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#helped run one of my favorite uni societies of all time :]

cheolism · 11 months

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Hiii I recently became a Carat and as an avid fanfic reader, I was wondering if there are any stories you can recommend!! I have no member preference, as long as there is an interesting story (longer the better, if there are chapters even better). And i love me a good smut 👀

hi sweetheart!! first and foremost, i recommend checking out the other authors of svthub. here you'll find a variety of svt writers!!! as of right now we're doing our spring collab, so def check that out!!! note that i only have a few members on here (gyu, joshie, hoshi, kwannie)? i didn't realize until i finished that i only had these four???? idk if this is my subconscious trying to tell me something but i'll continue to ignore it!!!

my personal faves are all reblogged under fic rec, but here's some that have stood out to me since reading~

spoiled by @wonusite ; KMG

"summary: you have never been spoiled, but that changes after you meet the man your mother is going to marry."

it's got four parts and is so fucking disgusting and wonderful it's ridiculous. it's seriously a marvel to humanity tbh and when aliens come and ask for a relic to prove that humans deserve to be spared from their alien wrath, i'll give them these fics <3

acouasm by @angelwoozi ; HJS

"n.) a ringing noise in your head — and it's just three words of promise whispered by yours truly during moments of sorrow, or moments of joy. the whisper also lives in the crevices of your mind during moments of pleasure, when he makes love to you, his true love."

it isn't necessarily long, but it is so fucking sweet and artful? in my tags i described it as truly belonging to the golden hour, and tbh i still stand by it. it's incredibly tender and freya's way with words reminds me of ancient greek and roman statues; there's an era in art called neoclassical, where artists mostly focus on depicting mythos and creatures from greek, roman, and christian lore. like, an angel with outstretched wings, her shawl expanding and wrapping around her, heaven's spotlight surrounding.

to the brim by @toruro ; KMG

"description: all your sweet husband wants is to put a baby into you—is that so bad?"

LISTEN mika writes some of the filthiest shit, i'm not even kidding. idk how her brain comes up with some of this stuff? somehow she KNOWS all of my deepest kinks and secrets and just writes them like they're NOTHING? truly a menace to society and we should all be on our knees thanking her.

bluff and nonsense by @thepixelelf ; KSY

“Soonyoung? Yeah I know him, you should too. He’s on the uni’s dance crew, and ever since he joined them, their popularity’s skyrocketed. I’ve met him a few times, great guy — got a tendency to run his mouth but hey, no one’s perfect. He’s smart anyways, probably knows how to deal with the consequences, right?”

Soonyoung never thought one bluff could lead to so much nonsense."

this fic fuckign RUINED ME. the others don't have as much plot as this, but even months after reading it still remains one of my favorite fics. i've been meaning to reread it? but i just haven't gotten to it, but i know i'll still feel the heartache and betrayal all over again, it's just that good. like it's so good you can feel the stabbing in your heart and tummy :(

vanilla by @milfgyuu ; HJS

"Summary: Joshua has a secret but perhaps it’s not really a secret at all. Maybe you’ve just refused to see it in an effort to keep your feelings at bay."

probably the dirtiest fic on this list. it's absolutely wild. there was NO preparing for everything in this fic? it's insane. absolutely insane fr. like -- even reading the tags can't prepare you. reader wasn't prepared and i really don't think ANYONE ever could have been.

stay-at-home husband/dad mingyu by @celestiababie

it's what it says! stay at home gyu who is willing to help his darling breadwinner spouse with whatever they need :) it's got multiple parts and such, and it's so cruel that it exists because it'll occupy my thoughts every once in a while and then i just have to stand there thinking about desperate little gyu whining while a teacher is talking. will change your life, 10/10 recommend

pussy sport by @duhnova ; BSK

"synopsis: leave it up to boo seungkwan to almost suffocate between your thighs, eat you out till you’re crying, and to figure out a new kink of his."

when i turn 108 and am getting ready to walk off the edge of the earth, and they ask me my secret to living so long i'll think back to this fic and smile, and then suddenly i'll be brought back to life. it's this serious. every once in a while someone on the svthub server remembers it exists again and goes feral. and i completely fucking agree, we should be going feral over boo seungkwan 24/7. to not be feral over boo seungkwan and this fic is a cardinal sin, and not the sexy kind.

#from katie #ask #anon #n*sfw

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kojinnie · 3 years

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With The Exception of You

I dislike everyone in the room.

Pairing/Character: Reiner x Reader (she/her), Porco Galliard

Tags: SFW, fluff, college!au, Reiner Braun is a jock who is tired of his own friends, secret relationship

WC: 3.2K

Summary: Reiner had agreed to be in a discreet relationship with you, but after six months and with the arrival of Porco Galliard around you, he couldn’t help but to mark his territory.

Reiner couldn’t seem to fathom the butterflies wreaking havoc in his stomach. It came out of nowhere, as it often happened to be. Once in a while, he could feel his guts twisting as his chest filled with overflown emotions at odd times. Reiner hated it when it happened, because as much as he wanted to convince himself that he wasn’t self-aware of his image, those feelings could potentially strip himself off of his cool guy status.

Reiner had come to realize that such strange feeling often occurred caused by the sight of you.

It could be anything. Things so mundane, so simple. Like the way you twisted the pen in your fingers, the way you squinted your eyes at the blackboard during a lecture, and how you hastily scribbled things on your leather-bound notebook.

Or maybe it’s the way you sighed deliberately loud when someone uttered a dumb, sexist remark in class with no trace of shame, after they tried to debate your sound, well-researched opinion, and how you’d resolved it with a sarcasm that could disintegrate a man’s ego. Reiner sat on the corner of the classroom, disguising his chuckle by clearing his throat, finally coming to experience what they had called butterflies-in-your-stomach all along.

At that point he had found himself painfully and helplessly in love with you.

He was well-aware of how different the two of you were. Reiner was the athlete, admitted to the uni through football scholarship, and you were the hard-working academician that mostly kept to yourself – hard to approach, hard to tame. Reiner hated how stereotypical he was – tall, buff, blonde, jock, with cheerleader exes and a DM full of thirst trap from his assembly of admirers. Reiner once wished he was anything but a cookie-cutter of everything you had been appalled of.

Reiner could feel every ounce of confidence he had ever had shriveled around your presence. It’s the way the two of you almost collided to each other at the campus hallway, and the way you threw an acknowledging, formal smile at him before striding away that made his heart ached. He wished you’d run to him and shriek his name with affection, but Reiner realized you were not one of his cheerleader exes, and not that he wanted you to be one. You were an anomaly he had yet to understand. A misplaced figure sticking out of his history of penchant for conformity.

“I really like you.” one day he finally said. Never had he been weak on the knees for a confession to any girl before, but this one occurrence? He did.

He didn’t know how he mustered the courage, but after hours, days and weeks he had spent trying to know you – learning your favorite song, accompanying you for book hunting, baking your favorite muffins, texting you good morning and good night – he finally got you alone, in the campus library, only five minutes before closing time.

You laughed at first, because the confession sounded ridiculous to you. The last thing you needed was a horde of girls sending you anonymous hate comments on Insta because you took the campus’ most eligible hunk off of the market. But he didn’t laugh along, and that was when realization hit you.

“So, is that why you’ve been following me around?”

Reiner furrowed his thin, almost non-existent brow, “What do you think?”

“I thought you were just bored with your jock friends,” you scoffed, “because you know, I’d be bored out of my ears too if all I ever heard all day is insecure men constantly praising themselves.” you glanced at Reiner, trying to discover even the slightest amusement on his hardened face to no avail.

“Reiner, are you serious?”

He sighed, couldn’t believe his ears. The first time ever Reiner caught you being stupid beyond recognition, “For the millionth times, yes.”

“You’ve only said it once, though.”

“For fuck’s sake,” the jock grunted, but there was a slight smile arose from his face, “I like you, really much. Times eight hundred ninety-eight thousand.”

“And?”

“So would you be my girlfriend?”

And you said yes, after three minutes of hesitation, you said yes. With a laughter. Because the absurdity of you being with someone like Reiner was lurid. Yet still, you were in no capacity to lie when his good morning text had been the most unsubstantiated text you looked forward to every day.

You wondered why? It’s just text. But maybe, you tried to convince yourself, it’s because of the effort he put, of trying to wake earlier before you every morning although he was hardly a morning person. Or it’s the way he listened to your kind of music although he was practically tone deaf, and returned to you the next week with his analysis on why your favorite band’s first album was their masterpiece and that sadly they never outdid it with any of their following albums.

And maybe, it’s the sight of the topless Reiner in the football field, after a home match. The way he was quick to run to the side of the field with his Captain instinct, lurching himself towards the start of a brawl between the two teams’ players, heated by animosity over the match result. Reiner was strong enough to break at least ten muscular jocks apart from throwing punches at each other, and with his deep, stern, authoritative voice, he commanded them to “Stop it. Fuck off.” You remembered immediately leaving the bleachers and found the nearest toilet because you needed to breathe and that you felt things simmering in your nether area. You never felt like that before to any of your exes.

Reiner knew the mutual pining between the two of you was evident, and so he was left puzzled when you said, “But please don’t tell anyone yet.” He asked why, but you only shrugged your shoulder with an answer that gave very little explanation, “I just don’t feel like having people talk about us.”

Reiner trusted you, because at first, he thought it was for modesty, you were not a fan of the limelight, evidently. Or it’s for practical reason, you don’t want to be burdened by society’s expectation on how two adults in relationship should be. Reiner could make 1,000 excuses for you that would justify your terms and conditions, so he went with what you wanted, because he was so hopelessly into you.

Nonetheless, still he enjoyed holding your hand in the dark alley of the campus – away from all the prying eyes, or the girls that’d giggle walking past the beautiful giant. Still he liked to have you sleeping naked in his embrace, making lazy circles with his calloused digits on your small back, at the emptiness of his dorm room when his roommate was home early for Christmas. Still he enjoyed teasing you at unassuming place, at the quiet library, studying together in silence for the upcoming exams, he’d be sitting next to you, leaning to his chair and slithered his right hand underneath your sweatshirt, to playfully and quickly unclasped your bra, only for you to smack his stomach in annoyance. He liked you, and he liked how you scurried to the restroom to fix your bra. He liked to be with you, no matter in silence or in noise.

However, after six months, questions started to throb incessantly inside Reiner’s mind. Even after all the time you had spent together, why must still he go alone to the football team soiree? Why would you let his team mate thought that Reiner was single, and promised him chances with girls, left and right? Why were you unfazed to see the girls sliding into his DMs? And when you put on that tight, backless black dress on New Year’s Eve, why would you put it for your friends’ party, and not for his eyes only? Why would you color your lips with the blood red Chanel lipstick Reiner gave you, and smile at other people that’s not him?

Reiner could not make sense of you. He pondered, he wondered and he became jealous. He’d look at you intently and see whether there was any trace of other man on you that he had not recognized? He’d become quiet and his friends thought he had gotten sensitive over nothing. The captain had become agitated, irritable and his head was hardly in the game – all with seemingly no reason.

Reiner began to think that he knew the reason why. He thought it’s the boy you’d met at the Academic Writing class, with stupid name and equally stupid undercut. Porco Galliard, you said his name was. In an instance his name had become a staple in your conversation. When Reiner asked you out for a dinner, it’d be like, “Ah sorry babe, I got this assignment with Porco.” A trip to the zoo? “You know, Porco have this funny experience with apes.” A night out in his dorm? By the point Reiner had a half-boner forming already seeing you in your lounge shorts, you’d be giggling and stayed busy with your phone. Reiner asked, “What’s so funny, babe?”

“What’s so funny, babe?” he asked again, because you didn’t seem to hear the first time he asked you. Distracted, you showed a stupid meme on your phone, “Porco sent me this.”

Porco here, Porco there. Reiner was sick of hearing that dumb name.

He had tried to look up for his background, and he hated to find that all that ever came up about him were amicable. His friends knew him, said he was chill, said he was smart as fuck, said he had a cool family, said he turned down a track and field scholarship for law school. Porco Galliard is a cool dude, they all said.

At certain point Reiner had grown to be furious, and the more your text messages became sparse or the more you spent your Saturday nights without him, the more he set his mind to do something about the two of you. He had become so sick of hiding and he wanted the whole world to know that you were his. Especially that guy with a name that sounded like her mother hated giving birth to him.

So came that day. You hadn’t been replying to his texts since morning, and only did so after chains of messages he left.

[you | 11.35] oh my god reiner!!! I’M SO SORRY, i left my phone uncharged all morning. i’m heading to cafeteria rn, it’s muffin tuesday 😵👅

[reiner | 06.37] good morning baby

[reiner | 07.49] you awake now?

[reiner | 08.15] sleepyhead 😪💤 see you today pretty

[reiner | 10.23] i got practice today until late. see you tonight? my room?

[reiner | 10.55] are you in class rn?

[reiner | 11.36] wanna go together?

[you | 11.45] haha noo a lot of people there

[reiner | 11.45] who r u going with?

[you | 11.55] with pockooo haha we got class together after lunch

Pocko. Is that an endearing term you came up with for the jizzhead? Reiner thought, pissed off beyond compare. He paced restlessly in his room, trying to figure out what did Porco have that he didn’t have? Thinking of how his undercut made his head looked way bigger for his neck, just like sperm; and it made Reiner mad angry. “Fuck you, Jizzhead”, he hissed, kicking the pile of dirty laundry on his dorm room.

The cafeteria was bustling busy when you arrived with Porco. The two of you immediately joined the line for lunch and the muffin. The man was busy babbling about yet another stupid thing that he had done back in high school, but your mind was darted on the muffins that were sold off fast. You looked around and almost everyone you disliked were present – mostly Reiner’s jock friends and their girlfriends. The prospect of one day going public with Reiner and having to spare days in your life to socialize with these loud people made you squirm. Not that you were completely against it, you were just… enormously reluctant to do so. Also, what would they say about you? You barely existed for them, evident by how they just greeted Porco with huge affection, yet pretended like you were invisible despite the fact that you were talking and standing close to him.

Your mind was elsewhere, between eyeing the muffin and managing your detest towards the it crowd, you weren’t even listening to the small talk that Porco was having with some of the jocks, until the mention of your name spilled out of Porco’s mouth, “Hey, have you guys known ___ before?”

You blinked with surprise, and they looked at you unenthusiastically, “Ummm, no?” one of them said.

Porco stared at them in disbelief, as if not knowing you was a big sin, “Get to know then! She’s cool, she’s really into—” but even before Porco could finish his words, they averted their attention elsewhere, pulling out their phone like it was the most important thing in the world, and talked amongst themselves. How fitting, because the first thing they talked about as an excuse for ignoring you was to talk about Reiner, “The captain’s been grumpy. Haha. That man. What’s up with him?” You cringed, because you knew there was no weight in talking about Reiner that must be done at that time, that moment. They just wanted a reason not to be roped into talking to you, obviously because you didn’t think you were cool enough or some other shit excuse only them and their bobbleheads understand. So, conveniently throwing out Reiner’s name was an effective way to basically say ‘haha look at us talking about the coolest guy in the campus so you know we’re in this cool clique unlike you’. You read them too well. You couldn’t even be amused anymore.

Porco looked embarrassed, he smiled at you awkwardly and stayed silent, until one of the girls threw their attention back to the man dirty blond undercut, “Anyway, Porco, do you know Reiner?”

“Ah, I haven’t had the chance to.”

The girl frowned rather dramatically, “Oh my god, we all should totally hang out together with Reiner, right? He’s like—super cool.” her question was obviously in exclusion of you. You rolled your eyes and turned away to see new text from Reiner appearing.

[reiner | 12.15] im going there

[you | 12.16] convenient. right in time. your cool friends are all here and you can sit with them and be cool with them or whatever I guess haha

You immediately pulled your phone to your chest; you could feel your heart thumping. Is this it? Is this it? The question became menacing in your head, because you were not sure on what Reiner was planning to do. The line to the muffin was still far away, and it would be stupid to run away.

[reiner | 12.17] idgaf about em

[reiner | 12.19] i want u

You could hear the girls were still talking about Reiner. Reiner this, Reiner that. You were nowhere to lie that you could feel your chest heat up with annoyance. The way their squeaking voice praised Reiner’s body, Reiner’s personality, Reiner’s wit. For the first time, you knew you were experiencing jealousy, vibrant and up-close.

“You know what? One time, Reiner thought that the way I did my hair was so cute that he wanted—”

Just in time, one of the boys raised his voice, “Oi Reiner!” and in unison the jocks erupted, welcoming his arrival like they were in some goddamn party.

You could see Reiner walking towards the line you were in, his face was hardened and his walk was swift. You immediately turned away to look at the opposite direction, not wanting to see him.

“Yooo Reiner! Where have you been? We’ve missed you dude,” one of them said. You cringed at how they all tried so hard to sound cool, “have you met Porco, by the way? And his friend—”

“—hey, what’s her name again?” one of the girls chimed in, asking Porco instead of asking you directly, as if you were not there. At that point, Reiner was standing not too far behind you, and you pretended like you were too busy with your phone, hoping the floor would engulf you instead.

“Is she like, deaf or something?” the girl whispered to Porco with a jeer, before getting back to Reiner, “So, Rei, I’ve got this party—”

“—yo Capt, do you know that—”

“—have you heard about the news, dude? Like—”

The way all these people tried to suck up to Reiner was so pathetic and incessant, they all chirped like hungry birds all in a matter of couple of seconds. You hated them and you hated the situation.

“—come on, Capt, that would be awesome—”

“—oh my gosh, Rei—”

“—you must try it, Rei—"

“Shut the fuck up,” Reiner said. Rather abruptly. His voice was cold and deep, like he couldn’t give a damn in this world about any of them. Surprised, they all dropped quiet in an instance. You looked over your back at him. Reiner was staring at you, and at you alone, not even at the Jizzhead he had grown to hate so much, “you all talk too fucking much.”

You snorted, suppressing a laughter to escape from your mouth. Clearly, it was too audible, that the girls were now looking at you with complete disdain.

“Babe,” Reiner said, staring at you, while you were still facing the opposite direction, “babe, what are you doing with this Jizzhead here? I can bake you muffins remember? If you want it so much.”

Your surrounding fell deep in silence. Everyone was either confused or surprised. Murmur started to sweep over the crowd, most audible was: ‘Who is Jizzhead?’

You scoffed, finally turning your back, although still closing your mouth trying to prevent the laughter and the embarrassment to display itself.

“What the hell?” one of the girls asked in dismay, obviously she was one of the girls sliding into Reiner’s DM and sending him bikini photos by the pretense of ‘Rei, you should join us for summer holiday!’ when all she wanted to do was to show her tits.

“Shut up,” Reiner said to her, baffling the girl to complete silence, “and stop sending me your beach photos. They’re ugly.”

An uproar of restraint laughter was heard throughout the cafeteria.

“Babe,” Reiner said again, this time extending his arms toward you, gesturing for you to come closer, “now you know why I need you, right? My friends are fucking whack.”

Few laughter was starting to break. Yet Reiner was unfazed.

“Reiner, what—”

“—yo dude, what the hell?

“—who is she?”

“—are they dating?”

“And listen here, you hag,” Reiner now turned his attention to the girl who called you deaf, “she’s got a name. Her name is ___, and she’s my fucking girlfriend.”

Embarrassed yet amused, you finally let out a small chuckle, “Reiner, please you’re humiliating me.”

“Whatever,” he shrugged off. Reiner now turned his attention to Porco, “and listen here you, Jizzhead. You can be nice to her but keep in your fucking mind, she’s mine.”

Without hesitation, Reiner pulled your hand and yanked you closer to him. You stared at him for a second, eyes broadened and heart thumping, “Reiner, what are you gonna do—”

“—shut up.” he said, cupping your face with his gigantic hands, and pulled your face roughly to him, before landing his dry, chapped lips to yours. He had gone sick of pretending, and doing things in secret. So there Reiner Braun was, hungrily, longingly, sloppily devouring your lips with his mouth, so deep, so thirsty of your taste. He finally showed the world who the true owner of his heart was. You.

#reiner x reader #reiner x you #reiner braun #attack on titan reiner braun #porco galliard #shingeki no kyojin #aot #snk #reiner fluff #attack on titan #aot fluff

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atruththatyoudeny · 3 years

Text

Happy 28th! Here are all the 14 fics I read and enjoyed this month. As always, all the love for all the amazing authors in this fandom! ♥

In The Still Of The Night | jacaranda_bloom | Dirty Dancing AU - a/b/o - prejudice - gender stereotyping - class divide - angst - pining - smut - 69k In a society where omegas are expected to follow a predetermined path, Louis strives for more; for his voice to be heard, for recognition, for true love. In a world where your past defines your future, Harry fights against the system; for equality, for a different life, for acceptance. When their two worlds collide, will they be beaten down by conformity or will they rise up and forge a new path together? OR the Dirty Dancing AU where Louis is a feisty omega who wants to change the world, Harry is an alpha from the wrong side of the tracks, and nobody puts Louis in a corner.

Plant New Seeds in the Melody | 28sunflowers | enemies to friends to lovers - miscommunication - misunderstandings - emotional hurt/comfort - Original Character Death - grief/mourning - slow build - smut - 58k After losing his husband in a tragic car accident, the last thing Louis needs is to keep running into popstar Harry Styles, who David was quite fond of. Obviously, that’s exactly what keeps happening. But as their unlikely friendship blossoms, Louis realizes that, maybe, having Harry in his life was the only good thing that came out of his adverse circumstances. Harry could be just the right person to help Louis find trust and intimacy in someone new.

take my hand, wreck my plans | amomentoflove | Cinderella AU - a/b/o - royalty - Minor Character Death - emotional abuse - magic - 38k Louis meets the man in the center of the room, feeling every eye on him. “Mr. H,” he whispers. The man smiles brightly and laughs as if he can’t believe his eyes. “It’s you,” he says breathlessly. “I didn’t think I would see you again.” “Nor I you, especially under these circumstances.” “Even so,” Mr H says, his eyes bouncing from Louis’ eyes to his lips. “Will you do me a great honor and join me in leading the first … um…” “Dance?” Mr. H laughs and nods. “Yes, that’s the one.” Louis bites his lips and doesn’t hesitate before whispering, “Yes.” Mr. H beams and reaches for Louis’ hand. Sparks fly at the touch and a zing of excitement shoots through Louis’ body. His face heats up as he’s afraid his scent would give away his feelings towards the other man.

