#holding together my mental health through the winter

[ionomycin]

My favorite pieces this year

#artists on tumblr #thank you so much for another year #as long as i can keep doing art #i'm super grateful #got to work on some cool projects #tried to push myself to socialize more #it's hard #super mega hard #but i met a few new people and made friends i think?? #got to play d&d finally #trying to learn how to make friends as an adult lmao #after just focusing on drawing my whole life #shoutout to my plants as well #holding together my mental health through the winter #it's my 3rd christmas in germany #glad to spend another one with my partner in gay

[searchingforatrail]

Title: Administrative Leave ao3 original post (follow for updates)/my twitter :D Summary:

Optimus had a day. A very, very bad day. And what was supposed to be a small visit on the Lost Light turns into a week long hold after Ratchet places him on leave for his mental health.

Optimus Prime stood in the midst of Swerve’s , frozen in what seemed like an eternity, relishing the sensation of heaviness that had rolled off of him within the last few moments.  He felt empty, light, after having offloaded what must have been the longest, most erratic, most horrendous answer to “Are you okay?” that the Ratchet had ever heard. 

For a moment, a minute moment, he felt relieved. His grievances, from the second this damned war had started up until now had been aired out into the open. And he was free, if only for a moment. Why Primus had orchestrated his breakdown to take place on the Lost Light , he wasn’t sure. But it had, and he felt grateful for it. 

Then reality settled in. 

It felt akin to a bullet lodged deep within him. Past his armor, wriggling itself through the thick walls and nestling into the soft metal of his protoform. And now, it was finally being yanked out after years of becoming a part of him. Upon receiving the wound, he had expected the worst at the initial injury. But no–the worst was what lingered. The mischievous pain that claimed a temporary absence, only to erupt throughout his frame when he least expected it. When life already had a servo wrung tightly around his neck. 

It was always there…

The ache was always there. Dull during the warmer months–the warmer times, hidden behind half-hearted smiles and softened gazes. Behind phantom reassurance.  It swelled during the winter, ached with the steep drop of temperatures. 

And Ratchet must have caught him in the midst of a blizzard. It was a perfect storm, actually.

And now he had to deal with the aftermath, the bleeding, the aftercare, the humiliation. The feeling of being exposed. The bullet was out, and the entire crew had witnessed its removal. 

Because Optimus Prime never lost himself, not like this.

He opened optics that he hadn’t even been aware had been closed. Coolant leaked from the crevices, and he brought shaky digits to his faceplate to caress the cool liquid, smearing it against the metal of his frame. Megatron sat a few chairs away in silence, shocked perhaps that Optimus’s anger hadn’t been directed at him. They locked gazes briefly, but Megatron had broken contact first. Thus with great effort, Optimus turned to fully face Ratchet. 

His spark fluttered at the mosaic of emotions that fluttered across Ratchet’s face. But it practically ached at the pure hurt. 

Hurt of a friend who had been unfairly burdened with the unaired grievances of another friend who barely made time to call. Who barely made time for regular check-ins, or quality time. 

Then it hardened, stoic like a doctor who had little room for affection or hurt. Optimus knew he had very little time to get himself together before Ratchet either locked him out for good, or did something drastic. 

“Oh–Ratchet, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to–”

The older bot shook his helm. 

“Optimus, when was the last time you were psychologically evaluated?”

Optimus’s eneregon ran cold. Frozen. Because the honest answer would usually not constitute any specific consequences. They were in war, gradually recovering, and the occasional sidelining of one’s mental health was to be expected. But that was usually because those in high command had managed to keep their senses in check. 

Having what most must have considered an emotional breakdown mid Swerve’s did not constitute as keeping one’s senses in check. But Optimus had embarrassed himself enough. Admitting to Ratchet how badly the war had impacted him would only be icing on the cake. 

He ex-vented, mustering up the scraps of dignity and the facade of respect he had practiced so well. He willed his EM field back into it’s normal parameters. 

“I apologize Ratchet. I confess I have neglected to complete the required examinations, but I will ensure I am able to when I return to Cyb–”

Ratchet held up a servo, effectively silencing the blubbering excuse that danced on the tip of Optimus’s tongue. The look of pain that crossed his features would have been enough to silence Optimus had the servo not. For a brief moment, Ratchet’s own EM field intermingled with  his own. Anger, betrayal, yearning, I’m here for you, why did you have to wait for it to be like this? Why are you lying to me?  Bombarded him all at once. Then, just as Optimus had done, Ratchet calmed his field and put on his own mask. 

The words spoken next were delivered as if they had been pre-recorded by a machine. 

“As your commanding medical officer, Optimus Prime, I am obligated to relieve you from duty. You are no longer fit to serve. You will remain on the Lost Light for the duration of the time I see fit. I’ll inform the Autobot high command of the current…situation.” 

Part of it seemed like a punishment. A way to rebel against the tone Optimus had taken against him moments earlier. Or something else, another slight against Ratchet that Optimus had managed to catalog since the beginning of the war. 

He considered his next actions more to add to the growing list. 

“I respectfully decline your decision.” Optimus did not wait for Ratchet to respond, simply moved past him and gaited towards the exit. He held his helm high and his optics straight. He had embarrassed himself enough by his outburst. No need to do so further by locking optics with the other patrons,  especially those who he had some relation with. No need to recoil into the familiar shell he had grown accustomed to over the years. 

All at once the bar seemed to come alive. Conversation resumed, albeit awkward. With each step, the deep coil within his processor unfurled like gently pulled wires. It would come back by the time he returned to his ship, weighing him down as the magnitude of what he had just done settled within him. He would have to craft an apology to Ratchet–one of many he had yet to do. 

“Megatorn, Magnus, restrain him. I’ll administer a sedative if I need to, but do not let him leave this ship.” 

And there it was again, the silence. The hushed whispers and the heaviness in full force. He sensed a swelling EM field, though in his anxiety he could not decide who it was. But given his track record of following orders, Optimus figured it was Magnus. And the small, uncertain one, must have been Megatron’s. His borrowed time certainly had changed him.

Optimus stopped in his tracks but did not look back, refusing to address the encroaching mechs. He stared at the door with a fiery gaze instead. 

“Megatron, Ultra Magnus, I will only warn you once. Any attempt to restrain or prevent me from reaching my ship will be met with force.” 

“Then it’s great that they’re not the ones handling you.” 

All too quickly, a flood of cool liquid surged through his frame. It burned at the base of his back, where Ratchet must have injected the serum. His frame shook and his knees buckled beneath him. His vision glitched as he struggled to look ahead, and then, the all too familiar sound of a full system shutdown reverberated throughout the bar. 

#megop #optimus prime #ratchet #lost light #mtmte

[mytheoristavenue]

Day 3 -

SE Franken Stein x Reader - Winter Proposal

Summary: Stein thanks you for staying by his side during the spread of Madness by offering to stay by your side permanently.

Warnings: Fluff, grammatical errors, mentions of poor mental health

Your body shuddered, trudging through ankle-deep snow, alone in the woods. Stein had invited you to his residence for what he called a 'test grading date'. He'd add that word to the back of anything he knew you'd be reluctant to take him up on. He knew how you felt for him, and he knew exactly how to get his way. You knew as well as he did, that in reality, he just wanted you to grade his class' tests in his stead, in exchange for coffee and company.

"Glad you could make it," he smiled warmly, standing in front of his home, about fifty feet away from you.

"Oh, stuff it, Stein," you huffed, stomping towards him. "You know it's like zero degrees out here? And you're making me walk in the snow, you should be ashamed!"

"It's actually fifteen degrees," he corrected with a chuckle. "But, really. Thank you for coming all this way."

"Yeah, yeah," you dismissed, now close to passing him by on the way to the door. "Let's get inside before I freeze to death."

To your surprise, Stein caught you by the wrist, pulling you back. "Not so fast," He skillfully spun you back to him, pulling you closer. "Did you really think I'd make you walk all the way here just to grade papers?"

"Well, yeah..." you swallowed, trying to conceal a blush. "That's totally something you would do."

"Maybe the old me, but I've changed," he replied, a content smile playing on his lips. "For the better, I hope."

"Yeah," you scoffed, rolling your eyes a bit. "I'm sure you feel loads better now that you're not being poisoned."

"I'm serious," he said sternly. "I feel like a new person, and it's all thanks to you."

You could no longer hide your red cheeks as more and more blood rushed to your face. "S-Stein, what are you talking about?"

Cold hands sunk down to the small of your back, pinning you against him as olive eyes bore into you. "Even at my worst, you were there," he praised, tilting his head to the side. "You never gave up on me, no matter how dangerous loving me became. You worked tirelessly to help me, with no reward. I can't thank you enough for that."

Kind, encouraging words from Stein were few and far between, so you'd never gotten accustomed to hearing them, and needless to say, it filled your tummy with butterflies. "T-That's what friends do, right? You'd do the same for me."

"You're not just my friend, (Y/N), you're my biggest support. And...if you'd have me, even after all the times I took your love for granted, I'd like to make you my wife..." From the corner of your eye, you could see him reach into his coat pocket and fish something out. "I can't offer you diamonds or precious metals, but hopefully this," he confessed, raising a hand-crafted steel ring. "Would be enough, for now, at least."

"Oh, Stein..." you breathed, totally speechless. "D-Did you make this yourself?"

"I did," he laughed. "Which is why it looks the way that it does, I'm a doctor, not a jeweler. It's made from repourosed surgical steel, so it's body safe, at least."

You couldn't help but giggle as tears streamed down your face. Looking it over, you could tell it was made terribly, beads of weld speckling it and the silhouette misshapen, but it looked just like Stein did- patched together.

"Should I take your laughter as a no?" he chuckled cooly, still holding you.

You jumped against him in response, needing to be infinitely closer. "Of course, I'll marry you, Franken!" you sobbed, nuzzling his throat. "And the ring is beautiful, I love it."

"That's a relief," he smiled gently, hugging you tightly. "I was almost nervous there."

"I could never reject you, Stein, you know that."

"I do," he agreed, before cracking a grin. "Now, Mrs. Stein, would you do the honor of grading my kids' tests while I make some coffee?"

