off. You were utterly thankful for the so-called coincidence though. You didn’t think you’d be able to make it around without her. The castle being over a thousand years older than Ilvermorny truly made Howards feel like a gigantic maze you were never going to figure out.

“Alright,” Lily laughed feeling the warmth radiate from Marlene. For as snappy as Marlene was she was truly one of the kindest people you’d met, “say Remus really does like Dorcas… what do we do?”

You shook your head, “Nothing. Nothing good happens when you meddle in between two people!” You warned the both of them. Marlene had heard a rumor that Dorcas was interested in Remus and Remus was very interested in her. She wanted to do something about it, of course. Finding the two of them too shy to make any moves. But you knew better, that would never end well.

“That’s no fun Y/N.” Marlene visibly pouted trying to make you feel a little bad. It wasn’t going to work on you though. You were the queen of doing shit like this.

You laughed to your new friends, “Go for it then. Gives me something to watch.” Eyebrows raised as if to challenge them you only laughed harder seeing Marlene’s shocked expression.

Both girls joined in your laughter as the group made its way down to the potions classroom. Potions wasn’t your least favorite class but it’s not like you enjoyed it. It never really came that naturally to you like it did so many other students. Your favorite class, almost like anybody at Ilvermorny would say, was charms. Unfortunately, you couldn’t take that all day, or you would.

The three of you continued chatting until something wet, sticky, and far too gooey dropped onto all three of your heads. Marlene gasped as she started trying anything to get the disgusting smelling goo off of her. Lily started yelling that James and his stupid boy group was behind it. You were a little too stunned to speak. You weren’t the biggest fan of surprises, and this so-called prank came out of nowhere completely taking you off guard. You’d never felt so… exposed?

You heard the snickers of Sirius and the one you’d learned was named Peter up ahead. James wasn’t to be seen and Remus looked almost apologetic. Like he couldn’t stop them but needed to supervise his friends. You had a feeling the two of you would be fast friends.

Taking out your wand you knew the charm that would do the trick. Whispering out a soft, ‘skurge’ holding your wand out to Marlene who was more in a fit of rage than in any state of trying to figure out who had done it. She shot you a thanks when she realized you were the one who used a charm to clean her up. Once she was cleaned up you cast the same spell at Lily who gave you a thumbs up before taking off to go yell at the boys who had the audacity to do that to them.

You probably should’ve cleaned yourself up before taking a step, but you weren’t really thinking all that clearly. Unlucky for you the goo had seeped down your robe and onto the stone all around you. Being as clumsy as you were you stepped right into the slippery stuff. Your legs slipped out behind you. Before anybody could even react your head contacted the stone stairway behind you knocking you nearly unconscious. Your eyes opened quickly. Placing a hand behind your head you hazily remembered what just occurred.

“Oh, shit.” Sirius knew he was in trouble when you didn’t immediately stand up.

Lily’s face went a little pale. Marlene stepped back. Remus was the only one who seemed to come to his senses enough to react. Quickly, he walked over to you whispering another charm to close up the back of your head. He might not be able to fix the internal damage, but he’d be damned if he let your head continue to bleed.

“What happened?” James asked looking at the scene before him in confusion. He decided on taking the morning to train for quidditch on the pitch with his captain. He was a good chaser. But he wanted to be remembered for being great. He knew he needed to put in the time so that’s he worked it in. Before class. Between it and after it. He was still working on the whole timing thing though. He didn’t mean to be late, he just forgot to set the timer.

Sirius took a step forward before shyly looking away from him, “She slipped. It was an accident.” He didn’t want to elaborate. The angry look already evident on his friends face. Remus helped you to your feet making sure you could actually stand before taking a step back.

“Slipped on what Sirius?” James looked mad. Like he wanted to punch Sirius right in the face. Both Lily and Marlene watched the interaction curiously. He’d only shown that level of protection over Lily before. Had all her years of pushing him away actually worked? Was Lily actually free of James Potter’s advances? Was it at a cost to you? Sirius looked away like a puppy being scolded for doing something it knows not to.

“That goo we made the other night.” It wasn’t often that James yelled at Sirius for a prank. More often than not he was egging him right along. Remus was the one who stopped a majority of their pranks. He let the more innocent ones go. He thought this one was going to be innocent enough.

James was more than angry. They talked about it literally last night. Lily was off limits. You were off limits until they either got to know you better or you pranked them first. James didn’t want to admit how intrigued you made him in just the two short interactions you’d had. That same possessive nature came out when he saw you on the ground holding the back of your head with blood running down in.

James rolled his eyes at his best friend. He’d have it in for him tonight. But for now, he was more concerned with the delirious gaze your eyes seemed to have held. It’s like you were there but you weren’t. James knew that expression. He’d seen countless teammates and himself in that state after a bludger or bat knocked them off their brooms. You’d be fine but it should never have happened. That’s why he was upset.

“Remus, tell Professor Slughorn what happened. I’ll take her to the hospital wing. They should know what to do.” He took one of your hands in his. You weren’t feeling too great at this point. It looked like there were at least three versions of himself in your vision. It was hard to even focus on James’ face in front of you.

Remus’ eyes shot up in surprise. James wasn’t usually the first one that sprung to action. Certainly not for somebody he’d just met to boot, “Alright.” He watched him curiously for a moment before turning to the rest of the group who were all watching just as questioningly. James wasn’t like this. He was the pompous asshole usually standing tall next to Sirius.

James turned his attention back to you and the gash on the back of your head. He nodded in approvement of Remus’s ability to heal. It was usually him or Sirius doing the healing, not Remus. This too was a change.

“Can you walk love?” He asked squeezing your hand gently after turning away from his friends. Remus made sure to usher them into the classroom no matter how bad they all wanted to watch the strange scene before them. It was so seemingly out of character for James.

Turning your head towards him you winced feeling the extent of how hard your head really hit that step, “Hmm?” You heard him but you didn’t really hear what he had said.

When he asked again you tried to form words in your head but was seeming to come up just short. Only seemingly to be able to nod or mumble out responses. You might’ve hit your head harder than you thought. How wild was it to be able to comprehend but not able to communicate back.

“Okay.” He frowned trying to pull you but not being able to get far before your legs wanted to give out. He sighed turning back towards you, “I’m going to have to pick you up now. Is that alright?”

Nodding your head was all he was going to get out of you at this point. You were starting to fade faster than even you thought. You heard a faint, “I’m so sorry, I told him not to.” Before you brain decided it needed you knocked out.

“Ahh, Miss Y/L/N. You’re awake.” You heard the healer speak before your eyes were even open. It always amazed you that they seemed to know your status before even you did. Sucking in a sharp breath you felt the back of your head with a dull throb, “Drink this.” She handed you a cup of dark nasty smelling liquid.

You tossed it back trying not to gag on the medicine. You never questioned what they gave you because it was always beneficial. But it always tasted like shit. No matter what it was it tasted like your least favorite food multiplied by a hundred.

“Yeah, guess I am.” You opened your eyes again slower this time, glancing at your surroundings. You’d expected to see many places in your first week here, but the hospital wing was certainly not one.

“Knocked your head there pretty good, yeah?” The woman smiled standing next to you, “You’ll feel a little fuzzy for the next few hours before the potion kicks in. Mr. Potter here offered to watch over you for the afternoon.” She smirked at you blocking his view. Like she knew something you didn’t.

“Sure.” You nodded your head gently. You were surely going to have to find a good, albeit less painful, stunt to pull back on Sirius. Because this whole thing was too embarrassing when you thought about it. You were already the school gossip that was slowly dying down now it was all going to be reignited after this whole thing.

“Very well.” Her thick Irish accent made it almost impossible for you to understand, “You’re free to go.”

“Thank you.” Pushing yourself up you took a moment to get your bearings straight.

James stood out of his chair quickly walking over to your side, “Easy now love.”

You laughed more to yourself than him, “I thought that was just a rumor.” You mumbled. He gave you a confused expression as if ready to call the healer back over, “The love thing.”

He offered his hand for you to take. Without even thinking you took his offer using him to balance as you stood on your feet. You felt the potion kicking in as the fuzziness began to fade slowly. You always thanked your lucky stars that you were born as a wizard and not a no-maj. You’d have probably killed yourself from how clumsy you were.

James smiled, understanding your comment, “Does it make you uncomfortable?” He asked. You thought for a moment before breaking out into a smile of your own. Had a guy ever been so thoughtful before? He asked for permission before touching you, asked if his words were too much. You needed to be careful before you got yourself into too much trouble. Your thoughts wandering too far. There was deep history there with one of your newest friends. You didn’t want to mess anything up with that either.

You shook your head, regretting it almost instantly, “Not at all. I think it’s cute.” Your filter was clearly gone with the potion working its magic.

“Cute?” James smiled taking your hand in his.

“Cute.” You reaffirmed hoping he’d let it go and not tease you too incessantly about it.

James made a mental note of it before changing the conversation. He’d agreed to make sure you were in good hands. He’d happily skip class at the doctor’s orders. At least he had a very valid excuse, “Come on, let’s get you back to the common room.”

You agreed with a hum, “Sounds like a plan, Stan.” You grinned goofily following in his footsteps quickly. He wouldn’t let you fall too far behind with his hands still in yours.

James shook his head while half-way puling you along, “I knew that rumor was true.”

“Which one?”

He paused, smiling to himself, “That Americans are really strange.”

A shocked but goofy expression came to you, “I’m hereby offended for all Americans with a comment like that James Potter.”

He shrugged continuing the small trek back to the Gryffindor common room, “Have you tried not being strange, love?” James was having a little too much fun now. Knowing he was crossing the line between friendly and concerned to one of a much flirtier nature. Conversations with Lily were always negative and ended up being too exhausting. All the while he found himself drawn to you just by short conversation he’s shared with you. He quickly came to admire the quick-witted nature about you. How sure you carried yourself for being thrown in the situation you had been in.

As nervous as you were to spend the whole afternoon with James there was nothing to worry about. The conversation came so easily between the two of you. It was almost as if two old friends were reconnecting after not seeing the other for a while. The two of you having more in common than you would’ve thought. Both of you not having any siblings but coming from a very rigid but loving home. Both of you having to move around for your dad’s jobs. Your father being in the government while his you learned created a hair product that was becoming rather successful uprooting their family from normalcy.

He even went on to explain his and Lily’s relationship, or lack thereof one. He admitted all the faults he’d made throughout the years and how he actually started trying to mend the relationship last year, but she wasn’t buying it.

“I think you should keep trying.” You encouraged him, “At least to just be friends. I know I don’t know her like the other girls do but she’s really a great person. I’m sure she’s got a soft spot for you somewhere.” You nudged him. The two of you had started on opposite ends of the couch but had slowly migrated closer together. Neither of you caring about the curious looks you were getting from each and every Gryffindor student grades one through seven that passed by.

He nodded letting out a sigh, “I’ll keep trying. She doesn’t make it very easy.” He laughed with a sad look in his eye, “Enough about her. How are you feeling?” He’d noticed how your eyes had gotten progressively more tired throughout the afternoon. The potion must’ve been wearing off. No matter what it seemed to be it always left the recipient tired after a certain amount of time.

James looked at the clock closing in on five. He knew the guys would be meeting in the cafeteria. He’d all but abandoned them today. But they had to have known. As gross as it was to admit he was almost thankful everything went down. He’d gotten to spend time with the new girl who’d immediately grabbed his attention. It scared him how quickly you swooped in and stole his focus away from Lily.

Lily noticed immediately. Instead of pestering her throughout class he started going for you. She bit her tongue when she saw him toss you a note charming it to unfold when Professor McGonagall looked away. Lily would’ve immediately crumpled it up and tossed it back to him. You smiled from ear to ear seeing the sweet little note sent your way. Scribbling back a reply quickly to him you tossed it as soon as McGonagall turned away again. She didn’t know how to feel about the change. She wasn’t sad or jealous. She really didn’t want him. She missed the attention a little. You were now getting it all. She couldn’t blame him though. He’d been trying for years. He finally got the hint.

You definitely welcomed the attention. It felt good. Refreshing. Sirius backed off immediately getting the not-so-subtle hints from James. James had decided he was going to get to know you. He was going to do it the right way. Get to know you, become a friend and then hopefully more. He’d never expected this. He had every intention of pursuing Lily when he got back to school but then you showed up. He found you absolutely fascinating and just downright adorable.

“I’m good. Just a little tired.” You admitted after not being able to stop the yawn from coming.

He nodded, “Why don’t you go take a nap? I’ll tell one of the girls to bring you back some dinner. I’d help you upstairs, but those stairs are charmed.” He smiled knowing he’s tried damn near everything to break the charm. Turns out old wizards are better at magic than he was.

It started slow. With those notes that Lily noticed. Then it progressed to cute little lunch dates away from the group. James made sure that you attended his quidditch matches throughout the beginning of the school year. He knew if you were there he’d play better. He wanted to impress you. And impress you he did. He was everywhere out on the pitch. Playing out of his damn mind every time the ball came his way. After a few quick weeks of small gestures, he’d finally got the courage to ask you out on a real date, a dinner date away from the dining hall and prying eyes. He’d promised a candlelight picnic up in the astronomy tour since the sun set so early in the night.

He'd delivered on his promise, big time. You’d gasped lightly when you saw what looked like thousands of white candles all over the top of the tower with a small picnic set up in the middle. Roses, your favorite flower, as décor and all.