One More Taste of Your Lips | Canadianlarrie & MsHydeStylinson | canon compliant - reunion tour - angst - internalized homophobia/biphobia - cheating - smut - Coming Out - 80k It had been eight years since the hiatus began, and Louis had spent that time writing and recording music, touring and making it safely through the pandemic. When the opportunity arose to go back on tour with One Direction, Louis knew he'd be a fool not to take it. Sure, life on the road would be different after all this time apart, but he was looking forward to experiencing that comradery again. What he hadn't realised was that living the better part of nine months in each other's pockets was bound to dredge up issues from his past. And when one of the pockets belonged to Harry, who he'd had a rather unconventional friendship with that drifted apart during their last tour, life on the road again would upend both their lives in irrevocable ways. * Harry wasn’t that sixteen year old boy anymore. Nor was he the young man in his late teens who was on the cusp of conquering the entire world. But some traits seemed to remain the same; his vibrant green eyes, the dimples set deeply in his cheeks whenever he laughed earnestly, or his curls that were the same shade of cocoa that Louis remembered fondly. And yet, Louis had absolutely no idea who this man that stood a mere twenty paces away was today.

Old Photographs & Times I'll Remember | jaerie | time travel - Eroda - period-typical homophobia - anxiety - depression - discussion about suicide - self-discovery - post-break up - 54k Carefully he set that negative down and lifted the paper to see there was another beneath. This one again was a young man, this time posed against an antique car. He lifted a few more negatives out one by one, each a portrait of the same man with various backdrops. The man in a meadow, in an office, leaning against a doorframe — even one in his underwear grinning at the camera. On the edge of each negative printed in slanted, handwritten characters were the initials and date. H.S. 1924. He quickly but carefully packed them back into the box and buzzed with excitement. He couldn’t wait to develop them to see exactly what had been captured in the images. It was a find that felt like a puzzle to piece together. H.S. was likely the man in the photographs as well as the owner of the suitcase. Who was he? Why had his suitcase found its way into Niall’s attic? Was he still alive and well somewhere in the world? A camera, a suitcase, and a relationship forged through time.

Know a Trick or Two | SadaVeniren | Harry Potter setting - mpreg - magic - kid fic - - genderfluid character - smut - intersex - 44k The night before Louis is scheduled for a Portkey to begin training with the Vratsa Vultures in Bulgaria he heads into Muggle London for one last night of fun. A few months later he finds out he’s having a child. Eleven years ago Harry had a one night stand and now there’s a strange man on his doorstep telling him his daughter is something called a wizard and she’s got a place at the British wizarding school Hogwarts. Aka the one where Muggle Harry and Wizard Louis have a one night stand and get more than they bargained out of it.

come away with me | suspendrs | Minor Character Death - friends to lovers - sexuality crisis - emotional hurt/comfort - anxiety - smut - 80k Louis had such big plans. He wanted so much out of life, and so did Amy. Now Bridget is going to grow up without a mother, and she’s always going to wonder what it would be like if this hadn’t happened. He wonders if she’ll blame him for her mother’s death as she gets older, or if she’ll understand that this is just as painful for Louis as it is for her. Louis doesn’t know how he’s going to raise her on his own, because he’s a fantastic father, yes, but he’s always been the fun parent, and Amy was in charge of the rules. He doesn’t know how to make sure Bridget has everything she needs all the time, doesn’t know how to make her favorite meal or how to do that one braid she loves to have in her hair or how to teach her to be the best person she can be. He doesn’t know how to live without Amy, he doesn’t know what he’s going to do. Or, Louis has to pick up the pieces of his and his daughter's life after his wife dies, and Harry is a beautiful stranger that just wants to help.

we made our promises (we said our vows) | millsx | Military AU - established relationship - kid fic - angst - hurt/comfort - mentions of PTSD - mentions of depressions - mentions of anxiety - injury - long-distance relationship - 21k Fairy tales always end with the Happily Ever After; the princess escapes her evil stepmother and gets married to the knight in shining armor. It turns out real life doesn’t care about Happily Ever Afters and sometimes problems appear when you don’t expect them to. Harry sure didn’t, not after years of being married.

Love, Ever After | jacaranda_bloom | a/b/o - farmers markets - soulmates - pining - miscommunication - fluff - banter - smut - 21k One would assume that the charismatic omega in charge of the local matchmaking service would have found a mate and settled down ages ago. His clients, in fact, are always a bit surprised when they come to learn that Louis is still single. But Louis doesn’t mind, not really. His standards are just high; he is happy holding out for his alpha, his soulmate, and chooses to not waste his time with anyone else, despite what his friends might think. That is, until his best mate from uni drags him out of bed far too early on a Saturday morning after a night of drinking to go to a farmers market, of all places. It’s there that he proceeds to make an utter fool of himself in front of the hottest alpha he has ever laid eyes on. There’s truly no coming back from that, is there? OR The one where omega Louis makes love matches, alpha Harry makes cheese, and meddling friends might finally make their dreams of finding their soulmate come true.

Hometown | allwaswell16 | High School - College/university - driving - heartbreak - memories - friendship - happy ending - angst - 2k On the day Harry gets his driver’s licence, he drives through the suburbs, heartbroken that he can’t drive home to Louis.

fever dream high | wildestdreams | friends to lovers - childhood friends - a/b/o - fluff - angst - smut - mutual pining - High School - 30k "Excuse me, what?" Harry licked his lips, carefully looking him in the eyes. "I will spend your heat with you so you're ready by Monday to play your game." "Harry," Louis began, suddenly at a loss for words. "I couldn't ask you to do that." "Why not? You just said you trust me." "You're my best friend. There's no one I trust more than you." "Then what's the problem?" "Well, friends don't usually help you through your heats or ruts, so excuse me for being a little skeptical." or A High School ABO AU where Harry and Louis are best friends and nothing more until things start getting a little complicated and they're faced with feelings they never wanted to confront.

We are the same, you run in my veins | 28sunflowers | a/b/o - non-traditional a/b/o- soulmates - wolves -pack dynamics - 4k When the time for Louis to become the Alpha leader of his pack comes, he can’t rise to the occasion for not being yet bonded. A series of trips to neighbouring packs in search of his soulmate is fruitless until he meets one of the other packs’ Alpha heir. Harry. The world seems to stop turning for a second and then it shifts, clicking into its axis. All the distress and wrongness he felt until that very moment suddenly disappears. Louis is finally whole. But two Alpha leaders from different tribes soulbonding is something unheard of before.

Divinely Blessed | thinlines | a/b/o - non-traditional a/b/o - established relationship - PWP - 17k “I heard you, Ni. But what do you mean?” “What do you mean what I mean?” Harry rolled his eyes as he shoved his alpha friend down onto a seat. “Did you mean you lick someone out or…?” “Nah, mate! It was me! I got licked out!” Harry could only stare at Niall in horror. Alpha Harry prides himself on having the bravest and most caring omega who might or might not just fulfill his sudden curiosity.

This chemistry like candy to me | CuckooTrooke | a/b/o - kink discovery - mpreg - male lactation - smut - 8k "It's just... Are you aware, that, uh... You're- You're kind of leaking." Harry feels his blood run cold. The heart that was thudding so loud and fast drops to his stomach, and his shoulders hunch in embarrassment. "Excuse me?" Harry asks once he manages to gather himself and recover from the shock. He automatically steps back but since he's already squeezed in the corner, it doesn't do much to put any distance between them, "Who the fuck do you think you are?" "Wha- No. Oh my god, I wouldn't- No," The man says as he realizes the misunderstanding, and wildly gestures to his chest, "I mean your- Your chest. Is leaking." OR Harry is 8 months pregnant with a poor balance and traitorous nipples. Unfortunately for him, that is precisely when he meets a beautiful alpha in a packed London Tube. Fortunately for him, the said alpha might just be the best thing he has ever come across.

#28th appreciation #fic rec #my fic rec #my reads #monthly fic rec #monthly reads #completed fics #larry fics

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princeanxious · 4 years

Note

Okay stupid tumblr didnt tell me you said yes but HERE ARE MY QUESTIONS :DDD

When did they become vanpires

How old are they

What year were the vampires born

How long has V been locked away, what has he missed

Does V immediately latch onto the grunge/emo aesthetic because it matches the whole vampire theme

Is Roman a himbo™

What is the twins relationship like

Anxciet is the main pairing, are there any side pairings?

How does Janus react to the whole "oh yeah vampires are real" thing

Were any of the vamps around for any big historical events

Were any of the vamps big historical figures

Do they end up going to highschool/uni with the humans

What does everyone look like

Do any of them have really strong opinions about something useless (eg. pineapple on pizza, a certain colour, double denim, etc)

Virgil became a Vampire sometime in the 17/1800s?? Logan is from around the 1500s, and Patton claims he lost count a long time ago.(Patton’s probably at least at least a thousand years old though? But he looks more like a young 25 y/o whose attire choices change day to day but generally always gives off that Parent vibe), Virgil was turned by Patton, Logan was born Vampire, Patton was assumably born vampire. Remus and Roman are 27, Janus is 25.

Virgil was locked away for about 150 years, give or take? He missed the entire shift in society and the human experience, from how relationships are viewed/treated to longer lifespans, to cleaner hygiene, convenience, and technology, hell, even the more open existance of the lgbtqa+ community! A /lot/ has happened in the past 100 years, and now Virgil has alot of catchup to do.(and don’t worry, Patton & Logan help Virgil catch up pretty quickly, they share flashcards and Virgil gets h o o k e d on social media when he gets a phone)

He absolutely does. Its a weird adjustment, what with the now wildly varied different textiles and styles and change. Especially the lack of layers, he misses those. (And finds immense comfort in the jacket that Janus gifts him, as its big and oversized and feels oh so very soft and warm.) But no yeah, he gets his hair cut(it still grew for those years locked away, albiet still rather slowly from malnutrition) and rocks the fringe, even gets his hair dyed purple to match his eyes, all the grunge/punk/emo aesthetic! Some of his favorite new things are makeup, piercings, and so much black fabric to chose from!

You’ll be surprised to note, that Roman is sadly not a himboTM in this au, as Virgil has already taken over that roll 💜💜💜

Remus and Roman’s relationship? Honestly ride or die chaos, the kinds of siblings that play pranks on one another and insult eachother but god forbid some poor outsider steps in to try and say the same thing they said abt their sibling, that outsider will have regreted it. The kind if ‘The Only one allowed to call my brother a Bitch-Ass Idiot is ME’ kind of siblings? Look they grew up in a area filled with people who dont like things out of the norm and befriended the local bullied kid who is half-covered in snake scales and speaks with a lisp due to his split togue. Remus himself suffers from intrusive anxiety and Roman suffers from chronic(?) depression. They’re all a bit ride or die, through and through.

Anxceit is the main pairing, and while it’s not entirely set in stone, Logince and Intruality are probably the other two.

Technically its not a secret in their world?? Like magic is a thing in their workd, its just usually left out of humanities bloodline. Humans like Janus are pretty rare bc of that. Vampires are still p rare to meet but not unheard of.

Yes, the vampires were alive for many major historical events. No we are not going to talk abt any of them. Same goes w/ historical figures.

Yes! Infact, Roman and Logan share college/uni theatre classes together! Logans currently an astronomy major, Roman a theatre arts major(i think thats what its called?) Logan is a formidible lyrical rival and Roman finds himself constantly losing to his rival in the form of slam poetry, though every day Roman always gets a little closer to winning(Logan adores the challenge, and the passion Roman has to beat Logan at his own game is riviting to experience. Logan would def consider Roman a perfect companion, but would have never acted on it if virgil hadnt been rescued by said companions twin brother, thus gettig both trios heavily involved w/ each other.) Patton’s been alive so long that he doesn’t care too much for academia, and instead focuses on tactile learning, like pottery and woodworking. Remus himself is an arts major, known for making really hyper horror or grotesque creature sculptures/doll customization, so he kind of just laches onto this man who seems to be larger than life and is far from bothered by Remus’s ‘not safe for common convos’ way of talking and its nice not to have someone run away. (Honestly, the feeling is mutual between the two)

As for what everone looks like, I kinda just want to leave that up to interpretation? If I end up drawing any of them they’ll probably be reflective of the way that I usually draw the sides, just human or vampire-ified, and maybe have a trait or two tweaked specifically for the au? The only real thing standing out to me is that i might give Remus or Roman Albinism? Idk yet.

Uhhhh i’m sure they have alot? Logan hates modern mirrors, bc they are usually not made w/ a silver backing. Let me tell you the first time Logna passed his full blown reflection out of something he’d never been able to use before, its clear, consise, ans ge hates it bc he can now very easily stare into his own eyes clearly and question existance.

Patton, despite being the oldest ever, is still v afraid of soiders despite knowing they cant hurt him too horribly.

Virgil is under the strong opinion that memes are hilarious and hoodies are amazing.

#anxceit #intruality #logince #mvv au #sanders sides #virgil sanders #janus sanders #vampire!virgil #vampire!patton #modern vampire vee au #luka’s aus #luka answers #ask to tag

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miekasa · 3 years

Note

💉 in the case of erwintholomew, our most esteemed blonde dad

before the pandemic, they barely interacted. erwin was levi’s friend after all. although the rest of the gang had bonded with oc, erwin was less visible. he was polite of course, charming even! in uni days (erwin works in corporate now, so his major is business/econ/accounting whatever yall want!), every single history and literature professor fell in love with erwin. as did the barista at the school cafe, the friday night guard, the park street sweepers, and every member of the tai chi ladies club who practiced during weekends at the park where he made his morning run. he always greeted them and yelled “great form, keep it up, ladies!” when he passed by.

of course he tried to turn up the charm on oc (old habit). but. but. oc was just. unaffected. she treated him no differently from the others in his friend group. no swooning or giggling or bashful smiles. she didn’t even blush when he tried his smoulder while offering her some of his enhanced fruit smoothie (enhanced with spinach and kale). she laughed and declined, opting instead for a berry smoothie that she loaded with full-fat yogurt and honey. he was aghast. and levi said oc was a doctor? (levi might have been laughing silently in the background. hange was full-on cackling while moblit was trying to shush them.) he didn’t dwell on it much, it’s not like they saw each other a lot. but then the pandemic struck. being confined to one living complex meant he was lucky to see his friends still. they were at levi’s, watching a movie, when it happens.

oc walks through the door and hange yells “hiiiiii!” she waves at them tiredly. and starts stripping. at the door. in front of everyone. erwin’s blood pressure spikes. his face goes red. he’s staring with his mouth half open, thick brows knitted together. levi snaps his fingers to shake him out of it. moblit is tapping his shoulder more forcefully by the minute while hange has begun asking oc about her day. they’re talking amiably as if oc wasn’t by the door, in her underwear, spraying her things down with alcohol. she catches erwin’s staring and laughs out loud. by this time, moblit has hidden behind the couch and levi has buried his head in his hands from secondhand embarrassment. oc asks him if he’s never seen people in bikinis. “it not as if a bra and undies covers anything less!”. (erwin will later be relieved that she understood him and did not pin him for a creep). hange says erwin just doesn’t function like a regular human. he’s more of an intergalactic species with elements of dad-ness to him.

hange: he’s kind of like a DILF but also a dad!

moblit audibly groans in embarrassment. oc giggles and walks to the bathroom to shower like nothing happened. levi and hange both give erwin a slap, and that pulls him out of it.

levi: you’re redder than a hot cheeto, your elderly highness

erwin: what’s a DILF?

a few headcanons of their relationship:

he still gets flustered seeing oc strip down after work. he fainted once when hange began talking about oc’s bra and the little birds embroidered on her underwear (on her butt). oc sighs and just tells levi to elevate erwin’s legs and let him smell something pungent. moblit has a picture of him passed out. it’s printed and framed on hange’s shelf.

he almost popped a blood vessel when oc once asked him what was the difference between debit and debt and dividends.

oc: i’m a science nerd, erwin, i don’t know jack shit about business jargon!

erwin: these are accounting terms! they’re totally different!

oc: to-ma-to, to-mah-to?

erwin just really has to ask. really. because he’s erwin. “

erwin: do you ever think of a different line of work? i mean, it is a very scary virus and a pandemic

oc: erwin, i went through a decade of academia for this. still going through it. and i need to pay rent and put food on the table!

levi is rolling his eyes in the background because this little shit said that with her whole chest while she was literally living off peanut butter.

erwin is also stressed with oc’s eating habits with particular attention to nutrients and calorie count. he tried giving oc an organic diet plan, but oc sat him down and debunked every single thing about trendy diets. she also bugs him stop dieting. “diets are not foolproof! erwin, you are 250 lbs of healthy muscle! one burrito won’t hurt!”

they once had a romcom movie night. it was cheesy and fun and perfect for unwinding. until the sex scene happens.

oc: why do men just stick it in? where is the foreplay?

hange: mhmm the male gaze has ruined men, amazing how men ruin themselves

erwin, turning red: do people really talk about detailed sex so casually? i mean we’re in public?

levi: yes, erwin, grow up

moblit, whispering: it wasn’t even detailed, erwin, please

he does go to oc when he pulls a muscle or strains something. she tut-tuts while wrapping up a joint or icing and stretching his sore muscles and tells him to take it easy on the workouts. he’s also started sending fitness health articles to oc, and oc patiently confirms or debunks each one with sound medical and scientific basis.

he lets oc use his gym. she works out in a sports bra and cycling shorts because she says it means less laundry for her. oc usually just runs (speedwalks actually, and jesus, erwin is itching to turn up the speed) on his treadmill for 20 minutes. then she cycles for another 20 minutes and calls it a day. he tried to take on the role of her trainer and gave her a workout regimen. oc makes it to five sit-ups, ten burpees, and a single 1-minute plank before she falls flat, gasping like a fish out of water, and gives up. she’s flat out on his gym floor, but she tells erwin she appreciates him. erwin had to give her a piggy-back ride back to her apartment though.

levi:you died after five sit ups?

oc: shut uP, LEVI

whenever she uses his gym, she leaves him food. a slice of cake, donburi from the japanese place, a salad bowl, fajitas, some mochi, a parfait. not once has her gift of food been a part of his diet plan, but he eats them heartily. he hides when he eats the desserts, even if he’s roomie-free. he just feels like he’s cheating too much.

he never quite gets used to oc. she’s nice and wonderful, but she still manages to surprise him. a lot. to others, it may seem like oc enjoys pulling his leg (to hange’s endless delight), but in reality, she’s just trying to help him navigate and acclimatize to the ever-changing modern society and social norms. levi notices, of course, and it only makes him fall so much harder 😌

it’s fun to clown erwin within reason, really vibing with the modern au erwin on here 😌 but yeah, this is how i picture their interactions and dynamics 😭

THIS IS PERFECT OMFG BYE!! I love, love, love the idea of just... slightly socially aloof, but very professionally proficient Erwin trying to make friends with Levi's.... well not his s/o but his very obvious crush at least LMAOOO. I love it, I really, truly do anon, you continue to deliver 😌😌

OC: Erwin, I went through a decade of academia for this. Still going through it. And I need to pay rent and put food on the table!

Levi is rolling his eyes in the background because this little shit said that with her whole chest while she was literally living off peanut butter.

HELP LEVI IN THE BACKGROUND BECAUSE HE WOULD 😭😭 LITERALLY LIVING OFF OF PEANUT BUTTER BYEEE the amount of unconscious lies Levi could expose oc for... I get the feeling he's /this/ close to strapping her to the dining room chair and spoon feeding her himself

Levi: you’re redder than a hot cheeto, your elderly highness

Erwin: what’s a DILF?

HELP THIS IS MY FAVORITE EXCHANGE LMAOO. Levi clowning Erwin, Erwin being too confused too even respond to Levi's jab; he's still processing being called a DILF, and I just know that Levi isn't gonna be the one to explain it, but god forbid Hange does lmfaooo

OC makes it to five sit-ups, ten burpees, and a single 1-minute plank before she falls flat, gasping like a fish out of water, and gives up. she’s flat out on his gym floor, but she tells erwin she appreciates him. erwin had to give her a piggy-back ride back to her apartment though.

Levi: you died after five sit ups?

OC: shut uP, LEVI

Okay first of all, relatable, bye... something about the atmosphere of any gym, even if it were privately owned by a blonde businessman, makes it impossible for me to actually work out 😭😭 The fact that Erwin piggy-backed her back to her apartment is so cute please, I know they never quite get used to each other, but the friendship they have going on right now is so damn cute in an unconventional way, I adore it. Definitely an unexpected pair of friends and they don't... /quite/ work, but they also do. Incredible

Also not Levi coming for her, listen, not all of us are built like you, also you know damn well she's been living off of peanut butter sandwiches, OF COURSE she was gonna die after a few sit ups 🙄🙄 if you wanna help her improve, then start cheffing it up smh

#💉 anon #this kinda erwin is so cute omfg seriously #this whole au..... is so very delicious bye

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ktheist · 4 years

Text

[11:01PM]

out of the plethora alphabets that exists in this age and time, if you had to choose one to describe the nature of your relationship with min yoongi, it would be... different.

the kind of friend of a friend kind of friend but not really a friend you can hang out together without your mutual friends. you became housemates by circumstances, pushed into manifestation by a certain kim taehyung mentioning you needing to find a place to move in after your roommate graduated and you dorm life not quite feeling the same anymore without her.

it was a coincidence that seokjin was getting married and gave yoongi a one month notice to ‘get the hell out of here and find a girlfriend and move in with her already!’ - as the first comically threw his head back and spewed a few more complaints about yoongi’s being home more often than his own mother does.

‘i bet my mom has more friends than you.’ the elder man ended with a huff while the younger continued munching on his doritos without even sparing a look at the first.

it was some time into the night, that yoongi found you in park jimin’s kitchen after you offered to refill the popcorn.

