#i actually really like this one which sadly means it will probably do poorly but so it goes LOL

[wigglesdtuff]

Flower of Onigashima

#nico robin #one piece #onigashima #wano #daily wtt robin #day 84 #i actually really like this one which sadly means it will probably do poorly but so it goes LOL #i got a silly blanket with her onigashima outfit on it so i wanted to draw this fit

[kyutepups]

Someone recently asked me why I enjoyed Final Destination 3 so much, and I accidentally wrote a mini-analysis so here you guys go. (I didn’t proofread it so I hope it makes sense)

Well, where do I even start. First off, the characters are extremely well written and easy to connect with, unlike any of the other movies (besides the first one).

The acting is absolutely phenomenal and the pure fear Mary Elizabeth Winstead (Wendy) managed to portray is actually mind boggling. I will admit Lewis (Texas Battle) was poorly written, being a stereotypical black jock never really plays well. But the other characters have their own uniqueness to them that we didn’t really see in some of the other movies. Ashlyn (Crystal Lowe) and Ashley (Chelan Simmons) were stereotypical “mean” girls but they were actually extremely nice and sweet in the movies, just girls who were kinda airheaded. Frankie (Sam Easton) was a weird ass pervert, but you have to admit his character was extremely (and sadly) realistic. Ian (Kris Lemche) and Erin (Alexz Johnson) were teenage dirtbag assholes which really balances out the ditzyness and almost airy feel of the other characters. Ian being super smart was honestly a refresher in the series, because not many people did try and apply other “laws” and “theories” to the equation. Julie (Amanda Crew) was that asshole teen little sister who acts like a brat but truly isn’t, which (if you’re a sibling) is so easy to relate and connect to. Kevin (Ryan Merriman) was a jerk in the beginning, but as the story went on you could kind of see him change and feel for him and his situation (at least I did. I know not many people can, but that’s cause of trauma for me…) And the little screen time we had for Jason (Jesse Moss) and Carrie (Gina Holden) made viewers feel torn about their death. With the 10 minutes they had, they were SUCH sweethearts and it breaks your heart to see them die like that especially knowing Wendy tried to get them off.

The plot itself is amazing, a control freak who now has the knowledge she isn’t even in control of her own life and death, as well as trying to stop everyone around hers demise. It adds a more realistic level to this that wasn’t portrayed in the others. She wants to be in control, but she can’t because that’s not the way death works. The clues being in the photos rather than in visions is genuinely so cool, although it was a bit of a reach at times. I found that it being a group of people who already know each other rather than strangers really drives the message further and makes the audience have a deeper reaction to the movie. The deaths itself were the best in any movie by far, and there’s no arguing on that. The tanning beds, the weights, the nail gun, the flag pole impalement, even the premonition Wendy had at the end that maybe (probably definitely) did happen with the train. Each death in this movie was beautiful, and the editing and everything about this movie is just gorgeous.

I think what worked for it was the fact it’s. Stand-alone, and not a continuation of the first two movies. Also, they had a lot more cool features than the other movies, like that whole “choose their fate” thing in the DVDs (I think). This movie is straight up just fun and a refresher from the others. The only movie I would consider being better than it is the 5th one, but that’s simply cause of the plot twist at the end and the cool thing they added with the “take a life, earn a life”

Anyways I hope this makes sense please tell me it does 😭

#final destination #final destination 3 #movie analysis #i love final destination

[password-door-lock]

“Merry Christmas, boss!”

Your words startle Unknown from his work. For one thing, you're practically yelling, when you know that he requires silence to think well— it's as if everything he tells you goes in one ear and out the other. Moreover, he was by no means expecting you to try and celebrate that godforsaken holiday today. Unknown was elated— or as close to elated as he's ever going to get while that redhead is still breathing— when you chose not to bother him on Christmas morning. He should have known that you'd have something else up your sleeve. You truly never fail to annoy him.

“It's not Christmas anymore, prince(ss),” he reminds you in a syrupy tone. “You must be confused.” This would be warning enough for somebody with a normal set of self preservation instincts— sadly, you appear to possess very few of these, because you don’t seem remotely deterred.

“What?” You ask, sounding genuinely confused. ”How is it not Christmas? You took me on the eighteenth of March, right? And I've been counting  off every single day— it has been 282 days; I’m sure of it! So how is it not Christmas?”

Unknown turns around to face you now. He gets the feeling that he isn't going to get very much work done if you're planning to continue being noisy, and (although he'd never admit it aloud) this conversation is shaping up to be far more interesting than some numbers on a screen. “You must have messed it up,” he offers, unable to contain his glee at the idea. Serves you right, for trying to waste his time like this.

“No, you messed it up,” you pout. Unknown wonders what he’d have to do to instill a healthy fear of himself in you. “Because you took away my phone. If I still had it, I would just know the date without even having to make tally marks on a napkin, and—”

“Give me the napkin.” Unknown is going to nip this in the bud right now. If you don’t have anything to write on, then you won’t have any way to record the date, and you won’t try and ambush him with poorly-timed holiday celebrations. If you wanted to plan parties, then you should have just gone into that apartment in the first place— now that you’re with Unknown, you’re going to have to start playing by his rules. Although, if you haven’t figured that out after so many months by his side, he’s beginning to think that you’re a bit of a lost cause.

“And now you're taking my planner?” You regard him with wide eyes. “This is too cruel. How do you expect me to be productive when I don't know what day it is?” But there's this gleam in your eyes that tells him you're just playing around.

“You never knew what day it was, sweetheart,” he points out, “I got you on the nineteenth of March, so you’ve been counting wrong this whole time.” Unknown doesn't think he'll be forgetting that date any time soon. It would have been the day when his plan was set in motion, if you had only followed his instructions.

“Okay, fine, you can have it, since it's wrong anyway,” you grumble, “That's actually good, since I don't have any wrapping paper for your present. Two birds with one stone.” You pick up something you've left sitting on the couch and wrap the napkin— which is, indeed, covered with hundreds of pencil marks— around it before handing the entire parcel to Unknown.

“What is this?” He demands.

“Your Christmas gift,” you explain, suddenly serious. “I wanted to get you one of those 'world's greatest boss' mugs, but since somebody won't let me order anything online, I had to make you something instead. Open it.”

“You don't get to order me around,” he warns, “Try again.”

You roll your eyes before establishing yourself on his lap, where you should probably remain, if you had time to procure any kind of gift for him without his knowledge. Clearly, he hasn’t been keeping you under proper supervision. “We're doing this now? Really? Can’t we have a single normal conversation, just one time?” You pout at him. Apparently, Unknown's glare is the only answer you need to any of your sundry questions, because after a bit of grumbling, you seem to acquiesce. “Fine, fine. Could you please open it, please? Thank you.”

“Better,” Unknown decides. Truth be told, he is a little bit curious— he's never let you out of his sight for longer than a few minutes. How did you manage to put together a gift for him without his knowledge? Whatever it is feels solid and sturdy.  He pulls the hastily-crumpled napkin off of the item in question and holds it up to the light of his monitors to get a better look.

“It's a bracelet,” you explain, “I know you wear them, so I thought you'd like it better than anything else that I could make.”

Unknown turns the bracelet over in his hands. It consists of a series of interlocking brown and white squares, all of which are sharp and thick. Upon closer inspection, Unknown discovers nutrition information on one of the white squares. Is it made from candy wrappers? “You gave me garbage.” 

“Upcycled garbage, yes,” you nod enthusiastically. “I've been stealing your candy wrappers and washing the insides for months, you know. I was going to make you a whole jewelry set with a necklace and everything, but I didn't have time, since you're always watching me like a hawk. This is all I could manage.” 

Unknown has no fucking clue why you would waste your time on something like this. You had every opportunity to let the Yuletide pass unmarked, but instead, you spent weeks collecting trash, cleaning it, and folding it into an ugly piece of jewelry, just so you'd have something to give him. Seeing as he's never received anything for Christmas before, he doesn't know if the gifts are usually this underwhelming— but he does know what your intentions were. “Next time you want to get me something, you can just try being quiet.”

You grin, like you don't care how much he hates your gift. Like you don't expect any thanks for all the unnecessary work that you put into the stupid thing. Like you didn't do it for him to thank you— you did it because you wanted to brighten his day, even if you weren’t necessarily very successful. “Next time, tell me that before Christmas so that I can take it into account when I'm thinking of a gift.”

Unknown rolls his eyes at you and spins his chair around so that he's facing the screen again. This has been an interesting diversion, but he doesn't have the luxury of taking long breaks from the pursuit of his revenge. “I just told you. Won’t you remember?”

“No,” you grumble playfully, “Since now I don't have anywhere to write it down.”

Unknown shoves the crumpled napkin back into your hand. ”Merry Christmas, prince(ss),” he coos, patting you on the head. It’s a generous gift, all things considered— he was seriously planning on throwing that napkin away. 

“Gee, thanks.” You might sound sarcastic, but you still pocket the napkin, just as he thought you would. Thankfully, after this, you give him the peace and quiet that he needs to make some progress with his work.

It isn't until you're snoring softly across the room hours later, unwilling to be separated from Unknown even while you sleep, that he finds himself absently reaching for the bracelet as he works, running his fingers over the sharp edges and smooth tops of the interlocking squares. He'd never be caught dead wearing it— it's made of garbage, for fuck's sake— but Unknown will reluctantly admit (if only to himself) that he likes the feel of it. As far as first-ever Christmas presents go, he supposes that it isn't too terrible, though he'd never say as much to you.

#I've been brainrotting for a while about what kind of gifts MC would be able to get for Unknown in an assistant au situation #Because think about it #There's no way he'd let us order stuff online #I feel like we would have to get creative lol #mystic messenger #mystic messenger drabble #choi saeran #saeran choi

[thequietmanno1]

Thelreads, MHA 278, Replies Part 2

1) "oh ouch, I think that Midnight definitely broke something on that fall”- She not only fell two stories through some solid tree branches, I think those rubble chunks crushed her underneath on the way down.

2) “Alright Midnight, I believe at you, you definitely has a plan ready right now, don’t you? There’s no way we gonna let that thing reach Shigaraki, oh no, you will solve this problem, for sure”- She can’t solve the problem, but she’s got a direct line to the smartest student in 1A for some aid in getting it fixed.

3) “Or maybe she’ll just synthesize a copy of Midnight’s gas- wait, can she even do that? I mean, if she knew the formula she could, I suppose? Can she create a gas? I feel like we already talked about this before but I don’t remember which consensus we reached”- It doesn’t have to be Midnight’s gas specifically, just a very strong aesthetic. And if you evaporated it, I guess it would become a gaseous form, but as it stands it’s actually more effective for it to be a liquid, so they can directly inject it into Machia’s body without it getting blown away or dispersed otherwise. I don’t know how midnight’s gas would have worked up against Dabi’s fires and the hot updrafts they create, but I bet it wouldn’t have been that good.

4) “oh no Midnight, she has no idea, it’s not like they couldn’t see a woman flying through the skies and then crashing down”- Well, most of them actually didn’t. it’s a little hard to tell, but Machia is blitzing across the forest landscape, so he tossed Mt lady aside several miles back and has nearly reached the kids by the time she catches back up. His size and his speed mean he’s like a mountain moving at the speed of a bullet train, and just as unstoppable.

5) “MIDNIGHT PLEASE STOP RAISING FLAGS THERE WE KINDA CAN’T SPARE THE TIME FOR THAT”- In her defence, she doesn’t tell the kids to fight Machia themselves, she tells them to make the sedatives, pass them onto any adult heroes around and then get out of the danger zone. Choosing to engage with Machia and cut out the middle man is Momo’s decision, but Midnight was only expecting the kids to try and inject Machia if there wasn’t anybody else who could do it for them, and even then, only because of the loss of life he’d bring otherwise. Sadly, the kids having all been evacuated from the front lines means that there really aren’t any adults around to aid them, so they’ve got to be the heroes who’ll save the day themselves this time.

6) “MOMO PLEASE DON’T DOUBT YOURSELF

WE ALL DEPEND ON YOU NOW”- Had it not been for the confidence-boosting chat she and Shoto had against Aizawa and Shoto reaffirming how amazing she is, I actually think Momo would have cracked under the pressure here. It’s a lot to ask of her, making a call that could decide whether or not her friends will live to see tomorrow, or do nothing and take the risk of the damage that Machia will unleash. Obviously, he’s gotta be stopped, but she’s being asked to weigh the likelihood of their success and survival in a split second. It’s just neat seeing how the small events like that come back to have an impact on the kids later on when the situation truly becomes serious for them.

7) “ALRIGHT, SO I ASSUME SHE WANTS TO KNOW HOW LONG SHE HAS TO SYNTHESIZE THE GAS, AND HOW MUCH OF IT SHE’LL NEED BASED ON HIS SIZE. MUDMAN IS PROBABLY MEANT TO SLOW HIM DOWN SO THEY CAN HIT HIM WITH IT”- More like how long they can afford to get into position for the most optimal plan of attack, since Momo made that serum in a second and made enough for everybody to have an chance at injecting it into Machia

8) “MT LADY IS STILL KICKING

UNLIKE KAMUI AND MIDNIGHT, YOU AINT GONNA PUT THIS MOUNTAIN DOWN”- Well, Kamui’s helping too, but even with them both getting beaten up the villains, nether one is breaking down…which bodes poorly for their chance of surviving this, or how damaged they’ll be in the aftermath. Machia isn’t even really fighting them right now, he’s just pushing past them and ignoring their attempts, and they’ve still gotten this banged up because of how unstoppable he is.

9) “HELL FUCKING YEAH MOMO! THAT’S THE SPIRIT!

TIME TO PUT THE GIANT TO SLEEP”- Time to beat Jack’s record for Giant-slaying…

@thelreads

#my hero academia #bnha #chapter replies #thelreads #mha278

[rapifessor]

Something I really want to see but will probably never happen in Genshin Impact is a Raid Boss battle.

I really want there to be an enemy so powerful that you’re required to face it in co-op with other players. This would make for a much more meaningful and exciting co-op experience which is something I haven’t seen since Version 1.1 and the Unreconciled Stars event. Genshin Impact’s multiplayer right now is rather unfulfilling as it mostly boils down to joining other players’ worlds to fish or collect additional resources. And the game is so easy that being a solo player doesn’t ever pose a challenge. The closest thing is the Spiral Abyss, which you have to challenge solo anyway.

Another thing that could benefit from the existence of Raid Bosses is food. For all the different food items in Genshin Impact, the vast majority of them are essentially useless. It’s mostly due to how food is balanced and the lack of variety in food items, but even in general there are very few reasons to use food as an endgame player outside of certain niche situations. Obviously Adventure-type foods are always useful but ATK and DEF-boosting foods as well as potions are almost completely unnecessary unless you’re trying to get ultra-fast Domain clears or trying to hit huge damage numbers. Neither of those things serve any practical purpose.

The only use I’ve found for stat-boosting food and potions is in fighting max-level Weekly Bosses with an under-developed team or one that’s poorly suited to fighting a particular boss, which is something I only do because I’m trying to build Friendship on my characters.

That’s why I want a Raid Boss that really challenges players and forces them to work as a team in a party of four. Players could coordinate Elemental Resonances, reactions, team comps, and roles to play during the fight. One player could be a dedicated healer like Barbara, using their attacks to apply Hydro and keep the party healthy while taking heavy damage from the boss. Elemental Bursts can be used strategically to dodge attacks and heal after taking a lot of damage. Certain Constellation levels on different characters would become much more useful, like Layla’s C1 providing shields to other party members.

Seriously, how fucking cool would that be? The possibilities are endless and I honestly believe this is the kind of thing that Genshin Impact needs to take its gameplay to the next level and really take advantage of the amazing combat system it has. Adding these kinds of MMO elements could make it feel so much larger and more connected.

Sadly, I doubt something like this will ever come to fruition. As we’ve learned, HoYoverse isn’t interested in adding real endgame content to Genshin Impact, which is a damn shame. They’re very insistent on it being a casual experience, which I will grant is key to its widespread appeal and success. But that doesn’t mean it can’t also be a rewarding experience for players who want to get something more out of it.

Look at Super Smash Bros. for example. While the most recent entry in the series (Ultimate) is lacking in advanced techniques, other games in the series have had such techniques that enhance the competitive experience while having zero impact on the casual experience.

What I’m saying is that Genshin Impact’s casual players aren’t losing anything or being “stressed out” by the existence of a higher level of play. High skill level endgame content does not come at the cost of the alternative, and it should be obvious that the most dedicated Genshin Impact players are endgame players, people who see more than just waifus and pretty scenery in this game.

Why HoYoverse doesn’t think it’s worth it to keep its most passionate players happy by giving them something more to do, more things to work towards is beyond me. It’s probably the same reason every corporation fails to understand what’s best for their product: they’re tone-deaf and completely, unbelievably disconnected from what’s actually happening with their brand.

But I digress. Even though it’s unlikely, there’s a slim possibility that stuff like this could happen with Genshin Impact. The potential is there, just waiting to be used. And who knows, maybe someday if the community makes enough noise, we can get HoYoverse to make it happen.

#genshin impact #rapifessor rambles #thoughts #ideas #long post #concepts

[brokentoys]

@the-blackened-dove​ SENT:

// Your Riddler is the most respectful, skillful, and compelling take on a mentally ill villain I have ever seen. From his addiction, psychosis, attachment issues, to even his most lucid moments of intelligence and charisma, you portray him as complex and multifaceted. He's never 'just' a genius, or 'just' a delusional criminal. He feels like a complete person.

omg !!  This  is  so  kind!!  As  I’ve  said  plenty  of  times  before,  I  REALLY  do  think  Ed’s  mental  illnesses  are  a  very  important  part  of  his  character.  I  mean,  if  you’re  gonna  have  the  characters  go  to  a  psychiatric  hospital  rather  than  a  prison,  I  think  those  mental  illnesses  should  be  explored,  because  obviously  they’re  important.  And  I  want  to  emphasize  that  NOT  every  mentally  ill  criminal  goes  to  a  hospital  instead  of  a  prison.  If  you  go  to  a  hospital,  you’re  actually  INNOCENT,  and  not  a  convict.  This  is  “found  guilty  by  reason  of  insanity.”  And  to  get  this,  the  criminal  HAS  TO  BE  seen  as  not  in  control  of  his  own  actions,  that  the  criminal  doesn’t  understand  what  they  were  doing,  or  they  wouldn’t  have  done  said  crime  if  they  were  mentally  aware,   and/or  didn’t  suffer  from  a  delusion.  Therefore,  nobody  with  depression  or  NPD  (which,  DeeCee  now  seems  to  think  is  all  Ed  has  -  and  a  poorly  depicted  version  of  it  to  the  point  where  it’s  just  arrogance.)  wouldn’t  get  you  in  a  hospital.  I  mention  this  because  if  seeing  as  many  (but  not  all)  of  the  rogues  go  to  the  hospital,  it’ll  mean  they  are  severely  mentally  ill.  And  if  they  are,  I  think  it’s  important  to  explore  that.