Taglist:

@usopps-devotee

#soul eater #professor stein #professor stein x reader #dr stein soul eater #dr stein #dr stein x reader #soul eater x reader #franken stien #franken stein x reader #lemon's 25 days of christmas #christmas event #soul eater fanfic

[espresseo-cafe]

life is still beautiful | johnny | ch.7

genre: cappucino, romance, angst, university!au, dad!au, drama, slice of life

pairing: collegestudent!johnny x fem!reader

bean count: 5.4k+

warnings: mentions of bullying, anxiety breakdown, health issues

a/n: last update before i go on a short hiatus for the winter break! will be back in january 💚 enjoy your coffee this holiday my beans! note: this is only a work of fiction, it doesn’t reflect the artists’ personalities in any way.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

hugging her books, yeri plucked up the courage to walk around the campus. despite the rising fear she had in her chest, she had to get to class earlier than anyone else. the wandering eyes she got from just her presence made her feel helpless.

she knew she was stronger than that. she had to stand her ground on her own. being the eldest of four girls, she had to hold herself together in ways of emotions, mental state, and heck, even physically. however, one could only manage one thing at a time.

the tote bag got creases from her grip, she inhaled and exhaled. mentally telling herself ‘fighting’, she made her way to the hallways.

“ugh she’s here again.”

“i know right? it’s crazy.”

“that first year? i heard she’s really close with the seniors.”

“gross, she thinks she’s ‘all that’.”

“cringe.”

yeri wanted to cry, what did she do to deserve all this? she could feel her mouth quivering, making her footsteps speed up. with all the thoughts and negativity building up in her head, an image of you flashed all so suddenly.

she remembered how you consoled her, how you gave her advise to stand strong even if she felt like breaking down. and felt ashamed to not have done the same when you dealt with much harder things.

she still ran though, but became stronger and a small smile appeared in her face then..

she found herself bumping into someone.

“ow- watch where you’re going.” she groaned, rubbing the sides of her body.

“huh, you were the one so busy running-“ a guy raised his voice, his friends seconding his statement. “ah it’s you. the attention seeker.”

yeri froze, not this again.

“you can just stay there, it suits you.” another girl named jennifer giggled then pushing her to the ground, “got all the dirt as your makeup.”

mark witnessed this on the way to the lecture hall for his class. he flinched seeing yeri’s skirt slightly higher than it meant to be. he didn’t think twice and his instincts immediately took over him.

yeri saw this unfold in front of her, like a film, the red and blue cardigan slowly covered her legs. she blinked when mark sat down and blocked her view. her eyes trailed to the glasses he was wearing, his eyes unreadable. if she didn’t do that, she wouldn’t have realised she had tears rolling down her cheeks through the reflection.

the boy stared at her with clenched jaws before side eyeing the people behind who did this. he turned to her briefly and gave a handkerchief to wipe her tears, he whispered. “use this.” mark then stood up and dusted his jeans, placing his hands in the back pockets. “ah, you shouldn’t have done that.. jake. you got my jeans all dirty.”

jake raised a brow, his group of friends huddling up behind him, “you did that to yourself, helping this needy cheerleader.”

“i know, and that makes me a better person than you.” he said quite frankly and jake had a sour face on him; obviously pissed.

“by being an author? you had potential in basketball and yet you gave up your scholarship to become a freakin’ nerd! you’ve disrespected the whole team!” jake snapped, his ears becoming redder.

mark just chuckled, “disrespected? ha, this is why i left. jerks like you don’t deserve respect.”

mark approached yeri, holding her hand to help her stand and pull her away from the growing crowd around them and telling her that they should leave.

“you think you could get away just like that?!” jake called out, attempting to pull his shoulder while jennifer pulled yeri’s ponytail.

yeri let out a startled squeal and mark’s eyes widened, while he himself received a hard punch to the face, both of them falling to the ground. the others just laughed at the scenario and cheering them on.

“mark!” she shouted, her cheeks earning scratches from jennifer’s slaps, the wounds stung painfully as her tears made contact.

jake was actually enjoying this, continuing to punch the boy while the others kicked his body. he was about to give the hardest punch but his arm was yanked back. he looked behind, and his eyes widened when he realised who it was.

“j-johnny sunbae.”

johnny glared at him. holding jake’s arm, he lifted him up and shoved him to the ground in one go, instilling fear in the other students. “did you get the rest on camera?” johnny looked back at you, who was holding your phone that recorded everything, nodding in response before stopping.

“yup.” you popped your lips, placing your phone back in your pocket. “this will go well in your scholarship.. jake, was it?” you turned to other boys, “it’s going to be much worse for you lot as well.”

jake was struggling to stand up until his friends helped him. mark stood up in pain and yeri held his back and vice versa. johnny’s friends ran to the commotion and stood behind the two juniors.

johnny glared at jennifer when he noticed yeri’s face bleeding from her cheek. he treated yeri like a little sister, so seeing her hurt made him upset. he stomped to the hitter, “did you do that to yeri!?”

jennifer hitched a breath, her voice shaking, “i-i..”

“i said, did you hurt her!?” he shouted, his arm slammed the locker next to him in anger when you decided to barge in. you knew johnny had a temper, given his reaction from the motel reception. this could go worse.

“johnny.” you loudly called him, holding his forearm and the guy snapped out of it. “stop. don’t do that.”

johnny has a rush of guilt in him, “y/n, i-”

“let me do it.” you slapped her on the cheek, hard. “you must be jennifer. hi, i’m y/n.”

she held her face in pain, scoffing at the audacity. “you dare do that to me?!”

“i can do it again for free if you want.” you looked at your hand, “i’ll add fingernails for extra price.. oh wait, nevermind. you’re not that valuable.”

jennifer screeched in anger, “you b-”

you threatened her with a fake slap, it was enough to make her flinch. grabbing her sweater and pulling her close to you, you said in a cold voice, “you dare hurt yeri and her friend again, you’ll face being kicked out.” then facing to the group behind her, “your friends are at risk too.”

the younger one frowned, “you’re threatening me?!who are you to make a claim like that?!”

you smirked and bit your tongue, letting your grip loosen. “my bad, i forgot to introduce myself properly. my name’s y/fl/n, daughter of the y/l/n’s, board directors of the education bureau.”

the students started whispering to each other, even johnny and your friends had their mouths wide open in shock.

how ironic, i’m the estranged daughter. you told yourself.

the bullies went away and so did the other students, leaving you and your friends in the hallway. and you let out a soft, long sigh. your hands were shaking, spasming out of nervousness. it was the first time you announced that, the word daughter (of your parents) left a bitter taste in your tongue.

you felt dizzy that you lost a little balance but you didn’t want to worry the others. so you bit your lower lip to wake yourself up.

kun appeared in front of you with a smile on his face, “you’re the daughter of the board directors? you’re big time y/n!” he ruffled your hair then seeing your lips pale, “you okay?” you nodded, giving him a half smile and putting a finger to your lips keep it a secret. so he nodded, taking it as a sign that you didn’t want to bother the rest, “here, take my water bottle, it’s new.”

yeri wiped her tears and hugged you from the back. “thank you, y/n.” you patted her head and hugged her back when her mood suddenly changed, “something’s in my mind though..”

you looked in concern, holding your hands together, “what is it?”

she looked at everyone before turning on her sassy attitude, “why are you and big bro johnny wearing the same clothes?”

taeyong looked at johnny then to you and back again to his friend, “ah, she’s right.”

jungwoo squinted like he was figured something out, jumping after while pointing, “omg- its from a motel isn’t it?! you guys slept together??”

“johnny!” kun punched the tall guy, “have some dignity!”

“we didn’t sleep together!” you both said in unison, while your friends looked at each other in silence.

“i don’t believe them.”

“same.”

“yeah, or no same clothes.”

johnny sighed loudly, crossing his arms, “it’s a long story.. yoohyeon left for paris yesterday then we hung out at a nature reserve and bosco broke down and we got poured on so we went to a nearby motel to stay the night. and if you’re thinking otherwise, no we slept separately. i slept on the sofa and she slept on the bed.”

they looked back at each other and johnny hoped his friends got the message because he knew how hectic their minds could get. he stared at them while they stayed silent and analysed the situation once more.

“nah they probably did.”

“no doubt.”

“we felt the tension between them.”

johnny groaned and gave himself a facepalm, unbelievable. “i’m done here.” making you shake your head in agreement, then you stopped him.

“johnny.” he looked at you before stopping, “i’ve been thinking about it all night but after youngmin’s birthday, im going to go see my parents tomorrow. they managed to contact me even when i tried my best to cut off any connection.”

as if he knew this would happen, he smiled sadly and scratched the back of his head. “sorry, i gave them your number because they kept calling me in the middle of the night.. well i did give them my number back at the carnival, so it’s expected.”

you grumbled, feeling awful for him, “i should be sorry. i guess this is time for me to clear thing with them. i’ll leave at seven, just before the party finishes.”

he patted your shoulder, “yeah sure. will you be alright alone?”

you nodded, feeling slightly confident, “not really but i think i could manage. actually it feels like i’m going to the principal’s office like i did something bad.”

“but you didn’t do anything though?”

“i left home, not contacting them for three years. so yeah it’s definitely bad in their eyes.” you combed your hair back, “but it’s okay, i knew i’d face this sooner or later.”

——

seungcheol sat by the bleachers after football do-overs, wiping his sweat with the towel that his coach gave him. it had been days since he actually participated, so you could say he was still a bit off course with the drills, despite being the captain.

a bottle of water appeared in front of him, his doe eyes found the giver. he scoffed to himself, “and what are you doing, rowoon?”

the tall guy sat beside him, smiling cockily, “i saw johnny suh a week ago, hyung.”

“and what do you want me to do?” seungcheol spun the unopened bottle, not making eye contact with him. “don’t include me in your useless sidelines.”

“even if it includes the girl from that accident? heard he’s hanging out with her all the time.” rowoon grinned mischievously, now getting the older one’s attention. “and i know you got the hots for her.”

seungcheol rolled his eyes at the boy, then standing up to prepare for his leave, “rowoon, what do you really want from me?”

“police are apparently still looking into the investigation. i have the details and i need your help, whenever you’re free though.”