“i mean, we already know each other so we’re past the polite borderline awkward phase.” was his justification when he offered for you two become housemates.

with eyes fixed on somewhere inches from your left eye, and a hand on his neck as he rubs the porcelain patch of skin - as though trying to rub off the exact awkwardness he claimed to have long evaporated.

thus began the journey for your house-hunt. almost everyday, you’d spam each other with links of the websites offering for a room or house to rent. at first, you thought he was just putting up with your text because he was obligated to respond with what he thought of the place listed.

but once you’ve decided on one and no links are longer being forwarded to each other, you found yourself receiving a text from your soon-to-be housemate. and it had absolutely nothing to do with being your housemate.

yoongi: hey

yoongi: i’m nearby your uni

yoongi: do you maybe wanna have dinner?

it was 8:57 at night and definitely way past dinner time. someone like min yoongi - you gathered from the one year and a half that you’d been acquainted to him - couldn’t have not noticed the unhealthy hour for dinner and still asked you.

but you didn’t mind.

in the midst of a deadline pressing down your throat as you shrugged on a hoodie and threw your hair up lazily, you found yourself laughing a little bit too much in that restaurant while min yoongi’s tipsily mumbles things about how jungkook keeps scamming him to pay for food just because he’s the hyung. cheeks rosy from the alcohol and eyes barely able to focus as he narrowed s it your way. lips pursed with dissatisfaction because, “yah! just you wait till you get drunk. i’mma take a pic and send it to the group!”

bottles of beers cover what little space there is on the table. your eyes turned round at his words as you pulled out your phone, “wow, smort. why didn’t i think of that?” you did, but you didn’t think you were in the position to take embarrassing photos of each other yet.

as you fixed the focus on yoongi’s then fully closed eyes and thwarted his sporadically pointing finger, you’d suppressed you own- “smileee.”

by the time you moved in, that polite borderline awkward phase was way past you.

though yoongi did swore off alcohols in the first few months, refusing to consume even a drop of it at your own housewarming - they called it that but in reality, you got ambushed by a sleepless bunch who looked like got grilled by their supervisors to the bone before coming over on that one particular friday evening.

but after the long fast got broken, you’d have wine every week, tuck yourselves under the blanket and take turns picking the movie. at first, you sat on the opposite ends of the couch with a bowl of popcorn and doritos and potato chips occupying the space in between under the guise of the convenience of not having to reach that far to get some.

on the second week of movie night, they soon found themselves on the coffee table and your feet found themselves in min yoongi’s lap, his arm draped over your ankles as he claimed a bag of doritos to himself and his free hand moving every now and then to pick up a chip and toss it into his mouth.

it was on a something-teenth week of movie night, joined by half of your friends, while yoongi was in his room, helping charge namjoon’s phone with his charger and you were in the living room, giving out a fair reminder that this may be your place but the food isn’t on it - did taehyung point out, “wait did you place the order already?”

“yeah, why?” you blinked, recounting which one out of the two stir-friend noodles, three black bean noodles, three rolls of kimbap and one portion of spicy chicken he’d want to switch out.

“we forgot about yoongi-”

“oh don’t worry, he usually goes for black bean noodles - i counted him in along with yours and jungkook’s,” you wave a dismissive hand - as though you got min yoongi’s favorite order down to the t.

you did.

and taehyung more than noticed the short but chaotic moment of jeon jungkook’s, “wait taehyung got his and this is mine,” he held up the one he picked up before realizing the extra one. “did someone’s order get mixed up?”

“no, that’s yoongi’s.”

“it’s mine.”

you both said at the same time.

perhaps, in hindsight, you should have paid attention to the stretched out silence as surprised gazes burned into your head while you handed the bowl of black bean noodle to yoongi and he took it from your grasp as though nothing was out of the ordinary.

because you learned a little too late that yoongi was impartial about black bean noodles as far as your friends who’d been his friends first, were concerned.

but you figured it was his favorite because that was what he ordered that night when you had your first dinner and the numerous future occasions when he’d order black bean noodles.

the realization belatedly hit you the night when yoongi came home with beer and two black bean noodles that, “i told you to get black bean noodles the first time we had dinner- just the two of us. and you’ve been ordering them more than half of the times we went out to eat together or order in but why did taehyung say you didn’t like them?”

yoongi shrugged, focused on the action of mixing the sauce and noodles together with the chopsticks instead of meeting your eyes, “i never liked them but i never not liked them either but you were right - they’re better with soju and i just - i kind of started to want to have black bean noodles even without soju?”

so it was because of you to some extent.

and you started becoming a reason for a plentiful of many things - like the empty spot on the couch next to yoongi which was odd because someone would have definitely taken it just because it was softer than sitting on the floor and that’d be one less sore ass.

or like when you finally graduated and he handed you a bouquet of flowers with a teddy bear in a graduating cap sitting prettily among it while your friends waited at the bar you’d promised to meet up at in the evening. it wasn’t like yoongi had a car or even knew how to drive - you’d taken the bus all the way to the bar and he helped carry your bag but refused to carry the flowers so you were walking around town with min yoongi and a bouquet tucked in your arms.

and then there was one time when you showed up at seokjin’s wedding as each other’s plus one and yoongi, standing right behind you and being a head taller than you, had no choice but to catch the bouquet before it hit his face because ‘your short arms could never’.

when you hit your first homieversary, there’d been to many ‘because of you’s to count.

and taehyung had admitted that almost everyone knew yoongi would come running to you and abandoning guys’ night out if you so much as told him you were still at the office and was working late just so he wouldn’t worry.

he still did.

and he’d come pick you up and you’d ride the last bus together.

“spill it,” taehyung had thrown a side glance at you with a knowing smirk while yoongi was off somewhere in his room, taking a call from his boss so you’re left with a paused movie and half bowl of popcorn, “you two are dating right?”

you only laugh because “we’re not - we’re really not!” when taehyung’s smirk falls into a calculative purse and his eyes narrow at you as though he’s trying to see through what he thought is a complete lie.

“i don’t know,” you shrug, a smile playing on your lips, “i get that anyone who takes a glance at us would think that but just because our friendship doesn’t match society’s standard doesn’t mean we’re more... me and yoongi’s friendship is just... different.”

#bts smut #yoongi smut #bts scenarios #yoongi scenarios #yoongi fic #bts fic #bts fanfiction #yoongi fanfiction #yoongi imagines #bts imagines #bts fluff #yoongi fluff #yoongi x reader #bts x reader #excerpt from a fic i'll never write

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missinghan · 4 years

Text

time lapse ⤖ seo changbin

❖ genre : idiots to lovers! au; long-distance relationship! au; fluff; a teeny tiny bit of angst

❖ word count : 14,9k.

�� warning : explicit language, suggestive remarks & mentions of alcohol

❖ summary : you used to see Changbin as a friend until you realized that you both don’t look at each other the way best friends are supposed to.

one.

Apparently, people like you and Changbin don’t look forward to spring breaks, ever, because you simply cannot see the point in getting pumped for the very few days of sleeping in only to dread every last moment of it. Hence, he keeps FaceTiming you every day and night with such ridiculous reasons it actually boosts your ego into thinking that he misses you.

Oh, boy were you wrong.

But this time around, he seems so flustered and burnt up all of a sudden it makes a smirk creep its way up to your lips. Seeing him in such a vulnerable state, you’re more than satisfied like a sadistic predator. You can really use some tea right now, it’s been a little boring without any dramas other than Hyunjin being dramatic over how his hair does not look good in any way, shape or form. That alone is enough for you to throw him off a cliff because since when does Hwang Hyunjin not look good?

Changbin asks. “Have you eaten?”

“Yes, I have. You’ve been asking the same question for five minutes straight.” You roll your eyes at him in the bitchiest way possible.

He questions subconsciously, only to have you narrow your eyes at him. “You have work tomorrow, right?”

“Bin, you have my schedule. Of course, I have work tomorrow.” You utter in disbelief.

“Can’t I just make up excuses to call my favorite girl?”

You make a gagging noise. “Cut the bullshit. Spill or I’m gonna whip out the big gun.”

“And what is that?” He drawls the question in boredom.

You grin at him coyly. “I’m gonna tell Chan to poison you with cilantro.” If Changbin had to choose between eating cilantro and jumping into a tank full of sharks, he’d definitely, without a second thought, sleep with those horrifying fishes with ridiculously deadly teeth. He hates cilantro with an ignited passion, and he’s entitled to that decision for the rest of his life. He’s sworn that he would never eat cilantro as long as he lives.

“Fine,” Changbin huffs in defeat as he holds his phone up while lying on his bed. “I need your help.”

You twirl the end of your hair dreamily and acknowledge his request. “I like the sound of that, go on.”

He shoots you a dirty look, proceeding to continue. “How do I get a girl to notice my feelings for her?”

His words strike through your eardrums like a lightning bolt. You don’t know whether you should be crying or laughing because 1) Changbin was never the kind of guy to be interested in having a girlfriend, he has always kept his hands to himself since forever although girls were more than ready to throw themselves at him anytime, anywhere; 2) How come he has never talked to you about this? You feel utterly betrayed because the key to having a long-distance relationship is to not hide anything from each other. And he’s doing the exact opposite of that; 3) You don’t feel as happy for him as you’re supposed to and now you feel like a horrible friend.

“Oh-my-god.” You gasp scandalously. “I’ve been waiting for this day to come my entire life! And it’s happening right in front of my eyes! It’s actually happening! Wait… did you already pop your cherries or…” When Changbin looks like he’s about to put your head on a stick, you quickly realize that you should have just focused on the topic.

He fakes a smile. “And what day is that?”

“The day that my best friend asks for relationship advice from me! To finally embrace the most amazing thing to happen in life, called ‘love’! Duh.” You prop your head onto your hand, blowing a few strands of hair out of your face. “So, who is she?”

“I don’t know if you can really help me Y/N but she’s like 5,000 miles away from me right now—“

“What did you just say?” You cut him off unintentionally. “Is she an exchange student?”

“Yeah? You can say so..” He trails off and scratches the nape of his neck sheepishly. “We met on Tinder and got to see each other later at a uni conference, and she’s really—“

You cut him off again, this time, it’s intentional. “Run, just run away.”

“Why?” He looks at you weirdly. “You’re not making any sense right now.”

You chuckle creepily, making him shudder. He’s never seen you laughing in such a dark tone it makes him wonder if you’ve been possessed or not. “Running away is actually a smart move, my friend. Just get yourself out of the war before there’s blood on those precious fingers of yours. Exchange students get all the attention. Guys or girls, doesn’t matter. Students are gonna be attracted to them like a bunch of moths to a tiny spark of flame.”

“But, but—“

You stop him before he can even say something stupid. “No but. And a long-distance relationship too? Not ideal. You can’t just slide into her DMs and ask her to be with you when you’ve only met twice. Unless her feelings aren’t necessarily not mutual. But yeah, I doubt that.”

“Whatever, I might as well just gonna fly home and watch some shitty movies with you instead.” Changbin purses his lips in boredom and runs a hand through his hair. “Do you wanna watch that zombie movie still? Zombieland right?”

You nod eagerly because gosh, after months and months, he still remembers. It’s one of those little moments which perfectly showcases how much Changbin cares about you. Because unlike some people, he actually pays attention to what you’re saying. And you would be lying if you said that those little actions of his never made your heart tingle. They do, and it sucks.

“Damn right, I’m pumped for the sequel, never really got the chance to watch it since college has been nothing but a bitch to me.”

“You’re so fucking spoiled, Beastie.” He snickers, biting back a smile. But deep down, you can clearly see right through his facade and feel the slight disappointment in his brown eyes. Exchange student or not, if it’s what makes him happy, then you fully support his decision. And if that girl ever tries to pull a dirty move on him? You’ll hunt her down and sell her off to some random mafia organization.

You laugh wholeheartedly, trying to lighten up the mood. “Listen, if you kept scrolling through Tinder, having a girlfriend wouldn’t be a problem. Because I’m pretty sure there’s not gonna be a single person who’d not swipe right.”

Changbin cocks a brow. “Why not?”

“Because you’re hot as shit!”

He groans loudly at your bold statement, cheeks tinted pink in embarrassment. “Shut up, mom.”

You smile cheekily at him. “Love you too, honey boo.”

two.

As much as you clown Changbin for using Tinder since the day he asked you for dating advice, you can’t help but think that you’re a little bit lonely without his company. Funny enough, you also found yourself scrolling through the infamous app for hours and hours until there’s a match.

The only thing that’s funnier than Changbin asking dating advice from a total fetus than you is you talking big games to him when you haven’t even got laid, not even once. So obviously, you’re so close to pissing your pants as you dread the drive to your date, tremendously.

“Since when did you even start using dating apps?” Yeji scrunches her nose in disapproval as she starts the engine. You both just finished watching ‘Dolittle’ since Robert Downey Jr. is an icon and you’re not planning on missing out on any of his movies. But that’s not the point because the point is, your roommate knows your impulsive ass too well. Meaning, she’s not letting your day end without giving you something to feel better about it. More straight forward-ly, she’s trying to lighten up your mood before your date can piss you off.

You singsong, trying to wiggle yourself out of the situation. “Since Seo Changbin asked me about a girl.” You know Yeji just as well as how she knows you, so you’re taking advantage of her carelessness to bring up a whole new topic before she can lure you into ‘the talk’.

Yeah, ‘the talk’, sounds scary enough if you’re thinking about that one awkward, intimate conversation with parents about how babies are made. You think it’s utterly useless since society is basically corrupted and kids these days are all over the place, watching porns left and right with their parents’ IDs. So having ‘the talk’ with Yeji is definitely not gonna be full of questionable statements in replacement for making love.

As far as you know, she only forces someone into ‘the talk’ with her when they suddenly have some kind of romantic interest in another human being. Upon hearing that, she’s gonna be out and about, playing the role of God and telling people all of the do-s and don’t-s along with a detailed description of how she’s gonna drag that person to the very bottom of hell if they end up breaking their heart. You’re sure as hell that you’re not ready to talk about it with her. In other words, you’re not ready for her to torment you about some boy that you haven’t even met.

“Seo Changbin, dating someone?” Yeji fakes a gasp. “Wow, tell me all about it.”

You roll your eyes at her. “So you knew?”

You don’t know why you’re even surprised anymore since Changbin tells Hyunjin everything who’d spill everything to Ryujin for their midnight gossip session who’d complain about it to Yeji later on. The cycle is fully completed before you even know it and that does not make you feel any less of a dumbass.

“Duh,” She purses her lips before making a turn at the second intersection. “Listen, just enjoy your date, I’m not gonna tease you about it until you tell me how much of an asshole that guy is.”

You sigh in relief, drowning into your seat like a jellyfish. “Thank God.”

“But,” Your roommate drawls the word for a painfully long time. “Can we just talk about how it’s such a shame? You and Changbin would make an extremely adorable couple, right? I kid you not.”

You choke on your own saliva, coughing furiously as your hand desperately tries to roll down the window for some fresh air, mainly for the heat that’s slowly creeping up on the apples of your cheeks. “Who would ship me and my best friend together? That sounds like every drama to ever exist. Ew.” Hissing at her like a snake, you repeatedly fan your face with the hope to rid off the annoying coral tint.

Yeji narrows her eyes at you and quickly diverts her attention back on the road because no one is getting pulled over on a gorgeous Saturday night, at least not her. She still has to finish the last episodes of the drama she’s been fangirling over. “So you’re telling me that you’re not jealous when Changbin told you about other girls? You’re totally, absolutely, entirely okay with him hanging out with some random chick in Italy?”

It makes your blood boil even more when she mentions the fact that yes, Changbin is having fun with someone who’s probably ten thousand times hotter than you in Europe, but you’re more pissed off at the fact that she’s always right. Of course, you’re fucking jealous, why wouldn’t you? You can’t even fathom the sheer fury that’s running through your veins. Your heart is pumping pure exasperation into your brain. Even your liver can’t filter such anger. You hate the idea of Changbin wrapping his arms around someone other than you so much you’d rather choke yourself to death than even glance at such sight.

But, for the sake of a completely normal conversation, your mouth says otherwise. “Why not? He’s not my property, I don’t get to decide who he falls in love with. Moreover, he deserves someone he truly adores. That’s not my business for all I know.”

“Liar,” Yeji smirks. “Enjoy your date all you want, Y/N. Try not to think about Changbin too much or your date’s gonna flip.”

Again, you can’t stress enough how annoying Hwang Yeji is because somehow, in which you still don’t know how, she can read your mind in a snap of a finger. So it’s no surprise for her to know that you’ve actually thought about dating your own best friend before. It sounds so cliché you might bury yourself alive if you accidentally slip one day and confess your stupid feelings for him. As if on cue, your sixth sense is currently tingling, trying to tell you that you will definitely make a fool of yourself as you try to elaborate on how you feel about Changbin.

“What did I do to deserve you?” You sneer sarcastically at her as she parks her white Rover right in front of the restaurant.

The moment you step out of her car, Yeji tosses you a look. “Don’t you dare trip on me Lee freaking Y/N, don’t even try it.”

“I’ll have Minho pick me up, now skittle outta here.” You grimace before shutting the door close. Turning on your heels, you inhale sharply and push the glass door open to enter what seems like literal hell on Earth for the next four hours or so.

three.

Being on an actual date reminds you of why you never even use dating apps in the first place.

The only part that prevents you from running away is that Yeji has his dating profile. She knows his number, his occupation, his face, and all that jazz because meeting strangers for the very first time and already eating out with them gives you every right to be paranoid. But you’re not gonna tell him that because you still respect him just fine. And in case he’s acting all sketch, you’re gonna make sure that he’s not going home in one piece.

Okay, you can’t just blame Jaemin because he’s not an asshole. He really isn’t. He’s a nice guy in general: respectful, confident, and outgoing with a good sense of humor. Respectful? Checked. Confident? Checked. Good sense of humor? Checked. Outgoing? That’s the dealbreaker right there. You don’t hate him for it, it’s just he’s too outgoing for an introverted potato like you.

Both Jaemin and Changbin have very strong personalities like every Leo should. You’re most definitely not an astrology nerd but you’re educated enough to know that Leos are dramatic, warm-hearted, passionate and impulsive.

In which, Changbin makes you laugh your ass off until you can’t even breathe whenever he’s whining about you waking him up at 9 a.m. But you gave Jaemin nothing but a scrunch of your nose when he yelped out loud as his mashed potato was too hot. And you kindly offered to finish it for him after knowing that he can’t have dairy products. Changbin’s managed to get you out of the house every weekend even when it’s a simple trip to the mall and whereas, Jaemin makes you feel more of a voiceless being when he continuously brings up one topic after another at the literal speed of light. You almost miss how you can just throw out the most random sentence without being afraid of someone judging you.

Clearly, Jaemin isn’t the one to blame here.

Admittedly, it’s just a ‘you’ problem.

And even more admittedly, it’s just because Na Jaemin is being himself, and will always be himself. He’s never gonna be, and will never be Seo Changbin.

Seriously, what’s up with Changbin taking over your mind today?

“Do you perhaps wanna watch a movie after dinner— you’re not listening to me, aren’t you?” Jaemin stops mid-sentence when he catches your dreamy expression, for the fifth time that night.

You quickly regain your composure and sigh in defeat. “Fine, you got me. Again.” Burying your face into your palms, you’re practically choking on your own frustration because you don’t wanna lash out on him just because he’s not your type. “Ugh, I’m sorry, okay? I’ve never been on a date with a stranger before. Who’d have thought talking on texts was so much easier?”

Jaemin props his head on his hand and makes eye contact with you. He breaks it after a good five seconds to catch you off guard, slowly processing his current thoughts like a lawyer in court. “Let me guess, you’re in a long-distance relationship with someone but since they’ve been away for quite some time, you got bored. So that leads to you, drum rolls, hopping on Tinder to find a one night stand.” He closes in proudly, a triumphant smirk painted on his slightly chapped lips.

For the first time after hours of dreading Minho to come and pick you up as soon as possible, you can finally let go and have a good laugh. It’s like the pressure of being on a date is gladly lifted off your shoulders and you feel like you’re just catching up with an old friend. Which is weird because Changbin— Would it kill to stop thinking about Changbin for once in your life you dumbhead?

“And how did you know that?” You smile at Jaemin, deciding to focus on him for the rest of the night so that he doesn’t think you’re disrespecting him. A date is still a date. Even when the feelings aren’t mutual, the amount of respect should be.

He slowly takes a sip of his water and chews on his steak after. “Not to be creepy but when you went to use the restroom, a notification showed up and I saw your lock screen. He looks like one of those hot SoundCloud rappers who manages to stay anonymous under their stage name even when they’re mad famous. You know, cool people making dope music without being too problematic like ‘real’ celebrities.” Jaemin says it with such admiration you’re nearly more than ready to rant about how talented of a music prodigy your best friend is. But for the sake of him being your best friend, you’re not gonna do that. Yet.

“We’re not dating, just childhood best friends.”

He wiggles his eyebrows at you with mischief laced in his brown eyes. “You have a thing for him then. Aha! I knew it! All best friends are obligated to be together, it’s an unwritten norm of the universe.” Wow, just when you thought that no one would know about your feelings for Changbin other than your annoying, chaotic friend group.

“In my defense, he was the one who set that photo as my lock screen.” You grunt under your breath but don’t even try to hide it. “I shouldn’t have swiped right.”

“Be grateful that you did.” Jaemin inhales the last bits of his dish with satisfaction, dabbing the sauce on his lips away with a napkin. “Because not only am I paying for the meal, I’d love to meet up again to hear you ramble about the boy on your phone. As friends. Also because you totally saved my lactose intolerant ass back there.” He declares loud and clear, smiling from ear to ear.

You roll your eyes at him in slight annoyance. “Fine, but I’m paying for the movie tickets.”

Jaemin extends his fist. “Frozen 2? I know a place that’s having it tonight.”

“You got it, broski.” You chuckle and bump your fist with his while your heart is yelling at you to get the fuck out of this restaurant because you’re about to suffocate yourself with the amount of painstakingly awkward silence that this place possesses.

Before you even know it, you’re walking out of the Hilton Hotel with an empty bucket of popcorn in your arms as Jaemin hogs two cups of Coke which are left with nothing but ice cubes right beside you. It’s like the whole being too cautious thing that’s been driving you insane has disintegrated into literal dust. Watching a movie with Jaemin feels like you’re babysitting your non-existent little brother while your parents are out of town and Minho is bar-hopping with the guys. Except for the fact that he gave you his hoodie because the cinema’s ACs are ridiculously cold as always. But it’s really nice, actually, because although the date didn’t turn out how you expected it to be, you did make a new friend.

That rarely happens so you’re definitely giving yourself a pat on the shoulder.

“The plot was kinda messy, don’t you think?” You ask him after tossing the bucket into a nearby trash can.

Jaemin nods in acknowledgment and swings an arm around your shoulder. “It was all over the place, I’m with you all the way. And Elsa in that purple dress too? Yikes.”

You laugh with him, continuing the conversation with much less ‘watch what you’re saying’ and more ‘actually enjoy the date for the sake of it’ until you both reach the parking lot. “Drive safe and text me when you’re home, okay?” You remind him like the bossy person that you are as you pull out your phone from your purse.

“You’re not my mom.” Jaemin snickers and his fingers hover above the tips of his keys inside his pocket. “Wait, your brother’s picking you up right?”

[9:35 p.m.]

y/n | hey, pick me up already.

meanhoe | sorry sis, I’m a bit occupied over here.

meanhoe | just call a ride home or smth.

[9:36 p.m.]

y/n | LEE MINHO ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

y/n | do you have the slightest idea about how many serial killers are lurking the streets, waiting for girls like me to fall right into their traps?

meanhoe | paranoid.