And  yes,  I  know  many  people  (thanks  to  some  stupid  comics/depictions)  will  say  “but  Arkham  IS  a  prison!  It  was  just  turned  into  one  because  of  too  many  criminals  in  Gotham  -  the  jail  wasn’t  big  enough  to  fit  them!”  But  if  that’s  the  case,  why  are  there  still  doctors  roaming  around  Arkham?  Yes,  I  know  some  people  will  also  argue  they  pit  criminals  up  with  actual  patients  due  to  not  enough  space  in  prison.  But  like,  we  have,  canonically  seen,  many  of  the  rogues  receive  therapy  sessions  with  doctors,  as  well  as  medications.  Also,  Blackgate  exists.  And  even  if  Blackgate  is  full.  Gotham  is  in  New  Jersey...  they’d  -  they’d  just  take  the  criminals  to  a  neighboring  city’s  prison  lmao.  Also,  they  would’ve  removed  the  “asylum”  from  the  name.

Anyway,  as  I  said  -  Eddie’s  mental  illnesses  are  very  important  because  I  feel  like  they  should  be.  Also,  because  I  find  him  to  be  very  relatable  -  and  an  accurate  depiction  of  his  mental  illnesses  when  he’s  written  well.  (Which  sadly  AND  SURPRISINGLY,  seems  to  be  only  in  older  comics.)

When  characters  question  if  Ed’s  brilliance  is  genuine,  or  if  he’s  just  a  “madman,”  I  answer  with  another  question;  why  not?  Someone,  or  a  character  doesn’t  have  to  be  just  one  thing.  Eddie  is  both;  he’s  a  genius  who  struggles  with  (untreated)  mental  illness.  I  really  want  to  make  Eddie  feel...  well,  real!  I’m  glad  to  hear  I’m  doing  a  good  job  on  it!

I  apologize  for  the  LONG  ASS  ramble  here  -  most  of  it  was  probably  unneeded,  and  just  me  spilling  my  thoughts  lol.  But  thank  you  so  very  much  for  this!  It  always,  ALWAYS  means  a  whole  lot.

#theblackenddove #( 🧩 ✧ INFERIOR PUPPETEER ✧ | OOC ) #( 🧩 ✧ SENT TO ARKHAM ✧ | INBOX )

[sometimesrosy]

So I have a friend who I would swear is obsessed with thinking people are rude. I try to weigh the situations she finds rude to try to give her the benefit of the doubt. I'm known for being empathic. So I'm wondering it's possible that I'm not being understanding enough or if there are just people out there who want to misinterpret their interactions. What is even more perplexing is that she's actually socially aware in other aspects.

You know, I wouldn't like to armchair diagnose her without even knowing the details, but there are lots of reasons a person might think everyone is rude to her.

She might have had experiences where everyone WAS rude to her. So she reacts as if she is still coming from that place.

She might have once been one of those SUPER nice people who never thought anyone was ever being rude, and ended up being taken advantage of and treated poorly by those people she never held accountable. I used to be like that and there were some problems. I don't think I've gone over to her direction, but I'm not nearly as nice as I used to be.

And maybe you ARE being too empathetic because it is sadly true that some people do NOT mean well. Some people mean to be rude. Some people mean to bully. If you always think people mean well and don't mean their insults, you might actually be misinterpreting their actions. Or you might be allowing them to get away with their "nice" responses when they say they're just being honest or pretending that they didn't mean to be rude. Not everyone is actually responding in good faith and they're only pretending to be nice, while keeping up the social front that allows them to be rude, abusive, bigoted or racist underneath the "polite" front.

Then again, maybe she has something called rejection sensitive dysphoria, which makes her feel like people are ALWAYS rejecting her, being rude to her, lying to her, and she's got it imprinted into her brain that everyone is out to get her when they really are not.

I can't really tell. It's probably more complex than to just say "oh she's too sensitive," or "oh you're too nice." Because sometimes maybe she's too sensitive and sometimes maybe you're too nice and maybe sometimes the world really is that crappy and you've missed it or maybe sometimes her issues are bumping up against your issues and making you uncomfortable. Maybe she's oversensitive sometimes but other times is spot on and they are being rude. It makes sense that she would be oversensitive to things she has been experiencing. Also be aware that there are things called "micro aggressions," which are tiny little petty insensitivities that some people from minority groups might experience again and again all day long every day. If you see it once, her responses might seem like overreactions, but if she's experiencing them all the time, then we have something that is overwhelmingly difficult to deal with.

I don't know if this answer offers any insight or understanding.

This is such a crazy world, honestly, and a lot of things I would have accepted as people not meaning to be rude actually seem worse than rude now, and I can identify them as gaslighting, manipulation, bullying, racism, misogyny and all that other lovely stuff.

We've had a HARD few years and maybe your friend is at her breaking point with people insulting her "innocently," you know what I mean?

#rosyanswers #what a world #personal interactions

[kalocklyle]

alright so I know literally no one cares about this but it’s my social media I’m doing what I want /lh

I’ve been seeing a lot of slander about justin russo on the internet lately and I’m currently hyperfixated on wizards of waverly place so here’s why justin is an awesome character/doesn’t deserve the hate he gets

He’s kind and treats those he loves well. Justin is canonically really good at comforting people. Although he argues with Alex a lot, at the end of the day, he’s also her older brother and genuinely cares about her. When Professor Crumbs threatens to take Alex’s magic away because she doesn’t turn her report card in, Justin says that Crumbs will also have to take his magic away. Justin is ultimately selfless. We see again and again the sacrifices he makes for Alex and I think we mainly see his kindness in that relationship. Despite that, I think he’s also notably kind to Juliet. When he finds out that he made the mistake of reporting Juliet and her parents, he instantly tries to fix it. Not only does he try to fix it, but he puts his job as Monster Hunter in jeopardy for Juliet and her parents - her parents haven’t even been that nice to him. Justin is ultimately selfless and at the end of the day, he sacrifices himself or what he wants for others. When Rosie turns back into a good angel, instead of selfishly continuing to date her and keeping her in the mortal world (which he could have done - she literally offers to stay with him), he gives her up because he realizes the world needs a guardian angel more than he needs a girlfriend. Even though it hurts because he loved her, he gives her up. There’s no “award” for doing this - he won’t move up a level in the wizard competition, he really won’t get any recognition for giving Rosie up. He doesn’t even get any recognition for turning the moral compass back to good. He does it because it’s the right thing to do. Although later I’ll argue that Justin is constantly seeking validation, I also think that the heroic/good things he does are often done with no expectation of being praised for it. He does them because he has a strong sense of morals. He’s also kind to Harper, Zeke, his parents, and even Max, who people rarely ever show kindness to in the show.

He’s in touch with his emotions. When the show starts, Justin is very against anything that will show him as feminine or emotional. In fact, he even says he’s allergic to emotions (or something like that) to cover for the fact that he’s crying over his missing dog. As the show goes on, we see Justin start to embrace and accept his emotions more and to lose touch with his toxic masculinity. I think dating Juliet changed him in a lot of ways (making him more relaxed, etc), and I think one was encouraging him to be more emotional. After Wizards vs. Vampires, Justin is pretty emotional and open about his emotions in the show. He’s even open with talking about them. In the movie, he opens up to Alex about how he feels like Jerry & Theresa wouldn’t love him as much if he were less “perfect,” which brings me to my next point.

At the end of the day, Justin is a sad character. I know it’s a kid’s show but they really do cover a lot of issues so bear w me. I’m hyperfixated and I like to over analyze shows so I’ve thought about this a lot. Justin is the oldest, which means he already deals with pressure to be perfect. Then, add in the fact that his parents are constantly describing him as the “perfect child” and putting him on a pedestal, while pitting the kids against each other as a result of the wizard culture bc of the family competition (I love Jerry & Theresa but they’re not perfect). He’s also a high achiever and we know he puts extreme pressure on himself to do well - they always make a joke about it but it’s actually quite sad. He literally feels poorly about himself when he gets a B and bases his entire self worth on his grades and skills as a wizard. In fact, in the movie he voices doubt about whether or not he’s good at anything other than magic. I have a few things I want to say about all of this. First of all, I think Justin is constantly seeking validation. I think as the oldest and “best” child, he feels the need to be perfect all the time, but he also does many of the things he does because he just wants validation. When Harper decides to run a marathon, Justin does too, and sadly his accomplishment of finishing it is overshadowed by Harper “winning.” I also think Justin feels threatened by the success of others because he thinks it invalidates his. When he opens up to Alex in the movie, he says that he’s jealous of her because it seems like everything comes naturally to her. Justin feels as if his parents loving his siblings takes away from their love from his. It’s irrational, but very real. Which brings me to my next point - Justin has generalized anxiety disorder. It makes sense - the overthinking, the outbursts he has (Alex refers to it as a conniption once) of panic or frustration, the overachieving, etc. As someone who probably has autism, I also think he’s autistic (which would explain his troubles with tone, struggle making friends, obsessions with things like Captain Jim Bob Sherwood and science, being better w robots than people, and so much more).

Ultimately, Justin has a strong moral backbone. Although he’s a stickler for the rules and this oftentimes leads him to do bad things initially, he always does the right thing in the end. For example, when Justin and Alex go to court and Justin duplicates himself to be his lawyer, his lawyer ultimately proves that Justin is guilty; he even says something along the lines of “We’re Justin Russo. We always do what’s moral and just.” Justin has a strong sense of justice (which could also be from being autistic but I could do a whole other post about neurodivergency coding in WOWP and Disney & Nick shows overall bc there’s a ton of coding) and does what he thinks is right, most of the time. Sure, sometimes he does bad things, but he’s also a teenager at the end of the day and he’s highly competitive.

Finally, Justin Russo is super progressive - in fact, he’s probably the most progressive characters of the show. He acknowledges climate change and actively tries to create a solution for it. In fact, for his science fair project he makes a water powered engine, which would reduce carbon emissions. He also wears a shirt at one point that says “Make art not war.” I will admit that his biases against the werewolf he dated were problematic, but he clearly grew from that because he never held any of that against Mason. He’s also into science and is a nerd and although this is a stereotype, most young people who are into science and are nerds are progressive. I’m pretty sure he also is well aware of current events and would probably read the newspaper. Also I myself headcanon Justin as trans and bi (again could make another post about characters in wowp that are queer)

Little note even tho probably no one will see this - this is all just for fun. If you disagree with anything I said, just say it politely hahsh. Also please don’t make fun of me for this WOWP is a huge hyperfixation and comfort thing for me rn and I just wanted to make a silly little post where I analyze one of my comfort characters. Also I kin Justin so pls don’t like hate on him in the comments.

#justin russo #wizards of waverly place #wowp #alex russo #harper finkle #juliet van heusen #max russo #theresa russo #jerry russo #russo siblings #disney channel #character analysis

[thewriterowl]

Now that the world has been blessed with Tooka!Luke, I was wondering if you had any headcanons about him? 👀👀👀

Oh you have unleashed this!! and for those of you who are unaware of this beautiful, gorgeous piece by @mxxnfish please take the time to look at it and reblog and love it.

So, Tooka-Luke got his hybrid-blood from his father. Anakin has the same physical attributes and has it from his mother's bloodline. He was still saved by the Jedi and went down his path...and Luke was given to his relatives but due to his appearance he was captured by lucky slavers and (for one reason or another) Kenobi was unable to save him before the whole New Hope.

Luke is super sweet and cuddly and loves attention and to be close to a physical body...before he was captured at least. He was beaten and done very poorly to break his stubbornness by the slavers so he is now a bit distrustful and hissy. He doesn't like to talk as much as he used to and he flinches from most people. He bites a lot if someone gets too close.

He's still sweet though; Luke is just has to be kind and gentle and forgiving and warm. He can't help it. Just don't back him into a corner or try to hurt the other hybrids and slaves, then he'll jump out and attack to keep them safe.

As said in the picture, Din either saves Luke or he receives Luke as a gift as being the newly crowned Mand'alor. Either way, he looks at this cute, sexy sunshine and is all "marry now, talk later."

(Din is a little obsessed with his precious to-be-Riduur as he should be)

Luke isn't trustful of him at first, which is fair, but seems to understand Din is a good man...though he can smell there is some sort of lust on him, but he doesn't act on it so Luke either thinks it's not directed at him, is something else, or is just a good guy. But Din has really nice large, warm hands and he pets really nice...so Luke starts to look out for his hands when he can for attention

(Din melts in a lustful, loving, 'omg too cute' pile of goo each time though his expression is hidden behind his helmet)

As speaking with @inky-starlight Luke looks good in almost any outfit. Tooka-Luke also looks good in any outfit. Soon he is being dressed up in a way so his cute ears and tail are nicely highlighted.

Where his tail meets his backside and his big ears are very sensitive parts of his body. Luke will practically collapse when the right amount of attention is placed on him and these areas.

Luke likes getting in Din's lap. If Din is sitting down, Luke will probably crawl on him. he doesn't mean for it to be sexual...but there are times when Din's brain short-circuits.

Many people are very jealous of Din.

Din, of course, is very protective over Luke. He knows people would still kidnap Luke for themselves or to get credits if given the chance, regardless of who his spouse is. He keeps Luke close or inside or with guards. He, sadly, can't go out on his own too often unless they are on a safe planet or they're in special areas of Mandalore (where he is still probably guarded). Luke isn't too upset about this as he likes being around people. He still gets alone time (as Din understands this need) when he's inside.

His collar was removed instantly when Din got him...but as a hybrid, he sometimes has something in him that finds comfort in that. So Din got him a specialized collar that is soft and pretty and that Luke can remove and put on by himself rather than being controlled by another. Din may urge for him to wear it when they go out just as an extra precaution to keep people at bay from kidnapping him.

When Luke falls in love with Din, he shows it. It's on his face and he greets Din happily and warmly and with so much adoration and excitement that it's like they were apart for weeks rather than maybe a couple of hours. (yes, Din melts over this as well...and may respond in kind)

Luke is a bit smol. Din is a bit thic. so Din can carry Luke. Luke really likes this and will hug his neck and nuzzle their cheeks together, beaming and purring.

Luke still has Jedi in him. Which means he jumps. He likes to get on tall places and can easily fall off them and land without injury (he's part cat and part jedi and part Skywalker??? his need to do dangerous things is off the wall)

Din may suffer a few heart-attacks when Luke does this. Even if he knows Luke will be fine, it still makes him flinch. The first few times Luke did this, Din nearly fainted. ("MY (other) BABY!!!")

Paz is not allowed to be alone with Luke. They're idiots together. Because Luke is smol and Paz is a mountain, Paz will throw luke in the air, much to the Tooka's delight. They also want to go jump off things or go fast when together. Paz is Luke's favorite guard and they become close friends. Paz will sometimes let Luke sit on his shoulders so he can see what it's like to feel tall.

Boba is also not allowed to be alone with Luke. Because he is a handsome flirt and Luke likes him and wants to sit on his lap as well. (Boba may have actually felt a little bit of fear the first time Luke got into his lap and he felt Din's murderous glare...he then proceeded to make Din suffer cause their BFFs and he's an ass...and Luke is attractive)

Grogu loves Luke's ears and tail. Especially the tail. Luke lets him play with it and wiggles it around to keep the child entertained.

Luke also loves Grogu and curls around him to protect him when they sleep. Grogu and Luke purr together. Eventually, when Din gets in, he is surrounded by purring family and he is beyond words of happy.

God i am gonna have to write a fic of this won't I?

#owl inbox #luke skywalker #dinluke #jealous din is a fave

[moon-light-jukebox]

You’re not my type [Hotch x Reader]

Summary: Reader is the new press liaison to the elite Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI. A stray comment from her leads to a lot of questions from her teammates, especially her unit chief, Aaron Hotchner. When they’re thrown together on a case that hits close to home for Reader, will that comment tear them apart? Or will it bring them closer together?

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner / (Female) Reader

Rating: Mature

Category: Angst then smut, with plenty of fluff sprinkled throughout.

Word Count: 8.4k

Content Warning: This gets pretty angst heavy in places. The team is chasing an Unsub that’s a serial r*pist/mu*derer. Mentions of an attempted a*sault to someone Reader cares about. Providing comfort to victims of the unsub. It’s dark in places, but if you can stick with me, I promise I will mend the angst and take you to the land of smut and fluff. Because there is plenty of smut.

A/n: Have you ever had a story that just grabbed hold of you and refused to let go? This story was supposed to be half this length and pure fluff. Reader and Hotch dug their claws into me and made me tell their own story. I’m not mad at it, and if you give it a chance, I hope you love it as much as I do. masterlist

y/n = your name. y/l/n = your last name. italicized text = reader’s thoughts

--“You’re not my type” --

The clock was moving so slowly, I couldn't help but think it was moving backward.

Come on, hurry up. I wanna go home.

I sighed, resigning myself to the fact that it was going to be 4:30 pm for the rest of my life. I still had some files to hand out to the team; I usually do that part of my very glamorous job in the mornings, but since I had nothing but time now, I thought why not.