“James, wow.” You took it all in walking around the footpath he had made. You were sure he’d found a spell or something, but it was always the thought that counted. He’d actually listened to you. For the first time in forever a guy listened to what you liked and what you wanted and then executed on those wishes. How were you not going to absolutely give this guy a shot? You’d felt a little bad taking him away from Lily, but she gave you her full blessing. She started dating a handsome seventh year not long after James’s interest in her had almost completely vanished as it shifted towards you.

He rubbed the back of his neck nervously as he watched you take it all it, “Hopefully you like it.” He looked at you with a hopeful expression.

You stopped before abruptly walking towards him giggling to yourself, “Do I like it? James Potter this is incredible. I love it. It’s everything and more.”

He sighed in relief suddenly feeling so much more confident, “Oh, that’s a relief. I’ve never done anything like this.”

Your smile was one that could really light up a room. Especially since you were already so smitten with the unruly haired man, “I would’ve never have known. It’s beautiful. Thank you James.” You hugged him quickly. Giving his lips a brief flash before you squeezed his torso into your own. It’s crazy how much you’d grown to care for the boy over the last three or so weeks of knowing him.

You grew to care for his insane friends too. Sirius ended up apologizing. While things started rocky the two of you quickly became scheming buddies. Remus tried his best to stop the two of you but often came up short. He was able to stop one mischievous mind but three altogether? There wasn’t a chance. Lucky for them you were clever and often thought your way out of the problems that always inevitably rose. You’d help them avoid detention for the last two weeks which was almost unheard of for them.

When you weren’t with Sirius you were studying with Remus. You had a lot of different small things to catch up on. Thankfully Remus offered to help knowing how difficult it all probably was. Especially since he knew James was after you now. Making it official to the guys the previous night before bed. Oh, how quickly the heart can change when it needs to.

He decided to throw caution to the wind as he wrapped his arms fully around you, thoroughly enjoying the height different between you. He kissed the top of your head before resting on it gently, still holding you close, “Anything for you.”

You hummed holding him peacefully. Luckily for you the usually gray Scottish sky decided to clear up for you this fine autumn evening. After a moment you pulled away, “I’m starving.” You admitted before you heard a rumble in your stomach you were sure James heard.

The laughter that left his lips confirmed your fear, oh well, “Let’s eat. I had a few of the house elves from the kitchens pack this up, so it should be good.” He let you walk ahead. He followed close behind you though. Making sure to keep his hand around your waist in the process.

“Really?” You asked curiously sitting down next to the basket in the spot he had made, “How’d you pull that off?”

He shrugged, “I know a lot of secrets about this castle. I can teach you sometime.” His goofy grin pulled yours right out alongside his. He was so handsome as the candlelight lit up his features with the moon behind him.

You nodded while memorizing his features in this rare light, “I’d love that James. I really would.” You wanted to give him all of the confidence he usually had. Of course, you found it adorable he had gotten so nervous. But you truly were starting to fall in love with the chatty James. The unashamed to be himself James.

You were nervous too though. You’d never had a boy care enough to go to such lengths. It made you horrifically nervous that you’d mess it all up, say the wrong thing at the wrong time. You knew better than to stress about it. It was too easy to spiral when those thoughts would never even cross James’ mind. You needed to relax. He had feelings for a reason. He was interested in you.

“It’s a date then.” He said so casually you weren’t sure if you heard him right. But the smile on his face confirmed what you thought was true. This one had hardly started and the two of you were already setting up the next one.

It took the pressure right on off when you nodded confirming, “It’s a date.”

“How’s Saturday afternoon sound? We have practice in the morning but it’s our first Hogsmeade weekend if you wanted to come with me.” He looked nervous asking but he didn’t need to worry, not one bit.

You nodded excitedly while taking a piece of cheese off the plate, “I’d love to! Seriously, that sounds like so much fun.” You’d heard the girls talking about Hogsmeade and how fun it was to go and get away from the castle. You were planning on going with Marlene and Dorcas since Lily was going with her new fling. You weren’t too worried about telling them that you’d had a slight change of plans, they’d been pushing it surprisingly. Even after Lily rejected him for years, the group seemed much more open to the idea of you and James together.

His soft smile at your response sent your heart into a frenzy. The physical reactions you were having because of him was unlike anything you’d ever experienced. Sure, you’ve been on dates and had a supposed ‘boyfriend’ but this… this was something entirely different. You didn’t feel anything that deep. Nothing like this. The effortless nature of the relationship. The desire to be always around him. The want to see his face, hear his laugh and touch his skin was growing stronger by the day at an alarming rate.

“How do you like flying?” James asked as the two of you continued to eat in a comfortable silence.

“I’ll be honest. I’m tragic at it. Never got the hang of it.” It was easier to just admit the truth than trying to hide behind a lie.

James leaned forward, eyes gazing over every point on your face. He too was admiring your beauty as the moonlight cast a soft shadow over your face. He got butterflies as he began to see a future with you. He wanted to make plans. He wanted to show you how to do things you didn’t know how to. Hell, he even wanted you to meet his parents. He was ready to dive first into this entire thing without fear. James had so much love to give and nobody to give it to. He wanted to give it to you.

“I can show you.” He spoke after the brief gaze he had given you.

Your eyes were all but sparkling by now. It amazed you that Lily was so anti-James. But you’d gotten her story and understood. Third- and Fourth-year James was a total menace to any desired peace at Hogwarts. Even James agreed to the accusations. Admitting he probably wasn’t the best person during those years.

Fortunately for you, you’d only gotten to see him at his best. He was still his goofy, fun-loving self just toned down a bit. Or a lot.

“You would?” Leaning back onto the palms of your hands you sat there an observed him. It was hard for you to believe that you’d managed to get such a handsome and fun guy to fall for you like you were him. You never found yourself to be the most desirable at Ilvermorny. All the guys seemed to go for your friends leaving you to fend for yourself. It never bothered you, just left you wanting to feel desired.

He nodded taking your hand in his, “Absolutely I would!” He grinned scooting closer to you, “Let’s do it.”

He moved as if to stand confusing you, “Now?”

He shrugged still making sure to hold your hand while he got up, “Why not?”

You looked around, “It’s dark?”

“So?” His smile was so big you began to feel the excitement that was radiating off him. Your smile slowly matched his as you thought about it some more.

“What if I fall?”

He shook his head pulling you to your feet now, “I’d never let that happen, love.” He could sense your unease as you surveyed the lands in the moonlight from the tower, “I’ll tell you what. Why don’t you ride with me tonight? Next time I’ll get you your own broom.”

Nodding quickly, you didn’t want to lose your courage. You trusted him. Probably more than you should. You had only known him for the better amount of three weeks. But there was something so pure and honest that you knew he was telling you the utmost truth, he’d never let you fall, “Okay. Let’s do it.”

“Yeah?” He asked once more making sure you were actually okay with the spontaneous plan.

“Come on, let’s go before I can think of all the reasons not too.” You squeezed his hand this time to reassure him.

“I knew I liked you.” Placing a quick kiss on your cheek, to your surprise, he happily escorted you out of the castle and to the pitch where the two of you spent the next few hours flying around occasionally checking to make sure nobody was onto you. You had a certain feeling that this was going to be the start of a brand-new life for you. One filled with the utmost love and the most insane adventures. You were going to have to thank you mom for not letting you talk her out of moving you half a world away. But man, were you thankful.

Taglist: @twilightlover2007 @kayreblog

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vidavalor · 3 months

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A theory about Aziraphale, Crowley, Mrs. Cheng, and high sensitivity

What's up with Aziraphale sensing love in Tadfield and thinking Maggie might be able to hear Heavenly trumpets and with Mrs. Cheng pausing weirdly at the bookshop door before entering The Ball?

What if bad spelling isn't demonic and sensing love isn't angelic? What if Aziraphale (an angel), Crowley (a demon), and Mrs. Cheng (a human) all actually just have the same ability? What if they are all HSPs-- highly sensitive people?

Aziraphale's ability to sense love is something that has spanned both seasons now and I know some people think this is an angelic thing but there's evidence, imo, that it's not. The show has been putting forth a message that angels, demons, and humans are really not that dissimilar. They have different life spans and abilities but they're all under the same kind of umbrella and none are superior or inferior to the other. They suggest this with the symbolism of labeling all of them all as insects (humans are ants, angels are bees, demons are hornets, flies are Beez's department) and as different kinds of waterfowl. Pat's example magic trick of The Professor's Nightmare-- the rope trick-- during The Blitz, Part 2 is also this as well. You have three different ropes that seem like they're different lengths: the big one (angels), the medium one (demons), and the small one (humans) but if you put them all together under the same light and you pull (like the force of gravity, that Gabriel and Crowley talk about in S2), you see them as all the same length.

The idea then is that angels and demons are just like humans, in terms of their needs and wants, and some don't recognize it because their supernatural abilities inhibit their ability to consider why they might also have human corporations in the first place. All of the angels and demons really need to eat and sleep and to not feel alone. Some of them, like some humans, might be interested in romantic love and/or sex, and some of them, like some humans, might not be. Things the show has coded as "demonic" at times-- like being terrible with language-- they also quietly illustrate as not being fully true. It can't be that all demons are terrible spellers who aren't great with words because Crowley is a demon and a literal poet while Gabriel was the Supreme Archangel of Heaven-- and he once suggested that keeping the status quo would keep things "static and, uh, quo-y." Who is better with words: Lord Beezlebub or Sandalphon? Beez, by a long mile, right? But Michael is also better with language than Hastur. The point is that it doesn't matter if you're an angel or a demon or a human-- some people are good with language and some are better with other things.

So, just some of the demons are bad spellers-- which doesn't actually mean anything. There are plenty of terrible spellers who are very intelligent and who are just better at different things-- which is something that is true of humans as well, right? What if we apply those same ideas to the sensitivity thing?

For one thing, if all angels-- or, even, just a lot of angels-- had a high sensitivity to love like Aziraphale does, the end group scene in S2 should have gone differently. The only angels experiencing or sensing love in the bookshop during the Ineffable Bureaucracy scene are Gabriel (who is the one feeling it) and Aziraphale. Being in the presence of love did nothing for Michael, Uriel, Saraqael or even our sweetheart Muriel (who, to be fair, wisely had their nose in a book in the back of the room the whole time but still probably should have been able to sense something if that's actually an angelic power.) The only angel actually overwhelmed by the love in the room is Aziraphale... which is, mathematically, kind of interesting. Aziraphale is one-sixth of the angels in the bookshop in that moment, which equates out to the roughly 17% percent of the human population estimated to be HSPs, or highly sensitive people, some of whom are also empaths.

If you go back to S1, when Aziraphale and Crowley enter Tadfield and Aziraphale starts experiencing love, he says to Crowley: "I'm astonished that you can't feel it." This comment alone might be suggested to say that the high sensitivity that Aziraphale has is something that isn't an angelic ability. By saying he's surprised that Crowley can't feel it, Aziraphale is saying that he knows that Crowley is sensitive in the same way that Aziraphale is. Crowley, too, is then what humans would probably call a HSP. Crowley balks at the suggestion in S1 but we can see in S2 that it's true when Crowley has his version of being overwhelmed sensing emotion and, in his case in that moment, it was waves of distress. Who else experiences it at the same time as Crowley does? A human. Mrs. Cheng.

Mrs. Cheng is the only other character who gets the heebie jeebies during the arrivals at The Ball. Both she and Crowley actually experience it before the demons come up Whickber Street, around the same time. Crowley attributes it to the demons and his own anxiety over Hell circling closer to the shop while Mrs. Cheng gets pulled into Aziraphale's magic and forgets what she felt at the door. Why did Mrs. Cheng feel something when others who came to the door did not? Because she's a highly-sensitive person.

Aziraphale is an angel, Crowley is a demon and Mrs. Cheng is a human. They are all highly-sensitive people. They all have the same high level of sensitivity.

Maggie shown to be a bad speller? Maybe she's just a human who can't spell, like many humans and demons (and angels) are. Why does Aziraphale think she could hear the Heavenly trumpets sounding the arrival of angels? It could just be because Maggie runs a music shop. Maggie is a musically-sensitive human. Aziraphale thought that might make it possible that, if anyone could hear the trumpets, it might be Maggie. He's not really sure how this all works. Aziraphale thinks that if he can feel love between humans then maybe humans that know music well might be able to hear Heavenly trumpets.

Back in S1, we see in a couple of scenes that Adam has what Crowley calls "an automatic defense thing-y" that keeps him from being found-- and seen, to an extent. A shield of sorts keeps Anathema from reading Adam's aura, showing that such a thing is in place and intact. Because Adam is the antichrist, his power overrides the other demons shy of Satan, so the presumption could be made that those of us who think that the reason why it's when they cross into Tadfield that Aziraphale begins to feel overwhelmed by love is because Adam's shield overrode Crowley's own "automatic defense thing-y" are correct because, let's be real, Crowley with his sunglasses and his Bentley has never met a defense thing-y he's never given a whirl. It fails when they cross the Tadfield line and Aziraphale is then feeling Crowley's love for him.

This is also why Aziraphale is overwhelmed by it again at Tadfield Manor. At the moment that he has to stop walking, Crowley is looking up at the place and, inevitably, remembering dropping the antichrist baby off there eleven years earlier and how he was supposed to be with Aziraphale that night instead. He's thinking about his own love for Aziraphale and Aziraphale senses it and has to stop walking for a moment, overwhelmed. Adam does love Tadfield but Aziraphale is not sensing his love for his hometown. Adam wouldn't remember being born in a religious hospital that has now become a corporate bonding retreat and wouldn't feel an overwhelming love for the place that he's probably never actually been inside since he left it as a baby. Aziraphale is sensing Crowley, who has probably had an automatic defense thing-y up for most of the time for millennia because, otherwise, Aziraphale would be in a constant state of near-faint.