[9:37 p.m.]

meanhoe | let me tell you about how Han Jisung is taking a nap on my lap rn.

meanhoe | in graphic details.

[9:38 p.m.]

y/n | or I can just tell you about that time when mom and dad found you right next to a trash can on a sidewalk instead?

y/n | it’s a very lovely story, trust me.

[9:39 p.m.]

meanhoe | ugh, what do you want?

y/n | nothing, Jaemin will drive me home.

y/n | goodnight.

[ 9:40p.m. ]

meanhoe | hey! I can make it up to you still!

y/n | I SAID GOODNIGHT.

You toss your phone back into your purse in pure disappointment. And with a prolonged sigh, you turn to Jaemin. “He abandoned me. Can you give me a ride home?”

He cackles at the scowl on your face and gestures you towards the seat next to the shotgun window. “Hop in.”

four.

“Wow,” Minho utters. “Just wow.”

“It’s you again, why am I still surprised at this point?”

He grins coyly and slips the keys into his pocket before running a hand through his bed head. Chuckling creepily, he watches as Changbin struggles to roll both of his suitcases across the bumpy surface of your front porch. “You left my sister crying with a bucket of ice-cream for Italy. How does that feel? You know, to finally be free from her ?” Minho inquires with an amused smile. “But on a serious note, she missed you, very much so. Did you even tell her about this?

“Minho, it’s supposed to be a surprise. Do I have to translate ‘surprise’ into whatever the fuck of a language that all snakes speak in general or you’re fully capable of doing that yourself? Also, it would be so incredibly kind and generous of you to actually comprehend my messages.”

Minho chuckles and leans back against the wall comfortably. “Why not move back here then? Aren’t you done with your degree already? Or did Italy blind you with their good food and hot girls? You’re quite qualified to be my roommate.” He drags the last part. “Just wish you didn’t have to give me that attitude whenever I’m trying to start a civil conversation.”

Changbin scoffs at him, clearly uninterested. And Minho’s definition of a civil conversation just concerns him even more. “I have enough qualities to be your roommate? Let me guess, smart ?”

“Secretly a nerd.” Minho tuts.

Changbin shoots him a dirty look. “Composed?”

“I’d say indifferent and stubborn.”

“Brave enough to kill some stupid bugs for you?”

Minho rolls his eyes. “More like painstakingly reckless.”

“You literally fell off the couch when Jeongin accidentally popped a balloon with his pen.”

A smirk blooms on his lips. “But you gave him an entire lecture about why he shouldn’t bring pens to a party. Inspiring leadership.”

“Looks good in black?”

Minho looks unimpressed. “Everyone looks good in black you moron.”

“Then why the fuck are you trying to pull me into your system?!” Changbin throws his hands upwards, a frustrated groan escapes his lips. “You know I hate commitments. They give me anxiety. Especially when it involves you.” Which is not entirely correct because he did have a date last week or should have had a date last week. He was so close to pissing himself in the middle of a Michelin rated restaurant. But lucky him, his date flaked out on him before he could start having a full-on mental breakdown inside the restroom.

A glint of curiosity ignites in Minho’s orbs. “Because you absolutely have no life whatsoever.” He starts calmly, going back and forth within the limited space of the hallway. “And don’t even get me started about your love life. It’s drier than Chan’s attempt at making macarons. Oh and remind me, did your goldfish die or did you kill him? Did he die or was he killed? Or was it both?” He taunts further, and further, and further until he’s hanging on that weird borderline between having Changbin lunge at him like a predator and succeeding at luring him back to Seoul. “I’m being as kind as my mind can possibly allow without a drop of caffeine so you better take it while you’re at it.”

Changbin is fuming with nothing but pure anger. He’s so fucking close to crush every single strand of liveliness left inside of the man in front of him until he turns white like a complete ghost. But he’s also convinced that Lee Minho is just a non-biological heir of the Angel of Death. Hence, getting rid of him is impossible. “Come over here and make me.” Crossed arms, he’s determined to not leave the city without at least throwing a punch at Minho’s ridiculously perfect face.

“What are you? Four?”

Changbin stops himself from throwing hands at him and turns on his heels. “Nothing, it’s just that I don’t really like you all that much.” He makes his way to the kitchen, tossing his black beanie onto the counter.

“Yeah, me neither.”

He protests triumphantly. “See?”

“Listen up you man child,” Minho grits and walks behind him through the living room, passing by a hungover Jisung with Woojin on top of him at an unusually persistent pace that seems to cover up the bubbling anger inside his stomach. “Would you stop what you’re doing and listen to me when I’m trying to prove my own point? I’ve known you for all my life—“

Changbin interrupts him. “Those times when you passed by me at the library and made fun of me for studying for finals in high school? Doesn’t count.”

Minho hides behind a rather cheerful voice, his stare colder than an ex-wife’s fighting for custody over her child in court. “That doesn’t matter! Y/N went out with some guy last night and even let him drive her home. I don’t even know if she’s okay or not since she wouldn’t pick up for the past hour. And I just can’t let those two idiots at home alone, completely unaware of their surroundings.” Changbin shoots him a weird look and he quickly brushes it off with a click of his tongue. “Don’t ask.”

Changbin chokes on the can of Coke that he just grabbed from the fridge. “Wait, so she’s not here?”

“She moved in with Yeji months ago in an apartment near college, didn’t she tell you ?”

“No?” He raises a brow. “And what date? Who? How? Where? When?”

Changbin’s starting to panic a little bit because if you were to be on a date, you’d most likely hide in the restroom just to text him for a good five minutes. Very much like him. Anyway, he’s also quite concerned about the fact that you didn’t reply to Minho’s texts all morning. Maybe he’s overthinking again but he knows that you’ve forced yourself to be a morning person even when it’s the holiday since you don’t wanna dread bringing back your old habits when a new semester hits.

Minho drums his fingers against the dining table. “Who? Some boy called Jaemin? How? Tinder. Where? The Hilton Hotel. When? Last night until almost 10 I believe.”

Now Changbin’s fully entered panic mode because since when did you even use Tinder? And not tell him about it too? What if you’re already kidnapped and sold to some creepy people from China to make profits off your organs? “That’s it. Give me her address, I’ll go.” He drops his backpack onto the floor and grabs his coat, downing the last few drops of his beverage in a rush. As soon as Minho texts him your address, Changbin dashes straight through the front door like a tornado to the point that it has Woojin facepalming himself on Minho’s dad’s old carpet.

“My job here is done.” Minho cracks his knuckle and takes a seat at his family’s dining table, picking up his phone only to receive a text from you.

[8:23 a.m.]

y/n | ugh, is your friend gonna come over to pick up the speaker or what? it’s been fifteen minutes.

y/n | and what’s his name again? Jackson?

meanhoe | yeah, he’ll be there in ten.

meanhoe | eat a chill pill sis, I’m in charge.

five.

You frown furiously at the series of messages that you and your brother have been sending each other for the past ten minutes. Something smells fishy, and you can already see that stupid, self-indulging smirk spread across his face without him being right next to you. But then again, no one really knows what’s going on inside that disturbing glimpse of thing called ‘a brain’ inside his head because magically, and spontaneously, everything works out whenever he’s in charge.

Except when he’s in the kitchen with Jisung and Hyunjin as his cannot-be-anymore-useless vice-cooks, aka when they’re holding onto each other for dear life the moment Minho cracks an egg onto a heated pan with oil boiling along the edges.

“Ugh, Yeji! It’s supposed to be your turn to do laundry, you ass.” You repeatedly hit your roommate’s sleeping figure with a pillow, slightly mad at the fact that she’s still in bed when you’re done with grocery shopping. Sometimes you wonder if her only talent is sleeping through earthquakes. Maybe that’s how she has mad stamina and can still do a decent thirty minutes of cardio after dance practice.

Yeji mumbles nonsense into her pillow and slaps your hand away only to bury herself under the wool blanket again. It takes every strand of energy left inside of you to pull the soft fabric over her head and onto the floor it goes. “Why are you making such a fuss out of me forgetting to do laundry ?” She sits up grudgingly like a zombie digging itself up from its own grave and yawns obnoxiously.

You blink numerous times at her in disbelief. “Uhm, hello? Because I don’t have anything to wear? And also, FYI, it’s almost ten, okay? Wake up Sleeping Beauty. Prince Charming isn’t available today.”

“Shut the fuck up!” She whines loudly before dropping onto her backside in defeat. “You’ve never binge-watched any dramas before, you’d never get it.” Hey, it’s not your fault she chose to stay up until 3 a.m. for a stupid drama. You’re not gonna tolerate her complaints about migraines after having lunch, not this time.

“Besides,” She glances at you before throwing an arm over her head dramatically. “You look good in that hoodie, where did you get it?”

You grab various pieces of clothing dangling off of her bed and her beige-colored computer chair as you ponder about your life choices. “Na Jaemin, who else? God, and I need to give it back to him too.”

Yeji teases. “Are you making an excuse to meet him again?”

“We didn’t click, that’s all I have to say.” A smirk finds its way to your lips. “I basically adopted him now, so yes, I am making an excuse to meet him again because a mother has every right to see their son.”

“You’re so weird.” Your roommate purses her lips before turning her back against you.

You scroll through your feed in pure boredom. “What do you want for lunch? Wait, it’s too early for lunch, what about brunch?”

“Anything will do.” Yeji shrugs, not even trying to get out of bed when it’s already 9 a.m. So naturally, you’re already facepalming yourself at her questionable sleeping habits.

Now, where is that guy Jackson?

As if on cue, your doorbell rings. You’re dead meat to me. You roll up your sleeves and put on your ‘formally serious’ face before grabbing the tote bag right beside your couch. Without even checking who’s there through the peephole, you swing the door open in a rush. “Look, Jackson, I’m really not in the mood to invite you inside for tea nor biscuits so just take the speaker and—“

“Y/N, I don’t need a speaker, stop bombarding me with information that my brain can’t even comprehend. And who the hell is Jackson?” Changbin puts his hands up as if you’re holding him at gunpoint. And you almost laugh out loud at how he looks like he just found out Trump is president, he— wait, Changbin’s here?

You subconsciously drop the speaker without noticing that you might break something before Jackson actually gets here. “You came back?!” Your mouth automatically goes agape, utterly speechless.

“Of course, why wouldn’t I?” He chuckles when you crash yourself into his embrace as an attempt to hide your teary eyes. Meeting Changbin in person again feels like a rollercoaster full of mixed emotions, you have so many things to say but nothing comes out right. Maybe it’s best if you just keep your mouth shut for the time being.

And thank God he still smells the same and doesn’t shower himself in ridiculously expensive cologne like other guys because you’d disown him if he starts smelling like a Tommy Hilfiger store. Changbin gently wraps his arms around your waist, rocking you from side to side. “You missed me that much huh?” Suddenly tongue-tied, he’s officially lost the ability to form a proper sentence when you hold onto him so tightly, so desperately.

When you pull away, you don’t even know what to say when so many things are running through your mind at the speed of light. After all those years, he’s changed. Yes, people change. But Changbin changed, for the better. He looks impeccable even in a simple black t-shirt with a grey bomber jacket thrown over his figure. Wait, has he been hitting the gym? You swear, last time you saw him he was five times smaller. His jawline can now cut you too apparently. Years of friendship and you just found out your best friend is an actual health freak.

“As if..” You sniffle into the crook of his neck, tears continuously streaming down on your cheeks. Eventually, you give in. “Fine, I did miss you.”

Changbin laughs wholeheartedly, sending vibration throughout your entire body. “Missed you too, Beastie.” And it’s there again, that fuzzy feeling tickling the pit of your stomach. It feels wrong, and your heart knows that too well. To the point that you’re afraid of your own feelings for him, that you’d hurt him, or he’d hurt you. You just can’t decide if confessing to him is worth the risk of destroying your friendship forever. But it’s most definitely not. Maybe it’s better this way.

“Wait,” Changbin scrunches his nose and pulls away. “You smell like a guy.” Then something rings a bell inside of him. “Right, you went on a date with some cute boy without telling me? Explain yourself.”

You scratch the nape of your neck sheepishly, slightly embarrassed. “Well… long story short, I got bored and downloaded Tinder. He was cute, but not compatible.”

“There you are, what took you so long?” Yeji pops her head out of her bedroom, almost giving you a heart attack.

You toss her a look. “What do you mean ‘what took you so long? Did you know? Again ?” And she nods apologetically. “Why the fuck do I feel so left out right now? Are you guys setting me up for something sketchy? Who’s in charge?”

“Your brother, obviously.”

You step aside so that Changbin can walk into your living room before shutting the front door closed. “Zip it, he’s adopted.”

six.

Kim Woojin, as always, throws his annual ‘welcome back’ BBQ party whenever someone returns from a long trip for a fairly long time. Of course, he would never leave Changbin hanging.

Which, also means you’re obligated to accept the fact that he just single-handedly dragged you out of your apartment with the most minimal of physical effort. So now you’re stuck inside his stupid kitchen, with your siblings (no not Minho, not that heathen), potatoes. You look so incredibly alike your brother might actually be whatever with the harsh truth that you can’t stop taunting him about how he’s adopted.

Anyway, because you’ve always been terrified about the thought of accidentally having your sleeves caught on fire, Chan just shooed you back inside to work on the potato salad. And the worst part of making a potato salad? Peeling the skin. Seriously, you’d marry someone who invented an automatic potato peeler, that’d be godsend privilege.

The saying goes : ‘When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade’. Likewise, but in your case, it’s : ‘When life makes you cook, get yourself a best friend who’s good at it instead’. Problem solved. Changbin might not be as great as *snorts* Minho, but he did manage to survive multiple months in Italy without spending too much money eating out when he’s very, absolutely, entirely financially capable of doing that for the rest of his life. He appreciates home-cooked food because of the process, the time, the effort, the love that every family member (or one family member) put into the dishes. And it may not be something that’s Gordon Ramsay-approved, but gathering around at the same table gives people the chance to catch up, to communicate, to care more.

And what does that mean? Well, that means when Changbin, fortunately, makes it out of the war zone in Woojin’s backyard where Hyunjin is chasing Jisung with a dead spider between his metal tong, he finds out that he just, in fact, got himself into another disaster. Bits of potatoes’ skin is everywhere, scattered randomly from the kitchen aisle to the wooden cutting board. Bottles of mayonnaise and mustard are lying lifelessly across the dining table, saucing dripping from the opened caps. And jars of different spices look like they just got dumped into one big bucket, mixed together, and then carefully divided them evenly into each one again. Changbin is utterly alarmed right now and he can’t decide whether he should be helping you or just run away. But since it’s you, he can’t simply turn on his heels and leave because chances are, you’re gonna fucking stab him in his sleep.

“Woah, who did you kill ?” He gasps, taking slow strides toward your figure standing at the kitchen aisle.

You blow a few strands of loose hair out of your face, crying dramatically. “My sanity, it’s long gone.” You tell him as you try to stir the mixture of mayonnaise, paprika, apple cider vinegar, celery seeds, mustard, and sweet pickle relish in a stainless steel bowl with a wooden spoon, trying hard not to ruin Jaemin’s favorite hoodie. “And if you’re not planning on giving me a hand, then the exit is right that way. No one’s stopping you.”

Changbin shakes his head at you in disapproval for a hot minute before pulling your hair free from the loose bun, accidentally dousing himself in the more than familiar scent of your shampoo. Fresh, and a bit pepperminty, he missed this so much it’s starting to get creepy. Basically his heart just swells, but he’s gonna choose to be in denial like usual. “Better get your hair out of your face first.” He says and effortlessly puts your messy, black mop of hair into a high ponytail. It’s not like he hasn’t done this before because Changbin tends to play with your hair a lot while you’re both on a Netflix marathon. But this time, you didn’t know what it was, but the moment the tips of his fingers brushed past your bare skin, they sent electricity down your spine and goosebumps rose on your skin. The fact that your little heart feels like it’s running on a treadmill for hours doesn’t make it easier to deny how much he can affect you without even trying.

“Why are you still wearing that hoodie ?” Changbin points out, confused.

You answer monotonously, still mad at your roommate. “Because Yeji forgot to do laundry. So I have nothing to wear.” You hate her even more now because she’s probably gonna be out and about, going to questionable parties with Ryujin until dawn and asking for a cup of water when she gets back home on your bean bag chair. “I’m gonna have to return it to Jaemin soon.”

Changin snickers. “Yeah, you better.” He finishes chopping up the hard-boiled eggs, celery, sweet onions, and fresh dill, dropping the ingredients into the dressing that you just made.

“So,” You walk over to the dining table to grab the bowl of chopped potato. “How did your date go? Was she cute or did she look like a potential serial killer? Wait, serial killers can look cute.” You shiver at the thought of losing your best friend in some foreign country because someone can literally be kidnapped in a span of fifteen to twenty seconds. So you don’t see the point of being ashamed about always being paranoid.

Changbin helps you pour the dressing over the potato before stirring the goodness together with a wooden spoon. “Ah, that,” He scratches the nape of his neck sheepishly. “She’s okay I guess. But you never know, talking over text is always easier.”

You decide to let Changbin finish up the dish and grab some paper towels to wipe down the table and counter. “So you guys never met up ?”

He looks hesitant to tell you. “Technically, we were gonna see each other every day because of the internship but I guess no? Our schedules aren’t exactly compatible. Maybe I’ll just ask her out again when I fly back.”

You stop cleaning up the mess on the kitchen aisle and turn your attention onto your best friend. He’s nibbling on his bottom lips, guilt is evident in his eyes.

“What internship?” You ask.

seven.

Seo Changbin used to have ( and still has ) a soft spot for you. And everyone knows that all too well.

He wasn’t kidding when he said that you’re his favorite girl. He wasn’t kidding when he said that he’d take a bullet for you. But you kinda wish that he was because falling in love with your childhood best friend just sounds so wrong on so many levels altogether. Jaemin night be right, it is written in the stars for some people to fall in love with their best friend but that life is not for you. There’s just something about the idea of Changbin and you as lovers that twists an immediate knot in your stomach. Sometimes you wish he doesn’t have to be so affectionate towards you so that you can give up on the one thing that’s holding you back : false hope.

He would always drag you out of bed in the middle of the night to watch the stars and talk with him even when you guys were practically inseparable. Your group of friends constantly tells you that Changbin could never keep his hands to himself when it comes to you but realistically, he’s just a secretly clingy person who loves cuddling. But those little moments where you guys were sharing the same bed, snuggling into each other’s presence like it’s the last sense of comfort in the entire world were the ones you cherish the most. They can make you smile stupidly to yourself all day.

And Changbin never failed to surprise you too. He once made the whole fancy breakfast in bed with flowers that only happens in movies and you couldn’t stop talking about it. Even ‘till this day, you still can’t shut up about it. He only brushed it off and told you that he wanted to spoil you since it’s your birthday but you took it as something much more than just a birthday present. Because those little actions of his are what set your heart on fire and you feel like it could combust anytime if he keeps looking at you so tenderly all the time.

Changbin isn’t a man of many words because he truly believes that actions speak louder than words. At least for him, his actions are much more powerful than his words. But that doesn’t mean his words never had any kind of effect on you. Because they did, greatly. You still remember how you’d always wake him up in the middle of the night because your stupid brain cells decided to give you a mental breakdown after bottling feelings up for so long. But Changbin didn’t just scold you for keeping everything to yourself, he did something else much more magical and much more comforting than any advice you could ever have.

He’s written plenty of songs for you before, and you can still vividly hear the familiar melodies every now and then whenever you’re in a really dark place.

It felt like a tight hug when you were all alone and in distress. But what sucks is that it makes you miss him even more. Where in the world is he? What is he doing? Does he have a decent life? Moreover, is he happy? You were always worried sick about Changbin because he’s that type of guy who works his ass off for things that he’s passionate about but he’d be willing to do something else for others because he doesn’t want to hurt anyone. Hence, upon hearing about him turning down an internship just to fly back, you didn’t know what to say or think.

You yell at Changbin. “Are you out of your mind?!”

He huffs in disbelief. “I’m a fully grown man who has every right to make my own decisions so I chose to visit my friends instead of torturing myself inside a studio. Yeah, sue me!”

“Do you have any idea how many opportunities and chances that internship would bring? There’s no need for you to do that just because of us!”

Changbin points out snarkily. “Well, you were the one who decided to call me at 3 a.m. every single day, complaining about your insomnia and shit.”

You gasp scandalously. “Why are you even saying that? It’s like you don’t even know me! I’m trying to put your benefits before mine, why is it so hard to understand that? Are you trying to say that I’m the bad guy in this conversation?”

“Maybe you are,” He says through gritted teeth. “Likewise, I’m trying to put my friends first instead of locking myself up within four soundproof walls twenty-four hours a day, five days a week, until spring break is over. You are being fucking ridiculous!”

You’re slightly taken aback when Changbin had the audacity to say such things. Why is he still so fucking stubborn? “I’m the one who’s being ridiculous? Me trying to not get my best friend's talent wasted, me trying to not have my best friend make the rest of his break go wack because all we do here is apparently get drunk, eat, sleep, and repeat. That, is being ridiculous ?” You let out a humorless laugh. “Well, if I need to keep on doing that in order to keep you on track with your dream, then I fucking will.”

He hisses at you. “What are you? My mom? I’m a fully grown adult for fuck’s sake!”

“Yes, I am technically your mom since the day you threw up on my dress in kindergarten. I even wiped your puke off of your face, you ungrateful brat.”

“Uhm guys, you might wanna tone it down..” Felix tries to cool off the situation since he doesn’t really enjoy eating dinner while two people are continuously throwing daggers at each other with their eyes.

Another thing, no matter how whipped you are for Seo Changbin, there’s still this little demonic part in your heart that screams to strangle the light out of his eyes every single day. Even back then, you guys bickered like there’s no tomorrow without a care in the world. Fortunately, your problems were always quick to be resolved because you just could never bring yourself to hate him even when you wanted to. He’s just that contagious, never fails to put a smile on your face nonetheless.

So naturally, it’s ten minutes into the BBQ party in Woojin’s backyard and you’re more than ready to fight him. Metaphorically, not literally because you’re too utterly soft for him anyway.

“Shh, shh,” Minho easily shushes Felix up with his index finger over his lips. “Lix, keep it down, the Petty Olympics is just getting started.”

Jeongin purses his lips. “You’re such a snake, did you know that?” He’s obnoxiously chewing on the slices of grilled steak that Chan just took off the iron rack. Like Felix, he wishes to enjoy dinner in peace but that has not happened for quite some time and he’s already sick of it.

Minho rolls his eyes at the younger boy with nothing but disgust in his eyes. “Wow, what a truly shocking revelation, Jeongin. It’s for the irony, sarcasm is needed in order for my joke to work.” He sips on the glass of whiskey in front of him like how he simply sips on his coworkers’ complaints about their relationships every morning. “Now run along, grab your monthly paycheck and buy yourself a sense of humor.”