I had been a “sort of” member of the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit for 5 months. Jennifer- wait, JJ, had the job as media liaison before me; she was the last person to officially hold the position. When she left the unit chief of the BAU, Aaron Hotchner, and the technical analyst, Penelope Garcia, had split the roll. That is until Chief Strauss had decided that she wanted the BAU to run more efficiently. Meaning that Hotch got less paperwork, Garcia got a break from talking about mutilated bodies, and I got shuffled around from the public relations office.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed working with the team, I really did, but I couldn't help but feel excluded sometimes. They're all practically a family. I didn't really have any sort of family anymore, just a best friend that has always felt more like a sister.

Pushing those thoughts aside, I made my way towards the bullpen, shoving the doors open to see the team sitting on various desks talking to each other. Loudly.

“Shut UP, man!” Derek Morgan’s voice was loud, but amusement was clear on his face. Actually, everyone seemed sort of amused. Rossi and Hotch were leaning on the railing near their respective offices, watching the events unfold with smiles on their faces.

Hotch smiles? Huh. Weird.

I quickly tried to make my way around them, hoping none of them would notice me.

“Okay, I know how we can settle this. Y/n!” Shit. No such luck. I turned to look at Emily Prentiss, with her long dark hair and angular face. Why is everybody here so fucking pretty?

I cleared my throat, trying to compose my face. “Yes?”

“Answer something for us.” Everyone seemed very eager for me to be a part of this now, which I didn’t think was a good sign.

“I’ll do my best.”

She smiled at me like she was sensing her victory. "If Morgan asked you on a date, what would you say?"

Oh, they couldn’t have picked a worse person to play this game.

I chuckled awkwardly, trying to appear calm. “Um…I’d probably say no.” Morgan took a dramatically loud breath before slapping his hand to his chest. “No offense,” I quickly added.

Morgan wasn’t giving up his dramatics that easily. “Damn, girl! You’re gonna cut me down just like that?”

“I’m sorry,” I said with an awkward laugh. “You’re just not my type.”

Garcia’s eyebrows hit her hairline. “Excuse me? He’s not your type? Tall, dark, and extremely well-muscled isn’t your type?” She scoffed like I was insane; I mean, maybe I was. Jury’s out.  “What about that is unappealing to you?”

I couldn’t think of a believable lie, so I went with the truth. “The tall and extremely well-muscled part.” I shifted from foot to foot anxiously.

Emily blinked. “O-okay. Fair enough,” she laughed, looking at me like she’d never seen me before.

I was preparing to turn and make a very quick escape, but JJ had other plans. "Woah, woah, woah," the blonde hopped off the desk, walking a bit closer to me. "If Morgan isn't your type…who is?"

Fuck me running. “Um…” I trailed off. “I don’t think I really have a type, to be honest.”

"Do you like men," Morgan chimed in. "No judgment, little mama."

Not for the first time, I wished I was a lesbian. “I am sadly mostly heterosexual.” I was convinced no one could be completely heterosexual, it just didn’t seem natural.

Emily chuckled at that. “Okay then,” her hand moved up to adjust her dark bangs, something she did when she was thinking. “What if Hotch asked you out?”

“Okay, okay, don’t drag me into this,” the Unit Chef boomed out, much to Rossi’s amusement.

“…Um.” Why couldn’t I just die? “Sorry, boss, but no.”

Morgan crossed his arms over his chest. “Is Hotch also too tall and well-muscled.”

“Probably,” I answered without much thought. “I can’t comment on the state of his muscles. But he’s very…big. And he intimidates me.” I didn’t let my eyes stray to my boss; I simply couldn’t.

"Ah-ha. There it is!" Morgan slapped his hands together like he had solved some big puzzle. "You don't like men that intimidate you. So, if pretty boy over here asked you out, you'd say yes."

I didn't know a person's ears could blush until that moment when my eyes drifted over to Dr. Spencer Reid. The tips of his ears were bright pink and he was looking anywhere but at me.

I answered honestly again, I figured they’d know if I lied. Fucking profilers. “Yeah, I would say yes. But only if I didn’t know him.” Spencer’s eyes finally shifted over towards me. “You’re easily one of the most brilliant people in the world. You’d be bored to tears on a date with me,” I said, my gaze meeting his wide eyes.

The boy genius’s head tilted ever so slightly to the side, his lips moving like he muttered something under his breath.

Is it 5 yet?

JJ wasn’t totally prepared to let this go, because she asked, “Okay, so a yes to Spence, a no to Hotch and Morgan.” She tapped her chin with her index finger. “What about Will? You’ve met my husband, right?”

I had indeed met her husband with his Princess and The Frog accent. I couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah, I met him the other day when he brought your son by. And…I don’t know, maybe him. He doesn’t give off an air of intimidation.” Which was the nicest way I could say ‘your husband doesn’t scare the shit out of me.’

I glanced down at my watch, seeing it was finally 4:55 pm. “Sorry guys, I need to get these files out before I go home.” With an overly bright smile, I darted away as fast as my uncomfortable shoes would let me.

My final stop was Hotch’s office, and I was so relieved that he wasn’t in it for once. I placed the file on his desk, looking at the pictures of a little boy, his son, I assumed, on his desk.

“I’m sorry if that made you uncomfortable.”

I'm not sure what I was more embarrassed by, the tiny yelp that escaped my lips or how I smacked my hand over my chest in such a dramatic fashion that I could have given Derek Morgan a run for his money. "Jesus fucking Christ, Hotch! You scared the shit out of me!"

His lips twitched in poorly concealed amusement, either at my reaction or my swearing at him. “Sorry, y/n. I didn’t know I needed to knock before I entered my office. I’ll try to do better next time.”

Oh, this guy has jokes now too.

I couldn’t help but chuckle at his dry humor. “I’m sorry. I startle easily. I didn’t mean to swear at you.”

“Y/n, I’ve been with the bureau for almost 20 years. Trust me, I’ve heard worse.”

I bet he has.

“Well,” I cleared my throat awkwardly. “Alright then. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, sir.”

“Of course,” he stepped out of the doorway so I could exit. “Y/n?” He said it like it was an afterthought. “Do you really find me intimidating?”

My eyes were wide as I looked all the way up at him. Really, what was the point in being that tall? "Oh, absolutely, sir." Then I hurried out the door, not wanting to see his reaction or lack thereof.

--

After stopping by my office, I was waiting for the elevator when I felt someone behind me; turning I saw the pretty boy himself standing awkwardly off to my side. I offered him a small smile before shifting my attention back to the bank of elevators in front of me.

The middle one opened first, Spencer waved me in first before he entered and hit the button for the ground floor.

He was clearly working up his nerves to say something, you didn’t have to be a profiler to see that. “Hey, um, y/n?” I turned my head in his direction, waiting for him to continue. “What you said back there…that you’d go on a date with me if I asked, did you mean that?”

There was that blush again, he really was adorable. “Of course, I meant it, Spencer.” He didn’t look convinced. “I mean, why would I lie? I turned Morgan down right away. And Hotch, who is my boss.”

Spencer let out a small laugh at that, unable to argue against my point. “I guess that’s true.” The elevator doors opened, he waved me out first, again, before exiting himself. “Do you really think that I’d be bored on a date with you?”

"I mean, you have 3 Ph.D.'s and a super high IQ." I waved my free hand around, gesturing to myself like it would help me prove my point. "And look at me. I'm smart, but I'm not that smart. I couldn't put you through a date like that."

He didn’t seem to appreciate my self-deprecating humor. I headed for the doors without giving him a chance to respond. “Have a good night, Dr. Reid!” I offered a small wave before I all but sprinted out the doors towards the parking garage.

Why? Just why?

--

“We have to catch him before this turns into a spree,” Hotch’s voice was grave, his face the same stern mask it always was. “Wheels up in 30.”

Taking that as a dismissal, the team rose from the table, hurrying towards their respective desks to get their go-bags. That was the part of this job that took the longest to get used to. I never traveled much in public relations; now I'm on a plane several times a week. That in itself wouldn't be so bad…if I didn't still get terrible motion sickness. I don’t know why I hadn’t gotten used to it yet, but I had to keep some non-drowsy motion sickness pills in my go-bag at all times. I tried to take them before I boarded the jet; it was probably silly, but I didn’t really want the team to know. They were all superheroes in my eyes; superheroes don’t get motion sickness.

I was the last one to board the jet today. I was usually one of the first onboard, but I got held up on my way here speaking to someone from my old office. When I came through the plane's doors there rest of the team was spread out. Dr. Reid was laying on the couch, book propped open in his lap. Emily and JJ were on one side of the table with Morgan and Rossi on the other. The only seats available were towards the back of the plane; I could have sat by myself…or I could sit in the seat across from Hotch.

I always get anxiety about things other people find silly. I’m a grown woman, I should be more confident; I’m a fucking FBI agent for god’s sake. Yet here I was, nervously trying to decide where to sit. It would be weird to not sit near him, I reasoned. Offering Hotch a tight smile before I stored my go-bag, I sat down across the aisle from him.

I fastened my seatbelt over my lap, taking deep breaths through my nose. I had taken my medicine, but take off always got me a little bit, no matter what. I never took a window seat either, sometimes I’d look out and see how fast the world was passing by underneath us and…I shuddered just thinking about it.

"Hey," the voice beside me called, his voice was so quiet I don't think any of the others could hear it. I opened my eyes and turned to face him. His dark eyes looked oddly soft like he was concerned about me. "Are you alright?"

I offered him a tight smile. “Yeah, I’m okay, Hotch.”

"Did you take your medicine?" At my puzzled expression, he clarified. "For motion sickness."

What in the- “How did you know I get motion sickness?”

The corners of his mouth quirked up. “I’m a profiler, y/n, and I’ve been one for a long time.”

A little chuckle left my lips at that, right as the plane started moving forward, gaining speed for takeoff. I closed my eyes, telling myself that it was the impending take off that was causing my stomach to flutter, not the fact that my boss, who I thought was always indifferent to me, noticed me more than I thought he did.

--

Cases with kids were the hardest, there was no question about it. For me, the second hardest cases were women who were assaulted. It filled my gut with such a heavy, boiling rage whenever I thought about it. These women were just living their lives, unaware of the danger that was hunting them. Some fucking monster decided that being a man in our society didn’t offer him enough power; he had to hurt women, try to take their power so that he could feel more powerful.

I had heard stories about Elle Greenaway, the agent that resigned under suspicion that she shot a rapist in cold blood. I never commented on it, but I can’t say as I blame her. That attitude is probably why I don’t comment on it, I thought dryly.

The unsub the team was hunting in Northern Texas was a serial rapist and murderer. He had claimed 3 victims in the past 2 weeks; the locals were concerned that his pattern and level of violence were escalating too rapidly. The BAU agreed.

They started piecing this monster together through the clues he left behind. A white male, mid 30's, has a high-power job, won't be able to have stable relationships with women. They were tracking his comfort zone, interviewing families, and canvassing for information.

My job was to warn the women of this small town that there was a monster lurking in the shadows.

The team was sitting around in a small room in the center of the police station that was crammed with evidence boards. Emily was leaned back in her chair, JJ's head resting on her shoulder. Dr. Reid was facing the map of the county like if he stared at it long enough and answer would just pop into his head. Morgan's head was in his hands, elbows resting on his knees. Rossi and Hotch were talking in the corner, glancing around the room every so often.

Eventually, our leader cleared his throat. "Okay, lets head back to the hotel." At the groans of a few team members, he pressed on. "I know, I want to find this guy too. But we all need rest. We'll come back tomorrow with fresh eyes."

With that, we all headed to the black SUVs parked outside, ready to head to whatever hotel the bureau put us in for the night. The drive was quick, we all stood in the lobby while Hotch spoke to whoever was at the front desk. The conversation seemed to take longer than I needed to.

He walked back over, looking mildly uncomfortable. “There aren’t enough open rooms,” he said at last. “We’ll have to double up.” He held out his hand which contained 3 key cards.

…Wait a minute. “There are 7 of us.”

Hotch nodded. “Therein lies the problem. One room will have to have 3 people.”

I turned towards Emily and JJ, assuming I’d just room with them when Rossi interrupted. “No offense, guys. But…I’m old,” he laughed, his whole face lighting up. “I need my beauty sleep. I’m not sharing a room. I’ll go get my own.”

"They don't have any rooms, Dave."

Rossi looked at Hotch with a patronizing little smile that would have been extremely offensive coming from anyone else. “They don’t have any rooms for you," he clarified. "Not only am I old, but I'm also rich."

Sure enough, he walked over to the desk and spoke to the clerk for less than a minute before he was handed a keycard.

“Well I’ll be damned,” Morgan said with a laugh.

Rossi turned to us then, his eyes filled with poorly hidden mirth. “Sogni d’oro!” And with that, he walked towards the elevators.

“Huh?” JJ asked, her voice scratchy.

“Sweet dreams,” Reid and Prentiss supplied at the same time.

“Right.” Morgan shook his head. “Come on pretty Ricky.”

It hit me right then. Oh hell.

Hotch seemed to realize it at the same time Prentiss did. “Y/n, you room with JJ, I’ll stay with Hotch.”

Somehow this was more embarrassing than the conversation in the bullpen. “No,” I said quickly. “No, you guys go. I’ll room with Hotch.” I put a smile on my face, hoping I was convincing.

“Y/l/n, you just said that I intimidated you.”

Again, why couldn’t the earth just swallow me up? My laugh was forced, but hopefully, they hadn't heard my real laugh enough to know the difference. "Intimidated to go on a date with, Hotch. This isn't like that." Right? “C’mon! I’m sleepy.”

With that display of false bravado, I grabbed a key and made my way towards the elevators. I felt his presence behind me as we walked down the hall towards our rooms. I tried to control my heartbeat, calm my breathing the closer we got to the room. This is ridiculous, y/n. I had shared a room with Morgan before, no problem. I was comfortable around the team, I really was. Not for the first time, I wish I had the sense to not open my big mouth.

I reached for the door right when Hotch cleared his throat; I busied myself with getting into the room, ignoring him. Was it cowardly? Yes. Did I care? Not at that moment.

Until I walked into the room…and saw that there was one bed. Oh, you have to be fucking kidding me. “What is this, a rom-com?” I apparently didn’t mumble that part as quietly as I thought I had given the soft laugh I heard come from the man behind me.

“Y/n,” he said, his hand coming to my shoulder. “I didn’t realize there would only be one bed. Come on, let’s go down to Prentiss and JJ’s room.”

I let out a groan. “Hoooootch,” I whined. “All of this is just making me more embarrassed. This wouldn’t even be an issue if I hadn’t been a dumbass and opened my big mouth. This isn’t a big deal but going to talk to them will make it a big deal.”

He didn't look convinced, but I was so tired. I reached out and grabbed his arm before I could think better of it. "Aaron," my voice was soft, barely a whisper, but it was like he'd been struck by lightning. His eyes snapped up to mine, his lips parted slightly. It was then I realized I'd never called him by his first name before. "I trust you with my life. You'd intimidate me if I didn't know you. But I do know you, Aaron." My gaze never wavered from his.

“Okay.”

--

I laid in bed for 30 minutes pretending to be asleep. I listened to his breathing even out and I kept my back to him the entire time. I had tried to keep my bedtime routine brief, taking a quick shower and changing into my sleep shorts and a baggy shirt I’d had since college. My hair was pulled back so I wouldn’t get it wet in the shower.

The weirdest thing was seeing Hotch in normal clothes. In all the months I’d worked with him, I had never seen him not in a suit. He had a pair of flannel pajama pants on, a gray t-shirt stretched over his broad chest. He has really nice arms, I thought.

When I was sure he was asleep, I rolled over onto my back. My eyes had long since adjusted to the dark, allowing me to just stare at the ceiling.

“You’re thinking very loudly.”

I let out a squeak while my whole body jerked. "Goddamnit, Hotch!” That asshole had the nerve to chuckle. “Stop scaring me!”

“I’m sorry,” he said, not sounding even slightly sorry.

“I thought you were asleep.”

He rolled onto his back; I felt his eyes on my face. “I know,” was all he said.

I sighed, wondering how I had gotten myself into such a situation. “You really don’t intimidate me.” He made a noise which caused me to amend my statement. “Alright, alright. You do intimidate me. You’re just so…stern. And you’re so tall. What is the purpose of being that tall? It’s excessive. And I feel like your eyes can see through every single thing about me. I didn’t know you had muscles until today, but I always assumed you did. They’re very nice muscles-“ I cut myself off. Fuck.

That was the first time I ever heard Aaron Hotchner laugh. Not chuckle, not snicker quietly. He actually laughed. His laugh was a higher pitch than his speaking voice; it boomed out of him and transformed the whole mood in the room. That laugh warmed a part of my heart that I wasn’t comfortable thinking about. A huge grin broke out on my face. I made him laugh, and I was oddly proud of it.

“Thanks, y/n,” his voice was still filled with amusement. “I hadn’t known you were curious about the state of my muscles. You should have just said something.”

My head snapped to the side so my eyes could meet his. He was teasing me. SSA Aaron Hotchner, BAU unit Chief, was teasing me. I lifted my hand to his arm, giving him a shove. His bicep feels like granite. “Shut up.”

That asshat just kept laughing at me.

“Anyway, you do intimidate me,” my voice was soft again. “But I’m not afraid of you.”

Aaron regarded me thoughtfully. “So, it’s not that you’re not attracted to intimidating men,” he surmised. “You’re afraid of men.”

“Not all men,” I countered. “I’m afraid of men like you. Not you, but ones like you. You overwhelm me.”

He was quiet for a few moments. “Y/n…did someone hurt you?”

It was a natural question, a normal thought process; I should have expected the question. I felt tears prick the corner of my eyes. “Yes,” I whispered, feeling safe in the darkness of the room, safe but still so alone. “But not in the way you think.” I filled my lungs with a deep breath, hoping I would find some courage. It wasn’t until I felt his hand brush over mine, his calloused fingers brushing over the back of my hand, that I finally found it. I flipped my palm up and laced my fingers through his. He gave me a reassuring squeeze.