Maggie may or may not be more than we think she is. She might wind up yet being some kind of supernatural being but she also might just be a human who is a bad speller and can't hear Heavenly trumpets. Mrs. Cheng may or may not be a mysterious figure with more going on than we think but she also might just be a highly-sensitive human who helps to illustrate a commonality between angels, demons and humans by having the same ability to deeply sense emotion that Crowley and Aziraphale do.

#ineffable husbands #good omens #crowley #aziraphale #good omens 2 #good omens meta #aziracrow #good omens s2 #good omens theory #mrs cheng #maggie good omens

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kbmrjmd · 11 months

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skizzisms list bc i felt like making a list (still adding on regularly so make sure to check og post if youre using this as a reference or something)

boat -> butt

okay? -> mmguh

flak -> static

DNR -> dinner roll

super dupe pooper scoop

get out of here you piece of JUNK!!!!!

[movie/song/tv show reference] whats that from 😏☺️

singing randomly

ooohuhuhu….ooo…

wuoh

nooch!

nooch. snoogins.

hup + bop (note that bop is mostly an impulseism but skizz has picked it up too)

you can bop if you so choose

saying single words/short sentences in a very abrupt way sometimes

jerk!

nicknames! eg: dipple dop, (tango) top, etc

mister doctor professor [name]

yeah babyy!

(high pitched voice effect) kevin bubbles malone refrigerator jimmy madeye dugan mug

messing with his poker chips while he talks

you’re amazing!

hungy dungy wungy chunky monkey

not an -ism but definitely a skizz thing: skompass (skizzleman compass) aka single blocks with torches on them that act like a breadcrumb trail

do/say x with my/your face

alriiight!

come on cletus

that’s what i’m talking about or that’s what i’m talking aboot

that’s for true

ah poopy :(

stop messing around (after messing around himself)

not really as common i think but sometimes he’ll put something in basic terms, and then say some variation of “but let me explain”/“what I mean by that is”/etc. (e.g. “Tango…you are such a perfectionist, but let me expand on this:…” in this stream)

there’s your thumbnail!

do you Need to take a Poopy. (phasmo)

(to the tune of “when the moon hits your eye…”) THAT’s moroiii (phasmo)

prreow. brrow (meowing. kind of.)

CRIT!!!!!!

makinabaaaabyyy

hi. how you doin'.

calling wardens "warden g"

you're amazing!

what's up!!

Ghoulie ghosty come out to play

(mimicking grian using the spirit box) are you heeyah

___ for a tick

you're not watching

im gonna leave that/leave it! (when he holds back on the opportunity to make a dirty joke)

___ is top shelf

combining two sentences into one longer sentence by just removing the pause for a period and continuing in the same cadence

Additions from notes:

random sounds while thinking (ex: lethr lethr lethr lethr)

What’s that gonna do?

great question newman!

in addition to “what’s that from”, Name it!

homie buddeh

“The Skizz”

HUYEAYUH/making faces along with that and other stream sfx

thats the first time in human history anyone has said that

in addition to you can bop if you so choose, singing the actual you can bop if you want to safety dance parody

mmmbye

(fns) you’re legit/are you legit?

(fns) come on knock on our doooor we’ll be waitin’ for youuu (in vc to bug the imposter) (part of the random singing point)

(fns) ope! crewmate again!

(fns) make-sure-to-eat-fruit (doing simon says)

DANGIIIIIT

what im gonnna dooo….

num-a-nums

well i Did/Am.

show me [item] salad!

the face he makes where his eyes go really wide and he tucks his chin in and stares

calling people he finds cool "cats"

referring to his face as his handsome mug

lmk if i missed anything and i can add it Smile emoji

#skizzleman #i love paying attention to certain quirks and mannerisms that people have #skizzisms #skizzisms list #<- for finding easier

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aziraphales-library · 5 months

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Hello!! I was just wondering if you knew of any fics similar to In Love We Rise by AJ_Constantine, like in the sense that they're slowly exploring and figuring each other out, like eventually progressing up to kissing and then, y'know, but in a fluffy kind of way? Im not sure if that makes any sense tho but thank you anyway! (P.s. i love this blog so much, you people are actually amazing at this! I hope you all have a lovely day/night :])

Hi! You might be interested in our #developing relationship tag for fics along these lines. Here are some more for you...

Love and Lust in Mesopotamia by The_Bentley (E)

Living among humans means sampling their activities, including the sexual ones. There's only one problem. Crawly isn't interested in women, but he is in Aziraphale, who is attracted to him in return. If Crawly agrees, Aziraphale would like to show him that physical affection can exist between two beings who are presenting as the same gender.

It's Getting Hard, This Holding Back by ZehWulf (T)

6,000-odd years is a long time to evolve a romantic relationship, but as a near-immortal being, Crowley had patience. True, they had lost momentum right around reaching the Speaking Looks and Meaningful Gestures stage, but at the time Crowley had been more or less content to let things idle. Now, he was determined to shift things back into gear, and that gear was Explicitly Romantic Physical Expressions of Affection.

Resonance by Macx (T)

They had been friends for six millennia. They had been on their side. There had only been their side. Of course, they had never known it until it was all supposed to end. They had stood against their respective sides, had been hurt, had suffered, had felt desperation, fear and terror. Now it was suddenly over and both Crowley and Aziraphale have to deal with the consequences. Not just those of Up Yours and Down There. They have come a long way at a very slow pace. They have come so much further in just within day. And they were still going incredibly fast, changing, evolving, becoming something that might be part of the Ineffable Plan...

The professor, the old crush, the new love by AccroV (E)

Aziraphale Fell is an english literature professor who freaks out when he discovers that his new colleague is his ex best-friend and crush from high school : the one and only Anthony Crowley. They didn't talk for years after one night in high school. What can happen now ? An AU with : high school memories, awkward flirting and lot of good feelings

Chemistry by Twilightcitysky (E)

Aziraphale and Crowley have been living among humans for 6000 years, but there have always been parts of the human experience they've chosen to avoid (like allergies, head colds, and having to use the loo). They've also never let hormones get in the way of making rational decisions, because they didn't have any hormones to speak of. That's all about to change.

Introduction to Touch by sheendav (E)

Aziraphale and Crowley survive the Not-Pocalypse and profess their love for one another, but Aziraphale has tremendous anxiety about pursuing a physical relationship with Crowley. He genuinely wishes to move forward, but past fears surrounding touch, intimacy and body image are prohibiting him from acting on what his heart (and corporation) really want. Crowley is ready to go as slowly and carefully as needed to be there for his Angel as they pursue their new "Arrangement" step by careful, sweet step.

And the one you mentioned...

In Love We Rise by AJ_Constantine (E)

Ever since the thwarted apocalypse, Aziraphale and Crowley have gradually expanded the boundaries of their relationship. Aziraphale has delighted in slow progression of lingering touches, tender embraces and chaste kisses. He enjoys the demon's company more than ever, but one evening he finds himself in an odd sort of mood, nettlesome and heartsore, and declines Crowley's offer to take him out to dinner. He figures that once he has a good sulk in the privacy of his bookshop, he'll get over it. Crowley decides that won't do, and drags the recalcitrant angel out on a mysterious mission, which ends up taking them on a path that neither of them expects it to.

- Mod D

#good omens #ineffable husbands #adult omens #developing relationship #fluff #mod d

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thekillingvote · 8 months

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No Birds Allowed: Batman without Robin

The usual claim is that Jason Todd was singularly hated by audiences. Dick Grayson, Carrie Kelley, and Tim Drake are proper, beloved Robins—and Jason Todd is the one and only outlier so unlikable that audiences killed him off by popular vote.

But this claim ignores a massive piece of the puzzle—the Robin role has long been treated as an outdated remnant of a childish era, not only by a significant share of Batman fans, but also by Batman creative teams. While there were definitely fans who hated Jason Todd, he was at least partly chosen to be killed as a scapegoat for some long-standing complaints about the Robin role in Batman stories.

The 1988 poll to kill Jason Todd wasn't just a poll to kill Jason Todd—the poll to kill Robin was a poll to kill Robin.

Fan letters columns from Batman #221 and Detective Comics #398, reacting to Dick leaving for Hudson University in Batman #217 (1969):

Denny O'Neil Batman/Detective Comics writer (1970-1980) Batman group editor (1986-2000) on sending Robin away to Hudson University:

Dan Greenfield: Actually, last night I went back through my comics and the one thing that always strikes me is that before you came onto the character, they’d already made the decision to have Robin leave. Robin was up at Hudson University and was used sparingly from that point forward. Denny O’Neil: Well, that was a conscious decision of mine. Greenfield: Oh! O’Neil: Yeah, I mean … I had been offered Batman a year before I did it. Greenfield: No kidding? I wanna hear this. O’Neil: Because that was in the (Batman TV show) camp thing. The comics were very half-heartedly following in the footsteps of the camp because it was having a palpable effect on circulation. That’s not always true but it was in that case. Camp as in the sense — as opposed to the more erudite sense — this one-line joke about: “I loved this stuff when I was 6 and now that I’m 28 and I have a bi-weekly appointment with a therapist and a little, mild drug habit and two divorces, ‘Look how silly it is.'” I would go into the most literary bar in Greenwich Village on (Wednesday) or Thursday evenings and there would be writers and poets and college professors, all looking at Batman! But when that was over, it was over. It was like somebody turned a switch. And that’s when (editor) Julie (Schwartz) said, in his avuncular way, did I have any ideas for Batman? And at that point, I wasn’t going to be asked to do camp. I was going to be asked to do anything within the bounds of good taste, etc., that I wanted to.

O'Neil, quoted from “Notes from the Batcave: An Interview with Dennis O’Neil” in The Many Lives of The Batman: Critical Approaches to a Superhero and His Media:

There was a time right before I took over as Batman editor when he seemed to be much closer to a family man, much closer to a nice guy. He seemed to have a love life and he seemed to be very paternal towards Robin. My version is a lot nastier than that. He has a lot more edge to him.

O'Neil in 2015:

Modern Batman does not do camp. He has to evolve but to stay true to the concept he has to stay lonely. The kids, there shouldn't be many. Keep him the lone, obsessed crusader and the stories will be better. We did a story called Son of the Demon. It told a story where he had a kid, a baby. It wasn't in continuity. These days, the kid came back and became the new Robin, and I hear that Batman's got a few more running around.

Jim Starlin, Batman writer (1987-1988), writer of A Death in the Family:

I tried to avoid using [Robin] as much as I could. In most of my early Batman stories, he doesn’t appear. Eventually Denny asked me to do a specific Robin story, which I did, and I guess it went over fairly well from what I understand. But I wasn’t crazy about Robin.

I thought that going out and fighting crime in a grey and black outfit while you send out a kid in primary colors was kind of like child abuse. So when I started working on Batman, I was always leaving Robin out of the stories, and Denny O’Neil who is the editor finally said, "You gotta put [Robin] in."

youtube

In the one Batman issue I wrote with Robin featured, I had him do something underhanded, as I recall. Denny had told me that the character was very unpopular with fans, so I decided to play on that dislike. [...] At that time, DC had this idea that they were gonna do an AIDS education book, and so they put a box out and wanted everybody to put in suggestions of who should contract AIDS and perish in the comics. I stuffed it with Robin. They realized it was all my handwriting so they ended up throwing all my things out. About six months later, Denny came up with this idea of the call-in thing. [...] I didn’t find out about it until I came back [from Mexico] and found out that, just as I expected, my ghoulish little fans voted him dead. But by a much smaller margin than I’d imagined. It was only like 72 votes out of 10,000, so statistically it was next to nothing.

Dan Raspler, assistant editor/associate editor to Denny O’Neil (1988-1990):

Denny wasn’t really interested in comics continuity, and he didn’t like superheroes. And if you read his work, you see his influence was really a pushing away from the conventions at the time—it was growing old, that sort of Golden Age-y, Silver Age-y stuff, and Denny sort of modernized it, and he never stopped feeling that way. Jim Starlin’s Batman appealed to Denny. It was a little more ‘down to Earth. Nobody liked Robin at the time. For a while Robin was not—it didn’t make sense in comics. Comics were darkening, and so having the kid was just, it was silly, and even at the time I kind of didn’t. Now Robin is my favorite all-time character, but at the time when I was twenty-whatever, I accepted kicking Robin out, the short pants and all the rest of it.

Comic shop owner Phil Beracha on A Death in the Family, quoted in The Sun Sentinel (October 22, 1988):

"I got 100 copies, and I don't expect them to last past the weekend," said Phil Beracha, owner of Phil's Comic Shoppe in Margate. "I usually get 50 copies of Batman. I doubled my order, and I still expect to sell out." The readers voted right, Beracha said. "Robin is an outdated concept. He was created in the `40s, and back then in a comic book you could have a kid beating up grown men. I don't think that works today."