——

as johnny had hoped, youngmin’s birthday boasted the weather. it was a perfect morning, the bright sun was all out and he could smell the familiar scent he loved to wake up to every morning at his family home: bacons.

a shuffle next to him made turn to his side to face the newly awaken little human. youngmin was a happy baby and still is, and because of it johnny’s mornings were always on a positive note. “hey little buddy, good morning! who’s turning two today?”

the two year old gurgled and sat up with his fluffy bed hair, then climbing on johnny’s stomach. “na! (me)” while raising his arms up.

“good boy!” johnny sat up and gave youngmin’s sides a tickle before carrying him and going downstairs to where his mom was cooking breakfast. he kind of stopped in his tracks, seeing you beside her wearing an apron, helping to make breakfast and other foods for the party.

“good morning mom.” he said as he placed a kiss on her cheek, rubbing her back. he took a good look at you, who didn’t take notice of his presence as you had earphones on.

his mom gave a teasing grin, nudging her son. “aren’t you going to give her a kiss as well? i promise i won’t get jealous.”

johnny’s ears turned red and scoffed, “mom, stop.” but he smiled when he put youngmin down, the toddler running to hug your legs.

you gasped at the sudden contact, the knife cutting your finger, “ah.” bringing your finger to your mouth.

mrs. suh and johnny also flinched towards your reaction, johnny put his arm out halfway but hesitated. his mom looked at him, seeing her son’s reluctant self made her click her tongue, so she pushed him to you as she took youngmin to the living room. “stop being a coward. it’s not manly.”

johnny squinted his eyes at his mom, “she-”

“oh you’re here, johnny.” you took off your earbuds, finger still in your mouth.

“you okay?” he asked, his hand touched the back of his neck.

you made a disgusted face, the wound actually went deeper than you thought. “yeah. word of caution, blood and minced garlic do not go together. it’s gross and it stings.”

johnny laughed, walking closer to you. you stepped back a bit towards the kitchen counter, hand just holding the edge. he reached out for something from the cupboard above you. “i’ve tried that, worse taste ever.”

fetching a first kid kit to his hand, it nearly fell that he lost balance and held the counter. your hands brushing briefly next to each other and it gave you a cold chill down your arm and made johnny hold in a breath. your faces were an inch away from one another, pairs of eyes having a stare battle as if it were the only thing in the world consisted of.

the brown orbs that looked into yours was hypnotic that you could faint instantly. johnny on his sane self kept his gaze on you locked, like you were the missing key to his unopened soul. he knew you were pretty already, but this close of a distance had him changing his mind that you were so much more beautiful.

the weather was understandably warm, but what you didn’t understand was why your face was mirroring its temperature. you knew johnny had this effect on you but today was… different? you couldn’t explain why that you just kept quiet without saying a word.

“so are we just going to stare at each other the whole day or what?” johnny asked softly, then looking at your lips that were agape, looking away slowly as he brought the kit down. “because as a future doctor i need to tend to my patient.”

“then this doctor needs to take a sick leave because he’s distracted.” you sniffled, putting the knive away and washing your still bleeding finger.

“well that’s because i have a pretty patient.” he said out loud, then mentally screamed because he actually said it out loud.

he took your hand and disinfected it before putting a band-aid. you thanked him softly and continued to prepare for the party just after lunch. his group of friends came right in carrying balloons, cutleries, lootbags, and more food and drinks. he sighed briefly that no one saw that you and him had a face off, because if they did, he’d never hear the end of it.

youngmin’s birthday had more visitors than expected, johnny’s family home was filled noises that a party should have. he looked at the little boy, eating his cake that he smashed just a second ago, giggling through the cream that reached his cheeks.

though he looked at his son with pure love and heartfelt feelings, his gaze shifted from him to you, since you had mentioned that you were leaving early in the evening. he wanted to join you, having met your parents two months prior in an overwhelming atmosphere. however, he had extended family and friends under the same roof, so escaping was far from a good option.

from where he was sitting, he liked how you talked with his family but his heart ached a little knowing that was what you wanted. he felt a little nudge, from a friend he hadn’t seen since middle school. “yo johnny. that girl your new one, the one in beige?”

johnny wiped his mouth clean before answering, “w-what no.. she’s a friend.”

“you sure? if she’s your friend then you don’t mind me making a move on her? she’s seems alright.” he stood up and johnny’s instinct was to hold his friend’s arm, stopping him from making any more steps to you.

his friend took that as a sign that you weren’t just anybody someone could approach, and that spoke louder to him that johnny had his eyes on you first. the corners of his mouth rose a little, “on second thought, i’ll go get more food.”

with this much people in the suh’s home, you guessed that johnny’s family was somewhat prominent. by the looks of how johnny was raised and how people treated him, he was definitely respectable.

and just how he weirdly occupied your mind once again, you found yourself looking for him, just to be caught by johnny’s eyes himself. your eyes widened and checked the time, you had to leave soon. it was your parents’ anniversary and figured that you could patch it up with them. it had been three years, it was more than enough time to tell what you needed to.

johnny gestured for you two to talk a little at the porch. “are you sure you don’t need me to accompany you? i can step out for a bit.”

you slung your bag on your shoulder, “johnny, youngmin needs you here more. he’ll cry when he doesn’t see you.”

he combed his hair back, “actually i feel like the roles have reversed now, he’d cry when you aren’t around.”

“you’re kidding.” you chuckled.

“nope, and i have a video to prove it.” he shook

his new phone. you pushed him because he had been flexing his new gadget to his friends the whole day. he curled his tongue and smiled, taking something out of his pocket, “just.. take this. it’s a panic button, if anything happens.” he handed you the said item.

your heart pinched, not because of how attractive he was, but how attentive he was to your situation. “thank you, johnny.”

making your way down to the bus stop, you noticed he was still just a feet behind you to make sure you got on safe. he waved as you took your seat before the transport drove pass by him, and he might’ve just ticked the boxes you liked for a guy.

your phone buzzed, a notification from johnny popped up:

[ johnny ] : “you can do it, just remember to be strong. well; i know you are but i guessed you needed a booster 💪🏻”

[ you ] : “yeah, i’ll do my best. thank you.”

johnny went back to the party and accommodated the guests he didn’t get to entertain. he spotted his friends having fun with his nintendo switch while his parents were busy conversing with his aunts and uncles.

he helped himself to the kitchen, pouring a glass of water to rehydrate his drying throat. he loved the summer because of the heat, but nothing beats the feeling of cold liquid to soothe his body temperature. with the way he drank a third glass, he realised he hadn’t been drinking enough since lunch.

he sat on the counter, scrolling through his phone for the next hour or so. hearing goodbyes from several families as they took their leave, he waved at them. this continued until his friends were the only ones left behind, deciding last minute that they’d sleepover for the night. his parents agreeing since it was nearing the end of summer vacation and for their help in preparation of youngmin’s birthday.

one of the last families wanted to go karaoke and johnny’s parents joined them, saying that the night was far from over. his mom asking him to look after the house and make sure not to make a huge mess while they were gone.

johnny was relieved that everything was in place and how youngmin was still happy despite most of his playgroup friends had already left. he stretched his arms to carry the child, waving to his parents as they left.

“did you have fun today, youngmin-ah? happy birthday again you little rascal.” he lifted him higher, giving him raspberries blows on the child’s stomach. his happiness was cut short when he noticed his friends went unusually quiet.

he guided his eyes to where his friends were and he didn’t believe what he was seeing in front of him.

minji stood there, her arms crossed together as a bag dangled on one of them: a gift for her son. “hey..”

yeri’s brows furrowed and anger took over her, marching towards johnny’s ex. “how dare you show your face here after what you did to johnny?!” seulgi and mark pulling her back before she did anything, “you got some nerve, you b-”

“yeri.” johnny started, handing the child to kun. “what do you want, mj?”

her expression was soft but that was about it, not anyone knew what her intention really was besides giving a gift to youngmin, which jungwoo took when handed over. “i was hoping we could talk..” she looked to the others then back to johnny, “alone?”

johnny gestured to his friends to go back to the house and clear up, saying he wouldn’t take long.

taeyong looked back in concern, his gut telling him something was going to happen. he heard the two argue many times and he knew that this wasn’t going to be any different. so he decided to stay close to the main entrance in case one of them broke a vessel and scrolled through his phone.

the weather forecasted that tonight would rain due to continuous heat and sunny periods, so the group hurried back before the typhoon arrived. after a few minutes, the house was almost cleaned up when everyone heard minji and johnny shouting and raising their voices.

“this is why you should’ve answered my calls! you can’t just tell me that you want to get back together after ghosting me when i messaged you!” johnny fumed up, pointing fingers at her when minji just remained silent for a bit.

“i said i was sorry okay?! maybe i shouldn’t have come here! you’re still the same!” minji spat back, holding her sweater to prevent her from doing anything rash.

seulgi held her back, while taeyong pulled johnny too. yeri pushed mark aside gently and pointed at minji. “leave. now. before my hands break loose.”

minji gave everyone a long glare before stepping out, clicking her tongue in distaste. johnny’s friends saw how she walked away in shame and anger, not a word spoken between them as they stood by the porch.