“I’ve had the same best friend all my life,” I began. “She’s marvelous. We’ve always been together; her mom said we were like peanut butter and jelly. I love her like she’s a part of me, Aaron.” I knew he would understand; I just knew it. “We were in college when it happened. We went to this frat party because I had a crush on some guy.” My voice was filled with venom and bitterness. “He was overwhelming, so tall, and so handsome. There was a darkness in him, but I was too young to see it. She did; my best friend could see he was a monster. I didn’t listen.” My breath was shuddering through me. “I didn’t listen to her, Hotch.”

He didn't say anything. He just shifted in the bed and pulled me to him, nestling me into his side, wrapping his arms around me while I laid my head on his chest. "I was so mad at her. So mad." The shame from all those years ago was still so fresh. "She took my drink and threw it on the floor. I told her she was embarrassing me… So, I went outside to get some air."

His arm tightened around me, his free hand coming up to stroke my hair. “You don’t have to-“

“I do,” I said, refusing to let another sob escape. “I came back inside and couldn’t find either of them. I thought maybe she was going to hook up with some guy…but she isn’t like that. She’s never been like that.” My stomach rolled at the thought; sometimes when I closed my eyes I could still smell the beer in the air, I could still feel the wood of the banister under my fingers. “I found them in a room upstairs. He had her pinned on the bed, he was-he-he was trying to take her pants off.” I didn’t deserve the comfort Aaron offered me in that moment, but I clung to him, grateful for it. “I screamed, and I guess I scared him. She kneed him and was able to push him off. We ran all the way home.”

“You saved her, y/n,” Aaron’s voice was so sure, so reassuring, no matter how hard I shook my head ‘no’. “You did. You could have just left; you were mad at her, but you still went back for her.”

I wiped my eyes. “You make it sound so simple.”

His lips pressed softly against my forehead, his hand stroking up and down my back. “That’s because it is.”

--

Things felt different in the harsh light of the police station than they had last night. Aaron was already in the shower when I woke up this morning. I fell asleep in his arms after I told him one of my darkest secrets. He didn't judge me; he didn't tell me I was a terrible person. He just held me; he offered me comfort and made me feel deserving of that comfort.

I dressed quickly and headed downstairs before he got out of the bathroom. My feelings were already swirling around in my head. It wasn’t that I wanted to be away from him, not at all. I just didn’t think it would help my feelings settle down to be confronted by a wet, hot, well-muscled Aaron Hotchner. It was an act of self-preservation if you think about it, I reasoned.

The next time I saw him was when the team was piling back into the SUVs to head to the police station. He offered me a small smile, and I think his eyes may have twinkled a little bit when I smiled back at him a little too brightly.

Profilers.

The team was as refreshed as they could be. Dr. Reid was looking at access and service roads on the map, trying to determine the route the unsub took to dispose of his victims. JJ and Morgan were out canvassing the women's neighborhoods. Rossi was with Prentiss in the sheriff's office speaking with the family of the most recent victim, Bethany Mooreland.

This was the hardest part of my job. I wasn’t a profiler. I felt like I had nothing to offer. I was fielding calls from the media, trying to organize a targeted strategy. The team thought that if the unsub saw that he was being mocked in the press, or his masculinity was called into question in any way, that he would act out more viciously. While acting out might cause him to make a mistake, we couldn’t risk another woman’s life.

The conference room doors burst open, Hotch storming inside with Morgan and JJ hot on his heels. “There’s been another attack.”

I felt my stomach drop. “Fuck.”

“Y/n, she’s alive.”

“…What?!”

The dark-haired man that held me in his arms last night only nodded. “She’s at the hospital. I want you to come with JJ and me to interview her.”

…Me?

--

Summer Webb was 25 years old; she was a customer service rep at a call center just outside of town. She lived alone, had a cat named Pringles, and was close with her family.

I held her hand while JJ and Hotch put her through a cognitive interview. I rubbed her back while she recounted how the unsub only left her because he thought she was dead. Tears ran down my cheeks when she described what he did to her.

Steel and ice ran through my veins when I looked her in the eyes and promised that we would get this monster.

I’d kill him myself if I had to.

Once her mother arrived at the hospital, we left, promising to call with any updates; uniformed officers were stationed outside her hospital door. Hotch spoke to Garcia, then to Rossi, then to Reid, then Garcia again on our ride back. JJ read over Summer’s statement, occasionally jotting down notes.

I was quiet.

Almost. Almost there. I walked into the station without really seeing it. I navigated my way down the hall on instinct. I pushed the door to the bathroom open, looked around to confirm I was alone…then I broke. I placed my hands on the countertop that housed 3 separate sinks, my tears ran down my cheeks and splashed on the fake granite.

I don’t know how long I had been there when I thought I heard a knock on the door. That didn’t make any sense, the door didn’t have a lock; there were multiple stalls in this bathroom.

But I had heard a knock. The door swung open and someone walked inside. I heard him whisper my name, the tone of his voice was so soft, so fucking sad, that it only made me cry harder. Aaron put his hands on my shoulders, turning me around to face him, then letting me collapse against him.

He murmured words I couldn’t understand against the top of my head, he wrapped his arms tight around me; I was sure I would have fallen completely apart if he wasn’t holding me together.

“You must think I’m so weak,” I muttered when my tears had finally slowed.

He stiffened, though his hands never stopped moving, stroking my hair and my back. "Just the opposite, y/n." I pulled back to meet his eyes; I saw nothing but honesty swirling in those dark brown pools. His eyes appeared so dark from far away, almost black. From this close, I could see the subtle shift between various shades of brown. They weren't cold like I had always suspected; Aaron Hotchner's eyes were warm and understanding. They were the eyes of a man who had seen far too much evil for one lifetime but refused to yield his fight for even a second.

I could fall in love with those eyes.

“You’re the furthest thing from weak I’ve ever seen,” he continued. “Your heart is so big that it aches for a woman you don’t even know. It’s alright to cry right now, it’s alright to let yourself fall down for a moment. But I know you, y/n,” he was repeating my words from last night back to me. “You’re going to pull yourself back together. And then you’re going to help us find that son of a bitch before he hurts anyone else.”

Maybe I could fall in love with more than just his eyes.

--

There are certain moments in my life that I will look back on and remember with perfect clarity. That night when I almost lost my best friend, the day I graduated from the academy, the first night I spent in Aaron Hotchner’s arms were just a few.

I would also remember when the call came in from Garcia; how Morgan and Reid ran into the room. How Hotch’s eyes shot to mine when we found out the monster’s name. I didn’t have to ask; he nodded at me, those warm brown eyes were hidden now, hardened by pure ice-cold rage.

I strapped on my vest and road in the back seat in the SUV Morgan drove.

Summer’s monster was named Jeremy Carpenter. Her monster was a white man with brown hair, brown eyes, with a scar on the back of his right hand.

None of us were sure how he knew we were coming, but he had already barricaded himself inside his house. We heard a scream when the first gunshot was fired. I wanted more than anything to bring Summer's monster in alive; I wanted to offer her the chance to face him if she wanted to.

Aaron didn’t ask if I wanted to go to the hospital once everything was over; he really did know me. He took me to see her, he kept his hand on my back while I told Summer and her mother what happened. What I will remember most of all is how her mother hugged me when I told her the monster was gone, that he would never harm anyone ever again. I hit him in his leg; he was in pain before our unit chief put a bullet between his eyes.

We had come to the hospital alone; the rest of the team went back to the station to finish up paperwork. I held his hand on the way back to the hotel; I held his hand while we walked to our room.

I offered him a small smile before I made my way into the bathroom, determined to wash the events of the day off of my skin.

He was gone when I came back out.

--

It goes without saying that I had doubted most men in my life, especially since that night all those years ago.

I never once doubted Aaron Hotchner.

I was sitting on the bed when he came back, staring at the TV without seeing.

“Hey,” he said softly. “I thought you’d still be in the shower.” He set two bags down on the only table in our room. “You haven’t eaten since breakfast. I thought-“

“Hotch,” he looked at me then, his eyes locking onto mine. “Thank you.” I didn’t need to specify for what. He knows.

He pulled our food out while I made my way to the table. I couldn’t hold in my chuckle. “You know I get motion sickness; you know my favorite foods…just how closely do you pay attention to me, Agent Hotchner?”

He didn’t look the least bit embarrassed. “More closely than I should.”

We sat together and ate in comfortable silence. The next time he spoke was to answer a phone call from Jack. I tried to hide my smile while I listened to his conversation. Unlike the rest of his team, I hadn’t gotten to see Aaron Hotchner, the father. What is it about men being good father’s that is so attractive, I mused. Is it biological? I made a note to ask Dr. Reid.

After we ate, he went to shower while I stretched out on our bed, scrolling through my phone. When Hotch emerged from the bathroom he was in another pair of flannel pants paired with a black t-shirt. I pursed my lips in both amusement and disappointment.

“What?” His eyebrow was raised quizzically. Why are his eyebrows hot?

I giggled. "Nothing." At his incredulous look, I amended, "it's nothing interesting."

He sat down beside me on the right side of the bed, his back resting against the headboard. “I’ll be the judge of that.”

“Hooootch,” I whined, covering my face with my hands. “I’ve already embarrassed myself in front of you enough for one lifetime.”

His hand came up to grab mine, pulling them down from my face. Any attempts I made to wiggle away from him were in vain. Apparently, those muscles aren’t all show and no go. My body had shifted down the bed during my halfhearted struggles, meaning Aaron was now propped up on his elbow, his body angled over mine. “Embarrassed? I don’t remember any embarrassing times,” he pretended to give this some thought. “Unless you’re referring to last night when you mentioned how much you think about my muscles?”

I tried to jerk my arms out of his hands, but he held fast, laughing openly while my face turned red. “Oh, I’m sorry. Were you not talking about that?” He pushed my arms back onto the bed, rising to his knees, positioning his body over me, his face hovering over mine. “Then it must have been when you lied to the whole team a few days ago.”

I squeaked in outrage. “I didn’t lie about anything!”

He was so beautiful when that scowl left his face. “Yes, you did!” he insisted. “You said you wouldn’t say ‘yes’ if I asked you out. And, based on the evidence, I have to say I don’t believe that to be true.”

“Oh, I forgot I was dealing with a former prosecutor.” He nodded gravely, earning another giggle from me. “Okay, counselor. What’s the evidence?”

“The most glaring piece of evidence is you won’t tell me what you were thinking when you were looking at me when I came out of the shower.”

I let out a whine, accepting my fate. He’s literally on top of you, dumbass. Something tells me he’s gonna be receptive. “Okay, okay. I may have…hurried out of the room this morning while you were in the shower.”

Hotch quirked an eyebrow. “I know. Go on.”

“Asshole,” I muttered, delighted when he laughed. Hearing his laugh was one thing, but seeing it too? My insides were basically liquid. “I may have ran as an act of self-preservation. I was…worried that you’d come out of the bathroom in a towel. And you’d be wet, and hot, and I would…make an idiot out of myself, much like I am now.”

Aaron was delighted by how bright red my face turned; he made no attempt to hide his amusement. “So, just now, you were disappointed that I came out fully clothed?”

“Hotch,” I moaned out in embarrassment. He wasn’t making this easy on me.

My eyes were shut tight, my head turned away from him like this would somehow prevent him from seeing me. His left hand lifted from my wrist, his fingers coming to rest on my chin, turning my face towards him. "If you're going to moan my name while we're in bed, y/n, I'd prefer if you called me Aaron." My eyes snapped open. His eyes were still warm, teasing, but there was a certain heat in them I hadn’t seen before that made my lower belly flutter. He leaned closer to my face. “It would be hard for me to focus at work if you every time you said ‘Hotch’ I thought about you like this.”

I waited for a few moments for him to act before I realized Aaron couldn’t cross the line first. He wouldn’t be mean if I rejected him; that wasn’t the type of man he was. But the choice was mine; it had always been mine.

I lifted my free hand up to cup the side of his face, urging him closer to me. The first brush of my lips over his was so soft I wasn't sure it was even happening. It was so hesitant but so pure that it made me ache. Aaron pulled back to look at me; he was breathing hard like he had been running instead of just kissing me.

“Y/n…”

“Don’t profile me, Aaron.” I lifted my head, my teeth nipping at his bottom lip. “I want this. I want you.”

His posture shifted, he released my left arm to brace himself above me with his arms caging me in; he moved his legs, wedging one of his thighs in between mine. “I’m not profiling you. I can see how much you want this.” No need to sound so arrogant. “But I need to be sure…I’ve wanted to touch you for so long.”

My hands moved up to touch him, one hand feeling the soft hair at the nape of his neck that was still a little damp from the shower; my other hand gripped his bicep. “Then touch me, Aaron. Please.”

I wasn’t ready for the full force of Aaron Hotchner. He was the most intense man I had ever known, and that intensity didn’t stop in the bedroom. Aaron didn’t kiss me, he tried to consume me. His mouth moved over mine with a carnal hunger that made me throb, shifting against his firm thigh that was rested against me. I was desperate for any friction. I felt his hand move down from where it was cupping my face to rest on my collarbone, his thumb tracing over the base of my throat.

His lips moved off of mine to blaze a path down my jaw, his teeth nipping at the skin there before he moved back to my lips. “Don’t worry, sweetheart.” He pushed his thigh against the seam of my body, causing a whimper to escape from my throat. I didn’t even mind the smirk that covered his mouth. “We’ll get there. Just let me make you feel good.”

I opened my mouth to him; his tongue swirled around mine while the hand that wasn’t bracing him up moved to my hip. His fingers ran over the skin of my stomach that was exposed from my shirt riding up. I placed my hand over his, guiding it further up my stomach; how was I supposed to take my mouth away from his to tell him what I wanted?

Of course, Aaron knew what I needed; I was beginning to learn that he always did. His fingers trailed up my body until he got to the underside of my breast; the callouses that roughened his fingertips were heaven on my overly sensitive skin. My mouth broke away from his in a guttural cry when those fingers finally found my nipple. Aaron moved his kisses down to the side of my throat. I felt his breath against my throat when he murmured, “you’re so sexy, y/n.”

Raising up on his knees, he started tugging my shirt up; I lifted my upper body so I could slide my shirt off quickly. I heard Aaron groan when my chest was revealed to him, but I was on a mission of my own. Once I had his shirt pulled up over his abdomen, Aaron reached behind his back and pulled his shirt off at the neck.

My nails raked down the skin that covered his chest, reveling in the groan that left his mouth. He leaned over me again, his lips wasting no time before they covered my nipple. My hands tried to grip the short hair at the back of his head.

“Aaron,” I gasped out. “I need…more. Please.”

He started kissing his way to my other breast. “What do you need, sweetheart? Do you want to grind against my thigh? Do you need to use me to get off?” His tongue flicked over my nipple. “Or do you want me to use my hand? Is that what you need, Angel?” My heart stuttered at the sweet nickname just as much as it did at his filthy words. “Do you need me to put my fingers in your pussy?”

My thighs were shifting restlessly. “Yes, yes, please Aaron.”

When his mouth closed around my nipple, I felt his left-hand slide down into my shorts, then into my panties. He shifted his wrist, allowing his hand to cup me. He groaned against my skin. "I haven't even put a finger inside of you and I can already feel how wet you are. Your little cunt is just dripping for me.”

I didn’t have a chance to respond before he parted my lips, his finger ghosting over my clit, causing my back to arch off the bed. He smirked but didn’t tease me further; he slid his fingers down to my opening before pushing his middle and ring finger inside of me, using the heel of his hand to grind against my clit. I moved my hand to my mouth, having to bite on my skin to silence the scream that his actions brought forward.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” He leaned back, never pausing the movement of his fingers. “Are you trying to be quiet? Do you not want everyone in this hotel to know how wet you are? How desperate you are to have my fingers inside of you?” All I could do was nod. “It’s all right, baby. Once we get home, I’ll hear you scream for me. But for now; be a good girl and try to be quiet. I’m the only one that gets to hear what you sound like when you cum for me.”

I was grinding against him, working my hips desperately, matching his rhythm. I was so close. “Aaron, NO!” was all I could say when he removed his fingers from inside me. The man just smiled at me, looking me straight in my eyes when he put his fingers in his mouth, licking me off of them.

He grabbed my shorts and panties at my hips, roughly jerking them off my body. “When we get home,” he said as he slowly started to push his own pajama pants down. “The first thing I’m going to do is lay on my back and make you put this pussy on my mouth. You taste so good, angel.” His cock sprang free; he was so much thicker than I expected. I was transfixed, just watching his fist pump up and down his hard length. “Will you do that for me? Will you ride my face?”

“Yes,” I was so desperate I would agree to anything in that moment. “I’ll do anything. Just please fuck me, Aaron.”

He used the fingers of his free hand to part my pussy lips again, rubbing over my clit. “I don’t have a condom, sweetheart, but-“

“I’m on the pill,” I reach out to grip his shoulders, pulling him on top of me. “I trust you. I trust you with everything. I need you inside me, Aaron.”

He shoved my thighs open, running the head of his cock up and down my pussy, coating himself in my arousal. He looked up at me again, giving me another moment to back out, before he slowly started to push inside of me. He stroked in and out of me, going a little bit deeper each time until he bottomed out. Aaron’s head fell to the dip of my shoulder. “Fuck,” he whispered. “You’re so fucking tight.” He started moving then. Slowly pulling out before he shoved himself back inside me. My hands were on his back, my nails digging into his skin. I wrapped my legs around his back, trying to draw him deeper inside me.

“You feel so good,” I whisper, biting his shoulder to keep my moans quiet.

Aaron raised up on straight arms, changing the tempo of his thrusts. “You’re not doing a very good job of being quiet, baby.” I whimpered; I couldn’t help it. “I think we might have to do something about that. He quickly pulled out of me; I didn’t have time to complain before he flipped me over, gripping my hips and lifting me up on to my knees. His hand palmed my ass cheek while he leaned over me, his breath hot on my ear. “This is how you need to be fucked.”

Raising up, he lined himself up and slammed inside of me. I bit my lip so hard that I could taste blood; Aaron tangled his hands in the back of my hair, pulling my head up while he set a brutal pace. "Quiet, baby. You don't want everyone to know what a dirty girl you are. Screaming for my cock, so wet that you're dripping down your thighs." His pace didn't slow down; I felt my orgasm rising up inside me. "Touch your clit for me, sweet girl. I want to feel you cum on my cock."