Writer Steve Englehart, quoted in "Batman, the Gamble; Warner Bros. is betting big money that a 50-year-old comic book vigilante will be a `hero for our times'" in the Los Angeles Times (June 18, 1989):

Writer Steven Englehart, who did a series of Batman stories in Detective Comics, also worked up some movie treatments. In a letter to Comics Buyer's Guide, he revealed the approach he had in mind, which would have pleased Batfanatics: "My first treatment had Robin getting blown away in the first 90 seconds, so that every reviewer in the country would begin his review with, `This sure isn't the TV show.' "

Michael Uslan, producer and film rights holder for the 1989 Batman film:

I only let Tim [Burton] see the original year of the Bob Kane/Bill Finger run, up until the time that Robin was introduced. I showed him the Steve Englehart/Marshall Rogers and the Neal Adams/Denny O'Neil stories. My biggest fear was that somehow Tim would get hold of the campiest Batman comics and then where would we be?

"Death Knell for the Campy Crusader" in the Orlando Sentinel (23 June 1989):

For most people, the name Batman summons up a picture of a clown in long johns, a Campy Crusader who - with the young punster Robin - ZAPed and POWed his way into our lives. That's the Batman that appeared on TV in the mid-'60s, and that's the Batman that the world at large knows. Such is the power of television. But this ludicrous image may become obsolete now that the new, $40 million Batman movie has opened. Robin is absent from the film, as are the perky Batgirl and the utterly superfluous Aunt Harriet of the TV series. And though the movie has plenty of sound effects, they don't appear on the screen as words, spelled out in neo-Brechtian absurdity.

Sam Hamm, writer for Batman (1989 live-action film):

The Case of the Disappearing Robin is high comedy. Tim (Burton) and I had worked out a plotline that did not include the Boy Wonder, whom we both regarded as an unnecessary intrusion. Really: Our hero was crazy to begin with. Did he have to prove it by enlisting a pimply adolescent to help him fight crime? Was Bat-Baby unavailable? But the studio was insistent: There was no such thing as solo Batman, there was only Batman and Robin. So, after holding off the executives for as long as we could, Tim and I realized we had better try to accommodate them. He flew up to my house in San Francisco and we walked around in circles for two days, finally deciding that there was no way to shoehorn Robin into our story. [...] We figured that if we managed to squeeze him in, the lame hacks who were making the sequel could worry about what to do with him next. When the film went into production in London, and ran seriously over budget, WB started looking for a sequence that could be cut to save money. And there was one obvious candidate: Intro Robin! So Robin was cut from the movie and shoved back to Batman Returns— from which he was cut yet again and shoved back to Batman Forever.

Grant Morrison on creating Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth (written 1987-1988, published 1989) with Dave McKean (see the annotated script's fourth page):

The original first draft of the script included Robin. Robin appeared in a few scenes at the beginning then remained at Police Headquarters for the bulk of the book, where he spent his time studying plans and histories of the house, in order to find a way in to help his mentor. Dave McKean, however, felt that he had already compromised his artistic integrity sufficiently by drawing Batman and refused point blank over for the Boy Wonder — so after one brave but ridiculous attempt to put him in a trench coat, I wisely removed him from the script.

Paul Dini on Batman: The Animated Series (1992), as told in the 1998 book Batman Animated:

The Fox Network, on the assumption that kids won't watch a kid’s show unless kids are in it, soon began insisting that Robin be prominently featured in every episode. When Fox changed the title from Batman: The Animated Series to The Adventures of Batman & Robin, they laid down the law-no story premise was to be considered unless it was either a Robin story or one in which the Boy Wonder played a key role. Out were underworld character studies like “It's Never Too Late"; in were traditional Batman and Robin escapades like “The Lion and the Unicorn.” A potentially intriguing Catwoman/Black Canary team-up was interrupted in midpitch to the network by their demand, “Where's Robin?” When the writers asked if they could omit Robin from just this one episode, Fox obliged by omitting the entire story. Looking back, there was nothing drastically wrong with Robin's full-time insertion into the series—after all, kids do love him. Our major gripe at the time was that it started turning the series into the predictable Batman and Robin show people had initially expected it would be. For the first season, Batman had been an experiment we weren't sure would work. We were trying out different ways of telling all kinds of stories with Batman as our only constant. For better or worse, having a kid forced him, and the series, to settle down.

Christian Bale, star of Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight trilogy (2008):

If Robin crops up in one of the new Batman films, I'll be chaining myself up somewhere and refusing to go to work.

Summed up

Among the keepers of Batman, there has been a vocal contingent arguing against the inclusion of Robin. They argue that Robin damages Batman's brooding, solitary persona. They argue that the concept of Robin is too ridiculous and fantastic for the grounded, gritty ideal of Batman. They argue that a respectable version of Batman shouldn't allow, encourage, or train "child soldiers" to endanger their lives fighting against violent evil-doers.

The original and most iconic Robin, Dick Grayson, has definitely benefited from his deep roots in DC lore and his consistent popularity among fans—and yet even he has been shunned from various Batman projects over the decades. When even he struggles to get his foot in the door, his successors face stiffer opposition.

So it's not quite correct to say that Jim Starlin hated Jason Todd. In his own words, Starlin wasn't fond of Robin, and his storytelling (most obviously A Death in the Family) set out to argue against Batman having any kind of "partner" at all. This, following the wildly successful comic that treated Barbara Gordon as a disposable prop. A growing audience welcomed the Dark Age, and the gruesome spectacles made of kid-friendly elements like Batgirl and Robin.

This trend could be broken by the upcoming sequel to The Batman and by the planned slate of upcoming DCU films. But most Robin fans will tell you that many movie-going Batman fans still have their doubts about Robin sharing Batman's spotlight.

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slashingdisneypasta · 1 month

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Erik Destler x Fem!StageActress!Reader || Would Include...

Erik Destler always learning your on-stage romantic interests part totally and then 'dispatching' of the poor guy just before he's meant to go on so he then can always taking his place would include...

Warnings: Contemporary musical references, I don't care, shoot me. Also just basic Erik creepiness; murder and not-super-consensual kissing/touches (dub con at most).

Tagging: @marinerainbow and @masqueradeball .

🥀 Erik falling for you almost the moment you entered the Palais Garnier for the first time. He has no chill, we know this. He's like a Disney Princess. One song and he's fallen hopelessly in love.

🥀 Erik always keeping an eye on the cast lists when they come out- checking who you are and if you have a romantic interest. If you do, that person is now his main target. He may not kill them immediately, he'll wait until the final show on the final night, but there is a big red bullseye on their back now.

🥀 Erik practising 'his' lines (The lines of your on-stage romance) in his sewer room, reciting them to a dummy wearing some... familiar clothing. What? No, he didn't sneak into your chambers in the middle of the night and steal them from you! No, no! Absolutely not!... though you are missing a dress exactly like the one the doll is wearing. *cough*

🥀 Erik treating that doll of you with the utmost care. Almost as much as he'd treat you, the real you, with (Or, how he'd like to treat you. Only the lord knows if Erik could actually be gentle if given the chance to hold you). Its really creepy. Imagine his fingertips only grazing the dolls cheek very gently, but his eyes drift downwards (even though, again, its JUST A DOLL- ITS JUST STUFFING, ERIK!- Y O U ' R E T H E O N E W H O S T U F F E D I T- ) with very desire-filled eyes. Imagine him on one knee before the doll, holding its hand in his, its dead-eyes staring off into space while he professes deep speeches about love that are supposed to be romantic but just come out wrong and infatuated off Erik's tongue. Imagine Erik's hand wandering in the middle of a particularly heated scene; completely lost to his imagination.

🥀 Erik n e v e r, ever stealing the part of a villain. Even if that villain gets much more heated, or charged scenes with you then your actual love interest (Duke Monroth, Professor Callahan, Judge Turpin, Scar, etc). He wants to be your hero. Your prince, your true love.

🥀 Erik watching your every show, in his special box 5, studying you with eyes so hot you swear you can feel them on your skin every night. Paying so close attention, so he knows exactly how to compliment you on stage; how to be your perfect stage partner. This is why your scenes in every last show at the Palais Garnier are so impossibly electrifying to the audience- and, to you.

🥀 Erik allowing your casted partner to appear in the first few scenes with you during that last performance on that last night, so you never really know when its going to stop being the one guy and start being Erik- you're on your toes. Waiting the whole performance for the hand you grab onto to be Erik's. (He's waiting for the perfect moment to step in. The moment when you're really, really in character; lost to your art.)

🥀 Erik being the Christian to your Satine during 'El Tango De Roxanne' (His eyes upon your face. His hand upon your hand. His lips caress your skin. It's more than I can stand), 'Crazy Rolling' (See how I leave with every piece of you. Don't underestimate the things I will do), and 'Your Song Reprise' (Look at me... Satine... Why else live, if not for love?) in Moulin Rouge.

🥀 Erik being the Fiyero to your Elphaba during that super fucking charged 'As Long As You're Mine' scene in Wicked. You know? With you both on your knees on the stage surrounded by dramatic mist and you cant keep your hands off eachother?? *cough cough* I mean, with you both on your knees on the stage surrounded by dramatic mist and Fiyero and Elphaba cant keep their hands off eachother??? XD (Kiss me too fiercely, Hold me too tight; I need help believing, You're with me tonight, My wildest dreamings, Could not foresee, Lying beside you, With you wanting me // Every moment, As long as you're mine, I'll wake up my body, And make up for lost time.)

🥀 Erik being the Prince to your Sleeping Beauty, Snow White during the True Love's Kiss Scene. Oh yes, he definitely goes there. Did you doubt it?

🥀 Erik AS THE BEAST IN 'EVERMORE' TO YOUR BELLE IN BEAUTY AND THE BEAST!!!?

🥀 Erik never appearing at the end of the production to bow- he cant. You know that. So he makes his last moments on stage with you last, because honestly- who knows when the next time will be?? Its not like he can come call on you like a normal person... 🙄he's a dramatic freak. He holds your hand a few moments longer then necessary, or a little tighter. He kisses you one more time even though its not scripted.

🥀 Erik leaving you a bouquet of flowers in your dressing room after that last show on that last night. Signed simply, ceaselessly yours.

🥀 You tell yourself every time that the show must go on. You tell yourself, that thats why you don't stop it; Don't do anything.

🥀 You are lying to yourself. You cant deny the electricity crackling all over your skin every time you see Erik on stage with you, every time Erik touches you under fake pretences. You've never felt quite the same on stage then when he's there with you; you feel like you're really the characters... and there is nothing on earth like that feeling. No one else can give you this. No one but him.

🥀 You expect it now and anxiously await the moment when your practise partner (Just Erik's understudy. Thats what you're thinking of them now; the men who are actually cast) dematerialises from the stage and its Erik.

🥀 You always leave the flowers from Erik at the grave of the man who died. Its sick, the game (?? habit?? r e l a t i o n s h i p??) you're in, but you cant stop. And you cant apologise, so you can only do this.

🥀 You working extra hard to get lead roles at the Palais Garnier. As soon as one show is over, you have a hunger to do it again. Get another part, get Erik back on that stage with you.

Its like an addiction.

#just- aghhhhhhhhhhhh #being on stage with erik being on stage with erik being on stage with erik-#Erik Destler x Reader #Erik Destler #POTO 1989 #Phantom of the Opera 1989 #Erik Destler 1989 x Reader #Erik Destler 1989

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seriouslysnape · 11 months

Text

Patched Up

Aesop Sharp x Fem! Student! Reader

Tags: Minor injuries.

Word Count: 2.2k

“I won’t keep you any longer.”

꩜꩜꩜꩜

He wasn’t surprised when you showed up at the classroom after curfew.

He had gotten used to you showing up at all hours of the day. If he didn’t know you as well and personally as he did, he would’ve been under the impression that all you ever did was roam the corridors of the castle and pop in whenever you felt like it.

Sometimes your visit was just for a quick hello, other times it was for a “real” reason. He never knew what to expect whenever you came bopping in, but not that he was complaining.

He heard your footsteps from the hallway, a heads up that let him know you were about to enter. He was familiar with the sound of your steps, and he could only imagine why you were coming at such a late hour.

Of course he knew it wasn’t Potions related at all, but he still liked to make the same joke every time you came by when the school day was over.

“Are you here for a late Potions lesson?” He didn’t even turn away from the chalkboard to look at you. “It’s a bit late for that.”

“Afraid not,” You grinned, standing in the open doorway. “Is it such a crime for a student to visit her favorite professor?”

“I suppose not. It is an occasional occurrence,” He answered. “Although, lately the random visits have been usually saved for my personal chambers.”

“That’s true,” You grinned. “I was hoping that you’d be up for consoling a broken Quidditch player.”

His anxiety kicked in then, his protective mode turning on immediately…despite your bubbly tone. He forgot about the Potions formula he had been glancing over, his head peeking around the wall that blocked you from his sight.

The sight of your dirty practice uniform and the dirt caked on parts of your face and arms were a tell-tale sign to him that you were coming from the Quidditch field. There were a few scattered scrapes on your legs, and the way that you held your posture made it clear that you were hurt somewhere else on your body.

Abandoning his prep for the next day’s Potions classes, he swiftly approached you. He was gentle as he ushered you further into the room, closing the classroom door behind him and guiding you to his desk chair.

“How did this happen exactly?” He asked.

He was careful as he assisted you in lowering yourself into the chair. Your muscles definitely needed the rest, and if your shoulder hadn’t been hurting you so much, you could’ve fallen asleep right there.

“I had Quidditch practice tonight,” You answered. “These night practices are killing me. Quidditch is impossible to play in the dark…even with illumination charms.”