——

the ride wasn’t as long as you thought, probably just three stops away. the restaurant your parents booked was the same one as the photo where everyone was.. happy. you’d be lying if you said you weren’t nervous at all because in reality, you really were.

stepping in the restaurant, the grip on your bag crumpled and you exhaled a breather. spotting the reception and informing the staff of the booking, he then guided you to a vip room.

the table was placed behind the glass window, three empty chairs reserved for you and your parents. it had been a while, and you asked yourself when the last time you actually had a proper family dinner was.

you pre-ordered the five course menu for yourself, not knowing what your parents would choose. observing the vip room, it was quiet. one painting, in particular, caught your eye. it was a centerpiece that had an abstract theme, and strangely enough it was calming your nerves until your parents arrive.

the waiter came up to your table, pouring you a glass then another handed your one-bite hors d’ouvres. peeking at the entrance, which was visible to where you were sitting, there were no signs of newcomers.

eating the one bite hors d’ouvres, you expected your phone to chime a notification, only to be met with the display time moving onward. it had been half a hour. would they really show up?

the appetiser came about, then the salad. reaching for your phone once more, you hesitantly called your dad. however, there was only the monotonous sound, saying that he wasn’t going to answer.

usually vip rooms were the loudest, the most fun. yours was the opposite as you ate in silent.

main course had already made it to your table when you noticed your parents haven’t even arrived. you called them probably five times. though it was final that they were never going to come tonight. your vision slowly blurred and it felt full, a rush of sadness overtook your entire body.

not wanting to leave without finishing the dessert, you were served the sweetest cheesecake. except that, your palate was so bland. the two seats in front of you have been empty for an hour and a half. it reminded you of days when you at home eating dinner alone.

this was no different, but why did you expect so much when it was obvious that it’d be the same as before? it was only after dessert where you realised that the windows have been painted with mirror droplets and bright flashes.

standing up, you paid the bill that was meant for three when only one just showed up. your lips quivered, holding yourself together in public.

it was when you stormed out of the restaurant where your tears fell. you cursed at the sudden rain and thunderstorm. tonight weather’s was just like how you were feeling. your tears transmigrated with the heavy rain.

you didn’t have an umbrella with you and you cried harder when your phone was on the whole time, almost draining the rest of your phone battery.

you ran, once again. the patters of heavy rain that hit your face weren’t in parallel to the pain you felt. you ran to wherever, far away from your parents (even if they weren’t there), far from the past trauma you got.

tossing the stuff in your bag, you whimpered in hiccups when your inhaler was nowhere to be seen, then remembering you had the panic button johnny gave you earlier. you pressed it immediately, hoping to inform him you needed help, now.

johnny was watching a movie with his friends to cool off his mind when his phone rang a siren. he paused the movie and had a serious look. jungwoo scoffed and turned to face the guy. “dude don’t just pause at the-” he got cut off when johnny abruptly stood up and rushed to the door, his clothes went pass the younger one. “johnny hyung?”

“i’ll step out a bit..” he scrambled through his backpack for an item he regretted not giving to you.

the rest of the gang looked up, confused faces in theirs when they tried to reciprocate his vague action.

johnny pointed towards the clock, “it’s 9pm, could one of you guys please bring youngmin upstairs and put him to sleep and mind the house? i’ll be right back.” rushing out of his family home.

kun pulled johnny’s arm back after seeing an inhaler on his hand. he thought for a bit as he tried to connect the dots, “dude, what about y/n?”

“come with me, kun.” johnny just simply asked him to.

the two ran out and took a taxi just outside, as if it was prepared for them. johnny took his phone out, the gps telling him where you were located. his eyebrows met together when you weren’t even at the restaurant you said you were supposed to be in.

“.. johnny.” his thoughts pulled him out of a trance when kun called his name. “if this is something she only told you, i’ll stay out of it but tell me where she is so i could inform the driver.”

johnny’s legs shook anxiously as he bit his nails, looking out of the raindrop patterned window. he scolded himself for not handing your inhaler to you, he regretted giving that advice for you to talk to your parents, and he wished he didn’t give his phone number. this wouldn’t have happened if he just stepped back.

kun looked at his friend, “i know that look. if you’re regretting something, don’t. you did what you can to help.”

“yeah.”

the taxi stopped at an alleyway because there was a dead end at the end of road. johnny opened the door and left, not bothering to open the umbrella he brought while kun paid the driver.

johnny flicked his already wet hair back, “y/n!” he called out, checking his phone again to see the glowing red dot so he’d know where to look. he ran when you were just close by. “kun! follow me!”

his footsteps halted when he saw you seated underneath a lamp post. he’d want to applaud you for staying there, at least he could spot you so easily but it wasn’t the right time.

your clothes and yourself were soaking wet. one of your hands holding your chest while the other held the panic button. the jeans you wore turned darker when the light was covered, you looked up and johnny was standing up front, towering over you.

“y/n..” he sat down eye level with you. he took out the inhaler, putting it in your mouth, and pressed the pump. “breathe, okay? we’ll do this a few times.”

kun saw this scene unfold in front of him, he recalled this very same gesture you did yesterday. “ah, that’s why she wanted it to keep it a secret.” he told himself, taking out a towel and held the umbrella above the two of you.

“slowly.” johnny guided you, pushing away the wet strands off your face, then wrapping the towel around you. you were still in a mental breakdown and his heart ached a lot seeing you like this.

kun swayed awkwardly but understood and took that as a sign for him to leave for a bit. he gave the umbrella to johnny before skipping through further to look for a shed while we waited.

you just continued to cry. johnny didn’t know what to do, but talking wasn’t an option. so he took his phone out, playing the favourite song you had mentioned at the road trip, and put one of his earbuds to your ear and another to his. he dropped the umbrella from his hold, mumbling an ‘excuse me’ before wrapping his arms around you.

it was hard to hide the state of your mind, but you wondered why it was so easy for you to be vulnerable in front of johnny. more tears came out with just one action, along with the song you loved. sometimes you just needed a hug, no words needed to be said.

despite the rain, you didn’t realise how cold it got until you felt johnny’s warmth; his arms was enough to make you feel safe. and you hugged him back, responding that it was okay for him to do that.

though he was keeping you close to him, johnny’s mind was occupied with so many things tonight: your difficult situation and the sudden appearance of his ex- minji.

your arms around him made him hug you tighter.

maybe, he needed a hug too.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

taglist: @titanmaknae29 @joepomonerof @lovesuhng @studyingthemind @cheyehc @kyeomooniee @geysuuuuh

#johnny scenarios #johnny imagines #johnny fluff #johnny angst #johnny au #johnny drabbles #johnny series #johnny fanfic #johnny oneshot #johnny romance #nct johnny #johnny nct #johnny seo #seo youngho #johnny suh scenarios #johnny suh fluff #johnny suh angst #johnny suh romance #nct scenarios #nct fluff #nct au #nct series #nct oneshot #kpop scenarios #nct kpop #kpop fluff #kpop fanfic #nct fanfic #nct angst #johnny suh

[jalinaalkenza]

How about the next part of I wanna hold you? Or just anything that would break our hearts. I'm feeling like a good cry is needed.

I'VE BEEN THINKING OF SOMETHING!!! IM GONNA MAKE A PART 2 OF "I WANNA HOLD YOU" BUT I WANNA MAKE A REAL HURTFUL AND SAD ONE.

SACRIFICE...(What if-)

Natasha Romanoff × Fem! Reader

Warning: Angst, sad, no happy ending, sacrifice, crying, break up, mental health mentioned?

Summary: Everything is too late.

(Set on -The Avengers Endgame- Year:2023)

After Natasha Romanoff sacrificed her self for the soul stone, Clint came back all alone. Y/N was there to check the Avengers for any updates.

-----FLASHBACK (BEFORE THE CHAOS)-----

You and Natasha have been dating secretly since The Avengers 2012. And no one ever knew about that since she's very sneaky and good at hiding things, and so are you.

It's hard for both of you. Cause it's not very stable and it's dangerous, she loves you and you love her. You tried to convince her that she's not a monster or any kind of a weapon and she believes you. You two shared many nights and days with each other without anyone knowing. Comforting each other and loving. but as always- Tragic and unexpected things do happened. The Avengers was doing great until-

The Winter Soldier came. Two groups were divided, team cap and team ironman. Natasha assured you that everything will be ok and the team will be ok, nothing to worry about. But she was worry cause she doesn't have a choice but to fight in the civil war. She hated it. She knows that Tony was wrong but doesn't have a choice, because of a stupid contract. You were on top of the tower watching the Avengers go against each other on the monitor. You heated it too cause it's all wrong.

After many hours pass by, you saw that The team ironman is getting inside of the jet now. And you also saw that Natasha blast Steve before going inside the jet, practically saving him and betraying Tony.

They got into the tower and when Natasha came back she straightly went to you. Hugging you and telling you everything and you helped her with her bruises and wounds, after she went to Tony's office.

They talked and basically they fought, Tony knew the betrayal that Nat did. He knew about you and the relationship between you two, she was guilty and she wants you to be safe and protected.

After that she was looking down and she faced you. Wanting to break things apart because she's scared of putting you in danger. You fought with her and cried Infront of her, she's just looking at you straight in the face with no emotions. She hated it and she just wants to hold you.

"We can go through this Natasha! We've been through a lot..." You said, crying. Your voice breaking. "Y/N- we can't. It's not safe, I love you but it's not possible for us anymore." She said and left you there all alone. You cried and cried- sleepless night, overthinking. Your angry at her. You love her.

Next day you found out that she's on a run, she left the tower and Tony was un bother, still angry and pissed at Natasha. She's gone and you were all alone.

It's all over the news that she and Steve are on the run, they're not together though. She's also alone. No where to go- that's what you thought.

Days, Weeks, Months and she came back with a blonde hair. She ignored you and focused on her mission like a heartless woman, but she seems happy. And you decided to ignore her too. It's hard because after many years together it just ended like that, you love her. She's a part of you.

Natasha's POV:

I love her. Still. Every minutes, seconds without her is a pain in my heart. I left because of the guilt inside me, I was all alone thinking about her and only her. Until I was faced into a mission, meeting Yelena, Alexei and Melina. We were all reunited all over again. But still I want Y/N besides me. We finished the mission freeing the other Widows from Dreykov. I didn't wanna go back to the avengers tower ever again but I want to see Y/N and maybe fight just to protect her. I didn't care about the world at some point, I want to protect my sister, my family, my y/n.

-----PRESENT DAY-----

Y/N's POV:

Natasha did sacrificed her self, Clint explained and Y/N was there, she was shocked. Even though many years and months past by and Natasha kept on ignoring her, she still love her. She left the room and cried at the bathroom, punching the mirror and breaking down on the floor. She cried and now she's not in her normal State anymore. Nothing is left for her, No parents. No siblings. No Natasha. And because of that she's done.

While everyone was gone she hacked the avengers lounge, the machine was there and not even thinking she started it and it worked, she spawned her self and she transported to the place of the darkness, Vormir.

She was on top of the edge where Nat fell and behind her was Red Skull, she begged that she would sacrifice her life in order for the soul stone and Natasha to comeback, intrigued Red skull saw her innocence and love, her innocence and love is worth the sacrifice for both. And it's a deal then.

She jumped of the edge and Nat woke up in an unknown place. The avengers then went back to the lounge and when Banner operate the system Natasha spawned there, Alive.

Everyone was shocked. How? What? Was the question and they watched the systematic monitor for an explanation, the CCTV and saw y/n hacking the avengers lounge and going inside the machine without any doubt.