My fingers began circling my clit in a frenzy, causing my pussy to flutter around him. “That’s a good girl. Such a good girl for me. Can you be quiet when you cum? Or do I need to shove your face down in the mattress while I fuck you?” He gave a dark chuckle at my needy whine. “That’s what I thought.”

In the way that he knew everything, Aaron knew when my orgasm was peaking. He pushed my head down, never too hard, but hard enough. I bit the comforter in an attempt to silence my scream. I felt myself clamp down around his thick cock. My orgasm broke inside me so quickly. I screamed his name while I came; the comforter silenced some of it, but he heard it. That scream along with my pussy cumming on him was ultimately his undoing. He gave a few final thrusts before he went all the way, holding himself inside me as deep as he could, filling me with his cum.

I collapsed after that. I had never felt anything like this before. Aaron was there, knowing what I needed even when I didn’t. He held me for a moment until I caught my breath. Then he went into the bathroom, coming back with a damp washcloth to clean me up. He was so tender with my sensitive flesh; he didn’t say anything, he just focused on his task.

Once he was satisfied, he laid down beside me, drawing me into his side just as he’d done the night before. I couldn’t help the dry chuckle that left my exhausted body. Aaron made a ‘hmm’ noise. “I was just thinking about last night,” I said quietly, my voice raw from the screaming I had just done. “You held me like this last night. It was just 24 hours ago, but the whole world feels different.”

He made a noise in the back of his throat that I took as an agreement. After a beat, he said, "well, maybe you won't run out on me in the morning this time."

I looked into his eyes, raising up to press a kiss against his stubbly jaw. “I’ll never run again.”

And I meant it. I could face any monster, as long as Aaron Hotchner was beside me.

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[cadopan]

Arsenal’s player ratings for Tottenham vs Arsenal FAWSL Matchday 7 (1-1)

now that’s strike two that Jonas gets for mismanaging a game and to an extent, it’s even worse than the Barca game because we were comfortably dominant in the first half and should have 100% walked away with the three points. let us not forget that this is the same team we steamrolled 5-1 just about a month ago in the FA Cup. and this is the exact same lineup (with the exception of Lotte in for Jen) that fared so poorly against Barca and then again today, so it’s apparent that something’s not ticking with this particular set of players on together. dreading how many flaws i’m going to have to pick out but alas, let’s get on with it. 

Starting XI: Manu — 4.5/10. i was going to go with a 5 but that was too generous because i counted at least three attempts (including the one that went in) where she just didn’t do enough and would’ve conceded be it for tremendous luck on her side. Spurs would’ve been 2-0 up and ran away with it when she parried Simon’s shot straight into Neville’s path; should thank her really, for skying that tap-in and messing up at the vital moment when she otherwise had a super game.  Noelle — 5/10. sigh, looked to be the standout performer in that backline yet again ...until she completely lost track of Kit Graham at the back post and allowed her to send in a shot with acres of space and time, which eventually led to the goal. i still think she did fine in supporting the attack, what i like about her is that she picks the right moments to get up and offer herself as an extra passing outlet or overlapping option. this is one of the reasons why she’s the higher rated side-back imo compared to Steph but more on that below.  Leah — 5.5/10. after a string of shaky performances, she edged it as the best performer in the defence today. that being said, the defence overall was still appalling at times, but her individual showing was one of the better ones. her confidence to drive forward with the ball and pinpoint long ball distributions are probably among, if not, the best in the league.  Lotte — 4.5/10. was having a fairly good game, couple of cheeky heel turns and composure under pressure, but yup she’s probably the one most guilty for that goal getting scrambled in. fully had the opportunity to hoof that away to safety, and didn’t. we all know what happened next.  Steph Catley — 4.5/10. i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: she is not reassuring in her defending. people skip past her too easily, and she doesn’t have the physicality/toughness of Katie to bully them off the ball. today, Katie was the winger in front of her but Katie was doing way more dispossessing and was practically doing the same things she does when she’s the LB instead. and the further frustrating thing is that Steph and Katie seem to have absolutely no chemistry or link-up on that entire left flank, so there goes anything Steph has to offer attacking-wise. her game just seems very one dimensional, if you get what i mean.  Lia — 5/10. i think it was apparent that the Arsenal midfield was getting overrun many a time, and it actually made Tottenham look very threatening on the counters. if they just had more quality on that final pass, Arsenal’s defence would have been scrambling even more than they already were. in terms of dictating the middle of the pitch, her presence wasn’t really felt and it was an outing to forget for Lia today. 

Frida — 6/10. not gonna lie, she was the only one in midfield i actually took notice of in the entire first half, creating key moments and really doing significant work in ball-winning and making sure she outmuscled everyone in her way. but then she disappeared in the second half (bar one shot), and eventually got subbed off. sadly, given the shocking standards of the entire team today, she was one of the standouts. 

Kim — 5/10. ah, the first time this season i’ve had to say that the masterful Kim Little did not have a great game. i’m not kidding when i say that during the first half i kept wondering “where’s Kim?” and actually had to take my eyes away from the ball to look for her on the pitch. bit better in the second half, but it was a recurring theme for her today that she took way too many touches on the ball and hardly played a part in penetrating the Spurs defence. 

Katie — 6.5/10. an unsurprising Katie performance filled with lots of vigour and shithousery (i mean the way she tangled Neville’s legs to intentionally bring her down is amusing if you’re an Arsenal fan, but you’d surely want to punch her if you aren’t). she played her part today i feel, nothing more she could’ve done with her strike that ricocheted off the crossbar and the sublime crosses she sent in for Beth’s first (best) chance plus Viv’s equaliser. 

Viv — 6.5/10. thank you, dear Viv. looked lethal the entire first half, and seemed to be enjoying herself toppling spurs defenders left and right with her sharp footwork. then went missing for almost the entire second half until she popped up to say “screw you Tottenham” and ended up snagging a point for us. can’t even say with conviction that we deserved it. on hindsight, it’s a shame how relieved and elated Arsenal fans had to feel with that late goal because this was a game we should’ve been winning comfortably. 

Beth — 5.5/10. mmm, she definitely created/got herself on the end of the most chances in this game, but also didn’t finish any of them off. if her first touch had been better with the very first opportunity in the opening minutes, Arsenal would’ve sailed into the lead and the texture of the entire game would’ve been different, guaranteed. she and the team will look back on a plethora of wasted chances and surely be kicking themselves tonight.

Subs:

Keets — 5/10. let me start off by saying that these two (Keets and Jordan) were the two worst substitution decisions by Jonas i’ve seen so far. not because of how they ended up playing (which was hardly impactful and all in all poor but that’s not the point), but because they were not the players the tone of the game needed. Arsenal were struggling to muster creativity to break down the defence, and you simply throw on like-for-like substitutes who offer the same things and aren’t going to unlock the game in any way... just why???

Jordan — 4.5/10. Jordan unfortunately gets an especially low one because it got more agonizing to watch after she came on. Jonas needed to recognise that the way she plays means that she is absolutely unsuitable to bring on as a sub when you’re chasing the game. Jordan’s playing style slows the game down a lot and she takes very long on the ball, which is far from ideal when what you want is to get the ball forward quickly and string passes together. She also commits a tons of unnecessary fouls (like the penalty given away vs Barca) which just breaks down any rhythm the team is trying to build in getting a goal back. 

Cait — N/A. she should’ve been the first sub ahead of Keets imo, taking Katie’s place on LW after Katie dropped to LB. ideally, the sub would’ve been Tobin here but Cait is still more nifty on the ball and creative compared to Keets who relies more on just bombing down the line with her pace. in fact, the first two subs and the last two subs should’ve totally been reversed! Jonas letting me down time and again today. and i would’ve thought Cait deserved more playing time after the superb performance she put in midweek.

Mana — N/A. what in the world was she doing on the bench so long when she didn’t even step foot on the pitch last game?! literally everyone and their mothers knew that she’s the wild card that can shake up the game and pick her way through the deadlock. we all saw how effectively this worked during the Villa game where she came on at half-time and her coming on basically won Arsenal the game; guess Jonas conveniently forgot that time he was actually capable of making good tactical changes. 

Bonus:

Jonas Eidevall — 2/10. the first real disasterclass from Jonas since he’s arrived. if we are to let the Barca game slide because 1) we were facing an unfamiliar challenge for the first time and 2) they were clearly head and shoulders above Arsenal in almost every area, this game was neither of those two things. it’s like his decision-making acumen flew out the window and he was blind to the obvious changes needed that were staring at him in the face. it wasn’t even a tactical masterclass required today, just standard stuff he’s done before and he fudged it up supremely. 

Referee — 3/10. terrible. does she have some allergy to playing an advantage? (for both sides too, not just Arsenal losing out.) looked like she was losing control of the game as every minute went by, and tried to regain that by forcing rigid decisions that just made her look even more ridiculous.  Overall: i’ve yet to even take into consideration how enraging this performance was today because of the occasion, the fact that it’s a must-win derby, but the fact that it should’ve been an assured win against opponents we're familiar with and demolished before. 

however, i don’t want to take anything away from Spurs because boy, they looked like one of the best sides (aside from Barca ofc) we’ve played this season. from early on in the first half, i was already impressed with the way they were smoothly playing out of Arsenal’s press and making strides towards our defensive third. you could tell that it was something well-worked on and they set out with a good plan to actually try and hurt us when they got their chances. Bravo, Rehanne Skinner. also, it bolstered them tremendously that their keeper Korpela and entire defence were having a blinder. and i have no special affection towards Neville, but the way she was playing, i would take her over every single one of our defenders today. 

RIP Jonasball. our unbeaten streak in the WSL continues, but today honestly felt like a loss.

edit: forgot to pick out my MOTM = Korpela, and was so swept up in the negativity that I didn’t get to mention Viv’s cute new ponytail today. 

#my player ratings #arsenal wfc #arsenal women #awfc #fawsl #fawsl 21/22 #tottenham women #spurs women #manuela zinsberger #noelle maritz #leah williamson #lotte wubben moy #steph catley #katie mccabe #kim little #lia walti #Lia Wälti #frida maanum #beth mead #vivianne miedema #nikita parris #caitlin foord #jordan nobbs #mana iwabuchi #tobin heath #jonas eidevall #woso #COYG #Arsenal #tottenham

[stellocchia]

I just wanted to analize the conversation between Foolish and Tommy for a bit because I’m still thinking about it

I did technically intend for this to be a short little thing with just a couple of my thoughts on it but... brevity is NOT my strong suit!

So I put everything under the cut and obviously it’s all about the characters.

You can find the conversation here at 02:52:55 and onwards

What is extremely interesting about this whole conversation is that Foolish is mostly unaware of what happened prior to him joining and about most things that happened afterwards, meaning he has as detached and objective of an opinion as you can get. For example Foolish doesn’t know almost anything about L’Manburg, as it was destroyed before he joined and he also didn’t know that Tommy went in the prison to kill Dream (which is why he asks how that went when Tommy mentions it). That paired together with the fact that Foolish has proven to be quite a good listener is probably the reason why Tommy felt so comfortable opening up with him.

“No what do you mean you fought Dream?” “Well you know... you’ve seen Wilbur haven’t you?” “No, no actually” (as I said, completely unaware, though he did seem a bit worried at the idea of Tommy fighting Dream)

“Ghostbur’s uhm... Ghostbur’s not here anymore” “Oh did he pack up? Move out? Got bored? He seems like a free spirit” “Yeah he moved out to this little train station far far away. There’s a little train station, you know? Right near the world border. There’s a little train station” “Oh that’s cool! I wanna see that sometimes" (...) “There’s a little train station out near the world border and Ghostbur went but he left Friend” “He left Friend?!” “But we’ll get Friend to him soon, ‘cause then they’ll all be happy”

Tommy’s way of explaining things to others is always so fascinating to me. It’s childish and charged with emotions, but I don’t mean this negatively, because it gets the point across better then any grand and eloquent speaches really could in my opinion. How attached he was to Ghostbur is also extremely sweet and this is simply his way of dealing with grief: trying to find a practical solution (he was suggested to Tubbo to wash up and now his solution is bringing Friend to Ghostbur), trying to find something he can do to make things better.

“How much can you take Foolish? Blood! Blood! Does that upset you?” (it’s nice seeing Tommy being mindful of other people’s triggers since not many people are mindful with his)

“All I know is I’m proving that bitch [Wilbur] wrong! Because he told me- he told me I’m weak” (another example that the manipulation did work to some extent)

“I don’t feel comfortable talking about that [his revival] with you Foolish if I’m honest” “No, fair enough!” (and Foolish repaying the favour right after)

“I don’t really se how this solves the problem” “Well it doesn’t ‘solve’ the problem, it’s preventing the problem Foolish, alright? Have you noticed that all the problems come they don’t get solved, do they? Ends up with some madman screaming ‘I solved it’ alright? And now- and then look at him, alright, now he’s taken away everyone’s favourite man: Ghostbur, alright? Problems don’t really get solved in this server”

So, for context Foolish was commenting on how gathering stone didn’t seem like a good solution for Tommy to prove to Wilbur that he wasn’t weak, but Tommy’s answer is about more then that. There isn’t much he can do at the moment, not knowing what Wilbur is planning, so the only thing he CAN do for now is what he was asked and, hopefully, prove himself to Wilbur so that he may be able to stop Wilbur from committing atrocities before he starts. Also the “madman” he’s talking about could be Dream (the one who thinks he is a God and actually killed Ghostbur) as well as Sam (the one who thought the prison was gonna be a solution to the Dream problem and who let Ghostbur die) or it could be Wilbur (who seems so self assured about being right on everything and is now the one who replaced Ghostbur), any of them fits. It is also true that, so far, every problem that seemed to have been “solved” turned out to be far from it every single time. That said, of course it should not be Tommy’s responsability to get Wilbur on the “right path” nor should he bear sole responsability for avoiding disaster once more, but, by now, he’s convinced that that’s not the truth, probably because he sees himself as far more sacrificable then those around him.

“Well, how do we go about changing that [problems not getting solved]?” “That’s what I’m doing” “By gathering stone?” “No what I’m doing my friend is preventing the problem before it gets out of hand like it did before, alright?” (again, it’s all about prevention now through getting Wilburs trust and maybe steering him in the correct path)

“L’manburg! This was mine and Wilbur’s na- it was Wilbur’s nation! It was Wilbur’s which makes it all the more heart wrenching, alright?” (referring to his talk with Wilbur about L’Manburg, which does make it more heart wrenching)

“Now we were okay- I was okay when we were banished and I knew that we’d get it back and we’d talk about it, right? As you said: ‘peace is the option’. But here’s the thing Foolish, Wilbur didn’t wanna do anymore talking, he’d given up with that, because some people aren’t strong enough, alright, some people stop talking. You know the phrase ‘treat others how you wanna be treated’ Foolish? That’s a very important phrase (...) Wilbur disregarded that rule. He decided that he wanted to be treated poorly so he’d treat everyone else poorly” “Why do you think that?” “Honestly sometimes I don’t really know myself”

So a very interesting thing that emerged from this conversation is that Tommy has a much better understanding of Wilbur then most people originally assumed and he is possibly the only person (in universe) who has picked up on the fact that all of Wilburs “villain speaches” and behaviours were nothing more then him treating others like he thought he himself deserved to be treated, like sh*t. It’s also interesting that Tommy relates the concept of strenght here once again both with the ability to stay peaceful and, this time, also the ability to communicate properly with those you care about (probably because this are both things he himself lacked when he considered himself to be at his worst, meaning in exile and later with Techno). It is also to be noted though that, while Tommy is undoubtedly the one person who understand Wilbur best, he is still not aware of how bad his spiral had gotten because Wilbur never communicated it.

“Now Wilbur, he was a good man- he IS a good man, deep inside him, alright?” “So you’re saying that there’s still redemption for him?” “Well he’s been a good man deep inside him, but he’s been a bad guy for a very very long time” (Short introduction to Tommy’s concept of “good” or “bad” in season 3. He has gotten a lot more nuanced over time realizing that the world isn’t simply black or white)

“You believe in second chances?” “No I don’t. I don’t really believe- I- that’s not a thing for me Foolish, is just that... *sigh* I believe that everyone has got a little bit of good in them. And I know that Wilbur had good in him” (A little bit more about his concept of morality, this time explaining that he doesn’t really believe in giving people a quantifiable number of “chances”, but more so in the fact that everyone has capacity for good, which also implies that everyone has capacity for bad, but he chooses to hang onto the first one for those he cares about)

“Now I just think Wilbur’s being a bad guy, and that’s okay! We’re all bad guys, everyone messes up. You learn the most from your mistakes” (he also moved on from the fear of becoming a “bad guy” now it seems by noticing that your mistakes don’t define you as a person and that they are opportunities to better yourself)

“He’s made sooo many mistakes, so many that have hurt so many people, but, what this is gonna be about isn’t giving him a second chance, isn’t giving him a third chance, is not about chances! Foolish, it’s about not giving up on the people you care about”

And this is the culmination of all the previous point. The idea of chances implies that you’re gonna give up at some point if the person doesn’t changes (which is a healthy thing to do, by the way, sometimes it’s better to cut people off when they aren’t good for you) and Tommy doesn’t believe in that. He believes that everyone has some good in them and perhaps, if you stick by them long enough, that good may shine threough. Now this is a nice concept in theory, but in reality if people wanna change it has to start from themselves (wether that be changing an opinion or needing to reach out for help) and it’s especially not a good idea to stick by someone if they are harmful to you. I’m sure no one likes Wilbur being in this example, so think what would happen if Tommy applied the same mentality to, say, Dream, someone who has hurt him more then anyone else and who considers him less then human (more like his propriety) and who’s most probably never gonna change since he never regretted anything he did: would you still think that the idea of “never give up on people if you care about them” would be a positive one? This sadly is an example of excessive selflessness on Tommy’s part that ends up being self-destructive.