Jisung snickers. “Wow, is he mean today—“

You cut Jisung off unintentionally, huffing with such determination. “Don’t ever talk to me again.”

Changbin says casually. “It’s not like I want to.”

“I will break you.” You give him your best death glare.

He tips his imaginary hat with a smirk tugged on his lips. “If that’s what makes you happy, then I certainly cannot wait for it, Little Mistress.”

eight.

It’s the second time you’re hanging out with Jaemin and still, you can’t bring yourself to develop any non-platonic feelings for him. Do you really want to date him? Not really. Again, he’s not a bad guy. In fact, girls can just pass by you both walking by the Han River and they’re already eyeing him up and down like an expensive piece of steak.

Maybe it’s something about trying to push Changbin out of your mind for once in your life. Or it can be something about the fact that he actually has some kind of romantic interest in his Tinder date. Or you’re just being ridiculous and totally overthinking the situation.

It’s sad, but you’ll have to accept it sooner or later. You see Jaemin as nothing but a friend, and a little brother because he’s funny, respectful, and everything you can ask for in a guy. But, at the end of the day, he’s just not Changbin.

And although you’re madly in love with your best friend, it seems like Jaemin gets you and manages to keep your mind off of him for the day so that you don’t end up crying alone in one of the bathroom stalls. You can’t be any more thankful.

“You seriously didn’t have to watch ‘Dolittle’ twice just because of me,” Jaemin tells you as you both stand at the front door of the movies, hugging his bucket of popcorn closer to his stomach.

You smile at him. “Robert Downey Jr. is worth watching any movie twice. That’s why I’m still not over the Endgame depression phase because I may or may not watch it one too many times.”

He rolls his eyes at you and proceeds to throw his garbage away. “Crybaby.” Then, he wraps his arm around your shoulder and walks you towards the entrance. “I had fun tonight. Thanks, Y/N, it means a lot. Should I walk you home?”

“I don’t see why you shouldn’t.” You answer cheekily.

Jaemin teases, “Because your boyfriend might show up and punch me in the face?”

“Shut up! He’s not my boyfriend!”

“Woah, I didn’t even say who it was. You’re so whipped for him.”

You elbow him in the stomach, earning a low grunt from him as a response. “I shouldn’t have given you your hoodie back. I should have burnt it or something.”

He wiggles his eyebrows at you, holding onto the paper bag that you brought tightly. “No, keep it if you want to. You look good in it.”

Before you can even clap-back at him with a witty retort, your phone vibrates inside your pocket. “Sorry, someone texted me.”

[ 9:23p.m. ]

meanhoe | Y/N WHERE ARE YOU?!

meanhoe | SOMEONE BROKE INTO OUR HOUSE!

meanhoe | I’m upstairs rn, but there were some sketchy sounds earlier. I think they’re in our kitchen.

meanhoe | Bin’s still in the living room!

meanhoe | COME HOME!!

Oh. My. God.

nine.

“Changbin, pick up, pick up,” You murmur and keep pacing back and forth at your parents’ front porch, frantically fumbling with your phone in your hands. “Goddamnit just pick up!” You groan out of frustration when you can’t even open the door because it’s locked, and Changbin’s not doing a great job at responding to your calls either. Which can only mean one thing, he’s being held hostage inside along with your brother and the intruder’s probably confiscated their phones.

You’d take a bullet for Changbin if that’s the last thing you could do for him. There are no words to fathom how important he is to you, so now instead of thinking of how to save his ass, you’re stupidly, foolishly thinking back to high school where he would always eat lunch with you whenever Minho’s too caught up with practice, where you both would lie under an ugly tree at the very back of your school’s enormous backyard, trying to do homework and dozing off five minutes after. Changbin’s been with you through thicks and thins, with all of your ups and downs. His lack of doubt for you was what helped you survive those horrendous years and you’ve decided that you’re not gonna let go of him, not in this life.

Therefore, you’re about to do something dumb. That something is going to prevent your best friend from getting murdered. But the chances of getting your head blown into bits are undeniably high too. That wouldn’t matter now, would it? If the intruder dares to tick you off, he best believes that you’re gonna fucking take him down with you.

Mustering all of the courage you have left, slowly, your fingers hover over the doorknob, the other on the wooden surface, ready to bang on it like a crazy person. You inhale sharply and close your eyes. 3..2..1..

The door suddenly swings open, causing you to stagger forward and your eyes widen in panic. “Y/N? What the hell?” Changbin catches you in time and frowns furiously at your soaked figure. Your hair and clothes are doused with rain, the tips of your fingers as cold as ice from staying outside for so long. You flutter your eyes open at his words, mouth grows agape when you find out that your current position can’t be any more awkward.

Great, now what?

Wait, where’s the intruder? “Are you okay?!” You mindlessly throw yourself at him, holding onto him so tightly like he’s gonna disintegrate into thin air once you let him go. Blood is roaring inside your ears, your heart is picking up its pace as you have so many questions, so many things to say but.. he seems pretty okay? “Is Minho okay too? Where is he? Why didn’t you pick up my calls? Why was the door locked?”

Changbin pulls away softly to prevent you from hearing his heart thumping vigorously inside of his rib cage, eyes as wide as a goldfish’s. “What? Minho’s downtown today to meet up with his old friend who’s studying abroad. Didn’t he tell you?”

“No?” You knit your brows together and take a full ten seconds to process what just happened. Why do you feel like you just got played?

He closes the door and walks you inside. “And why the hell do you look like a wet rat? Did you just walk home? Weren’t that Jaemin guy supposed to drive you instead?” You purposely ignore his questions and continue to piece the little amount of information that you have together. But once you throw a glance at your parents’ living room, you see a box of fresh, piping hot Hawaiian pizza with ‘Fast and Furious’ playing on the forty-eight inches TV. With that, everything makes sense.

You ran home as fast as you possibly could, under the rain when it’s dark outside all alone and this is how your brother repays you?

“Wow,” You utter, somewhat lightheaded. “I need to sit down.” You tell Changbin when he comes back with a white fluffy, towel. He clicks his tongue in annoyance, wordlessly bringing the towel to your head as an attempt to dry off your hair. You’re startled by his sudden affection, cheeks growing pink as you avoid eye contact.

Changbin caresses your cheekbone gently as if you’re far too fragile for him to touch and you just play dumb by batting your eyelashes repeatedly to shake the droplets of rain away. He quickly snaps out of it, taken aback by his own action. “Would you care to tell me what happened before I put you on trial?” He says with his arms crossed.

Your blood slowly boils as you choke on your own exasperation.“Minho told me that someone broke into our house and basically held you hostage. So I rain-checked on Jaemin, ran home only to find you in one piece with a pizza while watching ‘Fast & Furious’.” You hide your face behind your palms in sheer embarrassment as Changbin cackles his ass off in his annoyingly adorable laughter that makes you crack up every time.

He throws his head back and continues to laugh wholeheartedly, holding onto his stomach for dear life. “He got you good, wow. So much for supporting his sister’s second date. I’m sure he just wants to make sure that you’re home before twelve.”

“HE COULD HAVE JUST PICKED ME UP HIMSELF! HELLO?” You throw your hands in the air, huffing. You swear to God, Minho’s dead meat to you tomorrow morning. Your brother knows your feelings for Changbin all too well and he’s just doing everything he can to kick Jaemin out of your love life but the irony here is Jaemin was never there in the first place. But, Minho’s an evil mad genius so he still succeeded in pushing you back to Changbin when you’re trying to avoid him the most. Props to him, you’re now stuck inside a house with your best friend because your parents are currently going on vacation in Bora Bora.

That wouldn’t be a problem unless you’re madly in love with him. But you are, and it sucks.

You exclaim, smacking Changbin’s arm, causing him to whine loudly. “Would you stop laughing? I was scared that you’re gonna get murdered!”

In a split second, he pulls you flushed against him, rocking you back and forth as he ruffles your hair. When the vibration of his chuckle emits from his chest just makes your heart skip a beat. Changbin’s never been the cheesy, romantic type like Hyunjin but sometimes he does these things that just messes up your heart more as if it’s not already all over the place.

“Come on, Beastie, go change your clothes. I wouldn’t wanna cuddle with a sick person.”

ten.

One shower and five minutes later, you’re on the sofa right beside Changbin with your head rested comfortably on his shoulder. The first episode of ‘The Umbrella Academy’ is blaring clamorously on your dad’s TV as your eyelids grow heavy, hanging on the edge of shutting before your favorite character even pops up.

Changbin notices your sleepiness and pulls the wool blanket closer to your body, high enough to cover the rest of your shoulders as you snuggle into the crook of his neck. He pouts at the box of pizza and two empty bottles of Henny before playing with your hair, braiding a small section of it in boredom. He’s definitely not the type to rewatch any shows but since you’re just so pumped for the second season, you insisted that you two should binge-watch season one all over again. Obviously, he doesn’t see the point because he already knows everything, how does rewatching it has anything to do with getting him ready for the next season? Besides, you’re already falling asleep when it’s only ten minutes into the episode.

But is Changbin gonna let you sleep in peace just like that after all those years of you waking him up at an ungodly hour? Nope.

“Hey,” He nudges you with his elbow. “They said there wouldn’t be a second season.”

You jolt up from your sleepy state, eyes shooting open in utter surprise and disappointment. “Wait what?! Why not?!” You cry out dramatically, hands batting in midair like a madwoman as if they’re looking for something to hold onto. Soon enough, you plop yourself back onto the couch in defeat, letting the alcohol take over your entire body. You can already feel it kicking in as your limbs grow lighter and so does your mind. Gosh, you just wish you weren’t so lightweight.

Changbin chuckles at you, caressing your hair softly. He pulls you closer to him by your shoulder and takes in your scent like it’s the last sense of comfort on Earth. “You’re so cute when you’re drunk, did you know that?” He studies your features closely, quickly realizing how much he must matter to you for you to show this vulnerable side to him so casually. Giddiness is an understatement for the way that his heart just beats ten times faster, the way his arms hold you close so gently but so tightly at the same time. In this cracked darkness with the insufficient source of light from the TV screen, you’re so beautiful it takes the breath right out of his lungs. You seem too serene to be true, eyes closed, lips slightly agape it makes him wonder how it feels to seal his with yours.

As if on cue, your favorite character appears on time and you swat the sleepiness away, pointing at the screen with half-open eyes. “Five! He’s so cute, can I adopt him, please?” You giggle and show him those infamous puppy eyes. Changbin can never resist it’s actually frustrating.

“Yes, you can adopt a serial killer who knows how to travel through time, absolutely.” Changbin facepalms himself. “Honestly, what do you even see in him?”

“He’s smart and funny, and a total badass. I like how he never sugarcoats things and stays true to himself. But, he also puts others before himself without expecting them to do the same thing back. His actions speak louder than his words because there are countless times where he saved his siblings although he talks to them as if he sees them as nothing more than a bunch of assholes. I admire him in so many ways although he’s just a fictional character. And you know why?” You cock your head sideways, leaning closer. “Because he kinda reminds me of you.”

Changbin tenses up at the last part. “W-What?”

The ‘sober Y/N’ would never be brave enough to tell him what you’re planning on saying next. “I love you, Bin. I know that I might not act like I give a fuck, but I genuinely care about you. You mean the world to me.” You blurt mindlessly, hiccuping into his ears. “I really do love you. I just never got the courage to say it.” You hum and toppling over his figure on top of the couch, your legs straddling his.

“We can’t.” Changbin places his index finger on your lips to stop you from decreasing the distance. “You’re not thinking straight right now.”

You pull back, frowning. “Why? Because I’m not sober? What do my feelings for you have anything to do with alcohol?” You’re not mad, but rather curious. Either way, you can’t seem to get mad at Changbin for more than ten seconds.

“I- I don’t wanna hurt you.” He stutters and stops as he sees the heartbroken look in your eyes. It hurts even more because deep down, the sober part in you knows that you’d never fathom enough courage to actually tell him how you feel. And you also know that you’ve just potentially fucked up more than ten years worth of friendship. Changbin’s warm brown eyes stare at you with nothing but pure sincerity. “It’s like I’m taking advantage of you in this kind of state. It’s not right. You don’t deserve to be treated like that.” He brushes your hair out of your face and sighs.

“Bin, you respect me like no one else does. You know it. I know it. We know it. You’re my best friend.”

“That’s the problem.” He pulls you closer while rubbing little circles on your back. “Promise me that we’ll never change, yeah?”

You wrap your hands around his neck, a tear threatening to fall from the corner of your eye. “Yeah..promise.”

“Y/N, you didn’t do anything wrong.” He reassures you as a confirmation, standing up from the couch that he’s been occupying for too long. You keep your gaze low, unable to meet his eyes as you’re ashamed of your own action. You shouldn’t have done that. What were you thinking for fuck’s sake?

Changbin turns off the TV before guiding you towards the stairs in the dark, holding onto your waist tightly enough so that you won’t slip. “Don’t blame yourself on this, okay?”

You voice quietly, almost a whisper. “Okay.”

“Come on, let’s go to bed.”

eleven.

That night, you held onto Changbin like he’s the last thing you’re ever gonna see although you knew too well that it’s meaningless. What’s the point anyways? He just slapped your confession away and that alone was enough for you to understand that he sees you as nothing more than a friend. However, it’s still better than being stuck in that weird gray area that just keeps messing with your mind. You wouldn’t want to get in his way either. So when Changbin tried to peel your hands away from his torso gently in the middle of the night, your eyes remained closed as you rolled on the other side of the bed.

When you woke up in the morning, he was already gone.

It’s like he’s never been there all of those years as if he’s just an illusion that your delusional self made up to comfort yourself when things get hard. All of his belongings were nowhere to be found, his bed in the guest room was neatly made, something that he’s never done before. Changbin left no traces, no notes, no messages, no nothing like it’s a natural implement for ‘Don’t bother looking for me, I’m not gonna come back’. But to you, it feels more like ‘You fucked up our friendship, Y/N. I will never speak to you again’.

Losing a best friend of a lifetime is way worse than going through a breakup. But it hurts more when you’ve unintentionally developed feelings for him when you know too well that it’s not right. It’s not right. And you seriously screwed up. You just hurt the one and only person that’s so incredibly close and special to your heart. Therefore, you’re distraught, unable to do anything right for some of the following days. Utterly destroyed, you can’t seem to stop blaming yourself for what happened.

Changbin’s done so much for you and you can’t be any more grateful to have him in your life. There was this time where you totally lashed out on him because you were just having a ‘bad day’. He didn’t even get mad at you, he never gets mad at you. Instead, Changbin let you lock yourself up in your room for an hour until he came back with a box of chocolate and flowers. Everything fell right back into its place again and you really don’t know what you did to deserve him. He always goes out of his way, prioritizing others’ benefits rather than his own. He doesn’t want to hurt anyone at all because, in your heart, you know that he can be hurt easily too.

So it’s no shocker that you’re madly in love with him. You like how he smiles and looks at you like you’re the only person that’s existing in this celestial sphere. You like the sound of his laughter because it reminds you of Spongebob sometimes, it’s ridiculously adorable in the best way possible. You also like how he clings onto you and lets you be the big spoon whenever he’s having a long day, you can’t stop smiling knowing that he finds comfort in your presence.

The only flaw about him is that he’s all about that healthy life, which is good for him but you’re not adapting that any time soon. And he doesn’t talk about himself enough as he’s always used to listening to others’ problems instead. He’s flawsome, but you’re willing to embrace it all. Yes, as cheesy as it sounds, you love all of him.

Just because he’s Seo Changbin.

You stay up for many days, thinking an awful amount and flashbacking to when you’re on top of him, staring at him so tenderly as those idiotic words slipped out of your lips. All of because of one single beer. You just wish you could take it all back. If so, maybe you wouldn’t have lost the person you care about the most.

“No, she won’t eat no matter what I say.” You can hear Yeji’s voice echoes from the living room as you throw an arm over your eyes. “I don’t think you should see her right now, not when she’s on the verge of breaking down every two seconds.” You don’t even have to look to know that your brother’s outside, probably worried sick about you. Minho might not be the type of person to show affections on a regular basis, but he genuinely cares about the people around him. He just doesn’t know how to express that he cares.

The front door closes with a small ‘click’, making you jolt up from your bed. Your roommate pushes the door to your bedroom open and runs a hand through her hair. She practically grimaces at the current state of your room : curtains closed, clothes scattered all over the place with you still in your PJs. It’s funny because normally, you’re the one who complains whenever she’s being messy, now Yeji has the perfect reason to pay back. “Jesus Christ,” She frowns when her hands open the beige-colored curtains. “Get yourself together, will you?”

“Leave-me-alone.” You hiss at her like a snake when the light comes flooding in, blinding your eyes in the process. “What do you want? Am I not depressed enough to be at peace?”

She shakes her head and sits down next to your reclined form on the bed, a hand finds its way to your back. “No, you’re just in denial.” Yeji pulls your figure closer, embracing you with as much sincerity that she can muster. She might as well have you scream at her for forgetting to do laundry and waking up late rather than seeing you barely alive like this. If this goes on for too long, you might end up in the ER. And she can care less about whatever you’re planning on doing next because clearly, you’re not emotionally stable enough to make your own decisions right now.

You look down. “About what?”

“About the fact that Seo Changbin likes you too.” She says softly. “Only a dumbass can’t see that he’s completely head over heels for you.”

You chuckle dryly. “He’s not, he probably hates me.”

“He never hated you, he never hates you, and he will never hate you.” Yeji sighs as you snuggle closer to her chest. “Why would you think that Changbin hates you?”

Your eyes widen in terror as the night before when he left replays in your head over and over again. The more you think about it, the more you wanna kick yourself for not controlling our own feelings. Three words and your best friend’s gone. He was right, you guys could never, you weren’t thinking straight. Even down to that moment, Changbin put you before him and treated you with nothing but respect. “Because I ruined our friendship. Things are never gonna be the same again. I shouldn’t have fallen for him, I’m so stupid.” You let out an audible groan and bury your face into your palms.

Yeji peels your hands away and forces you to look at her. “I don’t see why falling for Seo Changbin is considered stupid. You see things in him that no one else does, and you even had the courage to confess how you truly feel, even when it’s because of a bottle of Henny. Not everyone can accept that because people are cowards when it comes to commitment and their own feelings.” She keeps looking you dead in the eye as if she’s testing you. “Look, even if Changbin doesn’t feel the same way. He can never hate you.”

“And why should I believe you?”

Your roommate laughs in disbelief, shaking your shoulder forcefully. “Are you blind? Do you even hear yourself right now? Haven’t you seen the way that he looks at you, eyes sparkling like puppies and all? If that’s not love, then I don’t know what is. Even if it’s not the love that you wanted him to return, he still loves you as a friend. He just ran away because, well, he’s human too. He might need some time to himself and make up his mind.”

You stare into the distance this time, eyes empty. “True love doesn’t count if it’s not returned, don’t you agree?”

Yeji rolls her eyes at you, she looks like she’s about to personally drag your ass across the planet, straight to Italy just to make up with Changbin. “Oh-my-god, you’re impossible! Of course, it counts! So what, you’re telling me that your feelings for him after all these years would mean nothing if he doesn’t say those three words back? I know that you’re sad and angry about what happened, but I think it’s much better than bottling everything up all to yourself. You were brave for doing that, Y/N.”

Your lips stay sealed as you decide to listen to her lecture obediently like a child. “Do you think Changbin would want to see you like this? No, no one wants to see you all depressed and miserable. Do you have any idea how worried Minho is? Have you checked the notifications on your phone? It’s not like you can’t move on with life without Changbin, you can and you will if that’s what you have to do.”

“So..?”

“Are you gonna step up and get your life back again or what?”

You groan internally, because gosh, you hate it whenever she’s right.

twelve.

From then on, Changbin’s like a phantom in your life, not because he’s constantly popping out of nowhere to scare the living daylight out of you, but because he’s constantly on your mind. Everything feels a little bit emptier without him. You don’t have to worry about having cilantro in your daily meals because he’s not there to complain about it. And there’s no longer a random cup of chai tea in the fridge on Sunday mornings because he can’t buy you one anymore.

But at the same time, everything reminds you of him. Like how his pairs of designer shoes aren’t laying around at your front door, how his favorite hoodies aren’t being forgotten at your place intentionally, and how the Stitch stuffed animal he gave you last year still reeks off his significant scent. Everything gives you a hard time to finally let him go, but ultimately, you know that you’ll pull through. And you did.

You move on with a college degree waiting for you at the end of this dark, bumpy road. Changbin, on the other hand, you can’t say much because his SoundCloud account is currently empty. He deleted every single song, every mixtape, every demo possible as if he’s trying to wipe his existence out of your life completely. Which makes it more difficult for you to muster up some courage and reach out to him again.

It’s almost a year, and you wish he could have just given you a sign about whether he’s fine with being friends or not. But as always, leaving notes is definitely not his department. The thing is, you feel like you both didn’t just grow apart. You also grew up.

“Y/N, did you ask me to go to the movies just because you didn’t feel like studying for finals?” Jaemin nudges you with his elbow and you smack his arms in return. Okay, technically you did grow up but old habits die hard, and you’re still procrastinating. Nothing new, but the occasional non-dates with Jaemin somehow helped with the aching part in your heart. You can’t say that he’s your new best friend because gosh, no one could ever replace Changbin. But ever since you found out that you guys go to the same college, you kept running into him on campus. Hence, hanging out with him is practically unavoidable.

You laugh, letting him swing an arm around your shoulders. “Nope, it’s because I love hanging out with you.”

“Does that naturally imply as you love me?” He grins coyly before approaching your car at the very end of the parking lot. You’ve talked about this before. ‘Love’ is an overstatement for the love that you have for Jaemin. Of course, you love him, just not in a romantic way and he accepts that. Although he does sometimes pull you in as a stunt just to get a discount for buying a couples’ combo. You let him, only because you’re both broke college students who are dreading your own student’s loans.

“Sure, I just love you so much I can’t even bring myself to say it without doing this.” You slowly feed his ego and your right hand quickly grabs the right side of his ears, dragging him into the driver’s seat of your car. Jaemin stops wincing once you let him go, pouting when you enter through the back door. “Serves you right.” You scoff, throwing him the key to start the engine.

He rubs his now swollen, red ear in pain, whining out loud like a kid that’s not allowed to buy popcorn when their parents bring them to the movie theatre. “This is domestic violence, I’m suing.” He complains but still hits the gas and starts backing out of the overpacked parking lot. People go wild during the weekends. That’s why you’re letting him drive because you suck.