And the war between Thanos and everyone was on. Natasha was full with anger. She was supposed to die and she wanted to change it and save Y/N but the machine broke. Before y/n used it she automatically locked it so no one would use it ever again. Natasha fought the war. Angry and because of y/n's sacrificed the stone was in purity. Tony didn't have to die. The war was quick. And with Natasha's anger she uses every strength of her body to fight.

-At y/n's funeral

Everyone left and Natasha is still there alone. It's almost midnight and the moon is very beautiful, shining and the starts were also patterning. Natasha chuckle with a tear in her eyes as she spoke.

"Why would you sacrifice yourself for me? I clearly didn't do anything. I was a coward" she said her voice cracking..... "I love you and I never stopped loving you. I sacrificed myself for you and you did the same to me but the difference is you succeeded and I failed." Her tears running down her face. "Don't worry. If something happened I'll sacrifice my self for the world and if I die, I hope that you'll be with me." She sobbed "I hope that I'll die soon...." She sobbed again and chuckle "I love you."

After that Natasha is always with you, sitting besides your grave even if your grave is empty. She then bring Yelena and introduce her to you. Every mission she's always confident because she knows that your always with her in the sun and in the moon.

______________________________________________

@natsrealgfhihi I finished a storyyyyy!!!😭♥️

A/N: REQUEST ARE OPEN!!!

#natasha marvel #mcu fanfiction #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #y/n #marvel mcu #black widow #fanfics #natalia romanova #sad gurl #angst #no happy ending #sadpost #crying #sad fic #fluff #natasha romanoff x you #natasha x reader #marvel #avengers endgame #esc 2023 #the avengers #black window frame #devil may cry #story #fanfic #highlights #angst sad #no happiness #no happy ending offf

[raccoonfallsharder]

✩࿐࿔ get some sunshine, sunshine. [new 2/1]

fluff (smut-free) | gn reader | no use of y/n | drabble | word count: 1,614.

rocket reminds you to get outdoors and get some sunshine — for your physical and mental health. especially in winter. (take your vitamins too!)

pro-tip: light therapy devices (aka “SAD lamps”) can be purchased pretty reasonably and (at least in the US) are often available for free through public libraries for cardholding members and university student services (health centers, counseling centers, student wellness orgs, etc) for campus community members. read the instructions before usage.

“We are excited to have you back home soon!” “I’m excited to be home soon,” you tell Cosmo, watching the pale blue shape of her projected image as she runs in a tight circle and lets out a bark. “You takin’ care of yourself?” Kraglin asks, his narrow face pinched with worry. “You know the Cap’n won’t like it if you’re not—” “I’m taking care of myself just fine,” you cut him off, rolling your eyes. “The Captain couldn’t even bother to be on this call, so he can suck my—” “Your what?” You wince. You know that gravelly rumble as well as the bridge on your favorite song. Goddammit. Still, you manage to hold it together and stick out your tongue as he comes into view on the holovid.  “Better late than never, Captain.” He raises a brow at you. “Brat. You look like shit.”

read more on ao3 ✩࿐࿔

need more reminders from rocket?

the world is hard, and sometimes it's difficult to complete daily tasks & take care of yourself (aka rocket bullies you for your own damn good).

this is about as wholesome as it gets (for me) i think. can be read platonically or romantically. mcu-based, meant to take place post-volume-3, but headcanon however you want ♡

✩࿐࿔ take what you need masterlist

࿔ eat somethin. (wc: 576) ࿔ go to frickin bed already. (wc: 737) ࿔ get outta bed & get your shit done. (wc: 925) ࿔ take a damn bath. (wc: 1,375) ࿔ leave your frickin skin alone. (wc: 1,579) ࿔ take a fuckin study break.(wc: 1,020) ࿔ drink some goddamn water. (wc: 1,209) ࿔ stop destroying your frickin clothes.(wc: 1,609) ࿔ just buy the damn thing already. (wc: 1,271) ࿔ it's frickin laundry day. (wc: 1,923) ࿔ get some sunshine, sunshine. (wc: 1,614) ࿔ did you take your damn meds today? [est 2/12] ࿔ schedule your fuckin' appointments. [est 2/26] for LunaAfton♡

if you find any of these at all helpful, they're meant for you.

feel free to ✩ request reminders ✩ via reblogs, asks, and tumblr or ao3 comments if they would be helpful for you. it may take me a hot minute to get to them depending on life n stuff, but i will do my best. currently backlogged till march ~ feel free to continue sending your requests in the meantime!

if you’d like to join my fanfiction taglist, please comment or send me a message or ask! ♡

@suicidalshitstick ✩ @glow-autumz ✩ @evolvingchaoswitch ✩ @wren-phoenix ✩ @pretty-chips

total word-count: 13,878

#rfh fanfic #rfh fluff #take what you need #rocket bullies you for your health #look sometimes you just need someone to tell you what to do #wholesome #rocket raccoon fanfiction #rocket raccoon fanfic #rocket raccoon fluff #rocket reminders #rocket raccoon x you #rocket racoon x reader #rocket x you #gotg rocket #rfh masterlist #self care reminder #self care tips #rocket raccoon #guardians of the galaxy #gotg fanfiction #self care #get some sunshine #seasonal affective disorder #winter blues

[johnniestheme]

simon and stellas lore

heavily based off the hawaii pt ii album by miracle musical

(early summer) 

determined to impress his deadbeat father, simon sails off to hawaii on a fishing trip. he finds himself caught in a storm which destroys his ship and leaves him washed up on the beach with nothing but the clothes on his back. stella finds him and gets him help. the octangulas offer simon a place to stay, in return for working on the small family orchard.

(late summer now, simon and stella have established a relationship together)

the city holds a yearly ball to celebrate the end of summer. simon asks stella to go with him and she agrees. after a while they sneak out the back and run off to "their spot" 

(an abandoned stone lookout on a cliff, with a view of the ocean)

as they jog through the forest together, simon catches his foot on a small branch. not realizing her date is currently on the ground, stella keeps running. simon scrambles up and immediately starts yelling out her name. his shouts grow more frantic as he hears a scream in the distance. blood seeps from her chest as he finds her collapsed on the stairs of the lookout, a knife sitting not far from her body. he gives her one last quiet goodbye before running off to the local police station for help. the group of men follow him to the spot of her murder, and simon is detained as one of the officers notices the blood on his hands. 

uuruurgghhh the court stuff is boring but basically the evidence is stacked so high against simon that he decides to plead insanity for what he assumes will be a lighter punishment. he is sentenced to electro shock therapy (before anesthesia was common) and is to be shipped off back to the mainland of the states to spend the rest of his life in an institution. 

(mid/late winter)

simon escapes after months of enduring the torture of the asylum. by the time he got out, the electro shock therapy had done a number on him. he forgot almost everything about him or his life, including stellas death. he only knows that he longs for someone, and that someone is in hawaii. determined to find her, he steals a small wooden rowboat, planning to sail off back to hawaii to find her. 

with absolutely no plan or preparations, simon takes off in the dead of the night. his mental health worsens the longer he is alone at sea, considering hes slowly starving to death. 

(this next part is planned to dsism, down to the very second, but ill try not to be too wrapped up in their every move)

in the middle of the third night, simon hears the sound of the water stirring. lifting his head, he sees stella standing over the water, looking no different than the night of the ball. she reaches out her hand, and as he grabs it, he is suddenly in his suit. the feelings of hunger and worry wash from his body. he doesnt feel tired anymore, just at ease. they dance on the water, and slowly up into the clouds, where they reside happy in heaven together

the end :3

and just to clear a few things up:

-the story is set in the 1960s

(in the original ref sheet drawings it says 1940s but my dumbass forgot hawaii wasnt a state until 1959)

-i have 2 versions of my hpii story. the first one (this one) is less realistic and has a few unnecessary changes because i just decided i wanted to

the second one is my hpii movie concept ideas. the movie concept is pretty similar with 2 exceptions. 

1: its more realistic (stellas last name isnt octangula, the court system is more true to life ect ect)

2: it sticks to the album better 

-last thing to know is im dyslexic so pretty please ignore the grammar mistakes. because of the built in spell check, spelling isnt usually a problem, but i do sometimes overcompensate with my punctuation, so theres probably a few out of place commas out there.

[nanlanmoarchived]

Me? Putting that gif twice so it doesn't bombard the dash?? absolutely

but yes! it's me!

i rise like the vampire i feel like i am these days to check in! this semester i had to hit the ground running, going straight from winter to festival to spring? not a vibe. i've been adjusting to teaching at 8am and let me tell you?? it's also not a vibe.

i miss being here and i miss writing with you guys so much. i'm so sorry that i'm holding onto things. i hope to find the spoons this weekend to reply to everything and throw it into the queue and then honestly?? probably drop my queue to like, twice a day to stretch it out. i don't want to formally go on hiatus bc i am still around and able to do things occasionally but it's definitely not the way it used to be.

i've been struggling with finding muse, both here and on discord and i'll share some of why that is under the cut below. trigger warning for death, suicide, and general mental health stuff under the cut!

if that info's not your vibe, i totally get it and i hope that you're having an amazing day and thank you for your patience and understanding!!

for some lore dropping, the last couple of weeks have been wild. my mental health as been a bit of a struggle as it usually is but coming into this week i had a stray puppy i found and rehomed with my mom that turned into a big stress mess, issues at work with my coworkers being blatantly disrespectful, and navigating through all of that while standing up for myself without feeling like i'm being a bitch has been an adventure. i'm not great at setting boundaries and advocating for myself and while my therapist is very proud of my work, it's been just that: a whole lotta work.

i've also been grieving really since the beginning of the year as i've lost three high school instructors and this week i lost one of my advisors from university. this morning i found out that he took his own life in the university theatre and it's just kind of a lot of information to process?? i mourn for his loss in our community and the loss of his life and also for our TD who found him along with students.

so, with all of this said my creativity is really, really low. i'm struggling with basic things while trying to keep up the veneer for my kids at work so i'm just tired but i do truly miss writing here and if i can get my mojo back, i'm gonna try my damndest to get something going.

if you took a read through under the cut, thank you. i appreciate you and your kindness and i hope that you're having a beautiful day! i hope we get to create something amazing together soon and i hope you know how much i love you!!