He put the pieces together without you even saying it. He was very observant when it came to you and had an impressive memory.

“Did you fall off of your broom again?” He asked, taking your chin into his hand to get a better look at your face.

“Yeah,” You replied dryly. “Bludger knocked me off.”

He made a small hum as he glanced over your features to check for any cuts or scrapes that you might’ve missed. He was relieved to see that despite being a little battered up, you were otherwise in good spirits.

“That’s the second time this week,” He remarked. “Where is this carelessness coming from?”

“It wasn’t careless. It’s dark out and I didn’t see the Bludger,” You corrected. “And that’s just part of playing Quidditch. It happens.”

“Not to you it doesn’t. You’re the best on the team,” He said. “Where did the Bludger hit?”

He watched carefully as you brought your hand to the base of your neck, tapping the space between your collarbone and shoulder.

“Right here,” You sighed. “It didn’t start hurting until practice was over. That’s when I came here.”

“You mean that you got back on your broom after you fell?” His face contorted into an expression of disbelief.

With a careful hand, he pulled the collar of your jersey down just enough so he could see the area that made contact with the Bludger. Sure enough, there was a decent bruise well on its way to being fully developed by tomorrow morning.

“I didn’t fall very far. I was pretty close to the ground,” You shrugged. “My shoulder took most of the damage.”

“Are you certain you’re not hurt anywhere else? You didn’t get hurt when you hit the ground?” He gingerly rotated your arm to test its mobility.

“Like I said, I didn’t fall far. The school’s Quidditch field just isn’t equipped to be played on at night.”

This was a common complaint amongst Hogwarts’ Quidditch players. Playing early in the morning and at night was just too dangerous when visibility was low. Aesop was right that this wasn’t the first time that this had happened to you in recent weeks. There had been several close calls, but only twice had you actually hit the ground after falling off. You were just lucky that your body had taken both hits instead of your head.

“Then why do you play on it at night?” He asked the obvious.

“It’s not up to me. The team captain sets the practice schedule,” You explained. “You know that I prefer to practice in the morning.”

Aesop knew that he could lecture you about being more careful and trying to convince your team’s captain to adjust the practice schedule to be during the daytime, but he knew that you weren’t up for a scolding…and he knew that you probably wouldn’t listen anyway. Quidditch was your greatest passion, and he knew that nagging you about it wouldn’t do you any good.

“It isn’t broken, and it doesn’t seem to be dislocated,” He stated, referring to your collarbone. “But I can guarantee that it will be uncomfortable tomorrow if you don’t take something. Is it hurting you now?”

Aesop was a worrier. You didn’t want him getting all fussed up over a little Bludger bruise. If he knew about even half the injuries that you sustained from Quidditch, he would’ve tried to convince you to quit by now. Sure, it felt like your arm was about to detach from the socket, but you weren’t going to tell him that.

“It’s a little sore.” You partially lied.

He leaned against the edge of his desk that was closest to you, his arms crossing over his chest. He caught the slight change in pitch in your voice when you answered, immediately alerting him that you weren’t being totally truthful.

“I thought you said that it started hurting after practice?” He recalled. “If you’re hurt, I need to know.”

It was difficult to get anything past him. You knew better.

“Wiggenweld would probably be a smart idea…” You sighed, feeling ashamed for trying to pull a fast one on him.

“That’s what I thought,” He scoffed. “I presume you don’t have the ingredients to make it yourself?”

You couldn’t help but huff at him. You were beginning to think that he was feeling inconvenienced that you had walked all the way here for his help.

It wasn’t like you were asking him to brew anything super complicated. As a matter of fact, you weren’t asking him to brew anything at all. Aesop always kept Wiggenweld close by.

“I don’t. That’s always why I came here,” You shook your head. “If it’s too much trouble, I can just go to Pippin’s and buy a few vials.”

“It’s late. You shouldn’t be wandering around Hogsmeade at this hour,” He reached into the inside pocket of his jacket, retrieving a small vial of the bright green liquid. “You really should keep Wiggenweld on you at all times. Especially if you’re going to keep getting beat up during Quidditch.”

He wasn’t wrong. You spent enough time on a broom that it was only a matter of time where luck would outweigh your skill, and the luck wouldn’t be in your favor. This wasn’t the first time that you had sought Aesop out after a bruising Quidditch session, but you knew that you couldn’t always expect him to be there to patch you up every time.

“I’m sorry I bothered you with this.” You removed the cap off of the bottle, eyeing the liquid inside.

His expression softened, his stern demeanor relaxing into a more comfortable position. He sheepishly shoved his hands into the pockets of his pants, nudging your foot with his as a gesture of reassurance.

Aesop forgot sometimes that his genuine worry for your health and well-being sometimes came off as aggressive and irritable. That was certainly not his intention.

“You didn’t bother me,” He gave a small smile, gesturing towards the vial in your hand. “Drink up. Down the hatch.”

As common as Wiggenweld was, you wished that some genius potioneer would work towards finding a way to make it taste better. Nonetheless, you gulped it down in two swallows, immediately feeling its effect. The sharp ache in your shoulder subsided gradually until it fully disappeared, and the scrapes on your lower extremities faded within seconds.

“Better?” He took the empty container from your hands.

“Much better,” You sighed. “Thanks.”

“Of course. Are you certain that you’re alright otherwise?” His brows furrowed in concern.

“I’m okay. I just need to get cleaned up and go to bed,” You shifted, preparing to stand up. “I won’t keep you any longer.”

He reached for your hand, helping you to your feet as if you’d collapse. He hated to see you go, and he definitely didn’t want you to leave with the thought that you had irritated him.

“I assure you that you’re not imposing on me,” He said, pulling you in between his legs to keep you from going just yet. “Did you get a chance to eat before practice?”

He always asked that question. Every single time he saw you after practice, he asked you that same question. His arms wrapped around your waist, keeping you close to him.

“No. I was running late.” You replied, knowing what he was going to say next.

One of his hands came to your collar, checking to be sure that the Wiggenweld had done its job.

“You need to eat,” He tutted. “You use a lot of energy playing Quidditch, especially with how rough you play. You need to replenish the energy.”

“I’m tired.” You whined.

“I don’t care,” He remarked. “You need to eat something.”

“I want to shower and go to bed.” You argued.

“Eat, shower, and then bed. If you eat then you can use my shower.” He offered.

A certain glow appeared on your cheeks, shining through the layers of dirt and exhaustion. His heart soared at the sight. His soul exploded with joy and fulfillment with the knowledge that you were so positively responsive to him.

“And sleep in your bed?” You pleaded.

He let out a low chuckle. He had known that question was coming.

“That can be arranged,” He pressed a soft kiss to the middle of your forehead. “But food comes first.”

He wasn’t going to let you get away without getting some food in your belly. He was right after all, you needed the nourishment to make up for lost energy. He swayed you away from his desk, escorting you out of the classroom and accompanying you to The Great Hall. Dinnertime was well over, but there was always a way to scrounge up a meal after hours.

Side by side, the two of you walked together through the corridors to get to your destination. The castle was mostly quiet, considering that everyone else had turned in for the night. Peeves, as usual, was cackling and jabbering about something somewhere off in the distance.

The two of you continued to chat along the way, catching up on what had happened since you had seen one another last. His pinky finger found yours, wrapping around it as a small gesture of affection. It was a comfort to him if nothing else, but he’d feel better once he knew you were fed, clean, and comfortable.

He liked taking care of you. He wanted you to feel your best always, and he would do whatever he had to do to ensure that you were happy.

“Are you coming to my Quidditch match on Saturday? I’d like you to see that all these scrapes and bruises aren’t for nothing.”

Aesop wasn’t particularly the world’s biggest Quidditch fan. He kept up with the pro-Quidditch leagues and followed the scores of his favorite teams. However, as far as going out of his way to actually go see a match was unlikely.

But in recent months, he had been frequenting the Hogwarts matches…mainly the ones where you were playing.

“Frankly, I’m beginning to think that you’re purposefully getting all roughed up as an excuse for my off the record medical services.” He joked.

“I would hardly consider them to be services. Anybody can spare me a vial or two of Wiggenweld,” You bantered. “But in all seriousness, will you come?”

He chuckled again, much lower and even sweeter this time. A sense of warmth and peace rushed over you when he pressed a kiss to your temple, a hum of affirmation sounding from his chest as he did so.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

#aesop sharp #aesop sharp x reader #aesop sharp x fem! reader #aesop sharp x female reader #aesop sharp x you #aesop sharp x y/n #aesop sharp fluff #aesop sharp fanfiction #professor sharp #professor sharp x reader #professor sharp x fem! reader #professor sharp x female reader #professor sharp x you #professor sharp x y/n #professor sharp fluff #professor sharp fanfiction #hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy fanfiction #seriouslysnape

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sakumz · 1 month

Text

a/n : me rn. the lecturer is a liar OMG we were given time to make presentation slides and it's group work not individual so we could constantly ask him to check bro checked everyone's group and the other day I asked how to up my grade since he said he'll give everyone a C for standard and then we just work our ways to up that grade and when I asked him how he gave advise and I follow with it. mf still give me a goddam C. sorry for the rant lmao

-------------------------------------------------------

[ a. rayne x fem reader ]

-------------------------------------------------------

frustrated. that's the feeling you felt at the current moment, clutching hard on the paper your professor handed you. the poor paper crumpled beneath your fingers. the magical students around you were clearly aware of your ominous aura.

" what's wrong? " max whispers on your ear as you jolt from his sudden presence.

" that stupid professor is a liar. he said I could up my grade if my report was about a rare mystical beast, it didn't matter if I could study its behaviour physically. just from a book research is fine. there's obviously no change from the grade! it's still the same C from last exam too. " you ranted off as other students too, felt bad for you. you were just following what that professor said, he should've done you better.

" hey. is it true? what y/n said, " rayne questions, standing tall behind the professor.

" w-what do you mean? " the professor cowers in fear for his head.

" you know what I'm talking about, the research report. ring any bells or must i hit you on the head to make you remember. im sure other students have fallen trap to your grading system. " he says with truth.

" fine, everyone gets a free A! " the professor pushes away the partisan sword near his face as he made a run for the door. the class cheers and thanks rayne before leaving.

leaving you, max and rayne alone in the classroom. rayne makes his way over.

" thanks for what you did earlier. " you flash him a smile.

" yeah I'm surprised you would do all that. aren't you afraid if this gets reported to the other divine visionary? they could take away that title, its like abusing your title! " max spoke.

" it's not really abusing my title, I'm just bringing out the truth and besides what he did was wrong. he lied to his students, he shouldn't be a teacher if he can't keep his promises. " rayne replies.

" aw you're so cute, " you stood up from your seat and gave rayne a pinch to his cheeks, he blushed at the sudden contact but smiles.

" he likes you, you know. " max whispers to your ear, loud enough for rayne to hear as max makes a dash out of the classroom.

" what, really? " rayne couldn't help but uncharacteristically blush harder.

" n-no-..."

" I like you too, " you confess, giving him a kiss to his cheek as he calms down a little.

" thank you, I will protect you and I love you alot. " he pulls your body close, giving you a hug.

" also is it true, you have rabbits in your dorm? let's go I wanna see. " you grab his hand, pulling him out of the classroom.

he didn't say no but walked infront to lead you to his room. the day was spent playing with the rabbits as both awaits for max to return. rayne would put on a good show and beat him for embarrassing him infront of his crush.

-----

ngl after writing this I feel very cheated on omg fcking lecturer 😭😭😭😭 anyone wanna be moots just drop your discord in my inbox or sum o want moots to talk to HAJSJSKAKS

#sakumz.pdf #mashle x reader #rayne x reader #rayne ames x reader #mashle rayne x reader

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alovesongtheywrote · 6 months

Note

i feel like everyone's gonna be asking for this but i'm gonna need a nightmare academia part 912828277 if that's how long it'll take for those two to finally kiss

♥ Summary: will you settle for them very briefly holding hands? in this chapter of nightmare academia, reid and the reader shut down a party and lie to the police. [Prof!Spencer Reid x GN-Prof!Reader]

♥ Warnings: the reader cries over the two-headed calf poem, spencer wants to throw himself out a window, the cops show up and. are cops. discussions of sex, drug use and alcohol consumption in passing, and i think that's it?

♥ A/N: ough, this is gonna be the last happy chapter for a while- but it isn't gonna be sad in the way you're expecting :/

♥ Word Count: 3341

Series Masterlist

♥♥♥

So. You were right. Reid’s friends wanted you to fuck- and they weren’t the only ones. They weren’t the only ones by a long shot.

Since the first bet had been placed, the betting pool on whether or not you and Reid were doing it had only grown. There were more things to bet on now, too- who topped, who bottomed, whether the two of you used handcuffs from Reid’s FBI days, etc. Your students were degenerates.

Your co-workers were running their own bets. Professors Evans and Peters had a running bet on whether or not the whole affair was a friends with benefits thing. Other professors made a game of seeing how many times a day you and Reid would visit each other’s offices.

The head of the criminology department, Professor Belker, assumed the two of you had some sort of secret relationship- and she was generally fine with that. She just wished you and Reid wouldn’t cause so many disturbances about it.

About a week after the George Michael incident (which only ended after you and Reid got someone to smash the musical mechanism) you and Reid were called into Professor Belker’s office for a meeting about your behaviour.

The meeting took place later in the evening. Reid arrived fifteen minutes early. You arrived five minutes late. You were also crying.