You smile satisfactorily. “Ah, enslaved child labor at its finest.” If looks could kill, Minho would probably find your corpse in the car, limbs spread wide open because Jaemin is occasionally tossing you dirty looks through the rear-view mirror as he finds a way to hide a body while driving towards your neighborhood.

When you get home, you politely offer Jaemin to stay for dinner but he said he’s got a date to catch up with so you just let him be. Yeji isn’t gonna be home until nine because of her shift at the café so you basically have the whole apartment to yourself until your roommate returns from work.

Exhausted from spending all day on campus and going to the movies after, you quickly get rid of your long coat and plop yourself onto the couch. You waste absolutely no time and automatically hang yourself upside down on the cushioned surface while scrolling through your feed in boredom. You like to change up your position every ten minutes so that you feel less like a potato while your blood circulation isn’t gonna get blocked anywhere.

The moment you’re about to accept a video call from Jisung, you’re interrupted with a rather strange notification. You decide to text him, saying that you’re busy with a presentation and open the email from an unknown email. The email doesn’t have any specific title and you don’t think it belongs to any of your classmates. However, there’s a file attached to it which makes you even more confused. Who’d send a random video to someone they don’t even know? What if this is some kind of trick that people use for human trafficking? Like once you tap on it, there’s an automatic tracker on your phone and soon enough, you’ll go missing.

“for_you.mp4”

It makes your heart skip a beat as realization hits you like a truck. Deep down, you know, you know who it belongs to and you’re even more terrified to watch it. But you have to, you have to watch it. With a sharp inhale, your index finger trembles until it comes in contact with your screen, opening the file.

“Is this thing on?”

You immediately burst into tears as soon as Changbin appears. You’re stupidly, foolishly crying as he awkwardly adjusts the camera angle, checking himself in the monitor and runs a hand through his hair. Changbin’s wearing that one fitted black t-shirt that he probably bought in big bulks, warm brown eyes peeking through his messy bangs. He’s never looked better to the point that you’re tongue-tied, unable to scream even when you have so many questions, so many things to say. Yet only tears come streaming down your face. You missed him dearly, and here he is finally.

“Y/N?” Changbin quirks a brow and smiles. God, you missed his smile too. “If you’re watching this video, don’t..post it on social media. It’s gonna be a real tearjerker.”

You chuckle, wiping your tears away with the sleeves of your hoodie. He didn’t change, at all. “I don’t know if you can still forgive me for what I’ve done, but I still owe you an apology. I’m sorry for running away. I’m sorry for hurting your feelings. I’m sorry for not treating you right. It’s just when you said that you loved me, it sparked so much skepticism inside my head that even I couldn’t understand what I was thinking. Next thing I know, I was out the door, straight to the airport. I was an asshole and I know that. I hope you’re taking good care of yourself right now because you did nothing wrong. In fact, there’s something that I’ve been wanting to tell you too. I can’t seem to be complete without you. You’re it. You’re my endgame.”

When Changbin takes in a deep breath, so do you. You nervously scratch onto the black nail polish that’s starting to chip off on your pinkie, waiting for him as he fiddles with his fingers. Suddenly, he looks straight into the camera and laughs. “Why are you still here? You didn’t see the notification, did you?”

What notification?

Your trains of thoughts are once again canceled when your phone buzzes. You’ve just got a notification from an app that you barely touched since Changbin left. “SpearB just posted a new track. Check it out!”

“Neverending Story ( Demo ).”

Faster than a tick of the clock, you start playing the track, fingers drumming impatiently on one of your throw pillows. “Be mine, yeah?” His raspy voice sounds ten thousand times more attractive because it’s been a while since you’ve heard it and chills run up your spine. Adrenaline is pumping through your veins, your heart hanging on the verge of exploding. The soft instrumental blends in with the piano in the background perfectly, drowning out every other sound in the entire world. But what throws you off is that Changbin starts singing. It’s the first time you’ve ever heard him sing and it’s truly breathtaking that you can do nothing more than sitting there with a hand over your mouth, letting the melody guide your mind.

“Whenever you smile, whenever you struggle

I'll always protect you

For you,

I can even go against time

Just to appear in front of you

I believe, I believe

Even if the world changes

Can you promise that we won't?”

The first verse bleeds into the pre-chorus, then the chorus itself and Changbin starts rapping, spilling the feelings that he’s been struggling with saying out for you. Every word, every sound, every note hits differently and you feel like you’re already on cloud nine, drifting off into a daze. You can fully acknowledge and feel the ignited passion that he has for you even when he’s more than five thousand miles away, on the other side of the planet. But that’s all you need honestly because what more can you ask for?

As if on cue, the song ends and there’s a knock at your door.

Heat rushes up the bridge of your nose as you wobble towards the front door, head still slightly lightheaded from the mixture of emotions. You quickly fix your hair, straightening your hoodie and your toes curl from the nervousness. The moment you twist the doorknob, Changbin backs you up against the wall, shutting the door with his feet. He stares you down intensely, making you feel extremely small in comparison. But those eyes of his are filled with nothing but adoration for you and only you. “I’m in love with you, the same way that you meant it back then. I’ve been in love with you for even God doesn’t know how long. I booked a plane ticket and wrote the song as soon as that thought clicked in me. You’re all that I need. I want you to be my one and only. And I still want you back, so what do you say?”

Your lips curl upwards softly into a smile. “You’re really outdoing yourself, aren’t you? I confessed to you when I was drunk and not only did you film a video, but you also wrote a song for me?”

“Only for you, Beastie.” Changbin chuckles and pulls you closer, sealing the gap between your lips. He’s done it, he did what he’s been wanting to for his entire life : to know what being in love actually feels like. His kiss isn’t even somewhere near as those movie stars’ that you both used to make fun of every weekend. It’s one that steeped into a passion that flickers at the very pit of your stomach, one that makes you feel like home, like he’s your safe place. Changbin’s said everything that he wanted but he kisses you as a silent promise that he will do stupid things just to be with you, to have you right by his side for the rest of his life.

He’s the first to pull away, resting his forehead against yours as you both exchange shallow breaths. Smiling at you, Changbin can’t help himself but peppers small kisses all over your face from your forehead to the tip of your nose.

Life likes to toss you around and fuck you up sometimes but somehow, magically it always puts everything back in its place. The amount of tears that you’ve shed feels like payment for what you’re holding in your arms right now but there’s nothing that you won’t do to be here, in his embrace. Technically, Changbin didn’t have to say those three words back and he only did because he could, not because he needed to.

Even if he’s five thousand miles away, no one else is closer to your heart than he is. He loves you with all of the madness in his soul.

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cursed-dreamss · 4 years

Text

the color of eden & dream ; a short story

an original short story by raven ryans

Love is - as countless other book characters would say - just a chemical reaction. But with Eden and me it’s more than just testosterone and estrogen. Addyson Peoria and Aron Rucynzski might disagree - but I say love is connection. Love is hope and holding on to one another. Love is finding the right people, people that make your heart sing. Love is understanding, comradery, and protectiveness. Love is communication - love is long talks and held hands. Love is messy and - and love is bold.

*** “Edes, we have lives. School, work, roommates, aspirations, lives”

“I know.”

“We can’t just stay out here forever”

“I know”

“Do you?”

“No”

***

“Edes, what happened to us? We used to be so perfect. Everything used to be so easy”

“We did. It did.”

“So what happened? You - you disappeared, Edes. Where did you go?”

“Where did I go?”

“Where did you go.” “A place I hope you never have to see.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Hush, Dream. Listen to the birds. Hush. ”

***

A star. A wish. I wish for everything to go back to the way it used to be. Eden and me; unstoppable. Eden and me; laughing. Eden and me; best friends. Eden and me; kissing. Eden and me; trusting. Eden and me. Eden and me.

*** Things can never go back the way it used to be. The old Eden is dead - she died years and years ago, the moment everything went to hell. Now all that’s left is this shell; fragments of the girl I used to be. I used to smile. I used to laugh. I used to enjoy life, God I used to enjoy life. I used to love; I used to be capable of love. I used to be confident; I used to be sweet, like honey, and yet tart like the first apple off the tree - some people’s favorite type of apple, others’ least favorite. Then reality caught up. Now I don’t smile, I don’t laugh, I don’t enjoy life. I don’t love, I'm not confident, I'm not sweet. I'm rotten, like the core of an apple when you leave it out too long. Nobody’s favorite type of apple. Not even Dream’s. *** “Green is the color of the grass where I used to read-”

“No, that song is depressing.”

“HEY!”

“It is. Just the truth, Dream.”

“I know a place we could goooo”

“Also depressing”

“I know a place where there aren’t any roaaaads”

“Why does this song fit us so well?” “Where the grass is always greener”

“Green is our color”

“And doesn’t scratch your fingers”

“Well no that would just be tragic”

“I know a place” *** Eden called me. After a week of barely talking. She called me. She said I know a place we could go. I laughed. Eden knew - Eden knows - how much I love that song. No one has been there no one will know. So we left - we grabbed some edibles and left. Didn’t tell our friends. Didn’t tell anyone. Just - left. The most impulsive thing I’ve seen Eden do since high school. She was almost herself again. Almost. *** Green. Grass. Trees. Dream’s favorite sweater. The one I used to wear.

Green. Leaves. The Spotify app icon. John Green.

Green. Money. Chartreuse. What is chartreuse?

Green. Mint gum. Kale smoothies. Emeralds.

Green. Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince. Best cover. Green. The house I grew up in.

Green. Dream and I. *** “I still love you.”

“What?”

“I just wanted you to know that.”

“Oh, well, thanks, D.”

“Your welcome”

“Dream?”

“Yeah?”

“I -”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t know if I can love anyone.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, that’s okay. I have enough love for both of us.” *** Dream is perfect. Everything I want, everything I need. I just wish I could love Dream as much as I used to. I loved Dream like the moon loves the sun - always and forever. But maybe always isn’t forever.

*** I am blue. Cold water, icy cliffs, deep and mysterious. Dream is yellow. Bright smiles, sunflowers, open and loving.

Put us together - we are green. Fresh leaves, rustling trees, rooted and wonderful. *** “FRUCK ITS RAINING”

“WOAH I HADN’T NOTICED” “RUN RUN RUN RUN”

“WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M DOING, EDEN??”

“STANDING THERE CACKLING AND SCREECHING THAT YOU’RE A STORM GODDESS” “BUT I'M RUNNING NOW”

“RUN FASTER”

***

“What happens now, Edes?”

“I dont know.”

“We’ll be fine. We got this.”

“Do we have to go back to uni?”

“We’re running out of food, so probably.”

“I don't want to, D. I want to stay here, with you, forever.”

“I used to believe in forever, but now I think forever is too short.”

“Dream Winston Grace-Riley, did you just quote Winnie The Pooh to me?”

“Eden Christine Verena, did you just catch my quoting of darling Pooh?”

“Shut up.”

“Love you too.” *** I thought Eden loved me. All this time - I thought she loved me. I still think she does, deep down. She just doesn’t know it. If she didn’t love me, why would she call me and run away deep into the woods with me? Unless Eden’s secretly an ax murderer who has a liking for theater nerds named Dream, she loves me. I don’t know how to help her realize that though. I don’t know how to help her at all. *** Dream looks at me in a way that only Dream can. With love, with tenderness, with an overwhelming amount of adoration. All I’ve ever given Dream in return was bullshit - except for the beginning. We were so free. Full of love for each other; for ourselves; for the world. Now I’m held down by the binds of society - by the binds of the Verena’s - by the binds of my own mind. Now I’m full of hate - for myself, for the world, but never for Dream.

*** I laugh. She looks at me sadly, the ghost of a thousand laughs lost on her quiet lips. I hush. She takes my hand. I blush. Six years, I still blush. She tells me she doesn’t know anything. I tell her that’s okay, that we can figure it out together. She says she doesn’t know if she can do that. I’m silent. ***

“Dream?”

“Yeah?”

“I would be nothing without you. Don’t leave me.”

“Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere.”

***

“If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would it be?”

“My happy place.”

“Where’s that?”

“With you, Eden. With you.” *** Eden. She’s a lot. She’s brave and compassionate and caring and practical and unique and beautiful and perfect. And best of all, she’s mine. *** “How do you still believe in magic? After everything that has happened to us - to me - how do you still believe that there’s magic?”

“I don’t, not all the time.”

“What makes you remember to believe it?”

“You. Every time I look at you, I’m a little girl again - sure that there is magic in this world.” *** Love declarations. Sweet letters. Lingering kisses. Passion. Freedom. Happiness. Turned into . . .

Unsaid adoration. Not-so-awkward silence. Distant hugs. Unknown. Lingering sadness. Shadows.

*** “I don’t wanna lose - I don’t wanna lose this with you.”

“I don’t either, Dream darling.” “Then hold on to me, Eden. Hold on to me.”

“I am.”

*** If you don’t want to lose this then try and put a little effort into this goddamn relationship. I want to scream at Eden. But I don’t. I don’t i dont’ i never do - I can't I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t.

*** We should leave soon. Dream has roommates ; I have work. Dream has school ; I have work. Dream has theatre ; I have work. Dream has a life; I have work. *** “When are we going back?”

“You make it sound so ominous, D.”

“I mean, it kinda is.”

“I don’t know - we should go back - er - you should go back.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow.” *** Our last night together. Ever? ***

Ever. *** I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to leave this perfect safe haven in this deep dark forest of just me and Eden. My problems checked themselves at the door the moment she called me, but I know hers came with us. Hers follow us everywhere, relentless phantoms haunting her day and night. I see them in the morning - shadows lurking just over her shoulder, forcing her to shrink under the pressure. I see them at night - floating over the moon blocking the moonlight from landing on her beautiful face. I see them everywhere. I can only imagine what it’s like for poor Eden. *** Poor Eden.

Whatever happened to poor Eden?

Some say my mom died. Poor Eden’s mother, passed away when she was only 14. Poor Eden. Some say my dad left. Did you hear? Poor Eden’s father left her and Ceelio. Poor Eden. Some say I died. Poor Mr. and Mrs. Verena - their only daughter. Dead. Poor Eden, she was so young. Some say I disappeared, never to be seen from again. Where did Eden Verena go? Nobody knows. She’s gone. Poor Eden. They are all true, and yet all false at the same time. My mother died - and yet she is still alive. My father left - and yet he is still around. I died - and yet I am still alive. I disappeared - and yet I am here, with Dream, deep in this forest. *** The morning I left was crisp, bright, birds singing, sun shining. It matched my mood. It did not match Eden’s. *** “So. We’re leaving today, Edes.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“What’s going to happen to us?”

“I don’t know. You have a life - you tell me.”

“You have a life too, Edes.”

“Oh really?”

“Me. You have me, Eden Christine Verena.”

“I do.” *** Dream’s leaving. I am not. *** “Look! Its civilization! Edes, oh my gosh look look look it's a TOW TRUCK!”

“It is indeed, D. Good observation.”

“Come onnnn lets gooooo we have to get back to campus!”

“You go on, I want a minute just me and the forest.”

“Okayyy. I’ll meet you down at the gas station, okay?”

*** I never met her down at the gas station. She never came. I waited and waited - for nearly four hours. I told myself she had gotten lost, I told myself she had fallen asleep, I told myself she cared. I ran back into the forest. I searched and searched. I could not find her. Eden Verena was simply gone. *** Eden Verena had been gone for years, but no one had noticed. Every day I bled a little more until the cut that always bleeds had no blood left to spill. Until I had no blood left to spill. Then I disappeared for real - forever. *** I never let her go completely. Every day I go down to the gas station and wait for Eden - Eden Eden Eden, my one true love, my source of happiness, my everything. She never comes. *** Dream has to let me go. I know Dream will - eventually. I will fade away until I’m nothing but a distant memory. Oh, Eden? Ha yeah, just an ex of mine. But Dream will never fade away to me. Dream is always - Dream is forever. Even if I’m not. *** My happy place. I told her she was my happy place. I told her I loved her, that I was there for her, that I was hers. I told her over and over again. I didn’t tell her enough. I didn’t do enough. I could have saved her - but no. I tried - I tried, I tried I tried but I didn’t try hard enough. *** Nothing Dream did or said could have saved me. I was too far gone. *** I will love Eden Verena till the end of my days, even if she didn’t love me until the end of hers. *** Goodbye, Dream. I should have said goodbye a long time ago. But I’m saying it now. Goodbye. I - I love you. I loved you. *** All things green die at some point. Grass, trees, leaves, Eden and Dream. They all die at some point - and maybe some point is now.

#raven ryans #ravenryanswrites #the color of eden and dream #original story #drabble #short story #realistic fiction #romance #love #gay #eden verena #dream grace-riley #raven atarah's writing adventures #[ short story ]

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crimson-snowfall · 4 years

Note

Hello ! I absolutely love your headcanons, so when I saw your askbox was open I jumped in. I wanted to Ask a headcanon for the ikevamp suitors (if you can't do all of them I really love Mozart, Napoléon, Vincent and Arthur... But I must admit that if you could do all of them it would be fantastic :)) ) with a MC with an eating disorder ? Because this was not really common during their Time and I Wonder how they would react ? Thank you so much and continue with the good work !)

Hey there sorry for the wait, I tried to do all characters but I’m simply running out of time (there are still 7 requests after this and I might close my ask box once uni starts again), so I did 8 of them… which is 2/3 of them all so I hope that’s fine with you too.

A little disclaimer, this topic kinda scared me at first because gone are the days of the internet where people don’t get offended by literally anything. Anyway MC’s eating disorder here is nothing too extreme, she just eats way too little to the point that the suitors can’t help but worry over how unhealthy it is sometimes.

Ikevamp HC request: Reacting to MC with eating disorder (Napoleon, Leo, Arthur, Vincent, Theo, Isaac, Dazai, Comte)

Napoleon

Napoleon is notably bewildered since he has ruled an empire in a time where famine is still a common occurrence. He asked you if famine occurs as often in the modern world, to which you reply that it doesn’t.

He genuinely wonders what could’ve brought about such condition in a time where food is abundant, so he turns to Sebastian for further enlightenment and advice.

As soon as Napoleon gained a deeper understanding about your condition and how certain standards from the society you came from might’ve had brought it about, he wrote down a list, which includes his favorite dishes, as well as the particularly scrumptious foreign dishes he had tasted in his human life.

Napoleon makes good use of his culinary talent, and uses your curiosity over the variety of dishes you’ve never seen in your life as a motivation to discover more recipes so he can keep on feeding you new things and keep you healthy.

Leo

At some point in his life, Leo was a vegetarian, so he knew what it’s like to have people questioning your choices in food. Thus, it comes naturally that he out of all the residents in the mansion would understand you the most.

However, he acknowledges the fact that you’re eating way too less than you should, so he has found a way to subtly make sure you’re still getting enough nutrients from what little you eat.

Leo has put his genius mind into work by extracting essential nutrients from natural ingredients and somehow converted them into spices. He has discretely asked Sebastian to put them in your meals. The rich taste enhanced your appetite and improved your preference for certain meals.

Arthur

Upon hearing about your condition, Arthur takes it as a challenge to keep you healthy without overstepping your boundaries, and without you realizing that he’s began to give you some special treatment.

Your dates became more often and Arthur has kept a watchful eye on you every time you eat, rigorously taking a mental note on your eating habits and compiling this data so he can better deduce what foods you prefer from the rest.

Once Arthur has completed this period of initial observation, he immediately puts his plan into action. Every other day, Arthur would bring you breakfast in bed, where he would serve you the dishes he figured you like the most.

At first his cooking is average, but as he continued observing you, in several months he managed to perfect the array of meals that gives you a well-balanced diet.

Vincent

Vincent grew very concerned upon learning about your condition and tries to find out more about it. In fact, he’s become so pre-occupied with the thought as to what food you may like that he subconsciously ended up painting a lot of portraits of food.

The food in his paintings looked insanely mouthwatering to you, and you ended up having cravings for those foods. Once Vincent had realized this, he asked Sebastian for the list of dishes that would be served for the next few days, and painted them.

Your appetite has considerably improved in the following days and overtime has gradually approached satisfactory levels of normal food intake. Thankfully, Theo doesn’t seem to mind his brother had developed a habit of painting food every other day.

Theo

One time, you fainted from eating so little, which earned you a severe scolding from Theo. The two of you got into a heated argument, and it is only when you explained to Theo about your condition did he calm down.

Theo apologized to you the next day, but told you that you can’t keep doing that to yourself and he will definitely figure out a way to keep the incident of you fainting from happening again.

Theo doesn’t want to be forceful about it, so he takes it slowly but surely. One day he told you that he believes that “Food becomes more enjoyable when you share it with your loved ones,” and asked you if you would like to eat his pancakes with him.

With his method, you eventually acquired his addiction for pancakes, but Theo knows you need more than pancakes to stay healthy. That’s how Theo began making his own pancakes for you with secret ingredients he researched himself that will provide you with all your other basic nutritional needs.

Isaac

As a vampire with an unusual condition that gives him an extraordinary appetite, Isaac can relate to you one way or another.

Isaac thinks of your condition in a similar way he thinks of his, that you have no control over it and thus you can expect him to be the last person who’s going to tell you that it’s your choice to be like that.

However, Isaac still feels bad for you because on the other hand, he has you to satisfy his hunger. So he thought that the least he could do for you is to give you something in return for always sating his hunger.

It surprised you when Isaac suddenly got into cooking. While the meals he prepares for you certainly does end up tasting strange, you just can’t have enough of his cooking after seeing him put in the effort and the embarrassed expression he makes when he asks if you if it even tastes edible.

Dazai

Dazai listens attentively to you as you explain your condition to him. He looked like his usual whimsical self as he offered you some words of comfort about it.

Unbeknownst to you, Dazai was already coming up with an idea on how he could possibly help you with your condition as you told him about it.

Every now and then, you would find a neatly wrapped box of bento on your bed. Being stuck in 19th century France, you couldn’t help but miss Japanese food so you end up having a feast to yourself every time this happens. Not to mention how ridiculously good the dishes taste.

Dazai skillfully dodges any confrontation about it but that unmistakable genuine smile of contentment you rarely see on his face afterwards confirms your suspicions. You’re curious whether Dazai prepares these dishes himself, but knowing that he goes to such lengths to keep you healthy deeply warms your heart.

Comte

Comte’s expression didn’t show it, but he was a bit horrified to hear about your eating disorder (mainly because he feels like he can’t spoil you that much on your fancy dates with him). The next time the door to the modern time opened, he didn’t return for at least three days.

In the time that he spent in the modern world, Comte got in touch with a team of health and diet experts and sought advice on how to deal with your condition. Of course, he hasn’t told you about this.