#ooc #not so little life update! #suicide tw #death tw #eta: i am okay! #the triggers aren't about me #just things around me!

[chuckabeth]

I don’t know why I’ve suddenly been imbued with the audacity of actually writing a real tumblr post instead of just reglobbing but um

On behalf of myself and all immunocompromised people

PLEASE GET YOUR SHOTS THIS SEASON

Please

I didn’t used to exempt myself from seasonal vaccines. I don’t even want to, I don’t even like it. But my body’s defenses and reactions are so frail and inflamed that if I take the shot, I will get sick. Really sick. Probably weeks of real pain and illness and slow recovery overreacting to the vaccine, and it will cost me my grades, my social life, my mental health, and that’s when a billion different logistical and health hurdles are already threatening my tenuous hold on those things as it is. I have to work so hard, and make decisions so, so carefully just to maximize the possibility that I’ll hopefully! Hopefully. Be well. Or at least well enough.

I have misunderstood and untreatable autoimmune disease(s) that have (in all likelihood) damaged my organs and decreased my ability to digest food and absorb vitamins on my own. I’m already in so much pain and fatigue every day that I (thank the Lord that I have this resource) use a wheelchair to help me get around without making myself sicker just from the strain of doing the regular stuff.

I have had COVID at least once. Thankfully I had taken the vaccine that time. But the vaccine reaction was almost as bad as the real thing. BUT if you’re healthy, (or at least healthier than me) THIS WILL NOT BE TRUE FOR YOU. You can afford a couple days of feeling a little under the whether. Right? I feel under the weather or worse literally every day of my friggin life, and often I just get on with things.

So…. Do it for me? So I don’t get long COVID? Or just like, the flu? Or other things that are popping up! Wear a mask and stay home if you can when you’re sick, thoughI know the latter is very difficult to get away with for so many. I just ask because these things could actually damage me in ways they might not damage you. And if you don’t do it for me, do it for the people that could just be straight up killed by a respiratory illness. That stuff spreads so easily, and they are likely locked up in their houses just as painfully as you were in lockdown trying to stay alive. Yet, like you, they have lives and hopes and dreams and are worthy of human decency and care and respect. But believe me, we don’t often feel enough of it, let alone from our doctors. All too often not even from our own families.

Or, you know, like, do it for yourself and other able bodied people who could suddenly find yourselves in our position through this Long COVID stuff. I know!! I know it feels like naw that would never happen to you. Is this stuff even for real? But trust me trust me, it can, it will. A lot of us sickies were like you once. And a lot of us still don’t have answers for what “went wrong.” And realizing that none of us are all that different, that we’re al in this together actually! Is one of the first biggest steps to compassionate and real, noticeable change. Caring enough about others and their needs enough to be mindful about simple stuff.

And hey, MAYBE just on your own, none of it will be enough. But at least you can look back and comfort yourself saying you tried. You didn’t take our lives for granted.

LOL anyway I’m just so nervous about school this winter please help me get my bachelor’s in as much peace as possible

#disability #chronic illness #covid #long covid #autoimmune disease #masks #VACCINES #flu season

[kgs10]

My computer keeps crashing so whoever requested this here it is.

sorry, it's taking me so long to write and respond to yall's requests life's been shitty. Anyways enjoy this one and the edit. It is one of my favorite Aespa ones.

Warnings: cussing, kissing, hate

Genre: Fluff with a little bit of angst.

Prompt: The 5th member is cold towards winter and winter ends up injured so the 5th member takes care of her and then they catch feelings.



Being the 5th member of a K-pop group that was already established isn't easy. It doesn't help that you are American. The Korean fans that followed Aespa were furious. You went viral for the wrong reasons, making you mad at everyone, especially your members.

You had people that admire you for what you've been through. You've tried to think about the positive comments but the negatives are louder. It's hard to ignore negative comments when they involve your family.

The company didn't do anything to stop the hate. You thought that you were only put into this group to make them go viral but they didn't care how you go viral.

The members try to get you to open up to them but you're just always in your head. So they don't bother and make you even madder about the whole situation. You talked to them when you had to. You didn't go out of your way to talk to them.

Winter is an introvert and so are you. She thinks you would get along together well. She tried to approach you by herself but you always had a look on your face like you didn't want company so she just went her ways.

You didn't know why you were colder towards Winter. You knew deep down why but you just didn't want to say it out loud.

That's till one day, y'all were practicing for y'alls comeback when Winter slipped and twisted her ankle.

"Ouch! Crap!" Winter said while cradling her ankle. The choreographer runs over to winter and asks her where it hurts. Winter then points at her ankle and says "I think I twisted my ankle."

You run over to her and ask "Can you walk or put pressure on it?" You crouched down and put your hand on her shoulder. She said "No I don't think so. I can try."

"Ok. Put your arm around me and I'll help you." You said. She put her around your shoulders and you put your arm around her waist and helped her up. "Alright try to put some weight on it." You said while still holding onto her waist.

"Ouch! I can't put any weight on it." Winter said. "Ok. Y/n since you're the strongest out of all of us here carry her up to y'alls dorm and set her down. If the pain gets worse by tomorrow we will take her to the hospital. Girls, we will call it a day so go get some rest. " Manager Unnie said.

The members were so surprised that you were taking care of Winter. Winter knew that you were the coldest to her so did the members and now they think it's because you secretly liked her.

You picked Winter in bridal style. "Girls, will you get Winter and I stuff?" You asked the rest of the members. "Ya sure thing Y/n. We got y'alls stuff. You go ahead and get Winter into bed." Karina said.

You walked out of the room and went straight for the elevator that leads up to y'alls dorm. You push the elevator with Winters uninjured foot and get into the elevator.

Winter had her head leaned into you. Winter was thinking about why all of the sudden why you were being nice to them all of the sudden. You could sense that she was thinking that so you said "I'm sorry for being cold to all of you. Especially you. I think one of the reasons why I was being cold to you all is that I didn't want y'all to have to be a burden to me when I get the most hate out of y'all. I don't want y'all to get more hate."

"Y/n look at me," Winter said as she lifted her head. You looked down at her. "You wouldn't be a burden to us. We know how much hate you get and we care about your mental health. We don't care about much hate. I don't want you to think that talking to us about your problems is a burden. We are a team as long as you want to be. Share your problems with us or just with one of us. We can wait till you are ready to share."

You had tears in your eyes because you just realized how fucked up you were for not talking to them about stuff. Winter realized that you were crying and said "Oh Y/n. You've been holding all of this hate on your shoulders for a while. Lets us have some."

She caressed your cheek and wiped the tear off of your cheek. The elevator opened and you said, "Let's get you to bed."

You let Winter put her fingerprint in because you had your hands full. "Y/n. I need to shower." Winter said when you walked in.

"Oh yeah. Do... uh... Do you need my help or do you think you can hop in there with one foot?" You asked while blushing thinking about Winter in the shower.

"Hmm. No, I think I can hop in there. Can you just turn the shower on for me and get me and towel?" She asked you while blushing.

"Ya sure. I'll set you down on your bed and then I'll turn on the shower for you and get you a towel." You said. You sat her on the bed and went into the bathroom and got her a towel and turned on the shower.

You went back to her and got her a towel and said "Here you go. I'll get out of your hair once I see your ankle."

She had spandex under her sweatpants so she just took off her sweatpants. You couched in front of her and told her to lift up her leg. She did and you tried to look at her ankle only but your eyes failed you looked at her thighs. She noticed took and blushed. You looked at her and noticed that you'd been caught looking at her like that.

You gained the confidence to look back at her ankle and it was turning purple and getting more swollen so you kissed her ankle. She blushed and laughed.

"You know for as long as I've known you, you've been nothing but cold to me but now I know you are just a romantic. Now let me go shower." Winter said.

You got up and said, "Yes ma'am." You saluted her like a soldier. "You are such a dork too," Winter said. You walked out of the door and shut it and leaned up against it and smiled.

You waited by the door until the shower turned off. You waited just to make sure Winter didn't fall or trip in the shower. "Y/n!" Winter shouted.

You opened up her door and said "Yes?" "Will you help me out of the shower? It is wet on the tile and I don't want to slip." She asked.

"uhh. Yeah." You said and opened up the bathroom door with your eyes close just be sure. "Y/n you can open your eyes. The towel is wrapped around me." Winter said while laughing.

"Oh ok. Put your arms around my neck." You said. She put her arms around your neck and you put your arms under her legs. You carried her bridal style again and put her back on her bed.

You leave her to let her get dressed. She calls out for you to tell you that she's dressed. You walked back to her and lift her back up again to put her back on her headrest.

You grabbed some extra pillows and lifted up her injured ankle to put the pillows under her ankle. You got some ice and wrapped up in a rag and put it on her ankle. "You comfortable?" You asked.

"Yes," Winter said while watching your every move. She realized right now that she has feelings for you. She blushes at that. You look up at her while she's blushing and ask "Why are so flustered?"

You smiled while looking at her like she is the moon. "Ummm. Nothing. I was just thinking about you."

"Oh yeah? Why were you thinking about me?" You asked while leaning in closer to her while looking at her lips.

"Because I just realized that I have feelings for you." She said while looking away. You grabbed her chin to look at you and said "Look at me while you say that."

"I like you Y/n." She said while looking at your lips. You lean in and kiss her. You smiled into the kiss and pull back to look at her.

She smiles and says "I'm guessing that means you like me too?"

"Oh shut up." You say. You kiss her again while holding her face in your hands.

You stop to get air and say "You should rest. I'll go take a shower before I go to relax."

"Ok. Hurry back," she says. "Always." You kiss her on her cheek.

You take a quick shower and come back to Winter's room and see her passed out.

You laugh and take a picture but you don't realize that your phone ringer is on it makes a sound when you take a picture and it wakes up Winter.

"Did you just take a picture of me sleeping?" She asked.

"Maybe." You smiled and walked to the bed. "Do you need anything else?" You asked.

"No. All I need is for you to cuddle me."

"I can do that."

You get on the bed and open up your arms for her to lay her head on your chest. "You need to be nicer to the girls after this. They are worried about you." Winter said.

"I know. I will but for right now you just rest. I'll be here for you when you wake up." You said and kissed the crown of her head.