Upon seeing you, your co-workers stood. Concern rose in Belker’s chest, but panic rose in Reid’s. You were crying. You shouldn’t be crying. Reid decided there and then that he didn’t like seeing you cry.

“Professor (L/N)? Is everything okay?” Belker asked as you took a seat next to Reid.

“Yeah, I’m fine, Professor Reid just put that one poem about the two-headed calf in my office.”

It had been a prank- just a prank to lower your mood. He knew that the poem would upset you, but it wasn’t supposed to do this. You weren’t supposed to cry-

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll be fine in like-” you checked your wrist. When you noticed your lack of watch, you grabbed Reid’s wrist instead, “Five minutes.”

“Reid.”

Spencer had heard that tone before- it was the one Hotch used when he got a little too invested in cases, or when he acted out of line and spit hard facts at local cops.

“I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to make you-”

“Reid, it’s fine, I swear, I just-” you sniffed, “The cow is just a baby, you guys. As he stares into the sky, there are twice as many stars as usual. No matter how many times I read that damn thing, I always end up crying. I don’t know why.”

You were trying to be professional, but it was really hard. That poem is so fucking sad.

“Did- did you know that crying has a self-soothing effect? It activates your parasympathetic nervous system which helps you to relax-”

“Reid, please-” Belker held up a hand, to stop him, but you held up a hand to stop her.

“No,” you took a deep breath, “Let him talk, I brought this on myself. Besides, it’s helping.”

Spencer perked up at the instruction. He quickly looked to his superior for permission, but before could even begin to nod her consent, he was spouting off facts about tears in a way that only Spencer Reid could. He didn’t stop until there was a smile on your face.

He smiled back.

“Well, now that you’ve calmed down, can we move on to the true purpose of this meeting?” Belker raised her eyebrow. She had posed her words as a question, but you both knew that she was making a statement.

“Yes, we can, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, just- maybe don’t read that poem during any classes.”

You tapped at your chair sheepishly, “Absolutely.”

Belker nodded at you and drew in a long, slow breath, “Now, I understand that the two of you have a… unique working relationship.”

She paused. In the space she left behind, you and Reid nodded.

“Now, this is fine. Whatever is going on between you is none of my business. As long as everything is reported to HR in an appropriate and timely manner, it doesn’t matter to me. With that said,” the woman leaned forward, eyebrows rising again, “I need to be sure that the two of you can work together- without disturbing the student body at large.”

“Of course we can, I apologize for previous inconveniences,” Reid kept his voice calm, though internally, he kinda wanted to fling himself out the window- it would spare him of any and all future embarrassment. It might also spare him from making you cry again.

“I apologize also- and I would like to make it known that I didn’t know the George Michael music wouldn’t stop. The mechanism was supposed to shut off once the cabinet closed, I don’t know what-”

Belker gave you a look that stopped you in your tracks.

“Again, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. Just as long as the two of you can-”

Then, from the distance- a funky pop beat cut off the distinguished professor halfway through her sentence. The song was loud enough to make you jump, but quiet enough that you couldn't quite make out what it was.

Belker rose from her desk and turned her gaze to the window, glaring off into the night. You followed her gaze. There, standing out in the middle of the darkened campus, was a rainbow glow of light. It radiated out from one of the frat buildings. If you focused, you could hear the cheers of drunk students echoing off the various buildings and into the dark.

You expected Belker to give an exhausted sigh, or to roll her eyes at the nature of college kids, but when she turned, a smile lit up her face.

“This is the perfect opportunity. (L/N), Reid, I want you to take care of this.”

“Excuse me?” you asked, tilting your head. Belker ignored your question.

“Professor Reid, you have a history with law enforcement, yes?”

Spencer nodded, not saying a word. Belker’s smile grew, reaching her eyes and setting tiny fires inside them- or maybe that was just the reflection of the lights outside.

“Perfect. If the two of you can take care of this without incident, then I’ll know for sure that the two of you can work together, and no one will have to be moved to a different department.”

“Was that on the table?”

“Don’t mind that now. Just go deal with this before someone in the neighbourhood calls the police.”

It was a valid concern. You stood quickly, giving your superior a two-fingered salute. Reid followed behind you with less enthusiasm. Once the two of you were out of her office, Belker grinned to herself. Was this whole thing an effort to make you and Reid go out to a place that was not college? Perhaps. Whether or not it was, that was something she would keep to herself.

You and Reid wandered through the darkened campus side by side, heading to the rainbow-coloured lights of the frat house. Honestly, they were pretty hard to miss- and even if you had, you could always follow the sound. Music blared, echoing in the air with the excited shouts of students. You still couldn’t make out the song’s lyrics. At that point, you were pretty sure they were Swedish.

In opposition to the noise of the party, you, Spencer, and the rest of the campus were mostly silent. Your footsteps echoed off the various buildings. The pavement before you was illuminated by shitty outdoor lights, the rainbow light from the frat house, and the few classroom windows that remained lit at this hour.

Your tears had long since dried, but your skin still felt a little tacky in the light evening breeze. Beside you, Reid’s gaze was glued to the ground. He had been silent since he made his apology, and you were mostly fine with that. In your opinion, there wasn’t much to talk about.

“I’m sorry I made you cry.”

Apparently, you were wrong. “Hey, don’t mention it. You fixed me, remember?” you gently rammed your shoulder against his, “All your crying facts made things better. Besides, I’m gonna get you back for it. That’s a promise.”

“Good.”

When you turned to face him, he had a small smile on his face. You counted that as a success. You shifted your gaze back to the pavement in front of you, walking with an extra spring in your step.

“Do you think Belker was serious about making one of us change departments?” he asked.

“Probably not. But if she was, you don’t have to worry. I’m the one that would have to move.”

“Oh?” Spencer raised an eyebrow. He knew about your degrees. He knew you were a good professor. He just didn’t know why you were so confident that you would be the one to switch departments.

“Mhmm. You have how many years of experience in law enforcement? A million? Two million?”

“Hey, I’m not that old-”

“You dress like you’re that old. Seriously. I can imagine you teaching dinosaurs about the concept of psychopathy. I’m sure they’d all come away much smarter.”

Reid paused before letting out a very confused, “Thank you?”

“Don’t mention it.”

The two of you walked in silence for a few moments before Reid turned to face you again, “For what it’s worth, you could teach anything. You could teach the phone book and your students would learn something.”

“So could you. Quick, give me a fact about the phone book.”

He didn’t even hesitate, “The first phone book was published in 1878- hey, wait-”

“See? Honestly, if they let you, you could probably do both our jobs and teach a course about the phone book.”

“I doubt that. Besides, if anyone were to teach a course about a book, wouldn’t it be the person with a doctorate in English?”

“Don’t accuse me of being literate. Besides, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m kind of dumb. I got into teaching by mistake. Honestly, I kind of got my doctorates by mistake. So if one of us is going to teach a course about a phone book-”

“Wait, what do you mean you got them by mistake?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t really- it didn’t feel like I put in the same amount of effort as everyone else. It just kind of happened to me,” you stopped walking, “Anyway. Here’s the source of the noise.”

On your left, the frat house stood in all its rainbow glory. Spencer was so invested in your conversation that he had almost missed it.

“So,” you leaned towards him slightly, just to make sure he could hear you, “How do you want to do this?”

“Should we find someone and ask them to turn the music down?”

You looked at him with a raised eyebrow, “You can try that. I’m just gonna turn the music down myself.”

Before he could stop you, you had already disappeared, vanishing behind the massive doors of the house and leaving Spencer alone and out of his element. He wasn’t alone for long. About two minutes after you left, a chant rose from inside the house. At first, he couldn’t quite make it out, but then he heard it clearly-

The second you got inside, you felt the overstimulation starting to creep in. There were bodies everywhere. The stench of alcohol and weed hung in the air like a cloud of smog. It was bright- far too bright, and the strobe effect that the lights took on was almost enough to trigger an epilepsy attack. The music was deafening, but you could somehow hear snippets of conversation over it as you wandered through the house.

“Oh, they’re totally fucking.”

“Hey man, pass the chips!”

“WHERE IS MY BOOOONG?”

“Don’t speculate on them, they’re your professors!” that was Opal’s voice.

“Let’s stay in the building. It’s too fuckin cold outside.”

“It’s fall. What did you expect?”

“I don’t know, man. The elf subplot in those books is so fucking weird.”

“Dude, you wouldn’t even have to pay me to fuck him. Professor Sexy is just that- Professor Sexy.”

“He looks like a long Victorian child, dying from the plague.”

(Technically, if he were Victorian, it would be tuberculosis. You kept the thought internal and continued to search for the speakers.)

“Dude, I got pulled over the other day and I hadn’t done a damn thing wrong. Why? Oh, you already know why.”

“Fuck the police!”

The sound was small- and it was so loud in the room that you assumed if you repeated it, no one would hear you. Your opinion would be lost among a thousand screaming voices.

So, you said it.

“Fuck the police.”

Within seconds, the house devolved into chaos. Kids were standing on tables and couches, doing the worm and grinding on each other, all while yelling, “Fuck the police.”

By the time you found the speakers, you were laughing too hard to properly turn the music down.

So at first, you turned it up.

Outside, Spencer pinched the bridge of his nose. This had to be your payback- your revenge for him making you cry. Honestly, he wasn’t even upset. Just impressed. Then he heard the sirens. Blue and red lights flashed against the house, against the other buildings on and around the campus. Someone had called the police.

Students swarmed out of the building, running across the campus and back to their dorms with bongs, beers, and snacks in hand, all while chanting, “Fuck the police.”

Spencer didn’t see your face among the crowd. As the officers stepped out of their cruiser, their faces red with emotion at the chant, Spencer darted into the house. He slipped between students, searching the faces that passed him for you.

He used his height to his advantage. It helped.

When he found you, you were slumped over a speaker, cackling so hard that you couldn’t stand straight. Your face lit up when you saw him. Spencer could feel something warm fill his chest, and he tried very hard to kill it, just as you tried very hard to school your expression back to something less luminous.

You both failed.

“Are you hearing this Reid? I didn’t even plan it, they just started saying, ‘Fuck the police.’”

“That’s great, that’s so cool, the cops are here.”

In less than a second, the smile dropped from your face. When you spoke again, the joy had been stripped from your voice. You sounded terrified.

“What?”Without another word, Reid grabbed your wrist and pulled you outside. There, you watched as the police tried their very best to stop any students they could. They didn’t manage to catch many- they did, however, manage to grab Opal.

You watched as one of the cops grabbed her arm, her face screwing up in a wince at his grip. Her braids flew out behind her as the officer pulled her closer. You jumped down the stairs, practically running towards your student. Without a word, Spencer followed you.

The cop saw you coming. Opal saw you, too. He let her go, and she ran towards you, stopping a few feet ahead.

“Are you okay?” you asked, just brushing the top of her shoulder with your fingertips in an effort to keep her steady, “Is everything okay? Can you get back to your dorm safely?”

She nodded at you, quickly reaching up to pat your hand.

“Okay, go. Don’t be afraid to call campus security.”

Like a flash, the girl was off, racing towards her dorm. When you turned back, Reid was staring at you.

“What?” you asked, pulling your arms across your chest protectively.

“It’s nothing.”

The cop- the one who had grabbed Opal so harshly- did not agree with that statement.

“Just what do you think you’re doing? I could bring you in on obstruction of justice!”

“Shutting down this party,” you answered, “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Responding to a noise complaint,” the officer spoke to you like you were stupid, “I was going to apprehend that subject for questioning. Can you not smell the illicit substances?”

“Okay, well, she’s gone now. And the source of the noise has clearly gone silent. The party has dispersed, so it looks like you won’t have to apprehend anyone.”

You were right. The campus had gone dead silent. Someone had shut off the lights, too, leaving you, Reid, and the cops with only the shitty campus lights and the blue and red glow from the police cruiser.

Still, the cop glared at you, “And what do you know about police work?”

“Well, y’know. I just have doctorates in criminology and law. No big deal.”

The man looked you up and down, clearly judging you, “I have a hard time believing that.”

“Why is that?” Reid stepped forward, putting himself between you and the officer, “Dr. (L/N) is well respected in their field. They’ve written numerous in-depth papers on the benefits and downsides of various policing policies and criminal justice strategies. Their conclusions are always brilliant, and your field would improve if officers like you would bother to examine their research.”

A blush crept onto your face as you listened to Reid. Did he really think so highly of you? Of your work?

“If you ask me,” the cop spoke again, “All you academics are a bunch of useless degenerates. I have half a mind to-!”

“OH MY GOD, YOU’RE THAT FBI GUY!!” the cop’s partner cut him off, “You were on the team that took down The Silencer!! And the Seattle Strangler!! Oh, I have so many questions.”

Beside you, Reid noticeably tensed up in discomfort. Without thinking about it too much, you grabbed his hand.

“Unfortunately, Dr. FBI guy is currently suffering from a bout of retrograde amnesia- sadly, he remembers nothing from his FBI days. If you want your questions answered, I recommend contacting Derek Morgan, he’s lovely to criminal justice students!”

You pulled Reid away before either cop could respond to your final cry of, “Have a nice night!”

Neither you nor Spencer realized you were still holding hands until you reached the main building. Until then, his long fingers sat intertwined with yours like they belonged there.

Your face burned as you pulled away from him. In the quiet of the atrium, you both fell silent. The only sound was the buzzing of the fluorescent lights above.