The changes were not abrupt, so you didn’t notice how the meals being prepared for you changed in variety and nature overtime, but whatever it is, it was doing a good job of promoting your appetite.

You also noticed new dishes in the menu of the fancy restaurants he often takes you to, which reminds you of the unique assortment of ingredients in the meals you usually have in the mansion.

Next HC request will be up in a few hours or so because I got busy with enrollment yesterday and couldn’t post one for yesterday, thanks for being patient with me~

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mxrcayong · 4 years

Text

oh sehun - collegeboyfriend!au blurb

lmao this is my first blurb ever so sorry if it’s shit

- late grocery runs!! he would always run out of food and/or get snacky after dance society practices.

- he’d always put random shit in your basket - eitther things he’d want or things that would make you laugh

- cup noodle and sojju dates!! you’d just sit in the pantry or wherever and watch whatever k-drama is new or just talk about bullshit

- picking you up for uni! he would be living in the dorm ages away so he’d take the train all the way to your dorm, wait outside the building (or if it’s the one security guy who liked him, would wait outside your door), and bring you to class

- unless he had a 9am and you don’t (or vise versa)

- then he picks you up for lunch at the café place nearby

- study dates!! you’d award each other with kisses or small dares. your favorite dare for sehun would be ‘show me how much you love me in an interpretative dance’

- saving up for events and activities like escape rooms

- skin care sundays!! one sunday each month is reserved for face masks and movies

- you don’t ever have to worry about him liking other girls bc he’s sososo affectionate

- he’s constantly holding your hand or wrapping his arms from behind you

- sometimes, if you guys share any tedious activities or events, he’d lean his head to your shoulder and whisper complaints, snarky comments, or sassy comments into your ear

- but when he loves a lecture or a class, you see his eyebrows furrow with concentration. his eyes never once leave the slides and he writes all his notes down in a messy, but in the same but odd way beautiful way in his notebook

- student discount dates!! you would do the weirdest and most thrifty things - from vintage clothe shopping or watching any discounted movies at midnight -- even if the movie has gotten 1/100 on rotten tomatoes

- running errands together and teaching each other simple chores - you teach sehun how to cook, sehun teaches you the basics of fashion / mixing things together, you teach him how to do laundry, he teaches you about how to take care of your skin and how to get motivated

- you’d sneak into his dorm all the time

- or vice versa

- he abosolutely hates sleeping alone

- he’d want to cuddle you

- you’d share the single bed and squish in together

- sehun’s legs literally fall off the bed

- but he’d wrap them around you in an embrace

- he’d tell you how much he loves you and talks about whatever is on his mind

- you’d talk about how your days went, about plans for the next day, about the newest celebrity drama, about a weirdly shaped rock outside

- if you ever fight, sehun made you promise you’d never go to bed angry

- so even if the fight goes unresolved, you two pinky promise to deal with it tomorrow and still sleep in the same bed

- he’d cuddle into you more than usual

- and the smell of his cologne would remind you everything would be okay

- but for real, sehun would give you a silent treatment

- so like, when he cuddles into you, it acts as a reminder that he loves you and that the silence he’s giving you is not reflective of how he thinks of you

- sometimes he’d leave passive aggressive notes on sticky notes

- hm, i wonder what it’s like to actually listen to someone’s feedback for once... it’s totally not like it’d be helpful at all! :)

- good morning texts if one of you have to leave the bed early for class

- texting each other after your last class to meet up

- going to libraries together and studying while sharing the same earbuds

- if you get stressed, sehun would do goofy faces to make you laugh or talk about things he’d want to do with you when the work is done to give you motivation

- sometimes you both go to the library, even if one of you don’t have work for moral support

- ...and distractions

- legit one of you would end up doing a proper lip-sync performance while the other studies

- sometimes the other would fall asleep on each other’s shoulders

- you two would go to the gym together -- even if you don’t work out

- most of the time in the gym anyway, you guys just play stupid versions / very unathletic versions of team sports with the exo boys

- you and the exo boys would have a tradition of arcades, karaoke, and koreaan BBQ after exams or “hell weeks”

- the boys make fun of sehun for being “whipped”

- he doesn’t help himself by hiding his face in the crook of your nneck

- he’s both the most affectionate and most conservative person you’d ever meet

- he’s also both so shy and so loud

- he’s the best contradiction there is because he can be the most annoying person in the room but the one person in the world who could make you smile in no time

- he knows how to get college stress off your mind

- and he encourages you to do the best you can

- he knows he likes to distract you, but he knows when you shouldn’t be distracted

- if he notices you’ve been studying all day and haven’t eaten, he brings you your favorite cup noodle or fast food or whatever he can find to your room

- if you’re in the library and can’t eat, he forces you out

- sometimes he’d text you reminders to take care of yourself or for simple things

- you’d respond jokingly saying “dont forget to breath” in a snarky-stressed way

- but lets be real, when he’s sick or not taking care of himself, he can either be the most mature/quiet person about it or the biggest baby

- you’d basically coddle him when he’s sick because he’s a big baby

- but as a result, whenever your sick, he showers you in compliments for being “so strong” and would bring whatever he thinks you need

- he’d also be the boyfriend who’d buy you tampons if you really need it wo shame

- he’d proudly parade you around during pub crawls and events - like your relationship would no way be secret, everyone would know

- if he’s drunk, all he looks for is you

- if he’s sober, he talks about your accomplishments and acts like you just won the nobel peace prize

- he’d pick you up from every major assesment, and vice versa

- basically i want a college sehun in my life

#exo blurb #exo imagines #exo #exo imagine #oh sehun imagine #oh sehun imagines #oh sehun #sehun imagines #sehun imagine #sehun blurbs #oh sehun blurbs #oh sehun blurb #sehun blurb #exo blurbs #blurbs #kpop blurbs #kpop blurb

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imma-sucker-for-a-beard · 4 years

Text

>WHAT IS IT ABOUT BEARDS<

I finished the post and posted it on my blog, and sat there drinking my water, smiling to myself. I found my phone and found Chris’ number and texted him. ~Hi Daddy. Long time no see. I miss talking to you… and so much more. *Winking at you*~ I sent the text and a couple minutes later my phone started ringing and the caller ID said ‘Daddy Evans’ I smirked thinking to myself. It is going to be a long night and a loving sensitive beard burn in the morning. Taking the phone and spoke in a low lustful voice. “Hi daddy. I’ve missed you”. Character Paring: Chris Evans x Female Reader

Word Count: 2388

Warnings: Few swear words, slight smut, beard kink.

Requested by: @sweater-daddiesdumbdork - I would love a story where the reader appreciates the beard. Can be soft or smutty. Both, it’s up to you. And for one of the actors on your board. – I hope it lives up to what you were looking for. Love you always. <3

A/N: I wanted to try something different and write it sort of like an article or blog, mix with personal (Female Reader’s POV) experiences. So let’s see how it goes. Before starting this story I did a little research to see what the real picture is when it comes to the view on beards. For the article Read here, actually an interesting read. J Constructive feedback is always welcomed. To @ajs-playroom-you-may-enter, thank you for your quick read through. Love you always. <3

NOTE: This story will be written as a Blog post with flashbacks, there will be switched between them. It will be clearly shown: Blog will be written in block quote, and Flashback with the title “Flashback”. ~Text message~. Mentions of: Tom Hardy, Henry Cavill, Jason Momoa, Jamie Dornan.

Summary: your two friends are named Tris and Jess. Tris is a single, 33 years old that works as a gallery. Jess is a married, 35 years old woman that works part time as a hairdresser. Then there’s you. Single, your own age, a freelance blogger and your own personal real life job, if you have one. You, the female reader start thinking about what a beard means to society in general and to women. You think about your own experience and you start looking at some of your favorite men.

What is it about Beards???

Hi Lovelies, sorry for my absence. Life happened – you all know how it is. Anywho… I hope you all have been enjoy life and are in good health.

I want to share something with you all and hope you will leave your comments below, because I’m really curious about what you think. Now that all the formalities are done let’s start.

I was sitting with a couple of my girlfriends, (for the sake of their privacy I will give them other names), Tris she’s single like me, and Jess is married. We had started talking about men and beards and what it was about them that made them so damn sexy. Tris loves a good beard and Jess finds them gross and wouldn’t want her man to ever grow one. Personally I don’t understand why, but that’s her and her husband’s business. This got me thinking.

>>>WHAT IS IT ABOUT BEARDS<<<

When you think about it beards are a weird thing. It’s hair growing out of a man’s face. Then you look at it like that is can be kind of disgusting. Hair around a man’s mouth just the thought of it sound highly unhygienic. If a Woman finds a hair on her face that is out of place, she pulls it immediately, eye-brows aren’t supposed to be too thin or too wide, heaven forbid there’s hair between your brows at the risk of a uni-brow. The slightest hint of too long hair around a woman’s mouth and its gone, women almost franticly study their faces in the mirror every day to find and remove unwanted hair – But men – That’s a whole different story. A study shows that out of 2500 women over 60% of them prefer men with beards. That’s a high number. I have to be honest with you I’m among those 60% because COME ON – Beards are fucking sexy.. Pardon my French.

Sitting here writing an entry for my blog, I start thinking about what experiences I’ve had with men with beards vs. those without. There was a world of difference.

Flashback: It was back in late summer 2007, I was at a festival north of Boston with a couple of friends, Jess being one of them.. We had decided that everything was possible that week, since we were leaving after that week. The second evening we had been drinking heavily. Jess had seen a handful of guys standing to one side and nudged me. “Y/N, LOOK!” I had looked at the men. “Yeah? What about them?” I had asked until one of the men moved and I saw him. “Holy Fuck!! That’s Harvard Hottie!” Jess had nudged me several more times, first stopping when I nudged back harder. “HEY! WATCH IT!” she had exclaimed saving her drink. She had said it just loud enough for the men to look our way. I was looking straight into the eyes of Chris fucking Evans I thought I was going to faint. Quickly making my escape I went to get a drink. Waiting for the drink and when the bartender had pushed the drink to me and said what I had to pay, I watched a $20 bill slip over the counter. “I got this one.. I’ll have a beer as well, thanks” I didn’t need to see who it was. I knew that voice anywhere. “Hi. I’m Chris.” I had looked at him with the straw in my mouth and smiled accidently drooling when I spoke wetting my tank top. “I kno… Shit!!!” jumping back only spilling more of my drink over me. I had quickly put the drink down and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, and pulled my tank out and away from my body turning beet red. Chris chuckled lightly but was quick on his hands and had pulled a lot of paper towels and acted on instinct and stuffed them down my top. “I hate when that happens” he had joked and we both laughed. Stepping away from me he had ordered a new drink. I had not been wearing any bra under my top and of very conscious of the fact that my breasts were visible through the fabric. “Here, let me help you” Chris had offered and we walked behind the trailer bar. He had shrugged his flannel of in his half drunken state. “You need something dry to wear” I had looked at him like I had seen a ghost. “You’re letting my wear your flannel!” “Yeah! We can’t have you getting sick.” I had just been standing there. “But… You’re Chris Evans!” He had laughed. “I know and you’re Y/N, or so I was told. Turn around.” I had done as he asked and had felt him move up behind me as he moved his hands to your waist grabbing the hem to pull my top off. His beard was tickling my skin and he made me giggle when he had sniffed my neck. “Mmm. Pineapple smells good on you.!” He had said pulling my top over my head. Dropping it to the ground and taken his flannel and wrapped it around me and buttoned it while resting his chin close to my neck. “I’m wondering if you taste like pineapple as well.” I had been just drunk enough to look at him on my shoulder. “Only one way to find out!” and he had taken the bait. I had turned around and stepped closer to him and cupped his face when he had wrapped his arms around my waist. Our lips found each other and we kissed softly at first, the kiss became deeper and more urgent. His beard scratching my lips and chin, our tongues meeting and we gave in to the pleasure of the moment.

I traced my lips remember the buzzing feeling that kiss had giving me.

Then we look at the different types of beards, there’s a wide range. The mustache with a whole range of look, then the Goatee with a few different looks as will. The five o’clock shadow aka THE SCRUFF now we’re getting somewhere. To run one’s hands, cheek or even lips over the scruff. The sensation of the scruff or a beard over one’s skin is to me one of the best feelings in the world. That was one of the things I talked with Tris and Jess about. Tris agreed completely whereas Jess made a face of disgust. Personally I think she doesn’t know what she’s missing. – But that’s just my personal opinion. What do you think? Let me know in the comments.

Flashback: After Chris and I shared that moment behind the bar trailer. Chris has picked up my tank and we went back together to the others and the moment Jess saw that I was wearing his flannel. She hooked her arm in mine and pulled me a little to the side. “Y/N what’s up with this picture?” I had chuckled and explained to the best of my drunken abilities, what had happened and she had laughed so hard that Chris and one of his friends looked over as us and Chris had given me a questioned looks, if everything was okay and I had given him a smile and a nod making him relax. Jess and I came back to the guys. One of the guys had moved up behind Jess and wrapped his arms around her waist and she had let him. (This was now her husband).

That night Jess had gone with the guy and that was the beginning of their long relationship. I had been standing alone watching one of the performers when Chris had come up to me and rested his head on my shoulder and I had rested my head against his. “Are you okay?” I had asked him and he had lifted his head again and sighed. “I’ve lost my sleeping arrangement!” I had looked at him completely lost. “Huh?” He gave his well-known chuckle. “Yes! I lost it…. To your friend! And since she took my spot it’s only fair that I take her spot.” Winking awkwardly at me and I giggled. “You’re cute. Who am I to deny you a place to sleep? Besides you’ll need your flannel back in the morning!” He flashed a smiled. “Nah you can keep it. But I’ll still need a place to sleep!” We had made our way to the tent, and when we had passed the tent where Chris was supposed to be sleeping it was clear by the sound of it that Jess was having the time of her life. Chris and I laughed as we made our way to my tent.

Inside the tent we got comfortable and talked for a while before Chris took a chance and leaned in kissing me softly at first, and slowly the kiss became deeper and more urgent. I pulled him down with me, Chris laying half on top of me. Chris ran his hands over my body and under my shirt and I gasped feeling his warm hand against my skin. I ran my hand over his body and caught the hem of his shirt and pulled it up and he helped getting it off. And my shirt followed suit soon we were both laying naked and Chris was kissing down me body his beard adding to the sensation. The moment he reached my mount I yelped and he giggled adding a teasing lick. I was about to sit up when he pushed me back down and positioned himself between my legs kissing up me inner thigh again his beard added to the pleasure. He had looked up at me from under his lashes as he had placed a kiss on my vulva before parting my labia in a long slow lick making me moan aloud. “Aaaaarh”. My moaning only coaxing him more. He had wrapped my legs over his shoulders as he had hungrily started to eat me out with licks, nibbles, sucking and biting, until I had begun trying to push him away but ended up with me grabbing a hold of the covers, screaming out my release, shaking uncontrollably as he prolonged my climax, topping it off with another climax.

Just remembering the sensation that I had that night, the beard burn had affected me for days made my squeeze my thighs together. And Chris had kept it burning deliciously, the burning also being added to my lips, neck, breasts, inner thighs. God I missed that.

I read that a man’s facial hair signals masculinity. And I couldn’t agree more… I also read that there’s somewhat of a hidden message in the length of a man’s beard. Stubs/Scruffs are for flings and a beard means relationship meaning the man is ready for commitment. I never thought of it having so much meaning, simply the length of it. That’s in my opinion pretty damn awesome. But I’m still and bit sceptic about it. Because some men prefer to have it at a max length and some men looks better with a specific length. Or is that just me? Let me know your thoughts.

Another I read is that women become even more turned on by beards what we are ovulating. Our biological urges lusts for the masculine man. Our primal cave woman has urges and hungers for the primal masculine hair cave man to claim us and breed us. Uuuh I get shivers just thinking about it. LOL... Am I the only one? Oh, and I personally love a man that has a perfect hairy chest..

Another thing is that apparently bearded men are supposedly better fathers as well, because they are better at sticking around to protect and invest time in their offspring. *points to what I wrote about stubs and beards* I’m not sure what I personally think about this, because there’s so many aspect that’s a part of this. Social environment, Family background and so much more not just the length of beards!

I’ve found a few handsome men that are in the public eye. Tom Hardy a.k.a James Delaney or Venom and Mr. Bad boy with a heart of gold, Chris Evans a.k.a Captain America, Ransom and My forever crush and Boo <3, Jason Momoa a.k.a Aquaman or Conan or Liquid God. lol , Henry Cavill a.k.a Superman or Geralt of Rivia and buns of steel. LMAO. Jamie Dornan a.k.a Christian Grey or The Huntsman or Mr. twitchy palm. ;)

When we look at these men, they all look handsome, no matter what but they have a preferred look. Tom, Jamie and Chris prefer to have a beard and preferably the length as in the pictures and personally I won’t object. Jason told in an interview that his wife told him that if his ever shaved his beard again (bottom picture), then she would divorce him, he did it for charity but he also said that he felt naked. He truly looks the best with his trimmed caveman beard. Now Mr. Cavill. Looks amazing with a trimmed beard or a scruff. But he himself prefer to be clean shaven, not because he has a problem with his beard he just prefers it easy. Then he makes up for it with a nice hairy chest. But we’ll reserve that for another time. LOL

I personally love a man with a well-trimmed full beard and that beard burn you can get from it… Whoa YES PLEASE!!! I’d like to know what you think of a beard so please feel free to leave your thought in the comments.

Till next time. Remember, Be your beautiful selves, be kind – even when no one’s watching. And be brave. Take care lovelies. Much love. XOXO Y/N.

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idk-loving-kpop · 5 years

Photo

FYI SUPER LONG POST! You have be warn, but still show it some love. okay!

OKAY!!! Super excited!!! Cause 1 this is the LAST ONE I have before I open my ships again. 2 I LOVE doing my “triple threats” with BTS. Okay cause after Super Junior, BTS is my bias group (no thanks to my friend who ask me to go to their concert, literally I went to their concert & became a fan of them because I saw them live.)

This person sent me the request via messaging ... She requested Selca, Written & Astrology.

When people request all 3 ships this is how I do them.

1st : Selca - To me easiest ones you can do. I base it on looks & vibe.

2nd: Written - How person describes his/herself looks & personalities. The more details the better. JUST DON’T START WRITING YOUR AUTOBIOGRAPHY. *lol*

3rd: Astrology - This take me the longest to do because especially if I have to compare DOB. And I have to check astrology signs for the members, which at this point I have some memorized, but some I don’t.

----------------------------- LET US BEGIN -----------------------------

DOB: DAY/MONTH/YEAR

I'm 5'4, slim thick/hourglass figure (a uk size 8 but my breast are +DD and my waist is 24 inches so it gets hidden by my boobs a lot which is honestly kind of annoying), I have brown eyes, and naturally dark brown hair buts its bleached platinum blonde and its shoulder length.

I am a ambivert. I can be outgoing when a want but its usually around people i'm comfortable around or familiar surroundings. but I can also be quite withdrawn and shy especially around someone I like. I have social anxiety which makes me a lot more quiet around new people or in situations which involve public speaking (I even start shaking because my anxiety levels spike so high). I love music and am always singing. I can't dance but I really love dancing and at one point wanted to be a dancer but I never really got a chance to take any lessons or anything so...yeah. I'm a creative person so I enjoy art such as drawing and painting when I feel motivated to. I love love love reading my favourite book is probably The hobbit by Tolkien. tbh i'm interested in anything that tickles my fancy. I'm a huge nerd! Anime, memes, vines, manga, video games I love it all. My fave video games are interactive ones like Tomb Raider, Outlast, Uncharted, Dead Space, etc. I'm studying History and Archaeology at Uni and museums are my second home. Although I am quite soft spoken and kind hearted (I literally cry if something on tv is heart-warming or sad like if a dad and his son have a heart to heart and hug or something) BUT I am also outspoken. My BS meter is low so if someone is chatting shit about something i don't agree with such a racism. sexism, homophobia, xenophobia, men staring or harassing women or girl, etc I have to say something. I just can't sit there and let it be. I am quite outdoorsy I love working out, running, martial arts, football, etc. I grew up going football club and taking karate and MMA so I've always been pretty active. also lowkey i'm a huge tree-hugger (literally and mentally) I once bumped into a tree and hugged it and said sorry....I studied Geography in High school and sixth form so i'm very passionate about the environment, animals, etc. P.S. I LOOOVE ANIMALS mainly cats overall I am a huge sucker for animals. I'm also a older sibling so i'm quite protective of the ones I love and literally would do anything for them or to protect them. I have insomnia so i'm a night owl but I've always been like that I usually only sleep for about 4-5 hours and i'm good to go. I love having deep conversations late at night with my sister, thinking about trippy things like what the meaning of life is and if aliens exist or if planet of the apes actually happened and what would we do? I also really enjoy movies; mainly horror movies even though they scare the shit out of me, I still watch them. Also i'm all about girls supporting girls. Girl power all the way. I also south Asian so desi culture is also very important and very prominent in the way I behave. I usually speak a mixture of Urdu and English in my sentences as opposed to just speaking one language at a time. I really love languages so i'm also learning Korean and i'm studying latin at Uni. i think that's all.....i'm pretty sure i left something out but it feels like I've been typing for years so i'm going to stop now...soz if this is a lot. also i wrote this as fast as i can so i apologise for the spelling and grammar mistakes

Damn ... I didn’t know how much you wrote until I copied & pasted on the post . *lol* ... It didn’t seem that long when I was reading it. Ok, so I put in bold stuff that stood out to me ok.

FYI shout to all the girls w/ big boob problems ... I have the same issue it is really annoying. I joke w/ my friend all the time that I would give her half of my boobs / body fat cause she is skinny a flat . *lmao*

I can’t help myself so I will make some comments ... I am the same way, I can’t sing or dance (even though I am Latina) but I do it anyways because ever sine I was little I love music & boy groups. So I will keep on doing me. I have a great work environment that we do that at work sometimes too. I’m not a talented in the arts what so ever. But I have always loved and appreciated them.

That is so interesting that you are studying that in Uni. History has always been my favorite subject, quiet a nerd when it comes to almost got a perfect score on my state test when I was in school (fyi I hated school but I liked learning). Not many people study that in Uni/College.

The tree incident made me laugh so much ... Again your not alone cause I sure do have a picture when I was on a high school trip of me hugging a tree. *lmao*

The meaning of life, is different for everyone. We can’t have functioning society without everyone doing their own part. Everyone life means something, no life is great than another life.

Aliens do exist. Our universe is so big for just the human race to exist. Also I grew up watching Star Trek and I like watching Doctor Who.

If planets of the apes happen I would die.