A/n: Sorry if this is shitty.

#aespa imagine #aespa imagines #Winter #winter imagines #aespa winter

[lungthief]

i saw you reblogged the post about insane stucky fic and was wondering if you had any old favorites… totally for science and not for recommendation purposes…

of course…there are a few stucky fics I hold very near and dear to my heart (granted i haven’t actively looked for stucky fics since like 2017 so these were a few of the Big Ones back in the day, nothing that obscure)

all the angels and the saints is my personal fave of all time <3 lots of catholic imagery/theology talk (which is kind of a running theme in these recs) w a really interesting exploration of how faith/lack thereof informs steve and bucky’s relationship alongside all of the events that make up their storyline (takes place pre-TFA through post-TWS). fun fact: this fic taught me who bertrand russell was

4 minute window is by the same author and i also adore it—mostly about steve and bucky trying to find each other and run away together post-TWS. fun, suspenseful, nice interactions w the other avengers too. the entire series of 4 minute window fics holds a special place in my heart, i reread them relatively frequently

ain’t no grave (can keep my body down) is a DOOZY. oh man. you gotta be in the right mindset to read this one bc it can get Intense when it comes to depictions of violence/bucky’s mental & physical health/how he was treated as the winter soldier/etc., but there are parts of it that are also really fuckin funny. takes place post-TWS as bucky is trying to deprogram himself and steve is trying to find him. it’s a very interesting fic stylistically—you get a lot of different writing styles based on the various POV characters. i haven’t read it in a while so im sure there are parts of it that have aged kinda poorly but i also just remember it being heart-wrenching and evocative and an overall very engaging read.

the last one i’ll mention is the not easily conquered series, which were like THE stucky fics back in the day. AU where steve doesn’t get frozen and instead goes on to marry peggy. lots of “found documents” in addition to typical narrative storytelling. really impressive series of fics even though ive only read them once

anyway. love stucky big fan of those guys unfortunately i don’t have any super varied recs bc i enjoy reading basically the same premise over and over again LOL

#ri answers #marvelous-goose

[mysteriouslytransparentwitch]

back-to-school energy with autumn coming tarot & oracle

finally, I do now even if my intuition tells me that things fall into place in September but will explode February-March. And also it's hot and it must rain but I'm still waiting for the rain, can't wait for autumn, global warming is not a joke.

let's see :

we start with the oracle of the animal people the bison: it is linked to abundance, the success of a project or the success of a business. Have confidence in your initiatives, it teaches you that wealth is above all a question of posture. We cannot be touched by wealth as long as we live with a feeling of lack. It's time to ease your beliefs about money, ease any feelings of injustice or bitterness, transformation is found in gratitude.

with the akashic tarot:

we start with a notion of community, it can be your colleagues or your family or your friends. We have an energy to be together, to regroup, to see each other or to see each other again. You spent a lot of time seeing the things that were wrong with your life over the summer, yet you are told that you are on the cusp of a change of mind. You will begin a new cycle, the birth of an outer or inner change. You have plow enough your fields of life, you have finally found a light in you or outside. You have prayed a lot, written during the period of summer-winter 2023, but it is time to take action.

with Greek mythology: ok lol ok, we start nicely with the energy of perseus, ok we managed to go through a very intense period, we continue to advance on our objectives even if it is sometimes difficult, we hold on, we managed to approach this light/lens with eos. We open a new chapter, we accept all forms of abundance with HYgeia we talk about health, vitality and transformation that will be beneficial in the long term. You work on your feminine and masculine aspect and on your relationship with the world and others and on your fears.

Now something is happening, I don't know if it's going to affect us all or individually. But we have the energy of heracles reversed, we are not protected by someone or by something, we do not see anything happen, we are followed by the energy of Ares the god of war, fights, struggles , suffering, fear then we end with Medusa the chaos (it's a bit like the calm before the storm)

energy oracle:

we work on our self-love, our well-being, our openness to the world and to others, we let the energy circulate, we are approaching the end of healing, we are on a victory of the opening of spirituality and abundance. We still have resistance to fears but you have enough strength to face them. Don't be afraid

oracle of the women's circles:

interesting the notion of the clan has returned, the entourage plays a role during this period, we are once again talking about the patience of trusting the process and cyclical change of certain things, taking advantage of the super moon to make your wishes.

tarot:

we bring our minds together to make the best decision between two visions available to us, the objective is to evolve and move forward towards our projects and/or objectives. A decision must be taken to limit losses (energy, mental, money) we must work as a team, or work on several aspects without being deceitful. The situation is currently blocked for an emperor (it can be you, your boss, your spouse) someone who has power. We decide to transform this indelicate and uncomfortable situation into something profitable and prosperous and solid. There is an energy of loneliness here, we pray a lot for the situation to stabilize

#tarot reading #guidance #intuition #fall #september #tarot

[peachambrosia]

PEACHAMBROSIA - a private, selective, independent smut-forward multimuse blog. written by shaya ( sh-eye-uh ), she/her/herself, 21+ dash-only, using beta editor & x-kit extensions.

my general rules are as follows.

○ you must be over 18 to write with me in general. ○ if you do not have your name/alias and your age listed somewhere visible on your blog, i will not follow you back. ○ activity will fluctuate depending on replies i have and how my mental health fares. ○ i can format to fit your aesthetics, but otherwise, i tend to work in regular-sized font, single spaces, and regular-sized gifs for replies since i have vision problems. ○ banned plots, banned faceclaims, and anything that might trigger me or generally give me the ick are case-by-case and can be spoken about privately.

and, of course, if there's anything that you might need from me - things tagged a certain way, to talk about a plot point or dynamic, or just to say hello and see if we can write together - my IMs are always open and i'm honestly always lurking, so please feel free to stop by !

muses & their faceclaims, aesthetics, tropes, and more under the cut ! updated : 4-11-24 !

jack foster. paul rudd. he/him. 50-55. ○ feels like… the headrush after having kissed someone for a little too long, morning sun on fresh and untouched snow, laughing so hard your abdomen aches, long road trips through mountains. ○ choice tropes : teacher and single father, fake dating/marriage, brand-new neighbors.

dante salvador. pedro pascal. he/him. 45-50. ○ feels like… freshly-chopped cedar wood, shades of blue on a white canvas, reuniting with your dog after being away for so long, when the lights go down just before a concert begins. ○ choice tropes : small town man meets big-city love interest, businessman and call girl/escort, the artist and their muse.

atlas montague. alan ritchson. he/him. 35-40. ○ feels like... gentle fingers pressing into a fresh bruise, a house shaking with thunder, midnight roadtrips, the strum of an electric guitar, flower petals held in calloused hands. ○ choice tropes : bodyguard and celebrity, flower shop owner & tattoo shop owner, football player and cheerleader.

siobhan kingston. madelyn cline. she/her. 25-30. ○ feels like… bass pulsing from music speakers, ripping open gift wrapping paper excitedly, lace against skin, ice skating on a frozen winter lake in the early morning. ○ choice tropes : prolific academic rivals to secret lovers, roommates with benifits, rich kids who only have each other.

annabelle han. lola tung. she/her. 21-25. ○ feels like… moving into a brand new house in a brand new city as a young adult, ripe gala apples pulled from a backyard tree, quiet beach towns holding too many secrets, spinning around in a sparkling dress until the euphoria makes you dizzy. ○ choice tropes : childhood friends to lovers, corruption of the innocent, the princess and the underling.

#indie rp #indie mumu rp #indie oc rp #indie smut rp #indie bi rp #indie kink rp #ooc ! ♡ pinned #ooc ! ♡ likes are okay on this but please do not reblog!

[emerald-evans]

so winter can find his way home

pairing - curtis everett x woc!reader 

w/c - 1k

summary - curtis finds his way back to you 

warnings - 18+, reference to past trauma, mental health, mentions of physical violence, smut, fluff, hurt/comfort 

a/n - wow this is my first little curtis fic that isn’t just porn. this takes place at the end of snowpiercer, after the train crashed. now, I am a huge slut for the grumpy guy & sunshine girl trope, so this sort of embodies that. also, this is a standalone fic, but I’m thinking about expanding these two into their own little universe with other little drabbles. I hope you enjoy hehe :) 

also, a huge huge huge shout out to @jtargaryen18 Out of Darkness and @sweater-daddiesdumbdork Life is Short so Make it Sweet & Life After Snowpiercer & Wilford’s Demands, who are responsible for my obsession with this man LOL (everyone go check out their masterlist RIGHT. NOW.) 

::edit:: I started this like a year ago LMAO

Italics reference the past 

Please leave comment/reblog to let me know what you think! 

-----

Curtis was like this sometimes, cold and abashed. Disconnected. Like a stray animal newly taken away from it’s home. You knew not to pry, pushing him to open up will only cause him to shelter into himself to avoid engulfing you into his gloomy aura.

It was hard for Curtis to pull himself out of the dark memories that routinely plagued his brain. Reasonably so, the memories of the tail-end and crash of the train bonding his despair deep into his bones. It was all his fault, wasn’t it? 

He was the reason Edgar was dead. 

He was the reason the engine stopped. 

He was the reason his people are trying to survive in the remains of the train. 

“No”, you told him gently as you slowly cradled his face. Even after years together he still tried to hide his feelings from you. He was the reason the tail-end was now free. He was the reason Wilford was dead. And he was the reason they had a chance at life again. 

While only a few years older than you, you and Curtis met after you boarded the train. The initial chaos of the first few months on the train had left all many passengers in a state of frenzy and distrust. 

But you were something different weren’t you? Lending a helping hand where you could, and spending your days trying to keep the children occupied. In the beginning, you were truly just a child yourself, so how wise could one be at age of 15 anyway, you remarked. No, maybe you weren’t wise, Curtis thought. You are compassionate and determined, and you were his light. 

Curtis watched you as you tried the gather the children together to get into line. Sending each of them a gentle smile as you managed to bring them together. Your heart went out for them. Curtis saw it in your eyes. The love you had for these children, and your underlying fear for their future 

Yes, Curtis saw you. He had seen you before, helping out with the children as much as you could. Now he was really taking a look at you. Dark hair, the caramel-beige colour of your skin, and the radiant smile you would occasionally send his way when you caught him starring. The layers of your thick clothes hide your curves underneath. The same curves Curtis would eventually find himself caressing every night as you soundly slept against him in his tiny cot. 