“I fucking hate fluorescent lights,” you weren’t sure why you said it. It really came out of nowhere, and you were just starting to regret it when-

“Really? So do I. That's why I can’t stand hospitals.”

“Oh, I get that.”

The two of you smiled. You had probably agreed on things before, but for some reason, this felt like the first time.

“Hey, thanks for having my back earlier,” you crossed your arms and swayed back and forward slightly.

“Ah, it’s no problem. I meant it.”

Heat rose to your face again, but before you could ask him if he really did mean it, he was speaking again.

“Thanks for getting us out of there when you did. I’m not in the mood to answer questions about grisly murders right now.”

“Damn it,” you grinned, “I was just going to ask about the worst cases you’ve seen. Oh well, I’ll leave it for another night.”

“I appreciate your sacrifice.” “My sacrifice? It’s basic decency, Spencer.”

The smile on his face matched yours.

Meanwhile, back at Quantico, Penelope Garcia was not smiling. In fact, she was grimacing. She had accidentally gazed upon some gorey case details and it had kind of ruined her night- at least, it had until she saw just where the murders had taken place.

She dialled a number into her phone- Morgan picked up on the first ring.

“What’s up, baby girl? Do we have a case?”

“We do! And you’ll never guess where.”

♥ Tags: @icarusignite, @usuallyunlikelyfox, @maraudersforlife2005, @fictionalcomforts

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x gn!reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #x reader #nightmare academia

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fandoms-writings · 9 months

Note

i have one for u !!!

7 from angst & 6 from smut with bucky barnes? i angsty/smut is like… 🤭🤭

Pairing: ceramics professor!bucky x fem!student!reader

Word Count: 2.4K

Warnings: SMUT 18+ ONLY, unprotected vaginal sex, p in v sex, pet names: sir, sweetheart, baby. a little angst, but i was having a rough time with the angst so i did what i could.

A/N: listen - i know i said that the event was for drabbles but i get very easily carried away sooooo yeah - i hope you enjoy!! <3

Masterpost || Bucky Masterlist || Event Post

Bucky hadn't meant to get so. . . involved with you. At least, not the way it had turned out.

At first it wasn't a problem, you were just someone in the bar at the beginning of summer who caught his eye and let him shoot his shot. He'd fucked you in the bathroom of that very bar before taking you back to his place to do it again.

You'd become fuck buddies over the summer, hooking up whenever you could, but trying to keep it on the down low because neither of you wanted a real relationship at the time.

And it was fine, it worked.

Until summer was over. He told you he was going to be busier than usual and you said the same. Neither of you had given the other a reason as to why, but it didn't take long for the both of you to figure it out.

He went to work, to bide his time until he would allow himself to call you, setting up at the front of the studio. Copies of his syllabus were laid out on the tables, his throwing wheel was cleaned and ready for a demonstration, though he wouldn't be demonstrating anything today. That would be later in the week.

The first few classes went by without a hitch, and he was glad to have almost all of the students filling his room actually interested in being there. Usually, the fresh college kids didn't really want to be there at all so there was minimal effort, but they actually seemed like they cared this year.

He'd reset up the room again for the last group of the day, erasing the information on the board and rewriting his name. He may have been old school like that, not many of the other professors did it, but he knew some people had trouble hearing so it helped to have a visual.

Students started filing in one by one, some of them already in small groups of two or three, but there was one laugh that had his blood turning to ice in his veins. He took a calming breath, as calming as it could be, and peaked over his shoulder behind him, finding you.

You were smiling and laughing with who he assumed was a friend of yours, and he was sure you hadn't even noticed him yet. He watched as you looked at the syllabus on the table in front of you, reading it over but not really paying it any mind.

He hadn't told you his first or last name during any of your time together. He was just 'Bucky' to you so why would you take notice of his true name on the paper?

After finding his focus again, he decided to just go about the class as if it was any other group of students. Ignoring the elephant in the room that only the two of you knew about.

When class was over though, you stayed behind, waiting for him to finish speaking with everyone else before you approached him, even allowing those who'd come in after you to ask their questions first.

"So," You walked up to his desk, being mindful to leave an appropriate amount of distance between the two of you, "Guess this means we stop, huh?"

He looked up at you then, properly looked at you for the first time that day. There wasn't a single sign of anger or negativity on your face, only pure understanding and patience. And maybe a little disappointment.

"Yeah," he said, "I guess so."

You nodded, "Well, just don't be a stranger, kay?" He could see the sadness starting to flood in your eyes as you waited for his confirmation.

"I promise," he nodded, and you gave him a sad smile before turning around, walking out of his room.

Things continued like that for a while. He'd come around when you needed help, showing tips and tricks he'd picked up over the years. Bucky tried keeping it a professional relationship, but it was harder than he thought it would be.

He couldn't be around you for too long without feeling the need to touch you again. He couldn't stare at your hands for too long, working the clay, or he'd remember how your hands felt on his skin, raking down his back.

But he just needed to make it until the end of the semester, and he could do that, right?

Fall break, your saving grace from feeling like drowning in work and it was only the first semester. How were you ever going to get through this?

The campus was almost deserted, practically everyone had gone on vacation or gone home to their families for the break. You stayed behind, hoping to get a head start on the next quarter's assignments and notes.

And you'd been doing that, until the little voice in your head had gained some courage and made you want to ask the question it had been asking you for weeks. Since the first day of the semester.

You needed to find Bucky, and you were pretty sure you knew where to look.

Gathering your bag and your purse from the table, you deserted the library and headed for the art building. You knew the building would be open, for those students who hadn't gone home, like you. What you were worried about was if his door would open.

And it didn't. It was locked. But there was one more place you knew to check.

There was a knocking on the door, and when Bucky looked up from his sculpture to see who was on the other side of the glass door, his heart all but stopped.

There you were, holding your sweater around you tight as you fought off the chill the wind brought. Your legs were bare beneath your skirt and he just knew you were freezing out there. What were you doing here?

He wiped his hands off with the clean rag as he made his way over to the door, the smile on your face when you saw him through the glass made his breath hitch and his heart stutter as he unlocked the latch.

"What're you doing here?" He asked, stepping aside so you could come in out of the cold.

"I need to ask you something," You said, the urgency in your voice setting off alarm bells.

"How did you know I was here?"

"I know you, how else do you think I found you?"

He nodded, "Right." You did know him. He tried to forget how well you knew him sometimes. "So what's your question?"

"Do you think," You started, fidgeting with the cuffs of your sweater, your nerves starting to take over. You bit your lip as you thought about your question now. You really shouldn't ask it, you know you shouldn't. But you needed to know. And hell, you came all the way down here, so you may as well. "Do you think we could restart what we had over the summer once the semester is over?"

His body tensed as his eyes locked on you. "What?"

Your heart was racing and you could hear the roar of your blood rushing in your ears. "You heard me." It came out barely above a whisper, but that's all you could muster yourself to do. You couldn't ask it again, there was no way.

He hugged a breath out through his nose, "But why?"

You tried not to let it show in your eyes how hollow your chest suddenly felt. No matter how badly you wanted to back away, you stood your ground, but you could feel your shoulders shrinking in on you. "What do you mean why?"

He looked to the ground, his hands settling on his hips. The silence was deafening as the pit in your chest only grew in anticipation. The longer you waited for an answer, the more you could feel the dam breaking, the tears welling in your eyes.

"Bucky?" You whispered and he finally looked up at you, looking just as wrecked as you felt.

"Why me?" He asked, his voice hoarse. "Do you realize how beautiful you are? Anyone would be lucky to have you - someone your age."

You let out a breath you hadn't realized you were holding. It wasn't that he didn't want you - it was the morals of the whole thing. "Maybe," You walked up to him, standing mere inches from him as you looked up to meet his eyes, "But none of them are you."

"It's wrong," He muttered, holding impossibly still as you took another small step forward.

"I can keep a secret."

"I could lose my license."

"So we wait," You whispered, your lips brushing against his as you spoke, "We wait until I'm not your student."

"Yeah?" He asked, a hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

You nodded, "yeah."

You looked up to see his eyes locked onto your lips. You nudged his nose with the tip of yours, getting his attention back to your eyes and you barely registered the crack in his resolve before his lips were on yours and his hands were cradling your face.

It was an all too familiar exchange, one you two knew well as his hands roamed your body, guiding you back towards a table. But it was different this time. There was a new feeling in your heart as he picked you up by your hips and set you on the table's surface, your knees parting for him to stand between them.

His hands dove under your sweater and your shirt, palming your breasts, pulling you as close to him as he could get you while he let your tongue taste every corner of his mouth.

"We shouldn't be doing this," your words were swallowed by him and he groaned.

"One more time," He whispered, moving to your neck, "Just one more." His mouth attached to your skin, sending shivers down your spine.

"One more," You agreed, reaching for his pants, unbuttoning them so you could fit your hand past the waist line and into his boxers. Wrapping your hand around his length, you gave a small tug, earning a groan into your neck.

His fingers moved to the hem of your skirt, pushing it up to your hips and cupping your sex over your panties, groaning at the dampness already there.

"You're already wet, sweetheart," He smirked at you as he pulled away to look at you. "You missed my touch that much, hm?"

You nodded, whining out, "Yes - need you."

He cooed at you as he pulled the fabric of your panties to the side, swiping his fingers through your folds, smirking at the whine that escaped your throat. "God I missed this."

You shoved his pants down, freeing his cock and letting it land over your clit, the sensation sending a jolt through you. He groaned as he swiped his cock through your folds, gathering the slick he could before lining himself up and pushing himself in, holding the side of your neck as he did.

A whine broke free from your lips and his hand around your neck tightened, "I know baby, I just couldn't wait, need to feel you around me." He pushed further in, watching as your cunt sucked him further in.

You gasped as he bottomed out, pushing in all the way to the base, making you remember how full he made you feel.

"Fuck," he groaned, his head tipping back, "you feel amazing." He started rolling his hips, doing shallow thrusts, savoring the moment as your walls fluttered around him.

But you wanted more. You needed him to move.

You hooked your feet behind him, your legs around his waist, and you pulled him towards you.

His head came back down as he looked at you. "Desperate baby?"

You reached forward, fisting his shirt and pulling him down towards you, whispering, "Show me how much you missed me."

His hand on the side of your neck moved down to rest over the lower part of your stomach and his other one wrapped under one of your legs, propping your ass up. "You wanna feel how much I missed you, huh?"

You nodded, the excitement bubbling in your stomach, your walls clenching around him.

"Okay baby."

He set a brutal pace, pushing down on your stomach to make you feel him even deeper.

"Oh fuck -" You tried to hold yourself up on your elbows, the bits of dried clay digging into your skin, but you didn't notice, not with how he was pounding into you.

"You're so good for me," He grunted, leaning forward and moving his hand back up to your neck, wrapping around the front of it, keeping you from falling to the table. "So fucking good around me." A loud moan tore from your chest when he angled your hips down and he smiled, "Fucking made for me. Aren't you?"

All you could do was nod as you tried to catch your breath, regardless of how useless that would be.

"Use your words," He demanded, and it made the band in your stomach tighten.

"Yes!" You got out, "made for you - fuck - just you."

"That's right," He let your throat go, moving his thumb to press on your clit, "and while we wait, no one else gets to touch you, you got that?"

You nodded, "Yes, sir."

His thumb circled your bundle of nerves, "You wanna cum sweetheart?"

"Please," You all but cried, "please please please, sir."

"Give me a good one then," His thumb pressed down harder, circled in time with his hips, "Give me one to think about when I'm missing you, yeah?"

Your jaw went slack as the band snapped, your walls clenching around him as your orgasm washed over you. The blood was rushing in your ears and you almost - almost - missed what he said.

"Wish I could cum in you," He grunted, watching your cunt swallow him back in, over and over.

"Do it," Your voice was hoarse and you were panting, but he heard it. You know he did because his pace faltered, but only for a second.

"Fuck," his hands gripped your hips, sure to leave bruises. "Fuckfuckfu- "

He buried himself as far as your cunt would allow him, holding your hips to his as his cock twitched before painting your walls with his spend. You moaned with him, loving the way it felt.

Neither of you moved for a while, just looking at each other, taking in as many details as you could.

It was going to be a long few months.

But it would be worth it.

#professor!bucky #professor!bucky barnes x student!reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x f!reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanficiton #bucky x f!reader #bucky x y/n #bucky x you #bucky x female reader #professor!bucky x student!reader #fandoms writings #marvel fanfiction #mcu fanfiction

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satosugusandwich · 2 months

Text

𝔏𝔢𝔱 𝔐𝔢 𝔖𝔢𝔢 𝔜𝔬𝔲’𝔯𝔢 𝔐𝔢𝔞𝔫…

True Form!Sukuna x Fem!Afab!Reader (This is an AU!!! Sukuna is not a homicidal maniac cannibalistic murderer! I think he’s sexy and my morals say no dick from crazy murderer BUT dick from crazy 😍)

Cw: very brief mention of trauma, sukuna is an ass, alcohol, mild sexual content but no smut just yet

Description: You've been friends with Yuji Itadori for some time now and have seen the best, the worst, and the strange in all your years of knowing him. You've never thought he was one to have any crazy secrets and well... you were wrong. And now the demon bound to Yuji is bound to you too! How fun! Good thing that you aren't stupid and won't fall for a being that by no means should you have ever interacted with! Right? Right...?

*Yuji is aged up but there will be no sexual stuff with him except maybe like a brief mention but yeah*

Chapter 3 Here!