“You consider yourself to be the ‘good guy’ or the ‘bad guy’?” “That really depends who you ask, doesn’t it? You know? You ask Dream he’s say I’m- he’d say I’m his little- I’m his little play- his little toy that he plays with, you know, it doesn’t- Foolish honestly I used to consider myself the ‘good guy’, the fucking second in command going around going ‘yeah let’s do this!’ but I- recently- this past- this past like six months or so Foolish everything got so much harder then it was before, but because before it was us fighting the bad guys and everything was so clear, it was all so clear! But it’s not been clear for so long”

A few things to unpack here: Tommy once again demonstrating quite a bit of awareness that he didn’t always have about Dream and how he now views him (this has been a gradual and difficult realization for him and it is still clearly hard for him to talk about it) and then explaining that things simply got more complicated then they once were (which is an important thing to keep in mind, because Wilbur missed all of that, he missed the world becoming shades of gray) and that he really doesn’t believe in ‘bad guys’ or ‘good guys’ any longer.

“It seems like you’ve been the hero, you’ve been the viallian, the conquerer, the saviour and, even now, I still have no idea of what you exactly are” “It’s up to you to decide, isn’t it?”

Now this can be interpreted in a few different ways. It could be that Tommy has simply given up in tring to define himself since others keep insisting in putting him into small little boxes that don’t fit him. It could be that he simply refuses the labels and leaves it up to others to decide what he is in relation to them. Or it could be something else entirely and I’m leaving it up to you to decide.

“Unlike you I don’t really have a choice. I have to try and be who I want to be, ‘cause if I don’t... very bad things are gonna happen on this server. Now Wilbur’s back Foolish I can’t- quite frankly no one can risk that, so I don’t really have a choice”

And this is how it ends on a quite hopeless note actually. By this point the responsability to solve problems has been put on his shoulders so many times that he doesn’t really think he has a choice any longer and he also recognizes Wilbur as a genuine threat to the server as a whole if left alone.

#tommyinnit #foolish__gamers #foolishg #dream smp #character analysis #long post #basically we learned that tommy is a lot more perceptive then he seems #he also has a pretty nuanced view of the world he lives in #but he tends to think he has to shoulder all of the responsabilities for everything himself #which is generally not good for his own mental health

[film-masochisme]

Re: Elliot Page and the Visibility of Trans Men in Media

I’ve seen a fair amount of confusion regarding his coming out, arguably more so than any other prominent celebrity coming out as trans. I think it boils down to the fact that with there is a startling lack of visibility for trans men in media and in society in general. Some would argue that it’s due to trans men going stealth, or that their identities are rarely brought up because of how “easier” it is for them to blend in. Frankly, a lot of this rhetoric doesn’t help to address the problem. I think Elliot’s coming out will mean a great deal going forward because in my mind aside from Chaz Bono (who was at best famous for his family as opposed to his own identity), there really hasn’t been a major star with a career this successful doing this. I mean, as a massive cinephile and connoisseur of queer films and media, there are probably this many films out there with prominent transmasc characters:

Boys Don’t Cry (1999):  While a trailblazing and brilliantly-made film, the fact remains that being transmale was so poorly-discussed at the time (transwomen were more visible in media then too, with films like The World According to Garp and Dog Day Afternoon), that most people viewed Brandon Teena as a lesbian than a trans man. The film treats him as male and is fairly respectful, but it still deadnames him at the end (after a fairly depressing conclusion) and used a real-life hatecrime to call attention to something rather than an earnest attempt to understand it.

Southern Comfort (2001): A documentary about the last year in the life of Robert Eads, a trans man with terminal breast cancer. Very sad, very moving and honest, but sadly extremely little seen. Find this if you can.

Predestination (2014): A sci-fi time traveling film which I won’t reveal too much about because the labyrinthian narrative is rather unique and clever; it features a transmale character as one of the two leads (the other being Ethan Hawke) and actually makes (without spoiling) a fairly compelling “fantastical” argument about how gender dysphoria manifests itself in a linear timeline of one’s life, which I found interesting. Unfortunately, the fact that the character is trans is largely used for plot reasons as opposed to an exploration of identity. Probably the most visible trans male character in a major film in the past decade though, so props.

Strange Circus (2001): Sion Sono and gender issues seem to go hand in hand. He’s addressed them in numerous films (such as Love Exposure, Noriko’s Dinner Table, and more recently The Forest of Love) and here I can’t really reveal how a trans male character fits into it (used as a very corny plot revelation) but needless to say a character is shown to be transmale in an archetypally irritating way that does nothing for the plot. Also a fairly-little seen movie even in Sono’s eclectic catalogue. 

3 Generations (2016): Fairly banal and borderline-unwatchable platitude fest about a trans male teen’s struggle to get on hormones, told not from his point of view but from that of his confused mother and TERF lesbian grandmother. Stupid, cis-gaze bullshit.

Romeos (2011) and Tomboy (2011): Both are films abut being stealth and/or in the closet at young ages, and both are again, little seen outside art house/cinephile/film festival circles.

And the list goes on and on. Truth is, because of lack of understanding and visibility, society views Elliot as who he was before in such a stupid way (Guys I work with would talk about how hot he was in a typical toxically masculine way that made me sick) that who he was before is how so many people will forever see him. They watch films like Juno or Inception and to them, that person is inextricably linked with him forever. As a trans person, it’s hard for me to say how I feel about myself before. While that person is a part of me, it’s a part of me I’ve spent years burying and running from. And even then, sometimes, it’s hard not to see something of that person when I look in the mirror. I detested that person and it was somebody I’m not, but at least I don’t have to deal with reminders of them except when around family or mementoes from my past.

I can’t even begin to imagine how Elliot must feel with being an A-list celebrity and having an entire film career as someone you aren’t anymore. But risking your entire career to be yourself is the most noble and admirable thing one can do. My fiance is a minor celebrity who achieved some fame before her own transition, and she put it in the best way:

“In my mind, the things I did before transition were still things I did. To credit them to my old name does make it seem as though I was not the one who did them. Yes, the person by my old name did them, but that person is me.”

And so, the point I want to make is this: Everyone’s identity is their own, and everyone has their own views on their pasts. What Elliot is doing is amazing. What news to wake up to. Just when I thought COVID killed the dreamy magic of the movies that bring me joy, something else came along to put a smile on my face. Fantastic. 

#elliot page #trans #transmale #lgbt issues #umbrella academy #gerard way #lgbt #queer #transgender #news #current events #hollywood #movies #cinema #filmblr #film #filmmaking #transmasculine #coming out

[harryimaginedstories]

on your side

genre: au (while I don’t like the term ‘au-fic’ at all imagine the two characters are in college together and in their early twenties.) angst and some fluff as well.

about 5k words

it’s entirely different than anything I have ever published and I really love it. please let me know what you think and stay safe during these wild and often scary times. 

read more here: my stories

photo: taken from instagram, previously taken by somebody from the movie AWC, which also inspired me (kinda) to even write this.

They started arguing pretty much the second the car door fell shut behind them and even ten traffic lights, countless of turns and getting honked at twice, didn’t stop their heated exchange of words. Harry’s hands held on to the seat tightly, an attempt not to touch her thigh like he normally would, while hers curled around the steering wheel until the white of her knuckles showed. It wasn’t uncommon for them to fight. They had never been one of those couples who didn’t call each other out on their bullshit or who tried hide anger when there was reason to feel it. However, this was the first time that they weren’t on their way home, where their argument could be settled in private. Instead, Harry and Y/N, both infuriated with each other, were on their way to a party. With one generous rotation of the wheel, Y/N parked Harry’s black car in the last free niche on the street of the frat house. The vehicle gave an unpleasant sound and Harry closed his eyes, his nostrils flaring. Before he got the chance to complain, Y/N swung open the door, stepped out and threw it shut hard enough to know it would set him off. 

“Jesus fuck!” Harry shouted, opening the passenger door and stepping out, too. 

She waited long enough to press ‘lock’ on the keys once he was out, then she walked away. With quick strides he caught up with her, and had he not been as angry as could be he would have probably felt hurt at her for not waiting up like she would have any other day.  Walking next to her he turned to look at her profile, trying to catch her eyes, but she refused. 

“Would you mind not taking your crazy out on my fucking car?”

“Oh, so you do care about that then. Good to know,” she snapped back. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Y/N halted and so did he. They were standing on the pavement, one house away from where there could already be heard the dull sound of music blaring and a good meter of distance between them.  Any other night they would be standing there, too. Only not to deliver a few more blows before pretending to be alright while their friends were around. On any other night, Harry would have taken advantage of the warm weather, by letting his hands roam across Y/N’s bare arms. She would have given him a kiss or two and made him a laugh at least as much. He would have reminded her for the fifth time (at least) that she looked beautiful. There wouldn’t be any distance between them, let alone one entire meter.

“There is one thing I’ve been hearing clearly through all of the bullshit you’ve said today,” Y/N hissed, her lips barely moving and her hands curling into tight fists by her side, “which is that you don’t give a fuck about me.”

“Oh my god.” His throat bobbed as he swallowed thickly, his head falling back before snapping forward quickly, “You’re being such a lunatic!”

Wind picked up some of her hair and pushed the loose strands into her eyes, breaking the angry stare she’d held with him and for a moment, Harry could have sworn she appeared to be younger. Then she brushed the hair off with shaky hands and back she was, angry and exhausted. 

“You’re a dick!” Y/N squealed, 

“Well, clearly we could go on,” he snapped and rolled his eyes, “but our fucking friends are waiting for us so do you think you can manage to avoid me for the next few hours so we can at least settle this at home?” 

Y/N crossed her arms over her chest, hiding her cleavage which he had tried not to stare ever since she’d put on the blue dress. That damn dress. Focusing on it now it only irked him further. She knew how much he loved it when she wore this particular piece of clothing. It had spent the night on the floor of his bedroom or over the back of a chair often enough. He was certain she’d put it on specifically to spite him. 

“Fine, let’s go. But since you’re unhappy with my parking,” Y/N stepped forward and reached up, pressing the hard metal of Harry’s car keys into his chest, “you get to be the designated driver tonight.” 

Her fist lingered on the fabric of his black T-shirt. Feeling her touch him momentarily paused his thoughts. All anger was forgotten, as if the wind had picked it up, too, and carried it far away. Harry whimpered and her lips parted, their eyes connecting without any trace of hurt in them. Then his hand found hers and she dropped the set of keys into his palm, snapping them both out of their brief moment of peace. 

“I don’t want to see you right now,” Y/N stuttered, blinking rapidly until her eyes turned darker again.

“Don’t come look for me later when you’re drunk and feeling sorry,” Harry replied, before he stepped around her and walked towards the frat building.

Y/N lost sight of him the second he stepped inside. Despite still feeling angry with him, she couldn’t stop herself from briefly wishing he wouldn’t have left her alone. She didn’t like being left alone at a party. Neither did he, for the matter, but she refused to feel guilty for sending him away. Y/N drew a shaky breath and stepped inside, instantly greeted by the smell of alcohol, smoke and pot. A big banner had been hung from one side of the hall to the other, wishing everybody a cheerful start to the new semester. Underneath mingled numerous students, all of which held drinks in their hands. Already Y/N recognized a few of them from some of her classes, she didn’t feel like talking to them however. To her luck she spotted a few friends of her in the first room she entered and was quickly greeted with hugs and kisses to her cheek. 

Dena, a girl Y/N had grown close with through sharing an equal distain for their econ teacher, pressed a drink into her hand and smiled. “You look like you need at least two of these.”

Y/N smiled sadly. “That obvious, huh?”

“Well, you didn’t cheer in delight upon seeing us like you should have so,” said Clara, another friend Y/N had made whilst talking badly about her teacher.

“Oh, yeah, I’m sorry.” 

Dena nudged her. “Also, your boyfriend stormed past us earlier so we expected something was up.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Clara asked.

Y/N shook her head and took a long sip from her drink. It tasted of a mixture of beer and vodka, which on any other day she would have refused to drink. “I really don’t.”

“Great. Then let’s just cheer to us.”

The two girls raised their own cups and waited expectantly for Y/N to do the same. Dena grinned at her and cleared her throat. 

“To us, the coming semester, which we will fucking ace. And-” she paused, looking at Y/N, “to knowing when to kick your boyfriend’s ass. Cheers!”

“Cheers.”

Harry stood by the unlit fire pit in the lounge area, where the chairs had been pushed aside to create a dance floor. A scowl was deeply etched onto his face and he had yet to smile genuinely. He blamed the alcohol he wasn’t allowed to consume for how poorly he was feeling, but he knew even if he had drowned his veins in liquor, it wouldn’t be until he’d feel her touch him that he would be in a better mood. He stood back watching with a few of his mates, who were all except one, very drunk, as some freshmen clumsily turned the dinner table into a bear pong station. Matt, the only sober one left, had tried to get him to talk about why his mood was so sour three times already, receiving no answer each time. Harry rolled his eyes upon feeling him nudge his shoulder again.

“Where’s your girl?”

Harry shrugged. “Don’t know.”

He’d been cursing her short height since turning around and looking for her in the crowded hallway thirty minutes ago. She’d slipped past him without him noticing, and while he was too proud to go look for her properly, it annoyed him that he wasn’t able to casually spot her whenever he scanned one of the many rooms that had been turned into a club. He especially didn’t like it since he knew that she was drinking. Blindly he felt for his phone in his pocket, ensuring for the tenth time that its volume was turned up. Should she call him, he wanted to be sure that he wouldn’t miss it.

“Didn’t she come with you?” Matt pressed on, either oblivious to Harry’s annoyance or simply indifferent to it.

“Doesn’t mean she can’t wander off on her own, does it?” Harry replied, his voice rough. 

He’d never really liked Matt. Actually, he’d liked him a lot once. They’d even considered becoming roommates in their second year. He’d liked him, up until he’d gotten together with Y/N and noticed the gleam in Matt’s eyes the first time he’d introduced her to him. Their friendship dissolved fast after.

“I’m sure she can. She’s always been good at enjoying parties, hasn’t she?”

Harry didn’t reply. Once more his eyes scanned the room frantically, detecting every single face in hopes of recognizing the eyes to the one he loved.

“Dude!” Eric, a tall and broad looking bloke who’d just become team captain to the football team, stumbled into Harry’s side, knocking him back. 

“Sorry! Shit,” Eric laughed, doubling over, revealing that he was clearly drunker than he should have been, “I’m sorry, mate. Wow, I need to lay off a little.”

“No kidding,” Harry replied, but smiled when Eric slung a heavy arm around his shoulders. The unmistakable smell of alcohol fanned over his face as Eric talked, and his nose scrunched up. 

“You’ve been wearing a look as depressing as Matt’s sex life-”

“Hey, fuck you, Eric!” Matt snapped, unamused.

“-and I intend to fix that. C’mon.”

Harry didn’t fight it as the taller guy dragged him away, out of the lounge and into another room further down the hall. He certainly didn’t mind getting away form Matt. Regardless of them having been friends once, Matt was the last person he wanted to be around when he was having a rough time with Y/N. The smoke was thicker in this room and the music a little quieter. There were less people dancing and more sitting around on the couches and chairs. A few stood by the wall in small groups and some, the ones Eric was walking towards, were standing opposite a dart board. They cheered upon seeing the two guys approach, making more noise than anybody else in the room.

“You’re on my team and you’re gonna help me win, yeah? M’taking advantage of you being sober as a stone. Your aim is probably better than any of theirs.”

Harry laughed and nodded, accepting to be involved. “I’ll try my best.”

The first dart arrow was thrust into his hand by a guy named Kyle who appeared to be on the same team. Half an hour later and Eric was grinning from ear to ear, writing their leading score numbers onto a makeshift writing board that was really just the coffee table. Something the guys living in this house would be happy to find in the morning.  Y/N watched him. Despite being intoxicated, or perhaps because of how intoxicated she was, she noticed every muscle of his back move each time he raised his arm. Her heart fluttered whenever he laughed and she felt a heat grow at the pit of her stomach whenever he leaned his head to the side, revealing the back of his neck to her. And above his neck was his ear, which hid a spot right under his hairline where he liked to be kissed. Y/N’s lips parted at the thought and her toes curled.  He hadn’t noticed her when entering the room. She didn’t blame him though, since she’d successfully hid herself behind Dena and Eric’s big body also worked wonderfully as a shield. Despite anything she’d said before the party, she was immensely relieved to see him. The vodka-beer mixture which she’d learned had been invented by Clara, was disgusting but also got her drunk faster than she had expected. Or intended. Another round of cheers erupted as Harry scored another point for his team. 

“Not fair. You won’t give them as much as a chance to win.” 

A chill rushed down Harry’s back at the sound of the honey sweet female voice behind him, and Y/N, too, froze in place. Slender fingers touched Harry’s arm, caressing the skin despite being less than welcome to. Upon turning around he was met with Silja, who’s face wore a smile equally sweet as her sly voice. Though standing by the opposite wall, Y/N swore she could hear Silja as if she were standing next to her. She would always be able to detect her voice, especially if the words she spoke were directed to Harry. 

Dena followed her friend’s gaze and raised her brows. “Haven’t seen her in a while. I thought she dropped out.”

“Would have been too nice,” Y/N growled. 

She’d never actually talked to Silja herself and she surely didn’t intend to. Before getting together with him, Y/N had been mostly oblivious to who was genuinely interested in him and who she imagining to be. Only with Silja there had never been any doubt. Even before Harry had become hers, she’d felt a bitter taste collect in the middle of her tongue whenever the pretty brunette girl tried to talk to him. Once her claim on him had become justified, she disliked Silja and her upfront behaviour all the more.

“Hey, you know you don’t have to worry about her, right?” Dena said quietly, reading Y/N’s expression, “Harry has rejected her what, three times already? Even before he was with you. He’s not interested in her.”

“I know. I’m not worried about that,” Y/N said quickly, stepping around Dena to get a better look at her boyfriend and the girl that had yet to remove her hand from his arm, “I trust him.”

“Doesn’t make her less of a bitch,” Clara grumbled, also staring at them intently. 

The three girls watched Harry turn to look at Silja. He gave her a tight lip smile before he stepped away to make room for the next player, conveniently shrugging off her hand in process. To their dismay, Silja followed him.

“I haven’t seen you this summer,” she complained in an uncomfortably high voice, that was laced with feigned displeasure, “Where were you hiding?” 