He could hear Gilliam’s voice at the back of his mind. “Curtis, my boy. She would be good for you. We all deserve our little pieces of wonder even after all of this. Why don’t you just try?”. 

“You know why I can’t.” Curtis stoically whispers back. 

Yes. It is better to hold a woman with both hands 

He knew he didn’t deserve you, not after what he did. So he kept his distance. Separating himself for the four corners of the cold locomotive was easy enough. Their routine was never set in stone. Try to sleep, as the everlasting rumble of the train tracks keep their conscious wide awake through the night. 

You were such a light in their ever-evolving darkness, how would he ever make you happy? 

But love isn’t earned. Worthy is not something you have to be to deserve devotion from another. Curtis was learning this the hard way. 

What wasn’t hard? Loving you. It was so easy for him, it was so unlike their constant and familiar struggle it even made Curtis a little uncomfortable. You were well aware of his past, hell you were there living it with him. Yet, you always had the same gleam of hope and curiosity in your eyes when your gaze fell on him. 

While you were all surrounded by the trauma that came with living in the tail-end, it seemed so archaic for Curtis to have his dark days slow him down. After all, you had all suffered. He had to lead his people now. A few days after the crash, most of the residents of the tail end dispersed themselves through various rooms that were previously occupied by the front-end passengers. Luckily, one of the remaining passengers of the front-end had enough mechanical experience to fix the damaged back up generators that ran underneath the foundation of the train. Each section was equipped with enough energy to keep the water melting/recycling system and electricity running for the next year. After the explosion, a portion of the healthy men sought after whatever hints of life they would find outside the four walls of the train. To their surprise, the people were able to fall within a routine fairly quick. 

Even then, there is still work to be done, he would tell himself. 

---

Your kisses. Your kisses gave him energy, he tells you.

You found him sitting on the thick cushion of the chair sitting in the corner of your dimly lit bedroom. Closing his eyes as you gently climb into his lap, he felt your fingers run up and down his arms before stopping to rest on his chest. You knew what he needed, Curtis retreated into himself enough times for you to help him pull himself out. 

He frowned as you climbed into his lap. Distancing himself from you to avoid pulling you into his darkness. Your fingers remained on his skin. Feeling the way his energy wants to be fed, wanting to find a friend. 

His body felt tense under the first press of your lips against his, posture rigid as an attempt to keep up his guard. His reluctant spirit slowly wafted away as you submerge yourself deeper into his greed. 

You made it hard for him to know anything else but you in moments like his. Your sounds, gasps, and hues. Just you. 

The press of his sweat-soaked skin against yours, gently rutting up into you as his heavy grunts fell out of his mouth into yours. 

“Open your eyes” You mumble against his lips. He cries out and does as you said. Pushing deeper, your hips snap against his.

He’s disoriented. Savouring the feelings of his warmth blossoming into your core, you stayed for a moment, chest-to-chest, breathing in each others air as you calmed down from your high. Slowly, he brought his unfocused vision up to you. His breath hitching when he finds a mirrored devotion in the decadent brown swirls of your eyes. I’m here with you, they seemed to say. 

Winter had found his way home. 

-----

Please take a moment to drop a comment <3

All images were found on Pinterest

#emerald writes #curtis everett x reader #curtis everett x woc!reader #curtis everett smut #curtis everett fluff #curtis everett fic

[medpulse]

Winter: A Majestic Symphony of Love and Drama

Ah, my dear friend, let me weave a tale of winter that will leave you breathless and yearning for more. As it dances on the edge of passion and drama, winter holds a captivating allure for those who dare to embrace its icy embrace.

Imagine a world transformed into a winter wonderland, where nature itself becomes a stage for the most enchanting love story. As the snowflakes fall delicately from the heavens, they create a soft, ethereal blanket that inspires us with romance and mystery. The air is filled with a sense of anticipation, as if the very universe is waiting with bated breath for the grand performance to begin.

In this wintry symphony, nature lovers - like us - find solace and inspiration. The barren trees, stripped of their vibrant foliage, stand tall and proud, as if mourning the loss of summer's warmth. But amidst their naked branches, a glimmer of hope emerges. Delicate icicles dangle like crystal chandeliers, casting a dazzling display of light and shadow upon the snowy canvas.

As the sun sets, painting the sky with hues of fiery orange and deep purple, the landscape transforms into a scene straight out of a fairy tale. The moon, a radiant muse, casts its gentle glow upon the world, illuminating the path for star-crossed lovers to find each other in the wintry embrace. It is a time when hearts beat faster, and the warmth of love becomes a shining beacon in the cold.

In this dramatic season, bugs and flies depart in peace, blessing us with time to solely relate on the captivating beauty that surrounds us. We can stroll hand in hand, leaving footprints in the untouched snow, as if marking our journey through this magical realm. We can share stolen kisses, our breath mingling in the frosty air, creating a sweet symphony of love that resonates with the very essence of winter.

So, my dear friend, let us surrender to the allure of winter's romance and drama. Let us immerse ourselves in its icy embrace, allowing our hearts to thaw and bloom amidst the frozen landscape. As it is in the depths of winter, that love finds its truest form, and the world becomes a stage for an epic love story that will be whispered throughout the ages.

Yet although winter shows much love and affection to us with its unique beauty, does it have another face stained with guilt and sadness, a face where the coin flips and sheds on us a cloud of weakness, illness, and misery. In this gripping edition of our magazine, we'll unravel the intricate web of illnesses that winter weaves, leaving no stone unturned.

As we delve into the depths of winter's icy grip, we'll uncover the chilling truth about some of the winter aggregated illnesses, such as Cold. This relentless foe who seems to strike with a vengeance during the colder months, leaving us sniffling and sneezing in its wake. And the drama doesn't end there, my friend. Winter casts its shadow not only on our physical health but also on our mental well-being. The haunting specter of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) looms, enveloping us in a cloak of sadness and melancholy. But fear not, for we shall arm ourselves with the knowledge to combat these unseen enemies and emerge victorious. We’ll explore the depths of such conditions and much more, shedding light on their symptoms and offering strategies to navigate the darkest hours of winter.

And what about the famous doctors who have emerged from the hallowed halls of Kasr Alainy Medical School? Prepare to be amazed as we unveil the stories of these medical legends who have left an indelible mark on the world. Their journeys are as captivating as any epic tale, inspiring us to reach for greatness in our own pursuits.

Now, my beloved reader, let us embark on this dramatic journey together. Grab a warm drink, settle into a cozy corner, and immerse yourself in the captivating world of winter's illnesses and the resilience of the human spirit.

Writer: Mohamed Ashraf

Editors: Sarah Sallam and Mariam Elkholy

Designer: Nada M. Mokhtar

❄️❄️❄️

[themarydragon]

Love-Lost-Found Q&A

They’re not technically FAQ because nobody’s had a chance to ask anything yet, but here’s my extended author’s note for Lost and Found (and the upcoming prequel, Loved and Lost).

1.       Where have you been/What took so long/You haven’t posted in years/WTF

As I am sure has been the case for most everyone else, the last 3-5 years have SUCKED. I lucked out, and everyone I love most has survived (cancer and heart attacks and covid, oh my), but being a full time nurse and full time graduate (nursing) student during a global pandemic consumed every spare spoon I had. We scraped together the down payment on our forever home and moved this summer, and I went on sabbatical once we got settled, so my plan is to ease back into fandom while I watch the snow fall and otherwise hibernate this winter.

2.       New fic what dis? Loved & Lost & Found is a two-part Modern AU of Breath of the Wild. “What if the Sheikah technology wasn’t lost? What would a high-tech Hyrule look like?” I’ll start off with Lost and Found, which starts roughly halfway through our story. Loved and Lost is first chronologically but I’ll post it second. Much like BOTW, my hope is to slowly reveal memories and plot points as they are recalled by Link. Once he gets his memory back, I’ll put Lost and Found on hold while posting Loved and Lost (the backstory). It means you’ll get left hanging for awhile if you’re reading it as I post, but (!!) the story is COMPLETE so there will be no hiatus or risk of abandonment. If you REALLY don’t like the order I post it in, just give it a couple months and then you can consume the whole thing in one go in whatever order you want.

3.       You’ve got this character relationship wrong/that’s not canon/well ACTUALLY its THIS I’ve combined the principal players from both eras in BOTW, so individuals who are supposed to be distantly related and 100 years apart are contemporaries. I am completely aware that this is absolutely not canon and I did it intentionally. Every ‘OC’ I’ve created to flesh out the world has a name stolen from some other LoZ side/background character, either in BoTW or older games, and generally that was just so the names were canonically Hylian and NOT to indicate this OC was that character, etc. For example, this Link’s Princess Zelda is meant to be the BotW Zelda, and NOT the one whose name she bears (that will make sense when we get to it).

4.       Trigger Warnings and Themes Much like canon, BotW Link is grievously injured and wakes up with no memories. We start off with a hospital scene and I do brush on some body dysphoria. There are discussions of PTSD and mental health. There is canon-typical death and violence, although with some modern arms & armaments (i.e. more bullet wounds and fewer gratuitous stabbings, the explosions stay about the same). Hyrule is militarized, but this is meant to mirror canon and is not intended to be social commentary. In world building I have given the non-Hylian races of Hyrule a little more biological diversity, such as making Gorons agender and Zora more fishlike. While this is a Zelink fic, they’re both bisexual disasters. There is a running joke about Link wrecking a motorcycle.  Author is an asshole and wants to make you feel things, but only out of love and never out of malice.

5.       Posting Schedule In the past I’ve posted every 4 days. Once a week is not enough, but trying to pick a specific day or days has always bit me in the ass. I’ll get a feel for this as we go. I haven’t edited this into chapters yet – its still two long ass word files – and I have a couple of scenes that happen in between that I haven’t yet decided where I’ll put them, so I do not have a final chapter count yet. Also a background character has turned into my new favorite (to rival Higgins as a throw-away who becomes a main character) and I might have to write her story on its own and post a part 3. Shit’s dark, though, so we’ll see whether I can do it justice. #mamalou

#botw #modern au #fic #fic author