When I read “girl power” literally said it like Spice Girls with the peace sign & everything …

Okay I will shut up now & get to the ships …

Western Sign: Pisces Eastern Sign: Tiger “Ideal” Partners for Pisces: Cancer and Scorpio “Ideal” Partners for Tiger: Horse and Dog

BTS Selca – JHope (Aquarius / Dog)

BTS Written – RM (Virgo / Dog)

BTS Astrology – Suga (Pisces / Rooster)

Western – Suga

Eastern – RM & Jhope

Comparing DOB Suga matched better, followed by Hobi a close second and then Namjoon.

Shout out to V who came in 2nd place on my Selca & Written.

Stray Kids Selca – Hyunjin (Pisces / Dragon)

Stray Kids Written – Lee Know (Scorpio / Tiger)

Stray Kids Astrology – Lee Know (Scorpio / Tiger)

Western – Lee Know & Hyunjin

Eastern – Lee Know

And NO I didn’t plan it like this it sort of just happen. And yea it is a lil freaky that Astrology ships kinda had the answers to Selca & Written … For Stray Kids couldn’t find much of their personality or ideal type so I kinda based it on hobbies more than anything. Probably has the years go by & they do more interviews and stuff, I can better match them with people.

Hope you like your results.

And let me know what y’all think!

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selenecrown · 6 years

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Fandom Tag! It's been a while since I have been tagged, huh?

Hey guys! I got tagged! Yay! I was tagged by @thehuggamugcafe ! Thank you so much!

Rules: Pick 3 (I'm going to do 4 because I feel like it) random fandoms you are in, and answers some questions about them! Then tag some people you want to get to know better!

The fandoms picked were:

- Persona 5. (Huh. Cool.)

- Hyperdimension Neptunia (I know you guys have many questions about this.)

- Durarara!! (I wasn't expecting this. Okay, I can roll with it!)

- Diabolik Lovers (Interesting! Okay, I'm cool with it.)

Question 1: Favorite Character?

- P5 - Ren/Akira, as you can tell for my blog being surrounded by him. But, the other Phantom Thieves of Hearts have a place in my heart too. They may as well have stolen it.

- HDN - Vert! She's my favorite CPU. I also like Nepgear and Uni as well as Rom and Ram. In other words, the CPU Candiates, but the Oracles are cool in my opinion, too!

- DR!!! - Mikado, Anri, Kida, The Orihara Family, Celty, Shinra, Shizuo. Basically most of the main cast. Durarara!!! was a very good anime in my opinon.

- DL - Yui, The Mukami Brothers, Subaru and Shu. All for very different reasons, but the Mukami brothers are still a favorite family of mine to this day (even though It's not in my tag system that I need to finish up!).

Question 2: Any Expected Favorite Characters?

- P5 - For one, Mishima and Shiho were a big one, also if I am being honest most of the Akira/Ren's Confidants. Namely the Phantom Thieves.

- HDN - Uni and Ram. I thought their personalities would make them somewhat unlikable in my opinion. But Nope! I got used to it after a while.

- DR!!! - Izaya, Shinra, and Shizuo. At first, I thought I wouldn't like any of them because of how the series portrays them as adults with problems who sometimes will lend a hand if asked, but later on with much backstory later I was able to appreciate them as characters.

- DL - Honestly? Kou and Yuma. I also thought that I might not like them too much since Kou is two faced and Yuma has a temper. But, it kinda just didn't bother me after some time.

Question 3: Most Relatable Character to You?

- P5 - Ann, mainly because in real life I do some modeling for a family friend that I'm not too dedicated to, I am indecisive at times but still really good at talking and negotiating with people, I am a huge sucker for sweets, I have had and/or still have friends with issues on sensitive topics and I have had many people I know move away, and most of all, I too have had bad people in my life I didn't push away that really dragged me down until I realized my situation.

- HDN - Neptune! Because I too want to be lazy and not be responsible and everyone seems to underestimate me and my abilities until I get off my lazy butt and be productive. Also, when the time comes, I can be responsible and take charge and I am a good person if you get past my lazy self. I just don't do it often enough for people to respect me.

- DR!!! - Kida. Kida is filled with many problems in his life and even though he is probably depressed and probably has PTSD (from what I get from some situations or that's what I think in some scenes through out the series), he still cares very deeply for his friends and just wants them to be okay. He doesn't care too much for himself, he cares for his friends so much he would die just to save them from themselves. Kida, while I can't relate to being in a gang or having PTSD, I can relate to him because of his depression and his loyalty to his friends that I have, too.

- DL - Um, this is a hard one for me. Let's go with Kou. Not because I am two-faced, but because I do feel like sometimes I am two-faced. I act very differently to each person I know and it can feel like I'm not being as honest as I could be with one person as I am with another. Sometimes I have to fake a smile because of what exactly I am hiding from them. Most of the time I hide jealously, insecurities, and my true feelings about how I think about them. My kind nature won't let me tell them how I feel until I have gotten over it and have let go of those feelings. And sometimes, I lie and can't admit I have problems because I don't want others involved because of what might happen. In essence, I can't admit my true feelings unless it goes through a filter. And it is a filter that I can't really change, until I have gotten comfortable with a person enough to let my filter break.

I maybe over emphasizing a very common thing like depression or how most people feel sometimes relationships are, but it's something about myself I want to acknowledge and learn to deal with.

Question 4: Characters You Would Slap If Given The Chance?

- P5 - All the Villians minus Akechi. Seriously, FUDGE them. They are cruel people who really don't need to be in society. Also, Mika from Ann's Confidant. Fudge her. I dislike with a passion.

- HDN - This is a hard one. Um, well, I guess I will go with Noire. She is a tsundere, but she doesn't treat her sister too well compared to others like Neptune and Blanc. I personally like Noire, but at times it seems like Noire isn't really being fair to her sister. Which for me, is kinda sad. Other than that, I would probably slap most of the bad guys in the series minus Arfoire because she is funny most of the time. But, I would slap her too.

- DR!!! - Izaya is a big one, since he is the villain of the series, but at times I did want to slap Shinra, and the Raira Trio because literally most of how much in the whole series could have been prevented if they sat down, beat the crap out of Izaya, and talked their problems out.

- DL - Kino is a big one. But I would slap most of the boys because they aren't the best of people to Yui. Also most of the adults in the series, too.

Question 5: List Your Three Favorite Characters, Go!

- P5 - Akira/Ren, Ann, and Futuba.

- HDN - Vert, Nepgear, and Uni.

- DR!!! - Mikado, Anri and Kida.

- DL - Yui, Subaru and Ruki.

Question 6: Any Characters That Grew on You?

- P5 - Most of the confidants did that to me, and so did most if the Phantom Thieves. But if you are asking for one particular person, Goro Akechi. Through my first run hrough of the game, I didn't like him. I had this feeling he wasn't a hero but not a compete villain either. To find, I was right. But the backstory didn't really get to me until the second playthrough. Then, pretty much after the TV station I liked him a little more. Then, he kept growing on me until he had grown on me enough I liked as much as any other Phantom Thief. Goro still holds a place in my heart next to all the other Phantom Thieves of Hearts.

- HDN - Noire. At first, I saw she was kinda a butt to everyone. That is, until I took a step back and realized she was a Tsundere and was the leader of a country. Of course she was uptight and sometimes had a stick up her butt. She kinda had sometimes to get things done. After that, I respected her more as a character and a CPU.

- DR!!! - Simon was a big one. Shinra was one too. And the Van Gang! I love those guys. Saki is in second place, holy crap you guys remember that if you are going to start this series. But the biggest one to me was Shizuo. I thought he just was not really a good person, but then I realized Izaya was kinda a jerk, and got the backstory behind the two's relationship and was like, hey, Izaya's an asshole. No wonder Shizuo wanted to beat the living shit out of him. And the backstory of Shizuo's past also got me, and now he's a favorite of mine.

- DL - Yui. At first, I didn't like her because of how she was presented at first. And the fandom didn't help that, either. But, when I actually went back and looked at Yui's actions, I realized I probably would have done those same things too. And not long after, a lot of Yui Appreciation Posts came out that ponited out a lot of things about her I didn't know. So, I like her a lot more now!

Question 7: Three OTPs, Go!

- P5 - AkiraxLove and Appreciation from the seriesxRyuji, GoroxFreedom and Love, and AnnxCrepes.

- HDN - Vert + a sister of her own, Unix More Love from Her Sister, and PlutiaxSleep.

- DR!!! - The Raira TrioxLove and Support from One Another, IzayaxAny Trashcan, and The Van GangxMore Love and Support from the Fandom.

- DL - YuixBeing a Badass, AzusaxEating more food, and YumaxHis Garden.

[Sorry guys I have no ships, but I do have these crack ships I support a lot.]

Tags: Well, I can't think of anybody right now. But hey, if you want to do it, go ahead! This was pretty fun for me.

#personal crap #Get tagged!#persona 5 #Hyperdimension Neptunia #durarara #Diabolik Lovers #This was a shorter writing time then most of my fanfics hahahahaha.#It it was fun nonetheless.

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surveysonfleek · 6 years

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504.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 25

2401. Does love come from the brain, the heart or elsewhere? scientifically, the brain. 2402. Have you ever given a shot? like vaccination? yes. 2403. Can you lick your elbow? nope. 2404. If i was going to be talking to you for 10 minutes, what would be something really intersting you know a little bit about but would like to know more?? the arts i guess. 2405. If today was a holiday, what would it be? a day were everyone gets to call in sick for work and enjoy themselves lol.

2406. If you were making a mix tape what would you HAVE to have one it? the weeknd. 2407. What do you think of the Sopranos? never watched it. 2408. Can you name three good things about the society you live in? every generally follows rules, respectful, everything ‘works’. How about three bad things? the minority of people who was ignorant, racist, rude etc. 2409. Have you ever had a crush on your teacher? nope. How about your boss? no. 2410. What is the difference between acting like someone in high school and acting like an adult? i guess most teens wouldn’t have the same responsibilities as an adult would have. 2411. What is the differance between a whopper and a whopper jr? the whopper jr is slightly smaller duh. 2413. Do you like: Moby? Run DMC? the Cure? Shakira? Blink182? the Pet Shop Boys? Weezer? Red Hot Chilli Peppers? Nick cave? The Pixies? KRS-One? The Juice Crew? not a huge fan of any of these artists. 2414. Have you ever seen a movie in 3D? yes. 2415. How difficult do you think it is for immigrants to come into your country? it is extremelyyyyy difficult now and it doesn’t matter where you’re from. it’s crazy. How difficult is it for them to become citizens? yes. 2416. Do you have what it takes to go live in another country, maybe for years, where you don't speak the language as your first language? probably not. it would take a lot of work and preparation. 2418. Have you ever died in your dreams? yeah i feel like i have. 2419. Do you like Douglas Adams? Kurt Vonnegut? Tom Robbins? Philip K Dick? Orson Scott Card? 2420. What clothing size are you? 12. 2421. Does science leave room for faith? idk. Does faith leave room for science? idk. 2422. What book should our political leaders read and why? not sure. i haven’t read anything good in awhile. 2423. Why and under what circumstances are people more likely to buy brand names rather then their generic counterparts? some people are just loyal to some brands while other rely on paying more for quality. 2424. What is your favorite glass object? a cup. 2425. Do you like to window shop? not really. 2426. Have you ever loved someone so much it just turned to hate? no. 2427. What is arrogance? check the dictionary. 2428. Are you more liberal or conservative? liberal. 2429. When there is a presidential election in the USA why do we never hear anything about the third party candidtes? Do you even know who they were last time? i don’t live in usa. 2430. Are you more likely to buy one really nice expensive outfit or a couple of cheap outfits? a couple cheap outfits. 2431. If you could, would you wear everything once, throw it out and buy something new? no. 2432. Do you believe that people have a responsiblity to be: good to other people? good at their job? helpful to the earth(not litter, recycle)? aware consumers(not buy animal tested products, not buy products that were made in sweatshops, etc)? non-wasteful (not spend their money frivolously when they could save it to help others)? charitable (donating money, volunteering)? yes to all. Which of the above are you? i’m generally good to other people, good at my job and non wasteful. i need to work on the rest. 2433. How do you feel about the internet? for the most part it’s great. convenient, entertaining and educational at times. Should there be laws and censorship on the internet? yes of course. 2434. Can you think of any questions that aren't already on this survey? no. 2435. Does sleep seem like a little death to you? no lol. 2436. Have you ever seen(and if yes, what did you think of): Joy Ride? Ghost World? Monsters Inc? yeah, it’s a classic. Queen of the Damned? Office Space? 2437. At what age did you find out that Santa Claus wasn't real? about 5-6? 2438. How many pairs of shoes do have in your closet?: maybe 15. Do you like to wear the same shoes everyday or do you like a variety?: i rotate between the same five. 2439. How many lovers have you had? one. 2440. Have you ever had surgery? For what? no. 2441. What puts you in the mood for sex? just the lead up to it i guess. 2442. Have you ever been on alcohol or drugs while at school or work? no. 2443. What do you think of Martha Stewart? i don’t really have an opinion. but i did enjoy her show with snoop dogg. 2445. What do you think of: British people? Australians? Americans? Canadians? Mexicans? French people? Germans? i could totally answer this section but i don’t wna come off as stereotyping these nationalities. 2446. What do you do to cure the hiccups? i haven’t had hiccups in years. 2447. What is the FIRST thing you do when you come home from school or work? get changed. 2448. Are you a slob? sometimes. 2449. Do you have a good work ethic? generally, yeah. 2450. Are you a pack-rat? nope. 2451. Do you roll your eyes alot? not that i’ve noticed. 2452. Do you prefer b-sides or remixes? b sides. 2453. What makes the world go 'round? love. 2454. Is Blink182 punk or pop? both. 2455. Do you remember Fat Albert? yes. 2456. Do you take things slowly, as they come? sometimes. 2457. Are you laid back or tense? more tense i think. 2458. Are you insecure? sometimes. 2459. Imagine you are working in a soup kitchen. You are supposed to give each person on the line a half a cup of soup. When hungry people come up to you do you just end up emptying the cabinets for them? i would tell them to come back for seconds so everyone in the line can have an equal share first. 2460. Why can't we give ourselves one more chance? we can. Why can't we all just get along? idk. 2461. What bands do you want to see live that you have never seen? idk. 2462. Do you like raunchy songs (like that lick ny neck, lick my back, lick my pussy, lick my crack song)? hahaha that’s probably the only raunchy blunt song i enjoy. 2463. Do you think that the Beatles are still the Beatles without John Lennon? never really a fan so i can’t comment. Would you want to see the Sex Pistols without Sid Vicious? no. Did you think that the members of Nirvana were smart to reform as the Foo Fighters instead of trying to stay Nirvana after Kurt's death? sure. 2464. Do you like the band Squeeze? never heard of them. 2465. When you are angry or upset do you know you're being irrational but you can't really stop? yep. 2466. Is there room in your life for one more trip to the moon? nah. 2467. Where are they now: Your first best friend in elementary school? no idea. your first crush? married to someone i went to uni with. your first boy/girlfriend? i’m still with him. your first love? ^ your first lover? ^ 2468. Do you have a lot of self pity? kinda. 2469. have you ever had something really good come out of something really bad that happened to you? not that i know of. 2470. Do you like magnetic poetry? what is that.. 2471. What is one of your secret delights? napping. surveys lol. What gives you a cheap thrill? youtube. What is your biggest guilty pleasure? idk. shopping. 2472. Have you ever misinterpreted song lyrics in a funny way (I used to think that 'wake me up before you go, go' was 'wake me up and buy me cocoa')? yes. 2473. What are the most popular/overused diary names? - 2474. Are you under pressure? yes. 2475. How well do you know yourself? well enough. 2476. Is 'soul' such an old fashioned word? no? Is 'love'? no. 2477. Name a person you love: my boyfriend. How do you love them? Let's count the ways... i love everything about him. 2478. Does your place have a lawn gnome? no. 2479. Do you ever wonder, 'why me'? sometimes. When? when i’m having a shitty time at work. 2480. Is rap a form of poetry? yes. 2481. What's the difference between a player and a baller? lol. 2482. What imagery do you get from the words 'woodsmoke and herbs'? someone cooking. 2483. How many days until your birthday? exactly a month. 2484. have you ever MEANT to hurt anyone? eh, kinda. 2485. What are 3 things you don't know? more than three things. 2486. Do you usually feel physically well or unwell? no. 2487. Would you ever submit your picture to be 'rated' on one of those 'hot or not' websites? no way. 2488. Why are there hardly ever any fat people in movies? because it doesn’t fit the hollywood aesthetic sadly. 2489. Is there any difference between what's real and what's for sale? i guess? 2490. Are you funky? no. 2491. Do apologies always make things all better? sometimes. not always. 2492. Let's just say that there is a huge ass bomb that can blow up the Whole Planet..it is set to blow up in 100 years. You can push the button to stop it but if you do you Will die. You only have this one chance to stop it. Do you stop it? it would have to be proven to me that it’s real first. i’m not gna kill myself over nothing. 2493. Let's say someone else found the button to stop it instead of you. Do you think it is their moral obligation to save humanity at the expense of their own life? it’s a tough decision so i wouldn’t be so quick to judge it tbh. 2494. What's the silliest name you can think of? idk. 2495. It's the middle of the night and you are home alone. Someone knocks on the door and says their car broke down and asks to use your phone. What do you do? let them use my phone but keep them outside. 2496. If a cop pulled you over and asked if he could search your car what would you say? i’d have to see if they’re even allowed to do that first. but i have nothing to hide anyway. 2497. Are you meek or nasty around cops? meek. if they’re breath testing me i just want it over and done with so i can go. 2498. If you were me and I was you then where would we be? idk. 2499. What has been the greatest invention so far? there have been plenty. power, lighting, all modes of transport, internet, all technology, medicine etc. 2500. We are at question 2500. Do you REALIZE what this MEANS??!!! halfway woo.

#survey #surveys #quiz #bored #questions

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bi-galacticgargleblaster · 7 years

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Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 92 truths about you. At the end choose 25 people to be tagged.

I was tagged by: I’m just gonna say that @this-blog-i-like-it tagged me because it was kinda left open and I love oversharing

LAST: Last Drink: Water, gotta keep hydrated Last Phone Call: With my mum because she was asking if I wanted a lift Last Text Message: “Hi there ^_^ -Heather” Last Song You Listened: An 8-bit remix of Centuries lol Last Time I Cried: This is kinda difficult for me to remember actually? My eyes have watered occasionally but I’ve not full on cried for a while

HAVE YOU EVER: Dated Someone Twice: Depends how you define a 3 month long on/off relationship Been Cheated On: I’m pretty sure not (I’d like to think not at least) Kissed Someone and Regretted It: Ayyy haven’t we all Lost Someone Special: Depends how you define “lost” I guess? Been Depressed: Yep hella, luckily not so much anymore Been Drunk and Thrown Up: A few times but generally I’ve learned my limits now (the last time it happened I’m pretty sure it was the dodgy take out)

IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU: Made a New Friend: Yep uni is great Fallen Out of Love: That’s a yes Laughed Until You Cried: Of course Met Someone Who Changed You: Everyone changes everyone they meet I guess? Found Out Who Your True Friends Were: Not in a dramatic way? But there’s people I’ve fallen out of contact with Found Out Someone Was Talking About You: No?

GENERAL: How many people on tumblr do you know in real life?: Probably less than 10 but more than 5? Do you have any pets?: My smol cat son Felix ^-^ Do you want to change your name?: Kinda? I do want to change it to something a bit less gendered but at the same time people already know me by this name and I don’t know what I’d change it to :/ What time did you wake up this morning? : 7:10 What were you doing last night?: Nsfw things lol Name something you cannot wait for: My society to get going again at uni :D Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yeah a couple What’s getting on your nerves rn?: Packing and uni prep in general :s Blood type: Considering how many blood tests I’ve had over the years I should really know this one, but sadly it’s never been a test they’ve run Nickname: I used to be (affectionately?) called “Heavsy” in high school quite a lot by the popular kids, unsure why but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t malicious Status: Single pringle lol Zodiac sign: Taurus Pronouns: She/her (but I might start experimenting with he/his as well? I’m having a gender crisis tbh) Favorite tv show: Love me some Torchwood High school: Quite a small grammar school College: The follow on 6th form from the high school Hair color: Green :D but my roots are coming through horrendously now so it’s like 50% brown as well Long or short: Short but growing it out long again Do you have a crush on someone: So many people What do you like about yourself: My boobs

FIRSTS: First surgery: When I was like 10 or so I had some kind of operation to help with my juvenile arthritis, idk if that counts as a surgery but I was in hospital and high af on gas and air First piercing: Got my ears done when I was 15 I think? First best friend: Some girl at my primary school First sport you joined: I swam from a very early age First vacation: No idea sorry First pair of sneakers: first ones that I had a choice over were those weird “shape up” ones but I had mismatched laces so that made them cool right? Eating: There’s a pack of parma violets next to my chair but I’m not eating them very fast lol Drinking: Just plain water I’m about to: Try on a dress I bought today for £1 at a charity shop :D Listening to: 8-bit remix of Pumped up Kicks atm Waiting for: Getting back to uni tomorrow Want kids: Nope Get married: Depends on a lot of things, I’m not sure I can make that kind of commitment though Career: I certainly hope I’m gonna go into electronic engineering

WHICH IS BETTER:

Lips or eyes: Lips imo, most people have nice eyes but really nice lips are rare Hugs or kisses: Hugs but kisses are a very close second Shorter or taller: Both are good? Older or younger: Older generally, can’t really see myself with anyone younger Romantic or spontaneous: You can be romantically spontaneous and spontaneously romantic? Both is good Sensitive or loud: Sensitive Hook up or relationship: Hook ups all the way (for now at least) Troublemaker or hesitant: Half of me loves drama but the other half is very anxious about causing or being involved in it

HAVE YOU EVER:

Kissed a stranger: are we counting tinder dates as strangers? Drank hard liquor: Yep Lost glasses/contacts: Not that I can remember (not worn them in a long time) Sex on first date: That’s literally my life rn Broken someones heart: Probably :s Been arrested: Nope Turned someone down: Yep Fallen for a friend: So many

DO YOU BELIEVE: In yourself: Generally Miracles: Nah Love at first sight: I barely believe in love (#edgy) Heaven: Seems improbable Santa Claus: Nah

Tagging - @bonesintheroses @golurkkoopa @tris-holmes @idiotonaspaceship @egosumnerdus @spudsthepiget @jackdaw-crest and anyone else I might have missed + anyone who sees it and wants to ^_^

#the formatting on this was a nightmare lol #tag #tagged #oversharing #long post #me #mine #own post

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