Harry sighed, wishing Y/N would find him already, and rested his back against the wall. The last thing he needed for this party to become worse were the advances of the woman standing before him. “I wasn’t.”

Their summer had been great. They spent it looking for a flat to move into together. One weekend they’d taken the train out to the ocean and spent two days in a pretty bed and breakfast, where nothing distracted them from each other and everything, even their sheets, held the faint smell of sea salt. He wasn’t about to tell any of that to Silja though. 

The girl pouted, smudging her lilac lipstick at the corners. “Didn’t you miss me at all? Not even a little bit?” 

“No.”

She smiled. Her neck moved to the side as her eyes mustering him. “You and your attitude. I really missed that.”

Harry let his head fall back and for a moment Y/N forgot to eye the girl hitting on her boyfriend and instead stared at his throat. She longed to kiss him there, too. The darkened expression taking over his relaxed face quickly brought her attention back. Thinking about kissing him had made her miss the words Silja had said to upset him. 

“You’re wasting your time missing me.”

At last, Silja’s smile dropped. “You’re still with her, then?”

“Yep,” he replied shortly. 

 “Fine,” Silja pushed the long brown locks off her shoulder and crossed her arms, “maybe if she fucked you right you wouldn’t be such an asshole all the time.” 

“Fuck off, Silja,” Harry snapped, pushing himself off the wall to instantly tower over her.

“Harry! Your turn again, mate.”

Without giving her as much as a second look, Harry turned away and followed Eric’s call. Dena’s hand rested on Y/N’s shoulder, squeezing her gently whilst smiling at her. Y/N exhaled loudly and relaxed. She didn’t doubt Harry’s capability of getting rid of Silja. She’d also truly meant it when she’d said that she trusted him. But after their argument she wasn’t so sure that he didn’t want to receive some affection tonight, be it from anybody. While she would have hated it, simply entertaining Silja’s flirting wouldn’t have been cheating. A warm feeling overtook any worry left in her body upon watching him turn Silja away. He didn’t bother look at her again but walked back to his friends to resume the game, treating her like she wasn’t even there. He didn’t even give Silja the satisfaction of remaining angered by her words. Giving up her attempts, Silja walked away and left the room quickly, her cheeks slightly rosy in embarrassment. 

“Remind me to kiss him later for that,” Y/N said, her voice holding more love for him than she would usually let on whilst angry. 

Clara laughed. “So you’re not mad at him anymore.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me that I was or I might still be.”

“What were you two fighting about anyway?” Dena asked. 

Y/N took another long sip from her drink, before remembering that she’d wanted to not drink any more for the night. Oh well. 

“He didn’t come home last night. Without notifying me. He fell asleep at stupid Rick’s place and neither of them bothered shooting me a text or ringing me about it. I spent all night worried sick.”

Y/N’s expression hardened at the thought of waiting up for him. She’d paced around the living room of their new flat before settling on the couch, vowing to stay awake until he returned. She’d had half a mind not to call his mother or sister, not quite worried enough to ask them. 

“I didn’t see him until an hour before coming here ‘cause I had to work today. So we didn’t have time to properly fight about it.”

“Didn’t he say he was sorry?”

“Sure he did, as well as stating that I was overreacting and not his mother.”

“Ugh, men,” Dena grumbled, then she changed the subject, “Let’s get refills in the kitchen!”

Harry got bored of the game after the fifth round, but stayed to play until the team he’d joined won by a margin. Then he politely excused himself from playing another round. Though she’d told him she didn’t want to see him, Harry really wanted to see Y/N and he figured over an hour of distance sufficed for her to calm down. Maybe she would even allow herself to be happy about him finding her. He strolled around the room, then went looking in the hall and finally searched the lounge. If only she were a little taller, he thought once more. All of sudden he heard a loud shout. It wasn’t one of the usual party hollers, it was one that held no joy at all. With swift strides Harry crossed the room, turned left in the hallway and entered the kitchen. This time he didn’t have to search to see her. Y/N was sitting on the counter, her legs dangling down and her hands curling around the stone surface. Across from her was the kitchen table on which all of the different liquor bottles had been placed. It was also where the single shout turned into several. A guy Harry hadn’t ever seen around campus before stood next to a broken bottle of vodka. His hand curled into a fist and his face was red. Opposite him stood Dena, a girl Harry barely knew beyond her being a friend of Y/N. Next to Dena was a guy named Dylan, his face painted with guilt and worry. 

“You fucking broke my shit!” the stranger shouted. 

Y/N flinched. It wasn’t Dena who’d pissed off the wrong guy, but Dylan who had tried to make a drink for them. She didn’t feel any less involved if the guy were to be shouting at her. The second the bottle had broken and the tall stranger exclaimed that it’d been his, Y/N had felt fear curse through her. She hated it. She hated how a man shouting was so scary that she froze in place.  Just like she always did when afraid, her eyes began to search for Harry. Heavy like a wave and equally overwhelming was the relief when she saw him lingering in the doorway.  Their eyes met. Y/N visibly relaxed. She could read the question in the look he was giving her and she eagerly nodded. There were so few people scattered around the small place, Harry had no trouble reaching the counter.  Once in arms reach she held out her right hand, whimpering when his fingers slotted through hers and holding on tight. Any anger towards each other was forgotten the moment their skin touched. Y/N gave a determined pull until he stood next to where she was sitting, her legs touching his waist. Harry didn’t say anything, but he allowed her to let go of his hand to instead hold on to his shoulder. His own settled heavily on her thigh, relishing the feeling of her bare skin. He didn’t complain when her fingers curled tightly around the fabric of his shirt, nor did she mind how intimate it felt to have his hand on her naked thigh. His eyes quickly scanned her face, waiting for her nod, confirming that she was alright. Y/N smiled gently, relief mirroring in her eyes. Harry returned her smile. His heart clenching when he noticed the faint veil of alcohol before her eyes. Ever so slightly, their heads leaned towards each other, then his nose softly touched her forehead.

“He didn’t do it on purpose,” Dena said defensively, “and these bottles are for everybody to use.”

Harry shifted closer to Y/N but removed his nose form her hairline. Unwillingly he turned his attention back to where the argument grew. The stranger’s head, figuratively doubling in size by the minute, was red and looming over Dena like a balloon hovering in the sky. He had to admit it was impressive that Dena, equally short as Y/N, refused to back off.

“I wasn’t asking you! You and your friend better figure out how to replace my drink and you better do it fast!”

“Mate, lay off a bit, will ya? They didn’t do anything on purpose,” Harry interrupted, his voice calm and steady, “Why don’t you just grab one of the ten other bottles and leave ‘em alone?” 

The stranger, slightly shorter than Harry, turned to look at them. Y/N tightened her hold on his shoulder. She was mentally preparing herself to jump off the counter and at the stranger’s throat instead, should he as much as try to pick a fight with Harry. Noticing her shift beside him, Harry’s hold on her intensified.

“Leave them alone?” the tall guy snapped, “that was twenty fucking quid he broke!” 

“Bit embarrassing that you’re whining about twenty quid,” Harry said, wearing a smug grin, “and picking a fight like some kind of neanderthals who found out somebody’s pissed into his cave.” 

Dena giggled and so did Y/N, along with some bystanders who’d gathered to watch. The bloke narrowed his eyes, first at Harry, then at the girl sitting beside him. 

He opened his mouth to speak, but Y/N interrupted him. “Quit looking at me and spare me any sexist bullshit you’re about to say.” 

The guy rolled his eyes, then smiled. “You’re pretty for a bitch.”

Y/N’s hand yanked Harry back by his shoulder equally fast as he’d pushed off the counter to lunge forward and at the guy. The movement caused him to knock against the counter uncomfortably. She didn’t let go and didn’t move, despite Harry’s enraged breathing getting louder.  

“Fuck you!” Harry shouted, eyes wide. 

Anger oozed out of his pores and heat settled in the small kitchen. Calm and collected only a moment ago, he was all the more scarier now that he was enraged. Scary enough to make the stranger take back a step. Y/N loosened her hold on Harry’s shoulder, sliding her hand down to press against his back instead. She rubbed his spine gently, hoping to ease him by letting him know she was okay. 

"You need to leave,” Y/N stated, her voice calm.

“Definitely,” Dena agreed, her eyes trained on her friend before finding Harry.

He didn’t return her gaze, his eyes remained on the tall blonde. They stayed put until the guy lowered his empty cup to the table, the movement slow and deliberate. He clearly didn’t want it to look like he was leaving because he was told to, so he took his time. But finally he turned away, before at last leaving the kitchen and hopefully the party all together. 

Harry shuddered upon feeling Y/N’s nose against the shell of his ear. “I’m fine, Harry.”

“What a wanker.”

“A fucking wanker,” Y/N replied, her smile practically audible in her voice. 

Harry turned around to face her, all of his attention returning to where it belonged: her. His eyes looked into hers intently, reading every answer to all of his unspoken questions.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes. Are you?”

He nodded. “Did he try anything before I came?”

“I noticed him about zero-point-five seconds before you arrived, Harry. I’m fine, I promise.”

Her hands gently took hold of his face. The fingers of her left hand traced along his jawline as tenderly as one would the rim of a glass in hopes of eliciting a sound. That’s how Harry sometimes felt when she touched him. Like she was being as tender as she could possibly fathom to be. 

“Does that mean you’re gonna go back to being mad at me?” As he spoke, Harry moved closer. His hands rested on each side of her hips, allowing his body to get closer to hers as he leaned forward.

Y/N laughed and shook her head, their faces so close they almost touched. She enjoyed the warmth of his breath fanning against her throat. 

“Are you? You were at least as pissed off as I was.”

He shrugged, then playfully nudged her nose with his. “No.”

“Then I think I’ll let it go, too,” she answered, faking to be coy, “For now, you still owe me an apology later.”

Harry laughed. “That’s fair. Promise to mean it this time, too.” 

Her eyes narrowed. She took hold of his chin, holding him still so she could kiss him without giving him the chance to deepen it. The feeling of his mouth slotting with hers, be it as briefly as it was, ignited her like nothing else could. Any remaining worry was pulled from the corners in her body where it had hidden, and was thrown out not to return. Harry took over. All of the space inside her that could belong to an emotion, now belonged to him.

“I knew you didn’t mean it earlier,” she breathed accusingly against his lips. 

“I meant it a little,” he said, curling his hand around her wrist to pull away the hold she’d taken and he kissed her a second time before she could complain. 

Despite their desperation their teeth didn’t clash together, nor did their noses unintentionally bump. They’d kissed too many times not to blindly meet each other without missing. His tongue glided along her bottom lip, hers pushed his aside so it could trespass into his mouth. Frantic hands held on to her hips and her thigh, eager fingers remembered to be gentle as they settled on the back of his neck. Harry moaned and Y/N pulled away.

“Thank you,” she whispered, just enough space between them so she could speak. 

Harry’s kisses trailed down from the corner of her mouth to her cheek and her jaw, his lips warm, wet and determined. He allowed one kiss to last a little longer, followed by a small lick to her earlobe.

As satisfied as could be as long as they weren’t alone, he raised his head to look at her again. “What for?”

“Being on my side even when we’re fighting.” 

The smile gracing her features was so genuine he could have melted, just like her words were spoken with more love behind them than he could detect. He smiled and willingly moved his head to the side, so she could kiss below his ear. The heat in his belly grew and he let her know by squeezing her hips.

“Ditto.”

#harry styles #harry styles angst #harry styles writing #harry styles one shot #harry styles story #harry styles imagine #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles update #harry styles fanficiton #harry styles au #fratboy!harry #fratboy #harry edward styles #hes #angst #fluff #harry angst #harry fluff #harry one shot #harry imagine #harry writing #harry story #smut #harry smut #hs #fine line #awc #after we collided #after

[kaypeace21]

Rebel Robin podcast (ep 3 &4 analysis)

For those who haven’t read them yet. Here’s the analysis for podcast ep 1&2. Analysis of Rebel Robin book-here. And eastereggs from rebel robin novel- here.

So the main things I noticed in ep 3 was how Robin spying was shown as a huge NEGATIVE-and Mr Hauser got upset over her doing so. Robin listens to mr. Hauser’s phone call (like Karen with Mike in s3/ us gov spying on calls in s1) & on a different occasion Robin also eavesdrops on a private convo he is having with someone else in his classroom ( like El spying on Mike talking to Lucas in s3). And when he finds out about this he tells her how wrong it was to spy on other people like that. In the past, I also talked about how the theme of spying is shown for many other st characters ( in the show) and how it  isn’t romanticized like people think it is- here .

Anyways , Ep 3 ends with a call from a h*mophobic teen( Dash) telling Robin to “stay away” from Mr. Hauser cause he’s “dangerous”. Why he thinks he’s dangerous is solely for the fact he’s gay.I think this theme may come into play in s4 Hawkins (in relation to the satanic panic). In ep 4 Robin jokes to (gay) Mr. Hauser  : “ So what are you into... satanism?” (Sadly most queer people have been told over and over we’re going to hell for being gay/lgbt+. it’s sadly an almost universal experience.) For those unaware- the ‘satanic panic’ was a right wing christian movement in the 80′s that WRONGLY associated certain things with supposed satanism.  Just some of the many things they demonized : rock music , stephen king , wearing black,  horror/fantasy media, and of course queer people and d&d (hellfire club - the name is a a xmen ref but in the show it’s probably an inside joke about the satanic panic and people being scared of d&d). We see foreshadowing of the satanic panic hinted in s3 (in relation to d&d)- on tv the narrator asks if “satanism” (pans to d&d set) is to blame for the odd occurrances in Hawkins. And given how the s4 el-trailer had the clock say 3:00am for the “witching hour” also called “the devil’s hour” since it’s supposed to be a subversion of jesus dy*ing at 3:00 pm. And the possibility s4 may take place around Easter.  I think we’ll see that religious (Christian) extre*sm  causes many people in Hawkins to interpret the supernatural as ‘satanic’. And no , I’m obviously not talking poorly about all religious/christian people).

After this Mr. Hauser jokes how Hawkins is like “lord of the flies” and how he “worries” what would happen if teens were left to their own devices-like in the book. The themes in the book mostly focus on the dangers of ‘mob mentality’ and how human beings can become v*olent and turn on each other- if the safety of civilization disappears...

This I believe is foreshadowing - i mentioned in a post a while back (here). How movies on the s4 list had the theme of :  a supernatural event indirectly causing towns people to act irrationally and turn on eachother v*olently. Despite literal monsters attacking them from outside (they chose to turn on eachother instead). In the end some townspeople become the real monsters via mob mentality/v*oence/false witch hunts (the mist, the birds, etc). In ‘the birds’ (while people are hidding in a store)- they wrongly  blame certain characters for the supernatural chaos. Similarly, in ‘the mist’ (crowd of townspeople are trapped in a store) and some  start interpreting the monsters as being sent as punishment by god- some town’s people start quoting the bible and saying the only way to stop the punishment is to start “sacrificing the s*nners and nonbelievers”. BIG YIKES.ST references mapple street (where the wheelers and sinclairs live). It’s based on the twilight zone ep of the same name “The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street” .The ‘monsters’ of that episode -were the townspeople turning on eachother because they incorrectly think their own neighbors are part of an invading supernatural army. The enemy was actually the paranoia/mob mentality-not the supernatural force they feared.  And yes i do think this concept is linked with 80s satanic panic and will cause some town division/obstacles for our heroes to deal with . **I also think the s4 bts of the Hawkins blood clinic-may be used to show h*mophobia (linked to satanic panic) in the town. Like in one s4 movie “paradise lost”the punk rock boys who were into black clothes, rock music , horror/stephen king books- were accused by the town’s people of being gay AND have demonic powers that are k*lling fellow town’s people.

Mr Hauser says he thinks steve Harrington is Ralph from lord of the flies. And Robin disagrees saying he’s Jack. Personally- since this was when Robin didn’t know/hated Steve. I think Mr hauser is right that Steve is Ralph (one of the oldest boys) who’s “commitment to civilization and morality is strong”. But Jack  (perhaps the popular s4 kid Jake?) and his savage crew take control of the group and start trying to attack Ralph and his friends (steve’s crew- over satanic panic?). How this begins is -

 Jack, torments Ralph and others. And some kids begin to develop savage personalities, after someone claims to have seen a Beast (demongorgan?) in the woods. This creates fear among the boys, which allows Jack to access more power.Ralph gets into an argument with Jack, who splits from the tribe. Many of the other boys follow Jack, who uses fear to manipulate the boys into leaving Ralph. And Jack’s crew begin attacking Ralph and his friends.

----------------

Ok, next topic of ep 4- the sentimental part of my brain got emotional when hearing how upset Robin was. And than Mr Hauser-telling her she’s wrong and she’s not “broken” or “rotten” and “nothing about her needs to be fixed’” (got me right in the feels) . As a queer person- I feel like every lgbt+ kid/teen needs to hear what Mr. Hauser said to Robin. 

However,  the analytical part of my brain -did notice some easterggs/ series parallels.

The convo starts with them talking about music Mr hauser likes (such as Bowie). And transitions to Mr Haauser asking about things she likes, whether she’s being bullied, and he later tells her “ DON’T let other people’s small mindedness make you fell bad about yourself. you don’t need to change yourself-no matter what anyone else says” . And Mr Hauser than says him calling her the “weirdest girl in Hawkins” was a compliment (not an insult-like she initially assumed). 

This is remarkably similar to certain scenes in s1/2. In s1, Jonathan mentions musicians he likes such as Bowie, asks Will about what he likes,  and tells Will “don't like things cause people tell you you’re supposed to-especially not him (their dad who called him h*mophobic names)” . In s2, Jonathan tries to cheer Will up after asking if he's being being bullied. And calls Will  “a freak” (and says it’s a good thing) and he should be content with being a “freak “ and compares Will to Bowie ( who was openly queer since the 70s) . 

In ep 4, Robin also mentions how sad she is that her parents won’t let her ride her bike anymore cause their paranoid about her safety  (like what happened to Will in s2).