@dressycobra7

Chapter 4: Quite the Teacher

You did your best to avoid Sukuna most of the time after that and eventually Yuji left your apartment to pick up a few changes of clothes, so you were left alone with Sukuna again. Sukuna was an enigma to you and you to him. Before you could interact with Sukuna, he'd have to watch you through Yuji even though most of the time he did his best to stay away from Yuji. When Sukuna was first reawakened, he was obsessed with fucking around with Itadori and pushing his buttons, but Yuji was far too stubborn to break so eventually Sukuna gave up. Now, he has the perfect opportunity to get quality entertainment but of course he's stuck with an overly sensitive human that has spent the past few days crying or eating. Its no fun when he can't get a reaction out of them, you'd break too fast for his liking. Yuji doesn't break at all, in fact, each time Sukuna pisses off Yuji, he mostly ignores him.

After a few days, you decided you would go to class even if you didn't want to. Yuji agreed that it was good for the sake of normalcy and explained not to worry about Sukuna because he'd most sleep on the ground somewhere or lay down his seats in the car. So long as Sukuna chooses to follow Yuji around, he won't have to be stuck with you. And yet... here he is, staring over your shoulder while you try to listen to the lecture. It felt so awkward having Sukuna hovering above you, just standing to your left while no one else can see him. You have no idea why he decided you'd be the best to follow and you weren't very flattered by it. It took everything for you to not react. The professor would keep talking and then Sukuna would make some side comment about the information he's trying to teach or make a comment about what one of the other students is doing. It didn't help if they were funny and you had to do the most not to laugh.

The monster has always been attentive, things would catch his eye that no one else would from his hundreds of years worth of battle experience. Humans have always had interesting habits to him, some that were entertaining and others that were plain annoying. For example, in the show he was watching, there were humans that were fond of being suspended in intricate patterns and tortured pleasurably which seemed counterintuitive to the human urge to survive. On the other hand, there were more annoying habits, like the humans that obsessed over adjusting their clothing to always look a certain way, as if others' opinions made them so insecure it was palpable. To him, if another judges, why not just show them to mind their own business? Sadly, you were one of those that seemed preoccupied with others views of you. And one that was too timid to tell others to mind their business.

You got up to go to the bathroom and he followed behind you. "Hey," you said once you were out the door, "can you stand further away from me? Or like teleport to Yuji or something?"

With his observational skills, he could tell you were uncomfortable with him watching you, as much as you initially tried to hide it. "Why can't I stand next to you?"

"It feels weird! You keep on staring at me!" You entered the bathroom and shut the door behind you.

"Weren't you staring at me all day yesterday?" He said through the door.

Your face got hot, but not in embarrassment, more so frustration. You really didn't want to leave class as boring as it was, you just wanted to be isolated from Sukuna from a moment and especially his peering eyes. Sukuna wanted to push you as much as he also wanted to know how your brain works, frustratedly his only choice was to stalk you. (It is not his only choice, he’s not good at asking questions.)

When you exited the bathroom, you came face to face with him and you couldn’t help but look into his eyes, you’d never seen real life red eyes before, and never this many on one face. Sukuna didn’t make any comments about your staring but it certainly amused him whether or not he’d admit it. You looked away and started to walk back to class, but this time he decided to sit outside of the room and rest on two of his arms.

Once you reached the end of the day, you were reunited with Yuji which you were beyond grateful for. You have no fucking idea how he tolerates having Sukuna with him at all time or at least in proximity. You can practically have zero privacy unless a door is between you! And did Sukuna watch him as much as he watches you???? You assumed he had just gotten used to it over time and you sincerely hoped you would too. You really hadn’t chewed on the fact that you’re actually stuck with him for life and you wondered if Yuji had accepted that as well. Did Sukuna?

Yuji suggested going to get some drinks tonight, a little pick me up to get you out of your head and while you originally opposed the idea, you decided maybe it’ll take your mind off the trauma and Sukuna. Before that, the three of you went to your place and you slept for nearly the whole day before you sat back to do work, which helped to bring you back into your body and not your thoughts. Then it was 8pm.

You wanted to go out at a seemingly normal time and just throw back a few in peace and maybe talk to a few people while you were at it. Since you all decided to ride in your car, Sukuna was lucky enough to have ample space for once. You didn’t know if he really wanted to follow you around or if the binding made it so that he couldn’t leave either of your sides and Yuji was also wondering the same thing, he just didn’t want to stir the pot. When you arrived at this cute little bar, you were met with Megumi, Yuji’s boyfriend.

“Hey!” You ran up to the man sat at the bar. “I haven’t seen you in a little bit!”

Megumi smiled and waved while Yuji placed a kiss to his cheek. “Yeah, I’m back in town. I visited my sister for a few days.”

Yuji sat down beside him. “I’m so happy to see you!!!” He was ecstatic, grinning from ear to ear. Looking at the boys, they seemed like opposites. Yuji being a super jubilant, bright eyed, pink haired, and muscular dude versus Megumi being a somber, dark eyed, dark haired, more athletic build. It was charming to you, but clearly, the touchy feely stuff made Sukuna groan. He sounded like a grossed out kid.

“I already ordered some shots.” Megumi said. “I know Yuji and Nobara would down them super fast.”

The name made your eyes light up. “Oh is she coming?” You loved when she was around since you were able to complain about men together.

Megumi nodded. “She’s in the bathroom, we came together.”

Sure enough, she was out as soon as he said that, pulling her tube top up and running to you. You outstretched your arms to hug her as if you hadn’t seen her in ages and, of course, another groan from Sukuna. Nobara started pattering on, telling you all about the past few weeks and why she hasn’t been around as much. You kept on giggling and it was like you forgot Sukuna was there. the demon had found his way to a corner and opted to people watch while you continued to bore him. He was still attentive to you, wondering how long he was going to be stuck here watching you all.

Over the past few years of watching Itadori, he learned to find ways to entertain himself, be it creating stories in his mind or thinking about his life. When he felt the urge to mess with people, considering he was able to interact with objects, he loved giving people a spook. One thing he will miss is constantly spooking you, now that you’re aware of his presence, it’ll be much harder. A poor dude decided to turn his back so Sukuna shifted his drink over to the other end of the table. The man didn’t notice it at first, so he did it again. The second time had the man blinking and looking around like crazy. Then Sukuna saw that someone left their keys on the table so naturally, he took them and hid them on the floor under the table. Then of course, he went into the bathrooms and decided to shake the stall doors. Well populated places like this were his favorite outings, he could fuck with whatever he’d like, especially because Yuji couldn’t lecture him without looking like he’s insane.

Sukuna’s acts didn’t go unnoticed by you and as you watched him you realized that a lot of the shit you went through with Yuji was Sukuna’s fault! Oh yeah, when this alcohol induced confidence kicks in, you’re going for his ass.

Nobara noticed that you were downing a million drinks so she put her hand on your shoulder. “Hey, you tryna get dicked down tonight or did something happen?”

You nearly choked on your drink. “Listen, liiiisteeen.” You stretched the second word and slammed your drink down. “I am never letting a man even think about my vagina ever again!”

Nobara put her hands up. “Oh? Finally gave up, huh?”

You scoffed. “Gave up??? Nah, I learned that none of them are worth it! I’ve decided that the next man I fuck will have to eat it first, kiss it too! And also he needs to walk the walk as much as he talks. Each dick I’ve been near recently has just been god awful.” You couldn’t help but rant while she looked at you with wide eyes.

“Yeah, for real. It’s only right they get you to nut first!” She agreed, slamming back another. “There’s this guy they’ve been talking about you know. He’s a little bit older but not too much, but they say he eats like he’s starved.” She licked her lips and nudged you.

“I need proof!”

She pulled on your arm. “It’s rumors for sure, but he’s really fucking hot.” Pulling out her phone, she opened up Instagram and showed you his account.

“Oh my fuck—“ you gaped. “His hair!!! His eyes!!!!!” It’s true. He’s tall as fuck, has Snow White hair, bright blue eyes, and is built not as much as Sukuna, but built. Not to mention his cocky grin and how his sunglasses sit on the end of his nose. “But he’s one of those guys who knows they’re hot, those guys are red flags!”

She shushed you. “Listen, y/n, he’s totally your type. You’re more in his age range and he supposedly likes girls like you. You should DM him!”

You thought on it for a minute, you are a few years older than your friends and even if he’s a bit older, he’s got a good reputation. Scrolling through his account, he’s sexy as hell, has sexy friends, and frequents this same bar. She must’ve heard about him from the other girls here. “Who is the other guy here?”

Nobara tapped on the image and went to his account. “Oh yeah, he’s the darker type. Suguru and Satoru, funny.” She read their names and you looked at both of them. That’s one hell of a threesome idea.

“You like those kinds of men?” Sukuna’s voice boomed behind you.

You turned around fast but then remembered no one else can hear or see him, except Yuji. “Oh.” You turned back around and Nobara lifted a brow.

“What’s up?” She asked, peering behind her to see what you were looking at.

“It’s nothing.” You responded, now looking up the men on Instagram.

Sukuna spoke again. “They seem to be rather proud of themselves. From my experience, they break the hardest.”

You tried to not talk back, but the alcohol was definitely making your temper rise. Yuji was an expert at drowning out Sukuna at this point so he didn’t even notice your distress, not to mention the alcohol and his pretty boyfriend had his attention more than you. Sukuna, for once, hadn’t picked up on it either.

“Hey, I’ll be right back.”

Now Itadori was looking at you. “Are you okay?”

You nodded. “Yeah, just gotta get something really fast.”

Nobara grabbed your arm. “I’ll come with it’s not safe.”

You pushed away your hand. “It’s fine, I’ll be safe.” That’s true, you could just tell Sukuna to save you. You exited the bar and when you got to your car, you looked around to make sure no one was there and sure enough, Sukuna decided to follow you.

“Hm, did I irritate you?” He looked slightly amused.

You did not. “Yes! You won’t shut the fuck up!” You were pissed now, arms crossed and looking at him like he’s crazy.

“Oho? You do have some fire, huh?” He was grinning now, both pairs of arms crossed.

“You’ve been an ass to me since we’ve met and I’ve been beyond nice to you! It’s like all you want to do is piss me off, Yuji too! I literally just went through the most traumatizing experience of my fucking life and now you’re being an asshole to me! Watching me, making comments about the dudes I like, and being an absolute shithead!”

As you yelled at him, his face softened a bit. He let you rant at him before speaking up. “I’m impressed you’re willing to speak to me like this. You have more to you than I thought.”

Ouch, there he goes again. “What the fuck! I just told you about your shitty comments—“

“It was a compliment.” He interjected. “Personally, I love it when people don’t hold back.”

You didn’t know what to say. It’s like he was missing the entire point. “I shouldn’t have said anything.” You started to walk toward the bar, ready to drink some more.

“No, you should say more. Tell each person that’s hurt you to shut the fuck up. Like you did me.” He was grinning again and you stopped walking, looking toward the ground. “I’m being serious. I seriously don’t intend or have intended to hurt you, I just think you need to speak your mind more, raw emotion and boldness looks good on you.”

Spinning around to face him again, you could feel your throat tightening. He looked… genuine. “Were you trying to piss me off on purpose?”

Sukuna shook his head, pushing out his lower lip. “I’ve been told I push buttons, past and present. I must admit,” he laughed, “I love to tease.”

“So you were trying to piss me off?”

He laughed a bit harder. “No, no, I’ve been holding back. It’s not fun to kick someone when they’re down. I think I’m starting to find you more interesting, so I especially wouldn’t do that.”

He finds you interesting? What the hell does that mean? “So you thought I was boring, me?”

He cocked his head. “You and the brat are stupid so you’re entertaining, but watching you these past two days have made me realize something.”

You narrowed you eyes.

“You have a fire, it just needs a little push. Luckily, I’m quite the teacher.” One of his hands went to his chest as though he was crossing his heart. “Keep stoking that fire, brat, it’s quite entertaining.”

You didn’t know what to say, so you just went back inside. Everyone was confused but you decided to ignore it and drink up a little more. If one good thing came out of tonight, that was you forgetting all about the previous nights. Now, you can’t get Sukuna’s words out of your head. Hell, it’s the only thing you thought about, so you went and forgot to do your homework. And also forgot to eat dinner.

It was 1am when you all decided to leave and you were passed the fuck out so Yuji had to carry you and strap you into the passengers seat. Really, he shouldn’t be driving either, but he’s not stupid enough to give Sukuna the wheel even though he offered with a shit-eating grin on his face. Yeah, less worried about his driving skills and more due to the fact that it’d look like a ghost driving the two of you. Yuji went inside with you and tried to wake you up to shower and change, but you opted to remain sleeping. After your argument (one-sided), Sukuna couldn’t help but feel bad. He’s not one to be exceptionally emotional, but he’s been seriously trying to give you advice, he isn’t used to being around normal people, he used to those who grin and bear it for the sake of strength and power, not people who actually feel their emotions. He’s not one to have a soft spot, but something about you evokes emotions he once tried to fully repress for the sake of survival. He doesn’t get it. At all.

You don’t get it either.

Why exactly that night, for the first time since it had happened, why you didn’t have nightmares. And why, instead of dreaming about the two men on instagram, you dreamt of Sukuna lapping at your clit. And also why did you like it so much?

#jjk #jjk x reader #sukuna x reader fluff #sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna #sukuna x reader smut #sukuna #itafushi #jjk yuji #jjk x you

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