Robin (before Mr. Hauser comforts her) says she feels like she has a “rot” inside her  . This is a s2 eastergg that could be linked to either Will or El. Will says his now-memories are “growing”, spreading”, and killing.” Later Kali says the emotional pain caused by her father  caused a “wound” to “spread”. Later allusion-Brenner tells El she has a “terrible wound “ (“a rot”) that Will “grow, spread, and kill.”

The reason Robin rants about feeling like she has a “rot” inside her is because she’s being bullied, and  lost all her Hawkins friends and says  “maybe I’m broken maybe there is just something about me that drives people away? I’m the only common denominator-there’s something wrong with me! There’s something inside of me that’s just rotten and there’s nothing i can do to fix it”. Which 1)-poor Robin. 2) I feel like could easily be How Will feels in s4(who will be the same age as Robin is here in the podcast)- his dad abandoned him, all his hawkins friends are gone , the st s4 movies have h*mophobic bullying in them (and he was bullied in the past). In a interview Noah said Will in s4 “doesn’t really get along with people-it’s just him and Mike.”  I think it fits more so with Will than El . But they may feel similar:  it’s implied in s4 audition tapes she’ll be bullied too,  she moved away from her friends,  and her father (Hopper) fake “passed away.” It could easily be how both Will and El feel in s4- that there is  something “broken”/ “rotten” about them . In fact, in the rebel Robin novel there is even a character named Sheena. Sheena reminds me a bit of a mix between Will and el . She is very quiet, queercoded, and is often bullied. And she finds mean notes and other things stuffed  in her locker- placed there by bullies. A bit like how Will found the zombie-boy note in his locker. A teacher doesn’t stop her bullying just blames her and says “ This wouldn’t happen if you made it just a smidgen easier for PEOPLE to understand you.”(sort of reminding me of that Noah quote about s4 Will not getting along with most people/Jonathan saying not to change himself cause “people” say to). But sheena can be another name for Jane (there was also a 80s show character named Sheena who was psychic) so ...maybe foreshadowing of el/jane being bullied in highschool? Along with Will?

*It’s not a eastergg/parallel...just speculation. Unlike the rebel robin book... in the podcast (in multiple episodes) almost every time she opens up to Mr Hauser about her problems she says it’s ok for him to do the same and she’ll be supportive and listen. However, Mr Hauser (so far) always rejects her offer-much to her hurt/frustration. In ep 4, she asks if he has someone his “own age” he can talk to about his problems-which he says he does. Now... since in ep 4 Mr hauser is paralleled to Jonathan maybe Jonathan will have someone his own age to talk to about his problems (maybe his new friend Argyle?) We see similar to Mr Hauser giving advice/pep talks to (gay) Robin. Jonathan is always giving advice/peptalks to our (gay-coded) Will. But so far- Jonathan has no one he really emotionally leaned on in the same way (Will does with Jonathan). I also wonder if Will in s4 starts gets tired of how he always confides in Jonathan (but Jonathan never does the same with Will  in return)? Like Robin with Mr. Hauser?

#robin buckley #steve harrington #will byers #el hopper #jonathan byers #stranger things #stranger things theory

[booksforevermore13]

I know now

Summary: Harry heaved in a breath, and looked at her, this time seeing her for herself, and not the little girl he had gotten used to in his mind.

"I know now," he said.

And Lily smiled.

Read it on AO3 if you prefer.

...

"I learnt about fishes today." Harry heard Lily's voice and turned to look at her.

A smile tugged at his lips as he saw the small, though hazy figure of his daughter by the edge of the bed, red hair bundled on her head in an angry halo as she tugged her dress further down her knees.

One hand reached out beside him to find his glasses, flailing around when he felt a pair being gently put over his eyes. Harry kissed Lily's hands, brushing his beard against her palm and smiling as she giggled.

"Now, about the fishes," he started as Lily climbed up on the bed and crawled onto his stomach, Harry holding her by her side to keep her steady.

"I saw a movie today," she said, "about Dory. And Nemo. But I liked Dory the best," and Harry nodded, though he hadn't the slightest idea what she was saying. "Dory is blue in colour and she has yellow fins, like the yellow of the sun and she can breathe in water and make whale sounds, like this." She oohed and Harry laughed as she oohed until she lost her breath.

"Dory sounds good," he said seriously, lips set in a half-smile.

"I think she's really pretty. Even prettier than Mummy."

"Then I bet she's good."

"Mummy said so too. She said I was right."

Lily smiled triumphantly, and Harry smiled back, gently stroking her hair out of her bun. Lily hated her hair like that, but at three, it had grown past her shoulders, and Ginny had resorted to tying it every morning before school.

Lily didn't like that either.

"Daddy," she called now and Harry's eyes left her hair and settled on her.

"Hmm?"

"Can you make me Dory?"

"Make you - wait, what?"

Lily looked expectantly at him and he stared blankly back at her as he fumbled with what she said.

"Dory's a fish, Lils," he said after a while. "I don't think anyone can be Dory."

"But you can do anything," she protested. "And Mummy always says anyone can be anything they want."

And that was what Lily asked. Never an extra side of ice-cream or a piece of fudge in the middle of the night. A few months back, she'd asked him to turn her into a tiger. The month after, she'd wanted to be a princess. He'd agreed gladly to that, before she'd proposed he turn into a frog so that she could kiss him and he'd turn into a prince.

Now, it was Dory, the blue fish.

It seemed as if she took Ginny's advice most literally.

He was tempted to turn her down, at least the logical part of him did, but then he looked at her and saw the way she was staring at him, with that hopeful glint in her eyes and almost immediately knew she'd won.

She always did.

It wasn't a surprise when an hour later, when they looked into the mirror, they met with a disgruntled orange dad carrying his elated blue daughter, yet, both of them happy.

Dory and Nemo indeed.

...

"Think you can catch up, old man?" Lily said as she took off after the Snitch, her hair flying behind her, like her mother's had, years before. Harry watched with a smile as she flipped her broom in the air, hands steady as she shot off again in typical Weasley fashion. He had to warn her about that, but part of him — the part that defended his children from his wife after a poorly executed prank — knew she had it handled.

It was only after James had hollered at him to get moving, did he realize that he had to catch the Snitch too. "Sorry," he yelled as he took off behind Lily, searching for that familiar golden glint of light he'd gotten used to over the years before realising there wasn't any to follow.

He slowed down. A Wronski Feint, she'd been attempting and almost succeeded in pulling off.

She'd almost got him.

Almost.

"Why are you slowing down?" James yelled from his Keeper post as he dashed to block a Quaffle. Instead of kicking it away from him, he caught it, turned around and put it through the hoop.

Cheating it was, him playing Keeper and Chaser at the same time, but there were only four players, and his children were set on making it as realistic as possible.

Harry only smiled knowingly at James, the Dad-smile, the one that his children hated, before he heard Lily yell and took a sharp turn to face her.

She was holding something, something small and grinning widely and as Harry squinted, he saw a golden object in her fist, wings folded as it struggled against her grasp, a futile attempt to get out, as every Seeker knew.

"Wha—"

"Yes, Lily!" Albus yelled, before he even had a second to register his disbelief. He whooped and stuck out his tongue at James. "Take that, you oaf!"

"Oh, shut up," James muttered as his glare turned to Harry. "I swear Dad, if you took it easy on her—"

"I didn't!" Harry defended. "There - I thought - there wasn't any Snitch when I followed her!"

"What's she holding now, a trumpet?"

"Yeah I transfigured it into a Snitch," Lily said sarcastically from behind Harry and he could hear the distinct flutter of a Snitch caught. "Look around, you'll probably see the real one behind your shoulder.

Albus was laughing hysterically on his broom while they fought and Harry had a distinct feeling that there was something else going on between them three. He watched them for a few seconds, before turning to Lily.

"How did you do that?" he asked her, glancing yet again at the Snitch in her hand.

Lily shrugged, an arrogant smirk plastered on her face as her eyes gleamed with what he knew was glee. A smile made his way on his face as he took in her stance, one he'd seen many times before.

James yelled behind him, breaking through his reverie and Harry turned around, just barely catching him pass over a coin to his brother.

"You had bets?" he asked incredulously and Albus slipped the coin in his pocket with a sheepish grin.

"I thought that was obvious," Lily said flippantly from behind him and Harry frowned.

"What were you betting on?"

"Which of you'd catch the snitch first," James said, "thanks Dad. Really appreciate it."

"Your welcome," Lily piped in again and James glared at her. "What?" she defended, "everyone here knows I'm the only one here who can beat him."

"Bollocks."

"Yeah?" Lily mocked and Harry chuckled as he watched James rise up to the challenge, not long before they were yelling at each other, mostly led by James and Lily with the occasional comment from Albus that fuelled their entire brawl.

It'd take their mother to make them stop.

He laughed out loud when he saw Ginny walk outside with a chocolate covered spatula and brandish it at the three of them as she yelled something he couldn't hear.

He had been right.

Harry flew towards the ground, landing on his feet a few metres away from his wife. He smiled as he saw her turn to face him.

"Lily caught it," he announced, entirely unaware of himself and watched as Ginny smiled in amusement and turned away from him.

"Didn't expect that, did you?"

"Absolutely not."

They walked into the house, Ginny heading towards the kitchen and Harry following her. He watched her for a while as she bustled about, taking out the eggs from the fridge and flour from the cabinet, attempting to open the sugar with one hand before Harry did it for her.

"Where are they?" he asked after a second, noting the absence of his children hovering around the kitchen.

"The boys are upstairs," Ginny stated, "Lils said she'll be at Luna's. Said she had some work."

"Work?"

"Yes, well, we both know what work she actually has."

Ginny looked up at him, grinning. First year off at Hogwarts and Lily had stepped out the train with her three newly indicted friends, two of them being her cousins. The Marauders, they called themselves. The two years that had followed, they'd only grown closer, choosing to spend all their time together, Luna's house being their place.

Mostly because she never interfered.

Harry had only grown to notice the striking similarity they had to the original four.

"It's an acquired name, but I don't think they'll mind," Ginny said softly and Harry laughed, recognizing the words Lily had said the day she'd come back from Hogwarts.

"They won't," he agreed. "They'd be proud, actually."

He dipped one finger in the batter, laughing as Ginny swatted it off.

"Are you upset?" she teased as she continued mixing the batter with her spatula.

"About what?"

"Third time this week you couldn't catch the snitch" she pointed out and Harry laughed.

Five years ago, he'd been the one teaching Lily how to catch a snitch. How the roles had reversed.

"She's clever, I'll give you that," Harry said. "Though I can't fathom how she managed to hide the Snitch from me."

"She didn't," Ginny said with a smile. "I thought you of all people wouldn't fall for that."

"What do you mean?"

Harry waited for her answer but then frowned as he saw her smile fall.

"Nothing," she replied finally and sighed. "One day you'll realise she's more like you than you'll ever know."

He didn't know what Ginny was hinting at. It had become obvious over the months that he was struggling, reaching out to Lily. At fourteen, it seemed whatever he said, it wasn't enough to understand her. His own daughter was a mystery to him, and sometimes he envied Ron for the easy understanding he had with Rose.

"I don't get it," Harry muttered as he slipped her hands around Ginny's waist, bringing her back closer to his chest. He bent forward, pressing his lips below her ear and Ginny smiled sadly.

"I hope you don't mind getting flour on that shirt."

Harry didn't answer, and Ginny arched her neck to look at him. "You're going to tell me what you're thinking?" she asked, and he smiled down at her as he saw her eyes shrouded with concern. Even after all these years, she knew exactly what he was feeling, every time.

He shook his head and Ginny turned around, Harry's arms still around her.

"I don't know her anymore," he admitted. "Not like-not like I did back then." He sighed. "I don't think I even know what her favourite colour is now," he said, looking down at his wife.

"It's still green, I can tell you. Green like the forest—"

"After the rain," Harry finished and laughed.

He remembered when Lily had said that for the first time. She was three, her biggest fascination then, being his eyes. He remembered how she had begged him one day to change her brown eyes to his green, and he'd wondered why. Her eyes were the most exquisite ones he'd seen, exactly like her mother's, but apparently, the three year old thought differently. He'd taken her to the forest the next day and told her to choose a leaf, any leaf so that he could transfigure it to something she'd be able to keep with her always. He'd not expected her to choose the entire forest, and Harry had simply smiled then at the innocence with which she'd looked at him.

"She's going to be seventeen soon," he said finally. "She's not… my little girl anymore."

"Yet she still looks at you like she's three."

"And I hope that never changes."

...

Ginny was outside. He knew she could listen to each and every word he said. He looked across him at Lily, and then back at the ground again.

This was not for Lily.

She was not made for the Ministry. She was not supposed to be an Auror.

How was Ginny not seeing this?

How had she accepted it so easily?

Twenty-five years ago, when he'd walked into the Ministry, he'd vowed that things would change. They had to at that time.

Fifteen years later, he'd found himself vowing he'd not let his children suffer the same fate he had had. That he'd not let them become a pawn of the Ministry.

To his credit, he'd succeeded.

Three years ago, when James decided to become a Curse Breaker, he'd felt the relief that one felt after a hard job well done. One year later, when Albus claimed his dreams of becoming a Healer, he'd been satisfied. He had been so sure he'd saved them from a miserable future.

Harry had never expected his youngest to say those words.

"Dad," Lily urged now. "Dad."

Harry looked up from the floor, and met with his daughter's eyes, carrying a look he'd seen many times before. It was the look she had before she caught the Snitch, the one she'd had when she'd asked him to turn her into Dory so many years ago.

It was when she was unstoppable.

"How'd it come to this, Lils?" Harry asked. "Why an Auror? I always thought you wanted to play Quidditch. Like your mum."

What had gone wrong?

"That was when I was eleven, Dad," Lily said, and he had that unworldly feeling that he had let her down. "I'm seventeen now. I know what I want to do."

"No you don't, Lils," he said. "The Ministry isn't what it was before. It isn't—"

"You don't think I know that?" Lily said quietly, and he could see the anger flashing in her eyes.

She knew that. She'd known that for years now.

She'd been on the receiving side of it.

Four years back, when she'd needed help, the Ministry hadn't given it.

Four years back, when she'd been cornered by Dementors in broad daylight, the Ministry hadn't come to her rescue.

He remembered the muffled cries he'd heard from her room that night, cries she'd tried hard to suppress, but hadn't been able to. She'd been the witness to the work of a Dementor. An innocent Muggle being a victim. He knew she blamed herself. For not being able to produce a Patronus. For not being able to save a person who'd only ever tried to help.

He'd failed in protecting her.

And she'd paid the price.

Eleven years back and it had happened again.

She had a friend. Julian. He remembered him. When they were seven, they liked to play in the pond at the back of their house, pretending to be frogs turned into princes. He remembered how the cookies vanished when they were together, how the swing he'd tied to the poplar tree in their garden was reserved only for them.

That day Ginny had had to go out, so Lily had gone over to play with him.

Harry had always known his work would one day catch up with him.

Just never like this.

When he'd got that message from Ginny, her horse prancing around the room in a panicked gallop, he knew it had happened. When he Apparated into their house, Julian's parents were the first thing he saw. Lying on the floor, victims of the killing curse.

But nothing could have prepared him from what he saw upstairs.

Julian's body. His eyes gazing into the ceiling, his hands which had never stayed still before, lying limp on the ground. It was very much unlike the sandy-haired boy he'd grown accustomed to see during the weekends, sitting opposite to him in the kitchen as he helped himself to Ginny's pancakes.

Beside him, Lily lay on her mother's lap, sobbing into her shirt, but refusing to leave Julian's side. He could hear her incoherent cries, her mumbles as she repeated a phrase over and over again.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

And his heart broke, because his little girl had seen something no child should ever have to see.

Because she'd watched her friend die.

Because he'd failed again.

And she'd paid the price.

Lily knew the Ministry — better than even he did — how they chose whom to save, how they chose whom they forgot, their cases never to be heard of again. How the Ministry had slowly lost sight of what they were fighting for. How it was just a crumbling shell in the place of what it had once been.

And even though it was the most daunting thing he'd ever admitted to himself, deep down, he knew that Lily was wired to this. Just like he'd been at her age, this was what she knew she wanted to do.

But unlike him, he knew she'd succeed in what he failed.

And even though he didn't understand, he knew he didn't have a choice.

"I always thought you wanted to be a Quidditch player," he said, and Lily smiled, her eyes tired. As if she was tired of fighting for herself.

But he knew she still had fight left.

"I think you lost me there on the way," she replied finally and Harry smiled.

"Yeah. Yeah, I probably did."

"One day you'll realise she's more like you than you'll ever know."

He'd never understand, but he'd try.

He'd vowed he'd never let his children do the same mistakes he had, but perhaps, that vow had been more for him than it was for them. And in the end, he knew that him being an Auror had only fueled the fire he'd begun to see in his daughter.

Perhaps, him being an Auror hadn't been a mistake at all.

If that's what she wanted to be.

"You know, Dad," Lily said, and Harry, for a second there, saw a hint of fear in her eyes but didn't know what it was for. "I don't exactly need your permission."

"I know you don't."

"I'd just really like you to know."

Harry nodded, his green eyes glinting with unshed tears. Green like the forest a rainy day, she'd said. Green like his.

Because if there was one thing he'd always known about his daughter, it was that she knew him. That even when he'd lacked in being a father to her at times, she'd never lost sight of him.

Even when he hadn't listened to her present.

But he'd listen to her now. He'd do for her what he should have done years back.

Listen.

So he smiled because he'd lost her there, but never completely. Because she was his daughter. Because she was his to protect and let go.

Because she was more like him than he'd ever know.

Harry heaved in a breath, and looked at her, this time seeing her for herself, and not the little girl he had gotten used to in his mind.

"I know now," he said.

And Lily smiled.

...

Written for the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition

Huge, huge thanks to my teammates for beta-ing!!

#Lily Luna and Harry father daughter relationship #Harry Potter #Lily Luna Potter #Ginny Weasley #Hinny fluff #Family #Timeline #Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley #Albus Severus Potter #James Sirius Potter #Father Daughter fluff #Next gen #Next-gen fan fiction #Fanfiction #Hinny #Hinny married #written for the quidditch league fan fiction competition